#gonna go on a thrift hunt one of these days

[nikothebookdragon]

aaaaa I have,,, THE most Slay outfit idea in my head for an event coming up,,,,, I however have neither the money to buy all the parts nor the skill/time to make them,,,,, this is torture

[raiiny-bay]

making something (maybe)

[justagalwhowrites]

Hi! Soooo I've read a lot of amazing Joel Miller fics, but Lavender is seriously my all time favorite. Doc and Joel's story just made me so emotional. Here's my request for a drabble/oneshot- a sneak peak into Doc and Joel's relationship when they first get together pre-outbreak. Specifically, Joel takes Doc out on a nice dinner date for the first time and she feels super special and they are starting to catch so many feels for each other. Thank you!!!

OMG Hi Bestie!

So you sent this ask in like... 1.5 million years ago and this isn't EXACTLY it but... I think it fits the vibe. I hope. So here's Joel and Doc's first Valentine's Day together. I hope you like it!

Cupid

You and Joel spend Valentine's Day together. A Lavender one shot. Can be read as a stand alone with the understanding that Joel and Reader have an established relationship.

^We're gonna pretend that's Joel for this, OK? OK.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (From Lavender)

CW: Smut :) Just some fluffy, fun, p in v smut. They're in love and we love that for them. Pre-Outbreak. Age gap but not the focus of the fic (11 years, reader is 22 Joel is 33.) No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only.

Length: 3.8k

Wednesday, February 14, 2001

You’d never had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day before. 

The thought made you oddly nervous. Not that Joel had given you anything to be nervous about, of course, but you were. Valentine’s Day had always just been another day for you. Sometimes Nan got you one of the little boxes of chocolates but, otherwise, it had never been something you had a reason to celebrate. You were just so used to ignoring it that, until Saturday, you hadn’t even thought about Valentine’s Day. 

You’d been in bed with Joel. It was late and your bodies were pressed close together, his skin on yours, your nose nuzzled into his throat, your head still a bit fuzzy from the orgasms. 

“How do you feel about goin’ to dinner Wednesday?” He asked softly, his fingers trailing over your side, lips in your hair. 

You frowned against him. 

“Doesn’t Sarah have practice?” 

“Canceled,” he said. “Besides, I was gonna get Tommy to take her, anyway. He’s already taking her for the night so we can have some privacy.” 

You frown deepened and you felt him chuckle against you. 

“Did you forget?” He asked. 

“No,” you said defensively. “I just… didn’t know there was something to forget.” 

He laughed a little again. 

“It’s Valentine’s Day baby,” he said. “Fully intend on takin’ full advantage of any holiday that lets me romance you.” 

Joel seemed to mean it. By Wednesday night, you didn’t know the details of what he was planning - you didn’t get to see him on Tuesdays, Sarah had Girl Scouts across town and your classes ran too late to see him before her meeting - but he’d sent flowers to your apartment the day before your date, timed when you were home for lunch between classes with a card that said he loved you and told you to be ready to go at 5:30 Wednesday night. 

You weren’t sure if you were doing your part in this right at all. You’d spent a good chunk of Sunday shopping and cursing yourself for not remembering freaking Valentine’s Day. It’s not like there weren’t heart shaped boxes of candy sitting out every time you went to the grocery store, it should have occurred to you. It just hadn’t even registered that it would apply to you now. 

You at least had an idea of what you wanted to get him and weren’t going in completely blind. You’d been keeping an eye out at thrift stores for vintage shirts from his favorite bands, never exactly hunting for them but always checking the men’s section when you went in to find something for yourself. You also had a picture from a trip to a museum of you, Joel and Sarah had made that you’d been keeping to give him at some point, wanting to frame it for him. 

It took a few hours - and stops at four different thrift stores - but you eventually found a Fleetwood Mac shirt that you thought was from the 70s and was wearing thin in a few places but you were sure he’d like it. You found the perfect frame, too, the wood cracking at the sides but you had a plan for that. 

You fixed the frame, coloring the glue forest green so it was like vines were growing on a tree and put the picture of the three of you in it. It was off center, you’d been holding the camera away from yourselves and hoping that you were all in the frame. You were looking at Sarah, she was looking at you and Joel had his perfect, crooked smile that made his cheek dimple and his eyes shine. 

You made brownies that afternoon, covering them in pink glaze and red heart sprinkles before piling them on a plate and sneaking a bite of one before getting ready. You took a curling iron to your hair and did your makeup and painted your nails red before slipping into a dress you’d found when shopping for Joel’s shirt, black and form fitting and you tried to not feel like an imposter as you tied the red ribbon around the half ponytail at the back of your head. 

There was a knock at your door and you took a last look at yourself in your bedroom mirror, breathing deep and trying to calm your thudding heart before you answered it. 

“Jesus, baby,” Joel said, a look of almost awe on his handsome face as you opened the door. “Should warn a man before you show up lookin’ like that…” 

“Is it too much?” You asked, looking down at yourself. “I can change…” 

“Don’t you dare,” he said, looping an arm around your waist and pulling you against him. “You look fuckin’ amazing.” 

You put your arms around his neck and kissed him, smiling against his mouth, before stepping back from him. He’d dressed up, too, in black jeans with a white button down shirt that he’d tucked in and worn with a belt. He even had on a tan blazer, one that looked almost too small for his broad shoulders.

“You look so good!” You were practically giddy, hands going over your mouth to keep from sounding too excited. Joel laughed a little. 

“Don’t know if it warrants that much of a reaction. But figured I’d at least try to look like I belonged out with someone as pretty as you,” he teased and you rolled your eyes. “C’mon, we don’t leave now we are in very real danger of not making it out of the house, you are too damn tempting.” 

Joel led you to his truck - which was almost shockingly clean, water from the car wash still dripping from his bumper - and opened the door for you, offering you his hand as you climbed in. 

“So,” you smiled as he started driving. “Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see,” he smiled back. “Believe it or not, had something cookin’ for a minute.” 

His hand found the inside of your knee, the callus of his thumb stroking the skin there. You tried to figure out where you were going as he drove but you were still caught totally off guard when he parked in front of a French restaurant you’d been dying to try. 

“Are you kidding me?” You gasped. “Joel!” 

He laughed and took your hand, kissing your  knuckles. 

“Know you’ve been wanting to try it,” he said. “Turns out a guy on my crew’s sister works here so I could wrangle a reservation…” 

“This is amazing!” You were practically giddy, going to open your door, but Joel stopped you. 

“Gotta let me try to be a gentleman,” he kissed your hand again. “Sit tight.” 

He got out and jogged around the front of the truck, opening your door and offering you his hand. 

“Why thank you sir,” you said, trying to sound aloof and dignified. You didn’t think you pulled it off, too busy smiling to make it convincing. He pulled you in close and pressed a kiss to your temple before putting his hand on the small of your back and guiding you into the restaurant. 

They sat you at a table in a secluded corner, a white tablecloth and the low glow of a candle setting the scene. The host handed you a menu in a leather book with a gold tassel on the end and you waited for him to leave the table before you mouthed “oh my god” at Joel, who smiled and laughed quietly across the table. 

The menu had was full of French foods you’d only dreamed of trying at a restaurant: coq au vin, confit de canard, gigot d’agneau. There was even boeuf bourguignon. But the prices made your eyes go wide, your newly-painted nails digging into the leather of the menu. 

“Don’t think I can get that beef you make,” Joel said absently, looking at the menu. “Not gonna measure up to yours, don’t care how good the restaurant is…” 

“Joel,” you whispered over your menu. He looked up from his, brows raised. “We really don’t need to eat here…” 

He frowned. 

“Not seein’ something you want?” He asked. “We can go somewhere else, might be hard to get a table but…” 

“No!” You shook your head quickly. “No, the food looks great but…” 

You bit your lip and trailed off and he watched you, waiting for you to finish. 

“But?” He asked eventually. 

“But this place is…” you lowered your voice. “This is expensive. We really don’t have to eat here just because I’ve talked about it, we can go anywhere, we can just order a pizza if you want, I really don’t need all this, this is…” 

“Baby,” he cut you off, a crooked smile on his face. “Don’t worry about the price. Been wanting to take you here since this place opened, set aside some money for it. Get whatever you want.” 

“But…” 

He set the menu down and crossed his arms over the table, leaning over it toward you. 

“You gonna let me spoil my girl for Valentine’s Day or are you gonna give me trouble?” He asked. You frowned a little, thumb toying with the corner of the menu. Joel tilted his head until you met his gaze. “I mean it, baby. Really want to do this. Please let me?” 

“OK,” you said, still uncertain and looking at the menu again, looking for the least expensive entree.

“Swear to god you order the cheapest thing, we’re comin’ back next week,” Joel said as though he read your mind. “You’d better get what you actually want.” 

“You drive a hard bargain,” you said, trying your best to ignore the price column on the menu.

You settled on the duck and Joel got the steak frites and, once the numbers were out of your head, you were able to relax more, savoring the wine and running your heel-clad foot over the inside of Joel’s leg from across the table. 

“You would’ve been makin’ fun of me last night, Baby,” he smiled, taking a sip of his wine. “Remember how I told you Sarah didn’t know what she wanted to bring to school for Valentine’s Day?” 

“Yeah,” you frowned. 

“Well,” he laughed. “She decided yesterday she wanted cupcakes. So we stopped by the store on the way home from scouts, got the themed cake mix, all that. But she really wanted to try and do it herself so I started out just supervisin’… ended up running the cake mix through the pasta strainer to get all the egg shells out of it, that girl was in rare form…” 

“Oh no!” You laughed, loud enough that the table close to you shot you a glare and you tried not to laugh harder when you quieted down. “How’d they turn out?” 

“Alright I think,” he said. “They were kinda lopsided but tasted fine. We split one this morning.” 

“You send her off to school with a sugar high?” You teased. 

“Not from half a cupcake,” he waved you off. “The little box of candy I caved and let her have this morning did that.” 

You giggled. 

“I’m sure her teacher appreciated that.” 

“I’m just hopin’ with the sweets from school it carried through to when Tommy picked her up from school,” he smirked a little. “Think I owe ‘em for loading her up with candy after Halloween last year, as if she didn’t have enough already…” 

The food was incredible, so good you had to set your fork down to focus on the flavor of the first bite, Joel smiling almost proudly from across the table. By the time you were done, you were two glasses of wine deep - Joel ordering a second for you before you could stop him - and he was holding your calf under the table, hand sliding over the muscle to cup your ankle, thumb massaging the tendon there. 

“You’ve been playin’ a dangerous game over there, baby,” he said, voice low. 

“You’re hot,” you said, almost shyly. “Can’t help it.” 

“Thinkin’ I should get you home,” he said. “Get you outta that dress.” 

“I’m thinking you’re right,” you said, heat settling low around your hips. 

Joel’s mouth was on you before you even got your front door closed, your arms around his neck and his hands on your ass, holding you tight to the front of him. 

“I,” you kissed him. “Got,” another kiss. “You.” Kiss. “Something.” 

“Really?” 

Another kiss as you nodded. 

“Didn’t need to do that, baby…” 

“Too bad,” you smiled, kissing him long and hard before pulling back from him. “I like doing stuff for you, too, you know.” 

You took his hands and led him to your bedroom, sitting him on the bed before handing him the box with the shirt and frame inside. He opened it almost reverently, a little smile pulling up at the corners of his lips as he did. 

“It’s not as good as what you did,” you said, sitting next to him, twisting your fingers around on themselves as he lifted the lid of the box. 

“Oh, baby,” he said softly, picking up the frame, his thumb tracing the parts you’d repaired. “This is perfect… when was this?” 

“Remember when Sarah and I were on Christmas break and we went to the natural history museum the day before New Year’s Eve?” You said. 

“That was a good day,” he smiled down at the picture before setting it on your nightstand and he laughed as he got out the shirt. “Where the hell’d you find this?” 

“I’ve been keeping an eye out,” you smiled. “It’s well loved but I did wash it already…” 

He cut you off with a kiss before you could finish, dropping the box and the shirt to the floor as he pulled you against him, his lips insistent and needy on yours. He quickly shrugged out of his jacket as you fumbled with the buttons on his shirt and he unzipped your dress. You got each other undressed quickly, his mouth on yours as he lay you below him, his large hand cupping your pussy before he slipped two fingers between your swollen, slick lips, tracing over your entrance before sliding up to tease your clit as he settled between your thighs. 

“Fuck, you’re wet,” he panted against you, pushing his fingers into your tight channel, just up to the first knuckle. “This all for me, baby?” 

You nodded and tried to pull him closer, to bring his body fully against your own, but he stayed just far enough away that you could feel the warmth of his skin but not the softness of him itself. You groaned and he smiled as he trailed kisses over your jaw to your throat. 

“Seems like you might want somethin’,” he teased a little. You just nodded. “Should say what you want, baby, so I know what to give you.” 

“You,” your fingers scrambled over his back, desperate to find some kind of leverage. “Want you, please Joel…” 

He kissed you gently but you could feel the hunger behind it. He needed you, too, you could feel it in him. 

“OK baby,” he said softly, lining himself up at your entrance, the swell of his cock just close enough to start to part your walls without pushing in. “Give you what you want…” 

He kissed you as he pressed into you, a moment of resistance before the thickness of his shaft entered you. You whimpered at the stretch of him, arching into his touch, your pussy already starting to tighten and flutter around him. 

“Oh fuck,” he groaned. “You already close?” 

You just nodded as he pushed deeper, his cock opening you to him until he was fully inside you, his head pressed firmly against the part of you that made you press your hips up against him and your fingers dig into his skin. You felt yourself pulse around him once before going even tighter as he moaned, his head dropping to your shoulder. 

“Goddamn you feel good,” he panted. “Not gonna last once you come baby, tellin’ you that right now…” 

“S’OK,” you clumsily rocked your hips up against his, desperate for that last little bit of friction you needed to push yourself over the edge. “Just… I need…” 

“I got you,” he said, pressing somehow deeper and making you whimper below him. “Give you just what you need. Take such good care of you, baby, promise I will.” 

He started slow but hard, the steady drag of his cock as he pulled back from you followed by the firm, heavy thrust of him as he fucked back into you. You matched his rhythm, moving your body in time with his, his skin warm on your own, his brown eyes warm and soft and deep on yours. You clung to him as his pace increased, your body getting tighter around him, orgasm building until your head was fuzzy and all you could feel was the desperate heat of pleasure deep inside you. 

“Want you to come for me, baby,” Joel panted, one arm slipping below your arched back. He tilted your hips ever so slightly, the angle adjusted just enough that he could press deeper, his hips against your clit, all of him hitting you just right. You gasped at the change, your arms latching onto him tighter, your hips stuttering against him. “Oh fuck, there you go, just come for me, that’s it, c’mon, just give in to it baby, just…” 

You cried out as you came, Joel holding you close and tight, his movements never slowing as he chased his own orgasm inside you, thrusting hard and deep until he pressed against the back wall of you as you throbbed over him, coming undone with a shaky groan. You felt him pulse inside of you, emptying himself deep until he went limp on top of you. He adjusted quickly as you caught your breath, rolling onto his back and taking you with him so you ended up sprawled on top of him, your nose nuzzled against his neck as he held you, his large palm gently tracing over your back. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you hummed happily, whole body feeling soft and hazy as you just focused on his skin against yours. 

“You’re too good to me,” you sighed as you snuggled into him. You could feel him frown. 

“Why’d you say that?” 

“Because you are,” you kissed his neck. “You did way too much for me today, I can’t measure up.” 

“Hey,” he said quietly, pulling back from you just enough that he could look into your eyes. “Don’t say that, that ain’t true…” 

“Yes it is,” you said, running your fingers through his curls. “I loved it, I loved it so, so much. But it’s too much, I can’t do the same in return, I don’t deserve…” 

“Yes you do,” he cut you off, giving you a little squeeze. “Baby, you do so much for me just by existing near me, you realize that?” You looked at him skeptically but he didn’t give you a chance to argue. “I mean it. My life is so much better because of you. Never thought I could love someone the way I love you, you made me understand this kind of thing existed at all. You make me laugh more than anyone else I’ve ever met and you are so damn sweet. Plus you’re so smart, I could just sit and watch how your mind works all damn day and never get bored and the fact that you’d just let me… Not to mention how you take care of me and Sarah. Never thought I’d find a woman who could love my little girl like you do. You’ve given me everything and you do it every damn day. I just wanted to try and give you some of that back.” 

“Joel,” you said softly, tears burning at the corners of your eyes. 

“Never had a ton goin’ for me,” he said, smiling a little. “Always kinda figured I’d fucked my life up at some point but… I wouldn’t have Sarah or you without everything I did leading up to it. Makes me feel like I did something right to get the two of you in the end, you know?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded, kissing him softly. “I know.” 

He smiled his gentle, crooked smile at you and you just looked into his chocolate brown eyes for a moment before you sat up quickly, remembering. 

“I made you brownies!” You almost jumped out of bed and Joel laughed, catching your wrist as you untangled yourself from the sheets. 

“Wasn’t done with you yet,” he tugged you closer, kissing up the inside of your arm. 

“I’ll be right back,” you said. “Promise.” 

You went to the kitchen and put two of the brownies onto a small plate and got a large glass of water before going back to your bedroom, Joel sitting with his back propped against your headboard. You handed him the water before you climbed in bed with him, holding the plate out to him. He laughed a little. 

“These look amazing,” he said, picking up a brownie and taking a huge bite, groaning a little in pleasure as he did. “Taste amazing too,” he said, his mouth full. “You’d have been ashamed of those cupcakes…” 

“Next time Sarah has a baking project, just call me,” you said, taking a bite of your own brownie. “I take sex in payment for culinary lessons for the right client. Namely you.” 

He smiled, tugging you against him. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

You snuggled in closer. 

“Think we should make these brownies a holiday tradition,” Joel said, finishing his and kissing your temple. “These are damn good.” 

“Plenty more where that came from, Miller,” you teased a little, sucking some of the pink frosting off your thumb. “You know, this was my first real Valentine’s Day.” 

“Yeah?” Joel asked, looking down at you as best he could as you stayed tucked against his side. “I do OK?” 

“You did amazing,” you smiled. “Ruined me for all other men.” 

“Good,” he said, settling back against the headboard. “Gonna need all other men to keep their hands off you, anyway.” 

You smiled a little at that, the idea of being his and he being yours. He nuzzled down into your hair, his lips pressing against the crown of your head. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby,” he said quietly. “First of many.” 

Your smile grew. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”  

[jadejasiones]

Keyframes Spring 01: CG Guide

For spring of the first year there is 8 CGs, with 2 CGs having variations which total up to bout 11 CGs that you can collect for this season (v1.11). All the CGs will be below the cut!

We'll go from up to down, left to right

1. Deja and Cam celebrating

When you're going against one of the boys during the scavenger hunt, you'll be prompted with 3 rounds Quick Time Events (QTE), the first two rounds honestly don't matter and is just fun dialogue of who is currently in the lead. The real deciding factor is the last round where you must succeed at least 3 keys

2. Percy, Elio, and Jamie celebrating

As long as you score less than 3 on round 3 of the QTE when you're up against the boys, whomever you're up against will get ya and they'll win

3. Percy and Elio studying

During the Studying Session event (you can check my other guide on how to get a specific event), choose "I'll actually tag along." when Elio asks if you want anything

The variations come from what you choose to do when yall detour, the options being the polo club, horticulture club and the coop, with each option getting you a variation of the CG -> - Why were there horses on the Green? - Those plants… were they having a sale? - The coop sounded… intriguing, to say the least.

4. Burger !

During the Late Night event, you'll automatically get this CG and it's unmissable!

5. Percy, Elio, and Jamie goofing in the rain

During the Rainy Day event, which you have to play as the first event, you're gonna have to reject Percy's invitation to go good off in the rain and not invite them up for soup </3. The reason why it has to be the first event chosen is because if its any subsequent event, Cam or even you are closer to the boys so you'll automatically invite them up for soup. It's okay, at least you get to have quality bestie time with Cam and Deja if you don't invite them up -> - Going out into the rain? No thanks. -- Whatever they were up to down there, you’d leave them to it.

6. Cam, Deja and Jamie studying

During the Studying Session event, choose "Can I text you if I think of anything?" when Elio asks if you want anything

The variations come from what you choose to do what yall choose to do in town either going to get ice cream or see Nena -> - Ice cream sounds really good right now… - Let’s go see if Nena’s at the thrift store?

7. Reynah taking a photo

During the Errands event, its another unmissable CG!

8. Cam posing like a cutie!

During the Spring Festival event, you have to choose to split up when prompted what the group should do, from there choose to hang out with whomever you want to but after choose to take a break with Cam - There was no harm in splitting up. You’d catch up with whoever you found along the way. -- (just choose any you wanna do!) --- You needed a break— to the benches with you.

hopefully this helps yall get all the CGs and their variations! especially since a few are hidden behind specific choices in the events

[jihyoruri]

okay okay for cib!yn, what are the little losers getting her this year? and since she’s shared more christmases with chaewon, what like the most meaningful thing she’s gotten her gf? ⁉️ (oh god….. what if they get put under a mistletoe…)

also to my gidle!yn, omg this is their first christmas together akfkamfmsmfmaammd how excited are they are they scared? are they going to eachothers family houses to celebrate?! ⁉️⁉️

LAST ONE I SWEAR what is that little firecracker!yn getting for her co workers jsjdjajda, please tell me she’s giving skr something cute 😩

OKAYYY so yunjin is definitely getting cib!yn the pink uggs with the bow on the back (because that’s just so cib!yn), a dior bracelet that had yn’s favourite taylor lyric engraved in it and I also feel like she’d go on a thrift pink hunt of things from the 2000s for yn and she’d just go crazy and buy everything on the shelf (and yn would probably give her the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek) now for chaewon this year she’s gonna get yn a luxury pink necklace that says barbie on it (custom made) she’s also giving yn a pink vintage chanel tweed bag (don’t ask how she got her hands on it but she did) (these gifts will also get chaewon the biggest kiss on the cheeks ever) also the most meaningful thing yn has gotten chaewon was probably the their matching necklaces that have their initials on it (yn’s rose gold and chaewon’s silver and they literally never take it off yn got it for her the year that iz*one was disbanding)

now for gidle!yn IT IS THEIR FIRST CHRISTMAS and it’s definitely gonna be hectic but I feel like they would plan their activities a couple days before christmas like the like a week before christmas week they’d go ti japan and then after that the 22nd they celebrate with gidle, the 23rd they celebrate with sserafim, the 24th they celebrate with yn’s family (which had sakura lowkey shaking because both irene and their dad are looking at her sideways (the rv girlies also celebrate with them at yn and Irene’s house) and on the 25th they stay at the apartment and celebrate together.

now for firecracker!yn shes the type to act like she’s not getting anyone anything but ends up getting everyone the best gifts, she’d get sakura and bunch of new gaming stuff, she’d get yunjin a limited edition taylor vinyl, she’d get chaewon a bunch of simpsons stuff and also an expensive necklace, she’d get kazuha a collectable ballerina music box that vintage all the way from like the 70s and finally she’d get eunchae every iz*one album and merch to exist (since chaewon and sakura never enable her obsession with their past group) she’d also get her matching bracelets that solidify their friendship (eunchae finally got her to be her best friend yn just doesn’t like to admit it)

[cazzyf1]

Cazzy F1 Edits Masterlist

Now and then, I miss you - Tribute to the f1 drivers who have passed away

Under Pressure - Tribute to Classic F1

Kiss me - Classic F1 Kisses

Hot to go! - Classic F1

I predict a riot - 1982 drivers strike

I know some day I'm gonna meet her - Classic f1 women

Like a Prayer - Classic F1

French Threesome - La Seine and I

Mike Hawthorn - Lover

Mike Hawthorn - Stupid Cupid

Mike Hawthorn - This is me trying

Mike Hawthorn - Go, Go, Go

Mike Hawthorn - Suit and tie

Mike Hawthorn - Coquette edit

Mike Hawthorn - Head over heels

Mike Hawthorn - Can't set rules about love

Mike Hawthorn - I know it's the end

Peter Collins - One for the money, two for the show

Peter Collins - I've got my eye on you

Peter Collins - Come back to me, please

Peter Collins - Oh no, I'm falling in love

Peter Collins - And I loved him, I loved him, I loved him

Peter Collins - Young & Beautiful

Peter Collins - Dark Paradise

Peter Collins/Louise Collins - Some enchanted evening

Mike Hawthorn/Peter Collins - he just sat there, saying nothing

Mike Hawthorn/Peter Collins - When you said your last goodbye

Mike Hawthorn/ Peter Collins - I don't want to say goodbye because this one means forever

Mike Hawthorn/Peter Collins - Mon Ami Mate

Mike Hawthorn/Peter Collins - White Ferrari

Mike Hawthorn/Peter Collins - Park that car

Stirling Moss edit - Forever Young

Masten Gregory - American Boy

Wolfgang von Trips - In love with a German race star

Wolfgang von Trips - Major Tom

Wolfgang von Trips - Major Tom (re-edit)

Wolfgang von Trips - Meet me in the woods tonight

Wolfgang von Trips - Prophecy

Wolfgang von Trips - The Archer

Wolfgang von Trips - Until I make you mine

Wolfgang von Trips - Pink Pony Club

Graham Hill - Daydream

Graham Hill - Hoizer edit

Graham Hill - They're gonna put me in the movies

Graham Hill - Enjoy the silence

Graham Hill - Daddy Issues

Graham Hill - Brat

Damon Hill/Graham Hill - Putting on the ritz

Jim Clark - Butter Pie

Jim Clark - All my loving

Jim Clark - My Dreams

Jim Clark - Harpy Hare

Jochen Rindt - Wicked Game

Jochen Rindt - Careless Whisper

Piers Courage - About You

Piers Courage - Mr Forgettable

Jo Siffert - Sunsetz

François Cevert - Heal

Jackie Stewart/François Cevert/Didier Pironi - A glimpse of us

Jackie Stewart - Hoizer edit

Jackie Stewart - Faster

Ignazio Giunti - Coquette edit

Ronnie Peterson - I bet on loosing dogs

Barbro Peterson - Big Thief

James Hunt - Wham

James Hunt - There she goes

James Hunt - Let me hear you scream

James Hunt - Oops I did it again

James Hunt - Thrift Shop

Niki Lauda tribute - Fast Car

Niki Lauda - Niki is an alien

Niki Lauda - Top Kids edit

Niki Lauda - Funny Funny

Niki Lauda - Oh Niki you're so fine

Niki Lauda - Bon Appetite

Niki Lauda/James Hunt - He has been outstanding

Clay Regazzoni - Gypsies, Tramps & Theives

Roger Williamson - I won't see you again

Helmut Konigg - Brooklyn Baby

Jochen Mass - Sex, Dr!gs, etc

Jochen Mass - Soaked

Jody Scheckter - Expresso

Lella Lombardi - Good luck, babe!

Tom Pryce - White Winter Hymmal

Alain Prost - Coquette edit

Alain Prost - Simple edit

Didier Pironi - Waltz

Didier Pironi - something in the orange tells me we're not done

Didier Pironi - Redrum

Elio de Angelis - You're the greatest thing we've lost

[britcision]

So this week in “the universe makes a concerted effort to give me more panic attacks”:

- my sewing machine has broken for the second time this month. Last time it fixed itself. This time it will not. Tried replacing the plug in just in case it wasn’t the whole machine - no good

- went hunting for mother’s sewing machine, which needs an extra huge transformer to be plugged in in this country without burning down the house

- found mother’s machine. No transformer. Pooled the family brain trust. The transformer may have been thrown out (mother’s machine also despises me and was why I never picked up sewing again for a decade)

- partner’s mother’s sewing machine is 3 hours drive away each way, and they do not currently have anywhere we can stay over while retrieving it (this machine also HATES me and will not sew for more than 2 inches without jumping)

- we have at least 3 costumes to finish by mid May, all of which are at least 6 different garments - and another 2 by mid June

- my disabled ass has finished two costumes in May before, both much smaller and I nearly died

- just found out I need to entirely redo the lining on one of them from scratch because one of my panels was too small but I trimmed the goddamn seams early to try and french seam the fraying fuck

- for some ungodly reason the embroidery thread I was using to try and make a lil doll face is bleeding black dye across the fabric that will not wash out

- just found out I’m not getting anymore billable hours at work, possibly until mid April

- my insurance company has now decided to stop covering half my meds up front, correctly deducing that it’s gonna be way harder for me to submit receipts for reimbursement because their online portal is a hellscape. Unrelated to sewing crisis, just not helping

Fortunately I do not stand alone against said universe and between us partner and I were able to sneak in on a huge sale today and afford an actual new sewing machine, which can be repaired by the shop we bought it from if it also dies

(If we’d waited another 2 days no chance we could not have afforded it, woulda had to get a dinky baby machine and hope it was as powered by dark gods as the last one or go thrifting

One friend who went to sewing school has told me multiple times my previous machine should not exist (sewed 8 layers of insulated padding on tension setting 2) - the model is completely discontinued and I couldn’t even find refurbished

Another friend has now acquired 3 thrift/given machines, none of which actually work and are all missing parts

This was somehow literally the best week this could have happened if it had to happen at all)

So yeah hyperventilating still happened but I am learning new tricks to stop that and didn’t get a full blown panic attack, we remain triumphant

And we made pancake cookies

[hyperfixatinglove]

for the summer asks, 🔥,👗, and 🍨?💚💜

🔥 - what do you guys do to beat the heat?

Eden is gremlin who loves the heat, anything below major heat wave and they're freezing so Eden is actually just vibing with chips & juice so they avoid heatstroke from being outside all day.

Jacob is more susceptible to heat since he wears dark colors all day everyday, but he loves cold water on hot day so goes showering or swimming if he feels bad. Eden is trying their best to get him to eat properly & have sugar and salt on hot days so he doesn't pass out.

It takes a while but eventually Jacob remembers and is the one to jokingly push Eden to take care of themselves.

👗 - how do you dress for the hot weather?

Eden dresses either shorts + crop top combo or dress. Jacob loves jeans & shirt, unless it's really hot, then he wears shorts & crop top but he still opts for dark colors while Eden favors lighter colors like pastels & white.

Jacob in jean shorts tho..

Easily the best outfit, iconic never seen before, you know what he's all about right here

Of course he keeps his cap but Eden gets worried he's gonna get sun & heat stroke all in one so he has to swear to drink something else than beer & water. Eden too keeps a cap but it's bright bright pink with barbie logo.

Expect some basics & muted color palette, Jacob is literally walking sports logo billboard. Eden drags Jacob to thrifting as a date even when it's hot outside, so he at least gets more items that don't have logo.

He insists to keep small accessories for aesthetic even during heat wave, I HC Jacob can't stand having his wrists bare so he has wristwatches, stolen scrunchies, bracelets.. Anything really.

You wouldn't caught Jacob dead wearing anything but sneakers during summer, same for Eden. They actually wear quite similar clothing styles, just colors & what shirts depict change.

Jacob would have love-hate with one particular summer shirt Eden owns, it's on line with their normal attire, but it has Ghostface on with cheesiest saying & it's bright pink. Jacob hates horror, so any mention of it gets his skin crawling. He loves the shirt due to how big it is & makes Eden look so so cute but he hates it due to horror reference.

🍨 - what kind of summer dates do you guys go on? do you have a favorite?

Omg summer dates post-Hackett's Quarry. Cliche kind, the best.

Beach dates, Eden & Jacob love swimming. Jacob has difficulty diving in when it's deep water, due to seeing the corpse in the lake in Hackett's Quarry, but Eden is okay with shallow water. As long as he doesn't dive he's fine so they both love swim dates. It often leads them to just talking on the sand or Eden reading book while Jacob vibes to music. Peaceful & nice.

Ice cream dates, Jacob loves to take Eden on little stroll to get ice cream, he tries everything that is even mildly new or combo or weird mix. Eden jokes how he won't get kisses if he eats the ice creams he takes but Jacob just kisses their cheek and smiles. Eden is more traditional in flavors, chocolate & caramel ice creams are biggest treats, but vanilla goes too. They're the sweet couple you see holding hands, eating ice cream & giggling outside.

Summer is time thrifting, at least Eden thinks so. Jacob isn't completely on board, but seeing his sugarplum smile is enough. Jacob doesn't have patience to hunt for treasures but he's the driver & emotional support.

Jacob introduced Eden to rollerskating, so rollerskate dates are a thing with them. Eden is wobbly and often tends to fall but Jacob is there catch them. The long gaze after literally falling into their embrace ugh.

Of course being sports fan and athlete Jacob loves sport event dates. He makes sure they're seated in far back so Eden has quick escape from all hustle and bustle. The only sport he doesn't like are racing cars & ice hockey, so all other events are fair game.

Music festival dates! In public with their friends, Jacob doesn't share his music taste with Eden, who likes more pop but away from them on festival, he gets on mood too by listening pop music. He's secret lover of pop. Publicly I think Jacob listens to hip hop and lo-fi.

But as best dates go, both prefer just to hang out together, maybe have music on background and just be, together. Laying on bed, smiling stupidly & thinking how lucky they each got.

@princess-hope-selfships

[stobinesque]

ohhhh this title piqued my interest: first light on the horizon (at the end of the world) <333

haha, this is my Rockie first date fic for the Summer Challenge! I also answered an ask about it here, but I've had Vickie rotating in my head all day so you get more words!

I'm not gonna reveal what Robin and Vickie do for their actual first date, but I did have a stroke of inspiration earlier that as either a friend outing or a second or third date I want Vickie to drag Robin on a thrifting trip, during which Vickie tries on a bunch of vintage sundresses and Robin loses her little gay mind about it. (Also Robin holds Vickie's purse, like a gentleman). Robin may or may not also end up trying on vintage (like '40s era, maybe?) menswear. Possibly I will give Robin an ascot? Or a pocket watch? Apparently I'm launching a dapper!Robin agenda for this fic. I decided this two minutes ago. [I'm not sure whether or not that scene will make it into this specific fic itself, but if not it will be written as part of an eventual sequel.]

Also, since Vickie is inevitably going to end up getting dragged into the Upside-Down-turned-Rightside-Up shenanigans I decided that means she needed a weapon and/or specialty. I like the idea that, like Jonathan, Vickie also learned how to hunt as a kid--but unlike Jonathan, she actually likes it. Which could have meant that I could make her a gun-wielder like Nancy (and don't get me wrong, she does know how to use one), but I have decided to be self-indulgent and make her a crossbow-wielding sharpshooter. She's also a proficient trapper. How much will this come up in the fic itself? No idea, but crossbow-wielding Vickie is real to me now and I figure she deserves to be shared with the world.

Also this ask inspired me to actually finish the Vickie playlist I started the other day (the goal of which is to establish a music vibe for her; it is not necessarily thematically coherent in any way), so behold! [also tagging @xenon-demon who sent the original first light ask :) ]

[bearphase]

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore 💜💜💜

Okay, I've gotten this a couple times but always end up procrastinating until it's so old I might as well not answer (sorry about that, I promise I love getting asks/tags like this!) Actually gonna answer this time! We're going with Clem, my beloved mad sorceress/criminal/hobbyist baker.

For her, "evil" as a trait is less "actively wants to harm others" and is more "self-serving and will absolutely ruin your day to get what she wants." And, being Self-Assured, she's significantly overconfident, which you're absolutely going to see come into play here shortly.

She's BFFs with her little brother. He's one of her favorite people in the world and she'd commit murder to protect him, despite the Good/Evil divide; Rhys just sees Clem as intense and a little misguided, and Clem sees Rhys as naive and needing protection. (Sure, this causes some arguments, but they still love each other.)

Thrifts pretty much all of her furniture and clothes. Not just out of a sense of frugality; she enjoys the hunt.

Has never changed her haircut since she was a literal toddler.

Her playlist so far:

[multiverseofimagines]

Hi Gwen! Can I have a Stranger things ship?

First of all, I'm sorry for any grammar errors, bc English isn't even my second language 🤣

I always was "that one weirdo"

I identify myself as pan/demisexual and agender.

INTP, but I'm far from the stereotype. I'm nerd without social life for sure, but that's all.

I'm history student and artist. I can't paint too often, because I have no free time bc of the uni, but I love when my hands smell with oil paint, and how blank canvas slowly turning into something beautiful. I love thrift hunt. Most of the things in my place are really old, and probably hunted. It's difficult to find a free space in my room, because it's all occupied by plants, books, pet's supplies, and tonnes of vintage stuff. I would describe my style as mostly whimsygothic.

I'm 167cm tall, skinny, with long spaghetti limbs. I'm pale as frozen chicken, with many moles. I have messy dark auburn hair and big amber protruding eyes. One of the most noticeable things on my face, it's a big greek nose with small round glasses on it.

I mostly listen rock in different subgenres. I also love folk music.

My favourite movies are Orlando (1992) and The Wicker man (1973)

That's probably all

Thank you, and have a nice day ~~~

Of course! Here you go lovely ~

I ship you with…

Tell me you guys aren’t soulmates I DARE YOU.

Similar vibes all across the board, both intp’s, both of you are a little androgynous + queer and you both are very introverted people.

Thrifting dates 😭 going into the city and going to all the consignment stores and hunting for cool vintage stuff.

PAINTING HER !! Always painting her or things for her that she likes. She’s your muse. You don’t show her cause you’re terrified she will hate them but one day you leave your multimedia sketchbook on the table to go to the washroom and she’s nosy as fuck obviously and opens it to see herself in different variants of smudged oil.

Y’all fighting vecna together !! Literally would be so badass I can’t. You guys both nod at one another before the battle, both scared to lose one another but determined.

Coming out to each-other before you started dating. I feel like you would come out first, you would be so anxious and literally shaking at the thought of telling her and she just goes “ no way ! “ and at first you feel defeated like she is just gonna make fun of it, and your kind of like “ yeah- I knew you wouldn’t get it.” And she just goes “ wait what??? no- that’s not what I meant at all.” You sigh still a bit disappointed, but she looks at you with a much more serious look, and says “ have you seen me y/n?? Is it not obvious that I’m like- super gay?”

Heres a little moodboard, some pics that give me robin vibes and the outfits I can imagine you wearing based off your aesthetic. I did accidentally pick mostly fem options, I’m so sorry, I know you described yourself as agender, so hopefully this still suffices, I’m so sorry! And I picked the middle outfit in case your into a more “goth” whimsigoth. 💖 enjoy xo gwen

[mortifyingordealof]

Ask Game To Get To Know You

I was tagged by @annebonnydyke mwuah!

What book are you currently reading?

I just finished the Binti series, it was super interesting and all three books are nice and short which is perfect for me bc I listen at work

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

I don't go to theaters a lot so the last movie I actually Went to see was Nope.

What do you usually wear?

Stuff I found from the men's section of the thrift store that looks like it was from an old man's closet <3

How tall are you?

5'10" I'm a big dyke

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

pisces! fish :). i dont think theres anything special about my actual birth Day

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

my legal name gets nicknamed but my chosen names usually get nicholasnamed (elongated in a silly affectionate way).

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

yes! i'm a marine biologist (there Are many benefits)

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

im in a very healthy and stable romantic situationship with my ex <3

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

very good at math! very bad at media analysis (< what no humanities education since age 13 does to a mf. I'm working on it)

Dogs or cats?

Cats <3333. i used to work at a kennel and dogs are So needy.

What’s something you would like to create stuff for?

idk if this is particularly what this question is asking but i have like a 40k hannibal fic burning a hole in my wip folder that i just haven't had the brainspace to work on in ages

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

i dont have a favorite line but i wrote a goncharov fic that i was SO fucking proud of i actually orphaned the fic so i could send it to my irl friends (without giving out my ao3 handle bc... absolutely not)

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

i have played disco elysium like 3 times top to bottom in the past week

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

hm. i moved into a new place site unseen and it's. not amazing. probably need to move again soon. but at least now I'm in the right state and i can actually go See apartments instead of remote apartment hunting.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

im SO good at jaywalking. like, i can do the visual calculus of scanning an intersection and gauging when the light is gonna change and which cars have their blinkers on SO quick and make the choice of how and when exactly to go which direction. mundane superpower.

Are you religious?  

nope! i feel spirituality 1. when i am in the ocean, 2. when i am eating mushrooms, 3. when someone i love bakes me bread. and when i take the bus.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

ive been craving ethiopian food literally since the last time i had ethiopian food but i moved to a boring ass suburb where it simply does not exist. crying emoji.

tagging @gayiconjamesflint @scopophil @myownprivatebucky @deathishauntedbyhumans @ghostofanacho

[chaos-deimos-et-eris]

the problem is you cant find anything thats pure 100% a fiber anymore.

found a cotton cami the other day that was only 60% cotton and had a completely synthetic bra sewn into it. excitedly found merino hiking socks the other but the fiber content breakdown revealed they were only 11 percent wool and 8 percent cotton and the rest was synthetic. a wool coat the other day revealed itself to be only 4 percent wool with a completely synthetic lining. it was from a fancy expensive luxury brand.

of course u can find 100 percent natural fibers but u have to look for it, hunt them down, and read the labels. if u dont, ure gonna get duped.

and u used to be able to find the fabric at least at your local fabric shop but u cant anymore. literally. there is no wool no silk no linen no leather no cotton. you cant even find 100% cotton anymore. u go online for that. you go the specialty stores. im not saying u cant find things if you dont look. but gods do you have to look. and it is exhausting to always have to look.

its not the most terrible situation. i have clothes. i have no allergies to synthetic fibers. and while all synthetic clothes eventually make me want to claw my skin off because you eventually hit one wash cycle too many and now you can f e e l the roughness of the plastic to the point my friends can tell what im wearing based on the angry red scratches i leave on my throat and wrists, i can usually keep myself distracted long enough to go home and be able to change. but you can find things just be prepared to pay. in time, at the thrift stores feeling for fiber between your fingers or at the shop reading tags or in money for that expensively exclusive only one natural fiber plain white shirt, or roll of fabric, or spool of thread, or ball of yarn. and even then you have to be your research,, superwash wool can only be put in the washing machine because it is covered by a thin layer of plastic and then its still labeled as 100% superwash wool.

this is not just inventing a problem. yes you can buy slips, but they are all polyester and they are all the same shape so hope you dont like to take long stides when walking under the summer sun. yes you can buy camis but good long finding one without the elastic bra sewn in much less one thats truly 100% cotton. and sure you can make dress guards but good luck finding a netting that isnt nylon, good luck finding a flannel that isnt just plastic and will make you sweat more. good luck to the people that have enough to not be in survival mode and now want to do the rich man thing of buying good clothes and taking good care of them so they last. good luck finding those good clothes, and good luck finding a way to care for them

"hey why are all the barrier garments like linen shirts or chemises or combinations going away?"

"oh we have more washable fabrics now! you don't need to worry about sweat reaching your outer clothing when you can just chuck it in the washing machine!"

"cool!"

[100 years later]

"so uh all of those new washable fabrics are leaching microplastics into our water, and the constant machine-washing wears garments out faster. they're also not really sturdy enough to be mended, so we keep having to throw them out and now the planet is covered in plastic fabric waste that will never break down. also it turns out that the new washable fabrics hold odor-causing bacteria VERY well. so could we get those barrier garments back please?"

"sorry babe linen now costs $100000/yard and since it's been so long without them, nobody knows how to adapt barrier garments to the current styles anyway"

"..."

"maybe try this new $50 undershirt made of Special Sweat-Wicking Plastic Fabric! :) :) :)"

[stellylee]

MERROCK TASK #17 SPRING FORWARD

first things first: do you like spring? Spring's cool, I like the freshness that comes with it, and just that whole "fresh start" feeling everyone grabs on to.

what is your favorite thing about spring? Everything comes to life again, which is refreshing. And fun to photograph.

what is your least favorite thing about spring? Allergies and all of the pastel colors.

do you have a vegetable / produce / fruit garden? There's not a lot of green space around the house, but there are a few garden plots that I normally try to grow some things in.

how about flower beds, or things planted in the house? There's a few plant-y things happening out front, and around the house, yeah. Then I have those little cute pots in the kitchen windowsill to grow herbs!

regardless of what you do or do not plant, are you good at growing plants? have a green thumb? Not too bad. Probably not gonna quit my day or night job to become a gardener or anything, but I can grow a nice tomato.

what's your favorite flower or plant? 'Midnight ruffles' hellebores. The name, the color, the gorgeousness.

what's your favorite scent that you associate with spring? I feel like it's pretty cliche to say flowers, but also yeah? There's that weird earthy smell, too. I call it worm smell, since you always see the worms coming out this time of year.

is there a sound that you associate with spring time? Kids laughing in the streets, since it means they're staying out later.

do you prefer sunny mornings or rainy afternoons? Rainy afternoons, for sure.

favorite thing to do on a sunny, warm spring day? Get out and take some photos.

favorite thing to do on a rainy, chilly spring day? Also get out and take some photos. And then probably invite Mandy over to watch spooky movies.

do you celebrate Easter? any traditions you follow for it? My mom's one of those church-going types, so I grew up going to service on Easter morning, and doing whatever Easter egg hunts I could find (I always wanted the big prize), but now I just go to the house for dinner and color eggs for fun.

regardless of if you do or don't: favorite Easter candy? I love all the Easter candy, how would you ever even decide?! I used to love getting those cheap little eggs, though. Just the solid chocolate ones. They didn't even taste that good, but man, you could eat through them so fast.

what other springtime holidays do you observe? Mardi Gras, if that happens during the spring months. I'm a bartender, so I'm always involved in St. Patrick's Day stuff (blessed be me when I get the night off, though).

favorite place in Merrock to visit in the springtime? Any of the green spaces, or maybe the botanical garden.

the spring bugs are coming out: do you rescue them and let them out of the house, or grab the nearest shoe? Oh, I rescue them. I'm pretty sure that Sylvia and Vera would yell for me if there was a spider, and I'd save my damsels without hesitation.

are you a big spring cleaner? A little bit, but nothing drastic.

do you switch over your wardrobe from cold weather to warm weather clothes? No, I wear black all year long.

how about the house: does your decor change for the spring season? do you rearrange furniture? I think our house is ever changing; we're constantly picking things up at thrift stores and yard sales. Sometimes furniture, sometimes decor, sometimes an old lady's really cool collection of earrings, too.

what color makes you think 'spring'? All the pastels, unfortunately.

describe your perfect spring outfit: Jeans and a t-shirt, sneakers... maybe a light hoodie? I might even trade in the black t-shirt for one that's like, purple or blue or something.

most adorable looking baby animal that you ever did see? Puppies.

what's a drink that makes you think of spring? We start promoting floral cocktails this season, like things with lavender in them. So anything like that.

how about a snack? Deviled eggs. Bonus points if they're from dyed eggs and look bizarre.

[cafalla]

Diary Entry - 01/05/2024

It's the new year! Hooray!

A positive: I am also almost finished with my book I mentioned in my resolutions post, so I'm going to have to go on the hunt for a new one soon!

Not gonna lie though, I've mostly just been playing my solo Baldur's Gate 3 playthrough or League of Legends when I'm not at work. The feeling of being a bit "stuck" in my free time has been sinking in.

I've been thinking about making YouTube videos. Nothing crazy, just thrift hauls, show & tells, unboxings, or maybe light vlogging of adventures that I'd like to document. Writing is fun, but sometimes a video just seems easier and better suited for what I'd like to document.

I know this goes against one of my resolutions, but I did frivolously buy a tripod/phone holder so I can attempt to film videos...oops.

Well, maybe it's not frivolous since I have another plan for it too - I've been thinking of dabbling more in reselling this year.

I have always been an on-again-off-again seller on eBay and Mercari, but I've never been a reseller in a typical sense. I an "average" user - I occasionally sell things that I no longer want, and buy things I do want. My main goal was never to make profit, just try to make some money back on stuff I no longer needed. My listings were never bountiful or professional looking, always casual.

I've never actually purchased items with the sole purpose of reselling...until recently. I blame the Goodwill Outlet. I've found tons of very cool stuff and things where I just...couldn't leave them behind. I personally think they're super cool finds, but I don't necessarily want the item. Hence, reselling.

I have no intention to make it more than a small "side gig", so to speak. Even then, I'm viewing it more as a hobby than anything. I already love to thrift, so I may as well get a little extra money here and there while doing so.

I am interested in how viable of a "side gig" it could be. The thought of drafting an Excel sheet to track everything sounds...kinda fun?

Oh god, I'm getting old. Never thought I'd see the day where I'd actually be excited to create a spreadsheet.

But yeah! It's a tentative thought, though I have made moves toward it. Same with the video thing.

As silly as it sounds, the thought of doing these things makes me hopeful and excited. I've wanted an endeavor to focus on that is actually lucrative in some way, even if only a little bit.

Guess I'll check in about this in a few weeks! x

[deadendsave]

Mitchell Nguyen’s Journal (2)

1: When I first arrived at the bar, Todd interrogated me thoroughly. I don’t blame him though, he didn’t know what my motives were. Linda helped me clean my eye and stitched it up for me. That shit hurt. She gave me some new clothes to wear and offered me food, I was slightly paranoid that they were gonna poison me, but I was so hungry that I didn’t really care. Eating with a shotgun pointed at you is definitely a unique experience. Todd’s harsh.

2: Linda is a lot less abrasive when she started asking me questions. I just told her that my family was gone and I had been on my own for a while. I also explained what happened to my face, leaving out a few details. She said I could stay as long as I needed, but Todd wasn’t very happy about it. After she gave him this look, he finally agreed. “Fine. You can sleep on the couch, but you’re gonna have to help out around here. This isn’t a damn bed & breakfast.”

3: The front door suddenly opened, I didn’t know who to expect. I thought thought Todd and Linda were the only ones around. As I turned around, I saw her. Holy shit, she was beautiful. She looked me up and down and asked “Who are you?” I tried to play it cool but I sounded like a loser. “Uhh… Hi. I’m Mitch.” / “What happened to your face, Mitch?” / I explained what happened, but she barely said anything.

4: Linda told me that she was sweet, but she just needed to warm up to me. It was true, but damn, it took her a while. The first few weeks that I was staying at the bar, she didn’t like me at all. I tried to show her I wasn’t a threat. I’d ask her if she wanted to hang out, but she always told me no. Eventually, she let me go to her apartment, which was filled with old books and ocean-themed things.

5: Even though she wasn't very friendly at first, I still liked her. I figured she had probably been through a lot of shit too. Once she started being cool with me, it didn’t take a lot for me to start having feelings for her. She was just so intriguing. I wanted to know everything about her. I really knew I was in deep the night I went to her apartment because I couldn’t sleep.

6: She let me in and said she couldn’t sleep either. We sat out on the balcony, I asked her about all her ocean decor. Her face lit up. Seeing her talk about something she loved so much was amusing. She got embarrassed for talking so much and tried to apologize, but I told her I wanted to hear it all.

7: The next day, I went hunting with Todd and he ended up showing me around the town. We came across an old thrift store. I got Delilah a few things I thought she might like and put them in my backpack. When we got back, I handed her everything. She hugged me for the first time. Fuck, when she touched me I wanted to melt. I don’t care how stupid it sounds. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I don’t even know how to describe it.

8: One of the things I gave her was a bracelet kit. She was always wearing this really beat up one, I figured she might want to make a new one. She explained to me what friendship bracelets were and told me I had to make one for her, and she’d make one for me. I thought it was silly at first but honestly, the fact that she even admitted we were friends was enough for me. I’d do anything she told me to, even if that meant wearing a pink heart bracelet on my wrist.

9: Delilah started to let me in more, she told me about her parents. It took her a while, but she eventually told me about Quinn, the camp, the raiders. That’s when it all started to make sense. I got why she was so closed off at first. She’s been through a lot. I told her about my mom in full detail. I was worried she’d see me differently after that, but she just held my hand. She makes me feel vulnerable, in a good way.

10: She’s so hard on herself, I guess it’s because of her Dad. She said nothing she ever did was good enough for him. I’ve been trying to help her with that, I know that she doesn’t need me to but I just wish she could understand she doesn’t have to be like the rest of us. If only she could see herself the way other people saw her, Todd clearly cares about her a lot. Linda adores her. Me? I think she’s fucking awesome.

11: Lilah is refreshing. When I was still with my mom, we came across a lot of different people. Some were bad, but I did get to meet some good ones too. None of them were as unique as her though. Most of us are stuck in survival mode, we forget about anything else. She’s helped me get out of that just by being around her. I’ve never met someone who was so fascinated with learning about the world. She’s so smart, she could tell you facts about anything.

12: I’ll admit, I fell for her quickly. But how could I not? There was a specific moment that made me realize just how much I really loved her. I had just returned from a supply run with Todd when Delilah asked me to watch with her to the river. She wanted to collect tadpoles, but she was scared to go alone. We walked down there and she put some in a bucket. She was so excited. We ended up sitting on a small pier for a while.

13: I told her about how Todd and I had run into some of the sick, which had been rare for us for a while. I hadn’t seen one in weeks. There I was, boasting about getting to shoot one again. But the she started talking about how she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to kill one. I thought she meant because she wasn’t that great at shooting, but then she said something I’d never heard anyone else say.

14: “You ever think about how they were people too once, like us? With lives and families. They all had people they cared about, things that made them happy or sad… that sort of thing?”

15: I’ve thought about it before, but because of what happened to my mom, I didn’t care. I hated them all. At first, I was a little defensive over it. I told her they’d rip us apart if they had the chance, told her she was bumming me out. But then I sat and really thought about it for a second. I didn’t have much sympathy for the sick, I still don’t. But it did make me reflect on how easily we all kill them.

16: The way she can somehow still feel bad for them after they’ve destroyed so much… that’s special. She’s special. She makes me think a lot deeper into things. Before I met her I was cynical. Losing my mom made me lose myself in the process. I feel like I’m slowly starting to be me again. I didn’t see the point of any of this, but she gives me hope.