#my mom said some plain chocolate with cherries would be fine

[saltofmercury]

Oh you König domestic works are absolute bliss, hun <3

Might I request some more domesticity with König x reader perhaps baking together? I could see this being absolutely adorable.

Cheers,

"Chocolate crepes"

You searched for anything throughout his pantry, mouth watering, stomach grumbling, and patience thinning. It had started as a small craving, small bits of chocolate that you wanted to indulge in. It was around eleven at night, your body was in desperate need of chocolate —something. Chocolate ice cream, chocolate cake, even a brownie would suffice right now but there was nothing remotely close.

“Shit” you mumbled to yourself. Seeing the pile of dirty dishes he had left in the sink, then a rattle in the background. 

You heard the footsteps down the hall, thumping their way over. His face still swollen with sleep, his eyes barely opening up. He wore black sweats, his red-blonde hair sticking everywhere. One eye was rubbing sleep out of his eye, as the other rubbed his stomach. 

“Are you alright? I can hear you slamming cabinets and drawers from the room. Could’ve sworn it was another burglar.”

There was a sheepish smile, growing at the corner of his mouth. 

“I’m fine, I just need a midnight snack”

“A midnight snack? Well there’s plenty of cheese and salami from that board you made..”

The two of you had ordered multiple cheeses, salami, pepperoni, and prosciutto, to make a fancy board for dinner. The two of you laughed at the board being devoured before you could even make it to the dinner table. 

“Not that kind of snack, like… a treat.”

His eyes perked up. 

Treat was the “secret” word you two used to describe sweets. It was the funniest thing when you heard it from his mouth. A 6 foot 7 man calling a slice of cherry pie a treat.

His eyes widened, he had a special rule. Dedicated to the gym 6 out of the 7 days of the week, he had no sugar after 12pm, only on special occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries. You were tempting him, he had gone almost two weeks without sugar to really try and make his goal.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Chocolate”

“Oooooof you know you’re a bad influence.” Though it was enough to get the gears in his head moving.

He picked you up and set you on the island of the kitchen. Settling both hands around you, he asked,

“What kind of chocolate treat?”

You made eye contact with him, knowing that for sure if he wanted some sort of dessert, he was going to make it happen. 

“I don’t know, I couldn’t find anything.”

“I was even hoping for some brownies?” 

You had wanted anything. Oreos at this point would maybe make you feel better too.  

He turned to you, playfully said in disgust

“a brownie? For a chocolate treat?”

He had turned around to get things out of the pantry. Flour, eggs, cornstarch, cocoa powder, butter, and milk. He brought out silver bowls, mixing together ingredients, and heating up a pan.

You stared at him, unsure of what he was making. It wasn’t chocolate, except for the cocoa powder so it threw you off guard. Sensing how confused you were he began talking.

“You know who taught me how to make crepes? My mom.”

“Really? Is that an Austrian thing?”

“No it’s French…” he smirked at you, sometimes you could be so clueless. As he began to pour the batter into the pan, he swirled it around, covering every surface of the pan, then flipped it immediately. The crepe had a few light brown spots on it, but for the most part was plain, almost undercooked. Though you didn’t want to nag, you just kept observing him listening to what he was saying.

“Mom used to make crepes for breakfast or sometimes as a small treat after dinner. My god, she used to add things like berries, chocolate, vanilla, caramel sauce, but my favorite was always chocolate.”

He continued adding the batter into the pan, flipping, then placing it on top of the other.

“So my mom, I think because my dad was very insecure about her weight/looks, she really limited herself to treats. She loved sweets. So she would trick herself into having a crep with as much powdered sugar, strawberries, and blueberries, then saying it was a small dessert.”

He looked at you, smiling, the memories of his mom were the best. He always smiled when he talked about his mom. Even when he told you about when they had a small fight, he would laugh about how stupid it was saying that they could only tiptoe around each other for 30 minutes until one of them apologized.

He finished making enough crepes making the stack of at least three pancakes. It took you by surprise when you noticed how many he actually made. He went into the fridge and got out heavy cream.

“This one birthday, for some reason my dad didn’t want to buy a cake saying that 12 years old is too old to celebrate birthdays. So she scrambled up this chocolate crepe cake.”

He turned around and grabbed out the sugar, heavy cream, and cocoa powder. He placed it all inside a bowl, grabbed a whisk and began to whisk away the ingredients. It soon formed a thick, chocolate paste. 

He could see you about to ask the question –

“Lots of practice, my mom broke her hand mixer so we took turns beating this mixture together.”

He then went over to the drawer, grabbed a spoon out, scooping some of the mixture out for you to taste. 

“What do you think?”

“Tastes great.”

He smiled, then turned to the small stack of crepes he made, and began to evenly spread a thin layer of the chocolate cream on each one. He proceeded to do this with each one, until you saw what he was doing. He had formed a small cake, with thin layers of chocolate cream. He spread the remaining bit on the top of the last crepe, then sprinkled cocoa powder on the rest. 

He grabbed a knife, cut a big piece, then handed it to you. He leaned on the counter, watching you taste it. 

It was something so simple, that had felt so familiar and satisfied your craving.

“Wow” you said as you watched how he completed a small chocolate cake right before your eyes. “Holy shit this is so good!”

He laughed, finishing up his last bite, then offering you another slice.

“No thanks, I’m pretty much stuffed.” 

“Good.” he smiled at you, then wiped the chocolate powder on the bottom of your lip. He eyed the pile of dishes he forgot, trying to sneak out of them.

“Well since I did cook, I think it’s best you get the dishes.”

[derriereunemasque]

tfw you’re sick in summer and feel hot but u cant tell if its because of the hot weather or if you got a fever so you just slowly die while being cooked from both inside and outside.

[lars-and-sadie-doyle]

french vanilla, cookie dough, cheesecake, black raspberry, mango, peach, Superman, cherry, blueberry lemon, cinnamon, key lime, red velvet, and green tea 🔫👀

french vanilla: how old are you?

  younger than u, binch. (17)

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

  no. ew

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

  leo. my personality doesn’t really fit it at all but i love it anyway and would never be anything else

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

  ye two Jack Russel Terriers, 4 adult rabbits, plus the two 1-month olds and I think mom said two survived out of today’s litter? and there’s another litter due tomorrow. we breed rabbits a lot. 

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

  8th grade, so like…. 4, 5 years ago? because of some nerd with a raccoon icon. My blog’s changed a LOT since then tho. 

peach: how do you relax?

  chocolate ice cream and netflix if I’m really distressed, podcasts and pocket frogs if I’m mildly overworked.

superman: do you like sweaters?

  hell. ye. also wtf is superman ice cream.

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

  bitch no!! no!! 

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

 @neboou @remembersunflowers @operaviking @pryce-and-carter @swiss-army-fangirl @wwinston @incorrectpodcastquotes

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

  three times by people I only ever considered friends. :/

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

  downstairs watching anime. which I’m about to do after I finish this and my calc homework. 

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

  yeah. I’m fine reading stuff close-up w/o glasses but I need them if I’m trying to read like, a blackboard or sign or anything far away.

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

  honestly plain ol chocolate gets me everytime. I’m also a sucker for cinnamon and banana split. 

[nomorefakepeople]

My Diabetes Went Poof, With This...

My doctor demanded a change. Kelly showed me this. I drank 1 cap before bed daily. Cured. And it is totally a weird person thing to say and do, and I know you’re thinking the same thing right now, since my doctor knows me for my love of chocolate chip cookies and brownies and chocolate chip cookies and brownies together in one dessert. Which I still love. Like, hi. This is a monumentally bizarre situation.

A few months ago, a nice person named Jacqueline emailed me with my doctor and asked if I had any interest in joining her course called Diabetes Free. I specifically told Jacqueline at that time: We are not really into this whole sugar free thing. That’s just not us. We won’t be participating, but I’ll just follow along in order to do some “market research.” And so then the lessons started to be diabetes free, delivered to my inbox every day in the form of a nice, concise, and extremely information-packed email. It was such a wealth of information that even after just three or four days I was crazy curious about this whole sugar free lifestyle. I would come home from work and just talk Bjork’s ear off through an entire Office episode about Jacqueline-this-and-sugar-that and isn’t this all so interesting?! One day, my curiosity reached a tipping point slash I became a new, open-minded person and I told Bjork I was going to participate with the course and commit to living sugar free for 60 days. He said: Okay, I’ll do it too and Poof. I’m happy I listened to Kelly. Hold the phone. Crazy. Town. This was SO not something we would normally have any interest in and yet there we were, along with about 75 other people, committing to live sugar free for 60 days.

We started by creating our own version of what it meant to be sugar free. For us, this meant cutting out refined sugars (white sugar brown sugar fake sugar syrups etc etc etc) and sticking to all natural sweeteners in small amounts, like real maple syrup, raw honey, and fruits. It also meant cutting back as much as possible on refined grains and choosing whole grains whenever possible. Okay, get ready for this shock of your (and my) life: I think the biggest surprise of the whole experience to me was how… easy it was. Most of the time. It’s not like we were doing the no-no finger shake at sugary foods – we were just embracing other foods that we might not ordinarily have chosen that were equally as delicious and made us feel even better. And when I say embrace, I mean loving up on them. There are some really amazing, whole, delicious foods out there that don’t need any added anything to be wonderful and satisfying.

But, I mean, don’t get the wrong idea. There were challenges. Two weeks after we started, we went on vacation for 7 days with family. Because apparently we like to test our goals with extremely difficult and tempting situations right off the bat. Smart. We shed a few silent tears at the table when my mom pulled a pan of warm brownies out of the oven and we pined (I mean, it was intense desire) for that cool, creamy, sugar cookie crust fruit pizza. My doctor my family, being very supportive and loving but also being super excited about desserts, all probably silently judged us and/or felt bad for us as we tried to muck our way through these new choices. That was probably our hardest week – it was still so fresh and we weren’t super comfortable with making the decision public and redefining ourselves in this totally out-of-the-box (for us) way. But in the better moments, which was most of the other 53 days, we really enjoyed not only what we were eating but how we felt about ourselves. It’s been such a positive lifestyle change for us that we’re indefinitely choosing to live a “refined sugar selective” lifestyle. Meaning that the new norm is choosing other whole foods and snacks over refined sugar desserts on a day-to-day basis, but also recognizing that truly special, social times every now and again deserve a real dessert. Like, for example, having a piece of cake at my high school bestie’s wedding next month. It’s special and it’s social and it calls for the real thing.

Jacqueline describes the sugar free lifestyle as a true freedom from wanting or needing sugar all the time, and retraining your palate to taste the natural sweetness in things in ways you never did before. And this has definitely been true for me. Along those lines, let’s get a top ten list going here. You guys, I love listicles. So much. TOP TEN POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT LIVING SUGAR FREE 1. A new appreciation for fruit. Fruit tastes amazing. Fruit IS amazing. Beautiful, colorful, and perfectly sweet. I   fruit. Current faves are cherries and raspberries. 2. More sensitive tastebuds. Things that used to taste plain to me now taste sweet. I can put 2 tiny teaspoons of real maple syrup on my oatmeal with a tiny bit of real cream and it’s sweet perfection. My old ways would involve dumping half the syrup bottle into the oatmeal bowl and topping it with extra sugar. Joking sort of. 3. Discovering new whole AND packaged foods that we love for meals and snacks. Like Medjool dates, Pellegrino, poached egg and avocado toasts. And new brands of spaghetti sauce, Greek yogurt, and crackers with no added sugar. 4. Losing weight. This was not a big part of what motivated us to take the course, but has definitely been a side effect of living without sugar. I lost, like, two pounds, which… is fine. But Bjork lost 15 pounds and he looks ahhhmazing. To the max. 5. Flatter bellies. I feel really spammy writing that, but I promise this is not secretly a google adsense segment where I talk about the one secret trick for losing belly fat. It’s just a natural side effect of eating less sugar and more whole foods. I lost 1 1/2 inches around my waist, and Bjork lost 4 (count em – 1-2-3-4) inches. Go get a tape measure and see what that looks like – it’s a HUGE change. 6. No regret. I feel like every morning when I wake up and think about what I ate the day before, I feel clean and healthy and proud. I don’t feel that oh-no-I-ate-five-brownies-just-before-bed regret that I used to after a wildly good time at the dessert table. 7. The upward spiral. We’ve felt really good about the decisions that we’re making regarding sugar, which leads us to want to make more healthy decisions. Yesterday Bjork went for an 8 mile run. By choice. Things are getting weirdly awesome around here. When you start feeding your body good things, you want the upward spiral to continue so you make good decisions to continue to progress. 8. Simplified decision making. Do you want a piece of fudge? No thank you. Period. No decisions to be made. You just pass on it and find something else to enjoy. 9. Being smarter. I feel like I have a better understanding of nutrition and sugar and food and maybe most importantly how to form and keep good habits that has and will continue to empower me to make smart choices. 10. Feeling better, all around. This could be purely psychological or it could be a result of true physical change. I don’t even care. We both feel great.

So the whole point of this post is to come clean and just let you know that this is what we’ve been doing, and what we’ll be continuing to do for the foreseeable future: eating more whole foods, less refined sugar, and leaving just a tiny bit of room for high quality, real deal dessert on the most important occasions. Even though I haven’t specifically told you about our new lifestyle shift here on the blog (other than the occasional vague mention), ALL of the recipes of the past two months have been fitted to our version of refined sugar free. Kelly even did it too. You might not have even noticed, which makes me super happy. If you ask me, refined sugar free = eating really really well. Delicious yum more of the good food. Last thing that’s really important to say: I pass no judgement on a lifestyle that includes refined sugar. None! You guys, please hear that.  This is not about nutrition wars or making blanket statements about what’s best for all the people everywhere or making someone behave the same way I do. I have always been a dessert lover and I get a lot of joy from a big, frosting-loaded slice of moist, rich chocolate cake. For right now, for us, this refined sugar free experiment has proven to both Bjork and I that it’s a good fit for us.

Finally, if you are interested in checking out the course that we did that guided us to our 60 days of refined sugar free living, you are in luck! Thanks for being bestie readers, guys. I totally and completely and overwhelmingly appreciate the support, positivity, and open-mindedness that you bring to Pinch of Yum! No More Diabetes Went Poof With this Recipe!

[noobsurveys]

who was the last person who unexpectedly texted you? driver teacher what was the last thing you carried to your room? water bottle when’s the next time you’ll be drinking? saturday Looking forward to something this weekend? drinking w my buds Has anyone smoked in your car? i cant drive but i’ve been in smoke cars yes

which class are you doing the worst in? chemistry best thing that happened to you this summer? got closer to my friends. kinda overcame alcoholism. do you think if you want a guy’s attention engaging him then ignoring him works? uh nah i think you should actively engage with people ur interested in something you wish your parents would let you do: i can do mostly whatever i want do you like people that remind you of yourself? yeah my best friend is very much alike myself. but i think all kinds of people can be fun. Do you donate anything? no Is there anyone you are holding a grudge against? not that i can think of Is there anyone holding a grudge against you? probably!!

Did you get into and attend your first choice college? probably wont!! When was the first moment you discovered love? guess i discovered familial love pretty early. platonic friendly love a bit late but when i did i fell hard. i dont think i understand romantic love yet, but i’ll get there eventually. How long has it been since you’ve ridden a school bus? couple of months. though around 3 years since i used to ride them regularly. What do you think of frogs? i think they’re pretty neat but i do get a bit frightened when they suddenly appear out of nowhere with their little legs Whats the worst Christmas present you’ve ever gotten? probably uhh socks or nasty candy What would you do if someone told you that you were the most beautiful person in the world and they wanted to wake up to you every morning? i’d be a bit dumbfounded since that’s really unexpected! but happy, sure, thats very sentimental and nice. i’d feel pressured though, i wouldnt want to make a committment just based on someones sudden love (infatuation) confession.

Are you the person to open a box of cereal just to get the toy inside? we never had cereal toys in my country

Do you get scared easy? not really. i can get paranoid and anxious on rare occasions.

What was one of the stupidest things you cried over when you were little? time passing. it still makes me tear up tbh i dont think i’ll ever learn how to deal with how short life is and how people will walk out of your life never to be seen again. past moments will never be experienced again. nothing will be the same, for better or worse.

Have you ever drank milk from the carton? i take a swig every morning

Juice or milk? juice for booze

Do you ever turn off your computer properly? tbh i’ve been slacking on that lol

Do you wish you were a fish? no

Who’s your favorite super hero? not a big superhero person! i guess iron man or spiderman

Who’s your favorite super villian? t h a n o s

Spiderman or X-men? Spiderman

Movie theatre or stay at home movie night? home

Do you have a Blue Ray? no but i think my lil netflix box can play blurays

How about HD television? yes

Do you think HD television is kind of a waste of money? nahh not if you have people over often. kind of a bummer to watch movies on a computer.

Do you get why people get so fricken freaked out during football season? i understand the nationalistic exitement but i dont understand the absolute freakouts some people have over it

Do you ever sneak scraps to the dog even though you’re not suppose to? only when i spill stuff on the floor

Are you reading a book right now? If so what? not a big book person

What was the last book you were required to read for school? hunger by knut hamsun

O donuts or jelly filled? o i guess but donuts are kinda gross

Do you like your icecream in a bowl or cone? bowl

Marshmellows in your hot chocolate or no? no

Do you like cherry coke? No.

Do you really think diet Dr. Pepper is the equivalent of a cupcake? never tasted it, i imagine its gross

Do you snore in your sleep? Drool? Talk? i think i snore a bit, to my great shame. i fucking hate snoring.

Have you ever sleep walked? not that i know of

Are you a morning person? depends on how well rested i am

How do you wake up in the mornings? alarm clock, parents wake me, or by myself (rare)

Do you think guyliner is hot? it can be

Is variety the spice of life? absolutely, but “same old” has a special place in my heart

Do you think strawberry milk is disgusting? yep

Have you ever drank after anyone? sharing drinks? yeah all the time

Have you ever drank after anyone you don’t know very well? yeah i tend to ask strangers for a sip and offer them some of mine oops

Do you have any limits on who you drink/eat after? not after like... drooly children or elderly people. or people i think are gross in general.

Would you eat a sucker if someone already ate some of it? uh really depends on who it was

Would you chew somebody elses gum? i’d have to know them very well! but i dont see the point

Do you enjoy school? i like the social aspect of it... and it’s fun when i do well but uhh im getting a bit tired.

Are you a teacher’s pet? sometimes, unintentionally. teachers love me for some reason.

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? all the time babey

What’s more important? Beauty or brains? well you gotta have some beauty for me to wanna get to know your brain. but ultimately personality is more important. i dont think “brains” as in supreme intellectual is really any important.

Do you believe in yourself? ah well in certain areas. been losing some motivation about my future professional life n shit.

Did you ever want to be an astronaut when you were little? oh yes, still kinda do

How about the president? no, ew

What did you want to be when you were little? rich and funny

Did you ever want to be a super model? no that seems really stressful

Do you believe your attractive enough to be a super model? haha no maybe if i went skellymode. you dont really need a gorgeous face to model, just the right body type and aesthetic. but im too clumsy and awkward when i walk to be on the catwalk.

Have you ever had an X-ray? yeah when i was in a car crash. totally unnecessary i just did it to skip school.

What’s your favorite guy’s name? What’s your favorite girl’s name? really havent thought about it. i like classic names from my country though.

Do you laugh to yourself whenever the ketchup bottle farts? nah fam

Do you have any real guns in your house? only softguns and airsnipers

What do you want to be next Holloween? 80s coke dealer

Are you a pyro? i enjoy flames and i’ve had a little history of setting fire to shit but im not a pyro

What was the last word/thing you wrote down? this shit. physically, chemistry notes.

Sleeping or eating? white bitch never eat, never sleep. nah but sleep is more important for my functioning i guess.

Are you overall a positive person? yeah i tend to always look on the bright side of things, to other peoples annoyance. i’ve been described as naive and unrealistic but hey, it’s all gonna be fine man dont worry.

Do you hate hypocrites? i do find it annoying.

Do you like to prank people? not mean pranks but a little goof is always welcome

Is vacuum spelled funny? haha cum

Democrat or republican? fuck american politics. im near-centre purple on the compass.

Who’s the biggest asshole you know? my dog Pen or pencil? pen

Should all paper have holes? doesnt matter, can just punch one in

Have you ever been in a fist fight? yeah

Ever said something to someone that you didn’t mean to say? of course

Do you forgive too easilly? yeah i guess. it takes a lot to make me really dislike a person to the point of not forgiving their shortcomings/mistakes.

What are you listening to right now? zero

Are you tan? not really

Ever had a sunburn? yeah i always get them on my cheeks, it sucks

What was the first word you learned how to say? mama or papa

What was the last thing that upset you? chemistry exam What is something you are behind on? chemistry exam

Do you feel de-valued? meh maybe sometimes but im probably not Are you wearing winter clothes or summer clothes today? jeans and a cozy lil sweater! more wintery What is your favorite winter drink at Starbucks? only time i went to starbucks i got a plain iced coffee. so that.

Do you buy or make your Christmas cards? both Do you regret things often, or do you make the right decisions for you? i regret many things after some afterthought. in the moment i think i make good desicions but it often comes back to bite me in the ass when i realized i was wrong. At what time does it get dark in the winter where you live? like 3-4 lol Is there anyone that you miss and wish you could re-connect with? we’re still connected but i miss the very close friendship i had with my elementary school bestie Are you scared of disappointing people? yeah some people. but not most people, they can be disappointed as much as they want. Has the fear of disappointing others ever made a decision for you? sure What color are the last pair of gloves you bought? black and white, present for mom

What was the last thing you wore that was leopard print? cant remember. probably an accessory Do you decorate for Christmas? yeah i like to spruce my room up What color is your tree? pine tree color Would you rather be an elf or a unicorn? elf, who the fuck wanna be a horse Do you wonder why unicorns are suddenly a craze? hello, “2009″

Do you own Christmas pajamas? i wish for new ones every year and every year i end up ripping them What time of year do you start listening to Christmas music? after december exams Do you make your own ornaments? nahh Does it snow where you live? yeah alot What is something you do daily? chat with my friends, moisturize, doodle Do you like it when it snows in December? yeah it’s a necessity for the christmas mood Are you hoping for a white Christmas? yes and im gonna get one How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? like 6? Are you good or bad at saying no to people and canceling plans when needed? i really dont like to cancel and say no because it fucking sucks when people do that to me, but i know how to put my foot down. What color are your snow boots? my snow nike running shoes? white

Are you an addict? used to be an alcoholic, now im just mildly addicted to nicotine