#good day for neil i guess

[beaulesbian]

happy neil banging out the tunes day, as well as a new release of a book from which the protagonist of the previous trilogy was also called neil 🎉

[baconcolacan]

sneaky peeky gross teenagers

[bilaudad]

(I'm bad at social media haha just starting to get the hang of discord and I forget tumblr)

apologies for my pro-smoking propaganda lol in my defense:

1. they're immortal ethereal/occult beings who could probably miracle away cancerous cells the instant they detect the imperfectly copied DNA

2. i like it

[shebsart]

That's her fun uncle!! That's his special little guy!!!

[meatiors]

Foxes lineup but somethings a bit different 🤔

[spilledcoffeeonthefloor]

Andrew didn't recognize his surrounding, and even the time.

he couldn't figure out if it was daytime, nighttime, afternoon, or whatever.

the sky was gray, it seemed cloudy, but it wasn't. it was just gray.

hah, Neil would love this sky.

last thing he knew, he was, well, he didn't remember but he was with Neil wherever he was.

and now he was standing on top of a building, on the roof. there was nothing else around him. it seemed like nothing else even existed. it was just him, a gray sky and an unknown figure who was sitting on the edge of the roof with his back to Andrew.

Andrew cast on last look to his surrounding and approached the figure. somehow he wasn't scared, somehow he didn't even care.

he looked at the figure just as the figure turned to look at him;

and he was looking at himself.

the person sitting on the edge had his exact same face, and somehow, 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸, he knew it wasn't Aaron.

it was him, himself, staring at him like a mirror.

"who the fuck are you." Andrew asked, because wasn't everything already too much 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭?

the person, the other Andrew in fact, took his eyes away and looked at the gray sky. "well, I'm you, if you haven't figured it out yet."

"because that's so possible? i already have a copy i don't think I'll need another one"

the person, the other Andrew 𝑼𝒈𝒉, pointed to the sky , then their surrounding and said "does any of this looks possible to you?"

"is that a dream, then?"

"to you, maybe."

Andrew sat down, he guessed it might actually be a dream, cause he didn't feel his heartbeat increase by the fear of falling and crashing down into the nothingness that was beneath their feet.

Andrew heard little sounds of 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌, 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌, 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌, and looked around to see his other self playing with a set of keys, connected to a fox key chain, that Andrew had seen before, but was 100% sure that it wasn't his, and he know who it was for.

the other Andrew,(Andrew decided to call him the guy, cause whatever, there's only one real Andrew) somehow noticed Andrew watching, And raised an eyebrows.

"is there a rabbit for every version of me existing in this world?" Andrew scoffed.

"actually, yeah, probably. in other worlds too" said the guy.

"oh?"

"hm." and after a moment "is yours still alive?"

a beat.

"what?"

"your rabbit. Neil. is your Neil alive?"

"what the fuck was this supposed to mean?"

the other Andrew made a sound. it was something exhausted and, dead. sad. Angry, Andrew didn't know, he didn't know. huh, the irony, Andrew didn't know himself.

or this version of himself, with whatever bullshit he was saying.

"i take that as a yes."

Andrew started to see it now. Andrew always had thought that he was fucked up. he always knew it, it was a fact, and at some point, he believed that it couldn't get any worse. at the point where he lost all his feelings, at the point where he was a shell filled with nothingness, he believed that it couldn't be any worse, cause what can affect you anymore when you don't feel a fucking thing? when you're barely a person?

but now? Andrew could see it. this guy, this version of himself, is way more dead than Andrew could imagine being possible for himself.

"yours is not?"

"no."

no. Andrew could see it now.

"how?"

"baltimore."

baltimore. Andrew could fucking see it now. he'd been having a lot of feeling toward that day. the mess of fuckedupity that came with that day was a blow, was a damage that took so hard to heal and still, some nights Andrew would see Neil dead in his nightmare. but whatever happened, whatever it was, at the end, Neil would take Andrew's hand and put it on his heart to say 𝘴𝘦𝘦? 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦.

"why am i here? " Andrew asked. was this whole thing some kind of a warning? was it his subconscious trying to tell him something?

everything was so dull and gray Andrew had to close his eyes before it stared to hurt.

"i don't know. i don't know why you're here, but it doesn't matter, you're not gonna be here again tomorrow, only i will, and another me with another similar but different life, like you."

"why does this happen."

"again, i don't know. i guess I'm cursed."

"cursed."

"cursed, to see how else all this could have gone, or maybe bless, to see that at least i had it in another universe."

"do you think I'm you from another universe?"

"i stopped wondering long ago. i stopped doing anything long ago, stopped living probably, i don't know. every now and then i find myself here, and everytime another me comes seat down beside me, all of them lived a different possibility. some didn't know Who Aaron even was, some didn't know who Neil was, some where like me,"

the guy looked down

"sometimes, no one would come. on those days, i can feel... death. i feel cold. i feel the weight of an incomplete life. i guess on those lives, we chose to end it early. I'm sure you know why, and probably when."

there was times, Andrew remembered, when he would look at the blade in his hand, and it would take everything for him to not go much deeper this time and end it for good. he remember making his decision countless times, but he just couldn't do it. sometimes he thinks maybe, maybe if Aaron hadn't come up in his life, if higgins never told him about Aaron, if he had never made his way to juvie, maybe he couldn't take it anymore. maybe, maybe he'd rather go.

"i envy them, sometimes, the dead." said the guy, then he looked at Andrew, and Andrew felt his 13 year old self stare at him, just as hopeless, as dead. the guy smiled and bitterness leaked from the smile "but you shouldn't, and i know you don't. you are probably even happy that you didn't end it back then. see? that's the blessing part, i get to see me have this in another life."

Andrew's vision blurres

"he will hold your heart in his hand and force it to beat if it feels like a flat line."

he looked at Andrew "he does, right?"

"Are you asking me? you seemed so sure of what you're saying."

the guy,(maybe now Andrew could accept he really was himself) closed his eyes

"cause that's what i felt it might be like. that's how i thought it might feel like. that's what i would let myself hope for, again, like a fucking fool. just a light, just something. but as i've always known and fooled myself to ignore because I'm fucking self destructive, I let myself hope again, and it almost killed me, again. not almost, i think it killed me completely this time. huh."

he looked at Andrew

Andrew thought what a joke, he ruins himself, he gets wrecked by himself everytime, destruc himself, whether by a self from this life, or another.

right now, he felt crushing down by all the things he heard.

but he felt something else too

"you're right" Andrew heard himself say.

the guy turned to look at him

"he does force my heart to beat."

Andrew saw the bitter smile again, like the other was choking on bitterness and it was leaking from his mouth.

he looked at the keychain in his hand.

seeing him, Andrew exactly felt like seeing one of the "what ifs".

Andrew shut his eyes, he couldn't watch anymore.

he heard the guy say" looking at you, i guess it could be worth it."

sometimes Andrew would wonder exactly that.

was it worth it? was it worth accepting the risk of getting all fucked up, like who he was staring at?

was tearing himself open and taking down his walls worth the possibility of things going downwards?

but does it even matter? it's not like it was supposed to happen anyway. it's not like Andrew even knew it was happening. Neil didn't take down his walls, didn't try climbing them up or cracking them open, but he stayed outside respecting them long enough that Andrew himself made a door for him through them. welcomed him.

guess he wouldn't give any of it up for the numbness and safety of being alone. even if it could all go down in flames.

"Aaron?"

Andrew opened his eyes

"Aaron what?"

"how is your Aaron."

"we broke the deal, if you know which one i meant. we go to therapy together."

"oh? does he want to stay?"

Andrew shrugged "I'll be paying for his med school."

"how."

"if i go pro."

he said if, but he knows he will, he made his decision long ago and there are plenty of teams who want him on their team.

"you still play exy"

he wasn't really surprised if the other Andrews in other lives didn't play exy.

wise people.

he looked at the guy as he stood up, looking at the sky.

"you're the first, you know?"

"first what" Andrew waited for an explanation.

"you're the first.." he looked down and seemed to think more of what to say

"between all lives, i think you're the closest I've seen to alive."

Andrew froze.

he wanted to laugh, of course the only ones wishing for his life are the more fucked up versions of himself.

he wanted to laugh then throw himself of the building.

but there was also something else, something that he felt guilty to feel, something that was, strange.

he felt,

he didn't know.

maybe, maybe, he was so fucked up that he was feeling

grateful,

somehow.

and scared.

he was scared too. he was confused too, and angry,

and meanwhile he wasn't really feeling anything cause the sky was too gray and it was all to blurry.

he closed his eyes and just wished he could put his hands on Neil's heart.

"stand up" he heard the guy say.

Andrew opened his eyes and stood up

"i don't think it's faith. not all of it, at least. i guess part of it was faith, and luck.

but other part of it is us. it was up to you. and me.

you did it. you've come so far, you deserve it, and more."

he kept staring at the gray sky

"for one last time, i want to hope.

i hope in another life, i would let myself want, enough for every life where i couldn't. and i hope it would be worth it, enough for every life where it wasn't.

for every life where i didn't make it, i hope I'd want to live just as much."

the guy started to fade, Andrew thought. the building started to shake, the sky felt like falling.

"i hope in another life i get to live a life, past just surviving, past the numbness,

enough for every life where i didn't."

he looked at Andrew.

"i hope you get to live a life, so my hopes don't go to waste."

then he put a hand on Andrew's chest, and pushed him off the building.

𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘐'𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 Andrew thought, falling.

-------------------------------------------------------------

when Andrew opened his eyes, he saw blue.

he didn't know why he was expecting gray,

but all he could see was a concern blue, staring back at him.

𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘵, he thought.

he also didn't know why he was feeling so relieved, but he let out a breath, and felt like this is his first breath in forever.

"nightmare?" Neil asked him. tucked so close, lying beside him in their bed in Colombia.

nightmare? Andrew didn't remember. but his heart was beating fast and he woke up suddenly so it must have been a nightmare.

he shrugged.

"want me to go?"

another thing Andrew didn't know was why the thought of Neil leaving right now was so terrifying.

the fact that Andrew didn't want Neil leaving, isn't shocking itself. it's been so long since Neil's presence in bed after Andrew's nightmares was comforting rather than not,

but what shocked both him and Neil was the fact that Andrew was scared of Neil leaving. he clenched to Neil before he could stop himself and saw the shock on Neil's face.

"i won't go, you know I'll stay if you want me to."

"i want you to. stay. "

he had said this sentence at least 10 times in the last 10 days, but today it somehow felt...heavy, more, deep.

𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵.

"ok" Neil settled more comfortably this time and brought his hand to the side of Andrew's face. Andrew put his own hand on Neil's.

he was afraid that if he took his eyes away from Neil's, everything would turn gray.

he didn't know why, he couldn't remember.

after a few minutes, he felt the urge to do something.

he lifted his other hand and put it on Neil's heart.

when he felt the first beat of Neil's heart, a tension he was holding since he woke up, left this body. color came back to everything, he wasn't scared to see gray anymore.

Neil's heart keep beating steadily under his palm. calm.

𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘵, 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦.

Neil was looking at him with, something. not concern, something deeper,

better.

Neil put his other hand on Andrew's.

Now he had a hand on Andrew's face, under Andrew's hand, and another hand on Andrew's, on his own chest.

Andrew could lay there forever.

he didn't know how long had passed, but he eneded up laying on top of Neil, head fixed on his heart. closing his eyes while Neil had a hand on his back and kept stroking his hair with the other.

𝘋𝘶 𝘥𝘶𝘮, 𝘋𝘶 𝘥𝘶𝘮, 𝘋𝘶 𝘥𝘶𝘮

like it was saying

𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦, 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦

[tio-trile]

crazy to me that 600+ people just unfollowed you for like. having an argumented opinion. i understand emotional attachment to characters and/or a show but honestly, your asks have been 100% thought-provoking and 0% hateful to the people who enjoyed the show. i've seen the first season of the show before i read the book, if i recall it all correctly, but aziraphale and crowley are still pretty book version-ish in my head. overall, i'm just very glad to see someone fairly popular dislike the show. i had to create a whole new blog to rant about how much s2 sucked after i watched it, and i thought i would be kind of alone in that opinion, but now i'm reading through the good omens critical tag and smiling to myself in delight.

point is - s2 is a fever dream to me. i admire the delicate way you are handling all kinds of asks right now, because i was not that kind to the show At All in my rants.

It's about 750+ people now lol (the actual number must be more, because apparently I'm also gaining some followers)...to give them the benefit of the doubt, although I think the majority of my followers are Good Omens fans (I gained a lot of fans by doing art when season 1 came out), people who unfollowed me during my ask rampage aren't necessarily all angry Good Omens fans -- they may be people who followed me for another fandom that I never do art for anymore, or people who followed me for my only my art and not my takes. (Or, people who simply do not want to see tumblr asks......or bots that got deactivated? 😂) I know a lot of people weren't swelled to hear me say that I didn't want to see S3 made, so I take full responsibility for that one. Since I am a primarily Good Omens blog, I feel like I have to make my stance clear at some point......I guess if nobody asked me and then I never talked about the GO TV show ever again that's also a way -- but I felt strongly enough about it that I couldn't just pretend I was fine with it anymore. Thank you for your kind words.

[emily-mooon]

POV: You ship Stacey and Young Neil together and want to read a fic for them

AO3:

One fic, they are also a side pairing (that hasn’t even shown up yet!)

FF.Net:

Around seven or more fics for them. All are from the early 2010s, haven’t updated in years, and all vary in quality

Wattpad:

You went here to see if there was something for them that’s recent and you found nothing. Low key a waste of your time, but it was worth a shot

You immediately run back to the one palatable fic on FF.Net cause it’s better than nothing, and checking each of their character tags on AO3 to see if someone posted something for them (spoiler no one has)

[kelseyafterdark]

Good omens really said bury your gays but the gay in question is me. I died.

[ineffablefool]

I have been playing Furry Paws, because I literally used to do Punnett squares for fun, and I’ve never seen another petsite with this much genetic experimentation power.  And the art is cute.

Just now I sorted some dogs by level, because I wanted to see who was getting high enough level for me to breed.  These are my highest-level Chihuahuas right now.

(side note: The three-letter code at the start of each name represents the dog’s current sports title.  Then for the actual name, I generally either use one that amuses me, or just go with the in-game randomizer.  There is one amusement name here and the rest are random.)

“Oh, but I’ve already bred Cody and Sophie,” I thought to myself.  “I’ll take a look at the others, see if it looks like their genetics line up nicely.

“Ha!  There’s a Buddy and a Holly.  Oh, and they actually would go pretty well together.  That would mean that, out of my basically-randomly-named Chihuahuas, the last potential breeding pair would be...

“.....,,.,.,,...,”

OH COME ON.  I can’t put those two together, everyone will assume the names were on purpose!!

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Neil,i know you have 120k asks, so you will never see this, but genuinely, how do i start writing? I know it probably sounds silly to you, but I am 15 and already feel behind. I want to be a writer, I have loved reading ever since I read Coraline at 9 and have always wanted to do something creative with my life and to be an author just feels so fitting for me,I just don't know how to do it I guess. I keep trying but it always turns out bad,I don't even know where to beigin and how to pace the story or do anything really.I write short fanfics sometimes and when i go back to read them they are just objectively bad. I know what I do and dont like in stories,I just can't seem to accomplish what I want when I try to write it. And I do have so many ideas, but it never goes anywhere, and I can't put the words on the page. I know improving takes time but I just wish I had some guidance on how to improve(English is my third language so I probably made mistakes, I apologize )

You sound a lot l would have done at the age of 15, had I been articulate enough to say anything like that. At the age of 15 all I knew was that I really wanted to be a writer and that I wanted to write and draw comics one day. I had some ideas that would turn out to be good ideas 15 years later or 25 years later but at that time they were just ideas and I didn't know how to make them into stories.

The most important thing you can do is to keep writing. The second most important thing you can do is to live and learn and experience the world and accumulate a store of things that you have to say and things that you need to write about.

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

Do you think there is a way to ethically watch Sandman and Good Omens? What about Dead Boy Detectives?

Andddd this was why I originally turned off anons. I knew this was coming eventually, but I guess I'll respond just this once so everyone knows where I stand.

I don't love that I feel the need to disclose this, but I have personally experienced grooming and sexual assault in the past. So this post is coming from someone who has Been There and understands the importance of supporting victims. I also love all of the efforts NG-related fandoms have been putting into raising money for sexual assault charities. It's wonderful to see people rallying behind the survivors and supporting them so vocally.

- DEAD BOY DETECTIVES: NOT A GAIMAN WORK

I do not think that there is a world where Dead Boy Detectives would be unethical to stream. It has virtually nothing to do with Neil Gaiman, by his own admission, and is the brain-child of Steve Yockey.

Besides the first chapter where Charles and Edwin were introduced (with no development), he didn't even write the comics! Several artists did, including Toby Litt and Mark Buckingham - whose run the show is based on and who the sprites are named after.

Yockey was the sole person to pitch DBDA to Warner Brothers. Gaiman did not do that.

Streaming Dead Boy Detectives primarily supports its writers, cast, and crew - Gaiman, who only wrote 2 scenes, is getting essentially nothing in terms of royalties.

Someone on Twitter did a really good job of unpacking why Dead Boy Detectives shouldn't be lumped in with Gaiman stuff - I'll link it here.

But this leads me to the next section.

- HANDLING GOOD OMENS AND SANDMAN

I think that there are a lot of valid reactions to the way people handle the consumption of Gaiman's shows after what he has done.

Some people are going to be unable to stomach anything he has written, and that is okay. Others whose lives have been massively impacted by his work aren't going to be able to let go since - and I know people like to deny this, but it's true - the art you love more than love itself is going to have a serious material impact on your personality.

Both of these approaches are alright! The only incorrect approach is to harass those who disagree with your personal choices.

It also is, in my opinion, Bad to give Gaiman money. Purchasing his books and buying Good Omens official merch puts cash in his pocket.

Streaming the shows, though, is a little more nuanced to me.

I'm going to use Good Omens as an example here. I personally will not be continuing with Good Omens. It gives me a Yucky Feeling. I may one day change my mind and stream a pirated version, but I don't think so.

However, I don't think Sheen and Tenant's fans are wrong to stream it in support of the actors who have brought their favourite characters to life.

But this leads me into my next point, and the point that will probably get me Canceled.

- THE IMPACT OF SHOWS ON PEOPLE

The way that people handle their favourite shows post-allegations is going to depend on the impact that the show had on their life.

I like Good Omens. It's a fun show. I enjoyed it while watching it, and think (see: thought) positively of it. But it had no real deep impact on my life - it's not part of me. When I look at Good Omens now, I see Gaiman's work above the finished product. It puts a sour taste in my mouth.

But in a hypothetical world, if Dead Boy Detectives were a Gaiman production? I have the self-awareness to know that I probably would still stream it to support the cast and crew. I am attached enough to it that I think I would divorce it entirely from Gaiman (if he were the creator, which he is not.) My point is that other people who are still streaming Sandman and GO probably don't look at it and see Gaiman. They see something that they have absorbed into themselves.

The part that's going to get me canceled is that if George cameos in Sandman, I will stream that one (1) episode to support George Rexstrew (Edwin Payne's actor). This is because Edwin has had a material impact on my life (hilariously, because I am a sexual violence survivor who did not get justice, and Edwin did not get justice for his murder and fights for that.) I feel that Edwin is part of me and my life, because Edwin (and George's work as Edwin) has made me feel less alone.

A lot of people feel that way about Crowley and Aziraphale.

I think that asking people to ditch a show, characters, and performers that have had a deep impact on their lives is unfair to them. Like, yes, Neil Gaiman is a bag of shit! Anyone who defends him is also a bag of shit! But I don't think that it's fair to stop people from supporting works that have had big material impacts on their own lives.

- HOW TO PROCEED

TL;DR

My personal ideal outcome here would be:

Wrap up Good Omens with the 90-minute movie and nothing else.

Wrap up Sandman with season 2, and do not renew.

Revive Dead Boy Detectives WITH THE CAVEAT that Gaiman gets his name removed from it, even if he currently isn't making much money off it. Take the Sandman characters and references from DBDA and let it become its own standalone thing.

Cancel all future Gaiman productions and never hire him to work on television or anything else again.

Let Gaiman's career die entirely and let him fade into obscurity.

Arrest Gaiman, which will never happen but it should.

I think people should:

Stop giving Neil Gaiman money through books or merch.

Make their own decisions about whether or not to officially stream the shows in support of the actors and crew members who have worked hard on it.

Not harass anyone for either their decision to stream the show, not stream the show, or stream a pirated version of the show.

Engage as much as they want with fandom and fanworks, as they are divorced from the source material's creator.

Vocally speak up against Neil Gaiman. Amplify the voices of the survivors, and don't let fear for the future of your show get in the way of that. At the end of the day, real women were put through the most traumatic and horrifying experience of their lives, and that's what matters most.

[ineffable-romantics]

Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

___________________________________

Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

[agoodflyting]

Good Omens Historical Trivia That's Haunting Me Today...

So we all know A.Z. Fell & Co is located on the fictitious Whickber Street in Soho and was established in 1800.

Aziraphale has run the shop ever since then and was in contact with Crowley at least until the 1820's when they took their little jaunt to Edinburgh and Crowley got sucked down the tube slide to Hell. They meet up again no later than the 1860's, when Crowley asks for Holy Water.

Stands to reason that between the 1820's and 1860's Aziraphale was in Soho doing Aziraphale things. Running his bookshop. Eating tiny cakes

Yeah... you know what else was going on in Soho during that time?

The worst cholera epidemic in London history.

If you don't know, cholera is a deadly bacterial infection caused by drinking contaminated water. Prior to the 1850's humans weren't really sure what caused cholera, but they knew it was terrifying and also that it was absolutely epidemic in big cities.

TW: this is gross - The main symptoms of cholera are agonizing stomach pain and non-stop watery diarrhea, eventually leading to the skin turning blue due to the thickening of blood from severe dehydration. Patients can lose more than 20% of their body weight in hours as they quite literally evacuate every drop of water in their bodies until they die of heart failure. - OK gross part over

Cholera symptoms show up as short as 5 hours after infection and could kill within as little as 12 hours. Cholera was especially terrifying because of how quickly and painfully it killed you, and because the patient maintained mental clarity up until the point of death. More than half of the people who contracted cholera died within a few days after consuming the bacteria-contaminated water.

And guess what water had cholera bacteria in it?

The public water pump on Broad Street in Soho in August of 1854

And this wasn't one of those epidemics that starts slowly and drags on. It hit like a bomb. It killed 600 Soho residents in ten days.

That's roughly 60 people a day in a 3-4 block area. Most of them died at home because the disease struck too quickly for them to to make it to a hospital. Survivors described hearses stacked with coffins 4-5 high going down the street nonstop all day long during the outbreak. Entire families were wiped out overnight.

What does that have to do with Good Omens?

Aziraphale's book shop was right in the epicenter of this outbreak.

Neil Gaiman has been pretty free about the fact that Whickber Street is a thinly veiled expy of the real Berwick Street in Soho.

This is a famous map showing the 1854 Soho Cholera epidemic. I highlighted Berwick Street and the public water pump that was the center of the contagion. The black bars (I circled a few in blue) on the map designate deaths. The thicker the black bar, the more people died in that particular house.

51 people died the week of the cholera outbreak on Aziraphale's Street alone.

Cholera was one of those diseases that provoked a lot of panic, not just because of how fast and painful it was, but because of the way it didn't follow common conventions about class or age. Children died while the elderly survived (often because the elderly had no one to gather water for them). Lower class houses were spared while their middle class landlords died. Churches were packed that week, because people in Soho had no idea who would get sick next. The epidemic pretty much burned itself out in a week and a half, since by that point everyone who drank the water had already died. I have to wonder what our resident Angel was up to during that time. Obviously cholera can't hurt him, but that's his neighborhood. There's no way hundreds of people, including entire families with children, are dying painfully in his neighborhood and Aziraphale doesn't notice. That means that in between this scene:

And this one:

Aziraphale would have watched one of the worst disease outbreaks in London history play out right outside his front door. I feel like there's great potential for a good story there if anyone better than me wants to write it.

[thoushaltnotlive]

*Post-canon, In some random vegas hotelroom at 4am*

Kevin slurring, still drunk AND hungover: Where the fuck were you?

Andrew and Neil, drunk, just stumbled in: We got married.

Kevin: Greeeat. Do you have some advil?

*Years later at an og foxes meet-up*

Dan: So, when are you guys planing on setteling down? Marrige, Kids, anything?

Others: *Discussing ect ect…*

Matt: And you Neilio, will you guys ever take the vowes?

Andrew, deadpan: We've been married for x years.

Aaron: What.

Nicky, very dramatically: My own cousin, how could you.

Allison, slammin at the table: Renee did you know about this?!

Renee: Don't look at me, this is news to me as well. Also Congratulations.

Neil: Thanks Renee :)

Allison: Don't you dare "Thanks" us. Were you going to tell no one?! Did you think you could take it to your grave?? What the fuck.

Neil, rolling his eyes: You never asked. Also we literally told Kevin the day of.

Aaron: What.

Kevin: Oh, I tought I hallucinated that, good to know I guess.

[inafieldofstarflowers]

Since my last aftg re-read I’ve been thinking a lot about Kevin Day, and specifically about whether the view we get of him through Neil’s eyes is accurate. Over the course of the series, Neil consistently fails to recognize subtext (relatable), particularly when it comes to emotions (i.e. Andrew being into him and Neil not picking up on it, Matt consistently trying to gently ask about his sexuality and Neil never really picking up on what he means, Neil being utterly confused about what the bets on him could be). Neil is, however, very open about and aware of his love for Exy: beyond being good at it or enjoying it, playing makes Neil feel human—it’s one of the first things we learn about him.

Since Kevin is also obsessed with Exy, this is the side of him that Neil sees most often. Almost all of their interactions are centered around Exy—even their conversations about the literal mafia are inextricable from the sport they play (thanks, Tetsuji), so it makes sense that, in book two, Neil is saying that “The only thing that mattered to Kevin was Exy,” especially when considering that both Andrew and Aaron make similar statements in some of their first interactions with Neil (“Where the court is, Kevin is. He can’t exist without it” and “Exy is the only thing he cares about,” respectively). Given Neil’s obsession with Kevin (the way he’s tracked his success and is fixated on his survival), it’s easy to forget that, at the beginning of the series, Neil doesn’t know Kevin. They played a game of Exy together once, years ago, and then didn’t meet again until Kevin came to recruit Neil for the Foxes. For years, all Kevin has been to Neil is a horrific memory and a set of Exy stats, so of course when they meet again in an environment centered around the sport, that obsession with the sport is all Neil sees. In many ways, I think Neil intertwines who Kevin is with who he is from the beginning: in the same breath as he’s saying Exy is “the only thing that made him feel real,” he’s stating that “Kevin was proof Neil was real.”

I don’t, however, think this is a complete view of Kevin. I think there are hints of this in the way that Andrew’s appraisal of Kevin differs from Neil’s and Aaron’s: not that Kevin only cares about Exy, but that he can’t exist without it—he’s tied to it. Andrew’s not making a sweeping claim about Kevin’s feelings so much as expressing his irritation with Kevin’s obsession with the sport, and he’s not wrong: Kevin is inextricably connected to Exy, not only because Tetsuji raised him to be the future of the sport alongside Riko, but because Exy is Kayleigh Day’s legacy, and so is Kevin’s life, and (at least in the eyes of the world) those two are never going to be fully separate. Even if they were, Kevin would choose Exy because he genuinely loves it (that much is evident in his dedication to practicing until he has his skills down just so, and in the choice of the Trojans, who rely on skill and teamwork and incredible understanding of the game to win, as his favorite team).

I think TSC in particular shines extra light on Kevin by giving us Jean’s view of him. Things as simply as his choice of major become much weightier—history is something Kevin is apparently so passionate about that he convinced Riko to study it with him and convinced Tetsuji to let them do it, even though Kevin’s literal purpose at the Nest was to be the best (or, I guess, second best) Exy player, and the stated purpose of the Ravens all sharing a major was because academics were seen as less important. Jean’s comment about how “Kevin saw nothing but the court, but Jean had stopped hoping for more than that years ago” initially seems to support Neil’s line of thought, but I think that’s a much more personal reflection from Jean, really, because the rest of Jean’s narration shows a much different version of Kevin than we see through Neil’s eyes. Even though Jean has more reason than maybe anyone to feel that Kevin cares only about Exy, given the way he left the Nest, Jean recognizes that this isn’t true. He trusts in Kevin’s care for him, trusts his judgment in sending him to the Trojans.

Kevin’s care for other people doesn’t often come through, and I think that’s a combination of the way that he is as a person and the way that he’s painted in Neil’s narration. He definitely has moments of being incredibly callous (e.g. when Seth dies and when Andrew is being taken off his meds), but he also does truly care about people. He cares about Andrew, even if his “make Andrew care about Exy so he has a will to live” strategy is deeply flawed. He cares about Jean, evidenced by the magnets and postcards he would give him ad the work he put into setting things up so Jean could be on a team where he was safe even giving up some of his own secrets in the process. he cares about Neil, who he encourages to run (even though that would destroy the Foxes’ season) and tries to stop from going to Evermore at Christmas and trains every night by request, even though they both think Neil will die, and stands up to Riko for.

More than anything, I think the biggest evidence that Kevin cares about more than Exy is the faith that he has in people, time and time again, because that faith is in such contrast to his standard disdain for people. He has faith in Wymack taking him in (Jean says that he never doubted it), faith that Andrew will protect him at the Foxhole Court, faith that Jean will help Neil at Evermore, faith that Neil has a bright future. After a childhood spent mired in, at the very least, intense emotional abuse, it’s honestly amazing that he’s able to move forward with that sort of trust in people.

All that to say: I think there’s a lot more to Kevin than we see, and I especially think there’s a lot more to him than Exy. What’s his favorite period of history to study? Did he spend a lot of time picking out the magnets for Jean on his trips? When did he start drinking to try to stop his emotions (something that Neil never deeply addresses but which is a whole different post because this is already FAR too long)? What did he think when he first found out Wymack was his father? When he re-read Kayleigh’s letter over and over again, was it because he was reveling in knowing who his father was or because it was a tangible piece of the mother that he’d lost? Was he even worse about critiquing Andrew & Nicky et al. about their food choices when he first arrived at PSU because of the Ravens’ diet thing? I need to know everything about him that isn’t his love for Exy.