#god that sentence sounds so wrong
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kaiserouo · 4 months ago
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3 states of omen
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welcometogrouchland · 6 months ago
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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
#dc comics#dc#batfamily#batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig#i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did#I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon#mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation 😭#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j#anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j#me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc#-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre#god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it#i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah 👍 bad sketches be upon you#mine
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unionizedwizard · 5 months ago
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funniest thing ive learned (and that's coming from someone who had debilitating perfectionist tendencies) is that making your own mistakes is actually thrilling and really fun because it really feels like gaining xp and leveling up but irl. like ah shit i see. well i'll know that's a soak marker next time kinda deal
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spacecrows · 1 year ago
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hell is other people answering machines
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witchwhaat · 2 years ago
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nobodybetterlookatme · 1 month ago
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you’re valid
Thank you but the general concensus from the girlies has been no I'm not LMAO I just have zero reading comprehension and was dramatic for no reason, so I'm just gonna go ahead and delete that other post now bc I overreacted over literally nothing ahdkakskal
#not snz#this is so fucking embarrassing for me but now i have to explain ahakdksl#so yeah he did say his roommates were gonna be gone#but he said that in response to me giving excuses#one of which was that he probably had plans or was doing something with his roommates#i did say other things lmao like i spat a bunch of messages out kinda rapid fire#but that was the first one he responded to and i just zeroed in on that and not the context bc it freaked me out ahskaksks#like i see it now that they pointed it out and I'm about to fucking die about it 😭#i really panicked for nothing like thank god but also wtf is wrong with me lmao we might have to bring that up in therapy#they did agree that it looked kinda bad if you start at that message but it's fine in context#also he literally included a 'no pressure' in one of his messages that my brain skipped right the fuck over#like i really truly saw nothing else but that and a couple other sentences and i feel so fucking bad 😭😭#nobody say anything bad about my partner that was on me I'm fucking mortified#I'm actually never gonna live this down I'm getting rightfully dragged in the gc now lmao 😭#sorry for stressing y'all out by being illiterate everything is okay apparently ahskalskallz#but i mean hey it was that ask that made me send screenshots to the gc hours later so now i can stop having a crisis 😭#god i should've taken a fucking nap earlier it's 3:30am and i feel like I'm dying#and I'm so cold 😭 it's bedtime i can't be awake any longer#again I'm so sorry y'all i really had a panic over nothing ahsjaks we love trauma#also sorry to my partner who literally did nothing wrong and i made him sound like a dick 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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sensitivegoblin · 2 months ago
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AHG!!!!!!!!!!!
Im screaming until my throat hurts in my mind
#im so stupid n fucked up with mood swings#and i keep fucking up in my masking#like my dads not mean but hes just grumpy n blunt#so i just feel like i keep fucking up in everyday interactions#like every other sentence i say was just not the right one no matter how hard i try#like....he likes breakfast alot ok and gets sad of he sleeps too late on weekends#so i call him and he sounded upset so i tried to give an out like “oh its ok take your time” or something similar and he just louder and-#-angerier the kinder i try to be#so like what the fuck? :(#life just feels like a video game and some how im picking all the wrong dialoge options#masked? wrong. unmasked? wrong. mirror? wrong. wallflower? STILL SOMEHOW WRONG#writing those out n realizing how untrue i am to myself 95% of my time.....:')#fuck#i just reallu cant get it right#also admitidly i wanted to get out the house cus im having a bad mental episode kinda night like im warding off an anxiety attack#so it just hurts extra to be proven yet again that my dad has changed with age and now i am alone#:'(#im so sso so sad i wish i could cry with someone safe that would try to stop me just comfort me#i really really REALLY need to cry :(#but my emotions just make my dad mad......#and crying alone hurts my fucking chest so badly and usually ends in SH#i wish i could end it but im so scared of failing and pain and being a burden#i hate that im so stupid and broken i wish i was normal and could work and live in a real house :(#i just have so little hope for my future#and taking it one day at a time is for people who dont have literal Hell in there head#their*#i should let myself cry to get it out of my system but im so alone#i wish i could mentally step back and let someone else take the wheel.....#some people are mean drunks and then theres me; crying on my hands and knees scream begging to God to posses me with an Angel#i try to think that God has a plan and itll be worth it but....what if the plan is im a background chatecter and fade away?
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novablisters · 10 months ago
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“oh btw you have to be this gender and it defines how people perceive you and how you have to act and also you have to play an emotional puzzle game full of pins and needles and knives to love in this specific way to be fulfilled and it has to be with this gender and they have to look a certain way or else you’re a moron with low standards and you have to dress this certain way and if you for some reason don’t have enough control to do this we will try to strip you of the inherent value you have by merit of being alive in the eyes of man and regardless you will have to do gymnastics to figure out how to survive in this complicated system we built that doesn’t care about you as anything more than a replaceable cog”
awesome! great! one question, can I as a living sentient being have my own feelings? two questions, actually, can I decide how I want to live? three. can I decide anything about who I am. why do I have to live by your rules. do I have freedom in any way that matters. do you even want me to. you will continue to try to stomp me out as if I am a pesky fire. will I burn you?
#started from gender dysphoria but the first sentence snowballed because it’s almost valentines day#and then#bashing my head against the wall#there’s million things I could tag this with but you know what I Don’t Fucking Care#I am built to LOVE I AM BUILT FOR JOY AND PLEASURE AND#NOBODY IS LISTENING EVERYONE IS PLAYING THE GAME I WANT OUT I WANT OUT OF IT I AM SHACKLED AND CHAINED BY THINGS NOBODY BATS AN EYE AT#I am so lonely in ways that nobody understands#the salmon are kissing and it sounds like the words of god#I just want to love#but the way I do is wrong#I cannot love myself because I am Wrong#but I do anyway#and I love you and I love bizarre campy shit and I love childish things and I love diversity and I love living and I love freedom#and I love art and I love life and I love subtle small things about nature and even human society#I love the complex and the nebulous and the indescribable and I love you formulaic and I love you pain and I love you light#and I love you darkness and I love you horror and I love you hope and I love you broken and shattered and Wrong#is it so selfish to want to be loved in return#to be loved for all that is both understood and impossible to understand about me#to be loved by someone who can also see the destructive force in car exhaust and fall in love with it#but also see the creek flow and fall to their knees because it is so beautiful that by chance we have water and therefore life#to be loved in a way so raw that to deem it romantic is to dumb it down#but nothing can ever be Truly understood#science is an endless game of desparately clinging to sense#as we write what we find only to discover something else completely is true#maybe we’re all the atom#model after model is drawn but we may never really know what and why and how#we try to draw it but it can never be so simple
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cescalr · 1 year ago
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I LOVE HOW YOU TAG PARAGRAPHS THEYRE FUN TO READ!! /gen
Thank you!!! I love to ramble!!!
#i'm so wordy. i am SO wordy. i never ever fail at a minimum word requirement#but oh god the second my uni says no MORE than 2000 words i freak out. what do you mean no more than 2000 words. does less than 2000 words#and tumblr not yelling at me about tag length even exist?#is it possible to not type out an entire paragraph when i have even a single thought? do people really go around with one word sentences in#side their heads all day? do you see a cool thing and go oh cool thing! and move on#instead of oh cool thing! this reminds me of my very specific brainrot!#which is to say chronic inability to shut the fuck up#so i'm glad. you are entertained lmao#that's all i intend! i'm literally blogging tumblr is a blogging platform. the point is to put my thoughts out there! throw them out! into#the void! the dark abyss (i use the goth rave dashboard theme so this is literal) and hope#just hope i get like a call back. a little nod. and i got one <3 thank you <3#also (genuinely) i'm assuming /gen means /genuine but like it could also mean /general or some kind of acronym like pos (piece of shit) so.#am i right? im not. up to date. the last time#i paid attention to txt spk and it's ilk was like 2015#i make assumptions but i am Often Wrong (i still don't know what tfw stands for my brain just goes 'time for when' and it's like 'yeah that#sounds legit' and i'm like 'what the fuck are you talking about? time for when? that doesn't even make sense.#why do you think that sounds legit?'#but i'm asking myself that question so i dont' get an aswer. ah well#you can tell i should be sleeping rn. i get even more verbose and use words like ilk when i'm tired. hence: sleep time now yes.#but again; for real all jokes and minor japes aside: thanks! i'm glad i'm really not just shouting into the void for nobody to hear here.
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euphoricimagination · 1 year ago
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𝓗𝓪𝓲𝓴𝔂𝓾𝓾 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓼 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓹𝓲𝓬𝓴-𝓶𝓮 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵
Feat. Nekoma & Inarizaki -> Part 2 [Aoba Johsai & Fukurodani]
Premise: You had to do something else for a week and a half, leaving the boys alone for that period. Although they told the coaches that they could survive without you, the coaches ask a girl to help them out instead. They weren’t particularly excited, which got worse the more they spent time with her
Nekoma
You arrived later than you expected, just on time for the club, So you didn’t get to see your dear team until much later
When you enter the gym, you see a…strange view
No one in the team was happy
Yaku and Kai didn’t have any expressions on them, Lev was pouting aggressively, Fukunaga had a frown, Yamamoto was mumbling words and Kenma was nowhere to be seen.
The girl that was supposed to replace you for the week was walking besides a very annoyed Kuroo, who was pushing the cart with the balls
Weird, considering that doing that was the basics for being a manager
They were so out of it that none notice the sound of your shoes, weird considering how attentive they are
“Ah Kuroo senpai, thank God you helped me! I’m so small and weak that I wasn’t able to push it over” you heard her say, making you cringe at the sentence
“Yeah, whatever” said a disinteresting Kuroo
And that’s when you confirm that something was really wrong, Kuroo was never this dismissive
“What’s happening? Everything ok?” you asked making Kuroo turn around with a relief smile on
“Oh hi, Kuroo senpai was just helping me since you know, I’m so small and weak” says fluttering her eyes at him
“It’s just pushing the cart. It has wheels on it…” You gave a disbelief look to Kuroo, who just rolls his eyes “it’s not that hard”
“Maybe for someone as big as you it wouldn’t be so difficult!”
That was it for Kuroo, who quickly move to your side giving you a hug
“Well, guess you can leave now that our manager is back. Bye”
"Kuroo-senpai!! Stooop! I can stay here too!” says stomping her feet
The whole commotion cause everyone to look at you, and you swear you heard a collective sigh full of relief
Quickly enough you felt a bunch of arms around you, a bunch of head pats and a ton of screams of your name
Which quickly was interrupted by a loud scream by the girl “KYANMA!!”
You look at the stairs where Kenma was standing shaking slightly with big eyes. The girl tried to get close to him, yelling “They are being mean, Kyanma!” but he just runs away towards you
Yes. Run. He hated her, she was so loud and desperate, Kenma literally couldn’t stand her.
“You’re back” says Kenma hiding behind you, showing more happiness that you ever have seen from him
So happy that he went to hug you tightly, he really missed you
“Anyways, now that our team is finally complete you can leave. Please go out” says Kuroo
“Agh! Fine! I’m way too good for you anyways!”
She sends you a look full of venom, but you didn’t really notice it
After all, you had a clingy Kenma hugging you tightly and the rest of the team waiting for one
Inarizaki
After your small break reached an end you finally were ready to go back to your boys
They were having a small hangout in the Miya household
They tried to be sneaky about it, not wanting to invite the girl that was replacing you
But sadly for them, she somehow knew and crash into them before you could arrive
She’s the first person you see when you enter their house with the spare key they gave you
“Who are you?” she asks with her eyebrow raising
“Ehh…I’m Yn, their manager. You helped them while i was out?” You ask back, confused at her sudden presence
“Yes…I actually think I should be the new manager! After all I play like 17 sports and definitely know more than you about sports. What do you think this is? Cheer? Not like it’s a sport, but whatever” she says with a overconfident smirk
In the meantime the guys that were already in the house starting to appear into the hall, confused at how loud her voice was being
“Anyways! Why don’t you leave? A girl like you probably doesn’t even know a thing about sports! We’re gonna play videogames while you probably just want to paint your nails or whatever!”
“Who says you’re staying?” Atsumu says, frowning
“Ha Ha, you’re so funny Atsumu! Of course I’m staying” she says nervous
“No, you’re not” Osamu adds
“I’m sure we can all hang out tog-” you try to say
“You shut it! I bet you don’t know anything about the sport!” She says to you despite you trying to help her
“Really? You barely even know what we play, you just join because you wanted to see hot guys” a voice behind you says, Suna entering the house as he passes his arm through your shoulders
The girl immediately went pale, stammering the next sentence “well…well, I mean, of course I know!”
“Sure, that's why you asked 'if we knew' the rules of basketball yesterday. Just leave, nobody wants you here anyway”
She scoffs annoyed, looking at the rest of the team as if asking for help, which she doesn’t receive. She scoffs one more time, walking towards the door and leaving as she shoots a glare towards you
“You guys are so mean” you say, receiving a chuckle
“She deserved it, if anything she just hinder our practice” Osamu adds
“Besides, nobody talks about our beautiful manager like that” Atsumu hugs you along side Suna
The rest of the team also comes to hug you, and while they were a bit rude, you knew that they only had good intentions
You love this foxes too much
----
Note: a little something about my boys, also, I cringed way too much while writing this
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vanteguccir · 4 months ago
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── ୨୧ ! ��� 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗛𝗦 𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥
         𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader
SUMMARY: Where Y/N's and Matt's babies are finally born after 9 long months of waiting; OR, where Matt is finally a dad.
WARNING: Pregnancy, crying, mentions of labor, pain.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
A/N²: I cried while writing this one, it totally melted my heart 🥺
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The contractions hit Y/N like a tidal wave, her breath catching in her throat as she gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, her knuckles turning white. The pain radiated from her lower back, wrapping around to her abdomen in tight, relentless waves. She sucked in a sharp breath, her heart pounding in her chest.
They had been waiting for this moment for nine long months, and yet, now that it was here, the reality of it was almost overwhelming. She tried to call out for Matt, her voice wavering, but the pain was so intense that it felt as if it was squeezing the sound right out of her.
Matt was in the living room, his eyes glued to his laptop as he reviewed some emails. It had been a busy few weeks leading up to the due date, and he was trying to get ahead of things before the twins arrived.
The sound of Y/N’s voice, strained and filled with pain, cut through his concentration like a knife. His head snapped up, his heart skipping a beat. He leaped from the couch, knocking his laptop to the floor, and sprinted into the kitchen, his heart racing with panic.
"Honey? What’s wrong? Is it- oh God, it’s happening, isn't it?" Matt’s voice was a mixture of excitement and sheer panic as he reached her side. He placed a gentle but trembling hand on her back, his eyes wide with concern as he watched her struggle to breathe through the contraction. "Breathe, baby, breathe. Do you need water? No, wait- sit down. Should you sit? Or should you lie down? Oh my God, I should call 911!"
Y/N squeezed his hand, her face scrunched up in pain, but she managed a breathless laugh.
"Matt, relax... it’s okay. Just-" She interrupted her own sentence when a new wave of pain invaded her whole body.
"Come here, sweetheart." Matt gently guided Y/N to the edge of the kitchen chair, his expression shifting from sheer panic to a momentary calmness, trying to ground himself in the situation.
He knelt down in front of her, his hands trembling slightly as he placed them on her knees. His eyes, wide with worry, locked onto hers as he tried to steady his breathing.
"How long has this been going on?" His voice held a perfect mix of calmness and nerves, the gravity of the situation starting to dawn on him. He reached out instinctively, his hand gently resting on her stomach, feeling the tension in her muscles.
"Oh God, I don’t know." Y/N replied, wincing as another contraction hit, this one even stronger. She grasped Matt's hand tightly, her grip involuntarily squeezing his fingers. "Maybe an hour or so... but it’s so much worse right now."
Matt’s eyes widened, the shock and concern evident in his expression. He swallowed hard, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke.
"Okay, okay, don’t panic." His voice was a bit firmer now, though a subtle tremble betrayed his nerves. He gently cupped her face in his hands, his touch warm and reassuring as he looked deeply into her eyes. "We need to time these contractions, okay? See if they’re far apart or getting closer together..."
Y/N nodded weakly, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she tried to focus on his words. Matt quickly grabbed his phone, fumbling with it slightly as he opened the timer app. He sat back on his heels, his eyes darting between the screen and Y/N's face, waiting for the next contraction to hit.
When it did, she squeezed his hand again, and he hit the timer. They both watched the seconds tick by, the silence in the room only broken by Y/N's labored breathing. The contraction passed, and Matt stopped the timer, noting the time with a furrowed brow.
"Okay, that was... three minutes." He said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked up at her, his heart pounding in his chest. "We’re close, Y/N. We need to get you to the hospital now."
He helped her to her feet, moving with a newfound urgency but still managing to maintain a steady calmness, knowing he had to be strong for her. He wrapped an arm around her waist, supporting her as they made their way out to the car, his determination stronger than ever.
He opened the passenger door of their car, gently easing her into the seat before rushing to the driver’s side.
"Matt, the... the bag."
"Right! The bag!" Matt practically yelled as if suddenly remembering the concept of bag. "I'm gonna be right back, baby!"
He darted back to the house, running around the kitchen like a man possessed, searching for the hospital bag they had packed weeks ago. He spotted it by the door and grabbed it, nearly tripping over his own feet in his rush to get back to Y/N.
"Here, I’ve got the bag! And... what else? Do we need snacks? Maybe you want something to eat before we go?"
Y/N's response was a groan as another contraction hit, stronger this time.
"Okay, no snacks, got it. We’re going to the hospital now, I promise. I’ll get you there, Y/N. I won’t let anything happen to you or the babies, okay?"
As he started the car, his mind raced. He had planned for this moment, had rehearsed it in his head a thousand times, but now that it was happening, he felt completely unprepared. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white, and he glanced over at Y/N, who was trying to remain calm despite the pain.
Matt hated seeing her in so much pain, his heart aching with every sharp intake of breath she made.
"Okay, okay, we’re going. We’re going." He muttered to himself as he pulled out of the driveway, his voice a mix of determination and barely contained panic. The streets of Los Angeles blurred past them as he sped toward the hospital, his mind racing with all the things he needed to do.
"Siri!" He suddenly barked at the car’s dashboard, his voice urgent. "Send a text to Chris and Nick."
"What would you like to say?" Siri responded in its calm, robotic tone.
"Um... Uh..." Matt hesitated, trying to form a coherent sentence as he glanced nervously at Y/N, who was breathing heavily beside him. "Tell them... we’re on our way to the hospital. Y/N's in labor. Get there by tomorrow morning. And don’t panic like I am because... just get there!"
"Sending message to Chris and Nick." Siri confirmed, and Matt let out a shaky breath, his hands trembling as he continued driving.
Y/N chuckled softly, despite the pain, and Matt shot her a quick, incredulous look.
"What? What's funny?"
"You are." She managed to say between contractions. "You're... adorable when you're freaking out."
Matt’s face flushed as he gave her a sheepish grin.
"I'm just trying to keep it together here, baby. You’re the one doing all the hard work."
"Trust me... I know." She replied, wincing as another contraction rolled through her.
Finally, they pulled up to the hospital entrance, and Matt jumped out of the car, nearly forgetting to put it in park in his haste to get to Y/N's side. He waved frantically at a nurse standing nearby, who immediately came over with a wheelchair.
"She's in labor! It's happening! We need to- she needs- help!" Matt's words tumbled out in a rush as he helped Y/N into the wheelchair, his voice rising in pitch with every word.
The nurse smiled reassuringly, clearly used to panicked fathers-to-be, and guided them inside.
"Don’t worry, we'll take good care of her. Just follow me."
As they were whisked away to the delivery room, Matt's heart pounded in his chest, his mind racing with thoughts of what was about to happen. He couldn't believe that in just a few hours, they would finally meet their babies.
Once in the right room, Y/N was settled onto the bed, her breaths coming in short, sharp bursts as the contractions intensified. Matt stayed by her side, clutching her hand as if it was his only lifeline. He leaned in close, his voice trembling but filled with love as he whispered,
"You’re doing amazing, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you."
Y/N squeezed his hand, her eyes locking onto his.
"I need you to stay calm, okay? We've got this... together."
Matt nodded, swallowing hard as he brushed a few strands of hair from her face.
"Together. I’m right here with you, every step of the way."
The room buzzed with activity, doctors and nurses moving around with practiced efficiency, but all Matt could focus on was Y/N’s face, her eyes squeezed shut as she battled through another contraction.
Time seemed to warp in the delivery room. Minutes stretched into hours, the pain of each contraction relentless, only broken by brief moments of respite. Matt stayed by Y/N’s side, his voice soft and steady as he encouraged her, even though his own nerves were frayed to the core. He watched the monitors anxiously, every beep and flicker, causing his heart to jump.
"Matt." Y/N whispered, her voice trembling with exhaustion as another contraction hit. "I can’t... I don’t know if I can do this."
Matt’s heart broke at the sight of her so vulnerable, so exhausted. He took a deep breath, brushing a few strands of hair away from her sweaty forehead and leaning in close, his lips brushing her temple.
"You’re the strongest person I know." He murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "You’ve got this, baby. I’m right here with you. And in the end, everything will be worth it, yeah?"
Hours later, after what felt like a lifetime of labor, the doctor finally said the words they had been waiting to hear.
"It's time to push."
Y/N gritted her teeth, her entire body trembling with the effort as she bore down, Matt’s hand in hers, his words of encouragement a constant in the whirlwind of pain and exhaustion. The room seemed to close in around them, everything else fading away as they focused on bringing their babies into the world.
"Breath." Matt murmured, his hand gently rubbing her tense shoulders. "Just focus on your breathing. In and out, slow and steady. You got this, sweet girl. It's almost ending."
The first cry shattered the tension in the room, a tiny wail that echoed in Matt’s ears like the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. He watched in awe as the doctor carefully lifted their first baby - a tiny, wriggling girl - into the air.
Time seemed to freeze as the nurse quickly wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to Y/N. Matt felt tears well up in his eyes as he looked down at his daughter for the first time. She was perfect, with a shock of dark hair and rosy cheeks, her eyes squeezed shut as she continued to cry.
"She’s beautiful." Y/N whispered, tears streaming down her face as she cradled their daughter against her chest, gluing her small head to her chin. Matt leaned down, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s forehead, his own tears finally spilling over.
But the moment was short-lived as Y/N was hit with another wave of contractions. The doctor quickly reminded them that there was still one more baby to bring into the world, taking their daughter away from them so Y/N could concentrate.
"One more, honey. Just one more. You can do this. You're so strong, I know you can." Y/N, though exhausted, steeled herself for the final round, and with Matt’s unwavering support, she pushed again.
Minutes later, another cry filled the room, this one just as heart-wrenching and beautiful as the first. Their son was born, his tiny fists clenched as he wailed with the full force of his little lungs.
"I don't... I don't know how to hold- Oh, okay." The nurse placed him in Matt’s arms, ignoring his sentence. He stared down at his son in awe, his arms trembling with fear of holding him in the wrong way, or worse, dropping him.
The baby boy was the spitting image of his sister, with the same dark hair and tiny features, though his cries were slightly less intense.
"He's... he's so small." Matt whispered in awe.
Matt’s breath caught in his throat as he carried his son over to Y/N - who was already holding their girl again -, his heart swelling with a love so profound it was almost overwhelming. He gently placed their son in Y/N’s free arm, and for the first time, they looked down at their twins together, their hearts filled with an indescribable mixture of joy, relief, and pure, unconditional love.
"We did it." Y/N whispered, her voice trembling with emotion as she looked up at Matt, tears streaming down her cheeks. "They’re here, and they’re perfect."
Matt could only nod, his throat too tight with emotion to speak. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his daughter’s tiny forehead, then his son’s, feeling the warmth of their little bodies against his skin. They were so small, so fragile, and yet so full of life.
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The next morning, the first rays of sunlight filtered through the blinds of the hospital room, casting a warm glow over the quiet scene. Y/N was resting peacefully, her exhaustion from the previous night’s labor evident in the serene expression on her face as she slept. The twins were nestled in their bassinets beside the bed, their tiny chests rising and falling in a synchronized rhythm, the only sounds in the room being their soft breathing.
Matt sat in the armchair near the window, his eyes moving between Y/N and their newborns, a small smile playing on his lips. He had hardly slept, but he didn’t mind. He was too filled with wonder, still wrapping his mind around the fact that he was now a father to two perfect little beings. The magnitude of the moment wasn’t lost on him, and every time he looked at his family, his heart swelled with a mixture of pride and overwhelming love.
Just then, a soft knock on the door drew Matt’s attention. He stood up quickly, careful not to disturb Y/N, and opened the door to find Nick and Chris standing in the hallway. Both of his brothers looked a little disheveled, their hair slightly messy from a night of restless sleep. Chris held a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and Nick had a stuffed animal - a small bear with a yellow bow - tucked under his arm. The moment they saw Matt, their faces broke into wide grins.
"Hey, Dad." Nick joked softly, giving Matt a one-armed hug while still holding the bear. "How’s it feel?"
Matt chuckled, the sound low and full of affection.
"Surreal." He admitted, stepping back to let them in. "Come on, they’re right over here."
Chris was the first to approach the bassinets, his breath catching as he looked down at the sleeping twins. He placed the bouquet on a nearby table, his hands trembling slightly as he reached out, but then hesitated, as if afraid to disturb the peaceful scene. Nick followed, standing beside him, his eyes wide as he took in the sight of his new niece and nephew.
"They’re so tiny." Chris whispered, his voice cracking as he looked over at Matt, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Oh, my God, Matt... they’re so small."
Nick nodded, his usual bravado momentarily stripping away as he gazed at the twins.
"Yeah." He added, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "How is this possible?"
Matt felt a lump form in his throat, seeing the raw emotion on his brothers’ faces. He watched as Chris finally let out a shaky breath and reached down, his fingers gently brushing against his niece’s tiny hand. The touch seemed to undo him completely, and within seconds, tears spilled over, streaming down his cheeks.
"Chris." Matt said softly, his voice full of understanding as he placed a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder. "It’s okay, man."
But Chris couldn’t find the words to respond. Instead, he just nodded, tears continuing to fall as he stood there, overwhelmed by the sight of his niece and nephew. He had always been the emotional one, the heart-on-his-sleeve brother, and in this moment, he felt everything with an intensity that was impossible to contain.
Nick, on the other hand, was struggling to maintain his composure. He swallowed hard, his jaw clenched as he fought back the tears that threatened to spill over. He wanted to be strong, to keep it together, but seeing Chris break down and knowing just how much this moment meant, even he couldn’t hold back completely. He let out a shaky breath, wiping his eyes quickly.
Matt noticed Nick’s struggle and gave him a reassuring smile.
"It’s okay to cry, you know." He said quietly, his own eyes misting over. "They’re your niece and nephew. This is a big moment."
Nick managed a small, watery laugh, shaking his head.
"Yeah, yeah." He muttered, his voice thick with emotion.
Matt grinned, pulling both of his brothers into a tight hug. The three of them stood there for a moment, embracing each other, their silent bond stronger than ever before. When they finally pulled away, Chris wiped at his eyes, sniffling a little as he turned back to the twins.
"Can we hold them?" Chris asked, his voice still shaky but filled with awe.
"Of course." Matt replied, his heart warming at the thought of his brothers meeting their niece and nephew properly. He carefully lifted his son from the bassinet, gently cradling the tiny bundle before handing him to Chris. "This is your nephew." He said, watching as Chris took the baby with the utmost care, as if he were the most delicate thing in the world.
Chris’s breath hitched as he looked down at the baby in his arms.
"Hey, little guy." He whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I’m your Uncle Chris. You’re going to be so loved, I promise."
Nick took his niece from Matt, holding her close, his eyes wide with wonder as he gazed at her tiny features.
"Hi, princess." He murmured, his voice soft. "I’m your Uncle Nick. And don’t worry, I’ll always have your back. You’re in good hands."
He cleared his throat, blinking rapidly, but when the little girl's tiny hand grasped his finger, Nick’s composure slipped. He bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears, but a few escaped, trailing down his cheeks.
"They're perfect... You and Y/N did good, Matt."
Matt felt his own eyes sting with tears as he watched his brothers, their love for his children evident in every trembling breath, every tear they tried to hold back.
"They really are." He whispered, his voice filled with pride as he watched his brothers bond with their niece and nephew.
The soft rustling of sheets drew Matt’s attention back to the bed, and he saw Y/N slowly stirring, her eyes fluttering open. She looked groggy, her movements sluggish as she tried to orient herself.
"Matt?" She called out, her voice hoarse and weak, a faint frown creasing her brow as she tried to sit up.
Matt was by her side in an instant, his hand gently brushing her hair back.
"I'm here, baby." He said softly, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. "The babies are right here, and Nick and Chris are with us."
Y/N’s gaze shifted to where Nick and Chris stood, each cradling a baby in their arms. Her eyes softened, a sleepy smile tugging at her lips as she saw them.
"Hey, guys." She murmured, her voice raspy but filled with warmth.
"Hey, Y/N." Chris replied, his voice thick with emotion as he carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, still holding the baby boy close to his chest. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I’ve been hit by a truck." Y/N joked weakly, managing a small laugh despite her exhaustion. She reached out for Matt, her eyes pleading for his help. "Can you help me sit up? I want to hold them."
"Of course." Matt said, his voice tender as he gently supported her back, helping her sit up against the pillows. He adjusted the bed to make her more comfortable, his movements careful and precise, always mindful of her comfort.
Once she was settled, Y/N looked at her babies, a rush of love flooding her system. Chris carefully handed her their son, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he watched Y/N cradle the tiny bundle in her arms. The baby boy squirmed slightly, his little face scrunching up as he nestled into Y/N’s embrace, and Y/N felt her heart melt at the sight.
"Hi, sweet boy." Y/N whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks as she pressed a soft kiss to her son's forehead. "Mommy’s here."
Nick, still holding their daughter, hesitated for a moment before offering her to Matt, a silent question in his eyes. Matt nodded, and Nick carefully placed the baby girl into his brother’s arms. The little girl yawned, her tiny fist curling up near her face, and Matt felt his heart swell with a fierce, protective love as he looked down at his daughter.
"She's got your eyes." Nick teased softly, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.
"And her nose." Chris added, his voice still wavering with emotion.
Y/N smiled, looking at Matt, who was gazing down at their daughter with such love and awe that it made her heart ache in the best way. She could see the tears in his eyes, the overwhelming emotion that he was trying so hard to keep in check, and it made her love him even more.
"It's like I've waited my whole life for this moment."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
"Ready?" Matt asked, his voice soft as he looked over at Y/N, his heart pounding in his chest.
Y/N nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she gazed back at him.
"Ready." She whispered, her voice steady, filled with a quiet determination.
They walked up the path of their house together, Matt balancing his baby boy in one arm while Y/N held onto his other arm. The front door, painted in a cheerful shade of brown, seemed to welcome them home as they stepped inside. The familiar scent of home - fresh linen, a hint of lavender, and the comforting smell of wood - washed over them as they crossed the threshold.
Matt paused in the entryway, taking a deep breath as he looked around. Everything was exactly as they had left it, but now it felt different, infused with the anticipation of this new chapter.
"Welcome home, little lovies." Y/N whispered, leaning down and brushing her lips against her daughter’s small head covered by her light pink beanie.
Matt led the way, his steps slow and deliberate as he carried their son into the living room. He paused in the center of the room, turning in a slow circle as he looked around.
"Look, little guy, this is where we'll spend most of our time together." He said softly, his voice taking on a warm, inviting tone as if he were talking directly to the babies. "Right here, in this room. We'll have family movie nights, and you’ll play with your many toys on the rug... and when you’re a little bigger, we’ll build forts with blankets and cushions."
Y/N followed him, her heart swelling with love as she listened to him talk. She could see it all so clearly in her mind; tiny feet pattering across the hardwood floor, peals of laughter filling the air as they chased each other around the coffee table, and sleepy cuddles on the couch after a long day of playing. It was the life they had dreamed of, and now it was finally real.
"And this." Matt continued softly, leading Y/N out of the living room and down the hallway to the master bedroom. "Is Mama and Dada's room."
He pushed the white door open, revealing the room they had shared for a year now - after they moved in to their own shared house -, now feeling so much more significant with the addition of their new roles as parents. The bed was neatly made, the pillows fluffed and arranged just the way Y/N liked them, and the soft curtains billowed slightly in the breeze from the open window.
"This is where you’ll come when you need comfort." Matt said, his voice thick with emotion as he looked down at their son, still cradled in his arms. "Where you'll crawl into bed with us on stormy nights, or just because you want to be close. And we'll always be here, waiting to hold you, to keep you safe."
Y/N’s eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Matt, her heart overflowing with love for him, for their children, for the life they were building together.
"They’re so lucky to have you as their dad." She whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. "And I’m so lucky to have you as my partner in this."
Matt’s gaze softened as he looked at her, his eyes filled with the depth of his love.
"I'm the lucky one." He murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her lips. "I get to spend my life with you and our beautiful babies. I don’t think I could ever ask for more."
Leaving the bedroom, Matt led them to the one right by the side, stopping in front of a door that had been carefully painted in soft pastels. He pushed it open gently, revealing the nursery inside. The room was bathed in the warm, golden light of the afternoon sun, and the soft colors of the walls and furniture created a peaceful, serene atmosphere.
"Now, this is your room." Matt said softly, his voice full of pride and love as he stepped inside.
He carefully set the bag that was held by his free arm down on the plush rug in the center of the room, turning to Y/N as she entered behind him.
"We've spent so much time getting it ready for you." Y/N muttered, her eyes shining as she looked around the room.
"That's right. This is where you'll sleep, where you'll have sweet dreams and where we'll sing you lullabies every night. Also, where your mama is going to read all those cute little stories every day."
Y/N carefully placed their daughter in the crib, brushing her fingers over the soft white blankets they had chosen with so much care. She looked around the room, her heart swelling with a deep, almost overwhelming sense of love.
"It’s so beautiful." She whispered, her voice catching in her throat as she looked up at Matt, her eyes lowering to her baby boy still on his arms, his big blue eyes now appearing smaller with the heaviness of sleep that dominated them. "They’re going to be so happy here."
Matt’s hand found hers, their fingers intertwining as they stood together, looking down at their tiny daughter, who was already drifting off to sleep in the crib.
"We all are."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
I also wrote it while listening to a really beautiful brazilian song about pregnancy. I'm gonna let it right below so yall can listen to it and see the translation through Spotify! 🩷
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taglist:
@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @earth2starkey @freshloveforthefit @sturniolowhore @luvr4miya @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @hearts4chriss @cupidzsq @junnniiieee07 @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @soimightlikeoldmen69 @ldr-sl0t @its-jennarose @sainzzsturns @soso-scarlettolivia @bitchydragonparadise @freshsturns @h3arts4harry @patscorner @strnilolo @bernardsbendystraws @poetatorturadaa @meg-sturniolo @orangeypepsi @jnkvivi @chrisactualwife @fratbrochrisgf @elordilover @somegirlfromasgard @hpyjw @colorthecosmos444 @thewhispersofthewaves @mattslolita @imwetforyourmom @mrl217 @sturnsmia @mattsfavbitchhh @sturnioloshacker @soursturniolo @blahbel668 @sarosfilms @moncherriis @tobesolonelyjess @zainabthescientist @littlemisswhore
(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)
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miley1442111 · 5 months ago
Text
insecurity- a.hotchner
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summary: aaron starts to overthink and doesn't realise how it's impacting the relaitionship.
pairing: aaron hotchner x fiancé! reader
warnings: angst, fluff, aaron is super insecure about his body, reader is upset with him, suggestive mentions, fade to black smut, kissing, aaron ignores reader and is kind of a dickhead, cursing, angsty for a moment (I think that's it?)
not entirely proofread
---------------------------
“Not good enough.” 
The sentence rang out in his mind as he knocked on your apartment door. 
“She’s too young for you, she’ll get bored.”
“Hi handsome,” your bright eyes met his, your perfect figure clad in a t-shirt and jeans, your hair done how he loved, and he smiled. 
“Hi beautiful,” he smiled. Adjectives became names with him. You smiled. “Ready to go?”
“All packed and ready,” you smiled. 
You were moving in. And Aaron was shitting it. 
“How could she ever find you attractive?” “She’s too young for you.” “Jack will hate you when she leaves you.”
He’d been a careful and logistical man his entire life, and all of that, all the walls and things he’d put in place to protect himself had disintegrated when you confessed to him and asked him out. 
---------------------------
“Hey boss,” you smiled, knocking on his open door. “Can I talk to you?”
He’d smiled and nodded. It was 9pm, much later than you usually stayed ‘til. It had been months of fleeting glances, scorching touches, and mixed signals. Tonight was the night you’d change that. 
“Of course,” he’d offered you a seat and you smiled up at him. He thought you were gorgeous, even after the excessive amount of running you’d all had to do (since the unsub almost got away), and the long three days of no sleep. 
“Can I say something? And if it’s weird, or wrong, or if it makes you uncomfortable please just tell me to shut up and-”
“I’d never tell you to shut up,” Aaron chuckled, god much he liked you was getting pathetic. 
You smiled. “I’d like to go out with you, like on a date,” You swallowed nervously. “Would that be something you’d be interested in?”
Aaron’s entire throat went dry and a million thoughts ran through his head, every single one of them about you.
“She’s joking, there’s no way she’d ever-”
“I’d be very interested,” his lips moved before his brain could even comprehend what he was saying. Every wall, everything that he’d put up to protect himself, it all crumbled to the ground in an instant. You had a knack for making him feel completely raw, completely at your mercy, and he hated to love it.
You smiled. Your beautiful, indescribable smile. “Good,” you were trying to not smile so hard, but it was proving difficult when he was sitting there so prettily, so Aaron. “How about Thursday, since Fridays are you and Jack time? I know this great tapas bar?”
You even knew Fridays didn’t work since they were ‘Jack and Dad night’. Could you be more perfect? “That sounds great.” 
You’d left his office with a smile on your face. He watched you leave and realised he was fucked.
---------------------------
“Earth to Aaron?” You waved a hand in front of his face. “You alright?”
“I’m alright,” he chuckled. “Don’t worry.”
“Dad’s a crazy old man!” Jack giggled. You both laughed along, but Aaron couldn’t help but feel the sting. He knew it was a joke, he knew this was all irrational, but it still hurt all the same.  
“Jack!’ you scolded playfully. “He’s only 48.”
Jack rolled his eyes and laughed, then got in the car. 
“You’re not crazy to me,” you pressed a quick kiss to his lips and smiled.  “Promise.”
He smiled back, but he was still riddled with anxiety, and he was scared. Aaron hadn’t been scared since Floyd. He was scared because he knew the power you had over him, and he knew you didn’t even know the magnitude of that power. You were his guiding star, his everything. 
“I love you,” He beamed, despite the inner monologue that was tormenting him.
You softened. “I love you too. Ready to go?”
“All ready,” he smiled. 
---------------------------
The first week, you could tell something was up with Aaron. He was quieter, less physical, and seemingly, work was more interesting than you.
You frowned every time he came home late and left for work early, just wanting a moment or two alone with your fiancé. When you met him at work, it wasn’t much different which, granted, wasn’t unusual. He was averse to pda, especially in the workplace, and  he didn’t much like sharing his personal life with the team unless it was completely necessary. 
But it was getting strange when even on cases where you’d be sharing a hotel room, he’d choose not to have sex, citing that he was too tired.
Now, your sex life was great, he was great. You hadn't gone more than a week without having sex since the first time you did it, which was a month into your relationship. Had you done something to annoy him? You weren’t sure. 
--------------------------
Living with you was a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, you were always there. On the other hand, you were always there. He dug himself deeper, hating the scars on his body and the way his hair greyed at the roots. He hated the extra fat he’d put on, and decided to work himself harder in the gym. He hadn’t gone in a while, choosing to spend his time with you instead. Why did he feel like this? Aaron Hotchener had always been a smart, logical, confident man. Now? He was scared to be shirtless in front of his own fiancé. It’s not like he didn’t think he was handsome, he knew he was good-looking. Maybe not as good as he did in his prime, but still good-looking. It’s just that you were so… young and so beautiful. You two were so opposites, he was 48 and you were practically fresh out of the academy in his eyes (You were not fresh out of the academy, you’d been working with him for years). When you two went out, people hit on you, and you had to point to him and say that he was your boyfriend. The way the guys looked at him, the younger, more attractive guys, made him feel small. 
Aaron Hotchner did not like feeling small, so he decided to make a change. No sex (unless initiated by you) until he felt confident again. 
When would that be, you may ask? He had no clue. 
---------------------------
Ok, three weeks with no sex and you were even more worried. But, at least you two had the weekend off since work was quiet and Jack was off to Jessica’s to be with his cousins.
You walked into his office to see him sweaty and clearly more tired than usual. Aaron had been coming home later, not at all interested in wedding planning, and just not mentally in the room with you or Jack in recent weeks. It was worrying you to say the least. Were you losing him? Was he cheating? 
“Hey boss, here’s the reports from me, Jj, Spencer, and Derek,” You handed him the reports from the last cases, and he barely looked up at you. You felt something other than hurt and confusion started to bubble, anger. Why the fuck was he treating you like this? You’d done nothing that you were aware of and anyways, he had no right to not talk to you if he was upset. He’s a grown man, he can talk about his fucking feelings. 
You walked out without another word, deciding that it was time to be angry, not worried. 
---------------------------
You got home later than usual, deciding to head out to dinner with Penelope after work, and when you got inside you found Aaron on the couch, waiting up for you. 
“Where were you?” He asked through gritted teeth. Oh, now he wanted to talk. 
“Out,” your answer was short, and ambiguous enough to warrant other questions. 
“Where?” he asked again. 
“Bar.”
“Y/n,” his voice was low.  
“With Penelope.”
He sighed and got up, walking over to you. “Why aren’t you talking to me?”
The look of annoyance on your face made him stop in his tracks. 
“Why am I not talking to you?! You’ve been ignoring me for 3 fucking weeks Aaron!” you shot back. “You come home late, you’re never here when you are here, you ignore me at work, you ignore me at home, I’m the one hanging out with Jack on the weekends, not you and we haven’t so much as kissed in three weeks. If you want me to move back out i-if this is too much for you, I can do that, I don’t mind. I’m just so sick of being treated like I don’t exist, like I’m not your fucking fiancé,” your voice got smaller as you went on, realising just how frustrated you were getting with it all. “It’s not fair Aaron.”
Aaron could feel his heart breaking, while his insecurities swallowed him up, he forgot about how it would make you feel and how it would impact your relationship. “Honey I’m-”
“I love you Aaron. I love you so much, and for a while I thought I did something wrong, like really really wrong. Like maybe I overstepped with Jack, or maybe I upset you somehow. And if I’m right, please just tell me. These last few weeks have been torture trying to figure out why you’re mad,” you begged, small tears cascading down your cheeks as emotion overcame you. 
Aaron hadn’t remembered how good it felt to be told he was loved by you. Obviously you said it everyday, but it sometimes becomes ‘just a thing someone says’. But not with you. You said it with your full chest, only to people who meant something. Aaron meant something to you. He realised how he should have remembered that. He should have remembered that you had loved him despite how he looked and acted, that you stood by him during Foyet, not because you were in love with him (not yet anyway) but because you loved him (even if it was just as a friend then). You were the most loving person he’d ever met, and he felt ashamed that he;d ever let his insecurities blind him to the beautiful reality he was living. He was going to marry you. He was living with you. 
What was he thinking?
“I’m so sorry Honey,” he pleaded. “I was worried.”
You stood there dumbfounded. “Worried about what?” You spat. 
“I worried… that I was too old for you… that you’d look at me and think that you’re without,” he admitted. “Jack thinks I’m old, I thought it was only a matter of time before you came to the same conclusion. I’m not as young as you, and I don’t measure up in… well in looks. You’re fucking beautiful and stunning and beside you I’m just… me. Scars and all.” 
You sighed and took his hand. “You’re 48 Aaron, not 77. Alright? Better yet, you’re a hot 48 year old. But you know what’s better than that? You love me. You’re sweet to me, and you treat me well. I feel the love from you everyday. That’s what I give a shit about, that we love each other. Is that not what you care about?” you asked, a hint of insecurity in your voice. 
“Of course I care about that,” he nodded, glad you were letting him touch you. “I was just…”
“Getting your own head about things?” you finished for him and he nodded. “I understand. But in future please just come to me, yeah?”
“I’m sorry I made you cry,” he added, softly cupping your cheek and drying your wet eyes.  “I’m so sorry.”
You cracked a smile, chuckling lightly as you cupped his cheeks. “It’s ok.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s not.”
You chuckled as you pulled him in to kiss you. “It’s alright,” you whispered against his lips. You quickly pulled away realising you had another question to ask. “You’re not cheating on me, right? Like, why have you been coming home so late?”
He chuckled and smiled at you. “No, you’re enough for me to handle.”
“So what have you been doing,” you asked. 
He looked down in embarrassment. “It’s stupid.”
“I want to know,” you pushed, a smile on your face. 
“I’ve been going to the gym,” he admitted, his cheeks heating up. “Don’t laugh.”
You stared at him in shock, then playfully hit him on the chest. “You bitch! We could’ve been going together!” 
He laughed, then pressed his lips to yours again. “We will.” 
“Y’know what else I’ve missed?” you smirked as he pulled your waist into his. 
“What?” he pressed a kiss to your neck. 
“Sex.”
He smirked. “Well, I do have a lot of making up to do, don’t I?”
You nodded, pulling towards the stairs. “Yes you do.”
As you two made it to the top of the stairs, he pressed his lips to yours again. “I love you.”
“Shut up and fuck me Aaron.”
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criminal minds masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games :)
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laligraves · 6 months ago
Text
a wedding in june
cult leader!joel miller x virgin fem!reader
[18+] | wc: ~3.2k summary: You run from Joel on your wedding day. masterlist | AO3
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warnings: HBO Joel, TLOU AU, dubious consent (i'm so serious don't read if it makes you uncomfortable), some proofreading, post-outbreak, commune/cult vibes, arranged marriage, mentions of infected/gore/violence, no use of y/n or too many details on reader's appearance, some face slapping, loss of virginity (and some pain associated to that but only a few sentences), outdoors sex, oral (f! receiving), squirting, unprotected sex, creampie
a/n: i promise i have other ideas rattling in my brain besides dubious consent 😭 i have a whole wip chart with tons of ideas that i hope i can write
You run faster at the sound of shouts behind you. Sweat drips down your temples and fear makes your heart beat erratically, but you don’t dare stop. 
The outer gates are only a few more hundred feet away. All you need to do is get past the trees and you’ll be able to escape. You don’t have time to think about how this will be your first time venturing outside of the commune. 
Everything you were taught about the outside, about the orphaned souls and monsters that lurk, none of that matters. Not when you’re more terrified at what your future will bring.
Joel Miller. The man who in just a few months, cleared away the hundreds of infected in the nearby valley. Joel, who in the commune’s monthly hunting trips, manages to find everything from venison to medication. 
The times you’ve been close enough to Joel, to feel the heat emanating off his body, you can almost taste the violence that simmers beneath his skin. Instead of it scaring you, like it would any sane person, it excites you. 
The longing in his gaze whenever he looks at you makes you dizzy. There’s a pulse of heat between your thighs each and every time, one that will only go away after you ride your pillow until exhaustion. Whenever you face him again, after you’ve dreamed of him taking you, you wonder if he knows what you do in the privacy of your room. 
There’s no denying that he’s saved this commune from the brink of starvation. Of course everyone, including you, is grateful for the kindness of a stranger. But in the months he’s been here, their gratitude has turned into pure devotion. 
Your parents practically pushed you into his arms the moment Joel asked about you. Normally quite level headed, your parents have begun to treat Joel like a God. You thought Joel would find their insistence of marriage off putting, that he would be an honorable man and let you choose your own path in this place.  
You were wrong. 
Your parents saw it as an honor that out of all the women in the commune, Joel chose you. The books and pretty dresses he finds on his trips are only a sign of how devoted a husband he will be, at least that’s what your mother tried to tell you.  
And the times you tried to speak to Joel and get him to rethink this marriage? Don’t worry about it, pretty girl, was all he would say before he’d send you off. 
You can imagine him in your bed and fantasize about him in your dreams, but to be his wife? Especially now that he’s been chosen to lead the commune—you want nothing to do with that. 
A denser path to your right has you changing directions, wishing to throw them off your trail. You can still make it if you run through here. 
Except it’s too late. Strong arms grab and push you into the lush grass. 
“No,” you scream, “let me go!” 
“What’s wrong with you,” Joel snaps, “don’t you know what’s out there?” 
“I don’t care,” you scream out childishly, “I’d rather be out there than be with you!” 
He climbs on top of you, grabbing your wrists in one hand and pressing them above your head into the grass. He leans on your thighs to keep you still and grabs your chin with the other hand. 
“Listen to me,” he insists, “you don’t know what you’re sayin’. You know nothin’ of what life is like outside these walls.” 
He digs his fingers into your cheeks and shakes your head slightly since you refuse to look at him. 
“Joel, did you find her?” your father calls out from a distance. 
“Yeah, I got ‘er.” 
“Great, let’s go back and finish the celebration–” 
“No,” Joel calls out. 
“Joel–” 
“Leave,” Joel interrupts. 
He continues sitting on you, putting most of his weight on your trembling body. The white dress you're wearing, a satin piece that he found on their last hunting trip into the town, rides up dangerously close to your panties. 
“I need to teach you a lesson in respect, wife,” Joel growls. 
He stands and just when you think you can escape again, he yanks you up with him. Joel holds your arm tight with one hand while taking off his belt with the other. He spins you around and brings your wrists behind your back, using the belt to bind them together. 
“You wanna see what’s out there? Since you think you’re so tough?” Joel asks, not waiting for an answer and instead dragging you to the gate. “I do everything to make this place safe for you, darlin’. But this is how you repay me? Runnin’ off at the first chance you get?” 
You’re surprised at his words and the sincerity of his voice. He sounds almost… sad. 
“Practically beggin’ to be out there with those fuckers instead of me?” he continues, “The only man who can truly protect you?” 
You reach the gate and your heartbeat picks up again. You’ve never been out this far. In fact, you’re acres away from the actual commune. While the gates are secure and regularly enforced, you can’t help but feel truly terrified that something will grab you just outside these barriers.  
“I’m sorry, Joel–” 
He stops, spinning you around and landing a hard slap, slap, slap on your ass. 
“You address me as sir.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” you cry out, “I learned my lesson. Let’s–let’s go back.” 
Joel ignores you, choosing instead to march you right to the gate. He keeps one hand on your arm and uses the other to maneuver the many locks and wires on the barrier door until it finally opens. 
“No, please! I said I was sorry! I wasn’t thinking!” 
He drags you out and for the first time in your life, you’ve left the commune. Despite only a metal gate separating both sides, this area seems devoid of life. 
He walks and walks until you wonder if you’ll pass out from the panic. You fall to your knees and Joel crouches right in front of you. 
“Your daddy ever tell you about the infected?” Joel whispers, tilting your chin up with his index finger. “How they’ll bite and rip into any part of your flesh.” 
“No, please,” you whimper. 
He drags a finger down your neck and over your exposed collarbones, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Your nipples tighten as he glides his finger over one breast and then the other. 
“Once they’re done with you, if there’s anything left, then you become just as mindless and violent as them. Forever lost–” 
“Sir–” 
His hand tightens around your neck, cutting off your words. 
“It’s not just one, babydoll. They like to travel in hordes. Makes it easier to find their victims.” 
Your air supply thins and blood rushes to your ears. You squeeze your thighs unconsciously as the pulsing between them only grows. Joel ghosts his lips over yours and your eyes flutter closed without thinking. 
“But it’s not just them,” he whispers over your lips, “there’s non-infected out there. People who won’t think twice about hurtin’ a pretty girl like you. Killin’ ya’ just for fun.” 
You’re not sure who kisses who first. It’s not the chaste kiss the two of you shared at the altar. It’s rough and has you pressing your body close to his so you can take every swipe of his tongue or bite from his teeth. He continues holding your neck, lightly squeezing so you have no other choice than to gasp for air. 
You fall back at the push of his hand on your chest. He flips you on your side to untie his belt from your wrists. You attack the moment your hands are free, sliding your hands through his salt and pepper hair and tugging him down.
Joel hisses but returns each of your kisses and bites with his own. You hear the squawk of a crow from above and you're immediately reminded of where you are. 
“Wait, sir,” you gasp, “not here. Take me back to your–our house–” 
He drags his teeth down your neck, rubbing his beard into your soft skin and biting down. 
“Thought you’d rather be out here than with me?” he says, repeating your words from earlier.  
“No,” you whimper, trying to push him off, “not here. I–” 
He reaches your chest and sucks your nipple into his mouth right over your dress. Your words are cut off and you're arching your back, trying to push more into his mouth. 
Joel makes room between your thighs and grinds down as you twist his wavy strands of hair between your fingers. His hard bulge rubs over your pussy and your whimper at the roughness.
He pinches your other nipple between two fingers then leans back to tug down the straps of your dress. Warm, summer wind glides over your now naked breasts and you shiver. 
“Look at these pretty tits,” he groans, “all mine.” 
Joel yanks the skirt of the dress over your tummy and runs a finger up and down your panty-covered pussy. You shamelessly grind down on his hand and cry out the moment he lands a harsh slap. 
“Please,” you beg with what's left of your sanity, “take me home.” 
With the same technique as before, Joel holds both wrists in one hand and uses the other to rip your panties off. You try to close your thighs from the sting of the elastic, but he’s quick to stop you. 
“Christ,” he whispers, “now ain’t that a beauty.” 
With two fingers, Joel swipes through your slick folds and brings them up to his mouth.   
“Mmm, sweet girl. Needa taste of this pussy.” 
“What do you mean—“
You try to remind Joel of just where the two of you are, but he fits his broad shoulders between your thighs and fuses his mouth to your pussy. 
You’re surprised, stunned silent by the heat of his mouth on your most intimate parts. You’re by no means ignorant of what a husband does to his wife—you’ve read enough of the romance books your mother keeps hidden in her bedside table and heard enough stories from your friends to have an idea of what happens on a wedding night. 
But never did you imagine it would feel like this. His beard and mustache only heighten the sensitivity between your thighs. The setting sun and the dense forest that surrounds the two of you should add to your terror, but Joel manages to put your attention elsewhere. 
His tongue lashes repeatedly over your clit and down to tease your entrance. You throw your head back onto the grass and stare through blurred vision at the purple sky, uncaring of where you are and of what creeps in the dark. 
He’s greedy, eating away at you like you're the last meal he’ll ever have. You’re slick and sticky, painting his face with your juices, making it easy for him to push a thick finger into your entrance. 
The stretch burns, but he calms you with a swipe of his tongue on your clit and the vibrations of his moans on your skin. 
“Your parents were right, you are a virgin,” he groans, pushing on the little piece of thin flesh that separates the rest of you. “Gonna be a tight fit, baby.”
You have no time to think about when your parents had that conversation with him. Instead, you're dumbfounded at the size of his fingers. You whine, unsure of what exactly you're asking, but nonetheless chanting more, more, more into the air. 
Joel manages to slide a second finger, curving them and pressing on something bumpy that makes you twitch and see black dots in your vision.
He stretches and scissors his fingers in your tightness, opening you up more and sucking your swollen button between his lips. Just when the heat is about to consume every inch of your body, he stops. 
“No,” you whine, trying to yank his head back to your thighs. 
Joel dodges your hands and laughs at the desperation written all over your face. He leans down, pressing his wet face to yours in a sloppy kiss, forcing you to suck on his tongue. Riding your pillow doesn’t compare to this.  
Just as before, Joel rips away and catches your wrist right when you reach for him. 
“If you woulda been a good girl, I woulda eaten this virgin pussy till mornin’,” he says while unbuttoning his jeans. “Made you ride my face and cum as many times as you wanted.” 
You barely understand how someone could ride a face, and yet you clench and gush around nothing, wanting his mouth or fingers back. You see the dark, curly hair at his base before he pulls out his length. 
“But for bein’ a brat, I’m gonna make you come on my cock instead.”
The tip is swollen and leaking a white-ish liquid that makes your mouth water at the sight. He lets go of your wrist and gently slaps your face. 
“Are you listenin’ to me, girl? I won’t fuck you if you ain’t payin’ attention.” 
“Y-yes, sir. I’m listening.” 
Joel laughs once again, noticing the dazed look in your eyes. 
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll make it fit.” 
There’s a craving inside of you, one that has you suddenly feeling so empty, that if he doesn’t fill you with his cock you think you’ll die. You repeat the word over and over in your head. 
You’ve read it more than enough times and heard it through hushed giggles from your friends, yet the way Joel says the word, the way he squeezes and twists his hand over his cock, you finally understand what the word truly means. 
Your fingers and the handle of your hairbrush were never able to give you what you so desperately seeked. You always stopped before you went in too deep, never able to take that final push inside.
He spreads open your thighs and you lean up on your elbows to try to catch a glance at what he’s doing. You see your sticky fluids stuck on your inner thighs and over the tip of his cock. He pushes in just an inch, and you gasp at the thickness. 
“Fuck, tight little thing,” Joel moans. “Need you to beg f’me, baby.” 
“Please, please, sir,” you answer quickly, “please, I–I want it!” 
He sinks in another inch, his face pinching in barely controlled restraint. 
“Say–fuck, say ‘I need your cock, sir’.”
The words are caught in your throat as you try to adjust to his size. Joel doesn’t like that you take too long to answer and slaps your cheek. 
“Answer me.” 
“I need your–your cock, sir,” you whine. 
“Again, fu–again,” he demands. 
You try your best to repeat his words, except he’s too far gone now. There’s a pinch, a rip of thin flesh and suddenly he’s sliding all the way in. You claw at his arms and at the grass to get away but he’s gripping your thighs, pressing deeper and whispering take it, pretty girl and you ain’t getting away from me.  
You feel full, so incredibly full. You’re split open, ripped apart just for him. 
“I know, baby. I know,” Joel coos, “it’ll hurt only for a minute.” 
His thumb rubs tiny circles on your clit and he leans over to press kisses on your eyelids and cheeks, licking away the tears that fall. 
The stretch burns, but his groans of pleasure and his gentle kisses have a warm glow spreading through your body. Joel notices the change in you and glances down to watch your hips move in small circles. 
“There we go, baby,” he moans, “knew you’d like it.”
He pulls out slowly, keeping eye contact with you and watching each pinch of your brow and flutter of your eyelids. 
“Saved this pretty cunt just f’me, yeah?” 
“Yes, sir,” you whisper, pushing away the sweaty curls from Joel’s forehead. 
He picks up the pace, curling his hand behind your knee and pushing it into your chest, arranging you like a doll. The pain now completely gone, you lay there, running hands over his arms and watching the sweat drip down his temples. 
Every slide of his cock kisses the very end of you. Your hips move and twist on their own accord and you have no choice but to cry out into the night sky. 
“Takin’ this–this big cock like a good girl, yeah?” Joel groans, watching his cock plunge in and out of your little hole. “Need you–fuck, need you to say you’re mine, baby.” 
“I–I’m yours, sir,” you whine, feeling a twinge in your core, “yours, yours, yours.” 
You dig your fingers in his neck and drag him down for a kiss. He grunts as you bite deep enough to draw blood. 
The thoughts from earlier, about running away from him, leave your mind. Even if it hurts a little, even if you aren’t prepared to be a wife, this is exactly what you need. And you won’t let anyone else have him.
“You gonna cum, girl? Gonna cum on your husband’s big cock?” 
This time he doesn’t stop you. His hand squeezes your neck and he traps you into the ground, pistoning his hips into your slick cunt. Your oxygen lessens and your cumming, numbness and white heat spreading throughout your body. 
“Just like that, baby,” Joel growls, “soak my cock.” 
You're gushing on him, painting the hair at his base with sticky juices. You tremble in his arms and claw at the hand that squeezes your neck. Joel doesn’t let up, fucking into your limp body, loving the way you mewl underneath him.  
He moves in short thrusts, stiffening and letting out an animalistic grunt into the night sky. He presses his head into your neck, sucking and biting into your soft skin while he spills his seed inside of you.
"Take my cum, baby. Take it, take it," Joel moans.
You clench around him, massage his cock with your inner muscles. Every drop of his cum belongs deep inside of you. 
With the little strength left in your body, you run your fingers through his hair. Joel's hands move to grip your thighs and he grinds down, spilling the last of his cum into your cunt.
"You belong to me," Joel whispers. "Don’t ever run again."
You lay there in the grass, breasts bare and pussy full of your husband's cock.
"I won’t," you promise. 
Joel leans back and slowly slips out. There’s a twinge of red mixed with his cum that he wipes up with your ripped panties. He lays down next to you and brings you in close so that your head is placed on his chest. You listen to his heartbeat and the sounds of crickets around you.
You think about the long way back to Joel's–well now your house too–and then you remember exactly where the two of you are.
"Sir, we're outside of the gates what if something or someone comes–we don't have any weapons–"
“There’s another gate a few miles out," he interrupts, "I installed it for extra protection around this place.” 
You drop your head on his chest from relief and exhaustion. Joel rubs a hand down your back and squeezes your arm. 
“I’d never put you in harm's way, pretty girl.”
-
general taglist: iloved1lfs0
ps: i know that there has been other cult leader!joel fics but in no way shape or form have i copied those works for this. if there is something major in my work that sounds similar to someone else's, it's purely by coincidence. i respect each person who takes time out of their day to write FREE content and the last thing i'd do is steal their storylines 🤍🤍🤍
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yanderenightmare · 6 months ago
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Gojo Satoru
TW: implied noncon, desperate starved reader, God!Gojo
gn reader
based on this by @hawnks
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He's worshipped, but worship alone doesn’t make those who pray by his shrine his belongings.
Even pets run away when they don't like the food.
He could take lives, which suppose some of his fellow gods might view as ownership, but right when he ran out of places to wash the blood off his hands, he’d sooner found it to be an empty pastime bearing no merit.
After all, taking lives doesn't mean they belong to you—it just means they’re dead. 
He'd come to realize that the power to take is a far cry from the prospect of actually owning something—something he can truly call his. He could level a forest and everything in it, crush mountains to deserts, drink the entire ocean dry—but it wouldn’t make any of it his.
It leaves him feeling stingy when yet another measly human comes before him—on your knees with your forehead bowed in the dirt, skinny hands shaking while laid flat out before you, cracked lips crying his name.
With his chin propped in his palm, he yawns while listening to you, and with jaded eyes, he nearly dismisses you altogether. But there’d been a question he’d been mulling over lately—one that had found its way to the tip of his tongue.
“What do I get in return?”
You’re only asking for very little—one of the humbler humans who still bother praying to him. You might see it as greedy of him to ask you for something in return—a poor soul with nothing but your sorry name. But what you don’t understand is that you and he are the exact same.
Dirt poor.
In many ways, he has it a lot worse. You could die. He could not. Infinity would pan on forever and drag him with it as if with a ball and chain—and he’d remain destitute and alone for the entirety of it all.
Which is why…
“You can have me, I guess…”
It sounded so sweet—like a vow.
You say it with such defeat, as though you’ve already accepted his rejection—as though you’re about to offer yourself to the forest next—as though you're worth nothing more than returning to soil again. 
You don’t notice the new light in his eyes that threatens to swallow you whole, nor do you hear the growl in his gut like a beast awoken from a deep slumber—starved to death if he only could. His tongue swells with sweetness, it nearly runs over and spills down his chin.
Your offer hangs still in the air, poised and waiting for him to grab it, brighter than a star. It nearly frightens him—how much he wants it—how desperately he yearns for it. His fingertips buzz with thrill as he reaches out. He’s never held something like it before—soft and warm and flickering with something fleeting and precious. It almost feels wrong for him to hold it in his blood-soaked hands. Eyes all but blacked out as he looks down at it.
“Mine, you say?” 
You feel it, too, but it’s not close to the same sense of elevation—how he reaches into your chest and scribbles his name on your soul. Each letter is heavier than the last and leaves you curling in on yourself in agony, screaming before you fall silent.
Panting once you look up, you clutch your chest, only to see his sneer gone, replaced by something worse—something haunting.
The regret is palpable. You pick yourself up and take to running away—but by then, it’s too late. You don’t make it more than two steps before something has you tugged right back—this time into his embrace.
“I accept your generous sacrifice, little human.”
His words weigh awfully heavy while you shudder in his lap. His skin is like marble—shimmery and cold as his hands wrap around you, holding you tightly as he puts his lips to your neck.
"I'll take precious care of you..."
You feared he’d bite, but the kisses that commence feel no less like a collar being fastened snug around your throat. As well as his promise—like being sentenced to spend eternity right there, hand-fed under that awful smile on his face.
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♡ GOJO SATORU masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist
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kyeomkuppie · 6 months ago
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Damn it!
Pairing: Seungcheol x gn!reader
Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, a little angsty
Synopsis: In which he cried in front of you for the first time.
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"Cheol?"
Your boyfriend always yelled out "I'm home!" Whenever he was back from work, but today you just heard the sound of the door being slammed shut.
You go outside of your shared bedroom to check on him, only to find him sitting alone in the corner of the living room, crouched down and knees to his chest. His head rested on both of his knees and he didn't make a single sound which automatically sent a signal to your brain. Something is wrong.
"Cheol? Why are you there love?" He raised his head at the sound of your voice. You rushed to him and crouched down to meet his eye level.
He shook his head and exhaled sharply "jus' feeling under the weather." he murmured.
Now this was strange, no matter how upset he was he always came to you for cuddles and kisses to sooth his worries, but now he was all alone in a corner.
"What happened baby?" You carress his hair gently waiting for an answer.
"I had an argument with the members and I..." He sighed "Things got too heated and I said things I didn't mean." You could see the pain all over his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were poutier and strangely enough, his eyes were glossy.
"I screwed up and I-"
"I won't allow you to finish that sentence. Yes, you may have made a mistake, everyone makes them," you grabbed his face with both of your hands, forcing him to look you in the eyes "But even if you've made a thousand, I'm sure they'd know you didn't mean it, okay?"
His eyes kept getting glossier and his vision was becoming more unclear. "You're not only a great leader Cheollie, you're a great friend and I'm sure they know that and— I know you're stressed and everything is too much at the moment but I'm here for you. Always."
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, bringing him closer to your chest. It was hard, really hard to try to hold it in especially when you warmly embraced him at a time he thought he was all alone.
"Don't you ever think of carrying your burdens alone again, hm?" Your eyes widenened as you felt hot tears staining your shirt.
It was the first time he has ever cried in front of you. Silence engulfed the room as you patted his back.
"Damn it!"
Hm? You didn't know why he was suddenly frustrated but all you wanted was to provide him the comfort you felt when you were with him every single moment.
"God this is so embarrassing." He sniffled "I didn't want to cry, especially in front of you."
"Let it all out love, it's never embarrassing to cry, hm?"
"God I love you too damn much." He hugged you even tighter, burying his head into the crook of your neck.
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Reblogs and comments are appreciated!
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nottsangel · 6 months ago
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art would beg to actually fuck you if you were using a fleshlight on him 😗
“fuck, that feels so good, oh my god.” art groans as you quickly move the transparent fleshlight up and down on his erection, the slick sounds along with his moans filling the room. and god, he looks so fucking pretty— his blonde locks sticking to his sweaty forehead and his cheeks bright red as he gazes down at you with half-lidded eyes that he can barely keep open. he wants to keep them open though, ‘cause the sight of your pretty tits bouncing up and down with each movement you make got him drooling.
but art needs more than just the fleshlight— he’s fighting the urge to cum right then and there ‘cause he needs to feel you. he needs to feel you around his cock and he wants to cum inside of you. “please, baby, please, I—“ he starts but lets out a loud moan halfway through his sentence as he bites his swollen lip when you tighten your grip around him. “hmm? what’s wrong baby?” you question with a faux curiosity and a raised eyebrow, knowing damn well he wants you to ride him until he fills you to the brim with his cum.
“i— fuck, i need you, baby. please?” he begs with knitted brows, trying his best to hold it longer— all he wants is to be good for you, he truly does. “ohhh, is that it?” you tease, your voice laced with a mock surprise. a knowing smile tugs at your lips as you eye him, and he desperately nods with pleading eyes. “you know what? how about… you hold it for ten minutes more, and i’ll give you what you want, hmm?” “i don’t— i don’t think i can—“ “yes, you can and you will, okay?” after a brief pause, art nods hesitantly, because let’s be real— both of you know there is no way he can hold it for even longer than just a minute. “that’s my good boy.”
ੈ♡˳
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