#gonna bake a black forest cake

[a-sleepy-ginger]

14/3/24

✿❈✿❈✿

Sweet potato chips

Got good letters for fridge Scrabble

Got some college work done

Talked with family

[blueberrybladelemonade]

Please Don't Hate Your Body, It's the Only Part of You I can Touch

Summary: Peppino has body image issues some days, today is one of them. You wish he'd see himself the way you did, you love him for who he is. Instead you decide to reassure and show him a little extra weight doesn't make him unattractive. In fact, you can't keep your hands off of him.

Contains: Body positivity, Noise being...himself (an asshole), Slight angst and comfort, belly rubs and gratuitous touchiness, somewhat suggestive (nothing inherently nsft though)

🫐This is not for people that are fatphobic or fetishizers of people of size. Please treat people as the individual that they are and deserving of respect regardless of their weight.🍋

Peppino stared down at the dessert with hesitation. Instead of taking a bite he prodded it with a fork, frowning. He suddenly became aware of how snug his shirt was around his stomach and the tightness at his sides.   

Usually Peppino could wave off the Noise's insults, though this time he was still replaying the comments from yesterday. 

"Hey-a italian man! If you're still struggling with bills you're so fat, you could probably sell shade. With how hot it is you'd make a fortune!" Noise laughs at his own joke before shoving another garlic knot in his mouth. 

"I'm not gonna sugar coat this for you, because if I did, you'd eat it. You're fat".

He didn't recall much else besides finally losing his temper at Noise, with Noisette having to intervene shortly after. 

"What Y/N sees in you is beyond me" Noise snapped back at Peppino as his girlfriend dragged him away. Noisette looked over her shoulder and shot Peppino an apologetic look.

Peppino shifted uncomfortably in the chair. He would tell himself that it's easy. If he hated the way he looked? Change it. He looked back down at the cake. 

Did you really want to eat that?

Of course he wanted to. It was one of his favorites, black forest cake. Earlier this week you had decided to bake and surprise Peppino with it. 

Peppino sighed and set the fork down next to the plate, nudging it away. Just as he was about to put the cake back into the fridge you stepped into the room. 

Maybe you'd want it instead, and he could pawn the dessert off on you.

"Do you want this?" He gestured to the plate that was now in the center of the table. Your eyes lit up and you smiled as you took the plate. "Thanks"! 

You plopped down on the chair and happily dug into the cake. After a second bite your eyes dart up to meet his with a questioning look. "Aren't you going to have some?" You ask through a mouthful.

He tried to not let his discomfort show on his face as he forced a smile through gritted teeth. 

"Oh, I'm not-a hungry cara".

You watch with a raised eyebrow as Peppino stood up and left the room. After a moment you hear a door click shut. 

Was he just going to get a shower and go straight to bed again? 

You stared down at the now empty plate in thought, recalling his odd behavior last night. 

In bed he had his back turned to you, which wasn't uncommon. The part that nagged at you was his reaction when you draped an arm across his stomach, like you always did. Peppino seemed to shy away from your touch and as your fingers traced circles against him, he abruptly -but gently- took your hand in his and moved it away from his body. 

Now that you thought about it, Peppino didn't eat much for dinner yesterday either. He simply ate what had been on his plate with a similar dejected expression, like today. 

* * * * *

Water dripped onto the tile and mat as Peppino dried off, eyes averted from the mirror. Again. He grimaced as he bent over and slipped into his night pants. In his peripheral his reflection silently mimicked the action. 

He sighed. Despite his best attempt to avoid it, Peppino slowly drew his full attention to the mirror. Tired eyes stared at his thinning hair. No matter how much fumbling he did with it nothing would ever cover it. 

Reluctantly his eyes drifted lower to his gut. What did you see in him? His lips formed a thin line. 

Maybe he doesn't deserve the nice things he has. You deserved someone better. Someone skinnier. He wouldn't skip meals but he should stop eating sweets. Peppino gingerly poked at his side. He should cut down on how much he ate, too. 

Food was a sort of comfort for him, particularly when he was stressed, which felt like all the time. Between this and his medication he should've expected to get fat.

But what are you doing about it?  

You were always there for him regardless. Always telling him everything was ok. The least he could do for you is look better, more-

Peppino's thoughts were cut off as he felt arms wrap around his middle and a familiar weight press into his back. You smiled softly in return when his eyes met yours in the mirror. 

"I love you." You whisper, pulling him into a hug. 

He felt your hands wander across his body, your hands slid up to his chest before coming back down to run your hands across his abdomen. For a moment Peppino let himself enjoy your touch. Enjoy how soothing it was as your hands caressed him. Your breath tickled as you peppered kisses against the back of his neck and shoulders. 

Then he caught a glimpse in the mirror. There was that sinking feeling again. Peppino tore his gaze from yours and looked down at the counter. He wouldn't be able to cut out the excess calories, would he? He was going to break any day-

"Whatcha thinking about Pino?" You mumble as you rest your chin on his shoulder. He sighed.  

"You've been acting out of it." You press another kiss into the side of his neck and jaw, "What's wrong"?

"What do you see in me?" He blurted out, "Aren't you disgusted that I'm just-a balding fat man"?

Silence. 

You pull away from him, expression unreadable. Peppino could feel the faintest trace of tears prickling in his eyes.

Damn it why can't I just get it together.

Was this it? Did you finally realize he was just a broken and pathetic looking slob? 

You tug at his arm, urging him to follow you. As you guide Peppino to the bed, you motion for him to sit down. Listlessly he obeys, sinking down onto the comforter, watching as you sit beside him. 

"Peppino, don't ever say that about yourself again. There's nothing wrong with you having a little extra weight-"

"A little?" He retorted. "I d-"

"Peppino..." You shot him a look, the tone in your voice causing his words to catch in his throat. 

"How about, instead, we think of the positives?"

"What?" Peppino huffed, "What positives could you see in this?" he gestured to his gut and shot you an incredulous look. 

"Stop." you reply firmly, taking his hand in yours, before guiding it back to his side. You give him a quick peck on the cheek.

After a moment seemingly lost in thought, your face brightened. "Well let's see, for one, you're soft".

Peppino shot you a deadpan look. "Really, cara? I don't see how that's a positive".

"But it is." Your hands gently began stroking and caressing the rolls at his hips and sides. Peppino weakly tried to push your hands away but you simply shushed his protests and pressed a kiss to his chest. "Your so perfect to snuggle against, you make the ideal pillow. If you were thin or muscular you wouldn't be nearly as nice, or as comfortable to sleep on".

You dip your head lower, trailing light kisses down his stomach. In response Peppino leaned back, propping himself up against the pillows. He shuddered as you lips grazed against his body before drifting to his side.

"Falling asleep on you is the best. I feel so safe with you". You whisper, wrapping yours arms around his midsection. As you rest the side of your face against him, Peppino laid back into the bed and draped his arms across you. A faint shimmer caught your attention before you placed another kiss against a stretch mark.  

"Listening to your heart beat and breathing lets me know you're alive. There's nothing I'd rather fall asleep to. And you being so soft makes it the perfect place for my head to do it".

You press a kiss to his stomach that he hated so much. "You're gorgeous, Pino." You murmur, slowly tracing circles against him. 

Peppino remained silent as he watched you with half lidded eyes.

Peppino knew you loved him, that much was obvious. What he needed, instead, was to know you were attracted to him, to feel desired. 

"No matter how long we've been together, my heart still skips a beat when I see you take your shirt off".

Peppino gave you a quizzical look. Before he could say anything you used one hand to pull his head to face you while the other stroked his cheek. You placed your lips against his, enjoying the warmth radiating from his skin. 

As you leaned into and pushed him back down into the mattress you feel his breathing hitch. Laying on top of Peppino, you were almost purring from his warmth, his scent, and the softness of him. 

As you pull away you smile down at him before readjusting your legs to straddle him. 

"I love you no matter what shape you're in, not what people say is "ideal". You're ideal as you are". 

Slowly but deeply you pressed your hands into his belly and rubbed. Peppino made a small gasping noise as you continued to knead at his body. It felt good, just as good as the back massages you always gave him. 

“Mmh,” he involuntarily groaned as your hands grabbed at the curves above his hips. 

“Does that feel nice?"

“Yeah." Peppino whispered back, sounding dreamily content as he melted into your touch. 

As Peppino looked up to see the delight on your face. Maybe he was being too hard on himself.

"I love every part of you" You leaned over, placing a kiss on his forehead. Peppino shuddered as your lips brushed against his ear. 

"Let me show you how much I love you. All of you".

[christinescupofcoffee]

Midnight Oil

Chapter Four: Death By Chocolate

The train ride was a pleasant one, and Alex helped himself to two plates of pain au chocolat once the parlor cart rolled up to their compartment. He leaned back with one plate placed on the seat next to him and the other plate rested upon his lap; there was also an array of fresh fruit that he simply could not find back home in the United States, and he took a plate for himself. Christian helped himself to that as well as a small slice of the lush Black Forest cake on the bottom shelf of the cart; Alex closed his eyes and took in a whiff of the cherry and kirsch embedded in the slice of cake rested upon his lap: the smell of decadence and indulgence, the kind of smell that he wanted to pick up for himself in this time.

Two cups of coffee despite having had cups of tea prior to their departure, and they were left in the compartment once again, to which Alex couldn’t help but laugh to himself.

“What’s so funny?” Christian asked him, and he couldn’t resist the smile on his face.

“If I stay here too long, I’m gonna get so fat,” Alex decreed with his mouth full of flaky pastry.

“Not necessarily,” Christian assured him. “As long as you and I stay active, you won’t even gain a pound.”

“Is that why you guys eat so much and yet you stay so slender?”

“Precisely why. In fact, that’s why people in Italy eat as much as they do but they maintain their lovely figures.” Alex hooded his eyes at the sound of that, and more so when he thought back to the fantasy he had had beforehand. He knew he was going to tell Christian about it, but there had to be the best time for it: you don’t throw something like in a conversation about socks unless the socks had something to do with the act itself.

“We are headed for a place that I like to call ‘Café au Sol’, except it’s not a cafe,” Christian explained.

“Why do you call it ‘cafe’ then?”

“To fool people,” he replied. “There actually is a cafe right next door there, but we go to the place next door. It is a place with a mosaic front door that looks as though it is only for show, but it’s a legitimate door.”

“So, you just call it ‘cafe’, it’s not a legitimate place,” Alex followed as he took another bite of pastry.

“It is legitimate, just not a legitimate cafe.”

“And what’s the cafe called? The cafe next door?”

“‘Cafe au Prince’,” Christian replied.

“So you call it ‘Café au Sol’ but it’s not a cafe and it’s next door to an actual cafe named for a prince,” Alex followed along.

“Yes.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you call it ‘Café au Sol’, though.”

“We are the sun and they are the royal ones,” Christian quipped with a slight wag of the finger.

“But hang on, wouldn’t we be the royal ones?” Alex pointed out as he popped the last bite of pain au chocolat into his mouth. “We’re the sun. The sun rises high over the golden and copper crowns in a golden crown all on its own.”

“True, but remember: the prince is the one who rules over the land. The sun is actually second in line to the throne.”

Alex squinted his eyes at that, but in a way, it made sense when he thought about it for a second. He picked up the next plate of pastry and began on it: despite having eaten before the train ride, he still had yet to eat until he was completely full.

“Ironic,” Christian remarked as he sipped on his coffee.

“What’s ironic?”

“You seemed so reticent about having pastries and all manner of baked goods over here in Europe,” he replied, “and yet you are scarfing them up as if you haven’t eaten in years.”

“Let’s just say that the breakup has given me a new zest for life,” Alex explained. “Sometimes I have to have a seat and sit with my feelings, and then when I’m done, I have to rebuild.”

“That is all you have to do,” Christian assured him. “Lick your wounds and then lick what makes you happy.”

“Does that include guitar licks?”

“If you would like for it to,” Christian replied with a shrug and another sip of coffee. He then turned to the sourdough toast accompanied with butter and fresh strawberries next to him. “Care for a strawberry?”

“I’ve got some over here,” Alex said, and he showed him the little white plate with the fresh strawberries, as red and ripe as they possibly could be. But first, there was the manner of pastry at hand: the taste and caress of chocolate before he moved onto the tangy bite of the berries right next to him.

“So, when do we go back to Cologne?” Alex asked him once he swallowed down the bite of pastry.

“In a couple of days,” Christian promised him with a nod of his head. “We are going to be there as well, so… I shall join you on the ride back.” He flashed him a wink, wherein Alex showed him a smirk in return. He sloughed off another bite of the pastry and popped it into his mouth.

“God… this is so delicious,” he said in a low voice. “It’s not nearly as sweet as one would expect across the pond.”

“We do not use as much sugar over here, sugar cane,” Christian stated with a slight twinkle in his eye.

“Sugar cane? Is that what you called me?” Alex chuckled at that with his mouth full.

“Yes, because you are sweet and sticky like an actual sugar cane,” Christian explained.

“Sticky… sticky like my kingdom of come,” he quipped once he swallowed it down and prepared to take another bite.

“The kingdom of come which of course manifested back when they banned missionary over here,” he said, and Alex lifted his gaze from the pastry, and Christian chuckled at that.

“They banned missionary?” Alex asked with his mouth full.

“No, I just said that to see if you were paying attention. They did however ban public masturbation.”

“God damn it.” And Christian cackled at that, complete with a clap of his hands. He then turned to the sourdough and the strawberries, the former of which Alex could see had a faint dusting of cinnamon over the top.

“A little bit of cinnamon for the cinnamon boy,” Christian declared; Alex looked over at him with a raise of his eyebrow.

“Sugar cane, cinnamon boy… I feel you have a full arsenal of nicknames for me,” he said.

“No, no, I am the cinnamon boy,” Christian corrected him.

“You’re the cinnamon boy?” Alex couldn’t help but smile at that.

“Sugar cane and the cinnamon boy,” Christian decreed. “Sounds like a comic.”

“A gay one at that,” Alex chided, and Christian laughed again.

The two of them fell back into comfortable silence, complete with the clanking and clattering and gentle swaying of the train around them, and they continued to indulge on their food, at least until the lush countryside right outside of the train gave way to the next couple of stops, and both of them knew that Saärbrucken was upon them. The tiny villages dotted about the horizon at the rim of the Ardennes Forest all made Alex think of gingerbread, fresh out of the oven, and then decorated with sugar plums and all things sweet and fresh. Everything was all fresh and moist: even if there was sugar added to the recipe, it nourished him in ways that he could not seem to find back home in the States.

Indeed, he thought of gingerbread some more when the train slowed down for the next stop in Saärbrucken. The meandering river glittered under the morning sun and the cathedral rose up over the landscape as if they had entered candyland.

“So, where is this place?” Alex asked as he licked his fingers clean of the extraneous juice from the strawberries: at that point, he was feeling comfortable from the amount of food that he had eaten since they had woken up and picked themselves off the grass below the cathedral back in Cologne.

“I will show you,” Christian vowed with a nod and a flash of his eyebrows.

The train came to a halt, and they picked up their things and filed out of the train to the pristine platform bathed in that golden German sunlight. Alex stood outside first, and he ran his fingers through his black curls, complete with a brief flash of his gray roots. Something about the city made him not only think of gingerbread but of more and more pastry.

“We are actually not too far from the border of France,” Christian told him as he gathered himself right next to him. “In fact, tomorrow—after we have settled into our little hideaway from the rest of the world—we can go to the border if you would like.”

“To the border and then somewhere in there over to Stalag Luft III,” Alex stated. “And then we begin the tour.”

“We begin the tour, complete with all of the scrumptious goods that you could ever ask for,” Christian vowed to him with a slight gesture of his hand. “Although I am not sure that we can do Stalag Luft III unless we make a mad dash over to Poland from here. Either way, I vow to take you there.” He then gestured for Alex to follow him to the heart of the train station to check in.

Once out to the street again, they began the walk up the block lined with the clear and straight buildings which seemed to be made of pure gold. At one point, Alex could feel Christian’s fingers creeping around the side of his hand, which in turn sent a deep shiver up his spine. He flashed Christian a knowing glance as he knew they could do just that and no one on the street would ask them any stupid questions.

He let Christian link his hand around his once they had cleared the first crosswalk. The wounds on his heart notwithstanding, he was holding hands with someone and what better person than the wolf man right at his side. Alex licked his lips and took in the smell of confectionery from a row of bakeries off to the left side there.

To heal his wounds and come out the other side with the strongest of scar tissue.

At the end of the cobbled street stood a cafe with what appeared to be a crown of thorns on the square wooden sign painted a soft olive green: the words “cafe au Prince” were engraved and then painted black so they could see it from way down the block. Big green umbrellas dotted the outdoor patio out front, and Alex could already feel himself growing fuller and stronger by being around the hustle and bustle of the city and the cafe itself at lunchtime. Next to the edge of the outdoor patio stood a wooden door tucked back into a brick wall; once they had cleared the patio and the wooden door, Alex spotted the next door over, one decorated in a mosaic pattern of a sun paired with a crescent moon, a series of stars, and what appeared to be the arm of the Milky Way.

With a quick glimpse over his shoulder, Christian took out a key and unlocked the door for them. Behind the mosaic stood a corridor lined with more mosaics, however, these were much more elaborate and showcased what appeared to be a seascape, complete with coral, waves, and mermaids perched upon rocks.

“Welcome,” Christian decreed with his arms outstretched before him. Alex ran his fingers through his black curls as he let his eyes wander up the side of the main corridor into Café au Sol.

Despite it being nice and warm outside, the corridor itself was warm and cozy as if there was a foot of snow on the ground. Christian shut the door behind them, and Alex walked along the heavy dark wooden floor to the end, where he was met with a small room with a chaise lounge and a round queen-sized bed ensconced in crushed red velvet: a red tapestry draped over the head of the bed, and the mere sight of it left him with a feeling of butterflies in the middle of his stomach. In fact, the feeling was so strong that he rested a hand on his belly; Christian strolled on up next to him and gently patted him there.

“Feeling good and at home, I see,” he remarked, and Alex showed him a playful little smirk. He then let his eyes wander over to the heavy wooden bureau tucked in the far corner of the room, and he had a feeling he was going to frequent here more and more in the future.

“Hey, look at that,” Alex said, and he walked on over there, and he picked out the small sleek camera from the top of the bureau.

“You want some fun, don’t you?” Christian cracked a smile at him.

“You know it. In fact, when we were on our way here, I had a… a…”

“A what?” Christian inched closer to him, still with that smile on his face as if he was thinking about something as decadent and delicious as those pains au chocolats back on the train.

“A thought,” was all Alex could say, to which Christian responded with setting his things down on the floor by the foot of the bed and a run of his fingers through his platinum hair.

“What’re you doing?” Alex asked him.

“Allow me to get into costume, and then we shall get started,” he replied in a voice as soft and velvety as melted chocolate.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

(Image Description under the cut)

I don't know how legible this is going to be as images but, my weird experimental art-piece made up of 9 people telling me the story of Little Red Riding Hood! This was then significantly changed into something else so any typo issues. don't worry about it.

[ID: Three images of text on a black background. The piece is titled: "The Oral Tradition: Little Red Riding Hood: 9 Oral Retellings Of Little Red Riding Hood on One Page (with some asides)"

It begins with pink text, saying: “Little Red Riding Hood was a little girl who…I think lived with her Grandma because her parents were dead? Or, like, maybe they like worked in the city or something like that…so she lived with her grandma, and she really likes her grandma and then - No, sorry. Okay, here’s the story:”

White text tells the story, with grey and pink text around it giving alternate options and small asides, which will be transcribed in brackets:

END ID]

Little Red Riding Hood is a little girl (about 8?) who wore a red hooded (lovely, bright, fur-lined) cloak who lived with her mother (parents?) on the edge of the woods. She loved her Grandma very much. One day, little Red Riding Hood’s mother said to her:

“I’ve got a job for you to do! I want you to take this basket to your grandma who lives in the forest.” (“Hey, unsupervised, very young child, put on your red hood and here is a really nice basket full of sweet treats. Off you go.”)

Her mother warned her, “Don’t stray. Don’t stray from the path.” (Don’t do that. There’s…strange things in these dark woods. Don’t stray from the path! It’s the one thing I’m gonna tell you! Now on to Grandma’s. I’ll leave you alone in the woods. This will work out just fine.”)

“Okay.”

So, she goes into the woods. She was having a lovely time(skipping merrily along. singing a merry little tune) when out in front of her stepped a BIG BAD WOLF. (who scares her. zero stars). (She was scared of the big bad wolf, I think, because obviously that's this part of the story).

The Wolf says:

“Where are you going, little girl?”

“I’m going to visit my grandma in the middle of the wood.”

“And what’s in your basket?”

“Treats (Lots of sweet treats. Baked goods. Bread and wine. Produce. Lovely things like apples and cakes and bread.) for my grandma. Oh, but I think she could do with some flowers as well.”

“There are some over there,” said the Wolf. “Why don’t you go and pick them?”

She’s like, “What? I shouldn’t do that. This is a moral fable! I’m going to repeat the theme right now, which is that I should stray from the path, and I should listen to my mom. “

And he’s like, “No, it’ll be fine.” (“I’m a big old wolf. And I’m not scary at all. It’s gonna be good.”)

And so, Little Red Riding Hood left the path and started to pick some flowers (for like, an hour). While she was distracted, the Wolf sneaked into the house and gobbled up grandma completely!

Little Red Riding Hood goes to her grandma’s house. Her Grandma is in bed but looks really weird. (it’s a wolf disguised as her. Like, in the story, you don’t know that the instant she comes in, but like, as an adult that’s the...)

“Oh, Grandma! What big eyes you’ve got!”, she said.

“All the better to see you with, my dear.”

(There’s like sentences that everyone knows. Oh no, there’s a particular way to say it. I gotta remember.) (“Grandma, what a big mouth you have!” “It’s to kiss you better-” No, that’s not it…)

“Oh, Grandma! What big ears you’ve got!” she said

“Oh-ho-ho, my dear! All the better to hear you with.”

(and other things that are also really creepy)

“Oh, grandma! What big teeth you’ve got!”

“Oh-ho-oh, dear!! All the better to EAT YOU WITH!!!!”

(Little red riding hood screamed and screamed and screamed....)

And the wolf eats her.

(In another version there’s a hunter who kills the wolf. But that’s not in the story I know.)

[shinakkyo]

i baked a black forest cake!!!!!! it was so much fun omg \⁠(⁠๑⁠╹⁠◡⁠╹⁠๑⁠)⁠ﾉ im gonna finish decorating it tomorrow (i made some john wick & associates paper doll toppers that are ridiculously silly lol)

[redeemedgiantcol]

for the cake ask game i'll ask; battenberg and black forest cake! (also i just looked up what battenberg is and omg it looks pretty) (might make it lol)

Battenburg: What's your favourite sport?

None! I hate sports in general. It isn't that I don't think they're engaging, bc they are. I just.. I like playing, not watching. And if the rules and conditions are larger than what you can fit on one side of a sheet of paper, I'm probably not gonna be interested.

... I'll watch golf? It and tennis are not strenuous to watch.

Black forest cake: how much light do you like in the room when you are trying to fall asleep?

Not a lot, but I need something. Ambient hallway light works, but I have blueish crystalline glass lamps, as well as rock salt lights to use that are ambient and warm. 😀 😄

(I might just have 3 cakes to bake now :) )

[kookieswan]

Does the RL MC have any knowledge on cooking/baking? Ah. But let's say that she does. If she can, what food will she give individually to all her Nightmare patients? 🤍

She does! She’s not a master or anything but she does bake her own treats everyone once in a while like brownies or cookies and cooks meals when she can.

She made the pudding for Namjoon from scratch and actually really enjoyed doing so. (Will she be baking for Namjoon more in the future? Yes)

I’m gonna do cakes specifically because I have ideas. She’d make…

Hoseok a Black Forest Cake with whipped cream frosting.

Namjoon a chocolate truffle cake with lots of chocolate frosting teehee.

Yoongi a strawberry shortcake with buttercream/strawberry frosting.

Seokjin a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.

Jimin a lemon blueberry cake with cream cheese frosting.

[derriereunemasque]

tfw you’re sick in summer and feel hot but u cant tell if its because of the hot weather or if you got a fever so you just slowly die while being cooked from both inside and outside.

[isbus]

The Adventures of Otherworldly Cookie! (A X Reader story)

Tags

Everyone/Reader, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, One Shot Collection, Second Person POV, Fluff, Romance

Summary

A human falls into the world of Cookie Run: Kingdom!

Requests are open! Just specify which (MALE) cookie, the theme, etc! I will not be covering female cookies!

Rules Will Be Found at the End!

Chapter 1: Lost & Found

It was black, everything around you was dark. You heard faint voices as you struggled to open your eyes. Opening them was alike to baking the perfect cookie, but you managed. When you opened your eyes, you could see men, women, and other strange characters. "Huh..?" You were confused. When you blinked sometimes you saw cookie men and women, but other times you saw humans. You blinked out the tiredness, showing the true forms of the people.

"It looks like she's alive!" A man with white hair and a wizard costume looked at another with a smile.

The girl in a pink hoodie bopped him lightly. "That sounds rude, Winston!"

"As if bopping me isn't, Sarah?" The man known as Winston glared at her.

"Shut up, guys! She's awake!" A boy in a tuxedo jumped a little with his white fluffy hair and candy cane. "Hello, newly found cookie!" He shouts with a big smile.

You groaned when feeling your head pounding. "What happened..? Where am I?" You slowly spoke.

"Welcome to my kingdom! We found you in this dark forest filled with cake hounds!" The boy in the tuxedo held out his candy cane for you to grab. As soon as you did he pulled you up. You nearly fell back down due to your feeling of pains. "It looks like she's new here. Maybe she just barely escaped the witch!" He told Winston and Sarah. Your confusion was even more than the pain in your body. Why were the calling you a cookie? What's a cake hound? What even is this place?

Winston cut in. "On another note! What's your name new cookie?"

The only thing you could remember, your name. "[Y/N]. I have no idea what you mean about anything."

They laughed while you were serious. "Well, welcome to the kingdom, [Y/N]! I'm Greg- the bravest cookie! I think you heard about Sarah Berry, and Winston Magi, but Sarah is shy and WInston is a Wizard!" He laughs. "Would you like a tour?"

- One tour of the place later... -

"It's not much, but it will get better!" He says this, though the kingdom was lush and filled with the people known as 'Cookies'. A lot of cool looking characters caught your eye, too many to count, but soon enough everyone will know you and you will know everyone! It's all a matter of who and where! "Hey, um, you there, [Y/N]?"

You jolted back into this reality. "Oh! Yeah... Just distracted.."

"Well, I was gonna ask if you wanna hangout later today..." Greg lightly blushed. So light, you barely noticed.

"Sounds great, Greg!" You smiled like he does a lot. "Where do you want to hang out?"

He almost looked surprised. "Maybe at the park. What do you think?"

"I would love to. Thanks!" As you walked away, you heard a faint sigh. Less like a sad sigh, but more like a love-stuck sigh.

- End Scene -

Rules!

No Female Cookies Shall Be covered! I’ll save that for another work ;)

No NSFW/Smut requests!

Please, request by commenting in THIS CHAPTER or send an Ask!

No Violence/Gore!

No Pedophilic or Zoophilic requests! If you want to request a child (ex: Pancake Cookie), there will be no romance and they will not be aged up!

I will only do repeats IF they are paired with someone or were paired with someone! (Ex: If I have Espresso cookie and someone x You, I will only do a repeat of Espresso cookie on his own! If he was on his own, you can request him but he has to be paired with you and someone else!)

In response to 6… I will only do the same character twice!

Everything else you can think of is on the table!

NOTE: THIS WORK IS ALSO ON AO3!

[little-mouse-gardens]

Fictober day 1 "i chose you"

Fictober day 1 

Fanfiction

fandom - monkie kid

Oc x canon (macaque)  

@fictober-event prompt - “I chose you” 

“I chose you”

    a pang of sadness shot through rongs heart again as the fond memories and emotions those words carried with them came crashing down on her like a wave.

 Memories of her happier days when she was wild. When she was completely carefree. When all she had to worry about was her daily tasks as a guard and what shenanigans her sisters and friends were gonna drag her into. 

before everything had changed. 

   A shaky sigh escaped her as she gazed back up at the moon, soothingly rubbing the backs of the two little baby red and black furred demon monkeys that were currently wrapped to chest. 

   their tails wrapped around both her arms like a lifeline as she rocked back and forth on a porch swing that overlooked the family’s garden 

Eyes glancing over at the time on her phone every once in a while, as she Patiently waited for her husband to return back with wine, baby formula and the egg tarts + plum cakes she ordered ahead for their wedding anniversary. 

  The sounds of cars driving in the distant city, crickets chirping, nocturnal creatures moving around in the distant forest accompanied with her children's purring and cooing noises, and the cool night breeze caressing her skin. 

All was enough to put her at peace again. enough to keep her mind off of the few depressing implications that their anniversary would also bring up and focus more on celebrating.

  Specifically, at least 2320 years of marriage and the love they shared, their first two children who were now fully grown and the two twins she had recently. all of which are healthy, alive and unharmed, the fact they don’t have to worry much about getting old and…. other things…. but those things didn't need to be brought up

  After all the shit they had been through over the thousands of years they have been together, those were pretty huge accomplishments for the both of them. 

  And they were gonna celebrate even if her sisters couldn’t make it. 

  The subtle sounds of a portal opening behind her and the sudden distinct scent of plum scented cologne and freshly baked egg tarts brought a smile to rong’s face.

 “I’m back pretty girl~”

   Rong chuckled at the nickname.  Her cheeks dusting a rosy pink as she turned away from the garden to face her husband standing in the doorway. 

   The handsome monkey demon was leaning against one of the screen doors, love in his golden gaze and his signature charming smile on his face as he looked over at her and the babies. 

  His silky black fur was still a bit ruffled from sleep and he was no longer dressed in the normal outfit he always wore out in public but in a Loose lavender sweater and a pair matching fuzzy pants she bought him as a gift last new years.

   It was meant to be a bit of a joke gift, she had actually made him a new weapon to practice with at the dojo, but she just had to see the look on his face when he opened the box and saw the cutest puppy and monkey patterned pants sitting inside. 

   However, Rong was quite surprised to start seeing him wear them around the house and even when she asked him why he didn’t just wear a different pair of pants when she had to sew a tear in them, he basically told her that they were the most comfortable pants he had. 

  Which was code for ‘i can’t really find a way to express it but i love this gift you've gotten me and i will cherish it forever no matter how cutesy it is’ 

  But That was macaque for you, a powerful cunning and charming demon who was secretly a big softie that managed to make his way into her heart centuries ago

 “Glad your back love” she replied, getting up from the swing to kiss her husband’s cheek “did ya get everything?”

“Yes i did” he purred, his long black tail snaking around her waist “and i gotta say babe, you have excellent taste”

  Rong gave him a smug grin, sitting contents of the bag down on the dining room table before turning back around and reaching a hand out to pet behind his ears.

“you're damn right i do” she quipped, her heart melting at her husband's purrs “you tend to pick up a few things when you spent centuries with such a clever and handsome husband like mine” 

  macaque felt his face and ears heat up at her compliment. His purring intensified as he leaned his forehead against hers. allowing the glamor he wore to fade away, revealing his blind left eye that he normally covered up. 

  Yeah. to others it was kind of stupid that he would practically melt away at a complement his wife would give him every day. But macaque couldn't help it. 

He was just incredibly thankful and happy to have her in his life.

“You flatter me babe” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear “i’m not that handsome”

“Oh hush, you are handsome mihou!” she insisted, pausing when she felt xiaobo and luli squirming around in their wrap “they’re probably ready for bed. Both of them tried to stay up waiting for you to get back home”

“Guess they missed their Baba, didn't they?” macaque cooed, carefully taking the two little demon monkeys into his arms “or they just missed their walking heat source so much they couldn’t fall back asleep without it” he commented sarcastically, the two babies squeak immediately turning into soft purrs and coos as they cuddled up into their father's sweater. 

   Rong chuckled at his comment, leaning against the kitchen table as she looked at them. Taking in the sight of macaque holding the twins with nothing but love and gentleness on his face like a love drunk fool. 

 The same she gave him years ago when she first started to really feel something stronger than friendship for the six eared demon. 

“Rong, whatcha starin at?” 

“Oh it's nothing” she replied, going back to setting a few of the egg tarts and plum cakes on a plate for them to enjoy.

"Could you put them in their crib for me? I’ll set up the stuff outside for us” 

“No problem love” he purred, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before making his way down the hallway “i'll be right back, don’t start opening anything without me” 

Rong just smiled and rolled her eyes. “don't worry, I won't peek” she replied sarcastically, taking the plate of pastries and the two glasses filled with plum flavored wine outside. 

  After putting the twins in their crib, the couple just sat on the swing and celebrated. 

Their laughter echoing in the night air as they retold and relived memories. Leaning on each other's shoulders as they Ate egg tarts and plum cakes and laughed about the mildly chaotic wedding, they had centuries ago and the ridiculously chaotic week they had after until they were both in tears from laughing so hard.

Then they opened gifts from their older children who had stopped by and visited them earlier in the day to congratulate them on their anniversary.

   Their daughter yuan sent her mother and father two red envelopes with 100 dollars each inside alongside two magical little stuffed dolls of them that had that character shuang xi embroidered in red thread onto the chest of them. Which would bring them happiness and luck. 

   While their son Bolin sent his mother and father two red envelopes of money and he sent them each a magical item he made himself in his workshop. Rong received a beautiful set of broadswords that could return to her when she called for them and macaque received a beautiful red scarf that according to their son's note, would strengthen his powers and slowly heal his wounds when he was wearing it. 

gifts the couple loved and vowed to repay their kids for.

now, the the pair were opening the gifts they got for one another. Gifts that they hid from one another, weeks leading up to their anniversary 

“Alright, now that's settled, let's open the gifts we got for one another '' rong sighed, the couple exchanging two boxes between one another. both boxes being small, similar in size to a jewelry box, and wrapped in beautiful red wrapping paper. 

 Macaque held the box up to his ears, his tail flicking with curiosity as he shook the box gently to make sure he didn’t possibly break the gift inside. Whatever was inside it like metal clinking together. Maybe a necklace or a ring? Some sort of bracelet possibly? A talisman?

 Macaque couldn’t tell exactly, but when looked back over at rong he couldn't help but blush at the excited look she had on her face. Her lavender tinted eyes filled with excitement that made his heart skip beats. Though you could say every time he looked at her at all made his heart skip a few beats. 

  He just loved her that much. She is lover, his friend, his partner in crime,his best critic and the only person he allowed himself to be vulnerable around. 

Even if wasn’t entirely vulnerable, for reasons she knew all too well, she bore with him for centuries and always knew when to check him when it was needed.

All of that managed to make him feel like he was falling in love again every time he saw her face. 

 The face of the beautiful and clever badass warrior with silky black hair that smelled of roses who was hellbent on becoming his friend.

before one thing led to another, and she agreed on the battlefield that she would be his wife. And he couldn’t have been more thankful for it.  

“Hey handsome, don't just stare at me and open your gift” rong teased, watching with anticipation as he opened the box.

rong couldn't help but feel her heartbeat speed up when his expression.

shifting from curiosity to shock when he pulled out a small jade necklace with a little charm of a monkey and a dog wrapped around one another dangling from it. 

“No way” he muttered, nostalgia washing over him as he realized what he was holding  in his hands “is this-”

“The necklace I gave you when we won the huge fight against that demon that tried to take over huaguo shan?” she interrupted, scooting closer to him “yes”

He was too stunned to speak. Eyes still fixated on the necklace in his hands. 

“After..” rong sighed, watching her lover's brows with anger at even the mention of the memory before she continued “the incident...you were so devastated when you couldnt find it…and i didn’t like seeing you so torn up about it..so i every time you went out on a mission, i would go looking for it the inner demon markets just to see if anyone had picked it up”

Gently taking the necklace from his hands, she quickly wrapped it around his neck and clipped the back. Making a few necessary adjustments as she continued to explain how she got her husband's favorite necklace back

“But I had to put looking for it on pause when the twins were born. So, I called on an old friend of mine and she just happened to have it waiting for us in her workshop. She found it a few years earlier in the mountains. She even cleaned it up for you-”

Rong paused when she felt his arms wrap around her. Pulling her close to his chest and burying his face in her hair. 

“Thank you” he murmured “thank you so much for this”

 Rong could already feel tears welling up in her eyes. overwhelmed when she heard the pure softness in his voice and the fact she managed to bring something that brought him and her so many fond memories back.

“Your welcome love” rong murmured, hugging him back and burying her face into his chest for a few moments longer “i’m glad to see you wearing it again”

“I’m glad to have it around my neck again” macaque replied, pulling away scoot rong’s gift closer to her “now you have to open mine” 

   Rong raised brown at the insistence in his voice. Unwrapping the box slowly as she gazed over at his smiling face every couple of seconds to see his reaction.

“Is that new scarf you saw me eyeing?”she inquired

“Nope”

“The new bones to blood book that i saw last week?”

“Not even close”

“Alright i’m gonna guess it's a-” rong paused when she saw the contents at the bottom of the box.

 Her expression shifted between shock, nostiliaga and happiness, Tears welling up in her eyes as she pulled out an all too familiar jade bangle. 

A delicate piece of jewelry that had been completely shattered centuries ago during the incident that made her completely lose trust in what was once their close friend, but also strained her relationship with her sister.

What made this bracelet so special was the words and memory behind it.

Through blurred eyes, the characters carved into the bracelet read ‘ wǒ xuǎn zé le nǐ’ across the bracelet and translated to I chose you

  The exact words macaque had said to her when he had proposed to her during a fight against the demon on the battlefield. After the demon had been killed this was their symbol of unity. Their official symbol of their marriage. He had put on her wrist and basically poured his heart out to her about how much he appreciated her and loved her.

 He claimed that between her and all powerful weapons the demon they killed might have had, he chose her and would choose her every time.

because her being alive was the most important thing to him at the end of the day and that he was going to follow her into any battle or struggle so long as she would have him. 

“You love it?’ macaque asked, wrapping his arms around Rong and rubbing her back as she sobbed into his shirt

“Of course I love it goddammit!” she laughed, wiping her eyes and lifting her head up to press kisses all over his face as they held one another “you know how much it killed me when our bracelet broke! I couldn't even stand wearing jade for years after it had been destroyed!”

  Macaque just smiled fondly at her. His heart swelling with pride and joy as she gushed over the bracelet. Just happy to see Rong so overjoyed to have the simple jade bangle back on her wrist again. Reaffirming her love for him and reaffirming how strong their bond was. 

after calming down from the joyful moment, Rong leaned her head on his shoulder. taking his hand in hers. Looking up at him with half lidded tear-filled eyes.

“Love you mac” Rong murmured, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. 

Macaque let out a low purr. His tail instinctively wrapping around her wrist and his hand cupping the back of her head as he melted into her soft lips. 

“Love you more rong” he replied, pulling rong closer to him. Rong letting out a content sigh, the two of them just staring down at the bracelet and the words inscribed on it. Content and thankful they had one another. 

Repeating the phrase in their heads as they glanced at one another 

‘I chose you’ 

[aliceaddellheidde]

Birthday boy

A/N: I tried. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUCKY BARNES!!! ❤️💜💙💚💕

WORDS: 1838

WARNINGS: swearing, smut (graphic, 18+)

PAIRING: Bucky Barnes x reader {A/B/O AU}

DISCLAIMERS: English isn´t my first language so sorry for mistakes.

I stole pic from ig of man who looks just like Bucky!!! 😱🤣

Divider by @firefly-graphics

You woke when Sun rays tickled your face. Space next to you was empty and cold which meant that Bucky, your Alpha and husband, went to check borders with his friends. Today was his birthday and you had plans for you both. Nice yummy breakfast, you as a dessert, small party with your big family and then hopefully special evening for you present. You checked if it´s still under pile of your t-shirts and then went down to make breakfast.

Bucky walked in the kitchen twenty minutes later, sweaty. „Good morning beautiful.” he kissed top of your head. „Morning handsome.” He wanted to hug you, but you pushed him away, laughing. „Have a shower first.” „When I´ll be done with you, we both will need another one! Do I really have to go?” He looked at you with puppy eyes. „I dare you to sit to the table dirty and sweaty! Now, shoo.” „Damn you, you feisty Omega.” He groaned but left.

You have been together for six years, four of it as married couple. When you were younger, you were sure you don’t wanna tie down to someone in very young age. But Fate had other plans and one day you literally fell down the stairs right into arms of the most beautiful Alpha in the college. Since that day you couldn’t get his smell from your head. Few weeks later you went on your first date and years later you were married. He worked as auto mechanic and because you didn't have kids yet, you still had your work too.

You heard when he stopped the shower and put bacon and eggs on pan. „All clean and fresh wifey!” Bucky walked to you and kissed you. You smelled cypress and sandalwood from his warm body and deepened kiss a little bit. But sizzling sound ruined everything. „I think our food is ready my little Omega.” he smirked at your pouty face. „Quicker we will be done with this, quicker we can have fun.”

He seated you on kitchen counter, your legs open. Your hands were everywhere, his on your hips as you were stealing air from each other in heated kisses. „Bedroom.” he breathed and picked you up. You were on third step when Steve and Sam walked into your house. „Sorry Y/N, but we need Bucky.” Your husband growled and you apologetically smiled at him. „Again? I was with you in the morning guys.” „We know Buck, but as Alphas we have duties. Even on your birthday.” said Steve. „We will wait outside.” He nudged Sam. „Yeah and girls are waiting for you in the Dome Y/N.” They both left and he finally put you down. „Sometimes I hate being an Alpha. Too much work.” He buried his face into crook of your neck where your connection mark was and then kissed his way to your lips. „I´ll see you later, my sweet Omega.” You kissed his cheek and went to change your pyjama for something more appropriate.

You loved your small family. As you walked to Dome you saw younglings playing with youngest Alpha of your pack, Peter. You all lived in cabin camp encircled by forest and you couldn’t imagine better life.

„Y/N! You are finally here.” „Hi Wan. I heard you need me?” „Yes. You know one Alpha eats for three and we need more food because of guests. Pepper, Sharon and Laura are in the kitchen.” „Yes boss!” Laughing, you walked in the kitchen and were surprised that there was still space to walk. „Are you ok?” you asked your friends, who looked like they were hit by heat wave. „It´s not funny Y/N. It so hot here and windows are not very helpful.” „Sorry Pepper. I´m here to help.” You end up baking cakes and bread and gossiping about your Alphas.

Bucky found you hours later, dressed nicely in jeans and flannel shirt. „Why is your hair wet?” you asked him and yanked croissant from his hand. „Hey! I´m hungry.” „You will have plenty of time later. Now lets go home. I can´t show up on your birthday party covered up in flour.” He laughed with you, easily picking you up and carrying you to your cabin.

You were in shower and he sat on the toilet. „Boys took me to cliff. You know we love jumping in water. Thus wet hair.” „You are like small puppies in adult bodies, I swear.” „Yet you married me.” His eyes were scanning your naked body with dilated pupils and his tongue wetted his lips. „I'm the happiest Alpha on this planet.” His mouth crushed into yours and somehow you ended up lying on your bed underneath him. „I wanted you all morning doll.” He nipped at your neck, clavicles and you gasped when his tongue touched your hardened nipples. You could feel him getting hard as he was rubbing against your wet core. His kisses travelled down your ribs, belly and hips. And finally when he was ready to taste his finest dessert, noise from outside stopped him. You both sighted, defeated. „Damn it! Why they have to cock-blocking me on my birthday?!” You stood up with a huff and put on Bucky´s favourite dress with over-the-knee socks and you chuckled when you heard his breath hitched. „You like it?” You turned to him. „Fuck Omega. You are killing me! Once we are done at the party I´m putting a baby in you.” You moaned at the idea of it. „That´s what you want?” You nodded vigorously. „Words, my sweet Omega.” His fingers traced your face and shoulders. „Yes Alpha. I want your pups.” He smiled wildly. „Great. I love you doll.” He kissed you gently. „Time to go.” He took your hand and together you went to welcome your friends from other packs.

Bucky was happy. He was having great time eating, drinking, singing, playing games and telling stories with other members yet he was checking you from time to time. Once you were with other Omegas, then eating and talking to young Betas. But his heart fluttered when he saw you playing with kids. You were laughing and tickling them and you glowed under warm light in the Dome. He felt his Alpha stirring deep inside of him and your smell overpowered the others. It was feral feel he couldn’t fight any more. He had to have you.

You instinctively felt his eyes on you and when you looked his way he was already standing and walking your way. He was few metres away from you but you smelled his cypress and sandalwood immediately. It made you all warm and your heart sped up. „Sorry kids. I need some fresh air.” They all protested but you were already walking away.

„Fuck you and fuck all my friends.” he growled once he had you pinned against barn wall in the dark. He wasn't angry, just frustrated. And his voice was making you wetter with every word he said. „I will make you feel better.” Your small hand was fumbling with his belt but he stopped you. „No. There is no time. I have to be in you. Now.” You quickly took off your panties and seconds late you were lifted by his strong arms. His cock was warm at your entrance and his breath shallow. „Please Bucky. Keep your promise my big, strong Alpha. Put a baby in me.” He snarled and pushed himself inside of you in one movement. Your loud moans for sure heard guests at the party even over the music. But neither of you cared. „Please move Bucky.” He smirked and started shifting in and out in fast strokes. His thumb was playing with your clit and in mere minutes you felt him growing inside of you and you revealed your neck for him more. His knot swelled and his teeth sank in your soft flesh. Your body was built for this but it was still like someone threw you under hot water. Your body was burning, you were hardly breathing and your head was numb from all that pleasure. Bucky was slowly licking drops of blood from your neck and then he kissed you. „You are the best my sweet, sweet Omega.” He pushed damp hair from your face. „You think it worked?” You were trying for baby for over two months now. You cheekily smirked at him. „It worked three weeks ago.” He was shocked. „What?! And you didn't tell me?” „Happy birthday daddy.” He kissed you again, this time tenderly. „I can´t believe it! All those role plays and other things we did, worked.” You smiled at him lovingly. „It did.” For moment you were quiet. „We should go back.” he sighted. „But damn girl your triggered my Rut again.” He pull out off you slowly and helped you to clean yourself with his shirt. „And you my Heat, so we are even.” He crouched down, his face in front of your belly. „Hello baby.” he said softly. „I love you. And your momma.” You caressed his head and started to cry. „Oh baby, we made her teary. Don’t worry. I´m gonna fix it.” He stood up and took your face in his hands. „You are not going on the party again. Go home. I will be there soon.” He kissed your nose and was watching as you walked to your cabin.

He went the other direction. Some unmated Omegas were glancing at him but he didn't care. He stood up in the middle of small stage and tapped on microphone. Everyone looked at him. „I wanna thank you all for coming to my birthday party and for the presents. But now I have to leave you and take care of my pregnant wife.” His smile was wide when he looked over the surprised faces. „I'm gonna be a father!” he shouted and room erupted in happy screams and congratulations. „Ok, ok. Yeah, it´s amazing. Thank you all again and good night.” He almost ran away from there as he felt another hot wave rush through his body.

You were waiting for him in your bed with wooden box and card on top of it. „Is it for me?” You nodded and watched him as he opened the card and started to cry over black and white photo. „It´s so tiny.” he choked. „I know.” Now you were crying too. „Our baby Barnes.” „And what´s in the box?” „Open it.” He did and took out small pair of trainers. One had 'girl' on it and the other one had 'boy'. „I don’t know which one we are having so I took both.” you whispered. He reached in box again and found soft bodysuits in different colours and a dummy. After few moments when he was just staring at it and silently crying, he smiled at you. „It´s best birthday present ever. Thank you doll.” You put everything away and climbed on top of him. „Ready for round two, birthday boy?”

[ootori-sibs]

Birthday cake

Day three of @ohshc-week : kitchen/baking or self-discovery

"He doesn't like sweets! We can't use icing!"

"We're making a cake boss! It's gonna be sweet either way!"

Haruhi sighed, they were supposed to be making a birthday cake for Kyoya… but it was dissolved into messes and fighting. Honey and Mori were working on making little purple roses out of icing, well Honey was, Mori was more focused on stopping Honey from eating any of the ingredients.

The twins were fighting with Tamaki over how to decorate the cake, meanwhile poor Haruhi was the only one actually making the cake. Dark chocolate, with some cherries in, Haruhi couldn't help to notice how it was practically a black forest gateau but with some alterations to make it more enjoyable to the shadow king. She found it rather funny how Kyoya preferred a sharper taste to something sweet, it fit him so well, she was happy to use some tricks her mother had taught her; such as adding a pinch of salt with the sugar to keep the taste less sweet, or melting the butter a little before adding it so it's easier to mix. The hosts would probably be very confused by it, if they were paying attention to the actual cake instead of the decorations of it.

The twins were still arguing with Tamaki, they had been for around twenty minutes now. Haruhi sighed and walked over, arms crossed. "Are you three finished with your arguing yet? I need the cake bases now."

They glanced at her, and Tamaki practically melted into whining, "Haaarruuuuhuiii! Tell them we can't use icing! Kyoya doesn't like sweet things!!" He clung to her, pouting and just doing those horrid puppy eyes.

Haruhi just rolled her eyes, crossing her arms, "not liking sweet things doesn't mean we should leave the cake plain, we can just use a drizzle… how about a caramel sauce?"

The trio watched closely as Haruhi mixed the cream with the sugar and caramel, adding salt in spite of the concern that the hosts had. "Have you boys never cooked before? Of course you put salt in, otherwise it'd be too sweet," she didn't know why she'd even asked that, of course this gaggle of spoiled brats had never cooked before, they all had gourmet chefs working for them. She let the twins put the cake in the oven, barely glancing to make sure they got the settings right, as she was preoccupied with the huge bowl of caramel sauce. Tamaki however, was just sat there doing nothing, so Haruhi sighed, turning to him, "senpai, can't you think of something to do?"

The king pouted, resting his head on the counter, "noo… I'm bored…" he glanced up at Haruhi, big puppy eyes on full blast.

She sighed, rolling her eyes at him, "why don't you just make some little marzipan balls for decoration? That should keep you busy." She slid the tray of marzipan towards him, smiling softly when he instantly got to work, rolling little orbs of white and black.

After the decorations were all ready, sitting on their trays, ready for the cake to finish baking. Tamaki perked up slightly, "do you think Kyoya's back from spending time with his brothers yet? I wanna give him his cards and gifts!"

The twins shrugged, "we don't know, we asked him to text us but he hasn't yet."

Honey giggled, "his brothers probably don't want to stop hanging out with him! I know I wouldn't want to stop spending time with Chika." Oh yeah, Honey definitely had a unique perspective on this situation, having a younger sibling of his own, Mori, having one too, nods in agreement.

Haruhi sighs, finally relaxing, "we've only got an hour to wait until the cake's done, then we wait half an hour before we decorate it, so we wouldn't even be able to spend that much time with him without leaving again."

At these words, the hosts all collectively pouted, it was Kyoya's birthday after all, and all they wanted was to spend time with their beloved shadow king. They sat and waited in silence after that, staring at the oven as the cakes were baking. As much as they joked that Kyoya was heartless and cruel, he was mommy for a reason; he went out of his way to make sure everyone was doing the best they could, he took care of 80% of the duties that were really supposed to be Tamaki's job, he always had a bag or two of sweets in his bag- even though he wasn't that big of a fan of sweet things, really he was the mother of the group, no matter how much he tried to deny it. They all loved him with all their hearts, and wanted The best for him, unfortunately Kyoya isn't very open to love and affection, so the hosts have to be sneaky when showing their care with him.

The more Haruhi thought about it, the more Kyoya was like a particularly feral cat- one that was suddenly been shown affection and warmth; he was entirely self-sufficient, he treated literally everyone as if they were incapable and needed him to keep them going, was disgusted by the idea of affections, but silently craved being seen in a positive light, he was loving and caring but denied ever being such things, hiding it behind a rough and cruel exterior. The thought made her smile fondly, though she did wish they could just tell him how much they cared, instead of having to dance it around and hope he understands.

She knew what almost everyone had bought Kyoya, they'd all shown off happily. She felt a little bad about her measly little scarf she'd made him, but he always seemed too cold, hands shaking almost every time she saw them, he did so much for everyone- Haruhi just wanted to do something considerate back. The boys, as is typical of rich people, used gift being as an unwitting display of wealth; each gift more ornate and expensive then the next.

The twins had gotten him a four piece suit, complete with a male corset and rather impressive shoes. It was black and purple, with silver details, they'd even bought practically a bucketful of accessories, stating that Kyoya's outfits were always so plain. The accessories were quite tasteful, although some may be too feminine for Kyoya's tastes.

Honey of course, had gotten Kyoya many different squishies and stress balls and other fidgety, stimulating toys. Haruhi thought this was a great idea, even if some of them are a tad cutesy, Kyoya's always so angry, he's definitely going to appreciate them! Then she saw him pull out a fidget toy with opals on it, sure it was pretty, but do they have to flaunt wealth at every point? At least Honey had a good reason, stating that black opal was Kyoya's favourite gemstone. Another good thing about these toys, is that honey had them custom made, and claimed that they were made to be practically indestructible, which was rather impressive- and needed too, Haruhi had seen Kyoya dent an armoured car in a fit of rage, any toys he had would have to be able to put up with that level of violence.

Mori had bought a couple of books he thought Kyoya might find interesting, as well as a new usb with pdf copies of each book, Haruhi honestly thought that was one of the best gifts, thoughtful and subtle, then Mori showed them the books and they were all first edition copies. Haruhi had sat there, cursing the frivolous spending of these boys, was this a competition to them?

Tamaki had happily shown off the gift he'd gotten for Kyoya, pens, lots and lots of pens, a whole briefcase of them; fountain pens, gel pens, erasable pens, gold, diamonds, opals- just the most decadent set of pens you've ever seen, the fountain pens had refilled in every known colour, and the briefcase itself had gold embellishments. Haruhi was, in all honesty, blown away even imagining how much that had coated, did he have to spend so much money on pens? Although she knew Kyoya would appreciate pens, he broke one practically every week, and wrote like nobody's business. He was the only person haruhi had even known to actually run out of ink in a pen.

So it was clear the hosts were vying for the most expensive gift, and Haruhi couldn't help but feel slightly inferior for the little purple and green scarf she'd made Kyoya, it was rather nice looking in her opinion, and it has taken her quite a while… she really hoped Kyoya would appreciate it.

By now, the cakes had not only finished baking, but they'd cooled as well, so the twins placed the first layer, about the size of a wheel, on the plate. Honey added the whipped cream before Mori put the second layer on top, there were four layers in total, stacking up nice and high. Haruhi had got a chair to stand on and poured the caramel sauce over the cake, making sure it was entirely coated, with a nice pool at the bottom. She'd then stepped back, letting Tamaki and the twins place the marzipan balls that Tamaki had made whilst Mori and Honey placed the little purple roses made out of icing, life size and miniature too.

When they were finished, the cake looked beautiful, they were all so proud of it. Proud… and covered in the ingredients, they really looked a mess, they should probably clean up before leaving the kitchen. Haruhi was the least covered in eggs and flour, she only had some caramel on her sleeve. So she was the one to add the candles, purple and white striped ones, all 18 of them. God, this was a big birthday huh, he was an adult now. No wonder his family finally wanted to spend time with him.

Kyoya had returned, rolling his eyes at how excited Tamaki was, the blonde hanging off his arm. He glanced around the room, clearly taking in the sigh of all the gifts and cards gotten for him, there was a table full of things from the guests, and each host was holding the gift they'd gotten for him. He just sighed, adjusting his jumper, it was big, grey and oversized, not the kind of thing he'd normally wear. He put his shopping bags down, glancing over at the hosts, "why are we making a fuss about this? It's just getting a little older."

"But Kyoya! Don't think of it like aging! Think of it more like… surviving yet another year? Isn't that something worth celebrating?" Tamaki smiles, hugging Kyoya's arm.

Kyoya visibly pauses, thinking over what Tamaki had said, almost looking sad, just for a moment, then he smiled slightly, nodding, "ok, sure… You know Tamaki, you sound just like Fiyumi sometimes, she says that, every year…" Tamaki stops for a moment, turning and looking at Kyoya in silence, he then rushed over, hugging Kyoya.

"Hey come on! Let's not focus on the idea of the other end of things! Let's celebrate! We all got you something!" He beamed, stepping back and gesturing to the other hosts, "come see what we got you!"

They had Kyoya sit down in Tamaki's big chair, handing him gift after gift after gift. They had opened the ones from the guests first, all sorts of cute and shiny nonsense, too many chocolate boxes to count- for the last requested host, Kyoya sure had a lot of fans. Then they came to the gifts gotten by each host, the gift the twins had gotten Kyoya made him smile, he'd rolled his eyes, "god, Yuuichi tells me that every day, he says I dress strangely, he got me this jumper, he says I look better when I dress cutely." They'd laughed at that, and Honey had handed him the gift he'd gotten.

That gift had made Kyoya pause for a bit, picking some up and looking at them, before fiddling with one of the fidget toys, and getting entirely engrossed in it, until Tamaki shakes him gently. Kyoya sighed then turned to Honey, nodding gently, "thank you." Honey had beamed at that, happily pointing out that it was indestructible, because he'd seen how destructive Kyoya can be without even realising. Kyoya had frozen at that, looking down at the toy in his hands, something seemingly coming to mind, something he very openly didn't like, dropping the toy back into the box. It seemed Mori had noticed that, nudging the box aside with his foot and placing the gift he had gotten, onto Kyoya's lap, a little hum of assurance.

Kyoya opened the gift, looking at it for a moment before picking one up, running a finger along the spine before reading the blurb on the back of the book, then another, then another. Slowly, Kyoya read the blurbs of each of the books, before carefully placing them all back into their box, he turned to Mori, nodding, "these all seem like very interesting books, Thank you." Mori hums again, placing a gentle hand on the top of Kyoya's head, a gesture that did not go unnoticed. Kyoya sighed softly, closing his eyes for a second, the closest any of the hosts had ever seen to him reciprocating affection, and Tamaki's eyes lit up, if just for a moment. But the king stepped aside, and let Haruhi hand Kyoya her gift first.

The shadow king looked down at the brown paper wrapping, nothing he was at all used to, he used his nails, surprisingly sharp as they were, to tear into it, playing around with the texture for a moment or two, before tearing into the paper. He looked almost surprised at the soft wooden scarf that lay across his lap now, the greens and the purple sitting in unison, he picked it up, testing the feel of it in his fingers… he smiled. He slowly wrapped the scarf around his neck, clearly pleased by how soft it was, he glanced at Haruhi, curiosity clear in his eyes, "did you make this?" Haruhi had nodded, telling him how it took her over a month, he glanced back down at the scarf, rubbing the wool between his fingers, "hm, it's very good quality, welldone Haruhi, and thank you." These words sent Tamaki into a frenzy, going on about how Mommy and darling daughter were getting along so well, and Haruhi noticed how Kyoya just smiled softly at that, watching the king flounder about with adoring eyes.

Haruhi had paused, she'd glanced across at the twins, then to Honey, then Mori, then finally to Tamaki, she was beginning to notice how much all of them loved each other, how much she loved all of them. She wondered if they were aware of how much they loved each other, or was that just a Tamaki thing… she wasn't even sure Tamaki was all too aware.

When Kyoya saw the pens Tamaki had bought him, he was near tears- of course that was an exaggeration, an Ootori never cried, they were infamous for such, but Kyoya's eyes were certainly wet as he stared down at all those shimmering beauties, his hand twitched, clearly wanting to hold them, but he glanced up at Tamaki instead, "I can't take these, I break pens so easily, I'd just ruin them…" his voice, it was shaking, if Haruhi didn't know any better, she'd say Kyoya sounded scared of breaking the pens.

Tamaki had smiled softly, putting a gentle hand over Kyoya's shaking one, "don't worry Kyoya! I don't mind if you break them, as long as you enjoy writing with them. Not everything is meant to stay forever, no matter how beautiful!" Kyoya clearly didn't believe him, so Tamaki sighed, continuing, "and even if they do break, they'll still be beautiful, I know beautiful things that break and break and break and they're still as beautiful as the day I saw them first, even if they can't be used for their original purpose, besides, you can always fix them can't you?"

She'd been suspicious of something for a while now, since that night near the beach, with that thunderstorm… and Kyoya, being just as much of a feel as the other boy's… she'd thought about her theory as he'd told her how the club was formed, when Kyoya's father had slapped him, as she watched him watch Tamaki's car leave during the festival, when they stood together under the fireworks and Kyoya had kept a couple of steps distance, and right now… She hoped to god Tamaki didn't mean what she thought he did, standing next to Kyoya, her hand went to his forearm, smiling at him as he looked at her, "those are pretty pens senpai, I'd be a shame if you didn't write with them. If you break them then that's not your fault, pens aren't anything like people, so you shouldn't feel too bad if you break it."

Kyoya had paused for a moment, ruminating on something, before he nodded, "you're right, both of you, I'd love to write with these pens, thank you Tamaki- it's a wonderful gift." There was silence, just a comfortable, soft silence, everyone was smiling, everyone was happy.

Then Honey piped up, jumping up and down, "cake time! Cake time!"

Kyoya had glanced back at him in alarm, "cake? But I-"

The twins shrugged at that, speaking in unison, "well you have to have a cake, it's your birthday." Kyoya didn't seem to want to argue with that, so he just let Haruhi turn the lights off, and take out a camera as Mori brought the cake in, with Honey hopping around behind him.

They sang happy birthday, though Tamaki had decided to make his way to the piano, playing them a melody to sing to, he himself was singing the words in french, that blended into the Japanese to create a strange sound, one that felt comforting to them all, they didn't understand the words Tamaki sang, but they knew their meaning. Mori brought the cake over and placed it on a table in front of Kyoya, who looked at it, in… what had to be awe. Everyone knew Kyoya wasn't one for sweets, but the way he stared at that cake, Haruhi had to wonder if it wasn't so much a dislike, as it was a show, a character he was building.

He stood up to blow the candles out, rolling his eyes as everyone clapped, but when they had finished he did have one question, "did you make this?" Everyone nodded, happily explaining the things they had done, and the steps taken to make sure that Kyoya enjoys it. With every word spoken, it's clear that Kyoya becomes more and more touched by the notion, then when he would argue the need for a cake not five minutes ago.

They each got a slice, though Kyoya got the biggest- Honey had talked his way into getting the second biggest of course, the cake was actually delicious, not as sweet as they'd expected, though they never saw Haruhi add the salt, she was rather proud of her baking personally, though she had to admit the things the others did were indeed vital for the cakes success. She had glanced over to Kyoya, noticing how slowly he was eating his cake, other than Tamaki and the twins rambling on about something or other, it was quiet, and Haruhi just watched Kyoya eat. It was strange, she genuinely couldn't tell if he was happy or not, he'd seemed happy throughout the gift giving, but now his expression was blank. She wondered if his so-called hatred for sweet things outlived his love for his friends, or maybe he just didn't know how to deal with enjoying something. The last time Haruhi had watched him eat like she was right now, they'd been in a mcdonald's, and he had shown terrible table manners, but right now, he was moving as perfectly polite and daintily as a human possibly could, especially for a human that breaks things on a daily basis, Haruhi was forced to come to the conclusion that… maybe Kyoya was monitoring his own behaviour, he must be enjoying the cake the same way he enjoyed everything, with massive amounts of guilt.

[darkerdeariegold]

I have a sudden urge to know any food related headcanons you have for rumple.

Ooooooh thank you for this ask, I am EXCITED to get in to it.

I apologise now for how long winded this is going to be but you know I love my man and I have feelings about him and his story.

So I’m gonna do food and drink because they’re linked.

Food

As a boy, money was tight thanks to the way Malcolm managed their lives. It seems clear that he wasn’t starving as a boy, but he was a skinny kid. I think that as a child his diet mostly consisted of cheap and easily accessible foods. Things like flat breads (usually a little hard and unpleasant but filling), root vegetables like potatoes and whatever fruits were in season. Especially if they were small enough to fit in to a pocket so things like apples, berries and pears. 

It’s that start that means he’s not fussy when it comes to food. Even when he became the Dark One and had the ability to produce a feast out of thin air - and he did, wanting to make sure Bae never went with an empty belly like he had - he didn’t look down on any sort of food. Food is survival, and survival is what he’s good at, despite any odds against him.

When he began to live with the Spinsters - and did so until his adulthood - he learned what a good meat pie was and that rapidly became his favourite food. It was cheap cuts of meat - because as spinsters they had enough to live a comfortable but never affluent life - but the way it was cooked, slow and low for hours just made the meat fall apart and become the juiciest, most tender cut. 

He always asked for a meat pie for dinner, and because they loved him, they indulged him a few times a week if they could, at least once if not. (They would go without for him and he only realised that when an adult himself).

Vegetables were always a staple of his diet simply because if you could grow it, you could eat it and it cost barely anything to maintain. He likes stews and soups, easy food that you can put any combinations of vegetable in. His favourite is the humble potato, because he knows just how much you can get out of it and how filling it can be. He learned how to bake them on the fire and always finds comfort in that.

He learned that he has a sweet tooth when he was able to begin to conjure food. He already knew he did from his love of strawberries growing up - always his favourite berry to pick and eat - but when desserts like sweet rolls and cakes became a staple of his life, he was a little addicted.

He does, after all, have an addictive personality.

Not that he’d never had cake before - the spinsters liked to make him one for his birthday but a shortage of sugar usually meant it wasn’t as full of sweetness as it could be. Still good, and always appreciated.

Until Zelena’s abuse of him for a year a meat pie was his favourite food, along with a hamburger. Something he only discovered in Storybrooke, as well as pickles. Now, he can’t even think of it. The abuse has tainted what once had been a comfort to him. Now he feels physically sick whenever a meat pie is near him. 

Thanks, Zelena.

He’s definitely not a snob about food; he’ll eat anything really, except for those meat pies now. He likes sour food, he likes sweet desserts. He isn’t one for too much spice (he just doesn’t have the tolerance for it) and the first time he bit in to a chilli pepper his entire face felt like it were on fire). He’s been seen to eat apples, ready noodles and hamburgers on the show to name just a few foods that it’s canon he is fond of, or at the very least will eat.

Though he’s a meat eater he’s used to having a diet rich in vegetables and genuinely enjoys those. Simple roasting of them is perfection.

So his favourite foods are;

Hamburger (he loves the bread in this world, how much more taste it has)

Pickles (he likes sour food, used to that flavour because of the absence of sugar in his diet when younger)

Strawberries and other sweet fruits.

Desserts in general; he has a sweet tooth but has to limit himself.

Bacon and eggs. 

Potatoes, especially baked with butter.

Meat pies USED to be. Eventually he’ll work through that trauma and be able to enjoy a good pie again. He just needs to focus on the initial positive thoughts he had surrounding it.

He loves a good condiment - ketchup, mustard (mild) and ranch. Not a huge fan of mayo in anything more than a small quantity. 

Drinks

Tea is a little different here than it was in the Enchanted Forest, but it’s certainly his favourite drink. He especially loves the way Belle makes his tea; a dash of milk, no sugar and brewed to perfection. Even he can’t make a cup taste quite as well as she does.

He doesn’t have a lot of milk in there, and he never has sugar; mostly because he was a tea drinker before he was the Dark One, and so he was a tea drinker when he couldn’t really afford the luxury of sugar. 

Coffee was a revelation in Storybrooke and, when cursed and needing to sleep each night he found a cup of black coffee in the morning before his breakfast was the perfect set up. He still likes a cup of black coffee every now and then. 

Also likes a hot cocoa- that was always a treat when a lad, and he loved the nights he would be tucked up in to bed with a small cup of it. Leaving him - and his belly - feeling warm enough to drift off to a peaceful sleep.

He doesn’t like fizzy drinks. Doesn’t understand the need for them. As sweet as his tooth is, most carbonated drinks are too sugary for him. The kind of sugar that sticks to your teeth isn’t pleasant to him.

Alcohol is a strange little bedfellow that he has a very difficult relationship with. He grew up seeing the negative effect it has on his Papa and it’s a drink that genuinely scares him. But it also helps to numb things. Numb the pain, numb the guilt. He has a small flask of scotch or whiskey hidden in his shop, a bottle too - always the finest stuff when it comes to drink - for those moments when he is feeling that he needs a support. 

Why the finest? Because psychologically, even if he can just conjure a bottle when he wants, it feels like a luxury. Something to not rely on consistently. If he drank cheap whisky or spirits he recognises that his addictive personality could lead him down a path as dark as his Papa. 

You only ever see him with alcohol when he’s struggling with something, namely guilt or a decision that he’s afraid of. We see him with a flask in the Enchanted Forest after losing Belle. We see him with alcohol in the Underworld. We also see him drink in Hyperion Heights when he’s clearly going through the pain of grief. If it numbs the pain, even for a moment, it’s alright. A small moment of respite is better than nothing. 

His favourite drinks;

Tea, dash of milk and no sugar

Black coffee

Iced tea, either with or without sweetener. 

IF he’s self medicating, expensive whiskey or scotch. 

[dumb-little-trans-writer]

Rust and Black Thorn Trees. Chapter 2.

The girl tiredly wandered, getting increasingly exhausted.

She didn’t know where she was.

She knew nothing.

What Miranda neglected to focus on, however, was the fact that she also transformed when on the brink of death, to attempt to find something, anything, to eat, or to wear.

She saw a pack of lycans.

She silently transformed, as how Mother taught her.

Or, more accurately, beat into her.

She stalked the lycans for the perfect moment.

They grabbed bunnies as though they were chips, the high-pitched screaming echoing through her ears.

As one of the lycans had a rabbits leg in it’s mouth, Dasha struck the lycan closest to her, slashing it’s throat. She quickly moved from lycan to lycan before they could react.

As she transformed back, she immediately started tearing the flesh from the lycans with her teeth. She found that eating right after transforming prevents the nausea and the puking, it doesn’t prevent the leaking of the liquid from her eyes and nose, though.

She binged, knowing that this may be her last meal for a while.

She could smell winter on the horizon, and this was her life for the next six years.

Over these six gruesome years, she was able to find the occasional lost tourist or hunter in the forests surrounding Heisenberg’s Factory.

She stole their weapons, and their clothing.

She found that she preferred men’s clothing.

The girl would transform less and less, using the limited ammo and resources she had.

Karl Heisenberg watched her last hunt, as it was the closest to the factory she’d ever been.

Risky.

Hmm, he thought as he watched her dance with the lycans.

With a shotgun shell to the face, of course.

“Hey, you know, there isn’t anyone who can sell you ammo around here,” Heisenberg said, walking toward the girl. She jumped, cautious, “if you run out, you’re kinda fucked.” he stated, putting out his cigar.

She had heard of Lord Heisenberg. Never met him though.

“What are you implying?” she spat.

“All i’m saying is that running out of shotgun shells during the wintertime, when it’s nearly below zero, can be deadly,” he paused, spitting on the cold leaves, “especially for someone as tiny as you.” he laughed at her glare.

“Don’t call me tiny.” she replied, walking past him.

In the recesses of her mind, she was okay with it.

Heisenberg led Dasha to his factory.

It was loud.

The metal clanging against itself, the periodic releases of steam, and the...chainsaw revving?

Heisenberg opened a hatch, and screamed “SHUT YOUR HOLE, ROTTEN CUNT.”

The revving stopped.

“Is one of your failed experiments down there, Karl?” she teased, taking off her jacket as the humidity made it extremely warm, and uncomfortably sweaty. It revealed how muscular she had grown. She was still slim, but a little buffer from when she was with Her.

He seemed taken aback by her calling him Karl, instead of Lord, or even just his last name.

He liked that she didn’t pay his status any mind, he knows he didn’t give a fuck.

“Maybe. I’ll throw you down there if you decide to say some shit.” Heisenberg said with a slight growl.

“I could take it, i bet.” she purred.

“Don’t tempt me, bitch.” Heisenberg whispered, emphasizing ‘bitch’

The girl lightly skipped down the hallway, amusing Heisenberg.

“If I didn'thave a spare room I'd make you sleep outside.” Heisenberg called. She turned and nodded, “It’s right over here.” he pointed to a door on the side of another hallway. The room they were currently in had the bare necessities, albeit it was a mess.

She really didn’t mind though.

She walked to the room he was talking about, and opened the door to a bed that seemed to be collecting dust.

In fact, everything seemed to be barely touched.

Despite her past with cleaning, she needed to at least dust everything down.

“You got something i can wipe this shit down with? Looks like a tomb in here.” she yelled.

“Yeah, gimme a sec, christ” Heisenberg seemed to be struggling with something. She left the room, confused, and then amused at the sight before her.

He seemed to be trying to fix his oven, or cleaning it, whatever he was doing, he was struggling with it.

“Pfft, need help?” she asked, smirking.

“I’d rather kill myself than get help from you.” he coldly replied, sighing as he took his head out of the oven. His face was slightly stained with ash, and he was sweating. She leaned up again the counter, looking at him with an eyebrow raised. Now that she had a closer look, he seemed to be cleaning to oven judging by the ash stained rag soaked in water he was holding.

“This isn’t how you do it, let me help you.” she demanded. Heisenberg was slightly surprised by this, but silently swallowed a bite of his pride, and stood up, arms crossed.

“So how do YOU do it?” Heisenberg asked in a condescending tone.

“You got baking soda?” she suddenly asked, “’cause we’re gonna need a decent amount.” she added, taking out the oven racks.

“I have a lot of it, i guess.” Heisenberg replied, slightly confused.

“Do you realize how much of a fire hazard this is? I might scrub your entire fucking house down at this rate.” Dasha exclaimed, “where’s the baking soda?”

“There.” he pointed to a cabinet. She opened it and grabbed the tin, holding it for a moment to see if she’d need another one.

“Vinegar?” she asked.

“In the same cabinet.” Heisenberg said, annoyed and impatient.

“This is gonna take a day, I hope you know.” Dasha laughed.

“Fucking WHAT?” Heisenberg asked, shocked.

“Yeah. I have to-”

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME AND YOU’RE CLEANING MY OVEN.” Heisenberg said, frustrated.

“...Do you wanna know my name?” she asked, pouring baking soda and water into a cup, “or how to clean your own fuckin’ oven?” she said, sarcastically.

“Both’s fine I guess.” Heisenberg rolled his eyes.

“Dasha Jelíneková. That’s my name.”

“Dein Name ist schön...” Heisenberg muttered.

“...what?” Dasha asked, confused.

“Nothin’. Explain why it’s gonna take a day.” he quickly changed topics.

“Well, wiping down the interior with a soaked rag might get some of the grime off, but it won’t get it all off,” she paused as she mixed more baking soda in with the water to make a paste, “deep cleaning your oven like this also helps heat disperse evenly.” she explained.

“Seriously..?” he muttered, thinking about how his last meal was damn-near raw in some spots, and burnt in others.

“So, you take baking soda and water, make a paste with it like this,” she stuck the cup in his face, “you got rubber gloves, right?” she asked.

“Take a fuckin’ guess.” Heisenberg laughed at the question.

“Hand ‘em to me, dickhead.” she said, making a poor attempt to hide a smile.

“By the way, dunno if this has anythin’ to do with you, but i’ve been finding pretty large lycan carcasses that are either brutally killed and then eaten, or seemingly killed in self defense, all of ‘em had gnarly claw marks,” he paused, “know anything about that?” He asked. Her blood ran cold, but she tried to keep her composure. 

“Maybe it was a mutated Lycan.” she quietly said, applying the paste to every crevice in the oven. Heisenberg was confused as to why she was acting strange, and more importantly, how she knew the Lycans were caused by...that.

“Well, uh, keep an eye out, yanno?” Heisenberg uncomfortably laughed in the awkward silence.

“Can you plug the sink, and pour some baking soda on ‘em? Then pour the vinegar on ‘em.”

“Okay...what now?” Heisenberg asked.

“Wait for it to stop foaming, and stick em under the water. In the sink, i mean.” she explained, finishing applying the last of the paste.

“Okay...” he muttered.

“Now, we wait for at least ten hours.”

“...Are you serious?” Heisenberg asked, seemingly shocked.

“Why wouldn’t i be?” she replied, confused.

He looked down, “That doesn’t seem reasonable-”

“You don’t seem to be either, Mister Heisenberg.” she smirked at him.

“You know...” he started, “You should be happy I haven’t chucked you down that chute.” he threatened, towering over her small frame with a hand in her hair, mimicking a ponytail, pulling her close to him. He outwardly smelled like cigar smoke, gasoline, and sweat. His breath reeked of whiskey, his hot breath on her cheek. But she smelled more than just that, due to the experimentation with the Cadou.

She could smell what people feel, she always sort of could, but this was heightened by the experimentation.

This was new, it smelled like a heavy, rich devil’s food cake.

It smelled like sin.

She glanced downward at his crotch, and he was definitely pitching a tent.

“You really don’t want this, Karl.” she whispered. It was true, at least in her mind.

No one should want a monster.

She didn’t even know what she wanted, outside of Her dead.

Staring directly into his eyes, she gently placed her hand on the hand he was using to grip her hair. He violently let go, glaring and walking outside.

He hated how similar, yet different they both were. He wanted her to stay with him, despite barely knowing eachother.

It was a bag of mixed emotions.

Dasha followed behind, she found Heisenberg collecting firewood.

“I’m makin’ hotdogs.” he stated.

“On a fire, I’m assuming?” she asked, “i had to learn how to make a fire by myself. Got good at it too.” she bragged.

Heisenberg ignored her comment, “Can you get the ‘dogs and the buns for me outta the fridge?”

“Sure, what rack are they on?” she asked.

“Figure it out.” he coldly replied.

She scoffed, and went back inside, muttering to herself.

Heisenberg thought for a while while she was inside.

Why did she know about the Cadou? Why does she live in the forest? Is it by choice? I wonder if she’s useful...I wonder if Miranda- he thought. He zoned out, and realized his hands were dangerously close to the fire. He nonchalantly pulled them away, added a little more wood, and grabbed a chair. He thought for a moment, and pulled another chair over from the wood pile.

She came back, hot dog buns and hot dogs in tow.

Heisenberg used his powers to make two metal sticks come to him.

“What the fuck.” she whispered, taken aback.

“Oh. Here.” he said, handing one to Dasha.

“No, what the fuck was that-?” Dasha nervously laughed.

“Oh, yeah. I can do that. Only metal though.” Heisenberg explained.

“Huh.” she replied, giving a bun and a hot dog to him. He stuck the tapered metal point through the middle of the hot dog, and stuck it over the fire.

Dasha did the same.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for what felt like a hour, but really was five minutes.

Heisenberg, obviously, was the first to break the silence.

“So I know you’ve never really mentioned it, but I’m thinkin’ you LIVE in the forest, right?” Heisenberg asked.

“Yeah. Why?” she asked, holding the hot dog above the fire.

“Just haven’t really seen anyone willingly live in the forest.” Heisenberg shrugged. There was another period of silence between them as the fire popped and crackled.

“Do you live in the forest willingly?” Heisenberg asked, taking his hot dog off the metal stick, placing it into the bun.

She looked at him, and opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t find the words to describe her situation. She blinked a couple times, trying to find the words.

“I don’t know.” she furrowed her brow, and had an unmistakable look of i’m-remembering-things-i-don’t-want-to-think-about. Heisenberg wasn’t amazing with emotions, despite being able to read someone like a book.

“Sorry.” he quietly said, looking away from her.

“You had no way of knowing. It’s fine.” She leaned towards him. Then, she took her hot dog away from the fire, and just ate it off the stick. This sight amused Heisenberg.

“How long have you lived in the forest?” Heisenberg asked with his mouth full.

“Around six years? Hard to keep track.” she said, after swallowing a bite.

“Damn. So how old are you now?”

“I don’t know, around twenty-three, i think?” she replied.

“That checks out.” Heisenberg smugly joked.

“At least I don’t look like I’m from World War II.” she retorted, laughing.

“And what if I am, huh?” Heisenberg joked, knowing he was in fact born around when WWII ended.

“I was kidding, shut the fuck up.” she laughed. Heisenberg realized that he really, really liked her laugh. Maybe it’s from the isolation in the factory, and now he finally has someone that seems to enjoy his company. This feeling scared him, just a little bit.

“Yeah, sure.” he laughed. There was silence again.

“This might be coming out of nowhere, but could you...refer to me as a boy? I know this is strange coming from someone who looks like me, but-” he got cut off.

“I get it, it’s alright. No worries. You got a new name?” he asked.

“Dimitri.”

“Still a pretty name.” Heisenberg muttered.

“I heard that.” Dimitri laughed.

“Oh.”

The both of them finished their hot dogs, and they went inside. It was getting cold.

“Starting tomorrow, you’re gonna help me around the factory. Otherwise I won’t hesitate to throw you out.” Heisenberg threatened.

“Alright, you’re gonna have to show me how it works around here though, depending on my job.” he replied, taking his jacket off. He got into his room and rummaged through his bag, looking for a tank top or something. He found a black one that he looted off of a tourist, and swapped into it. Even when it was freezing outside, it was mildly uncomfortable to wear a sweater like he was. He didn’t even think about his immense number of scars being visible, from various creatures and pitiful self-defense attempts. One benefit from the Cadou was that it gave him a healing factor. The only downside, in his eyes, was that killing himself was impossible. He walked out of the room, and into the living room. Heisenberg was making multiple small metal parts like gears and screws float in a certain fashion, making outlines of various things.

He sat on the couch that looked as though it was about to fall apart.

“You’re almost as scarred up as me,” Karl laughed as he pulled up his shirt, revealing a multitude of scar marks, and a happy trail.

Fuck, okay maybe I do know what I want... he thought. He felt a small tingling around his cheeks, as he laughed. He turned around and pulled up the back of his shirt to reveal some of the worst scars he’s gotten. Heisenberg felt himself tense up, his cheeks went red too.

“Can i..?” he asked as he reached his hand out halfway.

“Touch them? Sure.” Dimitri replied, scooting backwards.

He felt his calloused hands gently trace over all of his scars, even the smaller ones. Despite Karl’s rough and mean demeanor, he was so gentle. His hand gently ran down to his waist. He was surprised, but it was calming.

Karl pulled away, fearful of being intimate with him. He had just met the guy, why did he feel this pull?

“I was okay with that, you know.” he said, facing him and letting his shirt fall back to it’s place. He moved a bit closer, wanting the closeness of someone that he never had. “...Please?”

Heisenberg was confused. He was reluctant because of trust issues, yet Dimitri was the polar opposite?

Why did he come here..?

I wanted to use him as an experiment, why-?

“No.” he stated, “I can’t.”

He wordlessly left, Dimitri assuming into his room.

He sighed, and left into 'his' room too.

"Shit." he muttered, thinking about how bad that was. Dimitri went to sleep, trying to forget the entire damn day.

[xmalereader]

The Mandalorian X Male Reader

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|| Masterlist ||

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@fuyuki-oshiha

Request: Can I request a mando x male reader. Where the male reader and mando have been together for a while and mando proposes to reader and If you can some light smut

Warnings: Light smut, fluff, baby yoda being a cockblock, humorous.

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“Just a little higher—yep! Right there!”

“Here?”

“No wait—move a little bit higher, wait! There! There! Perfect.”

Y/n stands back as he stares up at the mandalorian fixing up their small home. “What you think?” He looks over his shoulder to see the child holding a frog in his hands as he gives y/n a confused look before shoving the small creature inside his mouth. “Yeah, I’m gonna have to get used to that,” he gags out and turns back to face their small house.

After traveling and being together for years th two have finally decided to settle down. They were a small family of three and the kid came first, din was more worried about the kids childhood than anything else. He wants the little womp rat to have a life, they didn’t have to run away anymore, they can finally settle down in a nice planet that the kid would enjoy being on.

The planet was small and the population wasn’t big, good thing is that not many bounty hunters know about the place and it gave them a chance to actually start a new life. It was full of green forests and vegetation, the ocean was near by so y/n and the kid could go any time they want and play around in the sand and in the waters. It was perfect for the three.

“Y/n?”

He is brought back from his thoughts as he looks up to see Din staring down a him. “What is it bucket head?” He calls back with a grin on his face, knowing that Din was frowning under that helmet of his. He simply shakes his head and turns back to look at their roof top, “Does it look good from down there?”

“What? Your ass? Because it sure does look pretty great from down here.”

Din wasn’t having it today as he listens to the other laugh at him. “Can’t believe I’m proposing to this man.” He mumbles to hismelf as he climbs down the ladder and walks over to y/n. “Maybe you should fix the roof and ill keep an eye on the kid.” He says with a small grin as y/n shakes his head. “Nope I’m on baby duty.”

The two turn to look at the child who was staring back at them with his big black eyes. “Maybe we should take a break, it won’t even rain tonight so we can finish fixing the roof tomorrow.” Said Din as he removes his gloves and heads inside the hut.

Y/n smiles and picks up the child, holding him in his arms as he taps his nose. “Lets make some dinner, what should we eat tonight?” He asks the child who only cooed at him and squeals as he began to climb onto his shoulders. Y/n allows this with a small laugh as he enters their home.

The mandalorian was already removing his beskar, setting it into a small pile on one of their chairs. “What should I make today?” Asks y/n as he enters their small kitchen, gently taking the child off his shoulders and setting him down on top of the counter. “Actually I want to do something different tonight.”

Y/n raises a brow at Din, frowning as he held a wooden spoon and points it towards the mandalorian. “You’re not Turing my kitchen into a work shop.” He glares at his direction but Din laughs and moves the wooden spoon away from his face. “I want to cook today, let me make you something.”

“You, cook?” Y/n gives Din a baffled look.

“You saying I can’t cook?”

“No, no! Just a little shocked...and worried.”

“I’m not gonna burn down the place.” Din takes the spoon from him and rolls his eyes. “Out.”

“You’re kicking me out of my own kitchen?!”

“Yes.” His voice was stern.

“okay.” Y/n is quick to give in as he reaches over to take the kid but Din stops him. “Kid stays with me, need his little help.” The child blinks up at y/n and gives off a small chirp in agreement, meaning that him and din had already agreed to help each other.

Y/n eyes the two in curiosity. “Should I be concerned?”

“Go!” Din laughs out. “And don’t come in unless I tell you too.” He adds.

“I feel so bretrayed, my own boyfriend and son kicking me out of the kitchen.” He says out dramatically with a hand over his heart as he showing them that he has been hurt.

The child giggles at his caretakers dramatic moment and waves his own little hand towards him, shooing him away from the area as he too waves a wooden spoon around. “You heard the kid, now go.”

Y/n groans and walks over to his bag, taking a pair of gloves out. “Ill be outside getting the garden ready, want ot make sure that we have a good spot to planet our own Vegetables.” He grabs the things that he’ll need, kicking the door open as he sends the two a wink and steps outside, making sure that the door closes behind him.

Once Y/n has gone, the mandalorian sighs in relief and reaches up to remove his helmet. Setting it down next to him as he turns to face the child who tilts his head to the side, his ears lowering slowly as he waits for instruction.

“Alright ad’ika, today is a very special day.” He says, talking to the child as he moves around the kitchen and gathers up some ingredients. “Today we are going to make a cake, something that I’ve never done before but we should give it a try since we will have to learn, but that has nothing to do with what is today.” He hears the child chirp at him.

The child was frowning and had his little arms crossed over his chest, tapping his little foot as he grew inpatient with his buir.

Din rolls his eyes. “You’re getting y/n’s sass and its showing.” The child giggles as he moves around the counter, helping his Buir with making a special cake for y/n.

For the rest of the day both Din and the kid worked together to make the cake, it took a couple of times to find the perfect mix before they started baking. The kitchen was a mess and the kid was all covered in flour but Din was able to clean him up before they could present their work.

They made sure to clean up the kitchen since they don’t want to upset y/n with the mess.

Y/n was outside all day, he was sweating and dirty. He was covered in dirt and mud as he gathers his things and places them down by a corner where no one will take his things, sighing deeply he wipes the sweat away and enters his house. “I’m almost finished but I hope that we get to plant—“ he’s frozen in place as the lights are off and small candles are lit up around the place, giving it off a romantic vibe as y/n looks around to see both Din and the child sitting by a all table.

“What’s this?” He smiles at his boys and kicks off his shoes, walking over to sit acros from Din as the Mandalorian smiles under his helmet. “We both made you something.” He says as he places the cake in front of y/n who’s eyes widen.

“Din..”

“Happy anniversary.” He hears Din say as y/n gasps. “Oh no, I totally forgot I’m so sorry!” He quickly says as Din shakes his head. “I figured you would, we’ve been busy for the last couple of weeks so I didn’t expect you to remember.” He shrugs it off like it wasn’t a big deal.

“But still! I don’t have anything for you and you made me cake! Like how the hell did it turn out so perfect?” Y/n inspects the cake as he raised a brow.

“You saying I can’t bake?”

“No, no, just surprised.” Y/n smiles at Din and sighs. “Thank you, this is perfect.”

“That’s not all I did.” Din turns to the child. “Ad’ika, Can you bring me y/n’s gift.” The small green child nods as he waddled Over to one of There bags, digging inside he pulls out a small brown box and uses the force to pass it over to Din who takes it genlty. “Thank you.” He says as he reached over to steady the kid and sit him in his lap.

“For you.” Din slides the small box across the table and towards y/n.

Y/n genlty takes the box and bites his lip nervously as he pops it open. “It’s a ring? No wait—“ he takes it out of the box and takes a closer look, not noticing Din removing his helmet as y/n inspected the ring.

“It’s beskar! It’s made out of beskar!” He says proudly and looks up to face Din only for his eyes to widen, seeing dins face for the first time in years. “Din—“

“Marry me.” He blurts out as the child coos at the two and smiles.

“Wait what? Din you just—you can’t just—!” He was stuttering. First he gets a proposal from the man that he’s known for years and now he finally gets to see his face, breaking the creed.

“Din the creed—“

“It’s still my creed, I haven’t broken it.” He explains. “What do you mean?”

“The creed is only broken if I show my face to strangers or people that I don’t know or can’t trust but you—“ Din reaches Over to take his hand. “Your family and were allowed to show our faces to the ones we love, also to our spouses.”

Y/n holds Dins hand. “But I’m not your spouse.”

“That’s why I’m asking you to marry me, are you saying you no?”

“What?! No! Of course I want to marry you!” Y/n shouts out happily as he stands up and makes his way around the table to hug the Mandalorian also giving him a kiss on the lips as he grins. “You know I could get used to this handsome face.” He wiggles his brows as Din chuckles. “Not in front of the kid.”

The child was sitting between the two as he looks up at them, smiling happily that his two parents were going to get married, finally! He claps his tiny hands together and cheers out in mando’a. “Oye!!”

“How come the kid knows better mando’a than me?” He questions as the child continues to cheer. “Because he actually Pays attention.”

Y/n gasps. “What? How dare you, the wedding is off.”

Din barks out in laughter. “We just got engaged!”

“I know.” Y/n grins at him and looks down at the beskar ring that he held in his hand. Din smiles as he takes the ring and slips it onto his finger, brining his hand up to kiss the top of his palm. “We can plan things later, right now it is our day.”

“Your right.” Y/n takes the kid from Din. “Which means that this little one needs sleep, ain’t I right?” He asks the kid as the small little bean coos and leans his head against his chest, closing his eyes immediately as he grows tired from all the working.

“I’ll put him to bed.” He tells Din and heads to the kids room, setting him inside the crib they had as he covers him up with a blanket and makes sure that he has his stuff frog next to him since the kid really liked that stuff toy that Din got him. Smiling he quietly leaves the room and heads back to the main room to see Din sitting up against the wall. “He asleep?” He whispers out.

“Yes.” Y/n responds as he walks over to straddled Din’s lap. Smiling at him as he keeps his arms wrapped around him. “Good.” He hears Din say as he leans up to kiss his husband to-be. Y/n laughs against his lips as he pulls away, cupping his face as he examines him closely. “Wait, the last time I touched your face you had stubble.” He gasps dramatically. “Why did you shave it off? I love your stumble and mustache.” He grins at Din who rolls his eyes. “I needed to shave, besides it’ll grow back.” With that he dives back in, capturing his lovers lips into a deep kiss as the other laughs and falls back onto the floor with Din hovering above him and gripping his hips.

Y/n sighs out a moan as he ran his fingers through Din’s hair, gripping it softly as he grinds his hips upwards, hearing Din moan back as the two have their own make out session. The two are so distracted that they don’t notice the child standing information of them, holding his stuffed frog with his ears lowered down in worry as his whines, thinking that is own dads were fighting or something.

Din is the first to detect the whining, pulling away quickly as he sees the child and groans. “What?” Y/n questions as he leans his head back to see an upside down baby, smiling nervously he gives the child a small wave. “Hi..”

He was shirtless while Din had his pants semi-off, the two were too distracted to even know that the kid was watching but of course the kid had no idea what was happening. He was afraid that his parents were fighting that he had gripped his frog closer than usual and begins to tear up, letting small tears pour out of his eyes.

“No, no dont cry!” Y/n scrambles off the ground and reaches out to take the kid in his arms, patting his back as the child buries his face between the crook of his neck as he sobs silently. “It’s okay, we weren’t doing anything.” He assures him and turns to give Din a side glance. He was pulling his pants back up and sits back against the wall. “Maybe its best to finish once he’s officially asleep.”

“good idea.” He chuckles out and turns his attention back to the kid who has calmed down and was only sniffing quietly as he holds onto Y/n. For the rest of the night the three of them stay awake, keeping the child entertained and happy until he has fallen back asleep.

[kurohiraeth]

KURO VEROSE SAYS THEY'RE GONNA BAKE WHATEVER WE SAY THEY SHOULD ON THE 10TH WHAT DO I TELL THEM GIB SOME NOICE IDEAS

FOR REAL???? DAMN!!! WE GON’ (VIRTUALLY) HAVE CAKE!!!!!!!

what r ur fav flavours? anything chocolate tbh OR RED VELVET.... and ganache is to die for!!!

soo ummm.... Either plain chocolate chip cake.... or black forest? or maybe marble cake!!! with ganache!!!! or red velvet!!!! with cream cheese frosting!!!

(look at me being all demanding....)

but honestly, @verose-queen-of-hell make whatever u wanna eat! and don’t stress urself abt it too much!!