#going through my yearbook on memory lane

[samanthasgone]

I found all four years of my high school yearbooks and I remember in my junior year psychology class there was a classmate of mine who plays hockey. Both of our favorite team are the LA Kings and I’m pretty sure that the closest I’ll ever been to a hockey player lol. I wonder what’s he’s up to now?

[gunilslaugh]

Cassette Playlist

Goo Gunil

Summary: Your mom’s old cassette player somehow sent you back to the summer of 1990, where you meet a goofy, yet confident guy. Who might make it hard to leave. (non-idol au) 

WC:11.6k

Warning:none

If this flops I'm never writing a long fic ever again lol

photo not mine credits to owner.

CRASH! SNAP! CRACK! Panic rages through your body as you stare at your mom’s old cassette player that is now in pieces.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And why exactly have you decided to take a trip down memory lane?” you asked your mom. Letting out a heave as you set the heavy box down on your mom’s bed. 

“I watched Jetsons: The Movie yesterday and it got me feeling nostalgic,” your mom answers you, taking off the lid to the box. “My old cassette player!” your mom called out excitedly as she pulled the old device from the box. “I used to use this all the time,” she tells you. 

“I can tell. You used it so much it cracked.” You pointed to the crack that ran across the lid to insert a cassette. 

“I don’t remember it having a crack actually.” Your mom scratched her head trying to remember if she was forgetting how the player got the crack. 

“Maybe it happened while it was stored. We’re not always gentle with these boxes,” you chuckled. 

“You’re right that could be what happened. We should be more gentle with these,” she states gesturing to the boxes.

“I wonder if it still works?” you wondered, taking the cassette player from your mom. 

“It would definitely need batteries,” she says tapping the battery compartment. “We don’t have the type of batteries it takes right now. I’ll pick some up when I go to the store.”

“You still remember what batteries it takes?” You raised one of your eyebrows in shock. Your mom laughs. 

“I told you I used to use it all the time. I’ll probably never forget what batteries it takes. I bet I could still use this in my sleep,” she affirms. 

“I might have to test you on that,” you said playfully. Your mom smiles and shakes her head, looking into the box again. You join her in looking at the contents of the box. “Is this your year book?” you questioned pulling the book from the box.

“Yeah it’s from my junior year? I think.” You open the book, flipping through its pages. You stopped flipping through the pages when a picture of your mom with some guy caught your attention. Your mom had her arms affectionately wrapped around the guy’s middle. Her head tilted in the direction of the guy too.

“And who is this? One of your old boyfriends?” You nudge your mom with your elbow, showing her the picture.

“Oh um I think his name started with a G. I can’t remember right now, but no he wasn’t my boyfriend, not even a friend really. He was more like a nice acquaintance,” she informs. 

“So this picture is just for show?” you said. 

“Pretty much. That was the first day we met actually,” she tells you. You look at her with your head tilting to the side, as if asking her to explain more. 

“He came up behind me and gave me a really tight back hug. I pushed him away harshly because I didn’t know who he was. Then he began to profusely apologize explaining that he mistook me for someone else,” your mom tells you the story. 

“Oh my gosh that’s embarrassing. I would have died if I was him,” you laughed. 

“Yeah I felt bad for him. Anyway people for the yearbook were coming around, so I pulled him into this side hug to make us even,” she further explained. 

“How kind of you,” you remarked half sarcastically. To which your mom playfully shrugged in response. “Did he ever say who he mistook you for?” you questioned. 

“You’re so nosy and no I never asked,” she tells you. 

“Oh.” you look back down at the picture, wondering who this guy could have mistook your mom for.

After taking the little trip down memory lane you and your mom put the aged objects back inside the boxes, leaving out the cassette player since your mom was going to pick up batteries for it. Then you returned the boxes back to their places in the top shelf of the closet. Proceeding you returned to your bedroom to carry on with your day. You hopped onto your bed, opening your laptop to look for a show to watch. 

Later in the day your mom returned home from running some errands: buying groceries and batteries. You helped your mom put the groceries away. Once all the groceries were placed in their spots your mom excitedly ran to her bedroom to grab her old cassette player. 

“You’re like an excited kid who’s ready to play with their new toy,” you remark. “Well, I guess it’s an old toy in this case,” you added. 

“I am excited,” she states matter-of-factly, opening up the batteries she recently bought. She then opens the battery compartment of the cassette player and carefully places the batteries inside, making sure they're facing the right direction.  Succeeding hearing the satisfying click of the battery compartment closing your mom eagerly places one of the headphones into her ear then holds out the other one for you. You take it from her hand and place it into your ear. She looks at you to make sure you’re ready with her finger hovering over the play button. You nodded at her in confirmation and with that your mom pressed the button. Music began to play from the head phones filling the two of your ears. Your mom begins to excitedly jump up and down at her favorite nostalgic item still working. A smile makes its way to your face as you watch your mom’s happiness. While feeling impressed that the old device still works. 

“This brings back memories,” your mom says reminiscently as she listens to the song. 

“This song is nice,” you comment. 

“You like it?” your mom asked. You nodded your head. 

“You should keep this for a while then,” she suggested. 

“Huh? Why?” Your eyebrows raised in confusion. 

“It made me really happy as a teen. I would like to make you happy too. You’re a bit older than I was when I first got it, but that’s ok,” she explains. 

“Ok sure, why not?” you agreed. 

“Ooh I’ll go grab my other cassette so you can listen to them,” she takes the headphone from her ear before scurrying off to go grab the cassette. When she returns with the cassettes in hand she hands them over with a smile. You didn’t really know how much you would use the cassette player, but you figured you could at least listen to each cassette once. See what kind of music your mom used to listen to. You hit the stop of the cassette player and took off your headphone. You wrapped the headphones around the player as you walked to your room. You set the player on your bedside dresser planning to listen to it later.

Later in the evening you helped your mom make dinner. While waiting for your dad to get back from work. Your dad got home while you were dishing up dinner. 

“Perfect timing,” your mom said, greeting him. You all sat at the table together. “I gave y/n my old cassette player today,” your mom tells. 

“Oh really? That thing still works?” your dad asked surprised. 

“Just like it used to,” your mom says. 

“Except for the crack across the front,” you said. 

“I told you I don’t remember it having a crack. It’s a mystery how it got there,” she states. 

“Guess we’ll never know,” your dad shrugged. You all continued to eat, having the occasional side conversation. After dinner you did the dishes then headed to your room. You sat down on your bed. Your eyes fell over to your mom’s old cassette player. You reached over to your dresser and grabbed it, unwrapping the headphones around it. You put one headphone in each ear and hit play on the cassette. Music filled your ears and you rested against your headboard becoming fully immersed in the music. A couple songs played then you came across a song that you really liked. You wanted to listen to it again so you hit the rewind button, but nothing happened. You hit it again and once more nothing happened. You tried again only to be met with the same result. Growing a bit frustrated you smack the cassette player in hopes of getting it to work. You hit the rewind button another time and this time you hear the song begin to reverse. However your room began to look blurry. Like when you pass by something really fast. Then suddenly it all stopped and you were standing in a park? There were some kids running around playing on some playground equipment. Parents sitting on benches. A couple teenage boys were kicking a ball around out in the open grass. You walked around the park stopping under the shade of a tree, trying to gather your senses. Did you fall asleep while you were listening to the cassette? That’s when you notice that the cassette is in your hand and headphones are still in your ears. Much to your surprise the cassette player had been fixed. There was no longer a crack running across it. How was that possible? Was this all just a dream? Right then a ball lands by your feet. 

“Sorry, could you kick it back please?” you hear. You looked up to see one of the teenage boys. You looked back down at the ball then back at the boy. You gave the ball a swift kick sending it back over. “Thanks!” the boy shouted. You nodded in response. Quickly you went back to trying to figure out what was going on. This didn’t really feel like it was a dream, but what else could it be? You look around at your surroundings again. This time you notice that all the clothes people are wearing look like they're from the 90s. Certainly this was all a really weird dream. You began to leave the park not really knowing where you were going. Just trying to find some answers. Hopefully some confirmation that this was all indeed one weird dream. As you were walking you happened to come across a discarded newspaper. You pick it up and flip it around. Your eyes widened as they saw the date: June 3, 1990. You couldn’t really be back in the 90s could you? No, that would be crazy and impossible. There was absolutely no way. Your heart began to pound in fear. If you were really back in the 1990, what were you supposed to do? How did you get here? More importantly, how were you going to get home? You started to rack your brain. That’s when it hit you, the cassette player. You were trying to get the rewind button to work when you were suddenly transported here. You quickly brought up the cassette player. If rewind brought you back to the past  then fast forward should send you to the future as in back home. You couldn't hit the play and fast forward button soon enough. However much to your dismay it didn’t work. Well technically it did work. The song you were listening to began to speed up and fast forward, but you didn’t go anywhere. You weren’t back in your room. You were still standing about a block away from the park. You felt like crying, sinking down into the concrete pavement. 

“Oh hey it’s you again,” you heard a familiar voice. You look up to see the teenage boy from the park again.

“Hey,” you replied. 

“Why are you just sitting here?” he asked. Oh you know just having a crisis. No big deal. 

“Just…thinking.” is the word you decide to go with. 

“Shouldn’t you be headed home? It will be dark soon.” You didn’t even notice the setting sun. 

“Oh um…” If you could you would and really wish that you could. 

“Are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before?” he questioned. 

“Yeah I just got here,” you tell him. The boy has no clue how literal your statement is.

“Are you lost then? I can walk you home if you want? Just tell me your address,” he offered. 

“No, that’s ok.” I don’t have a home to go to.

“Did you run away from home?” he gasped. 

“What? No! I didn't, it's not like-” you sighed. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you,” you say.

“Try me?” he challenged. 

“Fine. I time traveled from the future,” you told him seriously. The boy looked at you for a few seconds before bursting out into laughter. 

“Oh, that’s a good one. Seriously, did you get in a fight with your parents or something?” He takes a seat beside you on the pavement. 

“Told you wouldn’t believe me,” you said. “Just go home, don’t worry about me.” Sensing your upsetness he decides to give you the upper hand. 

“Ok, let’s say I believe you. How did you get here and from where,when?” he questions. 

“I’m from 2024. My mom’s old cassette player somehow brought me back in time. I know that sounds crazy because it is, but it’s true,” you explained. 

“This cassette player?” He points to the cassette player in your hand. 

“Yeah.” You held it up a bit. 

“Can I see it?” He held his hands out. 

“Knock yourself out.” You handed the player over to him. At first he only glances over it, yet he begins to squint at the clear plastic lid of the cassette player. He proceeded to hit the open button on the lid. “What are you-”

“1993.” you hear him murmur. 

“What?” you asked. 

“1993,” he repeated. 

“What about it?”

“It’s 1990,” he reminded you. That’s when it clicked. 

“It’s 1990 and this cassette is from 1993!” you said excitedly. “You believe me now right?” you questioned hopefully. 

“Well it’s not, what did you say 2024?” You nodded. “But it is evidence that you are from the future, so…yeah I believe you,” he tells you. 

“Oh thank you!” you tell him. 

“So what are you gonna do?” he questioned handing you the cassette player back. Your excitement faded away as quickly as it came.

“I don’t know. I just wanna go home,” you answered. The boy looks at you sympathetically. He has no idea how you must feel right now, but it’s clear that you're very stressed about your situation. 

“How about you come stay with me. I could help you figure out how to get home,” he suggested. 

“Thanks, but would your parents be ok with you bringing some random girl home?” you ask. 

“I’ll tell them that you’re a friend who needs a place to stay for a while,” he tells you. 

“What if they ask about my parents? I mean they…haven’t even met yet. They’re both teenagers right now.” The gravity of your situation hits you even more. 

“We can figure that out later. Sitting on a sidewalk isn’t going to solve anything though, so will you come?” he questioned. You thought for a moment. It’s not like you had a better option. 

“You’re sure it’s ok for me to stay with you?” you double checked. 

“Absolutely we have a guest room that you can stay in,” he tells you. 

“Ok thanks uh… you’re?” Something hits you while you’re looking at the guy, whom you didn’t know the name of. He looked just like the guy from the yearbook photo with your mom. “Something with a G” you mouthed recalling your mom’s words.

“Oh that’s right we kinda skipped over introductions. I’m Gunil,” he introduced himself, sticking out his hand. 

“Gunil, with a G,” you didn’t mean to say it outloud. 

“Yep with a G. I don’t think it would quite work with a J,” he joked lightheartedly.

“I’m y/n,” you introduced yourself and finally shook his outstretched hand. That had been waiting an awkwardly long time. 

“Let’s go y/n.” He stands up from the pavement, dusting off his pants. Then he sticks out his hand to help you up. You take his hand standing up. You still had no clue how you were going to get home, but at least you had someone who was willing to help. 

The walk to Gunil’s house didn’t take too long. He lived relatively close to the park. 

“This is it,” Gunil announced when you reached the bottom of his driveway. You felt your nerves begin to bubble up again. 

“Are you sure this is ok? I can figure something else out,” you say feeling uneasy. 

“Like what? Sleeping on a park bench? I assure you it's fine. Now come on.” Gunil starts to walk up his driveway. You follow behind him, nervously fiddling with your hands. “Mom I’m back and-”

“You have a guest,” his mom finished his sentence. After seeing you standing behind him in the doorway. 

“This is my friend y/n and they need a place to stay for a bit,” Gunil said sheepishly. 

“Oh, of course you friends are always welcome here, you know that,” his mom smiled.

“Thank you,” you thanked her.

“Sure thing sweetie, but Gunil, is there any reason why we haven’t met her before?” his mom asks.

“Have you been hiding her from us?” His dad now joined the conversation with a teasing tone. 

“What? No I haven’t it-” Gunil began to sputter, feeling flustered by his dad’s teasing. 

“It’s because I only moved here recently,” you saved. 

“Oh I see. I hope you like it here, but if you’re going to stay with us why don’t you have a bag? Certainly you need more than just a cassette player.” Gunil’s mom looked around for your belongings. 

“I wanted to get permission first. I can go pack my stuff tomorrow,” you told her. You felt your heart pounding. 

“That’s right. I tried to tell her that you would understand, but she didn’t want to intrude,” Gunil backed you up. 

“You’re just a sweet little thing aren’t you? Come on, dinner is ready. I’m sure you both are hungry.” She guides both you and Gunil to the kitchen table. You felt awkward as you sat next to Gunil at the table.

“So y/n where did you move from?” Gunil’s dad questioned you, trying to create some small talk.

You swear you could feel Gunil tense up beside you. 

“Michigan.” Why was that the first place that popped into your head?

“Did you like it there?” he followed up. 

“The lakes were really pretty,” you said the one thing you knew about Michigan. 

“Oh yes! I’ve seen pictures of Lake Michigan I would love to see it in person one day,” Gunil’s mom chimed in. 

“Dinner is really good Mrs. Goo. Thank you,” you state, trying to change the topic. 

“I’m already letting you stay here. There is no need to butter me up.”

“I’m not,” you pronounced, shaking your head. 

“I like her,” Gunil’s mom says and shoots Gunil a look. To which Gunil quickly shakes his head at his mother. A silent plea to ask her to stop. His mother laughs lightly at him. Thankfully you aren’t asked anymore questions throughout the rest of dinner. 

After dinner Gunil showed you the guest room. His mom came into the room holding some pajamas. 

“They might not fit perfectly, but they should be ok for the night.” She smiled at you as she handed them over. 

“Oh, thank you. You didn’t have to,” you said, taking them from her. 

“Don’t be silly. You’re our guest. You should be comfortable,” she insisted. 

“Well thanks again,” you say. Gunil’s mom then steps out of the room, leaving just you and Gunil.  

“My room is right next door”– Gunil pointed towards his room– “And the bathroom is right across the hall. Let me know if you need anything,” he told you. 

“Mmh, thank you” you nod your head.

“No problem.” Gunil turned around and left the room. You looked at the cassette player sitting on the bed. You walked over to the bed, setting down the pajamas that were in your hand to pick up the cassette player. 

“Can’t you just take me home?” you said to the old or you guess it’s not so old right now cassette player. “Please,” you begged, placing a headphone in your ear. You placed in the other one and hit play. Music filled your ears. You pressed the fast forward button, the song played faster. You sighed. Your finger now hovers over the rewind button. What if you hit it and it sends you even farther back in the past? However, on the other hand, what if it sent you home? You took a breath, closed your eyes and hit the rewind button. The song began to rewind. You carefully popped one eye open. Nothing happened, you were still in the guest room. Feeling defeated, you pulled the headphones out of your ears. You changed into the pajamas Gunil’s mom had given you. She was right they weren’t a perfect fit, but they would do. 

Later in the night Gunil’s mom stopped by your door to wish you goodnight. Before you could respond to her you hear Gunil yelling you a goodnight as well through the thin walls. You yelled him a goodnight back which made his mom laugh. Then you wished her a goodnight as well. You made yourself comfortable underneath the covers. Closing your eyes and waiting for sleep to take you away and hopefully back home somehow. 

Upon waking up in the morning it takes you a second to remember where you are. Once you see your mom’s cassette player sitting on the edge of the bed you remember. You were still stuck in 1990. You sat up on the bed not quite knowing what to do. It would be awkward if you just walked out of the room as you are right now right? What if Gunil wasn’t up yet then you would be stuck with his parents. That didn’t seem all that ideal. Your bladder apparently had an answer for you though. The bathroom was right across the hall from you. You would just have to do a quick in and out. You opted for getting dressed first, changing back into the clothes you were wearing yesterday. You carefully opened the door as silently as possible, peeking your head out. When you didn’t see anyone you quickly beelined into the bathroom. You were ready to beeline back to your room however right when you opened the bathroom door someone called you.

“Oh y/n you’re up. How’d you sleep?” Gunil’s mom asked you. You awkwardly stepped into the hallway. 

“I slept good, thanks. You?” you returned.

“I slept good too. Gunil is still sleeping, but I can wake him up if you want,” she offered. 

“That’s ok he can keep sleeping,” you told her. You kinda regretted it though. Maybe it would be better to just wake him up.

“You can come out to the living room. I’m almost done making breakfast,” she tells you. You awkwardly followed her out to the living room. Where you now see Gunil’s dad sitting in the chair. He bid you a good morning as you did to him in return. You tentatively took a seat on the couch. 

“Y/n you never told us why you’re staying with us,” he dad said. You feel your heartbeat pick up as you took a moment to think.

“...Oh my parents are out of town and I don’t feel comfortable staying in our new house by myself yet,” you explained. 

“What’d they go out of town for?” He was probably just trying to make conversation, but you really wish he wasn’t.

“Work.” That sounded reasonable enough, you thought. 

“What do they do for work?” It was too early for your brain to make up these fake answers. 

“They work for a cassette manufacturer.” Gunil answered for you emerging from the hallway. He came and took a seat next to you on the couch. He was still wearing his pajamas and his hair was a bit messy. He looked oddly cute. 

“Gunil you’re up just in time. Breakfast is ready,” his mom informed, coming into the living room. 

You guys all headed to the kitchen, sitting down and eating the breakfast that Gunil’s mom had made.

“Thanks for breakfast mom. I’m gonna go change then I’ll take y/n to go pack her things,” Gunil stated. Just like that Gunil whisked away to his room. You returned to the guest room to grab the cassette player. You had barely grabbed the cassette player when Gunil appeared in the doorway. 

“You ready?” he checked.

“That was fast,” you remarked, taking in his tidied up appearance. His hair was no longer messy and he swapped his pajamas for a black t-shirt and jeans.

“I didn’t want you to wait,” he told you. 

“Thanks, and yeah I’m ready,” you answered him. The two of you walked out of Gunil’s house. “Gunil how are we gonna pack my things when I have no things to pack?” you questioned once you two reached the end of his driveway. Gunil reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

“We have some shopping to do.” He waved his wallet around. 

“Gunil no,” you say, footsteps coming to a stop. Gunil lets out a sigh. His footsteps coming to a stop as well. 

“Do you have a better idea? You can’t exactly wear the same clothes everyday,” he pointed out. 

“I know that, but I feel bad having you spend money on me,” you explained. Gunil takes a couple steps closer to you. 

“Don’t feel bad. I want to. I’ve been wanting to go shopping anyway, so this is the perfect opportunity,” he tells you. 

“Still, won’t it be too much-”

“Shush, your only concern should be figuring out how to get back home. Let me take care of the rest,” he silenced you. He swings one of his arms around your shoulder prompting you to start walking again. When you try to refute again he simply shushes you more.

“Can I ask where we’re going then?” you questioned. You turned your head to look at Gunil, who still had his arm wrapped around your shoulder.

“The mall. It’ll have everything we need,” Gunil answered casually. 

“I haven’t been to the mall in ages,” you say. 

“Really? Are malls not that popular in the future?” Gunil asked with slightly widened eyes. 

“I don’t think they're as popular as they used to be, but plenty of people still go to them,” you answered. Gunil nods at your answer. “How far is the mall?” you asked. 

“About a twenty minute walk,” Gunil answered. 

“Wanna listen to music?” You held up the cassette player. 

“Are you sure it won’t send us to the past?” Gunil jokes. You scoffed. 

“Honestly no I can’t be sure, but it should be fine,” you say. 

“I’ll risk it.” Gunil reaches to take one of the headphones and puts it in his ear. You put the other one in your ear. You hit play on the cassette player, letting the music fill either of yours and Gunil’s ears. To any onlookers you and Gunil probably look like a couple. With Gunil’s arm that he is yet to remove from around your shoulders and now sharing headphones on top of it. You felt oddly comfortable though. This is probably the most relaxed you felt since you had arrived in 1990. 

Upon arriving at the mall both you and Gunil remove the headphones from your ears. Gunil’s arm finally leaves your shoulders. It’s not until he removed his arm that you realized it was there the entire time. Gunil finds that his arm now feels empty that it’s not wrapped around you. 

“Where to first?” you questioned as the two of you walked inside the entrance of the mall. 

“I was thinking we should probably get you a bag first, then we can go get you some clothes,” he tells you. 

“Sounds good,” you agreed. Gunil led you to a shop that had a collection of bags that you could choose from. You ended up picking a blue duffle bag that had teal carrying straps. Next, Gunil takes you to a clothing store. He asked you about your preferences for what types of clothes you like to wear then proceeded to help you pick out some outfits. 

“How about this one?” Gunil asked, holding up a shirt in a color you specifically told him you disliked. You make a very unimpressed face at him. 

“Gunil, I specifically told you I don’t like that color,” you told him. 

“Why? I think it suits you. You look pretty.” He steps closer to you, holding the shirt up to your frame. You feel a warmth trying to make its way to your cheeks. You shook it off. 

“Gunil, no.” You pushed the shirt away from your frame. 

“Come on please. I’m buying anyway,” he pointed. He kinda had you there. He was paying for all your things, so you felt like the least you could do is get something that he liked. Even if it wasn’t something you would pick for yourself. 

“Fine, but don’t keep using that against me.” You pointed a finger at him. Gunil raised his hands in a playful surrender. 

“Ok, I won’t,” he said, happily tossing the shirt with the other clothes you were getting.

Three shops later you convinced Gunil that you really didn’t need anymore stuff. He seemed reluctant, but agreed with you. He insisted that you two get some food before you head back to his place though. You couldn’t deny that all the shopping didn’t work up your appetite, so you and Gunil made your way over to the food court. The two of you got food from a place that Gunil recommended. After getting your food you walked over to the seating area. 

“So how are you liking the 90s mall experience?” Gunil questioned making you laugh. 

“I mean, I don't think it's that different from a modern day mall, but it’s nice,” you say. 

“Yo Gunil! You didn’t tell us you were coming here today. Oh who’s this?” One of, who are assuming, is Gunil’s friends asked. 

“This is y/n. They’re new around here,” Gunil introduced. 

“She looks kinda familiar,” one of the notes.

“I was thinking the same thing,” another one says.

“The park!” One exclaimed pointing at you. “She’s the one who kicked the ball back to us.” 

“Oh, that’s right.” 

“You mean they’re the one-” 

“What are you guys doing here?” Gunil cut his friend off. 

“We were gonna see if they have any new music at the music shop,” One answered. 

“Well then don’t let us stop you guys,” Gunil motioned for them to get going.

“Wait! Wait! Wait! We haven’t introduced ourselves yet,” one says. “I’m Jooyeon,” he introduced himself. 

“I’m Jiseok,” another one said. 

“Seungmin.” The boy gave you a half wave. 

“Jungsu,” he smiled. 

“I’m Hyeongjun,” the last one says shyly. 

“Nice to meet you guys,” you state. 

“You like to listen to music?” Jiseok pointed to your cassette player. You nodded. 

“Yeah you could say that,” you answered. 

“Do you want to come to the music shop with us then?” Jiseok offered. 

“Maybe some other time. We should be heading back now,” Gunil interjected, standing up. 

“Oh don’t be silly Gunil. It’s not even late afternoon yet. Let me see what you listen to, the music store probably has it.” Jiseok reaches for the cassette player you had sitting on the table. Wasting no time in opening it and taking a look at the cassette before you could say anything. “You listen to them too! I-why don’t I recognize any of these songs?” Jiseok starts to look at the cassette closer. 

“Oh that’s be-”

“1993!” Jiseok’s eyes widened. “H-how do you have a cassette from 1993?” Jiseok looked at you in disbelief. You looked at Gunil in a panic. He looked back at you just as panicked. “What’s with those looks? What’s going on?” Jiseok interrogated. 

“Well, you see, I may or may not be from 34 years in the future,” you said. Jiseok’s face deadpans for a moment before he bursts out laughing. 

“That’s a good one. I didn’t think you’d be so funny, but seriously what is this a fake or something?” He waved the cassette in his hand. 

“Listen to it,” Gunil tells him. 

“What?” Jiseok responded. 

“Listen to it,” he gestured for Jiseok to put the cassette back in the player. Jiseok looked skeptical, but he did as he was told. His eyes widened again as he listened to the song he’s never heard before, but is unmistakably from the artist. 

“How is this possible?” Jiseok asked, removing the headphones from his ears. You reach over taking the cassette player back from him. 

“That’s what I want to know,” you sighed.

“Wait a second, are you actually saying that she’s from the future?” Seungmin speaks up. 

“I know it’s hard to believe, but yeah,” Gunil states. 

“Hard to believe? It’s completely crazy!” Seungmin declares. 

“You don’t have to believe it if you don’t want to, but Gunil and I should really get going now,” you say. Gunil gathers the bags of your recently bought items and makes his way to your side. 

“Hold on you can’t just leave after saying you're from the future,” Jooyeon followed after you and Gunil. 

“Ok then you can follow us, but I told my mom we're gonna go pick up y/n’s things. She’ll start to worry if we’re gone for too much longer,” Gunil tells. Like a group of ducklings Gunil’s friends started to follow after you two. 

“We should probably put the stuff into the duffle bag,” you tell Gunil.

“You’re right. Let’s stop for a second.” Gunil stepped aside and the two of you began to pull your recently bought items and put them into the duffle bag. 

“I take it your parents don’t know that she’s from the future?” Jungsu inferred. 

“No, she’s a friend, who moved here recently and is staying with us while her parents are away,” Gunil informed. 

“Do you know where your parents are?” Jooyeon randomly asked. You stopped loading clothes into the duffle bag to think. 

“Umm…if it’s 1990 then,” you pause to do some mental math. “My mom would be sixteen, so she’d be living with my grandparents. I know she goes to the same high school as you guys do,” you say.

“How do you know that?” Gunil asked as he finished putting the last piece of clothing into the duffle bag and zipped it up.

“I saw a picture of you in her old yearbook,” you tell him. It’s a bit ironic that you called the yearbook old considering that it hasn’t been made yet. You go to take the duffle bag from him, but he ignores you and swings it over his own shoulder.

“Oh, that’s how you knew my name started with a G,”’ Gunil commented as he began walking in the direction of his house. 

“Does the name Lee Jooyeon mean anything in the future?” Jooyeon quickly followed behind you both. 

“No, sorry,” you shook your head.

“What about Kwak Jiseok?” Jiseok cut in, appearing beside Jooyeon. Again you shook your head.

“How about Seungmin then? Oh Seungmin,” Jooyeon tried. 

“Oh Seungmin?” you repeated a bit louder. You did recognize that name. 

“Don’t tell us he’s the one who got famous?” Jiseok said. You laughed. While Seungmin let out an offended “Hey!”

“No, he’s not famous. I just know the name because my dad hated him,” you explained. 

“Why would your dad hate me?” Seungmin asked with a bit of hurt in his eyes. 

“I thought you didn’t believe her,” Hyeongjun commented. 

“I-I don’t, not entirely, but if someone hates me,” Seungmin stuttered. 

“Because you always beat him at track. My dad was the top track athlete at his school, but whenever it came to school competitions he could never beat Seungmin. He always came in second,” you explained. 

“So you’re saying your dad is d/n?” he said your father’s name. 

“Yeah, that’s him,” you confirmed. 

“No way,” Seungmin states in denial. 

“What? You don’t see the resemblance?” You turned to face Seungmin. Seungmin leaned closer to inspect your face. You slightly turned your head from side to side to give him a better look at your features. Suddenly Gunil reaches for your wrist pulling you up beside him. 

“It doesn’t matter if he believes you or not. Let’s hurry up and get home,” he quickly said. You can hear the rest of the boys joking about something behind you.

“Mom, we're back!” Gunil shouted upon entering his house. 

“That took a bit longer than I- oh the boys are with you,” his mom says.

“Yeah we ran into them along the way,” Gunil tells.

“Well make yourselves at home,” his mom smiles and steps aside. You all make your way to Gunil’s room, making a pit stop by the guest room you were staying in to set your bag down.

Jooyeon, Jiseok and Hyeongjun made themselves comfortable on Gunil’s bed. Jungsu sat at a desk. Seungmin sat on top of the desk. You stood there awkwardly until Gunil grabbed some pillows from his bed for you two to sit on.

“So if you’re from the future how did you get here?” Jooyeon was quick to ask you more questions.

“This,” you held up your mom’s cassette player. 

“And you let me listen to it!” Jiseok yelled. 

“It happened when she hit the rewind button, not just from listening to it,” Gunil defended. 

“Still,” Jiseok grumbled. 

“Since you’re still here I’m guessing pressing fast forward doesn’t send you back?” Jungsu presumed. 

“Nope,” you shook your head.

“How are you gonna get home then?” Jooyeon questioned. 

“That’s what I want to know,” you sighed. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Gunil told you comfortingly. 

“Maybe it’s cause the cassette is from 1993,” Jiseok spoke. 

“Huh?” you questioned, not understanding what he meant. 

“The cassette is from 1993, so it technically doesn’t exist here yet. Maybe that’s why you can’t go home,” he elaborated. 

“Are you saying I’m gonna be stuck here for three years!” you panicked.

“No,no, no. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Gunil tried to console you, placing his hands on your knee. Meanwhile Jungsu was scolding Jiseok for what he said. 

“What he said kinda makes sense though,” you stated worriedly.

“No, what the others said is right. I’m an idiot, I don't know what I’m talking about.” Jiseok tried to fix the panic he caused you. Seungmin still doesn’t really believe that you’re from the future, but seeing the way you’re freaking out right now makes him want to. He definitely feels bad for you, cause even if you weren’t from the future your situation right now surely isn’t ideal. Gunil is still trying to ease your nerves.

“How about we go to the arcade?” Hyeongjun suggests amidst the bit of chaos happening. 

“I’m not sure now is really-” Jungsu started. 

“I’ve never been to an arcade,” you stated.

“You’ve never been to the arcade? Do they not exist in the future?” Jooyeon asked, astonished. 

“They exist. I’ve just never been,” you informed. 

“Oh, well we totally have to go then,” he said, hopping up from Gunil’s bed. 

“Right now?” Seungmin questioned. 

“Well we don’t know when y/n will return home, so if we want to do something with them we should do it now,” Jooyeon reasoned. 

With that you found yourselves walking to the nearest arcade. Jooyeon and Jiseok practically dragged you because they were excited to play games with you. While Gunil was trying to tell them to slow down, not wanting you to accidentally get hurt. 

The arcade was really fun. It managed to take your mind off your current situation for a while. Jooyeon and Jiseok were excited to teach you how to play the games and maybe tease you when you weren’t so good at one. Hyeongjun was much more chill and helpful when it came to games you had no idea how to play. Gunil stared at you admiringly. He felt like he could relax a bit seeing you genuinely smile and have fun. 

“Are you gonna confess to them before they go back home or are you gonna hide your feelings forever?” Jungsu asked, resting an arm on Gunil’s shoulder. 

“They want to go home. I shouldn’t complicate their situation any more,” Gunil said. 

“You’re allowed to be a little selfish you know?” Jungsu voices. 

“Even if I did confess it’s not like we can exactly be together. Plus I’m sure being in a relationship is the last thing on her mind,” Gunil notes.

“It’s a given that you can’t stay together, but do you really want to give up on being with her, even if it’s for a short amount of time?” Jungsu put to question.

Gunil saw you at the park on the day you first arrived. He thought that you were cute, so he may have accidentally sent the ball he and his friends were playing with your way. He was looking for an excuse to talk to you. When he saw you sitting on the sidewalk on his way home he couldn’t up the god given opportunity to talk to you again. Upon finding out about your situation it was clear that you were very stressed, but Gunil couldn’t help but feel a teensy bit glad. He was able to spend more time with you because of it. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want that. Jungsu told him that he was allowed to be selfish, but he was already being selfish. He didn’t simply offer to help you out of the goodness of his heart. No, it was because he liked you. He was already being selfish with his actions, so he didn’t know how far he should go with selfishness. Would it be too selfish to tell you how he felt about you?

Gunil is interrupted from his internal struggle when he sees you excitedly jumping up and down at a claw machine, reaching down to claim your stuffed prize. 

“Gunil look!” You hurried over to him to show him the turtle you just won. Gunil falls for you even more, finding you adorable. 

“It’s cute,” he smiles at you. He means both you and the turtle. 

After your time spent at the arcade you part ways with Gunil’s friends. Gunil enjoys it being just you and him again. He watches you as you walk looking down at the stuffed turtle you just won. 

“What should I name it?” you asked Gunil for his opinion. 

“Umm?” Gunil thought. 

A loud honk interrupts his thinking. He looks at the sound of the honk seeing a truck fastly approaching you two as you're midway across the crosswalk. Gunil quickly pulls you out of the way of the vehicle. The truck goes wheezing past you two. 

CRASH! SNAP! CRACK! Panic rages through your body as you stare at your mom’s old cassette player that is now in pieces. It was haphazardly shoved in your pocket and the force of Gunil suddenly pulling you must’ve somehow made it pop out of your pocket. 

“Are you ok?” Gunil looks you over still not noticing what had just happened. 

“I’m. I’m. Uh, the- how am I?” Your non-coherently sputter out, pointing at the cassette player.

“What?” Gunil flows the direction of your finger and sees the broken cassette player. Gunil quickly goes to gather the broken pieces.

“It’s gonna be ok?” He tried to calm you. 

“How is it going to be ok? That- that’s my only way home and it’s-” you heaved.

“Look at me,” Gunil says calmly. Your eyes hesitantly tear away from the broken pieces in his hands to look at his face.

“It’ll be ok. There’s a repair shop we can take it too. They’ll fix it,” he tells you. 

“But what if-”

“They’ll fix it,” he told you firmly. 

“Ok,” you let out a shaky breath. 

Gunil and you arrived at the repair shop. You’re shaking with nerves. Fearing for the worst. That your mom’s cassette player will be unfixable and you’ll be stuck here forever. 

“I think it would be easier to buy a new cassette player,” the worker of the shop informed. It made your heart sink to your stomach. 

“It was a gift from her mom. You can surely fix it right?” Gunil told the worker in a passive aggressive voice. 

“Look man-” Gunil leaned whisper something to the guy. “Ok, I’ll see what I can do. Come back in a week to pick it up,” the worker says. 

“Great, thank you,” Gunil said to the worker. 

“Come on.” Gunil wrapped his arm around your shoulder leading you out of the store. 

“Can he really fix it?” you asked, doubtfully. 

“He’ll fix it,” Gunil said confidently. This was going to be the longest week of your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It indeedly was the longest week of your life. Gunil tried his very best to keep you distracted. He wanted to show you the joy of living in the 90s. He took out around town, showing you his favorite spots. He invited you out with his friends (who have started to grow close with you.) You  could never completely shake the anxious feeling in your stomach though. Yes, you were having fun thanks to Gunil and his friends, but having fun didn’t make your problem go away. You were simply making the best out of a bad situation. 

Currently you are sitting on the couch with Gunil, a movie playing on the t.v. It’s the night before you go pick up the cassette player. You bounced your leg anxiously as the fear of the worst began to set back in.

“Are you not interested in this movie?” Gunil asked you. It was an indirect way of asking if you were ok. 

“I don’t think I’ll be interested in any movie. I’m too nervous. What if it couldn’t be fixed?” you told Gunil your worries. 

“I told you it’ll be fixed.” Gunil scooted closer to you on the couch. 

“You can’t know that for sure. What if I’m stuck here forever?” your voice raised slightly. Not because you were mad at Gunil, but because you were terrified of never being able to get home.

“Then I’ll take care of you forever,” Gunil answered. He tenderly took your hands in his. 

“You can’t do that Gunil. You’ve already done so much, too much. I can’t keep burdening you, and your parents,” you argued. 

“You aren't a burden y/n. I took you here because I want to look after you,” he tells you. His thumbs run over your knuckles. 

“Realistically, how long can you do that? Your parents are bound to ask where my parents really are soon. What are we supposed to tell them? That I actually ran away from home? That my parents abandoned me? That I’m from the future?” you ranted. 

“I get that you're really scared and stressed right now, but can you please just trust me. Let me take care of you. We don’t know if the cassette player is fixed or not right now. Let’s at least see how it goes tomorrow,” Gunil proposed. 

“What if it couldn’t be fixed?” you asked again.

“Then you can have a mental breakdown, but I’ll take care of you during that too.” His thumbs stop rumbling your knuckles, but his grip remains grounding on your hands. 

“Why do you care so much?” you questioned.

“Because I like you,” Gunil confessed. Your hands go slack in his due to shock. 

“What do you mean?” you asked not being able to understand. 

“I like you,” he repeated. “That ball didn’t accidentally land at your feet when we were in the park. I purposely kicked it over to you cause I wanted your attention. I thought you were pretty and wanted to talk to you,” he revealed. 

“Then all this time you’ve…” You trailed off, not knowing exactly what you wanted to say. 

“I know that you don’t like the situation you're in right now and that romance is one of the last things that would be on your mind. Which is why I wasn’t sure if I should tell you how I feel, but I’ve really enjoyed being with you this entire time. It’s selfish cause I know how stressed and scared you are. I really want to be by your side as long as I can,” he continued on. 

“I feel most relaxed when you’re with me,” you tell him truthfully. “You’re right romance isn’t exactly on my to do list, but I like being with you too,” you say. A smile tugged at your lips. You moved your previously slack hand to hold Gunil’s hand back. Your words weren’t exactly a confession, but for Gunil they were more than enough. You liked being with him. That alone made him feel over the moon.

Gunil moved to lean against the back of the couch, pulling you along with him. His hands never left yours. Both of your eyes wandered back to the t.v that neither of you were paying attention to. Gunil being too wrapped up in the feeling of you leaning against him and the fact that you liked being beside him, just as he liked being beside you. Your nerves about finding out if your way home was fixed or not definitely keep you distracted. However you also found that the way Gunil was absentmindedly playing with your fingers and the calming warmth that radiated off of him proved to be an equally good distraction. 

Sometime during you and Gunil basking in each other's presence the two of you drifted off to sleep. Your head falling on Gunil’s shoulder and his head resting on yours. Gunil’s hands placed protectively over yours from where they fell in the small space between your two bodies on the couch. 

“He really tired to convince us that she’s just a friend,” Gunil’s mom said when her and Gunil’s dad returned home from their date night to find you and Gunil cuddled up on the couch. 

“The hearts in his eyes were never fooling us dear,” his dad stated. 

“They look so cute. I need to take a photo.” Gunil’s mom quickly and excitedly rushed off to grab the camera. She snapped a couple photos of you and Gunil. Then Gunil’s dad ushered her away from your sleeping forms, not wanting to wake the two of you and ruin the moment.

Your eyes cracked open in the morning, taking in the lighter room. You notice that the t.v has been turned off. Next you realize that your head is resting on Gunil’s shoulder and you can feel the weight of his head resting against yours. You slowly tried to remove your hands out from under Gunil’s. When they were almost free Gunil’s hands suddenly grasped onto your hands, bringing them back to his hold. 

“Gunil,” you softly called out his name. You carefully lifted your head up from Gunil’s shoulder, which resulted in Gunil’s head coming down onto your shoulder.

“Gunil,” you tried again. “Gunil.” You shook your shoulder. Gunil started to stir awake.

“Mmh,” he mumbled, opening his eyes. 

“Good morning,” you told him. Gunil now realizes the position that the two of you are in and sits up straight. Then he realizes that his hands are holding yours. A shade of pink dusts his cheeks. 

“Good morning,” he said. “Do you want some breakfast? We have cereal or I could make some eggs,” he offered standing up from the couch.

“Cereal’s fine,” you say, standing up from the couch too. Gunil and you walk over to the kitchen and make your bowls of cereal. He pulls your chair out for you before you sit down.

“Thanks,” you smiled. He nodded then pulled out the chair beside you to sit down in. 

“Look who’s up,” Gunil’s mom said as she entered the kitchen. You and Gunil each wished her a good morning. “Did you two sleep well?” she asked. You and Gunil share a glance. You both know she must’ve seen you two on the couch.

“Yeah, I slept well,” Gunil answered. 

“Me too,” you followed. Your answer makes Gunil smile and Gunil’s mom certainly doesn’t miss it.

“That’s good. I know sleeping on the couch isn’t always the most comfortable, but you two looked so cute I didn’t want to disturb you guys,” she says. Both yours and Gunil’s faces flared red at her comment. 

“Should we go pick up your cassette player now?” Gunil asked, changing the topic. 

“Yes, we should,” you eagerly nodded. The two of you hurried up eating your cereal then rushed out of the kitchen. Gunil’s mom could only smile, finding you two adorable. 

Once you and Gunil got ready you headed to the repair shop. The closer you got to the shop the more nervous you got. Gunil easily noticed how nervous you were and slipped his hand into your, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“I got you,” he tells you. 

The two of you arrive at the shop. You always thought the saying of feeling your heart in your throat was weird, but now you understand it cause it really did feel like your heart was in your throat. 

“We’re here to pick up the cassette player,” Gunil told the worker. 

“I know, I remember you,” the worker said, giving Gunil a look. The worker reaches under the counter and pulls out your mom’s cassette player. It looks like it’s fixed…accept for a crack that runs across the lid. “I couldn’t get rid of this crack, but it works,” the worker said. 

“The crack doesn't matter. Thank you for fixing it,” you told the worker, taking the cassette player in your hands.

“Just doing my job,” he replied. Then he turns to Gunil, so that he can pay. 

“Sorry about the crack,” Gunil says as you two exited the store. 

“It’s ok. It answered a question actually,” you disclosed. 

“What question?” Gunil asked. 

“Back in the future, my mom and I were going through boxes of her old things. This cassette player was in one of the boxes and it had this exact crack, but my mom had no clue how it got there. She never remembered it having a crack,” you told. 

“Well mystery solved then,” Gunil said. 

“Yeah, mystery solved.” You unwrapped the headphones from around the cassette player and handed one to Gunil. He gladly took it and placed it in his ear. He took this time to wrap his arm around your shoulder, just like the first time you two listened to the cassette together. 

Soon enough you arrived back at Gunil’s house to discover it empty, meaning his parents went out somewhere. The pair of you made yourselves comfortable on the couch.

“So what exactly happened when the cassette player brought you to the past,” Gunil questioned. 

“I told you I hit rewind,” you chuckled. 

“I know that, but did you hit any other button first or?” he clarified. You took a moment to think back.

“I smacked it,” you remembered. “When I first hit rewind it didn’t work, so I smacked it thinking it might get it to work,” you explained. 

“Have you tried smacking it again?” he asked. 

“No, but it just got fixed. I’m scared to smack it now,” you said. 

“I’m not saying to smack it with all you got, but it’s worth a shot,” he stated. You lift your hand to give the cassette player a smack then paused. 

“Are you that scared? Should I do it for you?” he offered. 

“It’s not that.” You lowered your hand. 

“Then what is it?” 

“It’s funny. Most of the time I’ve been here, I’ve been wanting to go home, but right now it feels hard to leave,” you say.

“Well you know I’m not going to tell you to go,” Gunil said lightheartedly. “There’s no guarantee that smacking it would work either,” he notes. 

“I know, but if it does. I think I’d rather try it later.” 

“You wanna go get ice cream?” he suggested. 

“Sounds good,” you agree. 

You spent the rest of the day out with Gunil. Having your ice cream then going to walk around the mall. After the mall you walk aimlessly around the town. 

“Well look who it is?” A voice spoke behind you two. Both you and Gunil turn your heads to see Jooyeon standing there with Jiseok. The pair of them had teasing smiles on their faces. 

“Yeah look who it is,” Gunil said. 

“It’s fixed,” Jiseok pointed to the cassette player in your hands. 

“Yep.”

“Any ideas on how to get home?” he asked. 

“We have an idea, but we don't know if it will work,” you said. 

“How come you haven’t tried it yet?” Jooyeon questioned. 

“Do you want me to leave without saying goodbye?” you said, quasi offended. 

“Of course not. I’d be very sad if you just disappeared. You just always seem like you’re eager to go home, so I’d thought you’d jump at any chance,” he responded. 

“I thought so too, but it’s harder to leave than I expected,” you say looking at Gunil.

“Aww have you grown attached to us! We’ve gotten attached to you too,” Jooyeon and Jiseok pull you into a sandwiched hug. 

“You seriously can’t leave without saying goodbye ok?” Jiseok states pulling away. 

“But there’s no way to tell when I’ll be leaving,” you brought up. 

“We should have a goodbye party!” Jooyeon shouted. Jiseok immediately agreed. 

“If we have a goodbye party and I don’t go home wouldn’t it be awkward?” You asked. 

“Maybe a little, but with a goodbye party we won’t have to worry about not getting to say goodbye,” Jooyeon answered. 

That’s how you found yourself at the very park, where you first arrived in the 90s. Surrounded by Gunil's friends, who are also your friends now too. Pizza boxes litter the ground along with soda cans. 

“I still think this party is kinda stupid,” Seungmin said while taking a sip of soda. 

“So if y/n just disappears and goes back home one day you’re not going to miss them and wish that you could’ve said goodbye?” Jungsu interrogated.

“Whether you believe she is from the future or not. She is still leaving one day no matter what,” Hyeongjun added.  

“But we don’t know when that is, so having this party when we could still see them tomorrow seems kinda silly,” Seungmin defended. 

“Exactly. We don’t know when. She could leave tonight, tomorrow, next week. This way we don’t miss saying goodbye,” Jooyeon said. 

Goodbye parties typically are kinda sad, but you didn’t think this one would feel as sad as it did. You hadn’t really been in the 1990 all that long, yet you’ve made great friends, met a guy who makes your heart flutter and makes it hard to say goodbye. The boys taking the turns saying goodbye to you at the end of the party had all your eyes turning glossy. 

“If I find you in the future then you’ll have to believe me then right?” you asked Seungmin. 

“Yes, if you find me in the future. Looking as you do now. I’ll have no choice, but to believe you.”

“Then goodbye till then,” you told him. 

“Goodbye y/n.” The party ended with a group hug and maybe some spilled tears that no one would admit too. 

“Should I try smacking it?” you asked Gunil. The two of you were currently sitting on his bed. 

“Do you want to?” he followed. 

“With having the goodbye party I feel like I should at least try,” you say. 

“Then let me say goodbye before you do,” he said. 

“Hold on, let me go grab something,” you excused yourself. You went to your room and grabbed the stuffed turtle you won. You returned to Gunil’s room and handed him the turtle when you sat back down beside him. 

“You’re giving this to me?” he checked. 

“Mhm,” you hummed. “I always planned on giving it to you. I doubt it would come back to the future with me anyway, but I won it with giving it to you in mind,” you tell him. “Thank you.” Gunil hugs the stuffed turtle to his chest. 

“It still doesn’t have a name,” you pointed out. 

“I’ll think of one for it.” He already knew what he was gonna name it, but he felt too shy to name it after you right in front of you. He sets the turtle down on his pillow and turns to pull you into a hug. 

“I’m really going to miss you,” he says, resting his head over your shoulder. 

“I’m gonna miss you too,” you hug him back. “I like you too,” you confessed. Gunil pulled back enough to look at you. 

“I’m a little late to say it back, but I wanted to say it before I leave,” you give him a sentimental smile. Gunil smiles at you back and cups your face in his hands. He leans forward, pressing a warm, loving, gentle kiss on your forehead. You close your eyes basking in the feeling of his lips on you. Your hands come up to hold his wrist lovingly. The two of you stay like that for a few moments. Saying nothing, but also somehow saying everything. 

“Give it a try,” Gunil says, pulling away.

“Ok.” You put each side of the headphones in your ears. You hit play then gave the cassette player a smack. You took a breath and hit rewind. Nothing happened. Literally nothing happened. The rewind button didn’t work, the song kept playing like normal. 

“It doesn’t work,” you say. 

“We’ll just have to think of something else then,” Gunil said. 

“No, like the rewind button doesn’t work. Did smacking it break it? This is what I worried about,” you complained. 

“Hey it’s ok. Let me see.” Gunil takes the cassette player from your hands. This time he gives it a smack. “Try it now.” He handed it back over to you. You give Gunil one last look before hitting the button. The song began to play backwards and the room started to blur.

You were back in your bedroom. Only the cassette player wasn’t with you. 

“Y/n can you come help me with these boxes?” your mom asked you. Help her with boxes? Like on the day you time traveled. You checked the date, surely enough it was the morning of the day you left. 

“And why exactly have you decided to take a trip down memory lane?” you asked your mom. Letting out a heave as you set the heavy box down on your mom’s bed. 

“I watched Jetsons: The Movie yesterday and it got me feeling nostalgic,” your mom answers you, taking off the lid to the box. “My old cassette player!” your mom called out excitedly as she pulled the old device from the box. “I used to use this all the time,” she tells you. There it is the very cassette player that took you back in time. 

“So much that it cracked,” you joked. Despite knowing very well where the crack came from.

“I actually don’t remember it having a crack,” your mom said, scratching her head.

“Must’ve gotten dropped at some point,” you say, recalling the memory of Gunil pulling out of the way of the speeding vehicle. 

“I wonder if it still works. I’ll buy batteries for it when I go out later,” she says. You looked into the box and pulled out the year book, flipping to the page with Gunil and your mom. A sad smile appeared on your face. Your finger slowly rubbed over Gunil’s image. 

“He wasn’t my boyfriend if that’s what you’re wondering,” your mom pulls you from your gaze.

“Honey, are you ok? Your eyes are red,” your mom looked at you concerned.

“I think some dust got in my eyes when we pulled the boxes down,” you lied.

“Let me go get you a wet rag,” your mom hurried away. You missed Gunil. You missed him so much it hurt. You want to cry looking at his picture. Now you know he mistook your mom for you that day. That he was probably all excited to see you again, pulling you into a super tight back hug. Only to find out that it wasn’t you. “Here you go. Wipe your eyes,” your mom gives you the rag. You couldn’t hold the couple of stray tears that escaped as you held the rag to your eyes. 

Later in the day when your mom got back with the batteries you listened to the cassette with her.

“Can I keep this for a while?” you asked her. 

“Of course you can! Ooh I’ll go grab you my other cassettes to listen to.” She went to grab the other cassette. You didn’t plan on listening to them though. You were only going to listen to this one and remember your time spent in the 90s with Gunil. Still when she returned you brought the cassettes up to your room and sat them down.

“We found my old cassette player this morning,” your mom tells your dad as you all eat dinner. 

“Oh really? Does it still work?” he asked. 

“Yeah, but it has this crack across the lid that I don’t remember it having,” she answered. 

“Guess it's a mystery,” your dad said. 

“No, I dropped it when I time traveled back to 1990,” you say. 

“That’s a good one,” your dad chuckled. 

After dinner you headed up to your room. You laid down in your bed and listened to the cassette player. Tears cascaded down your face. 

For the next week you cooped up in your room. Feeling what you would call a heartbreak. The worst part was that you couldn’t talk about it. All you could do was listen to the cassette as you thought about your memories with Gunil and his friends. You wished that you could see Gunil one last time. You spent the bulk of your time there worrying about how to get back home, but now ironically enough all you want to do is go back, just one more time. 

“Please, please, just one more time,” you pleaded. 

“Y/n!” You opened your eyes and there Gunil is standing right in front of you. 

“Gunil!” You throw yourself into his arms. He crushes you in the tightest hug. “Wait, how is this possible? I didn’t hit rewind or anything.” 

“I need to do something I really regretted not doing before you left,” he said. 

“What’s that?” you questioned. 

Gunil cups your face just like he did when he was saying goodbye. Expect this time instead of leaning in and kissing your forehead, his lips land on yours. Your hands travel to his shoulders and one of his hands moves to cradle the back of your head. 

“That.” He pulls away to rest his forehead against yours. “I really regretted not doing that.”

Your eyes open and again and your back in your bedroom. You don’t know if what just happened was a dream or not. You decide to go with not because you wanted it to be real. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Honey, can you run to the store real quick? I realized I forgot something for dinner tonight,” your mom asked your dad.

“Does dinner really need it?” your dad asked. 

“Yes, why are you too lazy to go?” 

“No, Seungmin grocery shops today I don’t want to run into him,”

“Are you serious? After all these years do you still hate Seungmin that much?” Your mom asked in disbelief. 

“It’s not my fault I ran into him at the grocery store. He just had to bag his belongings quicker than me. He's a stupidly fast asshole,” your dad complained.

“I’ll go mom,” you speak up. You needed to see Seungmin. 

“Thank you,” your mom told you. 

You arrived at the store, found what your mom needed for dinner and then walked around looking for Seungmin, hoping that he was there. 

“Oh Seungmin!” you called out when you saw a guy that looked like he could be an older version of Seungmin. The dude turns around at you looking perplexed at who could be calling his name. 

“Y/n?” he said. 

“You believe me now right?”

“How is this possible?” 

“You know how it is. Time travel,” you sassed. 

“You look exactly the same,” he says. He’s still partly in denial.

“Yeah, it’s been 34 years for you, but It’s only been a week for me. Are you and Gunil still friends?” you asked, changing your tone. 

“We’re friends for life,” Seungmin stated “Give me your phone,” he told you. 

“Why?” you asked, still pulling out your phone nonetheless. Seungmin took it from you and began to type something in. 

“You should give him a call. He’s been waiting,” Seungmin said. You stare down at the number typed on your phone screen. 

You got into the car and sat down. You stared at the number once more before hitting the call button. You feel butterflies dancing in your stomach. 

“Hello?” he picked up. 

“Hey Gunil,” you say. 

“Y/n?” he asked. He looked over to the stuffed turtle that he still keeps on his bed even after all these years.

“You’ve been waiting a long time right?”

“I’d wait forever if I had too.”

Taglist: @purplelady85, @odesonnets, @gingerjunhan, @chewednails, @ezlynkisses, @mon2sunjinsuver , @mxlly143

[prettyyoungandbored]

Memory Lane - Charlie Dalton

Pairing: Adult!Charlie Dalton x Fem!Reader

Author’s Note: I accidentally created a mini series in which Charlie and Y/N get engaged and have no peace. Oh well.

NOT MY GIF

The party was Charlie’s mother’s idea - not his father’s, not Y/N’s parents, and certainly not Y/N’s nor Charlie’s.

The woman began planning it the moment Charlie told her Y/N had said, “Yes.”

The Dalton mansion was packed with Charlie’s relatives and his dad’s colleagues. Y/N and Charlie’s mothers became thick as thieves and went around mingling with everyone to discuss how excited they were for the wedding.

They did all this while toting Y/N around like a trophy. It felt like a dance number to her - smile, shake hands, show the ring, and say, “I’m very excited.”

And each time she finished, she stood there silently.

By the seventh go around, she wanted to jump out of the window.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you ladies,” Charlie interjected, flashing the classic Charlie Dalton grin. His eyes met Y/N’s. “Honey, there are some people I’d like to introduce you to.”

He curled his arm around Y/N’s waist and led her away from the group.

“Alright, who am I meeting?” she inquired with a tired but persevering sigh.

“No one. I just thought we needed a break from this thing. I set up a little picnic for us in my bedroom.”

She cupped his face in her hands. “Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Not yet but the night’s still young.”

He leaned down to kiss her lips, eliciting butterflies in her stomach. When he pulled back, he smiled at adoringly. “C’mon, the longer we stay in here, the more people will try to talk to us.”

He grabbed her hand and led her through the crowd and up the stairs.

They entered his room where a flannel blanket was laid out on the hardwood floor with two plates filled with food from inside. Beside the plates were two empty champagne flutes and one of the champagne bottles in an ice bucket.

“Pretty nice, right?” he asked.

“It’s perfect.”

She sat down beside him as he knelt down beside her to pour the champagne into the flutes. Once the glasses were filled, he turned to her and raised his.

“To us,” he toasted.

“To us.” Y/N clinked her glass with his before taking a sip.

She hummed in delight at the light, fizzy taste of the champagne. If the Daltons were gonna be the ringmasters of the wedding, at least they brought fantastic champagne.

She then eyed Charlie’s room. It wasn’t much, but it was extremely organized. She imagined it was a chaotic mess when Charlie lived in it, or at least when he was home for breaks and summer.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Charlie asked.

“Just looking at your bedroom and wondering how many girls you brought in here,” she responded cooly, taking another sip of champagne.

Charlie smirked. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Yes you do, Charlie. I’ve heard you on the phone with Knox talking about our sex life.”

“I never said I don’t have sex and tell.”

She snorted as she leaned her head against Charlie’s shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her.

“And for the record,” he began, “I only brought two girls in here.”

Y/N snickered as Charlie kissed her temple. “Also, you’re the only girl I’ve gone steady with that’s been in here.”

She lifted her head up. “We’re engaged but I’ll take it.”

“Someone’s a little jealous,” he teased.

She rolled her eyes. “Ok, Charlie.”

“You don’t need to be, you know. None of those girls-.”

“Are those your Welton yearbooks?”

Charlie’s smile fell as he saw Y/N staring at the bookcase. The twinkle in her eyes made it clear he was gonna have a trip down memory lane.

“Honey-.” He was too late. Y/N stood up and grabbed one of yearbooks from the shelf.

“Oh my god, Charlie!” she beamed.

He sighed. “This is gonna be painful.”

She sat back down beside him and turned the pages, searching for his photo. When she landed on it, her entire face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“You were so cute!” she squealed. “Look at you! You must’ve been very popular with the ladies.”

“I did ok,” he said with a proud smirk.

She made a face, snorting. “You did ‘ok.’”

“What? I did!”

“Hmm, ok. I’ll get the truth from the boys.” Her eyes lit up. “Ooh, show me the guys’ photos!”

“Hand it over,” Charlie said. She handed him the text book. “Now, this was the year before I got expelled so Todd wasn’t at Welton yet.”

He scanned the pages and stopped. “Ok here’s Meeks.”

Y/N glanced down and pouted her lips. “He looks so adorable,” she remarked. “Good to know he’s always been so sweet-looking.”

Charlie scanned again. “Oh, here’s Knox.”

“Another lady killer,” she said.

“And then Pitts.”

“Had you guys gone to my high school, you all would’ve done very well with the ladies,” she said. “My friend Kendra would’ve gone for Pitts. She was big into tall guys.”

He smirked. “What about you? Would you have gone for me?”

She tilted her head. “I would’ve had a crush on you for sure, but I don’t think you would’ve gone for me.”

“I think you’re wrong.”

He knew for a fact she was wrong. The first time he went over to her parents’ home, he saw a photo of her from high school on their mantle above the fire place.

Teenage Charlie would’ve done anything to get her to go out with him.

Charlie returned to the book when his smile faded. Y/N looked to see his finger on Neil’s photo. Guilt bubbled inside her. She didn’t consider this when she saw the yearbooks.

But there was no turning back. The photo and the painful reminder was smiling at both Charlie and Y/N.

Neil had the perfect, friendliest smile. Anyone who didn’t know him would’ve thought he was the golden boy who had it all figured out.

It broke Y/N’s heart when Charlie told her everything, how the poor boy had been suffering at the hands of his father who pushed him into a life that he didn’t want any part of.

“That’s a nice photo of Neil,” she remarked softly.

“It is,” Charlie agreed.

She’d always wondered if she and Neil would have gotten along. She got along very well with the boys, but Charlie knew Neil since there were little kids.

“He’s always with you, you know,” she told him. “I know that doesn’t fix his absence, but I hope it’s at least a nice thought.”

He gave her a small smile before kissing her forehead. “It is. I just wish he was here.”

“Would he have thrown you the best bachelor party?”

The idea lit up Charlie’s eyes. “Oh, without a doubt,” he said. “He would’ve gone all out. There was one time…I think there’s a photo of it in the yearbook. Hold on.”

He turned the pages when he froze on one. Nestled inside one of the pages was a piece of lined paper torn out from a notebook. On said paper was a drawing of boobs.

Charlie’s mouth hung open. He wasn’t sure how the hell that had gotten in there. He turned to Y/N, whose dumbfounded expression melted quickly into laughter.

She threw her head back. “Oh my god!” she mustered out in her laugh. She covered her mouth as she fell forward.

The site of her laughter brought a smile to his face. “It is not that funny,” he said chuckling.

“Oh no, this is hilarious!” she continued laughing.

She leaned and grabbed the paper, holding it up photo for further inspection. “Are these supposed to be nipples? Charlie, why did you draw them like that?”

“They’re not that bad,” he replied, trying to defend himself and his drawing. “Besides, they’re just doodles I did in class. I wasn’t really thinking when I drew them.”

“Baby, you were a teenage boy. You weren’t thinking, period.”

His mouth hung open, a laugh escaping. “You’re the worst.”

She tossed the yearbook and picture onto his bed. She placed the plate of finger food that had been on his lap and put it on his bed as well. She threw her leg over his lap, straddling him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“And yet, you still love me and I still love you even though you draw boobs weird,” she remarked.

He threw his head back. “I love you even though you make fun of my art skills.”

“The good news is that there’s room for an improvement.”

“Oh yeah? Can I use yours for reference?”

“Anytime.”

[lee-jinkis-ponytail]

noooOOOO danggit

i was going through my old yearbooks and found a message from a korean exchange student who was in my french class in 2008. she wrote a cute little message in korean, even though i couldn't read it, and left me her email address.

i've been studying korean on my own for 4 years now, so i was happy to find i could read the message! it was just general friendly stuff -- "since we've been studying french together so diligently, let's practice together, here's my email, visit me in korea someday" etc etc. i didn't keep in touch with her because we were just sort of acquaintances, plus she was a junior and i was a freshman and tbh i was a little intimidated by her and her polylingual skills.

but i went to email her just now, typed out a lovely message to her in korean, was fully prepared to surprise her with how much i've learned and to walk down memory lane together...

and the email bounced back!!!! T_T

i guess it was silly to expect that an email address from nearly 15 years ago would still be functioning but... i was so excited. i thought i'd found a perfect penpal to practice korean. :(

anyway, if anyone knows a girl named kakyoung in korea who studied abroad to america in 2008, pls tell her lee ann would love to get back in touch :/

[artemiseamoon]

Finale: When the lights go out

Fic info & chapters

Preview below, read on A03

An: I started this fic in 2021, it’s always bittersweet ending fics. I feel like I’m sending my characters off into the world, like a mom sending her kids to college. I’ll miss you Omar x rc. 💕

The next day

Tears build in the corner of your eyes from laughing so much and your cheeks hurt. You press one hand against your stomach and use the other to wipe your eyes. In a matter of minutes, the time capsule of your bedroom has turned into a one-man comedy show.

Omar doesn't miss a beat, cracking jokes and doing spot on impressions. For the last hour, you’ve been going down memory lane, it started with old pictures, now you’re halfway through the yearbook.

Omar slept on the couch last night, and he’s been here ever since. His mood was choppy like the sea, it ebbed and flowed. At some points, he seemed in higher spirits, at others, he seemed depressed, but right now he's in good spirits.

Once you reach the end of the yearbook, Omar's face suddenly darkens, and he puts the book aside. He goes quiet. You scoot closer to him and take one of his hands into your own.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

Omar keeps his eyes fixed on the book. “High school was a long time ago. What have I done? You went off to college, followed your dreams…me, what have I done?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Why not? I turned out like this, like nothing. A fucking loser. Nothing to show - "

You release his hand to grab his face, “stop that, Omar. Not happy with the way things went? Then make different choices, better ones.”

His eyes soften, “why haven't you given up on me yet?"

“I guess loving you so much makes it harder to leave.”

“You mean like a friend, right?”

You don’t conform nor deny and look away. You never intended to admit you still love him, you kept that truth close to your heart, but now -

Read on A03

[dubioushonour]

Once, when I was in second grade, my whole group of friends deserted me for the entire month of October. They would completely ignore me if I approached them, or even worse, some of them would run screaming at the sight of me. This spread to kids in the rest of the class. I told a teacher, who scolded them, but it didn't do much.

I was a little too young to really understand the concept of "bullying". I just remember being confused, and hurt, and upset. I spent almost that entire month on the playground, alone.

Almost.

A girl from another class approached me in the sandbox during maybe the second week of October. She was new, she was in another class, and she was alone, too. I couldn't tell you her name anymore. It's just been too long. But I remember seeing her and my first thought being "pretty". I wouldn't learn the term "platinum blonde" until I was much older.

She asked if she could play with me in the sand, what I was doing, and why I was alone. I asked her about her old school, if my sister (who was in her class) was being kind to her.

We hung out the entirety of October. Sometimes in other parts of the playground, but we usually stayed in the sandbox because no one else went there. I found out we rode the same bus home. She lived just up the road from me. We started hanging out outside of school, too. We traded toys, and friendship bracelets, and secrets. She showed me an odd birthmark on her thigh, pure white, and said it was an angel's kiss. I showed her a scar on my arm from when I fell on a go-kart engine the year before.

It didn't matter that all of my other friends had abandoned me, because she was there.

The end of October rolls around on a Friday and my old friend group chases me into a bathroom stall, screaming at me and banging on the walls and doors with a fucking vigor. It's one of the scariest moments in my very short life. I go home crying. I am informed on Monday that the ring leader of the group convinced everyone that, since my birthday is on Halloween, I was possessed by a demon and I was going to hurt them if they didn't do something about it.

They apologized up and down, after the fact, but it was very hard to believe they were sorry.

My sandbox friend, who was not at school on Friday, has a birthday gift for me on Monday. It's a little pair of friendship bears filled with goo and glitter. It's not a hard choice to make. I spend all of November with her, instead, because I'm starting to realize that maybe those aren't the kind of people I want to be friends with. (and I was right, because they bullied me the entire rest of elementary school) (but that is besides the point).

The end of November rolls around.

My sandbox friend is moving out of state.

I spend all of the time we have left trying to make that time stretch. We both know that when she moves, we'll never see each other again. That's just how it was in 2003. On our final bus ride home, the last time I will ever see her, we trade toys one last time. She gave me a blue and white unicorn with a ribbon. I couldn't tell you what I gave her. It's been too long. (it might have been a stuffed dog?)

This pretty sandbox girl is not in our school yearbooks. Not even her name. She wasn't in our school for very long. My sister doesn't remember her being in her class, period, even if she remembers most everyone else. But she did exist. Even if just in my memories, and through an old, ragged unicorn, she existed.

I'm not going anywhere in particular with this. It's a stroll down memory lane. I saw a 2000s aesthetic post on here with those exact friendship bears on it and it threw me back in time pretty hard. I definitely don't have those bears anymore. I'm honestly pretty surprised how vividly I remember that one October when I was 7, turning 8, but I guess your friends trying to murder you in a bathroom is a fairly formative experience. I'm 27 now, turning 28. And it's impossible to think about all of that without also thinking about her, and how she made that entire experience something I can still look a little fondly back on.

Do you think she remembers me, as fondly? Or even at all? Did I make the same kind of impact? Did she keep the toy that I gave her? Or was I just another face for a girl who was in and out of schools faster than they could put her in a yearbook?

It doesn't matter, ultimately.

I hope, wherever she is, that pretty sandbox girl is thriving.

(this is not the exact plushie. I found this one on Google and it's very close. One of my younger nieces swiped the real deal a long time ago and I felt very bad trying to take it back...)

[evaofkonoha]

Like seemingly everything in my life, there's a story to this one. Feeling kind of strange, so maybe I'll delete this later. Unfortunately I'm also insanely impulsive, which is winning at the moment. This is a long one, and if no one ever reads this that's honestly okay. I think I just need to get it out there for my own reasons.

To start, this song was written and recorded as my final senior project at my arts high school, so this recording is old. I performed it and provided the guitar (and tambourine!) on the track. My friend did the drums, mixed, and produced it. Another person provided piano. Okay, all credits out of the way!

I don't think I have ever honestly shared what this song is about. I didn't feel comfortable sharing it at school, so I came up with some silly, vague answer for them to read off at the final showcase and put in the Senior CD.

It's actually about my best friend in high school and I growing apart after I had moved to the arts high school. She was probably one of the best friends I have ever had. We were tight as could be. We did everything together. We even created our own fake religion (much to our parent's chagrin, I'm from the south). We called each other "fave" and even had a handshake type thing we would do. A rumor even spread that we were dating, we were that close (we thought it was hilarious, it was also not true). There were countless inside jokes. We traveled, went to any and all concerts we could afford, hung out all the time way past curfew, had sleepovers, went thrifting and vinyl hunting, almost anything and everything together.

So when I switched schools and we began to grow apart, it broke my heart. There wasn't a big blowout, no massive event. We just, grew apart. Admittedly, there was drama brewing for a while in the friend group around us (which is also sad, as I lost many close friends because of that drama as well) that I think influenced it as well.

I was doing some not-so-spring cleaning today with some stuff I picked up from my mom's house, which had a bunch of papers and notebooks and yearbooks from high school. In the box was a file folder labeled "Top Secret." There is actually nothing scandalous the file, it was just a bunch of stuff we had created and notes from when we were friends. I found a letter that this friend had written for me, and because I am so emotional, I of course cried reading it.

"Anyway, I hope you realize how talented you are. I know we tend to bash ourselves (it's our weird sarcastic behavior) but honestly speaking you have such an inspiring passion for music. Maybe this is crazy thinking, but I just know you will be successful in your music; you are so talented when you perform and the songs you write give me chills."

"I swear we have the same minds; it's so great to have someone to talk about annoying people, the government, school, relationships, music and tea :)"

God, there's more, and it all hits like a fucking truck.

So, that's what this song is actually about. Reading this made me go down memory lane, looking through old pictures with so much teenage dirtbag energy from that time (I wish I could share, but it's obvious why I'm not going to). We got up to all kinds of mischief, but it was so much fun. And it was authentic. Having someone who you can truly be yourself with and spill any and all secrets to is hard to come by.

We very occasionally chat. I actually only reached back out to her recently. We didn't communicate through all of college. Our friendship will never be the same as it was, but it's nice to not be radio silent. We have both moved on and met new people and all of that. I now live so far away from where I grew up anyway. And that's all okay because that's just life!

So, sorry if this is all oversharing, but I do really love this song. It's probably one of my best, if not my best. I wrote in during a meltdown in the shower all in one go, so a true moment of inspiration. Right now, it doesn't feel right to share it and not share the story, since sharing silly stories of my life seems to be what I do on here now I guess.

Again, I obviously can't share all of the photos and stuff that this song stirs up, except for the one I put as the song cover. I usually don't give away feet pics for free ;), but since these are socked feet in socks that we got as a symbol of our friendship (lol, yikes, haha!), I'll make an exception this once. We weren't totally bad kids I promise! Well...

ily, eva <3

[flutter2deceive]

Rambling below the cut omg what is this livejournal in 2009 lmao

I just spent the last like 3 hours going down memory lane via a mix of fb stalking and digging up my old classmates dot com account so i could page through a digitally scanned yearbook from my graduating year but of the school i moved away from in 2nd grade

Because i am rewatching all of project runway and am on pr junior and there's this designer who reminds me of one of my childhood best friends. So i looked up her name on fb and the first girl that came up with her not common name totally looked like the 30-years-older version of the girl i was friends with. Same hair color and a similar style, same eyes. And this girl was married to a lady so i thought "wow this will be the third childhood best friend who has turned out gay too!" But then i did some more digging on linkedin and it turns out this girl graduated high school 7 years after me so i guess it's not her lol. But how weird that i managed to stumble upon some random lesbian with the same name as my friend?

Anyway, looking thru that yearbook (which my friend was not in, so i still have no idea where she eventually graduated from or where she is now), I also saw this guy that used to live across the street from me that i have a pic of us at like 7 years old posing with a baby doll in our easter best, and this other guy from church that i had a "crush" on in jr high (cuz "you have to have a crush on someone right??" lol.) According to fb, they both now have between 4-5 children each

Briefly stopped by the fb page of a girl i had a crush on in high school, who died 10 years ago this year, and had a good cry. We didn't even know each other that well, but i remember her saying she loved the movie "gia" when we were in 10th grade health class and thinking that was so cool. She used to bartend at this bar my work friends always used to go to after 2nd shift and we caught up a couple years before she passed, but still weren't really close. Anyway, a couple of her friends post on her page every year and it's really sweet and sad

So anyway now it's 3am and i am feeling nostalgic and also unproductive lol, and just wanted to type this out somewhere. Really does feel like an old school lj post. Here I'll end it with this

Mood: nostalgic and unproductive

(I used to have a sara sidle mood theme on lj lmao. Also that pic is like 100x80 but gets blown up huge once you hit post so it's messing with the vibe oh well lol)

[fanficwriter284]

Yearbooks

Authors Note: Since my last fic was a little dark here's a more happy one! Enjoy

Tiffany and The twins were going through some old photos and school yearbooks that Tiffany and Chucky had.

"WOW! That's what Dad looked like!"

"Haha. Yep. That's your Dad. He was about 10 in this picture."

"He's had some hair transformations."

"Wow, Mom that's you! I didn't know you had brown hair!"

"Yeah, that's me! Yes, I was originally a brunette."

"You look pretty."

"Thank you, Sweetface."

They fast forward to when they were in middle school.

"DAD HAD BRACES!"

"LET ME SEE!"

Glen took the yearbook and saw his dad with metal braces. He turned a few pages and saw him with glasses.

"Why does DAD HAVE GLASSES!"

"WHAT! HAHAHA!"

She saw the photo and started dying of laughter and Tiffany laughed as well.

"Ok. OK. So the reason he has glasses is because he ran into a tree branch and damaged his eye and needed to wear glasses for a while."

They Glenda found a photo of them at prom.

"Hey look at what I found!"

Glenda showed them the photo of Chucky and Tiffany.

"Wow! You have a nice dress Mum!"

"Mom you look beautiful and Daddy looks handsome and happy. Look how young you two were."

"Are. Not Were" Tiffany joked.

"That was one of the best nights of my life."

Just then Chucky walked in through the front door.

"Hey, I'm home. What are you three doing?"

Then the photo of Chucky with braces and glasses caught him off guard.

"Ahhh! Give me that!" He took the book and slammed it shut blushing.

"DAD YOU LOOKED LIKE A NERD! HAHAHA"

Chucky turned pink and was beginning to turn red. He quickly changed the subject.

"ERmmmm. Uhhh. Where did you find these?"

"Mom showed them to us."

Chucky flashed her a how dare you look! Causing her to laugh.

"We've been looking at these for the whole time you were gone."

"......you have......."

"Yeah.... And Dad we need to talk about your hair phases."

"Haha. Very funny."

He sat down and joined them in a trip down memory lane.

[baekhvuns]

this youth of craziness.

synopsis : in which you are living under your parents dreams, a simple trekking trip makes you rethink your every choice by the one and only choi san.

genre : slice of life, drama, romcom & travel dreams.

word count : 40k 

teaser : here / 

you were the typical student, acing each and every class with flying colours. scoring multiple awards, medals, certificates and badges. all just to decorate your room, hanging on your bookshelf as if they were some sort of a status symbol.

you glanced over at the mess surrounding you, the floor filled with colourful clothes, jewelries and shoes. multiple gifts wrapped in the finest wrappers sat next to you, and you carefully peeked at each of them, making sure that you put the right one in the proper suitcase.

you squinted your eyes, staring at the thin book that hid under your favourite scarf. with a small smile you reached out to grab it, and it makes you smile when you realize it’s your high school yearbook.

flipping through the book, you saw yourself. clad in thick glasses with perfectly ironed collars. you flipped to the next page and saw your friends, seulgi kang. in her dark eyeliner and a red bandana wrapped around her head. a laugh fled your lips as you recalled the old memories, flipping through each page only seeing the fun snapshots of everyone in your school batch. placing the book in your lap, you placed one of your hands on the floor, throwing your head back. a big smile adored your lips, ruffling your hair in excitement you flinched at the unexpected shout for your name. “y/n! are you done packing?” eight years ago, today, your happiness begun.

you hated grocery stores, especially those that your mom dragged you to. always hearing some sort of gossip from the regulars that all co sited around who wore what and who slept with wh-

“oi!” you pause, “what’re you looking at? haven’t you seen a woman like me, with these long and sexy legs?” you look up to see your mom giving you a strange look, her big eyes drawn with heavy eyeliner widening. you shifted your gaze at the girl by the cashier, sporting a black sleeveless shirt with blue shorts. a colourful bandana wrapped around her head, emphasizing her fresh bob. you blinked your eyes at the women, “i’ve seen multiple sexy women, you really aren’t one of them.” a gasp leaves the women’s mouth and your mouth parts in surprise, you watch her  extend her hand forward and slapped the boy’s shoulder. “go to a different cashier, ugh! you cockroach!” you shifted your eyes at your mom who motioned you to go further towards the cashier lane, as she set the products on the conveyor belt. you glanced at the woman standing at the next stand, her eyes roamed the room before landing on you. “wait,” you place a bar of soap on the converter belt, “is that y/n? like our scholar y/n?” your eyes flickered at her, smiling when she recognized you, you nodded. “hey buddy! it’s been so long,” you could gear her excitement and it somewhat made you feel warm inside. “gosh, its been so long, what’re you doing now? working? interning?” she asks, before stationing a cereal box on the counter. “hey, seulgi.” you gave her a tiny wave, as your mother stared at seulgi, and you already knew she was judging her from head to toe. “she’s doing medical, my daughters going to become a doctor, top in her class!“ “of course! that’s our y/n, constantly on the top!” “how about you? what are you doing?” “i’m just praying at this point!” you stifled back a laugh when she responded, the look of horror on your mother’s faces brought absolute joy to you. seulgi shifted her attention over to you, “y/n, what’re you doing for the break? going anywhere?” you looked at her, already knowing what your answer was going to be. “no, i’ll just be staying at home. you know, studying…medicine,” you replied and she nods before your mother decides to speak again. “are you going somewhere, seulgi?” your mother piqued. “of course, i am! i’m going to the hill stations tomorrow.” lucky. “with your family?” “mom!” you but in, not liking how she’s interrogating seulgi when she barely knows her, but then again can you stop her? “ah, no ma’am. i’m going with my best friends, you know y/n? wooyoung and bunny?” your eyebrows shot to your forehead, “or should i say wooyoung and san?”

a smile graces your lips at those names, your former classmates that you had always wondered about. “i’ll see you around, bye y/n!” she waved at you and you flinched from your thoughts before returning her a wave back. then looking at your mother who gawked at you with an amused expression. “miss.” you looked at the cashier staring at you, and you reached out for your purse before being stopped by him. “your friend dropped something.” he extended his hand out at you, and you hesitatingly reached over. scanning the pamphlet that read ‘make my trip’ making you gnaw on your lower lip nervously.

“we met y/n‘s friend today.” your mother started her blabbermouth, and you sighed. “she looked like a homeless person, god knows who’ll marry her.” you looked at her with a scowl. “and what’s wrong with that? let her live her life the way she wants.” you groaned, hearing a scoff from your mother as she irritatedly stuffed her face with tonight’s dinner. “when girls have too much fun, they end up being pregnant!” you hated how your mother was, always complaining over others, comparing others with you as you studied bio-medical while still being top in the class. she always boasted about you to your cousins or friends, and you despised it because in return your cousins wouldn’t like you. you’ve been living your life like that, you were like a status symbol of your parents, being shown off at family functions, oh how, people would love to be in your place. but there was always so much to you than just being a scholar student, being the only daughter of a sergeant dad and a strict mother who was once a teacher, certainly brought a lot of pressure on you. you couldn’t fail, you always had to pass every class with an outstanding score. the pressure was so strong that you hated the way you’d always give in and live up to their expectations, the same old boring way. your life had nothing fun to do, except sit at home in your room, a tiny lamp brightening your room as you wrapped yourself in darkness, glasses loosely hanging over your nose bridge and a mug of tea beside you, as you studied and studied. “at least she has the freedom to do something, unlike me, who can’t even give herself a break from studying!” you mumbled, gathering your parent’s attention. “all i have been doing is listening to you and your bullshit for years, at least she has the freedom to do something she wants to do!” you snapped, your voice reflecting the four walls. the sudden stillness coated over the three of you in the dimly lit dining hall before you decided to speak up again. “my life has no purpose,” your voice cracks and your father looks down. “everyday i do the same. live up to your expectations and become an expert in medicine.” stuffing a spoon in your mouth rather angrily, your mother gaped at you. “did you even ask me what i wanted to be when i grew up? no! because you were so dazzled by the fact that i needed to become a doctor so that i could find an adequate husband.” you sighed, “i can’t even give myself a break on sunday’s, i’ve been sticking my nose up the stupid textbooks you bought!” your mother slammed her cutlery down with a loud clink, “well, do you want a break?” she raised a question and you shut your eyes, slamming your spoon on the table you got up and left to your room. shutting your bedroom door with a slam you hopped on your bed, not caring whatever was underneath you. you were right, your life had no objective, the same boring life you lived every day made you frustrated. you were tired, tired of living the way you were. closed off in four walls while wondering how the world looked like, it was suffocating to visualize how the aboard was like and what it felt like visiting different places when all you did was sit in your room and be ready to get married whenever you parents deem you to be. you lifted your head up slightly, looking at the bedside table of yours that had thick medical-related books piled on top of each other. sticky notes popping out from the side from the several notes you had written, again and again. you were tired, tired of living the way you did. there can’t be anything that can fix your problem, it’s not like you had anyone that you could actually call a friend and prep a trip with them that could potentially transform your life. you lowered your face in your comforter, groaning at everything and anything possible. but then suddenly you shot your head up, your gaze lifted to what was on top of those books, a slim sheet of paper. tilting your head you reached out for it and placed it in front of you. ‘make my trip’

the next morning, your mother got up relatively early. strolling around the house as if to tell everyone she owned it (which, sure she did) ordering the maids to do work left and right while she stepped inside the kitchen. “mrs. rai, have you seen y/n? she’s not up yet.” your mother asked the nearest maid, who replied with a shrug. your mother grimaced narrowly before taking a seat on the table, wiping the nonexistent dust off with the tissue she plucked from the tissue box out earlier. abruptly paused and she looked at the white sheet of paper leaning against the tissue box. “oh, what is this?” she examined the white sheet that seemed like an envelope, that wrote, ”to, mom.” “first, don’t freak out…i’m going…“ she reads slowly with squinty eyes, trying to see as much as she can without the courtesy of her glasses. “oh my god!” “hey! wooyoung, hurry up, the trains here.” seulgi’s voice yelled, slapping his shoulder, as the man had his eyes fixated at the television in front of him. “what’re you doing?! go without me.” he brushed her arm off his shoulder, hearing the people around him talk loudly. “what? hell no, i’m not!” seulgi scowled, seeing the man jump slightly in the air before she rubbed her forehead while sighing.

it’s then when a new voice joined seulgi, wrapping an arm around her shoulder she jutted her chin to point at the very focused wooyoung who had his back towards them.

“hey, beautiful.” he stared at his best friend for a while, “we should leave without him, hm, what say?” he suggested and seulgi looked at him with wide eyes, “what?” “yeah, let’s leave.” he spun her around to walk in the direction of the train cabins, but the two halted when wooyoung decided to finally yell. “are you really gonna leave without me?” he looked back at wooyoung’s face, a black bandana around his head with a white and blue plaid shirt over him, and the signature man bun of his. “well yeah, that’s clearly more important now. you bet on it didn’t you?” he asked, and wooyoung’s face morphed into surprise. “…how do you know?” “i know you better than you know yourself,” he said, smiling as he walked up to wooyoung. “you know what, you’re right. you guys go without me, i’ll go with you both next time.” sighing he grabbed wooyoung’s arm, gesturing with his head to follow the two of them to the train. “how much money did you bet?” “why does that matter? go without me.” “can’t do that, i’ll pay c’mon.” he said but wooyoung stopped him by the hand. “you can’t do that man, that’s your personal savings. don’t spend that on me,” he said, glancing at him with a sad smile. “money is like dirt. if you don’t spend it, what’s the point of it, huh? now hurry up before i beat your ass.” he smiled, draping an arm around wooyoung and seulgi as the three of them walked the hallway towards the train. “we’re gonna have so much fun! we’ll go every single place!” “could you please hurry up, sir? i’m about to miss my train.” you begged the person who sat on the other side of the ticket counter, working at the sped of a sloth, hearing him say something that you overlooked and reached out to get your ticket in a hurry. dragging your suitcase against the gravel and carrying the heavy bag you went on a hunt for the train you were boarding. when you reached the train that matched with the number on your ticket, you sighed in relief and plopped your luggage on the ground immediately with a thud. “uh, excuse me? do you know where hongjoong is? the trip instructor for-” you tapped the man who stood facing his back to you on his shoulder, he turned around while eating the red apple in his hands. “do yo-“ “hey, it’s you!” you looked at the man and smiled slightly, you remembered him, but you’d never thought you’d seen him here, so close to you.

hair pushed back, plain white shirt and ears pierced. gosh, what a combo. “we met at mark’s party?” he asked and you shake your head in a no, politely. “ahah! you’re changbin’s cousin!” “no.” “then, who are you?” he asked and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him. “y/n? modern school, same batch.” you said, watching his face morph into a sudden realization. “oh my god, y/n the scholar?” you smiled and looked down to your feet, flustered at the sudden realization. he grinned and walked forwards pulling you into a tight hug that rocked the two of you sideways. “uh, you can let go now,” you said, feeling kind of overwhelmed. he pulls away immediately before looking at you up and down. confusion stirring in his mind, “but what are you doing here? you don’t seem like the one who’s up for challenges?” you bit on your lower lip as his gaze scanned you up and down. “guess i am now.” he gave you his cheeky smile before nodding and turning on his heels, ready to step on the train. “hey wait! my luggage!” you yelled, his face turned towards you slowly, looking at you struggling to keep your bag in your hand for more than a second. “i’m not a servant, say please.” he said while taking an aggressive bite of the apple, leaning off the door frame of the train while watching at you. “could you please help me pick up my luggage, san?” you pleaded, as your eyes wandered to the red marks decorating on your hands from the heaviness of your stuff. he jumps off the train, apple still in hand and a smirk on his face as he closes the distance between you two. “bunny.” he says, “call me bunny.”

before grabbing your luggage, giving you a wink and getting on the train. he looks over his shoulder, watching you stand with the rest of your luggage and takes the chance to look up and down.

of course, he remembered you.

how could he not? the top-notch scholar, who lived under the dreams of her parents. he smirked, knowing exactly the type of person you were. too naive for the world, always having your nose in the thick books. “hey, y/n.” he called out for you. “y/n!” he called out, again. “y/n!” he yells again, hearing the trains siren ring he panics. “h-hey! oi! hurry up, the trains leavin- oh my god, it’s moving!”

he gives you a frustrated glance, “oi glasses!” as he eyes you standing there dumbly with a maths notebook in hand. “what’re you calculating? come!”  

he then, in a hurry makes the decision to jump off the moving train, of course tripping on thin air before making his way towards you in a hurry. “y/n! we’re missing the train.” he snaps his finger in front of your face rapidly, immediately snapping you back to reality. you stared at him in silence for a few seconds before speaking, “i-i’ve never gone alone like this..anywhere.”

his eyes grow wide slightly, “them come now.” he says, eagerness in his voice. “nothing will happen, you’ll have so much fun, trust me.”

your eyebrows pull together before relaxing and he smiles, “come.”

you had never taken such a bold step in your life, going alone, without your parents. with a couple of strangers that could potentially kill you and there’s no way, your parents would found out. he searches your face, a small smile and a stare of curiosity. you staring in his cat-like eyes that were full of warmth and you nodded, “let’s go then.” perhaps he was right, this would mean take you to a new chapter in your life.

independence.

something you’ve been craving for, you could finally get it and no one will stop you one bit. you should go, you should go. you need to experience this at least once. you reach out for his hand he grins before yanking the both of you to run towards the train, chasing it until he lands first and then extends his hand out for you.

you grab onto it tightly before he yanks you up on the train, in the small compartment. eye to eye while the world around you moved at a speed you weren’t used too.

“are you sure you aren’t following me?” seulgi asked, leaning back on the bench in this small train compartment, fumbling inside her bag to grab out some snacks. “oh shut up seulgi,” wooyoung laughs, “its her fantasy that all the women in the world will come and chase her-“

a loud slap rings the compartment and you gasp, “hey!” a whiney wooyoung responds, rubbing his cheek. “but anyways, how’s our dear scholar doing! finally got the guts?” you smiled slightly, scrunching your nose slightly at the nickname everyone keeps dubbing you as.

being called a scholar at this point haunted you. he reached out to hug and you returned it rather awkwardly before he pulled away, instantly taking out a small bottle of what seemed like alcohol. he must have noticed you staring at the bottle in his hands, that he looked at you and gestured as if questioning if you wanted any. you frantically shook your head left and right a ‘no’ to which he smiled knowingly, “i wasn’t gonna share anyway, scholar.” he stuck his tongue out at you playfully, and you took the time to observe his facial features. as time sped through years, he was no longer the small lil boy, but instead turned into a fine young man who seemed to adopt the personality of a frat boy. shifting your eyes at seulgi who seemed busy on her phone, she hadn’t changed one bit. perhaps the short bob and the style change, she was still the same. if not, the slightest bit on the thinner side since you last saw her, you wondered if she worked out or something and then glanced at your reflection that reflected from the huge window. you were still the same, glasses stuck right on your nose bridge, hair brushed back neatly with no sign of tangles.

wearing a flower-patterned dress and a cardigan on top of it, in case you felt cold. something that you like to call a uniform, there weren’t any major changes in your facial appearance, probably the baby fat going away as you began to mature that revealed a chiselled jawline of yours. sighing you looked up, “hey, anyone have any extra snacks?” shifting your eyes at the compartment door, there swayed a gorgeous girl.

clad in white shorts and a pink crop top that had a ribbon in top. hair brushed to the side, to what they call beach waves as her eyes looked around. “of-f course!” wooyoung replied almost immediately, you gige seulgi a quick stare who seemed to be annoyed at the sudden excitement. “are you guys also on the ‘make my trip’ trip? the trekking?” she questions, her eyes examining you and seulgi. “yeah.”

a short reply left seulgi’s lips and she leaned back while plugging in her earphones, blocking all the noise surrounding her. “ah, sorry there aren’t any snacks.” wooyoung replies with a pout, “aw, that’s alright. i’ll see you guys around then!” just before he turns to walk away, san- or bunny should you say jumps right in front of her.

a smirk on his face as he scanned her up and down, whistling as the girl gave him a shy smile.

san’s and the girl’s body were practically touching each other’s, courtesy of the small and tight hallway. he reached out to place a hand behind the girl, trapping her in his hold. “looking for some snacks, sweet cheeks?” you eyed san disgustingly, although not surprised by his antics as he flirts with every living thing possible.

always the playboy, but it felt like he had levelled up to the max. mixture of a frat boy and a playboy. “if you don’t mind?” you shifted your gaze at the two in front of you, trying not to look at san and the girl who seemed to be under his entrancing gaze. you wouldn’t be surprised if she already fell for him, particularly considering the position they were in.

with looks like him, there’s no way anyone wouldn’t fall in love with him. except maybe seulgi, and his ex’s but then again his exes do keep coming back to him anyway. you remembered these three goofs as the backbenchers, consistently making some sort of trouble and scheming against the teaching system and preaching about how dumb it is and whatnot. you would admire their guts but never thought of being aquatinted with them, not until now. “how ‘bout you join us sweet cheeks? no one minds it here,” he paused to scan everyone’s faces, gaze wavering on you for just a second longer. “we can have all sorts of fun.” he towered over her, whispering in her ear ever so seductively. you didn’t know if he wanted that to be a whisper or a loud call because you sure as hell heard it, and scowled at his behaviour. “how about i bring my friend’s too? my girls are in the cabin next door.” she tugged on his shirt’s button, yanking him closer. and you wondered if they’d make out right there and taint your eyes forever. “the more the merrier.” and with that a rumble of three loud girls joined in your compartment, two of them sitting beside you while seulgi, wooyoung, chanmi (the girl from before) and san sat one bench, curling up closer to each other. one of the girls proposed to play a game of ‘never have i ever’, but with the twist being alcohol.

definitely against the morals you grew up with, so you ignored the alcohol donation. san on the other hand wasn’t letting you have it and instead tossed a bottle of juice that came from somewhere in his bag. “okay! i’ll go first, never have i ever watched porn,” the girl beside you said and everyone drank from their glasses. “daily basis!” wooyoung’s already tipsy mouth spoke. san smiles before taking a sip and eyeing the group, then letting his eyes fall on you when the question arose. “y/n how about you?” you shifted in your spot when the attention came over you, you politely whispered a ‘no.’ “being a biology student and you haven’t watched porn? whatta a disgrace, i’d be thriving off of that.” wooyoung cackled and you plastered a small smile, watching him lock his arms around seulgi’s shoulder. “okay, next question.” you inhaled, “never have i ever fallen in love.” you immediately saw everyone take a sip of their drinks, chanmi gasped at san taking a drink. “you haven’t fallen in love, baby?” she battled her eyelashes at san. “i haven’t, but i think i will soon.” he replies and you cringe, answering that question as he looks right at her. “oh please, we all know san only loves himself,” seulgi said, chugging the alcohol in her hand. “straight facts.” wooyoung added, and san gave them a ‘really?’ look. “um, san.” you mumbled quietly and san glances at you, “can i use your bunker?” you asked, wanting nothing but to sleep.

he stares at you for a second longer before nodding, “thanks.” you whispered before stepping away from the crowd, mumbling sorries on your way out.

just as you were about to head out, a hand wraps around your wrist and you pause to look over your shoulder. your eyebrows furrowed at the sight of san holding your wrist, a small smile on his face before he looks back at the rest.

“hold up,” he whispers before looking back. “i’ll be right back, gonna set it up for our y/n.”

he stared at you and you gave him a puzzled look, confused as to why he was doing this. “why’d you come?” you ask, walking ahead of him as your mind spiralled into thoughts of all kind. “are you planning to like, seduce me here?”

you hear him snort, “i’m surprised you have such words in your vocabulary.” he teased, following you inside the cabin. “i’m lowering your bag, noticed a blanket in there and thought i’d take it.” he said as you sat on the opposite bench, watching his muscular arms extend out to the top, yanking your bag down. “girls like you aren’t made for a quick fuck, y’know,” he says as he fishes for a blanket. you look at him with a frown. “what do you mean by that?” “girls like you are made for love,“ he paused, lowering his gaze at your eyes. “and if i had a heart,” he leaned forward to match your height. “then you’d be the one i’d give it too.”

“you’re laughing, while the poor girl is being trapped in a marriage?” san exclaims, looking over at seulgi and wooyoung giggling. “we can’t say shit regardless, it’s not like it’s us getting married,” he says, leaning on seulgi who you discovered is his free real estate for leaning.

“she’s pretty hot though,” he adds, earning a slap on the shoulder by seulgi. “should i elope with her?” san asks, eyeing the event where the wedding happened. “it’s not like she’d understand me anyway, we can live on that? she’ll say something nice and i’ll laugh, vice versa?” san proposed before bursting out laughing. you on the other hand were wandering around, appreciating the refinement of the nature that surrounds you. the trip counsellor, hongjoong, had told you all to take a break at the town for tonight before we all leave for trekking tomorrow early morning. snapping a few pictures along the way, you directed your camera at the three of them. taking a picture right at the moment when wooyoung was getting slapped by seulgi and san on the shoulder. you giggled at the screen, focusing your attention on the three. san looked your way, gestured you to come towards the three, you hesitatingly made your way towards them. not wanting to interrupt the moment, you watched them turn around to greet you. “y/n, what do you think? should i elope the bride?” san pointed his finger at the couple getting married at the church, just a few meters away from the group. you blink as everyone gathered their bags to walk, “what? why would you do that? she looks so happy.” you reply and seulgi nods, while san scoffed and glanced back at the couple. “look at the way she’s smiling,” he laughs, “let them stay together for two years, she’ll run with a gun behind her husband.”

“bride becomes bridezilla!”he pauses in front of you before pulling a finger gun out, “pew!” startling you in the process. “hey y/n, don’t listen to him,” seulgi yells from ahead and you realize how far they’ve gotten. “san has allergies from marriage!”

“of course i do!” he followes behind them and you follow. “y/n,” he gestures for you to come closer, only to have san come next to you with his hands over your shoulders, pulling you into him. “tell me one thing,” he starts, “would you eat the same food everyday? if your husband only gave you rice and potatoes everyday, would you live on that?” you frowned at his sudden out of context question, seulgi and wooyoung following closely behind you two. “what?” you say, narrowing your eyes at him. “exactly!” he yells, “see you need some spice in your life! meat and noodles and-“

you squirmed away from him, “marriages are supposed to be a commitment, not some restaurant menu where you can buy what you want and eat with who you want.” you said, loudly hearing seulgi chant a ‘you go girl!’ from behind you now. “the basic concept of marriage is a lie,” he starts, “that’s why instead of doing it five-six times, it’s better if you just don’t!”

you turn to him wide eyed, “five-six times?”

he nods and then looks at you, “why? is it not enough?”

you give him a look, “but, if you want kids then what?” you dare ask, curious to his mind-blowing brain.

“what’s marriage gotta do with that?” he pauses and you do too. “we can make them right now…” he smirks, rubbing his hands together before backing you up. “meet me behind the temple-“

“ew!”

you yell and walk away, hearing them laugh while seulgi and wooyoung slap his shoulder.

but that doesn’t stop san, smirking while staring t you walk down. “how many do you want?” he yells, “i know how to make twins-” wooyoung slams his hand on san’s mouth before he could finish.

he smirks, “hey y/n! don’t you like pray and what not? how about you ask the almighty god to give me two spanish girlfriends!” “if they are sisters! even better!”

“alright everyone, since we are at the famous trekking sight here.”

you stare at the mountain in front of you as you stood in some rural small town in the cold, eyes watery from the wind and hands numb.

hongjoong, your camp instructed begins his lesson from the big grey rock he stood on. seeing the clear different groups gathered together. “just for fun’s sake, i thought i’d make this a game, the first team reaching the point up there.” he pointed at the sharp cliff on top. before continuing again, “will get to rest in the tents, while the others get to cook the food. now, a moment of truth, who wants to be captains?” doing god knows what, san and wooyoung immediately throw their hands up in the air. calling dibs to be the captains of each team which hongjoong laughed and nodded at their enthusiasm and followed them all up to the top of the mountain. “san!” chanmi called out in her sickeningly sweet voice, gazing at the resting san on a big stone, head leaned back and hands over in the air, stretching. “hey, sweet cheeks.” he patted the place beside him, scooting over ever so slightly as he watched her come near him, hips swaying side to side as if to seduce him.

and god did it work on the man. “what are you doing resting here? aren’t you going to win?” she asks and san smirks proudly. “there is no one here, who could beat a master like me in trekking.” he points at himself proudly as chanmi shrugged, gesturing to her exposed lap. “look, i got hurt.” she said and san gasped dramatically. “oh my god, baby, that’s so deep!” his fingers caressed her bare thighs, staring at the very tiny cut on her pale skin. “really? what do i do, baby?” she asks in a panic, he gives her a quick nod before jumping off the rock he rummaged through the back to whip out a bandaid. bringing his face very close to her wound before murmuring some consoling words as he caressed her thigh. chanmi enjoying the attention before subconsciously looking up at the mountain trek. “hm, san, who’s that? up there?” she points at the small dark silhouette of a person climbing up high, and san immediately whips his head in panic to where she was referring to. squinting his eyes to make out who that possible person might be, his eyes widened when he realized who it was. “oh shit, y/n!” he yanks his bags and makes a run for it. you aggressively stomped your way up the track, breathing out heavily with every step as you admired the winter morning scenery. everyone was resting at the bay down the road, while you just wanted to get it over with and climb the trek. the competitive part of you also wanted to win this so that you didn’t have to cook some tasteless meal, but the other half of you wanted to see the beauty of the world.

the air was so fresh that you almost teared up, the perfect breeze sifting through your hair, the green bushes hovering over top of you as if it was some sort of cave. numerous vines hanging off trees and a few scattered on the floor, half covered in mud while the rest were graved in the ground. your footsteps made crusty disturbances as you walked over the overgrown grass, making sure to not touch anything in case they were poisonous. “y/n!” you looked back scantily, heart taking a stride in pace when you saw san racing his way behind you, panicking you started to walk faster. you know what he’ll try to do and you’re definitely not having it, “y/n! please don’t go! let me win this at least!” “nope,” you said loud enough for him to hear, as he quickened his pace. “c’mon, you always came first in everything, let a poor man win this, please?” you ignored his call for you, his voice pleading you, begging that you let him pass the finish line. “why don’t you go back to chanmi? wasn’t she injured?” you glanced back, seeing san stand metres away from you. “oh, there she is, how about you go follow her?” you said, san’s left eyebrow cocks up in amusement as he looks back at chanmi’s body walking up. “i mean, i don’t mind.” he says, and you rolled your eyes. “look at her, those curves of hers, god.” you eyed him, his expression turning slightly inappropriate. tongue poking the wall of his cheek as he wiggles his index finger, matching the hip sways of chanmi. “then stay,” you mumbled, beginning to pick your pace slowly, making sure he doesn’t see you turn away. but were you wrong, his cat-like eyes immediately caught onto your actions and made a run for it. extending his hand out to grab your wrist, he pulled you in his chest. you gasp at the sudden move and he pouts, “c’mon, for old time’s sake.”

“okay, fine.” he sighs at your determined face. “how ‘bout we take a break, huh?” without even listening to you, he tugs you over to sit next to him on a random rock. “what do you want, san?” you breathed out, internally thanking him for the break because you sure were tired. “nothing.” you turned to face him. “what do you mean by that?” you asked, confused as he stares at you before chuckling. “you know, at first i thought you were the type of person who’d love to stick their nose in the books all day.” well, he wasn’t wrong. “but?” “but now, you seem up to the challenges of this.” he referred to the surroundings. “people can change, san.” you shifted your eyes at the group below you, his head shifted in amusement, liking how you used his name. “some people can still stay the same.” his mind wandered to wooyoung’s antics, before chuckling and shaking his head, he got up. “well then, miss scholar turned miss rebel, how about you join me up the hill?” he asked, extending his hand out for you to take. cocking an eyebrow at him, you got up by yourself and san smirked before walking up the hill. you grabbed onto your bag tighter before looking at san’s back, a camera held in his hands as he filmed the surroundings. a knowing smile made it’s way to your lips as you took a step forward, but instead you fell abruptly on the ground. “ah!” you winced as your knees hit the harsh ground, your eyes travelled to your shoelaces and to your surprise, they were tied together. a gasp escaped your mouth, “choi san!” and a laugh left a very far away san.

the day had now bled into nightfall, everyone around were on their way to roam the small town, to enjoy the beauty of small-town magic. and it definitely lived up to everyone’s expectations, it was simply stunning. big fairy lights hung from post to post while piping hot smoke came from the food stands, the night was a bit cloudy and the wind being just the right amount of chilly. wooyoung and seulgi were the first one to run towards the food stalls, instantly fishing for their pockets to bring out any money they had left.

everyone appeared to be busy wandering around and so were you, watching the little kids play around in a circle brought a smile to your face. “excuse me, did you just touch me?” wooyoung snapped his head back, before tilting his head back laughing. “why would i? i’m not interested miss.” he says before returning back to the plate of food he was eating. “you creep.” “oi, excuse me miss.” seulgi frowns, “he clearly said he didn’t do anything, why are you even bothering?”” seulgi eyed the lady who stood behind them, a frown over her face. “no one asked you, you cheapskate.” seulgi lowered her jaw in surprise, before she placed her plate on the table harshly with a loud thump, gathering attention. “what the fuck did you just say?” she rolled her sleeves up to her elbows, wooyoung’s eyes immediately widened, back hugging seulgi as she tried to go at the women. “what the heck are you doing?” its then when a guy comes to stand beside the woman, wrapping his arm around his girlfriend. “yo chill man, your girl here just thought i was interested in her when all i’ve been thinking about is the food.” “watch your mouth.” the man grits out as everyone’s eyes in the square land on the commotion. “why, what are you giving to do about it?” seulgi snarled. and without warning, the unknown man threw a punch on wooyoung. gasps leaving mouths and busted lip on wooyoung’s lip, blood trickling down his lip as he held his mouth in appalling. “what th-“ before anyone even had the chance to say a word, a punch was thrown at the man. “s-san!” wooyoung whispered, eyeing san take the man’s face in hand.

“say sorry,” san grits, tightening his grip on the man’s face.

the man breathed heavily as he looked at wooyoung, a half-assed apology leaving his mouth as san let go of his collars, patting him before giving him one last glare. he then turns around to look at wooyoung, wincing at his lip wound. “you okay there, woo?” before wooyoung could even respond you darted your eyes at the restaurant above, ”uh, guys,” you said, and their heads turned to you turn by turn, almost comically. “i think we’re in big trouble,” your eyes flickered at the group of people walking down followed by the man who punched wooyoung. “oh, fuck.” san exhaled. “let them come, i’ll show them who i am!” seulgi stepped forward, ready to attack anyone who comes at her. wooyoung and san huddle behind her, panic-stricken on their faces, “okay, one, two three! run!” “what! no!” seulgi shouted, ready to attack the group of men coming near them with her slim fists. “shut up, seulgi!” wooyoung runs back to grab seulgi, “now’s definitely not the time for your bravery!” and pulls her away to run. “quick, catch her, she’s with them too!” your eyes widened at the sudden charge thrown at you as men ran towards you. “what? no! i’m not wit-“ “glasses, hurry up!” san pulled you away so fast that you almost tripped.

the two of you sprinted down some unusual alleyway filled with shops and people as the men behind you followed the two profusely. “san, what the heck are you doing?” you yelled as the wind blew harshly in your face as the two of you sprinted through alleyways, hearing the continual yelling of your names that definitely weren’t from wooyoung and seulgi. “okay, stay here!” the two of you breathed out heavily, stuck in a tiny space that made your bodies brush against each other. your eyes flashed over at his restless face, his eyes glued to the outside watching any suspicious movement while you stared at his face. since when did he get so attractive? you’d always think of him as some goon, but now he seemed so different. his sharp eyes that glared into any soul, the structure of his face so symmetrically perfect. the outline of his face, from his forehead to his long nose bridge and to his lips. his hair that was coloured black with grey streaks, brushed back slightly, somehow increasing the pace of your heart even more. “shit, they’re coming!” his voice jolted you out of your thoughts and grabbed your hand again, breaking out to the area that seemed like an open diner. your eyes widened as everyone started to run away from the two of you while screaming. san’s hand still on your wrists he pulled you over the table, a cutlery knife in his hand that he picked up and aimed at the men who were hunting you both down, you couldn’t help but see how shaky his hand was as you hide behind his shoulder. “jump!” he shouted, scaring the others around as the two of you landed on your feet with a loud thump. but in seconds, one of the men had put san in a headlock position. you gasped, not knowing what to do as san kept yelling at you to do something, “what the hell am i supposed to do? hu-“ you paused and stared at the ketchup bottle that was on the table, groaning, you knew this was the only option left. so you grasped the bottle tightly with both your hands and squeezed it in the man’s eyes, he immediately let go of san’s body and fumbled back while rubbing his eyes from the spice that must have gone up to his irises, while in the background people shrieked. “shit, let’s go!” his hand reached for your waist and pulled you towards the town intersection, both of you breathing heavily, in desperate need of some water. “there!” you pointed at the bodies of wooyoung and seulgi waving their hands aggressively at the two you while sitting in a moving truck. their yelling could be heard from miles away, you and san ran as if dogs were chasing you two, the truck was moving and both seulgi and wooyoung extended their hands out for you to take them and climb on. san turned his head to look at you, the subtle layer of sweat coating your face as you attempted to jump on the moving truck, shaking his head he made a mission impossible jump on the truck. stuck his hand out for your to reach while the other wrapped around the truck structure, wooyoung grabbed san’s waist for more support as you tried reaching for his hand.   “hurry up!” he yelled and you nodded with whatever force that was left in your body. “bring it closer, you idiot!” you yelled and san extended his body closer to you, your feet burned underneath the ground with every step you took it made a slapping noise against the cobblestone. with the last of your energy, you reached your fingers out towards his hand and he immediately grasped them before pulling your entire body over him in the truck. you landed with an ‘oof’ sound, eyes shutter stuck as you felt the vibrations of the moving truck, with the background noise of the other two swearing at the men who ran behind you all. heavily breathing you shut your eyes, in a desperate need of rest. “are you okay?” you shot your eyes open, and you realized what you were doing. “yeah,” you said, although it came out a little breathier than usual. “you wanna get off of me? or we can just be like this?” his breath fanned your cheek, tingling on your skin and you gave him a confused look before your eyes widened in horror. oh. oh. oh. you were in fact on top of san, hands placed on either side of his face and your face buried on his chest, a hard chest on that. your cheeks burned in embarrassment and you pulled away from his hold, fixing your hair back as he chuckled audibly. you focused your attention towards the side, right where the outside was portrayed. the feeling of your hair moving along the lines of the wind, the burning of your cheeks illuminated in the shades of night and the neon lights of restaurant signs. biting your lower lip you suppressed a smile from breaking out in your lips, you swiftly looked at san’s silhouette who seemed to have been busy talking to the other two. an unknown feeling flared in you, and you brushed it away before it could get anywhere else.

“alright everyone, there’s a party down the street, so this is your chance to party and mingle around! have fun and be safe!” just as hongjoong declared that, everyone instantly flew down the streets with yellings of how amazing the party would be and how much sex they’ll get to have. you shook your head and walked inside the tent of yours, once everyone had left and no one was there. you quietly made your way out towards the campfire and sat in front of the fire. placing your elbows on your knees you cradled your face in your hands and stared at the fire blaring in front of you. a sigh escaped your lips, when will you ever stop pushing yourself back and do what you wanted too? brushing your thoughts away you opened up one of your thick books and read over the chapter you’ve memorized at this point. because that’s the only fun thing that you can do, your type of fun. you scoffed at that. san made his way towards the tent site, in a haste to grab the nearest alcohol. once he got the goods, he made his way out the tent area but not before looking at the fire. he frowned but then smiled when he spotted you sitting beside the bonfire.

doing a double-take at who sat there, his lips turned up into a knowing smile. sneakily making his way towards you, alcohol tucked away behind him as he approached your figure, looking over your shoulder and frowned at what he saw. “are you serious?” you flinched at the sudden voice, jumping on the bench you looked back at san laughing at you. “what do you want?” you frowned, returning your focus on your book while tucking your hair behind your ear. “why aren’t you at the party?” he asked, plopping himself beside you. “because i don’t want too.” “liar.” you looked up. “i seriously have no interest in going,” you replied back. “oh my god, you’re actually dying to go! it’s written all over your face.” you glared at him before looking at your book. “c’mon, you’re at a trip! have fun, leave this studying for once.” he says, peaking at the big words printed on the book that made him lose a lung. “look, i’m really not interested in going, it isn’t my cup of a tea.” he frowned, a pout over his lips, and then his mind had a light bulb moment. san’s sneaky hands always did the best things, so he lowered himself near you and grabbed your book from your hands. you gasped, shooting out your seat to face him. “what’re you doing?” you asked, reaching your hands towards where he held your book. he smirked, moving the book everywhere your hands couldn’t reach. so you ran behind him and he ran ahead of you, all while laughing his ass off. “san, please! give me the book!” you cried but he kept running around the hot fire. you stopped in your tracks when he started to tear away the notes you’ve spent your life on and tossing them in the air. “san!” you yelled, panic washing your face. “why aren’t you going?” he asked, playing with the paper as he cringes at the big words he read. “san, i’m not made for those type of things. those are only for you, you’re all social i’m not!” “didn’t you notice me when i was in school? i sat in the farthest corner from every one, no one wanted to talk to me!” your voice cracks, “everyone just wanted the answered to the tests!”  

you continue on, “i’m not made for this ruckus, i’m surprised that i even made it here! you on the other hand had everyone wrapped around your fingers, i can’t do that! i’m not fun!” “you are fun,” you blinked your eyes at him, not noticing that your eyes are slightly wet. “you’re like, the coolest person i’ve ever met.” he says and you frown as if it were some joke. “what the hec-“ “y/n,” he steps forward, tossing your book on the ground somewhere. “you’re someone who came to this trip with twenty-five other strangers, got out of her comfort zone and did everything we all are doing, and went against your parents! “heck, you even fought the gangsters, won past me in races, you sing songs from the nineties, you’re like-“ he pauses to remember, “a movie actress!”

“you’re the coolest person i’ve ever met!” he repeats and you sigh. “stop it,” you said feeling drained, slumping down on the bench. the two of you share a few minutes of silence before you spoke up, “why, why are you even doing this?” he chuckles but doesn’t respond, a yell for his name shook him out of this thought. “stop pitying yourself y/n..start to love yourself,” he looks at you, “you’re good just the way you are.”

***

“alright everyone, this is our campsite, please follow all the rules and stay hydrated at all cost-“ “hey, hongjoong. what’s that?” san pointed his finger at the cliff up above, a red flag in the air. “oh, i’m glad you asked. that over there,” he points, “is where the apparent ancestors of this town had built their own shrine for their gods. a lot of people have gone there in order to find it, but no one has lived enough to tell the stories.” you shuddered at the thought. “actually, it’s said that on full moon nights, you can go up there and wish for one thing you’ve always wanted, and it comes true.” “but, there’s the catch. a lot of people have rumoured it to be haunted, although we don’t know if it’s true or not.” “oh my god, there’s ghosts there?” chanmi’s friend, yuri piqued. “yeah, and i heard they go behind people who wear red clothes.” seulgi retorted, which left yuri in a fury. “oh wait, aren’t you wearing red?” seulgi mocked as wooyoung moved only to wrap a hug around yuri, and you didn’t fail to notice the change of expression on seulgi’s face. weird. “and, for those who want the thrill. tonight’s a full moon, be careful,” he said with a weary smile, sending a shiver down your spine before focusing your gaze on the cliff above. it doesn’t look daunting at all, rather looks very lonely instead. you wondered what could possibly be there, the ancestors and their divine shrine that fulfils your wishes? you found it hard to believe that such a place would even exist in the twenty-first century. usually, they are either demolished by natural disasters or even by the rich who deem to make it their own property. so to test that, you trekked up the hill. once the nightfall started, you made your way out sneakily, right after everyone was asleep. a stick in your hand to support you, you walked up the trail clothed in a padded jacket because of the rough winter night. the quietness around you was soothing, but also eerie. but, you liked it. the soft wind combing through your hair as the cold air brought tears to your eyes, and your face numb. you’re so engrossed in your thoughts that you fail to notice the slight squeak of a twig snapping come from behind you, but you definitely didn’t expect a silhouette to come right behind you. you froze, were the ghosts hongjoong talking about real? is this your death? oh my god, you should have never come h- “y/n?” you jumped in your spot, the ground underneath you fleeing as your feet seemed to have slipped on the slippery slope and you went flying back. shutting your eyes tightly, waiting for the impact to hit you and break your backbones immediately and send you tumbling down the campsite that would wake everyone up and they’ll all send you to a sketchy hospital that you saw here, and then you’ll die of the non-sanitized materia- “you okay?” but instead of all that, you were stopped mid-air. and that’s when you noticed the two strong arms around your waist, holding you up as you hung in thin air, a hard chest that seemed to be clad in a padded jacket flush against your back. and a voice whispering in your ear, you whipped your head back to see who it was and to your surprise, it was san. his lips right underneath your ear, sending a tingling sensation in your body, and you wondered it if was the wintery night. the two of you stayed like so for a few seconds, hearing the uneven breathing of yours and the cloud of white smoke forming out of your mouths hitting the atmosphere. and then you were pushed up and weren’t you glad. turning on your heels you faced san, “uh, thanks.” you said, hiding your mouth in the scarf wrapped around your neck, but it only resulted in the fog to gather up on your glasses. “what’re you doing here?” he asked, glancing at the fog on your glasses as he barely stifled back a laugh. “the same thing you’re doing,” you answered, trying to get rid of the fog on your glasses. “trying to find the ancestral temple?” you nodded, “what wish are you going to ask now?” he asked, glancing up through the night, the flashlight aiming at the red flag in the far distance. “if i tell you then it won’t happen,” you said, glancing at the sky before looking at his face.

you had to say, even in the darkest of lightings, the man shined brightly almost ethereally. the hiking bag on his shoulders that he gripped, falling to the side as he placed it on the ground. “wanna take a break?” you nodded, gesturing at the nearby rock that seemed to be free of snow. the two of you sat beside each other on the stone, closer than before for trying to a certain level of body warmth. “what’re you going to wish for? well if that thing exists.” you asked, turning to look at his side view. eyes glancing at his sharp jawline, you swallowed before looking at his eyes. “actually let me rephrase that, what do you want from life?” “speed.” “hm?” “i want speed and craziness in life,” he mumbles, looking in the dark trees. “i want to fly y/n, i want to run and fall but i don’t want to stop.” you smiled, he looked at you with a smile and for the first time you saw a raging passion in his eyes, “i don’t wanna live the boring life, get a job at twenty-four, wait for marriage at twenty-five. have sex at twenty-six, then get kids at thirty, then wait for my pension to kick in and then wait for death to come to get me.” you laughed slightly, fiddling with the fingers of your gloves. “you don’t seem to be thrilled by the idea of staying at one place.” you muttered. “like i said, i want to travel the world rather than stay in one spot for the rest of my life. i want freedom- the ability to live life my way.” you smiled at his words, “but isn’t life better when everyone you know stays with you? for the rest of your life?” he smiled, tilting his head to look at you. “y/n you- you aren’t wrong, we both are right.” he nods, “just different.” “right…you dream of having multiple stamps adorning your passports, while i dream of having some sort of freedom.” your words make him chuckle. the sudden wave of wind sends chills down your spine, rubbing your arms in an attempt to gather some heat around you. the cutting silence between the two of you getting slightly awkward, so you decide to speak. “do you have some alcohol?” you ask out of nowhere, catching him by shock. “w-what?” “i’m starting to get a little cold.” you rubbed your arms with a sheepish smile.

he cocks an eyebrow at your request and you spoke again. “that, in your bag.” you pointed at the bottle of what seemed like alcohols tucked on the side of his bag. “bring it here.”

he laughed, reaching out to grab the small bottle containing a white liquid before holding it in front of you.

“are you sure?” he asked, slightly shocked at your behaviour and you didn’t respond but instead took the bottle from him and twisted it open, bringing it up to your lips you chugged it down. san laughed at your scrunched up face as you took another gulp of it, “what is this? it’s so good!” “rice wine, made from fermented rice.” he said, and you took another big sip of it. “okay, okay, that’s it.” he holds your hand to pull it back before the bottle empties and you look at him, slightly disappointed. before wiping your lips with the back of your hand. “let’s go, before the sun comes up.” he stands up, extending a hand out to you and you looked at him, smiling before reaching out to grip on it. although you don’t know if there was an ancestral temple that fulfilled any wish of yours. but if there was, then you already knew what you wished for, even if it was impossible, you wished for him.

the next morning, everyone was passed away on the bus, the heavy drinking of last night and the hangovers everyone was about to wake up too.

seulgi woke up with a heavy headache, being the first victim of hangover she cradled her head in her hands she moved to tuck her face in your side. but paused when she couldn’t feel you, her eyes shot open in panic as she looked at the empty seat beside her. “what the fuck.. “ her morning voice mumbled, rubbing her eyes she sat up straight.

glancing around the bus to see everyone sleeping, “right, the alcohol.” she groaned and rubbed her forehead. “hey…wooyoung…” her hand reached out weakly to push on wooyoung’s shoulder who sat beside san in the seat beside them. “san, where’s y/n?” “what’re yousayin,” he mumbled, seulgi sighed before smacking his cheek jolting him awake, wooyoung shot up, irritated. “ow! what the heck was that!” “ssh!” she placed a finger on his lips before looking behind wooyoung, seeing san’s body roll-up while rubbing his eyes. “what’s going on?” his hoarse morning voice interrupted the two. “y/n,” seulgi pointed behind her, “she isn’t there.” the two of the guys looked at the empty seat behind seulgi. “chill out, she probably went to pee or something.” wooyoung groaned, shifting his head to bury into san’s neck. “you know there isn’t a bathroom nearby, even it is, they are in the houses, and it’s early fucking morning oh my god- she’s kidnapped!” “oh c’mon, i’ll go look for her.” san mumbled, digging in his back before taking out a pack of advil and tossing it to seulgi’s head before stepping out. a groan left san’s mouth, the sun piercing down with full bright rays. he wondered if this was the summer of august or the dead winter of december. shutting his eyes he rubbed them before looking around him. walking away from the bus he wandered around, looking around through the market area wondering where the heck you left off too, he bent down to look under the tables to see if you hid down there for whatever reason. “ah, excuse me?” he stopped a passerby, “do you know someone who looks like she’s a nerd with glasses, about this tall?” he lifted his hand up to his shoulder, as the man looked at him with a dumbfounded expression. “no.” groaning he ran a hand through his hair down to his face, a slight tap on his shoulder shook him out of his thoughts as he spun on his heels, looking back to see nothing. “what?” “hey, mister, down here.” his eyes gaze shifted to a lower position, a petit old lady stood in front of him. “you’re looking for someone aren’t you?” she asked, as san hesitatingly nodded, how would she know where you were? “there,” she pointed her stubby finger behind her, “over there, that’s where she is.” san’s gaze shifted from the lady to the scene behind her, squinting his eyes to see if you were actually there. “she isn’t ther-“ oh how the world stopped around him, you were there, right where the lady pointed. leaning next to a shop vendor, laughing at something he said. but that wasn’t you, but it was. san found it so incredibly hard to figure out if that was actually you, he did a double-take on you.

you were clad in a white shirt and khaki shorts, hair falling over your shoulders as it moved against the wind, the sun pouring from behind you making it seem as if there was a divine light outline your head. but something was so different about you, it wasn’t the fact that you weren’t wearing your glasses (as you switched them to contacts) but something, something so different about you. and then it hit him. nothing was different about you, nothing changed but the way san looked at you.

he couldn’t help but think how stunning you look, now a wide awake san walked towards you, hearing your giggles brought a small smile to his face. and then almost as of it were slow motion, your eyes lifted to meet his. an automatic smile forming on your face as he returned the gesture, his hair moving along the wind and the sun shining on his melanin. “hey,” you said, a little breathier than usual, lifting your hand up to give him a slight wave. “so, you weren’t kidnapped?” he asked and you giggled, “no, sir.” “is everyone awake?” you asked, not failing at seeing how he eyed you up and down, gulping. “yea- uh actually no, they’re still fast asleep.” “and you came here..?”

“to find you.”

“to find me?” you teased because no way in hell he’d do that.

“more like seulgi practically forcing me, but yeah. you could say that,” you laughed and shook your head. “then, since you’ve found me…do you wanna…walk around?” you asked, internally dying because of the sudden courage you showed. “i- why not?” he smirks and you gesture him to follow you. “here,” you stopped and pointed at the food stall, ”i heard they have the best spicy dishes here, want to give it a try?” you glanced at him, watching him fidget. “you don’t have too! we can just go som-“ “two of your spiciest dishes please!” he leaned over the table, ordering the door even before you finished and then glanced back at you, throwing a wink your way. you looked away because if you kept still then the flush on your cheeks would have been entirely visible to him. he patted over the space beside him and you took the cue and settled yourself beside him. the plates of food came right away and the two of you dug right in, occasionally flinching and whining at the spice level, tapping the table repeatedly as it got uncontrollable. you passed the water bottle towards san’s choking mess to which you chuckled at, “wow… i think… i lost my tastebuds.” he breathes, hanging his tongue out, heaving for air before chugging the water down his throat. “what’re you two doing here? couples retreat?” the two of you choked on air, standing up to lean over the table to catch some shut before you tried to speak, “i- no, we’re here on a trip! with a couple of others.” “ah.” she nodded, sliding the bill towards you both whilst the two of you gathered some air in your systems. both of you decided to pay half and half before leaving the shop and off to where the bus situated. once you two reached, seulgi and wooyoung turned heads towards you both and ran while flapping their arms in the air. “oh my god, i thought when san didn’t return, you both were kidnapped!” she yelled before pulling you into a hug and you chuckled and pulled away gently. “damn y/n, new look?” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows and you laughed at her memeable face. “alright everyone! gather up, attendance and the breakfast!” hongjoong yelled, holding the same clipboard in front of his chest as he jotted down names. “actually, me and y/n already had breakfast.” san said from beside you. “great, then how about you both go pay a visit to our next location?” you both looked at each other, a smile creeping up on your lips you both nodded. running down to hongjoong before snatching the white paper that printed the address from his hands and making a run for it, running through the streets and glancing at the scenery beholding in front as you passed. “hey- slow down!” you yelled, a wave of crowd hitting the two of you and you somehow found yourself slow and eventually lost in the crowd. “san!” yelling his name out to the sky as some people gave you a weird look. but instead, you let out a sigh of relief when san appeared through the crowd, reaching out to wrap his hand over your wrist he pulled you out behind him. you bend down to place your hands on your knees, trying to catch the bits of air as you looked at san through the fallen strands of your hair over your forehead. “we’re here.” he pointed out, somewhat proudly. you looked up, glancing around at the stunning road in between a semi-isolated area, herds of bushes and flowers adorn your surroundings and you immediately fell in love. if you looked up ahead, you’d see the beautiful scenery of a mountain valley, and mist covering the atmosphere, so much mist that you could taste it in the air. “this is beautiful,” you mumbled, taking a step forward. “told you,” you hear him whisper. “something like this only makes me wonder what the world has in store for me,” he mutters, taking out his phone to record the scenery. and then he pans the camera over to you, “is this your youtube channel?” you giggled and he zoomed in on your face. “this is where i store and record precious things in life so that one day i could look at them.” he smiled, moving the camera towards the large green bushes, and you stare at him. “i want speed in life.” you smiled, his words slowly starting to rub over you, the little dream of having some sort of freedom over your life excited you. “y/n, come here!”

“i’ll be back baby! just gonna go get some money for alcohol, wait here okay?” wooyoung whispered in yuri’s ear as she excitedly bobbed her head. and then he jogged towards the bus, stepping in towards his own seat, shuffling over san’s bag over to his bag and emptying it clean. “where is it? ahh, i should have brought more money-“ his eyes shifted from his money that rested on his palms over to san’s bag, a strange white paper popping out of the edge. confused, wooyoung reaches out to grab it, placing his bulls in his pocket he flipped the letter to the right side and tore it open.

wooyoung and san shared everything together, small things like this were usual. “must’ve been the bill of money he spends on me, asshole, told him not to pay for me.” he shook his head, a knowing smile on his face. they are brother’s after all, they hide nothing from each other. and if it was about money, wooyoung would do anything to repay san back, sliding out the white sheet folded thrice, he flipped it open to read the inside. the second his eyes scan the letter, he makes a run for it. bumping into random strangers on the way who only yelled at him in return. but he didn’t care at all, he had something else on his mind, how could san do this to them? why didn’t he tell him? “i- can i tell you something?” you stopped san, his eyes that were fixated at the camera now looked at yours, you pulled on the hem of your shirt in nervousness. “yeah, what is it?” he turned the camera off, stepping closer to you as you bit on your lower lip. just tell him! do it! your eyes met with his darker eyes, your heart hammering against your chest wildly and you opened your mouth to sp- “san!” his voice interrupted the two of you, your eyes slightly widened. whipping your head at the silhouette of wooyoung? running towards you two. you frowned, why was he running? “wooyoung? what’s he doing here?” “choi san, get your ass over here!” he waved at the two in front of him, stopping to and placing his hands on his knees, panting as he looked at them. “oh, hey? you okay there, woo?” he asked, slightly concerned as the two of exchanged uncertain looks as if asking what’s up, you shrugged and turned to face him. “what the heck is this?” he flung the envelope that he held in his hand in front of them. san’s eyes widened, “where did you get that?” he reached out for his hand but wooyoung was quick enough to pull away. you looked at san in a confused expression that mirrored wooyoungs’s, your eyes shifted behind his body, tilting your head the side. “hey guys?” seulgi’s voice broke the two boys’ eye contacts and they faced her. “what’s going on?” she asked and you looked at san, who sighed deeply. wooyoung laughed humourlessly. “san’s got a scholarship.” he says and your eyes shot to his. “wh-what?” seulgi blurted, a hand reaching out to place on san’s shoulder. “i-i was about to tell you guys this tonight,” he raked a hand through his hair, he groans. “i ended up getting a scholarship to the northwestern university.” seulgi’s eyes widened in realization, “isn’t that your dream university, the one in states?”

”yeah, chicago.” “why didn’t you tell us? were you planning to leave us in the dark?” wooyoung questioned, taking a step forward. “i should’ve applied with you!” san sighed, looking up at wooyoung who seemed to be upset at him. “trust me, i was going to tell you this first, i haven’t even told dad about this yet.” he chuckled dryly. “when are you leaving?” “…right after this trip is over,” he says. you all fell in silence, the sun setting down gradually as you all stood in meters of each other, the wind softly blowing around you. it’s as if reality had hit all of you. 

we were growing old, old enough that for one moment we’d be sat by each other in the class while the next we’re moving away, onto our own lives.

“it’s okay man,” wooyoung rose his head, a small smile on his lips. ”go live your dreams.” he put on a small smile, reaching out to pat san’s shoulder, “we both want the best for you, go make us proud.” he pumped his fist in the air. san smiled, pulling the two in a group hug as they spoke incoherent praises to each other, laughing at something wooyoung said before pulling away. “i-i’ll leave now.” wooyoung turned on his heels, giving one last smile before walking away. seulgi who stayed for a second late gave san an encouraging smile before eventually walking away. and then the two of you were left, in silence, hearing the bushes make serenity against the blowing wind. san turned to look at you, “congrats.” you said, a smile decorating your lips. “thanks..” he sighed, looking up at the horizon, watching the sunset between the two mountains leaving the sky an orangey-red hue. “...i’m scared.”

”why?”

”i’ll be there alone,” and you smile a little, looking into his slight tear filled eyes.

”you won’t be alone,” you say, lowly. “you have your dreams with you.”

he smiles a bit.

”will you miss me?” he asks and you shake your head.

”not at all.” he smiles and for a second your heart stops at that, “you, you were gonna say something?” he asked and you looked up. “nothing,” you said, rocking on your feet before facing him. “just… that it’s night time.”

“and that we should go sleep.” he nods, gesturing you to walk ahead but you ask him too. 

and so he does, hands in his pockets as he walks down the street with you following behind with a heavy heart.

you couldn’t say it.

just…couldn’t.

no matter how much you loved him, he loved his dreams more.  

it pained you to leave, but you were happy at the fact you would take back a huge suitcase of memories.

a suitcase of memories that you’ll never ever forget.

those days, those nights, those laughs.

that fun, that craziness.

and that friendship.

and with that, you walked away. 

into the next chapter of your life. taking along the threads of memories that you created alongside them, taking in the idea of freedom, you walked into your happiness. choi san, moved to the states.

the air of venice was warm yet sweet. orange hues decorating the sky, sun setting beautiful as boats float over the teal water. a scene waiting to be captured by a camera. people walking on cobblestones, from citizens to travellers, snapping pictures left and right. linking arms with their significant others while sipping on their caramel frappe and whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears. the commotion of people walking and the busking of multiple musicians with their instrument caskets, playing the same romantic melody. “camera here, lights check?” “check!” “pan the camera on jiwon, straight it a slight bit,” “great, roll the camera. jiwon, you can start now!” a thumbs-up visible from behind the camera, multiple shooting equipment huddled around the reporter. “venice, a floating masterpiece. the city of water par excellence, the largest maritime power in europe. sometimes dubbed at the most unique city in the world, from the warm-hearted people to the romance and the music that’s definitely one of a kind.” lowering the straw from his lips, and older san peeked over the camera, studying the quality of the video has the main focus was kept on jiwon, who introduced their new location. it had been eight years since san left his hometown, in those years he made a name for himself in the small industry of travel channels. wandering around in different locations of the world to film it’s beauty while getting to travel along with his crew. fulfilling his diary that contained the locations he wanted to visit with numerous experiences and pictures, he glanced at his wristwatch, rolling his eyes at the time and feeling the sun pierce down to throw the umbrella towering over him. “hey, when’re we done?” he leaned over to whisper to his teammate, in perfect english, living in the states for years definitely had its perks. “we should be done in five..four-“ “-three.” san joined in, flickering his eyes at the host wrapping it up. “two.” “one.” the two spoke together and immediately shot out of their seats and ran for the motorcycle, picking up a camera on the way, san sat at the back hoisting the camera on his shoulders, pressing the ‘on’ button. “go, go, go!” he tapped the man’s shoulders as the two of them hurried out their way, hearing the calls for their names that only made them fall in fits of laughter.   “you ready?” san nodded, fixing his camera position as he filmed the surroundings from a different point of view, making sure to get the best shots. he smiled, eyes flickering from the camera screen to the reality, shutting his eyes he bent his head backwards, feeling the wind blowing through his hair and a soft smile tugs upon his lips. “your caramel macchiato,” sliding the money on the counter, san’s feet walked him outside on the deck. he leaned his arms on the railings, glancing at the blue horizon of the ocean. feeling the boat move along the waves of the water, soft breeze in the air as he sipped on his drink. “how’s it?” he tilted his head to the side, jiwon appearing in his vision. “delicious,” he replied in his native tongue, hearing jiwon chuckle as she stood next to him. “any plans after this trip?” she asked eyes stuck on the water. “probably back to new york, there isn’t anything left here.” he sighed against the cup. “there’s a new program launching, it’s for travelling and getting to acknowledge other cultures. broadcasting on mtv.” “mtv? damn, that’s huge.” he sipped, “are you hosting it?” glancing at her side profile. “nah, i’m set for something else after this ends,” she replied, facing san, turning her back on the railing. “who’s hosting that? is it sameul? tori? ah, must be bobby.” “actually, me and a few were thinking about someone else.” “oh? who?” “you.” san jolted up, “w-what?” confused yet excited, the adrenaline starting to pump as he looked at jiwon’s face. “we’ve been thinking about giving you, your own show. broadcasting on mtv, plus you’ve made quite the name for yourself in this industry and in the world of hollywood.” she continued, “so, you seem like the perfect option-“ before she even finished, san pulled her into a hug and she chuckled, patting his back. “you’re seriously amazing, the best!” he mumbled against her shoulder before pulling away with a smile. “you’ll do great, let me know if you ever want to star someone like me.” she teased, flipping her hair behind before the two fell into fits of laughter. “it should start in six months, they’ll email you everything.” he nodded excitedly, clenching on his drink as a huge smile made its way on his face. “by the way, are you going to visit home? you haven’t been there in years.” she said, fiddling with her rings. he looks down at the shimmering water, “i-i don’t have a purpose to go there anymore,” he replies, sighing as he looked down at the sea. “oh c’mon, i’m pretty sure the three people on your phone’s wallpaper must be waiting for you to show up.” she patted his shoulder and he smiled, mind wandering to the photo he took on the last trip. “how’d you know?” she laughed, “you’ve been avoiding your hometown haven’t you?” she asked, glancing at his face, shaking her head before looking down. “go.” lifting her head to look at the group of random strangers with champagne in their hands, a small smile on her lips. “you know, we’re both kinda the same.” she pauses, “people who don’t have the home we wanted, we have no place we can stay at for more than a month.”

“its not easy,” he bites his lower lip, “i know that but…to be somewhere, you need to leave from somewhere…” he pauses, “you should get out at the right time, or you’re in trouble.”

“go, back home to meet them.” she repeats, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “they must’ve been waiting, don’t lose them.”

shutting the door with a loud bang, placing the pizza box over his bed, running to change into his comfortable clothes while pressing a mask over his face, grabbing a can of coke before finally sitting in front of his laptop at ease. going through his daily emails, he scrolled through the recents before clicking on the one that just arrived. chucking open the can he reached out for the pizza slice, video playing. “hey, san.” he froze, his heart-stopping. half a pizza still hanging out his mouth, his eyes glanced at the video in front of him. “it’s me, seulgi.” “your calls wouldn’t go through, so i thought emailing you was the best option. anyway!”

he smiles.

“you see the baskets around me? these flowers and cards and outfits and shoes!” she smiled, placing her elbows on her knees, cradling her face in her hands. “san-ah, come closer.” he instinctively comes closer, “i’m getting married!” she screams and his eyes widen. “i know, i know! how can the seulgi get married? thought she didn’t believe in those stuff?” she giggled. “remember when i sent you a letter? the lousy engineer?” she paused to laugh, “i’m marrying that nerd, but you’re going to have to see him in person.” “come back, san, we all miss you. i miss you, i’ll be waiting.” and with that, the video shut to show the white screen, back to the emails. his eyes fall over the email where a virtual wedding invitation was attached as a pdf, titled “to my best friend, choi san.”

present time.

“y/n! are you done packing?” you snapped out of your trance. “yeah, almost done!” you yelled back, placing the yearbook on the ground before placing the outfits neatly folded in your suitcase. a soft smile tugged upon your lips, seulgi’s getting married after all the accusations your mother made on her, you still remember when seulgi knocked one your door dead at three am in the morning, booze in one hand and a box of kfc fried chicken in the other. it was right after the trekking trip when you all had gone your separate ways but right after two weeks, seulgi popped on your doorstep. a grin on her face and a invite to talk till the sun rises. both of you became the best of friends after the trip, you found someone who you could call your friend and she finally found someone other than the two of them. speaking of them, you had seen wooyoung on multiple occasions, sometimes at parties or at the pub he owned, after finally investing in the right business, the man had grown a very successful and popular club/pub. and as for san, let’s just say they passed eight years without him went by a blur. no messages, no calls, or even visitations. you wondered multiple times if he’d ever visit back home, after hearing the passing away of his father. you three had gone over to visit his stepmother who mourned over her deceased significant other, you all stayed for support and made sure that she was perfectly fine before eventually heading back home. san hadn’t come to visit him, on his death bed. you all had tried to call him a number of times but the calls would always fall through, so in the end, one of his older cousins came in to do the final rites. you were devastated, why wasn’t san there? why wasn’t he picking up his class? did even know that his father had passed away? you brushed away your thoughts before planting a smile on your face, glancing at the mirror in your room as you sat on your carpeted floor. you had matured into a beautiful young lady, not enough that you’d call yourself attractive, but beautiful nonetheless. “will, will he come?” your voice barely above a whisper, glancing at your mirrored eyes through the mirror, before shaking your head and getting up, stacking the suitcases next to your door. you’ve asked yourself the same question almost everyday, will be come back? if yes then when? but you knew that wasn’t possible, the man hasn’t shown himself in years, and sometimes you find yourself thinking if he’s even alive anymore. you didn’t want to think the negative way but you couldn’t help but think about it once in a while. “hey, y/n over here!” you spotted the dark silhouette of wooyoung, waving at you from his car, the window down. “what’re you waiting there for! help me with my luggage!” you laughed, he rolled his eyes before stepping out. “ey! i’m not a servant, say please.” you froze for a second, a very familiar line you thought. “wooyoung!” you yelled and he laughed, grabbing your suitcases before throwing them in his car truck, settling them next to his. “let’s go, seulgi kang must be waiting.” he grinned and you shook your head before the two of you sat down in the air-conditioned car. “can’t believe she’s getting married,” he says, turning right on the intersection. you giggled, “i thought she’d be the last person to get married.” you said and he nodded. “crazy, how does the groom look like?” “the dudes some type of engineer, i saw his photo.” he clicked his tongue in distaste. “must say, she really did not hit the wrong jackpot.” you gasped in shock, slapping his arm. “don’t say that! the photo must be blurry!” not believing a word you said, he laughs out loud. after the laughter died down, you glanced outside, peering at the trees above you. all different shades of green that somehow matched together, the grey skies threatening to rain and drench you. in the silence, with only the ac’s noise echoing you spoke. “do you think he’ll come?” your eyes are stuck on your fingers. wooyoung smiled tightly, knowing exactly who you were talking about. “i don’t expect him too.” “would you want him to come?” “i want him too,” you smiled a little. “after all it’s seulgi’s wedding.” he pauses and inhales, “but he might just be too busy, to not attend important events like before.” “but it’s not like seulgi expects him to come, he didn’t even show up for his own father’s passing, what makes you think he’ll show up for her?” he looked over at you and you looked away. a hum escaped your lips and you craned your head to look out, a sigh falling out and you hoped, even if it wouldn’t happen, you wanted him to come.

“hey.” “hey.” you and wooyoung spoke at the same time, both eyes glued at seulgi. this wasn’t seulgi, this was a whole different person, clad in a dress (something she’d dare not touch), hair longer than before and a different glow on her face. wooyoung leaned down to whisper in your ear, “is that..our..seulgi? or are we in the wrong house?” his eyes still fixated at the women in front of us, arms crossed as she peered at the two of you. you pressed your lips together and hummed examining her up and down, “we’re definitely in the wrong house,” and right after that the two of you spun on your heels and took off. “hey, you idiots! why are you so shocked? it’s me, kang seulgi!” she yelled and you two looked at each other before bursting to laugh, slowly making your way back to her you pulled her in a tight hug. “congratulations seulgi, you hit the jackpot,” you mumbled against her ear, hearing the vibrations of her laugh. “yeah, a wrong one on that,” wooyoung scoffed and his eyes widened. “shit-anyways! where’s our groom?” he tried to pry away from the slip-up and seulgi narrowed her eyes at wooyoung. stepping aside to open the big iron gates, revealing the beautiful location of the wedding. it was huge, huge, a castle? perhaps, this place was stunning, heck, stunning would be an understatement. “my fiancé’s kinda a rich prodigy….uh, come in?” your mouth hung open at what was in front of you and you were sure wooyoung was doing the same. where you stood wasn’t even the actual entrance, instead, it was the entrance gate of the property, ahead of you was a long walk to the actual house. the pathway was embedded between big gardens, both on either side of the path, clad in shades of greens, big and tall shrubs and trees shaped in different types of animals. “you have a fucking tree maze in here too?” wooyoung mumbled and she nodded, gesturing you both to come in. “both our family’s are big, so we compromised the smaller estate for the bigger one, more the merrier!” she waved her arms in the air and you looked at her in pure shock. “seulgi, this isn’t a location, this is a damn palace!” “-buckingham who? never heard of her?” “oh c’mon, it’s not even that bad.” oh, it is bad, inside of the palace was even better than what was outside, completely different from what displayed outside. you were starting to wonder if she married some royal prodigy instead of a rich one. the insides and huge ceilings, loads of sunlight pouring in through the ceiling windows, the floor was carpeted in a mahogany colour that had gold lace-like designs at the edges, stunning paintings decorating the hallways and neutral colours that filled the space. walking by the hallway, you and wooyoung looked at each other with wide eyes, “she hit the jackpot!” he mouthed and you nodded, eyes wandering up your head. “your rooms are next to mine because we divide the bride and groom’s side!”

you smiled, eyes wandering over the stunning interior until they land on a room at the farthest end. “and the room at the far corner?” “…ah,” she looks over, “that should be san’s if he decides to show up.” you smiled tightly, the conversation you had with wooyoung just minutes before ringing in your ears.

because, honestly, you’re not too sure either. no one is. the same question looms around all your minds, will he come? shrugging the thought away you smiled before reaching out to twist the doorknob to the room you’ve been assigned too. once it opens your mouth is hung agape at stunning white walls with earthy accents, bed frame giving off an illusion of it being made of wood. brassy and gold elements filled the space alongside some succulents placed here and there. the bed clad in a white bedsheet but with beige and pale green pillows. matching the overall aesthetics of the room, and to top it off. a window ceiling instead of a wooden one, showcasing in the perfect amount of light. you plopped your body on the bed, hands extending to the sky, covering the sun that glared in your eyes. and then you turn on your stomach and reached out for your phone, pressing the home button you paused and stared at your wallpaper.

it was a picture of you, wooyoung, seulgi and san at one of the treks.   zoning out for a minute you snapped back to reality, groaning as you debated and argued if san was going to show up. after all, it had been eight years since you last saw him, your eyes yearned to see him. to see how he looks like, ask him how he was doing or how his career was treating him. you just wanted to sit down with him and catch up on the last eight years without him, sitting on a balcony with a beer can in hands while chatting away till the sun dropped. it was easy to leave everyone behind for the first two years, getting your degree and graduating with the highest credits. but with something you wanted to do, it’s not that you didn’t take medicine. you did, in fact, the degree is framed on your living room wall because of your mother’s request. but you also did something you wanted to do, getting a degree in your desired subject, you became an educator, a teacher for those in high school’s. you loved it, and that’s what mattered, you finally got out of living under your parent’s dreams to make your own. you still remember how free you felt when you stepped outside your boundaries, almost as if all the weight and pressure from your shoulders were lifted and thrown away. and it wouldn’t have been possible if you didn’t go to the trekking, if you stood on the train station without a trace of moving, you still could’ve been trapped.

but you weren’t! san helped you, if it weren’t for him, you would’ve missed the train and lost all your chances of getting the freedom you yearned for. if it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have dreamt so big. he made you realize what freedom, adrenaline and living life by your own rules meant. the number of butterflies that would take aviation in your stomach whenever you did something out of your comfort zone, all because of him. the feeling of standing on a cliff, knowing there was someone who stood beside you, yelling the most explicit profanities into the nothingness of the bottom. the sensation of tequila trickling down your throat, bringing out your wildness, enjoying the party as strands of your hair would stick along your forehead, the vibrations of your body when the bass boosted against the walls. the cold water underneath your feet as you glanced at the horizon, being nudged into the water as everyone threw water in your face, playing water volleyball, laughing and sincerely enjoying yourself. forgetting about all your worries. all because of him. you were thankful for san, no- you were in debt to san. if it weren’t for him you would have never enjoyed life this much. being with him made you look at everything around the world from a different aspect. you wanted to see him, so you could thank him. even if it meant one last time.

“wooyoung, can you please put this over there.” you thrust the basket full of white roses over to wooyoung, he lifted his head up, lips already quivering aaandd there comes the melodrama. “y/n…“ he whispered, “i-i didn’t expect this from you.” his eyeballs shaking dramatically. you rolled your eyes, “c’mon woo, you’re literally doing nothing but belly flopping on the bean bag all day!” you placed your hands on his shoulder, turning him around before pushing him towards the hallway on the other wide. “good luck!” you waved, watching his figure slowly walk away, fake limping deliberately. you smiled and shook your head before turning back and stepping towards the outside. “hey, y/n!” you looked up from your stance, squinting your eyes and trying to make a figure that sat meter’s away from you, waving his long arms towards you. “oh hey, hanbin! and seulgi!” you waved and walked towards them, hanbin being seulgi’s fiancé, you quickly realized that he must’ve been in some real bad lighting because he looks completely different than how you saw the photo of him.

seulgi hit a jackpot in all areas. “thank you so much for coming to our wedding, we both really appreciate it.” he placed his arm around seulgi’s shoulder, pulling her in his chest and you smiled. “i’d be very upset if i couldn’t make it,” you looked at the two, “let me know if you guys need anything alright? don’t stress yourselves.” the two laughed and you smiled, ready to turn back on your heels but instead you stopped, hanbin opened his mouth, “i-is san coming? i’m sorry i don’t know a lot about him, but he seems very close to you all,” he looks at seulgi, “like seulgi said.”

“i don’t know myself if he’ll come,” you pressed your lips in a thin line. “i could try ringing him up, but i’d doubt he’ll respond,” you said, tucking a start hair strand behind your ear. with a mere nod from them you left for your room, clutching the phone in your hands you walked the foyer that connected to the outside as the white painted archways led to outside. you stopped and looked around, when no one was in presence you leaned onto an archway, bringing your phone up in front of you. your thumb hovered over san’s contact name, glancing at the previous historical record of you calling him, and him not receiving or picking up any calls. you contemplated, if he hasn’t picked up in the last years, what makes you think he’ll pick up the phone? you groaned as hanbin’s words rang in your ears once again. “it’s alright, give it a try, maybe just maybe this time, he’ll pick up.” you whispered to yourself before clicking the ‘call’ button and bringing the phone to your ear. you bit your lower lip and looked at the ground, hearing nothing from the call. you tugged your lips up in a frown, but then immediately the call had started ringing. you furrowed your eyebrows, this has never happened before. in the previous tries, it’s either activated the computer voice or just plain nothing. the sudden change made your stomach do flips, your hands shook slightly as the adrenaline started pumping in you, the feeling that he might just pick up and say “hello! it’s me san, missed me?” and you’d fall into an exciting mess and yell at him and tell him to hurry up and come over here- but instead, you were met with nothing. releasing a deep sigh you hung up when no response came, pushing of the archway you made your way back to your room.

“we’ll see you all tomorrow!” the couple waved at everyone, you smiled and waved back, making your way towards your room as the sun had set down and the sky was darker than before. every guest from both sides had arrived, half the suitcases were still placed in the hallway as more and more people kept arriving. you, wooyoung and few others from hanbin’s side would help everyone settle down in their rooms and then treat yourselves with a can of soda or beer. today was no different, just the weather and the wind being colder than usual. the clouds dark grey and the windows in your room moving slightly as the wind picked up it’s pressure.

you wondered if it would storm today, but it does, it might cool the weather down before seulgi’s wedding so that we wouldn’t have to suffer in the heat. the mansion-like location was slowly getting decorated with white roses and sparkly lights and chandeliers were being hung around by the wedding planners. you laid on your bed, gazing at the ceiling that displayed the sky. trees rustling against the harsh wind as the comforter covered half your body. hair sprawled over the cold pillow, arms spread covering the bed as you flipped over to land on your stomach. cradling your face in your palms you sighed, you’ve been trying to sleep for the past two hours and it’s only brought failure. you were so sure you were dead tired today, but somehow all the sleep has been wiped out of your eyes. so you got up, taking your phone and placing it in your pyjama pocket before peeking out the door, looking left, right, and then left. clenching your first together you tiptoed out the room, closing the door with the slightest bit of noise. looking over to your right, you made sure wooyoung wasn’t awake. heaving a sigh you then begin to walk towards the kitchen, deciding that a glass of water would be enough to lull you into sleep. as your bare feet padded the cold marble flooring, you shivered at the coldness lingering around you. the hushed noises from the rain outside brought a sense of calmness to you and you walked towards the glass kitchen door before sliding it slowly, you walked in. glancing around the room, you peeked through the cabinets and walked towards the glasses section. picking up a glass with a clink, you grabbed the water jar and poured in some water.

you brought the glass to your lips, sighing against the rim before sipping down on the liquid. as soon as you placed the glass down you shifted your eyes towards the window, squinting your eyes, trying to make out something because you’re sure you saw something move. shrugging you placed the glass in the sink before walking out in the hallway, as you were walking down, you couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable, the coldness around you seemingly growing and you wondered if a ghost was following you. scoffing you kept walking, thinking about how ghosts wouldn’t exist and how it was all just some random myths people had created. but as you kept walking away, the hairs on your arm started to rise, and you stopped. feeling as if something was behind you, if it weren’t for the house being so quiet, you wouldn’t have heard the rustling behind you. you froze, stricken with fear and uneasiness. when the noise got more prominent your heart rate started to beat faster and faster, you gulped and hesitatingly and slowly turned around to look back. shutting your eyes as you were definitely scared of whatever it might be, peeking open one eye you looked into the darkness before being pushed back against the cement wall behind you, a hand coming cupping your mouth shut. you yelped as your back hit the hard, cold wall. your eyes shut tightly and your hands clutching whatever was in front of you, when you felt the heavy breathing over your cheeks you slowly opened you eyes. squinting your eyes to make out some sort of a face in this darkness, but even if the intruder tried to escape, he or she wouldn’t be able to because of the hard grip you have on their shirt. but, this person doesn’t seem like an intruder because they have their arms wrapped around your waist, lifting the material of your shirt just slightly enough to make a little skin appear, while another over your mouth as if shushing you. you moved your face in an attempt for him (as the hand felt a bigger and slight bit on the tougher edge) and as if he felt you struggling he slowly lowered his hand and you tried to make out his face. but suddenly your eyes were blinded by the strong light in your eyes, you moved your face away from it. “oh, shit. sorry!” his voice spoke, lower and a bit deeper. when the man flashed his flashlight away, keeping it closer just enough to shine on the two of you while also not blinding you. your mouth parted in shock, because no way this is real. once the light shined on his face you stood frozen. “s-san?” your voice a mere whisper in the quietness, he shot his eyes up to meet yours and felt your heart sink to your stomach. it was really him, it was san. he came. “you came,” you mumbled while he stared at you, his eyes searching your face frantically before lifting the edge of his lips up. “y/n,” he whispered, eyes wandering to yours and you felt his breath fan over your skin.

without a warning, he pulls you in his embrace, the edges of your eyes brimmed with tears as you hugged him back. “you’re back,” you mumbled against his chest and felt the vibration of his hum. once you pulled away, his hands landed on the either side of your waist. “where did you go all these years?” you questioned. “do you know how many times we’ve been looking for you!” “you said you were only leaving for a few years? huh! wh-“ “ssshh!” he placed his hand on your lips, shushing you as he looked left and right. “i’ll tell you everything later, but just know- i did what i wanted.” he said, eyes focusing on yours and you could very vaguely see the shine in his eyes, the same shine you saw years ago under this moonlight. “and i came here, as fast as i could.” he finished off with a smile, instinctively bringing a smile to your lips. your eyes scanned his face as the two of you stood against each other, glancing around your faces. you noticed that not only was his pie chart hair were wet but also the top of his shirt was drenched with water, expectedly from the rain pouring down outside. “you’re wet,” immediately regretting the way it sounded like san chuckled. “how about you clean me up then?” he offered and you gaped, smacking his chest playfully, ignoring how hard it was. “i’m glad you came, everyone is going to be so shocked.” you removed his arms from your waist and stepped beside him. “i’ll go call seu-“ almost immediately you were jerked back onto san’s chest, the proximity sending your heart into a fury. face so close to each other that the tips of your noses almost touched, both your breaths intertwining with each other’s. you raised your hand to push away the hair strands covering your face but paused when san’s fingers found it’s way to weave the stray strands of your hair and tuck them behind your ear. “it’s a surprise silly, they’ll see me tomorrow.” you nodded slowly, ignoring the burning of your cheeks. he pulled away from you and reached down to grab his backpack. he chucked the bag behind his shoulder before looking at you, “now, let me stay in the room you’re staying in.” “uh, why?” you asked. “well clearly if this is a surprise,” he pointed to himself, “then i’m pretty sure i’d like to keep it that way.” he protruded proudly and you nodded hesitatingly. the two of you walked in silence beside each other, occasionally your hands would touch ever so slightly and you’d pull back before he realized and look the other way, biting down a smile to etch across your lips. twisting open the door, you stepped aside to let him in. once he stepped in, you closed the door quietly, and spun on your heels, glancing at san looking around the room with the bag still over his shoulders. “you must be tired, why don’t you go freshen up?” you suggested and he looked your way before nodding. you smiled, gesturing at the bathroom to your right, and he made his way past you, with a wink. you gulped the warm lump that formed in your throat, once san locked the bathroom door, you slid down on the ground. a hand raking through your auburn coloured hair, a shaky sigh left your lips and you looked at the white door. a soft smile illuminated your lips, a sense of relief washed over you. he came back, he came, he came back for his friends. the scene from the hallway replayed in your mind once again, remembering the closeness of you two. how his features had gotten more prominent and matured, his chiselled jawline now on a display, hair still the same, the same pie chart hair with the grey streak, his hair longer than before, and you couldn’t help but think how it suited him. his cat-like eyes sending jitters down your spine, hearing the showerhead being activated, you got up and looked around the room, “now where would he sleep?” because although the room was big, there was only one couch. but it wasn’t even a proper couch, a teal coloured love seat in the corner of the room. your eyes wandered to the window seat but quickly dismissing the idea of him having to lay down there because it was too cold. you didn’t have time to think as the bathroom door unlocked and san came out, a white towel wrapped around his slim waist. only a towel. you shrieked and looked away, still being able to remember how his stomach was toned and did you see a v-line? his chuckled echoed the room and you looked the other way, “wear some clothes!” you yelled. he laughed and you hear him move his bags, “at least change in the bathroom!” “god geez y/n!” he teases, quickly putting on a shirt. “there, i’m all done,” he said, and you heaved a relieved sigh.

“so, where am i sleeping?” “ah, about that,” you said, rubbing the back of your neck as you tried to avoid his eyes. trying to tell him that the only option was the bed without actually speaking to him. “the floor does seem comfortable,” he taps his bare feet on the carpeted floor and you looked his way, “the floor’s cold, you’ll catch a cold.”

“oh?” he smirked, glancing at you up and down. “then the bed it is.” right as he says so, he jumps on the bed. sprawling his arms all over before placing them behind his head, crossing his arm and looking at you. “what’re you doing?” you surprised yourself with that question, because where did that come from? you weren’t even looking at him, or his dumb expressions but just the way he laid there. you cleared your throat and asked again, “what do you think you’re doing?” you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning back on the doorframe. “sleeping..?” he says, tilting his head and tugging his lips up in a smirk. “oh c’mon, don’t tell me you’re scared.” “scared of what exactly?” you raised an eyebrow, shifting your weight on one side. “a fine man like me,” he points to his face, “sleeping next to you, of course, you’d be flustered.” you squinted your eyes, “excuse me choi san, i’m not flustered or scared of you.” you said, stepping towards your side of the bed and sitting down, hand reaching to turn off the lamp, and dwell the two of you into darkness. you fished for the comforter and placed it on you, tugging it away harshly as san had it under his body. making sure that you stayed as far as possible from him, you shifted to the edge of the bed, the sheets right over your chest and your hands peeked out from the top. san being the one of a kind man he is, changed his position to lay on his side. one hand supporting his head as he looked at you, you felt his stare on you and you slowly turned to look at him. “now what?” you asked, moving your eyes to look at the glass window above you. “you’ve gotten prettier,” he suddenly says, tracing your features with his eyes. “so you’re saying i wasn’t pretty before?”

he clicks his tongue, “i said pettier, you were pretty now you’re just even more.”

you turn to look at him, “do you have a phd in flirting?”

he grins sheepishly, “double phd actually.” “forget all that...are you finally a doctor? because i think my heart will have an attack if i keep staring at you.” you inhaled sharply, chewing on your lower lip you turned your body to face him. “then i guess you should keep staring, because i’m no doctor-“ “you want me to die?!” he exaggerated dramatically and you hid back a smile, giving him an innocent nod. “i left those expectations years ago, i still have the degree in medicine though.” he shifts on the bed. “but i did what i wanted to do,” you smiled. he looked at you with soft eyes, seeing the little wrinkles that your smile made even though he couldn’t exactly see because you had your face covered. “and that would be?” “a teacher.” it took a few minutes of silence for san to wrap his head around what you just told him, and then he burst out laughing but quickly cupped his mouth to assert silence. “what!” you whisper-yelled, pulling the sheets down to your chest level. “a teacher? you’re still the nerd huh? oh wait, do you wear your glasses like an old librarian and preach about old dead white men?” you slapped his shoulder lightly, “hey!” he laughed slightly, caressing the pained area with a pout while looking back at you. “forget about me, what have you done in these years?” “not much.” “not much?” “i graduated the university, got an internship at the mtv headquarters, then made my way up the industry, jumped on a plane with other crew members to attend my first show,” “what country was it?” “spain.” you made an ‘ooh’ noise before he continued. “broadcasted and filmed the entire show with other’s, then did the same for years before i got into the international team, and i’ve been with them ever since.” he said and you nodded. “was it fun?” “yeah,” he spoke softly. “if i don’t enjoy it, then what’s the point?” you hummed in agreement, shifting your eyes to look up. “i’d just miss alot of stuff then.”

you smile, “but no matter how much you try, in life you will loose at least something…so shouldn’t we have fun where we are now?”

he chuckles, “i like that.” “why didn’t you come back?” you asked hesitantly, not wanting to pry onto something that might’ve been personal. “…i don’t know.” he responds and then it goes quiet, your eyes growing droopy with each second given that you don’t realize you’ve fallen asleep. “i really don’t.”

as much as you appreciated being on a break, you hated waking up in the morning to wooyoung singing some girls’ generation songs in the shower. although you had only heard it twice, you’re definitely tired of it. your eyes slowly fluttered open, taking the time to absorb the surroundings you moved a bit. but then you opened your eyes fully and frowned, why was it so dark? was it still night? you groaned once again and shifted in your position, but this time you whimpered in aching pain shooting straight from your collarbone. when your vision started to get more clear and accommodated to the environment, you realized that the ‘darkness’ covering you wasn’t the night, but instead hair. a very good smelling hair on top of that. a very familiar pool of hair, your eyes widened in shock. “san?” you voiced, hearing a raspy groan etch out of his mouth. you gasped, realizing that he was leaning on you. you slowly jerked him away, pushing his body so that he lands on his own pillow and not in the crook of your neck. heaving a sigh out you ran a hand over your face, craning your head back to look at the alarm clock that read 9:56. shutting your eyes tightly, you mustered up the strength to get up. but before that could even happen, san decided to launch himself on you. tackling you down, his hands encircling around your waist and his heavy leg over your legs. “don’t go,” his morning voice cooed in your ear and you felt yourself shiver at his low voice ringing in your ear, your heart rate taking a sudden stride in speed. “san, move away.” you mumbled loud enough for him to hear but instead he only hugged you closer, “hey-“ “two minutes.” he groans, burying his face in your neck. you shiver when his lips land on the bare skin of your collarbone.

you stayed frozen in your spot for the next few moments, and then you felt his head move, the strands of his hair tickling your skin and you shifted. he raised his head and met with your widened eyes, a boyish smile tugging upon his lips as his droopy eyes turned into crescents. you felt your heart flutter at his actions, “good morning.” his deep voice sent a spine-tingling shiver down your body. “morning-g,” you voiced, somehow forming into a whisper. he untangled himself from you before sitting up straight while you laid there still shocked, “i’ll go to the washroom first.” and with that his bare feet padded the way towards the bathroom before shutting the door. you fell on the bed, hands reaching up to cover your eyes because you’re sure he saw the blush on your face, felt the racing heart of yours, you muffled a groan in the sheets and stomped your legs up and down on the bed. so now you were walking down to the courtyard, where everyone had been told to come down as the first celebrations of the wedding start today officially. as of right now, no one knows san is here, or even walking behind you. back hunched and eyes on the floor, whispering to you, again and again, to ask if anyone saw him. “oh hey! y/n right?” you jumped at the sudden greeting thrown at you. you looked up to see changkhyun, one of hanbin’s friends. greeting you with a bright smile and thrusting a hot cup of tea in your hands. “o-oh hey!” you said, suddenly standing tall. you watched his eyes move behind you and you froze, but quickly jumped in front of him. “how about we go to the courtyard? everyone’s already there, let’s go!” you reached out to grab his hands and jerk him towards the opposite side, making sure you looked back to see if san was there, but frowned when you didn’t see him there. “i’m really excited!” changkhyun said in his giddy voice and you snapped out of your thoughts, “huh? oh, me too.” you laughed. maybe san hid before changkhyun could even spot him, but where could the man hide? you’re just glad that he didn’t see san or the whole surprise of his would’ve gone down the drain. “hey, i’m gonna go get a glass of water real quick, i’ll meet you at the courtyard?” before he even had the chance to reply back, you sprinted down the hallway in search of the lost man. “san!” you whisper-yelled, “choi! san! where! are! you-“ in a matter of seconds, you were harshly dragged to some random corner, shutting your eyes at the sudden movement you opened then slowly to find san standing there, frantically looking around to see if anyone saw the two of you as if the devil had come and dragged you two to hell. “wow, you almost dislocated my arm.” you rubbed your forearm, eyeing him with a pout. “where did you go?” he whispered aggressively, and you frowned. “where did i go? you’re the one to left! the minute i look back you’re poof gone!” you said with one eyebrow risen. “oh how i would love to argue but we have no time, now what to we do?” he groaned. “what do you mean? you follow me,” you pointed at yourself before taking a few steps away and then stopping. “we don’t have all day!” you watched the man roll his eyes playfully before following your lead, you grinned at the thought of everyone’s shocked faces when they’d spot san. “okay, i’ll go in first, do your thing and pop in like some magician okay? okay.” you give him a thumbs up and looked ahead, feeling his gaze on your side profile you inhaled and plastered a smile before taking a step in the gloomy courtyard. you waved at the couple sitting on the chair facing everyone before standing next to wooyoung while greeting the others around, the current discussions were occurring about what and when the rituals for the wedding will take place, as both their families laughed and shared their opinions. you on the other hand couldn’t help but feel the excitement pump in you. it was obvious that you were excited, from rocking back and forth on your feet and having the constant smile decorating your pink lips. “yo, are you okay? you’re kinda shaking?” wooyoung leaned down to whisper in your ear and you turned to give him a sheepish grin, without saying anything you looked ahead, very well aware of his confused expression. just as seulgi opened her mouth to say something the powers went out, a few shrieked at the sudden loss is lighting as hanbin calmed them down, “i’ll go check what’s going on,” “hey be careful, the weather outside isn’t the best.” wooyoung pointed up at the see-through the ceiling, the dark grey clouds looming around threatening to drizzle down. you looked around to see where san would’ve been, did he even make it inside? or did he get lost again? you left him at the entrance, then he should be here. your eyes scanned the entire room but there was no one except the people sitting inside. one of the family members walked up to open the window slightly, to let in some air as the power outage brought in the heat. the cold strong whiff of wind hit your face and you shut your eyes at the sudden impact, raising your hand over your eyes to block the pressure. as you were squinting in an effort to avoid the dust particles, you made out a very light silhouette of someone standing towards the furthest corner, you did a double-take and it wasn’t there anymore, you shrugged it away and assumed it was someone from the electricity team. around five minutes later the lights came back on, the fairy light bulbs that hung from post to post lit up to exhibit the shine that illuminated the entire room, hanbin had come back and taken his spot next to seulgi’s, hanging his arm over he shoulder loosely. “kang seulgi.” “yeah?” she responded as everyone around her went quiet, including you. “did anyone call me?” you bobbed your head left and right, looking around while others mirrored your reaction, and once again, the lights shut down. “i knew this place was haunted,” wooyoung mumbled under his breath, silently chanting a bible verse while moving to grip on your sleeve as if you’ll leave his side. “kang seulgi, my dear friend.” a knowing grin made it way on your lips, recognizing the voice as you watched seulgi’s face turn to you and you only shrugged innocently. “my friend who never believed in marriages…just who are you kim hanbin? changing my friend like that?” seulgi parted her mouth, shocked at what was going on. a whisper left her mouth but you couldn’t tell what it was, instead his voice spoke again. “i left for a hot minute and you already forgot me?” his voice echoed the room, and you felt the gush of wind behind you. you stifled in your spot when you felt something brush against your neck, “glad to know some people still remembered me.” sending a little extra amount of butterflies to take aviation in your gut. “ay! who is this? i swear hanbin, if this is one of you friends i’m throwing hands.” she yelled and you smirked, waiting for the moment to drop. and then suddenly the lights lit up brightly, once again brightening the entire room. your eyes focused on the familiar body kneeling in front of seulgi, from your peripheral you spotted wooyoung take a step back in shock. his heart beating at the same accelerating pace as seulgi, as seulgi yelled in excitement, launching her arms over san’s shoulders and embracing him tightly. you nudged wooyoung’s side and motioned for him to go by the mere tilt of your head. “go,” you whispered with a smile and he walked, then stopped and then ran to engulf san tightly.

burying his head in the crook of his neck as he mumbled excited phrases along the lines of san being an idiot and a bastard for never calling them. you smiled at the sight of the three huddled up in a hug together, warmness swarming over your as your watched san meet hanbin while wooyoung kept his arm around san’s shoulder, the excitement in him running in his body.

once everyone was familiar with san, everyone made sure to dote and treat him with absolute care even if it meant to spoil the hell out of him.

because that’s exactly what was happening, in front of you was a san laying down, his head resting over seulgi’s mom’s lap while she fed him the grapes she was cutting aside for tonight’s dinner. his giggles echoed the room, everyone had quickly grown a soft spot for him. you leaned on the doorframe and watched the man get spoiled for two days now, a temporary frown on your face as you watched the man eat the food that was yours. you scoffed before walking towards the wedding planners and immediately they thrust two buckets of white flowers in your hands, “we’re running low on our supply workers because the place is far from the town, we’re sorry for the inconvenience but this is what could help the wedding work.” you nodded, looking around seeing a few others helping around, and you watched the planner’s expression morph into stress and you spun on your heels as fast as you could so you wouldn’t add her more work to the already mess. halfway down the hallway, you jumped when san landed in front of you. an apple in his hand as he chewed while looking at you up and down. you moved to the left but instead he stopped to block your way, you sighed and stepped towards the right but then again choi san stopped you. “now what?” you hugged the basket to your stomach tighter, trying to make sure nothing falls off and makes a bigger mess and then you’ll get yelled at by the planners. “you’ve got nothing to do right?” he nodded, taking another bite of the red apple. “how about you go pick up seulgi’s grandparents from the train station? take my phone, their numbers are in there.” you said, stepping aside to walk away but the grip on your wrist jerked you back. “what happened now?” you sighed, staring in his dark eyes that glistened with the light. “your phone,” “oh,” you shook your head, “here it’s in my back pocket.” you gestured to your back with your head, tapping your feet on the ground waiting for him to hurry up so you could get these damn heavy buckets out of your arms. and almost as if the time stopped, he walked behind you. lopping his fingers on the waistband of your jeans and pulling you close till your back collided with his chest.

his hot breath fanned on your neck made every hair on your body stand up, sending a continuous shiver down your body. and you felt your phone being slipped out of your pocket, once the feeling was gone. you cleared your throat and said a small bye to him before walking away with a fast-beating heart.

“bless you sweetheart!”

san dipped his head slightly before dragging the luggage he held with a death tight grip inside the room, letting out a huff before stepping aside so that the elderly couple could walk in and rest from the intense train ride. “thanks, san.” seulgi patted his shoulder, eyes stuck on her grandparents ‘wowing’ over the small embellishments covering the pillows. “no worries,” she smiled and shook her head, looking at the man who she calls her best friend. “how was venice?” she questioned, finally deciding to talk to him about how he was doing since she hadn’t had the chance to sit down and talk to him. “it was great,” he replied, smiling at the memories he made there with his crew-mates. “you left us for quite a while, huh?” he let out a sigh, glancing at his feet before looking at her. “i know, but i’m here now?” she replied with a sheepish smile, earning a slap on the shoulder by seulgi. “you tell me, you and hanbin? wasn’t it you and woo?” she froze, “w-what?” he chuckled, leaning on the hallway wall, arms crossed and a slight tilt in his head. “did i lie?” “how did you know?” “everyone knew, you aren’t that good at lying.” he smiled, eyes falling at seulgi’s frowning face. “that was in the past,” she started, smiling as she remembers the past. “i guess i really did like him because i didn’t realize how much it hurt me. seeing him with any other woman made my blood boil,” she scoffed, and san lifted his lips in a teasing smile. “but then i found hanbin,” her face morphed into what seemed like love, if being in love had a face, that’s exactly what it was. “he made me realize my worth, and to not fall for some dumbass who wouldn’t stop running behind girls.” “it feels nice, spending time with the right people makes everything right.”

“i don’t know,” she continued, “he made me feel like i was back in high school, and he was the senior i had a crush on, doesn’t make sense right?” she laughed, watching the dark haired man nod a no. “of course you wouldn’t, you’ve never fallen in love.” she dramatized her arms in the air but stopped, “wait- how about y/n?” “what about her?” he tilted his head the other way, “woo likes her?” his eyes widened in shock. “what? no! i’m talking about you and y/n!” she exclaimed. “well, what about me and her?” he asked, raising his eyebrow as if telling her to continue. “choi san, you’re ridiculous!” seulgi yelled, shaking her head in disbelief. “don’t you like, like like her? or are you playing some games because that’s definitely not the time to.” he raised his hands in the air as if giving up. “she’s, i don’t know… its different.” he says. “yeah, different but in what way?” she wiggled her eyebrows, voice laced with an immense amount of teasing. “uh, i don’t know, she’s nice an-“ “just nice? nothing else? god, san, it’s time for you to settle down!” hearing this san laughed, surely at one point he wanted to settle down. but the time was no way near, he had so much to do, so much to explore, he couldn’t let his speed be slowed down for a mere marriage. love was something that was a taboo thing in san’s dictionary, marriage was a whole another thing. growing up with a stepmother that he disliked with his whole heart and his father who he barely talked too. he didn’t exactly get the ‘love’ from the two, of course, his parents loved each other and san.

but san would go out of his way to make his parents hate him. did he succeed? some may say that he did once his father passed away, and as for his stepmother? he hasn’t seen her face once in the past years. the concept of love was too cliché, watching pop culture movies that diminished the meaning of love for him.

marriage seemed like a contract between two people than some spiritual tie, all is good as long as the two of you are on the same page. but one mistake could shatter everything, even leading to divorce. he wasn’t exactly ready for the idea of love or marriage, sometimes even thinking he wasn’t made for shit like that. he only chuckled at his friend frowning at him before the elderly called for her and she waved him a quick bye. he cracked his neck, thinking about what seulgi had said to him. he’s never fallen in love but he was curious as to what it did, it did change her in a good way, would it change him? he sighed, placing his hands in his pocket and pushing off the wall, ready to walk down the hallway to disturb you by doing something to distract your attention. but he stopped, feeling an extra pair of a phone in his pocket, and smirked.

“y/n, which dress for tonight? glittery pazazz or the little black dress?” you shifted your eyes to the full body mirror next to your closet, a reflection of seulgi holding up two hangers with dresses latched onto them. lifting them up slightly as she looked at you for an answer, you tapped your chin. “the little black seems a bit too plain for your bachelorette, the glittery dress would make you the star of the evening! a walking talking disco ball, do that one!” you pointed and a satisfied grin decorated seulgi’s lips. you watched her run to your washroom, galloping her way through the wave of clothes that hit your room. and you sighed, glancing back to where you left off in your closet, raking your hand through the same fabrics again while sighing. today was supposed to be seulgi’s bachelorette, but it seems as if you’re not going because you can’t find anything decent to wear.

it’s not that you don’t have anything to wear, but that’s exactly what’s going in your mind, no doubt you had some lit clothes, but looking back at closet, they just don’t seem good enough. seulgi’s bachelorette meant only for girls, meaning the previous classmates of yours would be invited plus the ladies from hanbin’s side because seulgi was nice enough to invite them for their own girls night. the theme was new year’s in seulgi’s wonderland, dressing as fancy as you can because it’s the only day you could bring out your extraness. “can’t find anything to wear?” you shifted your gaze to the mirror, seeing seulgi lean on the washroom doorframe with one of her hand holding the hair curler while the other held a hair spray bottle. “they don’t scream new year’s to me, i was expecting a more formal wedding.” you teased and she clicked her tongue, swiftly glancing at the alarm clock on your bedside. “go to my room, and grab a dress you like.” she suddenly says, and you turn around to look at her. “but tha-“ “quickly go! we have half an hour, i don’t wanna be late to my own bachelorette!” you pressed your lips together in a small smile before rushing out the door as seulgi screamed like your alarm clock. “alright, alright!” you shut the door behind and stepped back, turning your heels to the right to walk towards her room. “what’re you guys doing?” you jumped at the sudden voice in your ear, turning around to see san standing in his white head to toe outfit. “uh, just getting ready for seulgi’s bachelorette,” you paused, “…do you need anything?” you asked, flickering your hand in front of his face. “choi san to earth?” you snapped your fingers in a zig-zag motion in front of his face. “huh, oh, i needed her charger,” he lifted his phone up, “wooyoung accidentally cut through mine, and seulgi had an extra in handy so i just wanted to take that.” “oh okay, do you wanna…follow me? i was going go to her room anyway.” you suggested, and he nodded almost immediately, following right behind you as you walked over to the room two doors beside yours. “are you guys going to hanbin’s bachelor party too?” you questioned, hands-on the doorknob before twisting it and jutting the door open. you heard him hum a, yes, his eyes stuck to the back of your head. you turned around, “her charger should be over there,” you pointed at her bedside table drawer, his eyes followed and nodding as he stopped towards the end. you took off towards her closet, pulling it open to reveal piles of colourful and eccentric clothing.

it seemed as if she hoarded onto every fabric and design piece as you looked at the entire thing, feeling slightly overwhelmed at what to choose that wouldn’t make you late but also still match the party theme. “can’t decide?” you jumped at the sudden words, turning your head to see san looking at you while playing with the charging cord, you nodded before looking back at the rays of clothes. “it’s hard to choose from her array of clothes, theres too many to choose from and it wil-“ “how’s that?” you froze in your spot, feeling san’s hot breath fanning over the shell of your ear. his arm extending out from behind you to point at the closet, your back flush against his chest. “it’s a nice colour, you’d look good in it.” your eyes looked at the midnight blue dress he was holding, “maybe even better than the bride herself,” he said, and you shuddered at the closeness. “what do you think?” his breath fanned the skin underneath your ear, feeling his lips slightly brush against the skin causing you to chew in your lower lip as his sweet voice whispered softly. you let out a shaky sigh and nodded, unable to make any words out, still shocked at the sensation your body is pouring out as his chest his pressed against your back sending jitters over your entire body. he smirked, pulling his hand back down to his side. “have fun.” he says and you heard his feet pad away on the carpet, shutting the door behind as he left and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you held. reaching out to place a hand over your chest, your heart trembling violently. your bit your lip harder, shutting your eyes tightly at the churning of your stomach.

“just one more drink!”

you widened your eyes at the guest ladies surrounding you, you had just entered the ballroom (located inside the house, yes, crazy) and half of them were already drunk. you unlinked your hands from seulgi’s hold and followed her down to her bride compartment, your eyes roamed the room as you walked behind her. confetti and glittery substance in the air and on the floor, some over others dresses or hair. disco lights stabbing through the room as it illuminated bright neon lights, a big shiny disco ball hanging reflecting perfectly. the dim lights and the dark weather outside putting the atmosphere at the perfect mood. you could swiftly spot the small pool from where you stood, “today, i’ll drink all my money away!” seulgi yelled beside you and you shook your head, taking a seat beside her on the grey couch. you grabbed a glass of fruit punch from the waitress and leaned in on the couch, watching the events unfold right before your eyes. you decided not to drink a lot tonight, after all, you were the responsible friend and had to take care of the unfortunate hangover that seulgi will definitely get from all this drinking she’s doing. you laughed internally, eyes surveying the room. everyone seemed to so happy, you were too, you wanted this moment to stop. so that you could live in it for a while before going back to your normal life. the normal life consisting of giving lectures on historical events, calling the supposed bad boys out on their behaviour, marking tests with your favourite red pen and finally sleeping on your bed. that’s how your life was on a daily, it was better than before, definitely. no more medicine textbooks or the pressure of becoming something you didn’t aspire to be. would your life be the same after this? definitely not. it’s a thought you’ve been debating about ever since you woke up. the feeling of not being able to see everyone makes your heart sink. seulgi will be off to her honeymoon and into her married life, wooyoung would be off taking care of his bar / pub whilst doing modelling gigs here and there, san wou- “y/n,” you jumped, “have a drink my friend! it’s time to loosen up!” seulgi’s body lunged over to you, placing a glass of shot near your lips as she forced it down your throat. you cringed at the taste of lemon and salt, “don’t drink so much, you don’t be able to have fun when the mains come in.” you said, and you saw her morph her face into confusion and you sighed shaking your head because she definitely didn’t hear you from the loud music in the background.

“okay, okay, we can’t just slip in there. there’s a big ass sign that says ‘girl’s only’ and where do we look like girls from?” “hey seonghwa, stop such a spoilsport! this is called having fun, clearly you don’t know gramps.” wooyoung said, placing an arm around seonghwa’s shoulder and he pinched his stomach. “i kind of agree with seonghwa here, seulgi wouldn’t appreciate us being ther-“ “hanbin, you worry too much.” san slipped in beside him, smiling playfully. “seulgi’s into men who play with fire and if she sees you sneaking in like that? you’re definitely having fun tonight.” a loud rumble of laughter followed san’s words, hanbin stopped to think but san patted his shoulder making him look at the man. “don’t worry, we’re all doing this with you.” he grinned at hanbin, who nodded. “okay, so then. grab your outfits, we’re crashing some party tonight!” hanbin’s first pumped in the air making everyone yell in excitement. “that’s my man! oh yeah!” a solid few minutes of the guys dressing up in their favourite dress, all from the courtesy of seulgi’s lavish closet.

they were finally ready, their long legs outshined while the dresses hugged their bodies, sparkling with every twist and turn. wigs adorning their hair, twinkling jewelry and earrings and the right amount of no.5. “holy shit, yeosang, you’re hot.” wooyoung pointed, licking his lips playfully while yeosang flipped his fake hair. “okay, what’re our names?” “i call dibs on barbara,” seonghwa said, fixing his hair to tousle over the left side. “call me sally, sally henson!” “isn’t that a nail polish company?” “and what about it, yeosang?” wooyoung jutted his lip out, raising an eyebrow while placing a hand on his hips. “guys,” everyone in the room turned to the voice, “oh my god.” they all said. “meet my alter ego,” he flips his hair,  “brandy.” “oh f-“ the guys burst into fits of laughter, some falling on the floor from the scene in front of their eyes, others hiding their reddened faces resulting from the lack of air in their systems. a very beautiful hanbin— brandy, leaning her arm against the doorframe, a lollipop in his mouth as he sucked it with a pop. “forget seulgi,” changkyun said between his laughter, “you might as well do some porn gigs, brandy!” this only resulted in the guys toppling over each other even more, their dresses ridding up as they fell on to each other. “oi, i’m doing this for y’all!” hanbin whined, watching all the men raise their hands and waving them back and forth as they inhaled and exhaled loudly. “okay, okay,” san choked out, “let’s get this party started!” “we go in and pretend we belong there, if one of us get caught, don’t you dare blow others covers. we’re trying to make it till the end without getting caught, gather around!” hanbin yelled, his tone of voice sounding like a coach of a high school basketball team. “all for on-“ “what is this? barbie and the three musketeers?” wooyoung interrupted. crickets, “anyways, hands together girls!” the boys placed their hands in the center, hanbin taking the lead to finish his phrase again. “all for one,” “one for all!” the rest finished, doing last-minute check-up in the mirror before walking out the room, hips swaying, hands playing with the ends of their hair and heels clacking against the wooden floor. “y/n, he’s sooooo hotttt! oh my god, he’s coming to you!” you widened your eyes, glancing at the strippers making their way towards the couch. despite the obvious pleading of seulgi for you to get up and have a show from one of the strippers, you managed to dodge her attempts. right then, a crowd of hot girls walked in. legs longer then the burj khalifa, dresses mocking all branded couture fashion, hair better than the tresemmé commercial models. striding in like victoria secret models, purses gripped in their hands as they walked in, waving hands at the strippers with a sly wink as the wind blew in their faces. “yo, this is better than hanbin’s party could ever get, honestly hanbin you suck.” “oh yeah? and you suck my di-“ “woah, woah, okay, okay!” there eyes roamed the entire room, looking for their targets- the ladies, waving flirty kisses and hands to the waiters. wooyoung leaned over to san, “hey trixie, where are the girls?” “jandice-“ “candice!” “okay, jaundice, if you don’t shut up, maybe we’ll end up finding them.” he grits his teeth, smiling and moving his body slowly to the beat. san’s eyes travelled the room, looking at every girl in there, scrunching his nose up in cringe at the ladies being wasted and escorted out the room. his lips immediately turned into a smirk when he spotted tonight’s targets, “there, there are our ladies, huddled together with a fine man humping the floor.” he grinned, as everyone turned their heads, nodding simultaneously in unison. “mission starts now.” “oh my god, if hanbin found out about this, seulgi you’re dead!” you yelled, recording her fawning over the extremely attractive male stripper. “let him! he’s missing out on this beauty!” you laughed, pointing her camera at the man and zooming in excessively as your slight tipsy self allows you to be.

making sure to use her phone because you definitely want her to see herself when she browses through her gallery tomorrow and the fact that you can’t seem to find your phone. it must be back in the room you thought, shrugging and focusing back on the recording and then you stopped looking through the phone and looked up, crossing your eyebrows in confusion. “hey, seul? do we know those girls there?” you pointed, tilting your head slightly as you looked at them up and down. very questionable choice of fashion you thought, incredibly tall too, and with those heels, you wondered why they haven’t hit the ceiling yet. “nope, hanbin probably sent his girl friends or cousins, come let’s go greet them!” she grabbed your hand and pulled you up, pulling you through the crowd of glittery dresses and sweaty bodies the two of you reached the big hurdle. “hi!” seulgi’s very drunk self yelled on top of her lungs, waving a hand frantically to them. you watched as one of them mouthed something but you couldn’t exactly make it out since the atmosphere and the lighting was loud and dark. “you must be hanbin’s friends?” she yelled, her brown hair moving as she nodded her head at them. “ah- yes! we’re all this friends and long lost cousins!” one of them uproars, laughing in a very high pitched tone. “long, long lost cousins!” one of them corrects, and you couldn’t help but hear the really deep voice of the girl, a baritone. you laughed awkwardly, trying to pry away seulgi so you could go back to the couch and be the awkward social butterfly. smirking through your gritted teeth you leaned down to whisper in her ear, “let’s leave!” and brushed it off with a laugh. “how can we leave them! my hanbin would be so mad if i didn’t welcome them! gurls! get your drinks and light yourself up!” “not literally! please don’t, that’d be a mess to clean!” you swatted her arm down, glancing at the ladies smiling, and you couldn’t help but be a little skeptical about them. they looked great, even better than you, but something about them was off putting, from far away they looked posh and chic, but the closer you are you noticed something off, was it the hair? was it a wig? you brushed away the thought before it could go anywhere else, wearing wigs was absolutely fine and you are no one to judge them in anyway, but, but there’s somethin- “oho! seulgi-yaa, who’s this pretty friend of yours!” “ah her?” seulgi pointed a finger at you, “this is the one and on-“ “uh, i’m y/n nice to meet you, but uh, we gotta go.” you dragged seulgi alongside you, her screaming on top of her lungs to the song lyrics being blasted. it seemed as if the party wasn’t going to end at all, the continuous dancing and the music being blared out made you drowsy, but you had to stay awake, and with a couple of shots that is. “woah, woah, slowdown sweetheart.” you craned your head to the side, glancing at the face that was extremely close to yours, you jumped back. “oh, you’re one of those girls aren’t you?” you slurred out, although you had a very high alcohol tolerance, you still liked acting drunk than you already were. “yeah, i’m trixie,” she extended her hand out and you looked at her before giving in and skating her hand, her hand was definitely bigger than yours and a bit on the stronger side too, and you wondered if she did some workout sessions. “i’m-“ “y/n, i know.” she smiled and you couldn’t help but see something similar in her. “h-have i seen you before? or do you maybe have a brother of some sort?” she threw her head back in laughter and you watched her bewildered, even the laugh is so similar. there was something so familiar that you couldn’t pinpoint and it bothered you. “forget about that, let’s go dance?” she offered, extending her hand out to you. you gave her a lazy grin before taking her hand, immediately being pulled to the neon-lit dance floor. san interlocked his fingers with you, loving this whole facade of being trixie, waiting for the moment you realize that it’s actually him behind all this disguise. and the expression that would be on your face, letting out a cheeky grin he noticed the others had joined the dance floor as well, only boasting his confidence even more. you watched trixie dance and you stood there with your mouth hung open, wondering where in the hell did she learn how to dance like that? everyone around was dancing so well that others and noticed them too. and so did the strippers, who came marching down towards trixie and the rest. instantly starting to do their job of being the sirens of lust, grinding on anything and everything ever possible, and why wouldn’t they, after all, they’re getting paid a hell lot. you watched as the really tall girl, the one with voice lower than san’s elementary school grades scurry away whenever one of the working men walked towards her, holding back a laugh you focused on trixie enjoying her life between two strippers. and that’s when you realized. that these were not just some random girl’s who happened to be hanbin’s friends or cousins, but this was a much more planned setup. the slow smirk now decorated your face as you looked at the group, it finally made sense, you finally pieced it together. “san!” you yelled, and for a second you thought her head turned to look around, and that’s when it was fully confirmed. you called all their names one by one whilst the loud bass in the background and as expected they all had some sort of reaction to it. you smirked and moved closer towards trixie— or san that is, swaying your hips ever so slightly you maintained and eye contact with him, he who seemed to pause and also mirrored your expression. you smiled, getting even closer and placing a hand on his shoulder, which threw him back by surprise and when you pulled on his jacket collar he looked at you with wide eyes, so wide that you were afraid they might pop out. “y/n? what’re you doing?” he said and you heard it perfectly despite the music, leaning over to slightly tiptoe and each his ear, you saw him gulp. “what are you doing, choi san?” and he froze, eyes stuck to your side profile as his thoughts ran a marathon in his mind. he can’t possibly let you know that that’s him under the disguise and he can’t rip apart the cover for everyone and bring them down with him. so he grabbed your wrist, pulling you through the hurdle of people out the door, away from e loud music. you looked at him, taking in his appearance from head to toe. blond wig positioned perfectly, a purple bell bottom pants, a highlighter lime green tube top? and a purple leather jacket over it. “you still like purple a lot, huh?” you glanced at the taller male standing with his head down as if a kid was being scolded for something by their parent. a small smile tugged on his lips, lifting his head up he grinned at you. “s-surprise..?” “you know this says that only girls are allowed in,” you point at the big chalk board that wrote ‘girl’s only!’ in cursive. “didn’t you guys have your own party to attend, tonight? like, right about now?” taking a deep breath in he tilted his head to the side, letting his eyes fall on your boy. an amused expression on his face as his eyes scanned you up and down, “you wore the dress?” “yes, san, i did. but this isn’t what we are talking about,” you tapped your stiletto heel on the carpeted floor, pushing back a strand of hair from your face. you were in fact wearing what he chose for you, the time was running and that was the only option. “i- we did, actually, uh, we wanted to, uh, experiment, honestly it was all hanbin’s idea, he came up with it! he wanted to show seulgi his different side, a daring side i must say…” you rose your eyebrow at his words, hanbin, a man of saints could never in his dreams ever think of such an idea, only if he were to be influenced by the shenanigans of these men. but you had to admit, they pulled it food quite well. “oi, sa- oh shiiit.” your head snapped back at the club exit, the very tall girl, mingi standing there with his hand on the doorknob, one foot halfway in the air, eyes widened as he looked at you and then san and then back at you. “it wasn’t me, i swear y/n! it was wo-“ “what’s taking you so lo-“ speaking of the devil himself, wooyoung had just barely made it out the door that he turned back on his heels, running in the pits of the club. only for seulgi to hop out, eyebrows furrowed as she tripped pass mingi, who gulped. “now, someone explain this to me.” you watched all the boys huddled up before you, heads facing down and hands clasped in a prayer form, kneeling in front of seulgi who sat on her bed, gawking at the guys. “who planned this?” “hanbin!” “kim hanbin!” “wow, way to throw me under the bus!” hanbin rose his head, “but please, seulgi it wasn’t me, it was a-“ a loud gasp from wooyoung cane from the back, “seulgi, my girl, please trust us, we meant no harm.” he stepped forth, bowing down at her feet and you placed a hand over your mouth, muffling back a laugh. as you scanned the boys bowing down on the varieties floor down at seulgi’s feet, you made eye contact with san’s mischievous eyes. “it was my idea, i did it.” he suddenly spoke, “if you’re going to punish, then i’m all ears.” after a few minutes of silence, seulgi burst out laughing, and you looked at her in confusion, the guys lifting their heads up in confusion too. “are you crazy?” you think she might’ve gotten so mad that she’s doing something like this, your eyes widened and you moved forward closer to him. “seul, i’m sure the-“ “this was an amazing idea!” you snapped your head towards her, “what?” “what?” the guys let out unanimously. “dressing up as girls to barge into a bachelorette,” she moved her hands in the air frantically, “such a movie plot, i love it!” your jaw dropped and you looked at the guys who mirrored your expression, “o-of course! that’s what we had in mind, make this a movie like adventure!” hanbin chided, giving a look to the guys who immediately laughed nervously and backed him up. “anyways, forget about this, let’s go party!” “wait, so you’re not angry?” “what? no, of course not!” she stood up, pointing her hands to the door before walking out, you shared a glance with hanbin who seemed to be as confused as you were. “oh, y/n are you joining?” seulgi’s head popped out from the door and you looked at her before swiftly taking a glance at the clock. “i’ll take a breather, you guys go,” you assured, getting tired of the dress material digging into your side as well as the heels poking your feet with every step you took, you wanted nothing more than sleeping on your soft bed after taking a hot shower. “alright, goodnight (y/n)!” you waved them a bye and walked out of the room, going to your own room on the other side of the house. shutting the door behind you, you stripped off all the clothes made your way towards the bathroom where the shower was calling for you.  weaving your fingers through your hair you shampooed them with a nice smelling conditioner and shampoo. stepping out of the shower, the mist evaporates to the atmosphere and you change into your pyjamas, placing the grey towel around your neck and heading out to your room. the faint noise of the bass could still be heard and you chuckled at the thought of how everyone would be quiet tomorrow because of their major hangovers, the total contrast of tonight. plopping your body on the bed, arms resting on your stomach and you looked up at the window ceiling. smiling at the incident that had happened moments before, the panicky voices and unsure eyes glancing around. a sigh escapes your lips, and you turn your head to the side, eyes zoning out to the vase of purple flowers resting on the coffee table. it’s only a matter of a few days, after seulgi’s wedding is completed, everything will go back to how it was. you wanted to have so much fun during your stay here because it felt like a retreat to you, a relaxing retreat with your closest friends. but here you are, instead of loosening up, you’re huddled up in your bed looking at a fake plant piece while the rest must be partying away. you realized that that wasn’t exactly how you would’ve spent a normal wedding as, as far as loosening up, that’s the best you could do. you still liked to hold yourself back, for the first few times you were great. having an amazing night with your friends and going to clubs almost every weekend. but you soon realized that you weren’t exactly made for such type of events, you didn’t stop attending them, but just kept a limit for yourself. you wanted to have fun just like others but sometimes you felt as if you wanted to just lay back in a room all by yourself while holding a cup of tea and a book or your phone. suddenly the thought of taking a walk fawned over you, grabbing the nearest throw blanket, you wrapped it around yourself as you had just taken a shower and had no plans of getting sick right before the actual event.

stepping out your room and heading towards the pool gardens, a nice reserved area with a cement bench parked in the middle of the knee-deep pool. you walked bare foot on the pool edge, using your toe to dip in the water just to check the temperature before rolling your pyjama’s up to your knee and diving your self in.

walking to the bench you sat down and looked around, surrounded by the sheer darkness illuminated by the lights and the lights from underneath the pool. dangling your feet back and forth, you smiled at the coolness hitting you and the quietness around you. but that was soon disrupted by another voice, a deeper and familiar voice filling in your ear. “lonely?” you snapped your head back, eyes widening but relaxing when you saw who it was. “yeah…wanna join?” you looked at san, hair now a slight mess and his clothes now in his normal attire. you watched him slip his foot out his slides and place a little of his foot in the water, only to jerk back in shock, “holy, this is so cold!” his widened eyes met yours and you laughed. waving a hand over for him to come in, “it’s fine, it’s not even that cold.” you said, patting the place next to yours. he eyed you as if you were out of your mind it made you fall into fits of laughter, “stop being a coward san, hop in! it’s fine, you’ll get used to the temperature.” you assured and for a second you thought you had convinced him to come, but sighed when he kept looking at you in disbelief. “here, you take my blanket.” you pointed to the fuzzy baby blue blanket draped over your shoulder and almost immediately he jumped in, cringing at the coldness around his feet, the silence now being interrupted by the water squelching with every step san took towards you. “what’re you doing here…all alone, away from the party?” he shivered as he sat, immediately taking half of your blanket and wrapped it around himself, making sure that you also had some, and for a second you felt your heart swell. “the same thing you’re doing.” you’re out softly, biting on your lower lip and looking in front of you. the two of you sat in silence, occasionally moving your feet and feeling the water waves around you. the soft cool breeze sifting through your hairs, the faint music in the background and the stunning lights lightening the darkness. "hey, san.” you spoke, he craned his head to look at you and hummed. “why didn’t you come back?” the air around you suddenly became heavier, you could feel the tension shift violently. although what you asked was a touchy subject, you believe you at least deserve an answer. “you left for eight years, san, eight fucking years.” you started, shifting on the bench slightly. “with no trace, no calls, no nothing, we didn’t even know if you were alive anymore…” your voice slowly turning into a whisper, you shifted your gaze to your lap. “so much happened during the years-“ “my dad died.” he suddenly started, voice cracking. you nodded slowly, remembering the sombre day that the last rites had happened. everyone dressed in white as they watched the event unfold in front of your eyes. “i was in italy, the mountains…” he says, “no phone, no internet. just me and five others.” “dad died on monday, and i found out on friday.” your heart dropped to your stomach, swallowing the thick lump in your throat. “no one told me.” “w-we did san, we did.” you started, shakily. “me, woo, seul, we kept calling you multiple times, but it kept activating the computer voice. we thought that you might be busy, or in-flight to reach back home.” “we waited….visited your step-mother every day until she herself was fine. we sent you emails, calls, letters. anything- anything to let you know that come back, san come back.” you blinked your eyes a few times, trying not to let the water pooling in your waterline to start dropping down on your lap. “i couldn’t even see him for…one last time, my cousin had already performed the rites by the time i came.” his voice held such sadness, almost turning into a whisper, hands gripping on the bench, knuckles turning white. “i couldn’t see him y/n! i- shit i didn’t- get too!” you turned to face him, placing a hand on his hand. he lifted his head slightly and you could see the tears rolling down his cheeks, you hated seeing him like that, it broke your heart. he was shaking, you tore your eyes away from his to wipe your own tears with the back of your hand. and then scooting closer to him, placing an arm around his waist, which made him lean on your shoulder.

you could feel the wetness of his tears deep through the satin of your clothes as he buries his head in your shoulder. rubbing his back up and down in order for him to calm down, his sniffles and hiccups really made you want to rewind time and bring back his father, so at least he could see him. sniffling yourself, you rose your hand from his back to his hair, timidly reaching your fingers out to caress his hair. feeling his hair tickle your neck because of his shaky movements. “it’s alright, he’s always with you. looking after you…” chewing on your lower lip you continued, “…will be guiding you along your way.” you knew the words you spoke would not bring his father back, but you hoped that it brought him some sort of serenity, you knew he must’ve heard that multiple times but for some reason, it felt as if it was your duty to tell him so. “we all are here with you, we’ll take care of you, and it’ll be alright.” you sighed, raising your head to look up while patting his head softly. “y-you all won’t leave me, right?” you smiled sadly, hearing his words almost made you scoff. he was the one who left everyone, but you all didn’t dare too. you shook your head, “no, we won’t ever leave you.” your cheek rubbed against his mop of hair. “for as long as you want san, we’ll be there but-t you have to stay with us too.” the silence was enough to answer your request, pressing your lips in a firm line you some once again. “now stop crying, we have to get back to our rooms.” you mumbled against his head, which made him rise up. “thank you.” “h-huh?” he took one of your hands and wrapped his own around it, “thanks for always being there for me, i was wrong.” “i thought you all would forget me, that’s one of the reasons why i just never came back.” you looked at his glossy eyes with a soft smile. “we would never forget about you,” you assured and be finally smiled a little. “i-i was afraid that if i came back…it would make me wanna stay here. i wouldn’t be able to go back, and live how i wanted my life to be like,” he says, tone slightly trembling. “seeing you all here would make me have a change of heart and move back here, i want to stay with you all but i want to travel, see the world before i spend my last minutes in a hospital bed regretting the choice of staying back.” don’t get him wrong, he wanted to stay but at the same time he wanted to travel. he had fought with the dilemma way back when he first got to new york, he wanted to leave everything and go back because he was so used to everything, he didn’t want it to change. once he finally got used to the routine, it was easier to not think about such thoughts again. but then again some sleepless nights lead to one thought to another, as if how would life be if he was still back home? would he be able to live how he is now? he did regret leaving for so long and not returning, he really did. but when your heart is stuck in one place, is there really a way you could get it to change? “san, how about you stay with us for a while? travel around here, and see the different places here? in this country?” you suggested, sounding slightly selfish because you didn’t want him to leave. he shook his head, “i can’t do that (y/n), i have to go back.” a defeated sigh leaving his lips. you felt your stomach churn at the thought of him leaving again, in the position you were in for the last eight years. you two sat in silence, feeling the water around you turn a warmer than before, the music now being changed to some pop-funk and you felt the bass’s vibrations. the wind blowing in your face, blowing away your hair slowly. “anyway, why did you come here? aren’t you the life of the party, shouldn’t you be in the occasion right now?” you asked, trying to divert the topic. “same goes for you,” he says, lifting his head up to meet your eyes. “you’re the life of the party too, i saw how you were dancing.” he smiled and you felt butterflies take over you. “you were once the shy girl huddle up with books gripped around her chest, hair slicked back with some nice scented oil and thick glasses hanging on your nose bridge.” he laughed, and you joined in, shaking your head at the previous you. san’s eyes looked at you, you were once the timid and shy girl, but now. now you’ve matured into what he can only describe as a beauty. your straight hair, coloured in a mixture of dark and light brown, now slightly wavy. your eyes shine and your lips rosy, he smiled softly before looking up at the sky, glancing at the numerous amount of stars while moving his feet backs and forth. “you know your smile is so deadly?” he suddenly said, and you faced him with confusion written on your face. “if i had somewhat of a heart, i’d make sure you’re the one who gets it.” “sheesh, you’re so cliché.” you responded, scrunching your nose a little with a smile. “cliché? you used to die over these filmy lines.” “me? die over you? please!” the two of you shared a couple seconds in silence before you spoke up again, “see, i told you, you’d get used to the temperature.” you pointed, remembering his quivering self when he stepped in the pool. “hm, you’re always right.” “so, haven’t you dated in the past years?” he asked and you rose your eyebrows, face to look at him. “i did, but they didn’t last long,” you said, pressing your weight on your hands. suddenly remembering the boy you had dated for four months before calling it quits because he couldn’t handle his drinking addiction. “you probably dated didn’t you? the sibling duo you wanted?” you laughed at the recollection of that memory, which made san laugh because he remembered that very well. “i did, but they were just one night’s.” he says and you nodded, shaking your head at the possible number of hookup’s he must’ve had. san smirked, playfully. reaching down in his pocket to take out the second phone he had, yours, hiding it so you couldn’t exactly see it in his hold. “but you’ve got someone crushing on you,” he says and you snap your head to look at him, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “someone? crushing? on me?” you laughed dryly. “of course! he’s been crushing on you so hard that he sends you song lyrics as texts.” he says, lifting your phone up slightly but still out of your vision. “who’s lame enough to do that?” you asked in disbelief, the audacity of san thinking that someone had a crush on you while you- “where’s your phone?” he suddenly asked and you shrugged your shoulders. “somewhere in my room, why?” “nothing, just happened to cross by your room…” he slowly lifts up the phone from his side, “and found it ringing, with a special someone calling?” he teased and your eyes widened, immediately throwing hands to reach out for your phone. you let out a gasp, “san, give it back!” you whined, reaching past him to grab your phone from his hold. he moved his body in front of you so you couldn’t reach it whatsoever, your arms wrestled with him as you tried to pry your phone away from him. “everyday, and night, i’m gon’ chase you? are you serious?” he mocked, switching the phone to his other hand while you struggled to reach. “choi san, give me my phone back, this instant!” you groaned, rising to your feet and standing in front of him with hands-on your hips. “is this how you scold the kids in your class?” he teased, a shit-eating grin on his face. “wait a second, that’s actually pretty hot. submissive girl turning into a dom real qu-“ before he could even finish his sentence, you lunged in him to grab your phone. while pushing his body off the bench and into the pool, while you’re on top of him, plunging in the blues of the water with your eyes shut closed. you quickly got up to the surface and gasped for air, pushing back your hair as the water dropped down from your face. and then you realized, “san!” you looked over to him sitting on the surface, and let out a relived sigh. “i thought you must’ve drowned,”

“i have a doctor here who wouldn’t let me die actually,” he grinned.

and then you realize the position you were in, your arms dropped over san’s shoulders while his hands were on your waist, underwater. underwater…underwater? and the sudden realization hit you like a truck, “my phone! my phone, san you- ugh!” you reached for his hands underwater and grabbed the phone, bringing it to your eye level and watching the water drip from it as if it were a waterfall. you frowned and looked at san, who was busy pushing his hair back. oh how mad you were at him, but why did he have to look so good like that, the black shirt he was wearing clung onto his torso perfectly. and that’s when you realized, your pyjamas, were cream, see-through, water. and you gasped, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at san who rose his eyebrow in return. “what?” he asked, moving his eyes down and then he realized, “i didn’t see anything!” “you ruined my phone! all my stuff was in it, you idiot!” you smacked his arm before stopping and looking at the water dropping out of your phone. “just put it in rice, y/n! hey-y stop!” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you forward, your faces now right in front of each other’s. you stopped to suck in a breath as you stared down in his eyes, the sparkly dark brown eyes looking at you through watery eyelashes. your eyes roamed around his face, and the two of you stayed still for a few seconds before you pulled your wrist back. your groaned and got up, penguin walking to the sidewalk and taking a step up then turning back to look at san sitting in the water with your blanket drenched around him. with a rapidly beating heart, you walked away towards your room. “y/n, dummy, i’m coming in, you forgot your blanke-“ san stopped dead in his tracks, door halfway opened as he glanced at your sleeping body tucked under the soft duvets. he smiled, slowly making his feet over the edge of your bed and placing the dried blanket on your sheets and making his way back to the door. stopping just to look over his shoulders, grinning and then leaving the room. skipping towards his own and shutting the door quietly before dropping on his bed.

“did you see the dress that girl was wearing?”  

“right? too much, better not wear anything if you can’t hi-“ “oh! san-ah, what’re you doing here? with your bag? are you going somewhere?” the two elderly ladies eyed a very suspicious san, who was in the middle of climbing the wall that leads to the outside with his big bag hung over his shoulder. “a-ah, nowhere!” he responded, smiling brightly at the two who giggled and walked ahead, once the ladies were out of sight, he let out a relieved sigh. “thank god.” he placed a hand over his heart, bending over slightly. “what’re you doing now?” you place your hands on your hips, watching san freeze and slowly turn around. “i’m going to visit the town,” he says, grilling on his bag. your rose your eyebrows, “with your bag? you’re not planning to leave right? seulgi would be very upset.” “wow, you’re really using emotional blackmail on me? that’s not fair.” he retorted and you tilted your head. “okay, fine.” he starts, “i’ll stay.” stepping closer to you with a cheeky grin on his face. “what’re you doing?” he asked, eyeing your outfit, “you look very fresh today, y/n.”

“working, today’s the last day before the wedding, shouldn’t you be helping out?” you asked, putting a hand in your back pockets. “ah, about that, it’s not my wedding.” he grinned ready to walk away but you got a grip on his bag’s strap, pulling him back. “c’mon let’s get you to change into a more suitable outfit.” you pulled him towards his room, hearing him whine and trip over his own feet. “here wear this.” you shoved a plain black shirt in his chest, turning around to fix the clattered clothes in his room, cringing at the slimy of shorts on his bed as you picked them up. “if you wanted to see me naked, you should’ve told me,” he mutters and you could hear the smirk, “could’ve put on a nice show?” “shut up.” he laughed, and you folded his clothes in a neat pile before turning around. and you screamed, “wear your pants, san!” covering your eyes immediately while hearing him laugh. “okay, okay,” he said through his laugh and you turned around. “okay, now you’re gonna help me.” you pointed to your chest, and he gave you a skeptical look. he rose his eyebrows and widened his eyes, “are we finally having sex?” you rolled your eyes at his remark. “fortunately, no.” you smiled, much to his demise. “you’ll help me sneak in the groom’s side and count the number of guests hanbin’s got.” “and why would i do that?” he asked, squinting his eyes, only making them more smaller than his cat-like eyes. “because we’re from the bride side, and because i’m telling you to do so,” you said, nodding your head while looking at him. “and what would i get in return?” “nothing, now let’s go.” you dragged him by his shirt towards the roof of the mansions, passing by the stunning decorations being hung around and final preparations. “they really didn’t leave a dime on this wedding? it’s like a rainbow explosion all over, see that colour? looks like shit.” you stopped, looking over the balcony while san talked about the colours being really familiar to dog poop. you squinted your eyes to make out some sort of human civilization down the balcony, the groom’s side of the house. “san.” you called, bending lower to see. “san,” “san!” “yes, baby?” you gave him a look, before motioning him to come near you with your hand. “jump down this balcony,” you said. he narrowed his eyes at you, placing his hands on his hips before leaning down to your height, “i don’t run a circus back in america.” you scoffed, “what’re you, scared?” he paused, handing you his bag and taking his glasses off quietly. “don’t hurt my ego.” you hid back a smile and watched him climb down the balcony and hearing an incoherent blessing to the god. you leaned over the wall and looked straight into san’s eyes, “ssh, now slowly go look down the room there, and tell me what’s going on.” “since when did you get so vulgar?” he teased and you rolled your eyes. he jumped down another level before laying on his stomach, trying to see whoever was in that room. “oh, it’s hanbin.” he said, watching the man do something with dumbbells with a sixty-nine numbered jersey on. “what are they doing?” you whispered, loud enough that you hope san’s thick head could process. “i don’t know he seems to be lifting shit,” san whipped his head back and looked at you.

“but what am i doing in this?” he asked, a little too loudly and you shushed him. “ssh, you’re checking what type of dance they’re doing!” you crossed your eyebrows at his stupidly. “whose?” “hanbin’s family, you idiot!” you whispered yelled, and his mouth turned into ‘o’ shape. “ohhh,” he leaned back on the white pavement. “you should always know the weakness of the rival team!”

san looked at you as if you were absolutely out of your mind, “ay, you dollar store tom cruise, this is a lame competition not dancing with the fucking stars!” “and by the way, i don’t cheat,” he says, getting up to climb back on the ground you were standing on. “oi dumbass, if you never cheated, you would’ve still been in grade six.” you pointed out, giving him a look while motioning your hand to hanbin’s room. he looked at you, “point.” and went back to his position over the balcony, leaning half of his upper his body off the ground and peering into the room. “oh my god,” you panicked, “what? is he actually good?” you questioned, looking at the back of san’s head. “wait a minute, y/n there’s a chick down there too.” “what?” “oh, she’s probably the london cousin of hanbin, heard she’s a dangerous dancer! did you see anything else?” you asked, remembering how seulgi said she was a dangerous dancer. just as san lowered his body slightly he almost lost his balance at what he saw, he laughed unbelievably, “oh-holy fuck, chanmi.. “ he whispered and you looked at his confusion. “san,” you whispered, but his head was too mesmerized by whatever you think was going down there. “san! what’s going on in there?” “no, she’s hot.”  

“oh, that’s my show.” san protruded behind seulgi, who seemed to be fussing over he wedding outfits given the amount of jewelry she was holding. “oh really?” she asked, diverting her attention to the tv where a news anchor stood in a beige dress. “yeah,” he said, smiling as he reached to grab a random cloth of the couch and wiped his hand with it. seulgi yanked the cloth away from his hold with a gasp, “that’s my scarf!” “by the way, what type of place is venice?” she asked, coming to stand next to san who seemed to be star stuck by the tv show. “eh, it’s fine. why?” he asked, giving seulgi a glance and noticing the amount of curling rollers in her hair, making her look like some judge from the eighties victorian era. “aw, that’s my honeymoon place.” she pouted and san chucked, shaking his head. “seulgi my dear, i still suggest eloping away, you still have two days.” a well-dressed, for the party, wooyoung walks in, a drink in his hand as he propped on the couch, while seulgi rolled her eyes and walked to the bathroom. san’s eyes watched wooyoung with a small smile before looking back at his show but immediately frowning. “woo, why’d you change the show? my channel was on!” “sorry, i didn’t know,” wooyoung responded, sipping lightly on his drink as he switched the channel to a sitcom. a silent groan left san’s mouth, one hand on his hip while the other held his drink. “woo, change the channel.” “it’s your show, how many times will you watch it?” he retorted. “i want to show it to you though.” san argued, eyes stuck on wooyoung’s head. wooyoung clicked his tongue, “i don’t wanna watch it.” eyes on the tv as he sipped the beer. san placed his glass on the table with a loud thump, eyebrows crossed as he walks from behind the couch to the front of the tv, pressing on the side button to turn it off and face wooyoung who rose his eyebrows at him in annoyance. “what’s your problem, bro?” “what’s your problem, woo.” “you know what my problem is.” getting on his feet wooyoung walked away from san to the back corner that had a bar. “yeah, but i wanna hear it from you.” san watched his best friend throw in two cubes of ice in his glass, and then lift his head at him. “cut the bullshit, san.” he says, “in eight years, this is the first time you’ve came and meet us, you hardly called us? ten times? no, not even twenty? and you’re asking what my problem is?” wooyoung scoffed, but he had all the right to be mad. “woo, you didn’t call me everyday too!” “i did, i did loads! but it was meaningless, i wasted my fucking time trying to call you, you forgot us san.” “dude, no, you need to understand that i was in a dilemma there! i didn’t get everything handed to me right away, i fucking worked my ass off!” san yelled. “i was alone, different from everyone and had to survive!” he continued, “new places everyday, dude i wanted to make my life, my career, so that i could succeed!” “your career, your life, your ways, your excuses, everything your way! what the fuck do you even know about me? my dreams, my conditions!” wooyoung growled, and san lifted his hand to take it through his hair. “woo, take a breather. look at seulgi, we didn’t talk almost everyday! but at least she isn’t jealous of me!” a dry laugh escaped wooyoung’s lips, “that’s because seulgi has no expectations from you san, she didn’t even think you’d come to her wedding at all! and why wouldn’t she think that? you didn’t even come to your own dad’s funeral!” san’s body froze, his glossy eyes, lips parted as he breathed heavily while staring at wooyoung’s wide eyes. “you’re right,” san paused, “seulgi’s right, no one should keep expectations from me, you’re right.” he spat, walking past woo, but only to be stopped by him. “how? selfish? scumbag? what? you saw the world and you suddenly think you’re all that? you’re brain’s rotting san!” wooyoung’s hand lifted in the air, moving in directions to get his point across. “at least i’m not fucking like you! spending all your money on betting and taking loans! fucking bastard.” san retorted, voice louder than before echoing in the empty room. the two stared at each other and right then wooyoung rose his hand and slapped san across his face, san looked at him with wide eyes, reaching for his cheek before lunging onto wooyoung and pulling him into a deathlock. the two moving across the room, hands on each other as one another punched the living daylights of each other. low yells and groans leaving the two as they smacked each other, and then wooyoung suddenly pushed san away. sending san to the floor, wooyoung reached out for a empty bottle of wine and threw it where san fell. “are you crazy woo?! are you trying to fucking kill me!” “is your brain not working? h-here!” he reached out for a cushion next to him, “hit me with this!” he offered the pillow, and before wooyoung could get a hold of it, san took the chance and wacked wooyoung’s head with it. “hey, you idiot-no! you cheater!” the two of them wrestled for the pillow in between, “if you’re a man then hand to hand fight me, you bastard!” and then out of nowhere, san gripped onto the pillow a bit tighter, resulting in the feathery stuff inside the pillow to fly out as the fabric ripped open and the two of them fell down on the wooden floor. san on his back while holding his shoulder, wooyoung on his stomach right beside him while groaning. their faces scrunched in pain and wooyoung unconsciously looked up and froze, san who noticed, looked at where his eyes were hooked and froze. right in front of them was seulgi, dressed in her stunning party dress, adorned in jewelry and hair pulled in stunning beach waves. her solemn expression as she looked at the two who stood up. “damn, you look good.” wooyoung opened his mouth, rubbing his forearm as san wafted away from the feathers. “this is my wedding guys…and both my best friends are fighting like stray dogs.” her eyes looked between the two of them. “stop this fucking drama,” she pointed her index finger at the two, “and say sorry to each other, right now,” she demanded, arms crossing in front of her chest. and as if her glares worked, wooyoung barked out a, “sorry.” “it’s okay.” san said, eyes everywhere but seulgi’s. “this fucker isn’t saying sorry,” wooyoung whined, looking at seulgi, who rose her eyebrow and looked at san. tilting her head in disbelief, “san.” she said, eyes stern. “..sorry.” “dumb and dumber, now hug each other.” seulgi said, waggling her finger back and forth. both the boys looked at her in disbelief, mouth gaping as they looked at her while squinting their eyes. “hurry up!” the two looked at each other, sighing wooyoung draped an arm around san’s neck and pulled him closer, san’s arms immediately wrapping around woo’s shoulders as the two patted each other’s backs, a small smile on san’s face. seulgi watched with a soft smile and a few tears in her eyes, “i’m joining!” she yelled before attacking the two in a hug. “i missed this, i missed us.” she whispered as the guys pulled her closer.

after the antiseptic medicine being dabbed onto san’s busted lip by seulgi, he’s happy that she didn’t become a doctor. “stop getting into fights, this is my wedding, i don’t want my best boys looking like they turned in from the walking dead,” she said, picking up a beige bandage, peeling the sticker off and placing it on the corner of san’s pouty lips. with a slight playful slap on his face, “now get out.” she shooed him away. “sheesh, wasn’t i your best boy like a second ago?” he says, timidly teaching out for his cheek, “and you hurt me?” the last words coming out as a dramatic breathy whisper. seulgi gave him a look, before laughing and placing her hands on his shoulder, turning him so that his back faced him and pushing him out the door. it’s when he turns around he sees wooyoung standing in front of him, ready to hear a yell san backs up.

“las vegas,”

“what?” san asks, confused. 

“casino episode where your crewmate lost her 20$ bill.” 

its there when san realizes what wooyoung says, “that’s my show...you watched it?” 

“40 episodes was it?” san nods, “i watched all of them.” a smile cracks on both their faces.

“sorry,” san sighs, “for what happened with your bar.”

wooyoung shrugs, “nothing i can do,”

“i have some savings, take them and save your bar.” 

“i don’t need your money san,” wooyoung stresses. “got it?”

“then what can i do for you woo?”

 wooyoung smiles, “be a friend again.”

8:56 pm. “hey hey, y/n have a drink you grandma.” you pushed pass san towards the group of bridesmaids, but before you could get any further he pulled you back with his hand gripped on your wrist. “i don’t drink, san.” “how many time’s will you lie to the person who you drank with?” he rose his eyebrow, grabbing a shot glass from a wandering waiter and filling it up with alcohol, handing you the glass with a grin and you shook your head before taking it from his grasp. “sannie!” both of you craned your head to look up the stairs, a very brightly dressed change jumping down the stairs, opening her arms as she curled them around san’s neck and gave him a hug. you scrunched your face in disgust, watching san smile sheepishly and returning the hug. once she pulled away, she looked at you and the glass of shot in your hand. “oh! just what i need.” she reached out to take the glass from your hand and sipping it in one go while you watched her with an open mouth. “good luck!” she tapped your shoulder, strutting last you down to the dance floor. “damn, she’s still hot as hell.” san mumbled and you gave him a look of disbelief, thrusting the shot glass in his hands harshly before walking away from him to look over the foyer directly where the competition was happening. san who shrugged walked down the hallway opposite of the venue, looking at the bottle of alcohol lovingly in front of his eyes but pausing when a special someone stood near the corner, smirking san walked towards the man. “hey, hanbin,” he said making the man look at him with a smile. “hey, san, thank you so much for coming to our wedding, for me- for seulgi! we real-“ “woah woah, what’s going on with you?” san leaned his body on the cement wall, gripping onto the bottle while looking at hanbin’s panicked face. “i-i’m supposed to go dance, but i’m not very good at it, i don’t know if seulgi would like it and what not.” “bro, calm down, you don’t have a fever or something, just go on and enjoy yourself.” with a click of his tongue he leaned off the wall and poured the alcohol drink in the glass, offering it to hanbin who looked at san with wide eyes. “here have some.” “m-me?” he asked and san nodded eagerly, jutting the glass forward waiting for hanbin to grasp it, and he did. looking at san and chugging down the drink while he watched with amusement in his eyes, hanbin breathed heavily, looking at the glass and then at the bottle in san’s hand, grabbing that and chugging that down too. “oh, oh, oh, slowdown!” hurriedly reaching out to stop hanbin from getting alcohol poisoning from drinking the entire bottle of it. “thanks san, i needed that.” with a satisfying nod he patted san’s shoulder, a little too excitedly before rushing downstairs, leaving a very astonished san behind. a smirk playing on san’s lips as he turned around and walked down the hallway, stumbling all while pretending to be drunk out of his mind.

probably not a smart decision because he ran into your mom halfway and sped off as if she ran behind him with a rolling pin, which she didn’t, of course, instead she used a flower pot. you watched chanmi and hanbin do their antics on the stage while crossing your arms over your chest, groaning at the fact that you didn’t think the duo would be that good of a dancer, and with the look on everyone’s face, you’re sure no one expected them to be this good. the crowd didn’t fail to hype them up and you couldn’t help but feel down, your lips curling into a pout while your eyebrows furrowed. “what’s with the long face?” you sighed, dropping your arms to your sides before taking your pointer finger and pouting at the duo dancing on the stage as confetti wrapped around them gloriously. “them, i didn’t expect them to be so good at dancing…considering what you said.” his eyes looked at your side profile, calculating what you just said in his mind before opening his mouth, “so, in the end the blame is on me?” “yeah,” “gee, thanks.” san held his chest in fake pain, leaning on the wall behind you while peeking over your shoulder to watch the performance. “stop dancing to them!” you gritted, you knew san had an attention span of a goldfish, and you’re so sure that he was swaying his body to the beat whilst mouthing the lyrics as if he was an opera singer behind you. “chill out y/n, take a chill pill!” “how can i take a chill pill when i’m about to lose a goddamn competition?” you let out a huff, making the hairs on your forehead hover around a bit. “who’s going to watch my performance now!” “forget about your damn performance, and just watch me make you win this.” you squinted your eyes at san, his words did sound enticing.

perhaps you could win this if he actually knew how to dance and make sure that the bride side had the upper hand in the future events. “how are you so sure? for what i know, you probably can’t even dance.” you eyed him head to toe, “forget about it.” before looking back at the stage. but then you think again, what if he actually knows how to dance? you could use that to your advantage, but the man looked like he didn’t know a single alphabet about dancing or even how to follow a certain beat. “hey, san, what did you mean when you said about winning this-“ you turned your head to look a san but instead being welcomed with nothing, your eyes widened and you whipped your head back to the dance floor. and almost immediately the lights go off, leaving you and the rest down on the floor in pitch black darkness and a loud commotion. you could already hear the older grumpy ladies worry about their magenta eyeshadow not showing or how their swarovski crystal bedazzled necklace wasn’t on display. “everyone don’t worry, it’s just the next person performing. y/n’s performance is starting now!” your eyes widened, and you whipped your head down to where you heard the voice call for your name. “what! no, i’m over here! there’s no one performing!” you made sure your voice could be heard from where you stood, pulling up your loose dress strap you slowly started walking towards the stairs, trying so hard no to fall in your sky-high heels. and just as you were about to step down the stair, the sudden noise of the projector light being turned on made you jump and look down to were it was pointing. “what the fuck..no way,” your jaw hung open so slow that it definitely hit the carpeted ground, in no way possible was san standing underneath the bright spotlight. one hand in his grey dress pant pocket, while the other holding his grey coat with one finger over his shoulder. your eyes looked at him up and down, swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat. “there’s no way in hell he can dance,” you mumbled, running a hand through your hair down your face, which definitely smudged your eye makeup, knowing he would embarrass himself. the man looked stunning, even in the simplest of outfits you couldn’t help but gawk at him. the way the light was positioned on him, it made it seem as if it was made for him. the view looked stunning from where you stood, the already glittery confetti lingering in the air and making san glimmer as if he bathed in gold. the hand that was in his pocket slowly lifted up into the ceiling, with a snap of his fingers the lights came back and brightened the ballroom all over again. you leaned your arms over the decorated staircase railings, clasping your hands together while having your eyes stuck at his frame. it was as if he was a magnet, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. the music suddenly blared from the big speakers, filling the auditorium immediately making the guests roar and scream in excitement. san moves his way through the pack of ladies, lip syncing to song that made everyone jump on their toes while yelling the lyrics out loud. booping a very shocked hanbin’s nose as he passed by while twirling around seulgi who threw her head back laughing in excitement, her sequinned dress moving along her moves. you giggled softly, bopping your head to the beat while watching san move his way along everyone and as if it was the domino effect, they all started following his lead. raising hands in the air when he raised, or twirling when he did. the rest of the boys joining from every corner of the room, following san’s lead as they copied his moves. mingi, who joined a little later seemed to bring out the huge party poppers, giving one to yunho as he held it with both his hands and shaked his body. you clapped and laughed at everyone’s shocked reactions, the disco ball shining to every corner of the room. neon lights stabbing through the coloured dance floor, the glittery and square multicoloured confetti flying in the air. the party had transformed into a club, everyone’s hand raised to the ceilings as they jumped up and down, hair strands falling over their foreheads as shiny sweat coated their skin. the never ending smiles on everyone’s faces brought a different feeling in you, you wanted this moment to just stop. pause, freeze, whatever. giggling at hongjoong who seemed to be stuck in between the two twin towers who were forcing down a drink in hongjoong’s mouth. getting a cringe reaction from him, while seonghwa seemed to wear a tropical shirt with coloured glasses, his shot glass raised to the feeling and you’re sure you saw it drip over hanbin’s mother. you gasped when yeosang head bumped into a large plant pot, holding his head as he balanced himself and as if he saw you staring he shot you a glare which only made you laugh. your eyes scanned the entire room, “he really made sure we won,” glancing in the middle to where the life of the party was, trying to find the familiar head of dark hair bouncing along the music. smiling when you spotted him, tilting your head while staring at his face. the familiar rhythm pulsing from inside your chest, the warm comforting feeling pooling in your gut as you watched the scene through your eyes. san jumped up and down, yelling lyrics to a song everyone knew about. shaking his head left and right as sweat droplets flew off his hair, a constant smile on his face, the feeling of happiness finally breaking in on him. he slowed down, still moving his body to the music, but something was missing. he turned his head to see seulgi being carried bride-style by hanbin who was yelling while seulgi threw her head back laughing. the corner of his lips tugged in a smile, but something seemed to catch his attention. looking past the moving bodies, eyeing the bar area and then shifting to the back. san paused, running a hand through his hair, glancing at wooyoung who leaned on the large pillar with a drink in his hand. “woooyounnng!” san yelled in excitement as he ran towards the man who seemed to not pay attention to anything but the stunning sunset outside. pausing as he approached slowly him with a soft smile, “woo-yah,” he said, catching wooyoung’s attention. he hurriedly leaned off the pillar, shaking his head trying to come back to his senses before looking at san. “w-what, what’re you smiling at?” he stuttered out, looking everywhere but san. without a word or warning, san wrapped his arms around wooyoung. biting his lip as tears welled up in his eyes, wiping them immediately by the back of his hand and pulling back, hands still on wooyoung’s shoulders. “come,” he nodded his head to the dance floor, wooyoung’s eyes glimmered under the lights, shiny, he looked at san, his best friend, his brother. throwing the glass to the ground, ignoring the glass breaking before grabbing san’s hand and running to where everyone was. jackets flying as they cut through the wind and the people to where everyone was. it was impossible not to tear up, seeing san run towards wooyoung, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. it brought back the nostalgic memories, cradling your face with one of your hands while the other wiped the stray droplet of a tear falling down your golden blushed cheeks. everything was perfect, they were all back. you found yourself letting out more tears as you watched them, this was your happiness. flinching when mingi popped the large party popper, you snapped back from your thoughts and made an almost immediate eye contact with san who seems to be looking at you with both his hands in his pockets. while the people moved around him, he was the only one standing still while staring at you with a smirk. jutting his lip out with a proud grin, tilting his head towards the crowd, emphasizing how he made you won. it was almost as if everything around you was moving in slow motion, you and him being the only ones at the normal pace. you saw his lips move and you couldn’t make out the exact words because of the loud music filling in your ears. you shook your head in confusion and he chuckled, walking through the crowd while maintaining and eye contact with his intense but playful eyes. when you noticed that he was stepping up the stairs, you immediately stood up straight, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear as he approached you with a smile. “i made you win,” he says, raising an eyebrow in amusement. you smiled, lifting your head up to look at him, “you did,” you bit on your lower lip, “thank you.” he chuckled, pulling out his hand from his pocket and extending it out for you to hold. you looked at his hands and then up at him with a confused expression, eyebrows furrowed. “let’s go,” he let out. “the party’s missing you.” you scoffed in disbelief but quickly replaced it with a smile, taking his hand. “then we shouldn’t keep it waiting.” with a smirk he pulled you down the stairs to the middle. the minute you joined everyone, seulgi had dragged you to dance with her. dancing to michael jackson and doing his iconic pose which a half tipsy hongjoong recreated, you jumped on your feet, your hair flying with the wind as you moved your limbs to a dance routine seulgi was brewing. she spun your around, using a little too much force that send you falling back, coincidentally right on san’s chest. your hands on his chest while his hands were instinctively wrapped around your waist, holding you up. “hi.” he chuckled, “hey.” it was almost as if you were in a movie set, the fading music in the background, the crowd around you moving in slow motion while you stared into san’s eyes, confetti falling from the ceiling. his lips moved as if he was speaking and stepping towards you but you weren’t paying any attention to whatever he was saying but instead feeling your heartbeat ring in your ears. blood shooting up to your cheeks and you’re so sure he’s able to catch on the blush pink tint clouding over cheeks. you let out a squeal when he got a grip on your waist and pulled you to him, pressing his forehead over yours while showing his toothy grin.

taking the initiative you wrapped your arms around his neck, he leaned forward and whispered one thing that you could barely hear but the feeling of his breathe fanning over your neck tickled and you fell into fits of laughter. all while he watched with a smile and a racing heart.

the celebration ended a little too soon for everyone’s liking, but being forced out because half of the people had gotten so drunk that it was needed that they get rest for the actual event tomorrow. you had taken a quick shower and dressed in a simple white shirt and light washed jeans while having your hair down, applying a lip balm to soften your lips, and running a hand through your hair you left your room for a walk. giggling softly at the drunk silence in the surroundings, guests toppled over each other, legs and arms in weird positions that brought them comfort. your slides made loud noise in the quiet environment and you walked passed the people quietly to sit near a bench near the waters you spotted the other day. plopping on the cement wall with a sigh, you looked out at the horizon. the sun had set already but there was still a bit of pinkish hue in the dark sky, cool breeze wavering around that played with your hair strands. san woke from his deadly nap to being surrounded by his friends legs all over him and the others, shaking his head in disbelief he slowly got up, not wanting to interrupt their precious sleep. grabbing his phone and turning it on to get a sense of time before walking out the room. once he made it outside he let out a sigh of relief, inhaling the fresh air around him with a smile on his face when he felt the cool breeze wrap over him. glancing around the hallway before landing his eyes on your room door, putting on a lazy smirk he walked to your door and knocked one, two, three times before saying, “i’m coming in y/n!” once he stepped in, his eyes scanned the room for your face but furrowed his eyebrows when you were nowhere to be seen. putting a pout on his lips he walked out, thinking about where you could possibly be. he walked around the hallway looking for you, two drinks in his hands, one for you and one for him to enjoy by yourselves together. grinning in excitement he galloped his way out the mansion towards the outer area in search for you. whipping his head back and forth trying to spot your body, and when he did, his eyes lightened up and he immediately walked towards where you sat, smiling at your back as your fingers played with the water, moving them back and forth watching the droplets drip from your fingers. “y/n?” you turned your head up at the call for your name, pulling your fingers back from the water and flicker them so that no sign of water was on them. your eyes widened in excitement at the person walking to you. “hey! jongin, how’s it going?” you shifted your body towards him with a smile. he flashed his infamous smile, “nothing much, just wondering how you’ve made me chase you the entire night,” he says and you giggled at his cheesiness. “care for a drink?” and that’s when you noticed the two bottles of beer he was holding out to you. you smiled, definitely needing a little bit of cooling down from the last episode. “yeah, i would love too,” you reached out to grab the glass bottle from his hold and he smiled ready to sit next to you but halted when he looked behind you. “hey man, do you need anything?” you looked at jongin in confusion, looking back to who he was talking too. the smile on your face dropping as you looked at san’s solemn expression. san’s eyes looked at you before looking at the man who held the drinks, “who’s he?” he asked. “that’s jongin,” you smiled. “he’s here to shoot the videos for the wedding.” “and to meet y/n,” jongin cut in with a smile, you turned to look at him with a slight raise in eyebrow but hiding it with a small smile. san eyed jongin up and down, flickering his eyes over to you. “why’re you sitting here?” you gave san a look but jongin beat you to it. “uh, who are you?” he asked politely, san rose his eyebrow with an irritated expression molding his face. “you,” he pointed at jongin, “leave.” you frowned at the tone san was using, “san.” you let out, your voices on a lower octave. “excuse me?” jongin said, confused as to what was happening. “i said,” san stoped forward, trying to eye the other dark haired man down. “you, please, leave.” this time using his hands to convey his message and you irked up at the darker tone of his voice. “san, stop it.” you warned, and he met his eyes with yours with parted lips before looking back at jongin. “damn dude, you’re really rude.” the dark haired man scoffed, making san step forward to match his height, asserting dominance by the way he stood. “look,” he stared straight into jongin’s eyes, taking a step forward. “this here, is my best friend wedding, you’re of no use here.” he poked jongin’s stomach with the cold bottle he was holding. “i think you’ve drank too much,” he laughed, taking a seat next to you. “plus, y/b called me here.” “i’m y/n’s boyfriend.” you snapped your head at san, eyes widening in shock at the words spilling out his mouth. “go.” san motioned with a tilt in his head, jongin’s eyes narrowed down at san, this time he walked closer to san and closed the distance between the two. “guys, stop it.” you immediately ran to stop them, pulling jongin and san back from their murderous stares. “stop it, c’mon!” you gave san a look in disbelief while his eyes were stuck at jongin’s with a clenched jaw. you knew if jongin stared here longer, san and him would definitely start a fight and you’re not letting that happen at seulgi’s wedding. you craned your head to look at taller man, “jongin, give me five minutes, i’ll join you in a few.” you stared at him, hoping that he would listen to you before things got out of control and you wouldn’t be able to stop them completely. jongin glared at san before turning on his heels, meeting your eyes with a tight smile. “sure, i’ll be here.” you gave him a small smile as he walked away and you turned on your heels to look at san while having your arms crossed over your chest with a tick of your right eyebrow. “you. are not. my boyfriend.” you said, eyeing san’s head that snapped up, eyes looking everywhere else but yours. “then is he?” you scoffed at him, “what’s wrong with you san? go and say sorry to him.” you pointed behind you with a stern look on your face. “how ‘bout i break that fucker’s face?” he offered almost immediately, staring you with a look in his eyes that you can’t exactly comprehend. you grit your teeth and looked at him as if he was nuts. “you’ve gone crazy, san.” you said before brushing past him. “every day and night i’m gon’ chase you, huh?” he suddenly spoke and you turned your body towards him, furrowing your eyebrows to why he was bringing that up. “what?” you asked, confusion clouding over you. “that cheap text, that was from him wasn’t it?” he walked towards you, “not that dumbass seonghwa?” “yeah, san. jongin sent all those texts to me.” you responded with a mocking smile and san paused in his position. leaving a few minutes of silence before breaking it, “you’re in love with him?” he asked and you stared at him for a few seconds, wondering what was wrong with him before turning on your heels and walking ahead. he followed right behind you, “you’re in love with that sucker!” he yelled and you looked back in utter shock. “why does it matter to you?” you yelled back, knowing that no one would be awake at this hour anyway. “it does matter!” he argued, “i thought that you only drank beer with me-“ he paused at the look in your eyes. your eyes shinning with water under the gazebo lights, the wind picking up it’s pace as your hair strands flew. “san, what’re you trying to say?” “what i’m trying to say is that, make that jongin dude leave this place.” he says with the same shine in his eyes. “why?” “because i want you to spend all your time with me.” he responded, looking straight in your eyes as his face morphed into multiple emotions. you looked at him before running a hand thought your hair, releasing a heavy sigh before taking a step towards him. “san, i was siting there with jongin because i can’t spend anymore time with you!” you said, “he’s my friend.” hearing your own voice crack. san’s eyes blinked in confusion, “so…he isn’t your boyfriend?” you rubbed your tired face, “no, san, no!” you said, feeling your waterline prick with tears. “stop this drama, why don’t you understand that if i stayed with you for two more minutes then-“ “then what, y/n,” he asked, looking at you with the most vulnerable look you’ve seen on him. you bit your lower lip, “i’ll fall in love with you,” you paused. “again.” you continued, “but you won’t..”

“..again.” your voice getting lower with each syllable while you looked at him with visible tears in your eyes, the same fluttering feeling starting to pool in your stomach as your heart thumped against your rib cage. you stared at him, wanting some sort of a reaction out of what you’ve just let out. the emotions you’ve poured that you had bottled up in your heart for the past eight years. san’s eyes softened at your expression, his body moving closer to your and instinctively you took a step back at the proximity between you two. his face coming in closer to yours and your heart doubled it’s pace, lifting his right hand up so he cupped your cheek, forcing you to look at him. you could hear the thoughts running around in his head, those same ones you had been arguing yourself with for years, the way his eyes looked at you with emotions you thought you’d never ever see in him. the pad of his thumb swiped your lower lip, and you flickered your eyes to look at his darker ones. his eyes stared at your lips before giving you the chance to look at you he closed the distance between you. the time stopped when his lips met your softer ones and you immediately melted under his touch, the fluttering of your heart intensified. it felt as if fireworks were being ignited all over your body. your heart throbbing against your chest, making your knees go weak and if it wasn’t for his hands around your waist you would have easily slipped out, you closed your eyes on instinct while a stray tear rolled down your cheek. when you pulled back, the both of you stayed still for a few seconds before you stepped back. sparing him one last glance before you turned away from him leaving him standing there, alone.

“you look stunning, seulgi.” you smiled at her reflection in the mirror to which she responded by holding your hand and giving you a smile.

it was no lie, she looked absolutely stunning in the ivory form-fitted gown she wore. her hair twirled into intricate curls while white and pale blue flowers adorned her hair, her nails coloured in a nude, accentuating the stone resting on her ring finger. “i’ll see you at the aisle, good luck.” you gave her one last smile and walked out with a churning stomach. stopping right out the door with your hand still on the doorknob, you brought up your fingers to your lips. caressing them softly while remembering the scene from last night, before balling them into a fist and walking away to where the actual event was being held at. walking in your baby blue silk slip-on dress with white heels towards where the other bridesmaid were, you put on a smile once you reached them, busying yourself away from your thoughts. you glanced at hanbin who was standing next to the priest, a nervous expression on his face while he bounced on his feet. you smiled at him, before looking around the room. opposite of the bridesmaids stood the groomsmen, clad in a black tux while their tie matched the colour of your dress. a bundle of flowers pinned at their pockets, the same ones from seulgi’s hair. the wedding area was beautifully decorated, seeing that seulgi and hanbin wanted to get married under the twilight. there were fairy lights hung from post to post, the colours matching so well that it nearly looked dreamy. while looking around the room you made eye contact with wooyoung, who shot you a smile that you returned. but you wanted to see someone else, and before you could get the chance to spare a glance fully around the room, the bridesmaids were called to be ready to walk in whilst the wedding planners handed the flower bouquets. you inhaled shakily, standing in front of the line while having hanbin’s best man by your side, arms linked with yours. you shot him a smile and he returned one, you turned to look around the room once again and this time seeing who you were looking for, staring at him while he did the same. “please start walking in.” the best man beside you took the initiative and started walking while your eyes were stuck at san’s glossy ones. eyeing his body from head to toe and felt as if your heart was burning with fire. once parting with the best man, you stood where you were supposed to. coincidentally next to san who stood with a camera in his hand, your eyes however looked at the entrance from where the rest were coming in  and you knew he was looking at you. you, san and wooyoung watched seulgi walk down the aisle with her dad, looking absolutely ethereal. making the three of you emotional with a sudden gush of memories playing in your minds. the memories back from when the first time you met her, “are you sure you aren’t following me?” seulgi asked, leaning back on the bench in this small train compartment, fumbling inside her bag to grab out some snacks. or when wooyoung was about to get beaten up by the goons from your trip in jeju. “let them come, i’ll show them who i am!” seulgi stepped forward, ready to attack anyone who comes at her. “shut up, seulgi! now’s definitely not the time for your bravery!” wooyoung pulled her away and ran towards the other direction. you smiled sadly and happily at the memories being remembered by your brain, knowing that they won’t ever come back. the smile on her face widened when she took hanbin’s hand, being announced as husband and wife with a kiss to start their new life together, you clapped while tears filled your eyes. you couldn’t be more happy for her, while watching her get married to love of her life. the one who loved her back with all the same emotions. you wiped the corner of your eye and smiled at the couple getting their pictures done, when it was time for the two of them to walk down the aisle together you all moved to stand at the either side of the way. bright smile on our faces as we watched the two of them walk with their hands in the air, laughing as they celebrated their new life together. when the two of them walked out, guests slowly started to leave but the three of you stood their as if glued to the spot. staying where we were till the very end, you lifted your head up to meet wooyoung’s who came to stand by you and san, hands behind his back as he looked at the exit. “how could i forget you guys,” all three of your heads turned to the right, watching seulgi run with her dressed balled up in her hands towards you three. she paused and extended her hands, nodding her head at us, “c’mere you assholes,”   “we’ll miss you,” you mumbled against the hug to which wooyoung responded with a him. “have fun in venice,” you three pulled back waving her of with heavy hearts and bittersweet memories. you watched her figure leave the room and it only took a few beats of silence before wooyoung spoke up, “i-i’m glad i came here, y’know seeing you guys here, it was fun.” this moment came again, where everyone parts. “thanks, y/n.” you smiled although your eyes showed tears, pulling him into a hug that he returned happily. he looked at san and shook his head, “and you idiot, keep in touch with us, lord knows where you’ll be off to next.” choking a laugh out he hugged him tight, as if he’d loose the bond again. giving one last glance and a hesitant wave, he exited the area, leaving you and san in stillness. your eyes were stuck on the ashy red gravel beneath you, your fingers fiddling with the fabric of dress. a sudden chill running over your body shook you from your empty thoughts, turning on your heels you faced san. without a word you wrapped your arms around his body, placing your chin on his wide shoulders and closed your eyes. patting his back while low sniffles flee your lips, and you pulled back. not even looking at the man’s face and turning your back away from his, feeling your heart wrench in pain as you kept walking away, wiping your tears with the back of your hand and wandering back to your room. the lights around the area started to shut down one by one, wedding planners immediately coming to take down the decorations while san stood in the middle of everything, watching you leave him. this was it, everything was over. the weddings done but this time seulgi’s gone, wooyoung’s gone and now you’re too. and now it was paris.

you irritatedly tied your hair up, plopping in your lights pink couch with your dog waddling his way up the couch to take a seat next to you. grabbing the plastic covered tv remote you turned on the latest show to watch, while having your worksheets and red markers waiting for you to mark them. it had been a little over four days since seulgi’s wedding, the last time you heard from her was when she boarded the plane while yelling in your ear about how excited she was. wooyoung kept posting pictures on his social media account, occasionally posting a throwback picture from the wedding where the three of you are huddled over seulgi who seemed to be ferried by our weird faces while hanbin sat beside seulgi with a grin, not knowing what was happening behind him. as for san, you didn’t know where he was, you haven’t seen or heard from him after the wedding ended. even after confessing your feelings for him, he responded with nothing. but then again, he must’ve been busy with his travelling shows again that interviews every corner of the world. you sighed, petting your dog behind his ears and he purred, as if he was a cat. you were in your most comfortable spot ever, the perfect amount of warmth being delivered by your fuzzy blanket that laid on your lap with tests written by the students in your class. so hearing the doorbell made you morph your face into irritation, hating that you had to physically get up and open the door for yourself. a low groan escaped your lips as you pushed yourself off the couch and made wha towards your house door. cursing at the fact that you lived alone now and your mother couldn’t go and open the door for you, sighing you unlocked the doorknob and twisted it open. “hi.” you widened your eyes at scene in front of you, choi san clad in a dark blue tux, one hand holding a manila coloured box and the other holding three polka dotted but different coloured balloons. your mouth parted a little in shock and he smirked at your reaction, “hold this,” he demanded, thrusting the balloons in your hand forcefully and planting a long kiss on your lips, taking you by complete surprise. you stood frozen at the sudden act of intimacy and san took the time to brush past you (not before taking his shoes off messily), walking towards the table and placing down the box. “what’re you doing, here?” you asked, closing the door and turning around to walk towards him who opened a the box that contained a black forest cake. “i’m here to celebrate the new year’s with you,” he turned back and replied, placing another soft kiss over your lips for a few seconds, you smiled softly while watching him walk to your kitchen with a wine bottle. “paris?” your soft voice echoed, and san smiled. “canceled.” you furrows your eyebrows, “why?” he reached over for the corkscrew, “i didn’t wanna take the risk,” you tilted your head in confusion. “what if someone else tried to woo you over, then?” a smile broke out on your lips, watching his back while having your arms over your dinning table chair. “seriously, you’re not going?” you asked with a do doubtful tone to your voice, because choi san was unpredictable. “i told them no,” he turned around with a smile, “because i had to say yes to you.” and popped open the wine bottle. you stared at him for a few seconds in the eyes before he spoke again, “the lightings a bit romantic ain’t it?” he quirked, reaching his hand back to your light switch before fiddling with them and looking around for the effects. while doing so, his eyes landed on your teary eyed ones and he paused with his lip stuck between his teeth. you sat down on your dinning table seat slowly, “shit, are you of afraid of the dark? i can turn the lights on-“ he asked, watching the tears roll down your cheeks. “i-“ “i what, y/n?” he said with a smile, reaching out to take the small cake out of its box. “i love you,” he smiled, “here, take a bite.” he offered you a spoon full of cake, which you gladly took while sniffling and wiping away your tears. “this, this job was your biggest dream right?” you asked, chewing on the cake while having your eyes on your lap. he nodded, “was.” and winked. and continued only after a second later, “but everything has its right moment right?” you nodded, “and today,” he reached out in his tux pocket and taking out a small blue velvet box. “it’s this moment,” he held the small box in between you two, you felt your heart hammer against your chest as you watched him with wide eyes. he offered your the box and you hesitantly reached to grasp it, placing it in your hands and opening it revealed a mars bars, you looked at him in disbelief and chucked it in his face and stood up to walk away. “y/n.” but he held your wrist and you looked back but was surprised when he slid a stunning ivory diamond ring up your ring finger. “will you marry me?” “have you lost your mind?” you said softly, lifting your fingers up, “this is fake.” he rose his left eyebrow in amusement, “yeah, but my love is what is real.” he said as if he became shakespeare while looking dramatically towards your balcony. with a smile on his face, “i’m sorry, i didn’t get enough time.” you returned his smile and shook your head before walking away towards your open balcony. “y/n!” he whined and followed along with an adorable pout. you stopped and turned around, “san,” you sighed, “you’ll run away, i know you will.” you knew that his dream would definitely come and haunt him back, the feeling to move from place to place, city to city and to country to country. how would the two of you manage in a relationship? he’ll leave you alone travelling while you sit back and cry over your loss. “how would this even work?” you asked, looking straight in his eyes for some sort of an explanation saying that it would work, it should, might, will. “you’re going to leave!” “t-then you’re here to bring me back,” you frowned, “so you’ll really run away?”

“i won’t go anywhere, let’s try it first!” he suggested. “try? san this is marriage not some game we can try and have multiple retries!” you argued back. “stop scaring me,” he said, taking a step toward you. “you’re already scared? you suggested marriage!” “y/n,” he sighs, “i still have those dreams, but with two tickets, two airplane seats and with two people, with you.” he responded, crossing his eyebrows. “i want to see the entire world with you by holding your hand beside me,” he paused, “have kids in one place and raise them in another, with you.” “look y/n, time doesn’t stop for anyone, not for you, not for me, not for anyone. it just keeps running and we keep spending it doing nothing, and before it runs out for me, i want you beside me in everything i do.” he paused once again, “in my mind i’m already married with you, heck i’m taking the vows in my mind right now. but i wanna get married with you for real, in real life.” he said, and you watched him with an emotion even you couldn’t comprehend yourself. “i’m in love with you!” “i gave such a long speech, at least clap for me.” and there he was, the choi san was back. your lower lip quivered whilst the tears in your eyes flowed like the nile river, you wrapped your arms around his shoulder, needing to tip toe in the process and burying your face in his neck. he wrapped his arms around your body, rocking the two of your left and right as you sobbed and sniffles and tightened your hold on him. when you pulled back, he cradled your face in his hands, leaning forward and pressing a loving kiss on your lips. “call the others, it’s almost time for the new year’s,” in between the kiss he whispered and you nodded. grabbing your phone from your couch you walked out to san sitting on your balcony furniture, signalling you with two of his fingers to come near him, you bit your lower lip and took slow steps towards him. once you stopped in front of him, he wrapped and arm around your waist and pulled you to sit on his lip, sending fireworks of butterflies in your stomach and you hid the blush on your face with a smile. “i’ll call woo, you call seulgi.” he says with a smile matching yours, rubbing his cheek against yours lovingly as if he was a cat. you dialled up the seulgi’s number, hoping that she had already landed and had some sort of a internet network by her or unless she’d make hanbin bring it for her. the ring went once, and on the twice one she immediately picked up and on the other so did wooyoung. “y/n, oh my god!” you smiled heartily at her loud voice, hearing a faint hanbin who questioned if it was you. “how’s the honeymoon?” “ayo, wooyoung, where you at? you’re still at the pub?” “wait, y/n is that san in the background?” you bit your lip at how sharp her ears were, when you didn’t respond she questioned again, “what the hell are you two doing together?” before you could answer to her question, san tapped the speaker button of his phone and a loud mouth wooyoung shouted form the other side, “y/n, you’re with this asshole!” you giggled at his words and put your phone on speaker as well, “what the heck! wooyoung you’re with them too?” “fucking seulgi is there too? did she ditch the poor groom already?” you and san fell into fits of laughter, slapping your knees at their cluelessness and you finally spoke up in between your laughter. “me and san are at my place,” you answered, smiling at san while bringing your phone closer to your mouth. seulgi and wooyoung shrieked at the same time and you’re sure you heard hanbin yell something incoherent in the back. “i knew you two liked each other! finally for god’s sake!” “thank god, i don’t need to fucking third wheel their asses over and over again!” you smiled widely at their words, san smiling while his gaze was stuck at your side profile. admiring how the wind pushed your hair back and forth and how a beautiful smile broke out on your swollen lips. “guys shut up, seulgi put your phone on speaker and get hanbin on!” san uttered and she did as he pleased. san lifted his hand up in the air, eyeing his rado watch and yelling, “new year’s in five!” “four!” yelled wooyoung. “three!” screamed seulgi and hanbin all the way from venice. “two!” you spoke softly, facing san who seemed to be looking at you with a bright smile. you leaned in upward, “one.” you whispered before slamming your lips onto his. “happy new years, guys!” san’s hand held your jaw and brought your lips even closer, smiling through the kiss while swiping his tongue on your lower lip, asking for permission right away. “oh c’mon! they’re kissing again.”

taglist : @essantial ; @castlerosie16 ; @blueish-sun ; @sannieshine ; @weliked2party ; @vlryt

[spef-mp3]

Class Of Cardinal Sin - Covey

With how much I dislike getting into music I find on tiktok its ironic that I discovered this gem of an album on that god forsaken clock app. I found a few videos of this guy Covey, real name Tom Freeman, talking about the characters he had created and shot for the cover art of his newest album. It was an easy rabbit hole to fall down with all his made up characters having their own backstories all intertwining with one another to create one huge plot that we as the audience had to figure out piece by piece. So I got curious and looked into the album he had put so much thought behind and boy I was not disappointed.

The entirely of Class Of Cardinal Sin sounds nostalgic, if I were to describe it as visuals, imagine a Polaroid photo of your childhood home faded and yellowed from light, mindless scribbles in the margins of school note books, the bittersweet memories trapped inside a yearbook whose pages are worn and frayed.

The lyrics themselves focus on telling stories from Covey's childhood, making it all the more a trip down memory lane. From divorce, to growing up around addiction to his relationship with his sister, we get to see snipets of his life through the spiralling almost rant-y lyrics. While he does use plenty of metaphors in his lyrics, I feel that a lot of the songs are written in a very straightforward manner, like hearing someone vent and dump and ramble about all the bullshit they had to endure when they were younger. It may not be the most poetic but it sounds raw and brutally honest and at times it's the simplest lines that hit closest to home.

The album starts with an absolute bombshell of a song that immediately drew me in and it's able to keep the flow going and maintain the mood throughout the tracks. Most of the songs have a lot of my weird music green flags including, trumpets, emo-esque vocals and melancholic guitars. No it doesn't make sense and no it doesn't have to.

I've got to highlight my favourite song on this album: Crooked Spine, which tells the story of Covey's sister and gives us a few glimpses into their relationship from when they were younger to now. The lyrics just hit so hard, they sound genuine and you can almost tell how long he's been wanting to let these feelings out. The phrasing and imagery he uses in the lyrics of this song paint such a tragic, regretful picture. It's beautiful in its melancholy. It's a reminder to his sister that he loves her and always had, and an apology for how he had treated her in the past.

I also want to list out a few of my favourite lyrics, reminder that most of them aren't profound in any way but perhaps with the way they were sung or the fact that I've never had someone to relate to, these lyrics really struck a chord with me

"I learnt to live without dependency and all it did was leave me fucking lonely" - Cut On The Crease

"How do you put a price on mental health whilst everybody's burning?" - 1991

"Those days you're feeling half alright is comparatively ecstasy" - Local Anesthesia

"Wash your hands of the crime, do it over again, a bullshit resurrection, its crooked in the end" - Marzipan Pills

my rating : 8/10

[itsclydebitches]

YYH Recaps: Koenma Appears

Welcome to episode two, everyone! Before we get to the recap proper, I want to continue down Nostalgia Lane for a moment. Remember how last time I mentioned a Hiei bookmark I used daily back in middle school? Well, I tore through an old "treasure box" I created as a kid (a collection containing everything from a shark tooth to a small book on witchcraft. You know, the important things every child needs) hoping to find it... but I didn't. It's a hard life we lead.

However, I did find some other YYH relics that I thought you all might enjoy seeing. Behold — and, if you'd like, laugh at — my collection:

First up is a picture of young Toguro and Genkai that I wanted to use as my bookmark, but found that it was too wide. For the record, I didn't (and still don't) care about Toguro much, he was just the byproduct of finding a cool Genkai picture. Not shown is the back of the image with the names of my classmates because I made them all sign this along with our yearbook.

God bless my friends for putting up with me.

Second is a collection of very pretty trading cards that I ordered from god only knows where. I have vague memories of not finding any at my local comics shop and convincing my mom to let me order on The Olde Internet. Did I want the trading cards to trade them? Absolutely not. They exist to sparkle and make my heart happy.

Finally, I've saved what is perhaps the best for last. Now, you have to understand that grade to middle school age Clyde did not have the education that she would receive later on, which includes a knowledge of the ephemeral nature of fanworks and the importance of accurate record keeping. What this means is that I have absolutely no context for this. No author, no explanation... just the image itself.

Was this a standalone fanart? A part of a fic? Some specific request or just the will of the artist? I cannot answer these questions. I tried a reverse image search (which is, admittedly, the extent of my tech skills) and you know what the single hit I got was? "Fiction." Thanks, google. So yeah, I can only assume that my child self considered Kurama giving a de-aged Hiei a bubble bath adorable enough to save, but the artist wasn't important enough to jot down for future viewing. Sorry about that, mystery artist. And, as should go without saying, if anyone does know where this came from please let me know! Though I suspect that this is a case of a YYH-specific site closing down and the fanworks getting lost along with it. That happened a great deal before the age of AO3 when volunteers decided to put their time and talent towards saving fanworks of all sorts... 

But enough of all that. Let's get to recapping!

As we established last episode, Yusuke and Botan are on their way to the spirit world to kickstart Yusuke's ordeal. Watching this after over a decade of consuming other media, I really appreciate that Yusuke acts like a human person and asks lots of questions about this. When Botan is cryptic for the sake of the audience — we're going to see "the person" who can explain everything — Yusuke is justifiably like, and what person would that be?? I mean, this is also a way to establish basic facts for the viewer and it simultaneously feeds into Yusuke being someone who is difficult for the sake of being difficult — "If someone wants to say something, they should come to me!" — but it's just nice to see a character who doesn't accept cryptic BS because the story needs them to. If Botan gives an unclear, but ~dramatic~ explanation, Yusuke is going to call her out on that.

So she explains that they're going to see King Yama and Yusuke is all whoa whoa whoa, there's royalty involved? Suddenly, he's not so adamant that they come to him. 

Botan tries to reinforce this rare spark of humility and demands that Yusuke be on his best behavior from here on out.

Pff. Yeah right.

But “he can send you to oblivion forever if he wants to!” is a suitable enough threat to cow Yusuke for now. Which is interesting considering that a few hours ago he was happy to accept hell as his rightful ending. Granted, we could argue that there's a big difference between hell and oblivion — a character may not be afraid of punishment in the same way they are a lack of existence — but I'd say this ties more into Yusuke's development at the wake. Now that he's accepted that people care for him and that he should strive to return to them, the threat of having it snatched away actually means something. Even if that line is otherwise positioned as a comedic moment.

Botan flies them through a portal where we see the River Styx below and Yusuke comments on how big everything is. At first I was like, "What are you talking about? You were just flying over some major city in fictional Japan, wasn't that big too?" but this line makes more sense when they reach the palace and you realize that yeah, it's big. As in, the camera blurs while tilting down its length to show how insanely tall it is. Yusuke and Botan are tiny gnats at the gate's entrance.

"Oh man, what a pad!" Yusuke says and sure, that's one way to look at it lol.

Botan announces that she has a "new arrival" and the gates open for them, but so far there's no one else around. One part of me wants to question the time and budget put into this scene because shouldn't there be, like, thousands of people? Even just waiting outside? The idea that this is the hub of the underworld and that Botan is responsible for ferrying all the souls, yet she is guiding just this one (1) dude for a solid day is, from a world building perspective, kind of nuts. But beyond the need to develop Botan as a character (she can't be a part of the story if her job is treated realistically, with all the endless work that entails), I think this choice functions rather well from an atmospheric perspective too. Meaning, this moment is supposed to be rather tense for Yusuke. He just died, just found out the afterlife exists, just discovered a desire to get his life back, and is now about to meet a King who can toss him into oblivion if he's rude — which Yusuke always is. So this is a Very Dangerous Moment and their relative isolation feeds into that. As does the setting. Yusuke flinches back from the hallway, saying that it looks like a giant throat, so he is now literally walking into the belly of the beast. 

Suddenly, the size of the palace isn't an indicator of awesome wealth, just general intimidation. Also, check out the spikey purple mountains in the background and the harsh reds of the scene, especially compared to the soft yellow of the river. All of it is designed to create an, "Oh shit" reaction in both Yusuke and the audience.

Yusuke's image of King Yama matches these surroundings:

Oh wait! Wrong character ;)

He's massive, red, shadowed, and poses a formidable threat. And how does Yusuke deal with threats? By fighting them! Even those he can't hope to beat. Remember, this isn't a situation where Yusuke has any power here, but he still desperately holds onto the possibility that he might. What if he gets off a punch on King Yama's nose? Then goes for his eyes? Yeah, that'll work! 

Overlooking the fact that it absolutely would not — Yusuke's fantasy conveniently skips how he escapes Yama's clutches — what exactly is Yusuke hoping to accomplish here? Somehow take over the entire underworld? Escape as a ghost and live out his afterlife in hiding? We don't know and that's because Yusuke doesn't know. He doesn't think ahead, he just obeys this instinct to fight. An instinct that, crucially, overrides everything else. Botan has already told him that all Yusuke needs to do is be polite and everything will be fine, but it's not even that Yusuke believes that he can't achieve that; that he knows himself too well and, fearing a slip, starts planning for a potentially inevitable confrontation. There are simply no plans outside of battle plans. Yusuke just hears about someone vaguely intimidating and his brain jumps straight to, "How do I beat him in a fight?" no matter the odds, or that other options are readily available to him. Again, much of YYH's characterization occurs though its comedy, so outside of the general humor of witnessing this fantasy, it actually does a stellar job of reinforcing precisely who Yusuke is. In life the only thing he had going for him was his ability to fight. It was his one joy, his one skill, arguably the one good thing he did if we frame those reflexes as "saving" the kid... so is it any wonder that fighting dominates his every thought? It's all he knows.

And, as we'll see down the line, that single-minded obsession is very useful to the spirit world.

For now though, Yusuke finishes his absurd plans to take down King Yama and Botan asks what in the world he's muttering about back there. Which is an unintentionally hilarious line because by the end Yusuke is not muttering, but full on shouting. Botan. How did you not hear him?

Not important. They reach the next door and we get our first inkling that all is not as Yusuke (and we) expect when Botan leans into an intercom to say that they've arrived. Tech in a fantasy spirit world? This feels not only out of place, but rather... mundane? That's the point. When the doors open Yusuke expects his super scary monster, but gets... a whole lot of monsters that aren't scary at all!

The underworld is run by various demons (or ogres), though their looks are contrasted with the harried office worker personalities they've got going on. Someone is running by with a comically tall stack of papers. Someone else is shouting into a cell phone. The first two demons we see cross paths, looking like they're about to punch one another, just as Yusuke expects... except they're just dramatically getting out of the other's way, worried not about the hierarchy of this realm, but the fact that someone is behind schedule. The nerve!

"This place is a madhouse!" we hear somehow shout and yeah, that's the joke. The afterlife is just as chaotic, overworked, and — ultimately — boring as any human office. For all the strangeness of seeing hundreds of demons, this is familiar.

Which, alongside Botan's bubbly nature contrasting assumptions about the Grim Reaper, is one of the first instances of YYH undercutting the viewer's expectations in terms of looks. No one entirely looks the part they play in this tale and if you're trying to teach people to look past surface characteristics... there are worse ways to do it. Horrifying creatures with horns and sharp teeth? Nah, they're just chill dudes trying to do their job. Cutesy girl who looks like she belongs in a mall reading magazines? Nah, she's the Grim Reaper. Terrifying delinquent with a spine-chilling reputation? Nah, he makes faces at kids and saves them from cars.

Of course, the "nah" isn't accurate either. These are monsters with horns, Botan is a cutesy girl, and Yusuke is a delinquent with that reputation. The message isn't so much that people look like Thing A, but get to know them and you'll discover they're actually Thing B, it's the idea that you can be A and B (and C, D, E...) simultaneously. People — or rather, seemingly simple archetypes — can, in fact, embody multiple characteristics at once.

We'll get our third example in just a second.

Yusuke makes a comment about this being the "dead people stock exchange" — accurate — and Botan leads him to a more ornate door past all the desks. It's clear they've arrived at King Yama's office, since she's bowing and formally presenting him to... someone. Yusuke looks around for the giant beast he's imagined, only for a tiny voice to hail him from the ground.

Looks are deceiving!

“This is Yusuke Urameshi and he’s honored to meet you." Botan knows what's up. She knows Yusuke isn't going to express anything of the sort without some prompting. Too bad he's busy cracking up at this apparent child running the show. Side note: Yusuke has a fantastic laugh.

He even goes so far as to accuse Botan of lying to him.

“Why would I lie about such a thing?!”

“Why would the spirit world be run by a toddler?”

It's true! That’s a legitimate question! I love that Yusuke asks questions. The "toddler" goes on to explain that he's actually the "mighty Koenma," son of King Yama, though he's lived fifty times as long as Yusuke, "so watch your mouth." Assuming Koenma knows and/or remembers how old Yusuke is — fourteen — and is good at math, that puts him at seven hundred years old. He looks good for his age!

"And in addition to knowing the secrets of the universe," he says, "I am quite potty trained."

You've gotta love Koenma.

Yusuke's attitude changes drastically once they get down to business. Koenma produces an egg, saying that Yusuke's ordeal is to hatch it and face what comes out. The hatching part isn't difficult, all he needs to do is keep it on his person. The challenge is in the fact that this egg will feed off his spirit energy and that energy in turn will change what kind of creature develops. If his spirit is wicked and cruel, so will be the beast and it will devour Yusuke upon hatching.

However, if his spirit is good and kind, the beast will become a sort of guardian, guiding him back to his living body.

Note though that throughout this conversation the egg is always a "beast." It's a "monster." It's not necessarily intentional, but there's a strong bend towards the negative here in the description that really emphasizes the whole "ordeal" aspect. Koenma briefly reassures Yusuke that he can remain a ghost if he prefers, but he's already made up his mind. Despite another threat of being lost to a void — this time through spiritual digestion — Yusuke takes the egg almost without hesitation.

He regrets it later though.

"I can't believe I did that."

Can we blame him? I'd be nervous about some egg feeding off the energy of my soul too and I'm a former, almost straight A student (damn you, math) with no life-altering regrets and a general desire to put as much good into this world as I'm able. I’m boring. But what if those occasional, mean little thoughts you have add up? What if the prejudices you're still unlearning stack against you? Does the egg care about what you do, or only how you feel about the act? This sort of test would eat me alive!

Maybe literally. 

Good thing Yusuke doesn't have time for an existential crisis!

Just as he's beginning to regret this decision, Botan points out that it won't matter if he passes if he doesn't have a body to return to. Now, why wouldn't he have a body? Maybe because his mom is set to cremate him tomorrow.

Whoopsie.

Yusuke is, understandably, distraught. We get another excellent exchange:

“Botan, is there any way for ghosts to communicate with living people?”

“Yes.”

“SO ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME?”

I swear, Yusuke is the only smart protagonist. I mean, he's dumb as a sack of bricks at times, but that's neither here nor there. Bless this fictional boy for reacting like an actual person. 

Botan explains that people are more attuned to the spirit world when they're asleep, so Yusuke can deliver a message to someone in their dreams. Seems easy enough. They first head to Atsuko, but find that she's raging drunk and nowhere near sleep. 

"You fool!" she yells. "No one gave you permission to die!" Atsuko continues to yell about how plenty of people survive car accidents, so why couldn't you? "Were you mad at me, Yusuke? Didn't I raise you right?"

Botan comments on how sad the display is. Yusuke's response?

“The only thing that’s sad is now she’s got one more excuse to act that way."

Y'all, that's some mature shit for a goofy shonen anime. Yeah, Yusuke recognizes that, while she's obviously heartbroken, his death has just given her another reason to do what she's been doing for years: drinking herself into a stupor. Toss in Atsuko putting the blame on Yusuke — "No one gave you permission to die!" — plus the belief that she did do a good job — "Didn't I raise you right?" — and it paints a rather bleak picture. This is by no means an uncommon theme. Negligent parents, whether they're framed that way or not, are pretty common in shonen series, but it's still rather jarring to re-watch this as an adult and go, "Oh. The situation’s like that." It's honestly a lot when you remove it from YYH's otherwise humorous, casual context.

Yusuke heads to Keiko's next and finds her sound asleep, commenting on how her room looks more "girly" than when they were kids. Check out that smile!

He's about to try and deliver his message, but Keiko is in the midst of a nightmare. “She’s crying… what’s wrong?”

Oh my god. Remember how I just said Yusuke is also the densest protagonist around? Example A right here. You just died, you fool! You just saw Keiko collapse at your funeral. What do you think is wrong??

We get a peek at Keiko's dream where she is — shockingly! — thinking of Yusuke. He's far out of reach, walking away and unresponsive to her calls. Keiko soon trips and Yusuke disappears completely.

Luckily, she has the real thing at her bedside. Yusuke tries talking to her and at first it's unclear if this supernatural stuff is really working. That is, until Keiko murmurs about how heavy he is.

Reassured, Yusuke delivers his message that Keiko needs to help Atsuko pull herself together and, most importantly, call off burning his body. We get this very soft and pretty background to establish their yet unspoken feelings for one another, though Yusuke gets close with, “I’m coming back. I don’t want to see you cry anymore" as he brushes her tears away. Aww.

Keiko wakes, thinking at first it was just a dream, but no, "I'm sure I felt it."

The next morning she heads to Atsuko's to explain the dream, only to first hear that Atsuko had a dream too, this one about Yusuke "living in some other world full of ogres and he kept knocking them down until he became their leader." It sounds absurd, of course, but it brings Atsuko some comfort to think of her boy in a place like that and Keiko backs down. Right, she'd only had a comforting dream too.

Now, there are two important parts to this exchange. The first is that this is an excellent example of how you let the characters drive the story, rather than forcing the characters adhere to the plot you've come up with. Meaning, in the latter situation, our cast would have needed to have their personalities twisted and the viewer's suspicion of disbelief tested to give Yusuke what he needs: a sleeping family member willing to believe his message. But it absolutely makes sense for Atsuko to be drunk rather than sound asleep, so Yusuke can't rely on her. Likewise, it absolutely makes sense for Keiko to be asleep, but not believe the dream once she's woken up. After all, how many times have we been persuaded by something in the dead of night only for things to look more logical and less likely in the morning? The characters act both like themselves and like people who do normal, people-ish things, which means that Yusuke runs into more conflicts. That's good! It not only raises the tension and stakes — now he has less than a day to convince someone — but makes his inevitable success feel that much sweeter. A less well written show (cough-RWBY-cough) would have had the characters change their personalities, behave in unlikely ways, or just come up with a sudden, contradictory solution because Yusuke needs to keep his body. Instead, Yusuke actually has to work for that within the bounds of the rules established and the likeliness of each plan succeeding. The first one fails? Move onto plan #2.

Second, this dream of Atsuko's has some cool implications within YYH's world. Meaning, we're about to learn in just a moment that some people are naturally more aware of the supernatural than others, even when they're not asleep. We'll also see down the line that spiritual awareness tends to run in families... so perhaps Atsuko possesses more than the average mother? I'm not saying it's necessarily intentional on the author(s) part, but we can choose to read this dream as evidence of spiritual awareness — true insight into the world Yusuke was just in and the fantasies he'd had about conquering it — rather than just a coincidental joke for the viewer. After all, Yusuke gets his own spiritual awareness from somewhere...

(Okay, so there's totally another, canonical reason for that, but we can have both!)

So, as Yusuke puts it, “This dream business isn’t gonna cut it.”

“There’s always the final method," Botan says.

“You always this vague?”

I am literally living for these interactions.

Botan explains that the more extreme form of communication is possessing a living person, but there are two rules attached: it has to be someone you know and the vessel has to be someone who is quite spiritually aware, as discussed above. Atsuko isn't a contender because the story hasn't acknowledged that she might be sensitive, that's just my own headcanon now. Yusuke outright says, “In that case I’m screwed. There’s no one like that!"

Cut to good old Kuwabara.

At first it looks as if he's just oh so conveniently sensing a spirit right when the audience has learned he has this power, but in reality it's Yusuke and Botan flying behind him that sets it off. Again: this show is pretty good about keeping things internally consistent, rather than making choices because That's Just How Stories Work, I Guess. Kuwabara's friends note that he's acting strangely and I love this detail that apparently one of the guys is new to their group because the other two need to explain that this is the "tickle feeling." Ever since Kuwabara was a boy he's been able to sense the dead around him. Some nice, some... not so nice.

He looks directly at Yusuke — even though he's not able to see him — and declares that what's following them is “A puny low-level ghost, like a haunted racoon or something.”

I'd support Yusuke's anger more if he hadn't just exclaimed his surprise that Kuwabara serves a purpose 😂

Yusuke is pissed enough though to proclaim that he won't do it, nuh-uh, no way is he possessing this guy's body. Botan's response is one of my FAVORITES in the WHOLE SERIES:

"Here's my impression of Yusuke: look at me, I’m burning!”

Literally 75% of this series is just about a found family sassing one another and I love it.

Obviously this helps Yusuke remember his priorities and he grudgingly agrees to the plan. Botan prepares Kuwabara's body somehow — idk, spiritual magic or whatever — and warns Yusuke that he only has an hour to find someone and warn them because a human body can't handle possession any longer than that. Sure. I buy it.

So Yusuke takes control and please ignore the incredible ethical issues here. The show will never acknowledge them again. 

He blurts out, “Hey, check it out! I’m inside Kuwabara, feeling smooth!"

Istg I don't remember the series being this unintentionally gay. I don't even ship Yusuke/Kuwabara and I'm digging the possibilities here lol.

Back on track, his friends drag him with, “Looks like he’s back to normal” because again, 75%. What's not normal though is Kuwabara (Yusuke) suddenly charging down the street to leave them behind. He heads straight to the restaurant where Keiko's parents work, demanding to see her. They're rightly concerned about this stranger barging in and screaming for their daughter.

Upon asking who he is/why they should tell him, Yusuke makes his biggest mistake: “Because it’s me, you guys, I’m Yusuke!”

Obviously the time limit and raw emotion of knowing who he is has outweighed the knowledge that, you know, no one would believe that. Yusuke has spent the last two days bopping around as a ghost and familiarizing himself with some of the afterlife's insanity. The knowledge of what's normal for everyone else — AKA, not dead boys appearing in strangers' bodies — is not at the forefront of Yusuke's mind.

So, Keiko's parents react accordingly! The father in particular is disgusted by this claim, going so far as to threaten Yusuke with his knife and outright insult Kuwabara's looks: “Yusuke was never ugly like you… we were close family friends with that boy!" His wife chimes in that this kind of joke is particularly heinous on the day of his funeral. Between Atsuko drunkenly blaming Yusuke for his death and Mr. Takenaka grieving for what he might have been, this is one of the few times we see someone just sad for Yusuke's passing, exactly as he was and without regrets or criticism. "We were close family friends with that boy" paints a nice contrast to the delinquent persona Yusuke was cultivating.

As he's thrown out of the restaurant he says, “We should have special passwords for times like this!” Fun fact, my family does! Well, not this exact situation lol. I was given a password as a child to memorize in case my parents ever needed to send someone else to pick me up or interact with me in any way. If the stranger didn't know the password, I was to kick up a fuss. I rest easy with the knowledge that this password would not doubt assist me if I was ever in Yusuke's position!

With Keiko's parents a bust, Yusuke starts sprinting to everywhere she frequents with the hope of running into her. Or at least he tries. 

Yusuke is suddenly waylaid by a group of nameless teens with a bone to pick with Kuwabara. And you know what? I like it. I wonder how much of my praise stems from coming off of RWBY Volume 8, but it's just so nice to watch a story where the plot — simple as it is — hangs together. We've established that Kuwabara is a street fighter. Last episode we watched him start a fight with Yusuke. Yusuke is on a time limit. Now Kuwabara's tendencies have created a new hurdle for Yusuke!

Needless to say, Yusuke kicks butt, even in Kuwabara’s body. 

As one guy is passing out he says, “Man that hurt! I didn’t think anyone could throw punches that hardcore except Yusuke Urameshi."

Yusuke: “Darn, giving Kuwabara a good name." LOL

You think this challenge is finished though? Nah. Over the course of about half an hour Yusuke encounters a comical number of people trying to get even with Kuwabara. 

As always, I like the nods towards this writing decision to help justify it, with Yusuke wondering how Kuwabara has pissed this many people off. If you want to pull off something that has a low chance of happening, it can help to give the characters a "Seriously?" moment. If both they and the audience are on the same page over how ridiculous this situation is, the audience is more likely to accept it once the character does.

By the time Yusuke escapes his hour is nearly up. However, thanks to some coincidental plotting, he spots Keiko's friends just across the street! 

YYH does a decent job of making its characters feel like they have their own lives outside of what's immediately happening on screen and we get a good example of that here. We pick up the girls' conversation partway through, both of them worried about Keiko's state of mind and, given that we'll see in a second that Keiko was in the store with them, it implies that something happened to reignite this worry. They're off enjoying their day, doing their own thing, there was an event we're not privy to, and now we catch the response to that. It just helps make the characters feel more well-rounded even though they are, at their core, one-dimensional background characters who don’t even have names yet.

Case in point: the one girl is still concerned with their image. "People are starting to say things!"

Yeah, your friend's childhood friend just died. Hopefully they're saying, "Poor thing."

Anyway, Yusuke runs up to ask where Keiko is only for both girls to run away screaming. Turns out his face is messed up from the numerous fights and Keiko's friends are easily scared. 

Luckily, Keiko comes out just a second later and Yusuke is faced with the challenge of how to convince her in, oh, about five minutes. Remember, we've already established through Keiko's parents that just saying, "I'm Yusuke" doesn't work. That's why he hesitates. It's not just drama for the sake of drama, he's stuck.

“I’ve known her my whole life, there must be something between us that only I would do!”

Yeeeeaah. About that 😬

Suddenly inspired (I suppose that's one way to put it...) Yusuke runs up behind Keiko and grabs her breasts. “Keiko, nice uniform! They’re so squishy!”

It goes without saying that, like flipping her skirt up, this isn't okay. More specifically, the problem lies in the story framing this as a joke for the audience, something to laugh at despite Keiko's discomfort, rather than the concept of two childhood friends actually be that comfortable with one another. But, as already established, this is one of the more ehhhh aspects of Yusuke's characterization that, luckily, will mostly disappear as the story goes on.

Note though that the show clearly wants us to think highly of this. Not just as a "joke," but as a smart solution to his problem and more evidence of their inevitable relationship — the background becomes the same soft, bubbly background we saw during their dream conversation. And, admittedly, it does work. Keiko instinctively slaps Yusuke hard enough to knock him to the ground and he starts laughing, saying that he doesn't care what anyone on the street says, she hits the hardest.

What I do like about this is that the assault isn't the only thing Keiko bases her faith on. Not only has she already had the dream, we get to see Yusuke from her perspective, showing all the mannerisms she picks up on by superimposing Yusuke's real body over Kuwabara's. Indeed, she says as much: “I knew it was you from the first time you spoke…and it’s not just your stupid gags, or how you laugh. There are ways you move and speak that in a hundred years I wouldn’t forget."

Catch me crying in this club!

Knowing she believes him and that he's almost out of time, Yusuke reiterates his message: please don't burn my body and also keep Mom on track. Only, you know, it's phrased far better than that lol. As he speaks, both Yusuke's and Kuwabara's voices overlap until the latter grows fainter and only Yusuke's voice remains. His body too. It's a nice touch, avoiding the awkwardness of Keiko having this moment with a stranger, even if that is what's happening on some level.

“I know I’ve been a bum to you at times, but please wait for me."

His hour up, now we can get the awkwardness! Kuwabara comes out of his weird trance thing to find Keiko crying against his chest. Wow, he thinks, this girl must be really into me! 

God, to have the confidence of Kuwabara.

Of course, Keiko quickly realizes it's not Yusuke anymore and slaps him too for cuddling her closer. My favorite thing is that when she does this a crowd INSTANTLY appears. I mean they TELEPORT in. We needed an audience for Kuwabara's shame and YYH delivered, all logic be damned.

“Um, sorry about that!” Keiko yells as she runs away, because she's a good person who recognizes that weird spirit things just went on and Kuwabara isn't actually to blame.

“No, that’s okay. I probably deserved it," Kuwabara responds because he's also a good person and I didn't appreciate him nearly as much as I should have as a kid.

Keiko runs all the way to Atsuko's place where she finds her dressed for Yusuke's funeral. She blurts that Yusuke might still be coming back and Atsuko goes, "He already has." Turns out she opened his coffin to "smack him one more time for leaving me" — yikes — and found that his heart had started beating again, just as Koenma said it would. 

Being in a shonen anime, they apparently decide to just trust Keiko's message rather than, idk, taking him to a hospital or something.

The camera tilts up to show that Yusuke has been watching all this, including that both women break down again and comfort one another. Aww. How heartwarming.

What's less fuzzy though is this mysterious egg. Yusuke takes another look and finds that it has developed a heartbeat too, presumably in time with his body's. He theorizes that he did decent things today, right? But Botan (teasingly) points out that he did beat up a lot of other kids. Rather than getting angry, Yusuke remains uncharacteristically pensive, emphasizing the magnitude of what this means for him. He's got to get it right.

No pressure or anything! We'll have to see how Yusuke balances his karmic scales in the next episode. Until then, I'll try not to put all my TV time into Star Trek: Voyager :D 

See you then!  💜

[drabblily]

pairing: akaashi keiji x female reader

genre: fluff, TLFY!au

warnings: a little nsfw

word count: 1280

synopsis: on a trip to your parents’ house for akaashi to meet them, you also take a trip down memory lane as well

author’s note: chapter fourteen of ellie and i’s “the last five years” au collab. HHHHH i love this chapter, hope you enjoy it too <3

my best friend had a little situation at the end of our senior year

and like a shot, she and mitchell got married that summer

you sat in the passenger seat of akaashi’s black convertible, the wind ruining your perfectly done hair; even though your parents would probably scold you on looking so improper you couldn't seem to care about that at all in the moment. you had your senior yearbook out, telling your boyfriend about your old friend who got knocked up in high school. 

“carolann was getting bigger literally every minute, you wouldn’t believe how huge she got, ‘kaashi! and mitchell was going out ev’ry night being a heavy-metal drummer...i mean i guess it worked out for them though, they got a little cute house on a little cute street with a crucifix on the door. oh! but mitchell got a job at a record store in the mall, so maybe not so much?” you giggled, closing the book.

just the typical facts of a typical life in a town on the eastern shore

“oh really? did you want something like that, hmm?” he asked teasingly, coming to a stop at a red light, looking at you with an eyebrow raised. 

you thought about his question, thought about what you wanted...and it wasn’t like that at all. you looked towards akaashi, shaking your head quickly, “i made carolann a cute baby sweater, thinking ‘i can do better than that!’” leaning over the center console, you grabbed your boyfriend’s pretty face in your hands and pressed a quick kiss to his soft lips. the traffic lights turned to green but he didn’t start driving again; instead, he went to go in for another kiss--well tried to before you ended up smacking him away with a laugh, telling him to start driving again.

in a year or so, i moved to the city, thinking “what have i got to lose?” 

got a room, got a cat, and got twenty pounds thinner

you sighed, looking up to the blue sky in wonder and disbelief, a wild memory of your past relationship coming to your head. “i remember, i met a guy in a class i was taking with some very well placed tattoos,” you started, rolling your eyes at the thought of him, “he wouldn’t leave me alone ‘less i went with him to dinner.”

“tell me about him, love.” the nickname akaashi had grown to give you made your stomach twist and explode with butterflies, embarrassing warmth flooding your cheeks.

“well, i guess he was cute, and i guess he was sweet, and i guess he was good in bed. i gave up my life for the better part of a year. so i’m starting to think that this maybe might work and the second it entered my head…” your head rolled to look at your lover, deadpanning, “he needed to take some time off, focus on his ‘career.’ he blew me off with a heartfelt letter! the audacity, really...but i couldn’t help but think ‘i can do better than that!’”

you don’t have to get a haircut, you dont’t have to change your shoes, you don’t have to like duran duran...just love me…

you reached your hand over to him, running your fingers through his black locks, tugging it ever so slightly. he eyed you from the corner of his eyes, looking at you curiously with a pleasured groan, “what?”

“just thinking. listen, you don’t have to put the seat down--” he snorted at your words, interrupting your intimate speech that you just came up with two seconds ago, “listen! you don’t have to watch the news, you don’t have to learn to tango. you don’t have to eat prosciutto, you don’t have to change a thing for me ‘kaashi.”

just stay with me

he drove to a private corner that wasn’t on your way to your parent’s house, pulling over and parking the car. he took off his seatbelt, looking at you with need, “get in the back, love.” a shiver ran down your spine and straight to your core at his dominant tone, immediately climbing over the chair and taking off your cardigan, watching as he got out of the car and took off his own dress shirt, jumping over the door to get to you quicker (the way his toned muscles in his arm tensed as he did so was so very intoxicating.)

his hands slid under back, fitting himself between your legs like a puzzle, leaning down to place kisses all over your jaw and neck, nipping at your skin here and there. you arched into him, a small moan escaping your lips, your nails dragging down his back. “i want you and you and nothing but you,” you breathed out, grabbing his face to look at you, “miles and piles of you. finally, i’ll have something worthwhile to think of each morning…”

you kissed him deeply, your mouth automatically opening for his access. your hands reached down to unbuckle his pants, making quick work with unbuttoning them next. he got up off of you, kicking his pants off quickly. “what else do you want, darling? i’ll give it to you, anything.” 

“you, ‘kaashi, and nothing but you.” you sat up, pushing him back down and straddling his hips as best as you could in the small car. you tugged your shirt off--luckily you did wear a skirt today so...that was easy to work with. he dove into your chest, your hands flying back up to his hair and pulling at it. you dragged your teeth along his earlobe, panting into his ear, “you’re mine. totally mine.”

i don’t need any lifetime commitments

i don’t need to get hitched tonight

you were back on the road, fixing your smudged lipstick with a smile. you stole a look at akaashi, admiring his disheveled hair and marks that you left on his neck. “like what you see?” he teased, his electrifying blue eyes narrowed at you.

“hell yeah i do.” you pinched his cheek playfully, sticking your tongue out before becoming somewhat serious again, “i don’t mean to put on any pressure, ‘kaashi, but i know when a thing is right, and i spend everyday re-configuring my senses! so when when we get to my house, take a look at that town, at how far i’ve gone. i will never go back, never look back anymore because it feels like my life led right to your side and will keep me there from now on!” 

he softly smiled at you, caressing your cheek, “i love you, y/n.”

think about what you wanted

think about what could be

think about how i love you

he pulled into your childhood neighborhood, parking his car at the curb in front of your parents’ house. before he could open his door, you grabbed onto his wrist, “say you’ll move in with me. think about it, at least. think of what’s great about me and you. think of the bullshit we’ve both been through. think of what’s past. because…we can do better than that, keiji.”

you saw him gulp when you said his actual name for the first time before breaking out into a wide grin, “love...i don’t have to think about it. let’s do it, okay? anywhere you want, as long as we are together.” 

you smiled brightly, tears springing to your eyes at his sudden acceptance, “i love you, so much. oh! there’s my parents, ah--wait you have a little bit of my lipstick on your lip, lemme help you so my mom doesn’t think bad of you…”

we can do better than that!

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[the-voltage-diaries]

BirTAKIDAY Countdown Day 2: “You’ve always been able to make me smile.” - Taki Kozaki [Request]

Special thanks to @akaiiro-yume​​​ for being the beta/proof reader. Your reactions are the absolute best, after your typos of course. THANK YOU!

“What are you doing?” Taki asked, peeking over (Y/N)’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of what she held in her delicate hands. His arms placed themselves on the backrest of the couch and he rested his weight against them, relaxing at once when (Y/N)’s familiar scent reached him. She smelled like roasted chestnuts, mixed with a bit of some welcoming cocoa.

“Hmm?” (Y/N) turned to look at him, settling back into the soft cushions and wrapping her quilt a little tighter around herself. “Oh,” she continued, processing his question, “I was just looking through some of our photo-books.”

Taki raised a questioning brow and glanced at the matte pages smoothening under (Y/N)’s warm palm. On the table beside her lay some more thick books, the corners of pictures peeking out of them. His eyes briefly scanned the spine of what appeared to be a year book, but before he could investigate any more, his wife intertwined their fingers, stealing his attention.

“Want to join me?” Her big, beautiful eyes bore into his inquisitively, and he couldn’t deny that the idea of cuddling under the quilt on a cold day with his beloved did sound pretty darn tempting. “Looking back on the memories will be fun, I promise!”

Little did she know, she didn’t need to even try to convince the man. He was already whipped enough for her to grab on to any opportunity to have her close and never let go.

“Ow!” she cried out when Taki pinched her cheeks adoringly, a chuckle spilling past his lips. “That hurts, you know!”

His fingers let go of the soft skin of her cheek and he walked around the couch to stand in front of her. “Not my fault you’re adorable. Now scoot.”

(Y/N) turned to the side to allow Taki to drop into the space between her and the back of the couch, and once he was settled, she let him slip his arm behind her head and nuzzled into his shoulder. Taki quietly kissed the top of her head while his other arm slipped around her waist, pulling her close.

“Mm, you’re warm,” he whispered, inhaling the calm scent of cocoa coming off of her as he buried his head deeper into the crook of her neck. “Now, what were you looking at?”

“Our pictures. It’s nice taking a walk down the memory lane once in a while, you know?”

“Mm-hmm, it does,” he murmured, his voice taking on a deeper rumble. It was surprising how only being in (Y/N) close proximity relaxed him immediately, no questions asked. It was so easy for him to lose himself in her warmth, her love. He enjoyed every living second of it.

A comfortable silence descended between the two as (Y/N) flipped the pages, pointing at something or the other every now and then. Taki only hummed in acknowledgement, too focused on any and every shot of his wife to bother looking at anything else.

‘She’s beautiful. She always has been,’ he thought to himself, stealing a quick glance at his smiling partner, noticing the way her eyes lit up every time a new memory flashed at the front of her mind. ‘I’m so damn lucky to have her in my life again...’

“Oh! These are from our wedding,” she suddenly exclaimed, stopping his train of thought. He looked back at the pages to see the picture of his then-fianceé, dressed up in white from head to toe, with occasional splashes of blue and red. She had looked like the most gorgeous woman on the planet that day, the epitome of elegance and beauty as she walked down the aisle and into his waiting arms.

“You look beautiful,” he said, tracing his fingers over the picture, and (Y/N) couldn’t stop the blood that shot to her cheeks at the way he used present tense, backhandedly complimenting her beauty even to the present day. “We really did get married, didn’t we?”

“Such a flirt,” she whispered to herself, but she knew he heard it - if the way he scoffed in amusement was any indication. “And what do you mean, ‘didn’t we’? If you have any regrets, I’ll have you know it’s too late. You’re stuck with me till you go bald and have a wrinkly little face with drooping eyes.” She paused, and before he could utter a word, she added, “Actually, you know what? You’re stuck with me not only till then but even after then. Deal with it.”

She watched on with adoring eyes as he erupted into a fit of laughter, kissing the top of her head again as his shoulders shook. “Ah, gosh,” he breathed as he finally calmed down, “You’re hilarious.”

He gave her eyes a meaningful look before he lifted up her left hand, placing his gentle lips on the ring shining on its designated finger.

“I could never regret that day, even if I tried. It’s just that... I still can’t believe you actually married me. It still seems as magical as it did then, believe me.” He dipped his head, giving her a light peck before pulling back to gaze into her orbs. His eyes flickered down to look at her lips for a second before her hand came to rest at the back of his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. 

It wasn’t deep still, but the way their mouths moved in harmony seemed too addictive to let go of, making this one last a bit longer.

“And for the record,” Taki whispered as he pulled back to smile at her, connecting their foreheads, “I’d be glad to have you sticking by side till we grow old. I’d welcome it, even.”

“What an absolute flirt,” she said, louder this time, and bopped his nose before turning back to the picture book. “Let’s get back to this, yeah?”

“We can look at it later...”

Taki was about to grab her by her jaw and pull her to him, when (Y/N) said, “No can do. I’m not about to miss this precious smile, got it?”

It was then that Taki’s eyes turned to the page, giving it a once over, and he saw a four years younger version of himself, dressed up in a smart three-piece suit. It was a shot of him looking at the aisle as (Y/N) walked towards him, and on his face was a look of pure love and adoration. 

In the picture, his eyes lit up like the brightest of stars and his lips tugged up into the most mesmerizing of smiles at the sight of the woman who would soon be his wife.

“There’s nothing special about it. It’s just a smile,” he muttered, rolling his eyes playfully.

“Oh boy, you have NO idea how precious you look when you smile, do you?”

“I do not look precious.”

“Damn straight you do.”

“Do not.”

“Yes you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“If you disagree one more time, I’ll make Yosuke Chinese food. Exclusively for him.”

That successfully shut Taki up, and (Y/N) grinned at her victory before jumping up to press a kiss to his cheeks when she saw him pout. This man was downright adorable to the extent of being illegal. Goddamnit, him and his dorky self.

“Oh wait,” (Y/N) paused, suddenly getting up to grab another book from the table. “Let me show you something.”

She nuzzled back into his side with a yearbook in her hands, and quickly opened up a page with another shot of Taki - albeit a teenage one - sweating with soccer ball in his hands, a proud, victorious smile gracing his features.

“Look at that. Such a precious smile,” she muttered, and Taki didn’t miss the way she seemed absolutely smitten. They were both whipped for each other, alright. “And look at this, and this, and this!” 

(Y/N) kept pulling out more and more pictures of Taki from the books, some of them being from his teenage years, some from his older years, and some from their married life. All of them were from different time periods, but they had one thing in common; Taki was smiling in every single one of them.

“Who knew you could smile so much?” (Y/N) looked at him, a mischievous chuckle escaping her. “If someone had told me this was you when I first met you after 10 years, I would have smacked them in the head.”

“... Is it really that rare...” Taki scratched at the back of his neck, a sheepish blush making it’s way to his face. When (Y/N) sent an affirmative nod his way, it was all he could do to not feel any more embarrassed. “Well, you shouldn’t really be that surprised, I suppose.”

“Hm? Why so?”

“I mean...” Taki bit his lip, willing himself to go on and complete his statement instead of letting his awkwardness get to him, “It’s because of you, after all.”

(Y/N) looked at him, her inquisitive eyes asking him to elaborate on it, and he did just that.

“It’s not my fault, you know, that...” he whispered, looking away in defeat as the red in his cheeks deepened, and (Y/N) had to forcefully stop herself from cooing at her precious little ball of fluff, “You’ve always been able to make me smile.”

“Oh my god, I love you,” (Y/N) muttered to herself, at a complete loss for words. Her awe at how cute her husband could possibly get gave way to a wide smile and she burst into a fit of giggles, wrapping her arms around Taki and pulling him close, the album forgotten.

“Enough, shut it already,” Taki murmured, hiding his face in the crook of her neck as he pulled her closer. He didn’t have a lot of time, though, because (Y/N) pulled his face back to look at him before stooping in for a quick kiss.

“I mean it. I love you, Taki.” She looked into his eyes, and all he saw the traces of humor vanishing from her own, a genuine care replacing them. “I love you,” she repeated.

One of his hands shut the book close and he bent forward to place it back on the table, before settling back into the warmth of the couch. His palm cupped her jaw, fingers gingerly grazing her cheek. He looked at her with so much love in that moment as he dived in, stopping just short of her lips. “I love you too, (Y/N),” he breathed, capturing her mouth with his own in the sweetest, slowest, gentlest of kisses.

And she heard it loud and clear. Both, the message he sent her directly, and message swimming behind those words, just hiding under the surface.

Thank you for being the reason I smile.

[thistledownandmagic]

Tag 9 people you would like to know better/catch up with

Tagged by @exsequar! I’m gonna do this quick because I don’t want to forget. Thanks for thinking of me, Anne! <3

Last song: the last song I added to my Autumn Yearbook mix was Pomplemoose’s cover of Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle”. I love pretty much all their covers.

Last movie: Last actual narrative movie? Enola Holmes. That being said, after subscribing to HBO Max and taking advantage of their access to The Criterion Collection, I’m going through what Olympic documentaries they have to stream. I’ve watched the documentaries on Atlanta 1996, Sydney 2000, Athens 2004, LA 1984, Seoul 1988, Lillehammer 1994, and am planning on starting on Nagano 1998 next. They don’t have all of the 100 Years of Olympic Films (I’m a little miffed that London 2012 is not represented yet), but there’s so many to watch, both of the summer and winter variety. :)

Currently watching: Besides the aforementioned journey through Olympic Memory Lane, I recently re-watched the entirety of Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown. Thanks, HBO Max. :)

Currently reading: It’s probably the same answer since the last time I answered one of these - Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s Letters From An Astrophysicist. I got about a third of the way through it and then became... distracted.

Currently craving: Kettle Corn Pop-Corners. That shit is ADDICTIVE.

--

I’m literally past my bedtime, so I’ll come back and tag friends tomorrow. :)

[moonbeambucky]

The Price of Gold (Part 3)

Pairing: Lance Tucker x Reader Word Count: 3019 Warnings: flashbacks within flashbacks, fluff

Summary: As a sports journalist you’ve traveled the world interviewing famous athletes. You’ve loved your job up until you find out your next article is on the last person in the world you ever wanted to talk to, Lance Tucker.

A/N: This doesn’t follow The Bronze canon though some film details are mixed with real world events. Written for @green-eyeddragonfanfiction Dragon’s 3k Follower Creative Content Challenge. My prompt was “I can’t be in love with you!” gif source (x)

PART 2 | THE PRICE OF GOLD MASTERLIST

Logging off your computer you looked around your desk to make sure things were in order, quickly unplugging your phone charger from the USB port before stuffing it into your bag. Heather caught up with you near the elevator, she was still overjoyed for your trip which you needed to get home and pack for.

“When was the last time you went back to Florida?” she asked.

Your mouth pulled to the side as you scanned your memories, “About three years ago, when my parents sold their house.”

They downsized to a condo in St. Petersburg near the water so your father could finally buy a boat and enjoy his retirement. You remember the trip vividly, coming down for a long weekend to assist with packing and finally clearing out your old bedroom.

As the cab turned down your block all of the memories of Spring Hill you had left behind suddenly hit, making your stomach uneasy. You couldn’t help but gaze over towards Lance’s old house, shuddering as you pictured the countless times you spent there.

Running inside your house quickly you hugged your parents, choking back tears as you saw how your childhood home was packed away into boxes stacked up in the living room. You looked out to the pool, a luxury you did not have access to in New York.

It had been retiled some years ago but otherwise it remained the same. It was the place you could go to de-stress, floating on an inflatable chair as you soaked up the sun’s rays, the place you had fun, laughing with friends as you jumped into the pool splashing everyone with a cannonball, and all of the times you spent there with Lance.

“One, two, three, go!” you said, kicking off the wall, moving your arms and legs in tandem as you swam across to the other side of the pool. Reaching the wall you saw Lance had stopped midway. “Come on!”

“I… I can’t!” he quivered, swimming back to the starting point of your impromptu race.

Lance stood up, reaching his arms back on the edge of the pool and pushed himself to sit, his feet dangled in the water as his head hung low. Swimming back towards him you did the same, nudging your wet arm against his. “What’s wrong?”

Lance wrestled with his emotions, he was ashamed, feeling too scared to swim in the deep end of the pool. He was ten years old, he wasn’t a baby anymore so why did he feel like one? He wasn’t sure if he was more embarrassed over the fact that he was scared or that you would find out the truth about why he’s insisted on playing games and swimming in the shallow end of your pool. He was certainly glad his father wasn’t there; he would have slapped him, told him to be a man and thrown him into the pool without regard.

Lance turned to face you, insecurity swirling in the blue of his eyes that matched the water below. The corner of your lips pulled into a little smile that matched the tilt of your head, the pleading look in your eyes reminded him that he could tell you anything and so he did.

“Trust me, I won’t let you drown,” you said, plopping back into the water and reaching your hand out for him to follow.

With hesitance Lance slowly slipped back into the cold water, swallowing a nervous gulp as he stared at you. Dipping his shoulders below the water he prepared himself to swim but quickly lost his nerve again.

“Lance I promise. If you panic I’ll help you.”

Fear took hold of him and Lance nervously chewed his lip. “What if you can’t?”

You firmly gripped his bony shoulders, speaking with the conviction of someone twice your age, “Trust me.” You loosened your grip but kept your hands on his cool skin until he nodded, a nervous smile making its way to his boyish face. “Besides, I’m a mermaid, remember? I’m Ariel and you’re Prince Eric.”

“But Eric drowned,” he added.

“Nooo,” you sarcastically said, “He almost drowned but Ariel saved him just like I’ll save you.”

His fear was still present but the kindness in your eyes helped Lance gain a bit of confidence and he was ready. You swam beside him, looking over to make sure he didn’t stop halfway or panic. When he made it all the way across he gripped the edge of the pool with one hand, wiping the water off his face. Pulling him in for a congratulatory hug he yelped, not wanting to slip away from the edge where his fingers were turning white with his forceful hold, but despite his minor panic Lance smiled. He was able to swim across because of you.

When entering your old bedroom you were surprised to see how it changed. Your parents had converted it to a guest room and office. Your furniture was in the same spot but now childhood trinkets that previously occupied the space were boxed away in the closet, replaced by decorative items like globes and vases.

It was the boxed items you were there to sort through. Pulling them out of the closet you opened them one by one, coughing as the dust scattered in the air. You made three piles; things to take back to New York, things to donate and things to throw away.

You set aside some stuff you hadn’t taken during your initial move from home, like old photo albums and your yearbook. You tried on a couple of clothes, and spent more time than anticipated as you read old notes you and your friends had passed during class before throwing them away.

The notes reminded you of the box you had yet to encounter, the one you remembered throwing everything in as tears streaked down your cheeks. There you were, face to face again with it– the Lance box. You stood unmoving, staring it down as if you were in an old Western shootout. Your heart beating rapidly as you faced your enemy, a stupid cardboard box, and yet it had the power to hurt you more than any bullet ever could.

Your fingers itched as you contemplated the box. You could just throw it out, place the whole thing in the garbage and never look at it again. It’s not like you needed anything in there, what could you do with Lance’s old shirt? Yet part of you yearned to open it, to travel down memory lane one last time no matter the consequence.

Sitting on your bed you placed the box in front of you, tugging open the folded cardboard to reveal the contents inside. Lance’s shirt was in there, crumbled up and covering most of items. It had an old smell to it as you took it out, shaking out the wrinkles to see Bugs Bunny and Taz in street wear, a ridiculous trend that had you laughing to yourself. Tossing the shirt into the donation pile you looked down at the box again and lost your smile.

An endless pile of photos of you with Lance stared back at you. You flipped through them quickly, not wanting to linger too long on the memory of each. The rest of the box was filled with random things, old notes, movie ticket stubs and even some old McDonald’s Happy Meal toys. Your heart sank however when you looked at your old teddy bear with Lance’s first gold medal around his neck. You remember how proud he was, not to have earned first place in the competition, but to give it to you just to see the smile on your face.

Tears stung at your eyes and you felt that was your cue to stop. You threw the photos back in, not bothering to move the toys to the donation pile, you wanted this box closed and thrown out. You hugged the bear, feeling the cold medal press against your skin as you silently said goodbye. A pang of guilt rang through you for placing the bear in the box with the rest of the memories to be thrown away. The bear’s dark plastic eyes stared back at you, silently screaming its innocence. You knew it had done nothing wrong and yet you couldn’t separate a silly teddy bear from the memories of Lance. A tear slipped out, running down your cheek as you sealed up the box and brought it outside.

Your mother recognized the box you carried and questioned if you wanted to throw it out. You scoffed at her. Really? She knew what happened and she has the audacity to question if you want to keep these memories? You grabbed large garbage bags to take back into your room for the donation pile, insisting you did not want or need anything in the Lance box.

After finishing your own items you helped your parents pack away the last of their things before you said a final goodbye to the place you grew up in. Your dad was ready to drive you to the airport, taking your suitcase to the car as you and your mother finished saying goodbye. She glanced over towards the large pile of garbage, her lips pressing together into a tight line as she eyed the box you had thrown out.

“Dorothy still lives there you know,” your mother said.

Your shoulders slumped down at her words, exhaling a heavy sigh. You were headed back to New York and with your parents moving you would never be back in Spring Hill again. If there was any time to say hello to Dorothy Tucker it was now.

“I can’t see her mom,” you said, struggling to keep your voice from faltering. It broke your heart to say it; Dorothy was like a second mother to you but after Lance that was all over.

Your mom wrapped her arms around you, rubbing your back comfortingly before you got into the car with your dad, saying goodbye to Spring Hill forever.

Your apartment was upside-down as you packed for your trip. Two weeks. You’re scheduled– no, being forced into spending two weeks with Lance Tucker. Two days would have been enough for the story as you insisted to Sue, though two minutes would be too much for your liking.

With ear buds in you dialed your parents, slipping your phone into the pocket of your hoodie as you roamed about the apartment gathering things together to pack.

“Hey mom. How’ve you been?” you said, waiting for her response. “Yeah I’m good. I’m actually coming to Florida… Yeah an assignment,” you answered her, stopping in your tracks as she asked who you would be interviewing.

“I can’t say yet,” you lied, a trait you’ve been doing a lot lately.

You didn’t want her to rehash the past. Your mom had been the biggest supporter of you and Lance and though she was there to comfort you at your lowest point she also encouraged you to talk to him. She knew you were hurt but she didn’t think you should lose each other over what happened. Lance was immature but so were you, making a snap decision to end everything instead of talking through things. Your mother saw the big picture and she always thought you would end up with Lance, watching you grow up together, seeing your friendship blossom into romance, she was just as hurt when it ended.

“Maybe we can get together on my birthday,” you suggested as it would occur during your trip. You were hoping to get away from Lance for a bit to see your parents, anticipating yourself becoming upset by having to see him.

“Oh honey, if Dad and I knew you were coming down we would have switched our cruise,” she fretted.

“It’s alright, this was last minute,” you sighed, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice, “I forgot about the cruise, where are you headed?”

You finished packing as your mom excitedly discussed her upcoming trip, pulling your suitcase next to the front door and staring at it with disdain. You travelled quite often for this job spending more time out of the office than in it, looking forward to every trip up until now.

Landing in Tampa you felt the heat the moment you stepped off the plane. The sun was stronger than you remembered, especially for the morning. You made your way to the transportation floor, having previously arranged a car service to pick you up for the drive to Spring Hill.

You felt overdressed as you walked through the terminal, seeing groups of people in casual clothing, shorts and flip flops. You would be making it to your hotel with just enough time to check in, drop your things off in your room and meet Lance for your interview so you had dressed accordingly, a beige blazer and skirt with a sleeveless rose colored blouse and heels to match.

As your driver kindly placed your suitcase in the trunk you took off the blazer, folding it neatly beside you. You pressed yourself back into the cool leather seat of the car, shutting your eyes to try and focus. You felt your stomach twisting itself into knots the closer you got to your destination. This was really happening and you dreaded the thought.

After arriving at your hotel you had a few more minutes to spare than expected so you quickly brushed your teeth, reapplied your lipstick and made sure you smelled good, not for his sake you told yourself. Grabbing your bag and laptop, you looked over yourself once more in the mirror, smoothing out your skirt and blazer. You can do this.

Lance had suggested meeting at a restaurant for the interview but you insisted meeting him at your hotel. Not that you were really keen on the idea of him knowing exactly where you were staying but you hoped things might progress faster if you just got right to business, not wanting to make any nostalgic detours if you ventured anywhere else with him. You were also hoping that the buffet area of this lovely Holiday Inn might make him a little uncomfortable, and thus concluding your time together at a much faster rate.

A wicked grin spread across your face as you entered the area. A deep red carpet with a muted gold design spread across the floor with an array of cheap wood tables complimented by green vinyl cushioned chairs surrounded the area. Generic artwork of flowers in vases hung around the room.

You marveled at how the hotel looks lost in an undetermined time, not quite the ‘90s and yet not quite modern either. It was the perfect setting to make Lance Tucker itching to get this over with, as you’d be subjecting the pompous “God of Gymnastics” to the meager value hotel graciously provided by your job.  

Only one table is occupied, by a family of four whose exhausted parents look like they have been drained of their energy and can no longer attempt to calm their rambunctious children. Perfect! You leave a table in between yourself and them, not wanting to be too obvious with your plan. If Lance killed the interview completely maybe there was a shot you could recoup the interview with Neymar. You grabbed two bottles of water, specifically Zephyrhills, Florida’s “unique” tasting water, setting them down on the table, though you wished you could replace yours with Vodka to get through this.

Be short, be curt. Stick to the facts. This is business. Just business, you reminded yourself as you waited for his impending arrival.

Lance had an agenda as well as he had felt the bitter coldness of your words during your correspondence to set up this interview; you had clearly not forgotten the past. Lance hated thinking about that. He threw himself into being the best, gaining the spotlight, seeking the attention of others when deep down he only wanted yours. He spent plenty of nights alone with his thoughts, regretting what he did, what he didn’t do and what he should have done. But that was the past.

His future was uncertain in many ways and he had become too wrapped up with something that weighed heavily on his mind to worry about your hatred of him. So he decided to put on a show, be Lance “The Fucker” Tucker as he was previously regarded. If you continued to hate him that would make this easier, you would write your article on him and he would get the attention he needs for his gymnastics center.

His plan was easier said than done because the moment he caught a glimpse of you sitting at the table, standing out like a diamond amongst dull rocks, he almost broke down. He wanted to run to you, throw himself at your feet and let apologies pour out from his mouth as fast as the tears that threatened to fall.

He moved back, hiding behind a wall as he regained his composure. Remember Lance, remember the plan. He began to sweat, unzipping his blue track jacket to reveal a crisp white t-shirt. He dragged his hand down his face wiping harshly at his skin. Remember. He erased his frown with a cocky smile, putting on his sunglasses, unnecessary for the fluorescent indoor lighting but it helped him hide the truth he might not be able to hide. With his shoulders up and his back stiffened he took a few deep breaths before walking towards you.

Lance strides in confidently, swaying towards the table as his voice catches your attention, “Well, well, well, look who’s back in town.”

Suppressing an eye roll (and a profanity) you bite your tongue, scrunching your nose at the overpowering amount of cologne he wore. Forcing a tight smile you remain seated but gestured for him to join you at the table.

“Thank you for meeting me Mr. Tucker, I–”

“Cut the bullshit Y/N. Let’s get down to why you’re really here,” he smirked.

PART 4