#god now that i know theres proof of people talking about me behind me back what do i do. what do i say?

[forgetmenotsystem]

.

[writing-the-end]

LoL Chapter 55- Hell’s Chosen

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

The hermits discover a dark past to their paladin knight, does this change their perspective of him, or will it save their unlikely ally? 

Warning: Some description of wounds (i think)

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All eyes were on Wels. Very few had a look of knowledge. TFC, for one. But Tango’s visible confusion gives way to a much softer, quieter version of the hellfire wizard. “Helsknight? You mean the marauder from years ago? But he died.” 

“You’re right, he did. And I killed him. I buried him so deep inside me, and vowed to do whatever I could to be a better man. When Helsknight died, Welsknight was born.” Wels’s fingers are tight in the bloodstained fabric, knuckles turned white as he’s forced to relive, to speak of his dark past. 

“No no no no. You’re joking, right?” Doc shakes his head. Even he feared Hell’s chosen knight. Wels can’t possibly be that same person. Wels, a quiet, collected paladin with the heart of gold and courage of a lion. “I mean...no one ever told the story of Helsknight with a tail.” 

“Less limbs to get cut off if it’s protected by armor.” Wels points out, flicking the lionesque tail. “You want proof? What was the last time anyone ever saw Helsknight?”

Doc cocks an eyebrow, then waves his hand. “Hels and his band of bad guys attacked one of Ventus’s- the God of Judgement- temples. But the attempt was failed, and Helsknight himself was left behind as he bled out...from his neck…”

The entire group stares as the scar that Wels reveals, running from his collar to his clavicle. TFC doesn’t stare like the others. He’s known all of this the whole time. Tango shakes his head. “But you’re nothing like Helsknight. He murdered and killed for fun, to cause chaos and bring hell onto Lairyon. Wels, you’re…” 

“A changed man. Just like Apatia can be- if you give him the chance. Like the woman who healed me did, like X and TFC. Tango, if you don’t let Apatia give his chance to change and rectify what he can, then you can’t let me be any different. You can’t be a hypocrite and pick and choose.” From between Wels and Tango, Apatia groans. The blood has stopped, Ren’s work healing leaving a sloppy open wound behind. 

Apatia was pale, paler than he already was. Almost the same color as Grian, as the latter continues to recuperate from the torture he faced. But unlike Grian’s shallow, soft breaths, Apatia’s runs ragged and harsh. His jaws are clenched, fighting off the pain. With the remaining bandages and healing salve, Wels wraps up the stump of Apatia’s tail fin. 

Tango and Doc are still quiet, trying to comprehend the news that’s been delivered to them. It all makes sense, but their eads still struggle to put the two completely different personas together. As if they’re different people all together. 

Everyone knows who Helsknight is- was. He appeared as if from nowhere, like a demon spawned straight from hell. And immediately, he began reeking havoc. His band of villains attacked and raided. They were more than just some lowly bandits, or even a mafia. Helsknight was a villain, killing without mercy, without remorse, and without discretion. It wasn’t until their botched attack on that temple that ended the reign of terror that Hell’s chosen knight left on Lairyon. Just as quickly as Helsknight appeared, he faded into nightmares and horror story. Kids were told to watch out for the knight with one eye, because he’d pluck out their own to replace his. 

But Welsknight? He’s calm and collected, if a bit snarky. Even when battling even the husks, he always hesitates to strike a killing blow if there’s a potential to save the life instead. Wels is jovial, and a great baker, and tells great stories. Sure, he’s a great knight, but Tango once saw Wels cry over a dead fish he found at the beach. He’s a paladin, not a barbarian. 

Helsknight supposedly died years ago. Welsknight joined the hermits a few years back. Though there’s a span of time in between the day Lairyon celebrated the defeat of Hels and Wels following TFC back to Eremita, it begins to all make sense. There's a reason why Wels never talks about his past. Never visits home. Never explains how he got many of his scars.

Like puzzle pieces, it all falls together and paints a picture. Doc’s jaw clenches. As much as he hates to say it, or even think it, Wels is right. If a monster like Hels can become the man before Doc today, then maybe, just maybe , theres hope for Apatia. 

So long as he lives. The hermits are so focused on Apatia, their argument on whether he should live or die, no one notices Grian rouse from the darkness that still grips him. No one noticed the sky open up, both in Grian’s eyes and the sky beyond the windows. No one notices him weakly clamber out of bed, nearly falling flat on his face, and walking over to join them in the group. 

“What are we on about?” Even when he speaks up, the other hermits are so used to his voice that it hardly registers. 

“Welsknight was once helsknight, and whether we should save Apatia’s life or not.” Tango shrugs, his red eyes glaring down at Apatia with distaste. He still hates the man, but at the same time… they’re supposed to be the heroes. 

“As your resident healer, I think we should. But...I’m not sure why he’s here in the first place.” Ren looks up, realizing who is speaking, and scoops Grian into his arms. His tail wags loud and heavy, banging against the other hermits with every oscillation. 

“Welcome back to the land of the living, my dude!” Ren only sets Grian down when TFC reminds him that Grian is still working towards regaining his life, his color. He’s still slightly unsaturated, his skin missing the tint of pink, the red of his robest boarding the color of dried blood. Ren sets Grian back on the bed, trying to force the angel to rest. But now that Grian’s awake, he’s ready to cause trouble and start his day- even though he has no clue what time it is. 

“What’s going on? I...I don’t remember much. When did you guys save me? Why is Apatia here? How did you find me?” The questions fall like rain in a storm, impossible for the hermits to catch every last drop. 

It’s TFC that manages to slow the downpour. “Hold on, hold on Grian. Why don’t we start from the beginning? We’ll fill you in on everything, in time.”

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All the hermits, once again under the safe canopy of the massive oak tree in their guild hall. Grian is wrapped in a warm, soft blanket- knitted by Stress- and a mug of warm apple cider rests in between his pale hands. “I can’t believe you guys came for me.” 

“Of course we were gonna save you, Grian.” Scar practically laughs at the mere idea of leaving him behind. But for Grian, who’s been kicked out of so many guilds for his troublemaking, it really shows how much they care. 

A rumble of agreements follow, and after a few more minutes of quiet comforting, it’s Grian himself that changes the subject. “Dolios is getting more powerful by the minute. I could feel all the energy flowing through those leylines, into him and that monster, Eurynomos. We can’t delay this any longer. Dolios has to go down.” 

“But we don’t even know how. We can destroy as many crystals as we want, but he’ll just keep making more. He has more power than a bunch of lowly mercenaries. He even beat Apatia, one of his own Councilmembers. One of the strongest guildmasters in all of Lairyon.” BDubs points out. Everyone goes silent as they remember the man in their infirmary. The stranger- he’s not a hermit, yet he’s among them. 

Grian looks up, pale face and hollowed eyes alarming for the hermits. He hardly looks to be among the living, but less like a dead man walking like he was before. “Xisuma, your brother mentioned something about the ancient ones. DO you think there could be a clue for us there? In the past?” 

X sighs, leaning back in his chair as he considers the question. “If the answer to ending Dolios’s dark reign truly lies in the past, then we’d have better luck finding the answer ourselves. Thousands of years, eroded by time, by kingdoms and cultures rising and falling, not to mention the disappearance of the ancient ones. There’s a reason ancient magic is dead- because none of the books teaching it survived.” 

“There’s one person we know who has studied the ancient ones for years.” Joe’s voice cuts through the crowd, looking around. Every other hermit is lost and confused, but Joe can see the mixed emotions raging in Xisuma’s eyes. “Besides Ex can take care of the island, of Apatia while we’re searching.” 

“Ex chose to leave Eremita. Why in gods’s names would he want to come back, to help us?” X growls. 

“Because he’s your brother. He helped us save Doc. He’s been helping us, helping all of Lairyon- in his own weird, Ex way. He’s not the villain here, he’s your brother.” 

X clenches his jaw. The scar over his eye burns at the memory of their fight. The words he said to his brother, and the worst responded in kind. Xisuma still received letters from Ex, but he only opened them when Cleo’s cider had clouded his better judgement. And he never responded. 

But he also remembers the moment, after years estranged, he laid eyes upon his twin brother, crammed into the bookstore he was running. The moment of relief, of happiness to see Ex alive and well. Their identical faces, like mirror images of one another. His hair pure white, like the bright sun in the sky. Even now Xisuma remembers how often he’d complain he could always find Ex hairs on his clothes. 

And that Ex helped them save Doc. All these years fighting, Xisuma can’t believe he’s going to be the one to concede defeat. But for the fate of Lairyon, he guesses he has to. He pulls off his mask, turning it over in his hands, running a thumb over the scratched out symbol. He swallows his pride, and stands. “I’ll get the letter to Phoebe. What’s one more stranger to the island?”

[hayden-thefuck-whywouldyoudothis]

The Inevitable

Hello wonderful people! This is going to be my first ever fanfic that I am posting anywhere, so please be nice. I would appreciate feedback, and I think that if it does well here I’ll post it n Ao3. 

I came up with this fic idea a little while back, and I’ve been writing it since 03/13/21. Basically the idea is that while Tommy was in the afterlife, he met characters who died during Tales From The SMP episodes that took place in the past. They told him their stories, and Tommy connected the dots. He goes to confront Karl in Kinoko Kingdom.

This story includes a headcanon that is not mine. I read a fanfic with the mute!Karl headcanon. The story was an absolute banger. If you want to hear a little more about that go read their story Come Home With Me by icaruswontmelt on Ao3

Story starts under the cut .

The Inevitable, by BangHaydenCoven

Death was the one thing that had always been truly eternal. When Wilbur came back as Ghostbur, it had seemed like death maybe wasn’t completely permanent because Wilbur was back. But he hadn’t been brought back to life. He was a ghost, a shell of the person he had been before everything went to shit. Tommy had truly thought that death was the one thing that stayed constant on this god-forsaken server. Being beaten to death and brought back by the person who hurt you so deeply puts a lot of things that were just beyond reach of perfectly understandable, into perspective. In the amount of time that had gone by while Tommy’s life actually went to hell and back, everything had changed. Tubbo had gotten married of all things, He had a kid. And a new best friend as well, apparently. There was, for the first time in a long time, a semblance of peace between all of the factions. Peace smashed, the moment he had been let out of the prison. No one looked at him the same way anymore. No one looked at him like the kid he was. The kid he was supposed to be. All they saw was an anomaly. Not a real, live, breathing person who has feelings and needs validation, just like other people. Proof of something that never should have been real. 

Since declaring that Dream had to die, Tommy had holed himself up in his little house dirt mound of a house. When he finally got over the initial panic, the firsthand terror of forcing himself to think about the time he had spent dead, he allowed himself to do it freely. Puffy had told him it was good to think back on the trauma. He wasn’t sure just how much he could trust that ideology, but it seemed to work for the most part. Tommy had spent the majority of his time in the afterlife with the people he had known when he was alive.  Wilbur, Schlatt, Mexican Dream. It had been pretty simple. They spent a lot of time playing card games, for some reason. But one day, a fight had sparked between Tommy and Schlatt, causing the younger to storm off into the distance. He had been fuming that day. It hadn’t even been a fight that made sense. Schlatt had thrown some baseless accusations his way, and Tommy had just given up. He needed a break. So he walked away. 

He walked.

And he walked.

And he walked.

And he walked.

And he stopped.

Looming over him was a building that was like nothing Tommy had ever seen. It was old, dusty, and cold. It belonged in the afterlife, to put it simply. It fit. It was a simple embodiment. Then, laughter filled the air. Frightening, drunk laughter that was cold but inviting. Tommy followed the spine-chilling noise into the building where he found four people. Three were dressed like they were from the Wild West. Cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and simple revolvers at their hips. The fourth was also clearly from the same time period, put was dressed simply. When he walked into the building, they just stared at him. Cold, level stares that made him feel like he would rather die all over again then be stuck under those gazes for the rest of eternity. But suddenly the looks of the people softened as they beckoned him over, introducing themselves as Connor, Mason, and Jack Kanoff. They were group of bandits called the Democrat Haters, and a simple bartender named John John. They told him their story, to put it simply. They told him how they died.

That was only the beginning.

Tommy wandered for a week straight, meeting people, hearing their stories. He met higher members of society who attended a masquerade only to die brutal deaths at the hands of a possessed butler, the members of a village with a crazed murderer that didn’t know haw to stop, that killed people brutally, among many others. And every single story Tommy heard had a one thing in common. There was always one man, in every story, who appeared out of no where, wearing colourful clothing and iridescent goggles perched on his head. He didn’t always use the same name, but he was always there, no matter when it had happened. As Tommy moved around his home to prepare, one thought rang true in his mind. 

Karl was getting a visitor tomorrow.

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Walking to Kinoko Kingdom had taken a lot longer than Tommy had originally thought and planned for. Not that the little settlement was close to the rest of the Greater SMP, but it wasn’t far either. Regardless of distance, it was still far too long of a walk for Tommy to be in a good mood when he arrived to find Sapnap of all people tending to the garden in Kinoko. Usually Tommy would have snuck up behind Sapnap and scared him to intentionally piss the older man off, but that was the old Tommy. The old Tommy had stayed dead. Instead, he announced his presence by kicking an acorn at the other mans head. There was a loud yelp, followed by a string of curses that matched the flowers in the garden with how colourful they were.

“George, I swear to god, if-” his sentence dropped of in a look of pure disbelief as he turned around, expecting to see his best friend that deserved a good scolding. A dead teenager was definitely different. And confusing. 

“Shit...” Sapnap mumbled, “Tommy?”

“Hello Sapnap. I must say its very nice to see you doing something other than killing pets. Or your fiances.” He smirks.

“Well it’s definitely you. The question is how. How are you alive?” he says as the shock on his face fades into confusion mixed with disbelief. Tommy freezes. 

“Only if your okay with it of course. Don’t answer if your not comfortable. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought that up. That was insensitive of me...” he trails off as he realizes Tommy seems less stressed at the fact that Sapnap isn’t going to make him talk about it.

“Sapnap,” Tommy started, “I need to talk to Karl. Like, right now.” 

“Alright,” said Sapnap, nodding slowly, “I’ll go get him. Stay right here.” As Tommy watched the other man walk away to retrieve one of his fiances, he really hopes that what he is about to accuse Karl of is wrong. Maybe one day they’ll laugh about this. Probably not.

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As Sapnap entered the house, looking for his fiances, he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that Tommy so urgently needed to talk to Karl about. Not finding his fiances on the first floor of their shared house, he went upstairs to continue his search, not wanting to keep the teen waiting for too long. As he opened the door to the throuples bedroom, he let out a small huff of affection when he saw his fiances, the loves of his life, asleep in their bed. Quackity had his arms around Karls waist, with his wings over both of them like a blanket, reflecting the golden light of the sun filtering through the window. Not wanting to disturb the scene in front of him, he let out a small sigh of annoyance as he forced himself to wake up Karl, and by extension Quackity.

“Theres someone here who wants to talk to you.” he muttered softly in Karls ear. 

“Who?” Karl signed sleepily.

“Tommy. It seems pretty important. He’s down in the garden.” Sapnap said a little louder, seeing that Q was now awake, so there was no reason to stay quiet.

“Alright.” He signed, “Let’s go.” as he got up, he tugged on Quackity’s sleeve lightly. “Are you coming, Q?”  He nodded and gave a small smile.

“Alright,” Sapnap said, pulling Quackity into a quick hug, and giving him a quick kiss on the temple, “Let’s go then.”

As they left the house and approached Tommy sitting at the picnic table in their back garden, they exchanged a small conversation in sign language.

“Is he okay?” said Quackity with some concern clear on his face, his movements slow and scuffed from sleep.

“He looks really tired.” Sapnap added.

“Q, could you run in and prepare some sandwiches and lemonade?” Signed Karl, “We’ll bring Tommy inside and we can all have lunch together while we talk.”

“Of course, my love.” Said Quackity, giving Karl a small kiss on the cheek before hurrying inside to prepare some lunch.

Turning to Tommy to thank him for waiting, he was met with a face of absolute, genuine confusion. As Tommy stared at their hands, then looked back over to Karl, his face quickly changed to a look of understanding.

“I forgot,” he said as he stood up sheepishly, “that Karl was mute.”

“That’s okay Tommy.” Karl cut in before Sapnap could say anything, “I know you’ve been through a lot recently. It’s okay to forget things from time to time. I should know.” Karl signed slowly so that Tommy could keep up with his rusty remembrance of sign language, adding a small smile at the end of his sentence. 

“Thank you Karl.” Tommy said with a sigh of relief.

“Would you like to come inside and have lunch with us? I know you have something to talk to me about, but you look hungry. We could talk right after though. How does that sound?” Karl signed with a smile on his face.

“That sounds great.” Tommy said after a beat of hesitation.

“Perfect,” said Sapnap, “let’s head inside. Q is making some sandwiches.” They all headed inside, one dreading the talk that would come after, the other two wondering what could possibly be so important to cause Tommy to come all the way out to Kinoko Kingdom to talk to Karl.

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Tommy and Sapnap sat down at the table in the dining room as Karl went into the kitchen to help Quackity. Usually it would be all three of the in the kitchen, making food and having a good time, but Sapnap needed to take advantage of the situation at hand. Since he hadn’t visited the main SMP in a while, Tommy gave him the rundown of the current and recent events he knew of. Nothing too bad, but Sapnap knows you can never be too careful. A few minutes later, Quackity and Karl emerge from the kitchen carrying some plates and the food. As they sit down and start to eat, Sapnap and Quackity make small talk that Karl contributes too every once in a while with some one handed movements, putting his sandwich down when it was necessary. But Tommy stayed quiet, which the fiances found quite odd. Clearly whatever the boy had been through recently, on top of all his other trauma, had really messed with him. The loud, boisterous teenager they had known before was gone, replaced with someone they didn’t recognize in the slightest. So Tommy stayed silent the entire time, not noticing the quick, worry filled glances the trio sent his way every so often.

Soon enough, they had all finished eating. They were sitting in the fiances’ living room together, Tommy on one couch, the tree of them on the other. The room sat in an awkward silence as Karl, Quackity, and Sapnap waited for Tommy to talk to them, and as Tommy decided what to say.

After a moment, Tommy said, “Are you sure you want them here for this?” Karl’s eyes widened at how blatant he had been.

“Of course I want them here.” He signed quickly, “They are the people who matter most to me. Whatever you need to say to me you can say to all three of us.” Sapnap and Quackity nodded, not wanting to disrupt anything.

“Alright,” Tommy sighed, “Where should I start...” Karl’s hands stayed firmly in his lap to give Tommy a moment to think. “Well, I guess I’m just going to say what I came here to say, and pray to Prime that I’m wrong.” Karl nodded, once, slowly. Tommy took a deep breath before opening his mouth and saying...

“Your a time traveler, aren’t you?”

Silence.

And then laughter

All he could hear was laughter.

Sapnap and Big Q were laughing. 

Karl was not.

Karl was not.

Karl wasn’t laughing.

The look on his face was not one of someone who had just been accused of some laughable fallacy.

A fantasy, really.

Sapnap and Quackity had stopped laughing.

They seemed to have come to the same conclusion that Tommy had.

“Karlos?” Quackity started, “There is no possible way...” he stopped, a look of pure disbelief on his face.

“Tell me that he’s lying Karl.” said Sapnap. “Please.” Karl’s hands started to move, making aborted and scuffed movements as he tried to figure out what to say.

 “No,” He finally settled on, “he’s right. I’m a time traveler.” Sapnap started crying at this, and Quackity gave him a hug as he buried his face into his fiances neck. Karl looked completely torn. He clearly wanted to comfort his fiances, but he knew he shouldn’t while Tommy was still here. But he also didn’t know if he could. Karl didn’t know if he was even still allowed to comfort them after keeping this big of a secret from them, and for so long. Karl started signing again, this time with clear urgency behind each movement.

“Two things, and then I need you to leave. Understood?”

“Of course,” said Tommy, “I will leave immediately.” Karl nodded.

“Thank you. First things first,” he signed, “how did you know?” Tommy sighed. He really didn’t want to talk about this. But Karl deserved to hear the truth.

“When I died, I was in the afterlife for a little while,” Tommy said softly, “One day I walked away from the people I knew in the afterlife, Schlatt, Wilbur, and Mexican Dream. I walked for so long I came across a building I had never seen before, and when I went in I met a group of people from the Wild West.” Karl’s eyes had gone wide.

“You met Jack and Mason and Connor?” he signed.

“Yeah, and John John as well. They told me what happened the day they died, and they mentioned you. Not directly, but they mentioned a man that had showed up out of nowhere wearing bright colours and iridescent goggles.” Karl looked wistful, remembering his time sent in the Wild West, even if it hadn’t been an exceptionally fun trip at the time. Tommy continued. “I also met the people who visited the masquerade, same story. But this time they mentioned your name. And lastly I met the townfolk of the Village that went Mad. Same story, but no name once again. I just connected the dots.” Tommy fell silent, waiting for Karl to tell him something. Sometime during his revelations, Sapnap and Quackity had left the room to comfort each other. Karl clearly wanted to tell them he was sorry, but he couldn’t do that until Tommy had left. Turning back to the teen, he started signing once more.

“Thank you for telling me, Tommy. I just have one thing to ask of you, then you can leave.” Tommy nodded his head, and Karl continued, “You cannot, under any circumstances, tell anyone what you know. It would put everyone in grave danger. Is that clear?”

“Of course. I won’t tell a soul.” Karl gave him a small smile. “Now I think you should go talk to your fiances.”

“I will,” he signed, leading Tommy to the front door, “Goodbye, Tommy. Have a good trip back.”

“Goodbye, Karl.”

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As he walked towards the door of their shared bedroom, he could barely hold himself back from running to the room to comfort them. But Karl couldn’t be sure that they would ever be the same again. It broke him to think that, but he had lied to them, for a long time. They probably hated him.

He stopped outside of the door, hearing faint sounds of crying on the other side of the door. He slowly opened the door to see Quackity and Sapnap cuddled up together against the headboard of their bed, with all of the lights out. Sapnap was asleep against Quackitys chest, tear tracks all over his face. Q wasn’t much better.

“Hey Karl.” Quackity said softly, sniffling a little.

“Hi.” he signed back, gong to sit on the edge of the bed. “I’m so sorry.” he signed after a beat of silence. “I have no excuses. I just wanted both of you to be safe from it.”

“But... what is it, Karl? Why couldn’t you tell us? Are these the trips you’ve been going on? Does it have something to do with your memory problems?” Quackity rambled, question after question. He cut off when he realized how tense Karl looked. “...sorry.” he said, lowering his voice once more.

“Woah, Q, it’s okay. But I can only answer one question at a time.” Quackity nodded. “It is the In-Between,” he started, making the ASL sign for between, then spelling it out, “I don’t actually know what it is, but I managed to get away from it recently. It was stopping me from telling you about my time traveling. It told me that telling you guys would put you guys in grave danger. I couldn’t let that happen. So I kept it a secret.” He stopped, hands dropping when he couldn’t figure out where to go from there. Quackity opened his mouth, about to ask a question, when he felt Sapnap stir at his side. 

“Hey babe.” Quackity said, Sapnap just let out a little huff. “Sap, do you feel up to talking right now?”

“...yeah...is he here?” he mumbled, voice heavy and slurred with sleep. 

“He is.” Quackity answered. Sapnap looked up at him, then looked over to Karl.

“Hi Sap.” he signed, not making eye contact. “I want to apologize to both of you. For not telling you. There really is no valid excuse that I have. The In-Between was crazy. I just wanted to keep both of you safe.”

“What is the In-Between?” Sapnap asked. Before Karl could answer, Quackity cut in.

“He doesn’t know, Sap.” he whispered. 

Sapnap continued, “I want you to tell us the whole story. Please?” Karl looked conflicted.

“Alright.” he signed, “I’ll start at the beginning.” So he did. He told them the whole story. By the time he had finished, all three had tears running down their face. “Do you understand now?” Karl wiped his eyes before continuing, “It wasn’t safe to tell you.” Sapnap nodded, eyes red and puffy from crying.

“You need to stop traveling Karl. Me and Sapnap wouldn’t be able to live with ourselves if you forgot everything.” said Quackity, pulling Sapnap even closer. Karl sighed.

“I can’t control the traveling. I don’t know if it will ever stop. All I need right now is you two. If I hadn’t wanted to get home to you guys so desperately, I would have forgotten long ago.” Karl got up and grabbed his journal. “Fill it.” he signed, after he gave it to his two fiances, “fill it with everything I need to remember. And when I come back each time, help me remember. Please.” Sapnap looked up at him, then glanced at Quackity, coming to a silent agreement. They would do anything to keep Karl with them.

“Of course we will, mi amor.” said Quackity, opening his arms to invite Karl to come sit with them. Karl smiled, tears running down his face once again, crawling into their warm embrace. And as they sat there, holding each other close, Karl took each of heir hands, pressing his favourite symbol in ASL into their palms.

“I love you.”

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Thank you for reading!!! Once again, if you like this, leave a comment or something, idk. And make sure to go check out the story linked at the top of this post for more about the mute!Karl Jacobs hc.

Have an amazing day, wonderful people.

[afishcalledfatin]

kítrinos - Qian Kun

kitrinos( κίτρινος)  - yellow

pairings: professor!Kun x fem student reader

summary:  meeting Cyan was either a horrible mistake or a blessing in disguise. In a world where soulmates exist, you were starting to believe that yours didn't exist. Not until, you picked yellow from Cyan's book of colours which transported you to another reality where your soulmate's feelings are shown on you when you share the same emotion. Sharing a rare mark made things easier but theres a catch, both of you won't know until the very last moment. What will happen then?

genre: studentxteacher, fluff, angst

warnings: mentions of death, losing eyesight, arguments, swearing

A/N: Hello lovelies! this is for the colours collab made by @neo-cult-ure i’d like to thank everyone for supporting us and i’d also like to thank the other writers for being so lovely and amazing and just being a great bunch of people. also want to thank @fairielightsss​ for proof reading this. to be honest, this isnt greatly written. there will be many  mistakes so bare with me. so i hope i dont offend anyone and i apologise for any mistakes.

P.S: I recommend listening to this which will give you a good feel on the story. i also recommend watching Howl’s Moving Castle to understand some of the references, but if you haven’t then its okay!

As the sky fades into the night sky, your eyelids begin to droop and the attention towards the song had started to slowly make your head spin. The need to finish practising this piece kept you awake in fear of getting into big trouble with your lecturers. You slap your face in an attempt to make yourself stay awake before preparing to play the piano.

"Are you going to continue torturing yourself or should we head back?" Your best friend, Renjun said while walking into the music studio. You chuckled, "I'm almost done. Wanna wait for me?" You asked. He nodded as he sat on the edge of a table making himself comfortable. 

You’ve been practising a song from one of your favourite movies, Howl's Moving Castle but something didn't feel right. Renjun took note that you were taking longer than usual.

"How come you're struggling so much with this song?" Renjun asked. "I'm not saying this in a mean way but I've seen you play,” he said cautiously, not wanting to hurt you with his words. “This song should be easy compared to what you’re used to." He said with a tilt of his head, confusion hinted on his features.

You shrugged while deep in thought, "I know,” you took a deep breath, collecting your thoughts. “I can't explain it but it feels like this piece is missing something." you finally explained. 

He nodded at your words. He didn’t say anything more but you knew he wanted to ask more. You began playing the first few notes before Renjun gasped making you falter in your playing, "What if you were Sophie in your past life?” he said with wide eyes, “Better yet, what if you were the Witch of the Waste?" You stared at him with wide eyes holding confusion. "Really, Renjun?" You narrowed your eyes, not liking the way he was messing around.

"Just kidding." he laughed with eyes holding mischief. You broke down your façade and laughed. Shaking your head, you ended the song frustratedly.

"That's it, I'm continuing tomorrow." You sighed and got up, slinging your bag over your shoulder. 

"Jaemin asked if you wanted to a sleepover?" You nodded excitedly and Renjun cheered as both of you walked out.

Throughout the walk back, you tried to wrap your brain mind around the question, "Why did that song feel different?" you mumbled to yourself. Beside you, Renjun was questioning your unusually quiet behaviour.

When you were offered to play for the school's annual dinner, you were completely overwhelmed and honoured. They gave you a selection of songs but this song attracted you the most.

Why?

The walk was eerie and quiet, you could feel the cold and sharp air pricking at your skin. Renjun stood close to you when you suddenly heard footsteps behind you. 

You turned around and you were greeted by an old lady. You real ed it was a lady named Cyan from when you both met earlier today. She was a funny looking lady who showed you her book of colours. She told you to pick one and you chose yellow. She also mentioned something about a soulmate but you weren't really paying attention.

"Cyan?" You called. The footsteps quickened. 

"What are you-" 

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Everything will make sense soon." She said hurriedly, cutting you off.

"What do you mean?" She smiled and pulled out a pouch from her pocket, blowing a yellow powder onto you. You waved your hands around to try and stop her while Renjun was beside screaming at the old lady but to no avail, the powder dusted your figure. Next thing you knew, everything went black. 

You drummed your fingers across the table, waiting for Jaemin and Renjun to arrive. 

You were the only one in the studio and the silence was driving you mad. With a loud sigh and you reached in and grabbed a chocolate bar from your backpack, unwrapping it. Just as you were going to eat it, the door opened. 

Low and behold it was your favourite lecturer, Professor Qian or more casually known as Kun. It depends on when you're talking to him. Walking to his table and he places his stuff down before realising you were in the studio. 

"I'm hurt Y/N." He starts. You grinned, leaning forward, "Why is that, Kun?" 

"Professor Qian in class, missy." He points.

You rolled your eyes and snorted. "Okay, why are you hurt, Professor Qian?" You repeated. 

"Well, I come in and the first thing I see is your feet on the table and you’re eating a chocolate bar. And you didn't even bother asking if I wanted some." He wipes a fake tear. 

You laughed and jogged to his table, "Aha, but the thing is, sir," you showed the extra bar you brought for him, "I already brought an extra for you." You passed it to him. He chuckled, "Well, won't you look at that. I knew I chose the right favourite student." 

You snorted, "The only reason I'm your favourite student is that I'm the only one playing the piano in this class." You stated. “And secondly if I’m not mistaken Professor Qian,” you continued, eyes holding mischief, “Didn’t you say Jisung was your favourite student last week? And Sara about two days ago?” you hummed, a hand on your chin with a pondering look on your face.

He laughed and shook his head, "I'm guilty. I love all of you equally." He raised both his hands defensively. "Ah, I wanna ask you a question." He walked over to the other side of the table, sitting on the edge of it while facing you. 

"How would you feel about playing with me?" He suddenly said. You raised a brow.

"Wow, Sir, I didn't know you were that adventurous." You wiggled your brows. Kun furrowed his brows, "What are you- OH MY GOD Y/N NO, NOT LIKE THAT." he said embarrassedly, hiding his face in his hands. You burst out into laughter, clutching your stomach as you saw your teacher getting flustered. 

"Geez, Y/N, go clean that brain of yours." He rubbed his temples. You punched his shoulder lightly, sitting next to him on the table. 

"Well, you should've worded it better. It's not every day you hear your professor asking to play with him. Anyways, what did you mean by that?" You asked him. 

"I meant doing a duet performance with me during the annual dinner." He explained. 

"Ahh, I see. What song are we talking about though?" You turned to him.

He rolled up his sleeves and crossed his arms, "I was thinking Merry Go Round Of Life? Y'know the one from Howl's Moving Castle." He sat on the edge of the table.

"I'd love to do it but you could easily do that song alone. Why do you need me?" You asked, genuinely confused. You've seen how Kun plays and it's absolutely amazing. It doesn't make sense why he would need you. 

He scratched the back of his neck, "Well, it is a dinner with both the lecturers and students. I thought it would be cool to have us both play. Plus, imagine the power of both of us playing." He bumped your shoulder with his.

"Are you complimenting my skills?" You asked shock painted on your face. He looked quite taken aback, "Y/N, I'm pretty sure I've made it clear that I'm very impressed with your skills since day one." 

Ah, first class, you remembered when Kun walked in and he did an evaluation test on all of you. 

As both of you walked to class, you were greeted by a squeal. "Renjun! Y/N!" You smiled and ran to Jaemin, giving him a hug.

"How were holidays, babe?" Hewereapped an arm around both of your shoulders. 

"It was nice to go back home, my parents kept pestering us on our soulmates though," Renjun informed. 

"Have you found yours yet?" You asked Jaemin. He smiled softly, looking at you shyly as he nodded slowly. 

You squealed and began jumping with him. "Congratulations, honey!" You hugged him tightly.

"What's she like?" Renjun asked.

"She's so… perfect." he sighed dreamily. You and Renjun began poking fun at him and teasing him.

“What did it feel like?” you asked curiously.

“Not gonna lie, it hurt like a bitch when the mark burnt off but after that everything was amazing,” he explained as you sat in between the two of them. 

"What was your colour?" You asked. 

"It was grey," he said proudly. Renjun snorted, "What were both of you confused about?" he said shaking his head. 

"Well, I was confused about what to order and she was confused about a math question. We suddenly felt the mark stinging and I immediately looked around and there she was, all cute and blushing." He said dreamily.

The door opened and a chill pricked at your skin. You turned around to see an unknown man walking in. You went to sit down with your friends. "I think he's the new lecturer," Jaemin whispered to you. 

"Good morning, everyone. You may call me Professor Qian, I'll be teaching you from now on. So let's start shall we?" He said. 

You heard the chatter of the girls behind you, "oh, Woah, he's really handsome" You grinned, he really was.

He wore a blue button-down shirt with a pair of brown slacks. His brown locks gelled back nicely. Kun The professor looked around the studio and his nerves calmed down, everyone seemed quite friendly. This was his first time teaching and he worried he would make a bad impression. 

"According to Madam Rowena, your previous lecturer, she informed me to do an evaluation test first so that I'll know what level you're all at but I'm pretty sure you're all very advanced, let's start with that." He took out a list from his bag, and he began to read out the names of your classmates.

Everyone had to play a song on their respective instrument. You took note of your classmates looking nervous, trying their best not to mess up.

"Alright, thank you, Ms Seo. Now, Ms Y/L/N?" He looked around.

You raised your hand and walked towards the piano. 

"Are you the only pianist?" He suddenly asked you. 

"Yes, I am." You said nervously. He nodded, signalling for you to proceed. He continued reading the list, pushing his glasses to sit comfortably on the bridge of his nose. You breathed in, immediately pressing the right keys to Victor’s solo in the Corpse Bride. 

His eyes perked up as he watched closely. He watched as you focused on the song and your fingers moved with grace. He could feel the passion wafting off of you as you played. The beautiful tune resonating around the room. 

Your classmates watched in awe, they've always enjoyed watching you play. You were the best in the class after all. To everyone, this was a sweet melody that you knew, but it meant so much more than that. 

It was a painful memory.

As you hit the last note, your breathing turned rapid. Everything was quiet before everyone began clapping and cheering. 

"Thank you, Ms Y/L/N. You may return to your seat." He smiled softly. You nod and return to your seat. 

"You surprised him, Y/N," Jaemin whispered as both of you watched Renjun play his flute. 

"What do you mean?" You asked quietly. 

"Throughout the entire evaluation, he hasn't looked up. Except for when you began playing." he nudged you with his elbow. 

"Sure, Jaem. Sure." You rolled your eyes. 

"So, do you wanna do it?" He asked. You thought about it again. Your mind weighing the pros and cons before coming to a conclusion, "Sure, plus I get to annoy you even more now." You teased as you walked over to your seat. 

"Oh god please protect me from this child." He said out loud.

You were going to counter when Jaemin and Renjun came in, sandwiches in their hands. 

"Professor Qian~" Jaemin bowed. "Good morning!" He said cutely. 

"Morning, Jaemin, Renjun." He smiled back. Jaemin and Renjun walked up to your usual seats, plopping beside you.

"What were both of you doing alone, huh?" Renjun asked. 

"Talking?" You replied. 

Jaemin snorted, "Yeah, and I have three legs." He added. You scowled and pinched his arm causing him to yelp. Soon, the class began to fill up and Kun started teaching.

As class ended, you walked up to Kun and sat on the edge of his table. "So, what day are we practising?" You asked. Kun turned around at the sound of your voice, he loosened his tie and slid his hands into his pockets. 

"It's up to you, kiddo. The dinner is on the 25th." He said nonchalantly. Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open. "Wait, 25th?" You stuttered. He nodded. "That's not too far away!" You squeaked. 

Kun shrugged, "I've seen you master a new song in three days. This is easy for you." He claimed. 

"But Kun, this is a performance in front of many people. Not just the class. Plus, I'm going to be playing with you, how are you so sure I'll be able to keep up with you?" You whined. 

Kun walked closer to you and patted your head, "You'll be fine and you'll do so amazing. Like usual." He reassured you. Your cheeks warmed, "thanks, Kun." You picked at some dust off your sweater. 

"I'll tell you what, we'll practise twice a week. The duration is up to you. We can do it for 20 minutes or 2 hours. I'm okay with anything." You pouted, "Kun, that's not fair on you. I'm pretty sure you're busy as well." 

"Y/N, I'm a single male with a cat and several assignments to check. Do I look like I have plans soon?" He joked. You laughed lightly, "How are the guys and Louis, by the way?" You asked.

"They're great. Xuxi recently adopted a puppy named Bella so the house is a bit noisier than usual." He said. You giggled, "Must be fun." 

“You should visit someday. The boys really miss you,” he said. 

“Sure. how about this Friday?” you asked. He nodded, “Should be fine. Bring Jaemin and Renjun too if you’d like.” 

“I’ll inform them then.” you smiled. 

 You threw your bag over your shoulder, “So, Wednesday?” 

He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest, “Yeah. Want me to bring snacks for you?”

You placed a hand over your heart, “You know me so well. Yes please.” you nodded cutely.

He shook his head, “I’ll see you then, yeah?” he waved. You skipped out of the class, nearly smacking face-first into the door.

"Oops…" you nervously turned and ran out. 

Kun chuckled, shaking his head. "Clumsy girl." He muttered. 

"Nana! Injunnie!" You ran, wrapping your arms around their necks. 

"Wanna follow me to Professor Qian's house this Friday? They’ve recently gotten a puppy." You said. They immediately nodded their heads at your suggestion, "sounds great! We'll bring food as well." Jaemin added.

The three of you hung out for lunch, chatting about any new events that seem to catch your ears. "Oh, what were you and Professor Qian talking about?" Renjun sipped on his hot chocolate.

You grinned, "he asked me to perform with him during the dinner." You beamed.

The two boys clapped excitedly, "That's so cool, Y/N!" They both gave you a side hug.

After talking a bit, Jaemin sighed. "I can't believe we're graduating soon." He said sadly.

"I know right? A few more exams and,” you paused, “we're out." It dawned on you that you wouldn't be able to see them all time like usual. You began tearing up at the thought, "Guys,” you said softly, grabbing both the males’ attention, “Promise me we won't drift apart." You sniffled. 

Renjun and Jaemin pouted, "Oh baby." Renjun got out of his seat to hug you. Jaemin too soon after.

"We promise. Also, we'll still meet up as much as we can. I don't care if it's once a week or month, I just need to see you guys." Jaemin tugged at his sweater sleeves. Before you could finish your lunch, the three of you were a sobbing mess. You loved the two of them so much, they were your best friends. 

You got off your motorbike and sighed before turning the doorknob. You opened the door only to be graced with the familiar sound of to Italian Opera music and the smell of brownies. You tried to sneak upstairs, avoiding getting called.

"Y/N, is that you?" The soft voice asked. You turned slowly, "Yeah, it's me." You stood in the middle of the stairs.

You saw your stepmother walk out the kitchen, cocoa powder on her apron and some flour on her cheek. 

"How was your day, dear?" She asked. You shrugged, "It was okay, I guess." 

Silence. This was your routine every day for two years. She'd ask how your day was and you'd stand awkwardly. 

"I'm gonna head upstairs. I'm tired." You said stuttering between your words, not looking at her.

"Oh, uh yes. Well, there's some brownies on the oven if you'd want me to bring some up?" You shook your head, "It's okay. I'll get them myself." you said politely. Before she could reply you walked into your room, closing the door behind you. 

Your mom passed away when you turned 7, so all that was left was you and your dad. For a very long time. Even then, you remember him not really being around for most of your childhood. You were brought up by your grandmother. Though whenever your dad left for business trips, he would never fail to always bring back a gift for you.

However, you didn’t expect him to bring back a woman on your 20th birthday. Anyways, Not wanting to stay for long, so you called Jaemin and asked if it was okay to sleep over and he agreed.

You walked down the stairs, peeking into the kitchen and grabbing a brownie. You saw her sitting in the living room and you’d thought it would be best to just inform her. She noticed your presence and immediately straightened up.

“Uh, I’m gonna sleep over at Jaemin’s.” you awkwardly scuff your feet against the hardwood floor.

She nodded, “Alright then, stay safe.” she smiled. “Your father will be coming back tomorrow afternoon, by the way.” 

You nodded, “Ah, okay. Thanks for informing me.” you scratch the back of your neck. 

“No problem, Y/N.” she replied.

You head out, starting your motorbike and riding it away from your house. It’s not like you hated her, it’s just hard to accept someone. It doesn’t help that Dad is barely home so things get even more awkward when it’s just the two of you.

Your mom wasn’t there to help you out when you got your first period or for you to talk to when you had your first crush on a boy. The only person who you could talk to about these things was your grandmother who had sadly passed away a year ago. Sometimes, you wish you called her more often to check up on her. 

A tear trickled down your cheek, you sighed. “I miss you so much,” you whispered. 

Upon arriving at your best friends house, you parked your motorbike and knocked on the door.

“Coming!” you heard Renjun running to the door. “Hello again~” Renjun leaned on the door. 

“Hey boo.” you poked his stomach and walked in. “So, what are we going to do tonight?” You asked.

“I would’ve wanted to say drinks but we’re broke so pizza and movies sound good?” Jaemin pointed to the mountain of pillows and boxes of pizza. “It’s perfect.” you beamed.

You changed into the pyjamas you brought and settled into the pillow fort. 

“What are we watching?” you asked. Renjun shrugged, “Nana wanted to watch a rom-com.”

Jaemin came crashing down into the pile of pillows. “We’re watching Sensei Kunshu.” he said excitedly, n,t hesitating to press play.

“What’s it about?” you pulled the blanket over your body as you took a slice of pizza. 

“It’s about a girl who falls in love with her teacher.” Jaemin chomped onto a breadstick.

Thirty minutes in and you can’t help but hide behind the blankets, you loved the movie so far but you had to admit, you got second-hand embarrassment watching the movie.

“AYUHA, PLEASE,” Renjun screamed at the main character along with some incoherent noises. Frustration dripping from his words.

“I need to pee,” you said as you ran towards the toilet. 

As you were walking out, you suddenly felt a buzz, it was Kun. you opened the message to see a document he sent.

“These are the notes for the song! You can try playing it first :)”

You smiled and quickly typed back a response,

Thanks, Kun! I’ll see you soon.”

“What are you smiling about?” Renjun asked he sipped on his drink. “Kun sent me the sheet music for the song we’re going to perform.”

“Ahh, what a fitting movie~,” Jaemin said in a sing-song voice as he wiggled his brows. Your brows knitted, “What?”

Renjun smirked, “You and Professor Qian?” you gasped and plopped in between them. 

“No! he’s like an older brother, friend kinda thing.” you tried to explain.

“I like how that was your reason and not simply because he’s our teacher.” Jaemin giggled.

You pinch his arm lightly, “Shut up.” you pout.

“It’s true though, Y/N. everyone in the class agrees.”

“EXCUSE ME, WHAT?” you shrieked. 

“Let's put it like this, you guys act as if you’ve been engaged for two years and you live in a studio apartment along with your two cats and you travel around the world to perform at concerts,” Renjun stated.

Jaemin began clapping, “Bravo, my boy, bravo.” he pointed “That’s basically how everyone sees you guys.” he drank his cola. “Also, you can’t deny the fact that he has a soft spot for you. He’s already a genuinely nice guy but when it comes to you, it’s on another level. This performance is basically feeding us and our classmates with good content.”

You sat there and thought about it. Yes, you were much closer to Kun then others but you didn’t know your classmates shipped the two of you.

“Whatever, it’s not gonna happen anyways,” you said whilst shaking your head, silencing the both of them. “Plus, we both have our own soulmates.” you pointed out as you reached out and grabbed a slice of pizza.

Renjun was going to argue until he heard your ringtone. 

It was your stepmom. 

Your brows furrowed, “Hello?” you started.

“Hey, Y/N, I know you’re at your friends’ house but you might need to come back soon. By tomorrow morning.”

Your brows knitted, Renjun and Jaemin sat next to you, wondering and waiting on you to tell them what’s going on.

“What? Why?” you asked, a tad bit irritated. 

“Your father is arriving home sooner than expected.” you groaned internally, “How soon?” you asked.

“I think around 8 in the morning?” you rubbed your face, 

“I’ll come back now.” you hung up and slammed your body back onto the pillows.

“Looks like I have to head out, fellas.” you got up and helped them clean up.

“We’re really sorry, Y/N,” they said in unison. You waved them off as you stuffed the last breadstick into your mouth, “It’s okay, guys. Plus, my dad probably wanted to ‘surprise’ us.” you muffled.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, woman.” Jaemin bumped you with his hip.

“Sorry.” you giggle.

After cleaning up, you said goodbye and headed back home.

You carefully got upstairs, she was probably asleep so you didn’t want to wake her up.

You opened the door and plopped onto your bed, turning off the lights and falling fast asleep.

You heard laughter and chatter downstairs as you woke up. You stretched your tired limbs and went down. Your dad was hugging your stepmom and they were just chatting about something.

“Y/N!” he called. You walked down the stairs and greeted him. “Hi, dad.” 

He smiled and immediately went for his bag. “Here you go, I got you this.” 

Like usual, he’ll hand you the gift before asking anything.

In his hand was a black box with a white ribbon on it. You opened it and smiled, “Thank you.” 

“No problem, kiddo. Now, what’s for breakfast?” he turned to your stepmom and held his stomach. They both walked to the kitchen, your father’s hand wrapped around her waist.

In the box was a beautiful, sapphire necklace. You closed the box and walked to the kitchen where your dad was already eating.

She prepared a plate for you, placing it next to your dad. 

You sat down and began eating at the hearty breakfast she prepared. 

"So, how's school?" He starts. You swallow and face him, "everything's going well, my exams are in a few weeks and then I'll be performing at the annual dinner." 

“Wow, really? That’s very exciting!” Lilian praised.

"That's great honey." He says, unimpressed as he checks his phone. 

"Do you have a boyfriend yet?" He suddenly asked. You choked on your toast, drinking a bit of water to ease your throat. 

"Uh, no." you shook your head, “I’ve been really busy so… yeah.”

“When you do, make sure you bring him for dinner.” he points at you with his fork.

It sucked how you couldn’t talk to your dad like old times. It’s not that you didn’t want to but it seemed like he only cared about work and making sure your grades are absolute perfection.

“How about that Jaemin boy? Or Renjun? They’re from very good families.” he asked. Your stepmom walked behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders, “Sweetie, they’re her friends. Also, you should always wait for your soulmate when the time comes.”

You’re lost for words and you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable.

“Uh, I have to get ready for class.” you shuffled out of your seat. 

When you entered your room, you leaned against the door and let out a long sigh. 

It's like I don't know you anymore...

Kun sat at the counter, stirring his coffee. 

I hope the song works this time, he thought.

Kun furiously pressed at the keys, getting agitated by the silly mistakes he seemed to have made. He was going to reach the end but he accidentally pressed a different note, causing him to groan. 

"What's up with you?" Sicheng walked towards his roommate. "You've been at it for 3 hours now." He leaned against Kun's piano in his room. 

"Sorry, must've been really noisy huh?" He asked Sicheng apologetically. Sicheng waved him off, "Pft, it's okay. They're much noisier downstairs." 

They laughed a little before Sicheng sat next to him. "What seems to be the problem?" He asked Kun. 

Kun sighs, "I know this might sound weird but for some reason, this song doesn't feel… complete to me? I don't know how to explain it but it feels like I'm just pressing notes rather than actually feeling the song. I can’t seem to play it at all." 

Sicheng's brows knitted, "Have you tried playing with someone?" Sicheng asked. 

Kun nodded, "I played it with Johnny, Taeil, Doyoung and all those tries failed as well. I don't know who else to ask." He rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Okay, c'mon let's try." Kun excitedly nodded at Sicheng's suggestion. Maybe he just needed someone he was a lot closer to. 

The song started out smoothly, like usual but then suddenly, both of them played the wrong key. 

"Huh…" Sicheng placed his hands on his hips. 

"Exactly. It's always there." Kun got up and sat on his bed. 

"Maybe… change the song?" Sicheng suggested. Kun shook his head defiantly, "No, there's something about this song and I can't put my finger on it. It's stressing me out. I could easily play that… I just don't know why I can't right now." He ran his fingers through his brown locks. 

Sicheng leaned against the piano, "How about playing with your students?" He asked.

"Y/N is the only one who plays the piano right?" He pointed out. "Why don't you try with her?" He smiled. 

"Actually… that's not a bad idea." He stood up and paced around the room. 

"I'm going to ask her. If the song still fails, I'll change the song." 

"Kun? KUN!" he heard the loudest clap ringing in his ears. He turned and saw Yukhei who was pressing Bella to his chest, staring at him worriedly.

"Oh, hey Xuxi. What's up?" He asked, still quite dazed. 

"Uh, you're gonna be late for your class, again." He pointed to the clock on the wall. 

Kun's eyes widened, he ran out the kitchen, suitcase and keys in hand.

"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT." he repeated as he started his car. 

"Kun, your coffee!" Yukhei stood by the doorway with the mug in hand. 

Kun waved him off, "You can have it, man." He yelled before speeding off. 

Kun ran, making sure he wasn't too late. He kept checking his watch over and over until he bumped into another body.

"Oomph!" The voice squeaked. He turned around and saw Y/N on the floor, rubbing her back.

"Oh thank god it's just you." He breathed. 

You scoff, "Are you late, again?" You got up, feeling a bit sore from landing on your butt. "Also, what's that supposed to mean?" You poked at his chest. 

"Yes, and it means I won't be awkwardly apologising to some random student I've never met before." He brushed the dust off his pants. "So, I'm sorry and I'll buy you snacks. See you later, byeee!" He said as he ran off to his class. 

You shook your head, smiling a little. 

"Silly professor." 

Your music history class had ended and you stretched your stiff limbs. 

"I love music history but Miss Leanne makes it so… miserable." Renjun rubbed his sleepy eyes. 

You snicker, "same. I'm pretty sure I nearly dozed off twice." You yawn. 

"Y/N, are you coming over later?" Jaemin asked. You shook your head, "I don't think so, bubs. I have practice with Professor Qian and my dad is home so he probably wants to 'spend time' together." You rolled your eyes.

Jaemin pats your back, "He's still at it, huh?" 

You nod angrily, "he always complains how I never want to spend time with them but when we do, he's always on his phone leaving me and my stepmom to talk." You rant. 

"But you don't talk to your stepmom?" Renjun pointed out.

"Exactly! Do you know how awkward it was? Also, this morning he asked me if I had a boyfriend and told me to date either one of you." 

Their eyes widened, "Sweetie, I love you but I'm taken." Jaemin pointed at where his mark once was. 

"Yeah, I love you too but you're like a sister to me." Renjun shrugged. "I can't imagine dating you." He admitted. 

"THANK YOU! Now, tell my dad that." You groaned.

You checked your wristwatch and it was almost time for practice. You pat both of their shoulders, "I've got practice in a few minutes. Wanna call later?" You asked. 

They nodded, "Is it okay if Minseo joins? She's visiting us." Jaemin asked. 

You nodded, "of course! Also, tell her I'm really sorry for not being able to meet her properly, I swear after graduation both of us are gonna go on dates without you." You winked. 

Jaemin looked incredibly offended, "It's bad enough that both of you gossip about everything. Now, this. I feel so betrayed, my best friend and girlfriend." He grasped his chest, leaning onto Renjun.

"There, there, bud. You have me." Renjun patted his shoulder.

You laughed, walking towards the opposite direction, "I'll talk to you guys later!" You waved and jogged towards the studio. 

Walking into the studio, you saw Kun with his eyes shut and earphones in, on his chair with his feet propped on the table. 

You giggle softly, walking up towards him and tapping him lightly. 

"Professor Qian?" surprisingly, your light tap caused him to wake up in shock.

"Fuck!" He yelled right before falling off his chair. You panicked and quickly helped him up. 

"Jeez Y/N, you gave me a heart attack." He uttered. 

"Sorry about that." You grinned mischievously. You noticed his face and sluggish movements. "Are you okay? You don't look so well." You commented. 

He smiled, "I'm fine. I just haven't had any coffee today so I'm a bit sleepier than usual." Your mouth formed an 'o' until you remembered you had a thermos of coffee. 

You pulled out the metal thermos and poured some into the cup. You handed it to him, "Here! I usually give this to Jaemin and Renjun to drink but it won't hurt if you had some." You smiled. 

He chuckled, "Thank you, Y/N." He took the small cup and sipped on the warm liquid. 

"Ah, just what I needed." A few more sips and he looked a bit more energetic. 

"Are you ready for practice?" He asked you. You nod excitedly, "Sir, yes sir!" You salute. 

Both of you shared a laugh before heading to the grand piano. 

You took out the sheet music you printed earlier and arranged it on the music rack. 

"Have you played the song yet?" He asked. You shook your head, "Nope, sorry." You apologised. He bumped his shoulder with yours, "It's okay." 

Truthfully, Kun was nervous. He really wanted to play this piece. Why? He had no clue. It just felt right. 

He silently prayed it would finally work. 

You looked over the notes a few times, processing each bar and note. 

"Ready?" He asked. You nod, your eyes not tearing away from the sheet music. 

He began playing first and eventually you followed along. 

So far so good. He thought

The song began to form a sweet and beautiful melody that resonated around the room. Both hands working together in harmony. 

It was reaching the part where Kun would always fail but both of you went through it swiftly, not a mistake in sight. Kun's eyes widened as he couldn't hide his wide smile. 

Y/N was too focused on the song to realise her partner's reaction. As the song came to an end, both bodies began breathing heavily, as if they were dancing together. 

Kun turned to you with a full-blown smile. "I don't think we'll need that much practice. That was incredible!" He cheered. 

You laughed at your professor's cute reaction. "Surprisingly, yes. We did quite well for a first try." You agreed. 

Kun couldn't believe it. All this time, he was struggling to play this song alone or with someone else when really all he needed was you. 

"This calls for a celebration!" He clapped. He ran out of the studio, stopping by the door "Wait here!" He said excitedly. 

You giggled as you watched him run off somewhere. You sat in the studio, looking around and realising that soon, you won't be coming here anymore. 

You won't be having music evaluations all the time, or you won't get to play together as a class anymore.

And most importantly, you won't get to see Kun anymore. 

Your heart suddenly clenched at the sudden thought, you placed a hand on your chest and rubbed it to ease the tight feeling. 

Although Kun was your professor, he has always been more to you. 

An older brother? A friend? A guardian angel?

He would always listen to whatever you had to talk about, he basically knew everything about you except for your family situation. 

"Snacks for my prized student!" He ran in, bags of different kinds of snacks in hand. 

You let out a loud laugh, watching as he ran in. 

He sat down on the floor and opened the bags and placed it towards you. "Here you go!" 

Both of you began chowing down on the junks and you noticed how it was a bit too quiet for your liking. 

"Wanna play 20 questions?" You suggested. He nodded, "sounds good." He popped a chip into his mouth. "You go first." He said. 

"Okay… your favourite time of the year?" You asked. He thought about it and snapped his fingers, "I really enjoy the springtime. Everything is in bloom and the weather is just right." He explained. 

"Alright, how are you always arriving to class so much earlier than everyone else?" He asked. 

You took a piece of popcorn, "Uhm… I just like to get out of my house as fast as possible." You uttered. Kun's playful expression soon changed to a more serious and worried one. 

"What do you mean by that?" He asked. You threw a piece of popcorn to him. "That's two questions, sir. My turn first." You joked. He rolled his eyes playfully as he threw a piece of popcorn in the air and catching it with his mouth. 

"Your thoughts on soulmates and the process of finding them." You asked. 

Kun straightened up. This topic has always been a bit touchy for him and it wasn't because he doesn't believe in it but it's because he can't find his soulmate mark. He's checked every inch of his body and it was nowhere to be seen. 

"I think… soulmates are a fascinating concept. Just the thought that there's someone out there for you who will make you feel whole and loved till the end of your days is just so beautiful."

"As for the process, I wish it was easier. I wish it was something more noticeable, y' know?" 

You stared at Kun. You've never seen this side of him and you're glad you did. Kun played around with his shoelaces, a simple and cute action.

"Okay, my turn. Same question, why do you like leaving your house early?" He asked. 

You sighed, "I promised myself not to drag you into this but since you asked," you breathed out. "My relationship with my dad and step-mom is kind of… awkward." you started.

"You see, it's not like they're mean to me or anything, it's just that I wasn't really close to my dad, to begin with, and he married a lady two years ago and well, it's especially worse whenever he leaves for trips." You explained. 

"And whenever I do see my dad, it's always about work. It's really difficult for me to hold a proper conversation with them." you drank a bit of Sprite. 

"So, in short, you don't hate them, you're just not close to them…?" He asked. You nodded, "Basically." 

"Ah, I see." He continued. "What's your stepmom like?" He asked. 

You shrugged, "She's nice and all but I've never experienced a proper mother and daughter relationship so maybe that's why it's a bit hard for me to accept her. The only motherly figure I had was my grandma." 

He nodded, "That's understandable but you should give her a chance. Maybe get to know her a bit. She could be a great person." He suggested. 

You shrugged, "One day, I'll try." You said. He nodded, “Slowly but surely, Y/N.”

Many questions later and soon both of you were sprawled on the floor, full of junk food. 

"I feel so… bloated." You said. He burped, "Yeah." He agreed. 

You turned over to face him, "If someone were to pass by, they'd think we're friends and not teacher and student." You joked.

His brows furrowed as he turned to face you, his face slightly closer to yours. 

"Aren't we friends though?" He turned to you. You stared into those beautiful, brown eyes and smiled softly. 

All this time, you never knew Kun saw you as a friend. You always just thought he saw you as a friendly student but now that he said that, you couldn't help but feel your heart swell.

"Yeah, I guess we are." 

You reached home, your body still feeling a little giddy from earlier. You didn't know what it was but the way he stared at you made you feel a certain way. 

Before opening the door, you sighed. You began patting your face.

"Y/N, he probably has a soulmate and you have yours. We can't ruin the process just because of some stupid crush you have. C'mon girly, push those feelings aside for now. He's just being friendly." You told yourself. 

Walking into the house, you heard the same Italian opera but this time you heard laughter. You walked towards the laughter and saw your father and stepmom slow dancing. 

You wanted to leave them to it but you couldn't help but watch. Something about the way your father was softly caressing her hair as she rested her head on his chest made your chest warm a little. 

"Oh Y/N!" Your stepmom noticed your presence.

"Uh hi." You waved. Her cheeks were turning a soft shade of pink while your dad couldn't help but laugh. 

"No, no, keep going. Don't let me be the reason for you guys to stop. I'll be upstairs." You teased lightly as you walked up. You turned on your computer and waited for Jaemin and Renjun.

"Hey bubs, how was practice?" Renjun asked. 

You sigh, a longing looks evident on her face, “It was good." 

Kun reached home excitedly, wanting to tell Sicheng about Y/N.

"Dong Sicheng!" He called. Sicheng who was working in the kitchen peeked through the walkway, "Oh hey Kun." He walked towards Kun, keeping his glasses in his pocket. 

Kun gave Sicheng a big hug, "it worked, Y/N helped me finish the song." He said. Sicheng smiled and patted Kun's back. 

Kun began telling Sicheng about everything that happened and Sicheng noticed how there were crows feet forming at the side of Kun's eyes and how he was smiling so much.

And Kun wasn't just talking about the earlier events but he was talking about how amazing you are, as a person. 

Sicheng grinned and thought to himself, for the first time ever, Kun actually likes someone.

"So, he got your snacks after class? That's so nice!" Jaemin pouted. 

"I'll buy you snacks, love." Minseo kissed his cheek. 

Renjun made a face, "I've never felt more single." He sighed. 

You let out a laugh, "It's okay, me too." you reassured Renjun. Jaemin smacked Renjun on the back, “Dude, don’t worry she’s out there somewhere! You just gotta keep hoping and never stop believing” Jaemin gave him a side hug, “Also, here!” he gave a fat kiss on Renjun’s cheek.

“OH MY GOD JAEMIN, WHY?” Renjun screeched. Jaemin grinned, proud of himself, “You needed some love and I gave it.” he said.

Minseo looked at you and you turned to her, shaking your head. “Do you now know what I have to deal with every day?” you pointed. Minseo giggled and nodded, “They are quite a handful.” she agreed.

“You too, Y/N. Don’t give up, be patient, and hope for the best.” Renjun finally pushed Jaemin’s face away and smiled. The corner of your lip raised slightly.

“AND BY THE BEST, HE MEANS PROFESSOR QIAN!” Jaemin pushed Renjun out of the frame.

You groaned and gave yourself a facepalm, “Really, Nana?” you shook your head.

 Just as you were going to continue, you heard a faint knock on your door.

“Come in.” you press mute on your mic. Your stepmom walked in with a plate of cookies.

“Hi, dear. I made these earlier. I thought maybe you’d like to try some.” she handed the plate to you. You smiled softly, “Thank you, Lilian.” you thanked her. Her eyes widened and she tried to hide her wide smile. 

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything, okay? Your father had gone to play golf with a few friends.” you chuckled, “What’s new?” you joked and she laughed along. 

The door closed and you turned to the screen, Renjun and Jaemin watching you with their eyes widened and mouths hanging.

“Did… did you just have a proper conversation with her?” Renjun asked, clearly shocked. You shrugged, “She came all the way up here to give me cookies, plus, I was just thanking her.” you bit into one and it was absolutely delicious.

Slowly but surely.

“Kun, this part is a bit confusing. Can we try again?” you asked. Kun nodded and the both of you were playing again and again but something was missing.

It wasn’t the same as the first day and both of you knew it. “What are we doing wrong?” you whispered.

“You noticed too, huh?” he asked, sweat trickling down his forehead. You nodded with scrunched brows. “I don’t get it, we were playing just fine the other day.” 

You breathed out and looked over the music sheets. “This is the fifth time we tried. What could it be?” 

Kun stood behind Y/N and stared at the piano, he was trying to figure out the solution to this.

A sudden knock scared the both of you, “Mr Qian?”, Mr Micheals, the music therapy teacher peeked into the room.

“Oh, Agus, how can I help you?” he turned. Professor Micheals didn’t seem to realise that you were there.

“I actually need you for a few minutes.” he gave Kun a knowing look. Kun’s eyes widened and he nodded, “I’ll be out in a sec,” he told Professor Micheals. 

He turned to you and he gave an apologetic look, “Y/N, I’m really sorry-”

“Wait what, no, no you don’t have to apologise. I’ll figure out what’s wrong with the song.” she smiled cutely.

He poked her cheek and grinned, running out of the studio.

She placed a hand on her cheek, at where he touched. The sudden action causing her to smile shyly, internally squealing.

She began to play the song but this time, it was much worse. On the first day, the song felt light and smooth. It was as if you were in the movie and experiencing all the magic. It was as if you were in the flower field with… him.

But today it was empty and it didn’t give you the same feeling. Why did Kun choose this song?

You decided to play a different song, for the time being. The piano solo played by Victor in Corpse Bride, your favourite.

Kun and Agus were going to walk in when he heard Y/N play a different song. She calmly pressed at the keys, the notes probably engraved in her mind.

Kun recognised the song, it was the song that caught his attention on the first day of class. The morning was cold and he was rather sleepy and would rather like to sleep in but alas, he was in the studio, having an evaluation test that was requested by their previous lecturer.

When he first called out Y/N, he didn’t think too much of her. Yes, she was very pretty and the beige overalls she wore on that day were very cute but that was all. 

It was no wonder, everyone seemed so excited to watch her play. She was… breathtakingly stunning.

And throughout that entire class, he looked up to see the young student show her talents. He looked around and noticed how engrossed her peers were as she played the song.

He was expecting to hear a classic but till this day, she has never once failed to surprise her. 

Kun watched as she played the same song, just like the first time, her expression was sad and you could tell the song meant something to her. But what?

“She really is a talented student. No wonder you chose her to play along with you.” Agus praised as he too watched by the doorway.

“Yeah, she’s incredible.”

There was a small but growing feeling in his heart that maybe, just maybe, Y/N was always meant to play this song with him all along. He didn’t need anyone else. It has always been her. 

But his heart sank at the harsh reality that someone better is out there waiting for her.

“So… why did Professor Micheals call you?” you asked. “Did you get into trouble?” you asked seriously.

He shook his head, “Mr Micheals was just informing me of something.” he waved the topic off. 

The walk to the parking lot was quiet, you were going to his house with Jaemin and Renjun a bit later. 

He walked you to your motorbike and you turned to him, "Thanks for walking me." You thanked him. He nodded, "it's the least I could do since I made you stay back." He said. 

You were going to get on but you turned to him. "We'll figure it out. I know we will." You looked at him with determination. 

"That's what I like to hear. I'll see you soon, Y/N." He spun on his heel and walked to his car. 

You smiled to yourself and wore your jacket and helmet. You made an order this morning at Kun's favourite noodle place across town. He told you he loved going there but he never had time to go. You thought it would be a nice surprise. 

You weren't planning on staying home for long, just needed a quick shower and a change of clothes.

"I'm home." You shut the door. Lilian walked in, wiping her hands with a towel. 

"Welcome home, dear." She said before massaging her head softly.

You walked towards her, "Are you alright?" You hesitantly asked. She nodded, "Of course, dear." She smiled.

"Are you sure? I have some medicine in my room if you'd like?" You offered. She shook her head, "I'm fine, Y/N. Just a little dizzy." 

You nodded, "Where's dad?" You asked. She sighed, "He had to attend a meeting in town." 

She looked down at the bags of food in your hands. 

She pointed at them, "I'm guessing you're going to Jaemin and Renjun's?" She grinned.

You shook your head, "It's a different friend. He and his housemates recently got a dog and he asked if we'd like to visit." You explained. 

She nodded and smiled, "I see. Well, tell the boys I said hi and be safe, okay?" She smiled one last time before turning around to the living room. 

You smiled, slowly but surely.

You walked to the kitchen counter and took out the two tupperwares of noodles you got for them. You got your dad's favourite beef noodle soup and potato and beef noodles. 

You took a post-it and wrote,

"bought you guys some food! I hope you like them, I might be home a bit late. :))" 

You ran to your room and took a quick shower and changed into a black turtleneck and tucked it into a pair of high waisted, beige pants.

You wore the necklace your dad bought for you and let your hair down. 

You looked at yourself, pretty proud of the look. Your eyes glanced to your medicine box. You smiled and took out the medicine that has helped you for coughing and headaches. You took your bag and skipped down the stairs. You walked back to the kitchen and placing the medicine on the note. 

You grabbed the food and placed it in between your legs as you started your motorbike. 

You heard the chatter and laughter outside their house and pressed the doorbell. 

The door opened and you were greeted by Yangyang. 

"Yangyang!" You squealed as you attacked him in a hug. 

"Hey, Y/N! Come on in, Jaemin and Renjun just arrived." You walked in and saw that everyone was preparing the food. 

"Everyone, Y/N is here!" Yangyang announced. 

Yukhei came running for you, picking you up and twirling you around. You laughed loudly, "Ah, it's good to see you again!" Yukhei gave one last squeeze. 

"I haven't seen you guys in so long." You smiled at the noisy but welcoming atmosphere. 

Xiaojun came in, Bella in his arms while Louis was playing around Hendery's feet. 

You squealed, "Oh my god, she's so small!" Xiaojun handed her to you.

You gave the puppy kisses, earning an adorable whine. You awe and tickled her little round belly.

"Okay, who is ready for some- Woah." Kun walked out of the kitchen, looking at you. 

He looked at you and his heart did a few turns. 

And the fact that you were being extremely adorable with Bella made it even better. 

You turned to Kun and waved at him. He wore a navy collared shirt, loosely tucked into a pair of black pants. 

You couldn't help but giggle at the pink mittens he was wearing. You placed Bella down and walked up to him.

"Look what I got for you!" You lifted the bag. He gasped, "But their shop is halfway across town!" His eyes widened. 

You nodded, "It's a quick trip if you go by motorbike. Plus, take it as a thank you." You handed it to him. 

He raised a brow, "what for?" He asked. 

"Well, firstly the snacks and well, for being an amazing teacher and friend." You smiled, giving him a hug. 

Before Kun could react, you walked to Renjun and Jaemin who were talking to Xiaojun and Yukhei. 

His face warmed and he ran to the kitchen where Sicheng was preparing the plates and cups. 

"What's up with you?" Sicheng asked. Kun jumped and shook his head, "Nothing, just a bit warm out there." 

Sicheng peeked outside and smirked when he saw Y/N. 

"Ah, I see. Well, I'll make sure to decrease the temperature then." He said cheekily as he walked out. 

Soon all of you were sitting around the living room and chowing down on all the good food. 

"Whoever made this, can I marry you?" You muttered without thinking.

Kun's eyes widened. Sicheng began cackling to the point he was coughing. 

"Kun made this! It's his speciality." Ten pointed at the beef and vegetable dish on the table. Your mouth fell and you turned to your two best friends who were holding in their laughter.

"Oh, uhm… it's really good!" You smiled awkwardly. 

"Thank you, Y/N." Kun looked down, hiding the now obvious red blush on his face.

It was nice seeing everyone talking, eating and overall enjoying each other's company. 

You were currently having a nice cup of coffee with Sicheng talking about random topics.

"How's practice going?" He asked. "It's been okay, I guess." 

Sicheng placed his mug down, "oh, you don't sound so pleased." He stated.

You shook your head, "no, no. Everything is good but in our recent practice sessions, the music just doesn't feel right." You explained.

"Y'know when you do something and it's perfect but for some reason, you can't do it ever again? That's what's been going on." Sicheng nodded as you spoke. 

"I can tell Kun is getting stressed out by it. He tends to blame himself for it but it's not his fault at all. I don't think I'm the right person for this." You continued.

Sicheng turned and saw Kun playing a board game with Jaemin and Hendery. 

He sighed and turned to you, "I don't know if he ever wanted to tell you this but… he's been stressed out over this song even before you played it together." 

You tilt your head to the side, "What do you mean?" 

"Kun hasn't been able to play this song by himself or with anyone else. It's like a block, he can't pass it no matter what."

"He had played it with a few other people, including myself but it never worked." 

"So, when I suggested playing it with you, he wasn't so hopeful at first. It's not because he doesn't believe in you but it's because he genuinely thought he could never play this song. When he came home telling me that you were the right person, he was beyond happy." 

"Y/N, you are the right person." He placed a hand on your shoulder. 

You parked your motorbike out at the garage and walked in. After the little talk you had with Sicheng, it made you think. Why am I so special? How come it only worked with me? 

You walked into the house and stopped dead in your tracks. You spotted Lilian unconscious in the living room. 

"Oh my god, Lilian!" You ran to her, dropping your bag on the floor. You began slapping her face lightly, trying to wake her up. 

She was still breathing but it was very slow. You quickly called an ambulance. They gave you instructions to try and wake her up but nothing seemed to have worked. 

Soon, you heard the sirens outside your house and the paramedics ran in.

"How long has she been unconscious?" They asked. You shook your head, "I-I don't know. I just got back." You stuttered. 

They took her out and you follow behind on your motorbike. 

She was brought into the ER and you were told to wait outside. You quickly called your dad, freaking out. 

"Hello? What's the matter?" Your dad asked, slightly annoyed. 

"D-dad… please come to the hospital. Something happened to Lilian." 

He was silent before he hung up. You waited and waited and waited. No one has come out to tell you what happened. 

Your dad rushed in, looking everywhere. 

"Dad!" You ran to him. 

For the first time in years, your dad gave you a proper hug. 

"Where is she? What happened?" He asked. 

"The doctors are still checking up on her." You said. 

"Miss Y/N?" You heard someone call you. You turned and pulled your dad with you. 

"Yes, that's me." You declared. 

"Well, the good news is she's awake. She experienced a sudden drop in her blood pressure. Do you know if she's had that problem before?" The doctor asked. 

You shook your head, so did your dad. "Well, it would be best if she stays in the hospital for a while. We would just like to observe her since she's never had this problem before." He informed him. 

"Ah, thank you, doctor." You bowed a little.

Your dad turned to you as soon as the doctor left. 

"Why didn't you call me sooner?" He asked, pain in his voice. 

"I came home and she was already on the floor." You said. Before you explained further, your dad turned you to face him.

"What? You weren't at home?" He asked, his face hardening. 

"Well, yeah. I got home and I even bought you guys food. I told her that I was leaving and she told me to stay safe." You explained.

"Was she already different before?" He asked.

"She did complain about a headache but she told me not to worry about it." You added. 

Your dad's brows furrowed, "You're telling me you left her alone even when you already noticed she wasn't feeling well?" He raised his voice.

"Y-yes. She said I could go." You tried to reason. 

"That doesn't matter, Y/N! That was very irresponsible of you. What would've happened if it was worse, huh? Gosh, you only think of yourself." He yelled. 

"I get it, you don't like her but seriously, this bad?!" 

Some people were already looking at you. "Dad, please not here. People are staring." You whispered. 

"Do I look like I care? How could you do that, Y/N?" He grabbed you by the arm. 

Your eyes turned glassy, blurred by the tears. You were angry but also sad at the fact that he somehow twisted it to be your fault. 

"You wanna lecture me about being selfish? What about you? You went out to play golf with your friends! You're barely home, to begin with, and when you are you don’t care about us, About me!" You yelled back.

"Don't you ever think about how I feel, huh? You came home on my birthday, suddenly announcing you were getting married again and you didn't even ask if I was okay with that!" 

"I don't even feel like I'm at home anymore. I wish grandma was still alive so I could've lived with her instead of being stuck the both of you." You pulled your arm away. "At least, she actually loved me. You could've at least pretended like you actually cared and not just use me to brag to your friends." 

"Y/N…" he sounded hurt, maybe a bit regretful but you didn't care.

"No, don't. Just leave me alone. That's what you're good at, right?" You hissed as you ran out of the ER. 

You got onto your motorbike, starting it with tears streaming down your face. 

"I can't go home." You muttered. 

You stopped by a building and called Jaemin. 

The number you're trying to reach is currently busy. Please try again.

You pressed Renjun’s number this time and it was the same. 

Whose place could you stay at for now?

Then suddenly, the very person you knew you needed the most popped up on your mind. 

You pressed his number, silently praying he'd pick up. 

"Miss me already?" He answered in a playful manner. You let out a sigh of relief. 

"Kun?" Your voice broke a bit. 

Kun shifted from his seat. "Y/N… what's wrong?" He asked, noticing the sound of sniffling.

"I… can I come over?" She asked. 

"Of course, where are you? I'll come to get you." He stood up.

"N-no, it's okay. I'll be there in a few minutes. I need to get some stuff anyway."

She hung up and Kun immediately ran to the guest room. Hendery and Xiaojun who were up were curious about the noise and checked on Kun.

"Everything okay here?" Hendery asked. 

"Y/N's staying over." Was all Kun said as he replaced the bed sheets and pillowcases. 

"Wait what? Is that allowed?" Xiaojun asked.

Kun stopped whatever he was doing and thought about it. 

"No… it isn't but she sounded like she needs help and I hope you guys are okay with that." 

"Oh dude, of course, we are. I'm just worried that it would affect both of you, y' know since she's your student." Xiaojun explained himself. 

Kun had forgotten that Y/N was his student. They were both so comfortable with each other, they just sought like close friends. 

"Thanks, Xiaojun." He smiled. "And we just have to pray nobody finds out."

Xiaojun and Hendery helped Kun tidy the room up when Sicheng suddenly walked in.

"What's going on?" He asked, clearly confused.

"Y/N is coming." Hendery simply answered as he pulled the bed sheet to straighten it.

Sicheng turned to Kun. "This late?" He crossed his hands over his chest. 

"Yeah, seemed pretty serious." He replied.

Sicheng smirked again, "I see, I see. No funny business, now Kun." Sicheng turned around as he walked out.

Wait for what? He paused.

"How did you - oh fuck." He plopped on the bed. Was he that obvious?

Xiaojun cocked his head and turned to Kun, who was really questioning everything.

"No…" Xiaojun covered his mouth. "NO FUCKING WAY!" he said. 

"Can you quiet down?" Kun smacked his shoulder. 

"THIS MAKES ME WORRY EVEN MORE." he pointed at Kun. 

Hendery who was still confused finally caught on. "OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE HER DON'T YOU?" Hendery screamed. "Why didn't you tell us?" He asked as he giggled. 

"Because I knew you'd react that way." He sighed as he rubbed his face.

"Whatever, we'll talk about this another time. She'll be here anytime now and-" they froze as the doorbell went off. 

Kun pushed Hendery out of the way and ran down the stairs. 

He quickly opened the door and his heart dropped. 

Y/N's was clearly red and puffy from crying, she had some makeup smudged and she looked like she could barely talk.

Kun pulled her into the house, giving her a tight hug. 

This was the second hug they shared in one day. The first one was quick and barely meant anything but this one, was warmth and worry.

"C'mon." He tried to pull away but Y/N pulled him back and wrapped her hands around his waist.

"Wait… a bit longer please." She whispered. Kun sighed and hugged her even tighter. 

He placed his chin on the top of her head while she rested her cheek on his warm chest. 

She finally pulled away and looked up. "Thank you." Was all she said. 

He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Anything for you." He smiled. 

Both of them walked up to the guest room and Kun let her settle in.

Kun walked into his bedroom, sitting on his bed before finally lying down.

So many thoughts were going through his head but he had to wait for her to open up when she was comfortable enough.

You heard the soft chatter and bustle downstairs and you thought it was best to get up and freshen up a bit.

You looked into the mirror and hissed at your appearance. Your eyes had gotten red and puffy from all that crying. You didn’t even bother washing your face before passing out.

Kun had prepared quite a big breakfast since it was the weekend. Yukhei walked in, still in a robe as he yawned.

“There’s so much food!” he said excitedly. Sicheng drank his tea, “We had a late-night guest and Kun wants her to feel very welcomed.” Sicheng opened the newspapers and crossed his legs.

Kun came behind Sicheng and smacked the back of his head, “Quit it, yeah?” he said with clenched teeth.

“Can’t help it, Kun. It's the first time you’ve ever liked a girl. The best part is that all of us know her.” Hendery defended Sicheng as he grabbed a piece of toast.

“Woah, Woah, Kun likes someone? And we’ve met her? And she’s here?” Yukhei questioned. Hendery nodded and Sicheng smirked.

Kun groaned, “Seriously guys? Stop it, it’s never gonna happen.” he waved his spatula in the air.

“Who is it?” Yukhei whined.

“How are you so sure it will never happen?” Sicheng countered.

“Because she doesn’t feel the same? And it’s wrong in many ways like firstly, I’m her lecturer and two, she probably has a soulmate.”

“Who is it??” Yukhei kept asking, jumping around in his seat.

“How is it wrong if it’s true love?” Hendery replied.

“Because it would be true love if it went both ways. She doesn’t like me like that, now drop. It.” Kun said seriously.

“FOR FUCK SAKE WHO IS THIS GIRL?” Yukhei finally stood up and yelled.

“What’s going on?” they heard a small voice. Yukhei turned around and froze. 

He slowly turned to Kun, shock evident in his face. He began stuttering and pointing at Y/N.

Before he could say anything Xiaojun swiftly covered his mouth and pulled him to the kitchen. Kun smiled awkwardly, “Uhm, I’ll go get the rest of the food.” He scratched the back of his neck before running into the kitchen.

Upon Kun’s arrival, Yukhei began to freak out.

“KUN, WHAT THE FUCK?” Lucas nearly screamed before the two other shushed him.

“I know but it’s complicated, okay?” Kun replied back.

“No, I meant WHAT THE FUCK WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER?” he repeatedly smacked Kun on the back.

“How come they got to know before I did?” he asked, slightly offended. 

“Wh..what?? You’re mad because of that?” his shoulders drooped. Yukhei nodded, “Yeah man. I always had a feeling that there was something going on between the two of you. Like, have you seen the way both of you interact?”

Kun sighed as he leaned against the counter, “I thought you were disappointed in me.” Kun confessed.

“Why would I be disappointed? I mean, I’m lowkey worried if you get fired but you’re both grown adults, you’re only four years older than her. Plus, what if she was your soulmate?” Yukhei questions.

Kun looked taken aback. If Y/n was his soulmate, he was pretty sure they would’ve realised by now. 

“Don’t give me hope,” Kun muttered.

“No, seriously think about it. What if Y/N do like you too but you can’t see it? Stop putting yourself down like that.” Yukhei walked up to Kun and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Thanks, Yukhei but I highly doubt it. Now, c’mon before they get curious.” he walked out.

Y/N bit into the slice of buttered toast and hummed at the warm and melted butter.

“You okay, kiddo?” Sicheng rested his arms on the table.

You shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to go back home for a bit.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Just stay here until you feel ready to go back.”

“Thank you, Sicheng.” you smiled warmly.

Kun finally walked out and this was the most casual you’ve ever seen him. He wore a white sweater paired with black sweats. 

“Morning.” he greeted. You smiled, “Morning, Kun.” he took the seat next to yours.

“So, what do you guys usually do on the weekends?” you asked.

Hendery shrugged, “we usually hang out and do our own thing. Sometimes, we go out together.” you nodded, chewing slowly on your toast.

“We weren’t planning on doing much this weekend though. So it might get a bit boring.” Yukhei mentioned.

“It’s alright. I’ll probably play with Bella and Louis if I’m bored.” you smiled. 

“You can call Jaemin and Renjun if you like,” Sicheng added.

“Oh no, they’ve gone to Jaemin’s hometown for the weekend. Jaemin wanted to introduce his soulmate to his parents,” you said. “Renjun followed for support.” 

The men all awed, “That’s really nice. Tell him we wish him good luck.” Hendery exclaimed.

You began talking with everyone comfortably, smiling and laughing once in a while.

Kun smiled at how perfectly you fit into this situation. Having breakfast with him and his best friends, chatting about, quite sleepily.

And it made him wonder, would life be this great if Y/N stayed in it?

Y/N turned to Kun who was adding his inputs once in a while, chuckling along to whatever joke Yukhei had made.  Smiling and shaking his head once in a while with his messy hair and black slippers.

Her mind began to drift into thinking of how nice her life would be if Kun was in it. Not just until graduation but for much, much longer. 

You liked him and you were too scared to admit it because you were scared of rejection and being pushed away once someone better comes along in his life.

It was your second week there and you were adamant on paying rent but the boys didn’t allow it. Instead, you pay in the form of doing chores. The boys had stopped you several times but they gave up after realising there was nothing stopping you. You and Kun also continued with practice but you still faced the same problem.

 You were currently studying at the dining table when Kun walked downstairs.

“Hey, what are you studying?” he sat next to you.

“Music history and therapy.” you sighed as you looked at him. At this point, both of you were comfortable to the point of cuddling on the sofa while watching movies or him letting you borrow his hoodies.

And to be honest, you don’t want things to change. 

“Do you need help?” he asked. You shook your head, “I’m good. Also, Kun can we continue practising later?” you asked.

He hummed, “If you mean tonight, then sure.” he stood up.

You looked at him in confusion, “I actually wanted to practice after studying.” you suggested.

“Ah, no can do, Y/N. we’re all going out.” he grinned.

“Oh, where are we going?” you asked. You got up. He wiggled his eyebrows, “You’ll see~ Just wear something casual.” he walked back up.

“So, nobody is telling me where we’re going?” you asked. Kun shook his head, “Nope! It’s a surprise.” he grinned as he drove.

Yukhei and Ten sat behind, laughing among themselves.

“Do you realise something?” you asked. He hummed, “What?”

“Study week is a week from now,” you said. 

He turned to you and nodded, “What about it?”

“It means, I’m gonna be graduating soon,” you added. 

“Aren’t you happy about that though?” he smiled. You shrugged and faced the window.

“I don’t know really. I mean, besides studying, I had a great time.” Kun snorted at your previous comment.

“I have two amazing best friends, my classmates weren’t problematic and I have a pretty cool teacher who cares about me alot.”

Kun grinned smugly, “Ah, who is this ‘pretty cool teacher, eh Y/N?” he turned to you.

You thought about it, “Madam Lim, without a doubt.” you joked.

Kun’s face dropped and he began to pout, “Ah, I see. Well, I guess your rant the other day doesn’t mean much to you anymore, huh?” he replied.

You gasped, “Oh no, I’m still mad about her calling me out like that.” you smirked. He rolled his eyes causing both of you to laugh.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you said. Kun’s face soften,

“You can always visit, y’ know? I’m pretty sure you’re an honorary roommate now.”

“Mhm, that’s true,” Yukhei said. 

“Definitely.” Ten added.

“Thanks, guys.” you turned behind. 

“It’s not gonna be the same y’ know?” you sighed. “I see you almost every day. Even when I don’t have class, I’ll always bump into you.” 

He sighed and smiled, “I know, Y/N. I’m gonna miss you and your large appetite.” he took one hand off the steering wheel to pat your head. You giggled, “I like head pats.” 

He raised a brow, “You do? Well, I should pat your head more often.” he smiled.

You giggled and shook your head.

You thought about your life after uni. You’ll have to find a job, hopefully, move somewhere.

But the worst of all, you won’t get to see Kun as much as you’d like to. Your heart hurt at the thought. He’s been there for you ever since he came to teach and you couldn't imagine life without him in it.

“We’re here!” Ten points. To your right, you saw bright and colourful lights and your eyes widened. You grabbed his arm, “Are we… at the lantern festival?”

He nodded proudly, “I remembered you told me your grandmother used to bring you but he stopped. I thought it would be nice to bring you.” he chuckled.

“KUN!” you whined cutely, “That’s so sweet. I can’t believe you remembered.” he couldn’t see it but you were blushing like crazy.

Kun rolled up his black sweater sleeves, turned and placed a hand behind your headrest to park. 

With the beautiful lights reflecting onto his face, he looked like he jumped out of a romantic drama.

You felt incredibly small when he did that and the only thing going through your head was,

Oh my god, that’s so hot

Ten and Yukhei cheered as they ran out of the car. Kun turned back and unbuckled his seatbelt.

He turned to you and waved his hand in front of your face, “Y/N? We’re here.” he said.

“Huh?” you snapped out of your trance, “Oh, we’re here.” you looked around.

He chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, we are.” Kun opened his door and walked over to yours. He opened the door and held his hand out. You grabbed it and got out.

The other boys waited for both of you.

Sicheng and Yukhei nudged each other, giggling. Kun narrowed his eyes, signalling for them to stop.

“Hey, what’s so funny?” you asked innocently. Sicheng shook his head, “Nothing, Yukhei just pointed at something funny.” Sicheng answered calmly.

Yangyang and Ten were jumping out of excitement, they were already running around and looked around in awe, amazed at the colourful lights.

You walked side by side with Kun, reminiscing the times you walked around with your grandmother. 

“I remembered having so much fun and grandma had to chase me around because I would run off without her realising,” you mentioned.

“Ah, your poor grandmother’s kneecaps.” he hissed. You lightly bumped into him, “She was a strong old lady. She’d wack, my dad if she had to.” you chuckled.

“Do you remember the song I played on the first day of class?” you asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, it was from The Corpse Bride right?” he asked

“Yeah, well that was my favourite movie when I was a kid. My grandma taught me that song.” you reminisced.

“Could you believe that was the first-ever song I learnt? She was tough but loving. I basically started playing with songs from movies.” 

“But nowadays, I can’t watch that movie without crying. I miss her alot,” you said.

“She would be very proud of you, Y/N.” 

“I hope she is.” 

You admired the beautiful lights and lanterns. Families and couples were enjoying themselves. Kids were all running around, even Yangyang and Ten.

Kun kept looking at her, “Y/N, do you plan on going back home?” he asked, a bit more serious than usual.

You eyed him, “Planning on kicking me out, sir?” you asked. 

“No, I like having you around but… why did you leave, exactly?” 

Y/N hasn’t opened up about what had happened and he thought it was best to finally ask. 

“Hmm, how about I tell you later when we’re practising?” you sighed, “I’d like to enjoy this.”

“Of course, whenever is fine.” Kun smiled and they continued walking around.

The boys were all pushing and playing around, you and Kun just watched from behind.

“This is really nice.” you breathed in. 

“Yeah, it is.”

“Kun, they’re lighting lanterns!” Yangyang called.

“Shall we?” he pointed. You nodded enthusiastically, grabbing his hand and running to the area.

“C’mon, write a wish!” Hendery pointed at the lanterns. 

You and Kun paid for your lanterns and began writing. 

Everyone began hanging your lanterns on the wall, alongside the hundreds of other lanterns.

“What did you wish for?” he asked. You shook your head, "It won't come true if I tell you, dummy." You teased.

You looked around and sighed, "Sure is beautiful, isn't it?" You smiled softly.

"Yeah, it is." 

As your eyes were on the colourful lanterns, his were on you, the entire time. 

"Okay, we'll do one round and we'll continue another time, okay?" You offered. 

"Sounds good. I'm pretty sleepy, not gonna lie." He yawned. 

Both of you sat closely, breathing in and beginning in sync.

Still no changes. You shrugged, "It's okay. We still have more time." You smiled.

He sighed, quite disappointingly. 

You nudged him, "I think it's time to tell you about what happened with my parents." 

"Well, before the potluck, my stepmom mentioned her having a headache but she told me I could, y' know to go for the potluck anyways. Well, she fainted due to low blood pressure and my dad decided it would be better if he blamed it on me."

Kun's eyebrows furrowed, clearly irritated.

"All I want is to be loved. Yes, I have Jaemin and Renjun but I don't know what familial love is and it sucks because I want to know what it feels like to have a loving family but I don't know what family is…" a tear fell from your face.

Kun immediately pulled you in for a hug, stroking your hair gently. 

"Hey... hey. I'm here, I'm here." He whispered.

"My dad was never there for me and my mom passed away before anything happened in my life. I just… I feel so lonely." You said. "Maybe I was destined to be alone forever." 

Kun pulled you so you were facing him. He stroked your cheek with his thumb, "Listen to me, you're not alone. You have amazing friends who are willing to do anything for you. And I hope… someone special will come into your life and show you what love and family truly is." He ended. 

"Kun, I don't even think I have a soulmate." You coughed. 

"What? No, Y/N everyone does. You just need to be patient." He kissed the top of your head lightly. 

You sobbed even harder, "I don't even have a soulmate mark, Kun." You admitted. 

Kun's heart dropped, he thought he was the only one who couldn't find his mark. 

He breathed in and faced you again, "Y/N, did you know that yellow is the rarest colour for soulmates to achieve?" He asked. 

You looked up, "What?" 

He nodded and hugged you tighter than before. He placed his chin on your head and rubbed your back.

"It is stated that soulmates who get the colour yellow are said to be so perfect, it's impossible to ever separate them because they have achieved true happiness, together with each other. With normal people, you could easily bump into your soulmate on the street and have no idea who they are but with this special group are blessed to have already known their soulmate." He rocked you back and forth. 

He looked down and saw that her eyes had shut, sleeping soundly. 

He chuckled, "And I wish, you'll meet your soulmate with the colour yellow." 

Your exams were going to be for a week, and you were a nervous wreck. 

You called Jaemin and Renjun, initially to study but you guys ended up talking. 

“Wait, so your soulmate is Jaemin’s childhood neighbour?” you giggled.

“Yeah! We both got red.” 

“Red? What were you arguing about?” you asked.

“You won’t believe it, they were fighting over peaches.” jaemin sighed. 

“In my defence, she took the ripest one just as I was going to pick it.” 

“Only you, Renjun. Only you.” you chuckled.

Jaemin went quiet for a while, his brows furrowing as he looked at you.

"Y/N, where are you?" Jaemin asked. "We've been calling since a few weeks ago and I know for a fact that’s, not your room." 

You suck in a breath, "I never mentioned it huh?" You asked nervously.

"Mentioned what, exactly?" Renjun asked. "Bubs, where are you?" He asked, a bit more worried. 

"Well, I'm obviously not home because I, uh had a fight with my dad and I'm actually at… kunzhouseh." You mumble at the end. 

"What?" Jaemin asked.

"I'm… at kunshouse." You mumbled again.

"Speak louder, woman!" Renjun yelled. 

"I’M STAYING AT KUN'S HOUSE!" you finally said. 

"WHAT?!" they both said in unison. 

"Well, you guys weren't home and well, he was the only person I could think of." You said softly. 

"How long have you been staying there?" Jaemin asked.

"...I think we're about to reach a month." You replied. 

The two of them looked at you and began screaming.

"AND WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL US THIS?" 

"YOU'VE BEEN FULFILLING OUR SHIP AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL US?"

"Guys, calm down!" You panicked.

"HUSH, TELL US EVERYTHING. RIGHT NOW." 

You were going to explain your situation when you heard a knock. 

"Come in!" You said. 

Kun peeked through the door, "Hey, it's dinner time." He said, walking towards your bed. 

"Oh my god, is that Professor Qian?" Jaemin asked. 

Kun popped up into the screen and waved, "Hey guys." He greeted them. 

The two of them were trying their best not to scream and waved back. 

"I'll see you downstairs, yeah?" He tapped your shoulder. 

"Will do." You replied meekly. 

At the sound of the door shutting the two of them began fanboying ridiculously, "I can't believe it, it's actually happening." Renjun panted. 

"Whatever, I'll talk to you guys later." You pressed the hang-up button and went down for dinner. 

You were washing the plates when you felt someone poke your side. "Shouldn't you be studying?" Kun asked. "Let me do the dishes." He said. 

"No, no. You already prepared dinner. It's the least I could do." You said. 

"We'll do it together, okay?" He bumped your hip to the side. 

"I'll soap, you rinse?" He suggested. You hum and continued washing it quietly. 

You suddenly chuckled at a thought.

"What is it?" He asked. 

You shook your head, giggling "It's nothing." 

“C’mon, tell me.” he bumped his hip with yours.

“I was just thinking of when we started getting close,” you told him.

“Miss Y/L/N, I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing any of your lecturers would like to see.” he stared at the girl who was lying down on the floor of the studio. Y/N jumped at the sudden voice.

“Sorry, sir. I was just listening to a song I wanted to play.” you sat up and pulled your earphones off.

“What song is it?” Kun asked, walking to his desk and putting on his glasses.

“Just some song from a movie.” you packed your satchel and looped it around your body.

He rolled his eyes, “Miss Y/L/N, I would’ve expected a classic from you. It’s a better practice than some… meaningless soundtrack.” he pushed his glasses to sit on the bridge of his nose comfortably.

“Really?” you smirked, slightly taken aback.

“Of course. You’re smart enough to know that you should master the classics first.” 

You walked to his table and cocked your head to the side, “I think you’re wrong.” you stated confidently.

“Pardon?” he furrowed his brows and took off his glasses.

“Music is so broad and different, it’s not fair that we only pay attention to one type of genre.”

You replied.

“I’m merely teaching you what my teachers thought me.” he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Okay, sir. New lesson, what’s the meaning behind this song?” you jogged to the piano and began playing Fur Elise. 

Kun was surprised to hear you play it so professionally. 

“So?” you asked.

“Well, it means you don’t need that much practice anymore,” he remarked.

You gave him a look and he raised his hands in defence.

“The song was thought to be written for Therese, a woman that Beethoven wanted to marry in 1810, however, his handwriting was misspelt undergoing transcription, allowing the piece to be known as Fur Elise rather the Fur Therese,” he said cooly.

“Okay, so that’s what you learned right?” you asked.

“Where are you going with this, Miss Y/L/N?” he rubbed his face.

“Now, what’s a movie you watched recently?” you asked.

He thought about it, “How to train your dragon, the second one to be exact.” 

You scrunched your eyebrows, “Wow, I didn’t think you liked watching cartoons.” you said.

“My housemates wanted to watch it,” he answered.

“Ah, well perfect actually.” 

You began playing For the Dancing and Dreaming, the song Stoik and Valka sang together. 

You played the song with two hands, making it sound sweeter than ever.

“That’s the song Stoik sang to Valka. Their wedding song,” he said. 

You nodded, “Yes, and what did you remember about this song?” you asked.

“That he promised to love her for eternity.” he finally said. “I really have no idea what you’re doing.”

“Professor, don’t you realise something? Fur Elise was about a man who wrote a song about a girl, who was his student. She declined his proposal and didn’t end up marrying her.” 

“But For the Dancing and Dreaming was about a couple who promised their loyalty and love even after they part. Stoic never stopped loving Valka till the end. Both songs had deep meanings behind them and they both had a similar theme. Love. ” 

“So, yes maybe classics is what you were thought but why keep it there? What’s so wrong about starting fresh and learning something different? To say that soundtracks are meaningless is quite wrong, the songs usually reflect the stories of the characters.” you smiled at the end.

Kun was speechless, all his life he never delved into playing songs besides the ones he was thought or songs from ages ago. He looked at the student across from him, how did she manage to open his eyes so quickly.

“For a second-year student, you’re very wise,” he admitted.

You shrugged, “I just never understood why we had to keep it the same for so long. Change isn’t always bad, y’ know.” 

 The following week, Kun was handing out different sheet music to the students.

Everyone’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, he had given a piece from Beauty and The Beast.

“How about we change things up a bit, huh?” he smiled at everyone, his eyes especially focusing on you.

“I’m guessing the talk we had stuck with you, huh?” you walked to his desk after class. He arranged some papers, “Yeah, it did. I guess I wanted my lecturers to do the same but they were to old school to change anything. I’m glad you opened my eyes, Miss Y/L/N.” he bowed his head slightly.

“No problem, Mr Qian. and also, you can call me Y/N. I don’t particularly like my last name.” you admitted.

He nodded and raised his hand, “Well, thanks for the talk, Y/N.” your name rolling off his tongue smoothly.

You grinned, “No problem Mr Qian Kun.” his eyes widened,

“How do you know my first name?” the corner of his mouth raised.

“I heard the Dean call you that. Nice name by the way.” you complimented.

“Can I call you Kun?” you asked. He looked quite surprised at your question.

“I… I guess?” he stuttered.

“Great, well nice talking to you Kun!” you turned around.

“Only outside of class!” he commented. You nodded and waved at him from the back.

“You still never listen to me, huh?” he stated.

“What do you mean?” you laughed. He elbowed you gently, “I meant by you always sit with your feet on the table and you call me Kun in class anyways.” he said.

You chuckled, “Yes, I’m guilty.” you confessed. Both of you shared a moment of laughter.

“It’s only with you, though.” you smiled as you rinsed the cup he passed to you.

He soaped the last spoon and handed to you, “What do you mean by that?” he asked, with a raised brow and a curious smile.

“I only sit around like that when it’s only your class and I only call you by your first name.” you took the spoon from him.

“Really? Wow, I should’ve been stricter with you.” he teased. You shook your head and rolled your eyes playfully, “No, I didn’t mean that you weren’t serious enough. I meant…”

“I like you, Kun.” 

Kun’s playful manner vanished and he was now facing you, “What?”

“Not as a friend or a teacher. I like you, like alot for a while now.”

Kun’s heart was beating faster than he could ever imagine. She likes him too? 

“And I know you might reject me but-” before you could continue, Kun gave you a quick peck on the lip.

You were so shocked about what happened, you instantly froze. Kun pulled back and scratched the back of his neck, “Me too, Y/N. Me too.” he admitted.

You giggled and smiled, you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him again, a bit longer this time. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” you whispered. Kun smiled and wrapped an arm around your waist while the other hand, held the back of your neck

It felt so natural to be in his arms, to be this close and it felt so perfect.

The next morning, you woke up and got out of bed. As you walked out of the room, you bumped into him. 

He looked down and smiled, "Morning, lovely.” he greeted as he pushed a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Mm, good morning.” you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting on his chest.

“How did you sleep?” he asked, placing his hands on your shoulders. 

“Like a baby.” you scrunch your nose. He chuckled when you heard a cough behind you.

“Well, I guess we can say that it’s finally official. We’ll see you downstairs.” Yukhei said, pulling along a speechless Yangyang and Ten.

You blushed as Kun wrapped his arms around your head, hiding you from his roommates.

You walked to class excitedly. Today, Kun decided to leave early so that he can drive both of you to uni without anyone catching you.

He yawned loudly, and you giggled. “I’m proud of you for coming early,” you said. He nodded sleepily, “I wanted to take a drive with you.” he smiled. 

“And I appreciate the gesture.” you gave him a kiss on the cheek.

You reached the studio and ran to the piano, “Hey, how about a short practice?” you asked.

He agreed and you pulled him to the piano. 

You began playing and sadly, still no luck. 

You nudged him, “Just ignore it, we’ll be fine.” you leaned your head on his shoulder. He smiled and gently patted your head.

Kun continued yawning and you chuckled, “I’m going to grab a coffee. Do you want one?” you asked. He nodded, “that would be lovely, thank you.” 

“Be right back!” you kissed him on the lip and ran out. 

You were thinking of how great things were and you prayed they never change. 

When you walked back to class, you heard someone else in the class.

You stood outside, not wanting to interrupt. 

“Kun, he wants you in Slovenia by the end of the month. I can’t negotiate anymore.” it was Professor Micheals. "If we postpone it, you'll lose this." 

“Agus, please. Just by graduation. I promised my students I’ll see them graduate.” he begged.

“Kun, You agreed to resign this job so you could have your own concerts. This is the one time you’re ever getting an offer like this and you’re pushing it away?” he raised his voice.

"I'm not sure I even want to do this anymore." He admitted. 

"You can't be fucking serious…" Professor Micheals groaned. 

"I found someone and I'm not ready to leave her. I won't do that to her." 

"Well, you better figure out if you'd rather pick love or your dreams. Time is running out, Kun. You must hurry." 

your heart dropped, and your mind was filled with different thoughts.

He’s leaving?

The class went by and Kun mentioned a few things for the exams before class ended.

Everyone thanked him before leaving class.

"Y/N!" He called.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, noticing how quiet you went after coming back. 

"Uh, yeah. I just don't feel too great." You said.

"Oh no, do you want me to send you home? It'll only take a few minutes." He grabbed your hands. 

"No, no. I'll take a cab or something. Your students are much more important." You let go and turned. 

"Oh, well if you need anything please tell me." He reminded. 

That's strange, She was fine this morning, what happened? He thought.

Kun couldn't wait to get home and snuggle with Y/N. 

He was overjoyed when he realised she shared the same feelings as him. 

But for now, he'll take it slow and give her all the love she deserved.

He unlocked the door and walked to the kitchen. To his surprise, Y/N was on her phone while eating something.

He hugged her from behind which spooked her a bit. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He kissed the top of her head. 

"It's not a problem." You smiled. Kun stayed in the same position when he noticed what Y/N was looking at.

Apartments in the area

"Why are you looking for apartments?" He asked. 

"Well, I'm going to have to move out one day. Might as well get ready soon." You replied. Kun let go of you and sat next to you. 

"But you can stay here. Especially since we're… yknow?" He pointed out. 

You turned to him, your face slightly guilty. 

"Kun… I heard what you were talking about with Mr Micheals." You admitted, avoiding eye contact. 

It all dawned on him, that's why she was so quiet. 

"Ah…" he furrowed his brows. "How much did you hear?" He asked. 

You got up and walked to the sink, "That you'll have to move to Slovenia by the end of the month." You said. 

He stood behind you, "Princess, please understand, I'm trying my best to push the date." He reasoned. 

"Kun, I do understand. Which is why I'm telling you to go." You said. 

Kun stared at you, "What? Y/N, no I'm not gonna leave you. I won't be able to come back for a long time." He said. 

"Kun, that's not fair on you! Maybe I'll be happy but what about you? What if things don't work out and you totally missed your chance at being an international musician?" You said.

"Kun, I'm not saying we have to end whatever this is just cause you're moving but if it does happen, at least I know you fulfilled your dreams." You reasoned. 

"What's the use of doing it if you're not there with me? What dream if you're not in it?" He said, his voice broke.

"Kun, are you hearing yourself? Don't risk things for me!" you raised your voice. 

"But I want to! I want to love you and show your love in so many ways. Don't talk about ending it please." He begged. 

"Kun, we both know we can't avoid that. like you said to me, you'll have someone out there, far better than me." Tears fell, covering your cheeks. 

"Why do you make it sound like you don't want to be with me?" He asked tears on the verge of falling. 

"I do! I really do and it breaks my heart knowing that you've worked so hard for this but you're giving it up for me!" 

"Then don't tell me to go, not yet." 

"Kun…" you whined. He got up, his back facing you.

"No… we're going to talk about this later. We're both frustrated and I don't want to argue." Kun finally said as he walked out of the kitchen.

You fell to the floor, hugging your knees. You didn't know what to do to get through him. 

I don't want to be the reason you won't get to fulfil your dreams. 

You finished the paper and handed it to Mr Micheals who smiled at you. 

You walked out of the class and sighed. That was your last paper of the week. You smiled, relief washing over you.

You also haven't spoken to Kun for a week. He kept pushing the idea of having a soulmate, why won't he accept that he is out there as well?

You walked out of campus when suddenly you heard your name. You turned and sucked in a breath. 

It was Lilian. "Y/N, hey." She walked towards you. 

"Oh, Lilian. Hi, uh what are you doing here?" You asked. 

Well, aint this awkward?

"I wanted to talk to you. Y'know, since you've been gone for almost two months." She stated. 

You scatch the back of your neck, "Yeah… I'm really sorry about that." 

"No, no. I wanted to ask you why it happened. I don't want to just hear your father's side of the story, that won’t be fair." She said. 

She held your hand, "Shall we?" She asked. 

You nodded and followed her. 

You were awkwardly drinking your tea when she came back to the gable with two slices of cake. 

"Here you go. Now, how are you?" She asked. 

All this time, Lilian has always paid a lot of attention to you because she actually cared. She didn't completely ignore you after marrying your dad. She made an effort to get to know you. 

"I'm…" you were going to lie but your face betrayed you. 

"I don't think I'm fine." You admitted. Her face instantly changed to a worried one. 

"Oh my dear, what happened?" 

You breathed in and told her everything that has happened. She listened to everything closely, not interrupting you at all. 

She held your hand and squeezed it gently. 

"Y/N, I'm so sorry you had to go through that." She apologised. "You didn't deserve that and your father was being very unfair." She said. 

The shock was evident on your face, "Wait… you're not going to side with him?" You asked.

She shook her head, "Your father may be my soulmate but that doesn't mean I have to side with him for everything." She sipped on her coffee. 

Your eyes widened and you choked on your tea. "Wh-what? You're dad's soulmate?" 

She placed the cup down, "Honey, I thought you knew? That's why we got married so quickly." She passed a tissue to you. 

You shook your head, "I'm not close enough with him to tell me anything." You played with the sleeves of your sweater. 

You sat down quietly, it made so much more sense now. All this time, you thought she married him for his money. 

But you also realised that your mom wasn't his soulmate.

"So, my mom…?" Lilian knew where you were heading and she shook your head. 

"I should've let your father tell you this but since I'm not sure when you’re going to see him again." 

"As much as your father adored your mother, she wasn't his soulmate. Your mother's father helped your father with his business and in return, he asked for him to marry his daughter." 

You breathed out, head spinning a bit. All this time, you thought your mother and father were so deeply in love but in actual fact, they weren't. 

And your mother died too early in her life to meet her actual soulmate. 

"What's it like? To have a soulmate?" You asked her. 

She thought about it and smiled, "Well, you feel… complete. You'll realise that you'll bring the best out of each other and only want to support them and their dreams." At the sound of that, your face fell. 

Kun wasn't your soulmate and you didn't understand why he was so against leaving you for his dreams. He has a soulmate waiting for him somewhere and he was ready to risk everything… for you. 

No, you couldn't let this happen. You had to leave the house, you had to leave him.

You reached home quickly after meeting Lilian. So far, everyone wasn't back from work yet and you thought that it was the best time to pack up. 

Thankfully, you didn't bring alot of things with you so packing was a breeze. 

Once everything was in your backpack, you looked over at the empty room that you stayed in. It was a simple room but you found so much joy and love staying in this house. 

You suddenly heard a bit of noise downstairs. You froze, scared that it was Kun. You walked out to see Sicheng walking up the stairs.

He hadn't realised your presence so when he saw you he jumped a bit. 

"Oh, it's just you." He smiled. But his face fell as soon as he noticed the empty and clean room.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" He asked wearily. You sighed and gave him a hug. 

"Don't tell Kun." You whispered. He knew what was happening. 

"Why?" He asked. You sighed, "I don't want to do this either. I love staying here with all of you but if me leaving is what it takes for him to go to Slovenia then I'll do it."

"Y/N, i don't think you realise how incredibly selfish this sounds." 

You scoff, "How? I want him to do what he wants and suddenly I'm the selfish one?" You raised your voice. 

"No Y/N, you're being selfish by leaving without even settling the topic with him." He replied. "Do you think he's going to be fine after all this happens? You're the first girl he's ever loved and how do you think he's going to feel when he realises you’re not home and that you left without even saying anything." 

You paused before continuing, "Kun… loves me?" You asked. 

"Of course he does! Have you not realised how much he cared for you? Y/N he was willing to give up everything after the two of you got together. Did you think you could hide it? All of us could see the love between the two of you." 

You massaged your temples, "Sicheng, you do realise if you stop me from leaving, Kun won't ever be able to leave for Slovenia." You said. 

"No, there are other ways you could do this. You don't have to leave him." 

"You were going to leave?" A sudden voice scared the both of you. 

There he was, eyebags forming under his eyes. 

"You were going to leave… without saying goodbye?" He walked closer to you. 

"Kun…" 

"No, I want to know why you thought that would've been a good idea?" He asked, his voice bouncing off the walls. 

"You said you wouldn't leave me so the only way for you to go was if-"

"If you left me?" He asked, his voice showing hurt. 

You nodded, too embarrassed to look at him. 

"For fuck sake." He sighed, before pulling your hand into your room and shutting the door behind him. 

"I swear, they'll be the death of me." Sicheng sighed as he walked into his room. 

"We are going to sit in here until we figure out a solution." He said. 

"Kun this isn't just because I want you to go. You have a soulmate out there and what if she was in Slovenia, huh?" You asked. 

"Y/N, I don't have a soulmate!" He yelled. "Do I look like I have a mark?.\" He yelled. 

"W-what?" You stuttered. "You don't have a mark too?" 

He sat beside you and held your hands, "Y/N, you make me so happy and I can't imagine life without you." 

"But Kun, I can't be happy knowing that you didn't go to Slovenia because of me." 

"Then I'll go. We'll do long distance, I'll do everything to make sure we're happy. Just, don't end it please." He hugged you, his head on your shoulder. 

You hugged him back, "i won't. Kun, thank you." You said. 

"Anything for you. I'm not gonna leave you, ever." 

It was the night before Kun's departure and everyone wasn’t feeling too great. 

The once lively and happy house had quiet down and had gone grey. 

"Guys, this is too depressing for a farewell party." He joked. 

"We can't help it. You leaving for a few years wasn't part of the contract of being friends." Yangyang replied. 

Everyone snickered at the young man. 

He stood up and raised his glass, "I'd like to propose a toast." He said.

"Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone for their support and love all this time. You guys mean the world to me and I wouldn't be able to go without your support." 

"Secondly, I'd like to thank Y/N for coming into my life and causing chaos in it." He teased. 

You narrowed your eyes and shook your head. 

"In all seriousness, I thought I'd never meet someone so talented, caring and well, different. I'm glad you're here." He held your hand and kissed the back of it. 

The guys all made kissy noises, Renjun and Jaemin were a sobbing mess. 

At that moment, everything felt right. Everything in life was perfect. 

He laid down beside you, both of just looking at each other.

“Who knew this would happen,” you whispered.

“I guess fate was kind to us and led us to each other.” he kissed your nose.

You snuggled closer, your face pressed against his chest.

“I don’t want things to change,” you said.

“And it won’t. I promise.”

“Passport?” you asked.

“Yeap.”

“Coat?”

“In  my carry on.”

“Phone?”

“Yes, Y/N. now stop worrying.” he chuckled as he kissed the top of your head.

‘I’ll call you whenever I’m free.” he said.

“Don’t worry, make sure you settle in properly then you call me,” you said.

Kun turned to his friends and gave them all big hugs. “I’m gonna miss you guys.” 

“We’ll miss you too,” Sicheng said.

“Kun, can you get me chocolates when you go to Belgium?” Ten asked. Everyone laughed, shaking their heads.

He gave you one last hug before walking away.

You turned around when you heard running behind you and when you turned around, Kun pulled you by the waist and gave you a kiss. 

The boys all turned away to give you two a little privacy.

He kissed you on your forehead, “I’m gonna miss you, Y/N.” he said.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” you said.

He had walked over to check-in, waving at you all before leaving.

You had your arm looped around Xiaojun and Yangyang when you saw a familiar face.

If you didn't look properly, you wouldn't have been able to recognize him.

“Y/N?”

“Hi, dad.” 

The cafe was quiet and small, you sat across from your father awkwardly.

“So, you're going for another trip?” you asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be in Japan for some business.” he stated.

“What about you? What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I was sending off a friend,” you replied.

“Is Lilian at home?” you asked. He shook his head, “She’s staying at her sister’s house for a while.”

“Ah, I see.” you nod. 

“Y/N?” he called. 

“Yes?” 

“I’m sorry… for everything.” he bowed his head.

“What?” you wouldn't believe what you were hearing. Your father has never apologised for anything before. Seeing him so vulnerable and sad was so foreign, you didn’t know how to react.

“I wasn't there for you when you needed a dad. I never realised how selfish i was. I thought marrying Lilian was a good idea because you would finally have a mother and you would be happy. I never thought it would create an even bigger gap between us. I’m really sorry i never thought of how you felt.” 

“I used to not understand why you always wanted to go to grandmas but then I realised it was because of me. I never became a good father,” he said.

You remained silent, you had no idea what to say or do. You walked over to his side and gave him a short hug.

“Thank you. Thank you for that,” you whispered. He hugged you back, a bit tighter.

“I’ll do my best to be a better father.” 

After meeting dad, you got a text from Kun.

Just boarded! I’ll text you when I arrive :)

You smiled and quickly typed, 

Have a safe flight! Make sure to get some rest, I’ll talk to you soon.

You took a cab to Renjun and Jaemin’s house. They wanted to celebrate finishing exams and they even brought along their soulmates for you to meet.

The door opened and you were greeted by Minseo.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” she said excitedly, “it’s so nice to finally meet you, in person!” she laughed.

You giggled and waved, “Is everyone here?” you asked, she nodded, “Yeah, we were waiting for you.” 

At the sound of your voice, Jaemin came running out of the kitchen.

“Hey, bubs!” he gave you a hug. “Did you just come back from the airport?” he asked. 

You nodded, “yeah, Kun’s plane just took off.” you informed.

“Who would’ve known the both of you would get together? Oh yeah, us!” Renjun rested his arm on Jaemin’s shoulder.

“Ha-ha, very funny,” you replied sarcastically. 

“But I’m happy and it seems like alot of things are good in life right now,” you answered. 

It’s been a few weeks since Kun left and he hasn’t had enough time to call you. With the time difference especially, you couldn’t find the right time to talk to him.

Even his messages were getting shorter and shorter. You sat at the piano in his room and played the song you were going to play with him.

You weren't sure if he was going to even attend graduation and you took the initiative to learn the song as a solo piece.

Sicheng walked in and saw you practising, “Hey, kiddo.” he sat beside you.

“Hi, Sicheng.” you smiled weakly.

“Still no calls?” he asked. You shook your head, “He’s probably really busy. That’s why i’m learning how to play this song alone.” you pointed.

He nods, “That’s good. Well, we’re going to start dinner soon. So, come down when you’re done.”

“Okay, see you later.” you waved.

It was two nights before graduation and it was pretty obvious he wasn’t coming back. He hasn’t even answered any of your messages.

You were slowly losing hope as you laid in your bed, thinking of him.

“Y/N! Can you come down for a sec?” Yukhei called. You begrudgingly went down. You heard chatter before a bunch of shushing.

“What is it?” you rubbed your eyes. 

The boys all grinned excitedly, “Well, y’ know how you told us you were going to just wear something you already owned for the dinner?” Xiaojun asked.

“Yes?” you eyed them. “Well, guess whose boyfriend just sent us this?” Hendery pulled a big white box from behind him.

“Wh-what? Kun sent this?” you pointed at the box. All of them nodded excitedly, “Straight from Paris!” Ten remarked.

You smiled happily, knowing that he still does think about you.

You took the box and opened the box slowly.

You let out a loud gasp, you pulled the gorgeous blue dress by its straps.

It was a beautiful flowy gown with a plunging neckline. 

Attached to the dress was a note, 

You can’t play Merry Go Round of Life without dressing like Sophie, my dear. It's a bit more modern but I hope you love it, Y/N. I'll return soon, I promise. 

You sighed dreamily, smiling like an idiot.

“Well, go on and try it!” Ten pushed you to the stairs. 

You ran up excitedly and quickly wore the dress. You gasped and awed at its beauty.

The glitter in the dress shined so beautifully and it fits you perfectly. You're surprised Kun knew your size so well. You looked at yourself and squealed.

“Y/N, come down here!” Sicheng called. 

You walked out of your room and posed dramatically at the top of the stairs.

“OHHH, LOOK AT HER!” They all praised and hyped you up. You did another pose and screamed.

“It’s beautiful!” you jumped. The boys all gave you a group hug, squealing and jumping together.

“Just dye your hair grey and we’ll be done!” Yangyang said as he showed the box of silver hair dye he bought.

Everyone paused and turned to you, “Wait what?” you asked.“When did he even buy that?” Xiaojun whispered to Yukhei. Yukhei shrugged and walked up to Yangyang, he pushed the box of dye slowly.

“Why don’t we bring her to the salon? Seriously, I don’t trust us to do that,” he said.

“I mean, I think it’s a good idea. It would be nice to change things up a bit.” you sat in between Xiaojun and Sicheng.

“Actually, my friend Darcie used to work at a salon. I could ask her to come over?” Ten suggested.

“That’s actually not a bad idea. Yeah, we’ll go buy the other stuff that she needs and we’ll just do it here,” you said.

“Sounds good! I’ll go call her.” Ten got up and went to make the phone call.

You sighed, “I can’t believe I’m graduating in two days.” you said. “I wish he was here though,” you admitted.

Sicheng wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “There, there. We’ll be there to cheer you on.” he smiled. “Jaemin bought the tickets for us the other day.”

“Thank you, guys.” 

“Good news! Darcie’s coming and she has all the equipment at her house. She’ll be coming in an hour.” he declared openly 

The guys all waited in the living room, waiting for you and Darcie to finish. 

They all instantly got up when they heard the toilet door open. 

“Let me introduce to you, the new Y/N!” Darcie announced.

You walked out of the toilet shyly, smiling nervously.

Darcie had done an amazing job, instead of dying your whole head silver, she added silver highlights instead.

The boys gasped, covering their mouths.

“YOU LOOK STUNNING!” Yukhei lifted you up and twirled you around. 

“Darcie, you really outdid yourself.” Ten fist-bumped Darcie.

“Let’s take a picture!” Xiaojun took out his Polaroid camera.  He set up the camera on the table and all of you posed. 

You looked at the picture and smiled fondly, everything was going great in life.

On the day of graduation, you sat at your vanity, curling your hair. Jaemin and Renjun walked in along with Minseo and with Ae Cha, Renjun’s soulmate.

“Hey, Y/N we’re he- OH MY GOD!” Jaemin screamed. “Your hair!” Renjun pushed Jaemin out of the way and gasped.

“Yeah, I wanted to change it a bit.” you chuckled nervously. Minseo came running and she squealed, “YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!” She praised.

“Thank you! You look amazing, Minseo.” you hugged her. 

Behind Renjun, you saw another figure. You walked towards her, “You must be Ae Cha! I’m Y/N.” you extended your hand and smile warmly. 

She shyly shook your hand, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

All of you spoke for a while when suddenly you heard a knock on the door.

“Y/N, we should be heading out,” Sicheng said. Sicheng wore a navy suit with silver detailing.

“Don’t you look handsome!” you praised. He blushed, “I tried.” he said bashfully. 

You sat in the car with Sicheng, Yukhei and Ten who wore their best suits. Ten wore a grey suit while yukhei wore a maroon suit with a floral shirt underneath.

“Are your parents coming?” Yukhei asked. You shook your head, “Dad’s trip got extended and Lilian had to take care of her mom. They did call me earlier though, it was nice.” you told them.

When you reached the ballroom of the university, you were amazed at how they managed to decorate it that well. Everyone definitely wore their best dresses and suits.

You found the table you were all sitting in, you sat down in between Xiaojun and Hendery.

You were just about to have a conversation with Xiaojun when your classmate tapped your shoulder.

“Y/N, you're the first performance after the speech. They need you backstage,” she informed you.

Your face fell, everyone at the table began cheering you on. You kind of received stares but you followed your classmate nervously.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the dinner will soon begin. Please take your seats.” the emcee announced.

The dean of the university was giving his speech and you were looking over your notes. 

“Without further delay, I’d like to invite our talented pianist, Miss Y/N.” 

You walked onto the stage, where the grand piano stood. 

“Miss Y/N will be playing Merry Go Round of Life,” they announced. 

“Alongside, rising musician and ex lecturer, Professor Qian!” at the sound of that, your eyes widen and you turn to the other side of the stage.

There he was, you never knew he could be any more handsome. He wore a white shirt and tucked it into a pair of black dress pants. Just like Howl.

He stood beside you, grabbing your hand and pulling you for a bow.

“Kun…” you said, not paying attention to the audience.

“Your hair, it’s just like starlight,” he whispered. “It’s beautiful.” he quoted Howl from the movie.

You couldn't believe he was here, both of you sat down on the bench and breathed in.

“Ready, love?” he asked.

“Now that you're here, I am.” you winked. 

You breathed in and began playing.

And just like that, it was as if nobody else was in the room. Both pianists worked together in harmony and the entire ballroom was in awe of the beautiful chemistry between them.

You eyed him and smiled, which he too smiled widely. You continued and for the first time in weeks, you got it.

You played it like the first time. Everything was there, the sweet, the smooth tune and the gentle way it radiated around the room.

Once the music stopped, the room was quiet before the roaring applause began.

Both of you stood up and bowed, holding one another's hands. Your friends were whistling and cheering loudly.

You giggled and faced Kun but your heart stopped. 

He was happy that he made it in time to play with her but when he turned he wasn't expecting to see,

 Yellow. True happiness. 

Both of you stood frozen, his eyes were yellow and so were yours.

Your soulmate mark… was your eyes. That’s why you couldn’t find it.

You ran backstage, pulling Kun with you.

“I love you,” you said before slamming your lips onto his. Kun pushed you gently against the wall, kissing you much more eagerly.

Thankfully, everyone was on the other side of the backstage so you took your time. He pulled you close, hugging your waist while you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

You kissed him so close that your whole body curved into his.

You pulled away, both of you panting at the kiss. Your eyes were close for a few moments before you opened them, you placed a hand on his cheek.

“I knew you were meant for me.” he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “And i love you too.” he gave you one more peck.

You rested your foreheads against each other, still in each other's arms, happy as ever. 

You walked out, hand in hand. Some gave you strange looks but you didn’t care. He was your soulmate and that’s all that matters.

Your classmates were all staring at you, whispering among each other. You caught them whispering so you decided to give Kun a kiss on the cheek.

Everyone’s stopped what they were doing before screaming and squealing. You giggle and pulled him to the table.

“Ah, making it public I see?” Hendery asked. 

Both of you looked at each other and smiled.

“Wait… oh my god.” Sicheng realised the look on your faces. Everyone reacted similarly.

“Everyone, this is Kun. My soulmate.” and with that, there were tears of joy, praises and plenty of hugs.

You took a walk at uni one last time, you told everyone you wanted some time to reminisce about your last time there.

You walked into the studio and smiled at the familiar setting. The piano at one corner and the many desks scattered everywhere.

You sat at the piano and thought of all the long practices you had with Kun, those moments that made you closer and closer. 

You decided to play one last song, For The Dancing and Dreaming. The song that made you friends in the first place.

You chuckled when you heard the door open.

“I knew you'd be here.” the honey-like voice said. You felt him hug you from the back, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Just enjoying my last time here,” you said, holding onto his hand.

“I know. I’m gonna miss this place too. So many great memories here.” he sighed.

You turned and faced him, kissing him once more. “Shall we go back?” you asked sweetly.

He nodded, “Yes please, I’m still very jet lagged.” both of you laughed.

When you got up from the bench, you stumbled slightly, a sudden pain shot up from your spine.

You suddenly saw you and Renjun in the studio. Why does that look familiar?

You held onto his hand while you pressed a hand against your head.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, he held your face in his hands.

“Y-yeah. I’m just feeling a bit dizzy. Let’s go home, yeah?” you smiled. 

He nodded and both of you walked out hand in hand.

The drive was quiet, Y/N had fallen fast asleep and Kun was smiling the entire way. 

You stretched, opening your eyes. 

"Hey, feeling better?" He asked. 

You nod, "A bit better."

You could only hear the sound of the air conditioner and the music. 

"Kun?" You called. 

"Yes, love?" He answered.

"Are you going to go back?" You asked.

He sighed, "I was actually gonna avoid this topic but no, I don't want to. Especially after finding out that you're my soulmate. I never wanna leave you." He held your hand and kissed the back of it. 

"B-but…"

"No buts Y/N. I'm staying. I'll continue being a lecturer." He said. 

"Kun, be honest, did you enjoy yourself when you were touring?" You asked. 

"Well yeah but I enjoy teaching as well so your point is invalid." He replied. 

"Kun, I can follow you. I'll travel with you if that means you'll continue." You pleaded. 

"I can't believe we're arguing about this again." His hand tightened on the steering wheel. 

"We don't have to! Kun, I don't mind following you. We'll still be together!" You said, voice a bit louder than before. 

"Yeah and leave your friends? I can't do that to you." He was getting irritated, you could see his knuckles turning white. 

"So what? You did it too!" You pointed out. 

"That's different." He muttered.

"How? In what way is it different?" You almost yelled. 

"It's because I can handle being alone!" He finally yelled back.

"Goddamnit Y/N, I can't go through what happened the other day. If you follow me, you'll only have me. If you stay at home you have the boys, your friends and family." 

"Kun, I can always make new friends!"

"Enough! I don't want to he-" 

Suddenly, a loud honk was heard and Kun swerved to the side. The last thing you heard was him calling your name and screaming. A weird buzz began tickling your body and suddenly, everything went black.

"Y/N?" You heard a muffled voice. You opened your eyes but it was still black.

"Kun? Kun! Why can't I see?!" You yelled. 

"Woah, Woah bubs. You're okay." You heard Jaemin's voice. 

"Nana, Where's Kun? Is he okay?" You tried to get off the bed but you fell.

"Y/N!" Renjun yelled, picking you up. 

"I can't see, Nana, Injunnie what's going on? Where's Kun?!" 

"Baby, who are you talking about?" 

It's been a year since you lost your eyesight. You sat in your bed and cried. You lost your soulmate as quick as he came.

"Is she okay?" Lilian asked her husband. He shook her head, "She's been crying every night. I don't know what to do. The doctors still don't know how she lost her eyesight. Renjun said she just fainted." He drank his coffee. 

"Sweetie, what about we bring her for a concert? A pianist is coming to town. I think she would enjoy it very much." Lilian suggested. 

"That would be nice. Let's go ask her." Both of your parents knocked on your door. 

"Sweetie, can we talk?" Your father shook your body slowly. 

You wiped your nose, "sure." They helped you sit up.

"Y/N, how would you like to go to a concert? A famous pianist is in town and I think you'll enjoy it very much." Lilian suggested.

You sighed, "What's the use. It's not like I can properly enjoy it." You complained. They both gave you a hug, Lilian rubbing your back gently.

"Baby, you haven't gone out in ages. Jaemin and Renjun miss you alot." Lilian said. 

"Please? I think you'll love it." Your dad asked once more. 

You groaned, "Sure. Why not?" You agreed. 

Renjun and Jaemin immediately gave you a hug. You missed seeing their faces so much and just seeing things.

Every minute you're awake, all you can see was Kun's beautiful brown eyes. 

"C'mon, it's starting." Your father ushered you in. 

The moment the song played, your heart broke. 

The pianist was playing Merry Go Round of Life. 

"Mom, can you please bring me to the toilet?" You pat her hand. 

"Of course sweetie." She said.

Once you entered the toilet, you began crying your heart out. You miss his touch, his kisses, his kindness and his stubborn habit of not following what he wants. You cried realising that your last time with him was wasted on a useless fight.

You cried and sobbed when you felt a hand touch your face. 

You gasped, "Lilian?" 

"No, dear. It's me." That voice… Cyan!

"Cyan? Is that you?" 

"Yes, Y/N. I’m sorry everything turned out so badly." 

"Cyan, please I need to see him." You begged. 

"I know, love. Which is why I'm telling you this." 

"Once you go to that world, all memory of you will disappear in this one and all the lost memories of you will return to those in the other world." 

"The choice is yours." 

You stood up and breathed out.

"Anything for him." 

She chuckled, "Good. Now, be good when you reach that world." She snapped her fingers and suddenly you fell to the ground, the cold tiles coming in contact with your skin.

When you woke up, the white light blurred your vision but you could see again. You looked at yourself in the mirror and you slowly touched your face. 

You began tearing up when you heard the applause from outside. 

You ran out of the toilet and searched around. You began running around when you bumped into a hard chest.

"Woah, you okay?" Jaemin asked. He looked at you closely, "Y/N, are you okay?" You knew that both Jaemins was the same but you couldn't help but hug him. Once you saw Renjun as well, you ran and gave him a hug. 

"What happened?" He asked. Jaemin came towards you and shrugged. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the man of the night." You heard someone announce. 

When you turned around you saw him.

The love of your life. But he looked so different, instead of his once lively features, he looked tired and emotionless. 

"QIAN KUN!" you yelled. 

No… that can't be her

"KUN!" 

"Y/N?" He looked around when his eyes landed on you. 

He stood frozen, not believing that you were there. You ran to him and immediately looped your arms around him.

"Where have you been, my love?" He hugged you back, sobbing as he asked. 

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Both of you sank to the floor not letting go of one another. You cried together, forehead pressed against each other. 

You pressed your lips to him, holding his head in your hands. Tears streaming both of your faces, both not ever wanting to let go, ever. 

You woke up, stretching your body. You turned and saw Kun sleeping soundly. His bare chest rose and fell, his breathing steady. 

You turned to the balcony of your hotel room. You tied your robe and walked out, inhaling the cold air of Vienna. 

You watched the figures walking around and you smiled. 

A pair of strong hands wrapped around your waist. "Baby, come back to bed." He kissed the nape of your neck. 

"Good morning, Kun." You greeted sweetly. 

"Good morning, baby." He rested his chin on your shoulder, shutting his eyes.

"You'll have to get up soon, Kun. We have a performance at 3." He groaned.

"Don't remind me." He sighed. 

You chuckled and turned around, wrapping your hands around him.

"Y'know I love you right?" You asked. 

He kissed your forehead, "Of course. I love you too." 

"And I promise to never leave you, ever." You said. "I'll be here with you until we're old and wrinkly."

He chuckled and kissed your lips, "I like that." He said. 

You smiled and rested your head on his chest. 

"I love you."

"And I love you."

As they stood there in each other’s arms, they had not realised that both their wishes from the festival had come true.

Hers was to not be alone and to be loved.

And he was to find his soulmate and love her forever. 

[fairycosmos]

chloe what do you do when you feel really suicidal? but like not like before- but NOW that you are grieving such a painful loss? dont need to answer but i read your a. to the anon that felt trapped and like they couldnt leave now bc their sibling died too and like you and that anon i feel the same. im so so suicidal chloe. i cry every day and night and i feel despertate but my parents just lost their child so. how do you cope... as much as its possible. what do we do? fuck.

dude i am so sorry you're in the same position as me and you are going to hate me for saying it but there is no satisfactory answer 😔 it's a cruel joke. we're in the worst pain we've ever been in, and our instinct is to want to make that stop. but we can't because now we're obligated to stay alive, where all the hurt is, because we're one of the only ones left. and we dont want to cause more of this feeling by ending it all. it's like a contract you didn't agree to and are now trapped in for the foreseeable. grief is the absolute heaviest thing a person can carry, it's a fucking nightmare. it doesn't make any sense, it doesn't have a cure and it's disorienting as fuck. it's ok to be exhausted by it. reality has been irreparably  worsened and it's an absolute tragedy,  it's completely unfair. personally i'm more suicidal than i've ever been, but like you, i know i'm not going to do anything.  and in moments of great pain, where i want to act on those thoughts, i find myself coming back to that fact. i watch the idea of suicide run its course through my head and then i acknowledge the reality of things, that i can't leave. that it doesn't matter how sad i am and how tired i am, because i'm still here, and processing these emotions is a part of that. the urge to kill myself is there, but the actual act of suicide has never been less of an option than it is right now. so i can feel whatever i need to feel, but there's no point leaning into it or daydreaming about it. because it's not going to happen. sometimes i'm screaming and crying to myself in absolute agony while this is all going on, and sometimes i'm just sitting staring at my phone, numb. the desperation is very real, and i understand that. but it is not as urgent as it feels in the moment. no matter how many times i think i'm at my limit, i know that there's going to be tomorrow. and at the moment that sounds like a really bad thing. but i know that by waking up my parents aren't getting a call saying i'm dead, which for now is kind of the whole point. i am living to minimize their trauma, i am living for them, and an optimist would have hope that that could keep me alive long enough until i get to the point where i can eventually live for myself again. i could definitely see that for your future, even if you can't. the thing is you don't have to know what to do and you dont have to look for ways to fill the void that has been left behind by your sibling. you just have to learn to exist alongside it, and i do mean just exist. as awful as it is. waking up, putting one foot in front of the other, crying and crying and crying. that is good enough. i know it doesn't feel like much of a life, but. it's the short term answer, or so it seems to me. another thing i remind myself of is how it all comes in waves. waves are the nature of both grief, and strong suicidal urges. maybe they're always running in the background, but the moments of pure despair where you feel like you're bursting at the seams, they're so strong and harsh that they flare out faster than you realize. and they feel unbearable, and i know those moments are very frequent when you're in our position, but it's good to remember that the intensity of their nature makes them temporary.  especially if the grief is fresh, every little thing triggers an avalanche of hopelessness.  but some part of me believes these experiences will either a. become less persistent with time or b. become a part of us we learn how to navigate.  at the moment, the simple act of being completely broken by these episodes means you're surviving them. i think it's not a matter of knowing how to cope, but knowing that if you're here to ask these questions - what do i do, how do i go on, etc - then that is proof you have been coping. and it probably doesn't feel like you have been. i think there's a common misconception that coping is thriving, letting go, having positive memories. and sure that's a part of it. but there is a lot of darkness and absolute horror to work through before that. additionally,  there is no rule book on how exactly to work through it. theres just time, experience, learning what works for you and hanging on. i'm trying to hold my own hand through it, i'm trying to look at the present moment i'm in and just think about what i need at that very second.  not what i'm going to do tomorrow, not what i should've done yesterday, but what i have to do right now to make it through.  a lot of the time the answer is nothing, and i just sit and stare or cry, because like i said, ultimately nothing can fix it. theres no epiphany that can change what happened. 

as far as practical things you can to do combat suicidal thoughts goes, i have a few suggestions that i really hope you consider as viable choices: talk to your doctor/therapist - idk where you live or what your financial situation is like, but if it's at all an option i would really urge you to seek professional help. at least let your GP know what you're dealing with so maybe they can refer you to a therapist, or give you some mental health resources. grief counselling is also a step in the right direction. having someone to talk to and implementing positive coping mechanisms into your day to day life, even if it's the last thing on earth you want to do, can work wonders. understanding your own suicidal thoughts, why you react the way you do and what you can do about it, can really come in handy when you're breaking down. it's ok to reach out. it's ok to visit different counsellors until you find one that fits you. it's ok to treat your emotional turmoil as seriously as you'd treat any physical disease. there is always support and treatment options available in some form, and it is always worth looking into.

call a (grief or suicide) hotline - i've had the hotline number open in my browser for days. if you are in a moment of crisis, it can absolutely help to have someone talk you through your emotions, listen to your pain, and then give you some gentle recommendations as to what you should do next or where to go from here. you don't have to tell them your name, you don't have to say anything you don't want to say. you're in control of the call and they care about keeping you going. you're not alone. theres also online grief support groups - i'm in a sibling loss group on fb.  it's absolutely crazy how many people are in this position. 

talk to your parents/family/friends - i know saying 'this is a tough one' is a giant understatement.  idk if it's the same for you, but i've been isolating to cope and i don't want to tell anyone what i'm thinking because they're already having such a hard time grieving my sister. but if there's anyone you trust, i just want you to know it's alright to lean on them. it's up to you how much you open up, but the urge to keep to yourself leads nowhere. those around you can relate (to an extent) with your grief, and sharing it, talking about memories and crying together - it's fucking awful, god it's the worst thing ever, but it's necessary. and i don't want to say it helps, but a shared burden is always better than trying to shoulder it alone. you deserve to be listened to and supported. and if you think you're being an inconvenience to your loved ones, that's your inner self hatred talking. they would likely rather be there for you when you need it, than have you harm yourself because you kept it all pent up. it's a lot easier said than done, but it's important to keep in mind that it's an option.

try to create a safe space - try to remove things from your living space you could use to harm yourself with, and make the environment as comforting as possible. refer back to safe coping mechanisms/ distractions that have worked in the past - this can be as simple as going for a walk, watching stupid shit on your phone, meditation, having a crying session, writing to your sibling or just about how you feel in general. these are not suggestions that will solve anything or cure mental illness by any stretch of the imagination.  they just get you out of your head. that can really make a difference. 

create a crisis plan and learn what triggers you - this is a bit of a process but that's alright. being able to identify what sets you off, and being able to recognize your own toxic thinking patterns/behaviours, is the first step towards combatting them. another idea is, if you do end up talking to a loved one or a mental health professional, come up with a plan with them regarding what they should do when you're suicidal and your judgement is impaired. you can even start by just making one for yourself, like writing down a few suggestions as to what you should do when you're in a crisis, what your other options besides suicide are. 

i think that's all i've got right now. i'm sorry this got so long, especially when i know nothing truly helps. i just know what it's like having all this useless life in front of you that you're going to have to fight through without the one person who always should've been there. i keep thinking about what she'd say to me if she could see me, and i know she'd be livid if i threw my life away, but. that doesn't change the fact that she didn't get to live hers, and that i miss her so so much it aches. i keep coming back to the idea that our relationship will continue to grow beyond  death. i can still talk to her, reminisce  with her, understand her, love her. so much of this reality was shaped by her. it's not the same as when she was here, but it's not total absence  either.  anyway, i'm so so sorry for your loss and i hope you can just focus on taking care of yourself, love. because your life still has so much worth and you deserve to see your own future even if you cant stand the thought. moments of happiness and peace are still 100% possible. it's just never going to feel like it did before. and it's ok if you spend the rest of your life struggling to come to terms with that fact, because at least you got to live the rest of your life. i'm sending so much love to you and i'll be here if you need a friend. one day at a time.

*no pressure to read all this you can just refer back to it whenever you feel the need

[parkertech]

Can you do a Peter x reader, where y/n is blind her whole life and comes into school, meeting Parker and such? And so she had good senses and when she becomes friends with Parker and gang, Parker often leaves, making an excuse which means he gotta be Spider-Man and so like, she knows he’s lying and eventually confronts him? Maybe also he’s secretly working by himself or w/ Tony to create glasses for her to see and it’s gets emotionally sweet and omggg please and thank you. You don’t have to!

Peter thought his day would be it’s regular schedule. Boring teachers, boring lectures, maybe squeeze in an annoying group project. His day was normally boring, until the period before lunch.

“Class, today we have a new student!” The teacher announced enthusiastically. Peter’s head shot up from resting on the desk, and his eyes immediately landed on you. One look was all it took for him to lose his breath. He found himself looking up and down, and heard his heart beating in his ears. You were absolutely gorgeous to him.

Since he was suddenly so observant, he found you tilting slightly away from all the students. The teacher cleared her throat before turning you so you were face to face with all the desks. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but nonetheless didn’t say anything.

“I expect all of you to be respectful and treat her like you would what to be treated. Would you like to tell the class something about yourself?” The teacher asked you. You cleared throat, suddenly being put on the spot even more than before.

“Um...hi. My name’s Y/N...and...I’m blind?” You didn’t really know what else to say. The teacher cleared her throat at your bluntness, while Peter’s face lit up in realization. No one wonder you weren’t facing the class perfectly. You were blind.

For some reason, Peter found that absolutely adorable. Call him weird, he didn’t really care. What he did care about was your impression of him.

The teacher guided you to the back of the class, and to a seat right next to Peter. He felt his heartbeat speed up more and pushed his hands together. When the teacher finished helping you, he tried to ignore his reactions and focus on the board.

“Why’s your heart beating so fast?” You whispered to him. He jumped up slightly and turned to you, is eyebrows furrowed.

“W-What...?” He stuttered.

“I can hear your heartbeat. Why is it beating so fast?” Peter was getting more and more confused by the second, but also intrigued.

“Um, n-no it’s not. How can you even hear my heartbeat?” Be whispered back.

“Even though I’m blind, my other senses are raised to like, 100. You gonna answer my question?” You had heightened senses like him. Except you probably born that way, and not bitten by a radioactive spider in a laboratory on a field trip.

“Just nervous for...a possible project presentation.” Peter blurted. It’s the first thing that came to mind, and he didn’t properly think about how stupid the excuse sounded.

“Ah, okay. Well calm down dude, it’s not a jail sentence.” You patted his shoulder twice, which made him suck in a breath. All of sudden his shoulder where you touched it was on fire, and his hands were getting sweaty. He didn’t know how you made him feel like this, but he wasn’t exactly complianing either.

“You know, you can sit with me and my friends at lunch...” he trailed off. You tapped your foot a few times, before turning to him and smiling. He didn’t expect you to look him dead in the eyes, and it made him swallow a lump in his throat.

“I’d like that. Thanks....?”

“Peter! Parker Peter— I-I mean Peter Parker, that’s me. Yeah.” He blurted awkwardly. It made you giggle a bit, and he chuckled embarrassed. Even your laugh was cute. God, why was everything about you cute?

“Okay then, Parker Peter, I’m sitting with you today.” He nodded awkwardly with a tight lipped smile before sighing in relief. A few minutes later, the bell rung, and Peter practically jumped out of his seat, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. He ran out the door, and waited on the side for you to come out.

When you reached the doorway, you looked let and right, trying to sense Peter. You felt someone’s hand brush yours, and you flinched. He immediately retracted his hand and put it in his pocket.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to-” You relaxed when you heard the thick Queens accent speak, and sighed in relief.

“It’s fine, I’ve just never felt your hand before, so I thought you were a stranger.” Peter let out an ‘oh’, before chuckling in relief. “Why are you trying to hold my hand again?”

“U-Uh, well, I thought since you’re blind and everything, to make sure you don’t bump into anyone, I-I could hold your hand...” He mumbled shyly. You smiled a little before holding out your hand.

“Yeah, okay.” His eyes lit up, and he slowly intertwined your fingers together. Peter started walking, and you followed a step behind him.

You didn’t really have a problem running into people, but the second Peter’s hand touched yours, you didn’t want him to move. His hand felt warm, and comforting. It gave you a slight tingle in the bottom of your stomach, and it made your senses go haywire.

Peter announced that you were in the cafeteria, but you could tell by how loud the chatter got. He directed you to the table where Betty, Ned, and MJ were sitting, and sat down next to you.

“Peter finally has a girlfriend?!” Betty exclaimed. She noticed your hands, and came to conclusions.

“W-What?! No, no no no, this isn’t my girlfriend...” Sadly, he thought to himself. “She’s new. Everyone, Y/N.”

“And who are these ‘everyone’ people, Peter?”

“Oh, yeah. Ned’s my bestfriend, theres MJ, short for Michelle, and then Betty, who you heard earlier.” Betty held her hand out, but got confused when you didn’t shake it back. Her hand was in your peripheral view, but she didn’t know your big trait. “Oh, uh Betty...she’s blind.”

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry-” Betty started apologizing.

“No worries, I don’t even know what’s happening.” MJ smirked a little.

“I already like her.” You smiled at her, using your hearing to pinpoint her location. From that day on, you and got along with all of Peter’s friends. After all the questions (Ned had way more than anyone else), you spent everyday with all of them. That was until Peter always said he had to leave for some Stark Internship. His heart always beat super fast when he said that, which you learned is a key factor in lying. It always made you confused, until one specific walk home.

Some random burglar pulled you into an alleyway, and asked you for your money. He rummaged through your backpack, and instead of finding money, he found a special card you had, that mentioned you were blind. You always had it just in case, but never really used it. The burglar was going to use this to his benefit, until he heard a thwip and was pinned to the wall by webbing. You knew this was that superhero Peter talked about non-stop, Spider-Man.

“Ma’am, are you alright?” His voice sounded way too familiar, and you felt his hand touch yours, and that warm feeling you got with Peter came back. Thanks to your heightened senses, you could immediately tell this was him. But you wanted more proof.

“Y-yeah, I think so...” You made sure to face away from him, because if this wasn’t Peter, he wouldn’t know. Spider-Man gently grabbed you by the shoulders and turned you to face him.

“Right, you’re blind, do you mind if I swing you home?” Spider-Man asked you politely.

Yep, that’s definitely Peter.

“How did you know I was blind?” You ask him. Peter’s suit eyes were almost completely wide, realizing he slipped up.

“U-Uh, your c-card...” he looked down at the piece of paper on the floor that was now covered in sewer water, and used that as his excuse.

But he wasn’t reminded about your heightened senses. He was too nervous to. His heat beat was going fucking haywire, giving you your answer and confirming your suspicions.

“Oh, that makes sense.” You played it off cooly. “Yeah, you can take home.” Peter didn’t trust his own voice to slip up again, so he guided you into his side, and swung you to your house after asking for your address. Like he didn’t already know.

The next day, you practically sprinted into school. You had proof and wanted to confrot Peter about his alter ego. For some weird reason. You could easily keep it to yourself, but you felt that if you told him you knew, you could help him.

Being so infatuated with Peter, you learned that his footsteps had a slight lag to them. So when you heard said footsteps next to you, you practically sprinted to your right. You smashed against the locker next to Peter, making him jump.

“Shit, Y/N! Are you okay?!” Yes, that hurt. But you shoved it down.

“Yeah, can you take us to a nearby storage closet? I gotta tell you something.” Peter looked around, and found one a few lockers down.

“Yeah, come on.” He grabbed your hand gently, and navigated you through the halls of students. Once you were both in the closet, he locked the door and you turned to him.

“I know you’re Spider-Man.” You blurted. Peter’s eyes went wide, and he froze in place.

“W-What? I am not Spider-Man, who’s Spider-Man?” Peter wanted to play dumb, but not that dumb. He grimaced in embarrassment, and you folded your arms with confidence.

“Peter, when you lie, your heartbeat speeds up. It is right now. It sped up when you told me how you knew I was blind. Also, you have the same voice.” Peter was going to lie again, but he realized there was no way out. He groaned and hesitated before speaking again.

“Okay...fine. Yes, I’m Spider-Man, but you can’t tell anyone.” You scoffed and shook your head.

“Please, that’s too low. I would never.” Your mind went back to all the times he said he had to leave, and your head clicked again. “Wait, is being Spider-Man your supposed Stark Internship?”

“Yeah...Mr.Stark made my suit, so...” You modded with an ‘ah’ before standing there awkwardly. “Speaking of Mr. Stark...I kind of asked him to do something...for you...”

“For me?” You asked. You were immediately confused, and heard what sounded like a glasses case being opened and shut.

“Yeah...I asked him to make you glasses...so that you could see. Your medical records said that you’re blind because your vision is blurred. So the glasses are meant to make your cataract focus and make a clear picture.” He held out your hand, and you felt a cool metal being placed in your hands. “We’ve been working on it for months...and I didn’t know when to give them to you...”

Peter did this for you? All of this? Your heart swelled at how selfless he was being, and it made your stomach get filled with butterflies. You knew you had a crush on Peter, but him doing this might have made you fall harder.

“Can you put them on me...?” You asked softly. If this was truly going to work, your life was going to change forever. Peter unfolded the glasses and held it by the hinges, gently sliding the temples over your ears.

Instead of your vision being cloudy, everything was clearer than day. Based on how your mouth dropped and your eyes watered, Peter could tell his invention worked. He smiled at your shocked reaction, biting his lip.

“Well...?”

“Y-you’re really cute...” You blurted. It was the first thing that came to mind the second your eyes met his brown ones. Peter’s cheeks immediately turned red and he cleared his throat.

“T-Thanks...y-you’re cute too...” Your lips slowly curved into a small smile, before your hands cupped both of Peter’s cheeks. You started into his eyes in disbelief, and Peter didn’t know what to do but stare back. In a flash, he saw your face move close, and felt your soft lips on his. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, and looked at you with wide eyes.

Holy shit, you’re kissing him!

He eventually got a grip, and closed his eyes, kissing you back. He felt you smile into the kiss, which made him reciprocate it. Much to his dismay, you pulled away. He was going to complain, until you rested your forehead against his, your smile still on your face.

“Thank you...” you whispered softly.

“You’re welcome...” he whispered back. You looked down to grab his hand when you heard the bell ring. Peter took the hint, and wrapped his fingers with yours, unlocking the closet door, and walking with you to the hallway. Both of you had a stupid smile on your faces, but none of you cared.

You would’ve still had a crush Peter if you didn’t know what he looked like forever, and Peter knew that now. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do anything for you.

At least now you could see the faces of your friends when you told them the news.

[leotssukinaga]

Oikawa and Mattsun Fluff HCS

Anon requested:  hiii! can i request fluffy hcs for the seijoh third years? (if all 4 of them is too much u can pick the ones u wanna do) A/N: seijoh’s third years do be hitting different tho. we all know I'm soft for iwa but I chose not to include him n makki for no reason other than I've been up for 23 hours and I didn't have the energy to write more than 2 ppl rn >_< i’ll probably write those two when I wake up tho (also: pls forgive any mistakes im sleep deprived ill proof read this again when im awake and fluent in english again) (also also: lmk if u wanna read the love letter mattsun got bc i did actually write it and if theres interest ill post it kdjsd)

Oikawa:

you'd think Tōru would expect confessions by now, right? and yea he does but NOT FROM HIS FUCKIN CRUSH

he doesn't know what to do and you've never seen him lose his composure like this

you expected him to give you some cheery apology and send you on your way not take 89 days to respond and refuse to make eye contact

so when he FINALLY gets out that he likes you, too, and he never expected that you'd like him back you're over the moon.

well, your first reaction is that he better not be fucking with you

but he assures you that iwa would likely kill him for playing a prank like that

*fraggle voice* whoopee!! you have a Boyfriend now

this boy is soft for u and u only

honestly? he'd probably stop flirting w the fangirls unless u told him not to

bc he loves you and he never wants to make you feel insecure

if you told him not to stop he'd still keep it to a minimum

a playful wink here and there but in conversation? not so much

"So oikawa, a new coffee shop opened in town and I was thi-"

"Really? I'll have to take Y/N there this weekend. Thanks for telling me!"

If he was worried abt how they'd treat you, he probably wouldn't drop your name. He'd still talk about you though, he'd just call you "my s/o" and so on so forth

for the first few months of ur relationship at least you guys keep it on the down low

not that he wants to!! boy is clingy he wants to be holding your hand 24/7 but he cares about you and he knows his fans would eat you for breakfast if they knew

and he wants to spend as much time dating you without people getting in the way as he can

so for the first few months only iwa knows

but if you can hold your own against them then after a while he'll be bolder and more open abt being w u and eventually, everyone will know

and if you'd rather keep it quiet still, he respects that. hell blow your phone tf up tho if he can't be with you physically he's gonna text u non stop

you wake up every day not to a good morning text but to 6 or 7 YouTube links to videos about aliens

and you're just like "morning babe. wanna tell me what time you went to sleep last night?" and he will avoid that question like the plague

he's terrible. you love him

depending on your tolerance, you probably join forces w iwa

bc you love Tōru!! he is however annoying as fuck sometimes and iwa is good at helping you deal w him when he's being Oikawa

but God, you wouldn't change him for the world

you're lucky to have him, and you tell him that every day

Mattsun:

mattsun was a little surprised when you confessed to him, actually

he'd known you for a little while, though not too well

well enough to develop a Historic crush on you, though

when you started showing up to practice games he assumed you were there for oikawa

sad boymattsun hours initiated

iwa gets the brunt of people talking to him just to get close to oikawa but mattsun and makki experience it somewhat too and he thinks that's what ur friendship is

so when you corner him after a practice game with red cheeks and an envelope he assumes it's for oikawa

but you thrust it into his hands and beg him not to read it until he gets home and apologise for your handwriting (which he's seriously gonna ask you about because you have lovely writing??? please write him letters.)

and he's like? is it really for me??

AND IT FUCKIN IS

and it's long and rambly and all over the place because that's you

and he wants to frame it and put it on his bedside table.

you wrote him a love letter.

you called him an asshole in it.

he really, really wants to kiss you

he writes you a letter in return.

you borderline cry reading it and immediately text him (letter writing takes too damn long)

new quest: dating mattsun

quest objectives: find mattsun. go on a date with mattsun. kiss mattsun (eventually)

(no I can't stop with the game references)

by God are you guys cute

mattsun is an amazing bf

suuuper good listener and really good at telling when somethings wrong

and he gives the warmest hugs

you want mattsuns arms around you 24/7

when you've had a bad day and you meet up w him after practice and he hugs you it's like everything melts away

he’ll whisper to you while you hug

telling you how much you mean to him and kissing just underneath your ear

speaking of kissing his kisses are just *chefs kiss*

your first kiss wouldn't have been out of place in a romance movie (more on that later)

but honestly, every kiss from him feels like there should be some big swell of music that matches the way it makes your heart swell

he's soft with it, cupping your face gently, making eye contact as he leans in

deep kisses that last for minutes, but they're never forceful, there's no fire behind them (unless you want there to be... but these are sfw so)

he just. wants to be close to you, wants to show you how much he adores you

he'll pull back barely an inch, whispering something sweet, pecking your lips at least 3 more times before he pulls away completely

always leave you wanting more 😔

back to romance movies: you have so many romcom moments w this boy

they're not planned or anything he's just Like That

will 100% drop the umbrella and pull you into the street to dance in the rain

and pick you up if you need him to, even if you're fighting

doesn't seem like he'd be too big on pda but honestly?

mattsun fuckin worships the ground you walk on

so if you want pda you get it

mattsun: i dont like pda

mattsun the second he sees you: i have to kiss them right now immediately or I'll DIE

this boy reveres you

love him!!! I am begging u

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 4

Ugh Mondays. They suck for everyone, and today was no different for me. I of course, had a super weird weekend. I’m so confused. Did it all really happen? Was Saeyoung Choi really here? Did he really come to meet me, ME, of all people? Did he really come to my apartment and clean? I mean, my apartment was cleaner yesterday, but I could have just imagined it. But then the chats yesterday were definitely off book. No where online does it say that chat room is supposed to happen. I mean I could type messages instead of choosing pre-made options. My life has gotten weird. Too weird. I’ve already been struggling mentally, and now I might actually be going crazy. No, I know I’m going crazy. There’s no way it was real. It’s not possible. There are no other dimensions, or worlds, or realities. There’s just this one where Saeyoung does not exist. I jumped at the sound of an alarm going off, stopping my train of thoughts. I had set an alarm to make sure I leave for class on time. Crap. I haven’t even showered yet I was so caught up in everything. Maybe I’ll take a day off...yeah right I’ll get so behind. I can’t be late. Too many stares for that. I guess I won’t shower and just hope for the best. I quickly put on a change of clothes and redid my hair into another bun. I’ll wash it eventually...maybe...it’s been a bit. I skipped breakfast and practically ran out of my apartment and to campus. I missed the bus, so I had to run the entire way. Thankfully, I made it to class just before it started.

I took my seat, the one in the very back in the corner, of course, and got to work. Or so I hoped. My mind kept thinking back to the past few days. How cruel can my brain be? I feel empty and anxious all the time, it reminds me of my failures and makes me question everything. And now it’s making me believe that Saeyoung is real. I’m just so stupid. Why am I even thinking about this? People would think I’m crazy. I started to feel eyes on me, so I looked up from my ‘notes’. People were moving into groups for an activity. Crap no. I knew I should have skipped. Did we already get groups or do we have to chose? I don’t want to chose, no one will chose me so I’ll either be alone or have to awkwardly ask to be in a group. I soon realized that two people were facing me. So we were assigned thank God. I began to sweat and shake, as I normally do when having to talk with new people. We got started on the project. Thankfully, neither seemed like talkers so we all agreed on just doing a portion of the work separately. The class seemed to drag on forever. Now not only was I thinking about my weekend, but now thoughts of how awkward I must have been talking to my group mates. They probably think I’m dumb. Did I stutter to much? Could they tell I was shaking? Did I seem weird? I shouldn’t have said that. Once again, I snapped back into reality to realize that our teacher had dismissed us. I packed up my things and quickly left. Thankfully, this is the only class I have today, my other was cancelled, right? I checked my emails to find the one saying the class was cancelled for the millionth time that day. I had checked before and I knew it, so why do I have to keep checking? I was starting to feel really hungry since I had skipped breakfast, so I decided to suck it up and go order something at a nearby fast food place (A/N: I don’t know pick your fav). Anxiety started to creep in. How stupid am I to feel anxious over something so basic? I never have to see the person ever again. They don’t care about what I say or do, but I still feel a bit anxious. I got into line and made sure to breathe. Once it got to my turn I ordered. Haha, I didn’t even stutter that time. Feeling proud of myself, I got my food and began walking to the bus stop. Somehow I managed to get there right before it left, so I got onto it, thankful I wouldn’t have to walk the entire way. I sat down on a seat away from everyone else. I felt my phone vibrate, another chat room. I had been trying to think about other things that don’t involve me going crazy, but that wasn’t working. I opened it up. 

Yoosung*: so you really got there?

707: yep! I think I fixed everything so I’m going to go again later today

Yoosung*: you sure (Y/N) would like that?

707: I don’t know...

It was then that I realized they didn’t notice I’d come into the chat room. He’s coming again? It’s really real? If I see him than it must be real, right? That doesn’t mean anything, I’m sure crazy people see and hear things too...how can I be certain? Maybe a picture? Pictures will only show what’s there right? Okay, if he comes, I’ll just try to get a picture of us and I’ll know for sure. 

Yoosung*: well I got to go theres amonters on LOLOL bye

*Yoosung* has left the chat

707: all alone T_T

707: I should go surprise (Y/N) now hehe 

*707 has left the chat

(Y/N): idiots lolol I’ve been here, it won’t be a surpise <3

I smiled and turned my phone back off. The bus had finally made it to my stop so I grabbed my things and left. I made the short walk to my apartment. I got on the elevator and started walking down the hall to my apartment. I stopped midway. My jaw dropped slightly. Sitting on the floor in front of my door was Saeyoung. Picture, my brain reminded me. I began walking closer, trying not to smile. I’m still mad he just left. Wait no this still might just be a hallucination. Saeyoung looked up when he heard someone coming and smiled when he saw it was me. “Surprise!” he yelled. 

“I was in the chat Saeyoung, I knew you would come. Or at least I knew my hallucinations would continue.” He frowned. 

“But I’m real,” he whined. 

“Mm as real as every other anime character. And if you are really real then I’m mad at you,” I crossed my arms. Well, tried to, it was hard to do so with the food in my hands. 

“Well I am real and why are you mad at me?” 

“Because you left...like everyone else,” I trailed off. Saeyoung’s head dropped.

“I know. I am sorry. I really thought I had figured it out, but I think I do now, so I shouldn’t be going anywhere.” I looked up at him and squinted at him, pursing my lips to complete the look. 

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he smiled. I went ahead and unlocked my apartment and let him in. 

“You know I’m surprised you didn’t just pick the lock,” I said. 

“I would never do such a thing!” he protested. He made his way to my couch and flopped onto it. 

“If you say so. Sorry I didn’t get any extra food. Are you hungry? I can make something?” I made my way to the kitchen, setting my food down. 

“Nah I’m good.” I went ahead and decided it’d be best to eat out in my living room for two reasons. Reason one, I don’t trust Saeyoung, and reason two, it would be more rude to just sit in my kitchen and eat. I sat down next to him. I quickly remembered that I needed a picture. 

“Hey, can I get a picture with you?” I asked suddenly. He looked up at me confused, but then smirked. 

“Why? You can’t get enough of this face?” he asked and then stuck out his tongue. 

“No,” I rolled my eyes. “I want to make sure I’m not hallucinating. Pictures can only show what’s here right?” He laughed. 

“A picture wouldn’t be enough proof. Even if nothings actually there, you could just hallucinate it when looking at the picture!” 

“Oh yeah...well you did not just help your case any. How am I supposed to figure out if I’m going crazy or not,” I frowned. 

“You’re not going crazy. How many times do I have to tell you I’m really here?”

“That’s exactly what a hallucination would say!” He frowned. “I’ve been so depressed my brain is now making me think that you’re here! There has to be some way to prove that I’m right!”

“Well there is one way.” he mumbled. 

“What is it?” I asked, desperate to know the truth. He looked up at me and I almost missed the slight pink dusting his cheeks. He leaned closer and reached out for my chin again. What is he- oh... I didn’t have time to think before I realized his lips were on mine. Time sort of just stopped. I got lost in the feeling out it all. My hands moved to the back of his head, his moving to my sides. Before I noticed, Saeyoung was deepening the kiss, his tongue making its way into my mouth. It soon was getting hard to breathe, and we broke the kiss. I looked down, embarrassed. We sat in silence for a second before Saeyoung broke it. “Well, now do you believe me?” he asked. I tried to pull myself together.

“I-it was, uh, pretty convincing, but it still doesn’t really prove anything...” 

“Hmmm, does that mean I’ll have to try again?” he asked. 

“No...” I softly answered. I was conflicted now. Sure that all felt real, and I definitely wouldn’t mind another, but it truly doesn’t prove much. 

“Oh” he replied softly. I winced. He sounded hurt. I don’t mean it like that, really. 

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” I began. 

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have pushed you.” There was another moment of silence. Both of us just thinking about what had happened. 

“I have an idea.” I broke the silence. He looked up at me, ready for me to continue. “I’ll go with you and you’ll order something or buy something from somewhere. If other people can see you, then I’ll know it’s not a hallucination.” He thought for a moment. 

“Yeah, I don’t see any holes in that logic...where to?” 

“There’s a convenience store about a block from here.” We both got up and made our way outside. After a few minutes, of a silent and awkward walk, we arrived at the store. “Here we are,” I said. 

“Any requests on what to buy?” he asked. 

“Nope I’m just going to stand back and observe.” He chuckled. 

“Normally I’m the one doing the observing, but okay.” We walked inside and I watched him disappear in one of the isles. I went to go find a snack to buy. I wasn’t just going to walk in and not buy something. As I walked down the isle, my thoughts started getting to me again. I can’t believe your life has come to this. So lonely that you’re making someone up. This is why people don’t talk to you. That’s why the walk here was awkward. You don’t know how to talk to people, so you just don’t. It feels real, but it’s not. No one would kiss you. Imagining your first kiss and making it feel real is really sick. You’re sick. No one wants to be with you. No one would want to be your first anything. You should just be leftovers...a hand on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts. I didn’t notice that I was tearing up. I quickly wiped them away. “You okay?” Saeyoung asked me. I kept my head down. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” 

“You don’t have to pretend in front of me you know?” 

“Yeah because you’re not real. You wouldn’t be doing all this, you wouldn’t be this nice to me if you were real,” I answer. He let out a small sigh. 

“I don’t know who would make you think that. But I still have to prove to you that I’m here right? Watch.” I finally looked up and I watched him walk away. I watched him go up to the counter, smile, and have a small chat with the cashier before paying and coming back to me. He smiled at me. “See?” he asked. Unable to hold back any longer, I threw my arms around him in a hug. 

“You’re really here?” I asked. 

“I’m really here,” he answered. 

“You really came for me?”

“I really came just for you, (Y/N).”

“Really though?” He chuckled again.

“Really though. I came for you, and only you. I’m here and I don’t intend to go anywhere unless you want me to.” I hugged him tighter. He pretended to choke. “Ack (Y/N)! I’m not going to be here if you keep holding on so tight!” I laughed. 

“I’m just making sure it’s real.” I finally let go of him and looked at him. How is this happening? Why me? I don’t deserve this. 

“You do,” he suddenly said. 

“What?” I asked. Can he read minds?

“You do deserve this. I’m the one that didn’t deserve you. I didn’t deserve your help with Mint Eye, and I didn’t deserve your feelings. But you, (Y/N), you really do deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy. I hope to make you feel happy and loved and I don’t know if I’ll be enough, but I’m going to try.” I just smiled, unable to form any words or sentences in my mind. I don’t know how he knew what I was thinking. I didn’t know if I fully believed his words, but for now I was going to try. “Now lets head back so I can try to explain everything to you and answer any questions you have.” 

[smallfrailfairy]

TW: child abuse, domestic abuse, eating disorder, suicide

So today I binged. Yesterday I ate well and walked for about 2 hrs and burned a little over 500 cals. I am trying to figure out why I binge. What triggers me? Am I even triggered? Is it boredom? Am I upset? Or maybe I have just gotten so used to binging and being overweight that I cant imagine being healthy. Maybe I am so used to the abuse and neglect from my partner that I binge to stay overweight and then I have an excuse to blame the abuse on. I dont know.

I had the urge to binge while watching a podcast that had someone calling someone else fat and making them feel ashamed for what they ate. I immediately wanted to binge and couldnt get the extra cheesy quesadillas and oily yellow rice all smothered in full fat sour cream and topped with avocados out of my head. Just 20 min before I ate 2 small chicken thighs with healthy homemade ranch. I was not hungry. The thoughts consumed me and before I knew it I was off my bed and in the kitchen cooking everything up. I sat back down on my bed and resumed the podcast and binged 2 large extra cheesy extra saucy quesadillas, 2 cups cooked oily yellow rice, 2 scoops sour cream and an avocado. I ate it all in 10 min.

I didnt think about the food as I ate it. I barely watched the podcast while I ate it. I barely thought about anything while I ate it. I didnt even really taste it. I realized that I sort of blacked out. I went into auto pilot while cooking and eating. I didnt even get to enjoy it. It was like my spirit sat behind my physical body and watched while my physical body gorged.

When I came back into reality I was a little taken aback at what happened. I never really realized I went into auto pilot like that. I'm starting to think that I've been in auto pilot for a lot of things.

I'm really scared that I'm never going to get a grip on this binging. It's been 5 yrs now of just straight eating. I'm still so fat. The moment I see the scale go down even a few pounds away from my starting weight I binge. Why? Maybe life would be scary if I lost weight. Maybe life wouldn't get better if I lost weight and all that suffering would have been for nothing. I could just binge now and slowly eat myself to death. There's a gun in my closet and I look at it a lot. But I dont want to be fat at my funeral. I also want people to know about the domestic emotional abuse my partner is putting me through as well. I want his family and my family to know everything. My partner hides their true identity so well. Theyll do anything to continue to hide what they have done and continue to do to me.

I feel so lost. I have lost faith in God and the universe. I have no beliefs anymore. Theres no way anything exists out there that would let people suffer as much as we do. Why do I have to watch my abuser keep succeeding? If there is a God, why does my abuser keep getting your blessings? Why wont you reveal their true self? Why have you abandoned me?

I really just dont know. I'm so close to losing it.

If you've made it this far, I'm not saying any of this for well wishes, or sympathy or pity. I dont want to hear "dont worry! You'll get through it!" I dont want to "get through it" anymore. I'm tired. So many years of abuse. From family and now my partner. So many years of my life taken from me. So many people who knew of my abuse and know of it now who tell me "that's just how life is sometimes." Telling my 2 friends who were in my life 10+ years what I'm going through currently with everything. Finally opening up and get 2 "damn that sucks :/" from both friends and then them never talking to me again. That was last June. I just dont understand. I feel like I'm being singled out. Like I'm getting picked on.

Some people think we have life paths. We pick what happens to us before we get to earth in our physical bodies. I cant help thinking that my life path was supposed to end years ago and that's why it's gotten so much harder. Maybe I wasnt supposed to survive going through child abuse. I tried several times to end it but was too afraid of death. Maybe I was supposed to. Maybe my life path ended a while ago.

My family doesnt talk to me. They "didnt believe" the abuse i was put through as a child and told me to keep quiet about it. They "dont believe" me now that I'm going through abuse again and again tell me to keep quiet. They have stopped talking to me. I am terrified to tell my partners family what they're really like and my partner has been filling his family and friends heads with lies about me for years. They dont talk to me either. They think I am "shy" and "sick". I dont think they would stop my partner even if they knew anyways. I do not have any proof of this I just have a bad feeling that they wouldn't care. My 2 friends ghosted me the moment I stopped pretending to be happy and no longer speak to me.

I have no family. I have no friends. I have no support. I have no money. I have no job. I was forced into marriage with my abusive partner. I am lost. I am so lost. I am the saddest I have ever been. The child abuse I went through for 17 years was truly awful but in a way it doesnt compare to this. I dont even know what to say anymore.

I opened up to my partner about this. We dont talk. We live in separate parts of the house. I told them that I'm really worried I'm going to do something to myself if this all keeps going on. I completely broke down. I mentioned their gun still in the bedroom that I sleep in. How I look at it every night. They listened then went about their day. The gun was left were it is. They continue to abuse me.

I just dont know what to do. Thanks for letting me rant. Sorry for ending things on this rant so abruptly. I dont know what else to say. I just want out. I'm so tired.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for reading. I hope you are all doing better than me at the moment.

[toxicxxmyth]

Dating Richard Camacho headcanon

Authors Note: This all over the place lmao so bear with me. I also got a little carried away oops.

Y’all prolly met at the club or a house party tbh(like almost every other Richard fic :’)

And you were there looking bomb as ever ;)

And he was there looking fine as ever ;)

And you were just in a corner talking to a few friends when he sat beside you

At first it wasn’t a big deal bc it’s a couch..hello

But when y’all got a good look at each other’s faces under the smoke and blue laser lights

Y’all were like

:0

So that’s how you met, lol

It might’ve taken a long time for you guys to actually start dating

With him being so private and secure when it comes to relationships

And you having bad experience with relationships

You guys took it slow, yet you both considered each other as your s/o even if you guys haven’t even shared a kiss

And after, let’s say, four months, y’all started dating

Anyway

Starting now with and actual headcanon

My boy’s hands are on you 24/7

Your hips, waist and ass are his hand holders

Literally cannot get enough of you

If you’re cooking you can bet your ass he’s wrapping his arms around you(or just unpacking takeout if you don’t cook)

Squishing you into his buff chest with his strong arms :’) whatta dream

Even in public his hands are wrapped tightly or losely around your waist, 0 fucks given at the pictures people take or the stares

He’s you number one support and judge

Perfect candidate to take to the mall when you want to buy some clothes or whatever

This is one horny ass man(but y’all knew that already)

Anything you wore he’d just melt and start making Inappropriate jokes

“How’s this one” you’d mutter mostly to yourself as you examined the dress

“It’s great ma, it look even better on the floor tho” He’d chuckle darkly

But your just like

“guess I’ll fuck him in the dressing room ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “

Sometimes you have those down moments where you basically just hate yourself(terrible fucking feeling m8)

BUT RICHARD IS HAVING NONE OF THAT

I feel like he’d cancel EVERYTHING he has on his schedule and clean the whole house and set up the cutest fort and puts on a shit ton of Disney movies and snacks for you

He takes his time leaving soft and gentle kisses all over your body, starting from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear before lazily clicking play on the little mermaid

He could barely focus on the movie

His hands would be draped lazily over your stomach squeezing the soft skin(making you uwu)and his head buried in the crook of your neck, giving you innocent kisses

A wide smile permanent on your face

You’d order some take out and just drink some red wine as he worships your body in the most innocent ways possible to the dirtiest ways

This dude is the dream boyfriend once he’s met the one honestly

and vice versa

Every time he feels down(which isn’t a rare thing) you’d be there.

His head would be against your chest as you softly massage his scalp, lips pressed against his forehead and you whispered all the things you love about him and all the good qualities that he has

MELTING IS WHAT THIS BOY IS DOING ON THE INSIDE

MELTING

Anywhore, moving on

it took Richard 6 months for him to introduce you to Aaliyah bc he wanted to make sure that you were actually serious

Which is completely understandable

He was so nervous bc like

whAT if you don’t want that big of a commitment??

Or what if Aaliyah doesn’t like you???

His worst nightmare is both his baby girls not getting along

Literally had to take a moment alone so he could recompose himself

He wouldn’t know what hell to do if both the loves of his life dont get along

But let’s be honest

He was stressing for nothing

You guys ended up loving each other

It took Aaliyah a few minutes to open up due to her shyness

But y’all ended up being the best of friends

And Richards heart just meLTED

You ended up befriending Yocelyn too

And Richards all like :0

If you weren’t confident before you met him, then he really did boost your confidence up little by little

Starting with random messages throughout the day

Some sweet other explicit ;)

Would take so many pictures and videos of you just so you could see how pretty you are

And if you were already confident(which we all should be :’)

Y’all would take some bomb ass pictures together

Like them cute ass insta couples

Will make such cute and inappropriate comments under your posts

Making many fans gush and hollar

Ugh, goals man, literal goals

Most fans don’t take the news well

Hate comment after hate comment

But you know what?

Y’all prolly fucking too hard to pay attention

This man is a sex God(I have no proof but I have no doubts either)

Y’all caNNOT change my mind

Pull out game weak(sorry lol)

But goOD THING YOU’RE ON THE PILL!!

This one kinky motherfucker istg

From bondage to breeding to choking to ooff I need a shower

Will take you anywhere in the house

The couch? check

Kitchen? check

Guest room? check

I want to say that he’s into public sex but I doubt it, like he’d think it’s hot but he wouldn’t want to risk anything

LUCKILY YOU’RE THERE TO PUSH HIS BUTTONS!!! ;)))))

Lazy make out sessions are a common thing

Lots of booty grabbing

My man loves that booty

You get along perfectly with the guys

Even though at first all of you were a bit iffy

Because

“Oh shit, new girl and she isn’t a one night stand :0”

But after like a week maybe, all of you started getting more comfortable

Maybe a little too comfortable which had Richard seeing red

I mean

He’d love the fact that everyone was getting along

BUT THERES BOUNDARIES !!

Ooff did I mention that he’s super protective with a tad bit of possessiveness

Not enough to be considered dangerous or unhealthy but enough to irritate you

“Like back tf up bruh I can protect myself”

And he’s all like

:0

You could be at the club, dancing and having the time of your life and some guy just creeps up behind you

And Richards got this murderous look on his face that even scared you

But let’s not lie, mad Richard is a sexy Richard

Y’all have some bomb sex after but then a deep conversation about your faithfulness to each other

Speaking of conversations

It’s 2:49am and y’all talking bout raiding Area 51 or some shit

You’re both drunk off sleep that you just go deep in thought

Or it could be 11:11pm and you guys are just confessing your love for one another

Singing his songs while you clean around the house or catch up on your work

And his just staring at you with the biggest heart eyes

Random slow dances with or without music happens at least one a week

Dates could go from a fancy ass Italian restaurant or a stop at 7/11 and a drive around the streets listening to slow r&b music

You could be gazing up at the stars and he’d try his best to focus on the road instead of your beautiful face

Days away from him suck ass

With him touring and practicing could be hard on both of y’all

But you make it work

Or when he’s finally home and you have to go to uni or work leaves him a bit disappointed

But you’ll do some romantic shit when you or he gets back

THIS MAN WILL SPOIL THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

will surprise you with diamond earrings or necklaces

You end up calling him your sugar daddy jokingly

Speaking of nicknames

Calls you mami more than your name

Like, does he even know your name?

Prolly not(jk)

You’re just mami, baby girl or babe

But you don’t mind whatsoever

Teaching you Spanish)if you already don’t know it) and kissing you every time you get something right

He’s a messy one lady’s

So every time you fight it’s prolly bc of his mess

You end up yelling at him to clean the mess

And he act all offended but does as you says cause he’s a good boy

Literally cried when Aaliyah calls you mommy

But your panicking

Like full on panicking

Like what if Yocelyn comes and drags your ass??

You’re out here worrying while Richard is bawling his eyes out in happiness

None of them have a problem with it thankfully

It just means you’re treating their baby girl right

Now it’s your cue to cry

Damn you love both of them so much

And he loves both of y’all twice as much

OH and meeting your family would be the end of him

His having a full on breakdown once again

His confidence is out the window

Cause what if they don’t accept him bc he’s a dad????

Or bc he’s constantly on the road and not being able to give you all the love and attention you deserve???

That’ll crush him

And Yashua’s prolly making fun of him lowkey

Your dad(or male figure if you don’t have a dad) would intimidate THE SHIT out of him

But once again, after a few minutes or hour

Everyone got along perfectly

Your family ended up loving him and his family ended up loving you just as much

And there’s so much more that could go on with dating Richard but this is all my poor brain could think of

Plus I’m afraid that if I write more tumblr will fuck my shit up like always :’)

Deuces 🤙🏼

[soncfseed]

REPOSTED FROM MY OLD BLOG: Probably my most important headcanon, so please take the time to read this!!

spoilers ahead, but im gonna look at ethans cutscenes and talk about how his bpd (borderline personality disorder) affects his actions and his perceptions throughout the story of new dawn. this is all just headcanon and my interpretation of ethan and how bpd would affect him. none of this is meant to excuse his more nefarious actions, but explain why my interpretation of ethan doesnt pin him as a selfish, horrible, awful monster, but rather a young man with a lot of unresolved trauma and a serious mental health condition who ended up making some terrible choices that resulted in a lot of pain for a lot of people.

0:05 - ethan’s introduction

in this scene ethan experiences some pretty quick and dramatic mood shifts, and has a pretty significant emotional outburst. these are characteristic of the mood swings and emotional dis-regulation experienced by many people with bpd. he starts off catching the captain off guard, sneaking up behind them. ethan has been taught to distrust outsiders, and a symptom of bpd he experiences is suspicion of others and sometimes brief bouts of paranoia. this kind of behaviour makes sense when this is taken into context.

he says that he might not be what the captain expects. this is part of his low self esteem and struggles with his self image and how others perceive him. he constantly feels as though he can never truly be his own person, outside of joseph seed, and that his existence is a disappointment to those who know him.

once he sees the book, he is triggered into a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. acknowledging that the deputy is the one who found the book, and according to joseph’s prophecy will be the true ruler of new eden, is what sets him off. once ethan goes into his rant about it should’ve been him, he’s experiencing a mood swing and sudden spike in his anger and irritability. due to his issues w emotional regulation and control over his expressions of emotion, ethan lashes out by screaming and knocking over the podium in the church. mood swings for bpd sufferers can be only minutes long. what pulls ethan back down to earth a bit is a sudden rush when he realizes he can work with the captain to enlighten new eden to the truth: that joseph is a man, not a messiah, and kind of a shitty one at that who abandoned them all.

3:50 - ethan’s first speech in new eden

ethan’s posturing here is just that; posturing. he’s putting on a bit of a show with the “non believer” bit. he does, however, not entirely trust outsiders nor would he trust that the people of new eden wouldn’t turn on him if he suggested that the captain go north. no, instead he plays off of what he expects the people will do to avoid potential rejection or rebellion. this plays off of his mistrust and suspicion of others, as well as serves to protect his secret interests (getting proof that joseph is dead to get new eden to move on from him) and his ego (tied to the bpd symptom of self image issues and unstable self realization).

ethan can’t help but be a bit sarcastic with “we are all his children”. sarcasm and unwarranted aloofness can tie into bpd, and here it definitely does due to his poor relationship with his father, and with the rumours surrounding his paternity in new eden.

while bpd does not inherently make people manipulative, manipulation of others is often something those with bpd adopt as a coping mechanism to manage their unstable relationships or unstable self image. ethan has adopted this trait in some ways and this is definitely one of them. he does not trust the people of new eden, and knows they wont listen to him fully. this is his main motivator for keeping his plan secret.

the fact that ethan feels he has to act a certain way when he’s the leader of new eden further contributes to his unstable self realization. he puts on different fronts to different people to try and both please them and protect himself.

when he says “they will at last understand that i am their prophet…”, this is in part because he feels he’s worked hard to be the inheritor of new eden. he’s not only joseph’s son (and even if he doesn’t like joseph he wants to be recognized as his biological son, making the rumours about his paternity even more hurtful) but he’s been a successful leader as far as we can tell. to think he will lose it all over a book is damn near panic inducing for ethan. well this is in part a kind of arrogance, it’s fueled by his extreme emotions/mood swings as well as how closely he ties his identity to his position within his community. because his self image is so unstable, threats to that cause him to act in ways that may seem irrational or extreme in order to try and protect his self image. also, ethan will only help the captain in exchange for something in part bc of his suspicion of others. he doesn’t want to offer new eden’s archers and resources without knowing that he will benefit in return. after all, if something goes wrong in new eden bc of this outsider and he allowed it, it’s his responsibility to take the blame and fix it.

5:20 - into the bliss

theres not much in this scene to tie to his bpd. one line i think is important though: “bring me proof of my fathers death and i will make sure you are remembered as a friend of the prophet”. well this can be interpreted as ethan saying to kill joseph, i dont think he is. ethan believes joseph is long gone, that he could never survive all alone for this long. ethan isn’t evil, he’s not asking someone to commit murder, he’s asking them to confirm that someone is already dead. sure, he’s self serving and he wants something in return for his allyship, but to him this is how he can ensure a fair trade, and that an outsider won’t take advantage of him or new eden as easily.

14:18 - ethan, interrupted

ethan’s big speech where joseph fuckin crashes it. at first, he literally does not even see joseph in the crowd. he truly believes he’s dead and that the captain will bring back proof of this. to him, adherence to his rule makes sense; he’s the leader, and things need to change. it is arrogant, because ethan has partially internalized a sense of superiority and entitlement because of his position as joseph’s son, and now heir to the rulership of new eden (he thinks). this combined with an unstable self esteem and self image makes him want total compliance to his rule. criticism, disobedience, they threaten his self worth and that can send him into an emotional spiral or severe mood swing. so, to try and avoid the negative consequences he experiences from perceived slights and rejections, he wants a clean slate and total adherence to his new rules.

when he actually sees joseph, he stops, stammers, and says “father?”. not the father. just father. in this moment, his father who abandoned him (who went out for smokes and never came back) has suddenly shown up in the middle of his speech about him being dead. his arm drops and he stands there, stunned and speechless. his first question is “where have you been?”. he wants to know why and he asks why. why did his father abandon them? abandon him? the answer is completely meaningless to him. it’s basic, it has no detail, and isn’t sufficient. he’s speechless again for a bit, breathing heavier and hyperventilating. he steps away from joseph. when joseph calls the captain god’s sword, ethan damn near does a double take. he’s literally standing in his father’s shadow while he exalts an outsider in front of his own son, after interrupting his speech and embarrassing him in front of everyone.

one of ethan’s symptoms is his overvaluing and undervaluing people in his life. this is when he switches from overvaluing the captain, putting too much faith and hope into them, to undervaluing and practically hating them. his relationship with his father is tenuous, and rocky. it is characterized by ethan’s intense desire to be josephs successor and publicly recognized as his son. ethan even calls out to joseph, upset about the fact that hes now suddenly and publicly being dethroned; joseph doesnt even look back at him. ethan rejects josephs words in anger. he has a sudden outburst in front of the crowd; yet another sudden spike in his emotions from a stressful situation causes him to say what he’s really thinking. “you abandoned me. you abandoned us.” ethan says joseph didn’t leave instructions or a message, just left ethan to lead with no idea how. he does the best job he can under these extreme circumstances, and now all of his hard work is for nothing. that would make even the most level headed neurotypical person upset. whenn ethan starts to lose the support of new eden, he breaks down a bit. the anchor of his self image has been completely ripped away from him in a moment. he storms off partially and his body language is pretty dire; head down, shoulders moving sharply like he’s breathing harshly, and then he turns to watch the crowd walk away from him. imo, part of why ethan doesn’t completely lose it in this scene is that he might be partially dissociating or beginning to dissociate or experience some de-realization from the sudden, acute emotional distress this moment causes for him.

17:45 - ethan’s response

this is when ethan says that the captain betrayed him. they had a deal. he completely put his trust into the captain, idealizing them as the person who could solve his problems, only for them to bring joseph back and make everything in ethans life worse. now, the pendulum swings to the other side where ethan begins to loathe the captain. saying that the captain should have killed joseph themselves is an expression of 1) the intense reactions people with bpd can have to certain situations and 2) his skewed logic because of it. what seems totally irrational to someone else might seem like the only logical solution to a problem for someone with bpd. the stress of such a painful, emotionally charged situation like this one. he never wants to see the captain again; on a dime he flips, from putting all of his trust and hope into one person to saying he never wants to see them again and that they betrayed him. this quick switch of very intense perceptions of others is a cycle of idealization and undervaluing that people with bpd may experience.

18:07 - ethan’s prayer letter

in this letter, ethan discusses how he feels he hates his father for the abandonment; how joseph “expected everything and gave nothing”, how ethan never got to really have joseph as a father for himself because he was too busy being THE father. he says wrath and envy grip him tight to the point he feels he can’t breathe. this is definitely indicative of ethans mood swings and intense emotions, especially the irrational anger and aggression many people with bpd can have. then, he says nobody but himself, his mother, and god can know about how he feels, and that he must put on a front for new eden and be a leader to them “no matter what”. this is absolutely something i can see being tied to his bpd. he is aware that expressing his thoughts, feelings, and reactions to others would probably get a negative reaction. he seeks to avoid that, as well as to avoid the judgment from others he thinks he would get. his unstable self image is complicated by the fact that he feels obligated to hide the symptoms of his illness, and pretend to be someone he isn’t. this only makes it worse, as he ties his social and therefore individual identity to “ruler of new eden”. he relies very much on the responses and reactions of others to gauge whether or not he seems “normal” or capable of doing his job.

18:27 - npc dialogue

ethan says that josephs followers see the prophecy coming to light, but ethan sees it as a chance for new eden to make its own path. this is also when ethan says that he is josephs biological son, and that his mother raised him outside of hope county and brought him there when he was young to be raised by joseph. she died from an illness on their journey. this is some pretty significant baggage for ethan. he wants new eden, and himself, to become independent. the only reason he stays in new eden is because of his mother. he loves her, and idealizes her in a way that never flips to undervaluing because the relationship is one sided since her passing.

19:23 - megan’s letter to joseph

this is important just bc it states megan raised ethan as a non believer but after the collapse taught him about joseph’s word. this is important for ethan because it means he had to relearn some pretty significant things after the apocalypse, including a whole new religion and worldview. this can be very confusing for a child, and in part explains why ethan isn’t totally on board with josephs word, or the all of new eden’s beliefs surrounding him; his earliest formative years had nothing to do with joseph seed or prophets or collapses. he had to convert, and did so as a child who couldn’t really understand or make that choice for himself. he is tied to new eden solely because of megan, and without her wish to have him be josephs heir, he would’ve left long ago.

20:08 - intermission/flashback

this is when we see a young babby ethan get nasty with joseph. this is an early sign of his bpd developing. he has an intense reaction and says something very hurtful to his father over not getting what he wants, which isn’t just the apple but his father’s approval. to him, this is another rejection by joseph, or it is perceived that way by a young ethan. constantly being told something wasn’t gods plan, or it isn’t part of a prophecy without further explanation was confusing and frustrating for ethan growing up. he wanted the apple to be like his father; he wanted the apple to feel integrated into his community like the others who were given the gift. this denial, one that is permanent and leaves no room for ethan to change or grow and become capable of handling its strength leaves him feeling defeated and angry. his reaction of “you are an old man, and when you die i will take one” shows a very quick emotional shift and a shift from idolizing his father and wanting to be like him to practically hating him, becoming cold and distant in mere moments.

21:16 - joseph’s worry

“ethan’s sin is pride. there is something deep inside him that no word of mine can touch. i worry that now as an outsider appears to take his place that beast will feed on resentment and grow stronger. ” YEAH ITS BPD YA DINGUS fdpgpfd but more seriously, ethans pride is a coping mechanism to deal with his ever changing self image and self worth. its a rigid barrier to keep others from knowing how weak he really feels, and how uncertain he is of himself.

23:25 - ethan’s betrayal

this is where ethan betrays new eden and sets them up so the highwaymen can destroy the settlement. he tolerates the highwaymen laughing at him only so he can get what he wants: revenge. this extreme response is from his bpd. his impulsive anger, and the extremes his mind goes to won out and he acted on his violent thoughts.

26:26 - ethan and the fruit

when joseph asks ethan what hes done (referring to betraying new eden), ethan says: “i did what i had to do. i freed myself, i freed us all from you, from your rules.”. to ethan this was logical. this was something he had to do. he didn’t take pleasure in it, he didn’t go into new eden and kill everyone himself. no, he handed them over to the highwaymen in a desperate, out of touch moment. the spark was there and his disorder was gasoline that helped the flames to spread. he reacted intensely, out of irrationally extreme anger, towards an entire group of people he had shifted to undervaluing. he felt betrayed so he returned in kind, but no matter how wrong that was ethan couldnt see it.

“i will have what you denied me. you gave it to an outsider but you wouldn’t give it to me. i am your flesh and blood” and explosively tells joseph he doesnt know gods will. he lashes out against his father, arguing with him and rebelling directly by taking the one thing joseph kept him from that he truly wanted. to ethan, in my hc, the apple is more than just power and more than just something he covets. its a symbol of joseph’s fatherhood, of his love; he gave it to everyone but ethan, his own son, and now he would take what he wanted from life with or without josephs input.

31:08 - the death of ethan seed

the first thing ethan says after he sees joseph is “father… i’m sorry”. he’s scared. he knows he’s going to die. he asks if joseph can forgive him. he knows he’s fucked up, obviously, not just by eating the apple but by betraying new eden. his last word is “father”. no matter how torn his relationship was with joseph, he wanted his father’s love. he wanted connection with his father. he wanted to feel validated, have his identity confirmed, even in his last moments.

[im-tops-bottom]

Dear @puppy-bitch24

As soon as Tony stands up, Logan hears the sound of quinjets and quickly stands up. He looks at Tony and Tony already turns on the comms line.

"look sharp people. Our guests have arrived. Thor get a move on. Hulk go for gold. Smash some stuff up. Let's get a move on"

After the helicarrier battle has been and gone everyone starts getting into position for the attack on New York. Once the portal opens, everyone springs into action.

Soon Logan finds himself up in Stark tower alongside Tony as Loki wonders in looking smug.

Logan let's everything go ahead and Loki is a bit confused as to why Logan isn't speaking, why he isn't protecting Tony, why he can't control Tony, why Logan isnt stopping him from throwing Tony out and the window and then he gets the gist of it as Thor shows up. He smirks as he looks directly at Logan.

"so you can see into the future."

"try came from the future"

"what?"

"hulk smash"

After everything is done and dusted, after Logan decides to let Tony save the world anyway after finding out there is no other way of sending the rocket. He watches hulk save Tony. Sees how Steve looks the moment Tony finally wakes up. How they had schwarma before going their separate ways.

Logan leaves unnoticed as he rides back home. He knows what is about to happen. How Steve talks Tony into taking the quinjet because he's got something to show him. The moment Steve and Tony have sex for the first time and begin their unhealthy relationship. Maybe since he changed the course of history that it might now happen or still will. Depends on his luck.

Life decides to up the ante an hour when he makes his way into his room after some heavy training with Scott Summers. He tells Scott that he won't go after Jean anymre because he has someone else in his mind. Scott says he is gonna miss being the knight in shining armor.

Logan is surprised as he walks in to his room and sees a lone figure standing by the window. He closes the door behind him and locks it Incase of intruders.

"alright bub how long have you been here?"

"long enough to know that I wanna take you away from here and back to my home"

"and why is that?"

"because someone told me the future and I didn't like it. I cashed in my receipt and got a new one"

"I'm guessing you had a talk with Rogers?"

"yeah. He tried to be sweet and lay it on me."

"promised that he won't repeat the same mistake?"

"oh he promised alot of things"

"and what did you say?"

"that I couldn't take that chance. Not after the things i went through"

"and what did he say?"

"he mentioned that there was this guy who looked like he was in love with me"

"oh yeah? Want me to have a word with him? Give him the shovel talk? What does he look like?"

"you may have seen him around, he's tall, handsome, has these glasses to make sure his eyes doesn't deatroy building."

"oh god you are a dork. Did you seriously call Scott Summers handsome?"

"oh come on! You never thought about it?"

By now Tony and Logan had slowly walked all the way to each other and are finally now standing right in front of each other that they can feel the small breaths. Logan wraps his hands around Tony's waist as he pulls him so they are now pressed up against each other.

"what made you change your mind?"

"after being let down by so many people In my life I thought I might give love one last try and what better way than to give it a go with someone who sounds like the person im willing to share all my secrets with. Someone who isn't afraid to be honest"

"and the real reason"

"Steve said that he could do so much better than Bucky. Once you have a taste of the patriotic dick you'll never want any other"

"oh so that's the original one. He said something similar in the future."

"I also said that if we find Bucky then I would rather them be friends then have Steve be wary Everytime i am around him because of my liking towards the man"

"oh I'll be fighting tooth and nail to prevent you being alone with him"

"wait I went there? He almost talked you into doing it once. He said he had proof of Steve cheating. Steve came to the rescue and whisked you away before you got hurt. They had a long chat afterwards which involved blood but at least it stopped Bucky from leaving you alone"

Tony sighs and he starts playing with Logan's singlet.

"I wonder if there will ever be an alternate universe where Bucky comes to my rescue and we run away to a far distant castle where I magically give birth to his 6 babies and we live happily ever after"

Logan growls as he picks Tony up and throws him on the bed.

"over my dead body bu- AHHH"

Logan feels a headache coming on as a bright light appears and he can hear tony screaming for him before he blacks out.

He wakes up and it looks like he is back in Dooms tent. He sees a badly injured Tony turning off the machine and slowly make his way towards him.

'maybe that was all just a dream' Logan thinks as he tried to sit up.

"no no fuzzy bear don't sit up"

He looks up at Tony as the man sits down and lays Logan's head on his lap.

"what happened?"

"you were a complete asshole"

"what do you mean?"

"you tried to go up against Doom alone and got knocked out. If you had listened to our warnings you wouldn't have gotten hit by a wave of electrical power. It knocked you out. Didn't send you flying like me but I guess we can't all be majestic and blessed"

"but but"

"no buts"

"what about the time machine?"

"what time machine? There's only this giant mess that keeps sending pulses of electrical currents out. I stopped it before the waves could get bigger and take out the city. Why did something happen?"

Logan feels a rush of sadness wash over him before he pushes it away. No he is so done with hiding. He is going to fight tooth and nail for this guy. He drags Tony's face down and kisses him with all the love and affection he has held for so many years. Tony gasps into the kiss before deepening it.

They pull away as they hear someone cough and find Steve standing there with a raised brow. Logan stands up and faces him dead on.

"no I am tired of you torturing him bub. This time I'm taking him and not letting him go."

Steve looks like he is about to pounce but Tony stands in front of Logan much to everyone's surprise. Steve looks heartbroken before Natasha winks at Logan and pulls Steve away.

Tony turns around "now where were we?" And pulls Logan down into a deep heated kiss.

"what changed your mind?"

"theres this man who made me want to change the path to my future. I trust this man enough to share all my secrets with. He has never let me down before and I hope he never will. He's tall, buff, great in bed, won't fist me with his claws out because apparently it's dangerous. He has a great heart and real good sense of humor. Heard of him?"

"maybe have. Once or twice. Why? Who's asking?"

"someone who would like to give this a chance if he would let me"

"good because he doesn't plan on letting you go"

Tony steps up to Logan so they are pressed up together and kisses him like his life depends on it

"we have a lot of talking to do when we get back"

"first medics. Then you talk to Rogers and then come to your room and I'll be waiting with food, coffee, and a bubble bath"

Tony gives him a peck on the cheek as they head to the medics in the quinjet.

Once everything is said and done between Steve and Tony which Logan watches through one of the security cams to make sure Tony doesn't get hurt, he behind prepping up dinner, coffee and the bath as he waits. After a couple of minutes he smiles as he hears tony walk in and he heads over to welcome the man with a soft kiss.

Little do they know that an ex hydra super soldier assassin had been watching everything with a smirk as he plans his moves. He chuckles in his room as he watches the security cameras.

"no one touches my property and gets away with it"

[kathillards]

rangerstop day two

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE MEGAFORCE RANGERS SHOUTED US OUT AT THEIR PANEL AZIM TOLD EVERYONE ABOUT A GROUP OF FRIENDS FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY WHO MET BECAUSE OF POWER RANGERS AND POINTED AT US AND THE MEGAFORCE RANGERS ALL CHEERED AND TOLD US TO STAND UP OH MY GOD

uhhh sorry how do i move on from that how do i even think about anything else. the panel room was CROWDED people were FILMING kat and tabby had gone up to ask questions (which were HUGE hits) and come back and sat down AND THEN AZIM SAID THAT in the middle of a question about. i dont even fucking remember. something about what great community values power rangers has or something? and i guess we were related to power rangers being a community or whatever but bitch. BITCH. he said it and like pointed at us and they all started clapping (this sounds fake as hell i know BUT THERES VIDEO PROOF SOMEWHERE???) and everyone turned to look at us and we were like hi and then like two minutes later azim went “oh wait i have to make a correction, its not a group of girls its three girls and one guy because i think abigail isnt here? right?” and we were like ya so uh moral of the story... azim rizk i would murder ten hundred men for you

ok other things happened too, this will probably not be in chronological order bc i cant think right now 

- mike ginn stopped when he saw me and looked for tabby who was hiding behind me when she saw him and he looked around for tabby and did his pointing thing again and it was so cuuute

- kat was talking to christina about how we avoided the cast all day yesterday and she was like “yes but i saw you anyway ;) and i was wondering when you’d come over to say hi!” shes so CUTE and then they talked about her rescue puppy and she was so happy to talk about her puppy

- ciara and christina made ben sign the art presents he gave them, ciara did it first and christina was like OMG WHY DIDNT YOU AUTOGRAPH MINE and made him sign hers too

- christina and i did a WHOLE photoshoot we did a normal pic then a silly pic but then she didnt like so we did a kissy face pic and she was like “oh i think i did a duck face” and im like thats ok so did i AND OUR PICS ARE SO CUTE AND SHE HUGGED ME SO TIGHT I. WOULD. DIE. FOR. YOU. CHRISTINA. MASTERSON.

- selwyn called tabby his girlfriend when i showed up without her he was like “wheres my girlfriend” bc he remembered us from last night and then she came over and he was like THERE YOU ARE and gave her a free selfie (and signed her space dvd with “tj is the real leader of in space” but refused to X out andros’ face bc that was mean) and he covered up najee’s face on her kevin t-shirt and then was upset bc it looked like he was touching her chest and tracy lynn laughed at him over it AND THEN HE TOLD US TO COME TO THE TGIF IN THE HOTEL AFTERWARDS BC THE RANGERS WERE GONNA GO THERE AND GET DRUNK AND HE INVITED US TO HAVE DRINKS W/ HIM but we stood him up because... we are tired... he was like “yeah we have this stupid vip dinner but like we’re gonna try to leave early and just go get fucking smashed” and we were like ur so valid selwyn. i love you.

- kat showed azim my tweets defending megaforce and he had to put the phone down to run his hands through his hair and be like “wow that was such a specific takedown” and kat was like “yeah she just says this shit all the time bc shes seen megaforce five hundred times” and he was like “she was so detailed though she didnt just say ‘you suck’ she put THOUGHT into her takedowns” 

- (later when he signed my super megaforce green print he called me “my sista in social media smackdown!!!” complete with that many exclamation points)

- brennan said “i like your hat” to ben five times and he also signed tabby’s as well with his three catchphrases (she asked for him to write “awesome!” and he was like “i had more lines than that....”) he also told us he and the dino charge team were invited back for a dc/nsteel teamup but they kept cancelling them bc of budget reasons till it was just him and yoshi and he was finally like “i told them to just bring yoshi back because like thats his brother” and i was like “but then they didnt even INTERACT” and he was like “i KNOW”

- tabby’s tracy story: she asked tracy if it was uncomfortable fighting in crop tops and short skirts and tracy said “it wasnt uncomfortable but it was hard to not show everything” and she was like “idk why a power ranger would dress like that” and tabby told her ashley should have her own fashion line of athletic wear for fighter girls and tracy was like YES and tabby said she should have been leader of turbo bc she was into cars and tracy said that when they told her that ashley was gonna have a car plot she was like “ew no i dont want to touch greasy car oils” but that she was happy that ashley got to challenge herself

- kat was standing around azim the entire morning and he was introducing her to everyone who came up to him like she was his handler and at one point accidentally implied that she was his girlfriend and kat was like no im not and he was like “oh whoops it did kinda sound like that...” and his actual handler was like “why did u correct him” and kat was like “NO I LOVE HIS GIRLFRIEND” 

- when i was taking my pics w/ the megaforce cast and andrew was the sweetest angel and he kept making poses over my shoulder while i giggled and then he asked me for a hug and KISSED MY CHEEK and hugged me so tight and was like “love you guys” I WOULD DIE FOR YOU ANDREW GRAY

- john mark is literally the funniest person alive and he was constantly going around the megaforce booth when we were there like (to ben when he was giving art to ciara and christina) “WHERES MINE” and to me when i was having them sign my megaforce prints “WHERES MINE” hes so funny and i love himmm

- ciara was signing my prints but she got distracted when we asked about her dogs and she stopped and opened her phone and started showing us pics and videos and she was soo happy to talk about her dogs too and then we took our pic and checked it to make sure it looked good and tabby was like “you look gorgeous” and she was like “we BOTH look gorgeous” i cannot believe. AND THEN she threw in a group photo for FREE and we all got in there

- kat was telling us and azim about some douchebag vendor who was like hitting on her and inviting her to an afterparty and was like “are you over 21″ when she was just trying to look at his spd toys and azim was literally “which guy. where. where is he.” HE WAS GONNA KILL THAT GUY FOR KAT HE LOVES HER

- we somehow got on the subject of azim SHAVING HIS BEAUTIFUL BEARD and he was like “oh well we went to the make a wish foundation to meet kids and the beard scares them so i had to shave” and i was like “thats racist” and he was like nooo but u could tell his mind was blown and i was like “cameron didnt shave” and he was like “well cameron is white” and i was like SO YOU ADMIT ITS RACIST and he laughed also im correct

- related but michael copon came over to jessica rey’s table while we were there and she was like “hi michael these are my FRIENDS” and they were talking about how they’re cousins and they’re both half filipino and tabby was like “why didnt they give you any scenes together in the teamup!” and jessica was like “because i was with erin!” and michael was like “because they couldnt have two filipinos together in one scene” power rangers got WOKE man

- kat to andrew: i have a huge troy plushie!

andrew: oh my dogs would rip that up immediately

kat:

andrew: do your dogs not rip things up

kat: i dont... i wouldnt let them...touch my troy plushies...

(we love you andrew. he doesnt even know hes at a con. hes just here to chill.)

- someone at the panel asked a stupid question about “if you could cameo in any other season which season would you pick” like they dont get asked this all the fucking time and the rangers were like hmm like beast morphers or dino charge and then andrew, my husband my light my life, was like “fuck power rangers, i wanna go to the dc universe” (he didnt cuss obviously) but like... king. legend supporting legends. AND THEN CHRISTINA WAS LIKE “oh mood i wanna be in the pokemon universe” and john mark was like “as what” and she was like “i dont know i didnt watch it” QUEEN OF POKEMON she kins jigglypuff

- tabby was at ann marie crouch’s booth and telling her how she loved that princess shayla was the wild force team’s mom and she was like aww yeah i felt such a maternal instinct even though that was before i had my actual child!! shes so cute!! shes so pretty!!

- jessica rey is literally SO WONDERFUL AND FUN TO TALK TO we went to hang out bc tabby wanted her wild force dvd signed and she was just telling us her stories of hanging out w/ the other boys and how she went to drink w/ azim just to keep him company (bc peter and yoshi were there and they were like “we dont drink” nerds) so cuuute and then she had that pic of her and peter and yoshi and they’re making stupid faces and she’s smiling like an angel and she’s like THEY DIDNT TELL ME IT WASNT A SERIOUS PHOTO and i asked her jokingly how much for it and she was like take it its $30 and i was like pls charge me more have my money take my soul

- tabby and kat were at the megaforce booths and jessica rey came over and was like “excuse me what are you guys doing with MY GIRLS” and john mark was like “uh they’re OUR GIRLS” and then cameron pulled jessica over and was like “actually this is MY babe” and then she tried to leave bc she was in the way of ppl in line and azim stopped her and was like “no no stay you’re part of our FAMILY”and uh basically the power rangers family is the cutest family in the whole world thank you good night

- taylor swift wrote gorgeous about andrew gray

[missing-my-griffin]

ok so CLARKE AND HER TRAUMA: an explanation.(warning: long.)

Everyones rly upset about how clarke left bel behind to die when he would never do that to her. About how shes a hypocrite tasting her own medicine and doesnt have the right to be so upset. (I read someone described it as her having a hissy fit?).

I made this post abt how clarke is traumatised and y thats the reason she was able to feel nothing leaving bel behind. Now let me elaborate on that. 

Clarkes BIG trauma was her giving up in the desert ready to blow her brains out. And I mean: thats Clarke. Badass, cold, ruthless Clarke. Shes such a strong character, and for her to reach that point.., thats pretty intense, guys. After a traumatic experience like that its difficult to bounce back, to heal without someones help. And after you have such a low point, its very easy to develop a codependent, almost sick connection/addiction so something. Youre vulnerable and wounded, people pushed that far into desperation usually dont have any emotional strength left within themselves to heal. So usually they find something to distract themselves. The most common thing where this happens in our „non fictional“ world is a new partner after youve been hurt by someone. People with low self esteem who are unable to heal themselves find a new partner and every emotional connection they have to anything gets intertwined with that person, gets projected onto them. That can be self-worth, purpose, love, anything. Your happiness is completely dependant on your relationship with that new partner and how they treat you.

Now of course we are in the 100 universe here, where nothing is ever that mundane, and the stakes are way higher. But its the same principle. Clarke broke, and if she had found a way to heal, if she had found Madi maybe a year later, maybe she would have been better. But she didnt. She found Madi, and everything got projected onto her. Clarke was „gone“ emotionally, but that didnt mean she didnt still yearn for human interaction and love. So in order to cope, she became a purpose and kind of stopped being a person. Because that way she didnt have to deal with her trauma. With being left behind, with being all alone. She wasnt alone anymore now, but in a way she still was. A kid/grown up relationship is nothing like a relationship with someone equal to her. She had to burden everything, and at the end of the day, had noone to talk to. But she didnt feel that anymore, those emotions got neatly stacked away in her unconsciousness. Bc she had a purpose now: madi and her happiness. If you will, Madi was her escape: her excuse to not care about herself, her reason to not deal with her trauma. But that didnt mean she didnt still feel that trauma deep inside. And as the years passed, EVERYTHING got projected onto Madi. Kind of like an addiction, I guess. Most people who get addicted to substances do so in order to not feel whatever they were feeling. So Madi was her Whiskey: while she was with her, everything was good and bubbly and all right. But take Madi away, and we have 6 years of unprocessed, intense emotional trauma that never got dealt with? Plus Madis a sweetheart, and Clarke truly loves her.

And take the radio calls as proof that she did, in fact, feel that trauma. The calls were just another way of coping. She didnt know if shed ever see her friends again, and released she was in love with Bellamy Blake. SO her unconscious, dumb ass came up with another safety blanket: the hypothetical „solution“ to her trauma: for everyone to come back from space and out of that bunker. No need to deal with it, the only way to fix it would be for everyone to come back down anyways, right?

SO fast forward to right now. Everything shed hoped would „fix things“ happened, but nothing got fixed. If anything, she feels more alone than ever. Bellamy didnt wait for her, but she cant blame him, if anything she thinks of course he doesnt love her; never has. Her friends grew into a family shes not a part of. Her mom is god knows where. She realised the hypothetical solution to her trauma was a pipe dream. And the only time shes felt okay was when she was alone with Madi, being a purpose and not a person, not feeling anything but love for this girl.

And then in ep 5&8; she probably started to have a little hope. She had hope Bel and her could at least get some of their closeness back. She started to trust him, maybe even started to feel safe and comfortable. And then BAM he endangers Madi. Shes thrown back light years, bc she got hurt and her trust betrayed in her most vulnerable state.

So she shut down emotionally, and I mean COMPLETELY shut down. She straight up sort of lost her mind. The way she freaks out after bellamy leaves to use Madi? Holy shit. I dont want to know what it feels like inside of her. My poor baby. I mean she just goes to kill Octavia straight away? And O is literally like „what the fuck girl. What are you doing.“

SO in conclusion: Theres a hell of a lot going on inside of Clarke Griffin. Bellamy had 6 years with family and friends, he found love, he has a support system. And she? Shes got nothing. And plus she thinks Bel poisened O for his family and not for her, girl hasnt got a clue.

So its not like shes a stone cold bitch for leavng Bel behind. Its just that for the various reasons I listed, shes not strong enough to care for anything but Madi. She has no way to even start dealing with or feeling her own emotions, so she shuts down, which is why its so easy for her to leave bellamy behind to die. It really just goes to show how far gone this girl is. And thats it. Clarke needs a god damn break. Shes always been the strong one, for 4 seasons straight. And now its all fallen apart. They need to fix her and help her and hug her GOD DAMN IT. 

And one last thing: comparing bellamys reaction in S4 with the bunker to now is just not right. (or ton DC) Octavia is a grown ass woman, first of all, not an innocent child. Grown ups have different instincts when it comes to protecting children. Plus Bellamy does have issues to deal with regarding O, but theyre in no way comparable to Clarkes intense feelings for Madi. (the trauma and codependence I mean) and LASTLY Clarke knows shes being crazy. I dont think she thinks not using Madi its whats best for everyone. So shes not a hypocrite. The situations are totally, completely different. Thats what this show does. It comes up with terrible terrible situations to throw our characters in. These are new stakes. Not recycled moral dilemmas. 

[oflgtfol]

bc i cant stop thinking abt that dream.. im gonna elaborate on it because it was so detailed and so long and felt so real

so it started off with me in a small library but like, it was so cramped and the lights were off. bookshelves were everywhere, and most were like only waist high? strange adults were everywhere, standing against the walls/shelves or sitting in the aisles. all had their hands cuffed behind their backs or in front of them and they all had like, tape or something over their mouths. but there were some adults among them in bullet proof vests and with guns in their hands. i dont know the situation like i dont even think i acknowledged it in the dream but from context clues im p sure it was like a hostage situation

so im in there sneaking around, in the back of my mind i just Know that my parents and my brother are also in the room also sneaking thru the aisles. all the hostage adults are staring at me like, acknowledging that they know im here to help rescue them. so after a few close calls around corners almost getting caught by the gunmen i get to a somewhat open area, meanig that its still cramped but its a small square between bookshelves with a table and 2 chairs. theres a TON of hostages squeezed into this area. i knew that that was the objective, that i had to get there

so me and my family burst forward and the gunmen spot us, but the hostages all help us overwhelm the guys. the gunmen are shooting blindly into the crowd, aiming mostly for me and my family, and SOMEHOW everybody else dodges it but me. literally it went in slow motion and i saw it like in third person, watching it come towards me and i was like “watch it hit me lmao. oh fuck its actually gonna hit me”

so i get shot in my stomach during all this and the pain just, it wasnt all that bad really? like it felt like uhm. getting hit with a water balloon actually (i was just in a water fight yesterday and now upon realizing this its like.... did that contribute to this dream....) so then its all clear like the bad guys are defeated, it gets kinda blurry at this point but i know in some disembodied way that i told my parents after everything wrapped up when they were asking if everyone was okay that i was hit, and they like, didnt care. i was like “HEY i got SHOT in the stomach!” and theyre like k and it took them foreverrrrrrr to get me medical attention. and i wasnt even.. bleeding outwardly? so i was so worried about internal bleeding because like HEY i have a bullet in me so i must be bleeding somewhere like,,, come on lmao

the next like visual thing i remember is in the hospital. its been a while since like, i woke up so this is kinda blurry too but i remember being put into a wheelchair by some nurses.. ive been in a wheelchair only once and that was in 2nd grade but this one i was allowed to use like, on my own, so it threw me off? and at this point i was like, fuck, i’ve been shot before when i was little. i’ve done this before. i had to go into surgery and everything. but it was all vague flashes i could barely remember it but it felt a lot like when i remember the major things from my childhood that i just COMPLETELY forgot about for so long, like speech therapy? like i had gotten injured from a gun when i was less than ten years old and i just, forgot about that? i was like HOW did i forget about this

so i was already in the hospital at this point but for the one room, i wheeled up to the entrance and it felt kinda like the 11th/12th grade cafeteria entrance that i use in school?? a small double door, blank walls, kinda dark, empty, and there was a nurse checking us in. at this point i was surrounded by all my classmates from my ap lang class, or maybe not ap lang in particular idk since like all the ap kids are mostly grouped together despite class? idk man. but my classmates were literally all fine idk why they were there? they werent even there for checkups or anything (disregarding the fact that you dont get a check up at a hospital you get that at a normal doctors office..) so i was there in my literal wheelchair and the nurse was like “wait your turn!!” she was really snooty it was annoying i was like, word for word, “uhm HELLO i have a GSW in my abdomen!!!!!!” and my one classmate finally spoke up as he was being checked in he was like “uh hey brot is here and like, got shot, so i think she should go first lmao?” so the nurse finally smiled at me and admitted me in

and it led to this small cramped room where they scanned your entire body for every single thing wrong with it adn they displayed it on a board where everyone could see, including my classmates, and i was like ohh my god. oh my god. the nurses were like “hm you could eat better but overall you’re in good health!” and i was like DUDE thats embarrassing i dont want everybody to see all my minute issues and LIKE I AM LITERALLY INJURED I HAVE A BULLET IN MY STOMACH WHY ARE YOU DISCUSSING MY DIET WHEN THERE ARE MORE PRESSING ISSUES...

so finally we go into the actual room and its this giant giant mostly empty room, im remembering this room from my first go at this from when i was a kid. theres a table in the middle thats pretty big but has.. no chairs around it... but theres puzzles and weird bookmark things scattered around on it to keep you occupied, and then theres a single table far removed from everything else, only long enough for a body and slightly wider, and theres one identical to that on the other side of the room. and i know from when i was a kid that those are for surgeries and like, i KNOW this but i was like, wrow thats unsanitary lmao

so i go to the table in the middle because thats where you’re supposed to wait till you’re called for surgery, but im so ANXIOUS because like.. its surgery... and now im remembering more of it from when i was a kid like im remembering going into it, waking up from it... my classmates are all sitting on the table like its some casual after school thing, theyre all talking

and then i remember from the first surgery. i remember the surgery itself. i apparently wasnt put under for it. i was conscious during it. i was numbed out obviously but like, i was AWAKE, and that makes me SO fucking scared for my upcoming surgery. like, enough that some of my classmates sense that im getting more and more anxious so they start shoving the bookmarks in my face, and the bookmarks are like the weird ones from the library irl that have quotes on them, and like i cant even read any because im just so anxious like im keeled over in the wheelchair so anxious about it, and the fact that my classmates are trying to interact with me during this is just making it worse like i APPRECIATE trying to make me feel better but i CANNOT read right now

and like, i was never called for surgery? im sitting there until the sun sets, but i only know that because i eventually leave the room just needing to do SOMETHING and the hospital lobby, for all the people waiting for patients? is empty and the sky outside is the dark blue kind of like, twilight

i really dont know how this dream suddenly turns, like i cannot remember the breaching moment and idk if its because its been almost 12 hours since i woke from the dream or if there even WAS a breaching moment

but the next thing i know is that me and shannen are running (me wheeling furiously) along the top of some like, wall. and the hospital looming in front of us is now some sort of fortified citadel, and we’re on one of the defensive walls around it, theres towers and spires everywhere in the distance around the citadel. and theres fucking. ANGELS attackign the place. the angels are classic white dress wearing, harp playing, type creatures but their eyes are all closed and black tears are running down their faces, and literally everything else about them is white. the dresses are this weathered white, their skin is weathered white (like, like marble but without the darker lines yknow?), and their eyes + tears are the darkest things on them so they stand OUT. and their mouths are flat lines, also black like as if its like, lineart or something yknow? like their faces look like masks but they arent. they have harps in one hand and then LONG ass swords in their other hands and they are fuckign terrifying

so me and shannen are outside of the main area of attack and we stumble upon this part of the wall thats like, collapsed, and theres a fucking OCEAN next to the citadel. so the stones that have fallen into the water, theres some sort of chariot on it with the same kind of look as the angels, white + black accent kinda look to it. the chariot is low lying and theres a figure laying over it, collapsed, reaching forward at nothing almost like a zombie trying to move? and he.. god i wanna say it was icarus but i really dont know because i feel, deep down that his name started with an e but i have no idea what dude it would be then bc i know it was a guy from greek mythology somehow but IDK WHO... so this guy also has the same vibe as the angels but his face is like, a fuckign mess, like it looked like he was melting (maybe thats why i wanna say icarus idk) but the melted parts were black, plus the black eyes (whcih were semi open) and the black tears and his mouth was kinda open in a silent wail (also black). i wanna say he had black hair too but idk maybe the whole black mass on his overall head was just the melting.. and this melted black liquid is strewn all over the chariot and the stone block thats barely out of the water. and out of the water, behind the chariot, all the angels were bursting forward and heading to the citadel like as if it was the Angel Spawn Point

IDK it was such a weird fuckign sight it looked like a fallen angel but i just knew deep down that it was some guy from greek mythology but I DONT KNOW WHO IT WOULD BE especially with a name starting with e..!!!

anyway yeah i woke up then. the whole angel sequence was super short compared to the rest of the dream, but it was more on par with what i normally dream than the rest? like i dont recall ever having guns in my dreams except for maybe one dream in middle school that was like,,,,, nuclear apocalypse type thing......... and never have i ever been like, INJURED like that in a dream? i’ve died in dreams yeah but ive never been like.. shot.. the closest thing i can think of was that one weird borderline nightmare earlier this year where i died of internal bleeding in school due to school negligence..... hm!

like idk this was just such a weird dream i normally have very very wild dreams with a more fantasy element to them, and the mundane ones are just me in school or on tumblr, like ive never had like, an ACTION MOVIE kinda thing??

and it felt SO REAL like when i woke up i literally thought that i had some sort of repressed gun related traumatic event from my childhood that i was only uncovering now and it was only when i realized that i was in bed and not like, at the hospital with a gun wound in my stomach, that i was like oh haha no thats not real

[ramdomddadds]

Dream daddy ask: dino-nerd dadsona

He was a nerd wasn’t he?

So, um... holly motherfucking cow, I just remembered how much I love acurate, updated dinosaur stuff, and how it could fit the dream daddy fandom?

so, yeah.

I know I’m such a nerd and I’m so late to the fandom but I had fun writing this and here it is

-ROBERT

He notices how fast you get to withling, and how you always make some animal.

He also notices how interested you are in anything supernatural, But always fiting the science factor in there. Like how it could be that jakelopes exist, and they could crosbreed with hares but not bunnyes becouse they are too diferent or how the yeti could be a distant relative of the orangutan...

Or how you are pasionated about movie making too, but prefer realistic stuff, but he says nothing, because he likes silence.

Then, one day, he comes over for movie and pizza, and he finds it: notebooks.

Notebooks all over the house.

There are three different notebooks on the stack of the tea table. One, opened, on the big table at the dinner room. Another one somewere on the kitchen, and many, intersected with books, on the shelves across the house.

With the excuse that it was open and in the same room, he takes the one in the big table, and flips over it.

Its filled with drawings, sketches, notes and doodles of people, planst and animals.

There’s him, and betsy, so thats… there. Theres a lot of Amanda… and many, many animals.

It calls his atention that many of the drawings fit conversations they had.

MC hadn’t hear speak of the dover ghost before he met Robert, but here they were: pages and pages of sketches and different designs of how the dover ghost may look like.

Some of them were more animal-like, others where very human, and other were made of shadow, the mark of the pencil, smugled with the author’s fingers to make it look like smoke. A chill climbed up Robert’s spine when he came across a particular drawing that did look just the way he remembered it, dragging something behind.

There were steps behind him.

“…Robert?”

Ups. MC was back in the room, and he had his nose deep within the sketchbook. Robert concentrated in another drawing, one that was very common, and odd.

Robert lifted his gaze.

“…dinosausr, with feathers?”

“Oh fuck, Robert! Uh…”

Robert held his gaze, smirking

“Yes. Yes, ok? Dinosaurs with feathers. I can explain it”

Robert closed the notebook, but held it as he crosed his legs, leaning in the table

“Im listening”

And he kept listening as MC went on and on, telling him how come dinosaurs actually had feathers, and the remains of them that could still be found in birds, and so many little fascinating facts, with such passion, similar to when Robert himself told intrinsek made up stories.

He smiled. This could be so much fun

-DAMIEN

He was delighted, with MC’s appreciation of his abode. He even said he felt sorry for the dead butterflyes, but still appreciated the beauty of his colection, and the work that went into it.

As soon as they were sitting at the couch, he had asked for the skulls placed across the room.

They walked over to them and talked about fosils. MC tried to guess the species and origin of the bones, and if he did not get the exact thing, he could deduce a lot from looking at them.He took a bit longer to mention the feathers issue. It was nice to have interests in common with Damien and he didn’t want to ruin it with the stupid argument of the feathers.

Of course the day came. They went to the movies, and Damien turned out to be very scared! MC held his hand and rambled on and on of how unrealistic they were, and why some choices were made, and later on the conversation developed into a very popular, clasic movie:

Jurassic park.

“Most raptor species were smaller but there was one or two species the size of the ones in the movie, in wich they were inspired… but they had feathers, all of them, including the T-rex”

“Wait, what?”

“Ups. Uh… see…”

And it was down hill from there.

-CRAIG

When MC got to the BQ and saw Craig waving from across the yard, he recogniced an SOS call. His buddy needed him.

“Dude, I have no idea what is going on”

MC listened quietly for a moment and then leaned onto Craig and wispered to him

“Moustachasaurus is asking a simple question. Rastasaurodon misinterprets it and makes stuff way more complicated thatn it is. Both monsters engage in an eternal loop of bloodshed, a battle of giants. Is the dress blue or yellow? Are best cats or dogs? Pineapple or pineappleless?”

Craig gigles and covers his mouth, wile looking at the two men arguing in front of him.

Hugo tells Mat why he thinks you can not compare two pictures from different moments in history, but when Mat repeats the question, down they go again.

 “Moustachasaurus displays his extense knolege of taking pics throu the ages and Rastasaurodon tries to scape, but Moustachasaurus attacks from behind and they engage in tragic battle again. It must be mating season or something”

 Craig breaks into laughter, distracting the two men with glasses, and pretends he was having an innocent conversation with MC

“Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?”

 Oh no

He’s got a funny, smug look. Its a trap! ABORT! ABORT!

 “eh… were?”

“Bro”

“Bro”

“Broooo what do you think the tyranosaurus rex did with those tiny arms?”

“Don’t do it bro. I found out. You won’t like it”

“I need to know bro”

“noo”

“Tell me, MC Tell me…”

 Craig held him by the shirt and roughly wispered in his ear

“What were those tiny claws for?”

“Mhhh huu aaaah FEATHERS”

 Craig stepped back, shock written all over his face

 “Bro… not you too”

“Im sorry Craig. It is true”

“No… its impossible. It can not be!”

“The t-rex had feathers. He probabbly had fluffy and colofull arms for display, when fighting for terrytory… and mating”

“Nooooo!”

“I would never lie to you, bro. It is true”

“…the velociraptor too?”

“…specially the velociraptor”

 -JOSEPH

MC tried not to talk about it in front of Joseph. He just didn’t know how he would take it, being religious and all. Until…

Joseph has a yatch. OMG. He has a yacht.

Before they got off the shore, MC was already creeping him out.

 “I just love the sea. It holds so many misteries… do you have interest in all of the marine life? Why would you own a boat if not?”

“hehe, I just enjoy the fantasy of sailing aways into the sunset… just the sea and I”

“But its not just the sea and you. There’s the giant squid. You knew that? its real. They are out there”

“Shh, don’t be afraid. I will protect you”

“No, Im not afraid, Im fascinated! There’s so much we don’t know about the sea, I mean, it is the origin of all life…!”

 And then, an akward silence

…he was nervous, ok?

 “uh… I mean, after God put it there, of course”

“…right”

“…sorry. There’s not a door we can close and open again this time”

 Joseph laughts, maybe to make it a bit less akward

“Actually, speaking of marine life, we may see whales”

“Whales!”

“And dolphins”

“Oh my god, really? Do you see them ofthen?”

“Yeah. You are interested on them? you know they can be cruel right? They drown theyr babys for fun…”

“Oh no, they don’t. Dolphins are some of the most inteligent and social creatures out there. If they ever do that is as a punishent to a misbehabing child, or to teach them to survive when they have trouble. Of course they can go mad or try murder too but it is…”

 Joseph was staring at him in disbelief

 “…rare. …uh. …yeah”

“Wow”

“hmh. Did you know dinosaurs had feathers? Why do you think they died?”

“…what?”

 -MAT

Mat is such a dork. And he babbles. Its adorable! I guess I feel less self-concious near someone who’s also self-concious.

…ok.

He starts talking about music. I don’t know much about music, but it is nice and sweet and Mat knows lots of stuff and it brings memories from a while back, so it is easy to listen and just roll with it.

Speaking of wich.

Retro music reminds me of retro stuff.

And that reminds me of Dinosaurs, and how awful and fake they looked back then.

 “What you talking about, man, dinosaurs are cool. …I think”

“Yeah, but, compare the ones in black and white movies with Jurassic park”

“Oh, yeah. Thats the stuff”

“Ok, now let me tell you: jurassic park is now outdated too. Dinosaurs did not look like that”

“what!?”

 Mat lays down and listens in awe to me babling abut the found proof that dinosaurs had feathers, and not only that, but also also spikes and colorfull crests and shiny scales, and the misterious noises they may had made. Even the spinoaurus from the third movie, turns out it didn’t walk on two feet. I start realising Im babling a bit too much, but he just looks at me with his sweet, big brown eyes and smiles

 “maaaan. I feel so old”

“well, look at the bright side. Not as old as those fossiles”

 -HUGO

Going to the acuarium with Hugo was an exciting adventure. And I got to awe a bunch of kids with my extense trivia about penguins, while he got some kid out of the penguin enclosure. How did she get in there? oh well.

 Trivia nights were also fun. Hugo and I make a good team and there’s lots of cheese!

It was the dawn of a new era. It really started the time the quizz master got some wrestling trivia wrong, and Hugo went head over hills for it.

I went for all the natural history and nature ones.

Thats what I told him when he showed he his colection.

 “Don’t be ashamed of this, man. Remember how I get when Master quizz talks about dinosaurs?”

“Oh. …OH. Oh, boy”

“Oh yeah. I too, have a dark seecret”

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. …but, what could it be? You are just very educated about nature. It is interesting, many people enjoy the nature channel”

 I was giving him a mischevous look

 “It goes deeper than that”

Hugo looks at me in the eyes and then carasses his chin before daring to ask

“…how deep is that?”

I walk closer to him, wrestling belt over my shoulder

“Remember you asked”

 He doesn’t moves, but gulps when I wisper on his ear

 “Dinosaurs had feathers”

“… what?”

“And shiny scales, and colorfull crests, and they made all shorts of music”

“Whait, what, for real?”

“And not all of them went extinct. Not only crocodiles and turtles survived. It has been proved: the birds that we have today descend from dinosaurs like raptors and relatives of the t-rex. Thats why they call it the extintion of the non-aviar dinosaurs now”

“…for real? I… didn’t know that”

“and there was a period, the triasic, when nature was on drugs, and it produced all kinds of crazy stuff!!”

 “Say waaaat?” Said his kid, Ernest, standing in the door. How much did he listen?

 -BRIAN

“oh, is that a dinosaur book?” said MC, and Amanda turned in horror.

“Oh no”

“yes, it is” Said Daisy, with a wide smile “I wish we were studing theese in class, but they don’t talk much about fosiles, just rocks…”

 Brian laughted proudly. “Daisy is not happy with all they teach in class. She is always looking for books with extra stuff…”

Only then he noticed Amanda frantically denying with her head, and making ‘cut it’ gestures. He then looked back at MC. It was too late.

 He was sitting next to Daisy, pointing at pictures in the dinosaur book.

 “Ok, you know this one?”

“Yeah, that’s a brachiosaurus”

“The long-neck one” added Brian “That one’s easy”

“yeah, but it did not look like that. Book is a bit outdated. New data travels faster online. See, look at the skull. Now, where are the holes of the nose?”

 Daisy thoug for a moment.

 “… they are… above its eyes? On the top of the forehead?”

“Exactly. Now, don’t you think that’s a bit weird? Having such a wide, weird nose, and a big mouth way apart? Something’s missing”

“Yeah…?”

“Ok, now look at the skull of an elephant”

 MC took out his phone and showed her pictures

 “… it doesn’t have a nose! And the cavities are huge and… oh my god!”

“Exactly. The trumpet is big and important, but it has no bones. If someone found the fosil of an elephant, but never saw one, they would draw him without a trumpet”

“Like it happened to the brachiosaurus. It had a trumpet! Dad!”

 Brian nearly flinched. He was barely catching up

 “The brachiosaurus had a trumpet, dad! Can you believe it?”

 Brian looked at Amanda. She was scrolling throu her phone like nothing was going on.

 “actually, not necesary a trumpet, see…”

 Daisy turned her attention fully back to MC

 “They are both big hervibores, but the brachiosaurus had a very long neck. It didn’t need a long trumpet. …kind of like a giraff. Have you seen what they do?”

 Daisy denied. MC was already playing a video of a giraff using its lips, and loong, sticky toung to catch things and eat them.

 “it probably didn’t have a trumpet. Nor a long tounge, but there was definetly something important on its nose, wich it probably used for eating and for singing, kinda like cows do, and maybe it was colorful, or diferent between males and females…”

“wooow! It is a big feature, why they don’t use it in movies?”

“see, it is kind of risky, to design such an extrange animal, so they play it easy and just cover the skull with skin. And that’s not all”

“there is more!?”

“this animals had spikes all over their tails, wich have been found incrusted in the skull of predators like the T-rex”

“Wooah!”

 “Don’t feel left out” Amanda said to Brian, seeing that the poor guy needed some company “he can’t help it, loves the stuff. Just make sure you can handle it before letting him anywere near the museum”

“uh… ok”

“And whatever you do, never ask about dinosaurs with feathers” she wispered this “You will never hear the end of it”