#goes SO BEYOND FUCKING HARD

[theythemmer]

‘kendrick vs drake’ ‘megan vs nicki’ nah THIS was the real rap battle of the century

[rowanisawriter]

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[squiddcakes]

You ever watch a Sam and Max video essay in the middle of your college cafeteria thinking it be something nice and short and end up bawling your eyes out in front of five people. Can someone please relate.

[crowshoots]

hrmmmm

[ryansjane]

a definitive ranking of every not me episodes

since I have done a full rewatch of not me, I decided to do what I’ve always wanted to do, rank every episode from best to “worst” (let’s be honest, there’s no bad episode lol.) this was incredibly hard to decide, but let’s go!

1. EPISODE 13

it’s really hard to choose a number one bc as you will realize I literally ADORE every single not me episode & don’t consider any of them less than perfect, but... if I had to choose, ep 13 is my number one. this comes from many reasons: first of all if you ask me which not me episode I randomly remember during my day and die over, it’s definitely this one, simply bc it’s just TOO much and TOO iconic. secondly, it’s the climax the whole show has led to, so of course it’s an extra important episode. thirdly, the emotional impact of this episode is one for the history books. not only is this entire ep hella stressful as we watch the plan become more & more unpredictable, but dan’s betrayal of the gang, man. top 5 favorite scenes of ALL TIME. I cry like a little bitch every time, like... the acting is on point from everyone & I’ve never felt a betrayal more in my soul. it’s just executed perfectly, and ep 13 for me will forever be the not me episode in front of which I’ve felt the most emotions.

2. EPISODE 9

this ep is kind of the last calm before the storm with seanwhite having the softest most soulmate-y moment ever recorded in existence & danyok finally getting together, but honestly it’s not that calm bc black comes back & we learn the truth about todd, which makes this ep one of the most important AND enjoyable of the show thanks to all the cuteness <3

3. EPISODE 8

I mean... no one can watch this ep & tell me it’s not pure perfection. we get sean opening up to white before eventually confessing his feelings & them having their first kiss, we have dan being vulnerable with yok in one of the most moving scenes from the whole series, we have sean confronting tawi... an effortless slay across the board, this episode ENDED me when it aired & it ends me every time I rewatch it, 1000/10.

4. EPISODE 6

I’ve loved this episode since it first aired, even prompting me to do a full blown essay about its significance for seanwhite’s relationship at the time. so I will try to not repeat what I already said there, but this episode is not only one of the most suspenseful like all mission episodes, but it’s executed so well and shows so much growth & change for sean & white. it functions as an arc within the whole story, of sean finally trusting white & white betraying that trust (for ultimately the greater good.) it also has some of the most impactful moments of the first half of the show imo, with the fight at the end which is conducted incredibly, and sean admitting he’s scared too during the mission. overall that episode is a masterpiece & I love it WAY too much!

5. EPISODE 14

while this is definitely a kinda rushed ending, it’s still one hell of a good episode. the emotions are here, the good ending for everyone is here while still being open-ended so you can imagine perfectly how the characters’ lives are gonna be, and there’s some of the best cinematography of the whole show as well with the scene with the gang at the back of the van & tawi looking at the protesters from the top of his tower. really great ending!

6. EPISODE 2

this episode is divided into 2 parts, the first one being the burning of tawi’s house which is not only visually stunning & incredibly impactful, but also very significant to the plot with the introduction of dan & also seeing sean be vulnerable for the first time. the second part, back to normal, is still great but less incredible than other episodes that are more well-rounded imo, which is why I’m only ranking it here.

7.  EPISODE 10

 this ep has two of the most iconic scenes from the series (though there’s like 20 iconic scenes, let’s be honest), the black beating sean up scene & white coming to sean’s rescue as he’s given up on life scene. but the whole episode slays so hard, and shows us white’s relationship with his mother as well as namo being a great friend with sean. it’s just stressful enough before the real pressure starts & has incredible entertaining value. truly a great episode!

8. EPISODE 12

on paper it’s a calmer, less crazy episode, but honestly so much shit happens; we have dan revealing the truth to sean, seanwhite officially coming together, white telling the truth to the gang, and some heart to heart between the twins. it’s such a good episode for that, and one of the chillest ones which is good bc the other ones are fucking tornados lol

9. EPISODE 7

 this ep is just SO fucking great, not only with the flag scene which is definitely the best lgbtq+ scene ever imo, but also with the beginning of danyok being in love, like... ICONIC!!! but imo, if you exclude the flag scene, it doesn’t have that many super impactful scenes. like I still love that episode but compared to others, it is definitely less crazy good. the flag scene does raise the grade of that episode significantly though bc it’s just perfect <3

10. EPISODE 11

such a great episode but compared to the others, not that much happens, which is why it’s ranked here. the toddblack & seanblack fight scenes are iconic though!!!

11. EPISODE 1

for a first episode, it’s truly great, as it lays down just enough information to get you hooked but keeps most of the mystery this series thrives on intact. also white getting dropped in a mission he knows nothing about & the reveal that it’s against tawi is truly incredible! but the reason I’m ranking it low is that it does have some slow moments, notably in the classroom scene, but also bc it’s confined by its role as a first episode: nothing much can happen compared to the later episodes no matter what.

12. EPISODE 5

sort of a filler episode but it kickstarts so much shit, including ep 6 which is a fucking masterpiece. the only annoying thing in it is all the gramblack bait that will lead to nothing, but otherwise the scenes are all super enjoyable & the real start of seanwhite & danyok’s relationships.

13. EPISODE 4

also kind of a filler episode, but a bunch of super interesting things still happen so it’s still hella enjoyable. I would say I wish the classroom scene was a bit shorter, but apart from that this episode lays the ground well for ep 5 & 6.

14. EPISODE 3

this one is also more of a filler episode, even though every scene is still super captivating. it’s the beginning of white slowky changing the way he thinks about politics, and him cutting contact with his dad & moving to the garage. the reason it’s ranked last is bc, compared to other eps, it doesn’t have the most important scenes.

[dogearedheart]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[stellacadente]

i realized how much it scares me that my mind will convince itself of even the ugliest things if i start thinking them often enough and it's... yeah. like i had a good session with my psychiatric rehabilitation therapist i think it was very useful but then at the end i got hit by this feeling of fear... like i'm so scared of myself and how low i can get

[pepprs]

my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.

[one-winged-dreams]

Heeeere comes another parental holiday

truama dump in tags

[see-arcane]

What even *is* the plot of the Beetle? Other than Racism and Bad Writing?

Well, there was some hope for a fever dreamy what-the-fuck nightmare scenario where an unemployed clerk gets turned into a brain slave by a bugperson who forces him to do naked burglary

But then it kind of went downhill after that into Masochism Land

It's not even fun garbage anymore. It's straight nuclear waste that we're wading through, hoping for another glimpse of Bare-assed Blorbo or the BEETLE (their pronunciation) for some oasis of weirdness to make the shittiness worth it. So far it's just Dick Marsh inflicting a genocidal incel on us and hoping we find him quirky. It is not working.

Do not read The Beetle. Absorb what filters out here the way you would drink still-questionable water that's come through a tormented strainer of readers who sift through Dick's awful Marsh of Misery. I guarantee whatever you piece together yourself will be 100000x more artful than the literary slog that is this hellbook. -100 out of 5 stars. Dead beetle do not open.

The one silver lining is that it is so wretched, so abysmal, so mind-breakingly rancid, that it's genuinely inspiring. Hatefully so. It's made so many people sit down, stare into eternity, and decide, rightly:

I could sneeze on my keyboard and write a better story than this. I could slam finger paints blindly on a piece of paper and draw a better story than this. I think I will.

It's a motivator. A muse sculpted out of scarab wings and shit. All the charm and power of a sign reading TOXIC WASTE DUMP BEYOND THIS POINT, sending you careening in the other direction towards art and talent and creation free of any self-judgment.

This thing outsold Dracula when the books first came out, you will think to yourself. This piece of crystallized offal, woe, racist caricatures, endless grammatical purgatories of enough dashes and commas to turn a single sentence into a filibuster. It did that. I am better than that. There's no amount of self-doubt in my heart or on this Earth that can convince me otherwise. I am free and spurred to manifest the better things that exist in my imagination. Thank you, Dick Marsh, in whatever xenophobic murder gas death pool you're marinating in in the afterlife. Thank you.

I say again, do not read The Beetle. The Beetle is not for reading. It exists for the same reason The King in Yellow play exists in Chambers' universe. To seed madness and disgust and the full antithesis of sense and taste and all that is good.

All that, and the Beetle exploring their imprisoned mind-controlled pet clerk's body while they rant about a hot politician they're obsessed with.

The Beetle does not exist to be read, but to be endured.

You may not make it through. I'm not even sure I will.

But the challenge is there.

The option to look upon the Beetlebullshit is here.

[baekuras]

Tomorrow I need to do an eye checkup in english (instead of german aka the norm) and I just checked if there are any better ways to explains things or tell people what to do etc instead of my basically direct translations and turns out

nope

it sounds exactly as stupid as i already worded it, no special words or better formed sentences around 10/10 school english is good enough (nice)

[infizero]

also his drawings. make me insane. im pretty sure ive made a post about this before a while ago but i just love looking at his silly little drawings it adds so much to his character. even after everything he's been through he's still got some humor and lightheartedness in him. and he's really good at drawing too!! so it's likely something he's been doing since he was a kid

[celepeace]

Genuinely with the death of nintendo handheld low-cost games that came with the switch, as every continuing handheld series became a switch series and thus had a price increase, a lot of their most kid-friendly franchises have become more and more inaccessible to children, especially now that nintendo has decided to follow every other major console and has started pricing new games even higher.

And now that a lot of these series are so old and thus a lot of their fanbase has aged into adulthood, a lot of these series would benefit greatly from making some of the new entries more adult-oriented. But nintendo very stubbornly wants to keep their main franchises as kid-friendly as possible, sometimes severely restricting the potential of these series by not allowing them to explore things like more complex mechanics, higher difficulty, or darker topics that past entries have brushed over in favor of keeping the age rating low. Pokemon's core battle engine has been in want of an overhaul for years now, and Legends Arceus kind of did that but not wholly, for example.

This would be pretty understandable in the interest of keeping every entry of these series accessible to all age groups, but with inflating prices, who are these games even for anymore? A normal kid with your average allowance from their parents isn't going to be able to afford tears of the kingdom or even $60 pokemon games more often than not. Back when these games were $30-$40, sure, if they saved up, but now many families have even tighter budgets than ever due to the rising cost of living. Nintendo is pricing themselves out of their target audience while simultaneously leaving their adult fans who have been with them since childhood to feel neglected in favor of exclusively making games for today's children.

Obviously nintendo will always make sales because even though they make children's games, they're still fun as hell for a person of any age, and many kids will be able to afford their games once in a while, but it does feel like they're kind of... making their games for an audience that barely exists.

[theghostofashton]

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[mantisgodsdomain]

Slightly less Dread today. We are celebrating this occasion by becoming an outdated stereotype of an old lady and struggling to knit against the will and wish of the cat attacking our fucking yarn. This does not necessarily help with anything directly, but it gives us something to focus on that isn't Dread, and that is dearly needed. If we can spare the brainspace for it, we may fire up a podcast for background noise later, or something of the like. In the current state of being, most audio things will just tip things over into being overwhelming, but if we've got enough free processing to handle this soon, we can probably listen to something. Not out of the woods yet, but if we can continue to grapple things back under control, we can probably get somewhere.

[bandgie]

Just Once - Say Yes

werewolf!Chan x fem!reader

warnings! MDNI 18+, biting, very slight blood mentions, PIV, no protection, rut, knotting, fingering, nipple play, reader says it hurts once, breeding mentions, monsterfucking? (I could have done more)

notes! you know im down bad when I get wet from just seeing images of chan like what the fuck?

2.5k words

Chan knows he’s not supposed to be here, yet, that’s exactly where he is. It’s almost as if he’s not in control of his body and in a way he’s not. Your scent fills his nose even through the shut door of your bedroom. You’re sleeping, he figures. He can hear your steady, slow breaths and the gentle snores. 

His feet are planted, head resting on the wooden door as he groans. Chan wants so desperately to wake you up. To softly knock on your door until you answer in the dead of the night. Maybe seeing you will satiate his thirst. Just a glance at your figure can help him - it will be enough, but he’s not thinking rationally right now. He can’t. Not when his rut is at an all-time high. Chan is on top of his suppressors, but his breeding period and the full moon makes for an unbearable combo. 

He knows you will answer no matter how late it is. Chan can easily imagine you opening the door, dazed and confused. He would tell you he’s having a hard time by himself, tell you that he desperately needs your help.

Or maybe he wouldn’t say anything at all. He could just grab your plush hips and pull you into a kiss. Maybe you’d mumble sleepy questions, squeak when his hands find the fat of your ass, but you’d let him. He knows you would. 

That’s why he has to leave. Now. His cock throbs just thinking about how pliant you are for him. He tells himself that he’ll be satisfied with his hand or his fleshight which makes a shitty substitute. Chan knows breeding a human during such an intense time would be too much, too rough for them. As much as his body and wolf beg for you, that sliver of humanity is intact.

So he whines, quiet and high. Chan wills his legs to move, stepping back until he’s no longer pressed against your door. The floorboards creak under his feet with every step. He swears they’re telling him to go back, to bang on your door and pump you until he’s sure you’re knocked up. He really has lost it, convinced that the wood beneath is telling him to screw you.

Unbelievable. 

He’s too busy laughing and fighting with himself to hear you slip out of bed. Chan misses your quiet feet treading to your bedroom door, slowly opening it as you adjust your eyes in the dark. 

“Channie?”

The floorboards must be cursed to sound like you or maybe his rut is just that bad. He tried to brush off your call as him going insane, but the hair on his neck stands and the smell of you is so much stronger. Chan doesn’t want to turn around for your sake. His composure will break and he doesn’t want to imagine what you look like right now. 

“What are you doing out here?” You sound so tired barely coming out of your slumber. Chan doesn’t sense any fear from you, not even worry. You’re far too sleepy to feel anything beyond confusion. The trust you have for your lover, even if he is half beast, is endearing. It makes his heart swell and his stomach turn. He can’t tell if your love for him is naive or pure. Perhaps both.

He’s going to tell you that he’s okay. He just had a bad dream and needed to walk around the house for a bit. It’s not uncommon to see your boyfriend wandering the house late at night; you know how difficult it is for him to sleep. Chan was going to tell you, but he felt your hand wrap around his bicep. You gently tug him until he faces you and what a mistake that is. You’re dressed in a shirt much too big for you, his shirt. It barely goes past your ass and your pebbled nipples poke through the fabric. Your eyes are squinted, lips swollen from sleep. Chan’s eyes are captivated by your human beauty when you say, “Channie, is everything okay?”

No, everything is not okay. Chan’s been fucking into his hand for hours pretending it’s you - he’s knotted into his toy countless times. When he did get the stupid courage to go to your door, he backed away. It’s even worse now his cock is leaking being so close to you.

You should have stayed sleeping.

His strong arms wrap around your torso, pulling you in. There’s no time to question him when Chan presses his lips against yours. Your lover is usually gentle during kisses. He takes time to cup your cheek, to tilt his head so your mouths can better align. If he was really into it, he would suck on your bottom lip only to bite it until you gasped.

He doesn’t kiss you like that now, not even in the slightest. His hands cup your ass just as he imagined. They knead and dig into your flesh, pressing you flush against his crotch. His lips are rough and messy. Your teeth clash almost animalistically and he hears you whine into the kiss. Chan can’t tell if you're whining due to the neediness from his mouth or cock. He knows you can feel his stiffness against your leg. 

Your dainty hands find his chest to gently push at it. Chan’s usually good at reading the room, knowing what to do and when to do it. But this isn’t your Channie. He can’t even feel your fists when he keeps shoving his tongue down your throat. The taste of you is addicting. All he wants to do is feel you from the inside out. To have every part of him connected with you in the most primal way. 

It’s not until you whimper again that he notices. Chan sucks harshly on your tongue before he pulls away with a string of saliva connecting your mouths. His eyes are dazed when he looks at your features. Your face is flushed and your eyes are wide. If you were still asleep before, you’re wide awake now. Chan can tell you’re trying to come up with what to say, but you already know. You can feel his boner on your thigh, you can see the glow in his eyes, and the fact that his body seems thicker, denser. Chan has only let you see him during the end of his rut. He’ll lock himself in his room for days until he’s ready to socialize. You could always hear him on the other side though. How the slick sounds of whatever he’s using are surely filled with cum. If you pressed your ear against the frame, you could hear him softly calling out your name. You wanted to see him so bad. No matter how many times you asked, Chan would turn you down. It’s too dangerous, he’d said. I don't want to hurt you.

But that Chan is nowhere to be found. Instead, you’re faced with the very wolf he’s tried so desperately to keep you from. 

“Sorry,” he already knows what trouble you’ll be in tonight. “Hurts so bad. I can’t take it.” Chan grinds his cock to show you. “Just one knot. Just one I promise.” Ah, a promise. You both know how much Chan loves keeping his promises, but this is one he doesn’t know you’re hoping he’ll break. 

He doesn’t even know why he’s asking. He doesn’t think stopping is possible at this point, but he’d try. Chan is already trying to ignore how his lips ache for yours and stop thinking about how perfectly your body molds into his, but you hold on to him tighter. 

Chan doesn’t hear you say yes with how loud his blood drums in his ears, but he does see you nod. The sultry look in your eyes will do you more harm than good. He doesn't ask twice, doesn’t think twice. He smashes his lips against yours again, walking you back to your room without caring how you trip over your own feet. 

You feel the bed on the back of your knees and Chan rips himself from the kiss. He pushes you on the mattress, quickly crawling over you as one of his hands lifts the shirt to your shoulder. You gasp at how quickly he’s moving. His hot mouth is already latched onto your nipple while his hand dips past your underwear. 

By some magic, you’re already wet. Chan only plays with your clit for seconds before dripping his thick fingers into your heat. Squeals and wet pumps fill the room. Your back arches when he bites on your nipple, tugging the bud and letting go before doing it all over again. Bruises are already forming on your breast and Chan is eager to make your other match. His slick fingers pull from your pussy to tug your underwear down instead.

Your panties hang from one ankle, legs wide as Chan settles between them. The entrance of your cunt slightly gapes from his fingers. No time is wasted as he shrugs his boxers off, eyes never leaving your core. You almost want to close your legs from his staring, but you would miss the view of his cock springing free. 

“Oh shit,” you gawk at his size. Chan’s always been thick, a fat head that always stretches you out just right. But this - this is massive. His rut must make everything bigger. Even the knot that sits at the base of his cock seems triple in size. “Channie, I don’t think- there’s no way in hell you can fit.”

But he’s already stroking himself. Your worries fall on deaf ears when his fat tip touches your clit. He moans at the feeling of your lips around him. He presses his cock so that it grinds against your flesh hard. Your mouth falls open, gaze dropping so you can see him rock against your pussy. 

You think you could cum just like this. His engorged cock provides the perfect veins and ridges for stimulation. Still, your cunt clenches pathetically around nothing. Curiosity is a dangerous thing. It makes you think about what it would feel like to have his raw cock in you. Chan can tell you’re ready for it when you start grinding back, tilting your hips so his tip catches your entrance. 

It’s going to fit - he’ll make sure. Even if you cry and beg for him to slow down, he knows your body will break for him.

And it does just that with the first intrusion. The swell of his cock easily slides into you with a few inches following before he meets the inevitable resistance of your tight cunt. You whine, hands finding purchase on the pillow beneath you. It doesn't hurt, not in the slightest, but you can feel the pressure. Your walls clench and squeeze his girth until he forces himself to pull an inch out.

“Baby, shit,” he breathes. Chan attempts to gain composure through controlled inhales and exhales. “Why are you always so tight?”

Before you can even think about answering his rhetorical question, he thrusts himself deeper. Chan follows his breath, using his airflow as a metronome. In, out, in, out. Deeper, inch by inch, before he sees his knot come to contact with your cunt. 

He’s trying, really trying not to just pin your hands down by your sides and fuck his hips into you. Instead, he keeps his hands at your thighs, but he’s not sure if that’s any better. Chan’s claws dig into your tender flesh leaving marks that nearly split your skin. It must hurt with how hard he’s gripping you but your eyes roll to the back of your head with every thrust. 

Just like he thought, you’re so good to him. Even with your pretty whines and whimpers, you’re still such a good girl for your Channie.

Such a good girl.

It gets to him: your flushed cheeks, your bouncing tits, the moans that tumble from your swollen lips, and how your hands have moved from the pillow to try and grasp onto him instead. You must want more, he reasons. You must with the cream he sees coating his length every time he pulls out. You must with how you’re chanting his name, nearly sobbing it. 

You must with how you make his knot ache, begging to already shove its way inside you and spill. 

Chan can imagine it, he can taste it. It’s such a strong need that he growls, his sharp canines showing from his lips pulled back into an animalistic snarl. Saliva drips down his teeth when he thinks about biting you. Leaving marks on your neck that will only help hold you down while his knot finds its place in your womb. You hardly notice the droll seeping your tummy, too caught up with how harshly Chan is fucking into you.

You do, however, feel how his hips change pace. They get harder, sloppier as if he’s trying to shove that god-forsaken knot into you. 

“Channie!” It’s half-panicked and half-breathless. “Wait! That’s not - hng! I can’t-”

“You can,” he snarls. “And I will.”

Now you can see his teeth that clamp down so hard that his drool is tinted with pink. This is the first time you’ve seen him for what he truly is - a beast. A monster in its purest form with eyes that seem to glow, pitch-black nails that will surely leave marks for weeks, and canines you know can shred you in a second. 

Even with all of that, you know that this man - this wolf - is Channie. Your Channie.

So you don’t whine against him anymore. You don’t try to escape him when he lays his head in between your shoulder and neck to sink his teeth into. You embrace the bite, fully expecting unbearable pain, but instead, it’s blinded by the stretch of his knot in you.

Pleasure and pain intertwine, unable to separate from each other when Chan completely surrounds you. But your body reacts before your brain can. You let out a yelp and scratch your dull nails down his sculpted back. Chan moans into your neck at the feeling, shoving his hips impossibly deeper just to feel you do it again. 

“Sh-shit! Channie! Hurts…” but he doesn’t see your eyes roll to the back of your head at the feeling of his seed pumping into you. 

Chan doesn’t reply, can’t reply with how he’s pulled his teeth from you and begun licking your wounds. But he knows. His balls tense and release with every spurt of cum he gives you and you whimper with every pump. 

He’ll apologize in the morning; pamper you and make sure that you’re well rested. He’ll make sure to take care of you real good, especially with the chance of you giving him pups. 

Fuck. He can’t think like that. His cock jumps at the thought and he swears his knot swells all over again. Chan inhales your human scent, reminding him that you’re his priority no matter how much his rut makes him needy to breed. But even in his frenzy state, he doesn’t dare to tell you knotting can last up to 30 minutes.