#gonna have to turn around and go home
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i miss watching the tonys every year and the theatre community and going to see live theatre so fucking much
#last time i saw a live show was 2019#last time i've been to warsaw too#i'd spent most of my life being going there all the time#as it's only 1.5h away#i'm going there for the first time since 2019 next week for a doctor's appointment#and it's going to be such a gigantic hassle i don't know for sure if i'm going to make it through the car ride and everything or if we're#gonna have to turn around and go home#i used to just get on a bus and go there#alone#just take the bus walk to the theatre take the bus home#how is this my real life
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KEEP THE DANGER OUT // KEEP THE DANGER IN
#billie bust up#bbu billie#bbu fantoccio#robin’s art#2024 art#COMPANION PIECES BABY!!! started these last year (month) and finally finished em!!! :33#i could write an ENTIRE essay abt billie and fanto and their parallels and stuff#which actually i love tumblr tags. lets do some of that here!#okAY IM NOT GONNA GO INTO EVERYTHING BUT HERES A BASIC RUNDOWN OF SOME OF MY THOUGHTS#let’s start by looking at goatshire + the lost city of magic !!#both places have some kind of border around them keeping SOMETHING in/out#goatshire’s wall keeping the trolls/other danger out; keeping the villagers inside safe#and the city’s barrier keeping the curse inside; while keeping everyone outside safe from it#but in turn it’s also keeping billie and fanto trapped in their respective places#one moreso than the other i guess but ahahaha. haha. heh. OKAY MOVING FORTH#unrelated but how sick would it be if the barrier broke and let the curse out. just sayiiin.. a lil theory thats been on my mind recently#anyways back to THE POINT#okay this parts gonna sound insane BUT JUST HEAR ME OUT HERE#goatshire citizens / the cursed city citizens.#billie and fanto both kinda stick out in their respecitve homes; fanto being the only uncursed guy and billie with their magic#so theres like. a real disconnect between them and others there. u get what i mean.#theyre both outliers and like something something allegory for neurodivergence and struggling to connect with others probably#SORRY GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF. idk how to explain it BUT DO U GET IT!!! DO U UNDERSTAND!!!!#also they were both abandoned by SOMEone stares at arthur#okay specifically whoever fanto’s cretaor was left him behind but u know me im such a fanto elmtwig jak#something something loneliness and being left behind and having ppl around you who kinds understand u but also not totally. kicks rock#someone get these siblings some THERAPY!!!!!!!#this was a very disjointed explanation bUT HOPEFULLY I GOT MOST OF MY THOUGHTS ACROSS GOOD. IM BAD AT EXPLAINING THINGS SORRY#someone order me a yappuccino!!!!! BYE!!!!
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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Wah-Rosalina (wosalina?)
she's from the sea but she keeps trying to convince people she's from space bc she thinks its cooler (she's not very convincing)
#mario#mario bros#princess rosalina#nintendo#nintendo fanart#I was in a call while making her n 90% of it was just talking abt how she'd fail to convince people she's from space#Like she'd only ever hang out w people by the sea n when it's time for her to leave she's like 'no you gotta turn around#'cause if you dont the UFO isn't gonna pick me up. they dont like being seen yk' n then she just sprints into the ocean#someone asks her how she moves on her home planet and she just makes a swimming motion (because low gravity!!! see!!!)#if anyone mentions anything abt space she'll follow it up with oh I knew that. yeah I just didnt tell anyone#whats that? there's a wedding chapel on the moon? well of course there is. I knew that. I got married there. Who's my wife? shut up.#She's banned from the observatory bc she keeps using the telescope to look for space boyfriends (and girlfriends)#She's jealous of rosalina bc how come SHE got to go to space?? huh???#if someone told her abt rosalina's dead mom she'd deadass go 'well where's MY dead mom huh???'#'why can't I have a dead mom n go to space?? huh??? huh!!!!!'#She's the worst. I love her sm
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...
#i turn 27 tomorrow and i feel like my life is collapsing in around me#i officially made the decision to take the summer off. which i hate. which means i have to get a summer job#when ive only ever had jobs in academia so my resume looks insane if im applying to work in a bakery or whatever#im just so tired. everything makes me so tired and sad. i still dont kno what im gonna do#im glad my dad is here bc he gets it more than most ppl bc hes also dyslexic and like everyone assumes im fine bc ive got this far#but like at what cost? im doing a job where im set up to suffer. and for what? im doing something so niche and weird#all i can do is more academia. but what if i cant cut it? what if i would b better off getting a epa job or something where i can do my job#and then go home and stop thinking abt it. how do i apply the stupid bullshit i decided to study? i should have done Ecosystem restoration#or something. its just that my dream was to study weird things in weird places and now it feels like that dream is collapsing#which is devastating. im gonna try to come back in the fall and give it a go but like i dunno it feels so hopeless rn#im just so tired. i have no joy. i just want to lay on the floor#unrelated
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Ofc he posts this shit when im in this fucky wucky ass landromat doing my fucky wucky ass laundry and got another fucky wucky ass 40 minutes waiting for ts to dry im so
#and NO i cant go home bc I live 30 minutes away and once i open that fucky wucky ass door im gonna have to turn my ass back around and come#right back im#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse
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honestly my landlord making the third unit in our townhouse into an airbnb is incredibly fucked and sinister and indicative of so fucking many problems in the states however. also a little funny. she maybe didnt think to check whether the other neighbors dogs bark literally all day long but boy do those dogs love to bark all day long and she is going to get so many complaints
#i feel like i manifested this on accident#i came home like three days ago and just stopped and stared at my door for a while before unlocking it#because i got a sudden flash of that one photo that was going around#of the door painted with 'a family used to live here' on an airbnb#and i kind of shook it off and went god that would be fucked. i hope that doesnt happen here#and then literally today my neighbor was like yeah shes turning the third unit into an airbnb#have i mentioned recently enough how much i hate airbnbs#cause its so so much#i hope she loses so much money#im gonna sit on the front steps shirtless with my pitbull and she can deal with that
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Trying my hand at scenery and landscape stuff again for a change
(It doesn't show up well in the photo, but the outlines of the mountains are done with gold ink, it looks pretty fun irl)
#i know the mountain landscape isn't super realistic but i like how it turned out anyway#i think it has a sort of fairytale vibe that i enjoy#watercolor pencils#my art#drawing#traditional art#art#landscape#scenery drawing#anyway i'm probably gonna go right back to character drawings with tools i'm more at home with very soon#but for now i'm having fun just messing around and seeing what happens
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Body update: it turns out that after about a year (ish) of trying to eat more healthily and avoiding fast food, my body cannot handle some of the meals I used to enjoy anymore
I had a burger last week at DND and was sick, and I thought it was bc the burger particularly greasy, but then when I ordered from my usual place today (less horrendously greasy but still, you know, a fast food burger) I actually kinda stopped enjoying it three bites in and had to put in some effort to finish it x)
Oh well
#Matt has a life#Shit from home#In other news: couldn't do 2x20mn of walking yesterday cause I had to drive to the post office#and driving a motobike is demanding on the knees#but I did one turn today and everything seems fine#gonna do another set later and see how it goes#and if we can keep that up until next week I'll try and see if we can up it to 1x30mn and 1x20mn#The goal being to be able to walk for at least 40mn at a time before I try going to the gym again#at which point I'll use the running machines to try and walk on a gradually increasing incline#... at this point it might actually be a good idea to see a physio#but I don't like the one I visited before -_-#Edit: other posotive effect of better food and regular exercise: I lost about 4kg since dec. 2022 and am now back around 95#which is much more comfortable for me than where I was before#would I complain about going down to 90kg? no#but I'm 34 and planning on having a baby soon so that doesn't sound likely#especially bc like#diets are a myth#and if my body's ideal weight were 100kg that's where I'd be regardless of diet#so we'll see how that goes#I'm fine with where I'm at rn
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some rough drafts of the last batch of ygo drag queens (minus mako tsunami who i'm still figuring out her style) starring Angel (Yugi Muto), Demonia (Yami Muto), Parasitica (Weevil Underwood), Kisara (Kisara), and of course, your judges and the main reason we're all here, Mai Valentine and Pegasus
#drag me to ygo hell#yu gi oh#i'm mad at how cool weevil turned out#i was gonna send her home first but now i don't know#i also realized i have not been using some of my cc correctly#so i'm probably going to go back and adjust everyone's make up#also maybe play around with their padding and tattoos#and then i have to do their confessional looks
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y’all my sister got me sick and I literally feel like a fragile Victorian child one cough away from dying
#I was coughing so hard last night I threw up bro 😭#the only reason I’m alive is cause I’m running on DayQuil and emergen-c#I had to call out of work but I still have to go to class#bc I didn’t go on Monday#bc there was a car accident on the only route that leads to campus from my house#and I sat in traffic for 30 minutes before just turning around and going home cause I wasn’t gonna make it on time anyways#I’m a little better than I was yesterday (aka I can actually swallow and somewhat breathe and my head doesn’t feel like a pressurized tank)#but I still feel like shit 😭
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There’s a possibility that Damien won’t go home next season.
To be fair, the possibilities for Second Citadel next season are so many, and so varied, and I still don’t know what to make of that ending so I’m not sure any prediction I make will be rooted in anything but vibes - but vibes are what I’ve got, and lots of time for predictions. And I think there’s a chance that Arum and Rilla will have a hard time convincing him.
He spent the majority of last season following Sir Tristan, and while that’s not a decision he wanted to make, it is a decision he ultimately made - repeatedly. Whether or not anyone blames him for it, I have a feeling that’s going to stick with Damien, especially after his assertion in the finale that “I always have a choice.” When he has a chance to reflect on that, will he be forgiving of himself? Maybe. But he hasn’t been lately, about a lot of things.
In the end, he also had to make the choice to coax the being in the tower to hatch. Putting aside how it seemed like Damien, specifically, was brought to the tower for that purpose - he talked to that being. He made promises. He had a part in… whatever it was that came after, disastrous as it was.
All of this is to say, there’s a strong possibility that Damien is going to feel extremely responsible for whatever fallout there is for what happened at the tower. I think he’s the type of person who would want to fix it - or help fix it, or help with recovery efforts, or whatever the case may be. I think he’d feel beholden to his word, too; he made a promise to make the world a better place. I didn’t get the impression that those were empty words.
So, when Arum and Rilla find him, finally… I think Damien might want to stay. Or feel like he needs to stay, even if he’s heartsick for home. Arum is already pushing his limits, he’ll have to go back to the swamp; I can’t see Damien being okay with him making the return trip, or having to stay there, alone. None of them are going to like it, but they’re in a difficult position, especially if the damage has spread farther than Silvershore and Titan’s Bloom is at risk.
Arum may get the questionable opportunity of sharing something Rilla has years of experience with - waiting to see if Damien ever makes it home.
#the penumbra podcast#second citadel#tpp spoilers#damien#rad bouqet#i could be entirely wrong!!#i really have no idea what's gonna happen next season#but it was thinking...#it's really not gonna be easy to convince Damien to just turn around and go home after all of that#and Arum... kinda has to#so!! where does that leave us!!#if nothing else it is some TASTY fic potential#and i am always about tasty fic potential
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the day my grandpa died i couldn't stop thinking about my cousin. he's 10. and he's just, hes so so tiny. hes so sweet in that way only kids are. he still has a little kids voice and hes in 5th grade. hes just a child.
i was 10 when my sister died. those two facts don't mix in my mind. because hes so tiny. surely i wasnt that young. i didnt feel that young when it happened. i felt so grown and mature and like i was taking it so well and being so strong for my mom and i cant accept in my mind that i was that small too
#my (different) cousin says he remembers looking at me in the chapel during my sisters funeral#says i was walking around the coffin looking at her and kissing her forehead#i have no memory of that whatsoever#in december during my grandpas funeral i couldnt even look at him. my brain shut down and tried to pretend that wasnt real#i tried texting my friend about it and i couldnt even type out what was happening. i wanted to say ''we're here with my grandpas corpse''#but i literally could not. i just sent something like ''we're here at the place''#ive been repressing that so hard that i forget hes dead. not that i think hes still alive and at home i just dont think about it at all#however ive been thinking about my sister all day every day#shed turn 12 this year. thatd be 7th grade. i mean i dont know if shed go to school at all bc we dont know what her development wouldve#looked like growing up but still. next year its gonna be a decade since she died.
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im like if the most useless boytoy twink was also an incredibly handy butch lesbian
#this post is about me collapsing as soon as i got home from work#where i used a garden hoe i sharpened myself to hack down+tear out a truly impressive thistle 3× my size while 3 of my coworkers watched#swung it overhead like an axe until the centre stalk (almost the size of my wrist) was felled. then hoed around it until the roots came free#& i could grab it with my hands where there werent any thorns. turned around and all 3 of em were lookin at me like 😳😳 lmao#but now im sitting in my bathtub bc i cant stand long enough to shower anymore hdksgsk#knew this morning it was a bad pain day but pushed thru it anyway bc!! there was work to do!! but now im gonna be totally useless for 24hrs#cest la vie i suppose#after the thistle was properly disposed of just kept tilling+weeding+fixin tomato cages in the fields. came home & felt sooo dykey+hot lmfao#was like ''fuck yeah man idk what was up with me this morning im feelin fine now! great even!''#then took my knee braces off to get into the shower & almost busted my ass on the tile when both of em gave out🤦#my shoulders are now reminding me that i Dont Have the muscle mass to use a bigass hoe like anything but a hoe w/out Paying For It later#its a good thing i have the day off tomorrow bc im going to turn into a slug as soon as im done steaming meself like a little dumpling#definitely thinkin about using my pathetic-wet-cat-charm to get someone to bring me food tonight tho... hmm#anyway. wheres that post#''im not a butch but i believe their beliefs''#its my exectution thats lacking lmao. but in any case#mwah. mwah mwah mwah#<-for all the butches out there. ily tysm youre wonderful#and to all the useless boytoy twinks out there: o7 <3#godspeed fellow hopeless fags. ily too. keep doin what yr doin lmao#bee speaks
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and i draw parallels solely on the cinematographic basis of “when my man is no more than a millimeter away from perturbation at all times but you give the Whole Right Half Of The Screen 3/4 Closeup of Harrowing Recontextualizations�� like that’s right. we’re living it up
#i mean i guess it counts lol. said generally similar cinematographic approachs for said very generally similar scenarios#(a) when a guy shows his hand (shit) & the Team Experience is in shambles & you're two sec away from shooting him for real....#nemik not even being around for said ''oh so this guy is like that then apparently'' but Insisting on giving cassian his manifesto when we#all knew like oh f you're gonna get it lol. unsurprised but not unmoved that nemik's manifesto is the source of that Quoteth....#paraphrasing closely from memory the frontier of the rebellion is everywhere even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward#the imperial need for control is so desperate b/c it is so unnatural tyranny requires constant effort it breaks it leaks....#(b) when against all odds you busted out of island forever factory labor electric containment torture execution jail and made it to a phone#make a risky call home to relay to your mom that you're alive and all only to be informed that she is not#and both still like serving as [major turning points] naturally. end of ep six; end of ep eleven of twelve....#love some drama. even on top of ''oh we knew you'd die but now we know you're dying'' and then like escalation on escalation like umm what's#our bestie here talking about. oh i see. oh he's getting quickdraw blown away right on really at this point; makes sense in this position;#still what a surprise lol truly....that we Aren't surprised maarva dies not only b/c it's heavily cued but also We find out at the ep start#like the one guy dying in prison while we Know that's coming but heaping drama on drama as the doctor tells them what happened on floor two#and we get yet more Acting Wins as andy serkis (lino?)#(nah looked it up & i spoonerized that lol. kino loy. i Only Just Now have one name per each of that heist team down i think lol) so anyways#andy kino loy serkis is getting to be the king of Harrowing Recontextualizations in that moment. ugh just great shit going on throughout#there was a Lot of great [i'm perturbed to harrowed] acting all across the board. its being by and large a cast of characters who are all#like wary and continually endangered with varying degrees of urgency. like the rec abt this series as [tfw depiction of police state life]#star wars ///#andor#truly cassian my [he has the face of a friend] cassian#he really does have this key energy of like your insta new best friend and comrade....nemik's delivery w/''i wrote abt you last night.'' Fun#again like also unsurprising he'd already land on cassian out here like ofc i'll give my crucial legacy work to that guy who just showed up.#and And I Insistingly....and he's right
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interrupting non-rgg posting with non-rgg posting do you guys wanna look over my pros-vs-cons list of grocery shopping today thanks
#not rgg#snap chats#i didnt do the full shopping yesterday cause it was late by the time i got to go out and near all the shops were closing OOPS#my bestie asleep so i cant ask her :( this also feel like a dumbass question anyway so it my turn to ask everyone a question <3#anyway review the list with me. ok.#cause the pros of going is that I Get Tasty Food. And Probably More Shit I Didn't Need#i get to buy snacks for my class tomorrow#im wearing a nice outfit :) and that means i get to walk around and wear it more. no one'll comment on it but i'll be happy wearing it#cons: i was JUST at ebisu yesterday and HUUUGE doubt i'll be remembered by the cashier#but the cameras will remember me....#i should finish up the last two comms i have (though counter argument is that i can finish those when i get home)#i finished one this morning so i dont feel too guilty bout not getting work done#yeah thats. thats really it. 🧍♂️#like i really cant think of another con 🧍♂️ AND YOUD THINK THAT'S GREENLIGHTS THEN BUT....#cause im tihnking of grocery shopping today but it feels weird to do it on a thursday#But Today's Also PROBABLY The Best Day To Do It#anyway if everyone may indulge me being a dummy just this once. thanks <3#im gonna work on one of those remaining comms for like an hour. or until i finish the lineart. so like twenty minutes ☠️#and ill see how i feel then#sorry im obsessed with going to the city over i love walking and walking into shops and being alive
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