#god uhh what other podcasts are there!

[faggotwalkwithme]

hello err fans of podcasts :3 im doing a project for school on fiction podcasts so..

if you could reblog this with all the podcasts you listened to in order (if you want to provide commentary as to why you went from one podcast to another (for example, the magnus archives to malevolent as a popular example->the eldritch horror) that'd be really useful! thanks :)

edit: i finished the assignment and got the grade back, it was really great! thank you for all your help!

[delimeats-000]

Just the Editor

summary: chris teasing the podcast editor takes a little turn

warnings: language, make outs, dry humping

requested.

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im editing a podcast for THE sturniolo triplets. this is big, like huuge. these guys got me through senior year of hs, and now im their editor, like wtf.

on the set beyond the wall that divides us i can hear the guys laughing with one another.

they’ve been recording for about 2 and a half hours. they should be done soon and come check the final product of the last pod i edited.

soon enough they finish their current recording and come to the editors office.

“Hey y/n/n.” nick says.

“Hey nick.” i get out of my chair to hug him and greet the other boys. “Im pretty much done if you guys wanna take a peek on the last episode.”

“Oh i have a meeting with madi and laura that matts gonna drive me to.” nick hesitates. “If chris is up for it he can stay and watch.”

“Yeah i can come pick him up after the meeting.” matt chimes in.

“Ok sounds good.”

no it doesn’t, two of three triplets gone leaving me with the third that i just so happen to be absolutely smitten over.

matt interrupts my thoughts, “Alright cool. We’ll be back.”

“Be good Chris.” nick laughs before heading out the door and closing it behind him.

i turn to face chris. i hope to god he doesn’t see how nervous i am.

“Ok so you ready?”

“Uhh yeah, you got pepsi?”

“Yeah there should be some in the fridge downstairs.”

“You wanna lead me over there? Please?”

“Of course.” i stand up and quickly walk to the foor opening it for him.

“No no, ladies first.” he winks.

fuck.

“Thanks.” wtf, THANKS, dumbass.

he laughs tho, ok cool, play it cool.

we walk down the stairs and into the kitchen in silence.

“Do you want one or two?” i say bent over in the fridge reaching for his pepsi. he steps close behind me, resting his hand on my lower back.

“Lemme get two, just in case.”

“ok.” i feel weak, his hand feels so firm and strong.

compared to the cold room i was in his hand is hot and the temperature change makes me shiver.

“Are you ok?” he asks as i stand up.

“Yeah just cold.”

“Here take my sweatshirt.”

before i can decline the offer he’s already taking it off revealing a wife beater that lifts halfway up his torso as the sweatshirt comes off. my eyes go wide and i dont get the chance to fix my expression before he notices the blush on my face.

he laughs softly, “Here goof, put it on.”

i take the sweater and put it on.

“You look good.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, lets go watch the pod.”

“Yeah.”

my face is most definitely flushed, im hot, genuinely burning up and the sweater is making this worse now, but it smells so good. i cant take it off, not yet.

“Ok here you go.” i pass him my laptop and headphones so he can watch the pod on the loveseat in the office.

“Yo, you’re not gonna watch with me?”

“Uh, i guess i can.”

he scoots over and hands me the other headphone. he presses play. i cant even focus on the video in front of me, all i can think about is the fine ass man right next to me. shoulder to shoulder i swear i can feel his heart beat. there’s no way in hell im playing this cool. i just know im shaking. please god dont let him notice.

but he does anyways.

he pauses the video, “Is everything ok.”

i dont want to look him in the eyes, im gonna give it up. “Mhm, yeah.”

“Look at me.” he says quiet and gentle. but i dont look.

he grabs my face turning me towards him.

“I said look at me.”

he’s serious this time, his tone still quiet but now firm.

“Sorry.” i mumble.

“Shh, don’t apologize.” a smile grows on his face. “Whats on your mind?”

i shrug, struggling to make eye contact.

“Tell me, baby.”

im sure he could see the shock on my face because his subtle smirk turned into a soft chuckle.

“you’re pretty, chris.”

“You think so?”

i nod my head quickly.

“You’re beautiful, y/n.” he leans closer. “Can i kiss you?”

i nod once more before his lips land on mine.

he starts slow speeding up the kiss getting more rough. his tongue now caressing mine. he slowly runs his hand down to my neck and lets the other rest on my hip.

his sloppy kisses lead down my neck and i feel him leaving his mark. i let out a moan from the sharp pain, as i reach to grab his hair.

he bites harder making me let out another moan before he lets go, breathing hard he says, “Keep moaning for me, baby.”

“Yes sir.” i say as he goes back to making out with me.

i straddle his waist taking control grinding on his dick feeling the bulge grow larger.

“Fuck. Ke-keep going.”

now kissing down his neck and grinding against his hard cock, ive got him moaning for me.

then.

there’s a knock.

“Heeeyy.”

its nick. he opens the door to me struggling to get off chris. chris is completely unfazed as im absolutely embarrassed.

“Chris.”, matt laughs. “You didn’t.”

Nicks jaw completely dropped he turns around and walks out of the room.

Matt daps up chris before leaving too.

Chris stands up walking towards me, “Call me ok?”

i nod and he kisses my cheek before heading out the door.

i fall back onto the loveseat in utter disbelief.

“He forgot his sweatshirt.”

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dialogue key: nick - matt - chris - y/n

hope you like it, love you 🫶

EDIT: Pt 2 Out Now

[zabala0z]

TMA S3 FINALE (and me screaming)

I don’t know where to start. Maybe the fact that everyone I like in this podcast always dies? Yeah I’ll start there. What the fuck guys. What. Like. What?????

I’m not going into my usual format but holy shit. MAG 119 was like motion sickness but for my ears. The music. I hated it so much. That organ. Tim. Tim. I knew he raised too many death flags, Jesus. Like I’m happy and all for him but GOD NO. AND DAISY??? Though when she started attacking the shit out of Breekon and Hope, I did internally cheer her on. The fact they tried to act as Basira made me wanna scream. Now that I think about it, was Daisy being influenced by one of the entities?? Like The Slaughter?

Basira is so much stronger than me. Like genuinely, I think she got bumped up a couple places just by her sheer logic during 119 and I am so impressed 💀 so much so, I’m wondering if she had like any internal help, y’know??

Orsinov is like one of the most horrifying sounding characters here. The moment she put on Gertrude’s and Leitners voice, I shrieked. Something about the sing-song voice, the way she inflects certain words makes my head spin. Like Michael.

Little backtracking, Martins situation with his mom is like devastating. And the moment Elias started speaking, I knew he was gonna pull out some traumatizing shitty news to give Martin, I hate him.

Fast forwarding: Jon’s dreams

Okay. So. Jon I guess is in some sort of coma and man are his dreams fucked up.

All the people that appeared in there were the people who gave physical statements. Not super hard to figure out but we had Dr Lionel Elliott, Tessa Winters, then Daisy but obviously she’s not there (DAISY 😭), Karolina Górka, Jordan Kennedy, I think the melted woman refers to Jude Perry, the hunters (Julia and Trevor), Naomi Herne and then the pitying figure. The only woman I would think would fit this vague description is Sasha because of course it’s vague, he doesn’t remember her and I’m going to sob.

Bit scared on what Jon is turning into. Whatever it is, it’s not anything good. He’s watching a lot and I guess he’s watching other people’s dreams- or nightmares- and just….watching??? I’d be terrified.

Elias got arrested. Love it. Though, “Be seeing you” I HATE YOU. 🫵🏻

Would be happy but god damn PETER LUKAS has replaced him and I don’t know if that’s worse or better because we at least know Elias’s actions and his limits. We don’t know much on Peter and I don’t like him at all. At least he’s giving them paid leave. And a counselor. I personally need a counselor for this WHOLE SEASON.

When people told me “good luck” when I started getting into TMA, I laughed it off. I should’ve taken it more seriously because I have never felt more distinct and unpredictable emotions than listening to this podcast. I think that’s all my thoughts. Mostly I’m just uhh dying here. I hate everyone and this podcast and I’ll be listening to the beginning of Season 4 tomorrow!

Again, thank you to everyone who has been following my mini rants and crappy theories. Remember when I thought Gertrude was living in the tunnels??? But seriously, thanks to anyone who has been like fully reading through my posts. School has been wack and the people, and just the podcast as a whole has been making my time less stressful 💀 anyways that’s too emotionally vulnerable so thank you!!!

[damienthepious]

did you know that it's a full moon tonight? because that fact has shaped ALL my writing progress today.

i fucking hate this new editor by the way. i can BARELY fucking post fic at all anymore and it's fucking banishing me to the phantom zone. go read my fic on ao3 instead im begging you.

raised by wolves

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationships: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Rilla, Sir Damien, Lord Arum, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin' Tuesday, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Werewolf!Rilla specifically, Secrets, (look i think rilla deserves to have some angsst explored for once), (uhhhh god there have GOT to be more tags uhh. i don't know i'll add more later), (In later chapters there will be), Implied/Referenced Harm to Children, Implied/Referenced Violence, Mild Injury

Summary: Rilla is keeping secrets.

Notes: This didn't exist this morning and now i've got a new fucking multichapter to worry about jesus fuck. hopefully (LMAO) this one won't actually be that long? if it goes according to.. plan???? yeah. right. fine. okayfine.

~

Rilla has always liked straight lines. Consistent rules. Categories, into which data points will neatly fall.

This might, possibly, have something to do with all the categories she falls between the cracks of, herself. Or maybe she was always going to be like this. Who knows? She doesn't exactly have a control group to check with. Life doesn't work like that; neat and tidy like her experiments. Life is messy. Her life, in particular, is messy. But, hey, at least it's messy mostly on a predictable cycle. Mostly.

Rilla packs her usual bag, false bottom carefully in place with her new tinctures alongside the old standbys. She pulls her hair out of her face and into a braid, and picks her way down to the greenhouse to say her goodbyes.

A newer wrinkle in the routine: saying her see-you-in-a-couple-days, I-promise-I'll-be-safe, try-to-remember-that-I-love-yous in the Keep, now, and not in her own hut. Saying them to Arum, too.

Arum hasn't questioned her absences, yet, because she goes off on her own all the time anyway, and because he never really seems to question her about leaving the Keep. She can tell that he doesn't want to remind her of being kept here, and... that isn't necessary, really, but it's sweet, in a way.

He and Damien can keep each other company while she's gone, too. Which is nice. Damien doesn't have to be quite so lonely when she's gone, anymore (and Arum doesn't have to be lonely at all, if she can help it).

She kisses Damien deep, distracted by the way his skin smells, this close to the moon, and when she pulls back Arum nuzzles his snout into her neck in a way that makes her want to growl, though she manages to suppress the urge into just a shudder as she wraps an arm around him and squeezes. No time for fun, just now, unfortunately. She kisses Arum's cheek, light and sweet to make him scowl, and then she peels herself away with a casual wave.

The Keep's portal drops her in the front room of her hut, receding back into the wide planter to the left of the hearth with a gentle farewell warble from the Keep (or at least... what she assumes is a gentle farewell warble), and Rilla grabs another one or two things to stuff into her pack before she steps out of the hut, locks up, and marches into the jungle.

Damien thinks that her monthly disappearances have to do with harvesting rare medicinal plants with very particular blooming cycles, which is... partly true. There are flowers and herbs to be harvested during the day, when she can. She doesn't like being less than honest with Damien, but she's been less than honest with every single person she's ever known since her parents were Exiled. And- it's a medical condition. Sort of. She's allowed to keep a medical condition private if she wants to.

Arum...

Arum complicates things. He's good at that.

Arum complicates her excuses for not telling Damien, specifically. Because if Damien can, in fact, put aside his animosities and find room in his heart for a monster...

(Maybe she could have told him ages ago.)

(Or maybe not. Maybe it would have been too much, before. Maybe he would have been terrified. Maybe he would have felt betrayed. Maybe he would have told the Crown. Maybe he would have-)

No one knows about the second hut, the same way no one knows about her condition. Though... "hut" is generous. Her home is a hut, cozy and carefully cluttered and warm and welcoming. This building is more of a shack, really. It's a fair hike from the hut, but she can get there before dusk with time to spare, which is pretty much the point. Technically speaking, she could just overnight here and then come back home during the day, if she really pushed it, but that would be a lot harder to explain than just saying that she needs to travel to a distant grove for botanical purposes.

It looks abandoned and ramshackle, but the door and the lock are sturdy, and Rilla has the key.

Sturdy, reinforced walls, a wooden locking bar to make certain that nothing gets in and out, no windows. Bare floors, excepting a chair and a desk in one corner for a little bit of reading or writing during the day, and a chest to keep her things in. Mostly open space, where Rilla spreads out the blankets she brought, right in front of the metal hoops for the chains.

She cut her timing a little close today, mostly because she wanted to actually enjoy her morning with Damien and Arum. She sighs, stretches, and unpacks her extra clothes into the chest so she can get to the false bottom of her pack and pull out her medicine.

First night. She'll go with her standby tincture, this time. She has a new experimental blend she wants to try, but she'd rather save it for tomorrow, the full moon, and see how it affects her on the day that hits her with the most severe symptoms. This one, she at least knows that it'll keep her mostly placid.

She sighs, uncorks the vial and slams it back like a shot, wrinkling her nose at the taste.

The medicine makes her memory a bit... muddy? But even before she developed this particular treatment regimen, she couldn't remember much about what happened, what she would do on the nights immediately surrounding the full moon.

She does know that she hates it here. Hates the chains, hates the wood against her claws, hates the drowsiness from the medicine. Hates being alone.

She packs her kit back up. She undresses to her underclothes, then stows her dress and shoes and the tinctures into the chest before she closes it with a click.

She goes to sit on the blankets on the floor, then, fixing the harness around her neck and chest and adjusting it to the marked positions. Rilla has been alone in one way or another since her parents left, she reminds herself as she settles in to wait, her skin already prickling and her eyes adjusting far too quickly to the dark.

The wolf will just have to cope.

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

Thank you @kardinalkalamity for the tag! :D

Kept planning to do this when I got back to my computer, so then my computer decided, let's stop working completely. Anyway!

three ships: If I'm being honest, macdennis is the only ship I've ever been truly actively invested in. I don't actually ship things often or strongly. But I'll also put Buffy/Angel up here because Buffy will always be my #1 show.

last song: The Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen has been stuck in my head for weeks.

last movie: Cocaine Bear! It was surprisingly really well made, like this wasn't just some silly low budget horror, they put some work into this. The filming was good, the script was great, and the actors all seemed to be really into it and having a good time. It was really fun. Gory, though, but I mean it's a bear on cocaine, so.

currently reading: Still in the middle of Cosmos by Carl Sagan. Nightfall and Other Stories by Isaac Asimov. And a lot of Newton Geiszler angst fanfiction. I didn't... I didn't even like the movie.

currently watching: So many things I swear to God if I were to list them all we'd be here all week. Technically still currently watching Sunny as I've been putting off finishing s15 because I won't know what to do with myself once I finish until 16 is out. Also rewatching the 1996 Sabrina the Teenage Witch with my sister and trying to finish The Good Place. Finally just finished Community, plan on starting New Girl or Succession soon. Oh forgot Mythic Quest!

currently consuming: If this means food, maltesers chocolates. If this means general other content... uhh This Paranormal Life podcast I like to listen to while drawing. I've also had like 3 episodes of Wolf 359 left for over a year *sobs* I didn't want it to end.

currently craving: very full, so in terms of food, nothing right now, but in terms of content, I want some kind of book or media with some guy with psychic powers just having the worst time because of them. Weirdly specific.

Tagging some people from my notifs only if you want to do it, or haven't done it, no pressure and feel free to ignore me!: @angrymac, @kod-lyoko, @marimoog, @bellesaysmeow, @lambsmain, @mcdens, @emodennis, @gloomody, @buffalochickenpizza, @kathleenbrash27, @literatigeek

[lemontongues]

tagged by @januariat and @mamawasatesttube thank u both!<3

1. are you named after anyone? an obscure cartoon character lol

2. when was the last time you cried? uhh. OH i do remember, i bawled the other week at the ending of s1e5 of ted lasso lmao. tv doesn't usually get me but that did the trick ;~;

3. do you have kids? nope!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? hmmm i used to be very sarcastic when i was younger and i don't do it on purpose anymore but i think i do probably still have some holdover from that lol, so... kinda?

5. what sports do you play/have you played? when i was a little kid i did gymnastics for a bit, i played soccer for a year, and i did a number of years each of karate, ballet, and tap dance. gave it all up before i hit high school, tho

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people? hmm i think usually hair? sometimes outfit

7. what’s your eye color? blue but with a lot of yellow so they tend to look greyish to me, idk

8. scary movies or happy endings? happy endings! im mega weenie hut junior, cant handle the spookies at all<3

9. any special talents? im rly good at getting up to go to the kitchen right when the microwave or toaster oven is about to ding

10. where were you born? delaware :P

11. what are your hobbies? god dont ask me this. okay. crochet, writing, drawing, reading (books/comics), collecting comics, video games, listening to podcasts, occasionally gardening or doing bobbin lace, learning new hobbies i don't need,

12. do you have any pets? no but i want a dog soooo bad :(

13. how tall are you? 5'0.... technically 5'0.5 but i slouch so i think it cancels out lol

14. favorite subject? history! and ethics tbh

15. dream job? honestly? getting paid to fuck around with whatever weird lark catches my attention. i come up with a lot of ideas for websites while im in the bath lol. realistically? i like what i'm doing rn, which is bookkeeping, so if i'm thinking about advancement, forensic accounting could be interesting? or maybe i'll just stick with bookkeeping lol

tagging @applejee @feralratman @batfam-chaos @mindshelter @roseworth @junkoandthediamonds aaaand whoever else wants to!

[aesrot]

sorry for sending you so many things but I'm in a talkative mood rn. Anyway have you heard of all tomorrows (I think thats what its called) its a sci fi horror thing about the "future" of humanity and "humans" after this eldritch race of Gods(?) came and mingled with humans.

It's probably one of the most disturbing things ive ever seen and I was unable to get through an entire video talking about it because it was so disturbing

please do not apologise, im having a fucking blast!!! and im afraid my sci-fi background is uhh very poor, so nope, havent read it (but adding to the list!!); but oh m y god, this can go in so many ways, love love love this, it reminds me a lot of coc actually.

theres this one brazilian podcast in which the guys played coc (i cannot stop talking abt them asjfhfsa so fucking sad its in portuguese, bc i want to make everyone listen to it), and the people involved w the cult of cthulhu were trying to create the 'perfect race' (it was set in the eve of the WWII, they were nazis, so that fits the whole thing) and were messing and combining humans with other eldritch creatures, and the descriptions were mmmm so good (the dm is a writer who really enjoys eschatology, so you can imagine how that went)

[changelingbaby]

OCs? 👀 i typically dont send these in cuz it's too much reading for me so I'll give you random ones! 3 7 25 28 31 35 41 A D E H gimme the deets!!!!

OH my god okay. i dont know who to do this for so i'll just do it for nate because he's (kind of) the protagonist (under read more)

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

nate has adhd so he either stays up really late without realizing and crashes or he tries to go to bed at a reasonable hour and lays awake staring at the ceiling Thinking for three hours before he crashes. i imagine he tries to listen to podcasts like The Daily so he can be informed but it's so goddamn boring for him and he tires himself out trying to focus

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

i think he has a huge amount of nostalgia for the simple pleasures of childhood and he actively tries to trigger it so like. getting an ice cream cone and walking by the creek. bringing frozen peas to the duck pond. that kind of thing. he and his mom are very close but unfortunately she's a nurse and has to work a lot/at odd hours so while he associates these things from childhood with her he doesn't get to do them with her now a lot :(

25. What are their thoughts on marriage? 

he is a hopeless romantic and also a hopeless queer who fully recognizes the capricious and tentative state of marriage rights for many people/groups and so he absolutely wants to get married one day so that he and his spouse have like. rights. but also he wants the most fairy tale wedding of all time

28.  Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

uhh. hmm. no? no. but he'd have to think about it. ultimately he always wants the truth. also the start of the book is his best friend dying in a car crash (that he is also in) and no one believing him that she's still alive (they never find a body) and everyone thinks he is choosing a pretty lie over an ugly truth but in fact he is right!! so. it's a complicated question is my point.

31.  Who are they the most glad to have met? 

oh god uh. i mean all of their friends. girl #1 (her name Will begin with an A i just haven't decided yet) is his best friend. jude is his second best friend as in they met each other second. and girl #2 is also his best friend (but they met last). i think he would have to default to A just because his life would be drastically different if they had never met. but he would never really choose.

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? 

SOOOOOO excited this boy is an anti-negativity FREAK he LOVES getting hyped about things he's never even heard of before. i mean when he met jude and jude mentioned he wanted to play DnD nate immediately was like A and i will campaign with you we'll try anything once. he is truly just a life enjoyer he does not believe in cringe or mockery or 'friendly' teasing

41. How do they feel about children? 

he is. 16. and he has no idea. like, he likes them, but does he want them? he has no fucking idea. maybe! he also doesn't know what he wants to do when he grows up and since he's good with kids he wonders about maybe going into teaching or something but. working with kids is so depressing and he doesn't know if he could do it lol.

A) Why are you excited about this character?

uh you know how people talk about taking ray-of-sunshine characters and grinding them into dust? yeah that's me about nate. i love him. and i'm going to make him suffer. so bad. but he is absolutely a "i fucking earned my happiness" character so he goes through this entire epic hard journey just to prove everyone wrong and save his friend and earn his smile back because something TERRIBLE happens to him and he refuses to be beat down.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

i don't always have clear ideas of how my characters look but uh well. he is a dark haired green eyed boy w light pale skin and that has not changed since the very moment of his inception. (jude, on the other hand.)

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

oh god nate is too good for me. i mean yes i would absolutely get along with him and he'd get along with me for a while, but i just know i would eventually be too mean and he'd be. so disappointed in me. ╥﹏╥

H) What trait do you admire most?

his endless fucking optimism!!!! and perseverance!!!! he does not ever take 'no' for an answer and he refuses to let his mental health get him down. he always prioritizes his and his friends' health over any outside forces like grades and college apps and parental pressure and, you know, the crushing weight of being alive, and social media et cetera. he's not a toxic-positivity person, he will absolutely let himself grieve and feel negative emotions, but he is a King at understanding emotional balance and taking care of himself/his friends/his family.

thank you for sending these in this was so fun!! excellent character exploration <3

[angel-bubbles]

tag people you'd like to get to know better

tagged by @calicostorms :3 thank you for the tag hehe, tagging @princecharmingfrosting @ashs-stars @angelcactus @itsdaifuku @epsi-l0n and anyone else who wants to jump in! of course no pressure! (and sorry if you've already been tagged/already did it i uh... didn't look that hard asjdfkl)

three ships: ash/david, zutara from ATLA (i would go to the ends of this earth for them), and uhh of course david/angel. my hyperfixation on redacted has been all consuming for too long at this point.

first ever ship: if i'm being totally honest i actually think it was zutara ajsdkflj. i'm never letting that one go

last song: i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it by the 1975. soothing to the soul.

last movie: i rewatched all the hunger games movies the other day! i really can't handle the anxiety of not knowing what's gonna happen in a new movie so i just rewatch ones i Know, plus i just love those movies so much :)

currently reading: sooooo many things actually (always open for recs btw hehe) but most recently Gods and Monsters by Shelby Mahurin :) started that series sooo long ago and finally getting around to finishing it. of course always reading the fanfics y'all put up too, i'm forever reading something

currently watching: my attention span is absolutely not built for watching tv so i usually don't, i've been trying to get into new girl but... it's been difficult lmao

currently consuming: Redacted ASMR (as expected lol) and i've been listening to a lot of social work and ethics podcasts for school, which are actually rlly interesting surprisingly

craving: i have been craving orange fanta all. day.

[ludicrousfalcon]

I posted 163 times in 2022

That's 163 more posts than 2021!

13 posts created (8%)

150 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@averagejokester

@paperandpencilsandskips

@ellieartvoid

@huckleton

@liminocre

I tagged 16 of my posts in 2022

#charity stream - 3 posts

#vinesauce - 3 posts

#jabroni mike - 2 posts

#greatzott - 2 posts

#vargskelethor - 2 posts

#vinesauce rev - 2 posts

#revscarecrow - 2 posts

#stream of conscience - 2 posts

#gearomatic - 2 posts

#last christmas - 1 post

Longest Tag: 57 characters

#hope i dont have to rely on using a pinned post for links

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Catch me lookin’ up “how to use tumblr” right about now.

1 note - Posted November 17, 2022

#4

https://twitter.com/jabroni_mike/status/1595137774130429953/photo/1

Stream of Conscience for Movember is starting in a little bit! Jabroni_Mike, Vinesauce Rev and Joel, GreatZott and Gearomatic will be there!

2 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#3

halp whats a goncharov everyones talking about it

2 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#2

4 Years Later

After 4 years, this page is active again! Well... at least that’s the plan. I’ll probably post stuff at a “somewhat regularly” frequency, probably mostly stuff about my fancomics or other creative projects. Assuming Twitter *really does* implode and most people jump ship for good, I’ll probably make this my new home base, even though I uhh.... am not really *that* experienced at knowing how to use tumblr lmao. I dunno, we’ll have to wait and see. 

In other news, here are some of my links: 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LudicrousFalcon

MSPFA profile 4 homestuck fancomics: https://mspfa.com/user/?u=103334508819793669241

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT3HG1cfTZ08jp9WwnuZszA

Deviantart: https://deviantart.com/falconhawk5

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/the-engineer-760315130

Bandcamp: https://ludicrousfalcon.bandcamp.com/

Discord: LudicrousFeline#1461

4 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Oh my god Robert Evans (the It Could Happen Here podcast guy) just casually mentioned Homestuck for a brief second. The contagion is spreading...

6 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[theauthorsarchive]

Statement #9:The scholar

[CLICK] 

I wrote a book about a week ago. You would think this would be good but I have no memory of writing it. The only reason I know I wrote it is because I recorded myself doing so. The worst part is-

Knock Knock Knock

Hmm I'm not expecting anyone…i think? 

Klovn

Don't answer it.

Clatter

Zaine

W-when did you f-fucking get here?!

Klovn 

Doesn't matter, but I'm here to tell you not to answer the door.  

Zaine

W-why should i l-listen to you?

Klovn

Two reasons, I need you alive so I'm not letting you die yet and if you open that door it's going to be more and more difficult to do that. 

Zaine

What's b-behind the d-door. 

Klovn

Find out.

Knock Knock Knock

Zaine

Coming! 

Zaine

D-didn't you sa-. Where did he go?

Knock Knock Knock

Zaine

Coming!

Creak 

Pat pat pat pat

Creak

Zaine 

Can I help you?

???

Yes you can my dear boy, are you perchance the host of one supernatural podcast?

Zaine

Uhh yes ahem yes I am.

???

Splendid! 

Creak 

Zaine

Oh uh you're in my house now.

???

Well of course how else am I to regale you with my supernatural tale. 

Zaine

Well usually you send an email and it gets reviewed but…how did you get this address. 

???

You have a lovely home. Where can I sit for my tale? 

Zaine 

Well I have my recorder on me right now. So I guess the living room. Um, do you want me to get your scarf or coat for you? It's a pretty hot day. 

???

No, I have a naturally chilly internal temperature so the heat has never bothered me. 

Zaine

Oook so please take a seat can i get you anything. 

???

Do you have any milk?

Zaine

Milk? Are you sure?

???

Is my drink of choice perplexing?

Zaine

No, I guess. I'll grab some for you. just sit anywhere.

???

Lovely. 

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

Zaine

So mr…

???

Ivan, Ivan Kost and might I ask why the tapes. 

Zaine

No reason in particular, I just had a couple of them and I feel mysterious when I use them.

Kost

Strange. 

Zaine

Are you ready to tell your story?

Kost 

Since the moment you answered the door. 

Zaine

Awesome, Zaine Allgood original recording on May 26th, 2016. Please if you could.

Kost

Well it all started when i was but a little girl. I was prematurely born with a condition. It made it so I was as pale as snow and as weak and skinny as a stick. Growing up I was viciously mocked and bullied by my peers. They called me a freak, said I shouldn't have been born because of my condition. Home was less than ideal. My father was a military man and my mother was a zealot. 

You can assume that because of my appearance they saw me as a failure from the start. My father wanted a strong man fit to join the military and my mother wanted a beautiful baby boy. They both didn't get what they wanted. My fathers abuse was tame by standards, he never looked me in the eye and whenever i told him anything i could tell he wished i wasn't there. My mother on the other hand was the devil. She cursed me for being born saying how god had abandoned them for having such a cursed child. She would make me pray for hours on end making me beg for forgiveness from god. Hoping that one day he would hear her prayers and turn me into the thing she desired most.

My only refuge was my uncle Maximus, he was spouseless and childless. Instead being married to his work being a scholar collecting several books and obtaining vast amounts of knowledge from every walk of life. The best part was when he saw me he didn't see a failure or a demon, he saw his nephew. I often went to his house during summers. We would spend hours in his library talking of his recent adventures and reading the books that lined the shelves. He loved me like a son and I loved him much more than a father. 

But that would end when the summer did and I went back to hell. But he inspired me to seek my own knowledge. I was the academic master in my youth being the top student in my school and winning many awards for my intellect. When I eventually graduated high school I was a valedictorian. It was a surprise to all when i wanted to skip university, instead i went with my uncle and became his ward. It was my uncle's idea saying how colleges strip the intelligent of creativity leaving them mindless drones. 

My parents were against it,surprisingly, saying how they were proud of my hard work and didn't want it to be ruined by my bastard uncle. I told them to suck a lemon. And that's the last I saw of them. You could say working for my uncle was pure ecstasy. We traveled the globe seeking knowledge, oh the things we discovered and the adventures we had.

But after many years I realized something about my uncle. Originally I saw him as a machine fine tuned for seeking and acquiring knowledge no matter the danger. But something I never expected changed his mind…me. We would go on less treacherous journeys instead playing it safe. I asked him about it and he said he had grown weary in his old age. But I knew better. I knew that he saw me as weak and frail. 

The more he got to know me the more he saw my weakness and how it affected me. I detested him for it. The way he looked at me in pity, how when I had to take a break he would look to support and coddle me, he looked at me with such love it was sickening. But one day it all changed for us.

My uncle had heard a story of an abandoned cult temple on the western American coast. It was fairly safe all things considering and that's partly the reason why my uncle was so adamant on going. I had no reason to refuse so off we went to the good ol red, white, and blue. The trip was nothing to write home about but when we got there it was something to behold.

The temple was inside a cave in a mountain, it was fairly untouched because my uncle was given a lead via a benefactor. Inside was the usual cultist shlock they worshiped some clock faced god and died by a mass suicide. Incredibly standard really. But there was something that caught both me and my uncle's eye. It was a book.

It was written in a language that we did not know but somehow we understood it perfectly. It told of a ritual needed to summon a deity that would grant a wish to anyone for a price. The only thing stopping us was to recite a phrase. xe pyilw za il ylv, xe pazm za xe odipy, xe wafd oar xe wafd. My uncle looked at it in horror realizing the power that the ancient tomb had. While I looked in curiosity. 

I began to recite the text but I was stopped by my uncle. He said how we didnt know the risk,how we didnt know what the price was, blah blah blah. It was then I knew who my uncle was. A coward. The beloved uncle I once saw was now a pathetic loving old man. I knew I had to do something. And something I did.

We were leaving the cave and I noticed something. A ceremonial dagger ornate and golden. I grabbed it and thrust it into my uncle's back. His screams rang out against the cave's walls, the confusion and fear. When he turned and saw me holding the knife his look of betrayal made me sick to my stomach. I struck and I struck multiple times, I did for so long that I thought I might collapse from exhaustion. 

I took the book from my uncle's dead hands and recited the words that changed my life forever. What I saw I could not tell you but I knew it was beautiful. What wish did I make simple, I wished to no longer be restricted to the body that held me back. And like that I was reborn into a machine fine tuned for seeking knowledge…the end

Zaine

That…that's it?

Ivan

Why yes my dear author.

Zaine

Why would you ki- what did you call me.

Ivan

Your name. Why wouldn't I call you that? It is common manners.

Zaine

W-why did you come h-here.

Ivan 

To tell my story and to get a thank you for your medical bills…oh and to kidnap you for my own personal gain.

Wack 

Ivan 

Oh my sweet author, you can't hurt something that's already dead. 

Zaine

W-what the h-hell are you. 

Ivan

A ghost, the body in inhabit is simply a suit I use for convenience. 

Zaine

Hehehe like Kraus in hellboy.

Ivan

Sure. whatever makes you more comfortable. Now come here. 

Bzzt

Zaine

Put down the t-taser…p-please.

Ivan

Oho you're adorable. Now come HERE!

Bzzzzzzzzztttt

Zaine

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! 

WHACK

Klovn

Hey, you're messing with my ticket out of this hell. Get your own author.

Ivan 

A clown, strange, I'll have to dissect you later.

Klovn

Try it old man!

[CLICK] 

[swamp-world]

oooh how do u like it??? any fav eps so far? :3 (@oingomyboingos​)

ok days late but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. i am just about done s3 and im LOSING my MIND i think i’ve gone a grand total of one (1) day without listening to it since I started and that’s only because i ran out of episodes downloaded and was without network connection.

when I started listening to it i had no idea what it was going to be like or what it really was at all; I just knew that it had been recommended to me a number of times and i needed something to listen to on a flight so. for the first few episodes i was really excited to have an anthology-style story and was actually a little disappointed in some ways when it turned out to be serialized instead BUT. but they have done it so masterfully. i think i’m just used to some pieces that don’t handle the integration of anthology type intros to serialization more clumsily, and I was absolutely delighted at the result.

Favourite episodes is. difficult to capture. i need to babble about this show and my thoughts on it so you’re going to get a long list separated by category of “why i like it” 

I just think they’re neat

007—The Piper

I love me some WW1 fiction. Where’s the post about the difference between WW1 and WW2 nerds and why you need to watch out. I fall into the first category and have fallen out of my warboy interests in recent years (thank god, for separate reasons) but still really really enjoy it. love Wilfred Owen’s poetry and putting it side by side with Otto Dix pieces. also this fits into the “foreshadowing done EXTREMELY well” and i adore it

###—Spider Episodes

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i hate spiders. when i was four years old i nearly walked facefirst into the web of a saint andrew’s cross spider that was at perfect eye level, and i was stopped, and they’re not even particularly venomous, just like a bee sting really, but it scared the shit out of me so i have grievances with the fact that this podcast manages to be so good that i’m not even mad about all of the spider stuff in it

048—Lost In The Crowd

This one isn’t for any particular reason of plot or anything, though it’s very good, it just happens to overlap with one of my research interests which is uhh. we’ll summarize it as nonplaces and their ability to entrap. the title feels like a very deliberate reference to edgar allan poe’s short story “The Man of the Crowd” which informed Baudelaire’s essay The Painter of Modern Life which (among many other things) informed Benjamin’s works in general and especially his Arcades Project and all of this goes forwards to Marc Auge and his work on nonplaces and that fits into theories of Agamben’s regarding elements of normalized space stuff and that’s all tangential to the fact that I just felt very validated in recognizing that and also enjoyed the story. i know too many australians who’ve gone on backpacking tours.

051—High Pressure

[leonardo dicaprio pointing image]

065—Binary

this also just fits into a lot of. i just love people who talk about tech like this. creepypasta aside i really love the opening to this.

085—Upon the Stair

[leonardo dicaprio pointing image] listening to how jon pronounces antigonish was extremely funny to me because he says an-TIH-goh-nish and every local i know who says it doesn’t actually enunciate it, it just becomes “annegunish” without any actual accenting or emphasis so that was amusing. end thoughts on that one.

AAAAAAAAA PLOT

033—Boatswain’s Call

chilling. excellent. love maritime horror. nothing more to say yet except that i don’t know how it factors into everything else and am excited to find out.

053—Crusader

need i say anything. aaaaa. love gertrude right now. love this statement. delightful stuff. properly setting everything up. love the historical integration.

080—The Librarian

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

089—Twice as Bright

i love jude perry. scares the shit out of me.

092—Nothing Beside Remains

oh dear. oh no. oh god. i desperately don't know whether or not to trust elias. jon is an idiot and his judgement is bad and iffy. i'm so bad at avoiding spoilers but i'm doing my best but oh my god they're all so fucked.

Tropes I adore (fanfic style)

really it’s just that i’m a sucker for any stories involving whump/angst/hurt(maybecomfort) and this podcast is rife with opportunities and examples for that

053—Crusader (again)

martin’s worry about jon with the bread knife :(

079—Hide and Seek

same thing. a heavier note but. aaaa. the writing for jon’s paranoia and the surrounding responses to it is so very good and the buildup was done so well. tim’s anger is extremely rational and i want to give him a hug. martin’s sympathy and jon’s exhaustion are also extremely understandable. the opening to this episode hurt because the impression i got from it was just. they’re going down to try to find and save/stop jon, and while tim is focused on jon hurting someone else, it reads to me like martin was worried that jon was directly suicidal and going into the tunnels to die, rather than just “going to do something stupid and get hurt in the process”, and Tim’s tunnel vision (again, not wholly unfounded) blinding him to both that possibility and martin’s worries. also, martin needs a pay raise and for his coworkers to get very long vacations and also workplace therapy.

I Relate To Jon Too Much

this isn't a particular episode but just i need to scream about it. this came at just the right/wrong time, because i very much am feeling the same as jon on a professional level. that is to say, i took a job that was supposed to be simple numbers tracking and has turned into a massive investigative project. i have zero training or experience with document and data preservation, or finances, and so hearing georgie say "well it makes sense that you're the head archivist because then no one can or has told you you're doing everything wrong" was WILD because that's literally the exact situation i find myself in. it's covering business law, accounting and finance, investigative journalism/reporting, and now document and data preservation and investigation. also i am very bad at taking care of myself when i get very deep into a project and am also used to having people come in and drop tea on my desk to try to help. i big time feel jon using a tape recorder too because whether or not that's actually anything remotely normal in archival work or just the framing device beyond realism, i've recently been understanding the extent of my visual burnout/aversion and am realizing just how much it affects me. it is much easier for me to dictate things to someone to type than it is for me to type them, and I can type at a hundred wpm; it's just easier on my brain. right now i'm trying to pull together some combination guide book/changeover manual/project outline/complete history, and in reality this thing should be 50k words minimum with the stuff i need to put in it, but as soon as i have to type it i freeze up, but if i speak it or dictate it (or speak it and then type it out myself later) it's leagues more doable. The idea of making audio recordings that function the same way honestly never occurred to me but I might just start doing that because i have a coworker who's offered to transcribe things for me for business purposes and it would be so good. also it just feels nice to talk into a microphone. feels less pointless than talking to air.

in fact this podcast has inspired me to start looking back into possibly pursuing library sciences, because it prompted me to look into the extent to what i am currently doing is more archival than accounting, and that's the part that really has me hooked. i'm currently drafting up a proposal to accompany our next archive submissions for a project-based position with the goal of. like. i have the most knowledge at the moment of anyone on my organization as far as i know? and also just want an excuse to see firsthand more of what it's like.

the other part of things that’s just. aaaaa. is that i’ve. hmmm. maybe this is just something i’ll encounter in further horror media as i’m not really that familiar with it but oh boy does a lot of this hit with life experiences and jobs that i’ve worked and stuff. i used to work as a housekeeper at an uncomfortably fancy and expensive care home for seniors with neurodegenerative diseases and so the ones about care homes are. um. a bit painful on a personal level there because it turns out that’s not a fun place to work. really amplifies the horror because of its familiarity. also, used to work as a funeral attendant and pallbearer and so any of the ones really involving funerals, especially the one by the mortician (again, overlapping care home) was just like. oh yeah i forgot most people don’t. don’t exactly think like this or have day to day exposure to dead bodies. likewise, spent quite a while attending burn clinics for recovery from injuries bc that’s where the plastics department worked most of the time, so while i’m not a burn survivor myself it’s. also very familiar.

this is all to say that oh my god i adore this podcast. it's been ten days since i started listening to it and i don't know already what i'm going to do when i'm done.

Also goddamn you all I’ve started listening to The Magnus Archives

[mwagneto]

it's over

[cakeofthepan]

This episode was a doozy, but somehow my favorite part was the running bit of Matt being a misogynist. (Much love to Matt, I very much appreciate his ability to let himself be the butt of a good joke).  

[Audio Transcript:

[Instrumental version of Shania Twain’s “Man I Feel Like a Woman” plays in the background]

Matt: The more Freddie talks about Taylor the more clear that it is his mom is not a good person

Matt: Is she-

Will: I think it’s clear she’s not a good mom, I don’t know if it’s clear she’s not a good person

Matt: That’s true, that’s true, I meant good mom

Anthony: Matt doesn’t think women have value outside of being moms

Will: [laughter]

Matt [sadly]: Noooooo

Beth: That’s true

Anthony: [laughs]

Matt: Oh man, I was so pumped about this episode, now I’ve been-

Beth: Care to explain Matthew?

Matt: I’ve been put down a peg

Anthony: Your silence is deafening Matthew

Matt: Hi everybody, my name is Matthew Arnold, known misogynist

Anthony and Beth: [laughter]

Will: Hey everyone, I’m Will Campos

Matt: Lover of women

[laughter]

Beth: He has a wife

Will [like Borat]: My wife

Beth: Hi, my name is Beth May and I’m a known woman

[various gasps]

Beth: A real one

Will: Known woman known cry

Freddie and Beth: [laughter]

Beth: And I play Scary Marlowe

Freddie and Will: [gasp]

Beth: A goth punk seeker of darkness who is not like the other girls

Anthony: I noticed Matt didn’t do the gasp

Matt: I’m not scared of uhh I’m not scared of women

Freddie: Of wHAT!? Of WHO? Of what Matt? Of WHAT?

Anthony: [laughing]

Matt: I’m comfortable, I’m not scared

Beth: Well, okay

Matt: Uhh I got a natural 20. So I, 20 plus 3-

Freddie: OHH

Matt: So I look up at Scary and go

Link: Thanks Scary, oh my god here

Matt: And we do like the coolest predator high five

Beth: Okay cool

Matt: And then what do you say to me because I got a natural 20, like is it cool?

Beth: I say something really cool

Matt: Like what do you say?

Freddie: [snickers]

Beth: Ummmm

Matt: I wanna know, like is it cool?

Freddie: Paint a picture Beth

Anthony: So wait, rolling a natural 20 means you get to give up improv?

Matt, Freddie, Will: [laughter]

Will: You get to make someone else do the improv

Beth: Must be nice to put all the pressure on the woman Matt

Anthony: Yeah, just like Matt

[Music fades out]

Anthony: As artists we like to put parts of our own backstory into the podcast. I worked at a pizza place, Freddie’s from Seattle.

Beth: I’m a woman

[laughter]

End Audio Transcript]

[meichenxi]

Beginners’ Gaelic resources

My mother’s family are native Gaelic speakers (Scottish Gaelic, not Irish), and the family that lives on the Western Isles still speaks Gaelic with their children. Many of my cousins are native bilingual speakers, but I grew up in England and was divorced from all of that. I tried to learn Gaelic as a child, but my grandparents actively discouraged it and eventually I stopped. 

A while ago it occurred to me: how is it I am learning Chinese when I can’t even speak their language? Or Welsh, or any of the languages of the UK? How can I think about language endangerment in other countries when I can’t speak Gaelic, as someone with half of their family from the islands? It seems bizarre when you frame it in those terms. 

Throughout the last few months Gaelic has been a casual on-again off-again project for rainy days, when Chinese gets too onerous. I’m keeping it light and fun, because I know I’ll be here for the long ride. Here are some of the resources I’ve been using:

1) Learn Gaelic with Jason: https://gaelicwithjason.thinkific.com - Jason is an American who developed an interest in Gaelic from a young age, with a degree from Sabhal Mòr Ostaig on Skye. This course is paid, but it’s one of the best things I’ve found - not just for Gaelic, but for *any* language. It’s a series of complete immersive videos about 20-30 minutes long requiring no prior knowledge, building on each other. Jason really understands the idea of comprehensible input, and I could learn a lot from him as a teacher. He also hosts the lessons in a yurt, is a terrible drawer, and wears a torque. Cool guy. 

You can check out his videos for free here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVX7RajLZmm8i7LEuli05tw

Jason also has an intermediate course where he teaches Gaelic through folk tales from Scotland and Ireland which I will definitely use once I get there. It’s a wonderful way into stories I heard as a kid and have partly forgotten. 

2) Jason’s graded readers: Yes I love this man. He is a god. I’m not going to link to Amazon, but he has two graded readers and working on more. This is my favourite method of learning: of just opening a book and going ‘That..looks like...a verb?’ Very repetitive language, very high frequency, with an absolutely excellent glossary at the back - plus you get to read some lovely folk-tales. I’ve learnt so much from the one I have. 

3) https://learngaelic.scot : this is one of the best websites there is. It is a modern, well-designed accumulation of Stuff - it has flashcards, links to the old BBC Alba video series (highly recommended), grammar explanations, audio, more flashcards. And also tips for each level. They also have a YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqZrsYGwxA0g1KA3nKB6Y_A

4) Speaking Our Language: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxeyZABaHeI&list=PLX1DGbPK9r2HHyLN062V_ASbIh3xXpyvb - This is a great playlist, very nicely old-fashioned, of Gaelic spoken in context for beginners. 

5) Learn Gaelic dictionary: https://learngaelic.scot/dictionary/index.jsp - This has sound, which is crucial

6) Beag air Bheag podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/34wGOU9sDTE7Vzg0qMexfv?si=2dF4YuqNQy6vdEL_smON4g&dl_branch=1 - Look. I understand none of this. But it’s an amazing podcast for intermediate learners, and I enjoy getting the occasional ‘agus’, ‘sin ceart’ and ‘ooooooo thaaaaaaaaa’. It’s nice to hear different accents and other learners too. 

7) GLOSSIKA!!!!!! I know what you’re thinking but - and it’s a big but - Glossika is free for certain small languages, and Gaelic is one of them!!! I’d really really recommend it, but best probably after the first 200 or so words to get the most from it. Basically it’s spaced repetition listening, and spoken importantly at a normal pace. Use glossika. 

(Also, for other languages, the free PDFs with standard IPA is available, uhh....quite easily...if you look..)

If anyone has any other resources you’d recommend for beginner level, let me know!! At the moment I’m more than preoccupied with Jason’s course and book, and Wiki as ever has all the grammar I need. For vocabulary, I’m not using Anki or anything specific yet, just memorising as I go along. It’s all very chill, and we’ll see how it goes. 

I...don’t know how to say 加油 in Gaelic. But. You get the picture.

- meichenxi out.

[hyogonokitsune]

haikyuu boys as things my fwb has said to me, part 2

atsumu

I may or may not have slightly edited my tinder photos to make my ass look fatter

I hate having manners

I’m gonna kill myself I just found a tick in doomah. doomah? do mah nuts fit in your mouth 😎

is it weird for me to be obsessed with how big all my friends’ dicks are? whatever

oh, I’m kinda surprised you didn’t smack my ass just now. did you want me to? yeah 😔

oikawa

I just... really wanna get pegged

why didn’t you tell me my lips were so chapped?? I look disgusting

happy pride month, my bisexual queen. although I think you should be wishing me a happy pride, because I’ve recently developed crushes on some UFC fighters and it’s making me question some things

I hear that cum is a good skin soother

I’m only obsessed with select men’s penises

kuroo

only bad bitches have IUDs 😤

look at how small my dick is when it’s soft. just a teeny lil winkie

your coochie is immaculate

a clown must always ride around in his or her clown car, metaphorically, physically, and emotionally

I almost got into an accident the other day. I was, uhh, playing chess on my phone on the highway

I vacillate between a lovable moron and a hyper intelligent troll

suna

*shares positive feedback I got from a professor* that means he wants to stuff you

my friend paid me $50 to do shrooms with him, so that’s why I’m tripping at the gym right now

I’ll pay for us to go mini golfing, and then I’ll take you out for dinner but I’m just gonna pay for my own meal :)

I might have become like a low key drug dealer. just a little bit

middle parts are 💯

osamu

*sends him a picture of a cake I made* that looks BUSSIN

I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little bitter that all these ticks are crawling on me and none of them are on you

those trees that smell like cum are blooming again

I wanted to kiss you just now, but I have Taki breath

do you think it would be disrespectful to bring some snacks with us on this walk through a cemetery?

do you remember that park we were in last night? apparently they found a body there a few weeks ago. whatever

bokuto

how soon is too soon to piss in front of someone in the woods?

the neck is one of the body’s androgynous zones. you mean erogenous zones? yeah that’s what I said

*gets not one, but two bowling balls stuck in the gutter*

sorry I can’t hug you for too long, I might get a boner and we’re in public

kita

come here, let’s enjoy the transient beauty of nature together

are you feeling touch starved? you want a hug?

I’m sorry you had a bad day queen 😔

he needs some goat milk to straighten him out, show him some discipline

sakusa

this is the most disgusting city on the planet, god bless 🙏🏼

god damn, my skin is absolutely glowing today

you’re my favorite little whore

hinata

what’s your wifi password? uhh, BingusBingus

hey can I give you a penny? just so I can say I’ve paid someone for sex

it’s easier for guys to pee wherever they want, but pooping is the great equalizer

I did not shit in those woods. I shat in some other woods

I’m smarter than the average pill bug

iwaizumi

is it homophobic of me to not let you win at bowling?

you sometimes speak like abe lincoln

do I pick friends based on if they are attractive? sometimes

tanaka

I just farted outside of my friend’s house and sent it to him as an audio clip to antagonize him

I just pissed for 55 seconds, who wants to try and beat my record?

god gave me a dick and balls so I could helicopter them at my nemesis's funeral

I’d let you do literally whatever you wanted to me. that made my balls happy reading that

I don’t get the hot boy attention I deserve from enough women

kenma

you listen to music while you go on walks, I listen to podcasts on bloodborne lore while I go to the gym using my stolen membership, we are not the same

quarantine did irreparable damage to my brain

*sends a picture of him holding a frying pan over his sleeping friend’s head* I’m about to tom & jerry this bitch

--

➣masterlist

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➣taglist (let me know if you want to be added!)

@crystal-lilac @rinniesbbygirl  @rinsangel