#god. shes such a good character. incredibly silly 11/10 no notes

[asphodelis]

juvenile mind readers require lots of enrichment, so please do your research before recruiting one

[heat--end]

20 questions for fic writers

i saw this from @tearsoftime0086 and figured why not

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14, though i think one MIGHT be privated?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

453,462

3. What fandoms do you write for?

basically just pokemon, lol. one day i wanna branch out, but i really like writing for pokemon, so i don't mind that all too much

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Iridescent Bonds - my first ever fic, a dawn/irida story that involves them falling in love over the course of PLA's storyline and some other events. dawn is transgender! it's good! i hold this story very close to my heart, and i'm actually rewriting it right now, which is fun!

Bloom - trans girl lillie during the sun/moon story. its basically just a deeper dive into lillie as a character, while also making her trans, because Me Like Trans Characters. im very proud of this!

God Cannot Give You Relationship Advice - a very short, very silly one-shot that i threw together on a whim and is my 3rd most kudos'd work lmao. still, it's fun and cute, i can see why people like it so much

Shining Beyond Space Itself - my current project other than BFS! a rewrite of iridescent bonds, really fleshing out the idea and doing it proper. currently on 17 chapters out of 20, so its wrapping up soon

Jewel Box - my dawn/irida oneshot collection, based entirely on the universe established in iridescent bonds/shining beyond space. it's just a big fluff collection, but damn if i dont love it LOL. plus it really helped me develop the framework for SBS

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

LOVE responding to comments, only time i dont is if i feel i cant really add much or the like. but i really enjoy adding on to people's questions, or further explaining stuff, or even just thanking them for nice comments because i love comments!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

honestly, i don't really write angsty endings - i do enjoy writing angst, but not in my endings. i guess maybe Stardust Memories, but even that ends on a nice note???

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably Iridescent Bonds, since that just ends on dawn and irida getting married lmao. it's mushy and sappy but damn it i am a mushy and sappy gal!!!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully no. i got one comment on iridescent bonds though that was like "this was great until the trans shit" which like. that's in the 2nd line, bro lmao

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nah, probably wont ever

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

MY PRIDE AND FUCKING JOY, BUILD FIGHTERS SHINING. a crossover fic between pokemon and gundam build fighters, but to be more specific, it's a crossover between iridescent bonds/SBS and gundam build fighters. i love love LOVE writing this story, it's my other project next to SBS (it's taken a small hiatus because of SBS wrapping up - all my focus is going into that). LOVE build fighters shining. my pride and joy. my brainchild. i pour my heart and SOUL into this story

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of, but i wouldn't mind someone doing so

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i haven't no. might be fun, though!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

incredibly easy answer lmfao. akari/irida, 100%. dawn/irida as well, but that's just a variant of akari/irida really. i love love LOVE this ship, i think the game really lets these two build a strong relationship over the course of the game and they grow so incredibly close that i think its so cute, i love irida as a character so i think shes gay, and i love dawn/irida cause thats MY variation of it. girls gay. gay women. go check out @iridawn for all my autism about this ship

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably the akari/irida WIP i had where akari gets burned bad from the fight with lord arcanine, and irida has to help her while the others get materials to help. i cant really find the angle i'd want on it, and i'm a little worried about inaccurately writing a burn injury lmfao

16. What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i'm good at writing emotional stuff when i really need to, especially when it's just sappy and good. i also think i can write action scenes pretty well. not FLAWLESSLY, but im proud of it

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

definitely how i describe certain things and my habit to repeat words, lmao. i fall into writing ticks a lot, stuff like "a bit" or just sticking to certain words, and i dont give AS much detail as i should sometimes when decorating a scene. its something im slowly working on, but def my weakness

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

not a bad idea at all, yeah. i say its good

19. First fandom you wrote for?

published was pokemon, but first i WROTE for was DBZ. i wrote a very small piece a long, LONG time ago, and i never published it or anything, it was just a small little idea i had. i think its lost to time now though lol maybe ill go look for it one day

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

GOD, this is hard. i love everything ive written, but i really have to give it to build fighters shining. despite not being done yet, BFS is my brainchild, its my self indulgent baby, i have poured my heart into that fic and i love developing the world in it and the custom gunpla and everything. i fucking LOVE build fighters shining, it is so fun to write for lmao

[themightyaliendwarf]

TPN s02e08

Maaan, what an rollercoaster! We literally go from amazing to fine to incredible. Which kinda makes me angry because this is how this season SHOULD look like. Okay, fine, let’s skip Goldy Pond, but let’s make it equally amazing as this. Just in an anime original way. And this episode proves they COULD do it. It’s a pity that it took them over a half of the season to reach this point. But let’s start from the beginning.

1. So, Peter Ratri is voiced by Yoshimasa Hosoya. I was joking with my friend that it might be the reason why the quality of the animation isn’t always the best - because he took a half of the budget. Anyway, I think he is doing a good job with voicing this character right now, but I will wait with the final judgement for the Peter’s meltdown scene. 

2. Just a fun fact I read in the manga: apparently when Isabella tells Norman that he is going to a new home, Shirai used the kanji that can also mean ‘cage’. 

3. Another thing I loved: they showed how Norman found about Vincent. It’s shown in the extra pages for one of the volumes (I don’t remember in which one right now).

4. Again, I like that the first 7-8 minutes were fully focused on Lambda. I think that this is something that anime-only people really needed (without the context, it’s difficult understand how MUCH those guys hate the demons and why). And for manga readers it was cool to see it in colour. But on the other hand, I’m kinda disappointed that they just showed us the images of the experiments. I think adding movement and sound would make those scenes absolutely terrifying. But hey, at least they showed it!

5. So, we found out a little bit about the escape, buuuut it was nearly as much as I was hoping for. Based on the panels in the manga, we could have already guessed that they used some kind of explosives. I guess we still need to wait for another special chapter/light novel.

6. Annnd after the amazing lambda part we jump to the search... Now, do you know why this whole thing was more engaging in the manga?

Because we got her. I don’t think it will be controversial if I say that the search for Mujika was really boring. Just a bunch of pictures and building up suspense by showing us that CGI demon. Speaking of that demon!

7. You know what pains a lot in this episode? SO MANY reused animations. I mean, the test solving animation, the demon, the chase, later the demons degenerating and demons eating other demons... look, I know they want to save money, but there are some limits!

8. Apparently Ray, a guy who has been living in the wilderness for months, needs a watch to tell that sun is setting. Just a minor nitpick that I had to point out. 

9. Okay, I think we can official crown Norman as our new edge lord. I mean that monologue on the top of the rock... I know that words are from the manga, but when it’s shown like that, it looks more silly than serious. Also, the quote ‘I will gladly become a God or a devil’, doesn’t make THAT much sense here, because we didn’t get this scene:

To me it felt like unnecessary fan service towards manga readers, but I’m happy for you if you liked this scene. Norman is allowed to become our tiny edge lord.

10. You know what made me angry? Don and Ray shooting the demon, but Emma and Gilda not. Yes, Emma does it a second later, but it became a trend to give her badass scenes to boys. The next scene, however, made me furious.

11. Ray shoots the demon and then he and Emma share a sigh of relief. But then it turns out that the wild demon is still alive and it’s going to eat Emma. Wait a minute... I have seen it somewhere... OH, RIGHT!

Of course, there are situations where Emma is the one who is being saved. The problem is that in the anime she is always being saved by someone - never the other way around. I’m happy that Ray is given stuff to do, but why is it that he is given Emma’s stuff. Come on!

12. Also, how did they know that it was Norman who caused the explosion? How far did they actually went? Are you going to tell me that they were in practically the same location for months and nobody found them? Again, those are nitpicks, but they bother me a lot!

13. Also, apparently the drug is now spread through the air, and Norman’s whole gang is made out of edge lords who need to stand dramatically on the chimneys. I can imagine that during planning they had a conversation similar to: - Boss, do you know what ever genocide needs? - What? - Dramatic JoJo posing over the burning villages.  - Good, good... write that down!

14. Okay, enough ranting, let’s move to the incredible stuff. First of all, the music in those last scenes really reminded me of the Witcher Soundtrack and I LOVE the Witcher soundtrack. So epic! 

15. I actually stopped taking notes at this point, because I was so immersed in everything that was happening on the screen. The music, the tone, the colours, the expressions - THIS! This is what this anime should be from the very beginning. Making us care about the demons, and showing that they are also the victims of this system. The actual dread and thriller, the moral issues, engaging plot lines.

16. The scene with the old demon and Norman? Good anime original content? How is it possible? When the old demon asks Norman whether he is a human and he doesn’t answer - because at this point he himself isn’t sure. Yes, give me more of that!

17. Norman being terrified after seeing blood on his hands? That’s a good change from the manga Norman, because it makes narrative sense. Really, CloverWorks, how can you make such an amazing scene after those 6 mediocre and one good episode? 

Anyway, it’s difficult for me to add anything right now because I don’t feel like I have enough words to describe how much I loved that last scene. Does it mean I have forgiven this season its previous sins? No, but I’m a happier person right now, and I’m REALLY looking forward into the next episode. 

[villa-kulla]

so I saw Avengers Endgame last night, and honestly.....

I actually frickin’ LOVED it haha, I haven’t genuinely enjoyed one of the Avengers ensemble movies that much since the first one. Granted I’m still very sleep-deprived and on a slightly giddy high from how much it exceeded my expectations haha, and once I’ve thought more about it I’m sure I’ll find things to nitpick. But for the time being, I’m still pretty much swooning.

FULL INCOHERENT THOUGHTS/REACTIONS TO SPECIFIC THINGS BELOW THE CUT, AND OFC, ***SPOILERS*****

ONCE AGAIN: ******SPOILERS********

these are just my rambling Emotions about different moments, ostensibly in the order they occurred in the movie, but actually in the order I remember them:

The opening scene: that moment when Clint turned away from his daughter, and then turned back to see just a few remaining ashes floating slowly where she’d been was beautifully shot. Also beautiful: the soft gasp that went around the theatre right when it happened haha

Killing Thanos within the first 10 minutes and breaking the expected formula and thereby thrusting the movie out into unknown waters? lmao WELL PLAYED, ENDGAME <3

Steve picking up Sam’s mantle and running a support group for survivors? flawless move. My heart couldn’t take it

Okay first thing I genuinely didn’t like: “fat Thor” as a punchline. It was so cringey. My friends and I were discussing how that actually COULD have been so great had they explored Thor’s breakdown and PTSD in a meaningful way, and I mean who wouldn’t adore thicc Thor? But instead we got comedic zooms on his beer belly, and yeah. Kudos to Hemsworth for being a gem and making it work but yeah. Nothing wrong with Thor going to seed physically as well as mentally, just wish it hadn’t been played for laughs is all

Tony basically ripping his heart out and putting it in Steve’s hand? I knew my Vintage™ Stony feels were going to resurface and oh boy did they ever haha

Honestly their whole dynamic in the movies works very well if you imagine that they had angsty hate sex that wasn’t actually hate sex at all, and there was the possibility of real feelings there, but for whatever reason they just couldn’t. quite. make. it. work.

That moment with Antman and Hulk’s fans was so genuinely awkward and I could not stop laughing. Paul Rudd is a gift

It only took them 7 years to realize that all fans ever wanted was the Avengers lounging around in hoodies and eating takeout, but it felt all the more earned for it haha

this is silly but it was nice to have a return to Nat’s red hair...sort of lol

TIME HEIST! TIME HEIST! TIME HEIST! TIME HEIST!!

^^^ That was around when I really started settling in like ‘oh this is gonna be good’

the only spoiler I was exposed to was the ‘Steve’s ass finally gets the recognition it deserves’ post, and did it ever

got as close as we’ll get to canonically bi steve rogers and imma take it haha. Checking out your own ass? Legends only (in fact in our post-movie debrief over drinks, our first toast was ‘here’s to bisexual disaster steve rogers’ he time heisted my heart all over again)

and honestly props to them for going the cute nostalgic route by revisiting all the old movies like that, and not trying to be overly ‘dark and gritty’ for the whole thing. It was lovely how they did it, and very appropriate

The ‘Come and get your love’ credits from GotG is like the only concrete thing I even remember from that movie lol, and I was so giddy when it resurfaced

I’ll be honest, I’m so over aliens and space lol, any time one of these movies goes to space I’m basically yawning instantly, I’M JUST NOT INTO IT FOR THESE MOVIES SORRY. So I’m glad the space stuff was kept to a minimum in this haha. The way they do alien civilizations just never really packs a punch for me, with the single exception of...

......NEBULA MY LOVE <3 She was always the most intriguing and raw of any of the characters in those movies for me. Karen Gillan gives her an amazing presence, so I was glad to see her get a good showcase in this one

Oh hi Robert Redford, I definitely wasn’t reading Butch and Sundance fan fiction on the bus to work 12 hours before this movie asdjhgf haha that was a fun surprise

“Hail Hydra” ajshgd FUCKING EPIC OH MY GOD. I couldn’t breathe. That was amazing.

On a much less lighthearted note.......Natasha. Oh god. I really didn’t think they were going to go there with any of the original six but they did. Natasha was my original fave at the tender of 18, I was completely in awe of how Scarlett portrayed her, immediately cut my hair and dyed it red in tribute haha, and claimed her as my OG fave. I adored her, and still adore her. And honestly, I would have been so much more upset about her fate if...it hadn’t been so completely right for her. As much as I hate to say it, what she did was very character-appropriate for her, and really brought her full circle. And sneaky/unexpected to the end omg. That’s my girl.  I’m a diehard Black Widow fan, and I think it’s safe to say she definitely wiped out the red in her ledger, if there ever was any left <3

.....that being said, really, no lingering zoom on a photo of her somewhere at the avengers compound? Nothing? The reaction immediately afterwards was well done, but it was kind of awks that it never came back with even a mention lol 

Loved the way they did the ‘Guys...I think it worked’ emphasized only by the sound of birdsong. This movie killed it with the quieter moments

And now for something absolutely not quiet:

STEVE!!!

CAUGHT!!!!

THOR’S!!!!

HAMMER!!!!

I HAVE NEVER HEARD A THEATRE COLLECTIVELY LOSE THEIR SHIT LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE

I may have screamed. So. fucking. aces.

Between ‘Hail Hydra’, ‘That is America’s ass’, and lifting the hammer, Steve really owned this movie didn’t he lol

that’s my boy <3

they may have turned steve’s last movie into an avengers movie, but man alive this avengers movie was pretty much steve’s show and he killed every second of it

I’m giddy just thinking about it 

And speaking of giddy, everyone’s return.....normally the big final climactic battle scene tends to pale in comparison to nimbler action sequences that happened earlier, but I said giddy and I meant it. They really pulled out all the crown-pleasing stops in it, and it was impossible to nitpick, I had the biggest fucking smile on my face the whole time

AND OH MAN THAT ONE LITTLE MOMENT WITH DR. STRANGE. HOLDING UP ONE FINGER. WHAT A MOMENT. INCREDIBLE. JAW-DROPPING. VISIONARY. TRANSCENDAENT. UPLIFTING. MY HEART SOARED.

Until......THAT MOMENT

“I am Iron Man”

TONY

Oh god

Everyone speculated it would happen, but I didn’t actually think it would. IDK MAYBE I’M JUST NAIVE LOL.

I was actually kind of numb there for a while and I stayed numb until....

“Your dad liked cheeseburgers too”

Yeah there was no recovering after that lol, I was basically a wreck until the end from that moment on

Man...Tony Stark actually died....

As powerful as it was, I don’t really think they had to go there in order to bring the pathos? Idk I have mixed feelings about that choice lol, his big moment was epic but you know what else is epic? Going back to your log cabin to live with your family in peace lol. Idk I’m still not sure how I feel about their choice with that, but maybe it just hasn’t fully hit me yet

Sam as the new Captain America?? A-fucking-men

And this brings us to the ending

the controversial ending which is already causing its own civil war based on what I’ve seen so far haha. And for what my two cents are worth....

I loved it. That was a bold move and I really have to give them props for choosing something risky and unexpected as a conclusion. 

That last shot was absolutely beautiful. The moment ‘It’s Been A Long, Long Time’ kicked in I think my breath caught. And that slow zoom in on the window to see Steve and Peggy dancing 11 years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe to a close, and sealing it with a kiss? Gorgeous.

I’m honestly choked up again just thinking about it lol.

And although it’s a small thing, no end credits sequence?? That’s what we call true closure lol, and I think that was what really hammered in the fact that it’s really all over, folks <3

Yes there were some nit-pickable things, some things that could have been better, or came too little too late, and I can’t even BEGIN to wrap my head around the time-travel implications in the conclusion (and I’m not sure we’re supposed to haha). But they took approximately 9000 storylines and characters and managed to represent them in what was actually a genuinely emotional, thoughtful, and entertaining movie that managed to smash the expected formula and the gently pick it back up again to piece together a satisfying, crowd-pleasing, and soaring resolution. Yeah a good deal of the emotional-payoff was already built in what with audiences bringing their own 10-year journeys with these movies to the theatre, and part of my excitement about this movie is definitely tied into the overall pop culture phenomenon itself. But as a movie it exceeded all my expectations, and I’m very satisfied. Thanks, Marvel. It’s been a good run <3

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #189 - Spy

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #358

Format: Blu-ray

1) So the movie starts by introducing us to a sort of typical white guy spy. A James Bond type, but without the British accent (for some reason). It starts with the familiar, the usual tropes, before really fucking them over when Jude Law (who for some reason is trying to do an American accent and he’s not doing it well) sneezes and accidentally kills a guy.

Which is an excellent joke to introduce is into the film’s wonderfully strong sense of humor. If you think you know how a trope is going to play out, you’re probably wrong. In fact, the entire opening sequence is a strong representative of how the film blends quality action with quality humor which will be consistent throughout the film.

2) Melissa McCarthy as Susan Cooper.

McCarthy is the foundation on which the rest of the film is built. From the very first minute we spend with her character she is established as not only good at her job but incredible at it. It is easy in spy spoofs for the main spy to be a bumbling idiot, but Susan’s continued competence is in fact one of the key factors which makes this film as incredible as it is. Especially considering the fact she does have some insecurities at the beginning, insecurities which are largely unfounded because she is fucking good at her job. McCarthy is able to have incredible warmth, heart, and vulnerability as Susan which she doesn’t always show in her film roles. But also when the script calls for it she can have this amazing brashness and humorous loudmouth/angry quality. Susan goes through an incredible transformation from the moment we meet her to the moment we leave her and McCarthy is able to play that absolutely perfectly. It’s HER story, it’s HER movie, and we are just along for the ride in an amazing way.

3) “Who Else Can You Trust?” is abbreviated in the film’s opening credits (I own the full version found on the album) but feels like a real Bond song with the opening credits feeling like a real Bond opening credits. This is part of the reason Spy is able to differentiate itself from other spy comedies like Austin Powers. It takes the genre, action, and stakes seriously throughout. This is real danger and true villains who are trying to get their hands on a nuke. It’s not like “oh, it’s funny because the spy is stupid and the bad guy’s want to kill all cats” or something like that. This sort of silly comedies can and have worked in the past, but Spy’s comedy is born out of its strong sense of characters and performances from the actor. Not by making fun of the genre, but embracing it in a wonderfully fun and funny way.

4) Jude Law’s Bradley Fine often times steps over the line which divides nice guy from Nice Guy™.

Susan: “Could you imagine me as a spy?”

[Fine, who has seen how badass she was in training, laughs at the idea.]

He’s an idiot and kind of a jackass. He may not actively be trying to belittle her but that’s what he does in pretty much 99% of their conversations. He’ll talk about how great she is but he gives her chores which she is overqualified for like picking up his laundry. It’s frustrating but then it’s supposed to be. It’s one of the key conflicts in the film that Susan is underestimated and belittled by all those around her because she’s not what a spy is “supposed” to be like.

5) This film is pretty freaking great, but it could’ve used a little more Morena Baccarin.

Honestly, everything could use a little more Morena Baccarin.

6) What the fuck is this bullshit? He’s secretly SLEEPING with this bad guy and yet…

Fine [upon being caught by villainess Rayna with a gun]: “An awfully big gun for such a little girl.”

7) Allison Janney is someone who I love in literally everything I’ve seen her in. Even when she’s pretty much the straight man in this, the CIA director, I am just drawn to her. I just really fucking love Allison Janney.

8) Jason Statham as Ford.

Holy fucking shit. Somehow Jason Statham is in a movie with modern day comedic legend Melissa McCarthy and ends up being the funniest person in the film. He is totally committed to Ford’s arrogance, jackass qualities, intensity, and hyper masculinity in a way which is 100% hysterical! It’s a tricky business because Ford doesn’t think he’s funny. Ford doesn’t think he’s weird or an idiot, and Statham plays it like that knowing it will derive the most laughs. Ford is basically the super testosterone filled action hero in every movie ever and Statham doubles that while stealing every single fucking scene he’s in. And his chemistry with McCarthy is off the charts funny! Melissa McCarthy is the bedrock this film rests upon but Jason Statham is the fucking cherry on top (I think I’m mixing my metaphors but whatever), he is absolutely amazing.

9) I love this because it makes me angry.

CIA Director Elaine Crocker [about why Fine pressured Susan to stay out of the field]: “Yeah, he sniped you.”

THIS IS REAL! THIS IS FUCKING REAL! MEN IN CHARGE KEEPING WOMEN DOWN BECAUSE THEY’RE WOMEN, WHETHER THEY KNOW THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE DOING OR NOT! GAH! I mean, the film including it is fucking awesome and handled really fucking well but holy shit it pisses me off that this is even a thing.

10) I find it endlessly frustrating (and I think I’m supposed to) that all of Susan’s aliases and spy gear are not the “sexy” stuff but things which could be considered “frumpy”. Why can’t she be a gorgeous baroness with a super slick ride and men on her shoulders? Have you seen Melissa McCarthy? She’s fucking gorgeous.

11) Melissa McCarthy has a very strong chemistry with Miranda Hart, who plays Susan’s best friend Chummy in the film. Their relationship in many ways is much more important than the ones Susan has with any other character in the film, including Fine. And you understand how good friends they are with each other as the movie continues. It’s really great.

12) Ugh.

Ford [after McCarthy points out he didn’t even like Fine]: “It’s called the rivalry of men!”

As a man I can say, “The rivalry of men,” is the equivalent of, “who’s dick is bigger,” because society has convinced us that we’re not a “real man” unless we’re the “biggest” man in the room. It’s fucking stupid.

13) One of the key things that makes Susan as strong a character as she is are her motivations. You understand what is driving her VERY clearly: her memory of Fine. It evolves into more than that as the film goes, it evolves into her just doing her job, but you understand why she does things which are outside of her norm. It’s because she is in pain over Fine’s (supposed) death and needs to make right by him. It’s clear and powerful and helps make the film as good as it is.

14) Aldo - as portrayed by Peter Serafinowicz (legendary character actor who can be found in Shaun of the Dead, Guardians of the Galaxy, the voice of Darth Maul in Star Wars: Episode I, and most recently “The Tick” on Amazon) is incredibly funny. Every overly sexualized moment with him & just his general chemistry with McCarthy makes him a worthy addition to the already stellar ensemble cast.

15) As I mentioned in note #10, I don’t understand why McCarthy is given all the frumpy gadgets and covers when she can pull this off:

She’s fucking gorgeous.

16) I’ve mentioned this with a few pairings before, but McCarthy and Statham have this intense/incredible comedic chemistry which is born out of their strong bickering. This is most plainly seen when they're both at the hotel/casino arguing and I think the fact I’ve mentioned it so often is just a sign of how well put together this fucking cast is.

17) There is an incredible sense of tension that plays through most scenes (for example: when Chummy is trying to kill power to the casino) which ties into what I mentioned in note #3: it helps elevate the film over silly spy spoof into this engaging and riveting action comedy.

18) Rose Byrne as Rayna.

Rayna was apparently originally written as a 19 year old girl (this according to IMDb’s trivia section), which makes a LOT of sense considering how much of a BRAT she is. Don’t get me wrong, Byrne is absolutely excellent at giving of the appearance of this elegant and sophisticated socialite. But that’s where the humor is from. The juxtaposition between what you expect from her (a refined Bond villainess) and what she actually is: a moronic spoiled brat. Byrne plays the humor and juxtaposition perfectly. The key part is that - like Statham - she’s not actively going for laughs. She’s not hyping up the stupidity or the silliness, acting like Rayna knows she’s stupid, but instead trusting the script and playing it in a way where Rayna takes herself seriously. And THAT’S the gag! And it’s great!

19) At this point Rayna has called Susan a child multiple times, compared her to a depress homeless clown, and insulted her ability to address herself.

Susan [to Rayna]: “Why are you being so nice to me?”

20) I’m starting to sound like a broken record but McCarthy’s ability to hold her own against how Byrne plays Rayna’s horridness is a testament to her talents as an actress and the chemistry between the pair. God, this movie is just so fucking funny.

21) I mentioned earlier that McCarthy gets the chance to play Susan as both more reserved and brash. It is when McCarthy is acting like “Amber Valentine” (the cover Susan uses to make Rayna trust her) that she gets to show off this aggression WONDERFULLY. It’s also wildly cathartic because a lot of people - including Rayna - have just been consistently putting Susan down for the ENTIRE film. Now she gets to go off on them and it’s amazing.

22) I’d like to point out that very few women die or get “fridged” in this film, not when compared to the men. I think during the entire movie only one woman dies but that’s a nice proportion swap to most male dominated action films. (How many women have died on Bond movies versus the men?)

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

23) The Budapest car chase scene is one of the strongest action set pieces in the film. It’s filled with this intense and enjoyable action, sprinkled with just enough jokes to make it hysterical, it’s well choreographed, and just altogether a fun ride.

24) But even the Budapest car chase can’t compare with the kitchen fight.

The action is INCREDIBLY well done. The fight choreography and energy throughout is just truly kinetic and it just grabs your attention and NEVER lets go. It’s just insanely well done and by far the best scene of the film.

25) I would like to point out - similarly as I did in note #4 - that Fine is kind of a jerk to Susan. He attributes her continued success to Rayna’s inexperience just casually, like it’s no big deal, not realizing he just undermined all the amazing things she just did in this film. Meanwhile the creepy sexpot of Aldo supports Susan and reminds her she’s been doing an incredible job in this film.

26) When Susan learns that Fine is alive, her entire initial motivation for going the distance of being a spy is gone. But that doesn’t matter because she’s not doing this for any man anymore. She’s doing this because it’s the right thing to do and because she knows she CAN do it. I love that. And when Susan embraces this and kicks some serious ass, Fine sees her for who she is.

27) Wait…I just realized that Ford didn’t actually DO anything in this film. He just kept getting caught and screwing up.

I love that! It’s so much funnier for me that way! :D

28) I love that it’s Chummy who saves Susan in the end. Not Fine, not Ford, but her best gal pal. Friendship over romance/sexual attraction is something I really appreciate.

29) And by the time the film ends, all three of the main guys - Aldo, Fine, and Ford - want Susan now. But she doesn’t chose a guy, she choses Chummy. She choses a night out with her girls instead of even Fine, the guy she’s been pining over FOREVER. I love that.

Spy is an incredibly funny and heartfelt film with a powerful message about competence/self worth. Melissa McCarthy gives an absolutely stellar performance and is surrounded by a just as strong supporting cast, with Jason Statham being a particular stand out. The action is crazy, the humor is spot on, the characters are well developed, and the relationships are pure. All in all, it’s just a really freaking good movie I think everyone should see.

[its-just-like-the-movies]

May Viewing List

Given that I now have two jobs that occupy a good amount of my week I’m so genuinely amazed I was able to get this close to last month’s number.

Casting JonBenet (17, B+/A-): As intimate with the actors as they are with their parts. Life experience as credibility in interpretation. - May 1, 2017 (review)

The Fighter (10, A-): O’Russell realizes the best possible version of this script to create a stunning, spiky showcase for everyone involved. - May 2, 2017

4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days (07, A-): An incredibly tense, textured portrait of two women in a time and place that’s slowly creeping back. - May 4, 2017

The Butler (13, C-): Gumpy, conventional plotting, odd casting & makeup undermines everything neat about Daniels. Amazingly broad. - May 4, 2017

Props to David Oyelowo for being the stillest thing in that movie, enhancing everyone else while giving a great, quiet performance.

Pitch perfect supporting acting. Great work, improves the lot, and you wonder why this isn’t a movie about him and the Black Panthers.

Don’t Think Twice (16, B): Spry cast, easy chemistry, remixed script beats elevate this tale of relocated dreams and success. Jacobs! - May 5, 2017

Nebraska (13, C-): Dern gets his Crazy Heart but instead fights flat, mean direction & plotting, false emotions & atmosphere, shitty musak - May 6, 2017

Face/Off (97, B+/A-): So deliciously, entertainingly Extra, finding the perfect tone to pull off this astounding nonsense. Cage! Allen! Woo! - May 7, 2017

Aladdin (92, B-): Feels like a different Disney musical than the 10′s movies. Lovely songs. Williams more magical than the Genie. - May 7, 2017

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (17, B): Such a wide color palette! Shaky til “Come a Little Bit Closer”, then becomes the space opera it dreamed of. - May 7, 2017 (review)

Who else thinks Guardians of the Galaxy 2 should’ve been a musical, and that the next one should just go for it?

Florence Foster Jenkins (16, B-): Great fun, especially the leads. Generous, but overly so? Seems to resist a deeper dive into her rise. - May 8, 2017

And with that, I’ve seen all the 2014, 2015, and 2016 acting nominees!

Nightcrawler (14, B-): Provocative, in distinct and generic ways, but strained. Wonderfully lit, creepy, and blunter than Snowpiercer. - May 8, 2017

The Innocents (15, B): Textured like a Gothic horror story. Milieu I’ve rarely seen in this genre. Intertwined, parallel narratives hit hard. - May 9, 2017

Autumn Sonata (78, B+): Bergman, Bergman, Ullmann, and Nyqvist just beat the shit out of me for ninety minutes and it was an incredible experience. - May 9, 2017

Dheepan (16, A-): I noticed so much more in practically every aspect the second time around. Camera, Srinivasan my favorite elements. - May 9, 2017 (rewatch)

Blue Jay (16, B+): Another one that spiked up for me. Dynamics even richer the second time around. Paulson and Duplass are so lovely! - May 10, 2017 (rewatch)

Blue Caprice (13, B+): Hard, risky, genuinely nightmarish. Symbiosis, paranoia as real bonding. Finds so many questions in its own answers. - May 11, 2017 (rewatch)

The Immigrant (14, A-): An operatic marvel, moving freely through every period of cinema. And so gorgeous! God rewatching things is great. - May 11, 2017 (rewatch)

The House of Mirth (00, B+): A warmer, more conventional, but just as impassioned cousin to Portrait of a Lady. Great look. Gillian shines. - May 11, 2017

The Lady Eve (41, A+): Lord why don’t they make them like this anymore? Quick, witty, lovely, silly, paced like a dream. Superb. Stanwyck!!! - May 13, 2017

I get how problematic the setup could be if made today, but it’s hard to image a modern comedy with this much genuine craft at all levels.

The Stanford Prison Experiment (15, B): Every element builds & improves as it goes. Not sure how much to credit any one part over source material. - May 16, 2017

Maybe because the real thing is so pervasive in the culture already but I’m not sure what I got out of this. Already thinking about B-.

Cool Hand Luke (67, B+): Lots to say about people, about one among many, and how we treat them. Newman makes it about a man. - May 16, 2017

We Own the Night (07, A-): Technical prowess and directorial strength ably fight off genre cliche. Tense, captivating, and very much Gray’s - May 16, 2017

Network (76, B+): THIS was the film so many adults have said I’d be inundated to because of the world now? Friend, that makes it stronger. - May 18, 2017

Malcolm X (92, B-): Artistically and politically valuable even in the sequences Lee is less interested in. Not always both at the same time. - May 19, 2017

That being said, Denzel is incredible, giving a massive performance in an epic that’s sporadically as alive as he is.

The cinematography, especially the lighting, is also really spectacular. It’s artistically strong across the board, just conventionally told.

Secret Sunshine (10, B+/A-): Grabs you by the gut with bracing handlings of trauma and religion, albeit with small hiccups. Jeon’s a marvel - May 19, 2017

The Wolf of Wall Street (13, D+): Is there anything to even say about it? No new ideas from scene one. Boring depravity. So visually dull. - May 20, 2017

Melina, after making a joke about snorting coke out of a stripper’s ass: ”Can women really have it all?”

Alien: Covenant (17, B-): The case against humanity, by David. Human stupidity as real plot logic. Sets, VFX even better than Fassbender. - May 21, 2017

After the movie I realized I almost have the same haircut that Katherine Waterston has. So that’s neat.

August: Osage County (13, C): Not all the pieces fit, especially with so many sharp edges shorn. But Streep’s incredible, Roberts gets it. - May 21, 2017

Passion (13, C): Weirdly uninspired style for such a pulpy tale. Awful sets balanced by great clothes. Score works. McAdams on point. - May 21, 2017

Love & Mercy (15, B): Limited in scope but what textures it finds. Separates art and madness even as they feed each other. Great leads. - May 22, 2017

All three really blew me away, and between this and the Manson You Must Remember This episode, hot damn are The Beach Boys interesting.

And on a totally unrelated note, Paul Dano can fucking get it. Oh yes. Yes he can. Young Brian did have a sweet bed. I’ll stop now.

The Final Girls (15, B+): There’s an even more inventive script in here, but so much more going on visually than I realized. Åkerman! - May 22, 2017 (rewatch) (review)

The Iron Lady (11, C): Damp rag baby of La Vie en Rose and The Whisperers. Messy camera and direction. How much really happened here? - May 24, 2017 (review)

Sweet Bird of Youth (62, B): Scrumptious. Not quite the play but expands nicely. Page a delectably seasoned ham, Newman a sweet hunk of meat. - May 25, 2017

Stage Door (37, A-): Is it a bird? A plane? No! It’s the inner lives of over a dozen artistic, intelligent women, right there on the screen! - May 25, 2017

Is there any point in film history where this project isn’t a miracle? Why hasn’t this been remade every ten years? God, was I in heaven?

Caterpilar (11, B): So confrontationally severe in content and style, even as it dilutes itself in the final third. Iffy taste, but it hits. - May 26, 2017

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (05, C+): No tweet (rewatch) - May 26, 2017

Me, watching Goblet of Fire: “Why couldn’t Ron have dated Hermione AND Krum?”

My mom, every time we watch a Harry Potter movie: “It shoulda been Harry and Hermione.”

Not to read too deeply into things but Ron being Harry’s person he has to save is Really Gay

Easy A (10, C+): Kinda spotty outside Stone, but boy does it care about her. And lord does she make it something special. - May 27, 2017

It’s abominable that with a filmography seemingly built on delightfully supporting women Stanley Tucci’s sole Oscar nomination is for Lovely Bones

The Banishment (07, B): Pace and length made me sleepy but Zvyaginstev’s formal control more than kept me awake. Oddly compelling. - May 29, 2017

The Miracle Worker (62, B+): Beats Arrival for conveying the power of language and understanding. Bancroft’s great, and Duke’s even better. - May 29, 2017

The Man With The Golden Arm (55, B): Sinatra does great work to elevate this semi-cliched tragedy, but Parker and the score hit a home run. - May 30, 2017

Paranoid Park (08, C+/B-): Never not overworked, especially sonically, but unbearable first half hour turns into a compelling yarn. - May 30, 2017

National Velvet (44, B): So kind to its characters, mature about their wants and ideas. Gorgeous, infectious, and well-acted to boot. - May 31, 2017

[absoluteabsolem]

I have seen Beauty and the Beast and I have a lot of things to say so.. here I come (spoilers, spoilers everywhere).

I won't lie, I went to the cinema with a lot of skepticism and apprehension because I legit thought it was going to be average at best. See I've always loved the animated version and it holds a sacred place in my Disney-fan small heart, so I was a bit scared they'd ruin it because well, what if the Beast is horrible, what if Lumière and Cogsworth and the whole family are completely messed-up, what if everything goes wrong, what if Emma Watson isn't a good choice for Belle after all, what if Be Our Guest is terrible, what if all the songs lose their magic even though Alan Menken is back for the soundtrack, what if what if what if.

My experience was a bit different than it would've been if I had seen the film in my regular cinema. You see, Beauty and the Beast was my very first IMAX experience (and my eyes took their time to adjust to the incredible visuals). It was amazingly beautiful, especially during a few scenes I'll mention later. Mind you, I didn't love everything in this live-action, but my global impression is more than positive. My expectations were low to say the least, and gods was I wonderfully surprised.

I got chills the moment I heard the first notes of the prologue, mostly because of the nostalgia. I think Alan Menken adapted the soundtrack as best as could be done, but some parts lacked a bit of the original magic in my opinion. The prologue has always been my favourite instrumental part, and the beginning of it wasn't as powerful as the original one (once we get to the enchantress, the instruments take you somewhere else entirely though). The introduction is narrated by Emma Thompson, and that was a wonderful idea. I've always loved her voice and damn she does the job. Everyone needs to know that.

A song was written for the film to present the arrogant and empty Prince as well as the people who lived with him; I disliked it, very much. There are two songs I always skip while listening to the soundtrack, and it's one of them. It made me feel nauseous at the very sight of the Prince, the whole scene was incredibly disgusting to my eyes and ears. Not because the actors and the song were terrible, but because of the toxic atmosphere coming from all these people.

Then the Enchantress showed up. She had some Galadriel vibes, she was mesmerizing. It was my « oh, I guess it won't be so bad » moment, that's when I decided I would stop living in fear of every single scene. The Enchantress my dudes, the Enchantress was perfect. Something I loved in this version is that they covered every narrative error (there might be new ones but I didn't see them); the Prince hasn't been a Beast for 10 years so he wasn't 11 at the time but already a grown-ass bitch; the Enchantress erased everyone's memories of the castle and the people who lived in it, thus why no one ever looked for them. Also, every time a petal falls, the dishes lose a bit of their humanity (until they turn into litteral objects once the rose has died) and the castle crumbles a little. I think it makes the whole thing a bit more adult, it adds a dark side to an already quite gloomy story (when you think about it).

I loved the way Belle's song was filmed, the choregraphy was incredible, and my heart melted when Emma Watson sang the part about the book she's reading. Of course it's also the time we get introduced to Gaston. LeFou and Gaston's dynamic is amazing, they're both far more fabulous in the live-action. Their dialogues never failed to make me laugh, and a few scenes with Maurice were just perfect.

Since I'm talking about Maurice, another moment created for this film was a short song sang by him once Belle comes back home, and I loved it. Maurice has a real personnality here, you get attached to him quite quickly, Kevin Kline did a wonderful job. You learn a lot of things about Belle's mother. Every single character has a real backstory here and it was interesting to discover all these new things (even the Enchantress is a more or less regular character). Even Philippe is still a mighty hero.

The first time Belle and Beast meet was great, they changed it a bit because her father doesn't want to leave so she throws him out of his cell and locks herself in it. Also it's Lumière who opens the door to show Belle her new room, so it clearly shows than the Beast does not give a single fuck about Belle at the time when he was a bit more polite in the animated.

Once we go back to the village, it is of course, time for Gaston's song, and it's beautiful, though less exaggerated as could be anticipated (animation has no limits right). LeFou steals the show here (and he's totally gay for Gaston). There's an instrumental part in the song where everyone is dancing on the tables and all and it was so cool you guys. I was waiting for this scene to come and I was not disappointed.

I didn't rly mention Lumière & Co before please forgive me; Ewan McGregor's completely failed French accent is the best thing I've ever heard, everyone is perfect in their roles but what can I say Lumière has always been my fave. The design of everyone in the castle in so on point my dudes ! I gotta say I have a bit of a problem with the permanent duck-face of the Beast but hey they did their best (plus you only notice it when he's not moving and the camera is focused on his face).

But now my dear friends, now is the time to talk about the very best thing in this film. The song we all waited for (nO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT EVERMORE YOU LITTLE SHITS), the song that made me wish I could visit that bloody castle when I was a kid..

Be. Our. Guest.

You guys. Fellow bros. You all need to see and listen to Be Our Guest. It's perfect, it's a magical experience, Ewan McGregor is wonderful, the choregraphy is so mind-blowing the special effects team probably had a few nervous breakdowns while doing Be Our Guest and it was worth all the struggle. IT WAS SO FUCKING GORGEOUS ALL THESE COLOURS *coughs* srsly watch this film in IMAX if you can. I couldn't stop smiling during the whole scene (also I cried a little because I loved it so much but shhhh). There are no words to truly express how I felt during that moment, I wanted to sing along and annoy everyone in the cinema but I didn't 'cause I'm a nice person. It was flawless.

The way the Beast and Belle slowly discover each other is still lovely af, especially when he shows her the library (in a different way than he does in the animated and I gotta say I prefer this version, it was funnier but still in character). They spend a lot of time together reading lots of books and you can feel time passing by where it could seem like the story took 3 days to happen in the animated (and thus giving assholes a reason to shout WOW STOCKHOLM SYNDROME WOW WOW)

And while we see a romance blossoming we can also observe Gaston revealing his rotten core, his charming mask falling to show us what a monster he is. Luke Evans is absolutely terrifying in this film. He just seems kinda dumb at the beginning but then LeFou fails to calm him and the real beast of the film is released. We see it when Gaston tries to kill Maurice by leaving him unconscious in the woods after failing to find the castle, but in the Mob Song it's truly terrifying. I've read a few reviews and everyone agrees that the Mob Song in the live-action is far, far better than the animated one. The only complain I have is that the camera doesn't focuse on Gaston during the whole thing, and it's not a very important detail so yeah, the Mob Song slays (also Luke Evans sings divinely and LeFou has a great line in the song you need to listen to it just for that tbh).

(if you've seen the film you'll notice I didn't talk about Evermore because I hate that song even if the idea of the Beast climbing his castle to see Belle leaving breaks my heart, I think it was ridiculous. Sorry guys)

OH ALSO I FORGOT but there's a new song taking place after Belle enters her room for the first time, and everybody sings in it, it's kind of a different version of Human Again but better in my opinion. It's so lovely, the lyrics are simply beautiful.

aNYWAY this is getting quite long so I'll try to make it quick. The battle between Lumière & Co and the villagers is really cool, it's also the moment Gaston betrays LeFou so he decides to join the good guys, because LeFou actually is a nice person.

I'm kinda disappointed Gaston's hair isn't loose when he fights the Beast in this version because I just really love long hair and it made him look even more insane. He also uses a gun instead of a knife and shoots the Beast four times if I recall well. His eyes are cold af while he does it but I think killing someone with a knife is more personal and shows more hatred than using a gun, so I was a tiny bit « meh » during that part, but it was still breath-taking. Gaston telling the Beast he's there to kill him because Belle sent him, then the last spark of hope leaving the Beast's eyes THEN BELLE SHOWS UP AND GASTON GETS FUCKING REKT BY THIS GIGANTIC ANGRY LION anyway it was great I just like to rant about details no one else notices.

But then !! shit happens !!! the Beast dies before Belle tells him she loves him, the last petal falls, Lumière & Co turn into objects, despair and sorrow is everywhere, tHE CURSE IS NOT BROKEN BUT DO NOT FEAR MY DUDES THE ENCHANTRESS ENTERED THE CASTLE WITH ALL THE OTHER VILLAGERS AND SHE SAW THAT BELLE LOVED HIM SO SHE BREAKS THE CURSE HE COMES BACK TO LIFE AND HE TRANSFORMS

THE RIDICULOUS FIREWORKS ARE NOT THERE IN THE LIVE-ACTION

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAITED FOR THOSE SILLY THINGS TO GO AWAY ???

HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW LONG I WAITED ?

TWELVE YEARS

IN AZKA- wait a second

anyway

I absolutely loved the transformation, the music was beautiful and there was a golden mist and petals around the Beast it was so, so perfect. THEN BELLE SEES HIS EYES AND SHE'S LIKE « IT IS YOU » AND I'M LIKE YES IT'S HIM YOU FUCKING IDIOT DIDN'T YOU SEE HIS PORTRAIT IN THE FORBIDDEN WEST WING THAT DOESN'T EXIST okay no I didn't think that but I could have

Then everyone becomes human again and we see Cogsworth trying to run away from his newly-returned wife, Lumière and Plumette discreetly leaving because they're horny af, Mrs Potts hugging Chip and everyone's happy and Gaston's corpse is rotting somewhere and LeFou has a new boyfriend and people sing and everything's fine now, and I'm so happy I saw this film in IMAX it was absolutely worth it and you should all give it a try even if you're an annoying purist motherfucker like me (jfc this is a very long review I'm so sorry).