hudson-finn

[hudson-finn]

Forgive and Forget

Tagging: Finn, Rachel & Family Location: Hospital Notes: Finn’s summer takes an unexpected turn to the disappointment of his friends and family.

Finn knew that the summer was going to be his real test when it came to staying sober. Being away from Rachel was going to be his real test whether he liked it or not and he knew that much. The second he moved back into his dad's house, his dad had helped him find a job at a local restaurant. He was just a busboy but he figured it was a good enough place to start saving money for the apartment that him and Rachel would be moving into when they got back to Austin. His summer started off fairly boring, for the most part. He worked, came home and hung out with his dad and then talked on the phone or Facetimed Rachel. Somehow he had fallen into a routine again and while he wasn't exactly happy, he was getting by. It was a few weeks into the summer that he woke up and found himself texting some old friends that he shouldn't. They were old friends from high school he had partied with tons of time in the past and when they invited him out to a party, he decided to go. He had been sober for almost two months and he figured he could handle it at this point. What started as a fairly laid back party erupted into a house filled with people and as Finn sat on the couch beside his friend gripping onto his half-empty drink, he watched as a few people in front of him laid out lines of coke on the table. He watched them as they snorted the lines, his eyes fixated on the white powder as he felt his entire body practically screaming at him to do it. And as if he was having an out of body experience - he did. Finn found himself doing line after line throughout the night before somewhere along the way he ended up at the house of his dealer. God, he was weak and he knew he was but he needed the high. He needed to feel good and the second he was shooting up again, he felt like everything was right. God, why did he stop in the first place? He used sparingly for a couple of weeks before he found himself itching for more. Since he had a little money in his pocket, he bought himself coke and heroin and he found himself eager to mix the two together again. Once he was alone in his room he prepped the heroin and laid out a few lines of coke, snorting them before he injected the heroin into his veins. Immediately he could feel something wasn't right as he laid back on the bed. His heart was racing in his chest as he struggled to breath, him staring up at the ceiling helplessly before everything went black. A groan escaped his lips as his eyes fluttered open and when he realized that he was in a hospital, Finn's eyes shot open. "He's twenty years old, Carole. Almost twenty-one. As much as I want him to go to rehab, he has to do it himself. He has to get clean for himself." Finn could hear his parents just outside the room and he closed his eyes as he felt them fill with tears. "So then maybe he should stay with me. You clearly don't know what you're doing. He almost died in your fucking house Christopher. What if you hadn't gotten back from work early?" A shaky breath escaped his lips as he listened to his parents argue and he knew that he had royally fucked up. Again. He felt helpless as he thought about what would happen next and when he thought about Rachel, he felt a few tears fall down his cheek. She was going to hate him. He had lied to her for weeks and he knew that she would never trust him again after this if she even bothered to show up to see him. He knew he didn't deserve her to.

Rachel felt like she was dreaming the second she got a call about Finn. She really had no idea what to do. The first thing she did was cry -- they had made so much progress and she didn't know what to do. All of that progress was gone. She felt miserable and she knew that in reality, she wasn't even involved. It felt like everything was spinning and she did the only thing that she felt like she could. She talked to her mom and honestly, she didn't even think that she was making words. However, by some kind of miracle, her mom understood and she was already in the car speeding down the highway before Rachel even registered that they were leaving. Rachel felt like she was in shock, honestly. This was something that she never expected and never was prepared for. It obviously had crossed her mind that this was a possibility but it didn't mean that she had prepared herself for anything like this. Never. They quickly drove to the hospital and Rachel felt like she was numb and having a completely out of body experience. A part of her never even realized that she was walking, but soon enough, they were walking in on his parents fighting. God, she couldn't believe this. When they saw her walk up, she heard them fall silent, just keeping her eyes on theirs. "Can I see him? Please? Is he.... is he okay? He's awake right?" She could see his mom simply look away after a moment and Rachel swore she could feel her blood boil. His father nodded towards the door and Rachel slipped in before anyone could tell her no. She shut the door behind her and she looked at the bed, her eyes already welling with tears at the sight of him. "Are you okay?" She choked out, partially afraid to walk up to him just for her own sanity. "I- I got a call from... from your dad and I came here. My uhm... my parents are here." It obviously meant that her dad knew, but she couldn't sense that he was mad that she was with him. He just wanted her safe and happy. "Please tell me that you're okay. I- I just need to know. You scared the fuck out of me, do you know that? I feel like I haven't been breathing for the last hour."

Finn had fucked up so badly and he felt horrible that he was hurting everyone in his life so horribly. He knew his dad felt helpless and responsible for his overdose while his mom was just frustrated about the situation in general. He was making everyone's life miserable and a part of him wished that his father hadn't gotten home from work early so that everything could just be over. When the door opened up, Finn expected to see his parents but when he saw Rachel slip into the room, he felt his heart leap into his throat. A shaky breath escaped his lips as his eyes met hers and he immediately felt guilt pile up heavily on his shoulders. "I'm okay," he breathed out shakily even though he knew he wasn't okay. He knew none of this was okay. When she told him that her parents were there as well, he felt his heart break in his chest. There was no hiding this or the severity of this from her parents anymore, he figured. And it was all his own fault. "I'm sorry, Rach," he told her, him clenching his jaw as he felt his eyes well up with tears again. "I'm sorry." Finn shifted slightly in the bed, moving to sit up ever so slightly as he avoided her gaze. "I just - I don't even know what happened," he breathed out. "I - I just woke up. I haven't - I haven't spoken to anyone. I just heard my - my parents fighting." He felt his voice shaking as he tried to hold himself together and he knew there was that part of him that just wanted to get high to make all these feelings go away. "I'm sorry I fucked up," he whispered. "I fucked up at a party a couple weeks ago and I... I didn't know how to tell you. I'm... I'm so sorry," he told her before a few tears fell down his cheeks. "Everyone is gonna hate me," he cried softly as he put his head in his hands, knowing that him relapsing so severely was going to cause him to lose the trust he had been trying so hard to win back.

Rachel couldn't believe this. She couldn't believe that this had really happened. That Finn was in the hospital. She felt like just yesterday, he had been fine. But apparently, like a lot of stuff, that had also been a lie. She was tired of this, really. Every day she woke up and worried even if Finn told her not to, but it wasn't like she could just flip a switch and turn it off. She'd never be able to. She heard him apologize, she heard him try to make sense of this and to get his bearings, but she felt like she couldn't even hear him. She didn't want to hear him, at this point. "You don't even know what happened?" She said, her voice slightly emotionless. "You overdosed. You almost died. So now you're in the hospital." She didn't want to be mean, but she couldn't exactly help herself. She was so upset -- so disappointed. "I don't want your... your sorry, Finn. I- I can't believe you. You lied to me. Again. You never told me you started using again. I just-" She stopped, her rubbing her hands over her face. "People aren't going to hate you. But everyone is... is disappointed. How could they not? You're ruining your life, don't you get that? How can you act like this?" Honestly, she just wanted to understand but she knew that Finn wasn't going to have a good answer. How could he? "How can you just.... keep doing this? You're ruining everything, Finn. Everything. We had a plan. And now you- you have to start at square one all over again." There wasn't a clue in her mind how she'd deal with doing this all over again and a part of her really didn't want to. But how could she just walk away like this was nothing? "I thought you were fine, Finn. I thought you were getting better."

Finn looked at Rachel brokenly when she spoke. He could hear the disappointment in her voice and he wouldn't be surprised if this was it for her. He wouldn't be surprised if she left him. She had given him so many chances and he let her down at every opportunity he got. When she told him that she didn't want his sorry, he simply nodded as he stared at the little machine that was beeping in time with his heartbeat. He could feel the tears that were falling down his cheeks but he figured it was useless to try and wipe them away at this point. "I didn't want to lie to you," he breathed out. "I just - I didn't know how to tell you," he told her, his voice shaking slightly. He had been terrified for her to find out and yet she had in the worst way possible. "I know I ruined everything," he whispered. He held himself back from saying sorry again because he knew she was just going to tell him to stop. That it didn't matter. And he knew she was right. He could tell her sorry over and over again but it would never be the same as him actually making a change in himself. "I thought I was getting better too. I - I thought I could handle being at a party but then there were... there were people doing coke and I just - I fucked up. I fucked up and then I just wanted to keep going." Finn looked down sadly and shook his head, him sighing sadly before he shifted his gaze back up to meet hers. "If you want to break up with me, I understand," he told her. "I don't deserve you." Finn wrung his hands together before he looked back up at her brokenly and he knew that he really had pushed away the one person in his life who made him better in every way.

Rachel hated everything that was happening. She hated that things had gotten to the point that they did, especially because there was really no way that he could be the Finn that she had fallen so deeply in love with right now. Of course, he was still the same Finn -- she'd love him forever and she would always want him, but seeing him in a hospital bed like this? She felt like she was looking at a stranger. "Finn, you- you avoided parties because you weren't ready. You shouldn't have gone. I know you want to live your life but if you weren't ready you shouldn't have pushed yourself. Do you know how shitty it'll be to go through everything all over again? I-" She ran a hand through her hair, breathing out shakily. The second me mentioned breaking up, she looked at him and she stayed silent for a moment. She really didn't know what to say. A part of her felt like she should -- she couldn't do this for the rest of her life. But how could she just leave him when he needed her? When she needed him? "Finn, stop." She said softly before moving closer to him and moving to wrap her arms around him tightly to hug herself close to him. "I'm so disappointed in you. More than I've ever been. But I- it doesn't mean that I don't love you," She said softly against him before pulling away and looking down at him before moving a hand to wipe her thumb over his cheeks to wipe away the wetness there. "I'm here for you. You know that. But this... this happening? God, I thought I was having a heart attack. You can't put me through this again. I love you, Finn. I do. But I- I can't be living in fear all of the time. I thought we got around that, you know? I thought things were better."

Finn knew that getting clean again would be hell. Going through withdrawals again would be hell. A part of him hated himself because he knew all he was doing was hurting himself and every single person around him. When she told him to stop, he looked up at her with sadness in his gaze and when she moved closer to him, he couldn't help but feel confused. Just hearing her say that she was disappointed in him broke his heart but her telling him that she still loved him caused him to look at her with slight shock in his expression. "I don't deserve you to love me the way you do," he breathed out as she pulled away from him slightly to wipe away the tears on his cheeks. "I really am sorry, Rachel," he told her, his voice shaking slightly. "I didn't want to hurt you. I - I kept telling myself that it was just a slip up and that I'd stop and then I just - I didn't. I got worse and then I just - I did coke and heroin at the same time I felt like I couldn't breathe. And then I just - I woke up here," he told her. Before he could say anything else, his mom and dad walked into the room and he immediately felt even more guilty by the looks on their faces. God, this was the most he had seen them together in years and it was all because he was a fucking wreck. "Thank god you're okay, my baby," his mom cried softly as she hurried over to him, leaning down to hug him tightly before she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You're going to come stay with me after all of this, okay?" she told him as she looked down at him sadly. "If he stays with you, you'll just make it worse, Carole. He's going to rehab," his dad interjected. "You... you can't do that to me again, Finn. If I hadn't gotten back from work when I did you'd be... you'd be..." his dad's voice trailed off and Finn looked between both of his parents sadly. "I'd be dead. I - I know and I - I'm sorry. I just - I don't know what to do," he said softly. "I don't want to go to rehab," he told his dad as he looked up at the older man before he looked over to Rachel. He felt like that little kid caught between two arguing parents again and he knew he just wanted to figure out what to do so that he could get better and just feel safe again.

Rachel felt like shit. She honestly couldn't believe that they were in the situation that they were in, but she was trying to be understanding even if she wanted to scream at him until there was no tomorrow. "I know you're sorry. I just- you should have called me. You should have told me everything and you didn't. We promised each other that we'd be... honest. And you promised me that you were going to stay clean." Obviously, he had tried. But he clearly didn't try hard enough -- and that was what hurt her. Rachel pulled away slightly from Finn as his parents walked in, but she stayed close to his bedside. His parents could be a lot -- she really didn't like his mom but she was trying to be nice and respectful to her no matter what. As he looked to her, she felt her heart race. God, why did she need to get involved? "You two can't force him to do anything. You know he'll just resent you for it." And there she was. Getting involved. She saw her parents walk in and keep off to the side, clearly not wanting to get involved but wanting to show their support. "I've tried. I've tried to get him to rehab and he won't do it. He was getting clean with me. We had a routine. We had milestones. I'll just... I'll let him stay with me again. I- I don't care." She could practically feel her mom looking at her but she didn't care. This was Finn, she had to do something -- she couldn't let his mom and dad stress him out for no reason at all. "He got himself clean and he stayed clean for a long time because I- I was there for him. I tried to help him. He just needs someone. I can help him. I know I'm not a rehab but I- I understand him. I've been there for him and I... I can still be there for him. You just need to let him do what he wants. That's what he needs."

Finn was overwhelmed in a way he had never been before and despite the arguing all around him, all he wanted to do was get high again. He didn't want to feel like this, he just wanted to feel good and he hated that he was bringing so much pressure onto the shoulders of all the people who loved him. God, why couldn't he have just died? When Rachel interrupted his parents, he looked at her with wide eyes. "Rachel that's not fair to you or your family. You can't make him get clean. If we let him do what he wants, in an hour he'll be back out there buying drugs whether you want to believe that or not. And I'm sorry but if you think him being clean for a couple of months was a long time, it's not. Rehab is the only option," Chris said, causing the anxiety Finn was feeling to rise even more as he looked at his dad. He felt even worse that Rachel's parents were seeing all of this and he knew there was no way in hell they'd want him anywhere near their daughter after this. "We can talk about rehab when he feels less pressured, Chris. He should stay with me because we all know you're not going to let him stay with you now." As his parents started arguing once again about what way was better to deal with him and where he'd be going after this, Finn felt himself starting to panic. "I - it doesn't matter where I go," he said, his voice shaking. "I don't want to go with anyone. I'll just - I'll figure it out." Finn grabbed his IV and yanked it out of his arm, pulling the heart monitor off him as well before he started to move out of the bed. He just sat up before his dad gripped his shoulders and forced him back on the bed, Finn trying to push against him before he gave up and laid down. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you doing this to yourself?" his dad said loudly, his fathers eyes filled with tears as he looked at him before the older man shook his head and left the room. Finn sat there with silent tears falling down his face as he looked around at everyone who just seemed to be wearing matching expressions of disappointment. "I'm sorry," he breathed out, not talking to anyone in particular as he looked down at the bed, knowing that he just wanted to disappear.

Rachel really couldn't believe that this was happening. She wanted to disappear -- really, she wanted to disappear with Finn and forget any of this had happened. She wanted to pretend that everything was fine adn that they'd never have anymore problems. There wasn't any single part of her that wanted to fight with his parents, especially because she wanted them to continue to like her. Or well, his dad liked her at least, and that was what she wanted to keep. She wanted to speak up, she really did, but she felt like her voice was caught in her throat. "Finn, stop-" She said, seeing him pull his IV out of his arm and starting to get out of the bed. "Babe, I-" She felt like her heart was racing in her chest and she really felt helpless. What was she supposed to do here? It felt like she was so out of control of the situation and there was nothing that she could do to change things. "Listen, we can take him in." Her mom started, Rachel immediately looking over to her. "Mom-" "We have extra space and we all know that Rachel's been the one helping him to get clean in the first place. He'll stay with us during the summer and then he'll live his normal life. If he wants rehab, there's a very nice rehab in our town that's shown amazing results. Plus, it's the least we can do. He's an adult -- they both are. We need to let them make their decisions." Rachel was staring at her, trying to make words but failing. "W-what?" She whispered, mostly to herself, attempting to wrap her head around the situation. "It's up to you, Finn. Really, everything is up to you. We want to help you. And I damn well know that Rachel does, too."

Finn had almost forgotten that Rachel's parents were in the room until Rachel's mom spoke up, him looking at Shelby in slight shock when she offered to have him stay with them. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he struggled to think of what to say before he heard his mom sigh loudly as she looked at him. "Maybe that would be the best thing." Finn's eyes widened as he looked at his mother, shocked that she would think any idea was better than him staying with her since she had seemed so insistent. "You don't want to stay with me. Your father won't let you stay with him unless you go to rehab. I just - I just want you to be okay, Finn. I just want you to be happy. And you were happy when I saw you last time even if your visit with me didn't go so well." Carole managed a small smile and for the first time in what felt like a long time, he could actually see that his mom cared and that his mom was broken up by the whole situation. "I um... I'd like to stay with you guys," he said softly as he looked up at Rachel's parents, him offering them a small smile. "I just - I don't want to be a burden on you. Or Rachel. I just... no one was supposed to know about this. I was supposed to get it under control myself," he breathed out. "And I obviously want it to be okay with you. I'm not going if it's not okay with you," he told Rachel, him looking at his girlfriend nervously. He knew his addiction was overwhelming for her and while she put on a brave face most of the time, he knew it took his toll on her. The last thing he wanted to do was put her through all of that all over again.

Rachel had no idea what to say to her mom. This was something that she never thought her mom would ever really suggest. Sure, her mom was understanding and she'd understood what was going on with Finn and his life because Rachel had told her some of the details. And well, she'd seen him when he was going through withdrawals right in her bedroom, but Rachel didn't think that her mom would offer something like this. Of course, Rachel appreciated it -- more than her mom new, she was sure. Finn's words were almost like a blur in her mind. She took a minute to process everything before she looked over at him, feeling her heart racing in her chest. "Yeah, of course it's okay." She was terrified to watch him get clean again. She was terrified to watch all of this unfold all over again and god, all she wanted was for him to get clean. To live a normal life and just realize that he could be happy without any kind of substance. "It's okay. I- I just want you to be healthy, I don't care where that is. If it's with me? Then.... then I want you with me. If that's what you want, I want it too. I just- I really need you to try, Finn. I can't... I can't have you come with us and not try. I just need you to make sure you're working on you because I don't know what I'm going to do if this happens all over again and I have to see you in a hospital bed or.... or worse."

Finn was happy that he would get to stay with Rachel but he was just as nervous about the decision as well. He was scared to go through withdrawals and feel incredibly vulnerable not only in front of her, but in front of her parents as well. He didn't know why they cared about him so much, why they weren't pushing him away from their daughter but he was grateful for them. So grateful. "I - I'm gonna try, I promise," he told Rachel as he looked into her eyes. "I won't let this happen again. I - slipped up but I promise that I'm not gonna slip up again." Finn knew that what he was promising was a lot, especially since it hadn't taken him long after being away from her to relapse. However, he was going to try his best to be the guy that she needed and the guy she needed had to be sober. He had to be sober if he was ever going to have a future with her. Finn knew she would only be able to take so much more and he really didn't want to fuck everything up because he couldn't get himself together. "I'm gonna be better this time, I promise, Rach," he told her, him offering her a small smile. "And I - thank you guys," he said as he shifted his attention to her parents. "Most people would be pushing me away so it um... it means a lot that you want to help me."

[hudson-finn]

never fallen from quite this high

Tagging: Finn & Rachel Location: Formal & Hotel Notes: The day of Rachel’s Spring formal for her sorority arrives.

Rachel couldn't wait to just have a normal night with Finn. Of course, they had a lot of normal days together. They spent almost every waking hour together, which she didn't mind at all. She honestly preferred to spend all of her time with Finn, especially because half of her friends just decided that they didn't really care about her anymore. She figured it was fine, anyway. No one understood her and Finn except for Chloe, and she was enough. Chloe had always been just enough for her and now that she had Finn? That was more than she could ask for. Rachel ran a brush through her hair as she looked in the mirror, wanting to ensure that she looked perfect. She'd be in a lot of photos, and well, as the standing president, she couldn't exactly look like she was half-assing her look for the night. Tightening her strap on her heels completely, she gave herself another once over before she moved back into her room where Finn had been finishing getting ready. She had only escaped to the bathroom to finish up and fix her makeup and as she opened the door to her room, she felt a tiny smile pull up at the corner of her lips. "Well, you definitely clean up well." She said, quickly shutting the door behind her to give them some privacy. "Who are you and what have you done with Finn?" She asked teasingly as she walked over to him. Her hands moved up to his tie as she attempted to fix it slightly before her hands moved to smooth out the invisible wrinkles on his clothes. "You look handsome. And really sexy," She added at the end, a small smirk rising on her lips. It felt nice to have him getting dressed up and going with her to something like this, especially because Finn never did anything like this. He never would dream of it if she didn't make him. And well, him suffering a few hours in a suit meant more to her than she really wanted to admit, especially since he could just stay home if he really wanted to.

Finn couldn't believe that Rachel's spring formal was here and he really couldn't believe that she wanted him to go with her. He had been sober for about a month and while it wasn't easy, he really wanted to be better for Rachel. His life was still a mess and his thoughts were all over the place like they always were but things were okay for the most part. He was getting better and he knew that was all that really mattered in the grand scheme of things. As he pulled on his suit jacket, he actually found himself feeling a bit nervous for the formal. This was going to be a huge event with people who were all important in Rachel's world but also a lot of people who were not fans of him. He was grateful that they had fixed things with Chloe and Jamie because he knew if it was him and Rachel isolated that he'd feel a lot worse. When Rachel stepped out of the bathroom, he turned to face her and his eyes widened slightly at the sight of her. Fuck, his girlfriend was stunning. "I clean up good? Babe, you look amazing," he told her as he looked into her eyes. When she fiddled with his tie, he smiled softly and he couldn't help but feel good just feeling normal with her. The whole month of his recovery had pretty much been them being isolated and he was grateful to just feel like a normal couple. "If I knew you seeing me in a suit would turn you on so much, I would have put one on sooner," he said softly as a small smirk tugged up at the corner of his mouth. "You finally got me to go to your fancy formal, Rach," he said playfully. "I don't know how you got me to do this but I must really love you." Finn smiled at her before he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips, knowing that he was grateful to feel like this with her for the first time. To be a real boyfriend for her for the first time in their whole relationship.

Rachel wanted nothing more than to just enjoy this night with Finn. She knew that things had been hard and they had been incredibly distracted from just... enjoying each other and having fun. However, this was their chance to really just enjoy the night and ignore everyone except each other. A soft laugh escaped her lips as he spoke to her and she shook her head. "Babe, you turn me on no matter what you're wearing. You could be wearing a torn up shirt and I'd still think you were hot as fuck," She laughed gently as she moved her hands to rest on his chest for a moment as he spoke to her. She angled her head up to look at him and she offered him a small smile as a shrug rolled off of her shoulders. "Hey, I mean, you didn't make it to my last one so you had to make up for it somehow. And honestly... I play these up a lot but they're not the best. The food is decent and the music is really good but... we can leave early, if you want." She paused, her leaning up to kiss him for a moment before pulling away from him completely. "In fact, we are leaving early because I have plans for us that you don't get to know about yet. My attempt at surprising you, I guess." Rachel wanted them to have a good night, and that included just having some time to themselves later. She wanted to have a good time, but she also wanted time for them to just be Finn and Rachel. "I do want to have a good time at this formal, though. I want to dance... to have a couple of drinks... but you know, eventually, I am going to want you out of that suit." Rachel looked at him with a small smile before moving over to her dresser to grab her small bag that she had gotten ready for the event. She grabbed another bag with a change of clothes for them for later, handing it to Finn. "Bring this to the car when we leave? It's for... later. Because as much as I love you in a suit and I enjoy getting dressed up, I know that we won't be comfortable later. So we can change." She told him, her grabbing her phone. "I'm happy that you're coming this time to the formal. Because I- I really did want you to come to my other one and I know we weren't where we are now so I just- I get it. But it means a lot to me that you're here. That we're both here."

Finn smiled softly as he looked down at Rachel and he knew that he'd go to a thousand of these formals to have her look at him the way she was looking at him. Like she loved him. Like she was proud of him. When she told him that they could leave early if he wanted, he raised his eyebrows in surprise before they shared a soft kiss. "We're leaving early?" he asked her softly as she pulled away. "A surprise for me? What are you up to?" A laugh escaped his lips as he looked at her and he knew that he actually was looking forward to the night ahead. "Did you get us hotel or something?" he asked her playfully. "Don't worry, babe. I definitely plan on getting you out of that dress sooner rather than later tonight. Because, I mean... you look insanely sexy." He watched as she grabbed her bag and a bag of clothes for them and he nodded as she spoke. "Sounds good to me. I'll get out of this suit the second you say the word," he said with a laugh. "And um... I'm happy I'm here too. I wanted to go to the other one I just... you know, wasn't in a good head space. But I am now and I'm just... I'm really happy I can come with you and actually have people see that I'm your boyfriend. I know it doesn't matter what anyone thinks but I want people to see that we're really together and that we're.. you know... serious." Finn shrugged slightly as he looked down at her before he offered her a small smile. "Let's get going then. I want to see Ethan's jealous fucking face when we show up together." It didn't take them long to get to the formal and after finding Jamie and Chloe and getting to sit down at their table with a few other girls from Rachel's sorority, he was relieved to just be able to have some good food and relax with his girl and their friends. Sure, the whole atmosphere was a little uncomfortable since he knew there were people who looked down on him but he found it hard to care when he was enjoying being with Rachel. "I can't believe we're about to be in our senior year. How crazy is that?" Jamie said as he looked from Chloe over to him and Rachel. "It's crazy. This time next year you'll all be graduating. That's insane." A part of him did feel a bit left out since he wouldn't be graduating with them - or even in college - but he didn't want to focus on that when he knew it would bring down the mood.

Rachel knew that Finn wasn't in a good headspace before. He was in a horrible place and she was pushing him -- pushing him too hard. She really was trying to make him into who she wanted him to be instead of letting him figure everything out on his own. They really weren't in a good place, and well, he definitely wasn't. They were completely different than they were now and she just wanted to enjoy this now that they were finally okay. Now that they were on the track to really being happy and serious. "I'm just happy that things are different now. That we're actually... I don't know. Working to be us again." As he spoke about Ethan, she looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You can make all the comments you want, but just promise me that you won't hit him again. And I promise to keep my hands to myself too," She added with a laugh before starting to leave to get to the formal. Once they were there, she was happy to just enjoy themselves and mingle a little bit before finding their place with Jamie and Chloe. "It is really crazy. It's going to suck being so busy next year. Just... student teaching and stuff. If I'm not at school, I'll be taking care of kids. I don't know, I'm excited. I just know I'll be drinking a lot of coffee. And wine," She added before laughing. "But I'm excited to graduate. I just want to get away from here and start a life." With Finn, she hoped. Things didn't feel like they were just playing around. She loved him and she really wanted this to be serious, not just some random person she'd leave behind in her past. "I really can't wait for summer. Finn and I have plans -- well, plans to make plans -- and I'm sure that you guys do, too. I don't want to think about next semester until I absolutely have to." Rachel was excited, sure. But she definitely wanted to enjoy college while she still could. "I'm excited. I mean, Rachel and I in charge of everything and it's our senior year. That's pretty badass," Chloe added, Rachel rolling her eyes playfully. "Yeah. You better not get tired of me, though." She teased her friend, a smile on her lips.

Finn knew that he was going to have to figure out his next move by the time next semester rolled around because the last thing he wanted was to be a burden on Rachel. She was going to be working hard in school and focused on student teaching and the last thing he wanted was to be a distraction the way that he had been to her in the past. "I'm definitely looking forward to summer. Although - I mean, it's kind of gonna suck not living with you, Rach," he said as he looked at his girlfriend. He knew that they had yet to really make concrete plans in regards to the summer or the next semester but he knew they would figure out a way to see one another as much as possible. "You two being in charge of the sorority should be interesting. I'm expecting the best parties from you two, especially the first party of the semester. Those are always the best ones," he said as he looked between Chloe and Rachel. He could see the slightly anxious expressions on Jamie and Chloe's faces and he sighed softly before a laugh escaped his lips. "I'll be at the party drinking a nice cup of soda, okay? Don't worry," he told them. He knew everyone around him was practically waiting for him to fuck up but he was really trying his best to prove to everyone that he was better and that he could be around parties and old friends and be able to control himself. When a slower song came on and Chloe grabbed Jamie and moved onto the dance floor, Finn looked after them for a moment before he turned to face Rachel. "I feel like I'm at prom again," he said with a laugh. "Except at my prom I was wasted so this is like a re-do, I guess." Finn smiled and shook his head as he looked at his girlfriend before moving to stand up, him holding out his hand for her to take. "I know you're thinking it so come on, baby. Let's dance," he said with a playful smile on his face.

Rachel had so many plans for her and Finn. All she wanted was for them to have somewhat of a normal life where they could just... be happy and forget about all of this one day. Obviously, she knew that she was probably being batshit crazy for thinking so far ahead when they both, in reality, were still fairly young, but she just knew that she wanted to experience more than this. She wanted to be with Finn and not worry about what anyone else thought. That was honestly part of the reason for wanting to move far away from the area when she graduated -- she just wanted to be able to have something special with Finn where no one knew who they were or what had happened. Because now, every single person who was anybody at this school knew about her and Finn -- and the greek life on campus was huge. Rachel was drowning in her thoughts for a bit until she heard Finn's voice. She looked over to him and saw him looking at her and she managed a soft smile at his words. "Yeah. A re-do." She whispered, her eyes following him as he stood up and held his hand out for her. "Is Finn Hudson asking me to dance?" She asked playfully, her holding her hand over her heart dramatically. "I feel honored," She whispered before placing her hand in his and standing up with him. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and started to lead him out to the dance floor, passing Chloe and Jamie. Her friend gave her a small smile and Rachel returned it before continuing to walk with Finn to an empty space where they could dance. She moved her hands to wrap around his neck and she pulled herself close to him, not wanting to leave any space between them. "Thank you. For tonight," Rachel said quietly as she looked up at him. "It feels kind of surreal. Being here with you. But I just... I really love it. I love having moments like this with you."

Finn laughed softly as Rachel spoke. "Hey, I'm not gonna be the asshole that makes you sit here all night," he said playfully. As they walked onto the dance floor together, he could practically feel a handful of people around them staring at him but he knew he had to just ignore it. He was going to be known as the guy who got hooked on heroin and kicked out of school for a while whether he liked it or not. Finn wrapped his arms around Rachel's waist, his hands resting on her lower back as they danced slowly to the music and he couldn't help but smile as he looked down into her eyes. God, he really was so in love with her and he honestly had no clue how he was able to call himself her boyfriend. How she was so willing to be by his side despite everything they had been through. "You really don't have to thank me, Rach. I'm happy to be here with you. And I love having moments like this too," he told her. Finn stayed silent for a moment as he danced with her before he smiled softly as he looked into her eyes. "You make me feel like the luckiest person alive," he told her. "Like, I don't have a lot going for me but I just... I don't know. I have you. And I feel like that means so much more than anything else." Finn smiled before he leaned in to press his lips to hers, him deepening the kiss for a moment before he pulled away slowly. "I love you so much," he told her. A part of him didn't know how long he'd stay this lucky - how long he'd be able to have Rachel as his girl when he knew he had the tendency to fuck up. But he loved her and she loved him back and he knew he was going to just let this moment be all he thought about for a while. "You look really beautiful, you know. I can't believe I'm dating a model," he said with a playful smile on his face.

Rachel couldn't believe that she was actually dancing with Finn. Honestly, she never thought this moment would ever come so actually having him here with her made her incredibly happy. She loved him, she loved their relationship and she just couldn't wait for the future. Rachel looked up at him as he spoke and she let a small smile rise on her lips. She gladly welcomed his kiss and immediately leaned up to kiss him back, just wanting to make the moment last. "I love you, too." She told him after he pulled away, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck slightly. "And thanks, but I'm no model. I just wanted to feel... different for one night. I mean, I always try and get ready every day and I do my best, you know? But I mean, this just... I don't know. It always feels nice to get dressed up like this." She told him before laughing gently. "I'll remember that model comment, though. I may have to start making you into the instagram boyfriend who starts taking pictures of me with the snap of my fingers," Rachel teased before shaking her head and looking at his chest for a moment. "It feels good to be here. It means the semester is basically over. I'm really excited to just have the summer with you. I mean, I won't monopolize all of your time but it'll be nice to be able to go on a vacation or something. Or have you stay with me at my house for a few weeks so we can enjoy the pool and everything. I just want to have time with you. For us." She added, a small smile on her lips. "It's going to be weird not waking up next to you every day," She said softly, her one hand running down his chest slightly.

Finn smiled softly as he looked down at Rachel while she spoke. "You look beautiful every day, babe. You're super hot with our without the make up and fancy dress, you know that," he told her. "And you better not make me an Instagram boyfriend where every picture is you holding my hand leading me somewhere." A laugh escaped his lips as he looked at her and he knew that he was just so happy they were finally in such a good place. "I want to have time with you this summer too. And you know I'll gladly come and stay with you at your house." Finn was nervous to be away from Rachel and while he didn't want to admit that to her, he knew she was probably just as nervous as he was for different reasons. He wanted to show her that he could be strong and get through the summer sober but a part of him was scared that he would fuck up. "I don't want to think about not waking up with you every day right now," he told her as he looked down at her. "I obviously want you to have a break from school and everything but I also kind of wish we could just skip the summer and be us, you know?" Finn offered her a small smile as he tugged her impossibly closer to him. "I'll hopefully be able to get my license back over the summer so maybe my dad will let me borrow his car so I can drive to you," he told her. "It'll probably be a while before I can actually afford to get myself a car but I'll be relieved to not have everyone driving me around all the time and to feel normal again."

Rachel knew that Finn wasn't perfect. When she signed up for this, she was fully prepared for him to make mistakes. It didn't mean that she'd be okay with them or that she'd immediately forgive him, but she was willing to stick by his side through it all no matter what. Rachel was well aware that things weren't perfect and she was okay with that. But things were as close to perfect as she'd be, she was sure. "I know. I don't want to think about it either," She said, a soft laugh escaping her lips. As he spoke, she just nodded gently and offered him a tiny smile. "If you can't, I mean, it's fine. I really don't mind driving to you, you know that. I mean, my mom drives here to see me just to have dinner and it's over an hour drive for her. So don't worry, you'll get to see me whether you like it or not," She said teasingly. "It'll be good for you to have some kind of freedom again, though. I mean, I know that you can walk and Uber places if you wanted to or however else you want to get around, but I mean, me driving you places gets old, I'm sure." Rachel shrugged and looked at him with a tiny smile before sighing. "I'm happy to have anything with you at this point. Even if we can't see each other every day, it'll be nice to just... have a date night or something. I don't know. My mom already said that you're welcome to stay with us for as long as you want. She thinks you're like... the son she never had, so don't be shy. I can always pick you up and drive you up to me so we can have a few weeks together or something, you know? I mean, I'm excited for it all." She really was just looking forward to having a somewhat normal relationship throughout the whole summer that she prayed would translate into the next school year. She didn't want to let Finn go because she knew that this was different. They were different. "Are you still going to be stuck with me next semester? We need to decide on a place together if you're going to be living with me. And this time, we don't need to worry about a herd of other girls living in the same place as us."

Finn hated that he had fucked up so badly with his car accident in the beginning of the year but he was ready to just have things go back to normal. He wanted to drive again and feel independent again and he really was ready to get back on track. Sure, he didn't know exactly what that meant for him but he knew it wasn't what he was used to now. He had to figure out what he was doing - getting a job or going back to school - and he knew he'd come to a conclusion at some point before the semester started up again. At least, he hoped he would. "I'm glad your parents like me. I don't know how they like me so much when they know - well, at least, your mom knows - how fucked up I am," he said softly. "But I'll visit you. I can always take the bus too." When she asked him about the next semester, he smiled softly as he looked into her eyes. He liked talking about the future with her like this. "I mean, I want to be stuck with you next semester," he said with a laugh. "I love living with you and it'll be nice to actually have our own place. I'm gonna get a job this summer and start saving up and obviously I'll make sure I have a job once we move back too. I don't want you to be the one taking care of me the way you have been. I just - I know you don't feel that way but I feel like I've been mooching off you and I really don't want to do that to you anymore," he explained. "Having our own place will be awesome," he said softly as he looked into her eyes, knowing that he was certainly excited for the future ahead of them.

Rachel knew that her mom and dad loved him. Honestly, the trip had been a total success to her house during spring break and she knew that her and Finn really needed it. They needed to get away, even if things weren't perfect back then. They had worked on things and they were really trying and that was all that really mattered to her. "I like living with you, too. I don't know what I'm going to do when you're not next to me. I mean, you're like my own personal space heater." At this point, Rachel wasn't even sure what song was playing -- she was too engrossed in just speaking with Finn about the future. She loved being with him like this and she loved feeling like they were in their own little world. "Babe, you know me too well. I really don't care that I'm taking care of you. I know you don't exactly have the means to right now so I'm going to help you out whether you like it or not. And when you get a job... well, I'll give you that space but until then, you know I'm going to help you out. I don't think you're mooching off of me," She said with a soft laugh. "If I thought you were after whatever money I had, I think I would have noticed by now. And I would have dropped you to the curb already." Rachel chuckled softly before moving to lean her head against his chest for a moment. "All of this is just... It'll not be a problem by next semester. I really have a good feeling about this. Us. And I know that we're really trying to make things work and I'm so happy about that. I really am. I love you and I want this to work. No matter what. And having our own place will only make things better. A lot better."

Finn was glad that Rachel knew he wasn't with her for money because there was no way in hell he'd take advantage of her that way. He knew from the outside looking in that he probably seemed like a horrible guy but he really didn't have negative intentions when it came to her. He loved her. "I want this to work too," he said softly as she leaned her head against his chest, him pressing a kiss into her hair as he held her close. "I know that we're like... the real deal kind of shit, you know? And I want that with you so badly. I want everything with you," he told her. Finn danced with her and stayed silent for a few moments before he pulled away slightly so he could look down into her eyes, him offering her a small smile. She was so perfect and he honestly didn't know why she was with him half the time but he knew that he wanted to be the kind of guy who deserved to be with her. He didn't want her to have to worry about him the way that she did, he just wanted them to be happy. "We've been here for a while now and I - you know, I kind of just remembered that you said you had a surprise for me," he told her. "And, I mean, I'm pretty sure the surprise is whatever you're wearing or not wearing under this dress and I kind of really want to find out," he said with a playful smile on his face as he met her gaze with his.

Rachel looked at Finn as he pulled away, her about to speak as he did so. However, he beat her to speaking and she simply listened before a slight smirk rose on her lips. "You've really just thought about getting me naked this entire night, haven't you?" She asked with a soft laugh before tugging gently at his suit jacket, trying to tease him. "We're more than welcome to leave. I was kind of hoping to get out of here in a little bit, anyway. I didn't want to cut your prom 2.0 short, you know?" Rachel enjoyed the feeling of just being free to do whatever she wanted with Finn. She just couldn't wait until this was something that she could feel every day. "You finding out what's under my clothes is always a part of my plans, babe." Honestly, how could it not? She was positive that she'd always want that. "You have to just get in the car and hope that you get what you want," She said teasingly before grabbing his hand and starting to lead him off of the dance floor. She passed Chloe and Jamie on the way, them still dancing and she offered her friend a small smile before returning to the table to grab her bag that was sitting there. Once she had it in her possession, she continued to walk outside and to her car that she had parked. "To add onto the cliche aspect of the night, I did get us a hotel room. Only because I'm not exactly too keen on listening to every single person in the sorority house getting laid tonight," She grinned as she got in the car and buckled her seat belt, waiting for him to do so as well. "Not that I care, but you know, I think we deserve a little break. And I'm definitely trying to enjoy some wine or some champagne." Rachel was trying to take what Finn said to heart -- she knew that she was just his boyfriend and that she didn't need to be the one to take care of him. All she was trying to do was give him a little space to be himself and not have her worry about him twenty-four seven. "I was going to say we could have some nice, romantic evening and take some cheesy walk like they do in the movies at night, but I'm kind of looking forward to you getting me out of this dress.

Finn laughed as he looked down at his girlfriend. "I mean, babe, you told me that you had a surprise for me. Of course I've been thinking about you naked," he said with a playful smile on his face. "You're such a tease." A laugh escaped his lips as he walked off the dance floor with her and once she grabbed her back, he followed her out to her car. "I knew you got us a hotel room," he said with a laugh as he got into the car with her. "I'm excited though, it'll feel like a little vacation and yeah, I'm not really in the mood to hear other people fucking all night." He was happy to have a little alone time with her that was more than just them lounging in his room. For the past month of him being sober, he had been pretty boring and he knew that but unfortunately it was what he had to be in order to keep himself in check. He was sure in time he'd be able to do more fun things but he knew himself and he knew whenever he went to a party that he started getting that itch to get high. Plus, in those situations getting drugs was just too easy for him and that wasn't a good situation either. "I thought our nice romantic evening was in there," he said with a laugh. "But honestly, Rach, I'm down for a walk or whatever you want to do. I'm just happy to feel like a normal couple for once, you know? This whole night just - it feels good." Finn smiled as he looked over at her before he sat up slightly, him tugging his suit jacket off so that he was just in his dress shirt. "This thing is so hot, by the way. I don't know why anyone likes wearing suits."

Rachel rolled her eyes gently as she started to drive. "You're such a guy. Literally you think about sex 98 percent of the day and the other 2 percent is spent with you actually thinking of normal things," She said, looking over at him for a moment. "I mean, that's true. We did have a nice, romantic evening already. I'm down to just not leave the bed for the rest of the night." She really didn't care what they ended up doing, especially because she was just happy to be out of the sorority house for the time being. "We can take a walk tomorrow. The more I think about it, the more I really want to be out of this dress and relax." She paused. "Well, our version of relaxing. Which includes the both of us in bed. And well, not relaxing." A laugh escaped her lips as she turned down a different street and she couldn't help but smile. She really did love feeling normal and just having a good night with Finn -- one that didn't include them lounging around the house all day. "I thought you meant hot as attractive. Because it is. But I can imagine it's hot, babe. You're wearing like three layers of clothing. I get it. Suits are expensive and hot as fuck to sit in all night. You could have taken the jacket off forever ago, you know that, right?" She said as she pulled into the parking lot for the nice hotel she had booked for them for the night. "I feel for the guys, honestly." She said as she parked her car. "At least girls can wear something skimpy and still be somewhat cool. You're stuck under all of that for the entire night."

Finn smirked as he looked over at Rachel. "I mean, Rach, I'm a guy. We think about sex. I can't help it." He was excited to just spend the night with her in a hotel, especially since it was a change of pace from what they normally did. This whole night had been a change of pace from their normal routine if he was being honest. It made him happy as he looked over at her driving to see her so content and he knew that she needed this night and he was happy to be there with her. While she played down how important this formal was to her, he knew it meant a lot for him to be her date. To know he was doing something for her and making her happy meant the world and he was so happy to see a smile on her face. "You literally still stayed with me after seeing me sick for weeks. I already know you think I'm hot," he said teasingly. "And I know I could have taken it off, I wasn't really thinking about it until now, though." When she pulled into the hotel parking lot, his eyes widened slightly when he noticed it was a nice hotel and he was definitely looking forward to the night even more now. "Don't feel bad for guys. We get to look at you in your super sexy dresses so it's even," he said with a laugh. Once they were parked, Finn grabbed the bag of clothes that she had him take earlier before he walked into the hotel with her. He looked around the lobby with slight shock in his expression before he leaned down to whisper in Rachel's ear as she checked them in. "You always have to go big, don't you? This place is fucking insane," he said softly, a playful smile pulling up at the corner of his lips as he stood up fully once more.

Rachel averted her eyes over to Finn as he spoke and she managed a soft chuckle. "It's not that amazing, Finn. It's a nice hotel, yeah. But I wasn't going to shack us up in some motel down the street from the school. You're in a suit. I'm in a lacy dress. We look like a million bucks and I want us to just... have a good night. That includes having a nice, fancy bed." She said as she stood at the counter to check them in. As the man handed her two key cards to the room, she smirked and led them to the elevator. "Hm, I mean... I do like to go big. But this is important to me. I'm definitely not staying in some gross place and I'm going to take advantage of having some huge king sized bed for the entire night." HOnestly, Rachel was incredibly excited to get some time away from their room. While she loved her room and loved just relaxing, she hated that the room had also seen so much of the bad stuff that had happened. There were so many memories that would forever change her and would forever be attached to that room. When she left it, she was positive that things would feel completely different. Rachel continued to talk casually about the hotel until they got to their floor, her going to their door down the hall and holding onto his hand. "Is this a cliche enough night for you? A dance and a hotel room. You must feel like a teenage boy about to really enjoy his first prom night," She teased with a grin before she tugged him against her before opening the door and going into the room. "Well, here she is. I think we'll be very, very comfortable for the rest of the night. The bed is like, double the size of the one at the room in the house."

Finn couldn't help but laugh softly as Rachel spoke. "Babe, this is fancy. I know you grew up in fancy but like... the fanciest hotel I've been in is a Holiday Inn." He smiled at her as he walked with her to the elevator and he couldn't help but feel excited about the fact that they really had their own hotel room for the night. Never before in his life had he been in a serious relationship like this and he had definitely never gotten a hotel room with someone to have some romantic night together. His relationship with Rachel often felt so foreign from the rest of his life because it really was the one thing that was perfect to him. Even in their negative moments, he still felt like as long as he had her, he was okay. "Oh, it's very cliche, babe. But I'm into it," he said with a laugh, him raising his eyebrows as she tugged him against her. God, he loved her. "Honestly, this bed might be the first bed I've ever seen that looks like my feet won't even be near the end of it." Finn smiled as he stepped further into the room, him exploring into the bathroom. "Whoa! Babe, this place has like a fucking jacuzzi in here!" He moved out of the bathroom and back into the room, him kicking off his shoes before he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Thank you, you know, for doing this for us," he told her as he looked into her eyes. "It feels good to get out of the room for a little bit. I love living with you but that place has kind of been... I don't know... been a little bit of a prison for us for the past month," he said softly. He knew that him getting clean wasn't just hard for him - it was hard for her too and she had stayed by his side for a whole month and never complained once. "I really don't deserve you," he said with a small laugh, him shaking his head before he looked back to her with love in his gaze.

Rachel couldn't wait to relax for the night. Of course, a lot of the night wouldn't exactly be relaxing, but that was also exactly what she needed. As Finn walked into the hotel room and started looking around, she couldn't help but laugh gently before moving to put her small clutch on the dresser in the room and also put her phone down. "A jacuzzi sounds really nice. I wouldn't mind sitting in there for a while tonight if you're up for that. I mean, not until I get all wrinkly and pruny, but it'll be a nice change of pace. I hate not taking baths. I was always the one at home to sit in my bathtub for like an hour with some kind of bath bomb. It was nice. But at school, I mean, we have a shower. WHich is good, obviously. But it's nice to just relax." Rachel walked over to him and moved to stand in front of him before wrapping her arms around his neck to keep close to him. "No, I know what you mean. It's nice to get out. This is for you, babe. To celebrate you being clean. For us being here. I want to do stuff like this for you to know all of the really amazing things that can happen if you keep going on the track you're on right now. The one that keeps you clean." She told him before leaning forward to kiss him softly. "I love you, Finn. I really do. And I've been trying to be more hands off like you wanted me to and it's... hard. It is. But I just- I'm happy that you're happier now. That we're both happy. It feels so good to have this and to know that you're always there for me and that I'm there for you. It makes me really excited." She paused, her fingers running through the hair at the nape of his neck gently. "And while you keep getting clean, I just- I want to have little surprises for you. They don't need to be this extravagant but even if it's us saving a day for each other and going to the movies or something. Just a little date to celebrate your progress. You deserve to have little milestones to keep you going, you know?"

Finn looked over at Rachel happily and he knew that he hadn't felt this good in so long. He knew he had a lot to work on mentally and he was still struggling when it came to staying in a good mindset to be clean. "I'll take a bath with you any day," he said with a laugh as he looked over at her. When she moved to stand in front of him, her arms slipping around his neck, he looked up at her with love in his eyes as he moved to rest his hands on her hips. His eyebrows raised when she told him that this was for him to celebrate him being clean. "Really?" he questioned softly before she pressed her lips to his. Finn kissed her back lovingly and when she told him that she loved him, he felt himself falling even harder for her. "I love you too. And please know that I love how much you care about me but me wanting to keep a little space is so that I'm not consuming you so much. I still need you to be Rachel even if you're... you know... focusing on me a lot lately." Finn offered her a small smile before he pressed another kiss to her lips and he knew that he was the luckiest person alive to have her as his girlfriend. "You're amazing, you know that? I really don't know what I'd do without you. I - I'd be... I'd be on the street or worse if it wasn't for you being in my life. You're just - you're the best person I've ever known." Finn knew if it wasn't for Rachel that he'd probably be at a low point that he couldn't even imagine and while he was grateful for her, a part of him was scared for the summer ahead because she wouldn't be the constant in his life every day the way she had been. "This is the best a little over a month clean milestone I could have asked for," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. "Thank you for having faith in me, baby," he whispered before he pressed another kiss to her lips.

Rachel looked at Finn and she let a small smile rise on her lips as he spoke. "I Know. I'm trying to be better at just being your girlfriend and not being your... keeper. I still want to be your support system but I'm trying to be better for you," She murmured softly, her fingers running through his hair again slightly. She really did want to be normal and to just be with Finn and not worry about her getting upset over some minimal thing because she was too invested in everything. "I think you're the amazing one, but thanks for the compliment," She said teasingly. "But I'm glad you like this. I know it's not something that you necessarily expected but it's nice to just have us time. And I'll always have faith in you, babe. Always. I- I know that things are hard but I'm always gonna be here. Even when school is over, I'm just a phone call and a drive away," She murmured against his lips before kissing him, one of her hands moving to his jaw. She deepened the kiss for a moment before pulling away and looking into his eyes. "You know I'm always going to be here. No matter what happens." Rachel wanted to make sure he knew that more than anything -- she'd always be here for him no matter what. And she meant that. "You've changed me. I never used to be this much of a romantic, either. I guess it's all those nights cuddling in bed and watching movies while we were stuck in that room that made me into the mush I am now."

Finn knew he was going to try as hard as he could to stay clean for Rachel - for their relationship - because he knew he needed her in his life more than he had ever needed anyone. When she pressed his lips to his, he kissed her passionately before she pulled away and he nodded when she told him that she would always be there for him. "I know you will be. And I'll always be here for you too," he said softly. When she told him that he had changed her, he couldn't help but laugh. "You've changed? Look at me. I never even had a serious relationship until you. I didn't think I even knew how to be romantic with someone." Finn pressed a quick kiss to her lips before he moved to get up, him taking her hand in his as he tugged her closer to him. "As much as I am a romantic, I'm also a guy and I think it's about time we get you out of this dress," he said teasingly. "And, you know, you did mention earlier that we could try out that jacuzzi tub." Finn smiled at her before he loosened his tie before pulling it off, knowing that he just wanted to be able to relax with his girlfriend for the rest of the night.

Rachel rolled her eyes playfully at him as he moved to get up. "Finn, you're romantic. I mean, you're not a sweep me off of my feet kind of guy but you do a lot of romantic things all of the time. And first of all, I don't need you to be super mushy because I like how you are and I think if you started all of a sudden acting like you were some crazy romantic freak, I might have to dump you," Rachel said teasingly as he went to pull her close to him. "See, there's the Finn I know and love. Already trying to get me out of my dress. But that's well appreciated," She said as she went to reach her hands behind her back. "You're lucky, you have like nothing to take off of me." Rachel told him as she pulled down the zipper and turned around to walk towards the bathroom. "I mean, you obviously knew I wasn't wearing a bra. I just made your night that much easier," She said teasingly as she moved to drop the silky fabric off of her body, simply walking out of it before she moved towards the tub to start filling it with hot water. She was more than ready to relax and just pamper herself for a while and to let herself relax in Finn's arms. Turning to Finn after a moment, she offered him a small smirk and went to start grabbing the buttons of his shirt, working at them slowly as she went to meet his eyes. "I like seeing you in the suit. You have to promise to wear one for me next year again at some point, even if I have to drag you to a fancy restaurant so I can at least see you in a suit jacket and some khakis or something," She teased as she continued to work at the buttons of his shirt before making it to the bottom and pushing the fabric off of his shoulders.

Finn laughed as Rachel spoke. "I mean, you're not wrong. If I started acting like some romantic freak, I'd hope you'd break up with me. Even I'd break up with me." When she told him that he was lucky he had nothing to take off her, he bit down on his lip as he looked into her eyes before she started heading towards the bathroom. "Wow, you're really doing me a lot of favors tonight," he said playfully as he pulled off his belt before following her into the bathroom. He watched as she let her dress fall to the floor and his eyes darkened at the sight of her in just her underwear. Damn, he really did have the hottest girlfriend. When she moved towards him after turning on the tub and started unbuttoning his shirt, he smirked as he looked down at her. "Rach, I'll wear a suit whenever you want me to," he told her. "If it makes you feel the way that me seeing you in that dress made me feel then say the word and I'll put a suit on." Once she pushed the fabric off his shoulders, he let it fall to the floor before he pulled off his pants as well. "I'm so used to wearing a hoodie and jeans that it's weird to have to put so much work into getting my clothes off," he said with a laugh as he looked into her eyes. Finn stepped closer to her and slipped his arms around her waist, him pulling her against him before he dipped his head down to press his lips to hers. "You are so sexy, Rach," he breathed out between soft kisses, him pulling away after a few moments. His gaze swept over her body before he noticed that the tub was almost finished filling up and he couldn't help but smile at her as he led her towards it. He pulled off his underwear before he stepped closer to the tub, more than looking forward to just relaxing with his girlfriend. "I don't think I've ever had the opportunity to be in a bathtub big enough to fit me in it," he said with a laugh as he stepped into the water and moved to sit down, a content sigh escaping his lips once he was fully submerged. "Come on in, baby, the water's great," he said playfully.

Rachel looked up at Finn as he began to slip his arms around her waist. "Mm I really never get tired of hearing that." She whispered against him before she continued to kiss him. She couldn't wait to just relax with him for the night and forget about everything else. Really, she was glad that they didn't have to talk about everything in their past for once. They could just focus on them. She watched as he began to get in the tub, her getting off her underwear before getting into the bathtub with him and moving against his side. She relaxed against his chest and sighed contently, her hand moving to rest on his chest for a moment as she relaxed with him. It felt nice for a chance to have time alone with him -- truly alone. "The water's only great because I ran the bath. If you did it, it would be freezing cold. Men act all tough and then they can't even handle a burning hot shower," She teased him, her rubbing her hand along his chest for a moment before moving it to float against the water. Her fingers dragged along the water gently and she sighed. "I don't even want to have to think about tomorrow. Like... I know we need to get back to our normal life and figure things out. But I really, really just want to worry about right now." She let her eyes shut for a moment before she pulled away slightly to look at Finn and meet his eyes. "This is nice. We feel normal for once," She laughed gently before returning her head to it's previous place against his chest. "Only a bath bomb would make this a lot nicer. Then you'd come out feeling like you drowned in lotion for five million years."

Finn slipped his arms around Rachel as soon as she joined him in the tub and he couldn't help but smile as she rested her hand on his chest. It felt so good to just relax with her like this and he knew he needed this night more than he had even realized. "I won't argue with you there. I'm not tough enough to handle your showers, I've jumped in them with you and I'm pretty sure I still have third degree burns," he said teasingly. He watched as she ran her hand along the water and he felt almost hypnotized by the small movement. "Then let's just worry about right now," he whispered. "We don't have to think about anything else for tonight." Finn smiled as he looked at Rachel and he couldn't help but laugh when she said that they felt normal for once. "It was bound to happen eventually, I guess," he said with a playful smile on his face. "Maybe when I visit you over the summer we can take a bath with one of those things. You talk them up so much I'm starting to think I'll feel the most relaxed I've ever been from one of them." A content sigh escaped his lips as he relaxed with Rachel and he knew he was incredibly lucky to just focus on the two of them spending time together. "Hey Rach?" he said softly. "I know we've talked about it like... casually but um... do you really want to live with me next semester?" he asked her. "I mean, I obviously want to live with you and I - I promise by the time next semester rolls around I'll have some kind of job so I can pay rent with you but I just... I want to make sure that you're sure. Because living in our own apartment is different than me staying with you," he said, feeling himself rambling slightly. He didn't know why he felt nervous when he knew what the answer would be but at the same time he couldn't help but be scared that she didn't think she could trust him enough to actually count on him to be a good roommate.

Rachel managed a soft laugh at Finn's words as she rested against him. "Yeah, we can take a bath with a bath bomb when you come and visit me. I'll try not to get one that's super sparkly or pink just for you. You know, something normal so you don't feel like I'm harming your masculinity." She couldn't help but tease him, especially when she felt so light-hearted. For once, she felt like things were really normal and she couldn't wait to experience this every single day of her life. As his voice grew softer, she continued to rest against him and hummed her acknowledgment of his speech. She kept quiet as he spoke, just trying to listen to his words. Really listen. "Babe." She said softly, her letting out a soft breath. "Of course I do, Finn. Look, I wouldn't have even suggested it if I didn't think that I was serious about this. I'm serious about you. I want us to stay together. Find a place. I mean, you deserve somewhere that's private while you're there so you don't feel awkward even walking downstairs to get coffee or breakfast in the morning. We just... we'll have us. We can do what we're doing now and run with it and not worry about anything. I just- I know that it's gonna be different. A lot different. But I'm excited to just have some time to be alone. I know that it'll be hard for us. Being completely alone like that. But don't worry about the money thing, alright? My parents are helping me out and if you don't get a job right away... we'll figure it out. I trust you, Finn. I know you're trying and I know that you'll figure it out. But this'll be good for us. I know we live together now basically, but this really'll kind of show us what it's like, you know? It'll be the real thing, not just some sorority house room."

Finn rolled his eyes playfully when Rachel told him that she would try and get him a "manly" bath bomb. As they started talking about them eventually living together, he looked at her nervously. He hated that he was nervous when he knew she meant every word she said to him. It wasn't that he didn't believe her, it was more so that he didn't trust himself. He was terrified to fuck up their relationship - terrified to hurt her and he knew that moving in together was going to be a test for them. It was different than just living in a room. This would be them sharing rent, sharing expenses and really putting themselves as a serious couple to the test and the last thing he wanted to do was fuck that up. "It will be a lot different but I - I'm excited," he said softly. "I'm so ready to live with you," he told her. Finn looked down for a moment with a small smile on his face before he brought his gaze back up to meet hers and he felt his heart swell with love as he looked into her eyes. He couldn't fuck this up. He couldn't lose the person he truly loved more than anything. "I wish we could just move in together now," he breathed out before he leaned in to press his lips to hers. "Mm, I love you," he murmured as he pulled away slowly. "You know, it's almost been a whole year since we met. First day of the semester and it'll officially be a year. I still can't believe that we met doing coke together at a frat party and now we're where we are now," he said with a slight laugh. A part of him couldn't believe how much he had changed and how much his life had altered its course in a year. While he was ashamed of the mistakes he made, he was trying his best to make up for them and he knew his relationship with Rachel was worth all of the hardships he had been through.

Rachel couldn't wait to live with Finn. Sure, it wasn't going to be easy. And sure, it was going to be a huge change but she thought that they were ready. At least she hoped so. It felt impossible to think that her and Finn would fall apart because of them just moving in together. "I'm really ready to live with you, too. And as much as I wish we could live together now, we can't. And we definitely don't have the money to do that right now. At all," She laughed gently before moving in to meet his kiss. "I love you, too. A lot." She murmured gently, smiling against him before she looked into his eyes. "This is a huge change. I mean, I was way more reckless than I was before. I always liked to party, but I'm pretty sure that I was getting a little out of hand back then and then... well, we're here. Chloe's been trying to get me to go out with her recently and I was thinking about actually going. I don't know. It's the end of the semester, I feel like I need some time to just let loose a little bit now that all of my papers are basically finished." Rachel knew that Finn would want her to live a normal life, but also being that long without him wasn't exactly something that she was completely comfortable with. After all, they basically spent every moment together now. "We've really come a long way. I mean, we've been together for a while, too. Maybe not officially for a while but... still. I mean, it's nice. It feels good to have something like this with you because... I don't know. A part of me felt like I wasn't meant for some serious relationship. I always kind of just fucked around before this because I felt like I wasn't really ever going to get more for a long time. But now that I have this? I don't know. I really like what more feels like. Everything just means so much more, you know?"

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "It is a huge change but you weren't really out of hand, babe. Although, I mean, I guess I'm comparing your out of hand to my out of hand and it's pretty different," he said with a laugh. "You should go out though, you deserve it. I want you to let loose and have fun." Finn knew that it was probably best if he stayed away from the party scene for a while since it was too tempting for him and there were too many familiar faces who he knew he could score drugs from. While he obviously missed partying and having fun the way he used to, he also knew that he'd fuck up everything he had been working towards if he did that again. "I didn't feel like I was going to have a serious relationship either. I mean, I was also never really looking for one either. I was content with just fooling around but then I met you. I have to say, I didn't think I'd like being in a relationship but I honestly can't imagine anything else now." Finn smiled as he looked into her eyes and he knew she was right about everything meaning so much more now. She made him feel like he had something to fight for and he knew all he wanted to do was make her proud of him. All he wanted to do was make her happy. "We've gotten so soft," he said with a laugh. "I remember when we first started hooking up and everything was so casual and now we're all in love and it's just crazy to me. I never would have thought that we'd end up dating, you know? I mean, I honestly didn't think you'd even want to date me after that one fight we had but I'm just... I'm really grateful that you gave me another chance, babe. I really don't know what I'd do without you."

Rachel knew that her and Finn had been at least somewhat similar when they had first met. While she hadn't been necessarily as crazy as he was and had turned out to be, she still was a lot more reckless than how she was now. Then again, college had made her crazy -- that was no doubt. "Yeah. I mean, I didn't think I was necessarily ever going to have this. And here we are. I really do love it, though. It's nice to have someone to lean on all of the time, you know?" She said, her looking at him and offering him a small smile. "We really have gone soft. I think if someone told us that this would be us, we'd probably laugh and flip them off. I mean, who knew, you know? It's cute, kind of. How mushy we are. It's nice to just... feel different. I don't know. A part of me feels like a totally different person but I know I'm not. Rachel wrapped her arm around him for a moment, keeping herself close to him and leaning slightly off of his chest so she could look at him. "I love you. And I know that things have been touch and they've been hard but I just- I love you, babe. You know that I'm always going to try and help you with everything. I'm always going to be here. No matter what happens. And I mean that." She told him, her leaning forward to kiss him gently before deepening for a moment. As she pulled away, she pressed another soft kiss to his lips before looking at him again. "One more year and we can get our asses out of here. It'll be so quick. The fastest year of our lives, I promise. And until then... we get to enjoy every single moment of this," She murmured as she ran her hand along his chest gently.

Finn knew that he was so lucky to be with Rachel and to have someone who was always in his corner the way that she was. "Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's pretty cute. But it is nice to feel this way. I mean, I've never had anyone treat me the way that you treat me or make me feel the way that you do," he said as he looked at her with a small smile on his face. As she told him that she loved him, he couldn't help but feel his heart swell with love and he knew that he was never going to get over hearing those words from her. "I love you too. And I know you're here for me. I'm always here for you too, no matter what," he said softly before they shared a loving kiss. When she pulled away, he smiled at her and when she said that this next year would be the fastest one of their lives, he hoped desperately it would be. "One year from now I hope that I'm a year sober and just... just with you and knowing what will happen next. I don't care if you want to stay here or - or move across the country. Whatever you want to do, I want to be there with you." Finn smiled softly as he looked into her eyes before he pressed another kiss to her lips. He deepened it for a few moments before he pulled away slowly. "We should probably get out of this bath before we turn into human prunes," he said with a laugh. "And, I mean, as much as I love talking about how much I love you, I also really, really love showing you too," he said with a playful smile on his face as he looked into her eyes.

Rachel laughed gently as he suggested to get out of the tub before they became prunes. "You're right. We do need to get out. And I like your plan a lot more than sitting in here," She laughed gently before moving to get out and grabbing a towel from the rack. She felt much more relaxed now that they had spent this time just relaxing, but she was really looking forward to the rest of the night. Honestly, she wasn't planning on doing much sleeping, but she was happy to just spend some time relaxing while they still could. It sucked, really. To not have all of this time together all of the time because they were stuck at the sorority house. However, they took the time that they could and that was all she could really ask for. Rachel wrapped the towel around herself and grabbed one for Finn, her tossing it to him. "I mean, we don't really need the towels, but I'd rather not get the bed completely soaked if we're stuck sleeping in it all night," She said with a teasing smirk, her attempting to dry herself off the slightest bit. After tonight, she was positive that she'd never want to go back to the sorority house, especially knowing that they could have this time alone -- it was only a year away, though. She had to keep telling herself that. "Are you going to join me or are you going to keep me waiting?" She asked as she went to leave the bathroom, looking back at him for a moment before moving to sit on the edge of the bed, leaning back after a moment to sink into the white comforter. "My bed is going to feel like a cardboard plank after laying on this," She laughed, her letting her eyes shut contently.

Finn got out of the tub after Rachel did before he drained the bath and grabbed the towel she tossed to him. "I guess you're right. I don't want to sleep on soaking wet sheets all night," he said with a laugh as he started drying himself off. When she asked him if he was going to join her as she went to leave the bathroom, he looked at her with lust in his gaze. God, he loved her so much and he would never get tired of how good things were between them. "You only have a couple weeks before your back on your bed at home and that thing is a fucking cloud," he said with a laugh as he stood in front of her at the edge of the bed, a playful smile on his face as he leaned over her and pressed his lips to hers. He deepened the kiss as his hands moved to her thighs, him picking her up for a moment to move her further up on the bed before he settled over her. "You are so fucking perfect," he whispered between kisses before he started trailing his lips down along the curve of her neck. He was so excited to spend the rest of the night just focusing on her and how much he loved her and he knew it was a night that they both needed more than anything. Things had been rough for the last month and to finally feel things getting normal again was exciting. Sure, every day he still thought about how much he wanted to get high and every day was a struggle but he could do it when he was with Rachel. "You know, for everything you've done for me over the past month, I owe you so many favors," he said teasingly as he looked down into her eyes with a playful smirk on his face as his hands trailed along her sides. He was so fucking in love with her and he knew that he just wanted this night to last forever.

Rachel looked at Finn and let a soft laugh leave her lips as he picked her up and moved her further up the bed. "Mm, you're right. I can't wait to go home and sleep on that bed," She whispered out gently. "And I really can't wait for you to join me one night pretty soon on that little cloud." Obviously, they couldn't spend every second of every day together, but she wanted him to come spend as much time as possible with her in the summer. Her eyes fluttered shut gently as he moved his lips down her neck, angling her head gently to the side to allow him more access. A part of her had wanted to just skip the entire formal and go here with him, but she also knew that all she wanted was to spend some time with Finn at the formal. She had dreamed of that moment for so long and it hadn't disappointed in the slightest. A small smirk rose at the corner of her lips at his words and she moved her head to look up into his eyes. "A lot of favors, huh? Well, feel free to make it all up to me as much as you'd like. You have a long time to do it. Well, two weeks. But then... I mean, after that..." She said, her hand moving to his arm for a moment, fingers running along his skin. "The reunion sex will be even better," She teased, leaning up to kiss him and smiling against his lips for a moment before she deepened it in an attempt to get closer to him. Her hand moved to his back to pull him down to her, wanting to make this moment last. "I really, really can't wait to get to experience all of these favors you owe me," She whispered against him, a soft, breathy laugh escaping her lips before she kissed him again.

Finn knew that he would probably be visiting Rachel a lot over the summer but he also knew that he was going to have to start getting himself together as well. There was no way his dad was going to let him stay there too long without getting some kind of job and at least starting to think about his future. He knew his father well enough to know that. Plus, he knew he had to start saving up money if he was going to get a place with Rachel. Finn had no money to his name at the moment and he didn't want to rely on her too much. As he spoke to Rachel, telling her that he owed her a lot of favors, the smirk on her face made him smile. "I mean, I have no issue making it up to you every night," he told her. "Your roommates will be so happy when we're finally gone and in our own place." Finn smirked as he looked down at her and when she pressed her lips back to his, he kissed her eagerly. "You don't have to wait too long to experience them," he breathed out between kisses. He could feel the intensity rising between them as they kissed and he pulled his lips from hers to resume kissing down along her neck. "I could start right now if you want me too," he whispered huskily as he trailed his lips down her chest, his hands moving up to cup her breasts in his hands as he continued kissing down along her body. His eyes were on hers as he shifted lower on the bed and he couldn't help but smile as he watched her every reaction to each kiss and touch that he gave her. Finn gripped her thighs and looked at her with lust in his gaze before he tugged her legs over his shoulders from where he was settled at the end of the bed. "Is this a good favor, baby?" he asked her before he trailed his tongue teasingly along her opening. He quickly found her clit and sucked on it lightly as he looked up at her, knowing that he just wanted to make his girlfriend feel amazing.

Rachel bit down on her bottom lip -- the other girls in the sorority house would definitely get really tired of listening to them every night but then again? Rachel really didn't care too much especially since she was never going to sleep another day in that soririty house once they moved out and started their lives somewhere else. She wasn't exactly prepared for it, but she was more than ready to experience all of this with him once they moved back after the summer was over. "Not too long, huh? Hm. I like this promise," She said teasingly as he started to kiss down her neck again. "I definitely like the idea of you starting now. May as well get them out of the way, right?" She breathed out, a small smile on her lips as she kept her eyes shut. Finn really knew every tiny little thing to get her going and she was obsessed with him. She was obsessed with the way that they knew each other's bodies so well after so long of being together. "Mm," She murmured as he gripped her hips, her letting out a soft breath as she looked down at him. Just the sight alone was a turn on and she really didn't want to let it go. "Fuck," She said, moaning as she let her head fall back against the bed. "Definitely a good favor." She told him, turning her head to the side for a moment. Being with him really would never get old. She'd never get tired of him making her feel like this. Sex with Finn was really some of the best she'd had -- and she knew it was because of their connection. It had to be. "Finn-" She said, her looking down at him and letting out a shaky breath. "Please, babe. I- fuck." She said, losing her train of thought. "I want you." She would be more than willing to just let Finn do whatever he wanted to her -- she was always willing. But she really wanted him and she was sure that he probably wanted the same thing.

Finn loved going down on Rachel. He loved getting to see how good he made her feel and he absolutely loved driving her crazy in the best way possible. He had never been with someone long enough to really know every little thing about their body but with Rachel he did. He knew exactly how to get her going with a small touch or look and he loved that they had really memorized each others bodies so perfectly. When she moaned, he looked up at her with lust in his eyes as he flicked his tongue against her clit, wanting to give her as much pleasure as possible. When she told him that she wanted him, he groaned softly against her. "I guess I can finish that favor another time," he breathed out before he pulled away from her slightly and kissed back up along her body. He brought his hand to her clit and rubbed it teasingly before he positioned himself at her opening. The second he pushed into her, a groan escaped his lips and he bit down on his lips as he started thrusting into her. "Fuck, I love you," he breathed out before he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her passionately. If there was anything that could shut his brain off and just have him focus on one thing, it was having sex with Rachel. He didn't know how it could feel so good but every time they were together it just seemed to get better and his problems felt so far away. "I knew you weren't gonna let me tease you too long," he breathed out as he looked down at her. "Too busy wanting me to fuck you ever since you saw me in that suit." A breathy laugh escaped his lips before he kissed her once more while he continued to thrust into her.

Rachel looked at him, a small smirk pulling up at the side of her lips. "You can always finish that favor, but you know that I'm always gonna not want to let you finish. We have all night, though. You can always finish later," She whispered teasingly as she saw him move back up her body. As soon as he gave them what they both wanted, she let a soft moan escape her lips and she kept her arms wrapped around him gently as she attempted to stay close to him. If she could experience this all night, she knew that she would. She knew that she'd do anything to just never leave the bed all night long. As he spoke, looking down at her, she couldn't help but meet his eyes, a smirk on her lips. "Babe, I never let you tease me for too long. I'd rather have this. Fuck. You. Always," She whispered, her meeting his lips as he leaned down to kiss her again. "I know that you're always gonna want me, too. If we were smart, we would have started before we even went to the formal," She breathed against him, a hand gripping onto his side gently. "But you always want me, right?" She breathed, her lips pressing against his jaw for a moment. "We barely ever keep our hands off of each other," She said before bringing her lips back to his again. "Fuck, I love you. So much. Pretty soon, we're always gonna have this, babe. Every day. Our own place... just you and me," She told him, meeting his eyes for a moment before kissing him once more. It was easy to get lost in the moment like this and it was easy to always want more. Finn and her were something that she really didn't know how to describe -- their relationship always surprised her in the best way possible. "Mm, I'm close, babe." She murmured, her eyes shut as she held onto him gently.

Finn smirked as he looked down at Rachel. "Next year we'll start before the formal then," he told her. "And you know I always want you, baby. I'm always gonna want you." Finn knew that him and Rachel really were addicted to each other. It was what had first brought them together and he knew the sexual chemistry between them was unlike anything he had ever felt with someone before. "Mm, fuck. I can't wait to have this every day," he breathed out between heated kisses. He could feel the intensity rising between them and he knew when they had this every day that it was going to be the best feeling in the world. Finally they would feel like a normal couple who lived together, fooled around and just enjoyed each others company instead of her constantly feeling as though she needed to take care of him because he was a mess. When she told him that she was close, he knew he was right there too and he groaned softly as he felt the pleasure he was feeling get more and more intense. "Fuck, I'm almost there too, baby," he breathed out before he started thrusting into her faster, knowing that they each needed just a little bit more to push them over the edge.

Rachel knew that no matter what was happening or where they were -- this was something that would bring them together and really just allow them to bond. They'd really been having sex since they met. Of course, they'd stopped to try and work things out, but she knew better than anyone that it was impossible for them to stay away from each other. God, she just wanted normalcy. All she wanted was to wake up and feel like she didn't need to worry about him. But she knew that she always would -- it was just too hard not to feel as if a part of her was responsible for ensuring that he was fine. As they continued to move together, she just became lost in her thoughts, hoping that this moment didn't have to end. "Fuck, I love you." She breathed out, her holding onto him as he continued to move against her. She knew she wouldn't last -- between his teasing and the constant desire for him from the beginning of the night, there really was no chance. As she reached her orgasm, she let out a moan of his name, holding onto him tightly as she felt a comfortable warmth take over her. "Fuck," She moaned, moving to meet his lips as she attempted to make this moment last as long as possible. "Mm, as good as that was," She whispered, a soft smile on her lips in between kisses before she continued to speak, "We can take a break, but... we're not sleeping yet." She added, smiling before kissing him again. She pulled away only to let her head rest back against the bed, looking up at him.

Finn groaned softly as he felt himself getting closer to the edge and he knew that he would never get tired of being with Rachel like this. The second he felt her muscles clench around him as she came, he followed her over the edge. It felt so good to feel the pleasure racing through his veins and he knew that being with her like this was the closest he could get to feeling that natural high that made everything else fade away. "Mm, fuck," he breathed out, him smiling against her lips as she kissed him. When she pulled out of the kiss and her let her head rest against the pillow, he looked down at her with love in his gaze. "Oh, no way in hell are we sleeping," he said with a playful smile as he moved to lay beside her, him on his side facing her as he leaned up on his elbow. "We kind of have to take a break regardless. It takes a few minutes before Finn Jr. kicks back into gear," he said with a laugh before he leaned down to press another kiss to her lips. "I love you so much," he breathed out. "I just want this night to last forever."

Rachel couldn't help but laugh gently as he spoke, her turning slightly to look at him as he propped himself up next to her. "Definitely no sleep. But that's okay, we can make up for all the lost sleep another day," She said, a small smirk on her lips. She didn't want to laugh, but at his comment, she laughed louder than she wanted to let herself, her rolling her eyes. "Finn Jr.? What are you, fucking twelve?" She said, laughing and shaking her head. While it was nice to just lay here and relax, it was going to suck having to go back to their regular routine the next day. It would have to happen eventually, but she felt the same as Finn -- she wanted to make this night last. "Mm, I like the sound of that." Leaning up to kiss him softly again, she only let herself pull away after a moment to lay back beside him and sigh gently. "Thanks for tonight. Again. I really mean it. I know we could have done anything tonight but it means a lot that you're willing to go to shit like this with me." Rachel turned onto her side and moved to lean into his side, getting comfortable quickly in his grasp. "How much more comfortable are you in this bed than mine? We have like twenty million feet to spread out and yet we're still going to sit here in the middle of the bed all night," She chuckled softly.

Finn laughed when Rachel asked him if he was twelve. "If I was twelve I'd be calling my dick the destroyer or something like that," he said as he laughed. It felt so good to be so carefree with her and he knew that he needed this with her more than anything. They shared a soft kiss and when she pulled away slowly, he looked into her eyes with love in his gaze. "You really don't have to thank me for tonight, Rach. Thank you for wanting me to be with you and just... being the best girlfriend. At lot of people wouldn't have stayed with me through the shit you stayed with me through and I'm gonna be grateful for that for the rest of my life," he told her. As she turned the conversation to the bed, he laughed softly. "This bed is everything but just because we have all the room in the world doesn't mean I want to be far from you," he said with a small smile on his face. "Especially when we're not even going to sleep tonight. But I do like that we have lots of room for whatever position we want," he said with a smirk on his face. Finn knew that they needed this night so desperately and he truly hoped that this would be the start of normalcy in their relationship after everything they had been through.

[hudson-finn]

Homecoming

Tagging: Finn & Rachel Location: Finn’s parents houses Notes: Finn brings Rachel to meet his parents. Not Finished

Finn couldn't believe he was really bringing Rachel to meet his mom. Hell, a part of him couldn't even believe he was visiting his mom but he figured it was only right now that he was clean. He wanted to show his parents that he was working on getting better even if he knew his mom probably hadn't been thinking much about him at all. Their relationship had always been weird. Ever since he had been old enough to tell the judge which parent he wanted to stay with and chose his dad, she had never been the same towards him. It wasn't that she didn't care because he knew she did in her own way but he knew she had a hard time showing it so much. Her focus was always on herself and whatever boyfriend she had at the time and he figured that was just one of the many reasons that their relationship fell apart. However, now he was bringing Rachel along to meet her and he hoped desperately that it went okay. God, he just hoped his mom played nice because he knew how she could be. "Just letting you know, my mom's boyfriend lives with her and I'm just - I'm not really sure what he's going to be like. She's dating some real fucking losers in the past," he told Rachel as they approached his mom's house. "She already broke up with the last guy she was with who had kids so at least this guy doesn't have a whole fucking family living with her." Finn sighed and shook his head before he looked out the window. "I wish we were visiting your parents again. I mean, I like seeing my dad but my mom just stresses me out," he said softly. When they pulled up at the house, Finn sighed before he got out of the car and once Rachel was beside him, he took her hand in his before heading up to the door. He knocked softly and when his mom opened it up, he forced a small smile. "Hey mom," he greeted. "Don't you look so happy to see me," she said sarcastically before she turned to face Rachel. "And you're Regina, right? I heard you already met Christopher. Because Chris gets to see everyone first, of course." Finn rolled his eyes as his mom spoke and he knew that he already wanted to leave. "Her name is Rachel. And yeah, she met dad first - get over it. I wanted you to meet my girlfriend and I wanted to tell you that I'm clean. I have been for a couple weeks now." Carole stood there for a moment as she looked between them before she smiled softly. "Good. Keep it up. If you had stayed with me after the accident I'm sure you never would have relapsed in the first place. Come in, I made brownies." Finn looked after his mom in slight shock as she walked into the house before he shifted his gaze down to Rachel. "Welcome to my childhood," he whispered in her ear, offering her a small smile before he led her further into the house, following after his mom.

Rachel loved meeting parents. She usually was very good at it, honestly. While her and his dad hadn't exactly gone perfectly, it wasn't exactly a planned meeting -- he had caught her and Finn practically making out on the floor of his house while Finn was struggling to get clean. Rachel wanted to know his family even if he didn't exactly love every bit of it. It was nice that he liked her parents, especially because she knew her parents loved him. At this point, she was pretty positive that her mom would do anything for him. And after her mom found out about his drug use, she knew that sentiment still stood strong. Once they arrived at his mom's house, she shook her head at his words. "Babe, don't worry about it. I'm sure it'll be fine. And if it's not, then we'll just... not stay a long time and we'll deal with it. I think it'll be fine, though. She's your mom. It can't be that bad," She said as she went to take his hand and go to the door. Once his mom opened the door, she kept close to Finn and her smile faltered pretty much the moment that his mom started talking. Rachel didn't even really get a chance to speak before his mom was inviting them in. "I don't even know what to say," She said softly to Finn as she walked next to him and followed his mom into the house. "It's nice to meet you. It's nice to learn more about Finn's life and everything. And... your house is nice. Very home-y." Rachel said, just trying to be polite. Honestly, Rachel really had no idea what to say, but she was trying. She was trying anything at this point. It felt like she really had no idea what to say and she already had a bad taste in her mouth from how she was talking to Finn. Rachel had gotten incredibly overprotective of him ever since he had started to try and get clean and it wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Finn could tell that Rachel hadn't been expecting his mom to be the way that she was, especially when her family was close and normal compared to his. It wasn't like he hated his mom or anything but there was definitely an animosity between them that he was pretty sure would never go away. "Neither do I," he said with a shrug when Rachel told him that she didn't know what to say. As they followed her further into the house and she tried to be nice to his mom, he sighed softly. God, he didn't know why he had bothered to bring Rachel to meet his mom when he knew how the older woman was. "It is very home-y, isn't it? Too bad Finn doesn't think so," Carole said, causing him to roll his eyes. He wanted to make a snippy comment back the way he normally would but he held his tongue since he really just wanted this to be laid back for Rachel's sake. "How've you been, mom?" he asked her, knowing that having her talk about herself was the only way the conversation would end up going anywhere. "I've been wonderful. I started dating this guy named Paul and he's so amazing. I really think he might be the one," she said, nodding her head as she placed a plate of brownies on the table for them. Finn took a seat and gestured for Rachel to sit beside him, him offering her a small smile. "Aren't they all the one when you first start dating them?" he asked her, him shaking his head before he grabbed a brownie and took a bite out of it. His mom narrowed her eyes at him before she moved to sit down across from them. "I hope you and Regina -" "Rachel," he quickly corrected. "Right, Rachel. I hope you both have sleeping arrangements somewhere else. Paul isn't comfortable with the fact that you're an addict and I don't want to make him uneasy if you're staying here. I know you said you're clean but... it can be a little hard to believe you, sweetie." Finn rolled his eyes as he finished off his brownie, him shrugging. "Well, I am clean, mom. If I wasn't, I'd be shooting up right now to escape this conversation," he said bluntly. "Oh, why do you talk like that? That's horrible! I don't even want to think about you doing something like that. You have such a lack of respect for yourself - and a lack of respect for me just for saying something so - so disgusting." Finn just sighed as he ran his hand over his face. "I know you don't want to think about it but it was what was happening so... sorry that's the reality of the situation." There was an awkward moment of silence between them, Finn reaching for another brownie before his mom looked to Rachel. "So... Rachel. Finn never introduced me to anyone before. You must be special," she said with a forced smile on her face. "How did you two meet? You're not an addict too, are you? That would be a relationship set up to fail."

Rachel didn't want to be rude, but she was really trying to force herself to at least respect his mom. The way she was talking to him was horrible and she hated that his mother out of all people that it was acceptable to talk to him like that. Rachel had been around a lot of shitty people before, and she was pretty sure that they never talked to anyone she knew like this. As his mom once again called her the wrong name, Rachel sighed softly as she looked down and picked at a piece of brownie that she was holding onto before eating a small bite. "Don't worry about the sleeping arrangements. Finn's clean. He has been. But you know, we'll go wherever he's comfortable so if we have to we'll get a hotel," She said, looking at his mom for a moment before looking at the brownie she was holding again. As Finn spoke to his mom, she sighed softly before bringing a hand to his arm to rub it softly as a non-verbal way to assure him that she was there for him. "And no, actually. I'm not an addict. I'm in a sorority at school, we met at an event." It wasn't completely the truth, but that was pretty much what had happened. "We met at the event and we.... just hit it off and kept seeing each other, and here we are, so..." She said softly, clearing her throat. "I feel like it's been such a short time but it's really been so long that we've been together. It's kind of crazy," She said, smiling softly as she looked at Finn before finishing off her brownie and sitting back in her chair more fully. "But it's nice. I mean, I bother him with sorority stuff every day and he hasn't left me yet, so I'd say he's a keeper," Rachel teased with a soft laugh as she looked at Finn. She moved her hand to his leg, keeping close to him while she sat next to him.

Finn knew before they even got to his mom's house that Rachel wasn't going to like her. She was a difficult person to get along with since she was so obsessed with herself and he felt bad that someone as sweet and caring as his girlfriend had to attempt and make conversation with her. When Rachel told his mom that they had met at an event, he nodded before he looked at her with a small smile on his face. "It is pretty crazy," he said with a small smile on his face. He had never been in a relationship that felt as serious as this one did and it made him so happy when he thought about how long they had been together already. When she moved her hand to his leg, he smiled as he placed his hand over hers, his thumb rubbing along the back of her palm. "I mean, you put up with me and everything going on," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. "Well that's sweet," Carole said with a small smile on her face as she looked between them. "I don't remember you at the hospital when Finn had his accident,"she said suddenly, causing Finn's smile to falter. "That was in - what was in? Late December? Did she visit, Finn?" Finn raised his eyebrows at his mom before he sighed, him shaking his head. "No. She wasn't there. We weren't talking at the time. She didn't even know about the whole thing until I was staying at dad's house so it's not like she could have visited even if she wanted to." Carole just nodded and forced a small smile. "I'm not trying to be a downer because you two really do seem like a good fit but be careful on how serious you make things. It's only been a few months, you can let things take their time." Finn furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his mom, shocked that she was really trying to play off his relationship. "I've known Rachel since the beginning of the school year and she's my best friend. What the fuck do you even know about a serious relationship?" he said in annoyance. "Don't blow up at me. I'm a mother, I'm just looking out for you. I don't want you to get hurt because you pour all your feelings into one person so quickly. Girls can get bored, especially at your age and especially with all the... challenges that you bring to the table, Finn. You're at a very difficult spot in your life and you need to understand that it doesn't appeal to a lot of people."

Rachel looked at his mom as she spoke and Rachel could feel her annoyance rise immediately. She was really trying so hard to be nice. Incredibly hard. Usually, Rachel was able to hold a conversation and be incredibly fake even if she didn't like the person, but it really was like his mom was just being rude as fuck for no reason. And the fact that she was being rude to her own son was the most disgusting part. If someone was rude to her, Rachel could care less but when it came to Finn, she was crossing the line. If her mom had ever spoke to her like this, Rachel was pretty sure she'd never speak to her ever again. "Yeah. Sorry I didn't visit. You know, it sucks when no one calls you and you're forced to find out almost a month later that the person you loved was in an accident. My number was in his phone. His friends knew he was hurt. No one called me. So don't blame me that I wasn't there for him. Because I would have," Rachel said, trying to calm herself down slightly as to not completely piss off his mom within the first hour of meeting her. Rachel laughed at Carole's words, Rachel shaking her head and looking off to the side before looking back at the woman. "Girls can get bored, huh? Yeah. From what I know about you, it seems you get bored a lot." Rachel knew it was a low blow especially for not really knowing the woman, but Rachel wasn't just going to sit here and take her shit. "If I didn't like the fact that he was in a difficult place in his life, I wouldn't be here. And at least I'm here for him. Supporting him. It seems like you talk big game about wanting him clean but I don't know, I've been with him a long time. I haven't really heard much from you trying to help him." It was stupid to piss off his mom, Rachel knew that. But she couldn't take it and she wasn't going to let Finn just take what his mom was saying. It wasn't right. "If I wanted to leave I would have left. I love him. I'm not going to just... sit back here and pretend it isn't hard, because it is. But that's what happens in relationships. It gets hard. But the thing is... you know, you don't just give up when it gets hard. You work for it. So that's why Finn and I are still here." It was true -- they had really worked through the challenges and she knew it was the reason that they were where they were.

Finn didn't know why his mom was talking the way that she was but he knew he just wanted her to act like a normal person for once. She always had to talk down to him every time he visited her. She had done it to his dad and she did it to him and he wished she could just get over herself and understand that not everyone had to be miserable like her. When she told his mom that it seemed like she got bored a lot, his jaw dropped slightly as he looked at his girlfriend. It amazed him sometimes how protective she was over him but he knew he appreciated. She really often was the only person in his corner and he loved her for the way she supported him. "You're really going to speak like that to me in my own house? You're exactly the kind of girl I knew he'd bring home," she said angrily. "What is that supposed to mean? She's only saying this shit because it's true, mom. You cheated on dad. You have a new boyfriend every other month and you're telling Rachel that she's not ready for a relationship?" he said. "When dad kicked me out, I came here first and you pushed me away. You turned your back on me because of some guy you were dating. Rachel let me in and she - she helped me get myself together again. She is the reason that I'm clean right now and I - I'm not gonna sit here and have you talk about me or her the way you are when you don't know anything about the situation." Finn could feel himself getting angry and he knew he was just so tired of fighting with people. It felt like it was all he really did anymore and he just wanted the constant conflict in his life to disappear. "You're not mad at your father for kicking you out but you're mad at me for not letting you stay here? My ex had his kids staying here, Finn. I wasn't going to let you around them making this environment toxic. That's what you and your father do - make everything toxic," she said loudly, her eyes narrow as she glared at him. "I'm not mad at dad because he set rules for me and I broke them. I betrayed his trust and I understand why he did what he did. You did what you did for a guy - not for me. Don't act like what you did came from the same place as what dad did." Finn sighed before he moved to stand up. "We're gonna go. You met Rachel, you don't need to meet anyone else in my life again. We're gonna go see dad instead because I guess us toxic people like to stick together." Finn held out his hand for Rachel to take, knowing that he just wanted to get the fuck away from his mom. "Fine. Go to your father. Don't coming crying to me when this relationship is over and you're on the street again," Carole said angrily, causing rage to fill him even more as he started heading towards the door with Rachel.

Rachel rolled her eyes slightly as his mom said that she was the exact person that she knew Finn would bring home. She thought it was stupid, really. Rachel felt like she was the only person in his life that actually had the balls to stand up for him and she didn't understand why she had to protect him and stand up for him in front of his own mom -- someone that should love him no matter what he was going through. No matter what challenges he faced. Rachel honestly wished that the older woman could hear herself speak. She continued to worry about her own life and how Finn was affecting her, but she never cared enough to actually help Finn and Rachel just really didn't understand. She knew that if she had a kid, she'd do absolutely everything for them even if they were struggling with something like Finn was struggling with. As Finn stood up, Rachel looked at him for a moment before seeing him outstretch his hand for her. She felt bad for making things get to this point, especially because she knew that a lot of the conflict was due to her not being able to keep her mouth shut. "Finn, I-" She tried, immediately feeling guilty as she took his hand to leave. "Oh, don't worry. I don't think he'll have to come crying to anyone about shit going wrong." She said as she walked with Finn, her letting him lead her out of the house. Rachel wanted to say more. And if Finn hadn't been here and she had just been speaking to his mom, she knew that she probably would snap but she wasn't going to argue with his mom right in front of him more than she already had. As soon as they made it to the door, Rachel looked at him and she felt her heart sink slightly. "I'm so sorry, I- I really can't keep my mouth shut lately and I- I'm sorry. I am. I tried. But-" She started, her voice quiet as she looked at him. "She's your mom. And talking to you like that. People I've hated haven't even talked to me like that before. That's such shit, Finn. You shouldn't have to deal with that."

Finn shook his head the second Rachel told him that she was sorry. "Don't be sorry, you didn't say anything wrong," he said softly. When she told him that his mom shouldn't be talking to him the way she was, he sighed. "I know. But I - I've dealt with this my whole life, Rach. She cares more about herself than she'll ever care about anyone else. Before the drugs it was that she didn't like my friends or that my grades weren't good enough. Nothing is ever good enough for her." Finn walked with Rachel back to the car and once they were inside, he ran his hand through his hair. "Let's just go to my dad's house. I wasn't planning on like... staying here that long anyway but I didn't think it would be that quick. It's whatever, I guess. My dad will have fun hearing us talk shit about her later." Finn knew that his family was a mess. There was no stability with his mom and he knew it was one of the reasons that he had gone so crazy as a teenager. He needed a release - he needed an escape and parties, drugs and all the crazy shit he got into had been that for him. "Do you understand why I was so shocked when I stayed with you over spring break?" he asked her. "Your family is so normal. Your parents are so nice and my family is just... we're just a whole fucking mess." A slight laugh escaped his lips before he shook his head, him looking over at Rachel with love in his eyes. "We got the nightmare part of this weekend trip out of the way pretty quick at least, right? My dad will be way more chill, especially now that I'm clean. When I told him on the phone he sounded really happy so I'm sure he'll be in a good mood when we get there," he said softly as he typed in the address to his dad's house on his phone so she had directions to get there. "That woman is fucking crazy," he breathed out as he looked out the window as they headed towards his father's house, knowing that the faster they got away from his mom, the better.

Rachel felt bad for Finn. She knew it wasn't right to talk bad about his mom because no matter what, it was still his mom and she had raised him. And while Finn didn't have the most amazing childhood, there were still things that he must have liked about his mom. However, Rachel wasn't really sure what those could even be with what he always said about her. "I just- I know that you probably wanted to stay there longer, but you can't let anyone talk to you like that. Even if it's your mom. It's not right, Finn. I- I would never let anyone speak to me like that. And look, Finn. I know that... that my family seems perfect and amazing and I love them, I do. But we're not perfect. My parents are great most of the time and sometimes it's like they're so into themselves and we fight or get into problems over stupid stuff. It's not all of the time, but sometimes it just... doesn't work out. Your family isn't a fucking mess, babe. Every family has problems. Sure, your family might have some problems, but you're probably perfect compared to a lot of families out there." She said as she sat in the car and got her seat belt on and found a good playlist to put on while they drove. Once he got directions, she started driving and she nodded at his words. "I hope this time I actually get to have a good conversation with your dad. I know last time he just was worried about me getting you high so I- I understood why he wasn't amazing to me but I know that things will be better than what just happened." Pausing, Rachel sighed before turning down another street with the directions that Finn had. "I just can't let people talk to you like that. People can talk shit to me however much they want. I've had guys talk such shit about me and I've had girls talk about me and I'll take it and I'll be a bitch right back but I'm not having people talk down to the people I love like that. If someone talked about anyone I care about like that, I would fucking snap. I tried to hold it in, but I can't just sit there like that."

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "No, I know everyone has problems and I know my family isn't as bad as it gets. I've had a roof over my head my whole life so I really can't complain, I guess," he said softly. "You'll have a good conversation with him. He knows you're a good influence on me now so he's not going to be weird or whatever. You met him right when he just found out about everything and he was paranoid that I was trying to get high again. Which, I was, so... he had a reason to be paranoid." When she told him that she couldn't let people talk to him the way his mom had talked to him, he looked at her with a small smile on his face. "Hey, no one can talk to you like that in front of me either. When they say it to me it just doesn't really mean as much." Finn shrugged and looked out the window before a small smirk tugged up at the corner of his lips. "I thought you were about to start throwing hands," he said teasingly as he looked over at her. "I thought I was the aggressive one in the relationship but I guess I was wrong. You'll fucking knock someone out for me. Even my own mom." A laugh escaped his lips as he looked over at her and he knew that while the situation wasn't exactly funny that he couldn't help but laugh. Things had been so difficult for them lately and he knew he just needed a little laughter to keep things lighthearted somehow. "I fucking love you, you know that? You're literally the perfect girl in every way, fighting tendencies and all." Finn smiled as he looked over at Rachel before he reached over to take her hand in his. He was so insanely in love with her and he knew that he was grateful to have her in his corner because without her, he had no idea where the hell he would be.

Rachel looked at Finn and smirked gently for a moment before she averted her eyes back towards the road. "I don't know, I've been getting pretty fired up lately when it comes to shit that happens with you. Like... I don't know. I know she's your mom and everything but if she said anything worse, I would have been fighting." A laugh escaped her lips for a moment before she shook her head. "You know I'd knock anybody out for you. And I know that you would do the same for me, so it evens out," She said as he took her hand in his as she continued to drive. "God, I fucking love you, Finn. And I'll fight anybody for you. Mom, dad, siblings, friends, I don't care. I don't mind standing up for myself. I was always a little... I don't know. Quick to act. But I just got more aggressive in college, I guess. One time at a frat party my freshman year I fought some girl for saying stupid shit to me. I was talking to some guy and we were having a good time and I walked away for two seconds to get a beer and the next thing I knew, she was like in his fucking arms and I was pissed. I was also very drunk. Chloe helped me, you know, not die. A lot of girls suck at fighting and just... pull hair and stuff. I had a couple bruises on my arm but it was whatever. I mean, it was crazy. That was when my crazy bitch mode got activated and it's been on hold until people started fucking with you," She said with a laugh as she looked over at him for a moment. "I didn't want to piss off your mom. But I don't think we'll be getting along. I probably fucked that up but... whatever. I'm sorry. I know you don't really talk to her either but I still feel bad. I just hope your dad likes me a lot more. And I mean, I know he knows that I care about you and want you clean from the last time we met briefly but he hasn't actually spoken to me about my life or... or us. And I really want one of your parents to actually enjoy me and who I am. And I just- I know we're in college but it pisses me off when people say that we'll get over this and whatever. Like... just because we're in college doesn't mean that we can't be serious. I don't know. It makes me angry. I wouldn't be with you this long if I didn't give a fuck about you, you know? People don't know the full story and just assume and I know I shouldn't care, but I do."

Finn smirked as he looked over at Rachel, a laugh escaping his lips as she told him about the first time she had gotten into a fight with someone. "See? You're such a bad ass, babe," he said with a small smile on his face. "I don't exactly want to keep bringing out that side of you because I don't want you pissed off but, I mean, I like that you're protective of me. I've never really had someone like that before." When she told him that she didn't think she'd be getting along with his mom, he laughed softly. "Don't be sorry about that. I don't get along with my mom so I honestly didn't expect the two of you to hit it off. She's just... difficult and she always has been." Finn bit down on his lip as he looked at Rachel and he knew that he felt the same way she did. Their relationship was the real deal and he truly did believe that they could go far together. "My dad is going to like you, Rach. When I talked to him, I told him about you and he knows how much you've helped me, believe me. He knows that you're good for me. Who cares what anyone else thinks or says, right? As long as we're happy, that's all that matters." Finn offered Rachel a small smile as he looked over at her and he knew that he wanted to make her happy. He wanted to make sure that their relationship was worth the sacrifices she made for him. "My dad is different than my mom. I actually get along with him, to start. And he's pretty chill for the most part. The only reason things got so bad that he kicked me out was because we made a deal that if I wasn't clean, I couldn't stay there." He was actually looking forward to Rachel meeting his father and he knew that this was the interaction that was important to him. He wanted them to get along. God, all he wanted was for one of his parents to know Rachel and to see how important she was to him the way that her parents had experienced when he had visited. "Sorry if he gets emotional. This is the first time I'm gonna be seeing him since he kicked me out so I'm not really sure what he's going to say or how he's going to react."

Rachel really hoped that she got along with his dad. She knew that his father was very important to him and while she wished that she had gotten along with his mom too, she couldn't exactly help it. However, she was going to try her best to make sure that his dad loved her because she really didn't want his entire family to hate her. If anything, Rachel was happy that her parents loved him because she couldn't imagine practically every person that was close to them hating each other. "Well, I hope he likes me. It would suck if he didn't. I mean, I just really want someone to like me that's close to you. I'd feel like shit if no one liked me because family is important. And I know how important my parents are to me so I can only imagine what your dad means to you. And I just really hope he can see how I feel about you because I don't want to piss off every person in your family." Rachel sighed for a moment before nodding. "I promise I won't start a fight with your dad. And I'd understand if he got emotional. Babe, do you know how much I've been getting emotional? I don't blame him. You've been doing really well and just... I hope that hearing from your dad will really help you continue with this. You've been doing so well and I know that you're trying so hard. But it'll be really good to hear from your dad and to start to talk to him again. You deserve to have people in your life that love you and want the best for you," She said softly, her squeezing his hand gently as she continued to drive. After a while of driving and following the directions from Finn's phone, she parked in front of his dad's house, looking over at him. "Well, here we are. I hope that things go better here. And I know that I always say this, but I'm proud of you. For everything. You've been doing really amazing and I know that this is hard. Facing your parents. But you're doing so well, babe." She said softly before leaning forward to kiss him. "I love you. Let's go," She murmured softly before kissing him again and moving to get out of the car, her running a hand through her hair and moving to grab his hand once they were out of the car. "I'm sure he's going to be really excited to see you doing well."

Finn smiled softly as Rachel spoke. "He will like you, Rach. And literally everyone close to me likes you. Except my mom but she doesn't even like me. All my friends in Austin love you, it's me that they're not talking to, you know? So please, babe - don't worry." Finn knew that Rachel had absolutely nothing to worry about, especially when he was more than confident in the fact that his dad would absolutely love her. She was such a good influence of him and he knew the older man would easily see that. After a while they finally reached his dad's house and he let out a nervous breath as he looked out the window. He didn't know why he was feeling anxious when he knew his dad would be happy to see him but he figured it was because he didn't want to disappoint him. All he felt like he did anymore was disappoint his dad and he just wanted to show his father that he was really trying, that he was really making an effort to be clean no matter how difficult it was. "I hope things go better here too. Especially since the plan is to stay the night," he said with a laugh. "I love you too, Rach." They shared a soft kiss before getting out of the car and Finn nodded as she spoke, hoping that she was right. Finn led her to the door before he knocked softly and opened it up. "Dad?" he called out as he stepped inside and let the door shut behind them. Finn? Is that you?" his dad said as he moved towards them, a smile on his face the second he saw them. "It's good to see you, son. You look really good - you look clean," he said said happily as he hugged him before pulling away and turning towards Rachel. "It's nice to see you too, Rachel. Now that I know how much you've helped him I want to apologize for your last visit. I wasn't exactly welcoming." Finn smiled at his dad and he immediately felt relieved. "Well, come on in. I was just watching TV," he said as he led the into the living room. "I thought you were coming later tonight so I didn't make dinner or anything. I can order you guys something though. What happened to visiting your mom?" Finn laughed before he shook his head. "What always happens when I visit mom? She basically just told me I was a piece of shit, got in a fight with Rachel and then we left." Chris laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that sounds like your mom. Fucking psycho," he breathed out. "How long have you been clean now?" Finn looked at Rachel for a moment before he looked back to his dad and offered him a small smile. "Um, a little over two weeks now," he said softly. "It's still really hard but Rachel's been helping me a lot and she... you know, she's amazing. She keeps me on top of my shit." Finn knew he was grateful for Rachel and everything that she was doing for him, especially when he knew how hard it was on her. "I'm so proud of you. I know it's hard but wow, I'm really proud. And Rachel - thank you. I'll probably say that a million times while you're here."

Rachel followed Finn up to his dad's door, her looking around at the scenery as she did so. It had been forever since she had been here and back then? It felt like Finn was a completely different person. He was still struggling staying clean and she understood that. Rachel understood that there would be slip ups and he'd struggle with this for a long time, but she wanted to ensure that he was at least on the right track. If this ever went back to full on drug abuse all over again, she really didnt' know if she could continue to try and fix him if he wouldn't help fix himself. As they walked inside, she kept close to him and offered his dad a small smile. "Oh, you don't need to apologize. I completely understand. If it was my kid I would have done the same thing," She said with a soft laugh. "It's good to see you, too." Rachel followed Finn into the living room and she looked around, enjoying seeing the house without feeling as if she'd be interrogated like last time. As his dad thanked her, she smiled gently at him before rubbing Finn's back. "You're welcome. But it's not really me. It's all him, you know? I'm just here trying to support him so he stays on the right track. I've been saying how proud I am of him every day at least twenty times a day." It was true -- she really was so proud of Finn and everything he had done so far. He was struggling, yes, but he was really making moves in the right direction. "I'm just glad that he's getting clean. I can't imagine how hard it is for him and everything but... we're trying. I've just been hanging out with him a lot and trying to stay close to him but he usually yells at me to be my own person instead of babysitting him but... I can't help it. I get worried," She laughed softly before running a hand through her hair. "It's been good, though. It's felt like the longest couple of weeks ever but..." She trailed off, shrugging. "It'll be worth it in the end." She said before rubbing Finn's arm gently while she stood next to him. "I think we're both honestly just excited for the semester to be over. We'll have our families and each other and I won't be running off to class every day."

Finn was glad that his dad was being welcoming to Rachel. He knew he really had no reason to doubt the older man but he was still happy that he was so much easier to deal with than his mom. "I'm glad you're telling him that because I don't think it always holds as much weight when I say it." Finn smiled softly at his dad before he looked back to Rachel. "You do need to still have your own time, Rach. Even though I do appreciate how much you care about me," he told her. "All of this will be worth it in the end. I just want to make sure that I um... I still have a son and we were getting to a point where I was scared I'd be getting a phone call I never want to receive." Finn looked at his dad sadly and watched as the older man sighed and shook his head before forcing a small smile for them. "Well you guys can sit down. Just let me know when you're feeling hungry and I'll order something for us to eat," he said as he moved to sit in his recliner. Finn moved to the couch with Rachel and sat down, him taking her hand in his. "So, this is official now?" his dad asked as he looked between them. "Uh - yeah. Yeah. It's been official for a little while now. I mean, we were basically in a relationship since I went to live with her but, you know... we're official now," he explained to his father before he turned to face Rachel. "I'm really lucky to have her." Finn knew he was so grateful for his girlfriend and he truly didn't know where he would be if he didn't have her in his life. "I can tell. I've never seen you like this with someone before. So, Rachel, all I know is that you go to UA. What are you going to school for?" Christopher asked curiously. Finn was glad that his dad wanted to get to know her better, especially since she was such a big part of his life and would be for a long time - he hoped at least. A part of him didn't know how long she would stay around if he couldn't stick with being clean. He was trying - he was - but he was scared of relapsing and destroying everything they had built together.

Rachel looked at Finn and smiled gently as his dad spoke. She could only imagine dealing with what his dad was. The thought of ever receiving a phone call about something happening to Finn was terrifying. She hated to think that they were honestly close to that point. Once they were sitting on the couch, she kept close to Finn and intertwined their fingers as he took her hand in his. She looked at their hands for a moment before looking up at his dad's question. They really had been official for a long time but neither of them had dared to admit it. "Yeah. It's nice to just... not have to worry about anything now. To just be together and have each other." While they weren't really with anyone else when they weren't official, it still was nice to just be with him and know that they both wanted this. "Oh, well, I'm an education major. I used to tutor and babysit a lot when I was younger so I kind of just... really wanted to do that in the future. And I mean, aside from that... I'm president of my sorority chapter so I deal with teaching girls about philanthropy and stuff all of the time, too. So I'm busy," She laughed, shaking her head for a moment before relaxing next to Finn a bit more. "I just- I'm excited for next school year. I mean, I'll be graduating, but I'll start student teaching. I'm hoping to teach either middle school or elementary school when I'm done. I don't know if I can do high school just yet. I don't want to deal with a teen version of me." Honestly, she'd take whatever she could get, but she was definitely hoping to get into something she really liked. "The thought of decorating a classroom for little kids just... makes me really excited. I don't know. I like school and everything but... I'm so ready to be finished and to have a normal schedule with working and stuff. And one good thing about teaching is that I get the entire summer off. I may not get paid amazingly, but I'll be doing something I want to, which means the most to me. And we're working on getting Finn to do something he really likes once he feels a lot better. The next year is going to be crazy but in a really good way, I hope. A lot of things are changing and I know that we just want to think about the future."

Finn smiled softly as he looked at Rachel while she spoke to his dad. It amazed him sometimes to think about how much she had on her plate and yet she made it seem like nothing. She was such an amazing person and he honestly had no clue how the hell he was lucky enough to be her boyfriend. "Wow, I guess Finn wasn't lying when he said that you practically run the school," his dad said with a laugh. "But teaching is a great job and you'll get good benefits if you stay in Austin. All that matters is that you're doing something you love. When I was your age I was in the Air Force and I did it at first because I was young, had a kid and just wanted something to give my family stability but it ended up being something I really loved." Finn looked from his dad to Rachel before he looked down, wishing that he had some kind of direction career-wise. However, he honestly didn't know if or when that would happen. "I'm not really sure what I'll end up doing but I guess I'll think or something eventually," he said softly as he looked down at his and Rachel's hands that were still linked together. "Well, don't forget, Finn. The Air Force is always an option. You could do two years and then I could get you a great job on base with me. You used to love going to the base when you were little." Finn looked up at his dad and forced a small smile before he shook his head. "I appreciate it dad but I really don't want to join the Air Force. I don't think that's the right move for me. I just - I don't know, I didn't even know what I wanted to do when I was in school. I've never really had any idea what the next step was." Finn knew part of the reason he didn't know what the next step was, was because he didn't think there would be a next step. For a while, he honestly wasn't sure he would make it that far. "Well, what do you like to do? There's always something. I know you and you need something that is constantly changing otherwise you'll get bored." Finn just shrugged as he stared at the floor. "I don't know, dad. I don't want to think about it right now." Sensing the sudden decrease of the mood in the room, Chris looked at Finn worriedly before he simply nodded. "Right. That's fine. No need to think about that right now. At the moment your focus should be staying clean and working on you. But um... so... Rachel - where are you from? I heard you brought Finn to meet your family over Spring Break," his dad said quickly in an effort to make some kind of conversation.

Rachel smiled gently as his dad spoke, happy that he was actually holding a conversation with her and making an effort to get to know her. It would have sucked if they were to have just had the last time they met as the only time because she knew that the meeting was strained at best. He was just interrogating her and she completely understood why. Rachel just stayed quiet for a moment as his father spoke to him, knowing that this definitely wasn't what they should be talking about. Finn was having enough trouble just trying to stay clean let alone thinking about what he was going to do for the rest of his life. "Yeah, we have plenty of time to think about all of that," Rachel said, rubbing Finn's leg with her free hand. Rachel wanted him to concentrate on himself and only him and while that in itself felt impossible, she knew that one day, it would be easier. When Chris very quickly started changing the subject, she offered him a small smile, silently thanking him for changing the subject. "Uhm, I'm from Horseshoe Bay. I've lived there since I was a baby. It's beautiful, but it's definitely that area where everyone has their noses up in the air. My parents have worked really hard for their whole life and everything they bought has been with their hard earned money. So I just- I tried to show Finn that I'm not super stuck up and obnoxious, which I think I proved. My parents really like him, so it was nice to bring him there. I'm hoping that I can steal him away from you for a couple of weeks in the summer so we can spend some time out there together again. It was nice to get away and relax by the pool and just... be away from Austin. I love it here but I really love my home and I hope that we can go back when Finn's really in a good place and we're happy and just... focusing on the future. For everyone." She looked at Finn for a moment before smiling at him and squeezing his hand gently. "You can have him for most of the summer, though. It's just going to be weird, though. I don't think we've thought about what it's going to be like when we're apart for more than a week. We've been together for so long and it's going to be really weird to not be. I don't know." She shrugged before looking back to his dad. "I'm sure it'll be nice to have him home for a bit. And I'll try not to steal him for too long."

Finn looked at Rachel as she talked about her hometown and he couldn't help but feel good as she told his dad that her parents liked him. It amazed him that her parents approved of him - especially when he knew that her mom was aware of his addiction. He was so grateful for how understanding she was and he knew that he understood how amazing Rachel was because of how great her parents were. "Horseshoe Bay is beautiful. I've been there before, actually. That must have been such a nice place to grow up," Chris said with a smile. "And I don't think you seem stuck up and obnoxious and clearly Finn doesn't either." Finn laughed and nodded in agreement with his dad. "Yeah, you are honestly like... the least stuck up person I've ever met. You're so caring for everyone. That's why you're gonna be such a good teacher." As she started talking about the summer, he knew that he was nervous to be away from her but he also knew that there wasn't much they could do about it. She was going home for the summer and he couldn't just follow her forever. He was going to have to figure out what the hell he was doing with his life at some point so that Rachel wasn't the person always supporting him. "The summer is gonna be really weird," he said softly. "Hey, you'll get through it. You'll come back here for a bit and we'll focus on you staying clean and finding something to do and then you'll spend the other half with your girlfriend. You have a good summer ahead of you, Finn," his dad said with a small smile. Finn nodded as he looked at his dad and when a small silence fell over them for a moment, he shifted slightly on the couch as he tried to think of what to say. He knew his dad wanted to talk about serious shit but he also knew that he just wasn't ready to do so just yet. Not when he was so scared of disappointing his father - again. "Why don't I order something for us to eat, huh? I've been using Door Dash almost every day now, it's amazing," his said as he grabbed his phone and tossed it to Finn. "You two order whatever you want, okay? My card is already in there so, get what you want. I'm working late tonight so I'm gonna take a quick nap. Order me whatever and wake me up when it gets here." Finn nodded and looked after his dad as he left the room before he turned towards Rachel slightly. "Sorry if this is a little weird," he said softly. "I can tell he wants to sit me down and have a serious talk but I don't think he knows what to say. And honestly, I don't know what to say either."

[hudson-finn]

But It All Comes Fallin’ Down

Tagging: Finn & Rachel Location: Sorority House Notes: Finn and Rachel are back from Spring Break and the school year resumes once again.

Finn knew that withdrawals were bad. He had been through them after his accident and he hadn't even made it to the other side before he relapsed. Now that he was trying to get clean again, he was terrified that history was going to repeat itself. The first day of him being clean he had managed to hold himself together. While the cold sweats had started and he had been shaky, he hadn't found himself too sick. However, the day after he found himself starting to feel nauseous and while he was trying his best to hold himself together, he knew he was starting to fall apart. As he laid in bed beside Rachel, her asleep, he stared up at the ceiling wide awake while his body practically begged him to put the heroin back in his system. He wanted it more than anything. So much that he could barely do anything else. He wasn't hungry, he couldn't sleep and he couldn't focus and he felt like he was slowly going crazy. Finn could feel his stomach starting to turn and he quickly got out of bed before hurried into the bathroom, relieved that it was unoccupied. He swung the door closed behind him before he collapsed in front of the toilet, him immediately throwing up. Since there was barely anything in his stomach him getting sick seemed to bother him even more than usual as he leaned over the toilet dry heaving. He could feel his whole body shaking and he wasn't sure if it was because he was exhausted or if it was because he was cold from the light sheen of sweat on his body. All he knew was that he hated this and while he knew he had to get through it, a part of him already wanted to give up. A part of him just wanted to get high and make it all go away because he knew that he'd be dealing with this for a while whether he liked it or not.

Rachel was so proud of Finn for actually trying to get clean. She couldn't imagine what it was like for him, especially since she really hadn't ever had to go through anything like this in her life. Rachel never had to give up an addiction in her life but she knew that she'd help him do anything to get through this. The first day wasn't horrible, but she knew he was probably still struggling a lot and she knew that she just wanted to be there to support him. Rachel wanted to do anything to make him feel comfortable and to feel like this would all be worth it. Because yes, while he wanted to get clean, she knew that the struggle could make him change his mind. When Rachel woke up during her sleep suddenly, she moved her arm to the side to feel for Finn, her heart racing when she didn't see him next to her. Rachel immediately got up and she looked at the clock for a moment before she got out of bed and went to look for him, her stopping when she heard some movement in the bathroom. Rachel moved by the door for a moment and she heard someone throwing up, so she quickly decided to try and open the door, relieved to find it open. When she got it open, she saw Finn and immediately moved to shut the door behind him before she moved down next to him. "Hi. Are you okay? I just- I know you're... you're not. But is there... is there anything I can do for you?" She whispered softly, her moving her hand to his back. "Do you want me to get you a warm washcloth? To just... warm you up a little bit? Clean your face off?" She whispered soothingly, her hand moving to rub along his back gently, finding his shirt slightly damp from him sweating. "Just... let me know what I can do for you. If you don't want me to do anything, just... let me know. If you want some alone time, just- that's okay, too."

Finn hated that he didn't only have to fight the mental battle of his addiction but the physical withdrawals as well. He wanted to get high so badly and he knew the only thing stopping him was the face Rachel would have if she found out he was using again. If she found out he had given up so quickly. When the door to the bathroom opened, he glanced up at the door and was relieved when it was Rachel. He knew he shared this bathroom with a lot of the other girls in the house and he really didn't want any of them to know what was going on. "Um, I - I don't know, babe," he breathed out when she asked him if there was anything she could do, his voice weak as he stared down at the toilet, him closing his eyes when she moved her hand to his back. He kept his eyes closed as she spoke, him dry heaving a few more times before he finally seemed to get a chance to breathe. "Can you please get me a washcloth, baby?" he asked her softly as he turned to look at her. "I can't stop shaking. I - I don't know if it's because I'm cold or if it's just my muscles but I can't stop," he told her. "And I - I want you. I don't want to be alone." Finn felt bad because he knew that Rachel had class in the morning. He knew she had to get sleep but he also needed her desperately because if he was being honest with himself, he was terrified. He was scared of the withdrawals and he was scared to be alone because he didn't know if he would do something stupid. "I want it so bad," he told her. "I can't even think about anything else," he breathed out. "I didn't even eat today, I don't know why I'm getting sick. There's nothing left in my stomach." Finn closed his eyes as he leaned over the toilet again, knowing that he just wanted all of this to be over already.

Rachel nodded gently at his words and took in a soft breath. "I think it's probably your muscles, Finn. You- you feel a little warm. I don't know. Once you don't feel as sick we can go back into my room and you can at least be under the blankets a little bit." Rachel went into one of the cabinets and found a stash of extra supplies and found a white washcloth to put some water over, Rachel running a hand through her hair as she waited for the water to warm up a little bit. Once it was warm, she soaked the material before wringing it out and moving back over to him. "You know that I won't leave you," She told him as she went to walk back over to him, her holding the washcloth to his neck for a moment as he spoke, rubbing the cloth against him to at least make him feel slightly refreshed. "Your body has been so dependent on chemicals for so long and every part of your body is just- reacting. Hopefully you won't be as sick tomorrow. I know the idea of food sounds horrible, but maybe you should try and eat some crackers when we go back into my room. Like... saltines or something. Just one at a time. And you haven't really had anything to drink or eat in a while and.... even if you might throw it up you need to get something in your system," She whispered before rubbing the washcloth over his cheek for a moment. "When you feel a little bit less sick, I... I can empty out my plastic trash can in my room so you can maybe get a little more comfortable and warm in my bed and you can just hold my trash can. That way if you get sick you don't need to be in here all night," She told him softly, rubbing the cloth over his neck gently again. "I know that this sucks and that you're craving it but it'll be so much better soon. You'll get over this soon and it'll be easier, I promise. It'll be better soon. I'm sorry you feel like shit, babe. But- but I promise, it'll be better."

Finn knew Rachel wouldn't leave him and he loved her so much for that. He knew he couldn't go through this without her by his side and he was so relieved that she was here for him. When she told him that he needed to get something in his system, he nodded. He knew she was right. He had been running on fumes all day and even if he had something simple like crackers, it would at least give his body some kind of substance. "Okay. I'll try to eat when we get back," he breathed out as she moved the washcloth over his cheek. He nodded when she said that they could go back to her room when he felt a little better so that he didn't have to stay in the bathroom all night long. The last thing he wanted was for any of the other girls to see him like this, especially since he knew it would probably make a lot of the uncomfortable. His eyes fluttered closed as she moved the washcloth over the back of his neck and he bit down on his lip as he tried to focus on breathing slowly to calm his stomach. "I just want it to be over," he whispered. "This is... this is gonna be days. Last time it lasted two weeks before I..." Finn trailed off before he started getting sick once more, him gripping tightly onto the toilet seat as he did so. He didn't know how long he sat there with Rachel but when his stomach finally seemed to calm a bit, he moved away from the toilet and stood up shakily. Finn moved over to the sink to rinse his mouth before he turned to face Rachel. "I just wanna go back to bed with you," he told her, him reaching out to take her hand before heading back to their room. The second they were inside, he moved back into the bed, him laying down and getting under the covers, closing his eyes for a moment as his body continued shaking. "I'm so cold," he breathed out as he opened his eyes once more, hating that he felt so sick, so quickly.

Rachel really wished that she could take away all of Finn's problems, especially because she hated to see him in so much pain. Rachel wished that she could take it all away and make him feel better instantly, but it just wasn't possible. None of the quick and easy fixes were possible. "I know you want it to be over, babe. I know," She whispered softly, her shutting her eyes gently as he started to get sick again. She let the washcloth rest on his neck for a moment as he got sick, her rubbing his back gently. Rachel hated that Finn felt so disgusting and if she could take away some of that and make herself feel it, she knew that she would. "I'm sorry, Finn." She whispered, her continuing to rub his back. Once Finn calmed down slightly, she saw him get up and go to rinse out his mouth. Rachel followed to get up, her rinsing off the washcloth before wringing it out again and holding onto it so she could put it near her laundry. "We can go back to bed, then." She told him, her offering him a small smile as she followed him, making sure that the bathroom looked relatively clean before they both left. Once they were in her room, she shut the door and she went to her small garbage can to empty the trash into a bag before putting the empty can near his side of the bed. "There's a can right here if you need it, okay? If you feel sick, it's right next to your side of the bed," She told him before she went to her closet to grab another blanket to put it over him along with the blankets that were already on him. Once he was covered, Rachel went to her side of the bed and got into it, her moving close to him to try and at least offer some kind of warmth and some kind of support. "How about you just... try and sleep for a little bit. Or just rest if you can't fall asleep. And in a little bit we can try and eat something. If you're not ready to eat, then we can wait but I think you need to," She told him softly, rubbing his side slightly as she laid next to him. "I can also grab some water for you in a minute if you want."

Finn watched as Rachel moved around her room, emptying out her trash can and putting it by his side of the bed. "Thank you, baby," he said softly. When she threw another blanket over him, he shivered slightly, relieved to be back in bed and feeling a bit warmer now that he wasn't in the bathroom. When she got into bed beside him, her moving close to him, he looked at her with love in his gaze. He knew she felt horrible for him and that she would do anything to make him feel better and he just loved her even more for that. She was the most amazing person he had ever known and he knew he was so lucky to have her by his side through all of this. "I'll try to sleep. I haven't slept yet and I want to go to bed but I was just shaking so much. I feel like my whole body is aching," he told her. "I'd rather wait to eat until later. I'm just scared that the second I get something in my system that I'm going to get sick." Finn let his eyes fluttered closed as she ran her hand along his side, knowing that he needed closeness with her more than anything. "Water might be good," he breathed out. "I don't really know what I need." Finn laid with her for a moment, him looking into her eyes and letting out a shaky breath. "I just feel like my mind is racing," he told her. "I want to get high so badly." Finn closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them, him moving to lay on his back as he stared at the ceiling, him gripping the blankets tightly in his hands beneath the covers. "I remember the first week is the worst," he whispered. "I just have to get through this week." Finn wanted to assure himself that he could do it, he wanted to believe that he could be clean and he just needed to get through the next few days before he started feeling a little bit better.

Rachel looked at Finn and nodded sadly. "I know that it might be hard for you to sleep, but just... try and relax even if it feels impossible. I know it probably does, but... just- try. I'll be here when you wake up, too." Rachel really did want to go to class tomorrow and she wanted to be able to just go about her normal schedule, but there was no way that she'd be able to leave Finn when he was like this. How was she supposed to even concentrate in class when he was this bad? Rachel had already emailed one of her professors and told them that she wouldn't be in and to give her assignments to make up for credit because she didn't want to leave Finn on his own. While she trusted that he wouldn't use again at least for right now, she didn't want him to be this sick and to be all alone without anyone tel help him get through it. "I'm sorry, babe. I am. I- I can't imagine how hard this must be but once this week is over, it'll be easier, just like you said. The first week is the worst. After this week it won't be that physical anymore... just all mental. And I know that it'll still suck, but you won't feel so shitty anymore. And you can try and do normal things. It'll be worth it. You'll feel so much healthier," She whispered to him, her rubbing his side gently as she laid with him. "I'll be right here for you all night, I promise. I'm glad I got to sleep for a while and... I might be tired, but I'm more concerned about you. I'm already thinking about tomorrow but we'll worry about that when we get there. We'll try giving you some food and stuff to make you feel a little better and we'll work through all of this, I promise." She breathed out, her leaning in slightly to kiss his shoulder over his shirt, letting her eyes shut for a moment. "DO you feel any warmer or no?" She asked him softly against his skin, her wrapping an arm around him loosely as to not make him sick or uncomfortable.

Finn nodded when Rachel told him that she would be there when he woke up in the morning, him offering her a small smile. He really didn't know how he would do this without her by his side but he also felt bad that she was up in the middle of the night with him when he knew she had classes the next morning. There was so much on her plate with just school and the sorority and he really didn't want to add to the weight that was on her shoulders. When she assured him that after the first week it would be all mental instead of physical, he nodded. "I know, the both of them together is hell but when I can just start focusing on the mental part of things I'll be better," he said softly. He knew the mental battle was really the most difficult aspect of it all because that was the battle that never ended. For his whole life he was going to be dealing with his addiction and while that terrified him, he hoped that he would somehow manage to make it easier on himself. That one day the cravings wouldn't be so intense. "Rach, you don't have to stay up with me all night," he told her. "I love you for taking care of me but please get some sleep tonight. I'll be okay tomorrow... I - I have your bed and my bucket, I'll be okay," he said softly. When she pressed a kiss to his shoulder, he closed his eyes for a moment before they fluttered back open when she spoke. "Yeah, I feel a little warmer," he whispered. He was still shaking slightly and he could feel that he was covered in goosebumps but he really didn't think anything was going to make him any warmer at this point. Plus, he knew in reality his body was probably hot and it was just how he felt internally. "I'm okay, babe, I promise. I just... feel a little restless but I'll be fine. I should have like... bought some weed before I stopped talking to Kevin or something to help me go to sleep." Finn sighed as he shifted in bed slightly, trying to find a position that he was comfortable in. "Go to sleep, Rach," he whispered as he looked into her eyes, him offering her a small smile to try and assure her that he was alright.

Rachel didn't want Finn to have to be awake all night by himself, but it wasn't like he could do anything bad. He had no access to any drugs unless he left the house which she really didn't even think he was capable of at the moment. She wanted to sleep, she did, but she also felt bad. She wanted to make sure that he felt comfortable and loved and not alone. Even if he was telling her to go to sleep, she didn't want him to have to sit awake all night, especially because she was most likely going to wake up in the morning and find him still awake. She hoped that wasn't the case because she knew that he really needed sleep to feel better. "Okay," She said softly as he told her that he was okay, not really believing him. "You'll be okay. You don't need the weed. I know you feel restless but it'll go away soon. I think you should just stay away from anything right now, babe. No weed, no nothing. I know it's not going to really do anything, but you don't need it." She told him softly, seeing him shift to get comfortable. "You know it's going to take me forever to get to sleep because I'm worried about you in case you need me. If- if you need me for something or you need me to get you something, wake me up. And if... if you get thirsty, there's some water bottles under my desk. You can take one if I'm sleeping and can't get one for you. Don't drink it all really fast, just... take little sips so you don't get sick," She breathed out tiredly, her eyes shut as she kept close to him, her head comfortably on her pillow. "Please try and sleep, Finn. I know it feels impossible, but I- you need it." At this point, she knew he'd be passing out from exhaustion if he couldn't actually sleep and that point wasn't too far off. "Just promise you'll wake me up if you need me." Rachel tried to stay awake for as long as she could, but it really felt like it was impossible. After a bit of looking at him to make sure that he was okay, Rachel's eyes shut as she fell asleep quickly, her relaxing next to him and enjoying the feeling of just being close to him. Even if she wasn't really doing much to help him because she really wasn't able to, she hoped that just offering any kind of support was helping him because she was sure that he needed all that he could get.

Finn sighed when Rachel told him that he didn't need weed, that he should stay away from anything for now. He knew she was probably right but he truly had no idea how he was going to sleep if he didn't have something to help him relax. His body was restless, his muscles were aching all over his body and he just wanted to make it stop. A part of him couldn't stop picturing himself shooting up over and over in his head and he knew he wanted to get high so badly. As she spoke, he couldn't help but smile softly at her. "I'll be okay, Rach. It's just a few hours," he assured her. "And I promise - I can get my own water bottle and handle the little things. I love you for wanting to help but I'm alright. I did this to myself." When she asked him to try and sleep, he nodded. He wanted to sleep because it would be an escape from what he was feeling but he just didn't know if he would get comfortable enough to do so. Fuck, he needed some weed, a sleeping pill - something. As he laid with Rachel, he closed his eyes and tried his best to just seem like he was relaxing, knowing that it would help her rest if he seemed okay. When she finally fell asleep, Finn looked at her with love in his eyes before he shifted to lay on his back. The second he started feeling hot, he moved from under the blankets and laid on top of them, hating that his body couldn't decide if he was hot or cold. As the time passed, he sat up on Rachel's bed, him trying to massage his legs that were aching painfully. He leaned his head back against the headboard, him closing his eyes as he tried desperately to get himself to relax. Everything was aching, from his legs, stomach, arms, all the way to his head that was pounding and he truly didn't remember it being this bad the first time. A part of him wondered if it even had been this bad the first time. When he started getting cold again, he moved back under the covers and curled up beneath them to try and get himself warm. He wasn't sure how long he laid there but he finally drifted off to sleep and while it was restless, he was grateful for a little break.

Rachel was insanely glad that she was able to get a lot of rest. A part of her knew that she had to get a lot of school work done tomorrow even if she wasn't going to class. While she was able to watch a couple of recordings of the class, a lot of her work was either reading or taking notes and trying to get her work done, so she knew that she'd be busy. Rachel made a mental note to schedule a couple of online classes next semester just so she was able to spend more time with Finn. Rachel had a lot of self discipline so she could handle the class work outside of the classroom. Plus, she'd still be insanely busy with the sorority so she did need more free time, anyway. When Rachel woke up, she woke up suddenly, her taking in a soft breath when she didn't feel Finn moving next to her. He had been awake for so long that it felt weird to feel him not move so she sat up suddenly, her letting out a heavy breath when she saw him sleeping what seemed to be peacefully. "Thank god," She breathed out softly to herself, happy that he was at least relaxing and finding some kind of rest to help his body. Rachel got up slowly to ensure that she didn't disturb him before walking to the bathroom and brushing her teeth and washing her face to feel a little more awake before she went back into her room, shutting the door gently to not disturb him before she grabbed a water bottle for him and for herself, Rachel putting one on his side and one on hers before sitting back on the bed with her laptop and a textbook to get work done while he was asleep. While she would never normally do work this early, she knew that when he was awake, she was going to want to be there for him so she'd have no time to actually get work done. Rachel put one earbud in to listen to slides that her professor had put online, her taking notes in bed next to Finn to get her work done as quickly as possible. Rachel loved school, she did, but she was grateful to be almost finished and she knew that she wanted things to be finished so she could spend time with Finn and help him feel comfortable especially because she didn't know how he would feel today. She hoped that he'd feel better than yesterday, but she really didn't know what to expect.

Finn managed to get a few hours of sleep and when he woke up, his eyes fluttered open tiredly. He immediately grimaced when he felt how much his body was aching but he was relieved that he didn't feel the nausea that he felt the night before. When his gaze shifted over to Rachel, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He didn't know what time it was but he knew she had class and when he noticed that she was watching her class online and taking notes, he felt his heart ache in his chest. She stayed home to take care of him and while he loved her for it, he felt bad that he was keeping her away from school. She was the most loving and caring person he had ever met and he worried that sometimes she cared too much. Of course he loved her for it but he was also scared that she would put too much focus on him and forget about herself. There was so much going on in her life and while he knew she could handle anything, he didn't want to make anything harder for her. Not wanting to disturb her as she watched her lecture, Finn simply closed his eyes as he laid beside her. His muscles were aching and he could feel himself getting the chills again but he simply ignored it as he listened to her writing her notes. Only when the lecture was over did he let his eyes flutter open, him turning on his side to look at her. "You love me too much," he whispered softly as he looked up at her, him offering her a small smile. "I thought you were going to school today," he said as he moved to sit up, him leaning against the headboard again. Finn tugged the blankets a bit higher as he felt some chills setting in, knowing that he just wanted to feel normal again. "I know you want to be here for me and take care of me but you don't have to stop your life because I'm getting clean, baby," he told her as he looked into her eyes. "I know it's scary but I'm gonna be alright." Finn offered her a small smile before he shivered, him shaking his head as tried to ignore what his body was putting him through. He tapped his foot against the bed restlessly, knowing that even though he only got a few hours of sleep that he still felt so wired and exhausted at the same time.

Rachel jumped slightly when she heard Finn speak as she set her laptop down onto the bed. "You're awake," She breathed out, her looking over at him. "And I'm always going to love you too much, you'll have to get used to it. I was going to go to school today but then I saw you getting sick last night and I was worried that you'd be sick like that today and I wanted to make sure I could help you. I mean- I know that you're still feeling like shit, I'm sure but... obviously, you couldn't sit in the bathroom throwing up all day today so I figured I could at least help you and... I don't know. Clean up after you and get you food and stuff." She said to him, her closing her notebook. "I'm not stopping my life to take care of you, Finn. And yeah, it is scary. It's really scary. But I'm here with you because I want to be with you and I want to make sure you're safe," She said softly, her putting her pen in the ring of her notebook before stacking it on top of her laptop. "I just... I emailed a couple of my professors last night before I fell asleep saying I'd possibly be missing and if they could give me the work to do to still get credit for the class because I was having a family emergency." She told him, clearing her throat slightly. "I- I'm just going to do all of my homework and school work in here today. I might go out of the house just to grab a coffee or some food or something for me and for you if you feel up to eating. Maybe you could get some soup down or something," She told him as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I love you and I- I didn't want you to be here all alone, that's all. I wanted you to feel comfortable and to at least feel like you have someone here with you. You shouldn't have to do all of this alone."

Finn nodded when Rachel told him that she wanted to stay with him because she wanted to make sure he was safe. He knew she wanted to take care of him and he loved her for that so much but it didn't stop him from feeling guilty that he was taking her away from school. When she told him that she had emailed her professors the night before that she was having a family emergency so she could get her classwork, he looked down sadly before he shifted his gaze back to her. "I'm glad they were cool about it," he said softly. "I know some professors are assholes no matter what you tell them." Finn knew that Rachel also had a great reputation and that her professors really had no reason to believe she was lying. Whereas, when he was in school, that definitely was not the case. As she spoke, he could tell that she was feeling a bit nervous and scared and while he wished she didn't feel that way, he also didn't want to make her feel bad that she was experiencing that. "I feel up to eating a little something," he said softly. "I want coffee but it might not be a good idea right now. I read that caffeine can make withdrawals worse. Which, I mean, makes sense because I feel like I'm wired right now. I'm just so antsy, you know? I feel like a little kid that can't sit still." Finn looked at her with love in his eyes before he shifted a bit closer to her. "I love that you love me the way you do," he whispered. "I don't know what I would do without you." Finn smiled at her before he leaned over to press a kiss to her cheek. When he pulled away, he leaned back against the headboard and sighed. "A part of me wants to take a sleeping pill or something and just knock the fuck out for the day. My body can do its thing and then I can just wake up when I feel better." Finn knew he obviously couldn't just ignore what he was feeling and he doubted Rachel would let him take anything more than ibuprofen which he didn't think would have an effect. "My arms and legs have been hurting. It's weird... it's like... pins and needles and aching at the same time," he explained. "Fuck, it's so annoying." Finn reached over for the bottle of water Rachel had gotten for him before he took a few sips, him closing his eyes as he felt something in his stomach for the first time in a while.

Rachel looked at Finn and nodded gently when he said that he'd feel up to eating. "Good. I'm glad you feel up to eating. Even if you can't eat a lot, I can always grab something small for you to eat. I know obviously you're not necessarily sick with a cold or anything, but maybe you'll feel better if you have chicken soup or something. It's so cliche but it just... makes you feel at home. Safe. I don't know." She said softly, shrugging before she looked to him and offered him a small smile. "Well, you might not need any coffee, but I do. I know I've still been sleeping more than you have, but I'm still tired and I do actually have work to get done now today." Rachel stayed resting against the headboard before she turned slightly to put her laptop on her side table to get it out of the way before she sat up more fully. "I know you want to escape it all, and I get that. I don't think taking a sleeping pill is an amazing idea, but... I know it's stupid, but there's like benadryl and stuff for allergies that'll make you drowsy. I just- the thought of you getting dependent on something else to make this feeling go away makes me nervous, you know that. And if you're aching, even if it's not the exact pain it'll treat, you should probably take more Advil. And just... drink as much water as you can. Your body is literally purging itself of everything that has been stuck in your system for so long and it's finally getting used to not having chemicals help it run all of the time," Rachel wished that there was something else she could offer him, but there really wasn't. There wasn't much else that she could do. "I'd offer to do something else for you, but I don't know what else to say." She said softly, sighing after a moment. "I do think I need to just... get up and out for a bit. Maybe tomorrow if you feel a little better we can sit outside for a little bit. So you can get some fresh air," She offered him, moving a hand to run through his hair gently.

Finn smiled softly as Rachel suggested him having chicken noodle soup. "I love chicken noodle soup so I wouldn't complain about that. That makes me think of when I'd be sick and I was staying at my mom's house. She always made chicken noodle soup." When she shot down his idea to take a sleeping pill, he sighed before he nodded. He knew she was right, replacing one drug with another wasn't the point of this whole process. "I don't really think Advil is gonna help, babe," he told her. "But I'll keep drinking water and I'll try and eat today, I promise." Finn knew that if she could, Rachel would make everything he was feeling go away and while he appreciated that, he also wanted her to focus on herself too. "It's okay, babe. There is nothing else to say. I just... I have to go through this whether I like it or not." When she told him that she needed to get up and go out for a bit, he nodded. "I - yeah. I understand. And I'll go for a walk or something tomorrow if I feel better." Finn looked into her eyes as she ran her hand through his hair and he smiled sadly before he looked down at his hands that were folded in his lap. "I kind of want to take a shower. I just... I feel gross from sweating all night long and I just want to get up for a little bit even if I don't feel good. Maybe that will help." He hated feeling so restless and clueless when it came to what to do to feel better and while a part of him just wanted to take the easy way out and get high, he was trying his best not to do that. "Hey, babe?" he said softly as he looked at her. "When you go out for the next few days can you um... can you take my phone with you?" he asked her. "I know I deleted all the numbers but I just... I just don't want the temptation to contact people through anything else." Finn was struggling mentally more than he wanted to admit to Rachel and he knew if she had his phone that he would at least have that barrier keeping him from getting drugs. He knew he could go out and get them if he wanted but it was an extra step that he hoped would prevent him from going out and doing it.

Rachel looked at Finn and nodded sadly. "I know. I just- I wish there was more that I could do for you. I feel useless. I know that you'll tell me I'm not but that's how I feel. Because there's not really anything I can do other than to do minimal things for you," She said softly as she offered him a small, sad smile. "A shower might be good for you. A nice warm shower. You have been sweating for the past couple of days and I know a shower won't fix everything, but it might make you feel a little better even if it's only for a few minutes. I know that when I'm sick a shower makes me feel really amazing for a couple of hours until I feel better." Rachel knew that it wasn't exactly the same because being sick wasn't exactly the same as going through withdrawals. When he looked at her, Rachel just looked back at him. "Hm?" She hummed in acknowledgement. When Finn asked her to take his phone with her, she nodded gently. "Yeah, of course I can. And I know that- that you obviously can still leave the house but I know that you're probably not even up to that right now. I'm happy that you're trying to control your thoughts and stuff. It's nice to see you really trying, babe. Even if it feels impossible." Rachel leaned over to press a kiss to his head before she went to get off of the bed for a moment, stretching to make herself feel a little more awake. "Do you want to get that shower now? If you shower, maybe I can... I can get some food for us. I don't know if I'll go out because I don't want to leave you for that long, but... I'll get some coffee from the Keurig downstairs for myself and I'll get you an easy meal together. Something easy on your stomach so you can try and keep it down for as long as possible. "Whatever you want. If you want to wait, we can do that too."

Finn knew that a shower wouldn't help the symptoms he was experiencing but he knew he'd feel a little better if he was clean and comfortable. "Yeah, a shower is like a little break from being sick," he said softly. When he asked Rachel to take his phone with her when she left the house and she agreed, he smile softly at her. "Thank you. And, I'm definitely not up to going anywhere. I barely want to get up to shower." He was happy that she could tell he was trying because he was - he really was and all he wanted to do was show her that he was serious about getting clean. It was what was best for their relationship and he just wanted to be the best boyfriend for her that he could be. "Yeah, I'm probably gonna shower now," he said softly as he watched her get up from the bed, him still not budging. "And please don't worry about leaving me alone, okay? I'm alright. I'm just gonna be in here all day for the next few days, honestly." Finn smiled sadly at Rachel before he moved to get up, him moving over to her and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'm alright, I promise." He didn't feel good at all if he was being honest. His body ached, his head hurt and he felt incredibly weak but he just didn't want Rachel worrying about him too much. "You get some food, okay? I'm gonna get in the shower." Finn grabbed himself some clean clothes before he headed into the bathroom. The second he was alone, he let out a shaky breath and already he felt like he was freaking out. As annoying as the physical part of withdrawals were, he knew they weren't the worst and while he was complaining about them to Rachel, he knew a part of him was doing so to distract from how much he wanted to just give up and go get high. Finn turned on the shower and let the water warm up before he stepped inside, him running a hand through his hair as the water washed over him. "You can do this" he breathed out as he stood beneath the water, trying desperately to convince himself that this was possible. He wasn't sure how long he stood there but when he was finished showering, he dried off and got dressed before heading back to Rachel's bedroom. "Hey," he said softly as he entered, forcing a small smile before he immediately climbed back into bed, shoving the covers over him as the chills started setting in again.

Rachel didn't know how she was helping Finn, but she hoped that she was at least making him feel comfortable. That was all she could do at this point. As Finn went into the bathroom to get a shower, Rachel went downstairs to grab some coffee for herself and tried to make something for Finn to eat while also getting something for herself. Rachel wasn't starving, but she knew that she needed to eat and she also knew that Finn needed to force himself to eat even if he didn't want to. After getting her coffee in a mug and some food for the two of them, she went back up to her room and put the stuff down on her dresser to wait for Finn. She was sipping her coffee as she looked at herself in the mirror, running a hand through her hair to at least make herself look a little more presentable. "Hi," She said softly in return as she saw him walk inside, immediately going back to the bed to cover himself up. "I know you're not like... drenched in sweat every night but maybe tomorrow, I can change the sheets so they're fresh. I need to do laundry anyway and I have extra sheets so I can make it right away so you can get inside of them and get comfortable and not have to wait hours for everything to be clean." A few moments later, Rachel grabbed the food for her and Finn before going to the bed to share with him as she tried to enjoy the rest of her day with him. All Rachel wanted was for Finn to get better and for him to at least not feel so horrible. As the days passed, Finn wasn't making huge improvements and she didn't expect him to. She knew that this was a long process. It wasn't like he could get better in a day -- she knew he probably would feel horrible for weeks and while Rachel was able to take off some days for school, she knew that after this weekend, she couldn't continue to fake a family emergency. "I'm glad it's the weekend. I know that I've been home most of the week so it's felt like a weekend, anyway but it'll suck to leave you next week. Because you know I'll worry," She told him as she pulled a pair of leggings on and fixed her bra strap on correctly. as she grabbed onto her t-shirt. "But it'll be good to get back into my routine," She said as she slid a shirt on. "But I-" She said, her cutting off her words as she saw the door open, her mom appearing in the doorway. "Mom?" She managed out, her looking to Finn for a moment before looking to her mom again. "What are you doing here? Y-you always call me before you come." Rachel didn't know how she was speaking, but she was trying to make words. "Chloe let me up here. She told me you were studying." She said before looking to Finn and then back to Rachel, her eyebrow raising slightly.

Finn loved that Rachel was taking care of him but he still felt bad that she had been staying home from classes to sit with him all day long. While she never really expressed it, he knew it was hard for her to deal with this and he just wanted to get through it so that things could go back to normal. As the days went on, he felt a little better but he knew he still wasn't great yet. While he had stopped getting sick, he was still dealing with full body aches and the chills. Plus, he just hadn't been too hungry and while he knew that was normal, it only made him feel more sickly. "I know you're going to worry about me but I promise that I'm okay. I'm not throwing up anymore and I'm feeling a little better for the most part," he said softly as he tugged on a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, him tossing his clothes from the night before in the hamper. Finn moved back to the bed and sighed as he leaned back against the headboard, knowing that he was going to spend yet another day practically trapped in their bedroom. He really did hope that he started feeling better soon because more than anything he wanted to start living his life again. As she spoke about being happy for the weekend, he nodded and offered her a small smile. Before she could finish speaking, however, the door to the bedroom opened and when he saw her mom on the other side, he was pretty sure his entire face turned white. He exchanged a look with Rachel before looking back to her mom and he knew he couldn't believe that this was happening. Her mom wasn't supposed to know that he was living with her and while they could lie, it wasn't like he could leave them be when he had nowhere else to go. "Um... hi Mrs. Berry. It's good to see you," he said softly, him forcing a small smile as he looked at the older woman. "I'm sick," he said quickly. He knew he looked like shit and he hoped he could somehow convince Shelby he was only staying with Rachel for that reason. "Rachel has been taking care of me while I've been sick and letting me stay here."

Rachel really didn't know what to say. Rachel wasn't even sure she knew how to speak right now. It felt like everything was happening so quickly and honestly, this was all impossible in her mind. Rachel never wanted her mom to find out about Finn living here with her. While she had told her mom that her and Finn had talked about living together in the future, she had never told her mom that Finn was living with her and her and Finn had agreed to not say anything about it. As Finn made the comment that he was sick and that she was taking care of him, she nodded. "Y-yeah. He's been really sick, so I've been trying to help him. I told him he should have gotten the flu shot," She said, managing a slightly fake laugh before running a hand through her hair. Rachel saw her mom's vision move to the floor by Rachel's feet, seeing a small pile of their clothes on the ground. Rachel moved her one foot to push the clothes under her bed slightly. "Don't you think he would have been more comfortable in his own bed?"Her mom asked, looking at Rachel knowingly. Rachel had never been able to lie to her mom. It was honestly a miracle that she hadn't told her mom about Finn and his addiction yet. "Yeah, I mean... I-It's just more convenient, you know? That way when I come home from class I can help him. He's been taking advantage of the sorority dinners so he's being fed well while he's sick. Helping him get better, you know?" She added, looking at her mom.

Finn nodded when Rachel said that he should have gotten the flu shot. "Yeah, I bragged about how I never get sick and didn't need it and now look at me," he said with a nervous laugh. He couldn't believe that this was happening and he could already feel the good graces he had been in with her mom slipping away. Finn knew how bad this looked. That he was mooching off of her and living with her at the sorority house when he definitely wasn't supposed to be there. He looked like such a loser and he didn't know how to possibly spin this in their favor. When her mom asked if he would be more comfortable in his own bed, Finn looked down for a moment. Fuck, she definitely knew. "Yeah, Rachel wouldn't let me not stay with her when she's sick anyway. She always um - she's always taking care of me," he said softly. When he felt a wave of chills start to wash over him, Finn pulled the blankets over him and he tried to act normal but he knew it wasn't possible. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Berry. I didn't mean to interrupt you visiting Rachel. I just - um... I just stopped getting sick today so I'll um... I'll leave tomorrow probably," he said. "I just figured I'd stay until I got better." Finn avoided her gaze as he looked down at the blankets and he could feel his heart racing in his chest. He hated the level of anxiety he was feeling on top of his withdrawals and once again he could feel himself starting to want to get high more and more. "Do you want me to give you some time alone?" he asked Rachel. "I could um - I could take a shower or something and just... give you guys time to talk," he said softly. "Maybe even a bath. I don't feel good and baths are always good," he added, wishing he knew how to stop talking when he felt the level of anxiety that he was experiencing.

Rachel knew that Finn was quickly growing more and more overwhelmed. She felt bad, she did, because she knew that he was already thinking about a lot and she didn't want to make him feel worse. While she was here with him, she did everything in her power to make him as comfortable as possible and she didn't want to make him feel as if he was a burden at all. "Yeah," She added, looking at Finn. "I always want him here, anyway. So it's like... a really long sleepover while he's sick. I've been taking a lot of vitamin C." Obviously, she knew that her and Finn probably sounded like assholes, but she was trying to make things sound normal and like this was all just temporary but she knew by the gaze in her mom's eye that she didn't believe her. When Finn offered them time alone, Rachel looked to him before moving a little closer to him. "Uh, yeah. But we'll go downstairs. I want to show her some new sorority stuff anyway, so you can... just get comfortable." Rachel leaned over to kiss his cheek slightly before hovering near him for a moment. "Relax. I've got it. I'll talk to her," She whispered softly before pulling away and looking to her mom. "Mom, you wanna go downstairs? I can show you the year's plaque. I'm moving up in the world, I have the big photo for being president now. They put it next to yours," She said with a smile, her mom smiling gently and nodding before looking to Finn. "It's really good to see you, Finn. And I hope you feel better soon. I know how horrible it is to be sick for so long,"She said, Rachel glad that she was at least pretending to go along with the story for now. "I'll be back." Rachel said to Finn before going downstairs with her mom to show her the photo of the two of them that was hung on the wall in the hallway. "It's really cool. They surprised me with it at the beginning of the semester." Her mom nodded and looked at the photo for a moment. "It's really nice, Rachel. I'm proud of you. You're doing a lot really quickly," She said before turning more towards Rachel. "Do you want to tell me what's actually going on or are you and Finn going to continue to feign that his random fake flu is the reason he's here?" She asked, Rachel feeling the emotion that she always held back start to build. "Mom, please. Can we not do this? I- I really can't do this right now. Especially not here."

Finn had a bad feeling that Rachel's mom didn't believe their story and he couldn't help but feel himself starting to worry. What if her mom wanted him to leave? He figured since he was clean that his dad would take him back but he honestly didn't know if he would be able to stay sober without Rachel's support. She was always there for him and the only person he could really talk to and he knew if he didn't have her - especially so early in the process of him getting clean - that he wouldn't be able to do it. When Rachel said that her and her mom would go downstairs since she wanted to show her something, Finn nodded and forced a small smile. He tried to calm down when she pressed a kiss to his cheek and told him to calm down but he knew it was easier said than done. "Okay," he breathed out. "I love you." Finn offered her a small smile before she headed out of the room and he immediately laid down and curled up beneath the blankets. His eyes fluttered closed as a chill rushed through him and he tried desperately to stop the anxiety that was running through his brain. He knew that anxiety naturally came along with withdrawals but this was pushing it to another level. "You don't need it," he whispered to himself as he tried to push away the invasive thoughts that wanted to push him to use again. He knew getting the drugs would be easy if he wanted them but he had to find a way to ignore it. He had to make sure he was the type of guy that Rachel's mom wouldn't hate to be with her daughter. Finn had absolutely no idea what they were talking about but he knew if Rachel came back and started to see what a burden he was on her because of her mom, that his heart was going to be broken.

Rachel didn't want her mom to dig into every detail of her and Finn's life. She didn't want her mom thinking about Finn and trying to guess what was wrong with him because Rachel didn't want to let her mom know everything about what he was going through. Plus, this was his life -- it was none of her mom's business. However, Rachel knew that she also needed her mom. It really was hard doing all of this on her own and she needed some kind of support system to help her. Rachel needed anything to get her through all of this because she felt like she was going insane. Rachel moved with her mom towards the living room area and Rachel was glad when she didn't see any of the other girls around. "Mom, I-" Rachel started, her mom already starting to speak. "I saw you, you know. That night at the house when you came home really late at night." Her mom said quietly, running a hand over Rachel's back gently. "Him barely holding himself up. I could tell you were trying to be quiet, but... well... you weren't exactly that quiet. Is this a result of that?" Rachel looked at her mom before looking down, running a hand through her hair and taking in a shaky breath. "I- He was just drunk." Rachel breathed out, avoiding eye contact. "Rachel." Her mom said, Rachel just bringing her hands to cover her face as she stayed facing away from her mom. "I promised Finn that I wouldn't tell anyone anything. I-" She said before looking to her mom with tears in her eyes. Rachel really didn't want this happening, but she knew it was basically impossible. "Rachel, you-" "Just don't tell dad. Please," Rachel breathed, her mom nodding gently. "It's not my place to say anything, anyway. Relax, Rachel. I can't imagine going through what you are but you need to take time for yourself." Her mom said, Rachel nodding gently. "I know you don't want to leave him, I can tell. But while I'm here, we can get you out of the house for a little bit and get food. We can grab something to take home to Finn, maybe." After a few more minutes of talking, Rachel went back upstairs with her mom to her room, seeing Finn back in bed. Rachel moved over to sit next to him on the bed for a moment, running a hand through his hair. "Hey, babe." She whispered softly, offering him a tiny smile. Rachel really didn't want him to think anything was wrong, especially because things really weren't bad. Things were fine. "I think my mom and I are going to go out for lunch. We'd offer for you to come with us, but... I don't know if you're up for it. My mom offered to bring you something home. If there's anything you want or need from the store, we can pick that up too," Rachel offered, smiling at him gently. "And Finn," Her mom started, standing near the foot of the bed. "I'm happy you're here with Rachel. For everything you're doing. Don't worry about anything, okay?" Rachel could tell that her mom was trying to dodge around what she was actually trying to say but Rachel was grateful for it. "I told you that things are fine. And I- I love you, okay?" Rachel said softly, knowing that she meant every word. "My mom says that I need to get out of the house and I kind of agree with her, but... we won't be gone long. Promise me that you'll try and rest a little bit."

Finn wasn't sure how long he was laying in Rachel's bed but when she came back upstairs, he felt his heart still racing in his chest. "Hey," he said softly as he looked up at her, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment as she ran her hand through his hair. When she told him that her mom was going to take her out to lunch, he nodded and offered her a small smile. "No yeah, that sounds nice. I'm not really up for it but if you brought something back I wouldn't complain." When Rachel's mom spoke, Finn sat up slightly to look over at her. He felt himself relax slightly when she told him that he was happy he was with Rachel and to not worry about anything. A part of him wasn't exactly sure what she was talking about but he was happy for the reassurance anyway. He figured he'd get the details later from his girlfriend. "I - thank you. I'm grateful for your daughter being in my life. More than anything," he said softly. He turned back to Rachel when she spoke, him settling back into bed and he nodded. "I love you too. And I promise I'll get some rest. You do need to get out of the house - I told you that," he whispered, a small smile on his face as he looked into her eyes. "You love me too much." Once Rachel and her mom left and he was on his own, Finn moved to sit up, him leaning back against the headboard and sighing as he looked around the room. He reached for his phone when he noticed Rachel had forgotten to take it with her and he bit down on his lip as he scrolled through his contacts for a moment. Before he even knew what he was doing, he had his phone to his hear, him listening to the soft ringing on the other line, hoping desperately for an answer. Hello?" The second Finn heard his dad's voice, he felt a knot form in his throat and his eyes start burning with tears and he truly hadn't realized how much he had needed to speak to the older man. It had been months and Finn missed him. "Dad?" he breathed out softly. "Finn? I - how are you? I heard from Jamie a few months ago that you were staying with that girl Rachel," his dad said quickly, clearly relieved to be hearing from him. "I'm getting clean dad. I just - I just started. This is day four," he told him. "I didn't want to talk to you until I was and I just - I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for this whole mess that I'm putting you through a-and I've been putting Rachel through," he breathed out, his voice shaking as he tried to hold himself together. "Finn, stop. Please. It's okay. And I'm proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I miss you. I don't know if kicking you out was the right answer. I've been reading so many books about addiction and going to meetings to try and figure out what to do and I-" Finn stopped his dad mid-sentence. "You did the right thing," he breathed out shakily. "You made me leave and that led me to Rachel and that's why things are okay now. That's why I'm gonna be alright." Finn spoke with his dad for a little while longer, him telling his father about his relationship with Rachel and what his goals were before he got off the phone. He was scared to be so fragile and he was scared about it hurting all of his relationships from his dad to Rachel but he hoped desperately that they would stick by him because he was going to make sure it was all worth it one day. Finn laid back down in bed as he waited for Rachel to get home, him trying to get some kind of sleep while he was feeling a bit better physically than normal.

Rachel took Rachel to a cafe near campus, sitting down with some coffee. Rachel saw her mom bring over some food and she offered her mom a small smile. "Thank you." She said softly, beginning to eat her food quickly. "I'm glad to be out of the house, but I worry about Finn a lot so I like to be home with him." Rachel said before grabbing her coffee and taking a long sip. "I'll have to bring back Finn some food. Maybe even a tea or something to help him warm up. He's had the chills a lot so I've been just... trying to get him to take warm showers and cover him up a lot. I know that it's not really because he's cold and stuff but I-" Rachel's mom nodded and looked down for a moment as she continued to eat. "I know you promised to not tell anyone anything, but... everything is fine, right? I mean, it's not. Obviously. But- was it something really serious? I know you're being safe but... I know college kids, Rachel. I was also in college. I dealt with frat boys. I know everything isn't perfect and clean and proper." Rachel cleared her throat and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You just can't tell anyone anything. And I'd love if you don't tell Finn that I told you anything because he doesn't want everyone knowing. But I just... need someone to support me. I'm so tired, you know? I love him and I- I want to help him but I'm so scared of losing him. He... he's everything to me. And he's getting clean and he's doing the right thing and that's all that matters to me. It doesn't matter what kid of drugs it is because he's getting clean and that's all that matters. He's really trying. It's been days now and he's still really sick but he's better than he was, even if it doesn't look like it." Rachel took a sip of her drink before looking out the window for a moment. "I really didn't want you to know. Finn didn't want you to know. He just- he was scared that you'd judge him and hate him because he had problems. I told him that you wouldn't care. Because he loves me, you know? He's really trying to be a better man. And he wants.... a future. He wants to be better. And-" Her mom cut her off, Rachel quickly shutting her mouth. "Rachel. Relax. You don't need to justify everything to me. And you're right, I don't need to know all of the details, but I appreciate you talking to me. I do. And you're right, it's not going to change my mind about how I feel about him. He looks at you like he wants the world for you and he probably feels like shit. But it's going to be fine, you know? You're such an amazing girl, Rachel. He's lucky to have you." After her mom and her talked for a while longer, they went to go grab Finn some food before they went back to the sorority house, Rachel going into her and Finn's room. She knocked for a moment before walking in with her mom, her mom carrying a drink for him and Rachel carrying the food. When she saw him quiet in bed, she walked over to him and ran a hand over his cheek to rouse him slightly from his sleep. It had been a while and while she normally wouldn't want to wake him up, she wanted to make sure that he was eating and drinking because he wasn't doing too much of that because he hadn't been feeling amazing. "Hey, babe." She said, her smiling softly and holding up a bag of food near him. "I got you some food. My mom has a drink for you, if you want it. If you don't want it right now, we can save it for later," She offered, smiling gently. "My mom probably is just... going to stick around for a little bit and then she's gonna head out. She wanted to just stop by to see me for a little bit and she wants to make sure that you're resting."

Finn woke up when he felt Rachel's hand on his cheek, him groaning softly as his eyes fluttered open. "Hi," he said softly as he looked up at her before he moved to sit up against the headboard, him rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Oh - thank you. I'll try and eat and have a drink. I haven't really had a meal in four days so I should probably try something." Finn managed a small smile as he looked over at Rachel's mom. He was glad that she seemed okay with him and he knew he didn't mind her hanging around, he just wished it had been when he was totally better. When Shelby handed him his drink, Finn reached out to grab it, him offering her a small smile as he accepted it. However, when he saw her gaze flicker down to his arm and the marks all over it, he quickly moved the drink closer to his chest. "Hey, Rach? Could you grab my hoodie?" he asked her softly. "I'm just - um - I'm getting kind of cold again." Finn was actually feeling pretty warm if he was being honest but he didn't want Shelby to get a better look at his arm. He didn't want her to suspect anything or know what was going on because he knew she wouldn't see him as someone good enough for her daughter. Once he pulled his hoodie over his head, he took a small sip of his drink before he started to eat. He picked at his food slightly and ate it very slowly but he was trying his best to finish it since he knew that was what his body needed. "I talked to my dad while you were gone," he told Rachel, his voice softly. "He told me to say that he says hi and that he'd want us to visit soon." Finn knew he'd tell her more about the phone call later but he wanted her to know that he had finally spoken to his father and he couldn't help but feel a small weight off his shoulders now that his dad knew things were getting better.

Rachel looked at Finn with a smile and looked at him as he took the drink from her mom. As he asked her to grab his sweatshirt, Rachel nodded and went to grab it across the room before going to hand it to him. She knew what he was doing but she just didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. It was going to be a little rough to tell Finn that she had told her mom about everything, but then again, she really hadn't given her that many details. She hadn't told her every little thing that they were going through and she knew that she needed to tell Finn that her mom knew so he didn't worry around her all of the time. "Oh, you did?" She asked with a small smile as he said that he spoke with his dad. "We'll have to see him when you feel a little better. I have a few free weekends coming up so we can head over there for a couple of days or something. It's good that you talked to him." Rachel looked to her mom for a moment and her mom offered her a small smile. "If you guys ever want out of Austin, you're always welcome over at our house. Your dad and I get lonely, anyway. Hopefully you'll be able to stay with us again in the summer for a little. You're welcome as long as you want." Rachel was glad that her mom was being nice and accepting, especially because she knew that Finn meant everything to her and she wasn't going to just give him up or walk away because he was using or he had some problems with drugs. "We're only an hour away. We can always come down here to have dinner sometimes, too. I remember the days of horrible college food," Shelby laughed. "Anyway, I'm not going to stay and bother you guys too much, especially if you don't feel good. I just wanted to come by to have lunch and spend some time with you, Rachel. We can plan dinner one night or something."

Finn nodded when Rachel said that they would have to visit his dad when he felt better. "Yeah, that sounds good. We could even stop at my mom's place on the way so you can meet her too." He smiled softly when Shelby said that they could go to her home whenever they wanted and he knew that he was grateful that her parents liked him. While he had been in relationships before, he had never been in anything serious and he wanted more than anything to be accepted by Rachel's family. "I'd love to stay with you guys again. That whole week was amazing. Um - staying over the summer for a bit would be cool." Finn looked back at his food for a moment and continued eating, making it halfway through before his stomach started feeling uncomfortably good and he set it on the end table. "You're not bothering us, Mrs. Berry. I'm sorry I don't feel good right now. Next time you visit I'll be a lot more fun to be around," he said softly. Finn knew that this visit had been a bit short for Shelby but he was glad she had gotten to see Rachel and he was happy his girlfriend and gotten out of the house for a bit. He knew she worried about him and wanted to take care of him but he wanted her to take care of herself too. He wanted her to be happy too. "Thank you so much for the food. It feels good to actually have something in my stomach. I think this is the first time I've really been able to hold anything down."

Rachel loved that her mom loved Finn as much as she did. Honestly, she knew that things were weird right now, especially with his addiction, but she knew that it didn't define him. His addiction didn't define him. One day, he'd be fine and he'd be normal and while he would always be struggling a bit mentally, she knew that things would be so much better. "Yeah. We can go back home for a while during the summer. We have a lot of plans for the summer, but you know, we're definitely going to spend some time at the house. A week was nice, but it wasn't long enough. I think we need more time there. I mean, we did everything we wanted to do for the most part, but we rushed everything a lot," Rachel said with a soft laugh. "Oh, you're welcome, Finn. Any time. I'm glad to have given you something to get some good food in your stomach. I know Rachel isn't the best cook so, I mean, we've gotta get you an actual mean every once in a while." Rachel looked at her mom and rolled her eyes. "You're not fair. I feed him fine. That's what the sorority catering is for," Rachel laughed before sitting up a little straighter and sighing softly. "Anyway, mom, I'll text you about meeting up and everything soon. We definitely can do dinner with dad if you want and I'm not speaking for Finn, but I'm sure that he'll come too if it's in a few weeks," She told her mom, Shelby nodding. "That's fine. I'm going to get home to your dad and get dinner ready. I'll stop at the grocery store on the way home." Rachel got up off of the bed before walking over to hug her, her mom hugging her back tightly for a moment before looking to Finn. "It was really nice to see you, Finn. And I'm really happy that she's helping you feel better. If you need anything, have Rachel call me. Or you can call me. Whatever you need. And I'll see you guys soon, okay?" Rachel smiled before helping her mom out of the sorority house and saying goodbye before walking back upstairs to Finn who was still in bed. "Hi again," Rachel said with a soft laugh as she shut the door. "Don't feel bad about my mom only staying a few hours, okay? She just came for lunch. So don't feel bad about it. And she's happy that you're here even if she totally knows you're living here. She's happy that... you're okay. And that we're okay."

Finn laughed softly when Shelby said that she knew Rachel wasn't the best cook. "To be fair, I can't really cook either so we're both kind of screwed in that category." He watched as Rachel started saying her goodbyes to her mom and he nodded when she mentioned having dinner with her parents in a few weeks. "That would be awesome," he said softly. "It was good to see you too, Mrs. Berry. See you soon." Finn watched as the two of them walked out of the room before he pulled off his sweatshirt, knowing that if he had kept it on any longer that he would have started sweating like crazy. God, he hated the fucking chills. When Rachel walked back into the room moments later, he smiled at her. "Hey you," he said, him simply nodding as she spoke. "I guess it was kind of obvious I'm living here. And I mean, I feel bad but I'm happy that you got to get out of the house and spend some time with her. You've been cooped up with me for four days and you needed that." Finn shifted his gaze downwards for a moment before he looked back to Rachel. "Did she believe that I was sick?" he asked her softly. "I felt like she seemed kind of suspicious earlier and I wasn't sure if it was because of the living situation or the whole sick thing but I'm glad she doesn't care about us staying together." Finn was still worried about her parents not thinking that he was good for her but he knew that was exactly why he wanted to get his shit together. He wanted to be good for Rachel and he wanted to be the kind of guy that she didn't have to hide parts of from her parents. All he wanted to do was stop the lying and sneaking around and just be himself for the first time in a long time.

Rachel looked at Finn as she walked back into the room and offered him a small smile. "No, it's fine. You know that my mom is really chill about a lot of stuff, so it's... it's fine," She said before moving back to her side of the bed to sit against the headboard. "She's just... a mom. She freaks out about stupid stuff but then actually doesn't make that big a deal of all of it, I guess. She's happy that we're together. And I mean, maybe she's not thrilled about us living together in the sorority house, but... she's happy that we're happy, I guess." Rachel shrugged and she looked down for a moment. "I mean, Finn, she... knows. About everything. She- She saw you when we were at my house in Horseshoe Bay and we came home from the party and everything. I didn't really tell her anything she just kind of... guessed about things happening." Rachel paused for a moment and played with the fabric of her pants for a moment. "She's happy that you're... getting better. I promised you that I wouldn't tell her anything and I- I didn't. She just knew. And she's not mad or upset, she's just happy that we're okay and that you're okay. I told you a long time ago that you wouldn't have to worry about my parents judging you or anything. They're pretty chill about a lot of things and obviously you don't want my parents knowing every detail and I promise I won't tell them, but... yeah. My dad doesn't know, though. About anything, I don't think. My mom just knows me and she could tell I was overwhelmed and tired and she's just some fucking mind reader or something. But I don't want you to worry about anything other than concentrating on you and your health. I don't want you worrying or getting stressed out about stuff like this when everything is fine, you know?"

Finn looked at Rachel in shock when she told him that her mom knew about everything. That she had witnessed him high off his ass when Rachel had brought him home from her friends party back at her parents house. "She saw me?" he breathed out. Finn immediately felt ashamed of himself because he knew how difficult that night had been on Rachel and he couldn't believe her mom saw that. He knew how bad it had probably looked and he felt horrible because he knew it wasn't the first time and he was sure she had figured that out as well. "Your parents are really cool about everything but I don't think any parents would be like... actually happy about the fact that their child is dating an addict," he said softly. Despite Rachel assuring him that everything was fine, he knew he would still be worried about it. He wanted to be good for her and he knew from the outside looking in that it didn't appear he was. "Yeah... everything is fine," he repeated softly, him forcing a small smile before he looked down at his hands that were folded on his lap. "I guess I should just be happy that she doesn't know what I've been using because I'm sure it would change her mind." Finn sighed before he turned to face Rachel, his gaze meeting hers. "I'm glad you got to get out for a little bit. I know that this is hard on you - all of it and I just... I hope you know how much I appreciate you being here for me. I hope your mom coming helped remind you that you need to get out a little bit and not keep an eye on me because I promise I'm alright here alone sometimes."

Rachel shook her head gently as she looked at him. "I know what you're talking about. I mean, my mom wouldn't be like... happy that you're doing drugs, Finn. Obviously. But she's just- she's happy that you're getting better. She can tell that you're not sick, Finn. I mean, she's a mom. She's dealt with me being sick for years of my life. So you playing the sick card won't work that well, but she's not... mad or anything. Or upset with you. She just wants you to be better and to have a good life. She loves you. My dad loves you. They love that you care about me. I think that's what every parent wants for their kid." Rachel looked into Finn's eyes for a moment and smiled sadly. "Yeah. I'm glad I got to get out. But... yeah, I know it's hard and everything, but it's harder for you. And I completely understand that and I can't imagine it's hard, babe. And yes, I know I need to get out but I'm also worried about you. I want to make sure that I'm here for you, too. I want to make sure I get to see if you're okay. I want you to be happy and to have someone here for you because I know that you don't really have that many people to actually be here for you." Rachel looked down for a moment and looked back up into his eyes. "I know you're alright but I get worried that sometimes... you won't be. I'll always be worried, babe. You know that. I try not to but I always am." Rachel just wanted him to be happy and to be healthy and she knew that they had to get him further on the road to recovery, not just in the beginning stages.

-

Finn was feeling a lot better as he stayed clean and when Rachel told him that the girls were having some big party at the house, he was looking forward to a little distraction. He knew Rachel was probably terrified of him being in a party environment but he figured this was the test that he needed to see if he could handle the temptation. While physically he was feeling a lot better, mentally he was still struggling a lot and he was pretty sure he had lost count of the amount of times he had found himself about to throw away his progress and go buy heroin. He wanted it so badly and a part of him didn't know if that want and need he was feeling would ever go away. Finn watched as Rachel got ready, him sitting on the edge of her bed as he looked at her with a small smile on his face. "So, all the guys from Kappa Sigma are gonna be here tonight?" he asked her softly as he leaned back on his hands. Finn knew that they were close with her sorority and pretty much all parties they had together but he wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing the guys that he knew all too well. Ethan was going to be there - someone he definitely didn't want to fucking deal with - and Kevin was going to be there as well. His drug dealer was going to be at the party and Finn knew if there was any test - this was it. He looked at Rachel nervously before he got up from her bed and moved to grab his wallet, him tossing it on the bed. "Keep that away from me," he told her, knowing that at least if he didn't have money that he couldn't buy drugs. He wanted them so badly and he was itching for the chance to buy something - anything, at this point - to get him high. "Kevin is probably gonna be here and I just don't want to do anything stupid," he said softly. Finn stood there nervously, him glancing at himself in the mirror before he started pacing slightly. He could feel his anxiety on the rise and when he heard voices of the guys downstairs and the party getting started, he knew that this night was not going to be easy.

Rachel usually loved parties, but now? Now she was nervous. She wasn't really looking forward to it at all. Rachel was worried about everything to do with this party. She didn't want him to have any problems and she didn't want him to ruin all of his progress that he had made. "Yeah. Everyone is going to be here. I don't really want to... to just be down there all night. I want to talk to a few people and then go back upstairs and ignore everyone. I really don't have any friends in Kappa Sigma anymore. I was close to Ethan, obviously. And then he fucked everything up so... here we are." Rachel shrugged before watching Finn grab his wallet. "I'll hold onto it," She said before picking up his wallet and moving it somewhere where he wouldn't be able to find it for a while. "Finn, if you feel tempted just... please talk to me. We can go do something else. We come up here. Please. I just- you've been so good, Finn. And I know that this is on you but I want to help you. I can do anything you need me to do to make you feel more comfortable," She said softly, smiling gently. Running a hand through her hair, Rachel looked to him. "I'm just going to stick with you all night. I don't want to worry about anyone else and I know that we'll have a good night. It'll be hard, I know it will. But it'll be good to get out of this room and talk to people other than the two of us. We can actually have a nice time. Hopefully, I guess."

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. He felt bad that him being in her life had alienated her from a lot of her friends in both Kappa Sigma and her sorority but he knew that she wouldn't have changed anything because she loved him. And he loved her for that so much. When she told him to talk to her if he felt tempted, he nodded. "I mean, babe, I feel tempted all the time," he said softly. "My brain is like... constantly fixated on wishing that I could get high but I'm okay. I'm using my self control and just staying away from it all." Finn knew it was easier said than done and he knew this party was a serious test for him but he hoped desperately that he could do it. If he could stay sober through this, he could handle anything else. "Sticking together all night sounds good to me. At least I know I can just come back in here if it feels like a lot." Finn took a deep breath before he offered her a small smile. "Well... let's get down there I guess," he said softly as he took her hand in his. The second they started heading down the stairs, he saw everyone standing around with drinks in their hands as loud music played and he turned to face Rachel for a moment. "Do you want a drink, babe?" he asked her. "I shouldn't drink anything yet, right? So I'll just - I can make you one," he said, knowing that while he couldn't let loose at the party that it didn't mean she couldn't have a good time. He knew she wasn't going to let herself get drunk because she was focused on him but he still wanted her to let loose a little bit. "You deserve to get a little tipsy tonight, especially at your own party."

Rachel sighed softly. It really was impossible to know what was going on in his head, but she was trying to understand. She was trying to be what he needed but she knew that it was impossible to be what he really needed. She could only do so much and Rachel knew that even her best wasn't really enough for him sometimes. It was hard to know what he needed and when but Rachel was trying to do everything possible to make him happy and to keep him strong mentally as much as possible. However, it felt weird to be in such a strange place like this. "Yeah, we should get down there," She said softly, looking at him before going to go downstairs. As he offered her a drink, Rachel looked at him and started to shake her head. As he talked about her deserving to be tipsy, she raised an eyebrow as she looked at him. "I don't know if I need to get drunk, but I'll have a drink or two." Rachel looked at him before leaning up to kiss him. "I'll make it, though. I don't want it to be that strong," She said before looking at him for a moment. "Don't talk to anyone stupid," She said as she pointed at him before walking towards the kitchen to grab herself a cup, grabbing a bit of alcohol and filling the rest with a mixer. She talked to a couple of her friends for a moment, happy to be in a somewhat normal position. Rachel knew she needed to get back to Finn as well, however, she grabbed him a non alcoholic drink in a cup as she talked to her friends knowing that she wanted him to be able to feel normal as well.

Finn smiled softly when Rachel told him that she would have a drink or two. He just wanted her to have a good time and not feel like she had to babysit him all night. She was so focused on him and his well-being lately and while he appreciated it, he wanted her to have fun and live her life like they used to. He wanted her to not feel so overwhelmed because of his situation that he knew stressed her out. When she told him that she would make her drink since she didn't want it to be that strong, he laughed softly and nodded. "I won't. I'll be good," he told her as she walked into the kitchen. As Finn looked around and everyone at the party, he couldn't help but feel incredibly out of place. He had never been to a party sober in his life and he definitely wasn't a fan of it. "Yo, Hudson!" The second Finn heard Kevin's voice, his eyes widened slightly before he turned to face him, him offering the guy a small smile. "Hey, Kev," he said. "It's been a while, dude - you been good?" he asked him. "I don't use my own supply when it comes to dope but like... I know you don't usually just take a break from it." Finn forced a slight laugh as he looked down, him looking around for Rachel before he looked back to Kevin. "I um - I'm clean right now, actually. I'm trying to stay that way. For now. I mean, you know, Rachel wants me to be sober and shit so I'm trying," he said. Kevin raised his eyebrows as he looked at him and he knew that he doubted him just as much as Finn doubted himself. "Alright, that's cool. You're like totally clean, though? No coke too? Because like... I've never seen you not doing coke," Kevin said with a laugh. Finn forced a small laugh as he shifted his gaze around the room for Rachel once again. "Uh yeah - for now, like I said. It is weird to be at a party totally sober but it's a new experience I guess." Finn clenched his jaw to try and stop himself from asking Kevin for anything and when he caught sight of Rachel leaving the kitchen, he quickly said a rushed goodbye to Kevin before he hurried over to her. "I talked to Kevin but I didn't do anything, I just - I should have figured he'd want to know where I've been. Does my drink have alcohol in it? Can I have alcohol?" he asked her quickly, knowing that he needed something to cut down the anxiety that he felt building with each second he was spending at this party.

Rachel didn't want Finn to have temptation. In a perfect world, he'd have nothing tempting him and he would never have to worry about people trying to offer him anything. Unfortunately, college was horrible with stuff like that and everyone always had some kind of substance. She hated it and she wished that she could take Finn away from all of it. Unfortunately, it wasn't just her job -- it was Finn's job to stay away from all of it. As Rachel finished up a conversation with one of her friends, she grabbed the two drinks, Rachel started walking out towards where Finn was again. The second he started to speak, Rachel looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Kevin?" She said, her holding the two cups before looking up at him. "Babe, relax." She said quickly, her voice calm as she held onto the cups and met his gaze. "Relax," She repeated again, her eyes on his. "Your drink doesn't have alcohol. You can have a few sips of mine, but you... you need to not have anything and you know that." They had been trying so hard to really keep him away from anything and she wanted to ensure that things stayed that way no matter what. She didn't want him relying on alcohol instead of the drugs. "Just have this drink and relax a little bit and stop freaking out." As she handed over his drink to him, she looked up into his eyes and tried to smile gently. "I'm proud of you. For not doing anything or asking for anything. I know it's hard but- but you're doing so amazing. Even if you wish you could have something, your body is thanking you, believe me."

Finn let out a shaky breath as Rachel told him to relax, him just nodding as he looked down into her eyes. He instantly felt a bit better just being with her but he knew nothing could really talk away the intense anxiety he was feeling in this situation. God, he just wanted to be normal. When she told him that his drink didn't have any alcohol, he felt his heart sink slightly and while she said he could have a few sips of her drink, he knew that wasn't going to exactly give him what he needed. "I know. I - I'm trying to not have anything but I just thought it might help take the edge off," he told her. "Which is exactly what I shouldn't be doing, I guess." Finn sighed as he took his drink from her and he nodded as she spoke before he took a few long sips. When she told him that she was proud of him, Finn looked down at her with love in his eyes. "Thank you, baby. I don't feel like I'm doing great but I - thank you," he told her. Finn took a deep breath as he tried to relax and ignore the fact that all he wanted to do was get high. "Wow, they actually still let you hang out here?" The second Finn heard Ethan's voice, he felt his blood start to boil and he knew that he was in no mood to even deal with this guy. Finn knew he was more irritable that usual from not using and one wrong move from Ethan and he knew he'd completely explode. "Well, I live here with my girlfriend so, yeah, I'm still here." Finn glared at Ethan as he gripped onto his cup a bit tighter. God, he wished there was alcohol in his drink. "I'm just surprised you're upright at a party for once. No needle this time? Or are you sticking to shoving all your drugs up your nose tonight? And girlfriend? Wow - Rachel, you really do have some taste." Finn didn't really know where Ethan got off treating him like shit for using drugs when there were guys in his frat that did the same thing but he figured it was because he was some rich kid who looked down on anyone not exactly like him. "I'm actually sober so you can leave your drug addict comments to someone else. I heard some of your frat fuck buddies are doing a little skiing tonight. And don't fucking talk to her. I thought I told you that already but if you need me to remind you, I'll gladly do so," he told Ethan, knowing that he already just wanted to punch the guy in the face.

Rachel wished that her and Finn could just hide away in her room forever, honestly. Rachel wished that they could go from zero to one hundred and he could magically be better, but she knew that he wasn't possible. "Exactly, you shouldn't be doing anything like that, Finn. People try to substitute stuff all of the time and it gets them into more trouble. And now.... now you're trying to get better and you're doing so well even if it doesn't feel like that," She told him with a small smile, trying to be supportive as much as possible. Rachel was about to speak when she heard Ethan start to speak, Rachel taking a very long sip of her drink before she moved to stand directly next to Finn. "It's funny that you think you should even be able to talk to us," She said with a glare, looking at Ethan. As he continued to speak, Rachel looked over to him and rolled her eyes before looking back to Finn for a moment. "You're really fucking kidding me, right? I don't know why the fuck you think that you even deserve to speak to us right now," She told Ethan, holding onto her cup tightly. "If you ever gave a shit about me, you wouldn't even be bothering to speak to me." She heard Ethan laugh, him shaking his head. "Funny, Rachel. I'm just surprised you're still letting him fuck you when he can barely even take care of himself. I thought you were better than that. You'd be better off fucking some other-" "Some what? Some shitty ass frat boy like you? Why? Because you think you have money so you're better than him? You were shit to me. You're shit to Finn. And you don't deserve to say shit to him about anything. You really expect me to believe you're not getting high? Getting trashed? I'm not stupid. You're buddies with Kevin, right? Maybe you can go fuck him if you're so concerned about calling people out on being drug addicts." Rachel was pissed, she wasn't going to hide that and he really had no right to say anything to her or Finn especially when things were still so new for Finn. Finn was actually doing well and she didn't want him to fuck everything up that he had built.

Finn was tired of Ethan. He understood that the guy was jealous because Rachel had chosen him instead but he really needed to get the fuck over himself. When Rachel started getting angry too, he knew she was done with this whole situation as well. Ethan was such a piece of shit and he just wanted this guy to get the fuck out of their lives already. "You really think you're so above everyone else when you're literally just like everyone else in this fucking frat house. You know who I did coke with? All your friends. So don't act like you're not fucking getting high at every party there is," he told Ethan. "I didn't say I was above everyone else. I just know I'm above you," Ethan said with a laugh. "This whole relationship is fucking hilarious, you know that? Everyone knows you two are going to fall apart. You're gonna OD or go back on the street and everyone is going to forget about you. And you, Rachel, you're finally gonna wake up and stop fucking anyone who needs a little pick me up. If I knew you opened your legs for anyone, I never would have fucked you." At Ethan's words, Finn found himself seeing red and he knew he just wanted to fight this guy already. "Don't fucking talk to her like that," he said angrily, him setting his drink down and stepping closer to Ethan. "You wanna say shit about me? I don't give a fuck. But you shut your fucking mouth about Rachel." Ethan laughed and Finn felt himself growing more frustrated. "Then hit me. And I'll send you to jail. You'll finally be where you belong." Finn clenched his fists tightly at his sides as he tried to hold himself back from doing anything stupid because he knew Ethan was right. He could send him to jail and Finn knew he would do some amount of time because of his record. "That's what I thought. People like you need to learn your place, Hudson. You're just gonna end up like everyone else that shoots up and you both know it."

Rachel was trying to hold herself back, she was. A while ago, Rachel really thought that Ethan was a decent guy. He was sweet to her for the most part and he actually seemed like he cared about her until everything honestly started falling apart the second he knew anything about Finn. And she really didn't understand, she didn't. It felt like he was just finding any excuse to hate Finn even more and Finn really hadn't ever done anything wrong other than have a problem with his addiction. As Ethan talked to her about opening her legs up for anyone, Rachel could feel her mouth drop open slightly. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She said before seeing Finn move a bit closer to Ethan. "Finn, babe. Don't," Rachel managed quickly, knowing that she really didn't want him getting into trouble and getting put in jail -- because Ethan would do just that and he'd be proud of himself for doing so. "You're such a fucking dick, Ethan. You know that right?" She said as Finn held himself back from hurting Ethan, hopefully saving himself from getting in trouble. As Ethan spoke again, Rachel could feel her blood boil. Before she could stop herself, Rachel threw her drink in his face, earning the attention of quite a few people around them. Ethan looked at her in shock and she continued to move closer to him, her pushing at his shoulders roughly to move him back, her anger taking over her. "Don't you ever fucking say that shit to me ever again. Don't you fucking dare," She yelled, her hearing Kevin's laugh in the background. Honestly, just the laugh made her blood boil even more because she knew that she hated every single person that was a part of Finn's addiction. Every single one. "I don't even know why you fucking waste your energy on him. I'm not wrong. He's gonna-"Rachel brought her hand up to slap him roughly, him cursing as he brought a hand to his cheek to rub at his skin. "You think I'm fucking kidding, huh? You wanna put me in jail for ruining your pretty little face? You wanna punish me too? Your daddy might be some big shot, but guess what? My dad went to law school. I'll see you in court for all I fucking care," She laughed, pushing at him again as he held his arm up to stop her from getting too close to him. "You can't keep saying shit about him. I don't give a fuck what you say about me. You can say I open my legs up for the world but you'll still fuck anything that moves. Back the fuck up and stop saying shit about Finn. About us," She said, her pushing his hands away from protecting himself. "You're such a fucking coward. You talk big game but you're too fucking scared to fight. You'll have your daddy protect you, right? I don't give a fuck if I'm a girl. Hit me. Try me. I don't give a fuck."

Finn wanted to just kick the shit out of Ethan but he knew the guy would find a way to get him in serious trouble if he did so. He had narrowly escaped jail after his car accident and possession charge and he knew he couldn't risk any more incidents. "Dude, you better step the fuck back," Finn said angrily as Ethan kept running his mouth. Before he could say anything else, Rachel threw her drink in his face and his jaw dropped as he looked at his girlfriend. Everyone around them turned to look and he when she shoved Ethan backwards, all he could do was stare in shock. He knew Rachel could stand her ground - he had been on the receiving end of her angry plenty of times - but he had never witnessed her like this. When she slapped Ethan, Finn's eyes widened and he immediately moved closer to her as she continued to push at Ethan. "Babe," he said quickly, knowing that the last thing he wanted was for her to get in any trouble. God, he didn't want her involved in any of this when it was all because of him. The second she started telling Ethan to hit her, Finn wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her away from the guy. He didn't trust Ethan and a part of him was scared that he would push her or do something to hurt her. While he knew Rachel could take care of herself, he wasn't about to let anyone lay a hand on her. "Rach, calm down, baby," he said quickly. "Just fucking ignore him," he told her as he turned her away from Ethan, putting him between them. "Relax." Finn definitely didn't think he would be telling her to relax in this situation but he knew that he had to take care of her and make sure she didn't get herself into any trouble. "Wow, you really are a fucking psycho. I can't believe I ever even touched you, you stupid bitch." Ethan's words were the last straw that Finn could take before he turned around and swung his fist directly into Ethan's face as hard as he could. When he dropped to the ground, Finn looked at him with rage in his gaze, using everything in him to not land a kick to his face as well. "You better learn to shut your fucking mouth," he told Ethan, watching as he gripped his nose from where he was laying on the floor. "Send your lawyers my way if you want, I'll just let them know you were harassing my girlfriend you fucking piece of shit," he said angrily, feeling his blood boiling. "Let's get back to the fucking party," he yelled at everyone who had been watching the whole altercation. He could see everyone quickly darting their eyes away as people started talking amongst themselves again and Finn sighed in frustration as he turned back to Rachel. "I'm sorry," he said quickly, knowing that he had snapped and hit Ethan when he shouldn't have. "Fuck," he breathed out as he walked into the kitchen, knowing that he just needed to get the hell away from everyone before he blew up.

Rachel felt like she was just seeing red. She hated this. Honestly, Rachel was just completely disgusted by Ethan and she hated that she had ever even touched him in her life. As Finn grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her away from Ethan, she struggled against him for a moment and tried to pull his arms away from her so she could walk back towards Ethan. "Finn, let me go." She said to him, her stopping herself from struggling as he told her to relax. "I'm a stupid bitch, huh?" She said loudly, her looking at him and feeling herself grow more frustrated. As Finn pulled away from her slightly, she froze when she saw him hit Ethan. Honestly, she knew it was coming -- there had been a couple of times when he had been incredibly close to beating him up and she was surprised that it hadn't happened more quickly. Rachel looked at everyone staring before Finn yelled to everyone to get back to the party, her feeling her heartbeat loudly in her chest. What she had hoped would be a good night clearly was not one and she wished that they could have been anywhere else but here. Rachel followed Finn into the kitchen, her shaking her head gently as he apologized. "Babe, it's okay." She said as she followed after him, her moving her hand to his arm to hold onto him gently. "Damn, Berry. You've got some balls," She heard Kevin laugh as he walked into the kitchen after them, her turning around to glare at him. "Get the fuck away from us," She said, giving him a harsh look. "Let me correct that. Stay the fuck away from us." She said before turning back to Finn and looking at him. "Sorry you had to do all of that. I feel bad. Did you hurt your hand at all?" She said, her grabbing his hand gently that he had hit Ethan with. "I'm sorry. I love you, though. You're pretty hot when you're angry," She whispered as she looked up at him, trying to keep the mood somewhat light. "He pisses me off. I'm pissed I even ever fucked around with him. Just a typical frat boy that relies on his daddy for everything. He just- god. It pisses me off. And don't worry about him coming after you or anything. He won't, okay? I- He talks big game but... even if he did, I mean, I'll have my dad help you. He'll represent you and stuff if he tries getting his dad to come after you. He always brings up the lawyer shit and forgets my dad went to law school, too."

Finn was pretty sure he had never been so frustrated in his life. From dealing with Ethan to dealing with being sober, he was honestly just done with all of it. He was glad that he had punched Ethan in the face but he also knew it could have been a massive mistake if he did try to press charges against him. When Kevin spoke to Rachel, Finn looked up as she got angry with him as well and he hated that he had created this whole situation. "Babe, stop. He didn't do anything," he said softly. When she grabbed his hand, he sighed and shook his head. "It's fine. And my hand is okay. I wouldn't even give a fuck if it was hurt because I've been waiting to hit him for a long time." As she spoke, he offered her a small smile. "I love you too. And you're pretty hot when you're angry yourself. I wasn't expecting that." He knew she was trying to lighten the mood but if he was being honest, he didn't think anything could really salvage the night at this point. From the beginning of the party he had already been on edge and he knew that this wasn't going to make anything any better. "It pisses me off too. And I am worried but I guess it doesn't matter at this point. He can do whatever the fuck he wants but if he does try and come after me and my dad finds out about this whole thing, I'll fucking knock him out next time." Finn let out a shaky breath as he stood with Rachel before his gaze flickered over to the bottles of liquor that were all set out on the island counter. "I need a drink," he breathed out. Finn moved away from Rachel and over to the alcohol, him grabbing a bottle of whiskey before he started pouring it into a cup for himself. "I know what you said before but I need something, babe," he said. "I just need something." Finn grabbed a mixer for his drink as he poured it in the cup as well, trying his best to not think about the fact that 'needing something' was pretty much what had started the whole mess he was in, in the first place.

Rachel wanted to honestly forget about this night. She hated that this was even a thing. It felt like the night was just completely ruined and she knew that it was. If her and Finn could just disappear and go do something else, she would rather just do that and ignore everyone else. "Ethan is a jackass. He was shit to me when we were talking and he's still shit to me now." She told him, her sighing gently. As he moved away from her, Rachel just looked down for a moment before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Obviously, him drinking wasn't something that was good for him in this kind of situation, but she didn't blame him. She didn't blame him for being upset and wanting something, especially since he had been going through so much. Rachel followed him over to the liquor before she moved next to him and grabbed a cup for herself. "Please just... don't go crazy tonight with the alcohol. But I'm going to join you and have a drink because well... my drink is kind of all over Ethan, so..." She said, her grabbing a cup and pouring some vodka in it before pouring some mixer in it for herself and looking to Finn. "I'm sorry that tonight is fucked up, Finn. I really thought that things would be fine. We've been here less than thirty minutes and we already got the attention of every single greek life member in a mile radius." She said before taking a long sip of her drink and sighing. "If you need ice or something for your hand let me know. Or if you get overwhelmed we can go to my room and just... forget about everyone else and have our own party, you know? I know that we're friendly with most people and we-we have some friends but we both kind of... have each other. I don't know. I'm happy I have you and I'm happy that we can have our own fun. And I'm really happy that we can get out of here soon and do our own thing."

Finn looked down at Rachel when she told him to not go crazy with the alcohol and he nodded. He knew in this drink alone he had been pretty heavy-handed with the whiskey so he hoped it would be enough to just help him get his mind off of everything. The past week had been total hell and he really just wanted to feel okay after feeling like shit for so long. "Babe, why are you apologizing? It's not your fault," he said as he brought his drink to his lips before he took a large sip, knowing that he was going to finish this as quickly as he could. "And I - I'm alright, I promise. My hand is probably gonna bruise a little bit but that's nothing I can't handle. And I'm okay - I am. I'm happy we can do our own thing too but this shit is important for your whole sorority thing, isn't it?" Finn took another large sip of his drink before he stepped a bit closer to Rachel, his eyes gazing down into hers. "This is your party, babe. I know you're focused on me and you've been focused on me for the past week but I want you to think about you too. Your friends are here and isn't the whole point of being in a sorority that you do things together? You're not leaving this party so you can sit in your room with me and lay around. You're not." A part of him hated himself for how he had changed Rachel's life so drastically. When they had first met she was the life of every party they went to together and he knew the only reason she wanted to hide away was because she felt like she was protecting him. He loved that she was protective of him but he also wanted her to live her life without having to worry about him too. "We'll just have fun far away from Ethan if he's even still here. And he'll know better than to talk to us by now because I really have no issue hitting him again at this point," he said before he quickly finished off the rest of his drink. Without even thinking about it he started making himself another one, knowing that he just needed to feel something other than reality for a little while.

Rachel sighed as Finn told her that it was her party. "I- I know it is. And I- I helped plan it and everything but I... babe, I want to be with you. I want to spend time with you. The only girl that I was really close to was Chloe and well... we can see how that turned out and here we are. I love the girls and I- I have my little who I hang out with and everything but we see each other all of the time and I just... you know that I'd rather hang out with you. I love you, babe. I just-I know you try and make me have fun, but I do have fun with you," She whispered softly as she held onto her drink before taking another small sip and keeping the cup close to her mouth before taking another long sip. SHe knew that she was probably drinking a little faster than she probably should, but she really hadn't let loose in a while and she wanted to. She wanted to be able to feel a little tipsy and she wanted to just have a good time. Her life was so much different than it had been just a year ago, but here she was and she really couldn't imagine her life being that much different. She felt like she was meant to be doing this with Finn even if she felt like she had no idea what she was doing. As she took a few more long sips of her drink, she saw Finn make another one and she sighed into her cup before finishing up what she had and holding onto the empty cup for a moment. "Babe." She said, her voice slightly stern as she looked at him. "Come on. You said you wouldn't go crazy. I know you're big and you can handle your alcohol but... please. Don't go replacing what you lost with something else." She knew that she really should just let it go because she didn't want to upset him, but she also knew that she couldn't just let it go. She never could -- especially not when she felt like helping him and monitoring him had become such a large part of her life. "Well... do you want to salvage the rest of the night and try and have a good time? Enjoy the music a little bit and make out in corners of rooms? The only good thing is that this is my place so we don't have to sneak into some random room to fuck," She laughed before grabbing some alcohol to pour into her cup with some more mixer. "I think I'm done after this one. I haven't had a drink in forever and my tolerance is probably shit."

Finn bit down on the inside of his cheek when Rachel told him that she wanted to be with him, that she wanted to spend time with him. He loved her and how she loved him but he felt himself getting more and more concerned that she was ignoring the rest of her life to focus on him and he didn't want her to do that. He didn't want to be that kind of burden on her shoulders. "I know you have fun with me. I have fun with you too but you need to have fun with your friends too, babe," he said softly. When he started making another drink and she told him not to go crazy, he sighed softly. "I'm not. Look, I'm gonna make this drink and then I'll nurse it for the rest of the night, okay? This is it. But you know me and you know one drink isn't gonna even do anything for me. I at least want to be a little buzzed. Plus, alcohol can't replace what I lost no matter how much I drink. Nothing else can give you what dope can." Finn finished making his drink and when she asked him if he wanted to salvage the rest of the night, he managed a small smile as he looked into her eyes. "Okay. I do want to try and have fun tonight. And I obviously want to make out with you and sneak you off to your room later." Finn looked down at his drink before he looked back at her, him taking a small smile before he took her hand in his. "Come on," he said softly as he led her back into the living room. When he spotted a bunch of her friends, he walked over to them, knowing that he just wanted Rachel to have a good time. "Hey guys. Sorry about the whole thing that happened, hope I didn't ruin the party," he said, knowing that he just wanted the night to feel normal in some way. "It's okay, Finn. Ethan's always been an asshole to you," one of the girls said, causing him to smile softly. He figured living at the house with them gave him a upper hand when it came to them taking his side and he was relieved that they were okay with everything. Finn turned to face Rachel, his hand moving to her hip as he stood close to her. "Why don't you try and talk to Chloe. That whole fight is old news, right? Might as well try and have things feel normal again," he said in her ear. He wanted to fix the things he had ruined for Rachel and while he wasn't sure if he could fix himself, if he could help her have fun again and repair her relationship with her best friend, he was sure as hell going to try.

Rachel looked to Finn and nodded gently at his words. Obviously, nothing would replace the feeling that he used to get from the drugs, but she knew that she didn't want him to rely on anything else while he was healing. If all of a sudden he started to develop a problem with alcohol, she was positive that she wouldn't know what to do with herself. Rachel wanted to do everything possible to help him and to make him better but there was a point that she couldn't even do anything anymore. As Finn took her hand, Rachel offered him a small smile and began to walk off with him towards the living room and towards her friends. She loved that he wanted her to still be her and to do her own thing and she loved how they always were with each other. Once they were near her friends, she looked at them and managed a soft laugh. "Yeah, sorry, guys. We both kind of snapped. But he pisses me off so much," She said before hearing her friends laugh. "Yeah, it's totally fine. It was entertaining. You always add some crazy shit to a party. In a good way," Her friend added, Rachel chuckling before looking to Finn as he moved his hand to her hip. Talking to Chloe really didn't seem like a good idea, especially when she was already pissed about everything that had already happened in the night. "I really don't know if that's a good idea." The idea of fucking things up even more than they already were din't seem like a good idea. And honestly, Rachel hadn't even heard anything about Chloe in a really long time. All of her friends knew not to say anything about Chloe and Rachel knew better than to ask. "I mean... I'll try and talk to her but you know that you also need to talk to Jamie one day soon, too. I just- I'll never forgive either of them. If something had happened to you I'm pretty sure that I would have killed one of them." Sighing, Rachel looked up at him before moving to lean her head against his chest. "I can talk to her. But I really just don't want to fuck everything up even more. We did everything together but I'm just over it all, you know? Things are so much different," She said as she looked up at Finn again.

Finn knew that Rachel was still pissed off at Chloe and he understood why, obviously. What Chloe and Jamie had done to him had been really fucked up but a part of him also understood them wanting him far away from Rachel. He knew he wasn't exactly good for her and it scared him sometimes when he saw that and she seemed to totally ignore how them being so close had changed her. All he wanted was for her to be happy and to not worry so much and he knew he made those things really difficult sometimes even if she would never admit it to him. "I will talk to Jamie one day, I will," he said softly. "I just think I should wait until I'm clean longer before I talk to him. And I know you're scared because something bad could have happened but nothing bad did happen, okay?" Finn ran his hand up and down along her back as she rested her head against his chest and when she pulled away, he looked at her with love in his gaze. "You're not going to fuck anything up even more, babe. I'm clean so her reason to be mad at this situation is gone and I just - I don't want you to lose your best friend because of me, okay? I've fucked up enough shit, I really don't want you and Chloe to just be done when you two were like sisters when I met you." Finn sighed before he took a long sip of his drink, him hating that while he felt a little buzzed that it wasn't the escape he craved. A part of him figured drinking had never been enough for him and it was why he had started using coke practically the second he started his freshman year. He dipped his head down to press a kiss to her lips, him deepening it for a moment before he pulled away slowly. "I just want to pretend things are normal tonight," he whispered softly. "Have fun with your friends for a little bit. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and then jump in on some beer pong or something, okay?" Finn offered her a small smile before he moved through the crowd of people and up the stairs. He made his way up to the bathroom and the second he was inside, he felt frustration overwhelm him as he dumped his drink down the sink. "It doesn't even fucking do anything," he breathed out as he moved to sit down on the closed toilet. He put his head in his hands, trying to ignore the way he was shaking from the anxiety he was feeling. Anxiety brought on solely by the fact that he didn't have any heroin. He wanted it so desperately and he hated that he couldn't have it. He sat there for a few moments before he walked out of the bathroom and the second his gaze found Kevin, he hurried over to him. "Kev, can you hook me up?" he asked him. "I can get you the money tomorrow but I need something." When Kevin slipped him a tiny baggie of heroin, Finn felt his heart racing in his chest, knowing that he wanted it more than anything. Just one little fix and then he could focus on being clean again. Finn tucked the bag into his pocket before he moved back into the party, him walking over to where some of the guys were playing beer pong and trying his best to just blend in without thinking about the drug in his pocket. He had to play it cool for Rachel's sake and wait until later because the last thing he wanted was her worrying about him at her own party.

Rachel did miss Chloe. Rachel missed how close they used to be, but at this point? What was she supposed to do or say to change things? She really didn't know what she was supposed to say for them to start over again. "I know we were like sisters. And I- I do miss her but I really don't even know what to say." She sighed as Finn leaned down to kiss her, her kissing him back before pulling away and looking up at him. "Okay. Just- come find me later if I don't see you first. If it dies down, we can just go upstairs." Rachel watched him walk away for a moment before she started to walk off on her own while she finished her drink. Once she caught sight of Chloe, she downed the rest of her drink for a little bit of liquid courage before she walked up to her old friend, seeing Chloe meet her eyes. "Can we talk?" Rachel said as she walked up to her, Chloe just staring for a moment before nodding and walking out to the backyard for a moment to stand by the pool. Rachel dropped her empty cup on the walk and stood next to Chloe before sighing. "So..." Chloe said, digging her heel into the ground. "I miss you. And I- I know that's probably shitty to say after everything I've said to you, but I do miss you. I know you weren't really that involved with what happened with Finn, and I- I'm sorry for hating you and- and acting like a bitch. I'm so sorry. We haven't talked in forever and I miss you, I do. But I'm not going to give up on Finn. So if me and Finn being together is your problem, I- I'm not sorry about that. And I-" "Rachel." "I- Sorry." Chloe just shook her head before smiling sadly. "Look, it's fine, okay? I get why you were a bitch to me and I probably deserved it. You were nice to all of the guys I was ever with no matter how shitty they were to me. And I should have never been a bitch to you. I know we won't magically be best friends again, but I miss you too. I was scared to talk to you, honestly. But... we can work on it, okay?" Chloe said, Rachel nodding before moving in to hug Chloe tightly for a moment. "It's going to be our senior year. I've made it this long with you and we can't miss out on that. You and me are going to lead this next year together and we- we gotta stick together. No boys coming between us, okay?" After talking with Chloe for a few moments, she walked inside with her and tried to enjoy herself, getting another drink and feeling the alcohol really start to hit her. Once she started to think about Finn, Rachel started going around looking for him, her smiling when she saw him standing by the beer pong tables were. "Babe," She said, a laugh escaping her lips. "Are you kicking ass at beer pong?" She said before moving over to him and holding onto his arm gently.

Finn couldn't stop thinking about the heroin that was in his pocket but he also knew that he had to hold off until later that night. There was no way in hell Rachel could know and he hoped just getting to use once more would help him stave off the psychological torture he was going through. As he stood with the guys who were playing beer pong, he felt totally out of it since half of his mind was focused on getting high but he was trying his best to pay attention. He was trying his best to just be in the moment a little bit. When Rachel walked over to him, Finn smiled at his girlfriend and he could tell that she was definitely a little drunk. He hadn't seen her like this in a while and he couldn't help but feel his heart sink a bit. Finn was more than aware of the fact that he was the reason she had stopped drinking too much - the reason she had stopped having fun. Because she wanted to take care of him and wanted to focus on him and he knew that he needed to make that stop. He needed her to be Rachel again. "Hey baby," he said softly. "Um, not really. I'm kind of just watching this game. I'll get in on the next one," he said as he looked down at her before he wrapped his arm around her waist, tugging her into his side. "You look a little drunk," he said playfully before he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Did you talk to Chloe? Because you seem like you're in a pretty good mood so if you did talk to her I guess that means it didn't go too badly, right? Or did you fight someone else tonight?" Finn wanted to keep the mood lighthearted for Rachel and even though internally he didn't feel good at all, he wanted her to feel good. For once he wanted to stop being so selfish and focus on her instead of her focusing on him. He just needed her to be happy more than anything.

Rachel looked at Finn and nodded. "Good. You're good at beer pong, you'd totally kill it. Do you remember when we were at our first party together and you and I played beer pong? We were practically fucking each other mid-game," She laughed against him as he tugged her closer to him. They had been incredibly messed up, but she really loved being so carefree with Finn. Things had been so much easier then, but she also knew that Finn had been digging himself into the hole he was in now. "And I am a little drunk. Not like... trashed but I'm pretty drunk. I kind of chugged the last half of my drink before I talked to Chloe because I thought I'd need it but it was fine." She said with a smile as she looked up at him. Rachel definitely didn't need the drink that she was holding, but she didn't want to just be standing around holding nothing. "But it was okay. We're gonna try being friends and being close again. It's gonna be okay. She said that we'll work on it. And that's enough for me." Rachel took a long sip of her drink before looking up at Finn again. "I do feel like a badass though. I swear, I'll fight whoever gets in my way. It would be cool to have a black eye or something," She giggled into her drink, leaning against Finn more fully for a moment. "I need to stop drinking, though. I don't wanna be super hungover tomorrow so I should stop before I regret getting really fucked up." Rachel was sure that she'd need to eat something huge tomorrow so she didn't feel like complete shit but for now, she was enjoying herself, and that was enough. Rachel knew that she needed to be with Finn and needed to be there for him to help him through whatever he needed through his journey to being healthier. And while she knew that she needed to concentrate on herself, Rachel just wanted to make sure he was happy, too.

Finn smiled as Rachel spoke. "I remember. When we're at parties we're pretty much always practically fucking each other the whole time," he said with a laugh. "I'm happy that you and Chloe talked though, baby. You two needed that. You two working on it is enough for me too." He watched as she took another sip of her drink and as she spoke, a small smile pulled up at the corner of his lips. He loved her so much and he missed seeing her like this more than he had even realized. "You are a bad ass but it's not cool to have a black eye because that would mean someone hit you and if someone hit you, I'd hit them ten times harder." When she sad that she needed to stop drinking, he took her cup from her hand and smiled at her before he took a sip of it himself. "I'll help you with it then. I'll be a good boyfriend and make sure you don't get hungover. Alcohol doesn't really do anything for me anyway." Finn looked down at her with love in his eyes before he dipped his head down to press a kiss to her lips, him deepening it for a moment before pulling away. "You look really sexy tonight, you know that? You always do but, I mean, I missed seeing you in your little party clothes," he said with a playful smile on his face. Finn looked into her eyes as he held up her cup. "You still drinking or you want me to finish it?" he asked her, him smiling and licking his lips as he met her gaze. A part of him was amazed how being with her could make him forget what he was going through in his head sometimes and he knew she really was the only person he had ever felt this way with. She was his person and that was exactly why he was so determined to make sure she was happy.

Rachel knew that her and Chloe definitely did need some time to work on things. There were conversations that needed to be had and she knew that her and her friend couldn't just go from not talking to talking every single day again. It just wasn't possible. There was a lot of shit going on and Rachel knew that Chloe didn't necessarily love Finn, but it would have to be something that he'd deal with. There was no way that things could turn around that quickly. As Finn took her cup from her hands, Rachel looked up at him and offered him a small smile before leaning up to meet his kiss. "Mm, thank you. You can definitely help me out. And yeah, if I'm hungover that means I'm less fun for you and that sucks." Rachel definitely wanted to be able to enjoy her day with Finn tomorrow and that meant that she couldn't be laying around in bed because she was hungover all day. "Mm, sexy, huh? I'm glad I can impress. I haven't broken out my hoe clothes in a while," She grinned before a laugh escaped her lips. "And... hold on." She said before grabbing the cup and taking another long sip before handing the cup back to him. "Now you can finish it. I'm not going to be able to finish that. And if I do, well... I'll definitely not be feeling the greatest," She said as she ran her hand along his side. "If you're getting in on the next game, I claim being your partner. I'm up for recreating our first party. Which means really awesome sex, so I hope you're up for that."

Finn was happy to be able to just have fun with Rachel since he knew they had both been pretty depressed since he had started getting clean. He knew she was only feeling down because he was and he really did want to start lifting her up more the way that she always did for him. As the party continued, they played beer pong with some friends and for the rest of the night, Finn really did feel normal for a while. Of course, his normal at a party usually meant being wasted and snorting coke all night but he was trying to get used to what his new normal was. After a while, him and Rachel disappeared upstairs and he knew he had missed the old wild Rachel that he had been crazy about when they first met. It was hours after they had fallen asleep together that Finn woke up with anxiety rushing through him, his eyes squinting in the dimly lit room as his eyes adjusted. The sun was just starting to rise and he knew it wasn't normal for him to be up so early. Well, it was now that he was clean and couldn't sleep. When he remembered that he had bought heroin earlier, he felt everything in him stop and he knew he wanted it. He knew he needed it. He slipped out of bed quietly, not wanting to wake her up before he grabbed his underwear from the floor. Finn moved over to the pants he had been wearing and slipped the baggie from his pocket before he headed out of the bedroom and to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. His eyes were dark as he stared at the drug his body craved so desperately and he bit down on his lip as he tried to think if he had any needles. He knew when they had returned home from her parents house that they had thrown out pretty much everything and while he obviously preferred the high that gave him, he didn't feel like waiting. Finn felt as though he was in a trance as he poured out two lines on the counter before setting the bag aside. The second he leaned over to snort them, however, he caught sight of himself in the mirror and he felt his body start to panic. What the fuck was he doing? What would Rachel think if she knew he was about to get high? Finn felt his heart start pounding in his chest and he pulled away from the counter, his hands shaking as he stared at the lines he wanted so badly. Feeling himself starting to panic more and more, he hurried from the bathroom back towards the bedroom, him gently shaking Rachel's shoulder. "Baby, please wake up. Please wake up, I need you," he breathed out. "I bought heroin at the party," he told her, his voice shaking as he spoke. "I didn't do it but I almost did. It's in the bathroom and I - I'm sorry." Finn moved to sit down on the bed before he put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry."

Rachel had one of the best nights she had in a while. While Finn was always telling her that he wanted her to have a normal night and just have fun, she never really ever did anything like this. Rachel never enjoyed the parties. Sometimes, if there was a get together at the sorority, she'd make her and Finn go out and do something else so he didn't feel tempted by the environment. Rachel wasn't stupid. She knew that it was more than just a familiar setting that would make him want to get high again. It was all mental and even just sitting around with her, she was sure that he was thinking about getting high. However, Rachel wanted to do everything possible to help him feel normal. After having fun at the party for a little bit, Rachel and him went upstairs and enjoyed their time alone before they both fell asleep. Rachel was exhausted from the night with Finn and from the alcohol making her tired and she knew that she needed all the sleep she could get. When Rachel felt Finn waking her up abruptly, Rachel opened her eyes up slowly and turned her body slightly as she tried to focus her gaze on Finn. "What's going on?" She breathed out tiredly before sitting up and bringing a hand to her eyes to rub at them. "You what?" She said, immediately feeling herself wake up more. Rachel got out of bed after a moment and went to grab his shirt to slip on, her heart racing in her chest. Knowing that he didn't do anything was good, but she was still freaking out over the fact that he almost had. "I-You left it in the bathroom?" She said, her looking at him and feeling her heart racing in her chest. "Hey... hey. Look at me," She said, her running a hand through his hair. "It's okay. You didn't do it and that's all that matters. Just- we need to get rid of it. I'm sorry, Finn. You can't... you can't do this. We need to just- we need to get rid of it." She said before starting to move towards the bathroom, seeing the two lines of heroin. Rachel wasn't used to his drug use even if she had seen it all of the time. She had seen him snort lines, she had seen him shoot up. She had seen him do it all. At yet she still felt shocked every time she saw him doing anything. Rachel grabbed onto the small bag and looked at him before looking back to the two lines and starting to move them into a tiny pile to put back into the bag so she could get rid of it. "Baby, you- you can't do this. I'm- god. I- I'm happy that you came and got me. So happy. But I- we- you can't do this anymore. You're doing so well, Finn. I know you want it but you can't."

Finn didn't want to do this to Rachel. He didn't want to wake her up and tell her that he had almost gotten high but he knew if he had stayed in that bathroom a second longer that he would be high right now. And once he got a taste he knew there would be no way in hell he would have stopped after only two lines. When she immediately woke up and got out of bed, grabbing his shirt and slipping it on, he looked at her brokenly. All he could do was keep saying he was sorry over and over because he didn't know what to say anymore. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. When she ran her hand through his hair and told him to look at her, he hesitantly met her gaze. "I know," he breathed out. "I know we have to get rid of it. I - I just... I started panicking because I knew you'd be so upset if I did it," he told her. Finn followed her to the bathroom, him clenching his jaw as his gaze fixated on the drug once more. There was a part of him that was extremely frustrated because he knew he wished he had just gotten high and the other part of him was just sad. God, he hated this situation and he hated that he was constantly dragging Rachel into his mess, especially after the amazing night they had together. "I know I can't keep doing this," he breathed out as he watched her try and get the heroin back into the bag he had poured it out from. Finn could feel himself shaking as he watched her and he knew it was because he wanted it so badly. "I just thought I could do one bag and make my brain shut off for a little while. It's all I've been thinking about and I just wanted it to stop," he told her. "I just wanted it to stop and it's never going to." Finn looked at the heroin before he stepped a bit closer to Rachel. "I don't know if I'm ready to be clean. Maybe I should just try again another time," he told her. "Because I don't think I'm ready and I - I need it." Finn bit down on his lip, unable to take his eyes off of the little bag she was holding. "Can I just have a little, babe?" he asked her. "I need something. I - I can't stop shaking and I can't sleep anymore because my anxiety is so bad and I just need something to make it stop. Dope is the only thing that will make it stop, I know it," he said as he reached out for the bag. He could feel the fight within himself waging on and he knew the side that wanted the drugs was starting to drag his sober side under.

Rachel knew that if Finn had done this to himself again she wouldn't have known what she'd done. Rachel was positive that she'd absolutely freak out and she was honestly scared to know what she would do. If he had gotten high Rachel wasn't sure what she would have even said let alone do. As she managed to get the drug back into the bag, making sure not to drop any on the floor or leave any on the counter, she held the bag in her hand and she looked at him. "I know. I know you thought that, but that's not how this works, babe. You don't... you don't get to just take the edge off. That's not how drugs work. You're too reliant on this and the second you have it again, you're just going to fall back into a hole. I know that and you know that." She told him softly, her feeling her heart still racing in her chest. "You're never going to be ready. And no. You can't have any, Finn. You can't ever have any anymore," She told him, her moving further away from him as he reached out for the bag she was holding. "I wish you could see yourself right now, Finn. You look crazy. You sound crazy." Rachel told him, unsure of what to do. She knew that she couldn't let him have any of the drug she was holding and she couldn't just throw it away because he could easily just go and get it from the trash even if she tried hiding it from him. He'd go crazy looking for it and she couldn't have that. She just needed it to go away. "I'm sorry." She said, her waiting a moment before getting a split thought in her mind to just flush it and get rid of it. Rachel knew the lengths Finn would go to get high and she couldn't make it accessible to him. Not saying anything, Rachel turned from him slightly and threw the small bag into the toilet before flushing it quickly to get it out of his reach. "You can't keep doing this shit. I- I don't know who the fuck you're trying to buy this shit from but it needs to stop. You need to stop. I'll give you the money back that you spent so you're not wasting it on fucking drugs but you can't do this again, Finn. You had that with you all night?" She asked him, her feeling her mind racing. "You- all night? When did you even get it? Was this your plan? Get me to have fun and talk to my friends so I would be away long enough for you to be able to get something?"

Finn knew Rachel was right when she told him that drugs weren't just for taking the edge off and he knew she was right when she said that he was never going to be ready to get clean. There was never a perfect time and it was never going to feel good no matter how long he waited. When he tried to reach for the bag before she pulled away from him, he could feel his heart racing in his chest. "I feel crazy. Maybe I am crazy. I don't know, I just - I hate not having it. I need it," he told her. "Baby, please," he breathed out. Before he could do anything, Rachel was tossing the heroin into the toilet and flushing it and he could feel his jaw drop slightly as he watched it disappear. "Why did you do that?" he said despite the fact that he knew exactly why she had resorted to flushing it down the toilet. "I - I didn't even buy it, I don't have any money. I just - I told Kevin I'd get him the money when I could. He just gave it to me because he knew I needed it," he told her. "And yeah, I had it all night but that wasn't my plan - it wasn't." Finn could feel himself getting even more worked up as he looked at her and he could practically feel the disappointment that was in her gaze. "I wanted you to have fun with your friends because I make you fucking miserable. And I just wanted to get away because I constantly feel overwhelmed and knowing that you're overwhelmed too because of me doesn't help. I - I wanted to get away and I got mad because alcohol doesn't do anything, it doesn't make me feel any better and then I saw Kevin and I asked him to hook me up and he did," he told her. "I just wanted you to have a good night and I fucked it up," he said angrily, feeling himself getting even more frustrated before he stormed back into the bedroom. "Fuck," he said loudly, him running a hand through his hair before he started pacing. "I hate this, I hate it so much. I can't sleep, I can't think, I can't fucking do anything but think about it and then I'm sitting here bringing you down with me. You know what I realized at that party, Rach? That you're losing your friends because of me. You're losing your life because of me," he told her. "Don't try and tell me that you're not because we both know it's true and I just - I don't want this to keep happening. I want to be clean for you, baby. I want to be so badly but this is all so overwhelming and I - I just feel like I'm gonna explode," he told her, him feeling a knot form in his throat as all the emotion he was experiencing felt as though it was going to blow up.

Rachel looked at him and furrowed her eyebrows. "He knew you needed it? Are you fucking kidding me? Finn, you don't need shit. I'll fucking give him the money for you and tell him to piss off so he stops fucking giving you shit." She was so over this and so over him just going to everyone he knew. "I did that because you need to realize that you don't need this shit, Finn. You don't need any of it. And I don't know if you've realized it yet, but Kevin doesn't care what you need. He cares about your fucking money. He cares about you buying his shit because he's fucking broke," She told him, feeling her frustration rise. Finn really wasn't thinking and he wasn't doing the right thing and she couldn't believe that he really thought that Kevin even gave a shit about anything other than his money. "You did fuck it up! You can't keep doing this, Finn. You can't keep going back to this when you know how horrible it is for you." She said to him before following him into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her so they didn't disturb the rest of the house. She paused as he spoke to her, Rachel trying to take a deep breath to calm down slightly and not start an argument. She didn't want to upset Finn more than he already was. "You aren't bringing me down, Finn. Whatever I choose to do with my friends is none of your concern. Whatever happens isn't your fault. You're not the one making my decisions for me. And I- I love you and I want you to be happy and to feel safe and I want to help you do that. I have friends, Finn. I see them every day in class. I hang with them in breaks when I'm not here with you. And I- I just... I don't know what you want me to tell you, Finn. I wish you could hear yourself." She breathed out to him as she looked at him. "Finn, you always say you want to get clean for me and I- I know it's hard for you. I can't even begin to imagine. But you... you go and do shit like this. You go running to Kevin to get drugs and to get a quick fix and you're going to be right back to square one. And you can say you want to get clean for me and you want to be with me but I know that you're not thinking about any of that shit when all of that shit about drugs is going through your mind. Until you get to a point where you're not thinking about getting high every day, this just- this won't ever be what we want, don't you get that? I love you, Finn. And I know you love me. But whether you believe it or not I'm just going to be second. To the drugs. And it sucks to say that but... but it's whats going through your brain and- and I feel shitty for saying that but it's true, Finn. And I know addiction is a disease and stuff and you're struggling, but you need help Finn. I can't be the only one helping you. You need some kind of... of help. A program. A therapist. Someone. I can't do this all for you," She said, her voice pained.

Finn had fucked everything up and while he hadn't gotten high, he knew that wasn't what mattered to Rachel. What mattered to her was his mindset and unfortunately he knew he wasn't in a good head space. He didn't even remember the last thing he had been in a good place mentally if he was being honest. "I don't know either. I don't know what I want you to tell me. I don't know what to say anymore," he breathed out, him furrowing his brows as he tried to hold himself together somehow. When she told him that she was second to the drugs, he opened his mouth to tell her she was wrong before he stopped himself. A part of him knew that she was right. Their relationship wasn't his main focus when all he could think about was getting high. "I never asked you to help me," he breathed out. "I never wanted you to help me. I just wanted you to be my girlfriend. I didn't want to put this on you." Finn looked at her brokenly and he knew he was at the end of his rope. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know how to fix any of this and he just wanted time to stop. He just wanted to go back before he had ever done anything in the first place. "I don't know where to get help," he told her. "My parents can't afford rehab a-and I don't want to go away. I don't think a therapist would help me," he breathed out. "I just have to do it myself." Finn looked into her eyes for a moment before he looked down, him running his hands over his face as he tried to keep himself together. "I'll figure it out. And I don't want you to help me anymore." Finn knew that asking her to stop helping him was basically impossible since that was just the kind of person that she was but he wanted her to let go a little bit when it came to him. "Maybe we just shouldn't talk about it," he said softly. "It's just making more problems for us and I think it would be better if we just... didn't talk about when I'm feeling like this anymore." Finn nodded to himself before he forced a small smile as he looked at her before he shifted his gaze downwards. "This is my problem, not our problem. And I - I'm sorry I've been making it your problem too."

Rachel really honestly couldn't believe that Finn was saying what he was saying. Things Finn said didn't make sense a lot of the time, but she knew it was the haze that the drugs always used to give him. He was himself at some points and then not himself in others and she didn't know how to act during certain times that she was with him. "You sound crazy, Finn. You just wanted me to be your girlfriend. Okay. But you have to realize that you aren't just you. You come with the drugs. You're a package deal. I had no choice but to get involved. Because you aren't you when you're high. And I'm in love with the you that's really you. Not the one that's consumed by drugs." She said as she looked at him, her feeling herself get overwhelmed. Rachel went to sit down on her side of the bed, leaning against the headboard for a moment as she tried to listen to what he was saying. Really saying. Obviously, help was expensive. Rachel could feel tears sting in her eyes as she looked up at the ceiling before bringing her hands to cover her eyes. It was stupid to get emotional when she knew that Finn was right. This really was his problem, not hers. But how was she supposed to be next to him and not be involved every single second? "So, what?" She said, her looking at him, tears stinging her eyes. "You want us to just not talk about it when you're so tempted you fucking ask Kevin for drugs? You want to not talk about it when you're in the bathroom almost getting high? We have to fucking talk about it Finn. If you don't talk to someone you're never going to get better. If you don't want me to fucking help you then I don't know what you want me to say. If you don't want me to help you then I'm not with you anymore. That's it. If you want to be with me and you want me in your life, you'll have to just accept the fact that you have someone who actually wants you clean and isn't just trying to take advantage of you to get your money. I don't know how you expect me to be with you and ignore the fact that you're trying to get clean. Because god, Finn. I swear. If you start this again I really don't know if I can keep doing this. I mean it. I really don't think I can go through you spending every single second of your life high again. And I won't do it. I'm trying so hard to be there for you because no one else is. And if you don't want anyone in your life to help you, then I don't know what to say, Finn. I really don't know what to say."

Finn shook his head. "Stop telling me I sound crazy. I don't care if it's crazy, it's what I wanted. I wanted you to not be a part of this and you know that. I never wanted you involved in my addiction and that was why I pushed you away. That was why I left that day because of Jamie." When she moved to sit down, Finn stood by the foot of the bed as he looked at her, feeling his heart break in his chest when he could see how emotional she was getting. As she started talking, telling him that if he didn't want her help, she wasn't with him anymore, he felt his eyes well up with tears. He looked down at the floor as she spoke, him feeling a few tears fall down his cheeks. Finn quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand and he knew that this whole situation was the most difficult one he had ever been in. He had never had someone in his life the way he had Rachel and while he loved her, a part of him was scared of her and he was pretty sure he always would be. What they had was so intense and he didn't feel like he deserved it. He didn't feel like he deserved her. "I don't want you to leave me," he whispered softly as he crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes still refusing to meet hers as he looked down. "I don't know what to do," he breathed out. He could feel his hands shaking still and he clenched them into fists in an effort to get them to stop. "This is effecting you too much and I - I'm just trying to protect you and you won't let me. You just told me you couldn't be the only one to help me. That you couldn't do this all for me but then you - you tell me you're gonna leave me if I don't let you help me?" Finn paused for a moment as a shaky breath escaped his lips and he knew he just wanted to disappear. He just wanted everything to be over already. "I don't want to keep ruining your life, Rachel. I told you that I was a mess. With or without the drugs, I'm a mess. And if you don't want that, that's okay. I'll go right now if you want me to," he said softly, his voice shaking as he tried to hold himself together. "I've been clean for a little over a week now. And when I'm not thinking about the drugs or I'm not thinking about you, I'm thinking about me. I think about how I don't really like me, how I - I don't really want to be here sometimes. Do you think I want to talk to you about that? No. I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I just want it to stop and I want to be happy with you because you're my girlfriend and I love you." Finn paused for a moment before he finally looked up into her eyes, feeling his heart break as he met her gaze. "I'm in love with you. I want you. But I don't know what to say to make this okay anymore. I'm trying to be clean for you and I - I'm doing it. But I can't keep leaning on you like I have been and you can't ask me to do that to you. Because it's more than you know. It's so much more and I'm not letting you into it all - I can't and I'm sorry."

Rachel looked off to the side for a moment as he spoke to her, knowing that he had a point. She was incredibly confusing, she knew that. Rachel just knew that if she didn't help him, he wouldn't seek help from anyone else. He'd never go out of his way to get help because he was so content with where he was. While she knew that he wanted to get clean, it wasn't that simple -- his mind was just not in a good enough place to do it alone and without rehab or without someone to talk to, there was no way that he'd be able to really do this. "I know I sound fucking stupid. But I know you, Finn. I know that if I don't help you that you're never going to get help and that's terrifying to me. I don't know what you want me to say, Finn. If- if we weren't together, I'd still want you to get help and if something ever happened to you, I'd feel like shit." She really knew that she'd always be worrying about him no matter what. He would always be on her mind. " You aren't ruining my life, Finn. I'm in love with you, too. I love you so much, babe," She whispered as he finally met her gaze. "I know that you're really trying and I love you for it. I love that you're trying to be better and you're trying to be the best you can be. And I know how impossible it feels. But you're making progress and that's amazing. And I'm... I'm not asking you to tell me everything, you know? I- I understand that there's some stuff that goes through your mind that you feel like you can never tell me and... and I understand that. But I- I'm here for you, whether you like it or not. I'll try and be better at living my own life and doing my own thing, but until you're clean for longer you know that I'm going to be up your ass about it for a while. It's only been a week. You were almost back at square one this morning," Rachel told him, a soft sigh escaping her lips. "I'll try and stop being a crazy bitch about you doing this and I- I'll try and be me more. But you have to understand that even if you want me to not go crazy over you, I'm still going to. I love you. That's what I do. I worry about you. And even if you're clean for years and years, I'm still going to worry about you. You'll just have to accept that." 

Finn bit down on his lip as he looked into Rachel's eyes while she spoke. He was confused what she wanted from him and he was confused what he wanted from himself as well. There was so much conflict going on in his brain and he just wanted it to stop. He just wanted to feel normal again and escape the constant struggle that he was going through mentally. "I know you're here for me no matter what and that's one of the reasons I love you," he said softly. "A-And I know it's only been a week. I know you're worried a-and I'm worried too, I am but I'm trying. I promise I'm trying." Finn looked at her with sadness in his gaze and he knew that he just wanted to be the man that she needed. He wanted to be good for her and prove everyone who doubted him wrong. "You're not a crazy bitch, don't call yourself that. I just want you to be you - not only focusing on me." A sigh escaped his lips as he looked at her before he moved to sit on the bed beside her, him taking her hand gently in his and lacing their fingers together. "I love you more than anything, Rachel. I know you're always going to worry about me and I know I have to gain your trust back when it comes to drugs but I'm going to do it. I've been clean for a week and I - I'm gonna keep going no matter how hard it is because I want to be the kind of guy that you'll be proud to call your boyfriend." Finn offered her a small smile before he looked down at their hands and he knew that while he wasn't happy with himself that he'd find a way to be happy because he had Rachel. She was all he needed to be okay and he knew he was going to do the best he could to make her proud. "Next time there's a party I think I'll stay away from it for now. And I should probably not drink anything either. If I'm gonna do the whole sober thing I guess I should commit completely." Finn looked into her eyes before he pressed a soft kiss to her lips, pulling away slowly and squeezing her hand gently. "I hope one day I am clean for years and years and we can finally put all of this behind us."

[hudson-finn]

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My right hand woman. I fucking love you.

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[hudson-finn]

Falling in Reverse

Tagging: Finn & Rachel Location: Rachel’s House Notes: Rachel brings Finn home for Spring Break.

Rachel honestly was kind of nervous to bring Finn to stay with her parents for spring break. Obviously, she knew that they'd like him otherwise she wouldn't bring him home to meet them. And Rachel really didn't bring that many people home to meet her parents -- she couldn't remember that clearly, but she was sure that the last person she brought home to her parents was back in high school because she had went with them to prom. And this was way different than that. As Rachel drove with Finn towards her parents' house, she went to turn down a different street and looked over at Finn for a moment before bringing her gaze back to the road with a slight smile on her lips. She honestly was excited for her parents to meet Finn, but she was nervous for something to go wrong. "I usually bring Chloe here for spring break, and I mean, I'm sad that we're kind of fighting and not talking right now, but I'm definitely glad that you're here. Doing stuff at home is just kind of... routine, I guess. Like when I come home again. But... I don't know. Doing it with you will be kind of... new, in a way. I get to re-experience things." She told him as she went to turn down her street before turning into her driveway. "Don't be nervous or anything, okay? I promise they're going to love you the second they meet you. They're really chill and fun and just... understanding. They love to just talk and get to know people so... it'll be nice. And I- just be yourself, okay? Don't worry about trying to put up some front or something." When she took off her seat belt, she offered him a smile before taking in a deep breath. "Okay, let's go." She told him before getting out of the car and moving to grab her small suitcase from her trunk. She still did have clothes at home, but it wasn't nearly enough. She went to walk up to her door with Finn and she grabbed her home key from her key ring before letting herself in. "Mom? Dad? We're here," She said loudly into the house, taking off her shoes and throwing them by the door.

Finn couldn't believe that Rachel really wanted him to go with her on Spring Break. A part of him knew it was because she was scared to leave him alone for a long period of time and he didn't exactly blame her. He didn't trust himself most of the time either. "I feel bad that you two are still fighting. I know you keep telling me not to say it but I still feel bad for causing all this and I - I promise I am gonna get clean soon," he told her despite knowing that he had no clue what "soon" was. When they pulled up in the driveway he could feel his heart racing and when she told him that her parents would love him, he looked at her doubtfully. "I mean, not being nervous is easier said that done, you know. I'll try but I'm gonna have to put up a front regardless since I don't need them knowing I use heroin," he told her. Finn let out a shaky breath as he got out of the car, him grabbing his bag and slinging it over her shoulder. When he looked up at her house, his jaw dropped slightly. "Oh, you're fucking loaded," he breathed out as they stepped inside. When she called out to her parents, he tried his best not to look like he was nervous and he followed Rachel's lead and slipped his shoes off. Finn gripped onto his bag tightly as he followed her into the house, him managing a small smile when he saw both her parents walking towards them. "Um - hi Mr. and Mrs. Berry. I'm Finn - it's... it's nice to meet you. Your house is amazing. Thank you for having me." Finn didn't know what to say to Rachel's parents. He had never really met any girls parents before and him and Rachel weren't even official. Plus, he had no clue what she had told them about him in the past.

Rachel didn't want Finn to be nervous, but she knew that he would be. It was obviously a huge thing for him to meet her parents and she knew that it wasn't exactly where he expected to be for his entire spring break. She knew that things would be a little strange for them to be in this situation -- they were always together, yes, but it wasn't like they had one of their parents looking at them for most of the day. "Finn, shut up, I'm not that loaded." She told him softly as she looked at them. Rachel started to walk towards the kitchen where she saw her parents with a couple of wine glasses and some snacks. As Finn introduced himself to her parents when they walked towards them, she tried not to laugh. "Yeah, this is... this is Finn. I met him last semester when we had a class together." She said before moving to hug her parents. "I missed you guys. I'm glad to be home again and eat some real food. I've been bothering the girls to make me food or I've been getting postmates a lot," She said with a laugh after she hugged her mom and went to stand next to Finn again, her holding onto his arm gently as she kept close to him. "I can't believe it's already Spring break, though. Pretty soon it's going to be the summer. And then I'll be really bored at home for a few months." Her mom laughed and shook her head. "You have so much to do here, there's no reason for you to be bored. And it's nice to meet you, Finn. Rachel has told us pretty amazing things about you," She said before offering him a smile. "Rachel doesn't bring a lot people to meet us, so-" Rachel groaned, looking at her mom. "Please don't." Rachel told her, her dad chuckling before moving to extend his hand to Finn to shake it. "I'm Jack, Finn. It's nice to meet you. And this is my wife, Shelby. If you need anything while you're here, just let us know. Rachel can obviously get you settled in, but don't feel weird going in our cabinet or our fridge for food. Just... make yourself at home. While you two might be enjoying your spring break, we'll still be working some days so we'll be here most of the time, but you'll get to have your own fun." He said before looking to Rachel. "I'll get him settled in and everything and I'll show him around. And don't force us to hang out with you all of the time. We can do dinner and go out on the water or something but I want to do our own thing."

Finn raised his eyebrows when Shelby told him that Rachel had said amazing things about him. He had no clue what that could be but he knew for a fact once he was alone with Rachel that he would be asking her about it. When her father held out his hand, Finn shook it and offered the older man a small smile. So far things seemed to be okay but Finn couldn't help but find himself feeling shy and nervous. He was not a shy person at all but he was terrified of making a bad impression on her parents. He was terrified that they were going to hate him and see that he was a burden on Rachel's shoulders. However, he figured they probably had no clue that he was living with her and they obviously didn't know his situation. "Well I um, I'm excited to get to know you both. Rachel has obviously told me a lot about you guys and, you know, the boat. I'm looking forward to that," he said with a small smile. The second they had a moment away from her parents so they could put their things away, Finn felt like it was just a little bit easier to breathe. "Rach, I can't believe this is your house," he whispered as they walked up the stairs. "I mean, you keep saying that you guys aren't loaded but you seriously are," he said with a laugh. "And what amazing things have you been saying about me to them?" Finn knew that this whole situation was a pretty big step for whatever they were and while he wanted to make a good impression with her parents, he was certainly looking forward to getting to just spend time with Rachel as well. The second they stepped into her room, he set his bag down as he looked around with a small smile on his face. "This room is so you," he said with a laugh. "Am I... am I staying with you or in a different room? Because I don't know what your parents are cool with or whatever but I don't want to piss them off if I stay with you in here."

Rachel walked up the stairs with Finn and she smiled gently at him. "Finn, I mean- It doesn't feel as amazing as you probably think the house is because I grew up here. I mean, it's nice, yeah. But I just- it's... home, I guess. It doesn't feel that amazing to me." She said with a soft chuckle before walking towards her room. "And my neighbors have a lot more money than us. I mean, my parents have good jobs, so they've been pretty well off since they got out of college." She said before walking into her room. "And hey, I just told them about you. Just... how you are. I don't know. I play up how sweet you are to me and how you're really spontaneous and just... a lot of stuff. There's stuff I'd talk about with them that's just stuff we did together and little stories. I don't know," She said with a soft chuckle, feeling her cheeks heat up slightly. She honestly did sit on the phone with her mom sometimes about him and talk about all of the good things about him and while she did talk about her problems too, she knew that her parents definitely knew that he really cared about her. "And yeah, it is kind of me. I begged my dad to let me redecorate in my senior year and I've just added a lot of sorority pictures and stuff since I've been in college. And Finn, you definitely can stay in here with me." She said before putting her bag down on her floor and running a hand through her hair. "They have a lot of the spare rooms in here full of my mom's clothes and stuff. And they have like... hobby rooms and shit. They're so lame," She laughed as she went to look at Finn with a smile. "I mean, we just can't be loud," She said with a soft smirk. "But they're all the way at the other end of the house, so I mean, we're fine. I'm a big girl, they can't really tell me that I can't have a boy in my room. If I'm bringing a guy home, I think they know that we're having sex." While her and Finn were pretty serious, she also knew how confusing things were between them. She just hoped that this break helped them figure things out. "I don't think you'll pass up staying in here with me, but if they get weird about it, I mean, we can pretend you're sleeping in the other room. But I know that they won't care." Pausing for a moment, she offered Finn a small smile. "Uh, my parents also want to take us out to dinner tonight somewhere nice. So I don't know if you brought a nicer shirt or anything, but they made reservations somewhere for all of us. They want to get to know you and everything, I guess."

Finn couldn't help but smile when Rachel told him that she talked to her parents about how sweet he was to her and little stories of things they did together. Obviously he knew there were things she left out but it made him happy that she cared about him enough to tell her parents about him because he knew that was a big deal. She wasn't going to bring just anyone to her house for spring break and yet she had chosen him. "Hobby rooms? That's just a rich person thing," he said teasingly. When she told him that they couldn't be loud, he raised his eyebrows and felt a small smirk pull up at the corner of his lips. "I mean, I obviously want to stay with you. I stay with you at home and I want to stay with you here." Finn loved falling asleep next to Rachel and he especially loved waking up in the morning with her beside him. "They want to take us out to dinner?" he asked softly. "I um - I don't know if I brought anything nice but I'll check. Is this why you took me shopping the other day?" Finn couldn't help but laugh as he grabbed his bag, him setting it down on the bed before he unzipped it. He searched through it for a few moments and when he saw a button down shirt, he let out a small sigh of relief. "This is definitely why you took me shopping." Finn grabbed the shirt from where it was packed and set it down on top of the bag before he turned to face Rachel. He offered her a small smile before he stepped closer to her, his hand slipping around her waist and tugging her towards him before he pressed a kiss to her lips. "Thank you for taking always taking care of me," he whispered as he pulled out of the kiss. Finn knew that he was pretty dependent on Rachel and while he felt guilty about it, he was also grateful for her because he knew that she kept him from falling apart on a regular basis. "I'm gonna impress them tonight," he told her as he turned back to his shirt. "Should I keep these pants on or should I change into a nicer pair? And I - I don't have nice shoes or anything, I just have these sneakers," he said as he started digging through his bag again.

Rachel chuckled softly when he talked about her taking him shopping. "I mean, I just know my parents. I didn't know for sure that they'd take us out, but I figured they would. I mean, they usually take me out for a nice dinner when I come home from school so it's like... just a nice family thing but I figured they'd make you join or make it special for you. Plus, it's kind of a parent's job to ask you a ton of questions when you're with their daughter," She chuckled as she looked at him looking through his bag. As Finn wrapped his arm around her waist slightly, she smiled up at him and kissed him back softly. "I just want you to be comfortable. If I knew that you were going to get taken out by my parents and I didn't get you something or at least warn you, I'd feel shitty. I just- I want you to feel comfortable. I don't want you to feel bad because you only have a t-shirt or something, you know?" She said softly, her rubbing his arm gently as she stayed close to him. "Babe, you're fine like you are. Don't stress that much. You're perfect the way you are. I'm going to wear a nice shirt and jeans, so just... don't freak out about what you're wearing." Rachel was positive her dad would probably be wearing something nice, but she knew that her parents obviously understood that they were just college kids and not some millionaires with tons of money to throw away on clothes. "After dinner we can just spend some time together. We can take a walk or something, if you want. Or I have a fire pit outside and we could start a little fire or something with some drinks. We have a lot of options. And then tomorrow we can actually do something fun. Just you and me," She told him, a small smile on her lips.

Finn didn't want to start freaking out about having dinner with Rachel's parents but he really did want to make a good impression. He knew that their relationship was confusing but they had been in a good place - in a stable place - for a while now and he was ready to start proving to himself and to everyone else that he deserved her. Of course he knew that had to start with him getting clean but he wasn't about to cause himself to have withdrawals when he was meeting her parents for the first time. When she told him that he was perfect the way he was, he smiled softly at her and sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to freak out I just want everything to go well," he told her. "And I like the sound of that. A walk, sitting by the fire, whatever it is, I'm good with either. And I like the sound of getting to do something fun together tomorrow. Are you gonna take me out on your boat?" Finn looked at her with a playful smile on his face before he shifted his gaze back to the shirt. "Alright, let's see how this looks." Finn tugged his shirt over his head before he pulled on the button up, him moving over to the mirror in her room and looking at himself as he buttoned it up. "Thank you for getting me something with sleeves," he said softly. Finn knew that he was going to have to keep his arm concealed from her parents because if he didn't, his scars were going to tell him that he used heroin before anyone else did. Once the shirt was buttoned, he turned back towards Rachel and offered her a small smile. "Do I look alright, babe?" he asked her. "It feels like it fits pretty well so I think you're actually really good at shopping for me," he said with a laugh.

Rachel knew that Finn wanted things to go well, and she was happy that he wanted her parents to actually like him. Rachel knew that she needed this just as much as he did. She needed them to like him, especially because she wanted him to be in her life for a long time. She wanted him to be with her and she didn't want things to be confusing anymore. She just wanted them to be happy and normal and she knew that they were able to, they just needed some time. "Of course I'm going to take you out on my boat. We'll get some beers or something and just chill out there for a little bit and have some fun. It's not like... a huge boat but it's nice." She told him, a small smile on her lips. "You'll probably think it's huge, though." As Finn changed into his shirt that she got him, she smiled sadly as he thanked her for getting one with sleeves. "I figured that if you wanted to, you could still roll it up a little bit. And uh, I just- I wanted you to be comfortable. And you look really handsome," She whispered softly before moving over to him, wrapping her arms around him and leaning up to kiss him gently before pulling away and moving towards her closet to grab one of her tops to change into quickly taking off her top that she was wearing and changing into it. "Oh, uh... I also got you some foundation that I hope is your color so I can cover some of the marks up for you if you do want to wear other shirts. Because I mean, it's hot, babe. And I don't want you feeling forced to wear long sleeves all of the time," She told him before fixing her hair slightly and looking in the mirror. "Also, please don't be that person when we go out who orders like a... small soup because you feel bad. My dad will literally kill you if you order something small like that. Just... get whatever you want. And I'd say you can get dessert too, but I'm kind of hoping dessert is at home." Rachel wanted to tease, especially since she just wanted them to have fun and just enjoy their time and not feel like he had to constantly be worrying about staying covered from people.

Finn laughed when Rachel told him that he would think her boat was huge. "Of course I will, babe. Because your parents are loaded," he said playfully. When she told him that she wanted him to be comfortable in the shirt she had bought for him, he couldn't help but smile softly. "I look handsome, huh? Thanks, Rach." They shared a soft kiss before she moved towards her closet and Finn looked at himself in the mirror once more, him rolling up the sleeves of his shirt slightly. It wasn't often that he dressed nicely and he couldn't help but feel a little better about himself as he looked in the mirror. He looked normal. No one around him could look at him and know he was an addict and he truly felt it was the first time in a long time he could think that way about himself. When she told him that she had bought foundation for him to hide the marks on his arms, he looked at her in surprise. "Really? I mean... if you think that will work I'd like that, obviously. Because it is really hot." He couldn't help but laugh as she spoke about dinner, him smirking at her dessert comment. "I promise I will get whatever I want on the menu and I will definitely wait on dessert," he said as he stepped closer to her, him wrapping his arms around her waist. "I'd say let's have the appetizer before we get there too but you just got dressed and did your hair. I don't think I'd make a good impression on your parents if I sexed you up right when we first got here." Finn smirked as he looked into her eyes before he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her passionately for a moment. When he pulled away, he couldn't help but smile and he knew that this was the first time that he felt totally normal in a long time. "You look beautiful by the way. I mean, you always do but, damn," he said softly. "You ready? I have some impressing to do tonight if I want to win over my girl's parents."

Rachel couldn't wait to just spend time with Finn and for her parents to get to know him. Rachel had a feeling that her parents would love him and they definitely had appreciated the stories that she told about him and all of the really amazing things that they had done together. Obviously, she had left out a lot of the things that Finn didn't want them to know, and she knew that his addiction was something that they definitely didn't need to know about. It wasn't what defined him and Rachel didn't want them also being concerned about him twenty four seven like she was all of the time. "Yeah, it'll work." She told him, offering him a small smile. "I just don't want you worrying about it. I mean, it won't be waterproof, but it'll be good throughout the day." As he moved closer to her and went to kiss her, Rachel smiled against him for a moment before kissing him back and wrapping her arms around him slightly. "Mm, you're making it hard to say no to the appetizer. I think that we could manage a good ten minutes before we have to leave," She told him softly, her biting down on her bottom lip. "And thank you." She told him, offering him a small smile. "Rachel, come on. We're going to leave." She heard her mom yell up the steps, Rachel sighing as she pulled away from Finn. "You don't even need to try, Finn. Don't worry." Her mom would definitely love him just because he made her happy and respected her and while her dad would take a bit more to win over, it wouldn't take much at all. Rachel went down the steps and once they got downstairs, she went to grab onto Finn's hand gently. "Okay, we're ready." She said before following her parents out and to their car, getting in the backseat with Finn and sighing softly. It was a little weird, honestly. Being in this situation with Finn. But she was happy to be experiencing this with him at the same time. As her dad started driving, Rachel looked over to Finn and offered him a small smile. "I'm starving. I feel like we haven't eaten in days. The drive wasn't long but we haven't eaten since breakfast, I think. I've been running on coffee most of the day and I'm definitely excited for some food," She told her dad, him chuckling. "You're like your mom. You always have coffee in your hands. Or wine." Rachel laughed, seeing her mom slap him playfully on his arm. "Hey, I don't drink that much wine. Mom is the worst. She gets wine drunk making dinner all of the time. Finn, you should have seen her the night before I went away for college the first time. I think she was just drinking because she was so emotional, but she definitely had way too much wine and she was crying because I was packing my suitcase," She laughed gently, shaking her head. "Rachel, you know that I was upset. And you act like I'm an alcoholic. I enjoy wine. So does your father. It's the adult juice, I can't be judged," She said teasingly with a smile.

Finn couldn't help but smirk when Rachel said that they could manage a good ten minutes before they had to leave. However, before anything more could happen, Rachel's mom was calling to them up the stairs telling them that they were going to leave. "I mean, I'm going to worry even when you tell me not to. You know me, Rach. I haven't really done the whole 'meet the parents' thing before." He followed her down the stairs and when she took his hand in hers, he couldn't help but smile softly. While him and Rachel obviously acted like a couple all the time, it was different being around her parents. Everything felt more serious and he knew that it was because their relationship was becoming something serious. He didn't know how because he knew she could do better than him but the way she looked at him and the way she spoke to him made him know he had to stop pushing her away. She wanted him and it was a miracle but he was grateful for it. Once they were in the car and Rachel spoke, he nodded in agreement. "I'm just always hungry," he said with a laugh. As they started talking about Rachel's mom drinking wine, he couldn't help but laugh. It felt nice to be with a family that felt so normal, especially when his family was so not normal. God, his parents hated each other and he knew a simple car ride like this was next to impossible. "I mean, Rach, you do like your wine. Now I guess I know where you get it from," he said playfully. "I wish I liked wine but I could never really get into it. I'm more of a whiskey or beer kind of guy," he commented. As they drove, Finn took Rachel's hand in his and smiled over at her as he laced their fingers together, him leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek. He pulled away from her and shifted his gaze out the window and he couldn't help but feel content. It made him happy to feel normal and while he knew that in a few hours he'd be really needing more heroin, he was enjoying a brief moment of getting to feel like everything was okay. When they arrived at the restaurant, Finn got out of the car and moved over to Rachel, him looking at the place with wide eyes. "This looks really fancy. Are you sure I look okay?" he whispered in her ear as they followed her parents inside.

Rachel loved to spend time with her parents and even if she loved being away from them at school to be able to do her own thing. And honestly, she loved getting to be able to have her mom's cooking and to get advice from her mom, but without going away to school, she wouldn't have ever met Finn and she definitely couldn't imagine her life going any differently. Of course, every single person in her life told her to stay away from Finn, but she couldn't imagine not having him. And honestly? Now that she was so involved with Finn, she couldn't imagine not knowing what would happen to him in the future. As they continued to drive, she smiled as he intertwined their fingers, her looking over at him after he pressed a kiss to her cheek. A small smile rose on her lips and she rubbed her thumb over his skin as they sat next to each other. Once they got out of the car, she chuckled softly at his words. "Yeah, you look perfect." She told him, her squeezing his hand gently. "I promise. Stop acting like i'm some millionaire taking you to some five star restaurant." She said softly before following her parents over to a table that they had reserved previously over the phone. Rachel sat down next to Finn and she went to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "Get anything you want, Finn. Don't be shy. You look like you have my kind of appetite," Her dad laughed as he opened the menu and started browsing over it. Rachel smiled gently as she looked down at her menu. "How did you two meet again?" Her mom asked, Rachel clearing her throat. "Uhm, in class. We had film together. Just a random elective. And then we met up again at a party I went to for a sorority thing. He had a few friends in the fraternity it was at," Rachel explained, knowing it wasn't a total lie. "We just kept hanging out after that." They definitely had a long few bumps in the road and while they made it where they did, she knew that things still weren't perfect. "And what are you studying, Finn?" Her dad asked, Rachel looking over at him before moving to look at Finn. Honestly, sometimes she forgot that Finn wasn't studying anything and while she definitely hoped that he'd find some kind of way in the future, she knew that a lot of things weren't possible for him with the state of his addiction.

Finn knew Rachel wanted him to stop acting like she was so rich but it was difficult to do so when she was. However, he knew he had to stop acting like it was a big deal because to her all of this was normal. Once they were seated at their table, Finn looked up at Rachel's father as he spoke and he laughed softly. "If your appetite is endless, then yeah, we have the same one," he said before he looked down at his menu. His eyes widened slightly when he saw the prices but he reminded himself to just ignore them. When her mom asked how they met, he looked up from the menu before looking over at Rachel. He nodded as she spoke. She wasn't lying - that was how they met - but he figured it was good that she left out the fact they really met by him inviting her to do lines of coke with him at a party. When Rachel's dad asked him what he was studying, he felt his stomach sink and any confidence that he had been gaining start to slip away. He was a total loser and he was so terrified that her parents were going to want him away from her the same way Jamie and Chloe did. "I - I actually am not in school right now," he said softly, hating how nervous he sounded. "I was a Communications major though. It just... wasn't for me. So I'm just taking a break to decide what I want to do." If getting a DUI and having a felony for drug possession was a break, he figured he was kind of telling the truth. It scared him to know that if her parents wanted to, they could easily find all this information out but he hoped desperately they would just believe him. Finn didn't know what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, especially when his days consisted mostly of thinking about when he was going to get high next. Finn looked from Rachel's parents back down to his menu, feeling his heart racing in his chest as he tried to just focus on the words in front of him. He felt himself starting to want to get high to escape what he was feeling and he knew he had to get himself together if he wanted to make a good impression somehow.

Rachel looked at her parents when Finn said that he wasn't in school right now and she tried to gauge their reaction. When she didn't see immediate disappointment, she was grateful that they were at least not judging him instantly. She really didn't want them to judge him especially when they really didn't know much of anything about him. When she saw her dad about to speak, she took in a soft breath to try and immediately start to think of an excuse to back up his words. "I mean, that's alright, Finn. College in general isn't for everyone. I went through a lot of school but I also followed exactly what my parents did and went to law school. Maybe you could find a trade that interests you. One of my best friends only went to community college and they're really successful now. So you could just finish out your associate's too. You'll find your way, I'm sure." Rachel was surprised by his words, but she also was happy that they were making him feel comfortable and not judging him instantly. Rachel looked over at Finn for a moment and moved her hand to his arm gently to rub it soothingly. She pointed to something on the menu and offered him a small smile. "This is really good, if you're overwhelmed with what's on the menu. I used to get that all of the time," She told him before looking back at her own menu. "Oh, Rachel, how's Chloe? I know that she's helping you with the sorority this year," Her mom said, flipping through the menu. "Uhm, we're kind of fighting right now. I mean, I hope that we'll work it out eventually, but she made a lot of mistakes. I mean, I'm not perfect either but I'm not forgiving her that easily." Rachel said before putting down her menu and sighing. "I'm honestly so excited for the summer. I can't wait to just... be home for a bit and get away from everything. I love the sorority and stuff but I mean... mom, I really don't know how you did it. Being in the executive board and being the president kind of sucks sometimes. I bother Finn a lot with my problems but even he gets tired of it," Rachel said with a teasing smile, her mom chuckling. "I bothered a lot of people with my problems, too. It was rewarding, but it definitely was a challenge. I don't know how you're doing it all, but I'm proud of you. Hopefully she doesn't rant to you too much, Finn. I know how crazy she can get. In a good way, of course."

Finn looked up from his menu and at Rachel's father in surprise when the older man told him that college wasn't for everyone. "I - yeah. I'll have to look into trades and other options," he said softly, offering him a small smile. When Rachel rubbed his arm, he looked at her with adoration in his gaze and smiled as she spoke. "I was looking at that, it looks really good." When Shelby started asking Rachel about Chloe, Finn bit down on his lip, knowing that this whole situation was yet another thing that was because of him. "I think you and Chloe will work it out," he told her. He wanted them to be okay because he knew how important that friendship was to Rachel and he didn't want her to lose that. As Rachel spoke about the sorority, he laughed softly. "She doesn't rant to me too much and I don't mind anyway because I know it helps her get it all off her chest. I'm honestly like... amazed by how well she balances everything. I've never met anyone more in control of everything than your daughter. I swear, I would have gone crazy already if I had as much on my plate as she does," he said with a soft laugh as he turned to look at Rachel. He felt himself relax a bit just being able to talk about her because she was his comfort zone. She was the person that he could be totally honest with and about and he knew he could talk about her for hours if someone let him. "In our class together she was always keeping me on track and if I ever missed a day or something, she'd come to my apartment with notes all written out for me," he said with a small smile on his face. When a waiter came over to their table to take their drink orders, Finn ordered before focusing back on Rachel. "So, Finn. Tell us a little about your family," Shelby said softly. "Oh um, my family is pretty boring, honestly. My mom is a nurse and she lives with her boyfriend like... two hours out of Austin and my dad is a veteran and he inspects aircraft's now, it's pretty cool," he told them. "I live with my dad, though. Like, when I'm not in Austin." Finn hadn't spoken to his dad much since he had been kicked out other than to tell him he was staying with Rachel and that he was okay but out of both his parents, he knew he was always going to be closer to his dad. His family was a mess but he found himself getting more comfortable just being honest with Rachel's parents about his life since they seemed pretty open to who he was.

Rachel rolled her eyes playfully as she heard Finn talk about her. "Finn, I literally don't handle it that well. I try. But I mean, I do complain to you a lot about the girls," She laughed gently. "You would be able to handle it. You do so much more than you give yourself credit for. And you basically help me with everything I do, even homework because you're there with me every second when I'm working, practically. And you endure my crazy eight hour library trips during exam season." Rachel honestly was so grateful for Finn and she loved that he always wanted to be with her. As they continued to ask Finn some questions, Rachel smiled gently and looked at her menu again for another moment before she put the menu down and looked towards Finn for a moment. She really had never met his family other than his dad, and well, he had walked in on them both on the floor of his house and she was sure that even if they had sat for dinner together, he was still unsure of her. Finn didn't talk too much of his family, but she knew that she wanted to meet his mom one day to at least know who she was. "Inspecting aircrafts? That is definitely a pretty cool job. Way more exciting than my job," Jack laughed before thanking the server as they brought back the drinks they had ordered. After ordering their actual food, Rachel looked to Finn for a moment and moved to rest her hand on his arm for a moment in an attempt to be close to him. Rachel was happy that he at least seemed a little calmer than he did when he got here, especially because she just wanted him to feel at home. Rachel didn't want her parents to intimidate him in any way. "Dad, can I use the boat tomorrow?" Rachel asked him, him looking at her before sighing. "You haven't driven it in almost six months. Do you really think you can do it?" Rachel looked at him before taking a sip of her water. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm really good at it. You know I am. I'll take good care of it and I won't crash. I wanted to take Finn out for a while. I've been hyping it up for a few weeks. I was just going to bring some food out there and hang out. Swim and stuff." She said, also looking to her mom. "Yes, you can use it. Just don't do anything stupid. And don't get drunk and try to drive it home." He said, taking a sip of his wine and looking to Finn. "I'm placing my trust in you to make sure she doesn't take the boat home drunk. Let her wait it out," He said to Finn before chuckling. "And I know you guys want to do your own thing and we'll both be working a lot, but we have a few things planned so we'll let you know if we need you. We'll probably just bother you for boring stuff." Rachel sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Just... don't worry. We'll hang out and we'll make time for you guys too. But I want to show Finn around."

Finn was relieved that Rachel's parents were so nice. He knew she had assured him that they would be but he really hadn't known what to expect. Finn was more than aware of the fact that if they knew everything he probably wouldn't be their favorite, but he was determined to try and show them how much he cared about Rachel. After they ordered their food once they received their drinks, he took a sip of his before he looked at Rachel when she moved her hand to his arm. He smiled softly at her and rested his hand on top of hers, his thumb brushing against her skin soothingly before he looked to her father when she asked the other man if she could use the boat. "She has been hyping it up a lot," he said with a laugh. "I'll make sure she gets the boat back safely. She's been talking about it too much for me to let anything bad happen to it." Finn laughed as he looked at Rachel before he looked back to her parents. He was actually happy that they had things planned for all of them to do and he knew that this Spring break was probably going to be the best one he ever had. It had been a long time since he felt like he was a part of something stable but when he was with Rachel, everything in his life was so grounded in the best way possible. "I'm gonna get the grand tour of your home town?" he asked Rachel with a small smile. "I'm excited. And I'm looking forward to meeting your friends too," he told her. Finn moved his hand to rest gently on Rachel's knee beneath the table, him squeezing gently as he looked into her eyes with a small smile on his face. She was so perfect and he knew that his feelings for her were just growing stronger each and every day. They lived together and if that wasn't proof enough that they were a strong couple, he didn't know what was. "How long has this been going on anyway?" Shelby asked as she gestured between them with a knowing look in her eyes. "Oh um - I mean, our first official date was us getting burritos," he said with a laugh. "And that was like... a couple months ago, right?" Finn looked to Rachel and offered her a small smile as his gaze met hers. "But she's been my best friend since we met. It was weird, we clicked like... instantly."

Rachel nodded as Finn asked her about getting the grand tour of her home town. "Of course you will. I mean, I have a lot of awesome restaurants to show you and old places I used to hang out in high school and stuff. Plus, like you said, I want you to meet some of my friends. Not all of them are home, but... a lot of them are. We might just have a little party or something at someone's house. Something chill, probably. Like a pool party or just something around a fire to all hang out." She said with a soft shrug before feeling his hand move to her leg. Honestly, it was the little things that made her fall for him even more than she already had. She really did care so much about him and she couldn't imagine her life without him at this point. She had just meshed so much of her routine with him and she was positive that it would feel like a different life if he ever were to leave. As her mom asked about them, she bit down on her bottom lip. "Wow. Way to make it sound romantic. Burritos. I mean, he's not lying, but you could have made it sound better. Like, oh, wow, we went on some super romantic walk and ate at this nice mexican restaurant on our way home," She said with a soft giggle as she looked at him. "But yeah, I mean, we did click pretty instantly. We've been hanging out practically every day for months, but yeah, I mean, us getting food one day was the first official date, I guess. It's just... nice, I guess. To have him be my friend first. It means more," She said softly as she looked at him before looking to her mom who was smiling at them. Rachel knew that her mom had pretty much been waiting for her to have an actual relationship with someone who cared about her and well, Rachel really had wanted it too. While she had always said that they wouldn't be official until he was clean, she knew it was stupid when they were honestly practically official now. There was no difference at all, but she did want him to get clean because she knew that their relationship could really be so much more than it was now just on an emotional level. "Maybe he can stay with us for a little bit in the summer or something. Or on vacation. You always let me bring Chloe," She told them, her dad nodding. "You know our house is always open to your friends. And we'll see about vacation and all of the other details. For now let's enjoy having you here for spring break. You're practically forcing the boy to stay with you all year non stop," Her dad laughed. Rachel chuckled and rolled her eyes. "I'm not forcing him. Just thinking of options in case he doesn't have plans. I'm trying to think ahead, dad."

Finn wanted to meet Rachel's friends and he figured a house party would be pretty fun. He'd keep himself tame around them, of course, but it had been a while since he had been to a party and he couldn't say he wasn't looking forward to one. "Are burritos not romantic? That's what we did," he said with a laugh. It made him happy that her mom was smiling at them and he really did feel like he had her parents approval for the most part. He knew this whole break was going to be a test for him but he felt like he was doing fairly well so far. As she started talking about him staying with them for a little bit in the summer or going on a vacation, he felt a smile pull up at the corner of his lips. She wanted him with her all the time and it made him so happy to know that since he felt the exact same way. "I mean, if Rachel wants me here, I have no problem visiting," he said. He knew better than to comment that they actually did live together and were together non-stop for the most part since he was pretty sure her parents had no clue about their living arrangements. "It's gonna be weird when the summer comes around to like... be away from each other. I didn't even think about that," he said softly. Finn knew he was going to have to figure something out when the time came and he was honestly a little scared of what the future had to hold. Sure, he wanted to be clean and have his life somewhat together by then but he just didn't know if that was going to happen no matter how much he wanted it to. "Every summer me and my dad always go camping somewhere new. We've done it ever since I was little. Maybe you could come with us this year." Finn didn't know if the camping trip was going to happen since his dad had him at arms length while he was using but he hoped he could somehow get his dad's trust back. He hoped he could just have some kind of normalcy the way he used to. "I don't know if you've ever gone fishing but we usually do that while we're camping too. I mean, you have a boat so I'm assuming maybe you've been before," he said with a soft laugh.

Rachel definitely loved their first date. It was nice to think back on their first date because it had definitely happened after an absolutely crazy day. Honestly, their first date, even though it had been absolutely random, had been something that she loved thinking about. Rachel never had thought that they'd be together at this point, let alone have a first date. "I know. It'll be weird to be apart for the entire summer. I mean, I hope we'll figure it out. I know we will. Even if we just... see each other every week even if we can't see each other every day. I just- I love that we have options, though. I mean, you could definitely come here no matter what. We're so used to seeing each other every day that actually being apart is going to be so, so weird." She told him, offering him a small smile. As he offered to take her along on his camping trip, she raised a small eyebrow. "Oh, she can fish, Finn. I mean, I used to take her out on the yacht every day to fish when she was younger. She loved it. She's not that outdoorsy, but she enjoys the water." Her dad explained, Rachel nodding as she looked at Finn. "Yeah, I can fish. I'm not a total girl," She said teasingly, hitting him on his arm gently. "I used to love fishing. I mean, now, I use the boat to just... hang out and spend time with friends but it's definitely something awesome to fish off of. I don't know if I love camping, but I'll give it a shot if you end up going again this year," She told Finn, her smiling gently. Before anyone could speak again, the waiter came over with their food and served them quickly, Rachel thanking them before starting to eat. "I can't wait for this semester to be over, honestly. It'll be over before we know it. Honestly, we only have a few more weeks. I'll start dragging you to the library again, babe," She said with a laugh as she continued to eat her food. "I'll make you my personal tutor. You can quiz me with all of the flash cards I'll make." It was nice to always have Finn with her. While she wished that he would have friends who truly cared about him more than just her, she loved that she got to spend all of her time with him. She never got tired of him and she just always wanted more. She always wanted to experience things with him. "You'll have to help me pack up my room for the summer and load my car up, too. That's going to be the absolute worst."

Finn felt good making plans with Rachel for the future. It made him feel like there was something to look forward to in a time in his life where everything felt so completely up in the air. He had no clue if he would be able to get a job because of his felony, he had no idea if he was going to be able to get himself clean and he definitely was ensure if he was going to have a place to go when summer came along. All he knew was that he had Rachel and he hoped having her would somehow guide him to become better too. He didn't want her to feel that pressure, of course, but he did depend on her more than he wanted to have to. "If we go again this year I definitely want you to come," he said softly to Rachel. "And we'll have to go fishing then, I'll have to test your skills." When the waiter arrived with their food, Finn licked his lips at the sight of his dish. It looked amazing and he knew he had definitely never eaten at a restaurant this nice before. "I have no problem being your tutor. Honestly, studying with you is the most I've ever studied and I'm not even in school anymore," he said with a laugh before he took a few bites of his food. "And of course I'll help you pack everything into your car. Moving will suck but the break from school will be just what you need." Finn looked down at his plate for a moment as he tried not to think about the fact that Rachel had to go back home at the end of the semester. They didn't have much time left and he was scared to be away from her for months at a time when summer came along. A sigh escaped his lips before he took another few bites of his food. He hated how unknown everything was and while he obviously wanted to stay with Rachel, there was no way in hell he could be the way he was and stay at her parents house with her. It just wasn't going to work and he wasn't going to do that to her. "Only a few more months and you'll be a college senior," he said with a small smile as he looked over at her. "I can't believe how fast time is flying by."

Rachel couldn't wait to experience more with Finn. They spent so much time together that sometimes it was a little crazy to think that there were so many things they hadn't done together. There were plenty of days where they simply did nothing and just lounged around all days and there were other days where they explored so many different places and just did everything they could think of together. However, with Finn's constant routine that he had, it was impossible to do a lot of the things that she wanted them to do together. As he talked about packing up at the end of the semester, she smiled at him gently. Rachel had thought a lot about what would happen when they went on their break. She was terrified of something happening to him and she knew that while they couldn't be with each other twenty four seven anymore after the semester, she still wanted to make sure that she could see him as much as possible. "If you think time is flying by, think about how it feels for us being her parents. I feel like she started grade school just yesterday and in a year she's going to be graduating college," Her mom laughed, Rachel shaking her head. "I'm not going to be your baby forever. I have to grow up eventually. And you can't even act like you don't talk to me a lot because I call you all of the time about stuff for the sorority. So you can't complain that my life is flashing before your eyes. It could be worse, i could not talk to you for weeks and weeks between semesters, and then you'd definitely feel worse," Rachel said with a soft laugh before taking a few more bites of her food and putting her fork down. "And anyway, school is the last thing I want to think about right now. I'm enjoying this break as much as possible before I even have to think about taking notes next week. Plus, I mean, I want Finn to be able to see all of my home town and I want to have fun before we need to worry about anything else. And after this, I definitely want to be able to do something fun with Finn and without you guys. No offense," She said with a grin before sitting back in her chair. "I'm finished, too. I'm so full." She said with a content sigh as she shut her eyes for a minute. "Is there anything you want to do later?" She asked Finn, looking over at him with a soft smile. "I mean, I know you don't really know the area at all but I figured you maybe had an idea of what you want to do."

Finn laughed softly as Rachel's mom told him that time was flying for them as Rachel's parents. "I bet she was the cutest kid too and now she's the boss over at her sorority," he said with a small smile on his face. As she spoke, he finished off the rest of his food and when she finished as well, he looked over at her as she sat back in her chair a bit. She seemed so content and relaxed now that they were back in her home town and with her family and he knew she needed this. Whether she admitted it to him or not, he knew she was stressed at school. Between classes, the sorority, tension with Chloe and his situation, he knew it wasn't exactly easy for her. However, he was relieved to see her having the time to just forget about everything else and relax. When she asked him what he wanted to do, Finn looked at her and shrugged, him offering a small smile. "I mean, I'll do whatever you feel like doing, Rach. You know me, I'm not too picky," he said softly. "I just want to see the place where you grew up and have you show me all your favorite things to do." He truly didn't care what they did while they were here because all that mattered to him was getting to spend time with her. For once he finally felt like they didn't have anyone around them judging them or watching them and he just wanted to let that set in for a little while. "I'm sure you already have the week planned," he said with a soft laugh as he reached to take her hand gently in his, him lacing their fingers together as he looked into her eyes. "You probably planned our whole itinerary in your planner that you're always writing everything in." Finn smirked playfully as he squeezed her hand gently before bringing his hand back to his lap, him leaning back in his seat slightly as he let a content sigh escape his lips.

Rachel knew that they honestly could do just about anything tonight and this entire week. There were so many options and she just wanted to be able to enjoy her time with him no matter what they were doing. As he told her that he didn't care, she nodded as she looked at him. Rachel really didn't really mind what they were doing either, but she wanted to make sure that she didn't force Finn to do anything that he didn't want to do. Obviously, he usually went along with a lot of stuff that she did but she didn't want him to feel obligated to do certain things just because he was here and in her town. "I mean, I don't have the entire week planned. I definitely had... daily activities that I wanted to do. Like, I have a general idea of what I wanted to do each day with you but the rest of the day is just kind of random. Today I figured my parents would drag us out for dinner so I didn't really have much planned. Maybe we can just take a walk around the bay or something. There's a resort that my dad has access to that we can just use for their beach access. I mean, it'll be nice. Just... a nice little walk and we can grab dessert or something maybe later or on the way home. I know a really awesome ice cream place." When the waiter came over to ask them if they needed any boxes or dessert, her dad simply asked for the check and handed the waiter his card. Rachel turned herself a little bit more towards Finn before she moved her hand to rest on his arm slightly. "I think that no matter what we end up doing, we'll have a good time. I'm just... excited to have some time away from everything." When the waiter came back she heard her dad clear her throat and Rachel saw him finish off his drink. "Are you two ready to go?" Rachel heard her dad ask and she nodded before grabbing her purse from the side of her chair. "Yeah, I'm ready to go. When we get home, we might head out. I don't know. But don't wait up for us. We might be out late."

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "A walk sounds nice to me. And I'm definitely down for any kind of dessert or ice cream, you know that," he said with a laugh. When Rachel turned towards him, Finn turned towards her a bit as well and he couldn't help but smile softly as he looked into her eyes. "We always have a good time together, baby. I'm excited to have time away too. I don't think I realized how much we needed it until we got here," he said softly. When Rachel's father asked if they were ready to go, Finn nodded and moved to get up from his seat. He took Rachel's hand in his as they headed back towards the car and after a fairly quick trip, they were back at her house. "Can we just go up to your room before we head out?" he whispered in Rachel's ear once they stepped out of the car. The second they were in her room, he let out a small sigh as he quickly moved from the door over to his duffel bag, him digging through it. "I'm starting to get anxious. It's just... it's been a while," he said softly. He was trying his best to keep his heroin use as low-key as possible, especially on this little trip but he also couldn't just stop using. Even if he was going to start getting sober soon, he wasn't going to do it on this trip and get extremely ill at her parents home. When he was home, he usually used in the morning, a few times during the day and before he went to sleep. Being at Rachel's parents house meant he really was only going to have the opportunity in the morning and at night because the last thing he wanted was for them to notice anything off. "I'm just gonna use a little, you know? Not anything close to what I usually do. You won't even notice," he told Rachel. "I just... I need something to keep me going before I start getting the shakes." Finn felt bad because he knew she hated this - she hated his addiction and while he hated it too, he couldn't just stop now. When he grabbed a small bag of heroin from his bag, he looked over at her with guilt in his eyes before he quickly prepped the needle. Finn rolled up his sleeve and shot up, him closing his eyes for a moment as he focused on the amazing feeling that spread through him. It wasn't as intense since the dosage was much smaller, but it was definitely going to hold him over. "Okay... okay, I'm okay. I'm ready to go," he breathed out as he turned to face Rachel, him quickly tucking everything back into his bag.

Rachel was incredibly glad to go home, especially because she wanted to just be able to spend some time with Finn alone. Honestly, she knew that Finn probably wanted the same thing. While her parents weren't by any means horrible or incredibly annoying, spending forever with them definitely wasn't her plan. Her plan was to experience new things with Finn and get closer to him by showing him around where she called home. Rachel didn't want to worry about anything right now, she just wanted to enjoy whatever they could in their vacation. As soon as they got back to her house, she nodded as Finn spoke in her ear and started to walk up towards her room with him. As soon as she saw him going towards his bag, she sat down on the edge of her bed and she sighed gently. Rachel didn't want to always seem upset by his use of drugs, especially since Finn knew how she felt. It wasn't like she hid how she felt from him -- they had multiple conversations about it all of the time and Rachel didn't want to upset him. While he shot up, Rachel kept her eyes on him and she didn't look away until he spoke and started to stuff everything back into his bag. Rachel stood up off of the bed and she ran a hand through her hair before she looked up at him. "Okay," She told him before walking over to him and leaning up to kiss him softly. "If you... if you don't want to go out, we don't have to." She told him, rubbing her hand along his side gently. "But if you... if you still want to go out, I was serious about that walk. I just want to spend time with you without my parents watching over us all night," She said softly, her wrapping her arms around him gently. "But I'm more than content with just... laying around here if that's what you want, too."

Finn tugged his sleeve down as he turned to face Rachel and when she moved over to him, he offered her a small smile. They shared a soft kiss and he bit down on his lip as she pulled away. She really did mean the world to him and he knew that he had to figure everything out so he could stop letting her down. Even though she didn't really say anything anymore about his drug use, he knew how she felt about it and he did want to stop - he did. He was going to. He just wasn't ready yet. "No, no," he breathed out, him shaking his head as he moved his hands to rest on the curve of her hips. "I want to go out," he told her. While he certainly felt like his body was heavy and sluggish, he also knew he was fine. He could easily seem normal to anyone who didn't know him very well. "We lay around at home. I want to go for a walk with you. And I... I want to see your hometown and get some ice cream." Finn offered Rachel a small smile as he dipped his head down to press a kiss to her lips, him deepening it for a moment before he pulled away. Once he pulled away, he pecked her lips quickly once more and he couldn't help but smile as he looked into her eyes. "I'm not letting this effect our trip," he said as he gestured to his arm. "I know you'd rather me not use, obviously but I... I can't start getting clean here and basically have the flu all week. So I just... I'm just gonna use a little during the day here and there and I'll be fine. No one will notice anything and I'll just be... I'll be good, babe," he told her. "I promise when we get home I'm gonna start being better, you know? I'm gonna be better for you." Finn nodded at her before he let out a soft breath, him zoning out for a moment before he focused back on Rachel. "You ready to go?" he asked her as he held out his hand for her to take.

Rachel hoped that Finn was a little bit more coherent since he didn't use as much, though she knew that he was never exactly the same when he was sober and when he was high. Rachel obviously had been with him when he was sober and when he was high but she was honestly a little nervous to see what he really was like when he was consistently just sober. SHe wanted him sober. That was all she wanted. But she knew that it would be a huge change for him and she definitely knew it would be a huge change for her. In a good way, of course. She just wanted some normalcy and she didn't want to have to worry about him getting clean. She just wanted him clean so he could finally live a normal life again. As he agreed to go out, Rachel nodded and looked up at him as he spoke to her. "Okay." She said softly, looking up at him. "I want you to be better. You know that," She said before she went out to reach for his hand. "I'm ready to go, yeah. The drive is short," She told him before starting to walk out of her room with him, holding onto his hand tightly. She looked back at him with a small smile before continuing to walk out to her car with him, passing her parents and seeing them sitting in the living room. Rachel went to the car and unlocked it before letting go of Finn's hand and getting into the drivers side before starting up the car and starting to drive. "I'm happy that you're here, babe." She said softly as she turned down another street and looked over at him for a brief moment. "We don't need to be out for a long time if we get bored or anything. I mean, I don't think we'll get bored, but... it'll be nice. I'm happy to just spend some time with you doing something new. Austin gets boring sometimes, so I mean, we have a nice change of scenery, I guess." She said as she continued to drive, looking out at the scenery. It hadn't been that long since she had been home, but it definitely was weird to drive around here again since she was so used to being at school and driving there. "I love where school is, but I- I really love it here. I love being near the water. The restaurants. My friends. I'm not close with a lot of them anymore, but I still have a few. School is nice, but I mean, I don't really have much of anything there. I have you. And I mean, I have my sorority and everything, but it's not exactly the same anymore." Rachel turned down another street and slowed down to turn into the parking lot of where she wanted to go. She parked and looked at him for a moment before smiling gently. "Come on, let's go try and recreate our really lame burrito date minus the burritos," She whispered with a teasing smile before she unbuckled her seat belt.

Finn followed Rachel down the stairs and out of the house, him getting into the passenger seat of the car. He looked out the window for a moment as she started to drive before he brought his gaze back to her. "I'm happy I'm here too," he said softly. "I don't care how long we're out, babe. It's like... impossible for me to get bored when I'm with you anyway. Plus, being somewhere new is really nice." As she talked about being home versus being at school, he looked at her sadly. "I like it here a lot. It's really nice. I've never been on the bay like this, you know? If I was on the water it was camping with my dad by a lake, nothing like this. But I feel bad things at school aren't the same. Because of Chloe, right? And that's because of me." A sigh escaped his lips as he looked out the window at the scenery passing by and he knew that he felt bad for hurting her relationship with her best friend. When the were parked, he looked at her with a small smile on his face before he got out of the car. He blinked slowly for a moment as he looked down at the ground before he moved over to Rachel. Finn slipped his hand gently into hers and laced their fingers together before they started walking, him truly just enjoying the feeling of getting to be with her like this. "It is really pretty here," he said softly. "I feel like everywhere I look could be like a desktop background or something." Finn had never really been anywhere this nice and a part of him was just amazed that this was where Rachel had grown up all her life. "Am I going to get to meet some of your home friends?" he asked her. "Because I'd like to. I mean, I just kind of want to know everyone that's important to you because you're important to me." Finn smiled for a moment as he looked down before he looked into her eyes. "Do you think that your parents liked me? They were really nice but I couldn't tell if it was just because they're nice or if it was because they didn't hate me. When your dad was asking about school I thought I was gonna pass out."

Rachel shook her head immediately as he talked about Chloe being his fault. "It's not your fault. It's her fault that she doesn't support me. Finn, if she didn't like any of my boyfriends, it would be the same thing. She would be a bitch about it. This isn't just about you. She's being ridiculous," She told him, shaking her head. She did miss her friend, but she wasn't going to continue to worry about it when her friend clearly didn't care about it. Plus, just being a part of the entire plot to get Finn away from her was enough to make Rachel cut off all contact entirely. As soon as they were out of the car, Rachel smiled as he took her hand and started walking with her. "Yeah, it's really pretty here. I didn't really appreciate it until I got a little older, but it was really nice growing up here. It's not all amazing, I mean, a lot of people are snobs and their kids are really annoying so I didn't have too many friends growing up, but I'll definitely make time for you to meet them. I think we're having a low key party at one of their houses one night. Nothing crazy, I promise. Just like... some beer and a fire. No wild bass echoing through the entire house," She said as she started to walk through the hotel and towards the entrance to the beach. The sun was slowly setting in the sky and she was honestly so glad that it was later in the day because she could feel her tiredness catching up with her. "My parents loved you, I'm sure. They usually ask a lot more questions. At least when I was in high school. My boyfriend in junior year was interrogated by my dad over dinner one night, so I'm sure they liked you," She said with a smile as she went onto the small beach. "I love it here, but there's no actual big... beaches, I guess. Just small little pieces of sand and the bay. Nothing crazy," She told him as she continued to walk. "I think they're just happy that I have someone that makes me happy. My parents have a lot now, but they didn't start out that way. They worked really hard for everything that they have, you know? Maybe you don't have everything or I don't have everything and maybe you don't have a plan yet, but that's okay, you know? They just want me to be happy and they can see that you care about me and that I care about you."

Finn knew that no matter what he said that Rachel wasn't going to think that her problems with Chloe were because of him. She had so much faith in him and while he obviously loved that about her, sometimes he wondered if he really deserved it. He smiled softly when Rachel told him that her friends from home were having a house party. "It's been a while since I've been to a low-key house party. It sounds fun to me. I'm excited to meet them and that's probably the best way to do it." They walked together through the hotel to the beach and he sighed contently as he felt a cool breeze wash over them the second they stepped outside. The view was stunning and he knew he really had never been anywhere this serene before. When she told him that her parents loved him, he couldn't help but feel relieved. Her parents opinion of him was the most important thing and he knew that as long as they liked him that things would be okay. "I didn't really feel interrogated, I was surprised. I don't know what I was expecting but I really didn't think they would be so nice. Your dad, at least. I'm just... relieved it went well because I know how important their opinion is to you and I just - I want them to like me. I mean, I want someone in your life to like me and... and support us, you know?" Back in Austin, they didn't have much support when it came to their relationship and while they didn't need it, it always felt good to have people rooting for you. "I'm happy your parents can see we care about each other. I care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone and I hope I make that clear. I know that I have a lot to work on but nothing I'm dealing with stops me from wanting you," he said softly. As they walked together, Finn moved his hand from hers so he could slip his arm around her waist, tugging her into his side. "I know I don't have a plan for my future... like, I have no clue if I'm going to go back to school or what I even want to do for a career but I'm happy I have you, Rach. I feel like I'm alright when I'm with you."

Rachel didn't want Finn to worry about the approval from her parents. Honestly, she wasn't really that worried about it especially because it wasn't like her parents were going to hate him for no reason -- they wouldn't hate him unless he gave them a reason to. She just wanted him to worry about having a good time and just meeting all of her friends and family from home. "Yeah, they try not to interrogate. I mean, I also told my dad not to interrogate you when I told them that you were coming. Usually he doesn't listen, but I guess he did. Either that, or he actually liked you a lot. You have some charm," She said with a grin as she nudged him playfully. "They will support us. I mean, they've only seen us together for an hour, but they'll support us, I promise. And they still will if they find out about you." She told him as she offered him a small smile. As Finn went to wrap his arm around her, Rachel moved to wrap an arm around him as well, her holding onto his shirt gently. "We'll figure that all out , okay? I know we've said before that we'd consider getting a place after graduation, and I just- maybe if you start applying to schools or start looking into whatever you want to, we can move that way. I'll find a job anywhere, Finn. We'll figure something out." Rachel wasn't too worried -- she knew that things would happen for them eventually and they'd all figure it out. "I'm really happy that I have you, too. I just- I don't know what I'd be doing without you." She really did care so much about him and she couldn't imagine not having him in her life even if she was worrying about him constantly. "I know sometimes I'm terrified of losing you and other times I'm just... always worried but there's the times like now that I just- I couldn't imagine being with anyone else right now. Everything happens for a reason, right? And I- I know us meeting at that party was for a reason. And it brought us to this point. I've never felt this close to someone and I know that it's for a reason. It feels so good to have someone that really actually cares about me for me. And not just caring about me because they'll get something out of it. One day I just... hope it'll be easier. I know you'll get clean one day and I- I'm trying to wait. I am. I know it's going to be hard for you, I know. And I feel bad but you know that I'll help you through it and I'll do anything for you. That'll never change. And I just- I want you to be happy. And you can say you're happy now but you know that you're not."

Finn knew that Rachel would move anywhere for him if he found an opportunity somewhere and he was so grateful for that. While he obviously wanted to do something with his life, it was difficult for him to think about the future when it felt so bleak aside from her. He really didn't know what he wanted to do or what chances he even had to do anything with his record. A felony didn't exactly make his life easy, that much he knew for sure. As she spoke, he looked at her sadly and he knew that he needed to get clean to stop putting so much pressure on her. He hated that she worried about him so much because he knew it occupied her thoughts more than she even admitted to him. "Us meeting definitely happened for a reason," he said softly. "And I'm sorry that I'm making you wait. I don't want you to wait, I just... you know it's hard." Finn sighed as he looked down for a moment as they walked together before he shifted his gaze to meet hers. "I am happy though. I mean - with you. I'm not like... generally happy the way I want to be but when we're together and hanging out and stuff, I am happy," he told her. Finn knew he needed to find happiness in himself and not just his relationship with Rachel but if she was all he had right now, he was okay with that. "I'm just really fucked up in the head," he said softly, him shaking his head. "I don't know how it happened. A year ago I was normal, you know? Maybe all the coke I was doing caught up with me and then I just fucking fell apart. I'm not really sure." Finn sighed as he squeezed her side gently, him shaking his head before he offered her a small smile. "I'm just happy to be here with you right now. It feels good to be away from everything and everyone. Austin used to be the place where I felt on top of the world but it doesn't feel like that anymore now that all my friends are kind of gone." Finn shifted his gaze to the water that was gently washing up on the shoreline and he smiled softly before he looked down at Rachel. "How cold do you think that water is right now?" he asked her with a playful smile tugging up at the corner of his lips.

Rachel looked at Finn and smiled sadly as he spoke. "I wish you could just... snap a finger and be better, you know? But I know it's not that easy." She told him with a soft sigh. If there was a way to do things in an easier way, she knew that her and Finn would both take them, but they couldn't. They had to do things the hard way and that was just all they could do. "Well, I'm glad I make you happy but I do want you to just... be generally happy. And one day you'll have that. I know it might seem impossible but I promise that it'll be better. Things get better. They always have to eventually, even if things get worse first. Something always breaks," She said as she kept close to him. As she heard Finn ask about the water, she smiled gently and managed a soft laugh. "I think it'd be pretty cold. It's probably in the 60s. And if you have any horrible plan to get me in the water, I swear, I'll kill you." Rachel managed a laugh as she kept close to him before turning around in his arms slightly and stopping walking as she stood in front of him, wrapping both of her arms around his waist as she held herself close to him and looked up into his eyes. "Is that your master plan?" She whispered teasingly, her fingers rubbing along his back gently. "Getting me in the water and forcing me to freeze? Get rid of me for good?" Rachel couldn't help but tease, especially since she knew that a lot of their conversation was always so heavy. She just wanted them to have fun and enjoy each other and not always worry so much about the what-ifs even if it was what was always on their minds.

Finn wanted things to get better and he hoped that Rachel was right. He hoped they would get better because he needed them to. As he shifted the conversation to the water, he smiled as Rachel laughed. "The 60s isn't that cold. And I don't have a horrible plan," he said with a smirk as they stopped walking, her moving in front of him and into his arms. Finn slipped his arms around her waist and tugged her close as he looked down into her eyes. "My master plan? Babe, if I had a master plan, it definitely wouldn't involve getting rid of you," he said with a laugh. "Plus, no one should ever reveal their master plan." Finn smiled as he looked into her eyes before he slipped his hands down to rest on her ass, him raising his eyebrows playfully. It felt so good to be carefree with her and he couldn't help but laugh as he lifted her into his arms, him moving one hand to her thigh as the other moved to her lower back to support her. "And I mean, what if I do want to get you a little wet tonight?" he asked her teasingly as he moved closer to the water. "It might feel good, you know," he told her. Finn wanted this Spring Break to be an actual break from reality. He wanted to have fun with her and he could already feel himself relaxing the more time they were away from all their problems back in Austin. Finn smiled at her and pressed a kiss to her lips before he set her down on her feet gently. He glanced around at the empty beach before he started unbuttoning his shirt, him looking at Rachel with a playful smile on his face. "I don't get to be by the water much, I'm going in whether it's cold or not," he said as he pulled off his shirt, him tossing it onto the sand. He kicked off his shoes and started unbuttoning his pants before he tugged them down, dropping them onto the sand with his shirt. "You coming with me? I'll keep you warm, you know."

Rachel giggled softly as Finn lifted her up into his arms, her moving to wrap her arms around his neck to hold herself up against him. As he spoke, she felt a soft smirk rise on her lips. "Mm, I mean, I wouldn't object to getting a little wet tonight but I didn't think that this would be the way it would happen," She told him as she held onto him while he started to move closer to the water. "I'm sure it'll feel good, but I think my idea of getting wet sounds a lot more fun for us both." She honestly didn't believe that he'd actually be getting in the water, but she knew that he was pretty adventurous. As soon as he set her down, Rachel moved her hands away from his neck and she looked up at him, her raising an eyebrow as he took his shirt off. "Babe, don't go in. The water is going to be so much colder than you think it is." She warned him as he dropped the shirt onto the sand. "I'm not getting in there." She told him as she saw him continue to strip, seeing him kick off his shoes before moving to unbutton his pants. "There's no way you're getting me in there." She said, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked at him. Rachel didn't want to freeze. And she knew that while right now might be a good temperature for fishing, it wasn't exactly the best to swim in. Rachel didn't dare get in the water until it was at least over 70 degrees, and even then, she still got cold. As he asked her again if she was going in, him just in his boxers, she sighed and looked at the water before looking back to Finn, beginning to pull up on her shirt before tossing it onto his pile of clothes. "If I freeze, I'm going to kill you," Rachel said before moving her hands to her belt before starting to work at her jeans. "You're crazy, Finn. Absolutely crazy. We don't even have anything to dry off with. You know I have a pool, right? We could have just went in that." She said as she pulled off her jeans, Rachel fixing her underwear to ensure that they were on her correctly so they didn't look completely indecent.

Finn couldn't wipe the smirk off his face if he wanted to as Rachel kept telling him that there was no way he was getting her in the water with him even though he knew she would absolutely go with him. "Babe, it's so warm out here. It'll feel even warmer when we get out of the water," he said with a laugh. When she started tugging her clothes off and tossing them onto the sand with his, he couldn't help but smile. "No you won't. I told, you I'll keep you warm. And when we get back to your house later, I'll more than make up for it. I promise," he assured her as he looked into her eyes. "I know you have a pool, we'll go in that another time. This is more fun." Finn knew that he could be extremely impulsive and he loved that while Rachel certainly wasn't as impulsive as he was that she went along with him most of the time anyway. "Babe, we're on vacation. Stop complaining and start having a little fun," he said with a laugh as he moved closer to her. Finn dipped his head down to press his lips to hers, kissing her deeply before he pulled away. "I just want to have fun with my girl tonight. And I know the water might be a little cold but like I said, I'll warm you up tonight," he whispered. Finn smiled at her before he lifted her into his arms and started running towards the water with her. The second his feet hit the water he could tell that it was definitely cold but it wasn't freezing. He welcomed the cool water against his skin and he knew he was just enjoying getting to fuck around a little bit the way he used to. "Get ready babe," he said with a laugh before he tossed her into the water, him jumping in right after. When he resurfaced, he turned to face Rachel and he couldn't help but start laughing. "Fuck, that is cold," he said through his laughter before he moved over to her, him slipping his arms around her waist as he tugged her against him. "It feels kind of good though," he breathed out as he brushed her wet hair away from her face.

Rachel laughed at Finn's words and shook her head. "This may be a vacation for you, but it's my home. I don't need to jump in freezing cold water for fun, babe." She said, shaking her head. "But I'm not going to complain, okay?" She wanted to have fun, she did. But jumping in freezing cold water didn't exactly seem like the best time for her. However, she wanted to enjoy Finn and she didn't want to hold herself back just because the water would be a little cold. "I'm holding you to that," She said with a laugh as he picked her up into his arms, her smiling as she looked into his eyes for a moment. Rachel held onto him tightly before he started running and he threw her into the water, her screeching as she hit the water, her popping up out of the water and immediately wrapping her arms around herself. "Yeah, it's fucking cold," She told him, looking at him as he laughed. "I told you it was gonna be cold." As he moved over to her, she looked at him and went to wrap her arms around his neck, holding herself close to him to stay warm. Being with Finn was always just so amazing in the best possible way and she loved that he really had agreed to come here with her. As she looked into his eyes for a moment, she went to lean up to kiss him, her fingers threading into his hair slightly as she pulled him down to meet her. She deepened the kiss for a moment and she held onto him tightly before pulling away and going to lean her head against his chest as she looked out at the water, her hand dragging down his chest slowly. Letting her eyes shut gently, a soft sigh escaped her lips and she allowed herself to relax against him. Honestly, if Rachel could spend every day like this, she was positive that she'd be the absolute happiest girl in the world. And she still was when she was with Finn, but things felt so incredibly normal and she wanted to keep them like this. "I only ever do my crazy shit when I'm with you," Rachel spoke against his skin with a soft smile before pulling away from his chest to look up at him. "It's really nice. To not have to worry about doing normal stuff in front of the girls in the house. I just get to act like me and I really love that."

Finn held Rachel tightly against him to help keep her warm, knowing that he had to hold up his end of the bargain since he had actually gotten her to jump into the water with him. When she moved in to kiss him, Finn immediately kissed her back eagerly, his hand squeezing gently at her hip as their lips moved together. As she pulled away, he smiled softly at her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head as she rested against his chest. It felt so good to have her in his arms like this and know that they didn't have to worry about anything right now. He knew his addiction was a dark cloud that often hung over their relationship but he just wanted to feel like it didn't exist for a little while. When she spoke, he couldn't help but smile and when she looked up at him, he moved his hand up to gently cup her cheek. "I really love that too. You should always act like you, Rach. You're amazing," he told her. "And I like getting you to loosen up every now and then. That's how we were when we first met and that's how it's always gonna be," he said softly. Finn dipped his head down to kiss her once more before he pulled away slowly, a content sigh escaping his lips. "We probably should get out, shouldn't we?" he asked her with a laugh. "The water is pretty fucking cold if the air feels ten times warmer, isn't it?" Finn laughed softly before he lifted her into his arms and carried her out of the water, him setting her down on her feet once they were back on the beach. He slipped his arms around her and held her close to him to keep her warm and looked down into her eyes with a small smile on his face. "Thank you for being crazy with me," he said softly. "I know it's stupid to jump into the water when it's cold like that or whatever but I just... it feels good to just... do random shit sometimes, you know? It just makes me feel awake and... and alive and I feel like I need that reminder sometimes. You're always putting up with my shit and I wish I could express to you how much it means to me," he said softly as he looked into her eyes.

Rachel smiled as Finn spoke. She was honestly so happy that he was here with her and she wanted to always do crazy shit with him. Rachel just felt so alive and she loved being able to do everything with him to experience the world with him. As he brought up getting out of the water, she looked at him and chuckled softly. "You got me in here for less than ten minutes of water action? You must really be cold, huh?" She asked teasingly, her holding herself close to him as he went to pick her up to carry her out of the water. She smiled as she rested in his arms, happy to be close to him. While she was absolutely freezing, it was still worth the experience and she would be more than happy to be able to get a warm shower later. "It's not that stupid, babe. It's fun. You just... like to be fun." She told him as she looked at her. "And I don't put up with your shit. I just enjoy it. You make it sound all bad. You make me do new things, too. And I- I love to be able to do everything with you like this. I'll very gladly do crazy shit with you whenever you want me to." Rachel ran her hand along his back gently as she stood against him, warming his skin up while also focusing on getting herself warmed up. "We're not even going to be able to get our clothes on until we're dry," She laughed softly before she shivered gently and moved to rest her forehead against his chest for a moment. "Mm, this week is going to be really awesome. I can't wait to just focus on having fun for once and not worrying about assignments."

Finn he really did appreciate Rachel more than anything and he knew how lucky he was to have her. Even something small like this and just getting to have fun together meant the world to him. They always had fun together ever since they first met and he knew that was never going to change. They were friends first and he had never had that in a relationship with someone until now. "Don't tell me that because I'm just gonna keep getting crazier," he said playfully. He couldn't help but laugh when she said that they weren't going to be able to get dressed until they dried off. "I mean, I'm not gonna complain that I get to hang out with you half naked for a little while before we get dressed." He ran his hand up and down along her back as she rested her forehead against his chest and he smiled as she spoke. "This week is going to be perfect. I didn't realize how much I just needed to get away from everything. I know I'm not like working or in school but sometimes I just kind of feel trapped in Austin, you know? I don't have my license right now or a car so I'm just kind of stuck inside all day long. It's just nice to have a change of scenery." Finn sighed softly as he held Rachel in his arms, him stepping away from her for a moment. "You might have to lose the underwear, you know. It's just gonna make your clothes wet when you get dressed," he said with a playful smile on his face. "Plus, I mean, you're really not gonna need it when we get back to your house. I made some promises and I fully intend to follow through."

Rachel looked at Finn and felt a small smile rise on her lips. "It will be perfect. And I think we both needed some time away. Austin is really, really nice and I love the people I'm close to there but sometimes you just need to get away and you need to experience something else. Being trapped is never a good thing. You just... you need to break free of the four walls you're stuck in sometimes." As Finn pulled away from her slightly, she slowly moved her arms from around his waist and crossed her arms over her chest as he spoke. "I'm going to have to lose everything if I don't want to get my clothes wet. Bra and underwear." She told him, running a hand through her hair slightly and tucking it behind her ear. "And I know you'll follow through. Maybe you can follow through in a nice, hot shower when we get back because I'm not getting sand all over my bed." Rachel looked around them for a moment to make sure no one was watching them or near them before she leaned down to grab her shirt, holding it to her as she took off her bra and handed it to him before sliding the shirt on and looking into his eyes. "I'm leaving the underwear on. I don't need to flash the entire beach," She said with a soft laugh before moving down to grab her jeans, the fabric feeling warm against her skin as she slid them on and buttoned them before fixing her belt on her correctly. "I definitely need to shower. I can feel the sand all in my pants." It was a feeling that she was used to as she was younger and she definitely always had sand in her car when she was at home, but it wasn't like she could do much about it until they got home. Rachel picked up his shirt from the sand before handing it to him. "As much as I love you being half naked, you gotta put some clothes on so we don't walk through the hotel to get back to my car looking like we're insane. You can take it off again soon, though."

Finn laughed softly. "A nice, hot shower sounds perfect," he said, knowing that he didn't want to make a mess of her room when they got back to the house just because he had wanted to jump in the ocean. When she reached down to grab her shirt, he made sure to stand close to her so even if anyone was around, they couldn't see anything. He took her bra when she handed it to him and he laughed softly as she spoke. "I mean, you could flash me if you want to," he said teasingly as she pulled her pants on. "Yeah, the sand thing is the part I didn't think about enough." When she handed him his shirt, he raised his eyebrows and offered her a small smile. "You like me being half naked, huh? I'll definitely be taking it off again soon for you." Finn put on his shirt on before he leaned down and grabbed his pants, him sighing as he held the fabric in his hands. "If I put these on they're gonna be soaking wet," he said with a laugh as he glanced down at his underwear. "Fuck it." Finn pulled on his pants before he looked at Rachel, him still holding her bra in his hand. "People are going to think we were up to something," he said with a laugh. "I'll try and fold it up in my pocket." Finn folded the bra in on itself before he tried to shove it in his pocket. While the straps were sticking out a bit, he figured that was good enough for now. "So, I guess ice cream is out of the question?" he asked her teasingly before he reached to take her hand in his so they could head back towards the hotel and get to her car.

Rachel smiled gently as Finn talked about the sand. "I mean, hey. It's annoying to think about, anyway. I mean, I think people really don't think about the sand and then like... you go in the water and you step out and all of a sudden sand is stuck to literally every inch of you. And in places that sand definitely shouldn't be," She said with a soft laugh. "But it's still fun and it's so worth it." Rachel definitely loved the water and it was definitely wonderful that she had grown up here with her parents. As he held her bra in his hands, she laughed softly and nodded. "Babe, I think people would think we were up to something, anyway. I mean, people aren't in the water, as you can tell. And we're soaking wet," She laughed as he tried to stuff her bra in her pocket. "Ice cream is probably out of the question," She said as she started to walk with him, her hand in his. "If we want it later after we shower, I'm pretty sure there's probably ice cream in my freezer." Rachel continued to walk with him and she went with him towards the hotel so they could get to the car. "Thankfully I don't care too much about my car, otherwise I'd be pissed we were going to get it dirty." Walking with Finn, Rachel allowed herself to look down at the sand until they were finally at the hotel and she pulled her shoes back on quickly before continuing to walk with him and pulling her keys out of her bag. "I can't wait to get back. A shower is going to feel so amazing," She told him as she unlocked her car and got inside of it. "Plus, sleeping tonight is going to feel great. I feel like we've been going all day so it'll be nice to sleep," She said as she turned her car on and started to drive back to her house.

Finn smiled as he looked at Rachel while they walked together. "Ice cream in your freezer, huh? I might take you up on that. We'll have to see." Once they were at the hotel, Finn got his shoes back on, him walking with her through the building until they reached where she had parked. "I can't wait to shower too. And I'm definitely looking forward to sleeping," he said as he got into the car. He looked out the window as they drove back towards her house and he smiled softly to himself before he looked back over at Rachel. "I know this isn't really a vacation for you since you're just back at you house but I think it feels like one, you know? We just - we get to relax away from everyone," he said before he shifted his gaze downwards, a small sigh escaping his lips. "It sucks that I kind of... lost Jamie as a friend. I know he acted like an asshole but I just - I've been friends with him since we were roommates freshman year." Finn didn't want to have the falling out with his friend that he did but he also wasn't about to keep talking to Jamie when his friend clearly didn't care much about him. He understood not enabling him but he didn't understand trying to make Rachel hate him or make him feel horrible about himself. "It's nice to be here and just be away from all that drama, you know?" Finn offered her a small smile and when they finally got back to her house, he got out of the car and turned to face Rachel with a playful smile. "You parents are going to think we're crazy," he said with a laugh as he moved over to her, him leaning down to kiss her quickly before he started heading towards the house with her.

Rachel felt bad that Finn and Jamie weren't really friends anymore. It sucked that everything just started to spiral and they were all losing control, but she knew that all of it stemmed from his addiction, but their friends were also assholes. She hated that they were so horrible to them and their relationship and just to Finn in general. "I know you miss him. He is an asshole right now, but... he- he didn't have the right to do that shit to you," She said as she drove. "They didn't have the right to fucking lie to you and put you out on the street. They hurt you and they hurt me, too. They hurt both of us and they just... ruined so much shit for you. Maybe one day they'll apologize and actually be sorry, but until then, I'm not getting hung up on the fact that I lost my friend over all of that. I mean- we're in the same boat, kind of. You lost Jamie and I lost Chloe. I know it sucks, but maybe it'll all be fixed soon." As they got to her house, she laughed as she looked at him while they got out of the car. "They will. But it's okay," She said as she went to open the door, walking into the house with him and seeing her parents in the kitchen. "Why are you guys wet?" Her mom laughed, Rachel looking to Finn for a moment before shrugging. "Uhm, long story. Our walk turned a little interesting. We're gonna shower, though. And we might just watch a movie, so... if we don't see you, goodnight!" She said quickly, her grabbing Finn's hand and pulling him with her with a giggle as she started to walk upstairs towards her room. Honestly, she was incredibly eager to finally have some true alone time with Finn. "Don't get sand everywhere!" Her mom yelled after them, Rachel ignoring her and moving into her room with Finn before quickly shutting the door and locking it, moving to walk into her attached bathroom. "I'm going to have to clean my room so bad tomorrow. Otherwise I'll be walking on sand for days."

Finn followed Rachel into the house and he couldn't help but laugh when her mom immediately asked why they were wet. He was sure it was a strange sight to see, especially when it wasn't exactly the time of the year to go jumping in the water at the beach. When Rachel spoke quickly before tugging him up to her room, he couldn't help but laugh. "I'll help you clean, babe. The mess is kind of my fault, anyway," he said as he tugged her bra out of his pocket and held it up by the strap hanging loosely around his finger. "I'm glad I don't have to get this out of my way at least," he said playfully as he moved into the bathroom with her. He let it fall to the floor before he started focusing on getting his clothes off of him since he felt so uncomfortable. Finn unbuttoned his shirt as he looked at Rachel with a small smirk on his face. "You know what I noticed tonight?" he asked her as he shrugged the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. "You like me dressed all nice. I mean, I know a button down shirt isn't a suit or whatever but, obviously I don't usually dress like that. But, I don't know. Maybe I'll have to get more shirts like that since you clearly like it." Finn couldn't help but smirk as he looked into her eyes and he knew that he was relieved to have everything just feel normal between them. He pulled off his pants and once he was down to just his underwear, he moved his hands to Rachel's waist and tugged her closer to him. "Do I get to have you all to myself now?" he asked her as he looked down into her eyes before he pressed a kiss to her lips. "Because I have some promises to keep and I don't want to waste any time."

Rachel hummed softly in acknowledgement as he questioned her. "Hm?" She asked him softly, turning to look at him as she started to pull off her shirt to toss it into a pile with his clothes. "I do appreciate you dressed nicely but... I do like you in anything. It's sexy to see you dressed up, though. We can go shopping one day and I can have some retail therapy and you can get some new stuff. Like I said, I love you in anything you wear, but... I do love you when you're a little fancier. It'll be good to have more options to wear, anyway. As Finn tugged her against him, she nodded and leaned forward to meet him for a kiss. "Definitely get to have me all to yourself now," She whispered, smirking gently as she looked up at him. Rachel pulled away from him before moving to turn on the water and she made sure it was hot enough before pulling off her jeans and looking to him. "You did make me a few promises, but I know you'll hold up your end of the promise. And I'll definitely enjoy," She said softly with a soft smirk before turning away and leaning down to pull off her underwear before hopping in the shower and stepping under the water. "Are you coming in?" She asked him, running a hand through her hair. It was going to be great to just have some time with Finn, but she knew that she was definitely looking forward to ending the night on a very positive note. While obviously they had privacy back in Austin, having time in the bathroom and in other parts of the house and not worrying about someone walking in on them or bothering them was definitely a nice change.

Finn smiled softly at Rachel. "You don't have to buy me clothes, babe," he told her even though he knew no matter how much he protested that she was going to drag him to the mall at some point. When she moved over to the shower to get the water running before tugging her pants down her legs, his gaze followed the fabric of her jeans. God, he was pretty sure he'd never get over how a girl so tiny seemed to have the longest legs in the world. "I'm coming," he said with a laugh as he tugged off his underwear before he moved into the shower with her. The second the water washed over him, he let a content sigh escape his lips and he knew this was exactly what they needed to end the night on a positive note. After spending the night with Rachel, he slept easily through the night. When he woke up the next morning, he immediately knew it was early and when he saw Rachel still asleep beside him, he let out a small sigh of relief. Finn slipped out of bed quietly and prepped a needle for himself before he shot up, him quickly placing it back in his bag before he stumbled over to the bed. He wasn't sure how long he laid in bed high before he fell asleep but when he woke up hours later to the sun pouring in through the window, he groaned softly as he moved to sit up. He noticed that Rachel wasn't beside him and when he glanced over at the clock to see it was still early, he let out a small sigh of relief. Finn got out of bed before he slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, making sure his arms were covered before he walked down the stairs. "Rach?" he called out softly, not wanting to disturb her parents if they were still sleeping.

Rachel knew that she hadn't been sleeping amazingly lately. Honestly, she was terrified to sleep sometimes because she was scared of something happening to Finn. She knew he always said that he was fine and he could handle himself, but he was just more and more dependent on the drug he was taking and she didn't want to not notice something happening to him. Still, she managed to sleep most of the night before she woke up and went to look at the time, seeing the time flash an hour before her parents should honestly even be up and out of the house for work. When she looked over and saw Finn's chest rising and falling she sighed softly before getting out of bed and throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top before going downstairs and seeing a light on outside, her mom sitting on a chair. She walked out quietly and her mom looked over. "You scared me. What are you doing awake?" Rachel shrugged. "I couldn't sleep," She said softly, going to sit down in the chair that was next to her mom. "I just figured I'd get some fresh air, and here you are, too." Shelby laughed softly and nodded. "I'd be up in a little bit, anyway. It wasn't worth going back to sleep." Her mom paused for a moment before offering her a small smile. "How's Finn? Honestly? You're not having trouble sleeping because of him, right?" Rachel immediately shook her head and got more comfortable in her chair. "No. Not because of him at all. He's just- he's great. I promise, mom. I... I know you've met boyfriends of mine before in high school and it was for stupid stuff like prom or popularity stunts but... this is so much different. He's that first person that I've met that makes me really feel something," She said softly, looking out at the scenery for a moment. "He looks like he cares a lot about you. I can tell. I've only known him for a day, but I can see the way he looks at you. I'm happy that you have someone who really cares about you." Rachel looked down and nodded, picking at a thread of her pants. "I know. It's... I mean, some things are complicated. That's any relationship. And one day I'm sure I'll tell you all about everything that's going on but... none of that changes the way I feel about him. I met him and it's all cliche, but I know he was different. He didn't act like every other guy in college. I know you went through the sorority stuff just like I did. Every frat member just... wants one thing, and I'm not really into that scene. I'm so tired of things not meaning anything. And then I just found Finn and it's been really amazing. Everything we do is always amazing," She whispered, her mom nodding. "I'm glad. I- I want you to be happy, that's all. I don't care what the other person does with their life, I just want them to keep you safe and make you happy. I just want you to be happy and to... to have someone." Rachel looked down again, her biting down on her bottom lip. "I really love him, mom." She whispered, moving to look up at her mom again. "I haven't told him. I- A part of me is scared to. But I do. I'm just so scared to lose him and I know I should tell him but I don't know how." Her mom paused for a few long moments before smiling softly. "I wouldn't be scared. Anyone could tell from a mile away from the way that boy looks at you that he loves you, too. So don't be scared. Take chances, Rachel. Don't regret waiting and not saying anything." Rachel nodded and smiled softly. "I know. I just... I will say something. I just need the right time, I guess." She said before hearing his voice, looking inside the house to see Finn. Rachel walked through the open patio door and offered him a small smile. "Hey," She said, offering him a small smile. "Sorry. I was sitting with my mom before she went to work. I got up early and I couldn't fall asleep again. Did you sleep okay?" She asked him softly, offering him a tiny smile.

Finn called Rachel's name out softly and he couldn't help but smile as he saw her in the doorway to the patio. "Hi babe. Don't be sorry," he said softly as he moved over to her. "I slept fine. The usual." Finn offered her a small smile and he could tell just by looking at her that she really hadn't slept too well. He didn't think she slept well too often if he was being honest and he knew it was because of him. There had been plenty of times where he had woken up and caught her looking at him with concern etched all over her face. He understood her fear, of course. That he was going to never wake up one morning. She was aware of the fact that he shot up before he went to sleep and when he woke up and he felt horrible that him trying to keep everything from her was making things worse. All he wanted to to was try and protect her from himself but the closer they got, the more difficult that task became. "I can tell you've been up for a little bit," he said softly as he looked into her eyes, him bringing his hand up to cup her cheek. God, he was fucking in love with this girl. His thumb rubbed against her soft skin and he sighed softly. "Stop worrying," he whispered before he pressed a kiss to her lips. Finn pulled away slowly and smiled sadly at her before he looked up and saw Rachel's mom watching them with a small smile on her face. "Um - good morning, Mrs. Berry," he greeted. "Good morning, Finn. You're up early too. I thought you two were on vacation - what happened to sleeping in?" Shelby said with a soft laugh. "Rachel has this whole trip planned out so it's hard to sleep with all the excitement." Finn laughed as he stood beside Rachel, his hand moving to run up and down along her back for a moment. He wanted this break to be a moment to really relax for Rachel and he hoped desperately that she managed to.

Rachel was honestly terrified of losing Finn. Rachel tried to sleep well, she did. She tried to always make sure that Finn was okay and whenever he wasn't, she didn't know what to do. Honestly, she was just scared of sleeping throughout the night sometimes because she was a pretty heavy sleeper. If something were to happen to Finn while she was asleep, she was terrified to think that she wouldn't be able to help him or get help to him in time. As he spoke to her, she offered him a sad smile. "I couldn't sleep that well. It's okay," She said softly, shaking her head. "And you... you know that I'm always going to worry." There wasn't a day that she wouldn't be scared or where she would stop worrying. After he pulled away from the kiss, she leaned forward to hug him tightly, her wrapping her arms around his waist. Rachel only pulled away when she heard her mom's voice, her seeing her mom walking inside from her seat on the patio. Moving into Finn's side, Rachel smiled gently at her mom. "I can tell you two are excited to be on vacation, but you two need to take some time to relax. Unlike your father and I, you guys can actually relax and not work. Unfortunately, we don't get spring break. I wish we did. And unfortunately, I have to go to work now." Rachel let out a soft laugh and she shook her head. "I plan too much, we're eager to get out of the house and do stuff. I want to sleep in more when I'm at Austin." Her mom laughed and Rachel smiled gently as she held onto Finn's shirt gently. "I'm going to head to work for a bit, but you two have fun." Shelby went into the kitchen and put her cup in the sink before moving towards her room. "Have fun today. And Rachel, I'm glad we got to talk." "Me too," Rachel said before her mom went to her room. Rachel brought her attention back to Finn and offered him a small smile. "I'm surprised you're up this early. I thought that I'd have to wake you up in a couple of hours."

Finn wished Rachel wouldn't worry about him but he knew he wouldn't be able to get her to stop. It was just who she was. "We'll definitely make time to relax. By the end of this vacation we'll be sleeping until noon," he said with a soft laugh. When Shelby told Rachel she was glad they got to talk, he looked between the two of them curiously before he looked down at Rachel when she spoke. "I actually woke up earlier. I think it was like... four or something. I um... you know... and then went back to sleep. The come down probably woke me up," he explained. Finn smiled sadly as he looked at Rachel, him slipping his arms around her waist and tugging her close to him. "I know that you're always going to be worried about me but I need you to start sleeping better, babe. This has been happening for a while now and I don't want to keep you up all night because you're... you're scared," he whispered, making sure to keep his voice quiet since the last thing he wanted was for her mom to overhear their conversation. "You look tired and now I'm starting to get worried," he told her before he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Finn pulled away from her slightly and sighed before he looked into her eyes with a small smile on his face, knowing that he really just wanted to try and focus on the positive for this little break. "What were you talking with your mom about?" he asked curiously. "Were you telling her how amazing your heroin addict boyfriend is?" he asked her playfully before he shifted his gaze downwards. He knew it wasn't funny but he also knew he just wanted to make light or something that felt like such a heavy weight on his shoulders.

Rachel looked at him sadly as he spoke to her and she nodded. Rachel just knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep soundly no matter what she did. "I... I'm trying to sleep better. And I just- I'm usually a heavy sleeper but I don't know. I've just been waking up and I can't help it. It's been taking me longer to fall asleep and I've been getting up early and I usually just wake up for an hour or two in the middle of the night. I'm trying to sleep, I am. Okay? Just... don't worry." Rachel looked at him and she shook her head. "I'm fine," She said as he said that she looked tired. When he talked about her mom, she shrugged and she held onto him gently. "Uhm, we talked about a lot. We talked about you for a little but... we talked about a lot." They really only talked about him, but she just knew that she couldn't say that to his face. It wasn't bad, but she didn't need him to know about all of the details that they had talked about. "I did talk about how amazing I think you are, though. But... we haven't sat and talked for a long time like that because we've always been so busy and... I don't know. It was nice. I missed having my mom like that. I like being away from home but I do miss my parents. My mom and I used to be so close and now we don't get to talk as much so it's nice to have that time." She said with a small smile, shrugging before running her hand along his back. "I am excited to get out and do stuff today. I think that it'll be nice to do something... just for us. Plus, the boat will be fun. We can take food and some drinks out there and you can fish, if you want. Just be together for a bit."

Finn figured pushing the whole sleeping thing wasn't going to get anywhere when he knew Rachel didn't want him to worry about her just as much as he didn't want her to worry about him. God, they really were a perfect match. When she told him that she talked to her mom about how amazing she thought he was, he rolled his eyes and laughed softly. "Amazing, huh?" He smiled softly as he looked at her and he knew he really was so happy that he had decided to join her on her trip back home for Spring Break. "Well I'm glad you could hang out with your mom for a little bit. And, I mean, I'm sure you'll have more time later too. We have the whole week." Finn was definitely looking forward to the day ahead of them and he knew he was excited to go out on the boat and just relax with her. "I like the sound of going out on the boat and hanging out. It's gonna be fun. Plus, it'll really start feeling like a vacation, you know?" Finn smiled at Rachel before he moved closer to him, him dipping his head down to press his lips to hers. He started to deepen the kiss but when he heard footsteps on the stairs, he quickly pulled away from her. "I feel like I'm in high school," he said softly before a laugh escaped his lips.

Rachel smiled at him and nodded. "Mm, me too. I'm happy I got to talk to her. I know that I'm all grown up and stuff, but it's nice to still have my mom. I never was super dependent on my parents, but... I still love them and I appreciate spending time with them. I could go on some crazy spring break trip to some island but I choose to come home because I want to be with them. And I know they appreciate it, too." She told him, smiling softly. As Finn continued to speak, she nodded and looked up at him. "It will definitely feel like a vacation," She whispered, her smiling before his lips moved to hers, Rachel kissing him back before he pulled away, a soft giggle escaping her lips. "You're acting like you're in high school. I'm a big girl. You're allowed to kiss me, silly." Pulling away from him completely, she went to nod towards the steps. "Let's get dressed. We can pack some food and then get out of here and drive to the marina." She went to walk up to her room with Finn before she went to grab clothes to change into, pulling on a bikini set and moving to grab some jean shorts. "One day during the summer maybe we can take some kind of road trip. Go to California or something and have a vacation with no parents," She said with a laugh as she pulled on her shorts. "I'm looking forward to having fun out there in the water, but I'm also really excited to just... lay out on the boat and just relax with you. Be able to talk without people listening to us and stuff. I don't know. It's obviously private at my house but I don't need my parents eavesdropping or anything," She said with a soft laugh. "And maybe when we get back tonight we can do something you want to do. Even if that's just sitting inside watching Netflix or... or lounging outside or something. And we'll definitely fit food in there somewhere."

Finn laughed when Rachel told him that he was acting like he was in high school. "Babe, I might be allowed to kiss you but I'm not comfortable enough yet where I can go kissing you in front of them. I want them to like me first." Once they headed into her room, Finn pulled on a t-shirt and shorts, him smiling as she talked about going on a road trip. "That sounds amazing. Maybe I can figure out some way to get my license back by the summer so we can go. I don't want you to have to keep driving us everywhere, you know?" When she told him that she was excited to relax with him, he looked at her with adoration in his gaze. "I'm looking forward to it too, babe. Being alone with you is my favorite thing. And when we get back we can do whatever. Honestly, Rach, as long as I'm with you I'm having a good time so I'm down for anything." Finn moved over to her to press a kiss to her lips before he turned back to his bag, him hesitating as he tried to think if he'd be able to last throughout the day long enough without getting high. He bit down on his grip before he grabbed a little bag, him shoving it in his pocket. He figured he'd take it just in case and he could just snort it instead of having to shoot up since he knew how much it hurt Rachel to see him do that. When he glanced at himself in the mirror, he froze for a moment before turning back towards her. "Rach? Can you um... can you put that make up stuff on for me?" he asked her as he gestured to his arm. "I just - I don't want to look weird leaving the house in layers and I don't want them to see. I don't want anyone to see," he said softly.

Rachel looked through her closet to find a shirt to put on as he changed and spoke to her while he did so. "Okay. I mean, whatever works. If we want food later, we'll probably have to cook or grab food on the way home, though. I mean, I don't know if you want to cook, but you know that I'm not the best," She laughed softly as she pulled a tank top on. "Mm, I mean, we have easy stuff to cook here, hopefully. I'm not that much of a lost cause. What am I gonna do if we actually get an apartment like we've said? We're gonna starve if we don't learn how to cook well," She told him with a grin. As Finn spoke her name, she looked back at him as she brushed through her hair gently. "What? Oh- yeah. Of course. Hold on, let me get it." She said, moving towards her bag that was on the ground near her closet. She grabbed the foundation, powder, and a beauty sponge before moving over to Finn and offering him a small smile. "I'll try and blend it out, but... I don't know if it'll be perfectly your color. But if no one is looking, I mean, no one is going to notice." Rachel wasn't too worried about people noticing, especially because no one really had any reason to look at his arm. As Rachel put some foundation on the beauty sponge, she went to bring it to his skin, gently buffing the foundation on his arm where some noticeable marks were. She rubbed her thumb over one of them softly before looking up into his eyes. "The color isn't too off from your skin. I think it looks pretty good," She said softly, continuing to cover up the marks on his arm. After she covered them, she put some powder on his arm to cover it and she offered him a small smile. "There. I mean.. it's not perfect, but it does the job. I'll just give you a make up wipe later to take it off."

Finn smiled and shook his head as Rachel spoke. "We'll be able to get by when we eventually have a place together. And I know how to cook. I mean, I'm not Gordon Ramsay or whatever but I grew up with divorced parents, babe. I had to make myself dinner some nights," he told her. When he asked her to put make up on his arm, he smiled softly at her as she grabbed what she needed before moving over to him. "That's fine. I'd rather be discolored than have them notice anything else." He watched as she put the make up onto his skin and when she looked at him, he offered her a small smile. "It definitely looks better," he said softly. "I never thought I'd be thankful for make up. Thank you, baby." Finn leaned down to press a kiss to her lips before he pulled away from her and looked at himself in the mirror. "Wow, that's crazy. You really can't see them," he said before he turned back to face her. It gave him a peace of mind to know he wouldn't have to worry about her parents noticing anything. Sure, he knew eventually them finding out might happen but he really didn't want it to be any time soon - if at all. If he had it his way, he would get clean soon and no one would have any idea it ever happened. He was excited for the day ahead of them and he knew that it was going to be a perfect escape. Just the two of them out on the water on her boat was definitely the beginning of a vacation to him. "Alright, I'm ready to go when you are. Are we just grabbing food and bringing it with us or making something first? Because I'm gonna need more than just breakfast if we're gonna be out there for a little while," he said with a laugh.

Rachel nodded as he talked about not being able to see them. "Yeah. The power of makeup is very good. I mean, if I wasn't wearing makeup the night I met you, you probably wouldn't have touched me with a ten foot pole," She teased, a laugh escaping her lips. "Kidding. But... I'm happy that you'll at least be comfortable in some short sleeves all day. That way you won't need to worry. I mean, odds are, by the time we get home, my parents will be busy doing something, so they won't see you if you walk in if the makeup comes off." She shrugged before putting the makeup away in her bag and sighing contently. As he spoke again, Rachel nodded. "I'm ready to go. We can grab some food from my fridge. We should have like... stuff to make sandwiches or something easy." She said before going into her closet and grabbing a beach bag and a couple of towels and other necessities. "Let's head downstairs," She told him before grabbing her phone and rubbing her face for a moment to fully wake herself up. Rachel wished that she really could get a full night of sleep every night but it just was her new reality. It was hard to let herself relax fully with Finn during the night because she didn't want anything to happen to him and for her not to know but she knew that she needed to train herself to at least get to sleep faster knowing that he was okay. Rachel went through her pantry and grabbed some chips and other snacks before grabbing some water bottles. "Are you cool with just having some beer if we're going to drink? I don't know if there's really any... liquor or anything. Either beer or wine. And then we'll make some sandwiches and eat and head out of here. And you can see how hot I am when I'm driving a boat," She teased with a smile as she looked over at him.

Finn finished getting ready with Rachel before he followed her downstairs, him watching as she grabbed a bunch of food for them. "Beer is fine with me, Rach. I'm not picky," he told her. "And I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how good you look driving the boat." It didn't take them long to prepare their food and once they were finished, they headed off to her car. The marina wasn't far from her house and when they walked up to her boat, his eyes widened at the sight of it. Yeah, her parents were fucking loaded. "Are you even allowed to call this thing a boat? This is a yacht," he said with a laugh. "It has an inside part and everything." His eyes widened as he stepped onto the boat, setting the bag of food down in the cabin area. Once they were out on the water, Finn smiled softly as he looked around, enjoying the feeling of the wind against his skin and the sun beating down on them. God, this was definitely a vacation, that much he knew for sure. When they found a spot to stop, Finn looked at Rachel with a small smile on his face. "I can't believe my girlfriend can drive a fucking boat. You are honestly the most amazing girl," he said with a laugh before he tugged off his shirt and moved to sit in the sun. A content sigh escaped his lips as he leaned his head back and let his eyes close, enjoying the feeling of the sun on his skin. "It feels so nice out here," he breathed out as he listened to the sound of the water lapping up against the boat.

Rachel rolled her eyes playfully at Finn's words. "It's not a yacht. I mean, okay. Maybe it's the technical term. My dad calls it a yacht. To me it's a boat. It's not that crazy fancy yacht shit, it just has the basic stuff. But I mean, whatever. You can call it a yacht," She laughed as she started it up and started to drive it to get to an area where they would be able to stop and just have time to relax. After they did find a place to sit, Rachel smiled at him and took off her tank top and jean shorts as he took off his shirt. As Finn went to sit out in the sun, she smiled as she looked at him, happy that he was enjoying himself and the beautiful weather. "It is really nice out here," She told him before grabbing a couple of beers from the cooler that she brought before moving to straddle him, her letting a soft laugh escape her lips. "Here," She told him, opening the can of beer and handing it to him before opening her own and drinking a good amount of it quickly. She waited for a moment before leaning forward to kiss him, deepening it and wrapping an arm around his neck lazily to keep close to him. When she pulled away, she opened her eyes slowly and looked at him with a soft smile. "You're gonna be spoiled like I am while we're here and then we're gonna go back to Austin and think it's shit."

Finn looked over at Rachel as she went to grab a couple of beers from the cooler, a small smile pulling up at the corner of his lips as she walked over to him and moved to straddle him. "Thanks, baby," he breathed out, him wrapping his arm around her waist as he took a long sip from the can. When she pressed her lips to his, he kissed her back passionately, his hand squeezing her hip as he tugged her impossibly closer to him. "You already spoil me all the time. I'm gonna go back to Austin and be with you so I'll be okay. I'll miss the yacht, though." Finn smirked as he looked into her eyes before he brought the beer can back to his lips. He quickly finished it off before he wrapped both his arms around her, knowing that he would never get tired of touching her and being close to her. "You're so sexy, you know that?" he told her as he ran his hands gently up and down along her back. "I wish I could be with you like this all day every day." Finn closed the space between them to press his lips back to hers, him deepening the kiss for a few moments before he pulled away slowly. "Hmm, so is this the plan for the day? You have me all alone on your boat and you're gonna take advantage of me until the sun goes down?" he said playfully as he looked into her eyes. "Because that sounds like a pretty good plan to me."

Rachel laughed gently as he said he would miss the yacht. "I miss the boat when I'm in Austin. I usually come out here with some friends and we just... have some drinks and have a good time. I also like to come out here and fish with my dad every once in a while but that's more rare because he's usually working when I'm home. but... it's still really nice. I mean, like I said, I love Austin. But I love my home here. I would love to move back here one day but I need to actually be making pretty good money for that." Her parents did have a lot of money and while yes, they supported her while she was in school, she wasn't expecting it to continue once she got a job and her own place. "I'm sexy, huh? I think you're just saying that because I got even sexier driving a boat," She whispered teasingly, a smile on her lips. "And we can be like this all day if you want. I definitely don't mind taking advantage of you until the sun sets," She whispered, her leaning forward to kiss him, pulling away only to press another soft kiss to his lips. "It does sound like a really, really good plan." Honestly, just laying around with Finn and fooling around all day definitely didn't sound like a bad idea at all. In fact, she was pretty sure that those days would be at the top of her list of favorite days ever with him. Taking another long sip of her beer, Rachel smiled gently against the can before looking at him. "I think laying around with you and having some really good fun sounds like a nice time. Rachel took another long few sips of her beer before putting it down next to them, her licking his lips for a moment and wrapping her other arm around his neck. As she ran a few fingers through his hair, she sighed contently. "Mm, this is really amazing. It's so warm out and it's just... beautiful out here." She paused, smirking gently. "You're also not too bad to look at."

Finn nodded when Rachel said she wanted to move back to this neighborhood one day. "I'd love to live here too, honestly. I'll live on the boat," he said with a laugh. "And you did get sexier driving a boat but you've always been sexy." When she leaned in to press her lips to his, he kissed her back eagerly and smiled as she pulled away, his gaze meeting hers. As she drank more of her beer, he kept on hand on her hip while the other continued to trail up and down along her back. He loved how her bare skin felt against his touch and it truly did amaze him how much of a connection they had even when they were barely touching. When she wrapped her other arms around his neck, he looked at her with a small smile on his face as she brushed her fingers through his hair. "I'm not bad to look at, huh?" he asked softly, a playful smile on his face as he moved his hand up her back to toy with the ends of her hair. "You're not so bad either. I mean, you're just kind of the most beautiful person I've ever known. No big deal." Finn smiled as he looked into her eyes before he pressed another soft kiss to her lips. "When we get back I... I'm gonna get clean," he breathed out as he pulled away. "I'm gonna be clean by the end of this semester no matter what." Finn knew it was a big thing to promise, especially when there was a part of him that wasn't ready but he had to do it if he wanted to keep her in his life. "You deserve to have someone who doesn't keep you up all night because you're scared you're going to wake up and I'm gonna be dead," he told her. "I want to be good for you. And me, obviously but... but I want to be good for you. I want to be able to have days with you like this forever, you know?" Finn knew he loved heroin. He loved the rush, the numbness - the escape. But he also knew he loved Rachel. The road to getting clean wasn't going to be easy but if it meant having more days like this then he knew it would be worth it. "You're not gonna lose me, you know," he whispered as he moved his hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin. "I see you looking at me sometimes like I'm gonna disappear. But I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Rachel looked at Finn as he spoke and she managed a soft laugh before leaning in to meet his kiss. As he looked into her eyes, she just looked back at him as he spoke, feeling her heart racing slightly in her chest. "I-" She wanted to say something. Anything. She wanted to tell him that she was proud of him for wanting to get clean and for wanting to change his life because it really was a big thing. It was really hard to imagine what he'd be going through, but Rachel knew that she'd be with him as much as possible to help him. Honestly, she didn't care if she'd have to skip a couple of classes the first week just so he wasn't alone and feeling so completely sick all alone. "Babe, I- I'm proud of you. For wanting to get clean. I- You know that I..." She paused, looking down for a moment before looking back into his eyes. "You know how much I care about you and I- I know you say that I'm not going to lose you but it's scary. You say that you're in control but you can't be. You're not yourself once you put the drugs into your system and if something happens and it's a normal amount but the drugs are bad and I- I'd lose you because I was asleep and not noticing something happen to you I just... I'd hate myself." She said, her fingers running through the hair at the nape of his neck. "I'm so scared I'm going to lose you and I- I can't imagine just... starting over again with someone else." She said softly before leaning forward to hug him tightly, her face moving to hide in his neck for a moment. She breathed softly in his neck and she held onto him tightly. She stayed there for a moment before pulling away and moving to kiss him deeply for a moment before pulling away. "You know that I'll help you. I- I know it's going to be really hard for you and even though it'll be hard, I... I'll do everything I can. I'll stay home with you and I- I'll do anything you need me to to make you feel better. I promise. I know there's no... hardest part because it's all hard and then you need to deal with the actual part of your addiction and your body wanting it for so long after you have the withdrawals but I- you know that I'm going to help you. And... and over summer break we can try and be together and I can help you stay on track." Rachel paused for a moment and she sighed softly, looking down. "I know you... you're yourself right now but sometimes I get sad because... we've never been together when you were completely sober. When I met you, you were already getting dependent on drugs and I just... I want you to be healthy and... and happy and even if maybe some of those thoughts that scare you are more scary once you're clean, you know that I'll help you. With everything. I'm always going to be there for you."

Finn smiled sadly as Rachel spoke. He knew he couldn't exactly trust that he had everything under control. He was aware of the fact that people died from different stuff being mixed into heroin but he just always wanted to assure Rachel he was fine even if he knew he wasn't. "Please don't say that you would hate yourself. Don't you ever blame yourself for anything that happens to me. If that - if that ever happened it's my fault. It's not yours," he told her. When she kissed him, he kissed her back deeply, him biting down on his lip as she pulled away. "Rach, I appreciate that you want to help me but you need to focus on yourself too. I'm gonna be fine. You need to focus on your classes and stuff. I'm not saying you can't help me too but please don't make me your number one priority, that's not fair to you." He knew getting clean was going to be an unhill battle and while he wanted to believe that it would be easy, he knew it would be anything but. What scared him even more than getting clean was relapsing and seeing the look on Rachel's face if he told her he did so. "I know you're always going to be here for me, baby," he said softly. "If I'm being honest I think I was dependent on drugs long before I met you. I mean, I've partied and experimented with drugs ever since senior year of high school but the last semester of sophomore year I started losing control. I should have figured that the reason I was coked out all last summer was because I was an addict not because I was having fun. I didn't feel as serious as it was until I started using dope," he said with a sigh. "I know that you're going to help me with everything and I can't even explain to you how much that means to me." Finn offered her a small smile before he kissed her once more. "I don't even know if I remember what I'm like sober," he said softly. "When I tried coke for the first time I just thought it made everything so fun and ever since I haven't really been clean." Finn sighed as he looked into Rachel's eyes, him offering her a small smile. "No more staying up half the night staring at me, okay?" he said softly before a playful smile pulled up at the corner of his lips. "It's creepy," he added teasingly. "Plus, if you're awake in the middle of the night, you're supposed to wake me up so we can take advantage of that."

Rachel wanted Finn to get clean more than anything. She wanted so desperately to just experience life with him when he wasn't constantly worrying about when he was going to get high next. Rachel knew that he obviously wanted to be with her and he wanted to be present when they were together but it was unrealistic to think that he was just going to forget about the drugs. He always was thinking about it and Rachel wanted him to be able to think about everything else. "I... I wish that you could have had someone help you when you were just doing coke. I wish that... that things could have been different. I know that I can't do everything but I- I wish that I could have been there for you to be able to stop you. But back then, like you said, you thought you were having fun. But you weren't. And no one tried to stop you and if they did, I don't know if you would have let them. But I wish I would have stopped you." She said sadly, just looking at him. as he began to speak again. "Babe, I really can't promise that I'm just going to start sleeping amazingly. I don't know if I've slept normally since you started staying with me. Because you terrified me even more back then because everything was falling apart for both of us and I- I didn't know what to do because I thought you were going to spiral even more than you were than you were. And sorry that I creep you out but... I don't know, I like watching you sleep sometimes. It's kind of peaceful. And maybe that makes me sound like a serial killer, but I... it makes me feel better to see you so peaceful. You're always so... so intense and hardcore all of the time and- and I don't know, seeing you like that is really nice. But I'll start waking you up to take advantage of it, maybe." She said with a soft smile. Rachel ran a hand through his hair and moved her hand to brush along his cheek. "I'm so proud of you. I know that you might slip up and everything in the future but... I'm going to be here for you. No matter what." With a pause, she took in a soft breath and just looked at him for a moment. "You just... you really changed my life, you know? I was so convinced that you were going to be something quick because Jamie and Chloe were so obsessed with each other and I knew you were different, but I didn't feel what they felt that first night. I feel it now, but I- I know that you're special. I really thought I lost you a couple of times but I'm glad that we're here together now. I told myself that I wasn't going to be in a relationship and... here we are. And it's never been like this before and yeah, I mean... it scares me because sometimes I'm terrified of something happening to you and to us or something. I don't know. I don't want to lose you."

Finn knew there wasn't really anything anyone could have done to stop him when he had just been doing coke because he hadn't thought of it as an addiction back then. To him it had just been fun and he truly hadn't realized how serious everything was getting until he started using heroin. "It doesn't make you sound like a serial killer. It just makes you sound like my girlfriend who likes to see me happy. I can't complain. And I definitely won't complain if you wake me up." Finn moved both of his hands to her hips as he held her close to him. He was glad they could have this conversation and he knew it was probably much needed, especially after all the drama they had been going through with their friends. "Thank you, Rach," he said softly when she told him she was proud of him, that she would be there for him even if he slipped up in the future. "It is weird, isn't it? I thought we were just gonna be a one night stand or friends with benefits for a little while but we really turned into something real. It didn't start like Chloe and Jamie did but that's probably for the better. We got to be friends first. And you are not going to lose me, Rachel. You're not." Finn offered her a small smile before he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "I guess we're kind of done pretending that we're going to wait to be official huh? I mean, I already met your parents so, it's kind of a thing now," he said with a laugh. "No more serious talk. We're on a little vacation, on your fancy ass yacht, on a perfect day. Let's have fun." Finn laughed softly and kissed her once more before he sat up slightly with her still straddling his lap. "I wanna have a good time with you today. And I want to get a little color because I feel like my skin is basically transparent, I'm so white," he said with a laugh before he slid his hands down to rest on her ass. "It's really hard for me to focus when you sit with me like this, you know. Especially when you're half naked."

Rachel knew that Finn was right. They definitely did get to be friends first, and while it was more along the lines of friends with benefits, it was still a friendship where they got to learn more about each other. They didn't become immediately obsessed with each other like their friends did. And while their friends were still together, she knew that her and Finn definitely had a pretty intense relationship. "Yeah. I mean, you met my parents and slept in my childhood bed, I think you're stuck with me now," She whispered teasingly. "We had a talk like this before and we said it was stupid for us to pretend like we weren't. I mean, we are pretty official. And... I don't know. I just- we're stupid to pretend we weren't official, but it's nice to have you like this. Really nice." She was so grateful to have him and their relationship. As Finn sat up slightly, she smiled at him and nodded. "Well, I guess that means that I need to get off your lap now, especially if you can't focus. How are you going to get color if I'm covering half of your body all day?" She asked him with a soft laugh. Still, Rachel didn't move and she offered him a small smile. "You always make it hard for me to focus. I don't know, babe. You're kind of addicting and it's definitely easy to just get lost in my thoughts all of the time when I'm thinking about you. It's really hard to get up out of bed sometimes when we're in there because I definitely could just lay around naked with you in bed all day because babe... laying around in bed naked with you all day is definitely a good day," She said with a laugh before leaning forward to kiss him gently. "I need to work on my tan, though. So maybe I will get off of you and let you concentrate a little," She teased before moving next to him and moving onto her back, a laugh escaping her lips. "Mm, you're right. The sun really does feel fucking amazing. It's so nice out."

Finn was more than aware that it was stupid for him and Rachel to act like they weren't in a serious relationship. No matter what they labeled themselves as, it was obvious to them and everyone around them that they were boyfriend and girlfriend. "I mean, it doesn't necessarily mean that you can't stay on my lap all day," he said teasingly. When she told him that he made it hard for her to focus, he couldn't help but smile. "Those are some of my favorite days. And believe me, I'm thinking about you all the time too." They shared a soft kiss before she moved off his lap and laid down beside him and he smiled at her before he shifted his gaze to the landscape around them. It really was a gorgeous place and he couldn't believe that she got to call this home. He knew if he had grown up here that he would want to move back one day as well. "It's starting to feel like summer," he said as he relaxed beside her, his eyes closing for a moment as he let the sun wash over his skin. After a few moments, he tilted his head towards Rachel before he moved his hand to her thigh, his fingers brushing against her soft skin. "I want to go somewhere really nice with you one day. Like... to a real beach on the ocean somewhere tropical," he told her. "I know I'm broke right now but I'll figure it out, you know? I'll swing something so we can get a real vacation one day." Finn knew at the moment as a boyfriend he didn't bring much to their relationship other than himself. He had no money, no job and no school. The only way he even had any kind of money was from stealing shit and selling it and he knew he was going to have to stop before he inevitably got caught. "Are you still going to be in the sorority house next semester?" he asked her. "Like same room and everything?" Finn kept his fingers moving against the soft skin of her thigh and up to her hip, his fingertips brushing against the fabric of her bikini bottom. "Or are you allowed to live somewhere else?" he asked her curiously.

Rachel looked at Finn as he moved his hand to her thigh, offering him a small smile. Rachel knew that he felt bad that he couldn't really do much because he wasn't working or going to school, but Rachel was never concerned that he didn't have a job or no real path right now because it was kind of hard for him until he was clean. But now that he was trying to get clean, she hoped that he was able to make it easier for him to find something. "A real beach or somewhere tropical sounds nice. I mean, we can wait until I graduate and maybe if at that point you're working or in school, hopefully we can line up our breaks and we can... go on a nice vacation somewhere together." She said, shrugging gently. When he talked about the sorority house, she just sighed gently. "I mean, I should be in the same place if I want to be. But I can always go somewhere else. Like... I'm not forced to live there. I just lived there because it was easier than going in to the house every day. But I've already talked to my mom about finding somewhere else to live," She told him as she kept her head angled towards him. "Why? Are you tired of living with all of the girls?" She asked softly with a laugh. "I definitely want to look for somewhere else. My senior year in a place of my own or something. Hopefully with you," She added softly, a small smile on her lips. "I don't know. It's easy living in the sorority house because I'm just... always there for events but I'm tired of sharing everything with the girls. Like... I'm tired of wanting to shower or wanting to do laundry or just wanting to sit on the couch and dealing with everyone else already doing the thing I want to do. I have my own room, but it's... it's not the same. I feel so much older now and some of the girls living there are freshmen bringing these random guys over every night and it's annoying sometimes. But I learned to live with it, I guess."

Finn nodded when Rachel said that after she graduated that they could go on a nice vacation together. He liked that she thought that far ahead with him and he knew the feelings he had for her were unlike any feelings he had ever had for anyone else. When he asked her about the sorority house and she asked him if he was tired of living there, he laughed softly. "It's not that. I don't mind living there or anything." He smiled when she told him that she'd want to spend her senior year in a place of her own with him. "The house itself is obviously really nice and I feel comfortable in your room but I just... I don't really feel that comfortable in the rest of the house," he said softly. "I feel like I'm always kind of sneaking around trying to avoid everyone because I know what some of them think of me, you know? And I know you already talked to them but they obviously talk to like... Ethan and his friends and we know for a fact he's not saying anything great." Finn didn't want to feel uncomfortable in the sorority house but he couldn't lie and say that he didn't. While he got along with a few of the girls there, most of them stayed away from him and he did the same with them. He was pretty sure if he wasn't the president of the sorority's boyfriend that they would have much more of a problem with his presence there. "I think it would be cool to get a place together, you know? I'll figure out the money situation by then and we can just... get a little apartment and have a place of our own," he said softly. "And then I can fool around with you wherever I want," he said with a laugh as he leaned up on his elbow so he could lean over to press a kiss to her lips. As he pulled away, he smiled at her before he moved to sit up fully. "I'm fucking starving," he breathed out as he moved over to the bag of food they had packed, him grabbing a sandwich out of it. "You want yours or are you good, babe?" he asked as he took a large bite of his sandwich, letting out a sigh of relief as he did so.

Rachel completely understood why he was uncomfortable in the sorority house. She didn't blame him for wanting their own space especially because yes, while they had their own space, they didn't really have much privacy other than her room. "No, I... I know. I understand. I hate that you don't feel comfortable there. We can definitely start looking, though. I mean, we only need something small. A little one bedroom place with a decent kitchen and a decent amount of living space. I mean, it's just us. We don't really need that much room. And then we won't really need to worry about people talking about us or looking at us when you're there all of the time, you know? It's just us." She said with a soft smile. Rachel didn't want to worry about everyone else judging them and honestly, she really just wanted them to enjoy themselves on their own and really actually feel like they were starting their lives. As Finn got up to get some food, she sat up slightly to look at him. "Mm, nah. I'm okay. I'll eat some later, I'm not that hungry." She said before leaning her head back and enjoying the sun for a moment before looking over to Finn again. "You're always hungry," She laughed softly before looking out at the water. "Maybe we can start touring places when we get back after spring break. We can move back like... a month early or something to Austin after summer break and we can move our shit in and stuff. I'm sure we can find a place. Next semester, I'll probably be student teaching so I definitely don't want to worry about moving stuff in when the semester starts. I'll be working so early all of the time and I'll be exhausted from dealing with kids all day. Sometimes, I don't know why I wanted to be a teacher, but I'm committed now. Maybe I'll keep going to school so I can teach college one day or something." Rachel shrugged, laughing gently and running a hand through her hair. "I'm excited, though. To be almost finished. I can't wait to be done and really start my life. It's so exciting to be close to finishing. And whatever path you decide to take, we can figure it out and everything. I obviously can't leave Austin until I'm done with school, but after that we can go anywhere. I'm not attached to Texas at all, so whatever we want to do.... we can do it. I can teach anywhere. I just want us to... to be happy and to have a plan and a future, you know?" She said, offering him a small smile.

Finn nodded when Rachel said she wasn't hungry, him standing next to the cooler as he practically inhaled his sandwich. "I know," he said with his mouth full when she told him that she was always hungry. He didn't know if it was a guy thing but he definitely always wanted to eat. At least, when he was sober he always wanted to eat. When he was high he was barely hungry at all. "That sounds cool. I mean, I don't really have any stuff to move in other than the clothes that fit in my duffel bag so we'll have to find some furniture," he said with a laugh before he finished off the rest of his sandwich. "I can't believe you're going to start student teaching, it'll be so cool, baby. You'll really get to start feeling like you're on your way to the career you want." Finn was proud of Rachel and he knew that she was going to be an amazing teacher. She would be amazing at whatever she wanted to do. "By the time you're done with school and everything I hope I'll know what I'm doing. A part of me doesn't know if I should go back to school, you know?" he said softly. "Your dad was talking about like... trades and stuff and, I don't know, I think I'm gonna look into that. My Uncle is an electrician and he makes fucking bank, you know? And I wouldn't have to go to school for something like that, I'd just have to like... get training and see if I have what it takes." Finn wasn't sure what he wanted to do, he didn't even know if he'd enjoy working a trade job but he knew he needed to do something. He had to figure out what he wanted to do with his life if he was going to keep up with Rachel because there was no way in hell he was going to drag her down with him. Finn walked over to the side of the boat and looked out at the horizon, a small smile on his face as he glanced up at the sky before looking over at Rachel. "Today's a good day. Planning the future with my girlfriend and getting to relax on the water all day. It's pretty awesome," he said softly.

Rachel definitely thought that Finn could find a job eventually. He had to, honestly. While Rachel had no problem helping him out with buying clothes or food every once in a while, she knew that he would need to get a job just to feel good about himself and feel like he had some kind of purpose in his day to day life. "Yeah, trades might work for you. I mean, if you try and apply to school, you could get in if there's something that you really wanted to do. But I think that maybe getting into a trade would be good for you. You'd always be busy, and like you said, you'd be making really good money if you're good at it. You can always try and figure it out along the way. There's no rush, you know? You have time to do stuff and figure it out. I mean, we're adults, yeah. But we're just... kids still. It feels like I just graduated high school sometimes. But it would be good to have some kind of job, especially if we're going to try and afford an apartment." She said with a soft sigh, watching him for a moment as he went to walk over to the side of the boat. Rachel got up from where she was seated before walking over near him, a small smile on her lips. "Yeah. Today is a good day. I'm so happy to be here with you, babe." She whispered, her moving into his side and wrapping an arm around his side. "I'm so excited to finish off this semester and... and have summer, but... I'm also really scared to think about being apart from you during the summer. I know we'll be fine, but I just- I'm going to miss you. We just have to try and make plans to see each other. And you can stay with me and my parents for a month or two or something maybe. Maybe we can do a little weekend getaway or something, too. I just- I don't want to be away from you for the entire summer. It'll suck."

Finn nodded when Rachel told him that there was no rush for him to figure out exactly what he wanted to do. "No matter what I'll figure out some kind of job by the summer, you know? It's more than enough time," he said hopefully. When she moved over to him and wrapped her arm around him, he smiled before he wrapped his arms around her and tugged her close to him. "I'm gonna miss you too," he said softly. "Believe me, I'm not looking forward to being away from you." Finn looked down for a moment before he shifted his gaze to Rachel, him squeezing her hip gently. "If I'm clean my dad will let me stay with him again so hopefully I'll have a place to stay, you know? And I'd obviously love to stay with you for a little while. I want to see you as much as possible. Maybe you can even visit me and I can, you know, properly introduce you to my dad. And my mom. She'll love you." Finn wanted to figure everything out with his life and he really did hope he could have it all sorted out by the summer. He knew he was probably engaging in a lot of wishful thinking but he hoped somehow it would translate to reality.

Rachel knew that her and Finn really needed to figure things out and make plans to really solidify their future. Obviously, they weren't perfect and while yes, her parents were helping her now, it wasn't like they were going to be helping her that much when she was really out on her own. And she couldn't afford an apartment on her own -- Finn definitely had to get a job to help pay for it. "I mean, hopefully he'll let you go back with him, and like I said, you're probably always going to be welcome here because my parents like you and you haven't given them reason to hate you," She said with a soft laugh. "And yeah, I'd really like to meet your mom. And your dad officially. I mean, I've met him and sat with him for dinner and stuff, but he doesn't really know me, he kind of just interrogated me to make sure that I wasn't selling you drugs," She told him with a sad smile before rubbing his skin softly. "I'm not like... scared to meet your mom or anything, but I don't know. I guess like... every mom is protective of their kids and stuff, so you probably felt the same way about meeting my mom and my dad, but still. I don't know, not that I was some slut or whatever in high school, but I don't think I was exactly bring home to mom material back then." She said with a soft laugh as she moved to lean her head against him. "Mm," She breathed softly before she pulled away from him and went to run her hands through her hair before she went towards the cooler and grabbed her sandwich that she had made, taking half of it and beginning to eat it, sitting down for a moment. "I love going out for the day like this on the water, but I always feel fucking gross when I go home. Not that I will object to a shower with you, but damn. I'm just like all sticky from the heat and all sweaty and it feels so good to just like... jump in the pool when I get home or shower immediately." Rachel continued to eat her sandwich for a moment before finishing it off quickly and taking a sip from one of the waters that she had packed for them. "I know you're really thinking far ahead in the future for everything, and I- I'm happy you are. I know you have a lot to face still, but it's good that you're thinking that far ahead. It'll be good for you." She told him before closing the cooler again, sighing contently. "And if you get bored out here, we can head out whenever. But I mean, I'm definitely down to make use of the parent free boat and give you hopefully your first experience of having sex on a boat," She laughed, a smile on her lips as she looked up at him. "I'm always here trying to cross items off people's bucket lists."

Finn wished that Rachel had gotten to meet his dad under normal circumstances instead of getting interrogated by him. He knew his dad had pretty much just been in a panic because of his drug use thought and he knew he couldn't exactly blame him. "Babe, you are definitely bring home to mom material. And don't worry about my mom, honestly. She cares more about whatever boyfriend she has for the month than she does anything else. She'll like you, I know she will. But like... even if somehow she didn't, it wouldn't matter because I honestly don't see her that much." When she pulled away from him and went to grab her food, Finn smiled softly at her as he turned to face her, him leaning back against the railing of the boat. "I'm down for jumping in the pool when we get back. And showering with you, obviously," he said with a laugh as he looked over at her. When she told him that thinking so far in the future was good for him, he offered her a small smile and nodded. He knew it was good to think ahead because he really had been in a dark place where he barely thought past the current day. While he obviously still had a lot of darkness inside of him, he was trying his best to think towards the future and imagine a life where things were okay. "There's no way in hell we're going anywhere until we get some sex on a boat," he said with a laugh as he moved over to her, his hands slipping around her waist and tugging her closer to him. "It wasn't even on my bucket list until today but, I mean, it'll definitely be the fastest thing ever checked off." A playful smirk pulled up at the corner of his lips before he dipped his head down to press his lips to hers, him moving forward slightly and pressing her against the wall to the inner cabin of the boat. "I can't get enough of you, babe," he breathed out between heated kisses before he started trailing his lips down along the curve of her neck while his hands rested on her hips, keeping her body close to his.

Rachel had an amazing time with Finn on the boat and she was incredibly happy that things felt so normal with him. She was happy he had agreed to come with her today, but she was also terrified that things would go wrong. However, things just seemed to go so well. After finally driving the boat back home, she went back to her house with Finn and just enjoyed the rest of their day. She had things planned for them the next few days until one night where she was driving with Finn to her friend's house for a small party. She looked over at him for a moment and smiled before looking back towards the road. "I'm excited for you to meet everyone. I mean, like I said, it's only like... five people but they're all my high school friends. I just... don't feel nervous to meet them or whatever. I doubt you are because you usually get along with people, but they're really nice. At least I thought they were," She said with a soft laugh before turning down another road and parking her car after a while in front of her friend's house. After getting out, she looked to Finn and went to take his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers. "Can we like... not get that wasted tonight? I know we'll have fun either way but I just... I don't want to be here until two am and I'm not staying over here," She said before walking towards the door and knocking, smiling when her friend answered it a few moments later. "Hey, Em." Rachel said before letting go of Finn's hand to go and hug her. When she pulled away, Rachel smiled and then looked to Finn. "Uhm, Emily, this is Finn. Finn... this is Emily. We went to high school together," She said before seeing another few friends of hers walk up, both Anna and Kyle. After introducing them and a few others, Rachel moved back to Finn and moved to wrap an arm around his waist as they started to walk to through her friend's house to the backyard with them.

Finn was looking forward to meeting Rachel's friends. He was also a little nervous since he already had the disapproval of Chloe and he knew he just wanted some of her friends to like him. As she spoke, he looked over at her with a small smile on his face. "I mean, I'm a little nervous but I'm sure I'll get over it. Like you said, I'm pretty good at getting along with people so I'll figure it out," he said with a soft laugh. Once they were out of the car and walking towards her friends house, he couldn't help but notice that this friend was clearly loaded too. It wasn't like he grew up insanely poor or anything but he still felt weird hanging out with people who were so rich. Rachel was normal, sure, but he knew how some people were and he could only hope her friends were similar to her. When she asked him if they could not get wasted, he looked over at her and smiled softly. "Yeah, that's fine. I don't need to be wasted to have fun with you," he told her. When her friend Emily opened the door, he offered the girl a small smile. "Hi Emily, it's nice to meet you," he said before he introduced himself to her other friends. He walked with Rachel through the house to the backyard and when Emily offered them a drink, he was happy to accept. Of course he knew not to get drunk since Rachel didn't want them too but he definitely wanted a little alcohol to help him relax a bit. He opened his beer before he took a long swig from the bottle, him sighing softly as the bottle left his lips before he looked down at Rachel. As he started talking with a couple of her friends about Austin, he felt a little better about the situation and he was relieved that so far her friends seemed pretty chill. "What happened to that Ethan guy you were seeing over winter break?" Emily asked Rachel softly. "Last time I saw you that was going on and now... this is apparently going on. Not that it's a bad thing, just... curious."

Rachel looked at Finn and smiled gently as he took a sip from his drink. She was happy to have a couple of drinks, but she really didn't want to get too wasted and not be herself around her friends when she hadn't seen them in forever. Her partying in college was definitely a little crazier than she was in high school. As they went outside, Rachel took a drink from her drink as well and she kept in his side as they stood for a bit talking. As Emily started to talk to her, Rachel smiled gently and she shrugged. "Well, Ethan was kind of an ass. And I mean, we weren't seeing each other. I guess technically, we were. I mean, to people looking from the outside, we were. But... we weren't. I guess we were just hooking up. And the only reason we were was because Finn and I had some kind of falling out and we weren't talking. But now Finn and I are good and well... things are a lot better. Plus, well, Ethan was an ass about Finn and acted like an idiot all of the time so I was over it." She said before taking a long sip of her beer. "I mean, hey. Whatever works." She laughed softly, shrugging. "You need to stay away from frat boys," One of her friends, Brian laughed. Rachel rolled her eyes and looked at him with a laugh. "Shut up, asshole. I clearly learned my lesson. I'm staying away from frat boys now. I couldn't exactly help it because I'm in a fucking sorority. Plus, most guys are assholes, anyway." She said before looking over at Finn. "Except for you," She teased. Rachel honestly hated dating in college before Finn and she was happy that she found someone that actually wanted to be with her and didn't want to just hook up. "Em, believe me when I say that anything with any frat boys is over. Especially Ethan. After the shit he's done and said to FInn, I'm just... I'm so over it."

Finn looked from Emily to Rachel as they talked about the Ethan situation and he knew he was glad that was behind them. He wished he had gotten the opportunity to beat the shit out of the guy but he knew if he had that he would probably be in jail since the guy's dad was a lawyer. "If it wasn't for Rachel, Ethan would have a broken nose but we've put that behind us," he said with a laugh before he took a swig of his beer. When her friend Brian told Rachel that she needed to stay away from frat boys, he laughed. "Yeah, she learned her lesson, that's why she's with me. I met her at a frat party but I'm definitely not in a frat," he said as he slipped his arm around her waist, his hand resting on the curve of her hip. "Rachel left for school and she started partying hard at the frats, I knew it," Kyle said with a laugh, causing Finn to smirk. "Does this mean that you guys didn't have crazy parties in high school? Because, I mean, my senior year was pretty crazy. It doesn't match my freshman year but it was a good step up to it," he told them. "Depends what you mean by crazy. I mean, we had hook ups and got drunk - and a little high. But I don't think it got much further than that." Finn laughed softly and shook his head before he finished off his beer, him stepping to the side for a moment to grab another one. "I've just always partied hard. I mean, me and Rach have some crazy stories and that was just a few months of hanging out together. I have two years of stories before I met her," he said with a laugh. Finn had definitely had a lot of fun with all the parties he had gone to and all the trouble he had gotten into. He knew it all led him to the dark place he was in now but he still looked back and enjoyed those memories. "When you say you got high, what are we talking?" he asked. "Just weed, really," Brian said with a shrug. "No blow?" he asked him. Finn knew going down this road of conversation probably wasn't smart but he couldn't help but think about coke when it had once been his drug of choice. He missed it but it was too expensive and a part of him hoped that one of Rachel's friends had some so he could get that high again.

Rachel smiled as Finn moved to wrap his arm around her, her head tilted up to look at him. "Hey, I mean, I know you had some crazy shit happening in high school. I wasn't that crazy yet. I was popular so I got invited to the crazy parties, but I didn't go crazy. Like he said, we just... partied and got drunk and there were some nights that I'm definitely not that proud of, but believe it or not, I was actually somewhat of a relationship person in high school." Emily laughed, shaking her head as she finished off her beer. "You had like two boyfriends, Rachel. And you broke up with one just to hook up with someone else." Rachel shook her head. "You have the story completely wrong," She said as she felt Finn walk away to get another beer, Brian also following to grab another drink. Rachel spoke with Emily for a few moments until Rachel decided to get another beer, her moving behind Finn to wrap her arms around Finn's waist. "Uh, I mean, I have. You're into that?' He asked before opening a beer. "Sorry to interrupt, but I want another beer," She said as she went to grab one, opening it quickly and taking a long sip. "Brian, are you stealing my boyfriend?" Rachel asked him teasingly before moving away and seeing Emily sit down on one of the chairs. Rachel went to sit on another one, leaning back and looking up at the stars. "No one let me drink more than this second beer. I have to drive home." "You just got here. Are you really that much of a lightweight?" Kyle asked with a laugh before sitting next to Emily. "No, but I'm not gonna drive drunk or some shit. And I actually want to go hang out with my boyfriend tonight alone. You all are fun, but he definitely makes my night more interesting than you guys do." Rachel grinned, Emily groaning. "We don't need any details right now. You two can ahve all the fun you want when you leave, though."

Finn raised his eyebrows when Brian said that he had coke, him quickly nodding. However, when he felt Rachel wrap her arms around him, his heart stopped for a second. He knew she wanted him to behave at this party but he also really, really wanted to do a few lines. It wasn't like the high from coke lasted long anyway so it wasn't something that would ruin their night later on once they were back at her house. "That's exactly what I'm doing, Rachel," Brian said with a laugh as she asked if he was stealing her boyfriend. Finn simply laughed as well before he watched Rachel walk over to Emily. "I don't like, do it often or whatever but I'm not gonna say I wouldn't do a few lines if you're offering," he told Brian. "It's been a while, honestly. I do it more at school then with these guys since our parties are low key. I'm not really feeling that kind of high right now but if you want to do a few lines, be my guest," Brian said with a laugh. "Come on," Brian said, nodding his head so Finn would follow him. Finn practically chugged the rest of his beer as he followed the guy inside, the two of them heading towards the bathroom. "Rachel's been my friend for a long time so consider this a welcome to the group present," Brian said as he pulled the small bag of coke out of his pocket. Finn's eyes lit up at the sight of it and he offered Brian a small smile. "Thanks, man. Just uh - tell Rach I'll be out there in a second," he said, Brian nodding as he headed out of the bathroom and back out of the house. Finn stared at the bag of coke and he could feel the need for the drug coursing through him. It had been so long since he had been able to afford it and he missed it. He missed having it and heroin at the same time since it was the only way he could force himself to stay awake, too. "Fuck, please tell me I have dope," he breathed out, him digging through his pockets. When he grabbed a tiny bag of heroin, he let out a small sigh of relief. He quickly set a few lines of each down on the counter, him tucking the remnants back in his pocket before he snorted each line quickly. Immediately he felt the rush and the calm all at once and as he looked at himself in the mirror, he smiled before he wiped his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. After basking in his high for a few moments, he moved back through the house and out the back door, him grabbing another beer as he tried to walk as straight as he could over to where Rachel was sitting. "Everyone in the whole fucking city of Austin could fit in this backyard. We need more people here," he said before a laugh escaped his lips. "Babe, I like your friends, they're fun," he told her, him going to sit in the chair beside her. He missed the chair slightly and fell on his ass, him laughing as he spilled a bit of his beer. "Oh fuck, my bad," he laughed, him sitting up and leaning his head against her chair as he struggled to get a good grip on his drink, him struggling to bring it to his mouth as the effects of the drugs grew more intense.

Rachel was really enjoying finally spending time with her friends again. They rarely got to see each other and during small school breaks, none of them really came home, so over summer and over spring break if they were home they always made sure to try and see each other. Rachel and Emily had always been close since middle school and it was nice to just have her friend with her. During the summer, they were inseparable and Rachel missed that friendship. She thought that she had found it in Chloe, but clearly the girl had no interest in fixing things with her. "Wait, so how long have you been together?" Emily asked, Rachel picking at the label of her beer. "Uh, I mean... a while. We've been together like... the entire semester so far and we were kind of just fucking around last semester but then things were bad, so... I don't really know how long. It's been a while, though. It's just... intense. We click and it's really great and we care a lot about each other. It's refreshing." Rachel looked out at the backyard for a moment away from Emily and sighed before taking another sip of her beer. Rachel really did love Finn and she loved what they had but she just wished that things were so much simpler. When Brian came back before Finn did, she offered him a small smile before he started talking again. Rachel occupied herself with her thoughts before she saw Finn walk back over to her and she could immediately tell that he was high. Rachel wasn't stupid -- she saw him every single fucking day and she knew what he was like. And Rachel knew that two or three beers didn't do this to him. Rachel was quiet for a moment as she stared at him, everyone around him laughing. Of course, Rachel was glad her friends were having a good time, but to them, this was fine and normal but to her, it wasn't. Not at all. Rachel put her beer down and looked away for a moment, Brian looking at her. "What, did you becoming the mom of the sorority make you boring? Lighten up and have some more beer. Everyone is having a good time and you're acting like someone died." Brian said with a laugh, taking a long swig of his beer. "Oh, yeah, I'm so fucking boring now right?" She said, shaking her head and holding onto the arm of the chair she was on slightly before getting up. "I need a minute. I just- I'll be right back. I'm gonna go to the bathroom," She said mostly to herself as she got up. "I can't fucking believe you," She said to Finn softly before starting to walk back towards the house, looking back at Brian with a glare who held one hand up. Moving into the house quickly, she slammed the door behind her, lightly smacking her hand against the wall in frustration before looking up at the ceiling and taking a deep breath. Obviously, her friends probably just thought he was a lightweight and if he was high, to them, it didn't really matter. But to her, it mattered and she thought that for one night Finn wouldn't do something like this in front of her friends who he barely knew. But then again, he probably didn't care and she wished that he just thought about what he was doing for more than just one second.

Finn laughed as he spilled his drink slightly, him sitting on the ground beside Rachel. "Baby, it's a party. We're having fun," he told her when she got angry with Brian, him attempting to calm her down. Obviously he knew why she was mad and while he felt guilty, the other part of him was so happy that he finally had a good high going. All week he had been trying his best to keep his drug use under control so her parents didn't notice anything but he was starting to want more. Plus, if he was going to get clean soon, he figured he deserved a little last hurrah. When she told him she couldn't believe him, he looked up at her sadly. "Babe," he started before she walked away, him watching as she slammed the door. "Yo, help me up, man," he told Brian. Once he was on his feet, he started walking towards the house, him leaving his beer by the chair. Finn struggled for a moment with the door before he moved inside. "Baby, I'm sorry," he told her, his words slurring together slightly. "I know I wasn't supposed to... to do anything but I um... I got coke and I wanted it really bad and it feels really good with dope, you know? Because they're like opposites," he explained as best as he could, him holding his hands together to try and simulate how the drugs worked together. "I'm not gonna do it again. They all like me and everything is okay. No one is gonna think anything is going on." Finn knew he was talking in circles a bit but he really couldn't stop himself once he started when he was high. "I'm gonna be clean when we get home so this is just like... one of the last times before it's over," he told her, hoping desperately that the mention of him getting clean would mean that she wouldn't be angry with him. "Please don't be mad at me. I don't want you to be mad at me. Everything is so... so good and this trip has been so good and now you're gonna hate me again because I got high in front of people," he rambled. "I'm trying so hard to be good for you but it's really hard because it feels so good. And this feels really good. I feel really good," he said before he smiled at her, a part of him forgetting that she was definitely not in the smiling mood at all.

Rachel honestly was trying to not get upset. She didn't want her friends to think something was going on, especially because her and Finn had come in here acting completely fine and yet here she was, acting like it was the end of the world that Finn was either drunk or high but honestly, she didn't care. She didn't care if her friends got suspicious because it wasn't like he could hide this forever. He couldn't hide his drug addiction forever from the people in her life and it was becoming harder and harder every single day to acft like things were fine. When she heard the door open, she looked at Finn and could feel her emotion rise even more than it already was. "You're sorry?" She said, looking at him as he spoke. It was stupid to even listen to him, especially because he wasn't making any sense and she knew that he was too high to even really function or make sense of anything that he was saying. He was talking in circles and she knew that even though she was so, so mad that it wasn't even really him that she was talking to. "You think that me hearing you're getting clean is going to make me feel better? You keep telling me you're fucking going to get clean, but you act like you don't give a fuck," She said loudly, reminding herself to try and calm down, especially because she didn't want her friends to get involved with this right now. "I'm pissed because these are my friends. My best friends from school and this is the first time you're meeting them," She said, feeling her eyes sting slightly with frustrated tears. "I don't give a fuck if you feel good or you feel like shit right now," She told him, hating that she was getting angry. She knew that addiction was a problem and she knew that it wasn't all him, it was mental yet it was also a disease. But she wished that he could just stick to his words and try and get better. "You've been so... so normal with me this entire trip and things felt different and you fucking pull shit like this. I thought you were trying to be better. You fucking realize that when you try and get better you're going to want this shit and you're not going to be able to do it right? Fucking craving something isn't going to matter. Because you need to learn some will power, Finn. If you don't, you're going to hurt yourself. And how do you think I feel? You tell me all of the time that you care about me and you want to get clean for me. And for you. And for... for your health. And you never change. And here you are, barely even coherent. Trying to tell me that you're fine. I don't know who you're trying to fool."

Finn stood there shakily as Rachel spoke to him, her voice getting louder as she got angry with him. He was sorry that he had upset her but he knew it didn't matter at this point. Nothing he said mattered because he let her down every second of their relationship. "But they like me. I didn't do anything in front of them. They think it's just coke. Coke isn't a big deal," he told her, knowing that coke was the reason he had gotten into this whole mess in the first place. When she told him that she didn't give a fuck how he felt, he simply stood there, more than aware that he deserved this. "I am trying to be better, I am," he told her. "I am gonna be able to stop, I can stop when we get back," he said quickly. He felt himself getting frustrated not being able to properly express himself and he ran his hand through his hair before he moved a bit closer to Rachel. "You picked me even though you knew about this," he told her. "I keep telling you to stop and you don't stop and you keep helping me and being nice to me and caring about me. I know I'm bad and I'm sick but I told you I'm a piece of shit and you won't do what's best for you and leave me alone," he breathed out. Finn shook his head as he looked at her before he moved closer to her. "You're my person Rachel and I'm sorry because I know I make you sad and angry more than I make you happy," he told her. "I'm gonna go to the car and you can hang out with your friends. You can tell them that I'm drunk and I don't feel good, you don't have to tell them anything because next time I see them I'll be clean and better at making you happy. I hope." Finn walked past her and towards the front door, him opening it and leaving it open behind him as he stumbled towards her car. He was unsteady on his feet as he moved towards it and he could feel the effects of the cocaine wearing off and steadily be replaced with the full force of the heroin that he had snorted. His whole body felt heavy and sluggish and when he reached her car he slumped down on the ground beside it, his hands on the ground as he tried to grip onto something stable.

Rachel looked at him as he spoke and she wanted to say so much more. She wanted to say something to change him and to make him better instantly but it wasn't possible. It would never be possible. "I picked you because you were the first person who actually made me feel like something. I picked you and I was also getting high with you, Finn. We were on some crazy ass ride together and I still didn't let you go. And when we fell apart, I still picked you because you were all I wanted. I can see that person that's underneath of all of this and I feel like I'm the only person that can," She told him, her taking in a deep breath before running a hand through her hair. As he moved closer to her, she looked into his eyes and she felt her heart sink in her chest. It sucked that she did spend so much of their relationship terrified or sad because he was too high to function sometimes or she felt like he was slipping away from her. However, every other second, she was happier than she had ever been in her life. Rachel didn't say anything as he walked towards the front of the house, seeing him walk out and to her car. She looked away after a moment and went into the back, seeing her friends stare at her. "Uh, is everything cool? You look upset. Did we say something?" Rachel shook her head, clearing her throat. "No. Uhm... I'm just gonna go. I'm going to get him home." Rachel didn't want to leave them just yet, but she knew that she could see them any time. She could always have a day with them. "I'll talk to you guys later. Sorry. Just... have a good night." She said, quickly rushing through the house and out the front door to see Finn on the ground. Rachel unlocked her car quickly and felt her heart racing in her chest as she moved to wrap an arm around him. "Let's get in the car, okay?" Rachel knew that she couldn't exactly lift him up, but she could at least support him and hold a bit of his weight to help him get up. Rachel opened the car door with one hand and tried to help him get in it. She hated this. It felt horrible to think that this was where they were when the entire trip had felt so far away from this. Rachel figured that this trip was honestly a way to feel like things were normal, but in reality? This was their reality. This was what they dealt with and she knew it was what she was going back to once they left her parents house. "Let's just go back to my house and relax. You should sleep. You have way too much going on in your system right now. You need water and you need to sleep."

Finn knew that he was bad for Rachel and everyone else who knew what was really going on knew that too. However, as bad as he was, he couldn't give up on them because he knew a part of him was addicted to her too. She was his best friend and he was so in love with her and he just wished that he could give her that relationship that she deserved. He wanted to be that guy who made things easier for her - not more difficult. He wanted to take her on dates and give her random presents and make her smile after a long day of class. He wanted everything with her but he knew that as long as he was on drugs all of that was impossible. And as much as he wanted it, because god, he wanted it - he wanted the drugs too. As long as he had heroin, he knew he'd never be the man she really needed. He'd never get an apartment with her or experience any of the things they talked about. Rachel was the only person who saw him for who he was despite his addiction. She was the only person who stuck by his side through thick and thing but he knew if he kept this up that he was just going to push her away until he had no one. And if that happened, he truly didn't know where he would be anymore. He figured either on the street or dead and he really wasn't sure what would be worse at that point. When Rachel walked over to him and started helping him up, he used the car to try and support himself. "I'm sorry," he breathed out as he got into the car, him leaning his head back against the headrest once he was seated. "I'm gonna be better when we get home, I promise," he told her. "I'm gonna be clean and be a better boyfriend. And I know that I say that kind of stuff a lot but I mean it this time. I mean it." Finn tried to keep his eyes open as she drove, him keeping his eyes on the road in front of them but he knew it was useless. He felt so heavy and everything around him felt like it was slowing down. He could hear Rachel talking to him but he could barely make out what she was saying. "I'm fine," he mumbled, his words trailing off at the end as he drifted off to sleep.

Rachel didn't want to be angry at Finn for the rest of the night, but she was so tired of this. She was so tired of him getting high and simply not caring about how she would feel about anything. He always said he wanted things to be better but he never tried and she wished that he could just figure things out for good. As soon as Finn was in the car, she looked at him and attempted to buckle him in before she pulled away and shut the door behind him before getting in the drivers seat. Once she was seated and had her seat belt on, Rachel started to drive back to her house and she didn't even really know what to say at all. "You always say that Finn. You say that you mean it and I- I want you to mean it. I really do," She told him, sighing as she gripped onto the steering wheel. "You always tell me that you're fucking... you're fucking trying. And I- you're not. You tell me all of these things and you tell me that you're trying to be better for yourself and for me and you aren't. I'm not giving up on you and you know that, but I- I feel like you're giving up on yourself sometimes. I know that you're not getting clean until we get home, but you didn't need to get fucked up like this while we were away. You had time to at least try and calm yourself down." She knew it was stupid, but she just wanted to rant and rant because she never got to. She always told him things were fine when they really weren't. "Are you even listening to me?" She asked him, her hearing him not respond. When she saw him next to her, his eyes shut, she felt her heart stop in her chest and she honestly wasn't even thinking as she pulled over on the side of the road, the person behind her beeping as she stopped and kept her blinker on as she put the car in park. "Finn," She said softly, her bringing her hand to his chest after he said he was fine, her making sure that she still felt him breathing. Rachel breathed out shakily as she concentrated on the feeling of his chest rising and falling, trying to make sure his pulse was still normal. Rachel knew what the signs of an overdose were -- she had done so much research because she was terrified sometimes of losing him. Rachel leaned her head against her headrest and brought her hands to her face as she felt her eyes sting with tears. A shaky breath escaped her lips and she tried desperately to calm herself down. At this point, she knew that she couldn't exactly get him inside of her house because she couldn't carry him, and it wasn't like Rachel could ask her parents for help. While her parents would probably find out about his addiction eventually, she didn't want them to find out like this. After watching him and his breathing for a few more minutes, Rachel started to drive again, her wiping at her eyes slightly before finding a parking lot near the water to park for a while to at least give Finn some time for the drugs to wear off. While he probably wouldn't wake up right away, she would give herself at least an hour to drive back home. After waiting a while, she went back to her house and parked the car before rubbing Finn's arm slightly roughly to rouse him from his sleep before brushing her hand over his cheek, running a hand through his hair. "Finn." She tried, unsure of what else to do. "Finn, are you able to get up? I- We need to go inside. It's so late," She told him. It was way later than she wanted to be up but at this point, she didn't really have many options.

Finn was trying to pay attention to Rachel, he was, but he was also having a hard time focusing no matter how hard he tried to stay awake. All he could manager were the words "I'm fine" before he drifted off to sleep. He was completely incoherent as Rachel pulled over, him out cold from the strong effect the heroin was having on his body now that the cocaine had worn off. Throughout the week, he had been trying to use as little heroin as possible and he knew that had probably fucked with his tolerance a bit. He had taken the amount that he would take back home and that was much more than what he had been doing while staying at Rachel's parents house. When she started rubbing his arm, he didn't react to her touch. However, when she started running her hand over his cheek and through his hair, his eyes fluttered open slowly. He felt so out of it, so disoriented and he tried his best to focus on his girlfriend as she spoke to him. "I can get up," he told her, his words still slightly slurred together. Finn looked down at his hands that were folded in his lap before he moved his hand to the door. He just stared at the door handle for a moment before he opened it up, him trying to get out before he realized his seat belt was holding him back. "Fuck," he breathed out as he undid the seat belt before getting out of the car. He kept one hand on the car so he could lean against it as he stepped onto the ground, him closing the door before he turned to face Rachel. "I didn't think we stayed that late," he mumbled as he moved around the car and towards her. "I'm so tired," he breathed out. Finn blinked slowly as he tried to keep his focus on his girlfriend, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment. When he almost fell forward, he woke himself up, him quickly catching himself on her car so that he didn't fall to the ground. "Inside," he said softly as he started walking towards the house. Usually when he was this fucked up, he wasn't out and about. He was at home, in bed, staring at the ceiling and enjoying the feeling that the drugs provided him. "Where's your room?" he asked Rachel as he stepped into the house. He felt so confused and disoriented and a part of him hated himself for not being able to focus properly. "I forget." Finn looked at Rachel before he stumbled back towards the wall slightly, him using all of his willpower to just keep himself awake.

Rachel wasn't exactly sure how to get Finn inside if he didn't get up, and if he couldn't, Rachel honestly figured that she'd stay awake in the car with him until she was able to move him inside when he felt more coherent. However, when he woke up slightly, Rachel felt her heart skip a few beats in her chest. Rachel was just glad that he was okay, even if he still wasn't himself. If something had happened to him today, she was pretty sure that she never would forgive herself. "I-okay." She breathed out quickly before she rushed out of the car to meet him on his side of the car, immediately moving next to him in an attempt to help him inside even if the help was useless. There was no way that she could get him inside if he was practically falling asleep while he was standing up. "Yeah. Inside." Rachel walked next to him and moved into his side to help him inside. When she saw the lights all completely off, she was happy to know her parents were asleep upstairs. She didn't want them seeing Finn like this at all. Not right now. "Just... hold onto me, okay?" She said as he went to move towards the wall, her wrapping her arm around him and holding onto him tightly to guide him to her room. "Please just... just make it to my room," She said, her guiding him up to her room slowly but with a purpose so he didn't completely give up and just let himself collapse onto the ground. "We're almost there," She told him as she went towards her room. Rachel stopped for a second to look at Finn, her holding onto his shirt slightly. "We're just... we're gonna go to bed and you're going to sober up." Rachel hated this. Absolutely hated this. It felt like he was slipping away from her and she was trying so hard to just tell herself that he'd be okay soon. "Come on, babe. Just a few more steps," She said before going towards her door and trying to guide him inside. "You can lay in bed and relax for the rest of the night. And however long you want tomorrow." Honestly, Rachel doubted she'd be able to sleep for a while, but she wanted him to be able to rest so he didn't try to get up and hurt himself. "The bed is right there, just... let me get the blankets down for you," She said before letting go of him and pulling down the blankets so she could at least get him comfortable when he was finally resting in bed.

Finn nodded when Rachel told him to hold onto her, him trying his best to just stay with her and get up the stairs to her room. He was disoriented and exhausted but he was finding himself able to somewhat focus on Rachel. "I'm gonna make it," he mumbled in response to her as they walked towards her bedroom. He could feel her gripping onto him and onto the fabric of his shirt and he was trying to just follow the momentum that she was creating for him. When they finally reached her bedroom, he moved to lean against the wall, him staying silent and nodding when she told him that she wanted to get the blankets down for him. "I'm sorry," he breathed out as he walked over to the bed, him immediately moving to lay down. He was sideways slightly on the bed, his feet hanging off and his shoes still on as he stared up at the ceiling. "I did too much," he told her. "I thought I could do it but it's been too long since I did that much." Finn wasn't even sure if anything he was saying was making sense but as he stared up at the ceiling, he felt himself having more and more of a difficult time keeping his eyes open. He continued mumbling apologies until he drifted off to sleep, him completely out cold. When he woke up hours later, his head was pounding and Finn groaned as he moved to sit up, his hand moving to his forehead. God, he had forgotten how bad the comedown was from speed balling and he knew that was one of the reasons why he had chosen to leave cocaine out of his usual drug use. He looked at the window and was grateful that the sun wasn't up yet because he was sure that if it was, his headache would be even worse. "Fuck," he breathed out as he put his head in his hands before he slipped out of bed. He hadn't even realized if Rachel was awake with him so disoriented and he quickly made his way to her bathroom. God, he was relieved she had her own bathroom so he didn't have to chance running into one of her parents. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he avoided his own gaze. He could feel the guilt from his behavior weighting down on his shoulders like a ton of bricks and he knew Rachel was going to be upset with him. God, she probably hated him. Finn splashed his face with water before he looked at himself once more, his face falling when he saw his nose was starting to bleed. He quickly grabbed a tissue and brought it to his nose, him leaning over the sink as he tried to somehow figure out a way to make the whole night disappear.

Rachel watched as Finn got into bed, and she just smiled gently at his words, feeling her heart ache in her chest. She felt horrible that he felt the way he did, especially because she doubted Finn really intended to get as bad as he was. While she knew that he always got high, it wasn't like he had been this high in a very, very long time. "You did do too much. But I- It's okay." She whispered, looking at him for a moment while he got settled. Once he did, Rachel waited a few minutes to make sure that he was asleep before she got his shoes off and moved his legs slightly to get him under the blankets, covering him up slightly. Rachel looked to the clock and she just shook her head gently before pacing around the room slightly to calm herself. While being incredibly nervous wasn't exactly helping her relax, she didn't know what to do at this point. It was hard to keep her eyes open for the entire night, but when Rachel finally calmed down, she went to sit next to Finn on the bed, her sitting on top of the blankets as she looked down at him. Even if she was exhausted, she really didn't think that she'd be able to sleep at this point. Rachel was drifting on and off all night and when she felt Finn stir next to her, moving out of the bed quickly she shot awake and sat up more completely. "Finn?" She managed out softly, not hearing him come back after a few moments. It was hard to continue to deal with all of this, but Rachel just couldn't give up on him and leave him to fend for himself. At this point, she felt like it was just another part of her life. "Do you need anything?" She asked tiredly as she got out of bed, her rubbing one of her eyes to force herself to be less tired. "Are you okay?" She breathed out, moving into the doorway to her bathroom. When she saw him holding a tissue to his nose, she sucked in a soft breath. "I... can I get you something?" She whispered to him, attempting to look into his eyes.

Finn jumped slightly when Rachel moved into the doorway of the bathroom, him hating that she had to see him like this. He knew he was a mess and he felt horrible that she had to deal with him. "I'm okay," he said softly, him keeping his gaze on the sink as he leaned over it. He didn't want to look Rachel in the eyes, not when he knew without even looking at her that she was so, so disappointed in him. While he had been high he may have been out of it, but he remembered how much he had upset her and he hated himself for ruining her night with her friends that she had been looking forward to. "I don't need anything, I'm alright," he told her. Finn pulled the tissue away from his nose and waited for a few moments, him letting out a soft sigh when he saw his nose had stopped bleeding. He tossed the tissue into the small garbage before he kept his gaze down, him running a hand through his hair. Finn let out a shaky breath before he finally turned to face Rachel, him only able to look in her eyes for a moment before he looked down at the floor. What was he going to say? Sorry? Sorry meant nothing after everything he had put her through and he knew she deserved something more than that. She deserved everything. "My head just hurts," he said softly. "But I'm okay other than that." Finn stood there for a moment before he shifted his gaze back to hers, him feeling his heart sink into his stomach once his eyes met hers. She looked so tired and exhausted and he hated himself for making her feel that way once again. "I don't want to keep saying sorry when I know it probably means nothing now," he told her. "I just - I don't know what to say. I ruined your night and I... I didn't deserve you taking care of me. I don't deserve you, let alone you being here for me the way that you are." Finn sighed before he looked away from her. He knew she was probably getting close to the last straw with him and a part of him was scared that this was it. "I understand if you want me to leave," he told her. "I understand if you want to break up with me."

Rachel didn't know what to do at this point. Honestly, all she knew how to do was take care of Finn as she was trying so hard to do everything possible to help him but she also didn't know how to properly help him. "Okay. Well... if your head hurts I- I can get you some water and some Advil or something maybe that you can take. I- I don't know. You probably need some actual rest, not just... passing out. Maybe you'll feel better if you actually sleep some," She breathed out, offering him a sad smile when his eyes finally met hers. She really didn't know what to say. Was there really anything right to say anyway? She felt like there wasn't anything and even if there was, she was searching for the right words. She was. But it felt impossible. "You don't need to say sorry, Finn." She told him, sighing. "You might have changed the plans I had for the night, but I- I was so worried, Finn." Rachel felt like she was always worried at this point. "I don't want you to leave, Finn. Ever, okay?" She breathed out before leaning forward to hug him, her wrapping her arms around his waist tightly. She shut her eyes and took in a shaky breath as she held onto him, afraid to let go. "You fucking terrified me, Finn. You just- I never saw you like that and I was so scared. I- I sat with you in the car for hours, Finn. So long. I couldn't get you inside and I- I tried to do everything I could but I didn't know what to do. You just- you fucking scare the shit out of me sometimes. And you always tell me to stop being so worried but I can't. And I- I promise I'm going to do everything I can to help you. With everything. I don't even know why you'd even think that I'd want to break up with you. I- that's the last thing on my mind, okay?"

Finn shrugged when Rachel told him that he needed to get actual sleep, not just pass out like he had before. "I think I just need water. I - I want to do stuff with you today, I don't want to sleep all day," he told her. When she told him that she didn't want him to leave, he looked at her brokenly. The second she hugged him, he hugged her back tightly, knowing that he never wanted to let her go. "I don't want to leave either. I just - I thought you'd want me to," he said softly, him closing his eyes as he felt how tightly she was holding onto him. "Baby, I'm so sorry I scared you like that, I didn't mean to. A-And okay. You're not breaking up with me. I - I'm sorry I said it, I'm just so scared that I'm going to ruin this. That it's going to be the last straw one day," he told her. Finn held her tightly in his arms before he pulled away from her slightly, him looking down into her eyes. "Your friend had coke and I don't know what came over me. It was like I was possessed," he explained. "I haven't done coke in so long and I used to use it with heroin all the time. I think I just - I don't know... got swept up in it. And I took too much. Way, way too much." Finn shook his head before he ran his hand through his hair. "Last night is never gonna happen again, I promise. I - I'm not gonna do that to you again."

Rachel was terrified to lose Finn and she knew that she'd do anything possible to be with him. It felt like they were always on some crazy roller coaster ride and she didn't know what to do to stop them. But honestly, she knew that things weren't possible at this point. Things weren't possible to control anymore. Not yet. Rachel nodded her head gently against him as she held onto him, afraid to let go and lose him forever. WHen Finn pulled away, she shook her head. "It's not gonna be the last straw. I- I promise. I just... you scare me but I- I can't lose you. And I- I'm here to help you through everything. Not just... not just the easy parts. I told you that I'm here for the bad parts, too. And I meant it." The bad parts terrified her, but she knew that she couldn't lose him if she was too scared to handle him in the bad parts. As he explained what had happened, she nodded gently and ran her hand over his side slightly. Rachel made a mental note to kill Brian when she saw him next, but she knew that it wasn't the time to say anything about that to Finn. "You did take too much. I thought you were fucking dying," She told him, her holding onto him for a moment before loosening her grasp. "I... I don't want last night to happen ever again, Finn. I... I felt helpless. I sat on the side of the road for almost fifteen minutes because I thought that I might have to take you to the hospital or something. I just- and then I couldn't bring you home so... so I just sat in a parking lot for hours. Because I couldn't even get you upstairs if I would have tried. And I didn't even care about that, honestly. I just was terrified because I didn't know if you were okay. I- I've read so much about stuff happening to people and I... I just didn't know if something was happening to you and I just... I didn't sleep because I was scared I'd miss something if I slept and you weren't okay. You weren't you. And that was what scared me the most. I've seen you really high before. And last night was somehow way worse and I immediately went to worst case scenario."

Finn didn't remember much of the car ride and he felt horrible that Rachel had sat with him on the side of the road for fifteen minutes because she thought she would have to take him to the hospital. "I'm sorry I put you through that, Rach. I know I can stop if from happening but I wish you weren't always so worried about me. I mean, I know I don't exactly give you peace of mind but I'm going to start, I promise. I don't - I don't remember much after leaving the party. I just remember you yelling at me in the house and then I woke up here," he told her. Finn sighed as he looked at Rachel before he leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. "I'm okay. I'm me again and I promise things are going to be okay," he told her. Finn offered her a small smile before he took her hand in his and led her back towards her bed, him lifting her into his arms and plopping her onto it before he moved to lay beside her. "The sun isn't even up yet so let's just... let's just stay in bed until my stomach makes us go downstairs for breakfast," he said with a slight laugh as he wrapped his arms around her. He still didn't feel good - he felt like he had been hit with a car but he wanted to make Rachel happy. He wanted them to be okay because there was nothing more important to him than her and their relationship. "I want you to get a little rest. I'm right here, I'm sober and I'm not going to use anything else for a while so you can sleep and you can know that I'm still gonna be right here when you wake up," he said softly as he looked into her eyes.

Rachel looked at Finn before he leaned down to kiss her softly. She felt horrible that he felt like shit and she wished that she could have changed things for him. However, he had put himself into this situation, so she couldn't change much. This was all him. As Finn took her hand into his, she looked down for a moment. Rachel wanted things to be normal and she really hoped that things would start to get back on track soon. She wanted them to have a normal relationship and she wanted to start their future. Because she knew that they had one even if everyone said it was impossible. As soon as he placed her on the bed and moved next to her, Rachel moved to wrap her arms around him tightly before pulling herself impossibly further against him to get comfortable. Rachel didn't want to lose him and she wanted to make sure that she always was right there with him. "I'll try and sleep. I will. I just- I didn't want to sleep until you woke up. I'm exhausted so even if I don't sleep a lot now, we'll just relax tomorrow," Rachel said softly, her letting out a soft sigh against him before leaning to kiss him. She pressed her lips to his softly before pulling away and resting her head against his chest slightly so she could allow herself to relax for the first time in what felt like an eternity. It was going to be hard to let herself calm down, but she at least felt a lot better knowing that he was coherent enough to talk and move around. And for right now, he was the Finn she knew and that was all she cared about for the time being.

-

Finn was looking forward to relaxing with Rachel for the day. While the original plan for the day had been to go back out on the boat, the rain that was falling from the sky had cancelled those plans pretty quickly. So, they had decided to just hang out at Rachel's house and watch Netflix all day. Her parents had already gone off to work for the day so they had the place to themselves and Finn was excited to just focus on his girlfriend and nothing else. After the whole party thing he knew he had put her a little on edge around him and he was trying his best to repair what he had broken. "We can watch whatever, baby, I'm not picky," he said as he walked over to the couch before he moved to sit down, him kicking up his feet and sighing contently. They had just finished breakfast and he knew that it was going to be a good day - something they certainly needed together. He loved days where he could just hang out in shorts and a hoodie and relax, especially when he was with Rachel. "I'm happy that we get the house to ourselves. I like your parents and everything but the privacy is nice, you know? Plus it's like... a little glimpse into the future for when we have our own place." Finn smiled at Rachel before he leaned his head back on the couch, knowing that a part of him didn't want to go back to reality when this break was over. There were a lot of hardships coming his way and while he knew he needed to go through them to get better, it didn't mean he wasn't terrified.

Rachel knew that both her and Finn needed time together to just relax and to try and forget the night of the party. It felt horrible to think that it really could have been the end of so much and she wanted so desperately to try and forget it. All Rachel wanted to do was have a good day with him and try to put the past behind them. All Rachel wanted was to have time to relax and to enjoy Finn and this day was exactly that. As Finn sat down, Rachel was standing near the TV with the remote and she offered him a small smile. "Well, I'll just put some random movie on that Netflix recommends, then. And then we can just binge watch a TV show," Rachel teased gently before moving over to the couch where Finn was and moving directly next to him to move into his arms. "I can't wait for us to have our own place one day. It'll be really awesome. I'll be done with school and I won't need to be worrying about... I don't know. The sorority. School work. I can just worry about you and us and that's all that matters to me," She told him, offering him a small smile before moving to lean her head against his chest to relax. "I don't want to have to go back to school. I just... I want to stay here with you. Because the second we go back to the sorority house, we're going to be hiding away in my room all of the time because I hate dealing with all of the girls. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but I definitely would rather them not see us all over each other all of the time. We'll start looking for a place when we get back home. Well, closer to the end of the semester, but we definitely have something to look forward to. It'll be fun. I just- I can't wait to have that. I don't know. It seems stupid because we're practically living together all of the time, but it'll be so much different."

Finn laughed softly as Rachel spoke, him smiling at her as she moved to sit beside him before she settled into his side. He immediately wrapped his arm around her and he knew that he would never get tired of being with her like this. "I can't wait either," he said softly. "You'll be an awesome teacher and I'll be doing something by then and we'll just be able to take care of ourselves." Finn ran his hand gently up and down along her back, his fingers toying with the ends of her hair and he knew that this was the perfect way to spend a rainy day. "I don't want you to go back to school either. But I'm definitely looking forward to really living with you. Like I've said, it's not like I don't like the sorority or anything but I'd definitely rather live alone with you. It's just... more comfortable," he told her. Finn looked at the TV for a moment before he shifted his gaze back to Rachel, him biting down on his lip. "When we get back home I um... I'm done. With the drugs. I'm gonna be sick for a little while but - yeah. I'm gonna stop," he said softly. Finn slipped his phone out of the pocket of his hoodie before he handed it to her. "Delete Kevin's number," he told her. He wanted to prove to her that he was serious about this, that when they returned to Austin he was really going to focus on staying sober and being the guy that she deserved. "You can delete anyone in there that you think is connected to that world in any way, honestly. And um... when we leave here... I want you to get rid of everything I have with me. Flush the rest of it - whatever. I just... we're gonna get rid of it all and me being sober is gonna start the second we get there." Finn was scared. Of course he was scared. He was terrified to not have the drugs to help him deal with things, he was scared to go through withdrawals again and he was scared that he was going to relapse. However, he was terrified of losing Rachel and he wanted to prove to her that he was serious about her - about them. Because he knew they didn't have a future unless he was clean. "I can't promise you that it's gonna be easy or that I'm not gonna relapse but I want to do this, Rach. For you. A-And for me."

Rachel looked at Finn as he spoke to her and slipped his phone out of his pocket to hand to her. It was clear that she wanted him to get better and she wanted him to change but she was happy that a part of him really wanted to change, too. A part of him really did want to get clean and he wanted to try. As much as she wanted that process for him, she was also terrified to go through it with him because while she read a lot of information about it, she really wasn't prepared for it and she had no idea how she'd be able to help him. However, she really just wanted to do everything possible. Rachel didn't speak as he continued to tell her what they were going to do when they got home and she just nodded gently before she looked down at his phone for a moment. "I- I know that you want to get better Finn, and I'm so happy that you do. And I- I'm so proud of you. Because I know how hard it's going to be for you," She said, already completely ignoring the movie that was playing. "I know it won't be easy. But I'm so proud of you." Rachel paused for a moment as she toyed with his phone in her hands. "But I want you to do delete it. Block the number so they can't text you. I- I know that I can just as easily do it for you, but I want you to do it to... to start this yourself. You're the one that needs to make this decision and you need to do the first thing. Not me." She told him softly, her placing the phone back into his hand after she went to his contacts. "Everybody that's connected to you in that way. Anyone that you've partied with and you know they don't want you to be clean or don't care. You... you need to find people that want to see you better. That don't want your money. You know that Kevin doesn't care what happens. He just wants your money. And I- I know that you're blind to that when you're in that lifestyle. But you need to surround yourself with people that really care. That want to keep you clean. You can't go back to that life, Finn. You need to start something new for yourself."

Finn smiled softly when Rachel told him that she was proud of him. That was what he wanted to do more than anything - make her proud. He wanted her to be proud to call him her boyfriend and he knew that he wanted his family to be proud too. He wanted to talk to his dad again and he wanted his mom stop being scared that he could die at any second. A part of him knew that as much as he wanted it that there was a part of him that didn't. A part of him that wanted the drugs more than anything but that was the part that he was just going to have to figure out how to control. When she told him that he needed to delete the number, Finn looked at her nervously as she handed the phone back to him. "I know I can't go back to it once I leave. I - I know," he breathed out as he looked at his contacts, him biting down on his lip. Finn looked at Rachel before he looked back to the phone, him blocking Kevin's number before he deleted him from his contacts. "There's really not many people in here, to be honest, babe. My dad smashed my old phone." Finn deleted and blocked a few more people and he let out a shaky breath as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. "All gone," he breathed out. Finn knew that it wasn't as simple as just deleting people. He obviously knew where he could score drugs. He knew where Kevin lived and he knew where a few other dealers were but he also knew that this was a step in the right direction. Plus, he wanted to show Rachel he was serious. He wanted to show her that he really was going to try his hardest to get clean. "And I brought everything I had with me so... before we leave we just... get rid of whatever is left," he said softly. Finn felt himself getting a bit of anxiety just thinking about getting rid of the remaining heroin he had with him but he knew better than to dwell on it. They still had time before they left and he didn't want to get himself worked up for no reason. "I'm serious about this, you know - about us. I don't want you losing sleep over me anymore. What kind of boyfriend am I if I don't try and do something to help you when you're always helping me? I never want you to feel the way you did the other day again," he told her. "And I want us to have rainy days like this at our own place all the time and I just - I want this to be normal. Not... not what happened the other night."

Rachel obviously knew that just deleting contacts wasn't going to stop Finn from finding his connections. He knew where people lived, he knew how to find them, and honestly, if he really wanted to, he could very easily find a way to get the numbers of the contacts that he had deleted. She wasn't stupid, but she really hoped that this was at least a step in the right direction. As Finn slid his phone back into his pocket, she offered him a small smile, trying to be supportive. She wanted him to get better and she knew that he needed to take a lot of little steps to get there. While he continued to speak, she looked at him and she could feel her heart racing slightly in her chest. While she wanted him to get better -- so much better -- she was honestly terrified for it all to happen because she really had no idea what was going to happen. "Okay." She whispered gently as she looked at him, knowing that she would have no problem helping him get rid of everything. "I- we'll get rid of it all. And I trust that you brought it all with you, but I mean, if you end up having anything at home, we'll get rid of it." She told him softly, rubbing his leg soothingly. "I'm serious about us too, Finn. I- I know that sometimes... sometimes I get upset at you or I- I get really emotional or whatever and it's just because I care about you and I... I want what's best for you. Last night was... definitely scary. I honestly didn't know what to do. I wasn't prepared for any of that, obviously. And I don't know, if something were to have happened to you and we would have left on me yelling at you, I would have hated myself. I know you don't want me to worry and think about worst case scenarios, but that's what I do. But I'm trying. And you know that I'm still going to barely sleep while you're getting better. I'm going to still be worried. But I'm worried because I care, you know? If you were with someone and they weren't worried about you... they really aren't looking out for you. And yeah, I mean, I'm kind of obsessive and I worry a little too much sometimes and I honestly probably always will." She sighed softly before looking into his eyes. After a moment, she went to kiss him gently, one hand moving to his cheek before she pulled away slowly and rubbed her thumb over his cheek gently. "I know everything seems really scary, but... but you're going to get better. It might take a really long time and you might relapse but... you'll get better. And if we have more obstacles along the way... we'll figure it out, okay? We'll figure it out together."

Finn looked at her sadly as she described how she had felt the night before. He knew he had scared the hell out of her with how high he had been and he felt horrible that he had put her in that situation. God, he needed to get clean because there was no way in hell he could keep doing this to her. Even though she said she would stick by him, he knew she wouldn't stay by his side forever. He didn't deserve her to if she didn't get better. "I know you care about me, Rach. I hope you know I don't take that for granted. I know you get frustrated with me and you have every reason to feel that way but I hope you know that deep down I care about you so much and you are a big reason why I want to get better." When she pressed her lips to his, he sighed content into the kiss, him offering her a small smile as she ran her thumb over his cheek. "I like that. Us figuring it out together." Finn wanted to tell her that he didn't deserve her because he knew he didn't but he knew what she was going to say. He knew she would tell him that he did deserve her and the way that she treated him. God, he was just so amazed by her and he knew he was so lucky to be her boyfriend. "You make me feel so lucky," he said softly as he looked into her eyes before he shifted his gaze downwards. "Like - fuck, Rach," he breathed out. "You're literally the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Inside and out. Like - when I first met you I just thought you were like... the stereotype of sorority girls and that you'd just be a hook up but I just - I can't get enough of you. I've never spent this much time with another girl before - even girls I've dated in the past. I can just - I can actually hang out with you and have fun with you and it's always just so good. Even when I feel bad, I feel good because you're my girlfriend," he told her. "I know you tell me to get clean for me - and I am... but I'm also doing this for you. Because if it was just me... I don't know if I'd be here right now." Finn sighed before he looked back into her eyes, him offering her a small smile. "I want to be here when I'm with you, you know? I see a future when I'm with you and I've never experienced that with anyone before. I'm so scared to hurt you Rachel. I know I have hurt you before but I'm scared that I'm really going to hurt you if something... happens to me. I just - I don't want to risk hurting you anymore because believe me, I think about it every time I get high even if you don't think I do."

Rachel wanted Finn and her to just take things one step at a time. It wasn't like they could just randomly turn things around and be perfect. There were going to be a lot of challenges. And while she was scared to experience those, she was also scared to not have Finn get better. If he didn't get better now, he wasn't going to make it and he wasn't going to be here a few years from now. He would get swept up in his addiction and just continue to go downhill and she couldn't see that happen to him. As Finn spoke, Rachel smiled gently and ran a hand through his hair before letting her hand move down to his chest and letting it rest there. Rachel really didn't know how she was lucky enough to have found Finn and she knew that she wasn't going to let him go for anything. She couldn't lose him -- not when every single piece of her future had already been imagined with him in it. "I know that maybe we... we didn't imagine this happening between us. In the beginning we thought that Chloe and Jamie were crazy for acting the way they did but I'm glad it happened the way it did. I'm glad we went through everything we did to get to where we are right now." She said, smiling gently at him. "And... please. Just... nothing is going to happen to you. Believe me. I've thought about it. Why do you think I can't sleep? I'm afraid that if I fall asleep and you... you'd overdose or something and I'd wake up and you'd be... gone. I've thought about it all. And I really don't know what I'd do but I try not to think about it. Because if we work on getting you better, we don't need to think about all of that." She breathed out, her taking in a deep breath before shaking her head and moving to turn more towards him, wrapping her arms around him and hiding her face in his neck slightly as she held onto him. "We're going to be fine. We're going to do this and we're going to.... to have everything we wanted. Once you get clean," She started as she pulled away from him to look at him again. "We'll get our lives together, you know? We'll get that place we were talking about and we'll be just us. You always talk about feeling so lucky to have me and that you love that I feel the way I do and I- I'm always going to feel that way about you, too. I never thought I'd find someone like you right now. I never thought that I'd feel the way I do. I kind of thought that I'd be single for a while, honestly. But I- I found you and I can't see my life going any differently. I just feel like this was all meant to happen, as weird as that sounds. I know that things aren't perfect. Things aren't the way I thought they'd be. But I'm happy that we are where we are. Where we're going, I guess. Things will be really amazing. I know they will."

Finn knew that he was glad him and Rachel went through what they did before they started dating because it made them stronger together. "I know, baby. Nothing is gonna happen to me. And I'm gonna get better so you won't have to worry about me," he told her. When she turned towards him more, her pressing her face into the crook of his neck, he smiled sadly as he held her in his arms. "We will," he breathed out, him nodding as she pulled away to look into his eyes. "It doesn't sound weird. I think this was all meant to happen too. We've been through a lot already and I know we're gonna go through a lot more but the other side of it all looks so good from here." Finn smiled as he looked at Rachel, him brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear as he gazed into her eyes. He knew they had a lot of serious talks but he knew they were so important. They were the reason that their relationship was growing the way it was. "We're really bad at watching shit, you know," he mentioned when he glanced over at the TV, more than aware that he had no clue what was going on in the movie she had put on. "We're either having a serious talk or fucking," he said with a laugh before he leaned in to press a soft kiss to her lips. "I'm so happy I get to be your boyfriend, you know. I'm a lucky guy." Finn smiled before he tugged her onto his lap, his hands moving to rest at her hips. He leaned in to press another kiss to her lips, him deepening it for a moment before he pulled away slowly. Finn smiled as their eyes met when he pulled away before he laid her down on the couch, him quickly moving over her, his body nestled between her legs. He moved his face closer to hers, his lips brushing against hers teasingly before he started tickling her side. He loved teasing her and fooling around with her and he knew that after a heavy day and a heavy conversation that they needed a little light to make everything feel okay. Because it wasn't and they both knew that but pretending for a little while made it feel like it was going to be okay eventually.

Rachel couldn't help but laugh at Finn's comment, knowing that he was right. They really did just have a lot of serious talks and they just fooled around all of the time but she didn't exactly mind. It wasn't like they didn't have quality time together -- they definitely did. And their relationship was definitely stronger from sharing the conversations they did have. "Mm, I'm the lucky one." She told him as he pulled her into his lap, her arms wrapped lazily around his neck as she sat with him. She leaned in to meet his kiss and she couldn't help but smile gently as he pulled away and smiled at her. God, she loved him. So much. And she really didn't know what she'd do if she ever lost him because after imagining their future together, she really couldn't imagine not having him in her life. As Finn moved her so her back was on the couch, she looked up at him before letting her eyes shut gently as he went to lean down to kiss her. When his lips didn't completely touch hers and he went to tickle her, Rachel giggled and arched away from him to get away from him tickling her. "Babe," She laughed softly, her holding onto his side as she used her other hand to try and push his hand away from her side. "Babe, stop." She giggled as she moved to grip onto his shirt with one of her hands as she laughed underneath of him. Rachel grabbed his hand after a moment to stop him from tickling her, Rachel looking up at him as she tried to catch her breath. "You're not being fair. You're way stronger than me," She said with a soft laugh, her smiling as she looked up at him. Rachel dragged her fingers teasingly along Finn's side, her hand underneath of his shirt slightly. "I've been so ticklish like my... whole life." She said, her looking up at him.

Finn knew that he would never get tired of the sound of Rachel's laugh. He knew that he made her sad - so sad, sometimes. But he knew he made her happy too and her giggling as he tickled her was proof of that. Sure, it was a small thing right now but he knew that he was going to do his best to keep making her happy whether it was something small like this or in bigger ways like him getting clean. He couldn't help but laugh as she grabbed his hand to stop him tickling her, him raising his eyebrows as he looked down at her. "I'm not being fair? It sounded like you were having a good time," he said teasingly. When she dragged her fingers teasingly along his side, he moved to grab her hand, a playful smile on his face as he met her gaze. "Your whole life, huh? I mean, I haven't known you your whole life but I had a pretty good idea you were ticklish." Finn smiled as he looked down at Rachel before he dipped his head down to press his lips to hers, kissing her passionately before he pulled away slowly and started trailing soft kisses down along the curve of her neck. "Is this being fair?" he whispered against her skin, him looking at her with love in his gaze. She was everything to him and he knew that he just wanted to spend as much time as he could making her happy and making her feel loved. Because he did love her even if he was way too terrified to tell her. He just didn't feel like he deserved to love her, if he was being honest. Finn smiled against her skin before he leaned over her once more, his eyes meeting hers. "I know you've been ticklish your whole life but I hope I didn't hurt your feelings," he said playfully. "I just like making you laugh," he said with a smile before a soft laugh escaped his lips as he brushed her hair away from her face.

Rachel loved the way that Finn was with her. And she knew that she would never love this with anyone else. It would never be the same with anyone else. "I'm very ticklish. Everywhere. But now you're just going to use that to your advantage," She said with a soft laugh before she met his kiss, a smile on her lips before she kissed him back passionately, her hand still holding onto the bare skin of his side. "Mm, still not fair." She whispered, her running her fingers along his side again gently. If Rachel could spend every day like this, she would. She would love to spend every day just completely in love and so, so happy. While yes, Finn made her very emotional and very upset sometimes, times like this made up for all of that. Because at the end of the day, Rachel still got to come home to Finn and she got to spend the night in his arms and that was all that mattered to her. Rachel let her eyes shut as his lips moved against her skin and she stayed underneath of him. "Mm, feel free to tickle me like that whenever you want. Especially if it ends with some kissing like that," She breathed out with a soft smile, her looking up at him as he brushed some hair out of her face. Rachel looked into his eyes for a moment before she moved her hand to the side of his face, her leaning up and pulling him down a bit closer to her. Rachel kissed him passionately as she went to thread her fingers into his hair. Rachel wanted to remember every single moment with him and she knew that these would be the moments she'd think back on when things were harder. When things seemed so difficult and impossible once they got back home. When she pulled away, Rachel shut her eyes tightly before looking up at him again and taking in a deep breath. There were so much that she wanted to say and all of it felt like it was just stuck in her throat. "I can't lose you," She breathed out suddenly, unsure of what else to say. "I just- I want this. You. Every day."

Finn when she told him that he could tickle her whenever he wanted if it ended like that, he couldn't help but smile back at her. He knew that they were young and that their relationship was new but he knew there was no way in hell he could feel like this with anyone else. The connection that they had was everything to him and he wanted to do whatever he could to prove to her that he was serious about them. Serious about her. When she moved her hand to the side of his cheek, he smiled softly as he looked into her eyes before she pressed her lips to his. Finn kissed her back passionately and as she threaded her fingers into his hair he knew that what they were feeling for each other was the real deal in every way. There was so much passion and intensity betweem them and it just wasn't possible for it to be anything less than the real deal. When she pulled away and their eyes met, he offered her a small smile. That smile, however, faltered as she spoke and he felt his heart ache in his chest as he looked at her. "Hey," he breathed out, him moving to sit up on the couch again before he tugged her onto his lap. "I'm right here, Rach," he told her. "You're not gonna lose me. I'm gonna be right here with you ever single day for as long as you'll have me." Finn knew she was scared and he was scared too but he knew she was the one taking the risk on him. He moved his hand up to cup her cheek as he looked into her eyes before he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered softly. "I promise."

Rachel really never thought that she'd be in a relationship like this. She never thought that there was any possible way that she'd be with anyone for this long of a time in college. Honestly, she knew most people weren't looking for a relationship and initially, Rachel wasn't either but Finn had just appeared and she wasn't going to lose him. She couldn't bear losing him. When Finn looked down at her, she looked to the side for a moment before she felt him sit up, moving the both of them into a sitting position. She moved both of her legs around him to straddle him, her arms wrapping around his neck slightly as he spoke to her. Rachel knew that they both felt the same. There was this intense connection between them and Rachel didn't know what she'd do if they stopped feeling this way. A part of her really didn't think it was possible -- she didn't think it was possible to stop feeling the way she did about Finn. As he cupped her cheek, she looked into his eyes and she could feel her heart aching in her chest. She didn't know what the future was going to bring, but she was going to make sure that she was with him every step of the way. She'd help him through everything she could and she was going to ensure that he felt safe and loved. She wanted him to feel like all of the pain of getting clean was going to be worth it. When his lips pressed against her forehead, she sighed softly and kept her head against his, her lips parted as she kept her forehead against his cheek while she let out a shaky breath. She moved her head slightly to kiss him, her pressing a gentle kiss to his lips before she pulled away enough to let her forehead rest against his, just simply allowing herself to rest against him for a moment. There was a part of her that didn't understand how her and Finn had such an intense relationship but she knew that it was just simply because of everything they had been through. And all of those things just created this bond between them that she knew would never break. Even if she was scared to lose him, a part of her knew that they'd find a way back to each other somehow. They had to. "I love you," She breathed out, unsure if the words had actually left her lips. A part of her was scared to admit it or even say it out loud because of all of the fears she had about their relationship. She had guarded herself for so long by swearing that they weren't official when they obviously were. She had convinced herself that one day things would be different, but every day, things just felt more real. Their relationship just continued to build and grow and it was everything she had ever wanted and more. Sure, Finn wasn't perfect -- he had baggage, but she knew that she had problems, too. And if she could make his life a little easier by helping him alleviate his problems and take on some of his baggage, she knew that she would. She would take all of his problems away if she could.

Finn wanted to assure Rachel that he wasn't going anywhere. He knew he had baggage, his addiction was the bulk of it, sure, but he had what felt like the world weighing him down as well. There were so many things that he had done that had fucked up his life and yet somehow amongst all the chaos he had still gotten Rachel. He really didn't know how or why she had come into his life but he knew he was grateful for it. He was grateful for her. Ever since they had met that had shared a special connection and while they hadn't acknowledged it right away, it truly had blossomed into not only a beautiful friendship but a relationship as well. When she pressed her lips to his, he kissed her back softly and he knew he could feel the intensity that was between them. It was always there, sure, but somehow in this moment he felt it more than ever and he knew that this feeling with her was better than anything a drug had ever given him. I love you. The second the words left her lips, Finn felt like he was dreaming. His eyes flickered from her mouth back up to meet her gaze, him trying to figure out if she had really just said that to him. She loved him and, god, he loved her. But a part of him didn't understand how she could possibly love him. "I love you too," he breathed out, his voice faltering slightly before he looked down. Finn laughed softly and shook his head before he brought his gaze back up to meet hers. "I love you so much," he whispered. Finn moved his hand to rest on her cheek, his thumb running along her soft skin for a moment as he just let the feeling soak in. Rachel loved him and he knew he was going to take care of that love. He was going to take care of her - of them. "I've never um... I've never said that to anyone before," he told her as he looked into her eyes. "And I've never had anyone say it to me either." Finn bit down on his lip for a moment before he leaned forward to press his lips to hers, him kissing her passionately before he pulled away. "I'm not going anywhere," he told her. "I know I can't take away the fear that you feel about losing me but I - please know that I care about you... I love you more than anything and I'm not going to leave you. I will never leave you," he whispered as he gazed into her eyes.

Rachel pulled away from him slightly as he repeated the words back to her and she could feel her heart skip a few beats in her chest. Rachel had loved people before. But she had never been in love with them like she was with Finn. Anything Rachel had felt for anyone previously had felt like nothing compared what she felt with Finn. This relationship really was so much more than she ever imagined it would be and she just couldn't believe that they were here sometimes. As Finn's hand moved to her cheek, she looked into his eyes and she moved her fingers to play with his hair slightly at the nape of his neck. Rachel loved that she was able to be the first person to say that to him. That she was the first person to express anything like that to him because she meant it. She meant it more than anything. "I- I know you can't take that fear away. And I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have that fear for as long as I have you but- but I promise, I'm trying to not let it make me afraid all of the time. I'm trying to live in the moment and think positively even if it's hard sometimes," She told him softly, her sighing gently. "We're going to make this work. I promise. When we go home, I- I know it's going to suck for you. I know it is. But I'm going to be there for you and I- when it gets easier, we just... we get to be us. We get... I don't know, Finn. We get to have everything we can't have now. And when we go back to school next semester after the summer we- we get to have a home. Our own place. And that's just- it's so amazing," She whispered, looking down for a moment as she took in a soft breath. "When I was talking to my mom that one morning, I- I told her that I was in love with you," She said before she went to look back up at him. "And she told me that she could tell. And she could tell that you loved me, too. I've felt like this for so long but I don't know.... I think a part of me was scared to say anything to make it feel real, as stupid as that sounds. But that's what I've been doing this whole relationship. Putting things on pause because I was scared. And I just- I don't want to be scared anymore. I'm not scared of being attached because I know that we can do all of this. That you can do it. And I don't want to pretend anymore, I just want to be us and to enjoy each other."

Finn nodded when Rachel told him that she was probably going to be scared to lose him as long as she had him. He wished she didn't feel that way but he understood why she did. The fear she had was real and they both knew it. It didn't take much to cause someone to OD and Finn was sure he had brought himself close to the edge several times. The night of the party with her friends being one of them. When she told him that they were going to make this work, he nodded and offered her a small smile. "We are going to make this work, I know we will. And finally getting to be us will be worth everything I go through when we get home," he told her. As she spoke about the conversation she had with her mom, he immediately remembered the morning and he couldn't help but smile softly. "It's not stupid that you didn't want to say it out loud. I - your mom is right. I've been in love with you for a while and I didn't say it because I... I didn't feel like I deserved to love you." Finn paused for a moment before a soft breath escaped his lips. "I don't want to pretend anymore either. I don't want to pretend that I don't love you and that I'm not thinking about a future with you every second we're together. I just want to be a real couple." Finn looked down sadly for a moment before he met her gaze once more. "I know this is going to be hard... this whole process or whatever of me getting clean. And I know I have a lot of dark thoughts in my head with or without the drugs. I just - I need you to know that even when you feel like you don't know what to say to me or you are frustrated because you don't know how to help me... you being there is enough. You are more than enough," he told her. "I'm so in love with you Rachel and even when you just lay with me or smile at me - it makes things a little better. You make me better." Finn smiled softly at her as he looked into her eyes and he knew that he was going to be grateful for her for the rest of his life. "We're gonna get through this. Me and you. We're gonna do it together, baby."

Rachel smiled softly as she looked at him and she ran her hand along the skin of his neck gently. "I knew that I felt something for you that was.... different. But this is just- a lot for me. For us. I don't know, I just- It's scary to me a little bit. Not necessarily just you, just all of this, you know? It's scary to be in a relationship like this sometimes. I know what we have is different and it's special and everything, but I think that's why it scared me so much." She whispered softly as she looked at him, seeing him look down for a moment. "Okay," She whispered, her leaning forward to kiss him gently once he finished speaking. Sometimes, she knew that he wasn't himself and she knew that would also translate to what would happen when he was getting clean. She would see him at very different points in his life and she needed to help him through that. She needed to help him through everything. "You make me better, too. Yeah, I'm... I'm worried about you and you're always on my mind but... but you make me feel better, too. You- you make me so happy. And you make me feel sane even when everything feels so crazy. Because yeah, the other night... you terrified me. It was crazy and you scared the hell out of me and sometimes when you're like that I feel so alone. And terrified because the thought of losing you is just scary but I- you're there. And you're like this. And... somewhere along the way I just learned to cherish these moments and memorize them and I try to think about those moments when things feel bad or when you feel so far away. Because I know it's not you, you know? This is you. And maybe you're thinking about getting high or you're going to be high but I- I just want to think about these moments because I hope that this is what it's like when you're better. When you're finally clean."

Finn felt his heart swell with love when Rachel told him that he made her feel better too. That he made her happy. All he ever wanted to do was make her happy and to know that he was somehow doing that meant the world to him. As she spoke about the other night, he looked down sadly, him nodding when she told him that he had terrified her. God, he hated that she had been so scared, that she felt alone when he was in that state and he knew he had to stop. He had to stop because he was putting her in such a scary position and he didn't want her to feel that pressure anymore. She didn't deserve that. "I know I'm not me when I'm like that. And the other night I was... I was bad, I know I was," he said softly. "When I'm with you I'm really not thinking about getting high. It's weird, I just - I feel it inside myself. It's almost like when you're thirsty, you know? It's like there's something empty and I need to fill it with drugs but it's not something I'm consciously thinking about all the time. Not until I'm in my own thoughts, really," he explained. "When I'm with you I just think about how badly I want to be the version of me that you see when you look at me." Finn offered her a small smile as he looked into her eyes before he pressed a kiss to her lips. "I just love you so much and I promise I'm going to make loving me worth it. I promise we're going to be okay." Finn was so in love with Rachel and while he knew he couldn't exactly promise that everything would be fine, he was going to do his best to make this better for her - for them.

[hudson-finn]

Cutting Ties

Tagging: Finn & Rachel Location: Austin, Texas Notes: When Jamie tells Finn that Rachel has been hiding things from him, he immediately runs away from the situation.

Finn was finally starting to feel really good about everything between him and Rachel. He figured for some people, living together could destroy their relationship but for him and Rachel, it made them so much stronger. He loved spending time with her and now that they were allowing themselves to essentially be official, he was so fucking happy. He knew that he couldn't really be her boyfriend until he was clean but he was enjoying where they were in the moment. As he hung out with Jamie, he looked over at his friend and sighed when he saw he had that serious look on his face. "If you're about to tell me to go to rehab again, dude, I swear, I'm gonna hit you," he said with a sigh, knowing that he just didn't want to hear it right now. "I actually wasn't but I do want to talk to you about something. Well - about Rachel," Jamie said. "Um... okay. What about her?" Finn was immediately confused and he honestly had no clue where this conversation was about to go. "Chloe told me that she's starting to struggle in school a lot because she's so focused on you. And um, apparently someone told some higher ups in the sorority about you and she's going to lose her spot if you don't leave. I didn't... I didn't want to be the person to tell you this but clearly Rachel hasn't said anything yet. I don't want you like... on the street but I know you don't want to hurt her either." Finn stared at his friend in shock for a moment before he looked down guiltily. "So I am ruining everything she's worked for," he breathed out, him shaking his head before he got up from the couch. "Then I'm gonna move out of there. I'm not doing this to her. I - I fucking knew it. I fucking knew I'd ruin this shit for her," he said before he hurried out of Jamie's apartment and back towards the sorority house. The second he was in Rachel's room, he packed all his shit into his duffel bag as quickly as he could. He was sure he was forgetting some things but he didn't care - he couldn't keep hurting the only person he cared about. The second he had all his things, he headed out of the house and felt his heart sink in his chest when he realized he had no where to go. He walked towards the large park in the middle of town and found a secluded area he could stay in for a little while, him quickly preparing a needle before he shot up. He laid his head back against his duffel bag and closed his eyes as the drug started kicking in. All he wanted was to be numb for the day because he knew he needed to be so he didn't think too much about all the harm he had caused Rachel.

Rachel sighed as she walked in the sorority house with her backpack over one shoulder, more than ready to just relax with Finn and enjoy the rest of her day. She had gotten up incredibly early to sit in the library and finish homework and she was happy to be at least almost finished with everything. When she walked in her room and didn't see Finn in his usual spot, she stopped in her tracks for a moment and looked down the hall into the bathroom that was also empty. When she went into her room and didn't see any of his clothes on the floor with hers, she went to open a couple of the drawers that held his stuff to find them completely empty. Rachel grabbed her keys and wallet before she started to rush downstairs, her seeing Chloe talking to a few girls. "Where the fuck is he?" Rachel yelled, the girls breaking up their conversation incredibly quickly. "What the fuck are you talking about?" She said, Rachel feeling her anger rise. "Oh, shut up. Finn. What the fuck did you say to him?" After a few moments of Chloe playing dumb, Rachel rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll go bother your fucking boyfriend. He's at home, right? Otherwise he'd be here with you." She said, quickly starting to walk out of the house and drive to Jamie's place. When she arrived, she went to knock on the door loudly, seeing one of his roommates open it. When the guy tried to talk about no one else being home, she pushed her way in and saw Jamie, her blood boiling. "What the fuck, Jamie? What the fuck did you say to him?" She asked loudly, her feeling her heart racing in her chest. "Woah, relax. He left on his own. He came here to tell me that he was over it and he left." Rachel scoffed, her looking at him. "Yeah, right. That's cute, considering the conversation we had the other day about being all exclusive and shit. Making plans for us." She moved closer to him and she saw him hold his hands up in defense. "Look, I- I'm helping the both of you out, alright? God. I said enough to get him to leave, is that what you want to hear? Chloe's worried about you. I'm worried about you. And Finn. He's not good for you and he's definitely just going to drag you down with him. And I-" Rachel leaned forward to slap him roughly, her feeling tears sting in her eyes. "You don't get to decide that shit. You don't get to say if he's bad for me or if he's ruining me. You two know nothing about anything." Rachel honestly couldn't believe that this was happening. She couldn't believe that Finn would actually believe him, either. But then again, he always worried about being a burden to her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Chloe walk in and Rachel could feel herself quickly growing overwhelmed. "Where is he?" She said again, Jamie just shrugging and quickly saying that he didn't know. "Fuck you." She said, Chloe quickly moving over to the two of them. "Rachel, calm the fuck down." "You calm the fuck down. You never gave a shit about me being happy, anyway. If you were any part of this, you don't give a fuck about me or Finn." She started to back up, shaking her head as she started to move towards the door. "Don't ever bother fucking talking to me ever again until you actually can apologize for doing this. And I swear to god, if anything happened to him, you'll wish you never fucking did anything." She said before rushing out of the house and going to her car, driving everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. She really wasn't sure where he'd be, especially because it wasn't like he had many places to go. She doubted that he'd go to any dealers or anything and the only other friend he had was Jamie, so it was just a wild goose chase to find him. When she got to town, Rachel just parked and paid the meter before she started walking around, wiping at her eyes slightly. It was stupid to cry, but she honestly felt like her heart was going to just beat out of her chest. She knew that she was walking for hours to find him and she was sure that it was very possible that she walked right past him multiple times. However, she kept walking and when she eventually was walking through a park that she saw dimly lit by some light poles, she walked through it and made sure to check practically every section she could. When she saw someone on the ground with a very familiar bag, she ran over to him, her stopping the second she was close before walking the last few steps over to him. When she saw that it was actually Finn, she took in a deep breath and wiped underneath of her eyes again. "Get up. We're going home," She said, her heart racing in her chest. "I've been looking for you for hours, Finn. Please, let's just go back to the house and we can talk there."

Finn couldn't believe that he really was bad for Rachel. He knew his drug use was a huge problem and that it was something she worried about but he had tried so hard to keep his struggles separate from her. Whenever he had the chance he tried to help her study, he tried to help when she was overwhelmed. All he wanted to do was be her support as much as she was his and yet apparently he wasn't. Apparently he never had been. After he had shot up, Finn had drifted off to sleep, his eyes fluttering open hours later. Immediately he realized just how much time had passed and while being on the street again was scaring the hell out of him, he figured it was only a matter of time. Now he truly had no where else to go and there was nothing that he could do about it. He couldn't keep weighing down Rachel, he couldn't stay with his parents and he knew Jamie didn't want him to stay either. There were no options left and he could feel himself starting to panic. Just as the thought of shooting up again started to enter his mind, Rachel walked up to him and he looked at her in shock when she told him to get up. "Rach, no," he breathed out as he looked up at her, him moving to sit up. He could tell how exhausted she was just by looking at her and he couldn't imagine how long she had probably been searching for him. "I - I can't go back with you, Rach, I'm sorry," he told her. "I - why didn't you tell me that you were struggling with your grades?" he asked her. "A-And why didn't you tell me that you could lose your place in the sorority because of me?" Finn looked at Rachel with sadness in his gaze, knowing that he never wanted to take advantage of her, he never wanted to be a burden on her. "I'm not going to keep hurting you, baby. I can't - I won't be that person that holds you back when you were doing so well without me," he said softly. "You know I care about you and you know that I... I want everything with you but if me being in your life is toxic then I... I'm sorry. I can't come home." Finn felt horrible but he knew that if he was hurting her that he couldn't selfishly stay there and keep doing so.

Rachel honestly couldn't believe this was happening. She hated that this was what everything had come to and she couldn't believe that he had believed every word that had come out of Jamie's mouth. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She asked, tears in her eyes. "Everything he said is a fucking lie, Finn. I got home from class and I walked into our room and all of your shit was downstairs so I- I went downstairs and saw Chloe and she acted dumb so I marched my ass over to Jamie's place and he of course fucking played dumb, too." She ran a hand through her hair, looking to the side for a moment. "I'm not struggling with my grades. I'm not... having trouble with the sorority or anything. I'm not having any problems. I just- Jamie told me that he would have said anything to get you to go. I kind of slapped him and asked him where you were and he said he didn't know. I mean, maybe he really didn't, but I- I drove into town and I've been fucking walking around for like five hours," She said before letting out a shaky breath and moving to sit down next to him on the ground. Instinctively, she went to wrap her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and hiding her face in his neck for a moment as she tried to calm herself down slightly. After a few moments, she pulled away enough to move both of her hands to his cheeks, looking into his eyes. "Why would you believe all of that shit after... after how we've been for the past couple of weeks? Babe, if I was struggling with school, you would have known. I would have talked to you about it. You aren't... toxic, Finn. Please never think that. I- I walked into my room and I got so scared that something worse happened to you and I just- fuck, Finn. You can't do this shit to me. You didn't even say bye. Or leave a note. Anything. You just left." She rubbed her thumb along his cheek for a moment before sighing. I'm never talking to either of them ever again until they fucking apologize. Because I- I fucking hate them right now. I really thought that I- I wasn't going to find you, you know? You could have been anywhere. I searched literally three different parks and I went all over town looking up and down streets and alleys and shit and I just... got so worried. I want you home, babe. Please. I never wanted any of this to happen. I never would have wanted you to run away like this from me."

Finn looked at Rachel with shock in his eyes when she told him that everything Jamie had said was a lie. That he would said anything to get him to leave. "He lied?" he breathed out. Finn knew that Jamie was concerned about him getting clean but he never thought his friend would lie to him like that. He never thought his friend would drive him away from the one person he needed because of his opinion of the situation. "You slapped him? Fuck, Rachel... I'm so sorry," he said softly as he looked at her, his arms immediately wrapping around her when she moved to sit in the grass beside him. His face fell when she moved her hands to his cheeks and he knew that he shouldn't have believed Jamie. He should have spoken to her first. "I - I don't know. I just - I didn't think he would lie about stuff like that and I thought maybe you were hiding that from me because you didn't want me to feel guilty," he explained. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I didn't - I didn't even think I just... I felt so bad that I was hurting you and I just thought that the best thing would be if I disappeared." Finn nodded as she spoke, knowing that he absolutely shared her anger towards their friends. "I can't believe they would... they would do that to me. I can't believe they'd lie to me and make me live on the fucking street instead of just... just understanding that we're together." Finn looked at her sadly before he pressed a kiss to her lips, him deepening it for a moment before he pulled away. "I'm sorry I left you, Rachel, I didn't mean to," he said, his voice heavy with emotion. "I just feel like everyone thinks that I'm so bad for you... that I'm useless in a relationship and I guess hearing it from Jamie and thinking that it was real just made all of those doubts feel true," he said softly. "I'm so sorry you were running around all day looking for me. I should have - I should have talked to you first and I promise I'll never do that again." Finn pressed another kiss to her lips before he tugged her closer to him, him closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm so scared I'm gonna hurt you, Rachel. Please know that's the only reason why I reacted the way I did."

Rachel wished that their friends would stay out of the situation and just let them live their lives, especially because she knew how little their friends knew about their situation. They knew nothing about what they talked about or how they felt because they never cared to ask. And when they did talk to them, they always said how things would never work out. Rachel understood the odds -- she knew that there was a chance that Finn wouldn't get clean but she knew that she'd rather be with him and enjoy him now than wait for him to get clean. Finn knew that she wanted him to get clean, but now, after tons of conversation, she knew it wasn't that easy for him and it would never be easy to just stop. "I can't believe the shit he said either, but I'm pissed off. I just- I know that you always are worried about fucking up shit for me, but you could never fuck things up for me, okay? You just... you never would do that to me. I'm so sorry that you've been out here all day because of fucking Jamie. "You should have talked to me first. Btu I- I understand why you didn't. I get it. I know that you're scared about ruining things for me or... or fucking things up but I promise you, you won't. I just- after everything we talked about? Babe, I just-" She sighed, her looking down for a moment before kissing him back and moving to hold him back just as tightly. "It's okay. You just... I understand why you did it, but I just want you to be home with me, babe. Please. You being out here is so fucking scary to me," She whispered against him as she held onto him. "I just... I can't imagine you being out here again. You have a home. With me. And I- I don't want you to feel like you're alone because you're not. You always have me, okay? I- no matter what. I promise you that I'm always going to be here for you."

Finn held Rachel back tightly in his arms and he knew that he couldn't mess this up with her. He had to stop listening to his doubts and listening to other people and start listening to the one person who cared about him more than anything. She was the only person who would always be there and he knew that he had to start getting it through his head that him running away and being M.I.A was worse than him struggling with his addiction yet still being with her. "I want to be home with you too, Rach. Believe me... this is scary to me too. I don't want to be out here," he told her. When she told him that he had a home with her, he felt his heart swell with love and he knew he cared about her more than he had ever cared about anyone. "I'll always be here for you too. And I promise I'm not gonna run away again. I'm not going anywhere." Finn pressed another kiss to her lips before he pulled away from her slightly, him offering her a small smile as he moved to stand up. He reached down to grab his duffel bag before he slung in over his shoulder. "Should we go home?" he asked her softly as he held out his hand for her to take. Once they were walking back through the park towards her car, he couldn't help but smile over at her before he looked back ahead of them. "I'm sorry that this whole situation is bringing out the worst in our friends. I really didn't want to effect your friendship with Chloe because I know how important she is with you. And with Jamie I just... I never thought he'd lie to me like that. Especially when he knows how much I care about you. I swear, the second I started using he just stopped trusting me at all. And I get it to a degree, you know? I mean, I was shitty to everyone at the end of last semester but I - I'm trying to be better now. I'm trying not to let it effect anyone but me, you know? It's my addiction, it's my problem. No one elses." Finn sighed and he knew that as hurt as he was by what Jamie had done, he was also angry and he truly didn't know how he would react when he did end up seeing his friend.

Rachel wished that she could forget about their friends and the shit that they had done, but she knew that she couldn't exactly ignore Chloe when she lived across the hall from her. However, she definitely would do her best to avoid her because Rachel wasn't exactly going to be able to keep herself calm when she'd eventually see Jamie and Chloe again. "Yeah, we should go home," She whispered, her moving to stand up with him and taking his hand. She hated that their friends had done this to them, especially after so long of being friends. "You shouldn't be apologizing for anything, Finn. At all. It's not your job to apologize for the shit that they're doing. And if Chloe thought it was smart to help Jamie with shit like this, then she's not really my friend. She knows that you're the one thing I really care about and I just- I don't understand why she'd hurt me and hurt you just to try and make the situation better for them. They're being fucking stupid," She said, her still holding onto his hand as she walked with him towards her car that was parked a little bit away. When they were close, she unlocked it and let go of his hand to get into her car. Once they were both inside, she sighed for a moment and let her head rest back against the head rest for a moment. "I'm going to sleep so amazingly tonight, I can already tell," She said before turning her car on and starting to drive back towards the sorority house with Finn. "I know we've been like... opening up to each other all of the time now and I- I just want us to keep doing that. If something happens, can we please just promise each other that we'll talk to each other about it? We just... need to communicate and everything. I know we are already but I just don't want us to lose that." She knew that they wouldn't -- they had been pretty good at opening up with each other. Rachel just didn't want something like this to tear them apart and she didn't want to lose him. Once they pulled up in front of the sorority house and she saw Jamie's car parked on the street, she sighed. "I'm gonna kill him, I swear." Rachel said before taking a deep breath and looking over at Finn. "Can we just... try and avoid them? I know myself and I'm still gonna say shit but I'd rather not start a fight in the middle of the sorority house and I don't need you to have a black eye. Let's just... go upstairs and try and ignore them." Rachel said before getting out of the car and going towards the house, moving to hold Finn's hand again. She didn't want to let him go, especially after everything they had gone through. Once they walked inside, Rachel saw Chloe and Jamie in the living room, her glaring over at him. "Are you happy now?" Rachel lifted her hand that was holding onto Finn's, glaring at the two of them. "Fuck you," She said, moving to wrap her arm around Finn's waist as she continued to walk towards the steps to go up to her room.

Finn nodded as Rachel said that Chloe and Jamie were being fucking stupid. "They really are. I just - I know when I see him I'm gonna get so fucking angry and I really don't want to fight with him but it's like he wants me to hate him," he said as they headed back towards the car. Once they reached it and they were inside, he tossed his duffel bag into the back seat before he let himself relax slightly. "Yeah? I think I'll sleep okay too. Especially when I have you next to me," he said with a small smile. He looked out the window as she started driving them back to the sorority house and when she told him that they had to keep being open with each other, he nodded. "I know we do and I promise I'm going to keep being completely honest with you, baby," he said softly. When they pulled up, he followed her gaze to Jamie's car and he couldn't help but sigh. "Believe me, I will too. And... yeah, I'll try and avoid them. I don't want to fight today but I can't promise it won't happen at all next time I see him." Finn got out of the car and grabbed his bag before he walked with Rachel into the house. The second he saw Jamie and Chloe, he felt his blood start to boil and he knew that if he wasn't holding Rachel's hand that he would probably throw a punch at Jamie. "Don't you ever fucking lie to me or try to manipulate me to do what you want because you think it's fucking right," he said angrily to them. "You don't know shit," he said, trying his best not to raise his voice as to not draw attention from the rest of the house. "Fine, I give up. Go shoot up and OD, Finn. I was just trying to help you both," Jamie said, shaking his head. Finn stopped in his tracks for a moment before he looked down at Rachel and kept walking. "Let's just get away from them before I snap," he said angrily. Once they were up the stairs and in her room together, he let out a small sigh of relief, him tossing his back to the floor before he turned to face Rachel. "I don't want to focus on anything other than you tonight," he told her before he slipped his arms around her waist and tugged her into his embrace. "I should probably take a shower since I've been sleeping outside all day. I don't even know how long I was there, honestly. I kind of just... got there and got high and just passed out," he told her. "You could always join me if you want to," he whispered as he held her close to him.

Rachel knew that they couldn't fight Jamie and Chloe right now, especially when everything was so fresh in their minds. Honestly, if she had the chance, she knew that she'd honestly just start fighting the two of them immediately. They needed time to cool down and she definitely needed time to be together and not worry about anything else. She didn't want to start a fight in the middle of the house, but she knew that it was definitely a possibility in the future. As soon as they were upstairs, Rachel sighed gently and shut the door gently behind the two of them. Hearing that he wanted to focus on her made a small smile rise on her lips. "Mm, I definitely like the sound of that," She said with a grin as she looked at him, feeling his arms wrap around her. "You definitely need a shower. You don't like... smell or anything but I mean, I'd want a shower if I was laying on the grass all day. And hmm, I definitely would like to join you." Rachel leaned up to kiss him before pulling away slightly and biting down on her bottom lip slightly. "Maybe we can unpack your stuff later. Your drawers are kind of empty and I definitely don't have enough stuff to fill them," She said softly, her hand moving to grab slightly at his shirt, a smile on her lips. Rachel pulled away from him again to grab some leggings and a shirt out of her drawer before she looked at him. "I'm gonna start that shower for you." Rachel was definitely excited to relax as well and she knew that all she wanted was time alone with Finn after practically almost losing him for good. It was terrifying to think about not being able to see him ever again, especially with how much she felt for him.

Finn smiled as he saw Rachel smile, more than happy to just be alone with her and forget everything that had happened. He couldn't believe Jamie and Chloe but he knew that for now he just had to forget about it and focus on his girl. She was the only one who mattered anyway. When she said that she'd like to join him in the shower, he couldn't help the small smile that pulled up at the corner of his lips. "Mm, good," he breathed out as they shared a soft kiss, him watching as she bit down on her lip. "Yeah, we can unpack later. I don't have much but I want everything back where it's supposed to be." Finn smiled as he looked at Rachel, her grabbing herself leggings and a shirt and he nodded when she said that she was going to start the shower. "Okay, baby. I'll catch up with you in a second." Finn turned back to his bag and tossed it onto the bed before he dug through it to grab a t-shirt and sweatpants. He was looking forward to just spending the day with Rachel and he knew that they both needed it desperately. They both needed each other desperately and he didn't want to focus on anything else anymore. He hated that this kind of negativity was coming from people who were supposed to be their best friends but he figured there wasn't really anything they could do about it. Finn grabbed his clothes and made his way into the bathroom, his face lighting up at the sight of Rachel. "Just knowing that we're about to take a shower is relaxing me. After today I just, I need this so much, you know? I also need you so much. Whenever I'm with you I can just forget about everything else," he breathed out as he set his clean clothes on the counter. Finn tugged his shirt up and over his head before he turned to look at himself in the mirror, him frowning slightly when he saw that track marks that were pretty visible on his arm. "I should probably get some long sleeved shirts when we visit your parents," he said softly as he ran his hand over one of then self consciously, him shaking his head before he looked down at the floor.

Rachel looked back at Finn as he walked into the bathroom, a small smile rising on her lips as she looked at him. She was definitely happy he was back and she hoped that they could forget about everything that had happened today. "Yeah, a shower is gonna feel really amazing." She was honestly just happy to be able to spend some time with him away from everyone else. Rachel went to pull up on her shirt before tossing it to the floor and starting to unbuckle her belt to take off her jeans as she listened to the water run in the background. As she watched him take off his shirt, she caught sight of him looking at himself in the mirror and she sighed softly. Shaking her head gently at his words, she moved over to him and she ran her hand over his arm gently before leaning forward to press a kiss to his chest. "Babe, it's gonna be hot out. You can bring some long sleeves but... maybe when we're alone you can just wear short sleeves. Or maybe we can get you some like... some button downs that you can roll the sleeves up a bit on or something," She said, smiling sadly. "It's okay. I mean... babe. I wish that you didn't have to deal with this, but I just... it's okay, you know? And I- if they ever found out about you being an addict? They wouldn't automatically hate you, okay?" Rachel looked up into his eyes and she let out a soft breath. "But those track marks? They don't define you. They don't make you who you are. You're so much more than that. And I- I don't want you to think that my parents are going to... think that you're the most horrible person if they were to ever catch sight of one."

Finn looked over at Rachel as she moved towards him, a sad smile pulling up as she pressed a kiss to his chest. "I - yeah, that could work. And I'll wear short sleeves when I'm alone with you, I just... I really don't want them to know anything when I first meet them. I want to make a good impression," he told her. When she told him that him being an addict wouldn't make her parents automatically hate him, he simply nodded. While he knew that they might not hate him, he knew it would change their opinion of him and it scared him that they would tell her he was wrong for her the way that every other person seemed to. "It's not that I think that they're like... going to hate me for it or think that I'm a piece of shit. I just get scared that, you know, like everyone else, will say I'm wrong for you. That I'm a waste of your time. I don't know." Finn sighed before he shook his head, him bringing his focus back to Rachel. "Maybe you can put make up on them or something and I can wear normal shirts without them seeing anything," he suggested. "Let's stop wasting water and get into that shower. Lose the clothes, Berry," he said playfully as he tugged off his pants and underwear before stepping into the shower. The second the warm water hit his skin, he let his eyes slipped closed for a moment, a content sigh escaping his lips as he did so. "That feels so nice," he breathed out as he turned to look at Rachel with a small smile. "You coming?" he asked her, knowing that he just wanted to forget everything else and focus solely on her since she was the only person that made him happy.

Rachel nodded at his suggestion of makeup, a small smile rising on her lips. "Yeah, I can put some concealer on them for you if you want. That way you can wear whatever you want. Of course, I mean, if we go swimming or something, you're kind of fucked because the makeup'll come off, but we can always bring it with us if we're like... going to go out with my parents or something. Whatever you want. I don't want you to feel restricted to wear long sleeves, you know? We live in Texas. It's hot. You don't need to wear long sleeves every day." She didn't want him to be uncomfortable wearing long sleeves, but she also didn't want him to be uncomfortable being exposed if he wore short sleeves, so she figured that makeup was definitely an option. As Finn went into the shower, dropping his pants and his underwear, she grinned, rolling her eyes playfully at his words. "Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." She said with a soft laugh as she brought her hands behind her back to undo her bra, tossing it to the floor with her other clothes before she finished taking off her jeans and her underwear before following him into the shower. "Mm, this definitely does feel very nice," She said before she went to wrap her arms around him, a soft laugh escaping her lips. "I'm really glad you're here. I don't know what I'd do without you," She murmured softly, looking up at him before pulling away enough to get fully under the stream of water, running her hands through her hair. She sighed contently before grabbing some shampoo and starting to lather her hair. "I kind of can't wait to get away. It's gonna feel so amazing to have a little vacation with you. I don't know. Just so we can... be ourselves. I think you'll really like it there. And you can sleep in my childhood bed. Not many people get to say that," She said with a smirk, continuing to massage the shampoo in her hair before rinsing it out after a few moments. "When we come back, the rest of the semester is gonna fly by. Unfortunately, I'll have finals a little bit after but... I'll drag you to the library so you can safely escort me home after a long nights work," Rachel teased.

Finn smiled at Rachel as she moved into the shower with him before he slipped his arms around her as she did the same. "I'm glad I'm here too. I'm never gonna leave you again, I promise," he told her. Finn knew that he wasn't going to trust anyone other than her anymore, not when everyone around him seemed to think that isolating him and making him hit 'rock bottom' was going to help. Being with Rachel helped him because being with her made him see a potential in his life - a potential in himself. Being alone on the street just made him want everything to be done and over with already. Finn watched as Rachel ran her hands through her hair and he couldn't help but admire how stunning she was. Once she finished up with the shampoo, he grabbed the bottle and dumped some into his hand as well before he started scrubbing it into his hair. "I can't wait either. It's gonna be really good to like... get away from all the negativity here and just be together and feel normal. And, I mean, I'm pretty honored that I get to sleep in your childhood bed. I'm sure we'll make the most of it." A playful smile formed on his face before he washed out the shampoo. "I actually like going to the library with you. I mean, I hope I'm not like super distracting or anything but it's kind of nice to just sit with you while you study. Plus, it reminds me that I don't have to study anymore and that kind of feels good." Finn laughed softly before he grabbed conditioner and lathered it into his hair, him rinsing it out quickly afterwards. "I'm really proud of you, you know," he told her. "For doing so well with school and everything. I honestly don't know how you do it when I feel like you have a million things going on but I just - I'm really proud of you and you um... you know, you make me want to try a little harder for myself too," he said as he looked into her eyes. "I mean, I don't know if that means going to school or finding a job that will have me but it... it means something and I guess that's a good start."

Rachel looked at Finn with a small smile as he spoke. She definitely agreed with him -- this was going to be a great way for the two of them to just have some time away from all of the negativity that was surrounding them. And hopefully, when they returned back to school, they'd be able to actually have some sort of a civil conversation with their friends and not just attack them upon fight sight. She knew that her anger wouldn't go away for a while after what they did, especially because she knew that Finn could have definitely gotten very far away without a single word of goodbye and there was a possibility that she would never find him again. "I mean, I'm glad you like going to the library with me. You're not distracting or anything. And I mean, honestly, it helps me concentrate because if we're both there, I know I have to finish quickly so I can get home with you," She said with a smile. "You know that you could do anything you wanted, Finn. You just need to try. Like... I mean, maybe next fall, you can try applying to another school. Even if it's community college so you can get your associate's or something so that you can get a decent job. I'm going to be working in a school next year for experience for my certification so I won't be around all that much and you know... maybe school will be good for you again. Some structure. Because you're not as... intense as you were at the beginning of last semester and maybe you'd be able to actually go to class and make the most of it, you know?" She offered him a small smile and shrugged before she started to run some conditioner through her hair as she looked at him. "But... whatever you want to do. I'm kind of looking forward to getting out of this sorority house after next year. I have the money to get my own apartment or something, but it's just more convenient to just live here. I still have my own room and shit." Rachel went to run her hair under the water to rinse it, a soft sigh escaping her lips before she went to wrap her arms around Finn, a small smile on her lips as she looked up at him. "I'm definitely looking forward to graduating after next year. I want to start my life and shit away from all of this drama and stuff. I like being in the sorority and stuff, but girls are so fucking catty and shit. All they want is drama and it's so annoying. I mean, I can be a bitch sometimes, but I don't start shit for nothing, I guess."

Finn smiled softly when Rachel told him that he could do anything he wanted. She believed in him so much and a part of him didn't understand why when he didn't feel he deserved it. "It's just that even if I get a degree I um... I don't know if I'll get a job, babe. I have a felony on my record and I just got it. As much as I want to find something, that's going to make so many employers totally avoid me. You know, when I was at my dad's house I applied to work as a cashier and I couldn't even get that because of it." Finn knew that his record had really fucked him over and as much as he wanted to find something, he had no idea where to start. "I'll figure it out though, I guess. I mean, I have no choice. I'm not gonna mooch off of you forever." Finn knew she wanted him to go back to school and finish his education but a part of him just didn't even know if that would be worth it since the college lifestyle was what had gotten him into his mess. "I'm looking forward to you getting out of this sorority house too," he said with a laugh. "And I'm so excited to watch you graduate. You're so fucking smart, you know that?" he told her before he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "And you're not a bitch. You're like... the nicest person I've ever met. I mean, no one should ever even think about messing with you but you're not a bitch unless someone forces that side out of you." Finn smiled as he looked down at her before he slipped his arms around her waist, him tugging her closer to him as he dipped his head down to press a kiss to her lips. "After you graduate, maybe I'll have my shit together enough where we can like... get a place together and really start like... growing up, you know? I think it'll be cool and I um, I love that being with you makes me think about the future that way. I honestly have a hard time picturing it without you." It amazed him how positive Rachel was for him and he knew he was so incredibly lucky to have her. There was no other girl who had ever made him feel so secure the way she did and he truly did feel like if he got his shit together that he could have an amazing life with her.

Rachel looked at Finn and smiled sadly. "Well... if you can't get a job, then... I don't know. Maybe you can make something for yourself. Make your own job just like... doing something. I don't know. You can figure it out, though. I know you can. And babe, you aren't mooching off of me. I haven't even bought that much shit for you. And I mean, there's food in the kitchen and everything. I mean, obviously I'm gonna help you out with stuff. I'm not gonna watch you walk around every semester with the same like... ten shirts that you own." Rachel let out a soft laugh as she looked at him before she let a small smile rise on her lips. She loved the way that Finn was with her, especially because everyone always thought he was so different. Everyone thought he just did nothing and was horrible to her just because he used. However, he really was incredibly sweet to her and he wanted some kind of a future with her. As Finn slipped his hands around her waist, she went to wrap her arms around him as well as she met him for a kiss. "You better have your shit together," She said with a small smile. "But yeah. We can do that. I'd love to get a place and just... be together. It'd be nice. I mean... we live together now basically and we haven't killed each other yet, so I think it would be nice. We would at least be able to have more space, though. I mean, our own bathroom and our own kitchen and you know... not over twenty girls judging us as we're making out in the kitchen," She laughed softly as she looked up at him before leaning up slightly on her toes to kiss him. "I'd really like that," She whispered against him before kissing him again and pulling away only slightly to look up at him. "It feels like that's all so far away but it's really not. I know that you don't always think about the future or sometimes you don't look forward to it but I- I'm really happy that you can see it with me," She breathed out before kissing him gently. Rachel really did want a life with Finn. She wanted to be able to truly be with him and she wanted to build some kind of life for her and and for Finn. Rachel knew it was all possible even if people always told her it wasn't. She knew that Finn had the ability to really be clean and to start a new life and she wanted to be able to help him get there.

Finn laughed softly as Rachel spoke. "I will have my shit together by then, I promise," he told her. He knew that in reality he couldn't exactly promise that but he knew he would try. He had to try because if he didn't he was for sure going to lose her. "Having our own place would be awesome. You're already the best roommate I've ever had." They shared a soft kiss before her eyes met his and he looked at her with adoration in his gaze as he held her close to him. "I can see it with you. I can see everything with you." He deepened the kiss for a moment before he pulled away slowly, him pressing a kiss to her forehead and staying there for a moment before he looked down at her. "We should probably get out, huh?" he said softly. "Before we have someone banging on the door telling us to get out." While him and Rachel certainly had a lot of privacy, he was definitely looking forward to the day that they could have their own place. Living with the amount of people they did meant that they couldn't exactly lounge around wherever they wanted but he couldn't exactly complain. He got to live in a massive house for free with Rachel and he knew that he was lucky to be in the situation he was when it could be much, much worse. Finn pressed another kiss to Rachel's lips before he pulled away from her, him rinsing off once more before he grabbed a towel and stepped out of the shower. "It's kind of weird, you know," he started as he turned to face her while he dried off. "Living with a girl. Like... I've obviously had girlfriends or whatever in the past but I've never lived with someone like this. It's just - it's crazy. In a good way but, you know, it's pretty insane," he said with a small smile on his face as he looked at her, him running the towel over his wet hair before he focused back on drying off his body.

Rachel couldn't wait to move out with Finn after a while if that was actually their plan. It would be amazing to have things that were actually theirs and that weren't just owned by every girl in the house. She just wanted to be able to have their own things and have their own space to be themselves and do what they wanted. Of course, they relaxed and did things around the house, but she wasn't going to actually just go and cuddle on the couch for hours watching a movie like she would do normally if she was at home or if she had her own place with him. If they wanted time on their own, they had to go and just relax in her room. As soon as they were out of the shower, she looked at him as she started drying herself off. "Well, I mean, it's not like I've lived with a guy, either. I've always been on my own at my house until I came on campus and well... I never even lived in a dorm because before school even started for the semester, I was on campus rushing and then I moved into the house. I still lived in one of the small rooms here so I lived with someone else, but being important to have your own room pays off," She laughed softly. "I like living with you, though. It's nice. You're easy to live with, for the most part. I mean, I'm at school a lot of the day, so we have time apart -- it's not like we're on top of each other every second." She continued to dry herself off before she started to reach for the clothes that she brought in here to change into. "I'm kind of surprised, you know. You didn't even try to have sex with me in the shower," She laughed as she looked at him, pulling on her leggings with a grin. "We're getting old and sappy," She continued to tease before reaching to grab her shirt. "I'm tired of wearing a bra for the day, especially if we're just relaxing. I'm most likely going to fall asleep at some point, so fuck it." Rachel just wanted to spend some time with him, especially after the long day they both had. "But anyway, if we do get our own place, it's gonna feel so weird. In a good way, though. Because like... we can still do normal things here together, but we don't have like... free reign of the house. It'll be cool to be at my house for break so we can kind of be... normal. Like laying on the couch and watching a movie and shit. We already have the sleeping together part down, so everything else is just kind of going to be a bonus," She said with a soft smile. "You're not super sloppy and you're not a pig, so you're a pretty nice roommate. Honestly, girls are gross as hell so you're incredibly clean compared to most of them."

Finn smiled when Rachel said that he was easy to live with. It made him happy that she thought that because the last thing he wanted to do was add any more stress into her life. "Yeah, exactly. You being at school gives us space," he said softly as he changed into the clothes he had brought into the bathroom with him. When she told him that she was surprised he didn't try and have sex with her in the shower, he couldn't help but laugh. "We're not old and sappy. I'm just a gentleman," he said teasingly. "But, honestly, it's only because I actually felt gross and wanted to wash off in the shower. Any other normal shower you better believe I'm trying to have sex with you." Finn offered her a playful smile before he tugged his t-shirt over his head and he raised his eyebrows as she spoke. "Babe, there is no reason for you to wear a bra." When she said that they would have free reign of the house when they had their own place, he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I guess your parents house will kind of be a taste of what it would be like. Aside from the whole parents being around thing but, still. I can't wait for spring break. I'm nervous to meet your parents but I'm also really excited to just relax with you for a whole week." Finn smiled at Rachel as he gathered his dirty clothes from the floor before he started heading out of the bathroom with her and back towards her bedroom. "Before my parents got divorced my mom was always crazy about making me clean so I guess I just got used to it. Plus, my dad is pretty clean too so I guess it just runs in the family," he said as he walked into her bedroom, him tossing his clothes in the hamper before he moved to sit down on the bed. "It's cool that your parents are actually still together," he said softly. "I don't have a lot of friends that have that, you know? I think for a long time I kind of thought it was impossible or if people were together it was just forced. I'm trying not to think like that anymore, though. You know, I'm kind of hoping that the real thing is out there somewhere," he said as he looked into her eyes before he smiled softly at her.

Rachel rolled her eyes playfully as he spoke. "Oh, yeah. Such a gentleman." Rachel honestly was surprised that he hadn't tired anything, but then again, he had an incredibly full day and Rachel was sure that he was more mentally exhausted than anything. She was just so happy to have him back here, especially since it felt so normal to have him here with her. If she hadn't found him or heard from him today, Rachel was positive that she would have been an absolute mess for days or even weeks. As Finn started to talk about his parents, she followed him out of the bathroom with her clothes in her hand, as well. She smiled gently at him and she went to put her clothes in the hamper as well after him. "I mean, yeah, my parents have been together for a long time. High school sweethearts and shit. They were the typical like... football player and popular girl shit. But I get what you're saying. About it being forced. I mean, I kind of gave up on the idea of a relationship in college because it's just... impossible. Half of the guys are just looking for a quick fuck and I got really tired of it. I get not everyone wants to... settle down or whatever, and believe me, I don't necessarily want to think about that stuff right away either, but... I don't want to just fuck around with people. Most guys in college are dicks, so it's hard to deal with everyone a lot of the time." She shrugged before moving to grab her brush to get the knots out of her hair as she went to turn around to look at him. "I mean, I understand why people get divorced, but I just... it sucks. For everyone involved. Especially the kids. I just... never want to be in the position to have to get divorced. If I'm ever going to get married in the future, I'm going to make sure that it's for real. I don't want to chance anything like that happening. I feel like I'd ever want to get married ever again."

Finn nodded in agreement as Rachel spoke. "I mean, I get it. Honestly, all I was looking for was a quick fuck until I met you. It's not like I was a against a relationship or whatever but it's honestly just rare that I ever want to even pursue anyone," he said softly. He looked at Rachel as she started brushing her hair and he nodded as she spoke about divorce. "I mean, I'm sure there are some people who can actually handle getting divorced like adults but my parents weren't those people. I was only seven when they split and all they did was talk shit about the other person to me. My mom cheated on my dad so when I found that out I just told the judge I wanted to stay with him. I think she's had an issue with me ever since," he said softly. "If I ever get married it will have to be the real thing but I honestly doubt I ever will. I don't see the point, you know?" Finn sighed as he leaned back on the bed, him staring up at the ceiling. "If I ever have kids I'm definitely not talking shit about their mother, that's for sure. I guess for my parents I just became a way for them to hurt each other, you know? They only stopped once I was like fifteen." Finn shook his head before he shifted to lean back against the pillows, his eyes on Rachel. "I think last semester that was why I got so freaked out by you sometimes. Like, obviously I liked you and I knew you liked me but when it started to feel like more I started pushing you away." Finn sighed as he looked at Rachel, him running a hand through his damp hair. "I have a lot of fucking baggage, don't I?" he said with a laugh before he reached into the bedside table, him grabbing two tiny bags of heroin along with a needle and small piece of foil. Finn looked up at Rachel for a moment before he bit down on his lip, him immediately feeling guilty about getting high. He looked back at the heroin for a moment before he sighed and started dumping it out of the bags and onto the piece of foil. "I'll figure it the fuck out eventually," he breathed out as he grabbed his lighter to started melting it down.

Rachel shrugged gently as she looked over at him. "I mean, I get that. That sucks, Finn. I'm sorry. I just... never had to deal with that but I can understand how shitty it must have been. I mean, my parents fought and shit, but... they never got a divorce or anything. I had problems when I was in high school and they were fighting and I'd come home and they'd just be screaming at each other and I'd feel bad because a part of me felt like it was my fault, you know? But... all parents fight and stuff and I know it was stupid to think it was my fault but... I think every kid feels that." Rachel put her brush down after a moment and sighed before picking up a few things and moving towards the bed to put some lotion on her hands before she saw Finn grab some heroin. She sighed incredibly softly, looking down as she rubbed her hands together. She knew that she couldn't exactly stop him from doing anything and she couldn't do much of anything to force him to stop, but she felt horrible. She just really didn't know what to do. Rachel moved over to where he was on the bed before she leaned over to kiss him, deepening it for a moment before pulling away and pressing another soft kiss to his lips. "You will figure it out eventually," She whispered against him before pulling away and sitting on her usual side of the bed. "I know you feel like you won't, but you will. I promise," She said softly. Rachel knew that Finn knew that she hated this -- she hated that he always got high but she knew that he wasn't going to change anything. Not now. But Rachel really wished that he could do something to turn his life around. It was possible for Finn to have a life and for him to do something to make his future better but he needed to start now, he couldn't just wait for everything to happen on its own. Obviously, Finn had to try and change things, but he was in control of his own life, not hers. "And I promise that I'm going to be here for you, okay? No matter what. I don't care if it's with you like this or if it's with you sober. I'll help you with everything, I mean that." She breathed out, her moving to rest against the pillows that were against the headboard.

Finn filled the needle with heroin carefully, him only looking up when Rachel moved over to the bed. His eyes slipped closed as she kissed him and he knew that he needed her in his life so desperately. He didn't know how she cared about him when he was in the state he was in but he knew that he would always be grateful for her. God, how could he not be when she was practically saving his life every day? He smiled sadly when she repeated that he would figure things out eventually and he could only hope that it was true. All he wanted to do was figure himself out so that he could be the guy she needed him to be but a part of him was still so unsure. A part of him really didn't have much faith in himself. "I'm trying to see what you see, Rach," he said softly as he looked over at her. Finn closed his eyes for a moment as she spoke, him hating himself for putting her through this situation when she truly did deserve so much better. "I know you mean it. Sometimes I wish you didn't," he breathed out. Finn looked down at the needle in his hand before he looked over at Rachel and he knew that there had to come a time where he picked one. Even though she wasn't giving him some intense ultimatum, he knew he had to give himself one. No matter what she said, he knew she couldn't just wait around for him forever. She wasn't going to stop her life for his - there was no way in hell he'd let her if she tried. "I promise I'm gonna figure it out," he whispered before he turned his gaze back to the needle, him settling into bed beside her before he injected the drug into his arm. "I didn't do as much as I normally do," he told her as he set the needle on the bedside table quickly. "I'll be um... more coherent," he explained as he let his head sink into the pillows. "Before bed and while you're at school, you know? That's all I... that's all I need," he mumbled before his eyes fluttered closed as he allowed himself to focus solely on the euphoria that he experienced as the heroin rushed through his system.

Rachel knew that it wasn't exactly possible to distract him forever, especially because she knew that it was all on his mind. He was constantly thinking about heroin and while she wished he didn't, it wasn't like she could change his thought process at all. It was Finn's life, and that was his problem to deal with even if she could continue to tell him about things to do. As she watched him for a moment, she couldn't help but sigh. It really was painful to continue to watch him just ruin his life, but she didn't know what to do at this point. Rachel was trying to support him and be there for him, but it was becoming harder and harder. "I know you will." It had to be soon, she knew that. Not even for her, but just for his life. Rachel went to rest against the bed with him, ignoring her notebook and folder on the side table, knowing that she probably should be doing work, but after the day that they both had, she knew that it was something that could get put off. Rachel wasn't interested on focusing on anything other than him, really. Rachel turned to look towards him with a sad gaze. It was hard to watch, especially when this wasn't part of her life at all until now, but she had at least grown partly used to it. Holding onto her pillow as she looked at him, she wished that he knew that he was so much more than he was. He had so much potential and even if he couldn't see it like he always said, she knew it was there and she hoped that he could eventually see it, too. After things got better. "I'm so happy that you're safe and home again," She whispered softly, her stopping herself from reaching out to touch him. Honestly, sometimes he terrified her even if he assured her everything was fine and she just didn't know what to do sometimes. "If I didn't find you, I- I don't know what I would have done."

[hudson-finn]

So it Goes

Tagging: Finn & Rachel Location: Sorority House Notes: When Finn comes home to hear Rachel arguing with Ethan, everything that they had been trying to hide gets aired out to the rest of the girls.

Finn knew that his addiction had damaged all of his relationships. It had hurt his relationship with his parents who he knew had lost their trust in him, it had obviously put pressure on his relationship with Rachel and it had certainly damaged his friendships. Some friends had completely abandoned him and thought he was too much while others just didn't seem to trust him anymore. And he understood, he did, but at the same time it killed him to see how many people really just never seemed to give a fuck about him. As he sat with Jamie and their old apartment, he knew he was grateful for his best friend for sticking around and checking up on him. However, he also knew that their friendship had never really been the same since Finn lied to get Jamie to cover his rent when his parents had also been tricked into giving him "rent money" as well that he had really just spent on drugs. But he deserved Jamie not trusting him, he just hoped eventually he could repair the damage he had caused. "You know you can't stay with Rachel forever if you're not going to start getting clean soon, right?" Jamie told him, causing him to sigh. "I know, man. Believe me, I know. I get that no one understands like... me and Rachel's relationship or whatever in general but I promise that she is like... my top priority. I'm going to get clean I'm just - I'm not ready yet," he said softly. "Well you have to be ready soon, Finn. She's not going to let you sit in her room and use for much longer. It's just - it's scaring all of us, man. You look... you don't look like you. You have those - those marks on your arm and you lost weight and -" Finn quickly cut his friend off. "I know what I look like, Jamie. I'm not - I'm going to be fine. I get that you're all worried about me. I mean, believe me, I get it enough living with Rachel and Chloe who are both constantly checking on me. I just - I've got it under control." Jamie looked at him doubtfully and Finn couldn't help but sigh. He didn't want to always talk about his addiction. He just wanted to hang out with his friend like he used to. "Have you thought about reha-" "No. I - I don't want to talk about this right now, man. I just - I'm gonna go home." Finn quickly left Jamie's apartment before he started walking back towards the sorority house. As he entered the house and moved up the stairs towards Rachel's room, he slowed up when he heard Rachel and some guys voice (Ethan?) arguing in her room. He paused outside of the door for a moment before he knocked. "Um - Rach?" he said softly, knowing that if this guy was going to keep talking to her like this that he wanted to be there to make sure he stopped.

Rachel looked up when she saw Ethan arrive, the both of them having planned to meet at her room in the sorority house to hang out. Well, it really was a meeting, but she knew that it wouldn't exactly be a meeting. Things were always incredibly confusing between them and they always got extremely comfortable around each other and well, they usually ended up hooking up, but they weren't exactly official. It was nice to hang out with him, but she didn't really see much value in the idea of a relationship with him. They just didn't have the emotional connection that her and Finn did and well, honestly? Everything was a lot better with Finn but she knew that he wasn't exactly good for her. He had terrible habits, but that didn't mean that she didn't care about him. He just needed time to straighten things up. Ethan offered her a small smile and went to drop his bags on the floor, running a hand through her hair. "What's up? How have you been? I feel like I haven't been over here in forever," He said, looking at her sitting on the edge of her bed. "Good. Really crazy. I've been so busy and it's just been really insane. I'm trying to keep a hold on everything and-" She was quickly cut off by Ethan speaking, her shutting her mouth quickly at his words. "Who's shit is that?" He asked, her looking down at the pile of clothes on the ground, some hers and some Finn's. "Uh... Finn's." She said, clearing her throat before moving to stand up. "It's just laundry. Don't worry about it." "He's been staying here? You told me the shit that happened with him a long time ago. And you're letting him stay here?" He asked, him seeing her sigh. "Yeah, Ethan. Don't get all fucking worked up. Yeah, he's staying with me. He has clothes here. We've been sleeping next to each other every night. I don't know why you care, anyway." She said, her voice getting progressively louder. "You don't? That's funny. We've been hanging out like... every single second over break. What the fuck was all of that?" She scoffed, her running a hand through her hair. "You never once actually asked me out, so it's not my fucking problem." "You're fucking him then?" Rachel looked away for a moment, crossing her arms over her chest. "Did you not hear me before? We sleep next to each other every night. Stop being an asshole about this all." "I'm being the asshole about it?" He asked, opening a couple of her drawers slightly and seeing his shit. "When are you going to realize that he's a fucking deadbeat? He's shit for you, Rachel. What do you even get out of whatever you have with Finn?" She groaned, running a hand through her hair and gripping onto a few strands. "You just don't fucking get it." They continued fighting for a moment before she heard the door knock, her hearing Finn's voice. She went to open the door and let him in and she smiled softly. "Hey. Sorry, we were just... finishing up. He came over to talk about sorority shit and he probably should fucking go now," She said as she looked back at Ethan, him shaking his head gently. "And once again, we didn't get any shit done."

Finn had only heard the tail end of Rachel and Ethan's argument but it was enough for him to know exactly what they were talking about. Him and Rachel; and quite frankly, Finn didn't think that Ethan had much to really get mad at when it came to the situation. It wasn't like he was dating Rachel and they had barely even seen one another since the semester had started. Sure, he knew that had largely to do with him showing up but he really didn't care. If Rachel wanted to date Ethan, everything would be completely different. Finn knew for a fact that she certainly wouldn't be letting him stay with her or fucking him on a regular basis. What they had was confusing, sure, but it was definitely more real than whatever Ethan thought he had with her. When Rachel opened the door and smiled at him, Finn returned her smile with a small one of his own. "I mean, by the tone he was using with you, it definitely sounds like he should go now," he said with a laugh as he stepped into the room slightly, him looking over at Ethan. Finn had always hated most of the frat guys that he came across. The only one he even remotely got along with was his drug dealer and other than that he typically kept his distance. They were all rich, entitled douchebags and Finn knew Ethan was the poster boy for them. "Look, man. I know you have to be around Rachel for your frat shit or whatever but if I ever hear you talk to her like that again, it's not gonna end well. Last time I checked, she's not your girlfriend. In fact, last time I checked, I was the one in her bed," he said with a laugh as he looked over at him. "Call me a deadbeat all you want, I really don't give a fuck what you think about me but don't start talking shit to Rachel and making it her problem." Finn was trying his best not to get angry, he was keeping his voice steady and calm but he knew that if Ethan didn't just get the fuck out that things were going to escalate. He could see it on the other guys face and he was definitely ready to fight if that was what it came to. "What was it that Rachel said before? Oh yeah, you should probably fucking go now," he said as he gestured towards the door.

Rachel was incredibly happy that Finn was here, but she also didn't want things to escalate. She knew Finn and she knew that if things pissed him off, he would get angry and well, she didn't want Ethan to get involved in that. She also really didn't want Finn to get in any more trouble than he already was in. Rachel stayed a somewhat equal distance between the two of them, her tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and sighing gently. She really didn't want things to get too intense -- she just wanted Ethan to leave before Finn did something stupid or Ethan did something stupid. "Finn, please, don't worry about it." She said softly as she moved closer to him, her facing towards him and away from Ethan as she put a hand on his chest gently to try and calm him down. She knew that he was angry even if he was acting somewhat calm. When she heard Ethan laugh, she shut her eyes for a moment, trying to figure out ways to calm the situation. "You're fucking kidding right? I don't know why you think you have to speak for Rachel or whatever, but we were just having a fucking conversation, asshole." Rachel rubbed her hand over Finn's chest gently and she looked up at him. "Please don't do anything to him. Please," She breathed out softly, looking up at the frustration that she could clearly see radiating from him. "You thought that this was a good idea? Staying here in her room? How shitty does it feel knowing that you're absolute shit for her?" Rachel looked back at him quickly, glaring. "Ethan, stop. Please. Go home and call me when you're not acting like an asshole. Stop trying to fuck all of this up." She knew that Ethan was testing Finn, she knew that he was trying to get a rise out of him. And Rachel really wanted him to stop before things got really bad. "You don't even know me, man. So don't fucking keep pushing me, alright?" He said, moving a bit closer. "Finn, please," She said, her trying to keep him away from Ethan. "Just let him go and just don't... do anything. I don't want you getting in trouble."

Finn looked down at Rachel when she placed her hand on his chest and he knew that she was trying to keep things from escalating. While Finn didn't necessarily want things to escalate either, he also knew that if Ethan kept coming at him, he was going to snap. He raised his eyebrows when Ethan called him an asshole, him about to talk back before Rachel spoke, her hand running over his chest. "I don't want to but if he keeps fucking talking I will," he told her. They both knew that he could destroy Ethan if he wanted to and he knew she was just trying to protect him from doing something stupid. He had a record and he knew Ethan could put him in jail if he hit him. Although, if Ethan hit him first, there was no way in hell he'd be able to hold himself back. That much he knew for sure. "I'm shit for her? And what the fuck are you? You don't know Rachel or what she needs like I do, okay? You're fucking nothing to her compared to me," Finn said angrily, him starting to raise his voice. "No, I don't know you and I never fucking wanted to know you. And if anyone is pushing - it's you. I'll keep saying what the fuck I want to say." Finn glared at Ethan as he stepped closer, him looking down for a moment at Rachel when she said his name, telling him to let Ethan go. "What are you gonna do, man? Try and get me to hit you so that you can go call your Daddy and have him put me in jail? Because that isn't gonna fucking happen," he said angrily. "I've been in enough fights and I don't fucking lose them," he told Ethan, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the shorter guy. "Get the fuck out of here. And if you don't want to get out of here, then go ahead and hit me. I'd love to fucking see you try." Finn stepped closer to Ethan as he glared at him, knowing that he was ready for a fight if that was what it was going to come to. All Ethan had to do was throw the first punch and he knew that he'd completely snap and make the guy leave Rachel's room. He knew Rachel didn't want him to get in trouble, but he also knew that he wasn't just going to step down when some asshole was coming for his girl. "Hit me," he told Ethan as he stepped closer to him, his hands clenched into fists as he braced himself for a fight.

Rachel knew that Ethan was just trying to look out for her, but Rachel also knew that Ethan didn't have the right to say anything he was. He knew nothing about her and Finn at all and honestly? It was stupid that he was even trying to piss Finn off because it had to be obvious that Finn could easily fuck him up if he tried. As Finn continued to talk, Rachel sighed and looked down for a moment. She knew that he was pissed -- it was incredibly obvious that Finn was going to snap and Rachel really didn't want him to freak out on Ethan and get in trouble. Ethan could very easily get Finn in trouble and that was the last thing that she wanted. Finn already had a record, and Rachel really didn't want him to have assault charges added to that. "You wanna go?" Ethan said, him standing up a little straighter. "Ethan, stop." Rachel yelled, looking at him and pulling away from Finn to push Ethan towards the exit of her room. "Get the fuck out of here," She yelled at him, him standing his ground for a moment before he let Rachel just push him out of the room. "This is fucking ridiculous," He said, Rachel pushing him towards the stairs. "No, you're being fucking ridiculous. I don't know why you have to push his fucking buttons," She said, her watching as he began to walk down the steps towards the living room. "Oh, you're worried about me pushing his buttons, Rachel? I don't know, I don't think it's me you should be worried about," He said as he reached the bottom of the steps. "Maybe everyone else here should be worried that they're fucking living with an addict. I'm sure they all feel real safe, huh?" He snapped before glaring up at her, immediately going to walk out the front door, slamming the door behind him. She saw a few girls staring up at her, Rachel feeling her heart race in her chest. "Don't listen to him. I'm coming down there in a minute. Just... ugh. Fucking boys," She growled, her moving to walk back towards her room. "Can you calm down now that he's gone? Please? I don't want you to be pissed off the entire rest of the day now. I was handling him, we were just... having an argument. I was trying to stand up for you and you pissed him off even more."

Finn wanted to laugh when Ethan stood up a little straighter, acting as if he would actually fight him. There was no way in hell Ethan was going to throw the first punch. Finn knew the guy didn't have it in him because he knew it was a losing battle. When Rachel yelled at Ethan and pulled him towards the door to her room, Finn just watched as he let Rachel lead him out of the house. "Fucking pussy," Finn yelled out as they moved down the stairs before he ran his hand through his hair and started pacing. He was so amped up and he knew that he just wished he could have hit Ethan. He wanted to knock the guy out so badly for talking all the shit that he was talking about him. When he heard Ethan yell out that everyone should be worried they were living with an addict, he cursed before he turned back towards the door. Yeah, he was going to beat the shit out of him. Just when he approached the doorway, however, Rachel was there and when Rachel asked him to calm down, he sighed. "Fine. I'm calm," he told her, his voice clearly displaying that he was anything but. "I love that you were standing up for me but he shouldn't be fucking talking to you like that. Who the fuck does he even think he is, you know? He's acting like he's your fucking boyfriend. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Me and you hook up and if you went and hooked up with someone else I might not like it but I'm not gonna act like a fucking toddler and throw a fit about it," he said angrily. "And then he just went and told everyone that they shouldn't feel safe because they're living with an addict?" he said, him clenching his hands into tight fists. "I'm gonna knock him out, Rach. I swear. I'm gonna break his nose and put him right to sleep." Finn knew that he was heated and that he needed to calm down but a part of him was just so incredibly pissed off. Ethan was a total joke but it scared him to think of him not having Rachel in his life. He didn't want to lose her or lose the fact that he was lucky enough to have her in his life every day. "If I get kicked out of here because of him, I'll fucking find him at his frat house and kick his fucking teeth in," he told Rachel as he continued to make himself more and more angry.

Rachel really doubted Finn was calm. He was clearly incredibly frustrated, and well... she didn't blame him. Ethan had been a jerk, but she knew that he was just trying to look out for her. However, it didn't exactly give him the right to talk to her like that. "I know, I know. He's just pissed. I mean, he just... he thinks that something is going on between him and I and nothing is going on. At all. Like, we hung out all of break and everything but it was just... hanging out." She said, sighing gently as she looked at him. "And Finn, I get it. Look, I'll talk to the girls... I'll have a meeting so they don't fucking start telling everyone on earth about what Ethan said," She said, her bringing her hands to rest on his chest. "And you're not going to get kicked out. No one would ever dare tell anyone at the school about you because they wouldn't want to piss off me. They know that I could easily get them out of the sorority and honestly, that's scary to them." She said, her hands running along his chest gently before dragging them down to rest at his hips. "Relax. Please. I don't like seeing you angry," She whispered softly, her looking up into his eyes. "Finn, it's not a big deal. I promise." Rachel was positive that no one would say anything and she didn't want him to worry. "Look, he pissed me off too, but you're right. I can do whatever the fuck I want. And I want to be with just you and not him. He's having trouble getting that through his head, I guess." She said, still keeping close to Finn. "Let's just... try and relax, okay?" She murmured gently, offering him a soft smile before she leaned up to kiss him softly before pulling away and looking up at him. "Just... sit down and try and calm down and let me talk to the girls downstairs and I'll have a meeting later for everyone. I'll text everyone to be here so they know that you're fine, okay? Everyone knows that you're fine. You've been living here for a while and you're just... you haven't done anything to prove Ethan's words right, so just... don't worry about anything, alright? You're fine here, I promise."

Finn sighed when Rachel moved her hands to rest on his chest as she spoke, him looking down at her as he tried to just take a deep breath. He knew that he had to calm down. There was no point in getting angry over someone as useless as Ethan and he really didn't want the other guys words to effect him so much. "I am, I'm sorry," he breathed out when she told him to relax, him moving his hands to the curve of her waist as he stepped closer to her. It really amazed him how she managed to calm him down just from her proximity alone but he knew that was just the effect that she had on him from the very moment they met. "It just pisses me off that he's talking to you like he has any idea what's going on, you know? If it was one of our friends that's one thing but this guy doesn't even know me," he told her. "But okay, I'll try and relax," he said softly before they shared a gentle kiss. "Mm, that definitely helps," he murmured as she pulled away, him managing a small smile as she looked up at him. When she told him to sit down and try to calm down while she talked to the girls who were downstairs, he sighed before he nodded. "I - okay. I won't worry. But, do you want me to talk to them too? Because, I can. Maybe we can - we can tell them that I had a problem but I'm fine now, you know? Because like, I don't want to lie to them but I also really don't want them knowing what's really going on. That's just for you, me, Chloe and Jamie to know. Everyone else can fuck off and get out of my business." It wasn't that he was ashamed that he was using, but he was definitely not wanting people to look at him differently. He got along pretty well with most of the girls who lived in the house and he didn't want to make them uncomfortable or have them ask him questions he really didn't need to hear. He just wanted to feel normal in the only place he had managed to achieve some kind of normalcy ever since he had started using. "I'm sorry again that you have to deal with this shit," he told her before he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. "You're literally the most amazing person for putting up with me and all my shit," he told her between soft kisses before he pulled away from her, him smiling softly at her as he did so.

Rachel didn't want Finn to worry about anything. She just wanted him to be able to live his life comfortably in her room without every single person in the house worrying about what he was doing. When he asked her if he could also talk to them, she offered him a small smile. "Yeah, if you want to talk to them, you can. I mean, it would be nice to hear from you, I guess. Especially because a lot of them don't even know who you are or what you look like. At least they'll feel more... comfortable knowing that you're normal, you know? That you're just a regular guy. I don't want everyone suddenly having a problem with you. Especially because they have no reason to. I'd feel bad if everyone gave you that weird... look every single second that they saw you walk in the door or walk around," She said, sighing gently. As Finn leaned down to kiss her, she smiled gently against him before looking up at him when he pulled away. "I'm not putting up with you. I'm just enjoying you. There's a difference." Rachel really didn't feel like she was putting up with him -- she just felt like she was spending time with him. "Let's go downstairs so I can attempt to talk to the girls that listened to us all screaming at each other," She laughed gently, shaking her head. "I think Chloe was downstairs in the kitchen this entire time, so I'm kind of surprised that she didn't come upstairs and make sure that there wasn't an even bigger fight going on." Rachel looked at him before pulling away and moving to walk down the steps to see a couple of girls stop whispering the second that they saw her. "What?" Rachel said, her voice more harsh than she intended. "Don't listen to a word Ethan says, okay? Ethan's one of those guys in a jealous rage. He's just saying shit to get you all scared."

Finn knew that Rachel was really protective of him and while he loved her for that, he also didn't want her to have to deal with his shit when she was the one doing him a favor by letting him live with her. "You better be enjoying me," he said playfully as he looked down at her, a small smile on his face as he looked into her eyes. When she told him that they should go downstairs and talk to the girls who had overheard the whole fight, he sighed before he nodded. "I'm so glad they got to hear everything," he said sarcastically as he followed after her. "I hope Chloe was there. Then she had help us out in making sure no one freaks out." He followed Rachel down the stairs and when there were a few girls who immediately stopped talking the second they caught sight of them, Finn knew they were going to have to do some serious damage control. When Rachel quickly sounded annoyed, Finn ran his hand gently up and down her back. "Rach," he said softly. "I um, I also wanted to say that I'm sorry I haven't really introduced myself to any of you girls. I mean, I know Rachel and Chloe, obviously. They're my best friends. But, I just want you girls to know that Ethan doesn't know me. He's just jealous that me and Rach are close so he's trying to do whatever he can do get me kicked out of here. The truth is that yeah, I had a problem with um, with coke. But I don't anymore and I've been clean for a while. I'm not using or bringing around shady people - that's the whole reason I'm here. A new start," he said from where he stood beside Rachel. "So you have nothing to worry about and no reason to not feel safe, okay? This is your home first so just - I really don't want any of you to feel uncomfortable." Finn knew he was telling a massive lie - he knew that. But he also wanted to try his best to make them feel comfortable so that no one was paranoid about him being there. "There's gonna be a meeting later, obviously, right, Rach? And I'll tell all the other girls the same thing later so we're all on the same page."

Rachel wanted Finn to be comfortable here. She didn't want him to have to worry about screwing things up or the girls making him feel unwelcome. And honestly, she knew that no one would say anything to people at the school about him living here, and if someone did, she really wasn't looking forward to getting in trouble, especially because she was the president of the executive team. As Finn talked, she just nodded along gently to his words, her smiling gently up at him before looking back over at the girls who were staring at the two of them. "Yeah, exactly. Ethan doesn't know anything about what's going on and he's trying to piss off Finn and I and it's very clearly working. Just... don't listen to him, okay? He's not going to be showing his face around here for a while hopefully, and I'm going to talk to him so he doesn't come in here screaming anymore. And... yes. There's going to be a mandatory meeting later. Not just about this but about a lot of things. So please be there," Rachel said, the girls nodding and agreeing before turning back to each other to resume their conversation. Rachel saw Chloe pop her head from the kitchen and offer a slight smile. "I was gonna come up to try and break up the fight between you and Ethan when I heard it getting a little heated but then... you know, I kind of heard Finn join the fight and I decided it was best if I stay out of it. Is everything okay?" She asked, managing a soft laugh as she held onto her water bottle. "Uh, yeah. I mean... things are fine, I guess. I'm just pissed at him for acting like that. He's just jealous of Finn, I guess. I mean, he's acting like an asshole, so... I mean, he can get the fuck out if he wants to. He doesn't have a right to be pissed, you know?" Rachel said, Chloe shrugging. "I mean, he kind of does. Things were kind of confusing for you guys and you haven't labeled a relationship in like... literally almost a year, so he's probably confused as fuck." Rachel glared slightly at her friend and sighed. "We're not together. And literally... I'm sleeping with Finn every single night and we hang out every single day so I don't know why he thinks the two of us were a thing, anyway. I haven't seriously seen him in weeks, so he's overreacting. He saw Finn and I's clothes on the ground and he kind of flipped," She said, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know. Whatever. I just want to talk to the girls and make sure they're not like... scared of Finn. He's fine. He literally hasn't done anything to make anyone suspicious or anything and I know that now that Ethan said something, everyone is gonna over analyze every single thing he does."

Finn was glad that the girls seemed okay with what he had told them. While it was a lie, he also knew that no one really needed to know the truth. He wasn't going to get in anyone's way or bring anyone related to his addiction anywhere near the house. When Chloe walked over to them, Finn offered her a small smile. He knew that the whole situation was fucked up and he felt bad that everyone else had heard the drama but he hoped now Ethan would know where he stood. He wasn't boyfriend material for Rachel and it was so obvious that Finn truly didn't understand how the other guy hadn't realized it yet. When Chloe said that Ethan had a right to be angry, Finn did his best to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. He loved Chloe and she was one of his best friends but he honestly didn't understand how she thought Ethan was right about anything. "He really doesn't have a right to be mad, though. Like... I get that things haven't been labeled or whatever but that's his fault. All he had to do was tell Rachel he wanted things official and she would have told him yes or no. It's not her fault he's too scared to have a real conversation." Finn sighed as he stood beside Rachel, him resting his hand on the small of her back as he tugged her closer to him. At his movement, Chloe raised her eyebrow as she looked between them. "Speaking of confusing relationships that don't have labels," she said, her gesturing between them. "What about this?" Finn immediately felt himself flush slightly as he looked from Rachel to Chloe. "You know that me and Rach are nothing like what her and Ethan were like, right? You've known us since we've met," he said with a sigh. "The only reason there's not a label is because of me and you know that." Finn felt horrible that he couldn't be with Rachel officially because of his addiction but he just wasn't ready to stop yet and he didn't want to ruin what they had finally rebuilt with each other. "So when are you going to be ready then, Finn? Because you can't stay here doing what you're doing forever," Chloe said, her voice lowering so no one else overheard them. "We aren't going to enable you forever," Chloe added as she looked sternly at Rachel before looking back to him. Finn crossed his arms as he started feeling himself getting annoyed, not understanding why Chloe was putting herself in his business. "You aren't doing shit for me, Chloe. And Rachel isn't giving me money, she's giving me a place to stay," he told her, watching as she sighed and shook her head. "So where are you getting your money, Finn. Did you even ever ask him this, Rachel? Where are you getting it because I know you don't have a job and apparently Rachel isn't giving you anything." Finn stayed silent for a moment before he sighed, him looking away from them for a moment. "I just... I figured out a way to make some money on the side," he said quietly, him watching as Chloe raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. "So it's something illegal. Wonderful. Another reason why we don't need you staying here like this much longer. You need to get better or you need to go."

Rachel knew that what her and Finn had was confusing to basically everyone. Honestly, even she was confused a lot of the time, but she was trying to not let it bother her. She was just happy to have something with him than nothing at all. There were little things that he did that she loved -- just like what he was doing as he pulled her closer to him as they stood next to each other. "Look, I just-" She tried to butt in, but Chloe quickly started talking and Rachel couldn't help but sigh. She could feel the tension rising slightly as Chloe and Finn spoke. Rachel just let them talk for a few moments, knowing that if she interrupted, that things would probably just get worse. "Look, Chloe. WHat Finn and I are doing is literally none of your business. And has Finn even fucking bothered you at all the entire time he's lived here? Even talked to one of the girls? No. He hasn't even been in the kitchen at the same time as the other girls unless he's with me. And it's not my job to fucking ask him twenty questions every time I see him. He knows how I feel about the shit he's doing. He knows, Chloe. And guess what? It's not my life. I'm trying to help him from fucking living on the street. I don't want him doing anything he's doing," She said quietly but harshly as she looked at Chloe, feeling her frustration rise again. "But I've said what I had to say about it and he... it's his decision whether or not he wants to listen to my advice. He knows that he needs to not do what he's doing. But it's not my place to force him. And I-" "Do you hear how stupid you sound? You talk about being with him and shit and you literally are getting nothing out of this. So, what, you fuck or whatever every once in a while? All you do is take care of him. He literally gives you nothing in return. And I just don't understand how all of this shit makes sense to you." Rachel looked away from her for a moment and sighed. "Stop trying to get in our fucking business, okay?" She said, feeling her heart racing. "I just- I love you, Chloe. I do. But you need to mind your own business. I don't expect you to... to get it. But until you actually give a shit and do something for Finn, I don't want to hear you complaining about what I'm doing. I'm giving him a chance to not be living on a fucking bench like he was. Would you want that for me? Living wherever I could find? Let me help him. And stop making everything I'm doing sound so shitty. And guess what? He's not living in your room and he hasn't done shit to you. So you don't get to tell him to go."

Finn looked down as Rachel started arguing with Chloe. He hated that he was causing all of this. His presence was causing them to fight and a part of him wished that he had never come to stay with Rachel at all. He tried his best not to get in the way or bring too much attention to himself and yet Chloe was still giving Rachel shit for everything. He literally gives you nothing in return. Chloe's words hit him deeper than he wanted them to and he couldn't help but start wondering if maybe she was right. Did he really offer nothing to Rachel? He knew she wasn't happy about him using but he tried his best to keep it away from her. He only ever used while she was away at class or once she had fallen asleep at night. All he wanted to do was stay out of her way and not let it effect her and yet - it was. "I live here too, Rachel. And if the other girls actually knew the situation, I'm sure they wouldn't want him here either. Just because you're the president doesn't mean you get to dictate every little thing that goes on here," Chloe said. "Just - fucking stop," he said, raising his voice slightly as he looked at Chloe. "Stop fucking talking to her like she's doing anything wrong because she's not. All Rachel is doing is being a good person by trying to help me out. And I - I know I don't offer anything in return and she knows I feel horrible about that already. I know I'm a piece of shit, Chloe. I don't need you telling me that too. You don't - you don't fucking get it." Finn backed away from both of them as he looked between both girls and he could feel himself quickly getting overwhelmed. He knew he was an addict and he knew he was a loser but he really didn't need to hear the people closest to him telling him that when his own thoughts towards himself were much worse every day. "I'm gonna go for a walk," he said softly. "Tell everyone the truth. Tell them whatever you want. I don't give a fuck anymore. None of this is gonna matter anyway." Finn just shook his head before he headed towards the door, knowing that he just wanted this situation to go away. He didn't want to deal with it anymore and he knew that he needed to get away before he lost his mind.

Rachel really didn't want this situation to get out of hand like this. She just wanted Chloe to support her and to understand where she was coming from. Obviously, things were crazy, but she was dealing with it. "Fuck you, Chloe. I didn't say that I fucking made the rules here. But Finn hasn't done a fucking thing to make anyone uncomfortable so you need to just let it go, alright? Let me fucking help him." She was trying her hardest to work things out for Finn because she wanted him to be happy here. She wanted him to love being here and love being with her. When Finn pulled away from her, she looked at him and she tried to find something to say. Rachel understood why he was so upset, honestly. She really did. But she just wished that she knew what to say to make things better. "Finn, I-" She said as he started to walk away, her unsure of what to say. Rachel turned to Chloe and glared, Chloe just looking away with no expression. "If you fucking tell anyone about anything, I swear to god, you'll wish you never opened your mouth. I don't know why you can't just let me work this out, Chloe. He's like... the one fucking thing that I care about and you're pushing him away from me. He's literally the one person that gives a fuck about me. I don't care that he's making mistakes. I literally have one thing that's going somewhere for me and you're fucking it up," Rachel said before turning away from her friend and moving to rush towards Finn before could completely leave, her grabbing his wrist gently as she rushed up behind him. "Finn, please. Please don't run away from this," She breathed out, her holding onto his arm gently and looking up at him. "Let me go with you. Let's just go away for a little bit, okay? You and me," She whispered, trying anything to get him away from getting out his aggression some other way. "Babe, don't go and do something stupid. Please. Talk to me. I- I wish I knew what to say, but I don't. Just... don't walk away from me."

Finn was getting tired of everyone constantly telling him what a fuck up he was. He knew that. He knew he was making mistakes and that not everything he did was a good idea but that was where he was in his life right now. It wasn't that he didn't want to get better, he just wasn't ready to yet and the only person who seemed to give him the space to just breathe and figure things out was Rachel. As he opened the door to step out of the house, Rachel caught his wrist and he sighed softly as he turned to face her. He wanted to tell her to let go of him and let him go but as she spoke, he knew he couldn't push her away even if he wanted to. "I - I will talk to you... just - not here, okay?" Finn dipped his head down to press a kiss to the top of her head before he led her out of the large house, him sighing as they reached the sidewalk before he started walking. "I just want to go for a walk and get away for a little bit," he told her. "To be honest, I was gonna go buy um... buy more dope but I won't do that now." Finn offered her a small smile before he looked down at the sidewalk as he moved beside her. "I'm sorry that I'm making all of this so difficult for you. A-And I know what you're going to say - that it's not my fault and I haven't done anything but me being there has done something." Finn sighed as he kept his gaze downwards before he looked over at Rachel. "I think it just kind of killed me when she said that I give you nothing in return. Because I - she's right, Rach. I don't give you anything. I don't offer anything to this relationship." Finn wished that he brought more to the table. He wished he had a good job or some promising degree that he was working towards but the reality of the situation was that he had nothing. He had nothing and the only way he made money was by stealing shit and selling it. "And I - I want to be your boyfriend, you know that. But I know that we can't until I...until I'm sober. I just don't want you to think that I'm fucking around because I'm not, Rach. I'm not trying to lead you on or take advantage of you. I really do care about you a-and I want this. I want it so badly. It's just - it's so hard."

Rachel sighed gently as he pressed a kiss to her head and she went to follow him as he started to walk. She knew that they couldn't really talk at the house in front of everyone and she just wanted things to work out and to make sense. She wanted him to know that he wasn't a burden. That she wanted him here. Rachel knew that he was going to be out here buying drugs and she knew it was why she wanted to talk to him, especially because if she was here, she knew that he wouldn't go out and do anything. "You're not making it difficult for me." She hated that things were always so impossible between them, but it really wasn't all his fault. It was the entire situation. It wasn't just his drug use -- there was so much that was preventing them from being anything together. "I know you're not trying to lead me on, Finn. And listen, I just- you give me so much, you know? I don't really have anyone that gives a fuck about me and it means so much to me to have you here. I wouldn't be doing all of this for you if you didn't do something for me. I love that you're here with me all of the time. And I love that you're always with me and that you keep me company. I know that the drugs are just- they're literally taking over your life and I know it's stupid, but I don't know. I just- I feel like sometimes you're choosing the drugs over me. Not that I'm the most important thing in the world, but I just- you always say that you want me. That you want this. And every chance you have to make a different decision, you don't. I get it. I've heard the 'it's so hard' excuse five million times. But I'm not letting you die like this." She said, her sighing gently and looking down for a moment. "I want you to get clean for you. Because you're wasting away in front of me and it's scaring the fuck out of me. I just- I want to be with you and everything and see what an actual normal life is with you and shit but I care more about you being healthy. I don't want you to keep listening to Chloe and to Ethan and to people who don't really give a fuck. I just- I need you to concentrate on being better. There has to be a point where you turn things around whether you're ready or not. You're never going to be ready, Finn. I don't know when you're going to finally see that, but I hope it's soon."

Finn wished that this whole situation could be easier. He wished he had never tried heroin in the first place because he knew he'd be in a much different place in his life right now. As she spoke, he looked down sadly. He felt horrible that she had to deal with him and a part of him did wish that she would just listen to everyone else and let him go. He just wanted her to be happy and while she told him that he did that for her, it was obvious to him that he didn't. How was she happy with him in her life when his presence caused all of this insanity. "First of all, the drugs aren't more important than you. Do you - do you remember that night when you told me you needed me and I went and picked you up and took care of you? I did it. And I know you don't understand how hard that was for me but it wasn't easy for me to just put the needle down and go get you. Second of all, me saying that it's hard isn't an excuse, it's the truth," he told her. Finn sighed for a moment before he stopped walking, him turning to face Rachel as his gaze met hers. "I know you want me to focus on getting better, to ignore what everyone says and to just... be ready to get clean but I don't think you get that this is more than the drugs, Rach," he said softly. "I feel like I'm cut in half. There's one side of me that wants to be clean and happy and be with you but there's the other side too. And that side still is focused on hating myself." Finn looked away from her for a moment as he shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to talk about emotional stuff or get emotional but he felt like he was doing that with Rachel more than he had ever done in his entire life. "That side is darker than you know, Rach. And it was that way before the heroin," he said softly. "I feel like I have this voice in my head that is constantly telling me that everyone would be better off without me. And honestly? It's probably true for most people that I know. Heroin... it numbs that voice. And I know you don't get it because you just see it as me sticking a needle in my arm but it helps me. It helps me shut off my brain. And I know it could kill me but I don't care. I don't care if it does. At least... at least that part of me doesn't. So when I tell you that it's hard for me to stop, I'm not just talking about the drugs, Rach. I'm talking about a lot more shit that is going on in my head that's a part of it all."

Rachel knew that she didn't exactly understand everything that was going through Finn's head. It was obvious that he was dealing with a lot of demons that she didn't understood and wasn't sure that she ever wanted to understand. It was easy to understand wanting to escape from something or wanting to numb something, but she wished that he did it in a healthier way than heroin. However, she was also in no place to judge, but she just wished that he could stop and just try and see life from a different angle. It was hard to push him to get clean, especially because it really wasn't her job to. It was his job to figure things out and want to get clean just because he needed to do it for him and not for her. As he spoke, Rachel sighed softly and looked down as she continued to walk next to him. "I know you care about me, Finn. I know you've done so much to help me and I- I'm never going to forget that night that you came to help me. And I- I love that you want something with me and that you... you can see having something with me because I want that too. And I mean- Finn, we basically are something now even if we actually... aren't. I don't know. But I just- I'm sorry. I wish I understood more and I wish I could help you. But there's really nothing that I can do. I can be here for you and I can talk to you and offer you a place to stay and food and stuff but I just- I can't." Rachel looked at him for a moment before looking down again, watching her feet as she walked next to him. "I've told you so many times that... that I want you here with me and that I- I want you here. I care so much about you, Finn. And if something ever happened to you because of this shit, I swear, I just- I'd be devastated, Finn. I don't give a fuck about what everyone else says about you or about me for helping you through all of this shit, but I- I'm trying to be here for you however you need me. And if that's just... sitting next to you when you're high or when you need someone, then I just... I want to be that for you." Pausing, she looked back over to him and just looked at his face for a few moments. "I've said it five million times and I'll say it again, I just... want you to get clean for you. Not for your family. Not for your friends. Not for me. For you. I know that it helps numb whatever shit you're going through, but... people can help you get through those demons that you have. I can help you. And I know you've been talking to me but you've never really sat down and opened up to me, and maybe that's what you need after a little bit, you know? Someone just to talk to."

Finn knew that he was a lot to deal with. He was a mess mentally but as much as he wanted to be the guy Rachel and everyone else wanted him to be, it wasn't just going to happen overnight. He wasn't going to wake up in the morning and just feel better about himself or wake up not wanting heroin in his system. "You are that for me, Rach. You - you already are that person for me," he told her as he looked into her eyes. When she told him that she wanted to get clean for him, he nodded before he looked down sadly. "I know. And I don't know, Rach. I thought I was open with you. I've been trying to be one hundred percent honest with you, you know? I've been telling you how I feel and when I want to get high or why I want to get high. I just - I don't know what else I can say. I'm not gonna have some breakthrough like they do in movies. I'm just... this is how I am right now." Finn ran his hand through his hair and sighed, him looking around before he brought his focus back to Rachel. "Can we not talk about this right now?" he asked her softly. "Not because I'm trying to avoid the conversation but just because I feel like we... I feel like this is all we talk about anymore. Me and how fucked up I am. I want to talk about shit we used to talk about, you know? I want to go out and do shit with you and just spend time with you because being stuck in your room all day isn't the same. I'm bringing you down with you always been cooped up with me whether you admit that or not, I know I am. So let's just... for one night can we please don't think about or talk about any of that shit and be Finn and Rachel again?" Finn knew not thinking about everything would be impossible but he just wanted to pretend for one day that things weren't so fucked up. He just wanted to feel normal and he wanted Rachel to feel normal too. "For one day I don't want everything to be so serious and intense. I just want us to be happy together and forget everything and everyone else that's fucking everything up all the time."

Rachel looked at him as he asked not to talk about this anymore, her just sighing and nodding gently. "Yeah, we don't need to talk about it right now," She said, smiling sadly. She didn't want him to feel uncomfortable about anything and honestly, she knew that he was right -- this really was all they talked about anymore. All they talked about was him being high or him having problems with this and she just didn't know what to do, really. It kind of felt impossible to think about anything else when Finn was on her mind all of the time with all of the problems that he had. "I know. Okay? Look, you're not ruining my life or depressing me because we're cooked up in the room all of the time. I mean, I like staying in with you and I- I like just doing nothing with you. I don't... I don't want to go out anymore and I don't want to go party because it's just... not appealing to me anymore. After all of this I just... I don't want to do it anymore." Rachel looked at him after a moment and sighed softly. "I want to just be happy with you, too. I want that more than anything. Let's just... let's just go out for dinner or something and we can do something stupid afterwards. Just something random. I don't care if we fucking walk around campus or a park, you know? I... I haven't really gone out and went crazy since that night I asked you to pick me up, so I mean... we can go do something. I wanna be normal too. I do. I know that it's not exactly going to be completely normal but I want to just still be able to go out with you. You obviously still function and you still are you. We can do normal things. But we just... haven't been."

Finn looked at Rachel sadly as she spoke. He knew why she didn't like to party anymore and even if she would deny it, he knew it was because of him. She thought that his problems had all originated from partying and while some of them did, all of his bad habits had developed long before he had ever met her. "Partying doesn't appeal to me anymore either. I'm done with it. I just... I see how fake it all is now and even though it was fun for a long time it's just... it's not anymore." When she told him that they could go out for dinner and do something stupid afterwards, he smiled softly at her. "Then why don't we do that? Let's get dinner together and then we can go for a walk or something. I just want to be with you and focus on something else, you know? We don't need to be crazy anymore, we're over that." Finn took Rachel's hand gently in his and laced their fingers together as he started walking with her once more, his thumb running along the back of her palm. "I get to have dinner with my girl tonight," he said softly. "That makes me happy." Finn knew that something as simple as dinner was nothing to most people but to him it meant a lot. To him, it was the normalcy that he so badly craved to have in his life again. He stayed silent for a few moments as they walked together before he tugged her a bit closer to him, his hand moving from hers to wrap around her waist before he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I wanna hear more about what's going on with you, you know. Like... how are your classes? And how is shit with the sorority?" he asked her. "I feel like we've been talking a lot about me and I get why, I do, but I want to hear about you. You're the girl that I have feelings for, I obviously want to hear about your life too, you know." Finn knew that him and Rachel were complicated. They weren't together even though they practically were and while he wanted to make things official, he respected that Rachel wanted him sober before that happened. "Also, what do you want for dinner? Because we're almost in town so we might as we head there now," he said as a small smile tugged up at the corner of his lips.

Rachel smiled softly to herself as he grabbed her hand and went to intertwine their fingers. Honestly, she was pretty sure that this was all she needed. All of her friends called her crazy for ignoring literally every other guy that even looked her way, but none of them made her feel a fraction of what Finn did. Even if he didn't always make her feel happy one hundred percent of the time, sometimes he made her so incredibly upset about so much, but he truly did just make her... feel. She felt like she was real with him and she wasn't putting on a fake smile. She was just honest with him and she hadn't had that in forever. As he pulled her closer to him, she smiled, continuing to walk with him. "I mean, classes suck as usual. I've been doing homework and stuff sometimes when you're asleep in my bed and I get home from classes and stuff. But I've been finishing things up usually the second I get them assigned so I can spend time with you, you know? I don't know. Classes suck, but they're not horrible this semester. I have a few papers coming up that I need to get started on, but... I can do that whenever I'm home. The sorority is good. Obviously you can tell there's a lot of tension. Chloe and I are kind of clashing, and it's not just because of me being with you. It's more than that. I think we're just... butting heads on a lot of stuff. She can be a bitch sometimes, but she's still my best friend. We work together on a lot of stuff, so I think we're just tired of each other, honestly." She paused for a moment, happy to just be having some normal conversation with him. Honestly, conversations like this were few and far between so she was happy for something normal and not so depressing. "We can just get something easy. Like Chipotle or... pizza or some kind of Italian food or something. Just something easy. And we can be really lame and sit on the same side of the booth if you want everyone to judge us even more," She said with a grin as she looked up at Finn as she walked with him. Rachel kept her arm around his waist and held onto his shirt tightly as they walked together, attempting to keep close to him. "Are you up for anything in particular? I don't want anything fancy. Just something easy where we can just... chill out and be together."

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "I can tell there's a lot of tension between you and Chloe. Honestly, it's probably more because you two live together, work on sorority stuff together and also just hang out a lot. You two just need a little space but I know you two are best friends and I definitely don't want that or, you know, us to get in the way of that." Finn knew his presence was also putting a strain on things but he truthfully didn't want it to and he knew that he was going to have to sit down with Chloe when they got back. He needed to have a proper conversation with her and he hoped it would help get her off Rachel's back a little bit. "Wow, you wanna be that couple?" he asked her before a laugh escaped his lips. It felt so good to laugh with her again and while he knew his drug use was still an issue that he needed to solve, he was done letting it constantly be a point of conversation with him and Rachel. "Why don't we get some tacos or something? Not Chipotle though, babe. I have a spot here that's even better," he told her as he walked with her. It was strange, almost, to feel so normal with her. To everyone around them, for once, they looked like an average couple walking around town and he couldn't help but feel good about that. "I like this," he said softly. "I just... this actually makes me feel like... like I actually have some kind of chance to be normal." Finn smiled at Rachel before he led her into the restaurant, him getting in line with her and staring up at the menu as he tried to decide what he wanted. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and looked inside nervously before he looked back to Rachel. "I um, I can cover us," he told her. Finn didn't have much money at all and the money that he did manage to get together always ended up going to drugs. However, he wanted to take care of Rachel, he wanted her to feel like they were normal and he just wanted to be able to treat her to something nice. As they waited in line, he stood close to her, him dipping his head down to press a kiss to her forehead before it was their turn to order.

Rachel looked at Finn and smiled. Honestly, she was obsessed with the sound of him laughing and genuinely having a good time and she was happy that they were able to be like this together. She was happy that she was the one to make him happy and to make him laugh. Rachel didn't see this side of him all that often and she loved when she did. "Mhm. I wanna be that couple. Sappy ass sharing food and everything," She grinned as she looked at him before nodding at his words. "We can do whatever. I'm not picky and a lot of shit is better than Chipotle, I just used to go there a lot because I didn't feel like hunting for something good. And I had a gift card, so you know, it was a win." She said as she walked with him, keeping close by his side. It felt so good to be normal and to actually be going on some kind of date and not just fucking around in her room at the sorority house. "I like this too. We can do this whenever you want, Finn. Even if we just... I don't know. Go walk around campus. You can always come with me to the library and shit when I'm doing work or something too if you want to get out of the house." When they arrived and he offered to cover, she looked at him. "Babe, you don't have to. I can get it," She told him, her already holding onto her phone to grab the card from the holder on the back of it. When he didn't put his wallet away, she sighed and put her phone back in her pocket before she turned more towards him, moving to rest against him as she looked up at him. "I'll make it up to you later," She said with a soft laugh, keeping her arms wrapped around him before the line continued to move and it was their turn to order. When it was, she ordered what she wanted before she turned to Finn to wait for him to order. After they did, she moved off to the side with him and looked over the seating options. "Where do you want to sit?" She asked him, keeping close to his side. She really didn't care where, and at this point, she'd be happy to just grab her food and walk around with Finn as they ate. "Do you wanna just sit over there?" She asked, pointing to a table against the wall. "That way we have a little bit of privacy, at least. People won't be up our ass trying to hear what we're talking about."

Finn shook his head when Rachel offered to pay. "No, I got it. You take care of me enough. Let me tak care of you." When she leaned against him, he looked down at her and felt his heart swell with happiness and when she said that she'd make it up to him later, he couldn't help but smirk. "I mean, you don't have to make it up to me but I'm not gonna say no, either," he said softly. Once they ordered their food, they started looking for a spot to eat and he shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me." When she pointed to a table against the wall, he nodded and smiled at her. He quickly grabbed their food before he moved over to the table with her, him setting their food down as he took a seat. "It smells so good," he said as he looked over at her before he started unwrapping the burrito he had gotten. Before he started eating, Finn kept his focus on Rachel and he couldn't help but smile as he caught her eye. "Is this like... our first date?" he asked her. It was strange for him because before he had met Rachel, he hadn't wanted a relationship at all. He was more than happy to be on his own and just hook up whenever he felt like it. However, now that he was with Rachel he just wanted to be with her and only her and he knew that he wanted this to be a date. He wanted to have countless dates with her. "This is weird for me, you know," he said softly. "Having feelings for someone. I haven't had them in so long I almost forgot what it felt like but I definitely have them for you, Rach. I care about you more than anyone I've ever met." Finn smiled softly as he looked into her eyes before he leaned over to press a kiss to her lips. "I know that we're not official or whatever and I understand you holding off on that but I um..." Finn paused for a moment as he looked down at the table before he looked back up into her eyes. "I don't want you to be with anyone else. Like Ethan or whoever. I just... I want you to be my girl and I'm all yours too, you know? Like... I'd never talk to another girl now that I'm in this with you."

Rachel felt a small smile rise on her lips as Finn spoke. "Yeah. I mean, I guess it's kind of a first date. It feels kind of lame saying that considering all of the shit we've done together, but if you want an official day, we can label it that." It felt kind of nice to be labeling something, especially because she knew that it was practically impossible to label anything that they were going through. She knew that they were basically together, but Rachel hadn't ever really wanted to label anything until he was clean or at least trying to get clean. She wasn't doing it to just have an easy way out if things went south, she just wanted them to be able to start fresh and to really start something together. However, it was stupid when all of the feelings and everything was building now. As he continued to talk, she leaned over to meet him for a kiss and she smiled gently as she pulled away. "I know that. You know that I'm all yours, too. I haven't fucked around with anyone since break and the only reason I really did was because we literally had the worst fight in the world and you dropped off the face of the earth for a while and I told myself I was never going to talk to you again. But clearly that didn't happen," She laughed softly, her shrugging gently before continuing to eat. "And I get that it's kind of stupid for us to like... not be official when we basically are. We should just label it for what it is. But I just- I don't know. I wanted us to be something but I wanted us to really be something when you were better, I guess. It's kind of stupid because you're still you, but... yeah." She shrugged gently as she continued to eat before turning her head to look at him. "I want us to just be with each other. No one else. I don't feel the same when I do any of this shit with anyone else. I love just being able to be with you and have it be so easy." Rachel moved her hand to his cheek for a moment, her thumb and her pointer finger running against his jaw. "And I want you to be my man, so you're kind of stuck with me," She whispered softly as she looked at him, a small smirk rising at the corner of her lips.

Finn smiled as Rachel spoke. It felt good to hear her tell him that she was all his and he knew that his feelings for her were honestly growing every single day. He loved her as his best friend, sure, but he knew he was really falling for her hard. In fact, he was pretty sure that he already had. "I know you haven't. And I haven't been with anyone else since the middle of last semester, honestly." Finn took a bite out of his burrito and when Rachel started saying that it was stupid for them not to be official, he felt another wave of happiness washing over him. It amazed him that even when in his head it was so dark that she managed to make him feel so good. She managed to make him smile and laugh and feel like Finn again and he truly didn't understand how she did it. "No, I mean, I get it. It's not stupid that we're not official yet because I understand where you're coming from. I don't - I don't think we should be official until I'm working on getting clean, okay? I don't deserve to say I'm your boyfriend until I'm clean and believe me, that's just more of a reason why I need to... to work on that sooner rather than later." When she brought her hand to his cheek, he couldn't help but smile as he looked into her eyes. "I don't feel the same way with anyone else either. And believe me, I'll be stuck with you any day," he told her as he brought his hand up to rest over hers. "You're my person, Rach. You're like... the only one I've ever looked at and thought like... yeah, this can work. Like, when I'm with you I can see a future. And believe me, I barely seen a future when I'm alone so the fact that I can see something with you is like... wow." Finn shook his head as he looked at her, a small smile on his face before he continued to eat his food. "You're the most beautiful person inside and out and I honestly don't know how I got this lucky to have you. I mean, even my dad liked you and he's never liked one of my girlfriends," he said with a laugh. "I know you only met him that one time at my house but he loved you and I know my mom would love you too." Finn felt himself feeling a bit giddy about their relationship and he knew for the first time in a long time he was actually just excited about what was to come.

Rachel was happy that Finn wanted to get clean and that he wanted to be clean for her to really be with her the way he wanted. Obviously, he had to get clean for a lot of other reasons but if he really did get clean, she knew how amazing everything could be for them. She only had a year until she was finished with school and Rachel wanted to see what things would be like in the future for the two of them. Hopefully, he'd be clean and working or at least trying to get back on his feet and she wanted to be there to help him. As Finn's hand went to rest over hers, she smiled gently and looked into his eyes. "Yeah. Me too. And I just- I'm glad that you see something with me. I just... I know you don't have a lot of people right now, but I promise you, Finn, I'm gonna be there for you, okay? No matter what. I promise you." As she continued to eat, she managed a soft laugh at his words. "I mean, he was nice. He really loves you, obviously. He's your dad. He was nice to talk to. And I'm sure I'd love your mom, too." Rachel took another few bites of her food before grabbing a napkin and wiping her mouth as she went to look over at him. "You should go meet my parents. I mean, it doesn't need to be like... super serious even though it probably will end up being like that, but we can go stay with them. Maybe spring break or something," She told him, smiling gently. "I doubt you have plans already made for spring break and I'm not feeling doing anything crazy for spring break, so I'm probably just gonna go home. But we can do like... cute stuff. We can go out on little day trips and stuff if you want but I'm sure my parents would love you. They've met a few of my boyfriends in the past and they're usually pretty nice but they talk shit behind their backs but I also didn't feel like this with anyone else, so I mean, I think they'll see that," She said with a soft laugh. "You don't have to say yes, obviously. I'm not going to force you to do anything, but I thought it could be nice."

Finn looked at Rachel with adoration in his gaze when she told him that no matter what she would be there for him. He knew she meant those words and he knew that he would be there for her as well through absolutely anything. "I'm here for you too, Rach. No matter what," he said softly. "And I mean, my dad does love me, we're a lot closer than me and my mom but I think it's all just in a rough spot right now. My dad just doesn't know how to deal with me and this whole situation. And you would love my mom. She's never met any girl I've dated before so she'll make it into some huge deal." He continued to eat his food until she told him that he should meet her parents, his eyebrows raising in surprise. "You want me to meet your parents? Like - me?" he said with a slight laugh. "I mean, if we're staying with them for spring break they're going to think it's something serious, right?" Finn knew he wasn't exactly 'bring back to parents' material and a part of him was kind of shocked that she wanted him to go with her but he definitely wasn't going to say no to spending that kind of time with her. "I don't feel like you're forcing me. I mean... I want to go. I want to meet your parents," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. "I just um - I don't want them to know about me um, you know, using. I really want to make a good impression on them and if they know that I'm an addict they won't want you anywhere near me." Finn looked down for a moment before he sighed. "Are we allowed to say that I'm staying with you? Or should we keep that to ourselves. I just - I don't know how chill your parents are and I know I'm not technically supposed to be living with you in the sorority house." Finn knew that explaining his and Rachel's situation was a bit difficult, especially when he knew from her parents perspective that he didn't look good at all. He was a drug addict living with their daughter for free and he was terrified they'd see him that way instead of as the guy who genuinely cared about her. "I am kind of excited to see where you grew up, though. I mean, I know your family is kind of loaded just from pictures you've shown me and, you know, your mom being some big deal with your sorority still."

Rachel laughed softly as Finn seemed genuinely surprised that she wanted to bring him to meet her parents. "I mean, yeah. I guess they'll think it's something serious, and I mean... I guess we're kind of serious? I don't know. I've had them meet most of everyone I was with. I don't like hiding things from them, I guess. I tell them pretty much everything, so yeah, I want them to meet you and know who you are." She shrugged gently as she continued to eat, her sighing softly at his words. She knew it was a lot more complicated than her just bringing him to meet her mom and her dad. "I know we'll have to make up a story or something. Well, tell the truth, but not the whole truth. They wouldn't exactly be happy that you're an addict, no. But... they wouldn't completely shun you. They can know you're living with me, I guess. I mean, we can just say you're having some problems with housing and it's just temporary. It's not exactly temporary, but... I mean, they don't need to know that. Just... housing fucked your shit up or something or you had problems with your roommates." She shrugged as she looked at him before smiling gently. "My parents are pretty chill, Finn. They love me and they want me to be happy. I could be with anyone and they'd try to be open about it and just... understanding. And hey, we're not... loaded. I mean, I have money, I guess. I'm not rich, though. My parents work a lot for what they have and I work for all of the stuff I want. Like you said, my mom is like the sorority queen of her time and she pumps a lot of money into our chapter, so it's nice to have her support and whatever. But don't let the house or the money make you feel intimidated or... weird. It's just normal to me. I don't act like a snob, you know? My parents don't either." She laughed gently before taking another few bites of her food, shaking her head gently. "We'll get to have fun, though. We live on the bay so we have a small boat and stuff. I think my dad bought a jet ski or something because he's having some mid life crisis shit but if he actually did buy it, we're definitely using it during spring break," She laughed, her nudging him playfully. "They're going to know you care about me just by how you act around me. The second they see that, they'll love you. I promise."

Finn knew that him and Rachel had strong feelings for each other and he figured that in reality, they were pretty serious. They were living together and spent practically every moment together and he knew they both wanted this relationship to go somewhere. "That's fine. We can tell the it's a housing problem even though I've been kicked out of school," he said with a soft laugh. He was nervous to meet her parents, he couldn't lie, and he knew it was because he was scared they wouldn't think he was good enough for her. Everyone else seemed to think he was horrible for Rachel and while that obviously hurt him, having her parents think he was terrible would be even worse. All he wanted to do was impress them and he was genuinely terrified that they would find out he was an addict and not want him anywhere near their daughter. He'd understand that reaction, of course, but he also knew himself and he knew he'd never hurt or take advantage of Rachel just because of his addiction. "I mean, it's kind of impossible for me to not be intimidated but I know you don't act like a snob and I doubt your parents do either," he said softly. "They have a jet ski?" he asked her excitedly. "That's so cool. I've never been on a jet ski before." Finn managed a small smile when she told him that her parents would be able to see how much he cared about her by the way he acted around her. "I hope so. I just... I really want to impress them. I mean, I know I don't have a lot going for me but I just... I have you, you know? And honestly, that's the best thing I've had going for me for a really long time." Finn knew he was in a really difficult spot in his life where he didn't have a job, wasn't in college and really didn't know what his next move would be and he hoped that didn't make him look like a total loser to her parents. "What should I say if they ask me what I want to do like career-wise?" he asked her. "Because I have no fucking idea. A-And what if they find out I have a record. They could find that out, I'm pretty sure there was a news article written about my car accident and shit," he said, feeling himself starting to get more and more nervous, him ignoring his food as he looked down at his hand, him toying anxiously with the foil around his burrito. "I'm like the opposite of boyfriend material... I know you say they're going to like me because I care about you but I just - I don't want to fuck this up."

Rachel grinned over at Finn as he asked about her having a jet ski. "Yeah, he does. I mean, my mom and dad also have a small-ish boat. I mean, it's not like... super small but it's big enough for a few people to sit on. We can go out there for the day and stuff and pack food and some beer and some liquor and shit and have a good time." She said, smiling gently. "We'll do a lot. I mean, we live by the lake so I had it pretty cool growing up. It was fun to be outside all of the time and stuff, so I mean... I have a lot of stuff I like to do when I'm home." Rachel smiled gently at him before moving to continue to eat her food. "Hey, hey. Relax, okay?" She immediately said, moving to rub her hand over his arm. "They're not going to find out about shit. And honestly, I know they wouldn't be thrilled with you being an addict, but they wouldn't hate you for it. And I really don't think that they're going to do a background check on you before they meet you. I'll tell them that I'm bringing someone and they'll know it's a guy, otherwise I would probably just be bringing Chloe, you know? So they won't know your name or search you and stuff. Just... don't worry. You're not going to fuck anything up, so don't worry. I mean, they'll be really happy that I'm happy. I haven't been like.. happy because of someone in a while, I guess. So just me bringing someone to meet them is a big deal to them." She knew that it was hard to imagine her parents finding out anything about him because she knew that they'd be worried about her being around something like that, but she knew it wasn't really that bad. She knew that things could be a lot worse. "My parents are really open about a lot of stuff. They're chill about a lot of things and they're honestly the kind of people that'll open up a bottle of wine around a fire pit and just... have a conversation with you. I'm sure my dad will like you a lot." She shrugged and nudged him gently. "And you'll have to introduce me to your mom one day. I know things aren't the greatest with your family right now, but I mean... if you ever want to see them or something I can drive you." Pausing, she smiled as she continued to pick at her food. "I'm excited to have you go home with me, though. It's gonna be fun showing you my place and stuff."

Finn looked up at Rachel and sighed when she told him to relax, him just nodding. He had never been the kind of guy to be insecure and a part of him hated that he was like that now. He missed his old, confident self but a part of him wondered if he had only been that way because of all the coke he had been doing. "Well, I'm glad that I make you happy. I hope they see that because that's honestly all I want to do. I want to make you smile." When she said that her dad would like him a lot, he smiled softly at her. "Well I'm looking forward to having some wine with your family and getting to know everyone then. And I um, I will introduce you to my mom. Maybe we can go there for a weekend or something." Finn finished off the rest of his food quickly and when Rachel said that she was excited to have him go home with her, he looked at her happily. "You being excited makes me excited too. I can't wait to see where you grew up and hear some embarrassing stories about you," he said playfully. "I think that us going to your place for spring break will be exactly what we need, you know? It gives us the chance to be together without everyone up our asses and it gives us time to be away from Jamie and Chloe. I love them and they're our best friends, obviously, but I need space for sure," he told her. "I hung out with Jamie earlier and all he kept trying to do was bring up rehab. Which is just a joke," he said softly. "But anyway, we're not talking about that - we're being happy today." Finn smiled softly at Rachel, him leaning in a bit closer to her as he looked into her eyes. "Do you remember the night we first met?" he asked her. "I mean, obviously it was at a party and it was kind of crazy but even then I knew that there was something different about you and the way I felt about you. I don't know, Rach, you always say I'm stuck with you but I think you might be stuck with me for a long time," he said as a playful smile pulled up at the corner of his lips.

Rachel knew that Finn was right -- the two of them definitely needed the chance to get away and just... have time together. Their friends were amazing, they were, but everything felt so judgmental lately and she hated that Finn was always being told what to do or was being judged for everything. "Yeah. I know. I just- I get why they're up your ass and everything, but like... Chloe is being such a bitch to me and to you and I get the Jamie wants to help but I just... I've seen rehab do really great things for people and I've also seen it do really terrible things to people and I don't want you to go through one of the terrible things. I want you to get clean, obviously. But I don't want rehab to mess you up even more when you get out of it if that was ever the route you were to take." As Finn brought up the night they met, she felt a small smile rise on her lips, chuckling gently. "Yeah. Believe me, I remember. How could I forget? We were crazy. And the sex was very good," She said with a teasing smile. "We just... clicked right away. It was nice. And believe me, I definitely love being stuck with you so I think it works out in the end. I mean, I literally had seen you in class once and had seen you walking around campus and... I guess I never really thought about ever introducing myself, but... it was nice to talk to you and get to now you. Even if we got really high and got really drunk, it was... nice. Different. I don't know. I know that we clicked and that we were really different from the beginning. Chloe and Jamie acted like they were married from the second they met, but I guess.... I guess it took us a little longer to get to that place," She said with a teasing smile. "I'm pretty sure we see each other more than they do anymore. Then again, you do live with me, so that's not really a fair point," Rachel laughed. She loved being with him and she loved getting to spend all of her time with him even if things were so crazy half of the time. She'd take anything she could with him. "That first night was... interesting, to say the least." She stopped for a moment and looked back into his eyes and smiled softly. "I sometimes miss how easy it was back then. And... and even though things are harder now, I just- I don't know. I also love where we are now. Maybe that's bad to say with how things are but I- things weren't like this back then. We were... different, but we were having fun. It's not really like that anymore."

Finn would always be grateful for the way Rachel was with him. She was so patient with him and so supportive and while he knew she wanted him to get clean, she understood that she couldn't force him to do so. She understood how to talk to him the right way and he knew it was because they just got each other. They always had and they always would. "The sex was very good. The sex is still very good," he said with a laugh. He couldn't help but wonder where he would be in his life if he had met her earlier but he knew there was no point in thinking about what if situations. "You think we're in that place?" he asked her softly. "You think we act like we're married." Finn couldn't help but have a playful smile on his face and he knew that he cared about her more than words could describe. "But yeah, we do live together now so we definitely see each other more than they do." When her eyes met his, Finn smiled sadly at her and he knew that he missed how easy things had been back when they had first met as well. "No, I know what you mean. I mean, things were easier then but they weren't as real, right? I mean, we were were basically together when we were together but when we were apart we were with other people. Now it's... now it's something real and I know that the situation isn't exactly great with me but I know my feelings are real for you and I know I want to be with you," he said softly. "I'm not going to be an asshole and lie or... or try and hide things from you anymore. I'm just done with all of that. I hate that it took our huge fight before your formal for me to like realize how much I needed you but I'm glad I finally did. I'm so happy I finally have you in my life for real because you are everything to me, Rach." Finn smiled at her before he moved to take her hand from across the table, him lacing their fingers together.

Rachel shrugged with a small smile on her lips, looking at him. "I mean, yeah. We kind of act like we're married. But I think it's because we literally are next to each other twenty four seven. But I mean... hey. Most of the time, we're fine, but we have little arguments and stuff like a married couple," She laughed before shaking her head. Finn had a point, really. Things definitely weren't as real before, but things were just as intense. They weren't exactly exclusive back then and she wasn't sure when it was officially established that they weren't seeing other people, but she knew that it had just happened at one point. She was tired of fucking around with other people when nothing really made sense with anyone else. She was tired of searching for something real when she knew that she had it with Finn. As he spoke, Rachel smiled gently, looking down at their hands for a moment. "I'm still kind of pissed at you for that," She said with a teasing smile. "But I just- I know. I know what you feel for me is real because I can see it. And I feel the same way about you. You mean so much to me and I really don't know what I'd do without you. Like you said before... you're my person. And I don't want to lose you," She told him before leaning to kiss him, her smiling slightly between a few soft kisses. "We probably should leave before I start making out with you in the middle of a restaurant," She said in a soft breath against his lips before kissing him again and moving to pull away.

[hudson-finn]

I Think You Think Too Much of Me

Tagging: Finn & Rachel Location: Rachel’s Sorority House Notes: When Finn gets kicked out of his father’s house, he goes to the one person he still has.

Finn knew that it was going to happen eventually - him getting kicked out of his dad's house. He had been getting lazier and lazier with trying to hide his drug use and when we woke up from a daze to his dad ripping a needle of out his arm and packing his bags, he knew he had no place to go. He had tried to go to his mom's house but when she turned him away because of her boyfriend's kids, he didn't know where to turn. He didn't know where to go. The first place he found himself was at his dealers, him buying more bags of heroin before he went to the nearby bus station and crashed on one of the benches. A week went by of him spending his nights like that before he found himself growing desperate. He didn't know where to go, he was quickly running out of money he had swiped from his dad and he knew that he wasn't going to last long going the way he was. So, he managed to hitch a ride to Austin and when he found himself back in the familiar city, he couldn't help but feel strange. All he had to his name was some clothes and drugs in a duffel bag and other than that he had nothing. It didn't take long for him to find himself at the door of Rachel's sorority house and while he didn't even know if she was home, he knew that he needed to see her. They had spoken fairly regularly since she had showed up at his house and he knew she probably thought it was strange that he disappeared off the face of the earth for a week without saying anything to her. Finn bit down on his lip and let out a shaky breath before he knocked on the door. When a girl he didn't recognize opened the door, the smile on her face falling at the sight of him, he knew he probably looked like absolute shit. "Can I help you?" she asked, her tone definitely not inviting. "I um - is Rachel Berry here? I - I'm Finn. She's my friend and I just - um - is she here? Can I see her?"

Rachel had been so incredibly busy. She honestly didn't know where the time went. After rush week, she was getting a lot of events put together as part of her role on the executive board and she definitely was exhausted. She was so excited to welcome all of the new girls, but establishing rules of the house was definitely really hard. It was hard to figure things out, but she was so happy to be able to have the position she did. Rachel was laughing as she held onto her bottle of water, seeing some of the new girls finish up a sign for the event on Saturday that they were spending the day prepping for. Rachel looked over to Chloe and she offered her friend a slight smile. "It's nice, kind of. Being on the board. You get to just sit back and watch." She laughed, Chloe rolling her eyes playfully. "You have a point." The girl said, Rachel laughing before taking a sip of her water, moving over to the girls to help them attach something to their poster. When Rachel was speaking with the other girls, she stopped when she heard her name, looking back for a moment. "Rachel, someone's here for you. He looks like he's homeless, so I mean, I don't know if he's some weird stalker or whatever, but I can ask him to go. Or say that you're not here," The girl said, Rachel standing up and shrugging. "I can see who it is. I don't have a stalker," Rachel laughed, moving towards the door and immediately feeling her smile fade slightly as she saw Finn on the other side of the door. She really didn't even need to have an explanation to know what was going on. Moving over to him quickly, she moved to let him in, shutting the door behind him. "You can tell all of the other girls that Finn is always welcome inside here," Rachel said to the girl, her nodding quickly before moving off to give them a moment that they very clearly needed. "You look like shit," She breathed out, her hands moving to his cheeks for a moment as she went to look into his eyes. "I want to ask you what happened, but I don't... I don't know if I need to. Are you okay?"

Finn knew that Rachel told him that he could always stay with her but that didn't mean he felt good about it. He didn't want to be a burden on her but he also knew he was going to start really falling apart if he kept sleeping on benches at the bus station every night. He waited nervously as the girl who answered the door went off to get Rachel, him shifting back and forth on his feet. The second he saw her smile fade as she approached the door, he knew he really must have looked bad. When she quickly allowed him inside, her telling one of the girls that he was always welcome, he felt his heart swell with the adoration that he had for her. "I know," he breathed out when she said that he looked like shit, her hands moving to his cheeks. When she asked him if he was okay, he shook his head, him clenching his jaw as he tried to keep himself together. "My dad um - he kicked me out last week. I - I didn't want to come here. I was... I was sleeping at the bus station but I just - I know I'm gonna get worse not having a place," he breathed out. "I didn't know where else to go. I'm sorry. You're - you're doing something and I can - I can find somewhere to crash," he said quickly, feeling himself panic slightly. He didn't want this situation - his situation - to effect her because he knew that it wasn't easy and he knew that he was a mess she didn't deserve to deal with. "I'm sorry," he breathed out as he looked at her with sadness in his gaze.

Rachel felt horrible for Finn. She really didn't know what to do to make things better but she knew that she had to do something. When Finn told her that he got kicked out of his dad's house, she looked up at him sadly and sighed gently. "Finn, I told you that you could have called me when you got kicked out, and I meant that. I meant that my bed was open to you. I- I can't let you just run around the city looking for a place to stay. You can stay here," She told him, her looking at him and taking in a deep breath. "I'm never too busy for you, Finn. Please just.... just- you can stay here and you can clean up and then sleep in my bed. Just- hold on." She told him, her grabbing his hand for a moment before walking him towards the stairs. When she saw Chloe looking at her, clearly concerned, she bit down on her bottom lip for a moment. "Chloe, can you uhm... can you have the girls finish everything up and you text me when they're done so I can see it before they put it up? I'm gonna take Finn upstairs so he can get cleaned up and lay down and stuff," She said, her friend nodding. Rachel looked back to Finn and she offered him a small smile. "We can go to my room. I'll set you up to get a shower and we... we can talk. We can figure things out. Just... you shower and I can get you some food if you're hungry and we can chill in my room for a little bit. I'm just chilling around the house today so we can have some time together."

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "I know you said that I just - I didn't want you to have to deal with this," he said softly. When she grabbed his hand, he followed her toward the stairs, him shifting his gaze over to Chloe when Rachel spoke to her. He managed a small smile towards his other friend who returned it with a small one of her own before he brought his focus back to Rachel. "Okay. I... I am hungry. I haven't eaten since yesterday. And I'm sorry if I smell. I'm sorry that all those girls probably think I'm some psycho," he told her as he followed her towards her room. It was strange, he had been in this house with Rachel so many times before and yet it still felt so incredibly different. Everything felt different. The second they were in her room, he set his bag down gently before he turned to look into her mirror, his eyes widening at the sight of himself. He knew he had looked bad but for some reason seeing himself standing in Rachel's clean and tidy room and seeing himself was shocking in a way he couldn't explain. "Can I please shower?" he breathed out as he turned towards her. "I just - I feel really gross and I didn't realize how bad I looked. I - I haven't really looked at myself since I left." Finn felt so small, so weak and he knew he just wanted to clean himself off and forget about the past week. He knew in the grand scheme of things that he hadn't had it that bad but he also knew that for the first time he really had a taste of his life with nothing. He had a taste of what his life would be if he lost everyone he cared about and was left on his own. "I'm sorry again that I - I just showed up like that. I didn't have any way to contact you and I just needed to see you."

Rachel wished that she could say more or do more to help him, but she figured that starting with a shower was at least something she could give him. Once they were in her room, she shut the door slightly and looked at him. "Yeah, we can get you food as soon as you get cleaned up. I have a lot of stuff in the kitchen here, or we can postmates something." Rachel looked at him and could feel her heart breaking. She felt horrible that he was at this point and she wished that he had come to her the second that things had turned bad. The second he had gotten kicked out. "Yeah, you can shower. Of course you can shower." Rachel moved around her room slightly and grabbed a towel and some of her bath products that he could use. "Finn, it's fine. I wouldn't have expected you to do anything else. I mean, there's not many ways to contact me. And this is a different situation, you know? Don't worry. This is fine. Come on, I'll set you up with a shower. I share it with a few girls here, but take all of the time you need." Rachel opened her door and started to lead him there, her putting her towel down and her bath products down. "Just... take your time." She told him as she looked at him, her looking up at him. "Do you need anything else or are you okay? And oh- I- I have a razor here in case you want to shave, just... to clean up, you know?" She told him, her looking up into his eyes. "I'm really glad you came to me, Finn. I'm so happy that you're here." She paused for a moment, offering him a small smile. "And when you're done we can talk, okay? We can eat and then talk," She added at the end, knowing that she really was just so happy that he was here so that he could figure things out if he wanted to. And if not, she'd have to deal with it, but she also knew that she couldn't get any of her friends in any danger from him bringing shady people here to get drugs.

Finn grabbed a pair of sweatpants from his duffel bag and followed Rachel towards the bathroom, him watching as she set down the towel and bath products that she had brought for him. "I'm okay. Thank you, Rach. And I probably will shave a little," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. He could see how worried she was about him and he truly wished she didn't have to feel that way but he knew that he made it difficult for her not to when he put himself in the situations that he did. "I'm happy to be with you," he said softly, him trying his best to return her smile with one of his own. When she said that they could talk when he was finished he nodded. "Thank you, Rach. Thank you so much," he breathed out. The second he was on his own, he turned on the shower and stepped into the warm water, his eyes fluttering closed the second it hit his skin. He made sure to get himself cleaned up and once he shaved, he looked at himself in the mirror and was able to let out a breath. He looked better - he looked like Finn. While he still didn't feel like himself, he knew that he was just happy to be safe. To be with Rachel. He knew they were going to have a lot to talk about but he hoped that they'd figure out some kind of solution to all of this. Once he slipped on a clean pair of underwear and his sweatpants, he made his way back towards Rachel's bedroom. "I'm never gonna take a shower for granted again," he breathed out as he walked into her room, him offering her a small smile before he moved to sit down on the edge of her bed. "Thank you so much, Rach. I know I keep saying it but I really mean it. You - you letting me stay here tonight means so much to me," he said softly.

Rachel cleaned up her room slightly as she waited for Finn to come back into her room after his shower. She honestly felt like she was slightly in shock thinking that he was really here. She was surprised that he had really come here after so long, but she was so happy that he was reaching out to someone. Rachel fixed her pillows on her bed and she put away some of her laundry and her shoes on the floor, wanting to make sure that she had room for his things, not that he was carrying too much anyway. Plus, she wanted him to feel free to put things where he needed them. Rachel cleared one of her drawers for his clothes and once she sat on her bed and relaxed on her phone while she waited for him, she allowed herself to try and calm down. It was stupid to rush around especially when she was sure that he was going to take forever. Once Finn was back into her room, she smiled gently and watched him sit down on the edge of her bed. "Finn, you're welcome. Don't worry about it. And Finn, this isn't just for the night if you need more time. I have a full bed. I mean, it's not huge, but we can squeeze on here together and I- I have space in one drawer for you and I can make more room for you if you need it," She told him as she went to move closer to him. "Finn, if you need someone, let me help you, okay?" She whispered, looking at him. She sighed softly and rubbed his back gently. "I just- if you're going to stay here things need to be... different but- I just want you to feel safe and to feel comfortable. And uhm... while you were in the shower I grabbed you some snacks. They're on the dresser right there. But we can make some food downstairs in a little bit. I just want to talk to you for a little bit. I know it's only been a week since we talked but it feels like so long. And clearly, a lot has happened."

Finn looked at Rachel with a sad smile on his face as she spoke. "You made space in your drawer for me?" he asked her. He knew she cared about him but a part of him was honestly in a constant state of disbelief of just how much she cared. He looked down as she rubbed his back, him letting out a breath as he just focused on the fact that he was okay now. He was with Rachel and he was safe and that was all that mattered. "I know that - that things need to be different if I'm staying here. I - I know," he said softly. Finn turned to face Rachel fully before he slipped his arms around her waist, him tugging her to lay down on the bed with him as he buried his face in the crook of her neck for a moment. "I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life," he breathed out against her skin before he pulled away so he could look into her eyes. "You're like my angel, you know that?" Finn offered her a small smile before he pressed a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering for a moment. "I want to stay like this but I really need food too," he said, him smiling at her for a moment before he grabbed some of the snacks she had laid out for him. He quickly moved back to the bed as he shoved some food in his mouth, him more than relieved to have something to eat. "I don't even know where to start when it comes to talking, Rach. I - I know we obviously have to talk about everything a-and about like... whatever rules you have for me. I'm just, I want to be fully honest with you because obviously in the past I haven't been and I don't want to lie to you ever again. I won't," he told her as he looked into her eyes before he ate a bit more of his food. "I don't want to take advantage of you or be like some... some weight on your shoulders this semester so I - I don't want to stay if you feel like that, okay? Please don't let me ever make you feel like that."

Rachel let a soft laugh escape her lips as Finn moved down to lay on the bed with her, his face hiding in her neck for a moment. She smiled as he spoke, her looking at him as he looked into her eyes. "Just by being you. I want to be in your life because of you," She said softly before laughing slightly as he pulled away to get some food. "We'll have actual food in a little, but I figure that it'll hold you over for a little bit until we actually eat. And if you haven't eaten too much, you don't want to eat too much too fast anyway." She went to sit up slightly as she looked over at him. "I don't want to call them... rules, I guess. I just- if this was my own place, I wouldn't care as much. But the school does still regulate this to a certain extent and I mean, I have a lot of girls here that I'm kind of in charge of and I don't want something bad to happen to them, you know?" She said, sighing gently. "You're not going to be a weight on my shoulders. I just- I can't have you bringing people... here. To... to get high. Like your dealers or whatever. I can't have that," She told him, looking into his eyes. "And I'm not asking you to be clean overnight but you can't be getting high every second of the day in this room, Finn. If you're going to be staying with me, you need to at least start trying to figure things out. I'm just- I'm worried about you," She whispered, looking into his eyes for a moment. "I- I am gone a lot because of classes or... sorority shit but... I'll be here a lot to be with you. But like you said, I just need you to be honest with me. You don't need to be telling me everything you're doing, but I just... need you to be open." She didn't want to be suffocating, but she needed them to be on the same page. "I want you to feel comfortable here, obviously. But just... try not to do anything in front of all of the other girls, I guess. You can grab food and use the house just like everyone else, just... obviously don't bring drugs out right in front of all of the girls, that's all. You can do what you want here."

Finn knew that Rachel felt responsible for the girls that were in her sorority and he certainly didn't want to make any of them feel uncomfortable. "I won't bring anyone here, I promise. I'd never want to make you or any of the girls here uncomfortable. That's - that's not what I want. That's not what I'm about." Finn knew this whole situation was going to be complicated and while Rachel told him that she didn't expect him to get clean overnight, a part of him knew that she was going to push for it. Of course he understood why but he also didn't think she understood just how difficult stopping was going to be. He was so deep in it and he knew that both his mind and body were totally hooked on the amazing numbness that heroin provided him. "You don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself," he said softly. "I'm safe, you know? I don't take too much or... or anything like that. I'm careful," he said softly. He knew being careful using heroin wasn't really a think but he truly did feel as though he had some sort of control over it. "I promise you that I won't do or say anything in front of the other girls. They'll have no idea, you know? No idea," he said softly. Finn sighed as he looked down for a moment before he ran a hand through his damp hair. "I want to tell you that I'm going to stop but it's just - it's so hard. And I know you know that but I just don't think it's possible for me to explain unless you've been in this... this weird place that I'm in. I wouldn't want you to be in this, anyway." Finn bit down on his lip and looked down for a moment before he looked at Rachel, a small smile forming on his face as he met her gaze. "You're so perfect, Rach," he breathed out. "You're literally like... like the most amazing person I've ever met in my life and I don't understand why you care so much about someone like me but I... I love you for it, you know. I love you for everything you've done for me and I promise I'll pay you back for it all one day."

Rachel really didn't believe that Finn was being safe with using heroin because she didn't think that there was really such a thing, but she was just going to give him the benefit of the doubt. It seemed impossible to really get it through his head that he was in a bad place, but she was going to continue to try. "That's fine, I just- I don't think you would, I just know that you're not yourself when you're high and I just don't want you to do something stupid. And I- I know that you're good and you clean up after yourself most of the time and everything, so you'll be fine here." She smiled sadly as she looked at him and just nodded. "I know. I know that I can't really understand how you feel, but you need to get clean eventually. I'm not going to be up your ass about it, but you definitely do need to stop. You're basically killing yourself at this point." As he spoke again, she looked into his eyes and felt her heart swell in her chest. "You don't think enough of yourself, you know? You're so amazing and I see so much in you and I can tell you don't see it. Even when I first met you, you didn't take school that seriously and you just... you went to class but didn't pay attention. I know that you could do really great things. I care so much about you, Finn. I love how... how passionate you are and how sweet you are and I love how close we are. I just- I miss you sometimes and I know that you're right here next to me, but sometimes it feels like you aren't. And even though you being here is because of a really horrible reason, I just- I love that you're here. I love that we get to have some time together now because I feel like we haven't just had... time for us in so long. And maybe you need some time with people that really want to see you better and can help you be better. But I'm mostly really excited that I get to be here with you. We're gonna have to get really cozy with each other if we're gonna be comfortable in this bed, though." She said with a soft laugh, looking at him.

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "I will get clean, I promise. I will," he told her. He knew that he would stop eventually, he would, he just wasn't ready yet. He wasn't ready to face that journey when he truly felt that he still needed heroin in his life so desperately. As she started talking about him, Finn smiled softly as he looked down. "You're the only person that's ever said this kind of stuff to me. I just - I don't know. You amaze me. And I'm happy I'm here too. I missed you so much and I'm definitely looking forward to being here with you. Plus, I think we'll be pretty comfortable in bed together. It's not like we haven't done it before." Finn looked at her with a smile before he shifted on the bed slightly, him laying on his back as he looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "Do you have to finish what you were doing down there?" he asked her curiously. "Because if you do, that's fine. I just - I don't want to get in the way of what you had planned for the day or anything. I know you probably have some serious arts and crafts to get done. Or whatever sororities do when they're not partying," he said with a laugh as he looked at her. He really did feel lighter just being around Rachel and while he knew he wasn't happy by any means, he was happy to be with her. When they were together, he felt like he could breathe again and he knew that he needed her in his life desperately if he really was going to get clean at some point.

Rachel knew that Finn had a lot of potential and she wished that he could see it too. He always did so much and Rachel just wanted him to be happy again. "Yeah, I know. We've definitely been close to each other on this bed together, but it's gonna be nice. I mean, we're going to be together like every single day basically so I mean, it'll be nice." She was excited for it, honestly. She was excited to just have something to look forward to in the future -- being with Finn and enjoying her time with him. Well, hopefully. She hoped that he wasn't too out of it all of the time to where he couldn't even actually be with her. As he asked her about what she was doing downstairs, she shrugged. "Nah, I'm finished. I had Chloe step in for me. She's been helping me out a lot so it's been nice. I have a lot of shit to do so I've been leaning on her a lot. We're getting ready for some philanthropy event this weekend, so I'm having all of the new pledges make some banner to hang up. I think they can handle some hot glue and some paint," She said with a small laugh, a smile on her lips. "Do you want actual food?" She said, her offering him a small smile. "If you don't want to cook, we can... order some food or something and have it delivered. I don't know how... up to cooking you are but I have shit to make sandwiches and stuff." She offered, keeping close next to him on the bed. "I have the whole rest of the day to spend with you so we can do whatever you want. If you just want to chill out and relax and actually sleep on a nice bed, then we can just do that. Anything you want."

Finn looked at Rachel with a small smile on his face as she spoke. "I'm glad you have Chloe. She's a really good friend to you. And yeah, they can handle some paint and hot glue, I think." When she asked him if he wanted food, he couldn't help but laugh softly as he nodded. "I would love some actual food. And I don't care if we cook or order, I definitely need food as soon as possible because I'm starving," he told her. Finn definitely liked the sound of just being lazy with Rachel all day long, although, he couldn't deny that a part of him was nervous about them staying together. She had never seen him shoot up before. Sure, she had obviously been around him while he was high, but he had always tried his best to keep that world away from the little world he had when he was with her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before he moved to sit up, him running a hand over his face for a moment. "Sorry, I'm just um, you know, thinking about... you know," he said softly. "I really want to spend time with you today and just be lazy with you but I'm also gonna start going crazy if I don't get high at some point too," he explained. Finn didn't want to lie to her when he was thinking about heroin. He just didn't want to lie to her at all anymore and while he knew it would scare her, he just had to be up front with her. "But let's focus on food for now," he said quickly. "I'm so hungry," he breathed out as he moved to stand up, his hand on his stomach as he looked over at Rachel with a small smile on his face. "Do I look okay now that I showered and shaved a little? I don't want to scare any of the other girls because the one who answered the door definitely thought I was some homeless dude trying to get money or something."

Rachel wasn't stupid. She knew that Finn would need something -- he wasn't sober and he definitely didn't have any plans to really get sober right now and she knew that it was stupid to think that he'd not use while he was staying here. "It's okay," She said softly, looking at him as he went to sit up. "You don't need to apologize. I get it. I mean... I understand that you need to. And I uhm... it's fine that you want to and that you have to. You can, obviously. Just... only in this room, that's all." Rachel wasn't really sure that she was prepared to see him getting high, but she knew that she had to. If Finn was going to be staying here, he couldn't be hiding things. "Let's just go downstairs," She said with a soft laugh as she moved to sit up. "I can get some stuff for sandwiches out of the fridge and we can just have something easy. And the girls will probably be happy to see that you're cleaned up. And they can see how hot you are," She teased, her moving to get up off of the bed as she looked at him. "Let's just get food and we can eat quickly and come back up here to spend some time together. And... you can do whatever you need to." Rachel went to open her door and she looked at him, smiling gently. "Come on, before I eat all of your food," She laughed as she started to walk down towards the kitchen, a smile on her lips. She honestly was just incredibly happy to be here with him, especially after so long of being apart from him and she couldn't wait to finally be close to him once again.

Finn nodded when Rachel told him that he could only get high in her room. He knew that he wasn't going to dare do anything outside of her bedroom because the last thing he wanted was to get her in trouble or have any of the other girls know what was going on. Only him, Rachel and Chloe knew that he was using and he preferred to keep it that way. When she moved to sit up, he smiled and nodded at her mention of getting to have something easy to eat. "I mean, you're not wrong there," he said teasingly when she told him that the girls could see how hot he was. "I'm more concerned with you seeing how hot I am though." Finn looked at Rachel with affection in his gaze as he followed her out of her room and towards the kitchen. She looked so happy and it made him happy to see her that way. To know that she was actually happy that he was around. With everyone else he truly felt like him being around was just a massive burden and he was so relieved to have Rachel in his life because he truly didn't know where he'd be without her. "It's weird. Only a few months ago we were hanging out in here all the time and it feels like a whole lifetime ago," he breathed out as he leaned against the counter once they were in the kitchen. "How's your semester been so far?" he asked, knowing that he just wanted to hear about how she had been since he truly felt like when they talked they were always so focused on his well-being. "You been going to any good parties?"

Rachel looked at Finn as he leaned against the counter, her offering him a small smile. "Yeah, I know. It really does feel like a lifetime ago. And I mean, in college terms, a few months really is a lifetime ago. I mean, a lot has happened, you know?" As Rachel moved around the kitchen to grab some stuff to make sandwiches, she was honestly just so grateful that Finn was safe and that he was here. She was so happy that he had come to her and that honestly meant more than anything. "My semester's been going okay," Rachel said, grabbing a couple of water bottles from the fridge before handing one to him. "I mean, I'm busy. As you can see. We had elections and now I'm president so my mom is thrilled," She laughed gently, beginning to make the two of them some sandwiches. "My mom was like the star of Delta Gamma back in her day, so she's excited that I'm filling her shoes. But other than that, classes are going really well. I've been trying to stay on top of things, but it's hard. I've been pulling all nighters and stuff. The only reason you don't see dark circles under my eyes is because I definitely perfected the craft of makeup," She said teasingly as she looked back at him. "And as for parties, I mean, I haven't really been going out. I've held some parties here for the beginning of the semester and I went to a couple with uhm... with Ethan, but that's it, really. It's been pretty tame. I'm tired of partying and stuff, anyway. I had my go at it and I still enjoy getting a little drunk with my friends, but I'm tired of the whole party scene." Once she finished up their sandwiches, she put a few chips on the side before handing a plate to Finn. "A part of me wishes that I didn't take on so much, but I like being busy. It helps keep me focused. I've had a few mental breakdowns of me crying in my room a couple of times, but you know... that's college." She said, a slight smile on her face. "Uh, do you want to eat down here? We can go into the dining room. We only have huge tables, but you know, we have to feed like... over fifty girls," She said with a soft laugh before leading him towards the dining room.

Finn raised his eyebrows when Rachel told him that she was the president of her sorority. "What? You're president? Look at you, killing it over here," he said with a soft laugh. He was proud of her for doing so well and he truly didn't know how she did it. She did insanely well in school, was the president of her sorority and still managed to have a social life. Plus, now she was stuck worrying about him and he couldn't help but feel bad. God, he just didn't want to be a burden on her. He really didn't. "Well, you look amazing. And I'm really proud of you for doing so great," he said softly. As she told him how she had been to parties - with Ethan, he bit down on the inside of his cheek. He knew that she had every right to hang out with Ethan but he couldn't help but feel jealous. At this point, he knew he had strong feelings for Rachel whether he liked it or not and while he knew that he had to figure himself out first, that wasn't going to make his feelings go away. "I mean, the party scene isn't for everyone. Even I stopped with it," he told her, him offering a small smile as she handed him a plate. "I guess that's college. I took the complete opposite approach and did nothing until I had a mental break down in a different way," he said with a laugh, him nodding when she asked if he wanted to eat downstairs. He followed her towards the dining room before he took a seat, a sigh escaping his lips as he stared down at his sandwich for a moment before he looked back to Rachel. "Hey Rach?" he asked her softly as his gaze met hers. "Are you and that Ethan guy... are you together?" A part of him knew that he had no right to ask that question but another part of him was just so curious. He needed to know if she was with Ethan. He needed to know if there was ever going to be hope for him one day and even though he knew he didn't deserve it, it didn't stop him from wanting it.

Rachel couldn't wait to just start to be spending more time with Finn. Obviously, it wasn't for the best reason, but she was still happy to spend time with him. It was so horrible that he was still dealing with everything he was and she wished that she had a solution for him. She wished that she could just snap her fingers and have him be fine. However, that wasn't the case. A part of her wished that she was never in the party scene and just never got Finn involved with more of what he was. However, she knew that she was thinking too far into it -- if she knew him or not, she knew that he would still most likely have gotten himself into the same situation with how crazy he had been getting. Rachel continued to eat as she kept quiet for a moment, just trying to relax with him and enjoy a normal meal with him where they weren't fighting or weren't having some random problems. As he asked her about Ethan, she looked up at him and sighed softly. "I mean... no. I know you want to hear me say no, and the answer really is no. I just- he's convenient, I guess. Like, we're not together and I wouldn't even say that we're really... talking or whatever. We just hang out because he's in our brother frat and stuff so we go to parties together and stuff, that's all. We hang out on campus and stuff but we're not... together." She said, her looking into his eyes for a moment. "I'm not really into him as much as I was before, I guess. We have fun or whatever but there's no connection, really." She paused for a moment before taking another bite of her food. "Like... I don't know. I don't want to be cheesy or whatever but you make me laugh and I have a good time with you and it's not... forced or anything and I just don't really have to think about it. I mean, the moment we met we were fucking crazy," She laughed, looking at him with a smile. "It's confusing, I guess. But I'm just... seeing what happens with everything. You don't need to be jealous," She said with a soft smirk, taking another small bite of her sandwich. "And I mean, Finn, you're kind of going to be sleeping in my bed every night, so I think you have a pretty good position."

Finn could feel himself relax slightly when Rachel told him that her and Ethan weren't together. He knew that he had no right to feel any type of way about it but he did and he knew that his feelings for Rachel were strong whether he liked it or not. "I mean, it's not that I want to hear you say no because if he made you happy or whatever, I'm happy for you. But, I mean, I'm not mad that you're saying no," he said softly as he looked into her eyes before he took another bite of his sandwich. When she told him that he made her laugh and that she had a good time with him, he looked at her with a small smile on his face. "I'm not jealous. I'm just... not a fan of Ethan," he told her, knowing for a fact that he was absolutely jealous. "And I know I'm sleeping in your bed but it's not really like it was, is it? I mean, I'm not that guy that you were talking about anymore, you know. I don't think I've made you happy in a long time." Finn sighed softly before he finished off the rest of his sandwich and moved to rest his elbow on the table, him leaning against his hand as he looked at her. "Sorry, I'm not trying to be super depressing or whatever. I'm just not in a good head space. I mean, obviously." Before he could say anything else, Chloe walked into the dining room and he offered her a small smile as she looked at them both hesitantly. "Hey Chloe," he greeted as she moved over to him and leaned down to give him a small hug. "Hi Finn. I missed you," she said softly. "I know you two are talking and I'm not trying to interrupt but is everything alright? Last week Jamie got a call from your mom freaking out that you were homeless and no one could get in touch with you and suddenly you're here. What's going on?" Finn sighed as he looked at his friend before he looked down at the table. "Um, I'm gonna stay here with Rachel for a little bit. I - I don't know how long. I mean, I know I have to figure something else out and I will but I... I'm just going to stay here for now. Is that... is that okay?" he asked her. Finn knew that Chloe and Jamie had both been frustrated with him from the moment he started using and while his friends obviously tried to help him out, he could tell by the way she was looking at him and Rachel that she wasn't too happy about the situation.

Rachel looked at Finn sadly and just offered him a small smile. "You do make me happy, Finn. I just- I'm sad because we're always apart and you're always putting yourself down. I just- you do make me so happy. And honestly? Finn, it makes me so happy to know that you came here to me. That you're safe here." She honestly didn't know how to express what she was feeling but she wanted him to know that he always made her happy. "It can be like before. I mean, I feel different about us, not not in a bad way, you know? It's a good way. After going to your house, I just- I don't know. Honestly, I'm just so happy that you're here," She told him, smiling gently. When Rachel saw Chloe walk over, she sat up a little straighter in her chair while she looked over at her friend. She really didn't want her to interrogate Finn, but she obviously had a right to know what was going on. As Finn asked Chloe if it was okay, she saw the girl's expression and Rachel immediately spoke up. "Chloe, can we talk for a second?" She asked softly, getting up and pulling Chloe into the kitchen to get a little bit away from Finn. "You're really going to just... let him live here with you? Get high in your room? You can't spend every second being worried about him." Chloe said, Rachel sighing and looking away for a moment. "Look, I-" "I know you care about him and shit, but you need to think about yourself, too." Rachel knew where her friend was coming from, but Rachel also knew that she couldn't give up on Finn. "I do care about him. And it's fine. I can't just let him go back onto the street, Chloe. He was living on some bench for like a fucking week. Him being here... it's fine. I promise it'll be fine. If he's here, I just- I know he's safer than anywhere else and he knows he has people who care. Just please... please try and support him. He's just so lost and confused and I want to try and help him figure it out. Please just support me on this. If it gets bad... we can talk again. Okay?" Chloe sighed, nodding. "Okay." "Okay, cool. Just... be cool about this." She said before she started to walk back to Finn, her moving behind his chair and wrapping her arms around his chest teasingly. "Are you full now?" She whispered gently, a soft laugh escaping her lips. "If not, I have more food in my room."

Finn could tell that Chloe wasn't happy that he was there and he knew she had every right to feel that way. The last time they had seen each other was when his parents had been moving him out of his and Jamie's apartment and she saw him at one of his lowest points. He knew she probably had a negative view of him in her head but he really hoped that somehow he could convince her that he wouldn't be a huge problem in the house. As Rachel pulled Chloe into the kitchen, Finn closed his eyes and leaned his head in his hands as his elbows rested on the table. He was trying to stay positive somehow but he knew it just wasn't really possible. He didn't know how long Rachel was going to deal with him but he knew that once he managed to fuck this situation up that he would be right back on the street. He pulled his head out of his hands and stared down at his empty plate until he was brought out of his thoughts when Rachel slipped her arms around him. Finn moved one hand up to rest over hers on his chest for a moment before he smiled softly. "I mean, I'm never full but I feel good now," he said as he turned to face her slightly before he got out of his chair. Finn slipped his arms around Rachel's waist and tugged her close to him as he looked down at her, a small smile pulling up at the corner of his lips. "Everything alright?" he asked softly. Finn knew that Rachel could probably convince Chloe to let him stay. That was her best friend, after all. However, he also wasn't sure if Rachel should have the faith in him that she did. He loved that she did, of course, but he knew that he was going to end up letting her down just like he had in the past. "Can we um... can we go back upstairs?" he asked her, knowing that he just wanted to be alone with her. He just wanted to forget the rest of the world existed for a little while.

Rachel wanted to be able to tell Finn the right thing to turn his mood around. Rachel wanted her support to help him as much as possible, but she knew it wasn't realistic. When Finn got out of his chair, she smiled up at him and looked into his eyes, wrapping her arms slightly around his neck while he moved his arms around her waist. "Yeah, everything is perfect," She promised him. It wasn't perfect, really. But she wanted Finn here and she'd do anything to convince everyone that things were fine and that he could stay and be fine here. Rachel really wanted things to be perfect for him and she knew that she was going to do everything possible to make sure he was comfortable and safe. "Of course we can go back upstairs." Rachel moved her hands down his chest for a moment before pulling away from him and going to grab his hand. She went to grab his hand, intertwining her fingers with his before looking to meet his gaze. "Come on," She murmured softly, her going to pull him up towards her room again. "I promise you that everything is okay, alright? No one will give you problems from being here. And if they do, I'll fuck them up," She teased gently before reaching her room and opening the door before closing it behind them. "I know that this is random, but if you have laundry or whatever, I'm gonna do laundry tomorrow so I can wash some of your stuff," She said before moving to sit on her bed, resting against the headboard. "I missed you being in here with me. It was always so nice to have you here. I slept so good all of the time." A small smile rose on her lips before she took in a deep breath. "I know that you're... not okay, but... are you okay with this? I know you're thankful for being here but if something I'm doing is making you uncomfortable or someone else makes you uncomfortable please just... let me know."

Finn knew Rachel wasn't telling the truth when she said that everything was perfect but he wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that things were going to be okay somehow. When she moved her hands down his chest for a moment before taking his hand in hers, he couldn't help but smile softly. She was good for him. So, so good for him and he just wanted to spend all his time focusing on her because nothing could be bad when Rachel was involved. "You're going to fuck them up, huh? I gotta see that," he said with a soft laugh as they walked into her room together. He felt a bit better the moment he was alone with her and when she started talking about laundry, he offered her a small smile. "I mean, I do have some laundry. I could only really bring what fit in the bag and it's kind of all, you know, mostly dirty clothes by now," he told her, his gaze on her as she moved to sit on her bed. When she told him that she had missed him being there with her, he smiled softly as he moved over to the bed, him laying down next to her. "I'm okay with this if you're okay with this," he told her. "You don't - you could never make me uncomfortable. And trust me, I'm not worried about anyone making me uncomfortable. I just... I don't want to make anyone here uncomfortable and I don't want to start problems for you because you have me here." Finn sighed before he rested his head in Rachel's lap, him closing his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face against her stomach for a moment. "I just missed you," he breathed out against her before he pulled away slightly, him looking up at her and a sigh escaping his lips. Finn moved to sit up, him facing Rachel and looking into her eyes before he shifted his gaze downwards once more. "I need you to promise me that if you're uncomfortable or stressed out because of me that you'll tell me, okay? Because if I'm bad for you, I'm going to leave, Rachel. I - I promise that I will be honest with you with what I'm thinking and doing but I need you to promise me. I need you to promise you'll tell me if you need me to go," he said, knowing that he just needed her to stop protecting him and protect herself from him if that was what things came to.

Rachel knew that things were definitely going to be interesting now. Now, she knew that she wouldn't be alone in here and it would be weird to adjust to sleeping next to someone. She wasn't going to be used to sleeping next to someone every night for a while, but she definitely knew that she'd love getting to wake up next to Finn. It wasn't the same Finn that she knew before, but she knew that he was in there somewhere behind this disguise he had on. As Finn moved onto the bed, she kept a small smile on her lips as she looked at him. "I'm definitely okay with this. Finn, you'll be fine. No one is going to be uncomfortable. Most of the time, you're going to be with me and I- I know that everyone is going to be fine," She said, her watching as he went to lay his head in her lap for a moment. She could feel her heart swell in her chest as she looked down at him, her hand moving to run through his hair slightly. Honestly, she never wanted to trade this for anything. She loved being with him and she just wanted more than anything for her and Finn to have something normal. She wanted to just give Finn a normal life. Rachel removed her hand from his hair as he went to sit up and look into her eyes. She didn't want to say yes, but she nodded gently, moving to meet his gaze again. "I will be honest with you. I'll tell you. But I- I'm not going to want you to go." She paused, her moving to take one of his hands in hers. "I want you here. I want to be that person to... to help you. And to support you even when no one else does. I know you don't have a lot of those people and I know that you need them. I can see how you are right now. And you're not yourself. Not just because of the drugs. You just... aren't you. And I- I want to be there for you. I told you at your dad's house that I cared about you and that I wanted to be there for you and help you. I didn't change that. I cried in front of you for forever that day. And I wasn't lying when I said all that." Rachel smiled sadly as she continued to look at him. "You're always welcome here. You're always welcome in this house and in my bed and in my life. I mean that. Finn, I just- I can't let you go again because I'm afraid I'll never have any part of you ever again."

Finn knew Rachel wouldn't want him to leave even if he was effecting her negatively. He knew how they felt about each other and he would obviously be the same way with her but he knew that he couldn't be a negative person in her life anymore. He wasn't going to let that happen anymore. "I know you won't want me to go but if I'm hurting you, I have to," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. When she took his hand hers, he laced their fingers together and he looked down sadly when she told him that she wanted to be the person to help him. "I just don't know if I can be helped," he told her. As she continued to speak, telling him that he was always welcome in this house, her bed and her life, he looked at her with affection in his gaze. "I'm so scared I'm going to hurt you, Rachel," he breathed out. "I know you meant every word that you said and that's what freaks me out, you know? I know you'll always be there for me. I know that you'll do whatever you can to help me and it scares the hell out of me when I need you to do what's best for you. I just - I don't want you to hurt yourself in the process of trying to help me. I promise, I'm not worth you losing every amazing thing you have going for you." Finn sighed softly as he looked down before he brought his gaze back to meet Rachel's. "I want to get high right now," he told her. "Even though I'm sitting here with you a-and I know it's wrong and I know you don't want me to, I still want it so badly," he said softly. "And I can't just stop, Rach. Even when I really do start trying, it's not just... it's not just over after that. I was clean for two weeks and I felt like I was dying. I was so sick... I couldn't stop throwing up or having the chills and everything just hurt." Finn looked at her with sadness in his gaze before he moved his hand from hers as he looked down. "I don't want you to get your hopes up and get hurt because of me. A part of me doesn't want you to get attached to me more than you already are because I don't know if I - I don't know if I'll make it through this."

Rachel hated how Finn was always so down on himself. Finn always said that she shouldn't waste her time on him and she just didn't understand. She wished that he could just see that she wanted to help him and she didn't care about him being down. It wasn't like he was taking advantage of her -- she wanted to help. He was in a bad place and he just couldn't see all of that sometimes. "You're not going to hurt me," She told him, her looking at him and offering him a small smile. She knew that he could hurt her and that if something horrible happened to him, she'd be absolutely devastated. However, she wasn't going to stop helping him because she was scared. "I get that you want to protect me from all the shit you're doing but I'm not stupid. I'm going to... to see all of this shit that you're doing and I just- I don't want you to be scared of hurting me. And listen, I just- if you want to get high, then that's on you, Finn. I told you that you could do whatever you wanted." Rachel didn't want him to feel like he had to listen to her rules -- she just wanted him to live his normal life. She just felt so much better that he was here and at least safer than being on the streets. "Finn, you keep saying all of this shit to me and you know that I don't care. Look, if you're going to hurt me, that's my problem in the end. And like I said at your dad's house all of that time ago, I just- I don't understand why you keep telling me that you're bad for me. If you are, so what, alright? It's my decision to keep seeing you and I don't know why you're pushing people away who give a fuck about you, Finn. I care about you. And you're gonna just have to accept that, alright?" She said, looking at him and crossing her arms over her chest after he let go of her hand. "You're here and I'm here and we just... we know that we're good together and that's just... all I'm saying, I guess. You're here and I'm just here to be there for you. I'm not going to force you to do anything. I just want you to have a roof over your head and for you to have someone who cares about you, okay? Please. Stop trying to push me away because I'm not going anywhere."

Finn didn't want to hurt Rachel and he knew he was going to. He did't trust himself to do the right thing and a part of him truly didn't know if he was ever going to get clean. While a part of him knew that he had to get clean if he wanted to have any actual future with Rachel or in life, he also didn't exactly want to. Despite how bad it was for him, he liked getting high. He liked not feeling anything and he loved the escape that heroin provided him. From the first moment he shot up, he had never felt anything like it and it wasn't just something that he was going to simply give up. It just wasn't that easy. When she told him that she cared about him and that he was going to have to accept that, he smiled sadly as he looked into her eyes, watching as she crossed her arms over her chest. He bit down on his lip as she spoke, his eyes on hers and when she told him that she wasn't going anywhere, he was pretty sure he had never felt more affection towards anyone in his life than he did towards her. "I - okay. I'll stop," he said softly. "You're the most stubborn person I've ever met in my life, you know that?" Finn couldn't help but smile as he looked at her and he knew it was the first genuine smile that had been on his face in a long time. "Look how serious you are right now with your arms crossed. I feel like I was in trouble," he said with a laugh. Finn smiled at her once more before he looked down at his hands, a soft sigh escaping his lips. "I never really wanted you to see me shoot up but I um... I know I obviously can't control that now." Finn bit down on his lip before he got up from her bed. While she had obviously seen him high plenty of times, she had never witnessed him actually getting high and while he didn't want her to see it, he knew there was really no other option at this point. He moved over to his bag before he dug out two tiny bags of heroin and everything he needed. "I try and um... I try and get high before I go to sleep because I can kind of function, you know? I just go to sleep and then I wake up and get high and I kind of have the day to be normal. I just have to keep it at least two times a day otherwise I start getting withdrawals," he explained to her as he dumped the heroin onto the foil he had with him, him flicking on his lighter as he melted it down before he poured it carefully into the needle. "I promise, I'm gonna try my best to... to keep up with that so I'm not like... a fucking mess when everyone else is around. I'll keep it in here and then during the day I'll be sober," he said softly. He hated that he was bringing this into her life but he knew if she wanted him to leave, that she would have told him to leave by now.

Rachel wished that Finn didn't have to keep telling her that she was getting herself into a bad situation. She did understand, though. She knew what she was getting herself into, but at the same time, she also didn't know. Sometimes, he terrified her but other times she didn't want anything other than him. She wanted to take all of the problems that he had and figure them out for him. However, she knew that wasn't exactly realistic. Rachel chuckled softly at his words, her looking at him as she sat against the headboard. "Mm, yeah. I am pretty stubborn. You should know that. You're going to get used to it, though." Rachel wasn't exactly sure how they were going to be right next to each other every second of the day and night, but she was sure that it would be interesting. Rachel just stayed silent as she watched him move over to his bag, seeing him grab things out of it. Rachel really hadn't ever seen him shoot up, though she'd done a variety of other things with him before. But this was something she knew she wasn't prepared for but she would be getting used to. She wished he could just stop, but she understood that it was unrealistic for him to just stop and never look back. She understood addiction but she just wished that he could at least try to stop. Rachel looked down for a moment before moving to look back at him. "Yeah. I just- I mean, no one is ever going to come in this room, so... you don't need to feel weird about not showing your face all day, you know? If you just... need to be in here, that's fine. I really don't want you to be an absolute mess all day and we can just... do things together, you know? The you that you were a few months ago was just... not cool. You were so angry and... and we were always fighting and now that you're here we can just actually have some time together if you ever feel up to it." She paused for a moment before sighing. "I know that I've never been with you when you've been like this, but I- I want to know what it's like for you. It's weird and kind of scary but I just kind of want to know, in a weird way."

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "I don't want them to know I'm getting high. I just - I don't want them to know. Obviously Chloe knows and you know but... I'm not going to get you in trouble or make them feel uncomfortable, okay? Just - please don't tell them, okay? I promise I'm going to hide it and if that means staying in here most of the day, that's fine. That's what I did at my dad's house anyway. I just... I was just there all day long getting high while he was at work so that I'd be normal by the time he got home. As for me being angry... I'm not gonna be like that anymore. I was just... I don't know, trying to push you away, I guess. All of this would be a lot easier if you all hated me," he said softly. When she told him that she wanted to know what it was like for him, Finn looked away from the needle as he looked into her eyes. "It's not weird. I get it. I mean, I gave up everything for it, right? Of course you'd want to know what the fuck it does for me that made me do this," he said softly. "When I first started I was doing coke with it too but I can't afford it anymore," he told her. Finn sighed as he looked down at his arm, him making his hand into a fist and tensing as he tried to find his vein. "This vein is done already. It won't take, so I moved to another one," he explained to her. He knew to most people it would be morbid, the way he was speaking to her, but he knew that she just wanted him to be honest. She didn't want him to hide from her anymore so, he was done hiding. If she wanted to know what was going on with him and what was happening in his life, he was going to let her in and he was going to make sure he straight up with her. "So I just... I just squeeze my hand and... and do it," he explained to her before he pressed the needle into his skin, him pressing it down so the drugs entered his body. Finn tugged the needle from his arm once it was empty and set it down on the bed next to him, his whole body relaxing as he felt the start of the high wash over him. "It's the best part here," he whispered, his words beginning to slur as he hunched over on the bed. "It all um... it all stops. The world stops and you - you're okay," he mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before they opened, him struggling to hold himself up as he looked at Rachel.

Rachel really didn't know how to react to all of this. It wasn't like she was exactly prepared to watch Finn get high right in front of her, but she figured it had to happen eventually. A part of Rachel really wanted to look away. She wanted to forget about this all and never have to think about Finn getting high ever again. However, she knew that this was at least a part of her life now because he was a part of her life and she wasn't going to let him go away. Rachel really didn't want him to continue to do this and continue to act like this, but she had already begged him to stop enough times -- it needed to be on him to stop because he clearly didn't want to stop. Rachel just looked at him as he spoke to her, Rachel biting down on the inside of her cheek for a moment. She honestly didn't even know how she didn't wince when she saw the needle disappear slightly under her skin, but she just felt like everything was moving in slow motion and like she was numb. It was really strange, honestly. How her life had turned into this from just a few parties with Finn. She watched hims set the needle down on the bed next to him and she just watched him for a moment before she felt her heart ache slightly in her chest. She didn't know how he was doing this -- how he was ruining his life like this. However, almost instantly, she could tell how much the drugs were affecting him. When she watched him hung over slightly, she tried to help him into his original position, her holding onto him gently and running her hand along his arm gently. She looked into his eyes for a moment before she moved her hand to his cheek and cupped it gently for a moment. She really didn't know what to say because she really didn't think that there was anything to say at all. However, she could feel so many words on the tip of her tongue that she wanted to say but she just couldn't. "You scare the hell out of me sometimes," She whispered after a long while of just looking at him, her words barely leaving her lips. She wasn't even sure if she actually spoke it because she just felt so incredibly confused and conflicted about everything. Rachel leaned against him slightly and she felt a solemn feeling completely wash over her. "I know I've been with you when you were high a lot of times, but I- I don't think I'll ever get used to it." Rachel ran her hand over his arm again before looking down at his chest. Obviously, Finn had done this an incredible amount of times, but it didn't mean that she wasn't going to be terrified of something happening to him now.

Finn didn't necessarily want Rachel to see him get high but he knew that they reached a point where that was what was going to happen. He was staying with her and he wasn't going to stop so she was going to see him shoot up eventually. He'd rather it be with her knowing and him explaining everything than her walking in on him randomly doing it. After the drugs were in his system, the hit him hard and while he knew he probably had taken a bit more than he should have, he loved the feeling more than anything. He loved pushing his body because the more he could take, the better he felt. He knew it was wrong and he knew he could die. Hell, it wasn't like everyone didn't remind him of that every second of the day. But he didn't care. God, he just didn't care anymore. If all he had left of his life was the rush he got from heroin, he figured it was better than nothing. But then there was Rachel. As she helped him sit up slightly and cupped his cheek in her hand, he blinked slowly as he looked at her with unfocused eyes. "I know," he breathed out in response to her words, his own words feeling heavy on his tongue. He knew that he scared her and it was part of the reason why he had been trying so hard to avoid her. He had been trying so hard not to put her in this situation with him. When she leaned against him, he let his eyes slip shut for a moment. Everything felt so heavy and while his mind was usually silent and at peace every time he was high, this time was different. This time he could only think of Rachel. "I don't wanna do this to you," he breathed out, his hand moving to rest on her leg as he sat beside her. "I'm sorry," he told her. Finn knew he had apologized too many times to count. He knew she didn't want him to keep saying it but he couldn't help it. He was sorry. It effected her even if she acted like it didn't and he just wanted her to know he was sorry even if he didn't seem to know how to show it. "I think I'm gonna die like this," he whispered. Finn's eyes fluttered open for a moment, his gaze on his hand on her leg before they slipped shut once again, him starting to hunch forward once more.

Rachel had been around Finn when he was high plenty of times. However, she still had never really been around him when he was quite like this. Rachel just looked at Finn as he sat next to her, making sure to keep close to him. She doubted that he was really fully here right now, but she was just happy to see him and to know that he was here with her. "Don't apologize," She breathed out, feeling his hand move to rest on her leg. "You don't need to apologize. It's okay." It really wasn't fine like she kept saying it was, but what was she supposed to say? It wasn't her life. She couldn't control what he did. All he could do was hope that he'd stop one day and that he'd be able to live a normal life. "Hey... hey," She breathed out, her moving over to him and helping him lean back slightly so he wouldn't fall over. She knew that if he fell over or fell onto his side, she really wouldn't be able to pick him up or move him because she just didn't have the strength. "Don't talk like that." She really didn't want him to always be negative, especially since she knew that she'd start to get in a worse mood right with him if it kept continuing. Rachel moved to rest one hand over the one that he had on her leg, gripping onto it gently. Leaning over close to him, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, her lips lingering against his skin for a moment. A part of her wished that things would change overnight, but she knew that it wasn't exactly possible. Things changing that quickly just weren't possible when Finn was like this. "You're fine," She said softly, her rubbing her hand over his before she just rested her head against his shoulder. Closing her eyes, Rachel took in a deep breath and let it out softly, concentrating on his chest that was rising and falling slowly. "How are you feeling?" She asked him, concentrating on the movement of his chest.

Finn opened his eyes when he felt Rachel help him sit up properly again. He was barely aware of anything other than how heavy he felt and his hand on Rachel's leg. When she told him not to talk negatively, he just nodded from where he was seated beside her. The second she pressed her lips to his cheek, he turned his head to look at her, him just nodding when she said that he was fine. Finn knew that this wasn't good. He knew getting high was slowly killing him but as much as he wanted to stop, he also couldn't. "I feel okay," he told her. "It... this shuts off the bad stuff," he told her, his words slurring together slightly. "I don't have to think when I... when I'm high." Finn managed a small smile as he sat with Rachel, his eyes shut as he just focused on feeling good with her by his side. He wasn't sure how much time passed where they stayed like that but when he felt himself gaining a bit more control, he knew he was okay. The initial hit was always the most intense part and while he was absolutely still high, his brain was gaining back the ability to speak and seem like he was functioning just fine. "Fuck," he breathed out, him turning his head slightly to look at Rachel, him taking her hand gently in his. "I'm alright," he whispered softly. "I feel good now," he told her. "It just... it really hits you at first but then you feel good once you... once you adjust," he explained before he moved to lay down on the bed, a small smile on his face as he closed his eyes.

Rachel was just trying to enjoy Finn so she didn't feel horrible about this entire situation. Rachel trusted Finn, she did. But she didn't trust him to not make horrible decisions like this. Honestly, she just felt like she needed to let him do his own thing, but she also felt terrible because she couldn't do anything. This was Finn's life and she just needed to push him in the right direction to help him as much as possible. Rachel didn't dare say anything else as she sat with Finn, not wanting to ruin whatever he was feeling. She just wanted him to feel what he always felt and she didn't want to be a burden like she sometimes felt she was. Once he turned his head slightly, she moved slightly against the headboard, her turning her head to look over at him. "Okay," She breathed out softly, her looking at him as he went to lay down on the bed. She stayed sitting up for a moment as she looked down at him, her sighing softly. She didn't want to say she was scared. A part of her wasn't, but this was all incredibly new to her. Rachel had her crazy time in her life -- she spent entire days getting high and partying but she had never experienced anything like this. Rachel went to lay down with him for a moment and she let out a soft breath. She stared at him for a moment, trying to just memorize his face for a moment. "I know I said it before but I- I'm so glad that you're here," She whispered softly, her biting down on her bottom lip gently. Rachel had never experienced anything like he was feeling and a part of her never really wanted to especially after seeing how Finn was right in front of her. "And I'm glad you feel somewhat normal now."

Finn just let himself focus on the high that he was feeling and he knew this moment was exactly why he couldn't just stop. He loved being high. He loved feeling the euphoria and numbness that heroin game him. The drugs shut off the doubts in his brain. They made him not think about the fact that he had fucked up his life so badly and he knew that he just wanted to stay this way forever sometimes. When he was sober, he was depressed and he just wanted to escape that in any way he could. Even something as dangerous as heroin. When Rachel told him that she was glad he was there, he opened his eyes and looked at her with a small smile on his face. "I'm happy I'm here too. I missed you a lot. I don't like not being with you, you know? You're like... you're my person," he told her. "I feel better than normal," he whispered. "Normal isn't good. This is good, I promise." Finn looked up at her and met her gaze before he moved his hand up to brush his fingers against her cheek. "You're so fucking beautiful." Finn smiled at her once more before he let his hand fall back down to his side. "I wish you were my girlfriend, you know? But I know you can't be," he said softly. "Maybe one day." Finn wasn't sure if it would happen because he knew that meant he would have to give up the drugs but he certainly hoped that he would be strong enough. He looked up at her once more before his eyes fluttered closed, him feeling a wave of exhaustion roll over him. "I think that one day... one day we'll um... we'll be okay. We'll be..." his voice drifted off as he fell into a light sleep, his body relaxing as he laid beside Rachel.

Rachel didn't know how Finn could do this every single day and act like nothing was wrong, but she also knew that Finn wasn't exactly Finn right now. All his body wanted was the drugs and he really didn't have much say to try and change that desire. As he moved his fingers to brush against her cheek, she smiled gently as she looked at him and sighed contently. While Finn was high, it was still the Finn she knew. She still cared about her and he still wanted to be close to her and she loved that she still got to do that. Hearing him talk about her being his girlfriend, she smiled sadly. "Yeah. One day, Finn. Okay? I promise." Rachel knew that her and Finn really did have a chance at being something, but she didn't want to spend her entire relationship with him just taking care of him or watching him get high all day. "We're gonna be okay, Finn. Don't worry about it." It was going to take a while, she knew that. It was going to take forever for Finn to really get clean and to be okay. Watching as he started to drift off to sleep, she waited for a moment before bringing her hand to his chest, ensuring that she could feel his chest rising and falling with every breath. Once she listened to him breathe for a few moments, she went to lay on her back, Rachel bringing both of her hands to rub over her face. "Fuck," She breathed out, moving to look up at the ceiling. It felt impossible to really accept this situation, but at this point? If she wanted Finn to be safe or if she wanted to be close to him? She had to just try and go with the flow and accept the situation so she didn't go crazy in response to Finn's actions.

[hudson-finn]

Times Like These

Location: Finn’s Dad’s House Tagging: Finn & Rachel Notes: Finn and Rachel see each other again for the first time in over a month when she shows up at his father’s house.

Finn was glad that his dad worked so much. He needed the solitude, if he was being honest. After everything that had happened over winter break, Finn was pretty sure that he was broken. He spoke to Jamie since his friend reached out to him but he knew that it wasn't what it had been. Nothing was what it used to be since he had ruined every relationship he had in his life. Even his dad treated him differently. Finn was trying his best to keep the drugs on the down low since he knew his dad would kill him if he found out he wasn't clean but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to be sober because he was equally as miserable anyway. When the doorbell rang mid-day, Finn groaned from where he was laying on the couch. His high was wearing off from earlier that day and while he wanted to ignore the door and go shoot up again, a part of him was fearful that his dad was sending someone to check up on him. He definitely didn't put it past the older man, that much was for sure. When he opened up the door and saw Rachel, however, he felt his heart leap into his throat as he looked at her. "Rach," he said softly, his voice breaking as he moved his hand to cover his mouth. He wanted to ask her what she was doing at his dad's house, he wanted to ask how she knew where he was or if she knew what had happened but all he could do was stare at her as his eyes filled with tears. "Um - I - what are you doing here?" he breathed out, his voice shaking as he tried desperately to hold himself together. He knew he probably looked like shit, he knew his life had completely fallen apart from the last time she had seen him and he couldn't help but feel like even more of a mess just looking into her eyes again.

Rachel was pissed at Finn and she hadn't even seen him in an eternity. It really hadn't been that long, but Rachel had tried so hard to force herself not to think about him or not to ask about him because if he didn't give a fuck about her, she wasn't going to give a fuck about him. After finding out for Jamie and Chloe that he was living with his dad, she practically begged for the address so she could see him. She didn't know why she wanted to, but she needed to. She needed to see him and make sure that he was okay, even if she had a feeling that he wasn't okay. She was honestly terrified to see him, but she knew that she needed to. "Hi." She said, looking at Finn who was clearly shocked to see her. "I'm honestly just as surprised that I'm here as you are to see me so..." She trailed off, looking off to the side and sighing. "I can't believe you. Fucking crashing your car? Getting kicked out of school? I had to find out from Jamie and Chloe like a day ago that you weren't even at the apartment anymore. No one even told me that you got in an accident. No one even fucking called me." She said, looking at him. "I thought Jamie would at least have said something. Or Chloe. No one did." She knew it really wasn't her business, but she felt like she needed to know. "Sorry. Uhm... I'm trying not to be angry. I'm really trying. I didn't come here to yell at you. I just- I needed to see you. Obviously you're alive and stuff but I just- I needed to see you. I know I've been a bitch to you and if you- if you want me to go I will, I just- I wanted to just see you. I don't know. I didn't know what to do. But Jamie told me that you were here and I just felt like I needed to come here."

Finn looked down brokenly when Rachel told him that she couldn't believe him. He knew he had been an idiot and he felt horrible for it and the weight of it all really seemed to press down on his shoulders now that he knew Rachel was aware of it. Even though they hadn't spoken since before winter break, her opinion of him still meant the world to him. "I - I didn't tell them that they couldn't tell you or anything," he told her. "I just... I don't know why they didn't. And I - I don't have my old phone anymore so I - I just - I couldn't text you," he told her, him tripping over his words since his anxiety was on another level seeing her. As she spoke, Finn started shaking his head, his eyes filling with tears again as he kept his gaze on the floor. "No," he breathed out. "I - I don't want you to leave," he whispered as he looked up at her. "Rachel, you never did anything wrong. I... I ruined everything," he told her, a few tears starting to slip down his cheeks as he spoke. "I ruined things with you... I - I got kicked out of school, I have a record now and I - I have nothing. I fucked everything up and I'm so sorry." Finn put his hands over his face as tears kept falling down his cheeks, him shaking his head before he stepped backwards from her for a moment. "I missed you so much even though I don't deserve to," he told her. "And I - I'm sorry. I was - I was so mean to you last time we talked and I'm so sorry I hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you."

Rachel looked at Finn and nodded gently, a soft sigh escaping her lips. She felt bad that so much shit had happened to him but a part of her knew that he needed some kind of wake up call to stop his shit. She really didn't know what was going on his life and she knew that she couldn't exactly say anything, not when things were still so weird between them. They were always so off and on but she knew that they wouldn't be if he just stopped shooting up every chance he got. When he told her that he didn't want her to leave, she just nodded gently, looking at him and feeling her heart break as she saw a couple of tears on his cheek. "Finn..." She said softly, looking at him, completely unsure of what to say. "Finn, I just- it's okay, alright? You're allowed to miss me. You deserve to feel that way. It's okay," She said softly, her stopping for a moment before leaning in to hug him, her wrapping her arms around him tightly. "You did hurt me, Finn. But you're still allowed to miss me. I missed you, too. I tried to make myself not miss you but I- I couldn't. I tried to not think of you but it was impossible," She said softly, her holding onto him tightly and feeling her heart ache in her chest. "You're scaring the fuck out of me, Finn. I don't know what the fuck is going on with you anymore and that's scarier to me than knowing you're hiding in your room." She pulled away from him slightly to cup both of his cheeks in her hands, her looking into his eyes. "You really hurt me. All I wanted was just... a chance, you know? I know you're not always really you and I... I know that was probably the case when I called you that day but I just- I wish things were different." She said, wiping away the tears from his cheeks. "It's okay, though. Okay? Just... it's fine. I wish things were different, but... they're not and that's okay."

Finn felt horrible for how he had treated Rachel. He knew he didn't even deserve her coming to check on him. After their phone call, he honestly believed that he would never see her again and he knew losing her was just one of the reasons he was so angry at himself. When she leaned in to hug him, he froze for a moment before he hugged her back tightly. He felt horrible that she was comforting him while he cried when he didn't deserve it but he also knew that he missed this more than anything. He missed her more than anything. When she told him that she had missed him as well, he honestly didn't know what he did to deserve her in his life. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I wanted to call you so badly," he breathed out. When she told him that she was scaring him, he felt himself break down even more. She wasn't the first person to tell him that lately and if he was being honest, he was starting to scare himself. "I know I hurt you and I'm never gonna forgive myself for the way I talked to you," he told her. He looked at her brokenly as she wiped away his tears and he pulled away from her gently as she spoke. "It's not okay, Rachel," he breathed out. "None of this is okay but I - I don't know what to do anymore. I just - I ruined everything. I don't want you to worry about me or - or miss me because all I ever do is hurt you and I don't... I don't trust myself to do the right thing. I don't trust myself anymore." Finn shook his head before he moved away from her, running a hand through his hair as he leaned against the wall. "I had that night planned out, you know. I was - I was gonna make it special for you," he told her, his voice shaking. "But then I just - I pushed you away and I ruined it because I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be some - some weight on your shoulders all the time because I can't stop getting high. I can't be a boyfriend when I can barely function." Finn looked at her brokenly as he spoke, knowing that he truly did feel horrible for everything he had done to her. "I should have died when I crashed my car. Saved everyone from this fucking mess," he breathed out as he moved to sit down on the floor, him putting his head in his hands.

Rachel sighed gently as he pulled away from her. She wished that he wasn't so hard on himself, but she also knew that he had a reason to be. Finn needed to change and he needed to figure something out to change his life otherwise Rachel really didn't know how he was going to end up. "I'm always going to worry, you know that," She said as she looked at him, sighing gently. "I literally have worried about you since I met you, so you know that I'm going to worry about you even if I don't even speak to you." As he talked about their night was ruined, she sighed gently. She really wished the night had been different. "Finn, I've been hurt by a lot of people my entire life. I was pissed at you. I'm not going to lie. But that doesn't mean that I don't forgive you. I get that you weren't really you." As soon as Finn continued speaking, she quickly moved her head over to look at him, moving down towards where he was now sitting on the floor. "Finn, don't say that." She said quickly, leaning down towards him and kneeling in front of him. "Don't do that to yourself. You don't deserve to talk to yourself like that. Finn, you're... you're an amazing guy. Absolutely amazing. I know you can do so much for yourself and you just- you keep going down this path. I know when you get high and people tell you that you need to stop, you just... you shut down and you turn into this... this monster. You just start snapping at people. I know that it's not my place to say that you need to stop, but... what kind of life do you have right now, Finn?" She whispered, looking into his eyes. "You get high and you run out of whatever you're using and you go out to get more and do it all over again. Where's your life? You- you need to get clean, Finn. I know that part of you that needs the drugs is telling you no, but you need to." She paused for a moment, feeling her voice get caught in her throat as she felt her own emotion rise. "Please. Just... just tell me what I can do for you. Tell me how I can help you. I just want to help you, Finn. I want to help you feel better. Like the old you."

Finn didn't understand how Rachel could forgive him for how he spoke to her the night of her winter formal. All he wanted to do was go back in time and stop himself from acting that way towards her because he regretted in more than anything. When she knelt down in front of him, he looked at her with sadness in his gaze. He didn't understand whys he was being so nice to him and when she told him that he was an amazing guy, he shook his head as he looked down at the floor. "How can you say that after everything I've put you through?" he breathed out. When she asked him what kind of life he had, he met her gaze and he could feel more tears run silently down his cheeks. "I don't know how," he whispered when she told him that he needed to get clean. "I don't know how you can help me because I - I'm the problem, Rachel." Finn shook his head as he tore his gaze away from hers for a moment, him desperately trying to figure everything out. "I was clean for three weeks," he said softly. "After the accident. And my - my parents moved me here because it's the furthest from Austin and they figured I wouldn't have my old contacts. My dad literally smashed my phone when we first got here," he whispered. "But I - I kept having withdrawals and they wouldn't go away. I... I tried to ignore them but then I just - I didn't want to fight it anymore. So I found Kevin on Facebook and he hooked me up with someone here." Finn shifted his gaze back to Rachel's, him wishing that he could tell her what she wanted to hear. "You know that when I - when I got in my accident that I got a felony for how much heroin I had with me? I - I have a fucking felony now. And now I don't even have school either. I just - I have nothing and I can't get a job anywhere and I just - I don't know how to fix this. You're the first good thing that's happened to me since our fight but I don't want you to waste your time with me, Rachel. I'm not worth it a-and I don't want to hurt you again." Finn let out a shaky breath as he looked at her, knowing that there really no words that could accurately describe how much he felt towards her. "I should have gone with you to the formal and asked you...asked you to be with me like I planned," he whispered, his voice trailing off towards the end of his sentence as he felt his face flush slightly.

Rachel knew that Finn royally fucked his life up. She knew that there wasn't much he could do to turn around from this, but he had to think of something. He had to find some way to figure out to bounce back from this point. Obviously, things weren't going to be easy, but he had to work through this. He had to do something to turn his life around. "Three weeks is longer than I've seen you clean for, Finn. That's a start. If you're using again, you can still... you can get clean again. If you did it before with basically no support system, you can do it with help. I know you can," She breathed out softly, her looking at him as he finished speaking. She wanted him more than anything to figure things out and to start over. She wanted him to get better because she knew how good that he could have things. "I'm gonna have some frat brothers kill Kevin, if that's okay with you," She said, trying to lighten the mood but seriously failing. It wasn't something to kid about, but she really wanted to ruin Kevin's life for doing this to Finn. She stayed quiet for a moment, looking down at the floor. She really didn't know what to say to make him feel better because he was so down on himself. "I'm not wasting my time with you, Finn. Don't- don't say that. I don't think that," She whispered as she looked at him. As he continued to speak, she opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it. She just stared at him for a moment, biting down on her bottom lip for a moment. "You were going to?" She asked softly, looking at him and feeling her heart swell in her chest. "It was going to be a good night," She said as she looked at him, offering him a small smile, her hand moving to rub his leg gently. "I think that if you didn't ask, I would have asked so... it would have been a big change for us. I was just... I was so mad at you for saying you couldn't go. Because I knew that things would have been so much different that night. We go through this shit all of the time, Finn. We're fine and we're enjoying each other and then the next minute we're at each other's throats. I know it's not really you and it's the part of you that's controlled by the shit you're putting into your body, but I just- I hate this cycle we go through. If this would have never happened to you, just... imagine where we'd be, you know? If we never fought after we first met and just were together all of the time. I mean, we were practically together, anyway. I wasn't fucking anyone else but you, anyway. Whatever we had was enough. Chloe that I was crazy, but she also fell in love with your friend the first night they met, practically."

Finn felt completely torn on so many levels when it came to his addiction. A part of him wanted to get clean so badly while another part of him felt that there was no point. Finally he was starting to understand what it meant when people said that addiction was a disease because he genuinely felt as though he had no control over himself when it came to getting high. When he told her that he was going to ask her out after the formal, he could see the shock in her eyes and he knew that he truly had ruined something that could have been so, so good for him. For them. "Yeah. I was going to," he said softly, him managing a small smile in return to her as she rubbed his leg gently. "It would have been a big change for sure. I haven't had a girlfriend since my senior year of high school. But I know that we go through this and I know that it's because of me. Because of... of everything that's fucked up in my head." Finn looked at Rachel with sadness in his gaze and he knew that more than anything he just wanted to be able to fix everything. His life was so fucked up and he didn't want to drag Rachel down with him. "We were practically together," he said softly. "I've had feelings for you for a long time, Rach," he admitted as he looked into her eyes. "And I - I know I should have just told you but I just... I fell apart and I don't even know how it happened. I just - drugs have always been fun for me, you know? I did coke at parties and drank and it was just... it was just fun. I could still get by. But then I just - I wanted a new high and ever since I felt it... I can't stop. It's like there's this voice in the back of my head telling me that I need to get high. And now that everything's falling apart it's really all I have anymore." Finn looked down sadly, him tugging at a loose thread on his sweatpants. "I feel like I'm at a point where I'm just gonna do this until I die and that's that. That's my life," he whispered, his voice shaking slightly as he kept his gaze away from hers.

Rachel hated that Finn always blamed himself for everything. Most things that happened were his fault. But it was the voice inside of him that caused him to do all of this. She knew that. He needed help and he needed someone or something to motivate him to get better. He needed some kind of path to follow to get better. She had started following the same path as him until she just couldn't take it anymore and Finn just kept spiraling because he didn't know when to stop. "Yeah. We were practically together. If we were, we had like five million breakups in the span of a few months so we're pretty fucked up," She said with a sad smile. Looking down, she sighed, running a hand through her hair. "You should have just told me, Finn. You should have told me, Finn. I-" She looked away, her shutting her eyes for a moment. "I obviously caught feelings, Finn. But you always told me that we were just fucking. That was it. You said we were friends. So who was I to think that you ever wanted more? You told me straight to my face all of the time that we were just friends with benefits and I- I don't know, Finn. I wasn't going to question it. I'd rather have a tiny piece of you than nothing at all. I would have taken any part of you I could get." she whispered as she looked at him. "You have so much potential, Finn. You have so much life to live. To hear you say that you... you'd just rather die like this? Finn, you're missing out on so much. You could be having relationships. Experiencing love. Experiencing happiness. Because you getting high like this? That's not happiness, Finn. That's you giving in to whatever demons you have in your body," She breathed out, keeping her eyes on him. "If something ever happened to you, Finn... I-" She stopped, looking away for a moment before looking up at the ceiling. "I don't- I don't know what I'd even do. You can't let yourself stay like this, Finn. I'll do anything you need me to so I can help you. I'll- I'll stay with you all of the time if it means you getting yourself together. But if you don't want to get better I can't help you. I want you to want to get better. But if you don't want that I just... I don't know what to do to change things. Because if you're at the point where you're just ready to let yourself go like this and... and you're ready to let yourself die like this? I just- you're scaring the hell out of me. I want to help you so badly but I just- I feel like I'm useless. I feel like I've already ... already helped you get to this point from bringing you to all these parties and I feel horrible that you're at this point. I wish I could have done more for you."

Finn knew he should have told Rachel how he felt but he was terrified of relationships. He was terrified of letting her down the way he already had so many times. A part of him just wanted to keep pushing her away to protect her from his roller coaster of a life. "I didn't tell you because I'd be horrible for you, Rachel. I'm not going to tell you to be with someone like me. Someone who's an addict." As she spoke, telling him that he was missing out on so much, he looked at her with sadness in his gaze. "I know it's not happiness but I don't know how to stop," he breathed out. "Because I'm not happy when I'm sober either." Finn felt his eyes well up with tears once more as she told him that she didn't know what she would do if something happened to him. A part of him hadn't realized just how much she cared about him and he felt horrible that she was so scared. He felt horrible that he was the one who had scared her. "I-It's not that I don't want to get better... I just - I don't know how, Rachel," he breathed out. "And stop, stop, please. Please don't blame yourself for anything because you had no idea what was going on with me. I got into heroin all by myself, it wasn't because of you. There was nothing you could have done. I - I hid it from you for as long as I could before I started turning into a total mess." Finn looked at her with sadness in his gaze, wishing that he knew the right words to say to fix this whole situation somehow. "Something's wrong with me," he whispered. "I've been fucked up my whole life, I mean, I knew that but I just... it's different now. It's darker now. A lot darker than it used to be." A sigh escaped his lips as he sat with Rachel, him leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes for a moment. "I used to feel normal when I was sober, you know? I could - I could do other things and just... have a life but I don't feel like I can anymore." Finn felt a knot form in his throat as he looked at Rachel, him biting down on the inside of his cheek. "I didn't want you to have feelings for me, Rachel," he whispered. "Because I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want you to... to get involved in all of this and I'm so sorry that you're even here right now. You shouldn't - you shouldn't be worrying about me or scared of losing me. You should be having fun with your friends and I should just... I should just be where I am. And I know it won't be much longer before my dad finds out I'm using again and then I'll just... I'll be on my own. And you should be back in Austin focusing on school a-and Ethan or whatever."

Rachel didn't know what to say to make Finn believe that there was more out there for him than just the heroin or whatever drugs he could get his hands on. "I don't know why you feel like you need to hide it from me. You shouldn't have. I would have been pissed at you but I would have tried to... to change things for you. I would have told you what an asshole you were for trying shit like that and I- I would have tried to change things for you. I would have tried to help," She breathed out, looking at him with a sad gaze. She wished that Finn didn't think so horribly of himself. Sure, he was in a bad place, but his entire life wasn't a mess. He could move past this and see something more. It wasn't just this for the rest of his life. Rachel didn't dare interrupt him as he spoke, knowing that he needed more than anything to just get all of this out on the table. He needed to express how he was feeling because she had a feeling that he really couldn't do this to many other people. As he told her that he didn't want her to have feelings for him, she looked away for a moment, feeling tears sting at her eyes. She wanted to speak, she did. But she let him finish before she looked over at him, tears in her eyes. "You don't get to decide that. You can't control me having feelings for you. Or getting involved. That was my choice, Finn. Mine," She said, her voice breaking. "It was my choice to spend all of those nights with you. It was my choice to invite you to that formal. It was my choice to come here. And you really think I give a shit about Ethan? He's my friend. Barely. He's a convenience friend. I'm tired of all of these fake people being catty and- and I- I finally found someone fucking... fucking real. Who didn't make me feel like some random sorority girl and he's ruining his fucking life," She managed out, her sniffling as she looked away from him for a moment, wiping at her eyes slightly and shaking her head. "You know I'm going to be worried about you even if I hadn't spoken to you for years. I would still be thinking about you. I- I... you can come back to Austin, Finn. You can... you can stay with me or something. I can help you. Please," She choked out, her looking at him. "You deserve so much more than this. You deserve to be happy and to have a life. You can be sober. I know you feel like you need it and the withdrawals would be so, so shitty. But you just-" She paused, taking in a shaky breath. "That night you helped me and you told me that you never wanted me to feel like that. To feel as bad as I did. And you fucking let yourself feel like that. You need to care about yourself more. It's not just me who would be devastated if something happened to you. Jamie. Chloe. Your parents. We'd all miss you. And we... we miss you now. Because this Finn, even though I still care about him, isn't the Finn I know. And it fucking kills me because I just- I wish I would have been there to stop it. I wish I would have known. I wish I could have done something to change all of this."

Finn just wanted to protect Rachel. He didn't want her to have feelings for him because he knew he'd just be getting her into this huge mess that was his life. He didn't want her to feel responsible for him or feel like she had to babysit him. All he wanted was for her to be happy and he knew he couldn't give that to her. Not the way that he was. As she spoke, telling him that he didn't get to decide if she had feelings for him, he looked at her brokenly. "Rachel," he breathed out as she spoke, hating that she was so heartbroken over this - over him. "Please don't cry," he whispered as he reached out to cup her cheek gently, him wiping away some of her tears with his thumb. "I don't know if I can come back. I - I have no money a-and I.. I can't put you through this, Rachel. I can't. You're not going to be the one to deal with me like this. I'm not putting that pressure on you," he told her. Finn tugged Rachel onto his lap as she spoke, him pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "You have no idea how much I care about you, Rachel," he whispered against her skin. "And I want to be with you in Austin, I do." Finn let out a shaky breath as he pulled away from her slightly so he could meet her gaze, his hand moving to brush through the ends of her hair. "I'm not healthy for you right now," he whispered. "I'm not even healthy for me right now. And I - I want you so badly. You're the only person, the only thing in this world that makes me feel good other than heroin. I mean, I guess heroin isn't even feeling good though, is it? It's feeling numb." Finn sighed as he looked into her eyes, him hating that he was doing this to her, that he was making her feel broken. "I don't want you to cry or... or be sad and you're feeling that way because of me. Could you imagine if we were together all the time, Rach? You have other shit - important shit - to worry about. I'm not letting you take care of me even though I know you want to. I know you want to help me but I'm not doing that to you, baby." Finn looked down sadly as he felt his eyes burn with tears again and he hated that he couldn't stop himself from being emotional like this. "I've been selfish for so long but I - I won't be selfish with you. I won't keep hurting you the way I have been. And I know you don't want to lose me but I just - I don't know how to stop, Rachel. When I'm sober, I dream about shooting up. All I think about most of the day is when I'm buying more heroin and I - I don't want to drag you into this mess with me when I don't know how to stop it."

Rachel honestly didn't care if she was the person to be with Finn when he needed someone. She wanted to fix him and to make him feel better. However, she understood where he was coming from. She understood that he was trying to protect her, but she didn't need to be protected. She obviously knew what she was getting herself into if she was here in his home with him. As Finn tugged her into his lap, she shut her eyes and shut them more tightly as his lips moved to her forehead. "Then be with me there," She whispered, her looking into his eyes as he pulled away from her slightly. She wanted things to just be normal, but she understood why they weren't. She understood that he wasn't himself and that he had problems that he needed to work through, but she also knew that he couldn't do it alone. He needed someone to help him get clean. "Yeah, I could imagine us being together all of the time. Finn, I don't know why you- you think tat you're such a burden. I want to help you. Don't you get that? Finn, you can't do this alone. You can't... you can't get clean alone. If you- if you want to get clean, you need someone to help you, Finn. I'm not-" She tried to figure out what to say. She really did. She wanted to say the perfect thing but she knew it wasn't possible. "You're not being selfish. Finn, I wouldn't say I wanted to help you unless I wanted to. I'm already in this mess. I'm already here. I've been here with you since day one, don't you see that?" She breathed out, looking at him and bringing a hand to his cheek. "I need you to be here. You- you have so much life to live. And you're wasting it by shooting up every single day. You could do so much more, Finn." She rubbed her thumb along his cheek and she looked into his eyes after a moment. "I don't know if you're just not used to people giving a fuck about you or what, but I give a fuck, Finn. I want to help you. I-I want to help you so much. I don't care if I have to... to sit inside with you all day? That's perfect to me. I love sitting with you and- and just relaxing with you because it makes me happy. You're sitting here worrying about my happiness when you should be worrying about your own. You need to find people that make you happy and that... that want to see you better. Your parents? Jamie? Chloe? Me? We want to see you happy. We want to see you healthy. And you can't do it alone. I don't see other people jumping at the opportunity to help you other than me and I don't want you to give up on yourself. You're so special and you- you have so much to look forward to in the future and I can't lose you because you're scared to try and be better or you're scared to be sober. You need to do this for you, though. Not just because other people want you to be better."

Finn wanted to be with Rachel. He wanted to live with her and forget the rest of the world but he wasn't stupid. He knew that him being with Rachel didn't mean he would get clean because as much as he wanted to, he also wanted that high. As destructive as heroin was, he also wanted it so badly and he felt torn in a way that he truly couldn't explain. When she told him that he couldn't get clean alone, he looked down sadly. "I know you've been here since day one, Rach. But I just - I don't know," he breathed out, his words getting caught in his throat as she moved her hand to his cheek. He wanted to believe her when she told him that he had so much life to live, that he could do so much more but he couldn't help but doubt her words. Sure, he had potential at one point in his life but now that he had fucked up so badly and was an addict? He just wasn't sure if it was possible for him to turn anything around. He'd rather be depressed and high than depressed and sober, that much he knew for sure. The last thing he wanted was to deal with the heaviness on his shoulders all day long without some kind of relief. "It's not that I...that I don't want to be sober but I've fucked up so badly, Rach. And I know that you say now that you don't mind sitting inside with me all day but I'm not doing that to you. I'm not. What, are you gonna just waste your time with me all day long instead of focusing on school and your sorority? No. I won't let you. I can't bring you down with me, Rachel. If I hurt you I - god, I'd never forgive myself." Finn looked down sadly as he held her close to him, his gaze meeting hers. "I wish I knew the perfect solution for this whole thing, you know? I want there to be some easy answer but I just - I don't know," he breathed out. "I want you so badly but I just need you to be happy a-and safe before anything else. I know you want to help me but... you taking care of me isn't good for you." A shaky breath escaped his lips before he leaned his forehead against her shoulder, him closing his eyes. "I don't know what to do - I - I don't know how to fix this," he whispered before he picked his head up and looked into her eyes, knowing that all he wanted to do was make her happy.

Rachel really didn't understand what to do to help Finn. She knew it wasn't her responsibility to help Finn, but she felt like she needed to do something to make him better. She needed him to be better. And honestly, she knew that if she didn't do anything, she wouldn't have any kind of Finn at all. She wouldn't be able to do anything with him because he wouldn't be here to do anything with if he continued down this bath. "Why does you fucking up so badly mean that you can't turn things around? Just because you fucked up doesn't mean that you can't... you can't live your life. Even if it's not the life you originally imagined, I don't understand why you feel like your life is fucking over. Because it's... it's not." She said, her looking at him and feeling completely hopeless. "Me spending time with you wouldn't be wasting my time. I would still have time for my sorority. And school. It wouldn't be me babysitting you all of the time, Finn. Because you getting sober isn't something that I can do for you. You need to do it. Someone can't do it for you, you know?" She said, her looking down for a moment before she felt him lean forward to put his head on her shoulder. She rubbed his arm slightly as she stayed close to him before he pulled away and looked into her eyes. Before she could stop herself, she leaned forward to kiss him, her hand at his cheek for a moment before she pulled away and looked at him. "You need to stay away from the people that are dragging you down. You can't pick up your phone and keep picking up drugs and... and going back into this same state. Finn, I've seen you when you were sober and you were so... happy. And now you act like being sober is so horrible. And I- I know that you feel like that right now, but it'll be better. It'll be so much better once you get over the withdrawals and you just... get away. I know the school year is going to start up again, but... I don't know. Maybe we can just- do things to celebrate you being sober once you reach milestones and stuff. I just- I know that you want the drugs, Finn. But you need to find something else to want."

Finn knew that Rachel had no idea what to do for him but if he was honest, he had no idea what to do for himself either. All he wanted was to get better but he just didn't think that it was possible. He also didn't know if a part of him even wanted it. "I know that no one can do it for me but it's not that easy, Rach. It's not that easy," he breathed out. When he looked into her eyes, he knew he had never been so torn before in his life. The second she pressed her lips to his, his eyes slipped closed for a moment. They had kissed plenty of times but this one felt different. This one felt real in a way he had never felt before. As she spoke when she pulled out of the kiss, he wanted to believe what she was saying. He wanted to tell her that he could just get clean and be with her the way she wanted but he knew that things weren't going to happen that way. "I want you," he breathed out before he shifted his gaze to the floor. "I want you, Rachel. But I - it's just not that easy. I don't know how to explain it, baby, I really don't," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. "I don't want you to understand what I'm feeling because that would mean that you've been there. But I can't just stop. I - I don't want to," he breathed out. "When you saw me when I was sober, it was before I - before I got to this point. I'm not happy when I'm sober, Rachel and I know that heroin isn't good but it just - it helps me. It... it makes me feel at peace in a way I can't even explain. I know it's wrong and I know I need to get sober but I don't think I can right now. A-And that's why I can't go with you. I - I'm not going to go back with you and sit in your room depressed or high all day long. I'm not being that person to you because you can say that it won't effect you but it will." Finn looked down sadly after a moment before a sigh escaped his lips. "I'm careful though, you know? Like I - I try not to do too much. And I - I only get high in my room now so I don't crash another car. But I just... I don't think I'm ready to let it go and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he said softly before he put his head in his hands, his fingers tugging at his hair slightly.

Rachel had no idea what she was doing anymore. She felt helpless even if she knew that there wasn't anything else for her to really do. There was nothing to do at this point if he didn't want to get better. She didn't know what to say to change things but Rachel wasn't sure that he even wanted to hear anything. Rachel looked down as he spoke, her tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. A part of her wanted to leave and never look at him ever again so she could just get over it and pretend that he was never a part of her life so she could somehow have closure, but she knew that it wasnt' possible. Nothing like that was possible right now. She knew that she'd see him and she'd fall apart because she just needed him to be a part of her life. "You sound crazy, Finn," She breathed out, her shaking her head before looking off at another wall. "What kind of life is that?" She asked him before sighing and running a hand through her hair. "I just... god. I can't, Finn. If I leave here again, I just- I want to be able to say that I'm not going to think about you or worry about you but I'd just be fucking lying to your face." It was stupid, but she just felt like she wouldn't be able to start things over again. "I just- Finn. You know that you think you need this stuff, but you just- you're too deep into this right now. You're not thinking. You're letting the part of you that needs this shit think for you. And I- I know that I can't change any of that right now but... you need to see that one day. And until you do I just- I don't know what to say. I wish you would come back and... and try and start over but I understand that you can't. And I just- I'm trying to understand it all for you, I am. And whether or not you come back, I still have to go. And I wish I could spend more time with you, but I... I feel helpless. I feel like I'm going to leave here and we're... we're just going to stop talking and- and I feel like that's still worse than what's happening right now."

Finn knew that he sounded crazy to Rachel but he was just trying to be honest with her. He didn't want to lie anymore and he knew that if he told her that he could get sober that it would be a lie. It just wasn't possible right now. He just wasn't ready. "I didn't say that it was a life. It's just... that's what's happening right now," he said softly as he pulled his head out of his hands so he could look at her. When she told him that she wanted to say that she could leave his dad's house and not think or worry about him but she couldn't, he looked down sadly. "I'm sorry," he breathed out shakily. He didn't know what she wanted him to say because he knew he couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear. He couldn't tell her that he would go with her and just get clean because it just wasn't possible for him yet. He just wasn't ready and if he was being honest, he wasn't sure if he would ever be. A part of him was just ready to give up. "I don't know what to say either," he breathed out. "I don't want to stop talking to you when you leave," he whispered. "I don't want to lose you again." Finn knew he was selfish - asking her to keep in touch with him - but he couldn't help it. He needed her in his life in some way even if they just talked on the phone every night. "I want to be what you see in me, Rachel. But I just - I need you to be patient with me. I know that I'm sick, okay? I get it. But you have to understand that my whole head is so fucked up and heroin just - helps in a way I can't explain. It shuts off the... the really fucked up things in my head and just lets me breathe. If I was clean I don't think I'd be doing any better than I am now because I just - I'm not in a good place. I'm not okay and I don't know if I ever will be but that's why I can't go with you right now. It's all too dark right now," he whispered. "Everyone keeps telling me that I-I'm going to kill myself from using heroin but I don't think anyone understands that I think about that when I'm not high - not when I am high." Finn shook his head as he tore his gaze away from Rachel's. He was a complete mess and he knew she could see it. He knew everyone could see it and a part of him wished that he could just get better and be the person that she seemed to see within him.

Rachel felt horrible that she had no answers. Honestly, if she could fix everything, she would. She would turn everything around and she would make his life so much better than it was. But she couldn't. Not like this. "I'm so sorry," She breathed out, not even sure what she was apologizing for. She felt horrible that he was dealing with everything he was and she wished that she could have somehow prevented this all from happening. "I don't want to lose you either, but I- I feel like things are so hard, Finn. I want you and I... I want something with you but I can't when you're like this. I want to. I want so badly to have something with you but I just- this isn't anything for either of us. This is just like- like we're gathering up scraps just to be able to talk to each other, let alone actually be together." She paused, looking down for a moment and sighing. "It's fine that you can't come with me right now. But when you want to get better Finn, I'm here for you. I mean that. I'm sure your other friends will want to be there for you, too." She said as she looked at him, trying to force a small smile. "I wish you would be okay, but I understand it. I'm really trying to. I am," She breathed out, her rubbing a hand over her face. "I know that you'll be okay one day. You have to be. And when you are, things will just... they'll be so amazing. Once you taste what it feels like to really be able to feel... to not just feel the drugs making you happy, you'll feel so much better. I promise. Things will be so amazing," She whispered, smiling softly at him. "I just- I know that you have so much to see yet in your life and I- I know you don't care about that right now, but one day, it's going to be so.... so good." Rachel sighed gently and she looked off in the distance. "I don't really know why I... I came here. I mean, I wanted you to come back. But I needed to see you, you know? But if you're not ready to come back yet, it's okay. It'll be okay eventually, Finn. I promise. It might not be right now, but one day soon everything will just... click into place, you know? I really hope it does for you."

Finn felt his heart break in his chest just hearing Rachel tell him that while she wanted something with him that it couldn't happen when he was the way that he was. He understood, of course, he didn't think he would be healthy for her but that didn't mean it didn't kill him inside. If he was clean, he knew that he'd be dating Rachel. They would be official and he'd be going back to Austin with her in a heartbeat. But that just wasn't possible yet. "I want to be with you one day. I want to be with you so badly," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. When she told him that she would be there for him when he wanted to get better, he nodded, him attempting to offer her a small smile in return. "I just wish I could see everything the way you do, Rach. They way you see my future... the way you see me. I just wish I had the vision that you have," he told her. "I'm happy that you came here. I just - I don't think I realized how much I needed to see you until now." Finn stayed silent for a moment as he sat with Rachel, knowing that he just wanted to figure everything out somehow. He wanted to have her so badly but he knew that he didn't deserve her - not yet, not the way that he was. "Is this... is this it once you leave?" he breathed out as he looked at her, his eyes filled with worry. "Because I - I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore, I get it. I just - I need to know if this is it. Because I want to talk to you, Rachel. I know I can't be with you right now but I just - I want to talk with you," he breathed out as he looked into her eyes. Finn tore his gaze from hers and looked down at the floor, him shaking his head as he felt the emotion building within him once more. "I fucked everything up so badly," he breathed out. "If I could - if I could have just gotten clean we would be together right now. You'd be my girlfriend a-and I'd still be in school and everything would have been fine. Everything would have been fine," he breathed out, his bottom lip shaking as he tried to hold himself together.

Rachel knew that even if she didn't exactly know why she came here that she was glad that she did. She knew that she needed to see Finn. She needed to assure herself that he was fine and that he wasn't going to fall off the face of the earth. She needed to see him and be a part of his life in some way even if it felt impossible with how he was right now. As he asked her if this was it, if once she left there'd be nothing left, she just shook her head. "No, it's not it, Finn. It's not it, I just- we can still talk, okay? We can talk to each other and I can see you every once in a while, maybe. I just- I don't think I could stop talking to you if I tried, but it's not going to be the same I guess." She knew that things weren't exactly going to be amazing for a while just... just because things are the way they are. But it's okay." Rachel just smiled sadly at his words and nodded, her bringing her hand to brush through his hair slightly as he looked down at the floor. "It's okay. When you get clean that can all happen, you know? Maybe when you get clean... we can be together. Maybe you can try to finish school. You're almost finished, you know? You don't have that much longer to go if you go back. And... and then you can try to figure things out. You need to have something to look forward to so you can see that light at the end of the tunnel." She wanted him to get better but she also didn't want to rush him and drive him further away from her. "God, I just- I know that things are bad right now. But I know how good they can be, too. A few months ago you were laughing with me when you were sober and we were hanging out and just... being normal. And now here we are. But we can get back there if you want that. But that part is on you. You need to get better on your own terms. If I pressure you, it's just... going to drive you further down this hole and I don't want that for you. I need you to be okay because you want to be okay." Rachel continued to run her hand through his hair soothingly and she sighed softly. "So I just- when I leave here today... we can still talk. We can still have whatever this is. But please just know that I... I can't be with you how I really want to be when you're like this. And I know you can't be with me like you want to, either."

Finn was relieved that Rachel wasn't going to cut him out of her life completely. He would still be able to talk to her and see her every now and then. Even though he obviously wanted more, he knew that he had to take what he could get for now while he was still using. When she ran her hand through his hair, he closed his eyes for a moment, just wanting to focus on being close to her. "I want to be with you but I don't know if I can get back into school. At least, not our school. I just - I didn't even know what I was doing in school anyway, it was probably just a massive waste of money. All I ever did was use it as a big party." Finn knew she was trying to be positive and while being with her was obviously a huge motivation, it also scared the hell out of him. What if he got clean and they were together and then he relapsed? All he would be doing was dragging her down and having her worry about him all the time and he didn't want to do that to her. He didn't want to be selfish again the way he had been with her in the past. "I do want to be okay, I just... I wish it was possible to make happen over night. I got myself into this... this massive fucking mess and I can't get out of it," he whispered softly. He liked being high and while a part of himself hated himself for it, he couldn't help it. He liked being high. He liked the escape that heroin provided him with and as much as he wanted to get better, he also didn't want to leave those feelings behind either. "I know," he whispered softly as she spoke, him meeting her gaze with sadness in his eyes. Finn closed the space between them to press a soft kiss to her lips, him leaning his forehead against hers as he pulled away, his eyes shut for a moment. When the front door swung open, his eyes shot open as he looked at Rachel nervously, him pulling away from her slightly. "Who's this?" his dad asked as he looked down at the two of them where they were sitting on the floor. Finn quickly stood up, him holding his hand out for Rachel so he could help her up. "Um, this is Rachel. She's from Austin. She uh - she's Jamie's girlfriends best friend. That's how I met her," he said quickly. His dad nodded slowly as he looked at them, his face suspicious as he eyed Rachel. "You're not one of his party friends, are you?" he asked. "She's not, dad. She's not," he said quickly. He knew his dad had good intentions and just wanted to protect him but Rachel was definitely not the problem when it came to him. "Just making sure. His mother and I are trying to keep him nice and sober and as long as you share that goal, you're more than welcome here," Christopher said before he moved further into the house. Finn bit down on his lip as he looked at Rachel nervously. He was lying to his parents about his sobriety and as wrong as he knew it was, he knew telling them would only cause more issues. "I'm gonna make dinner if you'd like to stay, Rachel."

Rachel wanted things to be different, but she didn't know what to do or what to say to make things different. At this point, it felt like it was impossible to have things be different. "I know. I know it feels like you can't get out of it, but one day... I promise. I promise that things will be different," She said, looking at him and brushing a hand through his hair for a moment. When he leaned forward to kiss her after a few moments, she kissed him back gently before he pulled away, her biting down on her bottom lip. Rachel wished that things could turn around for the better because she knew that if things were better, things would feel so amazing. But now? Now everything just felt so painful and she didn't know what to do. Everything just felt sad and depressing and while she didn't want to allow herself to feel like this, she would rather be close to Finn than not have any part of him at all. When she heard the door open, she pulled away from Finn slightly and cleared her throat as she went to grab onto Finn's hand to help herself up, standing next to him. "No, I-" She tried to butt in, her biting down on her bottom lip. "I'm definitely not one of those kids of friends. Believe me, I don't want that for him." She said as she looked at his father, her feeling her heart race in her chest. As he asked her if she was going to stay for dinner, she looked at him as he walked more into the house. "Oh, uhm... I don't want to intrude on your dinner," She said, running a hand through her hair as she looked to Finn, trying to figure out what to do or what he could say. "I really just stopped by to see Finn to make sure he was okay because I- I hadn't heard from him in a while and I was worried. I'm sorry you found me randomly in your house. It wasn't exactly how I would have liked to introduce myself," She said as she looked at him, her taking in a quick breath. "I can go, don't feel obligated to feed me. I have a decent drive back home so I shouldn't stay too long, anyway."

Finn really hadn't wanted Rachel to meet his dad, not before he actually had the chance to introduce them but he figured it was too late now. "I'm not forcing you to stay for dinner. Up to you," Christopher said as he headed into the kitchen. Finn stayed silent for a moment as he stood with Rachel before he grabbed her hand gently. "Come here for a second," he whispered as he led her towards his bedroom. He needed to talk to her before she left because he knew this was going to be it for a while. He had no car, barely any money and no way to get to Austin. Once they were in his room, he scanned the room to make sure he had put the needle away from before. "Sorry," he said as he moved to sit down on the end of his bed. "I didn't realize what time it was. I should have known that he would be home. And I'm sorry he was kind of weird. He's been trying to police my life ever since the accident and he doesn't want me around anyone that was involved in my "drug phase"," he said, him putting air quotes around his last words. "He still thinks I'm clean," he breathed out. "I just - I don't know what's going to happen when he finds out. I can't live with my mom because her boyfriend doesn't want me there around his kids so I just... this is really all I have and I can't fuck it up." Finn looked at her sadly before he shifted his gaze downwards. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. For dinner. He's just - he's gonna try and interrogate you and make sure you're not selling me drugs the whole time."

Rachel looked at Finn as he grabbed her hand, her just moving with him towards where he was leading her. Once she was pulled into his bedroom, she shut the door slightly and looked at him, seeing him go to clean up and put things away. "It's okay," She said softly as she looked at him, her moving to sit next to him on the bed. "It's really no big deal. I mean, I just- I would expect him to be really protective of you and worried about everything going on. It's a parent's instinct." She paused for a moment as she looked at him and sighed gently. "Well... when he finds out... then you call me, okay? I can figure shit out for you. I mean, talk to Jamie if something happens. We can help you. Don't go to one of the people enabling you. I mean, it's good that you're figuring out shit on your own but I just- you can't do that. I can't let you escape to some assholes who are looking for your money. You're going to kill yourself if you do that," She said, looking at him and sighing. "And I... I can stay for a little bit, maybe. Maybe while he's cooking I can talk to him. I know that he'll interrogate me or whatever, but I mean, maybe it's good for him to know that he has one normal person helping his son, I guess." She said, looking at him with a small smile. "I take it that no one's ever randomly come to your house like this, so maybe he'd feel more comfortable if he knows that I'm not helping you go back into some hole." Rachel stood up after a moment and looked at him, her tucking some hair behind her ear. "If you don't want me to stay, then I won't. I mean, like I said, I do have to get home soon... but... you know. I'll stay for you, if you want." Pausing for a moment, she took in a soft breath. "I can try and see you every once in a while, too. I mean, I'll be at school but I'll have my car. So if I'm not busy, I can try and see you, maybe."

Finn nodded as Rachel spoke. "He won't find out. But if he did, I'd tell you." When she told him that she could stay, he raised his eyebrows in surprise. He hadn't expected Rachel to want to stay, especially when he knew that this situation was incredibly awkward. He especially was surprised that she actually wanted to talk to his dad and he knew that the feelings he had for her were just growing more and more with how she was acting towards him. "I mean, honestly, no one has come here since the accident. I uh - I talked to Jamie and I know he wanted to come but he just hasn't really been able to. No one else has talked to me, really. I guess you kind of find out who your friends are when shit like this happens." Finn looked at Rachel with a small smile on his face as his gaze met hers. "I mean, I obviously want you to stay. I wish you could stay here forever," he said softly. "And I - I want to see you whenever I can. I'm here so... so whenever you want to come, I'll be here." Finn knew that he was pretty pathetic right now. No job, no school, no routine. He pretty much stayed inside all day long unless he was leaving the house to buy drugs. His dad had tried to set him up with a counselor but he hadn't found anyone that he actually wanted to talk to. "Already meeting the parents," he said softly, a small, playful smile pulling up at the corner of his lips as he looked up at her from where he was seated on the edge of his bed. "Have I mentioned how much I missed you?" he breathed out as he reached forward to take her hands in his. "This is like a dream right now."

Rachel felt horrible that a part of her wished that Finn's dad would find out. She didn't want him to find out because Finn would get kicked out, but Rachel also knew that Finn needed every single person in his life trying to get him sober. Rachel just wished that he could see how shitty of a life he had while he was high. "Yeah, I can come see you more. I mean, with the sorority we just... we have rush this semester so I'll be really busy for a while, but I'll make time to see you. I promise," She told him with a small smile, her looking at him as she stood near him by the bed. As he smiled at her from his seated location, a small grin rose on her lips. "Oh, shut up. Yeah, meeting the parents. Maybe one day I can take you over to meet my parents. They'd be thrilled to know that I actually brought someone home for them to meet. They got married right out of high school, so they always think I'm taking forever to find someone," She said with a laugh. "Plus, they haven't met any of my friends since high school." Rachel squeezed his hand that she was holding onto and she offered him a small smile. "I know how dreamy I am, but come back to earth," She said with a teasing smile, her giggling as she went to move closer to his position on the bed, moving between his legs and wrapping her arms around his neck. "I really miss you," She mumbled as she went to pull herself closer to him and hide her face in his hair for a moment before pulling away. "I'm glad I came. I'm happy that I'm able to see you before school gets crazy. If I wasn't able to see you, I'd feel so shitty."

Finn knew Rachel was going to be busy with school and her sorority. He knew that. But he was so happy that she was going to make time to see him when she had the opportunity. As she spoke, he couldn't help but laugh. "Oh yeah, they'd definitely be thrilled to meet me. I'm every parents dream for their daughter," he said jokingly. When she told him to come back to earth, he smiled softly before he shook his head. "No way. I want to stay right here," he whispered. When she stood between his legs and wrapped her arms around his neck, he slipped his arms around her waist and tugged her close to him. "I miss you too," he breathed out as she moved closer, her hiding her face in his hair. When she pulled away from him, Finn looked at her with affection in his gaze. He didn't want her to leave and he knew that he just wanted her in his arms for the rest of the night. "I'm glad you came too. I was a mess with how I treated you when we last talked and I just - I'm just happy we're okay now." Finn knew he had been so angry at himself for ruining things with the one person that mattered but he was so happy that she came back to him. He was so happy that they were okay. "I wish you could stay the night," he said softly. "I missed having you close like this. I could always sleep so easily whenever we were together."

Rachel laughed gently at his words as she stood with him, her shaking her head after a moment. "They'd love you. They always love my friends. And if you make me laugh and you make me smile, that's all they want. They want me to be happy," She said with a small smile. She was definitely glad that she was able to have somewhat of a normal day with Finn. While he wasn't an absolute mess, he was still struggling. They had spent most of the time she was here with Finn on the floor crying practically, but it was still better than most other days that she had spent with him. "Yeah, I'm happy we're okay, too. I just- I'm so happy that we're talking normally now, you know? Not just yelling at each other for the entire day, you know? We just fought all of the time before and it sucked. I mean, I know you weren't really you all of the time, so I don't blame you." Rachel ran her hand through his hair for a moment as she looked at him before her hands just draped lazily around his neck as she looked at him. "Mm, if I stayed the night, it would definitely be a really, really good night," She whispered before a small smirk on her lips. "But for now, we probably should break the tension a little bit before we start stripping, because I don't think your dad is going to be very happy with his first time meeting me being on the floor and being naked in your room. We can save that for another day," She said teasingly, a soft laugh escaping her lips. "Come on, let's go actually eat dinner with your dad. Hopefully I don't feel like I'm being interrogated by a police officer. Maybe he'll actually like me, which would be pretty good. Usually I can schmooze the parents, so I can give it another go." Rachel winked teasingly as she looked at Finn, a smile rising on her lips. She was happy for some normalcy even if things felt absolutely crazy but she really hoped that things would start making sense soon.

[hudson-finn]

Still Caught Below || Self Para

'Cause I just feel so tired Like I need something to come alive She said, "You ain't you when you're like this This ain't you, what you doing?" And I said, "That's the point" 

- drugs, Eden

Finn ran a hand through his hair as he walked into the kitchen of his apartment, him searching for something to eat. With everyone else home for the holidays, the place had turned into a massive fucking mess and he knew that Jamie was going to be pissed as fuck at him but he couldn't find the motivation to do anything about it. His gaze shifted over to the letter he had left on the small table in the kitchen and he couldn't help but sigh. Academic probation. He was on fucking academic probation and if he didn't get his shit together next semester, he was going to get kicked out of school. While he knew how serious that was, he also didn't know how he was going to fix it. He especially didn't know how the hell he was going to tell his parents about it and that was exactly why he was waiting until the very last minute to go home for Christmas. His mom was going to breakdown and his dad was going to kill him and he really just didn't want to deal with that mess until the last possible second. So, he had lied to them and told him that he was working when in reality he had gotten fired from his job a week before for showing up high. But he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.

Rachel was gone. Their whole friendship/relationship or whatever it was had fallen apart when he had not gone to her sorority's formal and he knew she was done with him. Plus, she was home for winter break and he knew he was probably the last thing on her mind. As usual, he fucked yet another thing up and he could feel himself losing it. More often than not, he was high and while heroin was cheap, he was starting to run low on funds for his addiction. Finn didn't often play the divorce card with his parents but he had asked both of them to help out with his rent even though Jamie had already covered him for the month so he at least knew he had the money coming to him. It wasn't like his parents spoke to each other so neither of them would ever find out about it.

Finn stood in the mess of a kitchen for a moment before giving up on trying to eat something, him moving back up to his room. He took a seat on the edge of his bed and started prepping his last bag of heroin and while he knew he'd get high from it, he knew it wasn't enough. "Fuck," he breathed out, knowing that he'd need to get more from his dealer. Once he had the heroin loaded up into the needle, he found a vein in his arm and injected the drug, his eyes shutting for a moment as he let the sensation take hold of him. Finn laid back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, him feeling as if he was sinking into the mattress. "I need more," he mumbled to himself, knowing that this high wasn't as nearly as strong as he needed it to be.

He wasn't sure how long he laid there for as time seemed to stop when he was high but he got up from his bed and made his way down the stairs, forgetting to even slip his shoes on as he got into his car. Finn sent a text to let his dealer know he was on his way before he drove to his house. He squinted his eyes to focus on the road as much as he could and when he somehow arrived at the house, Kevin met him at his truck. The deal was quick as Finn slipped him the money in exchange for the drugs and once his dealer disappeared back into the house, Finn knew he couldn't wait until he got home to shoot up.

It didn't take him long to have another needle full of heroin ready to go and he quickly shot it into his arm, his head drooping forward against his steering wheel once it was in his system, the needle still in his arm. He couldn't even explain how good it felt, how at peace he felt even if he knew it was wrong. But why did it even matter anymore? What was so wrong about feeling good when everything else in his life was a fucking train wreck?

Finn pulled the needle out of his arm and tossed it in the passenger seat as he started up his car and started driving home. He had driven high plenty of times but this was definitely the most high he had ever been. "Just focus," he mumbled to himself, his words slurring together as he struggled to keep his eyes open. His grip was loose on the steering wheel as he tried his best to pay attention to the road, his eyes closing over and over again as he struggled to keep them open. Before he even knew what was happening, his car slammed into a tree and the airbag went off, him still barely aware of what was going on. Both high and in a state of shock, Finn could only sit there and stare ahead before he was being dragged out of the car by a firefighter.

He blinked and seemingly instantaneously he was in a stretcher, him looking up at an EMT who was checking him over.

"His name is Finn Hudson. Found his ID in his wallet. They found heroin in the car and he probably just shot up right before he started driving."

"Damn, we keep getting more calls like this from people this young. It's fucking sad."

Finn licked his lips and tried to talk, he really did, but his voice seemed trapped in his throat. Everything seemed so heavy and he wasn't sure if it was because he was high or he was hurt from the accident but he was incredibly out of it in a way he had never experienced before. He tried to pay attention to what the EMT's were saying but before he knew it, his eyes fluttered shut as he drifted out of consciousness.

When he woke up hours later, his eyes fluttering open slowly, his heart sank into his stomach when he saw both of his parents. His mom was gripping his hand tightly as she sat beside the bed while his dad was stood off to the side, arms crossed, clearly deep in thought.

"Oh, you're awake. Oh, my baby boy," Carole cried as she hugged him tightly, he pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"I'm sorry mom," he breathed out.

"You should be sorry. Heroin, Finn? Are you fucking serious? Do you have any idea how much trouble you just got yourself into? You totaled your fucking car, you're facing a fucking felo -"

"Christopher, stop it. He just woke up."

"No, Carole. I'm not going to stop when our son is facing felony charges because he's a fucking dumbass. I love you, Finn and I'm happy you're okay but this shit isn't going to fly anymore."

Finn looked between his parents with fear in his eyes and while he knew he had fucked up, he truly didn't realize what this could mean.

"Felony?" he said softly.

"Well... your first charge is a DUI... that one's a misdemeanor and we already took care of the fines but... the drugs you had in the car were enough for a felony. It's called a... a state jail felony and we already talked to the police who said because it's a first offense that you'll only get probation," his mom said, clearly trying to remain hopeful for him.

"Yeah after you sit in jail for a week when you get out of here. Oh and your school was notified. And apparently you were on academic probation but don't worry about that, Finn, school won't be a concern for you anymore since they kicked you out," his dad said, clearly frustrated by the whole situation.

Finn laid there in shock as he looked between both his parents, his eyes filling with tears that he was trying so desperately to hold back. In a matter of hours he had just fucked up his whole life. He lost everything he had worked for and he knew there was no way he could fix this. There was no way he could fix any of it.

When he had gotten out of the hospital, his mom (in annoyance of his dad) had paid the bail for him so he didn't have to sit in jail for a week and when he went to court, he felt like his whole world was falling apart. The judge had wanted to speak to him one on one, asking him a bunch of questions about his addiction, everything he had been through and when the man had agreed to not give him probation, Finn felt like he was going to break down.

"I think you understand what you've done wrong and I think you have potential to change. I'm giving you a chance to use this as a wake up call, son. If I see you back in this courtroom, there will be heavier consequences and you will not be so lucky. I suggest you use this to get clean and figure out what you want to get out of this life."

All Finn could do was thank the judge and tell the man that he really was going to change. Because he was going to change - he was.

His parents had decided that he would stay with his dad since he lived a bit further outside of Austin - further from the people he was friends with at school and the drug connections he had. After a week at his dad's house, however, Finn started feeling trapped. Ever since his accident he had been dealing with withdrawals and he thought that they would be gone by now. It had been three weeks and they were still going, still driving him slowly insane and before he even knew what was happening, he found himself in possession of Kevin's number again. While he was now forty-five minutes outside of Austin and without a car, he called his dealer and found a new connection in his own area.

After his dad left for work, Finn made his way to a sketchy area of town where Kevin had told him to go and before he knew it, he was slipping a new dealer money and finally holding onto the drug his body needed so badly. While he knew it was wrong, while he knew he shouldn't be getting high, he just didn't care anymore. He didn't have anything going for him. He didn't have anything good in his life anymore and when he got back home and sat down in his bed, he stared at the bag of heroin in his hand.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as a few tears fell down his cheeks. He didn't know who he was apologizing to - himself or the people in his life - but he knew he was just sorry. Sorry he wasn't strong enough to stop. Sorry he wasn't a good son. And sorry he was nothing but an addict. As he shot up once again, he felt immense pleasure race through his veins and he quickly hid the needle in his bedside table before letting his body go limp on his bed. This was what he was now. This was what he did now and while he knew he could kill himself or go to jail because of it, he didn't care anymore.

Nothing mattered anymore.

[hudson-finn]

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Day to day.

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[hudson-finn]

Phone Call ☎  f/r

Rachel: Well I definitely don't ever want anything to do with you after this.

Rachel: Ugh. Fuck off. I wish I didn't. You know how I told you to delete my number when I was pissed at you the last time? I want you to do it for real. Fucking delete my number and don't ever talk to me ever again. Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't even fucking like my shit on instagram. Don't do anything. I don't want to ever look at you ever again. I thought things changed. I thought you actually gave a fuck about me but I guess I was wrong.

Finn: Good.

Finn: Fine. Bye, Rach.

[hudson-finn]

Phone Call ☎  f/r

Rachel: Oh, yeah. Okay. No big deal. This is one of the most important nights of the fucking semester for me and you ruined it. And you were the one who wanted this to be a fucking date, are you kidding me? And yeah, you're not my boyfriend. And you never will be.

Rachel: Fuck you, Finn. Literally just fuck you. I can't believe you. I hope you regret saying all of this shit. I'm not holding you to any high level. I'm expecting you to act like a decent fucking human being, but I guess that's too hard for you.

Finn: Whatever. And I don't wanna be your boyfriend anyway. I don't need a fucking relationship, ever.

Finn: You did that the other night, didn't you? And I guess it is. Just fucking leave me alone, Rach. I don't need you telling me shit I already know.

[hudson-finn]

Phone Call ☎  f/r

Rachel: I don't care about how you feel about every other fucking person there. I thought you gave a fuck about me. This night wasn't about the sorority shit. This was supposed to be about us, Finn.

Rachel: I wanted one normal night where we could see what was going on between us and you ruined it before I even put my dress on. You were the one who said you wanted this to be a date. Guess you ruined that, right? I've already given you a million chances. So many. I'm beyond done with this shit. With you.

Finn: Oh my god, you're making this into a way bigger fucking deal then it needs to be. There isn't an US, Rach. I'm not your boyfriend.

Finn: Then be done with me, I don't give a fuck. You just... you hold me to a level that I'm never gonna be on. So just... just leave me alone, then.

[hudson-finn]

Phone Call ☎  f/r

Rachel: Yes it's fucking tonight, Finn. You're actually kidding right? I texted you so many times about this. We talked about formal fucking yesterday. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Rachel: Tired isn't an excuse. What, you're fucking high off your ass, right? You didn't think it would last this long or you just didn't care about coming with me?

Finn: Nothing, I forgot. I got my days mixed up, I guess.

Finn: Oh fuck off, Rachel. It's just a stupid fucking sorority thing. It's a bunch of annoying ass rich people being fake to each other for a whole fucking night to make money. I could give a fuck. I don't get why it's such a big deal.

[hudson-finn]

Phone Call ☎  f/r

Rachel: *ringing*

Rachel: Hey. Finn? Did you get my text before or no? It's been like three hours and you haven't responded yet. I wanted to see if you wanted me to go with you to pick up your suit. I got the hotel and everything all finalized. You're gonna fucking die when you see pictures of it. It's so nice.

Finn: Hm? No, I didn't see it. Oh, it's that formal thing tonight, right? Fuck. Sorry, Rach, I'm gonna have to bail. I got um... I'm uh... I'm really tired and I just wanna chill at home. Have fun, though.