#gonna share it here when it's up! the day is a bit far away tho

[stardryad]

Some (baker) bunny sketches 🐰🥧

(RedBubble | Inprnt)

[hippiegoth97]

Random Spencer Reid Thought #1

Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: swearing, smut, fem!reader, bau!reader, new relationship, sex at work, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, fingering, no use of Y/N, caught in the act (kinda, at the end), fluff

Some Tags: @hotwritergf @melodymunson @rafeyscurtainbangs @mediocredreams @loserboysandlithium

@bloodibambiidoll @littlexdeaths @sanctumdemunson @cairro-xx @veemoon (tbh I wasn't sure who all to tag, so I tagged some moots and people I know usually read my stuff. Feel free to ignore if it's not your thing tho lol)

"I swear to god, you're gonna get us caught one of these days, Reid." You say breathlessly, tugging on Spencer's tie to keep his lips close to yours. You'd dragged him into a nearby supply closet after the rest of the team had dispersed for lunch, most of them heading to a new BBQ place nearby. They'd asked you and Spencer to come along, but you've both had much more pressing things on your mind.

From the second you came in this morning (separately, of course, even though he'd stayed the night at your place), your eyes have wandered from your work to each other's desks from across the cluster. It's been absolute torture, forced to sit so far apart, unable to touch each other or whisper all the dirty things you plan to do later. All you had to get yourself by was vivid thoughts of Spencer tossing his papers away, stalking over to you, and bending you over your desk to fuck you silly. You're sure he was picturing similar filthy things, given how often he cleared his throat and crossed or uncrossed his legs. Although, the ideas inside his head are usually more centered around getting down on his knees and burying his face between your thighs. It's a wonder that nobody seemed to notice your discomfort, really. The amount of stolen glances and fidgeting in your seats are certainly behaviors that should set off a profiler's internal alarms. But, thus far, you've managed to fly just below everyone's radar.

You've been seeing each other for a few months now, keeping it a secret from everybody else. It started off as a fluke date shortly after you joined the BAU team, and Spencer took a shine to your quick wit and bottomless well of intellect in no time at all. He'd asked you out for coffee (after a barrage of peer-pressuring encouragement from Morgan), wanting to show you around a bit as you were new to the area at the time. Spencer was a complete gentleman, opening the door for you, pulling out your chair, offering you his jacket when you got cold. Add on the way you talked one another's ears off about everything under the sun, moon and stars, and you were hooked on each other in an instant. Neither of you had met anyone who could keep up, or maintain your interest before. By the time he walked you home that night, you shared in the knowledge that this...spark you felt was something special.

Things progressed rather quickly from there. You've gone out together at least once a week, even sneaking out at night during cases to get some quality time in. A dinner here, a tipsy make-out in either of your hotel rooms there, as well as more educational outings to the planetarium, various lectures, and art exhibits when you're at home base. It didn't take long to heat things up, either. Spencer was less experienced than you, having only a couple casual hook-ups under his belt, which went as awkwardly as one would expect. But you were patient with him, showing him what you like and what you don't, helping him figure out the same for himself. It was a simultaneously experimental and exhilarating experience for you both when you finally had sex the first time.

And now, here you are, all wandering hands and moaning mouths in a closet full of office supplies. Spencer's got you sitting on a metal filing cabinet, legs spread in your pencil skirt as he stands between them. His large hands grip and squeeze your thighs, while he rolls his hips to press his erection against your clothed cunt. "Don't act as if the idea of getting found out doesn't turn you on." Spencer teases, smiling against your lips as you tug him forward into another kiss.

"Maybe a little." You admit, letting his tongue slip into your mouth. Your eyes drift closed, and you feel his hand slowly slip further down your leg and under your skirt. His lithe fingers pull your panties to the side, rubbing sensual circles around your clit. You moan down his throat, your own hands reaching blindly for his belt now. You don't have a lot of time, as much as you hate to rush this.

"We should tell them soon. It's only a matter of time before they catch on." Spencer suggests, slipping two fingers into your soaked pussy with ease. The sound he ends up swallowing from your lungs makes his dick twitch inside his pants. Never in his life did he think he'd be so lucky to find a woman like you, or a woman at all, for that matter. Spencer enjoys every moment spent with you like it's his last, and it's been nice existing in this safe romantic bubble. But sneaking around has its disadvantages, namely having to keep his hands to himself when you're around the team. Far be it from Reid to be unprofessional in any sense, but, fuck, it's so hard to behave when you're around.

"I know, Penelope's been dropping lots of extra hints lately." You say with a light laugh, your insides boiling as Spencer curls his digits inside of you. They're perfectly long and slender, reaching all the right places every time. He's made you come with them alone on many occasions.

"I noticed. She's not very subtle." Reid chuckles, his gaze drifting down as you manage to get his belt unfastened. You waste no time in undoing to button and zip, reaching inside his boxers to grab hold of his aching length. According to you, he's very well endowed. Even though he's aware the average size of male genitalia is 5.1 inches when erect, he's never gotten curious enough to measure himself. A brief visual guess probably puts him at around seven or eight, not that he's all that concerned about it. All he cares about it making you happy, and his mind is far too vast to be fixated on how long his cock is.

"I don't think she ever has been." You comment, eyes focused on Spencer's dick in your grasp. He's rock solid, his tip rosy pink and leaking pearlescent precum. The sight makes your pussy throb around Reid's fingers. If you had more time, you'd drop to your knees in an instant.

"And that's why we love her." Spencer adds, groaning as you stroke him nice and slow. The both of you keep this up for a moment, zeroing in on one another's most sensitive areas that you've craved all day. Soft sighs and moans leave your mouths, mingling with the wet schlick sounds of your foreplay. "But, enough about the team." He says softly, meeting your gaze. His free hand cups your cheek, drawing you in closer as you stare into his beautiful brown eyes. "This moment is just for us." He nearly whispers as he kisses you deeply, lovingly. Neither of you have dropped the 'L' word yet, though you both certainly feel it for one another. But the time to say it definitely isn't during a lunchtime quickie in a damn closet. The occasion will present itself, at a later date.

While Spencer has your attention captured in the kiss, he gently takes his cock from your grasp and into his own. He gasps against you, tangling his tongue with yours to make your knees weak, just like you taught him. He gives his dick a couple fervent strokes, taking his fingers out of your cunt so he can line himself up. You whine at the loss, though your stomach twists in anticipation of what will soon take their place. Using his pruned fingers to hold your panties to the side, the sticky tip of Spencer's cock nudges against your center. More moans brew within your throats, kept hidden inside to prevent you from being discovered.

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, hands tangling in his hair as you melt into him. His lips and tongue make you feel dizzy with lust, and his cockhead rutting against your folds is sending you into orbit. "Spence, please. I need you, baby." You plead between desperate kisses.

"I need you, too, you have no idea." Reid replies, pulling back just a moment so he can see what he's doing. He positions his dick at your entrance, and pushes inside at an agonizing pace. Low moans escape you both, you at the stretch, and him at the squeeze. "Fuck, you're so wet." Spencer says, trying to keep his cool.

"All for you, Spence." You say sweetly, locking your ankles behind his back, pulling him as close to you as possible with your legs. His hands return to your thighs, holding on tight as he begins to thrust.

Spencer starts off slow, watching as his cock pumps in and out of your pussy with no resistance. Your arousal makes him all shiny in the dim light, already forming a creamy ring around his base. "God, you're perfect." He exhales, unable to think of a single thing that looks as beautiful as this. The two of you, becoming one, your interlocking parts sculpted by nature to fit together flawlessly. Nothing within his expansive memory could possibly compare.

"So are you, baby. Can you go faster? We're running out of time." You beg pathetically, needing this release before you inevitably have to go back to work filling out papers and looking over crime scene photos.

"I hate how right you are about that." Spencer replies with a broken sigh, picking up speed with his thrusts. The infallibly accurate internal clock you share is ticking down, every push of his hips against yours marking each second that's taken from you. He plants his lips on yours again, focusing on giving you what those desperate noises you're making are telling him. You need him, all of him. Every last inch rutting into your sopping cunt until you see stars. And when it comes to you, Reid always aims to please.

"Fuck, Spence, just like that." You pant between fervent kisses, marveling at the way his cock pounds into your g-spot with flawless precision. The coil of arousal you've been building up since you sat down with your coffee this morning ripples and tangles with every thrust.

It becomes rather difficult for Spencer to keep kissing you when his pace picks up even more. His head falls forward, resting on your shoulder as he continues to wind you both up towards ecstasy. He turns his head slightly, hatching the naughty idea to speak lowly in your ear. "I can't wait until we get home later, and I can take my time with you." He says, trying so hard not to let the loud groans he wants to emit come through. They come out as hushed whimpers instead, which only turns you on more.

"Fuck." You let out a small noise of your own, muted as you bite down on your lower lip. But he hears it all the same, and keeps going.

"I'll spend all night touching you in all your favorite places, fuck you until the sun comes up, make you cry out for me as many times as you ask me to." His words are equally filthy and adoring, showing you just how much he wants to worship you and your body. Chills run up and down your spine as he speaks, his breath burning hot against your neck. It's nearly too much, and yet, you can't enough.

"God, Spence, please don't stop!" You moan, far too loudly.

"Now who's gonna get us caught?" Reid teases, even though the way you squealed nearly made him blow his load entirely.

"Sorry...sorry..." You pant the words out, for fear of being too loud again.

"It's okay, baby. I like knowing just how good I make you feel." He coos to you, almost sending you over the edge. Your walls squeeze around him tightly in warning. His breath catches at the sensation, right there with you in terms of how close you are to reaching climax. "God, that's it...you're so close, so am I. Gonna make you cum, gonna make you feel so good, I swear...so fucking good..." Spencer's mind sprints faster than his mouth can get the words out, barely audible as he buries himself further into your neck. He slams himself into you even harder, faster, chasing his release and dragging you alongside him.

"Spencer, oh my god." You gasp as he hits that perfect place inside you cunt even better than before, his hips pounding against yours hard enough to leave bruises. His hands dig into the flesh of your thighs, his mouth sucking and licking at your neck in a feverish need to make you lose control. It's definitely working, the waves of bliss beginning to roll over you in thick crashes. "Oh, god, make me cum, baby...don't stop, you feel so good..." You babble mindlessly as your insides flutter around Reid's dick, threatening to clamp down on him at any moment. "Fuck, oh, I'm gonna cum...oh, god- fuck...oh, spenceSpenceSPENCE!" You clap a hand over your mouth to conceal your scream as your orgasm takes hold. You tremble violently in Spencer's grip, your pussy strangling him with all its might. Stars blur your vision, pure pleasure coursing through your veins at lightning speed. You cling to him, nails clawing at his back, heels digging into his ass helplessly.

"Fuck-ing- god." Spencer stutters out as you squeeze him so tight, biting down hard into your neck to muffle the load groan rushing from his chest. He pierces you sloppily through his release, painting your eager walls with thick ropes of sticky white, hips stuttering and feral grunts leaving him with every stab of his spent cock. He gradually comes to a stop as your shared high subsides, pulling his softening length from you, watching as your mixed release flows from your now-sore cunt. He reaches into his pocket for a kerchief he keeps for such occasions, gazing adoringly into your lust-drunk eyes as he cleans you up. He would use his mouth, if there were time for such things.

You gasp as the soft fabric meets your puffy lips, never breaking Spencer's stare while he takes care of you. You've never felt more in love in your life than you do right now, with your legs still spread wide open, while this gorgeous, scrawny, genius wipes your combined spend away. Once you're all clean, he pulls your skirt back down over your legs, and puts his flaccid cock inside his pants, fastening the belt with casual ease. He helps you down from the cabinet, noting your wobbling legs as you stand in your sensible heels.

"All set?" He asks, earning a giggle from you as his hair has become more of a mess than usual.

"Almost." You say softly, smoothing down his unruly locks to look more presentable, and less like you two just went to town on each other over lunch. "Well, we'd better get back out there. The others should be arriving back now." You say, heading for the door first. You hate to leave at all, but the last thing you need is to get caught right now.

"I'll wait the three minutes, and meet you back in there." Three minutes, the amount of time you'd determined was appropriate enough to excuse you both coming back to the bullpen near the same time without raising suspicion. No one bats an eye at three minutes difference. It could be explained away as a coffee refill, a bathroom break, anything really. But returning at the same time? Or leaving this small room at the same time? Out of the question. You'd made the mistake of returning at the same time once, and you didn't hear the end of it from the team for a good three days, despite the assertion that you and Reid had been in separate places at the time.

"Okay. See you then." You nod, giving him a quick kiss. You open the door, checking to see if the coast is clear. Satisfied with your findings, you step out from the closet, closing the door behind you. You're about to turn and walk in the direction of the bullpen, when you end up smack dab in front of Penelope. You have no idea where she came from just now, or how long she's been hiding out. But the sly smirk on her face tells you she knows enough. "Hey, Garcia. How was your lunch?" You ask nervously, failing to play it cool.

"Oh, it was good. I brought some leftover eggplant parmesan from home." Penelope replies, nearly bursting with the knowledge that you and Reid have indeed been hooking up, as she rightly suspected. "How was yours?" She asks coyly, biting her lip as she expects you to spill all the gory details she couldn't hear through the door.

"It was...fine. I packed a lunch as well." You answer, clearing your throat.

"Oh, I'm sure you packed something. What did you have? Some sausage maybe? Or a footlong?" Penelope continues to tease, and at this point, you know the jig is up.

"Oh, alright! Yes, I did! You happy now?" You exclaim, rolling your eyes as your arms cross out of reflex.

"I knew it! I knew it!" Garcia chuckles, doing one of the dorkiest victory dances you've ever seen. The few passersby give her a sideways glance, but she doesn't pay them any mind.

"Okay, okay!" You put your hands on her shoulders to still her, meeting her eyes. "Look, can you just promise me you won't say anything? Spencer and I plan to tell everyone when the time is right, but we like keeping this thing to ourselves for now. Alright?" You implore with her to keep her mouth shut, for your sake, as your friend, and Spencer's.

"Yeah, I can do that." She nods in understanding, pulling you in for a hug. "I'm so happy for you guys!" She squeals, getting excited again.

"Thanks, Garcia. I appreciate that." You smile, returning her embrace.

"So do I." Spencer says from the other side of the door.

"You better treat her right, pretty boy! Or mama is gonna get you!" Penelope warns with all the love in the world.

"I fully intend to." Spencer replies, and you can practically see his lovesick expression from out here, and how his eyes must be looking straight at where he imagines you're standing, meaning every one of those four simple words.

[a-certain-romance]

sharing more housewife reader and making people happy fr

this time we got ladies w dicks to make it more intesting

dehya loves her house wife after awhile of being a merc and not being able to see her housewife and catching her ass in the kitchen she just has to bend you over and pull you head a bit while her dick is deep in you doggy style

then we have candace who would be falling inlove with the scent you bring to her house and cooking and cleaning whenever the villiage needed to be proctected just makes her want to 69 with you just so you cna enjoy her dick while also being pleasured at the same time<3

beidou and house wife reader mean that their gonna be dealing with their drunk wife(beidou) 24/7 beidou apperciaite whenever you take care of her while shes drunk and she loves her hard working wife so hard she hates the fact shes been ignoringnyou for drinks so in the small wave riders she fucks you deep and content letting you cock warm her and move your hips against her to just sob and beg her to just doggy style you instead of driving the boat but you arent lifting a finger till your at the island shes gonna fuck you at

jean and lisa w house wife reader is magical like lisa is very teasing and makes you moan every single time she slowly gropes you however for jean you can lay on her lap for hours being cormftable on her thigh without her knowing sometimes (but she does notice and kinda finds it cute) whenever yohr truly all in the mood lisa is on anal while jean just rubs infront of you so you can slowly suck on her sadly jean is a bit rough she doesnt it mean it tho!!:(( lisa always cormforts her by giving you or a her soft kiss and kissing your tears away whenever jean pounds you they can be so rough sometimes

ngl next is teacher reader and a kid falls inlove w them so jealous jealous jealous!!

A/N: I. Love. Long. Asks. Housewife anon ily & u read my mind I was just about to say u need a name atp! This is the most tags I’ve ever used on a fic haha. Also my tumblr is acting weird and I can’t see the words I pasted so pink font here we go.

Warnings: Smut written by a minor, anal (Deyha)(Beidou)(Lisa), Hair pulling (Deyha), 69 position (Candace), Oral R giving (Candace)(Jean), Confined spaces (Beidou), Creampie (Beidou), Cockwarming (Beidou), Plug w/ cock (Beidou), Spanking (Lisa), Pet names (Lisa:Kitten), crying (Jean), fluff (all)

Link to Pt1, Pt2, & Pt4

- The thing about Deyha is that she’s big

- Rather than shoving it as far as she can she eases into you slowly. And when her front meets your ass she’ll start playing with your clit to pass the time as you get used to the size.

- When she starts to thrust she’ll make you take her cock all the way to the hilt, back to the tip and all the way in again. Every time she moves it touches your inner walls in all the right places.

- Although she starts out gentle she will slowly begin to lose it. It’s been so long since she’s had your sweet cunt wrapped so tightly around her. She just can’t catch a break with being a merc and a bodyguard, so in this moment she just need to fuck your hard

- As your tongue rolls out of your mouth and drool starts to pool down to the marble countertops. She’ll stick 2 fingers down your throat and chide you for making such a mess so as she pounds away.

- You were a spice trader before you settled down in Arue village with Candace.

- Every time you came into her home you smelled like a blend of cinnamon and calla lillies. And now she gets to wake up to that scent every day.

- Your knowledge of spices leads you to always cook the most delicious meals and bake the most flavorful delicacies. Your reputation has made its way across your travels and Candace couldn’t feel any more lucky.

- On the days that a heavy sandstorm hits, you toil away in the kitchen baking batches upon batches of sweets to feed the entire village. You learned quicker that your dishes create a calming affect and it helps those with anxiety over the monsters in the sand.

- She’ll catch you handing them out after the sandstorm dies down and helps hand out the rest. Once everyone’s had their share you pack up the leftovers as Candace showers. Most times when Candace is out fighting for her village you welcome her back with soft sex. Everyone looks up to her for protection, and there’s so much on the line when she ventures out, not fully knowing if she’ll come back in one piece. Having you in her arms makes her believe she can withstand anything that comes her way.

- She’s so worked up this time around. She wastes no time in practically dragging you to the bed. She doesn’t know if she should pleasure you first or the other way around.

- So of course the only option was to set your pussy down on her face as you drop your mouth down to the base of her cock. Candace loves the feeling of your weight on her. It doesn’t matter if you feel you’re crushing her, your closeness is a reminder that you’re safe and sound, and going through all the scars and sandstorms are worth it if it means she gets to protect you.

- You finally let her cock enter your mouth, your thumb running up and down the length of the shaft and occasionally gripping it. At the same time Candace rolls her tongue into you further, and in seconds your cum starts to drip down her face.

- You pull your mouth out when her cock starts to twitch and you know her climax is coming. Ropes of her cum shoot out and paint your face, neck and breasts white

- Beidou drives the waverider far out onto the water but stops halfway to the island.

- You’re confused at first, why would she stop the boat in the middle of the water? She hops out from the drivers seat and pulls you down, now knowing that the reason she stopped was so she can fuck you without any distractions.

- Being in a such a small waverider gives her no other choice but to fuck well and deep, your panting even starts to fog up the windows with how rough she’s being. She doesn’t stop until her hot, thick cum is gushing out of you and dripping down your thighs.

- And she still feels so guilty for choosing drinks over you, so she keeps her dick plugged into you and has you cockwarm her until you reach the island. She just wants to be closer to you for as long as your here with her. Neither of you are fully satisfied, but she doesn’t let you ride her, not yet at least. Beidou knows she’s being a bit rough this time so she’s intent on focusing all her attention on you.

- When you get to the island she abruptly pulls out and guides you (and your wobbly legs) to a nice picnic laid out on the beach, blankets and baskets and everything. And there isn’t even any alcohol, only a sweet Sunsettia and Lavender Melon juice blend that she promises is worth dying for.

- Despite your pleas, she avoids anymore sexual contact until you’ve had your fair share of food and drink. Conversations with her flow freely, but you can just ignore the want between your legs.

- After you both packed up the remaining leftovers, she’ll shove you to lay down with your knees under your stomach, roll down your pants, and take you from behind. “This is what you wanted wasn’t it?” She grunts out, “You were just begging for me to ram my cock into you doggy style barely an hour ago”

- You should get rewarded like this more often

- Lisa’s groping you anywhere, and that doesn’t stop at just your body. No no no Lisa will take any chance to tease you whether that’s behind closed doors or against the Library stacks. It’s all worth it for the small noises you make, like you’re just a tiny little kitten under her.

- When she gets behind you she traces the curve of your ass before delivering spank after spank to hear your cries. Lisa might not admit it often, but hearing you beg really gets her going. There’s just something about your voice that makes her want to hear you reach your limits.

- Jean loves having you around! She’ll take up any chance that has you by her side, doesn’t matter when or where. She’ll tell you you’re cute plenty of times but she wholeheartedly believes that words can’t encompass how she feels about you.

- Jean’s sorry about being too rough with you, she really doesn’t mean it! It’s just that when she looks down on you and sees those needy, teary eyes obediently sucking on her length she can’t help but shove the rest of her cock farther down your throat. You always feel so filled and so content with the both of them.

- But let’s be honest, despite how rough they can be, aftercare with them is heaven. Lisa holds you in her arms while Jean draws a bath. When you all get in the tub Jean massages shampoo in your hair while Lisa sensually washes your body, not ever missing a single patch of skin.

- Lisa is always the he first to get out. Jean kisses every inch of your skin that she can reach as she wipes the suds off your body. When you and Jean finish drying off Lisa has prepared a tray with tea and scones for all of you to enjoy

[flame-cat]

hey fellas so @boyswillbeboxes and I have been cooking a fun concept for a few days and I thought I'd share it with you along with some Images I doodled. the post we're talking about at first is this one right here but if u don't feel like looking at it tl;dr its kim glaring at jean and being possessive of Harry. synopsis under the readmore! tws for suicide baiting and suicidal actions

rat: THAT FUCKIN COMIC WITH KIM GIVING JEAN THE SIDE EYE I'M SCREAMING

GET HIS ASS KIM

me: DLFJFKFKF IM SO GLAD U SAW ITTTT

rat: I JUST DID

me: thought of u makin that

rat: 😭😭

I'm so honored

God lmao you're right tho

Listen listen if Harry fails the check for the karaoke and Jean is there and doesn't clap for Harry, Kim swears a VENDETTA

That's CANON

He brings it up at the tribunal he's so petty

The second one

He says some really backhanded shit I don't remember the specifics but he's basically like Enemy Sighted

me: he took one look at this man and went "is anyone gonna become harshly overprotective of that" and didn't wait for an answer

rat: NO FOR REAL

IT'S INSANE HOW QUICKLY KIM WOULD DIE FOR HARRY

I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM

me: like in my head it literally is just. jean is minding his business. he doesn't even do anything. and Kim is just glaring daggers at him from across the room. in my head it's a sitcom bit where every time Harry leaves the room with Kim and Jean left Kim threatens Jean's life and as soon as Harry comes back in hes Normal again and jean is like GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH

rat: Nobody ever believes Jean when he says this is happening

"No he's so even-tempered he's really polite maybe you just misinterpreted?"

Or even worse it makes Jean look crazy

me: like jean comes back to his desk and there's his mug which is now filled with dirt and a sticky note that says "bitch"

he looks over at Kim's desk and Kim is staring directly at him with murder in his eyes

and then a couple seconds pass and he looks away like nothing happened and jean is like "oh its ON motherfucker" (it is not on. jean can't hope to fight back against the wrath of kim kitsuragi)

jean fills Kim's coffee with salt? Kim just drinks it all. completely straight face. doesn't flinch once

kim comes over later and is like "thanks for the coffee" even tho jean was SURE no one saw him do that

he goes to fucking pryce about it eventually and he's just like "I don't appreciate you spreading rumors about the newest member of the 41st. he's done exemplary work. far better than you. maybe you need to go through that sensitivity training again?" and he blows his fucking LID over that.

challenges kim to a fucking brawl in the middle of the bullpen and Kim is just like. officer you're embarrassing yourself *eyebrow*

his reputation never recovers. even more of a joke than Dick Mullen now

rat: Kim being so so SO careful never to do this when anyone else is around. But then one day Jean is in the bathroom, and then the door opens, and it's Kim. And Kim just stops. Looks at him. Smirks a little. Then reaches behind himself and locks the door

And Jean feels FEAR

Kim never actually touches him. But it's very clear he's more than capable of following through on his threats.

Getting in his space and grabbing his chin to make sure Jean is Paying Attention

me: jean starts looking over his shoulder on his way home. one time Kim tails him just to fuck with him. jean thinks he loses him but when he gets onto his street kim is standing outside of his building, having his one cigarette

jean is stood frozen. Kim locks eyes with him as he puts out the cig on his boot. walks away

jean i think starts to try and play dirty as well but idk how he'd go about it. he's too... hm. stupid

rat: Yeah yeah yeah for sure like. He tries to "trick" Kim into a fight but Kim is five steps ahead at all times, he never takes the bait

And god help him if he tries to antagonize Harry to get to Kim

That's when Kim gets SERIOUS

That's when Kim finds him in a dark alley outside of work

Grabs a handful of his hair, smashes his face into a brick wall, puts him into a hammerlock hold

Whispers in his ear if he ever catches him trying that shit again, he's not getting a warning next time

me: I think it'd be hilarious if Jean tried to threaten suicide and it just. doesn't work. I think it'd make sense for him to bait kim like "okay well what if I killed myself and framed YOU for my MURDER" and Kim is like officer don't be dramatic get over yourself please

rat: Kim just staring at him like "Okay then. Do it. Right now."

Maybe Kim even hands over his gun

Jean trying to turn the tables by pointing it at Kim

Kim never flinches

"Go ahead. Pull the trigger. Unlike your idiotic plan, I'll be missed. And we both know Harry never stops."

me: I just think that scene in the alley could end up with Harry intuiting whats going on, that an officer is in danger, so he goes to stop it and- hey JEAN IS POINTING A GUN AT KIM??? AND KIM ISNT??? STOPPING HIM????

rat: HARRY PUTTING HIMSELF IN THE WAY OF THE GUN

Jean having to reconcile the fact that Harry is no longer his, insofar as he was before

me: after a tense second of not moving. jean actually considering doing it.

rat: GOD Jean being like I could just do it. Shoot him, maybe have time to reload and shoot myself after. That might be the only way to truly Hurt Kim

me: kim catches on to that. and for the first time he IS afraid

hes fine losing himself. but losing Harry? he couldn't bear it. he would sooner die

then. all at once. jean drops it

he can't do it. too much of a coward. "GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU!!" punches the wall etc. definitely crying. meanwhile kim GRABS Harry by the shoulders. he's shaking with fury and also something else. "what the FUCK are you thinking-" and Harry cuts him off with "what are YOU thinking? what the fuck was that? what HAPPENED to you?"

Harry means "you two" but kim feels that in his soul

they leave jean to talk after that. and that conversation is not a pretty one

smth smth "I was trying to protect you" "that was too far" "he went too far first. he was hurting you" "so your solution is to hurt him back?" "he wasn't going to STOP" "then let me deal with it!" etc etc

no idea what jean does from there. maybe he actually fucking thinks and reconsiders things and idk grows as a person

anyway after that we get the dinner from hell

harry invites them to a get-along dinner. christ

GOD. THE TENSEST DINNER EVER. TO RIVAL ANY FAMILY DINNER

im just imagining them trying to throttle each other on top of some takeout

harry is yelling TIMEOUT TIMEOUT

composure failure

rat: Harry like "can't we all just get along??" and Kim and Jean say NO at the same time

me: they both point at each other at the same time and go HE STARTED IT

harry actually passes an authority check and scolds them and they both realize how petty this is and its all very embarrassing and Harry is treating this very seriously. fully goes "do you have anything to say?" and they grumble sorry and he's like "not to me. to *each other*"

rat: He only passed Kim's authority because Kim hates seeing him sad

me: slow look at each other. jean holds out a hand. Kim grabs it so tight you hear joints snap.

they still hate each other so so much but Harry is Determined to make them friends

its like. harry is their get-along shirt

rat: Harry like the power of love and friendship will prevail and Kim tries he really does but every time he sees Jean he hears the Kill Bill sirens in his head

He makes an honest effort to threaten his life less but that's all he can manage

me: I do think this could get resolved eventually tho. like harry being put in some sort of crisis situation where his life is on the line or something

rat: Wouldn't it be funny if the situation was something Harry put himself in though

Like getting himself kidnapped by a gang

Like "wow this will really bring Jean and Kim together! ♡"

Meanwhile he's literally tied to a chair with his face bloody and nose broken

And Jean and Kim HAVE to team up. They can't take on a gang ALONE

Jean pretends not to care but he cares so much it makes him look stupid

If Harry actually dies what the fuck is he supposed to do

me: it works but not in the way he intended cause it actually touches on the heart of the conflict is that Jean wants to blame Harry for everything ever and also he does care so much it makes him look stupid so when they find out it was actually sort of on purpose they BOTH GET MAD AT HIM FOR THE SAME REASON

a horrible, deadly pact is formed. harry is now in grave danger

rat: Harry wanted them to be friends. And now, unfortunately, they are

He's never getting let out of their sight again

me: I like to think eventually they do chill out and become friends about it. like outside of all that. maybe jean finally gets over himself and Kim and Harry have a talk about being posessive- lol I'm just kidding those two are codependent to the fucking grave. but still I think they could end up being civil and the death threats just become banter

the competitive streak never dies tho. constantly trying to one-up each other. functional kismesistude

[selfshipgushing]

I have been enabled I am now going to overshare about an f/o

He's actually a friend's OC who (my oc/self insert for a game au someone made in a discord server) is dating. I didn't expect it tbh, but I ended up being so down bad for him. Even at first sight I became super interested in that guy that I eventually decided to make my character in that rp pursue him instead.

(I'm gonna use f/o to refer to friend's OC and s/i to refer to mine)

When f/o was first new in that place, he encountered s/i's best friend and it turned out they both knew each other already and he has been looking for her (s/i's best friend) for a year after she ran away

Anyways s/i reached out to the bestie and said "woah I didn't know you knew that guy" then she winged them by making f/o approach them lmao.

Some time after, either days or weeks, s/i visits f/o's office after work when he texts them when he usually ends work for the day. They go to his room for the first time, and when it gets late and they end up sharing a bed after he passes out on their shoulder because he hasn't slept properly in ages (horrible nightmares) and so they carry him to bed and all then sleep in one of the chairs. But little did they know they'll be spending almost every evening and night there soon, also because it just gets lonely. (For more context everyone here's currently stuck in a cult in the mountains and the cult followers get one room per person or smth, also it's hard to know who's loyal and who wants to get out there so far and s/i's best friend is cult married to one of the cult 'higher ups' but is also in love with said cult higher up she married. She wants to get out and live life again tho. S/I also trusted the bestie after being given and moving to her room and finding a note she hid somewhere that said she isn't loyal to the cult and wants to get out. She's married at that point tho and now shares a room with her husband that has guards watching her. And after that, it's when f/o enters the picture)

Something happens at some point and they needed to get sent to the infirmary. Also have I mentioned f/o is a doctor? So like, he helps them and since they now have an IV and need to rest and their room is a floor away, s/i then gets to stay in f/o's room. He carries them and then they offer to spoon him when he insists they sleep on his bed.

I didn't know it would take this much to share about the beginning alone so I'll keep the next bits short

So eventually they kiss but aren't a couple yet

Then weeks/months later (the timeline is wonky) it's the bestie's birthday, f/o and s/i bake together, get to know each other more, then bestie decides to send a picture of f/o to s/i that f/o once mentioned he's embarrassed of but bestie has the picture, f/o gets curious why s/i is acting how they're acting, finds out about the picture, gets flustered as well. Later on while they finish preparing the food to give to the bestie s/i asks what f/o thinks of being a couple and he says he'd love that. He gets dipped and kissed for a short time and low-key wishes it lasted longer.

Those two are a super domestic couple and also had a moment where they think of s/i with f/o's last name, or f/o almost sending an "I want to marry you" in his language after s/i attempts learning his language and saying "I love you" and a bunch of other sweet things to him

The problem now tho is they need to get out with the bestie (and her husband because she won't go without him) before a grand thing that the cult leader announces happens, that day is fast approaching so we'll see how it goes >:)

I had a dream I responded to this but ig not. this is very interesting anon.

[bwoahtastic]

aww stepmom nico is one of my fave stories on here! seb definitely was rebelling hard, always so vocal is in his rejection by crying, shouting and throwing things nico handed to him. and the height of it was when seb purposely shoved nico into a table and unknowingly bruising him. I think toto would be mad when or if he finds out and wouldve wanted to scold seb, but nico convinces him not to and instead tells toto maybe its time nico gave toto and seb some place. nico understands that seb really loves his dad and is actually scared of having a stranger come into his safe life but nico is also so very tired. toto tries to convince him to stay and that they just need more time, but nico knows that nico and seb are hurting each other and maybe things between nico and toto arent working right now. okay now it sounds like nico is breaking up with toto.

seb doesn't know anything abt this until the next morning and nico isn't there yay! but why is papa's smile not the same anymore? and where are seb's snacks (that nico's been secretly preparing for him all these times)? and post bath rituals arent great because papa brushes too rough... and it stays that way for the rest of the week. and then another week. and then another, until one month passes and papa looks so sad and seb hears him cry one night when he was trying to sneak in some night cuddles. maybe having no nico isn't as fun as he thought. seb starts asking toto when nico will be back, but toto doesn't know either because he tries calling and going over to his place but everything's been ignored by nico.

so one day seb sneaks out to try and visit nico's house because adventure!

Plss! Sebby is just so stressed cos he finally has a papa and now he needs to share him with someone?? Not gonna happen!!! He screams and cries and sulks so much! And if Nico tries to give him a snack or teddy he will throw it away! He knows he is acting like a baby but he is so scared to lose his papa🥺

Nico helping groom seb after a shower and seb growls the whole time and even tries to claw him a bit, and shoves nico into a table at some point... toto is angry ofc hut nico tells him not to be. Its just not going to work out like this, Nico needs to give them some space and maybe things will be better after.

Seb being so happy when Nico isn't there the next morning and lazily plays with a feather the peacock omega shedded (or seb pulled out). He is a little confused why papa looks so upset tho, not smiling or playing and also seb's fav snacks aren't there! Seb getting growly when Toto brushes his tail snd ears after the shower cos papa is much rougher than nico was! It's confusing!

Seb starting to miss Nico and is very on edge. Papa still isn't happy and seb even hears him cry one night! Seb feels so guilty.... he asks papa about Nico but it just makes papa look even more sad and he tells Seb he has no idea if nico will ever be back.

Seb deciding he will find Nico! They have visited Nico's little apartment before (seb broke a vase) and he knows it isn't that far! So he takes a little backpack with his plushy and a plushy for nico to convince him to come back.

Seb ends up getting lost, although he gets really close to nico's apartment! He I'd scared and meows loudly for nico! Nico hears him and knows its the little cub and comes running, and Seb wants upsies! Pls nico taking Seb inside and calling Toto while seb just sniffles and tells nico he needs to come back!

[artist-assassin]

ok i need to know more about ellaria STAT. and your thoughts on rosy + the rosymance !!

RRRRR OK OK but ive only played the public demo so far i havent paid for the patreon/closed demo yet, so i have very little information about the Rosymance in general. info dump and stats below

Ellaria is the humorous / cheerful kinda Button, about 5'5", and she calls her brother Nick-Nack in the game but I imagine she will call him any random number of names off the top of her head (based off of when I played Fallout 4 and I would often call Nick any random nickname like Nicki Minaj, Nickle Pickle, Nickolodeon, Nickaroni and Cheese, etc lol). She has some insecurities because she compares herself to her brother a lot, but she tries to tough it out and beat up her bad thoughts bc she's an unstoppable optimist!!! Stubborn to a fault she refuses to back down once she sets her mind to something. Is a very nice person but gets very socially awkward in large groups, and sometimes lashes out when she gets frustrated by how fragile people treat her (the first thing that made her like Instructor Kim was that he didnt beat around the bush abt her zero but didnt treat her like a kid either!! shes like damn finally some respect around here)

Loves Nick so much (i got like a 160% relationship with him in the open demo lol) looks up to him like her personal hero + mentor. Loves her dad even though it's a little bit strained, has not seen or spoken to her mother in 4 or 5 years after The Incident(tm). but she misses her mom a lot she, she's half scared of her mom hurting her and half scared she will hurt her mom.

I chose the pre-prepared name Ella when I first started playing bc I didn't know what the game was about so I wasn't prepared to like.. make an OC for it until I decided I liked it enough lol. But I compromised by just naming her Ellaria and Ella is her nickname. Here are her stats by whatever chapter is the last one in the open demo (8 i think?)

I LOVE AMBROSE KIM... i played as bisexual in my first go as Ella so i had no idea the genders for some charas changed until I checked the Ambrose Kim tag on tumblr lol. but im way more into rosy as a man than as a woman... Mr Kim u can instruct me any day,..

Like I said tho I don't know a lot about the Rosy romance because I only played the open demo, and I know the author says his romance takes the longest to flower because of the whole teacher/student aspect so he's actively trying to NOT fall for button.. well too bad bitch I'm gonna be so respectable and hot he's gonna have no choice.

anyway im gonna get the patreon this week (friday probably) so i can update u on how i feel soon jhgjhlks i also love all of the characters ngl. i would romance all of them in separate playthroughs.

and u didnt ask but ill mention Kali also, my 2nd Wiseman. shes NUTS. i made her to be the exact opposite of my first humorous, cheerful, ready-to-take-on-the-world girl Ella - so Kali is grim and not nice at all and technically still ready to take on the world but more in a "the whole world is my enemy" kind of way instead of the "i wont let anything stop me" ella way. She's VERY resentful about her zero and is one bad look from a ment away from strangling someone

sorry for the long ramble jhagdwj youre the first person who is talking to me about this game that has become my newest obsession (and u were the one who got me into it so UR responsible for this mess) and im happy to share it w someone :3c

pls feel free to tag me in any mind blind stuff u post, whether fanart or oc art or just rambles n stuff i dont care ill love it all. thank u

[cuppacoffii]

I'd like to introduce these four, my little scringbos, my mippy doos, my blorbobibos, my eebos! information and designs are subjected to change!

okay so I'm gonna info dump a little because I constantly rant to my poly about them a lot and now I'm gonna do it here SO read below the images!

These four! I guess I'm just gonna call them Graves Group cause she was kinda like the group orchestrater and is a very powerful witch with the ability to see, channel and communicate with the dead. She's had that power since she was a very little kid (her scar is from an accident trying to remove that power from herself). These four live in Eon City, Sports has her entire life and so has Silver, but Anon and Grave come from another city beyond the forest.

I kinda already spoke about Grave in my first bit here but she's the daughter of Enchantress Anon, a witch millions of years old who knows the ins and outs of deep, ancient arcane magic and passed knowledge down to Grave. Grave had a hard time making friends when she was a kid, her abilities developed way too quick and she would talk about her encounters with the dead. So while the other kids in class were boasting about what abilities they already had she comes in with "I met an interesting ghost yesterday. His head was torn right off his shoulders, yet I could still speak to him with nothing above his neck." and scare everyone away-

but there was a boy who always found her encounters interesting, her knowledge on every way someone could die, the horrors of the anon body. This boy was named Anon! (I'll explain what anons are briefly. (they aren't related to Tumblr anons) they are beings made of light and stardust with a Material that makes them up (thos material can be anything, Light, Color, Sheet, Electric, Matcha, ect)) Just Anon, he was born with no material, no powers of his own. He didn't have parents, either. just his siblings to care for him. They weren't even really his siblings, they were starchildren, born asexually out of pure star particles. Even without powers, or anything that he thought made him interesting, he was so spontaneous and happy, and obliviously dumb. He liked her, and the things that made her creepy to other people, he too had a fascination with ghost and the undead, but he'd be far too afraid indulging in this fixation himself. Eventually Grave introduced him to her witchcraft, and he became like her assistant!

One day while they were playing in the woods, they came across a girl that was spying on them, and was recognized to be from their classes. She was bolder, and a bit of a bully from what they've heard, but she was nothing like that. She was just loud, and her banter was playful. Sports Anon lived with her mom and younger brother at the time, and had a little sister on the way. She was reckless, a daredevil, a spirit of fire with unusual strength and the ability to materialize sports equipment out of thin air (limited to one at a time. She strayed away from anything spooky or witchy, she made up games to play with rulesets that made little sense- yet the three of them had a blast either way.

They began to hang out a lot more during school, they brought lunches to share with eachother. During one of these lunches, they spotted a new kid to the school eyeing them, and of course Sports went out of her way to sit him down with them. He was terribly shy, and quiet, it was like he didn't know how to socialize at all, but that didn't bother them. He was very observant, and smart, but he had a very one-way thought process. Silver Anon had 117 siblings, and increasing knowledge on combat. When he wasn't home, and training, he found himself loosening up to the others, even if it did seem like he was rude to them sometimes.

But that's when they were kids, and when Silver had both his eyes.

Now, today, Anon and Grave live together in an apartment (no they aren't a thing, Grave likes women and Anon likes candy), Sports still lives with her mom and now her little sister, and Silver lives in the heart of the city, the richest, most stuck up part of the city.

this was supposed to be a short post um ahahA- I'm gonna cut it here but if anyone has any questions or feedback my ask box is always open (please ask me about my characters I am begging you PLEA-)

oh I'm gonna have so much fun showcasing these poor bastards- Coffee Anon OUT!

[polar-bears-making-pancakes]

Sooo.. what did you think of the show? How was it? (Only if you want to share of course!!)

Soooo it's gonna be messy because I'm still reeling from 24 hours without sleep and then 4 hours of sleep during the day and I'm not very good at processing what happened aldkfj

First of all I'm so happy and thankful for all the people who I met up with. They are the best and I had the an absolute blast. I don't know if it's a phannie specific occurrence when you meet people from the internet but we were all on so very similar wave lengths and we talked for hours about fascinating topics and of course dnp. I felt so safe with them and I could talk about basically everything. So thank you so much Kate, Katie, Magda, Jana and Jo <333 you are the best

About the show on its own .. hmm it was definitely a budget version. I'm so sad we didn't get the rainbow lights, the eclipse light and the cubes :( The venue looks godawful from the outside, and you have ultrasound and tile shop in the same building but the inside was quite hipstery and not as bad. Very postcommunistic tho. Also the church, cemetery and closed mall just outside gave very specific vibe to it aksjdjhf I got the cheapest ticket so I didn't have meetngreet but it still felt surreal to be in the same room as Dan. I sat quite far to the back but at the isle so I had not the worst view. Seeing him on stage didn't feel real, I felt like I was watching a video with a room full of rowdy queers. And even if in Poland we weren't really meeting new people and mingling socially amongst the separate groups, sitting in the audience still felt like being a part of some bigger thing. What irritated me were the bar lights that were on the whole duration of the show and kinda ruined the immersion. Also I was cold. About the show's content: wow Dan sings really good, I loved looking at him enjoying himself so much on the stage, this really was his passion project and I felt like he did it mostly for himself but also wanted to give us a good message too. I think I enjoyed the most the part with sending to hell jk rowling, jeff bezos and putin (the scream for him was the loudest :')) and sparing tony the tiger because tigers and endangered. Polish specific madlips were also very good. Bubbles? It was weird hearing it in zloties. And my friends in the front row get soaked. Also daaan we don't have student's depts here?? The unis are free. As a lot of people said before he was really careful about the communist part because he underlined that NOT like soviet russia but like Denmark he said I think? I was very focused on every word he said and was listening to him carefully but I don't remember that. In the calendar part, I'm so happy they have their take away fries days on saturdays 🥹 the time he most constantly feel the most content... And the most important part.. the monologue at the end. The second part of the show was shorter, wasn't it? Because it ended so fast for me. I didn't cry because I'm absolutely emotionally disconnected and can't feel much of anything. But I love him so much. I was looking at him and trying really hard to telepathically convey to him how much he is loved here. The hopeful message is so important to me. It gets better. And we can help someone. We should reach out. We can't give up because even my stupid reblogging of some posts might be the one thing that saves someone. Very interesting to think about virtue signaling in this context as he was saying. I loved when people started cheering after he said he's gay and he was like wow took you so long of the show to realise this akdjdbbfjf and yeah I loved the gay jokes and him smacking his butt multiple times. I was wondering how many people were there randomly because something gay was happening and how many people only vaguely knew who he was and watched him only a bit in the past. Because there was so many references and when he shows bits of his old videos? I wonder what thoughts they had. And the worst part is that he fucking sneaked out so fast before we left the building :((( we waited for him after because we didn't believe when someone said to us that he left already. And I had the train back at 4 am so I didn't have much else to do. Absolutely don't recommend warszawa centralna train station during the night. I'm so glad I wasn't alone. Dan also said fuck Warsaw I don't want to spend any additional minute here bye. Hope he has fun in Helsinki.

Overall I'm proud of myself that I did go even if I'm often scared to leave my house at all. Warsaw show felt a bit like a bastard show added later on with very cut expanses. But I'm glad he went here and I'm so happy I saw him. Hopefully I don't fali my exam because of it

[greypetrel]

7 from the Intimate Moments prompts for Aisling and Cullen :)

Heheheheh thanks!

We’re going a little fast forward in time and overly sappy, for this, hope you don’t mind. uwu

Tis the prompt list

7. Softly smiling at each other from across the room

Dear Pavyn,

I’m not thanking you for your last letter, it was rude and unpleasant and I know for sure your mother raised you better than that, go apologise!

I miss you a lot, I know that repeating this is pointless but really, if you’d like consider bringing the clan down here. It’s really lovely in the summer, and the autumn is painted with the brightest oranges and yellow you could think of. I miss you all and… Well, would love to hug you.

I’m so glad you finally bent your airy head and decided to settle down! Bring Thalia my condolences and all my wishes for the best luck and patience in the world, she’s gonna need a lot of it, with you. I’m so sorry I won’t be able to be there when you’ll bond… I’d really wish to, but it would be better if I don’t travel, right now. I’m fine, before you ask! Fine as ever, it’s just…

Aisling stopped writing, biting softly the back end of her quill and considering how to tell him the latest news. She distracted herself by watching Cullen on the other end of the common room of the clinic, doing the round of morning check-ups for her. She would normally take care of those, but today she felt particularly under the weather, and he had insisted in taking her place. She has instructed him on what to look for and what to do - it wasn’t hard, really, and he could tell better than her when some help was needed by asking and observing. The clinic was his idea, and it took a lot to convince him that she didn’t say yes because she just wanted to see him happy: she believed in the project and worked hard for it, even if it was difficult and even if some cases left her a mess emotionally. Nevertheless, she loved every bits of it, and she knew they were doing some real good; but today, she enjoyed the small pause, the small moment for herself to write a letter back to the clan. No chores to do -save eventually checking on the ex Templars her husband would deem less well-, no Sera around dragging her in some shenanigan, even Dagna in the old barn was quiet. Too quiet for her standards, but she would have investigated the suspicious lack of noise and explosions later.

A smile crept on her face, almost against her will, when sir Kerric -the grumpiest, most headstrong man she has ever seen, and she have seen her fair share of them, shared the bed with one for a start- put up more resistance than usual because he couldn’t see why the lass wasn’t the one visiting him today. It took all Cullen’s patience -and he had to spare- to deal with him and convince the old man that it was just for today, she was feeling well, please sir won’t you cooperate it’s just a quick check and you look fine.

It was heart-warming and irritating at the same time seeing how Kerric has gone from yelling at her and warning the “Dalish witch” to stay away from him or else, to accept her as a healer after she has joined him in an insult match and served right back all prejudices and nasty remarks he gave her, before ordering him to just sit down and let her do her work, or go die somewhere that wasn’t her home. Except, he stayed, as if he was making them a favour and not the other way around. Insisted that she prepared all his medicines right where he could see her “So I’m sure yer not gonna poison me”. With time, tho, he lost bite and slowly, painfully slowly, melted down. It helped him and surprised her that he was around when sir Barnard died - just after three days from his arrival, too young and far gone for her to do anything else than sedate him and hope he didn’t feel pain. Kerric had assisted from outside Barnard’s room, seen her fighting with all herself to just… Give him another day. And crumbled right after, when the friends who brought him there thanked her for her work, even if it served to nothing. She remembered walking outside the house and crumbling on a bench before she had started crying. It wasn’t Cullen who find her, but Kerric, patting her shoulder and telling her that there wasn’t any witch of the wild who could have done more, even with all the demons of the Fade helping her. And from there, his jabs became almost affectionate, and he started waiting to be the last check up of the morning just to have more time to chat and play their bickering game. Last week, during a particularly bad withdrawal crisis, he had asked for her, and just her at his side, and her heart almost melted. Oh, she couldn’t wait to tell him as well to see his face.

But, she was losing her focus. She shook her head, launched a promise that she was fine, she just needed a day away from the most stubborn old man in Ferelden to the other side of the room, when she was asked directly the reason for her abandoning her post and duties, and got back to writing.

See, when a papa and a mama really, really love each other… I’m telling you because you’re finally entering the world of adults, you must know now of the birds and the bees.

Well, I’m repeating it again: please move your lazy ass and bring the clan down here. You have… Well, six months, give or take. Or I swear I’m gonna tell the baby of that time Isene almost caught you with her son and you had to run all the way back to the Keeper’s aravel with just your leg wraps on. I’m serious, so start planning on taking a ship! Pass from Kirkwall and tell Varric the Viscount that I sent you, he’ll help you out.

Uncle Pavyn! Can you believe it?

Some days, she couldn’t quite believe it herself. Others, she was absolutely terrified by the idea. But then she was too sleepy to get up in the morning -such as today- or a particular smell she always liked made her nauseated, and today she noticed that she had to actually ask an equally elated Cullen to please help her to loosen her stays a little, and realised she was bloated and not fitting her stays for a very special reason, her mind filled with tiny little hands and round, cherubic faces full of curls... And her heart melted. She smiled, couldn’t help it.

I can’t, not all the time. And when I can, I can’t take a stupid smile off my face that you would tell me is giving you diabetes. I’m sure you’re gonna smile as sugary as me tho, when you’ll see Thalia dressed in white and smiling bright at you for the ceremony. And I know exactly you’ll make the same smile at my little one when you’ll meet. So, we’ll be sugary and dopey together and will mock each other for it. Deal?

It’s a fool’s errand to ask you how’s Radha, but… If she needs it, remind her that I am sorry and I love her, and that if she needs… Well, you both know where to find me.

Have the tightest, proudest hug you can think of -get some effort in thinking about it-, and please imagine me right there during the ceremony, crying my eyes out and being happy for you. Because I really, really am. Please write me as soon as you can, and tell me everything. I want to know every little detail, from your dress -are you wearing the purple tunic? Tell me it’s that one, you always looked great in purple- to hers, and how many people cry, and who’ll be the first to fell drunk in the celebration! Count one person crying more, if I were there I surely would have needed at least three handkerchiefs.

All my love, you are always in my thoughts.

Aisling (and the still unnamed little shrimp)

She doodled a smiling shrimp in a corner, adding eyelashes on the black dots that were its eyes just to make it clearer that it was her, and put the quill away, rubbing the tip as best as she could on the apposite cloth, before spreading some sand on the letter for the ink to dry. And then, waiting, she turned back on the room. It was a sunny day in the gap between winter and spring, and the light entered white and milky through the windows and hit Cullen’s back, making his hair almost white. Oh, she hoped their child would have his hair. If not the colour, the curls at least. He was still tending to Kerric, who apparently was interrogating him on why did he exactly felt qualified for the task, fumbling to avoid him to take his hand and test his finer mobility. He didn’t yell or got angry, Aisling honestly never understood how come the end of the Inquisition made him so calm whilst it deprived her of most of her willingness to give a shit -or maybe it’s been the three years following Sera around as Red Jennies?

Yet, she splayed her hand on her stomach and slumped a little forward on the chair, collecting her legs up and sticking her feet in the bars under the armrest. Finally in a comfortable position, she felt drowsiness creeping up once again, listening to her husband coaxing sir Kerric into cooperating and get it done, so he could go back to his usual task of distributing chores and activities for everyone, and talk to his wife about who needed attention today.

“I’m not buying it, lad, you’re not a doctor and I’m gonna get visited by one!”

“Yes, I also feel like this is very stupid. But it doesn’t require a healer to guess your temperature’s too high, so would you please follow me in the exercises your doctor gave you? I know you know them, sir. I saw you do them.”

“The audacity of the both of you, I swear. Of course you married each other. What is wrong with her, today, anyway?”

He doesn’t even bother to lower his voice, the shit.

“She wasn’t feeling very well.”

“Can see it, lad, she looks green from here.”

She raises an eyebrow, replying for herself with a smirk. Got him.

“Cullen, check his eyesight as well, if he has noticed that my Vallaslin is green only now, his condition must be worst than I thought.”

There’s a loud outraged scoff, but the jab works in having him behave and, begrudgingly, go along with the little coordination exercise they ask every Templar or former so to do. Too far to see how he goes, and not particularly eager to get up, as the warmth of the morning and the big woolen tunic cocoons her, she fixes herself on Cullen, who nods solemnly after staring at the other’s hand in concentration, noting something on a board. Kerric, tho, apparently felt like he lost the battle but not the war. She wondered if in his Circle any of the younger mages ever dared staying awake past the lights out signal, when he was on guard. She bet not.

“Seriously, lad. Don’t tell her I’m worried, or who’s ever gonna bear with her ever again but… What’s up with her? Is she fine? I won’t tell the others, you have my word.”

It’s Cullen’s turn of not being able to contain a smile: he turns his head slightly, being sure to exchange a glance with her before widening it. Aisling can see the love in his eyes, and her heart swells, making her smile back. It’s secretive, must be so: they will eventually tell the others -Pavyn’s the exception, but the letter will take weeks to reach him- but… Not yet. For now, it’s just between them.

“Andraste’s holy knickers, you’re both unbearable. What’s with you both, today? You’ve been weird in the last week, let me tell you…”

Sir Kerric complains, grumpily, but the two just exchange a giggle, from the two opposite sides of the room.

“She’s perfectly fine, sir, I swear.”

For once since… Well, since a long, long time, it rang absolutely true.

[lostacelonnie]

Surviving is one thing but befriending the alt girls? Now thats thriving congrats on the friend acquisition. Oh yeah absolutely thats super cool of your mom. To be so chill. More parents should aspire to be so chill. Birds are just chill dudes who exist & you can see them & its great. Fuck gulls though. They're nice to look at but will be bastards if you have food in some places. Ive been trying to learn german here & there and it is. Something. Mood but for english. Who needs grammer rules fuck em. I dont know polish so i definitely cant say. You probably mentioned it that sounds familiar but dang. Well it at least wont be as bad? My joke answer is gay sex would be less gay than whatever bronya/seele & march/stelle have goin on. My serious answer is that but also that was really well paced & written. Svarog my bro. Love him. Cocolia confrontation had killer music & the interaction with preservation was cool too. Love fire stelle abilities. Mobile is tough but just gotta fuck it we ball through it. Ill definitely have to add rain world to my list. Dredge is like. Lovecraftian horror fishing sim. Its really neat. River city girls is a simple beat em up adventure game where you fight through town doin little quests on your way through the main one. Real fun easy controls & the soundtrack is real good. Please do id love to hear your exploits. Yeah i have work a lot & so does she plus her kids so i dont talk to mine much either. Im getting to the point in star rail where i am catching up like genshin so ill probably log in less on that too unless more story happens or an event catches my eye. After next planet story anyways. Im not far enough in simulated universe to do swarm disaster sadly. Just gotta. Level them characters as usual. Ps5 star rail gave me gepard which he's good but like. I want bronya

YEAH ITS GREAT and thank you!! we have different groups this year and im very happy ab this bc most of the popular girls im scared of that i shared a group with last year are in the other one now. so im chillen. yeah shes VERY epic hehehehe!!!!! love her. YEAH frfr i agree.... ab the gulls as well i almost got Physically Attacked by one when i was on a trip on an island near alicante cos i was hanging out in the sea and went towards a small island not far away from the shore. not knowing there was a gull nest on it. but i took the hint when one started Screaming at me like halfway through. god i am scared of these things. theyre cool but from a safe distance. and ahhh good luck with learning german!! i took 4 years of it in primary school and still dont know a thing. but its a very charming language so maybe when i get a solid hang of spanish, ill revisit it. tho it Is funny to joke with my friends ab how i didnt allow ppl to germanize me. german was mandatory under the nazi occupation and theres this one patriotic song with the lines "nie będzie niemiec pluł nam w twarz / ni dzieci nam germanił" [the german will not spit in our face / nor germanize our children] but these days its often used for jokes ab having to learn the language. and yeah i suppose thats true!! it is what it is. anyway. YEAH i actually agree with both the joking and serious part andkfnjjb ESPECIALLY the cocolia boss fight. GOD that was cool. i honestly dont use fire trailblazer abilities that much but yes she does come in handy. good luck with surviving on mobile o7 also keep me updated if you do end up playing it!!!!!! its unbelievably hard but like. in a good way. OOH BOTH OF THESE SOUND VERY FUN!! speaking of which i have so many games i wanna play..... but i literally just spent around 200zł [a bit under 46 dollars] two days ago [wait im gonna tell you how in a second]. which actually connects to dye update: i redid my hair since it washed off pretty quickly [but ah i look so nice in red] for the very event i ended up spending way too much money on. and yeah fair rn im actually going onto genshin more often than star rail bc the fontaine exploration + catching up on sumeru exploration is just. So fun. havent played swarm disaster yet either...... no time...... i have a Lot of stuff to do for school recently. its been like what. 2 weeks. and we already finished the first chapter from history and were gonna have an exam soon. which im Dreading btw bc for some reason i went for extended history in school despite being physically unable to remember dates. but hey at least extended geography is easy [so far]. so fuck it we ball. anyway ah congrats on getting gepard!!! hes pretty overpowered yeah but i want bronya as well [i say barely ever logging into the game]. which is pretty funny bc i already got 3 5* things on standard in star rail while being like 150 pulls in and they were two claras and GEPARDS LIGHTCONE. which i cant even use on march since i run her in clara teams in which i need the taunt on clara. Lol. but whatever. ANYWAY ABOUT THE EVENT uhhh you Might recall that i went to like a. con-adjacent thing last year. its actually just mainly for buying merch but a Lot of people go in cosplays. anyway i went this year as well and got a bunch of prints [of focalors, fischl, signora, silver wolf, kafka, and miku], and some other stuff [charms of himeko starrail, silver wolf, and kafka, as well as bronya honkaiimpact3rd and kafka pins]. and a very cute choker. so YEAH for the sheer amount of stuff i got id say its a very good price but i still feel bad ab spending so much money in one go sjdkgkgjh

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

random notes on naddpod c1 ep 70-100

part three of the list of personal highlighs, shared here in lieu of chewing my very indifferent friends’ ears off irl. For whom it may concern.

spoiler warning! you will get no context but still, massive massive spoilers ahead

That moment where Hardwon almost came back as a gnome tho, right after Murph explains how he left that option in as a joke

The wrestling! Jake and Emily rolling the exact same three times in a row!

so much good parents content in this episode! Also Melora is back, I adore her. The concept of an anti-authoritarian deity is so funny. “No don't listen to me! But do. But don't!”

I’m with Emily, Murph doing Elvish is the actual worst thing to ever happen

“I’ve hit a bit of a rough patch in my relationship but that’s okay because I found a book that lets me kill my dad.” “Everything’s coming up Beverly!”

“You can’t tell us your character’s name, Zac, because they haven’t met you yet.” “And they never will!” “Yeah, I kept telling you they’re not going to the Frigid North but you wouldn’t listen.” “I keep heading north.” “I keep telling you, they’re south, they’re so far south -”

Zac’s characters gaslighting an NPC is always funny. *badly tells a bold-faced lie* “Why would I lie about that?”

“Unsheep him immediately!”

Ren’s laughter is INFURIATING

“Yeah, he lost both contacts. Both contacts just shot out of his eyes when he was giving the speech earlier.”

I cannot for the life of me figure out if any of them are actually good singers or not

Pursuit of Dragon Eggs

Zac “unofficial King of the One-liner” Oyama at it again with the perfect character intro: “Mavrus the Unschooled who… forgot this assignment”

Genuinely I just want to be as effortlessly funny as Zac for a single day. Just to know what it’s like to live like that.

Finally a realistic magical tournament - now with bathroom breaks!

-

Mawmaw is back! I love her so much

Lucanis doting on his newfound daughter is so sweet

“We shall meet at dawn!” “That’s so early, can we do like nine?”

Murph doing out of touch aristocrats (the “SilvONE percent”, Caldwell is on FIRE) is GOLDEN. “Ren, keep working on yourself.” “I won’t.”

The Boobs getting Balnor a mechanical tuna that sings Chasing Cars

Also this might be the first time I’ve seen the DM carrying on a bit for so long it actively stalls the plot, and I loved every dumb second of it

Murph trying to introduce Cooter’s new high eleven girlfriend, fucking up and calling her his wife instead, and having to take that in stride

“Nice cape, my champion.” “Oh, do you like it? I got it expressly to impress you.” HARDWON

“It’s fourteen platinum. I know you have many slides to build.” “Yes, this will go a long way to build the parliamentary water park.”

-

Progressively useless shop links

The bit about them trying to get Murph to give up the cliffhanger while on tour is so funny because a) the idea that Jake would be the one to go looking for Murph’s notes while Emily and Caldwell keep him busy when they are literally IN EMILY’S ROOM and b) that he’d somehow have to try to break in when it is LITERALLY ALSO EMILY’S ROOM

Caldwell calling Murph “Daddy Murphy”, “Daddy DM” and “Teacher” in quick succession while trying to get away with some Classic Beverly Bullshit absolutely sent me

“I’m just gonna keep stabbing at the slit… and think nothing of the implications.” “Thanks, I hate it.” Well so do I, Murph, but you’re the one who gave this group an environment with a slit in it that people can push a sword through so. should have seen that coming a mile off

Of course I’d reach the extremely horny part of this episode while I’m standing in line at the supermarket 🙈

I was starting to think that maybe Murph had finally shaken his dice curse, but then he’s rolling for that fight at the casino with the bullywog and the enchanted sword and I think it’s been going on for like five rounds and neither of them has hit the other

“We should play this for real money.” “Have you seen my husband roll dice?!”

“You killed my beautiful boy!” “Mrs. Rosell?” “No, it’s Ilsed! Context clues, everyone!”

“Poetry or whatever the next level of hell is”

Hardwon’s flashback 😔

BABY PAWPAW

“Moonshine, there’s something about you. Things that don’t belong just… find a way of belonging when you’re around.” is such a knockout of a line. It’s so sweet, it almost made me cry.

Followed directly by “Pawpaw shits into your bib,” of course

“Fungus can’t eat plot armour, right?”

CALDWELL. Hot damn the man is too good at this.

“You killed me, Murphy!” “I have to take a bath! I need to go on a long walk! You ruined my night, Brian!”

“This is the hardest work it would be to bully anyone.” “I wrote a tragic backstory for you, loser!”

Running all three one on one encounters as one encounter is such a good move

“Hey what’s up with your hammer?” “The hammer’s gotten bigger, I have NOT gotten smaller!”

“How far were you from the edge, Moonshine?” “Forty feet. […] You gonna take me to the edge, Hardwon?” “I’ll do my best to get you over the edge, Moonshine.” “…what would you do if you were having sex and they were like, I’m forty feet away?” “I’d be like whoa, that’s pretty far.” “But I can get there with a full dash!” And then nobody, DM included, manages to get through a single sentence including the word edge for the next couple of minutes…

Murph’s gleeful “you guys are pissed at me”

“Hardwon, make out with him!” “I’m recording it on my recording orb.” “…who is this for?”

“I’m a falcon. Can I lift Bev up?” “Absolutely not!” “I’m gonna try anyway.” “You are like Link holding up a chicken. Just running with a flapping bird in one hand.”

Not Murph opening the Ilsed flashback with a full minute on cyclical aesthetic trends in architecture?

“Please don’t be hot, please don’t be hot…” “… a young, hot Ilsed -“ “No!!!” Same Bev. Same.

“You wanted to be special, and you are! It’s rare to find someone stupid enough to make a deal with me but with enough potential that I could still do something good with your body, we’ll done.” That’s brutal

Murph slowly losing his mind as his players debate whether hell is really all bad (“the first layer is like super rad”) and what the purpose of hell is “the purpose is for bad people to torture other bad people and it’s bad and it sucks and it’s hell??”

-

I too am weak for a loyal knight and I melt into a puddle every time Jake and Murph run through their Hardwon and Mawmaw routine

Also this seems as good a time as any to give a round of applause for the “dwarphanage” and “dwarphan” puns. It’s so funny it just never gets old

so amused by how both Jake and Caldwell have called Murph Brian to signal anger

41 to hit?? Is that even a thing?

“Well, my cat was sick and I’m feeling spicy”

“This is an insane dynamic for a twenty-five-year-old to be in the middle of.”

Cooter the Berry Boy

“…did you just quote Lin-Manuel Miranda? […] You shoot this beam of red hot light and it hits this thing and it begins to melt away as you give an insane speech that you took from someone who does not exist in this world.”

Jake’s quiet sob of “that’s plagiarism” in the background

“Yes, my name is ‘Luke Earthier’.” 😬

Murph giving his elves super ridiculous names but then hating when the PCs make fun of them is so funny. He fully played himself

But it’s also very sweet how he will just fully accept their dumb nicknames. Lucanus is Daddy Luke now. Pendergreens hasn’t been called by his actual name for weeks.

Zac, who obviously came in without a prepared intro, trying to come up with a two-liner on the fly and somehow deciding the word he’ll be trying to rhyme with is “Juiblex”

“The thing is, Zac, I wrote sketch with you for like a year, and -“ “We know you’re smart. Is the disappointing thing.”

Random flashforward to Apple and Cooter, lone survivors of the apocalypse, in a Denny’s in Shadowfell

“Trees are beautiful and cool, that’s one of the first things you learn as a Green Teen!” “He’s right! Trees are cool and you suck!”

“You get non-lethally Boromir’d”

absolute cruelest answer to whether the NPC was deceived by a 13 deception check: “Hey, man. Maybe.”

Emily forcing ridiculous world building on her DM, truly The Axford Move: “Take that hat off and debate me!” “Alright, you take that vest off!” “…do I have a vest on?”

*threatening reer* is an underrated Pawpaw noise

That cliffhanger at the end of Ep. 88 and the outrage

“We’re all gonna jump you after this!” “There’s so many of us here, man!” “We’re gonna box your ass, we’re gonna mail it to… to Spain!”

“You can listen to people threatening to put my ass in a box on the Short Rest -” “Hey, no. I’m only gonna celebrate your ass.”

“Murph. My hat has telekinesis, right?” “Yeah?” “Can I use my telekinesis to control the sphere that we just received from Akarot?” “…Yeah.” “Okay, sweet, I’m going to fling this Sphere of Chomping Shit Up with my telekinesis.” Murph, apparently remembering in this very moment he’s DMing for Emily “I disguise myself as him” Axford: “Oh no.”

Bev and Erlin pull a full “here at the end of all things”

Jeez this episode is just the Emily and Murph drama hour. She’s leaving her possum! I am upset!!

Cobb’s “would this be a bad time to invite you to my improv show” was perfectly timed

“I assume the horse of Famine is stalking me, so I put out a plate of food for it every night. To be hospitable.” EMILY!!!

“It’s this vendetta that this horse has for me.” “...do you think maybe the rider also has something to do with it?” (this in reference to the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse)

I love how Murph is making progressively scarier villains and the boobs just flatly refuse to take them even a little seriously

“Everybody wake the fuck up, Death is here! Like actual fucking Death?!” is almost as funny as Bev’s “Rise and shine, we’re in the shit again!” from the Galaderon arc

“The horses we ride were all killed by you!” 10/10 callback, no notes

“The end is nigh! Bird for sale! The end is nigh!”

Jake asks Murph to rate everyone based on looks, immediately regrets it when Murph ranks him fourth, after himself

Emily plugging the podcast itself on its 96th episode

Them workshopping Caldwell’s intro rhyme on air for several minutes, then finally getting the recap started only for Emily to interrupt Murph after half a sentence to point out he “says ‘dragon’ cute”

I’m still not over the shock that the “what an honour. what an injustice.” quote is from this podcast. Damn. (Also I somehow really expected that to be a Caldwell line.)

“You must understand, I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure, I can’t tell when people are joking.” Oh the line between Murph and Melora is growing thin

“You see yourself outsmarting Josh and turning his entire army against him, you turning Akarot’s steed into a dolphin, outing Balnor as the witch in the Autumn Court trials... Just a supercut of Murph whomps.”

“Hey man, I know I haven’t said this in a while, but fuck you!”

Hardwon fighting Jaina, Mawmaw and Old Cobb but barely fighting back is just plain tragic

“Peepaw, is this another lesson? Is this a lesson I’m not understanding the meaning of?” “Moonshine, this is because I’m disappointed in you!” Murph is taking no prisoners this ep, noted.

“It’s good. I think you’re good. You’re smart, you’re a great storyteller, and you’re mean! You’re a bad guy.” I love that this is both a joke and the greatest praise a writer can receive

“That is the wraith on the red horse’s turn. He is a dolphin. The dolphin on the bigger dolphin flops. In Hell.” again, NO respect for Murph’s apocalyptic riders

a brief and nearly incomprehensible aside about Meatloaf songs (whose political views WERE problematic but whose songs 100 percent occupy the exact aesthetic of this batshit insane scene)

Murph picked the worst Meatloaf song tbh

honestly my main gripe with Pendergreens is I cannot fucking understand him and that hurts my pride. please this is my second language

.

i love how religiously Emily is keeping Deadeye’s memory alive throughout this, it’s so sweet

Moonshine and Meemaw on the grandma tree </3

“I didn’t have you until I was 350 years old. By that time, I had already lost Marabelle. And here, now I got you. Now I got another sister.” this whole conversation is so perfect, but I really really love this part, it’s so lovely to acknowledge how your relationship to your parents can evolve over a lifetime (especially one as long as this)

Emily’s delight at finding the critter refugee colony in the grandma tree is so pure

Murph bringing back Caldwell’s worst Green Teen creation as a wholesome jamboreen campfire memory

and one last Cawcaw sighting

what is it with the entire d20 cast and fem characters with that half-shaved/undercut hairstyle. legit every time they want to make a fem character particularly cool they give them that haircut

not Murph trying to sus out Hardwon’s deal with Moonshine once and for all in the penultimate episode by any means necessary

“’I’ll just... get another brewsky, and then I’ll meet you... behind the tree in... t -5.’ And then Hardwon does a weird moonwalk away.”

Bev goofs one last time and once again falls from a great height

I want Denny’s “whelp, I’m alive!” as a soundbite

“What are the others up to? Are they in danger?” “... how old are you?” “Sixteen!” “.....they’re hangin’ out.”

"Can we say that what I did to Jaina was a sort of religious experience and counts as a zealous trance” is definitely one of the funniest things Murph has let Emily get away with

“Congratulations, y’all. You fucked in DnD”

.

Jake almost crying in his (presumably) last intro as Hardwon

Murph laying it on unexpectedly thick and Emily struggling to follow that up with the very silly intro she prepared

“One hour [of going down on someone] isn’t taking your time??”

One last Somber Boy Song! and what a song it was, damn, Caldwell!

“He has such a haunting boy voice! It feels like he’s just alone in an abandoned church.”

“No, I don’t intend to join you [in your fight against a god], mylady. You are a demigod. I am a butler.”

“Do you guys think the Gods were scared when people looked to them?” “If they weren’t, they weren’t doing it right.”

“Here’s what I’d like to do, Murph: I would like to blow the Horn of Valhalla, bring out these berserkers, and then I would like to, on the thinking cap, cast Conjure Woodland Creatures and conjure eight pixies, and I’d like to put four of them in the Bag of Holding and use four of them to cast Fly on four of the berserkers which then I will cast Animal Shapes on, using my own concentration, to turn them into elephants, and we can go into battle on flying elephants. .... Just let me know if you want to leave me.” I have found my new favourite Emily moment. Jesus Christ. Her getting through that wild plan so businesslike and then “just let me know if you want to leave me” in that defeated tone took me OUT

underrated reason to bring back an old enemy for the finale: he’s the most annoying and everyone hates his guts

“Hardwon, you take a sick 69 psychic damage”

“The actual God looks hurt. She’s upset, I’m upset. But don’t worry, everyone, it is my turn.”

“That brings me down the same way my old man went down.” aka Jake sends the DM into an emotional crisis with a single sentence.

“You briefly fix his deviated septum.” now that’s just cruel

Handy Andy playing a vital role in the final fight makes me so happy, Deadeye helped! Posthumously!

“Hardwon, you struggle, but you get through the words… Table… of… Contents” cause of death: this

“Your god is a pro wrestler” OH MY GOD OF COURSE HE IS. Emily cracked it

“It’s okay, Balnor. Like all the most powerful things in the world, I knew I was only borrowing you.”

Hardwon coming into Shadowfell with unimaginable amounts of dirty laundry: “Moooooooom!”

Hardwon meets his dad :(

Murph really has the “emotionally repressed Dad” routine down pat

“Thank you so much, I sent [the Thinking Cap] through the dry cleaner’s, so it should be all good.” “Dijuana was killed by the dry cleaners.” “You were not supposed to get it wet.” “Yeah, something screamed in there they said, I don’t know.”

Another Jamboreen! And it’s about to probably get cancelled again with another Pebblepot in charge! Time is flat circle

“You see Cran grabs the counsellor, ‘Are you a Pebblepot? You have to tell me if you’re a Pebblepot!!’“

“I cast Conjure Animals and create... what would a dragon eat?” “It would for sure eat like a sheep?” “Oh no, that feels so cruel!” “But you’re creating it, it’s like... it’s a Beyond burger. Beyond Sheep.”

Of course Moonshine accidentally created a Crick dragon

Hardwon gets a fixer-upper in the Crick

I cannot believe Murph managed to pay off that horrendous hotel room scene, and how! Incredible. No notes.

-

This doesn’t strictly go here but if you go on IMDb, everyone but Zac is officially credited with their silly homebrew DM titles. Like Murph is credited as “Direct Messenger (Dungeon Master)”. I discovered this on a very stressful day and it delighted me to no end.

[spookydust]

heat

paring: aged up razor x reader CW: breeding, biting, use of the word mate, possessiveness, razor doesn't really know what he's doing, heat cycle. gonna say dub con just in case

razor has wolf ears and a tail because the fact that he doesn't cannonly have them is insulting

(this is hot trash because I've never even tried to write smut before) word count: 950

y/n had been meeting razor more and more frequently as of late, she enjoyed sharing her time with the strange boy, considering it a breath of stress air compared to the time she spent compleating her missions and getting thrashed around by hilichurls regularly. she enjoyed the way razors would always pop up the moment she entered the woods near wolvendom. although he wasn't one for words he always seemed quite happy when y/n was around. razor would often bring gifts tho it typically just consisted of meat from the animals he had hunted down. if y/n had been a little bit sharper, perhaps she would have worked out that this had been razors way of courting her and considering she always accepted his gifts as far as razor was concerned she was his mate.

it had been a few days since y/n had last seen razor despite coming to visit him twice, it was unlike him not to show himself to her and she couldn't help wondering if she had upset him somehow. although she knew the wolf boy could fend for himself she couldn't help being worried as she ventured further into the woods than she had ever needed to, to see her friend. it hadn't been too long before y/n had come across a relatively large cave, at first she didn't think much of it and right as she was about to pass it and keep looking she heard a loud whimpering sound from deep in the cave followed by the sound of her name. she didn't even think before she pulled out her sword and dashed into the cave, worried that razor was hurt. to her utter surprise, it wasn't an injured razor she found. instead, she found her friend bent over in pain with his had wrapped around his cock whimpered her name despite being unaware of her presence. at first, she kept silent, not sure what she had walked in on but knowing she shouldn't be here, and yet she couldn't pull her eyes away from his slightly flushed skin, his messy hair or the way his ears and tail seemed to twitch in unison as his whimpers got more persistent. y/n when to take a step back without thinking, accidentally sending a rock behind her flying and snapping razor out of whatever haze he had been in. his eyes snapped over to where y/n was standing and before she could even do anything he let out an inhuman growl and pounced on her, knocking her onto her back. "mate...mate came..." he mumbled out with his mouth pressed to her jaw, his breath hot against her skin making her shiver. "didn't think....mate would come" he continued, his voice holding a strange bitterness to it, "family said, the mate would come...mate would have heat too...need me....mate has come," he said as he playfully nipped at her skin, his hands roaming all over her body making y/n let out an involuntary gasp from how warm his hands were. "razor what's going on...why do you keep calling me mate?" she asked in a shaking voice which only caused him to growl again, his hands stopping there exploring for a moment as he looked her dead in her eyes. "you are my mate. you accepted...courting...need to breed...it hurts" he whimpered the last words as he rutted his hips against hers. her heart sank slightly as she realized her mistakes, even more so to think that he was in pain and practically begging her to help. cautiously she spread her legs slightly for him and offered him a gentle smile. the small action was all razor needed before he quite literally tore her clothes off her body, lapping at her neck. he didn't bother prepping her before he began to force his cock inside her, like not aware that he should have. y/n let out a quiet hiss at the sudden intrusion but she couldn't help the moan that let her soon after, the stretch of his cock inside her was painfully delightful making her loosely wrap her legs around his hips. razor started with a brutal pace, to lose in his need to claim his mate to bother with being gentle. he was growling against her neck as he pounded into her body, loving how quickly she had gotten wet around his cock, the slickness practically dripping onto the cave floor. y/n knew she should be ashamed of the position she was in but she didn't have time to think or care about it with how quickly her pleasure was rising, unable to hold back her moans and whimpers which only made razor go faster "razor has...to breed. wants to see pups in belly" he moaned half to himself half to her. y/n felt herself grow wetter at that statement her high approaching rapidly as she moved her hands to tightly grip his shoulders. "yes! please! it's ok you can breed me! just please dont stop" she cried out with little shame, the hot coil in the stomach growing tighter, finally snapping at one particularly rough thrust. without warning razor roughly dug his teeth into her shoulder as he felt her tighten around his cock. his thrusts became unsteady as he felt himself about to join her. he moved his hands to her hips gripping them tight to stop her squirming away as he finally realised his bite and allowed himself to cum. y/n whimpered at the hot liquid that filled her, allowing herself to take a steady breath and relax. at least she thought she could relax. within seconds razor had begun his assault on her pussy again growling loudly

"not done. got to make sure...breed properly...not done mate"

[hotwings0203]

Meeee. I want a longer version of the voyeur deku and bully kacchan. but in kacchan's pov tho. 💜💜💜👀

My dear anon. You ask and so you shall receive 💓

Pt.1, Pt.2

Tw: implied gangbang, stalking, implied noncon

If there’s one thing Katsuki Bakugo hated more than Deku, it was you.

No, actually, scratch that.

He couldn’t stand you around Deku.

As his childhood friend-or rival, whatever the fuck you wanted to call it, Bakugo knew Deku like the back of his hand.

He knew how he liked his breakfast, eggs runny with cheese and pepper sprinkled in the middle. He knew how crazy he could be as a fanboy for All Might, collecting over 500 antiques of the hero. He knew how he liked spring better because then he could stand under the Sakura trees and close his eyes in bliss while the petals floated softly down on his face.

He knew how he liked to steal your panties and jerk off to them.

He knew that his favorite position to watch him rape you from the front so that he could see every expression while you were filled to the brim with cum.

How the fuck could you be so blind?

Did you not notice the way your undergarments slowly started to vanish, one by one? Did you not realize who’s handwriting it was when you found yet another threatening yet lewd note in your locker? You had to actually be brain dead to not catch on to how he was always the last person out, just to trail behind and watch how your ass swayed when you walked out of the classroom.

But no, apparently you were even more stupid than he thought.

Because instead of correctly matching a face to actions, you thought him, Bakugo fucking Katsuki was the one doing all of this.

He supposed he couldn’t actually hold it against you though. I mean, he was the one slipping a hand up your shirt when you were walking out said door, he was the one who was shoving you against the lockers right when you were about to unlock it and find the notes, and he was the one who tore your panties in two, dangling them in front of your face while you pleaded for him to give it back. He never did, of course, he simply threw them over his shoulder and proceeded dragging you away so he could fuck you in privacy.

But he guesses there wasn’t much privacy if he was being watched all the time.

It was actually pretty typical of Deku. To leech off of what he left behind and try to claim it as his own. First his All Might obsession, then his shoot style, and now you? It’s pathetic, but typical.

He should’ve realized it wasn’t the shadows moving in the corner of his eyes when he was buried to the hilt inside your warmth. When the hairs stood at the back of your neck in the showers, it wasn’t because he was fucking you dumb, it was because someone else’s moans were in synch with his.

But it’s okay, because he knows and you don’t. He knows how the dweeb looks at you, how he sports a tent in his pants when you innocently lay a hand on his shoulder, he knows why your window is broken even though you fell asleep with it intact.

He catches Deku one day. He catches him red handed like the little rat he is.

It was so easy, too, the green haired little shit follows him around like some lovesick puppy anyways. Sometimes he can’t tell if he’s following you or himself.

You walk home from your night classes one evening, when the night is darker than your own shadows and the stars barely dust across the sky. No one else is around, and so you clutch your bag a little more tightly against you whenever you hear a leaf or a start car rustle in the trees surrounding your path back to the dorms.

Bakugo knows your schedule, of course. You take English and Statistics in the morning and save Quirk Training for the evening when you’re the most tired-a stupid plan, in his opinion.

Or at least he thought, at first. Turns out that you’re the easiest to follow when you’re spent and covered in bruises from being thrown against rocks and burned by fire from class. He wishes he could’ve seen you in person when that all happens, but it doesn’t matter when you’re stumbling down the cobblestone path towards your dorm, deaf and blind to any person that might be right behind you.

You just want to go home, he can accept that. Especially when he can so easily trail after you, merely 20 feet away on the same path as you. No one would suspect he’s up to no good from the leisurely way he strolls with his hands in his pockets, and he would bet his entire life that you wouldn’t waste a second to turn around and check your surrounding in favor of hurrying up to your room so you can sleep the aches away.

He might be subtle, but Deku isn’t.

The fucker hides in the bushes and almost crawls like a bug in the foliage after his two favorite people. It’s not even a clever disguise because his hair is three shades lighter than the leaves on the thickets.

Bakugo can hear the twigs snap and rustle as he bumbles around trying to be inconspicuous. He rolls his eyes and turns around, a deep scowl on his face.

“You’re not fooling anyone you bastard. Get the fuck out here right now before I blast you away.”

It doesn’t even take a full three seconds before Deku’s head meekly pops up and he gives a weak smile.

“H-hey Kacchan. Nice to see you here, I just dropped my papers-“

“No you didn’t. How long have you been following us?”

Deku blanches and slowly lifts his eyes to meet Bakugo’s. His mouth might’ve tried to open and refute the accusation, but when he saw the subtle smirk in the latters eye he found himself caring less about being caught.

“Howd you know?”

“You fuckin’ kidding me?” He scoffs and takes a quick glance back at you to ensure that you hadn’t walked too far off. You were still slowly trudging away, an easy distance for him to cross. “You’re about as stealthy as my quirk you freak.”

Deku laughs nervously and scratches the back of his head, also trying to quickly turn his head to see where you are.

“You likin’ the show so far?”

“Huh?” The green haired boy snaps his head back to him, blushing furiously now.

“You heard me. And don’t pretend to be so scandalized, you’re not holier than thou.”

The low voice to an almost predatory tone makes Deku drop the act. He straightens up a bit taller and his eyelids lower, his brows raised in a mocking sneer of some sorts. His lips curl and his teeth gleam in the moonlight, almost looking like fangs.

Bakugo has to remind himself for a moment not to back up a step.

“Yeah, I’m likin’ it.”

“I knew it. I bet you watched us every time we fucked, you bastard. Next time I’ll make you pay for front row seats since that’s where you always seem to be.” He crosses his arms and stares Deku down.

But the other doesn’t cower. Instead, his expression morphs into that of a weird hopeful look.

“I wouldn’t exactly say fucked is the right word. I’d say raped is better, Kacchan.”

It’s the utter confidence and ease in which he says this that makes Bakugo do a double take, his scowl breaking for a moment.

But he regroups. He knew this little shit was weird and fucked up, but he didn’t realize he was twisted beyond repair. In reality, he knew he was actually having sex with you without your full consent but hearing it from a guy like Deku made it so much worse.

It made his heart pound a little faster, while it made Dekus mouth water.

“Yeah? You liked watching me motorboat and fuck her tits? You liked hearing her scream for me, scream to get away from me too?”

And even in the shadows from the trees he can see how hard the degenerate nods his head eagerly like a dog waiting for its bone.

Even though he doesn’t like how the glint in his eyes darken with each vile word coming from his own mouth, he can’t help but go further down this rabbit hole and see how much Deku can take before he snaps-he’s never seen him so hungry for something before, except for when he would be around All Might.

So he eggs him on.

“I bet you got off on watching her struggle underneath me, didn’t you?” It’s less of a question and more of a statement to which Deku confirms.

“I did. I got off so many times I thought I’d have to get it checked out. But honestly, I think you could do better.”

Katsuki wasnt expecting that response.

“Who the fuck are you to-“

“Have you ever really savored the look of fear in her eyes? Have you ever tied her up and really played with her?”

His voice gets stuck in his throat as Deku continues.

“She’s pretty when you fill her up, but I can’t help but wonder..what would she look like with every hole plugged?”

He has no right looking so shy and nervous when such filth leaves his salivating lips. A drop of spit falls to the cobblestone and as Bakugo grimaces and steps back a bit, he realizes that he has not given his childhood rival as much credit for being a creep than he actually is.

“No fucking way. You better not be suggesting you get in on any of this action. She’s fuckin’ mine and I’ll be damned if I have to share her with some useless fuck like you.”

“I promise I won’t be useless, Kacchan. I’ll make sure to keep her moving at all times. She won’t stop bouncing when I’m with her, please, please let me give it a try too.”

And when he doesn’t look convinced, Deku rambles on like a madman. “I’ll even gag her with her own bloodstained panties so that she can shut up and I can focus better. I won’t ask you for her pussy either, I’ll take her ass or throat instead if you want!”

Katsuki wishes he didn’t hear the childhood boyish eager in his voice as he spoke.

He also wishes his dick didn’t get quite so hard when all of that was said.

“God, just shut up already, she’s getting farther now. Okay look, I’ll let you give it a go this one time only so that I can fuck her in peace without you staring at my ass the entire time.”

Dekus eyes light up and he lifts a leg over to step over the hedges. “Really, you mean it? I can fuck her too?”

Bakugo snarls and turns away, heading towards the same path you took. “Whatever, just don’t think this is gonna be a regular kind of thing. I worked hard to get myself a toy and I’ll be damned if you fuck it up for me.”

And when they both join the other towards you, there’s a moment when you glance back that you think the shadow that has been following you this whole time has turned into two.

[thebeautyoffanfics]

Hey there Savi.. could i request a kou,mitsuba and tsukasa x reader where their s/o gets bullied alot?? I've been struggling with it recently and now that school is going to start again im dreading it .. thank you in advance <3

kou minamoto x gn!reader, mitsuba sousuke x gn!reader, tsukasa yugi x gn!reader

a/n: of course!! I’m really sorry that you’ve had experiences like that, but I also genuinely hope that this year will be better! You’ve got this-!! And don’t be afraid to ask for help <3 you’re so so welcome, tho I’m sure schools probably started by now, therefore I’m super sorry for the time this took- and thank you so much for requesting <3

Waaaaaah i’m also sorry if it’s OOC, cos I know Tsukasa’s at least is;;; writer’s block is aaaaaaah-;; I’ve genuinely been writing this since September 19th,,,,

warnings: bullying

word count: 2,044

kou minamoto <3

You glanced at your phone screen, the date flashing up at you. It was depressing. Thoughts of previous years danced in your head, as you shut your phone back off. You currently stood outside of your school, “open house” finally over. School was starting back in just a few days. Your days of freedom could be counted on one hand… this was, by far, one of your least favorite times of the year.

“(Y/N)! Do you still want to walk to the park?” Kou questioned, running up beside you. You nodded, hoping that spending time with your boyfriend would get your mind off of school, and memories related to such. As the two of you began to walk, you could practically feel the question on the tip of Kou’s tongue. He always made himself rather obvious- his hands fidgeted a bit, his gaze lowering to the ground.

“Say, (Y/N)... you seem sad. Is it because school’s starting back?”

You thought for a moment, unsure of how to put it. He certainly wasn’t wrong…

“Yeah, that’s basically it… last year was just… not a good year, haha.”

“Oh? Well, I’m sure this one will be better!! If you want, we can make a list or something? All the bad things about last year can be something we change this year-!”

Despite bitterly knowing that it wasn’t exactly something within your realm of control, you laughed a bit. “That’s… insanely corny, Kou. I didn’t say a terrible idea- just… corny.”

When you glanced up at him, you noticed his red face, as he blurted out an excuse. A moment of fumbling over his words passed, before he gave up, glancing off to the side once more.

“Wh-whatever- I mean, just… like, tell me what’s wrong, if you want to. And I’ll try to help. Alright?”

“It’s really not something either of us can help, Kou.”

“So? I’m your boyfriend,” He seemed a bit embarrassed to say, most likely not used to pulling that sort of card, “If you don’t want to tell me, I can’t make you. But, if you’re alright with telling me, I want to know. Either way, I’m here for you...”

“Ah… I know it, Kou. Honestly, I just… dealt with some bullying last year, so I’m really not looking forward to this year. No matter how much I hear ‘oh, the bully does it to feel better about themself’, it’s just emotionally… hm, awful, you know?”

“Oh… I understand, (Y/N). I do remember some people picking on me, since I have a big brother like Teru- it’s not fun at all. Here!! I’ll stay with you, 24/7! Sit with me during classes, and I’ll hang out with you during free time!” “Thanks, Kou- but we probably won’t have every class together.”

“Then- just tell me if something happens during the class,” He spoke, crossing his arms rather seriously. “I’ll talk with the teacher! Easy peasy!!”

A moment passed, before Kou took your hand, looking at the ground, then back up with you. His eyebrows were furrowed just slightly, his eyes not as wide as they usually were. Kou was being serious- as serious as his sweet mind could let him be. He almost seemed to resemble his big brother even more- when the two were serious.

“If something happens, tell me, okay? I mean it. I don’t want this year to be bad for you- as your friend and boyfriend! Let me do what I can to help, alright?”

You blinked a bit. Kou’s words were so sincere, you felt your heart beat a bit quicker. “A-alright. Thank you, Kou. I really mean it.” You spoke, bringing the boy into a hug to hide whatever sort of expression you were making.

“Of course! You don’t need to thank me, (Y/N). I’m happy to try and help-!”

mitsuba sousuke <3

“(Y/N), if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll give you something to complain about.”

Ah, Mitsuba… he spoke, his arms crossed as he sat next to you, silently noticing your slightly disheveled clothes. Judging by the slightly down look you wore, too many things were now adding up. Something was bothering you, and he was bound and determined to find out what it was.

“Mitsuba, it’s okay, really. Here! Let’s eat, I’m starving!” You opened up your bento box, sliding one his way, and sticking the chopsticks into your mouth. Though you hummed happily, Mitsuba was… in Detective Mode, to put it lightheartedly. Your every move was being analyzed, as he tried his best to figure out what was wrong. Your eyebrows furrowed, as you swallowed a bit harder than usual.

“What’s the point of lying to me, dummy? If you aren’t hungry, it’s probably because whatever is bothering you is ruining your appetite. Talk to me. I’m serious.”

You sighed, feeling as if the food was stuck in your throat. Or maybe your throat simply felt as though it had a lump in it…? Either way, you were painfully aware of the unpleasant feeling. Along with the creeping suspicion that Mitsuba wasn’t going to leave this alone. Was he good at reading people?? Were you just easy to read…? Or maybe, he was just far too accustomed to the way you reacted to things. Able to focus in on the little things, especially when he wanted to. Perhaps it was the talent of a photographer? Being able to read the entire picture??

Perhaps you were thinking too much into it, desperate for a way to get your mind off of the things going on around you.

“I’m just… dealing with some stuff.”

“Well, duh. What kind of stuff?”

You kept your gaze glued to the floor, fiddling absentmindedly with the chopsticks. You knew you could confide in Mitsuba… yet, something about it felt practically impossible. What would happen if you told him? Could he do anything? He was merely a ghost…

“Oi, I asked a question. Listen, and listen well, you idiot- I know I can’t solve all your problems, but I can at least listen- which is what you’d better be doing right now. You listen to me, though who wouldn’t want to is beyond me, so I can at least do the same. I’m not your therapist, but I am your boyfriend.”

Those words danced around in your mind for a bit, as you considered how to put it. For a moment, you simply nodded, letting Mitsuba know you heard- and were acknowledging- what he said. A few more moments passed before you began to speak.

“Lately, there have been some students… picking on me, I guess. It’s… discouraging, and makes school feel like a living nightmare. You’re the only good thing in my day at this hellhole.”

“Oh.”

You tightened your grip on the chopsticks, trying to read Mitsuba’s tone. Suddenly, it clicked- remembering Mitsuba mentioning being bullied for being “feminine” and “foul-mouthed”. He truly, genuinely, understood where you were coming from.

“I see, then… I’ll tell you what to do, (Y/N). Tell an adult, lame-o. I don’t give a flying flip about ‘oh, they won’t believe me’ or ‘what if the bullies blah blah.’ At least try it- it’s hard, but I don’t care about that either. Also, freaking ignore them. Obviously, you don’t want to pay them attention, so don’t.”

“Mitsuba, it’s not that easy-”

“I know. (Y/N), I’ve been in your shoes. Maybe it’s different- I dunno what kind of bullying they’re doing. Still, if you’re good enough for my standards, you know you’re at least worth something. So don’t let those low-lives get you down. I promise you, if I could, I’d give them a piece of my mind. But, since I can’t, just… do it yourself, or something. Don’t endure it, you rat.”

(“Mitsuba, all your insults lowkey feel like bullying-”

“Shut up, stupid-face, you can’t tell a teacher on a ghost. What’re you gonna say?? Waaaah, sensei, school mystery number 3 is calling me names!! Hah.”

“Tsuchigomori-sensei can see you, you know. And he teaches both Minamoto boys!”

“Lalalaaaa, I can’t hear you-”)

tsukasa yugi <3

Tsukasa… knows.

There was no other way to put it. You knew he knew, and you knew he was just waiting. A part of him wanted you to ask him for help- to confide in him, even if it took some pushing. He was… a bit different in that sense- I mean, how was he to know you didn’t enjoy being bullied? Was it the same way he felt when Amane looked at him with such hatred?

“(Y/N)!! What’s with such a sad look?? Did you get a bad test grade?” Tsukasa questioned, floating alongside you as you entered the broadcasting room. You simply shook your head, placing your bookbag on the floor, then standing back up.

“It’s just been a day, Tsu,” You added, taking a seat near Sakura. As you did, she pushed a cup of tea your way, her gaze as it usually was. She looked right through you, as if you were nothing but a ghost. Still, it was a much better look than the ones given by the bullies. Muttering a ‘thank you’, you lifted the cup, fiddling with it slightly.

“If there’s something bothering you, feel free to share it,” Sakura spoke, her gaze staying on you, then finally closing as she sipped from her cup.

“If there’s something bothering you, share it.” Tsukasa added, placing his head on your shoulder and staring at your eyes. His gaze drifted to your hands when you brought the cup to your lips, then over to your throat as you struggled to swallow.

“Runt, if you don’t back away from them, you’ll the the one bothering them,” Natsuhiko spoke, raising his eyebrows at Tsukasa, then offering you a slightly concerned look. His expression was enough for you to know he wanted to know if you were alright- to which you shrugged, reaching up and patting the side of Tsukasa’s face.

“Don’t worry, guys. I’ll be fine, really.”

Sakura pondered for a moment, before standing. “Mitsuba, would you like to walk with me? I should go grab something.”

Mitsuba, who had been sitting off to the side- glanced up, his usual puppy-like expression on his face. “Sure,” He replied, standing up, practically in sync with Natsuhiko.

“I’ll go as well, my lady!”

Oh. She’s doing that on purpose.

Your eyes followed the trio as they left the room, and you could feel Tsukasa’s eyes still stuck on you. The moment the door shut, he spoke. “(Y/N), tell me what’s wrong. You don’t seem to enjoy being miserable!”

“Am I supposed to?” “You’re miserable then? What’s wrong, c’mon!!”

“I didn’t say I was- just that I don’t think many people like it,” You spoke, taking another sip from the tea. The warmth of it made your throat feel hot, but it didn’t help the lump stuck in it.

“(Y/N). Just admit to me what’s wrong, and I’ll do what I can!”

You sighed, not wanting to grow frustrated. Tsukasa was… trying. He just didn’t understand everything- the boy who enjoyed seeing people wear normally unpleasant expressions, of course he wouldn’t personally understand. He wanted to help you, but how could a ghost help? Much less, the ghost of a boy such as him?

“(Y/N)-” “I’m just dealing with some bullies. It’s fine, Tsukasa- I’ll figure something out.”

“I’ll kill them <3”

“Tsu-”

Tsukasa stepped away from you, crossing his arms. “So, (Y/N), you don’t like it when people bully you? I’ll take care of it! Promise!” “Stop it right there, Mr. Only-grants-wishes-for-the-dead. Don’t ‘take care of them.’ I just need to get enough confidence to tell a teacher or something…”

Tsukasa paused, pouting his lips slightly, before nodding. Quickly, he floated back over to you, and trapped you in a hug. His arms wrapped around you securely, making you feel rather safe for being in the arms of such a destructive boy. “Fine. I’ll go with you, then, (Y/N)! I’ll even hold your hand!! And I definitely won’t let those bullies bother you any more~.”

“Tsukasa, please, don’t do anything drastic-” “Whatever you say, (Y/N). You know I can’t go against the wishes of my cute partner~!”

[izukult]

little things with denki kaminari

happy birthday to my love. latest in this series here

—whenever one of you is listening to music, you always share earbuds (or at least offer). you have a shit ton of playlists for situations (bus rides with loser, people in class won’t stfu and we have to act like we care¿?, bored asf) etc. it’s also customary for you to have at least one song rec for each other a day.

—bro this motherfucker has bit you before? how odd.

—he really, really loves to talk. so no matter how talkative or how quiet you are, you two are constantly interrupting each other and it always makes him laugh.

—denki has no idea what to do when it comes to relationships. not one thought is running through that mans head and it shows. when you two first get together, he has genuinely no idea what to say. he’s smooth and casual when he’s not thinking about it, but the second he processes the fact he’s your boyfriend and he’s supposed to be boy friendly, he’s clueless.

—he literally quotes romance movies to try to sound cool. it’s so bad. he sounds awful. it’s horrible. it’s ugly. please, kaminari, i’m begging you. be quiet. it’s kinda cute tho tbfh

—also! he gets so flustered. he would never show you but like when you send a text that’s even remotely romantic he’s done for. that one video of the girl holding her phone to her chest and kicking the bed? that’s him tbh

—after every fight, near miss, or villain encounter all he ever wants to do is spend time with you. even if you’re both just sitting there silently, it calms him down so much.

—speaking of, he freaks out really easily. and he finds so much comfort in you. and he wants to do the same for you. he has a list of things he knows make you feel better. be like that for him or ur a fucking loser

—you’re a big motivator in his training. after all the shit he’s seen, he’s got a lot of valid fear and trauma. so he doesn’t want you to ever have to go through that type of thing, even if you were training to be a hero. he wants to be able to protect you, so he pushes himself super hard to learn how to channel his electricity.

—did you know kaminari skateboards? well, he does! and he is itching to teach you. you two love to go to this little park at night, only lit by street lights and the city. his hands are on your waist as you wobble on the board and he’s laughing at you. teaches you about footing and all the terms (“i’m not gonna be dating anyone who stands goofy, you hear me?” clearly he doesn’t actually give a shit.). once you’re pretty good, he buys you a board as a gift.

—denki is a pretty chill dude. he doesn’t get offended much and when he does he’s never really angry about it. but if someone even looks at you wrong he’s laughing almost politely and flicking his wrist back and commenting some snarky insult about that person not really to them but definitely loud enough for them to hear.

—he sneaks into your room every night to fall asleep with you. you fake being annoyed when he comes in and runs his mouth for fifteen minutes, but you don’t actually care. kaminari sleeps with his head covered in pillows, so i imagine he shoves his head into your neck or back, and wraps his arm completely around you once he actually falls asleep. very cuddly dude. once you complained about how it was too hot at night because of him, and instead of letting up he bought you a 75 dollar desk top power fan and told you problem solved.

—movie nights every thursday. you tried to argue it should be saturday for months, talking about sleep schedules and responsibilities the next morning but he does not care. it’s thursday’s, you will enjoy it. srz

—he unironically wants you guys to get one of those big shirts you can both wear. every time a birthday or holiday or anniversary comes up and you ask what he wants, he tells you that shirt. he begs for you to wear one with him. one time he was sobbing over something completely irrelevant and you asked him if there was anything that would make him feel better and through tears he said “big couple shirt” and cried harder when you said no.

—he wakes you up with a shitty pickup line every single morning. sometimes he looks them up, sometimes he makes up shitty ones specific to you.

—you two have matching bracelets. you made them together one night, he bought a bunch of beads and shit and insisted that you make them. he made yours, you made his. so yea basically you walk around with a shitty yellow and black bracelet that says denki (self projecting as i literally wear that bracelet right now)

—no matter where he is, he always makes sure a spot next to him is available for you, just incase you show up. he wants you to feel included and even if he’s silent about it, he makes sure you’re always comfortable.

—he makes you recreate funny couples photos all the time. like the reaction meme looking ones. his favorite (which is also his lock screen and his profile picture) is the one with that couple making out on the fence and the girls holding the guy up lol. also loves to take really uncomfortable ones that look like posed white people family photos and you’re both just doing thumbs up and standing too far away from each other.

—y’all are so funny for real. like constantly laughing, always having fun, just so comfortable?? such a good relationship i’m ngl would die for it

—he gets a star projector and makes you stare at it with him for hours. for the first thirty minutes he aggressively shushes you if you try to say anything. loves it.

—he’s really good at balancing being a good friend / conversationalist / person to be around and being affectionate. he’s pretty good at gauging what you need when you need it. he’s such a good boyfriend yea <33