#going to put him in situations in my google docs | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

littlegrapejuice · 3 months ago

Text

A Side Of Your Number | FC43

Pairing: Franco Colapinto x Reader

Summary: You work as a waitress at the restaurant where the grid is having their 2024 drivers' dinner, during which you catch the attention of a rookie.

Author's Note: y'all can't imagine how much i love this one like i was so inspired when i saw the pics of the drivers' dinner that i immediately ran to my f1 google docs🤭 i hope y'all enjoy, this is my 1st time writing for franco!!

F1 MASTERLIST🏎

“Good evening and welcome!” You exclaimed as you smiled at the drivers entering the room.

Everyone walked past you with a smile and went to get seated. The last one of the lot was Lewis Hamilton, who had organised the dinner.

“Hey, thanks for having us.” Lewis put his hand on your shoulder with a grateful look in his eyes.

“No problem, sir.”

“How many times have I told you to stop that?” Lewis sighed as he shook his head. “I’ve known you for years, and I have to remind you of that every time I see you.”

“Usually I do it just to annoy you,” you explained with a teasing smile. “Tonight however, it’s my job to be polite and professional so you don’t really have a choice. It’s the restaurant’s policy.”

“Fine. But don’t abuse the title please.”

“Of course,” you replied with a nod. “Sir.” You almost laughed as Lewis’s lips twitched. “Okay, sorry. I’ll just let you join the others then I’ll come give y’all the menus.”

Lewis did as you said and walked to the table where everyone was already sitting, before taking a seat with his current teammate George on his right while his future teammate Charles was on his left.

True to your words, you were bringing a menu for everyone a couple minutes later.

“I’ll let you make your choices and come back soon”, you told them before going back to the counter to get your notepad and pen.

As the drivers were deciding what to get, the atmosphere was light-hearted and cheerful. Everyone was exchanging their doubts about what to eat tonight, while others were giving advice on the food they were already familiar with. Having eaten there several times in the past – hence why he was friendly with you, Lewis was able to share his knowledge with the people around him. While George and Carlos were listening to his every word, Charles and Pierre were debating about how to approach the recent drama that had been occurring. On the opposite side of the table, another world champion had captured his friends’ attention. Franco, ever the fanboy, was nodding at everything Max was saying while Lando and Oscar had a similar goal as the French speakers on the other side.

As it had been deliberate to have Max and George sitting at opposite ends, the majority of drivers were hoping to get some new comments on the situation without being too obvious. The two protagonists of this feud were honestly aware of that, but didn’t let it show on their respective faces and decided on having a peaceful night.

When you saw that most of them had put their menu down and heard the chatter getting a bit louder, you took that as your cue to get everyone’s order. You felt lucky that some drinks and meals had been chosen several times, meaning that you didn’t have to write too many things. Your way of organising your notes was pretty simple: next to each item, you were just writing the number of the drivers as you knew them all by heart. Soon enough, you were bringing everyone their drinks after you had sent the food orders to the kitchen. Even though almost all the grid was there, you didn’t have any issue in navigating around the huge table that was accommodating seventeen drivers. Starting from the furthest side away from the counter, you made your way up to the other side of the table. Everyone was being really nice to you and thankful for your service, which made Lewis smile as he was glad that your work was being appreciated.

Almost done, you now only had four drinks left to bring to Max, Lando, Oscar, and Franco. Although you were a big Mclaren fan – more of the drivers than the team nowadays, you managed to remain professional. Lewis knew about your preference, but never took it the wrong way because you had once told him that you became a Mclaren fan when he was still with them. Therefore, he had no right to judge you for playing favourites when he was the original reason for that. Moreover, he knew that you were supporting him as an individual driver, whatever team he was on.

You had to admit that you were also nervous to serve Max as the Dutch was really intimidating. However, the smile he gave you when you set down his drink was the most genuine you had ever seen and all your worries went away in less than a second. Finally, you gave his drink to Franco. You didn’t have a strong opinion on him yet. Sure he was cute and had a certain charm to him from what you had seen in interviews, but you still had a hard time judging his racing as he hadn’t been in Formula One for long and had probably been pulled from Formula Two way too early. And despite the points he had scored during his first races, he had crashed several times recently so you’d need to see him do a full season one day in order to rank him as a driver and not only as a person. Safe to say, you were quite neutral to face him compared to the others. Still, you offered him your kindest smile when you put down the glass on the table.

“And this is for you, enjoy!” Despite using your customer service bubbly personality, you were truly happy to do your job tonight and no one could deny it.

Turns out that someone else was now also very happy that you were doing this job. See, as you barely had time to remove your hand from the drink you had set down, someone else’s was grabbing it. You didn’t really register the physical touch as you honestly didn’t mind – it didn’t happen that often, but the other person was surprisingly perturbed. So while you were waiting for them to remove their hand from yours, it seemed that they hadn’t even realised it. Franco, who was the one with his hand around the glass and around your hand, was looking up at you. He blinked a couple times and opened his mouth to speak before following your gaze that was focused on the drink.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Franco apologised as he immediately retracted his hand, letting you put yours back to your side.

“No problem, don’t worry!” You smiled at the young driver before taking a look around the table. “I’ll be back with the first dishes soon guys, enjoy your drinks in the meanwhile!”

Everyone thanked you before they began clinking their glasses together, and once again the chatter got louder. The drivers were comparing drink choices and their tastes, as they shared souvenirs of past dinners. One driver, though, was a bit more silent than others. Franco was currently nodding along to whatever story Yuki was telling about one of his trips, and just quietly sipped his drink. Easy to say that he wasn’t going to remember anything as it seemed that his mind was occupied with something else – or rather someone else. His eyes kept drifting back to you, back facing the drivers as you were organising some shelves behind the counter. If one wasn’t really paying to where Franco’s gaze was directed, they could’ve just thought him overwhelmed from the setting. That was what Esteban had assumed.

“Hey man,” he called out to catch Franco’s attention. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm, yeah, yeah…” Franco mindlessly replied. “All good, don’t worry.”

Esteban didn’t have much time to wonder about whether to drop the subject or not due to Franco’s lack of convincing, that someone else had picked up on the short conversation.

“Franco, mate, everything alright?” Lando questioned, keeping a low voice as to not alert the whole table.

Now realising that he was worrying the others and catching too much attention, Franco sat up before repeating his previous words:

“I’m good, yeah. Sorry, I got a little bit distracted there. Just need to eat and I’ll be energised again, no worries!”

“I see,” Lando replied. “I get you, you’re young and still growing! You’re absolutely not distracted because you got a crush on our waitress.”

“Exactly,” Franco agreed before he processed the last sentence. “Wait– what did you say?”

“Lando said that you definitely need food while you’re still growing,” Oscar repeated. “Even though he’s barely a couple centimetres taller than you.”

“I meant growing as in growing up”, Lando retorted.

“Well, you’re not that much older than him anyways.” Oscar shrugged before going back to his conversation with Liam and Yuki who were sitting on his right.

While Max was quick to replace Oscar in teasing Lando, Franco was experiencing an entire life crisis regarding the conversation that had just happened. Did he imagine Lando’s words? Did no one else hear that? He wondered as he looked around: Esteban appeared to have stopped caring as he was talking with Nico about Haas, and the other drivers sitting across Franco didn’t seem to have paid any attention to him as they all deemed him fine. Franco truly thought he had gone crazy – he probably had. First, he loses all ability to speak because a pretty girl is serving him. And now, he can’t even differentiate his imagination from reality? He really wasn’t acting like himself. Franco was usually the one to flirt and make people nervous, never the opposite – except that one time when Oscar said he was funny in his interviews and that he needed to learn Spanish. He had to fix the situation, no more getting flustered because of eye contact with you.

Safe to say: it was easier said than done, because it was happening again.

As you started to bring everyone’s food, Franco couldn’t help his gaze following your every move. He had to think of something to make you nervous, not him! And now that he was remembering the moment from ten minutes ago, he realised that you hadn’t even done anything special for him to act like that. You were just doing your job and were as nice as the next person, so why was Franco already smitten from a thirty second interaction? He sighed as he tried to find a way to reverse the roles, which was a difficult task for him and proved impossible when you were once again in front of him.

“There you go, Franco!”

Your smile didn’t fully reach your eyes, but Franco could tell it was sincere; and how he was loving it! And did his name ever sound as good as when you were the one to say it? Was he the only one whom you had addressed by their first name? He wouldn’t be able to tell, Franco had kinda muted everything around him until you had reached him. Realising he hadn’t even replied after you had set down his plate, he quickly tried to thank you before you would be leaving the table as you had just given Oscar his food.

“Excuse me!” He called, albeit loudly which made him cringe that he would catch the other drivers’ attention, and waited for you to turn to him. When you did so and looked at him, he talked again. “Just forgot to thank you for the food, sorry.”

“Oh, that's no problem. Don’t worry about it, enjoy!”

“Thanks, again.”

Oh God, why was he so nervous to speak to you? Franco wanted to facepalm at how badly he had handled the situation. You would never be able to take him seriously after that, would you? Not wanting to keep embarrassing himself, Franco decided to start eating before someone would call him out on his actions. However, it didn’t take long as he felt someone nudging his leg from under the table. Franco looked up and his eyes met Liam’s.

“So,” Liam began. “I forgot to thank you for the food, sorry!” The blonde laughed at his own imitation of Franco, which amused the other drivers that had watched the interaction between you and the Argentinian.

“Oh my God…” Franco sighed and put his head in his hands. It was over for him, everyone would tease him and he would have to find a job in another racing category to be left alone.

“I don’t blame you,” Lando said. “She’s nice and she has a sweet smile. Is she your type?”

“She doesn’t need to be his type for him to like her”, Nico added. He turned slightly to be able to face Franco before continuing. “You should shoot your shot as you kids say nowadays, can’t hurt to try.”

“Agreed,” Yuki nodded. “We’ll make you look good in front of her, don’t worry.”

The other drivers confirmed and Franco thought it would be over for now, before someone kept the conversation going:

“Who are we making look good for whom?” Alex asked as he hadn’t been listening, having been talking with his future teammate Carlos.

“Franco”, Esteban replied. “He likes the waitress.”

“Hey!” Franco exclaimed. “Can we not air my business like that? I’m pretty sure we could be discussing other gossip.”

“But you’re not denying it,” Valtteri pointed out.

To that, Franco had nothing to reply for a good minute.

“I don’t like her, I barely know her.”

“Then get to know her,” Liam said as if it was obvious before he took a piece of food to eat.

“The kid is right,” Valtteri agreed.

“Thank you!” Liam was grateful to be supported.

“Lewis,” Valtteri eventually called to his friend who was a couple seats away. “What can you tell us about her?”

“Hmm?” The eight seven-times world champion looked up from his plate, fork in his mouth. He was confused about what he was gonna get involved in as he had spent the last half hour talking with Charles and George, the three of them having been in their own little bubble. He swallowed his food before wiping his mouth. “What’d I miss?”

“The waitress, what can you tell us about her?” Valtteri repeated.

“Why?” Lewis raised an eyebrow, confused as to why you were the topic of the table.

“I think little Franco over here wants to ask her out”, Carlos replied. He hadn’t given his opinion on the discussion yet, happy to just be a spectator and listen.

“I never said tha–” Franco began to argue.

“You want to date her?” Lewis asked, the serious tone obvious in his voice. At that, everyone around the table fell silent.

“I don’t know!” Franco desperately answered, stressed by the fact that Lewis was now getting involved.

“So you don’t like her?” Lewis rested his chin on his hands, to better focus on and assess Franco’s reactions. “She’s not to your liking? Not kind enough perhaps? Not hardworking enough?”

“I–” Franco was at a loss for words. He was truly about to shit himself and disappear from the face of the earth. Right now, he was almost glad to not have a seat next year because he didn’t think he would be able to handle facing the drivers anymore after this whole chaos. “She seems really nice, yeah.”

“She is,” Lewis simply stated.

“And yeah, she’s pretty.” His gaze landed once again on you. Fortunately for him, you were far enough from the table to not hear anything, but he was still able to look at your profile while you were chatting with some of the cooks. To his luck – really? – you had decided right at this moment to turn back to quickly check on how the drivers’ dinner was going and your eyes met his for a split second. Just a smile from you was enough to make Franco flustered again, making him drop the eye contact immediately. You went back to your conversation, completely unaware of what was happening barely ten metres away from you. When Franco realised that everyone was looking at him, waiting for him to keep going, he gulped. “I guess I wouldn’t mind being friends with her.”

“Just friends?”

“That’d be the main goal indeed”. Franco decided to be more confident in himself, and even though he was facing his idol, he had to be tough. “But becoming more could eventually be a great bonus.”

As Lewis kept asking questions about Franco’s intentions for another minute, which the young driver didn’t hesitate in answering, the rest of the drivers were still silent. They were all absolutely invested in the conversation unfolding before them, their heads turning left and right as if they were watching a tennis match. If the drama between George and Max had been the most interesting thing at the beginning of the night, it was now the least of their worries. Finally, the exchange between Lewis and Franco was coming to an end – almost to everyone’s disappointment as the entertainment would stop.

“Fine”, Lewis said as he let his hands drop back to his side and got more relaxed in his seat.

“Fine?” Franco repeated.

“I’ll give you a chance,” he explained. ‘Can’t say yet that she’ll do the same, but I guess you wouldn’t be too bad for her if anything were to happen.”

“Thanks…” Franco mumbled as he scratched his neck. He was still embarrassed that he had to have this conversation about you with the Sir Lewis Hamilton. At least, it was safe to shoot his shot now.

Not expecting it, you suddenly heard the whole table erupt in cheers and got startled as they were probably the loudest clients you’d ever heard in the restaurant. Looking at the cooks in confusion, you then let out a laugh at the drivers’ happiness. You had no idea what was happening, but you were glad that they were having fun. You knew from Lewis that the relations between drivers weren’t always rainbows and sunshines, but it warmed your heart to see them all getting along for one evening.

Debating if it was your cue to go up to the table when the cheers got quieter, you got a confirmation when Lewis called out your name. You excused yourself to the cooks – telling them to maybe expect orders soon enough – and walked up to the drivers with the same smile you had harboured since the beginning of the evening. At first, you had stopped at the table end that had been closest to you, but Lewis actually made you sign to join him at the other end where he was.

“How’re you doing?” He asked you when you were beside him.

“Good, good. What about you, guys? I heard a pretty nice celebration there.”

“We are indeed celebrating”, Lewis confirmed as he stood up next to you. “Toast with us?”

“I’m working Lewis”, you replied with a sigh. You had abandoned your smile and opted for a straight face that you hoped would remind your friend of your actual duties here.

“Just one drink?” He almost pleaded. “We’ll be very disappointed if you refuse.”

You reluctantly agreed – to which Lewis grinned – and quickly got yourself a drink before you came back to stand by the Brit. Thinking that you could treat yourself, you had taken a beer that you were definitely planning on charging Lewis for.

“So, what are we toasting to?” You wondered as you swirled your drink.

“To us: the 2024 grid. To the new drivers, and to the drivers that have been there for years and will still be there next year. But most importantly…” Lewis took his time glancing at his former partner at Mercedes, before his glance drifted to the others that had limited time left in Formula One. “We toast to the ones that won’t be here with us anymore starting next season. We’ll remember them to have been amongst the twenty best drivers in the world, and we’ll remember their meaningful careers. To us!” Lewis repeated, which was echoed by everyone else around the table.

To say you got chills was an understatement. Lewis’s speech was short, but enough for everyone listening to understand the weight of his words. No matter how long they had been in Formula One for, no matter how long they’ll still be here, no matter their achievements: there will always be someone to tell the stories of the drivers that had once reached the pinnacle of motorsport.

You knew Lewis had never taken his position for granted. He had fought to get to it, fought to stay there for the past seventeen years, and kept fighting to keep his place for the future. You had always admired him for his resilience, and you were always one to admire someone whenever they would reach the top step that was Formula One. Therefore, you were soaking in this moment. A moment shared with the seventeen people around you, whom you would never forget.

Your eyes, once again, met Franco’s. You gave him a discreet nod with a smile and slightly tipped your beer in his direction, as a way to tell him that yes, you would remember even him amongst the greatest. He shyly smiled back, and took a sip of his drink to distract himself from the way your eyes were softly looking at him from afar. After a moment of silence during when everyone had stayed quiet as a way of honouring those around them, you decided to fall back into your work persona.

“Not that I hate getting involved in this little get-together, but I am actually employed to serve y’all and not drink with the clients. Someone,” you emphasised with a look to Lewis, “better remember that.”

“Alright, blame it all on me.” Lewis raised his hands in defence. “I guess it’s time for some desserts then, right?”

The other drivers all agreed with the offer, and you took their plates to bring them back to the kitchen. After you had cleaned the table – except for the drinks that weren’t done yet, you gave everyone a dessert menu and let them make their choices. You came back to the table a couple minutes later to take the final orders, and wrote everything down. When you double-checked that you had seventeen desserts noted, you told the table that you’d be back soon and turned away. However, someone called out to you.

“Excuse me!” You recognised the voice as Lando’s. “You didn’t get Franco’s full order.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You immediately apologised, wondering what you had missed as you clicked your pen, ready to add anything else.

“What are you doing?” Franco asked the Brit. Although he was whispering, everyone could hear the stress in his voice as he had no idea what to expect.

“So what can I get you?” You looked at Franco and smiled, waiting for him to tell you what he wanted.

Absolutely panicking, Franco didn’t know what to answer. His only option was to look at Lando for an explanation as to what he was expecting him to say, but it turned out to be his biggest mistake. Your gaze followed the direction in which Franco had glanced, and your eyes met Lando’s. He had already been looking at you, a grin on his face as he rested his cheek on his palm.

“He’ll just have whatever he had ordered with a side of your number.”

The entire room – which was honestly just you and the drivers – fell silent. As cringe and embarrassing it was for Lando to say that, he knew it was for the greater good. The dinner would be soon over, everyone would go back to their hotels and immediately go to sleep, due to the busy day waiting for them. So who knows if and when Franco would’ve actually talked to you.

Not knowing what to reply for a few seconds, you then processed Lando’s words and chuckled.

“I’ll see what I can do, we have a very limited stock.” Your eyes went back to looking at Franco, who was blushing. “Can you confirm to me that Lando got your order right, Franco?”

“Y–yeah, that’s what I’d like.” Franco wanted nothing more than to disappear six feet underground right now. “If that’s okay… I would understand if you can’t accommodate that.”

“Shouldn’t be a problem, don’t worry. I’ll get back to you soon.”

When you left the drivers to their antics to go relay the orders to the kitchen, you couldn’t help the giddy smile that appeared on your face. It wasn’t everyday that a cute driver was interested in you. Hell! It wasn’t everyday that someone was interested in you, period. You thought about quickly texting Lewis to ask him for his opinion, but decided otherwise when you remembered him telling you about the ‘promising Argentinian who definitely deserved a full-time seat in the future’. You tried to find a way to give Franco your number, which could let you avoid doing so in front of all the drivers. You figured they had already teased him about it if Lando was as involved as he seemed to be, and kept thinking about a solution while you waited for the desserts to be ready.

Eventually, you had found the perfect idea. So when you brought the desserts to the drivers, you put your plan in motion. As you put Franco’s plate in front of him, you managed your best customer service voice along with an apologetic tone:

“I’m truly sorry, but your added request is actually impossible to fulfill at the moment.” You did your best not to laugh at your poor acting, and almost stopped pretending when you saw Franco’s dejected expression. “But, I found another solution to accommodate your needs.”

Confused, Franco tilted his head at you. You then gave him a piece of paper that was folded in two, and he wondered if your number was actually written on it or if it was all an act to reject him nicely. He truly thought you could have been interested too, but maybe the other drivers’ involvement along with him hitting on you at your workplace had been a complete ick. However, when you gave him one last glance before telling everyone to enjoy their food, he could swear you had winked at him. This was a good sign then, right?

As you left the drivers one more time, Franco debated unfolding the paper to read what was written on it. But when he saw that everyone was staring at him, expecting him to read out loud the content of the paper, he actually put it in his pocket. This led to the drivers all sighing of disappointment before they chose to focus on their food.

The rest of the dinner went well. When everyone was done eating, they simply chatted about the upcoming grand prix before it was time to pay and leave the restaurant. The drivers called you back for the bill, which you brought a few minutes later. Not thinking twice, you set it down in front of Lewis.

“I’m actually the one paying,” Valtteri pointed out.

“That’s so nice of you,” you replied. “I honestly think that the oldest should pay, but that’s just my opinion.”

“You wanna bankrupt me or what?” Lewis asked you.

“As if it would do harm to your bank account”, you retorted. “I’m pretty sure the world champion titles paid really well.”

“I can confirm”, Max shouted from the other end of the table.

“We’re settled, don’t worry. It’s my goodbye gift to them”, Valtteri assured you before you gave him the card terminal so that he could pay.

You thanked him and gave him his receipt before putting the terminal back in your pocket. You were about to start cleaning the table and bid the drivers good night when they asked you to take pictures for them. As an amateur photographer, you couldn’t refuse the request and even offered to use the digital camera you always had on you. They gladly accepted and you found yourself taking a dozen pictures of the drivers. You told Lewis that you would send the digitals later tonight, and he thanked you in advance.

It was now time for the drivers to actually leave and get ready for a good night's sleep before their last grand prix of the season. Telling them goodbye one by one and wishing them luck for the race, each driver sent you one last smile before thanking you once again for your wonderful service. The last two left were Franco and Lewis. You felt happy for Franco to be able to hang out so easily with his idol as you could relate to that surreal experience. They approached you while Lewis had his arm around Franco’s shoulders, and a smile was present on both their faces.

“We had a great night”, Lewis told you. “Right, Franco?” The young driver eagerly nodded and Lewis chuckled.

“Glad to know I did my job well. I’ll see you guys soon, yeah? Maybe for next year’s dinner?” You suggested.

“Why not tomorrow?” Lewis countered.

“You wanna have dinner here tomorrow as well?” You asked, confused as to why he hadn’t notified you sooner.

“I meant tomorrow at the track”, Lewis clarified. “And the day after that, and on Sunday for the race.”

“I didn’t buy tickets for this year. I’ll see well enough on my TV, don’t worry.”

“I have tickets for you though. Paddock passes and all”, he explained. “I sent them to you by email earlier during dinner. You’ll come say hi to us, yeah?”

“Oh! Well, yes! Oh my God, thank you so much!” You were absolutely ecstatic to be able to attend the grand prix. Usually, you would watch it from home, especially when you were working that day and didn't have any days off left to use.

“Everything has been arranged with your employer by the way; so you only need to show up every day, tour our garages, and look pretty to watch us race. Sounds good?”

“Sounds absolutely perfect, thank you Lewis.” You were beaming with happiness. “That means I’ll see you tomorrow as well Franco, will I?”

“Yeah of course,” he nodded. “You’ll have to come to me yourself though, I don’t have a way of contacting you.”

“Yet”, you teased with a smile. “Well, not like I don’t appreciate your company, but I need to close and go back home so I’ll have to ask you to leave guys.”

“Sorry,” Lewis and Franco both apologised before they finally left the restaurant.

You waved at them and closed the door as you got ready to finish cleaning up everything. On the other side of the door, the two drivers were now alone as they started making their way outside.

“You’re still not checking her note?” Lewis wondered after a few minutes of silence.

“I don’t know… I’m a bit nervous to read it,” Franco admitted.

“And I’m actually a bit curious to know what it says.”

Knowing that you trusted the Brit, Franco deemed it fine to open your note in front of him as he imagined that you hadn’t written anything indecent. However, when he finally revealed its content, Franco’s eyes widened with surprise and Lewis got even more interested in what it said.

“Ask the seven times world champion”, Lewis started reading out loud over Franco's shoulder. “He should give you my number if he thinks you deserve it (I certainly think you do)”.

While Lewis was laughing at your words, Franco was looking at him expectantly. If he wasn’t stressed enough about asking you out, he was now even more as he realised he had to go through Lewis – again.

“So… hmm…” Franco hesitated for a few seconds. “Is it actually okay if I ask you for her number? I swear I won’t do anything wrong!”

“Don’t worry kid, I trust you on that. Give me a top ten in free practice tomorrow and you got yourself a deal.”

“Okay!” Franco agreed, sudden determination in his voice. “I’ll do my best!”

“I don’t doubt it”, Lewis replied with a proud smile on his face. “Have a good night, Franco. See you tomorrow,” he added as they would be going different ways to their respective hotels.

“Thanks, you too!”

Excited for the next day, Franco had harboured a huge grin while going back to his hotel room. He was confident in his skills. And despite having to drive an old version of his car, half taped-up, he knew he was able to achieve good times tomorrow. He had a pretty good motivation to do so.

…..

“P7 Lewis!” Franco shouted as he walked towards his idol after the first free practice, phone in hand, and a smile on his face.

“Nice job kid,” Lewis congratulated. “Give me your phone then.” Franco immediately obeyed and Lewis finally put your number in the Argentinian’s contacts. “There you go,” he told him while giving back the phone.

“Thanks! I’ll see you later, bye!” Franco waved while he went back to the direction of his garage, already drafting up a text to send you.

He wasted no time in sending you the message he had spent all night thinking of. He hoped you wouldn’t take too much time to reply as he didn’t know if he could handle the wait. Luckily, his wish had been granted one way or another: as soon as he arrived in front of his garage, you were there. Looking down at your phone, you were quickly typing until your thumb was hovering over the send button. When you sensed someone watching you, you looked up and your eyes met Franco’s. So as you were exchanging eye contact with him, you finally decided on sending your text before putting your phone back into your pocket and walking towards Franco.

However, it hadn’t been Franco that you had texted. The Argentinian had only sent you a short message telling you that he would wait for you at the Williams hospitality, to which you hadn’t thought it necessary to reply as you had already been there. No, the person you had texted was none other than Lewis as you felt like he deserved a thank you for going along with your plan.

Thanks for being a great wingman, I’ll buy you a drink<3

You wouldn’t see it immediately as Franco had just offered you to have lunch with him – which you obviously accepted, but Lewis had answered you shortly after:

Save me a seat at the wedding and we’ll be even

(also lewis makes for a great baby name if you have a boy)

..........

I hope y'all liked this as much as i liked writing it🫶🏻 don't hesitate to comment or reblog if you appreciate my work, it always means a lot to me!!

Side note: I've been extremely unwell since the season ended😭 despite 2024 being my 1st season, I've grown attached to f1 sooo quickly that i missed it every time there was only a two weeks break and now we're acc gonna starve for 3 months🧍🏻‍♀️ and the fact that dts is being released in march is insane bc wdym we can't even have that during the off season

Anywayyys see you next time, take care of yourselves, and happy holidays🤍

#franco colapinto #franco colapinto x reader #f1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #franco colapinto x you #f1 x you #formula 1 x you #fc43 #fc43 x reader #fc43 x you

1K notes · View notes

it-happened-one-fic · 7 months ago

Text

Gentle Care - Jade

Author Notes: So, this is another fanfic that has been sitting, collecting dust in my Google Docs for quite some time now. It is finally getting to see the light of day because I wanted to post a Jade fic (totally not because of any cards that recently came out on the Japanese server). I didn't really listen to anything specific while writing this, so I really can't say there is any specific inspiration for this fic either. As per usual, reader is gender neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender neutral reader/ sfw/ flirtation/ romance implied/ fluff

Word Count: 1393

When Azul had called to ask for your assistance in patching someone up, you hadn’t been surprised.

First, you’d gotten very good at handling bandages and whatnot simply due to your numerous Overblot experiences. You always ended up with a myriad of bumps and scrapes after those.

Secondly, Floyd getting into a fight was hardly uncommon, so the idea of him being a little scraped up was hardly startling.

Finally, Floyd was perpetually mercurial, and if he’d even implied that he’d sit still and let you bandage him without squirming around, then Azul would do what it took to get you to Octavinelle just to ensure Floyd didn’t cause him any more of a headache.

An added bonus was that Octavinelle had all the supplies you could ever dream of, so there wasn’t even any need for you to bring anything with you. In fact, Grim even stayed at Ramshackle, opting not to join you on your little jaunt to Octavinelle. Though he did make sure to put in a request that you bring home some food for him that had you rolling your eyes slightly as you slipped out the door.

Your only real concerns on the trip to the mirror chamber were whether or not the other person had survived the altercation and how exactly you were going to scold the injured eel, even though you knew perfectly well that your words would do little good to keep him from getting into yet another fight.

Those thoughts vanished though when you stepped into the Mostro Lounge and found yourself greeted with an unexpected sight.

Jade, sitting there as calmly as ever despite the bruises and red scratch marks that were sprinkled across his person as he talked to his brother, who was currently crouched in front of him, “Yes, it seems they mistook me for you, Floyd. Handling them was an easy matter, but-”

Jade halted mid-sentence as he spotted you, his eyes widening briefly before his usual, carefully crafted smile appeared, “I wasn’t expecting you quite yet, Y/n. I do hope you didn't rush.”

It was those oh-so polite words that immediately sparked your ire, sending you striding forward and snatching the bandages off a nearby table as you did so. After all, that long red scratch on his arm looked particularly nasty.

“Do I want to know?” Your irritation was obvious to everyone present, but no one seemed terribly concerned. But, to be fair, you were already kneeling and inspecting the young man’s injuries.

Azul let out a sigh, stepping into the room and holding a stack of papers, “It seems that a group of juniors looking for a fight mistook Jade for Floyd.”

“It’s alright though, Shrimpy. Jade handled ‘em all perfectly well.” Despite Floyd’s reassurance, you were hardly pleased. Eying the tell-tale burn that affirmed that magic had indeed been used in the fight despite school rules.

You glanced up, immediately making eye contact with the injured young man who’d been sitting silently, with a slight smile on his face as he’d watched you this entire time. Almost as if he were gauging the situation before he said anything.

“So you got in a fight you could’ve avoided?” Your flat tone said everything, and Azul took it as a cue to leave. With a single motion, he signaled Floyd, and the two exited the space. Floyd linger long enough to cast a single glance that flickered between you and his brother over his shoulder before he disappeared into the kitchen.

Jade met your accusation with an easy calmness and no small degree of amusement, “I wouldn’t be so sure. That group seemed to have quite a bit of aggression towards my dorm and probably didn’t really care if it was me or Floyd.”

You remained silent as he continued, going about bandaging some of the worse scratches while he calmly spread burn cream on his arm, “And even if I had made them aware of my identity and they’d left, it would’ve simply meant my dear brother would be in my current position, and I couldn’t let that happen.”

You pressed a band-aid down with a bit more pressure than strictly necessary as your eyes found his, “Don’t play coy with me, Jade. You wanted to get in that fight.”

You had to curb your urge to roll your eyes at the innocent expression he gave you before you continued, “You’re far too smug to have not gotten your way.”

With those words, you stood, grabbing another band-aid and turning your attention to the scratch marks that were scattered across his face, “So who were they?”

He smiled, his sharp teeth flashing as he did so, “Three of them were beastmen. I personally thought the Diasomna fellow was stronger, though. But don’t worry, all of them are in far worse shape than me.”

You snorted in response to his all too smug response, your amused tone not matching your chiding words, “Don’t gloat.”

Despite yourself, you were smiling even as Jade spoke again, his tone getting gradually more amused, “It works for Floyd.”

Your gaze flickered over to his, your hands carefully placing the band-aid on his cheek as you frowned at him, “No, it doesn’t, and it won’t for you either. I treat you two the same way.”

You gently smoothed the too-tan fabric across his pale cheek, and he chuckled, “Surely you know better than to lie to me, my dear.”

Your movements stilled as his hand reached up and wrapped around one of yours, his gaze holding yours captive as he smiled like he’d won some sort of game, “You and I both know you treat me far differently than how you treat my brother.”

You tugged at your hand gently, and Jade let it go with ease even as his fingers carefully brushed the skin on his cheek where your hand had just been with a distinctly pleased expression, “Your gentle care for me proves it.”

You crossed your arms, shaking your head slightly as you frowned down at him, “Don’t tease. I might be helping you right now, but I will leave.”

He tilted his head, his expression shifting to a feigned mask of betrayed hurt, “And abandon me to the care of Azul and Floyd? You wouldn’t be so cruel.”

You rolled your eyes slightly at his dramatics but reached over and grabbed another band-aid, “I might. You never know when I’ll surprise you.”

A smile curved across his face as his gaze stayed locked on you even as you focused on one of the other scratches on his otherwise pristine skin, “Indeed, I never do….”

You hummed slightly as he trailed off, “Right, so you’d best watch it and not get hurt like this again. I might not take care of you next time.”

“Wouldn’t that mean playing favorites since you’ve kept on helping every time Floyd gets himself hurt?” He didn’t miss a beat, and you frowned at him, causing him to chuckle, “I won’t make any promises. I rather enjoy getting taken care of, you know.”

You tapped him lightly on the shoulder in a faux slap, “Alright, that’s enough out of you.” You paused, turning to look over your shoulder as you called out to Azul and Floyd that you were done.

Jade tilted his head as you looked back his way, his smile still present as he looked up at you where you stood between his spraddled out legs from his seated position, “Leaving so soon? Floyd made dinner.”

You snorted lightly, shaking your head at his coaxing tone even as Floyd stepped out of the kitchen, “You staying for dinner, Shrimpy?”

You held Jade’s gaze as you felt a smile spread across your face, and, despite yourself, there was very little hesitation as you called back, “Sure! Sounds good!”

And once again, Jade’s smile was all too smug, but at this point that was nothing new. Especially since you knew perfectly well that if he, or Azul, or Floyd, got hurt again, you’d be back to take care of them once again, even though all of you knew it was hardly necessary.

And that was even taking into account that you did play favorites. But you weren’t about to admit that to Jade, and, judging from the smile on his face, he already knew anyway.

248 notes · View notes

httpsserene · 1 year ago

Text

𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝟏 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝟵: 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗿𝗰 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 | 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝘀𝗺 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘆/𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗮𝗹

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: the 2023 season has had a despicable effect on charles’ self-worth. it pains you to see how he attributes ferrari’s failure to deliver to himself. you can’t stand to see him berate himself for things that are out of his control. when the emilia-romagna grand prix is understandably canceled, you start forming a plan. if charles doesn’t believe he’s as good as you say he is, you’ll make him internalize it–using any means necessary. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. explicit. orgasm delay/denial. handjobs. no penetrative sex. dom/sub undertones. sub!charles. mild praise kink. not beta read. orgasm control. charles’ self deprecation. 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 1k words. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: charles leclerc x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: drabble. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: get you daniel • caesar ft. kali uchis

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: not going to lie to you, after charles told xavi “let’s talk after the race” in austin, this upload automatically came to mind. in my delusional mind this whole fic convinced him to finally speak up for himself, even though it wasn’t posted before that (he hacked into my google docs or smith idk). i love when men whimper. haha, lol, who said that. a small drabble to satiate my soft!charles urge. hope y’all enjoy !!!

do you want to be added to my general taglist? send me an ask!

cross-posted on my ao3, htppsss

to see what kinktober uploads have already been completed or to see what's coming next check my f1 kinktober masterlist ! for all of my works see my general masterlist!

your hand is dripping lube on charles’ thigh as you brush a featherlight touch of a finger on his cock. he’s been rock hard since you’ve pulled his clothes off, even though he complained that this is the worst idea you’ve ever had. his head is turned to the side, buried in the pillow, already muffling his whimpers at your barely there touch. the red flush of his cheeks is already spreading down his chest and you haven’t even started touching him properly; this may be easier than you thought.

you shift forward, situating yourself comfortably between his legs, and you speak quietly but firmly, “tell me when you’re close.” charles hums, nodding his head jerkily, and bucks his hips upwards searching for more friction. you laugh at his desperation and push his hips down with your free hand, pressing him firmly into the bed—he doesn’t attempt to fight your grasp. power rushes to your head; he’s completely capable of pushing you off him with little to no effort; and he’s lying beneath you willingly. you loosely wrap your fist around him, and slowly drag your hand up and down. the amount of pressure you’re applying is incredibly light, but charles reacts as if you’re roughly squeezing. his back arches off the bed, thighs twitching sensitively, and his hand flies down to grasp at your wrist.

you pinch his thigh in warning, a sharp gasp at the fleeting pain escapes his lips, and you chastise him gently, “hey, i thought you were going to be good for me? hands off—put them by your head.” he squirms at the sound of your disappointment, and in his haste to be perfect for you, he takes your command a step further. he places his hands above his head, and tangles them together—he strives to be good for you.

you stare at him, unmoving, and watch as his eyes flutter across your face desperately trying to read your emotions. his eyes are wet with unshed tears, and his tongue flicks out to wet his dry lips anxiously. you break, it’s so hard to be mean to him when he looks so pretty. resuming the sweet stroke of your hand, you keep you motions calm and controlled—you want his orgasm to come to him calmly. however, no matter how gently you handle him, it doesn’t seem like your preferred outcome will play out. charles’ abs flutter, undulating at the effort he’s using to refrain from pushing up into the wet grasp of your fist, and his nails are digging into hands. on your next upward stroke, you twist your hand around the head of his cock, and his shocked moan echoes around the room. his face flushes a deeper red, humiliated at how easy he is, and he whimpers at the smirk that rises to your lips. you pick up the pace immediately, and wrap your other hand around him at his base. you sync the twist of both your hands, and hyperfocus on teasing the head of his cock. you lightly press your thumb across his slit randomly forcing a pitchy squeal from him, sometimes you trace the underside vein with a nail and a pained whine is muffled into the pillow.

it’s mortifying—not even three minutes after you started touching him, and he’s going to cum. you see him struggle to fight the coiling knot in his tummy, it’s useless, this is another race he always loses. charles’ chest heaves with his stuttered, rushed breaths and he whines in shame, “s’il te plaît—‘m close—sorry, i can’t help it!”

you coo at him, pouting your lips at his apology, “oh, charlie, don’t feel bad. you’re supposed to be close” you rub the palm of your hand roughly across his sensitive tip, and his body tenses at the switch in treatment, eyes rolling back under the intense pleasure, and you confidently reassure him, “thank you for telling me you’re about to cum. you’re always my good boy.” and, you pull your hands away from him, ceasing all motions.

charles crumbles. he sobs forcefully at the feeling of his release being pulled from him at the last second, tears streaming down his face, no longer having the will to hold them back. he thrashes his head against the pillow, and pistons his hips upwards into the air like it will convince you to touch him again. he flexes his cramped hands before he pulls them down to hide his face from your view. you let the monegasque cry out his emotions, knowing that his tears are from the shock of you denying his orgasm rather than pain. he unintelligibly pleads in french, brokenly whining about how close he was, his mouth running uncontrollably. when his tears slow, and his shoulders stop shaking, you tenderly pull his hands away from his eyes, and whisper at him sweetly to open his eyes.

he opens his pretty green eyes, and you lean down gently pecking his lips a few times before you speak, “there’s something you forgot to tell me. if you wanted my permission to cum, baby.” charles drops his eyes away, refusing to meet your gaze.

“you were supposed to tell me how good you are,” you see his lips part as he rushes to do so, but you smack your teeth, silencing him before he begins, “not how you’re good for me, charles—how you’re a good driver. how you’re one of the best, most talented formula one pilots we’ve seen. how you’re ferrari’s youngest driver since 1961. how you’re capable of winning a championship,” charles scoffs disbelievingly, “how you’ll no longer blame yourself for things out of your control. how you’ll realize that the team’s mistakes aren’t your fault. how you’ll stop allowing yourself to be the scapegoat for their shortcomings. how you’ll stop accepting their excuses for constantly disappointing you.” you stare at charles with earnest eyes, letting him absorb your words.

“you’re one of the best charles. you’re loved. everyone wants to see you succeed. everyone wants to see you become confident in yourself again. everyone knows that if ferrari gave you the car you needed, you’d be racing towards your championship. you’re skilled, charles. you’re wonderful.”

charles shakes his head, doubtful, and whispers timidly, “i’m not.”

your heart shatters, and you shakily respond, “oh,” you sniff, gathering your composure, “so, you’re saying i’m lying to you? are you calling me a liar, charles?”

charles wiggles against the bed, fighting the double-edged sword he turned on himself, and whimpers in frustration. he sobs, but shakes his head furiously at your question—you’d never lie to him, you wouldn’t hurt him. you halt the vigorous shake of his head, grasping at his chin with one hand and turning him to face you, “then…i must be telling you the truth, hm?” charles swallows, and murmurs out a soft oui.

“good,” you clear your throat and drop your hold, bringing that same hand down to wrap around his cock again. charles tenses at the moist warmth of your palm. “since we’re on the same page, if you want me to let you cum, all you have to do is convince me that you believe the same things i just said. i have all night to make you accept the truth, charlie. don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

taglist: @lorarri @soph1644 @jaydensluv @fanboyluvr @nissaimmortal @redgonerogue @hollie911 @saintwrld@buendiabebeta@butterfly-lover@lana-d3l-rey@dylan1721 @spicybagel14 @dhhdhsiavdhaj@miahgonzalez16@jjaekin @dkbj14 @f1lover55 @f1lov3r @mindless-rock@biancathecool@barnestatic@sweetpiccolo-blog@my-ylenia @zaynzierulez@reblog-princess-blog @lovingaphroditesworld @katekipshidze @darleneslane @inloveallthetime

692 notes · View notes

scoonsalicious · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 6, Unattached - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, angst (Bring on the Pain!), alcohol usage, dumbass Bucky, noncon kissing that becomes con kissing, so..., arguing, jealous!Pocket, posessive!Bucky.

Word Count: 5.4k

Previously On...: After Bucky left you alone in your room, not wanting people to get 'the wrong idea' about the two of you, you came to the horrible conclusion that you were in love with your best friend. What the hell are you going to do about that?

A/N: Wow, okay! So, first off, Chapter 6 is long, and it only has the one part, so don't worry if you go looking for more and the next thing you find is Chapter 7! Second, there's a lot of progress and updates on Unwanted I wanted to share! I am already well into writing Chapter 14, and have planned out the rest of the story. We'll have a total of 25 chapters, plus an epilogue (unless something strikes me creatively that throws the entire thing for a loop, then all bets are off). This beast, as it currently sits, is already 208 Google Docs pages long and just shy of 80k words, so final product is probably going to be novel-length, which just blows my mind. I want to give a special shout out to @mrsbuckybarnes1917 for being my beta and my sounding board; your help and support has been immeasurable!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief

You stood in front of the doors to the common room, the low thrum of conversation and music filtering out from inside. Taking a deep breath, you tried for the umpteenth time to calm your nerves following your unsettling realization.

You had no idea how to approach this, how to approach Bucky. Do you tell him how you felt, in the hope that he felt the same way? But what if he didn't? Could you risk losing him all together? Or do you just keep on like nothing's changed, happy with what you have together? Would that be enough for you? Could you even be happy in a real relationship?

Why couldn't your mother have just been a decent human being and let you go to school like a normal child so you could have worked through all your awkward issues at the appropriate time, instead of saddling you with years of trauma and isolation that left you an emotionally stunted adult? God, you needed a strong drink and to talk to Nat, preferably in that order. Pushing open the common room door, you stepped inside, surveying the room with one eye out for Bucky, the other out for your friend.

It should have been of no surprise, then, that instead of either, you first spotted Jade Carthage. She was situated on a couch in the center of the room, like a queen on her throne before her court, and nearly every Avenger and agent with a penis was surrounding her, jockeying for her attention, even Clint who, you knew for a fact, loved his wife Laura more than life itself.

Your stomach dropped when, after one of the agents in front of the couch shifted slightly, you saw Bucky sitting immediately to Jade's left. And while it seemed like everyone else was clamoring for Jade to pay attention to them, she only had eyes for him. Jealousy coursed through you as she leaned in close, whispering something into his ear that had him throwing his head back in laughter. It was an entirely unpleasant sensation that you would be happy to never feel again. Especially because you knew you had no real right to feel it in the first place. You may have just realized you were in love with him, but he had made no similar declaration to you.

"Careful, you glare any harder, you're liable to bore a hole straight through him," Natasha said, coming up alongside of you.

"What if I aim for her, instead?" you asked, reaching for the tumbler of alcohol she offered you and taking a sip to distract yourself. It was like she could read your mind.

Nat shrugged. "So long as I'm not the one cleaning up the mess, I say have fun. But what happened to no-strings-attached, friends who happen to fuck?" Nat asked with a smirk. "Don't tell me you've grown strings, Pocket."

You looked away from the scene in front of you. "There might be some growing of string, in theory," you mumbled to her. Nat was the only person you had confided in regarding your arrangement with Bucky. Of course, your friend had been thrilled that there had been something going on between the two of you, but she'd been more concerned about protecting your heart-- was this the safest thing for you to do? You assured her at the time you'd be fine, but now...?

Nat's eyes widened as a grin took over her face. "Honey, that's fantastic!" She leaned in to give you a hug. "I'm so happy for you!" Taking in your forlorn expression, she quickly lost her good humor. "Why do you look like you're about to throw up?"

You cast another glance over at the couch. Jade was tracing her fingers along the golden veins of Bucky's vibranium arm and you felt like snakes were crawling through your stomach. "Because I don't know what the fuck to do about it, Natty," you told her with a sigh. "I've never felt like this before in my entire life and it's fucking terrifying; what if he doesn't feel the same way? Or worse, what if he does and I mess everything up because I'm so fucking damaged inside?"

Natasha looped her arm through yours, leaning into you. "Honey, first of all, you are not damaged. You've been through hell and it left its mark on you, that's true, but you've been so strong. We're House Martell, remember?"

You sniggered, remembering how, when the entire Tower was obsessed with watching Game of Thrones together and picking what houses you'd each belong to, you and Nat had been drawn to the words of the ruling house of Dorne. And also, Pedro Pascal, obviously.

"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken," you recited from memory, a reminder that despite the obstacles life had thrown at you, you remained standing, stronger for what you had endured.

"Atta girl," Nat nudged you with her elbow. "And second of all, you don't need to worry about Bucky's feelings. Boy's obviously mad for you. Everyone can see it."

You drew your bottom lip in between your teeth. "I don't know, Nat. He's been acting strange lately. I tried to give him head earlier and he flat out rejected it." Come to think of it, that was exceptionally weird since, in your text exchange, he'd explicitly told you he'd been waiting in your room specifically for the purpose of getting off.

"Huh. That's... not like him." Nat tilted her head and looked over at Bucky, expression curious. "Did he say why?"

"He was real eager to come up here and get in the middle of that, apparently." You waved a hand in the general direction of the couch where Jade's little reverse-harem was still going strong. "I was getting on my knees and everything."

Nat raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"And then he made a really big deal about us coming up here separately. Said he didn't want people getting 'the wrong idea' about us if we arrived together."

Letting go of your arm, Natasha spun to face you, her face a mask of anger. "He said what now?!" she practically shouted, temporarily drawing everyone's attention to you. You looked around sheepishly as you tried to dismiss their stares.

"Nat," you begged in a whisper, "keep it down."

"Okay, okay, sorry." Natasha lowered her voice to a level only you could hear. "I'm sorry, but that's just complete and utter bullshit. Look, I know you guys think you've been in super secret stealth mode about hiding it, but pretty much everyone on the team knows you've been sleeping together. Hell, most of us placed bets on it." You opened your mouth in order to protest but she cut you off.

"If anything, it's weirder if the two of you don't show up to something together, so I don't know what the hell he's thinking."

"I do," you said morosely. "He doesn't want her getting the wrong idea about us."

"Pocket, don't even let your mind go there," Nat said.

"Think about it, Nat; I've been standing here for what, fifteen minutes now? And he hasn't even looked at me. When's the last time that happened?"

Nat's brows creased, her expression clouding over into something immensely sad for you, and you knew she was realizing what you'd already seen. In the last year, you and Bucky had been attached at the hip, nearly physically joined to one another, and if you were apart, your eyes were always scanning the room in search of the other's presence, seeking them out. The fact that he hadn't even looked for you, let alone come to you since you walked in, was telling in its own heartbreaking way.

Nat let out a heavy sigh. "Oh Pocket. Honey, I'm so sorry."

You shook your head, trying to dispel the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes if you kept down this path. "Don't Natty, please. I can't fall apart, not here."

"Yeah, okay-- you're right. Now is not the time. Come on." Linking her arm through yours once again, she directed you toward the bar where Tony was standing, whiskey in hand. "If anyone can talk you to distraction," she murmured as you approached him, "it's Stark."

You let out a startled laugh and let her guide you toward the man who had already saved you more times than you could count.

"Hey, kiddo; Romanoff." Tony saluted you with his glass and you did your best to smile back at him as you stuffed your emotions down as far as they would go. "What do you think of our new recruit?" he asked Nat.

"I think 'Weasel' would be a better fitting code name for her than 'Vixen,'" Nat replied with a sly smile as she took a sip of wine.

"Ah, saw the security feed, did you?" Tony asked her. Nat nodded.

"Watched it live as it happened. Wasn't going to leave my bestie without eyes on her six." She gave your arm an affectionate squeeze.

Tony hummed and glanced over to the couch. "Wish Cap had been as discerning as you. He refused to watch the feed; said it made him uncomfortable to spy on someone when they didn't know they were being recorded." Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Always the fucking Boy Scout," she murmured.

"So, how did the interview itself go?" you asked Tony, not really sure you wanted to know the answer, but feeling the need to punish yourself with the details, anyway.

Tony leaned back against the bar, resting his elbows on the polished wooden surface. "If it were up to me, we wouldn't even be playing this charade right now," he said, motioning with his chin to indicate the meet and greet. "Girl's a first-class bullshitter."

"Talent recognizing talent?" you asked with a wry smile that almost felt genuine.

He pointed a finger and winked at you. "Exactly. She talked a good talk, but it doesn't take much to see she's suffering from Big Fish, Small Pond Syndrome. She's in for a rude awakening if she thinks she's ready to swim in the ocean with the whales and the sharks."

"So, you're not going to offer her the probationary position?" you asked, hope rising pathetically in your chest. As if you could un-ring the bell.

"Oh, I didn't say that," Tony said as you deflated. "It's not all up to me. Though, given the fact that I personally fund this entire operation, you'd think it really should be, right?" At the look on your face he moved on. "Apologies, I digress. Anyway, Cap thinks it's only fair we offer it to her, seeing as how we don't have a ton of other options knocking on our door, and Fury's not going to get off my ass until we find someone." He sighed. "I think this entire exercise is a waste of time, and we should be kicking her out on her ass for how she treated you earlier, Pocket, but I'm outvoted."

"Thanks, Boss," you said softly, grateful at least that Tony could see through Jade's facade and took how she treated you seriously. Too bad your best friend couldn't offer you the same courtesy.

The timer on Tony's watch went off. "And that's the dinner bell," he said, putting down his glass. Clapping his hands, he called out to the rest of the room. "Attention Avengers, SHIELD Agents, and... whoever else managed to sneak in off the street! Dinner is served, so if we could all head to the dining room before the food gets cold and Raul quits on me, I'd appreciate it very much."

You held back as the crowd of people noisily moved to the dining room, hoping to catch Bucky's eye, but he remained steadfastly absorbed in his conversation with Jade.

"Come on, honey," Nat said as she took your elbow. "You can talk to him during dinner. You nodded and allowed her to lead you into the dining room. You and Bucky had sat next to one another, without fail, for every meal for the last year, the only exception being when one of you was away on a mission. You'd have plenty of opportunities to talk to him while you ate.

Normally, you all ate at one large table, but since this was a special occasion that required the attendance of a lot more than just the regular 13 members of your family (14, if Parker was around), Tony had the dining room arranged more like a restaurant, with a series of smaller tables spread out throughout the space.

You and Nat followed Bucky and Jade to a six-top where Steve and Sam were already getting ready to sit down, but you froze in your tracks when Bucky pulled back a chair for Jade, pushing it in behind her as she sat down before taking the seat next to her.

The air seemed to grow heavy, as though it weighed too much for you to draw it into your lungs and your chest began to hurt. How could such a simple action be causing you so much physical pain?

Steve, who had already been sitting at Bucky's other side at the head of the table, caught your eye and moved to get up to offer you his chair, instead, as though that could make up for Bucky's dismissal of you.

You subtly shook your head, not wanting to draw attention to the awkward situation you found yourself in. Instead, you made your way over to the only two remaining seats at the table: the one next to Sam that was directly across from Jade and Bucky or the one next to Jade at the opposite end of the table from Steve. Deciding it was better to be sitting across from Steve than either of the other two, you opted for the chair at the end, and Nat slid in next to Sam.

You cast a quick glance in Jade's direction and had to stifle a sick laugh-- she was physically coming between you and Bucky, quite literally.

Jade reached a hand out to Nat across the table. "Wow! Black Widow! It is so great to meet you! My name's Vixen; I'm a huge fan! I'm so excited for us to be working together!"

Bless Nat, she just stared at the girl with arms crossed across her chest, impassive and judging, until Jade slowly and awkwardly pulled her hand back.

"I take it, then, that you've deemed the Avengers good enough to be your backup team?" Nat asked without expression.

You did your best to cover the laughter that escaped from you with a fake cough, but you didn't try very hard to be convincing.

"What's this about, now?" Steve asked, leaning forward.

"Little Vixen over here," Nat began, leaning back in her chair until she was perched on the two rear legs, "was live-streaming this morning to her social media followers. Told them it wasn't so much that the Avengers were interviewing her to see if she'd be good for the team, but she was interviewing us to see if we'd be good back up for her."

Jade had the decency to look embarrassed for a moment before she turned to face you for the first time, anger taking over her features. "So, what? Didn't much take you for a tattler. You that intimidated by me?"

You opened your mouth to defend yourself but were interrupted by the sound of the legs of Nat's chair slamming back against the floor. "Pocket didn't tell me shit. I heard it straight from your mouth on the security feed. That and a lot of other interesting things."

"You're spying on her, Nat? Really?" Bucky spoke up. "She's our guest and she deserves a modicum of privacy, don't you think?" You stared at him, open mouthed, but he didn't spare you a glance.

"It was a part of her interview, Barnes," Nat spat. "Maybe if you---"

"Okay, Nat, Bucky," Steve said, using his official Captain America voice, "let's table this conversation for later and just enjoy our meal. Raul worked really hard on tonight's menu, so let's not spoil it for him, alright?"

Both Nat and Bucky grumbled their agreement as the catering staff brought out the first course and placed them on each of your plates. Normally, you loved when Raul, Tony's personal chef, cooked meals for the team; he always made sure to throw in something with lemon in it, knowing how much you loved the flavor; but tonight, your appetite was failing you and you ended up pushing more food around on your plate than you put in your mouth.

You couldn't help but steal glances over at Bucky, who continued to be wrapped in conversation with Jade. You tried to keep up with what the others were saying, occasionally nodding your head in agreement to something, but you weren't able to pay any real attention; your mind was elsewhere until you noticed Jade looking at you.

"You know, I have to say I'm surprised to see so many non-Avengers here. I got the impression that this group was... I dunno, elite? But it seems like you just let anyone in."

Steve laughed from the other end of the table. "Being an Avenger is a team effort, Vixen. Everyone plays their part. And besides, Pocket here's just as much an Avenger as I am." The comment took you by surprise, and you gave Steve a warm, appreciative smile.

"Thanks, Cap," you said, truly touched by his words.

"Well, she's more like Avenger-adjacent," Bucky amended, and all the warmth you'd felt at Steve's compliment vanished in an instant, leaving you feeling cold and hollow. The words shouldn't have stung-- it was how you had referred to yourself hundreds of times, but you tended to reserve it for your low moments, when you were feeling unequal to Earth's mightiest heroes. Hearing the words come out of Bucky's mouth, as if he, too, shared in your belief that you were inferior to the rest of them... well, that fucking hurt.

Steve let out a surprised laugh and clapped Bucky on the shoulder. "Pocket may not have enhanced physical abilities or powers or what have you, but she's got a brilliant mind. She's got a PhD in Mechanical Engineering and Computation from MIT, three Master's degrees, she speaks seven languages, she's got a black belt in Krav Maga, and she was the youngest Chief Technology Officer in Stark Industries history; all without ever having formally graduating high school. It's no exaggeration for me to say that I'd be dead a couple of dozen times over if I hadn't had her at my six. If anything, I think it makes her even more important than the rest of us. We're here because of the physical things we can do– primarily because of things that happened to us by accident; Pocket's essential to the team because of how she thinks, and the strength and quality of the work she’s willing to put in. We're replaceable, Pocket's one-of-a-kind."

You looked at Steve as if seeing him for the very first time. You had no idea he thought so highly of you, and his praise warmed you. You offered him a soft smile, your throat tightening with emotion and leaving you unable to express your gratitude. You mouthed a silent thank you instead, hoping that conveyed how much his words meant to you. He winked back at you in acknowledgement.

Bucky glanced back and forth between the two of you, as if analyzing your silent exchange. He coughed awkwardly. "I just meant that we try to keep Pocket away from the really dangerous stuff," he backpedaled, poorly, in your opinion. "Can't risk her getting hurt." He smiled at you, but you just stared back, expression blank, until he looked away in embarrassment. Good. Let him feel an ounce of the discomfort you’d been feeling this entire time.

Small talk resumed around the table, with Sam telling Steve about some new modification he was making to Redwing, and Bucky and Jade back to being locked in their own bubble. You did your best to ignore the little glances and gestures that Jade directed to Bucky, but it felt like your eyes were drawn to them like a magnet every time she touched him. Which seemed to be happening more and more frequently. You couldn't help but notice the way he leaned toward her when she spoke. Did he ever do that when he was talking with you?

"So, Bucky," Jade said eventually, her voice low and flirty as the caterers took away the main course, "handsome super hero like you, you seeing anyone?" Your eyes snapped up to Bucky's face, watching him. Surely he was going to look to you, make eye contact, something to acknowledge what was between you, to make you feel like you were in the same room, hell, on the same fucking planet as him. But he didn't.

"Nope," he said, running his hand over the back of his neck like he always did when he was feeling self conscious or nervous. "Not seeing anyone, though I'm not opposed to the idea." You had been stabbed in the abdomen on a mission once, and that had hurt less than hearing the words that had just come out of Bucky's mouth. It took everything in you to resist getting up from the table and leaving the room at that moment.

"Really, man?" Sam asked from where he sat on the other side of Natasha, his voice hard in disbelief. The atmosphere at your table had shifted. Natasha, Steve, and Sam all stared at Bucky with looks ranging from incredulity to flat out disgust. Bucky either was oblivious to the stares or was doing a great job patently ignoring them.

You couldn't even bring yourself to look at him anymore. It felt like a betrayal, the way his eyes had met Jade's and not yours. How could he sit there and just completely deny you like that? Had you been deluding yourself? Had you just been some kind of fuck toy this entire time?

The caterers brought the next course, a cold raspberry soup. You sat there, staring into space as you mechanically spooned the soup into your mouth, trying your hardest to appreciate the taste, but everything seemed bitter in light of Bucky's attitude, actions, and words.

"Could you hand me the water carafe?" Bucky asked. You looked up to watch Jade hand him the bottle of water. "Thanks, doll," he said, smiling at her.

You dropped your spoon, letting it fall into your nearly empty bowl with a reverberating clang. Your companions at the table stared, eyes wide as their gazes traveled between you and Bucky. In his entire time at the tower, he had never once called another woman 'doll.' It was a moniker he'd specifically reserved for you.

Or, it used to be.

You could tell the exact moment when Bucky realized he'd fucked up. His eyes locked on yours, the color draining from his face. He opened his mouth as if he was going to speak to you, but you'd had enough. Without a word, you pushed back your chair with enough force that it practically tipped over and exited the dining room.

You made it all the way to the elevator before you heard him calling for you.

"Doll! Doll, where are you?" You stabbed repeatedly at the call button, as if it would bring the car to you faster. You could hear his footsteps drawing closer, and you really didn't want to talk to him right now.

Finally, the elevator doors opened and you slid inside, turning to press the 'Close Door' button just as you saw Bucky turn the corner to the elevator bay. You were ready to breathe a sigh of relief at evading him until Bucky's metal hand shot in the diminishing space between the closing doors. You were trapped.

"Doll, didn't you hear me callin' to you?" he asked as he slid into the car with you.

You looked around, as if searching for another person in the car. "I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Should probably be more specific with your pet names, then. A girl’s liable to get confused." You were impressed that the words came out as hard and bitter as you felt inside.

Bucky flinched. "I deserved that."

You leaned forward to press the button for your floor before crossing your arms and glaring at him. "You fucking think?"

"Look, it just slipped out, okay? I didn't mean anything by it. It's not a big thing you needed to storm out over." You rolled your eyes at him, disgusted that that was the only thing he seemed to realize he'd done to offend you all evening. "Pocket, can we just talk about this?"

"Oh, now you want to talk to me?" you asked, jutting out your hip in annoyance. "Seemed like earlier today, you couldn't wait to not be seen with me, or do you no longer care if people get the wrong idea?"

"Alright," Bucky said, slamming his fist against the elevator's emergency stop button. You stumbled as the car came to a grinding halt. Bucky tried to put his hands on you to steady you, but you pushed him away. "What is going on with you today, Pocket?"

"What's going on with me?" you asked him, incredulous. "What's going on with you? You've been an ass to me all night, that is when you weren't acting like I didn't exist."

"How am I being an ass?" he asked, voice rising. "You're the one who couldn't even hold a civil conversation with our guest! It was embarrassing!" You recoiled as if he'd slapped you, backing away from him until your back hit the elevator wall.

"Wow. Okay then." You blinked heavily, telling yourself not to cry. You'd be damned if you showed weakness in front of him now. Bury the emotions, encase them in ice. "Sorry I'm such a fucking embarrassment to you, Sergeant Barnes. Now that I know how you feel, I'll make sure to stay out of your way so you don't have to put up with me." You moved to press the button to restart the elevator, but Bucky grabbed your wrist.

"Don't do this," he growled at you. "Don't hide behind snappy quips so you can shut down and avoid having a real conversation with me." You stared between his eyes and where he held your wrist in his metal grip. It wasn't tight enough to hurt, but it was tight enough to keep you from breaking free.

His gaze softened as he watched you. "I never said I was embarrassed of you, Pocket. I just don't know why you had to be so rude to Jade at dinner tonight."

"Name one thing I did that was rude to her," you challenged.

"Okay," Bucky stuck out a finger as though he were about to count off all your grievous errors. "Let's see... You said... No, that was Nat... You were... okay, Steve said that... You said... No, that was Nat again." He looked up at you sheepishly. "So, maybe you actually didn't say anything during dinner, but not talking to her was still rude."

You scoffed. "You want to talk rude and embarrassing, Bucky? Do you know how embarrassing it was to have everyone staring at me when you pulled out my chair for Jade, or when my own best friend didn't defend me when she had the audacity to call me a fucking tattler? Like I’m some kind of fucking child?" Your voice was rising and you could feel yourself getting swept up in your anger. "How about the pity looks I got when everyone heard you lie about not seeing anyone, or when you called her 'doll'? Or when you told her I was 'Avengers-adjacent'? You think I'm the embarrassing one? You made me feel like an insignificant piece of shit tonight, Barnes. God, if it hadn't been for Steve saying what he said, you would have driven me to tears."

Bucky had been staring down at his boots as you'd been speaking, as though your accusations were too much for him to face head-on, but at the mention of Steve's name, his head snapped up, blue eyes like ice on your face. "Well, if Steve's such a hero, why aren't you fucking him, then?" he asked, voice clipped and bitter.

You yanked your wrist free from his grasp. "Maybe I should start!" you shouted. "At least he's not embarrassed of me and doesn't forget I exist when another pair of tits shows up!"

Bucky's gaze darkened and in an instant, he was on you, caging your body against the elevator wall, a hand on either side of your head. "Don't you even fucking joke about that," he snarled.

You jutted out your chin, refusing to show any sign of weakness, though his actions were beginning to frighten you. "Who says I'm joking? Sounds like a good idea to me; thanks for suggesting it." You moved to duck under his arm, but he grabbed you by the shoulders, pinning you in place.

His breaths were coming hard and fast now, as though he'd just run a marathon. His gaze darted between your eyes and your lips, as though trying to make up his mind about something. In the next instant, his mouth was crashing down on yours, his tongue demanding entry.

You gasped at the sudden intrusion and Bucky took that as his invitation, deepening the kiss with a primal fervor. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you into him. For a moment, you were stunned, unsure of what was happening. But then instincts took over – he was kissing you, really kissing you. Your stomach fluttered and your heart hammered in your chest.

One of your hands ran through his hair, while the other gripped his shoulder for support. His hands had somehow migrated beneath your shirt, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the bare skin at your sides. You returned his kiss with as much intensity as he gave. But then suddenly, as if waking from a dream, you remembered why you were angry with him. You pushed against his chest, breaking the kiss.

You were both panting, and despite your attempt to put distance between your bodies, Bucky leaned down, resting his forehead against yours as he fought to catch his breath. "Don't," he whispered hoarsely, his voice heavy with an emotion you couldn't quite place. "Don't sleep with Steve."

"You realize how incredibly infuriating you're being right now, don't you?" you asked. "You can't just treat me like that, ignore me all night in favor of someone else, then kiss me and try to tell me who I can or can't sleep with."

"I know, Sweetheart," he said, nuzzling your nose with his, "I know and I'm sorry, but please, promise me: no matter how angry you are with me, don't sleep with Steve. You wanna fuck someone else to piss me off? Go fuck Sam, Thor, Rhodes, hell, even Parker. I'll hate it, but if it's Steve, it'll fucking kill me."

"Your signals are all over the place tonight, Buck," you sighed, letting out an involuntary moan as his lips found the sweet spot on your neck and sucked at your skin. You had to pull away before he turned you into a babbling mess. "If you think you can just kiss me into oblivion and I'll forgive you for everything you've said and done tonight, you better think again, because that's not happening."

Bucky ran both his hands through his hair, sending it pointing every which way. Then he pressed the emergency stop button again, letting the elevator resume its journey. "I know I owe you an explanation, Pocket," he said. "So, can we go to your room and talk? No interruptions, no one else, just you and me, okay?"

You studied him, considering. A part of you was still so angry at him that you didn't want to hear him out, but the part of you that loved him hated the idea of leaving things in a bad place. In your line of work, you never knew when your next goodbye might be your last goodbye.

"Fine," you said, dropping your shoulders with a sigh. "We can talk, I'll hear you out, but I'm not promising forgiveness."

He smiled, his eyes bright once again. "That's all I ask, Sweets. That's all I ask."

<- Previous Chapter / Next Chapter ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

264 notes · View notes

bean-market-art · 23 days ago

Text

梅が香を...

This is my end of an art trade with @kalolasfantasyworld! Working on this was an absolute BLAST (as you can tell from the five page Google Doc of explanations for all the stuff I did not need to add lmao) and I had so much fun with it! Thank you for doing the art trade with me Lola :D

Full explanation of history and themes below:

Historical Overview

The Edo period (1600-1867) is pretty prominent in modern culture, and is often romanticized as one of THE periods of Japanese cultural significance. Hinokuni (Land of the Sun) in Black Clover is based off of Edo-period Japan, or at least the late Muromachi pd.

You might know this as a time of samurai, ninja, etc. However, a fair amount of that is completely wrong. Edo period society was carefully structured to maintain peace. There was no war, and therefore virtually no work to be done for warriors �� save a few rebellions, samurai were basically unemployed. However, since all of the power was in the hands of the military, they remained at the top of the rigid hierarchy established by the shogunate. This ended up putting the samurai in a strange situation: they grew more and more financially destitute, but still kept their high status as society slowly broke down over 200 years.

In the mid 1700s, however, Japan was the most urbanized country in the world. Woodblock printing meant that media became available to everyone for a much lower cost than it would if everything was an individually commissioned drawing. “Modern” consumer pop culture arrived and evolved in Japan much earlier than other places, and part of pop culture was the ukiyo-e.

What is ukiyo-e?

Have you ever wanted to see a hand drawn and carefully reproduced woodblock print of a woman having sex with an octopus? I imagine you don’t, but we’re on Tumblr, so. You can’t be sure.

Anyway, If you know The Great Wave off Kanagawa, the glorious and quintessential piece of Japanese art, that was done by Katsushika Hokusai. Hokusai, the mad lad, also printed women fucking octopodes. Both of these things are (according to the people of the time) a depiction of the “Floating World,” ukiyo. The Floating World refers to the beautiful, fleeting, and hedonistic red-light district of Edo (now Tokyo) which was literally a man-made sex and theatre island. Pictures of the Floating World are usually the traditional Japanese woodblock print, and can be anything from beautiful flowers to famous actors to scenic views to pictures of lovers, to… well, porn. A lot of porn.

However, this particular drawing is (thankfully) based off of Lovers Walking in the Snow (Crow and Heron), a wood-block print that dates to around 1770.

The long sleeves on the woman is one of the signs of the mid-Edo period, as those were in fashion at the time.

According to the Met, “Of all ukiyo-e prints of lovers, this one creates the most romantic and melancholic mood. Harunobu emphasizes the intimacy of two lovers strolling in the snow, even suggesting perhaps a michiyuki, a path to a love suicide.” The love suicide or double suicide was considered one of the most romantic things lovers could do at the time…. which… you know, that’s cool for them, but I wanted to thematically move away from that for this one, so I switched the crow to a crane 😭 This only partially solved the problem but I swear they’re not going to kill themselves guys I love Nozelena and there are other reasons I picked this print, please –

Crow and Heron was created by Suzuki Harunobu, who invented the nishiki-e, or multicolored woodblock print. Prints prior to his innovation were limited to two or three colors, but Harunobu’s wealthy commissioners gave him enough money and time to carve up to twelve individual wood blocks to print many different colors onto one sheet of paper.

He is also famously known for fucking hating kabuki performers, so sorry, Harunobu, but I’m putting you in here with mentions of kabuki actors lmao. shoutout to Wikipedia for Harunobu facts please don’t kill me hbomberguy im just a little man with dreams

Clothes

I want to preface this by saying that these clothes are NOT COMPLETELY HISTORICALLY ACCURATE. With that being said, let’s get into the Themes :]

Helena, our Crane, is wearing clothing that’s pretty similar to the woman in Crow and Heron, but she’s also wearing an auspicious red uchikake, or over-robe. Uchikake are only really used in wedding kimono in modern times, but they were frequently worn in everyday life by the wives of samurai-class nobles during the late Muromachi (1336-1573) and Edo periods. Consisting of a patterned silk robe left open over her white kimono with the fashionable long sleeves of the time, she’s hopefully a little more warm in the snow!

Image courtesy of the Met. Uchikake depicting scenes from the Tale of Ise

Plum blossoms are the flower of the month for February, and make up at least ten entries in the Kokinshu, a famous seasonal poem anthology. These white blossoms are often elegantly 'confused' with snow on the branches of the plum trees, and are a sure sign of early spring.

Given that this drawing is being posted around the time that these poems were likely written back in the 900s, I thought it would be fitting to put Helena in plum blossoms. You can also see faded plum blossoms in two corners of the piece. Cranes (tsuru) are associated with the same bright red that Helena’s almost always drawn in. They signify long life, purity, good luck, and fidelity. Overall, cranes have the same general happy connotations that I think of whenever I think of Helena, and they have the same colors -- they're perfect for each other!

You can see a version of Helena’s outfit with the hood in the ukiyo-e below, also done by Harunobu.

Nozel is styled as a daimyo or regional warlord of the time. I wanted initially to put him in a kataginu kamishimo, which you can see below, but the haori (jacket) and hakama (pants) that he’s wearing are also appropriate.

Dressing him down and leaving his hair down saved me from having to draw his stupid braid hopefully gives the piece a more intimate feeling.

If Nozel was a daimyo of the time period, he’d only see Helena a few months out of the year. The Tokugawa shogunate used a system called sankin koutai, or alternate attendance, to prevent the regional warlords from rising up and trying to usurp their rule. This system meant that the wives and children of the daimyo were forced to live in the capitol, and the daimyo could come to Edo once or twice a year to see them. The shogun having everyone’s wife and kids readily accessible to him at all times was… a pretty effective deterrent from treason, so Nozelena wouldn’t get to see each other often. Any time they would spend together would be very precious, and I hope I've depicted that feeling.

Nozel’s haori hakama is not very traditional (usually it would be black with gold thread for the kamon, or family crest stitched onto the shoulders of the haori. You’ll see that where there’s meant to be a family crest, I’ve put the Silva cross), but there’s a reason for that. The EEO store New Year had a Nozel in a haori hakama that’s pretty close to the colors of the aosagi, or grey heron, and that gave me an idea.

Grey herons carry connotations with mystery and death, which fits well for a man who has a secret about death that he can’t reveal to anyone or risk killing them too. Herons are also featured in an incredible kabuki performance called Sagi Musume. This dance was famously done by onnagata Bando Tamasaburo (link here to watch! He’s a Living National Treasure: I can’t recommend it enough). It’s tragic, but beautiful.

Crows and herons are both somewhat related to death, which is likely part of the reason that it’s intimated that the two lovers in Harunobu’s piece are walking to commit a double suicide. However, changing one of the birds in the metaphor to a crane lightens up the metaphor and makes it much more hopeful, which I associate with this ship. As spring comes in and the white snow melts away to reveal budding plum blossoms, so too does a little sun shine on the grey heron, trapped in his secret and closed off from the world.

Or something like that. It’s pretty pretentious, but I enjoyed thinking about this relationship and conceptualizing the metaphors I wanted to use for this drawing.

Ai ai Gasa

The Met writes about Harunobu’s piece: “The couple walk together in the quietly falling snow, in what is known as an ai ai gasa pose, literally, the sharing of an umbrella and love.” I kept this pose for Nozel and Helena – I knew I wanted something to do with a paper umbrella, since our girl has paper magic. In the starting sketches, he was holding the umbrella over her head while she reached for koi in the river (koi in Japanese is a homophone for love), but this version of the pose is both more historically aligned and cuter in my opinion.

The umbrella actually exists.

This is a wagasa – a Japanese umbrella – made by Matsuda Wagasa in Kanazawa. It has Helena’s signature red as well as a Hangetsu/half moon pattern. Kanazawa umbrellas are different from any other wagasa makers in the country, and a dying craft. Matsuda is the only store left that still makes Kanazawa-style wagasa. I know no one on this site really has any money, but if you want to buy a piece of long-lasting, living art, please consider supporting them.

The Poem

The writing that you see in the corner is a famous poem from the Kokinshu. However you ask me, “Alex. This is the Edo period. That’s the 1700s. This poem was from the 890s. The EIGHT. NINETIES. Why the hell are you using poetry in Classical Japanese? No one from the Edo period could understand something that was written 800 years ago at the time.” And to that I say: that’s a very logical conclusion! However, you are WRONG, because there’s nothing LOGICAL about ELEGANT, AESTHETIC PERFECTION!!!

Classical Japanese (theoretically the Japanese used from around 900 to 1100) was used well into the Meiji period (1868-1912) whenever someone wanted to sound fancy or official. There are hundreds, maybe even thousands of poems about plum blossoms and spring, but I picked this one for a reason. Harunobu often included poems in his work to poke light fun at them, but the inclusion of this poem in my drawing was perfectly serious. I’ll leave you with it to close out the explanation of this drawing. I hope seeing this piece of art has given you a happy and soft feeling, even if it’s only brief – I love Helena, I love this ship a lot, and I appreciate how hard Lola has worked to understand Nozel’s character and create an OC that plays well with him. I know only a few people who have put in the time and effort to meet Nozel where he’s at instead of trying to make him into something he isn’t. I imagine that for a man who has experienced so much death and made so many mistakes in his life, Nozel’s feelings for Helena are somewhat like this poem.

梅が香を袖にうつしてとどめてば春は過ぐとも形見ならまし

mume ga ka wo/sode ni utsushite/todometeba/haru wa sugutomo/katami naramashi

If only the plums' scent/would shift to my sleeves and/stay there, then/even when spring is past and gone/a keepsake it would be...

#black clover #black clover fanart #nozel silva #nozel black clover #black clover oc #bc oc #helena drazel

37 notes · View notes

toseesoclearly · 2 months ago

Text

ST5 "overall season plot" brain dump

I’m being driven moderately nuts by how we still do not know the overarching plot of ST5 or like, any confirmed details about it really. Things we’d gotten in past season promo cycles by this point (the ST3 Starcourt Mall/NYE teasers, ST4 character descriptions and the four storyline teasers, IDK about ST2 I wasn’t around for that) I think were much stronger fodder for sussing that part of the puzzle out. which tbf is maybe why they’re withholding them this time around.

But it's just so hard to really speculate without that larger framing, so this has not stopped my getting stuck on this. so I'm dumping a recent version of an attempt to think through that below - partially posting this to keep track of my own “theories” (that’s putting it too strongly lol) but I’d also love to hear what other people think/how you’re putting the kind of scant data we have on this together.

So, framing this as a kind of exploration of: what are those big “overarching season plot” details we’re missing, and what are some possibilities based on current available evidence for answers to those questions about the bigger picture?

(the below noodling contains spoilers for all ST5 spoilers we’ve gotten so far, through official or unofficial channels, so don’t read if you’re avoiding any part of that. if you're not caught up on any of the details cited here, I've been trying to keep track of that in a more detail-oriented way in a "ST5 Timeline" Google doc)

I. What is/are the precipitating event/s that cause the story to pick back up in November 1987?

Some options:

A. Vecna’s reemergence begins after he’s spent 1.5 years regrouping (maybe manifesting for our protags via Will’s Vecna connection-related distress accelerating, though if we know anything about Will it is that he is unlikely to volunteer that info to the group himself). What is Vecna’s grand plan, and how much have our protags figured out since we last saw them (both about the plan, and how to finally take him down)? B. Military “stabilization” of the mega-rift starts to show cracks, probably related to Point A. maybe makes the McCorkle Farm UD entry point possible? C. Something is going on with the kids in Hawkins. Impossible to know at this point if the military’s interest in the elementary school kids is self-initiated or is caused by some kind of supernatural, probably Vecna-related phenomenon, since both military and Vecna seem to have their own separate but surely somehow related agendas wrt the kids. D. Linda Hamilton arrives in Hawkins, probably related to Point C (or maybe she’s been around and the Extended Party is just becoming aware of her/the specific danger she poses, maybe because of Point C) E. Supernatural-caused murder, disappearance, or some other kind of incident, resulting in probably military “forensics” team response, per early extras casting call. Also maybe weird “sickness” of some kind spreading through around Hawkins, considering how much time we seem to spend at the hospital and how Nancy is posted there as a candy striper. F. Supernatural/Vecna targeting of Holly, also probably related to Points A and C, though my current read is this starts up a little later than whatever the real “Ground Zero” launch point for this season is, mid or late ep 1 into ep 2 G. Some new development with Max’s condition? I have no other speculation on this because we've gotten so little on what's up with Max, but seems logical since her situation is probably thee dangling thread from the end of ST4 H. Probably not the precipitating event, but larger town response to whatever the precipitating event/s end/s up being also likely to be a driver, picking up the unresolved ST4 Hellfire Club witch hunt/Satanic Panic storyline

II. What is our protags’ response to this/these precipitating event/s?

A strong possibility is the proposal plan of a plan that the Party brands “The [Dungeon] Crawl." It seems like the enactment of a plan, “crawl” or not, is underway by midseason and has at least has a couple phases with the second phase being at least two-pronged (unsure if El + Hopper prong that splits off at the same time was intentional)

Phase One: “The Turnbow Trap” - they need something from the Turnbow mansion to enact Phase Two. Derek? Some information from a document in the Turnbows' possession? A key? IDK Phase Two: Group A - Upside Down: enter UD via a portal of some kind on the McCorkle Farm. in the UD, visit Lab, Church (Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, Dustin). Steve car's antenna may be installed specifically for this UD trip. Group B - Right Side Up: post up at the McCorkle Farm, access the downtown Hawkins military barracks (where the kids are) via the tunnels, end up going to the Hospital and Lab (Joyce, Will, Mike, Lucas, Erica, Robin, Murray, Erica, probably Vickie) Wildcard - Upside Down x2: Are Hopper and El in the UD part of the plan, or were they forced to split off? either way, they also seem to go to the Lab and the Church, but probably on a separate timeline than Group A (unless they meet up at one and go to the other location together?).

III. What are our protags’ goals with the above plan?

Some options:

Save kids from military custody/possible experimentation

Locate and save Holly

Figure out the Max situation, revive her

Locate and take down Vecna

Solve remaining mysteries about the Upside Down and the Hawkins National Lab, especially as it relates to dealing with Vecna

I think the "sub-goals" to achieve all of these are probably more important for piecing together the big picture, but when I try speculating on those atp it starts to feel like I'm getting a little far afield of responding to the evidence we currently have. so this really basic list is a placeholder.

Appendix: Other important "season big picture" details

that didn't get mentioned anywhere else, woops

WSQK: something more is going on here than just it being the group HQ this season. what is it about a radio station that motivated that choice for our big new season location? (plus the car antennas, Mike keeping a not supercom radio close at hand biking/at school - so much radio equipment all over the place...)

Flashbacks, probably mindscape or vision-y, to Henry's past and Will's 1983 stint in the UD seem to occur throughout the season

#truly have no idea if anyone else will find this useful #i know none of this is 'new' info #i feel like somehow this has to be charted against like #theme. character arcs. etc.#but at least exporting this somewhere feels like it's easier to toggle back and forth between those two aspects of the story #stranger things 5 #st5 speculation #st5 spoilers

22 notes · View notes

blurryhowlett · 2 months ago

Text

The Hugh Jackman twitter drama involving a person named Dawn.

I don’t normally make post like this but I had read a bit about the topic, saw all the screen shots and basically I think I have enough context to make a post. Why am I making a post? I feel the need to just talk about the whole ridiculous situation and tumblr didn’t even upload my first post about it so now I have to restart. (Haha yay..) Anyways, I wanna start by saying that this fully grown woman is clearly struggling with delusions and mental health issues. As a person who battles with my own struggles, I’m trying to understand the situation through her eyes as well but the whole thing is so utterly ridiculous, it’s hard to feel bad for someone who had years to try to come to terms with the fact that this ‘Hugh Jackman’ she was talking to was never actually him.

For context, Dawn had apparently had some role play account and had been in some sort of group role play and that’s where she found ‘Hugh.’ She said the two of them clicked pretty easily and would talk nonstop. She said she didn’t think it was Hugh at first but her reason for starting to believe so is that he was really good at writing? Like writing scrips? I don’t know but the fact is, she believed it was him and fell in love. It’s a sad situation, many people get scammed (if you can call this a scam since the only thing she lost was her role play) but this took place in 2013 and is now coming forward with a whole google doc with many screen shots and a whole essay about how this was him. I’ll make a separate post to show more screen shots since apparently tumblr freaks out when you have too many pictures in one post. (Learned that the hard way.) I’m made to believe that with the new rise of the Hugh and Sutton drama had triggered her (and frankly, a lot of other people too) and had decided to ‘call him out.’

Screen shots here:

This is her going on a whole rampage and we only get one post of her maybe thinking about how it might’ve not been real but I think that’s as close as we are gonna get to her facing reality. I do think it’s really messed up to talk about his ‘dick measurements’ and claim it as facts and then put it in your bio. I do think it was perfectly fine to tell her the truth and call her out on her problematic behavior because having mental health issues doesn’t excuse toxic actions/behavior. I think her going private on twitter was a good thing and maybe it’s time for her to drop this and finally let it go. She tries to grasp at straws by saying the colors he wore was because of her, that a lot of pictures of him smiling at his phone or being on his phone was because of her. The whole thing is sad when you look at it from the point of view of a woman who seemed to be very desperate for love. Or.. you can look at it how a lot of people are, that the whole thing is not only ridiculous- but utterly funny. And I’m serious, their role play is mostly sexual and even if I don’t know Hugh personally- I don’t think he talks like that and I don’t think this man comes home every night to log into a role play account about himself to do sex role plays. I mean- I’m not gonna judge but it’s highly unlikely.

This woman definitely got clowned on, bullied and all and while I don’t condone bullying- I also don’t like her actions and her outburst as she targets Hugh when it wasn’t even him in the first place.

I do think she needs a serious wake up call as this level of obsession is truly unhealthy. Again, I’ll make a separate post to show the screen shots of their role play and conversations. Thanks to whoever read this!

#logan howlett #wolverine #james logan howlett #deadpool and wolverine #hugh jackman #drama #twitter

22 notes · View notes

lotusishere · 3 months ago

Text

Side rant: Argument I had on TikTok/Reddit

ARGHHHHH. BARK BARK BARK!!!!

How many times do I have to explain to people that I don’t HATE Fitz Vacker?! Do I hate him sometimes? YES. But that does not mean I hate him entirely. NO! I have broken down his character for years (since I was in middle school). I have an entire google doc with every character in kotlc with a deep understanding explanation of everyone’s lore and struggles. You are not going to look at me in my AUTISTIC EYES and tell me I hate him because he’s a meanie face to Sophie and that’s it. I have explained on multiple platforms that I don’t like Fitz. And I don’t hate him because of the shipping nonsense. I have never liked this man. EVER. Since book one I didn’t really like him and in book two it confirmed why.

My dislike for Fitz is more than his relationship with Sophie. And the mischaracterization I see people do with him is even worse. Fitz is just not a character I would like. But that does not mean I hate everything he does and stand for. Does he crash out? Yes. Is he an asshole sometimes? Yes. Is he sometimes self centered and only focuses on his own struggles sometimes when the situation is bigger than him? Yes. But he’s also a good guy (when he’s not crashing out). He handled the Dex situation well when Dex explained to him that he didn’t fucking like him. He cares about not only his family but his friends. He’s loyal to who he sticks with. He’s protective. Majority of his anger issues is because he doesn’t want himself to be hurt or other people. That is something I have observed by reading the series and ripping it apart.

I don’t like Fitz but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect him as a character and a person. The only time I can say I crashed out over his character was in Exile and Legacy (mostly Legacy). I don’t know what crack cocaine Shannon put him on but that was not Fitz. It was his evil twin brother or something. People might disagree with me for saying that but i genuinely don’t feel like Fitz would have crashed out THAT bad. Do I believe he would have crashed out? Yes. But he was diabolical in Legacy. He was so bad my friend who is Fitz’s NUMBER ONE SUPPORTER had to look to the left and to the right. She didn’t even know how to begin defending him and I’m glad I wasn’t her because I didn’t know where to start either.

Blame his teenager hormones or whatever you want to say to justify his actions. I think he was going crazy in Legacy for NO REASON. I felt like I was reading an elf version of Hamlet and he was about to make Sophie the next Ophelia. The whole Alvar thing fine okay, I can see why he would be upset. But the matchmaking bullshit? Don’t piss me off. I just don’t understand why that was a problem in the moment. Isn’t matchmaking for MARRIAGE?! You can date whoever you want. It’s who you marry that matters to the system. I don’t get why matchmaking was so important at the time because THEYRE CHILDREN! They literally just STARTED dating. Unless Fitz was under the impression that once they got together (dating wise) that Sophie was the one and he was going to marry her. But I feel like that’s a discussion people HAVE with their partners during their relationships if NOT BEFORE! I just wish I knew what was going on in his head because I have tried to understand his nonsense in that book and I could only level with 2/6 of it.

Anyway that’s how I feel about Fitz again. He’s a goofy guy with desperate need of a rage room and a life time therapy session. All the elves need it. Jesus Christ they make me want to pop a Xanax.

#kotlc #kotlc fandom #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc thoughts #kotlc sophie #kotlc keefe #keefe sencen #kotlc fitz #fitz vacker #kotlc biana

22 notes · View notes

darligvane · 6 months ago

Text

Gage headcanons

I have these all written down in a google doc (plus way more) so I figured I might as well throw some here now that I'm getting more comfortable using tumblr lol. I'm very open to discussion about these! I might post more in the future if someone finds it interesting.

CW for: Minor mentions of addiction and some general trauma stuff. Nothing too bad I don't think but don't hold me to that.

A lot of these mention The Harvester by the way, sorry. Lore makes my brain itch.

● While he is a part of a minority of raiders who can actually read and write‐ (as evidenced by him leaving messages to Colter on his terminal) -he is dyslexic. It takes him a while to write things out coherently, and reading anything more than a few short sentences is often frustrating.

● ^ because of this, he prefers / genuinely enjoys comic books. They're light on reading and he can usually tell whats going on even without dialogue. He had a small collection of comic books back when he lived with The Harvester, and still gets kind of pissed he never got those back.

• Regarding comics, his least favorite character is the Silver Shroud. He just pisses him off.

● His eyepatch being so large is actually functional! (Somewhat) I like to think he lost his eye by getting shot in the face with a plasma round, which corroded and destroyed a large area of skin around his eye and down his cheek. So the large metal plating on his eyepatch covers the large scar.

● He actually lost his eye when he first joined The Harvesters gang when he was younger. One of Harvests gang members pulled the trigger on him when he initially approached them, thinking he had ill intentions. It sucked- but hey, at least they let him in.

● He made his own cage armor and designed it particularly around his needs rather than protection. He uses the cage to hold tools, parts, a rag, etc. while he works on things like Colters power armor or other mechanical things he fiddled with. Definitely doesn't make him very bulletproof, but following the boss around keeps him away from most combat situations anyway.

● Colter had a tendency to use Gages armor like a big handle to drag him around a lot, which he didn't particularly enjoy.

● His favorite colour is yellow, which is why his cage armor is the colour it is. He painted it himself :')

● Has the most horrific trust issues in all of mankind. (Thanks for betraying him Harvest, he will absolutely not recover from that.) He won't eat anything he doesn't see prepared himself, won't set down his drink unless he's alone, he can't sleep around other people, etc. When Colter dies and the new Overboss takes over, he doesn't even tell them where he sleeps until he trusts them entirely. He'll just dissappear at night unless you call out for him.

● These trust issues leak into his behaviors during relationships also. Down to the more simple things. He prefers to hug his partner from behind or be big spoon, he prepares food for them both, takes the night guard when camping, etc. Anything that puts him in the more advantageous position, even if its subconscious.

● The Harvester haunts him. He still sees and hears him in the shadows or corners after however many years its been. Has nightmares of him coming back and finally finishing the job, killing him. Feels the cold metal of a scythe against his throat when it isn't there... its endless. Even something as common as the sounds of distant gunfire make him paranoid, since it reminds him of the betrayal. Absolutely ruined him.

● Has tattoos inspired by / centered around The Harvesters. Covers them with his armor though. Hes got some trauma to unpack man, idk. (Should I do a tattoo tour for him?)

● One of the reasons he hates chems is from a previous addiction. He doesn't like to talk about it, but he made a few of his worst life decisions on chems and it just put a bad taste in his mouth. He'd prefer it if his Overboss / partner was in a rational state of mind, thank you.

● He is surprisingly good with animals for the most part. Particularly cats. Does the old man / dad thing where he says he doesn't like them or calls them mean names while secretly petting them or letting them hop in his lap when he's alone.

● Not usually a big fan of the more "exotic" wasteland animals though. Totally got jumpy one day and shot a Pack molerat on accident.

Thats probably enough for now. I'm happy to answer questions or expand on these more if asked, and I'll probably share more in the future. (Maybe some 18+ ones too? We'll see.)

#he is all i think about #i need a bumper sticker of him on my car #headcanons #fallout 4 #fallout #nuka world #porter gage #fallout 4 gage #the harvester #fallout 4 the harvester

44 notes · View notes

eclipsejynx-writes · 9 months ago

Text

Kist Day 2024 - Cigarette Break.

I, personally, hate to brag, but I wrote 7 pages (if you put it on Google docs).

i'm not really obsessed with this, I don't like how their personalities came out, but then again I knew about Kist day literally yesterday at 7pm so- enjoy!

This is also my first writing on this blog, so yippee!^^

Summary - Dust and Killer never got along together. So when they both wake up in the middle of the night and run into each other, the have a cigarette break. However, will either of them reveal why they were up?

TW - Killer x Dust, cigarettes / smoking, hallucinations (Dust's Papyrus), bloodlust / L.V. high, mentions of attempted murder, g a y

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Killer and Dust were two sides of the same coin; Dust was calm and quiet, never speaking too much, always caught up in his head. He was never caught twice slacking in his work, because though he may hide it well, he was always wary of those around him. Killer was loud, never thinking twice about what he said or did. It was safe to say he was arrogant with his spot as Nightmare’s right-hand after Cross left. He was never concerned about his actions’ consequences. Of course, that led to ‘punishments’ from Nightmare, but he never learned his lesson.

It was late at night, around four in the morning, when Dust woke up from a restless slumber. The voices he heard were more violence-craved than usual, causing him to panic and wake up in distress. It wasn’t anything unusual compared to the countless times he woke up with his magic on with summoned bones. He remembered one specific day vividly. He summoned bones in his sleep that attacked a wall and damaged most of his room. Killer and Horror rushed in and he almost killed them with a gaster blaster. Nightmare came just before it hit them and made a wall to protect them. Nightmare focused his energy towards Dust, or so he’d been told, to divert the negativity away from him to feed off. He remembered waking up in a panic and jolting up from his bed, only to be met with Nightmare scolding him for waking up everyone. He didn’t care too much about the insults, the yelling, or the punishment for not eating for a week and gaining the harder missions. What truly pissed him off was the grin Killer was wearing the whole time while he saw him being chastised. He clenched his fists while glaring, but Killer’s smirk just widened at the sight. It was clear he enjoyed the scenario in front of him, and he didn’t give a damn that Dust was in trouble. He wished Nightmare didn’t block the gaster blaster from Killer’s stupid target soul. That was the day when he declared he officially hated Killer.

His footsteps patted against the wooden staircase as he descended from the third floor to the second. When Nightmare first recruited him, he was easily lost through the twisted labyrinth of the castle. He remembers when he first met Killer outside of Nightmare, he was aimlessly walking around the castle, trying to get a feel of the layout. Killer approached him and, without warning, started teasing his clothing, saying he looked just like Sans. It ticked him off, and Killer could tell. Did that make him stop? No. If anything, Killer just got more persistent. When Dust didn’t react to the insults as much, Killer randomly threw a knife towards him. A fight broke out until Nightmare came and separated them. The whole situation just made his hatred for him grow.

Thinking about Killer made Dust more stressed. It always bothered him how nonchalant Killer was about the whole situation. He took his hood and pulled it further down his head, feeling self-conscious about his face, his identity. He was never comfortable knowing those other versions of himself, so carefree and happy, could’ve been him.

‘Feeling down, Sans?’ Dust sighed at the familiar voice.

“Go away, Papy. I can’t right now,” Dust said deeply, determined to ignore the voices and their pleas for bloodlust.

‘But Sans,’ complained Papyrus, his bodiless figure swirling around Dust, ‘I feel that you feel what I feel! I know you feel the urge-’

“No is no. It’s late.” Dust pushed himself forward, forcing himself to drown out his decapitated brother’s head.

His brother was pissed off. ‘Sans! Now isn’t the time to joke around you lazy skeleton! You’re L.V. is rising, I know it!’ Sans Dust didn’t respond. ‘Who knows?’ Papyrus said, getting closer to Dust’s face. ‘Maybe you could just kill some of your friends-’

“Not my friends,” Dust interrupted again, turning away from his dead brother. “They’re my… teammates, I guess.” Papyrus sighed, floating beside his brother as they stalked the corridors.

The walls were an ashy gray, giving the illusion of being trapped in a void. The only light source was the full Moon shining light through the giant windows on the walls. Dust tried to ignore Papyrus’s nagging by focusing on the other sounds and sights in the castle. However, it was painfully quiet tonight, and nothing interesting in the castle beside him and his brother’s head.

‘It’s pathetic,’ said Papyrus, continuing with his speech. ‘You’ve worked here for… how long? Months? Years? And yet you all hate each other. Isn’t it embarrassing?’

Dust sighed. “I don’t hate Horror. Just Killer and Nightmare.”

‘That just makes him an easy target!’ Papyrus exclaimed, trying to get his point across. Dust looked at Papyrus like he was crazy. Papyrus huffed and corrected himself. ‘Killer’s an easy target, not Nightmare. Killer doesn’t like us either, so it wouldn’t be shocking if you attempted it, anyway. He’s just an emotionless oddity and a loyal dog. We can take him!’ Sighing, Dust just accepted he wouldn’t get out of this conversation no matter how hard he tried to ignore him. ‘When has he ever done anything for us, huh? He hates you. He’s always mocking you, your personality, your traits, everything.’ Papyrus floated in front of him and stared him dead in the eyes. ‘If anything, you should just do it now. It’s not like he’ll be missed, anyways.’ Papyrus scoffed.

“Please, stop,” Dust pleaded. He looked down at the floor, avoiding the gaze of his dead brother as he continued walking the halls.

‘Unless, of course, you’re growing sof-’

“Dust!” A voice echoed through the hallways, snapping Dust out of his trance. Dust perked up and looked around. Papyrus wasn’t in front of him anymore. Unfortunately, what was in front of him was a skeleton with gray shorts with a white stripe, a black, sleeveless shirt, a messy red target in front of his chest, and black tears falling from his eyes in messy strokes.

“Killer,” Dust replied, nodding his head as a greeting. His tone was quiet, not wanting to talk longer than needed. After all, he spent most of the day arguing with him.

Grinning as usual, Killer approached him. “So, watcha up-” Killer started speaking, but Dust was walking past him, attempting to leave the conversation. However, Killer wasn’t much for social cues and turned around to follow. “Geez, rude much?” As if he wasn’t the rudest person Dust met since Papyrus.

“I’m not in the mood,” Dust admitted.

Killer huffed. “Well, that attitude isn’t gonna bring you anywhere.” When Dust didn’t respond, he rolled his eyes and walked beside him. The two roamed the hallway. “So, what are you up for anyway? Unless you’re in a depressive episode as usual, then that would make sense, wouldn’t it?” Killer snickered slightly, but Dust remained quiet. The only noise that filled the air was the sound of trees rustling in the distance, the leaves shaking in the wind. Killer’s grin fell into a frown. It was always hard to tell what Dust was feeling. His hood always cast a large shadow on his face, covering most of his expressions.

“You’re always so boring,” Killer said, his void-like eyes narrowing. “Also weird, but we’re also murderers, so that makes sense, doesn’t it?” It’s not like he was expecting a response. Killer gave an exaggerated groan, flailing his arms up. “You’re so quiet. I don’t like this silence.”

“Well,” Dust argued, “I do.”

“That’s because you’re boring.”

“Oh, shut up.” Dust, deciding he had enough of Killer and his annoying antics, took a sharp corner to a balcony. Maybe he’ll finally have some peace around here.

The night outside was peaceful and quiet, shades of blue, all blurred together like someone took a brush and mixed a bunch of watercolors. The stars were like speckles of paint splattered randomly around the sky, making intricate patterns. The balcony on this floor had a beautiful view, but the balcony itself wasn’t as nice. It was made of gray concrete, just like the rest of the castle, but slightly cracked and chipped. Dust was surprised that it hadn’t collapsed yet.

Dust sighed heavily and leaned on the railing. A nice breath of fresh air was just what he needed. He shoved a hand in his pocket and took out a pack of cigarettes.

“Y’know-” Killer started behind him- “those aren’t very healthy.”

“We’re skeletons.” Dust took out a cigarette and flicked the tip. In an instant, the cigarette’s tip lit up with a blue flame. “We don’t have lungs.” Dust put the cigarette in his mouth and slightly relaxed at the familiar feeling of nicotine. Killer huffed but didn’t say anything. Dust was grateful for it.

The two stayed out on the balcony, surrounded by a calming silence. Dust was confused about how Killer could stay so quiet, but he didn’t question it. He didn’t want the fragile silence to shatter the moment he started asking questions. Without saying a word, Killer stood beside Dust, staring into the sky. The wind was a gentle breeze, barely moving Dust’s hood. It was quiet. Too quiet that he could’ve forgotten Killer was there.

Dust couldn’t help himself and mentioned. “You’re awfully quiet.”

Killer chuckled. “What? Worried about me?” There it was. Dust scoffed and blew out a puff of smoke, not even looking in his direction. Killer chuckled. “Can’t take a joke?”

“Not if that joke comes out of your mouth,” Dust shot back, regretting speaking.

Killer frowned and leaned a bit closer to Dust. “Aww~ Did I piss off the emo?” Dust groaned and took a few steps farther from Killer. Snickering, Killer moved closer, trying to get into his personal space. “C’mon! You know I was joking, don’t cha’?” Killer raised his ‘eyebrows’ expectantly, trying to look into Dust’s face.

Instead of responding, Dust took a puff of his cigarette. Maybe if he ignored Killer long enough, he’ll back down. Killer’s smile slightly fell. “... Right.” Noticing the behavior change, Dust glanced toward Killer’s soul and noticed it was shaking slightly. This wouldn’t be unusual when he was fighting, and the opponent was close to him. He’s seen it happen with Outer and Color. Seeing his soul like this in the middle of the night was weird.

Sighing, Dust finally caved in. “Why are you up?” Killer tore his gaze away from the stars and looked at Dust, shocked that he responded.

“Oh, uh… just, couldn’t sleep,” he replied.

Dust hummed, looking down below from the balcony’s view. “Do you want one?” Dust held out the cigarette pack, gesturing for Killer to take it. Killer looked at it before gently taking it out of Dust’s hands. It was almost like he was afraid it would crumble under his touch.

“I don’t have a lighter,” Killer said dryly, holding it back to Dust. “And I don’t smoke.”

“Well,” Dust said, taking a cigarette from the box and flicking the tip, making it light up, “you don’t need one.” Dust smiled, his grin sly as a fox and devilish as a wolf. He handed it to Killer as he eyed the cigarette suspiciously. After carefully taking the cigarette from Dust’s white-gloved hands, he plopped it in his mouth.

Killer looked out into the sky. “Thanks,” he said quietly, still curious about why Dust offered him the cigarette. Dust nodded in a way of saying ‘You’re welcome’ and looked out to the sky with him.

The silence was comforting for Dust. Killer’s foot was tapping the ground rhythmically, making small noises. Of course, it bothered Dust slightly, but he forced himself to ignore it.

“You never answered me,” Killer reminded, trying to fill the void of noise. He took the cigarette out his mouth.“Why are you still awake?”

“I could say the same for you.”

“I did answer!” Killer was a bit annoyed at Dust hiding things.

“You did,” Dust said, “but that doesn’t mean it’s the truth.” Killer opened his mouth to argue, but couldn’t think of anything. Dust could see right through him.

“Pshh, whatever.” Killer put the cigarette back in his mouth, frowning slightly. Dust looked at Killer, his gaze going towards his target soul. “Fine, fine,” Killer said, noticing Dust staring. He took his cigarette out of his mouth and spoke. “It’s just because of this stupid nightmare.” Dust looked up and stared at Killer.

Before bursting out laughing.

Killer groaned. “It’s not funny!” Still, Dust cackled, his cigarette dropping on the balcony. “Dust! You’re making me regret this!” Dust’s laughter slowed down, but he kept snickering. Killer sighed as his soul started to shake and vibrate a bit more. “It’s not that funny.”

“I think it’s funny that you’re so worked up over nothing.”

“Seriously?! I preferred you when you were quiet, Dust.”

“I thought you hated silence,” Dust said, chuckling. He stomped on his cigarette. “Besides, it’s pretty funny.”

“It’s not.” Killer put his cigarette in his mouth and looked away from Dust, crossing his arms over his chest. Dust rolled his eyes, not that Killer could see it, and walked a bit closer to Killer.

“If it makes you feel better, I woke up cause of voices.”

Killer took the cigarette out of his mouth and looked at Dust, confused. “Voices?” Killer questioned. “So, voices are less crazy than a bad dream?”

“Don’t make me punch you.”

“But you love me!” Killer gasped dramatically. “Are you saying our relationship was forged upon lies?!”

“What relationship? You mean you being an ass to me and me dealing with it?”

“If anything,” Killer started, smirking, “that’s the peak of friendship.” Dust scoffed and looked away, not wanting to hear it. “Oh, c’mon Dust! We’ve known each other for over a year! You should know by now that if I annoy you, it means love.” Killer put the cigarette in his mouth and made a heart shape with his hands, smiling childishly.

Dust sighed. “Yeah, right.” He took the cigarette out of Killer’s mouth and put it in his own. “But that’s not my love language.”

Killer, taken aback at the sudden snatching of his cigarette, looked at Dust with wide eyes. His mouth was slightly opened as he stared at Dust smoking the cigarette that used to be his. Dust snickered, his voice deep and gravelly. “What? Cat got your tongue?”

“I- You-” Killer stammered, not being able to process what just happened. “You- You practically kissed me!”

Dust looked at Killer like he was crazy, not like anyone could tell. “It’s just a cigarette. Not like we’re making out right now.”

Thoughts still jumbled up, Killer tried to speak against him. “Yeah, but- I mean-”

“If you think this is intimate, then it’s clear you’ve never dated someone before.” Dust took out the cigarette and blew a puff of smoke into Killer’s face. Killer coughed and waved a hand in front of his face, the smell burning his ‘nose’. “You always have a big mouth. It’s weird seeing you so speechless and silent.”

“Well,” Killer started, clearing his throat, “maybe I want to be quiet for a change.”

“That’s laughable.” Dust leaned on the railing once again, the smoke from his cigarette floating into the air.

Killer looked at Dust with a strange expression. Dust side glanced at it. His head was hung lower than usual, and his hands were messing with the bottom of his shirt.

“I’m sorry!” He blurted out, making Dust turn his head completely. When Dust looked at Killer, his cheeks were slightly red. “I mean,” he cleared his throat, “I’m not completely sorry, I just…” He trailed off, not knowing what to say. “I mean I’m sorry for always… jabbing, at your back, and… The- The dream I had, that’s why.” Killer looked at Dust. When he didn’t make any movements or signs of reaction, he looked back down. “The dream was that you went crazy and killed me. You were on an L.V. high or something and a gaster blaster hit me.”

“That’s why your soul was weird?” Killer looked at Dust, offended, but nodded anyway. “Hm.”

Killer waited patiently for any other response, but none came. When he looked back at Dust, he just saw him smoking like nothing happened. “... That’s it? No ‘I forgive you’ or ‘In hell I’ll forgive you’? Nothing?”

Dust looked slowly back to Killer before looking out into the sky again. “It’s almost dawn,” he said. “We must’ve been here for around two hours now, huh.”

“I-”

“And here you are, worrying about some dumb dream.” Dust looked at Killer. Though his face was completely covered by his hood, Killer could feel there was no malice in his words. “If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve done it by now.” Well… Dust is Dust.

“But you do, don’t you?” Killer looked at Dust like he was stupid. “I’ve always been a pain to you, since…” He thought. “Well, since I met you! I’ve always insulted you, your appearance.”

“Especially my appearance.”

“Heck,” Killer said, ignoring Dust’s interruption, “remember that one time when I gave you a mental breakdown because I took down your hood?”

“Ah.” Dust felt the memory rushing back to him. Killer was poking at his hood too much and eventually pulled it off. It’s where his fear of letting people near him comes from. “Like it was yesterday.”

“So- So why?! Seriously, how-”

Dust grabbed him by his collar and yanked him towards him. Killer was now directly in front of Dust. So close that he could faintly make out his appearance. “Because we’re teammates. I may hate it sometimes… Most of the time, but we’re stuck together. We don’t have to be friends for me to not want to kill you.”

“I beg to differ.”

“K i l l e r .”

“Alright, alright!” Killer shoved Dust’s hand off of his collar and quickly backed away. “Geez, you’re scary.”

“My L.V. is 20,” Dust confirmed. “You should be scared. I could kill you right here, right now, and Nightmare would just replace you with another timeline.” Killer looked at Dust with fear. Dust’s eyes started to glow as his purple magic started to surround his aura.

Dust could hear Papyrus whispering in his ear.

“You’ve insulted me the moment I got here, and you’ve continued with it ever since. You’ve humiliated me, agitated me, and I could make your death anything but swift and painless.” Dust started to approach Killer until his back was against the railing. Another step and Killer would fall over the edge.”

Papyrus’s whispers grew louder.

“But I won’t.”

Papyrus’s whispers faded away into the wind. Killer looked at Dust, his fear replaced with confusion.

“The reason I’m up is because Papy wanted me to kill you. His whispers were loud. Louder than usual.”

Killer looked at Dust, and after so long, he felt an emotion.

“I got up and went out of my room because they hurt. I was scared I would’ve killed you like last time. Remember that day when I almost killed you with a gaster blaster in my sleep? That was him when I was on an L.V. high. I couldn’t control it.”

Killer felt pity.

“I just hate how emotionless you are. You’re always so loud and obnoxious, you never care about consequences. But I do. It also pissed me off how you didn’t care when I got punishments like it was amusing.”

Killer felt shocked.

“But that day, despite how annoying you are, that could’ve gotten you killed, okay? One day I won’t be able to control myself and you’ll get killed. I can feel it. Papyrus almost made me kill you. Yet, you didn’t think much of it.”

Killer felt grateful.

“That scares- Are you even listening to me? I thought I was having a moment with-”

Killer felt loved.

Killer gave a giddy smile and lunged at Dust, hugging him tightly. His arms were wrapped around Dust’s waist as he twirled around in circles on the balcony, laughing in euphoria. Dust yelped in surprise, but Killer didn’t care much. “Killer-! Put me down-” But Killer didn’t dare let go of Dust. He kept spinning around with Dust in his arms.

After a few minutes, Killer set down Dust on the balcony. Dust latched onto Killer’s arm for a bit, feeling dizzy. “S-Sorry, Dust.” Killer laughed awkwardly, helping Dust stand up straight. “I just… I don’t really know.”

“It’s… fine?” Dust was honestly really confused. That was strange.

“Sorry, again. I didn’t mean to be so… emotionless. I don’t really control it-”

“I’m sorry,” Dust said, cutting off Killer. “I know it’s not your fault. We all have… issues, don’t we?”

Killer snorted. “Issues? More like trauma caused by a human child.” Dust sighed. The emotions problem wasn’t going away any time soon, but he’s dealt with it for a year. He’ll live, for the most part. Killer grabbed Dust’s gloves hands in his own, the fabric feeling cold. “But… Thank you. For- For forgiving me.”

“Forgiving… That’s a bit far.” Dust tensed up slightly at the sudden contact, but didn’t move. “It’s more like… a mutual love-hate relationship?”

Killer gave a small gasp. “You love me?”

Dust rolled his eyes and pulled his hands out of Killer’s grasp. “Do not misinterpret my words, Killer.” Killer’s smile turned into a frown. Dust scoffed. “You’re not pulling the puppy eye’s card. It won’t work.”

Killer’s frown turned into a sly smile. “Aww, I thought my puppy face was cute! Disappointing.”

Sighing, Dust took out his cigarette and tossed it over the balcony. Killer frowned. “Hey! What’s the point in taking my cigarette if you’re just gonna throw it away?”

“To be fair, it was mine first.”

“Still-” Before he could say another word, Dust grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him forward. Dust’s lips met with Killer’s in a lustful, rough kiss.

The moment felt surreal. For Killer, at least. Killer gasped through the kiss as his arms slowly wrapped around Dust’s waist, careful not to overstep boundaries. Once his arms were completely around Dust’s waist, he pulled him closer so their bodies were together and close. Dust’s hands guided themselves, tracing over Killer’s neck before wrapping around to put more force into the kiss. Their mouths moved in sync, the taste of cigarettes lingering in their mouths in a burning sensation. Killer felt hungry for the affection and love he longed for, but never received. Dust wanted comfort and reassurance, knowing he wouldn’t lose control from a high.

They both struggled with LOVE.

As Dust tried to pull away, Killer kept pushing forward, not wanting the moment to end. Dust gave a light laugh as Killer’s lips drowned it out.

The two made out on the balcony until the first peak of dawn, the golden bursts of sunlight shining on their faces. Still, they didn’t care. They just stood there in each other’s embrace.

When they finally let go, they stared at each other; Killer’s black eyes shining in the light, and Dust’s face visible, his eyes a crimson red and neon blue. Killer finally spoke. “Did… did you really just kiss me?” He was shocked, but a cheeky grin slowly spread onto his face.

Dust rolled his eyes. “Surprised I didn’t throw up.”

“Doesn’t answer the question, Dust Bunny.”

“I don’t know,” Dust admitted, pulling down his hood to reveal his face even more. Killer blushed when he saw his face more clearly. Every inch of his face was beautiful to him. “I think you have to kiss me again to find out.”So they both stood on the balcony and kissed again, this time full of passion and L.O.V.E. love.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

oopsie daisy, almost forgot about the ending part-

so, yeah! that's it- It's cute I guess, but I never like what I make so I have to say I hate it- lol. hope you enjoyed! this was a nice one- took me two days, too- thanks to my friend who gave me the idea <3

49 notes · View notes

pumpkinmetaphor · 2 months ago

Note

📜 and ❤️ for your WIP ask!

Thank you! I'm going to treat "WIP" as "WIP that is actually partly published" eg. Okay, Cupid! just so we're not raking through my however many Google Docs lmao

📜"how did you get started on your WIPs?"

Saw the (alleged) interview with Hatori Bisco about the Kyoya and Kaoru spin-off. I decided to think about what that would look like. I determined that it would be most likely Kyoya's POV for starters and that it would probably take place when he's 22~ and deal with the changes that would naturally occur to his friendships and his plans for succession.

After that, I tried to figure out what would be, as she put it, in the same spirit of Ouran. Ouran is a shoujo, a romantic school comedy, a reverse harem-- none of which are really...viable for a Kyoya spin-off about him trying to be named his father's successor.

BUT. Ouran is also a "girl of the week" (woobie of the week I think TV Tropes calls it) kind of deal. Early on especially, before the plot becomes sequential, chapters/episodes are often self-contained episodics where the Host Club band together to solve the misfortunes of some girl usually, boy occasionally. SO. If the spin-off was about matchmaking- something that, as homosexual side character wingmen, Kyoya and Kaoru both dabble in- then theoretically you could end up with a girl of the week situation that is true to the original spirit of Ouran without them needing to be teenagers in a Host Club.

So I envisioned the spin-off as some kind of pilot situation where Kaoru ropes Kyoya into matchmaking some girl Hikaru has a failed date with into a relationship with the real love of her life, who probably just so happens to be some guy Kyoya's trying to do business with so it all works out in the end...and then girls keep showing up like drowned cats and Kaoru is boooooored and Kyoya is perhaps slightly down for hijinks if it's of some benefit to him. And from there on, it develops into a love story, develops into Kaoru having to matchmake Kyoya or matchmake girls away from Kyoya, and eventually into a plotline with Kyoya's father with regards to his plans for succession.

And then I said "Jesus Christ, I'm not writing an entire manga. That's insane." And wrote Okay, Cupid! instead.

But I started with Chapter 9 <3

❤️"what are your favorite scenes from your WIPs?"

It's kind of hard to say, because I'm always so so so psyched for a scene right up until the moment I publish it and then it's like it just goes from my brain. So I probably answer something different every time for this!

But from scenes I've already published, I think my current favourite is a toss up between Kyoya and Kaoru's fight in Ch.9 and their talk on the balcony in C. 5 (which I refer to fondly as their you wear fine things well scene lmao)

12 notes · View notes

year2000electronics · 1 year ago

Note

OHENSBNDMDNG okokokok let me tell you a story. While thinking back on brozone's flashback at the start of band together, my mind fell on grandma Rosie Puff, and how I've come to be really intrigued in her. How did she end up having to raise all of brozone on her own? Where the hell are their parents? But most importantly, how can we make one of the only other character traits of hers that have not much to do with brozone have some sort of hidden lore to it? I'm talking about the scene where she shows to be very very enthusiastic and serious about rummy, and supposedly other gambling games.

And for a while I've been SUCKIJG AND CHEWING on that crumb of bread. LITERALLY.

What could this mean for the world of trolls? Does gambling exist within singular troll genre clans? Orrrrr is there some sort of clandestine gambling world going on outside of the old troll tree where trolls of all different backgrounds and obscured pasts come together to gamble together? What the hell am I on?

But anyway! That thought never really went anywhere. It just stood in my mind. But I had no idea what to do with it.

And then.... Your trolls Royal Flush au came out of NOWHERE.

I've only just started reading the Google doc and I've gotten past the adaptation of brozone's fallout and, I just gotta say that I really appreciate you giving Rosiepuff a whole lot more autonomy and control over a bad situation. Instead of just staying in one place, where she barely made any huge life decisions that affected Branch (other than sacrificing herself) and having a very vague picture of what kind of person she was, this single paragraph in your Google doc about what she and branch did after brozone disbanded has done A WHOLE TON OF HEAVY LIFTING TO CHARACTERIZE HER THAT I REALLY, REALLY HOLD DEAR.

How she probably became a beam of hope to little baby branch after realizing his brothers are never coming back.

How her bold decision to completely change her and branch's life for a better future, makes her a strong, determined, and confident person.

How... She must've been the ONLY PERSON in Branch's life he could still rely on at that point.

Its just... I've known this lady for a single paragraph but her death just means so much more, and HURTS so much more. Dying in the place she used to thrive in.

SUDDENLY THIS BEAM OF HOPE, THAT WAS THE MAIN SOURCE OF BRANCH'S STRENGTH was taken away from him. So suddenly. So unexpectedly.

I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF

Sorry I went on and on about a character who had one paragraph dedicated to her.

But she also got one paragraph

So therefore she's worth talking about.

In trolls one, we're supposed to care about Grandma Rosiepuff's death because of her assumed importance to Branch without really knowing ANYTHING about her.

But in this AU, you just painted such a clear image of her, we knew her for one paragraph but we also realized she's all that Branch had for a good portion of his lonely childhood. So much more than just one scene of her being taken by a berger, than just one paragraph.

Just!!!!!!!!!! I'm happy I'm really happy with what you did with Rosiepuff. Slay in peace, sweetheart.

BUT NOT JUST THAT-

THIS ENTIRE AU'S WORLD BUILDING.... Is really really thorough!!!!! Like!!!!! It's so well done!!!!! I loved the introduction to the world at the start of the Google doc, AND I LOVED HOW YOU INCORPORATED THIS WORLD BUILDING FOR ROSIEPUFF'S BACKSTORY.

AGHJHHHH I NEED TO CONTINUE READING

Thank you if you went this far!!!!! You deserve roses for all the amazing work you have ever put out into this world big or small, I'm excited to see where this goes.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

THANK YOU SO MUCH AAA!! yeah i knew that if i was doing a big casino au i couldnt NOT give grandma rosiepuff some connection to it i mean come ON!! i think thats generally a big overarching theme of how the city of luxgoode takes advantage of vulnerable people and like, taunting them as if risk can make their dreams come true. people will ruin their own lives if they can save the ones they love, even for some of the casino owners (gristle and creek obvi but i think even chaz is a lower rung in this system, it goes up to the 1% mount rageons, especially and mostly v&v's parents)

i also just. love the idea of brozone sharing traits w their grandma. jd may have pulled a lot of the weight but she did raise them too!

#mothra answers #trolls #royal flush au #my art #TY FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS THEY MADE ME SMILE

61 notes · View notes

cookiecomicinc · 19 days ago

Text

My Lost CRK Story

Ever so recently, I was looking through some old Google Docs I had and found a storyline I have made for Gingerbrave roughly a year after I joined CRK community (so think late 2022). I looked over the document trying to remember when I wrote it and what the plot of the story was about. I also looked through the version history and saw that I altered and continued it until three months after the Odyssey Update. This was also during the time I was dipping my toes back onto story writing again after stepping back from it for no really good reason other than simply losing interest in it. I also apparently had several personal notes scattered in parts of the story to remind me where I got that idea for a certain detail for concept which is something I still do. I would include these notes as well. I read through the document since younger me didn't think it was necessary to write a summary or anything similar and here's what the story was about from what I read.

One last thing, if you're not of fan Gingerbrave or his character, that's completely fine and understandable. That's your opinion and I respect that. But please come to this post and tell me I was wasting my time writing a story around "that boring, annoying excuse for a main character cookie". I don't want to hear. This was for entertainment and boredom and nothing else.

The current story follows Gingerbrave some time after the latest Odyssey update with Gingerbrave back at the Cookie Run Kingdom (that's what I called it back then and now since putting in my own kingdom's name weird me out for whatever reason). Per usual, Gingerbrave is going around the kingdom making sure everyone is happy and safe. Planning festivals and events that makes everyone happy while also looking over some construction that is needing to be done (based around the CRK Insta post of Ginger and some sugar nomes working on the CRK castle). Despite the kingdom not having a declared king, Gingerbrave tends to take on the role of king more often than he thinks. While he doesn't believe that personally and considers what he does as cookie wanting to help, the responsibility he takes on does takes it toll on him.

He's been working even extra hard since the war is become more and more present and the protection of his friends in his greatest concern. After a particular rough day of running the kingdom, Gingerbrave decided to take a simple night stroll through the forest and let off a bit of steam (He isn't afraid of the dark forest since he ventures there often to expand the kingdom. In game logic.). He was stressed. He knows that, despite not wanting to admit it since worrying his friends is the last thing he wants. He had so much to do and wanted everyone to be happy, which sometimes leads to him neglecting his own peace. Which he surprisingly doesn't show.

However, this simple stroll take a very dangerous turn since he takes a wrong step off a cliff and takes a hard tumble. When he did stop falling, he was in pretty bad shape. Cracks in some areas and bruising in other (Despite his feats, getting caught off guard can result in some bad injuries). This was the worse Ginger has ever been injured, even in his battles with antagonist he faced.

He tried to slowly make his way back to kingdom but with a injured body within a barely visible forest, the only thing he did was put himself deeper into danger. Hurting so badly that he eventually passes out from the pain.

When Gingerbrave finally wakes up, he's in an very familiar setting in an unfamiliar situation. At some point or another, Ginger was found by witch that was passing by collecting Queen of the Nights (A type of night blooming flower). This character's names is Lasolyn (La-So-Lin) who's name was later changes Eos.

Eos is witch that appeared to be in her early 30s despite being in silhouette mostly (Apparently I based this character off a blasian Pinterest design which I cannot find.)

Much like many other witches, Eos is baker who uses magical ingredients in her bake goods. However, she does agree with the whole idea of making living cookies just to eat them. It's actually very disturbing for her (Referring to the origin of DE and what WL found out). Her magical ingredients are meant to enhance the experience, not creating life to eat.

She nursed Gingerbrave back to health, and altered his appearance a bit to do so (Yes I do have the drawing of this redesign.).

The rest next part of the document is about how everyone started to notice that Gingerbrave wasn't around and were getting worried. So, Crunchy Chip, Caramel Arrow, Black Raisin, and Wildberry sets off to find him while Eos is becoming like a mother/therapist figure to Ginger as he sorts out his head.

I'm still debating rather or not I want to continue this story. Let me know of anyone wants to see more or wants to see the character designs.

PEACE!

#cookie run kingdom #cookie run au #cookie run oc #crk #original story #original character #gingerbrave crk #yes this story is centered around gingerbrave. deal with it

7 notes · View notes

eebeewrites · 2 months ago

Note

Hi, I saw a post about that trend going on where the bf picks up there partner and put them on there shoulder and thought of Ronan. Than I thought of tali doing it til i remembered he’s probably not really strong (my thoughts kinda I think it’s been said he has a some muscle?). Than I also remembered that trend where these skinny bfs were picking up there chubby/fat partners and even spinning with them and now I can’t stop imagining tali doing that.

One day he just gets really excited about something, picks me up spinning around and runs away(happily stimming around the house cuz same) than he comes back to me and I’m just stood there shocked. He asks what’s wrong and I just tell him he picked me up like i weight basically nothing. He either wouldn’t register that he doesn’t look like the type to be able to or he’s shocked he was able to as well.

(Also horny thought cuz of fucking course. Tali or Ronan casually picks us up and fucks us against a wall cuz he doesn’t wanna wait til the bed or couch and the floors uncomfy. Or after blowing him he just picks us and puts us on the bed like a feather. I have more but ima calm tf down before I turn feral for these fictional men, more)

~⭐️ anon (who definitely doesn’t love being picked up)

oh this is good soup

I will never forget the first time I was picked up by someone as a plus size gal. It was truly a magical experience :D

Ronan is def one of my stronger oc's, he wouldn't have any issues. Tali on the other hand is definitely the weakest. However, keep in mind all my other oc's are warlocks and warriors and mafia bosses and Tali is just. some guy. So he's not weak in general, just the weakest. Either way, they can all pick you up with relative ease.

'but if you're'- shh. shhhhhhhhhhh. they can pick you up. because i said so.

I think Ronan would bridal carry reader a lot. I don't have an explanation why, I just think he would. Maybe something to do with domesticity, unsure.

Taleisin absolute would pick you up when he gets excited. I feel like he also gives very, very tight hugs. I have a one-shot ask I'm working on abt reader getting cuteness aggression for Tali, but TBH I think Tali would absolutely just want to squeeze the heck out of reader.

On the subject of stimming, something my boyfriend does is he like. Plays with my ass. Not in a sexual way, but just...squishing it or wiggling it. I think Tali would do the same thing; bro be stimmin.

On the horny thoughts;

I've been meaning to write something like that for awhile. unrelated, but I have a google doc of just horny one-shots of characters in my main novel. like when i get writer's block for that, i just write two of them fuckin, and it usually solves the issue. But I wrote a scene where one lifted her up and fucked her against the wall, and it was so fucking hot. Will need to integrate that...

I wanna write more public sex scenes in general, so that could def be implemented there. At the end of the day, Taleisin is the Elvish equivalent of a nineteen year old boy; he's horny as fuck. I can absolutely see him and reader slipping away somewhere in public for a quick fuck.

With the way Ronan's story is going, I think the same would happen, albeit for different reasons. I think reader is going to get a bit more involved with mafia stuff, and that's going to lead to some interesting situations for sure ;D

#ask answered #eebeeyaps #⭐️ anon #taleisin #ronan

8 notes · View notes

archivalofsins · 6 months ago

Note

As someone who has experienced both The Caligula Effect and Milgram, which Milgram characters do you consider most likely to be in the Go-Home Club and Musicians respectively?

Hm, this is a really difficult question...

Mostly because Milgram and the Caligula Effect franchise are different on very fundamental levels.

So, here's the short answer no spoilers or long explainations-

Musicians: Haruka, Shidou, Mahiru, Amane, Kotoko. Go Home Club: Yuno, Futa, Mu, Kazui, Mikoto.

As a bonus-

Aria: Jackalope μ (Mu)/Regret: Es

Long post with a lot of reasoning and other stuff beneath. Spoilers for the Caligula Effect games under the cut.

Now why is this difficult?

This is because Caligula Effect has a focus on rehabilitation and bettering oneself from their past experiences. As well as a focus on building better communication skills all while meeting people where they’re at and looking at one’s own actions more objectively.

While on the other hand Yamanaka has gone on record stating that Milgram isn’t about rehabilitation not only within the text itself but outside of it.

Amane's First Voice Drama

Don't make me laugh. I'm not your teacher at school; it isn't my goal to teach you things or guide you on the right path.

This can be taken as a bit of cheeky nod towards Caligula Effect something Amane's voice actress also worked in. Since that takes place within a school setting. It is still highlighting this is not that though.

Highlighting that once again guidance, learning from one's mistakes, and receiving the proper help to thrive is completely antithetical to Milgram's goals. Something that many people who have played Caligula Effect would recognize Yamanaka understands very well and is capable of portraying that sort of character growth in ways while still not always correct are far more kinder and encouraging of progress than Milgram will ever be.

Because this is Milgram; it's not about the characters finding closure or becoming better versions of themselves. It's about sin and judgment- Crime and punishment. Sinners and executioners. This is reiterated in the first novel to an extent as well.

Outside of that canon statement- Yamanka stated on the Milgram App early into the series that there are no connections between Milgram and Caligula Effect,

Source: Maristelina (MILGRAM Timeline Master Document)

It's a completely new world.

Side note it is very fun seeing the creator comments within that doc. My favorite of trial two these several for personal reasons- I will be analyzing these forever actually.

Really like how Deco just points out "I wanted to be loved like a cat" perfectly embodies Kazui's character. I love how with the discussion of Purge March it's the second time a prisoners ideology has been referred to so bluntly. The third one is just like yeah tell me the obvious one more time baby!

Also the way Deco highlights paying attention to the tone in It's Not My Fault is just really good too-

Like,

"Listen closely to the subtle inflections in the vocals."

This is something that has also been discussed when it comes to the musician covers of the their songs in Caligula Effect Overdose. It is something showcased very well in Stork's self-cover of Lovescope. Using him as the example here because he shares a voice actor with Shidou and I need to spread the cursed knowledge.

So, fans of Caligula Effect do have an unfair advantage when it comes to Milgram because they'd be more used to how Yamanaka and to an extent Deco create a narrative through the use of music.

Also these may be my favorites but all of the comments regarding the songs on the app are very informative and I would recommend giving them a look over if anyone has the time.

This is just turning into advertising this Google Doc at this point. Go read it. It's great and informative. I really like it. It's well put together and easy and sift through. Plus have multiple translations to compare and contrast allow me to get a clearer idea of the situation as someone who's always had an issue with comprehending text.

But back on track- Yamanaka told the Milgram audience from the beginning that these two franchises had nothing to do with one another. This may have been done in attempt to avoid others falling victim to the assumption that Milgram would handle these topics in similar ways to Caligula Effect.

However, a writer’s creations will always hold their own unique touch within them. Something that can give people a glimpse into how the creator presents a topic or what topics a creator may enjoy putting a spotlight on. Something that may not only be pertinent to one of their works but others as well.

Attentive observers may very will become acutely aware of a creators style and creative habits over time. The audience’s ability to do this with a creators work is ultimately what creates a fandom around those works. It may very well do the opposite at times too. Since at times people will understand the point that a creator is trying to make through their creation agree or disagree with that point and still hate the execution.

Or even that the point was illustrated at all depending on the viewers subjective biases.

In the old,

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink."

way.

So, regardless of how unrelated to Milgram Deco's and Yamanaka's past works are. They'll always be related through the fact that they share creators alone despite what the creators have to say on the matter. That's just one of the pitfalls of creating a lot of things in general there are bound to be comparisons of those things.

For example like the way Hao wound up being compared to Salamander.

Things like this are going to happen. Comparisons of ones creations with their other ones or even to the works of others are going to continue to occur even if someone tries to get ahead of it which Yamanaka did that was him getting ahead of it.

Even still comparisons are things people commonly make as well as how many individuals engage with and analyze the information in front of them. So, yes regardless of how often one says certain things are not related to each other if they are in close proximity to one another connections will wind up being made. People are going to be able to relate it back to something said creator made in the past or even works completely unrelated to the creator that predate or succeed the work being compared.

However, it still matters and is a indisputable fact that these things are completely unrelated to one another and treating them as they could be would stop people from enjoying Milgram in the way it was intended to be enjoed.

It's still fun to think about despite that. I do believe it is important to note that the this is not the intended viewing experience. Like one of the creators bluntly stated so.

Just as Yamanaka also stated many of times that the cover songs have nothing to do with the story. They just pick whatever best suits the character or would be fun.

Source: Yamanaka's Marshmallow

Other fun things of note,

Either way, the prisoners covering these songs have nothing to do with their murders. It's a fun fanservice kind of like special tailored karaoke.

Yuno didn't decide to do what she did one day simply because she went and sung Vampire. This is a given no one is saying that's what occurred here. Yet, it's still fun to delve into what this says about the prisoners character in the same way people think,

"Hm I wonder what my favorite song says about me." It's just a neat thing.

No one's saying,

"Oh, because so and so covered this that means this is their crime."

However, once these songs have been related to the characters and franchise in some way people are going to want to think about why. Especially since Milgram is a series that's prone to having bursts of content and then none for long stretches of time.

Discussing the covers is just another way to lengthen the discussions fans can have around the series during said downtime.

Observable writing quirks/tendencies.

It's the same with discussing the Caligula Effect series.

Because the more one knows about Caligula Effect the easier it becomes to see the similarities between the characters within it and the ones within Milgram. Even if at times those similarities can be incredibly surface level.

Like got damn Yamanaka how many times are you going to create characters that are cops?

I don't care if Kazui may be lying about everything it's still like three times at most and two at best my guy. There's only two Caligula Games- In both someone is a cop. We're two for two. That's already two too many. If there's a third game chances are high there will be another cop.

Like at that point it's a bit of writing pattern despite how unrelated these things are. I'm just gonna throw that out there.

That's not even touching on both series using Es within their naming conventions. Caligula Effect taking place in Metaverse-Es and the prisoner guards within Milgram being referred to as Es. Both stories relying on music when it comes to displaying the mentalities of certain characters.

Given all of those points, it's a little unsurprising Caligula Effect would have characters on both sides of its cast that would be reminiscent of the prisoners in some way to those familiar with Milgram.

For example Shogo displays his regret similarly to how Kazui does. Something that leads me to speculate that to an extent the suicide framing of his sin is a projection of Shogo's storyline onto Kazui's character. Since that's a part of his narrative.

So, when I run into the idea of any of the prisoners murders not being direct murders that are a consequence of their mentalities and choices. Something that Jackalope blatantly tells the viewer,

"The fact of having committed murder in their lives is a direct result from the thoughts each espoused and their individual environments."

Yet, instead their murders are indirect deaths or suicides caused through negligence/just their everyday mannerisms. As well as when the prisoners situations are presented as very abstract themes that wouldn't count as murder unless someone had a very serious issue with conflating minor inconveniences to extreme grievances.

I just want to do some equivalent of this-

Because that's just these games really. I even went as far as to describe Caligula Effect as the Barney version of Milgram to a friend. It's like babies first interaction with cruelty and the concept of people being assholes.

It's never really as extreme as Milgram can get except when it comes to Overdose exclusive characters. Still all the games manage to get the point across. This is why I find it very easy to find comparisons between the prisoners and the Caligula cast.

The easiest characters to make comparisons to off the top of my head being #QP and Mahiru. A more difficult to catch one in my opinion would be the similarities between Machina and Shidou- Since from what I have heard Shidou tends to be compared to Doktor more so.

I believe this is because like with Kazui it's really easy to compare the prisoners to other characters they seem to share a profession with. It just gives a good jumping off point to work from.

I tend to lean more towards comparing him to Machina because both his first glitched voice line and Triage put on full display to me that his first run in with death may have been the death of his family members later in life. So much later in fact that he couldn't even fully understand what he was having people reckon with until it happened to him. The fact that Shidou is like this from the start ultimately leaves an avenue for Kotoko's stance to have some credibility regardless off if she was found Guilty from the jump or not.

Since Shidou is a walking example of how sometimes the only way for certain people to learn that what they're doing is wrong is by experiencing it for themselves.

"[cackling] Not dead... Yeah, she's definitely not dead... I finally understand the value of what I've been robbing people of."

This comparisons can wind up lead to relating Shidou to Sasara a member of the Go Home Club who's heavily associated if not thematically paired with Machina. Someone else who despite being the eldest in 2 is just now coming to terms to death as she has to come to terms with the end of her life. Very similarly to Shidou she doesn't really grasp it before this because she didn't really have to face it head on in this way before and thought very little of it.

It's not as though she has any regrets either. Her life is fine. In fact the only reason she's here is because she just wanted to live her life over. Not because she regretted anything in particular it was just so good she wanted to do it again.

In contrast Machina has been reckoning with the concept of death from a far younger age. It's implied that he quite recently lost a family member to it and has been stricken with a fear of death since that incident. Wishing to become a cyborg in order to avoid it and not being able to reckon with the fact with every breath taken we all move ever closer to our own inevitable demise.

His song having choice Shidou esque lines such as-

"I wished for those days to remain idyllic. I wished for the power to protect them. Even if it costs me everything I have."

And the remix starting with the repeated spiraling line of-

"I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it. I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it. I can't stand it, I can't stand it- I can't stand it what a tragedy it is to be doomed to death at birth."

While the regular version begins with,

"Once you draw your last remaining breath even memories you have clung to will scatter into ash. As I realize what a curse a beating heart is the mourners gather and laugh at a hollow coffin."

Machina is at the most of middle school age. This kid was just going through it. Don't believe me here's what the game said on it outside of the song,

In his first year of middle school, his grandmother passed, profoundly impacting his views on mortality.

Machina was not particularly close with his grandmother. Though she spoiled him as a child, he began talking to her less and less as he grew into an adolescent. She passed soon thereafter, marking the first time an immediate relative had died.

Machina became so afraid of death that he couldn't even breath without being in mortal terror of his own inevitable decay at the hands of death itself.

As he continued to study death, he learned about a structure in human cells known as "telomeres."

Telomeres are shortened every time a cell divides. Once they fall below a critical limit, new cells can no longer form, spelling death.

In other words, even just the mere act of existence marches one toward an inexorable end.

It's a simple fact, really. No matter how meaningfully one lives, how happy they are, or how carefully they avoid harm and injury, as long as their cells continue to divide, they too will die. Upon realizing that human life was but a one-way ticket with a final destination, Machina fell into the depths of despair.

Though he knew it was a fool's errand, he would hold his breath and try to stay in bed, living life with as little activity as possible in hopes it would keep death at bay, if even slightly.

He stopped going to school, and was beset by panic attacks each night.

I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

The answer for Machina was,

No, it's not.

Because to breath is to die a million small deaths as your cells divide as though counting down to the end of your lifespan. Like a cursed hourglass full of cells instead of sand.

Which wouldn't be applicable to any other thing ever actually,

Nope not one thing this can be applied to.

A times it's pretty easy to draw comparisons between these two series. Even outside of the fact both creators Milgram worked on these games. Deco making the song Love Scope for Stork in Caligula Effect Overdose.

Whether the character the prisoners are compared to is a musician or a Go Home Club member matters very little. This is because within Caligula the Go Home Club Members and the Musicians generally parallel each other in some ways anyhow. So comparing a prisoners to any of them will inevitably lead to comparing them to someone else in the series.

Plus, the cast in Caligula tends to be visually paired off in a way that helps that stand out more. As well as in ways that most Milgram fans would be familiar with. Such as youngest and oldest which is the case with Sasara and Machina.

However, Milgram fans should be familiar with this since it’s used again in Milgram with Kazui and Amane.

In Caligula Effect Yamanaka uses the juxtaposition of these characters ages to discuss the concept and fear of death. Something that does wonders as it highlights how someone at the end of their life displays their fear of death by trying to rush towards it as though that gives them anymore control over it occurring while someone younger will try to avoid it even if that avoidance hinders them from truly living.

In either case the fear is still there and very real. If not incredibly debilitating in some or most ways.

Due to the nature of Caligula Effect where there are no wrong parties only wrongs being done.

Don't get me wrong there are some objectively in the wrong parties within the narrative. In fact every character here is objectively wrong at some point. I believe some people like to trick themselves into believing the characters in Caligula Effect Overdose were the worst of them and the ones in two are so much better actually.

Yet, the ones within two are also terrible. They're just tentatively politically correct while being terrible.

Which is a very superficial way to define if someone is a bad person. On top of that they don't remain politically correct at all times either.

Everyone's Bad Here

Firstly this series is named Caligula Effect. The Caligula Effect is a term used in Japan to describe the desire to do something that is forbidden or socially unacceptable.

Source: Den Faminico Gamer interview with The Caligula Effect producer Takuya Yamanaka (The DigiLab)

Given that it should be no surprise that none of the behaviors or mannerisms displayed in either of these games are meant to be viewed a admirable or healthy. The character discussed in this answer is from Caligula Effect Overdose though.

So let's turn it back to the second games cast real quick. Remember how in the previous segment I stated they don't remain politically correct. Well that's because some of them are really ableist which I've never seen discussed outside of Doktor. I definitely believe it should be because like one of the Go Home Club members is ableist too.

Just blatantly. So, like actually...

This character literally tells the player yeah killing someone is better than letting them live with a possible physical disability. Like just blatantly agrees with Doktor. I guess they get a pass because internalized ableism is a thing though. Even if it's internalized it's still fucking ableism. I mean just because someone points it at themselves too doesn't make them better than any other fucking ableist- But okay.

This is the space to work on yourself this isn't about crime and punishment. This isn't about sin.

You know for me personally- if it's between using a mobility aid and being in the fucking ground... Um, ya know my pride ain't high enough to think the latter is better and more respectable. Call me ignorant but I'd rather be alive with some difficulties than dead.

This isn't the worst thing characters in Caligula Effect have done by the way.

Some of them are murderers too. Not just one of them multiple of them are murderers and attempted murderers. Yet, if we stay here all day talking about what murderers in the Caligula Effect series are forgivable in the eyes of the audience and which are not- I’m gonna end up writing a tangent that’s devolves into Marie is basically Eiji but a girl, more impoverished (Eiji was born into a finacially well off family his father was a lawyer with a law firm), different diagnosis (Eiji's issue is labeled as Psychopathy and Marie's Sociopathy in Caligula Effect Overdose) didn’t get kidnapped (had abusive family instead barring her grandma who was not abusive canonically), and happened to get a redemption arc (because she wasn't killed by a Final Destination style rube goldberg machine of shenanigans out of the clear blue fucking sky that wound up saving the life of another character that fell off a twenty story building).

I feel like I have the right to be mad actually.

Oh while also not having ableism imposed upon her characterization in a way that demonized and vilified her. She got hit with the we need to put you out off your misery ableism not the we need to spare ourselves from the misery of knowing people like you exist ableism. So, we're going to frame this as though there's something uniquely evil and fucked up about you actually and everyone else here is super normal. In fact some of them could tell you were evil just from the look in your eyes. You had the eyes of a snake not a normal person.

Oh, but it gets worse.

Marie canonically killed multiple people, abducted others, locked the first Go Home Club in a room for three days at a point only giving them cough drops before giving them drugged food-

Star here! Something to be noted; when this first happened, Gunsli enjoyed Marie doing this-

Gunsli : That is true when this first happened this was fine I very much enjoyed it. I was all for it really. That was before listening to people defend or outright ignore the things she did because,

"She was always really good deep down. I always knew it! Because I'm a great judge of character and I could never like an evil fictional character because what would that say about me? My fragile ego wouldn't be able to take it. I'd be crushed and it would be the works fault for tricking me. So she needs to be good because that's the only way for me to know I'm good."

Look past your ego it's really never that deep.

Liking an evil character- A fictional construct is fine as long as that like is not negatively impacting reality. Put the mirror down. Sometimes a character being bad and a person liking said character anyway doesn't reflect on that person at all unless they make it reflect on them which is their choice to.

Also, like... No she wasn't clearly good deep down, no one saw that ahead of time, most fans didn't even play these games in order. Or read the light novel where it basically states people saying your past doesn't matter are ignorant.

Back to the other things she did not that we've touched on that light novel- Attempted to push the one person who trusted her down a flight of stairs, framed another person that trusted her misleading their friends into believing they had betrayed them. Ruined countless friendships for her personal enjoyment in and outside of Mobius. She was doing that like she was trying to win the gold in shit starting. Marie was in that bitch like this when it came to instigating.

While Eiji, to the stories own admission, never kills anyone with his with his own hands. Now hold on before you start thinking what the hell- Eiji Biwasaka is still a terrible person too. He believes there's no way men and women can just be friends (wink-wink , nudge- nudge he texts this to the protagonist by the way). Is heavily implied to be in love with the protagonist in subtle ways like many characters in the series are. This isn't a crime just fun to note because if the protagonist takes the betray route and he's there he is genuinely upset. How do I know this?

I kept him alive because I wanted to see his reaction when I did it. Moving forward.

He's mostly upset that the protagonist didn't let him in on it which is funny and fair. Then genuinely enraged by the betrayal and is like you have to die now for pulling one over on him. Which again aww you- stay mad about it. He gets egregiously upset at the protagonist trying to get to know him on a deeper level and is acutely angered by criticism or being told what to do in any capacity.

Literally any form consequence for his actions he does not take kindly.

He tries to attack Kuchinashi. Almost hitting her with his catharsis weapon which is a whip. Similar to what a character within two does to one of the musicians but seemingly gets no flack for it. Like, um, well- Ya know that character is not Eiji. Certainly the character is still great in their own ways but got damn Eiji Biwasaka was something else. That man was trash. Absolute garbage and I am dumpster diving. You got me fucked up if you think I wasn't there for it.

It was amazing. He did not wanna change. He was never going to change. He leaves because he didn't want to change.

He literally removes himself from the narrative and team because the protagonist tries to hold him accountable. Then still somehow manages to get where the plot is. Because he was that competent. Certainly he had to die in a Final Destination esque way nothing else could've killed him. Unimportant side note here he's trying to murder someone within Mobius. Even though that person is a terrible piece of shit he is still trying to kill them.

Not because they're terrible but because leaving them alive may end up causing him trouble in the long run.

This is because he blackmailed this other party into killing someone that was taking Eiji to court for embezzling from the elderly (the mother of the man taking him to court) and the disabled (not the mother he had just been embezzling for a while). He did this even though everything for the case was gathered and he'd be facing prison time regardless. He just did that shit as a fuck you on the way out because he could. It did not serve him in any way.

How did he blackmail this guy well by bringing up his insanity plea was in fact bullshit and he could hypothetically have this man retried or that plea brought under scrutiny. Because as I mentioned before this man was acquitted and then continued to do the same shit. So, don't get it twisted Eiji and Marie are no better or worse than each other.

However, in contrast to Marie who is indulged throughout all of the first game or you can't even continue her character story Eiji is actively stopped from killing this guy. A guy who physically assaulted a person in an underground idol group with a baseball bat blinding her.

Something that led to her suicide later.

Which might I note! Eiji is blamed for that suicide not the guy who fucking did the assault! No, not him. Eiji's blamed for her suicide because he did his job as a lawyer and got this guy acquitted on a plea of insanity. Then to add insult to injury the guy who did the assault then still behaves in a way that showcases he will continue to be this way and do those things again to other idols.

Is given that same excuse again like,

"No, he's clearly mentally unwell."

Okay he's clearly mentally unwell- Eiji should have known better though. He's just evil. He doesn't need help fuck that guy!

Oh, Marie do you need a hand? Do need a special little safe space in Mobius to work out all your issues. Here you go μ (Mu) giftwrapped it for you too sweetie. You want brand new adoptive parents- Don't worry that's included take all the time you need!

The difference between how I treat my angelic daughter versus my rat bastard son.

The difference in writing does show Yamanaka's development as a scenario writer and personal growth when it comes to portraying these issues. However it is literally the difference between night and day.

Also both of these people are Go Home Club members.

I think I may have failed to mention that before. I just really wanted people to grasp the severity of their actions before I mentioned it really. These are your teammates. The people you're trying to get home with.

Other things done by teammates include but aren't limited too,

Fatphobia, transphobia, doxing, harassment, sexual harassment, negligence resulting in death, child abandonment/neglect, assault, cyber terrorism (which the protagonist of one can take part in), classism, sexism (misandry), identity theft, insurgency, stalking, false imprisonment, murder, attempted murder, generally be hateful spiteful people with the strongest hater energy on earth at times, literally being musicians before Go Home Club Members (which isn't a crime but counts towards the point here and occurred twice).

Marie, however, is essentially is given dissociative identity disorder by virtue of a new set of memories being created for her- ones separated from her trauma and it's subsequent effects. She also, as mentioned in this post, was given a pocket dimension so she could have the space and time to grow independently from that trauma.

This pocket dimension is a smaller subsect of Mobius and relies on Marie's existence within it to function.

It is also possible to get an alternative ending of and get out of this micro-mobius earlier by killing her. This is one of the endings I decided to get. So, from here we know that the protagonists of the Caligula Effect games can commit murder, commit cyber terrorism that ends up destroying the entire world at most and on the smallest scale Japan if the player choses to, betray all of their teammates that they make over the course of the game very similarly to what Marie does in one.

So, once again- I'm not faulting the grind I'm just stating the crimes.

All in order to make it clear to anyone reading this much that no one here is a good person. So it does not matter if some prisoners are Go Home Club members or musicians being on or the other does not make any prisoner better or worse. Everyone here is bad.

Go Home Club or Musician

Okay, so I bet some are wondering why I said all that. I must admit it was a very long way of getting to this point. However, I basically wanted to make it abundantly clear to anyone who comes across this that whether a character is Musician or part of the Go Home Club in Caligula Effect it does not equate to them being a good person.

Because the characters in Caligula Effect are not good people. They're not and they aren't meant to be.

The characters within the Caligula Effect series are individuals that have a lot of work to do on themselves. Who are in Mobius either by choice or due to the fact that they were suffering in reality/had regrets that they felt they could not change in the real world. They are all individuals who chose escapism over facing their issues head on and the series discusses the benefits and shortcomings of living that way.

Most if not all of them wound up in Mobius due to someone's misguided attempt in trying to help them.

I felt it was necessary to highlight hey the Go Home Club doesn't equal the heroes and the Musicians don't equate to the villains. They are just two groups in opposition of each other. There are people just as bad if not worse in both teams.

The only thing that decides whether someone will be in the Go Home Club or a Musician is their desire to go home.

If the character wants to go home or has doubts about Mobius in general they will fall into the Go Home Club category. If the character wants to stay in Mobius and believes full heartedly they can gain something from it even if they only plan to do that and then leave- That's a musician.

The musicians turned Go Home Club Members literally only become that later because they genuinely do want to go home and face those issues head on despite their doubts. This is one of the things that make it pretty clear that Caligula Effect is more so about rehabilitation and the many forms that can take.

So as much as I'd like to go this is who I'd like to be Musician's and Go Home Club members. The answer that I provided at the beginning of this is firmly rooted within this logic. Since we can see where the characters lie in regards to this based on how they engage with Milgram itself.

The characters have gone on record voicing their misgivings about Milgram or the fact that they are in favor of it. Some even going as far as blatantly stating that they want to go home or never want to leave.

Something that made this a lot easier to figure out once I looked at it from that angle. At least when it comes to answer this in a way that works off of Caligula Effect's own logic to some degree. This is why I highlighted that musicians do become go home club members.

Because it shows the possibility of switching between the two parties at ones discretion. Something the series plays around with itself in many ways.

So let's start with the Go Home Club prisoners. (And heads up, this section is being written up by @sinfulequity o/. Also as a heads up, I used Rochi's translations for the portal timelines and questionings!)

Yuno

Now Yuno starts off not minding being here. But even from the beginning, you can tell that she doesn't consider staying here permanently as an option

Es: [clears throat] It’s about the few days you’ve been tried as a prisoner by Milgram. Frankly speaking, how is it? Your life in prison. Yuno: Hmm, it’s surprisingly fun? I do have worries about how my family is doing, but… It’s kinda like one of those strange, personal experiences. Es: Fun…is it? Yuno: That’s right. The other prisoners are all entertaining, we sound each other out on various things, and the vibe’s pretty nice as well. In such conditions, observing other people sure does make for great fun, you feel?

Due to the atmosphere, she is enjoying herself- but that changes in the interim between trial one and trial two alluded to in this portal timeline.

21/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday) Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me? Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~ Mu: How mean… Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself. Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother………so was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?

By the time the second trial has started, whatever fun she gained from being in milgram has vanished. Only leaving her with the desire to get out of there. Even going so far as to question Es if they really believe that this environment is enjoyable any more.

Yuno: Well, if I were to say what I’m trying to say…it’s fucking bothersome. Es: … Yuno: I said so at the start, didn’t I? That punishing people outside of the law is boundless. And so I had no interest in Milgram. Es: Yes, I remember. You said that you would pay my judgment no mind and remain as you were. Yuno: Oh! That’s right! I’m happy you remembered. But, you know, I didn’t exactly hate it, Milgram. It’s nothing but weird people but it was warmer than my day-to-day life. Es: It did appear as though you were having fun. Yuno: Yes, it was fun! They may be murderers, but they’re interesting people! It puts me at ease, in a way, that we’re all people lacking in something. Es: You are saying that that changed and it’s my fault? Yuno: Yep! This situation’s bothersome-ness has won out over the fun so I am extremely cooled off. That is all. Es: … Yuno: And? Are you satisfied with this situation? Es: You all are murderers. In order to clarify your sins, this job is necessary. Milgram will make clear your essences and truths- Yuno: That. Does it not hold up unless you desperately repeat it back to yourself?

This is further explored in her answers for the second trial questioning. Outright stating that she's bored and wants to leave and passive aggressively implying that Milgram doesn't really have a true purpose, since the law already exists.

Q.03 Do you want to leave Milgram? Yuno: To be honest I’m bored of it now. I kinda want to leave already Q.19 Would you forgive the other prisoners? Yuno: That’s not something for one person to decide on their own Isn’t that what we have laws for?

It's a bit reminiscent of how she treats Mu now, right?

Futa

Most of his first voice drama is about wanting to get out of Milgram. If it isn't about that, then it's him getting flustered over how Es is pushing him. But here are a few specific moments

Es: What’s wrong? Are you so paralysed with fear that you can’t even stand up? Futa: Don’t mock me! Anyways, I won’t even accept that I’m a prisoner. Bringing me to this weird-ass place is a violation of my human rights! Es: You won’t accept that you’re a prisoner—is that so? Futa: Of course I won’t! You’re confining and imprisoning an innocent human being here! That makes you so much more of a fucking criminal, doesn’t it? All of the other guys have just obediently accepted it for some reason, but you won’t fool me!

Futa: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Don’t go around evaluating people like you’re better than everyone else. Once I get outta here, I’m so gonna sue this place! You as well! You better not be thinking that you’ll get off scot-free! Es: Hmm~? Futa: I’ll never forgive you bad guys. And, this place is called Milgram—I’ll crush it down as well!

After the interim and trial two's start, this desire to get out of Milgram has strengthened. For the reasons of being harassed by intrusive thoughts and taking a walloping from Kotoko.

Futa: Right…! It wasn’t just me alone who was ganging up on the person who died! There’s no way to know whose comments lead to their death! Es: That might be true. You might not be the only one who needs to be judged for this. But… Futa: Then – isn’t it weird that I’m the only one who has to go through all of this? Being locked up in a weird nonsensical prison, having to let some brat lecture me, being faced with eyes constantly judging me… And even if– even if the person I was picking on online died… I didn’t think they would die! I just thought that wrong things are wrong, and that a crime is a crime! You get that, don’t you? See? Aren’t we the same?

As he himself states, he finds it odd that he was the only person picked out of a large group to be in Milgram. He doesn't want to be here, he doesn't find this fair and he's at the limit of his sanity.

Mu is a tricky one, because you would think that she wants to stay here (outside of the initial anxiety in trial one)

Es: Hm… So that’s the case, is it? How’s life in Milgram then? Mu: I can’t even begin to describe it. I just want to hurry up and go back home! Es: Oh? Why is that? You lot are given a decent amount of freedom here. We’re granting you the few indulgences which exist as well. In fact, even you’ve sent in a request asking for a crepe cake as well. Mu: That’s… That’s true, but… And, I did eat the crepe cake, but… I just really wanna go home. Es: Hm. Mu: I’m sure that mummy and daddy are worried about me! [cries again] What even is this place? Why did you even have to bring me here?

Mu: Yeah, it is. Prison guard, you’re human as well, so… I’ll do my best. I’ll figure out what kinda person you’re fond of. Even though you’re a sad case who talks to rabbits. [giggles] Es: That’s enough. Our conversations don’t have any flow to them, so that’s not gonna happen. Mu: I’ll definitely return home. I’ll return home to mummy and daddy. So, if I get you to forgive me, I’ll be able to go back home for sure, right? Es: I don’t really know. Mu: Yeah… Actually… If I think about it, compared to those good-for-nothing police trying to catch me—someone who’s definitely not in the wrong—Milgram might just be better for me.

As we all can see, she states that maybe Milgram would be a better place for her to stay. At least in comparison to the prospect of being arrested and tried by the police. However, that is a coercive line of thinking, in and of itself. It's like being between a rock and a hard place. Furthermore, it implies that were the police not an issue, she'd immediately want to go back home again. And despite how comfortable she has gotten, Mu shows a good deal of concern towards how her parents are doing/worrying about her.

20/06/17 Shidou: ……do you mind if we talk? It seems you’ve relaxed a bit more recently, Kusunoki-kun. Mu: Eh…… yeah, definitely compared to the start…… just a bit. But I’m still scared…… we still don’t know what they might do to us. I want to go home soon…… I wonder what’s happening there…… Papa and Mama must be really worried…… Shidou: That’s good…… You were crying so much, so I was concerned for you.……yeah, I’m sure. Your family will definitely be worrying about you. I…… hope you can go back soon. Mu: Shidou-san…… did you come here to comfort me……? I’m sorry, I’d thought you were…… a scary person…… fufu.

03 - “It was really scary at the beginning, but now it’s nice and laid-back. And also… Haruka-kun is really nice! He’ll listen to anything I tell him.” 05 - “I’ve been starting to think that maybe I’d like to stay here forever… The outside world only ever does bad things to me. Though, I’d be a bit sad that I wouldn’t get to see papa and mama again…”

Mu: Ah, it’s been a while, Warden-san. – Things have gotten tough, haven’t they… Everyone seems to be struggling and the whole atmosphere feels tense because everyone’s struggling, it’s really troublesome. Es: Is that so? Mu: But as for me, I think Milgram has become a lot more comfortable! I know now that I can get whatever I want if I ask for it, so I don’t need to be so on edge anymore. Es: … Mu: You did say that you and Milgram are our allies, and maybe you were right all along!

She's ultimately carved a place for herself in Milgram. However, she also won't let the "setting" of Milgram affect how she considers herself.

Mu: Anyway… I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe too. Ah, actually, couldn’t you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won’t run amok, and you won’t have to think about all the difficult stuff. Es: That is… a very attractive proposal. Mu: Right? (giggles) Es: Abandoning all the thinking… How nice it would be if I could just do that. Mu: … If you ask me, I don’t really get why you don’t do it… Es: Because this is the role I’m playing. Mu: But the role was given to you, wasn’t it? You didn’t end up doing this because you wanted to, right? It’s not a dream you’ve had for a long time or anything, right, Warden-san? So there’s no need to let it tie you down. Couldn’t you just quit? Es: What are you… Mu: Warden-san, we call you “Warden” because that’s what you are, right? I was assigned to be a prisoner, but that doesn’t mean my heart will become just that of a “prisoner” too. After all, I’m still me.

Kazui

Funny- for someone who said he's going to take a wait and see approach, he comes straight out of the gate about his intent to find a way out to Es

Kazui: Really – sorry, sorry! I really had no intention of causing you harm, Warden-kun. I was simply looking to safely gather some information and assess the situation in this prison a little better. Es: Huh? Kazui: You see, depending on who they are, once someone is here it might be impossible for them to break out. I'm the oldest here, so naturally, I should be the one testing how far we can go against you.

He goes on to explain in his first questioning that he does have concerns about Milgram but doesn't want to express them.

Q.20 Do you have any complaints about your imprisonment? Kazui: I mean I do have some. But y’know, there’s some things about it that are so far removed from daily life. It’s easier to just not think too hard about it.

Progressing to trial two, Kazui is now disappointed in Milgram. It gave such high expectations for itself, and how it could judge crimes deemed fine by the law and-

Kazui: I haven’t forgiven myself… even if my lies are forgiven, it won’t resonate [with me]. It might just be both of these. All the lies I’ve told are tying me down. Ever since I was little, I’ve never truly opened myself to anyone. But in the end, people can’t be saved if they don’t [open up]. And by now, it’s gotten to a point where I can’t do it by myself anymore… (machinery whirrs, bell rings) Kazui: I did think Milgram would be able to force its way past that, though. Es: Is that an attempt at provocation? Kazui: You didn’t manage to reach my sin. Es: … Kazui: Even though I want you to… Milgram isn’t so great after all, is it?

-it really is better to be a let down, than let down, huh.

Mikoto

He has also stated from the start that he didn't want to be here. He has a job after all! He has rent to pay, obligations to meet- are you going to take care of it guard? You better, you know~

Es: Your name and age? Mikoto: Uh… Mikoto Kayano, 23. Wait, no! I’ve been wanting to talk to you this whole time, Warden-kun! Es: What is it? Make it short. Mikoto: Alright… when is this whole thing going to end? Es: Hah? Mikoto: No, it’s obvious, isn’t it?! Suddenly being dragged to a place like this, being told all this weird stuff about killers and all that– is this some kind of comedy? A reality TV show? One of those monitoring things? I’ve been holding on to that thought this whole time, and that was also the reason I tried to get along with the others, y'know – because that’ll look better on a TV show, right?! – but look, this is stretching out for way too long…! What’s up with this? Es: (sigh) You really still believe that? That Milgram is some kind of joke? Mikoto: I do! Of course I do! I mean… I really don’t remember anything of note. Even if you talk about sins or murderers– I don’t know about any of that! I’m just a normal worker at a company…

Mikoto: What’s with that?! Then aren’t you getting ahead of yourself, just labelling me a murderer like that? Es: I’m not. Milgram tells me that you did it. That’s enough for me. Mikoto: Why are you just blindly believing that? There’s no way of getting through to you…! (sigh) Anyway. I really don’t know anything! Nor have I killed anybody, or done anything bad! I was just living an ordinary, everyday life… and yet I got dragged into something this weird! (slams hands on the desk) Of course I want to think of all this as a joke…! Wouldn’t anyone? Es: (non-committal hum) Mikoto: I have my own life, you know? And I just got accepted into the company that I was aiming for… If I get fired, you’ll have to take responsibility for that.

Oh? What's that guard? He's being blamed for something he hasn't even done? For shame, for shame! Do you know how much this will hurt an innocent- no, an honest man?

04 - “It’s just so much that I don’t understand. Honestly. Why do I have to face this kind of fate…? I can’t do this.”

Mikoto: Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end, right? I’m pretty good at that. Making things work out to the best of my abilities. Es: Is that so… Mikoto: (laughs) …But… it’s not coming to an end. All of this. With things I’ve never even heard before, the whole ti— Es: … Mikoto: —the whole time… I have to make all these irritating experiences…!

He is stressed. He is reaching his limit. Can't you let off just a little? Isn't it unfair to punish someone for dreaming?

Es: In precise terms, it’s called dissociative identity disorder. Generally speaking, it refers to when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created to try and isolate the original personality from the resulting trauma. Mikoto: Yeah. I… probably come out to ease the stress Boku experiences. The fact that I come out for longer just means that Boku is constantly under extreme stress. Es: Stress… Namely the environment of Milgram, right? Mikoto: Right. Especially the fact that you judged against forgiving Boku is causing a lot of stress. That’s why he’s entrusting me with his heart.

Es: Even if it was you, John, who was in your body at the time – there’s no way for you to prove that. At the very least not in a way that would be accepted in court. It could still be judged that you’re pretending— Mikoto: You…!! What do you think? Es: I…? Mikoto: I’m the one who did it! Boku didn’t do it! You know that because of Milgram! I don’t care about the law, I want to know what you think!

Don't worry; he'll forgive you if you choose right- right?

And now for the Musician prisoners.

Haruka

This shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone who's noticed, but he holds Milgram in high regard. It's the first place he's felt fully accepted. He's also started to learn how to connect with people in here- something he felt he always had difficulty with before

Es: I’m the prison guard. That just now is how I’ll educate you prisoners. I’m allowed to do so. [grabs Haruka] Got that? Listen carefully, prisoner number one. I’ll say it any number of times. I’m the prison guard. Understanding your true nature is my job. No matter what you are or whatever nasty work you’ve done, I’ll see all of it. Making judgments is my job. To say something like that… “You’ll be abandoned”? Don’t take me so lightly. Until I know your sins and complete my judgement as to whether they’re forgivable or unforgivable, you’re objects for me to govern(2) Don’t think I’ll let you escape. Haruka: Prison guard… Es: Wait a second, Haruka. What are you smirking for? Haruka: Ah, I’m sorry. It must be creepy, right? Es: It does creep me out. [throws Haruka] Haruka: Ah, you’ve got it wrong… This is a strange thing to say, but it made me a bit happy. Es: Happy? Haruka: Yeah. Es: What an odd thing to say, even if I’m the one saying that. Being imprisoned, being restrained, even being interrogated like this too, isn’t it natural to get angry in these kinds of situations? Hm… Now you mention it, you were always like that from the beginning. There’s a gloominess about you, but you’re immune to the chaos of Milgram itself. The point is, reacting like Futa and Mu would have made more sense. Haruka: That’s right. Futa got really angry. Scary—Ah, no, I mean, this is Milgram, isn’t it? I don’t really know what it’s for. But, having you, the prison guard, take some interest in me, listening to the various things I say… For some reason, it made me happy and such. Es: Hm.. Haruka: Even if that is your job. Even if it’s just to reveal the wrong things I’ve done.

Q.12 Tell us your hobby. Haruka: I like talking with the other prisoners Q.22 What do you think of the prison outfits? Haruka: They’re kind of relaxing Q.23 Is there anything you’d like to have sent to you there? Haruka: Not particularly Q.25 When you get out of here, where do you want to go? Haruka: I can’t think of anywhere

As Milgram continued to progress, Haruka gains more confidence. And has grown more comfortable in Milgram as a result. He states that he likes himself now. He doesn't want to leave this environment that has been so accommodating to him.

Es: You… Are you really Haruka Sakurai? Haruka: Eh? Wh-what are you saying? It is me! But everyone has been telling me that recently – that I’ve changed. Es: Yeah. When I think back to how you were trembling in fear back during the first trial… you sure have gotten bolder. Haruka: (giggles) Es: I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing though… Haruka: (laughs) If I’ve changed, then I’m glad! Up until now, I’ve always really hated myself, that’s why… Es: Hm? Haruka: A-ah, I think the reason I’ve become like this is because I had two benefactors, and one of them is you, Warden-san, so– Es: Huh? Haruka: I wanted to thank you, Warden-san! Es: Thank me? Haruka: Because you forgave me, Warden-san!

Q.01 Do you love yourself? Haruka: I think I like myself now Q.03 Do you want to leave Milgram? Haruka: I want to stay here forever Q.18 Which of the other prisoners is most like you? Haruka: Nobody They’re all amazing people

Well- maybe that'll change with this new verdict? Who's to say.

Shidou

Shidou wants one thing out of Milgram, and it's disgusting a death sentence. Preferably stamped and signed by a child (like Es).

Es: You sure are composed, aren’t you? Shido: That’s just my personality. I just simply don’t think bad of it—this place, I mean. Es: You mean, Milgram? Shido: Yeah, this place will put me to death. Es: What? Shido: I might not get a golden opportunity like this again, so I’ll get straight to the point. Es… You decide how the prisoners will be dealt with, right? Es: Yeah. That’s right. Shido: The death penalty is what I’m hoping for. Thank you in advance.

However, with the ongoing events in Milgram, his viewpoint has become conflicted. He still wants to die, but he doesn't want others to. However, he's the closest thing to medical help that they have so he can't die just yet.

Shidou: Es-kun. I’ve killed a lot of people. Like I previously told you in the interrogation, I’ve killed for scientific reasons as well. So… Es: Are you about to beg me not to forgive you again? Even though I’ve already told you it’s no use? Shidou: That’s right. Please don’t forgive me… is what I would like to ask. Es: … Shidou: I… “I don’t want to be forgiven”. That feeling of mine remains the same. I need to be punished. I need to atone for my sins. I don’t think Milgram is in the right, but…! There is no better place than this to atone for my crimes. But… as long as Milgram continues like this… we won’t be able to save those who get injured if I don’t get forgiven!

Shidou: … That won’t do… I mustn’t be forgiven. Otherwise… the countless lives I’ve taken will never be paid back. Es: Heh. If you’re really trying to give your life as compensation for the people you’ve killed, then there’s no reason to stay alive that will hold up, anyway.

Mahiru

It's not quite an intrinsic desire to stay in Milgram specifically. But what kind of girl wouldn't love a heart pounding adventure~? The mystery, the thrill- it's enough to make your heart burst!

Mahiru: [giggles] Just then, it felt like I was waiting for my date to arrive. Kinda made my heart flutter. Es: I’m not exactly one to talk, but… I’m surprised that you can say such a thing despite being in this prison. Mahiru: Really~? But, this unfamiliar setting makes things super romantic, you know? Thanks to it, every day has been such a delight.

20/06/10 Futa: Hey, why are you acting so carefree all the time? You’re the oldest of the girls here, you should act it and deal with the others properly. Mahiru: Eh~? I’m acting carefree~? But maybe you’re right. I mean, I…… ah, let’s make this a quiz. Hey, Futa-kun. What do you think I like doing? Tick, tick, tick, tick…… Futa: Ahh, what even is this mood you’ve started. It’s annoying. Just tell me the answer already. Mahiru: Bzzt! Time’s up! The correct answer is “travelling” and “exciting things”~ You don’t get many chances at a lifestyle as exciting as this, right? So of course I’m going to be a bit carefree, ufufu~

She may have endured a lot of pain in the interim period between trial one and two, but that doesn't stop her from enjoying Milgram and the people in it! It just means that she thinks her way of loving is unforgivable now.

05 - “Spending my time at Milgram, I’ve really grown to love everyone here. I love you as well, Es-kun! But… me loving people can’t be forgiven, right…?”

Hey, tell her; what isn't she doing right?

Amane

Amane is very aware that Milgram isn't normal. But neither was her upbringing, so maybe she'll fit right in here? Maybe she'll fit in so much that the religion that she adheres to will fit like a glove. And if not... then that just makes this yet another trial from god, right?

Es: Geez… You’re quite something for your age. Even most adults would be at least a bit anxious in an environment like this. Amane: Eh? It’s not scary at all. After all, God is there to protect me! Es: In that aspect, you really are a child… Amane: Of course this is a rather unusual experience, but I am aware that it is something like a trial. I am certain that, once I have overcome this, I will be able to achieve further personal growth once more.

Amane: Hm. You may say it’s wrong, but isn’t what you are doing here a crime as well? Well, I do have something more important to me than the general law, so I will not try to judge(/look down on) you either, Warden-san. Es: Geez, you’re so stubborn– Amane: You see! I don’t hate Milgram, either. Rather than one single law, there are other standards to judge my sins by. And those are closer to my spirit, as well! Es: Hmm. Amane: The standards that judge my sins are somewhere else – in my heart, my blood, my entire body, they are firmly rooted in all those places! Es: And within those standards, your murder was not a sin? Amane: Exactly! Es: I see. Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

Q.20 Do you have any complaints about your imprisonment? Amane: No, since this is a trial set for me by God.

Of course, being rejected and having those voices in her head between trial one and two wasn't helpful. But she's willing to talk this out. You've talked before and Amane is a kind girl, willing to give chances.

Amane: Warden. Es: What is it, Prisoner? Amane: We’ve been disappointed by you. Es: Hah? Amane: Even though we could sense the possibility of the new world we desire here in Milgram… and in you. Es: I don’t care how much you look down on me. I told you that won’t work. Amane: Furthermore, you may say incomprehensible things, such as us “not being forgiven”… Es: Oi. Amane: But we are generous. For now, let us make some time for a conversation with you. After all, our history is one that is built on dialogue.

Es: Shut your mouth…! I am the one casting the judgements here! Amane: Hehehe. And how does that set you apart from us? Es: … I told you to shut up… Listen to what I’m telling you. Amane: Hehe… This is nice. If the world you’re striving for is admirable in my eyes… That is to say…

Even to the sinners that deny her.

Kotoko

Kotoko has never really hid the fact that she wants to co-operate with Milgram- with Es. As someone who wants to work outside of the law, a place like Milgram is almost too good to be true.

Kotoko: Don’t space out, the interrogation isn't over. Es: A-ahh.. yeah. Kotoko: Eh, well, if you're done with it anyway, then it’s not a problem. Guard-san. No… Es. Don’t you want to join forces with me? I think the two of us would make good partners. Es: Join.. forces with you? Kotoko: With you, in the role of a prison guard, with information you gather from the interrogations, and me, in the role of a prisoner, with information I gather from my daily life here… Working together and sharing our findings. What do you think? Es: Stop joking around. Kotoko: Why? I think it’s quite a good bargain. Look, you can view the incident with Kayano Mikoto as a free trial-

Kotoko: Heh. I want to be like you. I refuse to tolerate sin. Es: You won't tolerate sin? Kotoko: Yes. I despise evil. Hurting the innocent through violence, taking away from others, killing people… I can’t stand it! There are too many cases of the law being unable to deliver a verdict to sinning. Just by exploiting the loopholes in the law, the sinners who have tortured and bullied the weak can still live out their lives unpunished! I want to change this world, but I alone only have so much power. Es: Kotoko… Kotoko: To be honest, I don't know your true intentions. And I don't know if you are a similar person to me with similar thoughts. In the end, I could be deluding myself with wishful thinking. Even still, this place has multiple methods of deducing good and evil. To me, MILGRAM’s very nature has a kind of charm to it. How about it? Do you understand me as a person now?

Q.01 Who exactly are you? Kotoko: Yuzuriha Kotoko The person who plans on becoming your fangs. Well, that all depends on you though.

21/10/26 (Kotoko’s First Trial) Kotoko: ……come, Es. Let’s fight together.

After having her mindset validated, Kotoko decided to take up her end of her proposed deal in full force. Force being the key word here. She is ready and willing to go at a moments notice (or even without one). Aren't you happy to have such a loyal partner? Hmm? She's acting like if she could take the power you hold at any time, she would?

02 - “Heh. As expected, you wanted us to work together, huh? I’ll be answering to your resolve and your expectations. With all the strength I have.” 03 - “I gave the prisoners that you didn’t forgive what they deserved. Going along with Milgram’s system, I didn’t go all-out yet. I figured you’d need some more time to think about it too. …What’s with that face?” 04 - “I did tell you to follow your intuition and that I’d leave things to you, but you’re really going easy on them. I think I would’ve forgiven less people. Hmph, if only I was the warden [in this place]… Well, no ill feelings, I guess.”

... That's probably just your imagination~ Well, it is what it is. After all, she knows just how taxing this much responsibility is on Es' poor little shoulders... Don't worry. She'll take that burden on.

Kotoko: I know it well. It’s so hard to hold the responsibility of a guard all alone. I’ve also felt this way. You are such a kind person. You can’t stand the prison changing with the power of your choices. So you need someone to be with. Leave all of the dirty work to me. Es: I’m… a kind person? Kotoko: Does your head hurt anymore? Don’t worry. Leave it to me, and together we’ll be able to create the right MILGRAM. Es: I see… that MILGRAM...

Just make sure not to betray her, or go back on your word- okay? It's like Futa said. If you get off now, you're a traitor~

Anyways, I hope this was a fun read! It was fun discussing this and I hope the logic tracked for why every prisoner was put in each group!

#milgram #caligula effect

11 notes · View notes