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sitkowski · 8 days ago

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everyone deserves the flames ( jolly karlsson x nick folio )

pairing: nick folio x jolly karlsson cw: 18+ MDNI ⚠️ marking/biting (some mentions of blood), daddy kink, praise kink, body worship, kink negotiations, bondage, masturbation, a little bit of spanking, a little bit of hair pulling, rimming, anal sex, come marking. i suppose a warning for nick folio’s back could be a thing… word count: 4k author's notes: this is just purely self indulgent. title comes from "champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends" by fall out boy. divider by @strangergraphics 🩷

⇉ masterpost || taglist signups || riptide verse masterpost || read on ao3

Never let it be said that Jolly isn’t a saint sometimes. Because Bryan has given him a stack of old proofs to look through while going through boxes of stuff, and the one on top happens to be one of Nick. It’s something from before they were dating, he doesn’t think the timeline is really important as he’s too distracted by the photograph itself. Nick being shirtless on stage was never a new concept, and he’d seen pictures before. He once had to keep him in that part of his brain marked ‘friend’ so he never really looked at them like he is right now.

It’s not a view he ever gets from his place on the stage. But it’s captivating; he can see the way Nick’s muscles are moving beneath his skin as he plays, head dipped down. Bryan had even captured the shine of the sweat that had clung to Nick’s back, droplets rolling down his spine towards his waistband. It almost feels wrong to think of how Nick has grown up and filled out since then, but he can see it. Jolly can’t seem to look away. If Nick is weak for his hands, then this is the part of Nick that Jolly is weak for.

“You know that paper isn’t waterproof, right?”

Bryan’s voice cuts through Jolly’s thoughts and he blinks up at him, a little dazed, “What?”

“I’m just saying, I can’t tell whether you’re gonna drool on it or jerk off over it. Give it back.”

Jolly makes a face at him and he shuffles the pile of pictures to a shot of Nicholas backstage before finally handing them over. “I wasn’t gonna—it’s a good shot, is all.”

It sounds lame, even to his own ears. And he shouldn’t even be this affected by something like this because he sees Nick’s back all the time; when he’s out in the garage working on his bike and wants Jolly to keep him company, when he’s mowing the lawn and he’s got his shirt tucked into the back pocket of his shorts. When he’s got him bent over—

Okay, maybe Jolly isn’t a saint at all.

Bryan whacks him with the photos. “Stop it. Seriously, if you’re gonna lust after your boyfriend, do it on your own time! Do not get a boner on my sofa.”

A few hours of Bryan distracting him is probably exactly what he needs, and once he’s helped get a few more boxes organized he’s able to go home. Nick’s out for a few hours, and Jolly takes advantage of the empty house. He takes a long hot shower and then puts on a pair of sweats before he makes a mug of tea and then grabs the book he’s been reading. But the pages don’t hold his attention like he hoped they would. Maybe it would be different if he were thinking about the music they would soon begin recording, but that isn’t where his mind is at.

Jolly would be annoyed with himself, but he’s allowed to lust after his boyfriend if he wants to. And if Nick were here, he’d want to know all about these thoughts that Jolly’s having, and he’d be encouraging him to act on them. Jolly almost grabs his phone and texts him to come home, but decides against it. Instead he puts aside his book and palms himself over the top of his sweatpants. Slowly at first, and then more insistently as he starts to get hard. He’s not in any rush but he can feel frissions of heat crawling up his spine.

Slouching lower in the chair, he pushes his sweats down his thighs, spitting into his palm before wrapping his fingers around his cock and giving himself a few rough strokes. When he closes his eyes, he sees Nick behind his lids, clear as day as if he were in the room with him right now. Letting out a quiet moan, he slows down a little, twisting his wrist at the end of each stroke. Everything playing out behind his eyelids makes his entire body hot all over, and he knows that this isn't going to last long. But no one is here to judge how embarrassingly close he is to coming. He jerks himself off faster, imagining that it was Nick's hand instead. Maybe even his mouth. The image of tying him down to their bed and marking him up, coming all over Nick's back, that's what pushes him over the edge.

He’s barely got his breath back when his phone rings on the arm of the chair. The ringtone is Nick’s and he doesn’t even bother to disguise what he was doing as he manages to pull up his sweatpants and answer this call.

“I see you’re having fun without me?” Nick asks by way of greeting. Jolly wipes his hand on the leg of his pants. “What’s got you all worked up that I’m not there to take care of, honey?”

Jolly can hear that he’s obviously driving and talking through his truck’s bluetooth, and it makes him hope that he’ll be home soon. “Just thinking about you.”

Nick’s laugh filters through the phone, “Oh yeah? You got plans for me, daddy?”

“You better be alone in that truck, Nick.”

“You’re the one answering the phone all out of breath and shit,” Nick says. “But I am, yeah. Do we need anything before I come home? I should be there in like an hour.”

Jolly thinks about the half formed idea he’d had just a little while ago, and he’s still thinking about that damn picture. It gives him an even bigger idea, one that he knows Nick will be all for once he explains it to him.

“Rope.”

Through the phone, Jolly can hear Nick’s quick intake of breath and he wishes he could see whatever look is on his face right now just hearing that one request. “Okay, yeah.”

Nick hasn’t met one of Jolly’s kinks that he hasn’t liked yet.

He doesn’t just jump Nick as soon as he gets home, as tempting as it is. He’d thought for a brief second that Nick would be a smart ass and go to the hardware store for rope but he actually comes in with a black bag from a local high end sex shop, and Jolly already knows there’s more than just rope in there. He’s whistling as he puts the bag on the kitchen counter, and Jolly is stupidly in love with this man.

Nick comes over to where Jolly’s sitting and drops down into his lap. The bill of his hat bumps against Jolly’s forehead when he tries to kiss him, and he laughs before turning it backwards so he can lean in to press his lips to his. Jolly hooks a finger beneath the chain around his neck, keeping him close. His other hand slides beneath Nick’s jacket and his t-shirt, to press against the warm skin of his lower back. Nick immediately presses closer to him.

“So,” he drapes his arms over Jolly’s shoulders. “How did you get from helping Bryan to me bringing home some admittedly expensive jute rope?”

“It’s your fault, you know?”

Nick gives him an incredulous look while trying not to laugh, “My fault? Pretty sure you were the one here jerking off without me while I was out. Please tell me how this is all my fault, Joakim.”

He’s shrugging out of his jacket while talking, not even bothering to get up off of Jolly’s lap as he leans back to toss it on the sofa. Jolly has to grab onto his waist to keep him from falling. His eyes immediately go to where Nick’s shirt has ridden up, and he digs his fingers into the exposed skin.

“You know how you’ve got a thing for my hands?” he asks.

Nick nods as he reaches down to bring up one of Jolly’s hands, lacing their fingers together. “I’m well aware of my obsession, yeah.”

“I was going through some pictures at Bryan’s and well, there was this picture of you, from behind your kit and you were playing shirtless and I just kept staring at your back—”

“And Bryan had to get out the hose because you were drooling over his prints?”

Jolly rolls his eyes at him. “He took them away because apparently the paper isn’t waterproof, but that’s irrelevant. But I did get an idea, if you’re into it.”

“If it’s you, I’m always into it, Jolls,” Nick murmurs, leaning in to brush his nose along Jolly’s. “Tell me your idea.”

Sliding his hands back up under Nick’s shirt again, Jolly tugs him closer. “I want to mark you. Not anything permanent or dangerous, but I want to tie you down to the bed and mark up this lovely back of yours until you’re begging me to touch you literally anywhere else.”

He can see how his words affect Nick; the way his eyes darken and the way his lips part in surprise at Jolly’s answer. He didn’t seem to be expecting that. Jolly can’t resist the urge to lean up and kiss him again, catching his bottom lip between his teeth and nipping gently. Nick moans and tries to chase Jolly’s mouth when he pulls away.

“So that’s a yes, then?” Jolly asks.

Nick gives him a look before dragging himself out of Jolly’s lap. As he backs away from him, he starts stripping out of his clothes, leaving them in a pile as he goes. He makes a stop in the kitchen to grab the bag from the counter, before making his way down the hall to their bedroom, naked.

“Well?” he glances back over his shoulder. “Are you coming, or was that all talk?”

Jolly’s gonna tie him down to that bed and never let him up again.

He gets up and follows him, finding Nick rifling through the bag and pulling out the rope that he bought. It’s a deep forest green, which is probably the most unsurprising thing to him. He gazes at Nick greedily as he undoes the packaging, winds some of it around his wrist and tugs on it a little as if he’s trying to get a feel for it. Jolly’s pretty sure he’s gawking at the way it looks against his skin, especially when Nick snaps his fingers in front of his face to get his attention again.

“This was your idea, honey, start telling me more about it,” he suggests, pulling the rope from around his wrist and passing it to Jolly. “Where do you want me?”

Jolly clenches the rope in his fist so hard his knuckles turn white. Reaching out he gently grasps Nick’s cheeks between his fingers and kisses him, slow and a little dirty. Nick moans against his mouth, whining when he pulls back before it can become anything more.

“Get on the bed, on your stomach. Put your arms out towards the headboard.”

Nick does as he’s told, and when Jolly picks up the bag he finds the safety shears that are needed for the rope inside. He doesn’t bother to look at anything else, setting it aside as he walks around the bed where Nick’s waiting for him. He’s really glad that he paid attention when Nick was teaching him how to tie knots, it comes in handy now as he winds a length of rope around one of Nick’s wrists, ties it off tight enough to keep him in place and then wraps the opposite end around the headboard.

“Is this comfortable?” he asks, and Nick nods, turning his head to the opposite side so he can watch as Jolly comes around to tie his other wrist.

He doesn’t bind his ankles, and after he’s done with his wrists, he stands back and stares for more than a few minutes. The rope suits him perfectly, and Jolly’s eyes trail down his shoulders and back, and up again. Nick, to his credit, stays perfectly still. He keeps his head turned to the side but doesn’t so much as twitch. Not at first. But eventually, he does twitch. His shoulders flex, he turns his head the other way. He doesn’t complain though.

Jolly finally moves, tapping the back of one of Nick’s legs and watching as he wordlessly opens them so Jolly can kneel between them. He reaches up, lightly running his fingers up and down Nick’s spine, watching in fascination as goosebumps break out all over his skin. Up by the headboard, Nick’s hands clench into fists, and Jolly lets out a little chuckle.

“Aw pretty, I haven’t even done anything yet.”

Nick huffs out a laugh, “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Afraid?” Jolly curls his body down over his, blanketing him completely. He can feel the way Nick’s breath hitches in his chest and he tries to squirm beneath him but can’t get very far. If he wanted to get out of the ropes, all he’d have to do was pull hard enough. The safety shears were right on the nightstand in reach for both of them. “I’m not gonna scare you. I’m going to make you lose your fucking mind.”

“Same thing,” Nick says, his voice coming out on a moan as Jolly presses a soft kiss to his shoulder. “I’m okay with that, by the way.”

Jolly knew he would be. He moves a little further up to the expanse of Nick’s throat on the side where there isn’t a tattoo, and he sinks his teeth in, hard. He doesn’t let go right away, clenching his jaw until he feels Nick trembling beneath him, breath coming out in fast pants. When he lets go, there’s a perfect circular indentation of his teeth and Jolly can already guess it’s going to be a great bruise.

“Again.” Nick says.

“Patience.” Jolly leans back and slaps his ass. Nick’s whole body jerks and Jolly freezes. He’s never done that before. “Was that okay?”

Nick tries to turn his head so that Jolly can see his face. “Do it again.”

Raising his eyebrows, Jolly hits him again, a little harder than before. Once more and then two more times in rapid succession. Nick lets his head fall forward, pressing his face into the bedding to stifle the cry that falls from his mouth. Immediately, Jolly reaches up and slides his fingers into the longer part of Nick’s hair, pulling his head back up.

“Oh no, I want to hear every sound you’re gonna make.”

Nick lets out a choked noise and nods. Jolly lets his hand slide down to the top of Nick’s shoulder, dragging his nails down all the way to the curve of his ass. Once, and then again on the other side. He bends down and presses his mouth between Nick’s shoulder blades, listening to the way he gasps and whines. He tries to move beneath Jolly, but can’t get any kind of leverage or friction. Jolly digs his nails in harder, bites down a little more.

He leaves a trail of hickeys along the expanse of Nick’s back, ignoring the absolute feral urge to try and spell out his name and make Nick his in every way he can. Instead, he moves further down the bed and bites down on the fleshier part of his side, putting a hand to the middle of Nick’s back to keep him from thrashing around as he worries the skin between his teeth.

“Fucking fuck!” Nick shouts, and there’s an edge of pain in his voice that almost makes Jolly let go. Almost. “Any deeper there and it’s gonna be permanent.”

That’s a thought that Jolly files away for later, finally letting go and moving back up Nick’s body to kiss him. Nick leans up into it as much as he can, and the headboard creaks a little as he tugs at the ropes. Not enough to get free. Jolly is still dressed and he rocks his hips against Nick’s ass, knowing that the fabric of his sweats is rubbing against the reddened handprints on his skin.

“How are you feeling?” Jolly asks, and Nick lets out a laugh that sounds a little delirious.

“Like you’re not done with me yet.”

He isn’t wrong. Jolly kisses the bridge of his nose before moving back and picking back up where he left off; he leaves little stinging bites from the nape of Nick’s neck down to his ass, teeth sinking in a little harder wherever they can. Nick’s making all sorts of sounds above him, and Jolly gives his leg another tap.

“Up on your knees for me, pretty.”

Nick whines under his breath and shuffles up as best he can. His hands fist in the bedding below, head hanging down between his shoulders. Jolly can see how hard he is, but he doesn’t touch his cock. He brings a hand down swiftly on Nick’s ass, hitting the bite marks, scratches and previous handprints that litter his skin. He digs his fingers into his flesh with both hands, spreading him open. He licks over Nick's hole once, then again in broad, flat strokes. He can feel it when Nick whimpers and rocks back against his mouth impatiently. Jolly gradually presses his tongue in to open him up, and he hears Nick while his name desperately.

The noise he lets out when Jolly stops and lifts his head is obscene, “Why’d you stop?”

“I need to get the lube.”

Huffing out a breath, Nick somehow manages to get to the drawer of their nightstand. Jolly watches in amusement as he fishes the bottle out and throws it awkwardly in his direction, glad he’d decided to give a good amount of length on the rope. Nick resumes his position on the bed, this time dropping down onto his elbows so he can fists his hands in his own hair.

He lets his tongue dip back inside Nick again, fingers digging bruises into the backs of his thighs and his ass as he holds him open and presses in deeper. He wishes he had more hands so he could get his hands back on Nick's back, but this is just as good. He thinks about what Nick said about permanence with him biting him. He wouldn't mind sinking into Nick's skin and living there, letting himself be carried around on Nick's body like another tattoo.

Nick tugs at the ropes insistently, "Jolls, please, I need you to—daddy, c’mon—give me more than this.”

As much as Jolly would like to keep teasing him like this, so much saliva running down Nick’s thighs that he probably won’t need any more prep, he also needs to be inside of him. He shuffles up and pushes down his sweatpants, grabbing the lube to slick up his cock. Nick is slowly rocking back and forth in front of him, and Jolly can see hints of abrasion marks on his wrists. He plants a hand in the middle of Nick’s back, sliding it up until he can get a grip on the back of his neck.

He takes his time working himself into Nick, letting him feel it. He sees Nick’s hands move and he twists his fingers into the rope, holding on tight. When Jolly finally sinks home, he chokes out a sobbing moan, and Jolly has to press his forehead into the top of Nick’s spine and just breathe.

“There’s my good boy,” he murmurs into the skin and Nick shakes beneath him. “Are you ready?”

“I—yeah,” Nick nods rapidly.

"Can I move?" Jolly asks.

"If you don't, when I get out of these ropes you're gonna be sorry."

He rocks his hips back into Jolly as if he could take him deeper somehow. Jolly doesn't have it in him to remind him that he could get out of the ropes easily if he wanted to. Instead he leans back and thrusts, slow and deep, wrenching every sound he can out of Nick's chest. He brings his hand around to cup Nick's throat, fingers slipping against sweaty skin as he grabs onto his hip with his other hand, trying to get deeper, pull him closer.

“Can I touch myself?” Nick asks.

Jolly hums, nipping at his shoulder. “I don’t know, can you?”

"Oh fuck you," Nick mutters, but manages to get one hand free with no problems. He makes an incomprehensible noise when he gets his hand on his cock. "Joakim, I need—”

“I know pretty, I know. I’ll make it good for you.”

“You always do,” Nick manages, pressing the back of his head into Jolly’s chest.

He knows exactly what Nick needs without him needing to say. He snaps his hips into his harder, faster, and his vision goes a little blurry with the way that Nick clenches around his cock and he practically wails. Jolly bites down on his neck again, harder this time and feels the skin break. He tastes Nick's blood on his tongue at the same time that Nick comes all over his fist. He pulses around Jolly, and that's enough to push him over the edge. He pulls out, just enough to come all over Nick’s lower back and ass. His cock slides through the mess and Nick gasps for air, reaching back to wrap a hand around Jolly’s hip, keeping him close.

"Are you okay?" Jolly asks finally, voice coming out ragged. He touches the bite mark on Nick's shoulder lightly, skimming the edges. Nick hisses out a breath but stays still. "This looks like it hurts."

Nick laughs a little, "It all hurts. I’m okay though."

"Hold still for me," Jolly murmurs, licking over the bite mark and tasting blood and sweat mingled together. Nick twitches but lets him do it. "Don't move, okay?"

Nodding, Nick watches him as he tugs up his sweatpants that he never actually got off and moves off the bed. He uses the safety scissors to cut Nick's other wrist free, and gently gives him a push so that he'll lay back on his stomach. The first thing he does is check Nick’s wrists, which while they are reddened from the rope there isn’t any blood. He knows that the bite mark on his shoulder is probably the worst of it all.

But Nick’s back is a mess of scratches, bites and hickeys; he looks well and truly mauled and it’s obvious some of it’s going to be bruised in a few hours. Jolly ignores that caveman part of his brain that’s proud of marking him up like that and instead cleans him up as best he can before pulling him off of the bed and into the bathroom.

“Jesus,” Jolly mutters the next morning when he gets a good look at Nick’s back. He finds him in the kitchen messing with the coffee maker, and all he’s wearing is a pair of basketball shorts that hang low on his hips. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Nick glances at him as he approaches and leans against the counter beside him, and Jolly can tell he wants to roll his eyes at him. “Did you hear me use my safeword at any time last night, Joakim?”

He knows Nick has a point. If he were really hurting him in a way that he didn’t want, he would have said something. This is a newer part of their relationship, and it makes him nervous when he gets rougher with Nick, but he also knows that he has to trust Nick to know his limits. Despite the fact that he looks like he was thoroughly worked over, the bite mark on his shoulder the most prominent out of everything, he also looks happy. Jolly can’t argue with that.

“You need a new safeword, by the way.” he says instead. “Because one of these days you’re gonna say you wanna ride me like your Harley and that just isn’t gonna work.”

Nick scoffs and laughs. “How do you know it’s not going to be you asking to ride me like my Harley?”

Jolly just stares at him, and Nick stares back smugly.

⇉ taglist

@ladyveronikawrites @circle-with-me @deathblacksmoke @dominuslunae @rumoured-whispers @cookiesupplier @kinseysucks @collapsedglasshouses @thatchickwiththecamera @th4t-em0-k1d @blackveilomens @illmakeyousaywow

@malice-ov-mercy @itsjustforce @darksigns-exe @baddestomens @collidewiththesavannah @sorrowsofsilence @fadingangelwisp @wonh0z @xxrainstorm @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @concretejunglefm

@kait16xo @lacy1986

if you ’d like to be added to the taglist, you can find the form at the top of this fic! thanks for reading/reblogging 🩷

#the riptide verse #jolly karlsson x nick folio #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic #nick folio fic #jolly karlsson fic #bad omens smut #.ficbysitkowski

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brisquad-unit-4402 · 11 days ago

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when the party's over

sorry no post in a while i'm fighting the demons (vsf targeting system) rn

anyway yk how when you go to a party or gathering with a plus one, there's the little signal to each other that means "i wanna go home?"

tags: gender neutral reader, established relationship, domestic fluff

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

❤️‍🩹 maririn's the life of the party, but you're a good-looking couple rarely apart from one another. you're most often found with your arm clutching hers or vice versa, so when she rests her head along your palm, no one thinks much of it. it's nonverbal. her eyes flutter. you wrap up your conversation while she thanks the host directly, ever the class act. "we're glad you invited us!" she remarks. "we liked it so much, we tuckered ourselves out. see you soon, alright?"

🧻 after ending a conversation with someone else, zali'll move to you, wire an arm around your lower back, and pull you a bit closer to him. he tilts his head to speak into your ear. to anyone else, two lovers are whispering sweet nothings. "are you ready to go?" he asks instead—and once realizes what it looks like, follows with "want you to myself right now." he means it. fingers subtly squeeze your waist before leading you out of the party, still in zali's clutches.

🖋 you'll have to fish ike out of the scene instead, he likes meeting new people, but sometimes the partying hard makes it difficult for him to realize that his social battery is working overtime. you'd find him in a big circle of people talking away, noticing how he gets slowly less responsive. he's nursing his drink to cover yawns. "lemme see you for a sec," you say as you tap on his shoulder. when he turns, you take his hand.

🃏 it's not even a signal, it's just vanta being vanta. you're both relaxing on a sofa, closing your eyes and taking in the atmosphere, when he says "i'm gonna take a nap." he says what he means. it's not a warning, it'sa guarantee. you jostle his arm and bid everyone a quick goodbye as you drag him out before he can fall asleep. he gets some shuteye during the drive home, and that's all he needs.

🔗 sonny seeks out physical touch when he's counting down the minutes. sometimes he doesn't intend to; he just wants to admire your hand in his when he's spacing out. in other cases he sets his arm around your shoulder and brings you in, too casual to be a snuggle. the message is loud and clear when he asks you, "about done here?" he pecks your temple, as if you're the one he's leaving, and speaks for you as you head out together.

🐣 when he wants something you'll know. doppio plops his chin on top of your head, since he's the tallest, of course. "It's time to go home," he hums. if prodded, he'll lazily wrap his arms around your shoulders like a cuddly ol' teddy bear. "we've got a big-big-big day tomorrow, we gotta be prepared for anything!" does it matter if it's true?

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ ⁭masterpost ✧. ┊ ⁭kofi

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alevicke · 1 year ago

Note

I love the way you write for Jax —- I really would like to see Jax with a fem reader who is sort of like Jax- messes around with the others, sarcastic and feisty, but also reciprocates Jax’s minor flirting…so maybe Jax gets so confused, like thrown off- ‘does she like me does she not’ type beat, and ends up pushing farther and farther into his teasing and flirting, trying to figure out if she likes him back, but she ends up being the one to make a bold move…like just drops down on her knees pulling her hair into a ponytail like “ight…since you wanna talk all big lets get to it”… if that makes ANY sense at all 😭💀

I'm sorry I'm sorry! I know I'm super slow but I'm just awful writing NSFW ;; I love reading it sometimes but I'm so bad writing it XD So I hope this isn't too boring and you enjoy it! <3

Jax x F!Reader who teases and flirt back (NSFW)

TW: Blowjob, petnames, a bit of manhandling? NSFW obviously. Any other needed please let me know! I think there isn't much to say D:

MY MASTERPOST

When you first joined the circus, Jax thought there would be a new sucker to annoy the hell out of them. Another person to joke with and use some pranks on.

He didn’t expect you to reply back as soon as he called you a pet name trying to annoy you. He usually called Ragatha dollface and he looked for another nickname for you to suit your digital appearance and annoy you. But he didn’t expect you to be calling him your silly bunny. Weird, huh. That sounded a bit like flirting.

That was only the start of a weird forth and back between you both that no one actually understood. You sounded like an asshole with Jax, teasing him and annoying him, but you weren’t like that with the others, well, a bit but not as aggressive as Jax. For some it was double the torture now that you were there

They truly were praying you two didn’t teamed up or you could make the circus a living hell for everyone else but you two.

Jax had a lot of troubles understanding why you reciprocated his flirtations all the time. He wanted to believe you were into him, perhaps, but he wasn’t going to say anything

It didn’t matter that Zoobles told him that you looked like you were in love with him or at least interested, he wouldn’t listen. He still had his doubts

So the back and forth from you both kept being extended while he was so indecisive. You, however, seemed to be growing impatience. At this point you were honestly sure he wanted to do something with you. It was obvious by the whole flirting and how your conversations could get heated sometimes. But he always backed up at the last minute and you were already growing tired of it.

The last drop that spilled the glass was already getting closer, you could feel it. It was about to happen.

Last few days you could feel yourself getting needier for physical contact and the silly bunny wasn’t making the step you needed. It was getting painful at this point. The desire every single day for nothing, to end up in your room touching yourself in drowned moans against the pillow.

That day, however, didn’t look any different. Jax and you were talking alone in his room. Everyone was surprised you could get into his room, he didn’t want anyone there but you. Not even Zooble who was the closest to him after you was allowed there. And you truly thought it was a good sign, taking you to his room perhaps it could mean he would finally make the move.

But NO. To your disbelief, it was happening again.

- Well, I didn’t expect you to make such a bold move, but I ain’t gonna complain if this is what you want toots. Could have said it before if you wanted it so badly” - You raised an eyebrow not even believing what you hear. After so many doubts and he backing up now he wanted to act brave?

Jax and you were already in the room for quite some time and the conversation was heating up as you both threw flirty punchlines to each other. You softly bit your lower lip hoping, craving for his touch. But you could see him making no movement. That was enough

- I’ve had enough of this Jax… Since you wanna talk all big let’s get to it. No more waiting” - you said as you got up from the bed. Jax, looked at you completely confused, not understanding your words. You pulling your hair up to tie it in a pony tail didn’ seem to give him enough hints. That was until you dropped on your knees pulling his legs apart.

- Oh… - it finally clicked on him what your words meant. His cheeks quickly grew red as a smirk appeared on your lips. But his smirk grew wider- He didn’t mind you taking the lead if this was the direction you were taking

- I was hoping you would make the first move, my bunny, but you left me no choice. Now shut for a bit and let me handle this.

Jax raised an eyebrow, eyes locked on him as you fixed your ponytail. He could swear you were prettier than ever but perhaps it was lust on his eyes. He decided to stay quiet as you prepared yourself. Being honest, he didn’t want to miss the opportunity of what was going on so for once he had to hold back being an asshole. At least a tiny bit… But expecting him to stay quiet is impossible. You know he would be at least a bit annoying as always.

You unbuttoned his overalls, letting these slip down his chest. You could feel the anticipation building on him. His eyes were following you like a predator hunting down a prey and his member already getting hard, the bulge noticeable for you. As your hand gently caressed this, a moan escaped between his teeth. A sweet sound filling your ears and raising every hair in you.

You kept teasing him from outside his clothes, making him grow impatient. You were waiting so long for this, now he had to wait for it too, no matter if the desire was already wetting your panties. You caressed his length as you licked your lip, making him bite his lower lip in excitement. You could feel his breath become heavier as his desire grew but this was nothing but pleasure for you.

You took the overalls carefully and pulled them all the way down, finally releasing his erected cock, menacing to your eyes and to your lips. Taking it all the way down was going to be hard and he knew that just for the way you looked at it, eyes wide open.

- “What happened? Having second thoughts, sweetie?” - he teased you as he grinned, taking the member with his hand softly caressing it.

- “Don't poke fun at me, Jax, you could end up with nothing” - you replied grinning as his disappeared a bit. He rolled his eyes and smirked

- “Ok ok I'll be a good boy for you. Just for a bit, doll” - he finally replied while you leaned in closer to him between his legs.

You stuck your tongue out, softly pressing this one against his twitching cock. You could see him biting his own lip again, repressing all pleasure sounds he could make just to keep his tough appearance in front of you but as soon as you moved your tongue along his length he couldn't repress a soft moan between closed teeth.

Your tongue left the dick all the way up to the top nice and wet until the very tip where you licked the precum, tracing circles on it while he grabbed the bedsheets to control humping his hips against your mouth, wanting more already.

You finally took the whole shaft inside your mouth as he let out a soft relieved moan feeling your lips stroke it while you started bobbing your head up and down on it. You felt his hand in your hair, petting it, but when you looked up he was eyes closed enjoying the feeling.

But with each one of your movements your desire for touch was bigger. You traced your hand all the way down following your breasts and your tummy until finding all the way inside your own panties. This was nothing but a sweet addition to the moment for Jax. Not only were you pleasing him but he could also see you touching yourself between drowned moans and pants against his dick.

You continued following the movements with your head, your lips stroking with each one as Jax kept his eyes locked on you. His breath kept getting heavier, quicker, while his fingers petted your hair. You could feel his temptation to pull it but he didn’t want to go too rough with you already, he wanted to go at your own pace, without rushing anything.

But he wasn’t known for having too much patience… So it didn’t take too long for you to sense his hand grabbing your hair a bit more as he wanted to go faster and deeper. Seeing the saliva escape his lips was the clear sign that he was about to reach his climax and he was struggling to hold the moans in. A few words were being censored as he said them though. You however were already drowning moans against his cock as your fingers traced circles around your clit and sometimes moved down, all the way to your entrance almost pushing a finger inside.

You felt his hand finally grab your hair as he couldn’t hold any longer and humped his hips against your mouth, feeling it with each inch of his shaft to make you swallow all his cum. It was hard but you didn’t pull away from him after all, letting him ride your tongue in his ecstasis, his high wave of pleasure between louder moans filling the room even more with the steam of sex and the smell of gratification.

- “You didn’t think we were already done, right toots…?”

It took him quite some seconds to go down from the wave, still heavily panting and releasing your hair from his grab. You pulled apart, cleaning the corners of your lips with the back part of your hand while looking at him. He was leaning back, cheeks and face completely red

- “*Bleep*, y-you really tried to milk me there, dollface…” - he said between pants.

You barely heard his words while your hand finally stopped teasing and you slipped two fingers inside your wet core, panties already soaking wet as you were the one now humping hips against yourself wanting more. Jax smiled widely, reaching a hand to your face, grabbing your jawline to make him look directly at his eyes. He licked his lips with desire, for you, for more…

#vickart #tadc jax #jax tadc #jax #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus jax #jax the amazing digital circus #TADC x reader #jax x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #jax x you

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allmoshnobrain · 1 year ago

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𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫: 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 01 of 06 | masterpost

word count: 5,1k | ao3 link | fic's playlist

✦ on this chapter: NSFW!!!, james hetfield x female!oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, grief, mxf sex, unprotected sex

✦ a/n: The epilogue's finally here! As I said before, I had to split it into a few parts because it turned out really long and I wanted to tie all loose ends lol I haven't finished writing it yet, but I'll try to keep posting twice a week. Many things will have changed in this, since it's set mostly in 1992. We will have some flashbacks, but I dated all the parts so it wouldn't get confusing. Hope you enjoy the read, feedback is welcome! ❤

December 31, 1991

San Francisco in December hit me with that familiar chill as soon as I stepped off the plane; I quickly slipped on my gloves and shrugged into my coat, letting out a sigh as the cold nipped at my nose and fogged up my breath. It felt weird being back after so long, back to the city where I'd lived, loved, and grown up all those years ago.

I’d bid farewell to San Francisco two years back when my art career started picking up steam, making the move to LA seem like the logical next step. Coming back to the city stirred up a pain that ran deep in my bones — a constant reminder of the happiness I once knew but could never quite recapture, a bittersweet flashback to all I'd experienced — and all that had slipped away.

Lars had invited friends and family for a massive bash at his vacation home, ringing in the end of the year and welcoming 1992 with a bang. I had a hunch the extravagant party had something to do with his recent divorce, after a rushed marriage which had barely lasted two years. He'd even sent his driver, Simon, to scoop me up from the airport.

It was a relief not to have to wrangle a taxi amidst the chaos of folks flying in for the last flights before New Year's Eve. Slipping into the Jaguar, I peeled off my sunglasses with a sigh; those shades had become my shield against being recognized in the last few months. Ever since I'd started doing TV gigs, getting spotted by strangers and paparazzi was becoming a regular thing. It came with the territory, sure, but sometimes, a girl just wanted a little peace and quiet.

"Good afternoon, Miss Burton," Simon greeted me with a smile as I hopped into the car, and I shot one right back at him. "Mr. Ulrich was really looking forward to your arrival."

"Thanks, Simon. Are the others already there?" I inquired, my gaze drifting out the window as we cruised away from the airport.

"Yes, Mr. Hammett and Mr. Newsted are. Mr. Hetfield will show up later; I'll swing back to get him after dropping you off. And Miss Summers won't be joining us."

I let out a sigh. Ever since Cliff had passed, Leanne had drifted away from the group, moving to another city and cutting most ties. She said it hurt too much to stick around — too many reminders of him . I got where she was coming from and harbored no hard feelings, but her absence had definitely put some distance between us over the years.

"Well, I'll have to shoot her a call later and wish her a Happy New Year," I mused absentmindedly. "Do you know if my aunt and uncle are gonna make it?"

"Yes, I'll pick them up later," Simon replied, earning a small smile from me. Despite Cliff's passing hitting us all hard, Aunt Jan and Uncle Ray had been a steady presence for me and the guys. They'd practically become like second parents to all of us over the years, always there in the Metallica routine, whether it was on the professional front or at family and friends' get-togethers.

It took us a bit to roll up to Lars' vacation home, a big old mansion tucked away in one of San Francisco’s most expensive neighborhoods, a far cry from the tiny house we used to live in back in the day. Simon pulled up at the main entrance; the door was wide open, and I caught a glimpse of the staff buzzing around, putting the final touches on the shindig. Judging by the crates of booze being unloaded, this was gonna be more than just a cozy New Year's bash with a few friends.

"Thanks for the ride, Simon," I said, grabbing my bag and popping open the car door. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year, Miss."

It didn't take me long to spot Lars; the moment I stepped into the foyer, there he was, barking orders to his assistant at lightning speed, champagne glass already in hand. I couldn't help but grin; classic Lars, hitting the booze before anyone else. He turned my way at the sound of my footsteps echoing on the polished floor, breaking into a smile as he strode over.

"Nore!" he exclaimed, pulling me into a bear hug. "I'm so stoked you made it."

"Hey, Lars," I grinned, returning the hug. It had been a hot minute since I'd seen him or any of the guys; 1991 had been a whirlwind for all of us, and work had pretty much consumed our lives at warp speed.

"How was the trip? Did Simon take good care of you?"

"Yeah, it was smooth sailing. Simon's a pro, always has been. But seriously, Lars, you shouldn't have him grinding away on the last day of the year."

"Oh, he's getting compensated handsomely for it, don't you worry. Hey, you remember your way around the house, right? Kirk and Jason are probably chilling in the sauna. Oh, Allie!" Lars called out to his assistant, a dark-haired girl who looked eager to please. "Got the guest list handy? Can you show our girl here where she'll be crashing tonight?" Allie nodded briskly, and Lars flashed me a smile, turning back to me. "Party kicks off at 9 PM, so I'm just tying up loose ends. Make yourself comfy, grab some grub if you're hungry, alright? Consider the place your own."

I trailed after Allie to my room, a fancy suite with a king-size bed that looked like it had never been slept in. Lars always had a flair for the extravagant, but Metallica's success in recent years seemed to have kicked that into overdrive; his new vacation house was straight-up lavish, with more rooms than I could count, a massive pool, a sauna, and even a private movie theater.

I decided to chill in my room until the party kicked off; as much as I was itching to catch up with everyone, I was straight-up wiped out. Lately, I'd been craving more time alone, away from the chaos of the ragers my friends used to live for. But hey, I knew we'd all cross paths eventually, and sure enough, when I finally made my grand entrance, one of the first faces I spotted was Kirk's, rolling in with James, who apparently had arrived while I was hiding out.

"Nore!" Kirk grinned, pulling me into a hug. I chuckled, hugging him back. "Damn, you're looking good!"

"Thanks, Kirk. It's all Lars' doing; he picked out the dress," I replied, nodding at the long red number I was sporting. I’d found it laid out on the bed in my room with a note telling me to rock it for the night. I eyed Kirk's suit, a slick navy number with gold accents. "You're looking sharp yourself."

"Yeah, that's all Lars' handiwork too. Dude's on a mission to throw the ultimate party. But hey, who am I to complain? There's champagne!" Kirk chuckled, clinking his glass against mine.

"Hey, Nore." I glanced up at the sound of his voice, meeting James' intense blue gaze. A faint smile tugged at my lips; being around him always stirred up a whirlwind of emotions that were hard to untangle. Love, sure, but also heartache. It stung, yet it felt oddly comforting. Like coming home.

"Hi, James," I greeted him softly. Kirk shot us a quick look.

“Well, I'm gonna go track down our host. Catch you guys later!" He excused himself. I watched Kirk saunter off, a slight jolt running through me as James' hand landed on the small of my back.

"Have you grabbed a bite to eat yet? Lars said you got here before me," he murmured, his voice low. I looked up at him, seeing his eyes scanning the crowd of guests, a champagne flute in his other hand.

"Not yet."

"Want me to snag something for you? Lars went all out with the spread this time."

"I'm good, James."

"Didn't drag your boyfriend along to the party?" he quipped, and I couldn't help but snort.

"What boyfriend?"

"That... Brian guy? I dunno, it's hard to keep up with all the dudes you've cycled through since we split," he remarked, a hint of irony dancing in his eyes. I furrowed my brow; was he joking or dead serious? It was getting tougher to read James these days.

"If you wanna know if I'm seeing someone, just ask," I shot back sharply. He let out a sardonic laugh and rolled his eyes. I held his gaze. "And what about your 'Nothing Else Matters' chick? She bailed on the party?"

"I ended things with her," he replied, a hint of annoyance creeping into his tone. "And I've told you that song wasn't about her."

"Then who was it about?"

"Do I really need to spell it out?" he growled, stepping closer. I lifted my chin, meeting his gaze head-on. James and I had been locked in this dance for a while now, his anger clashing with my pain like sparks flying. It didn't shock me that Kirk wanted no part of our little reunion.

"I'm gonna go track down Lars," I tossed back dryly before strutting off. I could practically feel James rolling his eyes as he polished off the rest of his champagne in one gulp.

I didn't cross paths with James again until much later, well after midnight had come and gone. We’d all gathered on the balcony to catch the fireworks, dishing out Happy New Year wishes and hugs left and right. When the crowd filtered back inside, I lingered behind, a cigarette dangling between my fingers as I stared up at the star-studded sky, grappling with the bitter irony that another year had kicked off without Cliff here to see it.

"I did wanna know, actually," a voice cut through the silence, jolting me. I turned to find James leaning against one of the pillars, his gaze fixed on me with a serious edge.

"What?" I murmured, my heart picking up its pace as he closed the gap between us.

"You said if I wanted to know if you were seeing someone, I just had to ask. And I did wanna know," he replied, so close now I could smell the booze on his breath.

"I'm not," I answered, and he grunted, satisfied, before pulling me into his arms, his lips finding mine.

He tasted like beer and tobacco, his lips moving against mine in a familiar dance, the echoes of an old tune. No matter how much time passed or how much it hurt, James and I always found our way back to each other.

"You know that song was about you," he murmured, his kisses trailing down my neck, his grip tightening on my hips as he pulled me closer, our bodies pressed together. "Do you really have to mess with me like this?"

I didn't answer; instead, I grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him back to me, his arms holding me tight as he kissed me with urgency, nipping at my lower lip. He wasn't holding back as he pushed me against the balcony railing, his hands hiking up the skirt of my dress, his touch igniting a fire in my belly.

"My room or yours?" I gasped against his lips.

"Does yours come with a bathroom?" he quipped, and I chuckled softly, nodding. "Figures. Lars always hooks you up with the best ones."

"Mine, then," I murmured, a faint smile playing on my lips.

We made our way up to my room, James guiding me through the labyrinth of hallways and rooms in the house with his hand in mine. The moment the door clicked shut behind us, his hands were back on me, pulling me close as his lips trailed hungrily along my neck, tugging at the straps of my dress.

"James, you're gonna wreck the dress..." I protested weakly, my fingers tangled in his hair. He grunted, yanking it down, and I heard a rip that probably meant the garment was already ruined anyway.

"I'll get you another one," he grumbled. "As many as you want."

With urgency matching his, I stripped off his shirt, a few buttons popping off and bouncing across the bedroom floor. Before I could even blink, he lifted me, depositing me on the bed and positioning himself over me. I kicked off my heels, sending them flying into some forgotten corner, releasing a low moan as he pressed against me, his arousal evident through the fabric of his pants. There was no time for calm contemplation, no room for hesitation or second-guessing if this was the right move; our desire for each other was insatiable, ravenous and desperate, and I felt it would consume me completely if we didn't satisfy it right then and there.

I sighed as his lips reclaimed mine, his hand tangled in my hair, gripping it firmly as I worked on unbuttoning his pants, easing them down. He pulled back for a moment, shedding the rest of his clothes before sliding off my panties, emitting a low groan as he entered me. I shut my eyes, clutching onto his arms tightly, my nails digging into his skin. He wasn't holding back; and honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Look at me," he growled, his hand guiding my chin as he thrust into me, sending waves of pleasure coursing through my body. I obeyed, meeting his gaze as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, my mouth slightly agape as I let out small, sharp moans. He shifted his hand to my neck, pressing his forehead against mine.

"James..." I moaned, my grip on his arms tightening as he picked up the pace, sending shivers down my spine. "James..."

"I wanna ruin you. You get that?" he growled, sending a jolt of pleasure through my body at his words. Of course, I got it. What were we if not each other's downfall? What more could I want than for him to consume me entirely, even if just for a moment? For all the pain and heartache to vanish, if only while he was inside me. "I want you to be mine, all mine, all mine... Fuck..." he buried his face in my neck as my climax washed over me, my body clenching around him, my legs wrapping around his hips, pulling him deeper. "Nore..." he groaned, his own release crashing over him, filling me completely as he continued to move until the intensity of his peak forced him to collapse onto me.

He rolled away, settling beside me, leaving a pulsating void inside me where pain and pleasure danced together in my womb and heart. I shut my eyes, focusing on steadying my breath, and let out a soft chuckle when I felt his lips on my neck, his arms pulling me close in a fleeting but genuine comfort.

"My girl..." he murmured against my ear, sending a delicious shiver down my spine. I'd lost track of how many times he'd called me that, but it never failed to stir something in me. "Why do you keep running from me? Don't you know I love you so?"

I opened my eyes, locking onto his gaze, a blend of longing and yearning reflected back at me. Nestling into his embrace, I placed a soft kiss on his lips, feeling his gaze soften into a tender warmth that sent tingles down my spine.

"I'm here now," I murmured, tracing my fingers gently over his face. He sighed, closing his eyes, intertwining our hands and pressing kisses to my palm, one, two, three times before pulling me close in a tight hug.

Peace hadn't been a frequent visitor in my life for a while, but in that moment, I found it. I'd always find my way back to James, and he'd always find his way back to me. That certainty coursed through my veins, leaving me feeling whole in a way I hadn't in ages.

The next day, we'd be back in the spotlight, the distance between us creeping back in like a toxic fog. But for now, on that night, I was content. I was at peace.

I was home.

September 28, 1986

The shrill ring of the phone pierced through the silence of the empty house, yanking me out of a deep slumber with a groan. I blinked, the heavy rain drumming against the bedroom windows registering in my foggy mind. Stretching out across the bed, I groped for James, only to remember he wasn't there; my boyfriend was off on tour with my cousin and my friends. That left just Leanne and me holding down the fort.

Dragging myself out of bed, my eyes still weighed down by sleep, I shrugged into my robe and slipped on my slippers before trudging out of the room, descending the stairs at a snail's pace. Flicking on the lights in the living room, I scowled at the clock — it wasn't even seven in the morning. This better be an important call, I grumbled inwardly. I was itching to crawl back under the covers.

"Hey," I mumbled, stifling a yawn and rubbing my eyes in an attempt to shake off the sleepiness.

"Hey, Nore," James' voice crackled through the receiver, but in my grogginess, I barely registered the tense undertone, so unlike his usual laid-back demeanor.

"Babe..." I murmured, another yawn threatening to escape. "I know you're in a different time zone, but it's way early here. I was out cold..."

"I'm sorry. I had to call," he replied, and this time, the strain in his voice didn't go unnoticed. I furrowed my brow, sinking down onto the couch beside the phone, suddenly wide awake.

"Is everything alright? Did something happen?"

"Yeah, something happened. Is Leanne there with you?"

"I think she's asleep. Why?"

"We had a crash," he said, and my heart clenched, a surge of unease and dread knotting my stomach. "We were on the road... Late at night. The driver lost control..."

My breath hitched, and in that instant, a sense of foreboding washed over me. Something felt off, deeply unsettling. It just didn't add up. I knew I should be getting this call from someone else. I knew my cousin; I knew Cliff would want to speak to me and Leanne directly, to break the news himself.

Like when he shared he was leaving Long Beach for San Francisco. Like when he announced he was joining Metallica. Like when he called to tell me Dave got booted from the band, or when he rang to say Metallica was wrapping up tour and he wanted me there for their first hometown gig after dropping the first album.

Something wasn't right.

"James," I whispered, my voice trembling, tears pricking at my eyes as if I already knew what he was going to say. "What happened to Cliff?"

January 1st, 1992

I jolted awake, my cheeks damp with tears that refused to cease flowing. I sighed heavily, my breath shaky, the early morning sunlight just beginning to seep through the curtains. James' arms were wrapped snugly around me, his breath warm against my shoulder as he softly snored.

That dream, again.

It always seemed to resurface whenever I was near James. Maybe my subconscious still linked him to that chilly morning, to that phone call that’d shattered any hope of happiness for the rest of that year and beyond. A call that tore a hole in the fabric of my world, leaving an ache in my heart that felt like it would never mend.

The call that had shattered my heart for good, leaving no chance of putting the pieces back together.

I carefully shifted James' arm away from me, slipping out of bed and heading to the bathroom. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I took in my tired blue eyes framed by dark circles, my brown hair tumbling in waves over my shoulders, and the red marks on my neck and collarbone left by James the night before. With a sigh, I opened the bathroom cabinet, my hands trembling slightly as I reached for the pills I knew would help ease my anxiety.

I lacked the courage to return to bed, so I nestled into one of the armchairs in the corner of the room, observing James' peaceful slumber as the daylight gradually filled the space. He stirred awake soon after, as if sensing my absence beside him, his eyelids fluttering before he groggily opened his eyes. With a puzzled frown, he reached out for the bed, only to find it empty, prompting him to scan the room. A sigh escaped him when he spotted me, a sense of relief washing over his features that tugged at my heartstrings.

"Bad dream?" he inquired, and I simply nodded in response. "You wanna hop back into bed?"

"I'd rather not risk slipping into another nightmare," I admitted, and he sighed, sitting upright.

"Well, I know a surefire way to keep you awake, if you're interested," he quipped, and I managed a shaky laugh. I much preferred this relaxed and caring version of James to the sarcastic and irritable one from the night before. "So, spill. What was haunting you this time?"

"The usual. That day," I murmured. It wasn't anything new; I'd replayed that nightmare countless times, and James was well aware. My demons weren't a mystery to us, but that didn't make them any less terrifying.

With a sigh, he got up and strolled over to me, scooping me up effortlessly, which elicited a surprised gasp from me. He carried me back to bed, settling me down beside him, his hand securing my waist while the other supported the underside of my thighs, lifting one leg and tucking it around his waist. I hugged him tightly, nuzzling into his chest. It was a brief moment of warmth and solace, a fleeting calmness that I knew would vanish as soon as the day kicked into gear and he walked out that door.

"Are you taking off today?" I whispered softly. I understood that once James and I dove back into our regular routines — fame, commitments, the whole mess — things would get complicated again. I'd lose him once more; I'd been through that too many times in the last few years to entertain any other outcome. But as long as we were together, there, shielded from everything else, he was mine. And I craved his presence. I craved his warmth.

"Do you want me to jet today?" he countered, and I shook my head no. He grumbled under his breath, the rumble vibrating against my cheek as I snuggled closer. "Then I'll hang tight. I suppose we can annoy Lars a bit longer."

"I'm too scared to doze off," I admitted weakly, grappling with the heaviness of my eyelids, which threatened to seal shut from exhaustion. James planted a kiss on the top of my head, gently stroking my hair.

"I ain't budging. If you slip into that nightmare again, I'll be right here when you wake up. Deal?" he whispered, and I nodded.

I knew that as soon as I drifted off, that same haunting dream would likely rear its ugly head. It was just one more cruel reminder of the growing chasm between James and me. It felt like we were broken, perpetually out of sync, and his nearness both healed and wounded me in equal measure. But in that moment, I was willing to bear the pain if it meant he'd stick by my side.

"I love you, Jamie," I murmured, and he sighed, pulling me close as my body surrendered to sleep.

"I love you too, Nore," his voice was the last thing I heard before drifting off.

February 18, 1992

The bouquet of red roses James had given me was beginning to droop, the once vibrant petals shriveling and browning with each passing day. Yet, the fragrance lingering in the air remained sweet and evocative, as if the flowers were still in full bloom.

I sighed as I ran a brush through my hair, eyeing the dress laid out on the bed for the evening bash. It was the launch party for the new TV network schedule I'd been hired for, and showing up was not just a courtesy but a must.

I hadn't crossed paths with James much since our time at Lars' getaway spot. His absence had become a familiar ache over the last few years, a kind of shield we'd unintentionally built between us over time. Yet, there was always that tiny flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, he'd call out of the blue and bring back that sense of ease with his voice.

To my surprise, the phone did ring that day. I set the brush down on the vanity, hurriedly making my way to the bedside table to answer it, a rush of excitement coursing through me.

“Nore?” the voice on the other end wasn't James', but it still warmed my heart, prompting a smile to spread across my face as I sank back onto the bed, cradling the phone to my ear.

“Lea!” I exclaimed, feeling a surge of joy. “It's been too long! How've you been?”

“I'm great! And you?”

“Oh, you know. Just hanging in there. How's Joe?” I swiftly changed the subject. As much as I adored Leanne, I wasn't ready to spill my guts about how I was really feeling.

“Oh, he's doing fantastic. Actually, that's why I rang you up. We're getting married!” she announced, her excitement palpable, and I couldn't help but smile.

“Lea, that's incredible! When's the big day?”

“It's in August. We figured summer would be perfect. I'm calling to extend the invite; would you do me the honor of being one of my bridesmaids?”

I leaped up, my grin stretching wider across my face. Leanne and I had been thick as thieves since day one; seeing her so thrilled about tying the knot, and knowing she wanted me to be part of her big day, warmed my heart.

“Oh, absolutely!” I exclaimed, a bubbling laugh of joy and surprise escaping my lips. Lea chuckled in response, matching my excitement. “Thank you! I know it's going to be beautiful. Can you fill me in on all the details later?”

The rest of my day sparkled with newfound energy after the news; I even caught myself humming an old song as I finished getting dolled up for the evening bash, weaving my hair into an intricate hairdo my mom had insisted on teaching me.

When I finished getting ready, I checked myself out in the mirror, pretty pleased with the result; the dark blue spaghetti-strap dress hugged my curves just right, with the skirt flaring out at the waist and skimming down to my ankles. A dainty golden choker with crystals adorned my neck, and my long brown locks were styled to perfection, framing my face in all the right places, with my eyes sparkling, cheeks a touch flushed, and lips painted red.

But, of course, I couldn't roll up to an event like that on my own; right on the dot at 7 p.m., I heard the honk signaling my ride had arrived. I sauntered down the stairs, arching an eyebrow in surprise as I stepped outside and spotted the limo parked up front. My old friend Charlotte rolled down the window from the backseat, flashing me a big grin.

“Hey, Nore!” she chirped as I slid into the car, handing over a glass of champagne, which earned a soft chuckle from me. “Ready to rock?”

“I guess I’m a bit jittery. First time going to a party like this one,” I admitted. Now that I was on my way, the thought of facing a swarm of photographers and journalists at the event’s entrance was making me more nervous than I cared to admit, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for it.

“Well, it's gonna be a blast, trust me! Everyone who's anyone will be there. I'll be your wingwoman, so don't worry about a thing. I'll make sure you rub elbows with all the big shots you haven't bumped into yet during the shoots.”

I nodded, taking a bit of champagne to settle my nerves, the bubbles dancing on my tongue and momentarily diverting my attention. If my acting career was taking flight now, it was all thanks to Charlie; she'd been the driving force behind my return to the scene after I’d graduated High School, persuading me to switch gears from the Visual Arts program up in San Francisco to Drama School down in Los Angeles, and had even helped me snag my first TV gig.

I'd recently jumped into acting over at the same TV network where Charlotte had been working as an actress for a while. Even though I hadn't wrapped up recording my first project yet, the buzz around a relatively unknown actress snagging the lead in the latest drama series had caught the media’s attention. In just about a year, my life had changed completely, going from being just another face in the crowd to even having paparazzi tail me. But truth be told, I was still getting the lay of the land at the network. Charlie had hit the nail on the head; this party was prime time to make some connections.

We rolled up to the party spot; I soon realized that navigating through the sea of photographers and reporters on that red carpet was no joke. But once I got past the Q&A, which mostly revolved around my work and career, it was time to get down to business. Charlotte ushered me into conversations with all sorts of folks: actors, musicians, executives, and even some of the network's shareholders. It hit me quick that networking at these parties was just as much a part of the job in the entertainment industry as being good at your craft.

The hours zoomed by amid chats, laughter, drinks, and nibbles. Soon, I was feeling drained and decided to grab a bite from the buffet before taking a breather. As I was fixing my plate, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, expecting it to be Charlie, ready to introduce me to someone new.

Never in a million years could I have guessed what awaited me in the next few seconds.

"Nore... Is that really you?" the man exclaimed, looking utterly astonished, and suddenly I was eighteen again, my heart racing in completely uncontrollable pirouettes as my breath hitched, my surprised gaze meeting his, the world filling with color and song as I stared into the eyes of Dave Mustaine.

✧ if you'd like to be tagged on the next parts, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list! ❤ ✧

tag list: @killazilla777 @whatsupvic @70srogah @genswine9 @twice360noscope

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signanothername · 5 months ago

Note

Does it annoy you to have to answer the same/same types of asks multiple times?

I'm sure you get a LOT of asks and that a lot of them are similar in nature. And, while they have good intentions (and genuine curiosity) I do kinda worry it might just be super annoying for you to filter through your askbox when it's just the same few things over and over again.

Is there any way that newcomers can catch up on what your characterizations are like so you don't have to worry about it?

Your interpretations and characterizations are amazing to read and I love seeing all the ideas and opinions you have, but I do worry that it might get annoying to have to make long posts multiple times about the same exact things.

That said, make sure to rest and take care of yourself! Running a daily blog can be hard, especially with so many questions and reactions to your ideas that might grab your attention. <3

Nope! Dw it doesn’t annoy me at all, and surprisingly enough, I don’t get too many similar asks too often

That being said, I honestly don’t mind, cause I would simply either answer with a link back to where I answered it before, or (and that’s my fave thing to do) link it back and go on to expand even more on the same subject when I get a similar ask, what I’m trying to say is that similar asks do give me the opportunity to talk even more in depth about a certain subject :D

And thank you so much!! That means a lot 😭❤️🌷✨

I’m not gonna lie I kinda have been thinking of making a masterpost with everything I made for UT thus far, from asks to comics/artworks, not only to make it easier for other people but also to make it easier for me to find a post whenever I want its link dhhdhdhdh cause I usually just go for searching in tags, which takes a long time sometimes xghxhxh

So now that I received this ask, I’m definitely getting even more convinced to make the masterpost, I’ll start working on it later today, and I’ll post it as soon as it’s finished, that way you can catch up to everything without having to worry about sending a similar ask :D

And thank you!! Will do! <333333

#anothers ask

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canisbrutus · 3 days ago

Note

Beatrice/Parker headcanons?

gonna be honest with you: Beatrice is a lesbian in my mind so this isn't something that would completely fly in my worldbuilding, BUT Parker definitely had a onesided crush so let's roll from that.

Beatrice & Parker 🧪🍀

Beatrice is one of the more upper class nerds, admittedly.

Or at least... she comes from a family with more traditional values.

So she wasn't that bad in terms of social class, in his eyes.

Nevertheless she surprised him one day at a nursery; buying herbs to plant herself so she can make medicinal teas.

(He was browsing for new flora for his own garden; which he genuinely spends a lot of time in, thanks to his bond with his gnome, Geoff.)

One of said plants in her arms was mint, and if you know anything about gardening, mint is one of those things you Do Not put in the ground unless you want nothing but Mint.

With his curiosity piqued, they struck up a conversation. Only part of which was him mansplaining how invasive mint could be.

After hearing her (sheepish) (hesitant) (worried he'd pick on her) explanation, he saw an opportunity for connection.

He was a very lonely lad, and none of his prep friends truly appreciated gardening, so a shared interest was an excellent building block for something more.

So, under the agreement she'd let him sample some of her tea someday, he decided to 'sponsor' her garden experiments.

In other words he just bought the plants for her.

Money was his main tool for forging friendships, you know.

Later on he'd give her the occasional check for 'upkeep and additional studies,' but didn't mind if she spent it on herself.

'Upkeep' also constitutes as self care.

This was appreciated by her, of course, though she wasn't a stranger to boys trying to flatter her with gifts (cough. Bucky.)

She largely treated their relationship as almost business-like; polite, but at arms-length.

She agreed to a few not-dates where he'd come over to look at her plants (each in their own pot) and drink some tea, banter about gardening some more, etc.

Her parents, meanwhile, were very interested in this richboy and the prospect of them hooking up. Suffocatingly so.

Ultimately it was because of their pressure she decided to push Parker away completely.

He took it decently (as in: he smiled and nodded when she broke the news and later ended up crying and drinking with Tad rubbing his back at the Glass Jaw that night).

But really, he was respectful with it. Their 'relationship' was built with her studies first, after all.

Bullworth is a town full of dead dreams and missed chances, but that's just how life goes sometimes. 💔

(reminder: requests are still closed, but ill open em again soon)

[hc masterpost]

#bully scholarship edition #canis canem edit #bully canis canem edit #bully cce #mine #beatrice trudeau #parker ogilvie

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libbytwq · 7 months ago

Text

♡》 Bonjour fellow mortal organisms :] 《♡

-♡♡♡-

♡》 Welcome to my blog! 《♡

》 You can call me either Lore or Libby :] 《

》 she/her/any 《

》 🎂 Oct 4 (currently 17) 🎈 《

》 bi/ace, genderfluid 《

》 Maryland, USA 🇺🇸 (I am the white baby that shouldn't be talking like that) 《

》 Artist, Animator, Writer, Composer, Theatre Kid, Marching Band Kid 《

》 I make art, animation, and music! But mostly art and animations (I also sometimes write things) 《

》 Lately I've been on an SMG4 hyperfixation, so thats gonna be mostly what im posting about until im normal again (which will not be anytime soon) 《

-♡♡♡-

♡》 Things I Enjoy 《♡

》 Shows • "SMG4", "Murder Drones", "The Amazing Digital Circus", "Sonic Prime", "Ramshackle", "Lackadaisy", "Atlas and the Stars", "Hazbin Hotel", "Helluva Boss", "Don't Hug Me I'm Scared", "The Owl House", "Stranger Things", "Chikn Nuggit" 《

》 Movies • "Sonic the Hedgehog", "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?", "Chip n Dale: Rescue Rangers", "The Lego Movie" 《

》 Video Games • Minecraft, Frog Detective, Sonic the Hedgehog, Five Nights at Freddy's, Cuphead, Amanda the Adventurer, Andy's Apple Farm 《

》 Plays/Musicals • "The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals", "Black Friday", "Nerdy Prudes Must Die", "Hamilton", "Ride the Cyclone", "The Addams Family Musical", ""Les Miserables", "Puffs, or Seven Increasingly Eventful Years at a Certain School of Magic and Magic", "Mean Girls", "Twisted", "Firebringer" 《

》 Musical Artists • AJR, Tally Hall, CG5, Caravan Palace, Miracle Musical, Chappell Roan, Tom Cardy, Mystery Skulls, Jakeneutron, Jack Stauber 《

-♡♡♡-

♡》 Ref Sheets 《♡

》 Lore ref sheet 《

》 Main OCs ref sheets masterpost 《

》 SMGL:E ref sheet 《

》 speaking of SMGL:E, heres a masterpost to all their lore! 《

-♡♡♡-

♡》 Boundaries 《♡

》 DNI: MAPs, pedophiles, proshippers, groomers, racists, homophobes/transphobes, misogynists, nsfw accounts, porn accounts, anybody who promotes general hate speech 《

》 Please keep in mind that I am a minor. If you are a legal adult, please don't thirst for any of my personas or any of my minor OCs. (I rarely even draw thirst art for this characters, im not sure why you would do that-) Also do not request me to draw blatant NSFW. 《

》 If you violate these boundaries, you will be blocked. 《

-♡♡♡-

♡》 Inbox 《♡

》 Feel free to ask me things in my ask box! About my characters, my interests, art requests (maybe.... heavily depends on the request), or any general comments you feel the need to tell me! Just don't ask me weird shit. 《

》 Please don't spam asks or tell me to draw your character if we aren't moots. 《

》 I may be a teensy bit slow with asks but i promise i see every single one! I will try and get thru every one of them, just be patient with me! <3 《

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♡》 Socials 《♡

》 My Reblog/Rant/Writing Account: @libbys-braincell-loss 《

》 My Carrd Website 《

》 YouTube 《

》 Scratch 《

》 DeviantArt 《

》 Wattpad 《

》 Unvale 《

》 ArtFight 《

》 Webtoon 《

》 Tapas 《

-♡♡♡-

♡》 My Mooties 《♡

》 eh hes kinda cute ig i'll keep him /silly 《

》 Tomm Tired Smash Brothers 《

》 My Mango Is To Blow Up 《

》 NEO!!!!! 《

》 That Mf Who Keeps Asking For Hexore /silly 《

》 MatPat (Blue Version) 《

》 kyle from south park canonically 《

》 My Twin From Whom I've Been Separated At Birth 《

》 fREAK 《

》 the doodlerrrrrrrrrr 《

》 Average Shadow Enjoyer 《

-♡♡♡-

♡》 My Main Tags 《♡

》 General Tags 《

》 #lore reblogs -- anything I reblog on this account, mostly @'s and fanart of my characters/AUs. 《》 #lore has the answers -- answers from my ask box! 《

》 SMGL:E (SMG4 OC/AU) 《

》 #smgl:e 《》 #smgl:e x karen + #smgloren 《》 #smgl:e ignatius 《》 #smgl:e x ignatius 《

》 Libby The Wolf Queen (My own original storyline/OCs) 《

》 #libby the wolf queen 《》 #libby campbell ltwq 《》 #haco lotus ltwq 《》 #inu quicksilver ltwq 《》 #ceecee skies ltwq 《》 #parca ltwq 《》 #ahren miller ltwq 《》 #taiyo soterios ltwq 《》 #nikki drossel ltwq 《》 #kuma nanuk ltwq 《》 #river lotus ltwq 《》 #ingrid drossel ltwq 《

-♡♡♡-

♡》 thanks for reading, have a swell day :] 《♡

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dumb-about-legos · 13 days ago

Text

Shadows and Bone Dust

Chapter 1

CW: implied child abandonment and mentioned animal bones (teeth)

Liu Er Mihou sighed as he strolled down one of the hiking trails on Flower Fruit Mountain. Parenting as hard, especially when the child you were parenting was a seven year old with six eyes who kept having strange visions. Sometimes he just needed a break, and Wukong was always happy to spend some extra time with Liu Yan while he did.

Mihou: *flicks his ear with a confused look on his face* Huh?

There was a small noise, so very quiet he wouldn't have been able to hear it without six ears. It was a sound he knew well from listening to Liu Yan when she was little. The gentle cooing of a baby.

He began to look around, searching for the source of the sound as he strained his ears. There it was again. It was coming from somewhere in the Forest, off the trail. He walked into the shaded cool of the trees, the chirping of bugs and monkeys all around him. He came to a small clearing.

In a patch of sunshine sat a small blue bundle. Mihou approached it with caution, unsure if this was a trap. As he came to stand over it, he saw it was a baby, with jet black hair and ice blue eyes that bore into his soul.

Mihou: *softly* Oh.

He picked up the little one, who smiled at him. She couldn't have been more than six months old. All she had was the blue blanket and a necklace of animal teeth.

Baby: Coo...

Mihou: Hi there. *He looks around.* I wonder who left you here...?

He shadow teleported them back to the Palace, specifically to the kitchen.

Wukong: *had been making a PB&J for Liu Yan* Uuhm, what'cha got there?

Mihou: *making a bottle for the baby* A bottle.

SWK: You know that's not what I meant.

Mihou: Oh this little one? *he starts feeding the baby a bottle* I found her in a clearing in the forest. Someone must have left her there.

Liu Yan, a small monkey with golden fur like her Baba's (SWK's) and six multi-colored eyes rushes into the kitchen.

Liu Yan: *gasp* Papa, you got me a baby!??

Mihou: No. I found a baby. We're gonna try to find her family.

LY: *trying to get a closer look* What if no one comes for her? Can we keep her then?

Mihou and Wukong glance at each other. What would happen if her parents didn't come forward?

SWK: We'll see what happens when we get there. *Hands Liu Yan her sandwich* For now, why don't you eat your lunch, and then you can help me set up your old crib for her in my and Papa's room?

LY: *taking the sandwich* OK! *turns back to Mac and the baby* What are we gonna call her?

Mihou: *looking at the baby's necklace* How about... Guzi.

LY: I like that name!

~~~

Wukong sent out messangers, searching over all of China to see if anyone was looking for a baby Bone Demon (Mihou realized that that was what Guzi was when they saw her necklace glowing while she slept).

They waited. Soon a week had passed.

Then a month. They sent messangers to Heaven to see if that was were she came from. No one was looking for a Bone Demon baby.

One month became two. Two became three. Soon Guzi was taking her first steps.

Around the time she may have been turning a year old, she had become very attached to Mihou.

She said her first word. "Papa!" she exclaimed happily to Mihou.

No one would be taking this child from him now.

:::::::::::::::::::::

Woohoo! First chapter of SaBD! If you have any questions about the au or ideas for this fic, please, please, please send an ask!

Also feel free to ask to be tagged anytime I post about this au, it would mean a lot to know if you were interested!

Masterpost

Chapter 2

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emberdew · 6 months ago

Text

Be More Ghost Chapter 1: More Than Alive

Summary:

A Be More Chill AU where Danny gets a Super Quantum Intel Unit Processor (or Squip) to help him become cool and win over Valerie, but things don't really go as planned.

Masterpost | AO3 Link | Word Count: 2,804

Why can’t someone just help me out? And teach me how to thrive, help me be more than alive.

“C’mon! C’mon!” Phantom flew towards his house, hoping he could get a few moments of sleep but knowing based on how light the sky looked he was likely screwed.

This was confirmed when Phantom heard his alarm going off next to his bedside table as he dropped into bed after flying intangibly through his window. Sighing as he detransformed, Danny clicked the button to turn the alarm off and silently cursed the Box Ghost for keeping him up all night.

“If I have to chase you all the way to the docks again, I’m leaving you in the thermos for two weeks,” Danny whispered to the Fenton Thermos still grasped tightly in his hand. He rattled it a few times for good measure before sticking it in timeout on his shelf.

He whipped around when his dad slammed his door open. Jack Fenton was clad in his usual bright orange jumpsuit and spoke with a booming voice. “Good morning, Danno!”

“Morning, Dad,” Danny said, not matching his dad’s enthusiasm at all.

“Your mom left for the ghost hunting conference last night so I’m making breakfast! Want some Fenton Toast?”

Danny withheld a groan. “No thanks, I can just have cereal.”

“Okay!” Jack turned and ran down the stairs. Danny followed sluggishly behind him.

In the kitchen, Jazz sat at her usual chair with a piece of Fenton Toast and coffee in front of her as she read her advanced psychology textbook. “Morning, Danny,” she said, not looking up from her book.

“Morning.” Danny grabbed his cereal, poured milk, and plopped into his chair. In front of him on the table was a new invention his dad was working on. He eyed it wearily as he started eating his breakfast.

“Look Danny-boy! This is the Fenton Ghost Freezer! It’ll stop a ghost in seconds at the push of a button!” Jack held up the device and Danny cringed as his dad pushed the button.

The device exploded in his dad’s hands, covering his jumpsuit in greenish-blue goo and ice crystals.

“Welp, time to change into a new jumpsuit!” Jack carelessly dropped the remains of the device on the kitchen table and bounded up the stairs, leaving a trail of goo and white flakes behind him.

“I wish he would just wear normal clothes instead sometimes. What’s wrong with wearing pants instead of a jumpsuit once in a while?” Danny complained as he watched his dad leave the room.

“You’re really more concerned about the jumpsuit than the invention that could potentially harm you?” Jazz gave Danny a questioning look and put down her book.

“Yes Jazz, I can dodge the gun but not the embarrassment.”

Jazz rolled her eyes and got up from the table. “Whatever you say.” She put away her dishes and grabbed her backpack. “I’m driving to school. You’re gonna take the usual route, right?”

Jazz made a very unnecessarily exaggerated wink and Danny knew she was assuming he was going to fly.

“Yup,” Danny rolled his eyes, “cya!”

“Okay, be careful! Bye!” Jazz waved as she left. Danny waved back and continued eating his cereal.

A few minutes later, Jack arrived in the kitchen wearing a clean new jumpsuit the same bright color as before. “Want a ride to school?”

Danny cringed at the thought of his dad driving him to school in the Fenton Ghost Assault Vehicle. “No thanks. I’ll take the bus or walk.”

“Well, you better get going soon if you don’t wanna be late!”

Danny stood up. “Alright.” He slung his purple backpack over his shoulder and headed towards the door. “Bye Dad!”

“Bye, son!”

Danny slammed the front door shut, headed to a nearby alley, and transformed into Phantom. He flew to school, glad that he didn’t actually have to worry about choosing between taking the bus and walking. Flying was the obvious choice.

Usually flying helped clear Phantom’s head, but getting almost no sleep and having to go to school made his flight that morning unpleasant. He kept thinking about how he wanted his life to be easier.

“Maybe if I was cool at school I would at least get some slack. Being a D-Lister is the worst.” He sighed. “Even though I’m the hero as Phantom it just stinks to have to deal with being freaky Fenton the rest of the time.”

He neared the school and dropped to a hidden spot behind a tree and detransformed.

“I don’t even want to be special,” he muttered to himself as he walked to the school’s entrance. “But I guess I kind of am since I’m more than alive. Or half-alive. Or whatever.”

Ugh, Danny’s weird half life was just so complicated.

___

“And so Ashley said Gregor told Dash ‘I’ll only kiss you if you beat me at table tennis’ and then Gregor lost the game deliberately!” Paulina waved her hands emphatically to make her point as she relayed the story to her best friend, Star. The two most popular girls in school stood in front of their lockers gossiping before classes like they did every day.

“Dash and Gregor are both bi? I didn’t know that,” Star said.

“Star, that’s not the point!”

“Oh right, sorry Paulina.” Star winced. Dash had just broken up with Paulina three days ago and Paulina was definitely not over it yet.

Ashley, who Star hadn’t noticed had been listening this whole time behind them, spoke up, “And then Gregor was all like-”

“I’m telling the story, Ashley!” Paulina shouted as she slammed her locker shut. “Ugh, I hate him so much.” Paulina glared at Dash, who had just arrived at his locker nearby.

Danny walked through the hallway, wishing he had remembered to turn invisible before he started passing by the A-Lister’s lockers. Since he was nervous about a confrontation, his foot became intangible for a second and he tripped into Kwan, the large football player who happened to be right next to him.

“Don’t touch me, freak!”

“Sorry! Um, I didn’t mean to-” Danny stammered.

Kwan grabbed Danny and turned him around. Danny couldn’t see him, but he heard Kwan uncap a marker and write something on his backpack.

“Don’t wash this off,” Kwan said as he pushed Danny. He stumbled and hit his face against the wall.

Done with bullying, Kwan turned to Dash, who was getting a notebook out of his locker.

“Dash, my man! Yo, what’s the story with Gregor?” Kwan smirked at his friend.

“Oh, I shouldn’t say,” Dash grinned, “but it’s a good thing I’m amazing at ping pong.”

___

Eyes focused on the ground, Danny got away from the A-Lister’s lockers as fast as he could without flying. Once he was out of view he stopped to take a deep breath. When he looked up, he saw a poster that hadn’t been there the day before. He took a few steps closer to get a better look at it.

The poster was bright green. In bold letters, it said: “Sign up for Ghost Hunting Club and get extra credit!” There was a list at the bottom for people to write their names, but no one had signed up for the club yet.

“Yeah, no thanks.” Danny turned away from the poster. He didn’t need to give anyone more of an excuse to call him a freak.

He turned a corner and stopped in his tracks. She was there, just a few feet away.

“Valerie,” Danny whispered.

The former A-Lister was wearing her usual yellow shirt and orange skirt. Her brown skin looked as perfect as ever.

“Valerie.” Danny couldn’t stop staring at her. Even though she broke up with him just a few weeks ago, his heart still stuttered every time he saw her. Even though he knew Technus had orchestrated the perfect dates he had gone on with her, he couldn’t stop himself from daydreaming about more dates they could do together like getting ice cream at Elmer’s Pharmacy or maybe spending a day at Floody Waters.

Just picturing Valerie in a swimsuit made his brain short-circuit for a minute. He felt his cheeks heating up so he tried to distract himself by remembering what Spectra looked like as a snot monster, which was pretty effective.

Danny blinked and looked around. Valerie still hadn’t noticed him, so he took a few more steps in her direction.

“Valerie Gray…” He swooned. He couldn’t help himself, even though he knew she still hated his ghost half. She was just so beautiful with her long wavy hair and her nice hazel eyes…

“Valerie.” He was just a foot away from her now.

“Oh, hey Danny. Did you say something?” Valerie finally noticed him. He jumped in panic.

“I- Uh- Hey…”

“Uh, I think someone wrote ‘BOYF’ on your backpack.” Valerie pointed and Danny saw that was what Kwan had written. The bold black letters were pretty hard to miss, but he didn’t have time to think about his backpack with Valerie standing right there.

He couldn’t really think about anything.

“Um... gotta go, bye!” Danny ran away so fast he nearly fell on his face. He probably would have if he wasn’t basically immune to gravity’s effects most of the time.

Valerie stared after him in confusion.

___

“Ugh, nice going, Fenton.” Danny facepalmed after he got out of Valerie’s sight. “Real smooth.”

As he started trudging toward his first class, he shook his head. There was no point in dwelling on it. He really needed to accept that he’d never be good at flirting. He was a mess. But maybe if he wrote down his feelings he’d have a better shot?

Yeah, maybe a romantic letter would work.

Instead of paying attention to Mr. Falluca’s lecture on the flora and fauna of the tundra biome, Danny started writing about his feelings for Valerie.

After class, he had made some progress on the letter but he wasn’t super happy with it. He was reading it over again when Paulina snuck behind him and grabbed the paper out of his hands.

“Is this a love letter for your boyfriend?” Paulina held the letter out of his reach. Danny wanted to fly and turn intangible to grab it out of her hands but he held himself back.

“No, it’s for a girl. I mean I am pan, but- I- um...” Danny studied his shoes.

“Aw look, the freak is blushing,” Star teased. “Who’s the letter for then?”

“Please give it back,” Danny murmured, still avoiding eye contact.

“Yeah, who’s freaky Fenton got a crush on now?” Paulina leveled a cruel grin at him.

The bell rang, distracting the girls long enough for Danny to grab the paper back using a little bit of his enhanced speed.

“Gotta go!” Danny scrambled out of the room and into the nearest bathroom.

Well, that was mortifying. He read over the letter again and groaned. “I can’t do this.”

He lit a ball of ectoplasmic energy in his hands and the letter crumbled to dust. Sighing, he exited the bathroom and headed to the cafeteria.

___

Right as Danny was about to enter the cafeteria, he spotted his best friend’s signature red beret.

“Tucker!”

Tucker turned and beamed at Danny. “Danny! Hey man!”

Danny rushed over and hugged his friend. Ever since Tucker stopped using Foley, by Tucker Foley Danny had noticed that he smelled... Really nice. He might have hung on to the hug a bit too long, but he was having a bad day and his friend’s embrace was really comforting, okay?

After a few more seconds he finally did let go, feeling his cheeks blushing a little. Hopefully, Tucker didn’t notice. Tucker was still grinning.

“Seems like you’re having a good day,” Danny said. “Listening to Dumpty Humpty again?”

“Yeah, dude! I’m listening to their latest album and it’s amazing.” Tucker tapped his headphones for emphasis. “Also, I just got a new PDA in the mail today and she’s gorgeous!”

“That’s great.” Danny and Tucker walked to their usual lunch table where Sam was already sitting and eating a salad.

“Anyways, how was class?” Tucker asked Danny as they both sat down.

“Yeah, you look like ass. What’s wrong?” Sam added.

Danny sighed. There was a lot going wrong today. He took off his backpack and set it on the table.

“What does ‘BOYF’ mean?”

Tucker took off his backpack and set it next to Danny’s on the table. His had “RIENDS” written on it in black marker.

“Oh, it says ‘BOYFRIENDS,’” Tucker said. Tucker and Danny both blushed and looked away from each other. Sam facepalmed, but neither of them noticed.

“Ancients, just because I’m pan and you’re bi it doesn’t mean we’re automatically dating, ugh,” Danny said. He and Tucker were just friends! Obviously! They were really close friends since they had known each other forever. It was normal to think about kissing your best friend sometimes.

“Yeah, they just don’t get that we’re just friends,” Tucker agreed.

The three sat in silence for a bit as they ate their lunches.

“Anyways, I wrote a love letter to Valerie during class today,” Danny said.

“Oh, how did that go?” Sam looked up from her salad.

“I, uh, incinerated it.” Danny cringed. “It wasn’t good.”

Tucker patted Danny’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I saw on Discovery that humanity has stopped evolving!”

“Would being half-ghost count as an evolution? Like in Pokemon?” Sam asked.

Danny contemplated this. “I don’t think so. Being half-dead doesn’t really count as progress.”

“Forget about that!” Tucker said. “Evolution is survival of the fittest, so now we don’t have to be strong to survive.” He elbowed Danny with a wide grin on his face. “That means there’s never been a better time in history to be a loser! So own it!”

Danny got what Tucker was saying, but he wasn’t really feeling it. He didn’t want to be a loser, because being one really sucked most of the time.

“Why try to be cool when you could be-”

Something caught Danny’s eye. His jaw dropped.

“Signing up for Ghost Hunting Club!” He felt like he should have expected this but he was still surprised. It was her!

“I was going to say getting stoned in my basement but-” Tucker said, slightly confused by Danny’s interruption.

“No, I mean look who’s signing up for the ghost hunting club!” Danny pointed and both his friends turned to look.

“Valerie? She is a ghost hunter, so that makes sense,” Sam said.

“You’re not going to-” Tucker started, but Danny didn’t hear the rest. He was already stepping away from their table. Without a conscious thought, he was already halfway to the sign up sheet.

Danny suddenly didn’t care what people were going to say. Valerie had signed up for the ghost hunting club, so he had to sign up too.

He grabbed the pen hanging next to the poster and wrote his name on the sheet.

“Freak!” Several A-Listers nearby taunted him. They were laughing at him, just like he knew they would when he saw the sign up sheet earlier. He tried to hide his embarrassment and walked away without saying a word.

“Are those bullies bothering you again, pal?” A familiar voice popped up next to him as he walked down the hall. Danny looked up and saw a sympathetic grayscale face as his ghost sense went off.

“Nah, it’s fine Sidney. Just the usual,” Danny shrugged, feeling resigned. Sidney Poindexter had become one of his ghostly allies at school ever since they got past their initial misunderstandings. Despite the fact that the ghost came from such a different era, they had a lot in common. “I know I’ll never be the cool guy, but it would be nice if someone could help me out, you know?”

Sidney nodded. “I know how that feels.”

The bell rang and students started to crowd the hallway. Sidney waved and disappeared and Danny was left alone again. The rest of the school day passed by and Danny barely paid attention.

Finally, the last bell of the day rang and Danny met Tucker and Sam by the classroom where the first Ghost Hunting Club meeting was going to be held.

“You don’t have to do this,” Sam said as she peeked through the window on the classroom door. It didn’t seem like anyone had arrived yet.

“Yeah, but we’ll mock you forever if you don’t,” Tucker said, patting Danny on the back. “Good luck, dude.”

“Thanks, guys,” Danny said. “Cya later.”

“Bye!” Tucker and Sam both waved and walked away, leaving Danny alone in front of the door.

“C’mon, c’mon,” Danny whispered and started to reach for the door. He slowly turned the door handle and opened it.

No turning back now.

#danny phantom #be more ghost #my fic #danny phantom fanfiction #my art

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ssolrii · 11 months ago

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Masterpost / introduction

About me : -

I can be awkward sometimes - and plus I can be a bit shy when interacting 🫶

I do traditional and digital art ,nothing much and im also a writer!

// if you wanna check out my undertale AU here’s the blog —> @spectraltale // - not finished - on hiatus (bc … couldn’t exactly make out the story but I’ll definitely release some of my concept art & the characters..+ the story plot I was going for.) ((how does ppl even make undertale aus?? Absolutely confusing.))

I use any pronouns - im honestly okay with any pronouns you use ^^ + im aroace

I speak English & Spanish (english isn’t really my first language, so my grammar might be off sometimes —)

About this blog —-

About asks - 🐺

It’s gonna be mostly about undertale + utmv , jjba and sonic since those are my biggest interests.

+ the blog is a safe space & nsfw will not be mentioned- besides that, im a minor.

If I don’t post a-lot it might be because of art block or something else

My other socials if you wanna follow ; Patreon ; ssolriix

———————————————————————

Fanarts are greatly appreciated even if it’s small or big ! (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡ + i might return the favor and also give surprised fanarts~!

(If i get the chance - sometimes or when motivation 😅)

———

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ that’s all !- i might edit soon if i wanna add more stuff to it.

#fyp #intro post #undertale au #utmv #art #undertale #blog intro #sth #sonic the hedgehog

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harrietbarnesblog · 1 year ago

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I Don't deserve you

Masterpost

Masterlist

Pairing: Felix x reader

Warning: angst, swearing and comfort in the end, self harm and mommy and daddy issue.

A/n: I'm very down rn so I write down what I need the most.

You fuck things up. When your mood gets down you push people away. No matter how much you love someone you push them away and hurt them. Your parents sent you away from home as soon as you turned 18. You never had a constant friend or a boyfriend. They leave and leave again. You started to feel like you were the problem.

But that changed when you met Felix. But sometimes it gets the best of you and you are drowning in self doubt and insecurity. And your old habits come back to you like a wave on the shore.

"Y/n, open the door please, I'm worried." Felix said, knocking on the bathroom door.

"I don't want your help. Go away." You said crying. Your hands were shaking and eyes were all blurry. Blood was oozing out of your wrists. "Leave me alone."

"Y/n please let me in."

"I fucked up and I fucked up felix. You'll hate me if I let you in. I'm too ugly. I'm not stable enough for you. Find someone better for you. I'm not good enough for you." You said, your voice shaking.

"Listen to me, y/n. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't live without you. You are precious. You are enough for me to last a lifetime. I'm never going to leave. You are so beautiful."

"Even my parents don't want me. Am I that unloveable?"

"No. Look, I love you. So much. All our friends love you. We all love you. Now open the door."

You slowly unlocked the door and Felix rushed in. He looked at your poor condition and his eyes started to water. He took the blade from your hands and threw it away.

"I'm so sorry, Lix. I couldn't help but cut myself. Don't look at me. Find someone better." You were sobbing.

Felix tore a piece of his t-shirt and pressed it tightly on your bruised lines to stop the bleeding.

He rummaged through the first kid that was in the bathroom cabinet to find ointment for the wound. He cleaned the wounds up, applied ointment and wrapped it up with the medical cloth. He didn't say anything while did everything.

"Look at me, y/n. Please stop doing this to yourself. I can't watch you destroy yourself. I love you so much. Words cannot express how grateful I am to have you in my life."

"I'm so sorry, Lix. I'm so sorry. I love you too. I love you so much that I'm scared one day you'll realise how fucked up I am and leave me."

"You are not fucked up. I'll never leave you."

He pulled you closer and hugged you tightly. He was not gonna let you go easily. He loved you so much and he wanted to make it clear to you.

"You are my everything, y/n. I'll never ever leave, that's a promise I'll hold on to till I die." He said, placing a kiss on your forehead.

#lee felix x you #lee felix x reader #lee felix x y/n #lee felix #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #stray kids felix #stray kids #stray kids x reader #felix x you #felix x y/n #felix x reader #felix

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thetarttfuldickhead · 1 year ago

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A Jamie-centric pre-OT3 Christmas story told in 25 short chapters.

Masterpost / AO3

16.

“And with that, it’s all over at Vicarage Road! Watford prevails 3-0 over fellow Premier League relegates Richmond, after a nowadays characteristically lacklustre performance from the Greyhounds. Jamie Tartt had Richmond’s best chance early on in the second half, but failed to capitalize on an elegant pass from Richard Montlaur, and Watford took full advantage of of the visitors’ inability to create anything truly dangerous.”

Jamie went through the motions, shaking the hands of the Watford players and hugging and patting his teammates on the back as he made his way off the pitch, but in his mind he was already back at his house, collapsing into bed and not getting up for at least ten hours. Let sleep pull him away from this fucking shitshow of a game, and the fucking shitshow that had been his visit at Keeley’s place yesterday, and the fucking shitshow that would be the upcoming holiday, because after how things had gone with Roy there was no chance in hell he’d be able to make things right with his mum.

Walking past a mirror in the visitors’ dressing room, he automatically took stock of his appearance, and would have recoiled at the sad sight if he hadn’t been too dejected to care even about that.

Jamie Tartt. The ghost of shitshows past, present and future.

“Don’t beat yourself up, boyo,” Colin said as he walked past him, likely assuming that Jamie’s look of defeat was all down to the actual defeat and the missed goal. “Happens to the best of us.”

“Yeah, evidently,” Jamie muttered, but with such a lack of conviction that it earned him a sympathetic smile and another pat on his shoulder rather than a scowl or eyeroll.

“It was very clumsy of you, but we still would have lost even if you had scored, so it doesn’t matter,” Jan Maas added, and Jamie wondered if it would really count as being a prick if he murdered Jan just a little.

“All right, boys, not gonna lie, that was a tough one, but you know—“ Ted with a rousing speech, and normally Jamie would have done his best to pay attention because that’s what the new and improved Jamie did, and because Ted’s speeches, long and confusing as they sometimes were, actually did tend to leave him feeling better.

But today he just couldn’t seem to keep focus on the gaffer’s friendly drawl, no matter how hard he tried, and he soon gave up. Sat down on the floor and let the words turn into background noise, shapless static, until the silence told him it was time to get up, get changed, get out.

The journey home was a silent affair, a far cry from their ride to Winchester the other day. It had started rowdy and only gotten worse as Declan brought out the hot toddy that his wife had made, and Jan brought out the bisschopswijn that he had bought, and Richard declared that both drinks were sinful waste of good wine and brought out four bottles of a very long French name that Jamie couldn’t remember.

Isaac had only let them have one sip of each offering, because “gonna be lots of little kiddies at the market, so we’re going to fucking behave, yeah”, but that had been plenty to warm them, and they’d descened upon the pitoresque market in an abundance of high spirits and good cheer.

Jamie had found his Mummy a nice blanket, and Roy a boxset of novels in an old bookshop that Sam convinced them to go into. (Well, he hadn’t found the set, Tom had, picking it up and asking, “hey, wasn’t this the guy Roy was obsessed with last year? I sat next to him on the ride to the Sheffield game and he was reading this book he just woulnd’t shut up about. Don’t think I’ve ever heard him talk that much before”, but it had been Jamie who quietly snuck back to the store after the others have moved on to the hot chocolate stall and bought the set.)

Fat lot of good that would do him now.

Jamie picked up his phone and started scrolling down his Twitter feed, hoping for something to distract him from the dull ache in his chest. Not a great idea, as it turned out; him fumbling that goal hadn’t exactly gone unnoticed. To make matters worse, City had won their game against Crystal Palace 3-0, and some industrious little twat had put together a stupid fucking video of Jamie scoring for City last season, him missing his shot today, a reaction shot of him as Watford scored, and City’s celebration of their win at Selhurst Park. imagine going from that to this just coz u wanna eat pussy on tv lmao, the caption read.

Jamie traced his thumb over the skyblue figures jumping and hugging each other as Pep walked among them, handing out cuddles and bum pats. De Bruyne had Paddy in a playful headlock, shouting something jubilant in his ear. Champions, well on the way to securing their fourth League title in a row.

That had been Jamie, just half a year ago. Could have been him still, if only—

But if he’d still been at City, he wouldn’t have had Dani leaning against his shoulder and soring gently as they turned onto Nelson Road. There’d have been no trip to Winchester. And – and that was the only thing that fucking mattered in the end, wasn’t it? – if he’d still been at City, his phone would be blowing up with calls and messages from Dad right about now, and the mere thought of it was enough to turn his stomach.

As if on cue, his phone started buzzing, startling him badly enough that he almost disloged Dani from his shoulder. “Sorry, amigo,” Jamie murmured, receiving a sleepy mumble in response, as he glanced at the screen.

Keeley, again. She’d tried calling him last night, and sent a couple of messages, but he’d let the call go to voicemail, ignored the voicemail, and the messages too.

It’d been fucking stupid of him to think she really wanted to help him with his brand, he supposed. He should talk to her, probably. Just to… Well. He didn’t know. Something.

Jamie declined the call. The coach came to a halt. He went home.

---

Two hours later, after he had dutifully eaten an nutritionst approved frozen meal and almost dozed off in front of Q&A, Jamie was jolted awake by a loud, insistent banging on his front door.

He sat, blinking and scowling towards the hall. Had Roy decided to come calling and yell at him some more? Jamie was not in the mood for that. If he just ignored it—

“Jamie! I know you’re in there, I saw your poncy car out front! Not gonna leave me out here in the cold, are you? Jamie!”

Jamie’s stomached dropped.

It wasn’t Roy. It was Dad.

#we're still on the 'hurt' bit of hurt/comfort #nothing goes well for jamie in this chapter i am sad to report #emotional whump?#kinda #jamie tartt #jamie's christmas carol #fic #my stuff

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devilofthehounds · 7 months ago

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God Eater 3 Character Novel | Beginning of a Vow: Chapter 2

[image id: A novel cover. Hugo Pennywort from God Eater 3 is leaning against the bars of a prison cell. He is holding up his hand and looking at one of his armlets as if reminiscing. On the other side of the bars is a faded image of a young Hugo looking off into the distance. The text, when translated into English, reads “God Eater 3 Character Novel | Chapter 1: Hugo Edition | Beginning of a Vow”. /end id]

This is a fan translation. Original text here.

Masterpost 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

After losing my parents in the Calamity, I wandered through the wilderness as a refugee until I arrived at a satellite base.

The base was small, with only a few dozen residents, but the people living there were all those who had lost their families and homes in the Calamity. The bonds between those who knew the same pain were incredibly strong.

When I arrived at the base, I was at my limit, both physically and mentally.

But everyone there shared what little supplies they had, and thanks to that, I somehow managed to recover. I was welcomed as a member of the base and gained a new family.

More than anything, I wanted to repay everyone's kindness. And so, alongside some other kids who felt the same way, we formed the five-member "Self-Proclaimed Satellite Base Defense Team".

As we spent our days helping everyone at the base, we'd sometimes look up at the narrow sky surrounded by the anti-Aragami armored wall and talk about our shared dream.

"Hey, Hugo, did you hear? There's gonna be a new base near here called a Port. It's gonna be a place that's safe from the Ashlands. They're gathering up lots of God Eaters there!"

My friend's eyes shone with anticipation as they shared the news with me.

"Huh... I wonder if we'll be able to live there."

"Sure we will! So, if we do... Why don't we all take the God Eater aptitude test?"

Their words took everyone by surprise, including me. It wasn't because they were saying something unreasonable.

I hadn't though the chance to make our dream come true would come so soon.

To be able to truly protect this place, as well as those precious to us.

That wish was the dream we shared as the defense team.

God Eaters. The protectors of mankind who devoured the raging gods. Our dream was beginning to take shape.

In the past, only a select few could become God Eaters, but now I'd heard they were actively recruiting new ones.

"But wouldn't that mean... we'd have to fight Aragami?"

We all looked at each other. Soon, our dream could become reality.

When I had that thought, the first thing I felt was... fear.

During my journey to the satellite base, I'd seen lots of adults killed by Aragami.

To those without power, they were death itself.

Even if I did become a God Eater, would I really be able to stand up to them with only the strength of a child? I was filled with worry and indecision. No doubt the others felt the same way.

But.

"...Let's take the test."

As I spoke, I locked eyes with my friends.

"It does sound kinda scary, but... together, there's no way we'll lose! Right?"

I smiled, trying to push down my fear.

The dream we held in our hearts wasn't so weak that it'd succumb to the fear of Aragami.

With them by my side, I truly believed I could overcome anything.

"Hugo... Yeah, you're right! Our team's unbeatable! Let's do it!"

"Alright! The five of us will be the satellite base defense team for real!"

"Yeah!"

As our voices rang out, we raised our fists high in the sky.

That was when it happened.

The ground shook as the armored wall opened, and three black trucks entered the base.

Adults in uniforms wearing red armlets stepped out of the trucks.

"We are God Eaters from Port Pennywort! In order to confront the looming threat of the Ashlands, we will now select candidates for the AGE aptitude test. We expect your full cooperation!"

Immediately after he said that, adults with guns poured into the base.

"Whoa... God Eaters from a Port! Let's go!"

Right as we were talking about Ports and God Eaters, this happened. We rushed out to the adults' trucks with anticipation.

But then—

"Five brats... Right, then. You're coming with us."

"Huh...? Ow, that hurts! W-What are you doing?!"

Suddenly, my arm was grabbed, and I was torn away from the others.

"H-Hey! Didn't you come to take everyone?!"

No one answered. Without giving me a second glance, the man shoved me into a truck and immediately locked it.

It was hard to tell from the outside, but the inside of the truck was dark with no source of light, reinforced by a cage-like lattice.

Sunlight barely filtering in through the gap in the doors revealed a faint glimpse of the inside of the truck.

Amongst miscellaneous pieces of luggage, kids around my age were sitting on the ground, holding their knees and looking down.

I could hear the adults in the base protesting outside.

But the doors didn't open again. The sound of the truck starting drowned out everyone's voices.

"Hey, wait a minute... Hey! Open the door!"

No matter how much I yelled, there was no response.

I heard the armored wall open and close, and I knew we were outside the base.

In a matter of minutes, my world had completely changed.

"Huh...? What is this...? What the heck is this...?"

The dark cage was filled with stagnant air, as if in the depths of despair.

None of the other kids looked up. Only their sobbing echoed in the darkness.

"...H-Hey, are you okay?"

I looked over and called out to the kid next to me, but they didn't say a word.

"Were you guys thrown in here, too? Where did you come from?"

I called out so that everyone in the truck could hear me. But still, no response.

I was struck with an indescribable anxiety, as if I was the only one unaware of our fate.

Even so, I still wanted to get through to someone. I crouched down beside another kid and tried to look them in the eye.

"Hey—"

But the words died in my mouth.

Their face was freshly bruised, as if they'd been beaten.

Their eyes, murky and devoid of light, silently turned towards me.

"Did... Did they do that to you?"

They cast their eyes down in affirmation. A chill went down my spine.

To go so far as to hurt a kid like this? And for what?

Those adults said something about confronting the looming threat of the Ashlands.

No way... Were we being taken to the Ashlands now?

Using violence to keep us from resisting—because we were kids who were going to die anyway?

My breathing became ragged as the images of despair in my head slowly became reality.

It was awful. Even though my eyes had been shining with dreams just minutes earlier, the moment I felt the presence of loneliness and death, I couldn't stop my body from shaking.

"My... My name is Hugo! Where did you guys come from?"

I had to say something, and fast. I couldn't stand being alone. All I had were these awful feelings washing over me.

I wouldn't care if it was a flimsy bond. I wanted a friend I could lean on, right here, right now.

"Don't worry! You're not alone! There's nothing to be afraid of! Hey!"

Name. Family. Where are you from? What do you like? What is your dream?

Anything. I wanted a response. I wanted a connection.

I wanted to be reminded that I wasn't alone.

But even though I called out to everyone there, in the end, no one responded.

"Hey... Please... Someone, please say something..."

Even my own voice seemed to fade into the darkness. Wrapped in heavy silence, I was unable to resist the feelings of vertigo and weakness in my body. I slumped to the floor, my back against the wall.

Were the other members of the defense team put on a different truck?

Or were they still at the base, worrying about me being taken away?

Could it be... I'd never see them again?

No matter how much I thought, I couldn't find any hope. Feeling my heart slowly grow colder, my eyes drifted, following the light that was coming in so thinly, as if it would disappear at any moment.

Just then—

In the corner of the truck, I noticed there was someone behind the loaded luggage.

Someone I hadn't called out to yet. It was possible they wouldn't listen, just like the others.

Even with that in mind, I staggered to my feet and headed in the direction of the thin light.

Leaving someone behind is no good. If we don't help each other, we can't survive in this world.

That's why we start by reaching out to each other. The people at the base had taught me that.

The kid seemed so scared crouched behind the luggage, his hood pulled so far over his head that I couldn't even see his face.

"...What are you doing back here?"

I moved the luggage out of the way and tried to get closer to him.

But he stiffened and jumped back further into the corner like a scared mouse, his wary gaze silently warning me.

"Heheh... I won't hurt you. I'm Hugo. And you?"

Sitting in the thin light, I let my voice echo once more in the dusty void.

He probably wouldn't respond anyway.

But even so, I decided to stay with him.

One kid sobbing in fear. Another so immersed in emptiness they couldn't even respond.

In this place full of people waiting to die, there was only one person.

Only this one person showed me the will to live.

"...Luca."

For a moment, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"...Huh?"

The kid was looking at me from behind his hood. He looked me in the eye and answered my call.

"Nice to meet you... Hugo."

I felt like I had found hope.

For sure, there was someone here, calling my name in the darkness.

The moment I felt that, an unbelievable warmth spread through my frozen heart.

"...Ah... R-Right! Nice to meet you, Luca!"

I wiped away my tears—from relief, perhaps—before they could spill over. I took Luca's hand.

"Luca, how did you get here? Do you know anything about those adults?"

"...My family died in the Calamity... I was the only one who survived. I was alone, running from an Aragami, when I got picked up by this truck."

"I see... You, too..."

"They're probably going to take us out to the Ashlands now. Are we... going to die there...?"

Anxiously, he squeezed my hand. I immediately squeezed it back tighter.

He, too, had been in cold despair.

Unlike me, he'd been alone for a long time, unable to find a place to call home.

Then I had to protect him. Just as everyone at the base had done for me.

This time, I...

"It'll be okay. No matter what happens, I won't die. I won't let you die, either."

It was a vow akin to a wish. I didn't want to lose any more connections.

"...Really?"

"Yeah. We're not gonna die, I promise you that."

Staring back into my eyes, Luca finally gave me a small smile.

Eventually, the truck pulled over. A flurry of activity began outside.

The doors opened, and several adults started yelling at us.

The other kids must have felt as though the gates of hell had opened.

But the two of us stood up, holding hands.

From the darkness, we headed out into a world full of light.

With our own feet and our own will, we took our first steps.

Translator's Note

#god eater #god eater 3 #ge3 #god eater 3 spoilers #ge3 spoilers #hugo pennywort #luca pennywort #god eater 3 protagonist #ge3 protagonist #ge3 protag #devil translates #ge3 character novel #ge3 character novel dx #hugo character novel #hugo character novel dx #devil chrono tag

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not-a-space-alien · 2 years ago

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Magnanimous Moonrise Chapter 20M

In this chapter: Valen discovers he and the humans have more in common than he thought

Warnings: Discussion of disordered eating and self-harm/cutting

Thank you for waiting so patiently for chapter 20!! btw I know the dual chapter format doesn't work super well for dialogue-heavy chapters, so I'll probably try something different the first time I get to a chapter where I think having two perspectives doesn't benefit the narrative.

Story masterpost

Complementary chapter

***

Valen was able to quell his mounting anxiety for a little while by resting in the coffin, with the door locked. Cozy and safe in the dark. Lex and Ari made indistinct sounds in passing outside, whispering, thinking him sleeping.

They gave a soft knock to rouse him, asking him to come out and permission to lift him bodily onto the couch, which he granted. They arranged him in the mountain of pillows, throwing a blanket out over his legs. Lex crooned over him and made sure he was as cozy as possible.

It felt…a little infantilizing, but he would take whatever comfort and softness was offered to him at this point. Maybe he could be a creature with dignity again sometime later in life.

The two other hunters came soon enough. Ari opened the door. One of the male hunters said something boisterously, which he couldn’t make any sense of, but which seemed to be a joke because the other humans all laughed at it.

Valen could tell Ari was unamused even just by looking at the back of her head. "You think you're so funny. You're gonna need Jesus to save you if you don't knock that shit off."

The larger one came in first. Bailey, he remembered. “You're right. We're actually here to deliver a pizza. You want an XL or medium?" The smaller one, Jerome, came in just in time for Bailey to hook his arms around his shoulders.

"What is this, dinner and a show?" Ari shut the door.

"Nah, we’re not doing standup. The show is what this is for.” Bailey gestured to a large instrument case strapped to his back, which Valen realized must be a guitar.

"You think you're so goddamn funny." Ari seemed to know her job was to play the irritated straight shooter, otherwise their antics would just be annoying rather than endearing.

"You know you love us."

"Only because nobody else will."

Bailey grinned widely, then turned towards Valen. "And there's the man of the hour! You're gonna eat like a king tonight."

Valen pressed himself fearfully into the back of the couch. The hunter’s tone was light, but all of a sudden, all Valen could picture was earlier when Bailey had been looking at him through the sight of a rifle.

"It is man, right? Jerome insisted it was man.”

“You were all juiced up on T when you got here,” Jerome added. “So I assumed. Sorry you haven’t been able to get your juice while you’ve been here. It’s clearly worn off by now.”

Why are you worrying about getting my pronouns right? Why is that what everyone’s focused on? He knew they were probably just trying to be respectful and make him feel better, but it did little to put him at ease.

Lex had done that, insist that Nick use the correct pronouns while torturing him. As though Lex thought torture was okay as long as she wasn’t also being transphobic. Like his gender was more important than his basic rights.

“S-sir, with all due respect, I appre-appreciate the apology, but I worry more about having my personal structural integrity respected than my gender identity.”

The four humans all looked at each other awkwardly.

“Right…” Jerome said. “Listen. I know an I’m sorry isn’t gonna do jack shit for something like….this. But we really do mean it. We’re sorry. That’s why we’re here to try and make up for it, even if it’s just a little bit.”

No, no, no, he couldn’t handle this. It was as if experiencing kindness from these four was just throwing it into relief how universally hated he was by everyone else. All his friends had left him, his husband and family were a menace, and now the humans, the ones he’d been trying to help, treated him like this.

Valen burst into tears. “You left me there, you just left me there, all of you. You just watched. And you’re the kind ones. What hope do I have, on either side of the border?”

Lex came over and wrapped her arms around him. “Shh, shh, you’re okay,” she soothed.

He tried to scoot back to put some distance between himself and Lex, choking back a sob. “I’m not okay! I’m very much not! I’m a starved and injured vampire in a room with four vampire hunters, who helped someone torture me! I would say this is as far from okay as one can be!”

Lex withdrew, looking hurt. Ari took her elbow and pulled her away. “Give him some space, Alex.”

Jerome sat down on the edge of the bed. Valen clutched the blanket to himself, tears streaming down his face. “I get it,” Jerome said. “We suck. I know we suck. I’m sorry we suck. Please let us try and suck a bit less by helping you.”

Valen loosened his death grip on the blanket.

“You’re safe,” Lex said. “I promise you’re safe now.”

“We realized how fucked up it was, what we did,” Ari said. “And now we’re trying to fix it. That’s it.”

“Okay,” Valen said, voice wobbly. “Thank you.”

“Do you want us to just feed you and leave?” Jerome said. “We were gonna, um, kind of hang out, but…well, if it’s just gonna make you feel worse, we don’t have to hang around.”

Valen tried to control his breathing. He was trying so hard to just listen, but they were four vampire hunters. “You can go about your business. I won’t–I don’t mind. I’ll stay out of the way. You won’t even know I’m here.”

“Er,” said Jerome, awkwardly fiddling with one of his locs. “No, I mean, we were going to hang out here, with you, to try and make you feel better.”

Got it.

She’s fucking rabid.

I told you it hurts them.

Put her in the trunk.

Fuck, tie it up first.

Settle down!

Valen curled in on himself, ears involuntarily pinned to his head, lip wobbling. “I–I–I–”

“It’s okay,” Bailey said, sitting down and putting an arm around Valen. “Breathe, babydoll. It’s okay.”

I’m sorry we suck. Please let us try and suck a bit less.

Valen broke down into tears. “Why did you think it would be okay to do that to me even if I wasn’t innocent? Why do you think anyone deserves that? I was in there for six months, locked in the coffin except to be taken out and tortured, and you didn’t even give me a chance, you kidnapped me and tortured me, you didn’t even let me talk, and–and–” His protest dissolved into wretched sobs. “Why do you think it’s okay to do that to any living creature? You’re monsters.”

Bailey eased back, face dark. The humans all looked at each other awkwardly as Valen continued to bawl.

Jerome patted the blanket. “Listen…” he said. “Like I said, saying sorry can only go so far. Trying to make it up to you can only go so far. I’m not saying it’s right, or we should have let it happen. But maybe you’ll be less freaked out if you understand. Most of us have lost family members to vampires. We know what happens to them. They just get taken and snatched up out of nowhere, thrown into the meat grinder. It’s happened to us, and it can happen again, to anyone we care about, at any time. I don’t know if you’ve ever been through something like that, but it….does things to you. Makes you numb. Makes you care less about things you’d normally care about. Makes you think someone on the other side should have a turn suffering. Makes you think maybe you should just let the unthinkable happen if it means it can stop the flow of blood.”

“It’s fucked,” Bailey says, tears welling in his eyes. “The whole thing is just fucked. Valen, man, please, you gotta understand. The only vampires we ever meet are the ones who cross the border, and they're usually the worst of the worst. We never met anyone like you before. We’re on edge all the time, knowing every night someone wants to kidnap or kill us. Obviously I’m not saying it was right, but surely you gotta understand at least a little bit, right? We’re not total monsters, I promise we aren’t.”

“You know what vampires are capable of,” Ari added. “You know how they can be dangerous. But you don’t feel it like we do. You’ve never been a prey animal.”

Valen had felt like a prey animal more than he cared to admit, more than he could describe. But they were right, to an extent…

Valen squeezed his eyes shut and took in deep breaths, trying to calm himself. “Yes,” he said carefully. “I understand, in theory, the reasons behind your actions.”

“I’m sorry it took us so long to realize,” Lex said. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry we just ignored the way you were suffering.”

Valen thought about the humans at his previous home, the ones the other nobles fed on, and how he’d refused to feed on them, and then did nothing else to help them. He had even less justification. He hadn’t done that out of mortal peril and desperation like they did. It’d been out of inertia and apathy and lack of initiative. Out of fear of change and radical action.

He’d thought to himself, If I free those humans, they’ll just go get more, so it wouldn’t do anything. And he’d been right, in a way, in that the problem was systemic and not on an individual level. But…he’d refused to feed on them out of squeamishness, and then walked past them every day and didn’t help, the same way these humans had done to him. He understood the reasoning far better than he wanted to admit.

“Okay,” he said, his rabbit-quick heartbeat finally slowing down. “I understand why you did it. I do. It’s just difficult to feel safe.”

“We’ve learned our lesson,” Lex said. “We’re not gonna let something like that happen again, to you or to anyone.”

Valen nodded. “Thank you. Thank you, ma’am.”

“There, see? Everything’s okay.” Bailey slung his guitar around and started to pluck a few strings. “Now, time for dinner and a show!”

Valen couldn’t help but smile. Bailey and Jerome were just so….goofy. It felt weird. Like as though he hadn’t expected the vampire hunters to have any personality beyond wanting to hurt him. “Excellent,” he said timidly. “I’ll be sure to spread the word about the excellent service at your establishment, haha!”

“Oh he’s funny,” Jerome said.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s funny, but he’s also fucking hungry I bet. Time to chow down, big guy.” Bailey rolled his sleeve up. “Ari said the arm is an option, yeah?”

“Um…” Valen shrank back. “I can’t bite–You–you pulled my fangs out.”

Bailey blinked. “Ah. Shit. We did.”

Ari wordlessly handed over her knife.

“Right…” Bailey said. He took the knife unhappily. Jerome looked like someone had threatened to stab him, and took a step back without a word. Valen looked at him apprehensively.

“All right, here I go,” Bailey said, looking queasy. He positioned the knife over his arm, in the spot where it seemed safest. He took in a pained, hissing breath as he made a cut with the knife.

“Jesus, you big baby,” Ari said.

“Ey, ey, some of us don’t see blood once a month, ya know. Only when something’s the matter.” He sat on the edge of the bed and held his bleeding arm out to Valen. “Eat up.”

“Thank you, sir,” Valen said politely, and bobbed his head in a bow. He leaned forward and took Bailey’s arm delicately, drinking in small, dainty sips.

“There ya go,” Bailey said, ruffling Valen’s hair. “Bet that feels better.”

Valen finished his drink, swiping his tongue over the wound to close it, then bringing his head back up, licking his lips. “It does. Thank you, sir.”

Jerome was still cowering against the wall. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Ari said. “The two of us are plenty.”

“Is everything okay?” Lex said. ��Like, something up?”

“Um.” Jerome swallowed and drew forwards, wringing his hands. “No, I–I want to help. I want to help him get better. I do. I just…”

“Is getting fed from too much, even if it’s from an open cut?” Lex said. “Blood loss affect you?”

“Um...” Jerome nervously shook his head. “I, no, that’s not it. I-”

Valen panicked a bit, guilt and fear flooding him, as he saw the internal struggle about whether or not to feed him. “Don’t feel obligated, sir, it’s quite all right. I’ve had more than enough for today.” Two feedings was definitely enough to stave off the hunger–if he wanted to get back to a healthy weight, he’d definitely get better faster with more, but this had saved him from the hunger at least. But what was the issue? Was Jerome afraid of him? That wasn’t good, at all. It’d seemed like things were going well, but now he started to spiral into anxiety again.

“I want to,” Jerome said, sounding like he was about to cry. “I do, I’m sorry. I just can’t, man. I’m sorry.”

Bailey squeezed his shoulder. “You don’t have to tell them, J-man.”

“No, I…Okay, yeah, I want to.” Jerome sighed. He rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie, revealing a series of scars striped up his forearm. They looked old, but they were easy to see because they were raised and bumpy, and darker in color than his already-dark skin. “I just, um…I just got some baggage about cutting myself,” he said, swallowing thickly.

Lex and Ari both looked sorrowful. “Oh,” Lex said softly. “Of course. Don’t worry about it. Whatever you can handle. It’s fine if you can’t.”

Valen was horrified by the reveal of this injury, but….the humans all seemed to know what this meant, and Valen….didn’t know what could have caused an injury like that. His imagination ran wild trying to guess. Had Jerome been forced to cut himself to feed vampires before?

“I would never force you, sir,” Valen says. “I promise. I don’t know….why, or who would make you do that, but…”

The humans all looked at him like he’d grown a second head. He shrunk back fearfully. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry if that was rude, sir, I am–I just don’t understand, I-”

Jerome laughed, his thick voice breaking up the tension in the air. “Of course. Oh my God. Vampires don’t scar, so of course you wouldn’t know. I can’t imagine they self-harm either.” He ran his fingers over his forearm. “I…did this myself. When I was younger.”

“What? Why?” Valen blurted out before he could stop himself. He was horrified by this idea.

“It’s hard to describe,” Jerome said. “I was…in a lot of emotional pain. It felt like…I didn’t deserve to not be in pain, in a way, that I deserved it. Or maybe it was easier to have a bigger problem. A cut on the arm is easier to treat than feeling like shit, you know? You probably wouldn’t get it, but it made sense to my brain at the time.”

Never in a million years would Valen have guessed a human would feel like that. He’d had thoughts like that before, but they’d been driven by guilt, and disgust at himself. He’d never cut himself, but he’d starved himself often enough. But he did that because he needed to hurt others to feed, why would a human hate themselves enough for that? Why could they possibly feel guilty about existing like Valen did?

Maybe he shouldn’t say this. Maybe when he tells them about he’d sometimes gone days without eating because of the shame and self-loathing, only eating when the hunger pains became too much to bear, maybe they’ll say he should have done that, because he’s a monster and hurts others when he takes care of himself.

“I…do get it,” Valen says bravely. “More than I care to admit. I…often starved myself for similar reasons. I felt too guilty to eat. Too guilty for existing. I never cut myself, but I often had self-inflicted pain. It was….stupid.”

Jerome let out a slightly choked murmur of pity, putting a hand on Valen’s shoulder. “It wasn’t stupid, man, neither of us were. I mean, heck, for you, it at least made sense, right? Because you felt guilty for drinking people’s blood, yeah? That’s only natural.”

“No, I…I still did that to myself even when I started drinking the imported blood.”

They all blinked at him. Oh, they…they didn’t know about the imported blood? But of course, how would they know?

“There are specialty shops on the other side of the border who import blood from overseas,” he explained. “Where there’s infrastructure for collecting it from paid volunteers. Places where things are kinder.”

“That’s awesome!” Lex said. “Holy shit!”

Valen nodded. “Yes. So I shouldn’t have felt guilty for eating then, but… It still lingered.” He looked up at Jerome. “I wouldn’t have thought humans would have any reason to feel that way. You’re innocent.”

Jerome gave him a sad smile. “It’s so much more complicated than that, man. We got…things to cope with even though we don’t have to drink blood, ya know? I dunno if you want me to dump all this on you, but my… I was depressed as fuck growing up. It’s easy to fall into when things seem so hopeless. It’s so hard to stay outta jail, when it feels like they’re trying to get you in there. And my… the first time doing it was when…”

He put his head in his hands, starting to cry. Bailey sat down and put his arms around him. “It’s okay. You’re all right.”

“When my Daddy found out I was gay,” Jerome choked out. “And I told him I was worried about–about catching GRID, or whatever that-that gay flu going around is, that people are dying from and he said- he said maybe it would be better if I did.” He broke down into full-blown sobs.

Lex and Ari came over and added themselves to the comforting hug as Jerome cried. Valen stared at him with misty eyes, absolutely blown away. For some reason, he hadn’t imagined humans to be capable of such cruelty. At first, to anyone–he wouldn’t have guessed they could be so cruel to him, a vampire, but to say such a thing to another human?

Why?

His worldview had started to crumble in his hands. He’d mostly been picturing humans living picturesque, ideal lives ruined only by the monstrous actions of vampires. How had he been so narcissistic to think the world revolved around him and his crimes like that? Why hadn’t he thought that humans were fully-realized individuals who could invent their own bigotry against other humans?

“I’m…sorry, sir,” Valen said. “That’s unbelievably cruel. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Jerome sniffed and looked up at him, wiping his eyes. “Yeah,” he said, voice wobbly. “But hey, I don’t have to care about what he thinks anymore. Fuck him, haha. I got everyone I need right here.”

“Yeah, man, yeah you do.”

Jerome disentangled himself from the hug. “Well–Well I don’t care that my blood ain’t good enough for the Red Cross–it’s good enough for you, and you know blood better than they do. Come on, let’s figure out some way to make this work, huh?”

The group tossed ideas around, and hemmed and hmmed for a while, before Jerome eventually agreed that it would be okay to make two pinpricks, like a bite, rather than a cut. It took a lot longer to get the blood out, but Jerome didn’t mind, and good-naturedly played with Valen’s hair while he did so, which was soothing.

Valen was overfull by the time he was done. He was starting to get a bit afraid that he’d throw up again. “Thank you, sir. I feel much better now.”

“Well, we ain’t done yet!” Bailey jovially picked up his guitar. “Get ready!”

“R-ready for what?” Valen stammered.

“He’s gonna play you a song,” Lex said.

“It’s supposed to make you feel better,” Jerome said. “If you’d rather not, we don't have to.”

Valen drew the covers further up himself. “That-that sounds nice. That could be nice. Thank you.”

“Right,” Bailey said. His fingers started working at the guitar strings, plucking out a jaunty tune. “Now I’m good on the guitar here, and Jerome’s got the golden pipes, so I’m gonna let him lead, and I’ll be the backup singer.”

Jerome reached into his bag and pulled out a tambourine, shaking it. “And you ladies might know the words to this song, so feel free to sing along.” This with a wink at Valen, which caused him to slide down into the couch.

Jerome started singing.

Oh it happened one night when the moon was bright

And full, but not as full as my heart.

Lex and Ari instantly recognized the song and joined in, smiling widely and laughing. Apparently this song is….very funny, but Valen had never heard it.

When I saw her, I knew she could tear me apart

She was pale and dead and covered in blood but hey

Nobody’s perfect

And she paralyzed me with a glance

No persuasion needed

And no sooner had my lips touched hers

Than all the blood had left my body

But it was worth it in the end as the feeling fled my limbs

Valen went beet red, realizing suddenly that the song was about a human man taking a vampire lover and getting killed for it. It was undeniably a sad story, but…it was so chipper. Was this supposed to be a joke?

Bailey knelt down next to Valen, gesturing to him grandly during a particularly intense verse.

Oh you’re so big and bad it’s true

But that’s what I like about you

Jerome knelt on his other side, shaking the tambourine.

It’s true that you could snap me in half

But baby, maybe I’m into that.

Valen tossed the covers over his head, mortified.

And if this ends with me getting all my stuff sucked out, Well,

That’s sort of what I was hoping for

There was silence for a moment, no one singing, the guitar twanging. He cautiously raised his head and peeked over the blanket, only to find that everyone was looking at him and pointing.

“I’m sorry,” he stuttered. “I don’t know the words.”

“Oh, this part is just a big growl,” Bailey said.

Valen’s eyes bounced around the room.

“Go on,” Jerome said. “Give us your scariest growl.”

Valen nervously clutched the blanket, scanning them all one last time to make sure it was really okay before letting out a tiny, strangulated noise.

They all knew Valen had a better growl in him. Hell, they’d heard him give better growls, in the basement. But he was afraid to go too hard, to seem too threatening. Nobody pushed it. They gave a cheer.

Valen’s spirits soared. He’d participated, and they were all cheering for him. He knew it was supposed to be a silly song, clearly it was supposed to be a silly song, but…. It made him feel better. Less alone. Less different from the humans, to know that he wasn’t the only one who’d had lofty ideas about love between humans and vampires, to think about a world where a human would walk up to a vampire and kiss her.

His eyes shifted over to Lex and Ari. He couldn’t decide how he felt about them. But he was definitely feeling something.

***

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