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amjustagirl · 4 years ago

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Summary: She may mean the world to Iwaizumi Hajime but at the end of the day, Oikawa Tooru is his star.

AO3 Link here

Sequel: Broken Compass

She used to think the universe intended for her to literally crash into one Iwaizumi Hajime.

One of her first assignments as a writer for one of the country’s top sports magazines was to cover the Japanese volleyball team’s season, and despite constant reminders from her editors not to screw this up because the men’s volleyball team is crazy popular these days, she manages to trip over her own feet and knock not just herself, but the newly minted team trainer to the ground.

When she lifts her head from the ground, the first thing that hits her mind is - goodness, he’s hot - he’s a veritable god among men, all sinewy muscles and sunkissed skin, and she can’t bring herself to speak as he carefully checks her once over for any signs of injury. ‘Are you alright?’ he asks her, and she nods dumbly as he pulls her to her feet and waves her off with a warm smile. The heat from his hands lingers on her skin long after she goes to bed that night.

They meet again at the next match. He remembers her name, she gives him a friendly wave. Then at the next match, she cheekily asks for his comments and he huffs a laugh as he directs her to the team’s PR manager. By the end of the season, she works up the courage to ask him out for coffee, and he says yes .

Iwaizumi Hajime is everything she dreamt of in a partner - kind, caring, steady, his feet firmly planted on the ground. He always wraps his arm around her to pull her close when they walk along the edge of the road, and indulges her pleas for an extra cuddle – ‘ the last one, I promise! ’ - every morning when he leaves for work. They exchange long text messages late into the night when either of them are on the road, and nag each other for working too hard. When they lay in bed at night, he whispers promises filled with love against her skin, tells her he can trace the constellations in her eyes.

It makes it so easy for her to close her eyes and believe that their love is written in the stars, so a year later when he asks her to marry him, she doesn’t hesitate to jump into his arms and say yes . The weight of the silver band he slips on her finger grounds her with his love, and her heart is full.

She can’t stop feeling like a thief who’s snatched the sun from the sky.

Oikawa Tooru is to be his best man of course.

She knows who he is, she’s covered the sport long enough to have heard about him - the prodigious setter from Miyagi who never made it once to Nationals despite his obvious talent (an exquisitely crafted katana is, after all, no match for the brute force of a cannon), who spit in the face of fate and chased his dreams to sunnier lands.

Iwaizumi has always been awfully fond of regaling her with stories of Oikawa, so much so that she thinks she can piece together their relationship - childhood friends turned longtime teammates, the long suffering ace and the monstrously brilliant setter. She watches his face soften uncharacteristically when he reads news about his old friend winning a match, and hardens when Oikawa whines loudly during their video calls about his bruises and sore knee. She can’t help but think Iwaizumi must have been like Jupiter, a god in his own right, drawn into orbit around Oikawa, a star burning over-bright.

She knows they remain best friends despite their separation by whole continents, keeping in contact via video calls and text messages, playing hopscotch with the time difference. They certainly look like it when they greet each other at the airport, Oikawa trilling a playful ‘ Iwa-channn’ and Iwaizumi grunting at him to ‘shut up, they’re in public, dumbass!’, exchanging back slaps so loud it makes her wince.

‘You must be the poor fiancee’, Oikawa gives her an exaggerated leer as he stands before her, hands on hips. ‘What did Iwa-chan drug you with to get you to marry him? Do you know he snores like a monster in his sleep? You know you can back out before the wedding right? Blink once if you’re ok, and twice if you’re not - and I’ll help you escape from him.’

Before she can respond to that frankly impertinent speech, Iwaizumi roars ‘Shut-up, Shittykawa’, tackling him into a headlock and wrestling him off into their car. She stifles a laugh as they spend the rest of the ride to Oikawa’s hotel room bickering back and forth.

‘How did you manage to pack so much luggage for a two week stay, you vain piece of crap!’

‘I care about my looks and grooming - unlike some of us who skulk around in clothes they’ve worn since high school!’

‘Vainpot.’

‘Beast.’

‘Piece of shit’

‘Meanie’

Iwaizumi alternates between grunting and growling at Oikawa’s nonsense but his eyes are shining (so bright that she can see stars) and Oikawa’s retorts are punctuated with smiles that are impossibly wide. She thinks to herself it’ll be good for Iwaizumi to have Oikawa around.

Oikawa starts to call her ‘ Chibi-chan ’ especially when Hajime is around to be annoyed by it – she admits she’s short, but not that short, it’s just that he spends most of his time surrounded by literal giants - and develops an irritating habit of ambushing her with quizzes about Hajime's likes and dislikes.

'Favourite food?'

'Agedashi tofu.'

'Favourite movie?'

'Godzilla.’

After a few rounds of these pop quizzes, she looks at him like he's sprouted a second head. ‘Seriously, Oikawa-san, we're getting married in less than two weeks. Do you seriously think I wouldn't know the most obvious things about my own fiancé?'

'Don't frown, Chibi-chan, you'll grow wrinkles and look old', he sing songs at her. 'I'm just making sure you're worthy of Iwa-chan's love!'

'Stop bullying my fiancée, Shittykawa, or I'll beat you up so bad you can't move'. Iwaizumi rubs lazy circles against her back, and she leans against him comfortably.

'Aww Iwa-chan, once a bone head, always a bone head’, Oikawa says, scrunching his face into a mock-sniff. ‘Say, Chibi-chan, do you know Iwa-chan would beat me up ‘til I let go all the cicadas we caught, but if they died, he would cry?'

‘Are you calling me a crybaby, Shittykawa’, Iwaizumi growls dangerously, simmering down only when she coos at him, ‘that’s so cute, you must have been such a sweet child’.

Then, sensing that her presence is probably stopping the boys from catching up fully, she shoos them out of the apartment on the premise that they should get some fresh air and cool off but really so they can get some much needed time together. ‘ And stop fighting’ , she calls after them, making good use of the quiet to busy herself with wedding preparations.

When Iwaizumi finally returns home late that night, he finds her asleep on the couch, and with a soft smile he curls up around her. ‘Hajime?’ she breathes, nuzzling her nose into his neck, and he has to bite back the urge to cover her face with kisses, tightening his hold on her instead.

‘I’m back’, he whispers, his breath warm against her neck. ‘Sorry I was out so long’.

‘It’s fine’, she mumbles sleepily. ‘Did you guys have fun?’

‘Yeah - we went for dinner and then Oikawa dragged me to at least five different bakeries to find the perfect milk bread before he was willing to go for drinks’, he complains. ‘And he made me promise to go for drinks with Issei and Hanamaki tomorrow afternoon before we meet with the wedding coordinator’.

‘Mm’, she hums absently. ‘Oikawa seemed a little on edge earlier. I’m glad he calmed down and had fun with you’.

Iwaizumi frowns into her hair, thinking back to Oikawa’s inexplicable needling of her earlier. ‘Sweetheart, if Oikawa is irritating you, I'll make him stop’.

‘It’s fine’, she says, with a little more force than she intended, waving away the concerned look he gives her. ‘He’s your best friend, Hajime. I think he's just feeling a little insecure. You should spend more time with him while you still can’.

He grins and kisses her warmly. ‘You’re too good to me. What did I do to deserve you?’

‘Because the universe willed that I love you’, she answers, as if it were the most obvious thing on earth.

But Oikawa manages to find a way to wreck her well made plans.

Iwaizumi finds her in the kitchen, back turned towards him, and the slam of the dishes on the counter makes him wince. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart’, he tells her, wincing when she shrugs off his hand.

'You skipped our appointment with our wedding coordinator', she hisses, whirling around to face him. ‘But that’s not the worst of it - do you know how scared I was when you didn’t pick up my calls? I thought you got hurt or heaven forbid - got run over by a car and died, Hajime!’

‘I’m sorry’, he repeats, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. 'I got engrossed in catching up with Hanamaki and Issei, and Oikawa stole my phone so I lost track of time. I kicked his ass for it, you could've heard him whining about it from outer space’. He slyly slides an arm around her waist, resisting her attempts to pull away as he buries his nose in her hair. ‘I'll make it up to you, I promise'.

'Make sure you do', she huffs, leaning into his warmth. ‘And what was Oikawa’s reason for stealing your phone?’

‘You know Shittykawa, he probably thought he was being cute. I’ll make him apologise,’ Hajime replies, pressing his nose into the crook of her neck.

She relaxes a fraction, breathing in his familiar scent - fresh linen and pine and home, but that doesn't ease the knot of something - she can't quite put her finger on what it is just yet - weighing down in her chest.

True to his word, Iwaizumi drags Oikawa by his ear to lunch with them the next day, not letting go until he apologises to her with an appropriately chastened expression on his face. ‘I’m sorry, Chibi-chan, I shan’t do it again’, he tells her contritely, but when Iwaizumi’s back is turned, he shoots her a puckish grin brimming with mischief that makes her toes curl.

She ignores him, and lets herself be drawn into the flow of their conversation - Oikawa complaining incessantly about Ushijima Wakatoshi and Kageyama Tobio whom she’s met many times in the past few months and he shoots her dirty looks when she archly tells him that she thinks they’re lovely men, Iwaizumi getting on Oikawa’s case again for not eating enough, for not sleeping enough, barely able to restrain himself from violence when Oikawa responds with a trilled ‘ Iwa-chan, you sound like my mother ’.

The conversation meanders off to their Seijoh teammates she’s not terribly familiar with, so she’s caught off guard when Oikawa abruptly turns to her with shit-eating grin and asks innocently ‘Say, Chibi-chan, what about Iwa-chan caught your eye?’

‘Have you looked at him?’ she says, playfully nudging a blushing Iwaizumi with her elbow. ‘He’s built like a god.’

Oikawa’s smile turns sickly sweet, showing far too much teeth. ‘In that case, I’m surprised you didn’t go for one of the volleyball players instead. Or was Iwa-chan your last attempt? You’re twenty-five this year, after all.’

A glance in Iwaizumi’s direction shows her exactly what she expects - first, his mouth drops open in a wide-eyed, open mouthed gape, then fury burns white hot across his face, and she has to grab his hand before he causes a scene by throwing himself bodily across the table to strangle the smirk off Oikawa’s face. ‘I can fight my own battles’, she mouths at him, willing him to stay in his seat, her hand still pressed firmly against his.

‘Well, you did ask me what first attracted me to Hajime, and I didn’t lie - I was really drawn by his looks’.

She inhales and lets herself be drawn back to the warmth of the memory of tumbling head first into Iwaizumi’s arms, and exhales to look squarely at Oikawa. ‘But then I fell for his kindness, his steadfastness, his patience - and when he told me he loved me, I felt as if the universe had handed me the sun, the moon and the stars’.

Her answer must have touched Oikawa’s shrivelled little heart, she thinks to herself, because something in his eyes shutters and a look of respect streaks across his face. ‘Well said, Chibi-chan, well said’, he says begrudgingly. ‘Iwa-chan is lucky to have you’.

The rest of lunch passes without incident, and when she and Iwaizumi are finally back home, he corners her as she’s about to go to bed and asks quietly - ‘Sweetheart, did you really mean all of that?’

‘Of course I do. I love you, Hajime. Do you need me to count the ways?’

‘Maybe’, he responds playfully, circling his arms around her as she pulls him to bed. She lies in his embrace, ear pressed to his chest and falls asleep to the steady thrum of his heartbeat, the ebb and flow of his breath, the rise and fall of his chest.

When Iwaizumi calls out that he’ll be gone to the bar down the street for an hour or two to vet Oikawa’s best man speech, she certainly did not expect him to burst back into their flat with Oikawa held bridal style in his arms. It would have been a comical sight - Oikawa’s bulky frame dwarfing even Iwaizumi, legs looking ludicrously long dangling over Iwaizumi’s arms - but for the frantic expression of Iwaizumi’s face and the desperate way Oikawa clings to Iwaizumi’s neck.

‘Idiot bumped his knee while doing shots’, Iwaizumi explains to her distractedly, as he settles Oikawa onto their couch. ‘I don’t think it’s serious, but I’ll take him to the doctor in the morning to check him out just in case. Brought him to our place since it’s closer than his hotel room, and I can keep an eye on him overnight’.

She hands him an ice pack. ‘Why don’t you two take our bed, and I’ll take the couch? He’ll be more comfortable that way, and you can watch over him at night.’

‘Are you sure?’ Iwaizumi frowns, and she nods, pushing him towards his friend while she turns to fetch a set of spare pyjamas for their unexpected guest. Iwaizumi lifts Oikawa to their bed and together, they strip him of his clothes and, mindful of his knee, gingerly slide him into clean clothes.

‘Iwa-chan’, she hears the lanky setter whine as she makes to leave the room to bring an extra ice pack. Turning her head, she catches a glimpse of Hajime bending over Oikawa’s form. She’s not sure if it’s a trick of the light, but she swears she saw Iwaizumi brush his fingers against Oikawa’s forehead with a quiet tenderness he’s only ever shown to her, tucking his hair behind his ears. For some reason, it makes her heart clench.

She’s gathering the discarded clothes up from the floor whilst Iwaizumi’s in the shower, when Oikawa shoots his hand out to grab her wrist. ‘I’m sorry’, he tells her, a plaintive note in his voice. ‘I tore it up – I should never have tried to tell him.’

‘What?’ She gives him a bewildered stare. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Iwa-chan’, he slurs, and she can smell the alcohol on his breath as she moves closer to him to catch his words. ‘He got mad with me, madder than I’ve ever seen him before.’

‘You mean Hajime? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn’t stay mad with you, whatever it is you’ve done.’

He shakes his head. ‘I’m sorry’, he manages to say, and starts to cry. She flounders, unsure whether to comfort him herself or call for Hajime to deal with him (because she’s not stupid, it’s painfully obvious he resents her), but the look in his eyes is so heartbreakingly vulnerable that she can't bring herself to leave him alone even for a minute, so she sits next to him on the bed, rubbing a soothing hand against his back while he soaks her sleeve with hot tears. ‘You’re drunk and injured, Oikawa-san. You should rest’, she murmurs, easing him back against his pillow when his sobs cease and he seems to calm down.

As she bends down again to pick up his clothes, he gives a cry of alarm and tries to grab her wrist again, almost flipping himself off the bed. Hearing the commotion, Iwaizumi rushes into the room, hair still wet from his shower, barking loudly ‘you idiot’, forcing Oikawa to lie back down onto the bed. She backs out of the room, leaving Hajime to comfort his sobbing friend.

She doesn’t think too much about Oikawa’s strange words, mentally writing it off as another one of his odd little quirks. But as she’s folding up his pants, a stack of torn papers falls out of its pocket, and she thinks she recognises the words ‘Iwa-chan’ scribbled all over it. Though she knows it’s wrong to invade his privacy – especially when he’s in no position to defend it, she can’t help but be curious, reasoning to herself that it must be his best man’s speech, she should at least vet through it once before the wedding.

It isn’t hard to piece the scraps of paper together, the tears uneven, as if made in a fit of panic or rage. It is, as she thought, Oikawa’s best man speech, and it starts out as expected, with well wishes to Iwaizumi and her. But as she continues reading, running her finger over each word, etched so harshly into each page that the ink bleeds, it becomes evident that that isn’t the only thing Oikawa meant to say.

‘I know it’s too late, but I love you, Iwa-chan’, she reads with growing horror on the very last page, a suspicious water stain next to these words. Mind whirling, unable to process what she’s just read, she sits at the kitchen table reading and re-reading his words until her vision starts to blur.

‘There are times I wonder if I chose wrong, if I should have held fast to you, the other half of my soul rather than going off to fight in hopeless wars, because I should have known you won’t always be waiting for me to come home. But I will always love you - like the moon loves the sun, even if I can only watch you from afar, so full of light’.

She should be furious – she should head straight to Oikawa and scream and shout and stamp her foot at him, because how dare he say these things now when he’s had forever to say them to Iwaizumi before she even came into the picture – how dare he wait until she and Iwaizumi are less than ten days away from being wed. But she doesn’t, because deep inside her, she understands.

How can she begrudge his love when they love the same man?

‘Sweetheart’, she faintly hears Iwaizumi say, squinting in the light as he emerges from the dark bedroom. ‘Is everything alright?’ he asks, his voice heavy with concern when he catches sight of her tear stained face.

She wants to tell him that everything’s just fine – but his gaze shifts to the torn papers in her trembling hands and she knows immediately everything is not fine at all when he looks back at her with guilt and anguish branded on his face.

‘Did you know?’ she asks, hating the way her voice starts to break.

‘He told me just now’, he tells her heavily, dropping into the seat across her, his hands cradling his head.

‘Do you love him?’ she demands, ignoring the sob that’s threatening to tear itself out of her chest.

He looks up at her. There are tears in his eyes.

‘Yes’, he admits. ‘I don’t want to, but I do’.

His words knock the oxygen from her lungs, leaving her with a crater in her chest. He loves Oikawa Tooru, this beautiful, brilliant, broken boy, incandescent with the light of a thousand stars.

Where does that leave her?

(Stranded in the dust, abandoned in the dark)

She suddenly feels as if she’s trapped in her own skin, a vise that’s far, far too tight, burning with the need to turn herself inside out. ‘I need to go’, she manages to spit out, stumbling over her feet. He stands in alarm, reaching towards her but she slaps his hand away. ‘Don’t touch me’, she hisses, grabbing her wallet and phone through a haze of tears.

‘Where are you going to go?’ he demands, barring the door with his large frame. ‘It’s late, it’s not safe.’

‘Anywhere that’s not here’, she snarls, trying to shoulder her way through. ‘Let me go, Hajime – I can’t stay here, please, let me go!’ She slams her fists against his chest, collapsing to the floor at his feet when she realises it’s impossible to break through the immovable force that is Iwaizumi Hajime.

‘Let me go somewhere that isn’t here’, she begs him, hiccupping through her tears. ‘You’re hurting me more by making me stay here with him’.

He sinks to his knees to cup her face in his hands. ‘I’m sorry’, he sobs. ‘I couldn’t bear it if I lose you too’.

She doesn’t have the heart to tell him he already has ( because she can’t stay, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts), and when her stillness convinces him it’s safe to turn his back to her for a second, she slips through the door and disappears into the night. She hears him shout her name, hears the anguish in his voice, but she doesn’t stop running until she’s safely ensconced in a nearby hotel room.

Her phone keeps buzzing through the night. ‘Iwaizumi Hajime ’, it reads, ‘Iwaizumi Hajime’, flashes on her screen, again and again. She tries her best to ignore it, turning her phone on to silent mode, leaving it face down on the dresser but she can’t - her ears still echoing with the heart wrenching panic in his voice. So she rolls over to her phone and sends him a text – ‘ I’m fine, go to bed, you have a doctor’s appointment with Oikawa to worry about tomorrow morning’ – quickly switching it off before he can flood her inbox with desperate calls and texts.

She tries her best to fall asleep, but she ends up lying awake, counting the cracks in the ceiling. The air in the room is far, far too still, and she feels like she’s suffocating, buried alive from the sand and dirt and earth pouring into the cavity in her chest. Against her better judgment, she uncorks the cheap spirits in the hotel minibar and pours herself shots, one after another, until she drops off to sleep with a single thought swirling around her head.

The universe isn’t fair - because first it gave her Hajime, then it took him away.

It is noon when she wakes, sunlight streaming mercilessly into the room. She sits up with a groan, rubbing a hand across her face. For a second, she wonders where she is, the monochrome sheets so different from the cheerful patterns she uses in their room, before reality slams into her like a comet to her chest.

Right. That happened .

She can scream and cry and try to scratch the face of fate but it won’t change matters. Hiding away from the world isn’t going to make the cruel joke that is her love life go away, so she grits her teeth and steels herself, washing her face and paying the bill before heading home (though if she’s honest with herself, she’s not sure if it’ll be home for much longer).

She prays to god or whatever deity there is out there (not the universe, it has a funny way of throwing shit her way) that Iwaizumi wouldn’t be home, but whatever it is, it’s definitely not listening because Iwaizumi opens the front door while she’s still struggling with her keys. It takes just one look at him for the pain in her chest to make its presence felt again.

‘How’s Oikawa’s knee?’ she casually inquires, edging around him to slip into the flat. Oikawa doesn’t seem to be around, so she lets herself relax just an inch.

‘It’s fine’, he responds, his eyes never leaving her face. ‘Just needs some rest’.

‘That’s good’, she says absently, heading straight for the kitchen, ignoring him as he follows her steps. ‘Have you eaten?’ she asks, pulling leftover rice and dashi stock out of the fridge. He nods dumbly as she heats them both up to assemble two bowls of Ochazuke . Her heart may be broken, but her stomach certainly isn’t, and she’s not about to let herself wither away. He looks at her dumbly as she slides his bowl at him, and neither of them says a word until she leans back in her chair, satisfied with her meal.

‘Are we going to talk?’ he asks her confusedly.

‘About last night? What is there left to talk about?’ she replies, keeping her composure firm. ‘The wedding’s off obviously, so we need to inform all our vendors and guests as soon as possible. I think I should be the one to move out of the flat – ‘

He cuts her off frantically – ‘What? Why would we call off our wedding? I still love you, and you still love me, don’t you?’

She gapes at him incredulously. ‘Hajime, you told me last night that you love Oikawa. How is our marriage going to work if you love someone else?’

‘But I love you’, he says, his voice cracking. ‘Isn’t that enough?’

No it isn’t, and she’s shaking her head because it isn’t enough, it’s never going to be enough, because he may love her but he’s in love with him – has been since they were little boys with stars in their eyes. And his shoulders shake and it’s his turn to cry because he loves her, he really does, he knows greed is a sin but he wants both him and her, and he wishes that it could be enough.

‘I’ve seen the way you look at him, and I’ve seen the way he looks at you’, she tells him, eyes dry, but there’s a tremble in her voice that she can’t hide - because she’s so stupid, she should have figured this out long before she dug out her heart and handed it to him - but then again maybe she didn’t because she was blinded by staring too long at the sun.

‘You will grow to resent me if I keep him from you and besides, how could I possibly compare?’

Because Oikawa Tooru, blessed with innate brilliance and cursed with a penchant for self-immolation, burns brighter than a thousand stars.

‘I’m sorry’, he tells her, rounding the table to drop to his knees before her, the look in his eyes so heartbreakingly sad that she has to choke back a sob. ‘You meant the world to me’, he whispers brokenly as he buries his face in her lap.

‘I know’, she answers him – and gods, her heart is screaming and it hurts - but she loves him so much she knows it’s only right to let him go. ‘But the world will move on, and you need to chase the stars while you still have them in your sight’.

At this, he lets out a quiet cry, and this time she gives in and joins him, her tears soaking his hair. He wraps his arms around her as she presses kisses into his skin and they stay that way for a while, their limbs entwined, because it finally dawns on both of them that this is it - it truly is the end of them.

The sun may set and the moon may rise, but the stars - they burn bright in the sky.

Her love for him should die (from earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust) – but it doesn’t.

She packs her life into cardboard boxes and shifts into her sister’s flat. Iwaizumi doesn’t allow her to pay for the cancellation of their wedding, takes all responsibility for informing their guests that the wedding’s off - he says it’s his fault after all, and she doesn’t resist, knowing it’s his way of trying to make amends.

His face crumples and he tries to refuse her when she returns his ring, but she insists - because it doesn’t feel right, she can’t seem to smile when the silver band catches the sun's light. He doesn’t tell her he keeps it in a box beside his bed, and opens it from time to time.

Oikawa manages to weasel her sister’s address out of Iwaizumi and appears on her doorstep the day before he’s due to return to Argentina with a bushel of white lilies in his arms.

‘Wait!’ he cries, catching the door with his foot as she tries to slam it into his face, cursing the reflexes of a professional athlete. ‘I won’t take too much of your time’, he promises, and she folds her arms, glaring at him expectantly.

‘I’m sorry. I’ve treated you and Hajime terribly, haven’t I’, he asks her shamefacedly.

‘You have’, she tells him coldly, because she desperately wants to blame him for everything bad that's come her way but when he hangs his head, she can’t help but soften her tone. ‘But I understand, Oikawa. How could I blame you when I love the same man?’

‘I don’t deserve your kindness’, he responds quietly, after a pause.

‘But you have it’, she tells him. ‘So live and be happy, for his and my sake’.

When he leaves, she closes the door and sinks to the floor, burying her nose in his offering of lilies. Its scent is cloying sweet, but she can only taste the bitterness of ash in her mouth.

A year later, and she’s back covering the Japanese men’s volleyball season when she runs into one Iwaizumi Hajime again.

He is the first to speak, asking her a genial ‘how are you’, to which she replies ‘fine’, though she really means - ‘I may be wounded, but I am still standing on my feet’. But Iwaizumi understands - he always does , and they stay silent for a while.

She picks up the courage to ask after Oikawa, and she knows he’s trying his best not to light up as he tells her that though he’s back in Argentina, they’re pursuing a long distance relationship. In turn, she tells him about her new boyfriend, ruefully mentioning that though she tried to stay clear of volleyball boys, Akaashi Keiji not only used to play volleyball in high school, but is the best friend (and former setter) of Bokuto Koutaro, national team player and self-proclaimed ace. He laughs at that - but she does not mention it is a relationship born out of the heartbreak reflected in both of their eyes.

‘Are you alright?’ he asks her before they part. It’s ironic because these are the first words he’s ever said to her, but she swallows the memory and this time she responds truthfully.

‘It’s a work in progress and I’m getting there, one day at a time’.

They exchange bittersweet smiles.

It’s enough for now.

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gayhotpriests · 3 years ago

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been here all along [fic]

Or; there are traces of Buck all over the Diaz household. 1.8 k

Read on ao3

The coffee maker beeps in the kitchen, the sound carrying all the way into the bedroom the second after Eddie turns off his alarm. A cool breeze comes in through the window Eddie left open last night by mistake, and in the couple steps it takes to go from the bed to the door, Eddie has picked up at least six different clothing items, not even all his, from the floor and the chair in the corner that soon gets tossed into the laundry basket. He stops briefly by Christopher’s room to make sure his son is awake (he’s not, and a cranky five more minutes is heard from under the covers) before going into the bathroom to start his own morning routine.

The bright, red firetruck print that greets him has never failed to make him smile, not once ever since one particular Thursday, maybe two years ago now, when Christopher and Buck spent a couple of hours in the mall looking for a birthday present for one of Chris’s friends but bought a very much not needed set of shower curtains instead, along with matching firetruck soap dispenser and cup. They even have little firefighters painted in the tiny plastic windows, and Christopher might be almost twelve now, but the day he gets tired of his Buck’s gift is yet to come.

A month into the school year, the Diaz family’s mornings have looked mostly the same every day, and this fine Monday proves not to be the exception, as Eddie finds out a few minutes later. A certain blond man is still asleep on Eddie’s couch, and instead of doing his workout, Christopher is sprawled on top of him, snoring lightly. Buck’s legs are twisted in an awkward angle to fit in the couch and one of his hands brushes the fluffy carpet beneath the sofa (the one he picked in an attempt to convince Eddie that his house needed personality), the other holding onto Chris, whose face is completely smushed against the other’s shoulder. Bright blue crutches that Chris has started to grow out of lay in a disorganized pile next to them.

(If Eddie’s heart beats a little bit faster- if his hands itch to hold them too and join the sleepy pile, well. They don’t need to know.)

“Alright, sleepy heads, school starts in an hour! Get up!”

Eddie owns a perfectly functional coffee maker, a classic machine with only one button and no special features, that makes his coffee the same way every day, and has done so for almost five years without signs of obsolescence. He’s a simple man with simple tastes, but Eddie’s perfect, simple coffee maker, is currently collecting dust inside a box in the attic.

A steaming cup of coffee, however, is waiting for him on the counter when he steps into the kitchen, complete with milk foam, a shot of caramel, and two sugars: the product of the stupidly expensive machine Buck and Chris had plotted to get him, with all the smart features and Starbucks level settings that Eddie did not need. Using the machine is extremely complicated, too, so once Eddie found out how to input the settings for his drink of choice, he stopped allowing anyone to mess with it. Eddie drinks the sweet concoction religiously every morning, without a fault.

He sips on his sugar bomb slowly as Buck cooks breakfast, eggs, and sausages with toast, fruit salad, and a cup of warm milk for the only kid in the house. The sound of the sizzling pan and the knife hitting the cutting board fills the room along with the smell of homemade breakfast, something that screams of home and family, uninterrupted until Christopher shows up fresh from the shower and in clean clothes, with his restless morning energy and promptly sets to chatting their ears off. Buck keeps the conversation alive and gets the boy to help with mixing the fruit salad while he recounts the last episode of their favorite cartoon they had seen together the previous night. Buck makes surprised sounds at the right times, throwing a few "No way! Tell me more!" for good measure, even though Eddie’s pretty sure he remembers the episode perfectly as he asks the right questions to launch Christopher off in another direction at least three times.

Eddie finishes his coffee, leaves the cup in the sink, and turns to the cupboard to start setting the table.

Three days before school started, Christopher told Eddie that he’s big enough to use big people knives and after a long phone call with his son’s Occupational Therapist, and another with his own therapist, they had gone to the store to get him a cutlery set that could allow him more independence while still on the safer side, and Buck had found the perfect one: the knife has a blunt tip and slightly serrated edge, and a round plastic handle decorated with tiny green and blue dinosaurs.

“Daddy, don’t forget the dinosaurs, please,” Christopher asks politely, just like every day, because he refuses to eat with any other fork or knife. Luckily the set came with six of each, so everyone can use them during breakfast as Christopher prefers.

“Yeah, and don’t forget the big spoon for the fruit salad,” Buck chips in, pointedly looking at Eddie. Clearly, he still hasn’t let go of the last few times he has forgotten the big spoon for the fruit salad. In less than five minutes, they’re seated around the table eating, Christopher’s feet kicking excitedly against Eddie’s when they congratulate him for the A he got in his latest science assignment.

Both his son and best friend clear their plates first, smiles on their faces accompanied by crinkled eyes as they laugh. Eddie has to scold Chris on talking with his mouth full only once- a new record, and Buck only twice, tapping him on the hand with the spoon, reminding him to lead by example and not be a terrible influence on the kid. Buck mumbles a sheepish sorry every time, ducking his head in embarrassment, and Eddie just rolls his eyes and shoots him a fond look. He watches them, joins the laughter when Buck teases him, or when Christopher tells a story from school, warmth filling him up from the inside out.

Soon enough, the time’s up and Christopher goes to brush his teeth and get ready to leave while Eddie and Buck load the dishwasher and wipe the countertops, barely any words exchanged as they move around the kitchen. Eddie checks the calendar by the fridge, next to Christopher’s old artwork and the polaroids held up by fruit magnets. PT at 11 am, Frank’s at 3 pm, reads in the bold block letters of Buck’s handwriting, under Eddie’s own scribble of C’s swimming lessons at 3.30 pm. Eddie makes a face at the overlapping schedule, chews on the inside of his cheek. He’s too late to ask Carla to take Christopher for him, as he gave her the week off a few days ago so she could go to DC for a certification. The last few therapy sessions had been at noon, but PT was pushed up to eleven and so his entire schedule was unexpectedly messed up, and Eddie will have to run from the clinic to Christopher’s school and then take him to the pool, but he’s not cleared to drive yet so he has to account for cab ride expenses and a whole new timeframe now, too. God, he should have gotten this figured out yesterday.

Back in El Paso, when Eddie had worked three jobs, he had once forgotten to pick Christopher up at school because his shift ran longer than usual, his phone died and the teachers were unable to reach him at the construction site. His parents had been called instead, being the second emergency contacts, and they had stared him down later at night while they told him all the reasons he was a bad dad and Christopher should live with them. Don’t drag him down with you, Eddie.

A hand lands on his healthy shoulder, right next to the base of his neck, and Eddie looks away from the calendar to meet a pair of bright blue eyes next to him. Buck watches him for a second before opening his mouth, careful.

“Hey, Eds, I noticed today looks a bit tight and I was thinking I could ask Bobby to let me out for an hour so I can go pick Chris up and drive him to his lessons, or maybe ask Maddie if I’m on a call,” he says, and the knots in his throat slowly start to dissolve, as he stares up to his friend’s calm face. His shoulders slowly start to relax, the injured one pulses with pain. The warmth of Buck's fingers makes the little hairs on his nape stand up as he swipes his thumb twice over the patch of uncovered skin in a comforting gesture.

“Yeah, thanks, man,” Eddie chokes out.

Buck smiles, and it’s all it takes. The fog lifts.

“Sure, I’ll text you in case I can’t make it so you can let the school know Mads is going to get him,” Buck continues, but he’s not touching Eddie anymore. Eddie takes a small step back, fidgets with the dishrag he still had in his hands as Buck starts to make his way to the living room, picking up his jacket, “you get to pick him up after, and already I left you guys some leftover stew for tonight's dinner in the fridge," Eddie keeps his eyes on Buck while he talks, takes a few steps closer to his friend, but not close enough. "I have a sixteen-hour today, so you tell Christopher goodnight for me, alright?”

“Of course,” his voice is too tight, and it must show because Buck bites his lip and reaches out his hand again, but doesn’t touch. At that moment Christopher burst back into the living room and yells out as if Buck isn’t right there to hear him.

“I’m ready, Buck!”

With a last smile, Buck turns to the door, putting on his shoes quickly and pulling his bag out of the hallway closet. Eddie leans down to place a smooch on his son’s cheek, which makes him laugh, and throw his head back with a loud “Bye, dad!” in his ear.

“Alright buddy, let’s go, let’s go!” Buck exclaims and Christopher bolts out the door, followed by his Buck, and Eddie stays at the threshold until he can’t see the Jeep past the corner of the street.

It’s barely eight o’clock and he still has chores to get done before PT, but Eddie just drops facefirst into the heap of blankets on top of the couch, drowning in the smell of his family and he aches for the picture he saw earlier that morning, sleep falling slowly over him like another blanket. A short nap is calling his name from the dream world, and the last thing he sees before going under is his pillbox for the pain meds next to a bottle of water, a pink post-it note stuck on the tag, big bold letters were carefully written on it. I know you forget but please take these before leaving home! xx. Buck.

Eddie falls.

#my fic #hey i wrote a thing #soft domestic buddie #pre relationship #buddipher #buck's love language is gift giving and acts of service #english is not my first language #buddie fic #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #christopher diaz #buckley diaz family #be kind im nervous #oneshot

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michelangelinden · 4 years ago

Text

Please wash your grapes (even if you’re tired)

I think we all remember our excitement when Booboo uploaded this picture on his instagram. Well, I went and wrote a fic about it.

This is for @iti-iskuna�� because she gave me the idea and I love her and @willexxmercer because they’re our local Booboo simp and I also love her!! Also thanks to @sunsetcurbed for beta reading, I love you too!! /p

so here you go, have fun reading it!!

Please wash your grapes (even when you’re tired) - 1.8k taglist and AO3 link in the reblog

“No – Luke, no, I won’t – no, shut up!” Alex stops in front of the door, groaning in annoyance. “I have finals coming up but I won’t leave the band for it, stop – no, stop accusing me of that!” He pushes his hand in his jeans pocket, rummaging for his key while listening to Luke’s angry rambling.

“– and you always leave early and –“ Luke continues but Alex, having pushed his key into the lock, interrupts him.

“You know what, Luke? Shut up! It’s 11:30, I’m tired as shit. Good night!” He pulls his phone away from his face and cuts Luke’s rushed rambling off by pressing the red button on his screen so hard it hurts his thumb. He groans again and leans forward, leaning his forehead against the cold surface of the door.

Fuck Luke, honestly. He and his music filled head can get too dense sometimes, not allowing him or his bandmates a life outside their band. Everything is always about it, but it seems like it gets worse when finals season is around.

He has to understand that they all have bachelor’s degrees to work on and jobs to pay their rent and groceries with and don’t have the time to have band practice every day. Alex really doesn’t get how he has the headspace to think about the band so much on top of his everyday life. Normally he would admire him for it but tonight he’s just so tired, he has a massive headache from studying and just really wants today to be over with.

The key turns in its lock and the door opens. He leaves the stuffy hallway behind and is welcomed by the familiar air of his apartment. Comfort fills his chest and clears his head almost immediately. Spotting Willie's vans that are lying awkwardly next to their shoe shelf helps too. Coming home after a long day really is an underappreciated feeling.

The apartment is quiet apart from the systematic ticking of their clock in the kitchen, tick-tock-ticking its way into Alex’s blood stream, calming his last nerve. When they first got it he was so sure it would annoy him all the time, but now it serves as the rhythm underlying all of his Willie's actions. It’s comforting to hear it after such a busy day.

He’s spent almost all of it at the library. He went there first thing in the morning, leaving with not much more than a bite into an apple and a kiss to Willie's cheek, before rushing to get the bus. He only left the library to get a sandwich for his, probably much too short, lunch and dinner breaks, texting in the group chat that he wouldn’t make it to band practice today, because Kant was kicking his butt.

But that’s where the mess with Luke started. He wouldn’t stop bugging him about it until just five minutes ago, so far, that Alex had to turn his phone off to not be disturbed anymore.

He kicks off his own shoes, bending down to put them into their appropriate place and placing Willie's next to them.

The lights in their small hallway are turned off, so Willie is probably already in bed. He doesn’t want to wake him, so he walks into the kitchen quietly, avoiding the squeaky floorboard. He carefully drops his backpack next to the kitchen table, zipping it open to get his reusable coffee mug out. He needs to clean it so he can use it again tomorrow. He won’t get around another full day of studying, exams are edging closer and he feels very much not prepared.

He passes the fruit basket on his way to the sink. He plucks off a grape, rubbing it on his shirt before popping it into his mouth, too lazy to wash a single one. He listens to the ticking of the clock while he cleans his mug, letting the sweet juice of the grape fill his mouth, washing away the numb taste of chewing on his lip and not drinking enough. He doesn’t bother drying the mug, just places it unscrewed and upside down on the counter, putting a spoon underneath to let it air dry.

He turns around and leans back against the counter. He can feel his eyes drooping dangerously. The exhaustion of the day finally catches up to him but he’s glad it’s happening now and not during his study session.

He plucks off another grape on his way out of the kitchen and just eats it straight away without even rubbing it against his shirt. He’s too tired to care.

Brushing his teeth is absolute torture. He feels his limbs growing heavier with every passing second, his eyes dropping closed more often and he stubs his toe against the bath getting a new towel from the cupboard. He’s a mess and he needs to sleep.

He stumbles around the bathroom, changing out of his shirt and jeans and into a hoodie and pajama shorts. His legs may get warm while sleeping but his torso really doesn’t, it doesn’t matter how much Willie clings to his back at night.

Yawning, he flicks off the bathroom light, slouching through the hallway until he reaches their bedroom. The door is slightly ajar, the faint glow of Alex’s bedside lamp, that Willie always keeps on when he goes to bed before Alex, casting soft shadows on the carpet. Soft snoring noises are coming from the inside. He pushes the door open carefully, quiet enough to not wake his boyfriend.

He steps through the doorframe, turning off the hallway lights and closing the door behind him before turning around and finally facing his bed, the place he has longed for for too many hours of this day.

He stops in his tracks at the sight in front of him.

Willie is asleep, yes, but he probably didn’t plan to be. He’s laying in bed, sweatpants low around his hips, his chest bare and an arm placed in front of his body, as if he’d been pushing himself up on it and laid down for just a second, just to rest his eyes. There are ring binders and papers and books strewn all across the sheets, half opened, a pen still clutched in his other hand and one, two highlighters tucked beneath a folder. He has his hair tied back in a French braid, strands escaping and laying featherlight on his skin. His face is completely lack of tension, his eyebrows smoothed out and his jaw unclenched, and he looks so, so relaxed, like he hasn’t in a while.

Affection blooms in Alex’s chest, bubbles up in his stomach, and he feels his cheeks grow warm. His fingers itch to be closer to him, to take away his stress and keep him so blissful for as long as he needs to be.

His eyes trace the smooth lines of his body, his back, his shoulders. They focus on the dark tattoos etched into his skin, the small ghost riding a skateboard on his ribs, a line from his favorite song on his lower arm, a drumstick on his wrist. Alex blinks slowly, taking in the familiar picture of him, the one he’s seen so many times but could look at forever.

He steps closer slowly, the sound of his socked feet muffled on the carpet. He reaches the bed and wishes for nothing more than to just crawl inside, pull him closer and fall asleep right next to him, not a worry in the world. But he won’t enjoy waking up between crinkled papers tomorrow, a pen poking into his back and the letters of Willie's books printed on his cheek. So, he starts picking the stuff up, placing it onto the floor next to him, trying to keep the order he remembers seeing on Willie's desk, to make it easier for him to continue his studying tomorrow. He closes the last book, keeping one of the pens inside to hold the page, before sitting down on the mattress next to Willie.

He sits and stares for a minute, watches the slow rise and fall of his chest, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, soft breaths escaping him. Alex lifts his hand to Willie's face, brushes a soft strand behind his ear, settling his palm on his cheek and stroking his cheekbone with a gentle thumb.

Willie stirs slightly at the touch, his eyes blinking open. His gaze finds Alex’s and a tired smile grows on his lips.

“Hey,” he greets him, his voice deep, sleep pushing down on it. He moves his arm closer, the back of his hand pushing against the side of Alex thigh. A finger dips beneath the seam of his shorts, his knuckle stroking his skin softly. “You’re home.”

“Yeah,” Alex answers, keeping his voice quiet. He watches Willie's eyes droop closed again and he takes his hand, squeezing a little, before letting go. “Go back to sleep, Sweetheart.”

Willie chuckles a little, keeping his eyes closed but patting the space next to him.

“Come,” he whispers. “Please.”

Alex can’t help but smile. He shifts his position, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss onto Willie's forehead. Willie moves his head, pushing closer into Alex’s space, his fingers closing around the sleeve of Alex’s hoodie.

“Stay,” he whispers, even more quiet than before, and who is Alex not to comply.

He toes off his socks and pulls his legs up onto the bed, pulling the blanket from around their feet and over them both. He leans back finally, his head settling into the pillow, his left arm outstretched.

Willie pushes closer immediately, placing his head on Alex shoulder and snaking his arm around his midriff, warm and heavy. He shifts until his whole body is pressed up against him, his legs tangling with Alex’s, wanting – needing – to be as close as possible, melting into his side like he belongs there. He does, Alex, thinks, as he pulls him in, letting his left hand ghost over Willie's bare shoulders. It causes goosebumps and Alex pulls the blanket up a little higher.

Willie presses a kiss against his shoulder.

“I missed you,” he tells him, his voice soft and distant, already dipping into sleep.

Alex feels warmth go through his entire body and he squeezes him.

“I missed you, too,” he answers him, his own voice slipping away, kissing the top of Willie's head and smiling against it, when he feels him snuggling closer.

Coming into his apartment after a long day of studying, feeling the comfort of the familiar environment melt away the stress and headaches, is a feeling of coming home that Alex never appreciates enough.

But this. Being half asleep in bed, his love pressed impossibly close to him. His head pillowed in the soft sheets and Willie's on his chest. Their legs tangled together and their arms around each other. The distant ticking of their clock, the anticipation of waking up tomorrow, still as close as they are now. That is a feeling of coming home that Alex will never get used to and that he will love forever.

#i am so soft for them #alex appreciates willie's beauty #as he should #i had so much fun writing this!!!#please tell me what you think #rated t because i let alex say fuck #willex #willie nolastname #willie wilbur williamson #willie jatp #alex mercer #alex jatp #booboo stewart #owen patrick joyner #julie and the phantoms #jatp

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achliegh · 3 years ago

Text

Golden

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 6:

Boondocks

Man! I Feel Like A Woman

Dumo’s house was full, the entire team was over to watch the last ride of Leo’s summer in the US. After this he was going to Brazil to finish out the season, Clayton’s season would be over after tonight but he and Regulus would be joining Leo anyway. They had decided that the day after Leo got home from Brazil that the team and some of their significant others would travel down to Leo’s ranch and stay there. Finn and Logan tried to convince Leo to let the team stay somewhere else because there was no way there would be enough room but Eloise insisted.

So everyone decided to get together to watch this rodeo, kids, adults, babies and all. Finn was sitting on the couch with Marc on one side and Katie on the other. Logan flopped into his lap and rested his head back on his shoulder as Finn sent his usual good luck texts to Leo. Every time the event came on after commercials a song that reminded them all of Leo would play and there would be highlights of the people competing. The only part of the song that would play is: “ I feel no shame, I’m proud of where I came from.”

The only little shot of Leo they could find in the weird transition was of him swinging around the Louisianan flag after hearing his scores. It was kinda cute.

Today Leo was scheduled to ride Canadian Mist, a big bad bucking bull from up north. This bull had its states read off while they were showing Leo getting comfy on him. He was already trying to slam him off, Leo would just pat his side anytime he jolted him around and smiled. Leo was just about ready when suddenly the chute door opened and Mist went flying out the doors.

Leo, having not been completely ready, was thrown forward so his head smashed his face on the poll of the bull, right where the horns meet the forehead. Letting go of the rope he flies off, standing he sees Canadian charging towards him so he gets himself in the chute and closes the door. Catching his breath he waits for an announcement of a reride or of a score.

Logan was now on his feet and Finn was sitting forward as everyone watched the camera zoom in on his face. Leo looks up as someone hands him his hat, he nods a thank you, they see a small dribble of blood coming from a minor cut just below his eye.

The speakers come on and announce Leo is granted a reride after watching the footage back. The smile he has on his face basically lights up the whole arena.

Once Canadian Mist was back in the chute and Leo was properly situated this time. The doors were opened. Mist is a forty-five degreer, pulling those angles like it's nothing. Leo held tight for as long as he could, his tongue sticking out of his mouth as he concentrated. After one wildly sharp turn his arm gave out and he got bucked off. Mist was much easier to corral this time back into the pens. Leo rolled his shoulder a little and started walking towards the arena exit gates to get checked over by sports medicine.

A camera followed him back to the table to catch his reaction while they read off his scores. He nodded at his alright scores and gave a thumbs up to the camera knowing he wasn't going to place this time.

Clay didn’t compete for another hour and was on the phone with his mother while Reg used Peanut like a bed and took a nap. Leo decided it was too loud near the arena to call his boys so he walked back to the trailer. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he clicked on Finn’s sleeping face to Facetime him.

Finn heard the ringing of his phone and knew exactly who it was. He grabbed Logan and answered the phone in the living room where everyone was chatting and watching other people ride.

“Nice Ride!” Finn smiles bright at him, wrapping an arm around Logan who just sinks into his side.

“Why do you do this to yourself, you’re going to get hurt Leo.” Logan looks at him worried but also smiling which is an odd combination.

“ I’ve been doing it since I was 10. I'll be fine.” He sees them say something but can’t hear them from how loud people are cheering in the background. “I can’t hear you, can you go somewhere quieter?”

Finn and Logan share a smirk and wander downstairs to Logan’s room. Closing the door they flop on the bed stomach first and set the phone up against the pillows so it's standing on its own.

“Do you get an adrenaline kick from riding bulls?” Logan asked as he felt Finn’s hand oh so casually slip under his shirt rubbing his back.

“Yes I do, that's why I keep doing it.” Leo smiles as he sets his phone up on a table against a wall as he starts changing out of his rodeo get up into his normal yeehaw clothes.

“Hey, give us a peak!” Finn smiles as he hears Leo’s laugh, Leo turns on the lamp they have in the back and he puts his arms out to the side and spins around.

“Good?”

“Non.”

“... Okay horndogs, I’ll get naked if you do.” He smiles smugly and crosses his arms, he was not expecting them to get naked so fast at A FAMILY FUNCTION. What the hell. He just blinks at them for a minute and then laughs. “ Okay, okay hold on, I don’t want to scratch my new buckle.” Leo smiles as he hears them sigh at him, rolling his eyes he unbuckles his belts and slips it off carefully setting it next to his phone. Slipping off the rest of his clothes he looks up at them.

Now Leo has never been one for being shy but when two extremely beautiful people are looking you up and down like they want to gobble you up. You have this urge to cover yourself. Finn and Logan had moved round so Logan was sitting in between Finn’s legs and leaning back into his chest. Logan already looked dizzy with pleasure, his face was red and his breathing was already heavy.

Leo’s mouth was suddenly very dry, he felt himself harden at the snap of a finger. Finn smirked at him, having accumulated lube sometime when Leo was distracted he wrapped a hand around Logan and gave him a tight tug, quickly covering his mouth with his other hand because they suddenly remembered other people were in the house.

Logan pushes back into Finn’s chest and looks directly at Leo as Finn keeps working him, trying to keep himself quiet but also losing all self awareness in the moment. His eyes met Leo’s who just stared at him like he was frozen.

“Like what you see?” Finn smiles at Leo as his own breath catches as he grinds against Logan’s back. Leo nods slowly and looks around for a second, clay usually brings lube because… well he's Clayton. Leo shuffles through his bag to find some because he really didn’t feel like using his fucking spit. Making a noise of triumph he helps himself to his best friend's lube, he'd apologize later, or not.

Moving back into view he sees that Logan has taken Finn’s fingers into his mouth to keep him quiet as Finn moves his hand faster up and down Logan's leaking cock. Leo starts stroking himself in time with Finn’s hand and takes a shaky breath, reaching his hand into his hair he tugs out of habit and groans, closing his eyes for a second. Lazily opening his eyes half way he watched as Finn shifts a little and he flushes from his ears down to his neck.

Logan feels himself getting close and grips Finn’s thighs tight to let him know, he feels the hand on him speed up and twist at the head and his whole body goes taut. His head goes empty while he rides out his organism with Finn holding him in place with the hand back over his mouth, holding him to his chest. His heart is beating fast and he is lightly covered in sweat. When he comes back to his senses he blinks his eyes open to see Leo staring in awe, he looks up to see Finn wiping his hand on a towel that was balled up on the end of the bed because Logan can’t seem to figure out where the laundry basket is. Finn gives him a kiss on the side of the head and reaches to move Logan over to lay down. But, Logan has other plans: he grabs Finn’s hand and puts them on his waist.

“One more, I can do it.” He looks up at Leo who groans at Logan’s words. Finn tilts his head to the side a little confused at first, now that Logan has regained most of the feeling in his limbs he reaches over to grab the lube. Maneuvering Finn how he wants him, he straddles his thighs facing Leo, who is looking as confused as he is horny.

Finn catches on and takes the lube from Logan’s slightly shaky hands and whispers for him to relax as he reaches down to feel how lose Logan is from when they had sex earlier in the day. Feeling that he's still ready for Finn, he lubes up and puts his hands on Logan’s waist. Kissing between his shoulders as he feels Logan sink down on his cock. A little tight but nothing Logan doesn’t love.

Leo watches as Logan’s face completely opens up, his eyes going glassy and unfocused. His thighs shake slightly as he lifts himself up and down. Leo grips himself at the base as he watches Logan set the pace, he refuses to cum until Finn has. He sees the way Finn’s fingers dig into Logan’s side and Leo wants to mark Logan like that too. He could tell that Logan was already close again, Finn was resting his face in the crook of Logan’s neck as he moved his hips just right.

It isn’t long until Finn gives a warning to Logan, who pulls off and moves to the side to finish Finn off by sucking him off. Finn grips his hair as his eyes roll back and he cums down Logan's throat. Logan pulls off and has a familiar glow to him, he has cum again making a mess on Finn’s leg. Leo, watching the whole thing, finally cums into his hand and cleans up with some paper towels he has in the trailer. He tugs his boxer briefs back on and sits on the ground for a minute to catch his breath.

“Jesus Christ, we should do this more often.” Leo smiles at them as they laugh a little.

“It would be better if you were here with us wouldn’t it?” Leo nods and stands up again to get dressed in jeans and a shirt. “When does Clay compete? We didn’t make you miss it did we?”

Leo looks at the time in his phone as he buckles his belt back up. “I should probably go.” He lifts his hands over his head to stretch and yawns a little, putting his hat on. “I’ll call y’all when I get home alright?” They all say their goodbyes and hang up.

“Come on, let's get cleaned up?” Finn cups Logan's face and smiles when he leans into his hand, his eyes are tired but swimming with happiness.

“Finn.” Logan calls his attention as he finishes wiping them up, tossing his clothes on he looks at Logan who had stretched out on the bed like a starfish. Smiling he crawls on top of Logan and brackets him in with his hands on either side of Logan's head and his knees on either side of his hips. Resting his forehead on the brunets he hums.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Logan can’t help the laugh that rushes out of him as Finn starts peppering his face in kisses and blows a raspberry on his cheek. Still giggling he catches Finn’s face in his hands and rubs a thumb under his eye. “We are going to love Leo.”

“Yeah we are.”

Climbing the stairs after having a dick in your ass was not ideal, having Finn carry him he gets set down in the kitchen and drinks a glass of water. What they failed to notice was Dumo was in the kitchen watching them.

“Boys, I have one rule… Do you remember what it is?” His arms were crossed and he was tapping his foot. A real stereotype.

“....Don’t have sex in the house.” Logan was looking into his glass as Finn was looking everywhere but at Dumo.

“Remember that!” He huff and ruffles Logan’s hair and pats Finn’s cheek, a little aggressively mind you, walking past them to the living room.

Brazil was very warm and Reg was melting. He has seen so many spiders and animals just following around Leo like some weird ass Disney princess. The bulls weren't as aggressive but knew how to throw people off. Leo was doing extremely well.

“Here.” Leo hands Reg his sixth bottle of water in the last four hours. “Are you sure you want to do this? We can always go without you?”

“Rude.” Reg was finishing filling out the paperwork so he couldn't sue the skydiving company. “I want to go, it's something I’ve always wanted to do.” He smiles when Leo ruffles his hair, they haven’t gotten hair cuts in a while and all their hair was long. Reg’s was curling around his neck and ears. Leo’s was past his chin and almost always pushed back under his hat. Clays has gotten so wild he can’t wear a hat anymore without having Leo braid his hair. They all decided that when they got back to Gryff they were going to cut each other's hair.

Blowing his hair off his forehead Reg hands his papers to the secretary who gave him a flirty wink. He just nodded awkwardly back and looked at Leo for help. Reg has been trying to figure out why he isn’t like Leo and Clay during this trip around the country and now out of the country.

Girls would throw themselves at him but he wasn’t interested in the slightest and the guys noticed. So, they started acting like his ‘boyfriend’ to get him out of the situation. Reg also wasn’t interested in men or anyone who identified as others, he didn’t feel anything for anyone. At least not in a sexual or romantic way.

It scared him.

He was never one who wanted relationships, but being around Clay who exudes hypersexal energy and Leo who is so smitten with his boys that he can talk about their faces for an eight hour drive. He just wasn’t interested, he wanted to talk to Clay and Leo about it but he didn’t want to scare them off. They are the only friends he has ever had that weren’t only friends with him because of parents, or hockey, or money…. But never just for him.

Sometimes he wonders if Sirius asked them to be friends with him.

“Ready!” Clay and Leo both clap a hand on his shoulder and smile as they all finish getting into their diving gear. He nods, his mind still reeling with all the feelings he's been keeping to himself. Maybe he should take the fall and tell his friends about his feelings.

Up in the plane Reg was realizing what he had gotten himself into. The instructors who have known Leo and Clay for years, of course, Reg was standing in between the two yeehaws and fidgeting with a strap on his pack. He was still lost in his own world when they got the okay to jump.

Clay went first, throwing himself out of the plane without hesitation.

Leo was next, turning around to make sure Reg was behind him. Smiling, he falls backwards out of the plan while saluting Reg.

Walking towards the open door he looks down seeing the other two falling without fear. He decides he wants to fall without fear as well, checking the monitor on his wrist that tells him when to pull the chute.

He jumps.

Logan was bouncing in his seat as Finn followed the Google's directions to Leo’s ranch, Noelle and Lily were in the back talking about how nice it was not listening to James and Thomas squeal about seeing cows. The whole team and their significant others were coming to stay at Leo’s, they don’t know where they are going to stay because Ranches are usually small and dusty with a couple of horses.

Or at least they were on TV. Looking out the windows as the trees opened up into a huge open plot of land. Horses were wandering in pastures looking majestic, like horses do. It was a good five more minutes of driving and looking at all these horses playing around with each other, when they finally reached the entrance gate. They pull to a stop as the gates are closed and there is a speaker. The few cars and the van behind them come to a stop as well.

The gate and arch above it was giant. The arch was made of thick metal with a swinging board with ‘Knut’s Walking Ranch’ in rustic looking lettering swinging in the wind. The gate was beautifully made with little shapes of horses in the pattern. Finn cautiously rolls down his window and presses a button.

“Hello?” He waits for an answer from Leo but instead Clay and Reg start shouting over the intercom.

“WELCOME TO BOOTCAMP BITCHES!” The gate makes a clicking noise and slowly opens. Noelle was laughing in the back seat and sending the video she got of those two yelling and sending it to her boyfriend.

They weren’t expecting to drive another four minutes until they pulled into a large dirt parking lot. Parking and getting out, Finn puts a hand up to shield his eyes from the sun and looks around. There are circle fences with single horses in them, these horses don’t look like the ones in the pastures.

Finn knows nothing about horses and he doesn’t try to act like he knows but he thinks they are different breeds. He looks to the other side of the parking lot and there are more fences, one with Leo in it. He is in a dark grey cut off and his normal jeans, belt, boots, and hat. He is swinging a rope in a circle by his side as he follows a horse in a circle.

Watching him he sees the rest of the team also looking at Leo, who appears to be in his own world. The horse tries to go the other way and Leo clicks at it, the horse goes the other way and Leo praises him.

After a couple of minutes Leo turns around and stands still, breathing hard, the horse walks up behind him and sniffs his neck. The relieved smile that platers itself on Leo’s face is one that makes the sun seem dull, turning to rub the snoot and kiss the side of the horse's head he finally realizes that an entire hockey team was watching.

“Oh, Hi!” He laughs and climbs over the fence to walk over to them. “Welcome to the ranch, I know it's not much but it's home. Now, let's get y’all settled. Follow me.” He leads them over to a large house next to the gigantic barn, opening the door he lets them in. “This is the ranch hands house, they help Mama take care of the ranch during the summer. My cousins take over the ranch during the fall and winter because Mama and I are usually on vacation.” He gives them the grand tour and lets them choose rooms and unpack. “I think Clay and Reg have the radio that is connected to the speaker out front. Did they tell you where they were?”

“Your hair is so long.” Finn runs his hands through Leo’s hair as he is using his hat to fan himself. “I like it.” Leo kisses the side of his head. And Logan makes a noise of offense.

“I want one!” Leo rolls his eyes but can’t help but feel special. Giving Logan his own forehead kiss he corrals everyone back outside. Just in time to see Clay and Reg racing each other on Leroy and Peanut down the fence line. “I swear”

“I WON SUCK IT REG!” Clay trots over to them triumphantly, having rode horses all his life it was obvious that he was going to win. He smiles, his perfectly white teeth and tips his hat at Noelle, winking. He stops in front of the group and starts counting all of them. “Ma is gonna want to make a lot of food for y’all. Especially because Eloise isn't here.” He pulls out his phone and starts texting his mother.

Thomas was just staring at Clay with a cluster fuck of emotions, Noelle notices and takes his hand. Her heart is hammering in her chest as well. They had both been talking to Clay for the three months he was away over the summer. It all started friendly but then one night Thomas slipped up and mentioned how he flirts with Clay without even realizing it.

Noelle and him had a long talk about Clay that night. It’s different discussing him as someone they only interact with over the phone. Seeing him in person, tall, lean and being highlighted in the sun. They shared a look of ‘What the fuck are we going to do?’ Thomas has been sending memes and slightly flirty texts for about a month longer than Noelle has but they know this isn’t something they can just shove under the rug and forget. Clay was someone who would stick with them forever.

“Hey, that's not fair Peanut is fat!” Reg trots over and pats Peanuts head when he snorts in protest.

“Oh my god, he is not fat Reg, he is a different breed.” Leo rolls his eyes. “Anyway, I have someone coming to pick up Trixie in four hours so lets go to the main house.” Leo starts walking towards the house and everyone but Clay, Thomas, Noelle, Reg and Sirius follow him. They go to the stable to set peanut and Leroy up for the next couple of hours.

That night after Judy comes over with a feast of food and everyone eats themselves into a coma, everyone goes to their rooms for the night. Reg and Clay stayed in two of the guest rooms. Leo, Finn and Logan all go up to Leo’s room.

Opening the door to a room the size of Finn’s living room in his apartment, which is quite large mind you, Logan and Finn stop in their tracks. Posters and mirrors are everywhere, the bed that takes up half the room with camouflage covers on it and four posts with curtains stares them right in the face. The wood floor is smooth and matches the wood paneling on the walls. Leo turns on the lights and it shows off the glossy wood stain on his tables and chairs set up in the corner with the book cases overflowing. Some pieces of clothing are thrown on the floor and several pairs of boots line the entire left side of the room. The windows are from floor to ceiling behind the boots with heavy curtains bunches gracefully on the side.

“Y’all can set your stuff in the closet if you want.” Leo leads them over to these two heavy wooden doors and opens them by sliding them. Walking into another smaller room with carpet and white walls, they notice how many clothes Leo has. It’s a lot but most of it seems to be…

“Do you have an entire section just dedicated to sexy clothes?” Logan walks over to some satin thigh high socks that are hung up so they don’t wrinkle.

“I take a lot of sexy pics, and I might as well look good. Do you like it?” Leo smirks a little as those two drop their bag and start rummaging through all his clothing.

“Love it!” They start working together to put an outfit together for Leo to put on. Leo just sits on his little ottoman in the middle of the room and watches them, amused. They end up pulling out some red thigh high fishnets and a pair of black silk jock strap…

“Remind me to never let y’all pick out my clothes.” Leo laughs a little at their offended faces and shoos them out of the closet so he can get dressed, or undressed. He ends up trading out the jock for a matching red high waisted thong. Losers can’t even pick out sexy clothes right.

He hears some stumbling around the room outside the closet and just shakes his head. He opens the doors and pokes his head out to hear Finn and Logan trying to stifle their laughter behind the closed curtains around his bed. ‘I swear they are younger than me sometimes.’ Leo thinks to himself. Walking over to the curtains he throws them open scaring Finn so he screeches. Bursting out laughing Leo holds his stomach and throws his head back.

“Scare ya? What are you doing anyway?” He puts his hands on his hips and smiles. Forgetting what he is wearing for a second he raises an eyebrow at how the boys have gone completely silent and their mouths are hanging up. He looks down and remembers, snorting. “Horndogs” He reaches his hands under both of their jaws and closes their mouths. “You’ll catch flies.” He stands back up and grabs the back of the necks of their shirts and pulls them off as the two raise their arms still in a daze. Turning around he hears a groan and a loving sigh, smiling he folds the shirt and tosses them on the floor for no reason.

Next thing he knows there is a slap on his ass right where his skeleton hand is and he whips his head around to see Logan standing and smiling innocently at him with his hands behind his back while Finn has a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing, both have obvious flushes on their faces down to their chests. Finn’s being super red compared to Logan's because of his pasty skin.

“Alright boys, what's the plan for tonight, we can be as loud as we want.” He winks as he pushes Logan back on the bed and straddles him. “The room is soundproof.” He looks at Finn and motions him over with his finger. Finn scrambles to his side like a puppy.

“I want to try something…” Logan looks at both of them with a nervous look on his face as he runs his hands up and down Leo’s sides and thighs. “I want both of you… at the same time.” He looks up at them, nervous and hopeful. He has never wanted something like this before but the thought of it already has him hardening in his shorts.

“Baby that's a lot… are you sure?” Finn runs a hand through his hair looking as shocked as Leo, both getting that horny glint in their eyes that Logan loves. Smiling dopily Logan nods.

“That's going to take a lot of prep, I know you’re impatient but you will need to be patient with this okay?” Leo is looking at him seriously, biting his lip. “You can tell us to stop at any time and we will stop, no matter when it is or what we are doing, okay?”

“Leo I know, I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn't already trust you two with everything.” Logan smiles into a sweet kiss that Leo steals from him after he finished talking.

“Let's get started then.” Leo smiles when he pulls away, putting his hand on the back of Finn’s neck he pulls him close and whispers something in his ear. Leo slides off Logan and wanders back into the closet for a moment.

Finn undresses Logan the rest of the way and starts to suck him off, he gets Logan to a state of almost coming in minutes. Feeling a hand on his back he pulls off, looking at Leo he leans in for a kiss and Leo shoves his tongue into his mouth wanting to taste Logan. Speaking of Logan, Leo pulls away and looks at him.

“This is how it’s going to go, I have never done this before but I want to make sure you are 100% comfortable while we do this. I’ve got lube, obviously, I have a viberator that’s small.” Leo shows him the baby blue vibe that was the length of his palm, Logan could barely focus as Finn has gone back to deep throating him as Leo Talks. Just nodding to Leo that he sees it. “And we have our fingers, I want to get you off twice before we even start prepping you. From the crazy amounts of porn I watched when I was younger, aka up until last year, I think I have an idea of what I’m doing.” He smiles innocently as Finn choked from laughing at what he said. Pulling off and coughing/laughing he pats Leo’s chest.

“I’m going to need you to shut the fuck up.” Finn shakes his head smiling and gives Logan a couple of tugs with his hand and watches as he cums on his hand and his own stomach.

Not giving him enough time to blink himself out of his daze, Leo and Finn flip him over, face down ass up. Getting him off a second time, one jerking him off, one leaving hickeys on his thighs and ass.

They get Logan’s verbal consent to start prepping him. One finger soon turns to one of each of theirs, to three, to two of each, to the vibe , to two and the vibe. Logan came for a third time when a third finger was added with the vibe. Logan was so loud and they loved it, he was completely gone on the feelings of pleasure running through his body.

“Imready” Logan mumbles as Finn sits him up and cradles him in his lap, he is sweating and hot all over. He sees Leo in front of him and smiles a little delirious.

“I’m guessing you said you were ready?” Finn whispers in his ear, Leo puts Logan's legs over his hips and scooches as close as he can get. Logan nods and leas his head back on Finn’s shoulder, closing his eyes for a moment. Finn lifts Logan by his hips and lines up whispering how much he loves Logan into his ear, Slowly pushing in Logan lifts his head and grabs Leo’s shoulders pulling him impossibly closer.

“Toi aussi! Toi aussi!” Leo smiles and gives him a quick peck as Finn slowly moves in and out of Logan making his horse voice crack. Leo looks at Finn for the okay. Finn nods a little and leans forward so the kiss over Logan’s shoulder.

Pulling away Leo lines himself up after adding a generous amount of lube, pressing his forehead to Logan’s and starts to press in. Logan pressed his forehead against Leo’s harder and some tears fall from his eyes. Leo pauses halfway in.

“Tell me how- fucking hell- how you're feeling Lo.” Leo is panting and spares a second to look at Finn who looks like he is about to explode from how he is completely still for Logan.

“More.” He looks at Leo in a way that is pleading for more but he is mumbling so fast that more is the only word either Finn or Leo catch. Leo continues to press the rest of the way. Logan tries to start moving up and down on them but his legs are so tired and shaky he can’t. Making a noise of frustration, he whines and digs his nails into Leo’s back as he starts to move out of sync with Finn. Dragging his nails across Leo’s back he throws his head back pulling Leo’s face into his chest as Finn marks up his neck.

Finn broke first, Wrapping his arms around Logan’s waist and pulling him tighter to his chest he groaned as he felt it dripping down Logan’s thighs. Logan breaks second, for the fifth time and he tenses up between the two and just falls back onto Finn after he finishes. Leo followed Logan by a few seconds. Being the first to pull out, Leo gets up to go grab warm wash clothes and to start running a bath, knowing Logan is going to need it.

He comes back after cleaning himself off, realizing he is still in his fishnets… he doesn’t even remember taking off his underwear but whatever. He peels them off and tosses them near the laundry basket.

Getting Logan into a bath is much easier said than done, the man does not like baths… at all. Eventually the endorphins faded with him being held between Finn and Leo who were reading jokes out of a joke book Finn found in Leo’s side table.

“Okay… can we go to the bath now?” Logan sighs defeated but he was starting to feel the soreness that will plague him for the next… honestly he didn’t know. Finn kisses his forehead and gets off the bed. Logan takes his hand and slowly sits up, Leo rubbing his back. Helping him stand Leo catches him as he stands for a few moments, shakily, and then falls back into his chest. “I can’t walk right now…” Logan is looking at the ground almost ashamed.

Leo and Finn share a look of worry, they decide Leo would carry him to the tub and set him down. Hours later after Logan has finally fallen asleep in Leo’s shirt and Finn’s boxer’s in the middle of the giant bed. Leo and Finn talked about how tomorrow would go before crawling on either side of Logan and holding each other tightly.

Leo was gone the next morning, they vaguely remember Leo telling them he was going to do chores. They looked at the clock, it was about eight in the morning. They made their way downstairs. Finn carrying Logan like a back pack. They were greeted with Leo and Judy in the kitchen making food for the team as a song played over the speakers.

Clayton and Reg had their arms linked and were skipping in the circle while singing, Regulus had really come out of his shell. Smiling Noelle hops in for Reg and Celeste hops in for Clayton.

Spinning the women around to the song the guys watched and James even sang along. Finn sets Logan down carefully in a chair and just watches them be rowdy in this multi-million dollar house.

“Man! I feel like a woman!” All the girls, plus James, Reg, and Clay shouted. Judy laughs behind them and whispers something to Leo who nods.

“Breakfast Y’all!” Leo wipes his hands on his apron after he finishes setting out plates and silverware. Everyone comes rushing over for food and moving to sit at the dining table that fits them all plus some more. Logan and Finn on either side of Leo, Thomas and Noelle oddly close to Clay who was chatting animatedly with Reg and Remus about how he got his scar on his face.

It was homey.

#leo knut #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #james potter #thomas walker #Clayton Bruss #o'knutzy #o’knutzy #lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast

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stephthenewgirl · 4 years ago

Text

AGTAW — I: Twila Gilbert

“Twila, did you take my dark blue leather jacket?!” Elena Gilbert strides into her sister's bedroom without a simple thing as a kick. She halts upon laying her doe brown eyes on her sister; her mouth parted and her thin brows furrowing. There her sister stood in only a bra and panties but that's not what shocked her, it was the fact that Twila was in her underwear with a boy in her room. He sat at the edge of her queen-sized bed that was covered in gray and black sheets and heavy blankets. His elbows pressing down on his lap and his back hunched over. His deep brown eyes moved to the elder Gilbert twin.

The later twin — Twila — with celerity wheeled her body around, her large hazel brown eyes aimed at her sister sharply. Her body hiding the boy behind her midway. And the somewhat naked girl's medium brown hair that fell into a sepia reddish-brown moved sweetly and nimbly stroke her neck. A rainbow stripe shirt held between her fingers — a shirt she was about to put on before Elena intruded her bedroom.

Twila briskly put the rainbow shirt on, after she tugged the shirt down, stretching out slight folds on the fabric and she stomped her way towards the elder Gilbert. Elena's doe eyes stayed fixed on the boy that sits peacefully on her little sister's bed. She disliked this — and she disliked it even more that the boy who looked so peaceful and unbothered had no shirt on.

Why doesn't he have a shirt on? Elena query herself.

“Don't you know how to kick?” Twila asked heatedly. Elena's eyes fluttered to the younger twin.

“I-I. . .” The words just wouldn't come out. Her eyes wandered to the boy on her sister's bed. Elena wanted to say ''no boys allowed in the bedroom'', she wanted to ask why Twila had no clothing on and why was he shirtless, what was happening. Elena gasped as the boy known as Clarkson sent a wink to her then frowned.

Twila pushed Elena out of her room, slamming the door in her face.

“No boys in the room, Twila!” Elena finally found her voice.

“You're not my fucking mother, Elena!!” Twila waits to hear the footsteps of her sister walking away. It did not take long. Today, Elena had no energy to lecture her. Twila was grateful. She twirled back around, walking towards the end of her bed.

“Will, that was a show.” Clarkson Forsyth spoke, a lopsided smirk on his soft pink lips. Twila mocked smiled at the boy, picked up his black tee off her bed then threw it at him, hitting his face.

“Yeah, you would think that.” Their giggles bounded off the four walls. “Hurry up. Martin and Vera are picking us up in sixteen.” Twila told the boy as she made her way into her closet and yanked a pair of pants off the hanger.

“So should I hop out the window and wait for you outside?” Clarkson said, standing from the bed, the black shirt in his hold as he goes. He flipped the shirt over and slid his arms in the sleeves then pulled the shirt over his head and pulled it down over his body. Twila stepped out of the closet wearing dark blue loose jeans and held two pairs of black sneakers in her hand. She walked towards her bed, displaying a frown on her face.

“What? No.” Twila sits down at the end of her bed and pulls out the socks she tucked into her sneakers. “I'm fucking hungry, and I know you are too.” Twila slipped the sneakers on her feet and tied them up.

“I just don't want to start—” Clarkson started, taking small steps towards the Gilbert girl.

“Clark, you've been my best friend since kindergarten. My family knows you and Aunt Jenna is cool, and she likes you. You're not going to start anything. . .” Once she finished tying her shoelaces, Twila looked over to the obsidian hair strong-jawed boy. “. . . Okay.”

Clarkson chortle. “Yeah, okay.”

Twila nods slightly with a smile. “Okay.” She pushed herself off the bed. “Don't mind Elena, she's just being a prude. Elena's been all big-sister ever since mom and dad passed. The girl is only four minutes older than me but that is a mile for her.”

Clarkson cracks a tiny smile. “How are you feeling, anyway?”

Twila was quiet for a second, thinking of what to say. She looked up at her best friend and greeted him with a sad smile.

“Getting better. Can't do anything but get better. The world goes on.” Twila gives him a longer smile that forcefully reaches her cheeks. Clarkson pulls her into a hug. It took a while for Twila to react back, but she did; wrapping her arms around him tightly.

“Thanks — for being here for me. I didn't know what I would have done without you last night.”

It was late at night when the boy called, gasping with sobs and in need of his best friend. Twila immediately told him to come over. She sat up on her bed and rubbed her sleep away, awaiting his arrival. Finally arriving at the Gilbert home, Twila hugged him and listened to his recent problems with his father as he cried on her shoulder. Twila did not mind — Clarkson was there for her when her parents passed; even invited her to crash in his room when she did not feel like being at Caroline's. After his tears dried out, they watched Buffy together on her baby-blue-covered laptop — forgetting about the sadness as they laughed away.

“Of course, Clark. I will always be here for you.” Twila pulled from the hug, her hands clasping his biceps tenderly then she gave him a fast smile. “Now get off of me,” She pushed him jocosely. “C'mon, I'm starved.” Clarkson chortled with a head shake; the two grab their belongings and head downstairs.

Twila and Clarkson dumped their belongings on the sofa before passing the threshold into the kitchen. The gold sunlight streamed through the square window; the silhouette of the window slept on the kitchen Island and kissed Jeremy's naked arm.

“Good morning, Gilbert family!!.” Twila smiled wide at her family that was diffuse around the kitchen area.

“Morning, Twila,” Aunt Jenna says softly, tipping her head back from the refrigerator door, welcoming Twila back with a duplicate smile. Her eyesight moved to the boy beside her niece. “Oh, hey Clark. I didn't know you were here.”

“Yeah, I hope you don't mind. Just needed my best friend last night.”

“Oh, nonsense,” Jenna waves him off. “You are welcome anytime. Would you like some toast?”

Twila's eyes instantly widened, jerking her head from side to side, “Oh, no. I'm making waffles. Don't need you having us eating rocks, Aunt Jenna.”

“Not rocks, Twila. Just burnt toast.” The kitchen erupted with laughter for everyone's lips — even Jeremy's. The boy who had been in the dump all summer, spending his time with Vicki Donovan and drug heads. Both Gilbert twins were happy to hear him laugh again; they haven't heard it in a while. Elena shook her head in the corner with a smile and a mug in her hands. After, she pulled it closer to her lips, taking a sip. “Who needs lunch money?”

“Here!” Both Twila and Jeremy raised their hands, shouting.

“Elena?” Jenna walked to her bag that sits on the chair at the dinner table.

“No thanks, Aunt Jenna.”

“Okay.” The strawberry blond rummaged through her bag, pulling out three twenty-dollar bills. “Here you go.” Jenna handed Jeremy and Clarkson each a twenty.

“Oh no Jenna, you don't have to,” Clarkson says, declining the money.

“I know, I want to. So take the money.”

“Take the money!” Twila yelled, not sparing a glance over her shoulders. Her eyes were fixed on the waffles, she didn't want them to burn like Aunt Jenna does every time she cooks something.

“Yeah, or I'll take it.” Jeremy playfully stood up acting as if he was honestly going to, Aunt Jenna pushed him back on his seat.

“Sit down.” She told the boy. “Take it.” She utters to Clarkson, pushing it at his crest.

“Okay, okay. . . Thanks, Jenna.”

“No problem. Twila, yours is on the table.”

“Thanks, Jenna.”

“Don't you have a big presentation today?” Elena reminds the young caretaker.

“I'm meeting with my thesis advisor at. . .” Jenna glanced down at her watch and freaked, “Now. Crap!”

“Then go. We'll be fine.” Jenna nodded at Elena, she quickly put her hair up in a ponytail with a rubber band then grabbed her bag, and dashed out the side door.

Twila plopped the last waffle on top of the rest. Elena walked towards her sister, standing beside her.

“Why was Clarkson in your room?” Elena inquired.

The sepia brunette twisted her neck to her twin. “Because he came over last night.”

“Why?”

“Because he needed a friend, Elena. You know, like how Bonnie comes over when she needs you.”

“Bonnie's not a boy.”

Twila's brows narrowed down and her eyelids batted. She can't believe what Elena was saying to her right now. She angles her body, facing her sister.

“Elena, you know Clark for as long I've been friends with him.”

“Doesn't mean he's not a boy.”

Twila turned away from Elena; grabbing the pleat of waffles, she was done with this exchange. Before she walked off she targeted her big brown hazel eyes at her sister once more.

“I don't know when you've become such a wet blanket but stop with the mothering act. I can have whoever I want in my room.”Twila let Elena know, leaving her there speechless.

Twila was wordless while she ate her waffles, Jeremy and Clarkson on the other hand talked as if they were in a club meeting. The conversation with Elena left a sour taste in her mouth, she still enjoyed her waffles of course, but she was upset. Her big brown hazel eyes glared at her twin as she asked Jeremy a simple question: if he was okay. She snickers at Jeremy's response and rolled her eyes when Elena glanced at her with a confused pouty face.

Elena folds her arms and walks off from the three teens, not soon later Twila's phone buzzes. A text from Vera telling Twila she and Martin were outside. A small smile pulls at her perfect lips as she stares at the screen. Twila slides the phone back into her pocket and sights her eyes on her brother and best friend.

“Vera and Martin's outside.” Clarkson got the hint. He hopped off the stool, grabbing his pleat and then Twila's. She gave him a soft thank you. “Need a ride, Jer?”

“Sure.” Jeremy got off the stool taking his dish, going towards the sink. Clark and Jeremy end up in a —you go first, I go first— situation. Jeremy stepped aside letting Clarkson pass. Clark smiled up at him shyly. Twila looked at him with a knowing smile, and he ignored her smug look while he walked to the living room area grabbing his book bag on the sofa.

Twila walked up behind Clarkson, playfully bumping into him. “Oh, I'm sorry. You first. No, you go first. I go left, you go right? Oh, um. . . okay.” Twila laughed at her dramatic imitation of Jeremy and Clarkson's exchange in the kitchen.

“Ssh, shut up. He could hear you.” He whispered to the girl over his shoulder.

Twila rolls her eyes, “Oh, please.” She grins and moves from behind him, going to grab her book bag also. Clarkson shook his head, letting out a stressful sigh. Hoping Jeremy didn't hear his sister mocking.

“Come on, Jer!”

“Coming!” He placed the wet dish on the dish rack and rushed his way out of the kitchen grabbing his book bag on the chair head. “Hey Vera, Martin.” Jeremy greets his sister's two best friends. Vera is a square face, soft beige skin brunette with deep-set dark brown eyes. Her brows were black-filled and straight. Her hair was black and short in a pixie rat tail cut, her bangs were cut right above her eyebrows, and two long strips of black hair fell just under her chin on each side of her face.

“Hey, Jeremy.” Vera greeted back.

Martin was an almond skin boy with long brown hair and a handsome diamond-shaped face. His eyes are hooded, small, and brown. Martin is Vera's half-brother and was Twila's boyfriend of two years, now ex-boyfriend but still great friends.

“S'up, Jeremy. How's it been?” Martin made conversation.

“Okay. How about you?”

“Fan-fuckin-tastic. I got this new skateboard from my dad. It—”

“Please, stop talking about the skateboard. No one cares, Martin.” Vera twists her head briskly at her brother before aiming her sights back at the road.

“You're just mad I'm better than you.” Martin retorted.

“Ha! Better than me? Jokes. . . That was a funny joke.”

“You—”

“Please, can you turn on the radio? Don't need to hear your brother-sister bickering.” Jeremy and Clarkson chuckle at Twila's insult. Vera rolled her eyes yet she did what was told and made a turn; passing The Mystic Grill. The song WANNABE by Spice Girls blasted throughout the dark blue color car.

Vera, Clarkson, and Twila belled along with the song. Martin and Jeremy had no choice but to tolerate the ordeal of their boisterous singing.

“So, here's a story from A to Z. You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully. We got Em in the place who likes it in your face.” Twila bells.

“You got G like MC who likes it on a. Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady. And as for me?” Vera follows.

“HA, YOU'LL SEE.” The three teens yell from the top of their lungs like a banshee's cry.

“C'mon guys.” An annoyed Jeremy wailed.

Martin's eyes traveled from the backseat to his sister. “Yeah, guys cut it off.”

“Slam your body down and wind it all around! Slam your body down and zig-a-zig ah!” They laughed at how irked the two boys were.

Twila pushed herself off her seat, her lips went to Martin's ear. “If you wanna be my lover!” Twila ear-splittingly sings.

Martin slapped his hand against his ear, “Twila, what the fuck!”

“You gotta get with my friend!” Vera sings.

“Friendships last forever!” Clarkson followed along.

“Friendship never eennnnds!” The three belled.

“That's not how it goes.”

“I don't give a shit, Martin. Now, get out of my car. We're here.” The long-haired boy rolled his eyes and pushed the car door open; he stepped out. The four other kids in the car followed shortly after.

“So — the boy had to sleep with her friends to be considered her lover?” Jeremy queried his eldest sister.

“That's not the message of the song, Jer.”

“Well, that's what it said.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Hey, Jeremy.” Vicki Donovan smiled making her way to Jeremy.

Jeremy copies and greets her back. “Hey, V.”

“Twila.” She uttered, moving her eyes to Twila.

“Victoria.” Twila gave a faint smile. Vicki and Twila were once good friends. They got especially close when Elena and Matt started dating but had a fallout this summer when she started to use her baby brother for his prescription pills and sleeping with him to avoid her own screwed-up life.

“Okay, let's go bitc—” Vera stops when her eyes set on Vicki Donovan. “Speaking of bitch.” Her hip cocked out, her fingers tucked into the back of her blue denim jeans pockets.

Vicki's mouth agape and her brows knitted. Her lips hastily retrieve with a curl and a scoff. Vera took hold of Twila's wrist, pulling the girl away from Vicki.

“See ya, Jeremy.” She said as the group of friends part ways from the young boy and ex-friend. “I still can't believe you allow him to be around her.”

“There are certain things I can tell Jeremy to do and certain things I could. He's hard-headed like that.” Twila explained with a shrug.

Lunch came fast for Twila. She had six-period lunch and had Mr. Tanner after. She was tired and glad the school day was almost over. Then she remembered she had to help Caroline with picking out some fresh faces for the new year try-outs after school. Great. She sighed.

“You look exhausted,” Vera slid, sitting down on the curved seat. She set her tray on the round cafeteria table. Today's lunch is a ham sandwich, chicken nuggets, apple, and a side of salads with a dressing of your choice and beverage. The food at Mystic Falls High wasn't so bad.

“I am.” Twila pushes her hair back, fingers gripping her hair softly. “I just wanted to go home after school and have a nice bubble bath, but I have try-out picking to do after school.” She wailed and pouted. Twila felt like sobbing, she truly needed and wanted that bubble bath.

“Aww, don't be so down, Twila. I'm sure you'll be fine.” Vera grabs a hold of her sandwich, taking a big bite.

“Let me detail it for you.” Twila leans forward, her hair falling as she moves her fingers and locks her big eyes with Vera's deep-set ones. “I'm try-out picking after school — with Caroline.”

“Ohh. . .” Vera sees the problem now.

Twila smiled tightly and her eyes squinted a bit and a little hum leaving her lips. Her smile says: now you get it. “It's going to be hell.”

“Aww, Twila. I'll be there for you.” Vera's mouth was occupied by food, she kept her teeth locked while her lips moved. The words came out muffled. Twila smiled anyway.

“You will?” Twila's lower lip pushes out.

Vera nods and speaks after swallowing. “If you need me, of course.”

“Aww, thanks,” The short-haired brunette joined her palm on top of Vera's hand. “But I can't do that to you.” She removed her hand, stealing Vera's apple. “I'll go through the belly of the beast on my own.” She takes a bit of the apple. Vera laughed.

“The belly of what beast?” Clarkson arrives, taking a spot next to Vera; Martin follows beside him.

Vera's eyes travel to the raven-haired boy. “Caroline.” She informed him.

“What about Caroline?” Martin questioned.

“I've got some fresh cheerleaders to pick out with Caroline after school.”

“Oh.” Clarkson and Martin mumble. Twila nods at the boys, chewing through the green apple.

Martin swallows down his food with water before speaking. “Aren't you co-captain? Can't you just do it another time?”

“No.” She placed the apple down on the table. “I'll just get it over with.”

“Clarkson, where were you last night?!” Barbie Forsyth asked, approaching the small group. Clarkson eyed up his sister. She stood with her hands at her hips.

“At Twila's.” He answered honestly. Barbie's eyes went to Twila; they had a squint to them.

“Of course.” She scoffed, shifting her eyes back at her brother.

The bottled blonde — Barbie Forsyth — never had a good relationship with Twila Josephine Gilbert. Ever since Twila ruined Barbie's gingerbread house in elementary school; just because she wanted a piece. And the other time they were partnered up in a history project. Barbie had done all the work and Twila just plastered her name on the paper. But those weren't the reasons why Barbie didn't like the big-eyed Gilbert all that well. For as long as she could remember, Clarkson and Twila were inseparable. She always felt like Twila was more of Clarkson's sister than she ever was.

“Why were you at her house?”

“I, uh. . . I needed someone to talk to.”

Barbie's head jerked forward. Unbelievable, she thought. “You could have talked to me.” Her light green eyes stayed on her brother; it made Clarkson feel guilty the way they were intensely piercing at him. Her eyelids blinked and she rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I wanted to speak to you last night.”

“Okay. . . What?”

Barbie glanced at Twila, who like everyone else at the table was focused on them. Barbie looked back at her brother. “Not here in front of her.” She yanked the boy, pulling him off his seat and away from the group.

Vera chortle, aiming her sight on Twila. “I'm guessing she still hates you for not doing the history project in middle school.”

“Ha, guessing?” Martin uttered. “It's a known fact she does.”

Twila laughed along with her friends, brushing down the fact that deep down she felt awful that her best friend's sister hated her for something she did in middle school. Not knowing that Barbie didn't dislike her because of some petty school project issue, the bottled blonde felt like Twila took her brother from her.

“Once our home state of Virginia joined the confederacy in 1861, it created a tremendous amount of tension within the state. People in Virginia's northwest region had different ideals than those from the traditional deep south. Then Virginia divided in 1863 with the northwest region joining the union.”

In the back corner of the room, Twila sat near the large windows. Mr. Tanner's voice was inaudible to her ears as she doodled in her history book. Through the windows, the evening sun rays hit the desk of students and the classroom floor. One golden glint shimmers comfortably on Twila's hair. A rainbow hues sat at her open history book, making Twila stop her hand movement. She admired the reflection of the colorful lights. Rainbows are one of Twila's favorable things about nature. Rainbows and heavy rain on a lazy afternoon, but she always hated the after smell. It always smelled of wet soil and moist greens.

Her large eyes wandered to the windows, it landed on the tree just outside Ms. Tanner's classroom. A crow sitting perfectly inanimate, as if it was a statue.

It was larger than most. Its feathers pitch as black but the little sunlight that hits its feathers shine a rainbow on it. It was sleek and had greedy dark claws and a sharp beak. Its black eyes glittered, and they were fixed on Elena; the brunette that sits two rolls down from Twila.

Twila watched the crow leer at her twin with this inclination in its eyes. Like how boys' eyes linger on a girl wearing tight clothes; those tops that pop out their cleavage or dresses that outline their bodies.

It was creepy, to say the least.

Then its dark eyes blink at Twila. The girl flinched back a bit, her eyes got broader, but they stayed on the bird. It was like the bird was challenging her; playing with her. A game of who would look away first.

The school bell boom, Twila flinched once more. Her eyes flutter to the front of the classroom seeing everyone packing up.

She lost.

Twila stood up, grabbing her book bag along, and followed her way out the room behind the crowd of teenagers. The short brunette sauntered her way through the crowded hall; she made a right, passing four classroom doors before reaching the staircase. She walked four flights of stairs down, landing on the first floor she went to her locker, putting and taking some of her things then — to Caroline she went.

Twila walked through the football field towards the concern the school gave the cheerleaders to practice. Her eyes gazed at the wannabe cheerleaders of all ages and sizes perfecting their moves. It brought a smile to her face.

Until Caroline spoke.

“Ugh, there you are.” The blonde's voice reached Gilbert's. Twila rolled her eyes. Always Caroline, the extra control Queen.

“Hello to you too, Care.” Twila drops her bag on the green cut grass. “Let's get this over with, shall we?” Some in the flock of wannabe cheerleaders chortle.

Caroline narrows her light bluish-green eyes before throwing Twila a mocked cheesy grin. The blonde pulled the sheet of paper to her eyesight. “Okay, first off you are going to be asked some questions — okay.” The group nods. “Okay, any of you guys have experience with cheerleading? Like gymnastics, dance, or have ever cheered before? If you have, raise your hand.” Caroline nods and marks it down. Caroline glanced to her side, “You want to say something, or are just going to stand there. Co-captain.”

Twila steps forward with a smirk. “All who have experienced step forward, those who don't. Please take a seat at the bleachers.” They followed their orders and Twila continued. “Now I want you all to show me what you've got. Jump, tumble, split, dance? Whatever you've got.”

The fourteen that step forward show Caroline and Twila what they could bring to the team. Both girls watched with sharp eyes. Twila had nicely commented on one girl who intended to do a cartwheel backflip after Caroline rudely told her she shouldn't try it again.

Twila told her she should. She did and succeeded. It was much better the second time around.

Throughout the try-out, Caroline rolled her eyes, scoffed, and scored the wannabe cheerleaders. Twila on the other hand praised and nicely Judged their performance. But she had snickered here and there with the blonde.

“Okay, we are done.” Twila was glad. “Those who made the team will be getting an email in two days and those who didn't,” Caroline sucked air through her teeth. “Too bad.” She shines her big smile, “Okay, bye.”

It was late afternoon and the sun cast a golden shadow upon the sky and Twila didn't care that it was four something when she got home, she was just happy she got her bubble bath. Her arms rest on the top edge of the tub and her hair held up by a black hair claw. She relaxed peacefully in the warm water and the smell of cinnamon, she bathed in the quietness. That was until Elena ruined it.

“Elena!” Twila shouts at her sister that breaks into the bathroom.

“Sorry,” Elena says. “Bleeding.” She put her foot on top of the toilet cover and rolled the bottom of her jeans up.

Twila looked down seeing the dry blood, “What happened?”

“I fell in the cemetery when I was running from a crow.

“Running from a crow?” It's brought a chill down Twila back. Her mind wondered if it could be the same crow watching her from the tree outside Ms. Tanner's window. No, she's just being paranoid.

“Yes.” Elena rolled down the leg of her jeans after cleaning the scraps on her leg and putting on a bandage.

“What were you doing at the cemetery?”

Elena put her foot down on the bathroom ground, sighed, and sat down on the bath cover. “I went to see mom and dad.”

Twila rolled her pretty eyes. “But you didn't see them, did you? You went to see a stone with their names plastered on it.” Twila's fingers wave in the bubble, playing with them. It was stupid for Elena to go see a piece of rock with their parent's names on it. It wasn't gonna bring them back, She thought, nothing was gonna bring them back.

Elena sighs and brushes her hair back. “I'm going to the grill, you want to come?”

“No thanks,” Twila looks over her shoulder. “I had a long day, I'm just gonna relax at home.”

The elder's twin nods, “Okay.” Elena left the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Twila fell back to the bath and relaxed once again.

A.N— Maine focus characters & Twila's outfit

#tvd fanfiction #vampire diaries fanfiction #vampire diaries x reader #damon salvatore x oc #elena gilbert #bonnie bennett #salvatore brothers #stefan salvatore

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benditlikepress · 5 years ago

Text

growing pains

@coffeedepablo @indestinatus

dedicated to my queen @ncisjes who goes to work to escape my nonsense

Read in full on AO3

Tony was counting down the minutes until home-time when his phone started ringing. Usually he switched it off during meetings but for some reason it had slipped his mind, and that was why he jumped out of his seat to leave the room to answer it, seeing Tali’s school flash on the screen.

They never rang.

He closed the door quietly behind him and clicked answer as he jogged down the hallway towards the doors that led out onto a small balcony.

“Hello?”

"Hello, is that Mr DiNozzo?"

"Speaking."

"Hello, this is Tali's teacher Madame Belanger."

"Oh. Hello. Is everything OK?"

"I'm stood here with Tali, nobody has arrived to take her home."

Tony checked the time. School let out 10 minutes ago. "Uh, Tali's mom should be there. She hasn't shown up?"

"No, Mr DiNozzo. I know it's her that picks Tali up and she's always early so I tried to ring her but I got no answer. I know she's pregnant so I thought I best ring you to check everything is OK."

Tony felt his shackles immediately rise, a ball in his throat. "Um, thank you. I'll try to get a hold of her but I'm on my way myself now, so one of us will be there soon. Can I speak to Tali real quick?"

There was a small pause while the phone was passed over.

"Hey sweetheart, it's daddy. I'm on my way to come get you, OK? Don't worry about a thing."

"OK."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

Tony hung up the phone and began dialling Ziva's number as he went into his boss' office. He explained he had an emergency at home with the phone pressed to his ear and was waved away to leave just as Ziva's phone went to voicemail.

"Hey. It's me. Call if you get this, let me know you’re alright."

When she still hadn’t returned his call when he was getting into his car, he began to panic more. Though she’d been through rough patches and difficulties since she got home to Paris, she’d never once made herself unreachable. She’d always at least drop a text to let him know she was safe. Particularly since she’d found out she was pregnant.

Thoughts of the baby plagued his rushed journey to school, weaving through traffic in a way that made him wish he still had lights he could stick on the roof. Things had been going really well up until now – no worries or doctors concerns, nothing that had to be kept an eye on. Ziva had been a little anxious at first because there had been some concerns early in her pregnancy with Tali but they had turned out to be false alarms, likely caused by stress. When nothing had happened in the first 12 weeks of this pregnancy and then the next couple afterwards, her fears had been allayed. It was week 23 now and everything had been pretty much perfect.

He repeated to himself that she was in the bath and had lost track of time as he hopped out of his car and rushed up to the school gates. He was buzzed in and by the time he reached reception, Tali and her teacher were waiting. Tali immediately left her teachers’ side and came over to him, wrapping her arms around him for a hug.

“Hey, sweetheart. Good day?” He asked in English and Tali’s teacher smiled politely, though he was never sure if she actually understood a word he said when he wasn’t speaking French.

“Uh-huh. Are we going home?”

“Yeah, come on. Sorry you had to wait a little while.”

“That’s OK. Au revoir, Madame Belanger.”

“Au revoir, Tali. See you tomorrow.”

Tali took Tony’s hand as they left the building and walked with purpose although she was quiet and thoughtful.

“Everything alright?”

“Why didn’t ima pick me up?”

"I'm not sure, sweetheart. We're gonna go talk to her and find out, OK?"

"Is something wrong with the baby?"

"I don't think so. Let's just get home and we'll find out what's going on."

This seemed to satisfy Tali, who was her usual talkative self on the car ride back to the apartment. Tony was glad of the distraction – happy to hear about Tali’s class preparation for their upcoming recorder recital and her friend’s new dog.

The building looked normal from the outside when they got home, though decades worth of cop shackles were hard to shake off and Tony caught himself reaching for a non-existent gun as they entered the eerily quiet hallway and reached the locked door.

The apartment was cleaner than they’d left it this morning – clothes and breakfast and mail put away. The curtains were open but the light was on in the bathroom and everywhere was silent. Tony left Tali in the living room and cut through room-by-room looking for any sign of Ziva or something out of place, and when he reached their bedroom he found the door ajar and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a sleeping figure on top of the mattress.

Ziva was lying on her side, buried in blankets, a slight frown on her face.

Tony bent down by the side of the bed and lifted fingers to her forehead, stroking her hair.

"Hey honey, you awake?"

Ziva stirred and then opened one eye. "What are you doing here?"

"School called."

"What time is it?" Ziva lifted her arms sleepily to check her phone. "Oh my god, I have to go and get Tali."

"Hey hey hey, relax. I got her. She's in the living room."

Ziva exhaled heavily and covered her face with her eyes.

"You OK?"

"Yes. I just... I have been asleep all afternoon. I did not get any sleep last night so I just lay down after lunch and.. I cannot believe this. I have never slept through anything in my life."

"Well, you're pregnant. It happens. Why didn't you sleep last night?"

"I need to talk to Tali."

"Just - take a breath first, alright?"

She closed her eyes as she inhaled and exhaled, but threw the blankets off her all the same. She had taken to wearing his shorts as pyjama bottoms, paired with either a tank top that rode up more as the days went on or one of his old baggy t-shirts depending on the temperature. Though she was almost always overheating these days.

"Is Tali upset?"

"She's fine. She was just a little worried something might've happened." Ziva brought herself up to a sitting position and pressed the base of her palms against her eyes. “You sure everything’s alright?”

"Yes, we are fine. Completely. I am so sorry for scaring you. Really, I.."

"Hey," Tony pulled her hands away from her face gently. "It's alright. It's fine. Stuff happens sometimes."

“It is not alright, Tony.”

Her insistence struck a chord with him, the way her breathing was a little laboured and she squeezed his fingers where they were still attached to accentuate the point.

“Hey. Talk to me.”

“We can talk once I have spoken to Tali. Let me do that first.”

“OK. Take a couple of deep breaths, though. Come in when you’re ready.”

Tony ran his hand over her head as he stood up, leaving the room and going back into the living room where Tali was sitting on the sofa with a game in hand kicking her legs backwards and forwards.

“Ima and the baby are all good. See? Like I said. Nothing for you to worry about. She’s gonna come and talk to you right now.”

He sat down next to her and she began to continue the conversations she’d started in the car, not seeming to notice Tony’s small responses as he kept an eye on the bedroom door.

Ziva appeared a couple of minutes later, her cheeks slightly pink with sleep and a practised smile plastered on her face as her eyes trained on Tali.

"Tali.."

"Is the baby OK?"

"We are both fine. But I need to apologise to you.” Ziva sat down at Tali’s side, opposite to Tony, and took Tali’s small hands into her own on her lap. “I'm so sorry I did not pick you up today, Tali. I did not get any sleep last night and I accidentally napped through my alarm. I promise you it will never ever happen again. And I'm very sorry for worrying you, that is not fair at all on you."

"OK. I forgive you."

"You do?"

"You promise.”

“I promise. Can I have a hug?”

Tali wrapped herself around Ziva but the position was starting to get awkward as Ziva had started growing more significantly in the last couple of weeks. She was carrying smaller than Tony had imagined, though he supposed it was a result of keeping herself fit. She said you’d have barely known she was pregnant with Tali until her third trimester.

He watched her expression now, over Tali’s shoulder, her eyes tightly shut and then opening to look up at him with tears threatening. She ran her hand over her left eye and the movement seemed to alert Tali to pull back and look at her.

“Don’t be sad.”

“I’m not sad, OK? Ani ohevet otach. I love you very much.”

Tony still wasn't quite used to the feeling he got in his chest when he saw the two of them together like this: hugging and whispering affection to each other, looking over each other’s shoulders at him with such automatic warmth in their eyes. It was a feeling he'd forgotten existed, something that he'd not felt since childhood until Tali and then Ziva took permanent place in his life - the pure comfort of being around family. The way that even when Ziva was clearly upset and hurting there was still pure, unadulterated love in the air.

Ziva sniffed and straightened her back. “Do you want to help me make dinner?”

“Can we have pizza?”

“You know your daddy can never say no to that. Come on, let’s get your hands washed.”

Tali jumped off the sofa and ran off in the direction of the bathroom. Tony got to his feet and held out his hand to help Ziva up, though she managed to get up mostly by herself. Her hand, as it often did now, instinctively went to her stomach. It was almost six months in and he still hadn't grown out of the burst of pride every time he watched Ziva privately acknowledge her bump, the knowledge that it was his child she was tending to when she didn't realise anyone was watching.

“Ziva..”

“I promise we will talk. I just want to make sure she is OK first. Once we have eaten, she will settle down. OK?”

“OK.”

It was a lot like this with a child: something Tony had never really considered before Tali came into his life, and something he was sure would only get more significant once the baby was here. Trying to find opportunities to talk was difficult, quiet moments alone few and far between, and though all Tony wanted to do right now was sit Ziva down and wait for her to explain every single thing on her mind he instead had to be content to watch her staring down at Tali thoughtfully while she helped her knead dough and overflow toppings in the way only a DiNozzo could.

They ate quietly but happily, Tali still leading conversation, and once she’d finished she’d taken herself off to her bedroom and shouted at Tony to follow her to help her with her math homework.

Ziva still had a fearful look in her eye, and it only seemed to increase as the minutes passed. She looked at Tali’s bedroom and then back at Tony, questioning, until he signalled at her to go to their own bedroom while he followed Tali.

(continue reading on AO3)

#ncis #tiva #take 100

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angelic-holland · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! I absolutely love your writing! anyway i had this idea where Tom has been away on a press tour or something for like over a month, and then he finally comes home. At first you’re happy to see him, but when things start getting heated you suddenly start crying, Tom’s super worried and asks what’s wrong. You have to tell him that you’re on your period and crying because you’d been looking forward to it for so long.. where ever you want to take it is fine, just thought it was a cute idea :)

Thank you lovely! This was such a soft request omg 🥺

***

Tom’s been looking forward to this day since he left a month ago. He texted you the moment he landed to let you know he would be home soon.

The plane ride wasn’t the best, there was turbulence and paparazzi were waiting for him at the airport so he wasn’t in the best mood when he got home and was unlocking the door.

But the moment he saw you all of the day’s troubles disappeared. He left his bags by the door and swept you off your feet.

He hugged you, your head tucked into his neck as he mumbled about how much he missed you.

He set you down and you smiled at him, his hands were still on your hips, gently rubbing the skin below your T-shirt. He kissed you, pulling you towards him.

Immediately his tongue went to glide across your lower lip and you opened your mouth. Your hands cupped the back of his head, keeping him close to you. He started backing you up, looking for the closest surface he could set you down on and show you exactly how much he missed you. He goes to cup your pussy over your leggings when you whimper and pull away.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asks as you bury your head in your hands. You let out a choked sob and Tom rushes to see if you’re hurt. He pulls your hands off your face, cupping your cheeks as you cry.

“Princess, what’s wrong? I’m sorry I should’ve asked before I-,”

“No, Tommy, it’s not that,” tears continue to fall from your eyes and he tries to gently kiss them from your cheeks.

“What is it? I’m so sorry that I upset you,” Tom’s eyebrows furrow and he wants to kick himself. It didn’t matter that he missed you and that he wanted you, he should’ve made sure you 100% wanted to-

“I’m on my period,” you choke out, crying even harder when Tom’s face is instantly relieved.

“That’s all?”

“Tom, I’m sorry,” you cry as he hugs you again.

“Why’re you apologizing? You didn’t choose this,” Tom coos, trying to calm you down.

“I just, I missed you so much and you’re back and I know you were looking forward to-,”

“I was looking forward to spending time with my girl, no matter what form that may be in. Did you want me to draw you a bath?”

“No, I wanna take care of you, you’ve been away and now you want to-,”

“The only thing I want, my love, is to make sure you feel okay and cuddle with you, besides, I’m way too tired to do much of anything anyways.”

Tom kisses your forehead before scooping you up in his arms, “let’s go relax okay? I’ll throw a blanket in the dryer so it’ll be nice and warm.”

“I love you,” you mumble into Tom’s neck and he just smiles so wide because he’s wanted to hear you say that in person since he left a month ago.

“I love you too princess.”

Tom settled you in bed and took your blanket to the dryer down the hall, letting it warm up while he gets changed.

He brings the warm blanket back, scooping you back against his chest after he lays the blanket over you.

“How was press?” You mumble, letting his hand intertwine with your own. You’ve calmed down considerably and Tom’s grateful for that.

“It was good, missed you too much though, glad I’m home in our bed.”

“I love you,” you whisper and Tom smiles into your hair, kissing the back of your head.

“Love you too, so much princess.”

#tom holland #tom holland blurb #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #alice answers #anon

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fionn-n-harry · 6 years ago

Text

Go- Harry Styles

My first Harry Styles writing! It Just seemed fitting for this angst. KEEP IN MIND- this is an au - if Harry wasn't famous. This is poorly written and pretty rushed, i didnt really check it intensely so its rough, but I hope you enjoy. Like 3500 words.

Where Harry needs to go.

Warnings: Angsttttttt

It had been a few weeks before the argument that left Y/N sulking for weeks, keeping to herself and staying in her apartment for days at a time. The conversation about their soon to be long distance relationship turned into a tough debate, then a rough and rocky argument where they both said things they regretted before breaking up.

She’s counting down the days till he leaves for his music internship back in the UK, away from New York, something that could truly help him make it. She knew that they would try but never see each other, honestly. And part of him knew too.

She remembers when she promised to drive him to the airport because he didn’t have a ride a month ago, and Harry hates to take cabs after a small incident he had his first day in New York, the same day he met Y/N.

Y/N is laying in bed wide awake, early in the morning, the day he’s supposed to leave, funny enough, debating whether to call him just to take him to the airport, she feels awful to leave things where they were. And while it’s a bad decision, she knows deep down she would torment herself if she didn’t.

She still has his number, just in case. So she turns and grabs her phone from its charger and hesitantly calls him. It takes a while, because Harry is on the other end eating breakfast alone while his roommates are still asleep, but also because he’s scared to answer, somewhat scared he will end up running back, ruining this whole opportunity for himself.

He picks up. It’s silent on both ends until Y/N speaks.

“Harry?”

He breathes out, “Y/N... hey.”

Tears start pricking at her eyes real slow and it burns. “Hey. I just- uh... I was just wondering if you still needed a ride to the airport, I remembered I offered. I know you don’t want to take a cab... unless you have someone to take you.”

He smiles a little that she remembered but it doesn’t last.

“... Forget I asked, I’m sorry, I hope-” she starts but he interrupts her.

“No, no, if you could, would be nice. My roommates don’t ‘ave a car, I didn’t ask anyone. If ya want to though, don’t feel forced.” He says.

“No it’s cool, I- I will.” She says tugging at her tank top because her insides hurt just from talking to him again, “When do you want me to pick you up?”

“Eight? I know s’ late but my flight doesn’t leave till’ midnight and it would take a little while to get there.”

She swings her legs over the side of her bed, “Yeah, no problem I’ll be there.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you late’r lovie.”

Fuck. Lovie. He didn’t mean it. It just slipped out. Fuck, fuck.

She feels devastated when he utters that out, she couldn’t explain why but it would make sense. She talks quickly but quietly so her voice wouldn’t crack.

“Okay. Bye.” She whispers before throwing her phone back on her night stand and biting her nails and chewing on the skin around them. She kicks her foot against the bed frame in distress before laying back down and pulling the covers over her head.

Harry washes the dishes recklessly, almost chipping a few plates and goes up to his empty room and throws himself onto the mattress. The feeling of loneliness that he feared would catch up to him in the last weeks started settling at his feet and climbing up toward his heart. She was truly the only person he really talked to about things that messed with him, and now he couldn’t mostly cause their separated, and because those ‘things’ were about her.

He rubs his eyes super hard till they hurt so he can’t cry and so his roommate, who he senses will barge in won’t see him sad, especially with the way they had been treating him lately after he broke up with Y/N.

“Harryyyyy, look at you, suitcases all packed.” Niall says smiling widely, “Say we go out for a drink tonight? Before you leave?”

He nods from her bed, “When? Not too late though.”

“Seven ish?” Niall asks but Harry shakes his head.

“I can’t Y/N is gonna take me to the airport.” He says looking away from him and at the ceiling.

Niall smiles, “Y/N? So you’re back together?”

Harry shakes his head sadly and Niall knows he’s made a mistake.

“Ah. Why, so early though? Your flight leaves around midnight and you’re usually late-”

Harry sighs, “I don’t want her to get home too late- s’all.”

Niall chuckles, “Of course mate. Let’s go out for lunch then, my treat. Need to have a proper goodbye with you.”

Harry looks up and smiles, “I’ll get ready.”

She tells her roommate she’s going out with a friend so she doesn’t worry before grabbing her stuff and getting into her car and driving over to his place. He didn’t live too far so she takes it painfully slow because she still regrets reminding/ asking Harry, but she needed this. When she gets there she goes for her phone but she knows shes early and she waits.

She sits there in silence and in sadness, wallowing in it like torture. It’s also a way to prepare herself, she feels like she’s about to cry because of all the emotional buildup. She’s trying to keep it in, but it makes her shake.

She can’t take it, after twenty minutes pass, she texts him that’s she’s here and he tells her he’ll be down in a few minutes.

His roommates come down with him to the lobby to say bye.

She takes that cue to unlock her trunk and come out of the car and wait on the sidewalk in front of his building.

When his friends spot her through the glass and they look at her like she has something on her face but she just turns around with her back to face them immediately.

She could always leave, honestly. She could force him to take a cab by bouncing and save herself from all this but she knows she would regret it.

She hears a few laughs and small talk and bags rolling out, Harry and his mates.

“Y/N, hey.”

She turns around again she forces a smile, “Hi.” She does a little wave and his heart falls, she was so adorable.

He goes in to hug her and she’s super hesitant but hugs him back really quickly without pressing into him. He wants to go back inside.

“Hey guys, nice to see you.” She says to his roommates as Harry stands next to her and they all greet her with side hugs. They all loved her, never had a problem when she was around too much either.

She grabs his suitcase and begins to roll it towards her car which is waiting behind them but he stops her. His hand falls on hers and she lets go quickly.

“I got it.” He says and she nods as he takes the largest ones to her car and opens her trunk. She takes the opportunity to grab his carry on and follow after.

Soon enough his stuff is in her car and he says bye one last time to his mates as she closed the trunk.

She walks into the car first and waits for him while putting the address into her phone before he walks back and sits in the passenger.

He looks awful. She looks at him sympathetically and he sees her from the corner of his eye but he doesn’t look at her or he’ll start to crumble.

Y/N looks away and she starts the car, “Ready? You got everything?”

“Yeah.” He says as he leans his head against the window.

She nods and she goes.

It’s painfully quiet and there is terrible traffic on the highway by the time it becomes unbearable.

She’s forced herself into another lane and the guy behind her gives her the finger and beeps at her viciously in which she audibly says sorry and puts a hand up as an apology.

Harry chuckles.

“What?” She smiles.

“Nothing, jus’ too funny is all.” He says looking at her with a playful grin.

She rolls her eyes and returns her eyes to the row of cars surrounding them.

“You excited?” She asks curiously tugging on the strings of her hoodie.

Harry shifts uncomfortably, “Yes and no. I get to go home to family, to my mum.” He says with ease, “But my friends and all that.”

You.

She nods sadly, “Well we’ll all miss you.” Y/N looks over at him staring at her and she pats his shoulder and looks away quickly.

Her car starts to smell like him and his nice ass cologne and she cracks the window a little to subtly get rid of the smell.

“S’ little cold out don’t you think?” He says and Y/N shakes her head.

“Nah, all good. Great smell of fuel, truly.”

He laughs and nudges her arm with his elbow, “Clown.”

Hes so pretty and she starts to hurt again just looking at him. She wouldn’t be able to see his face again, see his smile, see his dimples, see his pretty eyes, see his fluffy pillowy soft hair, see the way he played his rings, none of it, none of it again.

Fuck.

She feels her eyes burning again and she closes them and grips her knees really tight and steps on the brake really hard before she just loses it. She’s breathing really loudly because she’s getting so frustrated at him for doing this to her, she’s angry because she loves every aspect of him and she’s sad because he’s truly gonna he gone and it truly feels more real than all those times she’s sulked about it has.

“Y/N.” Harry calls to her, “Y/N you got move up.”

She snaps her eyes open and her hands on the wheel and she moves the car forward again.

Harry knows, she does that whenever she’s about to break down, it’s to calm herself down. He tries to convince himself she’s just a little tired but he knows all too well and he start getting sadder looking at the love of his life have to deal with all this shit he caused, having it all eat away at her.

There’s a knot in his throat as he tries to speak to her and he moves the neckline of his hoodie to try and free himself but it doesn’t work.

“Thanks.” She says quietly voice cracking and all.

Small talk here and there nothing important, just talking about his roommates and his old bike.

She knew how old happy memories made him happy so she brought them up to make the trip more bearable instead of letting him think in his head too much.

She’s pulling up to his terminal and he’s getting really shaky about it so she presses him to talk more, until there is nothing to talk about because they’re in front of the entrance. It’s nine thirty in the evening by this time. He doesn’t even step out when she stops. It takes him a while to take off his seatbelt.

“I’ll get your stuff.” She tells him which is enough to get him out of his trance as he refuses to let her do that for him, so he gets out the car and asks her to unlock the trunk.

She gets out and meets him at the rear of her car where he moves everything onto the sidewalk and she closes the trunk once more.

He stands there playing with his rings and she approaches him near his luggage.

“Harry don’t sweat it.” She reassured him, “Your family probably misses you like crazy. You’ll get to see your mum, your sister and you’ll have an amazing internship to look forward to. I’ll hear you on the radio soon, no doubt.”

He shuffles his eyes to hers and nods, “You’re right. I’m not having regrets.” He tells her trying to now assure himself.

They stand there awkwardly for a really long time, neither want the other to go.

Y/N breaks the tension and pats his shoulder, “Well, I should go. I hope- ”

“Y/N stay with me until my flight, please?” Harry says desperately and she hears it in his voice. This is going to fucking kill her more than this all did but he needs this. Worriedly she nods her head.

“Yeah Harry of course. Uh... stay right here, I’ll park the car.”

She’s back with Harry in a few minutes and she takes his carry on for him as they walk in together toward the bag check in line.

He’s taken off his coat and he’s in the black ‘I Heart NYC’ jumper Y/N gave him for Christmas looking pretty as ever. He’s wearing his vans too and he looks so cozy that she starts smiling to herself and it distracts her from the whole situation for a while.

Harry loves her presence. She’s just something he always wanted to be around, calming and relaxing for him whenever he got anxious. Holding her hand was when he truly could feel his best though. Kissing her was another story.

But they broke up.

The knot in his throat grows and when they reach the clerk he swallows really hard and whispers. Y/N knows really well. She tugs the side of his shirt and smiles sadly doing the rest.

He doesn’t know how she could stay so calm just when she was about to break down a while ago. He needed to try those exercises.

“I’m a little hungry, you want to get something to eat?” He asks her, she nods.

“Yeah, haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

“Breakfast? Y/N-”

“Don’t crucify me for it okay? I’m trying...”

He knows what she means, she’s trying. Trying to eat but it’s a challenge because she just wants to stay in bed and cry.

Their roommates spoke as a collective, her roommate told his roommates who told him. He meant to call her but what was he supposed to say? I’m not calling to get back together, I just really want you to eat.

“My treat, sushi?” He asks and she nods eagerly.

They're sitting on the floor near the windows because the airport is crowded. They use his luggage as a table.

She takes the first bite and narrows her eyes, “This was awfully expensive for something this stale.” Y/N says and Harry goes in for a bite and grimaces.

“Tastes like shit.” He laughs, “Nothing will truly ever beat that sushi we ate in Brooklyn.”

“Harry, this doesn’t even come close now c’mon.”

He shrugs and Y/N continues to eat it, most likely because shes hungry and he smiles and leans back against the glass behind him.

“What?” She says turning around with a mouthful of sushi, “You’re not gonna eat it?”

“I’m good.” He says and Y/N reaches over his lap to grab his soy sauce and his ginger which makes Harry laugh.

“Never fail to stop stealing my stuff huh?”

“Well you weren’t gonna eat it were you?” She continues to eat her sushi and bops her head to an imaginary beat and he shakes his head at her.

His phone goes off as she finishes her meal and scoots back towards him.

He says pulling out his phone, and Y/N sees his mother’s caller id before he declines.

“Woah, you’ve never declined your mom.”

He shakes his head and he starts getting stressed and flustered again, “I just don’t wanna think about the UK for a while. I- I just wanna be in New York.” Harry stutters out biting his lip and looking all sad and gloomy again.

“Harry-”

“Please don’t say anything.”

She looks at him with that look and he’s mad now because he got her all sad. She was so good at knowing what he was feeling.

Y/N moves against him until their shoulders are touching and holds his hand.

“Y/N-”

“Please don’t say anything Harry.” She rests her head on his shoulder and he knows she’s starting to cry. He kisses the top of her head and squeezes her hand super tight. Soon enough though she moves away and lays down, reusing the luggage as a head rest but doesn’t let go of his hand. Her eyes are all red and blotchy and she’s looking up, doing that exercise again.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He says sadly.

She doesn’t respond, but it��s because she really can’t.

It’s eleven twenty and Harry really has to start going so they get up. He still holds her hand but tucks her in his side so he can feel her close as they walk.

“Can’t take me any further.” She says chuckling but also sniffling as she tugs his hand.

“No c’mon I think that we can go till’ the-”

“Harry...”

“M’serious. If not I can just keep waitin’ with ye’- ”

She tugs hard enough where he stops and is forced to face her.

“Stop Harry. I can’t go further.”

“I’ll wait with ya’ then.” He says and she runs her hands through her hair tugging like when she’s stressed and frustrated, “What-”

“Stop Harry. You’re not waiting with me, you’re not gonna miss you’re flight, I can’t go further I can’t go with you, I know what you’re doing okay? Stop.” She says pulling her hand away.

She can’t control it this time, she doesn’t have enough time to act and her eyes are completely flooded.

He’s starting to cry too, and his voice is cracking like a teenager. “Y/N look I’ll just wait-”

She brings her hands up to his cheeks and desperately kisses him like she needs him. It’s super sloppy but Harry’s all for it as he reciprocates immediately kissing her passionately.

She pulls away and she drops her head on his chest, “Harry, I- I,” She stutters out and he knows what she’s about to do and she has to but it’s gonna kill him, how is he supposed to go?

“Y/N stop-”

“No Harry listen-”

“You know how fucking hard it’s gonna be for me to walk away?” He shouts at her in tears.

“I have to or I can’t-!”

“Y/N don’t you fucking dare-”

“Harry I love you.” She says.

And that breaks him entirely, his heart breaks, he knows with that she means bye. She just had to let him know.

He’s too weak now, he shoves his hands in his pockets he can’t look at her or he’ll kiss her again and drag himself back to her.

“I love you but you need to go. Go!”

“Y/N I love you too.” He says his eyes trailing up her body desperately fighting the urge to look her in the eye, but he fails, “Come with me then yeah?”

She shakes her head, “Stop Harry! Don’t mess this up for yourself you’re gonna do great things, just go.” He doesn’t budge and she loses it, “Fuck, fuck. Fuck Harry. Stop, don’t look at me like that-”

“If you love me why are you making-”

“Because I want what’s best for you! I’m just a distraction can’t you see? Stop looking at me like that, you have a fucking dream just do it would you?”

He cries harder, “I’m scared, I’m really scared Y/N.”

She wipes his tears with her thumbs, “But you have to do it, and you know you have to take the risk. So do it.”

Harry feels so dizzy it feels too unreal.

“C’mon Harry, would you fucking move?” She pushes him and he stumbles and she keeps going, so aggressively her wrists become sore from getting them pushed against too much, “Move!” Shes sobbing too hard so he grabs a hold of her wrists.

He kisses her again, very delicately like she might break and kisses the tears on her cheeks and all. He grabs her waist and pulls her in hugging her tight and she weakly protests but eventually gives in and cries in his neck.

“I love you, I love you so much.” Harry says, “I wanted to marry you.”

Y/N just cries harder and she can barely hold herself up anymore.

He waits until she lets it all out before he’s lightly rocking her then he pulls away kissing her cheek.

“I gotta go yeah.” Harry says composing himself and she crosses her arms and nods, “Take care of yourself lovie.”

“You too.”

He sighs and without much hesitation he kicks his luggage so it tilts and turns around and walks away.

And he doesn’t look back.

Y/N gets home to her apartment at one am where her roommate is waiting for her.

“Niall told me you dropped him off.” She says as Y/N kicks off her shoes and drops her jacket recklessly.

Y/N is silent.

“C’mere Y/N.” She opens her arms for Y/N who hugs her tightly, “Tomorrow lets have fun, get your mind off it all yeah?”

She nods but she doesn’t mean it. She was heart broken.

“I wanted to marry you.”

She adjusts her grip on her friend, “I wanted to marry him too.”

#harry styles imagine #imagine #imagines #harry styles fic #Harry Styles #harry styles concepts #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #writing #concept #fanfiction #fanfic #HARRY AND FIONN

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hudson-finn · 6 years ago

Text

I Think You Think Too Much of Me

Tagging: Finn & Rachel Location: Rachel’s Sorority House Notes: When Finn gets kicked out of his father’s house, he goes to the one person he still has.

Finn knew that it was going to happen eventually - him getting kicked out of his dad's house. He had been getting lazier and lazier with trying to hide his drug use and when we woke up from a daze to his dad ripping a needle of out his arm and packing his bags, he knew he had no place to go. He had tried to go to his mom's house but when she turned him away because of her boyfriend's kids, he didn't know where to turn. He didn't know where to go. The first place he found himself was at his dealers, him buying more bags of heroin before he went to the nearby bus station and crashed on one of the benches. A week went by of him spending his nights like that before he found himself growing desperate. He didn't know where to go, he was quickly running out of money he had swiped from his dad and he knew that he wasn't going to last long going the way he was. So, he managed to hitch a ride to Austin and when he found himself back in the familiar city, he couldn't help but feel strange. All he had to his name was some clothes and drugs in a duffel bag and other than that he had nothing. It didn't take long for him to find himself at the door of Rachel's sorority house and while he didn't even know if she was home, he knew that he needed to see her. They had spoken fairly regularly since she had showed up at his house and he knew she probably thought it was strange that he disappeared off the face of the earth for a week without saying anything to her. Finn bit down on his lip and let out a shaky breath before he knocked on the door. When a girl he didn't recognize opened the door, the smile on her face falling at the sight of him, he knew he probably looked like absolute shit. "Can I help you?" she asked, her tone definitely not inviting. "I um - is Rachel Berry here? I - I'm Finn. She's my friend and I just - um - is she here? Can I see her?"

Rachel had been so incredibly busy. She honestly didn't know where the time went. After rush week, she was getting a lot of events put together as part of her role on the executive board and she definitely was exhausted. She was so excited to welcome all of the new girls, but establishing rules of the house was definitely really hard. It was hard to figure things out, but she was so happy to be able to have the position she did. Rachel was laughing as she held onto her bottle of water, seeing some of the new girls finish up a sign for the event on Saturday that they were spending the day prepping for. Rachel looked over to Chloe and she offered her friend a slight smile. "It's nice, kind of. Being on the board. You get to just sit back and watch." She laughed, Chloe rolling her eyes playfully. "You have a point." The girl said, Rachel laughing before taking a sip of her water, moving over to the girls to help them attach something to their poster. When Rachel was speaking with the other girls, she stopped when she heard her name, looking back for a moment. "Rachel, someone's here for you. He looks like he's homeless, so I mean, I don't know if he's some weird stalker or whatever, but I can ask him to go. Or say that you're not here," The girl said, Rachel standing up and shrugging. "I can see who it is. I don't have a stalker," Rachel laughed, moving towards the door and immediately feeling her smile fade slightly as she saw Finn on the other side of the door. She really didn't even need to have an explanation to know what was going on. Moving over to him quickly, she moved to let him in, shutting the door behind him. "You can tell all of the other girls that Finn is always welcome inside here," Rachel said to the girl, her nodding quickly before moving off to give them a moment that they very clearly needed. "You look like shit," She breathed out, her hands moving to his cheeks for a moment as she went to look into his eyes. "I want to ask you what happened, but I don't... I don't know if I need to. Are you okay?"

Finn knew that Rachel told him that he could always stay with her but that didn't mean he felt good about it. He didn't want to be a burden on her but he also knew he was going to start really falling apart if he kept sleeping on benches at the bus station every night. He waited nervously as the girl who answered the door went off to get Rachel, him shifting back and forth on his feet. The second he saw her smile fade as she approached the door, he knew he really must have looked bad. When she quickly allowed him inside, her telling one of the girls that he was always welcome, he felt his heart swell with the adoration that he had for her. "I know," he breathed out when she said that he looked like shit, her hands moving to his cheeks. When she asked him if he was okay, he shook his head, him clenching his jaw as he tried to keep himself together. "My dad um - he kicked me out last week. I - I didn't want to come here. I was... I was sleeping at the bus station but I just - I know I'm gonna get worse not having a place," he breathed out. "I didn't know where else to go. I'm sorry. You're - you're doing something and I can - I can find somewhere to crash," he said quickly, feeling himself panic slightly. He didn't want this situation - his situation - to effect her because he knew that it wasn't easy and he knew that he was a mess she didn't deserve to deal with. "I'm sorry," he breathed out as he looked at her with sadness in his gaze.

Rachel felt horrible for Finn. She really didn't know what to do to make things better but she knew that she had to do something. When Finn told her that he got kicked out of his dad's house, she looked up at him sadly and sighed gently. "Finn, I told you that you could have called me when you got kicked out, and I meant that. I meant that my bed was open to you. I- I can't let you just run around the city looking for a place to stay. You can stay here," She told him, her looking at him and taking in a deep breath. "I'm never too busy for you, Finn. Please just.... just- you can stay here and you can clean up and then sleep in my bed. Just- hold on." She told him, her grabbing his hand for a moment before walking him towards the stairs. When she saw Chloe looking at her, clearly concerned, she bit down on her bottom lip for a moment. "Chloe, can you uhm... can you have the girls finish everything up and you text me when they're done so I can see it before they put it up? I'm gonna take Finn upstairs so he can get cleaned up and lay down and stuff," She said, her friend nodding. Rachel looked back to Finn and she offered him a small smile. "We can go to my room. I'll set you up to get a shower and we... we can talk. We can figure things out. Just... you shower and I can get you some food if you're hungry and we can chill in my room for a little bit. I'm just chilling around the house today so we can have some time together."

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "I know you said that I just - I didn't want you to have to deal with this," he said softly. When she grabbed his hand, he followed her toward the stairs, him shifting his gaze over to Chloe when Rachel spoke to her. He managed a small smile towards his other friend who returned it with a small one of her own before he brought his focus back to Rachel. "Okay. I... I am hungry. I haven't eaten since yesterday. And I'm sorry if I smell. I'm sorry that all those girls probably think I'm some psycho," he told her as he followed her towards her room. It was strange, he had been in this house with Rachel so many times before and yet it still felt so incredibly different. Everything felt different. The second they were in her room, he set his bag down gently before he turned to look into her mirror, his eyes widening at the sight of himself. He knew he had looked bad but for some reason seeing himself standing in Rachel's clean and tidy room and seeing himself was shocking in a way he couldn't explain. "Can I please shower?" he breathed out as he turned towards her. "I just - I feel really gross and I didn't realize how bad I looked. I - I haven't really looked at myself since I left." Finn felt so small, so weak and he knew he just wanted to clean himself off and forget about the past week. He knew in the grand scheme of things that he hadn't had it that bad but he also knew that for the first time he really had a taste of his life with nothing. He had a taste of what his life would be if he lost everyone he cared about and was left on his own. "I'm sorry again that I - I just showed up like that. I didn't have any way to contact you and I just needed to see you."

Rachel wished that she could say more or do more to help him, but she figured that starting with a shower was at least something she could give him. Once they were in her room, she shut the door slightly and looked at him. "Yeah, we can get you food as soon as you get cleaned up. I have a lot of stuff in the kitchen here, or we can postmates something." Rachel looked at him and could feel her heart breaking. She felt horrible that he was at this point and she wished that he had come to her the second that things had turned bad. The second he had gotten kicked out. "Yeah, you can shower. Of course you can shower." Rachel moved around her room slightly and grabbed a towel and some of her bath products that he could use. "Finn, it's fine. I wouldn't have expected you to do anything else. I mean, there's not many ways to contact me. And this is a different situation, you know? Don't worry. This is fine. Come on, I'll set you up with a shower. I share it with a few girls here, but take all of the time you need." Rachel opened her door and started to lead him there, her putting her towel down and her bath products down. "Just... take your time." She told him as she looked at him, her looking up at him. "Do you need anything else or are you okay? And oh- I- I have a razor here in case you want to shave, just... to clean up, you know?" She told him, her looking up into his eyes. "I'm really glad you came to me, Finn. I'm so happy that you're here." She paused for a moment, offering him a small smile. "And when you're done we can talk, okay? We can eat and then talk," She added at the end, knowing that she really was just so happy that he was here so that he could figure things out if he wanted to. And if not, she'd have to deal with it, but she also knew that she couldn't get any of her friends in any danger from him bringing shady people here to get drugs.

Finn grabbed a pair of sweatpants from his duffel bag and followed Rachel towards the bathroom, him watching as she set down the towel and bath products that she had brought for him. "I'm okay. Thank you, Rach. And I probably will shave a little," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. He could see how worried she was about him and he truly wished she didn't have to feel that way but he knew that he made it difficult for her not to when he put himself in the situations that he did. "I'm happy to be with you," he said softly, him trying his best to return her smile with one of his own. When she said that they could talk when he was finished he nodded. "Thank you, Rach. Thank you so much," he breathed out. The second he was on his own, he turned on the shower and stepped into the warm water, his eyes fluttering closed the second it hit his skin. He made sure to get himself cleaned up and once he shaved, he looked at himself in the mirror and was able to let out a breath. He looked better - he looked like Finn. While he still didn't feel like himself, he knew that he was just happy to be safe. To be with Rachel. He knew they were going to have a lot to talk about but he hoped that they'd figure out some kind of solution to all of this. Once he slipped on a clean pair of underwear and his sweatpants, he made his way back towards Rachel's bedroom. "I'm never gonna take a shower for granted again," he breathed out as he walked into her room, him offering her a small smile before he moved to sit down on the edge of her bed. "Thank you so much, Rach. I know I keep saying it but I really mean it. You - you letting me stay here tonight means so much to me," he said softly.

Rachel cleaned up her room slightly as she waited for Finn to come back into her room after his shower. She honestly felt like she was slightly in shock thinking that he was really here. She was surprised that he had really come here after so long, but she was so happy that he was reaching out to someone. Rachel fixed her pillows on her bed and she put away some of her laundry and her shoes on the floor, wanting to make sure that she had room for his things, not that he was carrying too much anyway. Plus, she wanted him to feel free to put things where he needed them. Rachel cleared one of her drawers for his clothes and once she sat on her bed and relaxed on her phone while she waited for him, she allowed herself to try and calm down. It was stupid to rush around especially when she was sure that he was going to take forever. Once Finn was back into her room, she smiled gently and watched him sit down on the edge of her bed. "Finn, you're welcome. Don't worry about it. And Finn, this isn't just for the night if you need more time. I have a full bed. I mean, it's not huge, but we can squeeze on here together and I- I have space in one drawer for you and I can make more room for you if you need it," She told him as she went to move closer to him. "Finn, if you need someone, let me help you, okay?" She whispered, looking at him. She sighed softly and rubbed his back gently. "I just- if you're going to stay here things need to be... different but- I just want you to feel safe and to feel comfortable. And uhm... while you were in the shower I grabbed you some snacks. They're on the dresser right there. But we can make some food downstairs in a little bit. I just want to talk to you for a little bit. I know it's only been a week since we talked but it feels like so long. And clearly, a lot has happened."

Finn looked at Rachel with a sad smile on his face as she spoke. "You made space in your drawer for me?" he asked her. He knew she cared about him but a part of him was honestly in a constant state of disbelief of just how much she cared. He looked down as she rubbed his back, him letting out a breath as he just focused on the fact that he was okay now. He was with Rachel and he was safe and that was all that mattered. "I know that - that things need to be different if I'm staying here. I - I know," he said softly. Finn turned to face Rachel fully before he slipped his arms around her waist, him tugging her to lay down on the bed with him as he buried his face in the crook of her neck for a moment. "I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life," he breathed out against her skin before he pulled away so he could look into her eyes. "You're like my angel, you know that?" Finn offered her a small smile before he pressed a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering for a moment. "I want to stay like this but I really need food too," he said, him smiling at her for a moment before he grabbed some of the snacks she had laid out for him. He quickly moved back to the bed as he shoved some food in his mouth, him more than relieved to have something to eat. "I don't even know where to start when it comes to talking, Rach. I - I know we obviously have to talk about everything a-and about like... whatever rules you have for me. I'm just, I want to be fully honest with you because obviously in the past I haven't been and I don't want to lie to you ever again. I won't," he told her as he looked into her eyes before he ate a bit more of his food. "I don't want to take advantage of you or be like some... some weight on your shoulders this semester so I - I don't want to stay if you feel like that, okay? Please don't let me ever make you feel like that."

Rachel let a soft laugh escape her lips as Finn moved down to lay on the bed with her, his face hiding in her neck for a moment. She smiled as he spoke, her looking at him as he looked into her eyes. "Just by being you. I want to be in your life because of you," She said softly before laughing slightly as he pulled away to get some food. "We'll have actual food in a little, but I figure that it'll hold you over for a little bit until we actually eat. And if you haven't eaten too much, you don't want to eat too much too fast anyway." She went to sit up slightly as she looked over at him. "I don't want to call them... rules, I guess. I just- if this was my own place, I wouldn't care as much. But the school does still regulate this to a certain extent and I mean, I have a lot of girls here that I'm kind of in charge of and I don't want something bad to happen to them, you know?" She said, sighing gently. "You're not going to be a weight on my shoulders. I just- I can't have you bringing people... here. To... to get high. Like your dealers or whatever. I can't have that," She told him, looking into his eyes. "And I'm not asking you to be clean overnight but you can't be getting high every second of the day in this room, Finn. If you're going to be staying with me, you need to at least start trying to figure things out. I'm just- I'm worried about you," She whispered, looking into his eyes for a moment. "I- I am gone a lot because of classes or... sorority shit but... I'll be here a lot to be with you. But like you said, I just need you to be honest with me. You don't need to be telling me everything you're doing, but I just... need you to be open." She didn't want to be suffocating, but she needed them to be on the same page. "I want you to feel comfortable here, obviously. But just... try not to do anything in front of all of the other girls, I guess. You can grab food and use the house just like everyone else, just... obviously don't bring drugs out right in front of all of the girls, that's all. You can do what you want here."

Finn knew that Rachel felt responsible for the girls that were in her sorority and he certainly didn't want to make any of them feel uncomfortable. "I won't bring anyone here, I promise. I'd never want to make you or any of the girls here uncomfortable. That's - that's not what I want. That's not what I'm about." Finn knew this whole situation was going to be complicated and while Rachel told him that she didn't expect him to get clean overnight, a part of him knew that she was going to push for it. Of course he understood why but he also didn't think she understood just how difficult stopping was going to be. He was so deep in it and he knew that both his mind and body were totally hooked on the amazing numbness that heroin provided him. "You don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself," he said softly. "I'm safe, you know? I don't take too much or... or anything like that. I'm careful," he said softly. He knew being careful using heroin wasn't really a think but he truly did feel as though he had some sort of control over it. "I promise you that I won't do or say anything in front of the other girls. They'll have no idea, you know? No idea," he said softly. Finn sighed as he looked down for a moment before he ran a hand through his damp hair. "I want to tell you that I'm going to stop but it's just - it's so hard. And I know you know that but I just don't think it's possible for me to explain unless you've been in this... this weird place that I'm in. I wouldn't want you to be in this, anyway." Finn bit down on his lip and looked down for a moment before he looked at Rachel, a small smile forming on his face as he met her gaze. "You're so perfect, Rach," he breathed out. "You're literally like... like the most amazing person I've ever met in my life and I don't understand why you care so much about someone like me but I... I love you for it, you know. I love you for everything you've done for me and I promise I'll pay you back for it all one day."

Rachel really didn't believe that Finn was being safe with using heroin because she didn't think that there was really such a thing, but she was just going to give him the benefit of the doubt. It seemed impossible to really get it through his head that he was in a bad place, but she was going to continue to try. "That's fine, I just- I don't think you would, I just know that you're not yourself when you're high and I just don't want you to do something stupid. And I- I know that you're good and you clean up after yourself most of the time and everything, so you'll be fine here." She smiled sadly as she looked at him and just nodded. "I know. I know that I can't really understand how you feel, but you need to get clean eventually. I'm not going to be up your ass about it, but you definitely do need to stop. You're basically killing yourself at this point." As he spoke again, she looked into his eyes and felt her heart swell in her chest. "You don't think enough of yourself, you know? You're so amazing and I see so much in you and I can tell you don't see it. Even when I first met you, you didn't take school that seriously and you just... you went to class but didn't pay attention. I know that you could do really great things. I care so much about you, Finn. I love how... how passionate you are and how sweet you are and I love how close we are. I just- I miss you sometimes and I know that you're right here next to me, but sometimes it feels like you aren't. And even though you being here is because of a really horrible reason, I just- I love that you're here. I love that we get to have some time together now because I feel like we haven't just had... time for us in so long. And maybe you need some time with people that really want to see you better and can help you be better. But I'm mostly really excited that I get to be here with you. We're gonna have to get really cozy with each other if we're gonna be comfortable in this bed, though." She said with a soft laugh, looking at him.

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "I will get clean, I promise. I will," he told her. He knew that he would stop eventually, he would, he just wasn't ready yet. He wasn't ready to face that journey when he truly felt that he still needed heroin in his life so desperately. As she started talking about him, Finn smiled softly as he looked down. "You're the only person that's ever said this kind of stuff to me. I just - I don't know. You amaze me. And I'm happy I'm here too. I missed you so much and I'm definitely looking forward to being here with you. Plus, I think we'll be pretty comfortable in bed together. It's not like we haven't done it before." Finn looked at her with a smile before he shifted on the bed slightly, him laying on his back as he looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "Do you have to finish what you were doing down there?" he asked her curiously. "Because if you do, that's fine. I just - I don't want to get in the way of what you had planned for the day or anything. I know you probably have some serious arts and crafts to get done. Or whatever sororities do when they're not partying," he said with a laugh as he looked at her. He really did feel lighter just being around Rachel and while he knew he wasn't happy by any means, he was happy to be with her. When they were together, he felt like he could breathe again and he knew that he needed her in his life desperately if he really was going to get clean at some point.

Rachel knew that Finn had a lot of potential and she wished that he could see it too. He always did so much and Rachel just wanted him to be happy again. "Yeah, I know. We've definitely been close to each other on this bed together, but it's gonna be nice. I mean, we're going to be together like every single day basically so I mean, it'll be nice." She was excited for it, honestly. She was excited to just have something to look forward to in the future -- being with Finn and enjoying her time with him. Well, hopefully. She hoped that he wasn't too out of it all of the time to where he couldn't even actually be with her. As he asked her about what she was doing downstairs, she shrugged. "Nah, I'm finished. I had Chloe step in for me. She's been helping me out a lot so it's been nice. I have a lot of shit to do so I've been leaning on her a lot. We're getting ready for some philanthropy event this weekend, so I'm having all of the new pledges make some banner to hang up. I think they can handle some hot glue and some paint," She said with a small laugh, a smile on her lips. "Do you want actual food?" She said, her offering him a small smile. "If you don't want to cook, we can... order some food or something and have it delivered. I don't know how... up to cooking you are but I have shit to make sandwiches and stuff." She offered, keeping close next to him on the bed. "I have the whole rest of the day to spend with you so we can do whatever you want. If you just want to chill out and relax and actually sleep on a nice bed, then we can just do that. Anything you want."

Finn looked at Rachel with a small smile on his face as she spoke. "I'm glad you have Chloe. She's a really good friend to you. And yeah, they can handle some paint and hot glue, I think." When she asked him if he wanted food, he couldn't help but laugh softly as he nodded. "I would love some actual food. And I don't care if we cook or order, I definitely need food as soon as possible because I'm starving," he told her. Finn definitely liked the sound of just being lazy with Rachel all day long, although, he couldn't deny that a part of him was nervous about them staying together. She had never seen him shoot up before. Sure, she had obviously been around him while he was high, but he had always tried his best to keep that world away from the little world he had when he was with her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before he moved to sit up, him running a hand over his face for a moment. "Sorry, I'm just um, you know, thinking about... you know," he said softly. "I really want to spend time with you today and just be lazy with you but I'm also gonna start going crazy if I don't get high at some point too," he explained. Finn didn't want to lie to her when he was thinking about heroin. He just didn't want to lie to her at all anymore and while he knew it would scare her, he just had to be up front with her. "But let's focus on food for now," he said quickly. "I'm so hungry," he breathed out as he moved to stand up, his hand on his stomach as he looked over at Rachel with a small smile on his face. "Do I look okay now that I showered and shaved a little? I don't want to scare any of the other girls because the one who answered the door definitely thought I was some homeless dude trying to get money or something."

Rachel wasn't stupid. She knew that Finn would need something -- he wasn't sober and he definitely didn't have any plans to really get sober right now and she knew that it was stupid to think that he'd not use while he was staying here. "It's okay," She said softly, looking at him as he went to sit up. "You don't need to apologize. I get it. I mean... I understand that you need to. And I uhm... it's fine that you want to and that you have to. You can, obviously. Just... only in this room, that's all." Rachel wasn't really sure that she was prepared to see him getting high, but she knew that she had to. If Finn was going to be staying here, he couldn't be hiding things. "Let's just go downstairs," She said with a soft laugh as she moved to sit up. "I can get some stuff for sandwiches out of the fridge and we can just have something easy. And the girls will probably be happy to see that you're cleaned up. And they can see how hot you are," She teased, her moving to get up off of the bed as she looked at him. "Let's just get food and we can eat quickly and come back up here to spend some time together. And... you can do whatever you need to." Rachel went to open her door and she looked at him, smiling gently. "Come on, before I eat all of your food," She laughed as she started to walk down towards the kitchen, a smile on her lips. She honestly was just incredibly happy to be here with him, especially after so long of being apart from him and she couldn't wait to finally be close to him once again.

Finn nodded when Rachel told him that he could only get high in her room. He knew that he wasn't going to dare do anything outside of her bedroom because the last thing he wanted was to get her in trouble or have any of the other girls know what was going on. Only him, Rachel and Chloe knew that he was using and he preferred to keep it that way. When she moved to sit up, he smiled and nodded at her mention of getting to have something easy to eat. "I mean, you're not wrong there," he said teasingly when she told him that the girls could see how hot he was. "I'm more concerned with you seeing how hot I am though." Finn looked at Rachel with affection in his gaze as he followed her out of her room and towards the kitchen. She looked so happy and it made him happy to see her that way. To know that she was actually happy that he was around. With everyone else he truly felt like him being around was just a massive burden and he was so relieved to have Rachel in his life because he truly didn't know where he'd be without her. "It's weird. Only a few months ago we were hanging out in here all the time and it feels like a whole lifetime ago," he breathed out as he leaned against the counter once they were in the kitchen. "How's your semester been so far?" he asked, knowing that he just wanted to hear about how she had been since he truly felt like when they talked they were always so focused on his well-being. "You been going to any good parties?"

Rachel looked at Finn as he leaned against the counter, her offering him a small smile. "Yeah, I know. It really does feel like a lifetime ago. And I mean, in college terms, a few months really is a lifetime ago. I mean, a lot has happened, you know?" As Rachel moved around the kitchen to grab some stuff to make sandwiches, she was honestly just so grateful that Finn was safe and that he was here. She was so happy that he had come to her and that honestly meant more than anything. "My semester's been going okay," Rachel said, grabbing a couple of water bottles from the fridge before handing one to him. "I mean, I'm busy. As you can see. We had elections and now I'm president so my mom is thrilled," She laughed gently, beginning to make the two of them some sandwiches. "My mom was like the star of Delta Gamma back in her day, so she's excited that I'm filling her shoes. But other than that, classes are going really well. I've been trying to stay on top of things, but it's hard. I've been pulling all nighters and stuff. The only reason you don't see dark circles under my eyes is because I definitely perfected the craft of makeup," She said teasingly as she looked back at him. "And as for parties, I mean, I haven't really been going out. I've held some parties here for the beginning of the semester and I went to a couple with uhm... with Ethan, but that's it, really. It's been pretty tame. I'm tired of partying and stuff, anyway. I had my go at it and I still enjoy getting a little drunk with my friends, but I'm tired of the whole party scene." Once she finished up their sandwiches, she put a few chips on the side before handing a plate to Finn. "A part of me wishes that I didn't take on so much, but I like being busy. It helps keep me focused. I've had a few mental breakdowns of me crying in my room a couple of times, but you know... that's college." She said, a slight smile on her face. "Uh, do you want to eat down here? We can go into the dining room. We only have huge tables, but you know, we have to feed like... over fifty girls," She said with a soft laugh before leading him towards the dining room.

Finn raised his eyebrows when Rachel told him that she was the president of her sorority. "What? You're president? Look at you, killing it over here," he said with a soft laugh. He was proud of her for doing so well and he truly didn't know how she did it. She did insanely well in school, was the president of her sorority and still managed to have a social life. Plus, now she was stuck worrying about him and he couldn't help but feel bad. God, he just didn't want to be a burden on her. He really didn't. "Well, you look amazing. And I'm really proud of you for doing so great," he said softly. As she told him how she had been to parties - with Ethan, he bit down on the inside of his cheek. He knew that she had every right to hang out with Ethan but he couldn't help but feel jealous. At this point, he knew he had strong feelings for Rachel whether he liked it or not and while he knew that he had to figure himself out first, that wasn't going to make his feelings go away. "I mean, the party scene isn't for everyone. Even I stopped with it," he told her, him offering a small smile as she handed him a plate. "I guess that's college. I took the complete opposite approach and did nothing until I had a mental break down in a different way," he said with a laugh, him nodding when she asked if he wanted to eat downstairs. He followed her towards the dining room before he took a seat, a sigh escaping his lips as he stared down at his sandwich for a moment before he looked back to Rachel. "Hey Rach?" he asked her softly as his gaze met hers. "Are you and that Ethan guy... are you together?" A part of him knew that he had no right to ask that question but another part of him was just so curious. He needed to know if she was with Ethan. He needed to know if there was ever going to be hope for him one day and even though he knew he didn't deserve it, it didn't stop him from wanting it.

Rachel couldn't wait to just start to be spending more time with Finn. Obviously, it wasn't for the best reason, but she was still happy to spend time with him. It was so horrible that he was still dealing with everything he was and she wished that she had a solution for him. She wished that she could just snap her fingers and have him be fine. However, that wasn't the case. A part of her wished that she was never in the party scene and just never got Finn involved with more of what he was. However, she knew that she was thinking too far into it -- if she knew him or not, she knew that he would still most likely have gotten himself into the same situation with how crazy he had been getting. Rachel continued to eat as she kept quiet for a moment, just trying to relax with him and enjoy a normal meal with him where they weren't fighting or weren't having some random problems. As he asked her about Ethan, she looked up at him and sighed softly. "I mean... no. I know you want to hear me say no, and the answer really is no. I just- he's convenient, I guess. Like, we're not together and I wouldn't even say that we're really... talking or whatever. We just hang out because he's in our brother frat and stuff so we go to parties together and stuff, that's all. We hang out on campus and stuff but we're not... together." She said, her looking into his eyes for a moment. "I'm not really into him as much as I was before, I guess. We have fun or whatever but there's no connection, really." She paused for a moment before taking another bite of her food. "Like... I don't know. I don't want to be cheesy or whatever but you make me laugh and I have a good time with you and it's not... forced or anything and I just don't really have to think about it. I mean, the moment we met we were fucking crazy," She laughed, looking at him with a smile. "It's confusing, I guess. But I'm just... seeing what happens with everything. You don't need to be jealous," She said with a soft smirk, taking another small bite of her sandwich. "And I mean, Finn, you're kind of going to be sleeping in my bed every night, so I think you have a pretty good position."

Finn could feel himself relax slightly when Rachel told him that her and Ethan weren't together. He knew that he had no right to feel any type of way about it but he did and he knew that his feelings for Rachel were strong whether he liked it or not. "I mean, it's not that I want to hear you say no because if he made you happy or whatever, I'm happy for you. But, I mean, I'm not mad that you're saying no," he said softly as he looked into her eyes before he took another bite of his sandwich. When she told him that he made her laugh and that she had a good time with him, he looked at her with a small smile on his face. "I'm not jealous. I'm just... not a fan of Ethan," he told her, knowing for a fact that he was absolutely jealous. "And I know I'm sleeping in your bed but it's not really like it was, is it? I mean, I'm not that guy that you were talking about anymore, you know. I don't think I've made you happy in a long time." Finn sighed softly before he finished off the rest of his sandwich and moved to rest his elbow on the table, him leaning against his hand as he looked at her. "Sorry, I'm not trying to be super depressing or whatever. I'm just not in a good head space. I mean, obviously." Before he could say anything else, Chloe walked into the dining room and he offered her a small smile as she looked at them both hesitantly. "Hey Chloe," he greeted as she moved over to him and leaned down to give him a small hug. "Hi Finn. I missed you," she said softly. "I know you two are talking and I'm not trying to interrupt but is everything alright? Last week Jamie got a call from your mom freaking out that you were homeless and no one could get in touch with you and suddenly you're here. What's going on?" Finn sighed as he looked at his friend before he looked down at the table. "Um, I'm gonna stay here with Rachel for a little bit. I - I don't know how long. I mean, I know I have to figure something else out and I will but I... I'm just going to stay here for now. Is that... is that okay?" he asked her. Finn knew that Chloe and Jamie had both been frustrated with him from the moment he started using and while his friends obviously tried to help him out, he could tell by the way she was looking at him and Rachel that she wasn't too happy about the situation.

Rachel looked at Finn sadly and just offered him a small smile. "You do make me happy, Finn. I just- I'm sad because we're always apart and you're always putting yourself down. I just- you do make me so happy. And honestly? Finn, it makes me so happy to know that you came here to me. That you're safe here." She honestly didn't know how to express what she was feeling but she wanted him to know that he always made her happy. "It can be like before. I mean, I feel different about us, not not in a bad way, you know? It's a good way. After going to your house, I just- I don't know. Honestly, I'm just so happy that you're here," She told him, smiling gently. When Rachel saw Chloe walk over, she sat up a little straighter in her chair while she looked over at her friend. She really didn't want her to interrogate Finn, but she obviously had a right to know what was going on. As Finn asked Chloe if it was okay, she saw the girl's expression and Rachel immediately spoke up. "Chloe, can we talk for a second?" She asked softly, getting up and pulling Chloe into the kitchen to get a little bit away from Finn. "You're really going to just... let him live here with you? Get high in your room? You can't spend every second being worried about him." Chloe said, Rachel sighing and looking away for a moment. "Look, I-" "I know you care about him and shit, but you need to think about yourself, too." Rachel knew where her friend was coming from, but Rachel also knew that she couldn't give up on Finn. "I do care about him. And it's fine. I can't just let him go back onto the street, Chloe. He was living on some bench for like a fucking week. Him being here... it's fine. I promise it'll be fine. If he's here, I just- I know he's safer than anywhere else and he knows he has people who care. Just please... please try and support him. He's just so lost and confused and I want to try and help him figure it out. Please just support me on this. If it gets bad... we can talk again. Okay?" Chloe sighed, nodding. "Okay." "Okay, cool. Just... be cool about this." She said before she started to walk back to Finn, her moving behind his chair and wrapping her arms around his chest teasingly. "Are you full now?" She whispered gently, a soft laugh escaping her lips. "If not, I have more food in my room."

Finn could tell that Chloe wasn't happy that he was there and he knew she had every right to feel that way. The last time they had seen each other was when his parents had been moving him out of his and Jamie's apartment and she saw him at one of his lowest points. He knew she probably had a negative view of him in her head but he really hoped that somehow he could convince her that he wouldn't be a huge problem in the house. As Rachel pulled Chloe into the kitchen, Finn closed his eyes and leaned his head in his hands as his elbows rested on the table. He was trying to stay positive somehow but he knew it just wasn't really possible. He didn't know how long Rachel was going to deal with him but he knew that once he managed to fuck this situation up that he would be right back on the street. He pulled his head out of his hands and stared down at his empty plate until he was brought out of his thoughts when Rachel slipped her arms around him. Finn moved one hand up to rest over hers on his chest for a moment before he smiled softly. "I mean, I'm never full but I feel good now," he said as he turned to face her slightly before he got out of his chair. Finn slipped his arms around Rachel's waist and tugged her close to him as he looked down at her, a small smile pulling up at the corner of his lips. "Everything alright?" he asked softly. Finn knew that Rachel could probably convince Chloe to let him stay. That was her best friend, after all. However, he also wasn't sure if Rachel should have the faith in him that she did. He loved that she did, of course, but he knew that he was going to end up letting her down just like he had in the past. "Can we um... can we go back upstairs?" he asked her, knowing that he just wanted to be alone with her. He just wanted to forget the rest of the world existed for a little while.

Rachel wanted to be able to tell Finn the right thing to turn his mood around. Rachel wanted her support to help him as much as possible, but she knew it wasn't realistic. When Finn got out of his chair, she smiled up at him and looked into his eyes, wrapping her arms slightly around his neck while he moved his arms around her waist. "Yeah, everything is perfect," She promised him. It wasn't perfect, really. But she wanted Finn here and she'd do anything to convince everyone that things were fine and that he could stay and be fine here. Rachel really wanted things to be perfect for him and she knew that she was going to do everything possible to make sure he was comfortable and safe. "Of course we can go back upstairs." Rachel moved her hands down his chest for a moment before pulling away from him and going to grab his hand. She went to grab his hand, intertwining her fingers with his before looking to meet his gaze. "Come on," She murmured softly, her going to pull him up towards her room again. "I promise you that everything is okay, alright? No one will give you problems from being here. And if they do, I'll fuck them up," She teased gently before reaching her room and opening the door before closing it behind them. "I know that this is random, but if you have laundry or whatever, I'm gonna do laundry tomorrow so I can wash some of your stuff," She said before moving to sit on her bed, resting against the headboard. "I missed you being in here with me. It was always so nice to have you here. I slept so good all of the time." A small smile rose on her lips before she took in a deep breath. "I know that you're... not okay, but... are you okay with this? I know you're thankful for being here but if something I'm doing is making you uncomfortable or someone else makes you uncomfortable please just... let me know."

Finn knew Rachel wasn't telling the truth when she said that everything was perfect but he wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that things were going to be okay somehow. When she moved her hands down his chest for a moment before taking his hand in hers, he couldn't help but smile softly. She was good for him. So, so good for him and he just wanted to spend all his time focusing on her because nothing could be bad when Rachel was involved. "You're going to fuck them up, huh? I gotta see that," he said with a soft laugh as they walked into her room together. He felt a bit better the moment he was alone with her and when she started talking about laundry, he offered her a small smile. "I mean, I do have some laundry. I could only really bring what fit in the bag and it's kind of all, you know, mostly dirty clothes by now," he told her, his gaze on her as she moved to sit on her bed. When she told him that she had missed him being there with her, he smiled softly as he moved over to the bed, him laying down next to her. "I'm okay with this if you're okay with this," he told her. "You don't - you could never make me uncomfortable. And trust me, I'm not worried about anyone making me uncomfortable. I just... I don't want to make anyone here uncomfortable and I don't want to start problems for you because you have me here." Finn sighed before he rested his head in Rachel's lap, him closing his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face against her stomach for a moment. "I just missed you," he breathed out against her before he pulled away slightly, him looking up at her and a sigh escaping his lips. Finn moved to sit up, him facing Rachel and looking into her eyes before he shifted his gaze downwards once more. "I need you to promise me that if you're uncomfortable or stressed out because of me that you'll tell me, okay? Because if I'm bad for you, I'm going to leave, Rachel. I - I promise that I will be honest with you with what I'm thinking and doing but I need you to promise me. I need you to promise you'll tell me if you need me to go," he said, knowing that he just needed her to stop protecting him and protect herself from him if that was what things came to.

Rachel knew that things were definitely going to be interesting now. Now, she knew that she wouldn't be alone in here and it would be weird to adjust to sleeping next to someone. She wasn't going to be used to sleeping next to someone every night for a while, but she definitely knew that she'd love getting to wake up next to Finn. It wasn't the same Finn that she knew before, but she knew that he was in there somewhere behind this disguise he had on. As Finn moved onto the bed, she kept a small smile on her lips as she looked at him. "I'm definitely okay with this. Finn, you'll be fine. No one is going to be uncomfortable. Most of the time, you're going to be with me and I- I know that everyone is going to be fine," She said, her watching as he went to lay his head in her lap for a moment. She could feel her heart swell in her chest as she looked down at him, her hand moving to run through his hair slightly. Honestly, she never wanted to trade this for anything. She loved being with him and she just wanted more than anything for her and Finn to have something normal. She wanted to just give Finn a normal life. Rachel removed her hand from his hair as he went to sit up and look into her eyes. She didn't want to say yes, but she nodded gently, moving to meet his gaze again. "I will be honest with you. I'll tell you. But I- I'm not going to want you to go." She paused, her moving to take one of his hands in hers. "I want you here. I want to be that person to... to help you. And to support you even when no one else does. I know you don't have a lot of those people and I know that you need them. I can see how you are right now. And you're not yourself. Not just because of the drugs. You just... aren't you. And I- I want to be there for you. I told you at your dad's house that I cared about you and that I wanted to be there for you and help you. I didn't change that. I cried in front of you for forever that day. And I wasn't lying when I said all that." Rachel smiled sadly as she continued to look at him. "You're always welcome here. You're always welcome in this house and in my bed and in my life. I mean that. Finn, I just- I can't let you go again because I'm afraid I'll never have any part of you ever again."

Finn knew Rachel wouldn't want him to leave even if he was effecting her negatively. He knew how they felt about each other and he would obviously be the same way with her but he knew that he couldn't be a negative person in her life anymore. He wasn't going to let that happen anymore. "I know you won't want me to go but if I'm hurting you, I have to," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. When she took his hand hers, he laced their fingers together and he looked down sadly when she told him that she wanted to be the person to help him. "I just don't know if I can be helped," he told her. As she continued to speak, telling him that he was always welcome in this house, her bed and her life, he looked at her with affection in his gaze. "I'm so scared I'm going to hurt you, Rachel," he breathed out. "I know you meant every word that you said and that's what freaks me out, you know? I know you'll always be there for me. I know that you'll do whatever you can to help me and it scares the hell out of me when I need you to do what's best for you. I just - I don't want you to hurt yourself in the process of trying to help me. I promise, I'm not worth you losing every amazing thing you have going for you." Finn sighed softly as he looked down before he brought his gaze back to meet Rachel's. "I want to get high right now," he told her. "Even though I'm sitting here with you a-and I know it's wrong and I know you don't want me to, I still want it so badly," he said softly. "And I can't just stop, Rach. Even when I really do start trying, it's not just... it's not just over after that. I was clean for two weeks and I felt like I was dying. I was so sick... I couldn't stop throwing up or having the chills and everything just hurt." Finn looked at her with sadness in his gaze before he moved his hand from hers as he looked down. "I don't want you to get your hopes up and get hurt because of me. A part of me doesn't want you to get attached to me more than you already are because I don't know if I - I don't know if I'll make it through this."

Rachel hated how Finn was always so down on himself. Finn always said that she shouldn't waste her time on him and she just didn't understand. She wished that he could just see that she wanted to help him and she didn't care about him being down. It wasn't like he was taking advantage of her -- she wanted to help. He was in a bad place and he just couldn't see all of that sometimes. "You're not going to hurt me," She told him, her looking at him and offering him a small smile. She knew that he could hurt her and that if something horrible happened to him, she'd be absolutely devastated. However, she wasn't going to stop helping him because she was scared. "I get that you want to protect me from all the shit you're doing but I'm not stupid. I'm going to... to see all of this shit that you're doing and I just- I don't want you to be scared of hurting me. And listen, I just- if you want to get high, then that's on you, Finn. I told you that you could do whatever you wanted." Rachel didn't want him to feel like he had to listen to her rules -- she just wanted him to live his normal life. She just felt so much better that he was here and at least safer than being on the streets. "Finn, you keep saying all of this shit to me and you know that I don't care. Look, if you're going to hurt me, that's my problem in the end. And like I said at your dad's house all of that time ago, I just- I don't understand why you keep telling me that you're bad for me. If you are, so what, alright? It's my decision to keep seeing you and I don't know why you're pushing people away who give a fuck about you, Finn. I care about you. And you're gonna just have to accept that, alright?" She said, looking at him and crossing her arms over her chest after he let go of her hand. "You're here and I'm here and we just... we know that we're good together and that's just... all I'm saying, I guess. You're here and I'm just here to be there for you. I'm not going to force you to do anything. I just want you to have a roof over your head and for you to have someone who cares about you, okay? Please. Stop trying to push me away because I'm not going anywhere."

Finn didn't want to hurt Rachel and he knew he was going to. He did't trust himself to do the right thing and a part of him truly didn't know if he was ever going to get clean. While a part of him knew that he had to get clean if he wanted to have any actual future with Rachel or in life, he also didn't exactly want to. Despite how bad it was for him, he liked getting high. He liked not feeling anything and he loved the escape that heroin provided him. From the first moment he shot up, he had never felt anything like it and it wasn't just something that he was going to simply give up. It just wasn't that easy. When she told him that she cared about him and that he was going to have to accept that, he smiled sadly as he looked into her eyes, watching as she crossed her arms over her chest. He bit down on his lip as she spoke, his eyes on hers and when she told him that she wasn't going anywhere, he was pretty sure he had never felt more affection towards anyone in his life than he did towards her. "I - okay. I'll stop," he said softly. "You're the most stubborn person I've ever met in my life, you know that?" Finn couldn't help but smile as he looked at her and he knew it was the first genuine smile that had been on his face in a long time. "Look how serious you are right now with your arms crossed. I feel like I was in trouble," he said with a laugh. Finn smiled at her once more before he looked down at his hands, a soft sigh escaping his lips. "I never really wanted you to see me shoot up but I um... I know I obviously can't control that now." Finn bit down on his lip before he got up from her bed. While she had obviously seen him high plenty of times, she had never witnessed him actually getting high and while he didn't want her to see it, he knew there was really no other option at this point. He moved over to his bag before he dug out two tiny bags of heroin and everything he needed. "I try and um... I try and get high before I go to sleep because I can kind of function, you know? I just go to sleep and then I wake up and get high and I kind of have the day to be normal. I just have to keep it at least two times a day otherwise I start getting withdrawals," he explained to her as he dumped the heroin onto the foil he had with him, him flicking on his lighter as he melted it down before he poured it carefully into the needle. "I promise, I'm gonna try my best to... to keep up with that so I'm not like... a fucking mess when everyone else is around. I'll keep it in here and then during the day I'll be sober," he said softly. He hated that he was bringing this into her life but he knew if she wanted him to leave, that she would have told him to leave by now.

Rachel wished that Finn didn't have to keep telling her that she was getting herself into a bad situation. She did understand, though. She knew what she was getting herself into, but at the same time, she also didn't know. Sometimes, he terrified her but other times she didn't want anything other than him. She wanted to take all of the problems that he had and figure them out for him. However, she knew that wasn't exactly realistic. Rachel chuckled softly at his words, her looking at him as she sat against the headboard. "Mm, yeah. I am pretty stubborn. You should know that. You're going to get used to it, though." Rachel wasn't exactly sure how they were going to be right next to each other every second of the day and night, but she was sure that it would be interesting. Rachel just stayed silent as she watched him move over to his bag, seeing him grab things out of it. Rachel really hadn't ever seen him shoot up, though she'd done a variety of other things with him before. But this was something she knew she wasn't prepared for but she would be getting used to. She wished he could just stop, but she understood that it was unrealistic for him to just stop and never look back. She understood addiction but she just wished that he could at least try to stop. Rachel looked down for a moment before moving to look back at him. "Yeah. I just- I mean, no one is ever going to come in this room, so... you don't need to feel weird about not showing your face all day, you know? If you just... need to be in here, that's fine. I really don't want you to be an absolute mess all day and we can just... do things together, you know? The you that you were a few months ago was just... not cool. You were so angry and... and we were always fighting and now that you're here we can just actually have some time together if you ever feel up to it." She paused for a moment before sighing. "I know that I've never been with you when you've been like this, but I- I want to know what it's like for you. It's weird and kind of scary but I just kind of want to know, in a weird way."

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "I don't want them to know I'm getting high. I just - I don't want them to know. Obviously Chloe knows and you know but... I'm not going to get you in trouble or make them feel uncomfortable, okay? Just - please don't tell them, okay? I promise I'm going to hide it and if that means staying in here most of the day, that's fine. That's what I did at my dad's house anyway. I just... I was just there all day long getting high while he was at work so that I'd be normal by the time he got home. As for me being angry... I'm not gonna be like that anymore. I was just... I don't know, trying to push you away, I guess. All of this would be a lot easier if you all hated me," he said softly. When she told him that she wanted to know what it was like for him, Finn looked away from the needle as he looked into her eyes. "It's not weird. I get it. I mean, I gave up everything for it, right? Of course you'd want to know what the fuck it does for me that made me do this," he said softly. "When I first started I was doing coke with it too but I can't afford it anymore," he told her. Finn sighed as he looked down at his arm, him making his hand into a fist and tensing as he tried to find his vein. "This vein is done already. It won't take, so I moved to another one," he explained to her. He knew to most people it would be morbid, the way he was speaking to her, but he knew that she just wanted him to be honest. She didn't want him to hide from her anymore so, he was done hiding. If she wanted to know what was going on with him and what was happening in his life, he was going to let her in and he was going to make sure he straight up with her. "So I just... I just squeeze my hand and... and do it," he explained to her before he pressed the needle into his skin, him pressing it down so the drugs entered his body. Finn tugged the needle from his arm once it was empty and set it down on the bed next to him, his whole body relaxing as he felt the start of the high wash over him. "It's the best part here," he whispered, his words beginning to slur as he hunched over on the bed. "It all um... it all stops. The world stops and you - you're okay," he mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before they opened, him struggling to hold himself up as he looked at Rachel.

Rachel really didn't know how to react to all of this. It wasn't like she was exactly prepared to watch Finn get high right in front of her, but she figured it had to happen eventually. A part of Rachel really wanted to look away. She wanted to forget about this all and never have to think about Finn getting high ever again. However, she knew that this was at least a part of her life now because he was a part of her life and she wasn't going to let him go away. Rachel really didn't want him to continue to do this and continue to act like this, but she had already begged him to stop enough times -- it needed to be on him to stop because he clearly didn't want to stop. Rachel just looked at him as he spoke to her, Rachel biting down on the inside of her cheek for a moment. She honestly didn't even know how she didn't wince when she saw the needle disappear slightly under her skin, but she just felt like everything was moving in slow motion and like she was numb. It was really strange, honestly. How her life had turned into this from just a few parties with Finn. She watched hims set the needle down on the bed next to him and she just watched him for a moment before she felt her heart ache slightly in her chest. She didn't know how he was doing this -- how he was ruining his life like this. However, almost instantly, she could tell how much the drugs were affecting him. When she watched him hung over slightly, she tried to help him into his original position, her holding onto him gently and running her hand along his arm gently. She looked into his eyes for a moment before she moved her hand to his cheek and cupped it gently for a moment. She really didn't know what to say because she really didn't think that there was anything to say at all. However, she could feel so many words on the tip of her tongue that she wanted to say but she just couldn't. "You scare the hell out of me sometimes," She whispered after a long while of just looking at him, her words barely leaving her lips. She wasn't even sure if she actually spoke it because she just felt so incredibly confused and conflicted about everything. Rachel leaned against him slightly and she felt a solemn feeling completely wash over her. "I know I've been with you when you were high a lot of times, but I- I don't think I'll ever get used to it." Rachel ran her hand over his arm again before looking down at his chest. Obviously, Finn had done this an incredible amount of times, but it didn't mean that she wasn't going to be terrified of something happening to him now.

Finn didn't necessarily want Rachel to see him get high but he knew that they reached a point where that was what was going to happen. He was staying with her and he wasn't going to stop so she was going to see him shoot up eventually. He'd rather it be with her knowing and him explaining everything than her walking in on him randomly doing it. After the drugs were in his system, the hit him hard and while he knew he probably had taken a bit more than he should have, he loved the feeling more than anything. He loved pushing his body because the more he could take, the better he felt. He knew it was wrong and he knew he could die. Hell, it wasn't like everyone didn't remind him of that every second of the day. But he didn't care. God, he just didn't care anymore. If all he had left of his life was the rush he got from heroin, he figured it was better than nothing. But then there was Rachel. As she helped him sit up slightly and cupped his cheek in her hand, he blinked slowly as he looked at her with unfocused eyes. "I know," he breathed out in response to her words, his own words feeling heavy on his tongue. He knew that he scared her and it was part of the reason why he had been trying so hard to avoid her. He had been trying so hard not to put her in this situation with him. When she leaned against him, he let his eyes slip shut for a moment. Everything felt so heavy and while his mind was usually silent and at peace every time he was high, this time was different. This time he could only think of Rachel. "I don't wanna do this to you," he breathed out, his hand moving to rest on her leg as he sat beside her. "I'm sorry," he told her. Finn knew he had apologized too many times to count. He knew she didn't want him to keep saying it but he couldn't help it. He was sorry. It effected her even if she acted like it didn't and he just wanted her to know he was sorry even if he didn't seem to know how to show it. "I think I'm gonna die like this," he whispered. Finn's eyes fluttered open for a moment, his gaze on his hand on her leg before they slipped shut once again, him starting to hunch forward once more.

Rachel had been around Finn when he was high plenty of times. However, she still had never really been around him when he was quite like this. Rachel just looked at Finn as he sat next to her, making sure to keep close to him. She doubted that he was really fully here right now, but she was just happy to see him and to know that he was here with her. "Don't apologize," She breathed out, feeling his hand move to rest on her leg. "You don't need to apologize. It's okay." It really wasn't fine like she kept saying it was, but what was she supposed to say? It wasn't her life. She couldn't control what he did. All he could do was hope that he'd stop one day and that he'd be able to live a normal life. "Hey... hey," She breathed out, her moving over to him and helping him lean back slightly so he wouldn't fall over. She knew that if he fell over or fell onto his side, she really wouldn't be able to pick him up or move him because she just didn't have the strength. "Don't talk like that." She really didn't want him to always be negative, especially since she knew that she'd start to get in a worse mood right with him if it kept continuing. Rachel moved to rest one hand over the one that he had on her leg, gripping onto it gently. Leaning over close to him, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, her lips lingering against his skin for a moment. A part of her wished that things would change overnight, but she knew that it wasn't exactly possible. Things changing that quickly just weren't possible when Finn was like this. "You're fine," She said softly, her rubbing her hand over his before she just rested her head against his shoulder. Closing her eyes, Rachel took in a deep breath and let it out softly, concentrating on his chest that was rising and falling slowly. "How are you feeling?" She asked him, concentrating on the movement of his chest.

Finn opened his eyes when he felt Rachel help him sit up properly again. He was barely aware of anything other than how heavy he felt and his hand on Rachel's leg. When she told him not to talk negatively, he just nodded from where he was seated beside her. The second she pressed her lips to his cheek, he turned his head to look at her, him just nodding when she said that he was fine. Finn knew that this wasn't good. He knew getting high was slowly killing him but as much as he wanted to stop, he also couldn't. "I feel okay," he told her. "It... this shuts off the bad stuff," he told her, his words slurring together slightly. "I don't have to think when I... when I'm high." Finn managed a small smile as he sat with Rachel, his eyes shut as he just focused on feeling good with her by his side. He wasn't sure how much time passed where they stayed like that but when he felt himself gaining a bit more control, he knew he was okay. The initial hit was always the most intense part and while he was absolutely still high, his brain was gaining back the ability to speak and seem like he was functioning just fine. "Fuck," he breathed out, him turning his head slightly to look at Rachel, him taking her hand gently in his. "I'm alright," he whispered softly. "I feel good now," he told her. "It just... it really hits you at first but then you feel good once you... once you adjust," he explained before he moved to lay down on the bed, a small smile on his face as he closed his eyes.

Rachel was just trying to enjoy Finn so she didn't feel horrible about this entire situation. Rachel trusted Finn, she did. But she didn't trust him to not make horrible decisions like this. Honestly, she just felt like she needed to let him do his own thing, but she also felt terrible because she couldn't do anything. This was Finn's life and she just needed to push him in the right direction to help him as much as possible. Rachel didn't dare say anything else as she sat with Finn, not wanting to ruin whatever he was feeling. She just wanted him to feel what he always felt and she didn't want to be a burden like she sometimes felt she was. Once he turned his head slightly, she moved slightly against the headboard, her turning her head to look over at him. "Okay," She breathed out softly, her looking at him as he went to lay down on the bed. She stayed sitting up for a moment as she looked down at him, her sighing softly. She didn't want to say she was scared. A part of her wasn't, but this was all incredibly new to her. Rachel had her crazy time in her life -- she spent entire days getting high and partying but she had never experienced anything like this. Rachel went to lay down with him for a moment and she let out a soft breath. She stared at him for a moment, trying to just memorize his face for a moment. "I know I said it before but I- I'm so glad that you're here," She whispered softly, her biting down on her bottom lip gently. Rachel had never experienced anything like he was feeling and a part of her never really wanted to especially after seeing how Finn was right in front of her. "And I'm glad you feel somewhat normal now."

Finn just let himself focus on the high that he was feeling and he knew this moment was exactly why he couldn't just stop. He loved being high. He loved feeling the euphoria and numbness that heroin game him. The drugs shut off the doubts in his brain. They made him not think about the fact that he had fucked up his life so badly and he knew that he just wanted to stay this way forever sometimes. When he was sober, he was depressed and he just wanted to escape that in any way he could. Even something as dangerous as heroin. When Rachel told him that she was glad he was there, he opened his eyes and looked at her with a small smile on his face. "I'm happy I'm here too. I missed you a lot. I don't like not being with you, you know? You're like... you're my person," he told her. "I feel better than normal," he whispered. "Normal isn't good. This is good, I promise." Finn looked up at her and met her gaze before he moved his hand up to brush his fingers against her cheek. "You're so fucking beautiful." Finn smiled at her once more before he let his hand fall back down to his side. "I wish you were my girlfriend, you know? But I know you can't be," he said softly. "Maybe one day." Finn wasn't sure if it would happen because he knew that meant he would have to give up the drugs but he certainly hoped that he would be strong enough. He looked up at her once more before his eyes fluttered closed, him feeling a wave of exhaustion roll over him. "I think that one day... one day we'll um... we'll be okay. We'll be..." his voice drifted off as he fell into a light sleep, his body relaxing as he laid beside Rachel.

Rachel didn't know how Finn could do this every single day and act like nothing was wrong, but she also knew that Finn wasn't exactly Finn right now. All his body wanted was the drugs and he really didn't have much say to try and change that desire. As he moved his fingers to brush against her cheek, she smiled gently as she looked at him and sighed contently. While Finn was high, it was still the Finn she knew. She still cared about her and he still wanted to be close to her and she loved that she still got to do that. Hearing him talk about her being his girlfriend, she smiled sadly. "Yeah. One day, Finn. Okay? I promise." Rachel knew that her and Finn really did have a chance at being something, but she didn't want to spend her entire relationship with him just taking care of him or watching him get high all day. "We're gonna be okay, Finn. Don't worry about it." It was going to take a while, she knew that. It was going to take forever for Finn to really get clean and to be okay. Watching as he started to drift off to sleep, she waited for a moment before bringing her hand to his chest, ensuring that she could feel his chest rising and falling with every breath. Once she listened to him breathe for a few moments, she went to lay on her back, Rachel bringing both of her hands to rub over her face. "Fuck," She breathed out, moving to look up at the ceiling. It felt impossible to really accept this situation, but at this point? If she wanted Finn to be safe or if she wanted to be close to him? She had to just try and go with the flow and accept the situation so she didn't go crazy in response to Finn's actions.

#I Think You Think Too Much of Me

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savinscripts · 7 years ago

Text

Frailty (HP AU)

❝ I love snow for the same reason I love Christmas: It brings people together while time stands still. Cozy couples lazily meandered the streets and children trudged sleds and chased snowballs. No one seemed to be in a rush to experience anything other than the glory of the day, with each other, whenever and however it happened. ❞

Txt: {to Fane} Hey. Sorry to text like this, but something came up last minute that I just can’t get out of.

Txt: {to Fane} Can we take a rain check on dinner? Next week maybe? If that’s okay?

Txt: {to Fane} I’m really really sorry.

Faye hit send on the last text and let the phone fall to the bed. She felt like a complete ass. Mostly because the situation was her own damn fault. She’d slipped on the ice on her walkway and fallen. Hard. She didn’t hit her head, but her right hip had taken the brunt of the impact. Which was almost worse.

The pain that had shot like a white-hot sledgehammer through her entire leg and up her back was almost enough to make her pass out. But she hadn’t, else she’d still be laying in the snow. But she had lain there for a good ten minutes, too afraid to move, thinking she’d done herself grevious harm by not being careful. She knew the walkway was prone to icing. But she’d been running late already and didn’t watch her step.

And down she went.

Finally, she’d gotten up the courage to move, and breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t broken her hip. Again. The injury was an old one, taken in the line of duty about three years prior, as were the scars that lined her right side from ankle to just under her breast, and licked along her right forearm. All received at the same time, all because once again, she’d been stupid.

She’d fractured the head of her femur that day, and cracked her pelvis, along with the other injuries she’d suffered. Two months in hospital. Nearly two years in and out of rehab. And ever since, in the cold and the wet, the joint grew stiff and painful. It had already been aching fiercely, but not enough to put off her dinner with Fane.

After three months, they’d started seeing each other pretty regularly. Not seeing seeing, as in going on dates or anything, but just as friends. He was supposed to make dinner tonight. Needless to say, as Faye could barely walk, she couldn’t very well go to dinner. Not when the tiniest movement made her cry out in pain. She’d managed to make it inside, pale and trembling as she shut the front door behind herself. Her coat and scarf didn’t make it to the coatrack and lay discarded on the floor. She’d grabbed the old cane from where it stood just beside the door and somehow made it to the bathroom for her pain medication. She had sat on the toilet lid for a good thirty minutes waiting on the medicine to kick in, and the nausea to pass, and once it did, and the euphoria started to set in instead, Faye had made her slow way up the stairs to her room.

She’d settled down in the bed, in tears from the climb even after the meds, and tried her best to get comfortable. She’d texted Fane, then texted her boss to let him know what was going on, and that she would need the day tomorrow, and maybe the next. Scratch, her cat, jumped up and lay down beside her as he always did when she was hurting, and Faye curled her fingers into his fur as she willed herself to finally pass out.

She would be black and blue tomorrow, and probably stiff as a board, But she would manage just fine on her own. She always did.

Fane had been in the process of cooking the meal he was supposed to be sharing with Faye this evening; an entirely platonic meal, a meal between friends that did not constitute at all as a date. A meal that Faye happened to be late for. Which in itself had already set alarms off because Faye… well, she was never late. Ever. This was just like any one of the other dinners they shared in a week on the days she often ended up walking back with him from the Ministry for a drink or two. Or, on the other evenings they arranged between them.

Suffice to say, things between them had been settling and Fane was thankful for it. What he hadn’t been expecting however, was to receive a string of texts saying she couldn’t make it and he frowned at the screen of his phone for a long amount of time wondering just what had come up for her to not be here. Thinking back to the last evening she’d been here he couldn’t recall doing anything out of the ordinary, they’d been growing more comfortable and since a murder of someone he’d known had all but set him on a warpath to track down the person responsible she’d practically tagged along with him rather the other way around.

At least that’s what really happened, officially he’d merely been a ‘consultant’ on the case. Ridiculous really. Though he’d found himself with quite a knack for the art of hunting people down, his previous history in the area of hunting rogue Death Eaters notwithstanding… Whatever the case was, it had led to Fane riding shotgun on several investigations since which had made many of the Ministry tetchy not that he ever thought about what would truly benefit the bureaucracy that still trembled whenever he walked by. He wasn’t an idiot, he saw the looks he received but he chose to ignore them. Plus, it meant more time getting to see what Faye did in her day to day work which he’d admittedly been curious about. Still, this was odd and Fane couldn’t quite help the slight disappointment that set in his chest at the thought of not seeing her this evening but tapped out a response quickly.

[TEXT @ Faye]: Hey, no worries. Hope everything’s okay. [TEXT @ Faye]: Sure, yeah next week will work. I’m free. [TEXT @ Faye]: Don’t worry about it. Just take care alright? [TEXT @ Faye]: Let me know if you need anything.

Sending the last one off he frowned at the screen, wondering what might’ve come up to cause her to cancel but ultimately figured he might as well finish cooking and so, like many an evening over the last fifteen years he served up a single plate and took a seat to eat at the table by himself.

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The next day as per any other day Fane breezed through the Ministry of Magic head high and cutting an impressive figure in one of his new suits and carrying a small bag. If Faye hadn’t been able to make dinner last night, well, he’d just have to bring it to her today. At least that had been the plan, because Faye, dedicated, hardworking, goddamn stubborn Faye never took a day off in the entire history of his time back around London. No matter how much of a bad influence he tried to be in getting her to go and do things he found interesting here and there in the city (of which there were numerous).

“What d’you mean she’s taken a personal day? Faye never takes a personal day.”

“I’m sorry Mister Savin… I’m not at liberty to discuss the business of my employees with you. All I can tell you is that she’s taken a personal day and isn’t feeling well. That’s it.”

“Bloody hell,” Fane muttered as the Captain of this divisionary branch walked off “fat lot of good you were mate.” Still, Fane couldn’t help the marginal creep of friendly concern -- not worry, or panic… just very friendly concern for Faye and her whereabouts.

A little snooping later (and a few winning smiles), Fane got ahold of Faye’s general contact details and her contactable address. Making a note of it he set out quite determined to figure out what was going on to cause the auror who never took a day off even if it killed her to do exactly that.

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After arriving, Fane checked on his phone that he definitely did have the correct address surprised to learn that Faye still lived in her grandma’s old house but considering the secluded nature of the countryside house and rush of the river nearby he figured it was. The house was pretty, if a little on the older side and he could hear the birds chirping in the trees while his breath clouded on the air from the very unexpected frost that had settled in this week. Rare, but Fane preferred it to the warmth. “Well-- here goes nothing” he said to no one in particular as he trudged off towards the house having changed out of his nicer clothes for something simpler and warmer considering the countryside climate versus that of the city.

Melting the ice on the path with a few heating charms, Fane finally arrived at the front door looking up and around for a doorbell but finding none explaining why he shifted the items he’d brought along to the crook of his elbow and settled for raising a fist and knocking loudly and firmly on the heavy oak panelling unsure if she’d even answer for someone turning up unexpectedly.

“Goddammit…” Faye cursed, slamming the medicine cabinet shut with enough force that it came open again. She caught it with her hand and forced it to close, leaning heavily on the sink basin with her other. The pain in her hip flared, throbbing up her entire right side like someone had a vice twisted down into her marrow. Nausea rolled over her, and she felt slightly dizzy for a few moments before the spell passed. When it did, she looked up at herself in the mirror. Her hair was down and lay messily around her shoulders. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she was pale and drawn, no makeup on to cover how ill she felt. She wore long pj pants and a sweater that hung off one shoulder, a tanktop beneath, and her feet were bare. Bending over to put on socks was too much trouble.

Faye was downstairs in the bathroom, searching for her last bottle of pain meds - having exhausted her next to last without knowing. When the knock on the door sounded, she frowned, as she didn’t get many visitors out here. Only a few people knew where she lived It could be Maya, though she doubted it, as it was fairly on in the evening. It wouldn’t be Tuah; he’d never been to her home. And it certainly wouldn’t be anyone from work. Because, well… they knew better.

But the wards hadn’t sounded either, so whoever it was, they meant no harm.

Sighing, and realizing that the last bottle of pain meds that she’d used may have been her actual last bottle, Faye grabbed her crutches from where they leaned against the wall, and her wand off the sink. Wishing for nothing more than to hobble back upstairs and drink enough whiskey to pass out, Faye made her slow, painful way towards the front door. Her cat Scratch bounded ahead, jumping up on the little bench in the entryway to see who the visitor was.

Balancing herself as best she could, Faye opened the door a small bit to see who it was. And nearly fell over.

“Fane?” she said, her utter surprise clearly evident. “What… what’re you doin’ here?” A thousand things flashed through her mind in the span of seconds. How did he find her house? Why was he here? Was he alright? Were their friends alright? Christ she looked like a mess… And the crutches… Fuck.

Realizing that she was standing there gaping at him, and that it was freezing outside, she backed up as best she could and opened the door. “Come in before you catch cold…” she told him, though the nerves were evident in her voice. She shut the door behind him, doing her best to throw a mask over the pain she was in. “What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

Fane wasn’t sure how long he stood on the doorstep, mind going back to the last time he was here… It must’ve been-- Probably summer? Between fourth and fifth year, Fane had more often than not convinced Faye to take him into the city to go exploring Muggle London. He could’ve done it alone, but what fun was that when you could have company on such ventures? He’d used some of his earnings in the Leaky Cauldron to get them theatre tickets to go and see a show before he’d made sure she’d gotten back home.

Seventeen years give or take.

He remembered Faye’s gram as well, the old woman nothing but good to him whenever he had been here. What had happened to her? He’d have to ask Faye, perhaps she’d gone somewhere? He hoped so, he’d like to see her again.

Fane turned his head as movement in a side panel drew his attention, frowning a little as he eyed the cat that peered out at him warily. He really, really didn’t like cats. Even at Hogwarts he generally refused to hang around them. But, he was here for Faye not the cat Match? Patch? Snatch? Whatever. However, it was the moment the door opened a crack he offered her a smile though his eyes betrayed the concern he felt even from the glimpse he got of her in that moment. “Um-- I heard you were off ill, so…” he shrugged a little uncertainly but lifted the bouquet of lilies he’d brought along “I brought you some things that I thought might… help?” It sounded rather pathetic to his ears, and it was only standing there on her doorstep that he realised he’d presumed that she would still like lilies as much as she had sixteen years ago…

What if she didn’t like them anymore? What if she liked a different flower more? And what if she didn’t like lavender so much anymore? The internal panic notched its way up as he stood there with a hopeful smile barely registering the cold in his mild panic that she’d hate it or just want him to leave her alone.

When the door opened Faye appeared looking-- in all honesty awful, his eyes moved to the crutches she used to support herself and he felt a small guilt gnaw in his stomach over the fact he was here disturbing her especially when she was so clearly suffering. “Jesus--” he breathed slightly shocked “I’m sorry if I-- disturbed you or… Are you okay?” he paused realising what a dumb question that was and winced almost immediately after saying it “sorry… no ignore that… um..” he trailed off awkwardly feeling his ears grow a little hot.

But she seemed to want him to come inside and he hesitated before relenting if only to stop her from catching the draft from outside. She tried to hide the pain, but it was hard to mask it when he’d already seen it there before she could hide it again “yeah-- no, no… I mean-- um. Everything’s fine… sorry nothing’s going on… I just…” what? “I wanted to come ‘n’ check you were okay…” he trailed off a little lamely entirely forgetting that he had to give her the items he’d brought and instead just hung onto them.

Faye saw the way his eyes caught the crutches, and felt her own guilt flare up for not simply telling him what was going on. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for him to see her like this. Though it appeared she was going to have to be. Turning him away was something she just didn’t have the heart to do, pride or no.

But as he held up the items in his hands, Faye couldn’t help but smile genuinely. “Fane… they’re beautiful… you didn’t have to do that though... “ She loved lilies. Always had. And for him to remember and bring them to try and make her feel better… even Faye couldn’t deny that it was utterly endearing. So her smile was genuine, even if her stomach fluttered with nervousness. For more than one reason.

“No, no… you’re not botherin’ me… I’m alright. Just took a spill on the walk.” Which was the truth, such as it was. He came inside and Faye shut the door behind him, taking a moment as she faced away from him to take a steadying breath before turning back. She didn’t know he’d already caught on to the fact that she was hurting, so she gestured he should follow her into the kitchen. The crutches clicked on the wood floor as she clearly favored her right side, aided or not.

Scratch followed, tail flicking lazily as he sized Fane up.

“I’m fine, really. You didn’t have to trek all the way out here in the cold,” she said over her shoulder. “Though now that you’re here, are you hungry? I’ve got some soup or… well, I’m not real sure what all I have.” The soup had been all she was able to stomach the last day or so, the nausea from the pain when broke through her medication making her unable to tolerate anything else. Moving towards the cabinets, not thinking that perhaps she should ask him to help, Faye leaned one crutch against it and used the other to brace herself as she opened one of the doors up top. There was a vase up there that would be perfect for the flowers, and normally she could reach it. She stretched her hand out, standing on her tiptoes, most of her weight on her left leg, and got her fingers around the base.

But it only took the barest bit of pressure, the overstretching of the ligaments in her right hip, to send a flare of pain up her back and down her leg. She let out a sharp, pained sound as her leg suddenly folded and she caught herself on the counter. The vase slipped out and fell to the floor, shattering.

Faye’s face flamed red, and she reached for her other crutch. But in her haste and discomfort, she missed, bumping it instead, and if fell to the floor. “Goddammit…” she cursed, leaning on her other leg and feeling like nothing more than a weakling, incapable and crippled. And she hated herself for letting him see her like this. So she blamed it on the pain that she couldn’t speak, which was partly true, But it was her pride, and her shame, that kept her quiet.

Though Fane had never needed words to know when she was hurting. Damn him.

He was curious about them, he’d be lying to say he wasn’t but Fane also knew that if Faye hated anything it was a big deal being made out of something she was trying not to make a big deal out of. So, while his eyes lingered momentarily on the crutches they returned to her a few moments later. “Yeah well.. I wanted to,” was all he could think of to say in answer to that unsure just what else he should say to her in a situation like this.

“If you’re sure…” he murmured though he frowned as she mentioned taking a fall “the path was pretty icy… I melted the ice on my way up.” While she steadied herself Fane took the time to re familiarise with the interior of the house, it hadn’t changed too much from what he remembered though there were a few bits and pieces that he didn’t recognise. The click of the crutches caused him to stop his perusal and follow her towards the kitchen deliberately ignoring the cat that seemed intent on rubbing against him as it passed which only made Fane eye the cat for a moment before resuming his ignoring phase towards it.

“S’alright, not like I had anything to do besides stand behind a counter anyways… Plus like I said… I wanted to.” Though as she offered him food he shook his head slightly “actually, it’s another thing I brought for you… It’s the one I used to make when you were ill before” before being when they were kids, but… it seemed to go down well then and he only hoped she wouldn’t mind. As Faye propped a crutch up he frowned “Faye--” but before he could finish the sentence the thing he worried about happening occurred and he could only wince hands too full to be able to cast a spell to catch the vase as it went crashing down.

He practically dumped everything on the counter to hurry over to her side just as the second crutch went flying with his hands free he was able to catch it with a silent accio that brought it straight to his hand while a repario had the vase rebuilding itself in a moment and setting back onto the counter with a small clink, filling up with water and the flowers raised from where he’d discarded them to settle in the vase neatly completing the chain of spells. “C’mon, stop fussing over me being here hm?” he held the crutch out for her to take “you need rest and nothing more than that and don’t even think about arguing with me” his voice was the one he used when he wasn’t about to broker any sort of argument. Which, he wasn’t. “Think you can get upstairs?” he asked looking towards the staircase.

“Oh, yeah?” she said, brightening a bit as he mentioned the food he used to make when they were kids. “You remembered?” Though she still felt a bit bad about him coming out here, but she supposed that if he hadn’t wanted to he wouldn’t have. He always was stubborn. More so than her even. Although that was debatable as she tried to reach the vase and failed spectacularly.

It hurt so much, and she cursed herself for trying to act like she was fine and risk making it worse. All because she was trying to save face. Her eyes were closed tightly as she tried to focus on easing the pain, so she missed the series of flawless spells that Fane cast one after the other. Only when he was standing next to her and holding out the dropped crutch, speaking in that tone she remembered so well, did Faye open them. Slowly, and with a look on her face that told him she was embarrassed, but also well and truly chastised, Faye took the offered crutch. Perhaps it was the sheer volume of pain she was in, or perhaps it was the way he took charge and put his foot down - something deep inside her responding to the dominant tone and knowing look that no one else dared use with her - that stopped any further arguments. “Don’t know…” she sighed, adjusting the crutches under her arms and taking a tentative step forwards.

Her hip throbbed with every movement, but she made it to the bottom of the stairs, though she’d broken out in a cold sweat. Scratch watched quietly from the corner, golden eyes narrowing as Fane followed close behind. Normally when this happened, Faye could bear enough weight on her painful side, along with the crutches, to get her good leg on the next step. Then it was easy to push up and on.

But this time, even moving the joint enough to touch her toes to the floor made her head swim. She swayed a bit to the side, catching herself on the handrail. Her eyes closed again, and she made a sound of distress, knuckles going white against the wood banister. Faye simply shook her head, telling Fane that she wasn’t going to make it up to her room. Not on her own .

“‘Course I did, who do you think I am?” he said with a small smile “I make the best tomato soup with cheddar dumplings in the whole world hm?” But that could wait for later, right now Fane just wanted to get her off her feet and resting.

Faye could see the result of the spellwork later, Fane hardly cared about that when he could tell she was obviously in enormous amounts of pain. So, Fane did what he’d always done when she was being stupid or doing something detrimental to herself; took charge and got things organised so that she didn’t need to worry about them. He knew she was embarrassed but also knew she’d been thoroughly told that this wasn’t good for her and he was here, therefore he was going to help her whether she liked it or not but it was what it was. “Take it slow hm?” Fane said reaching out a hand to gently touch the small of her back just as a reminder he was here to support her if needs be.

Seeing in what a state he was Fane ran through the list of his options right at this moment, and just as quickly as she had smashed the vase he was gone into the kitchen and grabbing one of the chairs bringing it round. “C’mon sit down slowly,” he said simply having a rather ingenious idea to traverse the stairs if he said so himself. Helping her sit down he gathered up the crutches, then, because it was a more intricate piece of spellwork he drew his wand from the sleeve of his jacket a modified ‘wingardium leviosa’ that supported not only the chair but Faye on it as it rose roughly a foot or so from the ground. Enough that slowly he could carry her up the stairs without putting any more pressure through whatever was ailing her considering the doors he picked one he hoped was her room and opening the door he let the spell bring her inside setting the chair down beside the bed where once more he returned to her side “c’mon, let’s get you in okay?”

“I haven’t had that in ages…” she said, remembering how good it had been back in school when she’d had a cold or some other ailment. But all that was waysided by her stubbornness. Faye often wondered why her friends stuck around, or why Fane had stuck with her as long as he had in school, at least until… well. She supposed she had some qualities that made her likeable, else her hard-headedness would have driven everyone away by now. As it was, she only had two good friends: Maya and Tuah. And now Fane again.

She probably shouldn’t look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth. Even now she could see Maya’s expression glaring at her, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. ‘Let him help you, stubborn ass…’ her friend’s voice said. Combined with the gentle touch of Fane’s hand to her back, Faye had no choice but to acquiesce. She moved slowly, unable to go much faster even if she wanted to, and even with Fane at her back she found the stairs an impossible obstacle right now. She’d always said she was going to move her bedroom downstairs, but the cottage was small, with only one guest room downstairs. Besides, it wasn’t like she ended up bedridden very often. If she hadn’t been stupid and fallen on the ice she would have been at Fane’s house having dinner last night, and who knows what she would be doing tonight. Certainly not standing at the foot of her stairs, barely able to stand, her best friend now having to play nursemaid to her frailty.

He moved off for a moment, and Faye didn’t look up as she heard him close by still. Then he was back and she was being ordered to sit. Her breath stuttered, because bending her leg at the hip hurt more than anything, but with Fane’s help she somehow managed it. Through gritted teeth and sheer stubborn willpower, she kept quiet as she let him help her settle back, and then he was moving her up the stairs as effortlessly as if she weighed nothing.

Her bedroom was the largest room upstairs, taking up one side of the hallway, along with the attached bathroom. There was a linen closet in the hallway, and another small, narrow set of stairs up to the attic and the widow’s watch where she kept a small table and chairs. A small office space was on the opposite side of the upstairs balcony, and Faye used it mostly as storage.

The chair settled gently next to her bed, which was merely a large set of mattresses set on the floor. It was messy, Faye having spent the majority of her time over the last day and a half under the covers, shifting restlessly as her pain meds failed to help her rest as they should have. Though honestly they were meant for the simple aches and pains that she was used to living with when the weather got cold and wet, and not a violent fall on the ice that had nearly had her calling the St. Mungo’s Emergency Response Team. Which spoke volumes to how much it had hurt. Faye didn’t ask for help. Ever. As those few close to her knew.

The room was cooler than she would have liked, the brick walls not holding heat all that well, and Faye not casting warming charms - or any magic at all if she could help it - while taking medication. She also hadn’t been able to get outside to get more wood for her fireplace. Ash smoldered where the fire from earlier had gone out a few hours ago. She’d planned on bringing more wood up with her, but realized now that that was the least of her worries.

She looked up at Fane as he stood next to her, ready to help her into bed. “It um... “ Her voice fluttered unsteadily. “It’s easier just to do it in one, instead of going slow…” As steady as she could, she explained to him how she needed to lie on her left side, and how she normally got there when this happened. After steadying herself, her arms gripping his for dear life, they managed to get her settled with mostly minimal fuss. Though she still felt nauseous and light-headed once she was situated. A throbbing, searing pain moved up her back and down her leg with every heartbeat, and Faye tried to shift to ease it, but even the smallest movement caused her discomfort. So she just lay still, a large pillow propped between her knees, supporting her right leg.

“‘M sorry…” she mumbled up at Fane. “You shouldn’t have to do this…” She blinked at him in the warm light from her bedside lamp. “But… thank you… truly…”

“Well, yeah but I’ve made it and I’ll heat it up later for you” Fane had ended up becoming friends with Faye stemming from her curiosity about who he was and the things he could teach her when he’d joined. After all, she’d always been interested in duelling and with him transferring from one of the most prestigious duelling schools in Europe if not the world it had been a no-brainer to at least introduce herself to him. Fane, not having too many friends himself at the time had welcomed the attention gladly and… well, they’d just gone from there really and then friendship… It had developed into something else. Something he had no idea what to do with but had driven him to great feats and great sins in the process.

As it was, Fane didn’t see this as him playing nursemaid all he saw was his friend in pain and it stirred an urge inside of him to do everything in his power to ease that. To cease her pain, even if it meant taking it from her and carrying it himself if only for a little while. But first he needed to get her upstairs, needed to get her settled so that he could figure out just what had happened and how he might be able to help her. He didn’t even take in the decor of the room upstairs, too concerned about Faye to think about anything beyond helping her settle. Though he did notice the coolness of the room which wouldn’t help, and he made a note in the back of his mind to go and fetch some firewood to stoke up the fire for her. Heating charms would do for now though.

“Alright-- whatever you need me to do,” he said gently and once she had given him the instructions he did his best to help lower her gently down into the bed situating the large pillow between her legs so her hip was supported in as neutral a position as possible. Moving to perch on the edge, his own legs stretched out on the floor due to the fact there was simply no height to the bed. Her apology was met with a slight look of confusion, “don’t worry about it… Like I said, I want to be here…” he looked around the room then gauging the distance before he cast a warming spell over the room tucking his wand away and shrugging off his jacket until he was just left in jeans and a thick woolen hoodie “now… What can I do to help? Where does it hurt?” Fane wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong, and he hoped she’d be able to explain to him a little at least what the injury was so he might be able to figure out what he could do. “Do you have any pain potions?”

“I’d like that,” she said quietly as he mentioned the food. But it would have to come later, as she was in no state of mindset to eat right now. Though she was fairly certain he knew that, all things considered. She wasn’t sure what she had expected him to do when she was so obviously hurting, but Faye knew he wasn’t going to leave. Even if she’d gotten angry with him, which there was no reason for of course, he wouldn’t go. What was she going to do? Hex him again? He hadn’t been fazed much when she has done so and been utterly furious, though admittedly not her best spellwork as she was under great surprise and duress. So would he really be affected by her now? When she could barely move?

Unlikely.

But anyway…

He helped her get settled, and Faye closed her eyes for a moment. She felt the room warm a bit after he sat down next to her, which was a relief since she despised being cold. Not even adding the fact that her body tended to betray her from time to time when the weather went crazy. Another shift of the mattress had her opening her eyes, watching him shuffle out of his jacket, long limbs going everywhere. It was hard not to appreciate him, both for being here, and for the figure he cut in jeans and sweater. Faye simply watched him quietly as he looked around, humming instead of protesting again as he told her he wanted to be here.

A moment passed, and then came the inevitable questions. Though she supposed she owed it to him at this point. Leaving him in the dark wouldn’t do any good besides. Faye took a breath, chewing her lip before she finally decided that she might as well tell him the truth. It was a story in and of itself, and not a pleasant one.

“I’m out,” she said of the pain potions. “I don’t… I don’t usually need them. They’re for… regular pain.” Because the truth was that Faye was always in pain. But she’d gotten used to it over the years. It had dulled to a chronic ache, and she was able to ignore it most days.

“My hip,” she started. “Couple of years back… I had an… accident. Work injury. I broke my femur… right at the joint. Fractured my pelvis on that side too.” Faye stopped, unsure how much detail she wanted to go into right now. Because there were scars, thickest over the joint in question, lacing her right side. Burn scars. But she was covered in long pants and sleeves, so they weren’t an issue. “I spent.. Two months I think it was… in hospital. Months in rehab before they would let me come back to work.” She shifted a bit, wincing.

“It never healed right… doctor said there was scar tissue on the bone and in the joint, pressing on the nerves and restrictin’ movement… so now it just… flares up sometimes. Gets stiff. ‘Specially in the cold and wet. ‘S usually fine… aches mostly, but then I… fell. Like an idiot.” She looked away from him, hating herself for looking so weak. “Stupid walkway always freezes up… should know better by now…” she mumbled.

Between getting inside and feeling the need to help Faye he’d forgotten entirely about his jacket and his shoes which he would have typically taken off at the door. As it was he was feeling rather too hot now explaining why he pulled the jacket off and dropped it aside on the floor by the bed. The positioning wasn’t incredibly comfortable he had to admit, it was too low for him to perch as he wanted to without his legs needing to be stretched out at a rather awkward angle. He made do, and undid his boots as well leaving them paired neatly beside his jacket wiggling his toes in his socks a little to get a little warmth back into them.

If she didn’t want to answer his questions he would understand, but it wouldn’t change the fact that he wanted to help her. Wanted to be here. With her. So as she debated over telling him or what to tell him he merely waited, hand pressed into the mattress where he perched at her side watching and waiting. Fane also made a note to make up a batch of potions to restock her supply, better to make sure she had everything she needed than be without them when she needed them which it seemed to him was now.

When she spoke of what had happened though, his eyes drifted down to her hip which was covered beneath the trousers of her pyjamas and long sweater she was wrapped up in. Though as she described the accident he couldn’t help but wince, “bloody hell,” it sounded like way more than just an accident… Injuries like those didn’t just happen by accident and he couldn’t help his curiosity but judging by the difficulty she’d gone to to try and keep this from him Fane figured it was better not to ask. Not now at least.

His eyes lingered on her hip, wondering whether anything he’d learned over the years might help her. “You’re not an idiot… You can’t help things like that,” Fane admonished softly but with some details to work with now he scratched his scruff thinking for a moment. “Heat would help right?” he asked after a moment shifting his body a little to look at her and check whether this would be the case. “I know a few things… Might help but I can’t say it’ll be entirely comfortable while I work…” but he was willing to try and help her if she wanted him to.

The whole truth was a bit more complicated that just an accident at work. Though she didn’t want to burden him with that right now. Maybe later, if it became relevant. She was just now starting to come to terms with the fact that it hadn’t been her fault, that someone else had been to blame. She had just been doing her job. And had taken the fallout for someone else because of it.

“Well… ain’t exactly the smartest thing I’ve ever done,” she said. “Stupid concrete…” She was sporting a good-sized bruise as well, nearly the width of her hand, from where she’d landed, which didn’t help matters. But there was nothing she could do about it. Not without potions.

She hummed and nodded. “Usually, yeah.” Her face grew curious, and a tad bit nervous, as he said he might be able to help. But she didn’t dare look hopeful, in case it didn’t work. Faye debated for a moment, knowing that he wouldn’t hurt her on purpose, and that he only wanted to help. Finally, she gave a tiny nod. “Alright… and don’t worry ‘bout hurtin’ me. Can’t hurt any worse than it already does…” She tried to smile at him, but it fell a little short, pulled back by pain and uncertainty. “What um… what d’you need me to do?”

For the time being what she’d told him was enough for him to work with, and that was exactly what he was going to work with. Still, he chuckled slightly as she mentioned it as not being the smartest thing she’d done “ooh-- I don’t know.. I can think of at least two or three things that could compete… Like that time you tried to copy my drink spell and ended up with chili shots?” he asked with a playful little smile.

But his attention was taken almost immediately by her acceptance of his offer giving a small nod, “I’ll try not to hurt you too much but… It’s not going to be nice either way just going to warn you with that…” Fane got up from where he was sat, getting up and crawling around onto the far side of the bed so that he was behind her the bed dipping under his weight. “I’ll um-- need you to… I’ll need to just get to your skin, all you need to do is lie down and try to relax if you can?”

She laughed a bit at the memory, and it settled her just a bit, though she still felt nervous and tense. “Never was any good at stuff like that. Though I haven’t forgotten about that duel I owe you…” Her eyebrow rose a bit, some of her usual humor creeping back in as the situation started to settle in. It didn’t alleviate things altogether, but it helped.

His warning was met with a more serious look. “I’ll be fine,” she told him. “Just… I’ll be fine.” She said it again, not really knowing what else she could say. And partly to convince herself that she was telling the truth. Because she wasn’t lying when she said that it hurt. For her to consider the hospital… it felt like a serrated vice digging it’s way through her bone, like glass in her veins, like a blood hex burning her from the inside out. She watched him as he moved, tilting her head just a bit to watch him over her shoulder as he settled behind her.

And then…

She visibly tensed, looking away. Her hands tightened on her pillow, and fear flared in her chest. He needed to touch her skin. She started to ask why? If there was another way. She started to tell him that she’d changed her mind and that she could manage if he’d just get her a bottle of whiskey from downstairs. Though she knew that would probably fall on deaf ears.

Faye snuck a glance at him again as he waited on her permission. She wanted to trust him so badly. But she’d never shown anyone. Not even Maya. Not even Roger, as Faye had never turned the lights on when they’d been together, and she’d used a charm to hide how they felt. Maya knew, of course, about Faye’s injuries - as did Roger, though for different reasons - but she had never asked to see them. They were horrendous, and Faye felt like a monster every time she looked in the mirror.

How could Fane not think the same thing?

“Yeah. Alright.” The words were said quietly and with little emotion. “It’s not pretty,” she added at the last moment.

The Faye closed her eyes and turned her face into her pillow in quiet acceptance. Because perhaps it was best. Best to let him pity her and find her repulsive now, than later on. It would be easier to bear.

Her laugh made him feel a little better despite everything that was going on, glad to see that despite her pain she still had some measure of her humour to draw upon. A part of him wondered if she used it as a defence mechanism, just as he did when things hit just that little bit too close to home. It was hard not to grin as she reminded him of their duel, “yes well-- I generally make a point not to duel people who can’t walk straight hm? Maybe when you’re on your feet” he suggested his lips curling into a slight smirk eyes glittering with a touch of mischief in them.

“Alright,” he just felt like he needed to warn her of the fact that the other part of what he had in mind wouldn’t be entirely comfortable. The first part shouldn’t be too bad, it was just a few heating spells that would sink into the muscle and tissue; actively heating them to make them just a little more mobile and malleable. Fane settled on his haunches behind her, his knees just brushing her back where he knelt relatively close to her.

She tensed when he mentioned the fact that he needed to touch her skin, and he looked at her a little hesitantly about to say that he didn’t need to do this if she didn’t want him to. All he wanted to do was help with her pain, and this was one of a couple of ways he could think of doing that. His hands for the time being while she seemed to debate and war with herself over letting him help her or not rested in his lap, patient as every and never pressuring her to do anything she wasn’t ready or didn’t feel comfortable doing.

But a part of him knew that despite everything, there was still a small thread of trust that existed between them.

So, hearing her finally agree but with a caveated warning he raised his hands but paused gently setting them on her thigh and her waist feather-light. “You can trust me, I just want to help” his words were spoken softly, whether she would was up for debate but he just felt like she needed to hear him say it. He saw how she turned her face away and he had to wonder just how bad it was that she would react like this… After a little while with his hands on her Fane gently hooked his fingers into the elastic of the pyjama pants slowly easing them over the curve of her hip leaving her simply in her underwear while revealing the mottled blue and grey bruising, the puckered and heavily burned scar beneath. His eyes lingered on the little divots and patches of thick skin taking them in with a sad look, but he didn’t pity her if that was what she was expecting him to do. Nor, did he find her repulsive it was a shock suffice to say but any reaction he might’ve had he tamped down on it.

Easing her sweater up a little higher so it didn’t ride low over her hip Fane paused, “I’m just going to put my hands on you alright?” he didn’t want to surprise or startle her with it explaining why he said it, whether he’d get a response or not was debatable but he felt inclined to warn her either way. Cupping his hands he drew on his power, murmuring in an ancient foreign dialect an orb of pastel orange energy building between his palms where they hovered over her hip. Fane lowered his hands tentatively then, one just below her joint the other just above on her hip feeling the rough press of her skin under his palms but he focussed on the fact she felt warm. Perhaps a little clammy from her pain, but warm nonetheless as the orb sank through the upper layers of skin, the muscle tissue and down through to the centre of the joint. His eyes closed as he guided it, forehead creased in concentration but he managed to speak “feel okay?”

“Maybe,” Faye smiled. “I’ll go easy on you.” It would be fun, she thought, to see who could best the other. All in good fun, of course.

They settled in then, Fane starting his work and Faye nodding in a small motion when he said she could trust him. She truly felt that she could, even if it was tentative and still in progress. He’d done nothing to betray that feeling, and Faye had done her best to be open with him as much as she could right now. But this was different. This wasn’t sharing how they felt, or what they’d been doing over the last fifteen years. This wasn’t asking questions about each other or even assuming certain things. This was delving head first into one of the most vulnerable and painful - both literally and figuratively - parts of Faye’s life. It wasn’t talking, or speculating. It was right there, in brutal reality, showing him that she was indeed vulnerable. That she was weak. That she’d made her own mistakes in life. And paid for them.

She felt the pause as he pulled her bottoms down, but still couldn’t help the goosebumps that rose over her skin or the way a small shiver ran through her as his fingers brushed over the sensitive skin. It’d been so long since anyone had touched her… and even longer since it was soft or gentle. Grateful for the warning, Faye nodded again, still keeping her eyes closed and her face turned away. She didn’t see the spell, but she felt the hum of magic.

Then his hands were laying gently against her side. Faye tensed a bit, even with his warning, and then tried to settle. A huff of air left her, followed by an abrupt sound that was one part relief, one part surprise as the magic started to warm the joint. Not just on the surface, but deep down in the bone and tissue. She shifted a bit, frowning at the unfamiliar sensation, but managed a tiny, “‘M fine…” as he posed his question.

Fane knew this was a different sort of trust he was asking her for, this wasn’t just trusting him with talking about how they felt or anything else of the sort. This was a very personal and rather intimate thing, that if he’d known she hadn’t shared with everyone else… Well, Fane wasn’t sure if he would feel privileged or just glad that she was willing to let him help her despite everything. There was nothing wrong with being vulnerable, at least within reason though they had both developed guards to try and protect themselves from it -- to stop the pain, to stop the hurt.

He heard the noise that left her, not quite a sigh but it was enough to know that the spell he was casting seemed to at least be doing the job he intended; radiating heat down through the layers of tissue almost to the centre of the joint capsule easing the tight structures around the head of the femur where it inserted to the hip socket. His fingers applied a slight pressure into her skin as he controlled the spell as it moved down and then back up in slow oscillations particularly in the areas that he sensed from the spell needed specific focus.

Her quiet answer earned a nod as he went back to focussing on his work, occasionally pausing to slide his hands closer to or away from the joint line the spell tracking wherever his hands pressed listening and trying to read her body language as well to figure out where she needed the spell most.

Faye had always been told that she had been lucky. Lucky that her hip socket hadn’t been crushed. Lucky that she’d been taken to surgery quickly. Lucky that it had been her leg and not her skull. They all used that word: lucky.

Faye wasn’t sure they knew what it meant. Though she supposed it was better than being dead. Though up until a few minutes ago she wasn’t so sure. At least death would be painless. Just a peaceful bliss of nothing. No more pain, or fear, or anxiety. Just… emptiness.

But as Fane’s spell continued to radiate warmth into parts of her that had never ceased to ache, not unless she numbed herself to the gills with medication or alcohol, Faye started to wonder whether living without pain was possible. Most of her pain was located in the top of her leg, in the head of the femur, and in the rounded arch of her hip where it had been fractured both top and bottom. All in all a terrible injury, and had she been subjected to Muggle medicine, she could very well have ended up with pins in her bone, or losing the leg altogether to infection. Because the fracture had been bad enough, but the burns on top of it had only been an insult to an already serious injury. The skin pulled tight over her hip, which only made the stiffness worse. Pain radiated down her leg and up her back, and she often favored that leg when it ached, so her other side had to bear more weight to compensate.

It was a recipe for living in a state of aches and pains that never really left.

Though as Fane worked, it started to ease. Nearer to her iliac crest was where the pain was located now, deep down in the tissue of the ligaments and muscles holding the bone in her hip socket. Little mewls of both discomfort and relief left her as his hands moved along her leg and side. She moved a bit more now, shifting her and there as the sensation changed. Occasionally she stiffened slightly, but she relaxed soon after as the pain ebbed. “‘S better…” she said, eyes still closed, though they weren’t pressed so tightly shut now.

He licked his lips a little his brows furrowing more deeply as he spelled around the hip socket itself, the ligaments here thick and stiff taking more energy and focus to hold the spell steady long enough to do them some benefit. She was shifting a little, and occasionally he had to press a little more firmly to keep her steady so that she wouldn’t disrupt the connection he’d established through the spots where his fingers pressed small divots into her skin.

Even now Fane could tell that this had been a horrendous injury, and in the back of his mind he wondered who had done this to her because this was no damage that could’ve been done on ‘accident’ as she claimed. The thought in and of itself making him frown while also stoking a low anger in him, whoever had done this had better have suffered, paid and served for making her suffer this way.

And if they hadn’t?

Well, Fane had certain ways and contacts to finding people that the Ministry were better off being ignorant of. He didn’t need to give them more reason for the questioning looks he received whenever he hung around Auror HQ with all the full-of-themselves employees. Not all of them, but a fair few at least. Especially that fucking Roger. The amount of times Fane had to stop himself from hexing the man… But it didn’t bear thinking about right now.

“Good,” as he finally retracted the spell he removed his hands from her thigh just long enough to shake them out slightly “alright… This one is just going to feel… odd hm? But just try and breath through it, tell me if it hurts too much though and I’ll stop.” His head tilted slightly, fingers flexing before he uttered a low chant the words spoken under his breath and had she been looking at him and not facing in the opposite direction she would’ve seen a low reddish sheen take hold of his irises under his eyes that gradually grew almost glazed. Spirals of crimson magic curled over her leg, her hip and his fingers binding spirals while he traced runes into her skin as the magic permitted him to tap into the beat of her heart, the steady metronome resonating through his fingertips, up his arms and through the rest of him and Fane felt how his own began to match the beat he was tapping into. When the link was established the served to create the base rhythm to his casting.

But where most would focus on this particular manipulation for ill, Fane followed the rush of her arteries down to the femoral and its respective branches noting how the blood flow seemed rather stunted to the site of injury. Slowly he focussed on dilating the tissues which thanks to his prior spellwork were a little more malleable now, and with that permitting tissues that had long been absent gain a little oxygenation. He focussed in particular on the musculature over the joint, after all if these functioned more operationally it would help drain any lymph build up in the area and restore some of the natural joint motions necessary to alleviate her pain.

Faye opened her eyes, blinking a bit as she thought he might be finished. She moved her leg just a bit, a tentative flexing of her toes, and found that while it still hurt, it felt better. But he wasn’t finished, and as he once again warned her that it was going to feel strange, she nodded, and resumed her previous position.

Her eyes closed again, as it was easier to focus on what he was doing and to stay still. Her heart hammered a bit faster than normal, from both the pain and her nerves, but she did her best to control her breathing and listen to the low hum of Fane’s voice. She didn’t know what he was saying, but whatever it was, something started to happen. It began as a flutter in her chest, like heart palpitations, and she pressed a hand to her chest as he pressed his fingers against her skin. It didn’t hurt, but it felt fairly uncomfortable. Her heart kept fluttering, faster and then slower, as if it couldn’t make up it’s mind how it wanted to beat, and Faye’s breath stuttered out of her as her chest started to feel tight.

But then it stopped, and something rushed through her, something foreign and familiar all at once. Her heartbeat stabilized, and there was such a forceful rush through her veins as something… connected… with her magic and her blood… that she couldn’t help but cry out. It was like a flash of fire, done and gone in less time than it took for her body to recognize it. But then it evened out into a strong, steady beat, like molten honey, and Faye moaned audibly, shifting more than she had before as the sensation settled in. It flushed her skin, and tiny beads of sweat dotted the edges of her hairline,but Faye lay as still as she could.

Though something shifted inside her then, deep down in the bone and the tissue of her leg. She stiffened, because it hurt, like someone forcing fluid too fast through a fragile vein, and it continued, the pressure building so much with each beat of her heart that she nearly reached for his hand to make him stop. But she didn’t. Instead, she turned her face into her pillow again, letting it muffle her sounds of discomfort. Because as much as magic could heal, it wasn’t without a price. And Fane had warned her. The throb built to a head, tissue long deprived being flooded with the things it needed to be healthy, to heal, to let her go without pain, at least for awhile.

Her entire leg felt like it was on fire as the blood rushed through it, pushed along by whatever magic he was working and by the beat of her heart, which felt like it had doubled in size and was pumping hard enough for two people. She focused on the touch of his hands, on the way his fingers moved over her scarred skin, on the low rumble of his words, and that kept her from crying out again. Kept her from telling him to stop.

Fane knew what she was experiencing, he’d been through it himself but he didn’t want to scare her by telling her exactly what would be happening. Plus it would raise more questions than it would solve or so he thought. He’d been through it, in order to learn he’d first needed to understand the process in its entirety and to say it was mildly terrifying to feel as though someone was practically joining your very being and soul. This was one of those morally grey areas of magic he dabbled in, one he argued that if used for the right purposes had absolutely no cause for being illegal by the state.

Still, the feeling of his heart settling into a rhythm that was just a little faster than what he was used to resulted in a moment for him to simply stabilise feeling the wash of not only his own magic but something cooler that with time he would recognise as Faye’s own inherent magic. Because every witch or wizard had their own reserve from which they drew, but for practically all that was an independent and personal store that could only be accessed by another through means that most viewed questionably such as those he was implementing in that very moment.

The work was intricate, too much blood all at once would simply cause the venules and arterioles amongst other blood vessels that had up until now been dormant or starved from the true levels of what they needed to burst which was the last thing he wanted. It was a careful balance, an ebb and flow with every beat of her heart to match his movements and the manipulation to push blood a little further each time before then feeding it back so that it could be filtered and any pain signals could be flushed out of the tissues. It involved a little draw on Faye’s magical reserve as well, just enough to stop it from growing defensive and pushing him out.

Whenever he felt her noticeably tense Fane brushed her skin with his hands hoping to sooth her with his touch considering his words currently served to conduit their connection. He could feel how warm she had become under his touch, even more so than earlier, and when his eyes opened he noted the flush that coloured the entire area he was working on. He just hoped that it would work.

Occasionally, the spells were interspersed with the magic he’d conducted earlier; permitting her a slight reprieve from the later work he’d been doing. Just long enough to help settle her before he got back to work, determined to do whatever he could to help her until which was precisely what he did. That is until he could feel the fatigue starting to creep up on him, a familiar feeling when his own magical reserves were starting to run on fumes and he could feel the ache across his entire body as he continued trying to draw. To give her as much as he could before he would be forced to stop for fear of exhausting himself entirely.

As much as it hurt, as much as it felt like her leg would surely burst into flames or that her veins would be ripped to shreds, the magic felt… right. She could feel her own magic flare in response, ready to push out the foreigner like white blood cells attacking something that shouldn’t be there. But then it soothed, and if Faye could have put words to it, had she been capable at the moment, it was almost as if it said ‘oh, it’s you,’ and then moved out of the way.

She wasn’t sure how long it took, but just when she thought it was too much Fane would ease off, the slow brush of his hands over her skin like a balm she didn’t know she needed. And it eased her, the flush of her skin making every brush of fingers and every pressure point doubly sensitive. Not all of her shifting was from pain now. The contact with his hands was like a drug, the pain in her veins mixing with the firm press of his palms for a heady mix of sensation that didn’t quite make it to pleasurable, but that wasn’t completely unwelcome either. Though these thoughts came in waves, along with the streaking fire that pulsed through her.

His reprieve was met with a groan of release. She was holding her breath through the worst of it, letting out little huffs here and there. And when it eased, it all rushed out. She wondered if this was how Maya had felt when she’d given birth. The waves of intense pain interspersed with small moments of weary reprieve.

Would the end result be as satisfying? Would her pain be gone, and she was left with something that had been worth every second? Faye could only hold on and wait, trusting Fane to know when enough was enough.

Despite the years, Fane still knew how to read someone and Faye he knew how to read better than almost anyone. They had changed, but certain things remained the same and the ebb and flow of tension through her body as she lay for him to work was a rather good indicator of when he could push her a little further versus when he should back off and let her be. To give her a chance to recover with the simpler heating spells to loosen up any tissues that might’ve spasmed slightly and help ease her back to a point he could resume working. Occasionally she moved a little too much, and it required a little more pressure to keep her still but he was never forceful enough to pin her down entirely.

Until he finally reached a point that he physically couldn’t continue having broken out in a slight sweat himself, hands trembling where they rested on her body while his words gradually died. His chin had dropped slightly, eyes pressed shut tight as he tried to regulate his breathing that had become a little shallow in the process of trying to heal and work on her. He could feel the heavy pound of his heart as it began to regulate like someone had put their foot down on the accelerator and suddenly pressed the brake. The tingle of her latent magic lingering just at the edge of his peripheral senses before it too began to ebb as the connection began to fade until he could no longer sense her as he could a few moments prior.

He felt heavy, like he could collapse right there and then and sleep for a thousand years or longer and once he finally felt able to his eyes opened, less crimson and more their natural shade as he looked at her “are you alright?” The question was asked in a small voice, needing to know she was okay after what he’d just done, needing to check she was okay regardless of how washed out he felt and likely looked after the sheer magical toll it had taken on him causing small tremors which made his fingers tremble having forgotten to take them off the places he’d been casting the spells from on her body in his fatigue.

When it was done, Faye opened her eyes, both because her heart fluttered again in her chest as it tried to right it’s rhythm as Fane’s magic pulled back. It was like someone had reached inside her and squeezed it, holding it in place and then letting go. And it was fighting to catch up. Her brow was dotted with sweat, her skin flush and slightly damp beneath her sweater and beneath his hands. She felt hot, but… the pain was… not gone, but reduced to nothing more than a dull throb in her hip.

His hands trembled, and once she had come to her senses enough to take in anything more than her own state, she turned to look at him over her shoulder just as he spoke. “I’m… yeah. Yeah, I’m okay… I’m-” But her words, soft and weary themselves, flowed to a stop as she was able to take him in finally. “My God… Fane…” she breathed, seeing the state he was in and growing concerned. She laid her hand over his still on her hip, trying to stop the trembling that was now readily apparent.

Slowly, and with great care, she sat up, a light wave of throbbing moving down her leg, but not the searing pain from before. What had he done? And where had he learned it? Taking his hands, she held them gently in her own. “Lie down for a minute before you fall over…” She gave him a look that asked him to please do as she asked, just for a bit. She didn’t trust herself to walk just yet, but he didn’t look like he would fare much better either.

This sort of magic came with a significant risk, too much could result in a burn-out and that could lead to several potential consequences and side-effects. None of which were things he wanted to think about right now. His brain felt a little addled, but one thing was clear and prominent and that was making sure she was okay. This sort of magic could go horribly wrong for those not well versed in it and he was thankful for the amount of practise he’d gotten (again, not a story to dwell on today).

Her assurance served to ease a little of the tension in his body, and he felt himself sink with the assurance that she was alright. She was okay. He hadn’t hurt her, and he could only hope he’d done a little to help as well. When she breathed his name his head lifted, managing a faint smile “s’alright,” he murmured hoping to settle her not wanting her to panic “it’s powerful stuff” which meant it had a bit of a kickback effect when it was used. His eyes dropped to the warmth of her hand enveloping his own where they rested on her, and under her touch and with a little focus the trembling began to subside.

Fane wasn’t about to argue, even if a part of him wanted to, the part that felt a little awkward and unsure of what this was. Was it anything? Or how her hand on his sent a warmth that he could’ve sworn jammed his heart in his throat and left him feeling short of breath. She lifted his hands then, asking him to lie down and his eyes drifted between her and the mattress a touch of uncertainty present in his eyes “you sure?” Though a part of him knew getting up would be way more hassle than it was worth so after a momentary pause he shifted stretching out on the mattress and closing his eyes and rubbing his hands over his face before they dropped heavily onto the bed but his eyes cracked open after a moment. “You need it too… I just-- need a little rest.. Should be fine in a bit...”

“I imagine it is,” she said gently, the look on her face telling him that her pain had eased exponentially. She had never been good at hiding things from him, other than the things he just downright refused - or didn’t want - to see. Faye knew as well as the next witch that the more powerful the spell the more it drained one’s magic. And Fane looked like he’d been through the ringer. Though just like she couldn’t find the words to express how much he had helped her, she didn’t think ‘powerful stuff’ quite cut it. But both those conversation were for another time.

Slowly, his shaking stopped, and Faye gave him a small smile and another squeeze. “‘Course I’m sure.” To her relief, he settled back, his hand slipping from hers as he made himself comfortable. She stayed where she was, gazing at him for a moment before he cracked an eye in her direction. Feeling only a bit unsure - they were just resting, after all, what harm was there in that? - Faye had the temerity to look chastised. Again. Though if she were honest, now that the pain was mostly gone, she was absolutely exhausted. She yawned nearly on cue, and settled on her side again, facing away from him, if only to not risk agitating the joint so soon after he’d worked on it. Her eyes were closing the moment her head hit the pillow. “Take as much… time as you need…” she yawned, shifting a bit, not caring one bit that she was only in her sweater and underwear now. Her pants had been lost somewhere in all her moving as he’d worked.

“Thank you, Fane…” she murmured before slipping into sleep, breathing softly, not even taking the time to pull up the covers.

--------------------

Sometime later, Faye rolled over, still mostly asleep, and finding a rare spot of warmth, curled herself tightly into it. Her breathing evened out once more, and she slipped back into a deep, and for once peaceful, sleep.

She didn’t need to find the words to explain, seeing the look on her face; a mixture of surprise but more importantly relief was enough for him to know. He understood her without her needing to say a word. He always had been good at knowing her in that way.

“M’okay” he mumbled but couldn’t stop himself from sinking into the mattress his body stretching out feeling relieved to be doing so. Though he knew he wasn’t the only one that needed rest right now explaining why he prompted her to do so, her yawn only furthering the fact he thought she needed sleep. He felt the bed shift, and out of the corner of his eye he watched her settle feeling a little sad he couldn’t see her face but understanding why she lay in the other direction.

His eyes felt heavy, but a part of him vaguely recognised the fact that the room would probably get cold and as she was drifting off he reached down to grab the covers, pulling them up and tucking them over her snugly. Only then did he settle back down to sleep and within moments he was out like a light.

-------------

Fane woke up a fair while later, his head throbbed as though he’d had far too much to drink and for a few moments he lay there trying to remember what the hell he must’ve done this time considering how badly his head ached. A shift of the mattress to his side caused him to pause, mildly alarmed. No one usually stayed the night… Normally his one night stands left almost as soon as the fun was done so to speak… After a few moments of long debate he opened one eye, noticing first of all this was not his bedroom, second of all he was still fully dressed and thirdly-- Faye?

It all came rushing back in a moment and he groaned slightly into one of the pillows so as not to wake her, the wave of thoughts and feelings that assaulted him making his head and his heart hurt more not wanting to think or deal with any of that right now. A while after laying there, face buried in the pillow he finally, finally moved and it was only then he noticed how cold the room had become. Rolling over he eyed the fire and remembering how much of his own magic he’d used he probably couldn’t sustain the heating charms he’d used. He still felt drained, which left only one real option for warmth.

Explaining why a short time later Fane still half asleep had wrapped up, put his boots on and wandered back outside in the direction of the forest trudging through the snow with an axe he’d found outside the property. Finding the log pile wasn’t too hard, and after some hefty chops splitting wood down the middle until he had enough that would serve to keep everything topped up he picked up the logpile (neatly stacked by now) and carried it back up to Faye’s room where as quietly as he could he remade the fire stoking the hearth to ensure the room was toasty for Faye.

Faye was already asleep by the time Fane tucked her in, breathing slowly and deeply, though she did make a small sleepy sound of relief at the warmth. She slept soundly, rolling over a bit later and snuggling into the patch of warmth that had settled into her sheets. She didn’t wake really. Instead, she pressed her face to the source of the heat, breathing it in because the smell soothed her even in sleep.

Eventually, it moved away, and Faye reached for it in her sleep, hand stretching out over the empty spot, before she finally settled back, a tiny furrow in her brow. A bit later, the warmth had seeped away, and a rustling sound tugged her awake. But not fully. She was half asleep still, in that place where one isn’t sure if they’re dreaming or not. And Faye had slept so soundly, and so deeply, that her mind wasn’t able to process whether this was reality or not.

Someone was crouched in front of the fireplace, a familiar silhouette against the tiny flicker of flame rising in the hearth. How many times had she had this dream? How many times had she called out to him, just wanting him to turn around so she could see his face? More than she could remember.

So she did as she always did in her dream. “Come back to bed…” she mumbled sleepily to the image of Fane in her dream, eyes blinking heavily as fatigue pulled at her. She only needed to see his face and she would be content. But the dream always ended before she could. Before he turned. Faye was always hopeful that this time would different, but it never was. Against her will, her eyes slipped closed again, her hand stretched out towards him.

He stayed crouched by the hearth, making sure it was stacked up in a neat pile before casting the spell that was set it alight watching the small flame take life and shape. For a few moments he stayed there, the wash of tiredness coming and going as he crouched there. He’d slept well, better than he had in a long time in fact here in Faye’s bed, the warmth of her body nearby and the smell of her in the sheets soothing him into a deep slumber. But he was sensitive to the cold explaining his sleepy trip outside and back again to make sure the room was stocked up while he felt too tired to cast any more spells.

Fane didn’t hear Faye stir behind him, lost in various thoughts that surfaced as he gazed at the flames it was only when he heard her voice that his head tilted slightly back in the direction of the bed to see Faye looking at him from under sleep-heavy eyes. Asking him to come back, back to her and Fane smiled faintly at the sight of her.

Setting his hands on his thighs Fane pushed himself up, slowly and toeing off his boots, jacket and jumper once more until he was left just in jeans and a plain tee which he discarded on a sitting chair by the fire. “M’here,” he murmured as he shifted back to crawl onto the bed taking her hand and lifting it slightly settling down under the warmth of the covers beside her. He felt cold, at least he did from his little expedition outside and nosed down towards the warmth of her that was so close a quiet hum of contentment leaving him at the warmth which he let sink in and relax him slowly.

This dream was different, Faye thought as she watched him turn and rise from in front of the fire, voice as sleepy as her own. Maybe it was because of what had gone on previously in the day. From Fane showing up at her door and then the events that followed. Last thing she remembered was asking him to lie down. Maybe that was it. Who knew. It was a nice dream, regardless.

Especially as he came back towards her, pulling off his sweater and settling beneath the warmth of the covers next to her. Reality could never be so simple as this. Or so pleasant. So she would take it, dream that it was. His hand was cold in hers, and she murmured something about it before he moved down next to her. Mostly asleep, Faye scooted close, tucking her nose into his side. “You’re freezin’...” she murmured again, brow furrowing in concern as she pulled the covers up higher around them, oblivious to the truth of it all.

He hesitated only momentarily before he let her wrap her arm around him, too tired to think or consider the possible what ifs that might’ve come otherwise. All he knew was that he felt more comfortable and less restless here with her than he had in a very, very long time. And the last thing he wanted to do was leave her side or the warmth of the bed.

Vaguely he heard her mumble something about him being cold, and a low rumble of a laugh echoed in his chest “‘scold outside” he mumbled by way of explanation feeling how she pressed up closer and simply thinking how nice it felt to have someone so close. Here there were no thoughts of whether or not he deserved this, all that was present was warmth and affection as she tucked her face into his side and the covers up around her. He could only shift slightly trying to find a comfortable positioning, eventually moving to slide a hand under her waist and around her to pull her in closer wanting as much warmth as he could get from her. “You’re warm,” he nuzzled his nose lightly against her feeling himself starting to drift off once more lost in memories and thoughts he’d believed long since lost.

Not realizing she was actually awake, and that this wasn’t just a wonderful dream that would have no consequences in the morning other than the empty feeling she was always left with, Faye just naturally folded herself into the lines of Fane’s body. As if the space was meant just for her. His skin was cold, and as her arm wrapped around him, finding it’s own way under the hem of his tshirt, her fingers drew lazy patterns there, drifting sleepily.

His laughter echoed warm and soft beneath her ear, and her only response was to hum quietly, the warmth of their bodies rising beneath the covers already starting to lull her back to full sleep. She had nearly drifted off already, making little sounds of contentment as he pulled her close and murmured something she barely heard. Her own nose nuzzled against him, breathing in the smell of him that calmed and settled her. Her thoughts drifted, wishing this could be real. Wishing, in her sleep-addled mind, to not wake up cold and alone again.

But Faye drifted off finally, her breathing evening out as the fire crackled gently in the background.

Already in the process of drifting off himself, Fane easily accommodated to Faye as she folded herself into the space at his side ignorant to just how easily she fitted into the space. Almost as though they pair of them were shaped to simply fit together. All Fane knew was that he was cold and the warmth of her pressing close was too much to even consider turning away or denying. Though he admittedly wasn’t expecting the burning path of her fingers tracking over his skin and after a momentary tensing he relaxed finding himself soothed by the soft trails being branded into his cold skin.

The warmth finally began to sink into him, and tucked up snugly next to Faye it wasn’t long before he too drifted off; breathing evening out and chest rising and falling slowly with every deep breath he took. Dreams turning to a future where perhaps this was a possibility, waking up to the sight of Faye there in the morning and not having to worry about anyone ever hurting again.

Time gradually passed, hours of dozing in the warmth of one another’s arms despite the odd hour at which they had fallen asleep but this being perhaps the best sleep he’d had in-- Well, Fane couldn’t specifically say how long. For once, there were no nightmares secure in the knowledge (even in sleep) that he was safe here beside her and that for the time being he needn’t worry about a thing. He shifted slightly in his sleep arm tightening around her, mumbling something incoherent as he continued to sleep.

Faye was of equal mind - in her sleep-dulled state - that there was no way she was turning away from the warmth and the security next to her. She didn’t feel his tension, but she did feel the way his body relaxed and folded deeper against her in that release. Her fingers played lazily until she drifted off, and then they curled around his waist, wrapping him in her arms as he drifted into sleep as well.

Her dreams were different that night. Most times they were of things unrequited. Things remembered. Things hoped for but that Faye knew would never come to pass. Like the pleasant dream of him in her arms. But this dream… this dream wasn’t dark and dreary, nor did it leave her feeling frightened and lost. This dream was… it was everything. Or… the start of it. Dancing to old records in Fane’s flat… kissing him under a canopy of fairy lights… making love for the first time… Faye made little sounds in her sleep, little exhales of breath, her fingers opening and closing against his back.

Eventually it faded out, but it left Faye feeling fulfilled. More than she ever had.

The night wore on, fire died down, and the room cooled just a bit in the early hours of the next morning. Though beneath the covers, they stayed warm as ever. So when Faye woke the next morning, just as the sun was lightening her room, she was loathe to move. At first she wasn’t sure what was going on, and it took her mind and body a few long moments - stretching a little and curling towards the warmth next to her - to come back to reality.

And when it did, Faye sucked in a breath.

FUCK. What in the-?

For a solid fifteen seconds, Faye was utterly confused. Was she still asleep? Was this still her dream? What had-?

But then she remembered. Dinner with Fane. Falling on the ice. Having to cancel. Him coming over to check on her.

Her being stubborn and hurting herself more.

Fane using magic on her hip. Which wasn’t hurting. At least not like it usually did. But even that was a side thought. Because Fane’s arms were around her. They were around her and he was holding her close and it felt so good and warm and he smelled divine...

“Oh, God…” she said to herself, realizing she had been curled around him like a limpet. Though when she turned her head up, and saw how peaceful he was, Faye couldn’t help but just watch him for a moment. His features were relaxed in sleep, hair ruffled into wild curls, his chest rising slowly and evenly as he breathed. She had a feeling he hadn’t slept like this in ages. So she was loathe to wake him. He looked so peaceful, and Faye felt her chest tighten as she looked at him, the heavy but comfortable weight of his arms around her, holding her so close. Christ, she loved him so much.

Reaching up, she brushed a dark strand of hair off his forehead with one finger. What would it be like, to wake up like this every morning? Either here, or at his? Curled up together, sleeping without nightmares or night terrors. Without waking up and being afraid someone or something was coming up the stairs after you. Perhaps she would find out. He was here, after all. He had come to check on her. That had to mean something.

Maybe it did.

But right now, Faye needed to get up. If only because she knew if Fane woke up now it would be awkward. For the both of them. And that’s the last thing she wanted. She’d let him wake up on his own as he would, sleep as long as he liked. And Faye would make breakfast. So after laying there for a bit longer, just watching him and enjoying the feeling of warmth and safety, as easily as she could she slipped out of his arms, managing to get on her feet with minimal discomfort, and made sure the covers were tucked up around him. She stoked the fire with wood that he must’ve brought in last night if memory served, and limped down stairs after finding her pajama bottoms near the foot of the bed.

Faye tried not to think about sleeping half naked in his arms all night as she got around to making breakfast. Biscuits and bacon and little smoked sausages cooking in and on the stove while Faye turned on the kettle for coffee. If Fane didn’t wake before it was done, she’d make him a plate and take it to him. It’s the least she could do for him after what he’d done for her.

The two things Fane noticed as he woke was the lack of warmth that he vaguely recalled from his sleep, and the soft muted chirping of birds nearby.

Fane rolled over, pressing his face into the soft sheets that smelled faintly of lavender and something familiar, something that settled his troubles with a small groan of protest. “Shu’up Cato,” he muttered into the pillow, his head ached like he’d had one far too many drinks. His bones sunk back into the mattress knowing that he was awake now and there would be no point in staying here, he had the shop to open. Light filtered in through the curtains, pouring in from the gap between them and he felt himself waking with ever vile creak that echoed up and down his spine. It took a while for his brain to begin to register that something was off.

Something was different.

Slowly his head fell to one side, eyes cracking open as he took in the surroundings of his room except-- it wasn’t his room. A spike of confusion shot through him, and he sat up too fast, wincing at the dull ache in his temple that always came when he knew he’d overexerted his power pressing his hands to his eyes as he tried to piece together what had happened to get him here. Had he gone home with someone after a night out? It wasn’t unheard of, but-- Fane peered down noting the fact he was far too clothed for that particular outcome and then it struck him. The familiarity of this place, and he flopped back staring at the ceiling, rubbing his hands through his hair. “Jesus--”

But the larger question was-- where was Faye?

More awake now he glanced around finding no particular trace of her, and his brow furrowed in confusion. Had she gone to work? Just left him here to do, what? It was at that moment he caught the scent of something cooking and his stomach audibly rumbled reminding him of the fact he’d brought food for them to share last night which they never got around to doing. Raising his wrist Fane took note of the time, not too late thankfully, and with a sigh he climbed out of bed. Taking a little while to freshen up at least in the bathroom he grabbed his jumper, padding quietly to the staircase his footsteps muted by the softs on his feet until he arrived at the kitchen.

Leaning in the doorframe his head tilted to press against the doorframe, watching her cook with a quiet sense of fascination not wanting to interrupt. His eyes drifted to the flowers that still sat on the counter where he’d admittedly rather abandoned them in his rush to get Faye to stop being so damn stubborn and let him help. Which he had. His eyes drifted back to her then, to the hip and the injury hidden beneath the fabric of her pyjamas wondering just how it had happened as he had the night before. Eventually feeling as though he should announce his presence, he cleared his throat slightly “smells good in here...”

Faye wondered, as she hobbled gingerly around her kitchen, if maybe she should have stayed in bed until Fane woke up. If she were being honest, she had wanted to. To see him shuffle into wakefulness. To see him open his eyes and smile when he saw her. But as much as she had wanted it, she wouldn’t risk making it awkward for him. Or herself.

So breakfast it was.

She wasn’t sure what he liked, so like he’d done for her with his soup - which she’d stuck in the fridge in hopes it hadn’t ruined - she started making the things she knew he’d liked in school. Faye smiled, remembering how he’d had the appetite of a horse fifth year, after he’d shot up nearly a foot over the summer. Working slowly, her leg sore but feeling so much better than it had last night, Faye padded barefoot around the kitchen, using bits of wandless magic here and there to do things she wasn’t willing to do just yet, like bend over too far or reach for things on a high shelf.

She even started to sing softly while she cooked, which she never did anymore. Perhaps it was because she felt rested. And not like she’d been drug over the coals repeatedly. Or perhaps it was something else. Faye didn’t think too deeply on that.

So absorbed was she in her cooking, that she didn’t notice Fane come downstairs. Nor did she notice him stand in the doorway and watch her. It was only when he cleared his throat that she startled a bit. “Christ…” she said, turning towards him with her hand over her heart. “You scared me.” But she was laughing, a broad smile on her face. “I um… I figured I’d let you sleep. You uh… worked hard last night. ‘S nearly good as new.” Faye patted her hip with her hand. They shared a look for a moment, and then she cleared her own throat. “I um, wasn’t sure what you liked, so I just… made what you used to eat in school. I can make somethin’ else if you don’t like it…”

Realizing she was rambling, Faye turned back to the stove, cheeks flushing red. “There’s coffee if you like. Tea bags are in the cabinet if you prefer.”

Fane wasn’t sure how he would have reacted if Faye had been there, shock, for sure, but also an inkling of-- happiness? But there was no point getting carried away. He’d come over here to check on how Faye was doing, apparently better (or so he hoped) if her being up and about already was any indicator. Not that he thought she should be doing anything but resting though who was he kidding? This was Faye even now she barely ever stopped.

He wasn’t sure why he didn’t just announce his presence immediately, a part of him was curious he supposed. To see how she behaved in her day to day life when she wasn’t around anyone else, whether she reverted back to that cold exterior she seemed to generally present at work (which he’d gotten rather good at cracking) or to something else? She’d told him a while back she didn’t sing, but if what he could hear was any indicator apparently she still did either that or he was hearing things.

When it came to his appetite not much had really changed, he still hated overly spicy things and would still complain about what the point was of food that made your mouth feel like a dragon had gone ahead and breathed down your throat. Beyond that though, so long as it smelled and tasted good Fane was open to trying almost anything just as he had in that fifth year when once again he’d shot up above plenty of his other housemates and many of his clothes failed to fit (again). Food, as it happened was as big a vice for him now as it was then and it was no real surprise he was drawn in the direction of the kitchen where he could smell the food cooking.

He offered an apologetic smile as she jumped feeling a little guilty for startling her as he had done. “Oh--- Sorry-- Um--” he trailed off a little uncertain about what he should say to the fact he scared her, one hand naturally moving to tug his ear but she was laughing and he figured it was a sign there was no major damage done. Though as she patted her hip his eyes drifted to where her hand rested before lifting back up to her “least I could do to help…” Something silent passed between them before his attention was promptly redirected by Faye to the food and his stomach rumbled earning a slightly embarrassed look. “No no… Don’t worry yourself I still eat practically anything t’be honest, I swear I eat and I’m still hungry afterwards it’s a wonder I still look the way I do” though Fane had to admit he was a little surprised she could remember what he ate for breakfast.

The offer of coffee steered him in that direction first though still feeling a bit sleepy, “mug?” he asked after a moment not feeling like he was in any position to just go rummaging around her cupboards looking for stuff.

“No… it’s… it’s fine,” she smiled, turning back to the stove. “And it was hardly a small thing you did… I haven’t felt like this in… a long time.” She meant the healing he’d done to her hip, but it could be construed as him staying overnight as well, if one squinted at it a bit. “I’m gonna ask you where you learned that at some point, but I’ll let it slide for today.” She looked at him once more, a side glance, nothing more, and then truly went back to cooking.

“If only we were all so lucky to be tall and skinny,” she joked, turning the heat down on the skillet as the bacon started to sizzle. Faye was not a heavy-set woman in any way, but she was curvy. Hips curved out from the gentle dip of her waist, and her belly was slightly rounded with a small layer of softness, but she was fit from her work, and her training. Now though, she was covered in her sweater and pj bottoms again. So one could only guess at what lie beneath. Though Fane had gotten an up front eyeful last night, not that Faye had truly cared at the time, she was hurting so badly.

“Cabinet next to the fridge,” she pointed with one hand as she checked the contents of the oven with the other. Her home was a bit unorganized, and slightly messy, but it was clean and bright and airy. It was just her and Scratch, after all. And Faye hardly saw the point in stressing over what the cabinets or her fridge looked like on the inside, as long as things were clean.

His eyes dropped a little shyly as she commented on how well she felt, “really… I just wanted to help,” if he was honest Fane didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. And if his expression when she mentioned about the magic he’d done was anything to go by he didn’t particularly wish to share just what he’d done or where it was he’d learned it. “Can’t we just leave it at-- it helped and therefore you’re just not going to ask about it and in return I’ll just… sort your hip out when it gets problematic?” It was worthy a try though a part of him knew already that it likely wasn’t going to fly no matter how well he tried to sell it.

“I’m not half so skinny as I used to be, thank you very much” he argued puffing his chest out a little and giving her a look. It was true, he’d grown more into his frame and years of various martial magic training amongst other schools of practise had only served to further tone and shape his physique even if there were parts that would never be quite as they were. “Though the being tall part is pretty great especially in crowds.”

While Faye was busy with the food he went over to the indicated cabinet grabbing a big mug from inside and then going to fill it up with the coffee that had been brewing, no milk of any sort was added simply straight black coffee from the source. “D’you want a mug?” he asked glancing over at her.

“I know you did,” she told him. “And… thank you. Again.” She did note the way his face turned reluctant, and as he asked if they could just leave it be, Faye decided that now wasn’t the time to go digging too deeply into things. Especially parts of his magic that she knew had to have a strange, and quite possibly dark, story behind them. So she hummed a small, thoughtful sound, and nodded. “Alright. I won’t ask about it. But… I would like to know one day. If you ever feel like telling me.” She was giving him an out, because honesty a person’s magic was a very intimate thing. It was an extension of themselves. And Fane obviously didn’t want to talk about it. So Faye wouldn’t press. But she was honest in that she was curious, because she was.

Though the subject was left at that, and she didn’t say another word about it.

“That you aren’t,” she agreed with a small glance towards him. He had filled out most definitely, and ‘skinny’ was just her way of picking on him. Because he used to be a scarecrow. Though adulthood had done him good. Very good if Faye were honest. She had never been attracted to overly muscled men. It was just too much. Fane’s lean frame, broad shoulders that angled down to more narrow hips, pulled the eye. And Faye did her best not to let her own drift. “I could stand a couple more inches. Though the boots help at work. So you do have an advantage over me.”

“Please,” she said of the mug, checking the food once more to let it finish up. Moving towards him, limping slightly, she took the mug he held out with a smile of thanks and made her own coffee, though it contained more sugar and creamer than actual coffee. “What? We all have our vices… this just happens to be one of mine…” she said of the overly sweetened drink.

She really didn’t need to keep thanking him, so he merely gave another minute nod and got about to the other things he needed to do such as making coffee and trying to wake himself up. His temple still throbbed a little and the sunlight made him wince slightly but it was manageable. So, when Faye made a sound before agreeing to what he requested he glanced aside at her seeming to weigh up her words when she said she wouldn’t ask but if the look that settled on his features was anything to go by it was that he’d consider it. Fane had never been the sort of person who would be rushed into telling things, they would happen in due course as they were meant to be. “Maybe,” and it was left at that.

He knew she was poking fun, after all he’d been a bag of bones practically the last time she’d ever seen him; barely able to stand and having lost much of his weight from the torment of the Death Eaters yet training himself mentally and physically to push through it. Yet somehow finding the sheer will and determination to fuel that final duel in which everyone had thought him dead. “You’re hardly short though.”

With the coffee made he watched her add the creamer and sugar, pulling a slightly disgusted grimace at the sight of it and automatically curling his fingers tighter around his own mug that was brought closer to him as though feeling the need to protect it from her atrocious additions. “Eugh, I don’t know how you can stand that.”

Faye gave one final, short nod at his ‘maybe,’ and that was that. It wasn’t something worth pushing about, despite her curiosity. And she wasn’t exactly in a position to do so anyway, their relationship being what it was. Which Faye wasn’t even sure what it was. More than simply friendship, she thought. But it was the ‘more’ than she wasn’t sure about. Though she wasn’t going to push that either. In all honesty, she wasn’t quite sure if she was ready, despite her true feelings, which she kept pressed down tight. She doubted Fane was either. It had only been a few months since he’d come back, after all, and while things had been going nicely, Faye was fairly certain that was due in part to neither of them rushing whatever it was between them, or pushing it past the limits it could currently withstand.

Though last night had been a bit of a step, all things considered. An accidental one - the irony of that thought not at all lost on Faye, whose accident has set it all in motion in the first place - but a step nonetheless. Faye didn’t let anyone see her scars. Not even Maya. Roger had never seen them either. Faye made sure of that. And though she’d been in enormous amounts of pain, if she didn’t trust Fane to some degree, she would have never let him help her. So. There was that.

But anyway.

She gave a small shrug. “Could always use a few inches doing my job. Not that it matters. It’s always amusing to see the shock on someone’s face when I knock them on their ass though. Must be by unassuming demeanor.” She smiled around the rim of her cup. “For someone with a sweet tooth like yours, I’d figure you’d like it. You should try it.” She held the cup towards him slightly. “It’s peppermint mocha.”

It would come in due time, or so he hoped it would. Just as Faye hadn’t told him the full extent of her ‘accident’ he wasn’t entirely sure of his footing to trust her enough to tell her where and what it was he’d learned over the years. There were all sorts of skills and things he’d added to his repertoire and not all of them would be looked upon positively even if his uses of certain skillsets wasn’t as questionable as some could utilise them for. Because, as he would always argue there was no inherently bad magic, magic was a neutral force that could be bent and shaped to one’s wills and desires. Yet those desires could easily become corrupted, for they all possessed emotions and desires; regardless of how dark some of those could be.

Fane would never claim to be associated to a light or a dark force, preferring to see the world in shades of grey. He used his powers as he saw fit and helped those he felt he could, the others? He did his best, but he wasn’t about to put his friends in harm's way for the sake of a general nobody.

“Unassuming demeanor my ass,” he grinned over the edge of his mug at her though as she offered the mug towards him he shied back. “No no, I have my daily quota of sugar intake and that is way above it regardless of how nice it might taste even I have limits.”

There were plenty of people that knew what had happened to Faye. And honestly, all Fane would have to do is ask around the right people in her department and a few probably wouldn’t mind spilling all the details. Though most would probably keep their mouths shut for fear of being on Faye’s bad side. Did Faye think he would go asking about? No, not really. But things had a way of happening when one least expected them, and office rumors and speculation ran rampant in the Auror offices.

On the subject of magic, Faye was flexible. She’d seen ‘good’ magic used for bad reasons, and ‘bad’ magic used for good. But there was some magic that they’d been taught in training that had its uses only for the dark. Though they also taught them to think outside of the box, which any good Auror would try to do. But some were even more stubborn and rigid than Faye, and a flexible mindset was not in their category of skills. And while Faye tried her best to stay open-minded, she’d seen things in her fifteen years that she was certain had no place other than on the bad side of magic.

As for moral flexibility, there was a place where Faye could easily relate. There was the law, and Faye would uphold it to the best of her ability. And then there was that space that floated in and around the law. The grey space, where Faye took the law and interpreted it her own way, finding loopholes where otherwise someone might not be punished the way they needed to be. She wasn’t cruel or heartless, but neither was she stupid or naive to the way the world worked. Or the way the men and women willing to risk Azkaban, or any other number of punishments, worked. The world was not black and white, and Faye knew that as well as anyone.

She made a ‘pffft’ noise at him as he rejected her offer of sampling her coffee. “Fine. Be a spoiled sport with your black water.” But she smiled too. The oven dinged just then, and Faye set her mug aside and moved off to turn it off. She pulled a small tray of muffins out and set them aside, and then checked her frying pan, which was nearly done. “So… you have any plans for later today?” she asked as she worked. “Any exciting antique dealer things going on?”

Fane knew well enough that there were things about her he could learn by snooping around the office, he’d learned in his time that where there was a hierarchy there was always someone within it willing to undermine the highers up. All it took was finding that person and figuring out what it would take to get them to start talking. Mone was the most common factor considering so many of the Ministry employees were overworked and underpaid for their services. But, at the same time Fane had certain limits-- limits that applied to his friends and people he considered important. One of which being that he wasn’t about to go snooping into their personal lives and business.

If Faye wanted him to know the details, he had faith that she’d tell him in due time when she was ready. However long that took, he was willing to wait.

As much as he wanted to trust her, and to tell her these things that he’d seen and done they were still finding their footing with one another. Things were progressing at their own pace, but it didn’t mean the trust was entirely there yet. So, for now he kept his mouth shut and leaned back against the counter as she went off to fetch the food from the oven. Though his hunger was hard to control, and eventually he wandered over waiting until she was busy with the muffins to steal a piece of bacon from the pan wincing at the heat of it but popping it straight into his mouth. “Hm?” he asked after licking his fingers clean of the oil and grease “later? Not really, I’ve got a few things coming in for verification but nothing major… Why? Do you have plans for me?”

“Oi! No eating from the pan!” she laughed, catching him out of the corner of her eye. She plated up the muffins and set the aside, sending the pan to the sink with a wave of her hand. “Just wondering.” Faye really didn’t have any plans of her own today, other than resting and probably trying to get back to work tomorrow. “I mean… if you wanna hang around and watch me do laundry, I won’t complain. Scratch isn’t the best conversationalist.” Her life was pretty dull outside of work. But it was by her choosing. She liked her little house, and she liked the quiet. In the spring and summer she could open the doors in her living room and see the sunset when it wasn’t freezing outside. It was lovely.

Perhaps they could raincheck their dinner for a warmer night in a month or so.

#au #scene #hp au

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