#gonna cry abt them again
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choccy-milky · 5 months ago
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: “Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖
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teddybeartoji · 22 days ago
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the new year has started kind of horribly for me i haven't felt this bad in while😭😭😭😭 but . i am feeling a bit better today so that's good i suppose AAANYWAYY i just wanted to say that i miss you and that i love you aaand that i hope you're all doing good i hope you're all having fun<3333333333
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cobrasx · 3 months ago
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fruitlemontea · 3 months ago
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hey do you ever think about how croissant & timekeepers blinking is completely synced. timekeeper & director croissant are too except director croissant blinks first to break out of that expression she was in. and then rotef is just completely out of order with all of them. as if they. dont belong. like theyre on a. separate plane of existence. or smth. haha hey chat do you ever think about that. hey. hey do you. do you ever think about that haha……
edit i just realized that rotef and director croissant only sync up in ONE frame where they both close their eyes I FEEL SO ILL. IM GOING TO THINK ABOUT THIS FOR FOREVER
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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months ago
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2024 Austrian Grand Prix - George Russell
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cdroloisms · 2 years ago
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on c!dream and the revolution
(aka: holy shit this is going to be a bit of a mess but hopefully something in here is coherent) 
c!Dream and the L’manburg Revolution has weeeeeell kind of been talked to death, but that’s not for no reason. The L’manburg Revolution has a huge impact on the entire story for the rest of the timeline and a huge impact on c!Dream in particular--he himself references the final deal for the discs quite a few times just on his own in later parts of the timeline, not to mention the entirety of inconsolable differences being a callback to the revolution (and to vassal, but everything’s a callback to vassal when you have dream, tommy, and wilbur in a room.) The Revolution is what forms the foundation of the L’manburg mythos which then forms the foundation of so many conflicts in the server--especially involving c!Dream, as L’manburg’s villain-tyrant-monster-lizard-snake-thing in particular. 
Even so, a lot of people tend to have a lot of different opinions on c!Dream’s motivations during the Revolution. This post is meant to be an exploration of my thoughts on the matter (forgive me for the lack of actual timestamped sources I’m lazy) especially regarding three main points:
1. c!Dream had specific in-universe reasons for going against L’manburg that are referenced before the revolution and after it 
 2. c!Dream went to war with L’manburg because he largely thought that it was inevitable 
 3. c!Dream went into the war with L’manburg knowing that he would concede to c!Wilbur in the end and give them what they wanted
To start with point 1), I’ve seen it pretty commonly asserted that c!Dream didn’t actually have a particular reason to fight in the Revolution in-universe and his actions can be explained away by the ccs/actors knowing that an actual war would be the best For Content. And while I agree that the “for content” angle is an important angle to consider when we speak about this conflict, especially considering the roleplay as it would come to exist wasn’t really as established of a construct yet, to say that c!Dream had no in-universe motivations at all is...a gross oversimplification, especially when these people are often the same ones that I see taking L’manburg’s stated motivations of Peace and Freedom and Liberation at face value. 
I think there's a lot of debate on a lot of different factors surrounding the revolution, but I also think it's important to consider that like, while obviously the rp wasn't quite as developed at that point in time, that doesn't mean that c!Dream was played as a character without any motivation at all. For example, in that first conversation between c!Dream and c!Wilbur [x], I think it's important to note that c!Dream 1. expresses doubt abt c!Wilbur's whole schtick with L’manburg and DOES seem genuinely peeved by c!Wilbur's arbitrary rule setting and whole "we're doing this against tyranny" deal, even though he does make a pretty deliberate point of FOLLOWING the rules that wilbur sets (until he breaks one (1) leaf block as an expression of rebellion, which is in itself very interesting) and 2. very deliberately calls out c!Wilbur's whole L’manburg deal as something he's unsure of as being something that the people in L’manburg actually want and agree with--see his asking c!Tommy and c!Tubbo if they actually want to “totally break off from the SMP and are okay with L’manburg and never leaving L’manburg again”, as c!Wilbur had just stated (paraphrased, but anyway), and then obviously taking note of both c!Tommy and c!Tubbo's doubt afterwards.
From the very beginning of L’manburg's conception, I think it's fair to say that c!Dream has Visible Doubts about c!Wilbur's whole schtick that served as a foundation of its creation. Were those ideological differences the sole driving force behind his decision to go to war? No, absolutely not. c!Dream was not fighting the revolution just in an effort to idk, ~save~ the L’manburgians or anything I’m not trying to say that. but c!Dream does, from the very beginning, take issue with the specific division that c!Wilbur created. He prods at c!Wilbur's claims about a separate server with separate rules. He specifically asks if c!Tommy and c!Tubbo are okay with "L’manburg and only L’manburg" as c!Wilbur seemed to be implying was all they needed. He STARTS the conversation considerably more lighthearted than at its end--the first thing he says about L’manburg is a fucking dick joke, for god's sake. There's even something you can say about c!Wilbur making rules and then SHOWING dream that the rules are arbitrary, because before dream makes a deliberate Point of breaking the leaf block to symbolize his irritation with L’manburg's rule setting and the whole idea of L’manburg in the first place, c!Wilbur states that they really respect the foliage of the place and want not a single block out of place while breaking leaves himself! 
And of course, we all know about the table speech. There are arguments to be made about server ownership and entitlement that have been discussed before and could be touched on here, but once again--c!Dream's issue was about the division created. Not the usage of the table (or, on the server, the land) but the claiming of it as someplace “Separate.” When he expresses that everyone can use the table, he's not against the idea of individual or community ownership in itself, as can be clearly seen by the amount of properties on the server that belonged to one or more people. However, what he WAS against was the idea of people claiming a piece of land as their as in, their server, which meant that they could set whatever rules they wanted on it no matter the detriment to other people on the server. which is exactly what was done in L’manburg. It wasn't about the ownership, it was about claiming a part of a house As Their Own House because by stating that L’manburg was a "separate" server, they could also come up with whatever rules they wanted. such as pvp-is-off-so-take-off-your-armor, and you're-not-in-the-whitelist, etc. 
And like, again. I think people can have different perspectives and opinions on the table speech and how right he was and whatever, but like the table speech was NOT long after the revolution, and dream made it plenty clear that people could use the land at will before L’manburg’s creation. Hell, AFTER the revolution people could still y’know, kinda use the land at will, when he could've (according to c!Wilbur's original plans and words) restricted L’manburgians from leaving L’manburg. And again this is explicit--c!Dream says it himself to c!Skeppy in the table speech, and we see how everyone was using the land however they wanted at this point in time as well. 
And i think like, later on, when the characters are more established, every time c!Dream talks abt L’manburg makes it pretty clear that he was fighting abt it for more reasons than just "well he felt like fighting shit." He clearly dislikes L’manburg and disagreed with the division it created fundamentally. Obviously, the way you interpret all of this can be pretty different ,, but I think it's always been pretty clear that c!Dream does like. Disagree with L’manburg from the very beginning at the very least, and that goes into his decision to eventually go to war with the place.
Still, though, I don’t think these ideological differences are the most important reasoning behind his decision to fight in the Revolution in the first place. Which brings me to point 2), which is to say...from c!Dream’s perspective, honestly, war felt pretty goddamn inevitable?
From c!Dream’s perspective, he had no reason to believe that L’manburg wasn’t gunning for war. Honestly, he has every reason to believe the opposite? The FIRST time he interacted with L’manburg it was to c!Wilbur goading c!Tommy to shout “war words” at him. They were dressed in army uniforms. The entire side of L’manburg was allegedly built on a foundation of opposing c!Dream. They clearly didn’t shy away from conflict, considering their actions the day before had been basically trying their best to scam the shit out of people on the server and ending up chased down for their efforts. The ideals of L’manburg being this idea of like, Injustice and Freedom and Liberation From Oppression does not paint the idea of them being like willing to patiently come to a compromise or engage c!Dream in good faith like, at all. When c!Dream actually comes to L’manburg to try and have a discussion, c!Wilbur makes it plenty clear that compromise isn’t going to be an option, acts like L’manburg’s legitimacy is an assured thing, uses his act of legitimacy to impose on c!Dream’s behavior (mostly by inventing all kinds of arbitrary rules for him to follow until the ‘don’t touch our foliage’ makes him lose his patience and leave). None of this suggests any willingness for L’manburg to actually make concessions or compromise. 
And that, in itself, limits c!Dream’s options. If he concedes, then he’s folding to external pressure without putting up a fight, which sets a precedent. Again, from his perspective, c!Wilbur is a total stranger! He’s this guy that he’s literally never met before that managed to turn half of c!Dream’s server--as in, friends and acquaintances and neighbors--against him in a “country” that is explicitly founded in opposition against c!Dream by someone he knows nothing about. A country that has framed itself as existing directly against what c!Dream wants, has referred to him as a tyrant, and has turned this idea of fighting against him into a moral issue--limiting their willingness to backdown or compromise in any way whatsoever. No matter whether or not c!Wilbur was actually gunning for war, c!Dream had every reason to think that that was the intention--they wrote a Declaration of Independ(a)nce, for god’s sake. Obviously this is getting meta but if they’re making relentless comparisons to Hamilton Act I which is...entirely about a war, that’s hardly a point in favor for them actually just wanting to sit down at a table with some tea to talk things out. (Not to mention how they run onto DreamSMP land to attack c!Alyssa as a unit like, right after all of this.) 
As far as c!Dream is concerned, giving L’manburg what they want at this point without putting up a fight, just rolling over and showing his belly to their every demand is...dangerous? He’s facing a group of people that include people that, again, he’s lived with for months who have suddenly decided that standing against him is some kind of moral statement, who are slandering him and calling him a tyrant. He’s being talked about like some kind of dragon to slay--of course he’s not particularly inclined to just give them what they want. The Revolution establishes DreamSMP as people you don’t want to fight. c!Dream establishes himself as someone that you should think twice about antagonizing. And we know this works because c!Wilbur does get more cautious after the Revolution--he’s not quite as willing to go against c!Dream as directly as he was when he literally showed up out of nowhere to call c!Dream a tyrant. Through the Revolution, c!Dream successfully discourages another war in the future by making it too costly for L’manburg to pursue the next time they want something out of DreamSMP (which wouldn’t necessarily be the case if he just conceded the first time around, considering as far as c!Dream is concerned, L’manburg’s initial reaction to wanting something w/ their whole “independence” schtick was to make war preparations). Instead of seeming like a pushover, which in his mind possibly could’ve emboldened c!Wilbur further, he establishes himself as someone fair (see: his insisting on listening to L’manburg’s rules even during the literal war, not entering into L’manburg’s borders to plant the TNT, something they both concede, as well as during the intimidation campaign w/ c!Sapnap) but intimidating as an opponent. 
All of that being said, though, it’s worth considering that c!Dream does, in effect, give L’manburg what they want in the end. Which is part of what I want to consider with my final point here: c!Dream always knew that he was going to give L’manburg independence. 
And this is a fact! We know this because during the preparations for the war, in Punz’s L’manburg Revolution videos, we see c!Dream stating that he will give L’manburg technical independence before the war even begins. Which i find. Fascinating. Because like obviously given c!Dream's strategic ability (final control room + just general preparation wise), obviously Dream SMP was at a great advantage. (Interestingly enough, I will NOT actually argue that PVPwise they actually outranked L’manburg by THAT much. When the war was declared, it was actually a 3v5, considering c!Eret had not yet defected and c!George had not yet joined DreamSMP's side. This was at the same general time where c!Fundy and c!Sapnap, who would later be a formidable opponent against Dream and Technoblade alike, were about evenly matched in a PVP duel! Like DreamSMP would've still likely panned out on top in terms of straight up PVP, but it would've been a much closer battle with a much higher chance of loss of life on the DreamSMP side.)
On that same note, i think it's interesting to note (if you watch Punz's pov of the revolution videos) HOW CONCERNED c!dream was the ENTIRE time for any losses on his side. Like this guy was freaking out if someone on the DreamSMP like got hit by an arrow kind of concerned. He was worried about c!Eret in the crossfire of the final control room. Honestly speaking, he probably lost more hearts from that goddamn poison pot than like the entirety of the DreamSMP side during the war. L’manburg was during a time where Tubbo and Tommy could reasonably defeat Dream in a 1v2, given certain situations, and there was that whole Dream versus Tommy, Tubbo, and Sapnap 1v3--but that's when Dream way outgeared them and he WAS worn down and DID lose.
(Compare to like much later on where Dream could like 50/50 1v3 people in full diamond with nothing but an axe and shield.)
And whether or not L’manburg actually like, could’ve outgeared or outpvped DreamSMP (which. I mean. Like, c!Tubbo had villagers--from experience, it really doesn’t take that long to get decent enchants + gear from villagers even if you’re just one person, just go to town on a bunch of trees for a couple hours), the idea of L’manburg as a threat doesn’t even matter as much as whether or not c!Dream saw them as a threat. I feel like I’ve seen a lot of opinions on this matter that boil down to “well clearly L’manburg wasn’t a threat so clearly c!Dream didn’t see them as one so clearly fighting L’manburg was just about killing people for his own ego” which...absolutely contradicts how c!Dream himself faces this conflict. I think it's fair to say that based on his words and actions, c!Dream did see them as a significant threat to his/his friends' safety in the war. He has backup plans upon backup plans, he's very anxious about the DreamSMP side’s health bars throughout the revolution, he specifically worries about them losing health and dying in the final control room like. Many times.
All of that being said, c!Dream goes into the Revolution knowing that he'll have to grant L’manburg independence, specifically because he knows they wont give up. He says this very explicitly. And like, I think it's like. again. Important to note that c!Dream could've like forced L’manburg into a corner by like idk repeatedly spawnkilling them, or sieging them, until they give into his commands or whatever right. Like it was a war. He definitely could've forced them to surrender on his terms.
HOWEVER, what we actually see is c!Dream repeatedly calling them to surrender at like every possible turn. Before the war, during it, whatever. White flags was an obvious attempt to intimidate, but at the same time you can only demand someone to surrender so many times before you're showing your hand.
And it’s like--war, when you boil it down a Lot, is basically an extended game of chicken. This is very oversimplified, but at the end of the day what matters is that you have to decide how far you're willing to go and how far the other side is willing to go and figure out if you're willing to accept the necessary losses. And it's also important to note that from c!Dream's perspective, L’manburg was never going to give up.
Whether or not that is true is once again, debatable. But from c!Dream's perspective WE CAN SEE that c!Dream thinks that c!Wilbur + co. were never going to give up. With the retroactive addition of canon lives then yeah you could probably state that c!dream thought that they were going to keep going even if it permakilled them. c!Wilbur makes the "we would rather die" speech after the final control room. Obviously retroactively applying things like canon lives gets finicky (and believe me, I DONT LIKE IT EITHER,) but if you're going to retroactively apply the final control room as killing all of L’manburg in order to essentially end the conflict in one blow instead of simply removing their gear as was the explicit goal of that ambush, then yeah, I think it's fair to apply the same statement of canon lives and their full ramifications on what c!Wilbur says here as well. c!Dream enters a war he knows that he will, by a matter of speaking, lose--because at the end of the day, he wasn't willing to go as far as L’manburg., From his point of view. he was not willing to keep the war going when lmanburg was, because L’manburg stated that they wouldn't give up (and he PREDICTED they would state that they wouldn't give up) no matter what the cost. 
So he very literally puts his life on the line (when doing so shouldn't have been necessary otherwise because like, he was winning the war) because he was willing to end the conflict at a great personal cost to himself. Why? Why would c!Dream decide to risk his life to participate in a duel that could literally nullify EVERYTHING he did so far in an instant in the war by literally granting L’manburg independence? And then, after winning the duel, why grant L’manburg independence anyway? If tommy won that duel (which he EASILY could've -- it was a 1v1 bow duel when both people were one-shot), then L’manburg would've won the war. Hell, EVEN AFTER THEY LOST THE DUEL, they stated they won the war for a long time. c!Dream could've fucking annihilated them!! They had no supplies. Why grant them "technical independence" ??
Like, what, all of this for the discs? The discs really did not matter that much at that point in time--the disc war had been over, for god’s sake-- and c!Tommy would literally blackmail him to steal ‘em back like less than a month later. And, like, there was really nothing stopping him from demanding the discs as reparations for the war anyway. What was L’manburg gonna do if he just enforced the borders and kept killing them unless they gave him shit yk? L’manburg got soundly beat in a war! c!Dream had no reason to put his own goddamn life on the line to give them A POTENTIAL SHOT AT VICTORY. 
The only reasoning that makes sense for c!Dream here is the reasoning he himself gives for basically every decision he makes in this war, from the demands to surrender to the Final Control Room to the agreeing to the duel to the granting them technical independence for the discs even after c!Tommy lost the duel. And that’s that he knew that they wouldn’t give up. Before the war began, c!Dream knew that he would have to give them independence. At the time, the justification was likely along the lines of well, he couldn’t permanently kill them because it’s MINECRAFT, so they would’ve just kept dragging the conflict out until he gave in. With the retroactive addition of canon lives, though, his hesitance reads much more along the lines of being generally unwilling to go through with killing L’manburg entirely during the war, which demanded that he make the concession of giving them what they wanted. 
And, again, this is all from c!Dream's perspective. Whether or not all of this is like, True objectively is a different matter. Would L’manburg have surrendered if he didn't give them a way out and kept pressing? Would c!Wilbur have stopped before everyone on his side lost all their canon lives? Maybe. But from c!Dream's perspective, the only way to end it was to grant them the independence they wanted (even you know, in the bastardized form that it was, not that it mattered because L’manburg ended up being treated as an entirely independent and separate entity ANYWAY but I digress).
So that's what he did.
And, of course, this paved the way for the rest of the story. The mythos of L’manburg was established. It all goes back to these decisions on both sides, in a lot of ways--the discs, c!Tommy and c!Dream and the duel on the path, c!Wilbur overseeing, heroes and villains and revolutions and tyrants. In a lot of ways, this is where things began to unravel, this is the story that would take until the (c!discduo) Finale to address and dismantle. c!Dream’s reasonings behind his decisions in the Revolution are logical, complex, and consistent with his character and motivations--and they’re also, in a lot of ways, his undoing. 
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mamawasatesttube · 7 months ago
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man im out with a cold again and i was like "i think since i am just chilling at home today anyways i will write :)" but dude. what do supergiant put in their games. i am not writing i am in gamer town
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ningtual · 9 months ago
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oh i'm gonna be so annoying about this album..... i even took notes while listening to this just now...
#first of all supernova i'm gonna be so annoying abt that song i can feel it in my bones the instrumental is crazy the vocal layering is#making me ascend to the sky fr i LOOOOVEEE this sound for them and i can't wait to hear it in full!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#next set the tone actually a great sound for an aespa beside structurally it reminds me of the savage bsides like i'll make you cry or even#iconic but yeah she's soooo aespa to me and i love it too#then mine instantly put it as one of my favorites already bc LISTENNNNNNN darkspa i love you so much i love this salty&sweet darker prettie#and sluttier sister and s&s was already all of that omfg#next licorice the BASSSSS are we hearing her??????? INSANE and again aespa and their heavenly vocal layering i just can't i'm foaming at th#mouth as i'm typing this i'm so serious#okay to the fun songs bahama is gonna be my feel good summer beach vibe jam i already know it and if better thing wouldve gotten an album#she wouldve been on there. perfect summer sound#long chat too she sounds really cute maybe not as memorable to be as bahama or even live my life but DAMN i love a good upbeat track#prologue feels like a little interlude to me and the BABY IM A WEIRDO :D I KNOW ! was so silly sdjfksjfdf plsssss but a cute sound overall#live my life TURN THAT SHIT UPPPPPPPPPP the most cheery track and i'm strapped in to listen to it until i die. also an eri track to me#melody ahhh my reve daughters ik they would be proud of this song it's sounds very beautiful already#much more up my alley than their previous ballads ngl#in conclusion i'm gonna be the most annoying person on the dash once all these songs are revealed to the public and#i am already sosososososososo in love with this album what the FACK#000
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stardial · 7 months ago
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birthday tomorrow……
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3416 · 2 years ago
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maple leafs forever
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courtillyy · 2 months ago
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I went through my previous bingo and found two interesting ships
Chilled/Speedy
Platy/Tay
...
Also, what about Impulse/Skizz?
I have just the smallest obsession since the crossover
ty for sending more in !!! <3
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chilled x speedy. wow holy shit i was not expecting an almost bingo from these two. tbh when i first was getting into this group i was pretty much only a chilled watcher and i def had a soft spot for these two - that has mostly died down but they do have a rly engaging friendship and plus they def have fucked.
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platy x tay. weirdos !!! i in no way romantically ship them - i also think if they tried to have sex it would be so intensely bad that tay would make fun of him forever even tho it rly wasnt any one persons fault. dude theyre both such assholes and thats why i love them. they both have such strong personalities that often when they have a good dynamic with someone its v based on what one of them makes it but two of them together bounce of each other fkn perfectly.
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impulse x skizz. i like them !! the dad yaoi is strong and i only have respect for it. i dont have too many strong opinions or thoughts other than that bc i dont rly watch either of them, idk theyre just not quite my vibe !! but theyre nice !! and loving and i just love best friends who have been doing everything together for ages and want to continue forever and thats v them <3
send me ships !!!
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foursidecity · 2 months ago
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THEY DID WHAT TO THE YOUNG AVENGERS
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izzy-b-hands · 2 months ago
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I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs
(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)
That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)
#text post#not going to get into the other painful smack of this morning#suffice to say that medicaid does not in fact fully cover vocal therapy/training for trans ppl#even if ur docs feel incredibly certain it is#if i was making a decent bit over minimum wage at consistent hours and already had my current debts paid off mostly#then I'd happily consider paying the chunk Medicaid won't cover but as of now#it would literally be basically two paychecks if not three to cover the estimate for this first visit#and that's only if the poll would have us polling every week like we did before the election#otherwise we're guesstimating it would be upwards of 4 paychecks to cover it#I'm actually gonna get into in here bc nobody reads all my tag essays (fair valid and correct)#im really sad abt this. my voice gets me clocked a lot and while i can mostly handle like. visually being clocked#my voice giving me away genuinely makes me feel a pain in my chest. i can't get my customer service voice to go lower yet#and even if it's my usual voice I've made minimal progress on my own self done vocal study stuff#so like. no one knows how high it was compared to how it is now tho so no one actually hears it as anything near deep#which it isn't but like. there's been a slightly barely there drop of it per at least a couple ppl in my life#i was probably going to be able to learn how to sing again and find my new range. I'd fix my customer service voice#even if it would only ever be a teeny bit lower than how it is now. it would be lovely#im not gonna get too down tho bc someday hopefully I'll be able to make it happen/afford it#and for now...im doing the bad thing of not cancelling the appt yet#i will bc they're booking out for months and it isn't right of me to take a spot i know i can't keep#but. let me pretend i can for another day or two. maybe until monday. then I'll call or msg them on mychart#and let them know i just don't have the funds rn tho i do deeply appreciate that Medicaid at least pays part of it#im just not at a point where i can cover the rest but that I'll reschedule/have a new referral sent whenever that changes#...and hopefully things in this country will be of such a state that such care is still available to ppl like me.#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this#(im fine the med side effects have me crying over everything lol i see a sad commercial and Instant Tears like someone died lmaooo)
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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truly incredible gig tn atmosphere was stunning and also I was stood almost just behind maybe The most handsome butch I have ever seen in my life im not even exaggerating and they were also there alone (VERY rare at this show) and we made eye contact like twice bc they turned around a couple times and as I was leaving I realised they were suddenly right next to me and then I lost them in thr crowd!!!!! and im kicking myself so fucking hard bc I so badly wanted to catch them just to tell them I've never seen someone so gorgeous in my entire life im stone cold sober btw just completely losing my mind. And there were prolly a couple thousand ppl it was so so busy coming out of the venue and ive already walked half the way home theres no chance I'll find them now but I still keep scanning people that pass me in case it's them. tearing my hair out coughing up blood I'll never forget u come back to me i need to shoot my shot pls.....
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itsalwaysdark · 3 months ago
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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pandorashearts · 2 years ago
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WAIT STOP SHUT UP IM REWATCHING THE FINAL TOTK TRAILER AND REALIZING HOW LIKE... GENUINELY BEAUTIFUL IT IS THAT LINK GETS TO FIGHT W THE DESCENDANTS ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS... HE SPENT THE ENTIRETY OF BOTW ALL BY HIMSELF... ALL ALONE... HE WAS PROBABLY SO LONELY... AND ONCE HE GOT HIS MEMORIES BACK HE PROBABLY FELT SO MUCH GUILT AND REGRET OVER NOT BEING ABLE TO FIGHT WITH THE CHAMPIONS TO SAVE THEM... BUT NOW HE GETS TO FIGHT ALONGSIDE THE DESCENDANTS AND JUST THE CITIZENS OF THE KINGDOM IN GENERAL.... AND PROTECT THEM.... IM ACTUALLY GOING TO FULL ON SOB... THE WAY THEY LITERALLY SAY ‘YOU ARE NOT ALONE’ IN THE TRAILER.... I WONT MAKE IT THROUGH THAT CUTSCENE WITHOUT BEING A COMPLETE WRECK I SWEAR
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