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elliesflower · 2 years ago

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i saw you in a dream [6]

chapter 5 here

summary; you get in your head about ellie and cat.

chapter; 6/? 2.5k words

cw (per chapter); language, light angst

an; SURPRISE SHAWTY

it's my birthday but i felt like giving y'all a gift. you all make my days so special and put a smile on my face with your sweet comments and messages. i love you all with my whole heart!

find this chapter on ao3 here, i also made a spotify playlist to go with this story, listen to it here :)

“Cat,” you repeated her name, with a smile. But it felt like poison rolling off your tongue. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she smiled back, and her teeth were fucking perfect, bleached white and practically sparkling in the soft ambient lighting in the theatre. It sounded insincere, somehow.

“So, Ellie,” Cat was back to talking to Ellie as if you didn’t exist, turning away from you so that you could gaze at her super angular jawline and dreamy slick black hair as it gently brushed her shoulders. Ellie shot you a quick look that you couldn’t quite decipher—it’s not like Cat would have noticed though, she was too busy tugging at the hem of Ellie’s flannel. You quickly averted your eyes, backing away slowly, scanning the room for Dina. Wishing desperately that the earth would just open up and swallow you whole. Their conversation suddenly seemed…personal.

“I was thinking tonight I’d take you out to dinner, my treat! Your set was amazing,” she was purring. “I couldn’t have done this without you,” and if she had a tail it would be sticking straight up in the air, curling at the tip and pulling Ellie in. You glanced back at Ellie, who didn’t look at you, and instead looked down and grabbed Cat’s hand from her flannel. You turned all the way around now, swallowing the lump in your throat.

But Ellie sang your song. Your song? The two of you had hung out one time. You can’t have a song with someone after one hang out, can you? It’s a pretty popular song, and easy enough for a quick performance. Yeah. Your brain tried to piece it all together, drowning out Ellie and Cat’s voices behind you, maybe if you squeezed your eyes shut you could just pretend you were somewhere far, far away, not making a fool of yourself in front of a pretty girl you thought might like you too.

“Dude, we gotta go, my chem professor just saw me and he’s gonna rip me a new one for missing my final,” Dina appeared practically out of thin air, like a goddamn angel, and grabbed your arm, tugging harshly. You opened your eyes, blinking at her.

“Wait, you skipped your chemistry final?”

“What? It’s not like I was gonna pass anyways,” she shook her head at you like it was obvious.

“Oh. Yeah, okay, whatever,” you sounded dejected. You felt dejected. You probably looked it, too. Dina glanced behind you, presumably at whatever disgusting form of PDA was occurring between Ellie and Cat, based on the change in her expression.

“Who the fuck-”

“It doesn’t matter,” you cut her off, starting towards the door. “Let’s just go.”

It was stupid. This was stupid. Of course Ellie would end up with a person like Cat. Girls like Ellie don’t go for people like…you. People like Cat always have the upperhand—their features the pinnacle of modern beauty standards, voices like a slow dripping faucet of saccharine honey, a presence that captivates the room in an instant. There was no competing with that. They always win.

“Hey,” Dina’s voice was laced with concern, and she was by your side in an instant, matching your stride as you practically stomped towards the exit. You tried to blink away the tears that slightly clouded your vision. “What happened back there?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you said, not looking at her. You could feel her gaze piercing into the side of your head, and could envision her brows pinched together with worry.

“C’mon, just tell me. Who was that?”

“It was no one,” you grumbled, blinking rapidly now, fighting the burning behind your eyes.

“Well ‘no one’ sure had some fucking audacity to-”

“Audacity to what, Dina?” You stopped dead in your tracks, turning to face her. She looked at you with wide eyes. “I said I don’t want to talk about it.” Your tone was harsh. You felt it, as it painted Dina’s face with dispirit, the corners of her mouth turning downward slightly. Instantly, you regretted it.

“Okay. I’ll leave it,” she forced a smile, but you couldn’t say anything else, just stuck dead in your tracks as you looked at her, unmoving. Blinking. Why the fuck are you blinking so much?

“Seriously, it’s okay,” she said after a moment, but her voice sounded a little shaky, and you felt like shit. How did Ellie get into your head like this?

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” you burst, the pressure behind your eyes turning into a waterfall, spilling from your eyes as you covered them with your hands, shaking your head. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just…a lot.”

“Hey, I said it’s okay,” Dina assured, and her voice made you want to cry even harder—she was so good to you, grabbing your hands away from your face and leading you further down the hall, away from the people that were trickling out of the theater. “I’m sorry for pressuring you. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. Ever.”

“No, it’s not that,” you sniffed, letting her lead you out the main entrance. “I do want to tell you, it’s just…frustrating,” you sighed, exasperated as the cold hit your face and pricked your skin through the holes of your sweater.

“I get it,” she nodded.

“I can’t believe I thought I actually had a chance with her,” you moped, wiping the wetness from under your eyes. Dina was quiet next to you as you walked, though she looked deep in thought, watching the ground as the two of you walked. She led you all the way to a bench just outside of your dorm building without saying another word. You watched your breath turn to fog as you sat, instinctively pressing against Dina to share body heat.

You felt shameful. Both for that terrible interaction with Ellie, and for snapping at Dina. You wished you had never even gone to that open mic, that you had just said you were sick like you’d proposed to Dina a few hours before when the nerves were settling in—you supposed you should have listened to your gut.

“That was her roommate. Cat,” and yep, the name was still venomous. Dina looked at you, silently prodding you to continue. You looked down at your hands, rubbing them together in your lap.

“Apparently, they ‘go way back,’” you made air quotes. “Wednesday, when she invited me to this, she mentioned something about a toxic ex. I have a feeling it’s her. Although she kind of acts more like they’re currently together.”

Dina watched you for another moment, before turning away, looking down at her feet. She was silent for a moment, and you wanted to scream. Even Dina, the queen of advice, had nothing to say to you. Lovely.

“I’m sorry, but if Ellie doesn’t see what she could have with you then she’s fucking stupid,” she blurted suddenly, and she was no longer sad, but angry. You looked at her, and she was shaking her head, looking out into the empty courtyard.

“Dina, it’s really okay,” you said, but your voice was small and unconvincing.

“No, I’m serious,” she said. “That was fucked up. And I’m sorry.”

You looked back down at your hands.

“It’s okay,” it didn’t sound like it. “It was just a crush. I’ll get over it.” Dina kept her eyes on you, watching as you bounced your knee anxiously.

Just a crush. Hah. Okay.

“Do you want to go inside?” Dina asked after a beat. Yeah, you were fucked.

“I think I’m gonna hang out down here for a minute. I could use the fresh air,” you said quietly.

“Fresh air? Dude, it’s fucking freezing out here, you’re going to catch a cold or something,” Dina chided, before standing up. “God, you’re making me sound like a mom.”

“I’m really okay, Dee,” you tried to smile, but it felt awkward on your otherwise solemn face. “I’ll walk around a bit. I’ll be fine.” She looked at you for another moment with pursed lips, before nodding slightly.

“Turn your ringer up, yeah?”

You nodded, accepting her warm hug, gratefully. Ironically, you thought, she also kind of hugged like a mom.

You regretted not going in with her about thirty seconds into your walk. It was kind of hard to think about anything but the bitter cold stinging your cheeks—though, you supposed, that was kind of a good thing. Maybe the freeze would seep into your brain and ruin the part of your brain responsible for holding onto memory of Ellie. Kind of pathetic, huh?

“Are you out here all alone?”

You nearly stumbled over nothing, flinching when a voice startled you out of your thoughts, turning quickly to the sound.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“Ellie,” you breathed, your eyes widening, your heart rate increasing by the second. She adorned a tan Carhartt coat now, her hands stuffed in her pockets, and she looked a whole lot warmer than you felt. You swallowed thickly, unsure of what else to say. So much for forgetting about her.

“You disappeared,” she spoke for you, kicking her foot against the ground softly. Nervously.

“Yeah,” you said lamely. She nodded for a second, before looking down at her feet. You wanted to run away.

“What are you-”

“I just wanted to-”

Both of you tried to speak at the same time. You immediately crossed your arms across your chest, partially for warmth, mostly because you felt really fucking awkward.

“Uh, go ahead,” she gestured at you to continue speaking.

“Oh, I, uh- was just going to ask…uh, what you were doing. Out here,” you stammered a bit, trying to gauge her expression. Fuck, she was hard to read.

“Well, my house is that way,” she pointed behind you. “So, I gotta walk…this way…” she trailed off, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.

“Right,” you nodded, shivering slightly as a breeze swept between the two of you. You didn’t really want to hear what she was going to say.

“Are you cold?” She asked, eyes suddenly soft.

“Well I’m not exactly warm,” you quipped, but it didn’t have much weight to it. The corner of Ellie’s mouth twitched up slightly, but her face remained neutral.

“Do you want to come over?”

You felt faint. You felt like crying. You felt like saying no. You felt like saying yes. But you couldn’t say anything, so you just nodded instead.

Ellie gave you her jacket, after weak protest. It smelled like how your tent does on a warm summer night in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the stars and the peaceful whisper of wind through the trees—also like weed, and that amber aroma that seemed to be trapped in her pores.

She didn’t say a single word to you, after that. Just walked, wordlessly beside you on the familiar path to her house. You tried to regulate your breathing, tried to push aside the questions that ran through your brain like, why is Ellie here, walking me to her house when she could be having dinner with Cat? And also, where is Cat?

Ellie’s house smelled exactly as you remembered it, though, the scent was mildly soured when you suddenly remembered that Cat lived here, too. The warm air against your cold skin made you shiver slightly as you shrugged off Ellie’s coat in the entryway—of course, she was by your side in an instant, grabbing it from you before throwing it over the rack. It was still silent as the two of you kicked off your shoes, before Ellie turned to look at you.

“Do you want to go upstairs?” You weren’t sure why she was asking you. You were already shoe-less, in her entryway.

“Lead the way,” you found yourself saying. Just like the first time.

Ellie’s room still smelled the same, too. Earthy and rich, dreamy and intoxicating. You felt high already. Your brain was spinning, your heart racing, your hands slightly shaky. Ellie sat down on the edge of her bed, leaving plenty of room for you—if you ever stopped hovering near the door.

“You can sit, you know,” Ellie said after a moment, smiling softly at you. An invitation. You swallowed. What the fuck are you doing here?

But then you were sitting, next to her, just this close to touching her leg with your own. You didn’t look at her. It felt like middle school. It felt exciting. It felt so fucking confusing.

“So, I thought you were going to dinner with Cat. What happened?” Your mouth was moving before your brain could stop you, and Ellie practically flinched at your words. She regained herself quickly, though.

“Oh, I didn’t really want to go out. I’m just a little tired,” she said, pulling her legs up onto the bed and crossing them beneath her.

“If you’re tired then what am I doing here?” You asked. Her eyes widened a bit.

“Well, I mean- I’m not that tired, I just- didn’t want to go out anywhere, you know?”

No, you didn’t really.

“Yeah,” you said instead. She was getting harder to read by the second. You shrunk back a bit, drawing your legs up onto the bed and leaning against the headboard opposite of Ellie. The pause hung heavy, nearly tangible between your bodies.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, looking down at her lap. You watched a loose strand of hair fall into her face, and her nose scrunched up. You wanted to brush it away, to feel the warmth of her skin beneath your palm as you caressed her face—

“For what?” You asked, even though you kind of knew.

“For Cat,” she said quietly.

“What about her?”

“She can be kind of…a lot.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” You asked, like you were entitled to that information. Like you’d hung out more than once.

“No, she’s not.” Ellie was quick to deny, looking back up at you now. Her eyes sparkled in the soft yellow lamplight cascading upon her face. Your throat felt tight. You nodded, pulling your knees into your chest.

“She used to be.” Ah, there it is.

“And now she’s your…”

“Roommate.”

“Right.”

Just the other day, Ellie had said she knows all about toxic exes. You didn’t think that meant she literally lived with one. What are you doing here?

“She’s just my roommate, I swear,” she was insistent, leaning forward, trapping you in her gaze. You nodded again. You weren’t sure why she was repeating herself. You glanced at the clock behind her on her desk, which read 10:32pm.

“It’s getting late,” you said weakly, knowing fully well you’d be up until three am. Ellie’s face fell, just slightly.

“You just got here,” she said, though she wasn’t being much of a great host.

“You said you were tired.”

“Yeah, but I- well-” she stuttered, picking at her cuticles.

“It’s okay,” you were saying, though you didn’t know why. It didn’t feel very okay. As soon as your feet hit the ground she was standing up as well, one hand awkwardly snaking into her back pocket as she took a deep breath.

“I’ll walk you back to your dorm?” She offered.

“It’s okay. I’ll have Dina meet me somewhere.” You won’t even text her. Ellie didn’t say anything, but she nodded, giving you a smile.

It didn’t reach her eyes.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x you #ellie tlou #dina tlou #tlou pt 2 #the last of us #the last of us pt 2

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trashywormeateroffics · 2 years ago

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i hate men (natasha romanoff x female reader)

the gif is not mine!

summary: so… being hopelessly in love with your best friend and getting super drunk is not the best combination? who would’ve thought? (a bit of angst but mostly fluff)

a/n: send me natasha requests if you want to!!!!!! you can send me normal requests, or you can also send me a taylor swift song and i’ll write a natasha fic with it!

masterlist

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you hated stark parties. they were loud, messy, annoying and did you mention loud?

being an introvert was a difficult task at the avengers compound, where these sort of events were being held every two weeks.

sighing, you gulp down the last of your drink. today you chose a coke, since you didn’t want to get drunk and embarrass yourself like the others always did.

“having fun?”

“no!” you say over enthusiastically. natasha snorts and shakes her head at you from behind the bar. she looks stunning, wearing a tight black dress that hugs her body perfectly and her red hair loose and wild. she never goes heavy on the make up, you noticed. not that she needs it, she’s breathtakingly beautiful without it.

“you should at least dance to one song, maybe you’ll even enjoy it.” she says, pulling you out of your not so friendly thoughts of her.

“i refuse.”

“don’t act like a petulant child.”

“don’t act like my mother.” natasha smirks. god that smirk. “if you call yourself mommy, i’m leaving.” the redhead shrugs.

“you handed it to me on a silver platter.”

“whatever.” you roll your eyes.

“i’ll have a manhattan, please.” a man slides up next to you on a barstool. natasha nods and begins preparing his drink. you don’t fail to notice the man’s lascivious look as he stares at her. it makes your blood boil. you know she hates when men sexualize her. and, truth be told, you hate it too. maybe not always for the right reasons, but most of the time they are. natasha romanoff is the best person in the entire world. she is also your favorite person in the entire world. she’s super smart, she’s so funny you almost peed yourself an embarrassing amount of times in front of her, she’s brave, she’s so goddamn brave you sometimes wish she wasn’t so she wouldn’t put herself at risk. but that’s the thing about natasha, she does that because she cares. she cares so much about everyone, and contrary to what people would think, it’s not because she feels guilty for her past, but because she’s good. her heart is so good, so kind. and she’s strong, the strongest. you know what she went through and still, she remained good. that takes a hell of a lot strength. and yes, she’s hot. she’s so fucking hot sometimes you can’t believe she’s even real. but she’s so much more than that. she’s your best friend, and the woman that you-

“thanks, gorgeous.” the man’s voice brings you back to reality and you look at him, hoping you’re shooting lasers out of your eyes and burning him. natasha simply nods and looks at you from the corner of her eye. you know what that look means, you know what every look means. if he tries something, i’m gonna shoot him.

you purse your lips to stop yourself from laughing loudly, your anger long forgotten when she enters your line of sight.

the man clears his throat, trying to gain her attention.

“so, you from around here?”

“no.” she tells him. then, she gives him a fake smile. “if you don’t mind, i’m pretty busy.” he does not seem to take the hint, so you turn to him.

“she’s asking you to leave.”

“and who are you?”

“one of tony stark’s closest friends. you wouldn’t want to be black listed for his parties for eternity, would you?” the man widens his eyes a bit. “yeah, i thought so. now, leave.” you shoo him away with a gesture of your hand, almost dismissively and he, thank every god that exists, gets up and leaves.

“my knight in shining armor.” natasha tells you, smirking. “you saved me.” you wish she was right. you wish you had done it to save her instead of yourself. but, to be frank, you didn’t. of course you don’t want her to feel uncomfortable, but you know she can handle herself just fine. the one who couldn’t stand it was you. you are an idiot. an idiot who’s hopelessly in love with her best friend.

“sorry, i know you can defend yourself. i just-“

“you just what?” she raises an eyebrow. you know that expression. it means she’s challenging you to tell her.

“i just hate men.” for a second, she looks almost disappointed. but you probably imagined that.

“yeah.” she nods. “i’m gonna head to the ladies room.” and then she leaves.

you sigh and run your hands over your face. natasha romanoff is going to be the death of you. but oh, what a sweet death.

“when are you gonna tell her?” sam’s voice makes you lift your head up.

“tell who what?”

“tell natasha that you love her.”

“i’ve already told her that a million times.”

“no.” he shakes his head. “that you love her love her, that you wanna kiss her.” you scoff.

“never. oh and also, could you keep it quiet? what if she hears you?”

“then finally you will both admit that you’re in love with one another and stop giving each other longing glances across every single room you’re in.”

“i don’t give her longing glances.” you lie. of course you do.

“uh-huh.”

“whatever samantha. don’t care, didn’t ask. plus i don’t even know if she likes girls.”

“she likes you.”

“as a friend.”

“you are so goddamn stubborn…” he begins saying, but his voice fades into the background when you see her. your breathing stops. she’s dancing. she’s swaying her hips and smiling and she looks so fucking angelic you want to pinch yourself because, surely, this must be a dream. but then, your heart drops to your stomach. he’s touching her. he has his fucking hands on her hips as he dances behind her and she isn’t pushing him away. you feel sick to your stomach. “hey, you there?” sam waves his hand in front of you. “hey…?” he trails off. then he probably follows your line of sight because he ohs in understanding. he says your name and pity drips from it. “they’re just dancing.”

“yeah.” you say, choked up. you hate that seeing her with someone else makes your heart burn from the pain. but it does, and it hurts so much. it was the first time since you admitted to yourself that you were in love with her that you saw her with another person. a man. stupid men and their stupid hands. tears well up in your eyes, but you won’t cry. you refuse to cry. not for love. never.

“what are you doing?” sam asks you as you walk all the way around the bar and crouch under it. “don’t.” he tells you when he sees what’s in your hands. you look at him dead in the eye and gulp down the whiskey straight from the bottle.

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“woo! this is so fun!” you shout over the music. you’ve been dancing for almost an hour now and you were most definitely drunk. you don’t even notice sam and natasha calling your name.

“what are you doing? you hate drinking.” the redhead frowns.

“maybe it’s time for someone to go to bed.”

“yes, nat. go to bed.” you tell her.

“no, whiskey straight out of the bottle, i’m talking about you.” you laugh at sam’s long nickname but then you pout when you sway and almost fall to the floor. “you wanna take care of it?” he asks the spy and she nods.

“i’ll take her to bed.”

“and what will we do there?” you ask suggestively. natasha looks at you unimpressed.

“you, lay down. me, scold you.”

“are you gonna spank me?” you smirk. she swallows hard. uh oh, she’s mad. you raise your hands innocently in front of you and she rolls her eyes.

“let’s go.” you want to protest but you know better than that. begrudgingly you begin following her, but stop when the room starts to spin. natasha must notice it, because she turns around and puts her arm around your waist and your arm around her shoulders.

the walk to your room is silent, except for your giggles. you don’t really know what you’re giggling about, but she’s here so it makes sense to do so.

she helps you lay down on your bed and takes off your shoes. as she does so, you look at her. god, you love her so much. and god, you are doomed for life.

“you’re never gonna love me.” you blurt out. she looks at you and frowns.

“what?”

“you’re never gonna love me.” you tell her again, pouting. she waits until she’s tucked you in the bed to answer.

“of course i love you.”

“no.” you frown. “you don’t.”

“what are you talking about?”

“i’m so drunk.” you say out of the blue.

“come on, on your side.” you do as she says and position yourself on your side, so you don’t drown in your own vomit and die.

“you don’t want me to die.” you slur, almost asleep now.

“of course i don’t want you to die!” you open your eyes and look at her. she’s kneeling next to you on the bed and sorting out some pills for tomorrow morning. you’re most likely going to need them. she then puts them on your nightstand next to your water bottle.

“but you don’t love me.” you say again. she looks at you, frowning. you stare at her. her green eyes, so kind. her cheeks, you want to squeeze them between your fingers and call her cute. her eyebrows, so perfect. and her lips, god, her lips. they look so soft. you bet they’re warm to the touch. so kissable.

“you’re so beautiful, natty.”

she looks taken aback by that, but she quickly recovers and smiles softly.

“don’t try to sweet talk me into not being mad at you.”

“i’m not!” you protest. “you can be mad at me but you’re still the prettiest girl in the world.”

“you’re drunk.”

“and you’re beautiful.”

she says your name softly with a smile on her face.

“get some rest, detka.” her hand is softly combing through your hair.

“i love it when you call me detka. did i pronounce that right? probably not.” you mumble. she chuckles.

“you pronounced it right.”

“nat…” you say.

“what?”

“i love you.”

“i love you too.”

“no.” you pout. “don’t lie. it’s not nice.” she stops caressing your hair and frowns.

“what is it with you today? of course i love you.”

“no, nat. i love you love you.”

“i love you love you too.” she tells you.

“i love you like i wanna kiss you love you not you’re my best friend love you.” she blinks at you. for a bit she doesn’t say anything. then she briefly shakes her head and sighs.

“you’re drunk. you should get some rest.” your heart breaks. she doesn’t love you like that. you should’ve known. now you’ve ruined everything. tears begin welling up in your eyes and it isn’t long before you’re crying.

“hey, hey- don’t cry.” she tells you as she wipes your tears with her thumb.

“i told you you didn’t love me.” she says your name again and takes a deep breath.

“you’re not gonna remember this but- if you do, we’ll talk in the morning.”

and then she leaves. tonight you are crying yourself to sleep.

\\\\

you open your eyes and stretch your limbs. then, you sit up and immediately groan. the most violent headache is currently splitting your mind into two. what possessed you to drink so fucking much? oh, natasha romanoff and her stupid beautiful self. and seeing her with another man, that definitely didn’t help.

you tsk and roll your eyes.

what even happened last night after you got hammered? how did you even get up to your room? did sam bring you here? did nat? no, she was too busy with someone else.

a knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts and you tell the person to come in, and even though it comes out more as a mumble, they seem to understand, because the door opens. there, standing in all her glory, is natasha romanoff herself, accompanied by a small brown bag and a coffee, you notice after a bit.

“hey.” she greets you from the doorway.

“hi.”

“i brought you breakfast. figured you might wanna eat before taking an aspirin.”

“thank you.” you tell her and she nods awkwardly. then, she approaches you and sits down on the bed in front of you while your back is against the headboard. “did sam bring me here last night?”

“nope. i did.”

“oh… thanks natty.” she swallows and gives you a small smile that actually resembles more a wince than anything else. weird.

“so… did i do something embarrassing? please tell me i didn’t try to strip on top of a table or something.” she chuckles and shakes her head.

“you didn’t try to strip.”

“but did i do other embarrassing things?” she opens her mouth to speak but then, surprising you, she pauses and abruptly shakes her head. oh no. what did you do that is making her act so strange? you try to remember. you saw her dancing with that man and decided to get drunk. she says she was the one who brought you to your bedroom so something must’ve happened here. did you puke all over her or something? or even worse, did you admit your feelings? your eyes widen. oh no. oh no, oh no, oh no no no. that’s exactly what you did, you goddamn idiot! you remember now. you told her you loved her! you told her you wanted to kiss her! of course she’s being weird!

“nat-“

“you don’t have to say anything.” she cuts you off.

“i really wish that was the case cause i’m really fucking embarrassed but- i need to say something.”

“we all say dumb shit when we’re drunk.”

“i said the dumbest shit i could’ve ever said.” you deadpan. for a second you see a flash of hurt in her eyes, but it’s gone as soon as it appears. could it be that she- no, no, she didn’t feel that way about you.

“nat-“ she puts her hand up.

“don’t need to say anything, i’ll just forget it happened.”

“but nat-“ she says your name again, almost begging.

“please, just drop it. i get it, you didn’t mean what you said. it’s okay.” you open your mouth to say something but then you close it and frown. did she think you didn’t mean what you said? that’s why she wanted you to stop talking about it? because she wanted you to mean it?

“i-“ you look at her with wide eyes. this is it. you’re gonna tell her in the most beautiful, poetic way that you- “i hate men.” what? the redhead frowns. “i meant, i- ugh- i hate men but i especially hate them when they’re dancing with you.”

“what?” she asks now, seemingly confused.

“i saw you dancing with that guy last night. i got- ugh i’m so dumb- i got jealous. i got jealous cause i’m in love with you and… and i want to be the one who dances with you like that.” natasha does not say a word. you simply continue, because of course once you’ve started you can’t stop. “i’m so in love with you nat, i- you are literally my favorite person in the world. you are so smart and funny and kind and strong and- you can totally slap me and never talk to me again but if this is the last time we’re gonna speak i want you to know that- that i love you with my whole heart and i will always love you.” for the first time since you’ve met her, natasha romanoff is speechless. you don’t know if it’s because she’s desperately in love with you too or she’s simply thinking of different ways to kill you and get rid of your body. you really hope it’s the former. “um- could you- could you say something, please?” she blinks but still, nothing. god, you broke her. “nat- i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have-“ and she’s kissing you. natasha’s lips are on yours and you’re in heaven. or something above heaven because this is simply too perfect, too beautiful. she moves against you, softly, so softly, as if she’s afraid to hurt you. your arms are glued to your body and hers are too. almost as if you were scared to break the spell if you touched each other. the kiss is gentle, sweet, but it sends a shock through your body. you’ve never felt like that. kissing was simply not that interesting to you, but now you understand why people in romantic movies do it so often. natasha’s kiss is healing every broken bone inside your body, it’s like a cure, fixing, mending. but unfortunately, it ends all too soon. when she pulls away you let out a soft whine and she chuckles, almost making fun of you. you lay your forehead on hers and you both breathe in deeply. then, you open your eyes to find that she’s already looking at you.

“so, does this mean you love me too?”

“oh no, that was a platonic kiss.”

“natasha!” you whine and she shuts you up by placing another kiss on your lips.

“of course i love you detka. i’ve loved you for so long.”

“i wasn’t even sure if you liked girls.” you tell her as you lift your hand and caress her face.

“i wasn’t either but then…”

“then…” you raise your eyebrows.

“this beautiful girl showed up in my life and i couldn’t help but fall in love with her.” your heart takes a leap and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from grinning like a maniac.

“what an amazing girl.” you tell her.

“the best.”

“i love you.” you kiss her again. “i’m so happy i think i’m gonna vomit rainbows.” natasha lets out a laugh.

“don’t vomit on me or i’m kicking your ass.” you pout at her.

“you wouldn’t.” she looks at you, serious for a moment. then, she breaks into a smile.

“i wouldn’t.” you laugh breathily and purse your lips.

“i can’t believe i started this whole confession by saying i hate men.” the redhead laughs.

“i can’t believe you said that either.”

“hey!” her shoulders shake as she laughs. she looks so angelic when she’s happy. you sigh softly, dreamily. you might hate men, but you sure as hell don’t hate natasha romanoff.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst

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ohdorothea · 29 days ago

Text

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!

Snow On The Beach Ft More Lana lyrics

One night a few moons ago I

Saw flecks of what could've been lights

But it might just have been you

Passing by unbeknownst to me

Life is emotionally abusive

And time can't stop me quite like you did

And my flight was awful, thanks for asking

I'm unglued, thanks to you

And it's like snow at the beach

Weird, but fuckin' beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me tonight, feels impossible

But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, ah

This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen

I searched 'aurora borealis green'

I've never seen someone lit from within

Blurring out my periphery

My smile is like I won a contest

And to hide that would be so dishonest

And it's fine to fake it 'til you make it

'Til you do

'Til it's true

Now it's like snow at the beach

Weird, but fuckin' beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me tonight, feels impossible

But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, ah

I can't speak, afraid to jinx it

I, can't

I don't even dare to wish it

I, don't

But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet

Now I'm all for you like Janet

Can this be a real thing, can it?

Are we falling like snow at the beach

Weird, but fuckin' beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me tonight, feels impossible

But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, ah

It's coming down, no sound, it's all around

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, like snow, ah yeah

🫶🫶🫶

Karma ft Ice Spice lyrics

Karma is that girl like (Grah)

You're talking shit

For the hell of it

Addicted to betrayal

But you're relevant

You're terrified to look down

'Cause if you dare

You'll see the glare

Of everyone you burned just to get there

It's coming back around

And I keep my side of the street clean

You wouldn't know what I mean

'Cause karma is my boyfriend

Karma is a God

Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend

Karma's a relaxing thought

Aren't you envious that for you it's not?

Sweet like honey

Karma is a cat

Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me

Flexing like a goddamn acrobat

Me and karma vibe like that

Karma is ya checks 'boutta bounce (Damn)

Karma is a fire in ya house (Grah)

And she 'boutta pop up unannounced (Like)

And she never leaving you alone (Damn)

Watch her put ya opps on a throne (Damn)

Got you waving pretty white flags

Feenin' for that cash

Thinking it'll save ya

Now you switching up ya behavior

It's okay, baby

You ain't gotta worry, karma never gets lazy

So I keep my head up, my bread up, I won't let up (Never)

Promise that you'll never endeavor with none lesser (Ever, ever)

I be draggin' that wagon

Karma is a beauty winning that pageant (Grah)

'Cause karma is my boyfriend (Damn)

Karma is a God

Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend

Karma's a relaxing thought

Aren't you envious that for you it's not?

Sweet like honey

Karma is a cat

Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me

Flexing like a goddamn acrobat

Me and karma vibe like that (Grah)

Ask me what I learned from all those years

Ask me what I earned from all those tears

Ask me why so many fade but I'm still here

I'm still here

'Cause karma is the thunder

Rattling your ground

Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter

And karma's gonna track you down

Step by step from town to town

Sweet like justice

Karma is a queen

Karma takes all my friends to the summit (Facts)

Karma is the guy on the screen coming straight home to me

'Cause karma is my boyfriend

Karma is a God

Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend

Karma's a relaxing thought

Aren't you envious that for you it's not?

Sweet like honey

Karma is a cat

Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me

Flexing like a goddamn acrobat

Me and karma vibe like that

Karma is my boyfriend

Karma is a God

Karma is my bestie

Karma's a relaxing thought...

Karma's gonna hold you down

🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

If you’d like to send in interpretations or propaganda for a specific song you can send them to my inbox! All interpretations are welcome and let’s be open and kind in response to all interpretations <3

#tsqst

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burrrows · 2 years ago

Note

Okay I had a thought. Joe x reader fluff with the song “Until I Found You” by Stephen Sanchez.

until i found you

ask and you shall receive... more loosely inspired than completely derived from the song?? which i hope you still like :p no warnings just a fluffy lil blurb, maybe a lil smidge of angst but that's all!

A warm breeze whips your hair across your face and you don't notice it, but Joe is watching across the yard with a small smile on his face as you laugh lightly and pick the loose strands out of your lip gloss. You seem so in your element, surrounded by your mutual friends and his teammates, laughing at someone's lame punch line, cheeks flushed pink from the heat and maybe one too many champagne flutes.

He gets this strange feeling in his chest, in his stomach, like he could scream or cry or collapse in the best way – this feeling that he always get just looking at you. Like he loves you so much that it could take him apart from the inside out.

In moments like these he always takes himself back to the start of his rookie year, that one cold night with the biggest snowstorm of the season when he let the chill in the air turn him cold, too. When he'd taken your sweet little heart into his hands and squeezed a little too tight, cracked it a little under too much pressure. He remembers exactly what he said to you that night.

"Date nights and holidays will be here. You will be here. My career won't."

He didn't mean it. And you'd never known your Joe to be malicious, conniving, or to hurt anything or anyone intentionally. But his implication that your relationship, that you weren't important to him at the time felt purposeful, like he was truly trying to hurt you.

He had let you slip out of his fingers, the stupidest fumble he'd made in the entirety of his football career, in the entirety of his life. He'd let you go, but he'd quickly found out how impossible it was for him to even function knowing he wouldn't be coming home to texts and calls and your touch.

The following month he'd show up at your doorstep equipped with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and an extensive apology alongside a thought-through pitch for you to take him back, a request to let him love you again.

Letting you go then, to this day, was the stupidest decision he'd ever made, and he never let himself forget it. Especially now, watching the way you threw your head back with that smile on your face at something Hubbard said (and it couldn't have been that funny).

A firm hand comes down on his shoulder and startles him out of his thoughts, pulls him into attention at the rest of his surroundings again. He recognizes the hand as Ja'Marr's when he takes a glance, and he's handed a glass of his own.

"You already got the girl, brother. You gonna stand and watch over here like a creep or you gonna go enjoy what you got?"

Joe scoffs a laugh at his best friend, knocking back his champagne and handing the glass back to a cheeky Ja'Marr, who stalks back over to the team to snicker about how whipped their quarterback is.

You feel his arms around your waist before you feel his chest hit your back and his scent flood your senses. It's barely audible, but he lets out this little sigh, so chock full of content and comfort that your body melts into his on instinct.

He gets a whiff of your shampoo as you soften to his touch, and he feels so lovesick that he can't stop himself from turning you away from your friends to face him.

"Hey hotshot," you tease when your eyes meet his, toothy grin lighting up your face.

"Hello beautiful," he hums, leaning towards you to nudge the tip of your nose with his, hands firm on your waist as yours come to rest up on his broad shoulders.

He could let his eyes flutter closed and stand here with you, just like this, for the rest of his goddamn life. He could say fuck it to the team, fuck it to the NFL, to the entire sport of football to stand here with you.

But instead he feels you tip toe to press your lips to his and he feels his heart start to hammer in his chest when you pull him a little closer. His hands bunch up your cute little dress when he lets his grip tighten and he can feel his head swimming, thoughts getting lost as you move your lips with his.

He's ripped out of his state of grace when you detach your mouth from his, startled by a teammate, probably Ja'Marr, wolf whistling in the distance.

"Get a room!"

"Y'all gonna go at it right here?"

The boys won't stop hollering at the two of you, and you're laughing it off, this joyous little sound that Joe would almost be willing to let his team keep eliciting from you if it didn't mean he was missing out on kissing you silly.

He shoots them a pointed glare before shifting his gaze back to you, where your eyes meet and both of you soften to one another once again.

It's just a mumble, words spoken under his breath for only the two of you to hear, but the message rings as clear as if he was screaming it to the skyline, and blood rushes to your cheeks.

"You know, even if we had met twenty years later, I wouldn't haven fallen in love until I met you."

#god the pic???#why is he the most bf ever #i'm sick.#hdjsndjskxkkw #joe burrow #joe burrow blurb #joe burrow fanfic #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fluff #lyd's blurbs

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ajearthlinggg · 5 months ago

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My opinions on all Will Wood music videos

momento mori MAP: the first Will Wood related thing I saw thanks to my brother. I remember seeing it and being like "Wow this is so okay." Not really one of my fav songs but still really good animation from everybody

Mr. Capgras: (oh my god this is my end) honestly in my top 3 favorite music videos (number 2 and 1 are even more sexual 😭 the karma music video ain't shit idgaf) I have dressed as Will from this video (the outfit when he looks like an auntie) and I will NOT be posting the photos BC y'know, underage. But just it matches the song's vibe so well and is incredibly visually interesting. Will's makeup is on point (as always) and him and his band's outfits (or lack of) also manage to fit the vibe of the song perfectly. I read an interview he did about the music video and had to look up like, ten words. Someone make this man an English teacher. Anyway, amazing video. Give Mario more screen time.

Dr Sunshine: somehow WAY more uncomfortable then Mr. Capgras. Once again, Will's makeup is great. There are so many goddamn colors I don't know if I love it or if I want the video banned because of it. It's great how the video goes from a normal kinda weird WWATT video to incredibly uncomfortable and strange as soon as he goes bald. Great video. William, the cones in my eyes feel great resentment towards you.

Hand me my shovel: OMGG I PLAYED A BIT OF THIS ON PIANO AT MY PIANO LESSON AND MY MUSIC TEACHER PUT UP THE MUSIC VIDEO IN FRONT OF MY DAD AHAJSJJZJ (he luckily stopped after the intro) anyways I fucking hate this video for creating one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. 10/10. Fuck you.

Euthanasia: no. Don't even remind me. Please. *incredibly loud ugly sobbing noises*

Laplace's Angel : haha this video has so much bones that it should be called Skeleton Appreciation Day! *gets booed of stage* anyways great video. Wills outfit is so cool. You know the one. Bnoes bnones bnes. Lemmed ssee yior bneons.

Sex, drugs, and rock and roll : GUYS THIS VIDEO IS MOSTLY SATIRE PLEASEEE. watching Will throw tomatoes at himself is beautiful. 10/10 viewing experience

Love, Me Normally: First WW video I watched as a real fan of his music. Omg I love this video. He said in a YouTube comment that the rats were his girlfriend's at the time. I can just imagine the conversation "Hey can I borrow your RATS for my MUSIC VIDEO about CONFORMITY?" Also the first WW fanart I drew was of this video so that's pretty cool. Anyways I love the ghosts and the hat falls off his head like every 2 seconds go watch the video you'll see what I mean.

2econd 2ight 2eer: this used to be my fav WW song before I was a WW fan. Anyways THE MAKEUP ONSGDJAHSJ this video made me question my lesbianism like HIS EYELINER AAAAAA. But anyway once again lots of colors. Like, LOTS of colors. I already have eyesight problems William once again THE CONES IN MY EYES HATE YOU. AHSJSJKAAKA. Also thank you to this song for giving my lovely mutual his username. (Hi Syd)

Chemical Overreaction: This song and music video is my new aesthetic. That's all I have to say.

6up 5oh: I remember when my brother was obsessed with this song back in 2020 😭 HOLY SHIT I HEAR POLICE SIRENS RN THEY'RE ON TO ME DELETE THIS SONG FROM MY WATCH HISTORY RN FUCK FUCK FUCK. Ig this video is pretty good. Not one of my fav videos but its alright.

You Liked This: You even both like Subway, Eat Fresh!

Well, better than the alternative : omg the filter and artsyle is so cool. Also the Stranger Things references, the masks, the outline of the filter, it's so 2020 and it makes me sad. WHAT'S SO WRONG ABOUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I'M JUST TRYNA DO WHAT'S RIGHT BY YOU?

Tomcat disposables: please I'm gonna cry again. OH MY GOD WILL IS SO FUCKING TALENTED

Cicada days and Marsha, thankk you: not really a fan of lyrics videos. Decided to group the lyric vids together to say this.

White Noise: as somebody who's struggles with the topics this song speaks about, there really is no Will Wood song that affects me emotionally more than this one. Not Against the Kitchen Floor. Not Tomcat disposables. Hell, not even Euthanasia. This song in particular is so underappreciated and pushed aside instead of being recognised as an emotional, hard hitting, meaningful, lyrical masterpiece, and the video only adds to that. The symbolism from the excitement the people get over nothing makes so much sense after paying attention to the lyrics. Also holy shit he's bald again.

2012: the way his fans treat the topic of this song kinda is so weird. Like, he did so much drugs that he FORGOT A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR. and his fans are just like "haha funny I don't remember hehe" anyways this video for some reason is like Criminal by Fiona Apple if she took 12 edibles and believed in aliens. Not saying it's anything like that but that's just the vibes it gives me. I love Fiona and Criminal is top 2 fav music videos for me so I have no complaints 👍

Wealth and Hellness: not really a WW music video but I love this song so much and Will did an awesome fucking job directing the video. I love Human Zoo and can't wait to see if they ever will collab with Will again. Also all that conspiracy bullshit was insane.

Wealth and Hellness (censored version): Wonderful video! Perfect for my Christian family! Praise the community guidelines! 🙏🙏😇😇😇

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cyraclove · 1 year ago

Text

I have mad writer’s block with all of my wips right now so please have this drabble about Eddie going prom dress shopping with Chrissy that I couldn’t get out of my head

Eddie pops another handful of M&Ms in his mouth as he glances at his watch.

He locks eyes with the same saleswoman that’s been hovering around the dressing room for the last hour, shooting her a crunchy, chocolatey grin. Eddie chuckles to himself when she purses her lips in obvious disgust and clacks away.

He’s lost count of how many dresses Chrissy’s tried on. They might live here now, in this Dillard’s at the mall. At least there’s an Orange Julius and a Mrs. Fields nearby. Bright side.

Eddie’s still not entirely sure how he ended up at the mall watching Chrissy try on dresses. For prom. The prom that she’s going to with Jason Carver, her walking wiener of a boyfriend.

It’s probably got something to do with the fact that he’s stupidly, pathetically in love with her.

Another Blondie song comes on overhead and the hiss of the same perfume sample being sprayed for the hundredth time makes Eddie’s eye twitch.

God, he’s getting a cluster headache. He needs a cigarette, like, yesterday.

“How’s it going in there, Chris?”

There’s shuffling and the soft clink of metal hangers from behind the flimsy curtain in front of him.

“This one’s too…poofy,” Chrissy says, a frown in her voice.

“The purple one? I thought you liked that one.”

“No, this is the dark green one.”

“The dark gr—I haven’t even seen that one yet. C’mon out, lemme look at it.”

“No, it’s too poofy,” she insists. “I look like…like broccoli.”

Eddie tosses his head back with a laugh despite trying his damndest not to. He can’t see her, but he knows she’s got that little crinkle above her nose that she gets when she’s grumpy. He can hear it.

“You’ll be the most beautiful vegetable at the dance,” Eddie teases. The little grumble he gets in response tugs at his heart.

Chrissy pokes her head out from the curtain to look at him, gathering it around her chest. Eddie can see just a sliver of her bare shoulder. His stomach actually flutters.

“Eddie,” Chrissy sighs, “this is serious. If I don’t find a dress this weekend, it’ll be too late.”

Chrissy disappears into her dressing room again. Eddie hears a zipper and wishes that he was made of taffeta.

“I’m gonna try on the blue one,” Chrissy tells him. “You liked that one, right?”

“Chrissy, I like them all,” he says honestly. I like them because they’re on you, he doesn’t add.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. You’re gonna look great in whatever you pick.”

There’s a pause in the rustling of fabric. Chrissy’s face appears again, baby blues rolling above a little smile. Her cheeks are pricked with the slightest hint of pink.

“You have to say that because you’re my best friend,” she says.

Eddie looks at her a minute, his eyes on hers. The tinny Muzak from out in the mall fades away and all he can hear is his blood rushing in his ears, the thump of his heart against his ribcage.

He could just tell her. Right now, with that stuffy saleswoman glaring at them from behind the cosmetics counter.

He could tell her and then he’d get to take her to the dumb prom, and it’d be the best night of his goddamned life.

But he doesn’t.

“Go on and try the blue one on before they close the mall and we get locked in here,” he jokes. He shoots her a smile that she returns before vanishing again.

His head aches.

“I’m sorry I’m taking so long,” Chrissy apologizes. “I really appreciate you coming with me.”

“Hey, of course. Anything for you, Cunningham. You know that.”

“It’s just…I know this sounds so stupid, but I really want my ‘Wow’ moment. You know?”

Eddie’s brow furrows. “Uh, you may need to give me a definition for that one.”

“Have you seen Footloose?”

“Did you forget who you’re talking to?”

Chrissy lets out a breath of a giggle. “Well, do you know the basic plot of the movie?”

“Think so,” Eddie muses. “Jesus good, dancing bad.”

“Essentially,” Chrissy laughs. “Anyway, there’s this part at the end after they finally convince the reverend to let them have senior prom. Kevin Bacon’s character—his name’s Ren—“

“Ren, okay.”

“Yeah, and he comes to pick Ariel up—that’s Lori Singer’s character. You know Lori Singer?”

“The blonde from, uh…Fate?”

“Fame. So, he comes to pick her up for the dance and he’s walking up to her front porch and he stops when he sees her standing there,” Chrissy continues, her voice airy, dreamy.

“And then he just…looks at her. Like he can’t believe that she’s real. That’s what I want.”

There’s a twinge in Eddie’s chest.

“Chris, Carver’s an idiot if he doesn’t—“

The end of Eddie’s sentence is snuffed out when Chrissy pulls back the curtain and steps out of the dressing room. His tongue is dry and his head feels fuzzy. The air leaves his lungs entirely as he takes her in, breathtaking in blue.

The neckline kisses her collarbone, sleeves fluttering at the edges at her shoulders. The shimmery fabric slopes along the contours of her body, coasting down the curve of her waist before splaying into the skirt.

Chrissy’s teeth dig into her lower lip as the corner of her lips quirk up. She shifts from one foot to the other, the wispy silk swaying gently just above her ankles.

“Well? What about this one?”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes, his heart in his throat. “I think that’s the one.”

#please help me my brain won’t work on the things I want it to #but it’ll do this #cyraclove writes #writers on tumblr #hellcheer #fanfiction #stranger things #eddie munson #eddissy #eddie x chrissy #chrissy cunningham #hellcheer fanfic

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tightjeansjavi · 2 years ago

Text

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ: Part 12

“Hearts Don’t Break Around Here”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: this actually might have been my favorite chapter to write. It’s so beautiful ♡

Summary: just a group of friends/lovers pretending that the horrors that lay outside a white picket fence, no longer exist for a day. No apocalypse, no death, no carnage, no violence. Just good wine, full bellies, laughter and oh, love. Lots and lots of love.

~word count: 7k~

Warnings: implied age gap, established relationship, brief mentions of angst, swearing, soft! joel, he’s so sweet your teeth will hurt! joel, fluff, consumption of alcohol, nicknames, so much flirting, teasing, feelings, emotion, comforting themes, light smut, consent, consent, consent, cockwarming. (+18) minors dni!

Songs for this chapter:

“Hearts Don’t Break Around Here” by Ed Sheeran

“Second Chances” by Gregory Alan Isakov

“Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran

“From Eden” by Hozier

“Like Real People Do” by Hozier

“The Last Waltz” by Engelbert Humperdinck

“Heaven” by Niall Horan

“Somethin’ Stupid” by Nancy & Frank Sinatra

“A Man Without Love” by Engelbert Humperdinck

June 2021 : Boston QZ

“Oh my god, she has fuckin turned you into a goddamn marshmallow!” Tess was in absolute disbelief when Joel Miller sat across from her, with chipped purple nail polish on his nails.

He let out a scoff while he tried to hide his small grin. Yeah, okay maybe you had turned this grumpy man into a marshmallow. Soft, fluffy, gooey. All the things that no one would ever believe Joel Miller could actually be. “It’s just a bit of nail polish, Tess. It ain’t that big of a deal.”

The two friends sat across from each other in the community square. It was blazing out. The sun was beating down on them unforgivingly. They each had a cup of homemade hooch in front of them. Joel would have been back at the apartment with you but you had kicked him out. Not permanently, of course. Just for a few hours because as much as you loved having him there every waking moment of the day, you needed your space. Of course, your newfound lover fought you on it at first, until he reluctantly gave in. He supposed that a bit of space from each other wouldn’t do any harm.

Tess had grinned at him over the rim of her cup. It was pretty glaringly obvious that Joel had it bad for you. “Where is she anyway? I Expected you two to be tied at the hip, if you weren’t already.”

“She kicked me out.” He took a sip then before adding, “Not permanently. Think i’ve been suffocating her a bit. She wanted some space to herself. Can’t really blame her, but you know how I am.”

“You’re as stubborn as a mule Joel.”

“You’re right. Ain’t nothin gonna change that either.” He looked around for a moment and felt the sweat dripping down the back of his neck from the blazing sun. “So, what’re you doin out here Tess? You got a hot date you’re waitin for or somethin?”

When she didn’t immediately respond, he raised his brow in her direction. He could see her cheeks heating up and it sure as hell wasn’t from the sun. “Oh my god, was I right on the money with that? No fuckin way. Who is it? You gotta tell me now c’mon.” He was intrigued, and unashamedly excited for her. Tess deserved happiness just as much as he did. Although, he was still getting used to it. Feeling for someone again. Opening his heart up, piece by piece. It wasn’t easy by any means, but he’d do it a 1000 times over for you.

“Yeah, okay. I am waitin for a hot date, but before you say anything–” She had paused when she saw Beatrix approaching and Joel had turned his head to see where she was looking. Using his hand to shield his face from the sun and when he spotted Beatrix. He couldn’t help but slowly look over at Tess, a grin tugging on his lips. “Ohhh. I see now. You and Beatrix, huh? When did that happen?”

“Been happening for a while now, Miller.” Beatrix responded to his question as she stood alongside the makeshift table and looked over her girlfriend, shooting her a little wink.

“Beatrix.” He nodded and gestured to the empty seat. “Makes sense. Considerin Tess has been pretty much absent from the apartment. Y’know it’s uh–it’s nice that y’all have each other I mean–” He rubbed the back of his neck slightly.

Beatrix let out a light laugh and nudged her girl then. “Man, you weren’t kiddin when you said he’s gone completely soft. You alright there Joel? Is the sun starting to get to ya?”

He grumbled under his breath and crossed his arms over his chest. “I ain’t goin soft. Just think it’s nice y’all are happy.”

“He let her paint his nails, Bea. The man has it down bad.”

“y’know that is actually pretty fuckin sweet. You’re a lucky man, Miller.”

“Oh, you’ve got no idea.” He wanted to say more. It was on the tip of his tongue. All the ways you had made him feel. In a way, it infuriated him because this was never supposed to happen. You had shown up and wrecked all his plans, if he would even call them that. You and your smile, your ferocity, your wit. Hell, he could easily compile a list of all of your attributes. It would end up being a mile long, but he could do it. Yeah, he had it pretty bad.

The three fall into a comfortable chatter. As if they are long-time friends, meeting at the bar for a casual drink. Catching up on one another’s lives. Who’s married, how many kids do you have now? Do you still hate your job? Did you ever find love? Are you happy? Except, there is no bar. There’s the Boston Quarantine Zone, crumbling more and more each day. Crawling with FEDRA, Fireflies, infected, raiders, and cowardly men like Robert.

It’s easy to forget the hardship, violence, and death taking place just outside your window when you’ve found yourself in love. Finding one person who makes it all worth living again. Joel Miller was unashamedly in love. There was no hiding it. It was written across his weathered face, burnished between his two thick brows; melded thoughtfully through the ridges on his forehead. His hardness towards the world was slowly melting away, dripping in a puddle beside his worn boots. You made Joel Miller want to live again.

“Oh, before I forget, Frank radioed in this mornin. Said somethin about a summer solstice get-together? Guess he’s the only one makin an effort to keep track of dates and the seasons. Anyway, figured you wanna go Tess. Oh, and Beatrix. You should come along as well. If you’re lookin for a taste of hospitality.” He had lightly nudged Tess’s boot with his own and shot her a little grin.

“Summer solstice get-together? Yeah, that’s got Frank written all over it.” She looked over at Beatrix and nodded. “Yeah Bea, you should come with us. Only if you want to, that is.”

“Well, I gotta come now cause I'm pretty intrigued to see what exactly a summer solstice get-together really is. I’m all in, babe.”

Joel thought Tess and Beatrix looked good together. Genuinely he was happy for her. For them. They complimented each other nicely and it warmed his heart to see Tess smile again. A real smile, one that finally reached her eyes. He also knew that you would be over the moon that Tess had found someone. You and Tess had learned to put your differences aside. It was a phenomenon to see just how things really changed from the cold, rainy day you met Joel and Tess, 4 years ago.

The last thing you had ever expected to happen was falling for Joel Miller. The slow burn of your feelings intertwined. The intensity, confusion, resentment, forgiveness. It all went by in a blur. The record skipped, screeched, halted. The vinyl of your hearts were torn, and sewn back together. You nurtured one another through it all. You both were rough around the edges, sharp to the touch, walls miles high, impassable. You tore one another’s defenses down till it was just you two, standing in front of a mirror, looking in on yourselves. It was as clear as day that you and Joel were made for eachother, in more ways than one. Whatever soulmates were made up of, whatever the fairytales, and romance novels called falling in love, didn’t compare to how you and Joel felt for eachother. Your connection, devotion, sacrifice for one another was on a completely different plane. Love didn’t even begin to scratch the surface.

The three friends finished what was left of their drinks as the sun sky began to shift. Curfew was approaching. The different pink and orange hues were stunning against the sullen backdrop of the QZ. Joel couldn’t help but embrace Tess then. Giving her a firm hug. Much to his own surprise, he had hugged Beatrix as well. Looking over her shoulder when he caught two QZ residents giving an obvious dirty look to Tess holding Bea’s hand loosely. Joel didn’t even hesitate to stare them down. If anyone were to ever dare fuck with his friends? Well, you could imagine just what he would do.

“We’re leavin first thing in the mornin. Before the sun is up. Hope you’re not as cranky about it as I know Gwen will be.” He gave them both a slight nod before he turned on his heel, leaving the small community center and headed home, to you.

____________

The early morning hours ascended far too soon in your opinion. Despite your grumbled protests of, “five more minutes, please baby just five more.” Joel had ignored them and coaxed you awake with peppered kisses on your face and soft touches. When you didn’t immediately budge, he started tickling your sides and nearly avoided a kick to the balls when you sat up in annoyance. “Mother fucker, you really couldn’t give me 5 more damn minutes?”

“I’m sorry honey, but we gotta get dressed and go. You know I’d love to give ya 5 more minutes but I can’t. Besides, don’t you wanna see Frank? C’mon, sugar. I got coffee waitin for ya too.”

You let out a huff as he grabbed your face in his calloused palms gently. He greeted you with a soft, warm kiss and you playfully swatted at him. “Yeah yeah okay fine I’m up. What was that about coffee?”

He let out a deep chuckle when you had swatted him away and in return, he threw you one of his flannels to throw on. “That’s my pretty girl.”

“Shuddup. It’s too early for flirting.”

“Never too early. I’ll be in the kitchen waitin for ya.”

He left your shared room quietly, waiting for you in the kitchen, loading his and your gun. Once your bags were packed, and you had the steaming thermos of coffee in your grasp, you and Joel headed out.

His natural protective nature washed over him as you made your way through the alleys, and dark corners before reaching the exit point of the QZ where Bea and Tess were waiting. The hike to Bill and Franks was just as you remembered. Surrounded by lush forest while the four of you walked. Joel was leading the way of course, with you tagging by his side. Your fingers brushed against one another a few strides before he grasped your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. You were fucking holding hands and it absolutely warmed your soul. He only let go a few times to readjust his rifle over his shoulder, or if he heard something. Other than that, his palm was constantly on yours.

You arrived just outside Bill and Franks compound by late afternoon. This time, your company was expected, and before Joel even had the chance to punch the code into the metal gate, it was opening.

When you saw Frank up ahead, racing out of the house, you let go of Joel’s hand before running towards your friend that you hadn’t seen in so long. You yelled his name with pure joy radiating from your soul and when you finally met, Frank had scooped you up into his arms and spun you around.

Joel couldn’t help but smile at the exchange. You and Frank truly adored each other.

“Little Bird!” Frank exclaimed as he spun you around, hugging you tightly before he gently set you down on the ground.

“Frank! I’ve missed you!” You giggled softly when he had spun you around.

“Pssh? Me? You missed me? I was absolutely devastated when Joel told me you got sick!” He gently released you from his grasp, only to bring his arm around your shoulders as you started heading towards the house.

“I know, Joel told me, and I’m forever grateful for the medicine and tea.” You wrapped your arm around his middle then as you walked, the smile etched on your features was surely going to be permanent by the end of the day.

Joel, Tess, and Bea followed closely behind as the metal gate clinked shut behind them.

Bill was at the top of the stairs on the porch. Apron on as he was already cooking. He wasn’t a huge fan of you, not that you took it personally because he wasn’t a huge fan of anyone, except for his lover of course.

“Glad to see that you aren’t dead.” He spoke gruffly, arms across his chest.

In mock shock, you brought your hand against your chest and laughed. “No way man, you’re glad to see that I’m not dead? I can’t believe this. I’m going to have to document this exact moment!” You jokingly said.

Bill couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I sure as hell am happy you ain’t dead cause otherwise that one? He pointed to Joel. Would be 10x more insufferable than he already is.”

You leaned in with a small grin on your face and whispered, “yeah he’s pretty awful. No idea how I actually put up with him.”

You could feel Joel’s hand wrapping around your waist then pulling you back slightly. “I’m pretty awful? Hmmm…we’ll see about that honey.” He whispered.

You and Joel were the first to enter the familiar home. Making your way to one of the guests rooms for the night and as you set your bag down, pulling out your pistol and knife, setting them down on the nightstand.

Joel was grabbing you then, grasping your hips as he pulled you flush against his chest. His hand that wasn’t holding you firmly came up to your face, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “What was that about me bein pretty awful? I heard that correctly, didn’t I?” His tone was low, teasing.

You immediately brought your arms around his neck and threaded your fingers through his soft curls. “That was nothing, honey. I was just joking. You’re far from awful.”

Before he could steal a kiss, you were slipping out of his grasp like the little tease you were. You had a smirk spread across your lips as you leaned against the doorway. “C’mon, we’re not gonna spend all day up here okay? We’ll have all night for that Joel.” You shot him a wink before slipping past the door and headed back downstairs.

“Minx.” He muttered under his breath before he set down his rifle against his bag and pulled his own pistol out of his pocket and set it down next to yours. “Damn little tease.”

You had planned to take full advantage of the lasting sunlight. Bill and Franks home was surrounded by wildflowers and tall grasses. So that’s where Joel knew he could find you. Boy, were you a sight for sore eyes when he found you. Your back was splayed in the tall grass with your arms crossed behind your head and your eyes shut, blissfully. The sun was warm and inviting up until a shadow was casted over it. Now who the hell—Joel, of course.

You brought your hand up against your face as your eyes opened, shielding them from the sun as you looked up at your lover's tall frame.

“Comfortable?” He mused.

“Yeah, but can you maybe move like..I don’t know, a good inch to the left? You’re blocking my sun, cowboy.”

He chuckled and brought his arms across his chest. “Oh, I’m so sorry sugar. Did you want me to move?”

“You’re such an asshole.” You said with a light laugh as you reached your hand up to him and as soon as he grasped it, you were using all your strength to pull him down next to you.

He let out a grumble out of protest before he let you pull him down into the thick grass with a soft thud. “Was that really necessary?” He let out a grunt as he propped himself up on his elbow, looking over at you.

“It was because you were in the way of MY sun so I had to take matters into my own hands, lover.”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes as he plucked a strand of the tall grass and twirled it between his fingers. You couldn’t help but lean over, grasping his jaw in your hand, and kiss him sweetly. He wasted no time grab ahold of your hips while he maneuvered himself onto his back, coaxing you into his lap so you were straddling him.

“Joel..” you warned. Kissing him deeper because you simply couldn’t help it. His kisses were addictive.

He hummed in response bringing his hand up to the back of your head and threaded his fingers through your hair gently. “What is it honey? Just tryin to get myself comfortable.” he mumbled into your lips.

“Slick mother fucker.” You pulled back from the kiss and looked down at his smug expression while he brought his arms behind his head then. His eyebrow tilted up towards you in a suggestive manner.

“enjoyin the view?” He rasped. You looked so pretty in the sunlight.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” You reached out and lightly booped his nose before climbing off of his hips.

“You really gonna tease me all day like this? What, you tryin to drive me mad? Up a wall? Cause, it’s workin.”

You looked back at him with a small grin, shaking your head. “No, of course not. That would just be pretty awfully mean of me.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before he slowly sat up scooting over so he was close to you once more. “Can I sit out here and hold ya at least? Promise I won’t try anything funny.”

“Joel, of course you can honey, you don’t have to ask for that. It’s yours.” You watched as a grin tugged on his lips as he reached for your waist and gently pulled you back against his chest. Letting you get comfortable between his thighs.

Once you were settled, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head while his elbows rested back against the soft earth beneath his palms. He watched you curiously as you began to pluck some of the surrounding wildflowers. All different kinds. He watched as your delicate fingers weaved together the stems and he swore, he caught you humming.

While you were crafting together your flower crown, Joel couldn’t help but lean his head back slightly, his eyes closed, a relaxed expression on his face as the sun warmed his skin. He was at peace, being here with you. He must have dozed off for a few minutes because he didn’t feel your soft grasp on his bicep right away.

“Joel, honey?..” you spoke softly through the warm breeze.

“Hmm?” He mumbled softly, blinking a few times as he tilted his head forward once more and looked at the wildflower crown between your fingers. “Oh, that’s beautiful sugar. You want me to put it on you?”

You turned your head slightly so you could look at him. “I was gonna ask if I could put it on you.”

“Oh? No baby, it’ll look beautiful on you. It’ll look silly on me.”

“No it won’t, Joel. You’ll look handsome, I promise.”

How could he really say no to you? Especially when you looked so carefree, so happy. It was just a little flower crown after all. Maybe he wouldn’t end up looking silly.

“Oh, alright. Go ahead. Lay it on me” he watched as you gently lowered the flower crown on top of his soft curls. Your smile was so soft, so beautiful.

“So, how do I look? Still ruggedly handsome?”

You shook your head, brushing your fingers against his jaw gently. “No, you look beautiful Joel.”

__________

Unbeknownst to either of you, Frank had seen the moment between you two from the open kitchen window. He, of course, already had his vintage Polaroid camera at the ready as he snapped a picture. He knew you would want to always have this memory for safe keeping.

He looked over at Tess and Bea who were helping Bill prep the vegetables. “So, when did this all happen? I always had this feeling that they liked each other. I just never thought it would actually happen.”

Tess set down her knife and wiped her hands on one of the nearby towels. “She almost died this Spring. The three of us were gonna leave the QZ permanently with some other smugglers. We were set up. Robert caught wind of us and sent some of his men. Gwen shot first. I watched her go down. Saw the knife sticking out of her gut and Joel? I’ll never forget the screams he let out.”

Frank's face fell as Tess told him what had happened to you. He was in disbelief.

“She nearly bled out on our kitchen table. I had to keep him calm. There was this moment where I knew he thought he was going to lose her. She was fading and then he just grabbed her face, Frank. He’s got tears streaming down his face and he kisses her. He kissed her because he thought he’d never get the chance to do it again.”

Tess nearly had tears in her eyes from that traumatic night and when she felt Bea grasp her hand gently and give it a squeeze, she took a deep breath.

“He stitched her up, and laid with her on the couch. He literally wouldn’t leave her side. He slept on the floor next to her till she woke up. He was just so—I don’t even know how to explain it. I’ve never seen him get so distraught. I let him go that night, and it probably was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. They’re meant for eachother. I’ve never seen him so fuckin happy. I’m happy for him. I’m happy that someone broke through to him. I’ll always care about him, nothing will ever change that. She’s his person, and he’s hers.”

Frank was already grabbing a bottle of wine. He had his own tears brewing because how fucking beautiful was it to hear that two people, who despised eachother from the beginning, had found eachother. Fallen for one another, and held on tight.

“Jesus fucking Christ. I’m going to need a large glass of wine after that.” He was already unscrewing the bottle and poured himself and Tess and Bea a glass. “You found someone too. You moved on, right?” He gestured to Bea by her side.

Tess took the glass with zero hesitation and took a big sip. “Bea is quite literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like I’ve gotten a new chance. A fresh start.” She looked over at her lover, who was in disbelief and when Tess saw her tears welling, she reached over and gently wiped them away with her thumb.

“You really..you really feel about me that way?”

“Course I do.”

Frank was already raising his glass in a toast and had to gently kick Bill to grab his own glass, with a disapproving grumble.

“Here’s to good wine, full bellies, laughter with friends and of course, love. Lots and lots of love.”

Tess, Bea, Frank and Bill all clinked their glasses together.

What a sight they all were to the outside world beyond the white picket fence.

________

You and Joel were in your own little world as held you against his chest, he was still wearing the flower crown you crafted him and you were both looking up at the passing clouds, in a comfortable silence. You could hear the birds chirp, the soft breeze through the grass and the humming of buzzards.

A purple butterfly, with delicate papery wings flew above you and landed right on Joel’s nose but before he could shoo it away, you had gently grabbed his wrist then and whispered, “No, don’t. You’ll scare it baby.”

He looked afraid to move then. Staying absolutely still as you gently released your grip on his wrist. The butterfly slowly flapped its wings, revealing the different purple hues, some dark, some light. It flew from its perch on his nose, fluttering for a moment before it landed on the outside of his hand.

“Think it likes you, honey.”

Joel furrowed his brows slightly as he looked down at the delicate insect resting along his hand. Suddenly, the realization hit him. The color purple. Purple nail polish, a purple butterfly.

“Sarah.” He spoke above a whisper.

“Hi baby girl.”

You both watched as the butterfly flapped its wings once more before it flew off his hand, fluttering away.

You saw the tears well in his eyes before he even could feel them and you immediately pulled him into your arms, bringing his head against your chest while his arms draped around your middle, holding you close to him.

Neither of you spoke in those moments. You simply just held each other.

You were both torn away from your thoughts when the back door leading out to the porch opened and Frank stuck his head out and yelled. “Dinner is ready love birds! Hurry up before it gets cold!”

“I’m okay, sugar. C’mon. Let’s go and..what’s that word you like usin? Immerse ourselves with our friends.” He gave your waist a light squeeze, reassuring you that he was okay.

You answered him by gently grabbing his face in your hands, stroking his cheekbones with your thumbs, giving him a sweet, loving kiss.

His eyes fluttered shut when your lips met his and he kissed you back, holding you there for a moment before he slowly pulled away and stood to his feet, offering you his hand as he helped you up.

The six of you were comfortably sitting together. Frank spared no expense to the details of the table spread. He had brought out the finest china just for this occasion. It was, after all, the longest day of the year. What better way to celebrate, than with friends? Before you dug into your meals, Frank poured everyone a tall glass of wine and everyone toasted to love, longevity, and good times. Joel was looking right at you, a small grin on his face as he raised his glass in your direction. The only sounds that could be heard was silver lightly clinking on china. The occasional song-bird, or two. You all were enjoying the delicious food that Bill had prepared and by the end of the meal, your bellies were full.

The air was warm, peaceful and for a moment, it was all too easy for you to forget about the cordyceps, the end of the world, the loss you had endured. It was so easy when you were surrounded by friends, and your lover, who couldn’t take his eyes off of you. As more wine was poured, the laughter ensued as old stories of the past flowed past your soft lips with ease. Tess agreed that the Chicago Bean, was pretty fucking cool.

You felt so fucking loved. You could barely contain it.

When the plates were cleared, you all headed inside to help with the dishes and of course, crack open another bottle of wine. By the time that Bill had started a fire in the living room, you could already feel your cheeks getting flushed. A warm, fuzzy feeling washing over you.

Joel was at your side then, his arm lazily draped around your hip as you rested your head against his shoulder. He brought the rim of his own wine glass up to his lips and took a sip, a smile creeping over the delicate china.

Frank was already flipping through his many record albums while everyone else was getting comfortable on the two couches. He had decided on ‘A Man Without Love’ by Engelbert Humperdinck. You learned very quickly that Joel Miller was not a singer. Even a few glasses in, drunk on your love, he would not sing. Frank had pulled you up from the couch and twirled you around playfully while you both belted out the lyrics, “Every day I wake up, then I start to break up, lonely is a man without love. Every day I start out, then I cry my heart out, lonely is man without looooove!” You didn’t particularly have a grammy winning voice either but hell, you were having fun! Joel was enamored while he watched you over the rim of his glass. He loved to see you in these moments. When you let your hair down, you belly laughed, giggled and god, did you smile.

More wine was poured, more songs were played and as the sun began to set, the fire lowly crackled in the background, it was just you and Joel now. Frank had taken Tess and Bea out to the greenhouse to show the wonderful progress his plants had made. You were knackered from the singing and dancing as you plopped down next to your lover with a light giggle.

“You’re drunk, honey.” he looked over at you with a small grin.

“No, I'm happy Joel. I’m so fuckin happy. Okay, and a little drunk too. Just like a tad though.”

He leaned in, his face close to yours. “M’happy that you’re happy ‘darlin. You look beautiful. I love it when you smile. Warms me right up.” He whispered, reaching out and gently cupping your face in his warm palm.

“You’re happy too..right?”

“ m’so happy baby. You have no idea.” He admitted. This was only for you to hear. He was secretly thankful that your friends weren’t in the room. He wanted this moment to only be shared between you two.

“Good. I’m glad honey, you deserve it.”

Before he could answer, the record crackled, transitioning slowly to ‘The Last Waltz’

He surprised you then, reaching for your hand before he helped you up from the couch gently.

“Dance with me?”

“I never thought you’d ask, cowboy.” You took his hand then as he helped you up. You were a little unsteady on your feet, while his free hand was gently splayed across your lower back as he pulled you into chest, holding you as close as he physically could. Your hearts were practically intertwined as he slowly started to sway with you. Your fingers were interlocked between his other hand while you brought your freehand to his shoulder, playing with the worn fabric of his flannel gently. He dipped his head down slightly, his forehead resting against yours. His warm brown eyes, locked on yours. You continued to slowly sway, taking in this private moment as he whispered the lyrics lowly between you. His voice was warm, inviting, deep, and it settled within your bones. “I had the last waltz with you. Two lonely people together. I fell in love with you..the last waltz should last forever..”

He kissed you then. Closing the small gap between you finally. Neither of you pulled away as the record crackled, the song coming to an impending end. You continued to kiss him, tasting the sweet wine on his tongue. His breath hitching, his fingers tightening along the exposed sliver of skin of your lower back. You breathed him in, letting his kiss settle deep within your soul.

The moment had ended when you both heard someone clearing their throat. Joel had let out an annoyed grumble as he tore his lips from yours, looking over your shoulder at a smirking Frank, who was holding the game ‘Monopoly’

“Sorry to interrupt you lovebirds. Are you up for a friendly game of monopoly?”

Joel had opened his mouth to speak but before he could, you brought your finger against his lips and looked back at Frank with a sweet smile. “We would absolutely love to play.”

“Who is we–” you shot your lover a playful warning look and he returned it with a slight roll of his eyes.

“Yeah, sure we’d love to play.” He grumbled.

“Excellent!”

You slipped out of your lover's grasp, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before you grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the living room and into the kitchen.

You found out shortly after the game began, that Bill was an absolute sore loser. He was the first to be out of the game. He cursed out, throwing what was left of his money before he grabbed his gun, heading for the kitchen as he mumbled about how stupid this game really was. “Who the hell thought of inventing this stupid game? I hope they’re rolling in their grave right fuckin now!”

Everyone was trying to hide their laughter then. It was hard with the amount of wine that had been consumed already. As the game continued, Bill had returned shortly after his loss, with a fresh bottle of wine as he topped off his glass and plopped back down into his seat next to Frank. He had a grumpy look on his face, with his arms crossed against his chest. When Frank leaned over and gave him a little kiss on the cheek, his face softened for a moment.

The game continued on for hours. Frank was the next to lose. Joel had secretly slipped you a few of his extra bills under the table, shooting you a little wink as he leaned over and whispered “you’ll find a way to pay me back, sugar.” Which had you lightly swatting his arm for being the flirt that he was, but you loved it. You loved seeing Joel with his guard down, and enjoying the small joys that life had to offer. He looked so beautiful.

Bea and then Tess were the next to lose and soon it was just you and Joel, head to head. Battling to the death. Well, until one of you decides to give in. Your friends had all gone to bed a while ago. The candles on the dining room table were almost melted down completely. You weren’t even sure how much wine you had actually consumed, but by the looks of the empty bottles, you knew you had quite a lot to drink.

“Joel, baby. C’mon can you please surrender. It’s okay, you can admit that you lost like a big man.” You giggled. Your palm was resting along your chin as you looked at him, a drunk sleepy look gracing your features.

“C’mon, honey. We can finish this out. Don’t you wanna win fair and square?” He still had a half glass of wine in front of him and he couldn’t help but reach over and gently brush his thumb against your plush lower lip.

“Joel, I’m tired. Please? Let me win this my way.”

“The dirty way?”

“Nooo. The you’re gonna let me win because otherwise this game will never end, way. I think I will actually lose my mind more than I ever have if we have to keep playing.”

He leaned back against his chair, a smirk playing on his lips. “So, then go on and admit your defeat. Sooner you do, sooner we get to go to bed.”

“Who said anythin about me admitting MY defeat?”

He chuckled and reached for his wine glass, downing the rest of its contents before he set it back down. “You heard me.”

“You’re such an asshole man. Fine, I admit my defeat. If I weren’t so many glasses, excuse me, bottles in, then I would have won. I’m sure of it.”

“Mhm. You keep tellin yourself that ‘darlin.” He blew out what was left of the candles then before he pushed his chair back and slowly stood up.

“I’ll get you back for this Miller. Just you wait and see.” Your chair scraped quietly against the hardwood as you rose from your seat.

“Oh, I have no doubt in my mind that you will honey.”

You let Joel deal with the empty glasses and bottles on the table while you packed up the game, placing the board and all the pieces back into the box.

He let you go in front of him up the stairs. His hand was at your lower back, making sure you wouldn’t fall back when you nearly tripped up one of the steps with a quiet giggle.

Yeah, you were pretty drunk.

Once you were in your shared room for the night and the door softly closed, your arms were around his neck, your fingers playing with the soft strands of hair at the nape of his neck. “Baby..I’m really really drunk right now. Damn Frank and his wine but..I want you. Do you think we can?..” you whispered with a hiccup closely following.

“Honey..” he drawled, bringing his arms around you gently as he pulled you in close.

“We can’t. You’re drunk and I’ve had a bit as well. Plus, we don’t wanna wake anyone up..”

“We can be quiet.”

He gave you a look then. You and Joel did not know the definition of having a quiet fuck. It was pretty much impossible.

“Sugar, you know we can’t be quiet. Even though I wanna fuck you so bad right now honey, so fuckin bad. I gotta put my foot down, m’sorry.”

“Okay, fine. So we can’t fuck. How about..” you trailed off while your fingers slipped from his hair to his face, brushing your fingers against his strong jaw. “what if you were wrapped up in me, all night?..”

He raised his brow at your suggestion and his mouth went a little dry when he realized just exactly what your suggestion entailed.

“You want me to fall asleep, inside of you?”

“Please.” you begged. You were itching to feel him again. All of him.

“Fuck.” He whispered out. The wine was making his mind hazy and your words had him spinning.

“Please, Joel. I understand if you don’t wanna—”

“Shh. Of course I do. Fuck, of course I wanna bury myself inside of ya all goddamn night honey. You’re absolutely sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes. That’s what I really want right now Joel.”

He scooped you up into his arms in response. He carried you to the side of the bed and gently set you down before he reached for the hem of your shirt and gently started to lift it up.

“You wanna wear one of mine?” He already knew the answer.

“Always.”

He slowly lifted your shirt above your head before he reached down into his backpack that was alongside the bed and pulled out one of his spare shirts, slipping it down over your arms. Next, he gently shimmied your pants down your legs, leaning down and pressing a light kiss to your exposed hip bone.

“Can I take these off, sweetness? Or do you wanna keep ‘em on for now?” he rasped out.

“You can take them off baby, it’s fine.”

He slipped his thumb on either side of your panties before he slowly dragged the fabric over your hips, thighs and down your legs and ankles. He pressed another light kiss to your skin. This time it was your thigh.

You had reached for his flannel then and gently pushed it down his arms, tossing it to the side with your discarded clothes. He used his one hand to pull his shirt over his head, shaking his hair out a bit. Soon after, his jeans and boxers were discarded. You could feel the bed slowly dip from his weight as his arms reached around, settling comfortably around your waist as he pulled you flush against his chest.

His lips were at the shell of your ear, pressing a soft kiss just below as he whispered, “you let me know if you want me to slip out, okay? I don’t want ya to hesitate.”

You grabbed one of his hands then and brought it up to your lips, pressing a kiss to his palm before interlocking your fingers with his. “I know honey, I got you, you got me. It’s okay. Please, don’t make me beg you.”

“You got me, I got you.” He let out a puff of air against the back of your neck as he slipped his legs between yours. He let his free hand, that wasn’t grasped between your fingers, grab ahold of himself before he gently, and slowly slipped himself between your slick, warm folds.

It took every sheer ounce of willpower inside of him to not jut his hips into yours. He let out a low hiss, giving your hand a firm squeeze as he sank deeper, till he was at the hilt.

“This okay ‘darlin? Not uncomfortable or nothin?”

You felt so full at that moment. With him buried inside you like this. Holding you so close to his chest. It was perfect.

“This is perfect honey. Thank you. Are you good?” You had turned your head slightly to look over your shoulder at him.

“ m’good. This is nice. You feel amazin. So fuckin warm and tight—”

“Joel, baby. Please don’t start something that you know you can’t finish.”

He chuckled and let his head drop to the back of your neck, pressing another kiss there.

“Sorry, don’t wanna get carried away.”

“I know honey, this is torture, and at the same time, I’ve never been more content.”

“That’s one way to put it.” He chuckled.

He moved his hips just slightly as he got comfortable, sinking further into the soft mattress.

“I love you.” you whispered quietly. You were unsure if your confession was due to all the wine you consumed. Or if it was your sober thoughts, coming out in drunk words, or a mix of both.

“I love you, always.” He whispered back, tightening his hold around your waist, smiling against your soft skin when he felt your lips brush against his knuckles.

You and Joel slipped off into the dream world with ease. He stayed buried deep in your warmth, all night long. You never wanted him to leave. The closeness, intimacy, warmth you provided each-other so naturally. You wanted to keep him there forever.

How long could forever really last, when the dawn of a new day was always inevitable.

Chapter 13:

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supersources · 2 years ago

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interview with the vampire (2022): episode 5, a vile hunger for your hammering heart. tw: murder, death, abuse, violence, blood, strong language, all vampire things.

* i can't die like this!

* let my dog live.

* it's a kill list in a teenager's handwriting.

* i'm trying to think of something more fucked up than this.

* they'll scale the sides of this building, force their way inside and paint the walls with his blood.

* don't look down on them, look in the mirror.

* he's an opinionated young man, he lives to share these opinions even when they are not solicited.

* what does he taste like?

* i didn't ask that.

* you were thinking it.

* he tastes like honey and pineapple, he stuffs himself for days before he offers himself to me. would you like to sample?

* i care for him more than he cares for himself.

* stay out of my head.

* you wouldn't find the corroboration you're seeking even if you could. we burned, we buried. and a convention city is not motivated to advertise grim statistics.

* i know what i'd do, but you've cut my hands off.

* don't do that, it's private.

* what night is it?

* i couldn't hear you over the tugboat.

* a whole lot of concern has been wasted on you these past months.

* did you read my other ones?

* well, you better hope and pray you taught me how to clean up good.

* you gonna let him do this to me?!

* i've read some passages out loud, i'm afraid. hurtful words for both of your guardians.

* i buried them, okay?! way out of town! nothing out there for miles, no one's ever gonna find them except maybe criminals burying bodies of their own.

* i'm never gonna forget what happened here. i hate you.

* get out of my room!

* you want money?

* i mean, it's always a straight line with you. yes, i am asking for your support in my campaign.

* sounds like there's a maniac on the loose.

* don't be too startled if the police come knocking on your door.

* i was in the middle of cleaning when they knocked.

* you often leave your daughter alone with access to illegal spirits?

* that's my daughter's room!

* oh, i'm getting ready for bed!

* have you lost your goddamn mind? overnight, in a jail cell, with no coffin. we all be dead by morning.

* we do not bring souvenirs into the house!

* so much wine in his blood... and beer, and whisky.

* you wanted her, you fix her!

* do you remember our life, how happy we were before her? an anvil tied around our ankles, pulling us towards the pitch-black ocean floor.

* who am i supposed to love?

* how are you gonna fix it, huh? which one of you is gonna fuck me?

* well, you're not my type, i like a fuller figure.

* if you could find other vampires, which you won't, they would shred you to strips because you are built like a bird, because you are a mistake.

* how about you shut the fuck up?

* he treats us like shit and you take it! why is that?

* you, as cruel as the devil ever made, to refuse me one love when you got two!

* i've been entertaining myself.

* i'll kill her soon.

* don't run off...

* why did you take me home? why not a hospital? maybe i'd have a handsome husband by now, or he'd be plain with a good disposition. that'd be fine too. i'd be sweeping floors, making dinners, nursing babies. maybe i'd go to church... you think on that some.

* i had no words for her, what words were there? "it all happened so fast", "i was trying to save you"... "all vampires are born out of trauma."

* poor dear. she wasn't held enough in between ritualistic murders.

* look, charlie manson wrote a couple of beautiful songs. still, he was charlie manson.

* is that all you think of her?

* it won't matter what your intentions are... it's the world out there right now.

* once you put it out there, they decide what it is. it can get away from you.

* i won't have her exploited.

* keep reading.

* keep talking.

* assume we are under suspicion. assume our finances no longer provide us protection.

* make your kills outside of the city, one a night. no persons of note... unfortunates, undesirables.

* we should leave the city, start anew, turn a betrayal into an opportunity. new york, chicago, los angeles...

* we should dismantle her room.

* she'll be back.

* there would be no roaring twenties for us.

* we were underground for seven years.

* (name), come home. i know i hurt you. i know i can make it right again.

* little girl... i'm talking to you. now what were you doing in the library? you're not allowed in there.

* i don't talk to strangers.

* you can read?

* just as i thought, a little thief. you're coming with me.

* what are you gonna do after that? after you turn her in, after it makes you feel like a big man, what's your next move, you think?

* you're not allowed to ride one of those on campus.

* this is our school, where is your fighting pride?

* you hungry?

* flaubert's style is so dense. the absence of metaphor is so striking...

* should we make it a night of the two?

* you sound like every pompous sorbonne student i've ever eaten.

* should i do it like you instead? read the first ten pages of every book and pass myself off as cultured?

* well, at least you're listening. i sit there thinking "light yourself on fire, see if he'll notice."

* you draw me into your gloom.

* it's your fault she's gone. if you hadn't pushed her...

* i cannot listen to this insanity about (name) one more time.

* i got to hear my own funeral. only couple dozen people showed up, most didn't have much to say. started talking about the weather a few minutes in.

* poor fella digging my grave lies resting on the family plot.

* what was he like, your maker?

* it ain't like that, he's more like a dad.

* oh, now there's three of us.

* got me wondering what it'd be like, ride with others, hunt in a pack. a little fang gang.

* you got a name?

* you don't kill like a (name), you kill like a killer.

* there are four pages torn out... did she tear them out? didn't seem like something she would do...

* when you do that, when you editorialize, however noble the reasoning, it calls into question all of the other shit you're shovelling my way.

* don't ask again.

* it could be her, but i'm the one who is presently standing in front of you.

* so, if my considerable considerables continue to be squandered...

* hello? oh, sorry... no, it's good to hear your voice.

* we're headed north... crash cleaned us out. and don't offer, 'cause i'm not asking.

* you look good.

* don't need that either, (name). or... whatever you are that took my (name).

* i prayed myself old, begging what to do about you. god never talked back, so... this is how it has to be, for me, for my family. you understand?

* i've come to apologize, i put you both in a bad spot. i wasn't right in my head... i am now.

* apology not accepted.

* so, quick stop home to do laundry before you fuck off for good?

* perused a few folklore anthologies and now you're going to cross the ocean to take on a society of monsters?

* if what i've read is lies, then tell me what's true.

* seven years and what's changed other than you need a housekeeper?

* the vampires out there are vicious... oh, but you know that already. who did you meet out there?

* that's it, keep 'em scared. that's his way.

* we took her life from her. we cursed her.

* come with me! come with me, (name)!

* i thought i could live without you but i was wrong.

* his love is a small box he keeps you in. don't stay in it!

* a thousand nights of sulking, and the first sight of her you're just gonna up and leave me?!

* please, come with me! let's be vampires worthy of your love!

* i fought myself a million times, fought my nature, controlled my temper... i never once harmed you.

* let him go... he didn't do nothing. it's me you want.

* i have patiently waited in vain for you to love me as i love you. just say it... i'm never going to love you. it would help me a great deal to hear that from your lips... your quivering, hateful lips.

* let go of me.

* anything for you.

#rp meme #rp starters #rp prompts #sentence starters #inbox meme #inbox starters #rp ask meme #starter prompt #roleplay starters #roleplay prompts #sentence meme #askbox meme #askbox prompt #ask meme #sentence prompts #mine: prompts.

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mirror-to-the-past · 9 months ago

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So, I stopped liveblogging after a bit, because I just got absolutely lost in the EVERYTHING that was the OMORI Concert, but holy SHIT. What did everyone think of it? Any favorite pieces???

As I previously mentioned, "Trouble NEVER/ALWAYS" leading into "You Were Wrong. Go Back." was NUTS. The way that the orchestra made it so hype, you'd really think it was the introduction of an evil galactic overlord, rather than some guy throwing a tantrum after his girlfriend broke up with him, haha!

I can not emphasize enough how their rendition of "Trees..." tremendously altered my perception of the song. I liked it a lot before, really, but it wasn't particularly moving to me- just peaceful. This version of the song was so. wow. I struggle to find words for it. Same with "Sugar Star Planetarium" right afterwards. Fucking. Gorgeous.

Also putting "Just Leave Me Alone" and the rest of which I shall now call the Hooligans Suite, as they meshed it together in such an epic and cohesive way, after "Where We Used to Play" was just diabolical. I FELL OUT OF MY SEAT I WAS SO SURPRISED BY THE LOUDNESS, LOL. Speaking of the "Hooligans Suite" the guitarists just. URGH I LOVE THEM. This concert was way more metal than I expected, and I LOVED IT. The entire "Just Leave Me Alone"-"Cram It Wad"-"It Means Everything" was insanely epic, I felt like my heart stopped. Just like Space Boyfriend's theme, using the other Hooligans pieces as buildup to the main boss theme was so, so good. Did Aubrey and her gang such justice, like. I just felt so happy for my girl.

And then they put "Home for Flowers (Empty)" right afterwards, lol. If anyone's curious about how I looked after that sudden mood shift:

I'm now thoroughly on board of loving World's End Valentine now, because the instrumentation hurts my head less now, with this version, haha.

I am ADMITTEDLY a bit bummed that they didn't perform "Poems in the Fog" and "Forest Frenzy," as I can visualize Music Engine's style for those pieces so well, and I know it would be soooo beautifulll... but oh well...

I'm plesantly surprised that "Swirly 1000x" made the cut!! Very underrated piece, only used for one fight but godDAMN does it hit hard. The guitar 🎸🎸oncccee agaiiin. Crazy.

Also I knowwww it's not the most amazing piece in the world, but the jazz section of The Last Resort could have opened so cool with "Hanging With the Boys" right before that, but it's alright, I'm not gonna lose sleep over it.

The way I laughed when they jumpscared us with the organ for the first time because GoldenVengence was important enough as to demand the need for such a stately instrument, lol!

Can we talk about the clarinet in "Underwater Highway" because oooooghhh bleeeeh dead upon impact. It was so wonderful.... I love that piece already, but they made the descending notes so magical, and tranisitioned into "Squall" so beautifully.

You know what I AM gonna lose sleep over? THEY DIDN'T INCLUDE "H20:HCL" in the underwater section!! That piece is so beautiful... 😭😭

I think I blacked out and entered a trance-like state with everything from "See You Tomorrow" to "Truth." Somewhere within that period, wine and a tissue box appeared magically at my side, lmfao. Small comment in the midst of everything else that was That Section of the concert, but I'm so glad they kept "Gone," because that piece is so necessary for me, within that whole climactic sequence. It just oozes catharsis, it HAS to be included, no matter what.

But yeah anyway, "See You Tomorrow" and "Crossroads" just emanates the warmth of evening in summer. Those songs are laced with something magical, because I can see the orange of sunset so palpably in my mind's eye whenever I hear those pieces. Sweat on my skin, old t-shirts with fruit juice stains on them, other kids shrieking in the streets, being afraid of my neighbor's loud dog, getting pricked by thorns after walking into the forest- that's what those songs sound like to me. I don't get too nostalgic for the past much, but those songs make me feel like I'm a kid again. This rendition captured them perfectly.

Also wow, Basil, I see you and "A Home for Flowers (Daisy)" in the orchestral version, sounding like you jumped directly out of a Ghibli movie. I see you. T_T

Ha-ha-ha when the lights dimmed during "You Must Carry On" I didn't start freaking out at all..ha-ha-ha. What? I would never break out into goosepimples and jitters. Ha-ha-ha. Full body shakes who? I don't know her.

When "OMORI" started playing, a few others in the house who had never played the game and knew little to nothing about it stopped talking amongst themselves and came to watch the TV. It's THAT POIGNANT. I'll be honest, I love love love "DUET" as much as the next OMORI fan, but the song that makes me cry upon hearing it every time was never DUET, it was this one. DUET is a warm resurgance and appreciation for the things left behind, with a slight twinge of regret. "OMORI" is just pure, raw pain. And the string section didn't let me forget ittt hahahaha.

Tears were shed, people (me) were shaking, etc. etc. THANK YOU KAWAI KOTA for your amazing work in acting as Sunny's role amonst the violinists and concertmaster, your solo violin work and passion fully recaptured my feeling of playing the game for the first time, biting my nails with anticipation and heartache at whatever was happening next. Same goes to Kawamura Noriko for her work on piano, just... aaaaaaa!

Also bo en jumpscare!!! I love and respect that one individual in the audience who yelled "hands...!" during "My Time." It's honestly cruel for live orchestra to have the rule of "be silent during the performance!" because I would've had a vein popping if I was there from wanting to sing along so bad. I MEAN. IT'S *THE* SONG. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SING ALONG TO IT. Lucky for me, I was at home, and got to tipsily sing along to the lyrics from muscle memory, lmao.

I was expecting the choir that I saw filing into view to be for "My Time" that ended up playing later anyway- "Tee-hee Time" was a welcome surprise and amazingly epic!

Anyway that's about it from the top of mt head at the moment!! Please yell at me about what you thought of the concert- I stayed up late, went to sleep, got up again, and am still vibrating about it, lol! This has been the best part of my year so far- no joke.

ALSO WOOO OMORI MANGA. Can't wait for ENG translations- if this adaptation gives Sunny more explicit character voice, I'm not going to shut up about it ever. I won't shut up about it anyway, but I'll be not-shut-upping about it even more.

#omori #omori concert #omori manga

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zodiyack · 2 years ago

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My Dancing Queen

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Eddie being a weirdo, ittie bit of fluff

Words: 807

Request: The reader is captured by vecna, and eddie saves her by playing her favourite song on the guitar, dancing queen by abba, before the reader is possessed they had talked and she wanted him to play that song because it's her favourite and he said "no way I would play it" or something like that hahahah I don't know what's going through my head, I understand if you don't want to do it. (If it sounds ridiculous sorry I haven't slept since yesterday and it's going to be 11pm here in Ireland and I can't sleep so that's why I wrote this)

Masterlist | Stranger Things Masterlist

Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @sebby-staan, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @darling-i-read-it, @sebby-staan, @bubsonnobx ,@tubble-wubble @livlaughquinn, @bunnyweasley23

Seeing her, floating with cloudy eyes and a lifeless expression on her once lively and gorgeous face, instilled a fear in Eddie. A fear so great, he never really thought it was possible. Then again, he never really thought fighting another dimensional being in a reverse dimension beneath his home town would be possible either.

“Music, c’mon Eddie! What’s her favorite song??” Dustin begged frantically. He was just as horrified to see his friend in that state. “You have your guitar, what’s stopping you?!”

The group continued to pester him with shaky voices, all racing to save their friend. The more their voices rose over each others, the more pressure Eddie began to suffocate under. And then, he finally snapped. “ALRIGHT!” He sighed as a silence washed over them. “Give me a goddamn second!”

Eddie closed his eyes to think. He didn’t have to do much digging to relive the memory he secretly held close.

Y/N danced in her room, singing along loudly and shamelessly to Dancing Queen by ABBA. She didn’t even notice the long haired rebel sitting in her window sill. She sighed when the song ended and quickly restarted it, an encore of the same song but more enthusiastic dance moves. He watched her hips sway to the beat, her eyes closed as she felt the music in her soul, her whole body moving the rhythm, perfectly on beat, almost like she was one with the music.

He smirked, admiring her and her cluelessness as she got lost in the sound of ABBA. “You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen!” She even sang the little extra vocals, the music drowning out under her own voice.

It was only when Eddie fell forward while trying to readjust himself into a more comfortable position did she snap from her trance.

“Jesus H Christ Eds! What the fuck?!”

“What, am I not allowed to see my beautiful girlfriend?”

Whilst she did smile at the comment, she playfully rolled her eyes and helped him up. “No, you’re just not allowed to sneak onto my window and watch me like a creep.”

Eddie chuckled, “Oh but, if I’m not mistaken, you’re the dancing queen, right? A peasant like me can’t help but admire such a royal beauty.”

“You’re a royal pain in my ass, Munson.”

He brought his hand to his chest, feigning hurt at her quip. Suddenly, he grabbed her hips and pulled her into a passionate, yet short, kiss. “So, m’lady dancing queen, what are you up to this fine evening?”

“Well I was just listening to only the greatest song of all time before you decided to be a peeping Tom.”

Eddie cringed slightly, earning a scoff from Y/N. “You’re sadly mistaken if you think ABBA wrote the greatest song of all time.”

“You’re just without taste, my love.” She shrugged. “You should play it for me sometime, ya know? Make me swoon while you be all romantic and seduce me with your guitar.”

“No way in hell am I gonna play fuckin’ ABBA.”

“But Eds!” She frowned, “It’s my favorite song...”

“Mhm, and you’re my favorite girl, but you don’t see me playing you.” His words came out a much more odd sounding than they did in his head, but nonetheless, it appeared he got his point across when she sighed in defeat.

Coming back to reality, he realized he had to do the one thing she begged him to do that he refused. Oddly enough, he wasn’t even phased by it. No cringe, no hesitation, just pure determination to get his girl back.

Going through the notes mentally, he prepared himself to play the song. Looking up at her, he swallowed. “This is for you, Y/N. Come back to me, my dancing queen.”

The familiar tune echoed in...wherever the hell she was. All she knew was that it was just as Max had described to her. Vecna’s possession. She was close to tears, fighting with her life literally on the line. Before the music started playing, she was beginning to lose hope, lose strength, and lose distance between her and Vecna. But then the melody began, and like an syringe full of adrenaline, she was filled with the energy and all she needed to escape his grasp.

A portal looking opening appeared when she turned to her left. Seeing the man she loved playing the song he swore he’d never play brought on more of her fighting spirit. She didn’t even look back, knowing that it could be her greatest mistake. Instead, she ran like hell, toward her hell-raiser.

Once she’d made it out safely, she scrambled into Eddie’s arms, crying into his chest as he kissed the top of her head and rubbed lines up and down her back. “It’s okay dancing queen. You’re here now. You’re here with me.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joe quinn #joe quinn x reader #x reader #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfic #fanfic #reader insert #imagine #drabble #oneshot #fanfiction #st4 #eddie munson st4

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dumbdolphin3 · 11 months ago

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OK THIS IS A RANT WITH ZERO PUNCTUATION IN ALL CAPS AND SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL EPS. 1-4!!!!

OK SO I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THEM AND OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH ITS AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND OH MY FUCKING GOD IM GONNA RANT ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND THE EPISODES MAYBE IDKKKKK

CHARLIE GIRL YOU ARE SO WHOLEOSME AND I OOVE YOU BUT GODDAMN STOP TAKING PEOPLE’S SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU AHVE TO BE NICE. ALTHOUGH WHEN YOU WENT DEMON FIRM AT VAL FOR FUCKING ABUSING ANGEL HELLLLLL YEAH THATS MY gIRL ILYSM. AND HER FEELING GUILTY FIR EVERYTHING LIEK IT WAS PARTLY YOUR FAULT BUT NO STOP REVEALING MY OWN PROBLEMS TO ME “YOU FIX EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS EXCEPT YOUR OWN” STOP IT HUSK STOP IT.

SPEAKING OF HUSK MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, MY BELOVED. I OOVE THIS WISE OLD BARTENDER. HIM IN THE 4TH EPISODE… AHHHHHHHHH MY HUSKERDUST HEART!!! AND IF HIS AND ALASTOR’S RELATIONSHIP AND PAST DONT GET DEEPLY DIVEN INTO IN THE SHOW I WILL NOT HESITATE TO FUCKING MAKE JY WAY TO FUCKING HEAD WRITER AND MAKE IT HAPPEN. AND HIM TAKING CARE OF ANGEL. GET FUCKING MARRIED (JKJK I LOVE A SLOWBURN (SERIOUSLY ATYD TOOK LIKE 70 CHAPTERS AT KEAST FOR FEELINGS TO EVEN HAPPEN)) AND HIM RELATING TI ANGELLLL AND THEIR DUETTTTTT!!!

AND NOW ANGEL. MY GOD I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU VAKENTINO YOU DO NOT GET TO HURT MY SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER AND JUST EXPECT ME NOT TO BRANDISH MY FUCKING KNOFE JUST BCUZ YOU ARE FICTIONAL AND THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY I COULD KILL YOU. I WILL GET A FUCKING ANGELIC WEAPON AND SKEWER YOU. NOW ENLUGH ABOUT THAT SHITHEAD ONTO OMGGGG ANGEL NO ONE CAN BEAT HUSK BUT GODDAMN ILYYYYY HIM AND VAGGIE HAVE A SUBLING RELATIONSHIP AND NO ONE CAN CONVIBCE ME OTHERIWSE. THEY ARE JUDGEMENTAL SHITS WHO HATE EACH OTHER AND WOULD THRIW EACH LTHER IN FRONT OF A CAR BUT WOULD KILL SOMEOBE IF THEY SOMUCH AS LOOKED AT THE OTHER THE WROBG WAY. ALSO IN EPSIDOE 2 HIM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SIR PENTIOUS. YES. AND HIM FEELING LEFT PUT UGHHHHHHH!,!

OK SIR PENTIOUS TIME BCUZ HE IS VOICED BY ALEX BRIGHTMAN AND I AM A FUCKING BEETLEJUICE STAN, AND ALSO A FIZZAROLI STAN (HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TI HELLUVA BOSS AND NO I WILL NOT DEBATE THIS) AND OMG HES SO SILLY HOW DID HE EVER GO TO HELL I CANT HES SO SWEET AND APOLOGETIC. I MEAN HE WAS AN ASSHOLE FOR LIEK TWO MINUTES AND HE DID ONLY APOLOGIZE AFTER GETTING THE SHIT BEATEN OUT IF HIM BUT THEN HE SANG A WHOLE SONG WITH CHARLIE AND HES SO SWEET I CANT- ALSO HIS WHOLE THING WITH NIFFTY SPEAKING OF NIFFTY…

I LOVE THIS LITTLE GREMLIN SHE IS PURE COMEDY GOLD AND SHE IS EVERYTHING. SHE HAS PROBABLY KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN ALASTOR AND I LOVE THAT FOR HER. JUST WATCHING “INNICENTLY” WHILE ANGEL PLAYED HIS PORN VID… AND HER AND SIR PENTIOUSSSS “OOH HES A BAD BOY” AND THEN HER WALING IN RIGHT AFTER THE MUSICAL NUMBER BEING LIKE “I HATED THAT YOU’RE NOT A BAD BOY ANYMORE” I LITERALLY LOVE HER SHES SO UNDERRATED!!! AND HUSK JUST REFUSING TO SHARE WHAT KIND OF SHIT SHOW SHE IS!!, FUCKING LOVE HER.

ANYWAY VAGGIE AND CHARLIE ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE (I HAVE SOME CHAGGIE FANART I MADE I JUST UGHHHH LOVE THEM) AND VAGGIE IS SO SWEET ALSO HER WHOLE THING IN THE 3RD EPISODE WHERE SHE’S KINDA LIKE SHES A GENERAL IN THE MILITARY? I FEEL LIKE THAT MIGHT BE A POINT FOR THE VAGGIE IS AN EX-EXORCIST (IF THE EXORCISTS ARE STRCTURED LIKE AN ARMY (LOOK AT ME THEORIZING MATPAT WOULD BE PROUD)) ALSO HER BEING READY TO FUCKING KILL ANYONE LOVEEEEEE!!!

UM ANYWAY ITS ALASTOR TIME AND IF ALL THE COMPLEXITIES OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE CAST AREN’T EXPLAINED IN DEPTH I WILL FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY (PROBABLY VALENTINO I HATE HIM SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO TAKE A KNIFE AMD-) ANYWAY ALL OF ALASTOR’S MONENTS ARE AMAZING I LOVED THE CALLBACK TO “HA! no” AND HIM AND THE EGG BOIS——— ALSO HIS DUET WITH VOX??? AMAZING AND DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT IT LOW KEY KIND OF SOUNDED LIEK “INSANE” AT SOME PARTS? MY HAZBIN OBESSED MIND ATE THAT SHIT UPPPPP!

WELP THATS PRETTY MUCH ALL I HAVE TO SAY ON THE MAIN CAST ALSO JUST WANT TO MENTION THAT I LOVE HOW WHEN CHARACTERS SING THEY ARE ACTUALLY SINGING!!! LIKE I LOVE IT WHEN MUSICALS ACKNOWLEDGE THE SONGS IT MAKES ME HAPPY

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel sir pentious #hazbin hotel niffty #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel vaggie

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azucarmorena97 · 7 months ago

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Cold (1)

Prologue | Pt.2

Spoiled rotten. Idiot. Greedy. Gluttonous. Evrything you could ever despise in a human being, all wrapped up in a beautiful, gold foil package. Seokjin is known across the land- or, at least all over three different IVY league campuses in the area- as the party-legend and the guy to call for a good time. Not to mention, a total whore. The last person you ever would've wanted as a group mate for the first quarter of the new semester, and the last one you would've ever imagined to have fallen absolutuely, head over hell in love with.

Hell as officially frozen over.

A/N: This takes place before Jin's part in my BTS as Cliched School Tropes. I will be inserting a link to that piece right where it fits chronologically in the story so you can read it and come back when it's time. All the boys in this story are from that piece with each story occurring in the same universe and on the same timeline.

Series Warnings: Serious themes will be mentioned in this series, such as substance use/abuse, self harm, and violence. Not to mention, there will be smut in the future!

You've known him for a long time. Since you were about ten years old, to be exact. He's been in your class three different times, once for fifth grade, again for eighth, and then one final time for 11th grade. All three years, you'd interacted with him as little as possible, having decided in fifth grade that you hated him because he got everyone in your class to call you AP because, in his words, you were "such a goddamn nerd."

Girls have always liked him; He's handsome, always has been, he has money, knows how to have fun, doesn't take himself to seriously-

I mean, what's not to like, right?

Wrong. There's plenty to dislike, though writing a list would take forever and no one has that kind of time.

In fact, you were quite pleased when he moved schools in the middle of the semester during Jr. year. You weren't sure why he'd left so randomly, but you didn't really care to ask questions... although you did hear a few conflicting stories: busted for drug possession, caught drinking at a house party, stealing old Hitman Bang's (that's what everyone called the principal) car and taking it for a joyride. Honestly, all of those stories were pretty believable for those who knew him.

Hence, why he sucks as a person.

Imagine your surprise when, on the first day of University, he walks in with a crowd of people hanging off his every word. Walked right past you without a second glance.

Good. That's just how you preferred it anyway.

"It's not that I don't trust your judgment, sir. I just don't think it's gonna work out-" "If I do that for you, I'll have to reconfigure everyone else' group and that is just not an option."

Professor Song has just posted the teams for the upcoming group projects and you're desperately asking him to reconsider. Hoseok is standing next to you being of absolutely no help, of course.

"Sir, I understand but I could do it for you, if you'd like!" "Mr.Jung, do you have an issue with Jin being on your team?" Prof looks at him from over his glasses, lifting an eyebrow. Hoseok looks at him, then at you, "I-I don't have a particular issue-" You kick his ankle 'discreetly', "-I mean, but it does seem very very important to Y/n, so I support her?" Hoseok glances at you, giving a pathetic little smile of appeasment.

"Right...well, the decision is final. Sorry!" Without so much as another word, Prof grabs his briefcase and walks out of the classroom.

You glare at Hoseok, "Thanks a lot, dude."

You push past him and grab your backpack, brows furrowed in anger.

"Oh, come on!" He whines, "Maybe it won't be so bad."

"For you, maybe."

You both exit the classroom and start your way down the hall to where the elevators are. You press the button to go down.

"Look, I get your hesitance to work with him but that was high school and this is university! You seriously think he's the same guy we knew when we were 16?" He asks, putting his hands up for emphasis.

Just then, timing as perfect as any movie, the elevator doors open, revealing a girl with her back toward you, male hands clutching firmly at the flesh of her ass, as though neither of them expected the elevator to stop so soon. She jumps off of him and moves to the side- and there's Jin. Lipstick stained, puffy-pink lipped Jin.

You look at Hoseok, your expression screaming "I TOLD YOU SO." Hoseok just shrugs, "Old habits die hard?"

"I heard he's only there so that daddy doesn't cut him off," B/f/n says, leaning forward to add a few extra paint strokes to her big toe.

You roll your eyes, "I don't even care why he's there- I just want him gone. I don't even know how your boyfriend can stand him. Red flag, B/f/n."

She laughs, "Hoseok just...likes to see the good in people." "Yeah, like a dog." "At least I have a dog," She quips.

"Touche," You sigh, throwing yourself backwards onto your bed.

Neither of your speaks for a little while, the both of you lost in thought. A SZA song playing softly from B/f/n's speaker, filling every space of the room.

"Wanna know the funny part?" "Oh, we're still talking about him?" She asks smugly. "Shut up," You crane your neck to give her a quick glare before returning to your previous position, "The funny part is... I remember the first day I saw him. He walked into class and I thought he was likee...the most beautiful boy I've ever seen." "Really?" She asks, raising her brows in surprise. Seeing as how you're the president of the We-Hate-Jin club, it's a shock to think that, at one time, you might have been just as in love with him as everyone else.

"Yeah...and then he opened his stupid fucking mouth."

She rolls her eyes, "Of course."

You sigh, "I don't know what I'm gonna do." "You could always just transfer out of that class, you know? The semester just started, anyway."

"And let him win!? No way..." "Then, in the words of Edward Cullen, you'll just have to endure it."

And endure, you shall.

"For this first assignment, you will be presenting on any current major political event or global issue. I will be posting some idea topics on the projector, though you can choose a topic not on this list as well, just let me know as soon as you decide. Each topic is first come, first serve, so think of at least three possible topics in case yours is chosen," Prof flips his projector on and claps his hands together, "You may now go and confer with your team."

Students shuffle and move around the classroom to get to their teammates, though you and Hoseok stay put. "Should we go over to him?" Hoseok asks, looking behind him to look for Jin. "No. We're already sitting down, he's the one that should come to us," You say with a self-righteous expression.

A good three minutes pass and you're both still waiting. "I-I don't think he's coming," Hoseok says, checking his apple watch. You flare your nostrils, already annoyed. You give in to the urge to look behind you as Hoseok had, only to see Jin sitting with a large group of people in the back; his head jerking backward in laughter as they all huddle together.

Wordlessly, you stand up from your seat though you leave your notebook and pen at the table. You might be the one to go after him right now, but you'll be damned if you let him dictate where you'll work on the project.

As you approach the large group of people at the far back of the classroom, you feel your heart start pounding in your chest. It's like high school all over again. You try to shove your nerves out of your head and make sure not to let it show on your face. "Excuse me, Jin?" You say.

They all keep talking and carrying on, not a single one of them having heard you. It's like you're standing behind some kind of invisible forcefield of assholery. You clear your throat and, before you can fully gather the nerve, your index finger is making contact with Jin's shoulder. "Jin."

His head immediately whips around, "Mm?" Silence befalls the entire herd and you can feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment. "We're waiting for you."

"Who's waiting for me?" He asks, a genuine look of confusion on his face.

You stare at him blankly, deciding on whether or not he's pulling your leg, "Hoseok and I. Your team. For the project."

He glances over at Hoseok, who is texting away at the other table. "Right, the project." The herd laughs, "Fucking dumbass," One of them says, shoving his shoulder. "Shut your ass up," Jin shoves him, a big smile on his face.

You're still standing there awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

Jin looks as though he's only just remembering you're standing there and he clears his throat, "Uh, yeah. I'll be right there. No worries."

"Alright..." You say, eyes narrowed on him slightly. You're not sure you believe him, but you're also no gonna stand here like an idiot.

You return to your seat and open your notebook. "He coming?" Hoseok asks. "Yeah." "You sure? He hasn't moved like...at all." "He said he's coming, so he's coming. Let's just start thinking of what we want the topic to be." "Alright..." He leans back in his chair, "Well, I was thinking..."

Hoeseok goes through about three different topics, saying this or that about each one, but you can't focus on anything he's saying.

That fucking asshole isn't coming. It's been...goodness, it's been fifteen minutes. Does he just not give a fuck? Of course he doesn't. He's just here so he doesn't get cut off, just like B/f/n said.

"So, what do you think?" Hoseok asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Hm?" You ask, blinking slowly as you come back to reality. "Were you listening like, at all?" "Of- of course. Uhm, let's go with your second idea," You glance down at the paper he was jotting ideas down on, "Feminism in the workplace."

"Okay, great," He folds the paper and tucks it into his pocket.

"Alright, everyone. I hope you got some good discussions in. Remember this is due in a week and a half. Make sure to assign jobs tomorrow for everyone to do. Have a good rest of your day."

Everyone starts gathering their things and walking out, chatter filling the room. The crowd Jin was sitting with all walks forward to exit the room, and of course, Jin doesn't even look yours or Hoseok's way.

Fuck it. You don't need him.

"You excited to see him?" B/f/n asks, biting her straw in excitement. You roll your eyes, trying to seem nonchalant, "It's not even a big deal." "Oh, please. You all but begged for Hoseok to invite him." "I did not beg. I...strongly suggested it would be cool to have more people over," You shrug, taking a swig of your coke. "Right," She laughs. "Aaay!" Hoseok's voice booms from the living room, indicating his invited *ahem* guest has arrived.

You and B/f/n both look at each other, sudden panic taking over the both of you; B/f/n for you, and you for yourself. "Teeth!" You both say in unison, prompting you to immediately bare your teeth at her, her eyes carefully examining every single crevice, "You're good." "Breath?" You breath on her. "Minty fresh," She assures. You take a long, deep breath, "Okay. Let's do this." "So much for it not being a big deal," B/f/n says smugly, to which to respond by glaring at her.

"Hey, everyone!" B/f/n greets with a big smile, walking over and hugging Yoongi, Namjoon, and Taehyung.

They all greet the both of you.

"Can I offer you guys any drinks? Namjoon, Yoongi...Taehyung?" Your eyes linger on Tae for just a little longer than the others, as he's your true interest tonight anyway.

"I'll take a beer," Hoseok interjects, to which B/f/n chupses and hits his arm. "Ow?" He furrows his brows.

"I think we'll all take beers," Namjoon says for everyone. "Uhm, I think I'll just have a Sprite, thanks," Tae says.

"One Sprite, coming up" You smile, completely forgetting about everyone else, 'cause fuck 'em, that's why.

"Let's go!" Hoseok cheers, along with the other guys when whatever-the-fuck team scores the winning touchdown. "Good, it's finally over," You say exasperatedly; you're bored to death and just want to be able to talk to Taehyung.

"I don't even know why you'd want to be invited to watch the game- you hate football," B/f/n says, just loud enough for you to hear but no one else.

"I was desperate," You sigh, "I've been trying to get the nerve to talk to Tae' but I never had an in until now." "Just talk to him, you nerd," She says, lightly pushing on your shoulder.

"You're right. I need to stop being a pussy," You nod, "I'm going in."

By this point, everyone's had a few beers- minus Tae- and everyone is in a seemingly good enough mood; "How about some karaoke?" You say, standing in the middle of the living room in front of the TV.

"Fuck yeah!" Hoseok jumps up, "I'll go get the mics."

"Karaoke's not really my think," Yoongi says, crossing his arms. "What? Scared you'll lose your sTrEet CrEd with your shitty singing?" You mock. "Scared? Ha," He shakes his head, "You know what, fine. We'll do some karaoke."

"Ay! Now it's a party," You and B/f/n cheer, "Got the mics," Hoseok says, coming back with the rechargeable mics with built in speakers, "I call first!" "What about you, Taehyung? You gonna sing?" You ask, sitting next to him. He smiles shyly, "I...I don't know. I'm a little shy." "Oh, come on! I'm sure you'll be great." "I think I'll just watch for now," He says, leaning back into the couch.

"Ah, you're the observant type, then?" You ask, taking advantage of the fact that everyone is now focused on Hoseok's overly emotional rendition of The Fray's 'How to Save a Life'.

"I guess so," He nods. "A wallflower of sorts," You add. "What a...pretty way to put being an introvert," He chuckles. "I do have a way with words," You smile. "I definitely don't- I usually get really tongue tied when I'm on the spot." "Yeah, I'm not much of a public speaker, myself." "Shit, me either. I failed speech last semester because of it." "You took speech? Who was your professor?" You ask, rotating yourself to face him better. "Professor Song," He sighs. "No shit- I have him now too!" "Good luck," He shakes his head in pity. "You can say that again. He paired me up with this guy I've known for forever, total dick. I tried to get him to change the teams but Prof was absolutely not with it," You roll your eyes. "Yeah, sounds like Song... Who's the guy?" He asks. "Hm?" "Total Dick." "Ah yeah, him. You may have heard of him. Kim Seokjin?"

"No way, you're working with Jin this semester?!" Yoongi cuts in, plopping down next to you, "I've been overcharging that idiot for weed since middle school," He laughs.

"Remember when you sold him Tums and told him it was molly?" Namjoon laughs. "Oh yeah, that shit was funny."

"So he's really stupid?" Tae asks. "Oh no, he's more than that," You say bitterly. "Oh boy, you've gotten her started," B/f/n sighs. "He's the hugest asshole. Fifth grade, a girl told him he needed a hair cut, so what'd he do? Tangled a huge wad of Hubba Bubba in her hair, then told her he knew a really good barber who could take care of that. Eight grade, he was caught...'playing doctor' with some girl under the bleachers at a football game and then proceeded to completely ignore her for the rest of the year, went on to date her best friend. These are only some of the dickish things he's done-" "Wow, he does seem like quite the asshole," Tae nods, taking a sip of his sprite. You catch yourself having gone on a rant, as you tend to do, and get embarrassed. "Yeah, uhm...well, I-I'm gonna go get us some popcorn. Be right back-" "I've actually gotta get going," Taehyung says, checking his watch. "Yeah, me too," Yoongi nods, putting his beer on the table. "Yoongi's my ride," Namjoon stands as well.

"Oh, okay," You try not to sound so defeated, convinced that you've blown it by sounding like the biggest hater in the universe. "It was nice of you all to come over," B/f/n says. "Of course, thanks for having us," Namjoon smiles. "tHaNks fOr hAvIng Us," Yoongi mocks him, "Fucking dweeb." "It's the polite thing to say," Namjoon furrows his brows. "Bye Taehyung," You say, as he's the last one out the door. "Bye. It was nice talking to you," He smiles politely, giving a slight bow and then following them out.

When the door closes, you plop back down on the couch, letting out a big sigh, throwing your hands over your face in defeat. "Ugh! I blew it, didn't I?" "What? No, not at all...I- I definitely think, for next time, maybe don't go on a tangent about another man?" "Another man? You make it seem like I was talking about a lover," You scoff. "I know, I know. But just tone it down next time." "If there even is a next time," You groan, still not uncovering your eyes. "Oh stop, I'm sure there will be. I'll even make Hobi keep throwing watch parties until Taehyung eventually falls in love with you." Finally, you uncover your eyes, "Promise?" You hold out your pinky, and she hooks hers around it, "Promise."

A/N: I think I'm addicted to writing the boys out to be total jerks. What can I say? That's my type. As always, let me know what you think! <3

#jin #kim seokjin #seokjin #bts jin #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan boys #jin x reader #seokjin x reader #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts imagine #bts x you

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