#gone silly innit

[skimmeh]

This gotta be the funniest clip I could ever- ... They are the silliest

[inhidingxoxo3637]

Me on Friday watching the girlies live blog Mugello

[816wdc]

😍 lando x fem!reader with the prompt

"Can you preheat the apartment? I'm on my way home. "

- "what are you, banana bread?"

Maybe she's cold like allllll the time, even in the summer (it's me, I'm her)

chilly ✹ ln4 x reader

hello anon ^_^ thank you for the request! i kinda flipped the dialogue because i thought it flowed better, but lmk what u think :) this is officially my first f1-related writing ive put out into the world, so comments are greatly appreciated!

word count: 475

notes: mostly casual dialogue, not proofread. about a phone call between reader and lando! no use of y/n. i also dont think its explicitly stated reader is fem, so take it how you will!

It was freezing.

Not really, of course. It was June, in London, in one of the worst heat waves ever recorded. But you’d spent all day in the office, which had its aircon on blast to accommodate for the heat. You can’t really blame whoever was in charge of that, really. It was over 30 degrees out and any sane person would be boiling.

And yet, here you were, trembling even as you signed off for the day and pulled out your cell phone. It was a ritual, at this point, to call Lando once you were off work. Going through the motions of pulling up his contact and hitting ‘call’ didn’t even require your attention anymore.

Lando’s voice crackled to life almost immediately when the call connected. “Hello, darling. I was wondering when you’d call.”

A soft smile bloomed on your face just at the sound of his voice as you stood from your desk and gathered your things. “Hi, Lando,” you reply. His infectious joyful energy seeped into you even through the phone, and a little laugh could be heard as you continued to speak. “It’s been so cold in the office today, but I’m on my way home now.”

A content hum came from the other line. “Finally. Feels like you’ve been gone forever.” An amused exhale escapes you at that. “You won’t be cold once you step outside, though. Boiling today, innit?”

You groan, the stickiness of the air clogging your lungs as soon as you step outside. “Yes, I’m outside now. I’m sure you’ve got the air on in my apartment. Can you just… grab me a blanket that I can wrap up in once I’m home?” 

The question embarrasses you almost immediately after it leaves your lips. Complaining about how hot it is, then asking your boyfriend to grab you a blanket seems silly. It kind of is. “The aircon is always freezing. I don’t care how hot it is outside,” you say, a whiny lilt as you talk over Lando’s squeaking laugh.

“Wow. Over 30 degrees out and of course you’re asking me for a blanket,” he starts, though he’s still laughing more than he is talking. “But yes, darling, I will preheat the couch for you with tea and blankets.”

A real laugh comes from you as you approach the entrance to the tube station. “Preheat? What am I, like, banana bread or something?”

Both of you were laughing now, Lando’s coming out broken as you waited underground for your train. “Banana bread sounds fantastic. You’ve made me hungry, now! Ugh, done me dirty. Jon won’t allow that,” he groans.

Another hum from you as the ticker board says your train is only a minute away. “Okay, okay. My train is here. I’ll be home in ten, my love. See you.”

“Right. See you soon, you loaf.”

let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

[nsharks]

sharky im a mess. my dog died….it’s been very difficult…i just cremated him

could you give me some kind words? or a small comforting drabble?

😔he was 10 years and 7 months old…recently we found out he has a heart disease but it was too late…

you’re not much older than me but i kinda see you as a experienced person 🥺

i would really appreciate it!

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

simon comforts you in his own way

The bulk of his body presses against your back; hot skin, a degree or two hotter than the silent tears that stain your cheeks. He's been talking quietly in your ear about a team member of his, a sleepy low grumble, but it's been difficult to catch what he is saying as your mind strays to lingering grief. Front teeth dig into your bottom lip to silence the evidence. It's been weeks. You shouldn't be crying about it still.

Finally, he notices— he always does.

Rough-tipped fingers halt against your arm. "Love?"

A sharp inhale. "Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

His breath caresses your neck. His fingers work their way up to your cheek, which he can't see, but you know that—with a swipe of his thumb— he can most definitely feel the treks of salt. "You're crying."

A choke bubbles at your lips. You try to scoot away from him but a cage of strong arms prohibits even an inch between your bodies.

"What is it?" he presses. He moves on top, knees pinned around yours, and his dark eyes narrowing in concern as you continue crying. There is no hiding it, not from him.

"Nothing, Simon. Please— just keep telling me your story and we can just—"

"Forget the story. Tell me what's got you like this." Large hands stroke the hair out of your face, but sticky tears keep hold of a few strands. Then, his eyes soften— knowing. "It's about him, innit? Shoeshine?"

The mention makes your face find purchase in the crook of his neck and you sob harder. "I know you think it's silly. He was... just a rabbit and he's been gone for over a month, but I— fuck, I don't know why I'm crying all of a sudden. I'm sorry."

"Stop that," he chastises lowly. "Don't apologize."

"You must think it's stupid." Your cheeks flare. All of the death he has seen— all of the times he should have cried, but never did.

There's a pause as he collects the right words, but his touch continues to comfort you.

"No," is all he comes up with— but a kiss to your hairline says more.

Then, it's your turn to speak. He lays back down behind you, holding you closer so that his heartbeat lulls yours back into a gentle rhythm. You find yourself telling him about that silly rabbit that you loved for years; how he would follow you to the bathroom, how he chewed on your brand new leather flats right before a job interview.

Simon listens. He hums and kisses the dip of your neck. He doesn't offer many words; you don't need him to. He lets you cry until you've fallen asleep.

[wzrd-wheezes]

As Long as we Live - Platonic marauders x reader

AN - Hello! first time i’ve written something recently so… apologies if it’s not as good as it usually is. this is a bit of a self indulgent fic about some feelings i’ve been having recently about growing up and friendship. i hope you enjoy <3

Y/N chewed on her lip, teeth pulling at a loose bit of skin until she tasted blood. She stared at the ground, it was raining, slowly but with big, fat droplets that slowly darkened the concrete below her. It was cold out, an end of summer chill in the air; she hoisted her knees up close to her chest.

It was supposed to be a nice evening, a chance for all of her friends to meet up at the pub for the evening before the summer ended and they all went their separate ways again. It was shit being an adult, Y/N decided. Gone were the days of their careless afternoons spent doing god knows what god knows where. They had all got jobs now. Actual jobs that required you to show up every day.

They had all worked at some point or other, little Saturday jobs that gave them enough money to do what they wanted on the weekends. Remus had worked in a corner shop, which suited their friend group well as he would slyly slip packs of cigarettes or the occasional bottle of whisky into his bag when his boss wasn’t looking. James worked in a bar and spent most of his evenings letting women old enough to be his mother chat him up with the aim of getting a decent amount of tips. And Sirius, well, no one really knew what he did but money wasn’t particularly an issue for him. He’d often make comments about his parents sending him money to keep him out of their way. No one ever could tell if he was joking or not.

Y/N’s train of thought was broken when the door of the pub swung open and then suddenly slammed shut. She glanced up, a particularly rosy cheeked Remus standing before her.

“Thought you’d got lost or something,” he grinned, leaning against the wooden structure of the smoking shelter, “Grim out here, isn’t it?” he nodded his head upwards at the rain that pattered against the plastic roof.

“Yeah, sorry. I was just about to come back inside.” Y/N uncrossed her legs. She was perched on the table top of an old wooden picnic bench and her legs dangled over the edge.

“Keep me company while I smoke this?” Remus took the cigarette that he had tucked behind his ear and put it between his lips, “Everything alright?”

Y/N nodded, reaching into her pocket and handing Remus her lighter before he even got the chance to ask for it. He was always losing his.

“Cheers.” he flicked the lighter open, the small flame illuminating his features for a moment before he snapped it shut again, “Go on then, what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing, I’m fine. Just got a bit warm in there is all.”

Remus nodded, clearly not believing a word of it. He took a drag of his cigarette, turning to face her.

“Bullshit.” Remus exhaled as he spoke, wafting the smoke away with his had as to not blow it into her face.

He dug around in the pocket of his jacket, pulling out the pack of cigarettes, took one out, lit it and handed it to her. Y/N smiled a little as she accepted it.

“You’re not going to leave until I tell you, are you?”

“Absolutely not.”

Y/N nodded solemnly, bringing the cigarette to her lips, “It’s silly really.”

“S’not silly if it’s making you sad.”

“I’m sad we’re all growing up.”

Her words hung in the air. In her head, the whirlwind of thoughts made sense but it sounded so silly and trivial when she verbalised it.

“Yeah, it’s scary innit.”

Y/N looked at him, her eyebrows furrowing, “You feel it too?”

“Yeah, course.” Remus nodded, “Weird not being a kid anymore. Having bills to pay and that. Having a job where you can’t turn up hungover.” He laughed, smoke billowing from his lips.

“That last one is the real kicker.”

“Uhuh.”

“Do you think we’ll all still be friends?” her voice softened a little, her words edged with worry.

“Course.” Remus said definitely, “You think that you can get rid of us that easily?”

“It’s just… I worry that we’ll all get too busy, you know? I mean, James and Lily have a house. They’ll be having a kid before you know it.”

“Yeah and they’ll need all our help looking after Baby Prongs,” Remus chuckled, “If it’s anything like it’s dad it’ll be a right handful.”

Remus moved to sit next to her on the table, his shoulder brushing against hers as he sat down.

“Don’t worry, eh?” he nudged her arm with his elbow, “We’re still only young, got our whole lives ahead of us-”

The door of the pub burst open again and James and Sirius came tumbling out, both in a fit of laughter.

“Oi, have you two finished your little mother’s meeting or what?” Sirius strode over to them.

“Pads bought you both a pint but seeing as you didn’t come back in, er, we drank them.” James shrugged.

“So, what are we gossiping about.” Sirius plucked the cigarette from Remus’s lips and put it between his own.

“Thief.” Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius just flipped him the bird.

“Why’d you look so glum, Y/N?” James’s eyebrows narrowed concernedly.

“Oh. Is it a melancholy mothers meeting?” Sirius crouched down so he was eye level with Y/N.

“Little bit. I just had too much to drink and started getting sentimental.” Y/N tried to brush it off, “Sorry, I feel like I’ve brought down the vibe.”

“Don’t be daft.” Sirius flicked the ash from his cigarette, “Remember that time James had a couple of drinks and started crying because there was an old lady sat in the pub on her own?”

“Hey!” James protested, “She just looked so lonely. I couldn’t stop thinking about how her husband was probably dead and-”

“Stop before you start blubbering again, Prongs.” Remus teased.

“I was just thinking about how we’re all growing up and how we’re all going our separate ways,” Y/N confessed, “I dunno. I just got sad because I was thinking about what if we all drifted apart.”

“Well, that’s not going to happen, is it?” Sirius said, “What’s that theory? If you’ve been friends for over seven years then you’re going to be friends forever.”

“That’s a fact, is it?” Remus questioned, smirking.

Sirius shrugged, “I read it in a magazine at the hairdressers so it must be.”

“Yeah, I agree with Pads.” James crossed his arms across his chest affirmatively, “We’ll be friends as long as we live. That’s a fact.”

Y/N smiled, the achy, sick feeling in the pit of her stomach disappearing for the first time that night as she looked at her friends. Her three, stupid, idiot friends. She wouldn’t trade them for the world.

[g1deonthefirst]

The way people react to John and Mercy’s dynamic reminds me of how people react to so many dynamics without a “perfect victim” but mainly the one where the abuser is the “calm collected one” and pushes the victim over and over to react and then when they react in less than perfect fashion the abuser can point to it and say they deserved it or are crazy. Do you think we’ll see the return of mercymorn and augustine in Alecto the Ninth or since we already have characters filling those roles/trying to in proximity to john, they’ll stay gone?

i mean this is literally it innit like you've summed it up so perfectly anon. over and over john violates mercymorn's boundaries, undermines her, and embarrasses her, and then when she explodes at him he gets to act like she's being silly and irrational. obviously we see this play out over and over in htn but it's really concerning to me that some people in the fandom fall for it wholesale. like people are literally out here trying to diagnose mercymorn with BPD and saying she experiences inappropriate anger.

as for who will return: i think there's a pretty high probability that augustine will return, because he got swallowed by the stoma and i expect that the stoma is going to play a major role in atn. mercymorn's death feels rather more final, but i'm not discounting the possibility of john doing a second resurrection somehow and bringing her back, maybe mindwiped again. honestly at this point i feel like anything could happen, but i do hope that we see mercymorn in ATN, at least in flashbacks!

[cripplecharacters]

I think I might've sent an ask here asking about writing a character with tinnitus recently. well, as I looked around for more information, I realized I have tinnitus too! AND visual snow syndrome. they're both mild enough to not notice most of the time, but I can hear a mid-range tone even as I write this lol. funny how that works out innit

Hello lovely 🤗

Ah, yeah, that happens sometimes 😄. I've heard this a lot from other people actually, especially for people who've gone a long time undiagnosed because they never realized that it was actually something. That feeling of looking in a mirror while saying "Hey, this seems familiar". It is very silly how things work out sometimes. (Also we got your ask [it's the only one we have on tinnitus so] and it's in the drafts in case your wondering!)

~ mod Virus 🌸

[huntersscythe]

INCORRECT QUOTES from old/new versions of a book I've written. — POC friendly Reader/Mc/Yuu ,, yandere implications as this is based off a different book of mine. (Mistakes made on purpose 💔)

[ICQ: Wrong timing as always]

The first year group watching Deuce beat someone to near death

Yuu: Well then... that's some horrible luck, innit it?

Yuu, nudging Epel: I don't doubt they'll be gone in a jiffy.

Jack: We're in the courtyard—

Ace whisper yelling: Can we please just focus on how to stop him?!

[ICQ: THAT'S NOT WHAT HE IS...]

Yuu: I'm wondering how you can't handle some sewage watered down tampon with rats fur on it by yourself.

Grim: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME??

Crowley whispering: Dear fucking—

Ace: SEWAGE WATER TAMPON WITH RATS FUR—?!

[ICQ: A morning without you]

Yuu leaving the cuddle-pile they found themselves into to make breakfast

Yuu, thinking: They'll be fine—

[CRASH FOLLOWING A SCREAM]

Yuu making pancake batter faster: ....it's fine—

[ICQ: the switch up is crazy]

Vil to anyone —

Vil: ...You want me to drink this? Kill yourself first.

Vil: Roll over and die and maybe I'll allow you to touch me.

Vil: walk yourself out pest, or should I kick you out myself?!

Vil to Yuu —

Vil: you can use me however you wish you know...

Vil: I'm in good hands with you my remedy, I'm certain.

Vil: My silly angel... I'm crazy about you. Don't forget that okay? ♡

Shorter than the light content one but it's expected. You can see this as romantic or platonic, in a different au or the same one, don't care. No exact race for Yuu in this one.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

since i’d already played the original trilogy approximately seven million times in french, i finally got round to playing french apollo justice instead. just finished it and hoooo boy was this localisation just as interesting

just like in the og trilogy, the entire thing now takes place in france (presumably paris, though they didn’t specify in this one). at least there aren’t earthquakes this time so it doesn’t feel quite as surreal.

apollo’s “i’m fine!” catchphrase is now “tout va bien !” which means “everything’s fine!”

some of the names have been translated again. for example, trucy is now called “Vérité” which not only is the french form of the english name “Verity”, but it also is the literal french word for “truth”, which gives some dialogues a double meaning whenever they’re discussing the truth. “Vous dites... la vérité... Apollo Justice... ?”

they did not change lamiroir’s name. they did however change machi tobaye to “Tomas Kashkash”, make of that what you will

in the first case, phoenix and kristoph use formal pronouns when addressing each other in court, and informal pronouns outside of court, which is fun. by the final case they’re exclusively using formal pronouns since their friendship has pretty much ended. (it’s a similar case with klavier and daryan, who switch to formal pronouns when they’re trying to be serious/professional and when their friendship starts to splinter.) (apollo and trucy use informal pronouns on each other pretty much the whole way through.)

trucy says “Mééééééé !” a lot

she also calls apollo “Pollo”

wocky kitaki (”Willy” in french) is my fricking favourite oh my god. he speaks in such verlan-ified slang i had to painstakingly decipher every single thing he said. i love him. when he said “sakom” i felt that 😔✊ he’s nigh-incomprehensible just like he was in the english version. absolute king.

in order to make wocky so iconic they apparently had to sacrifice klavier though, because in this version he is english. ENGLISH. AS IN, FROM ENGLAND. usually the french localisation takes its cues from the english version so i thought they’d keep him german, and then when he started calling people “miss” instead of “Fräulein” i thought maybe they’d made him american, like he was in the original japanese version, but NO IT TURNS OUT HE’S JUST ENGLISH??? LIKE FROM ENGLAND????? U WOT M8 JOLLY GOOD OLD CHAP CHEWSDAY INNIT????? I’M FROM ENGLAND, THIS IS THROWING ME OFF TOO MUCH

and they didn’t even commit to the englishification!! he barely says any english stuff at all! he sometimes says “miss” or “mister” and that’s... about it? he doesn’t even have any “Achtung, baby!” equivalent!! he calls apollo “M. Grand Front” which yeah means basically the same thing as herr forehead but it’s entirely in french so what’s the point?? god if you were gonna curse him by making him from freaking england then at least go all the way?? at least his “Objection !” sounds cool i guess...

and his name is “Konrad” in this version. that’s fine because “clavier” means “keyboard” in french (like the thing you type on) so i get that it would have sounded silly. but imo they should have gone in the opposite direction and picked a random english word to name him then. they should have named him Stapler or something. why’d they give him a normal name. he is Stapler Gavin in my heart

ema calls him “minet pailleté” btw which yeah pretty much just means glimmerous fop. (she studied in england too in this version WHY THE FRICK IS EVERYONE ENGLISH)

there were some fun french puns, such as calling phoenix apollo’s “mentor” (french for “mentor”, if you couldn’t guess) and then calling him “menteur” which means liar and sounds very similar

“I killed a man named “Smith” with a bottle because I am an evil human being.”

[faeriecinna]

Five Things I Like About Writing

Thanks @somethingclevermahogony and @theeccentricraven for the tag! Be warned I'm probably gonna ramble.

1) Inner Child Healing: Since I was super little, reading all the time and watching my dad write his book, I always said I wanted to be a writer. I gave up on that while I was still in formal education (thank you, Gifted Kid Burnout) so going back to my roots now and writing my goofy lil novels is something I know little me would think is super fucking cool.

2) Self Indulgence: My biggest pet peeve when reading is when I want to read something so incredibly specific that I know no one else will have wrote yet and it gnaws at me for weeks, so writing allows me to write what I want to read and have it instantly and readily available lmao.

3) World/Character Building: As a chronic (maladaptive) daydreamer who was told several times as a child that their imagination was too wild, getting to spend hours dreaming up my own little worlds and characters and then bringing them to life on paper is like a dream come true. And getting to share them with other people??? Stunning.

4) Productivity: Before seriously working on my WIPs, when I had a day off work I'd find myself aimlessly wandering around the house tidying, or rotting in bed and I hated it and would honestly rather have just gone to work. But now that I have my silly little dudes and their silly little worlds to write about, I feel productive on a day off whether I write 300 words or 3K. Good for my mental health innit.

5) An Excuse To Read: Linking back to the above point, I kinda stopped reading for a while after college because I found that I didn't feel productive enough if I was just chilling out with a book - but NOW it counts as research sooooo 😈

Ans I wanna tag @darkangel319 @panticwritten and @jinnybinghamsghost

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Light on the Darkside - Chapter Eleven.

Remember darlings, it's double update today, so if you see this chapter first, remember you have chapter ten to read prior! :)

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 3,647

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Topics cover depression, suicide and eating disorders. Minors DNI!

If cloud nine existed, James was sat right upon it, standing with his arm around his girl while talking and drinking with her friends and sister, unable to keep from turning to gaze at her fondly. There she was, at last, right by his side. She looked amazing for the extra weight she’d gained, his eyes picking out the obvious, of course. Boobs. His hand moved to rest on the other.  

“Just so you know, I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands off this, innit,” he began, squeezing her bum firmly. “You’ve got an arse, Ells bells! I’m so fucking proud of you. And horny, because you looking fucking top grade sexy!”  

He leaned to nibble her neck, making her giggle, Ella turning to softly thump his chest before looking up at him. “Calm down!”  

“Nah.” They happily fell into another kiss then, enjoying it for a few moments before he pulled away, grabbing her hand. “Come with me a minute.” 

Placing their drinks down on the bar, he then led her in the direction of the doors, nodding at the bouncer on the way out into the still warm early October night, moving to the side of the club away from the noise of the music. There, he wrapped his arms around her again, humming happily before giving her another kiss.  

“So, why didn’t you call me?” 

Ahh. She might have known she’d have that coming. “Truth?” 

“Always, babe.” 

Hiding her face against his chest for a second, she took a deep breath. “I was nervous!” 

His facial expression was an absolute picture. “You fucking what?” 

“You heard!” she laughed, shaking her head.  

“But it’s me!” he continued loudly, curling his lip and having her in soft hysterics.  

“I’m aware it sounds ridiculous now, but I was. I had all these silly thoughts, like wondering if you might have gotten out and gone off me, or met someone else.” His eye roll was immense. “Needless to say, I’m not anymore!” 

“You shitting well better not be, darlin’!” He then looked her up and down again, mouth spreading into a wide grin. “Seriously, you look so fucking gorgeous.” 

Beaming, she wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers weaving into his beautiful hair. “Looking pretty mint yourself, BFG.”  

They stayed out the front talking a little more and kissing for a few minutes, James taking her hand again, leading her back inside to introduce her to his band. The rest of Nocturnal Descent were occupying one of the big tables outside in the spacious beer garden, Ella finally able to put faces to all the names of the men she’d heard so much about.  

“Nah, honey,” Steve began upon giving her a meeting hug, “what’s someone as cute as you doing with Kingston here? Fucks sake, you need to upgrade. Get yourself a man who doesn’t fart so bad, you feel like you’re in the gas chamber. Or one who’s got a decent sized cock instead of a worm.”  

She couldn’t help but laugh. Mainly because she knew the former to be true, and the latter she’d bet, from what she’d tentatively felt pressing against her a few times, was very much false. 

James arched an eyebrow. “Well, that ain’t you on either count, is it, fucking flatulent, pin-dicked twat.”  

To his credit, Steve guffawed, gripping James’s shoulder before making as if he was about to punch him in the balls. “Ya dickead,” he growled, turning his attention to Ella. “So, Ella. What do I have to do to get Andrea’s phone number?” 

“Ask her yourself when she comes to stay with me. However, if you’re only like, out for the ‘I shagged a sex addict’ trophy then she’ll let you down, mate. It’s sleeping around spontaneously that lead her into treatment. And that’s all I’m saying. Save her privacy.”  

How very Ella, James thought proudly, snort laughing when Steve pouted. 

“Alright, what about the honey with the massive tits over yonder taking to your sis?” 

“And he calls me a tart,” Janes snorted, sipping his pint. 

“Single,” she confirmed, giggling at the speed he moved down to the next table with. Turning back to James, she leaned to kiss his cheek. “You having a good night?” 

“I am,” he revealed, “but I don’t wanna stay much longer. Just wanna spend some time with you. If you like, you can come stay at mine?” 

Oh yes. She liked.  

They left at midnight, Ella feeling a little buzz, James not so much other than the one he had from walking back up the high street towards home hand in hand with her. 

“So, what was it like at the place you were transferred to? And how long since you came out?” she asked, lighting a cigarette and offering him one he took with thanks. 

“Little, I am fucking telling you, worlds apart from Moor Acres. My therapist is top grade amazing, such a fucking sound guy. First session I had with him was the day I arrived. We just sat and chilled, talking about music and drinking tea for the first half hour. In those thirty fucking minutes, he figured out more about me than Dr. Beaumont did in five and a half months, innit. As for how long I’ve been out, just over two weeks. How about you?” 

“Eleven days, and I’m so thrilled for you, that your last month of being in an institution was so positive: it was one of the things I worried about, after you’d gone. You might have been sent to a bleedin’ shithole of a place and not made progress, and without me there to help you. For whatever that was worth.” 

He stopped then, moving into her path, touching his fingers beneath her chin to lift it gently. “It was fucking worth everything, babe. Everything. That was the only thing that was hard, being away from you. Not having you there to unload everything that was in my head, or just sit and laugh with, forget about it all for a while.” He paused, dropping a kiss to her lips. “Nearly told ‘em to turn around about twenty fucking times along the way, I felt so bad for leaving you. Fucking broke me a bit, innit, doing it like that. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have left, though. I needed to, Ella, to get where I am now.”  

The way he’d done it truly had left her feeling completely broken for a time, but she saw it so clearly, how it radiated through him. He could cope with it, the noise in his head, those feelings of despair. Whoever the therapist was who he’d seen at the place he’d ended up, she could have kissed him. He’d definitely helped him much more than Dr. Beaumont.  

“I won’t lie, it was pants, being without you. I was half heartbroken, half bleedin’ livid with you, when I sat and read that letter,” she began. 

“Yeah, thought you would be,” he interjected with.  

“Sat and cried for an hour, blamed myself, had Andrea give me some really sound advice and like, state again what I knew but didn’t want to let myself believe. Then, I knew what I had to do. Get better, get released, and find you.” She beamed, holding her arms wide. “Here I am!” 

He threw his head back, his rumbling laugh sounding like music to her. “Yeah, little. Here you fucking are. I swear, seeing you in the crowd, best surprise ever. I was just like ‘what the fucking fuck? She’s here! Shitting hell, she’s right fucking there!’ when I saw you. Couldn’t believe it.”  

They continued to walk at a leisurely place, James telling her a few stories he’d amassed from his month in Birmingham, Ella sharing a few of her own. 

“He was moved the week I was let out, big Keith. Sent to Broadmoor, so I heard. Went absolutely psycho and almost killed another patient, so they had no choice. I saw the blood all down the stairs, it was fucking brutal,” she spoke, James’s eyes widening, although he wasn’t all too surprised. He’d quietly wondered during his own time there, just how many chances of rehabilitation they would give to the twenty-eight stone, six feet seven behemoth of fury that was big Keith.  

“That don’t really surprise me. He used to sit up all night, howling like a fucking wolf unless they shot him up with tranqs. Wouldn’t take his meds half the time, attacked the staff daily. Way worse than how I was,” he spoke, a scent of familiarity drifting under his nose. “You hungry, by the way? We’re getting near to Prezzo, and they actually do proper pizza in there, none of that carboard tasting shit. If that’s too scary, they do salad and all that, too.” 

Hmmm, she could eat, she supposed. It had been seven hours since her small plate of pasta for dinner. “Yeah, alright then. Let me get it, though. You bought me enough drinks already tonight.” 

“Nope, he spoke, steering her over to the other side of the high street when the traffic broke. “I’ve got music money burning a hole in my wallet. Apparently, while I was away the record took off hugely in Japan. I have a few more zero’s than I’m used to on the ole’ bank balance.” One stop at Prezzo, a small back and forth over Ella’s request for ham and pineapple – and James’s deep distain over such – and a pizza constructed with half that and half tandoori chicken was purchased, the pair on the move again once more.  

“Oh, shit! That building is amazing, I love it!” she spoke as the old factory housing James and Steve’s flat came into view, Ella wondering why the hell he’d referred to something with so much character as a shithole. It really wasn’t, not even when they got inside and climbed the stairs up to the second floor.  

The old brickwork gave it character, the original windows too, James taking his keys from the thick wallet chain he wore and unlocking the door of number six when they arrived there.  

“Bathroom is that door there,” he spoke upon entering, pointing to his right after switching on the light, a light that flickered for a few seconds before the bulb popped. “Ahh, shit! Fuck, don’t think we’ve got any more bulbs. Hang on.” He strode for the kitchen area, lighting a candle on his way and using it to illuminate the cupboard under the sink, Ella just about able to see the sofa through the gloom, placing the pizza box down on the coffee table and taking a seat.  

“Any luck?” 

“Nah, I’ll have to go get some tomorrow. Fucks sake. Don’t matter though, we’ve got about a billion fucking candles, innit.” He went about lighting them, the space nicely illuminated, moving next to the stereo in the corner and taking a CD from one of the shelves that ran the length of the wall. Thier music collection was staggering.  

“What’s this that you’ve put on? It’s very atmospheric,” she spoke, James shrugging his leather jacket off and hanging it on the corner of the armchair, kicking his boots off and joining her on the sofa.  

“This is that guy Varg Vikernes we talked about a while back, you know, the actual church burner,” he replied, opening the pizza box and taking a slice out.  

“Hold on, I might be able to impress you here. I think I know what his project is called, Jane loves it. What is it now,” she began, clicking her fingers and winding her hand around as she tried to remember. “Burdum? Bursim?” 

“Close,” he spoke, taking another bite. “Burzum, but ten points for trying, little.” 

“Thanks!” she chirped on a laugh, reaching for a slice, watching him crinkle his nose up. “What? I like pineapple on a pizza. It’s mint. Get over it.” 

His reply dripped sarcasm. “I’m sure Italians the world over would agree.”  

“Oh, don’t be concerned if I like, only have one or two slices. This is a big pizza and this is a lot for me to eat in one sitting,” she spoke, tucking her chin a little before taking a small bite. 

“Nah, I ain’t gonna monitor you. It’s a scary food, too. Dough, cheese.”  

It touched her greatly, that he remembered all of this. “Yeah. Like, it’s less scary now, but I keep reminding myself what Dr. Beaumont told me. Every meal I manage to eat is an accomplishment, an extra mile on my health journey. It helps. I finally had a breakthrough with it when I’d almost reached my target weight. Mary told me to stand in my undies and look at myself, then showed me a picture of how I looked when I was first admitted.”  

“I bet it was shocking, right?” James asked, starting on his second slice. God, he was starving.  

Reaching for her bag, she pulled out her wallet, taking from it the folded-up picture she kept with her always to remind her how far she’d come. “Here, see for yourself.” 

Taking it, he looked down, dropping the pizza slice back into the box and covering his mouth with his hand. “Shitting hell.” To say she looked like death was an understatement. And he’d thought she’d been scarily thin at just over a stone heavier when he’d first met her. “Ella... fuck. Seeing you like that makes me wanna fucking cry, innit, and I don’t cry easy. That’s twice with you now, fucking dickhead.”  

Taking the picture back, she leaned to kiss his cheek, stroking his hair. “When was the first time?” 

“When they were driving me away from Moor Acres.” He looked very uncomfortable at revealing that, frowning, side eyeing her. “Knob.” 

The snort of laughter that came from her was huge, tucking her wallet away again as she giggled. “My grumpy church burner.”  

“To use one of your favourite expressions, shut your hole,” he retorted, only succeeding in making her laugh more. Oh, how she’d missed him. Even when he was pissed off at her. He didn’t stay that way for long, though, nudging her with a soft elbow and turning his head to kiss her shoulder. “Still think you’re awesome.” 

After eating three slices of his half of the pizza, Ella managing one and a little bit, he rolled them a joint, stretching out on the sofa with his head in her lap. The feel of her nails combing over his scalp and through his hair was a comfort he’d sorely missed over the last seven weeks, reaching to stroke the side of her neck as he smiled up at her.  

“It’s just me and you. No other patients, no orderlies or nurses watching us like fucking hawks. Just us.” 

How they had both longed for it, the simplicity of being together without watchful eyes constantly on them. Still, Ella almost felt like Tony was about to bark an order at her as she slipped a hand beneath James’s t shirt, idly stroking the side of his abs while they chatted.  

“I’m telling you, I lasted an hour when I went see her and my sister for the first time. She’s still coming out with all the same crap, that I’ve somehow brought my mental illness on myself. I just stood up, told her I’d had enough, and took Sam out for a drink instead so I could catch up with her without being fucking hen pecked to bloody death,” he explained of his first visit home after being released, glowering at the memory of his mother being, well, her usual difficult self.  

“You know what it sounds like to me?”  

“What?” he asked, handing her the joint. 

She was thoughtful for a moment before waving her hand dismissively. “No, it’s probably not my place to say.” 

He prompted her again. “It is. Spill.” 

“I think she’s deflecting, like, going in really hard with saying it’s because of your music and lifestyle to absolve herself from her own part in your issues.” 

Michael had said very similar. “Nah, you’re totally right, darlin’. It’s exactly what she does, it's like, if she makes enough noise about the other person, she thinks people won’t notice her, what she says and does.” 

“And that’s up to her to acknowledge,” she sighed, passing the joint back, her hand retuning to his hair.  

“Innit? I know she loves both me and my sister to bits, but I’m not excusing her any longer, or putting up with it. Me leaving the other night was what Michael advised in therapy. Set a boundary, then if she continues to cross it, calmly walk away. So that’s what I did. Anyway, I don’t wanna talk about the duchess. What you been up to since you got out?” 

“Not much, really. Just spending time with mum and Jane, went back to my yoga class for the first time since I got really ill, had a tentative job hunt.” 

“Any luck there?” 

“Nope,” she asserted, widening her eyes a fraction. “Not unless I want to work in the same old utterly pants job roles I used to. Never going back to bar or supermarket work again.” It would be fair to coin the pair as intelligent underachievers, both only having three and four GCSE’s respectively, only James going on to do his A levels. Ella had taken the GNVQ route, choosing health and social care although she wasn’t sure she wanted to work in either.  

He hadn’t sought anything further academically, taking on mainly factory and doorman work around the band until they’d taken off, his touring schedule making it impossible to hold down a full-time job.  

“Yeah, babe. Don’t blame you. I’ve done bar work before. Total bullshit. Ruins your weekend too as that’s when you get the best shifts as far as tips go,” he agreed, taking another drag on the joint. “I can’t smoke much more of that. I’m proper fucking tired.” 

She frowned concernedly. “Is that because you’re drinking on your meds?” 

“Nah, Michael took me off the ones that made me wanna crash in the afternoon, and I only had three pints tonight. Can’t get drunk or it’ll stop the pills from working. Trust me, I’ll miss getting wankered, but I don’t miss that fucking mess my head was in before I got help.” 

Smiling down at him, she kissed his forehead, taking the joint from him. “I’m proud of you. You’ve worked hard to get through what must have been a hugely heavy weight bearing down on you,” she began, trying to stifle a yawn and not manage it. “Bleedin’ hell, are there crushed up sleeping pills in this weed?”  

“Fucking feels like it, innit?” he laughed. “I didn’t feel this mashed so quickly last night. What I bought off Gaz must be different strains. I’m irritated by that.”  

“Why?” 

“Because my brain is saying sleep, but everything south of my waist is like, ‘Nah, man. You’ve got a top grade girl here, the one you’ve been missing for weeks! Go shag her through the bed!”  

She almost choked on the lungful of smoke, wheezing, softly slapping his shoulder as she spluttered. “I don’t mind not being shagged through the bed tonight, so don’t feel like, all conflicted and stuff.”  

Internally, he breathed a sigh of relief. It could go either way with weed, depending on the type. Just enough and he could have sex for elongated periods before orgasm, too much and as soon as his body hit a bed, he was asleep. It was a balance he couldn’t bank on prior to smoking, but suffice to say the one joint of very strong weed he and Ella had shared most definitely took the wind out of his sails.  

Sitting up, he grabbed a marker pen and shut the pizza box, writing ‘DO NOT EAT’ upon it. “Snedders’ll inhale it otherwise, the lardy cunt.” They made their way to his room, the space much bigger than she was expecting, pulling off her clothes all bar her knickers and top, unhooking her bra beneath it and pulling that off for comfort.  

He made no mention of her leaving it on, remembering her insecurity there. It didn’t matter to him one bit; she could have laid next to him fully clothed and he wouldn’t have cared. Having her beside him was all he wanted. Climbing beneath the deep grey duvet, she happily sank into his arms, enjoying both the look and feel of that gorgeous chest against her bare for the first time. He looked more or less exactly how she pictured he would, and lord, it was a mouthwatering sight.  

“Wow, you were right. This bed is like, the comfiest ever,” she spoke, leaning to kiss him beneath his jaw as they entwined, James resting his hand to her hip and stroking the slender curve. God, it felt so good to hold her and not feel bones jutting out.  

“Told you,” he spoke, kissing her head. “Even comfier for having you in it, too.” 

Her heart thrummed waves of pure happiness, falling into sweet kisses with him before he switched off the lamp and they fell asleep. He was out before her, Ella seeing it was entirely true when he’d told her he was like sleeping next to a corpse, except he ran hot. He didn’t move and he didn’t snore.  

It made a peaceful change to the last man she’d shared a bed with, her ex-boyfriend Ryan over two years before. He’d sounded like malfunctioning power tools whilst he’d slept. She was asleep before she knew it, both of them soothed not only from the strong weed, but what they’d ached for over the past seven weeks. The simplicity of being able to hold each other close once again. 

[nowiamcoveredinyou]

My world

Sherlock x reader

Fluff

The serene afternoon of spring. The rejuvenation of nature, the extremely ethereal weather, all of this gave me extreme joy and peace. The winter was frosty, the winter was cold and painful. It always pains me to see the trees losing it's flowers, it's like losing your special one. It haunts me, the thought of losing the one I love.

I chuckled as the one I love snored lightly as soon as my intrusive thought crept in. As if telling me "lose whom? Me? Never!". Sherlock was taking a nap resting his head on my lap. And I ran my fingers through his curls. The fear of losing a loved one is our eternal fear, both of ours. He lost his bestfriend and it haunts him till this day. In a way he lost his sister too, she was never to be free and we knew it.

It haunted him that he'd lose John watson too. He did everything to take care of him. To protect him. Now I was rather a different case for him. He never wanted to love anyone in his whole life. Yet he says when I entered to his room all he felt was the urge to stay close to me, to protect me, to.. to love me. He did you know, secretly loved me for months, watching me dating other men but never stopped loving me for a moment. He doubted I'd ever love him back, he says he's flawed, he did wrong in the past, but I'm flawed too, I'm no perfection, I've hurted people too, been hurt as well.

So to say, two absolutely fucked up people found comfort in eachother's arms. Who are we to judge? We are just loving eachother. He helped me forget my past and I helped him to do the same. They're not gone though, they're buried deep down, though haunts us still. Why would we care? We're happy here in this scruffy flat, solving crimes.

With little movements he finally opened his eyes and looked straight up at me,

"did you sleep well?" I asked lightly touching his nose.

"yeah I did" he said with his sleepy voice which is cute but... Sexy at the same time, "how long did I sleep?"

"for forty five minutes, not much" I replied, he got up from my lap and sat looking at me,

"how's this fucked up brain?" He asked knowing what a worrier I am, and not the fighting one, the one that worries alot. We formed this word to define a worrisome person too, we are that silly.

"it's fucked up, what can I say" I replied leaning on his chest, now it's his turn to comfort me.

"aww my darling, I hate it, I despise seeing you like this" he replied wrapping an arm around me, "but don't worry, no fingers will be raised at you again" I clunged to him at this, recalling the fingers that actually were raised at me, forever. I never knew I'd loved , that too by this man. "And by fate we met, by ch- "

"fate?" I interrupted raising my head to meet his eyes, "you don't believe in fate do you?"

"I didn't, guess I still don't" he answered, "but fate did give me two rather important people whom I adore, you ofcourse and John" he caressed my cheek with his thumb as he smiled at me, "you two are flawed just like me, you two made mistakes just like me, but as I've told this many times that I still get this terrible thought that we might just all be human, innit?"

I stared at him before answering, "yes, we are, and I deserve you" I leaned again, right where I belong, to him.

"and I hope I deserve you too" he held me tightly. We don't know what our future holds, we don't judge eachother by our pasts, we're here, in this moment and we're happy, in eachother's arms, he often says, you need one person to make you a better person and for him that was John and then me. For me it's him too. He's my world, and I'm his as well.

[21stcenturyschizoidfag]

OK SO. HERE IS.. avery 21stcenturyschizoidfags very silly impromptu mewtuals hunger games simulator thingulator post. this thing was fucking long i didnt realise maybe i'm just crazy and beautiful. will post the next bit after

AS A REMINDER HERE IS THE ROSTER.. i didnt really have any specific metric for who i added i just added who i thought would find this funny to be totally honest. and the caroline polacheks mole v azealia banks spoon thing is a reference to this i just find it really funny because i dont personally like caroline polacheks music also i ahve a facial mole like hers too. OK LETS BEGIN. BTW click on the images to see them better :)

da bloodbath

shaan being so scary like halloween time... ANA FUCKING DOWN LIKE STRAIGHT AWAY due to famed non-binary lesbian ally nicolas cage dracula in the movie renfield 2023... papa pavel and baby emilio working together ahh so cutes.. ram said im NOT starving in here. dee plans to FIGHT. everyone else gets the hell out of there

I FUCKING STRANGLED ISA TO DEATH ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ann doing everyone a favor and scaring that mole out of here.. aviv and cassis working together awww so friendlys. Someone gave proxy bombs which is very scary dont trust him with those his icon is the joker for a reason

day one and fallen tributes

dee and pavel each get stuff from one of numerous stans worldwide. mia sneaks up on mr. flow3 while hes busy writing dracula flow 4.. mr cage dracula and my friend olive feeling adventurous. mariam gets craftyyy and ellie wellie is homesick for equestria.. scott is a feminist as expected and scare-ah lives to see another day

cassis doing some tom and jerry stuff to accy OKAYY.. carolines mole uses its connections to caroline polachek proper (its attached to her face -_-) to get UNFAIR support from a stan. Nobody is surprised. BIGENDER TEAMUP from me and shaan.. I dont know how xe can bear to be around me after i STRANGLED ISA. TO DEATH. The oomfs are going hunting.. and then proxy takes my son hunting. I SURE HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS TO MY SON. & we mourn the loss of two souls. gone too soon.. gone too soon

night one

this broke my heart the fact that emilio is having trouble sleeping like EMILIOOO ): I LOVE YOU.. max doing everyone a favor by killing carolines mole BUT with the INCREDIBLY tragic loss of ELLIEEE.. mia and proxy chilling.. vi being an incredible chef and resourceful at that. is anyone surprised (smiles beautifully). the INSANE triple combo death of two incredible gay men and a beautiful and insane bigender. TRAGIC TRAGIC SHIT? Pavel spares the life of mr. flow3. Cassis has a little nap in a tree.. mariam having a mariam moment and ram REFUSING to allow it. mariam LIVES. ann like vi is very skilled in the kitchen and everyone claps and smiles. Me and that FUCKING spoon seem to have hit it off

day two and fallen tributes

emilio, accy & cassis are feeling adventurous asf.. me + olive + ram + sarah decide its time for food innit. AVIV PAVEL DEE AND MIA DIE. JUST LIKE THAT? THEY JUST DIE. THEY JSUT DIED? LIKE THAT. THEYRE DEAD NOW. LIKE BYE EVERYONE THEYRE JUST DEAD? i will mourn them. mariam and max are IN. THE TRENCHES. watch out please.. proxy and mr. flow3 are getting their battle tactics in

Rest in peace to these fucking legends. We lost so many in ONE FUCKING ROUND. so many incredible individuals just gone like that. Greyed out pavel kitten and slay sister callie is making me scream laughing. Scoot and paddington greyed out is like who are these two little scamps. Good lord. GOOD LORD.

night two

Ram is sick what the hell when did that happen. IM IN TEARS OVER MARIAM BEGGING ANOTHER PERSON TO KILL HER. LIKE GIRL I KNOW ITS THE HUNGER GAMES BUT IM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW CAN YOU STOP? & LIKE ASKING MY SON TOO?? trenches. cassis sabotages THE SAD FROWNER scare-ah (maybe its for the best..) A spoon climbs a tree. i would love to see that. mr flow3 and ann also climb trees.. Olive is so focking cold. Dogboy bonding.. theyre giving proxy more fucking explosives i swear to g-d. OK accy looking at the night sky did make me a bit emotional because like he IS an alien.. is he homesick too? im so sorry. they took your ufo away from you to put you in these sick and twisted games..

TO BE CONTINUED..

[noyaetnox]

HEARTSLABYUL HEADCANONS:

The series: DIASOMNIA / HEARTSLABYUL / OCTAVINELLE / POMEFIORE / SAVANACLAW

- will not confess no matter what and you can't tell me otherwise. He'll be bottling up all his emotions like there's no tomorrow

-> truly believes there is no chance you'll like him back. I mean, he was a bitch to you! He totally was rude and - how can you love someone like that?

-> Trey is slowly but surely getting tired of hearing the same thing over and over again from Riddle - goes to you, pleading to either confess or tell his house warden that you do not hold any special emotions towards him

- Riddle becomes much softer after you start dating

-> the whole of Heartslabyul noticed. Adeuce will be pleading with you to never leave their housewarden because suddenly living with him is doable

- Ace and Deuce will also react terribly to the news of you two dating (Ace worse), because what about that little shit made you like him? Are you okay? Were you bribed? Do you need help? Blink twice-

"You actually like him? For real? No cap?" Yes🤨? "But he's an annoying tyrant," jokes on you I'm a brat tamer 😋☝️ and into that shit.

-> will consider finally trying that therapy thing you keep talking about

- dates with Riddle are the best, you feel like royalty with how he treats you. Sometimes, though, he let's his tongue slip and says something he doesn't mean, but you can tell by his expression he doesn't mean it fr so you're fine (you then talk about it and he apologizes and you get lots of hugs)

- it is kept secret for the longest time, because he's worried people will see you as weakness of his (you totally are), so he tries. It fails. Bro has the biggest grin on his face the second he spots you. I'm talking visible hearts and sparkles

- no PDA. Won't even hold your hand. Please let me hold your hand 😔 will collar you if you pull something like holding hands or kiss his cheek, ONE OF THE SEVEN FORBID YOU KISS HIM ON THE LIPS IN PUBLIC -> immediate collar after each one - you're still into that shit (if you're not, are you really a Riddle simp? 🤨)

- doesn't know anything about relationships so his reactions are always fresh and amazing to look at

- can't communicate well and will try to not show his emotions (he fails horribly around you), so it's slow steps - both of you getting used to one another

- you tease him a lot, because he can turn redder than his hair and he hates it sometimes (he will refuse to admit), yet he knows you still remain respectful and once it's gone too far you immediately stop

- will try baking for you, but he takes everything literally (I'm pretty sure he is autistic, it's the fellow awtysm radar in me), so he often messes up. You eat it, because you love him (and it's not worse than Lilia's cooking, so)

- will spend holidays with you, he doesn't want to go home :( and he feels way better with you, so it's a win-win

-> only then learns about your living situation in Ramshackle 🥲🙏 will yell (respectfully) at Crowley because of it

- helps you so much with your workload by sharing his own hacks he's come up with over the years (he's the cutest little thing pls)

- fights everyone for you, except Floyd - you're both running from that one (will not leave you alone on that one, though, what a sweetheart)

- he's got a British accent 😐☝️

-> has the silly goofy speak: "riddle me this" "geezer" "bloody hell" "innit?" "lads"

-> you clown him for it sometimes, just sometimes. He hates it. But he also loves you so it's alright

- you carry candy around for him, everytime he gets angry around you, you toss him candy or something

- invites you horse riding (if you don't like horses IDC. I'm a horse person and I love it. The horse bedsheets stay on during sex 😡 jk. Or am I?)

- you will show him so much. So many new things and he's suddenly in this whole new world he's never been in before. He's willing to try anything, for both curiosity and your smile. Very interested in your world, please tell him everything

- will spend time with you in private tea parties where you guys just gossip

- platonic: best friends. Besties. Will share so much tea on tea parties, about everyone, even people you guys don't know. It's so fun. It's a whole 😗💅 friendship. (Though Riddle doesn't know much gossip, it's fine, he will remember what you tell him)

- I don't know much about this guy but I will try

- definitely bakes you sweets that are to your taste, if you don't like sweets he will cook. He's been preparing for this moment his whole life let him do his thing

- is afraid of blood. IDC. You get a cut and bro is freaking out, you're going to die while he's passed out because of the bloo- he is now gone 😔

- that said, loves taking care of you as long as it's not a bloody injury. Brings you blankets, cooks you soup, boils you tea, you name it

- teeth brushing together and I also mean the kind where he brushes yours, he says it's not kinky but you are not really sure

- doesn't know how to say no but is a master at leaving situations, like you don't even know how and your request with going idk where has turned into rule 8289402917364829 to not speak to people in glasses on a Thursday and now you have to compensate by eating his tart,,, or something

- 😏 <- why does he actually make that face

- you spend time together by having either little tea parties or just hanging out in his room

- his love language is baking, but I also think it's quality time

-> will ask you to join him in the kitchen while he bakes, to be next to him while he's studying and things like that

-> just loves having you close to him

-> ALSO ALSO: one of those friends/bfs that will force you into calling/messaging once you've arrived home, telling you to dress warm, buys you food, yells at Crowley for you (tells Riddle to yell at him because he was raised to respect others while he knows Riddle will not care - after all, Riddle likes you, too)

- walks you to school

- asks you to put Ace and Deuce into their place because he just might snap anytime soon and despite being afraid of blood, it will be the last thing a few of the Heartslabyul students will see ☺️

- doesn't have bad memory per se, but often forgets trivial things

- it's kinda endearing

- platonic: joins you and Riddle in your tea parties (tea in both senses), knows about everything that's going on in the school, all the gossip (Cater is the one who tells him, but anyway)

- "You don't have a magicam account😨😰?" "Wdym Crowley doesn't allow you to use your phone for social media and entertainment?!" Suddenly you are allowed to set an account 🤨

- EVERYTHING about your relationship is documented. He doesn't post all of the pictures and videos he has, but he posts a few.

-> likes to keep your relationship matters somewhat private rather than just post it all, it's for him only (and for you when he decided to finally send the pics from the date 2 months ago 😒)

- has a weird sense of humor you can't always understand. He seems like he's having fun, though, so it's fine, let him be excited

- he copes with internal conflict by occupying his mind with social media (twinss except I do that with games,,, anyway), telling jokes and being very unserious but he let's this mask fall whenever he's around you

- the actual Cater is so lovely 😔 he may not be as full of energy and as loud but he's still the biggest sweetheart

- you put him at a high place, whilst he puts everyone above him and is used to people just disregarding him, so when you show up and try your hardest to focus on him he just wants to cry for days on end. His opinions matter to you and you always listen to him even when he's talking about the stuff you have no idea about 🥲

-> late night crying sessions together (crying brings people closer), and you just love spending every second together

- he definitely needs assurance, so don't forget to text him a "good morning, love" a "goodnight, love" as well as words of affirmation and reminding him that you love him and him only and that he's amazing. Also please don't ignore his messages 😔 he will think you hate him

- refuses to get drunk in front of other people because he could start spilling his secrets, but he does when he's with you = crying a lot

- dates are two kinds:

1. you go to a very aesthetic location, you have a picture perfect (intended) date, it is later all over your social media

2. just you and him being in love and spending alone time together. His room, your room, in the garden, cooking together, you name it. All he cares about is you (only takes candid photos yet they look so good??? Sir??)

- just two people foolishly in love, that's it, that's the tweet (Tumblr post?)

-I really think he'd be one of the best bfs, hands down

- he writes fanfiction. "But, Noya, there's no way he-" ☝️😐 he does. I was thinking about Sebek writing FFs about Malleus, but Sebek doesn't seem like the type (Sebek for sure daydreams), but Deuce? He does. With Ace. They just share FFs and recommendations (he still doesn't know how to tell Ace he doesn't really write well)

-> tried to keep it a secret until you one day mentioned this cool fanfic you've read the night before with your favorite character

-> "you read fanfiction?😨" Yes, Deuce. "And you mentioned it to me so casually?" You lovable idiot

- thinks you are very cool and respects you greatly

- you have a group chat with him and his mom as well as a private chat with her

- the group chat is just the sweetest thing ever. His mom loves you and you love her, and Deuce is just there to observe and for the two of you to poke fun at (in an endearing way - talking sweetly about Deuce while he reads it all)

-> in the private chat, you're gossiping and having the best time of your life. His mom is so cool and such a girlboss (not to mention a total MILF - if it doesn't work out with Deuce you'll go for his mom 😔)

- that said, Deuce is very submissive and breedable

I will not elaborate

- dates with him are definitely outside, you either go for a walk, for a ride, or something like that

- brings you gifts all the time, they're mostly really stupid, but he's always like: "I saw this and it reminded me of you" or "I saw this and thought you might like it" your room is getting full, but you can't say no to that face.

- kiss his hair, he's sitting down and you do a little smooch, or the back of his neck

-> he gets all red and stuttering and then you hear it about it from his mom

-> "When will I get grandbabies?" Miss I want your child 😌☝️

- ehm

- just the loveliest puppy love, with a lot of hugs and kisses, he also doesn't care about where you two are and PDA is no problem for him (as long as it's like a little, he wouldn't straight out makeout with you,,, maybe)

- soft boy, will worry about everything but you and his mom will reassure him at all times, so we're good 😌

- BOY

- okay I ended Deuce with PDA and I'm going to start with it here

-> PDA all the way, will makeout at the lockers, near friends, he doesn't care. You do? Too bad (just kidding he will actually respect your opinion, but you also have to respect his so like)

- will bring you to his room while Deuce is there just for the laughs

- will try to protect you from trouble, because he has this feeling of needing to protect you

- "This one is for you, babygirl" and then misses his shot at club, you laugh,,, but why does he keep doing that when it has worked like twice so far (Floyd also tells you all his shots are for you and doesn't miss)

- screams when in distress, you scream with him. Yes we're fine, Jack.

- steals tarts and cakes from the dorm kitchen and then sneaks into your room to eat with you, then acts oh so sad when Riddle collars him and he has to go sleep at Ramshackle 😩😩😩 oh woe is me (sneaky bastard)

- you definitely curse at one another, jokingly, you call him a dick, he calls you a bitch. But you're his bitch and he's your dick 🫶

- people are concerned, but you guys are fine

- talks about his exes sometimes and then realizes his mistake and keeps apologizing for days, you tell him it's fine (you've already had the talk, and you know his mouth just runs faster than his brain can keep up - you do say if something he said hurt you and he then tries to make it up and not repeat it ever again)

- dates are never the same, like I can't stress enough how your dates are just in the spur of the moment and you end up eating bananas on Crowley's window (you almost fell to your death so that was the last time you did that)

-> has a weird habit of remembering things like that, like if you cut yourself - never be close to a knife, if you slipped on ice - not going outside when it's freezing, you almost fell from that window - never let you be higher than a chair when he's around. It's sweet, but let me live my life goddamn

- while texting he has started putting /j after everything just to make sure you don't misunderstand

- it's an emotional rollercoaster with him, but you somehow still return, is that okay? Not necessarily, but you love him too much and he loves you, too

- tells you often, that he loves you. Like, any change he gets, he will be saying "I love you" "Love you" it's kinda cute because depsite that, he still gets nervous and all red, at least you know it's genuine

- will beat up anyone for you (with Deuce because they're a buy one get one free, or frequently bought together)

-> you got used to your dates sometimes being with Deuce, but it's fine, you spend all the time together anyway (Epel hates your love, so you tease him on purpose, Jack is just lovable and is happy for you guys - just don't let it distract you from your studies!)

Why did Riddle get so much text? He's my favorite.

Why does Deuce have 2 banners? because he's my bbygirl and I couldn't decide, he looks great everywhere.

When will be the next part? With how life's going rn, soon.

Who will be in the next part? I haven't decided yet, but either Pomefiore or Octavinelle.

Have a great week everyone, hope life is going well, goodnight 🫶🫶🫶

[jennycalendar]

pomegranate

“Ms. Calendar,” Spike said, giving her a polite nod, and then turned his attention towards the Watcher. “Brought that idiot, did you? You’re always welcome, but he’s not.” The Watcher, however, was not paying very much attention to Spike. His eyes scanned the crypt, his brow furrowed. “Is this…” he mumbled, half to himself, and then shook his head. “No.”

can't post this to ao3 while it's down, but hopefully it will be back up soon -- and in the meantime, i can still put things up on tumblr!! :)

set within s4 in that series i write where jenny is alive and i don't explain why. short, silly, suggestive. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike was having a nice little nap in his new home when the door banged open. Jerking awake, he glowered resentfully at the intruders, a barbed comment halfway to his mouth before he saw Ms. Calendar there. She was with the Watcher, of course, joined at the hip as they were, wearing his bloody sweater and everything. Nauseating. “Ms. Calendar,” he said, giving her a polite nod, and then turned his attention towards the Watcher. “Brought that idiot, did you? You’re always welcome, but he’s not.”

The Watcher, however, was not paying very much attention to Spike. His eyes scanned the crypt, his brow furrowed. “Is this…” he mumbled, half to himself, and then shook his head. “No.”

“Rupert’s here to pay you,” said Ms. Calendar. “And I’m here to say thanks.” She smiled, sweetly, and Spike’s heart swelled. “If you hadn’t turned him over to me, I can’t imagine what he’d have gotten himself into. Did you know that his genius plan was to try and get Ethan to reverse the Fyarl curse?”

“Jenny,” said the Watcher, ducking his head, “I-I did apologize for—”

As though the Watcher hadn’t said a word, Ms. Calendar continued. “Seems like he wanted to get everything un-fucked before I found out he went out drinking with Ethan Rayne. And I do know you only brought him to me to make a point, but he’s safe, now, so thank you.”

“Well, he’s your problem, isn’t he?” said Spike. “Wouldn’t be right to let him get jumped by soldiers and muscled into one of those holding cells.” Ms. Calendar’s smile trembled for just a moment, as though she hadn’t thought of that. Spike wanted to kick himself. “Anyway, all’s well that ends well,” he added hastily, “and—well—I’ll still take the money from him, but you don’t need to pay me a thing. Would’ve done it for free if you asked.”

Now Ms. Calendar’s smile had flattened out into that expression of annoyed indifference. “Not interested,” she said.

“Nor am I,” said Spike, insulted by the presumption. “You’re a proper lady. Watcher's partner, and you look after the kids. Know how to pay my respects, that’s all.”

“And Rupert doesn’t get any respect?”

“He does not,” said Spike with great satisfaction. “Bastard chained me up in the bathtub and made me miss my soaps.” The Watcher had gone back to staring at the crypt. “Yeah, nice place, innit?” said Spike proudly. “Could do with a bit of tidying, but I’ve only just moved in, so—”

“Oh, Christ,” said the Watcher, and went white.

Ms. Calendar looked towards the Watcher with some surprise. So did Spike. “Rupert, are you okay?” asked Ms. Calendar.

The Watcher had now gone an entertaining shade of puce. “YES!” he said. “YES, JENNY, I AM PERFECTLY FINE, BUT WE REALLY MUST BE GOING, SO WHY DON’T WE—” He rummaged in his pocket, pulling out a wad of bills and shoving it in Spike’s general direction. When Spike didn’t take it, he let the bills fall. “LOVELY. YES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE, SPIKE.”

Spike was intrigued. To buy himself some time, he said, “Hang on, let me count before you’ve dashed off!” and made a show of picking up the bills, stooping to rummage in the dust while pretending not to listen in on the whispered conversation.

“Seriously,” Ms. Calendar was saying. “What’s going on?”

“He Can Hear Us,” said the Watcher. “If You Don’t Remember, We Aren’t Talking About It Right Now.”

“If I don’t—?” A strange pause, and then, in a similarly horrified tone of voice. “Oh my God. Rupert, is this where we—?”

“NOT IN FRONT OF THE VAMPIRE,” the Watcher hissed through his teeth.

Spike straightened up, bills in hand. This required further investigation. “What,” he said, grinning lasciviously, “’s this one of the places you two got busy?”

The Watcher’s face was frozen in rictus. Ms. Calendar said, flaming red, “Um!” and started trying to back towards the doorway.

Got it in one. Obviously Spike wasn’t bothered—the thought of the two of them together was stirring, to say the least—but he couldn’t resist the opportunity to twist the knife a bit. “In my home?” he said, loud and exaggeratedly horrified. “How the bloody hell am I supposed to feel homey here when I can smell the two of you all over? As though it wasn’t bad enough, you going down on her in the kitchen when you thought I couldn’t hear—” (the Watcher groaned and buried his face in his hands) “—now I’ve got your sex life haunting me like the Ghost of bloody Christmas Past? I’m a decent, respectable vampire, you know. Never brought anyone over to shag in my bathtub while you two could hear me. What is it about the two of you that has you going at it like rabbits whenever and wherever you—”

“Oh, shut up, Spike,” said the Watcher into his hands.

Ms. Calendar had stopped looking mortified and was now just looking at Spike like she knew he was putting it on, which was the whole reason Spike liked her so much in the first place. “You’re bluffing,” she said. “You can’t possibly still smell us here, or you’d have brought it up the second we showed up. You don’t have any proof of anything, so why don’t you just—”

She stepped back. Her foot caught in something. All eyes went to what, exactly, had tangled around Ms. Calendar’s heel: a pair of dusty, ripped, pomegranate-colored knickers. A pair that exactly matched the underthings that the Watcher had been putting away with the rest of the laundry two weeks ago, elbowing Spike out of the way as he tried to sabotage any and all folding attempts.

“You know what,” said Ms. Calendar in a strangled tone of voice, “I think Rupert and I are due somewhere else.”

“The way you two carry on, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re due soon enough,” said Spike significantly.

“I will take that money back,” the Watcher warned.

“You will not,” said Spike, drawing himself up as tall as he could. “You’re one of the White Hats, remember? And you said you’d give me the money, and you did give me the money, so now it’s my money, and taking it back would be thievery. Which is evil. Which you can’t be, because it’s not allowed—”

He danced back before the Watcher’s punch could land, grinning wickedly. Ms. Calendar grabbed her beau’s arm and towed him out of the crypt without so much as a by-your-leave.

Always fun, having visitors.

[gaylotusthatexists]

For the kiss game. 12 (in grief) Tango/Joel :>

(this turned out. very sad but simultanously quite silly asdfjlgsn hope u enjoy <3 still also somehow managed to make this about ranchers. the opportunity was there okay asdhjf)

tws: past/off-screen major character death, grief/mourning, alcohol consumption

ao3 | send a number and a ship for a kiss <3

It had been a long day, and Joel was pissed in more ways than one, and all he really wanted was a few moments peace away from all of Grian’s complaining. If it was any other person, he might’ve just gone home, cried himself to sleep and hoped that he wasn’t too much of a zombie by the morning. But he had to be here for Grian, and… 

Well. And for Jimmy, he supposed. 

Stupid fucking Jimmy, who’d managed to go get himself killed. Because of course he’d go and do that, the absolute idiot, leaving his two best friends without even a goodbye. Making him have to go to a blummin’ funeral. Leaving Grian to act all weird and grouchy - grouchier than usual, anyway. Leaving Joel… 

Well, leaving him a bit of a mess, really. He’d been trying to hold it together, because he wasn’t about to cry in front of people, that’d be awful for his reputation, but he had to admit a few tears had slipped out during bathroom breaks. Probably didn’t help that he’d had about four too many pints of Carling - not his personal choice, but it’d been Jimmy’s favourite - and whilst he could usually hold his alcohol pretty well, today was an entirely different circumstance. 

He’d be fine. He would be fine. He just needed a few moments alone, a bit of fresh air. Which he theoretically could get - plenty of fresh air out in the beer garden and not many people, since with it being this late everyone was inside shielding themselves from the cold - except… 

Well. Unfortunately his assumptions hadn’t quite been correct. 

Out in the beer garden, sitting alone at Jimmy’s favourite table - the one right at the very end, next to the flower beds, exactly in the right position for the sun to shine down on in the late afternoon - was a stranger. And usually, Joel would’ve just turned around and found somewhere else, maybe go for a walk down the street and back, but the stranger was crying. And staring up at Joel with wide eyes. And he supposed it felt a bit awkward, just leaving him out here, without even saying hello, offering his condolences. Sure, Joel could be a dick at times, but he wasn’t an asshole . 

He sat down next to the stranger, offering him a polite smile. “Lovely night, innit?” he greeted, only to be met with silence. After a second, he cleared his throat. “You, uh, here for the funeral, then?”

The stranger stared at him, his eyes rimmed red. 

“Right, right, uh- stupid question.” He thought for a moment, then sighed. “Sorry, I’m… not great at this. Is there anything I can do for you? Like- I dunno, get you a drink? Or… a friend?” 

He sniffled, lifting a hand to wipe at his eyes as he shook his head. “I’m alright.” 

Joel narrowed his eyes. “You sure? You don’t look it.” 

The stranger shot him a glare. “I’m fine. It’s just-” He gestured vaguely in the air, seemingly unable to come up with words. Joel couldn’t really blame him for it. “-y’know. All this is… yeah.” 

“Right, right, I get it,” Joel said, which was the truth. Of course he got it. It’d been a hard night for everyone, he was sure. 

No one had been expecting Jimmy’s death. It really had just come out of nowhere - one day, he was perfectly fine, and the next… 

Joel wasn’t even sure he’d gotten to say goodbye to him, not properly. They rarely ever did say goodbye, usually just threw some meaningless insult or vague compliment depending on the vibes of the conversation before the other bolted away. Knowing that they’d see each other again soon enough anyway, knowing they could just pick things right back up from where they left. 

…until they couldn’t see each other again. 

(He really hadn’t expected that day to come so soon. It really did suck. It really wasn’t fair .) 

(But there wasn’t a whole lot Joel could do about it, was there?) 

Before any more tears could fall, Joel plastered on another polite smile, curling up his fingers in his lap, fingernails digging just a bit too harshly into his skin, probably leaving a mark. He couldn’t really find it in himself to care. 

“So,” he said, trying desperately to raise this poor man’s spirits, “how’d you know Jimmy, then?” Probably not doing a very good job at it, but oh well. Joel was by no means a therapist, wasn’t about to start acting like one. 

The stranger was quiet for a moment, looking away from Joel. He covered one side of his face with his hand, sort of continuing to wipe away those tears but mostly just seeming to hide them. “He, uh… he was my boyfriend?” 

Joel blinked. “Your boyfriend?” he repeated. Since when did Jimmy- oh. His eyes widened. “Wait. Shit, you’re Tango?” 

Tango stiffened, then slowly lowered his hand, glancing over at Joel. “Yeah?” 

“No way, you’re real?” 

Tango frowned. “What do you mean, ‘I’m real’?” 

Joel snorted. “Just- I mean, Jimmy told us about you, obviously, but, uh… I mean, none of us ever actually met you. And whenever we’d bring it up he’d just change the conversation. So we all had our doubts, if you know what I mean.” 

Tango stared at Joel again, for a long, long moment, before groaning and collapsing down to the table below, his head buried in his arms. His shoulders moved up and down, shaking slightly, and Joel heard him draw in a sharp breath, choking back tears. And Joel wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to do about that, he really wasn’t the right person for this, but- 

He laid a hand on Tango’s back, beginning to gently pat it, in a vague attempt at comfort. “Hey, hey, uh…” He scrunched up his face, trying his damn hardest to come up with the right words here. 

(Jimmy would’ve known what to do. He’d always been sweet, good with people. But he wasn’t here, was he?) 

Now wasn’t the time for Joel to start crying as well. He took in a deep breath, doing his best to stay composed. As composed as he could be, at least, given his current emotional state and the amount of alcohol in his system. 

“Look, I, uh… I know it must be hard for you, right now,” he said, leaning in a little closer to Tango, continuing to rub up and down his back. “Jim… He…” Joel trailed off and let out a heavy sigh. “I mean, we were close, so I get it, is what I’m trying to say.” 

Tango groaned, twisting his head slightly so that he faced Joel, resting his ear on the inside of his elbow. “How could you possibly get this?” he said, voice cracking. “It’s not like he was your boyfriend- you don’t even look upset!” 

“I am upset!” Joel exclaimed, leaning away from Tango and folding his arms. “You have no idea how upset I am right now!” 

Tango rolled his eyes. “You seem fine to me. Looks like you haven’t shed a single tear tonight.” 

Joel scoffed. “That doesn’t mean I’m not upset,” he said, electing not to mention that he definitely had - again, he had a reputation to uphold. “Besides, Jimmy wouldn’t want me to. If I did and he was here, he’d probably make fun of me for it. And, like- that wouldn’t stand. I’m the one who makes fun of him, not the other way round.” 

“He wouldn’t do that,” Tango said, sounding absolutely certain. He sat back up, staring Joel down. “Ji- He was the sweetest guy.” 

“You must’ve not known him that well, then-” 

“I must’ve not known him?!” Tango shook his head, as if in disbelief. “I think you’re the one who didn’t know him. I was his boyfriend, for goodness sake-” 

“And I was his best friend!” Joel argued. “I’ve known him far longer than you have. How long were you two even together? Like, what, a couple months?” 

“A couple years, actually. We were planning on moving in together!” 

Joel huffed. “No you weren’t.” 

“Yes we were. Why would I lie about that?” 

“First time I’m hearing about it,” Joel said, shaking his head. “Jimmy would’ve told me.” Jimmy told him everything. 

“I’m sure there’s a lot of things Jimmy didn’t tell you-” 

“He would’ve told me,” Joel reiterated, standing up and stepping away from the table. He could feel tears prickling at his eyes again, just- just thinking about Jimmy like that, thinking that there might’ve been stuff he didn’t know. Conversations they’d never had. Secrets they’d never shared. Things they couldn’t share, not anymore, even if they wanted to. 

He sighed, taking a seat again and burying his head in his hand, leaning an elbow against the table to prop himself up. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Besides him, Tango shuffled a little closer, tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, are you-” 

“I’m fine,” Joel snapped, despite the fact that he clearly wasn’t. “I just…” He felt a sob trying to escape his throat, and did his damn hardest to push it down, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could, tugging just a bit too harshly on his hair. 

“You… don’t look fine,” Tango said. His voice was softer than before, and whilst he was clearly trying to be comforting, all it did was fill Joel with rage. 

“Would you make up your blummin’ mind?” He felt the hand lift, and… somehow, he felt colder. He almost tried to chase it, tried to lean into Tango. He gripped his other hand around the edge of the table, fingernails scraping against the wood. “You- You literally just said I did look fine, I-” 

“Yeah, but- that was before- before all this! With the- you-” After a series of mostly incomprehensible noises, Tango cut himself off, letting out a heavy sigh. “Obviously you aren’t.” 

“Yeah. Obviously.” Joel lifted his other hand to his face, gripping his forehead. It was starting to ache. “I’m at my best mate’s fucking funeral. In what world would I be okay with that?” 

“Right, right, I- I get it,” Tango tried to reassure him. “And that’s perfectly okay. You don’t have to be alright. Just… I don’t know, you didn’t exactly give off that impression-” 

“I was- I was trying to lighten the mood, okay?” Joel said, his voice beginning to quieten, growing tired. He lowered his hands back into his lap, glancing at Tango. Not bothering to wipe the tears anymore. “I- Honestly, I came out here looking to be alone.” 

“You didn’t have to stay .” 

“I wasn’t gonna leave you out here, you were crying-” 

“‘Course I was crying, we’re at a funeral.” 

“I- Shut up.” Joel let out a heavy sigh. “Sorry. I- Maybe I should-” He sniffled. “-leave you alone.” 

“It’s okay,” Tango said. “You were… concerned, that’s alright. Honestly, right now I’m more concerned about you.” 

Joel huffed. “Probably should be. I’m a blummin’ mess, honestly.” 

Tango shrugged. “That makes two of us, then.” 

Huh. He… supposed Tango wasn’t wrong. 

Joel swallowed, then took in a deep breath, desperately trying to recompose himself again. He really hadn’t intended to have that kind of outburst tonight, especially not with someone he didn’t even know. Thinking about it, he couldn’t help but feel a little bad. Obviously, Tango was hurting as well. 

Probably not more than Joel was, that didn’t sound possible, but… pretty darn close, he reckoned. 

“Sorry,” he said again, as genuinely as he could. “I shouldn’t have-” 

“It’s fine, really,” Tango said. Joel’s shoulders hitched up, not quite believing him, but Tango gave him a soft smile and, somehow, that was enough to make him relax. 

(Now that he was… really looking, Tango actually reminded him a lot of Jimmy. Same messy blonde hair, same awkward charm, same bright smile. If he squinted, he could almost see his face.) 

“So, uh- you and- and Jimmy were close, then?” Tango asked, after a moment of silence. He looked away, fixing his eyes back to the table, as Joel slowly nodded, looking away as well. His gaze drifted down to the hands in his lap, watching his thumbs roll over one another. 

“Yeah,” he answered, the beginnings of a smile ghosting across his face. “Known each other since we were kids. Best mates all throughout school, and- y’know, never managed to get rid of him.” That smile continued to grow. “Used to get him to skip class with me so we could make out at the back of the field. Good times. Miss him.” 

Tango hummed in acknowledgement. “I miss him too.” Then, a moment later, “Wait. Make out?” 

Joel snorted. “Yeah. I mean, it was his idea, I was mostly just there ‘cause I couldn’t be arsed to do my work. Not a bad kisser, though, so can’t really complain.” He frowned. “Although, we were teenagers at the time, so might just be that my standards were lower. You’d probably know better.” 

“So- So he’s your ex?” Tango asked, and immediately Joel burst into laughter. 

“No! No, God, no,” he said. Not a moment later, that laughter soon turned back into tears, as more and more memories popped up to the surface. Nothing but Jimmy’s face circling his mind. “I- I love him, I do, but not like that. We were just… trying things out, I guess. Messing around. As friends do, y’know?” 

“I… don’t think that’s usually what friends do?” 

“What are you talking about?” Joel glanced back up at Tango. “I’ve made out with pretty much all of my friends at some point. You saying you haven’t?” 

“I- No? I haven’t?” 

Joel hummed. “You should try it. Good fun.” 

“Only person I really wanna kiss right now is Jimmy,” Tango said, folding his arms over his chest. “And, uh… well, it’s a little too late for that now, isn’t it?” 

A little too late. 

Fuck. 

Joel looked away again, feeling another sob trying to rack through his body. He pushed it down, reminding himself that it’s not what Jimmy would’ve wanted. “You, uh… I mean-” He pursed his lips. “I guess you two were close as well then, huh?” 

“...yeah. I loved him,” Tango said, voice suddenly rather sombre. “Love him. Don’t think I’ll ever stop.” 

Joel hummed in agreement. “Very lovable guy, he was.” 

“Yeah, exactly.” Tango looked up to the sky, eyes tracing over blinking stars. “He’s wonderful. Never met a guy so amazing. And- And the past few years I’ve known him have been the best, you have no idea. So… y’know.” He sighed, allowing his eyes to slip shut. “Finding it all… a little hard to take in. We had a whole life planned out together. I- I just- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.” 

“He’d want you to- to keep going,” Joel said. “Be happy.” 

Tango was quiet for a moment, breathing softly. Again, Joel couldn’t help but see Jimmy in his place, sitting there in all of his glory. (He was even sat in Jimmy’s old spot.) “I don’t know how I’m supposed to be happy right now, when it was him who- who brought all that joy to my life. He just- He made everything seem so bright . So warm and- and beautiful. Like- how’d you feel if suddenly the sun disappeared from the sky? You really think you’d be able to just- just keep going as normal?” 

Joel thought for a moment. “Well. Probably not as normal, but… we’d still have the moon, wouldn’t we?” he said, glancing up to the sky. 

He’d never really appreciated it much before, but… maybe now, he could. Maybe now, right that second, Jimmy was up there somewhere, watching them with a smile. 

“And all the stars,” he continued. “They’re just like- mini suns, right? Just millions of miles away. Maybe… Maybe one day you could find another?” As soon as he heard those words come out his mouth, his cringed, scrunching up his face. “Ew. You’ve got me sounding all poetic now. How dare you.” 

Tango huffed, letting out a weak chuckle. “No, no, you’re right. I… He wouldn’t want me to just- wallow in self-pity for the rest of time, would he? He’d want me to be happy.” 

Joel nodded. “Y-Yeah, exactly. Like, obviously it might take some time, but…” He trailed off, looking down again. 

“…but I’ll get there,” Tango finished for him, his voice very quiet. “We’ll get there.” 

A smile tugged at the corner of Joel’s lips. “Yeah. We’ll get there.” 

Silence again, for a long moment. Somehow, though, it was nice. Comfortable. Comforting . Knowing that Tango was next to him, and that he understood. That Joel was beginning to understand him as well. 

“I just- I wish I’d had, like, one more day, y’know?” Tango said, eventually. His voice was small, quiet, and yet in Joel’s mind it felt like the loudest he’d been all night. 

“...yeah. Yeah, I know.” 

“Or, like, even just one more conversation,” he continued. “There are so many things I wanted to tell him still. So many things I wanted to do with him. I- Even just saying goodbye, for real. Or- Or giving him one last kiss.” He let out a shaky exhale. “God, I wish I could kiss him right now.” 

Joel hummed in thought, silent for a few moments as he took in Tango’s words, and considered his response. He really should’ve spent a longer time considering. “Do you wanna make out?” 

“...huh?” 

Yeah. Definitely should’ve spent a longer time considering. Joel looked away, avoiding Tango’s gaze. “I mean- you said you wanted to kiss someone, right? I’m right here. Available to kiss. Doesn’t have to mean anything, either, if you don’t want it to. Might help?” Tentatively, he glanced back at Tango, searching his face. 

Tango blinked. “I… I said I wanted to kiss Jimmy.” 

Joel shrugged. “Kinda hard to do that now though, innit-?” 

“Dude-” 

“What?” Joel huffed, turning away from Tango. “I was just offering, alright? It’s alright if you don’t want to.” 

“No, I-” He cut himself off, letting out a noise of frustration. For a moment, he sat in silence, before quietly asking, “You really think it’d help?” 

“Oh, I don’t know!” Joel said, a little too harshly. (Suddenly rather embarrassed, and trying his damn hardest to hide it.) “I get it, it was a stupid idea, we really don’t-” 

All of a sudden, the air to his lungs was cut off, as Tango leaned in and pressed his lips against Joel’s. 

…okay. So. That was happening. 

Cool. 

It didn’t take long for Joel to melt into it, moving his lips against Tango’s in a steady, gentle rhythm, shuffling a little closer to the other man. He moved to wrap an arm around Tango’s back, attempting to tug him in a little closer as well, eyes flitting shut in contentment, a low, pleased hum rumbling at the back of his throat. 

Tango’s hand ghosted across his back, afraid to touch. Joel tried to lean back into it, wanting to feel everything , but after a mere second Tango pulled it away, and with it, himself. Initially, Joel began to chase his lips, until the cold night air hit them and he realised that Tango had pulled away, that Tango had- 

Tango had kissed him. 

Actually, genuinely kissed him. 

…this was not at all how he’d been expecting his evening to go. 

When he opened his eyes, though, rather than the look of joy he’d been expecting, Tango instead looked vaguely terrified. “Sorry,” he blurted out. “I- I didn’t- It- You-“ 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, it’s alright,” Joel reassured him. “I offered, remember?” 

“…r-right. I remember.” 

Joel gave him a warm smile. “Did it help?” 

“Not… really,” Tango said, honestly. Which, well, Joel supposed was fair. “But it… it was nice, I guess.” 

Joel nodded along. “Yeah. Yeah, it was nice,” he agreed. “You’re a pretty good kisser, y’know. Better than Jimmy was, anyway. He was lucky to have you.” 

“Hey, Jimmy was amazing. He was a good kisser. I was lucky to have him-” 

“I never said he was bad,” Joel defended. “Just that you’re better. And, like- to be fair, last time I kissed him he was, like, fifteen probably-”

“Right, right.” Tango giggled. Giggled. A smile on his face, so very different from the forlorn look he’d worn when Joel had first laid eyes on him. “You’re, uh… pretty good as well, y’know.” 

“Thank you, thank you. I mean, I know, obviously, but I appreciate the compliment.” 

“Can we… do it again?” 

Tango didn’t even really have to ask. As a grin spread across Joel’s face, he leant in close again, capturing Tango’s lips in his own. His hands wandered down to Tango’s waist, feeling him shiver beneath his touch, bringing up his own hands around Joel’s back and tugging him in. Tango was so warm beneath him, so soft and gentle with his kisses, and Joel could almost forget about all the other emotions swirling around in his chest, allowing himself to just enjoy it. 

It was almost like the old days, huddled in the corner of the field with his best mate, away from any prying eyes, just… having fun. Enjoying each other's company. Laughing and smiling and allowing the rest of the world to fade away. 

Maybe Tango felt the same. Maybe he could pretend that everything was back to normal, that his boyfriend was right there in his arms, that maybe he could have one more chance. Joel didn’t see the harm in letting the man indulge, just this once. 

It took a while before Tango finally pulled away - Joel waited for him to do so, waited until he was ready. When he did, he looked happy. Eyes shining, kinda wet like he might start crying again, but contented, nonetheless. His hands came to rest on Joel’s shoulders, and then a moment later his head, burying himself into the crook of Joel’s neck. 

“God,” he murmured. “I…” He trailed off, as Joel tugged him even closer, keeping a strong, comforting arm around him. 

“Did that help?” he asked, after a moment, keeping his voice quiet, calm. 

“...yeah. Kinda.” He let out a heavy sigh. “I miss him, still.” 

“I know, I know,” Joel said. “So do I. But… we’ll be okay. Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, we will.” Silence for a moment, before a quiet chuckle. “God. What would Jimmy think of us, doin’ something like that?” 

Joel hummed. “He’d probably be happy for us. I think he’d want to see his two favourite lads getting along, y’know?” 

Tango snorted. “Yeah. I guess so.” He drew back, untangling himself from Joel, who let him go. “We should do this again sometime.” 

Joel raised an eyebrow. “What, make out?” 

“No, no!” Tango shook his head, then paused. “I mean. Maybe. But- I mean, like… hang out. Talk. It’s been nice, having someone to talk to, after… after everything.” 

“Ah, of course, of course!” Joel nodded. “Any time, really. Glad I could be of help.” It would be good for Joel as well, to be fair - if anyone understood what Joel was going through, it was Tango. “Here, uh-” He pulled out his phone, bringing up his contacts and handing it to Tango, who took it to put in his details. “Just give me a call if you ever need someone to, uh, reminisce with. Or cry to. Or, y’know. Make out with.” 

Tango nodded, handing Joel his phone back. “I will, I will. Thanks, again.” 

“Thank you, as well,” Joel said, moving to stand up. “It’s been wonderful. And I don’t feel like crying anymore, so… mission accomplished, I guess.” 

Tango huffed in what was almost a laugh. “Don’t think I’m quite there yet, but… definitely feeling better.” 

“Good,” Joel said. He began to make his way back inside, giving Tango a wave. “I’ll see you around, yeah?” 

“Yeah, absolutely! See ya!” 

Jimmy would want them both to be happy. Truly happy. 

Maybe, with each other's help, one day they could get there.