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whataperfectwasteoftime · 2 years ago

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Intimidation Tactics / Chapter 4

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!Reader x Dave York

Rating: E (OH MY GOD, E)

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: Mention of previous abusive relationship, enemies to lovers, idiots to lovers, FINALLY THE SMUT. MMF, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected PIV sex, switch!Dave and switch!Marcus, sub!Reader (who’s surprised??), anal sex (m receiving), come eating, just like, all the fucking.

Summary: The kiss is becoming more and more heated by the minute, but suddenly, Marcus pulls back for air. You’re about to whine and chase after him, when you remember– Dave is in the room.

A/N: FINALLY AMIRIGHT????? This is 5k words of filth. Thank you to @leslie-lyman and @pedropascalsx for being my smut guinea pigs.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Chapter Four - The Storm

You don’t like storms.

It isn’t the lightning. It isn't the thunder. It isn’t even the threat of hail or tornadoes. It had taken you a while to pinpoint why you no longer found them to be peaceful, but with the help of your therapist, you had finally figured it out:

Your ex used to work in construction. Whenever it stormed, he'd be home.

You've stayed in your room most of the day, partly to work through those feelings on your own with no distractions. The other reason you're holed up in your room is said distractions, themselves.

Marcus and Dave. By all accounts, they seem to hate each other. Your partner, especially, seems dead set on the idea that your rescuer is untrustworthy and disingenuous and has a tendency to jump down the other man’s throat whenever the two of them are in a room together. You’ve always trusted Marcus’s judgment, but… you can’t find it in you to hate Dave York.

Maybe you’d like him less if he weren’t so incredibly attractive. It’s not just his face, it’s his entire bearing, the way he moves, talks, holds himself. You can’t seem to keep your eyes off of him. The more time you spend watching him, the more you realize–you have a crush.

It’s more than a little confusing. Just two days ago, you would have said that you carried a torch for Marcus Pike and only Marcus Pike. You’ve pined for him for so long, it had hardly seemed as if there was any room for anyone else. But, as your forced proximity stretches on, your feelings are harder and harder to ignore.

There’s a softness to Dave York that intrigues you. He tries to cover it up with sarcasm and rigidity, but his face always seems to betray him. He keeps his lips pursed, his jaw clenched, and his most common expression appears to be a smirk, but you can’t help but notice the times that he drops the facade and lets a genuine smile show through. His eyes are endlessly expressive, and more and more, you can feel them watching you.

As the day wears on, the storm gets worse, which does nothing for your current mental state. You flinch at an especially loud boom of thunder and roll your eyes at your own jumpiness.

It’s eating at you inside, the guilt. Sure, you don’t owe anything to Marcus. He’s never given any indication that he’s interested in you, even after Dave had all but spelled out your feelings for your partner during your confrontation that day in the park. But there’s a part of you that considers yourself Marcus’s, no matter how many times you tell yourself that it’s not going to happen. Enjoying Dave’s attention feels, inexplicably, like betrayal.

As you’re turning your feelings around and around in your head, there’s a soft knock at the door. You frown.

“Come in?” you call out, and the door opens to reveal Marcus.

There’s an odd look in his eyes, one you’ve never seen before. His eyes are softer than you’ve ever seen them, but his jaw is set with determination. As he strides into the room, his eyes not leaving yours, you see Dave quietly enter the room behind him.

Before you can question what Dave is doing, Marcus kneels in front of where you’re sitting on the bed, and, giving you plenty of time to anticipate it and pull away, gently covers your hands with his.

“Marcus?” you whisper, brimming with confusion.

“I’m sorry,” Marcus murmurs. “I wanted you to feel comfortable and safe, so I was waiting for you to make a first move. It never occurred to me that you might be waiting for me.”

Your lips part in surprise, but you don’t trust yourself to speak. Thankfully, you don’t have to, because Marcus raises one hand to cup your cheek, and he keeps talking.

“I like you,” Marcus says with a soft smile. “Of course I do. There are a lot of reasons why I never said anything, but the biggest one is that I was being a fucking coward, and I don’t want to do that anymore.”

Marcus’s thumb strokes your cheekbone, and you find yourself smiling and nodding.

“Me too,” you admit softly. “It was easier to just be alone, for a while, but I don’t want to be. I don’t,” you repeat emphatically.

“I know,” Marcus says quietly. “I know.” He leans in closer, his other hand coming up to join the other one on your face, caging your jaw gently in his palms. “Can I kiss you?” he asks.

You barely finish the word “Yes” before Marcus’s lips are on yours.

It’s everything you’d imagined and more. Marcus’s kiss is gentle, but insistent. The man is brimming with passion, and it seems as if he’s pouring all of it into you. As the kiss deepens and intensifies, Marcus slowly rises to his feet, bringing you with him, but never once leaving your lips. Now standing, you wind your arms around his shoulders and softly dig your fingertips into his neck, eliciting a little sound at the back of his throat. Only then do his lips finally part, sliding his tongue into your mouth to meet yours. His hands move from your face to your hips, gripping them gently as he pulls you closer until your bodies are flush. The kiss is becoming more and more heated by the minute, but suddenly, Marcus pulls back for air. You’re about to whine and chase after him, when you remember–

Dave is in the room.

You let in a sharp intake of breath when your eyes find him again. He’s leaning against the door frame, arms folded, watching the proceedings with a small smile on his face. As if he was waiting for you to take notice, he straightens and slowly walks toward you and Marcus.

“Wh–” you begin.

“I’ve seen you watching me,” Dave says softly, his lips curled in a teasing–but affectionate–smile.

Your eyes flick to Marcus in alarm–will he be upset? Why is Dave in the room while he–

“It’s okay,” Marcus tells you. “We’ve talked.”

“Talked,” you repeat dumbly.

“I think what Marcus means to say,” Dave says, reaching for the man in question and curling his hand around the back of his neck, “is that we both want this. You, us–the three of us.”

For a moment, you’re too stunned to speak. Dave has never called Marcus by his first name, you’re sure of it. It’s always Agent Pike this, Agent Pike that. Combined with the casual, affectionate touch, you feel as if your brain is melting. Clearly, you’ve missed something.

Either way, you’d be stupid to turn this down, whatever this is. You’ve been lonely for too long, always yearning for companionship but too afraid to pursue it, and now these two men are offering a chance at release, and, for the first time in a long time, you feel safe to do so.

“Yeah,” you breathe, nodding eagerly. “Okay.”

Marcus kisses you again, and you can feel him smiling against your mouth. You gasp softly into the kiss as you feel Dave coming up behind you, his hands resting at your hips and his lips brushing your shoulder. Oh, God. They’ve barely done anything and you feel as if you’re about to combust, melt, or both. It’s been so long–too long–and every little touch is sending shockwaves up and down your body.

As if Dave can read your mind, he asks, “How long has it been since someone’s taken care of you, hmm?”

You pause to think. You finally left Steven three years ago. How long had it taken for things to get bad, before that? “F-Five,” you offer shakily. “Six? I don’t–”

“Too long,” Marcus murmurs against your lips, and Dave makes a soft sound of agreement.

“We’re going to take care of you,” Dave promises, kissing a path up the side of your neck. When he gets to the spot just beneath your ear, his teeth dig in gently as he sucks a small bruise into your skin, and you can’t help the moan of pleasure that escapes you as you sag back against him.

Marcus chuckles at your enthusiastic reaction and captures your bottom lip between his teeth before he pulls back to look at you with soft eyes.

“Easy, pumpkin,” Dave teases. “Why don’t we take this to my bedroom, instead,” he suggests. “Bigger bed.”

You nod with half-closed eyes, drunk on their attention.

“C’mon.” Dave steers you both out of the spare room and into the more spacious master bedroom. The storm rages on outside the large windows, the trees gently knocking their branches against the glass as they toss in the wind. You still feel as if you’re dreaming.

“One thing before we get started,” Marcus says quietly. “Either of us do anything you don’t like, you just say ‘stop,’ and it stops, okay?”

You nod languidly, leaning back against Marcus and just feeling the warmth of him.

“Hey,” Dave says, taking your chin gently in his fingers, causing you to blink your eyes open. “Use your words, pumpkin. What do you say when you don’t want us to do something?”

“S-Stop,” you say.

“Good girl,” Dave rumbles, and you shudder violently against Marcus at the praise.

“Think she liked that,” Marcus remarks, his lips at your neck.

“Did you?” Dave looks at you expectantly.

“Yes,” you breathe.

“Good,” he responds quietly, and his dark eyes flick to Marcus. “Take her clothes off.”

Marcus’s hands are warm and soft as they trail across your bare stomach under the too-large borrowed shirt from the attic. The hem catches on his fingers, and he draws it up over your head in one fluid motion as Dave watches with fire in his eyes, his lips parting at the exposed skin. Marcus keeps going, sliding your pajama pants down off of your hips, letting them pool on the floor at your feet. You kick them away easily, not leaving the comfort of Marcus’s arms.

Dave steps forward then, and his hands slip behind you to deftly unclasp your bra, dropping it unceremoniously to the side and then, holding your eyes, he slowly drags your underwear down your legs.

"Look at how pretty you are," Dave murmurs, his eyes devouring your naked form.

"Gorgeous," Marcus agrees, letting his hands wander up and down, lightly squeezing your breasts but not yet touching your nipples.

Both men seem to instinctively know that you need this to go slow.

"I want to eat that perfect little pussy," Dave rasps. He leans in, his face hovering inches from Marcus’s. "Hold her for me, would you? On the bed."

"Fuck," Marcus breathes. "Yes."

He settles back against the headboard with you laying on his chest between his legs. Dave is eyeing both of you like a meal he can't wait to devour. As he kneels on the bed, Marcus takes hold of your thighs and slowly pulls them apart, showing Dave exactly how wet you are for him. For both of them.

Dave makes a hungry sound at the back of his throat and crawls forward, slotting himself between your legs and licking a long, wet stripe up your folds.

“Dave,” you gasp, back arching at the first touch of his tongue to your clit.

“Mmm,” he answers, not taking his mouth off of you, but you can see from the shape of his eyes that he’s smiling. He swirls his tongue around your clit, and a litany of whimpers and gasps fall from your lips as he slowly takes you apart.

“Still good?” Marcus asks softly in your ear, checking in.

“Yes,” you say quickly. “Yes, yes, yes–” Each cry from your lips gets higher and higher, and you can already feel a little tingle at the base of your spine as your orgasm builds.

“Does she taste good?” Marcus asks Dave, threading a hand through his hair and tugging gently at the strands.

Dave raises his head and looks at Marcus with hooded eyes. “You’ll find out,” he teases with a smirk.

He descends again, licking up into your cunt as you keen for him. Marcus’s hands come to your breasts again, and this time, his fingers rub lightly at your nipples. The dual sensation is all it takes for you to fall over the edge.

Dave moans as he feels you pulsing around his tongue. He licks you through your aftershocks until you’re squirming in Marcus’s arms with oversensitivity. Marcus talks you through it, murmuring “I’ve got you,” or “Just a little more,” as you shake for them.

“‘m not done with her,” Dave mumbles, muffled by your skin. “She’s giving me one more.”

He slips a finger inside of you and you whimper at the intrusion. God, you’re so touch-starved that every little thing feels like fireworks inside you, and in no time, as his finger presses up on that little spongy spot in your cunt and gently rubs back and forth against it, you’re falling apart again.

Marcus holds you gently as you arch against him and cry out loudly into the room. Dave finally pulls off of you with a wet pop, looking up at you with the evidence of your desire all over his plush lips.

“Still wanna know how she tastes?” Dave drawls.

“Fuck, yes,” Marcus whispers. “Come here.”

Dave crawls up the bed and takes his place beside the two of you. Gripping Marcus’s neck, he pulls the other man toward him for a passionate, open-mouthed kiss. Marcus moans into the kiss, either at the feel of Dave’s mouth or the taste of you still on his tongue, you don’t know which. As the kiss turns more and more frenetic, you gently roll off of Marcus and watch the two of them with undisguised lust.

Dave quickly takes your place, slotting his hips against Marcus’s and never breaking the kiss. Marcus lifts his hips up, subtly grinding into the other man with a little choked gasp.

“Easy, tiger,” Dave teases. “Tonight is about her.”

Marcus makes a soft sound of agreement, but one hand still comes to Dave’s hips to forcefully pull him down again. Dave hisses when their clothed cocks rub together.

“Off,” Dave growls, sitting back on his heels and unbuttoning Marcus’s pants. Marcus’s hands immediately come to his aid, practically ripping his pants and underwear down his legs and kicking them off onto the floor. He pulls his own shirt off, rising as he does to give Dave another kiss. Dave is already unbuttoning his own pants, too, the two of them hastily shedding all barriers until their velvety skin can finally touch. Dave's hand comes down to fist them both together.

“Want you to fuck her first, big boy,” Dave murmurs against Marcus’s lips. “Got her nice and wet for you.”

Marcus hums in agreement and nips Dave’s lower lip playfully before crawling over to you. “That okay with you?” he asks quietly.

“Yes,” you say emphatically, not caring how fucking wrecked you sound right now.

“I’ve got condoms,” Dave says from somewhere on your left. “We’re both clean, but it’s obviously your choice.”

“I’m on birth control,” you whisper. Swallowing thickly, you wrap your hand around Marcus’s bare cock. “I want you just like this.”

Marcus makes a practically obscene sound and drops his head to your shoulder at the feel of your hand.

“Fuck, baby, hang on–” he says breathlessly, lining himself up with you.

You feel a small pang of nerves at the size of him. It’s been so long, you’re not sure if you’re ready for this much.

“Slow,” you whisper, and Marcus nods. He rubs the head of his cock through your folds, collecting the obscene amount of slick that’s gathered there, and gently pushes forward. Your eyes fall shut and you let out a little noise at the stretch of him, and suddenly Dave is there, resting on one elbow beside you.

“Look at me,” he directs, and you force your eyes open and turn your head to face him. Dave gently caresses your cheek, his face inches from yours, as he starts talking to you in that low, husky voice of his.

“Does he feel good?” Dave asks, his lips pursed in a teasing pout even as you struggle to take Marcus’s cock.

“Mmhmm,” you whine, “b-big.”

Dave chuckles. “Don’t inflate his ego too much, pumpkin. Look at you, taking him so well. Not sure who I’m more jealous of right now, you or him,” he jokes with a glint in his eye.

Marcus laughs above you. “Patience,” he says, his voice strained with discipline as he forces himself to slowly let you adjust. “Thought you said tonight is about her.”

“Oh, it is,” Dave agrees darkly, gripping your chin and getting your attention again. “I’m gonna fill up that pretty pussy next, after he’s had his fill.”

Marcus slides slowly in the rest of the way, and you whimper again.

“Sweet thing,” Dave teases, his tone hovering just on the edge of condescension. “So full, aren’t you? You can take it,” he says. “Tell him to move.”

“M-Move,” you whisper obediently to Marcus. “I’m good. I want you to.”

Marcus starts to rock his hips gently, giving you all the time you need to adjust. Any discomfort you may have felt has rapidly dissolved into waves of pleasure, and you start canting your hips up to meet Marcus’s, urging him on, wanting him harder, faster, deeper.

A crack rings out in the room as Dave’s hand lands on Marcus’s ass. “Fuck her,” he scolds. “Look at her, she’s gagging for it.”

Marcus growls low in his throat and starts to really move above you, giving you deep, steady strokes with his cock as Dave watches with hooded eyes.

Marcus might be the one taking you apart, but you can’t keep your gaze off of Dave. His eyes are watching the two of you hungrily, his lips parted. When your eyes meet, he smirks and grips your chin again, not letting you look away.

“Tell him how it feels,” Dave murmurs.

“Oh, God–” you try to turn your head to Marcus, but Dave’s hand stops you.

“No, eyes on me,” he says sternly. “Look at me while you tell him how good he fucks you.”

Your breath catches in your throat, your face heating at the taboo of calling Marcus’s name while you stare right into Dave’s eyes.

“Go on,” Marcus teases above you. “Tell me.”

“Oh, my God, Marcus,” you gasp. “No one’s ever fucked me like this, you–you feel so good, you’re both so good to me, it’s–it’s so deep, and I–fuck–you’re incredible, I want–m-more, I want–” you trail off, unable to articulate anything further.

“Good girl,” Dave praises, “telling him how good he feels.”

Marcus hooks his arm under one of your legs and brings it up, changing the angle slightly as he starts fucking into you harder.

“Play with her,” Marcus demands, sounding wrecked. “Make her cum.”

Dave smirks and brings his hand to Marcus’s lips. The other man moans as Dave slips two fingers between his lips, sucking on them messily and coating them in saliva. He brings them down to your clit and rubs little circles around it.

“Give us another one, pumpkin,” he rasps in your ear, and suddenly you are–falling apart for these men like it’s the only thing you know how to do.

Marcus grunts at the intense squeeze of your pussy around his cock. “Fuck, I’m not gonna last–” he gasps.

“Good,” Dave growls. “It’s my turn. Fuck her full, tiger.”

Marcus’s hips stutter before he surges into you one last time with a broken moan.

“Look so good when you cum,” Dave murmurs beside you, and somehow you know he’s talking about both of you.

Marcus peppers a few soft kisses across your shoulder as he catches his breath, then pulls out and collapses on the bed beside you with a satisfied groan.

“Do you want more?” Dave asks you. “Can you take more?”

At your breathless “Please,” Dave smiles–a devious, wicked thing that makes your pussy clench with a little aftershock.

“Get on your hands and knees, pumpkin,” he tells you, “and put Marcus’s cock in your mouth. See if you can get him hard again.”

“Won’t be difficult to do,” Marcus laughs. He looks at you with an affectionate smile as you turn over and get on your knees. “That okay, sweetheart? You want my cock in your mouth while he fucks you?”

You nod eagerly, eyes wide with want.

“Words, pumpkin,” Dave reminds you from behind.

“Yes,” you breathe. “Yes, I want that.”

You crawl in between Marcus’s legs and take his softening cock in your mouth–making Marcus hiss softly at the oversensitivity.

Dave lines up behind you and swipes his cock through the mess that Marcus had left, and you moan at the depravity of it.

Dave sheathes himself in you in one fluid motion, and you keen loudly around Marcus’s cock.

"Gentle," Marcus scolds playfully.

"You opened her up for me," Dave responds with a smirk.

Marcus’s strokes were deep and overwhelming, but Dave’s are far more brutal. He sets a punishing pace that has you panting in seconds. His hands grab large handfuls of your ass, squeezing it roughly and watching it jiggle as he fucks you. All you can do is whimper and cry around Marcus’s cock as you take it.

Marcus is gently stroking your face, or brushing the hair back from your forehead.

"You're taking him so well," Marcus murmurs. "He's being so rough with you, isn't he?" he asks with a teasing lilt. "Do you like it like that?"

You nod furiously around his cock, and it twitches at the movement. You can feel it starting to stiffen again.

"You're perfect," Marcus is saying softly. "You know that, right? Taking us so well, sweetheart."

You feel Dave's fingers at your clit and you let out a little sob. It's so much.

"Come on," Dave goads. "You can give me another one."

Marcus continues to gently stroke your cheeks and forehead as his cock continues to grow inside you, filling your mouth and pressing down into your throat just shy of discomfort.

"Let him feel how hard you cum," Marcus murmurs to you. "You squeezed me so hard. Show him, let him feel it too."

You hang on the precipice for a few endless minutes, and then Marcus reaches down and brushes a fingertip back and forth across your nipple, then squeezes it gently, and you’re gone. When you cum, your body lurches forward of its own volition, causing you to sink down further on Marcus’s cock. He’s in your throat and you can’t breathe, but you’re helpless to do anything about it as the waves of pleasure crash over you. You’re only vaguely aware of the tears leaking from the corners of your eyes–a consequence of both the overstimulation and Marcus’s cock.

When you finally stop shaking, Dave suddenly leaves, and you pull off of Marcus’s cock in surprise.

"Wait, I–what about you?" you ask, your voice hoarse and high-pitched with delirium.

"Oh, I'm not done," Dave says with a smirk. "You are, though. Lay down, pumpkin.”

You collapse on the bed, utterly spent. Dave is right, of course. You’re sore and throbbing and fucking tired, but you can’t remember a time when you’ve felt this sated.

Marcus is right there, kissing your temple and brushing your tears away. “Good girl,” he whispers in your ear. “Good girl, you did such a good job, sweetheart.”

You offer both of them a dazed, blissed-out smile. Dave is still kneeling on the bed, his cock still flushed and eager. Marcus is lying beside you, caressing any skin he can reach, hard for the second time after being in your mouth.

“What about you?” you ask Dave again, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t worry about me,” he answers with a smirk. “Looks like Agent Pike here is ready to go again,” he teases, and Marcus smiles and rolls his eyes playfully at the nickname.

His smile falters when Dave presses a small bottle of lube into his hand. You watch as something unspoken passes between the two men.

“Are you sure?” Marcus asks quietly.

“I wouldn’t ask, otherwise,” Dave says haughtily.

“You aren’t really asking,” Marcus points out.

“Mm,” Dave agrees. “I’m telling.”

“No,” Marcus says darkly, rising up to his knees as well and palming Dave’s cock. “Ask for it, if you want it.”

Dave purses his lips, his eyes darkening. You think he’s about to refuse, reject this little power struggle of theirs, but as you watch, he softens. He buries his head in the crook of Marcus’s neck, nipping at the skin there before murmuring, “Please.”

Marcus rewards him with a few strokes of his cock.

“Clean her up,” Marcus says, nodding over at you. “Gently. Take good care of our girl, hmm?”

Our girl.

You’re still processing those words as Dave kneels in front of you and lowers his mouth to your pussy, where Marcus’s cum has combined with the slick of four orgasms and is still leaking out of you messily.

He’s gentle as he starts to lap at you, not giving you too much or trying to build you up to yet another peak, just letting you feel the soft, languid slide of his tongue.

Your eyes have fallen shut, but they open rapidly when Dave makes a soft sound of pleasure against your folds.

You vow never to shut your eyes again. Marcus is behind Dave now, working him open with one finger, then two, as he eats the other man’s release from your cunt. You take in the scene, slack-jawed, watching the two of them–both powerful men in their own right, both terrifyingly competent. It’s a sight to behold, seeing them this way, giving in to this power struggle that’s seemed to grip them both since the moment Dave catapulted himself into your lives. You have no doubts that the roles could very easily be the other way around and that neither of them would mind. They seem perfectly matched, in tune with each other despite the conflicts of yesterday–or perhaps because of them.

Marcus adds a third finger, and Dave grunts softly.

“That’s enough,” he says. “I’m good.”

Marcus withdraws and slicks his cock generously with lube. With a steadying hand on Dave’s lower back, he starts slowly pushing in. Dave doesn’t react other than to hiss softly at the intrusion. His mouth is still on you, his tongue only occasionally moving, as if he keeps forgetting and remembering what he’s doing. You’re pretty much clean, anyway, and so raw that the light stimulation is more than enough.

Marcus pushes all the way in and holds for a moment, then gives him one deep, steady thrust.

Dave moans.

“Oh yeah?” Marcus teases, and he snaps his hips forward again.

Dave lets out what can only be categorized as a whimper. Up until this point, the man has been mostly silent–in his own physical reactions, at least, because his dirty talk is clearly unparalleled–but now, with Marcus’s cock buried inside him, he’s uncharacteristically vocal. Any pretense of licking Marcus’s cum out of you now abandoned, Dave rests his head on your abdomen, just above your mound, and surrenders to the feeling.

You get it. Oh, do you get it. Marcus’s cock is thick and he gives it to you with long, overwhelming strokes. It was intense to experience it, but it’s something else entirely to watch. Marcus’s jaw is set, his eyes dark as he watches his cock sink into Dave again and again and again. Dave is still moaning loudly, taking each punishing thrust with his face buried in your stomach.

You card your fingers through Dave’s soft hair, watching in amazement as he gives up his as-of-yet ironclad restraint to your partner, a man you’ve secretly been obsessing over for years, and oh, if you had known how good he was in bed, you might have said something before…

It’s no matter, now–whatever choices you’ve made in the past, they all led to this–this moment, with you, Marcus, and Dave. The three of you. You wouldn’t want it any other way.

Marcus reaches around and fists Dave’s cock. “Gonna cum for us?” he asks softly.

“Mmhmm,” Dave moans. “Keep–”

“That’s it,” Marcus breathes. “I’ve got you.”

Dave makes one last broken sound and you feel a few splashes of his spend on your upper thighs as he comes undone.

“Fuck, you feel good,” Marcus groans. “Oh, fuck–”

You can see the moment Marcus cums–it’s written all over his face, the way the pleasure washes over him. When he stills, he notices you watching him, and he smiles softly.

Oh, you’re far gone for this man.

He withdraws from Dave–eliciting a soft hiss–and Dave collapses beside you on the bed. Marcus swipes a thumb across the man’s cheekbone and leans down to give you a tender kiss on the forehead, and goes to clean up, returning with a cloth for Dave as well. You’re half-asleep at this point, and you say so, mumbling something about being tired that you don’t even understand. It has to only be late afternoon at this point, but you can hardly keep your eyes open.

“Go to sleep,” Dave says, turning and tucking you into his chest.

“Mmhmm,” Marcus agrees tiredly, sliding in behind you. His arm winds around you, caging you in, but his hand is gently resting on Dave’s bicep.

Surrounded by warmth and comfort, you’re asleep within seconds.

#marcus pike #dave york #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x you #dave york x reader #dave york x you #dave york x reader x marcus pike #dave york x you x marcus pike #pedro pascal

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aine-ayase · 3 years ago

Text

halloween headcanons

im gonna burn all my remaining brain juice in this fic instead of studying for my finals and listening to class so i hope you enjoy!

genshin (modern AU) halloween!

tw: mentions of blood(prop) cursing, bad spellings.

the link that i mentioned is at the end of the fic!

Kaeya

feel like this dude will either be a pirate or vampire

totally not adding pirate bc of his story quest, no

Either way-- boob window yes

and he knows that people oggle that small skin showing

yk vampire cookie from cookie run kingdom? imagine him but blue hair

boom kaeya

saw an art on twitter of genshin characters as cookies and i took inspo from that

idk if repost is alright so i’ll link their acc after all the hc

if you’re both gonna do matching couple costumes, i feel like angel and devil would fit

ugh not the basic costume

anyways back to vampire costume

“cool fake blood prop, kaeya!”

“huh? no this is wine”

“wait-”

that was his 8th glass of wine

The rest of your friends were dancing and chatting but your social battery was draining really fast in a short amount of time. At the back of the room, Kaeya was sitting elegantly on the couch. A cup of blood prop in his hands, occassionally bringing it to his mouth to take a “fake” sip. You sat beside him, resting your head on his shoulder which he didn’t make an effort to move and adjusted for you to get comfortable.

“Oh, cool fake prop. Looks kinda real.”

“Huh?” he chuckled at your confused expression, “This is wine, sweetheart.” You nod, watching your friends dance before looking back at Kaeya filling up his wine glass again. “wait. that’s your eight cup!” You quickly try to snatch his wine glass.

Zhongli

ngl i don’t rlly know what costume he would wear-

dragon-- wait no how will that...

remembers zhongli with horns and tail

yea- i asked my classmates in dc they said dragon zhongli as well

WAIT imagine zhongli going on youtube to watch DIY horns ASFdgfh

i feel like his tail would be pretty heavy ngl

dragging that everywhere then someone tripping on it on accident

Then a white robe like the ones on the statue of the seven

While you guys were walking towards the party i feel like kids would just point at him

then ask to take a picture

safe to say you guys were kinda late

and his tail was pretty worn out from all the kids touching it and taking pictures

but don’t worry he made sure to have a bag in case this happens

how can he remember bringing a bag of DIY shit but not his money

one of the great mysteries in life

btw--

just thought of this while making diluc

you dressed up as a royalty

and Zhongli is the dragon that’s possessively stuck beside you through out the whole party and the way home

rlly fits the theme amiright?

You guys were walking towards the party before you hear a high pitched scream from behind you. You and your lover stopped and look back to see a small boy pointing at Zhongli with stars in his eyes. His mother sheepishly looking at the both of you, smiling awkwardly while trying to stop pointing at your lover.

He quickly ran over to you, almost tripping in the process. “Can I take a picture with you!?!” he basically shouted, and your kind lover nods.

Waving goodbye, you both thought that was the last one before it happened again, and again, and again.

“Apologies, dearest. I didn’t know my costume would attract thhis much attention.”

Diluc

I had no idea what costume he would wear until i asked my friend and with no hesitation said batman

thank god i was off cam because I laughed so hard

True tho, dark knight hero = batman

then acts like his lamborgini is batman’s car

idk how to spell shit--

just like Zhongli, gets stopped by kids

but you guys were in the car so maybe after he parked it

has a bag full of candies to bring on the party

but they were given out to the kids instead

then you dressing up as robin (is that the right spelling?idk)

^^genderbent or as is. this is gn so you can pick whatever

very wary at the party, no doubt

even if you guys were having fun, who knows if some drunkards were to approach you

imagine, you were talking to someone then Diluc just watched from behind you

he wasn’t even glaring at the person

that was just his normal resting bitch face

and the person you were talking to got scared and run away

kaeya definitely teased him for that

You continued laughing at your lover as he massaged his face while looking at the borrowed pocket mirror that you had to ask Kaeya for because he “didn’t want his mood to plumel down.”

Your friend ran away because of his face and now he wouldn’t stop being conscious about it. You sighed and shake your head. “I love you just the way you are. Now, how about a dance?”

Xiao

mmmm angy boy

didn’t even want to go to the party in the first place

actually no--

you had to drag him out of bed

and promise almond tofu

shall we make this streamer xiao au?

yes we shall bc no one is stopping me

so like a good lover and number one fan

you came up with a video idea and prepared for it

had to literally bust out a power point presentation to convince the guy

and more almond tofu

the presentation was like;

“me happy? fans happy? everyone happy”

“what about me?”

“...almond tofu?”

insert lady baby (manwha) meme if yk what i mean

fans were thanking you on twitter for making him dress up like that

because on the previous stream;

“what am i going to wear on halloween?” “Nothing. Anyways what good horror game--”

mans literally just brushed it off

Xiao started the stream as normal but fans quickly noticed he wasn’t in his usual spot. Instead he seems to be in the living room. You were wearing his hoodie, mask, sunglasses and gloves to hide your identity but quickly introduced yourself as his lover when they questioned who you were. They were slightly familiar with you because you come in random times to bring him food and water.

“...what the hell are those?” xiao immediately says when he saw you holding a black cat ears. Then proceed to wrestle, trying to put it on his head. (he hissed) He was already wearing an all black outfit with a tail attached on the back but he didn’t noticed that.

very cute vid (says that when i didn’t even say what they were doing and just imagined it) 10/10. comment if you want me to make a separate whole fic of that.

convo of me and my friend;

had to stop for a quiz in our drafting and look at what my teacher included

i didn’t even notice it before my classmates in dc pointed it out for me 😭🖐🏻

the link that i mentioned on kaeya hc: cookie run kingdom x genshin impact

btw what is your halloween costume? mine is white cat albedo 💖

they said to not repost so i linked their acc and if you look at their photos you will see the art there! :))

EDIT: tell me if ^^^ isn't accepted or it's wrong and I'll take it down immediately since I'm not sure ab this stuff 😭

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inkdemonapologist · 4 years ago

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Jack had a long day after session 10.... Sammy’s gonna let him sleep.

[batim call of cthulhu masterpost]

(and a bunch of out of context quotes under the cut!)

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Sammy] Despite last session being PRIMARILY planning, we do not actually have a plan!!!

[Joey] How quickly... can Joey Drew learn... a time control spell... so that we can try ONE of our plans, and if it doesn't work, we can just go back in time and-- [Sammy] Joey, don't-- don't start that, Joey. That's not going to end well. [Joey] IT WORKED BEFORE! [Sammy] YEAH, I KNOW, but I think it's a bad plan! You're gonna have, freakin, "This cartoon didn't do as well I wanted, let's back up! Let's back up, and see if we can make some small changes! BENDY MUST BE PERFECT!" [Joey] This is how Sillyvision actually comes about! [GM] Are you saying... are you saying you aren't comfortable with Joey Drew trying to loop time? [Sammy] YES! That is what I'm saying! I don't think that should happen, I think that will end poorly for those of us who have to participate in Time!

[Sammy] Sammy would not be against bringing it up, but if Jack's like "UH I don't even know if that's possible for me to do, I did it by accident" then he won't, like, push. [Joey] Joey's not going to push, but he's going to be very supportive that you can do anything you set your mind to!

[Jack] Sammy has guns! Just not those ones. [Sammy] Correct. Yes.

[Joey] Prophet did not seem affected by it, at all. [Sammy] *sarcastic laugh* Alright. Fantastic! [Joey] So, I guess I'm letting you know this, not just if you accidentally come across some paint, but if you find yourself having trouble dealing with things, you might be able to use that-- [Sammy] Sammy is GLARING. [Jack] Jack is also giving Joey a look at this! "If you're having trouble, just try drugging yourself!" That sure is, a coping mechanism!

[GM, speaking for Bendy] He does think the Prophet can be a little overzealous, but he's definitely good at getting stuff done! Maybe not the best stuff, but... stuff! [Sammy] Are you sure? He's been trying to sacrifice somebody to the Masked Messenger for like, a year, and it hasn't been working!

[Joey] He could've started trying to fall asleep on the drive over! [Jack] Yeah but then he's going to end up astral projecting on the road! Halfway there! Just watching his body drive away!

[Jack] He's technically gotten the information he was looking for, which is: there are still people in the building, not very many,... He also gained the information: more than Moonlight can see people who are astral projecting,... he gained: Pain, [Jack] All in all I think this was a successful trip!

[Sammy] I'm just so pleased that Sammy is foiling Moonlight all over the place, and generally being very obnoxiously in the way, and Sammy can't even come out that much. [Sammy] Like, he's only existed in his Prophet Form like three or four times! If he could be here as much as Moonlight is here, he would-- tHE MASKED MESSENGER WOULD BE HERE ALREADY. [GM] *laughs* The only thing holding him back. [Sammy] Yes. The only thing holding him back: sometimes he turns into a much more reasonable person.

[Sammy] (Sorry for being so enthusiastic about this, but I'm really enthusiastic about this.)

[Joey] Now that he has a description of the kinds of runes, does Joey know any way to disrupt it? [Henry] I know of a way to disrupt it. [Jack] Last time Henry tried to disrupt something he actually strengthened it, so, [Henry] Okay but this--! But-- okay, yeah, point taken.

[Henry] Basically what happened is, I smeared my blood on one of the symbols-- [Sammy] WHY

[Sammy] You could write "found this," or, if you have room-- [Joey] "We know how to get your family" [Sammy] Y-, mm, that sounds, a little bit ransom-note-y,

[Jack] "Place $1000 1 Slick Stone in an unmarked package under the third tree if you want to see your family again" [Sammy] I think you mean 75 dollars

[GM] Norman is picking through the room; he does find a freaky bone whistle thing, and a weird cold crystal, and some chalk, and a blooodyyyy knife??? Question mark??? [Joey] Well, might as well grab that, [Henry] Yeah, Henry wants that back! [GM] --and a jar with yellow paint in it-- [Joey] ...you can leave the jar with yellow paint in it. [Jack] But the Prophet wants that back!

[GM] He does pretty quickly go "Hey, I know this model!" and some tinkering noises ensue. [Joey] Okay, yeah, take that too! [GM] "I... I can't carry this," he says, "not without a handcart." [Joey] I mean, if he---.... wait, what. [Sammy] (Projector.) [Joey] OH I thought he found the gun. I forgot there was a projector in there. [Joey] Norman, focus!

[Sammy] If Joey would take it, go for it. [Joey] Joey is more interested in Moonlight's stuff than Fowler's stuff. He's trying to get Fowler on their side. [Jack] As a counterpoint, I, personally, as a player, am very curious!

[Henry] Moonlight and Sammy play duelling banjos at each other. [Sammy] That hasn't been written yet, they can't! [Henry] Moonlight and Sammy accidentally invent duelling banjos.

[Joey] Okay, Joey's going to continue to hide in the closet. [Henry] Didn't we say we were going to flicker the lights when we got up to this room? [Joey] Oh yeah. Joey said he was going to do that but he's... not going in there. [Henry] He's not out of the closet yet.

[GM] Norman got a very good mechanical roll and gets the set-up going quite promptly! [Joey] We should hire this guy!

[GM] No, it doesn't look like it helps Jack. [Sammy] No healing for Jack :( [Joey] No healing in Wonderland. (several players start yelling) [Sammy] And now we've discovered everyone in this group who has listened to The Adventure Zone!

[GM] Norman probably makes a joke about "Oh, so you do sleep!" [Joey] When we can. [Sammy] Not often. [Jack] *laughs* Animation, amiright? [Jack] Anyway, so do you wanna work for us?

[Jack] Jack's just getting all of the insanities. [Joey] I want some too! Stop hogging them!!!

[Sammy] So has this just all... come to you? [Henry] Some of it! [Sammy] *narrows eyes* [Henry] Some of it I know what I'm doing! I can use my blood in runes and stuff, but other stuff like blasting the angel, that just... happened. [Sammy] You're as bad as Joey. [Henry] (He looks a bit sheepish at that.) Honestly? I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to get told off. [Sammy] Not sure I have the energy tonight. Let’s rain check on that.

[Sammy] *suspicious* Are you alright in there? [Bendy] Joey did somethin' dumb, but I think we're okay! [Joey] You didn't need to tell him that. [Bendy] Well, we are okay, right? Henry was doin' this yesterday and he's okay! [Sammy] ...what [Henry] What? [Joey] DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! [Bendy] It's okay when it's just a little, right? [Sammy] WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [Joey] I found a cool rock... [Sammy] BENDY, WHAT IS HE DOING [Bendy] Washin' blood off his face! [Sammy] Hm. [Joey] (There's just the thunk of Joey letting his head hit the sink). [Sammy] Sammy has decided not to ask any more questions.

[Sammy] I love the idea that Prophet's like SO LASER-FOCUSED on his hatred of Doc Moonlight, that that's all that Sammy can remember. They're summoning an elder god's avatar in the background and all Sammy can remember is BOY, I HATE THAT GUY!

[Sammy] I think he's going to focus on trying to remember as much as he can, because Joey's gonna give him the Joey version, [GM] You can make another POW roll if he's trying to remember. [Sammy] Oh.... *starting to roll dice* I don't know if you should do this, Sammy... [Sammy] .....96. No. [Jack] He fumbled, [Joey] He fumbles and forgets more??? [GM] No, no, you remember the things you don't want t-- OKAY NOW YOU REMEMBER THE RITUAL!!! [Sammy] OH!! GREAT!!!

[Henry] *coming back online after the session is done* I have something important to share! I got home and got on as quickly as possible to share! [Sammy] Uh huh? [Henry] I realised that Norman should ABSOLUTELY be having out of body experiences too. Because I mean. HE IS THE PROJECTIONIST! [Joey and Jack] *start laUGHING HYSTERICALLY* [Sammy] Oh My Gosh

[Jack] I can't believe that Jack's next Astral Projection Dream is going on a date with Norman. Add to the boyfriend collection! [Sammy] When do I get to astral projection dream date Jack??? [Jack] You were busy astral projection dream dating Joey! [Sammy] Yeah, he looked nothing like his profile picture.

#call of cthulu: haunted hijinx #sammy lawrence #Jack Fain #henry is here too #oBVIOUSLY I HAD TO DRAW THIS #OBVIOUSLY!!!#really soft for the idea that this has happened before when they're working late #sammy just hefts jack up to move him rather than wait for him to wake up

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ifthestarsarewilling · 10 months ago

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here have some random empires smp s1 headcanons. disclaimer some of these may be ooc or just. wrong. because ive only watched pix and scotts series and i dont know all that much about some of the others. anyways here you go

sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes!

okay so scott and xornoth. the boys ever amiright. tje blue and the purple. now hear me out. what if. what if elves have hair thats less pigmented at birth, and more pigmented later in life? like as they grow older, they produce more pigment in their hair, which makes it harder to lie about age in rivendell. especially since hair products from other empires often don't work on elven hair, and those made specifically for elves are very expensive due to the special types of flowers needed for them. now, scott and xornoth were almost identical as babies, with their snow white hair and similar facial features. but when scott sees xornoth during the events of empires? it shocks him, how his brother has black hair. black hair marks a very old elf. how did xornoth get black hair you ask? well, its always possible exor made his hair black for the Aesthetic. but my solution is that time in the other world is faster. scott mourned his brother for centuries. xornoth mourned his for millenia.

now, next up, the (rough) ages of all the empires (and their rulers)

pixandria is the oldest. 100,000 years of recorded history, possibly longer unwritten. and throughout it, their ruler has been called 'pixlriffs'. is it a title, or one man? a god, perhaps? none are quite sure, except the natives of pixandria.

the ocean empire and rivendell, with their long-lived residents, are equally as old. scholars assume around thirty to forty millenia, but the records have been lost. still, the rulers are a fraction of that. elves live a long time, true, but in the grand scale of things half a millenia passes in the blink of an eye. and the ocean empires residents live only slightly longer. the overgrown carries no written records from before the turn of the century, but it is assumed it is around the same age as rivendell.

mythland, the grimlands, and gilded helanthia. all old, and yet so young. they hail from around the same time the lost empire disappeared, and their mortal rulers were compelled to write everything down. fourteen thousand years old. the lost empire had been around for ten thousand years before it- well, before it got lost.

mezalea was ten thousand. plain and simple.

the crystal cliffs was young. barely three thousand, with the children of the inhabitants that settled it still living there.

the codlands is slightly older, almost reaching five thousand years as an official country, rather than a subsection of the ocean empire.

the undergrowth? there was no written records. nothing at all to determine how old the forest was. it was always there, though. the land of fairy tales, where children would run away from witches and find fish with gold inside them.

katherine and scott were betrothed from birth and are actually divorced. same with sausage and pearl, but it was discovered they were actually cousins.

pixandria is millenia ahead of every other empire, in their technology, and they would share, if anyone actually asked nicely.

pix and fwhip have kissed at least once.

everyone says theyre scared of katherine, fwhip, pearl, and scott, when really theyre scared of shrub and pix. fear of the unknown and all that. nobody knows anything about those two.

speaking of pix and shrub, theyre besties. pix senses the life radiating off shrub, and was drawn to her. shrub was initially scared by pix's weird death thing, but eventually realised he didnt exactly know what he was getting into when he made the Deal, and he isnt a threat, so they became bssties. pix also often explored the undergrowth and overgrown before they were settled.

each empire has a unique kind of magic except the grimlands. the ocean empire and the codlands have their old ocean god, pixandria has p̸͍̥̱̤̞̘̗̫̦̏̄į̸͍̹͎͙̼̜̪̗̟͉͐͗̈́̿̽͜x̸͕͒̌̄̀̌͂̃̈͊͘͜l̸̢̨̧̟̺͈̩̱͛̇͜͜͜, mythland has their blood god (technoblade??), the crystal cliffs harnesses magic stored in crystals, the lost empire worships the elements, rivendell has aeor and exor, the overgrown is its own thing, as is the undergrowth (theyre both friends with p̸͍̥̱̤̞̘̗̫̦̏̄į̸͍̹͎͙̼̜̪̗̟͉͐͗̈́̿̽͜x̸͕͒̌̄̀̌͂̃̈͊͘͜l̸̢̨̧̟̺͈̩̱͛̇͜͜͜). gilded helanthia knows how to use magic to harvest and farm. and mezalea has (okay yknow the thing? the thing that makes the clones? yeah that. sorry i cant find what its called.)

lizzie cant cook, but she can bake. joel cant do either.

most rulers were born into their positions. the exceptions are joey (rebuilt the lost empire), pix (maybe), scott (kinda. xornoth was the heir at first), katherine (chosen by the overgrown), shrub (refugee), gem (best student rules ig), and pearl (fight to the death)

uhhm thats the end i guess! thanks for reading all the way down here! well done! :3

once again asking people for their empires s1 headcanons PLEASE i want to read everything that's on your mind, give me everything esmp s1 right now

#empires s1

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tigerellasims · 3 years ago

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Anouk: Hello.

Aurora: Oh my... god. Hello? Who is this?

Zeke: This is Anouk, Elle’s little sister.

Anouk: I can introduce myself, Zeke. Hi, Anouk Wade. That’s spelled A-N-O-U-K. Favourite daughter of Chris and Gloria Wade. Nice to meet ya.

Aurora: Nice to meet you, I’m Aurora.

Anouk: Aurora... A-R-A-W-R-A?

Aurora: *Blinks*

Zeke: She’s been practicing her spelling lately. By the way you ain’t even close.

Aurora: Oh! Actually it’s spelled A-U-R-O-R-A, but that was a really good try. Definitely better than how I spelled it when I was young, and it’s my name after all.

Anouk: *Grins* you’re pretty.

Aurora: Oh, thank you sweetheart, so are you-

Anouk: Almost... too pretty. What’s the catch?

Aurora: The... catch?

Anouk: Are you mean?

Aurora: No?

Anouk: Hate animals?

Aurora: No, I love animals.

Zeke: Why you grillin�� her, Anouk?

Anouk: I have to make sure that she’s not a witch, Zeke. Duh?

Aurora: Oh, well then by all means, grill away.

Anouk: Okay... do you secretly lure lost children to your witchy house in the swamp with breadcrumbs?

Aurora: *Laughs* Oh gosh, I’m sorry for laughing. No I definitely do not do that. In fact, quite the opposite. I’m actually hunting for witches who do that, you know, to save all those poor children.

Anouk: Really?? Okay, I’ve decided. I like you.

Noelle: Oh, I see you’ve met my sister. Anouk, stop accusing my friends of being witches, it’s rude. Rory, come meet my dad, he’s in the kitchen.

Anouk: Big sisters, amiright?

#TS4 #ts4 legacy #ts4 story #bloom legacy reboot #BLRG1 #Aurora Bloom #noelle wade #zeke #anouk wade

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cerberus253 · 4 years ago

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Demon Deep Dive (JCA)

Someone asked if I could do headcanons for the Eight Demon Sorcerers from Jackie Chan Adventures, so here it is, and more! Much more oh God...

Canon Stuff

All seven Demon Sorcerers HATE Shendu for his conniving nature and deceptive past towards/with them (Drago just hates him because father issues)

The Demon Sorcerers do not need external objects to perform spells, for it simply comes from their physical being

They are all old fucks

There are plenty more demon sorcerers, but these eight/nine are all those that were ever mentioned

All want to rule the world

Everyone, aside from Shendu, actually somewhat care about each other and agree to rule the world together. Why is that even though they shouldn’t have “social urges“ because of their biology? We’ll discuss that later

Looking back on the very first episode they were all in together, they are fucking in sync as all Hell! They were finishing each others’ sentences, they knew what each one was thinking. Damn, son, they be tight AF; family goals, amiright?

How to start a Demon Sorcerer meeting: Step 1) Find Po Kong, Step 2) Call everyone else over because it would take too long moving her at all

About the individual demons themselves (Most of this is reworded from the Wiki, but confirmed through watching their episodes):

Hsi Wu

Guerilla tactics for the win

Oddly patient, ya know, for someone so kind of childish

Becomes bored easily, so he has the knack to pick on his siblings and humans, with the latter being in more vicious and cruel ways

Aside from Shendu, Hsi Wu is the most bullied by his siblings (it’s because he’s small, isn’t it??)

Although he hates Shendu like the rest of his siblings, he is more “cold and apathetic“ towards him, with occasionally getting along, albeit extremely slight

High pitched noises hurts his ears

“His wings are sharp enough to cut through concrete“

Playful, although in a sadistic way

Simply flies to get where he needs to be

Likes to pester and make fun of Po Kong specifically

He just. Constantly smiles or has this big wide, toothy grin on his face all the time

*gremlin noises* *cat hisses*

Best/Worst Actor Award goes to...

Tso Lan

Sophisticated and more-or-less monotone sounding, he is always on alert with his senses. Despite this, his reaction timing is awful

Seemingly emotionless, his relaxed demeanor breaks when something doesn’t go his way. He does display some sarcasm, though

According to the wiki, he is very hard to please and never compliments anyone. What a stuck-up asshole

Along with Bai Tza and Xiao Fung, he is one of the more authoritative demon figures of the family

He apparently is one of the elder siblings

He is one of the most powerful sibling because he can bring the fucking Moon out of fucking orbit like it is nothing

He is Shantae He can control his hair, as well as float and glide gracefully

He can survive in space

He does indeed have legs, for he has been seen walking ONCE and we get to see his boots (Demon World (Part 2))

Shendu (My apologies, but not my regret, about if you are upset with me and my loathing for Shendu)

Selfish asshole who doesn’t like sharing, even with his family

Everybody Hates Shendu and Shendu Hates Everybody, and they all want each other dead, including Drago

Legit, he made a truce with Uncle, the mortal enemy, so he could horribly punish Drago. What a good father, amiright???

Can hold a grudge for, like, ever and hardly ever keep his promises. He also willingly admits he’s a traitorous bastard

Greedy and sophisticated asshole

Like, Jesus Christ, I wanted to give Shendu some slack because I did not want myself to be blinded by hatred for the guy, but my God is he the worst

“Shendu is not only devoid of compassion and sympathy for mortals, but also cares little to nothing for his family-members - this is displayed most markedly by how he left his siblings to rot in the Netherworld so he could rule the Earth himself.“

“Father and son's relationship was so toxic that Shendu even declared when Drago was being sucked into an interdimensional rift that his son deserved no less than to be trapped on the other side for his disloyalty.“

“Despite this, in response to Drago's apology and profuse pleading, Shendu visibly contemplated for a moment and hesitantly decided to try saving Drago from his fate (with a warning that his son must remember he is second to Shendu while they're on Earth), suggesting Shendu might genuinely care about his son to some extent (or at the very least, as close to caring about another being as Shendu is capable of).“ Um, not sure if I agree on the “genuinely care“ part, but totes on board with the “just wants him for a playing chip“ thought

Although he may be one of the most powerful demons of the family, that does not stop his siblings from actively going against him, which surprisingly makes Shendu submissive to them. Hmm...

He legit cares about no one but himself and that is no overstatement. I’m sorry to all those fangirls out there :V

Once ruled all of China

Shendu gets all whiny and high pitched, often stuttering, when expressing fear (which is every single time he gets a family reunion, which reminds me...)

He can be such a cheeky charmer

Although Shendu only cares about himself, he does seem pretty observant with recognizing what others do want, and of course uses that to his advantage. Hm, observant guy; no wonder he has fangirls

Tchang Zu

Not that talkative, even during fights, and rather only speaks when he feels the need to. However, when he does speak, it is rather loud and/or commanding

Hates when he isn’t respected, especially out of fear. He hates it so much he verbally explodes with anger when something personal to him is disrespected

Is willing to get down and dirty when reaching his (and his siblings’) goals

Is most likely the most colorful with his wording and admiring architecture

Really only attacks those he deems worthy (apparently there was a crowd of humans he only bothered scaring away and not attacking, even though they only saw him as entertainment?)

Become Goku Flies on a cloud to get where he needs to be

Oh my God he sits criss-cross-applesauce

Dai Gui

A little under average intelligence, but his brutality and strength make up for it, being an absolute bulldozer with anything that stands in his way

I must reinforce the “a little under average“ part because he does use the word “ludicrous,“ which is no caveman word

Violent and macabre imagery is his verbal forte

A big bully, since he loves throwing his authority around to those under him

Similar to Tchang Zu, Dai Gui is also willing to do dirty work, but mainly for himself than for others

Absolutely LOATHES “pretty“ things, like flowers

Sometimes talks in third person

Seems to prefer using his raw strength than his magical powers

Laughs at his own jokes

Persistent and dedicated. Nice!

Po Kong

Hungry Hungry Hippo; food is always on the mind, I wouldn’t be surprised if her want to rule the world was second on her list

Although she can and would eat anything, she is still picky

Her favorite flavor is human and salt

She knows French (ah yes, one of the “Love Languages”)

She snores

Po Kong likes to torment Hsi Wu

She can walk on her own

Favorite food: Human

Bai Tza

Hates Shendu the most

Most outspoken and dominating out of all the demons (”verged on superiority complex”)

Tends to deal with situations more realistically, as well as learning from past mistakes

Despite her intelligence, her hubris still gets the best of her

Along with Tso Lan and Xiao Fung, she is one of the more authoritative demon figures of the family

Apparently didn’t have humans living in her palace, which was Atlantis

Can levitate

Bunch of banshee screeches. Yeesh

Xiao Fung

Talkative and slimey diplomat that prefers debating with his siblings rather than arguing and fighting

Enjoys fights to the death between his underlings

Has an interest in drama and being a part of it

Seems to be the most cooperative and decent when working with humans. Cool!

Absolutely despises the Netherworld so much that a human prison is “paradise“ to him

Along with Bai Tza and Tso Lan, he is one of the more authoritative demon figures of the family

Need to get somewhere? No problem, just jettison your way with wind bellows from your lungs through your mouth

Although he does care for his siblings, it’s apparently not enough to “carry the burden“ of freeing them. Maybe it’s out of pure laziness? He does seem against doing active things (other than blowing wind, which only he can do)

Headcanon Stuff

Why do the Demon Sorcerers (besides Shendu) actually care for one another and agree to share the Earth between each other? I did say they do not possess the inherent-to-parent instinct, but I never said they were not social animals. The demons may not have the need to reproduce or want sexual anything, but they do posses the need/want to have company, which is kind of supported by the fact that canonically and in real life, Chinese demons mainly want to be praised and treated like gods. One cannot be considered a god, nor be praised in general, if one does not have beings beneath or beside them for confirmation

So, in a way, you could say they all desire some sort of reassurance of their importance.

Their relationship with humans is understandable, given from with what I just said, but the relationship between one another is a little more... deep? They obviously consider each other legit family, so they do care about one another (with some rough-play rivalry), but I think it’s less on the biological factor and more of the “fitting in“ factor.

Here’s my theory: Yes they are biologically family, but they did not view each other as such originally. After a while of being with one another, experiencing similarities, they became family-close in the metaphorical sense (in addition to the literal sense). This would explain how Shendu could have lost touch with them intimately while the others did not with each other, all the while still considering each other as family.

So, despite my whole push on the demons having little compassion, they do still harbor it; expressing it through family feelings. However, just like humans, there are always those who posses less compassion than the average person, and that would be Shendu. Shendu is the psychopath of the family-- the Black Sheep, if you will

In addition, theoretically, for all those fangirls and guys out there, they could love you like a precious pet. Just sayin’ (so, like, imagine the Demon Sorcerers having human pets and treating them like we do our own “Look how much of a chonkster my human is!” “Oh yeah? Well mine started getting ready for winter early; look at this massive boy-o!” I call my cats “stupid, stinky babies who I love” and then proceed to cuddle them all the time :V)

Fuck it, they have family movie/theatre nights because I find it endearing even though it may be Out of Character

To begin this next section, I want to state that the Demon Sorcerers are based on The Bagua. However, it is merely their elements that are the inspiration, not anything with the philosophy behind Bagua. However however, I will be looking into it and seeing what the Bagua has that still can reflect on the sorcerers. In other words, instead of basing the demons on the Bagua, I’ll be “basing“ the Bagua on the demons, if that makes sense.

Smol

Hsi Wu’s kingdom was probably located on the eastern coast of the USA

Judging by that teacher’s transformation with some of his chi, he may have “avian tendencies” with flying south for the winter and building nest-like structures

Probably the most convincing one to “befriend“ a human. Not because of his past friendship with Jade, but because people could relate to him of being picked on from size and lack of abilities, in addition to being more approachable because of his size and playfulness

His demeanor is mostly childlike, especially with how cruel children can be

Probably dislikes orchestral music, especially violins, flutes, the triangle, etc

Would most likely become a memester. Maybe.

“How do ya do, fellow kids?“

Likes to listen to music/singing while doing things and stuff. So, maybe he has to be distracted to some degree to be content, or he will be grumpy? (AD(H)D)

Real Talk: At one point in Tale of the Demon Tail (where Jade “befriends” Hsi Wu, or really his persona), Hsi Wu’s persona of being Jade’s friend actually disintegrates. Meaning, that “mask“ he put on to befriend Jade, at one point dissolved into an actual aspect of himself. So, when he answered Jade’s question of ‘are you going to the dance‘ or whatever, his initial response was that of an actual human-child Hsi Wu friend. While yes he was still acting, his initial response was almost unconscious, and then he realized what he was saying and said the other thing. I mean, it could have easily been “Nah, that’s stupid-- oh wait, that’s a good idea to get inside the house, actually,“ but that still follows the unconscious response action. What am I getting at here? Well, the interaction the two had proves that a clump of Hsi Wu’s personality does click with Jade. I’m not saying “I ship it“ or anything, what I’m saying is their personalities attract one another in general and could work between two different characters. As much as they seem to get along, there are other characteristics the two have that oppose one another and definitely shatters that friendship. So, Jade and Hsi Wu Being Friends? No; Some Personality Traits They Have Connect to One Another in General and Could Work Between? Yes.

The ye olde game of Chase is probably his favorite. Ya know, the game where you chase people around? Yeah, any game where he gets to chase/hunt his pray would be his favorite

Very similar to Shendu, Hsi Wu is one of the craftier folk of the family. However, unlike Shendu, creativity is his primary weapon which is, of course, used to make up for his size.

Similar to Xiao Fung, Hsi Wu is also one of the siblings that listens and pays attention the most. Their difference being is the information he learns is more for his selfish advantage than a “getting along” way.

Despite his dishonesty towards Jade, he is the most integral to himself. What I mean is, while yes all the demons follow their demon ethos, I believe Hsi Wu is the most true to himself and wouldn’t back down or reject something he is honestly interested in. However, probably because he knows how others know him, he can use this integrity to fool others into believing him with ease.

Hsi Wu is also probably the most inclined to have faith in others, but this DOES NOT mean he easily trusts people. What I’m saying is he may not easily trust others, but when he does, that faith in them is near unwavering

“The Beauty of Mischief”

“Lord High Lord of the Sky,” or “Lord High Lord of Firmament”

Vamps

Tso Lan’s “kingdom“ was probably located on the Moon

Like all sophisticated assholes, he probably enjoys reading, but only books that deal with the fall of humanity and apocalypse stuff. Maybe even some space stuff, like the movie Interstellar? (Star Wars can kiss his ass, though)

Can posses dark matter? Because of his dark magic bolts and his affinity with gravity?

Doesn’t like being around people. His siblings are fine, but he rather not have company, judging by how he most likely spends his time on the Moon and rarely visits Earth. Antisocial personality disorder much??

Like we have stated earlier, Tso Lan never gives out compliments, for he is oh so difficult to please. He watches intently and is careful with his neutral wording, always sounding cold and cruel. However, despite his emotionless disposition, he does have some ugly colors. For example, he does get angry, especially when he is interrupted. Example two, he does take pleasure in tormenting his enemies. However, the good color of natural tranquility explains his seemingly “lack of emotion.”

If he can ever “give respect” to anyone, it’s probably so difficult to achieve it should be considered impossible. But hey, if you do somehow get his compliments, consider yourself special, home slice! In addition, it’s probably also highly unlikely to get him to laugh. Like, not even a chuckle. Maybe a sarcastic and flat “Ha,“ but nothing too intense.

He may not think of himself as king or an emperor, but he does view himself as some sort of higher metaphysical power, like a pontiff. In addition, he probably sees his position being the highest because of his throne on the Moon and his power over gravity (and maybe dark matter). Being used to this placement, he has distanced himself from just about every living thing, being untainted with normal, petty desires. Oh but being a demon has its drawbacks, for wanting is in the blood. Meaning, there are most likely some things out there that he may desire (Fanfic Writers, assemble!)

You want him him to talk dirty to you? Why yes, you should keep good hygiene and not be smelly. Real Talk, though, because of his lack of emotion words, he probably would have difficulty conveying emotion verbally. But hey, his voice and tones are enough to get anyone aroused :V

Might secretly like dancing, but only simple ones. Like, The Waltz would be the most active he’d like

Might also hum tunes every so often. Despite that, he still prefers silence over noise of any kind.

“The Beauty of Isolation”

“Lord High Lord of the Moon,” or “Lord High Lord of Satellites”

Shit Dad

Probably studies magic the most and has a huge library filled to the brim with spell books and whatnot

Drago may be on his mind a lot, but probably not for any positive reason

Probably had Drago made for that thing in Taoism where two beings can connect one another metaphysically, and if one is in trouble (like they died or something), the other can help out (and resurrect if need be). Or, he wanted someone that wasn’t human on his side because he’s sure as Hell his siblings won’t side with him

While Drago is way more hotheaded than his Dad, it seems Shendu is more likely to let a petty grudge get in the way of his goals

Shendu hates family reunions

Dude’s a mad scientist

Probably regrets having Drago

Oh God, oh fuq, it’s the Big Bad Dragon that wants everything for himself. He must know what his name translates to because oh boy does he feel entitled to his mighty sovereignty. Like, he lusts for power so much that no amount of trickery could mask his clarity of greed, ya know, like a “true” dragon. What he wants, he will obtain, with let nothing obstruct his path… other than a petty grudge. He’s so full of passion and thermal rage he sticks out like a sore thumb amongst his brethren. He would even sink to deep lows to get what he desires, even if it is heavily depending on humans, lying, cheating, and stealing from his own family, doing forbidden things with humans to have a “son” he only wants to use as a playing piece, and even bend reality to his liking.

However, I must say it is impressive and admirable how adaptive he is with every situation he finds himself in. He is rather courageous and would try anything to reach his goal, even if it is siding with the enemy. Shendu speaks in sophistication and eloquence, to which the latter trait he shares with Xiang Zu, despite his childlike outbursts of rage.

He may not be the most elementally powerful sibling, but he is The Best with knowledge about other magics like spells and potions.

He does perform the stereotype of “dragons are beasts of greed” exceptionally well, which, I can admit, is pretty hot, being a monster lover myself

Something I’ve noticed with his face is that he lacks lips, which are replaced with external tooth-like structures. This actually forces the creators to make him expressive through other means, like his eyes. So, he’s expressive, and he fits the draconic poem I read in a book somewhere “Beware the glint in a dragons’ eye/ It is cold as ice to the liar/ It is sharp as a knife to the knave/ It is hard as iron to the greedy/ It is a burning flame to the brave.”

“The Beauty of Wrath”

“Lord High Lord of Fire,” or “Lord High Lord of The Thermal”

Sparky

Tchang Zu’s kingdom was probably located on the western coast of the USA

Would request for extravagant buildings and structures, as well as being a big fan of theatre (Beowulf, anyone?)

I can imagine him having a deep, boisterous laugh that is an award to trigger

Probably the best war strategist, everyone would hate playing Axis and Allies with him (He’d either play Russia for the size, or Germany because, well, you know)

(I’m just repeating what I’ve already stated, but whatever.) Similar to Tso Lan, Tchang Zu is careful with his words. However, what the latter does is speak only when he deems it appropriate, and sometimes with eloquence. When he does share his thoughts, it is in an assertive tone, making everyone stop and listen.

Tchang Zu is rarely ever caught off guard and surely plants himself where he stands, literally and figuratively. Despite his assertiveness, he does not come off as one of the most “authoritative” figures of the family. Instead, he’s more of an overseer and commander, making sure everything is falling in line under his, and his siblings’, iron-fist.

He is one of the few that would take the initiative when confronting a problem, which must be pretty terrifying for the opposition, seeing as how intimidating he is. Oof. Although he is on the shorter side, it does not bother him, for he knows his power is just as great as his siblings’.

Unlike his siblings, he wouldn’t be one of the “crafty” folk. What I mean is he isn’t a trickstery cuck like Hsi Wu and Shendu, but actually follows demon code and honor. I mean, not that “demon honor” is anything greater or equal to “human honor,” but the point still stands. What is “Demon Code and Honor” you ask? I dunno, watch Jackie Chan Adventures and observe demon culture yourself.

His demeanor may be slow and steady, but when he fights and flashes lightning, so much power and energy erupts from within. Majestic

Knows how to use semicolons properly

“The Beauty of Imperiality”

“Lord High Lord of Thunder,” or “Lord High Lord of Electricity”

Dai Guinguini

Dai Gui’s Kingdom was probably located on the western coast of Europe, maybe more specifically Spain

Let’s take that “hates pretty things“ even further beyond. The words “delicate and innocent“ usually come to mind when the words “pretty“ and “flower“ are shown. So, I headcanon he hates weak and fragile looking things, as well as cute. The more petite and dainty something looks, the more of an urge to destroy rises up

Probably needs to hold down a vomit when seeing romance in any medium (lava vomit?)

Also probably iffy on crystals and gems. Like, they are shiny and pretty and are sometimes delicate, but man, the massive structures these things can form into is crazy.

Dai Gui reminds me of the colossi in Shadow of the Colossus when viewed just wandering around. We know he acts like a brute and hates petite things, and is quite aggressive when he fights, but there’s something about him that makes me think of some majestic creature that likes to walk around all alone in a wide open space. There is some beauty to his “monstrosity” and I feel like that’s overlooked by him always being described as, well, a brute.

Although not as intense as Shendu’s, rage can also be a common sight with Dai Gui, but it’s mostly from his non preferred environments. Also, similar to Tchang Zu, Dai Gui appreciates his structural surroundings, but has a more keen interest in its earthly variety. Mountains, canyons, plains, plateaus, mesas, volcanos, deserts, etc. would be his ideal territory. Like I have mentioned before, I feel like he’d often roam around his landscape, constantly fixing and changing anything he desired.

Even though he doesn’t like flowers and such, I do not think he hates nature in general. Maybe most of it, but not all. He may like huge ass trees for their size and might, grasslands (like savannas) because, although grass is all over, it still gives a vast emptiness of calmness, which deserts give a vast emptiness of despair.

Quick note, I’m not saying he’s artistic and elegant. What I am saying he isn’t just a dumb idiot caveman that just lusts for destruction, but rather actually has a hobby of shaping the earth. Yes, he might find the terrestrial variety of the earth interesting, but he isn’t all, like, “Hmm yes, insert fancy art words here;” he’s more like “Hm yes, me like; I shall do more over there” and then just… does it without any pre planning or anything.

Not only does he like creating earthly structures, but also destroying them. Have you ever built something so cool (or have just seen something so cool) with Legos or whatever, and for some reason want to destroy it just because ‘ha ha destruction fun’? Yeah, that’s him sometimes.

I’d also like to add he likes bugs. Not only eating them, but also admiring their earth shaping tendencies. Their structures won’t stop him from eating them all, but he does like to see what they make before the big snack

I bet he likes to sunbathe sometimes. Mmmmm, warm rocks always feel good. Cool rocks, too! (This also made me think of belly rubs… hmm)

“The Beauty of Incessance”

“Lord High Lord of Earth,” or “Lord High Lord of Formation“

Mount Vesuvius

Po Kong’s kingdom was probably located in Japan, and/or Japan itself

Most likely the one to zone out on meetings with just thoughts on food (ADD maybe?)

Although she’d eat anything, Po Kong probably appreciates and remembers excellent meals. In addition, she probably could describe in detail of various tastes

Or, alternatively, since she eats so much all the food just blends together

Apparently, humans taste like chicken. So maybe, genetically create giant ass chickens, like in Skyrim, and feed her that if humans become scarce and/or too small for satisfaction

Probably the most difficult demon to satisfy, but not just because of hefty demands, but because she is practically the personification of gluttony. Like, I’m sure she can and will eat anything she wants, even inorganic things. She likes it? Nom. She hates it? Nom. She will never be fulfilled until she has consumed all… or until she explodes or whatever. I’m being dramatic.

Luckily, she is not picky. Unluckily, she is also picky. I guess it just depends on her hunger mood. One day, she may want just a bunch of salty snacks, likes chips and fries, and on another day she may want a giant bundt cake filled with gooey human flesh and blood.

Legit though, her kingdom/empire would be the number one food place in the entire world, with having the largest kitchen and all the best cooks (ha ha, like a collection. You could say she would have Too Many Cooks, but “too many” doesn’t exist in Po Kong World!). She would have food critics to make sure the meals she really wants to enjoy taste wonderful. Dude, like, imagine Gordon Ramsay and Guy Fieri at her command. She’d laugh her ass off with Ramsay yelling at people and Fieri with all of his antics; they’d be her favorite little humans. Funny, they’d both still be practically doing the job they do now, just being ordered around by a tyrannical demon who also likes food.

Has no interest in video games and picture shows, but does have the interest in the unique food that appears in them and of course demands them to be made for her.

To get on her “good side” is to be absolutely loyal to her and her eating habits. Ya gotta make the best meals, serve them in delightful ways (she actually doesn’t care about any fancy stuff, but appreciates the effort if done right).

I bet she likes getting spoiled. I mean, yeah, all the demons would want gifts rained down upon them, but they wouldn’t express as much glee as Po Kong would. She’d probably sound condescending half the time, but hey, at least she’s happy and smiles. Gotta give her big gifts though. Go big or go home, folks.

Just like us folk, she prefers Maximum Comfort when eating. That means sitting in her favorite chair, eating from her favorite dish, and watching her favorite entertainment pieces.

Ya into vore? She’s your woman *finger guns*

“The Beauty of Indulgence”

“Lord High Lady of the Mountains,” or “Lord High Lady of Beasts“

What do you call a fish without eyes? A Fsh

Bai Tza’s kingdom is factually Atlantis, but in the JCA universe, Atlantis might be close to the southern coast of Europe in the Mediterranean Sea

She’d be the one initially planning family get-togethers

Do I dare say I could imagine her being a dominatrix? Yeah sure

Similar to Tso Lan, she has/had an isolated kingdom away from humanity, but unlike her brother she most likely had subjects, which lived coastal in southern and south-east Europe, Northern Africa, and the Middle-East. Every civilization took a part in building her castle and its decor, but soon after it was complete, she sank it to the bottom of the Mediterranean Sea, never to be gazed upon with mortal eyes ever again.

Although she can survive in either, Bai Tza prefers warm and salty waters over cool and fresh waters.

Because of her unique bond with water, which literally has her able to morph to and fro between a liquid and solid state, she probably traveled and oversought numerous locations around the world, with any place being close to warm and salty seas. Did she hold dominion over them? Maybe, seeing as how just the Mediterranean Sea and most of its surrounding land is quite small for a kingdom when compared to her siblings’ territories.

Bai Tza may not be one of the most powerful siblings, but she is the most feared. She’s able to restrain herself when angry, she thinks outside the box when confronting obstacles, and her dynamism makes her tricky to confront. She is straightforward, blunt, and has a wicked and sharp tongue. Like stated before, she is one of the more outspoken relatives, being very dominant in every activity she takes part in. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was a control freak. However, enjoying her power so much leads her to be arrogant, making her hubris the number one weakness.

Bai Tza is probably the most cruel because she actively thinks about the damage she can cause instead of just doing it. Despite her cruelty, she isn’t heartless; she may in fact be the one that cares about her family the most, with having the most hatred for Shendu because of his betrayal to said family. On a side note with Drago, she probably rejects him mostly for his differences than his relation with Shendu, but of course the latter still counts. So, welcoming those into her tight personal circle would be a ‘no.’

Despite her evilness, she can and will compliment things that amuse her, and being super protective of them like personal property.

Would drown ships with anti-demon supporting humans on them, as well as anyone who enters her territory without permission. Probably could be convinced with gifts, but they better be good.

Theoretically could forgive past mistakes, but they must be made up with something equal or greater amount to said mistake.

Likes to wear jewelry, especially gold.

“The Beauty of Absolution“

“Lord High Lady of Water,“ or “Lord High Lady of the Abyss“

Froggy

Xiao Fung’s kingdom was probably located in Latin America

One of the smarter siblings, Xiao Fung prefers to discuss and debate over physically fighting. Not sure why, but maybe because he doesn’t view physical fighting as something “high ups” do; all of the dirty work is for the peasants beneath them. However, if forced and there being no other way, he would partake.

Knows the art of conversation quite well and usually dishes out the best conversations. He may not be eloquent like Tchang Zu, or very particular with his words like Tso Lan, but damn can he keep a conversation going if need be. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d yak with others if he’s bored. Maybe try talking some existential stuff with him; that’d be neat. Or keep asking ‘why’ like an annoying child, and he’d probably be tricked into answering each one, with getting annoyed more and more the longer it all goes on.

Despite his laziness, he still would do activities that require his assistance, as long as it’s something only he can do. If there is someone else available, he’ll leave it to them.

Xiao Fung is probably one of the more “approachable” demons, being how he doesn’t immediately give off “fear and respect me or die” vibes. He’s still intimidating, but to those with any amount of courage could muster up to confront him. Ya know, if it isn’t anything personal to him, then in that case you’d be the one telling everyone how terrifying he is, also, ya know, if he lets you go back to your village.

It wouldn’t surprise me if he had decision making issues when it comes to something he likes vs something useful/”right”

If a human went up to him and made a deal, he most likely would take it as long as he gets something in return that he wants, as well as the odds being in his favor.

Human antics are strange and insignificant, but they are still intriguing to him and would converse about it. Just don’t think you’d make him change his opinion on us; that won’t happen, fo sho.

The most forgiving and patient of the family, although it may not be by much. It most likely stems from his diplomatic character, being willing to discuss situations, even thoughts he leans more against. It’s really the subjects she is 100% not on board with he will not discuss, but something around 70%-60% he’d be more willing to listen to. Whether he actually agrees with you and is not just listening for amusement is another story.

Really enjoys music, favoring well put together orchestral.

Could hold some serious long notes, and probably sing in all sorts of keys (Dude. Singing bass)

Dude probably loves board games like chess.

Tchang Zu and him probably get along well because of shared interests in theatre and strategy games.

Would be the one to bring up topics to get everyone arguing if things got boring, like politics. In addition, he would also bring up playing the “Friendship Ender” games we all know and love, like Uno and Monopoly.

While Hsi Wu carries the “shit eating smile,” Xiao Fung has the “smug cat” face.

“The Beauty of Disruption“

“Lord High Lord of Wind,“ or “Lord High Lord of Currents“

Bonus Factoids Upon my Research

Theoretically, because it is stated that the Twelves Talismans are physical manifestations/vessels of Shendu’s powers, the other eight sorcerers (this includes Drago) could have their own Twelves Talismans

Apparently, killing/destroying a demon causes the disruption of balance within the universe, causing a “stronger evil“ to manifest and fill that “wound.“ So, again, theoretically, could a “stronger good“ happen as well if a situation summons/calls for it??

Sadly, according to Shendu, the all chi-absorption thing Drago did at the end of Season 5 is irreversible. So, canonically, Drago is technically forever stuck as a Cthulhu abomination. I am forever sad. Like, yeah I’m a terato lover, but I really prefer Drago as normal :’( However, Shendu answered to a human using a man-made chi spell. What if the actual Demon Sorcerers did a chi spell, to which apparently is conductible without external means? Could they be powerful enough to reverse it if all of them worked together???

[Chinese and English Name/Japanese Name- Chinese Translation/Japanese Translation]

Hsi Wu/Tokage- Evil Lizard/Small Lizard

Tso Lan/Kyuketsuki- Flood maker/ Vampire

Shendu/Kiryu- God of All (oof)/Spirit Dragon

Tchang Zu/Oni- Soldier of Madness/Ogre

Dai Gui/Shishi- Great Ogre/Stone Lion

Po Kong/Daikaiju- Feared Cliff/Giant Monster

Bai Tza/Nisei- Force of Defeat/Second Generation

Xiao Fung/Keroro- Little Wind/Frog

Early Christmas gift to y’all :V

God I hope this is good enough. I’ve been spending all my free time working on these guys just to get the original ask done. Don’t get me wrong, I did like doing this and forming at least some kind of unique character with each, but I am so exhausted from how long I’ve been working on it. It’s mainly my fault for being such a try hard, so don’t blame yourself, Anon who asked for this; you all good, bruv.

#jackie chan adventures #jca #eight demon sorcerers #demons #hsi wu #tso lan #shendu #tchang zu #dai gui #po kong #bai tza #xiao fung #canon #headcanons #oh my god this was a lot of work #and dedication

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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years ago

Text

Horror Villains / Misc x Reader || Drabbles

Plot: You accidentally summon Beetlejuice because he convinced you that he could help you with your Slasher problem, but he becomes an even worse problem. So, you need your Slasher to help you exterminate him, instead.

Includes: Chucky / Charles Lee Ray and Freddy Krueger

Warnings: It’s got nasty gremlin man in it (Meaning, gross language, dirty jokes and such), and also Slashers (Meaning, gore, swearing, course and suggestive language). Groping (Himself)

Notes:

Okay, those of you who were with me at MainstreamBaddies; You remember that post I wrote about some rando killer trying to get the reader, so reader goes to the Slasher that’s also trying to kill them for help?

Well this is basically that but with (Movie) Beetlejuice as the rando.

THERE WAS MEANT TO BE MORE CHARACTERS!! But its late and I wanna slep ^^ Hopefully I’ll do Ghostface and Jason tomorrow!

~~~

THE START / ‘Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice’

“So… “Worrying my bottom lip, I look from the wall where I can think properly to the small, ‘fun size’ version of ‘Beetlejuice’ who’s looking expectantly at me. Excited even.

Although I guess that’s a given. If I was that small and had the possibility sitting right in front of me, of growing back to full size, and full power again, I’d be jazzed too. But, still, there’s something very off about this guy, and it isn’t just the fact that he’s the size of maybe 2 thumbs snapped off at the knuckle and taped one on top of the other. He’s very enthusiastic.

In a Gollum-Swamp Monster-Chick Hicks kind of way.

“’So’, what? I don’t have all day baaaaaay – well, I do have all day. I got nowhere to be – not many fun joints for a guy to go to at this size, amiright? Yeah, but, that’s not the point! Do you wanna get rida’ your lil’ problem or not? Eh?” Beetlejuice is practically vibrating, like an alarm clock and I have the most impulsive urge to call his name three times just to stop it.

Luckily, I have impulse control.

“Of course, I do. I… “Eyeing him pointedly, I start wringing my hands. “I just don’t want to create a new problem, in its place.”

He rolls his dark, feral racoon-panda eyes, muttering something lightning quick to himself before throwing out his arms and yelling. “BABE! I promise ya, really, sweetheart. Baby-lemon pie-dumpling-doll-dollar-sugar-tea, I’m just gonna fix your problem! All I want in the world right now is t’ cum-plete our deal! Get rida’ your Slasher, and be on my way! Unless theirs somethin’ else you ask of me, eh? When I’m back to my normal size? You know, I’m big in all the right places sugar tit- “

I took a deep, necessary breath in when he started on the ‘something else’ and now have the required breath to drown out the last words. “Oooookay!! I wont need that.” I say quickly, as a statement. He licks his lips. “But, um… Are you sure you can get rid of them?” ‘Them’. The bane of my existence right now. The co-star in the horror movie of my life. That them.

“Trust me, babe-sickle. It’ll be sinch.” For a moment, he looks absolutely calm. No vibrating, no yelling, no talking really fast. And it hits its intended mark – my assurances. Okay.

“Alright.” I wring my hands one last time, then clap them and step back from the town diorama that Beetlejuice is roaming in. I cross my arms, then drop them to my sides and look around, then finally back at the impatient ghost… who’s doing squats. Good grief, how much energy is in this guy? “Beetlejuice.”

He gasps, jumps up to his feet, nearly falling over because his weight landed wrong and then rubs his hands together. “Here we go!”

“Beetlejuice.”

“Oh. You do it right, babe.”

Oh my god, here we go. Hopefully this can’t make my situation any worse- I mean, I am being targeted by a killer. What are the odds that this goofball of a ghost could ruin my life anymore? “Beetlejuice.”

“PRESTO!”

Human! Chucky / Charles Lee Ray – Chucky’s POV:

I figure this is going to be a pain, when a screech tears from the ugly old house before I even get in. Confused, and more then frustrated because this spells out nothing but problems for me for when I get in, instead of the nice peaceful kill I was intending to enjoy, I open the screen door -bitch didn’t even lock the front door, it’s like she wants me to kill her,- and rush up the stairs to where the sound came from. “Hold on, I’m not there yet!!”

What the hell is going on?!

“Look, in my professional experience, the screamin’ doesn’t start til the killer takes out a knife, sometimes even before but not before I even get into the house, lady. The audacity of you, here- “

What am I looking at here?

In front of my eyes, my fucking eyes, stands of course Y/N, my victim. And some kind of zebra - one that’s been dead and left out in the swamp for a fuck-long time. He’s got crazy eyes if I’ve ever seen them, and have you seen mine? That’s saying something. Who is this joker? In my coat, I grip the gun I keep just in case strangulation goes awry, but don’t bring it out just yet. Not until this guy reveals his cards, first.

The guy’s eyes flicker in smug amusement from my face, to my gun pocket -evidently, he realises something’s up. Can’t blame the guy, damnit, -, then whips right around, leaving his back wide open for me and my weapon, to my facepalming victim. I smirk at her. “I take it that’s the guy you want rid of, toots?”

“Uh… yeah… “She looks adorable and awkward. The guy lets go of her waist, which he was holding close to his body as she leaned away before, when I walked in and he literally, and I’ve never seen any person do this before, halted in his tracks. Stopped breathing, stopped shifting, it even seemed like the history around him stopped for that ‘caught’ moment. And I swear I heard the sound of record music abruptly being turned off come from his mouth.

And for some odd reason, I get the feeling he’s not human. Can’t conjure a reason why, though.

I should be saying this shit out loud, I’m wasted on myself.

Figuring this guy’s been hired to get rid of me, I take out my gun. “Okay, you’re gonna have to catch me up on what’s happening... Oh, no? Well, okay.”

BAM!

A bullet flies across the room and sticks into the freak’s chest, and that is the end of things going my way.

Because the force of the bullet somehow sends him slamming across the room and through a wall in the back. His body goes ‘poot’ down two stories outside and theirs a silence that doesn’t last long enough for either Y/N or I to digest what just fucking happened before the bastard’s grotty fucking hand spiders up my spine from behind. I wriggle out of his reach immediately on impact, because it’s like a real fucking spider, and whip around, waiving my gun- which is useless now, of course.

Games are over.

The guy looks over at Y/N and grins, throwing his arms out in a ‘ta da!’ way. She winces and just narrows her eyes in a glare. “What’d you think of that, sweet cheeks? I got a flare for the dramatic, you know? Ssssexy! Eh?” When she sticks her tongue out at him, for lack of any words to respond to that with I guess -I mean, I, can think of some choice words for the guy, but she’s clearly not as creatively gifted in the art of insult as I have been told I am. But, a tongue out works, - he grins the most fucking horny grin I’ve ever seen and clutches his sack. Her jaw drops.

“Where the ever-loving fuck did you pick crazy pants up from??” I ask, looking accusingly at Y/N. She chews on the inside of her cheeks and looks even more awkward then before.

“Truce?” She asks, instead of answering my question. I’m genuinely curious.

I roll my eyes. “Ughh, fine.”

“Oh well that won’t do,” The guy speaks up again, looking between us and letting his Johnson go, thank god. The boys have to breath! “Baby girl, blossom, light of my FUCKING DEATH! You wound me. riGHT IN THE HEART! Let me show you, sweetgums, why that was a bad idea.”

Her eyes widen, and I suddenly feel real unsafe. “How about you don’t- “

“Watch this!”

He turns to me, makes some overdramatic hand gestures, throwing his back out in the process and momentarily acting like he’s out of order.

Then he whips back into action and shoots me with finger guns,

And then suddenly everything around me looks 4 times bigger then before. Oh, well, its that or… I’m closer to the ground.

Because I’m a fucking doll again.

I slowly look up from the little black baby shoes and the edges of the godamn jean jumpsuit, to the infected condom in black and white grease paint. “… You son-of-a-bitch.”

He chuckles and turns to Y/N, and gives her finger guns too, but the only other thing that happens this time is he winks at her. “Now, baby! Time to get hitched!”

“What?!” She shrieks.

Freddy Krueger – Freddy’s POV:

“I’m going to die of boredom before this bitch catches winks. I’m gonna pummel her with the counting sheep she clearly needs when she gets here.” The corners of my mouth lift up from the deep scowl I was wearing before, at the idea. It has merit.

Behind me the fine folks of Pompeii run for their lives and a red and green striped Vesuvius explodes molten lava over their little town when I remember it’s been 2 days since she’s fallen asleep. Or found some fucking Hypnocil. Or killed herself. Who knows, really. I have a… deadly effect on women.

But damn, it would be a bummer if she killed herself. I was having fun with her. I had plans.

Have, have. I have plans. I won’t give up hope yet.

An hour, or who knows how long later -time is a human construct and doesn’t exist in the dream plain, - , I’m lying on the ground watching Psycho play in the sky when that familiar tingle rushes through me, telling me someone’s entered my world.

I’m just getting up and brushing myself off, taking my damn time like she left me to wait -besides, I can turn back time and make it seem like I appeared instantaneously if I want to. Time’s a construct, remember? And this is my world. I’m just doing this for me, to make me feel better, - when she comes out of fucking nowhere and nearly knocks me over. Im-ee-diate-ly I open my mouth to ask her why she’s so eager, but she beats me to the punch, causing me sadness.

“Wake up, wake up, wake up!”

Hold on, I definitely think there’s something off here. Don’t I make the fucking demands?! “Bitch- ”

“Wake!”

“-I haven’t done anything to you yet.”

“Up!”

“Goddamn!”

What is going on here!?

“I’ll do anything you want, just please. Wake me up!” Her eyes are deadly serious, and I can’t help the greedy smile I get at her submissive idea. What could have made her this way? I laugh.

“Ohhh, I’ll think it over. Tempting offer, though~” She lets out a growl and let’s go of me in pure frustration, looks around quickly for something and then lays eyes on my glove. She picks it up, and my eyes widen in surprise at what she does next.

The blade slices through the skin in her upper arm before I can take any control of the situation, and a nauseous feeling suddenly rolls me and she whimpers from the pain of slicing herself open, as the world goes blurry around us and she wakes up- of course, still holding my glove, which is attached to me, so I go with her.

“Fucking he- “

Much quicker than you think it will be, we both turn up back in the fucking reality. She hops up immediately and flies across the room to a first aid box.

I’m just assuming, I mean. Because I don’t make any move to leave the bed at all and just close my eyes and groan, and resist the urge to cry.

I hate this placceeeeeeeeee.

“BABES, YOU’RE BACK!”

Now I resist the urge to scream and phase out of existence, because a man just appeared on the bed with me and called me his babes. Instead, I slowly turn my head to him and sinisterly narrow my eyes- and hope he doesn’t notice my distress from a second ago.

I’m starting to understand why Y/N was so intent on getting back here. If this guy, a dung beetle with… oh, god. Clearly, some kind of terrible illness if that smell indicates anything, was hanging around me while I slept, I’d be… slightly bothered too. If only for the stink!

He squints, and while he does, his hair flickers through the various colours in the rainbow, confused. “Sweetbottom, theirs something different about you. Did you get contacts?”

As a knee jerk reaction, I stab him in the gut with my blades. “Stranger danger, bitch!”

My panic dissolves into glee as I jerk the knives upwards… just to turn back into panic when he starts tearing all the way in half from my stab wound up to the top of his head with minimal effort from me. I gulp, and retreat from him to where Y/N is, taping her bandages securely around her arm. I gesture to the freak who’s padded onto the floor and is zipping himself back together in front of my eyeballs. “… the fuck is that?”

“That’s Beetlejuice, he’s a ghost=

“With the most, baby.” ‘Beetlejuice’ stands up straight and rests his hands on his hips, chest puffed out and winks at Y/N.

“-What do we do?” She asks, looking with wide eyes at me.

What does she think I am? The Fairy Godmother of the dead?? I’m no godmoth-

… I could use this. A slow grin spreads across my mouth. “First, you go over there and distract him.”

For a split second she looks like she’s actually going to go with it, then looks with furrowed, unimpressed eyebrows at me. ‘Beetlejuice’ makes grabby hands at us, and she starts to look more panicked by the second. “And what will you do??”

I yank the bedroom door open. “Run!!”

#Keatlejuice #Beetlejuice #Chucky #Charles Lee Ray #Freddy Krueger #Drabbles #Scenarios #Part 1 #Horror / Misc Drabbles || Part 1 #Beetlejuice x Reader #Keatlejuice x Reader #Chucky x Reader #Charles Lee Ray x Reader #Freddy Krueger x Reader

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ashen-laguz · 3 years ago

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I posted 2,260 times in 2021

68 posts created (3%)

2192 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 32.2 posts.

I added 1,082 tags in 2021

#hatoful boyfriend - 319 posts

#deltarune - 164 posts

#project moon - 117 posts

#omori - 103 posts

#library of ruina - 77 posts

#deltarune spoilers - 72 posts

#off - 70 posts

#yuuya - 61 posts

#me - 53 posts

#1bitheart - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#like if maxy started doing much of the more 'typical' shit instead of the weird forms of affection we've been showing each other for years?

My Top Posts in 2021

Power

Systems starting... lights turning on.... aaaand it's on! It's powered on!! At long last!

Now lets see, what's a good name? Gizmo? Gizmo sounds like the best name for your new bestest pal!

----

Day 7 of @oc-growth-and-development oc-tober! I didn't have any interesting ideas for like, something super powerful, so I got a little more creative then that. take a funny lil gunsmith who loves building robos instead, because my boy Milo is just the definition of A Good Lad tm

16 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 03:10:12 GMT

happy asexual awareness week, aka one ace nerd's excuse to crawl out of my corner for once so i can shove ace yuuya propoganda down the hato fandom's throat again <3

16 notes • Posted 2021-10-28 01:22:48 GMT

so... i meant for this to be like... a tenth year anniversary art thing.... but i underestimated how much i bit off for this, so uh

better late then ever, amiright

might come back and shade at a later date if i feel like it, but for now... for now, i wanna be done, cause i've been working on this for SO long, so it will stay as flat colors....

19 notes • Posted 2021-04-15 21:45:15 GMT

ok for real though, can we talk about that little albert side-story thing in holistar or???

sakuya had to be like??? around ten years old at that time, yeah? albert was stated to have joined the le bel household about six years prior to telling yuuya about this situation, hiyoko’s class (sakuya included) would all about sixteen at the start of hatoful/holistar, so. sakuya had to like ten goddamned years old

he was already chosen as the le bel heir while he was TEN! he was trusted with the adult responsibilities of running the adult party and keeping the household running smoothly while everyone else was away! he had to deal with a goddamned assassination attempt, and then keep a cool enough head to find the loophole situation where he could have the assassin act as his body guard from other deadly situations while he was ten goddamned years old!!

like his own route and a lot of other stuff very clearly spell out what sort of high-expectations and pressure he's always had,,, the whole "he isn't allowed to play music and pursue his own passions" and running the christmas party in his route and a lot of stuff already very much show that sakuya never really gets to have fun, he's expected to be best of the best but... god...

ten years old... that's still one hell of a gut punch anyways. this poor boy didn't get a goddamned childhood cause of his dad's expectations and pressure on him...

sakuya my beloved, you deserve better than this.. u-u

24 notes • Posted 2021-04-07 03:20:21 GMT

In my head, I am funny

111 notes • Posted 2021-09-13 20:59:23 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #it says something about me that the king meme is my top post. it really does.

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mrsmess · 5 years ago

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Faves and fails of SPN (season 9)

Favorite episodes (in chronological order):

9:1 I think I’m gonna like it here - Usually not a fan of intro episodes but this is pretty tight

9:4 Slumber party - YES. Anything Charlie! Supernatural meets Once Upon a Time. Sam responding to Charlie’s info on who uploaded the unpublished Supernatural books. ”None. Uhm. No bells.” Lol.

9:5 Dog Dean afternoon - One of the best episodes in the entire show for obvious reasons: Jensen Ackles frolicking. The scene when the spell takes effect is amazing.

9:7 Bad boys - Love the retro episodes, this one is heartbreaking and scary to match. The fact that the show keeps revealing stuff about their childhood, John’s tough love approach, and stuff lost by the years separating the boys as well as their distinct roles, is really good. Kinda makes me wish we got more of those episodes. This casting of tween!Dean is very good, he rly is insufferable, and vulnerable, and much better than the one in the dodge ball episode. Blake Gibbons is also great in his role . The ending! Omg! I’m literally crying. ”He just said to tell you you have a job. Said you’d know what that means.”

9:11 First born - Ah. The blade. The Cain storyline. Loving the ”buddy” comedies; pairings Dean & Crowley and Sam & Cass. Dean growing a beard, a little overkill but I’ll take it. Cain is cute, and kinda entertaining. The idea that the Winchesters are allowed to change, Cass, what a radical concept.

9:13 The purge - Thank goodness they’re back together even if they’re just faking it til they’re ”making” it. Dean eating pudding, Sam doing yoga ”You’re not the only one who’s dated someone bendy.” And Sam asks Dean to admit that he didn’t save Sam out of some altruistic motive but for him himself, which is fine, right? I think that’s fine. Half the time I think most of their problems could be solved by (mainly) Dean just being honest about what he feels.

9:15 #thinman - this starts out pretty funny and ends up so frickin’ dark. Ed and Harry being some weird foil for Sam and Dean. The realness of this story is kinda painful.

9:18 Meta fiction - Gabriel! If only for a brief shining moment. Gadreel’s old vessel- I like him. Metatron injecting Cass with every book, movie, tv show... nifty!

9:19 Alex Annie Alexis Ann - A wayward daughter introduced. And Jody Mills is always a win. Good, tight episode. Excellent character study. Creepy ass monsters *because* they’re so human. One of the best episodes of this season.

9:21 King of the damned - Now this is my kinda torture. And Crowley and his son. And calling off the Hellhound over speaker phone. Why is this so funny?

9:23 Do you believe in miracles - Besides Dean bugging the crap outta me, this finale is actually pretty interesting. I rly like it. ”What happened to you being okay with this?” ”I lied.” I love them.

Fail episodes (in chronological order):

9:9 Holy terror - Angel stuff. And torture. Boring. Plus Gadreel offing Kevin. Booooooh! ”I always trust you, and I always end up screwed.” Winchesters, amiright?

9:12 Sharp teeth - Garth is a werewolf. Hate the brothers being out of sorts. A theme for the episode seems to be estrangement, deception. Serves to show how compulsive particularly Dean is, how lonely he makes himself. It’s all interesting but how am I supposed to be okay with an episode which ends this way? My heart just breaks.

9:20 Bloodlines - God I hate this.

Mediocre mentions:

Rock and a hard place - ”Congratulations Sam and Dean Winchester! You are both virgins!” Lol. Dean describing sex. Awesome. Not his finest hour making that sneaky pass on an ex porn star though, they could’ve played that *way* better.

Road trip - More angel stuff. *sigh* A torture montage is the quickest way to wind up off the fave list. Dean and Cas having a little tete-a-tete is nice, not enough to make up for it. However, Crowley and Gadreel doubleteaming Sam has me shouting on the couch. Okay, fine! ”If I see you again-” ”Yes, I’m dead, I love you too.” And ”Daddy’s home.” Crowley saves the episode.

Honorable mentions:

Using ”Who do you love?” in the previously on-section first thing this season.

I am into this new communicative schtick the bros have going. I’m loving this new and improved, supportive, sinscere, soft Dean, more of that plz.

Castiel going by Clarence! My heart! And experiencing the small and trying things of being human: thirst, hunger, lust, making money last, working shitty jobs, baby sitting. It rly does wonders for how I feel about him.

Ghost!Kevin telling the brothers to get over it. ”My mom’s taking home a ghost, you both are still here.”

The crazy collector and Human!Crowley in Blade Runners are more than a little icky- but also very interesting.

The chemistry between Padalecki and Jenny O’Hara in Mother’s little helper. The chemistry between Sam and Cass in this season, I feel there’s a real exchange there. Sam’s character has a really satisfying range in how it interacts with others, I dig that.

Dishonorable mentions:

Dean showing Cas the door w/o setting him up w a safe house. Especially since they put Kevin up in a warded motel room in Branson the very next episode. Winchesters, man.

Summing up:

I’m rly taken by the speech from Sharp Teeth. It’s much better written than I’ve given it credit for. On the one hand, Dean’s arc from the end of season 8 has made it emotionally and reasonably clear what his one job is, what his purpose is. At any price. Sam meanwhile is bigger picture, and the thing with Gadreel just made it clear that his and Deans ideas of their joint purpose differ. That’s why Sam says ”everything that’s ever gone wrong between us has been because we’re family.”

But well written or not; this really real conflict is also a big problem with this season, mainly because they use it for friction but ultimately not enough closure.

#supernatural #favorite episodes #spn meta #random fandom #rewatch #no this is not a supernatural blog

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satannedtrash · 6 years ago

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a new year’s resolution | qian kun

summary: where you go out with friends to welcome in the new year, but you never expected to welcome something - or rather, someone - else.

pairing: qian kun x reader

word count: 3.3k/3365 words

genre: fluff. just fluff. pure fluff

format: dot points (still not experienced enough yet :|)

warnings: none unless mild to moderate swearing and total drunks aren’t your thing (also not edited oh dear) (and ooc kun cuz i suck at this ok)

author’s note: tHIS WAS MEANT TO BE FINISHED LAST WEEK BUT STUFF CAME UP SO IT’S HELLA LATE AAA but anyway at first i wasn’t entirely sure what member to write about, but then i remembered how sm didn’t even release a happy birthday post to kun (jan 1). so i thought that i can dedicate this to kun. happy (extremely belated) birthday to the butter-for-our-ears vocalist, angel and mum, kun! (also y/f/n means your friend’s name)

EDIT: just realised there was a whole section missing (i realised after a month because i didn’t want to read back on this - thing - until now) and without it the oneshot didn’t flow, so i added it in. hope it all clears things up!

11:19 pm

before this story starts imma explain sum stuff

first of all: bless kun

second of all: appreciate kun

third of all: say happy birthday to kun

oh and this is an au where the nct members aren’t idols so don’t expect to see saesangs or fans with their cameras out taking a photo of every move they make being mentioned in here

aaand i’m rambling so with that out of the way lez go

laughing at a friend’s joke, you lifted your right hand which held your phone, causing the screen to turn on

“gEEz okay then”

the bright, white light emitted from it shocked your eyes, making you blink furiously

when you could finally see without being partially blinded, you quickly checked the time and placed your phone face-down next to you

“what’s the time?” y/f/n asked, chin on your shoulder

not bothered to check again, you just say “11:19” and then leaned your head on theirs

“can you believe that 2018 is ending?”

“yep. this year sucked for me so i’m down for it to end”

“always looking forward, huh?”

you shifted your gaze from the city skyline to your friend. “have to. can’t afford to stick to the past”

pouting, y/f/n was about to respond when you lifted your head and stopped leaning back on your arms to sit upright

“besides, we gotta enjoy tonight, instead of moping around.” here, you noticed your friend eyeing the beers nearby you and sighed heavily. guess i need to be chaperone for the night

well considering that the rest of your friends and their friends were wasted might as well make sure they don’t mess the docks up

as you handed the bottle to your friend, their expression brightened as they snatched it from you

well damn aren’t they excited to get drunk

wait it’s not even 11:30 yet and we’re still going to a bar nearby after the fireworks wat

“er, shouldn’t you wait till after midnight to drink?”

“nah m8 tis the best time to have some”

(i have just realised that the vibe of this went from serious storytelling to a memey laidback sorta thing damn it)

(oh well i’ll roll with it)

not knowing what to do now that there wasn’t much to talk about, you brought out your earphones and decided to listen to some music to pass the time

calming music, such as a song with nine glorious men singing and some bed squeaking in the background

(i’ll let you guess what song i’m talking about)

you let your head bop to the song as you looked out to the sea port twenty metres in front of you, watching the dark waters ripple

11:48 pm

the next time you turned on your phone to see how many minutes left you had become a third wheeler

quite the strong third wheeler might i add

a few moments after the first song you were listening to finished, your good friend yuta had joined you and y/f/n because his other friends were “too rowdy”

but as soon as he saw the bottles he said “gimme”

so you were sitting there (barbecue sauce on my-) with two just barely sober adults acting like complete children

you had to wrestle out of y/f/n’s koala hug around your waist and escape yuta’s chin noogie to grab your phone

“oh for fuck’s sake” father why have you foresaken me

when you finished preparing yourself for another possible 27 minutes of torture, you turned around to see yuta and y/f/n throwing themselves at each other, singing like magpies

“wE wIsh yOU A mErrY chrIstmAsssss aNd a hAppY nEw yeeeEeAArr!!1!” they then took the opportunity to laugh, squeal and kiss the hecc out of each other’s cheeks

you knew that your friend was absolute shit at singing, but yuta was a whole different story good lord

you thought he was good???

maybe just when he hasn’t had a few drinks

you stared at the two dolphins then promptly stood up and sat down behind them because you had to make sure they didn’t do anything more than whatever the hell this was

not like it could get any worse

you could feel the gazes of pity the others were sending you, but frankly you didn’t care

before, you couldn’t wait for the new year to come, but now you were more eager than ever

someone please save my poor soul

11:59 pm

“yEEEE BOI a minute left!”

eleven minutes have passed and the final 60 seconds of the year were being counted down

you were less excited for the new year and more excited for the end of your chaperoning being closer

all you had to do was get through the firework display, watch the adorable couple in front of you until the bar and let them do what they want (there were sure to be other friends who were willing to let them join in)

it seemed like a simple, solid plan! :D

before you knew it, yuta and y/f/n had already started counting down from 15, so might as well start now

“13, 12, 11, 10...”

you took a glance at y/f/n, who grinned back at you and threw their arm around your shoulder

“7, 6, 5, 4, 3...” here we go

“1 - happy new year!!”

it was at this moment you realised that your eardrums were incapable of tolerating the two dolphins beside you

sINCE WHEN WAS YUTA ABLE TO SCREAM THAT LOUD AND HIGH THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE

yay to starting the new year with loud friends screaming like there’s no tomorrow amiright

you had trouble focusing on the fireworks to the point you could only hear most of the big ones

that’s how hard it was to be next to them but oh well

marvelling at the city skyline, the fireworks seeming like entirely new stars, you began having very deep thoughts

the typical ones, such as “ what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like by the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?”

you had asked the exact same things when 2017 shifted to 2018 and found that you actually had an answer for all of them

2018 brought some crappy stuff but also some good stuff to balance that out

you were still sort of the same, because every time something major came up you only changed a bit then went back to normal

and you weren’t with anyone yet, which you had expected

but a little birdy on your shoulder said, “then get with someone in 2019! make it a new year’s resolution!”

your eyebrows furrowed at the thought, but you decided to focus on the sky for now

because since when did you ever make or follow new year’s resolutions?

12:16 am

“12:16 okay then”

turns out you didn’t consider the walk to the bar part of your chaperoning

by the time the display ended, yuta and y/f/n could walk, but not without wobbling and intense laughter

so guess who had to make sure they could at least make the trip to the bar?

“um, are you sure you don’t want to go home yet?”

“nah, i caan’t, my sister was meaant to be at home-!”- y/f/n stumbled a bit but you caught them before they fell - “-but she’s not, and i can’t beeee home by myselfff”

no wonder

here, you were struggling to keep the both of them propped up as you walked along the road, so there was bound to be a slip up

“you should’ve seen their face! haHA-!” yuta laughed a little too hard and nearly fell over his own feet, prompting you to panic and scramble to keep him from falling to the ground

“oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit-!”

but you didn’t need to because someone else already beat you to it!

sighing in relief, you looked up to see none other than the great qian kun putting yuta’s arm around his shoulder

he looked over to you gaping at him and smiled that warm smile that looked like it was sculpted by the gods

wow he looks great in this lighting

you were always attracted to kun, ever since you two began talking after stopping a full blown war between doyoung and ten

he appeared so soft and kind to you and you two seemed to have a lot in common

so naturally you hit it off

because who doesn’t love kun? :D

“you’re welcome?” oh shit i didn’t just stare at him for that long did i

“oh - sorry - thanks for that�� nice going there y/n you idiot

kun just chuckled and hefted his drunk friend as he started walking, you doing the same

it became comfortably silent as your group made their way down the street and turned left into a reasonably sized bar, which as surprisingly not that busy

you set y/f/n down on a chair that thankfully had a tall enough back to keep them up and sat down next to them, exhaling

kun patted yuta’s back and went to sit down next to you

laying your head on the counter, you thought of striking up a conversation with kun

so, instead of saying things like “happy new year”, “thanks for helping me” or even “they’re hard to deal with anyway”, you just said “woah.”

yEAH AGAIN NICE GOING THERE Y/N

“‘woah’? what’s ‘woah’?” he responded, taking on a teasing, motherly tone

you could hear the grin in his voice

you panicked and stammered some illegible words before you could actually speak

“i meant like, woah, that was exhausting, they made things real hard and all that…”

then you thought of something brilliant

you took out your phone and googled “woah”, only to find that it wasn’t spelled w-o-a-h but instead meant to be w-h-o-a

you frowned but typed “whoa meaning” instead and showed the definition to kun

all the while still laying on the mahogany-coloured counter

to your surprise, he rolled his eyes, laughed and ruffled your hair

“that was a really bad joke but you’re lucky i have the same sense of humor” his laugh was infectious so you had to smile

then he asked, “are you okay? not too tired?”

sitting up, you put your phone back in your pocket

“nah, my arms just ache, but it’s fine.” your polite smile suddenly grew into a wide smirk. “thanks for worrying, mum”

“i’m not a mum!” his expression made you have the sudden urge to burst into endless chuckles

in the corner of your eye, you could see ten, doyoung and johnny elbowing each other, pointing at you and kun and singing “kiss the girl”

you then had the sudden urge to throw some hands

kun (obviously) overheard them and sighed

“why are they like this”

“i wish i knew”

you and kun talked some more, random topics like how uni was going for you, how his singing was, how your book was going, all that jazz

with some playful banter and the occasional jokes that made you laugh so hard your back hurt

“kun loving puns and dad jokes? a coincidence?”

“i only laugh at them to make you feel better!”

“gasp! how dare you!”

“only joking, y/n!”

while you two giggled, y/f/n suddenly turned to you and said, “i think yuta and i will be fine here…”

you stopped and looked back at them, concerned

“you sure?”

“we’ll just go sit with the boys over there-!” a hiccup. “-it’ll be fine!” then, it hit you

is this bitch trying to play matchmaker

you grumbled “i’m not sure…” but then kun spoke up

“yeah, sure, that’s fine,” when you gave him a quizzical look, he added on, “as much as i don’t trust johnny, doyoung and ten, at least it’s not just the two of them?”

he phrased it as a question instead of a statement, his voice getting higher by each word spoken

you pondered over this

well, he’s not wrong

you exhaled in defeat, saying “fine, go ahead”

y/f/n grinned at you and gave a knowing wink before dragging yuta over to the three boys

two of whom were busy flirting to each other and the other one third wheeling

you raised your eyebrows up and down at them before turning back to kun, who was looking outside

“so,” you started, causing him to look at you, “are you sure you want yuta and y/f/n wreaking havoc with those three?” you nodded in the group’s direction

kun stayed silent for a bit, then said “yeah, i’m sure. it kinda looked like you needed a break from them.”

“true. there’s only so much you can take.” kun chuckled at that and looked outside again

it went silent, but in stark contrast to the vibe of the walk leading to the bar, it was very awkward

too awkward to handle

so you took the opportunity to debate with yourself whether or not you should study kun

damn what if he looks at me though i’m not really risking that

but how can you not look at him? and what’s there to talk about?

it’s not worth the embarrassment

look-

at-

him

you were about to take a quick glance, but then kun spoke

“besides, i want to show you something”

once again, another puzzled look

“if you don’t mind, of course”

without another thought, you said “sure.”

“really? you’re okay with it?” you smiled at kun’s eagerness

“yeah, might as well, now that we don’t have anyone to watch over.” kun grinned and stood up, making sure to push in his chair (we love a polite king)

you two were about to walk out the door when you looked at a certain group three tables away from you

johnny and ten were still flirting and yuta and y/f/n were still laughing

but this time, doyoung wasn’t a third wheeler anymore, because a man who looked younger than him was having a somewhat civilised conversation with doyoung

you elbowed kun and made him look at them and made sure doyoung, johnny and ten saw you before both mouthing, “sha la la la la la my, oh, my~”

you took a mental screenshot of their faces before you and kun cackled your way out of the bar

12:47 am

“what are you planning on showing me?”

the two of you had been walking and talking for a while now, but kun still didn’t say what he was going to show you

you were waiting patiently, expecting him to eventually tell you, but you gave in

“it’s a surprise~” he said in a sing-song voice, which slightly irritated you

“i know that it’s at the docks, because that’s where we’re heading,” you gave him a light nudge with your arm. “so might as well tell me now!”

he stubbornly shook his head. “i refuse to tell you until you see it.”

pouting, you crossed your arms and muttered under your breath, “you’re lucky you’re adorable.”

to your relief, he didn’t hear you, because he laughed at your pout and pressed on

you lightly scoffed and picked up your pace so that you could walk alongside him

“can i at least have one clue?” you begged

“uh uh.”

“pleeeaaassee?” he looked at your hopeful smile and rolled his eyes

“fine,” you yelled “yes!” a little too loud, making people stare at you. “your clue is…

“...it’s big and sparkly.” you gave him a look showing that you weren’t impressed

“wow, kun, what a descriptive and totally-not-vague clue! i am sure to get it now!”

kun grumbled, “you sound like doyoung,” before remembering something

“don’t tell me the answer until we get there!” he quickly said, receiving yet another puzzled look. “so that i can give you the benefit of the doubt to make it all the more exciting! it’ll be fun!”

you in turn muttered, “well, you sound like y/f/n, and fine. i don’t wanna ruin the surprise. you look real enthusiastic about it too” he smiled gratefully before leaving you to do your thinking

thinking about that smile :)))))

damn his smile always gets me grrrrr

you pulled your mind away from kun’s personality and tried to think of a place with the clue “big and sparkly”

two came to your mind, the big ferris wheel and the big floating silver christmas tree out on the water

they’re both big and sparkly, but you couldn’t predict which one he was going to take you to

you were hoping the ferris wheel, but you just had to wait and see

“think of any places yet?” you jolted so hard, you threw your phone up accidentally

don’t worry, you caught it

kun looked at you, his eyebrows showing worry but his eyes glinting. “you okay?”

very nice going there y/n, how many more times will you mess up??

and my face feels like it’s on fire oh good lord

“i’m fine, just got scared,” you had to take a breather before you put your phone in your pocket - where it should’ve been in the first place, but your dumb ass decided to hold it - and gave kun a thumbs up

he gave a thumbs up back and said, “surprised you didn’t scream.”

biting back a retort, you replied. “rude.” you sunk your hands deeper into your pockets. “and as for your question, yes, i did think of a place or two”

“good, because we’re getting close now”

you turned a corner and saw both the floating tree and the ferris wheel come into view

the ferris wheel carriages were lighting up one after the other, making it look like a loading symbol (great comparison there) from afar

a pretty and romantic loading symbol

while the christmas tree was dazzling, the rainbow lights getting brighter and dimmer like a pulsing star

while you two waited for the pedestrian light to turn green, kun said to you, “when we make it to the other side, make sure to close your eyes and keep them closed until i say so”

“let me guess, to ‘make it all the more exciting’?” he grinned and nodded

“yup”

you did as what he had told, closing your eyes and relying on kun to guide you the right way

“i swear to god if you push me off the pier i will drag you down with me”

“now you sound like ten, but don’t worry, i won’t,” he gently pushed you away from an upcoming obstacle. “thanks for thinking so highly of me.”

“no problem, mum” you grinned victoriously when you heard a heavy sigh

you knew you were close to the water when you smelled less alcohol and more salty sea water

“are we there yet?” you asked impatiently. you couldn’t be bothered to be patient anymore

kun said, “waaait,” and guided you a bit to the left. “there! now you can open your eyes.”

“finally, i was wondering when- holy shit.”

it wasn’t the ferris wheel that you were hoping that he’d show you, but it was something you decided was way more worth it

the floating silver christmas tree towered over you both, and it looked like it was the brightest and most colourful thing for kilometres (or miles, you choose)

coloured lines streamed down from the top to the bottom, like a very pink, purple and blue waterfall, while stage lights at the bottom smoothly changed from red to orange to yellow and more

it also reminded you of the windows screen when you used it for the first time (if that even makes sense?)

white light shone from beneath the many large stars decorating the tree, making them pop, and the wind revealed that the tree wasn’t made of smooth silver metal, but silver sequins that showed the water ripples and waves from below

the star at the top was the most intensely bright of them all, with a rainbow outline and a gold center

needless to say, it was pretty darn beautiful for a sight that would otherwise hurt your eyes

you stood there with your mouth wide open, looking like a pathetic fish, and almost missed what kun was saying

“i wasn’t sure if you would like the ferris wheel or the tree, but then i found out that the ferris wheel would be closed today, so i just chose this,” you felt his gaze shift onto you, and you tried not to get flustered. “do you like it?”

you took a moment before you spoke. “yes, i really like it a lot,” the view was that breathtaking it took away your ability to talk like a proper adult. you turned to him and gave a smile, trying to make it look as genuine as you could. “thanks for bringing me here, kun.”

he gave you an equally big grin and said, “you’re welcome. glad you like it too.” he turned back to look at the tree, and you did the same

but not without sneaking a glance at him in all his ethereal beauty

kun never failed to surprise you, whether it be showing you a very rainbow tree, being so kind and trusting or just being himself

your mind floated back to the three questions you had asked yourself earlier, “what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like at the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?” and the new year’s resolution you made

you took another look at kun then whispered under your breath, “huh.

“guess i am on the way to completing one.”

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hazelandglasz · 5 years ago

Text

Voltron Legendary Patissier (A Shklance AU)

I came across a wonderful drawing by @lemonjuiceday when visiting a con and I was immediately inspired to write this little fic. Nothing major, just a bout of fluff and food porn for our favorite boys (strictly food porn, you pervs ;))

On AO3

Lance didn’t expect to find himself in such a position, caught between two hard chests while working his part-time job.

Then again, he didn’t expect his part-time job to be in a bakery.

“A pâtisserie, not a bakery,” his boss insists, his fond, exasperated smile growing less and less fond and more and more exasperated with each time he has to repeat it to one of them.

Lance doesn’t blame him, he would be very specific too about his craft if he was … well, as crafty as Takashi “Shiro” Shirogane, his associate and their apprentices.

While Shiro splits his time between the kitchen and the till, Lance strictly works behind the counter, serving the customers and writing down the special orders.

And daydreaming about the way Shiro’s biceps flex so wonderfully in his tight shirt, and how mesmerizing are his eyes when he watches someone trying something new fresh out of the oven …

“Lance?”

And just how beautiful he is, inside and out.

“For Apicius’ sake, Lance, snap out of it!”

Lance blinks back into the moment and back to the voice calling his name in such a pissed off manner.

Sure enough, Lance’s binome glares at him, angrily shoving delicate little chouquettes in a paper bag while their customer smiles at them, her eyes moving back between them as if watching a tennis match.

“Yes, my dear colleague, how can I help you?” he replies sweetly--too sweetly to be subtle, if the intensification of Keith’s glare (and of the customer’s giggle) is any indication.

“For the third time, since we apparently lost you in the void between your ears,” Keith replies in the same dulcet tone, “can you, please, if it’s not too much of an imposition for you to move, get in the kitchen and get back mille-feuilles for the showcase?”

“Since you asked so nicely,” Lance says, winking at the still-giggling customer while simultaneously hip-checking Keith out of his way, “of course, of course.”

Keith’s sigh still reaches Lance’s ears before the door closes between the two rooms. Lance takes a moment to breathe.

As much as he finds Shiro attractive and amazing, he cannot shake the itch that has crawled under his skin ever since he met Keith Kogane.

A need to punch him in his perfect face, with his fist or with his mouth, the jury is still out on that one.

Keith has seniority over Lance but he also works only in the front of the store.

And thus lays Lance’s problem.

While he can escape Shiro’s … shironess every now and then, Keith’s mindfucking keithness is always around him, hovering, glaring, grumbling in a way that should not be as sexy as it is, dammit.

So, yeah, Lance is in a hell of his own making and, heartache be damned, he loves every minute of it.

Okay, this has gone on for too long.

Lance cannot prove it, but he would bet his favorite nerfgun that Shiro is doing it on purpose.

It here serves as a summary of everything that Shiro does around the shop: carelessly shaking his hips to the sound of the music drifting from the records shop next door, licking the tip of his fingers when he accidentally gets cream on them.

Accidentally, right, as if.

And he supposes Shiro also left a flour handprint on Keith’s ass by accident.

By all that he holds dear, Lance is not mentally equipped to deal with the image of those two together, together.

Separately, they are already forces to be reckoned with and Lance tries really har--ahem--he really tries his best to stay professional and not do something stupid, like drool all over them.

But if they are together?

Well, that takes care of his fantasies of dating either of them, but that sparks a fire under the possibility of dating them both.

Madre de dios, he’s only human and that’s just, to quote the great 21st century philosopher Bruno Mars, too hot, hot damn.

Lance sighs before shaking his head.

He needs to focus. If he cannot have the man, men, whatever, of his dreams, then he’s going to work, and have one aspect of his life that will be successful.

Oh, they’re out of Divorcés.

As there are no customers in the shop at the moment, Lance skips to the kitchen to get a tray of the delicious pastry.

Except that there is a conversation taking place that he is not supposed to hear and cannot resist any way.

“... insane, Shiro.”

“It would be complicated, sure, but--”

“Complicated? Try disastrous. You know that I agree with you on how attractive he is, but bringing him into our relationship? Let me spell it out for you: D-I-S-...”

“Keith …”

“Shiro …”

“Come on, babe,” a soft, wet sound pauses the conversation, “you’re always ranting about ways to shut him up.”

A soft laugh answers that, one that Lance would definitely characterize as a giggle if it didn’t come out of Keith “Badass” Kogane’s lips.

“You think that would do the trick?”

“No,” Shiro replies, laughter in the back of his voice, “but maybe you wouldn’t object if what came out of that beautiful, pouty mouth was moans and your name.”

“Or yours.”

“Or both.”

“God, Shiro …”

More wet sound that leaves little to Lance’s overactive imagination, and he flees the hallway to get back to the safety of the bright shop, where no one talks about threesomes and moaning and beautiful bodies intertwined …

Lance snaps his eyes shut and takes a deep breath just as the bell over the door rings.

“Welcome to Paladelicious, how can I sweeten your day?” he says reflexively, putting a smile on his face.

If he focuses on his job, he’ll find a way to bury his feelings, be it his lust or his jealousy over the man Shiro and Keith apparently want to bring into their bed.

Lucky bastard.

Or he can quit.

Lance doesn’t want to, he really likes this job, especially since he adores the world of pastry and really could see himself thriving in this field.

But.

This is just too painful.

He knows that neither Shiro nor Keith saw him eavesdropping on them, but ever since that day, Keith’s glare only intensified and Shiro is …

Well Shiro is Shiro, welcoming and warm like a cozy sweater and a hot chocolate with cinnamon sprinkled on top, but there is something behind his gaze that pulls on Lance’s heartstrings.

It’s with a heavy heart indeed that Lance came to the conclusion that he has to leave Paladelicious, and he’s not the only one already regretting it.

“Dude.”

“Hunk, don’t try to change my mind.”

“B-but, Lance!” Hunk still continues while Lance keeps on writing his resignation letter to Shiro--yes, he’s taking the cowards way out of writing to instead of facing Shiro, but can anyone really blame him?

“Lance, Lance, Lance, Lance, I’ll continue to say your name until you stop and look at me, Lance, Lance, Lance, L--”

“Hunk! Stop it,” Lance replies, making the rookie mistake of looking up at his best friend.

Because in spite of his height and bulk, the only real danger coming from Hunk Garrett is his puppy eyes.

“You don’t really want to leave us, do you Lance?”

“Of course I don’t want to!” Lance explodes. “But the alternative, it’s just too … too much for my--”

Before Lance can finish his sentence, his mouth finds itself otherwise occupied.

With an oversized chou, which is definitely on the petit side.

“Hmph!!!”

“Eat.”

“Hunpbdfrr!”

“You’ll thank me later. No one can be as moody as you were after my praline’d crème pat. And then we can close this silly conversation.”

As reluctant as he may be, Lance has to admit it: Hunk’s crème patissiere could ungrump the grumpiest of Grumps.

“Grumph.”

“Swallow.”

Lance laughs, most of the chou soothing his soul and filling his stomach already. “You know I always do.”

Behind them, at the piano, Pidge tsks as they boil several caramels in copper pans.

“Now, do you still want to leave? That means no more free goodies.”

“You’d still feed me some goodies when we get together, Hunk, don’t lie to yourself.”

Hunk blushes. “You’re probably right. But no more trying out my ideas if you’re not here.”

“You wanna leave?”

All three heads turn toward the door where Keith is standing, face even paler than usual and, oh dear Lord who has no mercy on Lance, hair tied in a messy bun.

Hunk and Pidge turn to Lance, a question in their eyes. What are you going to do now?

“I--I have considered it,” Lance mumbles. “May be best for everybody, all things considered.”

Even though I don’t want to. Even though it will hurt like a thousand knives dipped in hot sauce.

“But, I thought we--we bonded ...,”Keith opens and closes his mouth repeatedly, eyebrows going from a frown to sad before settling on anger again; funny how Lance never noticed how expressive those eyebrows were before.

“Fine,” Keith finally says, voice a lot colder than it ever was. “Do whatever you want, like I care. Not having to deal with you will bemmph?!”

Apparently, chou-shoving is Hunk’s move of the day.

“Do not. Finish. That sentence.” Hunk’s voice is frighteningly normal. Lance would be glad not to be on the receiving end of that tone if his mind was not replaying Keith’s words on repeat, with added acidic commentary.

Like I care. See, silly, he really does not need you in his life, not even as a co-worker so can you imagine dating him? It’s a wonder how you can even walk and breathe at the same time. Time for you to be useless somewhere else.

“Hunk, what the hell?!”

“We want Lance to stay and you are being mean.”

“You could have killed me!”

“With a chou? A deadly weapon for sure.”

“Guys?”

“What?”

“Lance left.”

Hunk glares at Keith. “Go fix what you broke.”

“But …”

“I am not afflicted with Lance’s obliviousness. Go; get him back. For everybody’s sake.”

Keith repeats his goldfish impression before giving Hunk a firm nod and rushing out.

Hunk picks a chou from the plate and munches on it. “Stupid men being stupid, amiright?”

Pidge nods vigorously, opening the chou open to suck on the creme. “Men being men, then.”

“Hey!”

“Not all men are as wise as you, Mr Garrett.”

“A’right, can’t deny it.”

Shiro doesn’t say a word, once Keith is done explaining what just happened in the lab.

He doesn’t frown, he doesn’t glare, he doesn’t yell.

He stands, shakes his head and opens the door to his office, aka the door to the back alley behind the store, nodding toward his bike.

Overall, Keith feels shittier than he did when he heard Hunk talking about Lance leaving, which is saying something.

He almost would have preferred for Shiro to scream at him.

At a redlight between the store and Lance’s place, Shiro pats Keith’s hands crossed over his stomach.

In Shironese, that pat means “it will be okay but you fucked up, my love.”

Keith tightens his hold on him.

In Keithan, that means “I am so sorry I got scared I fucked please forgive me.”

Since Lance took the bus back to his place, the three of them arrive at the same time.

Keith can see the moment Lance spots them on Shiro’s bike: Lance’s eyes widen and he stumbles.

“Lance, can we have a word?”

God bless Shiro for keeping his cool.

“What more is there to say?” Lance replies dejectedly with the saddest shrug Keith has ever witnessed. Now that he’s closer, Keith can see how red his eyes are and how pink his nose, and he cannot help the mixed feelings of guilt and adoration for the man standing in front of them that threaten to submerge him.

“I think Keith here has something to say,” Shiro replies softly, not so gently nudging Keith forward. “And I wouldn’t mind adding my two cents to what seems to be a classic miscommunication-provoked mess.”

Lance considers them, the unhappy downturn of his mouth increasing until he sighs, dropping his head to his chest. “Fine, come on up.”

Shiro and Keith exchange a look before following Lance up the flights of stairs leading to his apartment.

Keith spares a second to take in his environment and he has to repress the smile that threatens to appear at the sight around him. Lance’s place looks, well, it looks like him, warm and just a little bit messy but inviting and comfortable.

“Keith?” Shiro calls him, one eyebrow raised perfectly to push Keith to get on with his apology already.

Keith turns to Lance with a deep, strengthening breath. “Lance, I--I’m sorry for what I said back at the shop. I felt, um, I was hurt by the idea of you leaving us so suddenly, because, well, I--I, err, don’t want you to leave. The shop. Or,” he pauses, blidnly reaching for Shiro behind him, “or us, really.”

Lance’s eyes drop to their joined hands and if anything, his arms tighten around his torso.

Almost as if he’s trying to hold himself together.

“We don’t want you to leave,” Shiro repeats, taking a step toward Lance while still holding Keith’s hand.

Lance’s frown increases. “‘S not like I’m such an important cog in the Paladelicious’ machine,” he mumbles, turning his back to them.

Shiro blinks before sighing fondly. Keith is familiar with that sigh.

It’s Shiro’s “God knows why I am getting myself in such a mess, but boy do I love every minute with you” sigh.

“Lance,” he says quietly, letting go of Keith’s hand to put both his hands on Lance’s shoulders, “I didn’t say a word about my store.”

Lance freezes before following the motion Shiro’s hands are provoking.

When he faces them again, his eyes are wide and shiny. “What are you sayin’?”

“I’m saying that we,” Shiro moves his hands from Lance’s shoulders to his cheeks, “want you in our lives.”

Lance’s mouth parts open, eyes darting to Keith. “Both of you? You--with me?”

Keith takes the one step separating him from the two other men and cups the back of Lance’s head. “Both of us, with you,” he whispers before leaning over Shiro’s arm to lightly press his lips to Lance.

Pina colada flavored lipbalm. Of course.

Lance laughs and hiccups at the same time, resulting in an adorable “meep” sound. With one hand, he covers Shiro’s hand on his cheek while the other reaches for Keith’s waist.

“What do you say?” Shiro asks, voice barely above a murmur as he runs his nose along Lance’s temple before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I--I say,” Lance starts before pausing, eyes fluttering shut as Shiro continues on kissing odwn his cheek and jaw, “I say that I’m all in, baby!”

Both Shiro and Keith lean in to kiss Lance, which results in quite a messy situation where noses are bumped and lips don’t necessarily meet the previously aimed for location, but neither of them would have it any other way.

“Hey!” Lance exclaims, pushing both men away. “Does that mean you want to shut me up? I resent tha--mph!”

As a matter of fact, it turns out that Shiro was right.

Kissing the living Hell out of Lance is a perfectly efficient technique to shut him up.

The End.

#lemonjuiceday #sometimes i write #voltron au #vld #shklance #because i wanted to #food porn #you have been warned

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