#god’s favorite cat lady

[vanhelsingapologist]

You could be something great, but something great is nothing new.

—

I had to redraw Vallaki’s angriest boy again! His hair is longer and he still uses mage hand for everything to prove that he can do magic.

[madeofitzits]

Imagine being a whole-ass professional comedian and knowing that you're not even the funniest person in your own home! Poor Andy... he's a comedy genius but his 20 year career has been blown clean out of the water by his wife's peacock impersonation 😂

[saph-yells-into-the-void]

update: I have 107 volumes now. i had to do a lot of reorganizing to fit them all in here and even now they're a tight fit 😭

but i think it turned out alright :3

[nezuscribe]

life as a hit man was dirty but simple, and gojo preferred keeping it that way. he didn’t know his clients names, they didn’t know his. he���d send over proof of his work, they’d wire in the money. dirty, yet simple.

so when he gets a message to kill the daughter of some oil tycoon, he doesn’t think much about it. sure he thinks it’s cheap to go for the kid, but what does he know. this is the most he’s ever been offered for a one shot job, so he’s not an idiot to turn this offer down.

and unfortunately, that meant his next confirmed target was you.

he gets your information, where you go to school, what apartment building you live in, where you like to eat. usually he prefers a straight shot to the head, but sometimes sneaking in something to your food lets him off easier.

gojo gets to know your routine. what you do at what time. what shows you watch, what your favorite sweater is. he watches from the high rises that faces yours, crouching down so none of your bodyguards could see the reflection of the magnifier of his rifle.

and gojo is used to taking out a wide range of people. men, women, grandpas, aunts. it’s just business to him. but there’s something about you that makes him hesitate to pull the trigger.

maybe it’s the fact that the weeks he’s spent trailing after you he’s noticed you’re pretty much a loner. you keep to yourself, never bothering anyone. you don’t seem to have my friends in your classes, or even out of them. gojo never questions to morals of his clients or who they ask him to kill, but judging you so far you seem to have done…nothing wrong.

you treat the old lady who works in the convenience story with such kindness that gojo wonders if you were born into this level of wealth, because most people of your status treat those beneath them like ants. you always hold the door open for your body guards despite them insisting they do it for you. you always buy some food for the stray cats in the alley you pass, and you never yell when you’re on the phone with your dad, even though gojo tracks those calls and feels the need to yell for you.

it all comes to a moment when you’re at your favorite coffee shop (he knows this because you come here so often), and you’ve managed to weasel away from your bodyguards. he knows they must be freaking out by now, but you just want some alone time.

he’s right there, right behind you, the little pouch of his condition of drugs that instantly kill in his pocket ready, and you turn around with your coffee cup and bump into him.

your eyes seen, letting out a shocked gasp as the iced drink stains his shirt and pants, the cup not empty on the floor.

“oh my god, oh my god,” you stutter out, scrambling to find some napkins, “i’m so so sorry! i didn’t even see you there - gosh,” you shove some napkins into his hands, trying to dapple the coffee away but it does nothing to help, “i can’t believe…!” you trail off, the two of you moving out of line so you don’t hold the others up and your shaking your head in dismay, mad at your clumsiness.

“it’s alright,” he assures you, waving it off as his eyes take in your appearance. “don’t even worry about it, accidents happen.” it’s the first time he’s seen you this close, and he feels that pouch growing heavier in his pocket.

because you’re pretty. really pretty. and he likes the plush of your cheeks, the scrunch of your brows, the way you’re nearly gnawing your lip raw. you seem even prettier in person, and there’s a lump forming in his chest, something he’s never felt before.

“no, no,” you murmur, trying to find the tide pen in your bag, only to realize you left it at home, “and it’s stained too, fuck. i am so sorry about this, you probably have somewhere to be and…” your words trail off as you scramble for your wallet, pulling out some cash as you push it into his hands.

it’s more than he needs to replace the shirt and pants, probably enough to buy him a couple pairs from ralph lauren, but you still seem to think it’s not enough as you look for more.

“it’s no worries at all, i keep an extra of shirts in my car for emergencies like this,” gojo lies smoothly and you look up from your purse, eyes wide in shame. fuck he really likes your eyes too.

“no, please take it, it’ll be on my mind all day if you don’t,” you insist, but he’s shaking his head defiantly, a reassuring smile on his face as he hands the money back to you.

“and it’ll be on my conscience all day if i take it,” he promises you, and after you realize he’s not going to retract his hands you take the cash, shoving it back into your wallet as heat settles all over your body.

of course with your luck you spill coffee all over the most attractive man you’ve ever met.

you still look worried, finding another napkin as you take out a pen from your purse, messily writing something down.

“this is my contact information if you ever need me to replace your clothes,” you hand it over to the man with an apologetic smile, “please don’t hesitate to call me, i know stains and that’s gonna be really hard to get out,” you go to say something else but your eyes dart to the large windows behaubd him, catching sight of your body guards who seem to have seen you, and your face falls.

“i’m really sorry, again, but i have to go,” you mutter as you speed off, waving goodbyes to the stranger as you duck your head down and leave the coffee shop, not wanting to cause another scene as three buff men race in to find you.

gojo stands there almost in a haze, looking at his stained white shirt to the napkin with your number and name on it.

almost as if he didn’t already know it, almost as if you weren’t the girl he’s supposed to kill.

and in that moment he realizes how screwed he is, because he’d rather down that packet right there than shoot you down, and he’s never felt this dread before.

[i-eat-mold]

just here to say that gertrude robinson is the single funniest character. she is THE character. she dies before the show even starts. shes an old lady that adopted an edgy teen and traveled the world. She is the avatar of one of the fourteen elditch horrors that feed on primordial fears, she had basically infite knowledge of everything and her plan to stop one of the rituals of a cult of another one of said list of eldrich horrors was to blow it up with a bunch of c4. we only find out about this because she stored all of the explosives in a random storage unit and the aforementioned edgy teen with mommy issues (who by the way, is dead, but when he died she sneaked into the morgue to put him inside a book) speaks through the book to the woman's succesor who, by the way, has no idea what the fuck is going on because neither she nor anyone else has bothered to explain shit to him, and tells him that she kept something important in the unit. we only find out about this after 100 episodes of the show. She feeds her subordinates to an all consuming monster/god, but its ok i guess. Later on (earlier on? at the same time? in a different timeline? after?) the literal end of the world and the end of the end of the world shes back and still has to deal with this stupid teenager who at least doesnt spend half his life focused on dyeing his hair and the other half about finding murder books (not as books about murder but as in, books who actively murder). She is a well experienced arsonist despite having no affiliation with the actual official arsonists club that is yet another cult to yet another one of the previously mentioned eldritch horrors. She is, however, metaphysically tied to the Chosen One, the Messiah of said cult, or some shit. She is absolutely terrible at her actual office job (on purpose). She dismembered a guy (who was her assistant) and probably commited several undocumented crimes against humanity. Once again, she has all seeing abilities and barely noticed her favorite assistant was torturing a coworker. She dares her murderous boss to kill her and gets surprised when he does so. When asked what to do about a literal Monster Pig, her advice is to encase it in cement. She was such a bitch. Her plan B was always to set things on fire. Her plan A was often to set things on fire. One of these instances was approved by her boss (the one who killed her). It is canon that the reason she started all this shit in her life was because the fire cult killer her cat. She sacrified another one of her assistants who became an avatar of the literal concept of Insanity but it was just a other thursday for her. She knows on a first name basis pretty much every person and monster affiliated with the eldritch horrors that she tries to keep at bay on the daily. She stopped a ritual for The Lonely by making the place a tourist destination. She has an ebay account. Instead of performing a ritual for the God that she was affiliated with, she wanted to destroy it and planned to 1. blind herself, and 2. set fire (yet again) to her workplace. It didnt work, because and her boss, who was also the one who was going to perform the ritual, finds her right before and kills her after she says he has no balls to do so. Also she is voiced by the mother of the main character's voice actor (who he named with his own, full, legal name) and the series' writer, which are the same person. Shes the worst, shes the best, i love her, we will never get anyone like her again, we need more characters like her.

[forsworned]

˗ˏˋFORSWORNED'S CALL OF DUTY MASTERLISTˎˊ˗

SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY

Simon has an onlyfans pt.1 (nsfw)

Simon has an onlyfans pt. 2 (nsfw)

Admiration

It's (not) just sex (nsfw)

Romantic

Baby makin' (nsfw)

Use your heart (nsfw)

Let me hear you (nsfw)

Blow out all the candles (nsfw)

Hush, don't think you've made it under my skin (nsfw)

drabbles:

Four-leafed clover (nsfw themes)

Family affair

Hot and bothered (nsfw)

Predator and prey (nsfw)

Soft (nsfw)

Like a tattoo

JOHNNY 'SOAP' MACTAVISH

Sexy stretching (nsfw)

Casual (nsfw)

drabbles:

So wrong (nsfw)

Johnny can't help but overhear the conversation you're having with Kyle about your hook-up gone wrong...

✯ SAVING SERGEANT MACTAVISH

𝗌𝗒𝗉𝗇𝗈𝗌𝗂𝗌: 𝗂𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝖺 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗅 𝗎𝗇𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗑𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗁𝖾𝗇𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗇𝖺 𝗈𝖿 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇𝗇𝗒'𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁 𝗈𝗏����𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗇𝖾𝗏𝗂𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁. 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝖼𝖾𝖾𝖽?

⤷ KNOCKING AT DEATH'S DOOR

KYLE 'GAZ' GARRICK

Jinx! you owe me a soda (nsfw)

Breach of privacy (slight nsfw)

The Penitent (nsfw)

CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE

Sweet nectar (nsfw)

EPISODIC POLY!TF141 SERIES

Failed mission blues

Bumblin' fool

Crazy cat lady

Coddling

Favorite

Tears and taunting

Espresso many feelings

Y/n loses a bet

Dream blunt rotation

Androgynous y/n

KEEGAN RUSS

I wanna take a read on your disco stick (nsfw)

Something good can work (nsfw)

DAVID 'HESH' WALKER

Dirty little daydreams (nsfw)

Passenger seat lovers (nsfw)

Munch (nsfw)

No pictures, please!

No one noticed (nsfw)

LOGAN WALKER

Crush (ft. bluecollarworker!logan) (nsfw)

I always feel like somebody's watching me (nsfw)

Like father like daughter

Like father like daughter pt.2

ELIAS WALKER

God knows I tried (nsfw)

HEADCANONS

HOW THEY WOULD REACT TO...

⤷ "Hey guys, I'm with my boyfriend, ____" trend. ft. TF141

Keegan despises new age slang ft. Kick and Merrick

Divorcee Hesh

What if you and Johnny were so close... (nsfw??)

I feel like if the boys didn't join the army they'd all be blue-collar workers...

Johnny definitely gets turned on when you grab his ass...

INCORRECT COD QUOTES

one

two

three

four

five

[amywritesthings]

press four for more options. | part three.

( Read on AO3 )

Pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) Word Count: 4k Summary: After seeing your ex with his new girl at a work party, you take the not-so-smart advice from a friend to call a sex hotline to get over him. Your match? A baritone bossy dom named Levi.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI - smut, alternate universe (modern), sex work, phone sex, dirty talk, dom!levi, light dom/sub, guided masturbation, edging, pet names, sex toys, multiple orgasms, mentions of body image Credits: dividers by @saradika-graphics

part two. / part four. | masterlist

“Hel-lo, is the idiot in the room still with us?”

A slender hand waves back and forth, back and forth, until you awake from your everlasting daydream.

Annie Leonhart sits across from you at your favorite coffee shop looking like the cat that caught the canary.

That knowing smirk hasn’t left her face since she sat down.

Curling her fingers, she pulls her arm and returns her hand to join the other under her chin once she’s finally caught your attention.

The small blonde squints her icy blue eyes, observing, deciding on what you’ll say before you launch your defense.

“That good, huh?”

Embarrassment is your first folly.

"I— What?!”

“I know a blissful climax cloud when I see one.”

“Annie.”

Sometimes Annie could be an ass, too smug for her own good, but she was a fiercely loyal friend and colleague.

Everything is meant in jest — at least, to you. Not many others got to avoid her wrath.

You lean over the table, reaching your hand out to cover her mouth.

She manages to duck your advances, expertly so, and rears her head with a small chuckle.

“Relax, no one’s listening,” she chides.

“That’s not true,” you argue under your breath. “It's a small shop. You know the vultures circle this place.”

“Not since the old thirsties got busted for their smutty book club — which, quite frankly, I resent losing.”

"You resent?" you repeat, mirroring her squint. “But you never ended up joining the old lady book club.”

“Mm, I didn’t,” Annie agrees, picking up her coffee cup to sip leisurely. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t listen. I looked up a couple of those titles for myself. In retrospect, they had good taste.”

“Seriously?”

“Dead.”

She pauses, setting the cup back on the table.

“So… are you going to make me work for the details, or what?” she finally leads, getting to the point while you skate around it with imaginary triple axels. “Did you call again after Friday?”

You did.

In fact, you've called several times — almost every night since last Friday with the exception of Tuesday, since you’d fallen asleep as soon as you hit the couch after working overtime.

It’s now another Friday afternoon, one week from the first time you’d called the hotline, and you’re wondering what constitutes bordering on addiction.

“I have,” you confirm. 

“That’s all you’re going to say?” she chastises with a grimace. “Boo — tomato, tomato.”

“What?! What did you want me to say?”

“For starters, who the guy is.”

“Not happening.”

“Loser.” A beat passes. “But it’s not Bert?”

You shake your head vehemently.

“Definitely not Bert.”

“Thank god,” she exhales. “I like you, but I don’t know if I like you enough to be calling up the same dude to get our rocks off.”

“Jesus, Annie.”

“Oh, come on, don’t be such a prude.”

You pick up your own tea, sliding it across the table before taking a tentative sip.

“I don’t know how you freely talk about this like we’re trying out restaurants.”

“Because it’s not real?” she suggests, and your stomach flip-flops. 

You know it isn’t. 

It’s a job.

It’s his job.

“I don’t know,” Annie continues, sitting back against her chair with her arm draped across the curve. “It’s no strings attached and hot. I’ll never meet Bert, and he’ll never meet me, and it isn’t like he’s going to ask to hold my hand and beg me to meet his mom.”

“You’re such a commitment-phobe,” you comment with the roll of your eyes. “You won’t ever meet anyone’s mom.”

“Yeah, because I’m not a psycho,” she replies with a snort. “I take it you went premium?”

You nod once. “Levi suggested it.”

Her eyes widen, delighted, and you scowl at your own stupidity.

“Levi?”

Ah.

Fuck.

"Wait." You sit up taller. “Don’t—”

“Oh, that’s a hot name.”

“Annie, I swear to—”

She sours to herself. “Damn, that’s so much hotter than moaning Bert.”

The tea in your cup bubbles from your chortled breath. 

“Oh?”

“Yeah, not my favorite name ever, but that’s fine — because it’s more like he’s moaning Annie.”

Paired with a wicked grin, your friend winks at you.

“We have two very different wants.”

You squint, and her grin widens. “Wait, do you—”

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh my god, Annie.”

“What?!” she chirps with a chuckle. “You like the bossy ones, I like being the boss. You’re not allowed to kink shame me. We’re in this shit together.”

“Who said I like being bossed around?!”

She points her finger at your facedown phone.

“Porco Galliard bosses people around. I’m not stupid. And you scream ‘I don’t like being assertive’.”

Great.

The same observation Levi made over the phone without ever meeting you in person.

“Whatever, that isn’t the point,” you wave off, deciding to try and swerve the subject. “I wanted to ask: how many times do you call a week?”

Annie presses the tip of her tongue against her cheek as she considers.

“A week? Maybe two, three at most. It used to be a hell of a lot more, but I’m working a lot of late nights.”

“When you say ‘a hell of a lot more’, do you mean—?”

“Daily?” she finishes for you then tries to recall. “Why? Are you daily right now?” 

You hate yourself for a second. 

“Sort of? It’s only been a few days, but—”

“Hey, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

She reassures in that randomly serious way Annie can pull on a rare occasion.

Making fun of people might be her favorite pastime, but if she can sense true withdrawal from her friends, then she’s quick to stop. 

The blonde reaches over the table to pat your hand, but it’s hardly a comfort.

Annie is about as comforting as raw-dog wearing a hand-knitted sweater by an amateur: it's itchy, too tight, and you want it to stop immediately. 

“You’re a grown woman with grown woman money. If guys can go get blue balled at the strip club, then why can’t we call a hot guy over the phone?”

Again: not comforting at all.

With reluctance, you nod.

“You have a point.”

“I know I have a point.”

“Then again, I don’t know how long term this fix can be,” you reason. “It’s very expensive.”

“Yeah, but you know what’s more expensive?” Annie retorts. “Hooking up with a stranger at a bar who’s abysmal in bed. Maybe not so much for your wallet, but definitely for your ego.”

“And your sanity,” you agree, “if they’re weird.”

“Or a creep.”

“Or a serial killer.”

“A weird creep that happens to be a serial killer.”

You both give each other a look, an unspoken conversation of two delusional women saying ‘exactly’ in a singular gesture, as you sync the sips of your drinks.

.

.

— —

.

.

  “Do you ever — ha — use to — oh — ys?”

You’re not sure why you’re so chatty with your rabbit vibrator barely hovering over the hood of your clit.

A week ago, you would've been trying to smother yourself with a pillow for talking.

However, with each night you’ve called Levi, the more comfortable you’ve become.

More bold, if openly using toys tells him anything.

The avalanche that brought you here was quite swift.

Traffic lights no longer remind you of the cars on the road but the man waiting for you on this hotline.

A willing striptease; a compliance to do what you wish but let him take the lead.

All you had to say was ‘my hand’s getting tired’ during an edging session.

All Levi had to reply with was ‘if you had a toy, I’d allow you to tag it in’.

Allow.

Like you’re completely under his spell.

Like you couldn’t have been using one from the get-go, but you listened.

You said you did.

He said grab it.

(God, you always listen.)

Now you’re here, legs spread in the center of your bed with your phone sitting between the valley of your breasts as you talk to him through the speaker.

“I am right now,” Levi replies in that diplomatic way of his, the lift of his voice telling: he’s amused by the way you try to speak to him, even when you’re ready to scream with impatience.

“I meant on yourself,” you exhale shakily.

“On myself?”

“Like on c-calls,” you stammer, forcing yourself to focus.

He loves when you lose your mind.

You refuse to cave so fast tonight.

“A mystery for another day,” he teases, before adding in a firmer tone: “You earned it. Touch it to your clit, but don’t go inside yet. I want you wet and ready for me, understand?”

“You’re so mean.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he softens for just a moment. “And don’t talk back.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” you joke, before pressing the device against your clit.

The vibrations surge pleasure down your legs, causing your toes to curl.

You’re not sure if it’s the ‘sir’ or the moan you emit that makes him groan in return.

“The answer is no,” he finally states.

For a second, you think you did something wrong.

Then you circle back, remembering what you asked in the first place.

Right.

The toys question.

“You don’t?”

“Not on me, no.” He exhales, slow and steady. “Too busy making sure I’m hitting the script.”

That’s the funny thing about these calls:

The fourth wall? 

Broken.

He doesn’t pretend to be your boyfriend for the night, just as you don’t pretend he’s only yours.

You’re aware he’s a sex worker, just as he seems to open up about his profession when speaking to you.

At first Levi wouldn’t — it was meant to be a fantasy — but each night he’s divulged more.

Like how he used to be in the military. (Unrelated to sex.)

Like how he has an affinity for tea, going so far as to have a mild cup with you after a session in lieu of a cigarette. (Unrelated to sex.)

Like how he’s a Capricorn. (Unrelated to sex — kind of.)

In the midst of learning about him, you’ve learned about yourself.

You’re less vanilla than you originally thought.

With Porco, things felt regimented.

Scheduled.

You weren’t willing to open up your heart, much less your legs, because he was too cold behind closed doors.

Focused.

Driven to his work and passions.

Levi, on the other hand, will suggest leaning against the wall with your hand in your underwear, eyes forced to watch yourself in your full-length mirror.

To worship yourself, when he can’t.

To pump your fingers into your weeping core, when he can’t.

To give over complete and utter control with the promise that you’ll come as many times as he asks you to, because if he could be in this very room — this very apartment — he’d easily do it himself.

With Levi, you’re bold.

With Levi, you’re in.

So you’re not shy to arch your back, moaning into the receiver when you feel your first orgasm approaching you like the incoming tide.

“Levi,” you whimper his name, “can I—”

“Shit, baby, you know you can,” he practically purrs, already knowing what you’re going to ask. “C’mon. Let me hear that pretty little voice of yours, huh? Just for me?”

“Just for—”

The last word is garbled by the way your teeth clench, legs snapping together as the first climax hits after a relentless twenty-minute edging session.

It’s unreal.

It’s pain.

It’s bliss.

It’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

(Freedom.)

You pant, pulling the vibrator away from your body for a moment to catch your breath.

You hear him hum with approval on the other end, a low rumble against your chest.

“That’s a good girl,” he says after a beat. “Feeling better?”

“So much,” you confess breathlessly.

“You sound better.”

“Thanks to you.”

“Didn’t do much.”

“Oh shut up,” you scowl before laughing.

Turning off the toy for a momentary reprieve, you allow yourself to catch your breath as you grin up at the ceiling.

“Always so goddamn modest.”

“You’re one to talk,” he scoffs, shifting on the other end of the line. “Can’t take a damn compliment to save your life.”

You make a face like he can see you in the dark, but you decide to continue the conversation.

That’s a new thing the two of you have picked up — talking.

Lots of talking.

You get off, sure, but he knows your work drama, your chore schedule — your mailmen even have the same first name, funnily enough.

“I’m serious, though,” you exhale. “Do you ever like… get off? Without toys, obviously.”

“During a call?” he clarifies, and you nod. He answers like he can see it. “No, not — not typically.”

“Wow, so you’ve faked an orgasm with me,” you tease with a blissed out snort. “Shame, shame, I know your name.”

“I what?”

“Faked it,” you clarify, fluffing your pillows behind your head as you situate yourself on your bed. “As if I don’t hear you breathing all heavy and shit over there.”

Then something unusual happens.

The man grows quiet on the other side. 

Nothing shuffles.

No huffs or ‘tchs’.

Just… silence.

“Levi?” you ask, brows knit.

A beat passes, but he answers.

“Yeah?”

“Are you good over there?”

“I— yeah, fine,” he clears his throat.

Uh-oh.

You frown immediately, blinking twice. “Sorry, was that a weird question?”

“Not at all,” he clarifies, gruff this time, “just… I said not typically, not never.”

…oh.

Oh.

Suddenly you abandon the rabbit and sit up in bed, eyes as wide as saucers.

“Wait.”

“Scarlet.”

“No, did you actually—”

“I already said too much.”

“No, wait, you can’t just imply that you’ve gotten off with me then abandon ship here, Levi!”

“I’m not abandoning ship — why do you say such weird shit sometimes?”

“How many times?!” you yelp.

“I’m not answering that.”

“Holy shit,” you exhale, “I’m so mad I didn’t pay attention.”

It’s like you can hear Levi squinting, narrowing his eyes with uncertainty on the other end of the phone. “...why would you be mad?”

“Because maybe I want to hear you get off, too?” you suggest simply.

Another agonizing breath of silence.

Chewing on your bottom lip, you place your phone on your sheets and pick up the vibrator, contemplating your next move.

“Because I would totally love to just… I don’t know, make you moan, too? See what you taste like? Feel you lose control, pull my hair, hold my head down while I wrap my lips around—”

“Baby.”

Two syllables shoot out of his mouth, as if overwhelmed with shock.

Huh.

An Uno reverse in your favor.

You’re no Shakespeare, but what you say is as honest as words can possibly be.

“I picture you all the time,” you confess softly, pressing the rabbit vibrator’s first function.

A low rumble begins, and you guide it between your legs.

You’re already soaked from your session.

There will be little give to the toy.

“When we’re not on the phone together, I wonder what it would be like. I could be at work. I could be at a coffee shop. Like, holy shit, I was meeting with a friend today and all I could think of is how badly I’d love to just take you to it — maybe disappear in the back hall, find a bathroom? I’d bend over a sink. I don’t wear skirts all the time, but I’d wear one for you.”

You hear shifting on the other end of the line, but Levi is deathly silent.

Mindlessly, your hand takes hold of the vibrator and you press against your entrance.

With a tiny whimper, you push in, deliciously enveloped in a sea of vibrations.

“You wouldn’t need to wear a skirt.”

Suddenly his voice appears, and you accidentally push the vibrator further in, causing a strangled moan to exit your mouth. 

“Le—”

“Pants are just as easy,” Levi cuts you off, a thread of a whisper. “Couldn’t take that much effort. Wouldn’t give a shit if anyone saw your damn clothes at your ankles.”

Suddenly the room burns.

“I just know you’d fill me up so good,” you whine, and there’s a sharp hiss on the other end.

“Jesus Christ.”

There.

You hear it: the waver in his voice.

“Yeah, baby,” he concedes. “I’d fill you so fucking good.”

You whimper, a pathetic little noise at the base of your throat, and he exhales a large breath — as if he’s been holding back this entire time.

“Promise?”

“When have I ever led you astray?” he challenges, a bit more strained now.

It’s the hottest thing you've ever heard.

“I wanna make you feel so good,” you breathe, ragged and wrecked, and there’s a small groan on the other end of the line.

“You already do, baby.”

“Not how I want to,” you argue in return, body pulsating with the growing need to release a second. “You’re so good at making me cum, but all I want is to take it how you want me — bend me over and fill me up, push me to my knees and stick my tongue out—”

“Fuck,” he curses sharply. “You’re so good for me. So, so fucking good, not fuckin’ fair.”

“Wanna cum with you.”

He groans, louder this time, and inhales the most deliciously jagged breath you’ve ever heard.

“Right there, baby,” he forces out. “C’mon. Give me one more. Just one more.”

You don’t need to be told twice.

You purposefully bite your tongue when you come a second time, squeezing your eyes shut with all of your senses focused solely on your ears.

A grunt, as if he’s holding back just the same before exhaling, slow and languid.

In your mind’s eye, you see it: how he uses his teeth to hold up his t-shirt, painting his abdomen with streaks of white as he holds himself back from climaxing too loud. His whole body trembles. He squeezes the tip, milking himself for all he’s worth.

Pulling the vibrator from your body, you turn it off and toss it elsewhere on your bed. Your body curls around your phone, trying to stay quiet so you can listen.

Shaky.

Exhausted.

Not typically, not never.

You say nothing, can’t, but a small giggle of euphoria emits from your throat.

Surprisingly, Levi chuckles back with that drugged slowness that comes with exhaustion.

“You’re too damn giddy after two orgasms,” he chastises, which only makes you laugh harder.

“Uh-huh, Huff ‘n Puff,” you tease right back, and he tsk’s right against the phone.

And in your heart, you know—

Know you’re in deep shit.

Know that you like Levi, even if it’s impossible to like a stranger.

Maybe when you get this month’s credit card bill, you’ll sober up from your crush.

But not right now.

Just not right now.

.

.

— —

.

.

  The next morning, you’re up bright and early.

Skip the elevator to the apartment lobby.

Walk down the stairs to kickstart your adrenaline.

Skip the coffee at the local shop.

Choose a small cup of chai instead.

By the time you make it to the gym, you’re more ready than you ever have been in your life to take on the day.

.

.

— —

.

.

  Forty-five minutes later, your sweat even has sweat.

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, the endorphins from a tough workout only make you feel that more excited to get your shit together. To be more mindful of your time.

(Totally not because your last call with Levi was unreal. Nope.)

Overall, you went from hating your life to — well, this.

Whatever this is.

Owning your self agency and worth after a pitiful breakup?

Unfortunately joining this gym had been Porco’s idea — he’s a treadmill hamster, and you got swindled by the sea of abs under his tank tops.

A ‘couples activity’, whatever that meant.

(Being sweaty and tired without an orgasm to finish it off never did feel rewarding.)

After the breakup you considered trying to get out of your 6-month contract, but Porco dipped first.

He joined Pieck’s crossfit endeavor somewhere else in the city, leaving you and this dingy little gym to commiserate together.

Now?

Now, you excitedly get ready in the morning to the gym — not to get thin or look a certain way to appease anyone else. A revenge body is bonafide stupid.

No — you don’t want to be anything but stronger.

Because Levi would probably think it was hot if you were stronger.

Maybe the next time you call, he’ll be impressed that you’ve taken to strength training. 

Maybe he’ll give you some pointers — one more topic of conversation to be had.

Setting down the free weights back on the rack after a thorough cleaning of the equipment, you step out of the way of the other regulars gearing up for their workout and head towards the locker rooms to shower.

In the small pocket of your leggings, you hear your phone vibrate. 

Digging your hand in to fish it out, you see a familiar name on your lock screen.

[A. LEONHART]: Yo [A. LEONHART]: We’re all going out Tuesday for drinks – u in?

All.

All means the department.

All might mean Porco and Pieck.

Annie must sense your apprehension, before adding:

[A. LEONHART]: Porky probs not going, Pieck’s got a family thing

 

Well, that’s two positives.

[ME]: I’ll think about it. [A. LEONHART]: Think about it????

[A. LEONHART]: 🍅🍅🍅

Her and her fucking tomatoes.

You snort and begin to write back—

But not before accidentally slamming chest to chest into a stranger.

The phone flies out of your hand like a bar of wet soap.

Like a Scooby Doo short, it alley-oops to the sky then smashes down against the black-speckled rubber gym floor.

Before you can even react, the person you’d bumped into is bending to crouch on the floor.

“Shit. My fault.”

Every cell in your body freezes.

Time ceases to exist.

They scoop your phone into their hand, flipping it over checking for damage. 

Luckily, the screen is intact. 

No fall damage.

But that isn’t why you’re frozen.

As they rise to full stance, your eyes are still downcast. 

From their sneakers your eyes crawl up, up, up — noticing the basketball shorts that cut just above the knee with compression under armor peeking beneath.

On his torso is an emerald green tank top, clinging to his flexing abs, the fabric speckled with sweat. 

His collarbones are defined; chin just as sharp as his cheekbones.

Then you meet his eyes.

A blue-ish gray.

The man standing before you runs on the shorter side — under average height for a man.

His ebony hair dangles and sticks to his sweat-slicked forehead, the ends pointed and shaggy.

It takes a moment until you realize you’ve seen that hair before.

While you’ve taken to walking on the treadmill for your warm-up these last several weeks, he’s typically nestled in the strength training corner of the gym alone. 

Every morning that you’re here, he is also here diligently working on his physique.

He’s always in some squat position or lying on a bench, so you never paid attention to his face—

He’s fucking gorgeous.

“Looks like it’s fine,” he says casually, and your stomach falls out of your ass.

Baritone.

Smooth like honey, low like a rumble.

There’s no way.

There is absolutely no way it’s—

“Here.”

The man holds your phone out for you, brows knitting curiously. 

You can’t speak. 

Hell, you can barely breathe.

He shakes his hand to wake you from your shock.

“Take it.”

You know that voice like the back of your hand.

Wordlessly, you reach a shaky hand towards the phone to take it back.

You part your lips to speak, but no words exit.

All you can do is grasp your phone and pull it to your chest as you catch the scent of his deodorant with a mixture of musk when he passes by, none the wiser.

By the time you turn to say something, anything—

Levi from Scout Services Hotline dips into the men’s locker room.

.

Author's Note:

...oops.

Thank you for reading part three of P4! I continue to be blown away by the response. Because of your encouragement, I wrote one of the fastest updates I've made in ages. How are we feeling now? Let me know in the comments!

Thank you for likes, and even more love to those who choose to reblog this to help spread the word of this series or reply in the comments. ilu xo

[visionsofmagic]

✧˚ · . mk1 men with villain!reader [bubbles] ˚ · .

tomas, kuai liang, bi han, raiden, liu kang, johnny cage, kung lao, syzoth, shang tsung

—⭒ intro. dialogues, fluff, spicy, crush!mk1 men, crush!reader, pet names, hurt/comfort, flirting, power play, 's all? • came to my mind & I wanted to write but it's my first time to write this kind of work [intro. dialogues], so, take easy on me please. enjoy!

y/n: oh hi pretty boy! already missed me? tomas: what would I miss? you tried to rip my heart last time we met!

y/n: c’mon tomas, be a good boy for me and maybe I will let you come and take a look up close. tomas: I prefer not to get so close y/n. I don’t want to end up like the last time.

tomas: it's tragic to see you as an enemy of mine, y/n. I wish we met before all the bad things happened in your life. y/n: don't, tomas, don't give me hope of having someone who understands me truly.

kuai liang: don’t play with me, y/n. y/n: what would you do? burn me alive? well, that kinda sounds sexy.

y/n: well well, it's good to see my favorite boy. kuai liang: favorite boy to kiss or kill?

kuai liang: you should join me y/n. together we can protect the earthrealm. y/n: it’s a bit sad how you chose to protect it when you can simply - burn it to the ground.

bi han: you were so much more fearful in my dreams. y/n: you dreamt about me? oh, so cute!

y/n: c’mon ice boy, I bet you need someone to warm your bed. bi han: I take this as an invitation, y/n. are you so needy for me?

bi han: together we can reach the power we need. y/n: baby, I can’t decide which version of you is sexier; evil or good boy. so, I would say; both.

liu kang: don’t play with this timeline, y/n. keep still. be good for once. y/n: but where is the fun in that?!

liu kang: for what you have done, I should punish you. y/n: it sounds kind of hot when you say it like that fire god.

y/n: I bet you would look so good on your knees before me. liu kang: you always have a side that is hungry for power, aren't you, y/n?

raiden: I wish you were on our side, y/n. y/n: it’s not my way to be a gentle farmer boy. I like it rough.

y/n: oh, is that blush on your pretty face? raiden: don’t even start again!

raiden: liu kang says we once were lovers - in previous timelines. y/n: you sound excited raiden. it’s a matter of time before we become one in this too.

johnny cage: oh, where have you come from? hell? because you’re burning like one! y/n: after this fight, I will not be the only one who’s burning, cage.

y/n: no one can replace me, so, I can choose to play in your movie, johnny. johnny cage: really?! baby, you even deserve your own movie! with me, as your partner.

johnny cage: you have all villain types baby; power, rage, a bit of sexy energy. y/n: and you have everything to be thankful that I will go easy on you, star boy.

kung lao: you should be on our side, miss. y/n: it’s boring, but I can let you be on mine farmer boy.

y/n: I like your hat much more now. how about we make a good use of it? in bed. kung lao: oh, right? thank you for the - wait, what?!

kung lao: liu kang warned us about you; about how bloodthirsty you can be. y/n: you shouldn't worry too much cutie, I will be gentle with you.

y/n: can you really shape-shift into a human and a reptile? it’s fascinating! can I have a close look? syzoth: don't even think about it y/n. the last time's marks are still on my tail.

syzoth: why do you keep fighting with me? y/n: because I wanna see the beast inside you. it’s mesmerizing.

y/n: you should be my assistant instead of milena’s. we can have so much fun together. syzoth: a voice in me says that the fun you refer to is not what I think it is.

y/n: don’t think I am at your side shang tsung. it’s just business. shang tsung: such a shame my lady. we could have been a great couple.

shang tsung: I wonder what you looked like in previous timelines, darling. y/n: curiosity killed the cat, sorcerer. focus on me instead.

y/n: you know, I kinda like seeing you on your knees shang tsung. no one can even guess how pathetic you’re for me. shang tsung: I don’t care my love. satisfying you is my priority.

💛

[thebestsetter]

Thinking about your first christmas spent with Alexis Ness.

Germany's streets were full of bright red and green lights. The buzzling of people buying presents for their loved ones filled the stores, and a common yet gentle christmas melody rung in the air, creating a movie-like scenario.

Amongst the seemingly infinite crowd of people, you and your boyfriend, Alexis Ness, walked hand in hand through a busy Munich. It was one of his rare off weeks. I guess even Bayern's managers know about the whole christmas' spirit thing and decided to give their player a little break.

"Look, Lexis! It's snowing!" You smiled, stretching your free hand to touch a little snowflake that fell from the night sky. The night was so cold that little puffs of hair could be seen when you spoke "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yes, meine Liebe" he said, looking straight at you and not even once sparing a glance at the snowflake. How could he, when the prettiest one he's ever known was right in front of him, holding his hand like she'd die if she let go? "It is."

Ness' parents never celebrated Christmas. Actually, they never celebrated any holidays. This was the first christmas he was really getting to enjoy. And all because of you, his sweet girlfriend. God, just thinking about you made his heart combust.

How did he bag you, really?

"Come on! We need to be quick or else the book store is going to be closed by the time we get there!" You laughed, pulling him with you and running.

"Slow down, Angel!" He laughed, tightening his hold on your hand and running after you, muttering a quick "Sorry" to the people you both bumped into.

Your matching Harry Potter houses scarfs flowing in the wind together created a beautiful picture, and your laughs mixed with the sound of christmas songs and bells. One hand holding yours and the other holding his hat so it wouldn't fall, Ness tried to drink in every single milimeter of you, wanting to keep the picture of your smiling face in his memory forever.

He was really enjoying this. Was christmas always this fun?!

"Willkommen!" Said the sweet bookstore lady. She was a short old woman with round glasses and a gentle smile on her face. She matched the christmas vibe perfectly "What do you lovebirds want?" She smiled at you both, which made Alexis blush a little.

Being yours was the greatest title he has ever achieved. He was smitten for you, and couldn't even believe you actually wanted to be with him. You were just so, so perfect!

"I'd like a child's book, please. It's for my little cousin! She really likes princesses, so if you had something like that it would be great!" You smiled at her

"Oh! I have just the right thing. You wait right here and I'll go fetch it!" She smiled right back at you, entering a little door on the side of the cashier.

The store was pretty much empty, since people don't seem to like books anymore. Only you, Alexis and the lady's cat were there. The weather was warm because of the heater, and the wood bookshelves made you feel like you were in a 1950's movie.

You and Ness sat down at a little table on the side of the store. He began playing with your fingers gently, and then looked at you with such fondness in his eyes that made you melt.

"This is the last one, right?" Ness asked, smiling

"Yep!" You answered

Actually, this was not the last present you wanted to buy. You wanted to buy something for Ness, but didn't know what it would be. It was your first christmas spent with him, so it needed to be the perfect gift.

"When will you give it to her?" He asked "To your little cousin, I mean"

"My uncle will dress up as Santa to give it to her and my other cousins" you smiled, and then sighed longingly while a memory came to your head "My family does that every year. It makes me remember when I was the one to recieve gifts from Santa. Good times. My favorite one was a doll I got when I was like, eight." You then remembered your "issue", and realized you could know what gift to give Ness based on his own favorite gift.

Bingo! It would make him remember the good part of his childhood and he would like it! After all, who doesn't feel like letting out your inner kid sometimes?

"What was your favorite gift from Santa?"

Ha, you're a genius!

Suddenly, Ness' smile dropped, and he looked almost embarassed by something. He looked at the table with a sad expression on his face and blushed

Oh oh. Maybe you're not so genius.

"I-I never got anything from Santa" he admitted, shamefully "My parents didn't really celebrate christmas, so I never got one. I always put my sock up though, but he never came"

That was the saddest thing you've ever heard.

"Oh, Lexis!" You caressed his face gently. You then got up and brought him closer to you.

His shoulders trembled a little, so you enveloped him in a hug

"I'm so sorry you had to go through this!" You couldn't back off now. You needed to buy exactly what little kid Alexis wanted. "What did you want to recieve, though?"

"Anything would be fine" he muttered, voice muffled by your coat "But I really wanted a wand. You know Harry Potter's wand?" You nodded "That one"

"I found the book!" The old lady came back, interrupting the moment. She quickly realized it though, and was fast to apologize "I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No." You assured her "No, don't worry. Let me see the book."

"Here" she handled it to you

"Sounds good" you said after analyzing it "I'll take it. Wait here, Love. I'll be right back"

"I'll pay for it."

"No need, Lexis. I have money"

"I insist."

"Okay then..."

"You both are so cute together"

Once again, Ness blushed like the lovesick fool he was.

Sadly, you didn't have the time to even tease him about it. While he was wrapping your cousin's future book, there was only one thought going through your head:

You finally found Alexis' gift.

"Merry Christmas, Love!" You woke him up by whispering it in his ear, followed by a hug right after.

"Good morning, liebe. And merry christmas to you, too!" He smiled, hugging you just as strongly as you did to him before.

This was really nice. Just you and him, together, cuddling and enjoying each other's presence. He really could get used to this.

"You know, I heard something downstairs while we were sleeping!" You said, faking a terrified expression

"Really?!" Ness asked, fully believeing what you said "Do I need to call the police?"

"NO!" You shouted, but quickly composed yourself "I mean, no! Why don't you just go check?"

"...you sure?"

"Yeah! Go downstairs! More precisely, go take a look under our christmas tree!!"

"Uhm... okay then"

It's not like he could EVER disagree with you anyway.

And so, Ness jumped off the bed, heading towards the christmas tree you both decorated together.

"Where did you say I need to check, again?" He asked, a little confused as to why you were recording the whole thing ever since he got out your shared bedroom.

"Underneath the tree! See if there's something there!" You said, not being able to contain how giddy you were feeling.

"There's a... present" Ness exclaimed, holding the wrapped box and scaning all of it's side

"Oh my! Who would have thought?" You smiled, giggling "Who's the owner of the box, I ponder!"

"The thief that invaded our house!" Ness shouted, confident that he got the question right

"Lexis, no." You deadpan, putting the phone down and walking closer to him "Look for a name in the wrapping"

And he did as he was told.

"To: Lexis" He read, and you smiled "Who gave me this, you?"

"Oh, no no! I was sleeping the whole time!" You then faked a surprised expression "Maybe it was Santa!"

"...Santa?"

"Yes! Open it, quickly! It's your christmas present from Santa!"

"Uhm... alright"

He tore the gift open

No way.

No freaking way.

A Harry Potter wand. The thing he always wanted ever since he was a kid.

"Oh wow! Santa really knows you, huh?" You teased, but his brain didn't even register it. He was too focused thinking about other things.

Santa doesn't exist.

This gift couldn't be from Santa. It was from you.

The first christmas present he ever got was from you.

Hell, this wand could be a rock and he would still accept it gladly. Because the gift doesn't matter. What matters is the person who gave it.

You. The love of his life.

He carefully put the wand down and pproached you with big, round eyes.

"Alexis? What are you..."

You couldn't even finish your sentence. He just pulled you in for one of the most heart-felt hugs you ever experienced. His arms wrapped around you in a strong embrace, but not in a umconfortable way. It felt safe. He felt safe.

"Thank you" He muttered, placing his face in the crook of your neck and inhaling your scent and wait - why did your shoulder suddenly feel wet? "Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. I love you. God, I love you so, so much. You have no idea"

"I love you too, Lexis" You hugged him back, caressing his hair with your hands.

Man, christmas was amazing.

And so the snow began falling again, as the lovers basked in each other's presence.

Christmas is about spending time with those you love. And you were both doing exactly that.

"Merry christmas, Meine Liebe"

"Merry christmas, Lexis"

~ This has been in my drafts since october.

DEDICATED TO NESS' GF @megwuru!!!

[milkteabinniechan]

♡Let It Snow Part One - Minsung

MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY MEMBERSHIP//M.LIST

pairing: minsung x fem! reader

summary: snowed in with your two favorite pretty boys with nothing to do but confess some secrets in the dark.

warnings: angst, love triangle, mind games, light kissing

“Then confess something to me.” Minho's voice was low. He leaned in close to you as a cat-like grin spread across his face. “Did Jisung try to kiss you while I was in the kitchen?”

You always liked Christmas time, you always liked the snow. There was something so magical about the way the snowflakes landed perfectly against the windowpane. You loved to watch them fall either light or heavy onto the ground below. There is something so comforting about empty streets in the evenings. When it was winter it was quiet. But not a quiet that scares you, not a quiet that made you feel alone, it was a quiet that made you feel at peace. It was a feeling that everything was restarting. Perhaps it was because the new year was coming. But tonight felt like a night for new beginnings.

You arrived at Minho's apartment on a cold winter evening in the middle of December. You had already done your Christmas shopping and the two of you had set this night aside for a fun game night. You knocked on the front door only to find Jisung standing there to greet you.

“Come on in, pretty lady.” Jisung held the door open wide for you. He had been living with Minho for a couple months now and since then you had spent more time here than at your own apartment.

You pushed his shoulder back gently but with just enough force to let him know you genuinely loved his teasing. Minho was in the kitchen with the sounds of pans moving and spoons scraping across skillets filled with delicious sauce.

“Thank God Minho is the one cooking tonight.” You tease. Jisung rolls his eyes and gives you a playful shove in return. The two of you make your way to the couch and watch from the window as the snow falls heavy outside. You shiver for a moment at the sight. “Are you cold?” Jisung turned his head towards you, his brows furrowing in concern.

“Just a bit.” You admitted. Without hesitation, he put one arm around you and then another, pulling you in close to him. Your cheek brushed softly against his and you could hear his breathing come to a halt. “Jisung? Are you…” your sentence was cut short with the press of Jisung’s lips against yours. It was a clumsy, sudden kiss that made your eyes shoot open wide as the rest of your words were muffled and swallowed instantly. But before you could let yourself sink into the kiss, Jisung pushed you back, his mouth pressed closed. “Shit. Sorry, I…I don't know why I…” his words trailed off, lost somewhere in his mind while he searched your face for some kind of understanding.

You smiled wide and covered your face for a moment in a sigh of relief. “Jisung, I liked it.” You whispered through your fingers. You lean towards him, a silent invitation that you wanted, no-, needed more. His eyes flint down to your lips as they start to part.

“Dinner’s almost ready, guys.” Minho's voice rang from the kitchen. The sound made the two of you jump. “Shit.” Jisung cursed under his breath. “Minho's gonna kill me, he- he really likes you…”

“He does?” You pondered. Your body was still leaning in towards Jisung.

“Shit! I should've said that!” He exclaimed, securing his hand over his mouth like a lock and key. He jumped up from the couch and made his way across the room to the bathroom. Minho sauntered out to the living room and gave you a soft smile. He gave you a bowl of his famous tteobboki and some utensils. But he quickly noticed someone important missing from the room. “Where's Jisung?”

“He, he left? I don't know…” you stammer. You can feel your cheeks already turning red as Minho turned his head towards the hall then back to you. A sly, almost evil smile began to pull on his lips. He made himself comfortable next to you on the couch, bringing an arm up and resting it just above your shoulders. Minho always knew how to fluster you, he had a natural talent for it. You wondered if he had the same effect on Jisung as well.

“What happened out here with the two of you?” He pressed, casually twirling his fingers in and out of your hair.

“Nothing!” You blurt out. An obvious lie, your hands almost becoming too sweaty to hold the bowl of tteobboki anymore.

“Then confess something to me.” Minho's voice was low. He leaned in close to you as a cat-like grin spread across his face. “Did Jisung try to kiss you while I was in the kitchen?”

Your hands go numb from Minho's bluntness and the bowl slips from your hands. Thankfully his flawless reflexes kick in and he catches it before it even touches the ground. “I, I mean…he did but…” you stutter, all the words you want to say getting jammed and piled up behind your throat.

“Ha! Didn't think he had it in him.” he laughed, the smile on his face growing wider. You echo his smile and let out a sigh of relief. “You're not mad?” You murmur softly.

“Mad? Kitten, I don't mind sharing and neither does he. I'm great at sharing my toys. The question is…are you?”

taglist: @simply-trash5 @sugawhaaa @trixiekaulitz @chrizzztopherbang @cassidymb121 @roanns-posts @staysinbloom @yaorzu-blog @bubblebisk @cotton-candycloudz @beautyinhypnosis @domicaru @strawberry31 @slxtmeri @newhope8 @tinyelfperson @dandelions-143 @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @msauthor @fun-fanfics @ell0thebell @stephanieeeyang @juskz @kimahreummm @readr1221 @kayleefriedchicken @ovulatingrn @hwnglixho @darthmaddie25 @queen-in-the-shadows @itgirlalisaa @miinhoo @greyaia @chanchansgirly @skzleeknowcore @skz-smut-reader @thatisrankharry @hearts4yawnzzn @jchotch726 @cherricola-star @minh0scat @kibs-and-bits @minhosgirlposts @firelordtsuki

[covenists]

✦ MISS CRAZY CAT LADY, M. VERSTAPPEN

when he dates her, everybody just know that his girlfriend is a crazy cat lady.

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦

yourusername

liked by florencepugh and 529,610 more

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⤷ username omg shapeshifter is real😨

username he is so chonky i wanna bite him

username it must be so comfortable to be sleeping on his stomach

⤷ yourusername it doessss

username i just love her and i need a cat insta for their cats (also to make her sounds like lewis in roscoe's ig)

⤷ yourusername 👀👀

⤷ username y/n be honest what are you planning

yourusername added a photo to their story!

caption: just watched spiderman last night with jimmy and sassy (also max) but he's gone the whole movie, so i decided to surprise him😉

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1 and 641,332 more

yourusername i'm fine, and he just get his the bath on his life (arguably). but i promise we're good 😄👍

view all 390 comments

username jimmy be honest what are you saying to her until she make this

⤷ username i think you should say those things to max instead maxverstappen1

username ‘i promise we're good’ BAHSHAHAH Y/N WHAT'RE YOU DOINNN

⤷ yourusername saving my life

⤷ username i mean literally

username i think this is her apologize post guys...

username but he looks so relaxed there

⤷ username careful homie, that cat has two personalities. could be more.

maudeapatow glad you survived, i should make you a welcome cake for this.

⤷ yourusername oh yes pleeeasee😩🥺

username does max bribe you or something🤔🤔 seems quite odd

⤷ username ALL OF THIS WAS ODD💀💀💀

carlossainz55 i have survived him once. i think that was the most intense things that i've ever had.

⤷ maxverstappen1 really? not even your racing incident?

⤷ carlossainz55 (+ with animal)

⤷ carlossainz55 maxverstappen1 don't bring that one.

username gosh how i love this comments section

username she's a crazy cat lady like my god get a grip

username mate, if you wanna do hatin, do it somewhere else

username hmmmm meetup with albon_pets when?

⤷ yourusername somedayyy

username right now i'm still curious about her reply on that comment on a pet insta topic

⤷ username they have to be as silly and must develop another personality like lewis does for roscoe's ig account.

maxverstappen1 added a photo to their story!

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc and 969,573 more

maxverstappen1 it's been 8766 days since my crazy cat lady is being born!! happy birthday, lovely. more and more hours to be with you🫶🏻🫶🏻🎂🥳

view all 461 comments

username she looks high already😂😂

username AW THEEE CAKKEEEEE

yourusername I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUUCHHHHH TO THE MOON AND BACK

liked by maxverstappen1

username the way he copies her birthday wishes for marc I'M CACKLING AJAJAKAJJAJA

⤷ yourusername he's a copycat🐱

⤷ maxverstappen1 i'm not by the way

username I WANNA BE HERRRR

charles_leclerc happy birthday to max's cat lady. i hope your cat doesn't attack me again

⤷ yourusername it was an accident, you smell like a fish sauce

⤷ charles_leclerc I'M NOT! don't listen to her guys

landonorris wishing you all the best, y/n!🥳🥳

maudeapatow happy birthday for you miss crazy cat lady from meeee<3😂😁

lisakudrow happy birthday to you darling girl! wishing you and all the smelly cats out there all the best❤️❤️

⤷ yourusername YOU TOOO MAMA!!!

⤷ username LISA KUDROW??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???!?!?!!!

username wait y/n's cat have attacked charles before?

⤷ maxverstappen1 nobody knows

lewishamilton happy birthday y/n!

marvelstudios happy birthday to our arachne! 🕷️

yourusername added a photo to their story!

[outerbankies]

the pool scene was SOOOO new light summer coded like right at the start ☀️ he comes to bring her her morning coffee and she’s like hmmmm can’t you just stay here and quit ur job pls!!!! and you know for a split second he’s considering it

OOPS!

new light: summer love

new light masterlist

a/n: also takes care of (caressing inner thigh then slowly leaning in to trail kisses) from the prompt celly! wahoooooo

You’re just about to doze off beside your parents’ pool, Gretchen stretched out on the chaise lounge beside you while Margot lazes on a raft in the pool, the thick July humidity and the shade of the gigantic oak trees covered in Spanish moss enough to lull you into a cat nap.

But your parents’ dog Wilbur, who’d taken refuge under your chair, scrambles out from under and bolts through the back garden and toward the house, causing the three of you to investigate the intrusion on your otherwise perfect, post-workout pool day.

“Ladies,” Rafe greets, emerging from rows of hydrangea bushes dressed in his business casual. You place a hand over your eyes to block the sun and see him better in his powder blue button-up, navy-patterned tie faltering in the slight breeze. He makes a beeline once he spots you, setting what he’d been carrying down on the unoccupied lounge to your other side: a cardboard tray of three iced coffees from your favorite shop in town, the one you happen to know is so out of the way if he left from his dad’s office.

You hadn’t even expected to see him today, the scheduling gods against you both, but here he is taking a seat right beside you on your own chaise, leaning over you just close enough you catch his cologne, before he pulls his wayfarers off and places them on top of his head.

“Hi,” he says, leaning down for a kiss. He lets it linger, or maybe you do, still a bit stunned to see him here right now. 

“Hi,” you finally answer, taking his face in your hands the red of your nails a contrast to his cheeks. “What are you doing here, Rafe?”

He shrugs, eyes flickering down to your lips, where you’d just reapplied your Laneige, before he steals another kiss. “Wanted to see you. How was pilates?”

“Spin,” you correct, still dazed, even as you feel your chair move when your dog dives back under it. “It was good. Still waiting for you to join us like you promised you would.”

“And I will,” he promises again, with another shrug. “Before the end of the summer.”

“Sorry to ruin your nooner, Cameron!” comes Margot’s voice from the pool. Gretchen and Rafe both laugh but you just groan, hiding your face in your hands as he twists toward her to make his reply, his tongue just as quick.

“All good, Margs. Brought you a coffee, if you wanna act a little more grateful,” he says, tilting his head toward the drink carrier.

Gretchen gasps as she sits up, up until this point laid back and watching you two with a sickly fond look, “Me too?”

“Of course,” Rafe replies. “I know Y/n/n is a fiend, but these aren’t all for her.”

She pats his shoulder, squealing on her way to pick up her drink, taking Margot’s too and walking toward the other side of the pool where the other girl floats, chancing a wink back at you as she leaves earshot. 

“I’m covered in tanning oil,” you say in warning, concerned for his pastel shirt and what Ward will say if he comes back from lunch covered in oily splotches, as you feel him sink further into your side.

“I’m very aware of what you are and aren’t covered in right now,” he murmurs. Rafe seems completely indifferent to all the places your bodies touch, giving you a once-over.

You make hands at the last drink in the carrier, humming in satisfaction when he hands it over and it tastes exactly how you thought it would. “You on lunch?”

He nods. “Didn’t realize I wouldn’t get to see you tonight, so.”

“I know,” you sigh. “I’m sorry I got the days mixed up, but the Boneyard should still be fun.”

You had an overnight babysitting gig a few neighborhoods over that you thought wasn’t until tomorrow, putting a bit of a wrench in the dinner plans you made with your boyfriend before you were supposed to ride with your friends to a bonfire.

You’d let him know as soon as you confirmed with the kid’s parents this morning, to which Rafe had replied a long (and dramatic) chain of sad faces. 

“It’s okay, baby. Might stay in anyway,” he says, kissing your cheek, then hiding his face there for a second. His lips brush the shell of your ear, “especially if there’s any possible way you sneak me into the Truitts’ tonight.”

When he pulls away to smirk at you, you grasp onto his tie, keeping him close to your face. “You’re not down.”

Rafe swallows, and you hate the way your eyes track the movement of his throat. “It would be worth the awkward run-in with Mrs. Truitt at the Island Club.”

“You can barely handle sneaking in here,” you say, your head tilting toward your bedroom window, which Rafe takes a second to look at wistfully, probably reminiscing on the times he’s nearly broken an ankle scaling the trellis for it this summer. “You jump every time you hear a creak in the night, thinking it’s my dad about to drag you out by your ears.”

“There are a lot of creaks at night,” he defends.

“Old house,” you challenge, releasing him and stretching your arms up over your head, settling down further into the chaise. “You should be used to it by now.”

The hand he’d been resting on your knee cap trails just slightly down your inner thigh. “I’ll never be used to this.”

You sigh, pressing our legs together, which budges his hand out from the area it’d been exploring. But Rafe’s touch doesn’t stray far, the metal on his ring finger resting on your outer thigh instead, his thumb stroking.

“You’re teasing me,” you warn.

His thumb hooks into the string of your bathing suit bottoms. “Oh, I’m teasing you?”

“Sure you can’t quit your job?”

“Be our coffee boy forever,” Margot calls.

“We tip!” Gretchen tacks on.

“Well with an offer like that…” he murmurs only for you to hear, suddenly as privy as you to the fact that your friends are probably listening in on as much as they possibly can. 

He still leans in for another kiss though, a few pecks trailing from your lips, over your jaw and down to where the strap of your bathing suit top rests over your neck, his face coming back to hover over yours as his eyes slowly open again. “Dinner tomorrow instead?”

You nod readily. “Dinner tomorrow. I’ll be free by the afternoon. I could come meet you in town? By the office?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I’ll come get you, sweetheart.”

You beam, pleased you already know when you’ll next see him again, even if it is over 24 hours from now. You couldn’t help it and neither could he; much to the chagrin of your parents and friends, the two of you were inseparable this summer. “Okay. And have fun tonight if you do go, alright?”

He shakes his head, collapsing back into you, his face hidden in your neck again.

“Nooo,” he whines. “On the real, if I did come to the Truitts—”

“Alright,” you laugh, getting your hands under his shoulders to push him away. “I’m pretty sure your lunch is over.” 

“Over when I say it is,” he says, not going without a few more kisses, one somehow ending up on your shoulder, right over a mark you’d had to cover up with clothes and concealer ever since he left it there. But he eventually does let you breathe, leaving a hand on your cheek while he checks the watch on his other wrist. “You’re right though. Shit.”

“Mhm,” you say, nodding into his palm. “Have a good rest of your day. I’m happy you came by.”

He kisses your forehead before finally standing again, readjusting his tie, looking down at it and then back to you. “I’m happy, too. How do I look?”

“Oh my god, fine, Rafe. Get outta here!” Margot shouts.

Over the sound of Gretchen’s laughter, you nod in assurance at him. “You look good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He just barely avoids a splash of water from the girls as he makes his way back inside, causing you to laugh around the straw of your drink, which you’d barely gotten to try. Rafe looks back from the hydrangeas as he puts his sunglasses back on, shaking his head with a grin splitting his face.

You don’t know how you’ll last ’til tomorrow.

[emmcfrxst]

thinking about halloween/christmas with parent!reader + logan and laura :(((

i know i’m late to this but oh my god YES. logan brings so many bags because he knows she wants to go to pretty much every house that’s decorated (she did have to learn trick or treat etiquette, because the first house she chose had zero decorations and when the door opened to One Of Those middle aged women— you know the ones — and the lady started yelling at laura for being raised wrong, laura realized that she wouldn’t get candy from that lady and she looked at her dead in the eye before walking over to her car and unsheathing her claws, successfully slashing her tires which lead to more screaming and for logan to have a goddamn headache already; he did take her aside after that fiasco and taught her that she can only knock on the door of houses that are decorated and no, laura, you can’t stab people if they give you shitty candy, jesus christ kid) anyways yes he brings so many bags because he wants her to get as many candies as she wants and he’s more than willing to carry the weight of like eight large, full candy bags if it means his daughter will smile at him like that— you and her are both dressed up as characters from laura’s favorite musical and although logan categorically refused to wear a costume, he only grumbled a little bit when you shoved cat ears on top of his head (to his defence, he couldn’t say no because you jokingly threatened to make him sleep on the couch if he didn’t, but really he would have done it anyway to make his girls happy) so at the end of the night you end up with five full large bags of candy (so what if logan intimidated/bullied people into giving her more candy. mind your own business bub) and a child on a massive sugar rush, but it’s more than worth the trouble of chasing her around the house to stop her from trying to climb furniture and running around because she finally gets to be a kid <3

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM SHREK 2 *  assorted dialogue from the 2004 film, adjust as necessary

quick! tell a lie!

i can't believe you're just gonna walk away from the best thing that ever happened to you.

say something crazy, like "i'm wearing ladies underwear!"

i most certainly am not!

it's a thong!

i don't feel any different. do i look any different?

you still look like an ass to me.

nobody said i have the right to remain silent!

you have the right to remain silent. what you lack is the capacity.

stop. i have misjudged you.

join the club. we got jackets.

look, she's not seeing any clients today.

we're from the union.

we represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.

are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?

okay, we're going to have a look around.

think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.

oh man. where do i begin?

they all got drunk and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "piñata! piñata!"

i need you to cry!

all i got in my room was shampoo.

i hate mondays.

who on earth are they?

that's not little. that's a really big problem.

we came, we saw them, now let's go before they light the torches.

they're my parents!

good! now's our chance! let's go back inside and pretend we're not home.

quick, while they're not looking, we can make a run for it.

you can do this.

i don't want to die!

oh sweet sister mother of mercy! i'm melting! i'm melting!

i'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.

oh look! a little cat!

look out! he's got a piece!

are we there yet?

oh god help me! please!

tell the truth. will i ever be able to play the violin again?

i drank the potion and well, now... i'm sexy.

oh pick me! i'll be your true love!

someday i will repay you, unless of course i can't find you, or if i forget.

fear me, if you dare.

i had hoped you would never see me like this.

i'm sorry to both of you.

i just wish i could be the man that you deserve.

go! your lady needs you!

today, i repay my debt.

who dares enter my room?

i hope i'm not interrupting anything.

you are told correct, but for this i charge a great deal of money.

for five minutes, could you not be yourself?

it wasn't my fault! he didn't get there in time!

are you kidding? he's gorgeous! his face looks like it was carved by angels?

i see london! i see france!

why don't we drop in for a spell?

oh mexican food! my favorite!

you have forced me to do something i really don't want to do.

my diet is ruined! i hope you're happy.

they just want to give us their blessing.

who said i want to be part of this family?

look out! here comes the new me!

first things first. we need to get you out of those clothes.

did i miss?

pardon me. would you mind letting me go?

quit messing around!

almost everybody who meets you wants to kill you.

whatever happens... i must not cry.

can i help you, your majesty?

tell us about where you live.

i guess that will be a fine place to raise the children.

oh, stop being such a drama king.

i don't care whose fault this was, just get this place cleaned up.

i'm not going.

he's completely lost his mind!

we can't be lost.

i wasn't the one who refused to stop for directions.

you're so tense.

do you think you could get up there?

i've made changes for you. think about that.

i guess i gave her the wrong tea.

sorry. i thought that question was directed at me.

uh... FYI. not my fault.

we just need to work out something smarter, that's all.

i need to have someone "taken care of."

[81folklore]

little life - SARGEANT

pairings: logan sargeant x secret!reader (fc: chazlyn yvonne)

summary: logan is spotted liking and following an anonymous instagram account, a few sweet posts follow

type: social media au (smau)

authors note: starsandsun is your username! and nala is the cat! i love this song so much and this idea has been rotting in my brain!!

authors note 2: kinda ran out of pictures but i dont want to make a part 2 (im going to try leaving this in one part) so its a bit rushed and not really how i wanted,, i hope you guys enjoy and as always my requests are open!!

masterlist

posted 15 june 2023

starsandsun

liked by user3, user62, logansargeant and 936 others

🐈🧺☀️

view comments

user3 my favorite account!!

posted 26 july 2023

starsandsun

liked by user8, user11, user00 and 1,142 others

smiles from books and beaches 🌊

view comments

user11 wheres the dress from?

starsandsun wildroseandsparrow !!

logansargeant ☀️☀️

posted 3 august 2023

liked by user63, logansargeant, user05 and 1,218 others

scrapbook of summer memories 🎀🧚‍♀️🩰🌷

view comments

user05 10 10 10 across the board🌟

starsandsun 🥹🩷

(sorry for the typo in the user🫶)

logansargeant and starsandsun added to their stories

seen by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 306,261 others

logansargeant replies:

alex_albon date night??

user72 WHERE IS THIS MAN

starsandsun

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, user10 and 3,172 others

feeling prettier everyday🌸🍀🎀

view comments

logansargeant i thought it said to not pick the lavender☹️

starsandsun but its pretty💜💜

logansargeant like you!! this comment has been deleted

lilymhe pretty pretty girl🌟

starsandsun ahh thank you lovely🥹💫

starsandsun

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, user71 and 5,271 others

i think i like this little life🌊🐈🌅🦌

view comments

logansargeant my favorite lady💫🌷

starsandsun my pretty boy☀️☀️

logansargeant missing you and nala😕

starsandsun we miss you too!! we always leave a seat for you🩷🩷

user111 oh my god theyre so cute😭😭☹️☹️

user78 they fit eachother so well :’)

user40 shes so cute what☹️

lilymhe im so obsessed w you

starsandsun i love yooooouuu🌟🌟🧚‍♀️

oscarpiastri can i see the deers??

starsandsun come visit and we can all go see them☺️☺️

logansargeant and we’ll take you too the beach!!!

user62 oh theyre already my faves

[jin-jamm-desu]

*°•_:JJK Headcanons:_•°*

;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;

!!!Fluff, ❌🍋(no smut)!!!

Featuring/Pairing: Itadori Yuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Kento Nanami, Inumaki Toge

(These are the (some) main people I absolutely know how to write for,

please give me ideas if you don't see someone/thing you'd like to see. <3)

*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::* °×•×°×•×°×•×°First Date°×•×°×•×°×•×°

Itadori Yuji: ° Your first date and 1 month' aversarry (1 month' anniversary) is gonna take place at a cat/pet cafe.

° No exeptions

° Itadori is gonna have a ball with you regardless of where your first date is, but he know how much you like cats/(other animals).

° All of his attention is on you as you take pictures of the animals and eat the cute food.

° He can barely take his eyes off of you <3

° He fell first and fell harder.

° He is the type of guy to bring you a bunch of unnecessary gifts (like Gojo) at random times

° Except his gifts are cuter and personalized (unlike Gojo)

° Love language is definitely Acts of Service and Quality Time

° He just loves seeing you happy and safe and that's all that really matters to him at this point.

° Honest to God, brags about how cute you are to anybody who'd listen: his friends, his teachers, your pets, somebody's child, random pictures YOU NAME IT

° Takes you to the movies afterwards (he looked for good movies with the help of Junpei (😭💕))

° Somehow ate 3 (full size) plates of food at the cafe before you had to ask him, "HOW DID YOU EAT ALL THAT? ARE YOU OJAY??? YUJI ITS BEEN 15 MINUTES SINCE WE SAT DOWNNN!!??!??!!"

° Gives you a soft kiss on the hand and then cheek once you get home

° Your name is filled with hearts and stars on his contacts bc it's cute

Fushiguro Megumi:

° He didn't know how much was too much so he took you for a cute park-picnic date

° He makes sure to bring lots of water and fresh fruit because its midday.

° He also brought (favorite cake flavor) to share <3

° Likes to look at all the dogs he sees and tell you everything he knows about them

° He blushes so hard when you compliment/flirt with him (if you dyed his hair he'd look like a damn tomato)

° (my headcanon) He talks about how he'd like to be a veterinarian when he gets older because he doesn't want animals to live the same life he lived at one point

° His point blank resting glare scares off anyone who tries to talk to the both of you

° Keeps getting the sneaking suspicion that Itadori, Nobara and Gojo are talking about him (he got really irritated at one point, that's how he knows)

° Has the cutest giggles when a bee lands near your nose

° Brings butterfly/dinosaur charms for you because he thinks you look cute when you talk about them.

° Leaves the picnic area better than he found it because he's just responsible like that

° Takes you too a pretty garden area where he gifts you (favorite flower)

° Kisses your hand goodbye (I faint)

° Told his classmates and teacher that the date was nice and nothing else (💀)

° Your contact has a picture he secretly took of you and thought was cute

Kento Nanami

° The epitome of class

° I swear he just keeps raising the damn bar

° Picks you up in the late afternoon/ evening

° Dinner at a nice restaurant (I think it's French/Louisianan cuisine)

° He bought a present for you because he saw it on the way to his car to pick you up

° A nice walk to set up for a good conversation

° He made sure that everything was so perfect, found a great path (walkable in flats/heels) that you can see the stars when you look up

° Calls you - My Lady - (see that capitalization?)

° Wanted to bust out in his singing voice when he heard MCR playing from somewhere (he's a diehard fan at heart and we all know it)

° Very excited to tell you about how much he likes bread (he prefers fresh made over store bought and loves to laugh at the silly designs on his sourdough)

° Almost choked on his spit when he thought he saw Satoru somewhere but it turned out to be flowers or sum.

° It was Satoru, he wanted to be a nosy bat and see what Nanami was doing since the couldn't annoy him today

° Very attentive to little details when you describe things things you (dis)like so he can be ready for future dates

° In his bag he definitely has chapstick, a notepad (he's so orderly), some mints and he made sure to pack a pair of slippers for you just in case your feet hurt at any point

° He's such a gentleman and he's so nice and respectful to the servers during dinner

° Makes sure to walk you to your door once he gets you home safely

° Puts a 💕 next to your name in his contacts.

° (Gojo is called 'The Annoying One 🤞😒' in his contacts, the only other one with emojis)

Inumaki Toge

° This chronically online ass mfker.

° He challenged you to a Fortnite battle

° It's a gaming date.

° So much mogging. You hit him with a 🗿🔥🐺 and he got quiet

° SALMONNN!!! 😭😭🙏

° POLLACK ROE 😤😡😤😤

° Rice 💕🥰😚😍

° MUSTARD LEAF¿¿‽‽!!¿??

° Then Super Smash Bros™

° Soon y'all we're laughing your asses off at the villager prisons on your newly created Minecraft server.

° The unhealthiest amount of junk food known to man kind

° I'm convinced he consumes Redbull and gummy bears like water and air.

° When a creep kept pressing you on the internet he took over as your big strong man (he's shorter than 5'9, I checked 💀😭)

° Legit kept calling himself The Skibidi Alpha Pack Leader™ and how much he want (the creep) to join his gang of Loners™

° Uses (🗿🙏🗣️🗿🌶️💬🥇📢🩼🎯🍃🐺🌘) religiously and unironically

° In all seriousness he does love you though. He's so glad he has someone he can laugh with and talk to (using text to speech- ofc it's set to Gigachad Voice)

° Absolutely the best at lifting you up when your sad because you humor has been marinated in the TikTok algorithm and is peak

° When he calls he uses facetime so you can see his reactions and his eyelashes that are always on fleek

° He passes little notes to you when he can't express his words through ingredients: "Your laugh is pretty <3",,, "That (game)skin is so cute, it goes well with your weapon",,, "Thank you for coming out with me, I like you a lot<333"

° Afterwards he gifts you little trinkets from when we was at the mall one time.

וװDid you like it?°×•× וװGot requests/recommendations?°×•×

*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*