#going thru gender crisis rn

[sugawarassoccerlover]

help gender crisis

am i a demi boy

am i genderfluid

am i demiflux

am i pangender

am i a trans dude

am i agender

what am i

[the-good-luck-anomaly]

HEY COMRADES. does anyone have any good sources for getting binders built for fat fooools like me.

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

Hey, I'm sorry in advance that this is super long and feel free to ignore this ask if you can't or don't want to answer it, I appreciate being able to just rant somewhere anyway :) I am an aro-questioning ace girl, and I have been struggling to figure out if I'm arospec or not because there have been some people that I have gotten really attached to but I don't know if it was in a romantic way? There was this girl who I thought was really really pretty and her smile made feel so happy and warm and nervous inside. Even though there were other more "conventionally attractive" girls out there but I only felt this way around her... Maybe that was aesthetic attraction? I wasn't that close to her, but I wanted to talk to her and see her smile, and we didn't have anything in common but I still wanted to be close to her... I've NEVER felt this way for anyone else and I'm 18 and I know that it's common for alloromantic people to have felt at least very mild romantic attraction to more than 2-3 people by the time they're 18, and it's been 3 years since then, and I haven't felt this around anyone else, so I can't help that maybe I'm making up these feelings? Just so I could "have a crush"? Or maybe they're just strong platonic feelings? I guess I'm just looking for some sort of confirmation because honestly I can't deal with not having a label to put to my feelings, and I've tried going label-less for a long time. It was easy for me to figure out that I'm ace, cause I just heard the description and was like "oh shit, i thought everyone felt this way" but figuring out my romantic orientation is a whole other ordeal cause I don't want to kiss anyone ever, and wanting affection can be very much platonic, so I can't really differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction. I have one other aroace friend and they don't have the same problems, so I don't know.

Sorry for this being super super long

Anon Im slapping you in the face with a wet fish rn DON’T APOLOGISE!! THATS WHAT IM HERE FOR!! IM HERRE TO HELP YALL DONT SAY SORRY!!!!

Gonna be honest, that sounds like romantic attraction to me, but it could still be platonic attraction. My suggestion is talk to some of your alloro friends and ask them to describe what romantic attraction feels like to them, and see how close your experiences with this girl are to what theyre talking about.

Bestie I HIGHLY doubt you’re making up these feelings—why would you make up smth you’re having a whole ass crisis about?? Capital U Unlikely

Not everyone feels romantic attraction at the same time, even alloro people. I had friends who had crushes by 1st grade and I never liked anyone til 5th grade. Shit’s different for different people.

Honestly this is gonna sound very like facebook mom so I’m sorry in advance lmao but my advice is Just Chill. Like don’t get me wrong man I know exactly the kinda shit you’re going thru (I went thru the same thing w gender) like the whole anxiety hyperventilate I need to know what I am thing.

But you gotta fucking breathe dude. Inhale, exhale. Like. You may be aro, you may not be. And that’s okay. The more you try to frantically try and find a label the more confused and frustrated and mad you’ll get. So you gotta just let things be, yknow? Shit’ll fall into place eventually.

Like I used to frantically try and label myself like oh i’m genderfluid wait am I maybe I’m a demi boy maybe I’m genderfaun fuck what’s going on I feel like shit—then I realised it doesn’t fucking matter as long as I’m being myself, and not overthinking everyone to shit. I let mysrlf be, and then I realised oh shit, I’m a trans dude. Okay yknow what good for me, slay!

So here’s my advice. You like this girl—good for you, slay! Maybe it’s platonic, maybe it isn’t, but either way, you like her, so spend time with her. Don’t sweat it mate. If she makes you happy, whether it’s as a friend or as a potential girlfriend, be with her.

Hope I could help you out!!

[silverthered]

i think i might be nb transfem i have no idea im going thru 938474 gender crisis mode rn

[mistergoddess]

tbh i think like. i have frankly not had much therapy at all in the grand scheme of things and considering how severe my mental health problems have been thruout my life, and i've had a lot more exposure to things like institutionalization, medication, and idk more intense things like hypnosis, ketamine, and emdr than i have regular degular therapy so maybe my meh feelings towards classical therapy are a bit unearned but i also think that comes with like. the times i have tried to access it, have been times where i've been in such crisis that it's not the appropriate treatment so of course it's failed and i've given up on it very quickly. i think where i'm at now where my mental health could be better and i definitely still have some low grade depression and anxiety and just ye olde ptsd and the shit that always does, i'm really like. doing quite well compared to most of my life. and my main issues are more the kinds of things that would be helped by counseling, like relationship/socializing shit and loneliness and motivation and work, life changes and planning and hopes and dreams... really just having someone to talk to about my feelings and stressors! like i'm in a place rn where i'm good and i don't need crisis intervention or anything intense, that just regular therapy and literally just having someone i can talk to about daily life problems, could actually be extremely lovely and helpful and give me some great forward momentum...

i'm also pretty interested in gender therapy tbh because i'm really over the moon about starting transition but i do still have issues w the social aspects of it and definitely family stuff and i have some pretty gnarly trauma related directly to transness and the abusive relationship with another trans person i was in as a teen when i first sort of identified myself as trans, as well as trauma related to transphobia in school and stuff, all of which. kept me in the closet for a lot longer than ideal and is why i'm so proud and amazed that i'm still transitioning and coming out now... and like just general growing pains and the interesting funky mental aspects of going thru puberty again and watching urself change ! and the general fucking all consuming terror of doing this shit in the south in the current climate! and self advocacy and stuff! it's all just... i think gender therapy could actually really really be amazing for me

but i feel like there's also a weird personal stigma i hold of like. oh gender therapy is only meant for people who are questioning to like "explore their identities" and "figure out if transition is right for them"? and i don't want like my identity or transition to be put into question at all... and i think that's kind of a sad stigma to have come to mind when i think of gender therapy and i'm sure it could be true if i didn't shop carefully and find the right person who sees the broader needs that could be met by gender therapy but idk. i think. the options locally are prob pretty fucking sparse but it may be worth me asking around at the local lgbt center and trans ppl in the lil queer group i've been hanging out with a bit the past couple weeks and see if anyone knows what's good. in general i just wish i had ppl to talk to about transition and coming out shit bc i do feel really alone and not knowing where to ask questions or get answers and advice and i know it's all online out there somewhere but it's just very broad and overwhelming to figure out where to even start there like... idk... might fuck around and join reddit again?????????? lol... but itd be nice to find other local trans ppl who are willing to have it be a main topic of convo wahh

[0-iz]

when my ex called yesterday she told me her sibling is going thru a gender crisis rn and i reflexively said "interesting" and ex goes "NO [name] is not one of your bugs in your jars. i am though and im a snail."

[butcharyastark]

me since i was 15: i’m definitely nonbinary, that’s me completely

also me somehow since i was 15, in the back of my mind: you’re probably a trans man tho

also also me since i was 15: stop faking you cis girl liar

[krisisanerd]

he's got nice hands. his hands are huge. i was watching him wash the dishes. his hands are huge.

[literaphobe]

The best way to explain Dream vs. Purpled is that Dream has accepted that being the best requires him to practice and not self-sabotage by sabotaging others. Purpled is cocky and a lil' arrogant and comes off a lil' obnoxious because he wants to win. Dream wants to win but in a way where it's fun because it's a game. Purpled wants to win because it's a competition he can prove himself in. I don't know how to explain my thoughts beyond that - I could be biased or a little bit scrambled because I'm going thru a gender crisis rn and hoped this could distract me lmao

i see good luck w ur gender crisis anon

[fastestboyalive]

(( WOKE IN A COLD SWEAT AFTER DREAMING ABOUT A THEORETICAL TEEN TITANS CARTOON REBOOT, IT WAS WILD, IT WAS VERY ROUND,,,,, I JUMPED TO DRAW EVERYONE BEFORE I FORGOT, DETAILS UNDER A CUT OH MAN

okayokayokay, not everything makes a ton of sense, it was a really long, disjointed dream of misadventures. it was also a much “happier” teen titans, all of them were doofy teens?? just. doofy.

Terra is the team leader of this “v2″ Teen Titans- Robin was the leader of the last one, then went through an identity crisis, then Terra took charge on a mission and he was like “listen how would you like to be leader for a while? i can help you out, but i just can’t do this rn”

she’s GREAT at it.

......... it’s twice as heartbreaking when she “betrays” the team. :’( she couldn’t handle the gig, and had shit goin on y’know

Beast Boy is the NEWEST member, shows up on a mission and offers to help the team.

in the dream he just kept giving weirdass nicknames and refused to call people by their actual names; robin was “Main Character Guy” bc his hair was “main character colored, like in anime”

he is so skittish

he is also weirdly cat-boy-shaped??? tail n’ all. HIS HANDS ARE NORMAL, BUT HE WEARS PAW GLOVES?????? sure, whatever why not

Raven is very chill. very quiet, doesn’t talk much. she has headphones on usually.

her skin is purple-y. cartoon demon-y.

because she can’t allow herself to “feel” emotions, she expresses herself thru art. fashion. music. poetry. she has a lot to say when she DOES speak. she is always listening to heavy metal, it keeps her calm.

wears nazars/evil eye charms and has them ALL OVER her room.

Starfire has a different accent like every day. that’s it that’s the hc. 

she uses she/her pronouns, but she is NOT a girl!!!!  her gender is “glorzmek”.  demigirl or nb is probably closest.

she’s seven feet tall, what a goddess

hair has.... “eel dynamics”. and it color shifts like an oil spill, it just looks like it’s always moving.

curious about EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! also free love hippie vibes.

Robin is doin’ great and is having a good time!!!!!! good for him!!!

used to be team leader w the Fab Five, but the Teen Titans is sort of a revolving door of members lol. following an identity crisis though, he decided to take a step back, for his mental health and everyone’s sake.

he is REALLY REALLY BESTIE with cyborg and kid flash!!!!!!!!!

HIS HAIR.... IS DIP DYED................. ROBIN’S EGG BLUE. I CAN NOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP, THAT’S JUST HOW IT HAPPENED,,, happened during his ‘identity crisis” and bitch, same.

Cyborg is also much happy-go-lucky-er!!!! 

only half of him is really robo-cyborg-ish??? and also his right thumb is a prosthetic??? he thinks it’s very funny to detach it and just place it in friends’ hands; “I’m giving you a thumbs up :’) .”

i, uh... i can’t explain the mechanics of his design, not even a little. his limbs/joints are encased in clear puffy plastic, like... baymax-style. the “blue” parts are compartments of “coolant liquid” around his brain, heart, and... shoulder?????? oh yeah his brain, it is. visible. think Boskov from “Evil Con Carne”?

idk he’s a delight and makes the worst jokes

Kid Flash is basically the team medic haha. he loves extreme sports, but is VERY safety conscious.

always has his trusty backpack on- cushions from falls, has a first-aid kit, extra snacks, etc.

elbow/knee pads and wrist guards. his sneakers are just... normal. idk, seems like bad design but he just wears converse??

VERY friendly, VERY enthusiastic. also very calm??? team therapist.

The “bad guys” in the dream were Cheshire, and this other chick??? i had no idea who she was in the dream, and she was nameless, but as i was drawing her i was like “guhh this is Tigress now i guess, only makes sense??” i know, they’re swords not archer shit. i didn’t make the rules. maybe she reforms later on down the line and trades the swords for her old childhood archery equipment, decides she prefers the detachment of long-range combat from short-range,,,,

that was super rambly about a theoretical non-existent reboot/character. anyways, they’re both the “huntsmen” for some big secret evil organization. idk what it is. probably the Brotherhood of Evil.

both of them are silent. they communicate through body and sign language. totally wordless.

EXTRA/MISC HC’S???

Terra and BB are besties, but it’s her helping him come into himself.

Raven, in dream, did very monotonously say, “Gay rights”, so jot that down

Robin/Cyborg/Kid Flash are BEEEESSSTTTIIIIES, absolute troublemakers, “boys-will-be-boys” shenanigans. idiot jocks.

Star is tight with EVERYONE. she and cyborg have a secret handshake.

Robin and Raven will sit on the sidelines and just gossip.

BB’s eyes do that weird fuckin cat nocturnal thing and just go RED in the dark. terrifies everyone. 

Kid Flash is literally just vibing!!!! you know Hermes in “Lore Olympus”? that’s kid flash in this reboot i guess.

Robin will pop up out of fucking nowhere. he’s real smug about it. no one hears him, and he just. Poof. startles you.

when Terra is frustrated her skin... dusts? just puffs dust around.

Kid Flash and Terra have Sunday Morning Brunches together. helps her unwind/vent, mostly an excuse to get SO MUCH BREAKFAST FOOD.

i cannot stress enough how goofy the teens are, this dream had a younger target audience, they absolutely did not take being stalked by evil agent hunters seriously one bit. and it was an intensely choreographed fight-chase-dodge-tease scene, the fuck, why can’t i write that shit in real life. god i would pay money to watch this show. ))

[starvels]

Is there a Steve/Tony AU you dream of but haven’t either found or would be to much to write yourself? We all got that one lol.

i mentioned a few for that ask meme a bit back but two that i am thinking of rn would be a stargate au (my first fandom i love and miss you) and a massive sweeping steve rogers 1940s historic bisexual meets tony stark 1980s historic queer.

this story is written in a choose your own narrative style methodology. one chapter allows you to read chronological steve's story all the way thru to tony's and the other chapter, nonlinear, tony's POV interspaced with steve's.

chronologically: the first scene opens with steve flitting through the gay scene of NY, the bone deep reality of a disabled guy trying to make ends meet and curling his long fingers around the bright points in life. then we go with him into the army where guys are just all over each other for comfort and then to paris' queer scene, mourning the remains of the german queer scene, and then the ice and then waking up and acclimating and meeting out of the block these wild avengers and reading the news and see how things have changed, how they haven't. and then there's tony. tony who is a queer gender flexible person living through the height of the AIDS crisis, has been a public figure, whose own sexuality and status have been the target of so much speculation and vitriol. tony however, who both as iron man and tony is so open with affection with steve.

maybe steve's got a steady assurance in his own sexuality, has had good experiences with people of all genders, has done drag alongside soldiers, has whistled a tune. maybe tony, for all his knowledge of the gay club scene, is a complex mix of terrified of the ongoing crisis around them, (is that part of the reason stark ind got involved in medical research and tech?) and fervently, defiantly fuck-you-queer.

maybe there's a charity gala. maybe there's an interview. maybe there's an identity reveal. maybe there's a heated kiss in battle.

the story weaves around the reality of superheroing, the reality of trying to do the right thing as a flawed human being, the way even people that they love & that love them have some fucked up views sometimes. sometimes, steve&tony themselves have them. the news runs in the backdrop like static, and the story conducts a swaying compare and contrast of their lived experiences, the way that they get to talking to each other - behind masks but open about things much deeper than codenames - and how inter-generational convos about queer history are VITAL, are so enlightening and open up the world to a whole new side of your community that you never considered before.

i would like to see how they look at each other when its not just tony showing steve the future, it's not just steve giving tony hope; it's both of them echoing across time and identity and love and saying gently into the night, we have always been here (in so many different ways).

the story will end on them having breakfast in bed, looking at the sunrise.

[flowerkidlove]

Hey! Can I have literally any pronouns? (Y’see, gender crisis)

yeah! I'm going thru the same rn, if you wanna tell people to use like,,,for example, it/its pronouns go for it! you can totally change them anytime, you know? I went from she/her to she/they to he/they to they to any to they/moth/any in the span of 2 months!

or is this pertaining to the pronoun-stealing fae? *holds out bag of pronouns* you cant take all of them, but feel free to reach in and try some! you can come back anytime for new ones, I add a lot to it every so often

[sxfterhearts]

get to know me!

Tagged by: @mxillusion​ thank you so much for tagging me omg i’m so honoured!! this is the first time i got tagged too hahah i feel you girl, the excitement is real

Rules: Answer some questions and tag some bloggers you want to know better.

Name: Rachel

Nicknames: Rach, Rae Rae, honestly i’ll respond to anything, even if you call me “hey”

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Height: 162cm? Maybe?? 

Languages: English, Mandarin, Malay, ᵗᶦⁿʸ ᵇᶦᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶠʳᵉⁿᶜʰ and i can read hangeul hehe (perks of a senior kpop fan)

Nationality: Australian/Malaysian

Current time: 10:42pm (aka time for me to start writing LMAO)

Favourite season: Winter is my favourite!! I also don’t mind spring and autumn, just not summer bc if you’ve been to Aus in summer it is literally like living in an oven smh... Winter in Japan is probs my fav cos snow hehe

Favourite flower: Roses, baby’s breath and carnations! fun story, my friend who lives overseas got a bouquet of flowers delivered to my doorstep for my birthday ㅠㅠ

Favourite scent: The smell of food (any food honestly i love food sm), coffee (especially when i’m sitting in a cafe and doing work), rain, certain brands of laundry detergent (mhmm that clean, heavenly scent)

Favourite colour: Pastel colours, especially pink but i also tend gravitate towards grey clothes for some reason

Favourite animal: i wish i had a pet corgi!!

Favourite fictional character: for a longgg time i was rly obsessed with harry potter so.. harry potter + the gang LOL

Average hours of sleep: ~7 hours when i have uni but now that it’s holidays it kinda varies - i tend to sleep past midnight and stay in bed til noon hahha

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee definitely!! i have a cup every single day~ although i feel the need to mention my other favourite beverage - bubble tea!!!

Number of blankets you sleep with: Uhm one? (isn’t this the same for everyone o.O)

Dogs or cats: dogs!!

Dream trip: jeju & japan

Dream job: honestly i am going thru like a life crisis rn cos idrk what i wanna do with my life after graduation so yea LOL

Followers: 90 (omg i’m surprised that people actually follow my blog, thank you guys!!! as you can tell from my lack of a theme, i’m pretty new to tumblr so apologies for that...)

Blog established: tbh i opened this blog years ago but never really used it much until this may! i got into got7 during nbtm era and read a lottt of fanfics on here so i decided to start writing again! honestly the best decision i made in 2020 bc although my writings are kinda short/don’t get a lot of attention/aren’t very good, i’m glad that i have a creative outlet to pour my heart and soul into. i think i also mentioned this before that when i write, i feel satisfied bc it’s like i’ve accomplished something for the day! the likes, reblogs, comments and asks that i receive are the cherry on top~

Reason for my URL: i initially wanted it to be sxfthearts bc it’s a u/n i use on other social media sites but that was taken so i used sxfterhearts instead, aka softerhearts. doesn’t really have a specific meaning but i thought it sounded cute and well, soft

Main blog: this one!

Sideblogs: none

Random fact: i was (and still am) a huge exo-l before i stanned got7, like multiple posters in my bedroom, running a fanacc, that sort of thing. i sort of fell out of kpop these past few years but after watching jackson as a judge on a chinese singing show, i started to look up got7 and fell down the rabbit hole! when i first started out, my bias went from jackson to mark to jinyoung/jaebeom, but ofc i love and appreciate all 7 boys! i’m actually a pretty new ahgase but i hope this doesn’t reflect in my writing hahah i’ll work harder in the future to learn more about got7 and produce better, more accurate pieces of writing! thank you for your support!!

Tagging: @prettywordsyouleft​ @jinyoungsir​ @jinseunie​ (omgomg i know we’ve never interacted before but i really enjoy reading your fics and you guys inspired me to write as well!! it’s alright if you don’t do this but yea just wanna say i’m your fan and i appreciate your existence 🥺) also anyone who wants to do this, feel free to do it as well! 💖

[beeapocalypse]

thinking abt lucky and rostislav rn. think they meet like a couple days post very big pivotal Change moments in each others lives (lucky getting dishonorably discharged, idk Abt rostislav) and like connect over that sudden shared lack of direction and also at one point luckys like "sorry man im only talking abt myself rn wait oh shit are you a man. i am. or maybe im not. idk" and rostislav interprets that as deep pondering abt What makes a person a human being while rlly it was a very drunk guy who is going thru a gender crisis

[hkgirl-floating-in-space]

Struggles im going thru rn

Do I want to stay in big, important organisations or institutions to witness or participate in high-profile, significant or even historic events? Or do I want to be as down-to-earth as possible and connect with the small things in my community?

Do I want to spend time and effort on socio-political participation or contributing to the community directly? Or do I want to keep learning, gaining knowledge, cultivate my values, improve my critical thinking so as to make myself a better person and fulfil the curiosity and I have for this world?

Is it necessary to overwhelm myself with politics because Hong Kong is in a crisis right now? Or should I care about other aspects like arts- expression of emotions and ideas during tough times, philosophy- questioning myself and everything, and gender/ lgbt issues- relation to my identity as a bisexual woman

[childlikemperor]

Hey I’m having like my third Gender Crisis and I was wondering how you are able to function without either A: medically transitioning or B: pretending to be your “assigned sex” (I don’t like that term)? Bc I go back and forth between admitting to myself that I’m a man, and pretending to be a woman bc it’s easier. I know everyone’s experience is different and not everyone wants to medically transition, so just ignore if this question makes you uncomfortable !

i completely feel you! i do want to transition exactly bc of that tbh like rn it isnt emotional or financially safe for me to be out so im in this endless loop of trying really hard to acknowledge my maleness so i dont go crazy while also pulling a meryl streep every day pretending im a girl also so i dont go crazy which is driving me crazy... i cant rly help you w much on accounta all that but i can tell u ir experience is valid and relatable and hopefully we'll get thru this soon