institute-of-planar-shitposts

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

you can have a little merle, as a treat

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

Today’s Taako is bored.

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

and i can’t do anything to save it

[ID: a two-panel comic featuring Lucretia and the silhouettes of Taako, Magnus and Merle. It is in primary colors (blue, red and yellow)

Lucretia, a young Black woman with round glasses, and locs in a messy low-bun. While she is wearing a deep red coat similar to the background, she is noticeably drawn in deep, cobalt blue.

In the first panel, she is looking out of a yellow window with deep concern, while the Tres Horny Boys seem to be looking at each other in confusion. Text above her reads: “Have you ever seen”

In the second panel, she is looking up in both awe and horror. The reflection on her glasses show what she was looking at: the eyes of the Hunger, staring back at her. The text above her continues from the first statement: “- A planet DYING?”

End description.]

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

i love lup

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

"...have any questions?" the Director asks as she finishes informing the brand new Reclaimers of what their new job will entail, as well as the fee she'd just had Davenport pay them.

"I've got one," Taako offers. "As far as we know, is there a bad Bureau of Balance?"

"A Bureau of Imbalance?" Magnus adds, grinning as he nods.

"Just general bad guys?" Merle agrees.

The Director exhales. "Of sorts, yes. To the best of our knowledge, the group that created the Grand Relics, known as the Red Robes for the bright crimson robes they were known for, are all but gone. The Red Robes were a group of powerful wizards, warlocks, and other magic users, and they created the eight relics according to the school they had the most affinity for. If you ever run into any of them, it's imperative you run away."

"So they're still around, then?" Merle checks.

"Most of them are not, no."

"Sooo, again, they're still around?" Taako says, raising an eyebrow.

The Director looks between them, her gaze measured. "I suppose I shouldn't hide it from you, as Reclaimers," she decides. "I'm telling the truth - most of the Red Robes are no longer in existence. The entire Bureau knows about them, and the standing order to run, but due to the danger it poses, few know about the greater threat."

"And that is...?" Magnus gestures for her to continue.

"The story of the Red Robes isn't well known to most of the world," she says, getting up to look out a window. "Of course, that's partially due to the Voidfish. As I'd told you before, the only way to stop the war for the relics was to make the world forget, and that included what was already well-known about the group. I only have what knowledge I've been able to piece together about them. On their own, they're dangerous enough. That said, there's a threat to this world that's greater than the Red Robes.

"In the bits and pieces I've heard, there's a reason this group fell. The Grand Relics, once word spread of their power, were highly sought after. The Red Robes tried to hide them, but gradually lost each item they'd created. One of them became enraged over their loss, and decided to take matters into her own hands. The destruction of the group was due to this being turning on the rest. She was crazed, determined to recover what they'd lost by any means necessary, even if that meant taking out the rest of the Red Robes.

"The rumors about this being say that she's a warlock to something with power never seen otherwise on this plane, and that she causes destruction wherever she goes as she searches for the Grand Relics. I don't know how much of this is true," the Director adds, turning back to the new Reclaimers. "What I do know, however, is I've encountered someone who matches her description, and she is indeed bent on reclaiming the relics, no matter the cost. She's been named the Black Opal."

"'The Black Opal'? Isn't that a Goosebumps story or something?" Merle frowns.

"I think it's a separate series," Magnus disagrees.

"And it's called the Black Lagoon," Taako adds, snorting. "You know, creatures of?"

"Oh. Is that where the name came from?" Merle blinks.

The Director looks like she's resisting the urge to drag a hand down her face. "No. Black opal is a gemstone," she answers. "I hope you never have to meet her, but if you did, you'd understand why she's been called such."

"Is she made of the stuff or something?" Taako snorts.

"Or something," she confirms, expression grim. "It's impossible to know exactly what that substance is, but that gemstone is the closest description I can give. If you ever run into the Black Opal - and again, I dearly, dearly hope you never do - you must run as fast and far as you can. I don't want to risk losing anyone to her mad destruction."

"I'm sure we could take her," Magnus argues.

"No," the Director says forcefully. "Your direct orders are to run, if you ever see her. That's it. Do not engage, do not try to reason with her. Run."

"Okay, okay," Taako says, waving a hand. "We get it, we see the spooky robe, we run. You talked about a gachapon thing earlier, can we get going?"

She scrutinizes each of them for a long moment before exhaling. "So long as you've truly etched that command into your brains, then yes," she replies, sitting back at her desk. "Davenport will show you how to get there."

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

burn bright, magic lady

-

Commissions?

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

I havent made anything for the adventure zone in a while

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

"...have any questions?" the Director asks as she finishes informing the brand new Reclaimers of what their new job will entail, as well as the fee she'd just had Davenport pay them.

"I've got one," Taako offers. "As far as we know, is there a bad Bureau of Balance?"

"A Bureau of Imbalance?" Magnus adds, grinning as he nods.

"Just general bad guys?" Merle agrees.

The Director exhales. "Of sorts, yes. To the best of our knowledge, the group that created the Grand Relics, known as the Red Robes for the bright crimson robes they were known for, are all but gone. The Red Robes were a group of powerful wizards, warlocks, and other magic users, and they created the eight relics according to the school they had the most affinity for. If you ever run into any of them, it's imperative you run away."

"So they're still around, then?" Merle checks.

"Most of them are not, no."

"Sooo, again, they're still around?" Taako says, raising an eyebrow.

The Director looks between them, her gaze measured. "I suppose I shouldn't hide it from you, as Reclaimers," she decides. "I'm telling the truth - most of the Red Robes are no longer in existence. The entire Bureau knows about them, and the standing order to run, but due to the danger it poses, few know about the greater threat."

"And that is...?" Magnus gestures for her to continue.

"The story of the Red Robes isn't well known to most of the world," she says, getting up to look out a window. "Of course, that's partially due to the Voidfish. As I'd told you before, the only way to stop the war for the relics was to make the world forget, and that included what was already well-known about the group. I only have what knowledge I've been able to piece together about them. On their own, they're dangerous enough. That said, there's a threat to this world that's greater than the Red Robes.

"In the bits and pieces I've heard, there's a reason this group fell. The Grand Relics, once word spread of their power, were highly sought after. The Red Robes tried to hide them, but gradually lost each item they'd created. One of them became enraged over their loss, and decided to take matters into her own hands. The destruction of the group was due to this being turning on the rest. She was crazed, determined to recover what they'd lost by any means necessary, even if that meant taking out the rest of the Red Robes.

"The rumors about this being say that she's a warlock to something with power never seen otherwise on this plane, and that she causes destruction wherever she goes as she searches for the Grand Relics. I don't know how much of this is true," the Director adds, turning back to the new Reclaimers. "What I do know, however, is I've encountered someone who matches her description, and she is indeed bent on reclaiming the relics, no matter the cost. She's been named the Black Opal."

"'The Black Opal'? Isn't that a Goosebumps story or something?" Merle frowns.

"I think it's a separate series," Magnus disagrees.

"And it's called the Black Lagoon," Taako adds, snorting. "You know, creatures of?"

"Oh. Is that where the name came from?" Merle blinks.

The Director looks like she's resisting the urge to drag a hand down her face. "No. Black opal is a gemstone," she answers. "I hope you never have to meet her, but if you did, you'd understand why she's been called such."

"Is she made of the stuff or something?" Taako snorts.

"Or something," she confirms, expression grim. "It's impossible to know exactly what that substance is, but that gemstone is the closest description I can give. If you ever run into the Black Opal - and again, I dearly, dearly hope you never do - you must run as fast and far as you can. I don't want to risk losing anyone to her mad destruction."

"I'm sure we could take her," Magnus argues.

"No," the Director says forcefully. "Your direct orders are to run, if you ever see her. That's it. Do not engage, do not try to reason with her. Run."

"Okay, okay," Taako says, waving a hand. "We get it, we see the spooky robe, we run. You talked about a gachapon thing earlier, can we get going?"

She scrutinizes each of them for a long moment before exhaling. "So long as you've truly etched that command into your brains, then yes," she replies, sitting back at her desk. "Davenport will show you how to get there."

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

Listen i may be gay as shit but i am a SLUT, for your krav

Excellent! I colored that sketch I made the other day as well:

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

lup told him to just have fun with it

[id: two images of a lined drawing of taako, an elf dressed in formal clothes, standing in front of a screen with a remote in his hand. in the first image the screen says in a fancy font, “Welcome to….” and taako has a neutral expression. in the second image the screen has changed to say “Wedding 2: They Want Another One” in large red block letters with fire in the background. taako grins. end id]

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

"...have any questions?" the Director asks as she finishes informing the brand new Reclaimers of what their new job will entail, as well as the fee she'd just had Davenport pay them.

"I've got one," Taako offers. "As far as we know, is there a bad Bureau of Balance?"

"A Bureau of Imbalance?" Magnus adds, grinning as he nods.

"Just general bad guys?" Merle agrees.

The Director exhales. "Of sorts, yes. To the best of our knowledge, the group that created the Grand Relics, known as the Red Robes for the bright crimson robes they were known for, are all but gone. The Red Robes were a group of powerful wizards, warlocks, and other magic users, and they created the eight relics according to the school they had the most affinity for. If you ever run into any of them, it's imperative you run away."

"So they're still around, then?" Merle checks.

"Most of them are not, no."

"Sooo, again, they're still around?" Taako says, raising an eyebrow.

The Director looks between them, her gaze measured. "I suppose I shouldn't hide it from you, as Reclaimers," she decides. "I'm telling the truth - most of the Red Robes are no longer in existence. The entire Bureau knows about them, and the standing order to run, but due to the danger it poses, few know about the greater threat."

"And that is...?" Magnus gestures for her to continue.

"The story of the Red Robes isn't well known to most of the world," she says, getting up to look out a window. "Of course, that's partially due to the Voidfish. As I'd told you before, the only way to stop the war for the relics was to make the world forget, and that included what was already well-known about the group. I only have what knowledge I've been able to piece together about them. On their own, they're dangerous enough. That said, there's a threat to this world that's greater than the Red Robes.

"In the bits and pieces I've heard, there's a reason this group fell. The Grand Relics, once word spread of their power, were highly sought after. The Red Robes tried to hide them, but gradually lost each item they'd created. One of them became enraged over their loss, and decided to take matters into her own hands. The destruction of the group was due to this being turning on the rest. She was crazed, determined to recover what they'd lost by any means necessary, even if that meant taking out the rest of the Red Robes.

"The rumors about this being say that she's a warlock to something with power never seen otherwise on this plane, and that she causes destruction wherever she goes as she searches for the Grand Relics. I don't know how much of this is true," the Director adds, turning back to the new Reclaimers. "What I do know, however, is I've encountered someone who matches her description, and she is indeed bent on reclaiming the relics, no matter the cost. She's been named the Black Opal."

"'The Black Opal'? Isn't that a Goosebumps story or something?" Merle frowns.

"I think it's a separate series," Magnus disagrees.

"And it's called the Black Lagoon," Taako adds, snorting. "You know, creatures of?"

"Oh. Is that where the name came from?" Merle blinks.

The Director looks like she's resisting the urge to drag a hand down her face. "No. Black opal is a gemstone," she answers. "I hope you never have to meet her, but if you did, you'd understand why she's been called such."

"Is she made of the stuff or something?" Taako snorts.

"Or something," she confirms, expression grim. "It's impossible to know exactly what that substance is, but that gemstone is the closest description I can give. If you ever run into the Black Opal - and again, I dearly, dearly hope you never do - you must run as fast and far as you can. I don't want to risk losing anyone to her mad destruction."

"I'm sure we could take her," Magnus argues.

"No," the Director says forcefully. "Your direct orders are to run, if you ever see her. That's it. Do not engage, do not try to reason with her. Run."

"Okay, okay," Taako says, waving a hand. "We get it, we see the spooky robe, we run. You talked about a gachapon thing earlier, can we get going?"

She scrutinizes each of them for a long moment before exhaling. "So long as you've truly etched that command into your brains, then yes," she replies, sitting back at her desk. "Davenport will show you how to get there."

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

Contributor Spotlights:

Introducing @nillial, one of our writers!

[Text featured in spotlight in plaintext below the cut]

Kravitz has never felt pain worse than what he’s enduring now: the fire in his stomach, the ache shooting back and forth throughout his body. He can no longer breathe— his lungs refuse to. He can no longer speak— his tongue rejects him, swollen and useless. He can no longer move— the blood inside of him runs cold and exhaustion overtakes him.

And what of his mom? She doesn’t know where he is. She’ll likely never find out. And what of the church? Will they find someone else to play piano? And what of his mom? She’ll weep and scream and beg for what she can’t have back. And what of the bakery he visits on Thursday mornings? Will they notice he’s gone if he fails to pick up his bread, if he’s not there to make small talk, to wave goodbye as he exits through the double doors? And what of his mom? Will she be the only one at his empty grave? How long will she grieve her only child? Will she know who stole his life away from him? Will she bring him to justice? What of his mom? What of his mom? What of his mom?

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

i finally started listening to The Stolen Century

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

13 : Death

🌕 Rebirth, change, end of a cycle

🌑 Delayed endings, fear of change, uncertainty

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

lup is always the fruit of my labor

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

"...have any questions?" the Director asks as she finishes informing the brand new Reclaimers of what their new job will entail, as well as the fee she'd just had Davenport pay them.

"I've got one," Taako offers. "As far as we know, is there a bad Bureau of Balance?"

"A Bureau of Imbalance?" Magnus adds, grinning as he nods.

"Just general bad guys?" Merle agrees.

The Director exhales. "Of sorts, yes. To the best of our knowledge, the group that created the Grand Relics, known as the Red Robes for the bright crimson robes they were known for, are all but gone. The Red Robes were a group of powerful wizards, warlocks, and other magic users, and they created the eight relics according to the school they had the most affinity for. If you ever run into any of them, it's imperative you run away."

"So they're still around, then?" Merle checks.

"Most of them are not, no."

"Sooo, again, they're still around?" Taako says, raising an eyebrow.

The Director looks between them, her gaze measured. "I suppose I shouldn't hide it from you, as Reclaimers," she decides. "I'm telling the truth - most of the Red Robes are no longer in existence. The entire Bureau knows about them, and the standing order to run, but due to the danger it poses, few know about the greater threat."

"And that is...?" Magnus gestures for her to continue.

"The story of the Red Robes isn't well known to most of the world," she says, getting up to look out a window. "Of course, that's partially due to the Voidfish. As I'd told you before, the only way to stop the war for the relics was to make the world forget, and that included what was already well-known about the group. I only have what knowledge I've been able to piece together about them. On their own, they're dangerous enough. That said, there's a threat to this world that's greater than the Red Robes.

"In the bits and pieces I've heard, there's a reason this group fell. The Grand Relics, once word spread of their power, were highly sought after. The Red Robes tried to hide them, but gradually lost each item they'd created. One of them became enraged over their loss, and decided to take matters into her own hands. The destruction of the group was due to this being turning on the rest. She was crazed, determined to recover what they'd lost by any means necessary, even if that meant taking out the rest of the Red Robes.

"The rumors about this being say that she's a warlock to something with power never seen otherwise on this plane, and that she causes destruction wherever she goes as she searches for the Grand Relics. I don't know how much of this is true," the Director adds, turning back to the new Reclaimers. "What I do know, however, is I've encountered someone who matches her description, and she is indeed bent on reclaiming the relics, no matter the cost. She's been named the Black Opal."

"'The Black Opal'? Isn't that a Goosebumps story or something?" Merle frowns.

"I think it's a separate series," Magnus disagrees.

"And it's called the Black Lagoon," Taako adds, snorting. "You know, creatures of?"

"Oh. Is that where the name came from?" Merle blinks.

The Director looks like she's resisting the urge to drag a hand down her face. "No. Black opal is a gemstone," she answers. "I hope you never have to meet her, but if you did, you'd understand why she's been called such."

"Is she made of the stuff or something?" Taako snorts.

"Or something," she confirms, expression grim. "It's impossible to know exactly what that substance is, but that gemstone is the closest description I can give. If you ever run into the Black Opal - and again, I dearly, dearly hope you never do - you must run as fast and far as you can. I don't want to risk losing anyone to her mad destruction."

"I'm sure we could take her," Magnus argues.

"No," the Director says forcefully. "Your direct orders are to run, if you ever see her. That's it. Do not engage, do not try to reason with her. Run."

"Okay, okay," Taako says, waving a hand. "We get it, we see the spooky robe, we run. You talked about a gachapon thing earlier, can we get going?"

She scrutinizes each of them for a long moment before exhaling. "So long as you've truly etched that command into your brains, then yes," she replies, sitting back at her desk. "Davenport will show you how to get there."

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

goodbye