#gonna dedicate my life to the research of this topic

[si11ypiratecat]

the very specific way a junior and rookie driver looks at their senior and more accomplished teammate needs to be studied carefully as a serious scientific topic

boys i know it's surreal, it's finally dreams come true, and you admire and want to befriend and become the man beside you so much yet envy and want to surpass and beat the same guy to a similar degree at the same time, but jesus christ the STARS in your eyes

and the corresponding dual topic is the way how the senior drivers look back

[dailydemonspotlight]

Mokoi - Day 80

Race: Night

Arcana: Death

Alignment: Neutral-Chaos

July 26th, 2024

During my research about this topic, I found myself finding out about an ongoing health crisis relating to the yolngu people, and this post is dedicated to spreading awareness. Please remember to treat all of these topics with respect.

Aboriginal folklore is very separated from itself, oddly enough- In spite of Australia being the smallest continent, several beliefs are spread throughout in specific areas, making for a colorful tapestry where you can never be sure what the next area will believe in, in spite of the general overarching themes of Dreamtime. Case in point, the Yolngu people residing in northeastern Arnhem Land, an aboriginal tribe living in the Northern Territory who believe in systems of kinship and a nomadic hunter-gatherer lifestyle. Important to this culture as well is conceptions of magic, and, more importantly, what to avoid- the deep, dark underbelly of said world of magic. If one is to partake in the dark arts, after all, they would meet with a fate most undeserving- to be cursed by today's Demon of the Day, Mokoi.

As with a lot of Aboriginal folklore, Mokoi are relatively obscure in many respects. Most of the time, sources only state a line or two going over this monster, whose name literally translates to 'Evil Spirit,' describing it as a monster who would eat naughty children and devour sorcerers who dared to step into the realm of the dark. This is strange, though, as Mokoi appear to be an incredibly important fixture in Yolngu tradition, being described as the main source of death throughout the people-group... so today's gonna be another deep dive. And so soon after Arahabaki, too... ah, well. Thank you again to @eirikrjs for providing a very good rundown on this demon in this post. How do you keep coming through for me in the most random ways? Whatever, let's get into this.

As attested to in the 1970 article Myth as Language in Aboriginal Arnhem Land, the book Mortuary customs of northeast Arnhem Land, as well as... an Australian tonic blog, no I'm not kidding, an ancient tradition of the Yolngu people states that there are two different parts of the soul- one of the good, another of the bad. These parts of the soul are referred to as Birrimbirr and Mokuy, and when someone within the tribe passes away, their soul may take either of these forms based on their actions in life. However, while a birrimbirr will typically head back to its place of origin and pass peacefully, a mokuy will stick around, generally being a nuisance with asocial and unpredictable behaviors while haunting the deceased's belongings. This plays into a common tradition in Yolngu folklore, that being of the avoidance of uttering the deceased's name- not only will saying the name of a dead person possibly bring more grief to their family members and friends, but it may also bring their spirit back restlessly into the form of none other than a Mokoi, which appears to be an alternate spelling of Mokuy.

The Mokoi are dangerous spirits that appear frequently as a sort of boogeyman, attacking those who don't go out of their way to avoid them. It's to the point that the Yolngu people frequently make sculptures of the Mokoi, likely to alleviate the threat of them getting upset with them (or maybe they just wanted to sculpt them, I dunno). These spirits attack any who defile their graves, or even get too close to said graves, and those who do so or invoke the name of the dead long after their death may risk a sort of 'Spiritual Pollution' wherein they and their family suffer illness and eventual death. The consequences of speaking the names of the dead will lead to eventual death of oneself, after all. It's said, though I can't find a direct source for it so take this with a pinch of salt, that more people in Yolngu culture die of a Mokoi's attack than old age.

The importance of the mokuy and the birrimbirr cannot go understated, as well as the love and respect the Yolngu people feel for the dead. It's to the point that mentioning the name of a deceased person, even if one isn't afraid of an attack by the mokuy, is still frowned upon, and honestly, I find that beautiful. The amount of love and importance these people put on their ancestors is incredibly high and the love and respect everyone in their community shows that they are still people, deserving of love and respect. With that, though, how does a Japanese franchise portray a being from a completely different and closed-off tribe? Well, it's mixed.

Mokoi doesn't seem to take much inspiration from the Mokuy sculptures that typically depict it, though I can see them being hard to adapt.

Instead, it seems to primarily base itself off of the patterning of the sculptures, looking more like a green being loosely based on them carved out of wood and carrying with it a kylie to likely tie it even more with Australia, given that, well, boomerangs are the Australian stereotype. It's a bit stereotypical as a result of that, but I still do enjoy how it looks, being a funky and iconic design for a demon that still seems to carry some weight behind it.

However, through my research I came to learn that a lot of the yolngu people are in need of help, and I'd like to take a moment to rectify a mistake I made in my lwa analysis and actually speak on this. I don't have much room to actually speak on a still thriving community of people that I'm not a part of, but the yolngu people are currently going through a health crisis and I'd like to use this post as a way to spread awareness about this. As a still living people-group who are experiencing damages, and had their areas of worship ruined by various policy changes in Australia, I'd like to ask you to try and help them in any way that you can. While I'm not sure if this one has been vetted, please try to use any charity possible to assist these people in need, as they have gone through a lot.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Hi hi! I love how in depth and detailed you are when making/creating characters, or even when talking about other characters.

but I was curious, I wanted to be more inclusive/have more representation of PoC with my art works. But I do not know where to begin, or how to properly do research especially with how to research history and find accurate articles or so on.

Which I was curious on if you have any tips or pointers on how to do this/do my homework correctly?

THANKS!! OOOOhhhh I love research! And for a recent Spidersona, I had to do something like this. So here's the process I use to say things that kinda sorta make sense sometimes

How to Learn Any Topic RIGHT NOW- (kinda)

[A slightly LONG length post where I talk about my biggest resource and my number one tactic for sounding like you know your shit in an hour or less. Plus a list of educational Youtubers]

In High School, I mastered an art. The Art of 'Skyrim Speech 100'. The way to sound like you know what you're talking about, and form a pretty solid foundation of information in one sitting.

I am DEADASS CONVINCED that I have it boiled down to a very specific scientific formula. I got this I okay. I gotchu I swear I'm bout to have you like this im so deadass -

For me personally, the best resource is YouTube. One Website - Three Videos. And you're GOOD.

I have ADHD so - huge attention issues, so videos are a go to for me.

But I also really appreciate seeing the person explaining things to me. Finding good websites can be HARD, especially nowadays where a lot of websites might not even be written by humans, just clobbered together by AI.

For me, YouTube lets me see the person behind the channel, and it's a lot easier for me to vet the information if it's coming from one person who is open about their identity/certifications.

If their whole channel is dedicated to one thing, you can usually tell when they're very dedicated/educated on a topic, and I feel a lot more comfortable listening to them. Rather than reading random websites with writers I don't know/can't see.

Longform Youtube can be SO GOOD.

I'm gonna list some at the bottom - but you can find channels on everything. From architecture, to historical dress, to subway systems, entire cultures, etc.

In recent years Youtube has made a big push for longform content - so I recommend checking out videos that are 15 minutes OR MORE.

Not only is that enough time to go in depth, but because it's a video - the information is fed to you in a linear fashion. It's a lot more conversational and visual than reading a website.

If you hear something and need to remember, you can always go back. It can be hard to go back to a webpage and find the exact line, but videos are a bit easier.

Tips:

Try for find Youtubers that focus on ONE topic - or creators who go in depth about a wide array of interesting things (like Tom Scott or Anthony Padilla). Look for Doctors and Professors - A lot of educational professionals have youtube channels now. And they'll usually be upfront about it, searching things like 'History Professor explains X' or 'Doctor explains Y'. TEDTalks are good for this too. Look for people who are, or have the thing you're representing - If you're writing for a disability, it's always good to watch a video about the day in the life of someone with it - mental illnesses too. And there are a lot of great youtubers that easily break down things like cultural practices - or the issues they face because of their identity. Look for news channels. Watch current events. Vice, BBC, Channel 4, and have a lot of good current news, and they're posting videos every day. These videos show real life conditions while explaining it all, and they're really helpful for knowing about current political/cultural topics. DOCUMENTARIES!!!! - There is a documentary on anything. You can quote them in academics, and unlike movies, people post them on YouTube ALL the time, and people make them all the time. If you need to know about something, DOCUMENTARY.

I love using videos for everything, and below is how I use them:

I have a method that usually helps me sound like I'm super knowledgeable - By casting a very wide and very specific net over any topic. By narrowing any topic down to three parts, you can learn about 40% of a topic, but sound like you know 80%.

How to Teach Yourself Any Topic (in an hour and some change)

Three step method.

Watch three longform videos (15+ mins) about the topic. Each video about something slightly different.

The first video is about The History. This teaches us about the background of the topic. The second video is about The Expert Opinion. This teaches us about the reality of the topic. The third video is about a Random Topic inside of the main topic. This is to make us sound smart (in school)/add details or inspiration (while making characters).

Watch a fifteen minute video about each of these things, and in less than an hour, you'll have a pretty solid foundation of what it is, where it came from, and random (but surprisingly useful) details.

And when I say random I MEAN RANDOM. Can be anything - the niche, the better.

I'll give an example below with real search results and videos.

[I also give tips on how to search by topic (culture, religion, time period, etc) - as well as a list of educational BUT FUN Youtubers]

Example: I wanna make a Victorian Era Spider-woman.

The History Video - I watch a video about the general era, or what it was like being a woman in that time. I searched: Women in Victorian Era I found a real video titled: The Daily Life of a Victorian Lady

The Expert Opinion - I wanted to design her outfit accurately, so I looked for a Dress Historian's opinion on 1880's outfits I searched: Victorian Era Fashion I found a real channel: Bernadetta Banner (a channel all about recreating historical dresses - by a Broadway costume designer.)

The Random Topic - I don't know much about the Victorian Era..but I know theres two topics people always relate to the era - Sherlock Holmes and Jack the Ripper. I chose Sherlock. Sooooo, I watched a video about whether BBC sherlock was better than Downy Sherlock. Why? Because in 15 minutes it tells me about the show, the movie, AND the book - ALSO while teaching about the time period. I searched: BBC Sherlock vs Book I found a real video titled: Sherlock vs Sherlock - Which Iteration is Superior.

So after three 15-20 minute videos I know the history, the facts, and some random niche details of a topic.

Do I know everything about it? Not at all! But doing that, usually you can probably get through a conversation without freaking out too much.

By doing all that - I now know enough about the Victorian Era. From those videos I can accurately write an average Victorian woman, design her outfit accurate to the era, and also infuse some Victorian literature influence into her story.

All in an hour.

It works for other people character's too. Watching a video on the 70's, a video on the Punk Movement, and then a video of lets say a video about the band Ramones

Methods:

Some ideas for different topics:

If you want to show a character from a different time period -

If you're trying to write a character like Hobie, first watch a video about the history of the period - to understand when they were living. Then watch a video on their style/subculture - like the Punk movement. Then pick a specific band/media from the era and watch a video on it.

Sidebar: This is actually how I made Diane! I have little to no idea about the 70's outside of Punk. So searched up the history of 70's Disco, a video by Glamour about 1970's fashion, and I only knew one or two Disco singers (Donna Summer & Diana Ross) - so I chose Diana Ross. Diana is the direct inspiration for Diane's name and big hair. I never reference Diana, but it helps Diane fit the Disco theme, by emulating one of THE disco queens.

If you want to show a character from a different country -

Like India for example, a good place to start is watching a video about the history of India, then watching a vlog from someone in India (in the area you're thinking of), then watch a video about Indian fashion, or indian street food, or indian family traditions - so you can sprinkle those details into the story or conversation. Then you can build from there. Big tip: If they're from the city watch a video about the city's transit/subway system if they have one. It's a VERY fast way to learn the city, and make it sound like they actually live there, even if you're just name dropping stations and town squares.

If you want to show a character with a mental illness, disability or condition -

Start off by searching the background of the condition. Have a doctor break down what it is, how it effects the body, the mind, or both. Then watch a video of an average person with the condition, and their experience day to day. Then try and find a specific advocate, celebrity, or influence who goes into depth about it and how they empower themselves.

If you want to show someone from a different religion -

Watch a video about the beliefs of the religion, then the history of the religion, then a video of someone who practices the religion.

ETC-

Now disclaimer, this won't make you actually know everything about the topic - but at the very least, you'll probably be using the terms and words right. And you might be able to think up your own thought from there.

I used this ALL THROUGH High School.

If I know next class is about Marie Antoinette - yeah sure lemme go run and learn about her life history, her fashion taste, and the architecture of the Palace of Versailles in an hour.

Now I can talk about her childhood, personality, and where she lived.

The Great Gatsby? Never read it and I never will. The movie? NEVER SEEN IT. I searched up the history/inspiration of the author, watched a video on the book's plot and symbolism, then watched a video on the book vs the movie.

From there I kinda understood what the book was about, why the author might have written it, the symbolic ho-ha, and the extra details as if I watched the movie too.

And from there I could formulate whether I think the symbolism matters to our modern day society and why the director changed small details from the book, and etc, etc.

It was enough for me to bullshit and say words and usually people are like 'yeah you seem to be making sense' lol

HELL throw in ANOTHER video about the lives of women in the 1920's and I could probably bullshit an argument on how the Great Gatsby reflects gender roles in the Flapper Era. Like gun to my head I could probably come up with something im so deadass

HEY IM NOT SAYING SLACK OFF IN SCHOOL OKAY - DO NOT THIS IS JUST MY TESTIMONIAL - USE THIS TO LEARN TOPICS NOT BOOKS ITS A GREAT TOOL

Also disclaimer: use this for good don't be walking around like you Know Know Shit cause someone might check you and then i cant help you this is just a way to understand the basis of topics and be able to form thoughts and hold conversations about them or use them in your art and writing.

Plus it's a great way to gather strong resources for your art and writing.

It's a lot easier to show characters in a natural accurate way when you've curated a very rounded understanding of the topic or era - not just in an educational historical sense.

For the purposes of character creation, essays, sounding like you know anything in conversations - this does help. And you do start absorbing stuff. It's just about breaking the topic down, and learning about it in blocks.

If you understand the history, you can understand the now, and if you understand the now, you can understand the nuance. Like that.

I hope this helped! And because tis customary here, take this photo of Hobart Brown and go forth

And because I cannot send you off into the wild with no place to start here are some of my favorite youtubers that are actually FUN - here's a list.

Bye.

Youtube Channels

Bernadette Banner - Historical Clothing Expert specializing in Edwardian - Victorian

RMTransit - Videos about subway systems, buses, and public transit across the world. VERY quick way to realistically learn about a city

Anthony Padilla - Has lots of 'I Spent a Day With-' videos, where he sits down with people. Has videos ranging on things from Dipolar Disorder and ADHD to things like Asexuality and Ex-Mormons. Good for getting multiple honest experiences of people.

ReligionForBreakfast - Simple approachable videos about religions, their histories and beliefs. Made by a doctor of Religious Studies

Cognito - VERY good historical, cultural, and geographical videos, all cutely animated

Tasting History with Max Miller - Historically accurate cooking videos with really cool stories and histories to match

Vice News - Very good, very vetted Left-leaning news source. Vice and Vice News are two different things. Vice News is really good for current events videos on things like conflicts in countries.

Johnny Haris - slightly longer explainer videos about countries, geography, history, and weird quirks

Vox - Short detailed explainers about....anything really.

Weird History - .....It's history that's weird

Absolute History - Longer Documentaries about History, mainly the 1900's

CrowsEyeProductions - Really good Historical Fashion videos of 1400-2000's

Morgon Donner - ANOTHER Historical Fashion channel (they're really interesting yall) that focuses more on Medieval era

J.J McCullough - REALLY good videos about culture in general, as well as geography videos full of full interesting facts (did you know Nepal is the only country with a flag not four sided?) He also has some spicy takes on Canadian and Quebec politics that are interesting to me as an American but ????

Kati Moron - A therapist who makes videos about the experiences of mental illnesses and their treatment

Dr. Tracey Marks - A Doctor who makes short videos explaining the symptoms and experiences of neurodivergences and mental illnesses

[focsle]

If it’s not too much—would you mind talking a bit about how you research specific, near-nameless people and what your process is for that kind of thing? It’s such a different task than researching, say, a specific topic in history, and not a skill I’ve really had a chance to develop. I really admire your dedication and thoroughness to your whalemen and want to be able to afford that same level of comprehensiveness, without knowing where exactly to start…..

I’m gonna answer this with many a caveat! So depending on what you’re researching it might be helpful or it might be useless

The first caveat is that I can only answer in a US-centric capacity, and, when I’m getting more granular information, a New York City capacity. But these records exist for municipalities elsewhere too—it’s just the extent and accessibility of which that will vary.

A lot of people slip through the cracks when it comes to official documentation and you might not be able to find them/find much on them. For instance race, class, and gender are going to play a significant role in how someone’s life is recorded, if it’s recorded at all. And there’s a lot of human error in old record keeping that can make someone hard to find. The only reason I was able to find out as much about my friend Mr. Buel as I did, despite him dying at around age 21, was because he came from a middle class background in an urban location and his father was a rather prominent physician at the time, so his lifestyle before he went whaling was captured more clearly across census records and school records.

Whaling history is a rather unique window of time in that it’s wonderfully documented, and a lot of these otherwise forgotten ordinary guys thus have some record of their existence on crew lists. Adding to that, hundreds of whaling journals have been preserved and digitized. Most of them are logs, so they’re impersonal, but there are also a handful of personal diaries which are a rarity and luxury to have. These men would often talk about their friends and families, hometowns, old jobs, etc. And, from a non-research standpoint, it’s always an honor to be able to learn about someone’s emotional world through their own words. As such, my research and how much I’m able to find out about these men is really privileged by the fact that I often have a good amount of baseline info already that I can plug in to find out more. And if I don’t….odds are they were probably a Young Twenty Something in the year they were whaling so I can guesstimate a birth year and usually find them after cross referencing more.

 So, what to cross reference? I’ll talk about it below under the readmore cos it got long.

The easiest place to start is geneology websites. Ancestry.com is the most utilized and has the widest availability of records. You can find the census, marriage certificates, naturalization certificates, passports, death certificates, military documents, ship manifests, baptismal records, wills, and more. It’s also ridiculously expensive. Familysearch is a free alternative with less records, though I haven’t used it myself. You could try Ancestry’s free trial to farm as much as you can (and cancel before) or wait for a bulk sale that they do sometimes (that’s still stupid expensive). But it’s very hard to cancel a subscription (it’s always set to autorenew) without them hitting you with a cancelation fee once they have your card number. I believe you can avoid this by gifting yourself a subscription so they don’t have a credit card to charge and thus it won’t autorenew. It’s ridiculous, but unfortunately one of the better options as far as ease of use, searchability, access, and scope of records. There are also library versions of it that you could access for free if it’s available at a branch near you. It makes me so mad that….the census is paywalled. Fuck em.

With all that said, census records are great places to start if you know someone’s name. Even better if you know more specifics such as approximate birth year, other family members’ names, occupation, location, etc. There are federal censuses (every 10 years), as well as state censuses (records vary by state what survives and how often they were taken, as well as what questions were asked). But they aren’t perfect. Anything prior to 1850 is only going to list the head of household, and other household members are nameless and simply grouped in age and gender brackets. Prior to 1880, you won’t be able to find anyone based on a specific street address because each house was numbered in order of visitation by the enumerator instead. This was a puzzle for me when I was trying to figure out where Buel lived, because his school papers listed a home address, but when I searched it, it was several blocks away from the election district the census said he lived in. So I used fire insurance maps and realized that the house numbers had changed rather dramatically from the 1850s to now. Through those I found his actual home location by matching the address and election district to the map.

Sanborn fire insurance maps are great if you want to know more about a specific part of town in the 19th and 20th centuries, as well as the actual house numbers in that time. The New York Public Library digitized a number of them, and iirc they have other states too. These maps were highly specific about what each building was made out of, what sort of industries or shops were around it, houses of worship, parks, etc. It won’t tell you anything specific about an individual person, but does add some texture to their life. 

While the census is a good jumping off point, it has a number of issues like those mentioned above, and beyond. The 1870 census was so incorrect the first time around it had to be conducted again. The 1890 census was largely destroyed in a fire and so those records are lost. There is going to be a lot of human error. Enumerators might accidentally skip addresses or people. They’re inevitably also going to mark down incorrect or reductive information about those people. The racial identity of people was particularly misrepresented by enumerators often, as it wasn’t self id but the enumerator passing a judgment within ever changing and limited ‘categories’ that shifted with each census. Ages are going to be variable. Names might be misspelled or a person might change their name (tho I have to plug in here that no one’s names were changed at Ellis Island! It’s a huge myth that is so deeply enduring! Didn’t Happen! Except for one person named Frank Woodhull! Look him up sometime for some Gender Nonconforming History). Also, more than one person can have the same name as someone else living at the same time. That’s just how it is. So that’s where cross referencing is important. Trace the person across records—do you see the same family members, do you see marriage records that could account for changes, do the ages and years make sense, all of that. It’s like putting together a puzzle. Sometimes the puzzle is never completed. Sometimes people just disappear from the record entirely.

For looking for people outside of the census years, city directories can be good for that. Again, a lot of cities had these—New York’s are digitally accessible through the NYPL. These came out every year and basically functioned like a phonebook, usually listing someone’s name, occupation, place of work, and home address (and sometimes limited racial signifiers, if the person was not white). Directories are again, not perfect. They only list people who were ‘gainfully employed’, and it’s very rare to see women in them because of the limited types of work open to women while the directories are in use. But it’s another way of piecing things together. For instance I found the first name and address of my other friend Mr. J.E.Haviland (Jacob), by taking what he mentioned in his journal (the names of brothers, his particular skillsets, and an acquaintance of his who used to work in the same neighborhood as him with specific street names), and ultimately finding a man who matched in the city directory in the years he would be working in that neighborhood. Again, puzzles!

The National Archives also has TONS of documents (I’ve dug through them for seamen’s protection certificates as well as US Consular records to find out about things that may have happened to men abroad), and a lot of them are digitized. The problem is they aren’t often easily searchable so you spend a lot of time staring at rather poor scans and folders containing hundreds of pages of stuff. But if you know more or less what you’re looking for, it’s a possibility. The Library of Congress also has a number of public records available and digitized, as well as searchable newspapers in Chronicling America. And all of that is free. Findagrave, also free, can be helpful in finding cemetery plots as well as other family members who might be buried there that could help in further cross referencing info. And check the municipal archives / libraries in the location you’re researching as well if they’re accessible—they often have public records or could help steer you in the right direction.

Court records can be interesting as well, and can usually be found in state/municipal archives. In the absence of diaries, police court records are one way to hear someone’s voice, just for a little moment. Granted, it’s often their voice in defending themselves, but I’d say police court records are, unfortunately, one of the few ways to hear marginalized perspectives which otherwise don’t have much presence in the government record. Sensationalist newspapers would often publish bits from them. As such they must be taken with a huge grain of salt, but it’s another avenue to find a piece of someone’s life

The last thing I’ll say is the only research subscription thing I pay for currently is Genealogy Bank, on the subject of newspapers. It was also expensive (though I got a bulk sale), but feels worth it to me right now. It’s pretty amazing, and not just for researching people but topics. The searching isn’t always particularly accurate, but it’s a WEALTH of newspapers (more than Newspapers.com I believe), that is searchable and can be narrowed by state, city, and all the specific newspapers published in that city over a couple centuries. You can look up names or keyword search anything else and specify specific days and date ranges. It’s good. Again, not a perfect search system, but it’s better than Chronicling America imo.

Depending on who you’re researching, archive.org is also invaluable. Look at the pages of libraries / museums / other academic institutions there to see what they got. It’s where I find all my whaling diaries.

That’s all I can think of for now! Hope it was helpful! 

[harvest-of-the-present]

hi! i am voraciously consuming info about selene and i saw ur post about associating her with creativity and that just. clicked so well. i think its a beautiful interpretation. adding another layer, most artists love drawing / get struck with inspiration at night.

i was wondering if i could hear more about ur experiences with her? what does her presence feel like, or how have u feel that ur life has changed since you've been working with her? thank you so much <3

hello! I'll gladly talk about Selene<3 It's so nice to know that that post clicked that well with you, and you also point out a really interesting fact to know related to it! I can already see this getting a bit long so I'm gonna continue under the read more, I hope this helps somehow in your search for info about her and others' experiences with her!

If I remember correctly, when I first thought about starting to research about her was because my mother told me Selene was the other name she had been thinking of giving me. And that surprised me— the name of a goddess herself, and not exactly one that is common in my country. I think she had mentioned it to me way before, and I remember using it or some variations of it as nicknames online in early years of high school. So, when I was reminded of it and I already had my pagan lenses on, it clicked in a different way.

I felt like I was slowly recognising little references of her in my life, and decided to try worship her out of admiration and respect, because those little details had been important to me in one way or another, and it just felt like the right thing to do even though I was just starting as a worshipper and felt insecure about many things, especially about time. Time has been something I've been struggling with when it comes to make space to my spiritual life in my days, but it didn't seem to bother her. She always remained patient. It was as if she knew when I would not be able to continue and that better moments for that would come.

Because I took a break from it all around two years ago. I hadn't been spending time on my religious practice almost at all and one day suddenly felt the need to do a tarot reading. To check, as if I needed to receive something. And there she was, alongside another deity that finished his work with me at the time. I knew this other deity was waving goodbye at me, but Selene's reading felt different, as if she smiled with a see you soon in her lips. It was obvious I needed a break, due to my circumstances and how I had been dealing with all of that for some time, but despite all my doubts and little dedication at the time, her reading felt comforting, as if she promised a better moment would arrive and she would be there to continue with me when that time came.

And that time was last year, when I slowly got in touch with it all again and references to her name appeared even when I researched other deities. And she felt so welcoming and nurturing. She's like a light smiling upon you, caring to the point of knowing about those you care about. In that one post about creativity I mentioned she appeared in a friend's dream, and that friend is a penpal of mine. I can see myself associating her with distance friendships and letters to people who are dear to us because of that, too. But yes, she appeared in that friend's dream and not long after a tarot reading where she told me something about connecting with people like myself, about finding people with similar interests that would understand me. And that was years ago, and that penpal is now one of my closest friends.

There's also the topic of dreams and the night. I've thought of her while being out at night alone, scared that something would happen, and I would look at the sky or the moon and feel like I had something to focus on instead of my worry, kind of as if she reassured me that things would go fine.

I'm also the kind of person who has days of randomly waking up at night because of dreams, as if I needed to wake up right after having them in order to remember them. Some of those nights happened right after I wrote a prayer to her related to dreams, and I honestly tried to talk with her to have full nights of rest again because it was happening one day after the other haha. at least that specific time, I associated that experience with her. In other times when it has happened, I pray for safe dreams and a peaceful sleep. and if I still wake up too early or during the night, I will often see the Moon shining right through my room's window. It's happened so many times that it's gotten hard to think of it as just a coincidence.

So yeah, this could be a great summary of my experience with her :D! She's also recently helped me accept the boundaries I need instead of avoiding them because I feared to be too much, and encouraged me to get a tarot deck by sending a random tarot sticker with a moon my way ! she's a patient good listener that may give the feeling that she listens more than talks, but she will make herself known when you need her or wants to encourage you on something 💜

[kagulyhan]

This thread is dedicated to explain whole situation going with me, my life and my dissapearance for 1 month for all of you guys.

❗️ A LOT OF SENSITIVE CONTENT AND TOPICS ❗️

I need help :c Ty for your time ♥

Hey everyone! Long time no see! I'm so sorry for dissapearing without knowing what happened but… I was hospitalized with allergic suffocation and skin illness and been in hospital for a week :) I'm home now but I could really use your help with situation I'm in >< .

Long story short: I got cold -> my home got porch renovation right when I got ill -> smell of toxic paint toxicated me for 2 weeks (without any way to awoid it or vent it out) -> I got allergic reaction with my skin being burned and itchy -> It got worse and worse.

I had teally high temperature but worse - REALLY BAD Atopic dermatitis (AD) of 90% of my body the whole time and for the timebeing cared in my local clinic.

Sadly, their diagnosises were wrong and they treated me until I can go on my own without suffocation symptoms.

Rest of medical research and search of the actual reasons of this hardcore AD have been on me and my finances that are still not great.

Still I managed to find some money and seek help with paid medical care. It's still going and not every details are clear for me yet.

When I got hospitalized and healed for quite some time. I couldn't reach you all out beacuse of slow internet and lack of VPN services so I just have had to wait until now. I was in a standalone "box" for most of the time with only books to read.

After that I was busy finding right clinic and medicine centers that could actually help me and I had to deal with annoying feeling of itchy, painfuly dry skin without proper care or literally ANY way to feel better and not worse.

My life is not in danger anymore but I spent a lot of time and resources being ill and there's still a lot of rehabilitation ahead, mostly for my skin, immune system and GI tract that needs care. Mostly diets, medicine and some other (expencive) ristricts.

While 90% of my skin have been damaged it will cause me discomfort almost everytime if not cared properly. It's itchy and dry, flaking here and there (not to mention a lot of microcracks causing pain) so I can't be as active as before without proper medicine for a while.

AND DAMN THAT MEDICINE EXPENSIVE. I really didn't knew and didn't even thought about how unforgivable AD can really be for budget and mental stability of common person. It's almost imposible to handle on your own.

So I have to ask you all for help. I'm not gonna lie I did spend mote than 500$ (450€) on all of the things and there's still more to handle and get over with.

It may seem not a big number but IT IS for the country I'm currently live in…

You can help me and donate HERE

or

request comission from me with my ARTISTREE

(but I must warn you that I can't tell you the deadline because it depends on my health and resources (but I'll try and do it ASAP)

Thank you so much for your time! ♥

I'll really appreciate any reposts and any help right now! TwT

Please stay healty and remember - everything will be alright, we just need to try a little harder >w< ♥

[unoisveimved-un-proffesional]

Small update on what I've been doing with my life currently and thinking about, it just feels like something like this should be posted onto what I call My Blog.

So, I kinda got this idea, right? That maybe with a few of my connections and the places I'm getting myself into right now, I could get the whole Palestine thing mentioned at a festival or two this summer, maybe even have a small area like a little stand dedicated to information and messages surrounding the whole thing, possibly sending out invitations to Pro-Palestinian Liberation Organizations? I've currently just got a few bullet points and notes, I'm just thinking while I'm helping out these people with a couple of their things I could probably propose the idea.

I don't really know the head honcho's too well, they seem kind of like liberal types to me, what I know of them politically is just their ties to the Green Party, specifically the Green Party of Alaska through one of my friends who was deeply involved in that party, and there may be a couple of organizations involved I haven't bothered to research yet, but from what a personal source tells me there is some discussion around the topic taking place, leaning more in favor of Palestine it seems, and while they work on the stuff they're doing, my personal source might be able to sometime when I've got some things set up and ready put in the word for me or bring it up in a meeting. I already wanted to be involved in this project for personal reasons, and to an extant already am and have been, but it kinda struck me that I might be able to get something started there that's a little more, idk, connected? Something clicked in me about that, bringing some parts of my own life together and then parts of the world I see together, and you know mentally I leaped at the chance for some form of direct action and am... definitely committed to it now.

It's still a work in progress idea, I have a bunch of links and sources and stuff saved, I'm looking into books and stuff, but I have yet to properly flip through my list and put it to more direct use. I want it to have an emphasis on what an American Citizen (as these events will be, at least for now, primarily taking place in the USA) can do about it, like maybe I could find or make a map of weapons manufacturing sites in the US and another more metaphorical map of money trails and politicians, things people can not only learn of, but knowledge they could use. Just some ideas I'm still workshopping, it's a slower process than I'd kinda like right now. My internet connection is still kinda crap and I still have life and dishes to keep up with, but I feel pretty confident in the overall direction I'm moving in. As big of a deal as I'm making this small Pro-Palestinian movement of mine out to be, it's realistically more of a side project I'll have to put spare time into while I get info on what I'm currently gonna be doing, and it's ultimately not my event and out of my hands if something like this goes through or not. For all I know there could already be plans similar to mine being worked on in a more professional setting right about now. I have a couple, more personal projects I'd like to see inserted, maybe a little bit of advertising for some housing projects I've really wanted to get started, but what I feel most strongly about currently is the Palestinian people and the occupation of Palestine.

This is, all to say, I have somewhat more importance tied into my life right now, which I'm still a little anxious about, just as an update on what I'm currently doing. I mean right now I'm not doing that, I'm bumping it to the Hotline Miami OST and digesting soup while writing a post on tumblr.com at 11 PM, but for the next couple months, I have several interconnected goals that I am passionate about and proud of for political and personal reasons that I'm going to be spending more time on. It at least seems like a good jumping off point to get more into the swing of things with my life. As anxious as I am you know, it feels pretty good.

[lunarsilkscreen]

Techno-Baffle and the lie of AI

"Whatever you want it to do, it can do it." - The Promise of *EVERY* new technological advancement.

Sweet, have it mine the ore, smelt the titanium, and build a rocket by next week.

I used "Baffle" not "Babble". Yes.

We all want to believe in science fiction, and that the technology of tomorrow is here today. And if you look at history's idea of what "tomorrow" looks like, you'd get a bunch of vaguely accurate guesses, and a bunch of ideas that look either stupid, or very far off to what we have today.

Gilded Time Machines that look like Santa's Sleight written by H.G. Wells. Or Orson Wells describing a socio-political machine that was already in place when he wrote the book. Which happened to coincide with some ideas today.

Ah, remember when screen savers were a thing that didn't waste energy and computer monitor life?

Look at something like "Steam Punk" which is a dedicated genre of science fiction to yesterday's future today. Which serves to bring those fantasies to the modern day, and you can see just how far off our ideas actually were.

Sometimes not far off, other times, *very far off*.

Cyberpunk is the genre that describes today's socio-political machine with the same premise as yesterday's steampunk. Today's future, right now. And in a few years time, some of those ideas are gonna look pretty stupid. And there's gonna be some new form of discopunk or something that idolizes the lost future of today.

The question you are being asked is "What Exactly does AI do?" And the buzzword of the day is "AGI". I hate to tell you, we've had AGI. We've had it for decades. Maybe even centuries of you ask sociologists and data scientists.

Search engines like Google are a form of AI. They collect a bunch of data together, so you can ask Google to return some resources about a topic.

One of those is Wikipedia, a bunch of those are trash-ads. And a bunch more are other resources and descriptions by other people. Sorted by theoretical relevance. (They say if you ever go past the 3rd Google page, you've gone too far, but I find--on some research projects; you need to go deeper. Because the topical things replace the most relevant things.

And that's the exact same thing that happens with ChatGPT today.

Instead of giving you the resources it used, it just compiles them together. Usually stopping at the Wikipedia entry. And oftentimes rambling auto-complete, usuallly like "type 'women are' and then have auto-complete complete the sentence."

"women are women and women are women and women are women and women are women and women" - my phones auto-complete. Which sounds suspiciously like queer Twitter...

AGI isn't exactly far off from early video game AI enemy bots. Or Animal Crossing NPC behaviors. You give it a task, say "accomplish this goal in this way as quickly as possible" and it fails at that until it figures a way to fail successfully.

Sometimes, it's better than a human. It most often isn't, because the parameters humans give it are shit.

"Needs more Buckets"

If you say "okay track mania and finish this course as fast as possible" it'll map a pretty solid route. If you tell it play Super Mario World, for some reason... It sucks at that. Really bad.

I know why; it's because the parameters are "Go forward until you reach the end. Press jump sometimes" which could definitely be improved if the AI had a way to understand what those buttons did, and a way to understand what it was seeing on a screen.

You ever blindfold a friend and try to dictate commands to them so they can play Super Mario blinfolded?

As any 90s Mom will tell you though; Video Games don't translate into real life. You need better parameters for that.

AI also can't create anything new. It can solve problems that humans haven't been able to solve, or to come up with recipes that haven't been tried before that might be better than what we're already doing.

It can be incredibly precise.

It also can't make entertainment that hasn't already been made. If you think Simpsons has been going on long enough, just imagine it running forever with AI writers.

I'm sure the neverending Seinfeld channel already burned a lot of watchers out on AI-Media.

What is AI good for? What is it Used for? Learning models aren't new, but they are faster and easier to use on cheap tech. Even still, like the industrial revolution, and every technological advancement, it just makes monotony easy and quicker to do.

That's it.

And I hate to say it; the people currently using the AGI buzzword... Don't know how to give it parameters, and they don't know how to make it productive, other than for it to write essays like a high schooler: Copy it from Wikipedia, and change some things so it's not obvious.

That's also how you get around the plagiarism filters without trying too hard my guys. Don't even need to pay the $30 for ChatGPT.

The fact is; AI is dumb. All it is. All it ever was; is a search engine coupled with AutoHotkey.

The same two things your average hardcore gamer already knows like the back of their crumb filled keyboard.

[aliencrystals]

(first ask ever so bare with me idk if I’m doing this right)

I wanted to ask where you get your information on cryptids? Any YT channels, websites or even books would be appreciated.

second a spooky paranormal thing that happened to me. So I was probably 7 or 8 and was sleeping in my bed sideways facing the entire rest of my room with an eye mask on. It was really dark since I have one window in my room that just leads to the sunroom but I was sleeping fine until I suddenly started hearing a voice. It was a soft sounding woman’s voice and she just kept saying “Ts Ts Ts” over and over again. It wasn’t a piece of paper or something hitting something else it was a clear as day voice. I got scared and started calling for my mom and dad. My dad begrudgingly came into the room and instructed me to go sleep with my mom that night since he was gonna sleep on the couch where it’s cooler. As I left the room I heard a very distinct “whoosh” sound as if something leaped down. It couldn’t have been the door since it was open with my dads hand. I just ran to my moms room. Also a lot of weird noises (bangs and taps) just kinda happen in my house so who knows what I could’ve been.

anyway hope this childhood trauma was spooky and I hope I did this right

I apologize for getting to your ask soo late! Thank you for sharing this, that’s so creepy fr I’d never be okay after that 😭😭

As for where I get info, literally everywhere and I’ll try my best to list some of my trusted sources here: Here is A website with a very big catalog of cryptids and information on them!

Bonus stuff: Dust_hallow - Has very good knowledge from years of research on The Fae & so does Mintfaery Meganalismedium is a medium with great information about spirits and the afterlife Chaos Psion - Does a lot of videos on Metaphysics, chaos magic, psionics, etc but has some good videos on the Fleshgait and Wendigo Anna bridgland - has an entire channel dedicated to knowledge of The Fae too The Lore Lodge - Again, Lots of information on The Skinwalker and Wendigo & other topics too! Some videos about astral realms and their entities: Here , here & here ( i have not watched them all yet so dont take me 100% on them ) And generally i read from all over different websites and places written with extensive information from people such as witches, folklorists, mediums, to people with deep experience and those who've dedicated their life to studying this stuff. i love to keep an open mind but i do keep my skepticism and even though ive believed my whole life i am still learning ! hope all these help have a lovely day! 🩵🔮

[divasanddementia]

Loving Dementia Even When Dementia Is Unlovable!

Loving Dementia Even When Dementia Is Unlovable! 💜 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlwKqLhVeJo Dementia is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get! The thing is…Mama has always been a pistol. So, when dealing with her now, my skin is thick. Looking back, all my life has prepared me for this. This journey is a mixture of up and downs...making memories, making lemonade out of lemons, keeping a positive attitude, love, and understanding. ✨Dark Clouds, Strong Hearts: A Family's Journey Through Storms. Uncover Their Story. To explore more, visit now https://ift.tt/KSDPLTO ✨Discover favorites and essentials in caregiving and beyond — visit Crystal L. Bass's Amazon Shop today: https://ift.tt/GvqVQSR This video is about the ups and downs with Dementia. But It also covers the following topics: Creating Memories With Dementia Dementia Care Challenges Love And Dementia Care 🔔Join the journey of hope! Click subscribe to be a part of a movement to transform caregiving and the fight against dementia into moments of joy and connection. https://www.youtube.com/@divasanddementia4925/?sub_confirmation=1 ✅Important Link to Follow 🔗 Crystal's Books https://ift.tt/mxGIkPK ✅ Stay Connected With Me. 👉Instagram: https://ift.tt/UxDOe7i 👉Tiktok: https://ift.tt/bLmQchq 👉Website: https://ift.tt/AV3E2yO ✅ For Business Inquiries: DivasAndDementia@gmail.com ============================= ✅ Recommended Playlists 👉 Memories with Mama https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAgmdINExzI&list=PLg5XuJmn2LOIAjnD9nlyonC9LrDKoJqSM&pp=iAQB 👉 Sassy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRCyMFo7T0M&list=PLg5XuJmn2LOIDhAeYJKtOzicLhWLlphCb&pp=iAQB ✅ Other Videos You Might Be Interested In Watching: 👉 Caregiving is like... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-nBsq53YxE 👉 No time for TEARS! Dementia requires STRENGTH! 💜 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGXX-Mazqbg 👉 Mama STAYS on the move! 💜 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgDXodLyQQc 👉 Quality time stimulating Mama with patience. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pEar3th6Qo 👉 💜Mama loves moving furniture, rearranging & "cleaning". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XctrwLVCVDU ============================= ✅ About Divas and Dementia. Welcome to "Divas and Dementia," a heartfelt journey shared by a daughter dedicated to her mom's care in the face of Dementia. My channel brings you into the daily life of love, laughter, and the realities of caring for a loved one in a memory care facility. Through daily visits, I keep the spirit alive, ensuring that loneliness and forgetfulness are kept at bay. Dementia might challenge me, but it brings unexpected moments of joy, thanks to Mama's vibrant personality. Join me to normalize Dementia and spread awareness with a touch of love. For Collaboration and Business inquiries, please use the contact information below: 📩 Email: DivasAndDementia@gmail.com 🔔Join the journey of hope! Click subscribe to be a part of a movement to transform caregiving and the fight against dementia into moments of joy and connection. https://www.youtube.com/@divasanddementia4925/?sub_confirmation=1 ================================= #dementiacare #familyoutings #patienceandlove #dementiadaughter #creatingmemories #caregivingtips ⚠️Disclaimer: I do not accept any liability for any loss or damage incurred from you acting or not acting as a result of watching any of my publications. You acknowledge that you use the information I provide at your own risk. Do your research. Copyright Notice: This video and my YouTube channel contain dialogue, music, and images that are the property of Divas and Dementia. You are authorized to share the video link and channel and embed this video in your website or others as long as a link back to my YouTube channel is provided. © Divas and Dementia via Divas and Dementia https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrcbzuAF0cFTSAE2a4_VcrA April 20, 2024 at 07:00AM

[insanemomentsinrhdhistory]

Some reflections and general notes as we go into Reading The Signs

- [ ] Otherness or nan?

- [ ] Idea of building a portrait links to the boxes of personality they used to have in the dementia care home. Little frames full of images that summed up a person’s life, except they rarely had photographs of themselves because not a lot of them existed. It’d be images like places they had work or fashion they had grow up with or tv characters from their time. Bits of the culture they lived in but mostly the ones they chose to participate in because those are the ones that could represent them best. We are all products of our environment so grabbing bits of an environment is almost enough to sum up a person.

- [ ] Otherness seems like kind of an obvious one to go with purely on the basis of who I am as a person. Has the opportunity to explore the idea of being othered in a community of others and how uniquely isolating that can feel. Something about layers? Idk but just the word makes my brain go on this whole tangent - the idea of fitting into “normal” society the same way a puppy or something would. So you fall through to the next level and that’s like the “cool outcasts” or whatever but they really don’t like you so you fall through to the last layer and it’s just darkness and you sit there for a really long time thinking you must be the only person in the whole world down on that layer. Maybe you can see the glow of the other outcasts above you almost like a ceiling, but you can’t reach it. This could work as an animation or something idk. Eventually you see a flicker down on your level and at first you ignore it but ultimately you build up the courage to run to it before it dies out. And that’s how you find your people. And then everything feels lit up. Like your eyes have adjusted to the darkness.

- [ ] Asking Cabal to write about their experience of “otherness” could be a pretty interesting way of collecting research for this topic this week. I’m thinking a google form asking them to write about it, and maybe a place to insert a small drawing expressing how they feel about it. I’m expecting MS paint more than Mona Lisa but it could be an interesting source of visual research.

- [ ] However there’s also really interesting potential to the whole idea of building a portrait of someone without using their face. Like these are all people I know really well and have spent hours talking to. We know each other inside out but I don’t know their faces, they don’t know mine and most of us don’t even use our real names. Seems like an obvious link to the idea of portraits without faces because that’s kind of the point. Maybe I could do dedicated sketchbook pages (like max one side of a4 per person or something) creating a mini “portrait” of prominent members or something. For some reason the person who comes to mind first is ginger and his bloody clock.

- [ ] I’ve gathered some visual research from Pinterest and tumblr. Tumblrs and interesting one because the image search is absolute dogshit, but you can search for pretty much anything and there’s gonna be someone who’s reposted a relevant sadcore quote or poem about the topic you’re thinking of. I’m thinking of using these similarly to how we used the song lyrics in the Sound and Vision topic. The visual research from Pinterest is varied, but one common occurrence is this odd photography with what I presume to be a fish-eye lens. It exaggerates and alters the proportions of the figures. I think it’s just an interesting way of visually representing the idea of otherness. Beyond just dressing strange or having a weird silhouette or something, the whole structure of the body is altered. Could be an idea to play around with photography as a medium I don’t usually experiment with. Also feeds into the fact I really need to get better at including “meaning” in my work and not just having things exist to look pretty. This works because of the idea of the visual oddities leads the viewer to question why else the figure may be an “other”. Idk I’m writing this at 3am.

[rianafying]

i’m on tumblr again about to journal so hard. anyway, i’ve been extremely busy and overwhelmed lately, with school and work. some would say i’m doing better than ever but i would say i am living in an internal prison hell of my own creation and my therapist would say i have a fear of success. she did actually say that. and after reading a couple of articles it makes a lot of sense. i have a huge problem. imposter syndrome and always downplaying my achievements god knows why. well god didn’t tell me but i found out why. it’s scary, being in the spotlight especially after experiencing so much bullying throughout my life. now i’m not scared of the direct bullying but i find myself actively sabotaging my own life. for example: i’m doing this podcast and so i’m researching relevant topics. after i learn about the topics, i feel worthless and like why would i make this podcast, if i know this information surely it’s either useless or wrong or everyone already knows better. i’m scared of putting my hand up and lately i’ve somehow developed crippling social anxiety, which is completely undetectable to the people around me. turns out i’m an introvert. i mean i kinda knew it but it’s been very relevant to finding the perspective that is keeping me alive recently. i’m doing great and somehow i hate it. i want to rip my skin and hair out and it makes no sense. i need to get on some sort of adhd medication at some point in life because raw dogging it is proving to be too exhausting for this poor brain. my assignments have been going kind of really well and yet i feel like i’m flopping harder than ever. no matter what i achieve it feels like the bare minimum and nothing i could do would actually make me happy. what is this hell i have placed myself in. at least i’m not screwing up. but i’m always this close to screwing up. the best i do is not screw up. somebody literally offered me extra money for my work because they liked it so much and i’m here still wondering if i let everyone down. aaaaaaaaaaagahsgshsjskkdjjdks. talking about my fear of success sounds an awful lot like i’m bragging, but i’m done with this part of today’s journal entry so let’s move onto other things that are bothering me.

my cousin and my little sister are both going through hell with their uni applications and as big sister ™️ it is often my responsibility to help them out and i love them so much and i’m so so glad that they value my input so much that they come to me with their problems and have me check their essays and applications. and i love helping people especially the people i love so much but sometimes i really just can’t find the time and i forget to get back to them and it makes me feel awful!!!! but i try my best, they know i try my best and they love me so it’s okay.

number three is that im fucking broke, i do fun work and fun work in the fashion industry pays very little. im often doing very cool projects with student designers or little emerging brands and underground artists and obviously they can’t pay the way big corporations do and im so grateful for whatever they give me and for the opportunity to work with them, but at some point im gonna need to find a steady job. i’ve been talking about this for exactly a year and a half now. a lot of problems in my life will be automatically resolved as soon as i get a job. this summer inshallah.

there’s always so many little things to remember and i do my best to keep track of them by putting them in my calendar and my master to do list and my notebook and anywhere and everywhere literally plastered all over everything. it’s kind of overwhelming but the top things im worries about rn are my business presentation, my collab, my interview, the photoshoot for the social media marketing campaign, the blog posts, the exam, to return some stuff i borrowed from designers and the hair makeup gig. all of this needs to happen before the 12th of december, after which i am fully dedicated to finding and doing fully paid steady work in retail or hospitality.

oh i’m also worried about not sending back the pictures i took for my photoshoot, because i’m not happy with the quality of my work. hahah crippling imposter syndrome and self hatred check!!

and my relatives are visiting me this week in my tiny studio apartment that’s messy (as always) (actually not as always, it’s much cleaner than ever before i’m actually getting better at this). there’s just a few too many things on my mind.

it’s gonna be okay though. things are going well, despite how i feel, despite all the fears i have, despite all the complaining, the reality is that i’m killing it. and i’m gonna listen to my therapist and try to have a goo

[kazma-does-school]

a common misconception about productivity (in my opinion)

i'm gonna preface this with that this has helped me in my studying endeavor, but is it backed up with research and sources? no. take it with a grain of salt, but if your new to being consistently productive i think this is a valid take.

another preface: i'm neurodivergent, so in my personal life, it can be very difficult for me to get motivation to clean, especially when people ask me to do it. productivity is the same thing.

additionally, please share anything that you relate to/sources that contradict me/anything else related to the topic too! if i'm dead wrong i'd love to find out why and read up on it.

your studying space does not need to be 100% clean and organized for you to study at. it's whatever and wherever makes you feel productive.

i've been lurking on tumblr for more years than i probably should have been, and studyblr has always been part of it. however, i only just got the courage to actually start up this blog. no, i don't expect it to take off in the span of a single year, but holding myself accountable is very important for my final year of high school.

however. i live in a small-ish home, and never had a desk or anything in my room i could dedicate time to sit down at and just work. instead, everything would go from my backpack to my bed, and i'd work leaning back, and then wonder why i felt the urge to sleep, surrounded by comfortable things.

lately, although i'm still in the same bed, i've made a point to try and make my bed and not sit underneath the sheets, as well as using a lap table made for computers when i'm working. i organize my items on the side of my bed, but as i work, it gets more and more cluttered. i know exactly where everything is, but it doesn't look like the picture perfect studyblr with coffee/tea and natural sunlight. my energy drinks and inconvenient 'desk' aren't totally the same as going to the library to study, but it gives me productivity that other spaces don't.

if the above situations feel like what you need to be productive, by all means go for it! i'm not shaming those who have that lifestyle for studying and getting things done. it just feels assuring, at least to myself, that we don't all need to use the same methods of clean and organized to make productivity a reality in our lives. have a messy space if that's what gives you inspiration! i end up with highlighters everywhere after a really good study session, as well as pen marks on my hands and discarded pages with ideas that just didn't work out. but i can see my progress within the messy area, and feel the urge to keep going!

tldr: messy spaces can also provide inspiration and productivity for people, and that's okay, and so is having a neat and tidy area where everything is put away

[transmalewife]

HUGE fan of your tick garden post. As a country mfer seeing ignorant city slicker suburb livers (key word ignorant) talk about this shit is so infuriating. My family keeps a low cut lawn because even with our low cut, well maintained grass lawn, we frequently get ticks. Within the past 2 years I've probably pulled 30+ from my body, countless more thoughout my life and as someone who's already disabled I have to get tested for Lyme disease frequently to ensure my symptoms are still from my other issues. Ticks ain't something to dismiss so easily. They are a huge issue. They can be deadly. Are they extremely important to the ecosystem ? Yeah, and that's why we keep em around and why we use bug sprays n shit when we venture into their home. Talking about biodiversity lawns without touching the topic of ticks irks me so bad. Thank you for taking time to make that post !

The funny thing is I am absolutely an ignorant city slicker, maybe even worse than suburbs since I've spent all my life in flats in the strict city center. never even had a lawn. I did however have a tick once and it, without any exagerration, ruined my life. like almost every big setback I've faced in my life, the reason I've been in first year of uni 4 times, soon to be 5, barely graduated highschool despite having mostly good grades, because I was barely above the 50% attendance minimum, all directly traceable back to lyme.

I expected that post to get like 15 notes at most, not 10k in one day, and although i'm glad bc this is important info, I might have written it differently. for example mentioned why and how to safely remove ticks (without killing or squishing or suffocating them, so you don't push the lyme into ur bloodstream, by levering or pinching them up from underneath) and mostly that the overall point is that just letting things grow wild is not biodiversity.

Restoring biodiversity takes more work than keeping up a manicured lawn, not less, at least at first, even though some people try to offer an easy way out. letting things just grow as they please will actually atract more invasive plants. You need to do your research and carefully plan out which places you'll dedicate to food, to pollinator friendly wildflowers, and which you're actually planning to hang out on, and thus will need to keep short. people in the notes have been suggesting great alternatives like clover, moss or woodchips, and other ground cover plants that stay short and require less upkeep than grass, but you still need to do research to lear what's good for your area, and since I'm polish, I can't do that for americans.

someone tagged that post saying smth like 'people want laws to go back to how they were before humans adapted them that is unihabitable' and they were right. there are places (vacant lots, golf courses, fenced off decorative patches of grass, that can and should go back to wildflowers and native grasses as tall as you wish, but for hanging out it, you need sufaces or short, walkable, high visibility for snakes etc, plants. or at the very least paths of those.

my family has what is essentially two vacant lots near the woods, attached to falling apart, rotting, half-built cabins in the countryside, so I know very well how the 'low effort' approach to lawn restoration goes. One used to be a well maintained grass lawn up until like 2005, now it gets mowed once every year or two. it's knee high grass so thick it tangles around your legs and trips you if you try to walk normally. people get several ticks each every time they visit. the other hasn't been touched in at least 20 years, and it's all stinging nettle taller than me (and I'm not especially short) so obviously not exactly hospitable to human life either. if you have a bit of land you never use, let it go wild if you want. But in order to make a lawn usable and biodiverse, you're gonna need a lot more work that just giving up

[accio-victuuri]

is it me or does china or those so call companies celebrities are signed under needs to do more to protect actors, idols and etc? And I say china because I know celebrities bring a lot of business to china, so they should do more to protect them as well, whether it be a law where fans need to be at a certain distance from celebrities or make it illegal to camp outside their hotels, I don’t need to know when GG or DD goes to work or return, like they legit camp outside to see them pass them

Hello Anon! I would answer all parts of your ask here. looks like there are three sections to this.

I’ll be keeping everything under a cut and just a disclaimer that this is from my own research and opinions.

So what laws are there and what part do ‘Celebrities’ play in the Country?

• An important point I wanna start this answer with is that celebrities in China are very different, in terms of they have values they have to uphold if they wanna continue being allowed to be on air and work. In other countries, of course, a celebrity’s image is still something to watch out for, but it’s not like they are gonna be blacklisted. some of the guidelines they have to follow released fairly recent as follows :

should not "violate ethics, morals, social public order or good customs, causing serious negative social impact"

should not incite hatred and discrimination between ethnic groups, or promote cults and superstitions.

not organise, take part in or promote illegal activities such as pornography, gambling, drugs and violence, among other activities.

There are actors who were blacklisted and had to take a hiatus. At one point, people did support comeback stories but CHN is pushing stricter sanctions for those who fall in this category. They have to submit an application to China Association of Performing Arts (CAPA) if they even plan to make a comeback and be evaluated before they can continue. Also take a look at the recent issue with Xianjiang Cotton and how celebrities were quick to voice out their support and drop the endorsements. It’s part of their job. It’s part of the values they have to uphold. The sense of virtue before arts. They are expected to be more morally upright than the common people.

I wanna start with this for you to understand what’s it like to be a star in CHN. And for GG and Web who are very very popular. If you do a quick search, you will find that there are more rules to control how these celebrities present themselves vs. protecting them. The way I see it, it’s even more dangerous for them to have a dedicated following more than anything. They cannot be so popular that they eclipse certain messages that the gov’t wants to send. There are more laws on online hate and slander against celebrities than the physical suppression of these stalkers. The concept of: The fans reflect the celebrities. This is the infuriating side to this. It is the same challenge GG faced during and post 22*. The logic of: ‘xx fans are causing trouble by blocking airport entrance is the idol’s fault’ . In one such incident, GG was the one who apologized. his team did ban airport photos but he still had to apologize personally to people on the plane. During his shoot with Ace, he had to apologize to the director and crew cause people were camping and taking photos. You see where I’m going here Anon?

The general rules in photos and videos is that it can be taken provided that it’s in a public area. This is why Web, during the shooting of LOF kept pointing out people who were taking pictures to authorities. Earning him the title of Hengdian Hawkeye. There are no iron clad rules to protect them. These celebrities often have to hire lawyers and security team to enforce their privacy. This is where their companies come in. but tbh yh and wjjw did next to nothing in protecting them. It’s their own studios. their own dedicated team that’s doing the work.

who are these people following them?

• The type of fans that you are describing, going to the lengths of putting tracking devices and even secret cameras are sishengs. This is not limited to GG and Web only, it’s a problem for other celebrities too and not just with Chinese fans. For example in Korea, the counterpart to this is sasaeng. They are private life fans. They thrive on sharing personal information, even as far as an address. I don’t see this culture stopping anytime soon. We have more hope on addressing online slander and harmful rumors than erasing sishengs. I’m just being realistic here. The audience to this kind of material is huge and it’s even making it’s way to international platform. It’s the concept of wanting exclusive information. being the first to know a news or a filming tidbit and so on.

I also just wanna add that people you see taking pictures of let’s say at airports in Web’s case or when he’s off to DDU are not exactly sishengs. Some of them are even fansites. provided that it’s a public schedule and he one time even acknowledged them when they greeted him happy bday. Tho they CLEARLY DO NOT WANT to be photographed when filming dramas ( going to and leaving ) + airports.

what can we do as fans?

• I think you answered that Anon. We know what’s right. We know what not to share. It’s hard especially if you see it on your feed, just don’t share it again and distribute to more people. If you notice someone sharing, don’t be so hostile, you can inform them nicely. block sisheng accounts. don’t give them the audience that they want. I know we can be guilty of this at one point or another, knowing flight details and so on. It’s a hard practice to remove but we have to try very hard to not be tempted.

This is why GG and Web are really sending the message for fans to have their own lives. Of not chasing stars too much ( which also is something their gov’t does not endorse and is a whole topic of it’s own ) and neglecting the other people around them. Don’t vote too much. Don’t cause unnecessary trouble in the name of being GG and Web’s fan in public places. It’s what I really feel strongly about when it comes to all of this. If you are a person who can balance fandom and personal life + knows the boundaries, then you’re good.

Thank you for the Ask Anon! ❤️

[rimofwell]

feels weird to be posting on here after my frequent absences. at times, i think there’s really nothing to say but in reality i think there’s actually so much to say that i don’t know where to even begin. 

i’m nearing the end of my 2nd year and i truly cannot believe how quickly the time has gone. i’m taking my candidacy/qualifying exam in less than three weeks and i am honestly paralyzed by fear? part of me is looking forward to it being over with and officially being a ~phd candidate~ lol but another part of me is like, “lol ur gonna fail” which has produced this nice mixture of dread / anticipation. i really just want it to be over with, though i have appreciated the dedicated time to step away from the bench for a bit and really dive into the literature on my project and the state of my field altogether. there’s so much information out there and it’s overwhelming and exciting and trying to synthesize it together into a coherent story is actually pretty fulfilling. i have veered a bit from genetics and am working on a project that touches a bit on structural bio/biochemistry which is neat and not something i anticipated/planned etc. i have been missing writing/reading lately - like reading non-science papers. it reminds me of college and how my dual interests in literature + science kept me grounded and also never bored. anytime i got tired of one subject i’d kind of dive into the other. i feel like there’s this whole other part of my brain that i don’t really get to access on a regular basis and i miss it. i’m trying to think about what fulfills me and i think it really is.... learning? like science is amazing and fascinating and i do love it but there are also so many other things i love that i don’t have time to delve into as much as i want to. i think maybe i was happiest during my gap year when i got to learn as much as i wanted about everything. i do want to finish my phd in molecular biology and will, but i really just want to find something that fulfills me or figure out how to craft a personal life that is gratifying, stimulating, and fulfilling and i’m not entirely sure how to do that or what that will look like.

anyway, this has gotten quite rambley but really i just had to take a break from all the reading and writing and remind myself that i am a person too, with thoughts that don’t entirely revolve around my research project; that there are these whole other parts of me that matter too and that i want to nurture and also cherish. especially trying to remind myself of that because i have my “practice qual” on friday, which is basically me giving a defense and getting grilled for two hours by people from my lab who know a ton on the topic and it’s definitely good and will be helpful and honestly excellent preparation for the actual exam but i’m still very anxious for it and am just not looking forward to feeling like an idiot for two hours. 

in good news, i received a fellowship that i impulsively applied for back in december so i have my own funding which is nice and helps a touch with my anxiety about the whole thing. this week and last week have been just packed with honestly so many things. so many shitty personal things and so many expectations and lab/research related things i’ve had to do and i’m just like fuck? this is actually so much, i have to do so much. and the thought sometimes overwhelms me but thankfully i think in a way that knowledge helps a bit. like just me looking at all that’s on my plate and being like, “okay yes this is actually a lot but you can do hard things and you’ve done hard things, seemingly impossible things! who knows how! lmao but somehow you can always pull through” and that’s always been the case whether it be applying for phd programs a week before the deadline and getting into all but one program or throwing together what i think is a shitty fellowship application and then somehow getting the award. or writing my proposal in like 2 days. i think i’m maybe too hard on myself but the way my brain works is pretty frustrating to me and i’m thankful it works out but so wish i could be more normal about it all? like..... working on something consistently, a little bit everyday versus doing it all in a few very intense hours. my roommates who are also in the 2nd year of their phd in the same program and i talk about this all the time and i’m always like, “lol another day of being useless and not studying like i said i was going to!” and the other day one of them was like, “yes but you’ll be fine. what takes me several days to do takes you a few hours” and i thought about it and was like yes that’s kind of true but the time leading up to those few hours is kind of grueling and really it’s just me hoping that somehow my two brain cells come together to produce something coherent

god this has gotten so off track i don’t even remember what i started making this post about and instead of scrolling back to the top and trying to connect it, i think i’m just going to let it be and say that everything is a lot but i’m also working on being more intentional about my choices and i think that intentionality has come from a bunch of realizations i’ve had lately. realizations that i don’t have to live my life in any particular way. that “success” has kind of lost its appeal for me. it’s lost its draw? i don’t know quite the word for it. i think i’ve realized that i can “do this” if ~this~ is what i want, the being in academia maybe being a professor and having this very kind of strict and clear cut life but i don’t know if i want to do that. i want to find what fulfills me and i think i have a right and almost owe it to myself to figure it out. to see if i can find some sense of peace and calm actually inside of myself versus tethering myself to reality by my responsibilities and commitments. 

also once again forgot where i was going with that but i hope everyone is doing alright. i do try to check in on people even though i’m not posting but i do miss you all and honestly at this point don’t know if anyone is still reading but if so thank you. 

this quote has been coming to mind lately - it’s been true throughout my life and continues to be

“I used to think that the ability to turn back time would be the greatest possible gift, so that I could undo all the things I wish I hadn’t done. But grace is an even better gift, because it allows me to do more than just erase; it allows me to become more than I was when I did those things. It’s forgiveness without forgetting, which is much sweeter than amnesia.”