#goes to every party

[aroacesetitoff]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (in the same adventuring party)

[shatouto]

i've seen a poll about gale and anders but i feel like this one is a more difficult one to answer

[too-many-lavellans]

Camp Canids

[claudtrait]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY APPLEEEEEE 😋😋

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

All: TRICK OR TREAT!

vampire marty as a late halloween treat :]

[protagonist-art]

um doomed yuri ocs? yes pls !!!

this is post is Carrie focused! she's fucked up and evil and like rlly short...

[pseudophan]

my aunt's being a cunt so now my mum's sobbing in the living room everything is so awesome all of the time

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

Your election post was the most holier-than-thou, performative, bullshit I’ve ever read. Get a grip and get some self awareness.

i will take "missed the entire point" for 500, alex

[irregularbillcipher]

honestly the funniest thing about chaos god divorce court au is the idea that screwball goes back to discord and pinkie’s house and on days where she isn’t quite matching bill’s energy her first thought is “man mom and dad’s place is kinda boring but at least it’s stable.” other ponies will be like “wow your dad is discord and your stepmom is pinkie? and they just had twins??? that house must be insane” and screwball just thinks about her weekends at the fearamid and is like “no actually dad’s house is the most relaxing place i know. you should meet my pops and his husband. that house is insane”

[mischiefbuckley]

see I do believe we will get Eddie in a second Halloween costume on our screens that’s not the werewolf like again in the promo for episode 5 we see Hen in two different costumes and in regards to Eddie’s second costume it will be more in reference with the mustache like would love to see Freddie Mercury but also with the mention earlier prior to the start of season 8 where Ryan mentioned that he would love to play Zorro around the same time that they would have been doing costume fittings for season 8 so I think it is very much a possibility to see Eddie as Freddie or Eddie as Zorro on our screens this Thursday and I’m super excited to see what happens

[sixlane]

tricks up sleeves and all that

rosekiller microfic | 1,180 words | magician Barty, single dad Evan

The first thing Evan thought when his daughter told him she wanted a magician at her birthday party was how did I raise a child who enjoys close-up magic? It wouldn’t have been his first choice, probably wouldn’t have even been his last. He would’ve gone with something classier, more elegant, like a tea party or a day at the museum. Something to live up to the extravagance of previous years. Sure, Eleanor is only seven but that doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy the finer things. 

So, in between meetings and phone calls, Evan researched children’s birthday party magicians, and as you’d expect, not much was living up to his standards. After days of sifting through resumes and background checks, he was eventually able to find a well-designed website with good reviews and speak to a representative who promised to send their best.

This is why Evan is so confused when he opens his front door to find a tall, lanky man in ripped jeans and a worn out t-shirt, his look complete with ruffled hair, an eyebrow piercing, and excessive amounts of tattoos. 

“You must have the wrong house,” Evan says. He thinks he should probably close the door but something about this man is intriguing. He wants to look for just a second longer.

The man leans back to check the address beside the door. “You’re Mr. Rosier, right? I’m here for the birthday party. I’m Barty, the magician.” 

Evan raises a brow. “You don’t look like a magician.”

“Were you expecting a full tuxedo? It’s like 95 degrees out.” A tilted grin spreads over his face, showing off a pointy canine. “Here let me show you.” Before Evan can back away, Barty is reaching behind his ear and producing a shiny quarter, flipping it between his fingers confidently. “Ta da.”

“That’s hardly magic,” Evan says, crossing his arms. He better get a full refund if this is the best they had.

“No, you’re right. That’s just the decoy.” He raises his left hand, and between his thumb and pointer finger he holds Evan’s watch, which had previously been secured to his wrist.

Evan’s mouth drops open slightly. He hadn’t even felt it. “That’s not magic either, that is literally stealing.” He snatches the watch back, putting it on.

“It’s the art of misdirection,” Barty explains. “I do a dumb coin trick, and while you’re paying attention to that, I do something more impressive. It’s like, the basis of all magic.”

Evan doesn’t even know what to say. This man has just pickpocketed him on his own front porch and now he wants Evan to let him into his house? 

At the same time Evan is getting ready to slam the door in Barty’s face, Eleanor appears at his hip, smile wider than a mile across her face.

“Is this the magician, Dad?” she asks, tugging at his shirt while she bounces up and down.

“You must be Eleanor,” Barty says, squatting down so they’re at eye level. He’s performing now, Evan can tell. He lights up and his smugness from before is washed away. “Would you like to pick a card?” 

Eleanor nods enthusiastically.

Barty pulls a deck out of his back pocket and starts shuffling. Evan watches the way his fingers move deftly around the cards. Bending and flipping them expertly before fanning them out in front of her.

“Okay, go ahead. But don’t tell me what your card is, just show it to your dad and put it back anywhere in the deck.”

Eleanor does as instructed and shows Evan the card, ace of hearts, before sliding it back in.

“Thanks Eleanor, that’s great.” He starts shuffling the cards again, adding in flourishes here and there. Evan watches intently, trying to track his every move, see where he might be switching cards out or taking a peek, but he moves too quickly for Evan to stay on top of everything. “Now Ellie, can I call you Ellie?” Eleanor giggles and nods her head. “Your dad here,” he tilts his head up at Evan, “has already seen me do a trick similar to this, but I think I can put a new spin on it, what do you say?” 

Eleanor looks up at Evan, affronted. “Dad! You’ve been playing with the magician without me?”

Evan hears Barty try to stifle a laugh and feels the beginning of a tension headache spreading behind his eyes. “I was just making sure he was up to our standards,” he grits out.

“Don’t worry Ellie, your dad was just doing his due diligence.” Eleanor looks appeased and waves her hand in a motion that tells Barty to continue. He does one last shuffle and then reaches behind Eleanor’s ear. When he pulls back, he has the ace of spades in between his pointer and middle fingers. “So Ellie, was this your card?” 

She looks confused and a little disappointed. Evan holds himself back from kicking Barty directly in the face. “Um… close,” she says. “Mine had hearts on it.”

Barty looks at the card. “Huh. You know, sometimes the cards don’t always do what we want them to so we have to shake some sense into them. He starts waving the card quickly back and forth. When it comes to a stop, Barty holds the ace of hearts where the ace of spades had previously been. He smiles in triumph. Evan still kind of wants to kick him in the face.

Eleanor lets out an excited squeal and rushes forward to tackle Barty into a hug. “Can we keep him, Dad?” she screams directly in Barty’s ear. He doesn’t even flinch.

Evan lets out a resigned sigh. He’s really never been able to deny Eleanor anything, so he steps to the side, opening the door wider, a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. “Of course Eleanor. Go gather your friends in the living room. Barty will be right in.” He places a hand on her head as she runs by.

Barty stands up and straightens his pants out, sliding the deck back into his pocket. “Good enough?” he asks, shrugging a shoulder.

Evan scrutinizes him for a second, running his eyes over every inch of the man. The line of his cheekbone, the curve of his neck, the way his thumb rubs a circle into the side of his pointer finger. There’s something about him. Evan hasn’t heard Eleanor scream that loud since Pandora got her a bug collection kit for Christmas last year. 

“I want you to know that I keep a detailed inventory of everything in my home, so if you steal something I will find out, and you won't be happy about the consequences.”

Barty smiles, something mischievous glinting in his eye. “We’ll see about that,” he says brushing past Evan to make his way into the living room. Evan closes the door behind him. Right before Barty turns the corner, he throws something over his shoulder. Without thinking, Evan catches it. His wallet. With the ace of hearts sticking mockingly out of the top.

[ghostzzy]

in my dream world i wake up every morning and spend an hour laying there dozing while my pills kick in and then i get up and have some kind of pleasant drink while i sit in a comfy chair and respond to correspondence from my friends and make a few phone calls and then just watch tv or play games or read for a bit and when i’m hungry i eat leftovers from last night and then i take a nap and then i do some creative task or hang out with friends in the afternoon til dinner and i always cook enough for leftovers for tomorrow’s lunch and then i take half an edible and journal til it kicks in and then i get so cozy and do something passively enriching til i fall asleep.

[spelldealer]

they really like putting these guys ⬇️ into situations

[thestobingirlie]

the mrs. harrington bathroom pharmacy is so real to me. she’s a pills and wine for dinner kind of gal

[wildsaltair]

I could write an entire thesis on how Maximus is so husband-coded and how different he is from other action heroes of, before, and after his day. he is so timeless because his qualities go so far beyond the generic, and I want to stand on a mountaintop to explain this in painstaking detail to the whole world

[bachikinmo4]

Sigbachi would never be canon that's a gay man and a lesbian