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conductor boy

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he needs enrichment

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more nonsense

[ID: The TAZ Balance characters, as seen in the comics, edited into various memes.

Merle smiling with a Tiktok caption that reads: "I fuck with joy now!! we not supposed to be that sad"

Taako, Magnus, and Merle happily jumping into a pool plus a post by @/ReallyReallyReallyTrying that reads: "me and my buddies are playing "soup fight". that's where we each embody a different vegetable and get in a nice hot tub together. and then we fight"

A tweet thread between Merle and Magnus which reads: Magnus!!! @/TheHammer (Replying to @/ExtremeTeenBible) what is wrong with you 😭😭😭 Merle 🌱 @/ExtremeTeenBible (Replying to @/TheHammer): I will try to be brief (1/713)

Messages between Kravitz and Taako that read: Kravitz: Goodnight darling Taako: smell ya later dude. End ID]

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i want a 10k fic that’s just kravitz chasing barold j bluejeans around for the 10 years before the taz balance arc starts because barry is literally the only one he can actually chase with any sort of success but barry is also a wicked talented wizard and necromancer and always escapes before kravitz can actually catch him (methods of escape include: being crushed by poisonous vines and peacing out in his lich form; yelling ‘look over there!’ and then when kravitz ACTUALLY looks he casts blink and is gone before kravitz knows what’s up; yelling ‘look out!’ and then when kravitz laughs like ‘lol not falling for that’ krav just gets hit by a like, train or something and gets blasted back to the astral plane so barry escapes; literally just barold saying ‘can we PLEASE do this another day i’m too tired’ and then kravitz being so shocked that he just kind of. lets barry go before he realizes what happened; barry actually getting into a huge magical fight with kravitz and you get a super old reaper fighting a super talented necromancer with at least 100 years of practice and it’s honestly a great battle; kravitz trying to grab barry’s soul while he’s still in his human form but lich!barry left a message on the stone of farspeech saying ‘if a super handsome dude in a cloak with beady eyes and looking like he could be pissed about a spell you used to kind of kill his corporeal form once just comes up to you, kill yourself immediately, just trust me’; and other similar sorts of hilarity that leads to barry probably tripling his death count at LEAST)

anyway if you think about this, that awkward little wave that barry gives kravitz in story and song is way more fucking hilarious in this context

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new experimental arc of taz but its set in the balance universe and its just lup barry and kravitz doing dumb reaper shit. swinging their scythes. solvin death crimes. barry getting excited about necromancy with criminals while kravitz frowns audibly in the background

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Official DnD lore: elves don’t sleep

The entire TAZ fandom, furiously sketching fanart of blupjeans and taakitz sleepy cuddling:

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TAZ Balance + The Onion

Magnus:

Merle:

Taako:

Lup:

Barry:

Angus:

Carey/Killian:

Lucretia:

Davenport:

Lucas:

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Something’s been bothering me about what happened in Glamour Springs, so I’ve been doing some thinking.

Sazed used arsenic when he attempted to poison Taako, and from what I understand that’s not an instant death. I don’t even think the symptoms are instant - from what I could find, arsenic could take anywhere from a few hours to a few days to work. It’s possible that Sazed intended to make a dramatic statement by having Taako drop dead on stage - apparently poisoned by his own food - and while that might have been a satisfying moment of revenge, it wouldn’t have been a good plan. That would leave Sazed with forty witnesses and a much higher risk of some kind of investigation. If he opted for a slow or delayed death by arsenic poisoning, it would be easy to pass it off as Taako getting sick. Who would question that? Taako didn’t have any friends or family to wonder what happened to him or wonder if Sazed’s story was true; Sazed then has the option of rebranding the show with his name and riding on its success with much less suspicion.

So it’s reasonable to think that the people of Glamour Springs also did not drop dead, and that the symptoms took a while to take effect. But the minute those symptoms showed up, Taako ran - because his first assumption was that the audience had been poisoned, and poisoned because of a mistake with his magic. That’s an incredible leap - why wasn’t the initial assumption that people were getting sick from the regular version of food poisoning?

I think it has something to do with the way Taako uses magic at that point in his life. When I took piano lessons and I had to memorize a piece to perform I was probably supposed to remember the written music, but I often relied on muscle memory instead. That worked, until I lost my place in the song; it was very hard to recover and continue the piece without at least backtracking. The music was familiar to me, but without that background understanding backing me up, my performance could unravel at any moment. I think that Taako’s transmutation was in a similar state - the underlying knowledge was there, somewhere, but Taako couldn’t get to it. He may have learned some of the basics since losing his memory, but he also possibly had the muscle memory of more advanced magic.

Whatever justification Taako came to for the ability to perform magic above his level, he’s not actually an idiot. He might have sensed that his control was tenuous; there was always the potential for something to go wrong, because if something happened that Taako hadn’t intended, he didn’t have the understanding necessary to recover. It’s possible that he was braced for disaster already. 

So when people started getting sick, of course it was his magic. Of course it was his mistake. It was inevitable. Why would he consider any other possibility? 

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“Barry’s name was originally Sildar Hallwinter” taken very literally. Walk with me.

Sildar Jean Hallwinter. A stuffy name that belonged to great grandpa. “Jean” said all fancylike as in “Jean Valjean”.

Heck it. That’s a mouthful. Parents called him “Darry”. Darry Jean Hallwinter.

Misspelled as “Barry” on his introductory IPRE nametag. It stuck as a joke, then became the only thing people knew him by. Barry Jean Whatshisface.

Haha “Bluejean”. Cause he wears Bluejeans all the time. It’s hilarious.

Barry J. Bluejeans.

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happy balance finale anniversary!!! ive had this monolouge storyboarded for a while and decided to make it into a comic this year! a big thanks to the mcelroys, i dont know where i would be without balance

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I would appreciate Merle's gifts. D8 He tried!

this reminds me

a really long time ago on the discord, i was talking with someone about how likely it was that lucretia kept merle’s gift as a keepsake of their adventures, because of all the group, she’d appreciate it the most

but then there was the likelihood of merle reacting to his own gift in her office, so…

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I like to imagine that there's two bathrooms on the Starblaster, but the only binary they're separated by is "Captain Davenport" and "Not Captain Davenport"

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I discovered Audacity was free and decided to make a TAZ: Balance edit! More information under the cut.

Song: Experience - Ludovico Einaudi

Quotes (in order of which they appear in the audio): “One day I made the decision to… stop championing other people's heroism and to take the direction of my life into my own hands.” - Lunar Interlude III, Rest and Relaxation

“This is just for a little bit, I’m gonna stop this, what we’ve done to this world.” - The Stolen Century 7

“And, I lost dear, dear friends because of that decision, but it was the only one to make.” - Lunar Interlude III, Rest and Relaxation

“I’m gonna find you a place where you can be happy again, it’s just for a little while, and then, you’ll remember, I promise.” - The Stolen Century 7

“Magnus Burnsides” - Here There be Gerblins 1

“T-A-A-K-O” - Here There be Gerblins 1

“Merle Highchurch” - Here There be Gerblins 1

“Barry Bluejeans” - Lunar Interlude V, Reunion Tour 1

“I’m Davenport” - The Stolen Century 7

“Blasted the letters L U P into the wall.” - Lunar Interlude III, Rest and Relaxation

“I pull out the Umbra Staff and I point it at Lucretia” - Story and Song, Finale 1

“You fucking took everything from me” - Story and Song, Finale 1

“Oh shit! Is it today?” - The Stolen Century 6

“It’s today.” - The Stolen Century 6

“I did this one already. I did this world and kind of… crushed it.” - The Stolen Century 1

“I’m begging you, let me finish this and we can talk about it.” - Story and Song, Finale 1

“Are you my friend?” - The Stolen Century 4

“To have friendship, Merle, it requires you to...[sighs] love someone.” - The Stolen Century 4

“Our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives, and with each moment we spend with those people.” - The Stolen Century 5

“I said: I love you, Jules.” -The Eleventh Hour 8

“You are my heart.” - The Stolen Century 6

“I - I love you dad.” - Story and Song, Finale 3

“I love you too, baby.” - Story and Song, Finale 3

“And these things, Merle, friendship and love and happiness, they’re- they’re all so… small.” - The Stolen Century 4

“But I’ve been living a hundred years with me and one year with millions of people.” - The Stolen Century 7

“Honestly; do whatever you want. I don’t care anymore.” - Story and Song, Finale 1

“Everybody else that I ever met, aside from the six of you, were dust.” - The Stolen Century 7

“Dead…got turned into ash.” - Lunar Interlude V, Reunion Tour 1

“They were just talking dust.” - The Stolen Century 7

“I have nothing, and I don’t give a shit. The world is ending, and I. Don't. Care.” - Story and Song, Finale 1

“But the one thing we do have, is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of. And it’s time.” - The Stolen Century 5

“You found her! Maybe not how you expected to, but when you weren’t looking you found her.” - Story and Song, Finale 1

“Who?” - The Stolen Century 7

“I wonder which one would be worse to take from you: the person that you loved or the person that you… hate.” - The Suffering Game 5

“They are beings of pure, concentrated evil.” - The Suffering Game 1

“And they’ve all been evil?” - The Suffering Game 1

“Invariably.” - The Suffering Game 1

“Lup, they don't trust me.” - The Eleventh Hour 9

“The light is a sickeningly powerful energy source. Any items powered by that energy are going to be...devastating.” - The Stolen Century 7

“This is it!” - The Stolen Century 7

“Lup made us promise that we would never again put a world in danger just to thwart The Hunger's plans. And that is exactly, exactly, what we did to this world!” - Story and Song, Finale 1

“Did we make the right decision?” - The Stolen Century 7

“Sometimes there aren’t right decisions. Sometimes there’s just decisions.” - The Stolen Century 7

“Kind of seems like I've got you right here.” - The Stolen Century 4

“And the devastation it wreaks is immeasurable.” - The Stolen Century 7

“What if you didn’t have to worry and you could just cut out the bullshit and do good recklessly?” - The Eleventh Hour 7

“Merle...will you sit with me? Just...just for a moment?” - Story and Song, Finale 3

“...You got it, buddy.” - Story and Song, Finale 3

“And suddenly thousands of bonds are threaded between the three of you.” - Story and Song, Finale 3

“I know we don’t say this enough, but… Thank you.” - The Stolen Century 7

“I saw seven birds: The Twins.” - The Crystal Kingdom 11

“You ready bro?” - The Stolen Century 7

“Hell yeah!” - The Stolen Century 7

“The Lover.” - The Crystal Kingdom 11

“It’s only been twe— Um… Twenty-one years…” - The Stolen Century 3

“The Protector.” - The Crystal Kingdom 7

“Magnus rushes in.” - Story and Song, Finale 3

“The Lonely Journal Keeper.” - The Crystal Kingdom 7

“I’m gonna save us all, I - I promise.” - Story and Song, Finale 1

“The Peacemaker.” - The Crystal Kingdom 7

“I find joy whatever I do.” - The Stolen Century 4

“And The Wordless One.” - The Crystal Kingdom 7

“Have we not… earned a little wrath?” - The Stolen Century 6

“You got all the time in the world, my man.” - The Stolen Century 3

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Re: Lucretia in pink

@ohsweetflips there you go retcon successful

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Febubarry day freaking one brother

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“My name is Barry Bluejeans,” he says, and for some reason, he feels like there’s something missing from their reactions.

“My name is Barry Bluejeans,” he says, because in all the madness of the gerblin attack he must’ve gotten hit on the head. His memory is all scrambled and for a moment his old name, the one he hasn’t used in years, had sat at the tip of his tongue. He shakes his head to clear it, trying to reorder his life in his mind.

“…they are blue jeans,” Merle is saying, and of course they are, doesn’t Merle know that? He thought that was obvious. He is Barry Bluejeans. He wears blue jeans. He pulls them on and slides his feet into his boots. Is he forgetting something?

He reaches out for Magnus’s hand — did they tell him their names? Or maybe Gundran did. Magnus’s grip is strong and sure and he trusts it blindly, pulled up onto his feet, stumbling on shaky legs.

“My name is Barry J. Bluejeans,” he says, desperate, assertive. He know who he is. He does. Does he?

I know it’s a gag but I’ve got some Feelings about Barry constantly repeating his name when he and Tres Horny Boys “meet” in Gerblins.

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every time i relisten to the eleventh hour, i'm just like. oh. right. griffin put a pair of sibling NPCs, of which one is a technically-still-alive skeleton in a cave, into this one. yeah, sure. and for some reason taako is ridiculously adamant that this skeleton isn't alive or sentient despite all evidence to the contrary. like. sure. okay. it's a funny scene. it's a genuinely funny scene. it's one of the best dumb jokes in the arc. someone's dead sibling is just casually hanging out as an undead skeleton in a cave. i feel normal.