#going to kill himself after it and he had no plans
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Marriage?
Kento x reader
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
"Darling, why does this alien keep following me?"
"Huh? Ohh!!...Kento, sweetheart... that's called a creeper. It's following you 'cause it wants to explode near you and kill you."
You recently taught you're boyfriend, Kento Nanami, how to play minecraft...and surprisingly, he's doing wonderful. In a span of 3 days, he created a garden, a pool and a bakery in creative mode. And yesterday, he's tried survival mode for the first time.
"Well, that's not very polite. I even shared my meat with him..."
"You did?"
"Yes..."
"Pfff-"
"Did I say something funny, love?"
It's day 2 of your sweet boyfriend trying to maneuver his way in survival mode. He's doing terrific, hasn't died yet! He managed to build up on his food and inventory. And you told him countless times to build atleast a tiny house in order to protect him at night, but he keeps saying that he'll do it later because he has to prepare a looootttt.
"Kento, baby... creepers aren't interested in meat or making friends. They're simply there to explode and kill those around them"
"Oh. Well, then I guess I should run away from him."
"Yup, you definitely should."
He wouldn't even let you peak at his device! He'd be playing in the corner, like a weird teenager.
"How ya holding up? Can I please see what you're doing, baby?" You emphasize the word "please", hoping that Nanami would give in. But, he wouldn't even look at your puppy eyes!!
"No, sweetheart. I told you I'll show you when I'm done."
"Tsk. What are you even planning?" You pout, bouncing your legs on his lap, foot poking at his side.
He grabs your foot and places it on his lap again. He's playing minecraft on one hand, while the other massages your feet! What a man, indeed.
"It's a secret" He says in a singong tone, leaning over to grab the remote on the coffee table and peck your lips.
"Here, baby. Why don't you distract your pretty eyes with some television entertainment, and I'll get back to you with my finished work. Sound good, hmm? "
"okay... "
How were supposed to counter that when he kissed you so lovingly and whispered to you so softly?
A few hours had gone by. A variety show piqued your interest , however, you were more enamoured by the way you're boyfriend was so focused on his device. You could see the determination in his eyes.
He would also ask you random questions like "would you prefer wooden or tiled floors?" or "what colors would you like to see in a place?" And you would always answer quickly because you've been anticipating him, and the way he would hum in thought, then kiss you as a "thank you. "
You guessed he was finally building a himself a house.
But you were wrong.
He was building you and him a home.
He proudly and nervously handed you his phone, telling you to explore his carefully crafted house.
"I'm finished, love. Take a look at our house. I built it for us. This and so much more will be our life when we get married."
You were quite impressed, considering he built it in survival mode and for his first time doing so.
"Our house? Married? Marriage?"
It's an understatement to say that you were "flustered". You were red, stuttery, fidgety and baffled.
You did not expect him to bring that up. You've only been dating for a year. But don't get it wrong, you truly love Nanami, it's just that you didn't expect him to feel so strongly towards you to already consider marriage after only a year of dating!?
He chuckled. His deep, beautiful voice that reverberated through your heart.
"Yes, yn. Marriage. I-I'm not proposing to you right now! I'm just reminding you how much I love you, and that I'm more than ready to spend my lifetime with you."
He holds caresses your hands, eyes maintaining gentle, loving contact.
"I love you, Kento. Thank you, darling."
He leans in closer to kiss you. But you interrupt him midway. You whisper.
"Soooo, when are you going to propose?"
"Soon. In a beautiful place I know you'll like, with delicious food, a calming ambience, and just the two of there to experience it. "
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Kento Nanami, you're boyfriend of one year, builds you a house in minecraft to profess his love for you and confess that he's ready to upgrade to husband mode.
#fypツ#kento nanami#nanami x reader#nanami kento#kento fluff#kento x reader#jjk kento#kento x y/n#jjk fluff#jjk nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanami jjk#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#nanami kento x y/n#nanami kento x reader
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the one with Pobol y cwm
sirius black x reader ! - 1,091 words masterlist bags masterlist A/N: HAPPY BDAY SIRIUS BLACK MY BELOVED- SURPRISE UPDATE IN HONOR OF HIM TODAY- oh dear pls dont look at this too in detail i am very sick and exhausted but i wanted to put something out for his bday...
Sirius had never been a crier. Yet as his nimble fingers dug into the soft material of your sweater, and his body shook with sobs— it became clear to you that he had just been holding it in.
He hadn’t said much after he walked through his door, red-eyed and ready to crumble.
But you knew.
You had always been this way. Just knowing, him. Knowing somehow, what he was thinking, what he was feeling. You could tell, most of the time anyway.
You knew he felt sorry, and you knew he felt frustratingly heartbroken. Angry and furious, but deeply blue. The little boy inside of him had lost his mother, and there was nothing he could say to himself that would make it better.
Because through all her faults, her disgusting vile words, and even worse behavior. Through her hexes and unforgivable curses, through every bit of torture that Walburga had subjected Sirius through, it was still his mother.
She would always be his mother.
Disowned or not, abuser or not, the owner of his nightmares, the person he hated most. Nothing could ever erase the fact that for at least the first sixteen years of his life, she had been his mother, and in a way, in a deeply hurtful, and grief-ridden way, she would always be.
So he cried. For the mother he had until age ten, for the mother he had been subjected to until sixteen, for the mother he never had in the first place.
It didn’t matter how many times Sirius told himself to not cry over her, it didn’t matter that he truly hated her. It didn’t matter he once had half a mind to kill her himself. He realized that he’d never get the good relationship he had always secretly wanted. As long as she was alive, even though Sirius would rather die himself than admit it, the stupidest goddamn part of him was still holding on to that chance.
He had never realized he was still clutching onto that.
Until the chance got ripped away.
So you sat, with his face buried in your stomach as he kneeled in front of his bed, in front of you. Sobbing. His arms around your torso and clutching at the material of your jumper with white-hot fists.
You didn't know what else to do besides hug him back, trying not to cry. Your hands pet his hair, strong and steady, because you knew that was what he needed the most right now.
Your reliability, your care, your unconditional love for him.
And you did, love him that is.
From the bottom of your heart, you loved Sirius Orion Black.
Even if you hadn’t talked in weeks, even if you felt like a ghost in the house, even if you had been planning your move out no less than thirty minutes ago in a fit of anxious desperation.
“I’m sorry Sirius” you didn’t think he heard you over his earth-shattering sobs, but he shook his head slightly, almost as if wanting to say no, don’t be. “I am sorry, I know she was horrid-”
“I hate her-” his words were hoarse and raw, he didn’t look up. “I still hate her, I need her to wake up so I can tell her- god I can’t tell her-” You could feel his words reverberating through his throat,
“I hate her so much, I hoped she’d die in some- in some disgusting gruesome death, I just-” he took a deep breath, his breath ragged and shaky “I hoped it would be something ironic and karmic like getting hit by a muggle bus but that goddamn bitch had the audacity to go in peace- in her sleep no less merlin- I- I- just keep hoping that I’m dreaming and that she’s… there and rotting alive in that awful house”
“I’m sorry-”
His voice was calmer now, still buried in your sweater, still embracing you. “I hate her and I am glad she’s dead, she doesn’t deserve to be alive and well after everything she put me and my brother through- but the stupidest part of me- is still mourning”
He loosened his hold on you, and he slumped between your legs, his face now only half-buried in your torso. You could see the red splotches that had bloomed on his porcelain skin.
“I don't know what I feel any more love, I feel out of control”
“I know”
“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you”
“I’m sorry too-”
“Please don’t leave me… don’t leave me alone”
“I don’t think I could leave even if I wanted to Sirius- not that I do… don’t worry-” Your fingers carded through his hair “I will always be here”
“I’m sorry-”
“You don’t have to apologize- we can talk about that later… do you want to go for a walk?”
He lifted his head up slightly, enough to steal glances of your face as he wiped his face with his fingers.
“Can we just watch Pobol y cwm-” his voice was low and gloomy, it broke your heart.
“Yeah, we can watch Pobol…” You tried smiling at him, it was a sad one, but he mirrored it nonetheless. It was hard not to get emotional while seeing him this way.
Shattered and somber.
Irrevocably burdened with the knowledge that while yes he mourned his mother, just some idolized version of her he buried deep within the confines of his mind— he would never get justice either.
Sirius Black was relieved, he realized, as he laid his head on your shoulder and watched the advertisements on TV. His abuser was dead, it was more than he could ask for. Yes, he’d have to talk to you eventually, tell you how he feels, even simply explain why he got so upset. He’d have to write to his brother and not repeat the cycle of anger that was embedded deep within their veins. He’d eventually have to face his father. He’d have to face the fact that he, did indeed, have grief over the death of Walburga.
But all of that could wait for tonight, he had you right now.
With your arm around him, tucking his much larger form into your side, with his legs over your thighs and Pobol y cwm playing in the back. The soft of your sweater, and the sweet soft scent of your hair, the warmth from your hand drawing circles on his back. It was all that mattered right now.
It was just you and Pobol y cwm.
taglist ; @thatlittlered @giuli-in-earth
let me know if you wanna be added ! or if i missed you
#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#the marauders era#marauders#the marauders#marauders era#padfoot#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black x reader#sirius angst#sirius black series#sirius o black#sirius#sirius black#sirius orion black#padfoot x reader#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#padfoot x you#sirius black x you#sirius x reader#sirius black drabble#sirius black angst#sirius black x y/n#sirius x you#sirius x y/n
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See, the wild cards are NOT unbalanced. I reject that notion very very strongly. It's complete nonsense to me. If anything, the wild cards have so far all been extraordinarily fair and not biased towards players with any particular skillset. What is causing a massive difference in lives between players in something else entirely.
To start with, the first one? Obviously not biased to any particular skill.
The hunger? What, you're going to argue some players are better at eating than others? Better at resource management, maybe, but with the edible food changing at random all the time, I really don't see how anyone's skills gave them a leg up. Skill is a factor in surviving mobs, not the wild card: if anything, players with less skill could have used the various food-given buffs to their advantage in a fight with good planning.
The snails? There's no skill required to survive them. Nobody died from lack of skill. No particular fighting or parkour ability was needed to escape them.
So why is there such a drastic difference between players' ability to survive? It all comes down to their individual personalities, and how each of them tackles an unexpected problem being presented to them. Some of them panic, others remain calm. Many make the lethal mistake of trying to beat the wild card instead of using it, and that's when they die.
Many of the deaths in the third session happened because players were trying to find a way to trap or destroy the snails, instead of accepting and embracing the mechanic like they should. Once the initial shock wears off, it becomes abundantly clear that the wild cards are intended to be tools.
The size-changing had incredible potential in PVP and resource gathering, but it was just an intro: just a simple mechanic that was easy and quick to get a grasp of.
The food one gave players practically infinite options for making the game easier for themselves. You can fly. You can get all sorts of buffs. Grian himself even gives away the game when he tries to rally Mumbo and Skizz to use the various buffs for mining; that was probably his original intention for how the wild card should be used. Grian deliberately used this session for resource gathering; in fact, I'd say the second wild card encouraged players to gather as many resources as possible in the early game, because you don't know what will be useful on the next reroll (or for future wild cards).
The snails provided new ways to steal lives from players without engaging in pvp; that's why Grian immediately states killing via snail is allowed and encouraged, and even reveals he has his own ideas of how players should go about it. It's clearly part of why the drowning mechanic exists as well; you could drown another player's snail, or force them into having to save their snail from drowning and then dying to it, like what happened to BDubs.
However, some players, such as Tango and Impulse, are naturally the type to try and beat an unbeatable mechanic, and got hyper focused on experimenting to find ways to permanently beat their own snails, and became easy prey. You can't beat the wild card, but they couldn't help but try because that's who they are.
Meanwhile, some players think just as inventively, but from the opposite direction: rather than just wonder how to beat the mechanic, they think about how they can use it to their advantage: Etho (and Martyn) got closest to Grian's intention of the snails essentially being used as assassins. If anything, Etho's invisibility plan improved upon Grian's original vision. They still died due to being occasionally caught off guard, but fared better than those that got stuck on trying to get rid of the snails.
Lizzie, Cleo, Scott, Gem and Joel (and BigB, after his initial ambush death) of course all survived their snails by adapting to the wild card. The difference between them and Etho and Martyn is their lack of risk taking; while Etho and Martyn went running around in the Nether for assassination supplies, all of the still dark greens played really, really safe.
Meanwhile, some players, such as Skizz, Scar, and Jimmy, played it very unsafe, but failed to take advantage of how the snails were meant to be used, even when Grian was trying to spell it out for them, and struggled because of it.
TLDR: the wild cards are weapons and should be treated as such. Trying to circumvent them is what is killing the players so fast, not any inherent imbalance in the cards themselves. Every single one of the players* has equal opportunity to use the cards to their own advantage. It's just a question of whether someone will.
*besides Grian, who is not trying to win anyway
Most importantly, I’m glad the lifers are having fun, and Wild Life has been a blast so far.
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I... I think I know what's going on.
Theory: Nexus ain't dead. We're all still playing Dark Sun's game!
(Nexus fans, you're gonna love this. I know I am)
Okay, so, in today's episode, we see Moon travels to another dimension cause of a dimensional anomaly and sees a Sun bashing his Moon's skull in. Moon is obviously startled and horrified by this, and after a little investigation, Moon finds out something is wrong in the multiverse, apparently in 36% of the multiverse a bunch of Suns have started to kill their Moons.
Why? How? What caused this? What triggered it? Suns just don't start randomly murdering Moons...
I think we may have an answer...
Nexus isn't really gone. Dark Sun is still pulling the strings.
Okay, so, remember this episode?
In this episode, Dark Sun asks Nexus' permission and full trust to do something. Now we never found out what this something was until now, I think.
Dark Sun also mentioned in this episode or a different one he says that Nexus wouldn't have the same body forever. I thought he meant like he'd make Nexus a new body to contain his negative star power, but no. He just meant Nexus wouldn't have the same body... he never said he'd make him a new one.
In this episode...
Dark Sun briefly mentions to Sun that whoever he chooses to kill, he will exsponge the data of them so they couldn't come back... this means Dark Sun has access to Moon and Nexus' code... he has their code. Hmmmm....
Plus, Dark Sun did have access to Ruin a.k.a, a guy who had been exposed and probably knows how to make the Ruin virus...
Nexus isn't gone. He's just not in our world anymore. He's in EVERY WORLD NOW!
When Sun killed Nexus, that's what Dark Sun wanted. He didn't want Moon to die. That wouldn't benefit him. He needed Nexus to die to complete his plan. Dark Sun has access to Nexus' code and Ruin, a guy who knows an awful lot about the Ruin virus he probably knows how to make it, too.
Dark Sun wanted Sun to kill Nexus, so Nexus would die and become pure code, Dark Sun could then spread Nexus around the multiverse like a virus and cause other Moon's to go rouge and become Nexuses which would cause other Suns to kill their Moons and become like Dark Sun in a sense.
Dark Sun did say he did all this for Sun and probably every other Sun.
Dark Sun is trying to prove to all Suns that all Moons are bad and that they're better off without them. But of course, in the grand scheme of the multiverse, not EVERY Moon can be bad, so Dark Sun and Nexus MADE them bad.
Dark Sun is trying to create more hims cause he does view himself as the Superior Sun, the Sun that grew up, the Sun that grew a spine, the Sun that fought back!
Dark Sun views himself as a sort of savior of Suns, and in his twisted mind, he's trying to save the other Suns from being used and abused by their Moons. He's trying to prove his point that all Moons are bad, but since not every Moon is bad, he had to make them bad to prove his point. (Which kind of defeats his point, but I digress)
Dark Sun is trying to do this to save the other Suns! By ruining the other Moons!
Tl;Dr Nexus isn't dead and is now pure code, and Dark Sun is having him go around the multiverse, turning all Moon's into Nexuses to prove his point that all Moons are bad and make more Suns like himself.
But hey, that's just a theory...
A TSAMS THEORY!
#sun and moon show#tsams#tsams sun#tsams moon#tsams theory#tsams theories#tsams nexus#tsams dark sun#tsams new moon#tsams new moon/nexus#tsams ruin#nexus may not be dead!#Dark Sun is an evil genius!#what is your plan dark sun?#but hey thats just a theory#A TSAMS THEORY!#THANKS FOR READING!#tsbs theories#tsbs theory#hey tsams fandom!!!
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Thinking about the "trilion and 12 years old" joke about Bill and thinking about his psychological development after the Euclydia massacre
In the show, we see that while he can plan ahead and manipulate people, he's often foiled by his own impulsiveness/anger/emotions. His ultimate goal is to escape the Nightmare Realm/Dimension 0. And sure, he says this is because he promised the Henchmaniacs he'd help them, but ultimately as others have pointed out, Bill is terrified of death. He wants to live forever - have "a party that never ends with a host who never dies". All he cares about is himself, his own survival and hedonism
All this to say, Bill has the emotional development of a teen. He hasn't gotten past the self-centredness nor the reward/adrenaline seeking behaviour, but has emotionally evolved enough to be able to manipulate people and such (and be able to feel guilt, even if it's just a picogram). Though his immaturity shows when he doesn't get his way.
One might think that, being a trillion years old, he would've developed a bit, but here's the thing - major traumas can "freeze" people at certain developmental stages. We don't know how old Bill was when Euclydia was destroyed - though considering his behaviour I would bet he was a teen.
(Or whatever the equivalent of that stage is for his species. They have exoskeletons- do they have instars then? Whatever, that's not on the topic of this post)
Seeing his entire dimension destroyed after (what was probably) a well-intentioned attempt to show them what he saw ("They'll see. They'll all see.") permanently emotionally stunted him. However it was he got his powers, he was a teen/young adult with powerful abilities who had just erased an entire dimension from existence and was now accountable to no one but himself while also being deeply traumatized. His constant partying and implied substance use were probably the only coping mechanisms he could think of, dissociating because he has no idea how to actually confront what happened. The way he talks about the massacre - he detaches himself from it yet still admits guilt ("A monster."). Only post-divorce does he implicate himself in the event, though still obscuring its true nature ("I liberated them.").
Being surrounded by individuals who are similarly maladjusted for most of his trillion-year lifespan certainly didn't help things. The Henchmaniacs are likely somewhat stunted as well, or at the very least don't offer much in the way of mature/emotionally adult conversation, especially since Bill reacts so poorly (read: homocidally) to any sense of malcontent.
Which is to say, I think part of why Ford was important to Bill was because, compared to him, Ford was more emotionally developed (Ford is emotionally stunted in his own ways, but not as severely as Bill IMO). Subconsciously, their relationship was reaching a hand out to the scared teenager in the centre of Bill's psyche and offering him someone to lean on- someone who had their shit a little bit more figured out. A kind of figure Bill hadn't had since he killed his parents.
Of course, such vulnerability probably felt so alien that Bill tried to distance himself. I always wondered - why didn't Bill just lie to Ford about his plan to take over Dimension 49'\ ? Ford would've believed him, finished the portal, and Bill's plan would've been fulfilled. Well, I think it was Bill trying to burn the emotional bridge. In his own impulsivity, his own desire to dissociate instead of confront, he would rather make sure that he would never be able to be vulnerable to Ford than fulfill his grand plan.
...
I don't remember where I was going with this. There's no conclusion. I'm spinning this triangular multidimensional tyrant at physically impossible speeds in my mind and if I didn't write something about him my skull was going to turn into a fine powder. It's almost 2 AM, so it's entirely possible this post makes 0 sense, in which case feel free to inform me of that in the notes.
#for those in the audience who piss on the poor: i am NOT saying that bill is LITERALLY A TEENAGER nor am i saying he is 'mentally' a teen#im saying he has not psychologically progressed past concepts that are meant to be grappled with at that age#bill is still an adult. no matter how immaturely he behaves#if i see anyone in the notes turning this into shipcourse i am going to turn your spine into a lamp and use your skin as the shade#gravity falls#euclydia#bill cipher#ford pines#billford#not explicitly but you could read it as billford#i think there was some romance going on there. but idk when im tired im like 1000% more aromantic so i cant be arsed to consider romance rn#anyway bill is bpd coded and not because hes clingy. the impulsivity. the mood swings. the difficulty forming relationships. the sudden-#-hatred or love seemingly at random. keeping everyone at arms length so theres no risk of hurt.#though he also gives npd vibes. though ford is more strongly npd coded imo i mean like the inconsistent support from his family ???#bro was not getting outta there egotypical#brick wall
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Mouthwashing has given me a lot of brain worms and we've got thoughts—time to share them with the hungry void that is Tumblr. One of the last places I'm 90% certain my words won't show up stolen or regurgitated by machine.
Warning for spoilers about the game and rambling!
I believe that Mouthwashing is a modern-day Lolita. The storytelling is similar, in that, almost against their own better judgement and will, the audience finds themselves thinking like our unreliable narrator(s).
Most people.. Sorry, some people have cottoned on to the fact that Anya's personality is not that of a scared, timid and ultimately, useless nurse and she's been in fight or flight response for months now with no other choice but to fawn. As someone who has been in a similar situation for only one day a week for months, the fear only got worse, the longer I went without support. And the things that she does in the background.. No doubt similar to the way that Daisuke kept track of their food supply was brushed over and unsung.. So is the fact that Anya has been keeping a severe burn victim—with 4th degree burns so severe, any treatment we currently have is experimental and expensive.. If the pain does not kill you first—she's been keeping Curly alive for months with no help and incredibly minimal supplies. (I personally think that Anya probably was on the side of giving him an easier death or maybe even suggested a gentler way of giving him medicine—but (sterile) syringes in space? Limited water? An especially dismissive Swansea and go with the flow Daisuke?.. Easier to try and give Jimmy what he wants.)
But. I believe that people overlook the ways in which Catastrophe Jim's perspective on Curly twists our own. Pre-Crash Curly exists upon a pedestal—a good man, better than Jimmy could ever hope to be; a good, well-liked captain. Well-off, better looking (I say this because of the similarities in how Jimmy mentally views himself in similar shape and age as Curly) and still reaching for more. For better. People catch the underlying jealous and resentment for the life that Jimmy wants at all cost but.. They miss the pedestal. The miss the fact that if Jimmy says that Curly's better than he is, a good and better Captain.. That means that Curly is doing the bare fucking minimum: keeping them all alive year after year. Curly is a nice captain with the capacity to soothe over minor issues and keep a cool head and keep the crew on schedule.. But he is not a good one. He's not even a good person. Not really. Jimmy thinks of him as a good person, puts him on this pedestal that he's foaming at the mouth with excitement to pull him off of. Dirty the golden boy and spit on his silver-threaded bootstraps once and for all.
Except.. What evidence do we have that Curly is especially liked or respected? Where is this cheering crew? Where is Curly good?
Curly is a human, at the end of the day.
And.. Which comes to my more complicated and no doubt contriversal take... Curly is also a victim of Jimmy stuck in fawn response. This doesn't absolve him of the ways in which he failed the crew but Anya especially by letting Jimmy run amok and failing to take any action while he still had the chance. He stood by when Anya begins to hint at something beneath the shiny veneer of a happy tight-knit crew and most damningly, he stood by as Jimothy entered the cockpit immediately after suggesting a plan to kill everyone aboard.
I genuinely.. Genuinely.. Don't know what he thought would happen.
But he does take action.. And his last action is what makes he and Anya swap places. Except.. Not truly.
Yes, they are in similar situations—vulnerable to the whims of a psychotic madman with an inferiority complex and their plight largely ignored by the crew; a necessary sacrifice to keep the peace.. Just until safe harbor—but where Anya begins to gain autonomy and some relief from Jimmy no longer having a need for her.. Curly finds himself the center of Jimmy's world.
And that is not a great place to be in.
Curly is systemically isolated (bad-mouthed to the crew over and over again, berated publicly, blamed for an awful accident that Jimmy caused) and his torture and abuse mirrors the continuous, silent medical, emotional and physical abuse that many disabled people face. And almost in a worse way, his voice is stolen from him and used in such insidious inspiration porn.. A lot of people think that he actually said those things.
But we won't know. And if he did say these things.. Why does Jimmy only seem to (mis)understand them in the final acts? Recalling them in Curly's voice but not as the Captain but as a savior, his last charitable act to wipe the ledger of blood clean.
Jimmy doesn't want to see Curly better. He likes feeling useful. He enjoys having Curly watch him and in the same breath, he loathes it. He wants Curly's judgement. He wants Curly's praise. He wants.. Everything that makes Curly Curly.
Curly as a silent observer isn't remarked on often.. Nor is the fact that more than likely, the others heard Curly's sobs of pain from the medbay. But Curly is very conscious, very aware and very alone in his thoughts.
There's a point in which the perspective changes during Swansea's mercy killing—a gift that no one offers Curly—and once again, Curly is stuck watching all of his mistakes play out, one after the other. Unable to do anything but laugh.
But is it a laugh or a sob? Jimmy doesn't care and neither does the player—what's important is the objective: the gun. 739. Click. He steps over Anya's body like it's not even there and runs away.
We don't find out what set Swansea off���maybe Jimmy couldn't help himself and said something about Daisuke or Anya that blamed them. Maybe it was something else. Curly watches on. Helplessly.
There's something to be said about the black screens and the static that occurs when Jimmy hurts Curly or kills Swansea—like he's cutting the memory off before the guilt can get to him. And it's the same thing I'd like to bring up about Curly's voice. Yes, it takes a lot to speak without lips.. Or from what it looks like a tongue.. But there are more noises Curly can make. Noises that can refute Jimmy.
And in the same way that he's at the precipice of something so terrifying he keeps returning to the same spot that's slowly killing him, he's learned that fighting is useless.
It's 2 months after the crash when see Jimmy's perspective again, after all. And while Anya's requests for help seem to be new.. Who's to say that the beatings are?
The worse type of abuse is the type that leaves no bruises. After all, Curly cries all the time in pain.. What's the difference here?
To cycle back to my original point in this.. I don't see a lot of people consider Post-Crash Curly's living hell as another facet of Jimmy's abuse going unchecked by the people around him as anything other than comeuppance. As Karma. And it's the coldest take I've seen from the fandom so far. Allow me to reheat it up for you: disability so severe that you must rely on others is not divine punishment. It's not just desserts. Just as disabled people are your infantilazed, idealized, inspirational iron woobie that can take pain and push through it.. They are also not being punished by the divine. They are humans and sometimes shit just happens and it sucks.
The way that Jimmy views Post-Crash Curly as a saving prop.. Proof that he can indeed fix it.. is so normalized that as the audience, it can be something that you aim to achieve–one of the earliest and easiest achievements you can get is opening and closing Curly's mouth like a mannequin.
There's a relief that we share when Curly shuts up. There's a shutdown in empathy when Jimmy brutalizes him. Up until we can no longer look away.
Because Jimmy can no longer look away. And that is the chilling part of all this. Jimmy gets away with it—all of it—because of the crew's inability to overcome their own apathetic acceptance of the monster in their midst.
Just like most people accept the main character from Lolita as a gentleman, the crew accepts Jimmy as a guy. A little rough and short-tempered but what do you expect from blue collar work? Hold your nose, it'll be over in a year. In 8 months. In 10. Soon. It'll be over soon.
I can't help but worry if Jimmy weren't so bad at being likable and if he were even a smidgen of the charismatic mastermind, he so clearly wants to be..
We'd have another Valentino on our hands.
Mouthwashing is a horror that I can't help but devour. FEAST, indeed.
#mouthwashing#creative writing#writing#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing
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Spoilers for the end of veilguard and specifically how solas’s story is handled under the cut
And seriously I do mean the very end of the game and I’m gonna talk about stuff that happened before then too
You have been warned
I felt satisfied with the ending.
I was able to collect all the solas memories/regret murals and very much felt like the way the ending unlocked by that was handled well.
Solas has always been a man bound by his regrets. And this game spent a lot of time establishing is primary regret is Mythal. Yes, he cares deeply about helping people and wants that world restored, but it’s less to do with the elven people and more to do with him feeling like he’s made mistake after mistake.
He’s been living in a sunk-cost fallacy for millennia and cannot see a way out. He really, really doesn’t want to do this - he knows how many people he’ll hurt to do it, but can’t see another way because if he stops now he feels like it’ll be just another betrayal of mythal when he’s already betrayed and failed her so many times. She’s the reason any of this happened.
That’s why it has to be mythal telling him to stop. He wanted to stop for a romanced lavellan - his letter says that explicitly. But he regrets mythal’s death (and his resulting actions) so much he just. Can’t let it go. What does his life mean if he can’t fulfill the wishes of the goddess that called him to service, to a body? The friend he murdered, in the end, to make up for the first time she as killed.
He was a spirit of wisdom mythal corrupted - it’s another version of Cole and the Templar who killed the human Cole. That confrontation has to happen for him to move in any direction.
And the way he absolutely crumples when he sees her? Damn if that didn’t sell me on how deeply he cares for her, beyond the murals that show how ashamed he is of what he did with and for her.
He’s always needed someone to tell him there was another way, but nobody besides mythal could absolve him of the actions he took, because they aren’t her. It’s not a matter of the nature of their relationship, rather that he cannot untie himself from the way his spirit was warped by her and the actions he took in response to her.
Idk I know people will have very different feelings and opinions on how that went down, but it made sense to me.
And my solas-romanced lavellan acted exactly how I expected her to. Granted, Ellana is the kind of lavellan who would immediately forgive him and would, no questions asked, go with him on his journey to atone. I had a whole fic planned out where she did that exact thing - even if the details weren’t what happened here.
If you have a lavellan who isn’t as sad as mine and who wouldn’t join him, yeah this ending may not work for you. But I went from being pissed at him for trapping my rook and lying about killing varric to immediately being back on my ‘fuck you’re just a deeply sad and broken man please let yourself be happy’ lament when he talked about how he failed both the world and mythal in different moments.
It worked for me. I’m satisfied by how it was handled and think the ending makes sense for the read on Solas I’ve had for the last several years. He’s just a deeply sad man who thinks he has to make up for his failures - and the one person he’s failed more than anyone tells him it’s not on him. She’s the one person he could never get forgiveness from - and he got it. And that’s why it had to be her.
#dragon age#solas#solavellan#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the Veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#da:v spoilers#dragon age spoilers
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Hey, I've been off for a while so I don't know if anyone's asked you this before or not, but I need some help with writing and you're the only smart person I could think of right now... 😭
How can you come up with such great plot ideas?? Like, how can you just come up with a plan and go like "yeah that's gonna happen because he did this to do that." How tf do I even word that? Like, for example, when Bill escaped the mystery shack so Ford wouldn't oof him for good. Like you came up with such a complex yet amazing plan for how they could escape. WHY ARE YOU SO SMART GIVE ME YOUR BRAIN POWER. I had the thought that it took you a while, like maybe years to plan something like this. Idk for how long you were planning on starting this fic, but as someone who wants to start their own manga, and is also heavily inspired by bungo stray dogs, I need help cause I suck at writing. I'm only good for midly funny jokes and somewhat good art (but I have time to improve on that.) Also I'm sorry if this does not make sense 😭 idk how else to word it...
Honestly... the answer is "I come up with plots by spending a lot of time thinking about them" LMAO.
specifically for that plot arc? I sorta came up with it in three phases, a few months apart. Simplifying pages & pages worth of discord chats:
Phase 1 was "well OBVIOUSLY the humans initially want Bill dead right? And OBVIOUSLY Bill wants to escape right? So it would only make sense to have a plotline where they're ready to kill him and he has to escape. Either he can succeed by himself... or, maybe some of the humans change their minds and don't want him dead. That'd show some major character development. That might be cool for the end of the fic."
Phase 2 was "I have two ideas that would make for a REALLY cool dramatic ending of the fic, either Bill's escape or [BIG SECRET], which is cooler? Definitely [BIG SECRET], that's DRAMATIC, that's HUGE, that's GOING PLACES. But the character development from him escaping would be really big. How do I have both?
"Maybe have him escape early in the fic... And I can use Bill trying to escape as the inciting event to give him more freedom to hang out in town, which is a huge goal of mine that needs to happen as early in the fic as possible. But then I'd need to justify why he'd come back.
"Maybe Mabel helps him escape; and then finds out no one wants to hurt him anymore and pleas with him to come back; because them sparing him would be huge character development on their part, but BILL coming back because MABEL ASKED would be even BIGGER character development on his part. But I also want Ford to have a turning point here too. Maybe he also helps with the escape somehow? Maybe it's a SURPRISE that he helps, and that's why the situation has changed enough that Mabel asks Bill to come back. So he's coming back for both of them. Now I just need a reason for Ford to change his mind."
Phase 3 was "while plotting other plots I came up with the reason why Ford no longer immediately fears Bill might kill them all AND a reason why Ford might think Bill has a chance of changing for the better. Now I just need to make up the details of how Bill escapes, what he does while he's out, etc etc. shrinking flashlight, excuse for mabel to leave town, excuse for her to stop BEFORE she leaves town to set Bill free, where's Bill go that keeps him in the area, if his choice is between miserably camping or going back to the shack then there's no emotional impact if he chooses to go back when he knows it's safe, so what can I do to make leaving seem as appealing as possible to Bill so it hits harder when he stays solely for friendship..." this phase was the easiest part.
I didn't start plotting this fic at all until after I made this post. These three phases all happened from like late spring 2023 to I think fall/winter 2023. I don't remember when I plotted phase 3, except that it was AT LEAST before I started posting the locked bathroom plot—because I had Mabel win concert tickets and mentioned her using the size-changing flashlight specifically to set them up for the escape plot.
So, looking at the above? Here's my advice, with more examples from how I do my own ploting:
— Know your character goals, before everything else. "I want the characters to want Bill to stay alive." "(which means I want them to stop hating him AND stop fearing him AT LEAST enough that execution seems like a worse choice than captivity)." "I want Bill to decide he wants to stay near his new friends more than he wants to run off and do evil." "(If this is early in his character development, the power of friendship won't be enough to convince him to stay; so I also need to come up with some evil he can get up to without leaving town.)" "I want Bill to get more freedom to move around the town because half my ideas depend on it." "I want Bill to befriend Mabel." "I want Bill to hook up with Ford." "I want Bill to keep trying to get back into his body no matter what." Etc.
— Usually, you don't come up with plots by going "what would be cool?" and trying to pull ideas out of thin air. You come up with plots by going "what do I want my characters to go through emotionally?" (becoming friends, learning to feel remorse, trying to change forms, etc)
... and then going "well, what kind of thing would need to happen to make that happen?" (To become friends, the two characters need to do things together that make them like each other—which means I need to come up with events that would show each of them why the other's likable, and if need be I need to come up with an excuse to FORCE them to participate in that event together)
... and THEN going "so what physical circumstances do I need to engineer to make that happen?" (Mabel befriends Bill by trying to help him feel better. Why's he need to feel better? He hates his body. How is this hatred expressed (and it needs to be a way Mabel can do something about)? Maybe he'll give himself a shitty haircut. How can she help fix it, it could take years for him to regrow that hair? Well... let's make up a magical way to instantly regrow hair. What's silly enough?)
You take your character goal and then specifically craft something cool around it.
— if you DO happen to come up with a random cool event first... remember what your character goals are. And go, "how would this event serve those goals? What can I put in this event to push one of my other objectives forward?
— when you're working on one part of the story, you always remember what you wanna do in other parts of the story.
When I was plotting early events in the fic, I knew that before the escape plot Ford needed to stop fearing Bill would kill him—and I decided the only way that could happen would be if Bill saved Ford's life, with NO benefit to himself, at great personal risk, knowing it would make his own situation worse, for no reason except that Ford would continue to live—and that seed grew into the entirety of the eclipse arc.
When I had Ford make indirect contact with Bill's cult at the crystal shop and I asked myself what the payoff could be from that event, I also knew I'd need something to tempt Bill to leave town in the escape plot—so that became the cult's role in the fic.
When I needed something silly for Mabel to do in town to prevent her from coming home and finding Bill locked in the bathroom, I already knew I'd need a reason for her to leave town for a couple days to disguise Bill's escape—so I had her win concert tickets in Portland.
When I was writing Bill having his mini emotional breakdown in chapter 39, I already knew I'd be writing a series of flashbacks where Soos thinks over all the terrible things Bill's been through—so when I wrote Bill trying to avoid going outside during the eclipse, I wrote in Bill giving Soos info that would help protecting the townsfolk.
When I wrote the beach episode, I already knew that in future chapters I want Robbie to try to recruit Bill into his emo band, and I want Bill to develop a complex vicarious worship relationship with the local teens' ironic Bill cult—so I had the goth half of Wendy's friend group swing by to have a positive reaction to his pyramid bricks sunburn and let him try to present himself as a fellow goth kid.
When I wrote the summerween plot, I already knew Mr. What's-His-Face gets a plotline way later in the fic—so I used summerween as an excuse for the Trickster's and Mr. WHF's mutual friends to swing by and foreshadow Mr. WHF's eventual arrival.
Any time you have a gap in the story, you fill it by asking yourself, "Well, what's something I want to do later in the story that I haven't set up yet?" and stuff in something that pushes forward one of those goals.
Or, tl;dr: I come up with plots by spending a lot of time thinking about them.
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Okay, finally about to get all my thoughts down after yesterday’s episode. I’m going to start with Moon since he’s being the one most talked about.
This is going to be a long post, so I’ll put a cut here <3
Moon
A lot of people are hating on how Moon reacted to Sun’s current trauma. I agree that he is not handling the situation well. As much as I understand where he’s coming from, running from Sun is not going to help at all. Sun desperately needs his family with him right now. No one else may have considered Nexus daily anymore, but it was still clear that Sun cared. He basically had to kill his own brother. Not only that, he was made to feel as if he chose to kill his own brother. (There was no choice in the matter, it was physiological torture set up specifically to make Sun feel guilty for his actions. Sun may have threw the “fireball” but Dark was the one who forced him to.)
Anyways, back to Moon. I think what a lot of people are forgetting is that Moon also just lived through a trauma. He was kidnapped and tortured, almost killed before Ruin saved him. The only reason Ruin saved him, as Ruin explained himself, was because Ruin hated Dark and Nexus. It was not because he wanted to save Moon, it was because he wanted to thwart Dark and Nexus’ plans. When he’s finally on his way to getting out, he finds two of his brothers being tortured, and almost watched one of them die before he got there. (I think that’s why he started screaming when he did. He was buying time for Solar by directing Nexus’ attention at him.) He then watched Nexus die. He was not close to Nexus in any way, but watching anyone die in front of you is not great for your mental health.
After all this, Moon is then told he has to not only process his own trauma, but take on Sun’s trauma as well. Moon does want to help, but he is too overly burdened by his own problems and knows he wouldn’t be of any help. To make up of his guilt, he is coving up his own trauma response by saying he’s doing it for Sun. He very likely knows this isn’t going to help Sun emotionally, but he feels he can stop any farther trauma to Sun by stopping whatever’s causing it. It’s both genuinely feeling this is the only way he can help Sun, and feeling guilt over not being able to help him in the way that is currently needed.
Is that the best response? No. But is it a very Moon response? Yes. This is actually exactly how he used to fix problems. Moon should not have abused Sun in the way he did, and he still needs to apologize for that, but Moon genuinely thought in some of these instances that he was helping Sun. He is not an emotionally available person, so he cannot handle his own emotions on top of others. So he does the next best thing he can think of and tries to stop what’s causing the trauma. Moon has just as much trauma as Sun does, people just don’t tend to feel that way because he took out his emotions on Sun to process them. At least this time he’s not taking it out on Sun. At least he is trying to actually stop the problem.
All in all, Moon isn’t as in the wrong as everyone keeps saying. Yes, he definitely should go talk to Sun. Hell, even just sitting in the same room as Solar does all the talking would be a big help. Just showing that he is there for Sun. But then Moon would feel more guilty, because he wouldn’t see how he’s helping and would still want to go after Dark and Ruin. He may seem apathetic, but he genuinely is trying to fix the situation.
(Edit : I also think people are forgetting that Moon had absolutely no insight as to what the real situation was. Sun did not tell them he was forced to make a choice, he simply saw Nexus explode. He probably thinks Sun intentionally killed Nexus. He does not realize the true gravity of the situation like we do.)
Sun
Obviously, Sun is the most emotionally distressed over the situation. The entire time he was talking with Nexus, a few episodes before his death, Sun tried to say he didn’t care about Nexus. Nexus saw through the lies, he knew Sun for an entire year by this point. They used to be brothers, Nexus wasn’t going to believe Sun didn’t care because Sun never stopped caring. As much as Sun was hurt by Nexus, that was still his brother. It’s kind of similar to his feelings of Moon at the beginning of the show. Moon did some genuinely terrible things to him, but Sun still cared. The only reason this situation is any different is because Moon would sometimes try and show regret over his actions, and Nexus blatantly didn’t care.
Sun found out his brother was kidnapped, had to bargain with the enemy to try and get past another enemy, almost got caught in the crossfire of a deadly fight, and was then tortured by someone he used to call a brother. He was almost forced to watch Solar die purely as a revenge tactic to get back at him, and Sun would have felt it was his fault Solar died. The was only stopped by Moon rushing in to start fighting. Right when it looked like Nexus was about to kill everyone, Dark forced Sun into a rigged choice between killing his brothers. (Edit: It was Ruin’s device that killed Nexus. Sun had no part in physically killing him.)
Once again, really want people to understand that Sun did not kill Nexus. He was simply made to feel like he did. It’s psychological torture, make someone feel as if they are choosing a certain outcome when you are actually in control so that the person will be traumatized by “their own” actions. Dark was very in control of the situation. He very much knew who Sun was going to choose, but forced him into doing so in a way that would make Sun feel like it was his fault. Sun is in no way at fault for Nexus’ death. That is completely on Dark.
In the end, Sun is forced to watch his former brother, someone he still cares very deeply about, die a very violent and painful death. He is forced to think he is the one to cause it. He was already in high distress before hand from Moon’s kidnapping and attempted rescue. Now he is dealing with what is quite possibly his worst trauma yet. This forces him to shut down and dissociate from the problem.
Notice how Sun forces himself not to breakdown until he gets back to the house, and even then he goes to his own room and very quietly starts to cry. Even while he was in extreme emotional pain, he was trying to be considerate of the people around him. He didn’t want to force them to handle him while he was suffering, so he made his suffering as silent and unseen as he could. Because Sun never stops caring.
To say the least, Sun is in an unbearable amount of pain right now. It will be a very long road to recovery for him, if he ever recovers from this.
Solar
Solar seems to be the most level headed in the situation, which isn’t an odd thing. He will usually take on that role in these types of situations. He was also one of the first to say killing Nexus was their best option. He was probably the most prepared for this kind of outcome.
The thing is, as much as Solar might not like it, he is still an Eclipse. He still deals with his problems like most Eclipses do, though arguably better than others. He finds work to do, and he drowns himself in it to avoid his own feelings. Eclipses are kings of repression. Solar doesn’t want to acknowledge his own feelings, so he’s going to forget he even has them.
His current choice of work? Helping Sun. To him, Sun is obviously more hurt than he is, so his own emotions don’t matter. He feels Sun needs more help than him, so he’s not going to show any distress so that the others will focus on Sun and not him. If they focus on him, he will have to feel his feelings, and he doesn’t want that. He wants Sun better, because to him Sun obviously is the one more in need.
I think that’s one of the reasons he got so upset with Moon over the whole “go talk to Sun” situation. No one is helping Sun, and he’s confused on why no one is helping. Sun obviously needs it, why is everyone just leaving him alone? They need to go check on Sun, he’s obviously not okay right now. Why is no one helping Sun?
I thinks there’s a lot of factors at play here, besides just repression. I think is also somewhat projection and reliving trauma too. He basically lived the beginning of his life without help when he was in emotional distress. His Moon never cared about him, blamed him for Sun’s death, and constantly verbally and physically abused him. He was never allowed to grieve. Seeing Sun hurting like this and not getting help is reminding him of his own feelings in past situations where he never got help. He may not realize it, but it’s a possibility. Also, he still has the attachment to his own Sun. I don’t think he likes seeing any Sun (besides Dark) in any sort of pain.
Then there’s the last thing.
Solar had to kill his Moon.
This situation is striking way too close to home.
Solar is probably the only one who genuinely can feel empathy for Sun’s current situation. He’s the only one who knows what it feels like to “pull the trigger”. Nexus was also acting very similar to how Solar’s Moon used to act. And Solar never got any help when it happened. He didn’t even tell anyone, he covered it up and tried to forget. I think Lunar is the only one who knows about it, and Lunar never did anything about it. Solar was forced to go through nearly this exact situation, and he does not want to see Sun go through what he had to go through.
(On top of all this, Solar was very close to Nexus before his death. He’s not showing it, but he is very much hurt by what is happening. The only reason he is probably not in more distress is because he prepared for this being a possible outcome.)
Earth
To be completely honest, I have been way more focused on the others in this situation. Earth is also one of the easiest characters to read, as she verbally voices her feeling to everyone and has never really felt the need to hide them. We already know she’s upset by the situation, and is probably going to have some sort of mildly poor coping mechanism, but she is going to be the most emotionally okay out of everyone. Not because she is feeling okay, but because she’s the most in tune with her own feelings, and with how to properly handle those feelings.
I’m not saying she’s going to be perfectly okay over this. She is obviously still very hurt and troubled. I am also not trying to downplay her emotions. She is definitely going to need the others to help her. This portion isn’t short because I don’t like her, it’s just short because she is genuinely the best off in this situation. She knows how to find help when she needs it and, even better, she will ask for it.
Monty & Lunar
I’m sticking them together because I feel very similar ways about them.
I do not understand their reactions to the current situation.
Monty is more understandable. He was always closer to Moon than he was to Nexus. That much was very obvious. The moment Moon came back they got drunk and partied, and then feel right back into their old friendship. Monty was seemingly completely unaffected by Nexus’ change of heart. He very much only cares about themself and Earth.
The way he’s acting currently is not helping the situation. At all. It’s even worse than Moon’s reaction, in my opinion. Moon at least feels he is helping Sun. Monty is doing nothing. “Nexus is dead? Cool. Let’s hide this from Earth because it will hurt her and I can’t stand seeing that.” That is going to hurt Earth a lot worse in the long run if she was never told. She doesn’t like lies, even by omission. You already are hurting others by being apathetic, do not hurt Earth because seeing her hurt will hurt you. That’s fucked up.
Then there’s Lunar. I’ve already talked about my feelings on him, but I still cannot figure him out. He’s always been a very apathetic character when he’s not interested or running from emotional pain. But this? This feels almost malicious. He doesn’t seem to care. Usually when he is running, he’ll verbally tell everyone he knows what he’s doing. He knows it’s bad. But right now he is not saying anything. His is either dissociating from the problem to the point he is numb, or he is so genuinely unbothered that there isn’t any sort of care in his heart.
This doesn’t feel like Lunar. This has never been his reaction to anything before. We haven never seen this from him at this scale. It feels so violently out of character for someone who is very emotional and loud about it.
At this point, I am starting to wonder if the Star power is having a bigger effect on him than we think. We all know that the Astrals deal with apathy to most things. Even Castor and Pollux has said they don’t react to things like most people expect them to. They do not have the ability to care in a way the feels human. Since Lunar has been training to become an Astral, I’m starting to wonder if this will begin to mentally change him as well.
I am not saying that apathy is a bad thing to have. I am not saying Lunar is wrong to feel this way. I am simply saying it feels violently out of character, and is not helpful in the situation at all.
These two are currently being the least helpful in this situation. They do not care, and do not feel the need to soften their apathy and help the others. Lunar is actually the most unsympathetic out of the group, which is actually a stark contrast to how he usually is portrayed.
#🌟 Ten Talks#tsams#sams#the sun and moon show#sun and moon show#tsams moon#tsams sun#tsams solar#tsams earth#tsams lunar#tsams monty
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Deepest Depths (1/4)
In which Callum hatches a plan that will save them all, but doom himself. And Soren decides to save him from that doom at his own expense. Blame @adashulaz for this angsty mess of a fic.
“There is another option.” Callum says, and hopeful faces turn to him from every corner of the table. But the optimism in their eyes dies as soon as he brings out the unicorn’s horn and sets it on the table. Soren himself shivers, knowing now what those can do. And the blood that was spilled to wrest it from Aaravos’ grasp.
“Callum.” Rayla says, voice hollow. “People died.”
“And that’s exactly why we should use it.” he says, earnest. Desperate. “So that their sacrifices mean something. We all know what Aaravos is capable of now. What he’s really capable of. With this-” he hefts the horn again, offering it to the table. Several people flinch away. “-I could cast a spell to get rid of him. For good, this time.”
“The spell that killed Avizandum.” Ezran says, voice ringing through the silence that had descended as soon as Callum finished speaking. “That’s how this started. It’s not how we’re going to end it. That spell is evil.”
“It could kill Aaravos, permanently. Isn’t that what we’re trying to do?” Callum argued, turning on his brother. Soren hated to see them fight like this, especially when they needed each other most.
“Yes, but I’m not going to let us become monsters to do it.” Ezran told his brother.
“So you’re calling King Harrow a monster?”
It was like a slap in the face to the young king, and Soren knew that Callum would regret it later. He stepped forward, putting himself physically between them before things could escalate anymore than they already had.
“Let’s all just cool it.” he said, arms out, forcing them both to step back.
Rayla backed him up, placing a gentle hand on Callum’s shoulder. “This isn’t going to help anything.” she murmured in his ear, quiet enough that Soren only barely heard her. The mage deflated somewhat, shoving the unicorn horn back into his satchel.
“I’m just saying we should consider it.”
“No.” Ezran said with a shake of his head. “I won’t.”
“Fine.” Callum snapped. He turned and stalked off, and after a moment Rayla followed, casting an apologetic glance over her shoulder at Ezran. The young king turned away, unable to look at either of them. Things had been strained between them since Runaan, even without this.
Once the pair of them had gone, Ezran resumed the meeting; acting as though the conversation had never happened. Everyone followed his lead, unable to do much else, though Soren caught a few anxious glances passing around the room. More than the castle was crumbling, he thought. Their resolve was too. They could only take so much more of this before it broke entirely. Callum and Ezran needed to be working together instead of against each other.
To that end, he went to find the High Mage once the meeting had adjourned; no more fruitful than any of the others they had held over the last couple weeks. Thankfully Callum and Rayla weren't hard to find; Soren could hear their voices trailing out of the library from all the way down the hall.
"-he'd thank me later." Callum was saying. Soren could hear the distinct clip of his stride as he paced back and forth as he spoke. "They all would. I'd be doing them a favor."
"Callum, even if it wasn't that spell in particular, it wouldn't work."
"I know that dark magic is bad-"
"Not just that." Rayla cut in. "Callum. You would die."
Soren stopped short, hand hovering over the doorknob. He let it fall to his side, instead peering through the small crack in the door they had left, the door not entirely closed. Rayla was leaning against a bookshelf only a few feet away, arms crossed over her chest. Callum had stopped his pacing to turn to her, eyes determined.
"Rayla, you made me promise to do the right thing. To make the sacrifice. If this is what it takes to win, to protect you and Ez, then it's what I have to do."
"That's not what I-"
"You're not the only one who's willing to sacrifice everything, Rayla. You know if things were different you'd make the same call."
She couldn't argue and Callum knew it. "So it's settled then. Tomorrow morning you and I set out. I'll cast the spell, and you'll make sure it hits it's mark. For Katolis. For the world." his determination wavered. "For Ez."
"What if-" Rayla began, but Callum cut her off with a shake of his head.
"It won't work, I already thought of that." he said, frustrated. "The Dark Magic, it hits you almost immediately after the spell is cast. If you do it, then you won't be able to make sure the weapon finds it's mark. You're the warrior, Rayla. So let me be the mage. Remember?"
"Callum-" she tried to protest, but his voice just climbed higher to drown her out, rising in pitch and anger.
"The warrior and the mage, Rayla. This was always how it was meant to be. The warrior and the mage will pierce of the heart-"
"I know the dumb prophecy, Callum." Rayla snapped, voice rising to meet his.
"-and melt the threat forever." he finished, putting extra emphasis on the last word. "Forever, Rayla."
"That's not what it was about, Callum." Rayla argued. Soren, still glued to the door, could almost hear their voices morphing into those of his mother and father. Saw their shadows moving under the door like he'd seen theirs; angry and arguing, and him, outside, looking in and unable to fix it. Unable to understand. If they loved each other, then why…
But he understood now. It was because they had loved each other. But Dark Magic had driven them apart. Pain had driven them apart; grief, fear.
It was all that filled the halls, now. You could feel it all around you; fear and pain and loss. And darkness. Not Dark Magic, maybe. Not yet. But soon that would make it's home here as well. His own name called Soren back to the present and made him lean against the door again, peering through the crack at the pair of them.
"Soren... do you think he still loves Viren?" Callum was asking, turning to Rayla. He was holding a book now, one that Soren remembered well. It was one of his father's.
Rayla, she'd stepped away from the bookcase during the heat of the argument and now paced across the opposite side of the room, turned to look at him. "Callum?"
"It's for the spell." he explained. "We need blood filled with hatred, but not just any blood, the blood of someone who loved the victim. And after what Astrid told us about the pearl being here, well, Viren is the closest we have to a victim right now. I already managed to find the rest."
Rayla's back was to the door, so Soren couldn't see her expression, but she hunched her shoulders in as she answered; "Even after Runaan tried to kill me, even after Ethari made me a ghost, I still loved them, Callum. It made that love hurt, but it didn't go away. They're my family. I'll always love them. No matter what they've done."
Callum let the book fall shut, turning to her. They shared a long glance until, finally, Rayla looked away first.
"It's settled then." Callum said, voice final. "We go in the morning. At first light, so Ezran can't stop us. I'll ask Soren right before we go, in case he sides with Ez. If he says no, then we'll figure something else out."
Callum tucked the book into his satchel as he crossed the floor to Rayla then, taking her hands in his. "I love you, Rayla. Nothing will ever change that. Not even tomorrow. Just know that, somewhere in me, I’ll always love you."
A small, stifled sound like a sob escaped Rayla's lips and Callum pressed his forehead to hers. Soren stepped away from the door, feeling even more like an intruder. But not before he caught the next thing Callum said.
"If we succeed and he’s gone, and I mean really gone, then he won't be able to use me; even if I do use Dark Magic again. Maybe... maybe I can find my way back to you. I'll fight to get back to you with everything I have, Rayla. I promise."
Soren left them to their grief.
He couldn't sleep that night, or more, he could; but every time he closed his eyes, half-formed visions played behind his eyelids. Rayla, crouched over Callum's fallen form, shaking him and begging him to wake up. Ezran, tears gathering in his eyes, the horrible surety filling them as he realized that Callum had gone before he awoke. The statue that would stand in the Valley of Graves long after all of them were dead and buried.
Soren had known Callum for most of his life; grown up with him and watched him become the man he was today. He was proud of the mage, who was like a brother to him. But with that knowledge came recognition; he had seen that look in Callum's eyes a thousand times before and knew what it meant. When Callum set his mind to something, really set his mind to it, there was no stopping him; even if that thing he'd chosen was his own death. Soren figured that was why Rayla hadn't argued any more than she had; they both knew Callum well enough to know it would be pointless.
But the same way that Soren knew he couldn't stop Callum, he also knew what he had to do. He had known when he followed them to the library, he now realized. Before he even heard the first whisperings of their plan. But there was one problem with Soren's new solution; Callum was right. If he cast the spell, then the dark magic would make him go all wobbly long before he could get it to Aaravos. Unless...
Soren sat up, looking down at his hands; clenching and unclenching them. Felt the air filling his lungs with every breath. This wasn't the first time he'd been exposed to dark magic. It was a part of him. He was a dead man walking. None of the others knew that, of course. How did you bring it up in casual conversation? But maybe if Callum had known, he would have changed his plan. Maybe Soren could cast the spell and deliver the killing blow, all on his own.
It was too late to ask Callum that now, though. He'd become suspicious immediately. And it was too late to know if the twisted, horrible feeling in his chest was love for his father or hate. He would just have to hope it would work.
Soren donned his armor with newfound purpose, or more, a purpose that had always been there, but he had only now accepted. He was a Crownguard. This was what he did. My heart for Katolis, he thought. My life for the royal family.
His footfalls were quiet, quieter than they’d ever had to be before, as he crept down the hall and into Callum's study. Thankfully he had gone to sleep with Rayla tonight, so Soren was able to disregard stealth in favor of speed as he searched for the satchel and it's contents. He found it hanging off the back of a chair; and upon opening it, was relieved to see that everything he would need was already there. He picked the book up just in case, flipping through until he found the spell that had, as Ezran had put it, started this all.
A unicorn horn, blood filled with hatred, and-
Soren stopped. lifting the small, empty appearing glass jar from the satchel even as he read the words. A dying breath.
His own breath caught in his throat at the realization of what must be contained right behind that glass. Soren knew that Callum's mastery of the sky arcanum had only grown in recent years, and that, he supposed, meant mastery over air itself. But to think that he had found the place it happened and-
Soren squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself not to feel anything. Not to admit that maybe this was too far, too dark a spell. After all, what choice did they have?
He tucked the jar back into the satchel alongside the other components, marking which page held the incantation. Then he slung it over his shoulder and he left.
#call the darkness fic#the dragon prince#tdp fanfic#soren tdp#rayllum#rayla tdp#callum tdp#ezran tdp#tdp s7 theories#rayllum angst#let ezran me messy#snake boi callum#soren as a shield#tdp dark magic#basically all the angst in one place yk
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Rosyln
Dean Winchester x FreshlyTurned!Reader
It was supposed to be a simple hunt. Something to get the three of you back on your feet after a year of thinking Sam was dead and no contact between you and Dean.
Word Count: 2.1k
Tags: Vampirism, the reader is turned, angst, hurt/comfort, soulless Sam is slacking, blood, vivid descriptions of smell and pain, vomiting, illness comfort, Samuel Campbell (yes he is a warning he sucks), brief mention of the reader killing Dean
Characters: Dean Winchester, Soulless!Sam Winchester, FreshlyTurned!Reader, Samuel Campbell
Anonymous requested: "hi <3 wasn’t sure if I could request this or not, feel free to ignore if you don’t feel comfortable doing it, but can I request a hurt/comfort fic with dean :) like patching up an injury or smth, thank you !!!"
Read it on AO3!
A/N: Bon Iver + St. Vincent title. Okay, I'm going to preface this by saying this went a little off the rails from what the request asked for, and I hope that this is still generally within the realm of hurt/comfort. Thank you for the request anon, and if you don't think I quite hit the mark, I'm sorry. Other than the haywire writing, this was a ton of fun to write, and made me brush up on my season six lore. Every mistake is my own, heed the tags, and enjoy!
Dean Winchester Masterlist | Supernatural Masterlist | Main Page Masterlist
Blood ran down your chest and stomach, coupled with a hot, searing pain that pulsated from the side of your neck.
The barn you were in was slipping in and out of vision as you tried to focus on a small crack that ran through a few of the ceiling boards.
The reality of your life coming to an end in a barn on the outskirts of a small Midwest town crashed down on you.
It was supposed to be a simple hunt.
Something to get the three of you back on your feet after a year of thinking Sam was dead and no contact between you and Dean.
Rush the vamp nest, take them out, and torch the place for good measure.
It was a fairly simple plan, given the things you three had gone through over the past years. Ghosts, demons, and the damn devil himself. A plan that would’ve gone through perfectly if Sam followed through on his end.
You were supposed to go through one of the top windows, Dean through the front, and Sam the back.
You found two vamps up in the loft, swiftly cutting through the head of one before the other kicked you straight through the loft’s railing, landing on your back a floor below.
Before you could get to your feet, he was on top of you, yanking the machete in your hands and throwing it across the room. He brought his grotesque mouth to your neck, all sharp needles made of bone. The metallic smell of blood caked to the back of his teeth wafted over your senses.
You could feel the muscles in your neck drawing taught as his teeth attempted to rip out the soft flesh between your neck and shoulder. You tried pushing him off, but the harder you pushed, the more his jaw would close. The only thing stopping him from ripping your throat clean open was Dean running behind him and holding the vampire’s mouth open like a wild animal.
Through your drowning ears, you could hear Dean yelling for Sam to come kill the monster on top of you, but no such relief came.
You didn’t know where Sam was, but you knew Dean had a choice to make.
Either let the vampire’s jaw go, letting him yank your throat apart as he scrambled for a weapon to kill it, or continue yelling for his brother who was yet to be found.
Your eyes met his briefly through the struggle of his vice grip on your attacker. You could see confusion, followed by regret, flash in his eyes; like you were telling him it was one way or the other.
As strong as Dean was, you knew that he wasn’t strong enough to wait for Sam and still have the energy to hold the vampire on you.
He knew it, too.
You closed your eyes when you saw his hands starting to move away from the vampire’s jaw before they slipped off and he was out of your sight.
You didn’t blame him. It was a tough call to make, and if the roles were reversed, you were sure you’d make the same choice.
That’s the life, after all.
You were barely conscious enough to recognize Dean dragging you away to prop you up against a wall with a grunt. You heard the rotting door of the barn get kicked open, and you blinked your eyes open enough to see Sam finally make an appearance with the med kit that you stashed in the Impala.
“Where the hell were you,” Dean spit at his brother with venom. You heard Sam’s voice, but the words were garbled and you couldn’t put together what he was saying.
Your voice rattled a moan without your control, like a ghastly breath escaping your lungs in an attempt to cling to life. Their voices came to a hush as Dean returned to kneeling at your side.
“Hey, hey sweetheart,” his hand cupped the side of your face while the other remained pressed harshly on the gaping wound in your neck, “I need you to focus on me. Just keep your eyes on me, everything’s gonna be alright.”
You knew you were at the end of your blood tank; in reality, it was a miracle you were still awake at all.
Fuck.
You moved your jaw, Dean’s hand riding on the side of your neck in an attempt to keep the wound covered.
In no human realm should you be awake or alive in this moment.
But, as Sam shoved thick pads of gauze into Dean’s hands, you felt the world stop as a new smell cut through the one of your blood.
A deep, unsatiated hunger, as if you hadn’t eaten since the moment you were born, dawned on your tongue. It didn’t pile in your stomach like normal hunger; it coursed through your body, wracking you with the urge to find the source of the smell.
Dean.
The smell was coming from Dean.
You forced yourself away from him, kicking against the rickety floor of the barn as he looked at you in shock.
“What are you doing? You’re going to bleed out, please, I know it hurts, but…” his words died in his mouth as you slowly stood to your feet, feeling around the site of the wound. Your hand moved on your skin, slipping in your blood but not dipping against the gaping holes you knew should’ve been there.
“I need you two to back up away from me, please.” You stated as calmly as you could. Something was clicking in your jaw, and you guessed it was the new teeth forcing their way through your gums.
The two of the brothers stepped away, Sam a little faster than Dean, as you dug your nails into a wooden beam to stop your feet from moving.
You watched them from a distance, whispering to each other with occasional glances your way.
Dean took a step towards you, his hands in front of him cautiously as you firmly planted your feet to the ground.
“Sam says he and Samuel may know how to deal with this, he thinks they might have a cure. I’m going to grab the guy that turned you,” he turned to the body slowly, keeping eye contact with you, “and we’ll need you to come with us. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”
You craned your neck to look around before your eyes were burned with the light creaking through the walls. It burned like the sun had come down to Earth and set it on fire, swirling up to your brain and distorting your thoughts.
“Dean,” you heaved out, planting your hands firmly over your eyes, “I don’t think-” your brain felt too light to form more words. Everything was too bright, too fast, too much.
Your body buckled at your hips as you heard one of the pair approach you. Hands lightly pressed at the backs of your legs, and you were swept off your feet.
When you woke up, you were sat upright in a chair, alone in one of the many rooms of the Campbell’s compound. You recognized it as one of the rooms dedicated to the many monsters the Campbell family took in; the barred door locked from the outside.
You gasped, holding back a gag as you tasted your rancid breath.
“Y/N?” You heard someone call out your name from down the hall, and you scrambled to the bars, wrapping your hands around them.
“Dean?” You called out with a weak voice. The owner of the voice turned down the hallway, revealing Dean’s broad figure walking swiftly to you.
He knelt in front of the bars, gaze sweeping over you, taking in your ragged appearance.
“Hey,” he said, voice low and steady. “How are you feeling?”
You laughed bitterly. “Like something chewed me up and spit me out.” The words felt strange coming out of your mouth, as if each syllable scraped against your throat, raw and foreign. You tightened your grip on the bars, the metal cold against your clammy skin.
Dean nodded slowly, glancing down the hallway where Sam and Samuel’s muffled voices were discussing… something. Something about a cure. A way out of this. But you could tell by Dean’s face that the chances weren’t great.
“Listen, they’re working on it,” he said. “Sam and Samuel think they might be able to stop this, to reverse it somehow. You just have to hang in there.”
You met his gaze, searching his eyes for any sign of certainty, anything that might give you hope. “And if they can’t?” Your voice was softer than you’d meant, but you had to ask. The hunger clawing at your insides was getting stronger, more insistent, and it terrified you more than anything else.
He exhaled sharply, pressing his forehead against the bars. “Then we deal with it.”
You felt a shudder run through you, half from fear and half from the hunger that twisted your insides at the scent of his blood. “Dean… you don’t get it.” You tried to explain the gnawing feeling, how you could practically taste his blood just by being this close. “I’m not safe, not like this.”
Dean’s jaw tightened. “Then I’ll find a way to make you safe. Whatever it takes.”
Just then, Sam and Samuel came down the hall, carrying an ancient-looking book and a glass filled with a thick red liquid. You guessed it had blood in it, by the smell, but various other scents in the drink made you want to double over. Dean turned, his face hardening as he looked at them.
Sam cleared his throat, glancing at you behind the bars. “We… we think this might work. The cure’s based on a blood transfusion from the vampire that turned you, mixed with some ingredients Samuel and the family found.” He met your eyes, his expression somber, with a blankness in his eyes. “It’s gonna hurt. A lot. But if you can make it through… there’s a good chance we can turn you back.”
With a nod, you stepped away from the door, allowing Samuel to unlock it with a key he pulled from his pocket. Dean stared at you intensely as Sam crossed the threshold into the cell. He handed you the cup and quickly stepped back out of the room.
Before either Sam had a chance to close the door again, Dean stepped in.
“What are you doing?” Samuel asked, creaking open the door so Dean would have the chance to leave.
“If this has the chance to kill her, I think we owe her enough to not let her die alone in a cell like some damn dog,” Dean said harshly.
Sam looked as if he was going to say something, but Samuel silently closed the door and locked it.
“Dean,” you groaned out, the ache of your new sharp teeth erupting past your gums making it hard to speak, “you shouldn’t have done that.”
“I know you, and I know that out of all of us, you’d be the one with the most control to not eat me alive.” He said wryly, sitting against the wall opposite of you as you leaned against it.
You smiled despite the pain radiating throughout your body. The drink in your hand smelled like blood mixed with something bitter that sat in the back of your throat. You looked a Dean for a moment, before raising the cup a little in a ‘cheers’ motion and starting to slam the liquid down.
It burned like the first time you drank booze, but there was no warm and fuzzy feeling when you finished. You coughed roughly, dropping the cup and leaning over to sputter your inside up. Dean moved to you within a second, hand holding your hair out of the way as you finally opened your eyes to see what was escaping you.
Blood.
Blood shot from your lips over and over, the only relief found in the form of Dean’s hand gently rubbing your back as your body purged the vampirism straight from you.
You didn’t know how long you spent ridding the disease from your body, but it was long enough to create a puddle of blood that soaked into the jeans you were wearing. You brought your nose away from the smell, not realizing that the hunger in you had finally stilled. Every inch of your body was stretched and burning, but the smell that Dean carried with him was finally gone.
He leaned back against the wall again, bringing you against his chest as he whispered near-silent words of encouragement and comfort. The two of you sat in that cell for what seemed like an eternity, not bothering to call out for anyone to let the two of you out.
#spn#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fic#dean winchester x you#dean x you#dean x reader#sam winchester#supernatural#castiel#samuel campbell#dean winchester angst#hurt/comfort#angst#fanfic#destiel#deancas#dean winchester smut#supernatural fic#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural reader insert#no beta we die like men
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MDZS AU #7: Jiang Wanyin’s Dog
Jiang Cheng & Wei Ying time travel back to the Wen Indoctrination camp.
They didn't ask for this. Wei Wuxian's Happy Ending is gone. Jin Ling's Whole Life is Gone. But no time to unpack any of that, they fight the Xuanwu of Slaughter the day after tomorrow. They have to get on the same page. Their family is alive again. They have to get this right.
Last time around, Wei Ying created distance between his actions and Jiang Cheng’s orders.
(Partially in order to excuse his shidi from blame when he did something grotesque or anti-establishment or unsuccessful. Partially to obscure which orders he physically couldn't follow. Partially because his mental health was truly, exceptionally bad — he distanced himself from lots of things!)
It could be argued that this strategy didn’t pan out super well, in the end. Not a very fun conclusion.
And the reasons for that distance don't exist anymore considering 1) Jiang Sect is un-massacred and can properly throw their weight around to shield their terrifying unorthodox disciple from backlash when he does terrifying unorthodox things. 2) Wei Ying doesn’t have a golden core shaped secret to hide from Jiang Cheng. Wei Ying has less secrets from Jiang Cheng then he’s ever had.
(Mental health could be better, but it also could be a lot worse)
So they come up with a different plan, whispering furiously under Wen guard, bedrolls pressed close together, cheeks still holding a little babyfat.
Wei Wuxian will be the perfect servant in public, obeying his gongzi’s orders without question. In exchange Jiang Wanyin won’t order him to do anything he wouldn’t want to do anyway. Wei Wuxian will still get to do all his stupid heroics — he just has to wait for the go ahead, to provide the undeniable impression of perfect unity. Jiang Wanyin will give that go ahead, even if it has to be through gritted teeth.
Bear with me now: this leads to a gradual yungmeng bros reconciliation. Basically the emotional equivalent of tensing a muscles as hard as you can on purpose so that when you relax it, the background strain also releases a bit.
To start — Wei Wuxian is the new core melting hand, except even scarier.
Did you hear he summoned an ARMY of the damned to protect Lotus Pier?? And that the only one who he listens to is Jiang Wanyin? Apparently Jiang Wanyin confronted Wen Chao over using human sacrifices, and when Wen Chao threatened him, Jiang Wanyin gave the word and Wei Wuxian killed a hundred Wen AND the Xuanwu of Slaughter!!! Did you hear he ripped Wen Zhuliu heart out of his chest?? What a terrfying head disciple! How long has Jiang sect been hiding this??
The two really, really have to work together, very consistently, without hiccups, and as much practice as they have fighting this specific war together, they also have hella baggage and different priorities and Wei Ying is NOT keeping up the Super Serious Servant act in private.
(they can’t speed run, alright? Wen Chao's early death and the Jiang Sect surviving pretty fundamentally alter following events, rendering specific future knowledge less useful. Not to mention, it takes time for Wei Wuxian to figure out how to balance his golden core with massive amounts of resentful energy. He's got qi to deviate, and there's a good few months where they're fairly sure he's driving himself into an even faster grave than his first life. I mean he figures it out, he's a fucking genius. But early on there's a non zero amount of bleeding from the eyes and running into bushes to puke blood while Jiang Cheng pretends that he's only stressed about this for purely pragmatic reasons.)
So daily private meetings to debrief and strategize and yell at each other and maybe horse around a little. It's the only time they get to step back from the terrifying teenage war leaders thing and be a more raw, complex version of themselves. Getting back in sync after everything. Maybe getting in sync for the first time — how much of their childhood were they dancing around issues of worth and place? How many of their worst arguments stemmed from one giant secret?
Jiang Cheng making progress on his Wuxian shaped self-esteem issues largely by faking it-till-he-makes it.
“You think I feel embarrassed to be second best to my own disciple. What, are you fucking stupid?? How do you compare to him, huh? He’s going to ascend to be a death god or some shit like that. It’s a ridiculous comparison — I’d like to see how you would have done, growing up his shidi. Grow up and fuck off.”
Say stuff like that enough times and you might… actually start to believe it. Huh.
Both of them somewhat expecting cocky, mouthy Wei Wuxian to bristle more about the subservience thing, but honestly? It's cool.
For years, supporting Jiang Cheng was the only thing Wei Ying truly wanted. Yes, he wants other things now too, but Wei Ying still wants to follow Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng is good at politics, at leadership. He rebuilt his sect back to greatness from the ground up. Wei Wuxian's 'leading a sect' experience culminated in being feared by the world and slowly starving to death on an all radish diet. (yes, obviously, there were extenuating circumstances, but regardless — I don't think leading anything larger than a night hunt is on Wei Ying's to do list).
Jiang Cheng expecting criticism in private and not getting it. Waiting all day to be torn apart for his fuckups by an unfiltered Wei Wuxian, only to instead be praised for his battlefield calls and handling of difficult negotiations.
He was a sect leader for two decades— his stupid shixiong's approval should not be able to affect him like this.
The thing is, Wei Wuxian's got effective free reign on his areas of interest — protecting people he wants to protect, inventing, and fighting people he wants to fight. Wei Wuxian has bountiful self esteem. It's annoying to not say whatever he wants whenever he wants, to bow that low, to mind his titles, to walk five steps behind, but it doesn't actually make him feel bad.
Once they’re eating A-Li’s soup … and it sinks in that their parents, their sect, their sister is alive… and they're drunk crying together... and they really really really did miss this, having someone who got their jokes, who could distinguish between their mock outrage and real fury…
Reconciliation starts completely in private but frankly enough time of Wei Wuxian Perfect Discipleing in public? Jiang Cheng is like… ok I thought I wanted this... but its actually not my kink. Please push back when the Jin start talking shit. I’m so, so tired. I've been tired longer than you've been alive. I don't want to reserve all my amusement for hidden moments any more.
Almost seamless public facing transition from ‘rabid dog on a short chain’ swinging to ‘my good right hand.’ Wei Wuxian gets to start being a little shit again in public, but he reigns it in quickly at Jiang Cheng's signal, and teasing A-Cheng stays private. Honestly — a boundary that might have helped them a lot in their first life!
As a result of gaslighting people that however they act that day is how they've always acted, most people are left with the general impression of Wei Wuxian as ‘trusted loyal hound,' who also happens to be absolutely fucking terrifying. Which. Isn’t exactly wrong so, fuck it, fine. Wei Ying honestly could not give less fucks about 99.9% of people’s opinions.
...Lan Zhan is living a dark romance novel, but that's a different post.
My MDZS AU Masterlist
#the larger Jiang family reaction to and place in all this is also a separate post#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#yunmeng bros#my au#mdzs au#mdzs au no 7#time travel
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Solavellan ending and why I hate it
Major Veilguard endgame spoilers under the cut.
I beat the game two days ago and I haven't been able to stop thinking about that ending. I'm not going to get into the rest of the game's flaws. They've been covered at length. But all of those issues aside, the one perfect, untouchable thing I thought I had left as the game drew to a close was the Solavellan ending. After all, Trick wrote the original Solavellan romance and the incredible continuation of it in Trespasser. As lead writer, they were directly responsible for making it happen. I thought we had this in the bag.
So on one hand, my favorite Dragon Age romance finally reunited and disintegrated off into the sunset.
On the other hand, he did not choose her.
This is what ruined it for me. I know a lot of people have issues with her sacrificing her life to join him in the Fade, but that was really a secondary issue for me.
What was the point of their entire relationship if, in the end, when it REALLY counted, he was never going to choose Lavellan over tearing down the Veil? Why did it take Mythal, who he actually killed in the last game in order to take her power, to convince him? Where's the romance in that?
This literally just turned into the story of Lavellan and the elven god who did not love her enough.
Okay, yes, the gamified reason it takes Mythal to convince him is because Lavellan was tacked onto an existing avenue of dealing with Solas rather than being given her own separate option, right? At the end of the game you have the choice to either fight him, trick him, or (if the Mythal-related criteria is met) invoke the essence of Mythal contained in the statue. No Bring Out The Big Guns, Lavellan option.
In my opinion, she should have been the fourth option, only available to players that have an Inquisitor that romanced Solas and encouraged Lavellan to reunite with him mid-game. It would have required about as much effort to do this as it did to have him turn her down once again (which, I maintain defeats the entire purpose of the story being told here). That would have been the absolute easiest fix to this fucking mess.
I understand why Lavellan wasn't counted among his regrets and therefore wasn't in the Lighthouse murals (because he doesn't actually regret falling in love with her) and I acknowledge that getting real closure from Mythal is important to Solas's story, and that it did have its place in that ending scene. Whether she was a lover or a mother to him isn't really the issue here -- it's the fact that she holds sway over him where Lavellan apparently does not. Despite the fact that, again, he killed Mythal in the previous game, despite the fact that he couldn't bring himself to kill the Inquisitor for the anchor, despite the fact that Lavellan was the one single thing in the world that made him really want to walk away from his plans.
(Why wasn't the "I release you from my service" a conversation had between him and Flemythal back in Inquisition? And why is that essence of Flemythal (who now exists in Morrigan) suddenly so chill and pro-Veil? Do we not remember the reckoning that will shake the very heavens? The She was betrayed as I was betrayed, as the world was betrayed? I will see her avenged? No payoff? None? There's so much wrong and bad writing to unpack there, but this is still a Solavellan post.)
Back to him wanting to turn away from his grand plan. The fundamental difference between Mythal and Lavellan, in my opinion, is the way each of them saw him. Mythal asked him to change for her, to leave the Fade, to commit atrocities with her out of love and service. Lavellan only ever loved him as a man, never once asking him to change for her, never asking him to be anything other than himself. In the time they were together, he was able to be the person he wanted to be. It took a very specific set of circumstances and a very specific person that had to fall into place for that romance to happen, which is arguably what made her so special, and what made their time together even more so. It followed, especially with what we know now, that he would want to drop his grand plan to be with her.
In comes Veilguard, which introduced a parallel between Solas/Mythal and Solavellan. In the second memory, we discover that Mythal never once chose Solas over her duty to elvhenan (even when he begged her to lay it down and run away with him) and dragged him along with her to commit unspeakable atrocities (in her words, she broke him). Solas (at that point in the game, when we were witnessing the memories) had yet to choose Lavellan over his crusade, but quite literally loved her too much to bring her along with him. He would not let her do that to herself, he would not do to her what Mythal did to him.
Here's where I feel like I'm losing my mind, because I thought the point of that mural was to foreshadow him eventually choosing Lavellan, as he is very much not Mythal, and is very much looking for a reason to lay it down, to be proven wrong. I also thought the blurb in the Inquisitor character creation menu (who did you romance) was foreshadowing it, as well as the mid-game choice Rook can make to encourage her to reunite with him and change his heart.
So why didn't it happen? I can only assume because they didn't actually want to have any of our choices carry over, let alone the Solavellan option (which they should have realized from the start was a bad call and also fucking impossible to manage given that the game is a direct sequel to Inquisition). The fact that Lavellan is tacked onto an already existing scene rather than being given her own is evidence of this. However, even if she had to be tacked onto the Mythal scene and not given her own, a simple reordering of the events would have fixed the fucking ending. So it could have gone two (very easily manageable and not too much extra) ways:
Remove the part where he turns her down. Remove the entire thing. Morrimythal could have flown up to him before the Inquisitor even arrived on scene, we could have had our statue moment, and just when he thinks he's going to be all alone behind the Veil, Lavellan shows up, they reunite, and she goes with him. (Easiest way for Bioware to fix it imo)
Lav acts as the ace up our sleeve, a fourth option (and a second option to make him lay it down) instead of using the statue to redeem him. Mythal releases him from her service AFTER he chooses Lavellan, thereby releasing him from his guilt over her. I prefer this one. It should have been this. They could have walked away, they could have tied themselves to the Veil, either way works.
Now, I am among those that think the Veil should have come down, which would have rendered this entire thing moot, had it happened. But since Bioware is dead-set on maintaining the status quo in Thedas, it should have been this instead.
In writing this I wonder if I've been completely delusional over their relationship, but going by the reactions to this ending, it seems that what we got was not at all expected.
#veilguard spoilers#solavellan#solas#inquisitor lavellan#lavellan#dav spoilers#datv spoilers#bioware critical#dragon age#dragon age critical
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Eeeeee! I'm so glad you're back. I always end up down loading your drawings just so I can save them and be happy!
Also, please tell us more/draw poor sick kalmar union Noway if you'd like? No pressure, ofc, I just love historical hetalia stuff. <3
Heyy! Please, go ahead, I'm glad to hear my art makes you happy. And sure, I can share some ideas I have about Norway during that time! But I didn't know what to draw for this prompt, will you forgive me?
A little history lesson is probably in place. Norway was a mighty kingdom during the Middle Ages; having overseas territories and the mainland extending all the way to the Kola Peninsula and parts of modern-day Sweden. But by the 14th century, the Scandinavian royal families were extremely intermingled. After the Fairhair dynasty's male lineage died out in 1319, the throne of Norway passed to Magnus VII, who in the same year became elected as king of Sweden as well, merging the two kingdoms into a personal union briefly - until Magnus' sons inherited their separate kingdoms. Magnus' younger son, Haakon VI, inherited Norway as his realm and ended up marrying the Danish princess Margaret, who'd eventually unite all the Scandinavian kingdoms under one crown and form the Kalmar Union in 1397.
However, earlier in 1349, the Black Death arrived in Norway through trading ports and hit the country devastatingly, killing over 60% of the population. Notably, the plague hit all classes of society, even the nobility and clergy. As a result, many powerful Norwegian noble families died out, straining Norway's position among the European powers. But perhaps more devastatingly to the nobles, farmsteads, if not entire villages, around the kingdom died out as a result of the plague, weakening rent and tax revenue. All of this left the Norwegian monarchy weakened in terms of manpower, noble support, defense, and economic power.
Though Norwegians rebelled a few times against the Danish-favored policies during the Kalmar Union, the Norwegian population and the Council of State were still too weak to secede from it. Sweden left the union in 1521, but the Norwegians couldn't do the same, due to their military inferiority to Denmark at the time. During the reformation battles, King Christian III orchestrated an invasion of Norway in 1537 and incorporated the country as a puppet kingdom under Denmark.
"The diminished Norwegian nobility was not able to protect the political rights of Norway in the Kalmar Union and the military power was lost to Denmark who used mercenaries from Germany; the Norwegian merchant class lost their power of the Norwegian economy to the German merchants of the Hanseatic League who established themselves in Bergen; and the dead Norwegian officials were replaced by German and Danish officials appointed to administer Norway for Denmark; all of which has been described as the decline of Norway under the Danish dominance of the Kalmar Union." [x]
And on that note...
I think all of this historical context about the country could be reflected in Sigurd's (Norway) character. His horrible health condition could explain his role shifting in the family, which left him in Magnus' (Denmark) and Björn's (Sweden) shadow for centuries to come.
Due to his poor health, Sigurd could not attend meetings, which led to decisions being made without his presence. Also due to his health, many of his former roles and responsibilities were given to other people, cutting his purpose in the union. He also couldn't work a job to sustain himself, so he had to rely on other people to keep him afloat, which only worsened his situation and made him financially dependent on others. All of a sudden his attendance or opinion didn't matter because his opinion could be outvoted by others in (and out) of the union. He was probably also unaware of agreements and plans that were not formally discussed, giving him reason to believe he was lied to or purposely kept in the dark about things that also concerned him.
While Magnus had found his place among other Nations, maintaining relations and seemingly enjoying his position, Sigurd couldn't do the same. Being bedridden and weak made maintaining friendships beyond the household practically impossible. Crashing down from his peak, and not being able to meet the expectations he once was meeting, would certainly affect Sigurd's mindset and self-image negatively. He was embarrassed and hid, sheltering himself basically. While Sigurd and Björn had grievances certainly even back then, I feel like they could still relate to one another, if not through their circumstances then through perspectives, which made them extremely close. They both had a harder time adapting to change, at least when compared to Magnus.
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Whatever happens next, one day historians will have to explain why a candidate who earlier this year had been presented as disciplined started to veer off into unrestrained racist rhetoric and dancing for 40 minutes to his own playlist. Was it age, as plenty of commentators have speculated? Was it a brilliant attempt to balance dehumanizing attacks on minorities with an effort to make himself look human?
A much more sinister explanation must be taken seriously. We still assume that we are witnessing two campaigns for the presidency. But what if we are witnessing one campaign and one slow-motion coup, whose organizers need to go through the motion of campaigning for the plan to work? Since winning at the ballot box does not matter, taking a break to listen to Pavarotti isn’t a problem; conversely, a festival of racism and conspiracy theories, as at Madison Square Garden, is not about convincing any undecided voter, but motivating committed Trumpists to go along with another coup attempt.
To be sure, this can also sound like conspiracy theory. The point is not prediction, but to call for preparedness. After all, there is an overwhelming number of reasons why, should Trump lose, he will once more try to take power anyway. His followers have long been primed to assume that evil Democrats will steal the election. The unchecked racism fits into a logic of far-right populism more generally: far-right populists claim that they, and they alone, represent what they call “the silent majority” or “the real people” (the very expression Trump used on January 6 to address his supporters).
If far-right populists do not win elections, the reason can only be that the majority of the electorate was silenced by someone (liberal elites, of course). Or, for that matter, people who are not “real people” – fake Americans – must have participated in the election to bring about an illegitimate outcome. This explains the Republican obsession with finding proof of “non-citizen” voting.
Dozens of lawsuits have already been launched to put election results into doubt. As in 2020 and early 2021, Trump is likely to make sharing his lies a test of loyalty.
Here analogies with other far-right populists are again illuminating: it is doubtful that all followers of the far-right Law and Justice Party (PiS) in Poland truly believe that relatively liberal prime minister Donald Tusk had colluded with Russians to have the country’s president, a member of PiS, killed in a plane crash in Smolensk in 2010. But professing the Smolensk conspiracy theory was not about making an empirical statement; it became a means to signal membership of a political tribe.
In theory, Republicans could seize the chance at last to break with Trump, who, after all, has only delivered defeats to the party. He has stated that he will not run again (though it would of course be naive to take any of his promises at face value). Yet there were already plenty of incentives to get rid of Trump in early 2021, and still Republicans did not disown, let alone impeach, him.
Most worryingly, Maga members have been primed to resort to violence. Trump and his allies – including the world’s richest man, who just happens to be a rightwing extremist – have framed the election as an apocalyptic battle. If Democrats win, Musk has claimed, there will not be any proper elections ever after; they will bring in more foreigners to secure a permanent majority. It is already half forgotten that Trump held his first major rally this election cycle in Waco, Texas.
Who knows whether Trump can really mobilize large numbers of people on the streets; it might be enough to prolong a sense of chaos. Vance has claimed that the 2020 election was problematic, because so many citizens had doubts about its “integrity” and Democrats prevented a “debate” which the country needed to have (never mind that Republicans had created the doubts in the first place). How long a debate would Vance like, exactly? Incidents like the infamous Brooks Brothers riot, where rightwingers in fancy suits stopped a recount in Florida in 2000, might accompany this debate. After all, as Jack Smith has claimed, Trump campaign operatives in 2020 already issued the order: “Make them riot.”
The hope may well be that, if decisions are kicked to the correct court, things could still go Republicans’ way. Trumpists know from the US supreme court’s decisions about ballot access and immunity earlier that some parts of the judiciary have given up on any conventional legal logic; they are likely simply to deliver whatever benefits Trump. The conservative justices’ decision this past week allowing the removal of voters from the rolls in Virginia so close to the election – a clear break with precedent – might well have been a preview of what a court captured by Trumpists is willing to do.
To be sure, the system as a whole is less vulnerable than in 2020. What is officially known as the Electoral Count Reform and Presidential Transition Improvement Act of 2022 makes it harder to challenge results in Congress; the theory that legislatures could overturn the outcome – popular among Trumpists in 2020 – has not found much legal support. But since Trump has everything to lose (including his freedom, given the charges still pending), there’s every reason to think that he’ll try everything.
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Who allowed them to grow up?! Now they're going to have to deal with what? Communication issues AND bills?
Go on, go on, just walk away Go on, go on, your choice is made Go on, go on, and disappear Go on, go on away from here... The Cure - In Between Days
ch 107
When serious work needs to be done in the shop the significant others get invited. Not sure if Joe knows something is up, but it's nice to see Aya-chan is automatically included along with Kanna. It's going to take a village at this rate.
So this has been stressing Mitsuki out too, huh. Is that going to be about their relationship, Prom, Hime's house invite? The list is growing.
"Ah...for now, I guess I'll just help out at the store. Why?"
So at that point she wasn't hatching her own plan to invite Aya after all? Maybe she didn't know about Prom at this point.
It is nice to see Hime-chan was being really official with her invitation. Business card and everything. And it's actually nice her dad is just inviting her to a curated event instead of like corning her himself. She can network on her own timeline perhaps.
If Mitsuki had green eyed interest at the time....
...Aya is absolutely irradiated.
It doesn't seem like Aya had overheard all the details about the hallway invitation back then. Just that she didn't get to Mitsuki first for the 25th. I don't think she'd be this good at faking surprise.
Meanwhile Kanna has been quietly starring in her own romcom this whole time. Agu, please write them an omake when everything is is said and done.
It's interesting that Mitsuki is the one who brings up Prom and acting upset to miss it. Maybe you should have asked her to Prom yourself, silly.
I wonder if she's already decided Aya's the one so she skipped a few mental steps (that Aya needs) to make that clear they are a forever pair. Even if Aya backed out of asking there was no reason Mitsuki couldn't have just asked herself.
Joe recognized Aloud Records immediately. Must be big time then.
"But, it's on the 25th..." OMG MITSUKI. Did she really think it went without saying that they'd just be going to Prom? Without ever asking Aya?
"Who cares?! What Prom." Yup. Aya has killed her emotions dead already.
She is not going to do anything to impose on Mitsuki. She was really close to it last chapter, but from her POV she already missed her last chance. Now she's just going to be a cheerful supporter. Nobody can take being her first fan away from her. And good fans don't get in the way of the rise of their oshi.
Liar. She spared no thought to her family when she saw that Prom poster. She's going to go home that night and have a private meltdown. It's in her schedule at this point.
Look at Aya go! Best fan anyone could ever want. Not over compensating at all. Everything is FINE. Just like with their failed game of catch.
Dang, they are looking older in the face now.
"I guess this means we made up..." - Mitsuki Koga
No, it means she's given up on her romantic feelings in order to at least have this much.
And spare a thought for Narita. He'll possibly fail his tests because he spent his time setting up a Prom for these two idiots. Neither of which will be attending as it stands now. A true Olympian of yuri enjoyers.
Since I missed their faces and need the pick-me-up here's some Joe/Kanna (Joanna? JoKa?). At least things seem to be turning around for Joe a bit.
#the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all#arai sumiko#green manga#yuri#manga#the guy she was interested in wasnt a guy at all
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