#gonna make today a better day :) !
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it's this way! / squirrelpaw and leafpaw
#my art#do not copy trace or steal#squirrelflight#leafpool#warriors#warrior cats#wc#waca#wc art#IM SORRY THIS TOOK A WHILE sufferer of the stardew valley fixation and college u_u#IM GETTING MORE COMFORTABLE RENDERING which is cool but im still testing the limits of what works and what doesnt so .#REGARDLESS I AM SUPER DUPER STINKIN HAPPY WITH HOW THIS TURNED OUT#you are not immune to me constantly drawing leaf and squilf#i belieeeve theres one more coming and then ill be back to regular schedule#and that will mean either silly little/medium to low effort things or radio silence#did i tell yall i have an exam next week for algebra and i have no clue whats going on. its cobwebs in my brain#but other than that classes are going very well and i am enjoying second semester very much. i got to look at daphnia thru a microscope#today which is super fun :-) microbiology is so cool#one day ill plan my posts better since its midnight but i have a feeling yall are gonna eat this up#WHICH SPEAKING OF you guys have been so kind to me :'-) i read all of the nice things yall leave in the notes and it makes me so happy#i always get so nervous before i post and idk why#tomorrow i will put this up on my redbubble if i remember . i would do it now but it takes a while and i gotta get up#at six to study for a quiz at 8 </3 crying sobbing#anyway if the erins want to sponsor me my email is m- * sound of metal chair wham *#thats a joke unless they want to ANJHKFDGB
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28 October / I think it’s gonna be okay guys !
#IM GONNA REGRET POSTING MY INSANELY SLEEP DEPRIVED MUG#but this way y’all can experience the glow up with me over the next 4 months#plus only like 7 of y’all will see this atp anywayaasss so im still faceless on my Main heheheeeee#Btw my hair is naturally curly and I swear the shitty fringe I cut the other day looks better on my curly hair LMAO#but I randomly straightened it today#also usually have a septum piercing but I’m going through a phase where I want it gone LolLl it’ll b back likely#it’s literally still in my nose rn just hiding#proof I went outside !!#october#24 DAYS LEFT BEING 24 TOMORROW HELP#idk y I thought posting face reveal gonna make y’all hate me but oh well#probs bc I been in my flop era too long and im projectingg#also period rn makin me feel so gross but idgaf imma try get back into life#ahahahahahaahaha y m I posting my crusty ass rn idk im silly#also the more I look at these pics the more I hated myself so I’m never gonna look again LOLol#someone make me quit yappin arghhhkfbthtn#ily#hope ur day is slaying#YAKULTII
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P:WotR Portraits: Wenduag & Daeran
I did the one for Wenduag back when I was testing her legs, but today I got the idea to recreate Daeran's portrait image. I think it turned out really well, even if the colors aren't quite right and the pose is a bit awkward.
[reference pics and alternate crop of Daeran's portrait under the cut]
#ts4#the sims 4#ts4 fantasy#sims 4 fantasy#fandom sims#p:wotr#pwotr#pathfinder wrath of the righteous#wenduag#wenduag pwotr#pwotr wenduag#daeran arendae#daeran pwotr#pwotr daeran#wenduag's pose is much better bc I didn't make it lmao.#I need to give wenduag different (short) hair though.#and unfortunately I wasn't able to make hers be underground without either building some kind of cave room or going to the hidden lot.#which takes a lot of effort or several cheats so I just didn't bother. Especially since even then it doesn't match what I had in mind.#I am really happy with how Daeran's turned out though. The ''set'' turned out better than I expected and relight made the lighting better.#I made his pose too. It's not very good but it's decent enough for a quick screenshot.#these aren't edited at all aside from cropping and running my usual smoothing and sharpening actions.#but I still like how they turned out.#I'm typing this at 2am but the post is gonna go up at 2am.#hopefully I actually get to play pathfinder tomorrow/later today...#I did have a TON of fun just hanging out with my dnd group tonight though so I'm not mad at all. We all needed a break lmao.#a bunch of shitty days/weeks all around.#(izzy scout if you see this... 💖💖💖💖💖💖)
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something has possessed me i think bc why am i in the year 2024 thinking about merlin/gwaine but also merlin/lancelot but also gwaine/merlin/lancelot. what have i done to deserve this
#merlin#bbc merlin#bbc gwaine#bbc lancelot#in truth this is not surprising at all#gwaine is my favorite character#and there is no world in which gwaine didnt know about merlins magic#i love the merlin tv show so much#it couldve been so much better. IT COULDVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTERRRR#and no one knows just how much this show means to me#like in terms of comfort shows this is the number one#even though i dont rewatch it all that often#i think about it so much#chat do i rewatch merlin in its entirety for the first time in years#i usually just rewatch my favorite eps#the ones with gwaine as a main character#and the ones that make me sad#i also love lancelot so much and i do kind of hate how the show did him SORRY#when morgana brings him back. love my toxic queen but i cant watch it#to me gwen was always in love with arthur and morgana#idc about actual legends i care about the tv show#one day ill read some retelling of the whatever and WHATEVER#but. i can feel how i want#the way i view the various different ships... its wild#like i can go into depth one day... but not today IM TIREDDD#sorry im rambling its 3am and ive had a rough few days rip#im gonna take some melatonin and go sleep good lord#why does my pc think melatonin isnt a word its literally a drug???? whatever#anyway. ramble OVER i need SLEEP
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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it came to me in a vision. a sign, if you will.
#the sign#the sign the series#chalothorn#heng asavarid#femslashedtiresgifs#one day i'm gonna learn how to make better gifs and then i will be unstoppable#today: slightly blurry textpost
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xanlow doooodle
#xanlow#im gonna do more spooky doodles later today so dont worry#making up for yesterday toooo it'll still be one drawing but i planned ahead for missing days#but ive been very stressed! hoo boy! so i wanted to do a redraw for funsies#it was a really fast sketch i did earlier this year that i was like hey i can do that better now i think#redraws are so fun. this whole month is just me redrawing. huzzah#dots draws
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Im scared ngl. I don't know what to do. I'm hugging you all right now
#i know i said im not the biggest fan of venting and stuff but i really need to get that off my chest im sorry#i hope everyone is doing okay because im scared for myself and everyone#i wanna lay down and not talk but i have school today and i have to present somethiiiinngggg >:[#im probably gonna take a quick break working on art requests to make some other art to feel a little better#im sorry yall#vent post#vent#apologetically rambling#everyone be sure to take deep breaths drinknwater eat something and take a minute for yourself(ill also do this myself)#its good to take a minute#if you need a break take a break#i hope everyones day is filed with at least a bit of positivity <3#imma try and make some silly posts to make yall and myself smile :]#sorry i get anxious easily :<
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Various Doctor Who Stuffies 🥰
#not-so-fun fact: i used to have the red dalek plush but i gave it to a former friend and i regret it to this day 😭#anyway heres a post snjdidis#hopefulyl should be back to making boards soon have just been so stressed out over my kitty#he finally pooed today so thats one less thing to be worried about just hate having to give him his medicine#like i know they taste gross buddy but its gonna make you feel better 🥺😭#agere doctor who#agere dw#fandom agere#stuffies#age regression#agere#bugs alien stuff
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applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏
#took me three days bc i really wanted my dad's input on my resume and he took a while to get back to me#but i reallyyyy wanted to have applications in my monday morning and now i do :)#also feeling much better aboutbthe whole thing now that i have stuff to be excited about#still really really sad abt leaving the kids at my current job tho#but i drove by some of the places i applied today and researched them and im really optimistic about some of them#i even heard back from one already which i was not expecting at all#she literally emailed me like half an hour after getting my application and started asking me questions#like a pre interview#so thats nice#we went back and forth a couple of times#its not my top top choice but that place isnt officially hiring and might take forever to back back to me#this place is a smaller home daycare type place and urgently hiring but the pay is super good and a home daycare environment might be nice#and the pay is pretty decent esp compared to what im making now#the top top place is a fancy pants private school that going to be way more thorough abt references and background check#so they'll take longer to get back to me#but i found out after applying that my friend's mom works there 🤯#so she's gonna ask her to put in a good word for me :)#but they're not officially hiring according to their website it just says they encourage people to inquire so i did#so p unlikely i would get that one but you never know#anyway!!!!#finally excited abt things and not just filled with dread and sadness abt leaving the current place and kids#still makes me sad but im not on the verge of tears thinking abt it anymore lol#this has been a shitpost
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so my big sister is moving out tomorrow and hhhh im rlly emotional about it. so i was distracting myself with genshin and was like "oh i need primos to try and roll for kaveh. ill do some of the story quests i have unlocked"
the one i chose just happened to have a scene with the siblings
immediately started crying
what r the fucking odds 😭
#its finally hit me that they just... arent gonna be here??#i trust the friends shes moving in with tho#and one of them is very similar to novel apparently which also makes me feel better#but also like. even when i lived on my own for 6 months i lived close by and visited every couple of weeks#but now shes moving multiple states over#and im eventually gonna move to the opposite coast#we've never been this far from each other for so long and its just rlly hitting me now that today is the last day#man that genshin story rlly solidified it in my head 😭#ritz rambles
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having the time of my life rn
#im just gonna dump this here bc i srsly cant go with this anywhere else cause my veins are about to pop#going on bsky really making me realize that my art simply got carried by the algorithm and not bc ppl actually like it i feel lol#i crawl back to twt bc im so addicted to the notification pop up there at least there i can feel like i actually matter#everyone has been getting serotonin from bsky but for me it was the exact opposite most friends also dont care for bsky so im just alone#maybe its also just the realization that perhaps there is nothing left for me on this earth#i put so much of my selfworth into the stupid numbers online and now im paying the price for it#my mental health is so bad rn i cant go a single day without feeling like i wanna end it today or i wont live past my 30s nor that i even#WANT TO live past my 30s my passions are gone dont have goals in life anymore like whats even the point maybe this really is the final#nail in the coffin for me lol i dont even think anyone cares for me beyond a personal surface level not even my family im so done with lif#im so eaten up by jealousy in every aspect of my life and i have had to bottle it up for so long bc nobody actually gives a shit even if i#openly talked about it to whoever how its making me miserable but its always the “just think about the good in life :)” there is none#i honestly wished for several years i shouldve been dead or at least not exist physically anymore and it was only the clout online that kep#me alive for better or worse but now im starting to believe this was all jsut lies too lol ngl i just wanna crawl into a hole and never ge#back out of it anymore i dont think anyone would even miss me anyways lol
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This scanned really really badly but I had to draw Ander forcing Mats to reenact this video with him because I think he would think it was the funniest thing ever
#this scanned so so badly i have GOT to get a better scanning system than my 10+ year old ipad and the desk lamp ://#still not settled on my ander design augh but at least this is something#mats seems to be settled pretty consistently though which is nice! maybe by the end of the semester i will be able to make some proper post#ander my babygirl <3 glad at least one of them has a sense of humor they're gonna need that#however this is definitely post-canon no way in hell ander would be making this joke with mats for most of the actual story :')#perce rambles#dragonkingposting#scribblings & such#okay i have done enough creative things for today methinks it's time to sleep#got to get the most out of my one silly day of the week before i go back into the grad school mines#i was tempted to see if i might receive a conlang vision for the text but alas i did not wait around to find out. perhaps someday#<- this whole story's worldbuilding has to be received by divine vision (dissociating) because i'm being too extra about it
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GUYS BEFORE I GO TO BED I GOTTA SAY TO Y’ALL-
HAPPY THANKSGIVING 🦃🦃🫶🫶💥💥💖💖
(I’m so sorry I didn’t post art for today!!! I mostly spent the day at my grandparents house (they make BOMB ass turkey sandwiches btw love ya’ Grandma 😎🤟) but I just wanted to make a post to show some appreciation!!! I hope you guys like it 🫶🫶)
*EHEM*
First I wanna list some things I’m grateful for *pulls out list comically*:
My parents who gave birth to me
My brother/sibling who can be an asshole but I love him
D O G
Irl friends who appreciate and love me and I love em 10 times more back I could hug every single one of them
OF COURSE Tumblr Mutuals/friends :D (You guys are the best I’m gonna mention you last)
Food I’m provided
School that I can attend too
ME BEING ABLE TO DRAW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY….being able to B R E A T H E (existing- I love being able to exist as I do-)
That was my little list for what I’m Thankful for…AND NOW TO LIST MY FRIENDS/MUTUALS CUZ I LIVE WHO YOU ARE AND I’M THANKFUL TO HAVE YOU 💖💥💖💥💖💥💖💥💖💥
Gather everyone:
@linhfoxmoive @moon9931 @noodletime @ijusthavefun @boogiestronic80s @zedortoo @cherryxsapphic @lucia-the-mii @alaskacoolkid1 @marclef @fluffygiraffe @nomlioart @kate-bot @lord-yiikes @remaking-machine @lovestryke @dingle-dee AND @w00den-h3ad
OKAY I THINK I GOT EVERYONE-
Anyways, to ALL….Have a Happy Thanksgiving 💗🫶💗🫶💗🫶
Have a good night/day ❤️❤️
#Happy Thanksgiving!!#(So sorry for earlier I was gonna edit it but posted it by accident-)#Anyways to anyone I might’ve missed I’m so sorry!!! I hope I got everyone!!#Everyone is special and I hope everyone is grateful for today 💗💗#(If you had I rough day I hope a virtual hug will make you feel better ❤️🩹 *Hugs you with consent*#For the rambling I’m sorry but I wanted to express my feelings-#I hope (again) everyone had a good day or has a good day#Thank you Lin for tagging me as well I’m gonna reblog the post in a second#To everyone I tagged I hug you 💖💖
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me: despite being really sick I am gonna get some good footage for making gifs today :) hospice: so she's begun the transition to end of life
oh, i see
#so this is prob gonna be a real hiatus and a longer one#as an aside this is my mother-in-law whose been in hospice since jan#there is no surprises or anything it is just life#prob queue up a few hundred posts the next few days so if you see me spam liking things no you didn't#tw: death#tw: hospice#she could still bounce back I was gonna make fun of her today for her silly postage mix up#we've been getting along soooooo much better since she moved out jfc#misadventures with aes
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I have another gig in a week and I'm so nervous 😭 I get paid hundreds of dollars for only five hours of work, but it is so nerve-racking and the work environment is so stressful, like literally every time I'm there I'm on the verge of tears or I have to take a 2 minute break before the show starts just to run to the restrooms and cry bc I get so stressed out. And then when I clock out I just cry my eyes out in my car while driving home. But hey!!! Hundreds of dollars!!! For five or six hours of my time!!! Only a few days a month!!! Hundreds!!! Of dollars!!! So it would be totally stupid to quit.
I wouldn't have been able to afford pampering myself on my last two F/O anniversaries (and currently placing an order for a rose bouquet for Six's anniversary for the 18th) if I didn't have this second job... but if it didn't pay me such a large amount of money each time, I probably would have quit by now bc it makes me so damn anxious. The show isn't even for one week and I'm sitting here stressing about it! I have one thousand other things to stress about and this job shouldn't be one of 'em 😤
I just keep trying to think about Ken hugging me while saying "Aw, sweet girl, don't be nervous! You JUST started this job, you've only worked three shows -- you think you're gonna be perfect your first try?? You're gonna be so good once you get the hang of it. Just look at me! I've been doing Beach for 62 years now, and I still don't know what my job is supposed to be... but I know I look So Cool™ 😎"
#my god i love ken SO MUCH i am so grateful to have an F/O who brings me comfort when im anxious#and grateful i am not as numb as i was three weeks ago#i am still struggling to self ship like i used to - and i think i always will bc of [gestures to 2023] - BUT#the fact that i thought of ken and felt some relief is a rly good sign bc three weeks ago i felt *nothing*#i am depressed and miserable as fuck today but he still gave me a crumb of comfort. THATS SOMETHING ✨#woof#plus I'm gonna be able to meet a TF voice actor in September bc of this job#I'm gonna give him my charms... and... say I liked his character...#and maybe it'll make me feel better around that character. or maybe it won't. but it's worth a try!!!#and how cool is it that I get to work in a place where so many big celebs do their shows?? and MEET them???#one day I wanna meet John Legend if he comes back again and tell him I LOVED him in La La Land 🥺#This job is impossible to get hired for unless if you have connections bc it's so... idk the word. fancy?#that's not the word but it's a Big Job and I am SO STRESSED MY GOD#but I'd be wasting opportunities if I didn't keep trying at least for a few more months#and if I gotta cry my eyes out in the parking lot after my shifts that's fine as long as I work the full five to six hours#I'm celebrating *THREE* F/O anniversaries in September which is ALSO MY BIRTHDAY#so I'm gonna need the extra cheddar to absolutely spoil myself. Officer K and Driver are two big main F/Os#and I still haven't celebrated my Barbie/Ken anniversary as much as I wanted#so!! I!! will!!! tough it out even though this job makes me cry. give me that money#I am stressed every day of my life bc I have a Complex Stress Disorder you might as well pay me hundreds to be stressed
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