#god the discussion of it is a date it is not but most importantly if you do it you'll get one! it's so domestic love it <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinkinggg about. race in adventure time

[elmonstro]

Hahahaha! Love it, thank you! 😍🤣 All the bickering!!!!! He put googly eyes on his cathetometer, amazing

Percy: Damn bitch you live like this??

Can I ask for 17. noticing their individual quirks from the blossoming romance prompt list with Simpatico? <3

WHAT A COINCIDENCE THAT I STARTED REWRITING LIKE 3 HOURS BEFORE I SAY THE POST ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY!! Anyways, Happy Belated Birthday!!! Enjoy some simpatico nonsense:)

Ao3 Link Here

Perceptor narrowed his optics down at the pile of clutter before him. Clutter was a kind, professional, polite way of describing explosive havoc of disorder and chaos that made up the dimensions of Brainstorm’s desk. Disgusting was another word that came to mind. 

::How do you live like this?::  

::Oh please, let’s not exaggerate. It’s not that bad.:: came Brainstorm’s groan. 

It was not an exaggeration. If anything, it was an understatement. 

Perceptor’s internal processors had a difficult time distinguishing just what exactly he was looking at. The only way to actually piece through what was on the desk was to deconstruct it layer by layer. A cross-section analysis.

The bottom-most layer- the foundation, if you will -were dried dribbles of fuel intermingled with a noxious dusting of sentiment and dirt. One of Perceptor’s background scanners identified a cluster of granulated particles to be aged candied energon treat crumbs. An entire rust strick made the foundation brick, its sticky residue gluing it to the hard surface of the desk. Perceptor idly pondered if its removal would cause the entire system to fall apart. And while his internal protocols desperately would like the area cleaned, organized and sanitary, he was not willing to find out if his hypothesis was correct. 

Cemented to this foundational core layer was the secondary mantle layer. This, from what Perceptor could read, was a scattering of notes all in Brainstorm’s sloppy, near illegible scribble. Tattered napkin bits from Swerve’s and printed notices from Ultra Magnus acted as the canvas for dynamic invention designs, schematics and impossible (and implausible) equations with attached nonsensical theorems. Several datapads acted as structural weights. When flicked on, Perceptor wasn’t sure if he felt amusement, exasperation or a sickly, prickling bashfulness in seeing several of his academic research papers and studies riddled with extensive notes, doodles and elaborations from Brainstorm. 

It didn’t take away from the utter disaster that was Brainstorm’s work space but it did soften the blow. Still, Perceptor would prefer if his research wasn’t adding to the disgusting catastrophe that made up Brainstorm’s desk. Perhaps a bookshelf or three would greatly benefit organization.

Level three- the crust -was as troublesome as the other two layers of clutter, if not more prone to disaster by their fragile and incongruous shapes. Trinkets , Brainstorm affectionately called them. Garbage , Perceptor was more keen on describing. In truth, they probably served best as paperweights, however haphazardly placed they were. 

The sentimentality was not missed on Perceptor and a part of him could even find the collection charming. Endearing. 

Perceptor had bared witness to the slow accumulation over the course of the Lost Light’s journey but had never really taken the time to truly examine them. Now he did, his optics scanning over the seemingly random series of objects: little samples of rock, crystal, fossil collected on pit-stop planets, a Rodi-Star for Temporal Excellence half hanging off the desk, a cluster of thumb drive stocked with films, music, and other media either gifted or stolen from Rewind- Perceptor was still not sure. Little gadgets and doodles from Nautica were in abundance and horrible tiny contractions built by Whirl intermingled with them. There was even a small toy-like bauble on the corner of his desk from Chromedome, Perceptor had been present when the Mnemosurgeon had left it there and Brainstorm never moved it, simply fiddled with it absentmindedly while mulling over his work before throwing it back to the corner of his desk.

All these items, papers and dirt and yet Perceptor still did not actually find what he was looking for. 

With a heavy sign, Perceptor responded to the insisting ping in his comms. 

::How do you expect me to find anything on your desk?:: 

Brainstorm’s response was bitingly quick. ::What are you talking about? Everything is organized!::

::It’s garbage, Brainstorm.::

::Use that brilliant mind of yours and you’ll see everything has a purpose.::

::What purpose do Ultra Magnus’s cease orders from 28 cycles ago have?:: Perceptor didn’t dare touch the fragile, lopsided stack in fear of it tumbling down and only adding to the mess. 

::They are counterbalances. Don’t move them or the desk will collapse.:: Perceptor had no doubt in the truth of that statement even if its intent was a joke.

::We are cleaning this when you return to the ship.::

::It doesn’t need any cleaning! I know where everything is!:

Perceptor let out a derisive snort. He could picture perfectly the little fluttering of Brainstorm’s ailerons, his hands moving in frustration. 

::The tell me where your cathetometer is.::

It was the reason for this call in the first place. For rare occasion, Perceptor had the lab to himself with Brainstorm accompanying Rodimus’s small expedition team. It’s not Perceptor’s fault his colleague forgot his equipment but he was not about to be a complete aft in not assisting. He just wasn’t going to personally dig through Brainstorm’s garbage heap of a desk alone. 

::Hmm, if you don’t see it in top it’s probably in one of the drawers.::

Perceptor rounded the desk to see six drawers lining the sides of the desk with three on each side. 

::Which one?::

::The left side. I keep the important stuff there.::

Perceptor raised an optic ridge and couldn’t help but ask ::And what do you keep on the right?::

::Come on Percy, let me have a little mystery, a touch in intrigue.::

::Nevermind, I don’t want to know.::

Perceptor didn’t need to be present to know Brainstorm was pouting, blast mask intact or not. Even hundreds of meters between them and Perceptor knew a pouting, sulking Brainstorm anywhere. 

::You’re no fun.::

::Yes I am.:: Perceptor replied back as he started with the top drawer, pulling it open only to find it crammed to the brim with even more data pads. All of them pressed together to a block so not even a tiny piece of dust could enter. Perceptor slammed the drawer shut. ::How do you live like this?:: he found himself reiterating. 

::Oh, not fun loving Perceptor still complaining about my desk. Is that fun? Cleaning and organizing?::

::You’re a scientist. How do you find anything in this?::

::Tell me how you are fun in explicit detail and I’ll tell you my organizational strategies. We can make a date of it.::

Perceptor snorted as he opened the second drawer. This was filled with several instruments and after some careful digging, he found the cathetometer . ::We can clean your desk together.::

::You must be a hit at the club, Percy. Really. Absolute stud. What moves do you have? The pencil sharpener? The label maker? The file organizer? Actually, you can’t claim that one. Minimus invented and perfected that one. ::

Perceptor could have told Brainstorm at any moment that he had found what the other mech was looking for but, he held onto the tool for a moment, softly smiling to himself as Brainstorm rambled insults to him. It shouldn’t be charming, it shouldn’t be amusing, it shouldn’t bubble up any sort of affection. And yet. 

::I’ve seen you dance, Brainstorm. I wouldn’t speak so confidentially with what you’ve demonstrated.::

::Are you saying Minimus is a better dancer than me? Because you surely can be saying that you are a better dancer. I mean, I think you’ll fall apart if you stepped foot on the dance floor.::

::It hasn’t happened yet.::

::When have you been dancing at Swerve’s? Before or after you deep clean and detail your desk every day?::

::Funny.::

Without even thinking about it, Perceptor opened the third drawer. He stopped as it slid open, its few contents rocking in the sway. Recognition lit his processor in a warm, shy heat.

::I’m hilarious. So funny and smart and amazing and talented and resourceful. Speaking of resourceful…did you find the my cathetometer yet? I put googly eyes on it. For personality. Can’t miss it.::

Perceptor felt the warmth spread across his faceplates. ::I did.::

::Oh Percy, I could kiss you. Tailgate is almost back at the ship if you can give it to him. The mods to his hoverboard make him almost as fast as Rodimus. He’s pissed. Anyways I told you it would be easy to find. All my important stuff is.::

Perceptor barely heard a word of what Brainstorm said. Only sending back a short affirmative as he stared at the drawer. 

::Perceptor? You alright?::

With a sharp invent, Perceptor closed the drawer shut firmly. 

::Perfectly fine. I’ll be ready to pass it off to Tailgate. I’m clearing your schedule for the next cycle. We are cleaning your desk. I can’t work knowing you are working like this.::

::Percy! It’s fine. I don’t need your shitty excuse for a date-::

::It’s not a date.:: Perceptor swiftly cut off. ::This is a work hazard that is being remedied immediately.::

Brainstorm’s response was muted, delayed. ::Okay, okay. We’ll clean it up. I’m sure you’ll have a checklist and everything.::

Perceptor let a small smile come to his face even though he could hear the telltale rumbling of Tailgate’s juiced up hoverboard. ::Of course. You shouldn’t expect anything less from me. If you manage to get it done by shift’s end, I’ll buy you a drink. Maybe if you are lucky, we can dance.::

Brainstorm’s next several responses were streams of incoherent stutters that formed a very excitable agreement. Perceptor didn’t feel the need to continue the chatter as he passed over the tool to Tailgate who only gave him a slightly confused look at his smile. Perceptor didn’t care, not when he knew what lay at the bottom of Brainstorm’s important drawer. 

Sentimental fool.  

[nobodysdaydreams]

In Honor of All Saints Day, Here's Some Random Assumptions About My Followers Based on Their Favorite Saints 😇

Please note this is a merely for fun and not meant to offend anyone, please be kind, thank you. Also, I obviously can't possibly include every saint here, so I'm just gonna stick to some of the ones I think are most likely to be favorites of my followers.

Saint Joan of Arc- I'll start with arguably the most popular one, or at least the one I see posted or discussed online the most. If your favorite saint is St. Joan of Arc, there's a good chance you're an atheist who doesn't vibe with saints in general, but likes her because she's a girl with a sword and that's objectively awesome. You're correct for that, and welcome to the post. Another option is that you're a girl who was labeled a "tomboy" growing up.

Saint Paul- if your favorite saint is St. Paul, you have a blog or a significant portion of your blog dedicated to one ex-villain character whose redemption arc you could rewatch on loop for hours. You also might be Protestant, and yes, this particular St. Paul is the same Paul from the Bible. Welcome to the post. ✝️

Saint Olga- if your favorite saint is St. Olga, you support women's rights, but more importantly, you forgive women's wrongs. There have been several times when you've gotten upset about people questioning the validity of a female character's redemption considering her past when they overlook and forgive way worse done by male characters. There's also a chance you might be Orthodox. Welcome to the post. ☦️

Saint Nicholas- if your favorite saint is St. Nicholas, there is a chance you followed me for TMBS content. Your favorite holiday is Christmas, and you're still hyperfixated on the same book series or television show from your childhood. You're also extremely passionate about your fandoms and can't stand it when people grossly misinterpret characters or things in canon.

Saint Benedict- if your favorite saint is St. Benedict, you also probably followed me for TMBS content. You're also a very humble and unproblematic person but the haters are bitter and always trying to bring you down (via their jealousy and also poison, but you can't be stopped).

Saint Scholastica- if your favorite saint is St. Scholastica, you also might have followed me for TMBS content because you know that she's Benedict's twin sister. You also wish that God would summon storms for you whenever you find your brother annoying.

The Virgin Mary, Mother of Jesus- if you picked the Virgin Mary, you're neurodivergent, specifically the type of neurodivergent who loved those card games where characters had different levels of power. You take a similar approach to picking your favorite saint, so why wouldn't you go straight for the one that is objectively the most powerful and the best one? It just makes to most sense to you, and the thing is, you're right. You're 100% right. Congrats!

Saint Cecilia- if your favorite saint is St. Cecilia, you're a musician and were in choir either at school or church. You also probably are/were a theater kid.

Saint Lawrence- if your favorite saint is St. Lawrence, you were definitely a theater kid and tried stand up comedy at least once. You also use jokes and humor to cope with stressful situations.

Saint Josephine Bakhita- if your favorite saint is St. Josephine, you are one of those people who somehow remains positive and sees the sliver lining in literally any circumstance. Don't get me wrong, I love that for you, but please take care of yourself. 🫂❤️‍🩹

Saint Dymphna- if your favorite saint is St. Dymphna, you are neurodivergent, have struggled with mental illness, work in psychiatric or medical care, or you’ve dealt with a lot in your life, and I hope you heal. 🫂❤️‍🩹

Saint Kateri Tekakwitha- if your favorite saint is Saint Kateri, you're sick of your relatives pressuring you to date someone, and you're extremely worried about climate change (girl, me too).

Saint Anthony- if your favorite saint is St. Anthony, you have ADHD and lose things multiple times a week. On the off chance you followed me for Wolf359 content, you identified way too strongly with Doug Eiffel.

Saint Peter- if your favorite saint is saint Peter, you either watch "The Chosen" or you have ADHD and felt seen when you read about him in the Bible. That man boldly declared he would never deny Jesus and when told he would do it before a rooster crowed three times, to which he confidently replied "nah" and then immediately got distracted and preoccupied with cutting some guy's ear off and forgot all about the oddly specific terrible thing he was prophesied to do just a few hours earlier by a man he believed to be God incarnate. As someone who also breaks down in tears when I suddenly remember the important things I forget to keep track of, I sympathize with his story. Saint Dymphna is patroness of most mental illness and ADHD is technically covered by her, but if we ever get an ADHD specific saint, I know it has to be either be Peter or Anthony, and if it were entirely up to me, I'd give it to Peter. Don't get me wrong, Saint Anthony is there for us, but Saint Peter is one of us, you know what I mean? Though I feel like due to the problematic nature of diagnosing the deceased (no matter how evident symptoms might be) it would end up going to Anthony, since we do call on him often, and I think Peter would be fine with that.

Saint Mark Ji Tianxiang- if your favorite saint is St. Mark Ji Tianxiang, you or someone you know is probably in recovery from addiction, and I wish you well on your journey. You also empathize way too much with any character who suffers from addiction and if you followed me for Wolf359, that was the aspect of Doug Eiffel's character that stood out to you the most. 🫂❤️‍🩹

Saint Catherine of Siena- if your favorite saint is Saint Catherine of Siena, you've probably written a book or fanfic well over 100k words. (Yes, I know, you don't have to say it).

Saint Francis of Assisi- if your favorite saint is Saint Francis of Assisi, you either have pets or want them, and if you do have them, you've taken them or begged your parents to let you take them to a St. Francis feast day pet blessing. If you followed me for TMBS, SQ is probably your favorite character, and if you followed me for Wolf359 content, you were inconsolable when Blessie died. You're also probably the kind of neurodivergent who takes things like "if you want to follow God, sell all you have and give it to the poor" literally and as a result, this has caused conflict with your family (specifically on account of you giving all the money made from your family business to the poor).

Saint Joseph- I doubt I have a lot of followers who are parents because of how tumblr demographics skew, but if your favorite saint is Saint Joseph, you just became a dad or really want to become one someday.

Saint Monica- again, I doubt this is the case because of the age of tumblr demographics, but if your favorite saint is Saint Monica, you're a mom who really needs a break, and I hope your husband and sons get it together soon. 🫂❤️‍🩹

Saint Augustine- if your favorite saint is St. Augustine, you also like redemption arcs and likely went through a "party phase" at some point in your life that you regret and identify a bit too strongly with the younger brother in the prodigal son parable. However, in this case, you likely also love St. Monica and if you followed me for Star Wars content, you are particularly upset that we didn't get to see more interactions between Leia Organa and her son Benny Solo especially considering they led a whole war against each other the year between TLJ and TROS (dead horse, I know).

Saint Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin- if your favorite saint is St. Juan Diego, you have or grew up with a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe somewhere in your house. You've also been in the incredibly specific situation of seeing or doing something super cool, but not having anyone believe you (but the satisfying payoff when they find out you were right).

Saint Mary Magdalene- if your favorite saint is St. Mary Magdalene, you either watch "The Chosen" or you're a woman who's faith pulled her out of a very difficult time in her life, and like St. Juan Diego, you also know what it's like to be proven right after a group of men call you a liar.

Saints Louis Martin and Marie-Azélie Guérin (Zélie)- if these are your favorite saints, you understand why you can't just pick one. This power couple comes in a set. If you picked these two, you heard about them because your favorite saint might actually be or have been their very famous daughter St. Thérèse of Lisieux. And if you're a guy and you picked these two, you're also a proud girl dad and can't stop bragging to everyone you meet about how successful your wife's business is (especially because she's so humble about it). Green flags all around.

Saint Maximilian Kolbe- if St. Maximilian is your favorite saint, you're a history guy or gal who is obsessed with world war two, but in a good way. In the "this was very not cool. Let's never forget so we never do this again" way. You also love stories of heroic sacrifice and aspire to always do the right thing even when it’s not socially popular or doesn’t benefit you.

(Soon to be canonized) Saint Carlo Acutis- You're a millennial or gen z who loves researching and talking about modern saints. You aspire to be like them and have a list of ones you want canonized (mine are Servant of God Dorothy Day and Archbishop Joseph Francis Rummel. They lived in the 20th Century and when you're dealing with 2,000 years of history, that's pretty modern).

I'm sure I'll think of more to add after I post this, but I'll leave it here for now. I hope y'all enjoy this!

[anxious-witch]

Since I can't seem to stay quiet and I all but made up my mind to stay away from the tag for the next week or so, let's talk about recent discussions about jance and bokris and this...weird ship war that has been going on, shall we?

Under the cut bc while I am annoying, I will spare you the essay if you don't want to read it, god knows I write too many of these.

I don't know when we as a fandom got to a point where we are even fighting over which ship is more likely, more realistic and if the other ship is "more queer coded" or whatever the fuck. I was under the impression that the fandom is meant to be fun thing we do, but that we are all aware shipping is something that's made up. And that even if guys play into it or even if someone is indeed really dating we are aware that what we think about it is irrelevant. Factually, even if someone "was right" about the ship, our perception of it will be widely different than the truth of real people's relationship. Because these are real people, not fictional characters. They cannot queerbait, and jokes aside, even calling someone queer coded is weird, you guys. At the end of the day, we cannot assume someone's sexuality based on how they look.

As for the whole bokris-jance discourse. I don't even know why this is a thing? Bokris people, you got fantastic solo photos of both Bojan and Kris, full of symbolism and got the fire-water link between them that's just perfect for fics.

Jance people, you got joined photoshoot, with Jan and Nace clearly being very intimately connected, which you can interpret in whatever way you wish in fics and fanart. The fact that there are less pictures speaks volumes about how private whatever they have is.

Both have it's merits. Both have it's weight. I don't understand this aggression and fighting over art. Art all of them participated in creating by speaking with Damon about it before doing the photoshoot.

I have friends who ship jance more and I have friends who ship bokris more. The truth about both is that we simply don't know what's going on behind closed doors. Even more importantly, is whatever it is that we don't know worth losing the community we built here? I feel like every time I get into the tag, there is something new people are fighting over. This is just the last thing that seems relevant and that most people got involved into.

But genuinely, I am just tired. I hope things calm down when the new song drops, although god knows there will likely be a discourse over that as well, but hopefully...less than this.

And yeah, I do know this will probably get me blocked from one or the other side or both but let's just...get it over with. Since I feel like this will happen again, I might as well make my stance clear now. Which is-I am not picking a side. I don't think real people can queerbait and that they'd do a joined photoshoot if they didn't have a very deep connection to one another. I don't think they also need their virtue defended because they definitely knew people will speculate after this. But I also don't think this 100% means they are together. Yes, it sucks that queer people need to outright say these things, but I also wouldn't claim a straight couple is dating unless they publicly announced it.

So yeah can we all just please try to chill and do fun stuff again, please?

[miguelsfangservice]

BEYOND THE SPOTLIGHT

Pairing: Miguel O'hara x F!Famous Idol Reader

Warnings: Negative and positive stereotypes about the industry (idk, probably later in the story), and not the best english lol (sorry in advance). Summary: It doesn't matter he's at HQ trying to keep the multiverse afloat, your face, your voice, your smile and laugh follows him everywhere. No, he is not loosing it (yet); it's just that its kind of inevitable when most spiders under his command are... how did Gwen called it? Ah-staning you? Well, he can't really complain, it's his girlfriend,after all.

“The first time you hear it it may seem shallow, but I’m telling you,bro,when you pay close attention  it’s one of the best pieces of art depicting the oppression of individuals for expressing their sexuality, y’know what i mean.”

An awkward silence settled in the room before Pavitr and Miles let out some nervous chuckles.

“I thought it was a love story” Miguel's ears hurt just by hearing Pavitr retort with his mouth full of god knows what..

“...I’ve listened to it a couple of times and I have to agree with Pav.”

Before Hobie could open his mouth to reaffirm his earlier claim, Miguel slammed his fists on his desk.

“Do I need to remind all of you we are trying to have a serious discussion here?”

Silence. For at least a few seconds before Pavitr can’t resist anymore and turns to Hobie once more.

“What part of the song are you referring to, because I think-”

“It’s specially obvious at 1:30 when she sings-”

“Get out- If you’re not taking this problem seriously,OUT”

“ But I'm…” Miles tries to argue back, but at this point and with how exhausted Miguel is, he just doesn’t care about whatever they have to say.

“THE THREE OF YOU, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT”

While leaving his office, Hobie and Pavitr still have the absolute audacity to continue their discussion in hushed voices (mostly Pavitr, Hobie does not care if Miguel hears him”; Miles doesn’t speak again but Miguel can see him trying to hide his amusement.

If Miguel had eaten anything, if he had gotten enough sleep or, most importantly, if he had seen you at least once today, he miiiiiiiight’ve been in a better mood to confirm that yes, Hobie was right, it was kind of your intention to convey those themes in your last single.

He would know, he was there giving you feedback  and taking care of you when you put your heart and soul into writing that song.

Also, even if he had the mood to discuss it with those kids, he wouldn’t try his luck and let them get suspicious enough for them to put everything together and figure out he’s been dating you for over a year now.

Miguel wouldn’t hear the end of it if any of the spiders knew about their huge and scary boss dating the “pop divinity”, the “fan´s delight”. Besides, it would get a lot harder for you to sneak into the HQ to spend some time together after your rehearsals or just when about every spider went home.

Although, he couldn't deny he was getting tired of keeping the relationship a secret; he hated hiding to every person he deemed close to him the fact that he wanted to spend the rest of his miserable (and probably very short) life with you.

But he knew you were not quite ready yet. Not until you were able to live with the fact that yes, your boyfriend is Spiderman, and he’s not only putting his life and sanity at risk in your universe, but also putting an unimaginable burden on his shoulders by trying to keep several other universes safe.

You already had a lot on your plate with the sudden burst of fame and all the work you were putting into creating your first solo album.

Sometimes, Miguel kinda wished you were still doing activities with your girl group, it put a lot less pressure on you and your health. But he felt guilty just for thinking about it.

This was your dream, having your own solo activities, showing the world your songs and what you were capable of. And he was so proud of you, so happy to see your face light up after you finished writing a song or when you learned a difficult choreography. 

Miguel O’hara had the heart of steel to do a lot of harsh things, to take the decisions no one else wanted to take for the sake of hundreds of universes and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to see your sad face if he ever questioned what you were doing to achieve your dreams.

“Lyla, I'll be calling it a night. Got to get home.”

Just when he was about to exit, she appeared right in front of him with a huge magnifying glass in which he could see her eye getting bigger, examining him; Miguel grunted and tried to brush her off as if she was a bug

“This early? Who are you and what did you do with my boss? I’m gonna put the emergency lockdown if you don’t answer me right now-”

“I’m trying to recall at what point of your creation I made you this damn noisy.” he hissed, walking faster and then swinging away from her. “Besides, no te hagas tonta (don't act dumb), you know damn well where I’m going and with who.”

“And I appreciate the trust you put in me by telling me your secret–” she started saying, solemnly.

“We both know I didn’t have much of a choice.”

“But, as your best friend and the one who knows you best–”

“Firstly, I don’t have a best friend and secondly, the one who knows me best is Y/N, not you!” Miguel interrupted and pointed a finger at her, trying to poke her, but his complaints were ignored as Lyla continued with her ramblings.

“I think I have enough authority in your life to give you some well needed love advice” Miguel couldn’t help but snort at the ‘authority’ affirmation.

At this point he decided to completely ignore her voice and focus on getting to your shared home; it had been a long day and all he wanted to do was bury his face in your shoulder and try to sleep with his girl by his side.

❃❃❃❃

A/N: Well, this is my first fanfic for the fandom. If you liked this, please, consider following, leaving a comment, like or reblog, I would really really appreciate it, specially cuz I'm not sure if anyone would like to read more about this.

[spectrumgarden]

Okay so I've never really joined the whole "small talk" argument that's been happening increasingly over the last years because I tend to just not agree with anyone I see discuss it. Like no I dont think people who use it are evil or making things hard on purpose, I also dont think it makes them lesser, ... I Also dont think that someone who refuses to use it / cant use it is automatically worse and will not make friends.

Importantly i also dont think everyone can learn it. I should know because I spent multiple years with professionals trying to teach me how to have a conversation At All and I still am actually nowhere near what would be expected at my age group. (Most recent reports usually go something like "makes slight improvements in having a two sided conversation" - because I can say nothing, or I can ramble on and then not react to your answer. The rest? Struggle time, to this day, in every aspect) No matter how many intricate guides you write, if I fail at the basic concept of a conversational structure very frequently then I will not succeed at small talk either. And additionally I also genuinely can not tell what might be too personal for this other person.

A lot of these people who get upset when people say "I cant do small talk because I'm autistic and I cant learn it, I tried and failed" and go "of course you can!", just sort of like. Ignore that a lot of the developmental delay in conversation and / or (nonverbal) language never closes up for many of us, the way a lot of us generally never reach the developmental level of our peers (in some areas). and it's not because we have not seen enough complex flow charts or not practiced enough. when so many of us literally spend so much additional time of our youth sitting in front of whiteboards and workbooks and such, being explained over and over how to talk to someone at all. I am 22 and after years of explicit teaching I still have to ask for verbal confirmation and explanation of any nonverbal cues that I think were used by my conversational partner, but do not know what they mean. Which is pretty much all of them. And I probably miss a lot of them existing at all. You can scream "just practice until you can recognize the other persons little cues on if they want to deepen or end this" until you turn blue but it will not actually make me accomplish it if the fucking people who've been spending their whole life teaching it didnt make me figure it out. On account of, you know, the developmental delay.

Sure some people can learn! That's why they try to teach us after all! Cause it has been successful! But generally stop with this shit of "everyone can learn this you're just choosing not to!"

I will never be rude to someone for engaging in small talk, I will obviously fail at their attempts to engage me in some, which usually makes them stop trying (thank god). But I will not tolerate others talking shit about it that is uncalled for (implying malice from every user, making fun of people who seem to crave it, ...).

But I also do not care to learn it anymore at this point? It's no goal of mine. I have made multiple friends, most non autistic, without ever using small talk. Including in adulthood. We simply skipped that stage. We went from "hi!" "Hi!" Immediately to "heres when it went wrong in my life (humorous but still often dark / personal). Also these are my political opinions. Sure I want to hear about the girl you dated for years in excruciating detail. Let me retell you the plot of this old indie movie you will never watch for 20 minutes and why I enjoy it. Let's go to a concert together after talking slightly in depth like this twice". Is this the way that you creep everyone out in everyone's friendship acquisition theory I've been seeing? Sure! It's been working perfectly fine, enough of the times for me, though.

Will this work in like a work environment or something? Most likely not, which is why I generally plan to keep to myself. Does this mean I still confuse every stranger who approaches me trying to small talk? Sure. that's why I'm still fucking disabled. But I have created meaningful relationships as an adult without small talk. I have genuinely tried learning in many ways and failed. And I'm done apologizing for that, either you take me with my inability to small talk or you wont.

[borntolurk]

METATRON: or an explanation about why his inclusion in the S2 and S3 narrative is fascinating and weird, actually

Originally, this was going to be a stupid, unlikely, and mildly cynical theory about what I think is going to happen in S3 and how it might compare to my third least favorite TV show finale.

But while I was writing it I went down a Metatron rabbit hole and honestly? It's pretty crazy. Like, really crazy.

Part 1: Metatron

So who is Metatron, anyway?

(This gets a bit detailed but I promise it pays off!)

I think a lot of people, because Metatron is in the book (which is a Book of Revelation parody), assume that he was also a figure in the New Testament- or barring that, in the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible. But he wasn't! In fact, Metatron isn't in Christian scripture or early literature at all.

Metatron is really a (very nearly, he's also mentioned in Islamic texts) Jewish figure. The exact origins are a bit fuzzy to me, as while I'm a scholar of Jewish history this isn't my era (it also gets pretty mystical and my worst grades were on mysticism-related papers), but essentially you're not seeing the name until a century or two after the Common Era at the very least. In antiquity, the name is largely found in the 3rd Book of Enoch (and later other Merkabot/Hekhalot literature) and in the Talmud.

The 3rd Book of Enoch is a work whose origins date back to anywhere from the 1st to the 5th century CE and it continues the themes of the 1st and 2nd books which discuss Enoch, the seventh generation from Adam in the Book of Genesis. In Genesis, Enoch is noted as having been taken by God rather than dying, and the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Book of Enoch expands on this idea of Enoch being a massively powerful figure in Heaven (keeper of treasures, God's right hand figure, leader of the archangels, etc)- and even potentially being a lesser/dual version of God. In the 3rd book in particular, the word Metatron is used to describe him.

For those who are aware of Jewish theology, it might have occurred to you that the idea of there being a duality of God in any way is a pretty fraught one; Enoch is largely non-canonical in Judaism*, but it was still cited reasonably frequently by Jews in the early Common Era. In the next few centuries, we start to see more mentions of Metatron (at this point, not explicitly identified with Enoch) in Jewish literature, and this becomes a pretty big deal.

We then have three Talmudic mentions of Metatron, and one of them (Avodah Zarah 3b) is relatively minor, but does suggest, importantly, that God deputizes Metatron to do tasks that God would otherwise do. The other two are more interesting here. In Sanhedrin 38b, we see a debate between Rav (Rabbi) Idit and a heretic, who suggests that perhaps Metatron, which Rav Idit has mentioned as a representative of God, should be worshipped on par with God; Rav Idit makes clear that this is not correct.

The most interesting, though, is the story in Chagiga 15a, which tells the story of Rabbi Elisha ben Abuyah, otherwise known as Acher (the Other, signifying that he is a heretic). The story of Acher is a quite famous one, but here it's told with a particular twist that didn't make it into the versions that I learned in Jewish day school- the involvement of Metatron and its influence on the precise nature of Acher's heresy.

Rabbi Elisha ben Abuyah was a 1st century rabbi and teacher who was one of the leaders of his generation who is described as having been one of the four rabbis who entered the "Pardes," or orchard- and he cut down the saplings, becoming a heretic. This is usually interpreted to mean that he was exposed to deep, fundamental understandings of God which caused him to turn away. In this particular version of the story, what he saw was a vision of Heaven in which Metatron was sitting in God's presence. To Elisha ben Abuyah, this was a massive affront to God- surely one should stand in God's presence! This led him to believe that maybe there were two powers in Heaven, and thus led him down the road to heresy and the epithet Acher.

The story continues that as a result, Metatron was beaten with fiery rods to make a statement that he was not parallel to God, contrary to what Acher believed. Metatron was also asked why he hadn't stood up when Acher arrived, to avoid the conclusion. The answer is that the Metatron had permission to sit in order to "write the merits of Israel."

And, because of this heresy by Acher, Metatron is given permission to erase Acher's good deeds. There is a voice from Heaven saying that all sinners may return- except for Acher. This leads to Acher's purposeful slide into heresy more broadly (his first stop is literally to a sex worker, something that would be unacceptable for a rabbi, to PROVE that he's now gone bad).

(Also worth noting- in the Jerusalem Talmud, an entirely different reason is given for Acher's heresy- not that he believed in dualism but that he was angry about unfair human suffering.)

The story of Acher is interesting, in this context, for two reasons:

it's another indication that Jewish tradition is going to absolutely reject any possibility of duality and

it gives a clear indication of what Metatron's power is

So... we know all that. Now what? (You may already have some inkling.)

Part 2: Cosmic Megatron

I've called this section by this name because everything I'm going to say should be foregrounded by my belief that most of this is likely coincidence.

Metatron is a character in the original book of Good Omens, and as far as I can tell is there to fill two functions- to have a heavenly representative and thus avoid having to write dialogue for God, and so that they can have a joke where Pepper confuses him with the Cosmic Megatron, apparently a toy made of plastic, which features laser cannon and can turn into a helicopter.

(He's also called the Metatron- I'm not 100% sure why.)

We know from what Neil Gaiman has been saying that he and Terry Pratchett wrote the book in a pretty casual way. Obviously, the book is written with a certain amount of knowledge about the Bible and Judeo-Christian** religion, which from things that Gaiman has said I think he attributes to their being two bright, well-read men who were educated in a Christian-majority country but which I'm sure also included a decent amount of research- hence the bit in the beginning with different calculations for the year of creation. (Gaiman is of course Jewish but I don't get the impression that he had any formal Jewish education, though I could be wrong.) But it seems to be written largely as satire of some pretty well known Christian concepts, for the most part, though nicely detailed.

That's why my assumption is that Metatron must have been included as an offhand joke, by one of them who had heard of him as a spokesman figure in some other context. Because despite the fact that the Book of Enoch is known within Christianity, that's largely the 1st Book of Enoch, not the 3rd, which is the one where the name Metatron is identified with Enoch. If there are any scholars of Christianity reading this, please correct me if I'm wrong, but- I don't think that Metatron would be a familiar angelic/heavenly figure to the average person given a cursory de facto Christian thinking in purely Christian terms. Therefore, presumably the name was one that either Pratchett or Gaiman had heard in another context and that one of them (possibly Pratchett, as he was apparently the one who mostly wrote the kids) thought would make for an entertaining joke about plastic toys that turn into other plastic toys.

We then know that in a hotel room, after they wrote Good Omens, Pratchett and Gaiman plotted out a potential sequel, tentatively titled 668: Neighbor of the Beast. We know that this was going to feature more of Heaven's side, as Gaiman said in the run up to the expanded S1 (which of course featured the new-to-us characters of Gabriel, Uriel and Michael) that the angel characters were already part of the plan for the sequel. We also know, of course, that S2 is meant as a transition to S3, which is the actual plot to the sequel book.

Obviously, we don't quite know yet what that plot is going to be- but presumably, at some point in it Aziraphale was going to go up to Heaven. But presumably Gabriel, who we can now be quite confident was written out of S3, would have been part of that story in the book! The fact that we AREN'T getting Gabriel in a S3 that's based on a sequel idea that specifically included Gabriel (or so we're told) means that that role must be filled by someone.

It seems very likely that

what would have been Gabriel's role is being filled by Metatron and

Metatron wasn't necessarily supposed to be in the sequel, and thus (in theory) S3, at all.

Now Point 2 is only a guess, and it's entirely possible that it's wrong. But I wonder (and this is a totally separate theory, in some ways) whether the role that Metatron played in S2 is one that would have been played by Gabriel if Jon Hamm had wanted to stay. The casting of Sir Derek Jacobi in S1 was not one that implied to me that this was a character who they had plans for- it was a one-scene role in a show with a decent number of minor cameos for well known actors. His return this season was honestly a pretty big shock to me- and seems to be setting him up as a significant figure in the upcoming season. (Which, incidentally, seems like one that can be pretty easily acted in voiceover/green screen, making it a good role for an actor who may not want a full six episode season of a show.)

So- whether we accept my above hypothesis as true or not- why Metatron?

Part 3: Cosmic Metatron

So mostly these are questions. I obviously don't know the answers any more than anyone else does. I could even be wrong about some of my basic assumptions as far as the timeline.

But regardless, I think that the use of Metatron will be incredibly interesting this season for a few reasons.

First of all, let's discuss the Book of Life. It is, unlike Metatron, actually in the Bible- both Hebrew Bible and Old/New Testament. (In fact, the Book of Life is mentioned in the Book of Revelation- the main source material for the book/S1!) In Judaism, the Book of Life is actually something that is still part of Jewish tradition to this day. On Rosh HaShana, the first day of the year, our prayer for a new year is so that our names can be put in the Book of Life due to our good deeds.

We already know, from Part 1, that Metatron is God's scribe, who writes down people's good deeds- and while the story of Metatron and Acher above is never directly connected to the idea of the Book of Life, the thematic similarities are undeniable and it seems pretty clear that they're talking about the same idea. So we have a potential connection between Metatron as a potential character in Good Omens with the Book of Life as a potential concept in Good Omens- along with the fact that a person can be erased from the Book of Life with eternal ramifications.

It seems pretty clear that, whatever reason Pratchett and Gaiman may have had for including Metatron in the book, he now has a pretty solid reason for being here in the show, based on what we already know.

Also relevant is the status of Metatron. In the 3rd Book of Enoch, we know that he is God's right hand, head of all the archangels, and even is given a title that connotes him as a "lesser God." Which is, as noted, pretty theologically wild for Judaism, and a big reason why Metatron and Enoch don't get a lot of play in contemporary Jewish theology (besides for mysticism). We also know that it's the idea that there can be TWO powers behind the throne that led Acher to be eternally condemned as a heretic.

Someone posted a VERY interesting meta here- I can't find it right this moment- which suggested that God is no longer really around in the world, and that the Job minisode- the final time in the show's chronology when we hear God's voice as anything but narrator- Heaven is bathed in golden light, whereas afterward it has a more sterile and empty white light. I find that to be an fascinating idea- that Metatron is actually serving in some kind of parallel-God role in God's absence.

I'm not going to pretend to know WHY this is. There are lots of interesting potential plot angles- you could have Metatron deposing God, you could have God purposefully withdrawing from humanity/the bureaucracy of religion (maybe something similar to in Pratchett's Monstrous Regiment, which would actually make quite a bit of sense if this was part of the unwritten sequel as he could have recycled the idea), you could have some kind of a power struggle, etc. But it does seem clear- we have Metatron as what is essentially a Godlike figure, with enough power to completely depose Gabriel, shut down the other angels, and elevate Aziraphale (if that's indeed what he does- he is at least able to convince Aziraphale that he has that power, which is something).

We have a Metatron strong enough for someone to, potentially, question whether maybe HE'S the one exercising Godly power. And potentially face the worst of consequences for those questions, consequences that we know Metatron is able to deal out. Consequences which were already threatened in S2.

Now that would certainly fit in VERY well with the kinds of plots we might expect from a Good Omens 3...

It also could lead to a fascinating dynamic if they give Metatron an origin story of being Enoch. Having the big cheese in Heaven be someone who used to be human? That's a fantastic concept, just like how S2 centered a character for whom so much can be explained by the fact that he's a demon who was once an angel.

Basically, I think there is the potential for some interesting stuff here.

Caveat

None of this answers a separate question that I have- why bring in a Jewish angelic figure for a story as intensely Christian as the Second Coming? I have a feeling that the answer is going to be "because it's fun"- regardless of how Metatron is used. That said, if there ends up being a narrative where there's Metatron representing the vengeful God of the Old Testament and Jesus as a nice dude who represents something more forgiving then... Idunno, I'm not gonna be super thrilled.

And also- I'll put it out here now- I didn't love S2. Among other things, I think it was pretty simplistic and I don't think that it developed its ideas to their full potential. I don't know that I trust S3 to be as interested in these details to have ANY of this show up in the plot. It could totally be that Metatron is only there because he's in the book, and the Book of Life is only there because it's in the Book of Revelation. Obviously, I don't know.

But I do think that, whatever Gaiman does write if the show gets renewed, there's a lot of material here for him to work from, if he wants to.

*with the exception of among Ethiopian Jews- in fact, the only extant complete version of the 3rd Book of Enoch is in the Ethiopian religious language Ge'ez

**this is a terrible term and I use it only under protest

[lostinlewis]

Old Flame ~ Part Two

Rating: M

Words: 3442

Character: Lewis Hamilton x F!Reader

Description: You learnt so much from your first love but the most important lesson he taught you was how to deal with heartbreak, even if it takes you six years. You were almost there, you almost made it days at a time without thinking about him…that was until he turned up in the most unexpected of places.

Seven hundred and thirty hours, it had been seven hundred and thirty hours, one whole month to be more precise, since your encounter with Lewis, and you were pretty sure you had spent at least seven hundred of those hours thinking about him. 

You had cycled through all of the coping mechanisms you knew to distract yourself from thoughts of him but it was fruitless, nothing and no one could stop you from finding yourself staring into space as you ran through memories you shared with the only person you had ever really loved, except for that one thing you knew always brought you back down to reality; you Googled him. 

If Lewis was just some guy, Googling him would have provided a page of results if you were lucky, however Lewis was not just some guy, he never really had been. Articles upon articles discussing his every move filled the pages. Think pieces on his outfits, on his cars, and of course his dating life appeared. There were pictures too, so very many pictures of him and others, mostly female, papped in streets and events across the globe. 

As you looked at each one, and of course you looked, you felt the pinprick pain cover your skin, anxiety and grief, a fine mixture. You studied every inch of every woman that stood beside him. Each looked like a model, they were everything you didn’t feel you were yourself. They were all young, beautiful and slim, they wore clothes you would never dare to wear, and most importantly they looked as if they belonged next to him; something you had never truly felt you did. 

You had known forever that you were not the kind of girl he would settle down with, Lewis was never meant for normal, Lewis was meant for remarkable, he was meant for success, he was meant for a relationship that would only ever be the envy of others, one that was labelled a ‘Power Couple’, he was meant for everything you could never be, you were normal and Lewis was not, he was remarkable and he deserved someone remarkable too. 

-

The drive to your mum's house was narrated by the sounds of Sza’s album, each song was relatable, her lyrics spoke to your soul. 

‘I try to keep from losin' the rest of me/I worry that I wasted the best of me on you, baby’

You cared not for who could see you singing along to every word as if you were Sza herself, nor did you worry about the tears streaming down your face as you let emotions out that you had suffocated for so long, emotions that now tested the strength of your waterproof mascara, as well as they tested your sanity. 

Before you switched off your engine you knew there was one more thing you had to do, you turned your music up to loudest possible volume, clutching the steering wheel with a herculean grip you let out a scream, a long deep scream to bring and end to the breakdown you had scheduled for that morning. 

-

“Are you okay? You are awfully quiet today.”

Your mum had always been intune to your feelings, it had never mattered how much you persisted that you were fine when you were not, she knew, she always knew.

“I’m going to tell you something but please be sane about it.” You knew that request was pointless, your mum could be sane about nothing involving him. “I saw Lewis.” 

“Oh, you did?” 

Her response was normal, unemotive, had she finally grown to hate the man as you had requested for so many years?

“Is that it? You don’t want to tell me how this was fate intervening? How it was time to give him another chance? How beautiful our babies would be? Wow mum, you really have grown.”

“Well, darling you know-”

“Oh my god, you already know don’t you? How do you know, mum?” 

The realisation hit you hard as you read the expression that she barely tried to hide on her face.

“Darling, calm down…” 

“No mum, what the actual…explain, everything, now!” 

You could feel your face flush with a burning anger, the betrayal hit as hard as his had all those years ago. She was your mum, not his. She was supposed to be on your side, not his. 

“I’m sorry, I knew this was how you would react, that’s why I didn’t tell you-”

“Tell me what, mum?”

Your leg bounced up and down as your body desperately tried to release the anger that was boiling over within you. 

“You know that Lewis and I were always very close, I thought of him as a son. When you broke up, when you left him…he called me first to find out if you were still alive and then to apologise.” She hadn’t made eye contact with you once, she knew she’d betrayed you. “It started as innocently as that, then he’d call once a week…always on a Sunday evening after his race to keep me updated, he knew I enjoyed hearing how he did. He’s won so many races, did you know?” 

“Are you actually serious right now?” 

“Sorry, I’m just proud of him.”

“You’re proud of the guy who destroyed me, mum? You know what, fine.” 

“No sweetie, it’s just-” 

You were not prepared to wait around to hear more of her pathetic excuses. You had always known she was fond of him, you just didn’t ever realise she was more fond of him than she was of you.

“Since you care so much about him, more than your own daughter's feelings clearly, I’ll just leave.” 

You heard your mum attempt to chase after you but it was pointless, the anger and betrayal had powered you out of the door and into your car before she had even had the chance to get near. 

-

The tears flooded your cheeks once more, the betrayal, so much betrayal, how could the two people who swore to love you unconditionally hurt you in unimaginable ways? 

Your fingers found his name in your phone and pressed the call button before you even had a chance to think about what you were doing.

“Hello?” 

“How fucking dare you still speak to my mum?” 

The words fell out of you in a vicious scream, a hiss of spite as you wanted answers from the one man you swore you would never speak to again.

“Baby, I-” 

“No, don’t baby me! I can’t believe you would…I can’t believe she would betray me like that.” 

Your voice broke as you cried uncontrollably, if you had an ounce of rationale within you in the moment you would have kept strong with your anger but instead you were powerless to the upset that engulfed the fire of anger. 

“She didn’t betray you, it’s my fault. I love your mum, she’s been a mum to me too at times. I shouldn’t have kept in contact with her, I just needed to know you were okay, you disappeared and I couldn’t contact you. I needed to know you were alive, at least.” 

His voice was quiet, a stark contrast to your screams. 

“Maybe it would have been easier if I wasn’t.” 

“No. Do not say that. Do not even play with that.” His voice rose an octave. “Are you driving right now?”

“So what if I am?” 

“Pull over, please. You’re too riled up to drive safely.” 

“No, you don’t get to-”

“Pull over. If you don’t, I will call the police and tell them there’s a crazy drunk woman that needs to be stopped.” 

“But I haven’t been drinking.” 

“Yes and they will realise that when they pull you over, but at least they would have made you stop.” 

“Fine.” You said through gritted teeth. “Happy now? I’ve stopped.” 

“Very. Now you’re going to breathe, I will talk to you until you calm down.”

“And if I don’t calm down?”

“Then you’ll be stuck talking to me for eternity, you don’t want to do that now do you?”

You could hear his smug smirk through the phone. He spoke to you for a whole hour, about racing, about fashion, about anything he could think of just to distract you from your thoughts. He made you smile, he made you laugh but most importantly, he made you forget you hated him, if only for that brief moment. 

-

Your evening was a mix of dancing around the house to your favourite Spotify and drinking wine, lots and lots of wine. Your music was so loud you almost didn’t hear the knock at your door. 

You opened it so casually, without checking through the peephole first, figuring that it was just your neighbour coming by to ask you to turn the music down, again.

“Hi.” 

Fuck. 

Clad in an oversized lilac sweater, matching cargo trousers and ridiculously big boots, clutching the prettiest bouquet of flowers you had ever seen. 

“What are you-how did you even find me?” You wanted to slam the door shut, escape this absolute nightmare of a situation as fast as you could but you didn’t. “Mum…I’m going to kill her!” 

You left the door open as you rushed to find your phone, ready to tear into your mum, not even considering that you had just invited him inside your home unintentionally. 

“Wait…Stop.” He grabbed the phone from your hand. “She was worried about you, so she begged me to come and check on you.” 

Your face was still a scowl, how many times were they both going to conspire against you?

“I can go if you want?” 

“You’re here now.” You inched away from him, you needed another drink. “Would you like one?” 

You wanted to scream at him, at her, at the both of them. How did you end up in this situation? How was Lewis now sitting on your sofa, still clutching the bouquet of flowers like a nervous sixteen year old waiting to take his date to prom? 

“These are for you.” He handed you the bunch. “Is red still your favourite colour?”

“Yes, thank you.” You smelt them before putting them to the side. 

Lewis accepted your offer of a drink, even though he didn’t normally drink anything, he was clearly just as nervous as you in this situation.

 “Please ignore the…well the whole place, really.” 

Suddenly you were very aware that you had this mega rich super famous guy on the sofa of your very modest, somewhat untidy apartment. 

“I like it, it’s cute…very you.” He looked around the room, taking in every detail much to your annoyance. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes…well I mean, no. I’m too tipsy and too tired to scream at you, if that’s what you are asking?” You sipped at your wine, the harsh taste masked your anxious thoughts. 

“That’s good, I don’t think my ears could handle much more of that.” You both smiled as he feigned ear pain. “But, I mean, about everything? About me being here?” 

You looked at him, his locs sitting loosely on his head, his nose piercing glistened every now and then as the light from a candle reflected off of it. His soft smile, his kind eyes, everything about him was so beautiful. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol freeing you of your inhibitions but you could see the man you fell in love with once more, rather than the man you hated. 

“That’s a loaded question, Lewis. But, I’m okay with you being here…for now”

“You look absolutely beautiful, by the way.” 

“Shut up, no I don’t!” 

You laughed at his absurdity. You were wearing what you called your comfy clothes, a tracksuit about five times too big for you and your makeup was still smudged around your face from the endless stream of tears that ruined it earlier in the day.

“You don’t get to decide that.” He took your hand, you didn’t pull it away. “You look beautiful, to me. You were always the most beautiful woman in every room.” 

You allowed yourself to fall into his gaze, to get lost in the rhythm of his thumb stroking circles on your hand until you caught yourself losing control. 

“That changed fast, it’s a different supermodel every week now, isn’t it?” 

He screwed his face up at you, looking almost offended at the suggestion he was superficial enough to only find beauty in the obvious. 

“How do you even know that? Have you been Googling me?”

“I think everyone’s seen the pictures, Lewis. You’re constantly pictured, all over the world, a new girl on your arm in every picture.” 

You hoped your teasing hid your jealousy but that was pitiful, both of you could feel the aura of envy that laced every word. 

He locked his fingers in yours, so intimate yet innocent the contact he made was. He was always such a touch focused partner, his hands constantly had to be on you in some form, a hand on your thigh as he drove, a hand on the small of your back as you socialised. You missed it, you missed always being the focus of his attention, even in a crowded room. 

“Did you notice something in all of those pictures?” 

“What? That everyone in it was ridiculously beautiful?”

His eye roll felt so exaggerated yet you could tell he meant it.

“No, just how many different women there were.” 

“Are you bragging now? Ew.” 

“I don’t need to brag, baby.” There was his smug smirk once more. “What I meant was, look how many different women I have met, spent time with, tried to make it work with, yet none of them stayed for very long. Do you know why that is?”

“They got bored of your in depth analysis of every move you made on the track the previous weekend?”

“Can you be serious for five minutes, please?” Lewis was getting frustrated with your making light of his words. “And if you must know, they all found my company fantastic, thank you very much!” 

“Whatever. Tell me then, why did none last?” 

“Because none of them were you. Supermodels, actresses, singers…none of them filled even half the hole you left in my heart when you disappeared.” 

“Lewis…” 

You felt him pull your hand just enough to move you closer to him on the sofa. Butterflies engulfed your stomach, you felt an unwanted tingle down below as he pulled you until your face was just inches away from his. 

“Lewis…please…” 

You could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin, you could smell his signature scent, you could feel his heart racing as you leant up against his torso, staring deep into his eyes. 

“Tell me you don’t still love me, tell me that I don’t give you butterflies in the pit of your stomach anymore.” He brushed your lips with his, the tip of his nose grazing your own. “Tell me to go and I’ll go.”

He took your silence as permission and kissed you. In that moment, you melted into him. He was gentle with his kisses, such tender movements, you could feel how nervous he was to scare you away as he kissed you. 

Your tongues danced together like they were long lost lovers, his hands brushed up your sides, so careful he was of moving too quickly with you, he settled for the feel of your waist, for now. 

He gently laid you back on the sofa without breaking your kiss, worried that if he let you think in that moment you might shy away from him, he purred into your lips as he climbed on top of you. 

Taking all of his weight on his forearms, he allowed only his hardness to press against you, as if he wanted to remind you of all that he offered, as if it was possible for you to ever forget. 

His lips traced from your kiss, across your jawline, never once lifting the pressure on your middle as he nibbled at your neck. You let out a little moan as he sucked at the skin, leaving his mark on what had been forbidden to him for so long now. His hand roamed up your sweatshirt, gently rolling your nipple between the pads of his finger and thumb, not settling until he heard the yelp you let out.

Your breathing was shallow now as he brought his lips over to suck the teat. His other hand slipped under the waistband of your sweatpants. He groaned, your nipple still between his lips, as he drew his middle finger through your wet folds before resting on your nub. 

He caught the moan that escaped your lips with his own, burying his tongue in your mouth before sucking on yours, his finger drawing soft circles on your clit.

“I need to taste you.” 

He trailed your body with kisses before pulling off your sweatpants. He kissed up the inside of your thighs, your core was pulsating now, so much so you were sure he would be able to feel it the closer his face got. He brought one hand up to yours, locking his fingers in between to steady you as his tongue pressed hard against your clit. 

Your whole body shook as he began to work you, you moaned into the air, he was still an expert at pleasing you and he was determined to do just that. He lapped at your middle like you were the only thing that would satisfy his hunger. You could feel him bringing you closer and closer, your high building with every pressured motion of his tongue. He could feel it building too, he squeezed your hand tighter to encourage you. He wanted it, he wanted to taste every last drop of you, he wanted you to give him your essence, he wanted to devour every part of you. 

“Oh my-Lewis.” 

You cried out at him, your body arching, you held your breath as he increased the speed now, desperate to push you over the edge. You squeezed his hand tightly at your peak. You came undone all over his tongue so quickly, your orgasm sitting so fiercely that all you could do was shake as you desperately tried to regain breath. 

He lapped it all up, moaning himself as the juices flowed from you. He didn’t stop once, only decreasing the pressure slowly, making your high last as long as possible until you were so sensitive you whimpered at every touch. 

He brought his face back up to level with yours, his fingers still locked in yours, he brought your legs to a close and wrapped them across his lap. You stared at him for a moment, his smile decorated with the glistening evidence of your undoing. You kissed him this time, tasting yourself on his tongue. You moved your free hand down to his waistband but he brushed it away, quickly. 

“But-”

“No baby, tonight was all about making you feel good.” He mumbled. “There’s plenty of time for that.” 

He brought your head down to his shoulder, one of his hands stroked the outside of your thigh, the other locked in your hand as you both fell asleep right where you sat. 

-

The sunlight broke through your curtains, it took you a moment to remember who it was you were laying with but when you did, when you saw that he was still holding you as if he was scared you were going to disappear, you felt warm. You felt home, for the first time in six years, you felt like you were home. 

You gently wriggled out from under him, he stirred but didn’t wake. You were grateful for the moment alone to gather your thoughts, before being faced with the next steps. You didn’t know what you wanted to do. Every sensible part of you screamed for you to stay away from him but your heart didn’t. The beautiful man that lay on your sofa, so soft he looked in that moment, innocent if it wasn’t for what you knew he was capable of. He was all you had ever wanted since the age of seventeen, he was your first and last love. 

You noticed the flowers he bought still laid on the side, you picked them up to put them in some water. It was then that you noticed the card that was strapped to the side. 

‘We are so much bigger than what we’ve been through.’ 

PART THREE

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

originally posted by the artist, the wonderful @lickboo and it is so beautiful and heart wrenching 🥹 ...made my heart ache.

It made me want to write down my thoughts about Harry, My Policeman and Harry&Louis.

Because watching this created trailer felt similar to how my heart aches whenever i watch old footage of them being reminded how they have to 'keep it down'. Obviously the theme of the film has an even heavier tone, with homosexuality being illegal and all the violence looming for men loving men, but it is my conviction that it's not a coincidence that Harry's (and Louis') life together and the novel's and then the subsequent film's plot overlap so heavily.

And let us not forget that when Harry tweeted "We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall." on September 28th, 2013 - a date on which they definitely did something huge with each other, something-akin-to-getting-engaged-or-married-, same sex marriage was still not even legal in the UK. More than 60 years after the period in which My Policeman takes place.

So let's not pretend that the history we are looking at was ever moving fast and that the struggle of being a member of the lgbtqai+ community only touched them lightly. It touched them heavily and it still does.

Harry chose and wanted his first ever lead debut to be THIS film.

He asked to be in it in early 2020. He only signed on to Don't Worry, Darling in September of the same year.

The director Michael Grandage said, quote: “The person who arrived was incredibly informed: he'd not just read the novel, at least once, he'd read the screenplay many times. I was sitting opposite somebody who was making a case for why they wanted to play Tom Burgess." and also "[...] the script had been distributed within his agency, and they knew what he was looking for in material. So they read this script and thought, This is actually the kind of thing he’s looking for."

(source)

(source)

I could spend hours marinating in these thoughts and they'd make my heart ache for every single minute.

Harry asked his first leading role to be in a film that is about two men who cross each other's paths and instantly feel drawn to each other; a film about two men falling for each other hard and in an environment where they're not allowed to publicly show their love, forced to hide and with seemingly no way out. (pun fully intended) A film that has the one guy constantly in a relationship with a woman he's not in love with, using her as a beard for his safety and feeling bad about it. A film that encapsulates so many emotions tied to having to hide your true heart away to keep each other safe. And the ending... oh my god, the ending.. I still can't write about it without tears filling my eyes, it's so hard-hitting. Honestly, Harry describes it best:

"Styles described his latest film as “devastating.”

“Ultimately to me, the whole story is about wasted time,” he said. “I think wasted time is the most devastating thing, because it’s the only thing we can’t control. It’s the one thing we can’t have back.”"

(source)

And I want to add, when in the same article it states he said: “So much of gay sex in film is two guys going at it, and it kind of removes the tenderness from it … [director Michael Grandage] wanted to show that it’s tender and loving and sensitive.”, he not just states that that were the director's thoughts and vision first and foremost (which he seems to agree with, though), but the main point is:

Harry has been viewed/portrayed through a hyper-sexualized, heteronormative lens since he was 16 years old. Gay sex in media is often heavily fetishized (an in-depth discussion around this is more than my spoon supply can provide today) and more importantly: gay love is almost always heavily sexualized, thus heavily fetishized; removing the three things that Harry highlighted as being very important for the film:

Gay love and gay sex are tender and loving and sensitive.

And it needs to be shown. Wanting to empathise on those things never meant that it's not okay to just want to watch "two guys going at it" (can imagine Harry and Louis enjoy that, too). It's just that the representation is still very imbalanced and Harry and the director recognize that.

To return to the main point that keeps me up at night: Harry wanted and chose to do a movie with this plot for several reasons that, in my opinion, go beyond representation (that is incredibly vital) and to be seen by the world as a gay man (that he is).

And to quote Louis: "That's incredible, Harry."

I think Harry read the novel/screenplay and found himself and Louis in it.

And I think that was a huge reason why he wanted to do this film as his first lead acting role.

[thecrownestt]

With all this cold and harsh, snowy weather hitting the US right now, I want to offer some tips to stay warm (note: preparation is best done a little in advance)

Meet a nice girl somewhere, comment on something topical, and tell her she has to try this restaurant she hasn't gone to yet

Go on the date, say cute things like "get anything that catches your eye, don't worry about leftovers because it's worth trying x!"

You know, like a feeder

Do that thing you do where she doesn't feel THAT weird about eating so much in front of a date she finds so attractive because, for some reason, you flirt like a god when someone has eaten a lot in one sitting

Funny how that happens every time

Do that on every date

Tell her stuff like "do you want to take a little break on that bench for a few minutes? We can people-watch"

You also flirt like a god when she needs to sit for a break. It just happens at this point, I don't know what to tell you

Ask her if she likes how you treat her

Turns out, she feels like a goddess many of those times you feel like a god

Isn't that odd

Tell her the two of you should...try something that night

Mileage varies depending on how rough she likes your hands

Blindfold? Handcuffs? Those tantalizingly soft kisses on her cheek? And food. Enough to...

...hold her when it's over. She'll be listing and could have some belly aches after feeding her those cookies and pasta for an hour. A whole hour. Jeez. I know I waited a few minutes to let her make room during that time, but an hour went by? Time flies...

Ask her if she likes how you treat her

If you're lucky, she'll tell you she wants it every day

Do it every day until winter

I can't reach my arm all the way across her belly anymore when we spoon

Her ass is getting too big to even cuddle up against her thighs during spooning either, so make sure you spend appropriate time cuddling her thighs on their own

At this point, she might be lazy enough that you'll need to do everything for her

If done right, neither of you ever discuss the dynamic of that and it just happens until she's up and walking only a few times a day

She needs help up now too

Ask her if she likes it

She only hates that she even had to get up in the first place

Fuck, this is addicting. Feed her something.

Ask her if she wants BBQ or something cheesy

Check the weather forecast and lose all shit because it's going to be -40 out

Buy enough food to kill a person

Think about that turn of phrase before googling about sleep apnea masks or oxygen tanks

She doesn't need them now

But she deserves to have a feeder prepared for the moment

Snap out of it, you're clogging up the deli line

Finish buying the food at the grocery store. Two trips is fine. I like going to a different store. Less questions that way when you push around the type of carts that I do.

MOST IMPORTANTLY

When the storm hits, nuzzle your face into the side of her belly

Look you're warm now

If there are any questions, I'm sure I'll answer any topical questions in my inbox.

[spiritlessatlas]

Star Trek Trip x Reader

After a long day working in engineering you and the rest of the crew go to the holodeck to have some after work fun. As you're sitting in the simulation, somewhat by yourself, you look around and just happen to see Chief Trip Tucker sitting there talking to fellow coworkers laughing and joking. As you're about to look away, Trip looks your way and gives you a small smile and waves you down.

"Hey Lieutenant y/n come sit and join us!" He says smiling pulling up a seat for ya. You reluctantly head that way and sit down. You later have a good time and thoroughly enjoy your night with the crew. After everything is done you get to your quarters and start settling in. As you open your book nestled in bed you hear the door.

"Come in!" You say closing your book expecting hoshi or maybe T'Pol at the door, but instead Chief Tucker walks through the door in his pajamas and a robe.

"Hey y/n. Just wanted to come by and uh say I had a great time tonight in the holodeck with you. Maybe we could do it again later? Or we could go out to movie night together? They are showing a movie called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the crystal skull . No pressure though. My daddy didn't raise me to be much of a pushy person." He smiled awkwardly scratching his head not knowing what to exactly do with his hands.

You smile bashfully "Yeah, Trip I would love to go with you. Mark it down as a date perhaps?"

He blushes deeply, stuttering trying to get his words out "Y-Yeah.. S-Sure. I'll mark it down as a date for sure! Well um.. Good night Y/N."

"Good night Trip." You smile blushing laying down kicking your feet like a school girl asking your crush on a date. You can't believe this is actually happening

Thursday comes around and you meet up with Trip to watch the movie " Hey there."

He turns around, face lighting up when he sees you " Will hello Y/N! You made it!" You could tell he has been stood up several times on dates but you were going to make sure that never happens.

"Yeah of course I wouldn't miss this for the world!" You smile and walk into where the movie is being held.

Y'all watch the movie and sit there for a bit afterwards discussing the movie and what y'all both liked and disliked. As y'all finally start heading back to the respected quarters he stops and looks back at you.

"Hey Y/N.. Wait. Let me walk you back?" He says shyly, hoping you say yes because he's had so many failed dates that he hoped he didn't mess this one up like so many others

You turn around a tad shocked, "Uh sure. That's fine my quarters are this way."

He smiles a bit and catches up with you, a definite blush on his face "Yeah I know lieutenant."

You smile and have a lovely walk back to your quarters talking about similar interests and hobbies, along with things y'all like to do on Earth when y'all have shore leave. You soon realize you had made it back to your quarters.

"Well.. here I am." You say softly.

"Yup here you are.. um well. I'll see you tomorrow y/n" he says awkwardly not knowing what to say.

"Well goodnight and see you tomorrow Chief." You walk in and as soon as the door closes you do a little happy dance smiling and squealing softly

'Oh my god.. I can't believe I just went on a date with my superior but most importantly my CRUSH! This can't be real and happening at this moment' You think to yourself feeling like you're having what feels like an out of body experience.

The next morning you get up and get ready for your shift you head to main engineering and take your place. As you're going through your shift as normal suddenly there was a red alert and there was a phasor hitting the ship's defense system jolting everyone to the ground. Part of the shield was damaged and the hull was damaged as well in those parts.

You call the captain "Cap' we have lost shields here in engineering and the warp is slowly losing control. What's going on up there?"

Archer replies "The Klingons are attacking us for being in Klingon territory according to them."

As you try and find Trip to give him the report you get hit again making the warp core rapidly losing control you start trying to fix it with your fellow crew members. You get the warp core stabilized after some time and may hits later. As you finally have the time you help tend to the wounded. Trip being one of the wounded, he's unconscious and bleeding profusely.

You start crying and whispering "No.. No not yet.. you can't leave me yet.. We just got started knowing each other.. please don't leave me Trip.. It can't end like this"

(part 1 of many)

(Spotify playlist I listened to when writing!)

[ozwriterchick]

Who the hell is Daddy??? - Pt 2

Characters: James “Bucky” Barnes; OFC/Meghan Snow; OFC/Darcy Hunt; Other Avengers mentioned

Content warnings: Angst; Pregnancy

Legend: Italics are OFC Journal entries

A/Notes: This is part 2, Part 1 can be read here, please read that first or this may not make sense

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist

The next day

I barely slept last night, what little I did sleep was out of pure exhaustion and no more than about half an hour at a time.  By the time 5am came around Bucky still hadn’t come back to our room and he hadn’t answered any of my calls or messages.

I wanted to talk to Steve or Nat, but they had gone away for the weekend so I couldn’t talk to either of them.  I figured I’d call my Mum and maybe talk to her but it was still super early, so I thought, why not drive to their place and talk to her in person.

I packed a bag to stay the night and around 2 hours later I arrived at my parents house.  The place where I grew up, I took my first step, had my first date, my first alcoholic drink.  The place where I lost my virginity and most importantly, the place I first told Bucky I loved him, about 6 months into our relationship.

As I walked up the front path, the door swung open and Mum was standing there.  I ran to her and she opened her arms and just squeezed me and I broke down crying.

“Meg, baby, what’s wrong?”

“Just ev..everything Ma.”

“Oh love, do you want a cup of tea and we can talk?”

“Ye..Ye.. Yes p..please”

We went inside, Mum made a cup of tea and grabbed a box of tissues and we went and sat in my old bedroom so we could talk without any interruptions.  Dad wasn’t home so it was just us.

She let me drink about half the tea and calm down a bit before she continued.

“Now Meggy, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Oh Mum, I thought he’d be ha..happy but he st..stormed out and he didn’t com..come ho..home.”

“Ok, well how about you tell me what you thought he’d be happy about and what happened before he stormed out.”

“I.. I.. Oh god, why is it so hard to say..”

“You’re having a baby?”

“You knew? Then why did you ask?”

“I’m your Mum, I know you, and I couldn’t think of much else that it would be.  You needed to say it, but I get why it’s hard, the last reaction you had was so far from what you wanted or thought it would be.  Oh my gosh, I’m going to be a Nanna?  Just wait until your Dad gets home, he’s going to be over the moon.”

I laughed because I knew she was so right.  I know his reaction will be what I’d hoped Bucky’s would be.

I explained everything to Mum while we waited for Dad to get home.  I told her that we hadn’t discussed kids and that we were good with using protection, that the flu I had a couple of months ago must have reduced the efficacy of the pill I was taking and we didn’t think to use any backup.  I told her that I was nervous and scared but also excited because I thought Bucky was my endgame and I was his.

I showed her pictures of the box I put together to let Bucky know about the baby.  Then I told her about what happened after I gave him the box.  

“Mum, he didn’t explain anything, he just left and he didn’t come back.  I suppose we should have spoken about kids before now but he just said he needed some air and he left.  I know it’s sudden but I was excited about it - I still am I guess, but it’s definitely taken some of the shine off it.”

“Well, that does sound odd.  I would have thought after all he’s been through that he’d be jumping for joy at starting a family.”

“Me too, see I’m not being unrealistic to expect that reaction am I?  I mean, if he really didn’t want kids, you think he’d tell me at the start?”

At that moment, the front door opened and I heard my Dad’s excited voice. “Meggy, I didn’t know you were coming?  Where are you?”

“In the kitchen with Mum.” I laughed for the first time in the last 15 or so hours.

Dad came through the door and almost picked me up he was so excited to see me.  “Oh darling, I’m so excited you’re here.  I have a little league match that I’m coaching this afternoon.  Where’s Bucky,?  As soon as I saw your car, I thought maybe he’d like to come with me, give you and your Mum time to talk, or you can come too if you want.”

At that, he noticed my face fall.  “Meggy my darling, what’s wrong?”  He picked me up off the chair and hugged me to his chest.

“Oh Dad, everything.  I think you should sit down, I have some stuff to tell you.” Dad sat at the table next to me and reached over to grab Mum’s hand “To answer your first question, I don’t know where Bucky is.  He’s not here, that much I do know.  I think we might be over, he left last night and didn’t come home.”

“Now the reason he left, because last night I told him I’m pregnant.” I smiled at Dad to let him know I was ok with being pregnant, even despite Bucky’s reaction I’d just let him know about.

“My baby’s having a baby? I’m gonna be a Granddad? Oh I can’t wait to tell the guys at the club - none of them have grandkids yet.”

“See, that’s the excitement I was after, why is that so hard.”

“Honey, he must have a reason for his reaction, he’s not a cruel man.  You just have to sit down and talk to him”

“I know Mum, but it’s kinda hard to talk to him when I don’t know where he is.”

With the perfect timing of a movie or tv show, my phone started ringing at that moment.  I nervously picked it up and told Mum & Dad that it was Steve.

“Hi Steve, what’s up?”

“Hey Megs, do you know where Bucky is?”

“I don’t Steve, I haven’t seen him since last night.  I was going to ask you if you knew where he was.”

“Last night?  Did he go on a mission or something?”

“Ummm, no, we had a.. well I guess you’d call it a fight, and he left.  He didn’t come home all night.  I left early this morning and I'm at my parents place right now.”

“Oh, say hi to them.  What happened if you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t but I’m not sure I want to talk about it over the phone.  I was going to stay here tonight, because I really can’t lay in our bed and wait and have him not come home again.”

“Was it that huge a disagreement Megs?”

I sighed thinking I may as well tell him. “Steve, I may as well tell you but you have to promise not to tell anyone else ok?”

“If you ask me not to say anything I won’t, you know that.”

“I know, I just have to be sure, because, well, I’m pregnant Steve.  I thought Bucky would be excited but he got really strange and asked me why I’d tell him this and think he’d be happy about it.  Then he said he needed air and he just left.”

“Oh, ok, wow.  Ummm, yeah.”

“Steve??? You’re having a similar reaction to him, is there something I don’t know about?”

“I guess you could say that.  Even though I don’t know where he is, I know he’ll be spiralling down a rabbit hole right now.  But you really need to ask him about it.  ”

“Well, that would be easier if he would answer my calls or messages.. I guess I’ll just have to keep trying.  If you see him, please ask him to talk to me.”

“I will.  And Megs, don’t give up on him and allow him to explain his thought processes..”

“Ok Steve, thanks.”

I decided then and there to try him again, I hadn��t tried calling him since before I left the tower.  I called and again it rang several times then went to voicemail, so I knew his phone was on.  

“Hey Buck, I’m not sure what’s going on but I guarantee whatever you think is happening probably isn’t.  I just need you to talk to me so I can put your mind at east.  Please, please call me.  Or come to me, I’m at Mum & Dad’s place. Please Buck, I love you.”

Not 30 seconds later, my phone started ringing, his face and name showing up as the caller.

Taglist:@cjand10@angstysebfan@psychictazzy76@lovely-geek@samanthaneedsanap @kentokaze @iheartsebastianstanstuff @void-imaginations @wolfsbeanpotion

[lorei-wrote]

Ikemen Sengoku - Series & Collections

Ongoing

Winter Flower [Series Masterlist Link]

[Currently on a break]

Pairing: Masamune x OC [Hana] Summary: Hana wakes up in the gardens of Azuchi castle without any recollection of her past. Who is she? What was she doing there? And most importantly – what is she supposed to do now? Placed under supervision of Lord Date, Hana has to find her footing in the unfamiliar reality of the warring states.

Doors That Connect & Divide [Series Masterlist Link]

Pairing: suitor x Reader Thriller / Thriller-adjacent Crossover Magic AU Bookshop / Shop AU Summary: A mist envelops your mind, your feet leading you down an unfamiliar path, all until you find yourself in front of a certain door. Its pull is near magnetic. What exactly have you done? Why do these men seem to know you? And most importantly: how to stop it? Only you can find the answers.

Completed

Halcyon Among Hills [Series Masterlist Link]

Pairing: suitor x Reader "Mystery" Crossover Alternate Universe Summary: The death of your great-grandfather comes with an inheritance hefty enough to pay off your family’s debt. While dealing with the financial matters himself, your father sends you to your great-grandmothers estate, to properly show your gratitude… However, things aren’t quite the way they should be. Content Warnings: none

Witches’ Sabbath [Series Masterlist Link]

3 Chapters Pairing: Shapeshifter!Masamune x Witch!MC Happy Ending Fantasy AU Summary: Each year, witches gather to renew their contracts with the gods. It so happens that Mai prefers to travel with her husband... Although nobody seems to realise who exactly is her cat. Content Warnings: food mention, pain mention, assault

Trials and Tribulations of an Unconsenting Time-Traveller [Series Masterlist Link]

21 Chapters Pairing: OC x Mitsuhide (chosen through voting) Bitter-Sweet Ending Premise: I sent my OC to Sengoku. Help me decide where will this story lead! Content Warnings: fire, near death experience, pain, being physically restrained, blood (cat claws), food, war, injury, anxiety, background character death

The Dragon of Yss [Series Masterlist Link]

20 Chapters Pairing: Masamune x MC Happy Ending Fantasy AU Action Summary: He wanted Mai to remain herself - and for that very reason, he promised to protect her, at any cost. No matter how far he’d have to travel to find her. Content Warnings:  food mention, human trafficking, alcohol mention, plague (implied), wound description,  death (background character),  homophobia (implied),  natural disaster - hunger (and it’s implications), sexual content (skippable)

Alike [Series Masterlist Link]

12 Chapters Pairing: Masamune x MC Happy Ending High School AU [Mai aged 17-18; Masamune: 18-19] Summary: He never quite realised that she existed until he heard a certain familiar tone to her voice. It seemed that, although fluent in the art of disappearing, she could not erase herself completely. Content Warnings: domestic abuse & neglect, blood (mention), food, emotional abuse, verbal violence  

Together [Series Masterlist Link]

4 Chapters Pairing: Masamune x MC Happy Ending Post-Canon Chronically Ill!MC Summary: He loved her dearly, each and every day - so much so that he couldn’t bear seeing her pain. However, he could do little to help, the cure having not yet been invented. Content Warnings: mentions of physical pain, chronic illness discussion, food mention

Collections

New Year’s Letters

Status: Completed Premise: Letters from warlords to their lover. Will they make it in time to celebrate the New Year together?

Mitsuhide, Masamune, Nobunaga, Hideyoshi, Mitsunari, Ieyasu, Kenshin, Shingen, Sasuke, Yukimura, Kennyo

Short Poems

Status: Completed Premise: Short poems with images surrounding certain characters

Masamune & Mitsuhide , Kenshin & Shingen , Hideyoshi & Mitsunari , Nobunaga & Kennyo , Ieyasu & Yukimura

Fairy Tales for Bedtime

Status: Hiatus [possibly indefinite] Pairing: suitor x ???* (*- up to interpretation)  Fantasy AU Choose Your Own Ending

White Fox Spirit - Mitsuhide , Two-Faced God - Kennyo, Connected Souls - Kenshin ,  The King of Liars - Shingen

Radio Call

Status: Completed Pairing: suitor x MC  Post Apocalypse AU Premise: The one-shoots tied together by the very same apocalypse, each taking part at a different stage of it.

Radio Call - Nobunaga,  Radio Call: Prelude - Masamune,  Radio Call: The Original  - Mitsuhide

A Game of Sun and Moon

Status: Completed Pairing: Mitsuhide x MC Choose Your Own Ending Premise: Mitsuhide has just departed on a mission or... Has he just returned? The story changes depending on which part you read first.

Rules, The Sun, The Moon , Endings & Behind the Scenes

Cubs

Status: Hiatus [Indefinite] Pairing: Masamune x MC Future AU Family AU Summary: Years had passed since he decided to cross borders of time and space to live in the future with her... And their family grew in size since then.

Little Tiger , Mommy, we have a problem , Not Alone , Storm

Had it happened in the future

[Warnings for this story will not be updated since I cannot get myself to read it].

Status: Completed Pairing: Masamune x MC Future AU

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5 

[carriesthewind]

Part two! My apologies for the accidental cliffhanger.

When we left off, a second attorney had just entered the picture, a Mr. "Steven Schwartz." However, I had recognized his name from somewhere...

Goddam it, Steven!

Fun fact! If you, as an attorney, sign your name to a legal filing, that’s your filing! You are responsible for the contents! If someone else writes the document and it’s full of lies, and you submitted it without checking? Guess what! You lied to the court and you are responsible!

Ok, look. I submit motions all of the time where some or all of the original drafting was done by someone else. That is very common. But I, like, read the draft first? I make sure I’m familiar with what it says, with the claims I am making, and if I’m not familiar with a case being cited, I double check it? Because I am responsible for the filings I submit to the court!

Bluntly? You should have had “reason to doubt.” We read portions of the filing together - you can scroll back up and read them. And it was weird! Really weird! If someone handed me a brief like that, I would not submit it without further discussion, research, and revision!

Yeah, I’m sure that will go over well with the Court.

Bonus:

I’d get a handwritten notarization from a different notary public on this one too.

So. Let’s see what Steven has to say for himself.

I trust him.

Which hey, by the way? This is part of the reason why courts take shit like this so seriously. When you, as an attorney, tell the court something is true, you are given the absolute benefit of the doubt. You are an officer of the court, and judicial action - serious judicial action - is taken on the assumption that you are being honest with the court. Once you have demonstrated that you will completely fabricate cases, that you will openly lie to the court - why should the court believe anything you say or file?

Shocked! I am shocked, I say! Whoever would have guessed!

Also, fuck off with that “supplement the legal research performed.” What legal research did you perform other than plugging prompts into ChatGPT? Point me to a specific cases cited in the brief that you actually looked up on your own. Hell, I’ll take it one further - what writing in the argument portion of brief did you write on you own? Point me to the sentences you personally wrote.

Oh. My God. My dude. Admit the cases were made up by the program. You did not “locate and cite” shit. The Court did not find the cases to be nonexistent - I mean, it did, but more importantly - they are nonexistent. The chatbot made them up. Please stop dumping kerosene on yourself. At this rate you are going to drown before you catch fire.

I…does this mean you checked the reliability of the chatbot by…asking it if it was reliable? I can’t parse this sentence any other way, but I also can’t believe it. Let’s check the attached excerpts.

Jesus fucking christ on a cracker.

THEN GO DOUBLE CHECK IT ON WESTLAW OR LEXIS. YOU ARE AN ATTORNEY. THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST BASIC PARTS OF YOUR GODDAM JOB.

WHY

Also: where are the screenshots proving you asked these questions before submission. Right now, there are no dates attached. And you have forfeited any presumption of truthfulness.

Who could have guessed that ChatGPT could lie! There was no way to find this out except by extensive probing by this court. Thank you, your honor, for the service you have performed for everyone.

“Revealed itself to be unreliable” - that’s what you say when you file something that contain factual allegations based on the word of someone who is later publicly exposed to be a complete malicious liar. It’s not what you say when you make legal claims based on fake cases that you didn’t bother to double-check, fed to you by a fucking chatbot that is known to make up nonsense.

I genuinely don’t know how to respond to that. You earlier said that Chat GPT "assured the reliability of its content." And the attached screenshots show you asking if the chatbot was making up cases. So you must have conceived of the possibility that the content could be false. So are you lying in #8 or #10?

No shit.

That doesn’t matter. He signed the filings. His name is on the brief. He is just as responsible as you are, if not more.

Also, you have two different #10s and #11s. Learn how to proofread your filings.

That’s nice.

Oh, well, if you're really sorry...Yeah, I’m sure that will go over really well with the court.

Translation: First, let’s move that notary fraud from a footnote into the order, since neither of you bothered to address it. Second, oh, there are multiple people involved in this? All of you into the dumpster then, and explain why I shouldn’t drop this match.

So obviously there is going to be more to come in this case. I will keep ya’ll posted.

Oh dear.

So as some of you may know, I love to point and laugh at bad legal arguments. And as fun as legal dumpster fires are when they are made by people who aren’t lawyers but think this whole “law” thing seems pretty simple, it’s even funnier when an actual, barred attorney is the person dumping gallons of kerosene into the dumpster.

And oh boy folks, do I have a fun ride for y’all today. Come with me on this journey, as we watch a lawyer climb into the dumpster and deliberately pour kerosene all over himself, while a judge holds a match over his head.

The court listener link is here, for those who want to grab a few bowls of popcorn and read along.

For those of you who don’t enjoy reading legal briefs for cases you aren’t involved with on your day off (I can’t relate), I will go through the highlights here. I will screenshot and/or paraphrase the relevant portion of the briefs, and include a brief explainer of what’s going on (and why it’s very bad, but also extremely funny). (Also, I’m not going to repeat this throughout the whole write-up, so for the record: any statements I make about how the law or legal system works is referring exclusively to the U.S. (And since this is a federal case, we are even more specifically looking at U.S. federal law.) Also, I don’t know how you could construe any of this to be legal advice, but just in case: none of this is, is intended to be, or should be taken as, legal advice.)

First, let’s get just a quick background on the case, to help us follow along. In brief, this is a civil tort suit for personal injury based on defendant’s (alleged) negligence. The plaintiff is suing the defendant (an airline), because he says that he was injured when a flight attendant struck his knee with a metal cart, and the airline was negligent in letting this happen. The airline filed a motion to dismiss on the grounds that there is an international treaty that imposes a time bar for when these kind of cases can be brought against an airline, and the plaintiff filed this case too many years after the incident.

The fun begins when the plaintiff’s attorney filed an opposition to the motion to dismiss. (So far, a good and normal thing to do.) The opposition argues that the claim is not time-barred because 1) the time bar was tolled by the defendant’s bankruptcy proceedings (that is, the timer for the time limitation was paused when the defendant was in bankruptcy, and started again afterwords), and 2) the treaty’s time limit doesn’t apply to this case because the case was filed in state court before the state statute of limitations expired, and the state court has concurrent jurisdiction over this kind of case.

I’m struggling a bit to succinctly explain the second reason, and there’s a reason for that.

You see, the whole opposition reads a bit…oddly.

This is how the opposition begins its argument, and it’s…weird. The basic principle is...mostly correct here, but the actual standard is that when reviewing a motion to dismiss for failure to state a claim (which is what the defendant filed) the court must draw all reasonable factual inferences in the plaintiff’s favor. But even then, you don’t just put that standard in your opposition. You cite to a case that lays out the standard.

Because that’s how courts and the law work. The courts don’t operate just based on vibes. They follow statutory law (laws made by legislature) and case law (the decisions made by courts interpreting what those laws mean). You don't just submit a filing saying, "here's what the law is," without citing some authority to demonstrate that the law is what you say (or are arguing) it is.

Again, this isn’t wrong (although I'm not sure what it means by new arguments?), but it’s weird! And part of the reason it’s weird is that it is irrelevant to the defendant’s motion to dismiss. The defendant filed a motion stating that based on the facts in the complaint, the plaintiff has not stated a claim based on which relief can be granted, because the complaint is time barred by a treaty. There is no reason for this language to be in the opposition. It’s almost like they just asked a chatbot what the legal standards are for a motion to dismiss for a failure to state a claim, and just copied the answer into their brief without bother to double-check it.

The opposition then cites a bunch of cases which it claims support its position. We will skip them for now, as the defendant will respond to those citations in its reply brief.

The last thing in the brief is the signature of the lawyer who submitted the brief affirming that everything in the brief is true and correct. An extremely normal - required, even! - thing to do. This will surely not cause any problems for him later.

The next relevant filing is the defendant’s reply brief. Again, the existence of a reply brief in response to an opposition is extremely normal. The contents of this brief are…less so.

Beg pardon?

Just to be clear, this is not normal. It is normal to argue that the plaintiff’s cases are not relevant, or they aren’t applicable to this case, or you disagree with the interpretations, or whatever. It is not normal for the cases to appear to not exist.

Some highlights from the brief:

Quick lesson in how to read U.S. case citations! The italicized (or underlined) part at the beginning is the name of the case. If it is a trial court case, the plaintiff is listed first and the defendant second; if the case has been appealed, the person who lost at the lower court level (the petitioner/appellant) will be listed first, and the person who won at the lower level (the respondent/appellee) will be listed second. There are extremely specific rules about which words in these names are abbreviated, and how they are abbreviated. Next, you list the volume number and name of the reporter (the place where the case is published), again abbreviated according to very specific rules, then the page number that the case starts on. If you are citing a case for a specific quote or proposition, you then put a comma after the beginning page number, and list the page number(s) on which the quote or language you are relying on is located (this is called a “pincite”). Finally, you put in parenthesis the name of the court (if needed)(and again, abbreviated according to extremely specific rules) and the year the case was decided.

So the plaintiff’s response cited to Zicherman, which they said was a case from 2008 that was decided by the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. However, the defendant was not able to find such a case. They were able to find a case with the same name (the same petitioner and respondent), but that case was decided by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1996, and the lower court cases associated with that case weren’t in the 11th circuit either. (The United States Reports is the only official reporter for the U.S. Supreme Court, and only includes SCOTUS decisions, so it’s not necessary to include the name of the court before the year it was decided.)

Just to be clear. The defendant’s brief is saying: the plaintiff cited and extensively quoted from these cases, and neither the cases nor the quotations appear to exist. These “cases” were not ancillary citations in the plaintiff’s brief. They were the authority it relied upon to make its arguments.

This is as close a lawyer can come, at this point in the proceedings, to saying, “opposing counsel made up a bunch of fake cases to lie to the court and pretend the law is something different than it is.”

That, “Putting aside that here is no page 598 in Kaiser Steel,” is delightfully petty lawyer speak for, “you are wrong on every possible thing there is to be wrong about.”

By page 5, the defendant has resorted to just listing all of the (apparently) made up cases in a footnote:

(skipping the citations to support this proposition)

This is where I return to my struggle to explain the opposition’s second reason why the motion to dismiss should not be granted. I struggled to explain the argument, because they failed to explain why the argument they were making (that plaintiffs can bring lawsuits against airlines in state court, and the state court have specific statutes of limitations for general negligence claims) was relevant to the question of whether the plaintiff’s specific claim against the airline was time barred by the treaty. Because 1) this case is in federal court, not state court, and 2) federal law - including treaties - preempts state law. Again, it’s almost like plaintiff’s attorney just typed a question about the time bar into a chatbot or something, and the machine, which wasn’t able to reason or actually analyze the issues, saw a question about the time to bring a lawsuit and just wrote up an answer about the statute of limitations.

We also end with a nice little lawyerly version of “you fucked up and we are going to destroy you.” The relief requested in the defendant’s original motion to dismiss was:

In their reply to the opposition, however:

“The circumstances” in this case, being the apparent fabrication of entire cases. Because courts tend to take that pretty seriously.

And the court took it seriously indeed. The defendant’s reply was docketed on March 15th of this year. On April 11th:

AKA: you have one week (an extremely prompt time frame for federal court) to prove to me that you didn’t just make up these cases.

On April 12th, the plaintiff’s attorney requests more time because he’s on vacation:

The judge grants the motion, but adds in another case that he forgot to include in his first order.

On April 25th, the plaintiff’s attorney files the following:

(And he lists the cases, with one exception, which he says is an unpublished decision.)

But he says of all of the cases except two, that the opinions…

Which is…nonsense?

First of all: if you cited a case, you had to get it from somewhere. Even unpublished opinions, if you are citing them in a brief, you are citing them because you pulled them off of westlaw or whatever. Which means you have access to the case and can annex it for the court. (There are even formal rules for how you cite unpublished opinions! And those rules include citing to where you pulled the damn case from!)

Secondly: remember that long digression I went into about how to read case citations? Remember that bit about how you include the name of the reporter (the place the case was published)? Yes, cases are published. They are printed in physical books, and they are published online in databases (e.g. lexis or westlaw). If the specific online database you are looking in does not have the case, you look somewhere else. If you have a judge telling you to get them a copy of the case Or Else, you track down a physical copy of the reporter if you need to and scan the damn thing yourself. You - literally - can’t just not have a copy of the case! (Especially published federal circuit court opinions, which multiple of these cases are! Those aren’t hard to find!)

And what kind of “online database” doesn’t include the entire opinion anyway? I’ve literally never heard of a case research database that only included partial opinions, because that wouldn’t be useful.

Maybe if we look at the attached annexed copies of the cases, that might give us some answers.

...

My friends, these things are just bizarre. With two exceptions, they aren’t submitted in any sort of conventional format. Even if you’ve never seen a legal opinion before, I think you can see the difference if you just glance through the filings. They are located at Docket entry #29 on Court Listener (April 25, 2023). Compare Attachments 6 and 8 (the real cases submitted in conventional format) to the other cases. Turning to the contents of the cases:

In the first one, the factual background is that a passenger sued an airline, then the airline filed a motion to dismiss (on grounds unrelated to the treaty's time bar), then the airline went into bankruptcy, then the airline won the motion to dismiss, then the passenger appealed. And the court is now considering that appeal. But then the opinion starts talking about how the passenger was in arbitration, and it seems to be treating the passenger like he is the one who filed for bankruptcy? It’s hallucinatory, even before you get to the legal arguments. The “Court of Appeals” is making a ruling overruling the district court’s dismissal based on the time bar, but according to the factual background, the case wasn’t dismissed based on the time bar, but on entirely other grounds? Was there some other proceeding where the claim was dismissed as time barred, and it’s just not mentioned in the factual background? How? Why? What is happening? Also it says Congress enacted the treaty? But, no? That’s…that’s not how treaties work? I mean, Congress did ratify the treaty? But they didn’t unilaterally make it!

In the second case, there’s an extended discussion of which treaty applies to the appellants claims, which is bizarre because there are two relevant treaties, and one replaced the other before the conduct at issue, so only the new treaty applies? There isn’t any discussion of the issue beyond that basic principle, so there is no reason there should be multiple paragraphs in the opinion explaining it over and over? Also, it keeps referring to the appellant as the plaintiff, for some reason? And it includes this absolutely hallucinatory sentence:

…the only part this that makes sense is that the argument is without merit. I’m not going to discuss the actual merits of the legal arguments in the opinion, because they are so bizarre and disjointed that even trying to describe them would require a Pepe Silvia-sized conspiracy board. Like the previous case, both the facts and the legal posture of the case change constantly, with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

The third one…oh boy. First, large portions of the “opinion” are individual paragraphs with quotations around the whole paragraph. What’s happening there? As far as the content of the opinion itself - I can’t. I mean that, I literally can’t. What is being discussed seems to change from paragraph to paragraph, much of it contradicting. It makes the first case seem linear and rational by comparison. The court finds it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over the defendant so dismisses the case based on a lack of subject matter jurisdiction? But also the defendant hasn’t contested jurisdiction? And also the court does hold that it has both subject matter and personal jurisdiction over the defendant? And then it denies the motion to dismiss the case? Also, at one point it cites itself?

…also, even if this was a real case, it doesn’t stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited it for in their opposition? I’m not going to go into the weeds (honestly it’s so hallucinatory I’m not sure I could if I tried), but, for example, the plaintiff’s reply brief states that the court held “that the plaintiff was not required to bring their claim in federal court.” The U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia is a federal court, and there is no discussion of any filings in state courts. The closest the “opinion” comes is with the statement, “Therefore, Petersen’s argument that the state courts of Washington have concurrent jurisdiction is unavailing.” (This statement appears to be completely disconnected from anything before or after it, so I am unsure what it is supposed to mean.)

Moving on, case number four is allegedly a decision by the Court of Appeals of Texas. It includes the following line:

Honestly, the plaintiff’s attorney best defense at this point is that he wasn’t intentionally trying to mislead the court, because if he was doing this on purpose, he would have edited the cases to make them slightly more believable. (Context in case you’ve lost track: these documents are supposed to be copies of the opinions he is citing. The screenshoted line makes it clear that what he is actually citing is, at best, someone else’s summary of an "opinion". It would be like if a teacher asked a student to photocopy a chapter of a book and bring it into class, and instead the student brought in a copy of the cliffs notes summary of that chapter. Except that the book doesn’t even exist.)

The actual contents of the “opinion” are, as is now standard, absolutely bonkers. First, the court decides that it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over Delta because “Delta did not purposefully avail itself of the benefits of conducting business in Texas.” This was despite the fact that the factual background already included that the appellant (sorry, the plaintiff, according to the “opinion”) flew on a Delta flight originating in Texas. Like, this is just wrong? It’s not even hallucinatory nonsense, it’s just facially incorrect legal analysis. Then the court starts discussing the treaty’s time bar, for some reason? Then it goes back to talking about personal jurisdiction, but now the trial court denied the defendant’s motion to dismiss for lack of personal jurisdiction, and the appellate court agrees with the trial court that it does have personal jurisdiction, even though this is the plaintiff’s appeal from the dismissal for lack of personal jurisdiction and the court already ruled it didn’t have personal jurisdiction? And even though on page 1, the plaintiff was injured during a flight from Texas to California, now on page 7 she was injured on a flight from Shanghai to Texas? Also the trial court has gone back in time (again) to grant the motion to dismiss that it previously denied?

Also, I’ve been trying to avoid pointing out the wonky text of these submissions, but:

Everything ok there?

Case number five is similar enough to number four that it’s not worth repeating myself.

Thank god, cases six and eight, as noted above, are real cases, so I’m going to skip them. The defendant alleges that the cases do not stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited them for, and I’m going to assume that is true, given the rest of this nonsense.

Case number seven looks legitimate on the surface. But neither the defendant nor I could find the case through any legitimate search mechanisms. The defendant looked up the purported docket numbers on PACER and found completely different cases; I was able to find a case with the name “Miller v. United Airlines, Inc.,” but it was for a different Ms. Miller, it was a California state case (not a Second Circuit federal case), it was decided on a different year, and the substance of the case was entirely different from the alleged opinion filed with the court.

On top of that, this might be the most morally reprehensible fake citation of them all? Because it is about the crash of United Airlines Flight 585, a real plane crash. Everyone on board - 25 people in total - was killed. 

The individual cited in this fake court case was not one of them.

I cannot imagine conducting myself in such a way where I would have to explain to a judge that I made up a fake case exploiting a real tragedy because I couldn’t be bothered to do actual legal research.

Now, I know you all have figured out what’s going on by now. And I want you to know that if your instincts are saying, “it seems like the lawyer should have just fallen on his sword and confessed that he relied on ChatGPT to write his original brief, rather than digging himself further into this hole”? Your instincts are absolutely correct.

Because obviously, the court was having none of this b.s. On May 4th, the court issued an order, beginning with the following sentence:

That is one of the worst possible opening sentences you can see in an order by the court in a situation like this. The only thing worse is when judges start quoting classic literature. If I was Mr. Peter LoDuca, counsel for the plaintiff, I would already be shitting my pants.

“I gave you an opportunity to either clear things up or come clean. Now I’m going to give you an opportunity to show why I should only come down on you like a pile of brinks, instead of a whole building.”

We are getting dangerously close to “quoting classic lit” territory here.

If I learned that the judge in my case called up the clerk of a circuit court just to confirm how full of shit I was, I would leave the legal profession forever. Also, the judge is now also putting quotes around “opinion.” When judges start getting openly sarcastic in their briefs, that means very very bad things are about to happen to someone.

So I’m guessing the delay between this filing and the court order was because the judge’s clerk was tasked with running down every single one of the additional fake citations included in the "opinions", just to make this sure this order (and the upcoming pile of bricks) are as thorough as possible.

If you are following along with Dracula Daily, the vibe here is roughly the same as the May 19th entry where Dracula demands Jonathan Harker write and pre-date letters stating he has left the castle and is on the way home.

Also, hey, what’s that footnote?

Wait, what?

Folks, it appears we may have notary fraud, on top of everything else! Anybody have bingo?

So on May 25, one day before the deadline, Mr. LoDuca filed his response. And oh boy, I hope ya’ll are ready for this.

Hey, what’s the name of that other attorney, “Steven Schwartz”? Where have I seen that name before…

...I ran out of room for images on this post. So I'm going to have to leave this as an accidental cliffhanger. Part 2 to follow once I refresh my tea.

[alexgasun]

Reading Wrap Up 2023

In 2023 I got back into reading. I loved reading as a child but as I grew older I had less and less time to read. Also I didn't know what to read. When I was in school, classics were most popular but I didn't enjoy reading classic literature. This year, I quit my job and I had a lot of free time. I borrowed my boyfriend's kindle and started reading again. I mostly read fantasy and romance, fantasy romance too. I try reading mostly adult books in these genres because I do enjoy reading some smut.

I've read 102 books in total, DNF-ed 52. So, here is my list of the best, most mediocre and the worst books I've read.

Best books 2023 : 1. The Jasad Heir by Sara Hashem (adult fantasy romance)- this is book 1 in The Scorched Throne duology. Second book release date has not been announced yet. In this story we follow Sylvia, lost and presumed dead heir to Jasad. Sylvia's main goal is to survive. She has no plans to reclaim the throne or help her people who are murdered for their magic.

2. Silver in the Bone by Alexandra Bracken (young adult fantasy, romance) - book 1 in Silver in the Bone series. I'm not sure how many books there will be in the series. There is no release date for book 2. In this story we follow siblings who are searching for Arthurian ring. The world is very well constructed. It's magical, dark.

3. Children of Fallen Gods by Carissa Broadbent (adult fantasy romance) - book 2 in The War of Lost Hearts trilogy (complete). I don't want to write much about premise of this book because I'm afraid to spoil anything for anyone. You definitely need to read book 1 Daughter of No Worlds before you read book 2. Book 2 is told in 3 POVs, 2 of them are connected and one of them is kind of independent. All I will say is that this book is heartbreaking, beautiful, tense and emotional. The ending is my Roman Empire. And it's the best book in the series, in my opinion.

4. Tress of Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson (young adult fantasy romance) - part of the Cosmere series (ongoing) which consists of mostly independent stories. I decided to read this because TikTok won't shut up about Brandon Sanderson. I've seen how thick his books are and I want to avoid them, no matter how great they may be. But Tress of Emerald Sea is about 500 pages and it was a very light read. And, most importantly, so much fun. In this story we follow Tress, who leaves her island to search for her beloved. Such a magical work. It takes you back to good parts of your childhood, I don't know how to explain it.

5. A Sky Beyond the Storm by Sabaa Tahir (young adult fantasy romance) - book 4 of An Ember in the Ashes series (complete). It's a final book in the series. You definitely need to read previous books to appreciate this work. Again, I don't want to spoil anything so all I will say that this is a perfect ending to the series. It wraps everything up, there are no questions left. So devastatingly beautiful, sad, hopeful. I'm tearing up as I'm writing this. I do want to mention that I would not qualify this as a young adult book. There are some pretty heavy topics involved, there is gore and torture (which is described in detail too). Definitely check out warnings.

6. At The End There Was You by Wendy Heiss (fantasy romance). Pretty short novella, not part of any series. The God of Death has announced that he will destroy the world in 7 days. We follow Winter, our main character, as she assists Azriel - a mage in trying to find a way to avoid the end of the world. Beautifully written. Some heavy topics discussed/mentioned.

7. Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer (young adult/adult fantasy romance). Book 1 in Assistant to the Villain trilogy (ongoing). The author recently announced book 2 release date (August 2024). This book is a very light read even though some heavy topics are discussed. If you want something "serious", deep. intricate and complicated you should probably skip this one. The main reason why I have it in the list of Best books is because of the romance. I'm a sucker for a slowburn, especially in fantasy genre and romance storyline in Assistant to the Villain is exactly what I want to see. In this book we follow Evie - the main provider of her family - as she works as an assistant to The Villain. The main plotline revolves around the Villain and Evie trying to find out who is the spy in their castle.

8. The Right Move by Liz Tomforde (contemporary sports romance, adult) - book 2 in Windy City series (ongoing). There are 3 books in the series so far, mostly independent from each other with reoccurring characters. In this story we follow Indy, who has recently ended a relationship and needs a play to crash and Ryan, who is captain in a basketball team. Just read it.

9. Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez (contemporary adult romance) - book 2 in Part of Your World series (I'm not sure whether there will be more books in this series). You don't have to read book 1 but I do recommend it. The main female character is Briana - recently divorced, overworked. Her brother is sick so she takes care of him too. She's hoping to get promoted in the hospital but suddenly, a new doctor appears! Understandably, initially tensions are high. I must say, this might be my favorite romance of all time. Jacob is the best book boyfriend ever. There is no one like him. His universe revolves around Briana. Sorry, I'm a sucker for simps.

This list was supposed to include one more book but it's published under St. Martin's Press against which there is ongoing creator's boycott. While I'm not a creator and have 0 followers, I still want to support the boycott so I will not be mentioning the book title or the author. Also somehow this list took me almost an hour to write and the post is already huge. Will to mediocre books list in another post

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

The Break-uP list:

Things to remember when breaking up with someone.

It's not your fault.

Bad communication (the lack of good communication) is most likely to blame.

It takes two people to have a relationship.

One-sided relationships are not relationships.

Any level of dishonesty is not true love.

The lack of the other person talking about how they feel is not your fault.

If the person you are breaking up with refuses to tell you what's wrong and gives you the cold-shoulder-silent-treatment instead without bothering to explain why they are behaving that way, it's not your fault. If they go cold instead of being warm and transparent and willing to communicate the problem, that also is NOT your fault.

No healthy relationship should involve possessiveness and butthurt feelings in place of honest, open communication.

Passive-aggressive behavior doesn't belong in any relationship.

If the person you have been dating exhibits any of the above behaviors...none...of...that...is...your...fault.

What it means when someone exhibits this kind of behavior is they are neurotic and toxic and best left in your past. What this also means is they need emotional maturity and most likely some mental healing of their own, and also, maybe a touch of therapy wouldn't hurt either.

Their issues and insecurities are NOT your fault. They already had those issues well-founded and deeply rooted within their psyche long before they laid eyes on you.

Their issues and how they deal with their issues are not your fault.

You are not a mind reader, nor are you their "god" and you do not have the ability to completely and utterly be responsible for their "happiness" 24/7. You must sleep and eat and breathe.

So, you see, what that person does is, they bring their issues to the relationship and then project them onto you the second they feel threatened and don't know what to do.

Instead of opening up to you and discussing their issues, they go the opposite direction by closing you off and shutting you out and acting cold and distant, and being short with their words.

Heads up, ladies...it's generally MEN who act this way, so don't be surprised when the next, new man in your life does this to you.

If the person you are breaking up with exhibits any of these behaviors all the while denying they are exhibiting these behaviors and acts coldly toward you in the process, as if it's your fault or something you've done...that is CLASSIC GASLIGHTING AND emotional manipulation. Recognize it so it doesn't happen to you, and if it does, you'll know to avoid it or the person doing it.

Also, last but most importantly...if a person is warm for two days and cold on the third with no explanation as to why and refuses to talk to you about it and remains cold until it snows...they ARE NOT

YOUR SAFE PERSON!

Safe is always warm. 💯🔥🏹✨🙏