#god tony has no rhythm at all

[minimitchell]

Ben & Lexi | 27th June 2023

[vbecker10]

I have a request if you're not too busy

So the reader is the lead singer of a hex girls tribute band and Tony hires them for a Halloween party. While singing the song "cast a spell on you" she catches the attention of Loki, Who is very captivated with this so-called witch.

I love your work and oftentimes feel spoiled with how many fix you produce 🖤💙💚💜

Loki's Little Witch

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: You are the lead singer of the band hired to play at the Avengers Halloween party. You quickly catch Loki's attention and for the first time, he decides to stay until the end of the party.

A/N: @crimson25 I absolutely love this request! Thank you so much for sending it! I hope you like it 💚💚

"How are things going?", Tony Stark's voice interrupts your thoughts while you set up your microphone stand.

"Mr. Stark," you turn to see him dressed as Beetlejuice. "It's going really well. We're almost done setting up."

"Good to hear, the guests should be arriving in about fifteen minutes," he reminds you as Pepper walks over to him, wearing a red wedding dress.

"We are definitely going to be done with all of this before then," you confirm and he gives you a thumbs up. You look at your band mates then back at Tony, "Mr. Stark, we just wanted to thank you again for this opportunity. This is the largest event we've ever played at."

Pepper laughs while adjusting his tie and says, "I think Tony might be more excited than you are."

"I can't help it, I love the Hex Girls," he explains. "When I stumbled across your tribute page, I knew I needed to book you for this party."

True to your word, your band has finished setting up a few minutes before the doors open. The large room seems to fill up almost immediately but instead of being nervous, you couldn't be more ready. You introduce yourself and your band to the crowd and begin the first song.

You dance across the largest stage you've ever been on, matching the rhythm of the song as you sing the opening lyrics. Looking out into the crowd, you fill with pride when most of the guests begin dancing or signing along. This isn't just any crowd, you realize as you quickly recognize most of the guests despite their expensive and well crafted costumes. There are the Avengers, of course, but also some incredibly well known actors and even a few musicians you idolize. Your heart races with excitement but you know you need to pace yourself, it is still only the first song of the night.

Midway through the second song, your attention is pulled from the middle of the crowd to the rear doors when they open suddenly. Thor walks in, turning more than a few heads. The God of Thunder is dressed as a viking, complete with his golden hair in long braids and a fur lined cape. You continue to sing but are unsure if that should be allowed to count as a costume. Then you notice Thor is physically dragging someone with him as he walks through the guests.

You can't help but smile as you sing, seeing his large hand wrapped around his younger brother's bicep. The raven haired prince walks with his head down next to his older brother, leaving no doubt that he has no desire to be here tonight.

The God of Mischief is the only guest not in costume this evening. Even you and your friends in the band dressed up for the night. You had chosen a black dress with a short witches hat and black lipstick, deciding to lean into the witch look a bit more than usual since this is such a large party. You can't decide if Loki not dressing up is his silent protest against coming or because he simply knew the suit he wore looked stunning on him. He is wearing a perfectly fitted three piece, black suit with a matching black dress shirt and tie.

You continue to sing and dance across the stage but your eyes follow the two Asgardians. They make their way to the bar but as soon as their drinks arrive, Thor spots Jane and abandons his sibling without a moment's hesitation. Loki shakes his head as he takes a seat and clears away some of the Halloween themed glitter around his drink.

You watch him sigh then conjure a thick leather bound book to read and decide your goal for the night is to make sure he enjoys the party. The third song begins and you smile, knowing it is the perfect song to get the attention of someone with magic.

I'm gonna cast a spell on you.

He turns on his stool as you start your favorite song in the lineup and your eyes met briefly.

You're gonna do what I want you to.

Mix it up here in my little bowl,

say a few words and you lose control.

You sing to the crowd dancing in front of you.

I'm a Hex Girl

and I'm gonna put a spell on you.

You point out towards a random guest.

I'm gonna put a spell on you.

You point to another person and smile as you sing loudly.

I'm a Hex Girl

and I'm gonna put a spell on you.

You look towards Loki who is still watching you while you sing, putting down his wine slowly on the bar. You try not to blush at his intense eye contact, a smirk on his lips. His book vanishes as his attention is solely on you.

Put a spell on you!

You point at Loki and wink with a smile. You can't help but continue to keep your eyes fixed on the handsome prince, as if you are singing just for him now.

You'll feel the fog

as I cloud your mind.

You'll get dizzy

when I make a sign.

You'll wake up in the dead of night,

missing me when I'm out of sight.

His fingers run up and down the stem of his wine glass but his eyes never leave yours.

I'm a Hex Girl

and I'm gonna put a spell on you.

You turn from Loki and continue to dance to the other side of the stage.

I'm gonna put a spell on you.

I'm a Hex Girl

and I'm gonna put a spell on you.

Oh yeah!

You turn again towards the bar and he takes a sip of his wine but his eyes find yours immediately. You sing directly to Loki once again.

With this little cobweb potion,

you'll fall into dark devotion.

If you ever lose affection,

I can change your whole direction.

You break eye contact with the God of Mischief and dance back to the center of the stage. You wave towards the crowd and hold your mic out to them. They all join in, singing the finally chorus except for Loki who watches you intently with a smirk on his lips.

I'm a Hex Girl

and I'm gonna put a spell on you.

I'm gonna put a spell on you.

I'm a Hex Girl

and I'm gonna put a spell on you.

We're gonna put a spell on all of you!

The song ends and everyone cheers wildly. Loki claps from his seat, looking as regal as the prince he truly is. He takes a sip of his wine, still watching you as you begin the next song.

After your seventh song, you announce that your band will be taking a brief break. You turn on the DJ program and hop off the stage, almost immediately walking into Loki's chest.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Laufeyson," you look up at him, feeling a wave of nervous excitement.

"Loki, please," he smiles charmingly. "And what is your name, little witch?"

"Y/N," you tell him, a giggle escapes you when he takes your hand and kisses the back of it lightly.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Y/N," he says, not releasing your hand, his thumb runs across your knuckles. "Would you care for a drink?"

You look back towards the stage but your friends have all vanished into the party for your fifteen minute break. You smile back at him, "I'd love a drink."

"Lovely," he says and you blush when his eyes travel up and down your body quickly. He places your hand on his forearm and leads you through the crowd to the bar. Loki pulls out a stool and holds the low back of it still as you take a seat then he sits next to you. The bartender asks you what you would like and Loki orders himself another glass of wine.

"So, are you enjoying the party?" you ask, taking a sip of your drink as you try to hide how excited you are to be this close to him. You had been watching him nearly as closely as he had been watching you, hopeful your paths would cross before the night was over. Your knee brushes against his when you move to face him but neither of you shift away from the contact.

"I am now," he smirks as he leans closer to you so you can hear him better over the loud party. He ignores his drink, his blue eyes focused on yours and you place your drink on the bar near his. "But I believe that may only be because a beautiful witch has cast a spell on me," his fingers gently cover your hand which is resting on your knee.

You blush and bite your lip, "I didn't think a human could bewitch the God of Mischief."

He strokes your cheek slowly with his other hand, "But you are no mere mortal, surely you must be a goddess."

You giggle at the thought of Loki referring to you as a goddess but before you can respond you feel someone's hand on your shoulder. You turn to see who is interrupting your conversation, unable to hide your annoyed expression.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Y/N," your drummer, Rosalie, smiles apologetically, "but Mr. Stark wants us back on stage since they are bobbing for apples now. I didn't know people actually did that."

"Okay, thanks," you tell her and she walks away, presumably to find your other band mates. You look back at Loki who's smile has faded, he removes his hand from yours and sits back. "I'm sorry, I wish I had a bit longer," you tell him honestly.

He nods, forcing a smile, "As do I."

"I really hope you enjoy the rest of the party," you say then you get up and walk back towards the stage. You worry he will leave the moment you are away from him and if he does, you doubt you will ever see him again.

Suddenly, you get an idea and walk quickly back to the bar. "Excuse me," you get the bartenders attention and ask him for a favor.

Loki watches you curiously but his smile returns when you walk towards him again. You fold the napkin in half and place it into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. Reaching up, you kiss his cheek softly so as not to leave a lipstick mark and say, "That's just in case you decide not to stay until the party is over but I hope you don't leave quite yet."

Loki unfolds the napkin as soon as you are back on stage and chuckles when he sees your phone number and a black lipstick kiss. He folds it again and tucks it back into his pocket for safe keeping. The decision is easy, it only takes seconds for him to know this will be the first of Stark's parties where he remains until the end.

You watch Loki get up from the bar and your heart sinks as you fear he is leaving. You continue to sing as your eyes follow the prince but you smile when you realize he is on the hunt for food. Hopefully that means he has decided to stay, you think.

Loki leans against a wall, away from the other guests, holding a plate of food as he watches you perform. Two songs later, he has gotten rid of his plate but he remains in the far off corner, smiling to himself as he listens to you. His arms are folded across his chest and he nods his head slightly with the music although you doubt the Asgardian has ever heard any of these songs before.

You start the next song and turn to share the mic with your base player for the opening lyrics. When you turn back around, your heart jumps into your throat and you nearly miss the next line. A woman in a tight and very revealing blue dress is standing with Loki, her hand resting on his arm. He bends a bit while she whispers something in his ear.

You try to push down the wave of jealousy that suddenly fills your body and force yourself to keep singing. He isn't yours of course, you remind yourself. You have barely spoken but you would feel devastated if you had to watch the handsome prince dance with another woman.

Loki looks down at the woman's hand and you wish desperately you could hear what he is saying to her. A smile spreads across your lips when he pulls his arm free from her grasp. You continue to sing loudly, his eyes find yours again and he smiles in spite of how unhappy the woman next to him appears. She takes a step towards Loki again but he folds his arms over his chest and leans on the wall as he had before she approached him. His eyes remain focused on you and he ignores her final attempt to get him to dance.

The only woman the God of Mischief is interested in tonight, is you, his little witch.

The main lights come on just after midnight and the party finally comes to an end. The guests wander out of the large room but you hope one particular god doesn't leave. You and your band mates begin the long process of disassembling and packing all of your equipment.

"Excuse me ladies. Would it be possible for me to borrow Y/N for a few moments?" Loki says from behind you.

Ember, your bassist, looks around at all of the equipment and in a mocking tone says, "We need to put all of this away first, your highness." She bows dramatically and you roll your eyes although you are less than surprised by her attitude.

You laugh and blush horribly when you realize your friends have noticed Loki's attention has been on you since he arrived at the party. You hop off the stage and turn to look at them, "I'll be back in five."

"Shut up," Rosalie throws a drumstick at her with absolute precision. "He's been eye fucking her all night. Give the woman ten minutes."

"Take your time," Maya, your guitarist yells over her shoulder. "You're useless at winding these cords the right way anyways."

Loki takes your hand and leads you into the now empty hallway. You are unsure where he is taking you and before you can ask he stops suddenly and turns towards you. He releases your hand, gripping your hip instead and backs you against the wall. You giggle nervously when he takes a step forward, his body pressed flush against yours.

"You were extraordinary tonight, my little witch," Loki smiles down at you.

"Thanks," you bite your lip when his eyes drop to your lips briefly. "I wasn't sure you would like the songs. I imagine this isn't the kind of music a prince of Asgard would typically listen to."

He shakes his head, "It is not but you are an exquisite singer."

A blush creeps up your cheeks and you are unsure if it is his complements or how close he is to you. He strokes your cheek slowly and your hands move to his lower back. His fingers run down your cheek and hook under your chin, tilting your head so your eyes are locked on his. He leans down slowly, his lips only inches from yours and he smirks, waiting for you to move next.

You bring one of your hands to the back of his neck, gripping the fabric of his jacket with your other hand. Pulling him towards you, you reach up and kiss him slowly at first but quickly Loki deepens the kiss. His grip on your hip tightens and your fingers move from the back of his neck into his long, black curls. He lips travel to your neck and you moan his name softly when he bites your skin gently.

"Hmm," Loki hums against your neck then he lifts his head to look at you. "You have the most enchanting voice, my little witch, and I plan on finding out what other sounds you can make tonight." He winks at you and you giggle, "But I will need much longer than ten minutes."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-asgard @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv @glitterylokislut @biodegradable-glitter-fest @wolfsmom1 @msdjsg7 @simone818283 @hopefuldreamers-world @blackhawkfanatic

[buckyalpine]

Modern Bucky

This wasn’t even supposed to be smutty but I took it there. I was just thinking it’s so attractive to think of Bucky as being perfectly adjusted to the modern world and most of the time he just acts like he’s still figuring stuff out. Without a doubt, he’s been through so much but no one realizes just how smart he is and how quickly he picks up on things. 

Like people forget he is a trained assassin and he’s Sergeant Barnes, he moves with ease and stealth just about everywhere. He knows how to blend in and It didn’t take him long to figure out technology. Didn’t take long to pick up on the culture. He walks around with some shitty burner but has a proper phone few people know about. 

It catches you off guard when you expect him to be seated in the corner of the bar, nursing on a whiskey while talking to Steve but hes nowhere to be found. Everyone else is on the dancefloor, which definitely wasn’t Bucky’s scene. Your body doesn’t stop moving while your eyes scan the crowd, where would he- 

You gasp when he suddenly appears in front of you out of nowhere, damn his ability to move from place to place without being noticed until he wanted you to see him, dressed in all black from head to toe, biting his bottom lip while he eyes you up and down. 

“Buck- What are you doing” You whispered, your skin growing hot, feeling his hands move down from your waist to your hips, turning you around and pulling your back flush against his chest. 

“Well if you’re gonna be moving around like that...” He smirked against your ear, pressing his erection against your ass. “What did you expect, doll” 

His body moves with yours, hands placed firmly on your hips and waist, guiding you the way he liked. You nearly lose your rhythm with the way he grinds against you because how and when did he learn to dance like this. Your body wines with the movements of his hips, you can’t think straight with how perfectly he moves with you. 

“You’ve been giving everyone a real show, tonight baby” Bucky whispered in your ear, nipping your neck, “You just wanted me to sit and watch the entire time?” 

It’s sexy enough to get others around you hot and bothered between the way he alternates between keeping his face pressed into your neck to whisper the filthiest things in your ear and bending you over to his hearts content, just to pull you back up and turn you around so he can rock your hips on him. 

“Is-is this what it’s like to be into voyeurism” Sam mused from the side where everyone gathered one by one, needing a solid minute to take in what was unfolding before them. 

“Shhh, I’m watching something” Tony half assed smacked his hand over Sam’s mouth, watching you and Bucky still on the dance floor. “Holy shit...”

“He has a big dick, I just know it” Nat cocked an eyebrow, unwilling to tear her eyes away from the growing tightness of Bucky’s jeans each time he brought your ass to grind on him. 

“They should get a room...but also I don’t want them to get a room just yet”

“What the hell is wrong with you”

“You’re telling me watching them right now didn’t give you a hard-on?” 

“Please stop”

“I don’t think it’s fair that he can look good and also know how to dance, shouldn't he be tripping on his own feet or pouting in the corner cause this isn’t old music, when the hell did he learn that”

“Big dick energy” 

“Oh God” Steve covered his face in his hands while everyone else continued to watch you both in awe and tinges of jealousy because again. When. How. HOW. 

“What baby” Bucky smirked at the needy whimper you let out when he held you firmly against him, swaying in place, letting you feel exactly how badly he wanted you take you apart.  

“Let’s go” You turned around to clutch onto his tshirt, squeaking when he effortlessly carried you up with your thigs wrapped around his waist, going straight to his floor. 

“What’s wrong princess” Bucky loved how flustered you were as he dropped you on his bed, your legs squeezing together. You stared at him with wide eyes because where was this side of Bucky coming from, where was your precious sweet baby who only danced to 40′s music in the kitchen in between dorky Hobbit references. “Need something?” 

“Need you” you nodded with a whisper, confused over the new dynamic that was happening, your body screaming for more of whatever was happening. You took your time when it came to intimacy with Bucky because you didn’t want to over step a boundary, keeping things tame. 

“You need me baby?” He crawled on top of you, smirking to himself; ready for you to have all of him, every part he’d been holding back on. He wasn’t sure before but after catching a glimpse of the books you were so into, why would he hold back what you seemed to love so much, what he needed himself, “Need daddy to take care you?” 

Take care of you he did. 

He tore you dress off before throwing his own clothes aside. You didn’t even have time to process what was happening when he grabbed your ankles and pulled you off the bed, man handling you and wrapping your legs around his tapered waist, walking you to the floor to ceiling high windows of the bedroom. He slammed your back against the cold glass before nudging his tip against your sopping hole, shoving it in with one stroke and fucking into you like a ragdoll. 

All you could do was desperately cling onto him, scratching and biting his shoulders while he pounded you relentlessly. 

“You like this baby, like when I fuck you hard like the needy slut you are for me?” He grunted, muscles all pulled taut, loving the way your arousal squirted out, getting his shaft creamy. Before you could beg for more, he pulled out and turned you around so you faced the window instead, slamming back into you and letting his hips snap against your ass. “Bending this cute little ass over, grinding on your friends, what did you think would happen doll, you wanted to tease daddy, is that it?” 

“N-no” You sobbed out, your pussy quivering when he spanked your ass, fucking you till the window panes nearly shook. 

“Why’d you hide what a little slut you are babygirl, reading all those horny little stories by yourself. You think I didn’t know about that pathetic little toy you have tucked between the shelves, hm? Thought I wouldn’t know how to fuck your pussy raw till you were crying all over my cock?” 

“Oh God, Fuckkkk” You had no idea what monster had unleashed itself while Bucky tugged your hair back, his other hand still snaked over to strum your clit. 

“C’mon, scream for daddy baby, I want them to hear how good I make you feel” 

“D-DADDYYY” You wailed as he railed you,  his fingers to rubbing and playing with your swollen clit, hitting that spot only he could reach. 

“Y’know they were all watching baby, let’em all see” He growled against your neck, “N’hear how much you love daddy’s cock, go a head and cum baby, make a mess, make a mess all over my cock” 

There was no doubt most of the compound could hear your salacious moans and cries as your orgasm started to pulse through your body, your cunt clenching and milking his cock making it hard for him to move.

“Choking my dick you little slut, make room for my cum baby” He jackhammered into you before stilling, groaning loudly letting his seed fill you up till it dripped between your thighs. You expected him to gently pull out and carry you back to bed but no. 

“Bucky? Bucky what are y-ooh fuckkkk ” Your eyes rolled back as he  sunk down to his knees, spreading your ass apart as he dove in between your folds, nursing and lapping at your sensitive nub, his beard getting messy in the process. “Fuck Bucky, What-Oh God, Don’t stop” 

“Oh doll, theres so much more I’m gonna show you” 

Anyway. Modern Bucky seems pretty cool. 

[wntrs0ldier]

An Offer II: Safe Haven · 01

pairing: mob!bucky x reader words: 5,3k warnings: typical mafia (dark themes, language, violence, etc.), a/n: if you see any mistake, please, close your eyes,,

series masterlist

series summary: The ride was bumpy, but in the end, you got your husband. Your marriage gave you protection, and your new husband shared with you his life, his Family, his wealth. His demons and his enemies. Only time can show whether it was worth it.

Although his scent had managed to wash off, you loved walking around in that soft, far too large robe of his. Leaving the bedroom – where you hadn't even slept an hour together, let alone the whole night – you put one over your shoulders and tied the belt. And, as you do every morning, you went to the kitchen, which, in practice, was your shared kitchen; except that not at the same time. You prepared the coffee, and with a mug in your hand headed to the living room; you leaned against the entrance frame and fixed your gaze on the couch, or rather on the person occupying it – Jerry. This time you remembered the name. You lifted the mug to your mouth, but your lips did not come into contact with the bitter, hot surface of the drink. 

Was there any limit to the amount of time you could miss someone who, given the short period of knowing them, shouldn't mean that much? And what could you be capable of to drown that feeling of abandonment?

A little more than a week was still missing and you could safely cross out the third month of Bucky's absence. This was not how you imagined the beginnings of your marriage, but you consoled yourself with the knowledge that it could have been much worse. On the other hand, it could also have been much better. To some extent, your life resembled the one you had led before your marriage and even before your father's death – you didn't have to worry about business; it was secure and had regained its former fluidity. Enough to calm Tony Stark down. You were able to concentrate mainly on your gallery, spend weekends with your friends or with Suzie. Everything went on with the old rhythm, with a few exceptions. You didn't date anymore, and turning down potential lovers came more easily to you. And you devoted Sunday afternoons and evenings to your new family – Winnifred would invite you to tea or dinner, and these activities became your marital duties. But you really felt more like a new purchase of the Barnes Family than a wife to Bucky – after all, you spent more time with them than with your husband.

But he still tried.

He called at least once every two, sometimes three days. You would have loved to call him every day, but you never did – you didn't want to disturb him, because you knew he was working hard. You heard how tired he was, so each time you asked him to get some sleep; you kept telling him that your day wasn't that interesting. But Bucky never relented – he claimed he liked listening to your voice.

Jerry twitched, opening his eyes, which automatically fell on you. For a split second, he seemed deathly terrified; you guessed that his mind sensed your gaze, and raised the alarm as a result. But Jerry was safe. At least for now.

“Did you sleep well?” You smiled slightly, perhaps a little meanly, then took a sip of coffee without dropping your gaze.

The young man immediately sat up and rubbed his face. “Oh God…” he gasped. “Don't tell Bucky. He’ll fucking murder me.”

“Don't worry. It can happen to anyone.”

“Has it happened to someone before me..?” he asked with hope.

You wrinkled your nose and shook your head, which made Jerry groan with dissatisfaction.

“Would you like some breakfast?” You raised your eyebrows.

“After something like that? No way, I'm out of here.”

You walked Jerry to the door.

“Please. I'm begging,” he said, almost hanging on the doorknob. “Don't tell Bucky. Don't tell anyone, because it will definitely get to him.”

You sighed heavily, holding back from rolling your eyes. It seemed to you that Jerry was exaggerating, but on the other hand he was white as a sheet, so you didn’t want to scare him more. “I won't tell anyone. I promise.”

“What..?” Connie stared at you with curiosity, and the fork on which she had scrupulously scooped one of each ingredient of her salad hung not far from her mouth.

As befits a wealthy wife abandoned by a husband absorbed in work, you had a lunch date with Connie and your two other friends, Victoria and Holly, who were close enough to you to know some of your secrets. As in the case of Connie, you didn't share with them all the details of your life, you didn't get them into the business you did, but they knew who you were. They also knew the character of your marriage; it was impossible to keep it a mystery when matters of the heart were an integral part of your conversations. And even if you could pretend that you and Bucky had something more in common – something by which people usually decided to take such a binding step as marriage – your girlfriends would have figured you out right away.

“Who’s Jerry?” Holly furrowed. 

You couldn't remember if she was there when you mentioned him for the first time. However, you didn't have a chance to dig up this information in your head – Victoria rushed to explain: “He's some sort of bodyguard. Is that right?” She glanced at you, and you nodded.

Some sort of bodyguard was a surprisingly accurate term for Jerry and the rest of the boys. Since Bucky was away from home and unable to look after your safety himself, he ordered his men to do so. With that, you got to know a handful of Bucky's most trusted soldiers, and every evening one of them sat in a car parked outside your apartment, watching the building and its surroundings. Every morning one of them drove you to work, in the afternoons they escorted you home or wherever you pleased. You were never alone. Even now, sipping wine in a fancy pub, you were under the watchful eye of one of them; he was sitting a few tables away and going over the menu for the fifth time, glancing in your direction from time to time. He took a seat at the other end of the room to avoid being noticeable, but your friends were fully aware of his presence. Besides, they weren't the only ones; he was quite a flashy item in a restaurant filled mostly with women dressed in pastels and beiges.

“Are you still okay with that? All that following?” Holly continued. 

“They don’t follow me.” You rolled your eyes, smiling lightly. It's not that you had been brainwashed into accepting the possessiveness or the desire to control your every move; you just understood what rules applied to your and Bucky's world. You also understood that your friends were not as aware, so your husband's security measures may have been deceptively similar to red flags. “Following someone tends to be done in secret from the person who is being followed, you know?” 

“What's up with Jerry?” Connie interrupted. “Did you sleep with him or not?”

“No, of course not,” you calmly denied. But instead of continuing to speak, you paused for a moment – a memory popped into your head; a memory of Bucky's prettily pink, parted lips as he savored your wet warmth. You swallowed hard, sinking your teeth into your lower lip. “He slept. On the couch. Alone.”

“A bodyguard should sleep on the job..?” Holly asked doubtfully.

“In theory, no. But whenever I was able to forget Jerry's presence somewhere around, I heard sneezing or sniffling.” You raised your eyebrows. “I was afraid that if I left him in the car overnight, he would faint from a fever or something. I invited him inside, or rather convinced him to come in, and he fell asleep on the couch. That's it.” You shrugged.

“You shouldn't have done that,” Victoria said, her forehead creased in worry. “You shouldn't invite strangers into your apartment. What if he would hurt you?”

“Uh, that's not exactly what bodyguards do.”

The rest of your lunch followed the pattern repeated at every meeting you've had for almost the last three months. Your girlfriends expressed their concern toward your relationship, and then smoothly moved on to other topics. This time a party you had little idea about. Not because they didn't include you; you just didn't hear a word. Absorbed in your own thoughts, you completely disconnected yourself from the place and the company. You reflected on the fact that you spent far more time with them, and even with the previously mentioned bodyguards, than with Bucky. It shouldn't have affected you on the scale it actually did – you were purely business partners who happened to have sex a few times. But all those things you promised each other before he left... 

On the one hand, they were somehow groundbreaking. On the other, they became blurred in this long separation. Besides…

Your eyes involuntarily rested on your hand. Despite being married, you still didn't have rings. You wore at least an engagement ring – an apparent sign of being taken, but Bucky? You couldn't be sure – away from home, away from New York, away from you – he wasn't taking advantage of the lack of a wedding band. Maybe he only called you in the evenings, drained, because his other life was consuming all his time and energy? You knew he couldn't be so vile to you, but maybe he was trying to protect you? Had he found someone in Italy and didn't want to break your heart? Maybe the bodyguards were not there to protect you, but to keep you from any potential surprise visit?

A sudden flash of sanity made you realize that you were becoming paranoid. You didn't have Bucky around; you couldn't look at him or talk to him freely, so you kept thinking about him. This, in turn, led you to newer and newer conclusions that you wouldn't normally even consider. Timothy got his way – he effectively punished you, because you were going through a living hell.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You were so deep in your own thoughts that you didn't even know who had spoken to you. All three – Connie, Victoria and Holly – were looking at you.

“Hmm?” you muttered, raising your eyebrows questioningly, although you could hear perfectly well what they wanted to know. “Oh, it’s… It’s nothing.” You shook your head with the abashed smile of someone caught in the act. “It's just... I miss him. Very much,” you said in order to justify your drifting away. You just didn't tell the whole truth; you didn't intend to torment your friends with your fears, because these were taken from panic, not a rational perception of things. 

“Do you like him in that way?” Holly smiled provocatively. 

Before you could explain that you would probably miss each of them just as much during such a long separation, Victoria cut you off again: “This is so sweet…” She almost melted. “Maybe you're not telling us something? Maybe you are at the boyfriend-girlfriend phase? Things like this can happen when two people are close. Even in a not-for-real-marriage, right?” She looked around at your faces for some confirmation of her words.

“I would know if we were at that phase,” you said immediately. 

“Not necessarily. This phase is not always clear. Not all people ask directly about dating, like, you know, as a couple. Sometimes you just fall into it. Unconsciously and naturally.” Vicky shrugged.

A short silence settled over the table. You reached for your glass of wine, and, staring unseeingly at some random point, emptied the rest of the drink in slow sips.

“I'll see you this weekend?” you finally spoke.

“As always. But maybe you should invite Jerry this time?” Connie grinned with amusement, and you gently kicked her under the table.

“Are you okay?” Steve's voice filled the inside of the car.

“I won't throw up here, if that's what you're asking,” you answered, taking your eyes off the side window to look at him. Steve’s mouth curved into a slight smile. 

You doubted that picking you up from a nightclub was his ideal scenario for a Saturday night, but at least he didn't waste the whole evening babysitting you. Admittedly, he was up for it, but you managed to convince him to give you some freedom. You still didn't mind round-the-clock security, but you got the impression that your friends were starting to feel a little uncomfortable. You couldn't accept that they weren't able to relax and enjoy your girls’ night out, and if you had any power to do so, you decided to use it. In return, you promised Steve that – after the party – you would wait for him like a good girl you were, and let him drive you home without saying a word.

Your head was still buzzing from the pounding music and people shouting to each other, and you felt this unpleasant dry stickiness in your mouth. It wasn't the worst state you could get yourself into, because although you hoped to get rid of the annoying, uncomfortable thoughts, you didn't want to completely knock yourself out of consciousness.

You were haunted by the same problems; fueled by longing and the absence of Bucky, who could ease your doubts. Besides, for the past few days you couldn't push away what Victoria said – leaving aside your marriage, could you and Bucky have been more than that? Before he left, he behaved as if you were, but did he allow the possibility or did he do all this because he felt an obligation to act as a husband should? Moreover, you didn't even know why you felt the need to find out all this; after all, you weren't hoping for anything. Other than an inherent affection, a weakness, an incomprehensible attachment and a natural human desire, you had no deeper feelings for Bucky. So what was your problem?

Mindlessly, your eyes wandered to Steve again. Sometimes you would return in memories to Bucky's words; to the moment when he joked that he could recommend you to Steve – you wondered how your life would have turned out then. You would certainly have experienced a completely different dynamic, because while Bucky was patient with you, Steve exceeded all expectations. But unlike Bucky, he behaved a little too formally, politely in your company; as if he didn't allow himself to show any flaws. This, in turn, partly let you guess what Bucky meant when he said: ‘I'm not a guy you marry. Steve is.’ With the warmth, caring and calmness radiating from him, Steve was something of a last step – he just reassured you that he was the right, safe choice; that he would create a stable environment not only for his potential wife, but also for his children.

Bucky, on the other hand, oozed the aura of a charming, slightly unpredictable boyfriend; he made everything still exciting and fresh; he allowed the belief that you both still had enough room for mistakes.

You closed your eyes and let out a heavy breath. Steve glanced at you, raising his eyebrow questioningly. “Still not throwing up,” you stated. For a brief moment, you had an urge to bombard Steve with questions; you wanted to know if Bucky had ever been in a serious relationship; if he thought Bucky would last in one. But that would only deepen your paranoia; besides, you weren't convinced about the idea of getting to know Bucky through the eyes of others.

When the car stopped in front of the apartment building, you got out, grabbing your purse and the high heels you had taken off earlier. You intended to make your way to the apartment barefoot, because you couldn't even imagine putting on those uncomfortable shoes again.

“Oh, sorry. I left some glitter in your car,” you said, noticing shimmering specks from your dress on the seat. To be fair, you also had glitter in your hair and on your skin, so you thought you were equally victimized. “Well, a lot of glitter actually…” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Turning off the engine, Steve gave you a smile. 

“You don’t have to walk me to the door,” you asserted right away, seeing him getting ready to leave the vehicle. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. A security guard is sitting inside, there are also some cameras…” You shrugged. “I’ll be fine.” 

Steve didn't insist – he kept providing you with this illusory sense of freedom. So you said goodbye and headed to the entrance, having previously promised to text him as soon as you crossed the apartment threshold. Steve's car disappeared only when you got inside the building. On your way to the apartment, you were thinking mainly about the contents of the fridge; for the last few hours your stomach had been getting only alcohol and salty snacks in really small portions – so now you were craving something decent.

As you slid the key into the lock, it refused to turn – the door was open. A wave of uneasy heat immediately swept over you, your stomach dropped. For a second you wanted to go back downstairs; perhaps Steve wasn't so far away yet, you could call him and wait with the security guard. Or outside. Anywhere, but not there. At the same time, you tried to keep a cool head and think rationally – what if you simply forgot to lock the door? After all, such things could happen. But there was no room in your life for such incidents. Bucky had you watched for a reason. 

In the end, you decided to take possibly the stupidest, yet least dramatic step – you cautiously went inside. There was pitch darkness everywhere, which normally didn't scare you, but now you had no idea what was hiding in it. Too paralyzed by fear, you didn't even think to locate the light switch. You moved ahead – telling yourself repeatedly that it was probably just your paranoia, that you had actually forgotten to lock the door. If not, you had an open escape route – all you had to do was run down the corridor and get out of the apartment, then take the stairs, not the elevator.

Noticing a small red light smoldering in the darkness somewhere from the living room, you froze in stillness. Your body went numb, so unable to make any further movements, you stared at the spot. A recognizable rustling sound reached your ears, and immediately afterwards the vivid light of a lamp burst in the room, shining down on the silhouette sitting beneath it. Your tired, frightened, alcohol-soaked mind refused to believe that it was Bucky in the chair. Not only because, given the length of his absence, you hadn't considered his return in the nearest days – he also looked a little different than you remembered. The first thing that caught your eye was his thick beard; technically, it covered half of his face. Still, you could easily see his mouth stretched in a lazy, amused smile. His hair also got a little longer, and he looked even bigger, even more beefy, but these changes were not so drastic – you picked them up because you knew Bucky's body very well.

He let out a puff of smoke from between his lips, then put out his cigarette in the crystal ashtray placed on the armrest. “Hi,” Bucky spoke, his voice a bit muffled by the smoke coming out of his nostrils. 

All negative feelings and real concerns were gone, but your heart was still racing like crazy. However, you weren't sure if it was due to the fear slowly leaving your body or at the sight of Bucky. You wanted to feel happy; you wanted to be able to get excited about the much anticipated return; you wanted to throw your arms around his neck, but in reality you felt really weak – on the verge of passing out. You dropped your shoes and purse on the floor, and rested your trembling hand on the doorframe.

“I scared you, huh?” He slightly tilted his head to the side.

“Yes,” you replied quietly; your voice still didn't feel steady enough, and your throat remained painfully tight.

“Good. You'll remember to take someone with you next time.” Bucky sounded strict and lecturing; as if he was about to bend you over his knee. 

You watched each other – you looked at him a little warily, not sure where you were really at, what you should say or do, and Bucky was sizing you up in no rush; he studied closely your skimpy, not very covering dress with a deep neckline.

“Where were you?” There was no hint of possessiveness, jealousy or anger in his voice; only pure curiosity. Just as during your phone conversations over the past months, he wanted to know about your day; he wanted to know everything. He could have asked his people, but he trusted you to tell him the whole truth.

“At the club. With my girls.” 

“Were there any guys..?”

You nodded, not taking your eyes off him. “As it is in clubs.” You shrugged. “Full of guys.”

“Poor fellas. Wish I could have seen their faces when they realized all they could do was look at the prettiest girl in all of New York.” Some boyish delight surfaced in his smile, and a pleasant warmth spread over your body. Why would he say all these things if there was any chasm between you? There was no chasm.

He didn't seem impatient, but watched you with gentle anticipation, and soon patted his thigh in an inviting manner. Without a second thought, you moved from your spot and finally straddled him. In all this longing, you forgot how good it felt to be surrounded by the warmth of his body, his scent; how much your body fitted into his, as his thighs felt like the most comfortable place in the world.

“I was kind of hoping you would be happy to see me.” Bucky winced barely noticeably. “Is this about me scaring you? I'm sorry,” he said with remorse, although just a moment earlier he was eager to teach you a lesson. He placed a tender kiss on your cleavage, and your skin burned in that spot. 

“I am happy,” you replied, smiling softly. You couldn't let him think otherwise. “I just-”

You wanted to confess all your fears to him, because you knew he would either confirm or get rid of them. But when Bucky lifted one of his hands to your face for a purpose you had no chance to know, your eyes caught the movement and registered something else. You quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand closer to get a good look at it. Bucky was wearing a wedding ring. And it appeared that he didn't put it on on the plane or right after he arrived; he must have already worn it in Italy, because when the ring slid a little higher, you noticed a pale, untouched by the sun mark that stood out on his tanned hand. 

“Got one for you, too.” Bucky smiled with satisfaction, but that gesture was sprinkled with a bit of caution. “And a few other things. But first, I'd rather hear what’s bothering you.”

You knew you should tell him; after all, a couple months earlier you yourself had made it clear to him that you needed to speak your minds more. But you didn't want to ruin the peaceful atmosphere. You were both too tired for this conversation. Besides, with or without explanations, you were no longer worried about your relationship – Bucky was here. Right by your side. And there was no sign that he was about to break your heart; unless he was about to crush it with affection.

“Nothing is bothering me,” you claimed with another tender smile, hoping that was enough to distract him from further attempts to get the truth out of you. “You surprised me. I thought I would be able to get ready for you coming, but instead, I'm a mess. A little bit drunk, sticky mess,” you said, which came easily, because you weren't actually lying; you imagined the conditions under which you would celebrate Bucky's return a little differently. Even with all your worries. “I thought it would be more, I don't know,” you shrugged, “perfect maybe..?”

Bucky seemed to accept this version. Perhaps because – considering his exhaustion – you produced far too many words for him to process. “The next time will be more perfect.” The smile lingering on his lips took on a lazy expression. 

You shook your head at his words. “There will be no next time, not in the near future,” you said with conviction, as if his unconventional schedule depended on you. “You're not going anywhere, because I'm not letting you.”

He let out a quiet laugh. “In that case, I can go out and come in again.”

“Alright, but you'll have to wait until I hang the banner and inflate balloons.” You raised your eyebrows. The lightness and playfulness surrounding you made you forget the past months. Your concerns and insecurities blurred in the way Bucky looked at you. “Now, show me what you brought me,” you added with theatrical excitement. 

“You little materialist…” Shaking his head with just as exaggerated disapproval, Bucky reached outside the chair and grabbed a paper bag. He placed it between your bodies, but you had no pressing need to look inside it. Instead, you watched Bucky almost with fascination; his movements as he slid his hand into the bag. When he pulled it out, his fingers were embracing a small, velour box. Having taken the object carefully, you opened it; the ring Bucky mentioned was waiting inside – a little narrower than the one he wore, but otherwise looked basically identical. “May I?” His gentle tone immediately caught your attention. Without thinking, you turned the box toward him; he pulled out the ring, grabbed your wrist gently to stabilize your hand, and slid the ring onto your finger. 

You stared at it, and when you lifted your gaze back to Bucky's face, you caught his eyes stuck on you. “Thank you,” you whispered. 

“It's just a little something I should have taken care of much sooner, huh?” he said, and the bag rustled again. Your lips parted in surprise and amazement when this time he took out a scented candle. He laughed softly as you grasped it right away, almost snatching it out of his hands; you guessed from its size and neat, minimalist label that it was one of the more expensive ones. 

“You remembered…” Still stunned that he had bought something with you in mind; something almost personalized, you glanced at him, but quickly returned your eyes to the tag. "Tuscan Dream of the Sun..." you read out loud, raising an eyebrow. You opened the lid and brought the candle to your nose.

“Is this how you imagined a Tuscan dream of the sun?” Bucky furrowed his forehead. In response, you moved the candle closer to his face. “I smelled it earlier,” he protested, nevertheless, he inhaled the scent instinctively. “I'm not sure what dreams of the sun smell like, but this smells like oranges. And vanilla.”

“Ohh, right,” you replied, enlightened by the answer you were looking for. “You're right…” You pulled the bag in your direction to put the candle back in it. In the process, you spotted another velour box. “Did you buy another ring? For your mistress?” you asked provocatively, but not angrily. 

“Mhm.” Bucky nodded with a sly, lazy smile resting on his lips. “You can take a peek. Tell if she will like it.” 

So you reached for the box – a little bigger, flatter than the previous one – and opened it. To your eyes appeared a necklace – a thin, delicate chain with a gemstone in a light, icy shade of blue. 

“And?” Bucky asked softly. “Does she like it?”

Without taking your gaze off the necklace, you nodded. “It's really pretty,” you answered in a hushed voice and looked at Bucky. “What's the occasion?”

“No occasion. It's just a gift. So I can keep an eye on you.” He shrugged gently, lifting the corner of his mouth in a not particularly enthusiastic expression. Only then did you realize what the color of the stone reminded you of – Bucky's irises.

For a brief moment he said nothing more, watching you put on the necklace; how you fastened it in front of your face and then turned the lock back, making the pendant rest on your neckline. 

“I'm sorry,” he spoke in a more serious tone. His hand slid over your bare calf, and combined with the contrite, even pained expression on his face, the gesture seemed extremely tender to you. “For not being here. You agreed to marry me, and then I left you alone. For so fucking long-”

“Hey.” You put your hands on his cheeks, casting a determined look on his helpless eyes. “You had no choice. Okay?” In response, Bucky nodded barely noticeably. “It was hard for me, that's true. But the fault doesn't lie with you. It never even crossed my mind,” you stated firmly. You chose to ignore the fact that a bunch of other, more or less disturbing things popped into your head while he was gone. “And I'm not saying this because I'm your wife, and it's my job to support your every decision. I'm saying this because you didn't do anything wrong. I'm saying it because I understand.”

He turned his gaze away and chewed on his bottom lip nervously. There was still a look of worry on his face telling you that Bucky didn't quite believe your words. He was completely different when you found him in the apartment, and you didn't know what had happened during those several minutes. Maybe he remembered all the responsibility and effort that comes with being a husband? Whatever it was, it spread in his mind like a poison you didn't know the cure for. You couldn't get into his mind, and he didn't want to make his thoughts available to you in any other way. Or, perhaps, after all, he sensed that there was something you didn't want to tell him, and he returned the favor?

Despite your slight resignation, you plastered a weak smile on your face and tucked a strand of Bucky's hair behind his ear. He closed his eyes, accepting this tender gesture; absorbing its warmth. “You’re tired,” you remarked. “You should go to bed-” You rose gently with the intention of getting off his thighs, but Bucky's hands quickly found their way to your hips; he held you down, pressing you back against his body. He gazed at you again, a little calmer this time, and with a visible exhaustion that you were absolutely right about. 

He reached up to touch your cheek, his fingers slipped into your hair. He pulled you in carefully, then pressed your lips together in a delicate kiss; as if testing whether you still accepted his mouth on yours. When, without much thought, you welcomed and reciprocated the kiss, he slipped his tongue into your mouth – he remembered your taste, and when he realized how much he loved it, he let out a low grunt. Pleasant warmth spread throughout your body in a devastating wave – it almost completely washed away any barriers.

He soon pulled away from you. “You are tired, too. And a little drunk, right?” He asked, studying your face intently. 

You nodded, not intending to deny it. Bucky drew you to him again; this time he placed a tender kiss on your forehead. You dropped your eyelids, feeling a peace spreading throughout you. He may not have been your boyfriend, or your not-for-real-husband, but he was your home, your safe haven.

a/n: feel free to share your thoughts, they are more than welcomed 🥰

taglist: @goldensunflowe-r @nefri-black @vickie5446 @learisa @sjsmith56 @aya-fay @hhiggs @wishingwell-2 @buckysgirl01 @emily-roberts @prettylittlepluviophile @leaaa008 @itvy5601 @melsunshine @pattiemac1 @marvel-fandom23 @rabbitrabbit12321 @xsecretsirenx @heyyitsreign @xhollycowx @samfreakingwinchester @thrnlvr @samjuarezzz @loustan90 @kandis-mom @abaker74 @gabshouse @casa-boiardi @globetrotter28 @fand0mskullfa1ry @iateall-yourcookies @swordofawriter @theroyalmanatee @midnightvitality

[rrcraft-and-lore]

Monkey Man and why I loved the heck out of it

At it's core, it's a Bollywood flick presented to the West with familiar nods to previous action films - I definitely picked up hints of Tony Jaa's influence on Asian action flicks throughout.

It's heavily focused on police corruption, something commented a lot about in India, and here, more importantly, Indian films. Just like America has its love affair with mobster flicks, Bollywood has a long history featuring films that showcase police corruption, sometimes tied into political extremism, fanatical or greedy religious leaders, and Monkey Man comments on all this as well and pays nods to that commonality. We've got televangelists and religious leaders in the states funnelling money, preaching prosperity gospel, and using it to influence politics and fund lavish lifestyles here.

Monkey Man shows this happening in India, and is filled with Indian culture and symbolism through out. The focus on Hanuman, the god and one worshiped by the strong, chaste, wrestlers, champions, and fighters. It's a common thing to have a household deity if you will. Some families might choose to focus worship on Ganesh, others Hanuman, some might do Mata Rani or Lakshmi. Here, it's the divine Vanara (monkey people race) - one of the Chiranjivi - immortals/forever-lived.

Hanuman. Themes of rebirth, common in South Asian history and mythology are present from Kid being a ringer, beat up fighter getting whooped for money to being reborn and facing his trauma through a ritual/meditate process that I don't want to get too much into to not spoil the movie. Post that, he begins his own self alchemy to really become the true Monkey Man. Nods to Ramayama, and an unapologetically Indian story featuring dialogues throughout in Hindi - don't worry, there are subtitles.

And of course a love for action flicks before it, all the way back to Bruce Lee. A beautiful use tbh of an autorickshaw (and you might know them as tuk-tuks in Thailand) which are popular in India with an added kick...I swear, that thing had to be modified with a hayabusa motor. Which is an actual thing people do - modding those dinky rickshaws with motorcycle engines, and considering they weigh nothing at all, they can REALLY FLY once you do that.

Monkey Man brings to the big screen other elements of India people might not know about, such as the gender non conforming and trans community that has a long history in India, presenting them as action stars as they go up against a system of corrupt elites oppressing part of the city, marginalized communities, and minority voices as depicted in the film. I'm not sure if people are going to get all of that without having the context, but I love that it does it without holding anyone's hands.

It's a fun action flick to see in the age of superhero films, and I say that as an obvious superhero/sff nerd. Also loved that Dev included a little bit about Hanuman's own story in the film, and the loss of his powers - almost mirrored by Kid's own loss of self/skills, strength until he confronts his trauma and is reborn, and in fact, remade (not necessarily the same). Also, the use of music was brilliant, including one scene with a tabla (the paired hand drums of south asia) - and Indian music is central to Indian stories.

This is a culture with evidence going back to the Paleolithic with cave murals showing art of Indian dance nearly 30,000 years ago. Yeah, that far back. As well as Mesolithic period art depicting musical instruments such as gongs, lyres, and more.

Indian music is some of the earliest we can find that has high developed beat and rhythm structures such as 5, 7, 9 and now the extremely common and known 4/4 and 3/4 - which so much of Western music is built upon. The foundations and experimentation of/in Jazz. John Coltrane and John Cage were heavily inspired by Indian music and incorporated a lot from it into their works. And Monkey Man blends Eastern and Western music through the narrative as comfortably as it does an Indian story in a very familiar Western accessible structure.

Dev did a wonderful job. And thanks to Jordan Peele for bringing it to screens.

[ramsashi]

My LIs from Romance Club

Sails in The Fog: Sebastian???

Moonborn: MAX!! OH GOD HE'S SO COOL!!

My Hollywood Story: Mike

Queen in 30 Days: Queen in 30 Days: I used to like Adam, but he started to creep me out in the final season, so now I'm aiming for Richard and Leonard for the achievement. LMAO

Shadows of Saintfour: Luke Morring (or should I call the bootleg version of young Leo DiCaprio? LMAO. TBH, I wanted to have Ethan as the main LI. too bad, he was not even a casual LI.

Wave Patrol: Jake (I initially wanted Alek, but he's in jail for a long time?? How can an FBI agent wait that long for his freedom?)

Seduced by The Rhythm: Hiro (I broke up twice with Charles because of him. lmao)

Chasing You: Alexander Nielsen (EDWARD & CHRISTOPHER were tempting!!)

Heaven's Secret: NO NEED TO PURSUE ANOTHER LI, STAY LOYAL TO HIS MAJESTY, LUCIFER

Legend of The Willow: KAZU ALL THE WAY <33

Path of the Valkyrie: Now is Ullr (I didn't know that I have to stay single to pursue Thor. I'm going to replay this book)

Rage of the Titans: Adrian (the old flame is still on fire 🔥)

Sophie's Ten Wishes: SEXY BENEDICT <33

Sins of London: Not impressed that much with Glasthyn, Should I replay this book to pursue Sherlock?

On Thin Ice: Dom

Arcanum: Liam, my softie heart <33

Gladiator Chronicles: SO HARD TO CHOOSE A LI in this book. I ended up with Paulina, now I want to pursue Stortia

Heart of Trespia: Wyatt, my softie boy

Kali: Call of Darkness: Amrit (although I've tried to pursue Killian or Ratan to the end, I failed)

The Flower from Tiamat's Fire: Niall

Theodora: Lawrence!! replaying this book 3 times, only ended up choosing Lawrence all over again.

The One Volume 1: Deshawn

PSI: UGH...I'M NOT SURE WHICH ONE I LIKE THE BEST NOW. KAY OR JONAS??? I MEAN...ALL OF LIS are COOL. I'M REPLAYING FOR IVO NOW.

Vying for Versailles: FIRST LI IN RC UNIVERSE THAT MADE ME HEAD OVER HEELS, ALEXANDRE. He's still the best compared with King's romance path. I'm now looking for a happy ending with Prince

The Desert Rose: ADIL!! But now I'm replaying for pursuing Zain, then perhaps Mustafa and Jack in the future. I'm also curious to explore Zain or Adil's disloyal storyline. This book has really made me feel conflicted about my choices.

Heaven's Secret 2: STILL LOYAL TO LUCIFER. I've also had Astaroth's ending.

Elite Tag: Karl, now replaying for pursuing Daniel's ending

The One Volume 2: BEN!! HAHA LAST-MINUTE DECISION TURN AWAY FROM JOEL

Dracula: A Love Story: I'm not sure who I'm going to pursue in this book. I might end up with Hasan in the end. I mean, I was getting bored with Vlad and Leo's routes 🫠

Love From Outer Space: Never expected that I'd pursue an Alien Prince. lol

Hell and High Water: CHAND!! OH MY GOD. HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!

Song of the Crimson Nile: So, once upon a time there's this man named Livius, but then there are Ramesses and Set also

Chasing You 2: Still Alexander. I mean...his cgs are way too hot compared with the first book

Love, Sin & Evil: Tony is still the best I guess?

W Time Catcher: THERE'S LUCIEN...BUT WAIT, THERE ARE RENATO AND ONYX ALSO.

Kali: Flame of Samsara: No need to choose another LI, just RAM my baby

Garden of Eden: Seonghwa <33

Soulless: Walter is such a softie baby, my heart melts for his big puppy eyes. but then there's this bickering man named Vincent 🤭

Astrea's Broken Heart: Not sure which LI i'm going to end up with. I mean, they're all gorgeous!! the closest one may be Raphael??

Heaven's Secret: Requiem: GREG AND CAIN. I'M TORN BETWEEN THEM!

7 Brothers: still having my eyes on the sweet vanilla Grant

And the Haze Will Take Us: I laid my eyes on Ozar (of course) and Volot

The Thunderstorms Saga: I might pursue Tai in this book. TOO BAD, THEY DON'T MAKE LADY TENNERLY AS AN LI.

[stxrvel]

birthday love present

pairing: steve rogers x f!reader

words: +4k

warnings: some bad words, age gap (steve's his canon age), reader has a lip piercing.

note: hi guys! this is my first time writing on the steve side. ive been trying to write this one for a long time and the inspiration finally came in today and i think im proud of this one so i hope you guys like it too! this oneshot is from a request i had some time ago that said:

Imagine being Tony Starks daughter and having a massive 21st birthday party at the tower. Despite her younger age either bucky or Steve is in love with her and they end up kissing at the party. Tony sees this and absolutely FREAKS!! Calling Steve/bucky (...) some shit cause he’s technically like 100 and it’s her 21st birthday. Mama pepper wouldn’t be super upset and calms him down and it ends in fluff of course lol

you can read some other works at my masterlist! also, if anyone has a request feel free to send it to me as a message or an ask!

The Tower had been filled with color that night. The pastel pink reigned in the decoration that your parents had put together and you couldn't have been more delighted, it was everything you had dreamed of. The music was perfect, you sang and moved to the rhythm of your favorite songs; all the people around you enjoyed as much as you did that huge birthday party. The food was sensational, there was a whole table full of all your favorite dishes that seemed endless.

Of course the best of all was the bar. Natasha tended it with finesse and mischief, she was the best of the bunch making cocktails. And she only winked at you every time you came back to the bar for another shot as if you hadn't just walked by two minutes earlier.

You had lost sight of your parents a while ago, but you were having an amazing time with your friends singing at the top of your lungs and dancing until your heels burned. You didn't want to take any breaks, you wanted to enjoy every moment of that party to the limit.

Every once in a while you would run into some of your father's friends and say hello. The whole Avengers group had attended that party, although you had asked your mother not to invite them because it would be weird, even though you saw them as a family. She obviously didn't care and so at that moment you were stuck in a bay surrounded by testosterone, with a Norse god telling a weird story to the whole assembled group. There was a pile of bottles and cans on the floor that you couldn't help but grimace at.

“Everything okay?” You heard next to you.

Steve Rogers was to your left, leaning a little closer to you so you could hear him over the loud music. His short blond hair was messy enough that you could tell he was having a good time too, and his light eyes were exalted, as if he had just come running up to where you were. But you didn't know if you could answer him with him so close.

Your history with Steve was… kind of complicated.

Tony Stark was your father, so consequently you used to spend quite a bit of time at the Tower and you knew all the team members as if they were your own family, even though you'd only met them a little over a year ago.

Steve was captivating from the first moment. Maybe it was that lopsided smile that took over his face every time you greeted him or said goodbye, or the way he would throw his head back when he laughed at something you said, even if you didn't think you were very funny, or the way he was always so considerate and cautious when he addressed you.

You didn't know exactly how it happened, or maybe you did, but there came a time when you simply wanted to go to the Tower just to see him. Tony would gladly take you along, completely unaware of your reasons, hoping to spend quality time with you and show you the latest inventions he had designed. But you were always waiting for the moment when he would show up.

And that was perhaps a serious problem. Because he was your father's best friend, or something like that, or because he was exaggeratedly older than you even though he spent 80% of his life inside that plane on the ice and basically time stood still for him. But for whatever the reason, you never told anyone, not any of your friends or your mother who was your confidant, there was even a time when you fought those feelings because you knew no one around you would understand, not even your parents. And you didn't think you could bear their disappointed looks.

Carrying that secret inside your chest used to not be difficult, you considered that you were very good at hiding those feelings and those longing looks. However, you had never put that statement to the test while drunk.

“I'm fine,” you slurred the words and frowned at how terrible that had sounded. You cleared your throat to speak again, but Steve was quicker.

“It seemed to me like you weren't enjoying Thor's amazing stories.”

“Ah,” you laughed slyly, moving your hair off your shoulders and turned to look again at the group of people gathered at the front listening to the other blond's words. “No, it's very entertaining. Not at all like the stories he has told before.”

Steve sketched a smile and through all the noise you could barely hear his laughter. It was only at that moment that it bothered you terribly that the music was so loud.

But his blue eyes rested on yours again and the words and thoughts evaporated in your head. A rational thought ran through your head telling you that maybe you couldn't disguise the lamb's eyes much with alcohol in your veins, but you very responsibly decided not to pay attention.

“You look good,” the blond shook his head looking at you down to your toes and you felt your ears heat up. “Finally 21.”

You didn't lose sight of the way Steve's eyes moved to read the band across your body, the one that Pepper, your mother, had put on you before you arrived at the huge party on this floor of the Tower. You felt a shiver run down your back and you straightened up unconsciously.

“My mother gave it to me,” you commented, trying to shake off the tension you felt in your shoulders from the intense look he was giving you. Or maybe you were just feeling it like that.

“I figured as much. Tony just took care of the money then.”

“Actually,” you moved a little closer to Steve to talk about the music, as he leaned next to you too and you felt shivers run through your body, “my mother told me he chose the color of the decor and the food.”

Too close to be true, you saw him nod at your words and his hair almost brush your cheek as he pulled away so he could see you. You felt your stomach do a flip and for a moment you thought you were going to throw up. Anxious, you fiddled with the piercing you had in your lower lip.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

You shook your head embarrassingly fast in a nod.

Steve moved to walk towards one of the two exits the bay had, which led directly to the bar Natasha was still tending. You followed closely behind him, with a bubbling feeling in the pit of your stomach.

He had dressed in a basic white shirt and a royal blue jacket that brought out his eyes beautifully. You remembered well that you had once told him that that blue looked great on him, and that in general dark colors really brought out his eyes. You didn't want to think that's why he had chosen that jacket, but…

Steve leaned over the bar where Natasha had already approached to greet you two and smiled before speaking.

“A shot of strong coffee for the lady here,” the man gestured to you.

You stood there for a few seconds staring at his perfect smile before realizing what he had said. Natasha barely nodded before heading over to the coffee machine Tony had set up in the corner of the bar.

You frowned at Steve, your hand moving to bump against his arm in a playful action.

“I'm not drunk!”

“You're very red,” he replied, after letting out a laugh that you could hear more clearly as you were further away from the speakers. His head moved to where Natasha was standing and you took a moment to see his arm resting on the bar, where the sleeve of the jacket was tucked up and clinging like a second skin. “I don't think it's a good idea for you to arrive dizzy like this for the pie game.”

“I'm just fine, Steve,” you slurred the words again and mentally cursed your lousy alcohol tolerance. You hadn't even had that much to drink, the party had only started about two hours ago. What did he want? For you to sit around drinking orange juice until you split the cake? No, how boring. “I'm lucid enough to break pieces of cake for everyone at this party.”

Natasha arrived with a ceramic mug and set it down in front of you on the bar. You would have preferred to leave it there, but maybe it wouldn't do you too much harm to take it?

“It's better not to take any chances anyway,” the redhead leaned her arms on the bar and gave you a smile.

“Argh,” you frowned at both of them and grabbed the mug to take a long sip. “Neither of you trust me.”

“Well, I can only say that one of us would blindly trust you with our lives, and I already have a person for that,” Natasha commented very nonchalantly as you continued sipping your coffee, and you barely noticed the look she shared with Steve before she walked off to the other end of the bar.

“What was she talking about?” you asked Steve once you let go of the cup.

The blond shrugged in man. “She sometimes just says cryptic things and goes off like that. I'm used to it.”

You nodded agreeing with his words. You were already feeling the effect of the coffee and were starting to see a little clearer. Well, maybe you were a little drunk. And maybe you needed a little more coffee.

-

Steve very kindly made you another coffee and you sat down right in front of him to watch the whole process as if you had never seen anyone make coffee in your life.

When you finished it, you let out a sound of approval drawing a smile from him.

“This was much better than Natasha's.”

“No one makes coffee better than she does.”

“You do! You should make coffee more often. In fact, you could start a coffee shop.”

Steve smiled broadly and you rejoiced at the butterflies in your stomach.

“I think I'm going to stick to being an Avenger for now. But maybe I can make you coffee every time you come over.”

Your eyes sparkled at the prospect. “I'd come by every day, Steve.”

“I'm counting on that.”

“Maybe you'd get tired of seeing me so often,” you twisted your lips into an expression of mock regret, lowering your gaze and wiggling your index finger over the rim of the empty cup. The black remains of the coffee made an odd figure that painted the white ceramic background.

“I don't think that's possible,” Steve muttered, and if it hadn't been for him coming over the bar and the music not being so loud you wouldn't have heard him. “I like having you around.”

“Really?” you raised your head, your facade fading.

“Sure. You're like the life of the party. Everything's better when you're around.”

Hearts flew around you as you saw the smile he was giving you. Just for you. You felt like fireworks were about to explode all around you and the anticipation of having him closer gnawed at your insides. Your fingers tingled and your heart was pounding.

You just had to get a little closer and…

“… and where's the birthday girl?”

You broke off suddenly.

Now you felt like your heart would pound out of your chest, but from fear.

You turned around as Steve rounded the bar to leave, and found your father walking toward you with his arms outstretched. Beside him, your mother was smiling tenderly at you.

“Come, honey, it's time to sing happy birthday.”

You stood in front of the cake, a bunch of smiling faces in front of you. The lights began to change color and dimmed. The atmosphere was a little more closed in, but it was perfect. You watched as the people in front of you sang happily, celebrating another year of your life, a whole year of experiences and changes that you had accepted with patience and love. There was nothing more at that moment that you could ask for to make it perfect. You had all the people you loved around you and delicious food, what more did you need?

The song ended and you blew out the candles. Your wish was a secret even to you.

The cake was passed around and you even had repeat servings. It was delicious.

But the party didn't stop there. After the cake the music continued and the drinks kept coming. You decided not to drink any more for the moment, at least while the food went down a bit because you had also stolen a few bites from the table full of your favorite dishes when you thought everyone was distracted.

Your parents hugged you at least five times since then and had reminded you how proud they were of you, all you had accomplished and the woman you had become. You couldn't have been happier.

Sometime during the night you slipped off to the bathroom. You arranged your hair that was quite messy from all the dancing before you left.

At the end of the hallway, reaching the stairs to go down to the party, you found Steve and Clint watching from above. They both greeted you as soon as you arrived. You noticed how, poorly disguised, Clint pushed Steve closer to you.

The blond cleared his throat as he walked over to where you were.

“How've you been doing so far?”

“It's been amazing! It's the best birthday party I've ever had,” you commented to him with a huge smile.

You heard Clint cackle sonorously and Steve in front of you rolled his eyes. But he smiled at you when their eyes met.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

You stood static for a moment, before replying, “Yeah, sure.”

Steve calmly led you back down the hallway you had traveled from the bathroom and they stopped at a safe distance.

You stood there for a few seconds, in somewhat awkward silence. Steve seemed to be thinking deeply about whatever it was he wanted to tell you, and his hesitation did nothing to help calm the anxiety that was beginning to course through you from the tips of your hands to the way your stomach sank.

Already your palms had begun to sweat when Steve finally spoke.

“I wanted to talk to you about something that… I don't know how you're going to take.”

You passed saliva despite the lump you felt in your throat. you didn't know what to expect from his attitude, because he looked too nervous and almost worried, you could say scared. you didn't want to expect the worst, so you waited for him to continue.

“What happens is that I… I wanted to tell you that… I don't expect you to take it the wrong way or reciprocate, I mean, you can say no…”

Steve was silent once again, avoiding your gaze. Your head was racing a mile a minute and it filled you with nerves to think that maybe he was going to say what you wanted him to say, what you wanted to hear and what you wanted to tell him too. But how… perfect would that be? You had imagined it so many times, but what was the likelihood that it would actually happen?

“I love it when you laugh,” Steve spoke, pulling you out of your head. His determined eyes looked anywhere. You felt a warmth blossom in your chest and you were sure your eyes must have looked like two crystal balls because of how bright they must have been. “And when you have that giant smile on your face that could light up an entire city. And I love when you tell me what you do in the day so animatedly that you don't even realize you're moving your hands too much. I also love when you dance like you're the only person on the dance floor because you sparkle. And I love how your eyes look in sunlight or moonlight, how they shine so bright I feel like I could orbit around them…. I just- I…”

“I like you too, Steve,” you interrupted him, noticing his frown.

His head moved quickly to stop looking anywhere but at you, and you could finally meet his beautiful blue eyes. His chest was heaving, almost as much as yours as you realized what had just happened. For a moment you thought that, if that was all you could do, just look at each other, you might stay right where you were for a long time. His warm, welcoming eyes roamed over your face and more than nerves and anxiety you felt very excited, so much so that you could run through a field of flowers. A smile was making its way on your face and he promptly followed you.

When it seemed that his nervousness had left him, you felt his hand brush yours. You took it without a second's hesitation.

“You do?” he asked, his voice cautious but full of excitement.

“Yes!” you replied, your smile widening. You squeezed his hand and pulled it closer to your body.

Before you gave him time to process what was happening, you crashed your lips against his.

The fireworks exploded.

You felt him tense as you rested your hands on his shoulders, but it was a matter of seconds before he let go.

His lips assaulted your mouth, delicate but passionate. It was everything you wanted and so much more. A love so fierce it could sweep away everything in its path. Your lips welcomed his, hoping this would not be the last time, and his hands clung to your hips with a promise to never let go. It was soft, desperate, tender, wild, all at the same time. Steve seemed to want to take his time savoring that moment, but at the same time he wanted to take it all at once and leave you breathless.

His body moved until you bumped against the wall and his hands squeezed your skin. The sensation was new, welcome and maddening. Now that you had tasted him you didn't think you could ever stop. His sweet scent flooded all over you with your hands tangled in the strands of his hair. His hand on the back of your neck pressed you against his lips and you felt infinitely close, but you still wanted more.

You felt like you were going to explode into a thousand pieces when you…

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING?”

Steve turned away from you before Tony finished speaking.

You turned to see your parents in the hallway and Clint off to the side of them, an apologetic grimace on his face.

“Dad-”

“Get away from her. NOW.”

“Tony,” your mother put her hand on Tony's shoulder, who was looking at Steve as if he wanted to fly him out of the Tower.

Your heart was pounding wildly, a sour feeling making its way into your chest.

“I'm sorry, Steve. I turned the volume down and got distracted for a moment and they just appeared out of nowhere,” Clint tried to approach, but Tony's deadly stare drew him back a few steps.

“DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS? AND YOU LET THEM?”

In the midst of all that flurry, you turned to look at Steve. His face was nothing compared to the happiness he had radiated a few minutes ago and it contracted your heart. You moved closer to him, alerting him a little as he continued to watch Tony's argument with Clint and Pepper trying to calm them both down.

You took his hand without taking your gaze from his and when he turned to look at you you didn't like the fear you saw in his eyes.

“LET HER GO!”

“Tony, that's enough,” Pepper grabbed his arm preventing him from getting too close to the two of you.

“Are you out of your mind? You're like a hundred years older than her!”

“Dad, stop, you don't know-”

“She's my daughter, Steve!”

“I know, Tony, and I'm sorry, but-” he paused, his hand squeezing yours in support. “I can't apologize for that. I love her. I swear there's nothing stronger than that, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her either. I know it's hard for you, but I've been holding this in for so long and it's because of you, because I knew you'd react like this and I can't go on like this.”

Your father held his gaze on Steve, his eyes a blaze of burning anger and for a moment you feared he wouldn't relent. But Tony moved letting out a snort and walked over to where Pepper stood. She put her arms around him and murmured some things to him that you couldn't hear.

You turned to see Steve, who already had his gaze on yours. It was electrifying. You didn't think that he would ever really look at you in that loving and caring way as he was doing at that moment. You felt at peace for the first time, without having to pretend around him or around anyone else. You could finally show all that you had inside instead of holding it in.

He gave you a small smile, but enough to give you the strength to argue with your father if necessary.

Tony sighed audibly and you both turned to look at him. Your father passed his gaze over both of you, as if hoping to find some response. You squeezed Steve's hand in preparation for anything.

“Just…” Tony clicked his tongue. “Do you think you'll be okay with him?”

The question surprised you, and even more so his warm look, but you nodded quickly.

“Yes.”

Your father shook his head, thinking to himself, before looking back at Steve.

“This… is going to take a good while, Rogers,” he pointed at him with his index finger, accusingly. “You better not screw this up.”

Your mother smiled at you, still wrapping her arms around Tony, her fingers massaging his tense muscles. You heard Steve's positive response and your father looked at you again.

“Fine,” he nodded. “Fine, whatever. Don't ever do that around me again,” he dismissed them by waving his hand and started to walk away down the hallway. “I can't believe it, Pepper, since when?”

“Actually, love, I'm surprised you barely noticed.”

“What do you mean?”

Steve walked over to Clint and put an arm around his shoulders. The latter grimaced shaking his head.

“That's the last time I'm counting on you, Barton,” Steve patted his shoulder amicably before walking away again.

His gaze met yours and he extended his hand toward you.

“I already apologized, Rogers, what else do you want?”

You took Steve's hand and pulled him in the direction of the stairs with a huge smile, not waiting for him to respond to Clint, and squeezed his hand when you could see the party still going on downstairs.

“So we're really doing this,” you heard him murmur, and you turned to give him a resounding kiss on the cheek. His lips curved.

“We're really doing this.”

You didn't know what the future held, but you were more than willing to face it head on. You walked down the stairs moving your clasped hands back and forth, feeling the happiest you could have been in a long time, more complete and loved than ever, and you knew the smile on Steve's face said the same as yours.

You hoped that wasn't the last time you would hold his hand that tight.

[neonponders]

For @billyhargrovebingo​ ​

~ read on ao3 ~

C1 - Android

• • •

A hospital was a strange place for quality time. Mostly, it was the carpool journeys there, since everyone needed regular visits after Starcourt. Tinnitus, concussions, and blood tests were just a few of the situations they were all dealing with.

And if Steve wasn’t available, it’s because he was already at the hospital. Max had a newly instated VIP seat in his car, much to the annoyance of Dustin (who wanted Steve’s time and attention) and Lucas (who couldn’t help but feel cast aside).

Max couldn’t really blame them for not caring about her brother. Hell, she didn’t understand her own depths of affection for him until recently. The shrinks of the hospital kept talking about the Five Stages of Grief as if she were supposed to give a shit about five processes.

Max was thoroughly stuck in the bargaining phase. And she’d stay there until whatever god finally delivered his side of the bargain.

Turns out, it did. Billy Hargrove was alive, and after a long surgery where Steve Harrington of all people held Max’s hand and gripped her shoulder during her erratic mood swings of crying, Billy woke up.

A pacemaker. The god keeping her brother alive was a little, man-made, battery powered device making sure the rhythm of his heart kept time with the right music.

Max could barely make out what the doctors were saying in the hallway. It was a load of information for her mom and stepfather - two people who seemed radically different after July fourth. Neil Hargrove was...just a man. A man who had been humbled down to his knees when he learned that his son was alive, but with a caveat. And her mom...Max could see her visibly overwhelmed with the steep learning curve for taking care of an intense trauma victim.

The device will need to be replace every five to seven years, but that’s routine procedure, nothing to worry about. I daresay, he’ll be able to live a normal life - so long as he stays away from cigarettes and anything more chemically advanced than food. He’s going to be a walking miracle. Four stomach pumps, almost a dozen blood transfusions, a scattering of fractures...that young man has a hell of an angel on his side. While the bones are recovering, I want weekly x-rays and monthly MRI’s. The physical stuff we can handle, but as for his psychological wellfare, that will be a tougher, longer journey...

Max blinked stupidly, because with the doctor’s voice droning out the background hospital noise, it was hard not to focus on Steve Harrington laying a big fat kiss on her brother’s mouth.

It was desperate, like Billy was his water in a desert...but gentle, like Billy were made of tissue paper and Steve was terrified of leaving a dent or wrinkle.

Max peeked at the window, worried her mom and stepfather might notice, but they were entrenched in the crash course for Billy’s new instruction manual -

“You don’t get to die,” Steve croaked. For some reason, witnessing Steve crying shook Max’s core more than her own parents’ tears. The guy just...didn’t do that. It was a little too easy to ignore an anchor like that until his rock was lying in bed with more injuries than a fresh eighteen year old had any right to have.

Steve’s hand cradled the junction of Billy’s skull and neck. Blue eyes blinked up at him, not fully conscious, but also not interested in anything other than a sky of big, doe eyes. “Not with a battery in your chest, you damn robot.”

The next day, Dustin chimed, “So he’s like Ironman?”

Lucas frowned at him. “It’s not a pacemaker in Tony Stark’s chest, dude.”

“But it’s protecting his heart. It’s kind of like a pacemaker.”

“It sounds more like a built-in defibrillator.”

“What the hell is that?” Dustin exclaimed.

Lucas pantomimed rubbing his fists together and then connecting them to Dustin’s torso with a jolt of his body. Dustin understood and nodded, “Oh, those medical electrocution things...Where are you going?”

Max sighed as she shouldered her backpack and swung her skateboard underneath her arm. “Turns out, the hospital has the best parking lots for skateboarding. Later, nerds.”

Under her breath, she remarked, “I’d rather watch two idiots make out than whatever this is.”

For better and worse, she got her bargain.

[missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway]

Go Ahead And Cry (Eff Being Friends Interlude)

Eff Being Friends Interlude

Ex!Steve Rogers x POC!Goddess!Avenger!Reader “Ci” Bucky x POC!Goddess!Avenger!Reader “Ci”

Summary:

Some time has passed but the wound from letting Steve go is still fresh. Everyone is trying to navigate the shift in their own way. With the return of Loki & Thor for the annual Halloween party, buried emotions resurface. Maybe another lesson is in order for America’s Golden boy?

Warnings:

18+ MDNI, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Gods and Goddesses, Exes, Voyeurism, Halloween

Notes:

Hello Heathens! Thanks to “Cry” by Benson Boone (link in lyrics used), I felt compelled to write a little interlude for Eff Being friends as I continue work on the next installment. Steve still has some pain to go through before the groveling starts.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Banner by @cafekitsune

I always did enjoy Midgard in what was known as “Fall”. Being able to blend in during the so-called Spooky Season was always a treat. Allowing me a chance to let my darkness stretch its legs and play. 

This year, I must admit that the wickedness that resides within me has reached a new height. 

After all that jealousy and bruised ego business with Steven that happened over the summer; my claws have a newfound taste for blood it would seem. And while Bucky more than satiates my thirst. I must admit that feasting upon the agony of a man torn apart by his own misdeeds, unwilling to accept fault in his own demise, tastes all the sweeter.

From across the room, a crowd of partygoers between us, I can feel the tension and envy radiating off of America's Golden Boy. Even clad in furs and leather like the hunters of old I can see the stiffness of his shoulders and clenching of his jaw. As Bucky returns with a fresh drink in hand, I observe as Steve's eyes take on that narrowed jealous glare they’ve grown accustomed to.

Sure, it's not present all the time. But it has been making a reappearance as of late. Come to think of it, once Thor & Loki showed up, the glare became almost permanent. Has this man learned nothing?

I can't get physical with him because this place is packed with mortals and well we mustn't spook them. Now providing entertainment on the other hand. That's just enough to make it sting while I remind him of his failure.

I can't help the smug smile that makes itself known as I ponder on my plan of action.

“That face looks like trouble. What are you cooking up in that dangerous mind of yours?” Bucky whispers in my ear.

“Nothing special. It's practically harmless. I said I'd be on my best behavior and I intend to keep my word.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Don't you trust me Wolfie?”

“With my life.”

“As you should. Now if you'd please excuse me, I need to find Tony.” My eyes quickly scan the crowd. Finding him and his smoking jacket rather quickly. “Tony! I have a quick question…”

In the heart of the dimly lit ballroom, where the shadows dance and laughter intertwines with the whispers of the night, I emerge from the crowd. 

Draped in a slinky black dress that clings to my curvaceous form, I move among the party goers with an otherworldly grace. The long black locks escaping from my messy updo, cascade like dark waterfalls down my exposed back. My amber-colored eyes flicker with intensity, captivating the crowd as they glimmer like molten gold against the backdrop of swirling costumes and flickering candles.

As I make my way onto the makeshift stage, a hush falls over the room. With a nod to the band they begin to play a soulful tune.

I tried to hide it through the silence while I played along I'm welling up behind my eyelids when I'm holding on To the rage, so badly, I hate it And I wish that all of-

“Nah, nah, nah, that doesn't feel right” I turn to the guitarist, “Maybe, uh, speed it up.” The drummer beats out a steady rhythm. “Yeah, that's nice.”

I really hate the way you think that you can get away By blaming all your stupid problems on your mental state I'm tired of burnt-out lies, ooh You think you know me, but you hardly even know yourself I'd bite my tongue and let you think I only wish you well I don't, I know you know it, ooh   And I'm tired of letting someone get the best of me, so go ahead and- Cry, cry Go ahead and ruin someone else's life Cry, cry Go bug somebody else, so I can sleep at night

My voice, seductive and haunting, wraps around the audience like the silken threads of a spider's web. Echoing the enchanting call of a siren from ancient tales, as they lured wayward souls into the depths of the ocean. Each note is dripped with emotion. A potent blend of pain and rage I direct at Steven, who stands among the revelers, caught in the web of my melodious spell. 

The air thickens with tension as I unleashed the raw power of my deep buried heartache through song. Weaving a tale of betrayal and longing that resonates within the depths of every soul present.

Mmm, you're more narcissistic than anybody in Hollywood You're not a misfit, don't keep sayin' you're misunderstood I'm tired, oh, I'm so tired, ooh   And maybe you're the honest type And it's been me the whole damn time I should really try to calm my mind and see things from your side   Or, maybe you can Cry, cry

The crowd sways, entranced by my haunting melody, as I transform the party into a realm where heartbreak and beauty intertwine. Making even the darkest of spaces shimmer with an enchanting light.

Go ahead and ruin someone else's life Cry, cry Go bug somebody else, so I can sleep at night Cry, cry Go ahead and ruin someone else's life Cry, cry And I'm tired of letting someone get the best of me, so go ahead and- Cry, cry Go ahead and ruin someone else's-

As the song promptly ends, I lock eyes with Steven’s ocean blues. The jealousy and rage seem to have been replaced with longing and hurt. A pain that matches my own. Feeling rather exposed and vulnerable, I quickly flick my wrist with a flourish and disappear from the stage. Reappearing in a darkened corner occupied by the God of Mischief himself.

“If you sang any longer I was sure these mortals would have broken into war amongst themselves or an orgy. Dont know which one I would have enjoyed more.”

“Please, there was no way I was emitting that much power. I have a strong grasp on my magic. I just made them feel a little amped up. What they do with that energy is up to them.”

“As much as I enjoy your company, who are you hiding from my dear? I doubt it's your soul bonded.”

“I’m not hiding. Just taking a moment to breathe.”

Loki eyes my form from head to toe.

“I must admit, you look rather fetching this evening. And without the hint of a glamour. How lovely.”

“That’s the best part of this holiday. I get to just be me and mortals compliment me on it. It’s great for the ego. Hurts a bit on the soul if I’m honest.”

“I’m sure the Captain plays a part in that more than these mere mortals.”

“How so?”

“You have your soul bonded back, which should make you feel whole once more but you’re not.”

“I love that I get to have Bucky out in the open. It healed a good part of me.”

“Yes, but not enough. Remember, I know you inside and out my sweet. You may not have branded him, but the captain left his mark on your soul. That piece is tainted now and you have no idea what to do with it.”

“I have to agree with Loki on this one, Doll.” Bucky, having quietly made his way over, makes his presence known. Placing a kiss to my shoulder as he hugs me from behind.

“Using your costume to your advantage I see. Blending in with the shadows. Keeping watch like a Sentry of old.”

“Nice deflection.”

“I’ll make note of your observations and sort them at a later date. Can we just enjoy the night, please?” I turn in his arms, reaching up and ghosting my fingers along his sharp jaw. 

“Of course.”

“Good, because I need you to help me dispel all these pesky mixed emotions and pent up energy.” I grab on to his hood and pull his mouth down to mine. The kiss is deep and emotional. Letting him know without words, my need for him to help me correct this turn the night has taken. 

Pulling apart he leans forward and places a kiss to my forehead. It’s all the acknowledgement I need to know he will take care of me. With my hand held securely in his metal one, he leads us out to the private patio that is currently unoccupied.

“Steve, you look so tense. Let me help you out.” Sharon declares before placing her hands on his shoulders and beginning to massage them.

She has been trying to get and keep Steve’s attention all night and he can no longer take it. He shrugs her off, removing her grip from his body.

“I need some air.”

Rushing off he heads out to the private patio.  Where he stumbles upon Bucky and I sharing a moment. 

I’m against the wall, a joint between my fingers, while Bucky leans over me with one hand on the wall. The other is currently under my dress thanks to its high slit. As I inhale, filling my lungs with the potent medicine only mother nature can provide, Bucky slides two thick fingers inside me. Filling me up all the same. 

I hold in the moan for as long as I can. Eyes closed as I let the ganja settle in deep. Opening my eyes I am met with Bucky’s smoldering gaze as his fingers play along my sweet spots. Taking me right to the edge as he teases my g spot. 

Running purely on instinct I pull him down to me and give in to the pleasure. Shotgunning my hit with a kiss. Sharing my high with my White Wolf. My quiet moans fill the air as I come apart on his fingers.

Unable to look away from the sensual display in front of him, Steve moves into the shadows. He’s sure I’m aware of his presence, but I seem not to care.

I don’t. 

With eyes beginning to glaze over, Bucky withdraws his fingers from within me. They glisten with the essence of my slick. After a playful inspection he places them in his mouth and licks them clean. Pressing his forehead to mine as my taste coats his tongue.

“We seem to have an audience. Should we take this inside?”

“No. If he wants to torture himself by watching us together, so be it.”

With a kiss to the chin and a devilish smile I silently drop to my knees. I undo his belt and zipper, gazing up into his eyes as he remains leaned over me, looking for permission to continue on.

“I am so very green right now.”

With a chuckle I reach into his pants and pull him out. His thickness is making my mouth water as a pearl of precum leaks from his tip. My tongue traces the same path until his head is perched between my lips. Without a second thought, I open my mouth and take him to the back of my throat. Only satisfied once I feel the hair along his pelvis tickling my nose.

His head tilts back and his right hand fists itself in my hair. Using me as an anchor to keep himself upright.

Steve can’t deny how watching his best friend and ex lover together is affecting him. The leather pants he adorned for this costume have grown uncomfortably tight the more his body reacts. As if on autopilot, he reaches down, untying his pants and pulling the front down enough to release his throbbing cock.

Holding the base with his left hand he spits into his right and begins stroking himself. Keeping pace with the bobbing of my head as I please Bucky with my talented tongue.

Time stands still as I am down on my knees. Mind focused on giving my partner the most pleasure my mouth can provide. Earning myself a growly moan accompanied by a salty treat deposited on my tongue as a reward for a job well done.

I rise up, back to standing. A satisfied grin on my face and a belly full of Bucky. His metal hand wraps around my throat and I am pulled into a deep kiss. 

“I wanted to come inside you, Goddess mine. You took that away from me.” He growls.

“I’m sorry.” I tease. “I just couldn't help myself. You just taste so damn good. I wanted a belly full.” 

“You’re going to pay for that later when we get home.” 

“Promise?” 

He pins me to the wall with his hips. “Promise. Now zip me up so we can head back inside. You still owe me a dance.”

I quickly zip him back up. Making him presentable once more. 

With a slap to my ass he sets us on our way back into the party. Before we reach the threshold I can’t help but open my mouth.

“I hope you enjoyed the show Steven. Don’t take too long to clean up.”

I’ll never tire of the energy lust filled gyrating bodies create. It’s like a sweet ambrosia filling my veins, invigorating me with every sway of my own hips. I must thank whoever requested Ed Sheeran's “Shape Of You”. I’m practically drunk off of my own magic from the surge.

Bucky has me held tightly to his front as my body undulates and moves with the sensuous beat. His hardened member is holding court betwixt my ample bottom, as he reminds me of what his hips do so well.

As the heat level rises; the dancefloors' movements begin to straddle the line between sexy and obscene. I’m unsure if this is my doing or not as my magic does have the capability to lower one's inhibitions. Nevertheless it is not of my concern at the moment. 

I can feel the unmistakable tingle along my spine of eyes on me, as I raise my arms up to wrap around the back of Bucky’s neck. He leans down, raining kisses along my shoulders until he reaches my ear.

“You noticed our little voyeur, haven’t you?”

“I sense the eyes, but have not sought out the face. But it seems as though you may already know who they belong to.”

“So do you. His eyes rarely stray from you these days. Even when he is trying to be discreet.”

“Didn’t he get enough of an eyeful earlier out on the patio. I left him breathing after all.”

“So cruel. He must have hurt you deeper than I thought.”

“Don’t. He chose this path, not me. Were his actions different the outcome could have been all the sweeter.”

“Still dreaming of starting that Harem I see.” He chuckles.

“It’s the least a goddess, such as I, deserves.” I sigh. “One day. For now you are more than enough to satiate my needs. Body and soul.”

“So no Thor or Loki?”

“Don’t go that far. That would be a waste of godly talents and I can’t have that now can I?”

Having made his way back indoors. A rosy hue to his cheeks from his loss of control. Steve's eyes remain glued to the dancefloor. Focused on the movements of Bucky and I’s bodies as his mind wanders back to a simpler time.

“I figured you would have just waved your hand and magically applied your makeup.”

“I could, but I rather enjoy the methodical process of donning one's war paint.”

“I’m not complaining. Especially when it leaves you in this lingerie for longer. You're making my trousers very uncomfortable at the moment. Might have to rectify that.”

“And how do you intend to do that? We need to be downstairs in 15 minutes.”

“You can sit on my cock. Keep it nice and warm while you finish dolling yourself up.”

I quirk my brow at him in the mirror.

“Show me how hard you are and I’ll deem if it's worthy enough to sit upon.”

He unzips his slacks and pulls out his rock hard length. It’s already dripping with precum.

“Alright. Come have a seat. I’m not taking my panties off though so you’ll have to pull them aside and maneuver me yourself.”

“With pleasure.”

He sits on the velvet bench behind me. Placing a kiss to my lower back as he moves the gusset of my thong to the side. Holding onto it with his thumb as he lowers me down onto his waiting cock.

He groans when my ass meets his pelvis. “Perfect fit.”

“Good. Now let me finish up.”

He can’t keep his hands to himself as I try and navigate applying my lip liner while filling so full. As he grazes my lace covered nipples my pussy gives an involuntary squeeze to his girth. The next thing I know, Steve is standing up and bending me over the vanity.

He pulls his hips back and slams them forward. Setting a quick and fast pace as he rearranges my insides. I am overwhelmed by the pleasure he is giving my body. Using me like his own personal cock sleeve. Before I know it his fingers are circling my clit and I am coming undone.

The pulsing of my walls around him sets Steve off. With a gasp and a whimper he unloads deep inside me.

Laying a kiss between my shoulder blades, he pulls out. Maneuvering my thong back in place as our eyes meet in the mirror.

"Be a good girl and keep that warm for me.” He grins. “I want you thinking all about me as my cum slowly leaks out of you all night while we party it up with our friends."

“You haven't moved from this spot in a minute. How ya holding up man?”

Sam’s voice breaks the memory and slams Steve back to the present.

"Fucking miserable. Not only did I chase my girl away, but it was right into the arms of my best friend."

"Technically he had her first."

Steve’s glare in Sam’s direction could melt ice.

"I'm just saying. And isn't she still hooking up with the demigods too?"

"Guess so. I wouldn’t know. I just wonder, was I not enough for her?"

"You know it's not like that man. I think you were too possessive of her while having the freedom to explore the things and people you wanted to. Without giving her the respect to do the same."

"That's bullshit."

"Is it? You essentially kept her from a chosen soulmate because they didn't want to run the risk of hurting you just by bringing up their past. You made your choice man."

"But what if I made the wrong one?"

"Then you have some tough decisions and talks ahead of you."

With a slap of encouragement to the shoulder, Sam walks over to a smiling Nat, leaving Steve to his thoughts once more.

[dherzogblog]

songs/22

The "Press and Play"list version (click the links for music and extras) songs/22 playlist

1. Elvis Costello -“Farewell, Ok”: A garage rock burner with a bit of the attitude that made E.C. the dean of the class of ‘77. 2. Band of Heathens - “Carry Your Love”:  A monster hook, and every time I hear this it, it makes me think of Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. That's a good thing. These guys also released a cool Covid covers album this year. 3. Nikki Lane - “First Time: On-the-rise outlaw rocker recalls her 80's high school rock roots. It features my favourite lyric of the year: "Take me back to the first dream, 501 blue jeans, tighter than god damn Springsteen”. 4. Lucuis- “Next To Normal'': Produced by Brandi Carlile, this deceptively funky tune has been in my head for months. 5. Khruangbin/Leon Bridges: From "Texas Moon" the lone star state collab and follow up to 2020’s "Texas Sun". The adventurous and vibey, Khruangbin have become one of my favourite bands. 6. Lizzo - “It’s About Damn Time”: "It’s bad bitch o’clock". 7. Elle King - “Honky Tonk Disco Nights'': Been listening to Elle for a while now as an emerging star in Americana/Country world. But on this one she makes a left turn teaming up with Chic’s Nile Rogers on this country/disco mash-up. "Dance, dance dance". (Hollywood Fun Fact #1: Elle the daughter of comedian and former SNL cat member Rob Schnieder). 8. Say She She- “Pink Roses”: Slinky cool and danceable, this Brooklyn based female trio love Nile Rogers too. So much so, their band's name is a sly nod to his group. "Yowsah, yowsah, yowsah". 9 .Stone Foundation - “Heaven Knows Why”: Smooth disco grooves and wah- wah guitar from UK soul revivalists. Bell bottoms and platform shoes not included.

10. Dreadzone - “Dread Town”: The eternal spirit of 2-Tone lives on this bouncy single from veteran British reggae/dance outfit featuring lead vocals by Emily Capell who borrows the style of Amy Winehouse and the attitude of Lily Allen, on a joyous celebration of London's multi racial musical melting pot. 11. Pearl Charles -“Givin it Up”:  Last year I stumbled on Pearl’s brilliant ABBA inspired “Only For Tonight” and was subsequently blown away by the whole album. She’s back again with another lush and luminous 70’s styled single whose swirling strings, memorable hook, and slyly funky finish made it one of favourites of the year. (Hollywood Fun Fact #2: Pearl is the daughter of Larry Charles ofSeinfeld/Curb fame). 12. The Dip - “Real Contender”: Big horns and big hooks from a Pacific northwest band that gives me Jamie Cullum vibes. 13. Mapache - “Light My Fire”: Cosmic folk rock harmonies for your mellow mood. 14. River Kittens - “Hate To Break It”: Speaking of harmonies, this break-up torch ballad sounds like it came straight off Shelby Lynne’s country/soul masterpiece, “I Am Shelby Lynne”. 15. The California Honeydrops - “In Your Arms”: More soul horns and a chugging Stax rhythm from Oakland outfit who sounds like they may have been fans of Oaktown homeboys Tony! Toni! Tone'! 16. The Harlem Gospel Travelers - “Nothing But His Love”: Nope, this is not a gospel tune, just some sweet vintage styled soul and harmony in praise of a higher power. 17. Miko Marks/Ressurectors “Feel Like Going Home”: Rising star Miko Marks and the guys may actually get closer to church on this one. Her album has blues, country, and gospel influences, think The Staples Singers and The Band on the "Last Waltz, All of which reminds me there was a pretty great posthumous release this year from the late Leon Helm and the very much alive Mavis Staples.18. Lee Bains + The Glory Fires - “(In Defense of the) 40 Hour Work Week: Blue collar country rock in the spirit of The Drive By Truckers.

19. Titus Anddronicus - “Give Me Grief”: A jangly, angsty pop anthem from post punk Jersey boys. 20. Pinegrove - “Alaska”: More catchy indie pop from Jersey (Montclair!) 21. Wet Leg - Wet Dream: Isle Of Wright indie pop duo exploded on the scene last year with two great singles, "Chaise Lounge" and this one. A proper album was released in '22, so the song still qualifies, and I get to make up for missing them first time around. 22. Hurray For The Riff Raff - RHODODENDRON: Always moving in new directions, Alynda Segarra and crew are back. This time they bring the spirit of The Velvet Underground with them. 23. Melissa Carper - “Ramblin Soul”: Old-time Texas Swing from the woman they call the “The Hill-Billie Holiday”. 24. Taj Mahal/Ry Cooder - “Hooray Hooray”: Roots rock veterans and former Rising Sons bandmates reunite over 50 years later to pay tribute to blues legends Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee. Hooray Hooray indeed. 25. North Mississippi AllStars - “See The Moon”: These guys have always drawn on the southern rock and blues they grew up on. The connection runs deeper on this album with the addition of Lamar Williams Jr, son of former Allman Brother Band bassist Lamar Williams. 26. Wilco - “Falling Apart” (Right Now): I’ve enjoyed all of Wilco’s sonic explorations over the years. but If I’m gonna be honest, I always loved their early alt country outings the most. 27. Reigning Sound - “Lonely Ghost”: This long running Memphis garage rock band broke up late last year…but they released this Dylanesque single early this year. So, have they “ghosted” us or not? Either way, it’s the final rattle of a hard working band at the end of the road, but going out defiantly.

28. John Doe - “Never Coming Back”: Former X-Man John Doe reminds us you can’t go home again in this dark, moody song with a memorable hook that will stick with you and your subconscious. 29. Valerie June - “Use Me”: No, not the classic Bill Withers tune, (it actually has the opposite sentiment), She has an idiosyncratic vocal style, but like Bill Withers, Valerie June is the real deal. 30. Deslondes - “Good To Go”: A charming world weary tale of hard luck and never giving up. 31. Billy Swan - “Don’t Be Cruel”: Season two of “Euphoria” opened with this haunting 1974 cover of the Elvis classic and it blew me away in much the same way the show does. I couldn't stop listening to it for weeks.

If you got this far...thanks for checking it all out. I appreciate you. Hope you all have a great holiday season and I look forward to seeing you in the new year. Peace, Doug

Los Angeles, December 2022

[absolutementality]

Media Log - Guitar Hero III

The game that (didn't) start it all. Well, it did for the people at Neversoft. This was their first game, and also the most popular Guitar Hero game to have ever released, probably because it came out on everything under the sun, after being PS2 exclusive (excluding a 360 port of GH2) for 3 games.

Neversoft took over from Harmonix (well be hearing about them if i ever get to the Rock Band games) after Guitar Hero: Rock the 80s. These are the people who did Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and honestly probably didn't have the qualifications for making a guitar rhythm game, especially after taking the helm from an entire team of musicians.

This is also the first game to not consist of covers, but rather the original releases of the songs (and before you mention it, yes I know there were a few songs that didn't use covers in the original 3 games. This is not the point). Rock Band and later Guitar Hero titles kept this up, though this game is definitely the worst with it. Songs have inconsistent sound quality and inconsistent volume, such as Paint it Black being really quiet compared to other songs.

This is honestly the bog standard of what a Guitar Hero game should be and feel. The background visuals look good, the gameplay feels fine, and the songs they chose are overall pretty good. If your game looks and feels worse then this, you have failed. I'm not saying GH3 is bad, even though it has some issues performance wise on the ps3.

The gameplay feel is perfectly fine. It has some general issues but works well for what it is. I do think Neversoft continued to make the game feel better game after game, even if World Tour is an overall worse game then this one.

The graphical style is great, It's amazingly stylized, working off what Harmonix had been doing in the previous 2 games. (If you ask why I say 2, Rock the 80s is nearly identical to GH2.) A lot of the characters have pretty decent real time physics which is nice to see in a game like this. The general UI feel is kind of outdated (still using a per-play high score mechanic for Quickplay like arcade games, though this game did get an arcade port so...) but still works really well for what it needs to do, and doesn't do anything outright wrong.

Neversoft wouldn't start doing full motion animation for specific songs till Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, so this games venue animation is overall pretty boring, though nothing is outright bad about any part of it.

The game was the first to get a decent amount of DLC support (GH2 only got limited DLC in its 360 port) and had an exclusive song for the PS3 version from God of War II. The 360 version had a remix of the Halo theme. I didn't grow up with nor have I played God of War II so the novelty of a God of War song is lost on me.

This song went on to be the hub of PC Guitar Hero for a while, having hundreds on hundreds of custom charts for it on PC (and I believe 360?). It wouldn't be until Clone Hero that GH3 was truly replaced, which CH based its gameplay on.

I give this game probably a 7.5/10. This is the general floor of a guitar hero game for me, either this or Guitar Hero 2. If you look worse then this, if you play worse then this, or if you sound worse then this, you've failed. I'm not saying you have to be as stylized as this game, I'm not saying you have to be graphically better then this game, just that the game shouldn't look cheap.

[whatsonmedia]

Thrilling Thursday Extravaganza: 10 Summer Fest Frenzy!

Celebrate the kaleidoscope of life as July unfurls its vibrant petals, revealing a symphony of music festivals, mouthwatering gastronomic wonders, and mesmerizing cultural fiestas. This month is a kaleidoscope of possibilities, ready to paint your memories with an eternal brushstroke. Step into the rhythm of the festivities, savor every delectable moment, and let the enchanting allure of July's magic whisk you away on an extraordinary journey. Get ready to dance to a tune only July knows, for this month promises a symphony of experiences like no other! Elrow Town 22 July Photographer: www.lukedyson.com Awarding-winning Spanish super clubbing brand Elrow hosts one of its famous mega summer outdoor parties.  It's likely to be a sell-out event where 25,000, party-loving people all up for an epic time this weekend. The party is taking place in the UK's capital city for one big marathon dance extravaganza where no expense has been left-out on the production set up, that includes mammoth stages, elaborate décor, stellar entertainers and also, so much more, ensuring Elrow Town is one of the unforgettable dance music parties for the summer of 23, and one that is not to be missed on your dream clubbing bucket list. However, Elrow Town fans know this is one of the stand-out festival, where the party crowd like to go all out on dressing up to the nines.  Festival golden tickets holders can expect a carnival clubbing atmosphere like you've never experienced.   Everything is OTT from this prestigious super-club event brand.  The DJ line-up is off the chart with DJs flying in from all over the globe and also includes some of the finest UK DJ royalty such as Gorgon City, Patrick Topping, Armand Van Helden, Alisha, Toni Varga, Dj Yoda, Ariel Free, Bamboleo, Bastian Bux, Ben Hemsley, DJ Paulette, Florentia, Nicolas Caprile, Oh My God Its The Church, Raw Silk, The Brothers Macklovitch are just a few to mention of the vast list of entertainers.For Tickets & More Info> elrow.com On The Beach When> 22 July The annual dance music pilgrimage is back by demand.  The truest dance music lovers are heading out from all corners to take Brighton by storm this Saturday to see one of the biggest and legendary king of the DJ turntables. Carl Cox takes over Brighton’s famous pebbled beach setting the south coast on fire for one of the biggest beach parties in the UK this summer.  The last two beach parties were so successful they both sold out in record-time those that missed out on this golden ticket event were begging and blagging to get their mitts on these special tickets.Carl Cox has a reputation that has seen him travel the globe 10-fold for his non-stop DJ touring road-trip making him a superstar in a league of his own.  What he brings to the turntables and dance floor is a party where you keep dancing all night-long.  And to make this open-air music feast the best it can be is for the sun is shining high in the sky again this year to give it the Ibiza festival feel. It’s another golden ticket event for Brighton On The Beach summer series that has become a highlight on the festival calender. And the DJ master on helm of the wheels of steel won't be going solo this Saturday as Carl brings some of his best DJ friends to make this one unforgettable dance events on the beach. The line-up also features the one and only Franky WAH, Syeeta, Keeq, Russell Small, Sasha & John Digweed and maybe a few surprises. It’s going to be a big one!For Tickets & More Info> carlcoxbright.com Nozstock The Hidden Valley 20 – 23 July Nozstock The Hidden Valley is one of the best festivals of the summer season. Held in the rural outback of Herefordshire, the festival features a relaxed vibe and a lineup that includes a mix of big named music artists and up-and-coming talent. The music genres range from pop, ska, folk, funk, soul, indie, drum and bass, psytrance, and house music. There is truly something for everyone at Nozstock The Hidden Valley. The festival also features a wide variety of food and drink options, as well as plenty of activities and events to keep you entertained. From circus acts and theater performances to comedy and dance, there is something for everyone to enjoy. Nozstock The Hidden Valley is the perfect place to let loose and have a good time. Dress down or dress to impress, but a little bit of glitter wouldn't go amiss! 2023's lineup is so huge, it's going to be off the charts in terms of music entertainment. The lineup features a host of UK and international music artists, including Sister Sledge, Andy C, Bill Bailey, Gentleman's Dub Club, Submotion Orchestra, The Craig Charles Funk & Soul Club, Ibibio Sound Machine, Calyx & Teebee, Lx One, Flava D, Dirty Dike, DJ Sammy, Huey Morgan, Stanton Warriors, Dillinja, 24HR Garage Girls, Mollie Collins, Nicky Blackmarket, Kanine, Randall, Levela, Total Science, Nu:Motive, Utah Saints, Sonny Wharton, Dark Arts Club, Dom Kane, Phil Kay, Dity Secretz, and Sonny Wharton. The festival is sure to be a great time for everyone, so don't miss out!For Tickets & More Info> nozstock.com Latitude Festival When> 20 - 23 JulyWhere> Suffolk Much more than just a music festival. Expect colorful sheep roaming the tufty fields, opera on the lake, clowns under canvas, dance troupes, and a huge children's area. Who> George Ezra, Kiefer Sutherland, Mimi Webb, James, Paolo Nutini, The Kooks, Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott, PulpMore Info> latitudefestival.com Standon Calling When> 20 – 23 JulyWhere> Hertfordshire Beautiful boutique festival, in beautiful surroundings, which hosts a stella line-upYears and Years, Self Esteem, Bloc Party, High Contrast, Faithless, LF System, The Human League, Anastacia, Confidence Man, Dylan, Katy B, KT Tunstall, Groove Armada. Scouting For Girls, Django Django, Caity Baser More Info> standon-calling.com Tramlines When> 21 – 22 JulyWhere> Sheffield In its 15th year, Tramlines has become one of the best sell-out festivals in the region of Sheffield.  It's a festival that packs a punch, delivering on all the festival expectations and beyond.  Moving to its new destination at Hillsborough Park for 2023, the festival is a firm favourite created by its big atmosphere and the mega artist line-up outdoing itself each year.  This is one of the festivals that reaches a capacity sell-out. So, get your tickets quick The line- up features Richard Ashcroft, Courteeners & Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott, DMA'S, Blossoms, Kaiser Chiefs, Sugababes, Bloc Party, Sea Girls, Circa Waves, The Enemy (Special Guests), Pale Waves, Beabadoobee, Kate Nash, Katy B, Reverend and the Makers, The Zutons (Special Guests), Black Honey, Spector, Omid Djalili, Jonathan Pie, Paul Smith Scott Bennett, Raul Kohli, Myq Kaplin, Harry Stachini and more More Info> tramlines.org.uk Junction 2 When> 21 – 22 JulyWhere> Brentwood London Hosting the most iconic stage productions Junction 2 returns to its birthplace for the ultimate two-day festival packed with all the festival features in the heart of the UK summer alongside one of the best festival line-ups that dance music and festivals fans could wish for.  Taking up the ante this is one festival that sounds out in a crowd. The line-up features Underworld, Adam Beyer & Cirez D, Asch Pintura, DJ Tennis, Charlotte de Witte, Dixon, FJAAK, Hessle Audio Trio, Jeff Mills, Skin on Skin, Margaret Dygas, Sonja Moonear, Midland, Mona Yim, Nina Kraviz, DJ Stingray 313 More Info> junction2.london Bluedot When> 20 – 23 JulyWhere> Cheshire After a two-year break, this unique festival is an experience that offers a full-on program of music, science, arts, technology, culture, and film, similarly to no other open-air event around the globe. Expect off-the-chart live performances, DJ sets, conversations, workshops, hands-on experiments, exhibitions, and new experiences.The weekend line-up features 2ManyDJs, Adam Buxton, Annie Mac, Belief, Big Joanie, Black Country, New Road,  David Holmes, Divorce, Django Django, Grace Jones, Gwenno, Leftfield, Matt Winning, Max Cooper, Max Richter, Nihiloxia, Nish Kumar, Nubya Garcia, Pavement, Roisin Murphy, Supernature Disco and many moreMore Info> discoverthebluedot.com Penn Festival When> 21 – 22 JulyWhere> Buckinghamshire Taking place in the quintessential Penn village, the camping family-friendly festival with one of the best boutique festival DJ line-ups and top music artists to keep you having a top weekend.  Throw together workshops for the curative types, and upmarket food stalls to this returning festival with a cracking atmosphere. The line-up features 24 Hour Garage Girls, Artful Dodger, Bad Manners, Bastille, Brandon Block, Corinne Bailey Rae, Craig Charles, Dj Fresh, Dj Luck And Mc Neat, Ellis Dee, Embrace, Gaz Coombes, Johnny Marr, Jumping Jack Frost, Kenny Ken, Mr. C, Mr. Wilsons Second Liners, Musical Youth, My Nu Leng, Noel Gallagher, Not3s, Sub Low Hz, The Cuban Brothers, The Skinner BrothersMore Info> pennfest.net Truck Festival When> 21 – 23 JulyWhere> Hill Oxfordshire Truck Festival has announced its lineup for 2023, with Royal Blood, Two Door Cinema Club, and Alt-J headlining. Other acts on the bill include The Wombats, DMA's, The Vaccines, Self Esteem, Maisie Peters, Everything Everything, and Beabadoobee. Truck Festival is a three-day camping festival that takes place in Hill Farm, Steventon, Oxfordshire. The festival is known for its diverse lineup, friendly atmosphere, and relaxed vibe. Tickets for Truck Festival 2023 are on sale now.More Info> truckfestival.com Read the full article

[olivereactsaboutgarbage]

One Piece - Volume 30

That’s a nice round number.

Chapter 276 - Shandian Rhythm

LOL! It’s funny, because Wiper is saying “Don’t use my name in vain”, the classic religious rule about God, TO God. “God”. ““God”“. “““God”““. “““Jackass”““. Very nice, very nice. *golf clap*

I’ve been trying to avoid using roleplay asterisks within these posts, but... some things are just too important. *clenches fist while wearing a golf glove*

 And those things are golf.

The insufferable god uses a Harry Potter Patronus to kill Wiper. Zoro wants a turn with the kryptonite. The insufferable god uses a Harry Potter Patronus to kill Zoro. I see how it is... even though he’s gay, the insufferable god’s aligned with J.K. Rowling... just like Dumbledore...

Wiper goes back to not being dead. The insufferable god asks him why he’s bothering, since he’s about to go back to being dead, since the insufferable god is insufferable. Wiper has a backstory, but the insufferable god has sky lasers.

Nami is the insufferable god’s only non-dead enemy. She says they should be friends. The insufferable god says “Sure. I like having allies who are only my allies out of fear.” Nami says “YEAH I ALSO LOVE PRECISELY THAT SAME THING” while sweating.

Chapter 277 - Maxim

Nami decides to have a jetski while she allies herself with the insufferable god. The insufferable god thinks that’s a little silly.

I guess that’s one way to describe electronics.

In this case, the electronic device is a boat-shaped aircraft.

Hmm... I feel like there’s something grand and poetic I could say about how the snake’s purpose within this story is vore, which is a fetish, and by restoring Lufpy, the King of Fetishes, to relevance, the snake is relinquishing its own relevance.

Well I guess it could have taken Asia as a hostage. In doing so, it would have remained relevant, even after restoring Lufpy to relevance.

But it didn’t so now it’s irrelevant.

Which means I don’t need to think about anything grand and poetic to say about it.

Because who cares.

Sometimes I forget that, even though it’s not that way within the context of the list of chapter titles on Wikipedia, within the context of this translation, Zoro is actually one of the characters where I call them by a different name since I changed a single letter. Just like Coins, Wiper, Papaya, Asia, and no one else. Anyway, Lufpy

has a strange reaction to Zoro’s body here which I find interesting. It’s almost like Lufpy’s absurd amount of value placed on the bonds of friendship has merged with a disproportionate level of hero worship. I don’t think Lufpy is... correct, for this to be his first reaction to seeing Zoro, Tony Tony Chopper, Nico Robin, and the knight god badly hurt and ambiguously unconscious and Nami missing. He’s treating Zoro like Zoro held the burden of being an all-purpose solution to any possible way things could have gone sideways. Like some kind of a... Deus ex Machina. When has Zoro ever been one of those? Never. Someone else is the Deus here. And that person is also the one with the Machina. And that person also fucking sucks.

Also, sorry, I accidentally forgot to hit enter until I was already two words into writing the above paragraph. Sorry. I’m so sorry. That was... sloppy of me. I’m so, so sorry. *bows my head in apology while crying golf-ball-sized tears*

Nico Robin isn’t dead, and Asia is a radar, so Lufpy has all the necessary information he needs to head into this arc’s finale.

Chapter 278 - Conis

Wait, hang on, before I talk about Chapter 278, I just remembered yet another thing I wanted to say in my reaction to that one panel where Lufpy reacts to Zoro’s body: I wonder if Lufpy’s tendencies towards unconditional trust and deep hero worship will ever be truly shaken. Maybe when he finds out the redhead thinks South is colder than North, or maybe at some other point in the story. Guess I’ll have to keep reading to find out. Speaking of things I haven’t found out yet, why was the third friend named Rika?

Oh, it’s like the ultimate surveillance state. Nightmarish!

wOULD YOU LIKE TO

Coins runs over a cop with a motorcycle and says that God is bad. Conservatives hate her! Children hate her too, that’s why they throw rocks at her. Speaking of rocks, there aren’t any sky lasers at the moment. Speaking of sky lasers, I feel like I might have said “Coins is now dead” in one of my earlier posts. If I did, I was wrong at the time. If I didn’t, I’m wrong RIGHT NOW. Speaking of being wrong RIGHT NOW, people who hate Coins realize they’re wrong RIGHT NOW.

Coins is saying all kinds of uncontroversial things like “The insufferable Dumbledore expy isn’t a god, and there won’t be any miracles, because there is no kami in this country.” I love linguistics! I’m glad Coins was able to tell us that we shouldn’t worship government officials, and also there aren’t any government officials nearby at the moment. Linguistically. Through language.

Nico Robin, isn’t your power’s SIMPLEST APPLICATION carrying lots of things at once? Just give all your friends’ dead bodies way more arms, and then let the corpses use those arms as centipede legs. You know. Like something out of a horror movie. It should literally be that easy, no?

YAAAAAAAY!!! *the crowd erupts into cheers because someone just hit a hole in one*

Okay, I know Lufpy presumably has a voice which Nami would be able to recognize, but frankly I find the idea that Lufpy doesn’t have a voice because he’s a manga character, so Nami’s one panel of confusion was in part because she had no way of vocally identifying the speaker in that speech bubble, and then her realization in the very next panel is because she recognized Lufpy via speaking style alone, to be far more charming.

...Man I sure do have a bad tendency of writing run-on sentences. Time to let that sentence stand unaltered as eternal proof of my bad tendency of writing run-on sentences, for historians to find later, buried under lots of jpegs of dirt. Then they’ll add my bad tendency of writing run-on sentences to my McWikipedia 4.0 page. The free online encyclopedia that everyone can love, ba ba ba ba ba, now updated to once again change the definition of notability. Now, “notable people” and “people who hate Rick & Morty-themed hotels owned by McWikipedia 4.0′s parent company, Sony” are mutually exclusive groups. The fact that they weren’t mutually exclusive groups was a problematic issue the first three versions couldn’t seem to fix. That’s the kind of future where historians who need to unearth my bad tendency of writing run-on sentences will be living in.

And yes, I WILL be notable enough to have a McWikipedia 4.0 page.

For you see...

I...

AM...

Wait, hold that thought. I just remembered: I’m supposed to be talking about One Piece!!!

Chapter 279 - Pirate Luffy vs. Kami Eneru 

Okay, that chapter title was worth every “This chapter is named after a 1v1″ chapter title that came before it in this arc. What would normally be a ho-hum “yeah this is the one where the protagonist fights the antagonist” chapter title instead feels freaking baller, because all the other 1v1 chapter titles make it feel hard-earned. Consistently listing each combatant’s faction within the 1v1 chapter titles also converts a chapter title like this from “the one where Lufpy fights Eneru” to “the one where Lufpy fights GOD” for added epic. The only thing which undercuts the hype a little is that this chapter title has a typo in Lufpy’s name.

Some people don’t want to evacuate, even after Coins convinced them to convert to atheism, because they want to see their loved ones who were recruited by the military again. A cop says “Being near the military is a job for cops!” Thanks cop! Is this the first time in the entirety of One Piece a cop has been helpful through action rather than through inaction? The gluttonous cop helped Lufpy not get arrested by cops, but it was through inaction.

Oh wait no the palindrome cop gave Lufpy directions. I forgot! Yeah I guess ACAB doesn’t hold true in One Piece. It almost does, but not quite. I guess CAB is true. I guess TAXI is true.

See, this C’s not AB. He was just pretending! Joke’s on them! Ableist slur!

Why am I saying this again? Oh right. Proof for my thesis that One Piece has taxis in it.

*beats this man to death with a golf club*

Oh, this fight is very good. I mean, it’s mostly just a guy I hate using very powerful attacks, so despite how cool the attacks look I can’t wholeheartedly root for the cool-looking attacks, intercut with Lufpy standing around doing nothing, and then a sad face. This is the best fight in One Piece.

Chapter 280 - Floating

Lufpy has type-immunity to electric. Lufpy is a ground-type Pokemon! This is consistent with Lufpy being rice. You see... in the very same arc where we learned that Lufpy was rice, rice was on the ground!

The insufferable Dumbledore expy can’t use electric-type moves... but he now audibly realizes he has other moves. He starts doing “dodge the attack” and “hit someone with a stick”. Then he realizes sticks aren’t that effective and makes it a trident instead. Then he realizes dodging normally also isn’t effective and starts swimming through metal.

No... this is so sad... Lufpy’s least-fetishy special move... exposed for what it truly is: Something only Nico Robin can do... in other words, Lufpy tricking people into thinking he has Nico Robin’s capabilities... in other words, Lufpy altering people’s states of mind to make them believe in something that isn’t true... in other words, hypnosis fetish...

YES!!! THIS IS SO GREAT!!! This is the last fetish Lufpy needed to become powerful enough to slay a god! In my last post, I was briefly under the mistaken impression that Lufpy’s final fetish was vore, forgetting that he already had that one. However, all along, it was hypnosis. Heh heh heh... foolish Dumbledore expy! By debunking Lufpy, you have given him MORE POWER!!! This act will be your undoing!

But first, Lufpy will have to extract himself from the floor. While Lufpy deals with that, the foolish Dumbledore expy decides to go ahead and enact mass destruction like he was planning.

LMAO??? EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME, IS GIVING NAMI HIS HAT THE ONLY WAY LUFPY KNOWS TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER WHEN SHE’S IN A BAD MOOD?

Or wait, were both instances of him doing that because he didn’t want to have his hat on while he fought someone? Now I’m trying to remember what his head has looked like during his various fights, but I’m drawing a blank.

Chapter 281 - Deathpiea

Hmm... according to Wikipedia, this chapter’s Japanese name is “Desupia”. Is this line literally... “[I call it] despair. [It will redeem this world of] zetsubou.”

Asia is a firm believer in 1v1s. Good for her, she’s like five.

The foolish Dumbledore expy’s plan is to create a lightning cloud. Ah... I see... in this land, it’s a perfect synthesis between “execution” and “stuff”! Wait... the foolish Dumbledore expy is using “execution stuff” to “combat despair by enacting despair”... this is just Danganronpa. I think hundreds of chapters ago I said something about Kokichi being a blatant Lufpy ripoff? Well, it turns out Monokuma is just a blatant foolish Dumbledore expy ripoff.

Of course, the foolish Dumbledore expy’s trainer is a Pokemon NPC, and Lufpy’s trainer is a Pokemon PC, which means that when the person playing Pokemon inputs a move, the computer knows what that move is. Since the computer knows what move the person playing Pokemon input, the NPC knows what move the person playing Pokemon input. Since the NPC knows, the foolish Dumbledore expy knows. Therefore, Lufpy is seemingly unable to surprise the foolish Dumbledore expy.

Lufpy tries Passing every turn. Doing so raises his Defense to 100%, but lowers his Attack to 0%. Lufpy tries not having stiff legs. That’s a bit weird for him to do. Lufpy tries using a collision engine glitch. The computer wasn’t programmed to account for that, so the foolish Dumbledore expy is completely blindsided.

Chapter 282 - Desire

The foolish Dumbledore expy is now bragging that he’s pretty much already won. An apocalyptic event IS coming, and the only thing preventing the foolish Dumbledore expy from profiting from that event is merely Lufpy.

To prove how wimpy Lufpy is, he puts Lufpy’s arm in a hot golden ball. In Japanese-speaking countries, a hot golden ball is a hot human testicle. In English-speaking countries, a hot human testicle is a sexy human testicle. That foolish Dumbledore expy...! Lufpy already had enough fetishes to surpass a god! Giving him YET ANOTHER fetish on top of that is suicide!

Lufpy says that he’s not even the only person who’s stronger than the foolish Dumbledore expy--not by a long shot.

I.

I fucking forgot.

There were seven really strong guys.

And Lufpy only defeated one of them.

And they’re already looking for a replacement seventh guy.

...no wonder one piece is so long...

Nami changes her mind about wanting to be friends with the foolish Dumbledore expy. It turns out she only liked him for his lack of having killed Lufpy.

Meanwhile, what’s happening somewhere else, is...

Hmm... how do I make what’s going on here not sound like rape... in a way that’s consistent with the terminology I have injected into my reactions to One Piece... I already met my edgy joke quota last post... what have I gotten myself into this time...

Chapter 283 - On the Front Line of Rescuing Love

Phew... it was a false alarm. Usopp’s not unconscious. He even consented. I can say this without fear: Sanji is using Usopp’s penis.

I FUCKING TOLD YOU, NICO ROBIN! IT’S LITERALLY THAT EASY!

With regards to the sexy human testicle, Lufpy is breathing heavy and trying to get it off. Asia doesn’t want him to do things like that in places where she has to deal with it. Good for her, she’s like five.

Hmm... pedophilia... so much for avoiding an edgy joke overflow. Lufpy’s entire defeat scenario was kind of an elaborate gambit to put me in an “out of the frying pan, into the fire” scenario when it came to making an edgy joke. The fact that the foolish Dumbledore expy would do a thing like that to ME, the reader...! Yep. It’s official. The only thing missing from my hatred of the foolish Dumbledore expy that was present in my hatred of the glasses idiot was the out-of-universe level of my hatred. The glasses idiot was sort of poorly written, so a real-world reason for me to hate him was there. The foolish Dumbledore expy, meanwhile, isn’t poorly written at all. Now that the foolish Dumbledore expy has done an edgy-joke-catch-22 against me... a bad action with real-world consequences... he has crossed over into being my new most hated One Piece villain.

Fuck. Yes. This might be the best One Piece has ever been. This entire reading has been giving me the same “oh, One Piece is REALLY GOOD, actually” feeling I was getting at certain parts of the restaurant arc.

USOPP EX MACHINA??? USOPP DID THE THING THAT’S USUALLY RESERVED FOR ZORO??? USOPP DID IT??? BEST ONE PIECE ARC EVER???

Wait, don’t read the above paragraph. First, ignore the part of my recent character tier list where I said I liked Usopp less than Zoro now. Second, also ignore the part of this post where I said Zoro had never in his life been a Deus ex Machina. Okay NOW you can read the above paragraph.

Chapter 284 - Sorry

Ah, in my last post I talked about how offscreen villain-induced killings are a sexy little trope I enjoy. Another sexy little trope I enjoy, but this time a comedic one: People reacting to the situation they’ve walked into by doing a combo move where they chain from saying “I see” straight into closing the door behind them when they leave.

That’s like half the reason Chapter 169 is my favorite unadapted chapter of the Kaguya manga.

Heh... last time I mentioned Kaguya in one of my One Piece posts, I was able to successfully inflict torment on a single person. This time... I wonder... how many people will suffer in anguish?

Yeah... Nami and Usopp have my favorite character dynamic in One Piece. Probably because Nami is in it.

Uh... I dunno, bro... he attacks using electricity... and it’s an important instrument that runs off of electricity...

Usopp’s slapstick style of “combat” is not very effective against electric-type... does that make Usopp electric-type himself, steel-type, or flying-type? Well, I don’t think Usopp is anything like the foolish Dumbledore expy, so electric-type’s not it. Usopp’s good at crafting and likes to use hammers and stuff, which certainly evokes imagery of steel-type because of stuff like blacksmiths, but he also likes to imagine himself as a legendary figure, which does correlate with flying-type through phrases like “head in the clouds” and “high ambitions”. Not to mention he uses a slingshot, which is a weapon that causes things to fly through the air. So it could be either steel-type or flying-type, or even both. Yeah, actually... both steel AND flying seems like a REALLY fitting Pokemon typing for Usopp. Wait, but my favorite Pokemon types are Water because it’s what Squirtle and Quaxly are, Poison because it’s what Alolan Grimer is and also it’s just generally rad, and Ghost because Pokemon are cute and cute-scary is a delightful combination every single time! I thought better of you, Usopp.

Nami wants to escape with Usopp, but Usopp is a little busy getting killed. Sanji ex Machina.

Nami wants to escape with Sanji, but Sanji is a little busy getting killed. Oh well I guess. No skin off Usopp’s back.

Sanji tells the foolish Dumbledore expy to drop dead, then demonstrates how.

Usopp’s Penis

Chapter 285 - Capriccio

So you know back during the restaurant arc when I said “I thought it would be easy to rank the characters Nami > Usopp > Lufpy > Zoro > Sanji, but now that all this has happened, every single character is so good that I can’t use that ranking anymore because Lufpy and Sanji are way better than I thought they were, and all I really know for sure is that Nami is great and Zoro is the worst”? Same thing now with my most recent ranking getting thrown out of balance by just about everyone being better than I thought they were.

As I recall, I put all the characters into tiers in my most recent ranking. Yeah, let’s see here... Nami is still S Tier, Lufpy is still A Tier, Sanji is now A Tier instead of B Tier, Zoro is still B Tier, Nico Robin is now B Tier instead of C Tier, Usopp is now A Tier instead of C Tier, Tony Tony Chopper is now C Tier instead of D Tier, D Tier is now an extraneous tier that none of the crew falls into.

I’d say it’s gonna suck when I end up liking all these characters so much that they’re all clumped up together in S Tier, but if that ever happens, I’ll just add an S+ Tier to put Nami into.

Nami, Usopp, and Sanji are all like “Let’s find Lufpy, Nico Robin, Zoro, and Tony Tony Chopper so we can leave”. The foolish Dumbledore expy is all like “Well it sucks that Sanji did bad things to me, but this too isn’t enough to stop me”.

This... isn’t the way the arc is gonna end, right...? It’s a Shonen Jump manga. I mean, so is Chainsaw Man, so I guess that doesn’t mean extremely bad things can’t happen. And so was The Promised Neverland so it additionally doesn’t mean endings can’t be bad. Ba dum tsh.

Ah... that classic trope, especially popular in Japan, where the comedic straight man will angrily yell “DON’T DO THAT SILLY THING!” A tried-and-true classic. Whenever it happens, the audience knows that they’re allowed to point and laugh. Anyway,

*points and laughs... but why am i using my left hand to do the pointing? is it because i’m left handed? no, it’s because my dad is left-handed... that’s right, i’m phil mickelson, who’s fucking apparently a famous golfer*

Woah... Lufpy actually called the knight god by his name. He’s like, the only member of The Protagonists of One Piece + Myself who respected the knight god’s request for them to do that. Also, he called Wyper Wiper. I thought I was the only member of The Protagonists of One Piece + Myself who did that!

Oh, Asia is sad. And she’s tiny. And Lufpy is nearby. Phew, this arc will have a happy ending.

Asia, Nico Robin and the corpses, and Nami Usopp and Sanji meet up. Asia and Nico Robin say “Unfortunately, Lufpy is on a fool’s errand to rescue Nami”. Puh-lease. We all saw Lufpy watch Asia be sad. We ALL saw it! That’s not what he’s fucking after.

Fuck. My update might already need to be updated. Nami might have to share S Tier with Lufpy. Shit. Fuck. My joke about all the characters slowly creeping towards S Tier together might just be reality. Fucking shit.

Am I really that easy to please? Quick, I need to reassure myself that I have good taste... um... lemme think...

Bruno Bucciarati and Narancia Ghirga are in B Tier. Leone Abbacchio, Pannacotta Fugo, and Trish Una are in C Tier. Giorno Giovanna and Guido Mista are in D Tier. None of them will ever ascend to A Tier, let alone S Tier, because JoJo Part 5 doesn’t have good character writing.

Phew, it’s not that my standards are low, it’s that One Piece is good. Thank goodness.

Man fuck Giorno and Mista for being the main character and honorary main character of a JoJo Part that had Narancia in it. At least Bruno got to be an honorary honorary main character.

...noooooo I reached the end of this volume... I wanna find out what happens next, but... I need to start writing my Higurashi post...

[dontsh0vethesun]

a temporary friend

kinktober 2022 masterlist | monstober 2022 masterlist

tentacled!she hulk x reader

18+ : smut; choking, vaginal penetration with a tentacle

“Oh my god, what is that!?” You exclaimed as your girlfriend approached where you were standing and waiting on her arrival.

“What is what?” She returned sheepishly with Tony, Natasha and Sam all avoiding your gaze too.

“What do you mean, ‘what is what?’ What is this slimy looking thing?”

The three onlookers laughed quietly at the interaction and Jennifer's poor attempt at hiding it in her green form.

“There’s no other way to tell you so I’ll just rip the bandaid off - your girlfriend has a temporary tentacle because of some kind of airborne serum on the mission.” Tony rushed out.

“And you’re still in your hulk form, why?”

“I’m kind of stuck - temporarily - Tony checked it out, it’ll go back to normal when this guy‘s gone.” She explained, gesturing to the green limb with a nod of her head.

“I thought we agreed to not get into weird situations on missions.”

“I know, I know.” She sighed innocently and you couldn’t help but smile at your green skinned girlfriend.

“I’m glad you’re okay though - I can live with a tentacle for a couple of days.”

“It’s kinda cool isn’t it?” She grinned. “Nat doesn’t like it though.” She added with a frown.

“In my defence she was poking me with the slimy thing all the way back. Your girlfriend is a nuisance.”

—

A few hours later you lay with her arm around you on your shared bed, a movie playing on the television whilst you mindlessly twirled strands of her long black hair between your fingers.

“I missed you - three days apart is too long.” You pouted and she laughed lightly at the adorable sight, cupping your face with a large hand.

“It’s much too long.” She smiled before pressing her lips to yours, she lifted you onto her lap easily with a strong hand supporting your body with a firm hold on your waist.

It was easy to fall into your regular rhythm, passionate and hungry smacks of lips against each other and a lick into your mouth with the taste of spearmint gum. She pulled your chest flush against hers with a rough movement and you sighed into her mouth at the feeling, subconsciously rutting your hips into hers with the growing heat between your thighs.

Despite her strength, Jennifer's touch was never too harsh, her palms slid over your body softly with a tentative squeeze of your nipple through your shirt and a questioning pull at the waistband of your shorts.

At your nod she lifted you as you yelped at the sudden action, soon placed back onto her legs with your shorts and underwear discarded across the room and a matching grin on your faces. You pulled her shirt over her head, smiling against her skin at the small moan she let out when your tongue flicked over a hardened nipple.

Strong green fingers pulled your face back to hers into a kiss even hungrier than before, one hand on the back of your head and the other wrapping around your neck with a perfect squeeze of pressure against your throat. You tried fruitlessly to grind yourself against her thigh to alleviate some of the pressure but she only smirked into the kiss at your growing frustration.

You didn’t think much of the goosebump inducing touch trailing up your thigh, the sensation it sent through your flesh as it stroked over your body that made you sigh. It didn’t register what it truly was until it teased at your dripping hole, a curious touch that made you needy. You pulled away from the kiss at the realisation of the whereabouts of your girlfriends two hands and the fact that what was asking to fuck you wasn’t one of them.

You glanced down at the foreign limb, slick and curled where it nudged at your inner thigh

“Is this okay?”

“Y-yeah.” You nodded, looking trustfully into Jennifer's eyes awaiting the new intrusion apprehensively.

Your fingernails dug into the muscular flesh of her upper arms as the tentacle pushed into your cunt, stretching you around it slowly as it inched its way inside you with its own slickness mixing with yours in a way that made the entrance effortless. The squeeze around your throat and the curling of the limb inside your pussy made you moan into her mouth, such a feeling you’d never experienced before that so quickly had you breathing heavily.

“That feel good?” She questioned, watching in awe at the way your mouth fell open and your body arched when she pulled out and pushed back in, poking at that sweet spot as she did so. You couldn’t even form a verbal response but the nod of your head was enough for her to know to keep going, keeping a pace of thrusts into your cunt and a pressure around your throat along with a thumb flicking over your sensitive nipple whilst your body moved with hers, fucking yourself onto her desperately to try and reach your orgasm sooner.

“Fuck, Jen.” You moaned out, pressing your lips to her neck with lazy kisses as you could barely function with the way your pussy started to clench around her tentacle. “‘M so close.”

The sound of your breathless voice against the shell of her ear spurred her on even further, she was aching to see you fall apart just like this again tonight, to make use of this temporary limb whilst she still has it.

You came with almost a scream of her name with your cunt clenching around her and your chest rising and falling quickly in a chase for breath as she held your tired body upright.

You both eyed the dripping tentacle when she pulled it out of you, shining and glistening, dripping onto the mattress beneath you. Just a look into one another’s eyes was enough confirmation of what the rest of the night entailed. Fingers crossed it takes a while to wear off.

[melis-writes]

Tony fucking you in the back of hie car just all hot and dirty

Melis you're killing me

🥵🥵 Reminds me of the prompt with Tony where he was driving you home, so whose to say he didn't park somewhere just to make you cum over and over again? 🤤

“Gonna make a mess in my car, huh baby?” Tony roughly grabs your face, giving it a shake as he keeps his rough rhythm thrusting inside of you.

“Oh, God—” you muffle out, taking everything inside of you not to scream out in pleasure from the sensations Tony draws out of you.

“Fuck, fuck,” Tony slaps your thigh wrapped tightly around his waist with his free hand, letting his other hand grip over your throat while he watches his cock slide in and out of you over and over again.

“More, more!” You dig your nails into the fabric of Tony’s dress shirt, every inch of your body begging to feel this man inside of you.

You roll your eyes back in pleasure, letting Tony easily come close to coaxing out a powerful orgasm built up inside of you from both his teasing and rough fucking right in the back of his car.

“F-feel so fuckin’ good,” Tony grunts, feeling your pussy beginning to contract around his cock.

Tony’s never ceased to fuck you into a orgasming mess, filled to the brim with his cum only to beg for it more and more every time.

Filthy, loud moans spill from your lips as neither you nor Tony care anymore if anyone hears the two of you out in the parking lot. “T-tony, fuck me! Yes! O-oh!”

Tony lazily grins down at you; all eight inches of his thick cock easily sliding in and out of the wet mess your pussy has become. “Take it all in, baby.”

He begins to ruthlessly pick up the pacing of his thrusting, slamming into you as you roll your eyes back and curl your toes in pleasure.

Your orgasm unravels out of you the moment you feel the tip of Tony’s cock brush up against your G-Spot coupled with Tony applying pressure to the sides of your throat.

“Tony, I’m—” you squeal, barely able to finish your sentence as you cry out; your thighs shaking like jelly over Tony’s waist.

Tony silences your moans by crushing his lips over yours in a wet, messy kiss. He can feel your pussy cum around his cock for the third time back to back tonight, and Tony’s already intoxicated by the scent of sex surrounding both of you in his car.

Only the sounds of Tony’s cock sloshing deep in and out of your pussy can be heard with sweaty skin slapping against skin.

Even throughout your orgasm, Tony fucks the ever-living life out of you with each thrust, pounding into you as rough as you want it like a wild animal over and over again.

Your hand shakily find Tony’s hair, clutching onto it as you spread your legs as wide a you can over car seats, giving into the euphoric sparks of arousal surging through you and Tony’s dominance.

[saintvitusdancexd]

Christian borle quotes

“Why does every leading man have to be barrel chested and have a chin, isnt there room for the chinless men”

“Oh. He’s praying”

“Ai ai! Oompa-loompa-loo ca ca cao cao oompa-loompa want it now now now Ai ai ai ai! oompa-loompa wanna chew chew chew”

“Towards the boobs”

“Bobby canavale and I hugged in a way which suggested that we both dated Sutton foster”

Interviewer: what’s a sweet treat that you cannot resist? “Kristin Chenoweth?”

“I have been using it in real life and let me tell you the bend and snap works very well”

“Drinking :)”

“You weren’t just rude to these nice people you were rude to me”

“I saw the elephant man too early in my life”

“I was president and co-founder of the Ed grimley club”

“She was really discovering a whole new world in her bonnet”

“The rock star of 1595”

*talking about a conversation he had with the casting person for legally blonde* “she told me Your emmet isn’t handsome, to which I thought oh that’s great :(, and he said, and I told her, that’s the point🙄”

“That’s not water”

“She was that wicky wacky hula hula honka wonka Honolulu
Hawaiian honey of mine
When I saw her in the hut
She was cracking coconuts
With a crazy kind of rhythm double-time
I'm gonna build a little wicky wacky ticky tacky
Sugar shacky love nest out of pine
For that wicky wacky hula hula honka wonka Honolulu
wicky wacky hula hula honka wonka Honolulu
Hawaiian honey of mine”

“God how the young- your smoking pot now aren’t you”

“Just basically thrust everything that has been given to me by nature in their faces for like three minutes straight”

Interviewer: how do you not fall in love with Andrew Rannels? “You just do, that’s the easy part, that’s the best part”

“I vote we use the cock sock to keep the white wine cold”

“BOOK NOOK”

Interviewer: what’s your spirit animal? “This is a two part answer, first is, it would be a toad. The second is, a rabid coyote”

“Half of my work is just turning around and shaking what the good lord gave me”

“He was a Tony nominee which I was before I won a tony”

“ I almost liked you in that last scene way to go”

“ im going to start with a slight loofa, im going to Segway maybe have myself a glass of champagne, I’ll do a very light foundation that you won’t be able to see the whole point is that it doesn’t look like im wearing makeup, I’ll probably drag a flat iron through my hair, i think im going to wear two different undershirts, one for luck and one for sweat, I’ll then get into my suit, then get out of my suit so that I can eat, i don’t wanna spill anything on it, pick a tie, then double think the tie, then triple think the tie then go with my original tie, put on my shoes and walk out the door, simple”

Interviewer: maybe the leather pants “no I pretty much enjoy them too”

“@naightyjack-a-nape it dost confound to think such a knavish iron-witted dog-ape like Christian borle is popular with anyone but the whores and groundlings”

“Booze”

“I don’t find it awkward changing pants I do it every day”

Interviewer: I thought you shaved your head for this role “ I sure did” so then why do you have hair there? “Just shut up”

“Seriously I just urinated all over my pants and this couch”

“I’m learning how his hips move”

Interviewer: what does it look like when your trying to resist it “well that’s how I lost my hair”

“You couldn’t hate me, I’m, im too lovable”

“Whizzer a supposed to always be here, making dinner, set to screw, that’s what pretty boys should do”

“Shalom from hell”

“Those two tigers who ended up eating Siegfried and Roy were talented too”

“Or I could just gouge my own eyes out”

“The world is better with you in it, just not my world”

“And for your information, homophobe, that critic wasnt in your pocket, he was having sex with your father”

“I felt like a little boy, in an arena of men and women”

“I love you, as much as I am able, considering wealthy, considering your poor”

“IS MY GIRL GORGEOUS”

“Then he caught a chicken disease, called cockodoodleitis”

“Green eggs and ham, green eggs and fuckin ham”

“I like to look at tall men in mesh shorts”

“You wake up one morning with hair on your balls, and suddenly you think I don’t exist”

“I haven’t worn deodorant in a decade”

“It’s just a bit of windy”

“Other shin”

“Cock sock talk with jack Davenport”

Who’s dick is in the microwave, is that what we’re playing already?”

“Less Karen’s parents, more gay sex”

“I bet your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard but I’m not interested”

“It helps that in real life I am just a raging narcissist”