#gonna start posting fucking nonsense soon probably

[dogmaz]

Idea/concept collages for ref sheets I'm making.

[asvtrials]

Hate that I want you

Hate that i want you      masterlist

part one      next part idea: @floydsfae tags: @ilovejeansosomuch. @spikedfearn (inspired by) summary: Parting ways with a friend group was always hard, somehow trying to rejoin that group was even harder. Especially when a particular quick-tempered someone is rather bitter about your choices. warnings/tags: lots of swearing. friends to enemies to lovers. Bjorn is a bitter and jealous shit. angst a/n: I'm not very familiar with the Alien franchise so forgive me if there are any inaccuracies. This is my first Tumblr post and I'm not used to writing in the second-person narrative so sadly this is not my best work but I still hope you like it. English is not my first language so please be nice. word count: 2394

“Fuck no.” That was your only answer before you covered yourself with your blanket and sank even deeper into your messy bed.

“Come on, Y/n!.” The muffled voice of your friend, Kay reached your ears under the blanket before she started to pull it away from you.

“Leave me alone.” You whined while trying to hold onto the covers until eventually Kay gave up

She sighed and sat next to you on the bed. “This is gonna be good for us.” She tried to reason. “You think that idiot was your way out? This is the way out.! She shook you a bit under the covers to make sure you were actually listening.

You rolled over, unsure if she actually believed in this nonsense or was that desperate to leave Jackson’s Star. You wouldn’t blame her if she was.

You stared at her for a long moment, brows furrowed. “Who had this idea in the first place?” You asked, surprised that anyone would think this would work.

“Tyler and Navarro. They said they pick-”

“Tyler and Navarro? Damn, they are really getting desperate.” You cut her off with a scoff.

“So, are you,” Kay added.

You couldn’t deny it.

You were tired. Tired of living the same day over and over again. Wake up at 6 am to the same darkness that followed you the entire day, get ready by 6:30 am, and begin your walk to the bus station to take the overcrowded bus that drove all of the workers to the mines.

Thankfully you were able to be transferred to the kitchen, away from the cramped caves. And as sad as it sounded, that was the only good thing that happened to you in a while.

You didn’t know if it was that or the resentful feeling of your fresh breakup but you let Kay pull you out of your bed and push you into the shower. You just knew you wanted to change this overwhelming routine of the past two months.

As soon as you got dressed, the girl led you through the busy, dimply-lit streets and toward an alleyway where the rest of the crew would wait for you.

You didn't know how to feel about this reunion. You haven't really seen them in a while, spending most of your time with your now ex-boyfriend. You were surprised they even included you in this ‘mission’. You figured it was probably Kay and Tyler, possibly Navarro too.

You turned around and were greeted by the figures of your old friends, Tyler and Bjorn.

When they met your nervous stare, you noticed Tyler’s expression mirrored yours even if it was for a split second. He quickly concealed his uncertainty with a smile that reached his eyes.

“Hey, Y/n. How have you been?” Tyler chuckled and pulled you into a hug, startling you a bit but soon enough you returned the affection

“Fine, I guess—” You began but before you could continue a different voice echoed in the empty alleyway, accent thick and tone dripping with accusation.

“We weren’t sure if you'd bless us with your ladyship.”

Of course, it was no other than Bjorn who would make a comment like this. He earned a glare from Tyler but he just shrugged s as if he was just making conversation.

An annoyed smile tugged at your lips as you spoke “Seems like you didn't change. Like at all.”

Bjorn ignored your comment and turned to Kay. “If she's all caught up, we should go.”

You raised your eyebrow at the way he brushed you off but you decided to let it go. “What about Navarro, Rain, and Andy?” You asked.

“Navarro’s fixing some other parts of the ship and Rain is—” Tyler paused for a moment, sending a glance at his half-sister. You followed his eyes but Kay just smiled at you “Busy with her job,” Tyler ended up saying.

“Is Rain all right?” You asked, chuckling a bit at their failed attempt to cover the truth.

“You���d know if you weren’t too busy snogging your boyfriend every chance you got,” Bjorn remarked with a smug smirk. You could feel your blood boiling at the mention of your ex.

“Bjorn! We talked about this.” Tyler warned the boy but he just scoffed.

“What? She was gone for two months and now acts all worried! That’s a load of bollocks!” He argued, gesturing towards you with a huff.

“Oh, fuck off, Bjorn!” You raised your voice over Tyler who was about to cuss his cousin out. This was already hard enough but having Bjorn act like a massive asshole wasn’t something you were going to sit through.

You did abandon them. You were a bitch, and a bad friend, and whatever this asshat wanted to call you but you didn’t need to hear it, especially from Bjorn out of all people.

You just wanted to have a better life, at least as good as it could get in this shitty colony. A future to look forward to and Noa made it look possible. He had ambition and connections and could easily get a better job than most of the Jackson Star residents. At the time you were stupid enough to believe that he wouldn’t drop you. Yet, as soon as he bagged a job in the ‘Office of Colony Affairs’ he dumped you because, in his words, you had ‘different life goals.’

Fuck. And fuck him, and Bjorn and whoever dared to call you a whore or an opportunist. All of you had the same life goals, get the fuck out of here. That’s why you were here. As crazy as this plan sounded, at least you would be doing something to get away from this place.

“I’m not going to apologize for wanting something better for myself!” You snapped.

Bjorn ran his tongue over his teeth, letting out a low chuckle to hide his irritation “So you dropped everyone to get that.” He stated before he met your eyes once more. You didn’t know what you saw in his gaze but it wasn’t simply anger.

“I didn’t drop any of you!” You began, throwing your hands in frustration. “I kept in touch with Kay and Navarro. I asked about all of you! If you weren’t such a dick you’d realize that you made it difficult to talk to you!”

Bjorn remained quiet as if he was trying to come up with a comeback. He tore his gaze away from you when he turned around and mumbled “Whatever.”

“We should really get going now,” Kay spoke nervously, more to Tyler than anyone else.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Tyler agreed noticeably glad that the fight would come to an end, for now at least.

You sent Bjorn one last glare before following Kay and Tyler, but he didn't look all that affected.

The walk to the abandoned warehouse was rather long. A couple of years ago it was busy with workers and clients, mostly to buy components for mining haulers and gear. But right now it was collecting dust and vines so it was the perfect place to get some forgotten parts and tools.

Tyler helped Kay jump over the tall fence while you and Bjorn were already on the other side. You smiled at the sweet moment between the siblings trying to ignore the panging feeling in your chest.

You tried to ignore the intense need you had to glance at the boy next to you but you couldn’t help it. His gaze was fixated on the tall building, holding the cigarette between his fingers. You tried to push away the bitter feeling that cursed through you.

It wasn’t that long ago that he helped you the same way, finding any excuse to feel your skin under his fingertips.

But that was just a childish game you two developed. Flirting jokingly, touching a bit more than necessary to see the other’s cheeks redden and hear your friends groan in disgust. Both of you comfortably balanced on the rope between friendly banter and romantic curiosity.

When both Kay and Tyler landed on the other side of the fence, you began walking toward the building.

You stepped inside and an aerie breeze hit you, from the way Kay started to rub her shoulders you guessed the rest felt the same.

“Bloody hell…” Bjorn mumbled as he walked to the front desk which was covered in dust and some dead bugs.

“Yeah, that’s nasty.” Kay agreed, keeping close to you and Tyler.

“I’ll go check the first floor, someone should check the second,” Tyler announced the plan, staring at the sketch of the parts Novarro drew him.

The group was surrounded by silence, the four of you looking at each other awkwardly until Kay decided to make it easier for all of you. “I can go with Bjorn.” She said cheerily trying to ignore the tension.

“Good, Y/n we’ll go together” Tyler nodded toward you and started walking up the stairs.

Bjorn's loud voice stopped both of you in your tracks. Bjorn tried to sound uninterested even amused as he spoke “I see, you act all tough yet can’t even spend five minutes alone with me. Scared I’ll hurt your feelings, innit?” The way those last words fell out of his lips in such a pitying manner really struck a nerve.

You knew what he was doing. He was baiting you. You saw him do it to everyone, although you weren’t sure if Andy even could understand that he did it just to annoy him.

Still, you weren’t one to give him the satisfaction. You let out a dry chuckle as you rolled your eyes. “Bjorn and I are going to check the second floor” You declared, not bothering to turn around.

“I can go with Y/n?” Kay tried to intervene but neither you nor Bjorn listened as you walked up the stairs.

“Remember, in and out! Be quick.” You heard Tyler’s voice bounce off the walls as you continue your path to the second floor, Bjorn hot in your trail.

You entered a room as soon as you reached the second floor. By the numerous boxes and shelves filled with dirty items, this was clearly one of the storage rooms

“You search the right side, I'll search the left side,” You said when you noticed Bjorn still walking behind you.

“Don’t tell me what to do” He quickly retorted.

You let out an exasperated sigh and walked to the right side instead, ignoring his snarkiness.

Neither of you talked for a long while, putting equipment that seemed useful in your bags or simply looking through the dusty machinery.

Bjorn was the first to break the uncomfortable silence “So how are things with your boyfriend.” You didn’t miss the way his tone changed to a mocking one at the word ‘boyfriend’ but you chose to ignore it.

You stayed quiet for a moment, not sure if you wanted to answer. “We don’t have to talk.”

“Come on, I’m trying to be nice.” He spoke over the loud noise of his hand rummaging through some drawers and you could practically hear his smirk.

A groan managed to slip past your lips before you said “We broke up.”

You heard Bjorn’s movements come to a halt momentarily followed by a breathy laugh. “Can’t say I'm surprised you dumped that twat.”

You remained silent once again only saying a drawn-out “Yeah”

“Wait a fucking minute.” Bjorn laughed, walking closer to you, a smug smirk spreading on his face “He dumped you!”

The amusement in his voice made your anger flare up once again causing your face to contort in irritation but you tried to ignore it and just get the job done, practically slamming the drawer shut.

“Why did he dump you? Did he find someone that matched his status? He did get promoted to a whole-ass desk job” He snorted.

You tried to be calm, you really did but all of it was so recent “Can you just shut the fuck up for once in your life?” You exploded, making his eyes leave the shelves and focus on you. “Is it really so funny that I was dumped?”

Bjorn stared at you for a long moment, before turning to continue searching. Obviously not without a sarcastic comment. “It’s funny that he dumped you but sorry, didn’t know you were so in love.”

You closed your eyes and exhaled through your nose to try and keep your cool. “As if you know what love is?” You tried to keep your voice from shaking with anger.

Bjorn met your scowl once again but to your surprise, his expression didn’t match yours. Unlike yours, his eyes didn’t hold any rage but something that made you unable to look away as he moved closer to you, looming above you.

“I know you two weren’t.” The low tone in his voice had you breathless for a moment.

Does it even matter if you loved Noa? Falling in love was never the point.

“You don’t know anything” You spat out, your voice as intense.

He raised his eyebrow at your words, staring down into your eyes “Really?” He dragged out the word. “You were in love with that asshat? You really want me to believe that?”

“I don’t care what you believe, that’s none of your fucking business.” You bit back, taking a step closer. You wanted to remain unbothered by how the corner plush lips tugged up but the warmth that spread through your cheeks was impossible to ignore.

“You’re not answering my question.” The almost gentleness in his voice quickly disappeared as he laughed, his breath hitting your face. His fingers slowly reached up to flick a strand of your hair mockingly.

You were about to slap away his hand when you heard Kay’s voice from the corridor.

“Guys, where are you?” She shouted.

“Uh—we’re here Kay” You yelled back, stepping back from Bjorn. You really didn’t notice how close you two were standing.

Soon enough Kay’s figure appeared in the doorframe.

“Glad to see you didn’t kill each other” She joked. “We found the thing Navarro needed, we can go.” She announced.

You hated how your eyes met Bjorn’s even if it was for a second, and you hated the feeling that erupted in your stomach even more.

[osaemu]

・𖠗 EMAILS I CAN'T SEND EVENT !

with songs featuring gojo, geto, dazai, chuuya, and childe !

BEFORE YOU LISTEN . . .

careful, there's gonna be some pretty mature themes headin' in . . . sex, cheating, overthinking, y'know, the usual. it's hard being hot !

WHAT'S THE ALBUM ABOUT ?

well, i heard some guys from jujutsu kaisen, bungo stray dogs, and genshin impact are involved in the drama, maybe you know them !

TRACK 9: NONSENSE "baby i'm in too deep, here's a lil' song i wrote, it's about you and me"

꒰ pop star!reader x secret lover!gojo

being a pop star is tough, and maintaining a relationship alongside it is even harder. good thing you have a boyfriend to share the nights with, but what happens when those night-time specials start seeping into your daytime routine?

TRACK 10: FAST TIMES "tiptoeing past so many stages, but what the fuck is patience?"

꒰ coworkers with benefits ft. pm boss!chuuya

being a mafia boss is hard, and the stress that comes with it could kill. so, your boss's solution is to take it out on his pretty little secretary — you. one thing leads to another, and soon it becomes a regular thing. it's okay, it's not like he's gonna fuck you during work hours, right?

TRACK 11: SKINNY DIPPING "if we could take it all off and just exist, and skinny dip in water under the bridge"

꒰ break up –> make up ft. criminal!geto

when you found out he wasn't who he said he was, you dumped him on the spot, and after that you didn't see him for nineteen days. so what happens on the twentieth day when you run into him at your local coffee shop, and how did it end with his dick in your mouth?

TRACK 13: DECODE "you're good at impersonating someone who cares, and you had me for a minute there"

꒰ actor!reader x actor!dazai

your co-star is known for his acting prowess, and maybe he's just a little too good, because even when the lights are down and no cameras in sight, you can never seem to figure out if he means what he says. even when he's drunk in your sheets, every word seems carefully calculated to get something out of you — who knows what he wants?

TRACK 15: FEATHER "your signals are mixed, you act like a bitch, you fit every stereotype, send a pic"

꒰ it girl!reader x fuckboy!gojo

you're everything, and he's just another fuckboy. but even though he's the biggest dickhead you've ever met, you can't deny that he's very, very attractive. so what happens when you have one too many drinks and end up moaning his name all night long?

TRACK 16: LONESOME "did you think about her face with your hands around my waist? did you even give a fuck?"

꒰ exes with benefits ft. fuckboy!childe

you probably shouldn't still sleep with the boy who ruined your life, but hey, he's the only one who knows how to fuck you just right. even if he made you cry for a week straight, you'd rather be crying out his name than wallowing in self-pity at home. and it's not like you're gonna get back together with him, are you?

TRACK 17: THINGS I WISH YOU SAID "i saw you met somebody and i'm jealous as hell, that i can't even stomach loving somebody else"

꒰ cheating ft. ex boyfriend!dazai

maybe it's wrong to cheat on your current boyfriend with your ex, but you never moved on and apparently, neither did he. and shit, he's just as skillful with his words as ever, so just one night wouldn't hurt, right?

SO, WHEN CAN I HEAR THE STORIES ?

well, hannah'll tell you whenever she feels like it, but who knows what order she's whisper them to you in ? it'll be a surprise ~

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN THE STORY'S OUT ?

there's no taglist or anythin', but you can check back here to see if anything's leaked yet ! ++ maybe follow hannah and her tag, 'cause she said she'll post updates there . . . #✧ — emails i can't send

have fun listening! reblogs very appreciated xoxo –> signed, hannah

[wordslikesilver]

Seeing the discourse lately on transmisogyny and coming across new terms like tme and tma being used more than I think I’ve ever seen before because of everything going on had me uneasy, not gonna lie, I always do when I find new terminology from the alphabet mafia because I’m thinking to myself oh boy, more stuff to explain to cis people. Looked into it, it all seems pretty reasonable to me tho for including nonbinary femmes and femme intersex people I’ve sorta just always by default assumed “Trans Femme” was really good given the whole “it’s a spectrum and transmisogyny by definition is talking about the people on the femme side of it who didn’t start there” so admittedly I’ll probably be a grump about changing my vocab soon.

But then I see some new shit in the wake of all this TERF nonsense and bigotry being used against trans women? Detransitioned cis women calling themselves trans women and saying WE don’t understand the concept of gender well? The audacity? Look, changing the labels of a community to be less offensive is something I support so loudly and love and adore. This isn’t that. This is people encroaching on our pride and our identities and pretending the flag we nobly fly, the icon of bravery and unifying love in the face of oppression that it is, isn’t clearly “ours” enough. That it’s something they’re allowed to say belongs to them too so we need to come up with something new to call ourselves when we discuss the pain we face in our lives. Erasing and rewording the definitions of who we are til our identity is gone altogether. Moving the goal posts and telling us to teach everyone a whole new set of labels when the average layman still doesn’t even know that “Cis” isn’t a fucking slur, let alone what it means. Never forget that at your core when you fight against this new bigotry and they try to dance circles around you with their words and misdirect the conversation to stupid shit. Alienation from an already unified identity is a classic means of making it so much fucking harder for the oppressed to have their pleas for basic rights be acknowledged. Never let your people’s pain be silenced by someone pretending to they’re too stupid to know who you’re talking about.

To the TERFs and bigots who find this, and I fucking hope you find this, Trans Woman is not yours to fucking claim just because “gender is a construct and complicated” you will NEVER know the pain people like me have been through. I refuse to acknowledge a claim on my people’s identity because someone managed to misunderstand a concept hard enough and it’s now snowballed into a new form of complicating discussions of deserving basic and equal rights. I have felt the pains a cis woman has felt, I have felt sexist and awful treatment from men, I have been catcalled, I have been stalked, I have been made unsafe, I have been expected to be a mother for no other reason than “all women want them one day” and I have been assumed to be less than a man for some imagined frailty of the fairer sex. I am a woman. We can share that label, I WANT to share that label. We can bond over sapphic love and feminine experiences and hardships we both suffer under a cruel patriarchy. In just the same way, I have never known the pain of period cramps. I don’t have a vagina. I will never have a pregnancy scare and I will never feel the side effects of birth control. I wasn’t catcalled by gross men walking home when I was in high school. I was never sexualized by the media when I was in middle school the way cis girls would see happen to them. I am NOT a cis woman and I will never be one. I grew up as a boy, I lived and I loved as a young man, I saw the world through masculine eyes and was raised being treated as one, I will never pretend I know what it’s like to be a young girl being preyed upon and used by an older man. I will never touch that label because it’s simply not correct at the most fundamental level. I am a trans woman and that made me who I am. After all the people I’ve met and all the experiences I’ve shared, it took time to be so proud of calling myself a trans woman. Holding up the sky would’ve taken less strength of the heart, but now I feel the deepest pride knowing I’ve done something inconceivably harder.

But you, you people cannot take that from me and my sisters. I draw the fucking line at saying you think you have the slightest notion of what it’s like to be transfeminine. To be born in a body that makes people see you as a man from the very first glance, to hear you wrong from the first whisper of your voice. To spend the rest of your life working tirelessly in a fight against your own biology and/or the perception of the entire world whenever it casts its ugly eye upon you. Some of us don’t even have the privilege of fighting those perceptions or the things or own bodies have been programmed to force on us. Some of us don’t even want to have to do anything about how we look because it’s bullshit to have to fight for that basic respect from our peers in the first place and their standards just don’t align with who we are deep down in the first place! Gender is complicated but this isn’t. Have you EVER held your breath in the women’s public washroom and tucked your feet in because you were scared you’d make other women uncomfortable, because you’re not sure if you’re in an accepting space? FEARED what might happen if you step into the women’s change room to put on a bathing suit or your work clothes? Have you EVER been threatened with physical violence and called slurs in front of your own mother on public transit? Have you ever had to tell your doctor you’re ready to drop out of school to show how “sure” (re: fucking desperate) you are to be prescribed HRT? Sure, lots of cis women are on HRT, I treat them as patients all the time. Have you ever had a hot flash at the age of 21 because you were late on your injection? Did you pierce your skin with thin metal once a week for years and years to get the breasts you have? Did your body do irreparable things to your bones and your voice that make it so no one will ever see you as a woman at first glance without thousands of hours of effort, of tears, of sheer fucking focus and fixation on achieving the ideal self you see in your mind and dream of being one day? DID YOU HAVE TO BEG YOUR GOVERNMENT TO LET YOU HAVE THE BODY YOU LITERALLY ALREADY HAD AT BIRTH OR DID THEY NEVER EVEN SO MUCH AS TRY TO GET IN THE WAY OF JUST BEING CALLED MISS ON YOUR GOD DAMN LICENSE? Cis women can’t even begin to imagine the feelings I have felt, building my wings of feather and bones and wax, day after day, dreaming of flying beside my sisters who were born with wings they’ll never fear will melt, all the while remembering the last time someone born in a body like mine flew too close to the sun. Maybe they’ll perhaps know what it’s like to bind them to their back and hide them beneath their shirt, maybe they’ll even have sheered and ripped the bones from their sockets and one day wish they could have them back and sing with the rest of the angels like they used to, but they will NEVER fly on wings like mine, fear the heat from the light that makes life worth living the way I do, fear the same slings and arrows screaming up through the air from down below and even at times from above my head to let me know loud and clear they wanna knock me outta this sky, this sky that’s so beautiful and holy I cry when I touch it, the very first chance they get.

Transphobia won’t ever take the sky from me. My Icarian Wings are made on the foundation of generation after generation of my people who dreamed and yearned to touch the sunlight blue skies and the infinite glittering nights, each of us telling each other, telling ourselves we’ll never fear the light again one day, lifting each other when we fall, soaring higher each time than the ones whose wax melted before we could save them could, warmly teaching each other how to fix our broken wings and freely gifting each other the love it takes to make them stronger for the next flight. Holding each others hands as we dance and show each other how to fly, hand in hand and heart in heart with the angels who call us sister angels. A cis woman having the audacity to flap her never melting wings and saying hers are just like mine, that the name of my people is just a construct so she can say she she’s just like Icarus too, makes me wanna vomit. Pretending she knows what it’s like to watch in terror as all the feathers fall out suddenly in a moment of weakness making her break her bones upon the rocks, listening to everyone around her say “I knew it, I knew his wings were fake, look at him crawl along the ground in the dirt and the mud where he belongs.” Pretending that if two people both have skin, even of a different colour, that since the labels are made up, the sun and society itself will surely treat them the same if the white one calls themselves black.

Transphobia won’t ever take the sky from me. Come and fucking try to take these wings from me and see what happens.

[arokel]

please I need your all the presidents men wips I need them even if they aren’t finished. Think of the children

ask and ye shall receive :>

i'm usually very secretive about my wips BUT i will lower the veil of secrecy for a bit in the service of the children. looooong post under the cut!

wip 1 (with the creative working title of "sloan's wife")

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you,” Bob said emphatically. His own beer had been knocked over by a particularly vehement sweep of the arm a while ago and he had been stealing sips of Carl’s ever since. “What’s Sloan gonna say when we ask to put his name on a story that’s just about how pretty his wife is?”

“He’ll say I’m right, she is very pretty, and everyone who buys the book should know it.”

Bob snorted, hiding his smile behind the page of praises to Sloan’s admittedly lovely wife. Stupid, drunken arguments with Carl were always more fun when Carl played along. “He’ll probably just be thankful you didn’t write about how pretty he is. The biggest miracle of Watergate is that he never said anything about you staring at him all the time.”

“Nonsense,” Carl said, tapping his beer against Bob’s lips through the paper. Bob obligingly lowered it and opened his mouth to let Carl pour several drops onto his tongue with drunken precision. “I’ve only got eyes for you.”

“Aw, shucks, don’t say that. You’ll make me blush.”

Carl shrugged. “Alright, I won’t.”

The words brought Bob up short. Despite Carl’s careful pouring, a few drops had landed on his chin. He wiped them off with the back of his hand and studied Carl’s easy, open expression. Not teasing. Not a joke.

“Don’t say that now,” Bob clarified, a distinction that made perfect sense to him in the moment but probably wouldn’t hold up under sober examination. “Let me think about it.”

“Alright. Tell me what’s so wrong about calling Deborah pretty again,” Carl said, with a smile and another shrug, as if he hadn’t just changed everything between them.

wip 2 aka chapter 3 of Not all things forever are hidden

Everything since the break-in had been such a whirlwind that Bob hadn’t even noticed the time passing until Mel, shrugging off his coat in Bob’s front hallway, had asked, “so who’s this Carl Bernstein guy you’re replacing me with?”

“Not a replacement,” Bob had said, laughing, “a colleague.” But it had felt wrong, and he had changed the subject quickly. He hadn’t wanted to talk about Carl with Mel.

Mel heaved himself off of Bob’s chest with a groan and began to gather his scattered clothing. Bob watched him, sleepy-eyed, and forced the words please stay down his throat until they stopped coming back up and instead sat queasily just below his breastbone. It wasn’t Mel’s company that he wanted, just someone’s. Just not to be alone.

“Well,” Mel said, lingering with his hand on the doorknob. “See ya next time. Tell Carl Bernstein hi for me.”

“I will,” Bob said, unthinkingly. He wouldn’t.

Carl was out of town, anyway. That was why Bob had taken the night off in the first place, and why he hadn’t just called up Carl to come over and go over leads again when he felt the loneliness starting to creep in at the edges of his vision. That was why he didn’t want Mel to leave.

wip 3 which is. just filth

“I can do better,” Carl says opaquely, hoisting his bag over his shoulder. “Yours or mine?”

Bob knows what he’s really saying. “Stop off at yours first? Most of your notes are still at mine.”

They don’t fuck at Carl’s place, for the simple reason that Carl’s walls are thinner. Watergate has turned them both into cautious people, people who speak in code. Grab a change of clothes, Bob is saying, and spend the night with me.

“Sounds good. Want to stop for something on the way?” Carl says with a shrug, as if he’s read nothing into Bob’s words beyond the surface.

“I’m not very hungry,” Bob says. I can’t wait, he means. I want you as soon as I can have you.

Carl’s grin is sharp. “Me neither.”

Carl lets his hand rest just behind the gearshift the whole drive back to his place and then to Bob’s, the tips of his fingers brushing continuously against Bob’s thigh as if by accident. Bob stays in the car while Carl grabs a briefcase secretly carrying an extra set of clothes, too turned on to follow without embarrassing himself.

He holds it together until they’re safely inside his own apartment with the door locked behind them, and then he shoves Carl against the wall beside it, panting frustrated breaths against Carl’s neck as Carl laughs.

“You’re a goddamn terrible driver, you know that?”

“You were distracting me,” Bob growls, betraying his own anger by nosing Carl’s shirt collar aside to press a wet, openmouthed kiss against his collarbone. He’s not angry, per se, but there is an energy fizzing beneath his skin, a restlessness seeking an outlet. “Stroking my thigh and moaning the whole time - “

“I was humming along to the radio.”

Bob lifts his head to glare. “No one hums like that.”

Carl hums again - moans; really, no one hums like that outside of sex - and pulls Bob in, finally, to kiss him, deep and wet, fucking his tongue into Bob’s mouth, and even though he has Carl backed against a wall, suddenly Bob is the one who feels trapped.

wip 4 aka cuddling for warmth

“Hey, I just finished for the night, are you busy? I have something - maybe big, maybe nothing, but I want to talk it out before I sleep on it. Can I swing by?”

“Don’t worry, I canceled all my plans already since I figured you were going to call. I sensed it,” Carl said, affecting a tone Bob could only describe as mystical. “Come on over, I’ll make coffee. But dress warm.”

“Very funny. See you in a few.”

Carl’s apartment, while just as sad and cluttered as Bob’s, had two radiators, and Carl kept them both on full blast at all times in the winter. “Come on,” he would say, whenever Bob chided him about the waste of energy, “do you really think they turned down the heat in the White House? I bet it’s like a sauna in there,” and Bob hadn’t yet found a good comeback. At least when Johnson had turned the lights out you could see it.

But in that moment Carl’s energy inefficiency was exactly what Bob wanted, and so he was both startled and disappointed by the chill that greeted him when Carl opened the door and stepped back to let Bob inside, bundled in a quilt and looking miserable.

Bob stepped over the trailing edge of the quilt and, shivering, listened for the familiar clicking of the radiators. They were silent.

“Jesus Christ,” he said. “You know Nixon said sixty-eight degrees, not off.”

“Heat’s out in the whole building,” Carl said. “I think they let Liddy out of prison so he could take a sledgehammer to the furnace to spite me personally.”

“Somebody smashed up the furnace?”

“Well, probably not. But if anyone did my money’d be on Liddy.”

[princess-of-the-corner]

Okay fuck it. The Discord has helped me make a new AU.

BNHA!Pokemon but this time it's Mystery Dungeon! So they're actual Pokemon instead of just trainers with Pokemon.

It actually works really well because like. Heroes = Explorers. Hero Agencies = Guilds. So on and so forth. UA is basically a training Guild for new Explorers to learn the ropes.

Uh. So who is what Pokemon? Fuck we're gonna get complicated.

One thing of note is that all the kids are first stage Evolutions because ya know. Baby. They're probably going to evolve over the course of the series but I'll list where they start

Izuku - combining the original pokemon au's thing of Izuku not realizing what Legendaries are and the monster au's Changeling thing. Izuku is a Mew that thinks he's a Shaymin. Kind of a 'Mewthree' actually? Long story we'll come back to it.

Katsuki - Riolu (it evolves with FRIENDSHIP just fuckin kill me!)

Ochako - Cleffa! Cute round pink motherfucker from space!

Kirishima - Sandshrew (technically ground not rock but I have a reason and it's a VIBE)

Kaminari - Pichu(BABY PLEASE)

Jiro - Noibat

Tsu - Froakie

Aoyama - Staryu

Fumikage - Murkrow

Hagakure - Kecleon

Sero - Spinark

Ojiro - Aipom

Sato - Milcrey (but like. Big.)

Momo - Eevee(unsure on later Eeveelution)

Himiko - Zorua

Mei - Tinkaton

Tetsutetsu - Alolan Sandshrew(matches with Kiri because siblings but steel type!)

Monoma - Smeargle

All Might - Palafin (Come on it's PERFECT)

Recovery Girl - Blissey

Present Mic - Chatot (LOOK I CAN'T NOT)

Nezu - Ironically, he's the random Human who got yeeted into this mess

Midnight - Slazzle

Cemetoss - Conkeldurr

Power Loader - Exadrill

-

Before we circle back to Izuku's nonsense let's talk about the Todoroki Family!

Enji is an Incineroar! Rei is an Alolan Ninetails!

Toya is a Kantonian Ninetails but he got the Alolan's Snow Cloak ability.

Natsuo is the opposite, being Alolan but with Flash Fire.

Fuyumi is full Alola

Shoto is still a chimera so both Kanto and Alola.

-

Now we circle back to Izuku's fuckery!

So like. We're kinda rolling with the fact that the Mystery Dungeon games happen post-Human Apocalypse? (possibly using the events of Detective Pikachu as how that happened?)

Which leads to having AfO being a very old and VERY pissed off Mewtwo.

Part of what he was doing was kind of a cycle of bullshit that involved trying to recreate himself/recreate the original Mew. Which resulted in Izuku being made.

Izuku is unaware of this, as he escaped pretty soon after waking up(probs teleported his ass out lmao). He's lost and confused and his instincts have him use Transform to turn into the nearest other Pokemon, which happens to be Inko who is a Shaymin. Inko thinks she just happened across an abandoned hatchling and goes 'well my baby now!'.

There really isn't a direct translation for being Quirkless with Izuku. I think the best thing would be that since he's not actually a Shaymin and isn't aware he can use transform, Gracidea Flowers have no affect on him. So he gets a bit othered for being a little fucky in that regard. But it's not quite the same.

[uglyduckling339]

KY'S LIFE IS STRANGE DOUBLE EXPOSURE NONSENSE LIVEBLOG: Chapter 1

(spoilers obvi) (these will only make sense if u watched or played the game and even then it may be shakey lmao)

tutorial

(edit lmfao i forgot to post this on wednesday, its been sitting in my drafts so thats y some of the comments sound weird)

chat i fear this was such a bad playthrough on my behalf...

LOVE LOVE LOVE max having trauma. i want to see her suffer in this game

LIS2 PHOTO !!!!

something i havent seen alot of people mention is the fact that bc they have a diff pose, it's likely that they took a bunch (or at least 2) selfies and gave one to david then kept the other. (also means rhat chloe could have a version of this pic as well !!!!)

pricefield travelling bc they couldn't js settle down </3 (somebody remind me and i'll do my pricefield analysis btw)

depending on the outfit you pick, max can have pink tips !!!! #canonpinkhair

JOURNAL .

OH MY GOD SHES WRITING TO CHLOE.

stop okay i love this new journal. the idea that post storm she got a whole new one; max dissociating after the storm (she says the days blurred n stuff), max always being "stuck in the past", chloe never looking at her the same after she learned abt joyce, so much angst oml

"she left me" oh my god

okay i need to move on from the journal lmfao

ngl i actually love amanda as a friend. she fr brought max food and noticed rhat taking pictures helps her cope best

okayyy reggie is my new fav side character. he's such a cutie pootie fr

ew it's fake rachel amber

VINH?? THE VINH??

TAKE THAT BIPHOBIC MAX "FANS"

vinh and max have chemistry better then her and Amanda i fear

LMFAOO?? WHY DOES MAX HAVE THE REPUATION OF A LOCK-PICK?? WHAT DID SHE DO BRUH💀😭

i need gwen so badly tbh. i'm like 80% sure shes not evil and she's rhe david madsen of this game

actually ykw i need ALL of yall. this whole game is full of baddies

i love the accent that safi and her mom have.

that suicide question is fucking stupid bc?? the game is about solving a murder?? who would pick the probably option thats crazy (girl who picked the probably option)

i'm ngl from this point onward i started lowkey speedrunning the game and thats when i fucked up so i'm gonna replay soon and slow tf down😭😭

LORETTA WHEN I CATCH YOU LORETTA.

LET ME GET HER. LEMME AT HER.

im gonna beat this bitches ass oh my god

GWEN NO CUM BACK- I MEAN CUM- I MEAN CU-

shit i think gwen's rhe one i need to actually like me but like😭 im so bad without rewind

i love moses but blud is yappin too much tbh

yes king i miss her too. yes king men can cry too. yes king you can grieve. now give me magic

bye why is loretta theatening max.

max is SO unbothered by that threat💀 shes like "i rewound time to save my ex-gf from being shot and the kid who shot her continued to harass me for the rest of rhe week until my professor murdered him (and kidnapped me and killed my ex gf), this is so NOT a big deal"

chat so i MAY have gotten scared after gwen and avoided beefing with lucas. another mistake to fix next gameplay ig

yay magic

i miss using L2. R1 is such a stupid ass button

okay so all in all, its so interesting to see the ending percentages. especially knowing that its mostly super fans bc of the ultimate thing.

also interesting that as of 8pm EST on opening day, 59% of players chose bae>bay. also like a overwhelming majority romanced chloe and that is SO important to note to me

i'm 100% gonna resume chapter 2 tmmr and rhen likely start a new save at some point next week to slow down and REALLY focus on the details that i missed cuz i missed hella stuff

[insomniamamma]

Ok, some thoughts on episode one of The Last of Us under the cut:

I’m going to preface this by saying i know next to nothing about the game. I’ve seen gifs of it here, but that’s where my knowledge ends. Once Pedro’s casting was announced I decided that I was not going to watch any playthroughs. I wanted to go in with fresh eyes as much as possible. OK. Disclamer done. Here are some thoughts I had in no particular order.

I loved that they showed outbreak day through Sarah’s eyes. She’s just going to school and doing ordinary things. There’s hints around the edges that something is happening, but nothing direct, and I thought this served to crank the tension up to eleven. Sarah is our window into this world, and I love that we only know what she knows.

Also, the sweetness of the relationship between Joel and Sarah and Tommy. They only give us a little but it’s enough to see how much these three care about each other. I love Tommy mooching leftovers out of Joel’s fridge. That’s such a baby brother thing to do.

I love that the focus stays narrow as things inevitably go to shit. The world is coming apart and we see it happening through the windows of Joel’s truck while they’re trying to get out of town.

Even when they abandon the truck the camera is right on Joel and Sarah. IDK I was white knuckled through the first 30 minutes.

As soon as that FEDRA lady started promising that little kid all the toys he wanted to play with I was just like oh no.

The QZ. Yikes.

OK. I’m just gonna take a minute to scream about Pedro Pascal. The difference between how Joel carries himself pre and post breakout is so fucking stark.  I’ve seen several gifsets that show pre and post breakout Joel side by side and the difference in body language is incredible. Pedro can do so much with so little. There’s no need to explain Joel’s grief and withdrawal, it’s etched into every movement and facial expression. The shot of him cradling the dead child the same way he held Sarah and throwing him onto the fire, the absolute lack of emotion. Holy fucking shit. Pedro needs to get all the awards for this show and we’re only one ep in.

Ellie. I’ve had Ellie for one episode and if anything happens to her I will kill everyone in the room and then myself. Seriously though. I love this scrappy little girl. What’s the Troubled Bird meme about being 5oz’s of whoop-ass? She is twenty pounds of murder in a ten pound bag and I love her for it. I’m sorry, but when she pops out of that door and tries to stab Joel and he just launches her into the wall? I’ve got to imagine that his first thought was what the actual fuck?

I love her ok? I love her foul mouth, and snark and the fact that she’s the willing to fuck with Joel after knowing him for tens of minutes. I can’t wait to see these two bounce off each other some more.

And Tess. As I said before I know nothing about the games. But I’ll tell you right now that I love this lady. I have a feeling this is going to hurt me later on though. I love the relationship between her and Joel, there’s no I love you type histrionics, it’s all implied.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll probably post more nonsense as it occurs to me.

[fairycosmos]

do you ever get angry at positive posts? i keep seeing that "bad years are good years in disguise" post and it's pissing me off. I've been having a bad year for like four years. which might not seem like a lot but it is when you're only eighteen. anyways that post talks about how bad moments are always followed by good moments and it's like. no the fuck they are not lol. things just keep getting worse for me.

yeah sometimes. i think it's nice of ppl to want to soothe and encourage others but when you're in a chronically bad place or going through traumatising circumstances/living with the consequences of them being told to find the silver lining is never helpful, at least not to me. sometimes it's not romantic or poetic or ephiphany inspiring sometimes its just fucking brutal. it's like if someone is on fire you're not gonna tell them to learn to appreciate the warmth. it's probably natural to try to make sense of pain by viewing it through that lens of bad moments being followed by good moments and every hardship being a chance to learn and whatever else but sometimes you just need someone to sit with you and acknowledge just how bad it has been for so long. to tell you you're not crazy for being worn out by it (which you're not), to agree with you that it IS unfair and that you DO deserve better than having to survive life rather than actually live it. im really sorry that you've been going through such a hard time and yeah, it is fucked up and nonsensical and incredibly hard to deal with esp at such a young age. i really hope you have a good support system around you who you can talk to about this, and i hope it all starts feeling a bit lighter soon. sending a hug your way. X

[fangbangerghoul]

My week in a set of photos~

The black pictures represent the back of my eyelids cause my ass has been asleep for most of it.

Monday started out normal, I had a presentation that I forgot about coming back from spring break but I nailed it because I've seen enough politicians bullshit in my life to replicate that.

Tuesday I slept in on accident but turned out it was for the best because I got a stomach bug. Which fuck all of that.

Yesterday I managed to keep down, jello, bananas and bread along with my water only diet for those two days.

Today I have managed to eat one solid food and it thankfully cured the ever-present headache. Currently I am still eating jello in between stuff to not test my luck but I have upgraded to some more tea for caffeine reasons.

I have been brainstorming while all this has been happening and watching a lot of The Resident because apparently Medical Dramas are my sick go to (used to be Trailer Park Boys but I cannot tell you how many times I've rewatched all those episodes, so I had to switch it up recently)

Am I still on a writing hiatus? Yes. Will I be off it very soon? Probably not. I really want to give myself a whole month off plus I promised my brother I would crochet a big project for him soon and he just ordered the yarn. I think when I do decide to start publishing material again it will be material, I have a sum of, so I am not stressing myself out about posting. I also just prefer to have things of quality written instead of what I felt I did last time and gave lots of quantity. I don't think my writing was bad, but I also felt like I always made myself feel I had to produce a lot and I am trying to step away from that for my own mental health.

But I do have ideas, many ideas, and I have spoken about these ideas with several people who have helped me focus them. Are they Starfield related? No. But yknow I am not gonna say that ship has sailed yet because I do have a bunch of nonsensical notes and a maybe false hope the story will still be cared about. But my passion in brainstorming exists for other things right now.

Currently I am rushing to finish a paper that was due yesterday to make my English grade not look like I am failing.

Thats about it for the update from me. Y'all have seen my BG3 posts from over my spring break. That's literally all I did. I was gifted an Xbox as a late graduation present (I graduated in the Fall with an Associates of Science in Psychology; I am just crazy and am now pursuing a bachelor's in political science pre-law. I could just stop and call it a day, but I like this whole learning thing too much) So now I will forever have to choose schoolwork or Faerun.

[shurisneakers]

Okay before I start I just want to say that I love you and I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve read Harmless. I literally just finished rereading it last week and I miss it already. BUT THEN I FOUND OUT YOU POSTED THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS OF UNSOLVED AND I AM ALREADY ADDICTED!

Also FYI this is gonna be a long ask and I’m sorry 😬

But hear me out, okay. As soon as I read the first two chapters of unsolved I thought of this story. A couple years ago my mom and I had this ghost show craze and the things people claim to have gone through is insane (I’m not really sure whether I believe in ghosts and stuff or not, tbh) But anyway this one show (which I can’t remember the name of) did a segment on this graduate student who was renting an apartment from her professor at a discount rate sometime during the late 90s/early 2000s. She moves in and starts being followed and watched by a shadow person/poltergeist who does poltergeist shit like open cabinets, steal keys, bang on things, etc. Most notably though, it steals a whole block of cheese which she was using to make mac and cheese. She tears the kitchen apart to find it, knowing that she just had it on the counter beside her, but cannot find it. Weeks later she opens her utensil drawer and there’s the block of cheese, molded. (I don’t know if you’re looking for actual cases or making them up or a bit of both)

So anyway, I had some thoughts on how Bucky and his partner would potentially respond to this story (all of which is potentially very lame and cringy so I’m sorry in advance for that, too.)

Okay, so my thoughts are that Bucky asks what kind of cheese it was and the reader thinks ‘why the fuck does this matter?’ But she replies something like “idk, she’s a poor college student so probably velveeta or some shit.” He says “that shit doesn’t mold! It’s got enough preservatives in it to kill and mummify a horse!” and she’s like “well maybe it was some other cheese, then” already exasperated at the frivolous line of questioning. But he continues to be a little shit and says something like “maybe she didn’t look for it in the utensils drawer” and she responds, incredulously, with “she would have had to get a fucking fork at some point” and he says “maybe she got ’em from take out” and she’s like “she’s a poor grad student?!” And he’s like “it’s called living beyond your means. Maybe she didn’t care about her credit score.” And the reader is sure that she’s gonna have an aneurysm. Also I know he would steal cheese or some other food item from Sam or Clint or the reader later just to fuck with ‘em.

Thanks for putting up with my rambling 😊

HIIIII VIOLET ❤️❤️ I just wanted to say that I see your reblogs all the time in my notifications and i appreciate it so so much. Thank you reading my fics, it really means the world to me!!

I do make up the cases in Unsolved! i didn't want to accidentally disrespect anybody or beliefs, and that becomes a tricky area to navigate when you're using IRL cases so i thought that fiction was the best way to go about it

Why did I think you were going to tell me that the professor was living in the dorm and just screwing with her. Like those other cases where food disappears from kitchens and the homeowners realise that there's someone else living in the home with them

you're absolutely right, he would call out the stupidest fucking details and the kind of cheese is most definitely at the top. i LOVE this exchange you've written-- it really does feel like them especially the whole "she's a fucking grad student??????" part lmfafhfhf

I'd love to turn this or something similar into a mini drabble one of these days, if you'd be okay with that!

thank you so so much for this ask. i loved it and read it like 15 times today. and thank you for the time and effort you spend in reblogging my nonsense, i appreciate you so much ❤️❤️❤️

[gunsli-01]

I will always state that outside of all the nonsense that goes on in my milgram posts my personal opinion on punishment....like just me not taking any fandom responses, theories etc if it was just up to me innocent sweep for everyone. Sorry my morals are very loose by loose i mean i refuse to be a witness. I will not start problems for myself, it is the job of the authorities to prove they did anything not me.

I did not ask for this position as far as I know I'm trapped here too and being put to sleep for months at a time. Honestly, if I was Es I would simply vote everyone innocent and get to the end of this as quickly as possible. No skin off my back. What about the songs, the visuals, the confessions could you ignore- I had and still have to at times ignore gunshots the answer is yes I could and I would. I know this can sound cowardly or uncaring but even if I started off taking the job seriously as soon as Mikoto kicked my ass i would be rethinking life.

I'd be doing whatever the fuck kept me safest cause clearly this facility isn't trustworthy not just for these inmates but for me as well. Though I wouldn't jump to making deals with inmates right away either. This is a clear facility failure in more ways than one. So after being shell-shocked for a bit I'd take the issue up with Jackalope. If he can't do anything about it then yeah no I'm not trusting anyone after that for a while.

Even at the beginning having it all laid out to me like "Hey you're here with these murderers, we give them a lot of freedom, and you have to find out what they did and judge if they deserve to be punished or not. We aren't related to the authorities in any way and no i won't explain how you got here or what happens after all this." My immediate knee-jerk reaction was just "Alright, cool, cool no one here's a cop sooooo...innocent." If any inmates hit me with why did you vote this way I'd simply go "Why did you kill? Exactly. Stop asking questions." Like if any of the inmates wanted a different judgement then I'd probably be like fine here ya go. If I can abstain or consider a 50/50 as abstaining then I'd just do that what is the rabbit gonna do fire me?

All this to say I think milgram fans that like to write should very much write self-indulgent guard insert fanfics where their votes are the only one that matter and explore the other possibilities. I'm willing to write guard and choice variations for people not that into writing themselves but I've got no clue if my style is for everyone. I just think it'd be fun to see what it'd be like if it was all up to one individual and I feel like the fandom would be full of so many possibilities.

Ah, my variations may also be kind of boring though since going all innocent might not cause as much conflict as we're seeing now. Kotoko would definitely be mad at me but at least she can't jump me. It really depends on the prisoner not everyone would be happy with straight innocent verdicts. Both options may just be far too dangerous. Just accepting everything or denying it haaaa it's difficult to figure out a nice balance.

[tech-depression-inventory]

hey friends!

some of you have been following me for a while, some of you are new, welcome! i’m gonna go on a bit of a personal rant here so, feel free to read or not or just read the tldr.

cw/tw: mentions of separation, toxic relationships, moving towns, haven rambles about their personal life for a while, medical discussions, autoimmune disorders

tldr: life flipped me upside down and fucked me and that’s why i haven’t been posting or super active

i don’t often talk about personal stuff on here but figured i’d provide some context as to why everything’s a mess and i haven’t been writing/posting like i said i would, or like i used to.

back in january i split from my long term partner who’d i thought i would marry, right down to having matching tattoos, and calling him my husband on here often. to make a long story short; the relationship was very toxic. it wasn’t a healthy situation for me anymore, and im happy to be where i am now. luckily my name wasn’t on any paperwork for our apartment (since i live in BC Canada there’s something called “common law” if your names on paperwork), and i was able to get out of living there quite quickly and easily. i’ve traveled the country since then, got to see sleep token, made new friends, seen and done tons of new things, and feel truly blessed with the life i have now.

as some of you may know from my posts, i have been diagnosed with celiac disease, and im also in the process of being diagnosed with POTS, both of which can be super draining on my body and mental state. im trying really hard to push through and continue to move my body as much as possible to maintain my health. i’ve taken to bringing my ipad to the gym and reading fics on it while running on the treadmill, as apparently thats supposed to be good for me, the juries still out on that one.

i also graduated university during this time and will be starting my career in the fall! i’m hoping that having a proper work life balance will allow me to start publishing more on here and on ao3 like i’ve wanted to, and being a more active part in my fandoms.

i’m still a huge SW fan, even if my page has shifted more into the bad omens/sleep token genres. Star Wars is still very near and dear to my heart, but was something my partner and i watched together, hence the matching lightsaber tattoos, and can sometimes be a little hurtful sometimes. but alas, you will still see me reblogging SW content that i read on here, as a lot of my mutuals are from that fandom, and i love to support them.

i’ve got all sorts of stuff on this page, I will be going through and organizing it now that i have more time to make my page a little less confusing. i’ll be posting my current readings, fic recommendation lists and my own fics again in a masterlist either today or tomorrow, once i have the whole thing organized. i’ve been writing a ton to keep my mind off everything and as an outlet while dealing with my issues, and hopefully i’ll be able to edit and post some of those soon. for now, you’ll continue to see me reblogging art, fics and some other nonsense stuff about bad omens, sleep token, and whatever else i come across.

i’ll probably go back to posting some incorrect quotes as i come up with them, since that’s how i gained a lot of my traction. i’m also planning on starting up streaming on twitch again, so i’ll be posting a stream schedule once i get my room all set up for it!

anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for listening to my rambling. as always, if yall ever need anyone or are going through something similar to what i went through, please reach out, i’m always happy to talk about literally anything. this blog has always been my outlet and has been and always will be a safe space for everyone.

love always,

haven <3

[thesugarhole]

its such a snippy thing to do. to give himself his heartbeat back, relinquishing 'superpowers' 117 gave him, trade them for mortality and 'being "normal"' again, only for pilot to take notice right away and sacrifice himself instead of snippy dying again.

like i think a good chunk of people irl would do the same regarding being human vs being dead, and its not snippys fault pilot decided to redirect the beam to save his ass (he doesnt even know he got his ass saved by him, again, actually) but it's genuinely such a snippy thing to happen, always some sort of bullshit tragedy (of sometimes consequences of his own actions) going on. relentlessly bullied by the narrative. guy cannot catch a break and if he does? others dont

and as SOON as he retaliates against the attack on pilot he looses 117 just as fast. zero resources and tied to a cross until captain inevitably gets his princess ass out of trouble again

also i might as well make this one big nonsensical post (as i tend to do) but if this had happen close to the end of the story, with whatever the fuck happens in that precious moon, then id be fine with it*. very heroic and altruistic finish, though snippy would probably have to do smth more extra than just resign himself to cruxifiction after loosing 117. 'no... it can't end here!! *uncruxifies himself while thinking of men*' idfk dont take this too seriously but like even now hes suspiciously way too chill like... your whole team just scattered. one of them will be fine (always is). then one got forcefully removed, the other is COMATOSE, AND YOU JUST SAW THE LAST ONE HAVE HIS ENTIRE TORSO EXPLODED BY AN ION BEAM. goddamn! i know your opinion of him, that he has crazy endurance and strength and seems to have survived so far, but you cant delude yourself into thinking he would be fine after That. anyway back to the point i started the paragraph with: doing pilot such a big bang temporary exit RIGHT NOW only to come back later for his final final exit being "gets locked in some sort of room to help the others" is still so so bad. you cannot kill pilot in a way that matters because you already used up all the epic ones

*im more or less aware that this particular pilot death was the one that irked people the most (including me, the clueless) but i do think what comes after is worse. this is how pilot dying now can still win and I'm not gonna funnyman it: 1 his head and current self are still alive, 2 annet seems to always work even after numerous shutdown attempts both pre and post apocalypse, meaning most of his old self is stored in a cloud. these are all elements that work together for his final room fate but how about.... he doesn't get stuck there because hes far more useful to the plot as the muscle and also he should be allowed to keep doing his silly cartwheels and ninja moves. im sure theres more than enough scrap on the moon to bullshit a new body if needs be but man come on. does this make any sense or am i just being overpowered by favoritest character sentiment again

[cetaceanhandiwork]

I don’t care about the checkmarks and I’m probably not gonna buy one unless I can think of some really funny way to use it. and to be clear, this post isn’t really about that.

but it was the inspiration for this post, because I saw some interesting secondhand discourse on the topic, which reminded me of this old XKCD episode

but I think there’s a better point to be made in this neighborhood than the sorta gratuitous “take that” approach Munroe used there

which is that if you let yourself get to the point where you see any expenditure of money “for fun” as wicked because there’s children starving in detroit, you have fallen for one of the central lies that money tries to indoctrinate us with: that you can math out everything in terms of +EV and opportunity cost, even things like good and evil.

and the reason you can’t math it out is that:

nobody on planet fucking earth knows enough to actually math out the consequences of an action. nobody has that level of perspective or context.

even if they did, how do you price those consequences against each other? there’s no way to compare one person’s pain to another’s; you’ll getting meaningless results, worse than useless. there’s a reason that we say “there’s no winners in misery poker”.

even if you could compare, how do you add or subtract? how do you do basic arithmetic when we know the hedonic treadmill exists, or that beyond a certain minimum successful care produces over-unity of happiness?

but we think we can anyway. we think we can b/c we live in a world where everything costs money and everyone needs money, where we’ve been trained to think that you can just convert X into a dollar-denominated opportunity cost and compare that way.

but that ain’t how good and evil work, and it ain’t how our hearts work. and it’s a deadly risk, because as soon as you start trying to do that math, you can get your arm twisted into believing that enough money can make something wrong into something right (b/c you can donate it to make something better happen than the bad thing you did). which, to be clear, is nonsense, and it’s the kind of thinking that ate Ana Mardoll (f’rex) alive.

or you start wondering if your existence is somehow a net negative to the world b/c you happen to take prescription meds paid for by medicaid. which, to be clear, is also nonsense and eats people alive every day.

and all this shit erodes your moral sense, your... fuckit, I’m just gonna say your conscience. b/c you keep telling it “no this good thing is bad actually because of the math” or vice versa until you get so much practice at it that nothing feels good anymore, or nothing feels bad anymore. and now you’re entirely off in deep space without even anything to base your busted math on.

I don’t claim to have all the answers. my own mutant ass take on virtue ethics is probably not an effective coda to this post b/c it’s not actually the point. and I’m definitely not saying that you shouldn’t spend your money on good causes. it’s good to care, and it’s good to act on that care! you’ll probably even enjoy it! but that’s not the point either. the point is more that “you should quit your topic X because my topic Y is more important” or “you should give up on real human being Z because my topic Y is more important” are snake oil, because you can’t even do math to those things in the first place without getting yourself irrecoverably, tragically confused.

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol