#god taz goes so hard

[natjennie]

GOD ISAAC'S JOURNAL ENTRY good lord it gives me chills every fucking time "nothing prepared me for that fucking cup" "i did it as quickly as I could as cowardly as I could I pushed him- over the edge of shaft b" "the cup I killed my very best friend for. in june's hands" "I deserve damnation for what I've done. refuge doesn't." "I figured out what that spell does. jack's last spell." "junebug"

DO YOU GET IT

[knightforflowers]

oh god, you’re gonna get it, you’ll be sorry that you messed with me

[barry-j-blupjeans]

TAZ 2023 Fic Recs

It is that time of year again! Unfortunately, I don't have as many as last year, mainly because work and Life have been a lot this year. But I am very, very glad to share the fics I have loved this year and I'm looking forward to any other recs!

A Candlenights Barold by @sgrumby - or honestly, all three of the Reaper Squad Candlenights fics! Based off that one liveshow where Merle became Santa Clause. Now it is the job of Barry, Lup, and Kravitz to deliver presents to children every Candlenights! This one is based off A Christmas Carol and is not only hilarious but also super in character.

The Best Version Possible by @thedaisiestdaisy - Taako's experience with past romances, his current one with Kravitz, as well as the aftermath of Story and Song. This is a beautiful, meaningful fic that hits me in the feels every time I read it. It's such a deep, refreshing dive into Taako's character.

a monster might begin to worry by @anistarrose - In short, a Barry-kills-Governer-Kalen AU. In long: Such a good fucking fic. Rose's character voices are top notch and she's so incredibly good at playing with emotions and building up scenes. It's a god-tier Magnus fic, with some fun Magnus-Kravitz interactions and some wonderful hurt/comfort.

Also by Rose and very worth reading:

fill up your lungs, feel better - Barry spies on the BOBs corporate excursion and realizes his family still cares, even if they don't truly know him.

to eat from a poisoned plate - Barry leaves notes in Taako's cookbook.

somewhere over the rainbow (bluebirds fly) - Maureen and Lucretia fall in love. Then, Maureen and Lucretia fall out of love.

midlife crises, laboratory niceties - Barry bulldozes his way into being on the Starblaster crew. Davenport is very concerned <3

colors of space and time - Taako and Lup's relationship with their hair.

Rode Hard And Put Away Wet by @holdmecloser-gandydancer - Band AU!! My beloved!! Lup, Johann, and Kravitz are in a band and it gets. Tough. To put it lightly. Whenever Lup discovers Kravitz and Taako are hooking up. This is a WONDERFUL and super funny fic, that also has it's moments of deep reflections and a lil angst! Plus, Blupjeans! We love that!

Astrology for Horse Jugglers by @noodyl-blasstal - Kravitz and Taako meet at a wedding. This goes badly for everyone except them. This fic is pure chaos and I adore it so, so much.

We Got Boned! - Another one by Noodyl! Barry and Lup write a book for payback, kinda. This one is such a fun, weird turn of events. I cannot describe my love for it.

Revenge Plus One by @ceilingfan5 - Kravitz is invited by his ex (Edward) to go on a cruise. A cruise that will host Edward's wedding. And, to add insult to injury, Edward (rightly) assumes that Kravitz will have no one to bring along. So Kravitz does the responsible adult thing: Invite the gorgeous man who sells bagels in the work cafeteria (Taako) on the cruise with him. There is fake dating! There is tension! There is romance! I love this fic so much, I want to eat it.

a lesson in boy math - Also by Larissa! Speed-dating, Taakitz style. Both Taako and Kravitz are the best shade of weird in this <3

fashion statement by @journalofimprobablethings - Taako takes Lup's robe when he finds her and the umbrella. Lucretia deals with that. This fic? Destroyed me. And I loved it. It's pretty full of angst but the good kind, y'know?? I'm in love.

That's all I got this year!! I hope you all enjoy these fics as much as I did! They're all incredible and I love seeing all the different ideas and takes everyone has :O

[montrosepretty]

Ranking taz pcs by how likely they are to vape. just to blow absolute mad cotton. coauthored by @melonkittii

Emerich: has the most insane hardlight doohickey gadget ass vape rig known to man which he cooked up in his lab

Merle: WOULD vape COPIOUS amounts. earns the nickname merle vapechurch {which it's not clever but it still sticks}

Aubrey: yes. uses the smoke in her shows and has strong opinions on her favorite flavors

Devo: vaping is like an essential part of his magic. he does it a lot but there's not as much joy in it {"guidance taught him how to talk, brother seldom taught him how to vape" - robin}

Montrose: dentonic canonically sells cigars in gutter city so it's not a stretch that they would sell vapes. if there was an ephemera branded vape {and there definitely is} montrose would have twenty of them

Argo: high dex means he can do cool vape tricks

Duck: started vaping after smoking because it's better for the forest + also he has asthma

Firbolg: the code is not explicitly anti vape so i think he would. but he's chill

Zoox: wouldn't seek it out, but there is a hole for that

Magnus: only vapes if offered {wants to seem cool} but he coughs like a bitch

Taako: everybody thinks he's the kind of guy to vape but he doesn't actually because he thinks he's too cool. wouldn't take the vape pen if offered

Ned: doesn't know what a vape is. mf smokes a pipe which he stole because he thinks it looks cool but he doesn't know how to do it right. there's not even tobacco in there he's just blowing into it

Beef: did an anti vape commercial for his public persona but he wasn't convinced by it until he got soft and now he has nightmares about dying of vape inhalation {he gets into fights about it with montrose and emerich}

Fitzroy: swore off vaping for fantasy DARE in like fifth grade but hits it at a party at wiggenstaff {festo's influence} and goes WAY too hard and dies. Snippers however is a vape god

Amber: pretty explicitly not a fan of drugs. but she would be good at it

[icarusfrommars]

God the TAZ Amnesty theme goes so fuckin hard. In fact, the whole Amnesty soundtrack is nothing but bangers. Griffin really put his whole McElrussy into it, huh?

[trainwreckgenerator]

Just watched your fucking TAZ Animatic again, and even after 6 years it still goes so incredibly hard. Like my god

HEEHEH THANK U its weirdly the thing ive been most recognized in public for??? im very very glad people still enjoy it :)

[wadofbees]

god the taz outre space opening song actually goes so tucking hard

[popculturebuffet]

Seeing how we've talked about Cartoon Network originals, may as well talk about the shows from Cartoon Network's sister studio, Warner Bros Animation. Favorite character from the first batch of the following Warner Bros Animation shows from before Kids WB and the initial lineup for Kids WB's first year: Tiny Toon Adventures, Taz-Mania, Batman the Animated Series, The Plucky Duck Show, Animaniacs 1993, The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries, Pinky and the Brain, and Freakazoid?

Super fuckin shooters let's go. Now we'll go ahead and elimiate taz-mania (haven't seen it) the plucky duck show (as I don't think i've seen it) and sylvester and tweety (Which I haven't seen enough of only small piec. Unlike with early disney though this nearly isn't as bad anyways...

Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster, great performance lots of fun with Plucky as a close second but simply not reaching the heights of his dad. The show itself is solid, 90's as heck in a good way, fun, and succesfully making it's own minty fresh new cast. A great start for WBA. Also I really dig the reboot.

BTAS: God this is a hard one as they had just so many great villians and an excellent batman (Also to be clear as I didn't realize this for years, the new batman adventures is isit's own show when we get there). It dosen't help i've been binging Serum Lake a lot, a youtuber who focuses mostly on BTAS (and lately caped crusader), with sprints into beyond and superman tas.

So this hard choice goes to... The Joker. I almost didn't as I prefe rother villians episodes.. but damn if hamill dosen't command every scene mr j is in. He is the joker for a reason.

The show itself.. is one i've talked about.. and one of the best animated shows period. I'ts a perfect adaptation taking everything that makes batman work and throwing out the decades of continuity crust that had built up. Watching those serum lake videos made me realize just HOW many villians were redefined by BTAS: Mr Freeze, Poision Ivy, Clayface, Mad Hatter, Two Face all villians who before this were just kinda forgotten but got a second chance thanks to BTAS. The show is a fucking masterpiece in episodic storytelling, making each episode a stand alone masterpiece with the occasoinal sequel or two parter to shake it up. While there were other great shows to come I feel only one directly competes and even it's probably not as good. We'll get there for now..

Animaniacs: Slappy. It will always be slappy. She had the best segments, was hilarious, and was sadly absent from the reboot for the most part. There's no one better

The show itself is fucking amazing though. While Slappy easily won the warners themselves are some of the best cartoons characters ever made, the bugs bunnies of the 90s (Sorry buster but they picked up the schitck better)

The segments all slapped; Pinky and the Brain was good enough to get it's own show, goodfellas like slappy deserved one but didn't get it, the hip hippos are underated, rita and runt break my heart, and buttons and mindy sucks hard and is the worst because Mindy's mom is the worst.

Pinky and the Brain. Pinky. NARF. Rob Paulsen always delivers as this moron. The show itself what i've seen is pretty good, a nice expansion of an already graet series of shorts. It's decent stuff if better as part of animaniacs.. though the series at least gave us pinky and the brain and larry.

Freakazoid: HEY JAKE WANNA NAME COSGROVE THE BEST CHARACTER. Oh boy would i? That gag alone gets him here. The show itself is one I need to revisit as it's simply not streaming for no good reason, but was funny, rapid fire and has one of my faviorite gags in anything, one that's stuck with me since I saw it at my grandpa's house as a kid.

[nomsfaultau]

(Not) Daily ask №32

I really don't think that I can keep up the 5 questions every single day thing. Procrastination gets the better of me : (

Isekai edition!

1. What is your favourite universe? Like a favourite show, game, book, etc.

2. What are your 3 favourite characters from that universe?

3 What is your favourite time period of the universe? Ex. Pogtopia arc for dsmp, an episode of a show, a scene from a book.

4. What is your favourite antagonist/villain from that universe?

5. BOOM fault crew gets into your favourite universe, in your favourite time period of the show, with your favourite characters finding them first and then they meet your favourite antagonist. How does that go?

There is completely no obligation to do anything ever, buddy. 

1.Really hard to look past the haze of Fault that’s been my brain for years. That said, I’ve been having an INSANELY good time with Taz vs Dracula recently. Essentially it’s a DND campaign where they go through a wacky gothic horror setting that’s very heavy on the comedy, all in the name of defeating Dracula. It incorporates a lot of free domain characters, so like Pinocchio, Mickey Mouse, King Arthur, the invisible man show up (or doesn’t, he’s a flakey POS). All with some crazy twist of course ofcours. Absolute blast. 

And no read more line because I’m proselytizing for this podcast now okay ok. 

2. Lady Godwin. She’s a posh old lady who got run over by Dracula and the Wolf Man (who is a bad influence on Dracula). She had a Frankenstein life policy but it got shut down due to bad business practice, and her head got stuck on a barbarian lady’s body. On top of that severe body dysphoria, Lady Godwin gets bitten by a were-horse and gets transported to the mental realm of Oats on occasion. She’s prim and huffy and goes into destructive rages. Perfect woman. 

Thumbs. Thumbs is a were-orangutan DJ for the Wolf Man’s nightclub, since he’s the only one with thumbs. There’s supposed to be a spell that allows everyone to communicate with one another, but he just speaks in monkey noises. Notably is banned from pushing the big red button on his DJ set up. BUt ooooooh man. Wants to. Deserves to. (this destroyed the were-house were-nightclub)

An. He’s an almost dead god of night with a dedicated cult and the Sword in the Stone jammed through his skull, pinning him in spot because evil cults don’t tend to have a lot of people pure of heart and rightful king of England material? Who knew. He’s so suave and has a major superiority complex and is so so so overtly evil but the DND party is just so chill about debating whether or not to free him. But An has searched all of the land to find the most Pure of Heart….and landed on Brother Phileaux, the monk currently sharing a Pinocchio body with THE Van Helsing. Who is an absolute little freak, mind, so I have absolutely zero idea why he’s trying to (in his own words) 4D chess manipulate Phileaux when he is pure by no one’s standards and also very dumb. It’s very hard to be a gaslight gatekeep girlbosser when dealing with stupid adventurers. Poor guy. He dies due to the redneck Mutt becoming the casual King of England, a reverse knock knock joke and the Toby Slayer*, and a cross that the interim-temporary Turbo Cardinal stole once. 

3. Episode 16 is my favorite part. Literally howling the entire time. Acquiring the Toby Slayer*, a legendary sword that obliterates anyone named Toby with. Yes this means they spend the rest of the campaign trying to name people Toby (nicknames, telling an amnesiac their name is Toby, shortening Turbo Cardinal to Toby (works because one of them is the king of England via authoritarian legends). They kill a god using the Toby slayer. This all happened because the DM tried to give last minute flavor text to a loot item. Casually water boarding the severed head of a Dracula clone while discussing if they could raise him to be the ‘good Dracula’. Meeting a crazy fish monster man with a basketball wife named Elizabeth, who is a druid that only turns into sports items. Taking a break from a revenge quest to play the sickest game of volleyball ever using said sports druid. Lady Godwin randomly biting a severed ear. The ENTIRE inventory situation of Phileaux, including teeth from a sea monster, said severed ear, and LITERALLY HIS OWN DEAD BODY SHRUNKEN DOWN INTO A LITTLE VILE. The offhand discussion about if Phileaux should make a flesh homunculous using spare Dracula clone parts. I think this TAZ episode made me laugh the most, though the Steeplechase campaign where they went on the trashiest dating show ever was so choice too. Schlebethany my beloved….

4. DRACULA. Oh my god he’s soooooooo fun. Might be my favorite villain ever. Absolute love to hate character, except he’s so funny and charismatic that it’s hard to hate him even though like terrible evil dude. But he’s also a complete dork, and cringes about his ‘wizard phase’ and opines about how everyone wants to kill him :( so rude. He had a toxic BFF relationship with the Wolf Man but had to cut him out for being a ‘bad influence’ (HE IS DRACULA THIS MAN IS THE WORST). He helps Mutt (protag) pull out his fangs to make earrings. All of his clones insist they’re ‘the good’ Dracula. Dracula had an unrequited romantic relationship with Dr. Frankenstein, and is now in a love triangle with him and another Dracula clone, who wants to kill OG Drac for breaking Frankenstein’s heart. He is a staunch supporter of the fine arts. So far I think he might be trying to mind control an entire town/end the world (?) via evil airpods because he can’t get one song out of his head from when he was a kid. And also so he doesn’t have to drink blood anymore because it’s yucky >.<

Like. Just listen to him:

“Dear diary.

How come everybody wants to kill Dracula?

I mean, the people whose villages I’ve razed to the ground, whose family trees I’ve so thoroughly pruned, them I understand. But how did my vulnerabilities become the topic of casual dinner table conversation? I don’t talk about the weaknesses of mortal men, and Lord knows I could. I may be biased, but it seems these days that haters are coming at me left, right, and center…(enter SICK MUSIC RIFF)

5.Tubbo will get obliterated. No help for it. The SECOND the DND party finds out their name, the Toby Slayer is going to come out. Thems the rules. Or they’d try, but the Fault crew would step in and then the DND party would be really chill and laid-back, brushing off the murder attempt while everyone else is freaking out. Tubbo would probably try to convince Phileaux to work more with Van Helsing on the semi system thing. Overall freaked out about how casual murder is here. Second, Wilbur is having a bad time due to the permanent eternal night upon the land. Oh well. Flashlights may or may not exist, since we have both horse-drawn carriages and Honda elontras show up? Good luck lmao. Phileaux could probably cast light on a pointed Pinocchio hat for him. But would be wayyy too interested in getting samples from the void. Tommy thinks it’s spooky as hell. Maybe Elizabeth could teach him the cantrip Shape Water, which would solve 99% of his problem if he can artificially control Red. Wait. And he can touch Brother Phileaux! That’s big for him, until Phileaux says something offputting and oh muffin that wasn’t a joke- The Blade is really vibing with Mutt, since, ranger. They’re also very blunt and straight forward characters. And he’d love Lady Agatha (dog). Probably Lady Godwin too for their similar rage modes, but the comments about curvaceousness would make him awkward. I really really really want Philza to party with the Wolf Man. But the auto killing any non were-person would be a damper on the relationship. And Philza isn’t at random haha murder philosophy atm, so would probably not hang even if he can pass. Ah wait forgot he’s super duper beheaded by this point of the series, moot point. He can definitely gel with Lady Godwin and Elizabeth about getting lost in the sauce re: body, be it the plane of horses, basketballs, or dragons. 

Now I could go on and on about how the existence of monsters casually in society both as threats and friends would drastically be eye opening for the Fault guys, etc etc, however they’re in the middle of a swamp at the moment. 

As for plot: The Blood God would be extremely hyped about the cult of the Buried Blood! …until he finds out it isn’t about him. Booo what kind of god gets half murdered? Loser. I figure the Fault crew would pick up An’s rank vibes way more than the DND party bothered to act on, the manipulation is pretty blatant. Tubbo is absolutely fuming about not being pure of heart, and that the random redneck did it through the power of rats. Tommy is desperate to become the king of England, and is infuriated because none of the DND guys know what England even is. 

Probably a lot less impressive to kill a god when you have like 3 on your team, but-

Everyone is down on the killing Dracula thing. Even Tubbo I think, given how evil he is. Would prefer a different method! But it’s looking like world ending stakes so maybe it’s okay. As for actually meeting the real OG Dracula? The campaign hasn’t gotten there, so I can’t even guess. But the fact both universes have potentially world ending songs is really funny. Based on vibes, Philza, Tommy, and The Blade think Dracula is absolutely great and kinda forget they’re there to kill him. Philza definitely sympathetic on the curse of immortality thing. Dracula doesn’t pass Wilbur’s vibe check at all, thinks he’s sleezy, and Tubbo can see way too much of the mind control stuff happening to brush it off. Like if they can manage to hate friendly Philza the charisma isn’t going to mean much. 

Probably ends up trying to suck Tommy’s blood, getting Red’d, and having the most balls to the walls insane fight scene ever. Man I can’t wait for the finale.

[ethersierra]

Steeplechase episode 1 thoughts- THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. These are like live posts but all in one okay?

WE GOT CONFIRMED FIRST NAME PC SPELLINGS :D

,, starting out with a non McElroy voice👀 Krystal with a k?

STEEPY WATCH. Like Disney video blogs oh my god ily

"Don't eat the flakes" we are getting some heavy social commentary here about corporations

Dentonic made a one of a kind enamel pin with gold ahaha who would do something like that 👁️

OH MY GOD THE INTRO SONG ❤️❤️❤️❤️ it reminds me of John Cena I'm sorry but it's so good. And we've got all these different elements going on with it oh my god I'm obsessed let me memorize it into my skull

Strong opener Justin mhm

I should have had "Griffin wreaks havoc out of game in his role as a player" and "Travis makes a sex joke" on the bingo card

The woman from the sky yesyeysyes

HER ACCENT I LOVE HER SO MUCH. She's my favorite already I I'm i

THE CHARACTER VOICES- beef's is so fun

Griffin started talking and I thought he was speaking as Montrose and I was about to say "dude that's JUST your voice" .. I am a wee bit foolish

WAIT THERES A LYNDON VOICE AND A BEEF VOICE <3

Montrose has an old timey rich guy voice (carnival barker) aND IT FITS SO WELL WITH WHAT HE DOES I SHOULD JAVE SEEN THIS COMING

Warm bodies? Is uhhh there a lot of cold ones?

GRAVEL<3

Does Montroses voice count as an accent because I think it should. It has a certain cadence to it . Also I want a bingo spot.

A big unveiliiiiiing 👀 they are dropping the pin in cereal. I uhh I missed that connector tbh I did not realize it was related. That's what I get for pausing so much lol

Do you think they're gonna eat the cereal to get to the pin

I love the ominous carnival music in the background

YAY DICE ARE OUT BABY. Mechanics baby

I want a carnitas tostada so bad right now. It's not related to the plot but idk the music reminds me of it

SHEETS?🥺🤞❤️

Of course Justin would combine his two loves of theme parks and cereal

Slipper, matchstick, and trashbag. I love you Justin for opening a random object generator and deciding that these are your NPCs.

Sorry but is that Minecraft sheep in the background right now?

"assault" "a pepper" shoulda put Travis makes a dumb joke on the bingo too

I like that the rule is once you start planning you're already there

I like that they're gonna undercut the other thieves akdnakndak

UESTACE!! AND WE GOT A SPELLING❤️ the bad news is that it's abysmal! I think it's supposed to be futuristic though. Gotta update the wiki.

Hold on. The hard light grandpa calls him papa and also does manual labor. They really are alive huh

I like that though. Very Pinocchio though in a kinda fucked up future way

Emerich wears a jumpsuit coverall 😌💪 win for character design. Also I love him he's the IT guy in an appliances guy kinda way

Also is steeplechase title the sleeping beauty font <3

CLINT ROLLED GOOD!!!!! REAL GOOD!

Oooh Montrose stealth by blending iiiiin I love this character. I think that these characters play well into the player strengths!!

Justin is doing so good by the way I knew he would be great as a GM !!!!<3

I need trav to crit fail this cereal roll so bad that beef takes damage

HAHAHAHA HE GOT TWO ONES ARE YOU KIDDING I HAVE THE FORESIGHT OF A GOD

CRIT AGAIN CRIT AGAIN

Awww. Good enough for me. This is fun

That was a sneaky move to get them away ayeheh

I don't quite get how the dice works

OH HE GOES MASKLESS. A PLAIN FACE. we did think that would be something but, (is now a good time to reference the dream thing...)

Oooh he actually got the guard to leave his post👀

Perception check😏 sorry sorry "survey"

TAKE TWO STRESS👀👀👁️👀👁️👀👁️ I like that mechanic a lot

I expect many more "he beefed it" jokes in the future

Finally. A TAZ campaign with vloggers.

I really like the dynamic here with Montrose and the people it's fun

Also Montrose is doing this whole STEALTH thing toooo a Livestream audience 💀 good job bud

This is gonna go HORRIBLY wrong.

YEAHHHH VACUUM TUBE

how.. how big is the tube...

Justin's Taako voice came out there for a second "okay they're distracted what are you gonna do now?"

Beef is so good at distracting

Montrose. How the hell do you think this will work. You have made no change then like turned on them WITH AUDIENCES OF LITERALLY EVERYONE - I mean idk how far away from them they were they probably didn't hear

Haha yeah roll for it baybeee

HEYYY THEY USED THE HARD LIGHT PEOPLE AS GHOSTS @phennoraptor CALLED ITTTTT

Montrose. C'mon. What is happening sir

HAKSHDLDBKkdh THEY BEAT THEM TO IT

I'm kinda glad they fucked that one up. It's for funsies. They just did it so goddamn bad that I don't know how they'll possibly fix it!

I'm going to start working on their designs this weekend so expect a drawing😌 overall love this ep and super excited for more!

[sithwitch13]

AEW Dynamite 9/25/24

Happy Grand Slam to us all

Someone on Twitter said it had been Adam Cole-proofed due to the lack of ramp

Also I got spoiled for at least one Collision match so Saturday should rule

OH MY GOD STARTING WTH NIGEL AND BRYAN I AM GONNA DIE

Please don't play with my emotions like this

YESSSSSSSSS

Nigel shit-talking Schiavone as Schiavone is like "this fuckin guy"

Holy shit?? Nigel???? On the turnbuckle???????

The "thank you" I'm crying

KIP YESSSSS

Lol Pac and Claudio like "you don't get ti do this" to Christian, I really do think they think they're doing this for Bryan's own good

Still crying. This is all hitting closer to home re: health and career than I'd thought it would.

I think I really unironically love the Undisputed Kingdom.

Can Samoa Joe and Shibata come back to hang out with Hook again? Or Danhausen? I think he works better with someone to work off of.

Aww hey, respect. No hard feelings over that call, I guess.

I figured they were retiring the FTW belt, there's not much going on with it storywise.

Oh god I JUST stopped crying and now Taz is emotional and there it goes again

YES MY FANCY GREMLINS VS HAPPY DOG BOYS

Please god don't make me cry during this match, I think I'm a little dehydrated now

HAIR PEARLS

69ing your brother, just normal Bucks things

Taz saying Kyle's hair is like baby's breath flowers, lol. Would have gone with dandelion fluff myself.

Aw dang it now I'm gonna picture Quentin from @seananmcguire 's October Daye series as Kyle Fletcher

THE PEARLS ARE GIVING THEM POWER

DON'T DO IT KYLE

YES

now United Empire destroy Don Callis

Awww Rocky is officially Glommed

Lol Renee and Orange just chilling quietly

Nana says "Swerve is working hard to recover" and I'm picturing him sitting by a pool relaxing

MVP?!?!?!

MANAGER FIGHT

Oh shit just remembered that the other guy at the clinic I went to today for my neck had a signed picture of Bobby Lashley on his wall.

YUKA VS MARIAH TIME

Good but I wish they got more time

WILLOW

MINA!!!!

MINA'S FACE!!!!!

Okay okay okay Mox vs Darby violence fest time

Love Marina coming out with Mox. She's so good, she just needs the right presentation and this is 1000% it.

Oh geez mouth blood already

The blood on the seat of Darby's shorts is giving me traumatic flashbacks to 1996

Just noticed the crown on Mox's pants

"YOU CAN'T KILL HIM!" well now he's gonna try even more, crowd

Wtf did Darby just spit ketchup and mustard

I don't think this particular angle was necessary, but that was a good match/attempted murder.

DANIELSON AND CLAUDIO AND PAC AAAA

QUEN AND ZAY AND KOMANDER

YUTA WHERE ARE YOU

YAY BRYAN SAID FUCK

Aaa BCC vs Private Party and Komander

Saturday aaaaaaa

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

Oh my God yes, please write the taz Billie Eilish fic! Song-fics are so cool && that would be sick 👏

THANK YOU FOR INDULGING MY HYPERFOCUS (and also sorry for the abrupt detour into your blog before I came to write this jdkskdlfl) THE FIC IS FINALLY DONE

I apologize for the length both in time and word-wise

...actually no that's a lie I don't apologize for the total word count of 5,030 or something JSKDKSDNKDKXNDKKFLC

Sometimes you look the same / just like you did before the accident

They don't cross paths often. It's something he has to avoid - just... Knowing what she's done, he can't face her anymore. And Barry wants to, he wants to so badly, because it's Lucy, lil’ Creesh, and he somehow still loves her, but he just - can't face her.

That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, though. He can't just stop searching for Lup, and Lucretia has her own plans, so sometimes they do still run into each other. Like today, when he's passing by the Felicity Wilds, just trying to make sure his relic is still contained.

It's hard to say why exactly he goes the direction he does. Looking back later, part of him thinks it was because he could sense her on some level. In any case, he comes to an abrupt halt when he sees her.

Lucy is collapsed over a fallen log, blood smeared all down her left leg, seen through a huge rip in her robe - not the IPRE one; something she clearly got in this system. Despite the arguments they'd had their last few run-ins, Barry's first instinct and response is fear that she's already dead, that this is the last he'll ever see of her because they've committed to this planar system. His second is to immediately go to her to help her, heal her, get her stabilized. Her breathing is erratic, pulse metronoming between fluttering like a butterfly and racing like a horse, but his ministrations help both to stabilize. Lesser Restoration, Cure Wounds, Sanctuary in case whatever attacked her - likely a chimera - returns. And then just... Wait.

Once her pulse has steadied to a point he no longer fears for her life, Barry releases a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Not that he needed it, being a lich.

Knowing that Lucretia is going to be okay, he sits on the log to watch over her, all animosity forgotten in the moment. It doesn't take her long to stir, pushing herself up and shifting to sit against the log, head tilted toward the sky as she takes measured breaths.

He feels like his world has lurched when he sees her face. It's not the same Keesh he knows - she's older, her face full of lines just like his is, an eternity of exhaustion held there. She catches whatever sound he made, apparently, as her head snaps to where he's sit-floating.

"Barry." It's clear by her tone alone that she wasn't expecting him; and even her voice has changed - it's deepened a little, has a heavy gravity to it. He doesn't respond.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, sitting up. He doesn't miss her grimace.

"I could ask you the same thing, except I'm pretty sure I know." Barry tries for flat, tries to re-establish distance between them, but he can't do that right now. Not when she'd almost -

Lucretia looks away with a sigh. "I... Really don't want to argue about this again," she says, quiet but firm.

He doesn't respond again, silence filling the space between them as he takes her in. She's so different, and yet it's still her, still Lucy-lu, still Creesh. In the way she moves, though not as graceful. In the way she studies the sky, though they've been here for years now and there's nothing new. In her very posture, though she slumps a little more than he remembers. In the little things he still finds beautiful about her, though he's still hurt and angry.

"What did you give up?" he finally asks.

"Too much," she answers, still quiet.

He waits for her to elaborate. When she sees, she exhales. "Some colors. Dexterity. A few memories. Nothing I couldn't stand to lose."

"What else?" he prompts.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. It matters to me."

Lucretia glances at him. "Why?"

"Because -" Barry struggles with the words, the feelings inside him, trying to match them together. He's already struggling to stay together just from the thought of his relic having hurt her, the thought of how much shorter her life could be. "Because it - it's you. It's the Bell. It's - please, Creesh, just tell me," he pleads.

"I don't want to hurt you like that, Barry. Please. We should just go our separate ways, like usual." She won't look at him.

"How much time?"

"Barry -"

He grabs her hand, or tries to, ghostly as he is. "How much time, Lucretia?"

"It doesn't matter," she insists.

"Yes it does. You're human - time for us is short. It matters, Creesh." The edges of his robe are crackling.

"No it doesn't, Barry," Lucretia moves to get up. He grabs at her shoulders.

"Please just - tell me!" Red bolts are flickering out from him, hitting trees and bushes, several narrowly missing her.

"I don't -"

"Tell me!" he cries, trying to shake her, casting Hold Person when she just keeps moving away from him.

Lucretia squeezes her eyes shut. She breathes slowly for a moment. "Twenty years," she finally whispers.

Twenty years. That's - twenty years. He stumbles backward, away from her. "Twenty years," he repeats numbly, then laughs. "Of course you'd give that much."

"I didn't want to."

"Doesn't matter, does it?" He dimly recognizes that he's falling apart, the magic keeping him together lashing out wildly.

There's a ripping sound from behind him, and he mutters a curse, trying desperately to think of The Days, the days his family gifted him to keep him Barry. He can only think of Lucretia's.

When you're staring into space, / it's hard to believe you don't remember it

She woke him with a kiss, snuggling up to him as he turned to see her better.

"Morning, Bar," she murmured.

"Morning Keesh," he responded, returning the kiss.

Lucretia had taken him out to the library, even though they both knew he'd spent so much time in there as is. They had a picnic up on a hill where the intersection of the prime material plane and the plane of magic looked like a galaxy that was visible even during the day, with some of his favorite foods courtesy of Lup (who had also thrown in two of Lucy's.) They'd talked about their hobbies, stories from their lives on their own plane, about each other. And they ended it with stargazing, catching a meteor shower, and falling asleep in his room.

Woke up in the ambulance; / you pieced it all together on the drive

Barry is dead long before he hits the ground, but the impact jars his lich form out of his body. It's a strange sensation, to say the least, but necessary as the memories that had been turning to static return in a flood. For that brief moment, he almost loses himself, but he reaches for the days he was given, the love he knows intrinsically, and the magic that is his being weaves itself back together.

He looks up at the Starblaster, still hanging in the sky, and immediately heads for it. If he and Taako were forgetting Lup and each other, what about everyone else? What was happening? Why did they start forgetting?

He reaches the deck and sees Taako still staring at the railing he had sent Barry over, shaking with tears running down his face. The expression on his face as he looks at Barry is one of utter blankness, not even a glint of recognition there. Then, as he seems to remember what had happened not five minutes ago, he scrambles backwards.

"I - I didn't kill him! He was asking me to!" he yelps, shakily raising his wand in defense.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, bud, I'm not here to do anything to you," Barry hurries to reassure him.

Taako doesn't lower his wand, but he doesn't start to cast anything either.

"Just stay here, okay? I don't want you going over either. I need to go check on the others." Barry turns and quickly heads inside, hearing no objection from the elf.

He intends to head for Lucretia's room first, to check on Fisher. He doesn't know what it feels like when the fella erases something, but the static has to be from somewhere. Fisher is his first option, and if it wasn't him, he can check down planetside once he knows everyone is okay.

He intends to go there, but he's stopped by the sight of Merle sitting on the ground near Davenport. He looks up as Barry moves toward them.

"Hey, are you a doctor or anything?" the dwarf asks. "I dunno what happened, but I think something's wrong with him." He nods to their captain.

"I - huh? Merle, you're a cleric," Barry frowns.

"I mean yeah, but I tried healing word and all that, and it didn't do shit," Merle says, waving a hand. He then squints at Barry. "But, uh, how did you know that? I don't think I said my name."

"Davenport. Davenport." The gnome looks at Barry. He clearly had been crying recently, but now his face is blank.

Barry feels like he's turning to ice with the realization that Merle doesn't seem to know who he is either. He focuses on Davenport. "Captain? Are you hurt?"

"Davenport. Davenport, Davenport," is his response, accompanied by a head shake.

"He just says that," Merle informs him. "Keep asking him what a Davenport is."

Shit. Shit.

Barry just nods, mind racing. "Yeah. Um, that's his name, can - can you just... Stay here? And try not to get hurt or anything?"

"Sure, whatever," Merle shrugs.

Barry instantly goes to Lucretia's room as he'd planned, feeling himself start to unravel again. If Merle doesn't remember him - the captain couldn't even - Taako doesn't -

He stops in the doorway, feeling a small bit of relief as he sees Creesh and Mags. The latter is sitting against the bed and seems to be asleep, while the former...

"Lucretia? Are you okay?"

She starts, looking up at him. Like Taako, her face is streaked with tears, but unlike him or Merle or Davenport, there's no hint of her forgetting, and that's a balm more than anything else. "Barry, I -"

"Hey, hey," he says, trying to soothe her. He can sense he's stabilizing again just by being with her. "It's okay, babe, I'm here."

She hiccups and nods, and he sits next to her. "Is Mags okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," she sniffs. "He - I caught him, before he could hit the floor."

Barry clucks sympathetically. "How are your arms?"

She doesn't even chuckle at his joke, just starts to cry harder. "I didn't know this - I didn't think it - I..."

"Shh, shh," Barry urges, wrapping her in his ghostly arms. "It's okay, Creesh, I'm here. We'll figure this out and set everything straight."

She shakes her head, hiccupping. "No, I can't. We - I don't know how to reverse this, Barry."

"We'll figure it out," he repeats. "They're all gonna be okay."

"It's my fault," she mumbles, wiping her face. "I didn't know... I thought if I just..."

Barry frowns. "What do you mean? This isn't..."

Things start to click together, and he goes cold.

"I thought it'd be -"

"Lucy. Lucretia, what did you do?" he says slowly.

"I'm sorry," she says, hiccupping. "I'm so sorry. I love you, I promise I - I promised him, I -"

"Lucretia, what did you do?!" He's unraveling again, faster this time. If she - she couldn't have - how did -?

As if reading his mind, the confession tumbles out of her, almost faster than he can keep up. She won't look at him, flinches at the magic that forms cracking energy bolts that lash out at the room around them, and he barely has the presence of mind to leave before she gets hurt, before Magnus gets hurt, before he can do anything without thinking.

I know you don't remember calling me, / but I told you even then you look so pretty. / In a hospital bed, / I remember you said / you were scared, / and so was I

Barry has barely enough time to cast Shield before the scythe slams into it, and he counters with an immediate Acid Splash.

"Nice to see you again, Kravitz," he manages, struggling a bit to keep that scythe blocked.

"You're gettin' sloppy, Sildar," Kravitz replies.

"Yeah, well." He sends a quick Message to Lucretia - Run now. He'll think you're just a bystander; he doesn't like getting people in the crossfire. "You know. Just got - got things to do."

I'm not leaving you, is her immediate response. He grits his teeth.

"A lich like you always does," Kravitz sneers.

Barry finally manages to shove Kravitz back, and the reaper starts with the usual spiel. "Sildar Hallwinter, by order of the Raven Queen, I -"

"Yeah, yeah, heard it before, bud," Barry answers. "Still not gonna come quietly or whatever."

A branch snaps behind Barry - great, maybe Lucretia is actually listening to him - and Kravitz's attention is drawn to it for a split second. He swings at Barry again, but he dances backward, expecting it now that the reaper is aware that they're not alone.

"Don't move another inch," Kravitz threatens.

"You know I don't really wanna fight you, Krav - can I call you Krav?"

"Absolutely not," he snaps. He spins his scythe into the air and it transforms into a wood flute.

"That new?" Barry comments. His only response is a quick melody, followed by a large sapphire disk slamming into him. Definitely new.

The scythe returns and arcs to cut him in half, taking advantage of the stumble in the fight. Barry braces himself, trying to get up another Shield.

The scythe makes contact with a barrier that eminates love and fear and protection, and Barry takes advantage of the out Lucretia gave him to appear next to her, Teleporting them to his base before Kravitz can fully register what just happened.

The human stumbles when she lands, using the wall of the cave to steady herself. Barry just checks on his wards, refreshing and strengthening them as necessary.

"So that was terrifying," Lucretia says when he returns.

He snorts. "Yeah. Kravitz has been a pain in my ass for the last couple years. Keeps finding me when I'm out too long, hence all the wards and stuff."

"Mm."

Silence falls for a long time. Part of him wants to resume their conversation, but part of him is just tired and doesn't want to argue with one of the women he loves, so he chooses silence instead.

Lucretia is the one to break it again. "I should go. I don't - thank you for your help."

He exhales. "I may be furious with you, but I'd never just let you die, Lucretia," he replies.

"I know," she says quietly.

After a moment, Barry says, "Where to?"

In a standstill on the 5, / thought it was unusually early traffic; / usually I don't panic

It's so much harder to get to their room now. Every step feels like she's wearing shoes made of lead, but she forces herself to keep walking, supporting herself with the stair rail, the wall - anything that can help.

She opens the door to the room and closes it behind her, immediately leaning against it and sliding to the floor. She's exhausted on so many levels - emotionally, physically - and she's trying not to cry.

"Davenport?" Her captain pokes his head out from the little adjoining sitting room, curiosity turning to concern as he sees the state she's in.

"I'm okay." Lucretia manages to lift her head, giving him a weak smile.

He frowns. "Davenport," he says, reprimanding her.

"I really am," she promises. "I just need to rest."

She starts getting to her feet, but her knees won't have it, sending her sliding back to the floor again. Trying not to feel embarrassed, trying more to not show it, she asks, "Will you help me to a bed? I don't think I can manage it right now."

Davenport nods, walking over to give her a hand. With his help, Lucretia hobbles to the bed, sinking onto it with a small, appreciative groan. "Thank you, Captain."

"Davenport." He hops onto the one across from her, looking at her expectantly.

"I... I don't want to talk about it right now. I just need to rest," she says, unable to meet his gaze.

"Davenport. Davenport," he says.

Lucretia turns, laying down. "I promise I'll tell you later," she says quietly.

She can practically hear him frown, but he doesn't respond. It's not a promise she intends to keep, if she's honest. She doesn't want to think about Wonderland. She doesn't want to think about Barry. She doesn't want to think about how he saved her, protected her even with what she's done. She doesn't want to hope he still loves her.

Lucretia closes her eyes, feeling like her body matches the age she feels now more than ever.

I / just wanted to be on time. / When I saw the ambulances on the shoulder, / I didn't even think of pulling over

Barry disappears and somehow Lucretia just knows that he's gone, that her betrayal of them all has torn him apart. The thought breaks her, the tears that had been moving steadily now bursting from her in loud, convulsive sobs. She buries her head in her arms, trying feebly for a moment to stop them from coming, then giving into them.

She doesn't know how long she's been sobbing when there's a warm hand on her shoulder, and she looks up, seeing a concerned, but distant, Magnus. "Hey, are - are you okay?"

She can't manage words for several moments. When she can finally answer, it's still heavily interrupted by hiccups and sobs. "My family is gone, and it's my fault."

"I'm sure that's not true." He offers a smile, but she shakes her head.

"It is. I - I'm so..." Lucretia can't force the last word out, turning away from him.

I pieced it all together late that night

It takes her several hours to finally start trying to sort out new lives for her family - what's left of it, without Barry and Lup.

Merle is the easiest to situate. Lucretia had found him family living on a beach, and it seemed perfect for him. He had been the happiest that year on the beach - they all had, she thinks. Hoping that his statement of wanting to live on one forever still holds true, hoping that the beach continues to bring him comfort and happiness, she gets him settled into the community with relative ease.

Magnus is a little harder, but she hears of a town known for their corridors of craftsmen, and she knows it's where he'll thrive. She accompanies him there, getting him an apprenticeship with a carpenter that reminds her a bit of the Power Bear.

Taako seems impossible for the longest time. He's one half a whole, snarkier and colder without Lup, thinking that his whole life he's been on his own with no one to look out for him but himself. Lucretia struggles to find something that he'd be happy with, something that can make up for what he's missing. Eventually, she settles on a cooking show. He's always enjoyed the spotlight, he deserves the adoration, he'll always be around others, and maybe, just maybe, cooking the things he loves will help to soften him to the world around them. She gets him set up with a stagecoach, a bodyguard - a wood elf, someone with ethereal beauty so similar to Taako and Lup's, someone who would feel familiar, someone who could help to ease the void that was Lup, his sister, his other half - and enough money to keep them afloat for the first few performances.

The last member of her family is what causes her to need several hours to situate them all - Davenport has been left unable to say much other than his own name, and she cried all the harder when she realized just what she'd done to him, him of all people.

So, knowing that he won't be able to communicate regularly, Lucretia takes guardianship of him, claiming him as her ward, knowing that the daily reminder of her selfishness, her mistake in not doing more to revise the journal, is the least she deserves for what she's done.

And I know you don't remember calling me, / but I told you even then you look so pretty. / In a hospital bed, / I remember you said / you were scared, / and so was I

The first time Lucretia came across Barry again, she had been in danger. The Bullwark Staff and the mastery of abjuration it provided the genasi who wielded it gave her more trouble than she'd expected. She'd been banished several times, trapped over a dozen times, hurt a handful, and all the while she could barely get a hit in on them.

They'd finally managed to trap her in a spherical Prismatic Wall, and while she'd been able to slowly dispel each of the layers in it - taking more damage than she'd ever care to admit to in the process, and leaving her struggling to stay conscious - the indigo one proved to nearly be her end. She was about to try one last time to dispel it, one last try that could either free her or leave her as a statue for the rest of time (which was starting to sound more and more tempting, if only to stop the pain) when she heard him yelling.

"Lucretia, stay still!"

She did so immediately, recognizing in the next moment that he'd used Suggestion on her. Surprise turned to relief turned to love. Then anger flared up in her, indignation from him trying to stop her, but before she could try to dispel the indigo layer again, she became immobile.

She couldn't see what was happening, not really. She could see, through the Wall, two figures fighting, as though covered by an old TV's technical issue static, with the spells of one often going awry and hitting the prismatic barrier. A quiet rage boiled in her as she struggled to throw off the Hold Person she was clearly under. All she could do was wait for it to end.

Lucretia immediately reached for the barrier once more the second she could move, determined to bypass it and free herself. She just had to dispel that layer, with the next going down with it if she could throw the force off once more time, and then she could take down the genasi and reclaim her relic. She steadied herself for the force she knew would try to stop her as part of the process.

"Lucretia!" he screamed.

What if it happened to you on a different day? On a bridge where there wasn't a rail in the way? Or a neighborhood street where the little kids play? Or the Angeles Crest in the snow or the rain?

Lup stared up at the stars, nestled between Barry and Lucretia, the only thing between them all and the open air being a soft blanket spread across the three of them. They hadn't had many nights like this lately. Lucy had been pulling away from them, from all of them. A night like that was a gift.

Her girlfriend propped herself up after a moment, asking, "You okay Lup?"

"I'm good, babe. Just thinking," she responded, kissing Creesh's forehead.

"Penny for the thoughts?"

"Mm." Lup stretched her arms out above her head, using one to pillow it.

"I just keep thinking about all the destruction we caused. Are causing," she said after a moment, quiet.

Lucretia was quiet as well. This topic had been a sore spot between them, a barrier between Lup and Barry, and their girlfriend.

"We can't really take it back now," the human finally said evenly.

"Yeah. Guess not." Lup exhaled, closing her eyes. "'M sorry for bringing it up."

"It's okay."

"Mm."

Silence stretched between them for a long time, the sounds of the wildlife around them weaving into a sort of song. It was comforting, in a way. Peaceful in a way Lup felt she didn't deserve.

"I had thought about settling down together before," she said, breaking the quiet at last. "The three of us, with the rest of those knuckleheads nearby."

The only reply she got was soft snoring, and when she glanced at Lucy, she saw that she'd fallen asleep. A faint smile touched the elf's face, and she kissed her girlfriend's forehead again before returning to stargazing.

She didn't know how she could entertain the idea of a domestic life anymore. Not in the way she wanted. Not with the destruction that was their relics out in the world.

What if you weren't alone; there were kids in the car? What if you were remote; no one knows where you are? If you changed anything, would you not have survived? You're alive, you're alive, you're alive -

Lup is quiet as she follows Cyrus through the cave, keeping the gauntlet hidden in her robe. She keeps telling herself this is what she needs to do, that sealing the relics away is the best option.

He isn't much for conversation, but she doesn't mind. She's too lost in her own thoughts, her own head. Trying to figure out how she's going to pull all this off, if this will work at all, if she can retrieve the other relics, if, if, if.

She doesn't realize what's happening until the pain from the cut blooms, and it shocks her back into reality. She sees Cyrus with the gauntlet, running the way they came. Grabbing her umbrella from where it's hanging at her side, she manages to get off a Thunderwave, throwing him into the vault she'd intended to lock the gauntlet in. She slams the doors after him, and sighs, touching the cut the dwarf gave her. It's strangely numb, but that's probably due to adrenaline.

Lup takes a few steps back the way they came, pulling her hand away from the wound, then stops as she looks at it. The blood there is black, not the usual blue. She twists to try to see the area around the cut, her heart sinking as she sees that her skin is turning an ashy gray, her veins visible and black.

"Silverpoint," she says quietly. A bitter chuckle escapes from her as she starts to feel weak, and she uses the wall to support herself as she moves to sit by the door, sliding to the ground as she feels her racing pulse become more sluggish. "Bastard."

So much for this body, she thinks. Her only body, she corrects herself. She starts laughing and closes her eyes, growing weaker. She underestimated the thrall on that thing. At least it's contained like she wanted.

Her lich form emerges from her body as it dies, and Lup turns to return to the Starblaster. Taako's gonna hate her for already beefing it.

She doesn't realize the full consequences of her death until she's sucked into the umbrastaff, screaming.

And I know you don't remember calling me, / but I told you even then you looked so pretty. / In your hospital bed, / I remember you said / you were scared. / And so am I

Lucretia stands nervously on the porch, and despite the obvious toll the years have had on her, Lup smiles. "Hey beautiful."

The compliment has the exact effect she'd intended: Lucretia blushes deeply. It also has an unintended effect, though, because she also looks mildly uncomfortable.

"Hi Lup. Um. Is Barry here?" Lucretia asks, not meeting her eyes.

"Not right now. He's training with Kravitz. I get a pass since I'm still getting used to a body again." Lup tries to remain nonchalant about the fact she's feels like she's been shoved into a cage, so much like being inside the umbrastaff, but without the velvet and black.

"I see. I'll come back later, then." Lucretia turns to go, but Lup clumsily grabs her hand.

"Hey, there's no rush," she says reassuringly. "I got some good wine from Taako, you wanna try some?"

"I don't want to intrude," Lucretia deflects, not turning around.

"It's just me here, babe. I'm not even doing anything," Lup coaxes. "Just one glass."

Lucretia hesitates. "Maybe just one," she relents.

They end up snuggled on the couch, more drunk than either had planned for, laughing over the shenanigans the boys pulled while in the Bureau. Lup gets to fill her in on the details she could catch, and Lucretia can fill her in on anything she couldn’t. They end up cackling like madwomen, but it feels good. Like nothing has changed all these years later.

Barry still hasn’t returned when Lucretia finally brings up the question, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled. “Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?” she asks quietly.

“Who?” Lup glances at her.

“Barry. I mean, I wouldn’t blame him if he never does.” Lucretia is gazing steadily at the ceiling, and Lup is silent for a moment.

“I want to say yes, but I don’t know what happened between you,” she admits.

“Fair.”

“I forgive you though, Luce. Honestly, it’d be hypocritical if I didn’t.” Lup cracks a smile, tracing circles on the human’s palm.

“That doesn’t mean you have to,” Lucretia responds, still not looking at her.

“Hey. Look at me?”

After a moment, Lucretia does so, and Lup pulls her into a gentle kiss. “I forgive you, Lucy,” she says when they separate. “And I still love you. I still want to be together.”

Lucretia closes her eyes, biting her lip. It’s an action so much like the Lucretia Lup knows, it hardly feels like it’s been a decade. “Are you sure?”

“When have I not been, babe?” Lup brushes a thumb along her cheekbone, and Lucretia leans into it.

“I just - I don’t want to make things complicated for you and Barry.”

“He doesn’t hate you, Creesh,” Lup says. “Me being with you isn’t gonna make things complicated.”

“You don’t know that.” Lucretia won’t look at her.

“Do you know how many times we’ve talked about what happened?” Lup responds with half a smile. “The way he talks about you? Like, I’m not gonna lie to you, Luce, he is still pretty mad. But he talks about the times you two ran into each other, and he smiles. I think he still loves you. It’s just gonna take time to heal.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Now stop avoiding the question,” Lup continues, poking Lucretia’s cheek and earning a smile in reply.

“I don’t remember a question being asked that wasn’t answered,” Lucretia says archly.

“Then I’ll ask one: Do you want to date again?” Lup says, holding Lucretia’s face gently.

The human takes a deep, shuddering breath, then nods. “So badly,” she admits.

Lup smiles. “That’s my girl,” she murmurs, leaning in to kiss her.

[acepalindrome]

Friends, if you enjoy D&D/tabletop actual plays or fantasy or just great stories and great characters that are equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking, I am begging you on bended knee to give NADDPOD (Not Another D&D Podcast) a try. It is truly so good and never gets enough love. To compare to other well know actual plays, it’s closest in vibe to TAZ Balance, so I would especially recommend it if you love TAZ Balance.

The episodes are about 90 minutes long on average and are very listenable. I tend to get bored with combat in actual plays sometimes, but the fights in NADDPOD are so fun and fast paced while not cutting any of the zaniness of a bunch of goobers playing D&D.

And what do you like? World building? DM Murph’s worlds are so fun and fresh and play around with existing D&D concepts of alignments and gods in ways that are so very satisfying.

How about some fantastic characters? The PCs are so entertaining and can be extremely goofy but they will make you cry, that is a threat and a promise. And Murph’s NPCs range from being complex and fascinating and lovable to the biggest shithead losers that are so fun to hate.

Want some queer characters? We got you covered, both the main campaigns and Trinyvale have canon queer PCs who end up in canon relationships.

Okay, but where do you start? There are two main campaigns and a ton of side stuff! I would recommend starting either Campaign 1 (Bahumia) or Campaign 2 (Eldermourne.) I love Trinyvale but I don’t think it’s the best introduction to NADDPOD, and Hot Boy Summer is best saved for after finishing Campaign 1. If you listen to the Donkey Kong oneshots first you might die in real life. You gotta build up to that shit.

I think Campaign 1 is overall the stronger story, but it does take a bit to get really really good, about 12 episodes in. It’s fun enough before that, and you should listen to the first chunk to get to know the characters, but once you hit the Galaderon arc the show goes from about 7/10 to 12/10. The basic plot is that it’s the ‘campaign after the campaign.’ The world has already been saved by a team of legendary heroes, but it turns out maybe the world isn’t as saved as we thought and maybe those heroes actually fucked some things up in a pretty big way. ‘Kill your idols’ is a big theme and it’s fantastic.

Campaign 2 jumps right in and is good from the start, but it’s a much shorter campaign and it has some pacing issues. That said, it’s still an excellent campaign and I’ve been crying about the finale all day. This campaign takes place in a dark fairytale inspired world torn apart by a conflict between two gods, the Reaper and the Trickster. Deals a lot with religion and faith and how they can be used to manipulate (like me, Murph is an ex-Catholic and his portrayals of this stuff hit me so hard.)

One of my favorite things is how well NADDPOD balances humor and drama. It’s easily the funniest actual play I’ve ever listened to, and someday I will learn to stop listening to it on earphones when I’m out on public because I always end up laughing out loud like a weirdo. But when the drama hits? It’s so good and poignant and both campaigns have god-tier found families that constantly destroy my heart with how much they love each other and make each other better and stronger in their darkest times.

I really can’t say enough good about NADDPOD. Please give it a try if you haven’t. And then tell me all about it because I love seeing people enjoy my favorite things.

And also be warned that if you start with campaign 1, there is a long bit about dragon genitalia in the first episode. People either love it or hate it. You’ve gotta just get through it.

[nevermindrussia]

Russian winter holidays' features - part 3. New Year meals

As I said in the 1st post of this series, most Russians prefer to celebrate the New Year at home. So you gotta know what Russian home parties look like. Generally they consist of what is called застолье [zastol'e], from «за столом» [za stolom] - "at the dinner table". It may be translated as "a banquet", but it's not precise, because what we call банкет [banket], "a banquet" is at restaraunt or cafe only, but застолье usually is at one's home.

So, one of the most important parts of celebratond the New Year is festive meals. Many (maybe even most) families in Russia have a tradition to cook lots of food for the New Year table. LOTS. OF. FOOD. In Russia we have the таз [taz] word - it means a large bowl, used for washing clothes or the like. So, the popular phrase of тазик салата ("bowl of salad") very often is not an exaggeration, especially when застолье is set for big family with many relatives. And that's not about some light vegetable salad! Below is described, for example, traditional Russian Olivier salad, which is very caloric.

Also Russian families often stock up delicacies for the New Year table. Sometimes they start doing it in month or more before. That habit definitely goes from USSR, when deficit of diverse and tasty foodstuff made people hunt for some копченая колбаса [kopchyonaya kolbasa] - summer sausages - or красная рыба krasnaya ryba], lit. "red fish" - salmon. For it was rare and expensive, it was not everyday food, so it was kept for a festive table to delight the hosts and surprise their guests. Today you can buy various delicacies in almost any store everyday (unless you're living in a remote country). But the tradition is still alive. So we make jokes of this, saying that when our fridge is stuffed with food before December 31st, we say: Ничего не трогай, это на Новый год [nichego ne trogai, eto na novyi god] - "do not touch, it's for the New Year"; and when the same is after it, we say: Ешь скорее, а то все испортится [esh' skoree, a to vsyo isportitsya] - "c'mon, hurry up to finish it, otherwise it will get rotten")) And we actually consume the food left from the New Year celebration at least the first 2-3 days of January, that's true))

The caption is: The "don't touch , it's for the New Year" season is officially open

So, we have reviewed the meal issue in summary, so let's see, what kinds of food have almost every Russian family on their festive table.

1. Салат оливье [salat oliv'ye] - Olivier salad

This dish has become a real symbol for the New Year celebration in Russia. Idk why, maybe because sausage in it's recipe was one of meat products that one could get rather easily. The fact is the original Olivier salad by recipe of the beginning of XXth century has nothing to do with modern Olivier - quite cheap, easily cooked, nutritive meal.

It's main ingridients are:

some special sausage called Докторская [doktorskaya]. Yes, it descends from "doctor") The point is in early Soviet Russia doctors had been recommended it for dieting instead of other sorts of sausages, cause it's low-fat. It looks like that:

and also:

boiled potatoes

green peas

marinated cucumbers

hard-boiled eggs

boiled carrots

somebody also add green or bulb onions. I don't like onions, so I do not.

Everything diced and mixed, seasoned with mayonnaise.

2. Селёдка под шубой [selyodka pod shuboi]

I've tried hard, but seems there is no appropriate translation for this salad) and the literal is "herring under a fur coat")))) don't worry, ot doesn't include any fur))) "The fur coat" here is a name for the rest of the salad, except herring itself, which is layered upon it. So these layers are:

boiled potatoes (diced or mashed)

onions (diced finely)

boiled eggs (grated or diced finely)

boiled carrots (grated)

boiled beets (grated)

mayonnaise (on every or almost every layer)

And under everything of this - filleted herring, chopped finely. Yummy 😋 Sometimes we make thin layers of everything and repeat them all twice - so it's even more delicious!

3. Нарезка [narezka] (from нарезать, "to slice") - sliced meat and fish

See above of the stocked up delicacies. That's time for them. We usually have at the New Year table at least 2 plates: one with slices of sausages, carbonado, carpaccio etc. of various sorts; other one with slices of salmon and sometimes any other delicacy fish, for ex. butterfish. Sometimes there is also a cheese plate.

4. Красная икра [krasnaya ikra] - lit. "red roe", salmon roe.

A total must-have for the New Year table! Even those who consider оливье and селёдка под шубой a lowbrow food, too heavy and rough, definitely won't refuse some salmon roe on a buttered slice of a baguette. Btw, as you can see, we don't use the salmon (лосось, [losos']) word in it's name. Just "red roe". And famous caviar, a sturgeon roe, is "black roe". Everything is very logical, isn't it?)

5. Мандарины [mandariny] - tangerines

This tradition goes from USSR too. For a long time tangerines had been the only exotic fruit Russian could buy, and only in winter - before the New Year exactly. Today we can buy it every day, but many people remember of them just before the winter holidays. The smell of tangerines is a kinda official New Year smell in Russia) as well as smell ot the New Year fir tree.

6. Шампанское [shampanskoe] - champagne

The essential New Year beverage is, of course, champagne. If one prefers any other wine or strong drinks, he or she may have it at the New Year table, but at least one glass of champagne - right at first seconds of the year - is required. Since 90th we have even "children's champagne" - soft fizzy fruit-flavoured drink in bottles of remarkable shape with special corks. As I refuse alcohol at all for today, I guess I will have such for myself at upcoming New Year party)

That's all the main parts of новогоднее застолье I could remember. Of course that's not all. Every family adds something as they wish. Some have a special festive dish of their own, for example, in our family it's chicken stewed in sour cream. That's a hot meal; another popular hot meal is French meat: it means beef or pork steaks baked with cheese, mushrooms and sometimes tomato, served with mashed potatoes, and idk what does it have to do with France)) But these are details, after all. Anyway, now you know the most traditional Russian dishes for New Year party, and you may have it on your own table if you wish to feel like a real Russian!)

Follow me and read more to know about more Russian New Year features! The next ones will be of the New Year TV shows and movies - so stay tuned!)

[wrestlezon]

liveblog containment post for aew rampage 6/17/22

do you know i also use these to remember what goes on in any given episode instead of just reading a recap? its true. dual purpose. what if i need to show a friend an important segment and i dont remember where it is and i dont want to scrub through the whole replay, huh???

dante vs moxley to start! i love watching dante do his flips. dude straight up has a double jump irl its cool hes fighting a total brawler-type like moxley too oh my god moxley CHUCKING him into the corner right before the pip LMFAO TAZ AND JERICHO BICKERING holy shit i feel sorry for anyone who watches this pip'd you are missing OUT. i need to record and post this bit online for you all dante martin gets so much airtime. why aren't people writing wingfic about this man HUHH ^ my friend admonished me for this comment lmao jericho getting corrected on wrestlemoves by regal... ahh there is the now-classic BCC elbow pummeling. its only a matter of time before the win

swerve and keith lee segment! are they gonna kiss and make up. please dont break up your tag team :)c awww omg keith lee is literally wearing a naruto hoodie. king shit ! team taz has appeared! conflict...

house of black segment!! death triangle vs house of black conflict: picked up again!!!

its the gunnclaimed trios match, and max caster is here to rap!!! lmao i was wondering how he would bring up the wwe thing in a way that wouldnt get him in hot water oh! i didnt realize the "ruffin it" trio had bear country in it the three way scissoring lol... the cut to bowens just going wild and frothing was so good oh! squashed...

hook segment! lmao hes still doing the strong silent type thing. im glad. hes basically serious orange cassidy danhausen!! hook only talks to danhausen huh... thats........... so.................................. sweet

speaking of sweet: willow vs jade!!!! willow has great energy. A+++++++ i love her oh my god jade's outfit omg we're getting stokely on commentary??? YES little cartwheel flip into a shrug... WILLOW lmfao SQUATS i love how color coordinated they are right now and kiera hogan representing: blue UGH i love their OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!! i did like the color composition of how willow's darker layer looked on her other outfit but this is good too. it still has the layering so she can drop the straps, right? thats such a signature move noooo the mid-rampage FULL COMMERCIAL defeat... not unexpected but i thought thered be more. i did like what i saw though! willow had some good bits!!!

beating up willow post-match!!! rude! villainous!! athena to the rescue. the anti-baddie squad LMFAO STATLANDER SLAPPED STOKEY'S BALD HEAD wait was there any confusion about anna/kris/athena being in the anti-baddie squad? who was confused by this

jay lethal is doing a promo... theyre talking up satnam singh

omg that moxley moving graphic for the forbidden door ppv 4 way match for the atlantic title?? EDDIE YUTA SHOOTER TRIOS MATCH???? ftr vs jeff cobb/o khan vs roppongi vice three way double title match? oh man are ftr going to get MORE belts omg??? jericho & lance archer vs moxley & tanahashi on wednesday??? look im not going to bring up the absence of chuck. im not. im trying not to. im just going to expect the bte on monday to bring up how he has probably been 100% distracted hanging out with the dark order. im rationalizing as hard as i possibly can

darby vs bobby fish promo oh my god. kyle's face

bobby: what, are you asking me to a date? to outback steakhouse?

the match jesus what an insane flip from bobby charging into jumping darby and that running dive lmao at them like instant replaying these. they better, its so death defying. gotta milk it lmfao the face on the crowd guy recording on his cell phone ok these replays are getting a little bit too ridiculous bobby heckling the crowd... is he buying time for darby to recover from these rough bumps just grabbling his taint for that pin the commentators: "i think he was doing that by instinct" ok. a decent group in the crowd was doing a long chant. i dont see chuck taylor in the ring. why are you doing such a long wrestle chant for anyone else whoa that transition to an ankle lock was cool oh man THAT transition into a pin was cool. darby wins!

post match beatdown... who is going to appear to save darby from this onslaught lights out??? what the. can't be the house of black right its sting!! lmfao that baseball bat move on kyle. owned damn theyre pulverizing bobby's leg lmfao the cut to kyle made me laugh so hard HIS POOR POOR DICK AND BALLS they keep cutting to kyle being dramatic LMFAO GOD theyre so funny i love them

[itsybitsyjoltik]

For the ask game - The Adventure Zone: Balance and/or Revolutionary Girl Utena

TAZ

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): oh god this is actually hard for me. is it taako or is it lup. fuck it it's both of them i love both of them so much

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): who could it possibly be but our dear beloved ango

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): i feel like they do have a distinct fanbase but i've always felt like carey and killian get less love than they could or should

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): roswell! i would die for roswell they're so great

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): oh undeniably lucretia, my second favorite npc and absolute hot mess of a love. did she do a very fucked up thing? yes. am i contractually obligated to love female characters specifically because they act in a kinda fucked up way? hell yes.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): taako. i love him dearly but like it's taako, of course he'd be fun to torment

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): john but maybe he can come out to have dates with merle occasionally for good behavior

utena

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): why miss utena tenjou herself. she's an icon.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): i feel like i don't really have anyone like that for rgu so i guess i'm saying utena again

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave):wakaba deserves better

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): does kozue count as obscure? she's awful, i love her. go to therapy kozue but also you're great

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): nanami! she is awful. i love her. also i think anthy counts for this, i adore anthy, she is a hot mess and she deserves better than literally everything she goes through (that being said i feel like any character in this show could be considered a problematic fave, they're all fucking messes)

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): nanami or touga for different reasons. touga because fuck touga, nanami because as much as i love her she probably deserves it and also it's fun to mess with her

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): i feel like you sent me this specifically to see me send akio to superhell and who am i to deny that. fuck akio.