#goes up to a gay couple so which one of you talks about 20th century telegraph poles for 1 hr straight whilst the other

[lucky-draws]

rimsy & listy

[patriciavetinari]

What did you think of Downton Abbey?

I do have thoughts:

As a leftist, it is ridiculous to be expected to care if a british upper class family gets to keep the house/title/money. And the show has an interesting attitude towards itself, where it frequently shows working class people questioning the need for aristocratic lifestyle, but then still presents the aristocratic main cast family as blorbos for the viewer to dote over. Characters calling out the aristocracy are presented as both positive and negative.

However, the show gives its whole game away with one character: Tom Branson. He comes to work for the family as the chauffeur, and expresses interest in Marx, talks about Irish independence and Easter Rising etc. But then he falls in love with his employers daughter and starts viewing aristocracy as people. They run away together and get married, he gets up to some based revolutionary shit in Ireland, although gets soft on individual aristocracy again (feels bad for rich people whose house he saw set on fire). He comes back to Downton Abbey for safety, his wife soon dies in childbirth, he stays to avoid arrest in Dublin and to work in partnership with Crawleys. Working with them smooths off his radical leftist views although in fairness he questions his views and what he has become and laments his radicalism and we see some attempts to go back to politics but not really. He then goes off to America for couple of episodes and as a cherry on top, comes back fully capitalist. His character is incredibly frustrating but encapsulates the overall message I feel: try different things, but drop this radical nonsense and accept capitalism. I did not expect a british show about british aristocracy to arrive anywhere else but still, for a character to wallow in vaguely leftist views for 6 seasons then come back in the finale and say 'yay capitalism' is a little on the nose.

That being said, women in the show are mostly interesting, but as soon as any of them gets too independent and strong, they get married off, and not only that, but they get married into aristocracy (most frustratingly Isabel and Edith).

That being said (2), I really liked that the show included a lot of middle aged and even elder characters building relationships very late in life (Isabel again, and housekeeper with the butler, and mr Moseley with the ladys maid etc). Very heterosexual show.

Speaking of middle aged characters worried about relationships, the episode where the housekeeper was nervous about her body and sexual life and expectations of her future husband was very well written, very relevant, very human and very funny in an endearing and human way.

I feel like in general, the show did a good job showing if not the harsh reality but the Vibes (and technological advances) of early 20th century. It did not handle working class struggle well and with that has become meta illustration of itself, it showed women struggling for their rights and battling internal patriarchy, entire S2 dedicated to WWI topic (and in later seasons coming back to it and heralding WWII), it showed woman struggling with the aftermath of rape, frustrations around british justice system and prejudice towards convicts etc. a lot of deep topics, although of course the show enjoyed itself more showing pompous interiors, debutante balls and all this glamour so the message was overall not powerful.

Thomas Barrow character deserved better but his storyline is interesting and I have contradicting opinions on how his storyline was handled. He is Gay which was illegal at the time show depicts and more and more characters find out and suspiciously few of them make a fuss. Which, on one hand, I find unrealistic that no-one did end up ratting him out, on the other hand, everyone was trying to avoid the scandal for the family and maybe working class people were indeed more ACAB about it. I'm glad they didn't kill him off although I did want to slap him more than on one occasion.

On the third hand, obviously, this is fiction, escapism and the one that tries to rehabilitate british aristocracy at that. Everyone in the end I think is far too kind, polite and tolerant about literally every controversial subject of the time depicted. It is very pleasant to watch now and enjoy nice endings but it's important to remember it's Not Real and british aristocracy Would Not Fucking Say That.

I hate flapper fashion. It has good ideas about fabric and accessories but I hate the silhouette I'm sorry. Those fucking cardigans look bad even on thin people. Mens fashion much better, we truly should bring back 3 piece suits.

I don't get the fandom fuss over Matthew as husband for Mary. Henry is an improvement on every level. The matter of looks is subjective of course but I am also objectively correct on this. Also Goode packs more into five minutes of screen presence that Stevens packs into four seasons of being main cast (or however long he was alive). Also Goode has better chemistry with Dockery (as opposed to zero chemistry with Stevens). Matthew has a punchable face and was mostly annoying as a character. His fucking mother Isabel deserved a better son. The show really attempted to make me go 'I can't wait for those cousins to fuck already'.

Mary Crawley is a blorbo definitely. She is also a punchable asshole but she does make it look sexy. Her and Henry are rendering me Very Bisexual. Especially their interactions (very few and I agree it was rushed but still added up to a better relationship than Matthew).

Dowager Violet is an honorary blorbo.

Lady Grantham should have fucked Richard E Grants character. He seemed like he would be fun in bed and an immense improvement on her husband. I can take him if she doesn't want him.

New Era movie is shit and I've decided to ignore its canon, I will accept no criticism because I am correct.

[freddiekluger]

I am all ears for your season 3 cap's big gay awakening ideas 👀👀

alright, you asked so sit down and strap in

before we get started- a few details are recycled/repurposed from earlier headcanons/ask answers (characterisation is like that), and i came up with all this a couple weeks back, so any overlap with other peoples suggestions is totally unintentional! i’ve just been finding the energy to properly write them up as originally i riffed them with a friend late at night lmao

the captain: homo evolution

introduction (scroll down if you’re not bothered for the hardcore analysis/logic)

this isn’t necessarily what i think WILL happen as much as how i would do it. over the past two seasons of Ghosts, we’ve seen the captain’s main character arc being centred around him loosening up, from learning to value mike, alison, and the other ghosts more as equals than soldiers/means to an end to the season 2 finale, where cap is not only expressing an interest in flowers and fashion (distinctly un-soldierly pursuits) but joining the party and other men (the direct opposite of About Last Night, in which cap bah humbugs partying/’gay abandon’ and is left speechless by the mere presence of a mostly naked man). that being said, the captain is still the captain: his character is still centred around this need for rules and structure and he still finds his identity in the archetypal WW2 military man- all of his incremental moves towards a more ‘modern’ perspective have ultimately been made possible because, like Ben said on twitter, the captain isn’t CONSCIOUSLY aware that he’s gay. he has the underlying feeling that he’s different, he knows of his tendency to attach himself to specific men and form incredibly close bonds (and, as demonstrated by his attempts to hide them, is at least somewhat aware that that’s not the norm), but in his mind he’s written that off as merely “not being a ladies man”. 

the captain is from the 1940s- it’s one thing for him to see and be supportive of a same-gender wedding in present day England where gay=legal unions, marketed doritos, and homophobia being still present but generally frowned upon, and another thing entirely for him to have to apply it to himself. we’ve already seen that the captain appears to be stuck in the past more than any of the other ghosts (”the war is over!” “is it, alison? is it?”- he also references the past more frequently than most of the others), and in his past sodomite gay=punishable by imprisonment and chemical castration, back alley hookups, and the constant threat of blackmail and violence. obviously, despite all this, there was a vibrant underground queer history taking place in England during this time & not all of the above is accurate, but it’s what cap would have seen, and the England of the early 20th century is denoted as being a particularly brutal period for lgbtq+ folks (the destruction of the first world war exacerbated rage and frustration, and lgbtq+ people weren’t the only gorup to end up on the receiving end of that, but i digress). this is basiclly just a really long way of me saying that the captain compartmentalising to that degree was, and to some extent is, a survival mechanism. confronting his homoseuxality means confronting what it means for a 1940s man to be a dreaded homosexual, and all of that directly conflicts with the image of ‘the Captain’ he’s built in his mind. 

we’ve seen this in Redding Weddy, where the captain is aware that Havers means/meant more to him than was normal for a captain/2ic relationship (he does attempts to hide his affection- “i shall miss you, Havers. by which of course i mean we shall miss you “he left me, i mean he left for the front”), but is never able to fully verbalise WHY, and it only takes a series of increasingly dramatic prompts before he will even mention the idea of Havers, let alone begin to articulate their relationship. 

all this just goes to prove that for the captain to properly ‘come out’, there needs to be an external inciting incident- he could easily have gone on shadowing attractive men whenever they visit and avoiding interrogating those feelings for another seventy years if Button house remained without alison and mike. 

while at least julian, pat, and robin have noticed that the cap is not the most heteroseual of men (they’re the only ghosts who have visibly reacted when cap says gay shit), they all appear to have decided to just not mention it, which makes alison and mike our wildcards. not only has alison’s ability to see and communicate with the ghosts already connected them more to the modern world than they ever have been, alison, and mike by extension, has a personal stake in the wellbeing/general growth of the ghosts. happy ghosts=happy house, and like it or not some of them are even beginning to become friends. [i probably didn’t need to write all this like explaining my decisions, but i think figuring out the motivations behind everyon just develops the flavour and lets us have a sexy and accurate headcanon]

so,

the episode

while the captain might not consciously know he’s a fruit (derogatory), he is well and truly terrible at concealing the thirst (it’s not his fault things just keep slipping out!)- i love the idea of just having a supercut near the beginning of the episode that just shows that the captain has gotten even GAYER since last season, with slip ups becoming almost a daily occurence, but it’s getting to the point where it’s actually becoming a serious hazard. last week, he was supposed to be looking out for alison while attempted to put up blinds, but one of mike’s friends (who was over ‘helping out’, which mostly meant eating chips and covering himself in paint) walked through the room with his shirt off and paint handprints on the seat of his shorts, distracting the captain from realising that alison’s stepladder was about to give way. 

with the increased presence of non elderly men in the house (the previous owner wasn’t exactly the life of the party) the captain is getting gayer and gayer, but he’s also becoming more and more defensive, while his brisk demeanour and need for control regresses to much more of a season 1 state (a subconscious attempt to regain control as things get close to spilling over). it’s not the first time his repression has almost slipped, he spent much of his life surrounded by soldiers after all, but with no war and no corporeal body he’s got almost nothing to distract himself from it. needless to say, between the safety hazards and the almost agressive defensiveness which derails any interaction, something needs to be done about the captain.

throughout the week, alison tries to find the opportune time to talk to the captain about what’s going on with him for everyone’s sake, but cap keeps masterfully evading any ‘deep’ talk with willful misunderstanding or just straight up dismissal (which at times gets a bit rude), and alison really doesn’t have the time- her and mike are caught up with managing the first official room redecoration and butting heads with a passive agressive delivery driver. insert general shenangigans, but at some point the captain’s whole “accidentally sabotage something by being distracted and then attack anyone who dares even look at him the wrong way afterwards” act causes alison to exasperatedly blurt out “we all know you’re gay! we get it! you like men! you can drop the act!”. there’s no malice or anything but, as we know, when alison gets run ragged things don’t tend to come out quite right.

everything falls silent (and mike is vaguely confused), and the captain just looks like a deer in headlights. as alison catches her breath, pat pipes up with a “it’s alright, cap, we don’t mind- now we can focus on the task at hand”. the captain sort of regains his composure and once again attempts to brush them all off with a scoff and a “i haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. if any of us is distracted, i-it’s... kitty!” but it’s easy to tell he looks rattled. most of his words don’t come out right, and after trying to blame kitty for their failures (she just had the unfortunate luck of being in his line of sight), he ends up doing an awkward little walk away which quickly turns into a full on sprint. mike, having finished processing alison yelling about gay shit to the air and kind of pieced together what must have happened awkwardly chimes in with “it’s okay to be gay!”- alison just pats him on the back (”yeah no he’s gone, mike.” “gone?” “sprinted away.” “huh”)

the episode continues with the captain flat out avoiding alison and the other ghosts to an almost funny extent as the other plots continue. it takes a bit for alison to realise why the captain reacted so badly (in fact, it’s actually mike who remembers that he’s 1940s ghost- “he’s probably just scared and taking it out on everyone else”). while thomas and julian vote for leaving the captain be so they can have some peace and quiet, fanny/pat/alison/robin decide someone needs to talk to him (fanny surprised everyone but after all, she got murdered because her husband had to live in secrecy- if talking to the captain will avert any further crises, she’s happy to make sure someone else does it for her). kitty’s still upset about being singled out, but she knows better than anyone that sometimes all you need is a friend- cue realisation no. 2.

with the captain avoiding everyone, sending in a regular emissary isn’t going to work. they need to find the least threatening person possible, with no agenda or history other than being there to help (a friend, if you will)- cue everyone looking at mike.

a quick offscreen briefing later, we see mike wandering out to the field where the captain has exiled himself- remember that up until this point, the captain was still in conscious denial about his sexuality, so being forced to confront it head on (and finding out that apparently everyone ‘knew’, which for cap would feel like an intimate invasion of privacy/forced vulnerability) would rattle him to the point of self-exile- he might not be able to run from his sexuality, but he can run from people. the thing is, mike can’t see or hear the ghosts, which means the captain can’t be frightened off by any expectations (mike actually talks to/at cap while facing completely the wrong direction, but consdiering the above point, this works rather well). 

the captain was alternating between pacing, fiddling with his swagger stick, and sitting, but he unconsciously stands to attention as mike wanders over. he’s used to mike not being able to see them, so mike asking to sit down takes him by surprise, disrupting his instinct to flee again.

mike begins a little awkwardly (”mind if i sit?” *silence* “...i’m just gonna assume that’s a no. or is it a yes? yeah anyways i’m just gonna sit. so... heard you’ve been going through a rough patch”), and the captain almost scoffs and wanders off, but something about the clumsy earnestness in mike’s voice, the captain’s vulnerable state, and the fact that it’s been so long since cap has had anyone actually check in on him, that he stays put. he keeps standing and staring away from button house, and mike keeps speaking to the empty air to his left, and alison and the ghosts stay hidden behind their bush a few metres away, but at least the captain is listening. for the first time in weeks, he’s not on the offensive.

“i can’t actually see or hear you, so i’m just gonna talk and assume you’re listening. alison mentioned you have a habit of running away but, um, maybe don’t do that please?”

“my mate daniel's gay. uh, homosexual, you’d probably say- did you have gay when you were alive? did it just mean happy? anyway, he didn’t come out- that means tell people- until he left high school. we all kind of guessed it, the other kids at school gave him a real tough time for it, but he just squashed it down. couldn’t imagine that all the things people were shouting at him were true, so he ignored it. he’s doing good now though. got married to his husband last year, currently runs a bookshop. so that’s nice.”

it goes quiet for a bit. the captain hasn’t moved, and we’re still only seeing shots of him from the back, but there’s a little less tension in his stance than there was before.  mike clears his throat before continuing.

“i’m guessing you’re probably pretty scared right now. i would be- i mean not that you should be, you shouldn’t, but coming from your... situation, i’m guessing it’d be hard. no one’s saying you have to be anything you’re not ready to be, but lots of things that are scary are actually not bad. airplanes, skydiving, clowns- well, not the clown from that movie, but he gives clowns a bad rep- i’m sure there are plenty of lovely clowns out in the world. still give me the creeps though.” the captain makes a captain-y noise of assent about the clown comment- he never liked them either. 

mike glances over to the bush where alison and the ghosts were attempting to listen in (they could only catch every few words- mary got particularly concerned about why mike had referenced clowns), and the captain still hasn’t run away, so alison motions for mike to keep going. he starts telling the captain a story from his uni days. it’s got nothing to do with the captain, or being gay, or self-acceptance, or anything like that- it’s just a standard tale of comedic but inventive problem solving. the captain sits himself down next to mike (to his right, avoiding mike’s gaze, and still staring away from button house), muttering that his legs are getting a bit tired. he sits there for a while, and mike just talks. sometimes he circles back to the gay thing, sometimes he just asks the captain questions, before remembering that he can’t actually hear any answer, but then he keeps asking anyway, thinking that cap might need to talk. he doesn’t at first, but slowly he offers up a word or two. and then a sentence, and then maybe more- mike will accidentally cut the captain off, or leave the silence to long, but the captain doesn’t mind (it’s a nice reminder that nothing he says will actually go on to have consequence). at one point, mike gets out his phone to show the captain photos of his mate daniel and daniel's husband, not just their wedding day but casual photos- couples drinks with him and alison, dinners at each other's places, the bookshop. 

alison and the other ghosts have long gone, and the sun is just about to sink below the horizon by the time the captain stands himself back up with the traditional knee crack and grunt. he looks at mike and nods, giving him a simple thank you before turning to walk (not run) back to button house, head held slightly higher and looking more relaxed than he’s been all episode. the captain has still got a lot to figure out, but at least it’s a start.

[i love the dramatic ending but the implication is that alison has to go and fetch mike bc he has no ideas cap has left and is prepared to keep going lol- also by no means is cap suddenly going to ditch his characterisation and become a yas kween gay right away, i didn’t go into the aftermath bc this is alreayd fucking LONG but let me know if you want follow up????}

EDIT: i've rbed this with the follow up/part 2 attached!

EDIT 2, much later: switched out mike's reference to his 'younger brother' to a school friend, since the christmas special confirmed mike only has sisters and we're all about accuracy here

[insomniziam]

Zigi PR Relationship Analysis

Firstly, I don’t think many people are aware of just how often fake relationships occur in the entertainment industry. They happen all of the time. And it isn’t a new thing, either. It dates all the way back to the early 20th century and what was known as Lavender Marriages, where men would marry women to hide the fact that they were gay. Although the practice has evolved since then, as it’s not necessarily about bearding anymore as it is about attracting attention, whether that be for a movie/tv show/musician/model and create hype around their relationship.

Okay, *cracks knuckles*, onto Zayn and Gigi. Zayn had a lot of people against him for two reasons; abruptly leaving the band and the mess of the end of an engagement to one Perrie Edwards (I haven’t heard that name in a while, LOL). He wanted to release solo music, but because so many people were angry at him he needed a way to distract them, and what better way to do that than a new relationship with an up and coming model who connections to the Karshian/Jenner clan?

A Hollywood publicist who admitted to producing these kinds of relationships had this to say about one of his clients due to a movie that didn’t do so well:

“It was more of a mutual agreement between the agents and we had a male who actually had a movie coming out and it was getting a lot of bad reviews and slack and they wanted to take the negativity of the movie away and make it more about him”

Sound familiar at all? Try swapping at “movie” with “music” and “negativity of the movie” with “recent fandom drama” and bam! You have Zayn Malik circa 2015.

This wasn’t just beneficial to Zayn, either. Hardly anyone outside the US knew who Hadid was, and she had had PR relationships in the past that weren’t all that successful (Joe Jonas and Cody Simpson), so having someone like Zayn who was known world wide thanks to his success with 1D, this would have been a no brainer. And it worked, incredibly well. Everyone was talking about the new up and coming couple and this brought a lot of attention Zayn’s first music video as a solo artist and people outside the fashion realm began paying attention to her. Mission successful. 

There’s a lot more I could say about this couple that definitely raises eyebrows (like the fact that she has pulled similar stunts with Cody in the past, both starring in his music video and couple photo shoots), and if you’d like to go into it, feel free to message me or browse my zigi is fake tag. Or better yet, visit some of the many other ziam accounts that go into a lot more detail than I have in the past. I recommend @yaz-the-spaz​ and @somewhereisaplacethatziamknow​ off the top of my head. But I hope no one goes over there to be rude and disrespectful, because honestly, what’s the point? If you’re trying to change someone’s mind, you’re not going to do it by insulting them and not bringing anything of substance to the conversation. If you ask politely, I would be more than happy to answer, as I am doing here. 

As for your point in regards to how I can look up to someone who would part take in such a stunt I have two responses; he doesn’t like doing it, and he doesn’t have a choice in the matter - that’s just how the industry works. If you look at all the times the paparazzi have “caught” (take this however you want) them leaving that NY apartment. Zayn, and sometimes even Gigi, don’t look like the happy, loved up couple all the articles claim them to be:

I find this one particularly funny because he is holding his own hand and it looks like she just slipped her hand in there for the photo.

And then you have this photo of them finally reconciling in the street conveniently in front of some paps:

He’s not touching her anywhere other than the mouth (look at that starbucks promo lmao), his hands are pockets, and he may have actually missed her mouth:

And in the rest of the photos he looks fed up and barely touches her, if at all:

Remember, this was after they’ve reconciled, and yet he doesn’t look interested her in the slightest.

Even if you think they were an actual couple, this would be an incredibly toxic relationship. They have “broken up and got back together” how many times now? (legitimate question, I have lost count). They paint the narrative like Zayn riddled with mental health problems and Gigi is the only one that can save him, but sometimes, it just gets too much for her:

“A second source explained there was an honest effort to make their second go at their relationship a success. The two “tried hard to make it work,” the source said, but Malik has “a lot of his own issues that she couldn’t help him get through.” 

You could make the claim that this quote is made up, but then I could argue the very same thing about every quote ever made about their relationship. Why would you want to support a couple if this is the way they are portrayed?

And then “Zayn” tweets this when Gigi is rumoured to be dating someone else:

“When lord knows I don’t deserve it” What the hell is that supposed to mean? It’s just honestly so fucking gross no matter which way you look at it. 

As for your question as to why she would have a baby for PR, look at the amount of attention she has gotten over these pregnancy rumours just in the last few days. Imagine if she would begin talking about it all of the time, all the promotional deals she could get. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was tired of modelling and ends up doing YouTube or something full time. 

There is a lot of things that don’t add up with this pregnancy nonsense. Like the fact that she isn’t showing at all despite the fact that, going by the timeline, she is five months along. Not only would she have gotten pregnant immediately after after they apparently rekindled their relationship (which, with her Hashimoto’s disease is incredibly unlikely), but she doesn’t look pregnant in the slightest. That baby is five months along, and is almost completely formed, organs and all. The baby is the size of a mango, and yet her stomach has remained flat this entire time? No growth at all?:

That, and her own father called it gossip. If she has been pregnant for five months at this point, shouldn’t he know that his daughter is pregnant with his first grandchild?

And I will give it to you that she might be drinking decaf, but how about recording yourself horse riding? Not only that, but horse riding in general while you are pregnant is incredibly dangerous to both the baby and the mother’s health:

But as your pregnancy progresses, the risk of serious injury – to you and your baby – increases. If you get thrown from or kicked by a horse after your first trimester, once the baby has moved higher up in the abdomen, there’s little to protect the baby from harm.

What’s more, the jostling motion of horseback riding can increase your risk of placental abruption, a serious pregnancy complication in which the placenta separates from the uterus.

What’s more, is she apparently has Hashimoto’s disease, which makes it incredibly hard to get pregnant in the first place, and can increase the likelihood of a miscarriage. Why would she even want to risk it, given the fact that she already has a high risk pregnancy during a pandemic where healthcare is limited, the likelihood of her getting pregnant is low, and she increases the risk by not even paying attention to the task, but record herself doing so? It doesn’t make a shred of sense. 

There’s so much to this narrative that doesn’t add up. 

Again, I appreciate the civility, and I like being challenged, it gives me a good opportunity to back up my beliefs in evidence, which I believe to be incredibly important.  So if anyone has any other questions feel free to DM or send me an ask.

Disclaimer: Initially this post was a response to someone who responded to an ask I answered way back in April about Gigi’s pregnancy, but was deleted for some unknown reason. I added some parts in to construct a more detailed and accurate analysis.

[emblemxeno]

Interesting to see some semblance of Soleil discourse again. I hated her when i played fates, and was genuinly surprised that people really loved her. Do you think a lot of her shittier aspects were from Fates' shoddy translation, or was she always sort of bad?

Sorry for this taking so long! I figured I might as well make this a sort of definitive post about Soleil since I talk about her a lot, so I put some more research and effort into it than I initially planned.

Soleil’s writing does have a lot of differences between the Japanese version and localization, but I have many, many issues with both.

Japanese Soleil

Soleil in the Japanese version of Fates is, to put it simply, a train wreck. As we know, her defining trait is her love of girls. However, with Soleil it goes past attraction and flirting into outright predatory behavior. 

In many of her Japanese supports, Soleil creeps around girls, be it generic girls off-screen, or her female support partners. She hits on her mother in their support, she plans to sneak behind girls and embrace them out of nowhere in her support with Ignatius, and she harasses Ophelia and planned to get a better look at the latter’s figure in the tents when they switched bodies.

But the absolute worst was her Japanese support with Forrest. 

Basically, she’s chasing Forrest around because she’s convinced he’s a girl, despite him telling her over and over that he isn’t. Soleil is extra creepy in this one, saying things like “I can’t hold myself back anymore” and “I won’t do anything bad, so just give in.” Forrest goes so far as to even compare her to a wild animal stalking its prey.

Forrest then tells Soleil once again that he’s a boy, and what does she do? She asks him to prove it by getting naked and bathing with her. Forrest, of course, refuses again. Soleil then finds out from others around camp that Forrest was telling the truth; but she still can’t keep her urges down and keeps making unwanted advances and touches towards him.

That entire support is extreme sexual harassment. It is one of the worst supports I have ever read, especially since it’s played for laughs and it can later advance into an actual relationship between them. Treehouse did realize how bad this support was, and changed it from the ground up into something completely different, which is one of the very few things I will thank them for.

Now, localized Soleil is another beast entirely. Before going into my issues with her localized version, I’ll explain the context behind her trope.

A History Lesson

Soleil’s character at its core is based on the Class S trope. Class S is a Japanese term describing romantic friendships between girls. It’s origin and popularity is owed to things like western women’s literature (such as Little Women) being translated for Japanese audiences back in the early 20th century and the all-women Takarazuka Revue theater being established; these helped cultivate feelings of sisterhood and a sense of romance for young female audiences, especially since most schools at the time in Japane kept boys and girls separate. While there was a decline in the Class S genre after Japanese schools became more co-ed, it has made a resurgence in popularity ever since the late 90′s with light novels like Maria-sama ga Miteru.

Class S had a rather big impact on Japanese society, where it was actually expected to happen and treated as something wonderful for these kinds of close friendships to develop between young girls.

However. These aren’t treated as real romantic relationships. They’re seen as nothing more than a phase. After adolescence, girls are expected to ‘mature’ or ‘graduate’ in a sense, into a real relationship with a man. To still have Class S relationships with other girls when you’re supposed to be in a “real” relationship is seen as a sign of immaturity.

Soleil Herself

So what does this mean with Soleil? Lots of her supports in Japanese have other characters being bewildered or even annoyed by her continued love for girls, because “she’s technically an adult now, shouldn’t she have grown out of that phase?” 

Shigure gets surprised that she’s trying to learn how to sing to impress girls. F!Corrin wonders why she won’t give up her mindset already. Soleil gets jealous of Asugi’s popularity with girls and childishly tries to imitate him. Sophie says she doesn’t have time for Soleil’s antics because the former is trying to be a mature, devoted knight. Ophelia is frustrated that they can’t be “normal” friends instead of Soleil chasing her around and proclaiming her love.

They treat her obsession/love for girls as something childish for an adult woman like her to still have, much like Japanese society does. Soleil is Class S.

Soleil does actually get a chance to technically grow out of this phase, much like adult women are expected to. She ‘graduates’ into adulthood once she becomes romantically involved with her male romance options in the Japanese version; a “real” relationship.

As a gay man, you can probably guess how I feel about this trope. While it has had impact on helping Japan ease up on its more conservative beliefs and lots of Class S media has been created by actual queer women (like Nobuko Yoshiya), it’s still not a great feeling when same sex relationships are basically treated as not real or just a phase in someone’s life. It sucks, especially when I think the Japanese Rhajat/F!Corrin support is one of best in Fates. But enough about me, what does this have to do with localized Soleil?

Where The Localization Fumbled

Since she was already getting her fair share of controversy thanks to the many incorrect reports of conversion therapy during her support with M!Corrin, Treehouse decided to go the whole mile and rewrite some aspects of her character. This included removing the Class S aspect of her, and adding in a line from Laslow (as well as her roster description) that basically confirms she’s bisexual.

Except... they messed it up. They made her apparently bisexual, but they removed the romantic aspect of almost all of her S supports, all of which are dudes. Instead, most of her S supports result in promises of friendship or partnership of some kind. The only romantic S supports she has in the localization are with M!Corrin because Avatar privilege, and Forrest, which can still kind of be taken as platonic.

This doesn’t make sense. Why go out of your way to make Soleil bisexual, but remove her romantic supports with dudes? Her wlw side isn’t suddenly erased if she were to marry a dude, what’s the deal here? Did two different people have a hand in this and just didn’t communicate? Did one intend to make her a lesbian and the other wanted her to be bi? 

This is a huge inconsistency and fumble on Treehouse’s part, one of their biggest. Hell, besides that, they didn’t even remove all of her creepy aspects either; she still creeps on girls in her Ignatius support (she now plans to pinch them instead of embrace them from behind), and while her support with Ophelia was toned down, it still isn’t great. Why go so halfway on this, especially since she’s the most controversial character in the game?

Conclusion & Overview

So yeah, those are my thoughts about Soleil. Her Japanese characterization is a predatory mess and based on a trope which I am not fond of whatsoever, while her localized characterization is only somewhat better as a person and is plagued by a whole slew of new writing problems because her bisexuality just wasn’t done correctly by Treehouse.

Which honestly? It makes me kind of sad. Soleil has a lot of good things about her. I like her shamelessness, her confidence. Her shyness is basically an inverse of Olivia’s, where the latter is shy all the time except when dancing whereas Soleil is only shy and insecure when dancing; it’s a neat full circle for the entire family line. She has a couple of great supports too, like with Laslow and Kiragi. Her design is adorable, she’s a good unit, female mercenaries are always a plus, and her new voice actress in Heroes is one of my favorites. 

It’s just everything else is... bleh. 

I don’t dislike her as much as I did a few months ago, because looking over her supports again endeared her to me a little, but unfortunately she still has too many things about her that I hate for me to say anything better than that.

[theymakemegayer]

Reputation: Chapter 1

A Poppy x MC (Bea) Fan Fiction

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Romance

Description: Thoughts floated relentlessly, until a thought of you found me. Poppy Min-Sinclair. Oh hells. All I want this morning was to make my days here fun. What have I gotten myself to? 

Foreword: My own take towards Poppy Min-Sinclair’s character. Come and indulge in my journey as I explore writing Poppy’s character. The plot is inspired with Queen B, but in this short story, I will challenge myself to let Poppy’s character grow into something we wished had/can/will happen.

This is a short story that will contain a few chapters. 

For any TW or M rating, it’ll be announced for every chapter if there will be one.

**********************

It was a sunny day, so I decided to stroll around the luxurious campus of Belvoire University before classes start tomorrow. Everything still felt foreign to me. From my daily life living in a small town – all of a sudden I need to get used to being surrounded by towering and luxurious building in this city.

 It was still peaceful not until I started to notice the glances and murmurs the people around me are giving me.

 I tried not to show in my facial expression how their whispers and looks irritated me. Is something wrong with my clothes? Deciding to ignore them I continue with my stroll.

 “I AM GOING TO LOSE IT!” A high pitched shriek cut through quietness. At the picnic table my eyes landed on a platinum blonde hair girl sitting. She spoke again, her irritation towards the terrified girl evident. The terrified girl tried to reason out, but before she can finish the blonde girl cuts her off. I stared at them open mouthed. Is this how people here behave?

 Just then the blonde girl notices me. She swivelled, her lips curled into a smirk.

 “What the hell does a basic, tasteless – nobody like you looking at?”

 I tried to play nice, but her tone and rudeness irritated me. Raising an eyebrow I talked back, “Oh hell no. You can’t talk to people like that.”

 My parents, even though we didn’t came from a wealthy family – they taught me to treat other people with respect, but they also taught me to not let people step on me.

 “Who do you think you are anyway?” I crossed my arms in front of me as I asked her.

 “I’m Chloe St. James, and I’m ranked no. 2 here. How dare you talk back to me?”

Ranked number 2? What is she talking about? I was about to retaliate when someone beat me into speaking first.

 “Oh sweetheart, you don’t have to worry about who she is. But you should worry about who I am.”

 The crowd parted as she walked into the scene. My eyes finally landed on another blonde girl. My breath hitched. Oh… wow. She’s stunning, this spells trouble to me. I realized how the crowd goes dead silence. I dared to meet her eyes, slowly her lips curled into a smirk making me gulped.

 “And I’m about to become your first and last memory of Belvoire University.” She continued. I stare at her as she talked back to Michael. They mentioned something about ‘The T’ – what is that?

 “I’d rather ask about her shoes. They’re kind of cute, for something pulled from the dumpster.”

 I raised my eyebrow. This gorgeous girl had a sharp tongue. I took a step towards her. She glared at me as I continue to eliminate the distance between us. Once I was in front of her – so close our faces inches apart - I crossed my arms in front of my chest, holding her glare – looking and searching in the depth of those brown eyes.

 “My shoes?” I paused gauging her reaction at our closeness. I swear I saw her breath hitched for a second before scowling at me. “Should I be devastated you don’t like my footwear?” I continued not letting my eyes slipped away from her face.

 She chuckled humourlessly taking a step back then clapping slowly, “A nobody like you won’t last five minutes here at Belvoire.”

 I smirked, “Sorry to break your bubble Poppy, but I love challenges. Friendly advice,” I winked at her and beamed, “Take a seat and watch me, Ms. Min-Sinclair.”

 Suddenly I felt a tug on my wrist. “Bea! There you are! Look at the time. We need to go.”

 “Wha-“

 Before I can protest or something I was being pulled. We only stopped once we entered a dorm room.

 “Sorry to pull you out like that.” She started to apologized. “If I hadn’t step up who knows what Poppy might say or do.”

 “It’s alright. I was just caught off guard.”

 “I’m Zoey, by the way. Your roommate, and this is our dorm room,” we shook hands.

 “It’s nice to meet a gorgeous lady like you, Zoey.” I said making her laugh.

 “You’re not so bad yourself Bea.”

 “So…” I spoke, “Can I ask you questions I’m dying to know ever since I walked into the campus?”

 “Shoot.”

 “What’s The T? And what’s the deal with Poppy and those people?”

 “The T is the school’s gossip blog.” She started to explain.

 “What? It sounds like some Gossip Girl wannabe site?”

Zoey chuckled. “You’re quite funny Bea, but yeah it might sound like that, but The T is big here. And they have a popularity ranking system which you should know.” She showed me her phone. Poppy was standing a top, while I’m at the bottom of the rank.

 “Okay that is some kind of shitty system?”

 Zoey sighed, “Tell me about it, but because of that ranking system those in top of the rank acts more entitled like they’re some kind of celebrity, but truth is they are way worse than celebrities. You saw Poppy and her minions walked around the school like they own everything and acts like it is okay to be rude and to bully anyone they want.”

 “I did saw that. I first hand encountered that too.” I sighed quietly, “Can’t believe an angelic face like Poppy can have so much bite in her attitude, and it’s not pretty at all. What a waste.”

 Zoey stared at me long and hard. “Don’t tell me you’re having a crush on Poppy?”

 “Wh-what are you talking about?” I panicked.

 “Oh God, no. Bea I don’t mind if you are gay, but as your new friend, please make sure you protect your heart. She’s a devil in disguise of an angelic face human. I hate people like her.”

 “I-“

 “Promise me Bea.” Zoey held both my hands looking into my soul.

 I swallowed the lump in my throat, “Okay…”

 *****

Zoey and I decided to celebrate our first day of being roommates and to unwind after that stressful encounter with Poppy in this Speakeasy in Soho. We were lounging at the far corner enjoying our drinks when she spoke.

“Hey Bea, I’m kinda curious about something.”

 “Hmm?”

 “I hope you’re not offended with it though.”

 I chuckled, “Spit it out already Zo.”

 “I did read quite an information about where you came from because of The T, but how did you manage to pay the bills for the school’s tuition fee you know specially how expensive it is here?”

 “Ah, so that’s what you are curious about.”

 Zoey suddenly hides her face in her hands. “Sorry it’s an offensive and embarrassing question.”

 “It’s alright Zoey.” I took her hands away from her face.

 “I’d like to think you are my friend now and I don’t mind you asking me things like this.”

 Zoey exhaled in relief, “Whew, thank you Bea.”

 “Well to answer your question, my family is a caretaker of a ranch in my hometown. Ever since I was a kid I remember growing up on that ranch, so the owner really trusts us for so many years already. They offered to pay for my tuition fee with the condition to maintain a good grade.”

 “Oh like a scholarship?” Zoey interrupted.

 “Yeah, you can say that.”

“Sorry for interrupting you, please continue.” She said shyly.

  “They believed that I have so much potential since I had been a straight A student since I was a kid. They’re really generous and kind towards my family. Imagine how naïve and shock I am to encounter someone like Poppy a while ago.”

  Zoey frowned, a pout on her lips, “My poor Bea.”

 I chuckled, “I guess there are really different types of people huh.”

 Suddenly a drink arrived at their table.

 “You have anyone in mind where this came from?” Zoey asked eyeing me and the drink.

 I smirked. “Oh, I have. Let me go to her for a minute Zo. I’ll be back.”

 I walked towards the bar where the gorgeous lady from a while ago was clearly anticipating for me to come back. Her eyes glint a small smile in her lips.

 “Thought you’d never come back.”

 “And miss the opportunity to see your face again?”

 She chuckled. “Come sit with me?” The glint in her eyes never fades.

 I sat beside her our knees almost touching. I haven’t really dated a lot of woman in my hometown which is Farmsville. Even though we are now living in the 20th century I can’t say that Farmsville had been liberated with same sex couple. I’m a little bit nervous in the presence of this woman, but as I stare in her eyes – like a magnet something pulled me towards her.

 The next thing I knew I was kissing Ina. Why does New York City have too many sexy and gorgeous ladies? I’m weak for that. I felt her hands circling around my waist. Her lips peppering kisses on my jaw towards my ears before she whispered, “Want to stay the night with me?”

 At that moment my phone rings. I slowly pushed her back – the spell and of magic of our kiss dissolved with it.

 “Sorry I have to take this.”  It’s Zoey.

 “Hi Zo.”

 “Bea, where are you? Can we go home now?”  I look at Ina, her gaze making my knees weak. Thank God, I am sitting right now. I contemplated.

 “Bea?”

 “You still there at our table?” I asked her.

 “Yeah.”

 “Okay, wait up for me.” I can see the disappointment in Ina’s eyes.

 As I hang up the call I smiled apologetically at Ina, “I’m sorry, but I need to go.”

 “Well Ms. No Name you clearly know how to make a woman want you.”

 I laughed before I tap her nose, “Something tells me we’ll see each other soon, Ina.” I stood up.

 “Crazy, but I guess I’ll trust that gut feel of yours cause I feel the same way.” She smiled.

“See you soon, Ina.” I winked before leaving her.

******

As I was lying awake in bed. The adrenaline from what happened today washing away from me, but my mind was still high. Thoughts floated relentlessly, until a thought of you found me. Poppy Min-Sinclair.

 Thoughts of our first encounter flashed by; and so thoughts of what I promised with Zoey passed by too.

 Oh hells. All I want this morning was to make my days here fun. What have I gotten myself to?

*****************

author’s note: please feel free to tag people who wants to read a poppy x mc fanfic.

[ronbegleyformayor]

So this is going to be a long post—your question gets to the larger topic that is episode 100. Also to anyone reading this I would appreciate if you took a minute or two to read the whole thing—I purposefully waited a while to respond to this so my response would come across as measured as possible.

So anyone plugged into queer theory and media has probably heard of the term “bury your gays”. It’s a trope that goes at least as far back as lesbian pulp fiction novels from the early 20th century, and for a number of reasons that I’m not remotely qualified to comment on the trope has persisted into modern media. As the name implies, bury your gays is the implicit belief that for a story about gay people to end correctly, usually one or both members of a gay couple are killed before the it ends. Whether intentional or not, the trope is rooted in the idea that gay couples are not supposed to be together, that queer love is a temporary fantasy that must be righted by the end of the story. A weird kind of offshoot of this is the causing of gay characters to suffer through loneliness or separation from a partner, and it comes from the underlying idea that gay=alone. Frequently this manifests in queer characters feeling that they have to choose between family and friends and the “"gay lifestyle”“ when in reality those two things frequently are not mutually exclusive. A subset of this trope is featuring a gay character (or frequently the partner of a more-established gay character) as possessed by some form of “evil” to emphasize which side of the temptation is “correct” and which isn’t.

I’m guessing you can see what I’m teeing up here, so I’ll just add as a caveat that most writers (especially straight writers) do not necessarily agree with the homophobia behind these tropes, nor is it (usually) their intent to perpetuate negative stereotypes about gay people. That being said the legacy of this trope is alive in a lot of media, and intentional or not: gay people suffering is entrenched in how we think about writing them.

Now to be extra clear, I’m not (necessarily) saying this is what King Falls is doing. So far the writing of queer themes and homophobia has been nuanced and has avoided a lot of the pitfalls that have come to be expected, but I would also be lying if I didn’t say episode 100 didn’t rub me the wrong way, and for a couple of specific reasons, too.

For me what that boils down to is characterization and timing.

Let’s talk about characterization first.

Just think about this for a second: what do you know about Jack Wright? No really, can you name anything beyond the bare minimum of characteristics? He’s a journalist and radio host, has a belief in the paranormal, and loves Sammy. He has a sister and a fiancé, has black hair and brown eyes, and plays rugby. I can’t think of a single other concrete fact we’ve learned about him specifically, and being generous like less than half of the things on that list don’t directly have to do with Sammy. Now we could extrapolate bits of his personality based on the two very short clips we’ve ever heard of him and from what’s implied by Sammy and Lily, but that’s also kind of the point: everything we know about Jack Wright is almost exclusively based off his sister and his fiancé, both of whom are anything but unbiased. Did you notice how Lily trashed Sammy and Jack’s radio show in the first King Falls Chronicles but then went on to call Jack smart and prolific in his field like five minutes later? It’s a(n understandable) level of cognitive dissonance for someone who was going through the difficult process of grieving. Both Sammy and Lily are biased sources of information because both care very deeply for Jack. On it’s own that really isn’t a problem—in fact I would say it’s an opportunity for an interesting bit of narrative contrast between the perception of Jack and the reality of when we actually get to meet him.

That at least was my opinion.

Instead we have this ”“dark”“ version of Jack, a lover just out of reach who’s trying to tempt Sammy into leaving his family and friends for the “freedom” of the void. This is a situation that, if I’m being honest, has some homophobic tinges, and hearing the dialogue played out the way it was kind of made my stomach turn (and not in the fun, scared-to-death at 3AM way I’m used to).

Now please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t think this is what the writers were intending, nor do I think that there is anything necessarily wrong with having a normally good character occupy a “bad guy” role. When done correctly it can be interesting and compelling, and help tease out different aspects of a character or relationship dynamic. The issue isn’t that we’re seeing a “bad” version of Jack, the issue is that a. the specific wording of his interaction made my homophobia alarm bells go off, and more critically b. this “bad” version of of Jack is the only true version of him we know. Having him in a “bad” role outside his norm would be interesting if we actually had a real-time, in-person Jack with which to compare him. We might have a constructed idea of who he is from descriptions of biased sources close to him or tapes that are probably a decade old, but we only need to hear from this ”“shadow”“ Jack two more times and it’ll be more times than we’ve heard even recordings of the real Jack.

Emily, for example, had a baseline character established before her abduction. We got to know her as a character before she went missing, so when we eventually saw her as a different version of herself, we had a baseline understanding of how she typically acts in a situation, which is something we just don’t have with Jack.

Also, do you notice how Jack never directly spoke to Lily? He talked about her, but never to her, and can we take a moment to appreciate the gravity of that moment? Jack (or whatever was controlling him) had the opportunity to lure one of the four members of the "named” in the prophecy in the book, and instead of choosing his sister, the person he has known for his entire life and the only flesh and blood family with whom he’s in contact, and he chose to lure Sammy instead, to make Sammy choose between a gay relationship and the support system he’s built up.

Can you understand why this kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth? It feels a little like the “love the sinner” (Jack), hate the sin (being “bad”, trying to make Sammy have to decide between romance and a family), and that’s an adage that queer people tend to get tired of really quickly.

Again, because I really don’t want to be misunderstood, I don’t think this is what the writers intended; in fact I’m guessing the thought probably never even crossed their minds. But at the end of the day that’s kind of the point: if you’re going to make a show that subverts homophobic tropes (which I will readily say that they have done up until this point), you have to make sure not to accidentally fall into any of them yourself.

This leads me into my other issue with the episode: the timing.

My opinion toward the show right now would be considerably less harsh if this was not the last episode before a hiatus. I’m not saying the show can’t take breaks, but ending after this episode specifically? We are left with a very specific image of who Jack is, and exactly what kind of influence he has on Sammy. We’re left with the impression that Sammy has to choose between his found family and a gay relationship, and just to put icing on the cake we’re being told there is going to be another hiatus, prolonging the suffering of a character who has been through quite a lot already.

If this wasn’t the episode before a hiatus, I wouldn’t be as unhappy because we would have more immediate reactions to what had happened. We would have the four of them discussing it in detail. Maybe we even would have gotten a chance to hear Sammy himself say that this wasn’t Jack, and even get to hear more detail from him about who Jack is, if not what we heard. Maybe we would have actually gotten to see them get a step closer to getting Jack back instead of now knowing that the void has been opened, and we have to wait for another few months to see if the gay characters will ever get something even resembling a happy ending.

But we didn’t get any of that. Instead we got a cold, empty laugh that I haven’t been able to get out of my head since.

This isn’t to say that the show is headed in a bad direction. I think because this was not the intent that there is still plenty potential for things to stay on the rails. But what it looks like from here is that we are just continuing to prolong the suffering of the gay couple that sits at the emotional heart of the show’s main plotline. I’m just getting to a point where I’m starting to lose faith that we will see anything but it.

also huge thanks to @calebmichaels and @deputytroy. a lot of these points were the distillation of conversations between us, and if you think that I made a particularly interesting point at all in this post, it was probably their idea, not mine.

[belphegor1982]

And Tom and Jon, 31

(EDIT: urgh, sorry, Tumblr is stupid and won’t put the “keep reading” at the right place. So this is a long post. Sorry again :S)

(“flowers” it is, then!) This is set just at the end of the Christmas holidays, after Jonathan returns from home. Our two lads have acknowledged that what they have is more than a couple of friends having fun; they did the do, they said the words, and they’ve come to terms with that. Now if they could only find a beard girls to (pretend to) flirt with to hide the fact that they love each other 🤔

(which is how you get this: fluff! idiots in love being idiots! and proof that Tommy does have his share of chancy ideas, as well :D)

Lost in Translation

“Flowers?” Jon repeats, sounding a little suspicious. Tommy nods enthusiastically.

“Yeah, flowers! My cousin Annie and her husband sent each other flowers at least twice a week before they got married. She said each one had a special meaning and they had whole conversations without even sendin’ each other letters. Apparently flowers have a ‘language’.”

“That does ring a bell, yes,” Jon says, still squinting in that way he has when he thinks someone is trying to put one over on him. “It’s not a language I speak, though. And you’re proposing, what – giving flowers to random girls in the hope that they’ll stop long enough to talk?”

Tommy shrugs.

“Why not? At the very least it might make them smile. And it’ll make a good talkin’ point.”

There is no rejoinder, only a warm puff of air against the skin of his chest as Jon gives a snort. He does appear to think it over, though. After all, if they’re going to find girls they can pretend to court – which is the whole point of this conversation – anything that can help is welcome.

“All right,” says Jon finally. “What do we want to ‘say’, then?”

“Well, I was thinkin’ carnations, mostly. They’re supposed to be about, er, fascination, admiration, that sort of thing. The white ones are a symbol of innocence, I think.”

“Hm.”

Jon’s hand, which for the past few minutes was splayed on Tommy’s chest, shifts as he caresses the skin with the back of his fingers.

“We usually wear white carnations as boutonnières,” he points out with a small smirk that somehow manages to look thoroughly wicked. “How ‘innocent’ do you think that makes us?”

It’s Tommy’s turn to snigger. No amount of white carnations could make Jon look innocent. Even when he has neither said nor done anything reprehensible, he still gives the impression of being up to something.

“Not very. But that’s the thing about symbols – it’s all in the eye of the beholder, so to speak.”

“How very true.” Jon thinks for a bit, fingers still moving idly. “Look at green carnations. Sweet little flower, perfectly innocuous colour, but anyone who wears one at his lapel might get odd looks at best and probably a nasty encounter with the more savvy members of the constabulary at worst.”

“Why’s that?” asks Tommy, curious.

“Let me put it this way: if I were interested only in chaps and looking for a way to advertise that fact without, y’know, advertising it, I could resort to wearing a green carnation at my lapel.” Jon pauses, lays a kiss just under Tommy’s collarbone, and adds, “Of course I’d have to be a bit desperate, considering the risks.”

He raises his eyes to Tommy’s, smiling that little smile of his, almost a smirk if it weren’t for the warmth. His expression is clear: I’m glad I don’t have to.

So is Tommy. He’s just had a week to ponder the fact that he actually said “I love you” for the first time, and he doesn’t regret it now any more than he did then. And it seems that Jon, for all that he looks a little frayed around the edges sometimes since the beginning of the Christmas holidays, doesn’t regret saying it, either.

If pretending to flirt means he gets to keep what they have, then by God Tommy Ferguson is going to flirt.

* * * *

Of course, when the next day Jon disappears then reappears with a dozen carnations and a grin like the cat that got the cream, Tommy starts to have creeping doubts regarding this whole operation.

“Where did you get those?” he asks, suspicious.

“You told me you didn’t want me to put more money than you into this endeavour of ours, didn’t you? Well, good news! You don’t have to pay one bob.”

Tommy’s jaw drops.

“Jon, for God’s sake – did you steal those?”

“No, I did not.”

Tommy stares at Jon until he squirms just a little.

“I picked them,” he says pointedly. “There’s a difference. Stealing would imply they were someone else’s property.”

They probably were, but Tommy knows better than to ask. Except –

“Did anyone see you?”

“Who do you take me for, some bloody amateur?” says Jon, sounding scandalised. “The Parks are quite empty at seven in the morning. Besides, I was careful, you know – only picked one flower every three or four. Not even the Superintendent’s going to notice. Shall we go?”

Go they do, but eastwards, towards the Water Meadow. Tommy isn’t too keen on setting foot in the University Parks while the flowerbeds look like they’ve been pillaged, and Jon, in an uncharacteristic display of sense, isn’t in a hurry to show his face there.

Unfortunately, when at the end ofthe day they compare their respective tallies, it becomes obvious that something is not quite right. Not only they both failed to get a single name, let alone a rendezvous, but most of the girls who stopped long enough to look at the flowers they were offered strode off in a huff.

Which means that the flowers Jon picked (in other words, stole) wither and become quite unfit for gifts by the day after.

That evening, at hall, Tommy and Jon both stare glumly into their mushy peas.

“I don’t understand!” says Tommy at some point, fork clattering on the table. “What kind of girl doesn’t like being handed flowers?”

“The local kind, evidently,” Jon mutters into his palm. It’s terrible manners, propping your elbow on the table and your chin in your hand, but it’s informal hall and they’re too despondent to care.

‘Darling’ Darlington – one of the few first-years who stayed in college for the entire vacation – looks at them curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“We thought we’d take advantage of the holidays to find company of the female persuasion.” Jon doesn’t miss a beat. He doesn’t even take his chin off of his palm. “No offence to you chaps, but a man needs a bit of variety once in a while.”

This is said matter-of-factly, like a truth universally acknowledged. Meanwhile, Tommy feels Jon’s foot nudge his ankle under the table, and he grins into his glass.

Darling nods wisely.

“That’s only natural. I wish you the best fortune. But where do flowers come into it?”

“I thought we could use the ‘language of flowers’,” says Tommy, who is fully prepared to shoulder the blame for the apparent failure. “We got a bunch of carnations to give girls, to convey admiration and all that, but all we got was glared at.”

“I see.” Darling eats a bit of his beef, swallows, and asks, “And what colours were your carnations, if I may?”

“Yellow, mostly,” Jon replies. “Some had stripes. Why?”

The bark of laughter Darling lets out makes the whole table turn to look at them.

“Because,” Darling says with barely-restrained mirth, “yellow carnations convey disdain and rejection, and the striped ones mean refusal. You spent a day telling every girl you met that you despised them and couldn’t be with them.”

Tommy and Jon both open their eyes wide, stare at each other, and groan.

“Oh, bloody hell.”

“Which flowers should we have used, then?” asks Tommy just a little desperately.

Darling puts down his fork and counts off, still grinning, “Let me see… Pink roses for grace, gardenias for secret love, chrysanthemums for joy and optimism – only not the yellow ones, that’s ‘slighted love’…”

“I think I’ll stick to English to speak to girls after all,” says Jon flatly. “Fewer risks of misunderstandings that way.”

Darling’s eyes are twinkling in a way that says he’s finding their misadventure a lot funnier than they do, but at least he makes no further comment.

“Well,” says Tommy as they file out of the hall after dinner, “there goes my idea.”

“It wasn’t a bad idea,” Jon insists, which makes Tommy smile, because if he knows Jon at all at least half of that isn’t a lie. “The execution needed work, that’s all. Doesn’t mean we’re all that hopeless.”

“I know.” Tommy’s mind strays to the wilted carnations they’re going to have to get rid of somehow and he says, “No more stealing flowers to give to girls, though. We’ll find something else.”

Jon agrees, the matter is closed, and they’re off to the pub.

* * * *

A few days later, after the start of term, Tommy takes two minutes between class and a late morning shift at the Turf Tavern to drop into his hamper a few dirty collars, cuffs, and drawers he forgot in Jon’s room. Just as he’s about to run out, however, he notices his bed is slightly unmade.

Slightly, but in a very conspicuous way.

Tommy makes to fold the covers properly, but stills when he spots something that sticks out from under the pillow.

And laughs.

It’s a sheet of paper, folded in two, in which lie two flowers, neatly pressed: a gardenia and a green carnation.

Three hours later, at the end of his shift, Tommy is still smiling like an idiot.

__________

A boutonnière in English is the flower a man can wear at the lapel of his jacket. (In French it’s a buttonhole. *shrug*)

Oscar Wilde, trailblazer and trendsetter that he was, wore a green carnation on his lapel, and it became a symbol for gay men from the late Victorian age well into the 20th century.

I’ll work on your TF2 ASAP! :o)

[ckret2]

do you think alister if he even has any kind of preference (he could be sex repulsed and all) would have that old 'its not gay if you're the one fucking the other man' mentality (round about way of asking for the same post you made for pen but. for the radio demon)

No, no, see, this isn’t the same as the question I answered earlier at all. The question I answered earlier was “do you think Sir Pent tops or bottoms?” (technically, the “question” i answered was “pen is a bottom” and my answer was “INTERESTING! NO.”) But the question you’re asking is “do you think Alastor defines a person’s sexuality by their sex acts rather than by the people that person is attracted to?” with a side helping of “do you think Alastor has any sexual preferences at all or is he 100% sex repulsed?”

“Which acts does the character think ‘count’ as gay” has no inherent correlation to “which acts does the character enjoy engaging in.” You see the difference. For them to be the same question, we’d have to start off the question by assuming that what acts the character is okay with engaging in is determined by whether or not the character thinks those acts are gay. Conflating what they think is gay with what they’re okay with doing implies that you’re assuming a whole lot about that character’s personality, how much internalized homophobia that character is dealing with, and how fragile that character’s sense of masculinity is, and I’m pretty sure you don’t actually want to imply any of that!

So if you want me to answer the same question I answered earlier, then come back and ask that question, not a roundabout version of the question that’s in fact a very, VERY different question. In the meantime, I’m going to answer the question that you actually asked: “do you think Alastor has 'it’s not gay if you’re penetrating’ beliefs about sexuality?”

The tl;dr is: big shrug, I dunno. Seems possible based on what little I DO know about the time period but I don’t know enough yet. Also if anyone happens to have resources on queer life/history in 1920s New Orleans, like, please chuck them at me.

Essay below!! Hey tumblr you’d better let the read more cut work, don’t let me down.

As it happens, I’ve actually been trying to figure out how sexuality was viewed roundabouts the 1920s in New Orleans—because I figure Alastor’s views have probably evolved very little since then. I get the impression that he’s very set in his own era; and because he’s sort of in a social bubble—who’s going to try to get close to the Radio Demon?—and doesn’t engage much with current mass media, he’s more or less shielded from evolutions in modern culture.

(Compare that to, say, Angel, who sounds very modern—or Charlie, who’s at least a couple of centuries old (probably much more) but also dresses and acts very modern.)

So whatever he thinks about sexuality is going to be rooted in whatever was current when he was alive.

The 20s were actually surprisingly good to queer folks, from what I’ve found so far—there was some VERY gay vaudeville & jazz tracks coming out—but like, I don’t know exactly how good, relatively speaking. Or where. Was it, like, only New York? And/or only San Francisco? I’ve got next to no sources on what was going on in New Orleans. The ONLY fact I’ve been able to find from the era so far is that 1933—the year of Alastor’s death—is the year the first gay bar opened in New Orleans (or, at least, the first one that’s still open today—it relocated but it’s still going). But that doesn’t tell me a lot about the overall environment. All it tells me is “New Orleans wasn’t so homophobic that the bar was burned down immediately, and/or they kept it too secret for that to happen.” That’s not a lot to go on.

And all of this is, like, the level of mainstream tolerance/acceptance toward queerness. It doesn’t tell me what people actually believed then.

Here’s a paragraph on late-1800s/early-1900s psychological beliefs about queerness that are hella outdated today: one contemporary belief about sexuality called “sexual inversion” basically said that a queer person’s brain was “inverted” gender-wise from the norm—that is, for instance, if you’re AMAB and attracted to men, you’ve got a feminine brain, you’ll like to do feminine things, you’ll want to perform feminine sex acts (ie, be the recipient in anal sex), and you’ll probably want to have a feminine body. Basically it conflated being gay and being trans. On the other hand, if you’re AMAB and you’re attracted to a feminine AMAB “invert,” you’re more or less still straight, because you’re attracted to someone with a feminine brain so like that’s more or less a woman psychologically speaking. By modern standards this whole framework is very “oh yikes” but like… ours probably will be seen as cringy in 50 years; and psychologists who believed in sexual inversion generally advocated in favor of letting inverts live in alignment with how their brains told them to, which was a big step forward.

So that was a theory going around. But like, how widespread was it? I know a book about lesbian inverts was written in the late '20s to try to make the term more widespread but idk whether it succeeded or to what extent. Was it a term ONLY being used in psychiatric circles and a handful of people who picked up the book? Was it restricted to certain metropolitan centers? If you went to a drag ball, did people introduce themselves as inverts? (Did they have drag balls? I know they did in mid-Victorian England but that doesn’t tell me much about what was being done in 1920s USA, much less New Orleans.)

And as far as I can tell, the idea of “sexual inversion” was the first time that a framework was presented in Western society where queerness was presented as something inborn rather than a choice people make to go screw someone they “shouldn’t” screw. There was a shift around the 20th century from “gayness is an action that you perform, people can perform the act or not perform the act but they’re basically all the same on the inside” to “gay is something that you ARE, on the inside,” but WHEN exactly did gayness shift from an action to an identity? And when did that shift happen in New Orleans? Knowing when it happened in NYC or some shit isn’t gonna do me any good if, say, it didn’t happen in NOLA for another two decades.

So like obviously I need to find a lot more research on queer history in that region and decade before I can give a super firm answer about what Alastor’s opinions/beliefs are.

I’m toying with the idea that Alastor did spend some of his life in NYC, though; like, he didn’t just casually pick up a Mid-Atlantic accent on the streets of Nawlins. He might’ve picked it up from talkies—although he would’ve had to spend a LOT of time at the movies studying specifically to copy the accent. I know the Mid-Atlantic accent was big in theater, but was that also the case in NOLA, or only in New England? Were there, like, traveling Broadway shows then like there are today? I’m inclined to believe that Alastor actually studied theater at some point in order to pick up the accent, which probably means going to some theater school in the northeast. We know he was into theater, being trained as an actor before going into radio makes sense to me. (He also could’ve learned it at a fancy expensive private school, but I prefer headcanoning him as from a lower background than that.) So maybe he spent some time living in NYC before going back home to NOLA, so if I really really can’t find anything on 20s NOLA I can focus research on NYC instead and say “he picked up his opinions there.” That’s my plan B.

I know that, WHATEVER the 20s NOLA queer community was like, I want to headcanon Alastor was sort of in it but also sort of on the fringes of it—like, due to his very conspicuous (conspicuous to himself) lack of normal/expected attraction to the people he knew he was “supposed” to be attracted to, he sort of felt a draw to the company of other folks who were conspicuously not attracted to who they were “supposed” to be—but he never really felt super deep ties to that community because, one, he just naturally forms very shallow relationships in the first place, and, two, he wasn’t hanging out in queer spaces looking for a relationship or a date or an opportunity to express some hidden side of himself so much as he was looking for a place where he wasn’t being weighed down by The Mainstream Expectations. But you can still be weighed down, albeit to a lesser extent, by The Counterculture Expectations, too. So, he was comfortable enough in queer spaces, but remained just sort of on the edges—was probably recognized by sight by other folks in NOLA who frequented queer events but wasn’t anyone’s best friend. Kinda shows up and makes small talk and goes home.

So, what sort of opinions and beliefs would he have absorbed from those edges? And how would they have been influenced by his own ace/aro perspective, from which ALL talk of sex and romance, whether queer or straight, is a foreign perspective that he could intellectually learn about but not ever really FEEL on an instinctive/gut level the way allo folks do?

I don’t know yet. Gotta find the right research materials first!

So tl;dr anon I don’t know yet whether he thinks taking it up the ass makes someone gayer than putting it in the ass.

[migleefulmoments]

Protip: It’s all in the details of the article- READ the entire piece before using it as evidence of your fantasy

The “newbie” ccer is taking well to her new position and seems to have read the cc handbook thoroughly. She’s using confirmation bias like a champ, basing her belief on the all-important “something seems off when I look at pictures of Darren and Mia” hence they must be fake and ignoring important details in articles that sound like they prove cc tropes are real but upon actually reading them, they fall far short or even prove their tropes are made up lies. Today she posted a 3-year old piece from Huffpo Canada about an E show called The Arrangement which told the thinly-veiled story of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes marriage. A few years after the Tom Cruise-Nicole Kidman divorce, Scientology leader David Miscavige decided Tom needed a wife and “auditioned” several Scientology-approved women before landing on Katie. They had a whirlwind romance that played out across the world and married soon afterward. Tom had a Scientology handler-his sister- with him at all times during this process. Tabloids had long speculated on this and Leah Remini’s Scientology documentary series confirmed it. The wedding was basically arranged and fake on some level but that wasn't because of anyone in Hollywood. It was because David Miscavige is a ruthless leader of the “church”. He runs the organization like a mob boss. If you haven't watched Leah’s show I highly recommend it. It’s hard to believe the shit that goes down but after dozens of people tell very similar stories you begin to realize it’s a very scary cult run by an evil man who doesn’t care who he hurts or tortures as long as he maintains power and brings in millions of dollars. People literally have to escape in the middle of the night and many are caught by teams whose job it is to chase down escapees. 

The article is HERE (X).

awesome-fanfictionada Here’s a great informative article about faux-weddings and faux-mances. I so wish they had auditioned like for Cathy Holmes. Or that it only had lasted 12 days.

But anyway, I know I have to trust my guts cause that day T/om C/ruise went to jump on O/prah’s couch I knew that something was fake. As I do now. (Funny how I had completely erased TC’s fake marriage, maybe cause I really dislike him).

Everyone’s whatthefuck-’meter went off when Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch.  

The article says:

The concept of the Hollywood contract relationship, otherwise known as a “fauxmance” or “promance,” dates back to the studio system of the early 20th century. Actor Rock Hudson’s 1955 marriage to secretary Phyllis Gates was famously arranged by the actor’s agent, Henry Wilson, in an effort to hide Hudson’s sexual orientation from the public. Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn had audiences convinced of their love both on- and off-screen, but a 2012 memoir by Hollywood fixer Scotty Bowers claims their 26-year relationship was a decoy to distract from the same-sex relationships they both reportedly enjoyed.

But it goes on to say: 

Today, while Hollywood has become a friendlier place to openly queer actors, it’s possible there are relationships that are arranged to conceal a star’s true sexual orientation; however, it’s far more plausible that a fauxmance might be concocted to promote a shared project or raise a couple’s collective profile.

It’s more likely a fauxmance is used to promote a project.  The piece goes on to talk about Kaley Cuoco and Henry Cavilli’s “romance” that lasted 12 days when Henry was promoting Man of Steel. Kaley was quoted as saying “I had no one following me until I met Superman. I’ve been in this business for 20 years, and my whole life, I could go anywhere, do anything. There had not been one paparazzi photo of me until like seven months ago. The recognition has been crazy”.  According to HuffPo: 

The problem with Cuoco’s statement is that while it used to be commonplace for the paparazzi to be out in full force following celebrities around town, hunting for that perfect picture, that happens far less often today unless you occupy the A-list.

The rest of the piece analyzes Hiddleswift- Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston’s short romance. 

So what did we learn from reading this “great informative article about faux-weddings and faux-mances”? 

1. Faux-mances are used for PR purposes to distract from negative stories (Taylor -Kim K smackdown) or to amp up the interest factor in actors promoting projects (Cuoco and Cavilli). Mia isn’t famous and doesn’t bring anything to the table PR wise.  She doesn’t ramp up the frenzy in Darren’s media coverage. Furthermore, they have been dating for 10 years rather than a few weeks to months.  

2. Faux weddings -David Miscavige and the Church of Scientology controlled Tom Cruise’s marriage to Katie Holmes- Darren isn’t a Scientologist so this isn’t relevant to anything. 

3. Paparazzi pics aren’t nearly as lucrative as they used to be because social media is much easier to push a narrative. 

4. Using faux romances and marriages to hide an actor’s sexual orientation was used when studios contracted with an actor for a long period of time. The studio system died out by the 60′s and Hollywood is more open-minded nowadays.    The media has never speculated that Darren is gay, there are no scandalized photos of him with men, Darren has definitively said he’s straight for 11 years. There is no reason to think he would be hiding in the closet. No studio owns him for the last 10 years. He said he was straight before he was on Glee, he dated Mia from before he was on Glee. 

The article does give credibility to tinhat tropes- in fact, it does the opposite. Once again, someone got excited that an article covered the same ideas and keywords they love to throw around but nobody read it for content....or they did but like everything, they read it as confirmation bias rather than reading it for what it actually says. 

[mautadite]

january book round up

27 books this month! the most i’ve read in a month in quite some time, and a good start to the year. a couple days late because i’ve been feeling a bit meh. i doubt i’ll be able to read this much at any point this year. but it’s nice to get a good strong head-start on my yearly goal. a mix of audiobooks and e-books so far.

a land so wild - elyssa warkentin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a really lovely epistolary/found media m/m romance story, set during the 1840s, about a ship captain and a naturalist trying to chart a northwest passage in the arctic, and find a ship that was lost five years ago trying to do the same thing. very beautifully told, with lots of emotion that you’d think would be lost because of the mode of storytelling.

how to bang a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a re-read. i remember being very sceptical of this when i first read it, but now that i’ve finished the entire series there’s so much i appreciate about it.

trade me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ my first courtney milan book, after hearing a lot of good things about her. the hype was deserved! i like her writing a lot and this book (a romance between a poor chinese-am daughter of immigrants, and a billionaire heir with an eating disorder) touched on a lot of stuff that you don’t typically see in romance novels. particular what it mean and what it feels like to be poor. this was probably my favourite treatment of billionaires in a novel (at least, ones where they don’t get beheaded).

hold me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the second in the series, equally enjoyable. the hero of this novel has to confront and own up to his sexism in ways that a lot of romance novels would simply let men get away with! if i’d known that that’s part of what the book covered i might not have been enthused to read it, because while i genuinely believe bigoted people can change for the better, i’m not super interested in reading about it. but i really enjoyed how milan wrote it, and the romance was lovely. (also the heroine is trans, nice.)

my lady’s lover - nicola davidson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ not a lot of substance, but it’s historical lesbian romance, which is my eternal catnip. a lady’s maid who’s the member of a society for sexual freedom falls in love with her mistress, and happily discovers that the feelings are returned. there’s sex, some angst, and a happy ending,

a lady’s desire - lily maxton ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another historical f/f romance. pretty low stakes, without much external conflict, but it had good writing and great characters, and i’ll always have a soft spot for childhood friends to lovers. and let’s be real: i mostly picked this up because of the cover. a woman with her head in another lady’s lap, gazing gayly at her? yes, thanks.

rebound remedy - christine d’abo ⭐️⭐️ eh! m/m holiday romance, about a guy who gets dumped before christmas, has a whirlwind rebound romance with his bartender, and then starts falling deeper for him. nothing bad about it, but i just wasn’t feeling the romance. i’ve read shorter stories that had more chemistry and character interaction.

don’t let go - cynthia dane ⭐️ another f/f romance that i got mostly because of the cover, but this one let me down hard. i liked that it was set in taiwan; had a lot of cultural nuance and tidbits that i enjoyed, but everything else, the writing, the editing, and characters, the chemistry... it was a bust. it also had a weird and baffling approach to mental illness, and managed to be yet another book that makes me hate rich people. also... the two authors credited are the pseudonyms of the same person skfjhdfkj ihni why she’s crediting herself twice.

alone - e.j. noyes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ LOVED THIS. f/f mystery/thriller-ish romance, though the mystery aspect is admittedly light. noyes has lovely prose and a good sense of storytelling, but the romance is where this really shone for me. which... idk, i’m aware that it might not be for others who read this book. but something about the way olivia fell so helplessly in love with celeste, everything celeste does to hold on to olivia... it appealed to me on a visceral level.

boystown book 1 - marshall thornton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ three short stories about a gay private eye solving mysteries in the community in the early 1980s. it reminded me of how much i love short form mysteries; there’s just something about stories being told that way that i can’t resist. i was also kind of charmed by the way our main character tripped into bed with a cute twink like every 10 pages. :3

poems i sleep next to - shelby eileen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a collection of contemporary poems. really enjoyable. nothing wowed me, but several poems moved me.

how to talk to nice english girls - gretchen evans ⭐️⭐️⭐️ early 20th century f/f romance between a spirited american heiress and a nice proper english girl. low stakes, character driven. not really character driven enough actually; i felt like they didn’t get to spend enough time knowing each other. and some more external conflict wouldn’t have hurt. but it was hot and fun and well-written.

by his rules - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an m/m romance that looks at abuse in bdsm communities, and spends a good long time on recovery, survival, and healthy relationships that involve kink. i really could not get into the discipline stuff, but i really liked that the main characters worked for their HEA; nothing clicked magically into placed for them, and aiden was given space and resources to work out his trauma.

the wolf and the girl - aster glenn gray ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a retelling of little red riding hood set in early 20th century russia and france that focuses on the friendship between two young women. simple story, very beautifully told.

the secret diaries of anne lister - anne lister ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i started reading this in the middle of last year, after i finished gentleman jack, and i was basically reading snippets at a time until december, and then by january i was eating it all up. i LOVED this. i loved the diary of this at times manipulative, haughty, but kind-hearted and tender and clever woman, and all of her loves and struggles and observations. there’s just something... very good about knowing and seeing that lesbians have always existed, and hearing her first hand accounts is just... GREAT. really looking forward to the next volume.

oh, earthman! - berlynn wohl ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an anthology of short stories. weird, fun, scifi-flavoured m/m erotica.

emma - jane austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ took me long enough, i know! but i really really thoroughly enjoyed my time with this book, especially the audiobook, whose narrator i loved. i loved emma: her cleverness and wit and finesse and all her terrible blunders. though i could tell where the story was going, the getting there was really fun, and i super duper enjoyed the romance (though at one point i got seriously squicked out haha). and fight me: i adored miss bates, i thought she was the best character in the book. LOVE a spinster who don’t know when to shut her trap but is earnest and kind and gentle-hearted and GOOD.

«légendaire.» - kai ashante wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ kaw, i’m begging you, PLEASE write another fell length novel. or novella. please! i love his writing and world-building so so so much, i flip out thinking about it. until he does, these short stories will have to suffice. this was great: everything i love about his writing, revisiting the world and concepts that we’ve seen in his other books, with mesmerising characters and a tragic, but soulful tale.

a conspiracy of truths - alexandra rowland ⭐️⭐️⭐️ i love stories about stories, and as far as that goes, this a pretty good one! the one way it failed to grasp me was on the character front; i just didn’t enjoy the main character as much as i could, or as much as i was meant to, and i felt at times he was too far removed from the plot. basically, chant is a master storyteller travelling in a foreign land, when he’s falsely accused of witchcraft and spying. the novel details how he uses storytelling to get himself out of the pickle, and all the consequences that follow. there are some amazing side characters in this (esp. his apprentice, who i will definitely read the nest book for).

animal farm - george orwell ⭐️⭐️⭐️ felt like rereading this, so i did. and i mean, it’s animal farm! it holds up.

the overdue life of any byler - kelly harms ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ like i said above, i like books about books, and i got this thinking it would be something like that? but it’s more about a single mother who gets the chance to take some time off from her kids and her life, have fun, find romance, and how she deals with managing that, and the guilt, and all the elements that are introduced/reintroduced to her life. i don’t think this is an amazing book, but it’s a lovely one, and i know there are middle aged mothers out there who would benefit from reading it. it’s not about romance (though there’s a cute romance in it); it’s about motherhood and being there for yourself as much as your kids.

the subs club 1&2 - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the first two books in an m/m romance series. a group of friends is still reeling after one of them dies at the hands of an irresponsible dom. they decide to form the subs club; a website to review and rate doms, with an eye towards making the community safer for subs, though it doesn’t really work out that way. the first book follows dave, who ends up getting involved with a guy who’s eerily like ron swanson from parks and rec, and the second follows miles, a masochist who gets involved with a guy who likes to pretend to be a vampire (lmao??). i have to tip my hat to j.a. rock, who seems to have a knack for getting me to read things i’d be otherwise sure i wouldn’t be interested in. and i mean, even after reading, i’m pretty sure i don’t want to read other books about domestic discipline or s&m or pretend draculas, but her characters and plots are well written and engaging and i had a really good time. although, i have to mention: the second book dealt with internalised racism in a way that... while well meaning, was definitely not very deftly done.

alice & jean - lily hammond ⭐️⭐️⭐️ post wwii f/f romance set in new zealand. a young widowed mother falls for the dashing woman who delivers her milk every morning. they have to contend with community scrutiny, an old friend of alice’s husband, and her bitter old mother to fight their way to happiness. i enjoyed it; it was simple and the romance was incredibly sweet, though the writing did drag at times.

american dreamer - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DELIGHTFUL. the very definition of feel good romance! a young dominican-american man moves to the outskirts of new york to start his food truck, and almost immediately meets a cute librarian who turns his head. i flipping love queer romances with characters from the caribbean; it just feels so good when slang is part of the language of love.

minotaur - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i read four books by this author this month, and this is hands down my favourite. i don’t know man, combine girls and monsters and lesbian romance and i”M THERE. thera is a teen orphan sent to a home for girls at the edge of town. there, she makes friends, raises hell, falls in love with the mysterious new girl, and also becomes obsessed with stories of the minotaur, half woman half monster, locked the labyrinth in a cliff not far away. this story appealed to me in so many ways, and i really hope the author writes more f/f in the future.

two dads and three girls - nick (yu) he ⭐️⭐️⭐️ the autobiography of a gay man growing up in china, and the story of how he finds himself, finds love, and becomes a father. very sweet.

whew. that took me a while lol. that’s it for january. i probably (hopefully) will be too busy to read as much this month, but i have some interesting books on my plate. currently listening to an audiobook of beneath a scarlet sky, which is unfortunately underwhelming, and i’ll probably move on with some fun YA.

[theradioghost]

what books did u get ? i rly need to get back into reading more now school is over

oh man. so I’ll give you what I bought & then I’m also gonna throw in some similar books that I have already read just because I can actually vouch for the quality of those

(brief note that my main qualifications when I was looking for books, besides not wanting YA, was that 1. they were not about straight cis white men and/or 2. they had particular appeal to one of the areas of sf&f that I have a particular fondness for and/or 3. they cost under five bucks. so there’s a lot of diverse lit, and a lot of novellas, and a lot of urban fantasy wizards who are also detectives/rebellious angels and or demons/necromancy/dragons/stuff that is explictly Lovecraftian adaptations but takes the piss out of Lovecraft/anything on this list/anything published by Tor)

new books that I have read:

(coming back to update this as I get through these books)

the Lovelace & Wick series by Jennifer Rainey – this is the Demon Husbands one I’ve been yelling about. Two gentleman demons in love – a Faustian tempter and a bringer of catastrophes – are growing increasingly dissatisfied with the work they do for hell, while also being forced to contend with new and dangerous enemies. Set in a vaguely-steampunk 1890s Massachusetts. Also includes monster-hunting steampunk scientist lesbian wives.

Deadline by Stephanie Ahn – fourteen months after a disastrous failed ritual, disgraced blood witch Harrietta Lee gets offered a ridiculously lucrative job quietly recovering a stolen artifact for a young member of a powerful magical family, and promptly finds out that this is too good to be true. Also she keeps meeting scary, hot women. Instantly the only wisecracking urban fantasy PI named Harry that my heart has any room for. (This one’s a bit Spicier than my usual fare but the author actually includes a list of content warnings including page numbers at the front of each book, which you can view with the preview option on the Amazon page.)

Hammers on Bone by Cassandra Khaw – A kid hires London PI John Persons to kill his stepfather. The first catch is that the stepfather is a Lovecraftian horror. The second catch is that Persons is too. This is like, the noir-est horror I’ve ever read and that’s something I am very into. 

The Haunting of Tram Car 015 by P. Djeli Clark – An urban fantasy police procedural set in an alternate 1912 Cairo, in which two government officials are sent to deal with a strange, malevolent spirit in the midst of political upheaval as Egypt’s women demand universal suffrage. There’s a free short story prequel to this on tor.com called “A Dead Djinn in Cairo“ that’s worth reading first.

Three Parts Dead by Max Gladstone – high fantasy with a black protagonist, in which Tara Abernathy, a disgraced magic user and rookie associate in an internationally renowned necromancy firm, is assigned to resurrect a city’s murdered patron fire god – but first, with the help of a chain-smoking priest and a vampire-addicted servant of Justice Herself, she has to track down his killer.

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey – in an alternate history where the 1910 “Hippo Bill” passed, Winslow Remington Houndstooth, an ex-rancher out for revenge, is hired to travel north with a ragtag crew – a con artist and pickpocket, a demolitions expert with a proclivity for poisoning, the most dangerous contract killer in the country, and the very man who ruined his life – and take on the dangers of the massive swamp that was once the Mississippi river, a place ruled over by deadly feral hippos and a homicidal riverboat gambling king.

or, essentially, a swamp-based heist Western with a cast including a British-East Asian bisexual man, a black nb person, an unashamedly fat woman, and a pregnant Latina lesbian, and also their pet hippos. Listen just go ahead and get the version with both stories in it

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh – Tobias has lived in the woods as long as anyone can remember; long enough that the nearby town tells stories of the Green Man, the spirit-king of the forest, who dwells in the trees. These stories are truer, and far more dangerous, than anyone but Tobias knows – so when friendly, handsome, curious Henry Silver buys up the neighboring Greenhollow Hall and starts investigating the local folklore, Tobias will have to decide whether to sacrifice the only life he has known for centuries, or the first person he has loved in all that time.

not-new books that I have read:

idk if you don’t know about the Wayfarers series, the first of which is The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, but it is an absolutely stellar bit of sci-fi very much based around ideas of found family and discovering your own identity and place in the universe and love and compassion and stories based around sweet slice-of-life stuff in a scifi universe with lots of fun aliens and it is so very queer and so very heartwarming and all three books (which each have different casts, although the characters in all three are connected to one another and sort of cameo across all the books) are fantastic.

Urban Dragon by J.W. Troemner – Dragons are supposed to be ruthless, unpredictable, deadly, selfish creatures. So why is it that Rosa Hernandez seems to be able to keep her best friend Arkay in check? How did Arkay, a shape-changing dragon with lightning at her command, end up being found alone and starving and with no memory of her past by a homeless woman? And as evidence mounts that someone is hunting down supernatural beings, who can they trust? (I stumbled across this while looking for urban fantasy on TV Tropes and BOY am I glad I did. Good if you like close friendships between queer women or the enemies-to-lovers trope)

The Merry Spinster by Daniel Mallory Ortberg – of course I was going to read Daniel Ortberg’s short story collection, are you kidding me. Not “””darker””” fairy tale retellings, but fairy tales as often very surreal, psychological horror. Read this if you want to totally ruin “The Velveteen Rabbit” for yourself.

The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker – historical fantasy set in the early-20th-century Orthodox Jewish and Middle Eastern immigrant communities of NYC, about the strange friendship that springs up between a bitter jinn trapped in a mortal body and a masterless golem living among humans. and it gave me feelings.

The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle – a retelling of H.P. Lovecraft’s short story “The Horror at Red Hook” from the perspective of a black man. One of the better pieces of horror I have ever read.

Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff – a very different take on a similar concept to The Ballad of Black Tom, wherein a mid-century black Midwestern family find themselves mixed up in the plans of a bunch of cultists and set out to disentangle themselves from this whole cosmic-horror mess. Apparently Jordan Peele is adapting this into a TV show, so I’m stoked for that.

new books that I have not read:

(& also a couple that are just books I want, and some that I just haven’t read yet but got free from the Tor monthly ebook club, which is very much worth joining)

Armed in Her Fashion by Kate Heartfield– I’m just going to let the official blurb speak for this one because there is absolutely no way I could improve on it

The Black God’s Drums by P. Djeli Clark – New Orleans-based steampunk fantasy about an airship captain and a stowaway who talks to orishas.

Rupert Wong, Cannibal Chef by Cassandra Khaw – Apparently several authors have written standalone works in this series, and Cassandra Khaw’s aren’t chronologically the first, but I love Cassandra Khaw and “chef for ghouls and pencil-pusher for the Ten Chinese Hells is forced to solve an inter-pantheon murder mystery” just sounds so good to me.

Bones and Bourbon by Dorian Graves – Cursed half-huldra PI is forced to help out his little brother and the demon who shares his body, and then everything goes wrong. Feat. carnivorous unicorns.

Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Cordova – reluctant bruja attempts to rid herself of her magic and instead plunges her entire family into magical trouble. YA.

Robbergirl by S. T. Gibson – WLW retelling of The Snow Queen from the perspective of the bandit princess. YA.

Passing Strange by Ellen Klages – slightly-fantastical historical lesbian noir novella set in the burgeoning 1940s gay club scene in San Francisco.

The Black Tides of Heaven by JY Yang – admittedly caught my eye because the cover art reminded me of Moribito, which I adore. East-Asian-inspired epic fantasy which I believe has a nonbinary protagonist.

Rosemary and Rue by Seanan McGuire – I’ve been neglecting getting around to October Daye way, way too long considering how much I love Seanan McGuire and urban fantasy, but my mom started reading this and that pushed me over the edge because damn it, yes I want to read her take on the Wizard Detective genre that I have such a weakness for.

The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson – this was recommended to me in a Tumblr post listing interesting, diverse fantasy, and I’ve been into high fantasy political intrigue lately.

The Paper Magician by Charlie N. Holmberg – came across this in a Twitter thread about fantasy worlds with unconventional and interesting magic systems. A newly graduated student of magic is bitter about being sent to learn paper-crafting magic rather than working with metal, until Murder Stuff Happens. YA.

Miranda in Milan by Katharine Duckett – queer fantasy sequel to The Tempest, with Miranda as protagonist.

Witchmark by C. L. Polk – post-WWI gaslamp fantasy MLM romance about a male witch in hiding, working as a doctor; the reviews seem to indicate people think it’s more ‘delightful’ than ‘literary’ but apparently it is pretty fucking delightful.

In the Vanisher’s Palace by Aliette de Bodard– East Asian WLW retelling of Beauty and the Beast and also one of them is a dragon.

Winter Tide by Ruthanna Emrys – another one of the rash of new Lovecraft adaptations that are turning perspectives around, this being one where the citizens of Innsmouth are the protagonists. Also has a really good short story prequel you can read for free on tor.com.

also I just feel like mentioning that I’m stupidly excited for Gideon the Ninth by Tamsin Muir to come out this fall because the review they’ve decided to put at the top of every blurb is “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” (not my exclamation mark) and I don’t know how anyone could more perfectly craft something to my tastes.

[gotatext]

by this point im p sure u all know the drill.... i’m nora, 23, she/her, gmt and tonight matthew im going to be greta o’driscoll, a terrible person but a hot one which frankly makes it almost ok. here is her pinterest..... this intro is literally just copied n pasted frm the last time i played her so soz if u’ve read it like 10+ times.... 

「 diana silvers. cis-female. 」have you seen greta o’driscoll around yet? i hear she decided to be in POTENTAS for their SOPHOMORE year as a CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY major. the 20 year old SHEPHERD is known to be tenacious, magnetic, capricious and evasive. ➨ the muse is written by nora, she/her, gmt.

was adopted as an infant. had two foster moms and two older sisters so always surrounded by women. lived in a boarding house, very much like the one in 20th century women, with lodgers coming in and out all the time, mostly artsy young women because her gay moms were both high school teachers trying to set up their own arts collective. one of her moms left when she was 4, n she doesn’t really remember her.

while living with entirely women made her super into catlin moran and the guilty feminist, as a teenager she often let boys walk all over her bc she just craved male attention jst bcos she’d never really experienced it. saw it as something aspirational, like sitting in the back of chad’s second-hand truck while he drove you to macdonalds and offered you and his five friends with identical haircuts weed was the height of being cool to greta, she wanted to be their dream girl, even if it meant compromising her beliefs

was always a really sporty bitch. it started with a junior athletics squad, which turned into athletics and cheer, which then became athletics, cheer and hockey until she basically was doing a different activity every night. she came to see her body as a tool that she could make work for her if she trained it up and this attitude’s always kind of stayed with her that as long as her body is strong she is capable of anything. runs every day. 

bubbly bitch but also massive snake. metaphorically and literally, always shedding her skin. loyal to few, ruled by none, out for herself, babey!! every place she goes, she becomes a new character, someone who’s a figment of her imagination, as if each city is repertory theatre and she’s a character actress, so as a result som ppl think she’s called rita, some ppl know her as margot, she just flicks through identities like nobodies business.

left school at 18 n went backpacking around the states making money in the casinos by being a shot girl (yeehaw) and trying to make it as a mysterious 1920s widow with a smoky voice, a dark secret n a heart of gold, looking for love in the big city. all she found was producers and acting agents who’d promise her stardom n actually just fuck her in a motel n then ignore her calls.

TW domestic violence, TW gun, her watershed moment came when she met luke in sioux falls while she was working at a strip club. he was a few years older and had a car, and they kind of went from seeing each other to being that super intense couple who are just necking all the time.

they got engaged like 3 months after they met n rented a flat together, much to her family’s annoyance but she was 19 so there wasn’t much they could do. their relationship was super super intense though, often really heightened and when they fought it could become quite violent, but she’d pass it off as just him being really passionate.

one of their fights got really heated and greta threatened him with the gun he kept in the glove box of his vauxhall corsa, but the safety was off and she accidentally shot him. she pleaded self defence in the trial n cos of the amount of times she’d been hospitalised for various concussions n things like ‘fallling down the stairs’ the police were like yea… pretty watertight evidence that he was a bastard who [chicago voice] had it coming….. 

she’s now under witness protection, rehoused in livingstone as a sports-scholarship student, due to the amount of police involvement in the area, it would mean should one of luke’s family members try to track her down, she’d be relatively safe

massive sports fanatic. plays tennis. on the cheer team. was a track superstar in her high school. honestly just that sporty bitch, you’ll see her doing lines at a party at half four and then on your way to your 9am lecture you see her running across the park like a fresh fucking daisy who is this bitch. maybe it’s maybelline, maybe its coke.

massive feminist. low key quite scared of powerful men bcos of her ex. wants to start a female only lesbian commune bc she misses her childhood in a south dakota boarding house and has endless support for women. honestly annoyed that she is attracted to men, would so be 100% gay if it was a choice. cuffs her jeans and can’t drive. is That bisexual. skateboards. wears backwards caps.  i hate her 

isn’t a foward-planner, however. greta prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manners so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.

has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning. 

not afraid to go after what she wants !! ambitious academically and romantically thirsty !! she loves the adrenaline of the chase. when someone’s easy to get, she becomes bored. very bisexual and very proud of it. feminist as fuck nd part of a queer representation in the arts group which holds fortnightly meetings to discuss lgbt representation in film, literature, art etc.

old soul in a young person’s body. all the shit that has gone on has kind of aged her. she’s quite cynical about everything now. always smoking smoking smoking. very edie sedgwick in that way.  little girls skirts bought for next-to-nothing at the market because she’s skinny enough to get away with it, barely long enough to cover your bum, and then the ugliest baggy sweater you’ve ever seen thrown over it.

likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramphone because “The Sound quality is Better” kfdsjj.

super into pop art and andy warhol. puts female friendships above everything but at the same time, would fuck her best friends man

her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk.

aesthetics:

a bubble of pink gum on chapped lips, mom jeans, a beaten up pair of adidas, denim jackets, strawberry laces, knee-highs, chapped lips, peeling sticky plasters, split knuckles, bruises you try to cover with concealer, stick and poke tattoos, hot coffee, sleep caught in your eyes on a lazy afternoon, kissing girls, cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, leonine arch of your back and that stellar smile that says ‘you have no idea who you’re dealing with’, a rucksack permanently packed for the move, a streak of red across your lips, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your mom wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, his name scrawled in rage across the pages of a diary, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

wanted plots

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sports rivalries ! sporting friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!! 

since greta literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships

 girls from the cheer team who she’s like, weirdly intimate with like the shower together but its not a Thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

and I want like, fellow criminology students who are like?? how is this bitch still passing?? i swear she goes out every night?? 

she works part time at a fast food restaurant, i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry. 

ppl she did a few modules with ie. art history, bio-med, film studies, before changing course and somehow sort of remaining in touch with

 ppl who she runs track with. 

someone she’s trying to make a zine with. 

here’s a list of plots on her old blog if u want any of them w her.

would love plots of any type, throw them all at me please, i cnt wait to interact w all of u. like this if u want me to message you about connections / plots! xo

full biography if u can be bothered

trigger warnings: drugs, domestic abuse, gun.

you never meant for it to happen. you’d heard the stories, of girls who let their man walk all over them, and thought to yourself “i’ll never be one of those girls…” the kind that eat low-fat yoghurt and drink slim fast to shred a few extra pounds because he said she was getting round in the tummy, or the ones who spent their evenings tied to a kitchen sink drinking wine while him and the boys played poker, wishing god, if only I could get out of here. not you, not you raised by strong women, four bright shining beacons. single mother with her hard-as-nails attitude and her stony glares, elder sisters (twins) one ginger, one blonde, one doctor, one lawyer, both determined to take a bullet to the brain and a hammer to the patriarchy before they let a man touch them without asking. you were always so inferior, so insecure and small, like a bird (like a sparrow) with blonde plaits down your back sucking tropicana whilst your busom buds sucked dick, their lips permanently ripe with stories of their sexual exploits, fake tan and glittered nails whilst you sat in the unbroken egg of virginity wondering what it was like to be loved. one day you found out.

lily milligan’s parents gone and a free house for the night, bottles of ouzo and tequila swiped from your mother’s liquor cabinet thinking she wouldn’t know (she always knew) your legs, hardened from pep squad, slut dropping on a kitchen table because the boys thought it would be fun to get the quiet girl drunk. you’d never had a sip before that night. band t-shirts, denim shorts and the split soles of rotten converse that you refuse to let go of, you still clutched with both hands to your youth, but in a tube top now (borrowed from alice carmichael who had a sister in college) and a short tennis skirt, your feet not in trainers but in thigh-high boots. uncomfy as hell but lily said you needed to look sexy. you didn’t know if you wanted to be sexy. you didn’t know what kind of girl you were, if you were even a girl at all. but robbie looked at you like he knew exactly who you were, like he knew you better than you knew yourself, and his lips had the pink cupid’s bow of a movie star, and his hair was dark locks, curling like a mane. his hands were soft, and suddenly on your waist, and after three more shots his lips were on yours and his name was the only sound in your head and on your lips as you lost it in lily’s college sister’s bedroom beneath the glare of a T-Pain poster. you bled for what seemed like hours, his hand still in yours, kissing on the sofa as truth tellers and dare devils continued to spin a bottle of unprecedented youth. you thought it was love. robbie was the one. he loved you, you knew it, how else could someone be so soft? but soon he grew bored, scrunched up your paper heart and set it alight. then came the tears, the hatred, the ‘fuck robbie, in fact, fuck all boys.’ and that you did.

you were known for being easy. any boy could be yours for a night, as long as he promised to love you for those few short breaths and pants before you cried yourself to sleep. you felt poisoned, but poisonous as well, as if by ensnaring these young boys you were gaining power over them, and not the other way around. soon it started to work. they’d want more, but you’d deny them it, sick of sucking off silly schoolboys, they’d call you a tease, a vixen. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help but want older men. you got the history teacher first time, him bending you over his desk to sneak a hand up your tennis skirt as the after-school clubs carried on next door, unawares. love didn’t exist, not for you. it was nothing but a game for pretty young girls to play, bubble gum in their canines and a hand tugging at the hem of their cheer skirt.

there was so much anger inside of your small body, ‘beware of boys and their hook-like words’. hockey helped. there was something formidable about the feeling of a stick like a weapon in your hands and the thwack it made against thighs in the heat of a scrum - “slipped, sorry!” - you’d utter with a snakeskin smile, millicent quinn knowing that you’d hit her on purpose because she shagged robbie at that party last week. she couldn’t prove it, cobbled acne on her forehead turning green with disgust. ben came into your life like a car crash. two years your senior, with a baseball jacket and shoulders like a god. he became your personal hero. on the pitch, he was lethal. together, you could bring anyone to their ruin. each day after last period he’d be waiting in his car. you’d leap into his arms like a girl-half starved, love me, love me, love me, your heated kisses the envy of every junior girl. he was yours for three blissful years, utterly yours, and you were his, his star-spangled girl, and he was your knight - you were both the same, playing games, always difficult to predict. it was a shock to all when he proposed, high-school sweethearts find love in south dakota.

the engagement was a bittersweet affair; three months – you barely out of your gingham print skirts and into a graduation gown, him, a surly quarterback towering above your sisters, cigarette at his lips and a scowl like a fart in a lift. they hated him. so did you. but you were eighteen and in love, and he fitted the cookie cutter mould. everyone wanted him, and you had him. you had him and you were happy, happy, happy, and he loved you. he said he’d give you the world, anything you wanted hand-picked and given to you. instead, he gave you a jack russell terrier and a flat you couldn’t swing a cat in, wallpaper peeling like the rotten bits inside of you, the bits that only he knew. and you got tireder and tireder of the sad excuse of a life he’d picked out for you, him out doing god knows what to pay the bills, and you dancing on tables to pave your way to stardom, and this was love, this was real, until the shine wore off and your fresh-faced, dimple-cheeked cheerleader facade faded and the ugliness started to reveal itself, the whining, the petulance, the sharp-tempered cruelty, the mind games, the need to always win, win, win. he was dull, he was boring, he was nothing like the boy the girls had said he was and no chiselled six pack could hide his lack of anything remotely interesting, your patience wearing thin until it snapped like rubber, a rucksack on your back, running shoes on your feet and the joint bank account emptied into your eighth grade birthday wallet.

you built your small fortunes working the casinos of sioux falls, a crimson dress and an attitude to match. bookish archie with his little dipper freckles was fun for a month, before he became just as dull and dreary as the rest. a three hour bus and you were in minneapolis, bright eyed and bushy tailed, fresh meat ready for the pickings. a hostel here, a friendly co-worker’s sofa there as you made what you could by taking off your clothes and shaking your ass like you were back in pep squad, doing what you did best. you met your fair share of creeps, and soon it was back on the road to escape a wide-eyed stalker and a restless itch for more. milwaukee, chicago, you made the roads your own. log cabins and lodgings, and the occasional motel, a beaten up pick up truck purchased at a scrap merchants – you got a few miles out of it before it bit the dust, and when you finally set it alight after nights spent lounging across the driver’s seat, a parka tucked over you as a duvet, you were sad to see it go. you’re nomadic by fault, never attaching to place, people or things, creating a new personality in every place you go like a character actress; each town is a different repertory theatre, and you’re the star. a compulsive liar, you even fib about your own name, to some you’re ellen, nineteen, bookish, a law student who likes smoking and cosmos. to someone else you’re rita, you’re twenty five and look young for your age, like smoking, comics and fucking in public places.

in the bright lights of michigan, you found charlie, sweet charlie, too good for you, though you let him spoil you while he thought you were the small town girl of his dreams. next came abigail, who was fun until the jealously kicked in, and then luke, gorgeous luke, dangerous, exciting, who despite his temper, despite the fights, despite bruises down your spine and your teeth marks on his arms, loved you with the strength of a wild fire. there was destruction in your wishbones, a savageness from the field, from the pitch and now somehow in his arms, you were godly. he was cruel, he was careless, and he refused to fall at your feet like so many other boys had, which only you made you want him all the more. you were rage incarnate. you hated him so fiercely you thought you might kill him, so he played the only card you wouldn’t predict; proposed.

the house you shared was a backstreet flat in detroit, you making your name as a downtown singer while he footed the bill with pills. they had a drug for anything these days, to dull the senses, to pick them up, to drive you to insanity or pull you out of the madness hole. the two of you lived like criminals on the run (you never told him that you were, living out your days as the enigma he wanted you to be), you with your voice like caramel and fishnet legs. you were his and his alone until his hand was at your throat and the gun was in your hands screaming at him to stop, stop, stop, until a bullet stoppered his brain, crimson staining linoleum as you cast yourself out like lucifer. self defence was decreed the moment they saw your violet neck, black tears and headlight eyes and mind screaming red, red, red like the pom-poms you shook so willingly in school and the insides of his skull. you were gone, and “you” was born, renamed “greta”, boxed, shipped-out, and next-day delivered to livingstone where under witness protection you were a student, blank slate, fresh-faced in a place where no one knew your name, doing what you always did and starting again.

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

do you have any recs for blaine centric klaine fics?

This is @hkvoyage replying.

My absolutely favorite Blaine centric series is Ready to Fly by @gleekmom. The series doesn’t have a summary, but basically, each story follows a season of Glee through Blaine’s experiences. An absolute must read. I spent many a late hour reading ‘one more chapter’.

Another not to miss series is Immutability and Other Sins  by Fabfemmeboy.

This is an AU that spans from the late 1950s to just shy of modern-day. With the exception of the prologue, it goes in order. It begins in the fall of 1959 at Dalton Academy and follows the trajectory of the American gay experience through our not-always-so-happy couple. While the central story series is Klaine, there are some genfic stories on the side, set in the same universe and timeframe. Mostly because, as I planned out the main story, I kept coming back to all the ways in which the members of New Directions would be different 50 years ago, how many ways their worlds would be unfamiliar or more limited than we think of today. For all politicians seem to talk about what a great time the 1950s were, they weren't for a lot of people.

My comments: Some of the stories in this series focus solely on Blaine, but others focus on Kurt. I absolutely loved reading every single story in the series. When I had finished reading the last word, I felt that I had learnt so much about the 20th century American gay experience through our beloved characters.

As the Present Now by CarolineShea

Blaine and Kurt's deepening relationship dredges up some painful memories from Blaine's father's past. The fall-out affects not only Blaine's relationship with his dad, but his relationship with Kurt and his understanding of himself.

My comments: This was so good that I burst out in tears. That doesn’t happen very often.

Courage by @darrencrissfanfics

Do you believe that one moment can change the course of your life, or do you think it's a series of moments that build from one experience to the next? I'm a man who believe in moments. One year ago, one moment changed everything I had ever known. Follow Blaine and his loved ones as he tells the events from him coming out to the day he met his soulmate on the staircase.

My comments: I first discovered this author when they were posting this fic. It digs deep into Blaine’s back story before he arrived at Dalton Academy. This was the author’s first multi-chapter fic. Such an impressive effort that totaled 280k words.

[emmythespacecowgirl]

Could I request a ship?

I have short dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have pearl earrings currently. I am 5'6. I am also ftm and gay.

I am currently learning German and Ukrainian. I play the cello (I would say that I'm pretty decent at it). I want to join the paratroopers soon and maybe get a doctorate degree in the medical field. I like writing books, reading, and drawing. I am very interested in history mainly the 20th century. I also know how to cross-country ski and love the winter.

My MBTI type if I remember correctly is INTJ. I love procrastinating and do well under a lot of pressure. I'm also very stubborn and awkward with talking to people so I don't have many close friends. For some reason, I have a sort of knack for doing things well, even if it's the first time I've tried it and that might be because I listen really closely to stuff to make sure I'm doing everything correctly. I need a straightforward path and a list of things I should do to get something done.

I have depression, anxiety and maybe (I say maybe because it's undiagnosed) maladaptive daydreaming, which basically means I daydream too much that it's a problem. Any small words of affection or reassurance sends me through the roof and makes me happy for the rest of the day (idk why). I also get angry very quickly and forget things quickly.

I am converting to Judaism so that’s cool. My sense of clothing style is just me pretending I’m in the military, pleather jackets, heavy jackets that are either camo or dark green, aviator sunglasses, a lot of neutral colours, fancy dress shirts/blouses, combat boots (which I currently do not own so just tennis shoes or winter boots), I have a few BoB pins which I have created on my own :) I like wearing t-shirts in winter under my jacket just because. The t-shirts usually have designs like aeroplanes, space, and museum shirts. I also have a collection of shirts from places I’ve never been cause I think it’s hilarious. I do a lot of things just cuz I think they’re funny.

I keep a lot of stuff in my pockets “just in case”. I impulse buy, which is a big insecurity of mine. People intimidate me easily so I usually wait to get approached to start a conversation. I like watching adventure shows like extinct or alive or expedition unknown.

 I would say that I have a very dark sense of humour and am almost always sarcastic when talking to my friends (also I love irony). I have an interesting music taste, most any song I listen to goes onto my liked songs on Spotify heh. I sometimes slip into a British accent or one that isn’t mine at all.

I tend to get myself injured a least once daily. (this is a not a problem for me anymore)

Wow can I just say that you sound like the most interesting person?! I feel like we would honestly be friends irl. I also really need someone to teach me how to cross-country ski, bc I’ve never done that before 🤭

I ship you with:

Lewis Nixon from Band of Brothers!

Ship theme song: Real Love by The Beatles

Y’all make the most interesting couple!

You both know a lot about really obscure stuff

Two Encyclopedia Bitches In Love💕

He finds your dark brown hair and brown eyes so sexy

The two of you know soooo many languages

He loves when you speak Ukrainian to him

Since that is one language that he hasn’t quite picked up yet

Meeting you during the war in Germany and he thinks your German at first because you speak the language so well

Lew was raised on classical music

So he loves sitting down with a glass of Chardonnay while you play your cello

Is very supportive of you entering the medical field

You probably meet at a field hospital during Bastogne

I feel like you two will have a huge shared library of books together

Lew is a lover of pop culture and history

He can spew weird history facts at you all day

And he loves that you probably already know all of them🤭

You love to ski?!

This dude will literally buy a Swiss mountain chalet just so you can both going skiing together in the winter months

Intj and entp personalities are very complimentary just saying

Y’all nickname your house Procrastination Station

Literally, all Nix ever did during the war

Besides drink

Was work under pressure

But he’ll never push you to do anything you don’t want to do

Nix lives in a very laidback manner

And he’s glad that you do, too

This man hates to be rushed through life

Nix was that Gifted And Talented kid in school

So he relates to your ability to do things perfectly the first time

Those first few years after the war were tough on you both

Nix had a lot of baggage coming out of the war

So he understands your need to be alone

And for escapism

Nix has a way with words

And he’s getting better at showing his true affection and fondness for you through kind reassurances

He’s a great gift giver

And an impulse buyer like yourself

So your home is probably loaded with boxes of random stuff Nix just picked up for you during the course of his day

Nix isn’t really religious

Nor is he that spiritual

But he’s supportive of your conversion to Judaism

He thinks it’s a very interesting culture

He has no problem with introducing you to new people

Since he knows it can be difficult for you to approach others

In fact, he’s quite good at making connections for others

Nix loves your sense of humor

It gels perfectly with his own

You never fail to make him laugh when he’s having a bad day

And for that he is eternally thankful

[megacircuit9universe]

The Last Touchstone

FRI FEB 14 2020

So, since my last entry, it’s been... I would call it, a, “noisy,” news week.

What I mean by that is... there was one big story... and then there were a string of other stories, with a different narrative, which, I sense were being pushed to drown out the one big story.

The one big story was... Bernie Sanders decisively became the front runner for the Democratic nomination.  He won New Hampshire... with Joe Biden placing 5th... and Polls afterward had him not only taking California and Texas in the near future, but also the easy winner of the nomination.

And though this got a bit of coverage in the media, and made newspaper headlines... it was split screened, at the very least, or totally drowned out later in the week, by obsessive coverage of Trump doing exactly what we expected him to be doing, after being acquitted by the Senate... which also was exactly what we expected the Senate to do.

He started by firing Vindman and Sondland, who testified against him to the House.  Who thought they were going to keep their jobs after that?  I didn’t.  Did they?

Then Barr of course, pressured the DOJ team who’d been prosecuting Roger Stone, to recommend a sentence half what they were planning on (7 to 9 years) after an angry tweet from Trump... a move which caused every member of that prosecution team to resign from the case, or quit the DOJ altogether.

That’s clearly an abuse of power on Trump’s part, but it’s exactly the same kind of shit he was doing before the impeachment... and Barr obeyed him exactly as he always does.  This was not new or surprising... except for the fact that the prosecution all resigned immediately.

That’s the headline, and if anything, it thwarts Trump and Barr, because it halts the sentence recommendation, and give the Judge (as well as the House) time and cause to look into possible wrongdoing from the AG... and Barr could soon face his own impeachment trial, or be forced to resign.

At any rate, in my book it seems Trump’s impeachment did nothing but hurt him here, as it put a spotlight on this nefarious behavior which would otherwise have happened in the shadows... and punctuated how wrong his acquittal was, thus hurting his loyals in the Senate.

Okay, but the mainstream media focused on Trumps retaliatory actions as if they were unprecedented, and took the fear mongering angle that he was becoming an autocrat... and what the hell are we gonna do now?..  

...to the exclusion of any meaningful coverage on the contest to decide Trump’s 2020 opponent... for which there is now a clear front runner, as well as a couple more strong candidates.

They don’t want to look at that contest, because the candidates they wanted to oppose Trump... Biden, or if not Biden, then Warren... are both doing miserably in these early primaries, and will both probably drop out before March is over.

So instead of talking about the candidates who are doing well, with Sanders leading the pack... they’d rather fear monger about Dictator Trump, and hope that voters will pick up, from their silence about the primaries... that all hope is lost, unless Biden and/or Warren can be raised from the dead.

What exactly do I mean by fear mongering?

I’ll give Rachel Maddow as an example here... but bear in mind that I’ve been watching her regularly since 2017 and in all that time, have been a biggggg fan of hers.  Loved her!  Praised her!

But this week she did a segment about Trump’s post acquittal retaliations in which she was uncharacteristically hysterical.

She said that the resignations of the DOJ prosecutors for Stone, after Barr pulled rank on them because of a Trump tweet, were meaningless... because all resignations in protest are meaningless now... because everybody in the Executive Branch who have stood up to Trump, from them, to Vindman and Sondland, to Bolton, to everybody... she listed everybody...

...have had their lives, “destroyed,” by Trump.

This... made me physically gag to hear her assert it, in such an animated, alarmist tone... for two big reasons;

1) No their lives were not destroyed.

2) No matter what they suffer, it’s part and parcel of taking the oath.

On the first point... he fired them.  They lost nice jobs paying good money.  Oh no!  Every single one of them will land on their feet... if not by retiring on the piles of  money they already have, then by just getting other jobs, or by writing books, doing the lecture circuit, being political pundits on MSNBC... the opportunities for these people are endless.

To say that their lives have been destroyed is a gigantic insult to people’s who’s lives have been destroyed, either by unjust presidential policies of the past, by putting them in jail (war on drugs), putting them out on the street (economic policies), deporting them, etc... OR... their lives have been literally ended by going off to war to fight for our constitution with actual guns in actual battles against armed combatants. 

Which leads to the second point... they took the same oath as any member of the military.

We say that Vindman and Sondland were brave... but they were doing their fucking jobs, according to the oath everybody takes when they take a job with the Executive Branch.  Same for these prosecutors who resigned.

It’s not bravery to stand by an oath you took when entering public service.  It’s cowardice to do anything but.

I’ve said this before, and I need to say it again, there is nothing in the oath to defend our constitution that says, “unless it’s really inconvenient, or could cause you undo public embarrassment on social media, or could force you to retire and live off your fortune before you were ready.”

And for Rachel Maddow, of all people, to imply that the relative inconvenience these people have suffered standing up to a real constitutional menace... is too high a price to pay, and that therefore, such stands in the future are meaningless now... is truly galling... given the powerful megaphone she used to say it.

Nowhere in that segment did she say, “But don’t worry, because we have some good Democratic candidates to vote for to put an end to this nightmare just a few months from now.”

It was unmitigated fear mongering... coming from a state of deep denial about where the American public is actually going in 2020... and done in a desperate attempt to raise centrism from its grave.

Because 20th Century style centrism... and the status quo capitalism that goes along with it... is the bread and butter of Rachel Maddow, as well as her mainstream journalist colleagues.  

This same week, Chris Matthews stated fears that if Bernie were president, there would be public lynchings of the elite in Times Square, and Chuck Todd likened Bernie supporters to, “brown shirts,” a statement that got him a slap in the face by the Anti Defamation League... likening Bernie, a Jew, who grew up with holocaust survivors, to Hitler.

In short, Centrists are terrified of Trump, on the one hand, because they are fantastically over blowing the significance of his Senate acquittal (which I’ve already covered is par for the course in a Presidential impeachment, but never saves the impeached party from immediate retirement) and fearing he will throw them all in Guantanamo next week... now that he has no checks at all on his awesome power (his approval ratings are always shit, nearly 80% of the public wants him removed, the courts hate his guts, one half of congress hates him, and the other half is up for reelection).

On the other hand Bernie Sanders, if elected, will command his brown shirts to hang them all in Times Square, because they have comfortable livelihoods.

These are mostly boomers, by the way, and boomers are the generation who invented centrism... this philosophy of being sympathetic to social justice issues, but also sympathetic to conservative financial concerns... give me my huge paycheck, and McMansion in my gated community, and keep my taxes low... but also... hey, racism is bad and gays are people too!

For boomer centrists, it’s about... staying true to your teenage rebellious phase, when you protested the man, because it was cool... but also enjoying the life of the man... and the system the man made for you... it’s a balance.

There are a lot of conservative folks to the right of center, so... it’s easy to go a bit left and just... balance that out.  But keep the see-saw level!  Center!  Level!  Balance!  

In the closing paragraph of my last entry, In so many words, I argued that Trump has concentrated so much weight... so far right of center... that the only way to counter it now... is to get further left.

But, when you’re a centrist... any change is inconvenience, and any inconvenience is equivalent to having your life destroyed!  

We’re not supposed to live in history... we’re only supposed to use history as a way to impose our centrist views on everybody, to keep it from changing!

They obsess over two periods of time... WW2, and the 1960s.  In the former era, some generation of sad souls gave their lives to put down totalitarianism around the globe and keep the world free.  

In the latter... another unfortunate generation... (the Silent Generation for the most part), endured all kinds of horrors (including high profile assassinations to JFK, RFK, and MLK) to secure the civil rights we all enjoy today.  

All of this was selflessly done to settle all the major problems in life... for us!.. the people who don’t have to be inconvenienced by history anymore :D

And if any candidate, or social issue has ever threatened to upset that... well... they just analyze WW2 at everybody... and analyze the 1960s at everybody... until the problem slinks away into the shadows of shame.

This is why Bernie will be hanging the elites in Times Square, and why Trump is already an all powerful Hitler... and also why the only person who can save us is the former VP of Obama... because without Hillary Clinton in the race... Biden is the last touchstone of the world they knew.

It wasn’t always a world they liked... with Reagan and Bush pulling their naughty conservative shenanigans during their allotted terms on the Presidential see saw... but it was a world where the corrupt ones... the Nixons, stepped down.

Despite the political cold snaps and heat waves, over the long run, life always remained stable.

Just like the climate!

And, just as climate change is the result of boomer centrism constantly ignoring the warning signs, because to acknowledge them would result in inconvenience... 

...so too, we can see pretty clearly in February of 2020... Trump’s Presidency itself was the result of these same people gate-keeping Bernie Sanders out of the nomination process in 2016.

I’ll state that again for emphasis;

Trumps Presidency was the result of centrists gate-keeping Bernie Sanders out of the 2016 nomination process.

This was done by the DNC putting their thumb on the scales in a few key primaries to favor Clinton... and in the General election it was done by overwhelming press coverage, assuring everybody that Clinton was going to win the Presidency by a landslide.

The former action had the result of alienating an organic grassroots movement of progressive voters across the nation.  The latter, convinced them to stay home, because they were not needed, while simultaneously daring Trump supporters to come out and vote, because they would not matter.

And having learned nothing, they meant to go right back to that same script this time around, with Biden.

But it’s not an option this time around... and they’re having nervous breakdowns about it.  Huge, panic ridden nervous breakdowns, calling for everybody to just give up hope.

All of this said... and with the hour growing late...

Bernie was right, in his victory speech in New Hampshire, to point out that he’s put together a grass roots coalition which is multiracial, and multigenerational. It doesn’t depend on any one demographic, because it has significant voting power coming from all of them... and it’s not gonna be easily swept aside, either by billionaires, or mainstream neglect, or Trump power stunts... because it does have roots... it has real weight... and he’s in the lead... and gaining momentum.

Okay, that’s enough for one entry.

I’ve got work in the morning.