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#god. it doesn’t even feel that long
singinbluebird · 4 months
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I love Tsumugi Aoba so much
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I hate this fucking manga how am I supposed to have a life and write essays about shit when I sit down start to think and all that comes to mind is some gay little toilet freaks istg it’s a hard knock life
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edwinisms · 3 months
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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it#cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible#I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder#because I think…..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and#open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running#but i don’t think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship#if you mean ‘fell for’ in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but that’s not what im talking about here#I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because like… the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him#as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew#each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he#did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel#he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early#whereas with charles… yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely would’ve been impacted by the#tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldn’t be scared. that’s absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to#want to be with him and protect him and so on#but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think#but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is#down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesn’t realize– the sheer amount he restates how he’s content so long as#he’s with edwin. how he doesn’t want to be anywhere where edwin can’t follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him#to be the kindest and most incredible person he’s ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc#that’s not to say edwin doesn’t feel a similar amount of devotion– but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a#fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul#idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesn’t even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY don’t have a super#strong feeling either is absolutely correct. it’s so difficult to answer they’re both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH#payneland#dead boy detectives#rambling#polls
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ottoslab · 1 year
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You know: Re: “there’s an in-story reason there are no fat characters in xyz media,” I feel like there’s a lack of understanding about the root idea behind why there should be fat characters regardless of the “in universe” explanations.
Im going to keep this conversation in line with Into the Spiderverse/Hero media, because I’ll be honest: I don’t disagree with the idea that there’s never a reason for there to be less body type diversity in a cast. I think the reasons are fewer and far between than people claim, but I don’t think they’re not there. Maybe it’s important for worldbuilding, maybe there’s another reason. Just getting it out of the way so I can say that I’m not talking about these specific instances where fat characters wouldn’t work in the narrative for whatever reasons.
I’m talking about: Spider-Man cant be fat. He’s too busy running around and swinging on webs to be out of shape. There’s no way there could be a fat avenger, they’re way too active. Etc etc.
Ok. Cool. I don’t care.
When it comes to body diversity in media, my first thought is not usually the in-universe reasons for the body diversity, for fat characters being fat. My mind is always going to the intention behind the writing first and foremost.
The Spider-Man series, and a lot of superhero stories, are stories about empowerment. Spider-Man itself is a character built around the idea that “anyone can wear the mask.” The spiderverse movies are built around that idea.
Spider-Man, in universe, is a character who fights crime, who has the weight of the world on his shoulders, who does super cool stunt moves and is usually like 16 years old and fighting off super monsters.
But, like. That’s the in universe stuff. The subtext, the reasoning for the plot, the character evolution, is so much more than that, isn’t it? It’s a story about empowerment, about encouraging the viewer, you, whoever you are absorbing this media, to take great risks and to evolve. Spiderverse isn’t asking you to put on a mask and swing around and fight a woman with octopus tentacles. Spiderverse is using a very specific in-universe challenge to ask you how you’d operate with great power, and the price to use it responsibly. Etcetera etcetera. Generally speaking.
And anyone can be viewing that story. Even a fat person. Who wouldn’t “realistically” be able to be a spider-man. Fat people still face adversity, still identify with having goals and taking risks. Like anyone else. That’s the point of the “anyone can wear the mask” thing. Why couldn’t there be a fat Spider-Man, for audiences to relate to just as much as they would a skinnier Spider-Man, but with the added “hey, that’s like me,” factor for some people who don’t usually get that?
And then comes the other stuff. The fact that, while a lot of media may not have positive representation of fat characters, they still have fat characters. They still exist. And where are they?
Well, usually being the butt of the joke, probably.
We can’t have a fat spider-man, but we can have a Peter B. Parker, down on his luck, pitying himself for the decisions he won’t make, at a low-point in his life. And how do we portray this? Oh, yeah, we’ll have him be fat. And we won’t stop pointing it out. We won’t stop mentioning it in a way that would have a laugh-track playing after every mention if we could. Because being fat is bad, because being a fat spider-man means you’ve done something wrong. And once you’re doing better? You’ll be less fat, probably. Because it means you’re probably doing something with yourself.
I don’t mean to say that there’s absolutely no reason a person could gain weight when they’re at a low point in their life, or that losing weight can’t be a sign of someone’s progress in their life. But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the writing, I’m talking about the framing of this. Peter B. Parker is the only fat Spider-Man in Into The Spiderverse, (I know there are plus sized background characters in across the spiderverse, but theyre few and far between and do not take away from the treatment of Peter B in the first movie) and they’re going to make sure you remember that, and they’re going to hope you laugh at him for it. Peter B Parker isn’t a real person, but a real person, real people, had to write his character and how people treated him.
TLDR: If you’re making a story, I don’t give a shit if there’s “no reason” for a character to be fat in universe. Let them be fat anyways. There’s probably “no reason” for half of the things they are or aren’t, but we still give characters those traits anyways. And I guarantee, in the stories where there “shouldn’t be” fat characters, there will be anyways. They just will be there to be laughed at, to point at as a sign of “greed,” to be the antithesis of what the protagonist should be. Because from a writing standpoint, apparently, where anyone can wear the mask or whatever, being fat is still wrong.
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sootcrow · 4 months
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Wishful dreaming
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I can only hope, someday.
Happy Pride Month.
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sharkzippo · 1 month
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fics that remember jubilation lee is actually in the original trilogy ( despite having less than a second of screen time ) and have her as john’s actual non-bobby best friend are so big brained, actually. and they’re right! jubilee is 100% john’s bestie and his worstie all rolled into one.
#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ ooc : maybe magneto had a point actually.#jubilee being more john’s friend and kitty being more of bobby’s#it just feels right!!!#god i love thinking about the pre movie school dynamics. they’re v interesting to me!!#i don’t think john had many friends outside of bobby. like... it really might have just been jubilee because she’s as stubborn as he is#and refused to be pushed away no matter how much john tried to scare her off with his asshole persona.#like if bobby is his best friend then jubilee is his closest just by the nature of their personalities#as much as ​john loves bobby (which is part of the problem) they end up butting heads more often than not.#there are things he can’t talk to bobby about. things bobby doesn’t and couldn’t understand just because of the sheltered life he had.#but jubilee does#and even though he’d make jabs about her 'finding another pet project to fix' she has become one of the more important people in his life.#she’s the one person he actually feels bad about leaving behind once he leaves.#but yeah!!!!!!#these tags have gotten too long and i probably should have just put my ramblings in a normal post but oh well#even tho ​i don’t write with any jubilees (yet?) i wouldn’t expect them to adhere to any of this anyway!#this is all just personal headcanon and mostly serves to round out my john’s life prior to what we saw on screen#but if any jubilees are reading this (👀) ​i’d be more than happy to plot or discuss any different ideas you may have!
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whoblewboobear · 2 months
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Staring down that weird feeling of feeling like too much or out of place or annoying if I say too much or say things too loud or too off-putting to be like- WANTED in any given social situation. To try so hard to socialize just to- idk. I’d very much like to stop defaulting to that scared kid that was pushed away or talked over until I got old enough and desperate enough to say any and every rapid fire thought that comes to mind. Like filling space when there’s dead air then wondering if maybe I did the Too Much™️ thing again and A. Scared everyone away or B. Pushed everyone away so it would hurt less when they leave BC of A.
Of feeling like I need to be useful or smart or talented or pretty or SOMETHING worthwhile so people want me around. I can just be but then it’s like just being has never been enough for anyone to like- stay. Or care. Running is always a mistake bc it’s like riiiight.. no one noticed you ran, babe. You’re not even at the top of their list people to want around. And just feel so low about it that I talk myself into feeling miserable again.
I’m happy, ive been so much happier lately and i dont take it for granted bc it’s so rare that things go okay or that there’s a sense of peace for a moment. I’m creating again and im less hard on myself about it. I have hobbies again, I’m making friends. And still I’m like seeing the other foot start to drop in real time bc it’s like. You’re in, but are you? That constant nagging voice that sounds so much like my own going “lonely again? Good you deserve it”
#me: there’s time..#also me: THERES NO TIME#now see the thing they don’t tell you about taking lexapro is that you’ll have the motivation and energy to reinvest in hobbies when you’ve#been in depression hell for so long#also thank god it makes the excessive worry thoughts thiiiiiis loud 👌#like nooo babe there’s time#there’s always time if I’m okay with the crushing feeling of splitting my attention TOO much that I don’t connect with either fandom#that’s spooky#shaking and screaming like ‘don’t look at the notes it doesn’t matter’#and it truly doesn’t#sigh#I just keep coming back to that Brennan/hank green clip#where Brennan is talking about feeling like you just /dont/ belong even tho u did commit to trying you’ll always have that scared little#kid at the back of your mind with no friends reconfirming that no one likes you#I don’t know..#in theory people like me#but /i/ can never be normal about it#and I keep like.. I dunno#it’s tough spending your whole life never being the one people seek out#never the one that people WANT to hear talk#constantly feeling like too much and wondering if I should pull back#for people to get weirded out when I pull back#it’s exhausting#and it’s lonely#and even after 24 years I’m still the same insecure kid talking in the group chat while everyone else is silent#like am I too much am I too desperate#even like talking to my mom- who’s opinion of me truly doesn’t matter anymore just constantly interrupt me or talk over me#or ignore me so I’m repeating myself over and over just to give up#personal#fuck
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deepseawave · 2 months
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
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#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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tiredf-o-u-r · 1 year
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You’re telling me they were so mean to leighton he wanted to kill himself.
And they had a friend that killed himself.
:/
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againstthegrainphoto · 5 months
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You ever stand over your father’s grave in tears and have your mom try to use him to make you believe in her fairy tales??
Truly think we’ve hit a new low.
Unfuckingbelievable.🥺
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Mmmmmm thinking about Nine the fox walking around with his two bodyguards (Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic) again
The fox and his most devoted halberds who are also possessive bitches
No but like but like I need you to understand
Chaos Sonic who was originally revived to take Sonic's place, to fill the hole in a frienship Nine came to believe as fake, and yet clearly held onto so dearly. Chaos Sonic, who was supposed to be the same as before, except made to be Nine's devoted best friend who would never betray him.
Alpha Grim Sonic who Nine reportedly modeled after the hedgehog he (foolishly) thought of as a friend. A robot copy of Sonic who would not talk back, who would not think, who was only made to serve and protect Nine.
Chaos Sonic, whose time spent with Nine turned programmed allegiance and care into some form of love (obsession and possessiveness)
Alpha Grim Sonic, who was not supposed to think and feel. And yet, with time spent serving Nine and opposing Shadow, he begins to feel and to think (a budding soul forming within his metal frame and existing beyond his programming). A robot created to protect and serve, whose feelings for his creator and master begin to grow over time.
When did his internal drive shift from playing the role of Nine's best friend? When did he begin to resent Sonic for what he did to Nine? When did he begin to want to see Nine happy and safe and accomplished (rather than just simply alive and able to complete his goals)? When did he begin to crave Nine's attention and to make him stop thinking about Sonic?
Wasn't he programmed to be no more than an unfeeling robot, a set of algorithms designed to allow him to fight, protect, serve, and strategize only as needed? Why does he want to hurt Shadow so much (is it really just out of the drive to protect Nine, or is it to make the hedgehog pay?)? He'd follow Nine's orders to the ends of the earth, but why does he worry about Nine when they’re separated? Why has he started to covet Nine's smiles and bouts of happiness? Why does he feel annoyance when Nine converses with Chaos Sonic like he's also not there? Why is he starting to understand why Chaos Sonic resents Sonic, beyond the fact that Chaos Sonic has always fancied replacing him? Alpha Grim Sonic has never wanted to replace the real thing, never understood why Chaos Sonic would, but he's starting to understand jealousy (in the way one begins to feel things they cannot put words to).
Chaos Sonic would tell you it's because he and Nine are best friends. Alpha Grim Sonic would tell you that it's because Nine is his master. Yet, deep down, the two have begun to want to be useful and important to Nine. They want to protect him and see his goals through past any loyalty programming. It does not matter whether such an outcome was inevitable or not (based upon their programming or the holes Nine made them fill in his life), only that they believe that they'd choose this even if Nine tried to let them go.
And Nine... Nine who creates distance between himself and the two robots almost instinctively, as if he's trying not to grow attached (ironic, given the roles he placed the two in, the holes in his life he made them fill after he believed that Sonic had backstabbed him). And yet, just as much as he insists that Alpha Grim Sonic is cold and unfeeling and programmed to serve or that Chaos Sonic is just like that (given the personality programmed into him and his similarities to Sonic) and was programmed to follow orders, he finds himself beginning to value the two as more. He should see them as tools, he tries to think of them as tools. And, yet, over time, the two become irreplaceable agents of his will. He can’t allow himself to believe they really care about them, but he wants them to know that he likes having them around, that no other robot can fill the roles he programmed them for, and no real mobian could be as effective as them (even if it's embarrassing to admit). They become...a comforting presence, especially when he's stuck in the Grim post canon, practically alone, closed off from being able to see Sonic again
Do you get me do you get me?
#sonic prime#sonic the hedgehog#miles nine prower#nine sonic prime#nine the fox#chaos sonic#alpha grim sonic#chanine#nine x alpha Grim sonic#alpha grim sonic x nine#nine x grim sonic#grim sonic x nine#chaos sonic x nine#nine x chaos sonic#crystalbondshipping#crystalbond#For now that's my on the spot Alpha Grim Sonic/Nine ship name#i just be ramblin#Gaaaaah I'm just lowkey obsessed with these relationships that only exist in my head#What's more delicious is that none of these three really know much about love (and Nine and Chaos Sonic barely have a leg up in having some#sort of understanding of best friendship)#So all three of them just have complicated feelings regarding each other. All the robots know is that they want Nine to be happy and healthy#and safe‚ all Nine knows is that he doesn’t want to see them destroyed#‚ and while Nine is coming to terms with wanting those two at his side always‚ the other two know they just want to be beside Nine as long#as they live#And by god the ways Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic mirror and foil each other gets me‚ even down to their design differences and the way#Chaos Sonic was intended to be like Sonic‚ while Alpha Grim was intended to be without personality and feeling#Or even just the way that Chaos Sonic and Alpha Grim resent and have a thing for fighting Sonic and Shadow respectively#But just as much as there's fun in Nine embracing his devoted robots (power thruple)‚ there's inherent tragedy in those two being unable to#escape or surpass Nine's memory and feeling for Sonic the Hedgehog
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ryryryryryryryryry · 6 months
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So,
my partner and I don’t live together yet. I live in a 400 sq ft cottage with no space because I have a toddler and a cat and a dog, and I’ve only let him sleep over once so far because our schedules are wonky (he works 4 pm - 2 am and I’m up at 6 am and go to sleep at 9 pm, so it just doesn’t work). We’ve been looking at houses, we’ve probably gone to 17 open houses/showings at this point and we showed up today to an open house that had 12+ cars outside and I’m just starting to feel so downtrodden by the whole situation. I sold my old house and I’m thankful I did, but now I’m going to have a shitty interest rate and probably a shit ton of work to do on a new house, I’m just feeling very overwhelmed.
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m1d-45 · 1 year
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here's a sagau concept— reader plays a song that features some deep, terrible, tender yearning, like perhaps your best american girl or strawberry blond. i just want to see... characters who hear how reader hurts, how they ache. class of 2013, first love / late spring, i want you. can you tell that i'm a mitski fan?
if you mean this as in reader is yearning over something in your world, they’re worried. how could you want for something so badly without getting it? if it’s a person, then how could they deny you? they don’t know where you are exactly, but surely they’re aware of your status, right? you’re being treated with all the delicacy you deserve? so why do you still long for something? why do you not have whatever or whoever it is you desire? don’t cry, please, let them comfort you for a while.. here, if you get better artifacts, will you feel better? if they make their specialties more often when you cook, if they crit more and say your favorite lines, will you stop crying? they know they can’t directly help, but stay online a little more, spend time with them. at the very least, they can be a distraction, right?
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Idk I just think that treating your child as less-than on the basis of them being your child (whom you are responsible for having) is kind of very shitty
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marybatson · 1 year
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thinking more abt modern hero comics tht ive personally read (personal opinion foreshadowing) but even though more and more writers acknowledge the existence of found family as a trope is it just me or is it even less….effective now? like idk if it’s the consciousness of found family that makes some teams or families seem sooo forced, only having like a semblance of what those blistering dramatic bantery 90/2000s comics used to have. and how it’s just kinda tryhard now. idk there’s an authenticity to the kind of random groups + time + place of comic hero found family that just doesn’t show up much nowadays. even the wannabe ragtag groups feel a little too polished…
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phantom-does-a-thing · 5 months
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It’s almost worse knowing they hurt me unintentionally because I don’t have any right to hate them. It was an accident, they didn’t know, but still I have breakdowns at the mention of them and they don’t even know.
#I haven’t talked to them in months#and by god I don’t want to talk to them again#because it hurts So Bad#and I’m not even in the right to hate them bc they didn’t do it on purpose#I’d rather them do it on purpose because then I could hate them#because I’m angry and upset and I had a panic attack last night about it#this person who probably doesn’t even think about me for a second#and they’re constantly in my mind making me feel like crap#that’s not fair#I hope my name is never in their thoughts again and I hope they always wonder why I stopped talking to them#I wanted closure before but it’s too late for that because it’s been long enough that#wtf would I even say?#you hurt me. you abandoned me? but I’m the one that stopped talking#it felt like you abandoned me and I didn’t have the energy to keep up a one sided talk#when I know there were people who would talk to me#I know you’re busy. but at least something would be nice#I’m needy. and clingy. and I KNOW that#but still. it hurts because it’s like everything I always get left behind and they’re the PRIME example of that#I don’t even know why they hurt me so bad#maybe it was because it was someone I trusted completely#someone that I was closest to above all else above everyone else#I trusted them. I loved them. we talked about getting to meet up one day#but I hope that when they come up here I am Long Gone and they never think of me again#I trusted them enough they knew my state. I trusted them with parts of myself I barely trusted anyone else with#and the absence hurt like hell#and there wasn’t even one big event to break it off#just a slow deterioration in anxiety and stress that sometimes bubbled up in a message#but I always kneecapped the conversation because never was a good time to have it#and then just no more messages#I should block them. but I don’t want to ruin all the messages we had
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