#god. fucking hell. Im going to kill a man
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classic-jamie · 1 month ago
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every time i talk about jamie and santiagos weird WEIRD fucking relationship i always feel like this image
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aroacesofspades · 5 months ago
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^ face of someone (me) who just finished the arcane finale
#GOODNIGHT I NEED TO PROCESS#im STRUCK#there r tears rolling down my cheeks fuck this damn show😭😭 (affectionate. this is the peak of all media ever)#okay yall arcane spoilers#arcane#arcane s2#that ending was honestly SO well done#the WHOLE finale#and all the rest lmao#but fucking GOD#the cycle....and the way each character was considered within..just- SO GOOD#and ekko......#and JAYCE oml yall better take back all the shit tbh he's genuinely become such an intriguing character throughout s2#and going to admit. i did Not care abt him in s1 sry😞#but the s2 arc has been captivating from the start and jayce is NO exception#also viktor's eyes im so glad we got to see them again. ohhh the irony of grief and relief mean SO much to me#his eyes. mean sm to Me. doomed scientist yaoi i lov e u#and mel.....omg not much to say regarding initial thoughts. im afraid haha. buuut i wanted to learn more about her link to the black rose#LOVED ambessa. her characterisation was so brilliantly captivating that i dont think i ever rlly hated her lmao#and jinxx omfg im sick. i love her so much. oh fucking hell ep7 killed me actually. im dead.#the sisters r so close all throughout the show and i loved the little direct confirmation of this like i actually started crying then#and VI oh my goddddd vi. could write a thesis on her. the visual rep of the lessening of her guilt after jinx. with singing. with acceptanc#oh fml im going a little insane i love this show so much#and VANDERRR and the beast and FUCK how even at the end he covered jinx.#i love how the show covered her end. it feels like a sigh of relief. the final breath. u end up hoping the best for her.#OH MAN THE MUSIC STARTED AND I STARTED CRYING SO HARD.#this is s1 ep3 all over again#oh and HOLY SHIT we got lesbian sex im ECSTATIC. thannk u fortiche for the whole show but yeah. especially. uhm. this.#okay im loggin off now i need to clock out and sleep. process my thoughts and then word vomit tmr.#nyx talks shit
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lovelyisadora · 2 months ago
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“are you going to do something productive today” killing her killing her killing her
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marsbotz · 3 months ago
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i ship inhun in a way that differwnt and more swagful than anyone else btw.
#TBFHHHHH i know i know i knowwww i say a lot. but i dont even ship in in the traditional sense#i dont think it will b canon and i dont rlly WANT it to b canon. its just insane like ZAMNNNNN why r u looking at each other like thatatttt#i dont think that if (IF) inho reveals his identity gihun is gonna magically b like Oh my god… okay well i like u now. more the opposite#and i dont think inho genuinely likes gihun all that much. i think hes obsessed w him in a way that borders on it but. u know#to inho gihun mostly just represents the parts of himself hes locked away. hes like the person inho used to be or cld have been#i think he DOES want whats best for gihun but like. just in his own opinion#to him whats best is to just.. pretend these issues dont exist and move on.#i think being wrapped up in the games is sickening no mattter what side ur on and he knows this. and just wants gihun to forget#i also do think he sees Something special in gihun. but its not like Ahhhh come and rule by my side 😈 LOL#yeah like i said. the recognition of the self. DONT GO DOWN THIS PATH MAN FUCK OFFFFFF#um. also yeah gihun i dont think wld have such a thrn around to like date himmmm oh my god lol#i think its likely hell end up Not killing inho for various reasons and possibly even leaving room for redemption#but yeah i dont think he wld ever trust him even. i dont think he wld let all that slide 😭😭😭#gihun x youngil is bantssss. but not real at all sadly#rhe best fic i read of them was a pre series fic where inho wasnt the front man yet. and he met gihun by chance#and kinda used him to convince himself that what he was doing was right. For The Greater Good etc#i cant remember what it was called but it was sooo good i need to find it sometime#sniff….. living in a sad world where every body mischaracterises them sooooo bad and evil.#THE BEST INHUN CONTENT was the animation of them over the megamind breakup scene. MY GOD#ill be honest. igaf abt their dynamic soooo hard but htemain reaosn i ‘ship’ them is bc theyre both INSANELY FINE. AND I NEED THEM BADLY#and. im obsessed w them separately. so of course they are making out sloppy style in my mind#ill b honest as well i dont think gihun is in the right state of mind for aany of That AT ALLLL rn either.#and as well w inho not being intersted in that way. and also he shot his brother bc it was aconflict of interests. btw.#whatever tho lol the memes and shit r funny as fuckkkkk so idc. keep fucking#anyways sangihun 🔛🔝 for fucking everrrrrer in terms of an actual ship#tho i dont think they wld ever be canon either. well i mean. for obvious reasons#but also bc i dont PERSONALLY think sangwoo wld ever allow himself that. BYE#idk idk idk maybe i am wrong and i know nothing.#SORRY. ik i am fighting invsisible demons again i just saw a post abt Sickos who know Nothing abt the Themes…. NO GUYS.. PROMMY THATS NOT ME
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thereliesme · 1 year ago
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tags 🥰
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I love Alastor because like he experiences a singular human emotion and immediately has a breakdown and starts villain monologuing like he's me for real
#warning big rant takes a deep breath#this man is really the definition of fake it till you make it#he really thought#im gonna make these people believe that i care about them by doing things for them when im actually using them for my own malicious intents#and absolutely nothing is gonna go wrong because i know myself and i got this under control#and then he almost fucking dies. in battle. with the fucking adam himself.#what was he thinking? that he could actually kill adam? maybe#yes sure he is arrogant and cocky and one of hell’s overlords but hes not at the same level as adam or god forbid lucifer himself so#so what was he really thinking when he said im going to go into battle with the heaven’s strongest to why? to protect himself?#or protect his reputation as the hotel’s protector and hotelier?#but then again!! why did he almost die for them. was his reputation and his facade really so important that he almost had to die for them?#and thats what he realizes in himself in that moment of the final song#he almost died for these people that he kept telling himself didnt matter#and he freaked the fuck out because for him that means losing control of himself and his emotions.#it means charlie’s hotel and his friends and the sunshines and rainbows are influencing him#and he got so scared that upholding his bad guy persona is almost too important for him than admitting that he cares about them#which is why i think we’ll see alastor being more mean and villainy in the next season just to balance out all his good deeds done forthem#not only to prove to them that they shouldnt trust him and that hes just using them but also to himself#silly dude#i love him#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel
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titanofblood · 2 months ago
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"The revived gods will just have cults surrounding them and make themselves mega powerful again!!"
So you agree, every mortal is capable of doing batshit crazy insane stuff if they try hard enough, which (had bells hells not intervened) wouldve eventually lead to another possible ludinus after the calamity that wouldve followed his defeat
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Like, the whole point is that the gods LEARN from being mortal, and grow out of their need for power and just get to live normal lives
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rivilu · 6 months ago
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Literally at the finale and still have not figured out an excuse for my hof not being here
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seventh-district · 6 months ago
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uh oh! it’s Seven’s Dean Winchester Kinnie Hours again!
#cw vent#vent post#you know what that means! time to be cringe and obnoxious on main like it’s 2020 again! 😃#i’ve had this entire video memorized for years atp and every rewatch is just as cathartic. it doesn’t get old to me.#No Sam I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay.#Look. I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you.#For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about—I DON’T NEED IT.#This weight on my shoulders man I’m tired of it.#ig my only complaint abt the video is how the gun in his hand is cropped out of that clip. it added a certain Vibe y’know#People—people /pray/ to you.#Bobby I’m not even supposed to BE here.#I couldn’t save mom. […] I can’t even save a scared little kid.#I’m okay. I’M OKAY. I swear the next person that asks me if I’m okay—I’m gonna start throwing punches.#This—Inside me… I wish I couldn’t feel anything Sammy.#The things that I saw? There aren’t words. There is no ‘forgetting’. There’s no making it better.#impressive that i can recall that many lines with the absolute trainwreck in my mind rn. the Power Of Blorbo Hyperfixation ig#anyways enough quoting a random spn amv or whatever they’re called. i have shit to do#vent blogging#Seven’s Public Diary#i guess#no other organization tags bc i don’t want this in the fandom tags. im just venting and being cringe bc it’s all i’ve got left lmao#well it’s not All i’ve got but it’s one of the least destructive options#unless were talking destruction of my public perception but y’all already know i’m cringe and insane#god my head is fucking killing me. ok im done. for now. gotta go clean dog piss out of the carpet#Youtube
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hauntingblue · 4 months ago
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Marineford part 3 - we should all kill ourselves
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What does that haki have to do with having people drawn to him???
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If sanji were here..... tell em girl
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Oh my gooooooood...........
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KILL YOURSELF NOW!!!!!!!
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GARP WHEN I GET YOU GARP!!!!!! Garp saying there will be many things in life that you won't want to do.... this man is ruined by the marines.... he locked himself in a cage.... stop protecting old man
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This fucking page jesus christ.... garp you are going to hell....
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HIM JUST ACCEPTING IT HE IS SO DONE!!!! GARP!!!
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Whitebeard getting shot again as luffy reaches ace I can't keep doing this....
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DON'T MAKE ME SEE THIS WHEN I KNOW WHAT'S COMING YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEE!!!! OH MY GOOOD I HATE THIS!!!!! What a good fucking Chapter (571) I'm killing myself tomorrow
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Everybody is so happy why am i tearing up 😭😭 ITS PAGE TWOOOOOOOO
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AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH I need to take a minute to recompose after every page someone please sedate me
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Alright. its fine really
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This is fine too. Nothing to see here of notice
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Oh my fucking god....................
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Can I be honest ace stopped to face akainu because he insulted his father (like he did when he was a child and people insulted roger which btw made him feel like he was insulted too) but then akainu starts talking about how they literally don't deserve a home bc they are pirates and that's insane. Ace was a pirate before he was born. The whole purpose of ace's journey (AND WHITEBEARD'S) has been finding a home and this man just called them both losers and scum for it. And this AFTER whitebeard sacrificed himself for ace which has been making him feel guilty ever since they all showed up. Imagine his state at the moment.
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I just will never forget his face here I think. Like after all of this he plays dirty and goes for luffy. Akainu kill yourself now.
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Like oh my god
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So the two guys with swords can kill ace but sakazuki can't.... alright man sure 👍🏻
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I'm sorry you didn't get to save me is insane. Is there anything as undoing as a little brother. Omg.
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Oh my fucking God.
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What can I even say. Fuck my life
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The faces on his hat read left to right make it looks like a happy face becomes sad but LIKE THIS ON THE PANELS IT IS THE OPPOSITE and idk if that's just like western view of it and means fuck all but it means something to me now.
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The flashback dialogue being "did you think I was dead" after he hits the ground is so insane like yes but no he isn't. He was right he is never going to die.
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In a way turning back to face akainu is ace fighting for his existence. Yes he was a pirate before he was born and he deserves a home and to be loved and happy and at the end of the day that is it and he got it and he died with a smile. He died being loved and loving luffy and that's how I cope. Goodnight forever
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The chapter is called voiceless rage.....
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OH MY GOD
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Approved comments by me
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TELL MEEEE!!!!! ODAAAAAAAAAA
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"YOU'RE NOT HIM" *BOOM SOUND EFFECT* DEAD!! DEMOLISHED!! EXECUTED!!! This is insane... also him saying "when it's [the treasure] found..." DOES THAT MEAN ROGER DIDNT FIND IT??? or am I reaching... like roger was waiting for a man to do that... that man is luffy and he will find the one piece bc roger couldn't for some reason (maybe bc he was sick???) And that's why he says the one piece is real
#whitebeard not being able to do his haki routine because of his illness so luffy does.... luffy getting energized as whitebeard gets hit...#daz bones protecting luffy bc crocodile said so... and fighting mihawk... that is so crazy why is he doing all this.... unless....#god fucking damnit luffy is so happy at ace being freed and the anime really adapted this part well i remember it so well.....#i think its very poignant that luffy never remembers buggy but when he protects him from mihawk he says thanks and i will never forget you.#ace is freed and this chapter everyone talks about marco's powers from the sbs on the comments 😭😭 YOU DONT KNOW!!!#ace's name is so cool like fire fist ace slaps but if luffy had the same he would be gum gum punch luffy#akainu is already on the chase there is no way its going to happen soon i can't believe it omg#why the fuck did i say anything what do you mean. oh my god. its been one chapter what do you mean. what the hell#ace fucking dies and we get interview with the chopper va right after 😭😭😭 i cant do this miss im sorry#and you know im not even crying i just cant believe my eyes right now. like i can but i don't you know. im just in shock#volume 59 cover having ace and luffy fighting like ace didn't just fucking die at the end of the previous volume. sick and twisted#luffy saying ace promised he wouldn't die im gonna end it all#christ whitebeard crying... garp.... and there are no batman pearls this time but the vivre card is stil insane. the flashback panels too..#and blackbeard appears i am going to go ballistic#i need whitebeard to finish blackbeard off so bad...... and i know he wont i am going up the walls#whitebeard being killed by one of his sons....... we should all kill our- BLACKBEARD#why does blackbeard kinda look like usopp whats the deal with that... even his eyelashes man....#talking tag#reading one piece#marineford
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ccccatttta · 2 months ago
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jegulus fic where james is a youtuber/streamer who does all sorts of pretty crazy pranks and people ADORE him because he's totally shameless.
one day he gets dared to crash a wedding and oppose it, pretending to be in love with either the groom or the bride.
and even though his editor (and bestest friend) remus told him that that's fucking insane, james still chose to do it bc he's a menace. but he does promise to cut it all off if things get messy.
james gets everything ready and, after stalking some of his old school classmates, he finds that one of them is attending a wedding (it's mulciber, who james remembers to despise back then, so it's a win-win situation), which means his plan is all set.
by fate, and fate only, this wedding is regulus' and some girl's his parents chose for him (and mulciber was invited bc his family is very close to the black's)
and obviously, this is a clear forced marriage, regulus would rather kill himself than marry a girl, he's as gay as they come.
[for sake of the plot, sirius and james don't know each other at all, didn't go to school together either, and sirius didn't run away and is also livid with his parents for marrying reg off, but there wasn't anything he could do]
so! prank day, james is live the moment he, very dramatically, stands up and proclaims his love for this.... regulus guy, and how he knows he promised to not come but he just couldn't handle the thought of the love of his life being married to someone else (his followers thought he was going to claim to love the bride, but james found the groom way too cute and he just couldn't hold himself back, he's just a guy)
the 30 seconds of pure silence and shock that follow are almost enough to make james break character and start laughing like crazy.
regulus, who's flabbergasted by the way, knows immediately that it's a prank. however, this might as well be a sign of the gods, because, what are the chances that this (very handsome) random man, chose HIS wedding out of all, and targeted HIM to be the one he "loves"? way to many coincidences.
also, did he mention the dude is unbelievably fit?
he makes a choice right there.
using all his acting abilities, he makes a whole scene tearing up and running to him. it's so well done, james for a second believes they are actual lovers.
hell breaks at that moment, walburga goes absolutely nuts along with orion and their side of the family. the bride's family start a fight, and between the commotion regulus sees his brother laughing maniacally after their mother yells at regulus to stop playing games or he will get disowned.
james, who thinks that this is now along the lines of things getting messy, is about to announce it's all a prank, when regulus sees right through him, panics, and just whispers "im going to kiss you now, sorry" before snogging the life out of him.
remus, who's the camera guy, cuts the live right there.
james, oh james, he doesn't quite hear the screech walburga lets out because this backfired so bad, but jesus chirst can this regulus kiss. this is love at first sight. love at first prank, if you may.
regulus knowing stuff is about to get bad, just grabs james' hand and runs for it. james just follows, he's dizzy. remus also follows because he's NOT getting involved in all that, he's actually quitting james.
sirius follows too, if his little brother is finally disowned, there's no reason to stay, thank you very much.
anyways, this whole idea was just because i want james followers to see his channel thumbnails going:
CRASHING A RANDOM WEDDING 💍 PRANK #56
to
how i met the love of my life ; Q&A
and
REG AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED (im sealing all entries so no-one can crash it) — VLOG
bye
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rosenclaws · 4 months ago
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Birds of a Feather || Old Man!Logan x Reader x Worst!Logan
summary: Logan loves you even if he can't say it but he knows that given his old age he's been lacking in the intimacy area. When a strange portal opens up and another Logan tumbles out of it, things get a little messy. (Or Worst Logan cucks Old Man Logan)
warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, fem!reader, cucking, fingering, rough sex, cum eating, masturbation, thigh riding, oral (female receiving), overstimulation, mating press, doggy style, dirty talk, kinda mean!worst logan (he taunts old man logan a lot), slight pain kink (Logan), ass play, nipple play, breast play. Also neither logan ever interact with each other beyond talking.
a/n: Soooo Merry Christmas!! Here is my gift to all of you lmao. So to set a few things up, At the start both men are called Logan but a couple paragraphs in is when I separate them into James and Logan. I really hope it doesn't get confusing but I did my best lol. I really hope this lives up to peoples expectations im kinda nervous lol. Anyways happy holidays and I hope u love it!!!
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Logan was an old man now. The adamantium was seeping itself into his blood. Killing him. It had been for years but with his healing factor starting to fail him the poisoning was truly taking its effect. He was weaker, tired. His heart was touched by a poison and it was turning him cold. There's only one good thing in his life now and it's you.
You're too kind. He tried to keep you away from his fucked up life but you were relentless. You were an experienced nurse who could take care of Charles. Free of charge. He fought you at every step of the way. Not wanting your pity. But he caved. 
Eventually you started taking care of him too. You were just too pretty, too charming. He couldn't stay away. This old man doesn't believe he gets to be happy and you try to change his mind every day. He did his best to take care of you too but the one area he knows he's lacking is the sex life. He tries, he really does. But he's old and while you're the sexiest thing on the planet, sometimes he just can't keep it up or he just can't finish.
It's embarrassing. Humiliating. You wave him off, telling him that it's not a big deal. That he still pleases you in a million other ways. Riding his face, his big fingers, you don't need his cock to know that he can take care of you. But it still bothers him. Still you lived your lives and things were fine. Until something weird happened. Really fucking weird. A large yellow portal opened up in your house. Logan bared his claws and pushed you behind him, ready to fight whatever the hell stepped out of it. 
To both of your shock another...him? 
Beaten up and bruised but its him. He looked younger but his hair was in these little tuffs and he was wearing a god awful yellow suit. He was kind of cute. Is this what your Logan would have looked like when he was younger? You snap out of your thinking, this is another man. It's Logan but not Logan. 
"Fucking shit!" The other Logan yells as the yellow door closes behind him. 
"Wade you dumb motherfucker I'm going to rip your head off!" He roars. He turns around, wiping the blood from his face. His eyes go wide when he sees you. He calls your name and steps towards you. Your Logan growls, putting up his claws. 
"Back the fuck up bub." The other Logan looks between the two of you and just narrows his eyes. Both their shiny claws come out to threaten the other. 
"Logan?" You call softly. Both of the men turn to you. 
"Can we just talk?" They look at each other and slowly retract their claws. 
After getting both of them to calm down the other guy explains exactly how he got there. He's from another universe, another time. He was pulled from his world into this one by an asshole with a stupid face and red suit. His stupid friend was messing with a little time machine thingy he stole and now he's here. That was his summary of things. You...tried to grasp it. You live in a world with mutants so time travel and universe hopping wasn't exactly strange. But to see another Logan. He also keeps glancing at you. 
Every time he does James, you've decided to start calling your Logan by his childhood name to make it easier, James tightens his grip on your hand. The way this other Logan looks at you, they're such sad eyes. He must have had a you in the other universe. 
"You can stay with us for a while, until you can get back to your time." You offer sweetly. 
"Thank you sweetheart." Logan's hands twitch, like he wants to reach out for you but he doesn't. James reluctantly gets up, pointing to the spare room and keeping his eyes on Logan's every move. 
"Don't drink my liquor." James mumbles as he heads to your bedroom. 
"He's the anchor being, really?" Logan whispers but you catch him. 
"What was that?" Logan freezes and turns to you.
"Nothing sweets," He flashes a smile you know he's lying. This Logan has the same tell as your own. 
"Who am I? In your world?" You ask curiously. Logan's face drops and he seems to close up. 
"No one, just a friend." He stalks to his room and closes the door behind you. Sighing you wonder what you've got yourself into now.
Living with two wolverines was not easy. Especially for you. They didn't get along and you had to play peacemaker. It was exhausting. Logan was nice enough to you but closed off and James was pissed off and protective. You were worried they'd slit each other's throats.
Plus...it was hard living with two Logan's when they were both ridiculously attractive. You never wanted anyone else but James. But this was just confusing. He was James but he wasn't but he looked like him and fuck he was ripped. James had a body to envy but so did Logan.
You were ashamed to admit you thought about Logan, just a little bit. You never let it go far but your dreams ran wild. They were hot and dirty and you woke up feeling soaked and guilty. You didn't say a word to James or Logan. What good could come of that? But they're perceptive men and you could feel Logan's eyes on you in the mornings. James' too. You couldn't escape them forever.
You should have known something was up the moment you walked through the front door and saw both boys sitting together in the living room. Normally they'd stay far away from each other.
"Hi..." You say suspiciously as you set down the grocery bags. 
"Come here." James pats his lap and you walk over. He pulls you down onto his knee and smashes his lips onto yours. You can't help but moan as his hand squeezes your ass. 
"James!" You moan as you try to push him away. You look over at Logan who was watching with hungry eyes. Licking his lips as his eyes trail up and down your body. 
"We had a talk sweetheart," Logan's voice is deep and primal as he stands up and grabs your chin.
"We both know what you want. The old man over here can't fuck you the way you want to be fucked." James tightens his grip on your waist as Logan flirts up a storm. 
"I...James I-" You look at James with a guilty look on your face. 
"It's okay honey, I want you to feel good." He says while glaring at Logan. He isn't going to just hand you over, but he knows you crave to be destroyed, ruined and he can't do that for you anymore. So reluctantly, he's going to let his other self fuck you. 
"Rule one. You don't get to come inside." James situates you on his thigh. Slowly rocking you on it until you're squirming. 
"Rule two. She says stop, you stop." Logan eyes your cleavage with a hungry look. 
"And rule three. You don't get to kiss her." He says possessively. 
Logan rolls his eyes but agrees to the terms. The three of you head to the bedroom. James sits on a chair facing the bed. He groans as his bones creak. You shoot him a worried look but he waves you off. Unbuttoning his pants and letting his cock free. Logan pulls your focus as he leaves hickeys up your shoulder, sucking on a particular spot on your neck. 
"Shit.." You groan. How did he know that was your sweet spot? You don't have much time to think as you hear a claw come out. Logan waits and you nod your head. He cuts through your clothes and they fall to the floor in shreds.
"Fuck." Logan groans as his hands trail up your body. Your bare skin drives him nuts. He closes his eyes as he takes his time exploring. Committing your body to memory, each curve and dip. 
"Missed this." He whispers softly for only him to hear. 
"Lay down sweetheart." Logan hums and you obey. Crawling onto the bed as Logan sheds his yellow suit. Your eyes trail down his built chest to his already hard cock. 
"Damn." 
"As big as your boyfriends over there?" Logan says with a smirk. 
He kneels onto the bed and grabs your legs, putting them around his waist as he bends down and goes back to biting your neck. Your nails dig into his biceps as you buck your hips. His cock presses against your thigh as he moves down your body. Stopping at your breasts, squeezing and teasing one of your nipples while sucking on the other. You whine when he bites down. Licking over the spot he bit. 
"Sorry, I couldn't help myself." He smiles through his apology. He moves down your stomach and rests himself in between your legs. 
"Let's see how sweet you taste." You gasp as he buries himself into your cunt. His hands locking you in place, not letting you move against his pleasurable assault. 
"Logan!" You moan as you claw at his hair. Raking your hands through it until you find a grip. Pulling on it only eggs him on. His tongue moves against your clit over and over again. He refuses to let up as your moans get louder. You try to move but Logan growls like an animal. 
"Don't fucking move." He licks his lips as he raises his head. He looks over to James and smirks. 
"I see why you're so protective, wouldn't want to share a girl as sweet as this either." You look over to James who was slowly stroking his cock. It was painful watching another man feast on his cunt but he can see how much you're loving it. 
"Play with your tits." James commands as Logan goes back down. 
You listen and slowly play with your nipples. Squeezing your breasts and arching your back when Logan sticks his tongue into your cunt. Fuck he knows what he's doing.
"I can't- fuck! I-" Your back arches high as Logan sucks on your clit. 
He doesn't let up. One of his hands lets go of your thigh and his thumb presses on your clit. His tongue is now moving to your cunt. You roll your hips as Logan fucks you with his tongue and rubs your clit with his thumb.
It's a deadly combination that leaves you helpless. You come around his tongue hard. He groans as you leak around him. Licking up the sweet taste until he's satisfied. As you start to relax you feel Logan's tongue back on your clit. 
"Fuck!" You gasp in surprise as he places himself back on your cunt. 
"Too much! Can't take it!" You claw at the sheets but Logan pays no mind. 
"You can take it, always have you crying on my face." James says huskily. 
He wants a taste, mouth watering at the sinful sounds of your went pussy. Tears threaten to fall as Logan shoves two fingers into your cunt. He fucks you like he knows you, curling his fingers just how you like it. The sounds of your cunt get louder as he roughly fingers you. 
"One more come on, fuck give me one more." Logan props himself on his elbow as he pistons his fingers into you. 
"No No I can't." You cry. You don't want him to stop but it's so overwhelming. It's too much pleasure. 
"Yes you can." Logan cups your cheek and wipes away a stray tear. 
"I got you," Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you come again. Your cunt clenching around his fingers as soak his hand. Both of them watch in awe as you make a mess. 
"Knew you could take it." Logan takes his fingers out and sucks them clean. He eyes James who hasn't taken his eyes off your cunt. 
"Want a taste old man?" You look over with pleading eyes at your boyfriend. You need him too. He winces as he stands up but leans down and gets between your legs. 
"Shh baby, just want a taste." James squeezes your thighs softly.
Your cunt twitches as he leans down and takes a fat lick up. You're on edge from your previous orgasms and it's borderline painful. Both men look up at you when you gasp. 
"I'm okay, just please be gentle." Your lips form into a small pout and James melts. 
"Course baby," He takes a few soft licks and you sigh as Logan strokes his cock. 
He takes your hand and wraps it around his cock. Fuck he's big and hard and leaking over your hand. You can't help but notice it's different from your Logan too. But you keep that thought to yourself. James grunts as he gets back to his feet. His beard slick with your juices. He slips two fingers into your cunt and pumps them slowly. 
"Did so good, baby." He praises and you smile. You bite your lip and close your eyes as you take in James' thick fingers. They work you like magic, he knows you inside and out. 
"Are you gonna take my cock now sweetheart?" Logan purrs in your ear. 
"Tell me, what dirty fantasies do you have up there." Your breath catches in your throat as he cups your breasts in his hands. 
"Any positions you want to try? Face down ass up is always a favorite of mine, or I can put your legs on my shoulders and press you into the mattress." You moan just picturing each scenario in your head. 
"I can hold you against the wall. Bounce you on my cock so you're forced to take every inch of me.
"Even better, we can do all three." Logan lets go of you and nods his head, telling James to go sit down. James takes his fingers out and brings them to your lips, pushing them into your mouth as you suck on them like he trained you to do. 
"You okay?" James asks and you nod. 
"M'alright baby, are you okay?" You reach up and grab his hand, squeezing it gently. Is he still okay with this? If he's too uncomfortable you'd stop but he just smiles. He leans down and kisses your head, then moves to sit back down. 
"You've been talking a lot of shit bub." James says gruffly as Logan nudges his cock at your cunt. You're on your back with Logan pressing your hands into the mattress. 
"Don't worry old man, I'll take care of her." He slides in and you moan. He's going too slow, relishing with every inch.
"Faster!" You beg but Logan doesn't listen. Instead he pushes all the way in, balls deep and throbbing just being in your sweet cunt. 
"Oh fuck yeah." Logan purrs as he draws his hips back, slamming them back into you.
His pace is slow and hard. He watches your breasts bounce with each thrust, enjoying the way they move because of him. He's still got you pinned down and you want to move, you want to hold onto him as he fucks you but he won't let you. Logan's got stamina and it's clear as he doesn't let up. 
"Logan I-" He growls and pulls out much to your dismay. Manhandling you to your knees, grabbing your neck and forcing you to look right at James. You couldn't meet his eyes as Logan sinks back into you. 
"Ah ah, don't you want him to see how good you feel?" Logan says in a mocking tone. Smirking as he sees the fire lit in James' eyes.
"It's okay baby." James says as your head falls down to the comforter. Logan's just so big. He's overpowering all of your senses. He just keeps going and going. Logan tilts his head back as he digs his fingers into your hips. 
"Such a tight fucking cunt." He presses your face into the bed and grabs a handful of your ass. Pounding his hips into your pussy and loving every little noise he's fucking out of you. 
"She likes it when you choke her." James says, his breath ragged as he watches you get fucked. Logan chuckles and puts his hand around your neck.
"Of course she does, such a dirty little whore you got on your hands." His mouth is filthy, the degradation pouring from his mouth with ease.
James mixes his praise with his meanness but Logan is pure filth. The pressure on your throat sends you into fucking orbit. A fat cock pounding your sweet spot and rough hand on your throat is lethally delicious. You could die happy. 
"That's it, just let me use you sweetheart. Doesn't that sound fun? Being my little toy? Our little toy?" You look at James who's perked up at the mention of him, your cunt clenching around Logan's cock. 
"Oh that got you interested huh?" Logan teases. 
"You can be our plaything sweetheart, just nothing but a couple holes for us to use. Big man over here can stick his cock down your throat while I get the back." Logan rubs his hand along your ass, his thumb trailing down until its teasing your asshole. 
"He ever been in here before?" 
"O-Once." You mewl as he presses his thumb, not breeching you yet but knowing he could if he wanted to. 
"Is it as tight as her cunt?" He asks James. 
"Even tighter." James spreads his legs, he was getting hot. He sheds his jacket and unbuttons his white button up. Being this old and still ripped was so fucking unfair. His pants were already at his ankles and his cock was stirring just remembering that day.
How you cried and whined as he prepped you with his fingers. How fucking tight you felt when he slid his cock in. You were a mess, babbling and whining and begging to be ruined. James opens his eyes and sees you staring at him. Hunger in your eyes as you take in your handsome boyfriend. You may be getting fucked by another man but you only ever want James. 
“Maybe next time." Logan moves his hands back up your body.
He sits back on his knees. His hands come to your breasts and pull you up so your back is against his chest. His cock somehow sits deeper as he bounces his hips up and down, spearing his cock deeper and deeper. One of his arms wraps around your waist while the other plays with your breasts. 
"Logan!" You chant over and over. He's grunting in your ear whispering dirty things that only you can hear. 
"I know you're loving this sweetheart, you may love the old man but you love my cock more." You whine, words failing you as you try and talk. You start to go limp in Logan's grasp so he tightens his hold. 
"Come for me sweetheart, go on." He purrs as he lets go of your breasts to pleasure your clit. Rubbing small circles until you're squirming out of his grip, or trying to.
"It's okay, I got you." Logan whispers as you tilt your head back into his shoulder. 
Eyes rolling back as you fully submit to the man. Your legs shake uncontrollably as you come harder than you have in a while. He holds you up as you melt, your vision blurring as you're sent to cloud nine. You were clawing at his arms, digging your nails into him until he bleed which only made things better for Logan as he humps you like a crazed animal. Grunting and groaning. 
"Fuck!" He lets go of you to pull out, whimpering at the loss of your wet cunt.
He's rough with his hand as he jerks himself until he comes all over your back. Hot cum spurting from his cock and drenching itself on your skin. Your eyelids are heavy as you collapse into the bed, your body aches with a delicious sort of pain. With all the energy you could muster you glance over at James. He had cum staining his chest, breath ragged. He was worn out just from watching. 
"I love you." You say softly, reaching out for him. Your hand doesn't make it very far so he meets you halfway. His pants pulled up and cum still on his stomach. 
"Feel good baby?" He pets your head and you nod sleepily. Logan has gone off to take care of himself. Redressing into that god awful suit and coming back with a towel. 
"Can I?" He looks over at James who nods. Gently he wipes his cum off your back, cooing when he accidently stimulates your clit again. 
"Sorry sweetheart, just gotta get you nice and clean." Logan looks at James before leaning down and kissing your forehead.
James doesn't argue. Once you're cleaned up James tucks you into bed. He sits on the edge as you curl into his lap. Logan comes back with water and a towel for James. You're sound asleep by the time he's back. Logan smiles at you with a fondness that James can only recognize as love. 
"You know her." Logan looks up and shrugs. "Heard her say she was just a friend. You were lying." James continues. He knows Logan was lying because they're one in the same. They may not like each other but they knew each other better than anyone ever could, even you. 
"Look. You may think your life is fucking miserable but you had your family, you have her. You don't know how lucky you have it." Logan growls. 
"Lucky? You think becoming a shell of who we were is lucky?" James feels the anger surging inside of him. 
"At least she's alive in your world." Logan hisses. The truth comes out. Why Logan worked you like he already knew you, why he looked at you with such sad eyes. Why he listened to you. James caught all of it from the start but you never did. He looks down at you and you barely stir. 
"What happens to us, in the future?" James asks while staring at you. Timelines don't need two of the same man and he knows that. He just needs to hear it. "I don't think I'm supposed to say." Logan mumbles. 
"Who fucking cares?" Sighing Logan looks over at you before revealing the truth. 
"You die and your world starts to fall apart, that's why I got pulled into it."
James knew that death was coming. He could feel it. He had been slowly dying his whole life. That's not what bothers him. There's only one thing holding him back in being ready for the end. You. He can't leave you alone but it sounds like he does anyway. Failing you once again. 
"What about her? Is she okay?" 
"Yes.” James nods, he doesn’t ask what happens. He doesn’t want to know. As long as you’re okay then that’s all that matters. 
“Take care of her. Please.” James asks, for once letting Logan see his gruff façade break. 
It feels like an odd request. Both of them know it, but he wants you to be safe and protected and no one will love you more than him. In any timeline, any universe, he loves you. 
“I will.” Logan promises.
The two of them don’t share many words after that. It’s not like they’re suddenly friends now but they’re less hostile towards each other.
Eventually the strange yellow portal appears once again and Logan leaves. The time he spent here feels like a fever dream. Maybe it was? But you notice that James holds you a little tighter for a little longer now. He also rests a little easier. He knows where he’s headed, what’s to come.
But its a little easier knowing that no matter what, you’ll always have him. 
1K notes · View notes
themyscirah · 2 years ago
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I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU FUCK YOU RON MARZ I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL THIS MAN
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pomegranatesarchive · 6 months ago
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Could you do a part 2 to please date my sister in law with max and r getting married?
wedding of the century | max verstappen
part 2 of ‘please date my sister in law’
pairing: max verstappen x reader
summary: one year after charles sets up his sister in law with max, the world is preparing for the wedding of the century.
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, landonorris, and 819,717 others!
maxverstappen1: to be wed 💙
view comments below!
user1: OH SHIT ITS HAPPENING
user2: STAY CALM EVERYONE!! STAY CALM!! STAY FUCKING CALM
user3: charles leclerc found yelling out in happiness, 3:21 AM, monaco.
user4: oh my god
user5: omg
user6: the pictures are so cute 🥹
user7: THAT SHOUDLVE BEEN ME
user8: marrying max? or marrying yn?
user7: BOTH
user9: max waited no time to put a ring on that
user10: AHH IM SO EXCITED
user11: i can live out my wedding fantasies through you guys 🥹
user12: i know charles is freaking out rn
charles_leclerc: oh yes. i’ll be over with the binder in five minutes.
user13: he’s actually at lot more calmer then i expected
yoursistersuser: nope! he yelled for a straight ten minutes after this was posted
user14: yeah that sound more like him…
user15: so happy for you two 🤞
landonorris: so when can i pick up my bridesmaid dress?
maxverstappen1: you mean your groomsmen suit?….
landonorris: i know what i meant
user16: i hope max takes her last name
danielricciardo: how funny would it have been if she said no
maxverstappen1: not funny at all
danielricciardo: tough crowd
user17: ahhhh congratulations!!
user18: NO PLS NO
user19; you have shattered my heart
yourusername: FUCK YOU BEAT ME TO IT
maxverstappen1: YOU TOLD ME I COULD MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMENT FIRST??
yourusername: I LIED I WAS GOING TO BEAT YOU TO IT
maxverstappen1: HAHAH SLOW POKE
user20: these are the two getting married btw
user21: i didn’t want you anyways 😒
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liked by, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 916,016 others!
yourusername: officially a #fiancé! 😾
view comments below!
user22: so it’s real….
user23: why wouldn’t it be real?
user22: idk i was hoping max went crazy and just started making shit up
user24: you know what. hell yeah.
user25: mama a happy future ahead of YOU 💜
user26: CONGRATULATIONS!!
user27: no….
user28: this just broke my heart
user29: so happy for you two 🥹
user30: if anyone deserves this happiness, it’s you!! congratulations 🎊
oscarpiastri: oh he wasn’t kidding
oscarpiastri: you said yes?…
yourusername: i cannot deal with your negativity today oscar
oscarpiastri: IM JUST SAYING
oscarpiastri: you said yes?…
user31: let’s all say thank you charles!!
charles_leclerc: YES THANK YOU CHARLES! WE ALL THANK CHARLES!!
charles_leclerc: and too think they all called me crazy for setting them up!
charles_leclerc: HA
charles_leclerc: and to think…
user32: you’re talking to yourself babe
landonorris: i can’t wait to pick up my bridesmaid dress
yourusername; we talked about this lando
landonorris: i know 😔
user33: does this mean lando isn’t a bridesmaid? because i would KILL to see that man in a dress
user34: HELL YEAH!!
user35: true love, rock on 🤘
user36: 50 percent of marriages end in divorce
user37: genuinely, why would you say this
user36: i’m a hater to my core
user38: no you’re a bitch to your core
user39; oh damn
yoursistersuser: love you babe 💜 but pls tell charles he can calm it with the wedding planning
yourusername: and you think he’ll listen to me?
yoursistersuser: no, but it was worth it a try 💔
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liked by, yourusername, maxverstappen1, and 720,015 others!
charles_leclerc: it’s always hows the wedding plannING? and never hows the wedding plannER? 😕
view comments below!
user40: nobody gaf how you are, WHENS THE WEDDING?????
carlossainz: when’s the wedding?
user41: you signed up for this buddy, when’s the fricking wedding???
oscarpiastri: when’s the wedding?
user44: uh huh, uh huh, yep totally agree! when’s the wedding?
user45: who cares, when’s the wedding?
user46: i don’t care, when’s the wedding??
landonorris: when’s the wedding?
user47: don’t give a shit, when’s the wedding?
user48: chop chop wedding planner, when’s the wedding????
danielricciardo: when’s the wedding?
user49: OMG CHARLES NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, WHENS THE WEDDING????
user50: shut up when nobody asks, when’s the wedding????
maxverstappen1: when’s the wedding?
user51: boy who asked? when’s the wedding?????
charles_leclerc: I WAS GOING TO ANNOUNCE THE WEDDING DATE. BUT YOU SICK FUCKS DONT DESERVE IT! SO FUCK YOU ALL!!! YOU WONT KNOW WHEN THE WEDDING IS!! HA HA HA. LOSERS.
user51: charles wait we were joking
user52: don’t pmo
user53: DONT BE SUCH A BABY!!! WHENS THE FUCKING WEDDING?
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liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz, and 1,027,017 others!
maxverstappen1: i’ve reached peak happiness
view comments below!
user53: you are fucking kidding me
user54: CHARLES I WILL KILL YOU
user55: WHAT
user56: WHEN
user57: HOW
user58: WHERE
yourusername; 💙💙
user59: BUT YOU JUST PROPOSED??? LIKE THREE MONTHS AGO
user60: no, you guys are actually so fake for this
user61: wow, i can’t believe this
landonorris: congratulations!! i still think me as a bridesmaid would’ve been amazing but….
maxverstappen1: let it go lando
landonorris; FINE
user62: charles when i find you
user63: i say we all kill charles on his birthday
user64: how could you guys do this to me??
oscarpiastri: loved the shrimp! 🦐
user65: THEY HAD SHRIMP
user66: charles planned a whole wedding in 3 months???
use67: that’s actually so impressive
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liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, user68, and 927,518 others!
yourusername: i win! 👰‍♀️
view comments below!
user68: you’re actually fucking kidding me. charles leclerc when i find you
user69: not to much now, he did plan this in 3 only months
charles_leclerc: THANK YOU!! HOW ABOUT SOME APPRECIATION FOR MY PLANNING
user70: stfu. it’s your fault non of us knew when the wedding was going to be
user71: these pictures are so cute 🥰
user78: living through you guys rn
user79: someday i hope to be married to someone who loves me as much as max loves yn
user80: con😭gra😭tula😭tions😭
user81: so happy for you guys!!! i will go kill myself now!!!
user82: THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME
user83: that man did NOT wait to put a ring on it
user84: if he wanted to, he would
user85: let this be a reminder to women that if someone wanted to marry you, they would!! congratulations 💙
oscarpiastri: loved the shrimps 🍤
user86: we get it oscar
oscarpiastri; no. you don’t. the shrimp were delicious.
user87: don’t brag
oscarpiastri: i’ll brag all i want. you can’t do anything about it because i had the shrimp and you didn’t 😹
user88: oh damn
user89: someone’s passionate about the shrimp…
yoursistersuser: love you to the moon and back 🌙
yourusername:💛💛💛
charles_leclerc: i’m hearing a lot of ‘love you’ and ‘shrimps’ but i’m not hearing enough ‘thank you charles for planning a beautiful wedding in 3 months and taking time out of your very BUSY racing career to make sure my wedding was amazing’
yourusername: don’t act like you didn’t beg me to let you plan the wedding
maxverstappen1: yeah, me and yn were fine with eloping
charles_leclerc: please guys, no need to thank me! it was my pleasure ❤️
oscarpiastri: the shrimp were great man
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liked by carlossainz, maxverstappen1, user90, and 710,761 others!
charles_leclerc: since no one else will say it 😒 thank you charles for planning a beautiful wedding in 3 months and taking time out of your very BUSY racing career to make sure my wedding was amazing
view comments below!
user91: i’m still pissed at you for not telling us when the wedding is
user91: it was a beautiful wedding tho
charles_leclerc: thank you charles!!
charles_leclerc: of course charles!!!
charles_leclerc: beautiful work!! especially with the very short time you were given
user92: maybe we shouldn’t let charles plan anymore weddings, it looks like they’ve drove him insane
carlossainz: i look gorgeous
oscarpiastri: the shrimps were chef kiss 🤌
landonorris: what is with you man?
georgerussell63: are you still drunk?
user93: charles posting more photos then the actual people who got married is so funny 😭
user93: it really sums up their relationship
user94: beautiful wedding planning charles!! 👏
user95: how much do you charge??
user96: i still can’t believe yn and max got together, engaged, and married in less then 2 years
user97: i bet she’s pregnant
user98: WOAH
user99: where tf did that come from
user100: or maybe they just love each other??? not everyone waits years and years hoping that their shitty bf will propose to them
user101: oh! okay!
user102: you ate those decorations up charles
user103: the flowers??? gorgeous
user103: if yn and max ever divorce, i will kill myself
oscarpiastri: great shrimp 🥰
user14: what tf is wrong with you
. . .
thank you fo rrequesting!!! life’s been busy but i hope you guys didn’t forget me 🩶
3K notes · View notes
neontaxidermy · 2 years ago
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I love when old, bad, F&R choices can be made into old, GOOD, F&R choices with a small helping of making Jess a worse* person again
0 notes
valentinaagarcia · 8 months ago
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twisted wonderland characters as things i've heard in the locker room.. pt.2
(bet yall werent expecting this😈 anyways yes i am on the boys team because there was no girls team and it is NOT like k drama)
("yuu" is what i responded to what i heard)
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floyd: back up against the wall and bend over
jamil: WHAT
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(for context they were doing tigress poses from kung fu panda🔥)
kalim: ching li chong lang
riddle: okay that's just racist, you can't say that when there are people of color in the room man
yuu: why are you all looking at me im not chinese???
ace: why are you assuming it's chinese? racist.
yuu: oh so that's how it's gonna be? kill yourself.
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jack: okay guys we actually need a strategy to win this match
floyd: coach send me a dick pic
everyone: HE WHAT?!?
(coach meant to send that to his wife and we had an assistant coach for the entire week because he couldn't face any of us😭)
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jamil: you all go assault eachother with balls, i'm out.
ace: lowkey bet, deuce come over here buddy
deuce: in public??
epel: for free??
jack: why is nobody questioning that they've done this before?
leona: how do you know they've done this before huh?
jack: hm.
ruggie: .... HOW DO YOU KNOW???
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kalim: yuu..so you know that girl that i was talking about?
yuu: yeah whats up?
kalim: so last weekend i saw her at a gathering...
yuu: ohhkaayy.??? so did you talk to her
kalim: ask me what type of gathering it was.
yuu: ...????what type of gathering was it?
kalim: a family gathering.
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yuu: yo whats going on i really gotta piss why are you all hogging the toilet?
lilia: they all shared ace's pocket pussy but noone cleaned it
yuu: okay what the fuck.
lilia: yeah, they used eachothers semen as natural lube
yuu: i didnt ask you to continue.
lilia: they might have some sort of penis disease
yuu: why didn't i become a cheerleader.
-----
jack: okay guys cant we just be a normal football team PLEASE
jamil: i am tired of trying to play footbal only to get fingers shoved up my ass.
vil: you've gotten fingers shoved up your ass?
jamil: look i know your new to the team but.. you haven't? ace, floyd.. are you going easy on the rookies
floyd: nah i broke into his house yesterday
ace: yeah and i hit up his girlfriend
-----
cater: yo i heard rumors that yuu used to be a man
trey: no way? YUU
yuu: what?
trey: did you have a penis before?
yuu: no but if i did it would for sure be bigger than yours
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ace: bruh sometimes i forget that yuu has a coinslot
jack: ace shut up.
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yuu: bruh sometimes i forget that ace has a penis
ace: i said i'm sorry, your just so masc..
yuu: i will hit you.
jack: yeah its not her fault that she's buff! its okay to have insecurities yuu-
yuu: die
-----
floyd: i mightve just snorted fiberglass guys
jade: oh
-----
rook: people with homophobia are so pretty
epel: isn't it heterophobia?
vil: its fucking heterochromia
-----
deuce: yuu.. this might be shocking but your the only girl that i can talk to without stuttering with
yuu: not shocking at all.
-----
jamil: what the? WHY THE HELL IS THE WATER FROZEN?! FLOYD
floyd: wasnt me!
jamil: ACE??
ace: dont look at me
jack: jamil calm down i froze them so the water after training could be colder but it didnt melt fast, sorry
jamil: oh no worries man
floyd & ace: THE FAVORITISM???
-----
lilia: look at malleus.. poor guy, cant believe hes goalie
leona: YO malleus!
malleus: hm? *gets fucking knocked out by the ball*
sebek: OH MY GOD.
lilia: goodnight malleus
1K notes · View notes
changeling-droneco · 9 months ago
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Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled
First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but
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This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.
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Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.
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YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD
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I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)
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First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?
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This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???
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Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.
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The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR
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This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management
A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though
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Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.
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I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.
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Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative
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Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!
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Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!
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In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL
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Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!
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My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"
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I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders
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Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.
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I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY
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Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful
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Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company
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Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK
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We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.
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I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.
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Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN
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First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"
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Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?
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If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE
Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes
"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."
First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.
"What is the goal of our content?
To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."
That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign
"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"
Gross
"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."
Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors
"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."
It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.
"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.
How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."
If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd
"It’s okay for the boys to be childish
If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"
More favoritism
"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"
Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.
"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."
I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man
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