#gold nugget rings

[arielsoicyjewel]

Personalized & Creative Engagement Ring Designs for Couples

Engagement rings are classic representations of devotion and love. But in the modern world, couples are now looking for more innovative and customized solutions. This will help them to capture their individual love tales, going beyond conventional patterns.

The trend towards custom-made designs, where each element is infused with the couple’s personality, is replacing the days of mass-produced, standard rings. There is a perfect fit for every pair, whether they prefer the elegance of diamond fashion rings or the raw appeal of gold nugget rings. We’ll look at some creative engagement ring designs in this blog to help you choose a perfect symbol of your love.

1. The Charm of Rings Made of Gold Nuggets

Gold nugget rings are particularly popular with people who mostly value a rustic and vintage look. Since the nugget design differs from piece to piece, no two rings are alike, making each one unique. For couples who wish to make a statement and wear a piece of natural history on their finger, it’s a fantastic option. This style of ring gives a bold appearance for males and is sometimes combined with gemstones or diamonds to provide a little shine.

What Makes a Gold Nugget Ring the Best from others?

Their distinct and organic feel.

Ideal for people who are looking for a rustic or retro look.

For extra style, you can combine it with coloured stones or diamonds.

2. Blending Metals for a Modern Style

You can achieve a modern style by combining different metals. You can make a bold statement through it. Combining several metals, such as rose gold, yellow gold, and white gold, can produce a very dramatic contrast that will give the ring more visual appeal.

White and yellow gold can be used to create a 14k gold men’s ring that looks very elegant and contemporary. While on the other hand, if you choose a ring with a white gold band and a gold nugget design might give off a rough yet elegant appearance.

By mixing metals it shows a symbolic decision that symbolizes the joining of two different people.

Common Combinations of Mixed Metals:

A timeless yet striking contrast is white and yellow gold.

Rose and yellow gold: Gives off a cosy, romantic vibe.

Gold and Platinum: Offers a smooth finish along with durability.

3. Diamond Fashion Rings: A perfect blend of the classic and the modern

Couples can add a variety of design features to their diamond fashion rings, such as pave bands, halo settings, mixed metals, and unusual forms. The combination of contemporary craftsmanship and the sparkle of diamonds creates a ring that is both classic and fashionable.

Innovative Diamond Fashion Ring Designs:

Halo Setting: The brilliance of the centre stone can be increased by encircling it with lesser diamonds.

Pave Band: To add even more dazzle to your look, add a band set with small diamonds.

Unique Shapes: For a unique style, you can also think about marquise or pear cuts.

4. Customisation: Including a Little Something Different

One of the best ways to make your engagement ring a significant symbol of your romance is to personalize it. You can give the ring a sentimental value by planning to engrave initials on it, or any memorable date, or you can also add a brief remark on the inside of the band. To make the ring even more distinctive, couples nowadays are also including birthstones or other meaningful gems in the design.

A birthstone could be used as an accent stone on a diamond fashion ring. This gives the ring a splash of color and a personal touch. You might choose an engraved word on a traditional 14k gold men’s ring for a more understated look.

Ideas for Personalisation:

Engraving: You can include a significant quotation, date, or initials on it.

Birthstones: Use birthstones in addition to diamonds.

Custom Settings: Pick distinctive locations or band layouts that complement your beautiful love story.

5. Choosing the Ideal Ring Together

Selecting a customized engagement ring as a couple is one of the most enjoyable aspects of the process. Couples are increasingly following this trend as they want to make sure the ring captures their shared history and personal preferences. The experience is very unforgettable and it also facilitates the candid dialogue and group decision-making.

Think about things like every day wear, personal style, and lifestyle while choosing a ring. Men’s gold rings, particularly 14k gold ones, are durable enough for active lifestyles, but a diamond fashion ring can be customized for a more glitzy appearance. Whether you like the sophistication of a diamond-studded band or the rough texture of a gold nugget ring, there is a design that will perfectly capture your love.

Final Thoughts

The endeavour of choosing the ideal engagement ring is a reflection of your special bond. There is a design that conveys your narrative, whether you like the rugged Gold Nugget Rings, the sophisticated Diamond Fashion Rings, or the sturdy 14k gold men’s rings. The love that an engagement ring represents is very much more valuable than its cost. You can design your ring according to your taste. 

At So Icy Jewelry we have a different variety of engagement rings available. You can also choose by experimenting with personalized and creative alternatives, like engravings, mixed metals, and distinctive textures. So, give it some thought and pick a ring that will serve as a constant reminder of your love.

The Orginal Source Link: https://www.soicyjewelry.com/blog/personalized-creative-engagement-ring-designs-for-couples/

[wjdexclusives]

The Timeless Allure of Nugget Rings: Style Tips and Historical Insights

https://www.wjdexclusives.com/blog/the-timeless-allure-of-nugget-rings-style-tips-and-historical-insights/

The Timeless Allure of Nugget Rings: Style Tips and Historical Insights

Nugget rings have been a staple in jewelry collections for decades, known for their bold, textured designs that stand out in any ensemble. But what exactly makes nugget rings so special? In this blog post, we'll delve into the history of nugget rings, offer styling tips, and highlight some of the best pieces available at WJD Exclusives.

A Brief History of Nugget Rings

Nugget rings originated from the desire to showcase the raw, natural beauty of gold and other precious metals. The term "nugget" refers to the irregular, textured surface that resembles natural gold nuggets found in rivers and streams. This design became popular in the 1970s, coinciding with a trend towards more natural and unrefined aesthetics in fashion and jewelry.

Why Choose a Nugget Ring?

Unique Texture: The hallmark of a nugget ring is its unique texture, which adds a rugged yet sophisticated look to your jewelry collection. Each nugget ring has a distinct pattern, making it a truly one-of-a-kind piece.

Versatility: Nugget rings can be dressed up or down, making them perfect for both everyday wear and special occasions. Pair a nugget ring with casual outfits for a touch of elegance or with formal wear to add a statement piece.

Durability: The chunky and solid nature of nugget rings makes them durable and long-lasting, perfect for those who want a piece that can withstand daily wear.

Styling Your Nugget Ring

When it comes to styling nugget rings, the possibilities are endless. Here are a few tips to help you make the most of this versatile accessory:

Mix and Match: Nugget rings pair beautifully with other types of rings, such as moissanite rings or wedding bands. The contrast between the smooth surfaces of other rings and the textured nugget design creates a visually appealing look.

Complement with Other Jewelry: Pair your nugget ring with other textured pieces, such as gold earrings or diamond earrings, to create a cohesive, bold look.

Consider the Occasion: While nugget rings are versatile, they are particularly well-suited for casual or semi-formal settings. For formal occasions, consider complementing your nugget ring with a sophisticated Rolex watch or a stylish Cartier watch.

Taking Care of Your Nugget Ring

To keep your nugget ring looking its best, regular cleaning and proper storage are essential. For tips on how to maintain your jewelry, check out our jewelry care and jewelry storage guides.

Conclusion

Nugget rings are a timeless addition to any jewelry collection, offering a unique blend of rugged texture and refined style. Whether you're new to nugget rings or looking to expand your collection, WJD Exclusives has a wide selection to choose from. Explore our collection of nugget rings today and find the perfect piece to complement your style.

For more jewelry inspiration and tips, visit our toe rings collection or explore our nose rings for a touch of flair. And don't forget to check out our selection of watches and accessories to complete your look!

[chasingrainbowsforever]

~ Silver and Gold ~

[grannybeards]

Live out your funky jewellery dreams with this antique gold ring featuring a genuine gold nugget. This ring would look fantastic on either men or women as a statement piece, especially as a pinky ring. I'd honestly be keeping it for myself if I didn't have the world's tiniest hands. You'll be hard pushed to find anything remotely similar to this within this price range xx

[pandapecha]

[evilminji]

Gold can be exchanged for goods and services (o.o )

Pariah's Keep probably has a shit ton of Precious Goods from various places.

Danny is become King?

If Danny becomes King... then the Zone will somewhat obey him. The Crown and Ring could EASILY tell him where the next natural portal is, where it opens up, and for how long. How many there are. Could probably make a few.

Probably WAS supposed to be making them. Consciously. But, well, Coma(tm).

Would probably count as Kingly Duty to filter and collect. Clean Ecto goes out for souls that remain, a Gateway home for those that wish to LEAVE, so forth and so on.

Effectively, being The Grim Reaper. You don't CAUSE Death. You just guide the way home. If folks so choose.

And that's neat! Horrifying, but neat! And Danny can TOTALLY see how it would eventually drive him completely breakfast cereal fruity nuggets! LUCKILY, he's got a vaguely bro's/Mentor thing going with the ghost who has ALL OF POSSIBLE TIME flowing through HIS head! So Danny should be Gucci!

The headaches suck though.

But WHAT... to do with all this Gold and valuable Space Goods? Most of these aren't even recognized currency on earth! Like the Shells. You could buy a mansion with one of those... on the right planet. On Earth? Pretty paperweight. Hmmmm >.>

Wait.

WAIT!

<o> *points to top of head!* CROWN! It can? Predict and make PORTALS!

Portals lead any WHERE and any WHEN!

:O

Gold... can be exchanged for goods and services. He remembers, holding a gold brick, about to eat so, SO much pizza.

But WAIT! I hear you wondering! Surely, you mean? Within his past? The history and region of space he knows, right? Ha ha :) Nope! Cowards.

Danny is on the alien otter's planet, trading those sweet, sweet Shells for some snacks no human could eat and a shawl for his sister! He's hiding, badly, behind a food stall in the Martian market place. Hoping future hero J'onn Johnes doesn't notice him.

Lying to the Space Cops, bout where his untraceable Space Money came from, on an alien trading satellite. The Green Lantern's not buying it. Oh noooo >.> sudden Fright Knight. Looming Menacingly by the loading doooocks. Everyone's upset! Definitely not related to him! Better go check on that! :) *gets the heck out of dodge* (my king. Please stop using me as a distraction.) (No promises)

But! It's all fun and games? Until your human friends get sick. Like... REALLY sick.

And then you suddenly remember time and space mean nothing to you. One 15 minute flight that way, two doors, a quick flight of stairs, and a literal child's play place slide? You could be in the 32nd century.

That disease is AT BEST, an unpleasant afternoon, there.

Here, your friend could die.

You trade a student two Spanish dubloons. They have no idea what they are. Just like the look of them and know they're real metal. They walk into the pharmacy for you. Don't question your "social experiment paper" lie.

You're back in less then an hour.

The screaming argument about ethics and mortality lasts hours.

She still takes the medicine. Gets better. Won't talk to you for months. Because why does HER life matter more? Why bend the rules for HER? And you can't bring yourself to say what pulses as Truth from both Crown and Ring.

You could because she didn't Matter. Time... would not notice, nor change. She was in no way pivotal to the flow of history, must one more ant beneath its unrelenting march. Mattering only because those who love her CARE. Because one or two little things might change for the better.

But it takes the shine off of it, a little.

Being able to go to the FUTURE. Watch movies and see aliens and humans alike in the crowd. Read books and dance to songs from people who won't be born for hundreds of years. Eat snacks from the farthest reaches of the cosmos. Or the early BCs!

And that's BEFORE other time travelers clock him as That Shopping Guy. The one who keeps popping up... buying things. For what? Unknown. Probably dinner. Half the time it's food. Trinkets. Once it was a really, REALLY nice goat. (His aunt was THRILLED.)

It probably drives Bart crazy. Because NO ONE knows anything about the guy? Everyone just universally goes "oooh yeah! HIM! Yeah, he sure does Exsist(tm). Very... present and exsistant." Like that's not CRAZY! He has so many question. So Many! What is he even BUYING!? Why? Is there an order? Or is he winging it?!

*pulls out list* he needs ANSWERS!

@hypewinter @hdgnj @ailithnight

[passivenovember]

thinking real hard about Billy and Steve finding each other years after they've settled into themselves.

Billy's gone to therapy and he lives in a little house on the shoreline. Steve makes it to California. Doesn't have the six nuggets, yet. He's working insane hours at a job that isn't very lucrative, but he never had to sell his soul to his old man--

So. Point is. They're happy. Content, almost.

And then they find each other.

--

Steve's burning a pot of water when the phone rings.

It's like a knife through the air. A thorn in his side, pain and annoyance ramping up to an 11 as he yanks the receiver from the wall. "Yeah, now's not a great time," He says, because the goddamn smoke alarm's gonna start wailing any second now, and Steve's neighbor is real trigger-happy when it comes to alerting the fire department. "Look, I'll call you--"

"--Why answer the phone?"

Steve would know Billy's voice anywhere, the rough and tumble drag of someone who used to live fast and hard but doesn't, anymore. "I," Steve says, "I don't--"

"--It's like. Why answer the phone if it's not a good time to talk?"

"I don't like being impolite."

Billy hums, smoke and lightning on the end of the line. "So, you weren't waiting for me to call?"

"No," Steve says. But he was. Has been since high school and all the weird, boring, disheartening years that followed until Billy appeared at the dive bar on Saturday. Like a vision. An angel.

"Damn. And here I was, taking a full 72 hours to figure out what I should say," Billy tells him.

Steve can hear a smile.

Aches to taste it, but-- "That's kinda lame, Hargrove."

"So what?"

"So. You're kinda lame, I guess."

Billy laughs at him, then, high and bright. It shoots confetti into Steve's kitchen, the curling tendrils nearly catching on fire as Steve comes back to himself. He pulls the pan of water and dumps it into the sink, killing the flame on the stove.

"Yeah, I'm a disaster. Maxine tells me all the time," Billy says, "It's just. How weird, y'know?"

"What? You?"

"No, you," Billy tells him, chuckling again. "Fell outta the sky, or something. Into a shitty dive bar."

"So did you--"

"--Fell outta my dreams."

"So did you," Steve says, and his stomach twists. Tumbles. Washing-machine guts still soiled with the bloody red spots of a decade-long crush.

"Huh. You're kinda forward, Harrington."

Steve shrugs, face burning. "Long as I'm not as lame as you are."

"Dude, I didn't say you weren't lame."

"Sure, you didn't."

Billy's next laugh Steve feels in his gut, heat pooling behind the thatch of curly down at his pelvis. "Still such a bitch, pretty boy."

"I'm just being honest. We aren't getting any younger, I'm not really interested in playing it cool, anymore."

Something rustles as Billy shifts his weight, "You were cool, once?"

"Ha-ha."

"I don't wanna play it cool, either," Billy tells him, as serious as a heart attack, "Look, can I be honest? You mind?"

Steve nods and then remembers Billy can't see him. "Go ahead."

"I can't stop thinking about you."

Steve peers through the kitchen window, trying to imagine Billy somewhere on the edge of town with sunlight in his hair. Smoking in bed, naked gold until the duvet pulls him under hips first.

"Harrington, I need to see you again."

"Need is kind of dramatic."

"Maybe I'm feeling dramatic."

"Thought this was honesty hour, Hargrove?"

"It is. Honestly? I wanna kiss you," Billy tells him. "At midnight. In the pouring rain because I was too chicken-shit to do it after our first date."

Steve focuses on not swallowing his tongue. Damn near fails. "Was that a date?"

"No, it was bigger. It was the stars aligning, the start of--"

"--God, you are feeling dramatic."

"When can I see you?"

"I dunno," Steve says, fiddling with the lip of the sink, "When are we expecting rain?"

"Not sure."

Steve can hear his smile. Aches to sink into the softness. "I need a window to commit."

"Tonight. I'll make it rain."

Steve snorts, light as air. "You're crazy."

"I've had ten years to plan for this, Steve."

"Alright, lemme--" Steve pads over to the refrigerator, peering at his Kittens and Firefighters calendar. May is covered in birthdays, vacations, late nights at work, and roll-over plans from April, all hacked into the cardstock in striking red.

Steve groans and flips to June. "--Can you still make it rain in a month?"

"A month," Billy demands, "Fuck. You're hot shit but I didn't think--"

"--I have a full-time job. And friends who want to hang out when I'm not at work, but since I use all my energy at work I cancel on them, and things get moved around and--"

"--You can't make an exception for the guy who wants to eat you out?"

The pages of the calendar flutter, May settling heavy in the room. Steve swallows and his throat clicks. "Uh. My friends--"

"--Aren't gonna eat you out."

"They would. If I asked them to, at least one of them would."

"I'm not really loving that idea, pretty boy," Billy says, teasing. "What about over a lunch break?"

"You want to eat my ass over a lunch break?" Steve snorts, "I'm not a hooker."

"What's wrong with--"

"--I'm not," Steve says, "And even if I was, I'm not cheap. You couldn't afford the hour, and we'd need more than that, anyway."

"What about a sleep over?"

"A sleepover?" Steve says, turning from the refrigerator. "Like, where I come over to your house and stay until the morning?"

"Or I come over to yours, yeah."

"But--"

"Actually, let's do yours. Maxine's place is getting fumigated, so she and Lucas are staying in the guest house."

"You have a guest house?" Steve doesn't remember mention of that during their first date, but. He was distracted.

Billy laughs, "Bet I could afford your hour, pretty boy."

"I thought," Steve says, twirling the phone cord around his hand, "In high school, I remember you telling Becky Gordes that you don't do sleepovers."

"I'm gay."

"Okay, but what about Eddie Munson? The whole school thought you were fucking him, did he ever sleep--"

"--No, my dad would've killed both of us," Billy tells him, and. Something in his voice makes Steve's blood run cold. Makes him believe it.

So he shifts gears, "But. Don't you have work tomorrow?"

"Who said anything about a sleepover tonight," Billy says. Steve imagines the look on his face. Shit-eating grin bright and sharp and beautiful as always. "Unless you want me to come over tonight?"

"I never said that."

"I can work wherever I want. I don't have to go in at all, if I don't want to."

Steve pads over to his junk drawer, digging around for a red pen. "What does Saturday look like for you?" He bites the cap off, holding it like a straw in the curl of his tongue.

Billy laughs, "I thought you said you weren't free until next month?"

Steve chews on the cap for a moment, pen shaking over the cardstock surface of his calendar. He imagines Billy like he was that night. Different but exactly the same. Charming and soft in a way that only comes from the toil of regeneration. Years and years shedding skin.

He'd been funny and smart. Quick wittted.

Sweet. Like cotton fuckin' candy.

Steve remembers not wanting the date to end, not believing that the universe would give him Billy with no strings attached and laying awake that night, hoping Billy would call, and that they'd get their chance, and now--

"Shit. What the fuck am I doing?" Steve asks, but it comes out garbled and messy and wrong. Comes out sounding like, she whale the food ham ding dong.

Billy laughs at him, again, anyway. "What?"

Steve spits the pen cap onto the counter. "You really want to eat me out tonight?"

"Damn--"

"--Because. I was too fucking stupid to realize what was happening between us in high school. Or. What was happening to me when I saw you in high school, and this is important to me," Steve says in a rush. Fuck being subtle, right? "We're not getting any younger. And I haven't slept with anyone for a long time, much less someone who I've wanted for as long as I can remember, so if you're going to come over here and fuck me--"

"Or talk," Billy says gently. "We could talk more. Get to know each other."

Steve listens to the static on the other end of the line.

"I want to get to know you again, Steve," Billy says.

And Steve cracks. Like a bowl in the microwave, curdling under pressure and heat. "Alright, just. Do you have a pen and paper?"

"For what?"

"My address," Steve says, leaning against the sink, "I want to get to know you, too."

"Tonight," Billy asks, digging around for something.

"Tonight," Steve says. "What the hell."

"Great."

"You've got something to write with?"

"Yeah," Billy says, sounding like he's barely holding it together. "Yeah, just. Whenever you're ready."

--

That night, after, just as Steve falls asleep in Billy's arms--

It rains.

[kame-writes]

Some Hazbin Hotel Head Canons I have:

Pt.2

Alastor was both a moonshiner and bootlegger when he was alive. He would have been in his prime during Prohibition, and the hoof prints on his shoes were actually common among bootleggers. They were used to trick police that might try to track them by their footprints.

Those shoes are why he was mistaken by a hunter for a deer. The hunter was tracking the hoof prints.

Mimzys club was a speakeasy, and she was fully aware of Alastor being a serial killer. She used to provide alibis for him when he was alive, which is a reason he covers for and protects her now in their afterlife.

Angel and Husk probably crossed paths in life, but are completely unaware of it. Husk was born and raised in Las Vegas, and the mob was very heavily involved with running most of the casinos. Angel being a mafia son, would have definitely been in Vegas a fair amount before his death.

Sir Pentious used to be seen as a very powerful and dangerous Overlord. Then technology and electronics were introduced, making his steampunk innovation style outdated and people started to see him as a joke. He tried to keep up with the times, but it very bad at it and doesn't understand modern things.

The reason Vox has so many aquatic things and likes sharks, is thematic. The envy ring is aquatic and Vox is a very jealous and possessive person.

Valentino uses his saliva and smoke to make people more pliable and willing to agree with him, this also includes Vox. This is partly how they got together, because Valentino saw Vox as a way to further himself and grow his own power.

Nifftys Soul isn't actually owned by Alastor. She sticks with him because of mutual benefit for the both of them. He's also such a bad boy that she's drawn to being around him and helping him with his schemes.

Husk lost his soul because Alastor made him play an honest game, while Husk was a notorious card shark. The little gold token on Husk's hat is the dealers chip from their game as a reminder.

Husk was not a nice overlord. His redemption is going to rely on him admitting how bad he was in the past and accepting himself as a changed person.

Charlie is the only one who still doesn't realise Alastor is a cannibal. Which is why she was surprised he had a friend in Cannibal Town.

Lucifer knew full well who Alastor was, he was just being an ass. He correctly assumed that implying Alastor was a nobody or not important was the biggest insult he could throw at him.

Angel Dust is always broke. This is partly because before coming to the hotel he was renting an apartment from Valentino with ridiculous rent, and he's still working/paying off his debt.

Before meeting Valentino, Angel was more mafia with his brother. They had a very turbulent relationship, since they weren't very close when they were alive due to Arakniss being more Conservative and serious like their father. They have barely spoken since Angel became a famous porn star, and Angel just assumes that Niss now hates him for being 'an embaressment'.

Part of the reason Angel let Valentino take his soul and lead him to where he is now, is because Val was the only/first person to really encourage Angel's more feminine side and sexuality, and find it attractive. He fell hard for the love bombing, and then had a very rude awakening once Valentino no longer needed to play nice.

Fat nuggets is very special to Angel. He was never allowed pets, and despite him being one of Vals love bombing presents, it reminds him of how happy he was before he learnt the truth about why Val was so loving to him.

[monstrousvoice]

Bedtime

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Relationship: Husk X Reader

AN: Inspired by this post, I wanted to write Husk being sleepy and needing to be picked up from the hotel's bar. Fluffy and sweet! Reader’s gender isnt specified but you do use a couple of sappy, schmaltzy nicknames for Husk, fair warning

Tags: Fluff, References to Alcohol, References to Alcohol Addiction, Sappy Romantic Nicknames, Other Cast Members Mentioned, If I missed any please let me know

Summary: The Hazbin Hotel is pretty peaceful at night.

Read on AO3!

With a huff of frustration you sat up in bed, scrubbing your hands over your face. Your hands dropped to your lap as your eyes wandered the empty bedroom. The lamp light was still on, casting an amber glow over everything from the empty booze bottles still on the shelves you haven't thrown out, to the mounds of dirty clothes neither you nor your boyfriend had bothered to pick up. The clock read midnight. You look to your side, his half of the bed still empty. Still cold.

That was why you were having such trouble sleeping, you knew. You needed your nightly cuddles if you were ever going to fall asleep.

Sighing and stretching your shoulders, you stood up, making yourself look somewhat decent before you left your room. Despite the late hour you knew better than to walk through the hallways without pants on.

It was…surreal to walk through the hotel at night. When you had lived in the center of the Ring, there was always noise, always chaos. There were times you were so scared of being a target for a robbery (or something worse) that you couldn't sleep at all, only closing your eyes for a few minutes before jolting awake at the sound of a car crash and gunfire outside your window.

…But here there was nothing. Night was almost peaceful. If you really strained your hearing or went outside the distant chaos would be noticeable, but walking through red and gold hallways, the only real noise came from your fellow residents.

Sometimes you would come across Nifty scurrying around, dusting and bug hunting and muttering to herself. Sometimes Angel would get back from work in a good mood because Valentino had been in a good mood, and you could hear his favorite music playing from his room as he sang along, spinning Fat Nuggets around and around.

Even when you suspected he was sleeping, the soft sound of jazz and radio static never stopped playing from Alastor's room. You were grateful he was on one of the top floors and far from your room. You don't think your beau would be able to sleep at all knowing his Master was right down the hall.

Sir Pentious could make quite a racket when he was in a tinkering mood, but he always spent his time doing so in the hotel’s workshop and, to give him credit, he tried working on quieter projects during the night after Charlie asked him to keep it down once. Charlie herself, and Vaggie, were both pretty quiet too. The only time you could think of them making too much noise at night was one instance. They had decided to have date night at the hotel watching movies, which led to a tickle fight that had Charlie screeching in joy and sent the rest of you on red alert that she was under attack.

Both her and Vaggie had apologized out of breath and with red cheeks.

You didn't come across anyone tonight as you made your way to the lobby. The tv was off, throw blankets neatly folded on the couch. Some bits of metal and electronics were left on the coffee table, you assumed it was a project Sir Pentious had been working on before calling it a night. 

You kept walking, your destination being the bar.

It was neat and tidy as always…except for the unconscious bartender laying across it. You smiled softly as you crept closer, and the sound of soft snoring reached your ears. Husk was dead asleep on his side of the bar, his back slowly rising and falling with even breaths, wings limp and touching the floor. His head was laying on his folded arms, hands still gripping a clean empty glass and a rag. 

You hadn't mentioned it to him yet, but you were proud of him. Lately he had been opening up more to the others in the hotel, making actual friends, you dared to call them. And with that change came a change in Husk. He was smiling more, even laughing, and drinking less. It made your heart warm and gooey that he was learning to let his walls down around others besides you.

He was happier.

He wasn't gonna be happy in the morning with a sore neck and pins and needles in his legs for sleeping standing up, however.

You snuck up behind the counter, stepping over his limp tail to get closer to his warmth. With delicate precision you pulled the empty glass and rag out from his claws and set them aside. You slowly wrapped your arms around him next, mindful of his sensitive wings, carding your fingers through the fur covering his arms and shoulders. You leaned close to his flicking ear and whispered.

“Husk? It's time to get up baby…you need to get to bed.” A snort and a twitch of whiskers was your only response. “C'mon, wake up handsome~” you cooed again.

A grunt, and suddenly a golden eye was fluttering open looking around but not really taking anything in. Husk coughed, slowly pulling himself upright and smacking his lips together with a frown. You could guess his last drink was making itself known to his taste buds.

“Fuckin-Wh…where…?” He looked groggy, eyes fuzzy with wide pupils, and the fur on his cheek he had been laying on was clumped together in the cutest case of bed head you've ever seen. (Who were you kidding, every morning waking up next to him was the cutest case of bed head ever-) He gave a loud groan as he stood up, leaning forward hard onto the countertop as his legs and feet woke back up. 

“Shiiit…fuckin feet, goddam-...” He muttered and cursed some more, and you wrapped your arms around his middle to help hold him up. Even in his dazed state he tried to return the affection you were giving him, one of his hands moving to cover yours where it gripped him. His tail swished and curled around your legs as he woke up.

“Did you have one too many with Angel again sweetheart? I had asked him to let me know the next time you fell asleep here…” Your brows furrowed in concern. You couldn't really be mad at Angel if he forgot though. When he and Husk drank, they got sloshed.

“N-no…not Angel.” Husk muttered. His baritone voice was deeper than usual, sleep making it sound gravely and…well, husky. He dragged the hand not holding yours down his face, scrubbing and wrinkling his muzzle to wake up more. His mouth opened wide in a yawn, one that granted you a chance to see the rows of fangs he had hidden away in their full glory. You noticed tears pricking the corner of his eyes as the yawn ended and he licked his dry lips.

“...Was Alastor. Wanted some drinks, and when he finally left, I had his mess to clean up.” Your heart ached in sympathy. You know how much a night spent with just Alastor rubbed your man the wrong way. And the worst part was…

You couldn't do anything.

But you could do this for him. You pressed a kiss to his cheek before nuzzling into his neck, taking a deep inhale of his smell. You spoke again, voice muffled by his fur, but with the way his ear cocked towards you, you knew he could understand.

“-’M sorry baby. Com's t’ bed? It's com’y…” He chuckled at your muffled words, turning in your arms to hug you back. Face to face, he was able to nuzzle his own face into your neck this time. Husk took a deep breath and held it for a moment, relishing your scent before breathing hot air against you. It tickled.

“Yeah…yeah ‘m ready for bed…” He mumbled. Despite this you both stood there a moment longer. His arms were so firm and strong where they rested on your hips, and you loved the way his shoulders and back were so easy for you to hold onto. You simply didn't want to move yet. He smelled like booze, of course, but underneath that was the smell of his cheap cologne and his natural scent, and you let it envelope you entirely. Sleepy or not, you could stand here with him for eternity…

But, you figured his feet were probably killing him at this point, and you'd rather you both be comfortable during cuddle time. So, with a sigh you pulled away, but not before giving his other cheek a kiss to match the earlier one. Husk simply smiled at you, eyes hooded and soft with love.

As you both turned to make your way up the stairs to your shared bedroom, neither of you let go of the other. His arm stayed firmly on your hip, keeping you pulled as close to him as possible without tripping you both. You couldn't complain, you were doing the same thing, holding him to your side to support his tired body. His wings still drooped with their weight, the tips of his feathers touching the floor as you walked.

It was a quick walk back to your shared room, kisses and ‘I love you’s being whispered as you went. You didn't even care about the taste of stale booze in his mouth when you kissed him anymore. You had come to love it in a weird, pavlovian sort of way.

When you finally got back, you shut the door behind you with a soft ‘click’, and Husk stayed glued to your side as you did so. Already his eyes were slipping closed again, and the sight had you cooing in adoration.

“You are so adorable you know that? Such a handsome face, looking so sleepy…” He pouted at your words, but the blush on his face was obvious despite his fur. 

“Shut that cute mouth up before I shut it myself-” He grumbled.

“Oh? And how would you shut it, hmm? I'm oh-so curious!” You teased him further, and giggled loudly when his response was to bury his face into your chest to hide away.

“-’m too tired for this-” He whined, actually whined, and you relented.

“Okay, okay sweetheart. I'm done, let's go to bed, yeah?” At his tired nod you stumbled your way to the bed, almost tripping on a pile of clothes in the way. When you finally reached the edge of the mattress, Husk finally let you go. He all but dragged himself across the blankets before flopping down on his side, only taking enough time to make sure his wings were tucked away safely and wouldn't get crushed. You stood still, smiling down at him.

“Not even gonna take off your pants big boy?” Your response was a tired huff. Husk laid with his face buried in a pillow, your pillow to be exact, and watched you with one sleepy eye. He held up his arms and made a grabbing motion towards you.

“C’mere doll…wanna hold you…” And if that sight didn't break your heart, nothing could.

“Hold on, let me get you situated.” Husk groaned in protest but didn't stop you as you crawled over the bed and to him. With practiced movements you undid his suspenders and popped open his pants, wiggling his clothes off him. In nothing left but his boxers, you tossed your blanket over him and finally settled down at his side.

Immediately he snuggled into you, pulling himself as close as possible to your body heat and curling himself around you like a leech. His legs wrapped around your hips and thighs, arms around your back as he buried his face into your chest.

He was asleep in moments.

Unable to stop smiling, you brushed your fingers through his fur and settled down yourself, finally feeling the sweet embrace of sleep now that your cuddly man was where he belonged.

[abilouwrites]

BARZAL BABY FEVER

Mat BARZAL 😻🤠

“Oh lindy loulou” I grin sweetly at the three month old as I hold her into my arms, smothering the sweet baby in kisses, “oh ain’t you jus the cutest lil gumdrop to ever be”

I used to hate when my southern accent would shine through but I’ve grown to not mind it as much, “yes you are, yes you are!” I rock her slowly shuffling back and fourth, Noah looks at me and I know he wants his a baby back but I’m not ready to give her up just yet.

“Y/n please, Linds needs her nap” He begs quietly as I continue playing with his daughter, tickling her tummy and watching as she grins and laughs a little, “Mat tell your girlfriend to give me my baby back”

He doesn’t respond, sitting and staring as I let her suckle on my finger, “Noah, Shh” I whisper gently as I make my way back to the couch, once she starts to fuss I stand back up and keep rocking her, “she’ll nap, don’t you worry”

“Just support her head” He nervously goes to stand but I turn away from him, “y/n please”

“I have little siblings, don’t worry” I wave him off, bouncing her up so she’s got her head on my shoulder.

Mat comes over to me and stands behind me gently kissing her forehead and nose, “can I hold her”

I frown but reluctantly let him hold Lindy, even though she’s not my baby, “she smells so good” I whine out as Mat holds the small infant.

My heart swells as I watch him cradle the little girl, maybe because I’m ovulating or maybe because I saw the ring in the back of his dresser, “she’s just the sweetest lil gooseberry”

Noah nods and I watch Sarah slowly creep outside of the bedroom, “god I’m so sorry I slept through it all” she apologizes rubbing her eyes, “can I get you anythin? Water? Tea, maybe coffee” she asks

“No we’re alright, you sleep well?” I ask, patting down the couch for her to come sit

“Yeah, I needed that. If you two want to babysit”

“Yes” Mat and I say without hesitation

Noah and his wife look at eachother with an excitement and love I adore.

“Next Saturday?”

Lindy and I are laying on the couch of Mat and I’s apartment, she’s playing with the little gold shine on my earrings. Mat left for an hour to hit the gym but he promised to bring back lunch.

“Hey cuties” Mat fawns as he walks back into the apartment. Setting a bag of food down onto the island table, “when’s her nap?” He asks quietly as Lindy rests her head on my chest and sprawls out on me.

“In a few minutes, but I wanna get her sleepy before I put her down” I tell him. Mat nods slowly picking her up, whispering softly as he gently places her down in the little crib Noah lent us.

I get up and make my way to the food mat bought, “good workout?” I ask as he quickly devours a large fry and a few of my chicken nuggets.

“Ya” he whispers out, “so uh this is really out of the blue.. do you think kids are in the cards for us?”

“I think so, at least I would really.. really love to have my own baby. We can’t keep Lindy forever” I confess, “I’m sure once they’re back to a regular sleeping schedule they’ll miss her”

“With the way Noah’s blowing up my phone lately I think they already miss her”

[ladykailitha]

I am always on the hunt for my next story as I like to have four or five stories going on at the same (being able to have multiple stories going so that I always have something to post really helps with the anxiety like you wouldn't believe.)

And I think I have found my next one. With everyone doing Olympic stories I thought that I too, would throw my hat in the ring.

Back when I first started writing for Stranger Things (like September of '22 way back) I had this story I was posting on AO3 anonymously. The fear of writing for a fandom I hadn't seen the source material of left me terrified (I still worry about from time to time) had my anxiety going a billion miles an hour.

It was about Steve deciding to coach Eddie on getting on the swim team his final senior year so that teachers would be more lenient on his grades. And in return Eddie would help with Steve's trauma of having Barb die in his pool.

I ended up abandoning the work because the characters all wrong and I just started to hate it. It only had something like 34 kudos and 121 views after six chapters. It was not good.

So I am cannibalizing the plot for my next story.

Bit of an age gap. Eddie 18 and Steve is 24 when they meet but they don't get together until after the Olympics making them 20 and 26 respectively.

Steve was going to be Michael Phelps in world where he doesn't exist (shhhh) He had come in fifth his first Olympics as a fourteen year old. His next Olympics had him winning several medals, so many that the phrases "world record" and "foremost swimmer of his time" were tossed around.

But all that changed when he had an accident in his first match in his third Olympics where the bounding board slipped out from under him as he went to dive into the water, hitting his head and nearly drowning.

Leaving him with migraines and a fear of large bodies of water. So now he teaches swimming to little kids in kiddie pools and for the older ones, he uses an endless pool. But he steers clear of the main pool and if he has to use it, he has his assistant coach Robin get in the water for him. It isn't ideal but it works.

Enter Eddie Munson. Eddie who used to swim in middle school but after his mom died and his dad went to jail, he got sent to live with his uncle, Wayne. But because Wayne was working long hours at the plant Eddie was forced to give it up in high school.

Hopper caught him dealing weed and pulled to have Eddie do community service at the rec center, mopping floors, gather towels for the laundry, refilling soap dispensers.

Eddie didn't mind because it meant that he had free access to the pool any time he wanted.

One day, Steve comes in early because he's getting a new group of nuggets for his swim class when he sees Eddie doing a near flawless butterfly stroke.

They talk and Steve finds out that Eddie just didn't have the same opportunities Steve did otherwise he probably would have been in Steve's last Olympics. The next Olympics are two years away and Steve wants to train Eddie for them.

Eddie turns him down at first until on the last day of his community service and he realizes he'll lose access to the pool. So he decides to let Steve coach him because he figures he'll at least get two free years of pool time and then after he doesn't make it, Steve and him can go their separate ways.

Only not only does Eddie get into the Olympics he starts get gold in his events.

Someone plants weed on his to discredit him when they find out he used to deal with hopes of getting him disqualified but it backfires and the culprit is exposed as the one that sabotaged Steve four years ago.

Then after Eddie wins his fifth gold in his last event, Steve and Eddie kiss about it.

[eirinstiva]

Wedding ring

I'm very busy with my current job, so I finally have some time to read the third chapter of The Valley of Fear titled "The Tragedy of Birlstone".

“They've taken his wedding ring!” he gasped. “What!” “Yes, indeed. Master always wore his plain gold wedding ring on the little finger of his left hand. That ring with the rough nugget on it was above it, and the twisted snake ring on the third finger. There's the nugget and there's the snake, but the wedding ring is gone.”

A nugget ring is designed to mimic the look of a raw gold nugget – hence the name. They are traditionally a men’s piece, because of the large size and rough, rocky look of the ring.

Probably the wedding ring had a D-profile. That type of wedding band is known here in my country as "English style"

[lookinghalfacorpse]

/dsmp /rp

crow gifts. a series of random deliveries made by c!philza's chat, all given to c!dream.

1 gold nugget. the only item on this list that's arguably useful. dream was used to having full netherite and ignoring small amenities like gold nuggets, but his armor was gone now. he couldn't help but recall the desperate (yet optimistic) hoarding of a player on a new server. he didn't know what a 'new server' was, exactly. he thought it might be nice. he thought it might be lonely.

a coin-sized scrap of obsidian. he smelled like it, he supposed.

a button. a big one, like one you might see on a winter jacket. dream agonized over where it might've come from. he searched philza's closet, and then techno's, and he made a mental note to look at people's jackets as he encountered them around the server. he tried to look at foolish's cloak. his heart was beating too fast.

an earring. one of puffy's, if he had to guess.

a metal... something. he didn't know the word for it. it was common in redstone machinery-- he's seen them on sam's desk before.

a nail. undoubtedly taken from a barn door somewhere.

a fishing hook. could've come from anywhere.

a smooth, grey rock. dream ran his fingers along it. it was smoothed by water, no doubt-- he wondered what shoreline the crow might've taken it from. beaches feel empty, sometimes.

a sharp, broken piece of metal. it was blindingly shiny. like with every other gift, dream tried to guess where it might've come from. a broken sword, maybe. a broken axe, a broken pair of shears, a broken hammer. techno broke tools on occasion. he pricked his finger on the edge and accused the crow of trying to assault him.

another scrap of obsidian. he asked the crows to stop giving him those.

a piece of paper threaded through a metal ring. this was his favorite. it looked like the bird put some effort into it. he didn't know why the paper needed to be in the ring, but art is like that sometimes. up for interpretation, or whatever. he brought it with him to the lab, and punz didn't ask any questions.

a pen. he remembered it. it was one of sam's best, used on the prison blueprints many, many months ago. it smelled like him, he supposed.

[tinydeskwriter]

Safe Harbor in a Storm (Dirty Trick. Part II)

A/n: I tried🤷🏻‍♀️

word count: 1473

2023 Grammy’s Award Night

The cameras flashes were blinding. Tonight especially, it seemed brighter than usual.

The frantic photographers screaming her name and asking for a new pose. She gave them her million dollars smile and posed to the camera, relaxing a little feeling her husband’s hand in her small back, drawing circles with his finger against the black lace of her naked dress. His hands eventually found hers against her growing belly—something that happens often since she announced her pregnancy the year before, it had been almost impossible to keep it a secret with her protective, affectionate husband always putting his hands on her, caressing ‘their’ bump— camera flashes fire more aggressively.     

The award season was their last ‘work related commitments’ before their baby birth in late may, they planned to welcome their lil nugget in London, close to his family and their closest friends—after a month long babymoon in Italy, full hours under the sun by the beach, delicious pastries and pastas— she would have three months of recover and then they would be on the road again—with their newborn—, going from one country to another.

Y/n loved how dedicated her husband was to her and their growing little family. 

Her heart felt ready to burst with love at the sight of the handsome Brit she had married a year and a half ago. 

Andrew was truly her dream man. All she ever wished a husband would be. It was like she had dreamed her perfect man he be became true.

They met through mutual friends a month after her painful break up with Harry. She went out with friends to celebrate that her ex had just take the rest of his stuff from her house. It had been hard, even with her ultimatum, Harry went forward with what Jeff though better, and for some reason the man had convinced himself that he would be able to sweet talk his way out of losing her. He failed to understand that Y/n Y/l/n was no man’s pretty little fool, she was no weakling and would never band to his wills, he wanted the PR stunt? Fine, she wouldn’t be the fool waiting for him to come home after he spent the day making out with his geriatric director.

As she prophetically old him: in a month, she’ll have moved on. 

Harry showed up to pick the rest of his shit as she was getting ready for a night out, he bagged and nearly cried, but she was unmovable. 

After she only wanted a strong drink and to forget, and that was the night she met Andrew… properly. They had met before over the years in award shows and mutual friends house parties, but never had been properly introduced. That night they talked… for hours. And by the end of the night Andrew had asked her out. She had wanted to say ‘no’, but something in his honest brown eyes made her give him her number. 

Their first date happened in LA, she arrived one and a half hours late,  he was patiently—and anxiously—waiting for her in a booth, and when he smiled at her and ignored her tardiness, that’s when she new that he was something special.

He was patient and gentle and kind, and less than a year after their first date they tied the knot in a small ceremony at Islington Town Hall, North London.

She had loved Harry, but Andrew had been game-changer.

He made an afford. He made time. He went out of his way to visit her on set in Australia and pretended that it was nothing ‘I’ve been wanting to try the waves around here’ he told her with a smile as he delivered a bouquet of sunflowers and her favorite chocolates that were found only in a particular little store in LA.

She proposed to him the same night Harry had drunken called her, and she realized that all the butterflies she had once felt hearing his voice were now death, but Andrew? His gentle soft gaze and raspy sleepy voice was able to wake a whole zoo in her stomach. She proposed in bed, no ring, nothing, they’re half sleeping, and he answer with ‘yes, sure’.

The very next day he gave her the yellow gold with sustainable diamonds engagement ring he had bought weeks before. They spent two months living together in Sydney, before moving in together and New York, before agreeing that London would be the best place to grow a family in the future.

They got married in the Spring in London, only two witnesses and no paparazzi in sight—they had a jewish ceremony two days later—. The newly wedded A-list couple shocked the world, no one knew they are a couple to begin with.

Fans shipped them. Haters criticized the fifteen years age gap. Media emphasized how odd a couple they made: Glam Hollywood Siren, Y/n Y/l/n and dorky, adorable, Andrew Garfield.

Harry called again after finding out, he was clearly drunk and probably on something else, ‘You’re really that delusional that you thought that I would wait around for you?’she had stated with refinements of cruelty when he finished his rambling. He asked her if she had married ‘that guy’—Andrew was always that guy to Harry— to spite him, to which she honestly told him ‘My directional debut was to spite you. You’re the last thing on my mind when I married Andrew, you killed the butterflies, and he woke the zoo…Andrew is in his own category, his own brand of masculinity, he’s far too amazing to be compared, and I love him, I love him, and he loves me back, he puts me first, he takes me into consideration in his decisions, he never hurt me, and I never doubt him.’

You were a hurricane, but he’s the safe harbor during a storm I always craved for. She never tells him. 

That was the last time they talked, and it has been almost two and a half years since she last saw him.

“You’re the most gorgeous women in this event, and I am the luckiest men.”Andrew said in her ear, making her blush and smile. 

“No need to sweet talk me, luv, we’re married already, and I am carrying your glorious spawn.” She joked, making him throw his head back and laugh.

She smiled bigger and turned her head to look at him. She was truly a lucky woman.

Y/n turned her head after hearing the screams in the red carpet. 

Her smile falter a little, their eyes met for a second—of course he would be here, he was nominated to seven awards—, for a moment she can swear she sees sadness and regret in his green eyes as he takes her in. She smiles brighter—a fake smile, but no one apart from the two men in the red carpet knows— and greets him from a distance, like they were never more than old acquaintances, like they never were engaged, like they never loved each other.

He made his choice. She made hers.

Life moves on.

She left him in her past. Harry Styles was a sentence in the book of her life. 

Andrew is her present and her future.

Harry was jus the guy that wrote songs about her but were never man enough to go against his management and claim her public.

She looks ahead as Andrew and her are guided through the carpet by a assistent.

[theworldbrewery]

50 Items of Druid Grove Dungeon Dressing

Seeking items of dungeon dressing for a druid's grove? Seek no more! These 50 items are suitable for any lonesome woodland settlement, esoteric natural sanctuary, or tranquil shaman's hut.

Mortar and pestle

Box of salt

Woven net

Stone painted to resemble a turtle

Satchel of unidentified berries

Basket

Flint knife

Tanned animal hide

Leather work gloves

Beehive

No Trespassers sign

Field medicine kit

Tray of drying herbs

Rain barrel

Wind chimes

Mushrooms growing on a fallen log

Block of incense

Campfire ring

Preserved animal parts

Jars of moonshine

Fireflies

Shed snakeskin

Smoking pipe

Trowel

Gold nuggets

Salves and ointments

Hammock

Polished, forked branch

Bag of tubers

Stone shrine or monument

Plant shears

Bearskin rug

Thistle, ivy, or daisy crown

Stack of firewood

Water wheel

Hawk perch

Bundle of dried nettles

Bat house

Worn leather boots

Compost pile

Wheelbarrow

Pan flute

Sundial

Distillation gear

Ceremonial robes

Box of pigments

Oil flask

Mistletoe branch

Bedroll

A bag of stone marbles

[cyberphuck]

ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PART ONE My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy, but they don’t want to actually have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them (and you)! When we last left Fitzy-Fitz, it was a really fucking long time ago, sorry, I stopped going to church and learned to chainsmoke (and this book is LONG, I mean it’s LOOOOOOONG, so I kept avoiding getting started on Abridging it, lmao). You can brush up on the frankly insane amount of different characters here at the Royal Assassin Cast of Characters post, or find the links to the rest of the Farseer Trilogy Abridged series here at this link here.

- Fitz awakens one fine October morning in a bed at Jhaampe hospital, where he's been recovering from being poisoned and poisoned and bludgeoned and kicked and drowned. At first he was having eighty seizures a day, but now that it's down to only twenty-five seizures a day, he and Burrich figure it's high time for the two of them to skedaddle before they get snowed in.

  Then, exactly like that scene in Attack on Titan where Eren reaches for a spoon and accidentally turns into a Titan, Fitz drops a spoon and accidentally turns into a seizure. It's a lot less cool. He wakes up hours later back in the same damn hospital bed with Jonqui the King's Sister and now healer sitting beside him.

  "This sucks," he whines.

  "Time heals all wounds, Pull-Out Fail," Jonqui says sagely.

  "Shut the fuck up. I'm fifteen and obviously know a lot more than you about healing, and I've decided I'm never going to get better."

  Burrich strides healthily into the room with a swanky new skunk stripe in his hair where his skull was recently cracked open. "What-ho, Lil Accident, are you ready to go back to Buckkeep?"

  "No. Everybody's gonna make fun of me. You go back without me."

  "So long as you wear that collar," Burrich says solemnly, "I must follow you."

  Fitz touches the black collar with the word DADDY on it in gold letters. "The way you followed my father?"

  "Yes."

  "Was it like, a sex thing?"

  Burrich, who has enough hidden piercings to set off a metal detector at twenty paces, asks, "Are we going back to Buckkeep or what? I'm getting kind of bored sitting here watching you do the Harlem Shake."

  "Also, I heard that Molly's candle shop was foreclosed on and she had to go live with relatives in a town that's about to be raided by Vikings," The Fool says from under the bed.

  "Gosh, I wish I could talk to King Shrewd or the Fool or find out what's happening to Molly," Fitz sighs, then sits up as the room fills with the wavy lines and harp glissando of a dream sequence.

  "Wake up, King Shrewd," the Fool says. He's sitting on a chair, not under the bed or in a hay bale for once, and Fitz finds it extremely disturbing.

  "Fool? What are you doing here?"

  "Oh, King Shrewd and not Fitz, I have to be here because you're sick and old," the Fool fools. "Here, let me fluff your pillows and feed you soup."

  "This is so weird," Shrewd-Fitz says. "I feel like... oh, the Skill line is ringing. What? Vikings are viking Siltbay so late in the fall?"

  "You know, it's creepy when you talk to yourself like that," the Fool mutters.

  But Shitz (Shrewd-Fitz) is already on a Skill video call, watching the Red-Ship Raiders pulling up onto the coast. Vikings run through the town, viking everything in sight. The raiders are wading through blood up to their knees, people are running around headless and on fire, it's awful. The raiders aren't even stealing anything-- they're just wrecking stuff, which anyone who's been to a Raiders game can attest to (go Cowboys).

  "Fool," Shitz says. "You can see the future, right?"

  "This is a weird time to reveal that particular nugget of information, but sure. Let's see... ah, yes. I see a bard who can't fucking read the room trying to find a rhyme for 'dismembered child.' That is not something Jaydee made up, it's a real line from the book."

  "Thank you, Fool, that's extremely fucked up," Shitz says. "Oh wait, who's this on the video call... It's Molly! Oh SHIT, it's Molly and Vikings are going to vike her!"

  But Molly wasn't called Molly Nosebleed as a kid because she's a trembling little violet. A Viking tries to vike her and she stabs him to death, whirls around and shouts "WHO WANTS SOME, MOTHERFUCKERS?!"

  Then a house falls on her.

  "Oh god, oh fuck," Shitz says, panicking. "Fool, use your future vision and tell me if Molly's okay!"

  "A bunch of women died in a bunch of horrible ways," the Fool says. "Do you want me to list them?"

  "No," Shitz says, and so the Fool doesn't spend two pages describing the graphic sexual assault, murder, and maiming of a bunch of townsfolk. Shitz sits back in his bed. "Run off and let Verity know Siltbay is being viked."

  Ever loyal, the Fool cartwheels down the stairs. Then Shitz sighs and says, "Man, being old sucks."

  "Yes it does, so quit your fucking whining about your little seizures and come home," Shrewd says, and ends the Skill call.

  The next morning, Fitz-Fitz packs up his stuff and heads out with Burrich and Hands to make the long boring trip back to Buckkeep.

The return to Buckkeep sucks especially hard because they have to take the 99 instead of the I-5 like last time, and Fitz is getting carsick. Along the way they keep having to stay in incredibly sketch Super 8s, which wouldn't be that bad (free soap and free weird smells!) but Burrich and Hands overhear someone standing out in the hallway talking loudly on their phone about how much King Shrewd fucking sucks.

  "Yeah he keeps raising taxes to 'defend our country' or whatever but Vikings are still viking the beach towns as much as they want," had said the Buckboi in the hallway. "You know who rules, though, Prince Regal!"

  "What towns did Buckboi say were viked?" Fitz asks.

  "A town no one cares about," Hands answers solemnly, "and the one where Molly had a house fall on her."

  After that incident, Burrich decides that they're gonna make the rest of the trip using surface streets and driving through people's yards. "If Regal finds out you're out here, he'll send someone to kill you," Burrich explains. "Verity's definitely not gonna protect you."

  "Is that because he consistently sees me as a tool first and a family member and human being second?"

  "Look," Hands interrupts. "I see Buckkeep-shaped lights in the distance." They ride up to the gates, which are guarded by a kid who was born a thousand years too early to be the squeaky-voiced teen working at the drive-thru. “Halt,” he squeaks. “Who the fuck are you?“

  Burrich scoffs. ”Who the fuck are YOU?“

  ”I asked you first!“

  ”I asked you sec—“

  ”All right, all right, who's holding up the line?“ The last book had a rich and exhausting cast of random extras murmuring in the background, but this one used all of their budget on talking CGI wolves, so they had to fire most of them and give almost all of their lines to Blade, The Guard Captain. His job is to appear at important moments and say things like 'hear, hear!' and 'how big WAS she?' “Holy shit, it's Burrich! Twitter said you and Chivalry's Post Nut Regret were dead!”

  “It's called X now,” Fitz says, emerging dramatically from the shadows.

  “Oh.” Blade says, while four of the other guards die of secondhand embarrassment. “H-hi, Chivalry's Pos... I mean... Fitz. You uh. Did you have a nice trip? Hey, you... did something with your hair, it looks... it looks good!”

  “Prince Regal was going around telling everyone I was dead, wasn't he,” Fitz says flatly.

  “Sometimes I can still hear his voice,“ Regal sighs from somewhere in the castle.

  ”What? No. What?? No! What?! No!“ Blade laughs as six more guards thud to the ground. ”No, of course not! It was just, you know, like, you know. YOU know. You know. I didn't really believe you were dead, I did retweet the link Regal posted but I commented with 'big if true,' so it wasn't really...”

  Fitz smiles. “Ho ho ho, Captain, don't worry your sweet little tits about it. Everyone falls victim to misinformation from time to time, and I accept the apology I assume you were about to provide me. Do carry about your business.”

  Halfway up to the stables, Burrich pulls Fitz aside. “Listen, Lil Accident, we're not at Grandma's house anymore,” he hisses. “You can't talk to people like you matter or Regal's gonna get his panties in a knot about it.”

  “And then he'll choke me,” Fitz agrees.

  “What?”

  “With his knotted up panties.“

  ”I'm also still alive,“ Hands offers after a long silence. ”Fitz, you're too weak and pathetic to wax your own horse, let me do it.“

  ”But...“

  ”Come on, Fitz, let Hands, my new favorite child, take care of the important work.“ Burrich takes Fitz's arm. ”Now go on up to the castle, that collar is making everybody question their sexuality.“

  ”What's a sexuality?“ Fitz asks, just before he's shoved into the castle, screen door banging behind him.

  Inside, Fitz looks around and notices that the place looks cleaner than it had before he'd left on the world's worst road trip. All the beer cans and ash trays have been cleaned up, someone's taken down the band posters and put up tasteful watercolors of succulents, and the 'NICE COCK' that had been scrawled above the toilet has been replaced with 'live laugh love.'

  ”Wrow,“ muses Fitz as he passes a sign on Verity's door that reads 'IF THE WARSHIP'S A-ROCKIN', DON'T COME A-KNOCKIN'. ”I'm kinda gonna miss the crusty sock smell. Good thing my room still reeks like teenaged boy.“