#golddigger arc

[thegreatyin]

good idea.

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

Meghan Markle Waves Goodbye To Her Rom-Com Dreams

We do? Rom-coms? I mean, yeah, it would be wonderful to have good movies again, of any genre. But with Meghan in charge, imagine the scripts she would commission. “When Harry Met Meghan, the Oppressed and Suicidal Actress.” “How to Lose a Prince in 10 Days.”  “10 Things I Hate About Kate.” “The Meghan Markle Story, Starring Meghan Markle.” 

That last one’s more of a tragicomedy than a rom-com, sorry. But I understand why she wants to make Julia Roberts-style romantic comedies. After all, just a few years ago, she was lurking on Hollywood Boulevard auditioning for her big break when a prince in an Aston Martin cruised by and whisked her away to his palace. She has lived a real-life Cinderella story. Only this one may not have quite the same ending.

Petty Woman: Meghan Markle Waves Goodbye To Her Rom-Com Dreams

BY: PEACHY KEENAN JULY 03, 2023

The latest chapter in the Meghan character arc is about the content she and hapless Harry are trying to pitch to their paymasters in Beverly Hills.

Not all fairy tales have happy endings, and for Princess Meghan the clock just chimed midnight and the spell has been broken. The coach is turning back into a pumpkin as we speak.

As a longtime Royal Family watcher, I admit to feeling shameless glee as I read the recent stories of Meghan and Harry striking out in Hollywood. It’s always fun to watch dire low-stakes predictions come true. Like many of you, I was appalled at the disrespect Meghan showed to her in-laws. Instead of respecting the Queen, Meghan, incredibly, seemed to be trying to compete with the Queen. She thought she was playing a game of “Survivor,” but she was the only one on the island who didn’t know how to make a fire.

A Long Way Down for the Duchess

For those not keeping track, Meghan and her nitwit ginger sidekick have been dropped by Spotify, reportedly losing half of the $50 million promised. She got $25 million for a measly 12 hours of a middling podcast featuring the richest and most famous women in the world complaining about how hard their lives are. Netflix is reportedly about to cut their $100 million deal short. They finished milking them dry of low-hanging tabloid family gossip, and just found out they have no Act 2.

Nothing is working out the way she dreamed it would. Meghan’s imagined billionaire lifestyle is turning into a mirage. Why? Because for some hilarious reason, the creative bigwigs in Hollywood believed Meghan when she promised that her and Harry would be able to provide oodles of monetizable entertainment content.  

I mean, yes, I am quite entertained by the spectacle, but schadenfreude is tough to monetize.

Meghan In Her Flop Era

Meghan’s predicament tells you everything about the people who run Hollywood. Imagine thinking that these two “f*cking grifters,” in the words of the Spotify exec who had to say no to Harry’s harebrained podcast ideas, would be a rich source of high-quality entertainment! 

I can’t help wondering how a D-list golddigger convinced these studio heads that her and the ginger mouth breather would somehow provide $150 million worth of streaming content. It turns out that they’re only good at providing piles of steaming content, if you know what I mean.

I suppose it’s true, as movie producer Jackie Trehorn tells the Dude in “The Big Lebowski,” standards have fallen in entertainment. Since the Sussexes first ditched their careers as legit royalty and started groping for ephemeral Hollywood royalty, my fellow Meghan hobbyists and I have enjoyed a goldmine of unintentional comedy. She’s the Benny Hill of pampered Montecito trophy wives, always running downhill chased by imaginary paparazzi. 

She’s been a source of delight since the early days when she was using a Sharpie to write inspirational messages on bananas to street prostitutes in England. “You are brave.” “You are loved.” Then the cringe-worthy trek through the thousand micro-aggressions she endured at the hands of her sister-in-law Catherine. Did she not realize everyone saw it for what it was: pure jealousy?

But now we come to the era of Meghan Markle, entertainment content creator. The latest chapter in the Meghan character arc is about the content she and hapless Harry are trying to pitch to their paymasters in Beverly Hills. It was clear that her long slide back into C-list obscurity had begun when I read an incredible tidbit in the trades earlier this year. Meghan was talking about her new content ideas she was working on for her “media production company.” See, it’s already funny! 

Meghan gushed to a Variety reporter: “For scripted, we want to think about how we can evolve from that same space and do something fun! It doesn’t always have to be so serious. Like a good rom-com. Don’t we miss them? I miss them so much. I’ve probably watched ‘When Harry Met Sally’ a million times. And all the Julia Roberts rom-coms. We need to see those again.”

We do? Rom-coms? I mean, yeah, it would be wonderful to have good movies again, of any genre. But with Meghan in charge, imagine the scripts she would commission. “When Harry Met Meghan, the Oppressed and Suicidal Actress.” “How to Lose a Prince in 10 Days.”  “10 Things I Hate About Kate.” “The Meghan Markle Story, Starring Meghan Markle.” 

That last one’s more of a tragicomedy than a rom-com, sorry. But I understand why she wants to make Julia Roberts-style romantic comedies. After all, just a few years ago, she was lurking on Hollywood Boulevard auditioning for her big break when a prince in an Aston Martin cruised by and whisked her away to his palace. She has lived a real-life Cinderella story. Only this one may not have quite the same ending.

As Jeremy Zimmer, the CEO of United Talent Agency, one of the largest Hollywood talent agencies dished during Cannes to every reporter within earshot: “It turns out that Meghan Markle wasn’t a great audio talent, or necessarily has some kind of talent. And you know, just because you’re famous doesn’t mean you’re good at something.” 

Ouch. I wonder if Jeremy Zimmer has seen the latest desperate pitch Meghan made to Netflix; a girlboss rom-com called “Bad Manners” starring … Miss Havisham. The show is “a prequel to Charles Dickens’s 1861 novel Great Expectations which will focus on the character Miss Havisham… [the show] aims to shine a feminist light on the spinster, showing her as a ‘strong woman living in a patriarchal society.’”

Who says comedy is dead? Sign me up for this one!

The article ends with the ominous “it is unclear whether the show will get a green light from Netflix.” 

Meghan is learning, finally, the hardest lesson of all: real royalty may be hereditary, but Hollywood royalty has to be earned. Popularity matters. Likeability, in the end, is the only currency that matters if you wear no crown.

Peachy Keenan is a senior contributor to The Federalist and a contributing editor and regular essayist for The American Mind, a publication of The Claremont Institute. She is the author of "Domestic Extremist: A Practical Guide to Winning the Culture War" (coming June 6 from Regnery). She also writes at peachykeenan.substack.com, and you can always find her on Twitter.

[nyushkawritesstuff]

A Critical Take on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

Hey everyone, it's me, your friendly neighborhood Nyushka. Today, I want to dive into a discussion about Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. I know I'm very late to this conversation, but I've been busy and I still want to share my thoughts. Now, don't get me wrong, I love gaming and the thrill of a good shooter, especially when there's an exciting storyline to follow. But there are a few aspects of this particular game that I think deserve some serious critique.

First and foremost, let's talk about the issue of Islamophobia. It's disheartening to see that Muslim characters in Modern Warfare 3 often fall victim to more brutal deaths compared to others. Take, for example, the tragic demise of Farah's friend, whose car was blown up. It's instances like these that perpetuate harmful stereotypes and contribute to a negative portrayal of Muslims in media. And don't get me started on "No Russian", the plane hijacking cutscene. It'd already been established that the west thinks Urzikstani people are terrorists, it'd already been established that they fought through the allegations and proved their innocence, which paints the cutscene useless - and islamophobic.

Another concern I have is the depiction of women in the game, specifically in relation to Milena. It's disappointing to see that her wealth and success are attributed solely to her husband. We're introduced to her and we see her as a very successful and ambitious woman, so it was disappointing, to say the least, when we find out that Milena killed her husband and stole his wealth through a conversation with Laswell. This kind of portrayal reinforces gender stereotypes and fails to empower female characters in their own right. This is especially bad considering Milena is Russian, so the game is also reinforcing the "Russian golddigger wife who'll murder you" trope.

Moving on, let's discuss the excessive use of death fakeouts. Modern Warfare 3 introduces a whole list of characters whose deaths are teased, like Farah, Alex, Graves, Price, Laswell and a few more, only to reveal that they miraculously survived. This tactic may create momentary excitement, but it ultimately cheapens the impact of death in the game and undermines the emotional investment of the players.

And then there's the ending. Oh boy, where do I even begin? Soap, a beloved fan favorite character, meets a tragic end, leaving us devastated. Meanwhile, Makarov once again manages to escape, leaving us with an unsatisfying resolution. It feels like a missed opportunity to provide closure and a fitting conclusion to the story arc.

Additionally, so many people joined the campaign after the last installment solely because of the loveable banter between Ghost and Soap. We expected more in this one - only to be disappointed by a few lines of Ghost teasing Soap for admiring the luxury of Milena's estate and boats.

Lastly, let's touch upon the issue of military propaganda and politics. Call of Duty games have often been criticized for glorifying war and promoting a biased perspective. While it's important to acknowledge the bravery of soldiers, it's equally important to question the underlying motives and messages conveyed in these games.

Remember - your fiction might be someone else's nonfiction. Your fun game might be someone's reality. War is something you glorify and play with while someone else actually suffers through it. The genocide in Gaza is a good example of this in current time. So please, don't be insensitive to this. Playing war games is okay, but try to be respectful and not glorify these awful situations where so many people lose their lives or loved ones.

Now, don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed playing and watching Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 for its action-packed gameplay and adrenaline-pumping moments. But as a critical gamer, it's essential to voice our concerns and hold game developers accountable for the content they create.

In the end, it's up to us as players to engage in thoughtful discussions, raise awareness, and promote a more inclusive and responsible gaming industry. Let's encourage game developers to push boundaries, challenge stereotypes, and create games that not only entertain but also inspire meaningful conversations.

So, what are your thoughts on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3? Share your opinions and let's keep the conversation going. Reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated!

-your friendly neighborhood Nyushka :)

[witchvvolf]

this or that? tag!

i was tagged by @thewardenofwinter! you can find their post here! i am combing through my tags to see which ones i'm able to participate in. thank you for giving me plenty of options teehee.

historical or futuristic

i feel like it's much easier to do something historical considering there is already something to build off of? and you have to pull a lot less shit out of your ass, especially considering you can have easy reference for clothing and such. a lot of my rps (shhh) are more historical than modern.

the opening or closing chapter

while i am fully aware of how hard openings are— i love endings. i have yet to write one, but they are so bittersweet. i think i prefer it more out of anticipation.

light+fluffy or dark+gritty

give me the dirt and blood beneath the nails, the pining, the bad boy. in fact, give me the castlevania style shit. give me all of that. in fact, i'll do it myself.

animal companion or found family

in project tsa the mc Venus does have a cat named Farah, but i think found family is so so so sweet. theres just something about it.

horror or romance

romance is so fun. i'm getting into establishing a relationship with some charachters and i think they're going to be absolute sweeties. i also like romance between villians? like the bad guy should get the girl, i'm not even sorry.

hard magic system or soft magic system

i feel like it is so much easier when a magic system is strict and linear. i'm going to have to write one myself for some projects, but especially project labyrinth.

standalone or series

i can see some fulfillment in a standalone, but i can see the appeal of a series. i actually prefer a series, especially if it's slow burn, it won't feel rushed, and if it's the 'a touch of' series, just throw it away.

one project at a time or always juggling 2+

researching for 'endless wip' as we speak.

one award winner or one bestseller

now i aint sayin she a golddigger...

fantasy or sci-fi

give me a sexy mentally ill vampire with mommy and daddy issues. thats all i fuckin want (alucard from castlevania).

character description or setting description

as long as youre not telling me that the mcs brown orbs pierced her own in the mirror as she pulled her shiny, chocolate brown hair pulled into a bun to begin her day so she can have cereal for breakfast before school— then i'm cool. i'd truly rather hear about the sky. if the sun burned like a fluorescent lightbulb in a classroom at 8am— I want that shit.

first draft or final draft

i suppose first! i've not made it to a final yet. i hope i can sometime soon, i want that fulfillment of ending something.

love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

if there is anything to be learned from twilight— it is the fact that love triangles fucking suck. especially when both characters are unstable as shit, one of them being wildly suicidal and the other has some insane anger issues. and besides, the mc always ends up choosing the douchey dude anyhow.

constant sandstorm or rainstorm

my boyfriend made me fall in love with rain. i've learned to tolerate thunder.

as per usual, i have no one to tag, so i will leave the floor open!

[ecofinisher]

Funny Sims images I turned into memes - Part 1

Unless you're a brave or daredevil Sim. Pretty much everyone yells around.

I don't remember why she was running, but it had nothing to do with the baby 😅

If you know Megamind, you'll know what meme we're talking about.

Sometimes people wonder what's going on in people's and animals' heads. Sims at silent moments get a random thought bubble and my dog Maro got a bubble about begging for a promotion. The question is.....for what.

Yes, or I'm going way to far here. (Who have followed me for years know that already 🤭)

Number 2 makes sense, cause at one point before a patch people could have their Sims get pregnant by the Grim Reaper. It was a life goal of many Simmers, but sadly not every can achieve it anymore 😭

If you have ever been in the miraculous fandom, you would know people would use this quote, if two characters, mostly close ones would do the same pose or have the same direction, even in a separate picture. This here is the case.

Never questioned, if Sims would do that, until one day out of boredom I chased the Sim River across the house with a dog and she just stood there with that face.

Accurate representation of a typical Simmer

In real life, love makes you blind, but in the Sims......you tend to lose body parts....🤣 This is now random, but right now Taylor Swift's Love story is playing on Tumblr. As we're in the love topic.

We have seen Don Lothario having a redemption arc from a former womanizer to a daughter's daddy, why not having a former golddigger be a son's mommy? (Things get interesting when you remember, DIna's actually is meant to be a Latina and Latina moms are another level of mom)

Ah yes my first time, everyone walked around with food bowls and smooched around 😂 But I have actually seen more entertaining things done with that cheat.

"That's the wrong fur color, Dr. Jin......"

I think that's not how births work outside the hospital, right? I did always go to the hospital...probably a glitch as usual.

Awoke an old meme....Actually, I don't know, if it works like this. 😶

This is random, but I wrote a oneshot once, where Parker Langerak and his father were playing soccer on the roof of the Tilelicious home, because they kicked the ball up there by accident and needed to bring it back to their boy. Up there, they had a stupid idea....

I had a third one, but it wasn't visible enough.

I don't remember seeing pets smile in the game, to be honest. But Buddy is a cutie here :3

Okay, you still feel the temperature, but......you're wet afterward!

The overly attached girlfriend, but it's a dog.

The most accurate thing is the push-ups at random moments.

In this case, they were stuck on top of a tower without stairs. BUT LOOK AT THEIR PUPPY EYES 🥺

That was a bonus, there' part 2!

[travllingbunny]

Who was the poster who talked about how "Draco in leather pants" is rooted in misogyny and crossed out the girl in fangirls and basically accused all the tropers who posted if being "nice guys" who thought all women wanted to be with jerks? In my experience it's not misogyny, it usually is female fans who often take conventionally attractive male villains and either woobify them or make them into perfect prince charming's. Even villains who have commited horrible crimes like rape or genocide

(pt 2) I typically see this done with characters like Draco Malfoy, Professor Snape, Anakin Skywalker, Billy Hargrove, Loki Laufeyson, Voldemort, Kylo Ren, Michael Langdon. Almost all of the characters on this list have said and done truly horrific things yet it is mostly women I see treating these characters these way. Most male viewers/readers don't really have an interest either way in these villains male or female and don't really go out of their way to defend them in this manner.

This anon sent an ask in 4 parts, and since there's a lot to unpack here, and this will be a long answer, I'll answer the first two in this post, and then the second two (which address a different issue) in another.

Anon, I'll start with the sentence here, because what you're saying is blatantly inaccurate.

Or rather, it's possible that most men, for all I know, don't have that kind of attitude to these specific characters you listed. But it's definitely not true that male fans typically don't idolize and whitewash villains.

In fact, it's equally well known and has been for years that there are many villains, or anti-heroes of the very morally dark variety, who are idolized mostly by men, particularly straight men, including many who don't just enjoy them as villains or anti-heroes but idolize them as cool "badasses" and heroes who in fact, never did anything wrong ; even their crimes were fully justified, and/or their ideology and worldview is in fact completely correct (even when the narrative is going out of its way to show it really isn't).

This has happened. for instance, with villains like The Joker from The Dark Knight, Tyler Durden (...yes, I know - and this only makes it eveb funnier), Negan on The Walking Dead (way before the show gave him a redemption arc, at the time when he was unquestionably the main villain), and even MCU Thanos (which I find particularly mind-boggling - I could understand it with villains like Vulture or Killmonger, but Thanos' ideological motivations are incredibly stupid and nonsensical). I will never forget how Negan fanboys during season 7 argued that he was really so against rape and therefore a good guy, and not a rapist himself - and that his "wives" were not sex slaves but "golddiggers" in consensual relationships with him, ignoring not just Negan's power over the entire community but the fact that the show explicitly showed that at least some of the women were directly blackmailed by the threat of harm or death of their loved ones, and at least one escaped the community so she wouldn't be forced to become his sex slave.

Tywin Lannister is a great example: this is someone who's, among other crimes, guilty of ordering child murders (including that of an infant), mass murder (including an eradication of an entire extended family), gang rape of a 14 year old girl, of sending the worst monsters he could possibly find to commit countless other murders, rapes and torture, who's also a terrible, abusive father to all his children, a major hypocrite, blatantly classist to the point he barely considers common people human, and his overriding motive isn't anything noble but his own arrogance and easily hurt pride. But even when the author goes out of his way to show that his legacy turns to sh1t the moment he dies, you'll still find a ton of fanboys who buy into Tywin's own rationalizations for his actions and will argue that he was in fact the best, smartest political and military leader in the series, and that every crime he committed was justified. Those fanboys even included the GoT showrunners David Benioff and D.B.Weiss, who, oddly enough, included most (if not all) of Tywin's crimes and awful behavior in the show, but still described him as "Lawful Neutral" (?! Funnily enough, he is neither lawful, nor neutral) and parroted the character's own hypocritical justification for the Red Wedding as something they thought the audience should take as gospel truth.

It's also something that commonly happens with villain protagonists, or morally dark antiheroes who are protagonists of their stories. In those cases, one of the main reasons is the fact that a lot of people always expect the protagonist to be the Hero of the story, the Good Guy - especially if the characters starts off sympathetic. Walter White is a very well known example of a villain protagonist that many viewers, and I'be be surprised if most of them were not straight men, identified with and idolized to the point they heaped an incredible amount of hate on the character of his wife Skyler for simply disagreeing with his actions, and even to the point that the actress got harassed and threatened. Tony Soprano and Vic Mackey got similar treatment from many fans, and Don Draper, a pathetic man with a ton of personal issues, somehow became the epitome of Coolness that straight men wanted to emulate.

But in spite of all that, fandoms and TV Tropes have been going on for years only about how bad and stupid and awful it is that certain villains get whitewashed or idolized by female fans, supposedly mostly for being attractive. Cue the "Draco in Leather Pants" trope and similar monikers. I dunno, I'd say that's kind of sexist (and also heteronormative), don't you think so?

Even with the well-known fact that one dude back in the 1980s shot a president not for any political reason but because he watched Taxi Driver and overidentified with Travis Bickle, I haven't seen the fact that many men idolize male villains brought up as an issue - until a few years ago with the panic around Joaquin Phoenix's Joker (which is a bit odd, that this one got so much criticism and not the earlier ones, but maybe that's a sign of the changing tides of the Western society and pop culture). Before this, people would sometimes mention tropes like "Misaimed Fandom", but no one came up with a trope called something like, say, Tywin Sh1tting Gold, to complain specifically about men idolizing villains and dark anti-heroes and justifying all their actions. Instead we got a lot of hang-ringing about oh those airheaded women and the way their minds just don't work when they see a hot dude!

But maybe I'm wrong? Maybe the "Draco in Leather Pants" trope is in fact meant to be an all-accompassing one about people of any gender and sexual orientation whitewashing villains, or just generally whitewashing the flaws and defending the morally wrong actions of their favorite characters? Let's take a look at the Television Trope Draco in Leather Pants page. On top of it, there's a quote that's supposed to summarize what it's about:

"I guarantee you Satan's going to have no problems on this planet because all the women are gonna go 'What a cute butt!' He's Satan! 'You don't know him like I do.' He's the prince of darkness! 'I can change him.'"

— Bill Hicks, Pussywhipped Satan

...Oh.

And now to answer your question: it was @dinamitelove who answered my old post where I criticized this Television Trope, and said, among other things, this about the origins of the trope: "God knows I wasted too much of my time on TV Tropes, and there are a few things I have to say about it. Most members, at least back when I was around during 2009-10 were male, and its sexism was pretty evident on the example pages. Draco in Lether Pants was one of the most egregious examples of this. (...) There was that horrible sexist assumtion that has been around since fiction became massive about the dangers of women consuming it, because their “highly sensitive minds could not distinguish fiction from reality” and that could be dangerous for society (see Madame Bovary). That idea got married with the “Nice guys finish last” idea to create this trope. Althought I have to say that recently, I’ve been seeing it around here amongst female bloggers to attack other fangirls. I guess this idea became an easy way to attack other fangirls for liking stuff I don’t like."

And considering all I pointed out above, I think they were probably right. (Also, in that old conversation, it's been pointed out that fangirls later started throwing the same accusations/mocking each other the same way. But that doesn't necessarily mean there aren't misogynistic assumptions involved.)

Now, I'm not saying that there aren't many fangirls who are really very annoying in how much they're willing to whitewash and justify crimes and awful actions of their favorite male characters who they find appealing in a romantic and/or sexual way. That's certainly true. But it's not unique to female fans, it's not always moticated by romantic or sexual desire, it's not unique to male characters either (as you also pointed out in your asks 3 and 4, which I'll answer in another post).

Plus, sexism isn't the only issue I have with the Draco in Leather Pants trope and its trope page. I got so annoyed with that page that I wrote this post sarcastically tearing it apart. Because that page is a huge mess, from the quote above and the description of the trope, to the various examples people have added to it. As I've already pointed out in that post, the description is incredibly imprecise and full of incorrect assumptions (”A form of Misaimed Fandom, when a fandom takes a controversial or downright villainous character and downplays his/her flaws, often turning him/her into an object of desire and/or a victim in the process. This can cause conflicts if the writers are not willing to retool the character to fit this demand.”) - For starters, it's not like villains, let alone controversial characters who aren't necessarily villains, aren't often 1) deliberately presented as sexy and desirable in canon, and/or 2) given sympathetic qualities and tragic backstories or even are actual victims (of rape, abuse etc.) in canon, and/or 3) shown to have some good qualities and a potential to be better people or get redemption. And with the imprecise wording like "villains or controversial characters", you can apply that to almost every character.

No surprise that the examples people added are an even bigger mess. Examples include canonical villains, heroes turned villains, villains turned redeemed heroes, anti-heroes or even flawed heroes. Many of the characters mentioned were definitely deliberately portrayed as sexy in canon (and a few even literally wore leather in canon) and promoted as such, and/or were love interests of the heroes. Many of them were abuse or rape victims in canon, had PTSD, are shown crying and having emotional breakdowns, etc. So, basically, the people who added them to the page were complaining that the fans were "woobifying" chararacters that were already "woobified" by the creators, or putting characters in "leather pants" who were in leather pants to begin with.

(I haven't read or seen much of Harry Potter, but a few people also pointed out that even Draco Malfoy doesn't fit this - since he was, a child, and more of a school bully antagonist and not some Big Bad monster.)

It would make a lot more sense if the trope was simply about fans defending their faves at any cost and whitewashing them or justifying their actions, which often happens. However, that's tricky too - because while that happens a lot, you know what else often happens in fandom debates? Haters portraying the characters they hate in the worst light possible, even making up things that are not in canon, but more often insisting on the worst possible intepretations, or denying even the obvious good qualities the character has, or even denying or downplaying the character's victimization or disability, because those don't fit with the the idea of them as 100% mousache-twirling evil monsters.

Both of these things come from a similar place: the tendency to see things as black and white, and it gets worse when fandoms try to make liking fictional characters into a morality contest. Fandom debates are often terrible because people on opposing sides start ignoring nuance and get more entrenched in their views because it's all about defending their fave or attacking the characters they hate (or pointing out the hypocrisy of the opposing side of the fandom).

Then you get debates that sound like this:

A: How dare you say that [my favorite character] is a ____!

B: Err, they did this horrible thing, which means they are.

A: But in their society, this thing is not considered bad as it is in ours, because [mental gymnastics and really messed up arguments]

but you may also get this:

A: This character (X) is disgusting and evil and anyone who likes them is immoral, bad and an idiot!

B (fan of said character): How is X worse than your fave, Y? Y is also a murderer and a terrorist and war criminal, same as X...

A: Oh yeah, well X is worse because... [throws some random accusation that makes no sense]

B: WTF? That's not true.

A: X"s fans are so annoying! You can't realize that X is a villain! You think X is perfect and you keep whitewashing X!

Or, how about this:

Fan 1: writes a post about a character focused on their disability, which is 100% just about the real life medical facts of how having this particular condition would affectthem.

The post angers a whole bunch of fans who hate said character, who mock it and rant in quotes, saying things like "Now you are babying war criminals!" "How dare you compare X to real canon disabled characters! Missing a body part doesn't make him disabled!"

Bizarre? I didn't make up this example. It's almost word by word what happened on Twitter a couple of months ago.

What's normal defense of a character and what's whitewashing often depends on whether you're a fan or a hater of said character. The line isn't always clear. And tropes like "Draco in a Leather Pants" are often just used by people who want to complain and rant about the fact that, shock horror, some fans dare like the characters they hate, orr prefer them to their own (obviously superior) fave. Most of the examples on that page read exactly like that.

[anilovie]

im EATING this up mae 😮‍💨🦋 let me review:

"Oh, what does he smell like? Expensive?” 

no cause i can just smell him through the screen. my god he'd smell so expensive n manly. like money and leather shoes i bet. i dunno. like im not a golddigger but imagine him going to pay for their little lunch, reaching for his wallet in his back pocket and the movement of his arm rustles his suit jacket, sends a breeze your way and just MMMMM. and his hand looks all veiny, long fingers flipping through to get his heavy card out, waving off your offers to pay, light glinting off the couple of chunky silver rings he wears, i.. i need to stop.

“I don’t know,” you shrug, unable to explain the stirring of feelings and emotions in your chest. “He’s… he was sort of awkward when we first met. Like, stuttering and fumbling over his words. Almost as if I made him nervous.”

He's so pookie 🥺

also Anakin calling Leia "princess" -- like c'monnn i love the little nuggets of canon SW

Anakin cleans the corners of his mouth with his napkin while he formulates an appropriate response.

why is that hot ?? omg ???

“Yes, sir,” huh? That’s a new kink unlocked.

PLEASE im foaming at the mouth 😮‍💨

Ben Kenobi arrives shortly after you, sharply dressed in dark blue slacks, caramel leather Oxfords, and a white collared shirt with small polka dots that match the color of his pants. 

why is this depiction of him so accurate. im baffled n cant stop thinking about it. like -- the oxfords??? theyre gonna be caramel. the shirt??? has to be polka dotted. bereal now.

Anakin twirls Rose’s hair around his fist and yanks her face away from his. This makes her gasp with pleasure, and despite his annoyance, he loves the reaction he gets from her. “I didn’t fucking ask you here for your opinion on her. Do not talk about her again. Do you understand?” 

“Yes,” Rose breathes. “Where do you want me?” 

“On your knees.”

he's so 🤭🤭🤭 so protective eeeeeeeee (but also such a douche) but eeeeeeeeeee 🥰🥰🥰💖

also i immediately heard the mortis arc "on your knees" idk if u did that on purpose but I love it

You busy yourself in a filing cabinet until you hear Anakin’s door open again. You tell yourself not to look up because if you look up at him you might actually burst into tears.

no cause i would cry like fat dripping messy tears like ow

but then he asks to get lunch with her all awkward again and eeeeeeeeeeeeeee 🤭🤭🥰🥰🤭💖💖

Your face is buried in the menu, effectively blocking you from looking at Anakin. Your nerves are irritably on fire as you sit knee to knee with your boss.

id be so scared and horny UGHHH

“You are awfully quiet behind there,” Anakin finally says. “Are you hiding from me?” 

the dilf energy here is unmatched i need water 😮‍💨😮‍💨

You look up at him timidly. He’s being sincere. One corner of his lips are quirked up to form a sideways smile and your heart— your stupid, stupid heart adores it. 

dead. dead and dying and gone.

plz mae this was so good, ur writing style is so satisfying and you make it seem effortless. apart from the story, im completely in admiration of ur abilities. keep it up 💖💖💖

As Fate Would Have It | Chapter Three

Lines are beginning to blur between you and Anakin.

◂ chapter two ▸ chapter four

rating: mature | pairing: dilf!anakin skywalker x afab!reader | wc: 5.2k | read on ao3

warnings: alcohol, age-gaps, body image insecurities (anakin), sexual fantasies/content, swearing, a little bit of mean anakin

“Tell me everything! Is he everything you thought he’d be? Totally dreamy? All stoic and boss-like? Oh, what does he smell like? Expensive?” 

Your best friend has barely taken off her shoes before bombarding you with questions about your first day working for Anakin Skywalker. You give her a welcoming hug before taking her hand and leading her into the living room. “Come on, I’ve already opened a bottle of wine.” 

Two empty glasses stand next to a middle-shelf Pinot Gris on your coffee table. Sabine takes it upon herself to pour the wine and pulls the granny square blanket from the back of your couch over her lap. She looks like she’s settling in for a bedtime story. 

“Okay, I’m ready. Lay it on me.” 

You situate yourself on the opposite end of the couch and slip your legs under the blanket. You take a small sip of wine before attempting to answer any of Sabine’s questions. Your first day at Skywalker Enterprises went by in a blur. Meeting your boss was not at all how you imagined it would go. It was all so clumsy. Anakin seemed more like an embarrassed school boy than the confident CEO you were expecting. He looked like he saw a ghost when he saw you sitting behind your desk. And then, in the car on the way to his house, he addressed your butt. 

“Let me know if your butt gets too toasty,” he said. It was so incredibly adorable because you could tell he let a little bit of his guard down when he said it. Obviously, he didn’t mean to. Because no sensible boss should talk about his assistant’s butt. Especially not when you’ve only just met each other. You found it endearing. 

But then, after the initial awkwardness faded and you continued talking to each other throughout the day, there was a sense of familiarity about him. The structure of his sentences when he spoke reminded you of someone. You’re just not sure who. 

“He’s not really what I thought he’d be like.”

“How so?” Sabine asks. 

“I don’t know,” you shrug, unable to explain the stirring of feelings and emotions in your chest. “He’s… he was sort of awkward when we first met. Like, stuttering and fumbling over his words. Almost as if I made him nervous.” 

Sabine nods slowly with her eyes narrowed. “Go on…” 

“Well, that’s crazy, right? The fact that I could’ve made him nervous?” 

“Not necessarily. Look at you. You didn’t have a successful OnlyFans page for nothing.” 

“Yeah, but he’s in his forties,” you emphasize. You remind yourself of his age nearly every minute to remember how inappropriate it is to be attracted to your boss. Applying for the job was such a bad idea. What made you think you wouldn’t be attracted to him when you saw him in person? Your cheeks get hot as you think about him rounding the car to open your door once you got back to the office after dropping off his son’s pants at school. It was just a common courtesy, not a sign of interest. But damn, was it nice to be on the reciprocating end of something gentlemanly.

“And he’s a dad! I shouldn’t be making dads nervous,” you add. “I mean, I saw a picture of his wife at his house. She was stunning. Stunning, Sabine. High cheekbones, a nice straight nose, a gorgeous smile…” 

“Wait, he’s married?!” Sabine sets down her glass. 

“Widowed.” 

“Oh,” Sabine says sadly. Then her eyebrows perk up. “Oh.” 

“Don’t,” you hold up your finger. “Don’t give me that look. He’s my boss.” 

“But you like him,” Sabine sings. “And from what it sounds like, he likes you too.” 

You cannot let Sabine put the idea of Anakin Skywalker, engineering millionaire, having a measly little crush on you. Because it’s absolutely absurd. He’s him and you’re… you’re just a girl who was uploading videos of herself masturbating for money just last week. Not that there is anything wrong with sex work. It’s empowered you in so many ways, but it was time to find something a bit more steady and reliable. And less physically taxing, to be perfectly honest. 

“Sabine, be serious. I-” your phone pings with a distinct tone that makes you pause. 

New Message from Skyguy81 

“Oh, my God,” you say. 

“What?” Sabine asks. 

“It’s Sky,” you answer her while opening the message.

Sabine eagerly crawls on top of you to peer at your screen. “Sky as in Rich Guy Sky? Did you upload a new video or something? What did he say?”

“No,” you shake your head. “I haven’t uploaded anything since last Thursday. Get off of me so I can read his message.” 

Sabine retreats to her side of the couch as you begin reading to her. 

“I thought about you at work today. I thought about you more than I would like to admit. You have no idea what you do to me, Honey. No idea what I would do to you.” Your tongue feels like sandpaper and your heart is in the bottom of your throat. 

“Oh, shit!” Sabine exclaims. “You’ve got this boy whipped! Honestly, you should just keep making videos for him. He was your best tipper, anyway.” 

“He’s never… he’s never messaged me out of the blue before.” You chug down the last of your wine, thinking you may need some liquid courage for whatever conversation is about to unfold between you and Sky. 

“He wants you,” Sabine says simply. “Make it happen.” 

“I can’t just meet up with someone from OnlyFans. It’s an episode of Dateline waiting to happen.” 

Sabine rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so cynical.” 

“I’m not being cynical, I’m being logical,” you counter. You’d be foolish to risk your life by meeting up with Skyguy81. No matter how nice and genuine he seems over private messages. No matter how much money he has tipped you. There is no guarantee he’s not absolutely creepy and going to kidnap you.

Okay, so maybe you watch too much true crime. That’s why you have to balance it out with The Great British Bake Off. 

“I don’t know. I’m just saying,” Sabine finishes her wine, “you never know. He could be the love of your life.” 

You’re quiet as you contemplate the love of your life. Sabine is the romantic. You’re the realist. You have a hard time believing there’s one person in the world who you’re destined to be with. How do you explain Anakin losing his wife? Was she the love of his life? Is he not supposed to move on and potentially find happiness with someone else? None of it makes sense to you and it’s quite possibly because you’ve never been in love. 

And the image of the person who you might like the opportunity to love is entirely unavailable. 

.

.

.

It’s times like tonight when Anakin wishes he didn’t raise such inquisitive, curious children. Leia is simply chock-full of questions about her dad’s new assistant. When do they get to meet her? Soon. Is she old like Auntie Dorothy? No. Does she like vintage Disney movies? (Anything before 2010 is “vintage” to Leia). I don’t know. 

Luke, on the other hand, was very disappointed to learn that you were in the car while his dad dropped off a new pair of pants. “You made her wait in the car like a dog?” 

Anakin snorts. “I wouldn’t quite say like a dog, Luke. I was gone for less than five minutes.” 

“Did you at least roll down the window? So she could have fresh air?” Leia joins in on the comical idea of their dad leaving his assistant in his car like a pet. 

“That’s enough out of you two,” Anakin says through a grin. These 9 year olds, man. What is he going to do with them? 

Luke and Leia nod, going back to stabbing their dumplings with their chopsticks. 

“I have one last question.” Leia watches her dumpling precariously dangle on the edge of her chopstick. 

“What is that, princess?” Anakin asks.   

“Is she pretty?” 

Anakin’s pulse is going to burst. It’s a simple question- one that always seems to be on the tip of Leia’s tongue. She wants a woman figure in her life. Soon, she’ll be at the age that is easier to navigate with a maternal presence. Anakin is really not equipped to talk her through menstrual cycles. 

But it’s the nature of who his new assistant is that makes him feel so exposed. He can’t very well tell his children you’re the most beautiful woman he’s seen since his wife. And he definitely can’t tell them that you’ve been in his life not since this morning, but since three years ago when he downloaded OnlyFans. 

Anakin cleans the corners of his mouth with his napkin while he formulates an appropriate response. He’s kept his answers short and simple because if he thinks about you for too long, your figure seeps into his vision, your voice burns in his ears, and he’s unable to focus. 

He feels like such a sleaze for getting hard just by thinking about you. You are so much more than a sexual object. And trust him, he can’t wait to learn about all that makes you you. But morals be damned. He wants you desperately. 

“Yes, Leia. She’s quite pretty,” Anakin finally answers. 

Leia can’t help but dance excitedly in her seat. “I can’t wait to meet her.” 

“I could’ve met her today,” Luke mumbles. “If Dad hadn’t locked her up in the car.” 

Anakin is laughing now. “I have a feeling you are going to be bringing this up for a while.” 

After dinner, the kids clear the dishes and load what they can into the dishwasher. Meanwhile, Anakin does something either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. 

.

.

.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

I thought about you at work today. I thought about you more than I would like to admit. You have no idea what you do to me, Honey. No idea what I would do to you.

Now being 10 pm, it’s been 3 hours since Anakin— or rather, Skyguy81— sent you that message. 

And you still haven’t replied. But you read it. 

And the fact that you’ve read the message but decided not to reply makes Anakin feel so incredibly foolish. What was he thinking? What was he expecting from you? More meaningless flirting? 

Except now it’s not meaningless for him. He’s not sure if it was ever meaningless. But now that he knows who the woman behind HoneySuckle is, it’s completely different. You have a name— which he had to look up in employment records because he’s convinced he actually blacked out when you introduced yourself. You have passions and interests, favorite snacks, and a go-to karaoke song. He wants to know it all. 

And even though he’s going to see you tomorrow, he couldn’t resist the urge to message you on OnlyFans. But since you’ve opted not to reply to him, he’s now wallowing like a teenage boy. 

Ridiculous. He’s better than this, goddamnit! 

Finally deciding to stop staring at his phone, Anakin strips down to take a shower. It’s hard for him not to feel disappointed when he looks at himself in the mirror. Arguably, he’s still in great shape. He lifts weights at the gym at least twice a week, sometimes three if he has the time. He doesn’t have a beer belly, which he considers an accomplishment at his age. But he does have some extra fat around his love handles. He has sun spots on his shoulders from the countless pool days when the twins were younger. And then there are the undeniable lines around his eyes, which are incredibly prominent when he smiles. 

Anakin has never felt particularly insecure about his image before. He’s accepted that his body is not the same 20 year old body it once was. But there’s a new nagging insecurity in the back of his mind.

Is it good enough for you? 

Anakin turns on the water in the shower, needing to wash away all delusions of you and him ever getting together. As soon as he steps one foot on the tile, his phone buzzes. He grabs his phone off of the counter and his heart rate immediately ticks up. 

Hi Sky, I’m sorry for the delay. I had a friend over. Here’s a special little something for you ;) 

Attached is a picture of you on your bed, sitting on your heels with the thin straps of your panties pulled over your hips. You’re lifting an oversized t-shirt above your breasts, which also expertly hides your face. Right. Because you don’t know that he knows who you are. 

Still, the picture was worth the wait. It’s almost embarrassing the way his cock is already standing upright, the tip pressing against his lower abdomen. He focuses on your hard nipples, picturing himself enclosing his mouth around one of your mounds. He’s rolling his tongue over your bud while massaging your other breast. Your hands are in his hair and you’re anything but silent. You’re moaning his name, begging for more, whining for him to put his cock inside of you. 

Anakin is too preoccupied to even reply to you. He gets himself under the steady stream of hot water and grabs the base of his length. Now he’s picturing you on top of him, tits bouncing in his face while you fuck yourself on his cock. 

“Mmm, yes! Anakin, please. Feels so good.” 

Your hands are pressed against his strong chest for support. He loves you like this— in control but still pathetically needy for his dick. “How much do you love it?” he asks. “Tell me how much you love this cock inside of you.” 

You throw your head back when he slaps both of your ass cheeks. He grabs onto your flesh firmly and your cunt clamps around him while you proclaim it to be the best feeling in the world. “I love it so much, Ani. Nobody's cock feels as good as yours.” 

“Damn right,” Anakin grits. He holds your chin with a strong hand, forcing you to look at him. “This pussy is mine. You understand that?” 

“Yes, sir,” you moan as Anakin bucks his hips up, hitting deep inside of you. “Only yours.” 

“Yes, sir,” huh? That’s a new kink unlocked. Anakin presses a palm on the shower wall to steady himself as he cums. It’s anything from pretty. It happens suddenly and quickly, thanks to the vivid images he was creating in his mind. He bites down on his bottom lip to keep from moaning too loudly. But your name is rolling off of his tongue effortlessly. As if it’s always been in the recesses of his mind, just waiting to be said intimately and passionately. 

He tries to list off the hundreds of reasons why he should never utter your name in a less than professional manner while shampooing his hair. 

You’re his assistant.

You’re significantly younger than him. 

The power imbalance (see 1 and 2). 

That’s all he can come up with for now and it’s enough. Nothing good will come out of pining for you and fantasizing about you. It still doesn’t stop him from messaging you back after he gets out of the shower and settles in bed. 

Now I feel guilty for not responding sooner. Thank you for the spectacular photo. It is unfortunate that I had to take matters into my own, ahem, hands. I would have much preferred to have your help. 

You flatter me, Sky. Do I really get you that worked up? 

Impossibly so. 

When you said you thought about me at work… What exactly did you mean? 

To be perfectly blunt, you were bent over a desk with your skirt pushed over your ass. I was fucking you well and hard, with my name being the only thing falling from your pretty lips. 

Anakin lets out a heavy sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. Why does he keep putting himself in situations that result in an erection? He just needs to have a good fuck. Get it out of his system. Yeah, that’s what he’ll do. But under no circumstances will it be with you. 

I think I’d like that very much. 

Goddamnit. Anakin needs to stop while he’s ahead. While he’s not succumbing to jerking off for a second time tonight. This was a disastrous idea. Because now when he sees you at work tomorrow, he’s going to think about how you would like for him to fuck you over your desk. Except you don’t actually know that it’s him who wants to fuck you over your desk. 

Maybe in another life. 

Anakin leaves it at that. He puts his phone on do not disturb and attempts to get some reading in before going to sleep. He also prays for G-rated dreams. 

.

.

.

The morning fog of late November in Northern California is still hanging in the air when you get to work at 8 am. Anakin won’t be in until he drops off Luke and Leia which means he should arrive around the same time he did yesterday. It gives you an hour to go through voicemails, reply to emails, and brew a pot of coffee in the breakroom. 

Ben Kenobi arrives shortly after you, sharply dressed in dark blue slacks, caramel leather Oxfords, and a white collared shirt with small polka dots that match the color of his pants. 

“Good morning, Mr. Kenobi,” you greet.  

“Please, call me Ben. No need for formalities around here,” Ben replies. “You’ll soon see we operate very much like a family. There will be shouting and likely some name calling, but it’s all in the name of love for engineering and innovation.” 

“Got it,” you nod. “It’s just that Dorothy always called Mr. Skywalker by, well, Mr. Skywalker. And yesterday he didn’t tell me to call him otherwise.” 

Ben strokes his nicely groomed beard. “Interesting. Well, I suppose you can continue to address him as such until he tells you to call him Anakin. Which I’m sure he’ll do this morning when he gets in. Have you brewed the coffee yet?” 

“Not yet.” you stand. “I wanted to check messages first, but coffee is next on the list.” 

“Excellent.” Ben follows you into the breakroom. “How are you enjoying your time here?” 

“Well, it’s only been a day,” you remind him with a light lilt to your voice. “But it’s been good! Everyone I’ve met is super friendly.” 

Ben leans back against the counter, crossing his ankles and arms over his chest. “And you and Anakin? You two getting along? He’s not giving you too much trouble, is he?” 

You nearly spill the coffee grounds as you bring the spoon up from the container to the machine. “No!” you say a little too loudly. “I mean, no. He’s been very nice. Quiet, but nice.” 

“Anakin? Quiet?” Ben almost laughs. “I’ve never heard that word used to describe Anakin before.” 

“Oh.” you continue scooping grounds into the machine. How many spoonfuls are you supposed to put in? You’ve lost count. Maybe two more for good measure. You’d rather make the coffee too strong than too weak. Nothing is worse than weak coffee. “Maybe I caught him on an off day. He did seem a little weird when he brought me to his house. And then I sort of told him off in the car…” 

This gets Ben away from the counter and walking over to you. “You did what?” 

“Well, I mean, I didn’t tell him off per se. I just asked him to give me a chance. It seemed like he’d already made a decision about me and we’d only known each other for a couple of hours.” 

“Good for you,” Ben replies. “Anakin is headstrong but he can be reasoned with. If the reason is worth being reasoned over.” 

“Am I?” you ask. “Worth being reasoned over?” 

Ben appears to give you a once over and then nods once. “Yes, I’d say so.” 

“Thanks…” you say with uncertainty. Ben takes himself and his briefcase to his office, which is the next door over from Anakin’s. He leaves you alone in the breakroom with a dozen questions. Was Ben assessing your appearance? Surely not for himself. He’s insanely in love with his wife— the mayor. Then who for? Anakin? No. No way. 

The coffee has begun to brew— the nutty notes of Philz Philtered Soul bringing you back to your college days. There’s one in walking distance from campus and you and Sabine spent every finals week there chugging back Mint Mojitos and Mocha Tesoras. 

Those days were not that long ago for you. For Anakin, on the other hand… 

You shake your head, effectively shaking thoughts of Anakin taking any interest in you away. And why would he have an interest in you? He’s bound to have a list of more age-appropriate women he can bring home to his children. 

Stop thinking about it. 

But it’s so damn hard not to. A forbidden office romance with your boss who’s 20 years your senior? Yeah, it’s cliché and sort of sounds like the plot to a porno but it’s sort of fun, too. As long as you keep yourself in check, what’s the harm in pretending like he’s secretly in love with you and wants to take you home? 

.

.

.

When Anakin gets into the office, he doesn’t even greet you before saying, “Call Rose. Tell her to come as soon as possible.” 

So much for him being nice yesterday. Now he won’t even look at you. “Who’s Rose? What- what is the appointment for?” 

“You don’t need to know what it’s for,” Anakin snaps. “Just find Rose in your little phone book, call her, and tell her I need to see her immediately.” 

“Y-yes, sir,” you say while thumbing through the contacts Dorothy left behind for you. Without another word, Anakin goes into his office and slams the door. 

What the hell was that about? That was once again another awkward morning of Anakin slamming his office door after talking to you. You thought you left work on good terms yesterday. What changed? 

.

.

.

Rose Montgomery arrives 47 minutes after you call her. You hear her Louboutins clicking on the floor before you see her. Your eyes trail up from her long legs to her slim waist and perky boobs until you reach her face. Good Lord. She is strikingly beautiful. Her fiery red hair falls in loose curls over her shoulders. As she walks closer to your desk, you are drawn to her perfectly round green eyes. She’s like the real-deal Jolene from Dolly Parton’s hit song. Seriously, did she grow up being called Jolene solely based on her looks? 

“Aw, look at you,” Rose smiles down at you. “You must be the new Dorothy.” 

“I suppose I am.” 

“Aren’t you just the most adorable thing.” 

Uh… What the hell are you supposed to say to that? “I’ll let Mr. Skywalker know you’re here.” 

“No need,” Rose informs. “I’ll let myself in.” She begins to walk away with an extra sway to her hips. You want to hate her but she’s got such an air of confidence that you actually want to be a little more like her. 

“Oh, um, actually I’m not sure about that,” you come out from behind your desk. “He seems to be in a mood so I don’t want you barging in his office to make it worse.” 

Rose turns on her heels and purses her lips. “Actually, sweetheart, I’ve known him longer than you and this isn’t my first ‘appointment’ with him. So if you don’t mind, I’d like to go make his mood a little better.” 

Okay. Now you hate her. With that, Rose leaves you standing outside of Anakin’s office with a dumbfounded look on your face. Is that… is she… a booty call? 

All of the insinuations are there; from the air quotes around “appointment” to the way she said she’ll make Anakin’s mood better. Coupled with her outstanding looks, you’ve decided that Rose Montgomery is a friend with benefits of Anakin Skywalker. You trudge back to your desk and do your absolute best not to think about what’s happening behind your boss’s door. 

.

.

.

At the sound of his door opening, Anakin quickly closes his computer tab and turns off the monitor. He pulls his headphones off of his head and puts them in the drawer. 

Rose is none the wiser as she drops her Birkin bag on the table beside the chaise. “Ugh, who is that child you have sitting behind Dorothy’s desk?” 

“My new assistant,” Anakin answers through a dry throat. Rose sits herself on his lap and drapes her arms over his shoulders. She begins playing with the ends of his curls, which normally, he would enjoy. But he really just wants to get this over with. He draws down the zipper of her black dress while she kisses along his jaw. 

“She seems incompetent,” Rose says between kisses. “What is she? Like, 15?” 

Anakin twirls Rose’s hair around his fist and yanks her face away from his. This makes her gasp with pleasure, and despite his annoyance, he loves the reaction he gets from her. “I didn’t fucking ask you here for your opinion on her. Do not talk about her again. Do you understand?” 

“Yes,” Rose breathes. “Where do you want me?” 

“On your knees.”

.

.

.

When Rose leaves Anakin’s office, you can absolutely tell she and Anakin had sex. Did she even bother looking in the mirror or her phone camera before coming out? She avoids looking in your direction at all costs and knowing how awkward those walks of shame can be after a one night stand, you decide not to watch her walk to the elevator. 

You busy yourself in a filing cabinet until you hear Anakin’s door open again. You tell yourself not to look up because if you look up at him you might actually burst into tears. Which makes absolutely no sense to you but you feel that stinging in your nose and you’re trying to think of the time you got Panini because at least those were happy tears. 

Anakin says your name. 

Damnit. Get it together. You take a deep breath and plaster on a smile. At least he doesn’t look like he just had sex. His hair is combed back the same way it was when he walked in and his clothes are wrinkle free. “Yes, Mr. Skywalker?” 

“Would you like to go get lunch?” 

It’s only 10:45 but of course, he’d be hungry after having sex. “Oh, sure. What can I get you?” 

“I meant me.” 

You furrow your brows together. “Sorry?” 

“I mean us. You and me, together. Fuck,”  Anakin mumbles that last part. It’s like he loses the part of his brain that forms proper sentences when he looks at you. Think back to the car, Anakin. Things weren’t so bad in the car. Wait, yes they were. He told you to tell him if your butt got too toasty. 

You can’t help but smile as you start to see the Anakin who let his guard down in the car. He’s nothing like the Anakin who walked into the office this morning. “You want me to get lunch with you?” 

“Yes. If you would like.” 

You grab your thrifted black leather bag and your coat off of the back of your chair. “I think I’d like that very much.” 

I think I’d like that very much. 

That is the second time you’ve said that to Anakin. 

On the drive to the farm to table restaurant he suggested, he thinks about telling you the truth. That he’s Skyguy81 and you’ve been messaging each other for three years. Oh, and that he’s seen you naked. 

He weighs all of the pros and cons and all of the ways the situation could play out if he tells you. He decides the only way it’s going to end is with you quitting and never wanting to see him again. Telling you who he is is out of the question. 

Your face is buried in the menu, effectively blocking you from looking at Anakin. Your nerves are irritably on fire as you sit knee to knee with your boss. You go out to lunch with someone to talk. To get to know them. But you have no idea what to talk about with him. Either he’s super blunt or incredibly awkward and you don’t know what to make of it. 

Could Sabine be right? Does he have a crush on you? Do men in their forties even get crushes? 

“You are awfully quiet behind there,” Anakin finally says. “Are you hiding from me?” 

You slam your menu down nervously. “What? Oh, no. Just… looking at all of the options.” 

“I’m kidding,” Anakin chuckles. “If it helps, Leia likes the poke rice bowl. Luke likes the flatbread with artichokes. And I normally just get a burger.” 

“Wow, a 9 year old who likes poke? You’ve got some interesting kids.” 

“You have no idea,” Anakin replies bashfully. He really calms down when he talks about his kids. Maybe that’s your key to him. Keep him talking about his kids. 

“Well, I think I’ll try Leia’s favorite. Do your kids enjoy trying different types of food?” 

Anakin gives you a noncommittal shrug. “I suppose so. I didn’t raise them to be picky eaters. They eat what I eat. We had dumplings last night. They’re shit at using chopsticks but it makes for an entertaining meal.” 

You laugh along with him, feeling yourself relax the more you see Anakin relax. “I love dumplings!” 

“Yeah? We’ll have to have you over some time for dumplings, then.” Anakin doesn’t even realize what he’s saying until it’s hanging between you, awaiting your response. 

“That would be nice,” you admit. “I can’t wait to meet them. Of course, you know… if they even want to meet me.” 

“Are you kidding? Luke almost threw a fit over me leaving you in the car yesterday. And Leia… well, Leia gets excited about any new woman in my life. I mean, not that you’re my new woman, just you know, in terms of you being Dorothy’s replacement and-” 

You place your hand over Anakin’s without a second thought. And it’s more than just skin on skin. It’s electric. You resist the urge to pull away because the overwhelming feeling almost keeps you from saying: “It’s fine, Mr. Skywalker. I get what you mean.” 

Anakin is looking down at your hands and you wonder if he feels it too. Or if it’s entirely inappropriate to put your hand on his and he’s going to go back to being standoffish. You remove your hand from his and sit on it. 

“You don’t have to call me that,” Anakin murmurs. “Mr. Skywalker. I would much prefer you to call me Anakin.” 

You look up at him timidly. He’s being sincere. One corner of his lips are quirked up to form a sideways smile and your heart— your stupid, stupid heart adores it.  Perhaps there is harm in pretending like your boss is in love with you. Perhaps keeping yourself in check is going to be a lot more difficult than you thought. Because now that you’re on a first name basis with Anakin Skywalker, you fear simply being his assistant is not going to be enough.

◂ series masterlist ▸ chapter four (coming soon)

[screechingsandwichhologram]

might as well start campaigning now??? anyway vote quackity. here are ten reasons why you should:

has a character that was engaged to someone who later became royalty, was married to a president (and then killed him when he became a super massive dick), then got engaged to two dudes, experienced a fuckton of heartbreak and then started having an enemies arc with queer subtext to a zombie.

is a golddigger

murders people

have you seen the art???????? sexyman material right there

did i mention having a crush on the guy who basically started the trend of fucking him over but he didnt want to admit it so they just started to fight with each other?

ate the heart of his ex-husband (who was the president) (who he had a part in killing)

lets face it. his skins are kinda lackluster. or at least his face is. and then look at the art and fan adaptions!!!!!! they make him so tumblr sexyman

made some really questionable moral decisions but is still babygirl

has songs about him

also i dont watch karmaland or anything but I've heard that he's great in that too

[the-greendalehumanbeings]

honestly why not make the sharmas a british indian impoverished gentry family living in somerset? there's clearly other south asians in england and the ton, the show could still show their culture and customs, but the voyage from india alone brings up a few issues. idk maybe kate had some suitors in somerset? but the timing was bad and she turned them down because her father just died, mary was still grieving, and edwina was like 10. since women were expected to leave their families to join their husbands, maybe none of her suitors had the money/accommodations/willingness to take her mother and sister in, so she chose to stay and take care of them instead. she becomes frustrated with these men and the idea of marriage, dashing her previous romantic notions of love matches like her parents or her dad and mary. being a naive 18 yo suddenly in charge of managing the household she didn't make the best financial decisions at first which made things worse, then asked the sheffields for help not realizing the extent of the situation with mary and her father (because she was so young when mary and her dad married, and they sheltered her from the harsher stuff the way she does with edwina now). now make it so that mary was absent in the first years but stepped up later (and show it!) and feels guilty so she's the one who asks lady danbury for help. kate actually tells mary about edwina's dowry thinking it was a good idea until mary fully explains what happened with the sheffields years ago and now she feels guilty. they get a proper mother-daughter character arc addressing their shortcomings and guilt. edwina becomes more aware of their financial situation and picks anthony (the rich titled suitor who cares about family so yay maybe he'll help them all?) because she (misguidedly ofc) feel like a burden and wants to repay the sacrfices kate and mary have made - edwina and kate both have proper character arcs revolving around duty to family for women in the era, which also serves to parallel anthony's arc about duty for a man. now there's a cohesive theme about duty vs desire for the season through multiple characters. and actual commentary building on s1 on marriage being how women survived in the era due to the lack of other options (edwina is not a golddigger 🙄 and kate's deal with the sheffields for edwina to marry a man of english peerage is a pretty typical goal for the women of the ton? the bigger issue is that they're terrible people whose love for family is conditional)

idk this is just me rewriting the sharmas in the show, trying to give them a proper backstory and spitballing ideas for character development, combining parts of the book and show, ofc it's not near perfect. i'm just coming up with possible alternatives to make sense of what the show was trying for but missed by a mile because of messy writing 😬 also me caring more about the female characters and women's relationships with each other more than these writers do 🔪

bridgerton is really lucky for the actors, they really sell their characters and work with what they're given, but even the best can only do so much with garbage writing holding them back

Yeah, I agree. They should have just come from Somerset. In s1, I think one of Daphne's suitors in the ton was played by a British Indian actor and had an English name as well (I think it was Lord Hardy). Then there was Lucy Granville, who had an English name. The changes to Sharma's backstory and Bridgeton's whole colour-conscious casting bring up many uncomfortable colonial implications. I cringe any time someone suggests Anthony visit India. Dorset was bad enough. We are just lucky he didn't mention yoga or anything about having a spiritual awakening when visiting India. Not to mention we all know what English aristocrats were up to when they visited India. Hopefully, next season the show and Anthony will stay far away from the topic of India.

Yeah, the season would have benefitted by having a theme related to all their subplots. I think it felt like there were more subplots than s1 because they didn't relate to the main plot. The subplots like the Ponzi scheme, Prudence, LW, Eloise and Theo, and Queen were all intertwined. Whereas the love story was completely separate from everything else that was going on. I also wish that Sharma's story arc explored women's lack of options and how vulnerable they were without a male relative/guardian. Making Kate's role align with Anthony was dumb. The books and the show seem to take the stance that wanting to marry for love = good debutante and marrying for money = bad debutante. And a lot of fandom seems to have internalised this, which is unfortunate. Honestly, I think it would have been fun seeing the Sharma's scheming to bag a rich man.

I think a large part of this S2's success is because audiences are desperate for romances with two good actors and great chemistry to match, which Jonathon Bailey and Simone Ashley delivered.

[ranboo-my-beloved]

GOLDDIGGER ARC POG???

[gardenscapeswiki]

That Jane teasing was like early in the main house arc, soooo long ago.

Something unscientific eh? Not saying Jane's a golddigger but she really saw a rich asshole and went I can fix him, respect. Austin better move on to better and gayer prospects...

So, this is probably the most random thing I’ve ever posted on tumblr.com, but…am I crazy, or is Austin/Matthias actually a pretty reasonable pair to legit ship in Gardenscapes?

[sp-ud]

Forgot to post my bullet point list of liveblogs/thoughts while I was in post limit jail yesterday, so under the keep reading it is if anyone wonders

• Girl help, it's 2pm and I have till 11pm till post limit resets

• I'm not liking any art because I don't like without reblogging

• When did Phil switch to dsmp? I swear he was doing he?

• Also is he spawn proofing ranboks house? Pog!

• But back to tubbo for now

• Is this the earliest I've hit post limit? Makes sense cuz I didn't sleep.

• Wtf happened on Phil's stream? Oh wait did he find the vault? And then the prime room?

• Apparently he found Carl.

• Just saw someone in Phil's chat say "wdym not ur son"... what do you think???

• Ranboos gonna come online to see his house been snowed.

• DID HE FIND ANOTHER THING? LMAO RANBOO REALLY BECAME A MOLE. OTHER HALF CONFIRMED?

• Might be using Twitter more than notes because it's such a long time

• PRIME BELL

• Tubbo and rnaboo are still shooting stuff? Brub

• Uh oh "let's talk about the dream smp" sounds so onimous...

• It's not serious thank god

• Sdlgkekfnnsa he added that :) knowing what he doing

• The indirects? Uhoh

• I wonder if he's going to address the clashes of certain lore bits

• Hmm gonna lie down because sleepy

• Kinds sleeby but heart go Nyoom

• Hope someone posts fundys lore stuff because I watching jack

• Tired in beddddd

• "We haven't had a sympathetic villain yet" almost true! I'd say wilbur was semi-sympathetic

• Ajfjrkgjsndnv did bad show up just to tell him to join the egg

• I'm getting deja vu

• Also heheh melamine doofensmirtz

• Based on the liveblogs I'm seeing, fundy is trying to move into the arctic. Okay

• Fundys actually on the smp, sorry Jack but I follow one manifoldtwt person so I see all of jack stuff

• I open Phil's stream to see tubbo stream sniping. How cannon is tub o being here? Also when did rnabok and tubbo join phil

• "How is Michael doing"

• Ranboo and tubbo also being in the call while Phil is dunking on fundy for butcher army

• And tubbo killed him

• Tubbo just hit and run fundy

• I am out of bed I got interested in other stuff to quickly

• Go see Michael Phil please

• Ranboo is such an enabler

• Tubbo villain arc that's just his normal self let's go

• This is so cruel, Tubbo why

• 'Aa batteries?'

• Poor fundy flkvkthmdna

• Among us role play time again but now it's town of Salem

• Tubbo just said 'platonic marriage'

• "Your what?"

• Hes definitely adopted rigkrjgnenca

• "Cake time you little shit"

• "Theres not a thought behind those eyes"

• 'Unbiological'

• TUBBO?

• RJGJEKCNSN DOES FU DG JUST NOT GET THAT TECHBO HATES TUBBO

• Please don't free the child fundy

• RANBOO AND TUBBO JUST DESTROYED FUNDY

• AHAHAHA WILBUR DIDNT TURN OUT FINE

• Phil boutta snoop?

• Fundy just got murdered in michaels room

• Fundy don't threaten the helicopter parents

• Aite tubbo that was a joke too far

• PHIL PLEASE DONT

• PLEASE

• Phil has shclatt

• GHOST SQUEEKS. NO. NOT AGAIN.

• awww fundy being excited Phil said "runs in the family"

• wh. How bad was my delay on Phil's stream? Totally different point when I switch to fundy

• I just can't bring myself to do school work rn I can't explain it, probably because a lot of it is tests

• Chat o7-ing with no context for c!fundy

• Fundy always accidentally screening himself over damn

• I know foxes are considered sneaky but man calm down

• HUH? GLOWING WOOOL? FUDBY?

• Just woke up. Tanbkk live.

• Tubbo I think that is called fanfic. No tubbo it is. Tubbo you can't deny it that's still fanfic.

• Bless ranboo for trying to help stop the belief that fanfics are all nsfw

• "Is tubbo drunk" have yall never seen a tired/chaotic person

• Tubbo thought Thomas sanders created vine???

• Going thru that big dream merch post and just blocking so many of them, cuz I don't want those people ever looking at my stuff

• Also so many of them are just... saying straight up misinfo

• "*sigh* are we being overprotective?" "...protection 4"

• "Prot 4 parents"

• Techno just vibing on the server eyes emoji

• Golddigger tubbo returns

• Techno just staring out the window

• He left rkgkrkgjsja

• Yet? ... ramboo???

• Chat stop being weirdchamp :)

• I think I should just not read chat rn

• I saw a dono mention ramboo maybe having EDS, ehlers-danlos syndrome and like... I lowkey been wondering similar stuff?

• I had EDS btw

• My doctor said there's something similar to EDS but involves growing... a lot. *looks at ranboos 6'6 self*

• FUXK OFF HEATWAVSZ OS ON MY RADIO AGAIN. FUXK YOJ

• Why do I suddenly feel really sad about something? Uh oh

• "LORE?" Chat asks while puffy describes how her toilet broke

[silver-words-and-inky-secrets]

How much effort would the Piper need to prove to Violante he's not being a golddigger or mole for the Adderhead when he tells her he loves her?

Helping her to kill the Adder might be a start, I guess... A side from that, a lot. After all, she has every reason to doubt his intentions. I imagine they would go through the whole enemies-to-lovers-process with being mistrustful first, trying to fight the growing feelings, and then day by day the Piper has to prove that he can be better. That would be a long way and an ongoing effort. I imagine there would be some major set-back half-way through their arc - some bad decision, maybe some misunderstanding that makes it seem that the Piper was dishonest with her although he was not (maybe a plot to break them up? After all, if they teamed up, what a threat to the other villains!) Sorry, I love drama as long as it’s fictional^^

[thecomicsofsolitude]

Captain America Vol. 1 No. 390 (1991) Part of the "Superia Stratagem" story arc “This is no way to treat a lady I know--but lady, you're no lady!- CAPTAIN AMERICA” Published: August, 1991 Appearing in "When Women Wage War!" Featured Characters: * Captain America Supporting Characters: * Paladin * Asp * Black Mamba * Diamondback Antagonists: * Superia
- (First full appearance) * Femizons * Captain America Vol 1 389 Vapor -Captain America Vol 1 391 * Dragonfly * Chimera * Mindblast * Gypsy Moth * Ion * Snapdragon * Vertigo * Screaming Mimi * Impala * Dansen Macabre * Whiplash * Karisma * Bombshell * Steel Wind * Iron Maiden * Wrangler * Coachwhip * Titania * Battleaxe * Water Witch * Poundcakes * Quicksand * Golddigger * Nightshade * Gladiatrix * Bloodlust * Anaconda * Mysteria * Pink Pearl * Arclight * Whiteout * Captain America Vol 1 389]] Ice Princess |-Captain America Vol 1 391 * Yellowjacket * Frenzy #thecomicsofsolitude #comicsofsolitude #comicbooks #comicbook #comic #comics #marvelcomics #dccomics #actioncomics #marvel #marvelstudios #marvellegends #marveluniverse #stanlee #dc #dcuniverse #dcextendeduniverse #dcfans #marvelfans #actionfigures #manofsteel #themanofsteel #superman #captainamerica #love #cosplay #cosplayer #cosplayersofinstagram #superhero https://www.instagram.com/p/CR8EbEKs5pB/?utm_medium=tumblr

[allalrightagain]

SPN Liveblog notes

so it turns out I had to wait until midnight local time so I’m v tired and going to bed after this, but I’m gonna be posting a couple highlights from this super long post because I can. they’ll be tagged same as everything else

(actual notes under cut)

uh oh white suit of evil

well that’s a hell of a display of power

but pretending crowley was less than a problem was ok by the end? guess he wasn’t as much of a problem as they claimed

… lucifer’s still wearing a wedding ring? from Nick I guess or a pelligrino choice?

woah big fireball

so are there only like three demons left now?

so the shaddim are obvs gonna be a problem sooner or later

oooh they upgraded to a suite!!

😭😭😭😭Jack likes cartoons and burgers just like his dad but eats like dean😭😭😭😭

also that scooby doo foreshadowing

“so god is my grandfather and that’s good” have I read this exact sentence in a fanfic before??

awww this is adorable

I’m also astounded by his “crazy cas” smile because it’s the spitting image

… does that count as a traumatic event

lolol prophets are called to god situations

I forgot he lost his soul, but that’s a great plan

souless phophet drawn to the antichrist… hmmm

lol big scary guys dropping some teen off at a tattoo parlor and dictating the tattoo… not sketchy at all

that’s not gonna go well

oh good he’s a super healer. including tattoos.

actually, that makes me question cas’s old tattoo and logistics

oh noooo, he ran away cause he’s not wanted

so are we gonna get cas’s whole arc abbreviated into a single season

I”M SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT SAM-JACK SCENE I DONT EVEN HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY

Dean’s the old man in this scenario??? wtf I can’t even handle this

fuck well that’s unfortunate

also,,,, dean didn’t try to sleep with the pretty, blonde, mom-stand-in waitress/bartender with daddy issues she outright volunteered?

yeah I don’t trust him with power-golddigger donatello

also, if it’s working for souless donatello, I vote plopping him in front of like 48 hours of mr rogers

mmmm I’d stay away mary

well that’s unfortunate

consider– an everything’s happy instead of everyone’s sad au where it’s just infinite pairs of coparents fighting over custody of Jack

ok also the VERY first thing they should have done was gotten that boy a cellphone so he could always contact them

that’s like foster kid rule #2

god that was cool

ahh yep there’s the checkov’s gun

they’re pulling out john’s journal??

ooh we get a michael not in a young john vessel

holy swan song references

… idk if jack did that but cool trick if so

also they’re his friends 😭😭😭😭 which is like 85% on the way to family for the winchesters as long as he lives another eight eps without dying or being evil

Mary’s maybe a bit too close to that fight??

dean sure is drinking a lot– he’s either drinking, fighting for his life, or driving in every scene

IS JACK IN CAS’S ROOM???

awww he’s having an existential, suicidal crisis

I’m very emotionally compromised

[allspark]

It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like Transformers Unicron, G.I. Joe, My Little Pony, Ghostbusters, Marvel Action Black Panther, and much more! All coming your way for April 3rd!

TRANSFORMERS UNICRON TP

John Barber, Chris Ryall, David Rodriguez, Brandon Easton, Christos N. Gage, Magdalene Visaggio (A) Alex Milne, Sara Pitre-Durocher, Kei Zama, David Messina, Nelson Daniel, Juan Samu, Paolo Villanelli, Fico Ossio (A/CVR) Andrew Griffith

ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR MARCH RELEASE! Every IDW Transformers comic has led to this cataclysmic story! The culmination of IDW’s Transformers Universe! The end is nigh! Unicron, a planet-sized being that devours other worlds, has set its sights on Cybertron and all of its colonies-including Earth! Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, and their friends must unite every Cybertronian, Earthling, and ally they have to stand against this threat to all existence. But why is Unicron hell-bent on destroying Cybertron-what original sin did Optimus Prime’s ancestors commit to earn this wrath? It’s an all-out battle against extinction as the world-destroying, universe-shattering threat of Unicron is on its way.

GI JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO #260

Larry Hama (A/CVR A) Ron Joseph (CVR B) John Royle

“The Cobra’s Venom,” Part 5. Mad scientists, even madder robots, and a small, desperate team of Joes left alone to defeat them at any cost! The final chapter in the latest bombastic arc of living legend Larry Hama’s magnificent G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero run!

Fifth of five JOE/COBRA vehicle/gear-themed RI covers by Jamie Sullivan!

MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC TP VOL 16

Paul Allor, Ted Anderson, Jeremy Whitley, Thom Zahler (A) Toni Kuusisto, Agnes Garbowska (A/CVR) Andy Price

Advance solicited for April release! Things are getting a little crazier than normal in Ponyville! Pinkie Pie gains extraordinary powers after eating a magic apple, but will she use her new powers for good, or for fun? Meanwhile, the entire town is getting into the spooky spirit for Nightmare Nights! Then, Rainbow Dash decides the elder ponies of the retirement village could use some more excitement in their lives. So she invents EXTREME BINGO! What could go wrong? Collects issues #69-73.

AMBER BLAKE #1

Jade Lagardere (A/CVR A) Butch Guice

Amber Blake was only a child when she was recruited to the Cleverland Institute, a school for gifted children. But predators hide in the school’s administration, abusing the children they’re meant to protect, and, on the verge of exposing them, Amber finds herself fleeing for her life from the very man who recruited her. But she’s not dead yet-and she’s not the only one who wants to see Cleverland’s leaders burn.

ATOMIC ROBO AND THE DAWN OF A NEW ERA #4

Brian Clevinger (A/CVR A) Scott Wegener (CVR B) Valentina Pinto

Atomic Robo just opened Tesladyne Institute’s doors to the next generation of Action Scientists. Meanwhile, an old comrade has an urgent message about the Vampire Dimension: it’s bad. Bernie might be speaking with the real Queen of Hollow Earth, instead of a hallucination? Jury’s still out on that one. Oh, and y’know the subplot about Robo’s secret robot son? Well… it’s fine. Everything’s fine.

DANGER GIRL DANGEROUS VISIONS 3-D

J. Scott Campbell, Andy Hartnell (A/CVR) J. Scott Campbell

The first issue of J. Scott Campbell’s Danger Girl (plus the original preview story) are presented in glorious full color 3-D-or as we like to describe it… DANGERVISION! Plus, as an added bonus, we are showcasing an incredible gallery section making this a true 3-D Extravaganza!

Comes with your very own set of DANGEROUS 3-D glasses!

GHOSTBUSTERS: 35TH ANNIVERSARY: GHOSTBUSTERS

Erik Burnham (A/CVR) Dan Schoening

The 35th Anniversary of the Ghostbusters is upon us! Let’s celebrate with four spooktacular weekly comics featuring different Ghostbuster teams in all-new standalone adventures!

First out of the Firehouse are the original ‘busting team of Peter, Winston, Egon and Ray, who have seen a lot of things during their time as paranormal investigators, but the latest case might just turn history on its head! Could it be that they’ve found proof of… Atlantis? It’s a case full of saltwater and slime with the ORIGINAL GHOSTBUSTERS!

GIANTKILLERS

Bart Sears (A) Rick Leonardi, Matthew Dow Smith (A/CVR B) Meghan Hetrick (A/CVR A) Bart Sears

Arkon the Giantkiller is fated to protect Auoro, the One True Chosen, so that she may destroy the evil Lord Omin. She just has to survive long enough to do it! Bart Sears pens the story he has always wanted to tell, a tale of brutal sword-swinging action as Arkon seeks to rescue the infant Auoro from her captors. With art by the all-star team of Rick Leonardi (X-Men) and Matthew Dow Smith (X-Files), the issue also includes a short story with art by Meghan Hetrick (Red Thorn), and a prose story written and illustrated by Bart Sears. Only an oversized, prestige format could contain this much epic storytelling!

An exciting new one-shot printed in prestige format!

IMPOSSIBLE INC #5

J. M. DeMatteis (A/CVR A) Mike Cavallaro

Lost in an ocean of Infinite Nothingness, Number Horowitz has to wonder: Has the universe disappeared-or have I? It’s a question she has to answer quickly, because the lives of every living creature in Creation depend on it! Join Number and the Impossible Inc. crew for the cosmic conclusion to the mini-series!

LODGER #4

David Lapham, Maria Lapham (A/CVR A) David Lapham

The line between hunter and hunted gets blurred when the Lodger gives into temptation. And out on the open road, Ricky and Golddigger close in for the kill.

The first black & white book from Black Crown! A new story from comics legends David & Maria Lapham (Stray Bullets)! Letters column, behind-the-panels process pages, & more!

“LODGER is from the team that brought us Stray Bullets, so you know we’re in safe hands, hands that just need one more rinse under a faucet to get the blood off them. This is small-town noir at its gothic best. Bleed on…”-Ian Rankin, best-selling author of Inspector Rebus

MAGIC THE GATHERING CHANDRA #2

Vita Ayala (A/CVR A) Harvey Tolibao

After her latest defeat, Chandra feels broken as events of the past continue to haunt her, and a familiar foe seizes the opportunity to strike! Will Ajani’s heroic intervention be enough to help her overcome the threat and stop her from traveling farther down a self-destructive path?

Rising star writer Vita Ayala and powerhouse artist Harvey Tolibao continue to expand the bounds of the Multiverse in the first Magic: The Gathering® series in nearly five years!

STORY SPINS DIRECTLY OUT OF THE NEWEST CARD SET, OCTOBER’S GUILDS OF RAVNICA , AND ITS SEQUELS, JANUARY’S RAVNICA ALLEGIANCE AND THE UNNAMED SPRING 2019 SET!

Magic: The Gathering, its logo, Guilds of Ravnica, Ravnica Allegiance, and character names and distinctive likenesses are property of Wizards of the Coast LLC and are used with permission. ©2018 Wizards of the Coast LLC. All Rights Reserved

MARVEL ACTION BLACK PANTHER #1

Kyle Baker (CVR RI-A) Kyle Baker (A/CVR A) Juan Samu

Readers of all ages can get lost in the technologically advanced African nation of Wakanda as they follow the adventures of its monarch, the Black Panther! King T’Challa is responsible for defending his people-and the world-from any threats. And he gets plenty of help-and sass-from his genius sister Shuri. A Marvelous new era begins here!  A bold new era for Black Panther begins here! From the mind of multiple Eisner and Harvey award winner Kyle Baker!

NIGHT MOVES #4

V.J. Boyd, Justin Boyd (A) Clay McCormack (CVR A) Chris Burnham

A terrifying noir nightmare in the occult underworld of Las Vegas! Face to face with an ancient evil, Alexis searches for signs of her old partner inside of what is now the demon Ashmedai. Narrowly escaping defeat (at a heavy cost), Chris and Alexis grow closer, only to be confronted by true evil-and it’s not what they expected… From the mind of VJ Boyd, co-executive producer of S.W.A.T. and producer of Justified, comes a fantastic new noir-ish tale!

UNCLE SCROOGE #43

Vito Stabile, Carlo Panaro (A) Francesco Guerrini, Paolo Campinoti (CVR A) Marco Mazzarello

What happens when Uncle Scrooge gets his greedy hands on Donald Duck’s magical hammock? Nothing simple and easy, that’s for sure! While Donald just wants a well-earned nap, Uncle Scrooge has other ideas in mind… See the hilarious results in “The Helpful Hammock!”

YE TP

Guilherme Petreca (A/CVR) Guilherme Petreca

Ye is a curious young man, named after the only sound he knows how to make. His voice must have been stolen by the Colorless King, the source of all the world’s sorrows-terrifying, unrelenting, all-taking and never-giving. Now, Ye has no choice but the embark on a long voyage over land and sea, past grizzled pirates, a drunken clown, and more, to find the famous witch who can help him defeat the Colorless King. What he discovers may be a lesson for us all.

•   Advance solicited for January release! •   Young cartoonist Guilherme Petreca won Brazil’s prestigious HQ Mix Award for Best Artist due to the unforgettable imagery on every page of Ye, his first full-length graphic novel. •   In the tradition of The Little Prince, The Neverending Story, and A Wrinkle in Time, this graphic fable will leave young and old readers awestruck and eager to relive the journey.

  Join the IDW Hasbro Shared Universe related conversation here in our Comics Discussion and Reviews section and here for all other franchises, superheroes, or general comic book discussions! Not a member? Join our community by creating your own free account here! Or jump right into the live chat on our Discord server or our Facebook Group!

IDW Comics Shipping List for April 3rd! It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like