#god what a stellar episode

[anyosu]

they match <33

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ACTUALLY I'LL MISS THEM 😭😭😭💖💖💖💕💕💕

[funk-forest]

WHAAAAAAAAAAAT WAS THAT SEASON????

HOLYYYYYYY STARS I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'VE JUST WATCHED

AMAZING. INCREDIBLE. UNBELIEVABLE.

WOW. JUST WOW.

[flugame-mp3]

SEASON NINE FINALE WAS WILD. I HAVE MANY MANY THOUGHTS. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER FOR SURE

[curiositykilledtheradiostar]

Broke: TMA is a workplace comedy

Woke: Stellar Firma is a horror podcast

[qilingxiong]

alright, ji chen as hei xiazi lives in my head now and he's here to stay

[thesmithsbackyard]

another thing i love about this show is how they'll set something up and then hold off on switching expectations or a punchline until the last. possible. second.

sometimes it's a one liner. like one time stan says "the only thing i want to hear right now is the sweet sound of this Nickelback cd cracking as i drive over it repeatedly" and sometimes it's the final third act twist. like one time. stan crashes his car into hayley and smushes her against the wall and it's bloody and gross and the doctor says. her organs are being held in by the car. and stan says. then she only has 12 months to live. 'cause that's when his lease is up. then he cries over her and apologizes and oh no it's gross and sad but then Nah Actually she's fine. he never hit her, he was hallucinating. Classic. Good shit.

there's also enough variance on this kind of thing where it's not the only joke going on. like sometimes the weird or awful thing set up actually does happen! in this other episode. Stan's weirded out that Francine has had so many previous lovers. so she convinces him to have sex with someone else to see how meaningless it can be. and you're led to see that he gets into it with another lady and might actually get with her. until he has doubts. then he reconciles with francine. theeeen he reveals he actually did sleep with her. five times! to make sure each time was consistently meaningless. the scratch marks on his back are a testament to his love for [francine.] lol

or there's a barrage of little bits happening so you miss it the first time and then the second or third time seeing the ep it's like oh I See What They Did There. to put my Pretentious Hat on, that shows a level of confidence and trust. confidence to pull that off and trust that people are gonna stick around to see the twist. it's me. i'm the only person

[maraczeks]

newsroom rw thread pt 2

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

Gaara is truly the Character of All Time

-Introduced as main antagonist in a tournament arc, the terrifying bloodthirsty ninja from a strange desert village who kills without remorse and has survived every mission without getting a scratch on him

-He's 12

-Character design 10/10 he has bright fucking brick red hair, literal raccoon eyes, a face tattoo that says "Love" and carries that weird ass gourd; between the fun elements and the interesting tie-ins to Tanuki Lore, I have never seen a more charming design in my life tbqh

-Immediately more emo and chuuni than Noted Emo Heartthrob Sasuke Uchiha by virtue of reciting weird poetry after killing a guy in cold blood

-We get his tragic backstory and by fucking GOD is it sad. I cry just thinking about it. Literally everything about it is just horrible and devastating.

-Talk No Jutsu at end of the tournament arc, Gaara realizes that he should, in fact, go to therapy and immediately decides to turn his life around

-The first thing he decides to do is apologize to his siblings <3

-Shows up a handful of arcs later with a cool new outfit and becomes friends with the kid he literally tried to murder and nearly permanently crippled in one of the best fights of the entire series

-Liam O Brian's English dub of Gaara is Stellar ya know what. The raspiness of the original appearance morphing into the Deepest Voice That Any Kid Has Ever Had Ever was a genuinely hilarious choice

-Has the only good filler arcs in the old show; he's such a good character that the entire show molds itself and rises to meet him

-Post timeskip he is Desert Ninja President at the ripe old age of 15 and is extremely good at it because he's the weirdest little nerd with no social skills (on account of his tragic backstory) and diligently applies himself to doing paperwork and going to meetings

-Has a fanclub in the village mostly of girls his own age that he never seems to talk to?? Or realize have crushes on him?? Oblivious king we love him.

-Dies in one of the most genuinely moving scenes. Comes back like 20 episodes of fighting later because where would we be without him honestly?

-Becomes Super General Ninja President of the Grand Army of whatever where he accomplishes such feats as forgiving his asshole father and emotionally healing from his childhood trauma, stopping a meteor, and nearly dying a second time.

-Collects cacti as a hobby

-Has the only good sequel series arc where it's revealed that in addition to continuing to serve as Desert Ninja President, he's decided to adopt a couple of orphan ninja kids so that he can break the cycle of parental neglect and stupidity that created his tragic backstory in the first place.

[fangirl-writes]

Exes and Ohs

JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader; Ex-Rafe Cameron x Reader; John B. x Sister!Reader

Warnings(s): female reader, swearing, violence, implied physical abuse (JJ’s dad), harassment

Request: Hiii<3 can I request a fanfic about yn being john bs sister dating jj and having rafe as her ex???ok so i was thinking maybe at a party rafe could be flirting with yn (because he’s obsessed with her ) and jj notices and they fight but it ends with rafe telling jj to keep you safe. Thanks<3

Notes: I put this taking place during the Midsummer’s episode of season 1. I don’t think this is exactly what you were looking for but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Your brother had roped you into a lot of stupid things in your lifetime, but this was starting to feel like the stupidest.

“John B, what the fuck are we doing?” You asked as he and JJ pulled the HMS Pogue onto shore.

“I told you, Y/N, I’ve got a plan,” he replied.

“Care to share with the class what it is?”

“You just gotta trust me on this,”

“The last time I trusted you, I ended up on the receiving end of a gun,” You said.

If he heard you, he gave you no indication, just marched through the grass with you and JJ in tow, bags slung over both their shoulders.

“I need you to get this to Sarah,” John B. said, passing JJ a note.

“Ooh, can I read it?”

“No, you can’t read it.”

“Who’s Vlad?”

“God, do you ever listen?”

“Hold up, are you macking Sarah Cameron?” JJ asked.

“I’m sorry, what?” You asked, leaning over JJ’s shoulder to read the note.

“Would you shut up?” John B. replied, blushing in the darkness.

“You’re making Sarah Cameron!” JJ exclaimed, incredulous.

“All right, man. Look, I’m doing it for everybody, all right?”

“You’re macking Sarah Cameron for everybody?” You said.

“No that’s not what I- look, it’s just...it’s like a business transaction, okay?”

“Classy,” you said and then silence, the judgement thick in the air.

“What?” John B. asked.

“Nothing,” JJ replied first, stopping and dropping his bag on the sand. “Thanks for being a team player, bro.”

“JJ-”

“Hey, I didn’t say I wanted to mack Sarah Cameron, that’s all him,” he replied to you, throwing his white button up over his shoulders.

The conversation trickled out as John B. swung the tie around JJ’s neck and did it for him.

You made a mental note to bring this up with your brother again later and pulled off your tank top. You were wearing your swimsuit beneath it and tossed a (f/c) sundress over the top of it, discarding your shorts after it settled.

“So, I just give this to Sarah?” JJ asked, clarifying.

“Yes, just give it to Sarah,” John B. confirmed.

“Vlad? Really?” JJ mused, adjusting the bowtie.

“Shut up. Y/N, I’m gonna need you to distract Rafe.”

“Woah, what? Hold up. No,” JJ protested, frowning deeply.  “No way I’m letting Rafe anywhere near her.”

You rolled your eyes. Rafe was your ex-boyfriend who’d been less than a stellar partner while you were going out. He was obsessive, cruel, and manipulative. Not to mention a classist and a drug addict. 

It was only after you broke up with him that you realized how awful he’d been treating you.

Pro-tip: when your close friends and family tell you how shitty your boyfriend is, chances are pretty good that they’re right.

You stuffed your clothes in JJ’s bag.

He, of course, was your knight-in-shining armor. JJ was your shoulder to cry on and you were his. You two haven’t been dating long, but it feels a hundred percent better than any of the time you were with Rafe.

JJ treats you like a person. Rafe treated you like a trophy.

“Look, JJ, it’s just until you can get the note to Sarah and get out then Y/N can walk away.”

“You really think he’s just gonna let her walk away? Fat chance.”

“JJ, really?” You said, pulling the gun out of his bag.

“Yes, really,” JJ replied. “Especially now.”

“If you get caught with that thing in a pinch you’re going to jail,” John B. said, snatching the pistol out of your hands.

“Fine,” JJ said, pulling off his cap and tossing it to you. “But if Rafe gets handsy I’m coming back for it.”

“You won’t have to worry about that if you just give the note to Sarah and do nothing else to draw attention to yourself,” you said, shoving JJ’s hat into his bag and standing up.

“Ah, come on Y/N, you know me,” he said. “Completely inconspicuous.”

“Not exactly the word I would use,” You replied, about to take his hand.

But John B. caught your arm first. “Hey, I know this is going to suck for you, but this is for us...for dad.”

Your face was stoic and you didn’t meet his eyes. The gold was the thing your father had been searching for before he disappeared, the thing he thought he’d found. If there was even the slightest chance you two could get it...

“I’ll be fine,” you replied, making eye contact with him and smiling. “I can handle him.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” your brother replied, letting go of your arm.

You turned to JJ who smiled and held out his arm, “My lady.”

You smiled again, real this time, and took his arm. You could always rely on JJ to make you feel better.

“Hey,” John B. said, causing the two of you to look back at him. “No funny business in there all right? I expect you in and out. Got it?”

“Don’t worry I won’t bang your sister in a kook bathroom or anything.”

“JJ!”

“Even though that’s a bucket list item for me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as JJ tugged you forward, quickening his pace before John B. could either tackle him or throw something.

Up ahead, the midsummers party was in full swing. It was twilight, the outer banks cloaked in a hazy blue, and the building glowed with yellow light that sparkled against the kooks’ fancy jewelry.

Both Pope and Kiara were in there somewhere, no doubt hating their lives and if nothing else, you thought, at least this would probably get them out of it.

“Ready?” JJ asked you as you approached the building.

“As I’ll ever be.” You replied, breaking off from him.

“Hey,” JJ stopped you before you could go. “Seriously, if Rafe tries anything I’ll be right there, okay?”

You smiled, pulling him in for a kiss before saying, “I’ve got this. Rafe’s not stupid enough to try anything here.”

JJ didn’t look convinced but let you go anyway.

You disappeared around another side of the building, just close enough to hear JJ before he entered the party.

“I keep finding glasses halfway down the beach. Do me a favor, try to keep ‘em corralled, will ya? I thought you were security.”

You bit back a laugh and snuck through a side door, headed for a bathroom to touch up your hair and hopefully find some perfume to cover up the smell of marsh.

You slid into the bathroom, which was probably the nicest one you’d ever been in. It had vanity lights over each sink, a lounge area with full length mirrors, and soap that smelled like roses.

You dropped your clutch on the counter, pulling out your travel brush and raking it through your hair. You did your best impression of a kook’s basic makeup routine with some added glitter and called it a day, only having so much time.

You slid everything half-hazardly back into your bag and headed for the door only to be knocked in the face with it.

“Oh my god I’m so sorr- Y/N?”

“Kie!” You said, sighing with relief. “Have you got any perfume with you?”

“What? Why? What’re you doing here?”

“John B.’s got a plan. We’re back in the gold game.”

Kiara looked like you’d just told her pigs were flying. “You’re as crazy as John B. I’m not dealing with this right now-”

“Kie, wait, wait, wait!” You pleaded, moving in front of her before she could escape. “I don’t know what the plan is, but I have faith in John B. He has to do this...we have to do this. For our dad.”

Kiara looked like she was about to tell you off, but instead she sighed. “Fine. What do you need to do?”

“Well, JJ’s delivering a note to Sarah so I’m supposed to distract Rafe while he does so. Which, knowing JJ, he’s probably already in position so I need to get out there.”

“Wait, you’re distracting Rafe?” 

“Hopefully not for long, if everything goes right.” You replied, trying to leave again.

“Wait, here,” she pulled out a little vial of perfume and spritzed it on you. "You did kind of smell like marsh water.”

“Thanks. How do I look?”

“Like a kook,” Kiara confirmed. “Let’s hit it.”

JJ spotted you and Kie as you approached the crowd. He motioned with his head and you followed it to where Rafe was standing with Kelce and some other kook guys.

You nodded back at him.

He gave you one last worried look before turning his back and heading towards Sarah.

“Wish me luck,” you said to Kiara before heading that direction.

“Rafe!” You said, sweetly, causing the boys to turn.

Rafe was like a deer in headlights, mouth dropping open at the sight of you. “Y/N? What’re you doing here?”

You chuckled. “Kiara invited me as her plus one. I wanted to see some of my old kook friends again.���

“Did you now?” Rafe replied, falling back into his asshole role as he stuck one hand in his suit pocket and gestured with the other. “Cause I’m pretty sure the last time we spoke you told me you never wanted to see me or any of my upper class bitches again.”

You clenched your jaw under your smile. “I was in a bad mood. Usually happens when you catch your boyfriend snorting coke through wads of cash. Got any of the white stuff in your system tonight?”

“As a matter of fact, I don’t.”

“Good. Your dad would probably castrate you, not that there’s much to take.”

Rafe’s smirk dropped momentarily as a chorus of ‘ooh’s went around the group of boys.

“Funny. I don’t remember you complaining when I took your virginity.”

You blushed. More oohs.

“Funny. I don’t remember it at all.”

“Oh, yeah? How about I remind you?”

You pulled a face, façade dropping. “Fuck you, Cameron.”

“Well, if you insist,” he replied, taking a step forward and a flash of fear jolted through you before-

“Oh! Sorry about that guys.”

You let out a breath of relief as JJ stepped between you, effectively dumping a cocktail down the front of Rafe’s suit.

“I was just trying to deliver that mai tai you ordered. But, really, I’d say this is an improvement. I mean the wetness really shows off that nonexistent dick you’ve got.”

“Nice of you to join us, JJ,” Rafe said, recovering and grabbing him by the shirt. 

“Well, no time to talk now, I’m on the clock,” JJ said, always a better liar than you. “Maybe we can catch up later, huh? Until then, how about you guys help yourself to some hors d’oeuvres?”

“Funny, you’d show up right now. Just when your girlfriend was about to dump your ass and get back together with me.”

“Was she now?” JJ asked, looking at you.

You grimaced and shook your head.

“Ah, well, the lady refutes your story. Always believe the victim.”

“Victim? Oh no, she’s anything but that. She came waltzing over here in that little dress ready to stir up trouble,” Rafe said. “She wanted to cheat on you, pogue. What’ve you got to offer?”

"Well, you know that’s the funny thing-”

BAM. JJ’s fist connected with Rafe’s nose and he broke free of the hold, grabbing your hand and racing through the crowd of kooks.

“Thank god for you, JJ Maybank,” you said.

“Never should’ve let you near those dicks anyway. Should’ve just taken my chances on my own. I could take them.”

“Well, you might get your chance because they’re following us.”

“Fucking swell.”

You and JJ zipped through the lobby, stirring all of the fancy kooks to stand and watch the commotion. 

“Sorry! Sorry! Lovely dress!” You shouted as you passed people.

“Hey, JJ, come on!” Rafe yelled from behind you. “We just wanna talk, alright?”

JJ ducked into the nearest bathroom, taking you along with him.

“JJ, I can’t be in here!” You protested as he drug you through the men’s restroom. 

Where there were men.

“Ah, excuse me, guys,” JJ said, rattling the door handles on the stalls.

Shit, it probably did look like JJ was trying to bang you in a kook bathroom.

“Just really gotta go,” he said, cursing to himself when they were all occupied.

He squeezed your hand and tried to duck through the locker room, only to be cut off by Rafe. 

“Hey, man, what’re you doing in the locker room, huh?”

He immediately turned around and tried to head the way he came, but you were surrounded.

“JJ!” You shouted as a kook knocked him backwards, his hand slipping from yours as you stumbled into two boys behind you.

“Wow, that’s a cute outfit,” JJ said, stumbling into Rafe.

“Shut up,” Rafe replied.

The two kooks gripped your arms, causing you to cry out.

“Hey!” JJ said, trying to come to your aid, only to be grabbed and put into a headlock by Kelce.

“I know your not classy, JJ, but trying to fuck your girlfriend in a men’s bathroom?” Rafe clicked his tongue. “Now that’s just uncivilized. Y/N should be treated better.”

He caressed your cheek with one hand and touched parts you couldn’t defend with the other. You tried to bite him. “Fuck you!”

“God, you hear this guys? She really wants to get in my pants. Just obsessed with me,” Rafe adjusted his jacket and smirked as he turned back to JJ, who was still struggling against Kelce and fuming. “Now, as for you.”

JJ flailed and fought, but Kelce was stronger.

“Hold him still. What do you think? A four iron, right?” Rafe said, adjusting his hands like he was holding a golf club. “Keep his head still, I’m gonna line this up.”

“Very Rafe of you, Rafe,” JJ spat, struggling to breath. “Five on one?”

“JJ, stop talking,” you pleaded.

“Listen to the lady, JJ,” Rafe replied, smirking. “It’s very disrespectful when I’m trying to hit a ball. Learn your etiquette my friend.”

You struggled against the kook boys, but you were terrified. This was your worst nightmare, being helpless like this. And if they somehow hurt JJ and got you by yourself...

“Rafe, please, leave him alone!” You begged.

“Oh, the time for pleading is over, sweetheart,” He replied, not even looking at you. “You made your choice.

Fuck. John B. was going to get an earful from you for this. All because he had a hard on for Sarah Cameron. 

Rafe leaned down to get a better look at JJ. “And what a choice it was. Your face looks really bad. Starting to look like your dad a lot more.”

JJ spit in his face.

Rafe laughed, wiping it away with ease, looking almost impressed. “Oh, shit! You see how dirty this pogue, is, Y/N?”

The lights started flickering and you let out a sigh of relief as security entered the room.

“Gentlemen,” he said.

Kelce dropped JJ and pushed him away. You ran to him immediately, checking him over, but he assured you he was fine and focused on the security guard.

“Is there a problem here, guys?”

“Oh! Pardon me, officer. No there’s not an issue, I just-” JJ said before starting over. “Actually, yes. No, there is an issue.”

JJ Maybank. Always quick on his feet.

“Uh, we got a criminal trespass in progress here. Beep! Call it in, right? Blatant disrespect for private property,” JJ said.

The kooks looked like they wanted to react, but they wouldn’t so they wouldn’t get in trouble with their daddies.

“And! And I tried to screw this fine young lady-” JJ grabbed your arms gently, pulling you forward. You smiled awkwardly. “In this here bathroom. As you can see, I’m in violation of all kinds of shit, sir. But these young gentleman...”

JJ straightened Kelce’s collar, who immediately pushed him off.

“...uh, caught me, sir, and they’re about to take me away. And that’s what you should do, escort me outta here. All right.”

The officer, not caring enough to refute JJ’s bullshit (but brilliant) of a story, did as requested and led JJ out of the room. You quickly followed.

“Fix that tie, son,” JJ said, one last quip. “You’re lookin’ spiffy, too. You Powerpuff Girls have fun.”

“Better keep that girl of yours safe, JJ,” Rafe yelled back. “Or I’ll remind her how a real man feels.”

“JJ, don’t!” You said but he’d already ripped himself away and went back to fight.

Thankfully, the security guard was there to separate them all again.

JJ was spiraling, fast. You could see it in the way he stumbled as the security guy led him back outside. He was practically slurring as he assured the guard he could walk on his own.

“Let me just walk out by myself. Oh, Mr. Dunleavy, I see that you got your drink. Good, that’s really nice of you. I’m actually gonna down that,”

He did as he said he would and downed the drink (whiskey, presumably).

“Y/N, you want one? Here’s Mrs. Dunleavy’s. Little wine for you,” he handed you the glass and, desperately needing a drink, you swallowed it as fast as you could.

“Sorry, sir,” the guard said, ushering JJ away. 

“I really appreciate the discretion, Daryl,” JJ said. “It’s okay everybody! Do not panic!”

You couldn’t help but smile as you watched JJ (in his own way) ruin the party.

“Leave it to the men and women in uniform. Let’s hear it for them!” He started clapping and you started laughing. “Rose! You look like Lady Liberty. It’s good to see you again.”

“Let go of him.” Kiara demanded.

You cringed. Damn it. Kiara’s scene would be much more righteous and way less funny.

“You can’t just boot him! I invited him,” Kiara said. “I’m a member of this club.”

“And what about her?” Daryl (the security) asked.

“Oh, she can plus one with me, if she’s good,” Rafe said, smiling wickedly.

You wanted to vomit.

JJ, having enough, shoved Daryl back into a table.

“Sorry about that! And Y/N,” He said before dipping you into a kiss, which you happily returned.

When he put you back upright you were a little dazed and surprised by the action, but not upset.

Rafe looked upset.

That made you smile.

“Hey, mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, Kie,” JJ said. “Pope, you as well, all right?”

“Rixon’s cove. Let’s roll,” You said, sliding your hand into JJ’s.

You and JJ were high on trauma. And you didn’t give a fuck. 

You backed out of there like you owned the place.

John B., who had somehow slipped in unnoticed here at the end, greeted the two of you with a celebratory whoo-hoo.

“Colonel,” JJ said, saluting.

“Captain,” John B. replied. “M’lady.”

You mock curtsied.

“Mission accomplished, sir,” JJ said.

“Good, let’s get the hell out of here,” John B. replied.

You jumped on JJ’s back as Pope and Kiara joined you, all of your spirits rising as you disappeared into the darkness of OBX. 

“Later losers!”

And that was that.

You went to Rixon’s Cove, John B. finally spilled the beans about the gold and Sarah Cameron (well, not all the beans with that one, you were sure of that).

Now you were waiting in the van with Kie, Pope, and JJ while your brother hiked up to the Kildare Hawk’s Nest to get a map from Sarah. Which was even stupider than the plan beforehand.

Mostly because Kie was pissed, JJ was smoking weed to cope, Pope was stressed about getting caught, and it was about to start thunderstorming any second.

“Kiara, holding onto your grudge is like drinking poison and thinking Sarah will die,” Pope said.

“Exactly.” JJ agreed. “Unless its Rafe Cameron who threatened to rape your girlfriend. Then the grudge is justified.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Kiara said, momentarily forgetting about John B. and Sarah to be concerned about you.

You shrugged. “It’s not that big of deal. He’s an asshole. And he didn’t explicitly mention rape-”

“I can’t believe John B. made you face him yourself,” she said, a look of disgust crossing her face.

Ope, she’s circling back.

“I said I would, okay?”

“That doesn’t excuse it, it was his idea-”

“Kie, can we not right now, okay? You’re just pissed at him anyway,” you said.

She frowned but dropped it.

You laid your head on your boyfriend’s shoudler. “JJ saved me, as usual.”

“Ah, it was nothing, just a little alcohol to break up the party,” JJ replied.

“Wait, what exactly happened?” Pope asked.

“Well,” JJ said, ready to spin into a story of the night’s events. “Good ol’ Rafe was going to make a move on Y/N, but luckily I was right there to swoop in with a glass of...what was it a mai tai? I don’t know, but I dumped it all down the front of Rafe’s suit and started apologizing and shit, you know the good lies. Then he said some more shit about Y/N so I popped him in the nose - pop - and took Y/N’s hand and ran off. Rafe and Kelce followed us-”

“Wait, do you guys hear that?” Kie interrupted, sitting up and looking out into the darkness.

Thunder crashing was all you heard before-

“Please, somebody help!”

“Oh, wait no, I hear that,” JJ said.

“Shit.”

The four of you bailed out of the van immediately and started heading toward the voice.

When you got to the hawk’s nest, John B. was on the ground and Sarah was crouched over him.

“Oh my god!” You cried out, running over there with the others in tow.

“Sarah, what happened?” Pope asked.

You slid on your knees next to your brother.

“I don’t know what to do. He needs help, Topper shoved him,” she said.

A fire ignited in JJ. “Where the hell is he?”

You leaned down and put your ear to his chest, his heart beat and you let out a sigh of relief.

“Someone call somebody!” You shouted, looking at your three friends. “911 or something, go!”

Pope took off first and JJ knelt next to you. “He’s gonna be okay, okay?”

Tears welled up in your eyes. “Come on, John B. You’re all I’ve got left. I can’t lose my brother to.”

“Pope come on!” 

JJ wrapped an arm around your shoulders as you cried. Not him. Not John B. Not after everything.

“JJ,” you whispered later when John B. was in a hospital bed with a concussion and broken wrist. “Don’t leave me...”

“Never,” He whispered back. “I’ll never leave you.”

This was up there for probably the worst night of your life. Maybe worse than the night your dad disappeared and Rafe was snorting coke on a coffee table while you were crying your eyes out.

But JJ was here now, just like he was then. Holding you like his life depended on it.

And Pope and Kiara were there, too, for a while, until Ward Cameron made the adult decision to call their parents.

He didn’t have JJ’s dad’s number, not that he’d have answered if he did. 

So JJ stayed with you all night.

He was there when Sheriff Peterkin made you tell her the truth. The whole truth.

And you did.

Well, most of the truth.

The gold was still your little secret.

“I’d like to offer you something, Y/N,” Ward said that morning. “I’ll tell your brother, too, when he wakes up.”

You eyed the man warily and exchanged a look with JJ, who squeezed your hand.

“Okay...”

“I’d like to be your legal guardian, if you’ll have me.”

Your eyes widened slightly.

“I heard what you told the sheriff, and Sarah filled me in a bit, but I know how hard you kids have had it. I’d like to give you a roof over your head and meals on the table,” He continued. “And this way, you and John B. wouldn’t have to be seperated.”

The tears were starting to come back to your eyes. “I-I don’t know what John B.’ll say, but if he’s in, I’m in.”

Ward smiled. “Sounds good, kid. We’ll let you know when he’s awake.”

He stood up and went to go talk to the doctors about something or other (probably the bill you couldn’t afford without him) and you sat a little stunned.

“Your gonna go live with the Camerons?” JJ asked, quietly.

“Yeah, I...I guess I am.”

JJ squeezed your hand again. “But what about Rafe?”

You felt like a bucket of water had been dumped over you. Fuck. Rafe.

“He...he won’t be dumb enough to try anything while John B.’s there. And- And his dad is the one taking us in. He worships his dad...we’ll be fine.”

JJ’s jaw tightened and he kissed your temple. “Sneak me in your window?”

You nodded. “Every night. And you can bang me in a kook bathroom now.”

He laughed quietly, but you felt his chest rumble. It made you smile.

JJ would keep you safe. He promises it with every touch.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

It's the penultimate episode... so many feelings. *wistful sigh*

Wait, the Matt Mick thing is actually happening? Lolol.

BUT WHO IS GOING TO KISS BEER?!?! Boy is doomed to keep being the witness to all these gay shenanigans, he needs his own boyfie! Papang, still time for a cameo...

Q, you are turning into quite the smooth romantic...

I love that they tease Q about having a romantic moment when both Chain & Mick are keeping a constant hand on their boys, and Tan literally can't stand upright without holding onto Fang.

Six minutes in and I'm already dying.

Also Poon, Satang, & Boom living the dream, getting to feed cute little penguins for work.

Omg, Chain! You need to walk up to him and say "I like you!". (Also yes, I acknowledge as an American I have a strong bias on what counts as direct communication, lol. But the point still stands that Pun needs it right in his face to get it).

But also, please, yes, do a penguin dowry.

Also, it is funny to me that Tan, who has been pretty oblivious to every other couple's feelings, has picked up on Chain. Which shows how everyone knows but Pun.

I know I've said this pretty much every time, but I just adore how this show keeps showing that they are all friends with each other, it's never just about the couples.

Aw, Pun asking for snugs. Ooh - is Pun actually starting to get it?

Q literally can't see anything else when Toey is around, my heart.

You know, I think Toey still doesn't quite grasp how deeply Q loves him... it was one-sided for so long, he's still catching up on what it feels like to be cared for back. Don't worry boo, you'll get there.

Ok, was not expecting this! But I am here for it!

I also have to point out, in my obsession with what this show is doing with tropes, that Toey is the closest we get to a blushing maiden in this show, and he may be shy and inexperienced, but he still gets to enjoy sex. Excellent.

Lol, Phum does not have to be told twice he has a green light. Dude has been waiting since day one for this.

Gotta say though, the TanFang scene was still the hottest. AouBoom are so ready to be leads.

I love that Fang 100% knew Tan would come find him and demand kisses.

Lol, it's handy being friends with your boyfriends brother, you can get the intel.

Why does Pond holding a teddy bear always make me so weak?

Oh god, not the sad puppy noises.

I love that the most implausible part of this plan is Tan not being free for Fang.

Phum is so happy, I'm going to cry.

Lol, of course Beer already gave him a gift, he is the one who is always ahead of everyone else!

Swoon. Just swoon.

I love how they are communicating about Peem going to meet Phum's family. It's so lovely to have a couple who actually talk about things.

And this!

I know there will be people in the tags flipping out if Phum forgives his dad, but this is his story and his journey. It's not about if it resonates with every viewer, it's about Phum figuring out what he needs to move on with his life, whether that includes forgiveness or not.

Another stellar costume choice.

Also Tan making Fang wear pink, lol. He's going to show that love dammit!

Omg, not the whole group waiting for Pun to admit he likes Chain.

Good boy Chain! Love the confidence!

Perfect use of the festival to show how the love in this entire group has just expanded and deepened over the past year.

Gotta admit, I had some penultimate episode anxiety, but nope! Still fluffy!

[breathingxspace]

Well. This is it. Series finale day.

This show has been a joy to make, and I'm sitting here trying to figure out what I'm supposed to say in wrapping it up.

In thinking about it, I realized that I could go through & yell about every single individual involved with something specific to them, their performances, or their work. And that's a really good feeling-- knowing that regardless as to how large this crew has gotten (and holy shit is it big,) everyone is still stand out, unique, & beautifully talented.

I'm glad to honor that.

I'm not going to do it. But I could. And I think that's cool.

I've discovered I generally have nothing to say at the actual end of a show. I do my yelling as we go. I'm too excitable to wait, and you all do such stellar work, how can I NOT yell when listening?

So. What I'm going to do instead is share some stats.

Because they're frankly really fucking impressive, and y'all should see just how /much/ you've made.

The very first content for BSFF aired on March 13, 2021.

Our very last ep will air Oct 18, 2024.

In that time, we worked with 134 individual cast/crewmembers, including 20 writers, 10 editors, & well over 100 VAs.

We had cast/crew on 5 continents across 9 time zones

There have been a total of 78 individual releases, including episodes, miniseries, & bonus content with a combined runtime of

3,141 minutes

that is- 52 hours, or 2.2 /days/ of continuous Breathing Space material.

So, uh. This has been quite the undertaking.

So many thank yous to everyone who has contributed to the show, and also to everyone who listened.

I hope we've brought you at least a few emotions during the course of our run. God knows we've felt them ourselves.

PS-

While this is the end of BSFF in its current incarnation, there's no way we're leaving The System entirely behind.

Keep an eye on our social media for what comes next.

–ash

[lol-jackles]

I know its beens awhile but what did you think of S15 as a whole?

As a whole I think season 15 was an above-average season due to below-average execution and ended with a stellar series finale that added rewatch value not just for season 15 but also all of 15 seasons.

Season 15 started and ended with callbacks to previous seasons; from season 1's woman in white and Sam's goal of returning to a normal life, to season 5's Dean's time in hell as Alastair's apprentice and bringing closure to Adam Milligan, to season 8's endgames for Sam and Dean.

The first half of the season 15 was about free will vs determinism, with Sam representing the former and Dean representing the latter.  Sam and Dean’s confrontation with God parallels how they've reacted to family and authority their entire lives: Sam challenged God’s Divine decree over His Creation while Dean accused God of abandoning His Creation.  When Abraham spoke with his heart and mind to God over His plan to destroy Sodom & Gomorrah, it led to Abraham transcending himself, leading the way for God, and becoming the father of faith. Metaphorically it's all about lessons in honest, meaningful relationships with our fellow human beings.   People often suppress their true selves and principles for the sake of avoiding conflict instead of taking the relationship a step further into a place of sincerity.   From season 11 to 14, Sam and Dean spoke their hearts and minds to God and the brothers' relationship became at its strongest, never wavering even when occasional arguments sprouts up because they were honest with each other.

Sam and God became connected through Sam's hope which manifested in their identical wounds. Secular-based hope is about anticipating something good to come in the future.  Sam has hope in a better future, so Chuck showed him a bleak future to make his lose that hope.  Once Sam lost his hope, God leaves.  That’s pretty much what happens to people in real life, when they lose hope, they feel there is no God or God abandoned them. Another physical manifestation of a bleak future is Dean's old friend who retired from hunting, Lee, who became so corrupted that Dean is forced to kill him.

The return of Sam and Dean's half-brother, Adam, brings welcome closure.  Adam is not out for revenge as he acknowledged his own culpability for agreeing to vessel-ship in the first place.  Him and Michael only having each other for 10 years in the Cage led to their codependent-symbiotic-ish relationship that parallels Sam and Dean to some extent.  

I like to call the second half of season 15 the "Dean redemption tour" where side characters were used to address Dean's unresolved issues in order for him to be good enough for Sam in their eternal afterlife. Normally whenever Dean interacted with side characters it is about the side characters, not Dean (see example here and here). But when the formula is reversed, it becomes a bit disjointed, and the audience picked up on it. The final redemption act target Dean's anger issues that both Amara and Chuck discussed.

Chuck: This is my ending.  My real ending. 

Very next scene: *Dean pulls a gun on Sam*

Dean’s been so obsessed with having free will that he’s actually following Chuck’s writing.  As usual Sam broke through to Dean, in effect breaking Chuck’s influence. Then a very mad mad Chuck shows up.

Chuck:  “Are you kidding me? After all that, you did it again!”

Then 15x18 happened. Ignoring the hilarity of that scene, the speech was supposed to remind the general audience that Dean is A HERO before he dies two episodes later. By 15x19, free will vs determinism comes to a conclusion.   Michael and Lucifer betrayed the Winchesters and succumb to determinism, fulfilling their destiny to destroy each other.  Sam and Dean manipulated Michael to lure Chuck into a trap to replace him with a new God, Jack. Chuck is left only with human frailties and for the first time Chuck has no idea what happens next, bringing the free will theme to a full circle.  

Due to interactions with Sam, Rowena became the new queen of Hell while Jack becomes the new God of Heaven. Jack promises Sam that He will have a hands-off approach and people don’t need to pray or sacrifice to Him. Jack’s perception of humanity is distilled down to, “When people have to be their best, they can be.” 

Before the story ends, the protagonist is supposed to accomplish their primary goal that had kept them driven and move the story forward.  Sam’s goal was attaining normal life, it was never about eradicating monsters to extinction or avenging his mother’s death.  In fiction it always seems like the main character want many things, but there is always a primary goal.  Harry Potter gets dragged into many subplots such as conflicts with his best friends, romantic misfires, and incidents with secondary characters, however his main goal was always to defeat Voldemort and that's what the audience is holding out to see.  Sam Winchester’s journey is flipped from Harry Potter’s; Sam gets dragged into many subplots of saving the world, defeating the Big Baddies, and conflicts with his brother, however his main goal was always to have a chance at a normal life. But this can't happen while Dean is still alive.

Dean has everything he wanted: Sam and hunting.  Dean is a complete person; he doesn’t need anything else. But Sam had given up just about everything so that Dean wouldn’t be alone. 15x16 reminded the audience that Sam wanted out of the hunting life since he was a child. Sure, Sam is very good at his job and even became a leader, but they always made sure to show that Sam doesn’t have passion for the family business other than saving people’s lives.  Claire Novak shows way more enthusiasm for the job. But Dean would never retire from the hunting life.  Even when Michael gave Dean a fantasy life, Dean still conjured up monsters so he can fight and kill them.  As long as Dean is alive, Sam will never be free to pursue a normal life.  Think back to Dean's speech in season 8 telling Sam to pursue his normal life only after Dean dies with a gun in his hand and a smile on his face.

The pivotal barn scene in the 15x20 finale was genius, bringing the series to full circle with callback to the pilot, fleshing it out, adding backstory to Dean’s pov that brings his fear, need, relief, and love to stark relief.  It hurt like hell, and at the same time, cathartic because Dean was honest.   The way Dean said, “Come here. Let me look at you. There he is!”  That’s Dean in dad mode, the parental figure to Sam.  The show reminded the audience in 15x18 that Dean raised his little brother.  Still in dad mode, Dean then tells Sam that he is proud of him.  It’s what every son wants to hear from their dad.

Dean then goes into brother mode and tells Sam he admires his strength even when they were children.  Sam’s strength is such that Dean was afraid that Sam doesn’t need him. Fearing rejection, he stood outside of Sam’s dorm for hours before finally going to Sam because it’s always been Sam and Dean, and Dean can’t comprehend if he didn’t have Sam. 

From there Dean gives Sam his blessing to keep living his life.  “I love you so much, my baby brother”. Sam’s reaction was pure and raw, he has always been honest about his wants and needs but craves Dean’s approval to pursue them, and now he has it.  Sam’s faith in Dean went answered with Dean saying how proud he is of Sam, how much he admired Sam’s strength so that Sam knows he is strong enough to go on living without Dean.  

Another reason why the barn scene is genius is the pilot callback sets up Sam and Dean’s reunion in New Heaven as pilot 2.0.  From there they will build their relationship just as Sam and Dean.  They are at peace without monsters disrupting their lives, without vindictive angels disrupting their afterlives, and without childhood angsts weighing them down.  They have both freedom and peace.

This applies to all of the hunters.  Jack’s New Heaven is like a retirement home for hunters where they can enjoy their peace and socialize with their friends and loved ones and even upgrade themselves to the people they were meant to be on earth.

[fanyeline]

maybe i just have f@tt exhaustion & need a break but most of palisade has been incredibly bleak & idk if this post credits ending is going to fix that. let's take a look at where the characters started and "ended" this season

Kalvin Brnine: started unable to talk abt their feelings & with hope that millenium break could change lives. ended unable to talk abt their feelings, estranged 3 important relationships & with a death wish.

Thisbe: started w the idea that they have no freedom. ended with the realization that they have freedom, but also they have an energy thing in them that prevents them from relaxing

The Figure in Bismuth: started w wanting to break free from slavery. Ended up dead.

Phrygian: started w wanting to fight the good fight & end the war. Ended up dead.

Coriolis Sunset: started idealistic & naive. ended up grizzled, chased from planet to planet & having forcibly lost their girlfriend to a contract with a God

from my point of view, if the idea was that they wanted to make a corny, hopeful season, they picked the wrong game from the start. armor astir's pillars are practically undefeatable, that is part of the game.

secondly, the cause VS principality gameplay where the team was split into two groups didn't really work for me. it felt like it created aggression between groups, where both groups wanted to win instead of creating a collaborative story. you can hear austin struggling with this in early episodes of the game against jack & art, and eventually it felt like they just leaned into the opposition between the two groups. This is maybe "fun", but in the end it creates this feeling that there's always a losing side.

secondly part 2, the inclusion of the stellar combuster arc towards the beginning of the season felt super weird, pacing wise. i know we can't always control these things, but overall that whole arc only felt stressful, never fun or rewarding. even when brnine killed the princept, i was just kind of stressed out!

third, i'm not sure the final questlandia game was a great ending game, especially when so many of the character beats couldn't really explored in a system that's talking about kingdom level activities. Besides that, I found the choice of characters to be a little disappointing. Bringing in Levi after figure's death didn't feel like a breath of fresh air, it just felt like 'well who is this guy?'. I felt the same way about Jack's character, August Righteousness. I think either could have played a character we already had a strong connection with. What about Gucci? What about Jesset? How about Mustard Red? Keith bringing back Leap was the right choice, not only bc leap is someone we already cared about but because he's like this incredible force as a character. He is someone who generates change.

fourth, I felt the treatment of Clem as a character was absolutely ridiculous. the immediate dislike and rejection by the cast of an extremely popular character after art brought up playing her felt like it was both disrespecting art as a player and his ability to do a villain justice, and towards the listeners who have been invested in Clem's story since she was a player character in Partizan. It felt like after a certain point, Art had to give up caring about what Clem did or face backlash from the other players! In the last few kingdom episodes, art was going "I mean, whatever, I don't really care" half the time they asked him about what he felt clem would do. And I also found it to be a huge bummer to listen to the players have discourse over Clem.

There's a big difference to me over fandom discourse and players taking part in that discourse. First and foremost, Clem is a character in a story, and while their "what should we do about Clem" discussion should have revolved around how to give her a satisfying character arc, it felt more like they were trying to figure out how to wash their hands of her. I don't really understand how or why the friends soured on Clem so much, and you know what? I get being sick of a character. But having a public discussion about it was really weird, & as a fan, a total bummer to hear.

So yeah, over all I feel really burned out by this season and the decisions they've made. I think it's been a sad time. I don't think it's been fun or goofy for awhile.

Obviously as creators they have a right to do whatever they want with their art, but I can't help but find it disappointing. It feels really different to what they've put out before & I'm having a hard time enjoying this gritty, sad and stressful season.

[halemerry]

Alright, I've had a few people ask for this now so time to take a break from the big draft I’m writing to dig a little deeper on angel rankings in relation to Crowley.

Before we get into it I want to preface this by saying I am not a religious scholar. Like many of us I have a complicated relationship with religion and as a result this stuff was a long time special interest of mine but, as always, take it with a grain of salt.

To be frank, even if I was an expert, I think it’s also important to keep in mind that the Good Omens angel hierarchy has already taken some liberties on its own. It hasn’t been shy about reinterpreting things to suit its needs or about pulling from various sources to establish its own lore. It's definitely its own beast and there's no guarantee the universe operates the same rules that have become the most popular ones.

That all being said, let's get cracking.

So in canon we actually don't know that much about angelic rank. Before season two we knew there were Principalities and Archangels and that's about it. This season decides to give us a little more information. Muriel is a Scrivener (likely they'd fall under the general Angel category) and then we get a nod to Thrones and Dominions being a thing. We also learn there are orders/classes of various ranks.

With the exception of Scrivener which isn't a traditional rank at all as far as I can tell, these ideas all fit under the traditional Christian angel hierarchy.

The most influential version of this hierarchy comes mostly from Dionysius the Pseudo-Areopagite's De Coelesti Hierarchia (On Celestial Hierarchy). He divides angels into three Spheres, with three Orders within each Sphere. The Lowest Sphere contains the orders Angels, archangels (different from Good Omen's Archangels who are at the top of the food chain so to speak), and Principalities. The Middle Sphere contains the orders Powers, Virtues, and Dominions. And then the Highest Sphere contains Thrones, Cherubim, and Seraphim.

Now onto the angel that would become Crowley.

Thanks to us witnessing Crowley opening a document only accessible to Dominions and above, we can eliminate the lower half of these rankings.

This leaves us with Dominions, Thrones, Cherubim, Seraphim and the Good Omen’s version of Archangel.

Dominions are tied to things like regulation. Their job is to keep passions in check and deliver justice and judgment (to be frank these last two are in some capacity apply to most rankings of angel), They’re built to keep ranks beneath them organized and optimize their performances. They’re organizers. They’re functionally middle management and are sometimes known as Lordships. They’re also occasionally tied to the set of angels that destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. 

The really only thing that even kind of suits him here in my opinion is the interacting with lower ranks bit but the vibe doesn't seem quite right with that. Crowley as we know him is not even really a leader even in his own schemes and has a tendency to rely on his considerable talent at improvisation and quite frequently on the cues Aziraphale tends to send him. (We get a stellar example of this dynamic actively in play in Episode 2 this Season). We also know now that the angel in question tended to work alone. He seemed baffled by the concept of Earth, as if it had been a long time since he’d had a check in with Head Office. 

So Thrones are what people tend to think of when you say the phrase Biblically Accurate Angel. They're the wheels with a bunch of eyeballs. They contemplate the power of God and have, you guessed it, ties to justice and judgment but in a more contemplative sort of way. They are associated with peace and submission, except for when they are sometimes also associated with the erelim - a ranking in the Jewish Hierarchy that tends to be more of a warrior class. They're maybe most famously associated with being a part of the chariot that moves God's throne around. They live where material form begins to take shape and are tasked with maintaining cosmic harmony.

Honestly I don't mind this for Crowley. That last bit especially sounds close to what we see him doing. And there's something very fun to me about a former Throne going off and getting himself a big gaudy throne. I’ll admit I have a hard time associating him with something so passive and again I feel like it doesn't quite fit how out of the loop he was about Earth, but this is probably the second favorite option of mine here.

If Thrones are the wheels of God’s Throne then the Cherubim are the ones making those wheels turn. They’re often represented as pushing Thrones about and attending God directly. Their job is to magnify God’s glory and serve as representatives of God’s power. They also, notably, were thought to be the superhumanly strong guards tasked with the protection of Eden.

Because of this we get a very old piece of theory: that Aziraphale was a Cherub who had been demoted. I’ve gone through phases with this theory but I definitely think it’s at a minimum fun to consider. And though I'm hesitant to take any Amazon promotional materials too seriously during the strike, there's a post here they've made recently that refers to Aziraphale as such.

Partially because this theory is so old and so rooted in the lexicon of my headspace for this media, I don't like this for the angel who would become Crowley particularly well. Superhuman strength feels weird in regards to him, as does situating him as a guard of Eden. And even if that line from season 2 where Crowley talks to Beelzebub about scaring that cherubs was talking about young angels and not literal cherubs, it seems like a weird phrasing for someone who was once the other kind of cherub to use. I like this better than Dominions but not nearly as much as Thrones.

Now Seraphim are a little unique. Their primary job tends to get framed as singing praise to God. They seat themselves around God's throne and sing holy, holy, holy at God. Several interpretations of them argue that they are different from angels entirely and only got grouped in with them in later texts like De Coelesti Hierarchia. They purify Isaiah in a vision he has and have strong associations with smoke and heat. They're tied to clarity and purifying via fire and occasionally are thought to help keep the world in order. Interestingly enough the word Seraph comes from saraph which means to burn and Seraphim can be translated as the fiery ones or those who kindle. Saraph is also used in certain contexts to describe a fiery flying serpent.

Now I’ll admit the Seraphim theory was always one of my favorites. If the show hadn’t recently been adding more ticks to the Archangel column I think I’d still probably be in this camp. There's the obvious bits that tie in here like the fire and snake imagery associated with both. But I can't help but to think of how often we get Crowley implying that just maybe God intended what they'd done to be the right thing. Or that scene where Crowley prays on the throne in season 1. He hangs off of it instead of sitting and begs God to not destroy them. It's an echo of a twist on what a Seraph would do in Heaven.

Now that just leaves us the Archangels. I won’t reiterate my other meta other than to link it here, but I do think the show at the very least wants us to consider this as a possibility.

In my opinion? Seraph and Archangel sit near the top of the metaphorical likelihood scale. I'd then follow this up with the Throne, then the Cherub, then the Dominion in order. But who knows! Half the fun of Good Omens is it doesn't always play by the traditional rules. And honestly there's something fun in never having an answer here. After all, no matter where he started, Crowley is Crowley now and that's the way it should be.

[shallowseeker]

On the whole, as a character, Dean has great gut instincts.

He's stellar at remembering a person's MO/objective, and his hackles raise when things don't add up.

(ex: with Metatron; he didn't trust Naomi for shuts and giggles; he "trusted" her because Metatron's actions didn't make sense)

But the point of his character is that he's human. Even though Dean gets it right a lot of the time, he's not a perfect seer. He's gonna be wrong sometimes, especially when he's been pushed to duress.

(ex. Dean trusted Gadreel "Ezekiel", and the he got used as a pawn in Crowley's war to takeHell from Abaddon etc etc.)

And because his instinct are usually so good, getting it "wrong" is is so, so painful for Dean.

////

On this note...

We got God himself tellin' us...

Like, do you ever just sit back and think about how Dean went wholesale into Chuck's bucket of shit there at the end?

And what that probably did to Dean's psyche?

Like, I mean: owch. It's like an infected splinter he can't pull out.

This was a moment there in 14x20 that Dean turned his back on everything he stood for. Dean is usually the one telling us that destiny and authority figures are bullshit.

And yet, you get this line of Dean's, falling in line:

"We got God himself telling us..."

14x20

///

Aside// I feel like... it just so much for Chuck to get Dean here, you know? This is what leads to Dean's full-blown existential crisis.

"I used to think what we did mattered." etc etc:

14x20

///

Pick up the gun, Dean...

And then when Dean can't pull the damn trigger, we get Chuck showing his true colors.

Dean is faced with an intense sense of betrayal AND an unspeakable sense of failure.

14x20

///

At first, Dean's not totally paralyzed with his anger and grief, right? At first, Dean goes on the attack against Chuck:

14x20

//

14x20

//

BUT THEN. Oh, THEN.

"Stop-- STOP!"

14x20

///

Jack dies.

And even in that moments after Jack's death, Dean's not dealing with it.

He doesn't quite believe his eyes.

Jack's dead in front of him, and something in Dean is clinging to: "Maybe it's NOT true, because Chuck said the gun was the ONLY way."

Dean's clinging to this as a grief-delaying tactic.

14x20

Dean's brain: Maybe Jack's not actually dead...

//////

I was wrong. And it hurts.

It's a multi-whammy, too. Dean is faced with many uncomfortable truths that are too painful to directly look at:

(a) Even with all that happened (Mary, innocent civilians getting killed by Jack's team-up with Heaven), Dean didn't want Jack dead. For a moment, he thought he did. He thought he wanted this "shell" of Jack neutralized. But now that he's faced with it, it couldn't be clearer to him just how much he didn't want that. (b) Dean is also faced with the fact that Cas was right not to fall in line with Chuck's plan. Chuck was a snake in the grass. Despite Dean telling Cas to get on board, Cas didn't. Now, Dean feels guilty and maybe even foolish for swallowing Chuck's lie. He even verbally announced that it was "the only way." Here's what Dean said earlier in the episode:

Dean facing that? That hurts!

It speaks to how low Dean's mental health and resilience was that he even got on board with a destiny-oriented plan in the first place.

///

Protective mechanisms

So, Dean puts protective mechanisms in place. Otherwise, he'd fall apart. (Will eventually fall apart, actually. In just a few eps.)

And despite everything, Dean's looking to Cas for spouse-coded support in this grief:

Reeling, Dean tries to keep his eyes on Cas and Jack.

////

Yet!

It's too painful to admit that he was wrong about Chuck. I think this is what Dean means when he later says he "couldn't admit he was wrong."

14x20

Here in 14x20, Dean starts having diarrhea of the mouth, babbling about how he always knew Chuck was a danger.

We see that in addition to being devastated by his losses... he feels like a fool.

It's not his fault Chuck betrayed him. Or that Chuck backed him into a murder-suicide sacrificial corner re: The Equalizer.

But Dean feels like he got duped.

Dean is usually THE GUY to see through destiny-style bullshit. And here, he didn't. It hurts!

//

And... Losing Jack like that. It's just so horrible. Dean doesn't know what to say. So, he rambles.

It's painful to watch him try to cover, but it's also interesting to me that, at least until Belphagor arrives, Dean and Cas ARE talking to one another.

They're instinctually looking to one another for (grudging) support.

14x20

///

14x20

Like how Dean was in denial over Jack being dead ("I thought only the gun could..."), in our 15x01 script, we see more evidence of this sense of delayed grief: "maybe we get him back."

///

What does it take to get Dean hooked on revenge?

I guess my point with this post is about the wound of Chuck's betrayal. This was a huge blind spot for Dean, It was an uncharacteristic, grief-induced bowing to authority...

It did something remarkable to him. In a bad way.

It got Dean hooked on the thought of revenge.

I think it's this sense of overwhelming failure re:Chuck and of feeling like a fool that pushes him into it. (They lost Jack's health, then they lost Mary, and then Chuck murdered Jack!)

Like how he usually poo-poos on destiny... Dean has usually been the one telling the audience that revenge is bullshit.

(Whether that's John's revenge, or Sam's revenge, or even Gabe's revenge in Unfinished Business):

13x20

///

And like, that's something, isn't it? For Dean to take up revenge, something had to go bad wrong.

Dean at first accepted soulless Jack back into the house without a thought. Then, he expressed some wariness about the heart-eating and Bilie's plan:

SAM: Jack, you… you ate their hearts? JACK: I… I had to. DEAN: And you let him? [CAS nods.] DEAN: Hmm. 15x11

...

CAS: Billie kept him hidden in the Empty until Chuck went off world. JACK: She let me out when it was safe. DEAN: Safe to what? Eat a bunch of angel hearts? JACK: Safe to do what I have to. The hearts, they were just the beginning. They made me strong, but I-I’m not strong enough. I… If I do exactly what she says, if I follow her plan, then I’ll get stronger and… I’ll be able to kill God. 15x11

///

Dean & Cas backslide, turning their backs on the very things they have stood for:

Dean backslides. Why?

Dean and Cas are both backsliding after Jack returns, and that is so... interesting to me.

The STRESS of Jack's death and his re-emergence have them focusing on things that go against their idealized value systems.

They get hyperfocused on revenge and destiny:

//

It's like the grief has got them both so turned around that they can't see straight!

//

15x12

//

Anyway, Jack's death was a deep wound, I think.

They want Jack back; they want the threat of Jack's murderer neutralized.

And like Revenge!John, like DemonBlood!Sam, like Godstiel, like MOC!Dean, like NaturalBornKiller!Mary...

Dean loses sight of the things he'd been trying to protect in the first place.

In his own words:

Sam gives him grace. After all, Sam's been there.

Sam not only pulled a gun on Dean but even accidentally ax-murdered him in a fit of Taurus-temper during one of Gabe's endless Tuesdays in Mystery Spot.

///

So... What does it take to truly "ruin" Dean?

We think about all that Dean's been through and how rarely he gets in line for revenge.

It makes this particular pain very special.

So, what does it take to get Dean on a revenge kick?

Well.

Jack Kline, for starters.........

Everything related to Jack. Jack taking on "Dean's" Michael-burden in Ouroboros, Jack killing Mary, and the murder OF Jack.

Jack is the difference-maker when it comes to "ruining" Dean.

Jack is the trump card.

The Equalizer intended to make Jack's death "the thing Dean wouldn't survive."

//

And see, like.

Chuck wants Dean to lose it:

He WANTED Dean's life to fall apart.

You remember Dean sassily saying, "Guess your life isn't so perfect, after all, Eight-Pack Mommy"????

That's Chuck.

Chuck looks at Dean's life, his happiness, his loved ones... and although he greedily scrolls through Dean's life, even living vicariously through it at times, there's something dangerously bitter hidden underneath that interest:

SAM: Wait, wait... Dean... Dean, no. Listen! [Back in the room where Chuck and Amara are] CHUCK: You hear that? AMARA: What? CHUCK: Dean. Brought to the edge of doubt. His sense of duty, his rage winning out in the end.

Chuck wants to crack him, to break him.

///

DEAN: I don't want to do this, but this is everything! SAM: No, it's not!

Dean doesn't want this. He doesn't!

////

Acting on our free will is a group effort

...and here, we see that in full view.

Rarely is Sam the one lending this kind of support. But it's because of the support Sam's been given in the past that he's in a position to support in return.

And Chuck is pissed. He doesn't get it. He doesn't get how them banding together to support each other during their worst moments is what makes them able to escape his clutches.

[Dean uncocks the gun and puts it away. Meanwhile, the door to the storeroom explodes and Chuck/Amara comes storming out] CHUCK: Are you kidding me?! After everything, all that, you... you did it again! 15x17

When Dean can't resist giving into despair, his family picks up the slack.

DEAN: [Fuck] you, Chuck. CHUCK: No, [fuck] you. You know what you do with broken toys? You throw them out. ... CHUCK: I mean... have fun watching him die. [Chuck points at Jack, who doubles over in pain] CAS: Jack. JACK: Help me! DEAN AND SAM: Jack, Jack, Jack. DEAN: Hey. [Jack's eyes glow gold, and golden light breaks through cracks in his skin] DEAN: Jack!

15x17

///

Cas supports Sam earlier in this very episode, which in turn enables Sam to support Dean.

As a family, they borrow support from one another.

The group support ends with Dean rising from the ashes of his existential crisis. He has renewed energy, ready to fight for Jack.

(Aside// In the next episode, 15x19, it's Sam who will lose hope, and Dean and Jack will try and lend their strength to him.)

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