#god sorry there’s probably a million typos in this

[ravenalla]

I think overall the main problem season 3 is having is the same as TBOBF, which is not giving the audience a well-established storyline and so not giving them a reason to care. This is probably gonna be long so bear with me.

Throughout the first two seasons, we had a clear goal for our main character. Sure Din did other things all the time, the “side quest” as the fandom liked to joke, but it always made sure to remind us what the motivation behind all of this was, keeping Grogu safe, finding him a Jedi. The story still introduced other characters concepts, but it made sure to always keep Din tied to them in some way that made us understand why this would affect him and why we should care. The side adventures never felt random, they all had a clear step by step progression as Din tried to get closer towards his destination. Moff Gideon was also not just a threat against Grogu, his rule under the Empire was responsible for the destruction of Din’s people. The conflict between them was personal, both because of Din’s newfound love for the baby and because of who he is. It all tied together to give us this intriguing but fun and adventurous story.

On the other hand, stuff in Season 3 just feels like it’s happening at random. It began looking like the main drive this season would be Din trying to regain his identity and the restoration of Mandalore as a whole. Instead, the former was solved in a matter of two episodes with little fanfare compared to how serious they made the situation out to be. No we get pirates both we and the characters have never seen before and have no reason to give two shits about. They’re gone for a while. Then suddenly back as a big threat we are suppose to take seriously for some reason. Din and the rest of the covert do not show any indication they are ready to rally the Mandalorians and take back their planet up to this point. Oh nevermind now they want to. Like there’s no motivation for our main character happening between episodes behind the random monster of the week stuff, nothing the covert is working towards.

Things are just happening out of nowhere, nothing feels like a cohesive narrative and Din isn’t getting any new development or character moments to make up for it. Aside from two things that have nothing to do with the actual Mandalorian, Bo and the New Republic.

Bo-Karan’s story is interesting, and I like her developing a relationship with the covert, but this is not her show. You should not be ending every episode with a shot of her like this has always only been about her journey, at least not here. It’s fine to have more than one main character, but you can do that without throwing away everything you spent two seasons developing with another one. I don’t even know why Din and Grogu are here to be honest. Are they really any different from the background Mandos at this point? Din’s speech was cool, but there’s not really been tight moments of friendship this season for us to get super emotional about him coming to Greef’s rescue from these random Disney channel villains on planet gentrification. It’s obvious now that Bo’s going to be the one to lead, so him showcasing traits of leadership probably also won’t even matter. Din is obsolete, and the heart-wrenching relationship between father and son is now being used for cheap Grogu brownie point moments when they actually remember they have to include them.

As for the New Republic, yes, as people have said this does expand the world and relate to stuff that is going to happen later that we don’t yet know about. The problem is, this is a completely detached event from the main character. Nothing (aside from the random reveal of Moff Gideon’s escape) relates to our main characters situations at all, and it is so clearly ideas from rangers of the new republic shoved in so they can squeeze already established plots they didn’t want to abandon. Because we don’t know why this matters at all towards Din, there’s really no reason to care at this point. Again, you can say there’s plot happening, but it’s all disconnected in a way that doesn’t keep us anticipating any type of ending. And look I’m not saying the show needs to spoon feed its audience or explain everything right away. My problem is everything is that Din is given nothing to do anymore. All of his problems that were built up for two seasons have been solved instantaneously, and we don’t even get many conversations between Din and Grogu as we use to, the driving force of the show. Neither do we get simple explanations for things like where the hell did all the new Mando’s come from or why they decided to settle there. It is both so busy and so empty.

The Mandalorian was never just about finding Grogu a home as quickly as possible, it took the time to show us Din’s personality, his relationship with himself, and the new relationship he formed with his son. So why is the show treating it like none of that stuff was important enough to take up screen time? That Din and Grogu had to take a backseat because showing two former Imperial officers having a meaningless conversation about a planet’s history was more important, that dedicating every emotional beat to Bo-Katan’s changing feelings left no room for exploration of the main character’s own when he is suppose to have been his most changed and isolated self yet, that setting up major plot lines and characters which will bleed into other shows was worth sabotaging what made the show so popular in the first place? The Mandalorian can have a bigger plot, it can have more characters, but when those elements feel like they can exist without that main character being there? That is just bad writing.

[solbaby7]

Jolene

pairing: azriel x reader

warnings: swearing, quick little blurb, angst w/no comfort, probably typos

summary: [ shoutout to Jolene by Dolly Parton for the inspo but me personally? i would’ve shot jolene ]

—

Envy, the killer of joy.

A feeling that turned even the most pure souls into something cruel and corrupt.

Azriel’s usual routine slightly altering to accommodate the newly Made and barely adjusting Archeron sister. At first you’d found it noble; charming—a testament to his morals and obligation to his High Lord and Lady.

But as time passed and Elain slowly got better, Az got more distant. Less talkative and unable to bring himself out of the doting nature he’d slip into when around her. “Az, my hands work. I can put my own cloak on.”

He knew it was a joke. “I know, it’s just that—nevermind.” Still didn’t stop his mouth from pulling into a barely there grimace, hands pulling away as if you’d bit him and the teasing smile you wear falls.

It’s just that, Elain always lets him put hers on and waits patiently as he ties it securely at her neck.

The step you take back is involuntary but the message is sent perfectly clear when your expression turns to stone, painful realization settling in your bones and it takes everything in you not to buckle on the spot. You’d heard stories, about one-sided mating bonds and the pure turmoil that ensued during the time it took for the others to snap but this—the Mother had a sick sense of humor. Leading you believe that Azriel could ever truly love you without it; a fate more cruel than you could’ve wished on your worst enemies. “You know what, I forgot something upstairs. Why don’t you go on ahead without me and I’ll meet up with you shortly.”

He seems hesitant to comply, brows furrowed as he tries to figure out what had changed so suddenly. After a few beats of time he relents, pressing a farewell kiss to your mouth but he’s gone before you can wonder if he felt your lips tremble.

The safety of solitude allows you the comfort to let the tears fall, shoulders shaking as sobs pull from your chest. You weren’t sure how anyone could bare it; watching the one meant for them love another more than they ever did you.

Manicured fingers curl under the constrictive necklace, tugging it off to make room for the heaving breaths you take and a choked cry fills the space when Elain stands before you. “Gods, I’m so sorry,” You stumble trying to catch your footing and embarrassment burns beneath your skin at the true beauty of her. Perfectly put together in pale pinks and pure white lace. Hand sewn jewels are smattered about the bodice of the finest fabrics, accentuating the warmth of her hair and the glow on unblemished skin. “I thought everyone had already left.” Your arms curl around yourself as you make distance between you, pulling away from her outstretched hands as if they were coated in burning flames.

“Are you alright?”

You laugh thickly but there’s no humor in it. “No,” Your heart won’t stop hammering against your chest and knots form in the pit of your stomach. It’s pathetic, your inability to even appear the slightest bit worthy in the presence of your competitor. But, what was the point when she wasn’t even trying and was still so far ahead? “I’ve been thinking about a million different ways you and I would have this conversation and I assure you, this was not in one of those scenarios.” A poor attempt at a joke but even in the midst of such conflicting and all-consuming feelings, you had no interest in being mean—it wasn’t Elain’s fault. “Forgive me for what I’m about to ask you but are you and Azriel—“ The words clog in your throat, refusing to come forward and you have to turn away from her to wipe your tears. “Are you?”

Elain’s brow furrows and you wonder if that doe look in her eye was the first thing Azriel fell for. Such purity and grace. “I don’t understand.”

“Please, don’t make me say it.” Her heart breaks at the agony in your tone, the defeated sag of your shoulders in the beautiful dress that felt less than lovely when touching your skin. Everything felt wrong the longer you looked at her. So many differences—too many for Azriel to possibly love you both without having a preference. “I love him, Elain. With every breath I take, I love him and I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of it but you—“ Mascara trails down your cheeks and the disgust you feel towards yourself is palpable. “The way he is with you, even I don’t know what that’s like.” A deep shuddering breath to prepare you for the answers to your questions. “So, please, just tell me the truth.”

“He’s been helping me adjust,” Her hands fidget before her, obviously uncomfortable and searching for a safety net but the distance you’ve made hasn’t been broken. You haven’t yelled or accused and the longer Elain stared the worse she felt. “I hadn’t considered how that might affect you but nothing ever happened.”

You shift in place, ankles screaming in your heels and you’re distantly reminded that you promised Az you’d only be a few minutes and this was starting to feel like eons had passed standing in the foyer. “Nothing?” Your voice is lifeless, fresh tears welling in your waterline as your hands grip so tight on your arms your nails bite into soft skin. “He says your name in his sleep,” Elain’s breath catches at the confession and you wonder if Azriel had ever wished to pull that sound from her. Possible scenarios of chaste touches and almost kisses flash behind your lids and the turmoil absolutely eats you alive, gnawing at your flesh and grinding at your bones until there was nothing left. “Reasonably so, your beauty is beyond compare,” Your gaze sweeps over the softness of her hair, the delicate point of her ears just barely peeking through. Soft, feminine features with curves where it mattered and none where it didn’t.

Subconsciously, you take another step back, attempting to hide the endless insecurities in the shadows casted by dim lights but the self-hatred doesn’t cease for a second when she calls your name with such pity.

“Do you love him?” You ask meekly, terrified for her answer and you’re certain she can see you trembling. The tears just won’t stop, blurring your vision and preventing you from breathing normally but something inside of you demands to stick around for her answer. “Because, I can understand how you could easily take him but you just don’t know what he means to me.” Your palm rubs at your chest subconsciously, yearning for a comfort that that hadn’t yet been created—not yet fully formed. “Maybe, it would hurt less if you loved him too—really loved him. But if you don’t, Elain please. Please, I beg of you not to take him from me just because you can.”

Elain remains rooted in place, every flawless feature laced with guilt and shame. She reaches out for you, an attempt to comfort but once her smooth hands reach you skin the sobs wrack your body uncontrollably. She’s too good; too kind and sweet, too innocent and fragile to be touching such stained hands.

It made sense. Azriel loving her. He’d always taken a liking to delicate things.

But Elain had a mate. Had a bond that was mutually shared no matter how hard she fought it. She calls your name once more, full of urgency and remorse when trying to console you but there’s no use. The dam has broken with no tools in sight to repair the damage done.

“You could have your choice of men but I will never love again.” Too much time has passed. Someone will come looking; if not for you then certainly for the High Lady’s sister and the realization has you yanking your hands back. There’s no saving your makeup and Elain can’t fight the tears that fall down her own cheeks as she watches you stumble in the heels, bend over to rip them off and cradle them close as you retreat to the staircase. “He’s the only one for me.”

“Please, I am so sorry.”

The sincerity is appreciated but the words don’t register how they should. “I had to have this talk with you,” It’s barely above a whisper, without the fae hearing Elain was sure she would’ve missed it. “—my happiness depends on you and whatever you decide to do, Elain.”

[knottyroseswrites]

What I Don’t Have (is what you are made of) - Notes on the timeline

~this note is spoiler free until the pictures. Then its all spoilers~

Here’s a horrifying insight to my writing process: until chapter 9 I did not have a proper timeline. I’d looked at the maniac tour schedule and was using that as a rough guideline, but other than that we were working on hopes, prayers, and vibes. The even funnier truth is that I didn’t make the timeline until I had the horrifying realisation that someday people were hopefully going to read this and some of them might care if the timeline didn’t make sense. 

Another fun side note is that after the interviews I had pretty much no outline and just ploughed forward with blind ambition trying to get these two idiots to kiss and trusting that they eventually would. I’ve added a picture under the cut of my ‘outline’ if you can even call it that. So yeah. No real timeline, and no real outline, just vibes.

So to make the timeline I opened up the fic doc and took a million notes of every scene I’d written so far. I also noted any time indicators I made in the fic either to a specific date (‘about two weeks later’, ‘I've been here a month now’, ect) and fixed dates (start of the tour, specific locations ect). Then, like the corporate nerd I am, I turned all that information into a spreadsheet, pulled up a calendar, pulled up the maniac tour dates, sent up some prayers to the patron gods of fic writing, and went at it.

To my relief, while it’s a bit creative, the timeline works. I had to push the Oddinary release back a bit from when it happens in real life to make sense with when Y/N started, and I had to change a few of my time indicators in the fic, but other than that I was able to keep all other big fixed dates the same (aka tour dates and maxident release). And honestly I think it makes more sense then it has any right to considering I figured it out after I wrote it. 

I will say that I do play with ‘cannon’ a bit, not all events happen exactly when they did irl, and not everything is the exact same. So consider this like a split in the timeline, this is the universe where Oddinary comes out early and Y/N exists. It’s funny that I feel like I need to say that, it’s a fanfic for fucks sake. But anytime I write ‘canon compliant’ anything I worry some bastard is going to go through my fic with a fine comb and go ‘um actually, that’s not what happened!’. So this is me saying: I KNOW, I made artistic choices to make the best story possible. If you want a pure timeline of events go read a calendar. 

Sorry, probably unlikely you’re one of those people if you’re reading this, I just really needed to say it.

Anyway… back on track. Really this timeline was just more for my peace of mind than anything else. While writing I felt it was mostly important the reader felt the passage of time and the development during it, not exact dates. And I think I achieved that.

But I’m vain and I did all this work so here you go. Screenshots of my insane ass notes and spreadsheet for your reference.

Final notes before the screen shots:

1. Non fixed dates are approximate. Like they can move probably a few days in either direction and be fine. Sometimes I just had to pick something.

2. SPOILERS INCOMING! If you haven’t finished the fic yet, maybe don’t keep scrolling, cus my notes def contain vague spoilers. Or I guess if angst stresses you out and you want to spoil yourself, go for it!

3. As I write this note I have not written the entire epilogue yet, and have some plans to change scenes, so don’t take this as gospel. It’s a picture of a living document. And also internal notes so sorry bout typos!

Image 1: All I had as an outline after the interviews… you’ll notice it’s very different then where we ended up!

Image 2: my illegible first notes of the scenes when I decided to figure out the timeline

Image 3: The master spreadsheet of the timeline

[sunshine-jack]

.

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (One)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack

Word Count: 10.2k (yikes, I know) (I will try to shorten future chapters, ya girl is sorry)

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, puking, reader is a drunk cry baby, reader is kinda embarrassing, jk is kinda jelaous, mentions of sleeping around, reader and jk are pretty affectionate, jk’s thighs are mentioned—that’s like, a warning in itself right?

Notes: hiiiii, the first part is here! Once again, really nervous about this so please go easy on me but mostly, just enjoy! :) also sorry for any typos!!!!

© taestefully-in-luv

Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun is a magical thing. It lights up and warms the Earth, it enhances your mood, it helps plants grow, it literally provides for life. Without the sun, life on Earth would cease to exist. What the sun also does? The sun also shines down on us and lights up the most beautiful things. The sun today, however, is especially highlighting the most beautiful thing. The way the glittering rays gleam through the windows you can see how todays sun focuses on him.

That’s right, you guessed it. Kim Taehyung. His skin is absolutely glowing in the rays, his eyes sparkle in the light that shines down. Yes, Kim Taehyung is an other-worldly being. The way he just stands there and shimmers you can’t help but stare but also like, shy away because his beauty is so god damn blinding. Wait…was this dramatic? This might be dramatic. You’re too far gone to care though. His boxy grin, the way his hair falls into his eyes, the mole on his—

“I just want you to know, you are fucking drooling.” You hear the scoff of the man across from you, Jeon Jungkook, also known as your best friend.

You lazily shake your head as the two of you sit nice and snug in the booths of your favorite coffee shop. It’s one of the colder spring days, the breeze biting at your skin when you were outside but now, you have Jungkook’s scarf wrapped loosely around your neck and hot coffee in your hands.

“I mean, I get it. He’s gorgeous but do you really have to go this far?”

You bring the white mug full of black coffee to your lips. It’s hot and burns the tip of your tongue, but not anything you’re not use to.

“Yes.” You state plainly. You know exactly to what he is referring to. You don’t usually come here at this time, in fact you are usually a creature of habit and come at the same time on the same days… Tuesday and Thursdays in the evening but its Friday and like 1pm. But you knew Kim Taehyung was going to be here when he snapped a picture of the famous white mug with the shops logo on it and posted on his story. You bring your hand up to your forehead, saluting to the sky, “Thank you Snapchat.” So yes, naturally when you saw he was at this coffee shop you hurried to make sure you were too. Maybe it is fucking desperate. Okay it is. But could you blame a girl? He was one of the hottest guys you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

“This is ridiculous,” Jungkook huffs into his own mug, “You could just talk to him…”

Now it was your turn to scoff.

“As fucking if!”

Jungkook smirks into his mug, taking a sip of the burning hot coffee. “That incapable, hmm?”

“It’s not that I’m incapable JK,” You blow on the drink nonchalantly, “I am simply just not worthy.”

“You are so stupid, I swear.” He huffs into his mug again.

“What do you mean?”

Jungkook breathes out slowly, biting his lip as if contemplating what to say.

It’s like, what can he say? He wishes he could tell you a million things that would ease your mind, that could possibly give you the confidence you need or maybe just slap the reality on you that Taehyung doesn’t deserve you. But then he will get asked ‘why’ and he can’t have that.

“What?” you whine into your cup before setting it down.

“You’re really cool and also pretty?” he says quirking a brow in question. Because apparently that’s all he can come up with.

“That’s a question? Also am I dying? You’re complimenting me?” you tease, giving him an exaggerated look of satisfaction.

“I just mean…” Jungkook runs a hand through his messy dark locks, “You have nothing to worry about, ya know?”

Nothing to worry about he says! What does he know? He can literally get any girl—or guy for that matter—that he wants. You dip your head, frowning at the idea.

Jungkook has been your best friend since your freshmen year and there’s nothing you treasure more than his friendship. You bite your lips and tilt your head trying to recall his first presence in your life…oh! That stupid frat party freshmen year…you met at a frat party during your first semester and totally hit it off. Did he try to get into your pants? Okay, yeah maybe. He offered a room just up the stairs that night, but you refused…seemingly too shy. But Jungkook was nothing but understanding. He pat your back and said he knew a better place, and that was the 24 diner down the street. And the rest is history

“Obviously I don’t know and oh my god don’t look but—” You try saying before Jungkook is completely turning his head around to look. Classic Jungkook.

“Oh hey Tae.” Jungkook says in The Kim Taehyungs direction. Taehyung walks up to your table, you thought the sun only highlighted his beauty but up close he is the sun. You knew it was a magical thing.

“Hey guys! “ Taehyung stands there as bright as a fucking light, waving at you and your best friend. Oh yeah, did we forget to mention Jungkook is also friends with said Kim Taehyung? Okay, so maybe talking to Taehyung shouldn’t be that hard, since you share the same fucking friends. And you guys are technically friends too.

“Sup dude.” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly, picking up his coffee mug once again. His long fingers wrapping around the porcelain, warming him up. You watch as Jungkook takes a sip of his beverage with his doe eyes on you, he nods his head towards Taehyung and winks at you as he gulps down the drink. Of course, he’s teasing you.

“Hey y/n!” Taehyungs smile shines so brightly you want to actually kill yourself. What is up with this dude and being so blinding?

“Hey Taehyung…” you gulp your coffee awkwardly, giving him a small wave of the hand.

“y/n I told you to call me Tae!”

“Right…” you chuckle into the coffee creating bubbles of the liquid like the fucking pathetic lil thang you are.

Yeah, talking to The Kim Taehyung is not your specialty. Never was.

2 years ago

Your head is buried in books on the table of your campuses library with Jungkook fast asleep next to you. Statistics shouldn’t be this hard but it fucking is and you are groaning into your book, on the verge of pulling your hair out when a deep voice that rumbles your insides interrupts you—actually fuck it, you don’t feel like getting into a flashback. Just know that you met Taehyung (officially through Jungkook) and he ended up calling you pretty and you’ve thought about it every day since. Because you are pathetic. What’s new?

And that was it, that’s all it took for you to gain a massive crush on the boy.

“What’s up dude?” Jungkook asks again. He is now scrolling through his phone, probably swiping through Tinder, if you have to guess. And you’re right because he’s turning his phone towards you showing you some random girl, his wide eyes asking for your opinion. You roll your eyes and nod your head ‘yes’. As you can guess, this happens quite often.

“Ummm…” Taehyung runs a frustrated hand through his hair, you slowly tilt your head to soak him in when you notice he looks almost…panicked? “I need help with something actually,” but he isn’t looking at Jungkook as he says this, no. He’s looking at you.

“You see that girl at the counter over there? The one with long hair, not the other one.” He nods his head in the general direction while still remaining discreet.

You tilt your head to steal a glance at the counter and yes you do see the girl he is referring to. She’s got long brown hair that reaches her waist and man, she is gorgeous. Big, bright eyes. Full, pouting lips. Long legs and yeah, the works. Taehyung sure knows how to pick them. Did he need help to get her number of something? Like a wing woman? You mean, does he really need the help?

“Yes, I see her.” Is all you say to him and you expect him to ask you to go over there but instead he says,

“Great. I need you to be my girlfriend.”

You blink lazily at him as you process his words while Jungkook chokes on his drink.

“You want her to be your what?” Jungkook is the first to speak.

“My girlfriend.” He says again before his eyes go wide, “Like, like my fake girlfriend.” Taehyung turns a wonderful shade of red before his hand is reaching to scratch the back of his neck, chuckling to himself. “This girl—Anna…she is a bit obsessed? Ya know? Won’t leave me alone type thing and …and I have tried saying I have a girlfriend but she followed me to this coffee shop when she heard I was here. Like, who does that?”

Now it’s your turn to turn red, because you. You would fucking do that.

“That’s horrible Taehy—” you begin to say before Taehyungs large eyes pierce into your own, “Please y/n.”

“Anna???” Jungkook cuts in setting his phone on the table. “Like Anna Anna?” Jungkook squints his eyes at his friend before scoffing. “...She’s not doing it.” his eyes go between Taehyung and this girl Anna. “Don’t involve her in whatever game you—"

“I’ll do it.” You say, even surprising yourself. “I mean, it’s just pretend and for this moment so why not?” you begin to explain yourself. Plus for a few minutes you can pretend you’re really his girlfriend and your delusional mind will thrive off that.

Tae is quick to straighten his back and smile widely before he is ushering you to scoot over in the booth to let him in. “Scoot scoot” he whispers, grinning from ear to ear.

“Tae, you can’t be serious—” Jungkook is quick to say something, anything. His hands scrambling to grab his phone and hands it to Taehyung from across the table. “Here. Call up some other girl to do this. Don’t involve y/n.” Taehyung gives Jungkook a look of panic before Jungkook speaks up again, “Plus, y/n would be the worst fake girlfriend,” And that’s it. That’s all it takes. Jungkook’s constant negativity pisses you off so much that it drives what you say next.

“No need Taehyung.” You snatch Jungkook’s phone and shove it back in his hands. “Why don’t you call up one of your girls yourself and leave us alone?”

Jungkook looks at you shocked, his brows furrowing so deeply you are almost concerned for his face and the wrinkles that might set in.

“y/n…?” his stupid doe eyes look at you with so much confusion.

“I just mean, I can do this Jungkook. Don’t have to be so concerned.”

At that, Taehyung lights up.

“Great!” and his long arm wraps around your waist and when he was sure Anna is looking he leans in to plant a soft kiss to your cheek. “Thanks for doing this…” he whispers in your ear before placing another kiss.

Your eyes meet Jungkook’s shocked ones. He looks like he just saw a ghost, all the color drained from his face as he watches you and Taehyung.

“Uh….” You don’t have any words for Taehyung—or Tae as he likes to be called.

You don’t even have the balls to glance his way, you don’t even have the balls to breathe in his direction.

“Look at me?” Taehyung’s finger is on your chin, guiding it towards his face.

“No…” Jungkook spurts out, “I mean, y/n don’t we have to go?” Jungkook looks at you with a look you’ve never really seen before. Maybe it’s desperation but you don’t really care.

“We don’t actually” you respond nonchalantly.

And with that you turn to face Taehyung more properly. His face is so close to yours it’s almost suffocating.

“What is it…Tae?” you try out his nickname for the first time. His cheeks flush and he scoots back just an inch.

“Thank you for doing this but…” his eyes slide to the side, eyeing Jungkook. “I was thinking we could do this for a couple of weeks, at the least. Ya know, to make it believable.”

Surprising you and Taehyung, Jungkook rises from his seat at the booth,

“y/n let’s go.” He simply states, not even looking at you. Taehyung looks panicked as you look between the boys.

“Tae…” you started to say before Jungkook reaches over the table to grab your wrist, “Come oooooooonnnnn” But you are quick to yank it back.

“Stop Jungkook, you’re being childish.”

Taehyung tightens his hold on you, “Yeah Kookie, sit back down…please.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at Taehyung, giving him a look that screams ‘are you serious?!’

“Childish? Okay.” He gives you a look of disappointment before grabbing his phone and his bag and walking away from the table. You watch in disbelief as Jungkook’s figure disappears from your view. What was up with him?

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s going on with him…”

“Right…” Tae responds quietly, his grip on your waist loosening up. “He’s just really protective over you, huh?” Taehyung bites his lip in contemplation, “y/n. I’m serious, let’s do this. I’ll pay for your coffee for the next month if you do this with me. Please, I am quite literally begging you.” He breathes out through his nose in an attempt to laugh. “She won’t leave me alone otherwise.”

You bite your lip in deep thought, your brows pulled together. Taehyung couldn’t help but find you cute.

“For a month? What happened to a few weeks?” you ask, a playful smirk gracing your features.

Taehyung couldn’t help the grin that made its way on his face.

“1 month.” He breathes out. “Unless you fall in love with me during that time and beg for more time….” He pokes his tongue out, his teasing tone going straight to your lady bits. If only he knew.

“Fine, but we should set some ground rules…don’t you think?”

“Okay. Like what?”

“Oh…I don’t—”

Taehyung raises a brow, “Don’t say something stupid like ‘no kissing’…because we want to make it as realistic as possible, don’t we?” he leans in just a bit more. Without Jungkook around Taehyung seems a bit more confident.

“Oh, you want to kiss me then?”

“It’s just for show. We don’t gotta think too hard about it.” His face inches closer and closer.

“Love…” you say, in a complete daze. Too lost in Taehyungs big brown eyes.

“What about it?” he doesn’t blink, just continues to stare into your eyes.

“We…would if one of us catches feelings? Then we should stop it, right?” You choke out.

Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut as an impossibly cute giggle escapes his lips, “You’re so cute. How many romcoms have you watched to come up with that line?”

“I’m serious.” You push your head back, “This could become hurtful if one of us falls in love…” You say this knowing it’s you. Well, obviously. Just because Taehyung called you pretty 2 years ago doesn’t mean he likes you.

“Okay, sweetheart.” Taehyung gets close again, “I’ll tell you.” And then he leans in, just an inch from your face. His lips hovering over your own and you can see his eyes still on you, like he’s silently asking for permission. You can’t help the nod of your head and you, yourself don’t stop yourself from leaning in.

Taehyungs lips are just as soft as you had always imagined. His lips only peck yours, the kiss is short but sweet. Once he pulls back you see his eyes slide to the counter where that Anna girl stands, and a look of relief washes over his features.

“Thank God, she bought it. She looks pissed,” he laughs loudly, “She saw us and is totally storming out!”

Oh, right. This is all for show.

“Oh, good.”

“Thanks y/n!” Taehyung’s smile is so wide it takes up the entire booth. He goes in for a quick hug, pulling back he smiles again before reaching his hand to pat your head.

“You’re a good girl.” He says and slips out of the booth. Welp, you wish those words didn’t go straight to your vagina.

“Uh, thanks.” You sputter out, not entirely sure what just happened.

“See you later?” he asks then his face lights up, “I’ll bring you a coffee.”

“Well, that is the deal.” You shoot him some pathetic finger guns.

You stare down at your now cold coffee, and look across from you at the now empty booth where Jungkook once sat.

“I’ll text you with more details later!” he shakes his phone in his hand,

“Bye bye…girlfriend.” He finishes off with a wink and skips, yes fucking skips away.

You are left alone at your table, with an empty seat across from you and a cold coffee. And now a fake boyfriend with the guy you have a massive crush on. This couldn’t possibly go all wrong, could it?

~~~

“This is definitely going to go all wrong, you realize that, right? This is a bad idea y/n and you know it.”

Jungkook’s legs are swung over your own as he lays on the couch, his focus on his phone in his hands. He wears his gray puma sweat suit you love so much and smells exactly the same as always—clean laundry and his own musk. You can’t help but eye him over, his dark strands of hair falling into his eyes as he bobbles his head to rid himself of the stray pieces. You aren’t blind, Jungkook is like, crazy hot and sometimes your staring can become a problem.

“Like, ‘we can’t fall in love with each other’” he mocks, “What sort of bullshit? You already in love, aren’t you?” he peeks over his phone to get a look at you waiting for some sort of rejection of his words.

“It’s just a crush, Jungkook.”

“Sure.” His eyes go back to his screen. “You’re pretty dumb for doing this.”

“Did I mention we kissed?”

“Only 100 times now you sicko.” Jungkook rolls his eyes and you can’t help but giggle.

It’s no secret that Jungkook is against this—whatever this is. He always has been…ever since you mentioned it 2 years ago sophomore year.

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?!” you ask in disbelief.

You just confessed your little crush on Taehyung to Jungkook, the two of you sitting across from one another in the library when he rolls his eyes, obviously annoyed.

“Can you not yell? We’re literally in a library. And I don’t feel like getting kicked out this week…again.” He rolls his pen between his fingers as he speaks.

“Okay one: that’s your own fault for getting caught with your hand down some girls pants. And Two: what do you mean ‘no’?”

“Taehyung is off limits for you.” He says, totally unbothered.

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“It means, he’s my friend for one so gross, and also he’s kind of like…emotionally unavailable.”

You chew on your pen, wondering what that could mean. Like, he doesn’t date? He doesn’t ‘do’ relationships? He’s already in love with someone else?

“I’m not telling you.” Jungkook’s pen slides against his paper as he writes, “His life.”

Oh, you asked that out loud.

“Whatever Jungkook, it’s just a crush.”

It feels nice to have a crush on someone other than…

Ding

Your phone goes off and you hurry to check it. What? It could be Taehyung wanting to go over the details of the ‘plan’. But much to your disappointment it was just Jimin.

Jimin 9:42pm

Where are you guys? Party has BEEN started girl

Y/N 9:42pm

We’re about to leave babe, see you soonish

Jimin 9:43pm

You guys fuckin? *smirk face emoji*

Y/N 9:43pm

Did you just…write smirk face emoji instead of putting the emoji itself

Y/N 9:44pm

Also how many times do I have to tell you JK and I aren’t like that

Jimin 9:45pm

Whatevs, see you soon babe xoxo

You set your phone down in your lap, your fingers going to massage Jungkook’s calves as you sneak a glance at him, he closes his eyes in satisfaction as you continue massaging the muscle.

“We gotta get go—also, that’s now what you’re wearing right?”

“Not going tonight. But have fun.” Jungkook sets his phone on his chest, letting out a long breath while folding his arms behind his head. He looks comfortable like, you almost believe him that he’s really staying in.

“Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious.”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N why don’t we just stay in tonight?” He whines, he unfolds his arms and reaches for your hand. “Let’s go buy a 12 pack, get fucked up and just ya know, stay in.” Though this doesn’t sound like a bad idea, it also sounds like every Friday night with the two of you and you want to do something different tonight. But it would take some convincing. You interlock your fingers with his and he melts at your touch, his dopey smile growing.

“It’s a good idea, right?” he says, blinking up at you.

You smile back, tilting your head just the slightest before your smile drops altogether.

“No.”

“Ugh!” Jungkook throws his head back on the sofas armrest, “Why are you like this?”

“You still love me.” You chirp swinging his legs off yours and standing to your feet.

“Now get dressed and I promise that I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the weekend and you can bring whatever poor girl back to the apartment.”

Oh yes, your best friend is also your roommate. You’ve been living together for the last year—it just made the most sense. He was always over at yours or vise versa. So it made the most sense to save money and just room together. It worked out almost perfectly—almost. He paid his half of rent on time, he cleaned the dishes, he did laundry. Wait a minute, what the hell did you offer? That’s beside the point, the best of all he was always there when you needed him. The one downfall…the girls he brought over.

It got so bad that you couldn’t even sleep. You get it, your best friend is obviously…gifted. If the girls whines and moans and screams were any indication. So you had to set some rules for your sanity! For one, the other must always warn the other when bring home a person for the night. And two, its best if the other is already like, not home. Jungkook quickly agreed…something about how he doesn’t want to hear you either.

So, offering to be gone all weekend so he can have as much sex in his bed as he wants is probably going to be convincing enough.

You study Jungkook’s features, his brows pinched together almost comically, and his lips formed into the cutest pout.

“All weekend?” he asks, kicking imaginary rocks with his feet. “Like, no interruptions?”

“No interruptions you absolute whore.”

“Fine, deal.” He looks into your eyes and something flashes across them that you cant pinpoint. “I guess I’ll get dressed…but wait, where will you stay?”

“Probably with Jimin.” You shrug.

“Hm, okay.” Jungkook walks towards his room while lifting his sweatshirt over his head and throwing it behind him, the article of clothing landing on the floor. “And you’re doing laundry.”

“Brat.” You say rolling your eyes but you can’t help but smile.

You don’t take long to get ready yourself, you settle for a casual look tonight…okay, semi-casual, meaning you’re wearing jeans but you are wearing a nice, low cut blouse that shows a generous amount of cleavage. It’s your go to titty shirt. You aren’t really looking to get laid tonight or anything but you do want onlookers to wish you were.

You bounce your knee up and down while sitting on the sofa as you not so patiently wait on your bff, you call out for him but he only yells back that you need to like, chill out. After what feels like forever, the creak of his bedroom door opening can be heard and you quickly stand to your feet to face him.

“Woah.” Is all you manage to say as Jungkook walks out of his room, his cologne filling the air around you. “You look…” you can’t even finish your sentence without Jungkook’s stupid smirk already on his face. His pants are skin tight, the material practically melted on to his thick thighs that are deliciously exposed thanks to rips and holes. His plain white tee is accompanied by a fine leather jacket and his hair is split down the middle, the waves adorning his face. He looks damn good. And you both fucking know it.

“I look?” he teases, walking closer to you. His cologne suffocating your nostrils but you aren’t upset about it.

“You look…fine. You look better than before at least.” You choke out. It’s not that Jungkook is capable of making you nervous but sometimes he has this aura about him…no, you don’t even want to get into it. Those are thoughts you’ve trained yourself to push away.

“Whatever.” His eyes skim over your body shamelessly, “You look fine too.” He winks, walking past you.

“Ready to go?” he calls out over his shoulder. You can’t help but watch his tight ass walk away. Did you really say tight ass? Well it is!

“Yeah, lemme grab my purse and uh, uh we can go. You’re driving.”

~~~

“About fucking time, sluts.”

“Hello to you too, Jiminie.” You crack a smile as your friend goes in for a quick but tight hug.

When Jungkook finally introduced you to all his friends the one you hit it off with the most was good ol’ Jimin. He immediately became one of your closest friends.

“Yo Park.” Jungkook’s eyes are all around the place, not even sparing Jimin a glance. No doubt looking for his girl for the night already. What? It’s a safe assumption.

“Jeon.” Jimin rolls his eyes playfully. “You guys took forever, too busy fucking?”

You hit Jimin’s shoulder with your own, giving him a look that says you’ll scold him later.

“She wishes.” Jungkook finally puts his attention on the two of you, a wide smile growing on his face.

“Shut up.”

“What? It’s true! Oh my god Jimin, you should of seen her face when she saw me walk out in this fit.” Jungkook stands tall, hands grabbing onto the material of his leather jacket,

“She was like “oh my god Jungkook you look so go—” You go to hit his stomach with your fist but thanks to his rock hard abs you only end up hurting yourself. “Fuck! Ow! What’s under your shirt?” you yell over the music.

“Oh baby, you can find out. Should we go upstairs? I know a room.” He says with a wink.

The words ring a bell of familiarity in your head, each syllable echoing softly. A small smile forms on your lips and Jungkook gives you the softest smile in return. Did he just say the same line he used on you 3 years ago when you two met?

3 years ago

The music is booming so loudly you can’t even hear yourself think. This isn’t your first frat party and probably won’t be your last but you just can’t get use to it. You let your dormmate drag you to this stupid party only for her to ditch you in the first 10 minutes. Great.

You weave through the crowd trying to locate the kitchen to get your hands on the strongest drink you can find, lord knows you need it.

The kitchen is just as crowded as the rest of the house unfortunately. So many bodies. Bodies doing shots. Bodies doing shots off other bodies. Bodies playing games. Bodies grinding against other bodies. So many fucking bodies. It is honestly overwhelming. You walk towards the punch bowl, reaching for a red solo cup when another hand bumps into yours.

“Whoops sorry, go ahead.” The hand is attached to this boy—or man? Should you say man? He sure looks like one. He eyes you up and down before smiling down at you.

“Freshmen?” he asks.

You slump your shoulders, “Do I really look that outta place?” you pout.

“It’s not that…I just have a way of knowing.” He laughs. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.”

Namjoon, huh? He is cute that was for sure. “Y/N.” you say placing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Pretty!” he smiles, then his eyes look behind you. “Ay! Jungkook! What did I say?! No more Keg stands!!!!” Then Namjoon’s eyes are back on you, “Sorry Y/N gotta go, gotta take care of this brat.” Then walks past you to this mysterious Jungkook person.

Your eyes follow Namjoon as he rushes to whoever this Jungkook guy is. Namjoon pulls him to the side obviously scolding him for apparently doing too many keg stands. Jungkook looks like a small child who is about to get grounded, and you can’t help but giggle. Unfortunately, this caught Jungkook’s attention. He looks straight at you, his eyes narrowing. Wait a minute. You recognize him! He definitely looks like the same guy from your Lit class on Tuesday and Thursdays. Yup, you get one long good look at him and he is definitely the same heartthrob of a dude from your class. All the girls go crazy for this guy, you mean, you guess you get it. He is really hot. He’s got on a black t shirt and some ripped jeans, and tousled hair.

Jungkook looks at you again with furrowed brows then smirks. Fuck, you were staring. And got caught. You see Jungkook pat Namjoon on the shoulder a few times then walk past him, much to Namjoon’s annoyance.

And he’s walking towards….you. FUCK. In a total panic, you twirl around to face the wall, yes the fucking wall when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“’Scuse me?” a voice says from behind you. You’re not going to play dumb, you know who the voice probably belongs to. You stay facing the wall, like a fucking weirdo.

“Wanna turn around?” his voice is light and teasing and you can’t help the long release of breath before turning to face him. Wow. Up close he’s even more handsome….

“Hi?” you sputter out, completely unaware of how lame and shy you sound.

“Hey, like what you see?” he nods his head in the direction he just came from, clearly amused.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Apparently playing dumb is how you decide to go about this. You stare at him with a blank expression, swaying from side to side. Lucky for you it’s in beat with the music so you look kind of cool. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

“I mean, you kept staring at me so.”

“No, its…it’s not like that”

“Then, what’s it like?”

“I just…I thought I recognized you so…” you wipe your sweaty hands on your black denim skirt. “That’s all.” You finish, still looking at him like you haven’t done anything weird tonight.

“Anderson’s Lit class right?” he asks with a pointed look. “I recognized you too.” His smirk does things to your lower half but you shouldn’t be admitting that right now.

“Oh?” is all you manage to say.

Jungkook studies you for a few moments, his gaze so dark and intimidating and you feel so flushed with his eyes on you. Then he groans with fingers rushing through his messy hair,

“Do you understand this week’s assignment?”

He…he wants to talk about school?

“Yes, I do. Because this assignment is wack as fuck.”

OH. You must of asked that out loud.

“Yes, you did.”

Oh, that too.

“Umm, yeah. What aren’t you understanding?” you finally say something relevant.

“It’s just more like, I think it’s a stupid assignment.” He chuckles, “Oh, you got something—” he reaches his hand forward to your hair, his fingers brushing through your long strands, pulling back with a piece of string. “Got it.” He says with a sly smile.

HOW CHEESY!!!! But like, it still made the heartbeat in your vagina go boom boom.

“Ya know…” he begins, his eyes never leaving yours as he talks. You actually don’t even know what he is talking about but his lips move so quickly you try to follow them. Your eyes on his lips the whole time, you don’t even realize it.

“…and that’s why I think it’s stupid.” He finally finishes with an obnoxious laugh. “Hey—hey are you even listening?” he says, his lips in a pout. You would know because they are all you’ve been staring at.

“Huh?” you blink lazily up at him, “Oh. Yeah. I totally agree.”

Jungkook stares at you seriously for a second before breaking out into a cackle, yes a cackle like he’s some hysterical witch. Which sounds really unattractive but honestly you’re digging it.

“It’s okay, you weren’t listening. I guess I’m not that interesting, huh?”

“No no! You are!” You’re quick to say, your hands waving frantically in front of you.

“Oh? So you do find me interesting?” he smirks, folding his arms across his chest.

You scoff at his words, appreciating his moves on you with a sly smile.

“Are you always this smooth?” you ask, a light teasing tone laced in your voice.

“Oh baby, you can find out. Should we go upstairs? I know a room.” He teases back.

Feeling so at home lost in your memories with Jungkook, you finally break free from the flashback. For some reason that’s a flashback you don’t mind reliving.

“Smooth.” You grin at Jungkook, you can’t help the blush that paints itself on your cheeks.

“For you? Always.” He grins back. You two just stare at one another, basking in the memories of your friendship.

“Okay, enough.” Jimin cuts in, his hands on both yours and Jungkook’s shoulders, “Either actually get a room and finally fuck or get on with your nights.”

You and Jungkook exchange awkward glances before turning towards the living room to join the party. Jimin is left at the houses entrance by the front door, totally dumbfounded. “these two idiots…” he scoffs under his breath, his eyes rolling so far back into his head.

Hours pass and you know what? The party isn’t as lame as you thought it might be. You are lost in the music on the living rooms dance floor with a red solo cup in one hand and your phone in the other.

“y/n!” you hear the call of one of your closest girlfriends.

“Trina!!!” you stumble towards her with a lopsided grin, you reach for her bringing her in for a long hug.

“Woah, someone’s drunk.” She laughs her loud laugh that you love so much. “And damn, the titty shirt is out tonight? Nice.”

“Not drunk” you giggle, and then continue to giggle again for no apparent reason.

“Right…” Trina slaps your back enthusiastically, “Where’s…” she then lowers her voice with a smirk, “lover boy?”

“who? Jungkook?” you ask with the tilt of your head.

Trina’s head pushes back with a confused expression, “What? No! I’m talking about…” she lowers her voice again, “Taehyung!”

OH. Right. You had texted Trina as soon as the whole ordeal with Taehyung unraveled. She knows of your long time crush and totally supports the idea of fake dating because as she puts it:

“Girl! This is your chance! Show him what a great girlfriend you would be, he would totally fall in love with you for real for real.”

And you have to say, you like where her head is at. Complete opposite of what Jungkook is always saying.

“Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t see him around.” You sway side to side, your lit up phone catching your attention.

Jungkook 1:22am

Don’t come home tonight ;)

You can’t help but roll your eyes. How is he so quick?

Y/N 1:23am

Alreadyasydy tslked 2 Jiminie, staying w hum toniteeee.

Jungkook 1:24am

y/n…you’re not too drunk right?

Jungkook 1:27am

y/n????

You are back to shaking your ass with Trina by your side, the bass of the music thumping so loudly you can feel it vibrate your whole body. Body after body pushes into you, causing you to stumble every few seconds. But your grip on your refilled solo cup doesn’t loosen, not as you chug back your drink.

“Gonna grab another!” you slur, nodding your head towards the kitchen. Trina only gives you a thumbs up as she continues to dance with some random girl.

The walk to the kitchen feels like it’s taking forever, the way the walls swirl around you makes you feel sick. You stagger through the kitchens walk way when you feel two arms wrap around your middle.

“My girlfriend!” You hear the slur of words in your right ear, loud and clear.

You turn in the man’s hold with squinted eyes,

“Oh hi Tae.” You giggle, encasing him in a hug. Drunk y/n is way more confident. For some reason seeing him like this you don’t feel as nervous or awkward. Then you feel it. The weird, uncomfortable pang in your chest. Why is that? You look up at Taehyung when the sensation of guilt begins to surface. You remind yourself of the mission you’re on, completely ignoring the inner truth that tries to bubble over and smile at him.

Taehyung looks down at you with a goofy grin, his fingers digging into your waist to keep you steady.

“Oh, you’re drunk drunk.” He teases.

“Am not!” you shake away your confusing thoughts and giggle some more. “wanna take a shot with me?” you excitedly ask him, nodding in the direction of the liquor bottles.

“Hell yeah girl!” he says, taking your hand and leading you towards the counter.

“Y/N are you okay????” Taehyung voice is laced in concern as he holds you. Yes, the Kim Taehyung is holding you. “Shit, I shouldn’t have let you drink this much….” But like in a totally pathetic way.

“You…” you lean back, hitting his chest with your pointer finger, “Don’t tell me how much I can or can’t drink!” your voice buzzes as you fall forward but Taehyung catches you again.

“Right right…” he chuckles but then he looks concerned again. “We need to get you home…let’s call Jungkook.”

“No! we caaaannnnoottt do that…” your words are all jumbled together, Taehyung has a hard time understanding you.

“Where’s your phone?”

“Back pocket.” You wink. Like a fucking sleaze.

Taehyung looks conflicted, but in the end he reaches around for your phone and turns it on.

“Holy shit y/n… you have 8 missed calls from Jungkook. And whole lotta texts.”

Jungkook 1:30am

Are you okay??

Jungkook 1:40am

y/n…Youre a big girl so ill just assume youre okay.

Jungkook 3:02am

Just talked to jimin and you aren’t with him?? where are u??

Jungkook 3:18am

Answer your fukin phone

Jungkook 3:23am

Are you still at the party?

Jungkook 3:41am

You aren’t with Trina either? y/n where are you?

Jungkook 4:00am

Don’t make me go back there….pls just answer your phone so I know if youre like, idk fucking alive

Jungkook 4:10am

Fine im going to look for you

“Fuck.” Taehyung hisses under his breath. “I gotta call him…I’m gonna call him okay?”

Your eyes go comically wide at Taehyungs words.

“No!”

“too late” he says, the phone to his hear.

“Hey man, no its me…Taehyung, yeah…yeah….she….” Taehyung eyes you carefully as he speaks on the phone, “She’s fine. She just has had maybe too much to dri—” Taehyung drags a hand down his tired face, “No for fucks sake I didn’t do anything to her. Really dude?”

You lean into Taehyungs space, trying to put your ear to the phone as well and Taehyung can’t help but laugh.

“I read all your texts to be honest…if you have a girl over…what? No, I’m saying y/n can just stay with me…”

Stay with Taehyung? That should make your heart race but—

You think all the alcohol is catching up to you at once and the world becomes even more blurred and a spinning mess. You would give anything to be cuddled up in your blankets with Jungkook taking care of you—wait, no. You don’t need Jungkook to take care of you. You have a perfectly good Taehyung who just offered his place to you.

“I swear man, I’ll take care of h—” Taehyung rolls his eyes, “she might be too drunk to talk….okay, I’ll ask her.” Taehyung lowers the phone and faces you.

“y/n.”

“Hm?” you blink lazily, swaying into Taehyungs chest. Oh no. You feel it, you feel the nausea building up in your tummy, making its way up your chest. On a scale of 1 to 10 how dead would you die if you threw up on Taehyung?

“Do you want Jungkook to come pick you up?”

Jungkook? Like, your Jungkook? Unfortunately for you, your eyes gloss over and probably also unfortunate for Taehyung as well as he looks at you with an alarmed expression . You feel sick. You want to go home. You want to sit on your bathroom floor and throw up in the toilet with Jungkook sitting next to you while he hums a soft tune to soothe you.

“Y-Yes.” You murmur shyly, you begin to sniffle and Taehyung begins to panic.

“Okay man yeah come pick her up.”

“want Jungkook…” you say as a few tears spill over. You are trying your hardest to keep the puke down but its threatening to exit your poor drunk body.

“I think she’s gonna be sick so please hurry…” Taehyung rushes to say over the phone before hanging up.

The next few minutes are a blur, you know Taehyung rushes you to the bathroom. He is overly sweet the whole time you see nothing but blurred, spinning images. He holds your hair back as your body threatens to release tonight’s dinner and says comforting words but nothing makes you feel better. The puke won’t make its guest appearance and your whole world is spinning at a inhumane pace. You’re about to give up on life and fall to the bathroom floor of this gross frat house and try to sleep when you hear him.

“Lemme in dude.” It’s Jungkook. You stir from your sleepy state and turn your head towards the door. He barges in, his eyes landing on you and they soften. He immediately falls to the floor to caress the back of your head and you immediately begin to sob. The tears are out of your control as they slide down your cheeks.

“Don’t...don’t...feel good.” You say between wails, gripping desperately onto his shirt.

“I know baby, I know.” He pulls you into his chest, his hand soothingly running up and down your back. “Has she thrown up yet?” Jungkook looks up at Taehyung with expectant eyes. Taehyung is so caught off guard while watching the two of you.

“uh, no.”

“Okay, can you leave us alone for a while?” Jungkook says somewhat harshly then his features soften as he whispers “She will probably be embarrassed later if you saw…”

“Right.” Taehyung says, his worried expression not going unnoticed by Jungkook. Then Taehyung is on his way out, but he turns one last time to get a look at you.

“feel better y/n” then he is out the door, shutting it behind him.

“Okay y/n…remember what you gotta do?”

“finger?” you slur.

“Yup. Put your finger…yes like that,” he says as you begin to push your finger down your throat to get yourself to throw up.

“I promise you’ll feel better.”

You begin gagging on your finger as you finally throw up in the toilet, Jungkook rubbing your back the entire time giving you words of encouragement.

“Good girl, good girl.” He whispers.

Your face is a fucking mess. Your makeup smeared beyond belief. The black streaks from your tears marking your cheeks in the most horrific way. Jungkook watches you as you cry into his lap on the floor, his heart breaking at the sight. He hated when you drank too much and got like this. He should of never left you alone tonight.

“Jungkook?” you choke out, your tears still spilling from your dark eyes.

“Hm?” he responds, his fingers brushing back your hair.

“Did I ruin your night? Or did you still get some?” you chuckle pathetically.

“Don’t worry about that.” He brushes more hair out of your face, he lifts your head up and places it on a towel. He stands to his feet at the sink, reaching for a towelette and running it under warm water.

“Gonna clean your face okay?” he warns softly.

“kay…” you close your eyes when you feel the wet warmth of the towelette on your cheek. Jungkook is careful to clean you delicately, wiping away the makeup and leaving you spotless.

He’s back under you, your head in his lap and his hands back in your hair.

“you told me you were going to be with Jimin tonight yet you were with Taehyung…”

“It just happened like that” you whisper, sleep beginning to take over.

“I was…really worried about you when I didn’t hear from you, stupid.”

You smile at his words, his touch making you melt.

“Ya know, you’re not the only one allowed to get some Jungkook. I can be like you and have sex too if I want.”

“What are you talking about?” his hand stops in your hair.

“Would if I was getting some? That’s why I didn’t answer?”

“Were you?” his voice is low.

“Well, no—”

“Okay good.”

“Why is that good? Hm?” you open your eyes just a little bit, taking in the hazy world. “Wish it was you I was getting it on with?” you say quietly.

“You’re drunk.”

“I wanna go home.”

“take a nap first, okay?” his fingers begin playing in your hair again, “I’ll wake you up in 30 minutes.”

Your eyes are already closed when he says this, sleep already welcoming you in its warm embrace. “Kay” you murmur.

Jungkook plays with your hair as you snooze in his lap, he watches the rise and fall of your chest and wonders what it would be like to lay his head on it and sleep too.

Bbrrrr bbbrrrrr bbrrrr brrrrrr

A phone call. The most horrifying buzzing occurs next to your face as you sleep peacefully in your bed. Wait, how did you get home last night? You remember drinking and dancing the night away, you remember hanging out with Taehyung…oh no, you remember Jungkook coming to the rescue. Oh no...

You try to open your eyes, but the light from the sun is too damn blinding. You squint at what is in view. Right in front of you, you see black locks of hair poking out of the blanket, a dark blue blanket. You recognize this blanket. Jungkook’s blanket. You are in Jungkook’s bed. With Jungkook. This isn’t so surprising, you imagine you had refused to sleep in your own bed last night—

Bbbrrrr bbbrrrr brrrr brrrrr

Right. Your phone.

You fumble the phone trying to pick it up and answer it when Jungkook groans next to you,

“Hurry up and answer it” he says, sliding deeper under the covers.

“Hello?” you croak out, your voice hoarse and honestly? Disgusting.

“Hey y/n!” This voice is way too damn chipper for whatever ungodly hour it is.

“Tae?”

“Good afternoon sleepy head! Did I wake you?” Afternoon? What time is it? You pull the phone away from your face to check the time.

2:06pm

Holy shit, you’ve slept the day away.

“No no,” you lie, “Just in bed…” you say sitting up from where you lay.

“Great! Do you think maybe I could…come over? We can discuss the whole fake dating thing.” He chuckles into the phone. COME OVER? Immediately you begin smoothing down your hair with your free hand and start to peel back the covers to get out of bed.

“Umm, when?” you glance over at sleeping Jungkook, his face mostly hidden behind the blanket.

“Maybe around 6? I could cook you dinner? I know you had a rough night…”

Fucking great. You don’t want to think of last night, you will die of fucking embarrassment.

“yeah…listen, you don’t have to do all that—”

“I want to!” Taehyung is quick to cut you off, “As your boyfriend—fake boyfriend it is my duty to take care of you!” you feel like you can see the boxy smile on his face. It makes you motherfucking swoon.

“Okay then, 6.” You smile into the phone. “Bye tae.”

You bring the phone down into your lap, clicking the end button. Dinner with Taehyung? Like a date? You can’t help but feel internally giddy at the thought. You squeal for a second before Jungkook speaks up.

“What’s at 6?” he peeks from under the covers, his voice husky and groggy.

“Oh… nothing” you sing, a bright smile on your face.

“Something with Tae?” he begins to sit himself up as well.

“We’re just going to have dinner and talk about the whole fake dating thing.” You beam.

“You’re still doing that shit?”

Automatically you go from super excited to annoyed. Only Jungkook can do that to you.

“It’s harmless, Jungkook. Plus…”

“plus what?” he raises a single brow.

“Trina says this is a good opportunity…”

“y/n I have told you not to get too involved with this guy, but you don’t listen to me.” Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest, then bows his head down in defeat.

“But whatever, learn your fucking lessons by yourself.”

You can’t help but feel like Jungkook is once again looking down at you, like you aren’t good enough for Taehyung. Your breaths become unsteady as you just stare at your best friend like he isn’t constantly hurting your feelings on the matter.

“I—I will be fine. I want him, Jungkook. And this is—this is a good opportunity to show him I can be a good enough girlfriend ya know—”

“Just stop.” Jungkook cuts you off in a harsh tone. “I never said you weren’t good enough? You’re just not what he wants.” Jungkook can see how his words break you further. “Fuck. Forget I said that, y/n…”

“Why can’t he want me?”

Jungkook hates just how quietly you ask that…he hates how defeated you sound, how defeated you look…your head hanging low with no attempt to even look at him.

“He’s just…”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t answer that” You stand from the bed and begin walking towards his door. You look down to see you’re wearing nothing but Jungkook’s t shirt and some panties, you groan at your own shamelessness when you hear the rushed ruffling of the comforter behind you and the plop of feet landing on the ground. Jungkook stands behind you, his fingers wrapped around your wrist.

“Just move on y/n…”

I’m fucking trying to, is what you want to say but instead you opt for a harsh ‘leave me alone’ as you exit his room.

You spend the next couple of hours pampering yourself, you had a rough night and you totally deserve a piece of cake, this bubble bath and face mask. You want to feel relaxed but you can’t get the image of Jungkook out of your head. You hate it when the two of you fight. You mean, to others this would hardly come off as a ‘fight’ but you and Jungkook never really have negative energy. So, yes. It’s a fight. He’s the last person in the world you want to fight with. Yet here you are.

But then the image of Taehyung cooking you dinner enters your mind and somehow you feel a little more at ease. Was this a date? You giggle to yourself, blowing bubbles that reaches your lips as you sink deeper into the tub. You have an hour before Taehyung was to arrive at your apartment…your shared apartment. God, you hope Jungkook takes a hint and goes and hangs out with Jimin or something.

You finally rise from the tub and dry off your now freshly cleansed body. The scent of lavender fills the air and you feel satisfied with how your bath turned out.

You read the clock…5:30pm and you know it’s time to get dressed.

You settle for some high waisted shorts and a white tank top with a purple bralette where the straps are generously shown. Looking into the mirror, you decide to do light makeup and tinted lip balm. You don’t want to try too hard for the boy you’re trying to woo.

And bam. 6pm right on the dot you hear the door being lightly knocked. You begin walking towards the front door but stop to see if Jungkook is in his room or not. He’s not. Relief washes over you as you continue to walk towards the front door. But where did he go? You’re relieved he isn’t home but feel anxious that you don’t know where he could have gone. Maybe to Jimin’s? Maybe to some random girls? Somehow this makes you feel more anxious. You shake away those thoughts and swing the front door open.

“Hey there.” Taehyungs boxy grin is enough to get you pregnant. Like, god damn. He looks amazing. He’s got dress pants and some floral shirt and his hair looks slightly wet. That’s not the only thing slightly wet. You internally cringe at your thought.

“Hey Tae, come on in.” you open the door wider to let the boy through. He walks past you and makes himself comfortable in the kitchen, setting down a bag of what you assume is probably groceries.

“You like spaghetti?” he asks excitedly, almost like a child.

“Who doesn’t?” you smirk walking his way and sitting down at the breakfast table. “Need any help?” you offer.

“Not at all.” Taehyung begins unpacking his things and gets to work in the kitchen. You watch in awe, your head nuzzled in your hands as he does his thing.

“Dinner was amazing Tae.” You go to compliment the chef. It really was. The noodles were long and soft and the sauce was very flavorful. Did you really just compliment the length and softness of fucking noodles? Wow, you are whipped. You almost wish Taehyung was your roommate and not useless in the kitchen Jungkook. Oh. Jungkook. The thought of him enters your mind and it has you hurting. You may be having a blast with your crush but you and your best friend are still in the middle of a fight. About said crush. But this really is your chance. You can get Taehyung to like you, maybe even fall for you. And you need this. You need this. So you can’t give up, no matter what Jungkook says.

“Not as amazing as you” Taehyung winks but then his face drops, “Sorry that was cheesy, wasn’t it?” he drags a hand down his handsome face. “I suck at flirting.”

You look up at him, completely intrigued.

“You’re trying to flirt with me?” you can’t help but to smile slyly.

“Of course I am!” Taehyung laughs loudly then reaches for his backpack in the chair next to his and pulls out a notebook.

“So I wrote some ideas for this whole fake dating thing.” He becomes just a tad more serious as a nervous grin lights up his face.

“Oh really? Should I have a look?” you say reaching for the notebook with grabby hands, “Gimme!”

Taehyung chuckles while pulling the notebook to his chest, “No! Miss Greedy.” He teases. “How about I just read them and we can discuss?”

“fine.” You pout, “Whatever you say.”

“Whatever I say? I like the sound of that.” He smirks then his eyes fall to the paper in front of him. “First, we should go on dates…like all the time. The more time we spend together the more believable it’ll be. Ya know?”

“Okay, makes sense. Makes sense.”

“Second, we should attend all parties together and leave together too.” Then his eyes go wide, “I just mean—like don’t worry, I’ll make sure I get you home.”

You can’t help but giggle, nodding your head to his words.

“Third, we should post each other on social media! For example, I can take a picture of tonight’s date and post it on the gram.”

“Tonight was a date?” you ask, a delighted smile making its way on your face.

“Well, yeah…” he answers shyly.

“anything else?” you question, leaning your head in your hands as you look into his big brown eyes.

“Well….. there is one more thing I wrote down….” He answers awkwardly. His eyes sliding to the side to avert your gaze.

“oh? What is it?” you try to take a peek at the paper, curiosity getting the best of you—as usual.

“I’ll just let you read it…” he then pushes the notebook on the table in your direction, you excitedly pick it up and skim the paper. You look at all the things he wrote down, smiling because he even added his own tips.

Buy her flowers.

Movie dates?

Netflix and chill

Cook her dinner

How cute. He even added little doodles. Your eyes continue to skim the page as your smile grows at how much thought he has put into this. Your heart is beating out of your chest…you know this is all fake and for show but you cannot help how happy its making you feel. You continue to smile and hum as your eyes skim lower and lower until you see the last thing on his list.

No Jungkook.

Huh? Your smile begins to falter. No Jungkook? What does that even mean? You look up to meet Taehyungs eyes. He’s already anxiously staring at you.

“I don’t understand?” you breathe out, “What does that mean?”

“No Jungkook.” He half whispers.

“You—you realize he is my best friend? Why no Jungkook?” you pinch your brows together in confusion.

“It’s just…” Taehyung begins to explain himself, “You two are awfully close. And people already get the wrong idea about you two. Like, all the fucking time. Even I think sometimes…that’s not important. It just means for one month, you’re mine. And I don’t want people to get the wrong idea if you’re always with Jungkook.” He pulls at the hair at his neck. “Is this making sense?” Taehyung looks flustered trying to get out all of his words.

“It would make me look pathetic don’t you think? That my supposed girlfriend is always with some other guy? I mean, y/n it’s just for one month…”

One month without Jungkook? Would you really choose a boy over your best friend? Even if only for a month?

“Tae… I don’t know.” You look down at your hands as your breathing begins to pick up.

“I can’t just abandon my best friend for an entire month…”

“I mean, you guys live together so it’s not like you won’t be seeing him. Just in public…ya know?”

Taehyung has a point, you try to reason. If you have a boyfriend it’s only natural to spend most of your time with them. But it still felt wrong. But… a part of you feels like this is a good idea, actually. You’ve always been meaning to put at least some distance between you and Jungkook, ya know, for your own sake. But this feels wrong. You’re about to decline his request when you hear the front door open and Jungkook’s shuffles in. He has his airpods in and doesn’t even spare you a glance. He walks straight to his bedroom and slams the door shut.

You feel embarrassed in front of your guest that your roommate and also yeah, your best fucking friend didn’t even acknowledge you.

“Uh, he’s in a mood” you try covering for Jungkook. Then you feel the buzz of your phone and you go to check it

Jungkook 8:02pm

Watching you fawn over him is just pathetic, but like, good luck.

All you see is red. Jungkook once again shitting on your love life and raining on your god damn parade. You know what? This is your chance with Taehyung and you aren’t going to let your bratty best friend ruin that for you.

“You know what, Tae?” you say setting your phone on the table.

“Yeah?”

“You’re right. I agree with your list.”

“Wait—you do? Even the Jung—”

“Yup.”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side as a wide grin makes its way across his face, “should we shake on it?” he asks with his hand pushed out in front of you.

You take his hand in yours, squeezing tightly before you pull him in and seal the deal with a quick kiss. Taehyung’s shocked expression makes you giggle, “Thought that would make it more official”

“I like having you as a girlfriend already.”

One month without Jungkook? Bring it on.

[roonyxx]

Invisible: Part 4

Summary: Still cooped up in her room, she only wants to see one person.

Warnings: angst, language, low-self esteem, fluff, history crap and time (lol doesn’t make any sense now does it? hehehe)

Pairing: Y/n, Castiel, Dean, Sam

Wordcount: 1274

A/N: OKAY, so this story is taking a life of it’s own and I have like zero idea what I am doing so this chapter, I love it and hate it lol. All typos are my bad woops (it are finals, give me a break lol) I hope y’all enjoy!

My Masterlist

Invisible Masterlist

You were curled up in your bed, blanket pulled up until under your eyes when you heard the knock.

You didn’t say anything but with a click your door was unlocked, you frowned and wanted to scream at whoever entered until you saw two blue eyes.

“Cas…” You sat up in bed and when he sat on the side of it and opened his arms you fell right into them.

He wrapped his arms around you, he moved to sit with his back against the headboard with you snuggled into his side.

You sighed deep. “Did Dean call you?”

“He did”

You sniffed again, feeling the tears well up at just the mention of his name.

“So you know what happened?”

“I know he knows how you feel about him and that he is very sorry.”

“Yeah, it’s not his fault, I shouldn’t be as hurt as I am over something I knew for years.”

Cas rubbed his hand over your back.

“I just… I had this iny tiny flicker of hope that maybe deep down he felt the same you know… but yeah, he doesn’t.” You scoffed and wiped at your eyes. “God why am I even crying? Love never works out for me… I should stop whining about it and get used to it.”

“You’ll find someone.”

“Yeah.” I don’t want someone, I want him.

You detangled yourself from him. “You don’t have to listen to me whine, I’m sure you have more important stuff to do.”

Cas tilted his head at you. “You are important.”

You chuckled, “More important than heaven?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you so kind to me?”

“Because you are my friend and I care deeply about you.”

You laid back down next to him, shoulders touching.

You chuckled remembering the first time you met.

“I never apologized to you.”

Cas frowned, “For what?”

“For when we first met, I tried to stab you.”

“Oh that, it’s fine, happens all the time.” He smiled at you and you looked into his eyes, staring a bit longer than what was considered normal.

You always shared a deep bond with Cas, he was a good friend and understood you better than anyone, you loved how he could be so smart and oblivious at the same time. How he could be all sweet and cute the one second and be totally terrifying the next. You often forgot he was an actual angel, how powerful he really was.

“Can you tell me one of your stories again?”

Cas chuckled, “I can, pick a time.”

“Uhhm what about, 1920! The roaring twenties!”

“Hm yes, it was as you probably know, a social and cultural peak in human history.”

“Yes. Is it true it was all about partying like in the Great Gatsby?”

“Partly yes, economic was at his height and people could afford more. But the patriotism of World War I also started back then.”

“Oh yeah, the war, must have been some busy years for heaven.”

“In a way it was.”

“Where were you back then?”

He looked up in thought. “I was here on earth, observing.”

“Just observing? You didn’t try to stop it?”

Cas shook his head. “No, we are under no circumstance allowed to interfere with big events, World War I is a fixed point in time.”

You frowned, “Fixed point in time?”

“Like you have to imagine time as a piece of thread, and it is pinned on a wall by thumbtacks, these fixed points are the thumbtacks and prevent them from falling off the wall. Any interference with a fixed point could make it possible for a time line to fall off and cease to exist.”

“Oh so if you would have helped in the war, this world wouldn’t exist anymore?”

“Time is something very complicated, I can’t begin to explain it, but in a way yes.”

You and Cas did this often, you asked for one of his stories if you wanted to get your mind off of something, he had a lived a million lives so he had endless stories. He had so much knowledge and he had gone through so much it amazed you.

“It must have been hard to observe all the pain in the world and not be allowed to do something about it.”

“Back then it was very easy, I didn’t see pain or sadness, I just saw what I had to do. I had much knowledge about everything, but nothing about human emotion. If I should do it again now, I don’t think I would be able too.”

“No?”

“No, ever since I have been human, I understand emotions and feel them, not as intense but I do feel.”

You patted his chest. “Yeah, you did have quite the character development.” You chuckled.

“I did, most because of you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you make me look different at things, try to see the beauty in a flower instead of just looking at the molecules in it, you make me want to enjoy the little things in life, you make me more human.”

You blushed at his words. “Why want to be human, it totally sucks!” You joked at him.

“There is an awful lot of pain yes, but there is also happiness, the amazing taste of food, love, passion, sex, all things humans explore.”

“Yeah well not all humans get love, passion and sex…”

“Y/n…”

“Yeah I know, I’m sorry, just ignore my whining.”

Tears were welling up in your eyes again.

“You are not whining, you are hurt, it’s okay.”

You scoffed through your tears. “Guess your grace can’t fix a broken heart?”

“Sadly no, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not Y/n, you don’t deserve this, you deserve to be loved.”

You put your head against his shoulder, “Do I?”

He frowned deep, he moved his hand to your face so he could look into your eyes.

“You do, don’t ever think you don’t deserve love.”

“I just” a sob broke through your chest, “I want him so bad it hurts Cas, I just want to be with him, every time I see him I fall in love all over again, how am I supposed to get over that?”

“Give it time, time heals everything and I will be here every second of the way.”

You clung to him.

“Thank you.”

He moved to look into your eyes again. “Dean is extremely sorry.”

“Of course he is, that man lives on guilt, I should apologize to him…”

“You don’t have to, it is not your fault you love him, you can’t help it.”

“Yeah and Dean can’t blame himself for not loving me back. I just… I wished he did, I wished so damn much he did.”

Cas wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back and stroking your hair.

“This feeling, it will pass Y/n.”

“I don’t think it will Cas, I love him so much… and I just lost him, forever, I feel like he died.”

“I’m so sorry Y/n.”

You sat up again, sitting cross-legged toward Castiel.

“Can you stay here with me today? I feel like drowning and you are my life vest, but if you have more important stuff to do, it’s okay.”

“Nothing is more important to me than you, yes I will stay with you.” He gave you a kind smile.

“Thank you Cas.”

You laid back next to him and asked him to tell you another story.

Cas gladly obliged, he wrapped you into his arms again and enjoyed the feeling you gave him whenever you were close, it gave him a weird sensation in his stomach he quite didn’t understood.

[bqstqnbruin]

Priceless

Ok so here I am somehow with a second fic in a matter of, what, two ish days? Anyway, this is one that I wrote and posted last year but I reread it and it sucked so I took it down and rewrote it. Hope you like it!

Word count: 5.5k

Warnings: none? swearing? Typos for sure.

_______________

You loved him with your whole heart; there was nothing that you wouldn’t do for him, and you knew that he felt the same about you. At least, that’s what you used to believe.

Ever the one for dramatics, a three am alarm was what made you question not only your whole relationship but your whole existence. The witching hour was an ungodly time to be waking up and getting ready, no matter what the reason was. Even when it involved flying off to Europe for a destination wedding that involved Jake’s entire team.

“Babe?” you call to him, the shower just turning off. He pokes his head out, hair wet, droplets of water rolling down his face as he waited for you to answer, “We’re going to have time to stop at a Dunkin’, right?” you whine, doing everything in your power to not pass out then and there instead of finishing your packing.

“Maybe?” he says, ducking back into the bathroom before coming out with just a towel on, hanging on his waist. If you weren’t so exhausted, the things you could be doing right now, your mind wanders as he continues talking, “We have to get through TSA and I don’t think they would allow you to bring that through security, would they?”

“Fucking hell,” you mutter to yourself, throwing the last of what you needed into your suitcase, trying to find anything of Jake’s lying around that you knew he would forget. “What if I finish it in the car before we go through security?” you beg, hoping he’ll cave.

“Y/N,” he sings, “then you’re going to have to use the bathroom a million times and it’s going to be my fault.”

“Do I have to be pleasant before I get coffee in me?”

You hear him laugh from the bathroom as you lean back on the bed and close your eyes. “You wouldn’t be you if you were pleasant before your coffee, babe.” You do everything in your power to try to stay awake while he gets ready, him saying random things as he runs around getting dressed, you murmuring weak responses in return. “Hey, come on, sleepyhead,” he says, pulling you off the bed, “We’ve gotta get to Logan.”

You drive there in silence, praying for the moment you get coffee in you as you still struggle to stay awake while Jake keeps talking. The car stops, Jake pulling down the window when you finally open your eyes, seeing that you were sitting in the drive-thru line at Dunkin. “God, I love you,” you say, leaning over and kissing his cheek, a smile covering his face.

“Who’s paying, you or me?” he asks, not letting you answer due to the voice of the cashier inside coming through the speaker to take your order. Two small coffees, enough to hold you over for the drive to the airport before you get more coffee once you’re through the gate. He looks at you as you stare down at your phone, having to check your bank account to see if you even had the money to begin with. “I’ll pay for both,” he says, a calm tone covering her voice.

Money for you was tight. You had never really struggled to pay your bills and your share of the utilities, but you definitely didn’t have the amount of extra cash that Jake did because of the seemingly never-ending student loan payments you were making. “I’m sorry,” you say, taking the coffee from him so he can get to driving again. You hated having the money conversation; no matter who you talked to, they always seemed to bring up the fact that your NHL player boyfriend made more money in a single season than you had seen in your entire life. It always left things awkward, as the implication of you being a gold digger hung in the air between you and the person you were having a conversation with. “I can probably transfer some money from my savings for extra stuff, but I had really only planned on buying a few meals and a few other trinkets for my family,” you admit, staring at the low number that showed in your checking account.

“Hey,” he says, resting his hand on your thigh, not taking his eyes off the road, “It’s fine. Anything you want, I’ll pay for it.” You smile at him, hoping he couldn’t tell from the corner of his eye that it wasn’t sincere. That was another thing you hated: other people covering for you. You grew up being taught that if you didn’t have money for it, you either didn’t pay for it until you had the money yourself, or you forewent it entirely. Having to worry about paying someone back was unnecessary stress in your life. Or, if they were like Jake, then they would insist it was their treat, not taking the money you owed them no matter how much it was.

You look out the window, the empty, tree-lined highway lighting up as the sun rose over it, the sky turning from the dark purple night to a brilliant orange right in front of you. You had never been one to wake up for the sunrise, taking in the sight for what was probably the first time in your life. “It’s so beautiful,” you say, taking a sip of your coffee, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this calm and quiet before.”

“I’ve seen one thing more beautiful than this,” he says, a huge smile on his face.

“What?” you ask, bracing him for the cheesy comment you knew he was going to make.

“You,” he says, proudly, trying to find your hand without looking away from the road, bringing it to his lips before connecting his back to the wheel.

“God,” you moan, both of you laughing, “That was so corny.”

“Well, they call me Chef JD, gotta have some corn sometimes,” he says, resulting in you screaming.

“I will in fact leave you if you say something like that again,” you tell him.

“Yeah? Where would you live, then?” he teases, immediately regretting his words, “Fuck, sorry.”

“I’d figure something out,” you tell him, trying to match his teasing tone so that he doesn’t think you took it the way you did. The rest of the ride to the airport is in silence, you both finishing your coffee as you pull up, seeing some of the guys getting their stuff out of their car at the same time. “Hey, aren’t international flights normally at night?” you ask Jake, Charlie, and Matt coming over to help you guys get your bags.

“Bergy booked the flight for all of us and we don’t question him,” Charlie says, pulling Jake away from you, the two of them wandering into the airport with Kylie trying to keep up with her own boyfriend

“It should be more concerning to all of you that he has to act like your father,” you say to Matt, walking with him to security. Besides Jake, you were closest to Matt. He adopted you as a pseudo younger sister, the one who knew just as much, if not more about you than your boyfriend.

Matt shrugs, watching Charlie and Jake mess around with each other in line in front of you, “It just kind of happened that way. None of us ever questioned it, like Chuck said.” The two of you watch the boys, bickering about something as they seemingly all forget their girls were standing right around them. You and Matt fall into a mundane conversation, watching Jake and Charlie together as they pass through security. The five of you gather your things, trying to find which way your gate was so you could meet the rest of the guys before boarding the flight.

Matt figured out that you were supposed to head to the left, so naturally, Jake and Charlie veered right, leaving you and Kylie with all their stuff to lug to the gate. “Where are they going?” you ask Kylie, dumbfounded as you struggle to carry Jake’s bag along with your own stuff.

“Charlie mentioned he was hungry on the way here, so I’m just hoping that’s where they’re going,” she mutters, “Dealing with all of them together is like herding cats,” clearly as cranky as you were earlier that morning as you try to stifle your laughter. Just like you, Kylie was not a person to interact with before she had caffeine in her, one of the reasons the two of you got along so well.

You get to the gate, Jake and Charlie nowhere to be seen even though you were suddenly surrounded by the rest of the Bruins roster. From the looks of the waiting area, the flight was mostly the guys and their families, and thankfully so: you would hate to be on a plane with the Bruins organization if you were outside the organization itself. You loved the boys, but god, they were loud and annoying sometimes. Everyone else on the plane would definitely hate the group, but they didn’t care. The city was fueled by the hate of everyone who wasn’t them.

Jake and Charlie finally reappear, more coffee and now food in hand. Jake hands you what he got you as you reposition yourself so you’re sitting cross-legged on the seat, slightly uncomfortable due to how scrunched up you were so you could face him. You lean over, kissing his cheek before you start eating

He turns his head to smile at you as you catch him off guard and kiss him again. “What’s this for?”

“I don’t tell you enough that I appreciate you,” you say to him, taking a bite of the breakfast sandwich he got you.

Jake smiles at you, turning himself so he faces you. He wraps his hand around the back of your neck, gently pulling you towards him so he can kiss your forehead, mumbling something you can’t quite make out against your skin. Charlie starts chirping Jake over something, resulting in him leaving you to go argue with his teammates. You can’t help but smile as you watch Jake and his teammates. You knew he loved them, just like they loved him.

“You didn’t have coffee in you when I was talking to you before and you were actually pleasant?” Matt plops down next to you, taking your attention away from Jake.

You roll your eyes at him, even though you knew he was right, “Shut up, Gryz. Jake and I stopped for coffee on the way here. This is round two,” you say, raising the cup to him. The two of you watch some of the younger guys aggregate around Jake and Charlie, Jake telling them some story while they hang onto every word of his, laughing their heads off with every sentence. “God, he loves you guys.”

“Yeah, but you know he loves you more,” Matt says, nudging your shoulder.

“I think he loves Oreos more than he loves me sometimes,” you joke, knowing that it’s not true. Hoping that it’s not true, more like it.

“Trust me, JD loves three things in this order: you, hockey, then Oreos. He loves you more than he loves hockey. Nothing you can do will change that.”

You both laugh, the announcement for your flight to board interrupting the noise the rest of the guys were making. Jake rushes over to your side, picking up the bags both of you were planning on bringing onto the plan, practically pushing Matt out of the way. He kisses you on the cheek, a soft smile on his face.

“What?” you ask him, linking your arm in his.

“I love you,” he says, getting in line behind some of the guys.

“I love you, too,” you say, leaning your head against his arm.

“Ready for seven hours on a plane with these fools?” Jake asks, using his other arm to gesture to the rest of his teammates.

“I’m only ready because you’re with me,” you say to him in a sing-songy voice.

“Woah! So you can be corny, but I can’t?” he jokes, sending you two into a flirty bickering match as you board the plane with everyone. You get settled into your seats, resting your head on his shoulder to hopefully fall back to sleep despite the amount of caffeine coursing through your veins. You can hear the guys talking around you, probably annoying the rest of the passengers on the flight more than they intended.

You end up in that half awake-half asleep state while on his shoulder, the sounds of the rest of the guys fading in and out as you did. You could feel Jake occasionally kissing the top of your head, resting his on yours in an effort to go to sleep like you were. Both of you were woken up by the sound of the flight attendant coming through with food, the long flight warranting a hot meal, you and Jake being handed something different than the rest of the people around you.

“What is it?” you whisper to him once the flight attendant has passed by you.

“None of the free meals looked good so I got us something different,” he says, taking a bite of what looked like chicken covered in some sort of sauce.

“We could have just done the free meal so you wouldn’t be paying for me again,” you mumble, a little annoyed that he didn’t even ask when paying for food made things awkward earlier that morning.

You sit there in silence, eating the food that Jake bought you. Honestly, it was airplane food, not something that you had even wanted in the first place but you couldn’t let it go to waste now.

“I think I’m gonna go sit with Charlie,” Jake says, getting up without saying another word once the food is gone, leaving you to sit there by yourself with the other people in the row.

You try to find something to watch on the screen in front of you, only to be interrupted by Matt appearing and Jake’s seat, startling you as you rip out the headphones you had on while the first movie available was starting to play. “Your boy just kicked me out of my seat by sitting on top of me.”

You can’t help but laugh, picturing the other passengers' reactions around then as the grown men that were Jake and his teammates acted like absolute children. “I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that he did that or that fact that I’m not shocked that he did that.” You watch him with Charlie, your smile fading as his grows.

“Hey, what’s up?” Matt asks, pulling your attention away from Jake.

“Same argument that we haven’t really fought over yet.” Matt was the only one on the team that knew about the seemingly never-ending awkwardness that surrounded you and Jake when it came to money. “It’s not getting worse, but it’s more frequent. I’m just worried we’re gonna end up blowing up at each other and losing each other in the process,” you tell him, fixating on the screen in front of you.

You hear him exhale, looking over to see a sad look on his face. A single lock of hair falls down in front of his forehead, moving along with the rest of his head, “Couples fight. I don’t want to tell you that you should have this argument this weekend, but you have to talk about it. And I mean really talk about it, not just the vague undertones you two constantly have dancing around the subject.”

You stare at him, slightly confused at how something like that came out of him, “I don’t like how you said that so eloquently,” you laugh, Matt throwing his head back to join you.

“But you know I’m right,” he says.

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” you huff, waving him off.

Without another word, he hands you his other earbud, starting a movie on his screen that would hopefully last the rest of the flight. You rest your head on his shoulder to get a better view of the screen, picturing Jake in his place.

You didn’t remember falling asleep, but you must have at some point because the next thing you know, the movie is over, the plane is about to land, and Matt is trying to get you off his shoulder so he can get back to his seat. “Hey, Y/N,” he whispers, nudging his shoulder gently. “Jake’s coming back,” he says, acting as if he didn’t want to get caught with you asleep next to him.

“Hi,” you yawn, rubbing your eyes as he plops back down in his seat, him kissing your cheek as you now struggle to stay awake. “It’s like, the middle of the night now, isn’t it?” you ask him, having no idea the time difference between Boston and where you were.

“I think it’s like 10 pm. I didn’t realize I was dating an old woman,” he jokes, pulling a laugh from you.

“You wear me out, babe,” you say, everyone getting up from their seats, the boys making more noise than anyone on the plane as people anxiously waited to get off.

“And you keep me young,” he says, giving you a quick peck before handing you your bag.

You hear someone groan behind you, turning to see Matt standing there already waiting for the two of you to move out of his way. “I’m not going to hang out with you if you’re like this the entire trip” he teases.

You can’t help but scoff, playing into the teasing nature of his comment. “Sorry, bubs, you’re the only one who didn’t bring a date so that makes you our third wheel.”

“I could third wheel any of the guys here and you know that,” he tries to defend himself as Jake grabs your hand and starts to pull you off the plane.

“That’s a weird thing to brag about,” you tell him, the three of you walking in a line to go get your bags, you and Matt carrying a conversation while Jake stands off to the side, not paying attention to the movement of the unfamiliar airport around him.

Everyone waits outside for whatever transportation Patrice had arranged to the hotel, still unsure how he swung any of the details he did. The guys had way too much energy considering how many hours they spent cooped up on a plane. You were exhausted, the coffee practically gone from your system as you tried to convince Jake to just go back to the hotel room with you and spend the night in. “Please?” you beg him, draping yourself on his arm as he waited to get your room keys.

“But the guys want to explore the city,” he whines, jutting his lip out to you.

“I have no more coffee in me,” you whine back. He pouts at you, contemplating whether or not it’s worth it to try to convince you to stay in or go explore with the guys. “I will do anything you want.”

He raises his eyebrows, pulling you close to him, “Anything?” he asks, forgetting the guys surrounding you as he kisses you, his grip around your waist tightening as his teammates start teasing the two of you.

“Hey, JD! Save that for the bedroom!” Matt chirps, your face turning bright red at his words.

“Ah, fuck off and let me love her,” he says, his forehead against yours. “I think I like the sound of the bedroom.”

You ignore the chirps from the boys as he kisses you again, the heat in your cheeks not subsiding until the two of you get to your room. “Are you sure you don’t want to go out with the guys? Apparently, the nightlife is supposed to be awesome in the city,” Jake says, flopping down on the bed. You had been there all of two seconds, and he was already starfished on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling.

You sigh, sitting down next to him. “I told you I don’t want to go out,” you repeat, a little more annoyed than you intended to sound. “I’m tired, and when we go out, we’re going to end up spending more money and-” you stop, cutting yourself off as Jake sits up.

“Hey,” he says, taking your hands in his, “I told you I would pay for you. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is, though. To me it is. I don’t need you to keep paying for me for everything. I don’t want you to.”

“What’s the big deal?”

Were you really about to have the fight you and Matt talked about on the plane in your hotel room? “Don’t you get it? You have so much money while I’m constantly struggling to make ends meet because of fucking loans. Do you know what it’s like to be a grown adult and live off someone else's money, the constant looks from people when I talk about you that say they think I’m just dating you for your money? That unless you’re home and go grocery shopping for us, I have to choose between food and gas until you get back? All I am is a fucking burden.”

“What, you think I don’t know about all of that? Why do you think I pay for you? So you don’t have to worry about food and gas,” he says, getting up.

“And I hate that you do that!” you snap, “That you feel like you have to. It’s like a slap in the face that I can never pay for anything and you have to pay for everything.”

“So what do you want me to do? Stand by and watch you struggle when I have the means to help you?” The volume of his voice matched yours, hearing doors in the hallway opening and closing, praying that it wasn’t other guests trying to figure out what room the screaming match was coming from.

“I don’t mind if you help out once in a while when I really need it but it’s stuff like the second round of Dunkin’ when I could barely get the first, the meal on the airplane when they give out free ones, or when you keep asking to go out, knowing that we’re going to spend money after I told you no.” Jake rolls his eyes, pushing past you and out the door. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going out with the guys. You want something, you can get it yourself, see if I care,” he hisses, leaving you standing there with the door propped open by your foot, watching him walk away. Matt gets off the elevator when he tries to get on, saying something you can’t make out when the elevator door closes.

“What the hell happened?” Matt asks, looking between you and the elevator.

You shake your head, trying to hold back the tears that were forming, knowing that there were other people in the hallway that had just witnessed the end of whatever that was. “Remember the fight you said we would have? We just had it,” you tell him, flopping down on your bed with your hands over your face. You let out a long groan, feeling the weight of Matt’s body sink the corner of the mattress down. You knew he was giving you that sympathetic look that was going to make you more upset, feeding into your already upset nature just that much more.

“What happened?” Matt repeats.

“We just finally snapped. God, of all places to have a stupid fight like this, we have at the night before your teammate is supposed to get married. I mean, fuck, we’re in Barcelona, for god's sake and you and I are here watching me mope instead of exploring like we should be.”

“Well, who says we can’t?”

“My bank account.”

Matt pries your hands off your face, forcing you to sit up despite you clearly not wanting to. “There’s so much to do in Barcelona at night that doesn’t involve spending money. We can find the guys no problem, probably doing something free.”

“And how do you expect we do that?” you ask him as he tries to drag you off the bed, grabbing the room key on the way out the door.

Matt waves his phone in the air, a smug look on his face. “I have the location of everyone on the team, past and present, on Find My Friends.”

You hesitate for a minute, your wallet and bag sitting right there by the door for you to grab to go join your boyfriend and his teammates and try to enjoy the night despite the fight you just had. “Matt,” you try to protest, your eyes darting back and forth between him and your bag. You didn’t want to worry about Jake on the night out, but you knew you couldn’t be spending a lot of money. You had been out with the guys too many times before when Jake promised they wouldn’t be big spenders, only to go home and have to worry about how you were going to survive to the next paycheck.

“If you want anything then I’ll pay for it and you pay me back with food or something. Y/N, Jake is wandering Barcelona with Charlie right now, probably just as upset as you are,” he tries to reason with you. “There’s no point in sitting here alone in your hotel room when you’re in a city that you’ve been talking about visiting for as long as I’ve known you.”

You let out a groan, knowing that he was right. “I can’t stand you,” you mumble, grabbing your bag and heading out the door with him.

Matt had his phone pulled out, trying to navigate the city based on a little dot that showed your boyfriend’s location. You had no idea where you were going, and, to be honest, you weren’t sure that Matt had any idea either. You had never been in a situation where the two of you had to wander through unfamiliar territory before, but something told you it was going to be a while before he figured out how to get to the rest of the guys.

“Matt, this is useless. We’ve been walking around for over an hour already,” you tell him, sitting down on the bench that was just off the path you had been taking.

“It hasn’t been an hour, you’re being dramatic.”

Matt sits down next to you as you pull out your phone. “We left the room at 10 pm. It’s 11. That’s an hour,” you snap at him, clearly hating that you can’t find them. “I just want to see Jake,” you mutter.

“Have either of you calmed down enough to have an actual conversation with each other? You know, not a screaming match?” Matt asks you, watching the small dots that represented his teammates move around his phone screen. “If you want to try to figure out your way around here, when neither of us speaks the language to ask for directions, we can. If not, we go back to the hotel.”

You stare at his phone, seeing JD, CM, TF, two JS’s, and a DP altogether, somewhere off the road where neither of you were able to figure out how to get to them. You shake your head, thinking about Matt’s words: you weren’t sure you were cooled off enough to talk to Jake rationally, and you had a feeling he was still the same. “Let’s just find our way back to the hotel,” you tell him, getting up off the bench.

You look at Matt, the look of sympathy covering his face as he follows you back the way you came. You probably could have easily found Jake and the rest of the guys, working out whatever the hell you needed to before the wedding tomorrow. If you couldn’t work it out, what did that mean for your future, though? If you didn’t live with Jake, you would be struggling way more than you were now, probably living paycheck to paycheck without the luxury of everything Jake did for you.

Were you wrong to be mad that he was trying to help?

The two of you get back to the hotel, the empty lobby eerily echoing with your footsteps on the marble floor. You hadn’t even noticed it before, the hotel you were staying at was probably the nicest one you had ever set foot in. You were tempted to sit on one of the chairs in the lobby, wait there for Jake and the rest of the guys to come back despite the fact that they would probably be drunk off their asses when you saw them.

Matt puts his hand on your arm, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Do you want to stay down here and wait?” he asks you, reading your mind, “Or, do you want to go back to either your room or mine?”

“I don’t want to impose,” you try to protest.

“So, you’d rather go back to an empty room and wallow alone instead of sitting on my bed, eating ice cream, and watching a movie,” he tempts you, raising his eyebrows with his offer.

“I don’t want ice cream.”

Matt scrunches his nose, letting out a laugh. “I never said the ice cream was for you. It’s summer, I can cheat on the nutrition plans a little more right now.”

He manages to pull a laugh from you, the two of you heading up to his room. You plopped yourself on his bed, your hands behind your head while you couldn’t take your mind off Jake. You really didn’t want him to be as miserable as you felt, but part of you also did want that. Was that bad?

You knew you had to set boundaries. You knew you couldn’t live without him, both financially and in life in general.

“You know,” Matt says, pulling you out of your thoughts yet again, “The guys are back here at the hotel. If you wanted to go back to your room, I’m sure you could talk to him now.”

You roll over, your back facing Matt. “I don’t think he would want to talk to me.”

Matt sighs, lying down next to you and staring up at the ceiling. “Like I told you in Boston, Jake loves you more than anything. If I know anything about him, he’s just as miserable as you are, probably back in your room panicking about where you are.”

You turn to him, narrowing your eyes. “This is your way of trying to get me out of here before the ice cream comes and you feel like you have to share with me, isn’t it?”

You both laugh, sitting up to get ready to go. “Oh, of course.”

You head out, opening the door, caught off guard by who was standing there. “Jake?”

He shoves his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet. “I thought you would be here.” You nod, both of you standing there in an awkward silence as you held the door to Matt’s room open. You didn’t know if you should speak first or wait for Jake to do it, and apparently, he felt the same.

“As much as I love just staring at you two,” Matt breaks the silence. “Would you be able to do this with my door closed? You can be in here, but,” his voice trails off. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear whatever it was you were about to talk about even though he already knew.

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” you tell him, letting his room door close behind you as Jake took your hand in his, leading you down the hall to your room.

You don’t say anything until you get into your room, both of you sitting at the foot of the bed.

“I’m sorry I got mad,” he says, his hand still in yours but unable to look at you.

“I’m sorry I got mad,” you repeat, for lack of better words to say. “We need boundaries. I get that you want to pay for things, but I need you to ask me before you do, especially if it’s something we don’t necessarily need.”

“Ok,” he draws out, trying to figure out how to frame his words. “Would you be ok with asking me for help when you need it? You know I can help you, and it kills me seeing you struggle when I have the means to make this stop.”

“I just want you to ask.”

He smiles at you, raising his hand to cup your face. “I will,” he says, his lips finding yours for a soft, sweet kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You spend the rest of the night together, trying to figure out boundaries of what and when Jake can lend you money, what should be paid back, what he doesn’t want back, everything. It was the conversation you should have had years ago, yet never did.

The next morning, you get ready for his teammate's wedding, slipping on the dress, your back towards Jake while he put on his suit. “Can you zip me up?” you ask him while he adjusted his sleeves.

He comes up behind you, his fingers holding the small zipper and slowly pulling it up your back. Jake wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in front of the mirror hung on the wall of the room, his head nestled on your shoulder. “I can’t wait until we get married.”

You laugh, craning your neck to kiss the side of his head. “That’ll be an expensive day, won’t it,” you joke.

“Yeah, maybe. But spending the rest of my life with the girl I love? That’s priceless.”

[thokaharuka]

Annoying party

WARNINGS: smut,swearing.

Hii,this is my first time writing smut in a long time and my first time uploading it too,so don't expect it to be good hahaha. Sorry if there's any grammar mistake or a typo, english its not my first language.

I can't believe she's done it again,I've told my sister millions of times that when I bring my friends over night she can't bring hers too,not because of something specific, I mean,my friends are her friends,they all were her friends before I started hanging out with them too. It's just that her new friends really bug me. They all have this cocky attitude and I just can't stand it. And if you add the fact that I'm younger than them it doesn't help.

The night started easy,my friends arrived,and we were all sitting on the couch playing some poker and sharing some laughs. Everything normal,with some music in the background that reminded us of last summer. When suddenly my sister and all of her friends came into the house. They were all screaming,laughing and being loud in general. What does this people not understand from "a chill out" night?

I automatically roll my eyes and look over at one of my friends,her face expressions showing me how she hates this as much as me.

"Hey" One of them chuckled with a big smile towards us. All my friends saluting back,I just simply passed.

"I swear to god I can't stand them" I whisper to one of my friends,he only shrugged placing his hand on my thigh.

We tried to keep playing but it was almost impossible to concentrate when there were all this people being so fucking loud. Until our chill music was replaced by some loud banging. One of them had the nerve to change what was on my TV...that was it.

I looked up to obviously be faced with none other than Harry with MY controller on his hands and a big cocky smile.

"Oh no no no no" I said standing up,getting real mad now. " You don't get to crash in here,ruining our fucking mood and change the shit that I - we were listening to,give me back the fucking controller" I put my hand in front of me waiting for him to give it back. Everyone was looking at me,because I was speaking a bit loud.

"Seems like baby girl has a big mouth tonight " He said giving me that half grin.

"And seems like Mr. No manners thinks he's Christian Grey" I said,obviously because of him calling me "baby girl"

"You're right,sorry,I'll just call you kiddie,it's your nickname at the end of the day" Apparently that grin won't dissappear from his face. I cross my arms.

"Yeah Harry,we all get it,you are older than me,wow,such a thing you should really feel superior." Desintrest in my voice "It really,really remarks your age this attitude. Keep bragging how you're only four years older than me. Bravo" I started clapping in sarcasm. I would normally just tell him to fuck off,but,my TV is my TV,and when we're playing poker we need silence. I was not in the mood for letting him ruin my date night. He really thought he was better than me because he was older? Pathetic.

All of them went silent,his face dropped a bit and his gaze was burning mine.

"Still waiting for the controller"

"Yeah,about that,you're not getting it back"

"You know what? Fuck this" I started walking towards the door to the backyard, I needed to smoke a cigarette.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By now it was already two in the morning. And all I could do was stare at my phone,sitting on the couch. Most of my friends were doing the same,while my sister's were trashing the house and making a bunch of noise,some of them them probably drunk as fuck, which made me more mad because, c'mon,in the first place I didn't like this people, and I also don't like alcohol or drunk people in my house. Those two combined were killing my patience slowly. If you looked at one corner you'll see a couple making out,if you looked at the other my sister was talking with someone. She was just so calm about all of this.

I turn off my phone and recline my arms in my knees, I looked at my right and saw the only person that I know from this group of people  chugging beer. Typical Harry,obviously trying to impress a girl. I never really understood this thing that they all have with him, I mean,yeah,I can't lie,the kid wasn't ugly, but he wasn't charming. He might fuck great if they all wanted him.

When I first met him I was impressed by his looks not gonna lie,until he opened his mouth and started being his cocky and loud self. He's a true frat boy when it comes to parties and stuff. And his style wasn't something very special, he right now was wearing a white Lakers tank top,showing his tattoos,black jeans and a bandana on his head that had the American flag.

While he held the beer bottle I saw his two rings on his right hand,one on the middle finger that was gold and the other was on his ring finger,that one was gold too but instead of just being plain it had a circular top. He ended his bottle and throw it to the side smiling, multiple people clapping him. Wow this really turned into a party. I got to see his left hand which only had a silver ring on his middle finger. Ironic places to put his rings when you consider his reputation as a "playboy".

I got up,sick of all of this noise and looked at my friends,I felt so bad for them,everything we planned was ruined to another level. They are normally the type to go to parties,they will never say no to a good shot and a fun night with some friends. But they didn't like these people either. I tried to walk to the kitchen but I was stopped by someone taking me by my wrist. I turn around and see a blonde guy,fake blonde. His hair was weird styled.

"Hey,maya's little sister right?" He shows a big smile.

"Umm,yeah" I say a little bit awkward and putting a shy smile. He was still holding my wrist. I look down at it and then at him,he was the typical skater/rocker boy.

"Hey Michael" Someone says from behind me.

The guy looks at the person for a second. When that person was in front of me it was...Harry of course, because that's my luck.

"Oh,hi kiddie" says Harry with a can of beer in his right hand,big smile,and mocking my voice. I just roll my eyes. "What are you doing talking to kiddie? Did you convince her that having fun is actually not being sat on the couch having a grudge?"

"Bye" I turn around,going to the kitchen.

When I arrive the first thing that I see are multiple couples making out. Gross. Let's not forget this is my kitchen. There weren't like two thousand people in the house. But adding my friends there were at least 30 people. I go to the fridge and take a can of coke. When I was about to close the fridge a hand stopped it about to take something out of it. I look at the guy,he really was confident about it.

"Can you not?" I say looking up at him and a disgusted look in my face.

"I'm sorry?"

"Not your house,not your fridge buddy" I shake my head and forming my lips into a line at the end of the sentence.

"I thought"

"You thought nothing" I say closing the fridge, looking at him for a second and then walking out of the kitchen.

I go to where my friends were,being surprised by what I had in front of me. All my friends were sat on the couch,and my sister's (the other people rooming the house were friends of her friends) were forming a circle in front of the couch. They were talking with a bottle on the floor between them.

I make my way and sit between two of my closest friends of my group, I needed some emotional support to bear with this. I don't know why I have to be so bitter about things, but I am,and I'm starting to have a headache. I open my can and take a sip while everyone around me had some laughs. I put the can on the floor by my feet and cross my legs.

"So,ready to play?" One of the guys said taking the bottle on the floor in his hands.

I look at my friends confused.

"We're going to play spin the bottle I think" one of my friends whispered to me

"Aha"

"So,for those who don't know the rules,we're gonna spin the bottle two times,the two people that were chosen will be dared to do something"

Sounds like a lot of fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We've been playing for a while now, I didn't got to do anything yet,I think this is our third round. They spin the bottle and the first person to be selected is Harry.

"Uh,nice" he says looking down at the bottle, they were all sat in chairs. He had his elbows reclining on his knees and his arms were crossed.

The bottle gets to spin a second time,the bottle stops,and everyone looked at me,I looked at them confused and looked down at the bottle again.

"You have to be fucking kidding me" Harry said sitting up straight.

And then it hit, I came out of my mental bubble and realized the bottle stopped at my feet pointing at me. I sigh in annoyance.

"What should we dare them?" Says the blonde one that spinned the bottle with a smile. "Since ya'll can't stand each other..." says and pauses thinking. "You'll have to be locked in a room for...I don't know,30 minutes?"

"Yeah I think I'll pass" I say while looking at Harry.

"You can't back down now" Says Michael.

"C'mon, go" My sister said.

I stand up with a loud grunt. Harry stands up too.

"See you in bit" Michael states

"Fuck you" I say with a fake smile.

We start walking out of there and the blonde guy follows us,I suppose to make sure we go were we're supposed.

"We're going to my room" I say as I start walking up stairs

"I can't wait" The sarcasm in Harry's voice being obvious

We get to my door and walk in,the blonde guy locks the door. I sit in my bed done with everything. This is going to be awkward.

"I see you like posters kiddie" He says looking around.

"Do you not get tired of calling me kiddie?" This man really knows how to annoy me,and it's not of what he calls me but his existence.

"No,because it's fun" He says smiling and looking at me.

"I'm not gonna bear with this I'm sorry" I say standing up.

"Really? Hmm,thought this game would be too much for a child,even though this dare it's literal bloody bullshit"

"Do you have any superiority issue or something? Anyways I'm done" I say walking towards the door. When I take the door handle in my hand and about to open it Harry slams his hand on the door closing it again and turning me around by my shoulder.

His hand on the door by my head. He was looking down at me with his brows furrowed.

"I'm not gonna loose this because of you. Grow up and learn how to deal with people. It's about damn time."

I look at him in confusion. "Says the one that's always picking on me"

"Yeah,but still I'm able to stay in this room with a brat. I get that you can't stand me,I can't stand you either, but you're not gonna make me loose because of your bullshit." He's body was hovering mine,while leaning on the hand that was next to my head.

"Fuck off" I say while looking up at him.

He suddenly bends over and grabs me by my thighs lifting me up,making my legs wrap around his hips.

"What are you-" He starts walking over my bed placing me down.

"You're staying here kiddie"

"Because you say so"

"Yeah,exactly" He says sitting down on my bed too. "You know that attitude doesn't look good on a girl like you"

"How do you want me to act? Sweet and Innocent?" I laugh by the assumption.

"You act like a fucking brat"

"Yeah,and you act like a fucking asshole"

We were giving our backs to each other,I was sitting on the bed corner,and he was at my right. The position not giving us the opportunity to look at each other unless we turn around.

"Well people normally don't give a shit about it"

"Yeah,cause they're the same as you, and the girls you hang around with don't care as long as they find you hot"

He chuckles.

"What?"

"Do you find me hot?"

Where the fuck is this conversation going.

"What do you mean"

"I mean, do you find me hot?

"That's a tricky question"

"Not at all"

"Okey,well,do you find me hot? See it's a tricky question".

"I don't see how it can be tricky"

"I'm not gonna tell you if I find you hot" I turn around to see him with his back to me,elbows on his knees looking down.

"C'mon kiddie,it's not that hard to answer. If you didn't had that attitude I would definitely find you hot as hell"

The fuck did he just said? I mean,he's not ugly,already said so,but I'm definitely not feeding his ego.

"Thank you... I guess,but I thought you couldn't stand me"

"And I don't, but I can't lie." He says turning around looking at me.

"Hm"

"Now its you're turn. Do you find me hot?" He reclines on his hand on the bed being closer to me. Cocky smile on his face.

"I'm not gonna feed your ego"

"That's a yes I suppose" His gaze feeling like he could see through my eyes.

"Fuck you" I laugh standing up and going to my desk playing with the stuff I had on top of it.

"I don't find hot the people that I hate buddy"

After some seconds I feel a hand on my waist and his breath on my left ear. I freeze.

"We could spend this time having fun" He whispers,giving me chills. Not the damn time hormones.

"Yeah? What do you have in mind,play some boardgames?" I swallow the knot in my throat.

"I was thinking of something more..." pauses taking a breath. "Physical" when he whispers so he glued he's body to mine and biting the lobe of my ear.

"Harry,I don't think this is a great idea" My voice a little shaky

"Shhhh" He turns me around lifting me on top of the desk and parting my legs so he could stand between them. He comes closer to my face,a few centimeters separating them.

"You know,you really got me mad with the scene you made because of the controller" his voice was low and raspy. He was looking at my lips throughout the whole sentence. My arms make their way to his neck.

"Well I don't like people touching my stuff" I whisper back looking at his lips too.

"What a shame" He said leaning in and starting to kiss me. I breath in at the sudden exchange. The kiss started slow. I still couldn't belive this was happening,what the fuck,this escalated too quick. He's lucky he's hot.

He leaned his body on mine,one hand on my back,the other on my thigh. I wrap my legs around his waist. My fingers playing with the hair on the back of his neck,not being able to take a handful because of his bandana. I felt all this heat going through my body,my cheeks were probably red as hell.

The kiss started to take a more fast path as his hand was going up and down my outer thigh. He buried his head on my neck,kissing and biting the skin there. I tilted my head back so he could have more space to it. A very subtle moan escaped from my mouth.

My hands make their way to the hem of his shirt and starting to take it off of him. He parted from me so I could take it off. When I did so I kissed him again,putting my hands on his cheeks. He raised the skirt of my dress to my waist,sliding two fingers through my panties. I separated from his lips taking a big breath. He started rubbing in circular motions with his thumb where my clit is. My breath was far from stable.

"Do you think you can get to talk to me like that in front of everyone?" He whispers looking at my lips.

"Mhm" I hum in agreement.

"Really?"

He stopped doing what he was doing taking off my panties and throwing them on the floor. Sliding again two fingers through my folds.

"So wet for me,kiddie?" He said with a grin on his face.

"Can't help it" I whisper,dying for him to start doing something.

He leaned in kissing me again while he slipt one finger in me, I couldn't help but moan on his lips. He leaned down to my neck and starting sucking on it while fingering me. The room filled with my quiet moans. I could feel the ring on his finger being cold.

He kneed in front of me raising my skirt a little more,taking my thighs and sliding me more to the edge of the desk. My chest was rising up and down looking at him. He got closer to my core feeling his breathing,I put my hand on top of his head. He slid his tongue up and down and I let a loud moan get out of my mouth. He started sucking on my clit,making me moan more and more. Starting to finger me too with two fingers, the other hand on my waist keeping me still. I tilt my head back from all the pleasure taking my body,leaning in my left hand behind me on the desk. I close my eyes feeling how closer I got to my climax. Moaning his name over an over again,but suddenly he stopped everything he was doing,I look down at him immediately.

"Do you think you can get to talk to me like that in front of everyone?" He repeated the same question from before. Was he really about to edge me because of that? Is he dumb or what. Of course I think so.

"Mhm" I nod.

He started shaking his head getting up.

"Wrong answer"

"What a shame" I say kissing him. My hands go to his belt,unclipping it,opening the button of his jeans and unzipping them. I take him out of his boxers feeling how hard he was,my hand going up and down his length.

"Kiddie likes to play?" He said out of breath on my lips. I simply just keep kissing him while jerking him off. Whimpers getting out of his mouth. I bite his bottom lip pulling back. His hand goes to my lower back taking me more to the edge of the desk. I stop stroking him when his hand takes mine's place.

"We better be quick" He said. I nod at his words.

He slid his tip up and down my core and then he aligned himself.

"Wait,the condom" I stop him from going in.

"Fuck,I don't have any with me,I didn't thought I'd do something here" He says parting from me.

"I have some in my drawer back there" I point at the drawer,he just gave me a grin and went for it.

While he was looking for a condom I get to look at him better,I've never seen him shirtless,he had a big butterfly tattooed on his stomach,some eagles beneath his collar bones,letters on his shoulders,in general he had a lot of tattoos, most of them on his left arm.

He came back,opening the condom,taking it out of its package and putting it on him. Taking the plastic wrapper and putting it in his back pocket. When he was done he came over to me,I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist,he aligned himself again and thrusting in me slow,hands on my waist. He had this slow path for some minutes. His thrusting getting more and more abrupt and quicking up his pace. The room being filled with our moans. He grabs me by my neck choking me a little,my eyes rolling back.Being more and more fast with his moves. I was starting to feel lightheaded.

His other hand goes in between us and starts to do circular motions with his fingers on my clit,overstimulating me. I cuss under my breath. I don't know how much time we have left,I hope no one catches us by surprise.

I can feel how I am about to cum soon,my moanings getting louder and louder, so he kissed me to shut me up before someone could hears me.

All I needed was one more thrust and I'll be seeing stars. He parted from my lips cussing under his breath getting sloppier with his thrusts. I lean my head on his shoulder so he let's go of my throat,feeling my climax moaning his name. A few more thrusts and he did the same.

We stood there for a few minutes trying to calm our breaths.

He got out of me taking the condom off,tying a knot to it and throwing it in the trash of my room,closing his pants and going for his tank top putting it on him. Then he came over to me and help me get down of the desk,my legs were shaking like crazy. I lean down,taking my panties and putting them on. We didn't said anything,because I don't think we really knew what to say,but my thoughts were interrupted by the door opening up. We were there standing up at the desk when Michael came in.

" I see you guys haven't killed each other yet" He says looking at us.

"Yeah,well,kiddie and I were just talking about how much we hate each other, negotiating it more like"

Michael laughed getting out of the door,we followed him to get back were the guys were.

[kuroos-moon]

≪ the love that wrecks, and the one that mends ≫

pairing: atsumu x reader x suna

genre: sfw, angst

warning/s: toxic relationship, implied sex, minor swearing, prolly contains typos & grammatical errors (didn’t proofread)

wc: 2.3k

His breaths are ragged, thoughts a jumble. It couldn’t be true, lies spread far too easily and he knew that. But still, just to be sure—not that he believed a word at all—he’ll ask you. You, his haven and comfort, the thick blanket to his coldest days and the warm embrace piercing through his isolation. 

You, who filled his thoughts every night. What if he did this the next day or what if he had done that before bidding you goodbye after he walked you home? You, who had been there by his side all this time, he need not look to know that you’re there; you always will be. Through hurricanes of uncertainties and tides of pain, where every memory was precedented and followed by another misery for you both, you and him will not change. 

“This isn’t gonna be the last time we’ll cry because of each other, right?” 

His lips twitch up into a small smile as he tilts his head to the side, looking at you as if you were the prettiest sight. “Most likely not. Tell me, do ‘ya want it any other way though?” 

Eyes seeing through you, he already knows your answer. You only shake your head, chuckling, “as if there is another way with you.” 

That’s right, you can’t expect to have Atsumu in your life if you’re not willing to wet your pillow with tears before slumber, to break the rules—to lose yourself—to get hurt, to bleed, to yearn for more but accept the least. You can’t have it all, they say. Well, you always thought they were wrong. 

With Atsumu, you had it all. The thrill, the pleasure, the pain—him, your breathtaking Atsumu who would utter the most painful words and whisper the sweetest apologies. He knew it too, you were willing to go through hell and back. You befriend your demons and say goodbye to the light, you easily do so, without the faintest doubt—if it means a few seconds of intertwined fingers, a glimpse of his loving eyes, an echo of his laughter, you don’t care, it’s enough, it should be. 

But where the hell are you? You’re not at home, apparently you’re over at a friend’s place. He takes a moment to catch his breath as he arrives at his own home, exhausted, depressed and anxious. He could feel himself lose control of his thoughts, though he was only thinking of you. 

You, who would call him at the most random of times ‘just because’ and you, who had not talked to him properly ever since the last fight you had which was roughly three months ago. What the fight was about, he couldn’t even remember, what he does recall is how you uttered the words goodbye, Atsumu and not your usual see you, ‘tsum.

“I thought we were watching a movie,” there’s the subtlest smile on his lips, dark orbs finally trained on you after he had looked away from the screen. “What I’m looking at is so much better though,” you whisper, intoxicated by his scent and his embrace. 

“Really?” He asks, nonchalant but his tone dishonest. If anything, he wishes more than anything else for you to mean those words, yet it felt like they weren’t for him to hear. “Really.”

You’re an angel, badly hurt and wings clipped.

And it’s all okay. He’ll mend you and patch you up with what he could offer, though deep down he knows you still preferred pain than his solace. He’ll make you fly again, overlooking his true wishes that even with flight—even if you’ve healed enough to let Atsumu destroy you once more—you’ll pick him. It’s fine, he keeps reminding himself, even if you dive straight down to that hell again and abandon him. 

In a millisecond of staring back at your eyes, he had thought over a million ways for you to actually see through him. Words will not do justice for how deeply he had fallen for you, not by a long shot, so please, “y/n, see me,” he whispers into his dark and silent room while you lay facing each other. 

“I am looking at you, Rin,” you assure him, appreciatively running your fingers through his hair. Thank god for him, he’s a work of art.

“Then, do you know how much I love you?” He whispers, the agony of being someone who could only relieve your pain and not truly make you happy had his voice breaking and he hid it so well, but you heard, a tear already rolling down his cheek. 

Your heart falls, watching more tears fall from his beautiful, kind eyes. The very eyes that had seen you at your worst, the very ones that you catch already staring at you from across the room. 

“Y/n you said you see me, right?” He says, silent sobs forcing its way out of his throat and you pull him to yourself, peppering feather-like kisses on his skin and the heaven knows how far and desperately he truly wished that those kisses were out of love and not of pity. 

“I see you.” 

You don’t, he thought. You see a friend, a potential lover, a satisfactory replacement, it will always be Atsumu who’s rooted in the depths of your heart he could only dream of reaching. 

“I love you Rin, you have no clue, and I do know how much you love me.” Of course you know, how could you not know when he kisses your forehead before he heads off to practice? when he races to your side the first thing in the morning and wordlessly holds your hand, when he tells you he loves you every single day and night, whether it’s through the phone, or in person when he thought you were asleep. 

“But you wish he loved you this much instead of me,” he says, and as he’s always done, he puts you first and neglects his hurt, comforting you as you cry silent tears, pushing away the pain in his chest that’s commanding him to just breathe and let go. 

He’d rather suffer alone than have you shed tears with him though, regretting to let you see him cry. Like the miracle of peace amidst chaos, his lips find their way to yours, drowning your sobs as his thumb swipes across your cheeks to wipe your tears away.

Your hearts beat faster, and he was wrong to think he was insignificant to you, because if anything, he was your world, your lifeline. Not just because he kissed, hugged, and comforted all your pain away, but because Suna is the only person you’ll love and forever choose to love like this, like words couldn’t describe, and numbers could not measure. 

If your relationship with Atsumu was hell, you couldn’t even say Suna was heaven, not even close, heaven’s too flawed and unworthy to be compared to your lover. He’s just him, your cherished Suna Rintarou. The brunette you don’t have to break the rules for or cry over every other night, the gentle Suna who will never utter words he knows would hurt you, the beautiful Suna who with just a glimpse of him, all your troubles fade and love fills you. 

It was when you loved Suna Rintarou, that you truly knew what love was like or what love was supposed to be—for you, that is. After months together, you discovered that love for you was listening to your shared playlist as you walk home together with your hand in his inside his pocket, love for you was barging into his room while he was still asleep and waking him up with a kiss, love for you was not hurting yourself over and over, love for you was loving more and more each day, and after loving Suna, love for you is him and him alone. 

“Y/n?” The surprise is evident in his voice when you had pulled away only to glue your lips back together as you shift and now lay on top of him. He guiltily cannot peel his eyes away from you when you rid yourself of his hoodie, he had always known you were beautiful, it was common sense, he’d make it a law if need be, but tonight, he’s looking at you where his eyes had never seen or adored you yet before. 

“Do you see me, Rin?” You whisper, and he draws his hand to the side of your face, his love for you painfully too overwhelming brought by your small act of kissing the inside of his wrist. He’s drunk from your affection, addicted to it.  “I love you, only you, and it will always be you, okay? I’m sorry it took me a while to get to where I belong, to be here with you.” 

That night, tears were spilt as your lips met, confessions were whispered as love was made, again and again until early hours of dawn, until your head lays on his bare chest and his arm securely encloses you to him, a smile on his lips as he listens to your even breaths. 

Meanwhile, Atsumu suffered a sleepless, restless wake of dawn. It wasn’t confirmed to be true yet, but maybe it was because of the way he knew deep down that it is probable, and it made sense. Your love was toxic—unofficial even—while he had always been yours, he knew that he gave you one too many reasons to no longer be his. 

Yes, he was yours as you lay together on your bed that one night, endless conversations and sincere smiles. But no, he was no longer yours when he left your place and called one of his girls, apologizing for not showing up. 

He was yours, when he got jealous and possessive, claiming you his and holding you tightly close to him. But the moment you started asking for more again—for a relationship more certain—in his irritated eyes and discomforted language, in his small sigh and aversion of the topic, you knew once more that he isn’t and might never be yours. 

He’ll change from now on, he says to himself as he swallows his pride and picks up his phone, pressing your contact starred favorite, a red heart at the end of your name. In the first ring he wishes you’ll pick up on the next, on the second he hoped you were just asleep, and when you didn’t pick up, he looks at himself in the mirror and wondered why tears had already graced his cheeks. 

He calls again, you pick up on the second ring. 

“Atsumu.”

As if the coldest wind breezed through him, a shiver runs down his spine and he could feel his throat dry. He couldn’t speak, refusing to accept that the person who picked up your phone is the very person he begged the universe you weren’t with right now. 

“What?” 

“Where is she?” 

“She’s asleep, why would you even call at this hour.” 

There was silence on the line, and from the other end of the call, Suna was sitting up, gazing at your peaceful features as he covers your exposed arm with the blanket that had slightly gone astray. He caresses your cheek gently with the back of his hand, as if the reminder of Atsumu had him on guard with you, instincts kicking in as he wanted to make sure you feel loved and safe with him even though you were asleep.

“Then are ya really… Ya aren’t right? Y’know y/n’s mine.” 

Just like that, Suna’s eyes drop cold, his hand leaving the side of your face. “We’re going out, I wouldn’t really consider the things we’ve done together platonic.” 

Before he could respond he hears your voice, from the sound of it—after having heard it a thousand times when he used to stay over at yours—you just woke up, he bets you were barely even awake at all. 

“Rin? C’mere,” you mumble.

The sound of the mattress shifting and the fluffing of pillows as you sit up and snuggle into Suna’s chest left him a lot to imagine. Despite the wreck it was all making inside his head, he couldn’t even bring himself to end the call. 

Suna had already abandoned your phone, presuming it had already ended as he diverts his full attention to you, looking down affectionately with love behind his dark eyes.

“Did I wake you?” He says in a small voice, yet the kiss he planted atop your head was something Atsumu could still hear, fingers shaking as his grip tightens on his phone. 

“’sokay, let me just sleep here,” you smile, kissing the crook of his neck as you close your eyes once more, already feeling yourself succumb to slumber. This was peaceful, your heart had never felt this in tuned with someone else’s, yet here in his dark room, under the warmth of his covers and the serenity of his bare body against yours, you knew you had finally wound up to where you belong. 

“Rin?” 

He hums in response, tracing his hand across your back as he too starts to fall asleep in your embrace. 

“I love you.”

Those words meant the world to one and torment to the other. 

“I love you, ‘Tsum! You fucking know that! And if you don’t want to let me go, why can’t you just love me too?” 

“Are ya sayin I don’t love ya?” 

“Then do you?” 

Like every fight wherein you had him cornered, he left you unanswered that night. He bitterly smiles, regretful and anguished. With four last words before hanging up the phone, he welcomes the pain of his loss, the loss he knew was coming because he just couldn’t treat you right. 

“I love you, y/n.” 

[halpertstuna]

Could you do 8 and 10 on the prompt list with JJ?

A/N: i’m so sorry it took me so long to answer, i’ve been pretty occupied lately and so i didn’t really have time to write and when i did it was for ‘someone to stay’, anyway, here it is i hope you’ll like it🥺

and PLEASE don’t hesitate to send me requests, questions, messages whatever you want. i would love to make friends and mutuals on this platform plus i love feedback and would really like to hear your opinions(:

also, this turned out way longer than i intended it to be, it was supposed to be a blurb but i guess i’m just gonna turn it into a whole ass imagine cause why not

-> prompt list <-

word count: 1,899 (oops... guess i got a bit carried away)

prompts: “i’m not jealous!”, “you’re hot when you’re mad”

pairing: jj x kook!reader

warnings: a pretty heated make out sesh, jealousy?, platonic Kie, Pope and John B. oh and typos probably.

btw, i was kinda in a rush to post this so please forgive me if it’s not that good, i’m too lazy to edit this again (and this is the first time i wrote something that’s kinda smutty? i mean this isn’t really smut but you get my point. don’t know how i feel about it), anyways, if you’ve made it this far in my insanely long intro congrats! enjoy <3

-> masterlist <-

(gif credit: @anakin-skywalker )

—

It’s been almost two years since you started attending the kook academy, almost two years since you became one of the pogues.

On your first day there you met a brown haired hippie chick named Kiara. The two of you had chemistry together and were paired by your teacher to be lab partners.

On your first encounter you didn’t really talk, and on the following couple of lessons it developed to only small talk and warm smiles if you saw each other in the hallway.

Kiara didn’t like kooks, even though technically she kind of was one.

Judging by the way you dressed and the people you surrounded yourself, she didn’t think you were really the type of person she’d get along with.

But when the two of you got assigned to do a project together, you instantly proved her wrong.

You met up with her at the wreck, the two of you talked about the project then yourselves and bonded almost immediately.

You revealed that you actually hated the people you usually associated with, thinking they were all fake, stuck up snobs with their heads way too far up their asses, and the only reason you hung out with them was your parents.

You turned out to be really reckless and funny which she wasn’t expecting at all, but she liked, it kind of reminded her of someone, her best friend, JJ.

She was quick to introduce you to the rest of the pogues and they welcomed you with open arms into their group. You instantly befriended them and vice versa.

Just as Kie suspected, you got along extra well with one particular blond.

The two of you had a lot in common; you were both hot headed and impulsive which often got you into trouble. You two were pretty competitive, always challenging one another.

You being so similar was the reason you got along so well, but it was also the reason you fought a lot, neither of you ever willing to admit you’re wrong or be the first one to apologize, but you couldn’t stay away from each other for too long. The sexual tension between you two could be cut with a knife.

Hungry glances, longing touches, needy desires that were transparent on both your faces.

Everyone on the island could see it but you. You were both so terribly oblivious.

You tried treating him like the rest of the pogues, you pushed your feelings for him to the back of your mind, thinking he was just being friendly, knowing he was a flirt, and for almost two years, it worked.

But seeing him flirt with Harleen tonight was literal torture.

Harleen was your neighbour and former best friend. A tall, tan brunette you hated with all of your heart.

The two of you have known each other since birth, you were practically inseparable, but as you grew up you noticed she always wanted what was yours, and she always did whatever it took in order to gain it. Whether it was the new shoes you got for your birthday which she bought herself the following day, or the guy you told her you liked in middle school the week prior to her dating him.

With time your friendship grew toxic and you felt like she was bad for you, constantly bringing you down and never caring.

So you decided to defriend her and ever since that moment you despised each other.

You were sat on a log beside Kie at a kegger, Pope next to her as they argued about god knows what. You tuned them out, far too focused on each and every one of JJ’s actions, watching as he whispered in her ear.

He probably said something funny since she started laughing, leaning forward and grasping his bicep for balance, which made your blood boil, you felt like history was repeating itself.

The grip on your red solo cup tightened, you stared and it seemed as if lasers were about to shoot out of your eyes and burn her pretty face off, but you diverted your gaze down to your hand, jumping up slightly when you felt a cool sticky liquid on your fingers, noticing you accidentally created a hole in your cup of beer with your milky white painted nails.

“Wow, what did the poor cup ever do to you?” Pope joked, his and Kie’s attention averted to you the second they heard a pop coming from your direction.

“Huh? Oh, well it didn’t tell me how pretty I look tonight, take that as warning sign” you trailed, trying not to look suspicious, “are you sure it isn’t because JJ told that to the girl beside him instead of you” she implied winking, causing Pope to cackle with laughter.

“What was that?” You asked rhetorically trying to act intimidating, “oh nothing” she gave you an innocent look.

“Anyways... i’m gonna go get a new drink” you swiftly stood up and started walking until you made out John B. from afar who was stood by the keg.

“Refill?” He questions once he spotted you making your way towards him.

You nodded “I accidentally poked mine” you admitted lifting the ripped cup in your hand and pursing your lips as you came to a stop beside him.

As he poured you a new cup of beer with the tap head connected to the keg by a tube, you searched the crowd with your eyes and focused your attention on JJ again.

You’ve seen him flirt with a countless amount of chicks before - kooks and torouns mainly, but none of those times pissed you off os much as seeing him flirt with Harleen did.

I mean he probably didn’t even like you back, so why where you so pissed? It wasn’t different from any other time, except that this was Harleen. She was a bitch. But he’d probably catch on quickly, right?

He placed his hands on her waist and you clenched your jaw at the sight grinding your teeth, you were irritated by the whole situation.

John B. noticed, a sly smile spreading slowly across his face.

“Hey, want some peanut butter with that jelly?” You turned to face him, a dumbfounded look on your face, “what are you talking about?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re obviously jealous”, he chuckled at the bewildered look on your face and you felt your cheeks heat up. “am not!” You denied huffing.

“Tell that to the vein popping out of your forehead” he teased.

You gasped and jabbed his chest playfully with your elbow, you mumbled a “shut up” then channeled your attention back to the two.

Her hands were rested on his chest, like that wasn’t enough already to send you off the edge. But when he pecked her cheek you lost it.

Abruptly you stormed off from where you were stood, John B. shouted from behind you “where are you going?“ but you ignored him.

When you approached JJ and Harleen you clutched onto his wrist dragging him away from her towards the chateau, ignoring both her and his protests. You led him inside then turned around to face him.

“Hey! What did you do that for? It was going really good for me! This better be an emergency” he sneered.

“Are you fucking serious? Out of all the people in the party you chose to hit on Harleen?” You scoffed.

“What’s the problem with that?” JJ was clueless, he knew nothing about your and Harleen’s rivalry. You never told any of the pogues, well except for Kie but she didn’t recognise her as the one flirting with JJ.

“The problem is Harleen hates my guts and the other way around. We used to be best friends but she became toxic, trying to take everything that I had and I’m not going down that road again JJ”

Your words confounded JJ, what did you care if she flirted with him? It wasn’t like he was yours, although he really wanted to be.

Does you caring about whether they end up together or not mean you wanted to be his too?

Then he noticed what emotion your eyes held, he’d never seen it before on your face, but he immediately recognised it.

“Wait.. are you jealous?” He questioned, the corners of his lips perking up into a smirk when he noticed the furious look on your face from his revolution.

“I’m not jealous! Would everyone please stop saying that?! I’m mad ok?!” You defend.

“Ok! Ok!” He surrendered lifting his hands up in the air “but just know, you’re hot when your mad”. Your mouth slightly agape as you weren’t able to form words to deny, far too transfixed under the fact he directly called you hot.

He started walking towards you slowly, you didn’t want to cave, to admit you have fallen for his charms, so you backed up until you felt your back gently hit the wall. Chest rising and falling quicker as your breathing started getting heavier and your heart beat faster.

The second his hand landed on your waist you felt a million butterflies erupt in your stomach, he tenderly stroked the exposed skin of your v line between your low cut shorts and crop top. You felt as if the skin under his finger was being set on fire.

He brought his other hand to rest beside your head on the wall, he leaned in, inches away from your face. His breath mingled with yours, fanning your lips, it smelled of cheap beer and weed.

He slowly moved to your ear and extolled in a low voice “I mean, really hot”, his warm breath sent shivers down your spine.

He left a sloppy, open mouthed kiss on the skin under your earlobe and you could’ve sworn you were seeing stars.

When he detached his lips you bit down on yours holding in a whimper at the loss of contact as he brought his face back to yours.

His blue orbs gazed into yours, they seemed darker than usual, lustful.

He waisted no more time and captured your lips with his. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back.

You wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled on the edges of his hair deepening the kiss. As your tongues fought for dominance, he brought his other hand to your ass and squeezed it causing you to moan, he took the chance and slipped his tongue in.

you tugged on the hem of his shirt and he got the message. He separated his lips from yours and within less then a second, practically tore it of his body and discarded it on the floor. The two of you were panting at this point, completely out of air but you didn’t care. Breathless, you reattached your lips to his, desperate to taste him again.

You caressed his much bigger length with your petite hand, signalling you wanted more and he groaned into the kiss.

“Up” he demanded mumbling agains your lips. You jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist, he grabbed your thighs and without breaking the kiss led you into the spare room.

Almost two years of yearning and craving dissolved in that night at the chateau, and to think it happened because of Harleen.

As much of a bitch as she was, you did owe her that.

[liv-laugh-die]

||Admiring|| 💖Miya Osamu x Gn!reader

trope: strangers meeting in the park (ik its random bear with me😭)

warnings: its not proofread all the way through (im sorry im tired), so theres probably grammatical errors or typos but other than that none

genre: fluff pretty much just sappy stuff

pairing/s: osamu x gn!reader

wc: about 2.5k

a/n: oh my god idk where i came up with this but i think its cute so :p i hope you enjoy!!

You stared at your blank computer screen, hope of finishing your assignment before its due date at midnight slowly vanishing. 

     The clock on your desk read 11:27pm, the green lines wavering in your vision as your eyes slowly drooped, trying to drag you into the depths of slumber. You wanted to sleep, you really did, but you knew there was no way you could give up writing your essay, even now, knowing you weren’t going to submit it on time, because you would stress too much about it if you didn’t at least try to complete it before the due date. 

     Pushing yourself away from your desk, your chair squeaking against the floor ever so slightly in your dead silent dorm room, you tried to think of some excuse that your professor might believe. You doubted there was anything you could think of, but hey, your professor was better than what your roommates’ had mentioned theirs being, and you were grateful for that. Maybe you could tell him that you were exhausted from working extra hours at your job since you had had to cover your coworker’s shift and that’s why you couldn’t complete your essay on time? Or, maybe you could get away with a simple “I was lacking interest in the material, and couldn’t understand anything, and I didn’t ask for help because I knew that you are such a busy man trying to do so many things at once. Another hopeless near college drop-out wasn’t something I thought you needed on your hands.”

     ....Maybe not the latter.

    You sighed, running a hand through your tangled hair, practically feeling it screaming at you to wash it. You barely had time in the mornings to take showers anymore, and when you took them at night, you never had the strength to wash your hair, always knowing that putting a hat on overtop or throwing on your hoodie would make it seem fine on the outside, and that was good enough for you. As long as you looked at least decent and somewhat presentable.

    Your dorm room was fairly small, like every other one, but the lack of furniture made it seem larger than the rest. Nothing more than you and your roommate’s joint desk, the mini fridge in the corner, and the beds filled the space. You almost tripped over your backpack lying next to the bunk bed pushed up against the wall, falling to what would’ve been inches away from your roommate’s sleeping body.

    In an attempt not to disturb them, you tiptoed through the room, stepping over the occasional heap of clothes or homework, until you reached the bathroom. You fumbled over the door knob before almost tumbling into the small space. Glancing in the mirror, you didn’t fail to notice your messy hair, the dark circles tracing beneath your eyes, or the way you looked like you were seconds away from passing out. The sound of running water rang in your ears as you turned on the sink faucet, cupping your hands together and bringing your face down to meet them, rubbing the cold water all over you in an attempt to keep you awake for just a few moments longer.

     Your eyes returned back to the mirror as you sighed at your dripping wet face. There was no way possible you were going to finish your assignment on time. You knew it, your roommate knew it before they passed out, and you had noticed your professor’s wary glance this morning in class as a sign that he knew it too.

     An idea sprang into your head, part of you dreading the optimism that seemed to seep through your brain slowly. You didn’t feel like being energetic right now.

---an hour later---

You weren’t exactly sure how, when, or why you decided it would be a good idea to take a shower (you did end up washing your hair, thank god), get your things together in your bag, and head to the off-campus coffee shop (since the one on-campus had already closed), but you found yourself with a warm cup of coffee in hand as you exited the shop, the cold midnight air enveloping you in an unwelcome embrace.

     You shivered. The only thing your spontaneous brain had forgotten had to have been your jacket, the one thing your normal brain would’ve remembered if it weren’t already past midnight and if you weren’t majorly sleep-deprived.

     You most certainly weren’t done with your essay yet, nor was there any possible way for you to finish it on time since it was now approximately thirteen minutes past the due time, but you let yourself breathe for now.

     There weren’t many people out at this hour, and it made the usual busy city streets seemed like a ghost town. There were a few restaurants still open as you strolled along the sidewalk, their lights responsible for illuminating more than half the area in front of you. You passed by an onigiri shop your friend had recommended to you, but you just weren’t that hungry. Most nights, you’d kill for a midnight snack, but your single shot of espresso coffee was satisfying your needs for now.

     You decided to head to the park after seeing a rabbit hop its way across the vacant street and into the bushes in that direction. The fresh air was nice and cool against your dry and croaky lungs, and your ears needed a different sound than that of you miserably attempting to touch type quickly, your fingers rapping against the keyboard with vigor.

     A stream nearby flowed softly, the dripping of the water against the rocks complimenting the noise of the crickets chirping in sync just downstream. Your footsteps cut through the grass slowly, not bothering to follow the stone path. The park was a nice change of scenery. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been here by yourself in peace, it was always you and your rambunctious friends who ran through every now and then just to see the dogs running through the sprinklers, or the occasional poor cat whose owner dragged them out into the daylight for exercise. This was peaceful, though, and you appreciated that.

     A few more rabbits crossed your path, giving you that wide-eyed, side glance before darting off into the darkness, outside the reach of the lampposts emitting light. The sound of the stream soon faded out as you continued to walk through the park, sipping your coffee every so often. The warmth from your cup was soon dying out, and you figured you’d have to start walking back to your university sooner or later. Maybe you could crash at your friend’s house who lived just off campus, though you had forgotten your phone back at your dorm and had no alarm, no laptop to complete your work, and no contact with anyone else who might worry where you’d be. You had really no choice but to trek back to your dorm in the darkness, cutting your peaceful visit to the park short.

     You let yourself have a few more minutes of stress free relaxing as you sat down on a bench just before the ground let out into a downhill slope overlooking the rest of the city below. The trees around you swayed in the breeze, and for a moment, you thought it was the wind talking, and not an actual human being who had somehow made his way beside you without gathering your attention.

     “Didn’t think anyone else would be up at this hour,” the stranger mumbled. You glanced up, almost startled that, indeed, someone else was actually awake and strolling through the park.

     The boy couldn’t have been much older than you were, maybe the same age. He had his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, the wind tousled his dark hair ever so slightly, and the moonlight played along, illuminating his face just so you could actually see how gorgeous he was.

     You cleared your throat, averting your eyes back to the ground as you shifted over, creating more space on the bench in case he wanted to sit down beside you. “I decided to actually take care of myself for once and give myself some time to breathe before facing the wrath of my professor tomorrow when he finds out I didn’t turn in my essay on time.” You let out a low, breathy chuckle, not exactly sure of what would happen next.

     The guy sat down on the bench next to you, though he made sure to give you some personal space, which you were grateful for. He laughed along with you a bit, and you could tell just from his tone just how tired he really was.

     You gave him a side glance, raising an eyebrow. “So, what the stressful thing that brought you here in the middle of the night?”

     He smiled half-heartedly, eyes trained on the moon. “Work stuff. Jus’ been busy, I guess.” He shrugged. 

     You waited for him to continue on, but he stayed silent. You didn’t complain, though. Wasn’t your whole reason for coming out here in the dead of the night for some quiet? Plus, it wasn’t awkward either. You were comfortable sitting next to this stranger.

     “What do you do for work?” You waited a little longer than necessary to ask, but he didn’t seem to mind the long pause.

     “I own a restaurant a few blocks away. I love the job, it’s just tiring havin’ to deal with rude customers like my brother who won’t get the hint and get out sometimes. I got into an argument with him earlier today and he just wouldn’t shut it.” He rolled his eyes and took his hands out of his pockets, making eye contact with you as he went on about his day, and you couldn’t help but smile at his passion. “The guy thinks he can just walk in when I’m working with a new employee and just act like he runs the place! Quite stupid if you ask me. Such a jerk, he is. Thinkin’ about just banning him from the place, really.” 

     You snorted. “He really bugs you that much, huh?”

     The guy smirked at your laugh, admiring it, though you would never had guess that was what flashed across his face in a million years. He nodded. “Yeah, ‘course I love ‘im ‘cause he’s my twin and my best friend, but he really knows how to annoy the hell outta me.” He shrugged. “Maybe I’ll just get a sign in the window that says “no shirt, no shoes, no service” and cross it out and write my brother’s name instead,” he reasoned, and the pondering look in his eyes made you wonder if he was actually considering the idea.

     You smiled. “You’re funny.”

     “You say that like ya weren’t expectin’ it.”

     A laugh made its way out your lips. “Well, when you’re approached by a stranger in the middle of the night you sort of expect the worst.”

     The guy glanced off in the distance, away from you, furrowing his eyebrows. “Sorry, didn’t think of that comin’ off that way.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Guess it’s a good thing I’m funny then, and not some creep, eh?”

     You nodded, the smile on your face not fading as he changed topics.

     “So, what’s your essay on? Any way I can help ya finish it?”

     You shook your head dismissively. “Oh, no. It was due thirty minutes ago.” You quickly explained the topic you were writing about in class before getting side tracked. “My professor had said he would allow it to be turned in the next morning, but I doubt he actually meant it.”

     He smiled a wide grin, making butterflies flutter in your stomach. “You go to the university nearby, right?” 

     You nodded in confirmation, raising an eyebrow. “If I’ve got any luck, there’s a chance you go there too?”

     He laughed a little, shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t, sorry. I’ve visited campus a few times because some of my friends go there, but I just usually focus on work.”

     His gaze was tilted upwards towards the sky, and you couldn’t help but admire how the exhaustion still shone in his eyes, but somehow that same passion gleamed there too just mentioning what he did for a living. You wished you were that passionate about something that would actually support you financially in the future and make you happy.

     When he glanced back at you, you were still taking his essence in, and he made a look of confusion. “What?”

    You shook your head, chuckling. “Nothing. I just admire that you can dedicate yourself to something and make it seem so easy.” He looked at you, interested to hear what you had to say, even though you were sure you couldn’t be the first person to tell him this. “I haven’t even known you for more than ten minutes and I can already tell you’re passionate about what you do and if you’re stressed about it, it must mean you’re dedicated to seeing your work through, and that’s more than enough to admire and appreciate, especially when that can be so difficult sometimes.” You finished your short tangent, looking back up at him to see him staring intently at you, seemingly in awe of what you’d just said. You felt a blush creep onto your face as you quickly blurted out, “Sorry- I didn’t mean to be so straightforward and weird like that- I sound like some crazy secret admirer or something...”

     The crickets chirped in the silence between the two of you, and it felt like it would never end.

     “Y’know, I wouldn’t mind havin’ a secret admirer. I mean, wouldn’t be so secret, but...” You saw the smile creep up onto his face. “It’s nice being appreciated. Nobody really tells me that kind o’ stuff, so... thanks, I guess.” 

     The heat on your cheeks didn’t go away by any means, but you grew more comfortable with it as you mumbled, “Maybe I wouldn’t mind admiring you.”

     Now, it was the boy’s turn to blush, and you smiled at how his cheeks grew redder with every passing second, and how his subtle grin spoke a thousand words he didn’t need to say.

     “Miya Osamu.” The boy’s hand came into your view as he extended it for you to shake. “I own Onigiri Miya across from the grocery outlet.”

     You smirked, grasping his hand in yours as you said, “L/N Y/N. I own an official license for being a horrible driver and an ID that proves I’m a sleep-deprived college student and that’s about it.”

     He laughed, shaking your hand and standing up, letting go too soon for your liking.

     Because for some weird reason, his hand felt right in yours.

     Osamu said a quick goodbye, mentioning something about how he should get going and how you should get some sleep before he disappeared down the stone path back into the darkness.

     You stood up not too long after he’d left, your coffee now entirely cold as you plopped the half full cup into the trash can on your walk back to your dorm, not needing the pathetic warmth anymore. Your heart was beating fast and the feeling of Osamu’s hand resting in yours lingered on your palm, and that kept you warm enough.

     Maybe you’d be visiting that onigiri place your friend recommended to you a little sooner than you’d originally planned, and maybe more often than you would’ve expected.

[prettybiching]

jon ossoff + celebratory sex after he's sworn in?

Home To You

Pairing: Jon Ossoff x Senator!fem!reader

Read Part One HERE 

Warning: 18+ mature scenes, oral (male receiving), unprotected sex, swallowing cum, slight rough sex, angst, mentions of death, insurrection and angry mob. Let Me know if I missed something!

Word Count: 4,325 words

Note: There’s probably so many typos in this because I wrote this on a shitty laptop, sorry about that. Hope you guys enjoy teehee xoxo.

It's strange how quickly life moves. One moment you were in bed, with a man you were head over heels infatuated with, tucked in safely beneath his arms and the next, you were running for your life, ducking behind pillars, holding onto your breathe inside the United States Capitol. 

Jon had almost begged to take an earlier flight out to DC to be there with you as you tried to process the horrors of the day you had experienced. You, however, insisted he stayed back and continue with his original schedule.

Yes, you did want him beside you during these difficult times. When you'd wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweat because your mind had replayed the events of the insurrection, the gunshot you'd heard, a narrow miss from the mob, all the moments that would be embedded in you forever. You wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, safe and secure, far away from the horrors of what you had experienced. You craved to tell him just about everything you had come to realise while in your moment of terror. 

You knew Jon would not hesitate to fly down to DC for you, but you knew you couldn't be selfish, not when the country's government was already in a fragile state, divided to its core. Jon already had a storm waiting for him when he'd take office, and you weren't about to give the Republicans any more ammunition. You weren't going to allow Jon to suffer as you had done when you came into office.

The two of you remained in close contact throughout Jon's transition period, mostly because the insurrection had invoked a new burning flame for the both of you. 

Jon had grown worried sick, knowing that you were inside the building, knowing that the violent mob wanted to kill you and they wouldn't hesitate if they spotted you. Every time the media reported an injury, a gunshot, he held onto his breath, praying it wasn't you. Unlike other lawmakers who were able to stay in contact with their families throughout the lockdown, your phone had died, merely minutes after you texted Jon and your family.

In case I don't make it, I need you to know you've meant the world to me.

You hadn't told him, so as not to encourage his bid to fly out to you but you'd thought about Jon, for so long when a Capitol police officer escorted you and Senator Booker to the safety bunker. When your brain had finally received enough oxygen to think, your mind could only form images of the moments you had spent with Jon. 

Never in a million years had you expected to be so infatuated with him when you flew down to Georgia for the runoff elections. You'd told yourself not to bat an eye every time he smiled at you, made a charming comment or made you laugh. However, he had a way of making everyone fall in love with him. You were no exception.

Your heart clenched at the thought of never seeing him ever again. What if you died before telling him just how much he meant to you? You had to, at the least, tell him how proud you were of him and how bright the future ahead of him was. 

Life seemed so vulnerable at that moment. You wished you had hugged Jon a little longer, memorised his face a little closer, savoured the taste of his lips a bit more. You shouldn't have taken so long to act on your feelings. If you were to die today, the only memory you'd have would be of the night before.

Jon, he was all you could think about, his name calming your frantic heart just a little. God, you wanted to hear his voice, you wanted to hear him say your name, reassure you that you'd meet him once again that you'd get to love him just a little longer. 

As much as you wanted to spill your heart out to him, you knew you couldn't and would never do it over the phone. You needed him to be in front of you, free to feel and touch when you told him just how much you loved him. 

When Jon arrived in DC, the night before his swearing-in and the inauguration of Joe Biden, he knew it would be impossible for the two of you to meet as you both had crucial tasks at hand. You two would see one another in the Capitol on the morning of the inauguration. 

You felt jittery as you walked down the halls of the Capitol once again. The sound of your heels hitting the tiles echoed throughout the empty floor, your eyes were focused on the plaques hanging on the walls, carefully scanning them to find the name you were searching for. A proud smile tugged onto your lips as you spotted the shiny new golden plaque hanging by the mahogany door.

Your heart began to hammer against your ribcage as you racked your knuckles against the hardwood door. When the door was opened, you were met with Jon's astonished face, his brows at first knitting together in confusion before his eyes grew wide, his mouth hanging wide open.

You are unable to get a word out before he's pulling you into a bone-crushing hug, his hands wrapped tightly around your waist as if scared that you'd fade away from existence. A giggle escapes your lips as sink into his embrace. You couldn't help but nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, taking in the scent of his aftershave, enjoying the feeling of the short curly strands above his neck and the way he held onto you.

You swore you could've cried then and there.

"Jon?" you called out after a few moments, your voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt. He hums, making not attempt of pulling away. "I think we should move."

You don't mean to laugh,  but you do as he makes a noise of protest, only to tighten his arms around you, swaying your conjoined bodies sideways. You don't want to let go either, but there are so many other things you wanted to be doing with him as well. Not to forget his limited number of staffers were also inside his office, undoubtedly staring at the two of you in bewilderment.

"Okay..." you lift your head from his neck, tapping your hands on his back to make him move as well. "Jon?" you poked, the movements of your hands getting more frantic. "Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon, Jonnnnnnn----"

"Okay, okay, I'm pulling away," he finally lets go of your waist, the action instantly filling you with coldness from the removal of his body heat. He feigns annoyance towards you, and you can't help but giggle. You'd missed his silly antics, but more importantly, you'd missed him.

You don't waste another second, grasping onto his freshly pressed baby blue shirt and pulling him down into a tender kiss. He's quick to respond, his hands finding their way to your cheeks, holding you in place as he moved his lips against you with fervour. You could feel the desperation in his movements. What had started as an innocent longing kiss was turning into a heated reminder of the two of you had been missing. 

You part your lips for a second, long enough for him to push his tongue into your mouth, eliciting a moan from you. 

As if a bell had rung in your head, you instantly pull away, your cheeks feeling as if they were on fire, your eyes blown as you attempted to catch your breath.

"Did-did I do something wrong?" he tilts his head in confusion, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip. He's looking at you with those puppy eyes that you'd come to adore and you swear you're about to faint. 

"No!" you're quick to retort, extending both of your hands in front of you, shaking your head frantically. "We just--your staff is right there," you point inside the office where his young staffers pretended as if they weren't there. 

"Oh," is all he says, rubbing the back of his neck in realisation, his head hanging low, his cheeks flushing bright red. "Right."

Your lips split into a toothy grin, enjoying his flustered state. You want to continue this, but you know the two of you don't have much time. You would be required on the Capitol Hill balcony for the inauguration, and there you would have to act as if you aren't head over heels in love with Senator-elect of Georgia.

"What? You're not going to introduce me to your team?" you tease, poking his side. When he finally looks up, he's still blushing deep red, and the sight makes your heart flutter just a little more, to see the effect you have on him.

"Right, come on in."

You greeted the young staffers, some only a few years younger than you with a smile on your face, hoping to encourage them in their new venture. These people would help shape policies and pieces of legislation that would go on to shape the future of your nation. 

They took notice of the thick atmosphere, having witnessed you and Jon cross the boundary of being just colleagues. They were quick to move out of your way, leaving you both alone in his office. 

Wordlessly, you strolled through the room, running a hand along with his desk, taking in your surrounding. His office was structured almost identical to yours and the only thing making it seem different was the interior. "Nice office you got here," you smirked, tilting your head towards Jon who watched you with his hands stuffed inside his pockets.

"Thanks, I got it with the job," he laughed, taking a seat behind the desk. His suit jacket was left hanging on the coat stand by the door, and your eyes caught the navy blue patterned tie he was wearing.

You strut towards him, towering over his figure and instinctively his hands reached forward to thread his fingers onto yours. "I like your tie."

"What can I say? My girlfriend has good taste," he shrugs, pretending as if his words didn't just ignite a fire in you.

"Since when did I become your girlfriend?" you laugh, a stark contrast to the frantic beating of your heart. He squeezed your hands, and you liked how easily his palm fitted against yours. 

"W-would you like to be?" you have to bit your bottom lip to keep yourself from smiling, he looked at you with those big puppy eyes, a hint of nervousness underlying beneath. 

Untangling your hands, you lowered yourself onto his lap, careful not to crease your pantsuit and overcoat too much. His hands settled on your hips, holding you in place. You lean forward until both of your foreheads are touching, his warm breath fanning over your face, your eyes fluttering shut.'

"It's going to be very complicated," you murmured after a few seconds, your eyes still closed. 

"I'm willing to work for it."

You have no doubt about that. You'd walk through hell and back to experience your future with him, just like envisioned it during the insurrection. However, things weren't as straightforward.

"It could sabotage both of our careers," you retorted, lifting your head just slightly to meet his eyes. His eyes were looking at you with such delicacy, you didn't want to talk--talk about the consequences of your actions but just kiss him and keep kissing him until the world around you both disappeared.

"It won't," he answered firmly, squeezing your hips, your hands caressed his jawline, brows knitting together. "We will be okay. We can make it work--"

"We can't be selfish, Jon," you said, no matter how painful it was to say it. "We have a duty to our people, and if we do this we'll have to hide our relationship from the world, we would have to lie---"

"Do you want this?" He cut off your rambling with a simple question that had the gears in your mind turning. 

You did, of course, you did. You wanted nothing more than to be with Jon.  He was all you could think about when you thought you were going to die, when you heard those gunshots and when you were stuck in that bunker with all those Republicans. 

"Yes, yes I do," you answered firmly.

"Then let's just do this, for us. Forget about everyone else for now. It's only you and me. Okay?"

"Okay."

Then he's smiling at you in a way he had never done before, so bright, he could blind the sun itself, and it makes you giggle. You liked seeing him in this way, so unlike the public political demeanour, he carried with himself all the time. This Jon was reserved only for you. 

He leans forward, closing the short gap between the two of you, pulling you into a kiss. 

That spell is broken when your phone begins to ring in the pocket of your coat, making you pull away from him, both of you breathless and panting.

"Yeah, okay, I'll be out in a second."

"It's time to go," you tell Jon, helping yourself out of his lap before he pushes himself off his chair.

The two of you don't have time to utter another word as Beverly is waiting outside the door with two security agents. You're about to go your way when Jon calls out your name, making you turn towards him.

"I never got to tell you just how gorgeous you look today."

With that, he turns away, leaving you in a puddle. 

You enter the balcony first, with Beverly right behind you. Ignoring the cameras panning on you, you scan the area for some of your more favourable colleagues. You meet the eyes of Elizabeth Warren who beckons you towards her and just as you're about to move, you feel a hand slip into yours. 

You knew just who it was by the way his hands fit into yours, his touch so familiar. 

Your head snaps to the side, staring at Jon in bewilderment. Did he really just out the both of you in front of everyone. He's not even sworn in yet, and he's already gone crazy, you think.

"What the fuck?"

Jon dares to wink at you, walking alongside you with a smugness that you had come to familiarise yourself with over the past few months. "How can I not tell the world that I'm lucky enough to be with you?"

If it were any other time, you would've found yourself flustered at his comment, but now, you could only roll your eyes. He could really be one cocky motherfucker when he wants to be.

He takes note of your tensed shoulders and squeezes your hand, reassuring you. "Just relax. It's only you and me, remember?"

Sucking in a deep breath, you nod in agreement. At least there is one less thing to worry about now.

-----

With your relationship now out in the open, there was no reason for you miss his swearing-in ceremony. You joined your dear friend and colleague, Cory Booker as he escorted Jon into the Senate Chamber with Reverend Raphael Warnock and Alex Padilla beside him. 

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about Ossoff, Y/L/N," Cory said in disbelief. "I mean yeah, you two looked adorable during his campaign, but damn, I thought we were friends."

You roll your eyes, knowing he was going to bring it up every chance he got from now on. "It kind of just happened."

"Hmm. You're still not forgiven."

You're by the gallery with the two other spouses, a proud beaming smile on your lips---hidden by the mask. You have to stop the joyful tears from spilling, but you're just so goddamn happy as he's called in by Vice President Harris. 

He catches your eye as he's walking towards the podium, sending a wink at your way, making you erupt into giggles. He knew you were a blubbering mess underneath and he was going to make the most out of your reaction later on. 

You have to stop yourself from jumping on your feet when he's done taking his oath, and Kamala Harris congratulating him.

You run down from the gallery as fast as your heels allow you to move and you leap into Jon, him catching you in his arms with ease. He's laughing against you, his laugh resonating through his chest.

You pull back slightly, bringing your mouth near his ear and in a low, sultry tone you whisper, "Congratulations, Senator."

His grip around your waist tightens, squeezing your side as if warning you to behave. Ignoring him, you pull down your mask to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Just wait till I get you alone."

Oh, but you can't wait.

-------  

Despite Jon telling you to be on your best behaviour, he's the first one to break. As soon as the two of you are out of the public eye, his hands are all over you, his mouth trailing sloppy kisses onto your neck, attempting to push down the fabric of your crisp white shirt beneath.

"Have I told you just how sexy you look when you're acting all bossy and shit?" he murmurs between kisses, a slight moan escaping your lips. Your fingers tangle themselves into his hair, ruffling his styled locks back to its original form, just the way you liked them.

"Mhmm," your eyes are fluttered shit, your body supported only by Jon's hold on you. If he were to remove his arms, you'd drop down onto the floor in no time. 

"You better get used to it," you manage to word out, overwhelmed by the feeling of his lips all over you. He moves his mouth from your neck, up your throat, feeling your pulse against his lips. You notice as he places on longing kiss over that spot.

"I can't wait."

The two of you were in the lobby of your apartment complex, your humble abode just a few doors away. If anyone was to walk out of one of those doors, the sight greeting them would be anything but appropriate. You knew the right thing to do would be to pull away from Jon and wait until both of you are inside before continuing with your rendezvous. 

But he is insatiable, the spell he has you under in unbreakable, and the last thing you want is to be away from his touch, not when you'd thought you could never experience it again.

Your mind is foggy, his mouth still exploring every inch of your skin he's able to find when you're trying to unlock the door to your apartment. "God fucking damn it," you mutter in frustrating, making Jon chuckle against your skin.

As soon as you get the door open, presses you against the door, your head hitting the doorframe with a soft thud. His head falls back to your neck, planting sloppy wet kisses, between small bites. Meanwhile, your hands grip onto his suit jacket, attempting to pull it off of him.

"Take it off," you order as he kisses his way up your neck. 

He detaches himself for a second, following your command. You take the time to rid yourself of your overcoat, throwing it across the room. 

When the two of you meet once again, he finds your lips, pushing his tongue in your mouth, groaning your name. When he pulls back for air, your lipstick is smudged, staining his mouth and both of your lips swollen. His eyes are darkened with lust, the view giving you an idea.

In a fluid motion, you drop down onto your knees, your eyes landing on his hardened bulge restrained by his pants.

You bit your lips, your mouth water and you look up at him with big doe eyes. "You deserve a congratulatory gift."

His hands find themselves into your hair, gripping onto your locks enough to guide your movements. "I'm all yours, sweetheart."

With that, your hands dart to the zipper, undoing it in one swift motion,  pulling his pants down along with his boxers. 

Your hands wrap themselves around his shaft, you dip your head down, licking off his precum with kitten licks while looking at him through hooded eyes. 

He lets out a groan, throwing his head back the moment your tongue met his tip, sending a shiver down his spine. "God...you know just how to work your mouth don't you?"

He reaches his hands forward to cup your jaw as you wrap your lips around his head, his thumb caressing your cheeks while you sucked swirled your tongue around his shaft. 

Your mouth left his cock, your hands still pumping and twisting him, keeping him in a state of euphoria while you turned your head to the side, kissing the palm of his hand. 

"Did you miss me, did you think about my hands wrapped around your cock like this?" he moaned at your words, watching you intensely, his lustful eyes worshipping you as you licked up his pointer and index finger before sliding them into your mouth. You sucked on his fingers, tongue licking the pads of his fingertips before swallowing his digits until your lips grazed his knuckles.

Jon watched intently, his fingers going in and out between your lips and glistening with your saliva. He could feel the blood rushing downwards, making his cock twitch as if he wasn't already aroused. 

You felt him shift against you, making you smirk. You let go of his fingers with a sloppy pop and dive your mouth back onto his swollen length. You sucked and slurped around his girth with quick bobs of your head, hand stroking and twisting the rest, matching the rhythm. 

"Fuck...don't stop," he groans, the grip of his hands on your hair tightening, giving you light pushes down onto his cock. 

You moaned, swallowing him deeper with each push, letting his tip kiss the back of your throat repeatedly, going in deeper and deeper until your gag reflex kicked in and pushed him out. 

With your hand still rubbing and squeezing him up and down, you take a deep breath when you have the chance, gulping and swallowing the mixture of your drool and his salty precum all the while staring at him with large innocent eyes. He lets out a growl at the sight of your swollen lips.

Lewd sounds filled the room as you squeeze and jerk his wet length tighter with each pump.  He bucked his hips towards your face, you could feel his muscles tense up as he was getting closer to his release. His hand held you in place while he fucked you into his mouth with erratic thrusts. 

He lets out a groan before hissing at the feel of your mouth, "Open up for me, sweetheart---oh, fuck."

Pulling out a couple seconds before he cums, he pumps himself his tip on your tongue, his body shivering and twitching slightly as he shot his load into your mouth.  

His chest heaved as he watched you stand back on your heels while playing with cum on your tongue and lips.

"God, you're just perfect, aren't you?" he lets out a breath, staring at you with adoration. 

Swallowing everything in your mouth, you smirk, leaning forward to wrap your arms around his neck, planting a chaste kiss on his Adam's apple.

"Fuck me, Ossoff."

He doesn't need another word before he lifts you from the ground, carrying you to your bedroom and almost throwing you onto the bed.

He kneels in front of you as you unbutton your pants and he pulls them down, leaving you only in your white shirt. He parts your legs open, finding your soaking wet panties. In a swift motion, he rips them of you, making you gasp.

He slides his fingers over your clit a few times, spreading the wetness before he lays above you before holding his growing erection near your entrance. Without a warning, he shoves himself in, feeling your warm and wet walls clenching around him immediately. Your fingernails dig into the fabric of his shirt as he entered you.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so tight..."

He doesn't give you much time to adjust, ramming his cock deep into you while holding you down on the mattress at your shoulders. With each quick, rhythmic thrust, a loud moan escapes your mouth.

"You like this, huh? you like the feeling of me deep inside of you?"

"Yesss, oh my god, yes," you whimper, your pelvic muscles tightening, making him groan animalistically.

"Turn around on all fours."

You turned around, crawling on all fours. Jon plunged back into you from behind, grabbing your hips against him, hitting your cervix. You keep on chanting his name in gasps. Meanwhile, his eyes never looked away from where the two of you met. The noise of your moans, the clapping of flesh and wet folds filled the silence.

He pounds into you, his movements sloppy as you feel his cock pulsate. The two of you are moaning loudly, your breaths coming out ragged and the coil tightened in your stomach, ready to snap any time.

'Fuck--Jon. I'm-I'm gonna cum," you cried out in pleasure.

Jon began playing with your clit, rubbing quick circles and that additional action along with his rough thrusts was enough for you to reach your climax. You screamed into the mattress tightening around his cock, while he still pushed in and out of you, only to spill himself inside you a few moments later. 

A few hours later when the two of you are tangled between the bedsheets, free of any clothing, you trace patterns onto his cheeks, a warm smile tugged on your lips as he watched you with endearing eyes.

"What's that smile for?"

You shook your head, your grin growing wider. "I'm just happy to be home to you."

[queerprayers]

I have kind of an odd question - do you believe that we're fully pardoned of our sins through faith alone? I've struggled w that a lot - in the church I grew up in, we were taught that. But a respected member of my church committed a really horrific crime when I was quite young, and he died immediately after. It's really shaken my faith ever since - I don't really believe in Hell, but how could someone who has done that go to heaven through faith alone? Thank you and sorry this is so dark lol

This isn’t an odd question at all, and I’m sure other people have similar questions! Sorry for taking a few days to get to this ask. (Also, sorry if there are any typos or weird organization in this post; I'm having trouble today with health issues.)

I genuinely believe that we are all saved. I talked about this a little more in this post:

“I don’t think anyone’s going to hell. I think we’ll all be saved. This is crazy to a lot of people! That’s ok! But I thought I might as well mention this because it’s important to me:

We are saved by grace. Not by what we do or how we love or how good of a Christian we might be. We’re saved because God loves us. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t do good things and love others and strive to be good Christians. But it means that even if we fail at these things, we are welcomed into God’s eternal love.

I believe hell is the state of being in God’s eternal love but not being able to accept it. . . . We’re all welcomed, it’s just whether we choose to be welcomed. Being loved by God but not wanting to be probably feels like fire, probably feels like burning and abandonment.

We just need to learn to let God in, and we will be saved. On earth and in heaven. Amen.”

(For context, that was to someone worrying about whether their Muslim friend was going to heaven. But you aren’t asking for that comfort. And I totally get that!)

It looks like you have two separate questions: Are we pardoned of our sins through faith alone? and Can someone get to heaven through faith alone?

I’ve definitely struggled with this. How can we denounce evil people, but believe they’re going to heaven? Why would we want to be in a heaven with evil people? What’s the point of being a good person if we all end up with God anyway?

I won’t pretend to have an easy (or even a complete) answer to this. But here’s some haphazard thoughts:

It's easy to tell ourselves, "Oh, it's okay if someone makes a mistake or does something wrong. God will forgive us!" But when we think about what that means? The scope of sin? It becomes a lot harder to say that. Getting our head around the fact that Jesus died for every single one of us and that we're supposed to love our enemies is very intense.

I think the difference between atoning for our sins on earth and being welcomed in heaven are separate issues!

There are evil people, people that we could never feel safe around, people that have never once felt sorry for their actions. I do believe Jesus has called us to care for them and love them (not in a personal relationship way, but in a valuing their humanity way) and that's so effing hard. That hurts. That feels like a betrayal of our moral standards.

Prison abolitionists and other people working for transformative justice talk about this concept: caring for people and giving people resources decreases crime. I think in the same way we can say that loving people helps them sin less. Loving sinners will help their futures.

But what about your situation? This person is dead. They don't have a chance to change their behavior or atone for their faults. The easy answer is that now it's only up to God. We can't do anything for or about this person.

But that's not enough, is it? We want to know. We don't want God to work in mysterious ways. And sometimes, in parts of ourselves we might not want to admit, we want revenge. We want to see the people we've hurt punished. The author of Psalm 91 asks God to "repay to the proud what the deserve!"

Okay, so how can we denounce evil people, but think they're going to heaven? I mean, I do both every day-- I definitely look to the Bible and see how evil leaders are constantly being torn down and denounced and even killed, and also how all God's children are loved. That tension is crazy! It's been very healing to me, though, especially when people I love make mistakes or when I used to think that, because I was queer, I was irredeemably evil. But we can't have that comfort without also having the hurt that comes with realizing this applies to others too.

Why would we want to be in a heaven with evil people? Well, God's love will transform us. There we will be justice and atonement and radical change in heaven. There will be peace, I promise. We want to be in a heaven with people who were evil on earth because otherwise, what would be the point of preaching radical forgiveness and love? What would be the point of believing in an all-powerful God if they couldn't transform evil into good?

What's the point of being a good person if we all end up with God anyway? My old pastor had a really interesting metaphor: Imagine that your spouse loved unconditionally, for real. And they said, I don't care how many people you cheat on me with, I just want you to come at the end of the night. So you could do whatever you wanted in that relationship. You could sleep with a million people. But why would you want to? If you knew your spouse loved you that much, why would you ever betray that? Besides the fact that this obviously isn't an example of a healthy human relationship, this really showed me what sin is. We can do whatever evil we want, and faith will save us. But why would we want to? We don't have to be a good person, but I would rather be with God on earth and in heaven, instead of just in heaven. The person you're talking about didn't fully experience God's love on earth, and betrayed God's love, but he's with God's love now at the end of the night. But we can do better. We can be with God in the here and now. We're lucky to have more chances.

Okay, conclusion: It would be easy for me to say that you should forgive them and move on. But that's not how this works. My advice: let yourself feel those emotions, no matter how ugly. Remember that there is a holy tension between God's anger and justice and God's love. Give yourself time. Give love to people in your community so that perhaps they won't turn to the same evil that you saw in that person.

Here's a video from The Bible Project about Justice that's really helped me.

I don't really know if I've given you any answers, but I hope at least you know that you're not alone in struggling with this. <3

- Johanna

[jenivi7]

First Lines Tagging Meme

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE TAGGED IN THIS TWICE!  Thank you @ink-flavored and @clyde-side !! (I almost just did this on my own too because I love babbling about my own fics...)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line.

Now pinned and under a cut because it became a really long, really good introduction to me and my stories! 

Hello!

Unnecessary and overly wordy introduction/personal musings: I love opening lines so much. When I worked at a bookstore, I used to open books and hardcore judge them on their first lines. I had barely any free time to read at that point so if it didn’t grab me in the first line or two, I put it back. The first Harry Potter book is actually in my pile of really good openers. “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” (Subtle alliteration, HELLO??) So I'm super excited to see if my own first lines come even close to the standards that I apply to other people lol. MY OWN MONEY IS ON NO. I have the feeling that I'm so frantic trying to get the story down on paper before the good words disappear from my head that I'm not actually paying attention to the first line. BUT LET'S SEE, SHALL WE.

So just straight up going backwards, I've written and posted TWO BRAND NEW THINGS after being away from fandom almost entirely for 10+ years! They're drabble length but they're shiny and new! <3 (All available fics are linked!)

1. Tango:

She teaches them to dance so that they can dance with her but when Atem gets that mischievous smirk on his face and pulls Yugi into his arms, their bodies spark and the dance floor smolders at their heels.

(The fic is so short that this is a full 1/5 of it but actually, I think I crammed all the good stuff right into that first line. This already might be my favorite. Like it says there in the line itself, Puzzleshipping.)

2. No Betting:

Anzu sat at the kitchen table writing carefully calculated answers onto sticky notes before attaching them to a fourth-grade math worksheet.

(Peachshipping! This one doesn't pop off until about line five so here's the rest of that bit:)

She had the same arrangement with her spouse as most parents had. When the kids were good they were hers. When they were bad, they were his. And when they were winning at games because they picked up rules with uncanny speed and read their opponents with more insight than ought to be available to a child, they were definitely, definitely his.

3. If you wanted honesty that's all you had to say (working title):

When he realized that the figure sitting under the game shop display window and smoking wasn’t Ryou, the physical body response was as though it had discovered a coiled snake not two feet away.

(This one! It's a NEW half finished(?) WIP. I actually started this one before the drabbles but wanted to finish before posting it. Then it got out of hand, then work got out of hand, then I started a couple more projects and well. I keep putting words on it though and eventually there will be a Kleptoshipper that turns into Puzzle and Tender for your reading enjoyment. Also, fair warning - don't use song lyrics as a working title. Every time I look at the document I get the song stuck in my head.)

Now we have polished up reposts of old stories for their move to AO3, where I'll basically keep my master archive. Not full re-writes but I fixed a bunch of typos and awkward sentences and they're much stronger for it. Most of these are from a pairings contest way back when so LOTS of different pairings and lots of AUs!

4. Human:

It was like a bad noir, the thought crossed both of their minds.

(Scifi AU, Rivalshipping. That one's not bad for a first line. Actually no link at the time of writing cause the re-edit is going up in like, a half hour? an hour? a half day? It's my next project after finishing this, finishing up the edit and posting it on AO3. Now with link!)

5. Blood:

Fingers through midnight black hair, whispers in his ear, touches that sizzled along the skin, awakening nerves and senses. 

(Dungeonshipping, Pegasus x Otogi, vampires AU. Oh that’s a nice first line! <3)

6. Crazy for You:

The keys are too large and too heavy for the doctor more used to more modern facilities but she doesn't say anything, just follows the orderly as he pulls the large door open.

(Manipulashipping, Anzu x Marik, Psychward AU. Still one of my favorites from that era. Big bold warning though, THIS ONE CONTAINS NON-CON)

7. Finality:

“What are you doing here?”

“Saying goodbye.” Bakura’s translucent arms swept across the graveyard. “Is this not an appropriate place for it?”

(First two or so bits of dialogue as the first first is a generic question. You can tell this is one of the really old ones just by that but it's a sweet, sad little Tendershipper that still has a special place in my heart.)

8. Pieces of You:

Glitter caught the light, leaving shimmering trails in the air as it got everywhere.

(Glittershipping, Anzu x Kisara. Another one that's special to me. Kisara is my girl and my first writing muse. <3)

9. Cambodia:

“It was summer of fifty three...”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, it can't have been fifty three. You might be that ancient but I'm not. It must have been sixty three.”

(Jiishipping. Yes. Sugoroku x Arthur. HEY, IT CAME UP IN THE RANDOM DRAW FOR THE SHIPPING CONTEST OK. And my writer's brain hasn't backed down from a challenge yet... Another one that takes 4 lines to pop off but it's a good start. Actually, here's the rest of the bit just because I cannot get enough of these two bickering:)

“What do you mean it must have been sixty three? You don't even know what story I'm trying to tell.”

“Am I in it?”

“What?”

“So you're deaf now as well as daft? AM I IN IT?”

“Of course you're in it, y'old coot. Don't know why I'd tell a story without you in it when both grandkids are sitting here.”

10. Coffee and Cigarettes:

"Cigarettes and coffee? That's not a very healthy lunch." 

Mana crossed her legs and took a refined sip of her own coffee even as her company was not. 

(Mischiefshipping, Mana x Thief King Bakura. Oh this one I'm actually sad that it doesn't immediately sparkle in the first line cause it's one of my absolute favorites of everything I've written. And I think it's the only time I've ever written Mana but I LOVED IT AND HER. Oh no! I lied, I've written her at least one other time though I don't think that one quite captures her sheer chaos energy like this one does.)

11. A Million Missed Chances:

Somewhere along the line, someone made a choice.

(This one. THIS ONE. I think this is by far the most epic idea I've tackled. I still don't know if the sheer scale of the thing came across in the actual fic but in my head it was massive and I remember pounding away at my teeny tiny laptop late at night because the whole thing hit me maybe a day or so before the story was due for the pairings contest. We only had a week to write each fic and my really good ideas never came to me before the very last minute. T.T Conquestshipping, Mai x Valon.)

12. A Fear of Falling:

She drove.

Like she always did when something bothered her.

(Oh the first chapter on this is also one of the really ancient ones. Like one of the very first things I wrote. That first chapter really shows its age and is a little shaky but the others are better and the last one is what fits into the chorological order here. Polarshipping, Jou x Mai. One of my very first ships. Probably THE first actually <3)

13. What Our Creators Make Us:

"Well, well." The match flared, scattering dark shadows until it was blown out and the only light that remained was the red glow from the cigarette end. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

(Psychoshipping, Marik x Spirit of the Ring Bakura. With a bit of Bronze, Angst and Tender in the follow up. Old but I'm ridiculously proud of it, hence it's place in the master archive. Ahaha you can tell how old it is though by how clever I think I am. I thought it was funny to make my audience figure out who was talking and not reveal the characters for a good fourth to third of the fic. Ahhhhhhh. Sorry about past me.)

14. A Revolution of the Spirit:

It wasn't fair.  It just wasn't.

That they were close was understandable (you don't get much closer than sharing headspace) but that even now, after deals were made with gods, endless arguments, compromises and the ultimate guilt trip that he had only been a teenager when he willingly sacrificed himself for all of humanity, things she had only half seen and only partly understood even though they had all been there to witness, that even now Atem continued to invade Yugi's personal space as though he belonged there got on her nerves.

(Woah Nelly! That third sentence should probably be three, four and five. Even if I just split it in half we'd continue the pattern of things popping off in the fourth line. I think that's one pattern that's emerging! A really good bit takes me about four lines to set up and deliver! Oh, the challenge was Revolutionshipping, Anzu x Atem, but the fic is actually Spiritshipping, Anzu x Yugi x Atem.)

So confession time, I haven't been out of fandom completely, I just hadn't written my own standalone stories in a very long time. There are a few (ok ok more than a few) long-running rps that @miss-moberg and I have been adding to on and off over the years. I can't resist throwing in a couple of these.

15. Cafe!

The door shut behind them with the soft click of the latch and the exhale of a breath long held.

(This opening line was from December of 2020 when we rebooted a very old Prideshipper and that is a damn good opening line if I do say so myself. I can definitely see the difference now between the newer works and the older ones. I've gotten better, she's matched me pace for pace and eventually something will be finished, I'll work up the courage to ask permission to post it and the whole internet will get to see how brilliant the two of us are together.)

16. Treasure Hunt!

"Ryou, I think you're going to regret letting me tag along on your adventuring this time."  Yugi didn't bother turning away from the airplane's tiny window to see if his seatmate was paying attention.  He was more thinking out loud with his friend playing the role of a convenient sounding board.  "Because I think this trip is the only thing I'm going to talk about ever again."

(One more from RP because it's got that fun, four line punch that we've discovered is a pattern for me! Opening entry is from 2017.)

Also, in truth, my count is a little off when I say I'd been out of fandom 10+ years. I've been away from YGO for that long but I did spend a brief stint in Homestuck where I read a ton of fanfic, flirted with a couple group RPs and even wrote a tiny bit. 9 years without writing a new fic isn't as impressive as saying ‘over a decade’ but it is a little more accurate.

17. What You Will:

In the land of fair Illyria, along a small, sandy stretch of its rocky shore, a ship has come to ruin and one lone woman lies still as death among broken wood.

(The beginning of a Homestuck/Twelfth Night crossover that I'm still determined to work more on someday. It's only got a single chapter but it's magic though now I'm concerned about not being able to recapture that. Not a bad first line though. The style is so different it took me reading it a couple times before going, oh yeeeeeah, that's pretty good!)

18. Relentless:

You pull him to the deck and then across it by the remains of his shirt. Let him say one last goodbye. His ship pillaged, his crew murdered, his hands bound behind his back and at your mercy.

Funny word, that. Mercy.

(The first line is pretty decent but there's that four line combo again! Five but I could basically fix that with a comma. Featuring the troll ancestors Mindfang and Dualscar because every time Hussey introduced new characters they were instantly my favorite.) 

19. Black:

There is dark and there is dark and there is dark and then there is black. She is black. Licorice and coal. She is hate and resentment and everything that tastes bitter, the kind of black that coats the tongue like oil, drips down the back of the throat and keeps going.

(Oh wow. Am I allowed to say that about my own work? A Terezi/Vriska drabble that I'm putting as much here as I think I can get away with because it's so good that it fucks me up a little going back and reading it.)

And here it gets tricky because I think the more recent of the old, old fics are in the Drabbles and Shorts collection on ff.net and I can't see a post date. So I'll just pick a good one to end on.

20. Two Princes:

It was inevitable as the rising of Ra's chariot after a long night, as the flooding of the river banks every spring, and Atem always knew that Yugi's kiss would be as warm and gentle as the evening breeze in the summer that brought relief from the scorching day. It was.

(How about the final honor going to more Puzzle/Blind? This probably has the strongest first line of its era. Actually I'm not sure when it was written. It was just hanging out in my writing folder and, thinking about it, I probably wrote it when I was fading from fandom the first time around but still trying to hang in there. No wait! That’s too sad, we can’t end on that! Lets add one more to the list for the sake of personal narrative!)

21. Linger:

The world doesn't need him anymore. It doesn't need his sword and it doesn't need his pen.

(A tiny Princess Tutu afterward that I wrote for myself. Nice one-two punch in the opener. Also it rounds out the personal story that accidentally developed here with a line later in the fic, "Words, however, never stray far from a good writer..." Like, wait, stop. Past me, how did you know T.T)

Did that take a sudden emotional turn for anyone else or was that just me. Can I offset that a little with an honorable mention? Let’s do that while I collect myself. Here’s one more.

Honorable mention: Ryou and the Thief

There was a storm gathering and too much magic in the air. Much more than occurred naturally and magic at this level was never a good thing.

(I can’t have a list of things I’ve written without having Ryou and the Thief on it. If you click on this one though, BEWARE, it’s old, it’s silly and it has a ton of explicit gay sex that… would be written very differently if we were handling it today I’m sure! This is the first RP @miss-moberg and I ever did together and our excuse to Gemship and Puzzleship turned into us running the boys through a whole adventure based on the Osiris myth. It’s the longest thing I’ve ever completed and I’d still consider it kind of my legacy.)

And that’s the last 21(+1!) stories that I’ve written! 

The clear winner of best first line for me is 15. Cafe! It’s short, elegant and manages to contain a whole mood even without the context of what’s going on and who’s involved. (Spoilers: It’s Seto and Mokuba making an AU escape from Gozoboro.) Close second is Tango, the most recent story. It’s neat to see just how much better I’ve gotten and also really cool to see that even if the first line itself doesn’t contain a punch, it’s usually because there’s a nice, strong idea being set up and delivered in the first four lines (or so). What a pleasant surprise!

AND WOW, this whole tag thing didn't need to be so long! Or personal! Seriously, if you get this tag from me the challenge is only to list the first lines to 20 stories and maybe try to draw one or two conclusions from them. You all thought I was joking when I said I loved talking about my own writing! But actually, I guess it’s fine like this as I ended up using it as a way to re-introduce myself. Like, "Hey, I used to live here a long time ago and oh my god I love what you've done with the place!" Rather than being someone who's just popped up out of nowhere a few weeks ago to creepily bother all your best of the best creators so....

^///^ Hello!

Thanks for letting me ramble!

Tags! I think I've seen most of the authors I follow do this already but on the off chance you haven't been tagged yet: @elexica (checked your blog to see if you'd already done the tag and saw that you're another person returning to writing fanfiction after 10+ years. Same! Hello!!), @danieco, @draconicmaw, @nedjemetsenen (has someone tagged you already?) and two shots in the dark, @miss-moberg and @edmondia (I'm so sorry you two. T.T Please feel free to block me forever.) And please, anyone else who wants to babble about their own writing! Do this, it was so much fun. <3

[mengyan]

Sooo i saw you review someones carulia fic befpre so uh heres mine, if i could have some pointers?🥺For context; its supposed to be an angst to fluff comcerning how Carmen & Jules make up following the ACME interruption..

Carmen POV:

The rain relented for no one, not even for those who were in mourning. It was a single drop and a million all at once, thundering down in sheets ftom a confident stormy sky. Carmen Sandiego shivered, the tiny droplets assaulting every shred of skin she had dared to leave exposed.

Her red-brunette hair was drenched a shade darker, now existing as a thick, sopping mass glued to the back of her feverish neck. Carmen’s cheeks were ice cold and slick with water, aside from two thin trails of tears with fading heat.

That was one plus side of being out in the storm, she supposed. It was easy to cry in the rain.

In Carmen’s hands were an arrangement of Peonies and Hydrangeas, the water hammering at their petals. They had been Shadowsan’s suggestion and she took it, because, how the hell would she know what kind of flowers Dexter Wolfe preferred?

The makeshift grave had been Shadowsan’s idea, too. Apparently it would give her closure. Carmen admitted it did, to some extent, help to have some way to mourn her late father. But the fact that she knew his body wasn’t anywhere near his headstone dulled any respite it might have provided.

They had chosen a grave in Poiters, France. It was the only place the team frequented aside from San Diego, and it held the only funeral home that agreed to not ask questions about birth and death records.

Team red hadn’t visited the place in months what with her falling out with Julia and ACME, until today. It was the anniversary of his death, after all.

Carmen’s hands quivered as she lowered the flowers to the wet earth. Tension pulsed in her veins with a thousand emotions flooding through her. She was so, so angry! At the world, at Shadowsan, at Chief, at everyone for taking away what could’ve been a beautiful life with family she now knew nothing of.

She wanted to hurt someone, to scream. And so she did. A guttural roar escaped Carmen’s rouged lips, disappearing into the night. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her erratic breathing. When she looked down, she realized she had crushed the flowers.

Not caring anymore, Carmen plopped down against the headstone, the mud squelching beneath her. Tears began to flow beyond her control and she let them, for once allowing herself to truly feel all the hurt she kept pent up inside in favor of her suave exterior.

Her fingers dug into the earth, and she flung a fistful of mud into the rain. Carmen was tired of running from everything, tired of chasing her past, tired of hiding from the people she cared about.

Maybe the earth’ll open up and swallow me, she mused. Or better yet, maybe I’ll get struck by lightning.

Carmen sighed, moving her back to rest against her father’s grave. “Oh, dad.” She whispered softly. “I’m so sorry.”

The lady in red began to relax despite the rain, curling up in a fetal position and feeling sorry for herself. It wasn’t like Zack, Ivy, Player, and Shadowsan were here to see her so vulnerable, after all.

The sound of two feet approaching caught her attention, their light tread a very familiar sound.

No. It couldn’t be-

The lady in red looked up, her hair strewn haphazardly and her eyes red from crying all while every inch of her body was drenched.

“Miss Sandiego?” There stood Julia Argent with a sky blue umbrella, a mix of horror and concern painted over her delicate features.

“How many times have I told you Carmen is fine?” Carmen whispered as usual, only this time the flirty playfulness was amiss. Her voice was hoarse and raspy, not a sliver of emotion present as she stared dead ahead, right through Julia.

“I’m.....sorry.” The petite woman replied, stressing the underlying meaning.

“What are you doing here, Agent Argent?” Carmen asked tiredly, refusing to call her Jules any longer.

Julia flinched, as if the missing nickname was like a blow to the gut. “Please, you don’t have to be so formal. But, um, I live here, remember? So I think I I should be ask you that.”

“I was just passing through.” The lady in red stood, refusing to meet the other woman’s eyss.

“Where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here.” Carmen said coldly. She couldn’t believe she had ever been stupid enough to begin to trust Julia, much less begin to fall for her. “It’s a long walk to the train station.”

For once, she thought she had someone who believed in her, someone who was on her side wholeheartedly.....and yet...

Stockholm.

“Carmen, you won’t be able to find your way in this weather.” Julia said tentatively, pity filling her beautiful doe eyes to the brim. “Please, um, my apartment isn’t far from here. You can stay until the rain calms down.”

A dark, humorless laugh escaped the Latina’s lips. “What, do all you ACME agents bunk in the same place or something?”

“Excuse me?“

“So they’re waiting for me then,” Carmen continued, her anger and feelings of betrayal peeking into a tirade. “I bet they all have they’re guns propped up at the door already in place. I think I’ll pass, Jules.“

Carmen spit her nickname out like some vile insult she was hurtling at an enemy.

Julia sucked in a sharp breath, sadness touching her features. “Carmen,“ The petite woman began, pleading “I know you won’t forgive me for what happened in Stockholm, but I promise you I didn’t know.“ She paused, waiting for some form of acknowledgement, no response. “I-I told Chief to back off and let me talk to you, she-she said it was okay! I had no idea they were moving in. Please, please Believe me.”

“Oh yeah?“ The woman in red whispered, her voice barely audible over the downpour. “And what if I don’t?“

...

And thats all i have sooo far---

AIJSIDKDKJDKFJDJJSJDFJ OKAY THIS IS LATE BC I WAS NOT IN THE EMOTIONAL HEADSPACE TO DECONSTRUCT THIS BUT. ANON HOW DARE YOU? I AM IN IMMEASURABLE PAIN

i’ll just add notes as i go, thank you for allowing me to read this and offer pointers :D

your descriptions are so good omg!! i love the first sentence SO much?? “the rain relented for no one, not even for those who were in mourning” PHEWWW that’s poetry

i’d say the only thing about the following descriptions is that you don’t have to describe everything, if that makes sense? like, you can leave it as just “a stormy sky” for example. descriptions are amazing, but too much of anything can be harder to read and get your point across!

“it was easy to cry in the rain” anon WHO let you hurt me like this!!!

i feel like if i look up those flowers i will cry so i’m not going to but. shadowsan knowing what flowers to bring is just.... help i’m in pain

NOT THE GRAVE BEING IN POITIERS GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH

instead of “so, so, angry” you can say furious, and replace the exclamation mark with a period. it makes it more solid (if that’s the right word...?)

it’s probably a tumblr formatting thing but italicize the words when it’s her inner thoughts for better distinction!

CARMEN RECOGNIZING JULIA’S FOOTSTEPS

“a mix of horror and concern painted over her delicate features” i’m in LOVE with this wording??

REFUSING TO CALL HER JULES ANY LONGER@,#)&()&)&&)&:&:; LORDDDD

NOT THE. NOT FUCKING STOCKHOLM ANON?? me: brings it up 24/7 and then me when anyone else brings it up: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

THE ANGST IS KILLING ME

side note, don’t refer to characters by their race/ethnicity, go with the thief, lady in red, the other girl etc

probably a typo but **their instead of they’re!

“AND WHAT IF I DON’T?” I AM INCONSOLABLE ANON I AM SO SCARED TO READ THE FULL THING WHEN YOU’RE DONE BUT I ALSO CAN’T WAIT AHHHHH THIS ANGST IS SOOO GOOD

thanks again for the submission 🥺💕 i hope my notes were okay!! this was such an emotional journey to read and now i’m going to be fueled by stockholm angst all day when writing <3

[hemmingslftv]

Reuniting // M.C. - chapter two

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: drug recovery and drug use, pregnancy and abortion mention, 

Not requested but requests are open

A/N: hi guys! I need to say I’m not too happy about how this one turned out. I had the idea in my mind for so long that I feel like it is so hard to put it into words now. I feel like this isn’t as realistic as I want it to be but I’ve been stuck here and I feel like I owe you a chapter. I may edit this one later or maybe not. Also there may be some typos, I’m sorry about that. Please tell me what you think about it, feedback is very appreciated. Enjoy!

Masterlist

You had spent the last 20 minutes pacing around your house. You didn’t remember a time when you had been this nervous since the day Jake was born. As soon as you heard de doorbell you ran to open the door.

“Hi”, Michael said as you opened it.

“Hey, come inside”, you said feeling a little bit awkward and once you had closed the door you took him on a quick tour around your apartment.

“You and Jake have a nice home, it’s big but cozy at the same time, I like it”

“Thanks! Let’s sit on the couch, I guess I owe you an explanation” you sat facing each other and you took a deep breath trying to figure out how to explain everything that had happened since you two broke up.

“I just don’t really know where to start”, you said, feeling overwhelmed by the situation and covering your face with your hands.

“Hey, you’re shaking. Calm down, it’s just me, okay? You don’t owe me anything, just tell me whenever you’re ready” Michael said as he rubbed your back but instead of calming down you started crying. It wasn’t even a loud cry, tears started to leave your eyes because you finally felt like you weren’t alone in this anymore and you were afraid he would leave again after you spoke. 

“It’s fine, y/n, cry it out” he hugged you tight and you stayed in that position for almost 20 minutes until you could speak normally again. It surprised you how familiar his touch felt even after all this time and how it made you feel at home.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sure you have somewhere better to be”, you said as you sat back in the original position and wiped away the tears left in your cheeks.

“Don’t be sorry, this must have been very hard for you. I’m the one who should be sorry. And I canceled everything for today, I really don’t think there’s anything more important than this”

“But you just released an album, aren’t you supposed to be doing interviews and stuff? I don’t want to harm your career in any way”

“Don’t worry about that it’s just one day and besides, I’m in a band, remember? There are three other guys to take care of things. Just relax, don’t think about any of that. This is what’s important now, okay?” you nodded.

“The thing is that it won’t be just a day and being honest I’m so scared you’ll leave after I tell you but if that’s your decision I guess it’s fine, I can do this alone, I always have and I can’t ask you to do anything after almost 3 years” Michael placed his hand on your chin and lift it up softly.

“I’m not leaving, do you hear me? I’m here now. Start from the beginning and just speak, you’ve always been good at explaining things” you took one last deep breath and started speaking.

“Okay. You know I always respected your decision. When you cut me off your life I knew you were doing it because you needed to, it was the healthy thing to do, we weren’t good for each other at that time. And I want you to know that even after everything that’s happened I think you did the right thing so don’t blame yourself. I mean, look at you! You’re more healthy and handsome than you’ve ever been and that’s what you deserve!” Michael blushed at your words and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh my god, Michael! There’s no way you still haven’t gotten used to compliments, you’re a superstar!”

“You know I’m shy! That will never change” he said laughing with you.

“Fair enough. Well, so as I said, this is not your fault, I know you tend to feel guilty about a lot of things and I don’t want you to feel bad about this, okay?”

“Okay, I’ll try not to feel bad”

“Perfect. So, as you told me to and as I’m sure you remember since that was the only time you hadn’t been high in more than two weeks, I packed all my stuff and left your house before you came back from that promo trip” he nodded. 

“I went back to live with my parents until I found a new place and then I moved here. I remember it as if it was yesterday. The second night I slept here, when I went to bed I checked my phone as I always do and I had a notification from my period app that said it was late by one week. I thought it probably was because of the stress with the breakup, the move, and everything and so I decided not to think much about it, it wasn’t the first time it had happened.

I kept myself busy with university and I found a job at a bar so I had less free time, I didn’t want to think about us much. It was really hard for me to understand that we were done and I couldn’t call you when I was feeling down or talk to you about things. Also, I had to find new friends and I’m sure all your friends hate me now because I left without an explanation but it was the best thing for you to not have me around anymore so I knew I had to do it”

“I really am sorry about that. I shouldn’t have asked you to distance yourself from them, they were your friends just as much as mine. You must have missed the girls so much, you and Kaykay were practically sisters... that was so selfish”

“Michael, I said it’s okay. I understood why you did it. The thing is that I was trying so hard to focus on other stuff that I was so busy I didn’t realize I never had my period that month. So the next month when the app warned me the next one was supposed to come in two days I literally panicked. I didn’t know who to call because I wasn’t that close to my new friends yet so I just cried myself to sleep on the kitchen floor. The next morning I bought a pregnancy test and, as you probably can guess, it was positive. I can’t put into words everything I felt at that moment. I was terrified because I didn’t wanna go through a pregnancy and raise a child all by myself and also because I hadn’t planned it and you know I always plan everything. I’m not gonna lie, the first few days I seriously considered having an abortion but eventually, I decided I was ready to be a mom and I knew I could financially take care of the baby and give him a great life and you know I always said I wanted kids so I figured it had just come a little earlier than I expected but that it was fine.

Once I had decided I was gonna have the baby I called you, and I knew you weren’t gonna pick up the phone but I said to myself I had to at least try. You obviously didn’t pick up so I called my mother instead and she was the most supportive person ever since the first moment she knew. So that’s how things went I guess” 

“Why didn’t you come to see me? You knew I had deleted your number but you could have told me in person”

“Michael you literally told me, and I quote “I don’t want you around anymore, I’m hurting you and that’s the last thing I want to do. I would never forgive myself if things escaleted more than they did last night and I don’t trust myself anymore. I’m gonna get help, I promise. And if I ever feel strong enough I’ll find you and we can try this again. I’m begging you to let me go and don’t ever contact me again. Please forgive me, I love you” and left the house. That was the last time I ever talked to you”

“No, I know that, but I never thought about the possibility that you were pregnant!”

“Me neither, but I was. And all I did was respect your decision”

“You could have come to me, you know I would have taken care of you and the baby”

“I know you would have, and that’s why I didn’t tell you. You needed to focus on yourself so you could be a great dad, and that’s what I told myself”

“But you took away my choice, you decided for me!” Michael said standing up and raising his voice.

“Are you yelling at me right now? You can’t be serious” You stood up too and started yelling back at him too with tears filling your eyes.

“You have no idea how hard it is for me to know that Jake could have had a father but I chose for him not to. I always thought you’d show up someday, you know? Throughout the whole pregnancy and even his first year, every time I got a call from a random number or a knock on the door I expected to find you on the other side. Because YOU told me I needed to give you time to heal and you’d come looking for me when you were ready. So I decided based on your own words that Jake could wait a year for his father if that meant you’d be better for him, for me, and for yourself. But you never showed up. So you don’t get to tell me I’ve taken your choice because this was all your decision”

“I just”

“No, you just what? You have no idea how painful it was to accept you weren’t coming back. And it was even harder because I saw you on the news, I heard you on the radio and every time it felt like I was the bad one for keeping Jake a secret but I had to remind myself that it was you who asked me to literally never contact you again”

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry. I guess I’m still processing everything and it just hurts to know that I haven’t seen him grow up and I’ve lost the first years of his life because of the stupid addiction”

“Believe me. I get that. And I am sorry about it but what was I supposed to do? You had finally decided to get help and I couldn’t be the one to ruin that”

“You did the right thing, I’m sorry. I couldn’t thank you enough for everything you’ve always done for me. I’ve thought about reaching out to you a million times but I thought you probably hated me after everything I put you through, especially that last night. God, you should hate me! I convinced myself you had probably moved on and you deserved someone who would treat you better so I tried to forget about you” Michael confessed in a more quiet tone and sitting back on the couch.

“I don’t hate you Michael, I want you to know I forgive you. You weren’t yourself, those were the drugs talking and I know you would have never done any of that sober”

“But still, it never should have happened. Earlier, when you let me hug you, I felt so relieved because I didn’t know if you’d be comfortable with me touching you ever again. I am so deeply sorry” his voice cracked and this time it was you hugging him and rubbing his back.

“We’re past that now, okay?” you said once he had calmed down.

“Does he know who I am?” Michael asked.

“What?”

“Jake. What does he know about his father?”

“Oh, at first I didn’t talk to him about you because I didn’t know what to say but my mother convinced me it was important for him to know from a young age just so he wouldn’t be confused. So I told him you were a musician and that you were on a really long trip but you would eventually come back. My parents have always helped me a lot with him so he has never been lonely and he didn’t ask about you until recently. But the past few months he has been saying he wanted you to come back”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think it is because he’s noticed how in kindergarten most kids have two parents and he has just one around” 

“Do you want me to be around, y/n? I mean, I imagine this can be a lot of change, going from single parent to us being two but I want to be there for him. I want to take care of him but I feel like this should be a decision we have to make together, I can’t just come into your lives without permission after being gone for so long. So I’m asking you if I can, please, be in your life again” you stared into Michael’s eyes and you knew he was being sincere, you could tell he really wanted this and how serious he was about it.

“Yes, of course. I’d love for you to be Jake’s dad and I’m sure he’ll like you”

“Thank you so much. I promise I will never let you down again. However, I need to say I don’t know how to be a parent. I’ve always been good with kids but they weren’t mine so I don’t know”

“Don’t worry about that, just be you and it will come as an instinct. You know it will take most of your time, right? I mean, this is not like taking Rose for a walk or something, you need to be here for him all the time. If you come into his life you need to promise me you will stay, okay?”

“I promise, I want us to be a family. Do you really think he’ll like me?” Michael asked with a hopeful tone on his voice.

“I’m so sure he will, you two have a lot of things in common”

“Oh, we do?”

“Yep, he loves videogames, just like his father”

“Really?” Michael said getting more and more excited about all of this making you giggle.

“Yeah and he also loves your music”

“He’s listened to our music?”

“Of course! I didn’t say I liked your music because you were my boyfriend, I really love it so I listen to it and also I wanted him to have you a little bit closer”

“That’s so sweet of you, you’re amazing” you smiled at his words.

“Do you know what else you have in common? You’re middle name”

“You did not!”

“Oh yes, I did. I hadn’t even thought about it until I was registering the name but I guess it was the hormones or something and I thought since he didn’t have your last name he should have your middle name”

“Jake Gordon, oh my god poor boy!”

“I know!” you said and you both started laughing.

“So, is it okay if I stay for lunch and I spend the afternoon getting to know him?” Michael asked after a few minutes.

“I think it would be better if I talked to him first. As you saw yesterday, he’s a shy kid and I believe it will be easier for him if I prepare him. You may have to be patient, it takes him a while to be comfortable around new people”

“Oh, that’s okay, I get it, I was a shy kid too” Michael said but you noticed a sad tone on his voice, you could tell he was disappointed he had to wait one more day to spend time with Jake.

You and Michael spent the rest of the morning talking about how your lives had changed these past few years and you showed him pictures and videos of Jake. When it was time he left and you agreed he would come again the next afternoon. You didn’t want to get your hopes up because you had been waiting for this moment so much time it didn’t even feel real but you were too excited about Michael being around you couldn’t help it and you started imagining how things would be from now on.