#god may help the weak but I am thriving already thank you I do not need divine hands

[l-gummy-l]

How many fandoms are in my head now?

Four. My mind had mastered multitasking. Hell, there's still a bit of my favorite shit from another fandom so count it as FOUR AND A HALF

THERE'S A REASON WHY THIS SO CALLED BITCH IN MY BRAIN DOESN'T LET ME SLUMBER IN PEACE

(I sincerely don't know what happened in the tags 🙏 )

[fangirlfics]

Trouble Sleeping (Loki x reader)

I swear if this deletes for a third time Im gonna cry 

KINDA A SLOW BURN BOIS

also I didn’t finish reading it over for mistakes bc I’m lazy 

summary: y/n and Loki used to be very close friends and sometimes when she had bad nightmares he’d use his magic to calm her mind, a few years have passed and they’ve grown apart. Her nightmares come back and hesitantly she seeks Loki’s help again 

word count: 3,592 wahahahaha

y/n leaned over one of the balconies that overlooked the kingdom’s private garden. The weather was perfect, the temperature ideal, sky blue, and the plants were all thriving feet below her. Despite the scenery however y/n’s attention was fixated elsewhere. 

Down in the depths of the garden, propped up on one of the fancy golden benches was the youngest Asgardian prince-Loki. His dark raven hair was combed back as he turned to the next page in his novel, the cover matching the shade of green displayed on his clothes. y/n couldn’t help but sigh as she watched the handsome prince, they had once had an unbreakable bond. It was always Loki and y/n-best friends, one wouldn’t be seen without the other. But somewhere among their late teenage years, Loki had become more cold and distant towards y/n-leaving her alone in the giant halls of the castle to wander alone. That’s when her and Thor’s relationship grew stronger-she had always been friends with the God of Thunder but after her and Loki’s relationship crumbled to pieces he was there to cheer her up. 

“Oh there you are!” Thor’s voice boomed-pulling y/n from her daydream. y/n glanced once more at Loki before turning her attention to her tall friend. “I was looking for you!” He beamed. 

“What can I do for you, your highness?” y/n asked with a playful voice.

Thor smiled, putting his hands together before continuing, “I was hoping that you would join me and-” his words faded as he glanced down to the gardens and caught sight of Loki. y/n’s attention soon turned to the railing in front of her as she traced her fingers along it’s smooth surface. “You still watch him.” Thor told her, his normally enthusiastic voice was now dry and serious. “How long have you been thinking of him?”

y/n furrowed her eyebrows, playing with her fingers. “I never stopped.” She confessed, “I know it’s foolish but I can’t help it, I..miss him more than I can even begin to explain.”

Thor was silent as he watched the girl glance back down at the gardens then to the sky. “Let’s go...horseback riding.” He suggested, getting y/n attention. “To lift your spirits, we can go with Sif a-”

“No.“ y/n blurted out, “nobody else-I don’t want to embarrass myself again by falling off my horse.“

Thor chuckled, “nobody is going to think low of you-” he looked at y/n once more sensing her silent plea ”very well then, just us.” He agreed, making her smile.

“Thank you.” She laughed, giving him a hug. It caught Thor by surprise but he then loosely wrapped his arms around y/n in return. “Thank you for everything,” y/n whispered, “really, I don’t know what’d I’d do without you. I’m blessed to have a friend like you.”

“Of course.” 

Neither of the two friends noticed that down in the gardens Loki clenched his jaw, snapping his book shut and silently retreated to his room-they also didn’t notice the pair of blue eyes staring through the window at them, when they returned laughing on horseback. 

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 There was fire everywhere, thick black smoke made it impossible for her to breath. She was choking-desperate for air. She fell to the ground as the fire closed in quickly-it’s heat trapping her in the room. There was no hope, no help was coming and it was impossible to escape, with a loud crack the ceiling caved in leaving her trapped screaming out as the furious flames burned her alive. 

y/n woke up with a start, beads of sweat lined her forehead although her room was cool and she found that her hands were shaking. Realizing it was just a dream she lied back down, covering her face with her hands as she tried desperately to fall back asleep. She got no more sleep that night.

The same thing happened again in the coming days and three days later while in training, y/n who was running on less than four hours of sleep was doing rather well. In one quick movement she jumped up-kicking the sword right out of Fandral’s grip. 

“Very good!” Volstagg commented from across the room.

“Yes.” Fandral agreed, “show me that move and I’ll show you some of mine.” He winked.

“Just give me a time and place.” y/n responded playfully, earning a laugh. 

“Impressive.” Fandral commented at her response. (she normally responded to his joke flirting with an eye roll) 

“Yes impressive.” Loki commented from behind Fandral. “That y/n can apparently chase after two men at once.” He said this while staring casually at Thor. Sif went stiff inder the tension and Thor opened his mouth but y/n spoke first.

“I’m sorry?” 

“Well by the looks of it, you can’t seem to decide between Thor and-” 

“Brother that’s enough.” Thor warned, taking a step forward.

“I’m just putting out a warning, you do know what they say about these sort of things.” Loki remarked, not meeting her eyes.

“You know full well that I am not chasing after anyone.” y/n said, growing aggravated. 

“It sure seems that way.”He then opened the door to the room and left.

“You know what?” y/n responded, dropping her sword to the ground with a loud clang “I am tired of this.”

 “y/n I think it best if you ignore him.” Sif spoke up, “nobody is accusing you of anything, we all know you aren’t that sort of person-”

“Thank you Sif, but I am not taking this.“ y/n exited the room in pursuit of Loki, who was a few paces ahead of her walking calmly. 

“I don’t like being followed.“ He simply called out to her, because his room was only about a minute walk away from the training room he reached it fairly quickly.

“What is your problem?“ y/n asked him, putting her foot in between the door and it’s frame as Loki was about to shut it.

“I don’t have a problem, now if you’d excuse me I’d like you to leave me alone.“ 

 “Then leave me alone.” She huffed, “hold your silvertongue and stop acting as if you’re above me because you’re not.”

“Is that all?“ He asked her calmly, “you’re done with your childish tantrum?” 

“Oh you are so-“ y/n narrowed her eyes.

“So what?“ Loki asked with an eye roll.

“Terrible.“ y/n blurted, earning a cold laugh from the God of Mischief.

“So I’ve been told.“ He stated bored.

“No, I mean you’re really terrible and for so many reasons.”

“Such as?“  

“You want a list?“ y/n asked with a bitter laugh, “ok well you think you’re better than everyone and you’re not, you poke fun at other people because it’s amusing to you and-and everyone-I mean everyone thinks that you’re a snake, ever since we were younger, and I can’t believe I’m just now realizing that..they’re probably right.“ He swallowed hard furrowing his eyebrows, “you used to be my best friend Loki, I’d defend you from people’s accusations when you weren’t around and..I wasted my time because you are everything people say you are and worst.“ She saw the look in his eye, she hurt him-good now he understood how it felt. 

Loki glanced away-looking down at the girl again. “Is that all?” He asked, trying desperately to remain collected. y/n scoffed. “You may think you know me but I know you much more, don’t forget, I’ve been inside your head. People may think I’m a bad person but I can live with that, you on the other hand can’t stand the fact that someone might not like you, so much so that you’ll break down about it. You’re a weak fighter, you’re not as clever or as witty as you seem to think, and frankly I don’t understand the fascination Thor seems to have with you, you’re nothing special.”  

y/n pulled her foot from the doorway. What happened to us? She was about to cry and she did not want him seeing that. “Is that all?” She asked, reciting his previous question.

“Yes.“ He spat coldly. 

“Good.“ She turned to walk away as Loki stayed in his place trying to keep the impression that he didn’t care.

Late at night y/n tossed and turned in her bed, trying to fall asleep after waking up from a particularly realistic dream-she had thought that by laying still she’d trick her body into falling asleep but that didn’t happen. She knew that she had been able to power through the last few days with almost no sleep-but she’d certainly crash if she didn’t get any sleep soon. The thought of making a visit to Loki for help came to her mind, but she really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she wanted/needed his help. Screw it. She thought after another couple of hours, her clock read 2:35 as she swung her legs over her bed and slipped on her slippers and robe. 

The halls were dark and empty except for the occasional guards, which she was careful to avoid (she didn’t want to raise any suspicion). Thank God her room was only a three minute walk from Loki’s. It was once she was already in front of Loki’s door that she started getting second thoughts, but she was there already and the worst that could happen was getting the door slammed in her face or no answer. She raised her cold knuckle, letting it hover over the door’s fine wood before knocking. “It’s y/n..” She announced barely above a whisper, “trust me I really don’t want to ask for your help but I see no other option an-”

The door opened a small crack. “you do realize what time it is, right?” Loki’s annoyed voice asked-he didn’t sound like he had just woken up, maybe he was having trouble sleeping also.

“I know.” At her response Loki opened the door wider, revealing himself in a pair of emerald colored pajamas. “Look I know-” at the sound of approaching footsteps (guards) Loki stepped aside, giving her a cue to get in. She did, turning to face him one he closed the door again-his back facing the door he put his hands on his hips.

“What do you want?”

“I can’t sleep.” She said sheepishly, “I just-I’m getting the same nightmares again and I thought that maybe just this once you could, you know..” She put hands up, wiggling her fingers to imitate magic.

Loki rolled his eyes, “first off that’s not at all how magic looks, second why should I help you?”

“Just this once!“ y/n practically begged, “please. I’ve have not been sleeping at all I just need one hour. I won’t make you sleep on my couch like I did when we were younger, you can just...alter my thoughts or something and I’ll leave and-” 

“Fine.“ Loki agreed, grumpily. He walked back over to his bed, getting in between the covers on the left side. “Well?“ He asked when she stared blankly at him. He rolled his eyes again, “Obviously if you go back to your room I won’t be able to sense when I have to alter your thoughts and you’ll just come back to make a racket when you have another nightmare.“ y/n nodded slowly, making her way to the right side of the bed. “Besides it’s a big bed, just stay on that side-away from me.” She laid down, hesitant at first as she tightened her robe around herself. Loki leaned over, placing a finger and thumb over her temples to enter her mind. 

When she woke up she was in the same exact position that she was in when she went to bed and Loki was standing directly above her looking annoyed once again. It was still dark outside as he looked down at her from where he stood. “It’s about time, I’ve been trying to wake you up for the last two minutes.”

“What time is it?“

“6:05..the castles about to start waking up, you should leave before more people get uo to avoid being seen.“ y/n nodded in agreement. 

“Ok“ she walked to his door, turning to watch as he laid back down in his bed. “And Loki..“

“What?“ He sighed.

“Thank you.“ She said softly, leaving the room right after. Loki was left surprised.

“Look I know I said just once-” y/n whispered that night outside of Loki’s door, it was past 2 a.m. again, but surprisingly Loki let her in again.

“The faster you stop pestering me, the better.“ Loki told her harshly. He had woken her up at 6 a.m. again like he had done the the last time. The time after that Loki woke her up at 7 and the time after that she had woken up past 8 to see Loki sitting in a chair some feet from her sharpening his knives-when she had asked him why he hadn’t woken her up he had simply reminded that he could just teleport her back to her room, that way nobody would know she had spent the night there.

Flash forward a month later, y/n tiptoed to Loki’s room in her nightgown again, the nights were getting hotter which had led to her to leave her robe behind. When she had reached Loki’s room she didn’t need to knock, since he now left it unlocked for her. 

Once she laid down on the right side of the bed (more towards the middle now rather than all the way on the edge) Loki laid down about a foot from her. They didn’t go to bed right then however, since they had formed a habit of talking before falling asleep. “Have you been sleeping better?” Loki asked the girl beside him.

“yes.” 

“Good...”

y/n rolled onto her side to face Loki, “Thank you again.” He nodded. “You know for someone who hates me, you’re actually quite kind to me.” The corner of Loki’s mouth folded up slightly,

“I don’t hate you...” He rolled over onto his side to face her, “but what I do hate-“ he then had explained the entire plot of a book just to express his hatred for one detail in it. 

y/n woke up in the middle of the night with a start, her nightmares had came back. As it turned out Loki wasn’t in the room but when he got back with a glass of water he noticed she was off right away. “I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, sitting beside her, “I was just-I didn’t think-”   

“I know, it’s fine.“ y/n told him, but his hand was still on her shoulder and his blue eyes still held worry in them. “I’m just-I’m going back to bed...“ Loki nodded, watching as she laid down again. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?“ She nodded.

As she began drifting off she felt Loki take her hand in his. Later on in the night y/n woke up randomly, but she wasn’t facing Loki anymore-instead she was facing his dim window, she felt warm but not from the covers and to her surprise she realized that the prince’s arm was around her waist, keeping her close. Their legs were tangled mess at the bottom of the bed and she could hear his slow breathing as he slept peacefully. She looked around slowly, trying to figure out a way to move away to avoid the embarrassment when he wakes up-but just as she began to shift around she heard him speak up. “What time is it?” up. 

“Sorry...” She apologized growing red, “I don’t know how-“  

“It’s fine.“ She heard Loki whisper. 

“It is?“

“This is quite comfortable.“ He whispered again, then he moved slightly closer-resting his head on her shoulder and he fell asleep again-she assumed that he was half awake and didn’t fully process what had happened. She decided it didn’t matter and fell asleep again, after all he wasn’t wrong-it was comfortable.  

There was a loud noise that woke y/n right up, making her jump. Now she realized that she was facing Loki again, her arms were wrapped around his neck like in a hug, his head was nuzzled in the crook of her neck-their legs still a tangled mess. Bang! Bang! There it was again, she lifted her head, looking towards the door as it came again-bang! Bang! 

“Loki” She whispered, gently shaking his sleeping form. He ignored it, pulling her closer in response instead. “Loki, someone’s at the door.” She whispered, trying not to laugh. He sighed looking up towards his door.

“Just ignore it, they’ll go away it’s probably a servant or-”

“Loki!” Thor’s voice came from the other side of the door, “Loki, I know you’re in there! Open the door.” Loki rolled his eyes, standing up to make his way towards the door. 

He opened the door a few inches, “what do you want?” He hissed.

“I-” Thor paused, “are wearing your nightwear?”

“Why is that of any importance-what do you want?”

“er, Loki is there someone in there with you?“ Thor asked. 

y/n held her breath, afraid that somehow Thor would hear her from the doorway. “I-no!” Loki snapped, “What are you talking about?”

“Alright, alright I apologize. I’m here to ask if you have seen y/n? I’ve been searching for her, she’s normally turned up somewhere at this time it’s past 10.” 

“No I don’t know where she is, I haven’t seen her. Check the garden, she’s most likely wandering around there.“ He shut the door, turning back to y/n. 

“Past 10?“ y/n asked, covering her mouth, “I should’ve been awake two hours ago.” Loki shrugged. “Can you teleport me back to my room, I should go to the gardens since Thor’s looking for me.” Loki looked at the ground with an unfamiliar look in his eyes before nodding. “Thank you.”

The girl had spent more time with Thor training than she had expected that day, leading her to take an extra long shower at night to get clean. She hadn’t realized until she looked at her clock that it was past 10-normally she’d already be at Loki’s room by now. Quickly she dried her hair and changed into her nightwear. 

She was about to leave and opened her door and unexpectedly Loki was there with his hand raised looking like he was about to knock. They stared at each other for a moment before she spoke up, “Loki? What are you doing here?” 

He glanced to the side, not wanting to meet here eyes as she awaited his response, “I thought..” he said glancing at the ground before back to her, regaining his composure “that you-“

“Weren’t coming?“ She finished for him, he nodded.

“So I came to see if you were ok, I’ll leave.“

“Wait, no.“ She told him, grabbing his wrist and taking him by surprise, “I was just coming it was just taking me longer, but you can sleep here if you want since you’re already here...?” He nodded in agreement, stepping into her room.

He settled himself into the bed, opening his arms for her to crawl into which she quickly did. The two laid there for a moment, listening to the quietness as Loki slowly brushed through her hair with his fingers.      

“remember the other day when I said that you were terrible?“ y/n suddenly asked, getting Loki’s attention. He stopped running his fingers through her hair. 

“Yes, why do you ask?“ He responded cautiously. 

“I was just mad at you. I’m sorry.“

He took a moment to think to himself, “I didn’t mean what I said either."

“Can I ask you something?” y/n asked after a while later.

“What?”

“Why did you push me away?” She asked, shifting herself to meet his eyes.

Loki sighed-only it wasn’t from being aggravated this time. He backed up a few inches from y/n-staring straight up at the ceiling. “It’s because..”

“Because what?”

“I had noticed that you and Thor were becoming closer and decided to..abandon you before you did me. I thought it’d hurt less that way.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, everyone always seems to choose Thor over me, I just assumed you would, in time, do the same.“ He confessed, still not meeting her gaze. 

“Loki...“ she set her hand on his shoulder waiting for him to look at her. “I would never abandon you for Thor, sure Thor is my friend but so is Fandral, so is Volstagg, so is Sif and I’m not abandoning anyone for them.“

He nodded.

“And tonight..“ y/n spoke up again, “when you thought I wasn’t coming-“

“I assumed you wouldn’t need me anymore, especially after you had spent so much time with Thor.“

“Loki!“

“What?“

“Don’t be like that!“ y/n told him, sitting up, “I do need you! I’ll always need you, I need you don’ t doubt that, and not just because of stupid nightmares, because I care for you and I love you, ok?”

Loki smiled to himself, “you love me?“

“Yes you stupid-“ she stopped talking because Loki had leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss, taking no time to hesitate she leaned into him further deepening the kiss. After about a minute they pulled apart-resting their foreheads together. 

“I love you too.“

[unreachablevoice]

Wear Your Heart On Your Wrist And Together, We’ll Soar To The Sky

eyooo hewe ish thee wong– okay I'll stop *ahem* here is the long awaited Chapter 3 of WYH yay! I would've posted sooner but a lot of fics and mangas/manhwas kept tempting me and I am but a weak man. I also just witnessed a birth of a new favorite ship of mine called DokJin, a crossover ship between orv and sl featuring KDJ and SJW and I want more.

Anyways hope you enjoy! :D

Warning: Swearing and cuss words may be present. Please read with caution, thank you!

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Maribat Master List

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Chapter Three – Tugging At Your Heartstrings

A few days have passed, a long hour of flight has been survived, and Marinette still honestly couldn’t believe that they have now arrived in Gotham City. Although, she'd be lying if she said it didn’t make her feel excited.

Just imagine all of the designs and clothes she could make out of their hotel’s structure alone! Really, coming to Gotham was, surprisingly, a good idea! Why didn’t she ever think about it before?

“Gotham is so full of Misfortune and Destruction; I'm glad that you’re thriving, Marinette!” Her red Kwami looks at her from her purse and smiles.

“Is the reason why I'm thriving because I’m a ‘Miracle Soul’ or however you call it?” The ravenette smiles back at her Kwami’s small yet eager nod.

Tikki had said that she was not just a True Miraculous Holder—or, as it’s more commonly known for the Guardians, a Héshi, someone who is attuned and perfect for a specific type of Miraculous—like the rest of her friends but she was also a Miracle Soul. The small Kwami explained that a Miracle Soul is a Soul that's one of a kind; a Soul like no other. It is a Soul that's carefully crafted by God Himself or as all of the Kwamis call Him, The Creator, and is the only one He ever created. Which is why such a Soul only reincarnates a hundred years after every death and can never vanish.

She had heard from the Kwamis’ various stories that The Creator is the one who started everything. The one who created them, the Kwamis, and the whole universe. And since the Kwamis are practically His children, not only are Miraculous Holders wielding such powerful artifacts that possess god-like magic, but they are also in charge of tiny gods. Which means that Marinette and her friends are currently looking after a bunch of two-inch gods all on their own right at the moment. Not that she’s complaining, though. She’s having loads of fun doing so!

Marinette lets out a contemplative hum. Well, she is glad that it means her bond with Tikki and the other Kwamis are strong. She'd hate to think if she didn’t have some sort of relationship with the Kwamis she practically thought of as family already.

“Bug!” a familiar voice calls out to her as a pair of hands grab her arm. “Stop spacing around, you’re going to get left behind!” the hands—who she now recognized as Adrien’s—proceed to drag her over to what looks like the entrance of the hotel, without letting out so much as a word from her.

“Wait!” Marinette exclaims. “My luggage! I still haven’t—!”

“Don’t worry, Kim’s already got it covered.” The blonde briefly looks back at her and smiles before looking at the front again as he drags her over to their classmates who are currently huddled over to the side with Mme. Mendeleiev trying to calm them down, while Mme. Bustier talks to an unenthusiastic-looking receptionist.

As soon as Mme. Bustier sees them, she quickly waves them over to catch their attention. Not that they didn’t already see them, though.

“Marinette! Adrien! Thank goodness, you’re here!” She smiles at them as they reach her side and pulls at Marinette’s arm and faces her to the receptionist. “Can you please help me converse with this man? I’m still not fully in-depth with speaking in English, so we can’t quite communicate smoothly.”

“Maybe I can help?” Adrien butts in and points at himself. “I can speak English pretty well so maybe I could—”

“Adrien~!” a shrilly voice cuts him off as a thudding of feet were heard. “Come with us! Just let Marinette do all the talking.” As if on cue, Lila wraps her arms around Adrien’s and tries to pull him. Keyword being “try”.

The blonde stares at her, throwing her an icy glare while keeping his feet glued onto the floor. “No,” he simply says and harshly shakes her hand off of his arm.

“No?” Marinette sees Lila’s hands ball into fists as she tries to smoothen her expression instead of outwardly glaring. “What do you mean ‘No’?” Her eyes narrow for a fraction that if it weren’t for the ravenette’s trained eye, she wouldn’t even be able to notice it.

“I mean, I don’t want to go with you. Not when I know I can assist my friend.” Adrien’s tone takes a sharper turn as he and the brunette have a one-on-one stare off competition.

“Yeah, and why would he even come with you?” Chloé, along with their other friends, come up behind Adrien and rests her elbow on his shoulder as she looks at Lila from head to toe. “You’re not even friends, remember?”

At the other blonde’s tone, Lila coils back as her face twists into a scowl. Marinette vaguely remembers Adrien’s declaration of war to the brunette that day. She wasn’t sure why but Adrien just suddenly reared back from Lila that time, as if she burned him, and had loudly proclaimed that if she ever goes near him and his friends (he specifically mentioned Marinette) ever again, he will make sure that she will be blacklisted from every modeling company/magazine there is.

Marinette was shocked at that; she knew that Lila was somehow on Adrien’s Father’s pocket so she wasn’t sure how to react on him just blatantly saying he basically hates her. What if Adrien gets pulled out from school? What if Adrien’s not allowed to hang out with them anymore because of that stunt he just pulled? (Even though it was pretty satisfying to see how Lila’s face turned sour).

Surprisingly enough, none of what she feared happened. Adrien was still attending the school the next day and she heard that his father didn’t even bat an eye with Adrien asking to cut ties with the Italian. Turns out, the older Agreste had been planning to do so for a long time already. Adrien complaining to him about who knows what was just the icing to the cake. It was even funny how Lila had basically screamed when she was given a dismissal note from the Gabriel brand the next day; Marinette could barely contain her laughs.

“Pfft—!” The ravenette suppresses her laugh and disguises it with a cough instead. Curse her and her mind for remembering how Lila looked like a malnourished monkey who sucked on lemon for the first time! “It’s all right, Adrien, just go with Chloé. I can handle this.” she calmly smiles at the two blondes, completely ignoring the fuming brunette in the background.

Marinette twirls around and faces the receptionist, secretly smiling as she hears the Italian's stomps fade away. “Sorry about that, Monsieur,” she says in perfect English and gives him her best customer smile, she swears she could even kind of see the guy brighten a little. Wonder why, though?

“It’s all right. Now, how may I help you?” the receptionist asks as he also gives her a smile of his own. One point to her for making a stranger smile! She feels a strange sense of pride surge within her, something about finally seeing a smile on someone’s face here in this unusually dark and edgy city felt somewhat rewarding.

“Oh, uh, we’re the class from France who won the school trip from Wayne Enterprises,” she replies. She remembers the response email sent to her saying that she should just state who they are and where they're from and the staff will immediately understand what she’s talking about since Wayne Enterprises basically own the hotel they were assigned in staying at.

The thought really reminds her of how awfully rich and big-of-a-deal their trip’s sponsor is, that it makes her feel like a small ant in a bustling city. Which is really not that far behind since she’s literally just a five-foot-two teenager in a city somewhere in America.

“Oh, then, I suppose a belated welcome to Gotham City is in order.” He smiles at her again and shuffles a few papers in his desk. “Well, congratulations for winning the contest. Your submission was very good, I guarantee it since everyone read it.” The receptionist piles what seems like their room keys on the desk and pushes it in front of her. “Here you go. And, I hope you enjoy your stay here in Gotham. Well, as much as you can in a place filled with crime so much that there’s news about five bombings each day!” he exclaims as though he had not just scared the life out of her. She waves the thought away and smiles blindingly at him as he hands her eight room keys, which she immediately thanked the receptionist for, and she passes them over to Mme. Bustier.

“Thank you, Marinette.” The redhead smiles at her and begins to distribute their keys.

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Marinette ended up rooming with Juleka. Which is not entirely the worse since being alone with the shy girl did give her a sense of calmness just like how her brother did because they’re both so quiet at times. The only problem is, unlike their other classmates who look at her with disappointment and frowns, the brunette only stares at her impassively. Which sometimes unnerves her.

Letting out a soft sigh, she brings her suitcase over to her side of the room and begins taking out her items one by one. Putting her clothes into the other half of the walk-in closet that they were given and arranging her necessities on top of the nightstand beside her bed, all the while ignoring the look Juleka was giving her (whatever that means).

Just as she was about to head out to meet the class down the lobby, the ravenette hears a small hum coming from the goth, calling her attention.

“Yes?” She swerves around to look at the taller girl without letting go of the doorknob.

“Can-Can we talk? Before we, um, go and meet the class?” The shy girl avoids eye contact and quietly tugs at her bangs, showing signs of discomfort and anxiety that Marinette almost wanted to go over to the girl and pat her shoulder and comfort her, telling her that everything will be okay. But then, she remembers that they weren't really that close to have that talk; not after Lila came, that is.

“Um, sure.” She reluctantly releases the doorknob and moves closer to the girl. “What did you want to talk about?” She smiles to at least soothe the goth’s nerves.

“I, uh—” Juleka rubs her arms and looks down at her feet. “I wanted to say sorry.”

Marinette blinks and wonders if she heard the girl correctly; she even pinches herself a little to see if she was dreaming. But no, she did not wake up from whatever she was in and she actually did hear the brunette right.

“W-What?”

The girl in front of her raises her head and finally meets her eyes. Her vermillion orbs look determined that Marinette's own bluebells widen in mild shock. This look that Juleka was sporting looks and even feels different; it was like she finally had this little push to her back to finally have courage to speak to others. And Marinette couldn't help but feel proud.

The ravenette briefly shakes her head to rid of her thoughts. Seriously, Juleka is talking to her for Kwami’s sake! Stop wandering around, mind!

“I want to apologize,” Juleka says and catches her attention once more. “For pushing you away and for ignoring you,” she admits and looks back down at her feet again. “It wasn’t right for us—for me—to ignore your opinion and not hear you out. Especially when you’ve always been there to listen to my problems. I-I've been looking up what Lila’s been saying for the past few weeks. B-Because I thought that if you had something to say about her claims, there must be a reason why.”

This time, her eyes widen even more, so much so that it probably looked comical. Her eyebrows disappear into her bangs and she opens and closes her mouth like a fish. Did-Did she really hear that correctly?! No one had bothered to fact-check her claims (well, except her friends) before, so why now?

Marinette feels her own mouth slowly curve into a frown and bites her lip in retaliation. She doesn't want to get angry at the girl, especially since she was trying for reconciliation. But she still feels bitter at her—their—actions. Why is she only seeing the wrong now? Why didn't she try to look into what Lila was saying the first time? Why is she only apologizing now when Marinette finally learned to accept the state that their friendship was in? Why now? Why only now when she'd finally stopped questioning herself if she had done something wrong? If it was her fault that they snubbed her? Why now? Why? Why? Why? Why—Why did they even leave her?

“Why are you only doing this now?” She looks away from the brunette and rubs her arms in a form of comfort to herself, trying not to fall into the pit that was pulling her. She hates getting angry, or even feeling negative in general—perks of being held hostage by a psychopath who loves butterflies, so much so that he uses them as objects that possess people for him to use as toys—because it drains her, both emotionally and physically.

“Because—!” Juleka cuts herself off and sports a hesitant and uncertain look on her face, and Marinette almost barks out a laugh at how incredulous the situation was. She was the one looking scared? She was the one hurt? How funny, the last time Marinette heard, she was the one being shunned and ignored by others.

The ravenette sighs and shakes her head. “Mmes. Bustier and Mendeleiev must be waiting for us, let's just talk later.” She opens the door and goes out, leaving the goth no room for discussion.

Outside their hotel room, she lets out a breath and feels her nails dig into the palm of her hands, shaking off the bitter feeling blooming in her chest as she begins her walk towards the elevator.

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Since they left on Friday, the first activity in their itinerary doesn’t start until Monday. Meaning: they have two days to shake away their jet lag (if they have any) and to be more familiar with Gotham (but that doesn’t mean they’re allowed to roam the city without supervision, okay, are you crazy?). And right now, Marinette was surrounded by her wayward friends, talking about dares and percentages and video games and music and let's not forget about the signature “Ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous!” from one Chloé Bourgeois, while waiting for their chaperones to finish doing headcount because they were about to go out to eat an early dinner (they were given a reservation on some fancy restaurant by their sponsor as a Welcome to Gotham! thingy). Damn that’s a long sentence... Anyways,

Marinette could see in her peripheral vision how Juleka kept trying to make eye contact with her but she doesn’t pay her any attention. If the ravenette says they’ll talk later, then they’ll talk later and that’s final. She doesn’t want to ruin her night—well, it might be later, when their “talk” finally happens, but that’s a problem for future Marinette—just because she decided to spill all the icky mush inside her heart out to the goth.

Shaking her head, she lines behind Adrien as Mmes. Mendeleiev and Bustier usher them to their designated bus. Her eyes roam around her surroundings as she lets her friends’ chatter become background noise; the buildings’ structures already creating an image of dresses in her head, ones that she’ll write down inside her sketchbook as soon as she sits down on the bus.

Just as she was about to finish the fifth dress shirt on her mind, a familiar tingling feeling pokes her wrist. A warm feeling wraps around her hand and it urges her to look down. And nothing in this world or in any other universe could prepare her for what she was seeing.

The same, familiar red string with gold lights that she once saw the night before they left for Gotham binds her right hand and her Heart glows a soft gold once more. She watches as a thin, red string slowly forms a line, rushing in between crowds and passing through the people of Gotham that are walking on with their lives. She lets out a sigh—or was it a gasp? —and watches as the string glows a soft red.

Marinette simply stares and it takes her breath away. Any previous sound of chatter dies down and the people around her blurs into the background; and all she could see is the bright, red string that seemed to call upon her, all she could hear are the shaky breaths she huffs out of her mouth. It was like she and the string (and possibly the other person at the end of the said string) were the only ones that existed right at that very moment, that nothing else matters in this world but them and them alone.

She feels the string make an experimental tug. One, two, and for the third time, she takes a step forward. Holding her breath as she feels her feet tremble, she tries to looks pass the crowd in front of her; she steps on the tip of her toes and tries to look over to the other side. Just a bit more, a bit more, and she’ll finally see her Soulmate. Just a bit more, please. They’re right there. The only thing separating them is this hoard of people. Please.

She feels her breath grow quicker with anticipation and she tries not to sob with utter joy at the thought of finally meeting her Soulmate.

Just a bit more.

Slowly but surely, the crowd starts to disperse one by one and holes start to form at the supposed “wall” that separates her and her Soulmate. She takes a step, and another, as more people start to move, and she could almost see the buildings that they blocked her view from. She’s almost there. She’s so close, she could almost jump for joy.

Only to be yanked back by a sudden force.

“Ack!” she shrieks as arms link around her own and drag her away. She looks at her captor and all she sees are familiar emerald eyes accompanied by sunshine blonde hair and a soft smile.

“Let’s go. We wouldn’t want to be left behind now, would we?”

She simply stares at the blonde and, instead of giving him an answer, she looks back towards the apparent direction of her Soulmate; finding the string gone, leaving behind only a warm, tingling feeling on her wrist.

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Maribat Master List

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asdfgfdsdf istg the last bit part with Adrien was supposed to be better but because my brain decided to malfunction right at the time that I was going to write it... it now became that blurb ughhh

N E Ways that's that. I hope you enjoyed it and the next chapter won't probably come out until another week or so, so if you're impatient (like me)

Go become a Patron if you want to have early access to different updates! :)

TAGLIST: (and here comes the karma of not posting for a while) (also I think this is now CLOSED??? I dunno if it'll let me add more to the tags so we'll see) (also also, there's at least 3??? 4??? 5?????? people whose tags won't work I'm sorry :(()

@mochegato @kris-pines04 @myazael @our-preciousss @ironspiderstark @pawsitivelymiraculous @fantasyislive @i-wanna-go-to-outerspace @gingerdaile @whydoexamsexist @rebecarojas07 @fertileleaf @mewwitch @beautiful-disasters-sunshine @naimena @ertyzeta @mystery-5-5 @wannajointhecrabcult @startouchedqueen1318 @animegirlweeb @clumsy-owl-4178 @theg0ddesspersephone @tomanyfamdomsonmymind @queenmj @azrael13 @marinettepotterandplagg @iz-bell-saiah @lilithseraphina @misslenamooney @alyssadeliv @waywardpeachgardenshark @consumeconstantly @notmycupoftea26 @lilyreadbooks12 @synnesstra @ivymala07 @iamablinkmarvelarmy @caseoftheblues @2confused-2doanything @sassakitty @certifiedbidisaster @prudencerika @ilovefluffbutsmutisalsogreat @miraculousl4dybug @justanotherfanficlovinbitch @maggiecc @nerdofallgeeks @enternalempires @ultimatetornshipper @ihavehomeworkbutistillhere @maybe-nonsense @dawnwave16

[fated-imaginings]

Cu Chulainn Alter With An Overly Innocent/Childish Master

- At first, he finds Master’s child-like nature to be a glaring, exasperating weakness. He attempts to “snap them out of it” by being especially cold and blunt with them. Death threats count as protection if they’re for someone’s personal growth, right?

- No, Cu. No they do not.

- To Master’s credit, they handle his offhanded comments about ending them pretty well. Turns out dealing with all of the OTHER intimidating Servants in Chaldea has given them tougher skin than he expected.

- At first he mistakes their calmness for naivete, but after watching them deal with Servants like Archer Gilgamesh, Heracles, and so on without batting an eye, he has to (begrudgingly) admit that they might know what they’re doing after all.

- This inkling that they are indeed competent solidifies come the first time he fights an enemy Servant under their command. He didn’t expect them to be so calm, or to think so quickly on their feet. The loud cheer and puppy-like jump into the air come the end of the fight was more expected, though. 

- The more time Master spends bonding with him and the more battles he fights with them, the more his view shifts from “this idiot is going to get us killed” to “ah fuck, I guess I have to protect this brilliant idiot now”.

- If he sees Master running obliviously towards danger, he’ll catch them by the back of the collar and make like a mother cat by setting them behind him before going to deal with it.

- He upgrades from death threats to chiding. It happens on a near daily basis and can easily come off as criticism, but Master sees through him. He’ll growl and grumble when they earnestly thank him for his concern/advice, but he’s secretly pleased that they’re listening to him. 

- (Even if he doubts it sometimes.)

- He won’t get overprotective, though. He knows Master can handle themself, and acting like they can’t would just be a genuine insult as far as he’s concerned.

- That being said, he can and will throw himself between Master and any oncoming attacks that slip past Mash’s shield from now on, so they better be ready to deal with that when the time comes.

BONUS INJURED MASTER HCs (Because I know we all thrive off of protective Servants)

- If Master somehow manages to get injured during a mission, even mildly, he’ll grouse at them hardcore if they neglect to heal themself in favor of their Servants. The only exception being where they need to prioritize Servants’ health in order to make it out of a tough fight.        - “We’re built tough, but if you go, we all do. Heal yourself already, idiot.”

- Now if Master gets seriously injured, oh boy. Cu will immediately destroy whatever did it, keeping himself between them and any threats the whole while. He is still the Hound of Ulster, after all. He may be an alter, a ‘fake’, but those protective instincts run deep regardless of how hard it was to unlock them.

- If any other Servants on the team can use healing magic, you bet he’ll immediately be snapping at them to help Master. He acts like it would just be a huge inconvenience for them to bite it now, but if you pay close attention, he’s worried.        - He does not know how to handle worry.

- If he has to carry Master to safety, he will. If he has to threaten everything Dr. Roman holds dear to get him to Rayshift them back home, he absolutely will.

- Regardless, once Master’s been treated, they better be ready for the chiding of a lifetime. ‘You almost died, idiot! Did you forget what’s at stake? What were you even thinking, getting into the line of fire like that? You’re too weak to be taking hits from anything, gods, why do you think you even HAVE him on your team?’        - (”Am I a joke to you?”)

- Apologies will get Master nowhere. Promises to be more careful will inspire doubt the likes of which Chaldea has never seen. A smile and genuine appreciation for his concern will disarm Cu and tip his worried snapping into awkward grumbling and huffs.

- He’ll still call them stupid and mutter warnings/berating comments, but it’s clear at this point that he just doesn’t know how to deal with actually caring about someone, and this is all his way of showing that care.

- Total disbelief when Master pets his head and brightly thanks him for protecting them, but he’ll allow it...just this once.        - (Spoiler alert, it isn’t just this once.)           - (Don’t worry about it though, his tail tries wagging for a reason.)

[exodusmc]

Trouble

Genre: Roommate au, frenemies to lovers, smut

Words:  2591

Paring: Sehun x reader

Warning!: Drinking, mentions of fighting, unprotected sex, fingering, slight pet naming, denied orgasm, making out, hickeys.

a/n:  I’m planning to write a roommate au for all exo members, like in parts but it won't necessarily  be dependent on each other. I don't know if it make sense. :)  

Gif is not mine 

Annoying. He was so annoying. The tall man stared down at you a giant smirk, fingers holding a cup with who knows what. Straight black eyebrows pointed down, complexion slightly more pale than usually due to him being drunk. 

“Sehun, what the fuck?”a snicker left him, body swaying as he leaned forward, reeking of alcohol and smoke. 

You were currently standing in the doorway to some guy’s house, burning holes in your roommate. Chanyeol had called you and asked you to get the younger home or else he would get beaten up, but you were a little late. His raven hair laid neatly even with the evidence of a fight, left cheek swelling. People from inside the house glanced at the two of you, the popular troubled boy and the nice girl dressed in a sleeping shirt and pants. You were fuming for the fact that you had to come all the way here when you could be sleeping. 

“Hi kitten, to what do I owe the pleasure?”his speech was slurred, irritating you further. Grabbing his wrist you were practically dragging the boy to your car, having none of it.”A little rough aren't we?”

Sehun laughed, stopping once you forced him down on the seat and accidently knocking his head. A pout formed on his lips, eyes trailing over you as you pulled out, planning murder. This wasn't the first time you had to get Sehun from a party, no it happened almost every time he went out. The boy loved to cause trouble and did what he could to get on someone’s nerves, you were practically a nurse now because of all the time you helped him. 

“Next time Chanyeol calls and beg me to get you, I will refuse!”you snapped at him, getting more worked up at his giggling. Sehun didn't take anything serious but you had seen a different side of him, a side which made you wake up at 1 am or treat his wounds. 

You still remember the time you walked in on him crying, how broken he had looked. Someone hurt him badly and you didn't ask, only held him. It had made you crazy after a while, the fact that you didn't know who hurt him, never in a million years did you think you would promise to kill the one who did it to him, to protect him. 

“But that’s exactly what you’ll do, kitten..”Sehun smirked, licking his lips. A chill ran down your spine, the small amount of empathy you had for him disappearing. Curse him and his good looks!

You weren't gentle in the way you made him sit down on the couch, mumbling threats the whole time. Sehun watched as you made your way around the apartment, collecting what you needed. It made him feel warm. You were taking care of him, he had your attention. 

“Be quiet, or I’ll stuff a sock down your throat..”the cleaning alcohol would sting but he had gotten used to it, your touch soft against his skin. 

“Wow, I feel like I get to know all your kinks tonight..”the boy whined slightly when you pressed harder at his bruise, fire in your eyes. 

“Yeah and I’ll even perform one if you don't shut up.”

“Oh, I’m intrigued. May I know what?” 

“Ropes and a gag. I’ll tie you up in bed and leave you there as I sleep in my own..”Sehun smiled. He liked bickering with you but he couldn't deny that what you were saying wasn't attempting. His mind flashed with images of you tied in different positions, eyes in a haze. They were sinful and made him slightly warm. You noticed the way his eyes darkened and huffed out, not believing him.”Not a chance big boy. I was joking and if you so much as do move in your bed, I’ll throw you out the window.”

Sehun stared as you placed everything back, orbs traling your figure. Your clothes didn't show of anything, leaving him fantasizing about what was under. It wasn't the first time but he had never been so obvious about it. Your hips pressed against the counter your were standing by, alcohol overpowering his natural scent. Sehun’s hands found their way to your waist, face resting in the crock of your neck. Heat, all you felt was heat. His nose dragged across the delicate skin of your throat, stopping under your ear. 

“You’re so feisty all the time but awfully quiet now..Why’s that? Do I make you shy?”it was close, you losing it, but as his hand wondered lower and his lips pressed lightly against your skin, did you snap out of it. 

“Sehun! Go to bed!”shoving him of, you were running away. Your body felt like it was burning as you slid down your door. He had been so close, pressing against you in ways he shouldn't. A moan had been bubbling in your stomach  and now were you aching. 

A sigh in relief left you when you reached for your vibrator, thanking God that you had changed batteries in it. You were forced to finish what Sehun started or you would never fall a sleep. The boy, however, was standing in the kitchen, smirking, but he too felt the effects of teasing you. His pants were too tight. He would fix it himself this time but that didn't mean you were free. Sehun knew he could get you tomorrow, having to just point out a gash on his torso. Laying in bed, the both of you took care of your problems, thought traveling to the other as pleasure laid quiet in the night. 

-

You weren't much happier when you woke up the next morning. Sure, he would tease you all the time but he had never been like that, so forward. You didn't change as you got out of bed, too hungry. Sehun was still asleep and you thought about checking on him, maybe he didn't remember yesterday and it wouldn't be awkward. Knocking lightly, you heard a groan and some shuffling, before the door cracked open. Sehun glared at you with one eye open, black hair a mess. His lips had a natural pout but it was intensified now, making you smile without thinking. 

“Hungry?”he nodded, following you like a puppy. He hadn't asked about yesterday but you still couldn't stop thinking about it. 

After taking painkillers, was his head resting against the table, locks displayed. You giggled lowly, starting with breakfast. The boy fell asleep again, only waking up when you poked his shoulder. There was something very domestic about eating with him,even if he looked slightly out of it. 

“So you’ll help me with the last right?”Sehun’s question had you raising an eyebrow.”You know..we never got to check if I had some more bruises..”

He didn't look up at you but you saw the ghost of a smirk roll over his lips, proud over his smoothness at reminding you about last night. Even if you fought it, the blush still managed to grow over your cheeks. That smug little shit. 

“I feel sore on my side…”you didn't have a chance at telling him no, the boy was already dragging his shirt of before you could breathe. Sehun flexed, thriving in your parted lips and wide eyes. He knew exactly what he was doing.”..here..”

Pointing at a small purple mark, he smirked. Your gaze stayed too long on his chest, giving you away. 

“That’s not even a bruise!”

“Well it hurts!” Sehun pouted at you, leaning back to stare you down with dark orbs. Tension filled the air and the sexual frustration you felt made you annoyed. 

“S-Sehun I..I don't even know what you want me to do!”your mind was chanting to ignore him and his body but he wasn't making it easy, arching in ways to show off his assets. 

“You never had a problem helping me before! Why is it different now!?” the two of you weren't shouting but your voices had risen in tone, disbelief dripping from them.”What did I do? You always say you’re unfazed by me so why not know?”

He stood up rather fast, stalking towards you as you tried stuttering out an answer, which you didn't have. Why was it so hard looking at him when you had seen him almost naked before? Was it because of yesterday? Or were you going crazy? His arms caged you against the same counter as before, only you were facing him now. Sehun stopped right before your lips, breath fanning over them in a teasing way. You felt weak, desperate for him to touch you, to do anything.

“Why?”his voice was so low, licking up your body, standing just out of your reach.”Tell my why Y/n..”

You lost it, arms circling around his neck as lips clashed together. The kiss was a mess, passionate, but a mess. Sehun brought you closer, pressing himself against you until there was no more room. You could feel his bulge, stiff by your thigh. His mouth worked hard, electing low moans between kisses from you. When you had to breathe, were you panting with swollen lips, but Sehun couldn't wait. His lips went for your neck, kissing and sucking at your skin until marks formed. Hands moved all over you, stroking and kneading, before they rested under your butt, urging you to jump. He stood in between your legs, kissing your lips, as he sneaked his hands under your shirt. You didn't wear a bra so he instantly felt your breasts, pinching your nipples. His actions made your back arch, fingers pulling his hair, making him groan.

“Let’s get this of kitten..”Sehun’s voice was strained, sweat forming by his hairline when he grabbed your shirt, pulling it over your head.”..better..”

The cold air made goosebumps form on your skin, his gaze piercing you. Lips attached to you again, leaving bruises down your throat and collarbone, until he got to your chest. Moans left you, an ache and wetness build between your legs. Your hips started grinding down on the counter to get some relief, nails clawing down on Sehun’s back. The boy groaned against your skin, cock hardening  so much it started to become uncomfortable. As his mouth left your nipple, a string of saliva formed, glistening in the light. Your chest was heaving up and down, eyes hazy as you watched him stare up at you through his eyelashes. His orbs were so dark, it was like staring into space. 

“I can do more right kitten? I can touch more?”you nodded, head falling back when his fingers pressed against your clothed heat. Your sleeping pants were stained because you didn't wear underwear and maybe you would have been embarrassed if you weren't so needy. 

Sehun grabbed the waistband of your clothing, dragging them down from your body, which was more than willing to move for him. Your wetness dropped down on the counter, making him groan, fingers digging into your thighs. He kissed your lower stomach, digits slipping through your folds, teasing your hole. A whine left your lips at his teasing, eyes closing just after you saw his smirk. You were so wet and he was not doing enough, just watching you squirm. 

“S-Sehun...please!”mewling out your pleading had him almost growling in arousal. Sehun loved the way you looked, how your body moved for him. He couldn't wait to be inside of you. 

“Please what kitten?”tears formed in your eyes, his smug voice driving you insane.

“Please touch me!”never did you think you would be begging your roommate to fuck you but when his fingers finally dipped inside of you, could you cry. He moved in and out of you, stretching you open as an orgasm grew in your stomach. You never got to fall over the edge, his now slick fingers left you before your relief came. Tears fell from your eyes, your pleasure simmering away.”No!”

“I’m sorry kitten but I want you to come one my cock..”his fingers dipped inside your mouth, smiling as you weakly sucked on them, tasting yourself. Now, were his touches softer, lips kissing away the falling tears.”...I’ll make you feel good again, I promise..”

Sehun’s voice was smooth, falling easy from him as he left feather kisses on your face. Your body, however, was still stiff and fiery from the lost orgasm. He watched your haze, smiling, hands moving to undo his pants. They dropped with his underwear, cock springing free and hitting his stomach. A groan left him at the feeling and your eyes widened at his size. His member was big, head red and leaking precum. It made you whine again, hole clenching around nothing. 

“I’ll be right back kitten, just need a condom..”he was about to leave but your hands grabbed him, keeping him there, too needy to even wait for him. Sehun raised an eyebrow at you, wondering if you didn't want to do it anymore.”..Kitten?”

“D-don't..don't go get it, just do it..”a smirk took over his confused expression, hands spreading your thighs a little more. 

“You sure kitten? We need to be safe..”he purred by your ear, kissing right under it.  

“I’m on the pill…”Sehun hummed and unbeknownst to you, had he positioned himself by your hole. His head slipped inside of you, making your walls squeeze around him and him groan loudly.”Sehun.”

You moaned out, arms bringing him closer to you as he bottomed out. Your whole body was shaking, his scent inclosing you. Sehun felt you clamp down on him, breath stuttering out as you practically dragged him deeper in. 

“K-kitten relax a little..”he was your anchor, the only thing you could hold on to. The counter under you wasn't cold anymore or your body didn't feel it at least.”..God so tight..”

His movements were slow, cock rubbing you on the inside so deliciously. Moans and skin sound echoed through your kitchen as the day proceeded, breathes turning to pants. Your denied orgasm was rebuilding fast, hands clenching at his wide shoulders. Sehun licked up your neck, speeding up until he was pounding into you, chasing release. Your back arched, black dots forming in your vision. He had you on the edge, so close and when his fingers rubbed over clit, were you cuming. Your orgasm was so strong it forced him to stop moving, walls pulsating around his cock. With a slack jaw, were you letting out sinful sounds, heart hammering in your chest. Sehun growled one last time, fingers prolonging you pleasure as his other hand wrapped around his cock, moving up and down. He came with a low moan, cum shooting out and landing on your stomach. Your back fell against the could wood, gaze out of it. 

“I like you..”Sehun murmured by you ears, slightly out of breath, forehead resting on yours.

“What? You do?”being in your post orgasm state made you believe you heard him incorrectly, even if he was so close. 

“Why do you think I got in so much trouble? It was so you would come get me.”a small gasp left you, hand hitting his naked chest. 

“That’s a really stupid way to get my attention!”he giggled at you, bringing you to him, until his lips rested by yours.

“But it worked, didn't it?”

[accomplice-tendou]

Chapter Fourteen

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲

You sit in the back of the car with Tendou as Shirabu drives you to a somewhat abandoned-looking building with two large men in suits standing outside.

A club?

"Alright give it to her," Shirabu nods to Reon in the passenger seat.

As you look over, Reon passes back a briefcase to you.

"Why am I the one in charge of this?" you think aloud.

"There's one hundred ten mil yen inside," Shirabu says after ignoring you, "so don't mess this up."

Helpful as always, Shirabu.

"So what am I supposed to do with this?" you worriedly ask Tendou even though you already know what to expect.

"You're going to exchange it," he shrugs.

"F-For what?" you ask as you look back to the men in the front seats.

"Oh my god," Shirabu groans, resulting in a punch in the arm by Reon.

"It's Y/N's first time leave her alone!"

Reon then turns to you and gives you a reassuring smile.

"Tendou and I will both be with you so try not to worry too much, okay?"

You nod and look towards Tendou as he wraps an arm around you.

"Ready, Y/N?!" he speaks with excitement.

"Sure," you reply even though you wish you were given more answers.

Reon and Tendou both step out of the car. You watch as Reon walks to your door and opens it for you. He holds out a hand and you put yours in his, allowing him to help you out of the car.

"Thanks."

You give Reon a weak smile and the two of you walk over to Tendou on the other side of the car.

"Awe no fair," Tendou whines, "I wanted to help Y/N out of the car."

"Will you shut up?" Reon mumbles as the three of you walk towards the bouncers.

When you approach them, you take in their appearances. The first has messy black hair and is intimidatingly tall. The other is a bit shorter, has light brown hair, and wears a bored look. Both men begin looking you up and down as you stare blankly ahead. Tendou lets out a low growl before yelling at the men.

"Oi! Her eyes aren't down there shitheads. Where's your boss?"

"God you're so loud," Reon groans only loud enough for you to hear.

The bouncers finally notice the briefcase in your hands and move aside to let you through. As you walk past, you see Tendou giving them a serious stare until you pull him away.

"Come on," you whisper, indicating to where Reon has begun walking.

The three of you walk to a back room where Reon knocks on the door. A man with dark brown, spiked hair answers the door and stares at your companions until he notices you. His eyes instantly widen before he moves aside to let you through without asking anything.

The three of you walk into the room. Tendou places his arm around your waist and ushers you inside.

"Don't be nervous, Y/N," he whispers as he removes his hand.

When his hand leaves your back, you can't help but feel the nerves. Especially when a man approaches you from the other side of a desk. Although the room is dimly lit, you see his brown hair with eyes to match that begin burning into your skin.

"Hey there boys who'd you bring with you today?" he smirks.

"H-"

"Hands off."

As Tendou was about to tell the man off, Shirabu makes his grand entrance and gets to the statement first. You can feel Tendou pouting behind you, but you are too busy worrying about the man in front of you.

"So gorgeous, you got my one hundred fifty million yen?"

What the hell?! Shirabu said there's only one hundred ten!

Tendou gives you a slight push towards the man before you. You see his eyes sparkle with excitement as you're forced closer to him.

What are they expecting me to do here?!

"Actually sir, we have a new offer for you," you lie after a moment of quick thinking.

"Go on. I'm listening."

You look to your side where Reon's standing. He looks at you with worry written all over his face. However, it's their fault for putting you in this position.

"Well, uh, since we're making a big exchange," you begin making up, "this is a big opportunity for both of us. Without us, your business wouldn't be thriving as much as it is."

I've got no idea what Shirabu and Reon are planning on buying, but if it's worth one hundred fifty yen, it's gotta be important to this guy.

The man bends down to grab something. When he stands back up he slams down a brick of cocaine.

You can't help but stare at the brick for a moment. This is all so new to you. When you look back at the man before you, he can read that expression like a book.

"Do you have my money sweetheart?" he asks coyly, still seeing right through you.

Unsure of what to do, but experiencing the same rush of adrenaline you felt when you met Tendou, you take a step towards the man teasing you.

"Y/N..." Tendou calls from behind.

"You know, I've seen the exact same product from my old neighbor and he was definitely not getting two point three million yen per brick," you smile sweetly.

I heard Tendou say something about sixty-five bricks before. I guess they're supposed to be buying sixty-five bricks of cocaine for one hundred fifty million yen.

"He must have not been doing his business the right way," he winks.

"That may be true," you shrug, "but then I can always go buy the goods from him."

You turn around and see your three friends with worried looks on their faces but before you can move, the man you were bargaining with grabs tightly onto your wrist.

"Y/N right?" he asks.

You turn around and nervously nod your head.

"I like you, Y/N," he chuckles.

"Not cool 'Kawa, that's not yours," you hear from behind.

The man shrugs off the comment and lets go of your wrist. He sits down in his chair and gives you a quick look up and down before continuing the negotiation.

"So, Y/N, how much would your neighbor sell sixty-five for?" he asks earnestly.

"Probably one hundred mil but I guess I'll settle for one hundred ten," you grin.

"Goddamn what a rip off," he laughs, "but I guess I can make an exception for you just this once."

After throwing you a wink he stands back up and places down two large, black containers on the desk. He then eyes your briefcase so you place it onto the table.

For a brief moment, you notice the man smirk once more and begin to look down along your body but before he gets too far you get pulled back to Tendou and an arm goes around your waist.

"Sorry guess I forgot to mention that Y/N's taken," Tendou teases as he tightens the grip on your hip.

The man pouts at you and begins whining about how he was tricked. However, before you get the chance to think of what to say or do, Reon nudges your arm and says it's time to go.

The four of you walk out together satisfied with the deal.

"HOLY SHIT!" Tendou exclaims as he spins you around the room, "Y/N did such a good job, didn't she!"

"I've gotta admit I was worried there for a second," Reon tells the group, "but you did well, Y/N."

"Thank you," you nervously accept the compliment even though on the inside you were freaking out that Tendou's friends were beginning to accept you.

"I agree," Shirabu nods, "I was skeptical but you negotiated better than I thought."

"It was your idea you know!" you make sure they realize.

"You were just supposed to show him your tits and let us handle the rest but you didn't let us begin before you started your own idiotic plan," he huffs, "and I wasn't expecting him to talk business with you."

"What a bunch of pushovers," Tendou laughs loudly, "I can't believe they let Y/N manhandle them like that!"

"How are none of you acknowledging that you all just threw me in there without telling me what's going on! You're all ridiculous," you pout.

"No, what was ridiculous was the math you did in your head!" Reon chimes in, "How'd you know how much he wanted per brick."

"It was easy," you shrug, "I just divided the total by how many bricks you were planning on buying. I overheard Tendou talk about it before."

"That's a serious talent," Shirabu tells you, "It was actually pretty cool."

"You think so?!"

"I told you guys," Tendou sings, "Y/N's the best accomplice!"

[peachy-inserts]

Ok well if angst is ok then heres the thing, fem reader has a healing quirk but every time she heals someone she can feel the pain of the injuries 10x more than the original until shes done healing. Her secret move tho is that she can also revive the dead in exchange is her own life. Now reader and Aizawa are coworkers, shes an assistant nurse/teacher, they like each other but never confessed yet. While protecting his students in a fight with villains, Aizawa dies, reader saw this and did what

-only she can do in that situation. After she did it, she was able to confess to Aizawa before she dies. So there, sorry if its long and if its too much I understand but thank you so much and I absolutely love all of your works!! Looking forward to see your blog grow 😊😊😊

Oh boy, we thrive off of angst in this house. I did change it slightly, i hope you like it! the only difference is that he doesn’t die, but the reader does, so that its more dramatic

Aizawa x Reader, who dies to save him during an attack(angst!): TW: blood and death. Word count: 2,000

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The city was on fire with rumors and suspicions of a possible villain attack on UA High School. After the first, by the League of Villains, the school had no other choice but to resort to extreme precautionary measures; therefore, the local police station had the authority to monitor the security  system, and was immediately notified of any triggered alarms. With this many people having access to such vital information it was no shock that:

1. Private matters would soon become public affairs

2. A smart enough criminal could infiltrate the system if they were desperate enough

So, unfortunately, these rumors were true. Amidst all the chaos and confusion of reporters trying to make their way past the gates and interview heroes on active duty, you ran about the grounds helplessly, scouting for stragglers and injured students. You push a camera out of your face, its owner spinning around on his heels, and shout at him for being reckless and inconsiderate; how could you keep people out of danger if they willingly (not to mention ignorantly) threw themselves into it headfirst?

The cafeteria was being used as a safe point, where All Might was stationed, too weak to actively engage in combat, but strong enough to hold off one to two villains in order to  protect those inside in the unlikely event that the less powerful students were targeted. It was those in the hero course that they were after. Since those at the point had been deemed safe for the moment being, you were sent to search for any more that would need to be sent there, unable to fend for themselves, as well as those that could but had been injured. 

“My God…” you said out loud, as you threw an unconscious teen from the support course over your shoulder. “-they’re just kids”. You yourself, in all your years of being a pro had never had to endure these many attacks in the span of a year.

Once under the security of the cafeteria, you gently placed their limp body onto a nearby table and began the healing process, gently cradling his head you assumed, due to the lack of visible injury, that they may have been knocked out by pure blunt force. In the matter of only a few seconds, he sprung upwards, nearly headbutting you, and thanked you profusely, knowing the effects of your healing.

Because of your incredibly useful quirk, you were immediately recruited onto the UA staff whenever you earned a name for yourself. You liked it better this way, as you were unable to adapt to offense due especially to the pain you were forced to endure during healing. Over the years that you had been working at the prestigious school as an emergency nurse and support teacher, you had gotten considerably close with your colleague, Shouta Aizawa. He admired your resourcefulness and readiness to assist, and found that your quirk was as strong as it was because of your selfless and caring personality. The two of you frequently met up in the teacher’s lounge before class to complain about specific students, discuss possible lesson plans, or just simply catch up on your personal lives over a piping hot cup of instant coffee, courtesy of whoever forgot to bring the box of it home. Around maybe a year or so ago, you began to accept that you were in love with the scruffy, careless man. Nights upon nights of tossing and turning, crying and laughing, and contemplating had led you to the conclusion that admitting this to him, or anyone else, would be detrimental to his career and the safety of the students. You found it depressing that you were so hopelessly in love, and wasn’t able to do a single thing about it; all you could do was occasionally buy him lunch, sub for him during your free period, and make an exaggerated point to welcome him to work every morning.

Back to the matter at hand. You shook yourself out of a daydream about what could be if it weren’t for your professions, and scolded yourself under your breath for being so easily distracted in the middle of a crisis in which lives were at stake. What if he was hurt, though?

Suddenly, you felt a strong grip on your shoulder, and turned around to see All Might before you, looking worn and battered from years of battle, as well as the current stress the staff collectively shared due to the intrusion.

“Toshinori? What’s wrong? Where am I needed?” you sputtered out, worried about what he may say and something tugging at the back of your head that screamed at you to go out into the battle and help the other heroes, instead of waiting around here where there was nothing to be done. However, you knew you were needed here. You two were the only ones watching over the safety point.

“Its okay- I was just here to tell you that everyone here is accounted for. They need you out on the grounds to help the ones fighting”.

With no more than a determined nod, you stormed out of the main building and out into the combat, where you were quick to notice that there were considerably fewer heroes present than you had intended to see… The integrity of the surrounding buildings was no longer, most of them having had their walls knocked down and windows busted out. You quietly hoped that the glass had been broken from the impact of a villain being thrown against it, but with the amount of wounds you had healed in the past hour, you knew better than to assume that was the case. In reality, it was an absolute disaster.

“Eraser! You can’t hold them back on your own for much longer, just let Mirio intervene!” you heard someone distant shout, and quickly hastily began to search for Aizawa; your gut instinct was right, he needed help.

“I fucking told you, now stop distracting me! There’s no need for the students to get any more involved…” he trailed off, having been struck in the face.

“Shouta!” you called out to him, sprinting as hard as you could in the direction of his voice, finding him engaged in battle with a large, hideous figure, whose skin was a deep, unnerving green embellished with huge, swelling boyles. He had a grip on Aizawa’s neck, and you could see… blood gushing from his eyes. He couldn’t see to use his quirk. You could feel your heart sink into your stomach; there was no way that he could make it out of this on his own. What if you hadn’t showed up? Having been trained to think rationally in these situations, you quickly called out for another hero to take the lead. One look and you knew that you, without any offensive capabilities, wouldn’t be able to take this monster out. Besides, you had to help Aizawa.

Mirio was on call in an instant; his cape had been torn off and his costume torn in spots, but nothing could ever touch his strikingly faithful spirit. He was quick to pry his teacher from the grip of the beast, knowing your intentions of using your quirk to help Aizawa and thus baiting the villain into a different area, so that you had enough time and security to go through with the process. 

He was in terrible condition. There he lay, desolate and helpless, blood oozing out from his wounded eyes and his appendages bent every which way. His scarves were long gone, having been stripped from him to make overtaking him an easier task. He was targeted, and you knew it.

“Shouta! Shouta - i-it’s me! Can you hear me?” he was clearly in worse condition than when you had first heard him only moments ago, before you had located him. Seeing him in so much pain, it was… the worst thing that you ever had to go through. Before you knew it, tears spilled out from your eyes and cascaded the bumps in your swollen cheeks, down your chin and dripping onto his chest. Without giving him time to answer, you threw yourself on top of him in a protective manner and drained all the love from your body into him.

“Huh?” he coughed a few times, and then wiped the blood off of his face with the arm that was broken only moments ago. You had never been known to be able to heal so many serious injuries at once, at such a speed, and this immediately alarmed him once he was steady enough to have a firm grasp on his consciousness. “No, w-wait, stop!” he pushed himself away from you, sliding out from under your body, subsequently collapsing from the energy that it took.

Already, you were shaking from the pain. You began to shake as it overtook you, but you didn’t lose sight of your goal. You never did, never wavered. He loved how stubborn you were, adored how determined you were, but in this moment all he wanted to do was grab you by the shoulders and scream some sense into you.

Desperate, you pinned his arms down and looked over him, sobbing. It broke his heart.

“Please, stop, please!” he begged you. “I’m fine now, I really am, you don’t need to do this. It’s unnecessary!” he ditched his stoic demeanor in turn for a plead. He was in excruciating pain, and didn’t want to begin to imagine how bad it was for you; all he wanted was for you to stay out of harm’s way, and yet here you were suffering for his sake.

“No!” you practically screamed in his face, causing him to wince. “I can’t- I can’t let you die! I can’t let you be hurt like this…” You stuttered through choked sobs, partly from emotions, partly because of the extremity that your body was subject to. 

“I won’t die- you’ve already done enough - I can make it to the hospital just fine, so why are you putting yourself through this?” he was lying, and he knew it; if he wasn’t then he would have simply pushed you off of him by now.

“Because I love you!” 

You weren’t even aware of what you had just said, or rather, it didn’t register that you hadn’t developed the sort of relationship with him that it was a normal thing to say. What did it matter anyways?

“I- I love you, too…” Aizawa said, feeling a huge weight leave his chest. Feeling more at ease, he flipped you over onto your back, causing you to cough up blood. Shaken, he sat you up so you wouldn’t choke and made a point not to touch you, as badly as you just wanted to hold you tight, so that you couldn’t use your quirk.

“I love you” he choked out, feeling immense shame and guilt for your wellbeing. No response. You fell over, limp the pain having been too overwhelming for your body to handle at once. 

You were dead.

And it was all because of him

-mod jo

[wilhelmjfink]

The Great Divide - Ch. 15

A/N: hey!!! to the like 3 of you that follow this story sorry I’ve been MIA lately! I’m sure you saw my last post about being busy as fuck with the track season opening up and springtime means show season and birthday parties at the farm and blah blah blah..... anyways here’s chapter 15 :-) thank you xoxoxo

Previously: Daryl’s blood was boiling. He was furious — he was fucking livid. Even more so because there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it at that moment. The one fucking piece that he had that could lead him to Riley and the one fucking thing that he had that gave him a glimmer of hope that he could reach her again; the one frayed thread that connected him to his girl again that he was grasping onto for dear life... was laying dead at his fucking feet.

“Ya gotta be quick to find people’s weakness. Everybody’s got one — ya just need to know what you’re looking for.”

Riley stood still in front of Daryl as he taught her the only way he knew how -- hands on. And so they stood toe to toe in the patchy clearing of the woods, just the two of them and the shadows of the trees the lowering sun casted onto the ground out their feet.

It had taken that conversation and situation for Riley to realize that she’d never told Daryl, or anyone in her group for that matter, about her history of MMA fighting, the years of her own hands-on practice she’d had under her belt. It wasn’t intention or malicious that she’d kept it secret, but rather her defense mechanism, for when she’d first met them she didn’t want them to know all of her weaknesses because Daryl was right — everybody had one.

But after a small run in with some strangers out scavenging for anything to bring back to the Greene farm, he’d decided that she had to learn to defend herself. If not for her sake, for his; for he couldn’t understand why his heart pounded in his chest at the sight of her getting picked up by the dark skinned man twice her size like she was weightless, or why he cursed himself for not being on his game well enough to stop it from happening or just simply protect her. It was an innate desire deep inside of him he hadn’t been able to quell since his group had showed up on the farm some odd weeks ago; and so because he didn’t understand it, it just made him angry.

He stood closely behind her, gently guiding Riley’s body into a fighting stance as she allowed him to move her like an artist crafting his masterpieces in front of him. His touch always sent chills down her spine, and she didn’t understand why. The unspoken bond that had drawn the two immediately together — she didn’t understand that either, but basked in the decision to embrace it instead of question it.

“Now, say I sneak up behind ya, what are ya gonna do?”

Riley shifted slightly, waiting for him to adjust and position himself as if he really was a stranger running up on her and grabbing her from behind. And when his strong arms locked easily around her small frame, all of her memories and experience came rushing back, and she easily offset his balance with a slick bend of her elbow before jabbing it into his stomach -- perhaps harsher than she’d intended. He let go of her with a grunt, clearly blindsided by her response, and was even more shocked when she naturally spun on her heel and brought her right leg up in a well-rehearsed kick, her boot whispering over his by head mere inches, luckily just as she’d intended as opposed to kicking him across the jaw.

Dropping her arms, she smiled to herself proudly regardless of being slightly winded from being out of practice for so long. But Daryl stood up straight, his expression initially radiating anger... but Riley could easily tell there was some sort of admiration and relief underneath it somewhere.

“The hell, woman?” He was still catching his own breath after the impact to his stomach. “Ya said ya ain’t never fought before! Did ya really just hustle me?”

Riley looked away with a nonchalant shrug. “I guess I may have forgot to mention I did MMA for three and a half years. My dad made me do it.”

Daryl was really trying his best to remain stern but his features were betraying him and Riley noticed, feeling her cheeks flush at his expression of his secret praise for her.

“I thought ya said ya played piano, 'n... took some sorta drama or actin’ classes or somethin’ like that.”

His steely blue eyes were watching her closely and she found it incredibly hard to meet them, looking down at the ground with a laugh.

“Well, shit Daryl, where do you think I learned to hustle so well?”

Riley sat cross legged on the concrete floor of the makeshift bedroom, intentionally ignoring the dirty cot behind her to make some sort of stand, while the empty walls provided a perfect element to allow her to zone out and get lost in her thoughts as she racked her mind for any trace of knowledge that she could use to her benefit for that night.

Fuck, she was still sore as all hell from the previous day, her muscles straining just to sit still, only alleviating the slightest bit when she forced herself to stretch them out. It was a welcomed pain -- a sensation that reminded her she was alive which was bittersweet in that she had fought that long, but meant that there was surely more to come.

Her feet were still bandaged loosely and she was so angry that she considered kicking them off just in spite of Lidia, who’d done them in the first place. Her name felt sour inside of her mind, bitter, like an old best friend who’d betrayed her... which, she guessed, essentially what it was, but with more dire consequences. 

How could she have been so fucking stupid? How could she still, after everything she’d put herself through, be so blind to people? This world was not meant for friendships and camaraderies anymore — no, it was meant for enemies and it was survival of the fittest. She’d really thought the way things were before had held her in a dog-eat-dog world? She snorted in derision to herself: if only she could go back in time and show her younger self what it truly meant to survive in a world that was quite literally every-man-for-themselves.

She’d been lucky before — too lucky — when she’d come across her friends way back when. That was still when things were trickling downhill in the beginning of it all, and nobody really wanted to believe that the world and life as they knew it were crumbling beneath their feet. She found some good people then because they were still around. Nowadays, the trustworthy ones were all dead and gone. Because they were too good for this evil world. Daryl, as per usual, had been right all along, and she’d known it from the very start.

If anyone was meant to survive in this hell, it was him. He would be the last man standing.

There was a familiar pang of loss in her heart at the thought of him. Though there was some underlying guilt she couldn’t deny, feeling as though the last day or two she hadn’t really thought about him much — shit, she didn’t have any time to. She’d been on the go since she got there and when she finally did have a moment to sit and breathe, she took advantage of it and slept every second she could. She was exhausted still and she sang quietly to herself.

Carry me all through the night

I am the last light fading

If he was there with her, what would he tell her to do? To stick it out, because that’s just what you do. Every single time she’d ever asked him ‘are you okay?’ she’d gotten the same answer from him: ‘gotta be’.

She wondered what he was doing at that very moment. Was he still trying to look for her? Hell, did he even notice she was gone?

No -- she shook the self-pitying thoughts from her head. No more feeling sorry for herself. No more wallowing in what if’s and should or shouldn’t haves; if dog-eat-dog was what it had come down to, then Riley vowed to be the toughest damn dog that the world has ever seen.

The one good thing that came of her endless waiting in the closet-sized room in silent anticipation was that she god a decent meal for the first time in what felt like ages: a hearty serving of canned vegetables, two freshly baked dinner rolls, and a slab of venison; it was a little bit rare for her liking, but she sure as hell didn’t complain. It was even seasoned.

It also reassured her that somewhere in that filthy, dilapidated city there was sustenance and actual food to consume that wasn’t stale or moldy. There was actual livelihood there. And the more she thought about it, under Slavemasters menacing armor was usually just some tattoos or paint, but not dirt and grime. They were clean, too. There was something to be said for the way they carried themselves: cocky and confident and satisfied, thriving in the new world.

So she’d only seen half of The Divide. The name quickly became ironic as the thought crossed her mind; what a concept it was to enslave hundreds of men, women and even children and forced them into agonizing, exhausting manual labor and pack them into old motel rooms like sardines, feeding them old garbage when there was fresh food being made two, maybe three buildings over. It was the same slavery that tore the country apart hundreds of years ago. But it was so much different.

And at the same time, she couldn’t help but justify it... The Divide was by far the biggest and most successful community around and it was flourishing, only growing bigger by the day. And it wasn’t like the work the slaves were doing was in vain — she’d learned that a majority of the work went towards reinforcing the wall that surrounded the city or crafting weapons and other materials for survival like guns and armor. And that was an absolute necessity nowadays.

The Slavemasters all seemed pretty content. None of them were boney and starving and emaciated. In fact, they seemed to be doing pretty fucking well. And Riley was sure she could get used to that lifestyle. Comfy. Not worrying about safety or sustenance.

She’d already hold herself that she was done feeling sorry for herself. She was going to charge head first into this fight with every intention to win, and she was going to try her damndest. She didn’t care if it killed her, so long as she went down fighting.

“Some day, yer gonna run into the wrong group of people, and I just wanna know that yer prepared.”

Daryl shifted uncomfortably after his admission and Riley turned to look at him with a smile, his words filling her with warmth and butterflies, knowing that it was his way of saying he cared... at least a little bit.

“Well, aren’t you gonna be around to save me when that time comes?”

Her retort was meant to be sarcastic, but neither one of them could deny the hint of seriousness in her voice and especially in his reply:

“I ain’t always gonna be around, Ri.”

The words stung. They even tasted bad coming from his mouth, already feeling as though he’d let her down. It was true, though, and he would never be able to live with himself if something had happened to her that he could’ve prevented. “But... ya know I’m gonna do whatever I can to keep ya safe. Always.”

With a sigh she leaned back into him, feeling his body tense for a moment before he forced himself to relax into her, both of them staring up at the endless starry sky and enjoying their alone time in the guard tower, thankful for the night away from the claustrophobic prison.

“I know, D.”

“...But ya know were still gonna train again in the mornin’.”

She sighed. “I know, D.”

Riley had always humored him, allowing him to drag her out into the wheat fields of the Greene farm and the courtyard of the prison to spar, giving her tips and techniques that had served him well. Most of the physical aspects she’d been solid on — stance, pressure points, form and technique she’d all learned in her few years of professional training as a young girl. But she’d never really stopped consider the mental aspects of it: the clarity and focus that was necessary for defeating her opponent had never been an issue. She’d only ever practiced with her instructor and other classmates and abruptly quit when she’d discovered whatever hindered sobriety as she grew older. And granted Ryan was a grown man with over a decade of training under his belt, he was a skinny guy, and Riley had taken him down in sparring more than once. She had never really stopped and thought of him as an actual threat to her. There were big, mean people out there that she had yet to face.

“Ya gotta learn them real quick — exploit their weaknesses,” Daryl had told her. Take a half of a second to observe your opponent. Which hand was their dominant hand? Did they have any injuries, any limp as they walked? Were they confident, staring you down the whole time, or were they sketchy and afraid of you?

“Most of the big dudes are gonna look real tough, n’ they probably will be, but remember: that’ll make ‘em slow.”

Her head snapped up. “Holy shit,” she whispered to herself at the realization. That was her key to winning that night: sure, Raul was big and burly, but that would make him sluggish in his movements, and it gave him a long way to fall when he went down. That was it. She had a chance — she had a fucking chance. It was small, but shit -- it was there. “Thank you, D.” She closed her eyes, picturing his proud eyes and slight smile when he’d noticed she wasn’t completely helpless when it came to combat. “I won’t let you down, I promise.”

[dailyaudiobible]

11/21/2019 DAB Transcript

Ezekiel 42:1-43:27, James 5:1-20, Psalms 119:1-16, Proverbs 28:6-7

Today is the 21st day of November. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it is wonderful it is a joy to be here with you as we take our next step forward, something we've gotten in the habit of doing, taking the next step forward each day. So, today we’ll go back into the book of Ezekiel before concluding the letter of James. And we are reading from the New Living Translation this week. Ezekiel chapters 42 and 43.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we concluded the letter of James today and yeah…I mean that…that book…that letter…that…that letter will kick your butt. And, so, if you're like me, then you’ve been challenged once again by the Scriptures. And as we concluded this letter, the final words of encouragement, as is…is customary with many of the letters in the Bible offers some practical postures that we need to live into or we’re supposed to live into. But as we look at the ending of James, we need to remember that James is writing to Jewish brothers and sisters, so Hebrews. And these Hebrews had been forced to relocate and move around because persecution had begun. So, James says, “dear brothers and sisters”, and man, that's the context for who he's writing to, but this is for every single one of us, “dear brothers and sisters, be patient as you wait for the Lord's return. Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring. They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen. You too must be patient. Take courage for the coming of the Lord is near.” So, what James is describing here is what we've started to talk about a lot because the Bible’s bringing up it…bringing it up a lot and that is endurance. Be patient as you wait for the Lord. How often do we do that? I cannot tell you the probably, thousands of conversations that I have been a part of over the years where a person is very frustrated at God because they are not willing to be patient. And yet what James says is true. “Look at the farmers, they have to wait for the rains to come. That's how it works, and so they eagerly wait for the rains and then they eagerly look for the harvest to ripen.” That’s the example the Bible is using. That's what James is using to illustrate this point. We must be patient in the same way understanding that the harvest comes throughout seasons. And as we wait patiently, we are being ripened. So, that is very encouraging for us but for those who had been, you know, displaced because of persecution and facing that kind of marginalization that kind of hardship, then those…those words give a person a reason to continue another day because we’re reminded that a process is underway. So, we’re impatient because we haven't reached the conclusion, but we are not at a standstill. No matter what it feels like a process is underway and in that process we must be patient and practice endurance, which can be more difficult than we can imagine sometimes, largely because our culture and everything we watch on television and listen to on the radio promises us that it’s gonna…that we can have it now. Buy now pay later is the way of things, instant gratification. But this process that's happening inside of us, the process of sanctification, it doesn't work like that. It’s like a farmer. So, a farmer can't plant a seed and then wake up the next day and go out and get the harvest. If a farmer plants a seed, he’s going to go out the next day and it's gonna look like nothing has happened and nothing will happen. Sometimes the long wait, right, as we ripen, the long wait through the seasons discourages us and then we find ourselves behaving just like the children of Israel in the Scriptures, grumbling, right, grumbling through our wilderness experiences. James actually spoke to that though. Brothers and sisters don't grumble about each other or you will be judged for look the Judge is standing at the door. So, we only spent a few days working through this fairly short letter from James, but we’re left with plenty to think about. James wrote a forthright, direct, clear letter so that nothing can be misunderstood in what he was saying and so we should be forthright in receiving what was said, and in bringing that to God, especially in terms of things we may need to repent of, things that may need to change so that where not just hearers but doers of God's word.

Prayer:

Father, we invite You into that, the point at which what we believe animates our lives so that what we do and think and say is centered around our relationship with You. And we…all…all of us confess that there have been plenty of times that it's been lip service, that we've talked a good game about a life that we are not living. And, so, we are inviting Your Holy Spirit to come and unify those things, reveal those things so that in heart, mind, and will we are in alignment with You even as we continue to explore the necessary aspect of life known as endurance. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus’ name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website and that makes it home base for a community that’s virtual like ours. So, that is the place to go to stay tuned and stay connected.

Of course, if you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app most of the things that we’re talking about at the website, they are also available in the app. So, you can just click the Drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner. But it's a portal, it's a way to stay connected.

And one of the one of the beautiful distinctives of this community that has kind of evolved over the years is the fact that we love one another well and we pray for each other continually. And the Prayer Wall is a place to go that really represents that because it's just always on and there are people praying all the time. So, it's a wonderful place to go if you're shouldering something you need to offload and you need not carry by yourself but it's also place to go when you're feeling strong and you remember what it feels like to be weak and you just go and offer some love, some heart, some encouragement, some prayer. And that's kind of…that's the glue here. And, so, the Prayer Wall is a wonderful resource. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, I cannot thank you enough. We literally and truly would not be here doing this if we did not do this together. And, so, I thank you…thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com, just lives kind of on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is a number that you can dial, or you can press the Hotline button in the app, the little red button that lives at the top and…and off you go.

And that is it for today. I am Brian I love you and I will be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

I want to say hello to this beautiful community of believers that I have the privilege of being a part of. This is Mary from Georgia and I want to pray for Summer from Ohio and Running Desperately to Jesus. I just heard their prayer requests this morning and I just want to ask for God’s help for them. Father thank You so much for the beautiful gift of this community that You have given to all of us and I ask Your continued blessing on it and on Brian and his family and I ask that You would just grow this community even more so than You already have. I especially want to lift up Summer, my sweet sister in Ohio and my other sweet sister who called herself Running Desperately to Jesus. That is the most beautiful way to describe Yourself. That’s who we all should be. And I just ask that You would please, give them Your…more of Your grace and more of Your peace Father into their minds and their hearts. I pray that You would help them to fill their ears and their thoughts and their eyes with You with Your truth that is found in the Bible Lord. I ask that You would point them to people in their community, maybe their church or their neighbor heard or at work who could just speak more of Your truth into their lives. I ask that You would please, allow Your…Your people to lift them up wherever they are and just give them peace and rest from their mental anxieties from what weights so heavily on their hearts. I ask that You would use this time of struggle so that they can help bless others in the same way that I know You will greatly bless them and heal them Lord in Jesus’ name.

Hi DAB family this call is for Vivik’s mom who is blind. We haven’t heard from you for a very long time. You used to call in all the time to give us some updates on Vivik. I know he was going through a difficult time a while ago. Hope things are much better for him now, hope he’s thriving and getting stronger in the Lord. Hope your daughter is doing well. You’ve been on my mind a lot and I just wanted to let you know that I love you and I’m praying for your family and please call in soon and give us an update on how you, Vivik and your daughter are doing. God bless you. Take care. And thanks to Brian and the Hardin family for everything you do for us. Bye.

Good morning. Hey this is Annette Allison from Oklahoma City. This message is for Running Desperately to Jesus. Sister, I think I know exactly how you feel. You know, I’ve had some pretty bad relationships in my past and taken advantage of many times by supervisors and bosses and coworkers because I tried to be nice. And I understand that sometimes being nice, it’s kind of hard to say no and…but then people kind of take advantage of you and then you like resent them when you did what you set out to do, which is kind of funny. But, you know, I understand and my life at one time I was angry and bitter, and I had no happiness whatsoever, nothing brought me happiness. And I understand. And the Lord was convicting my heart and I had been in the Daily Audio Bible for about a year and a half and I just asked Him to bring joy in my life. But I think the thing that I have learned over the years is that happiness and joy is a choice. Okay? And maybe that is something that you need to hear, that it is a choice and it’s not something that just magically happens in your heart. You have to work at it, you have to find the joy in work and the joy in anything. And I think Ecclesiastes may help you out. Read that. And just ask for the Lord to…to bring joy into your life and to practice it. Practice smiling. Practice being nice. Practice being polite. And do it with a smile even if you don’t feel like it because those are muscles that we need to work out and if we don’t work about it ain’t gonna work.

Hey Daily Audio Bible Family, this is Fashionably Late Vinnie calling you from the flatlands of Ohio in the USA. I first want to say thanks to Brian for putting this button in the app where we can just tap in and share our prayer requests. It’s just so much easier to hear you guys now if you have access to that button. It’s like you guys are in my living room and we’re sharing prayer requests. I can just hear you all so much better and I feel so much closer to all. So, thank you Brian for developing that and putting that in there for us. Thing two as per my nickname, Fashionably Late. I am very fashionably late with the podcast. I just finished September 27th and it is actually November 17th today. So, a couple weeks for me, a couple months ago for all of you we went through the song of Solomon and that can be a bittersweet read if you are single like me. And I had a hard time at first but I appreciate Brian’s perspective that it can be a poem between two lovers. It can also be a poem between God and us, Him calling out to us, searching for us to be in relationship with us. So, if you are single and this season of life, I just want to encourage you. God is calling out to you. God has something for you in this season of your life. So, spend time with him like you would spend time with the people you love. Go on a walk with him this week and take a moment to listen to share your heart and just let him call out to you, let him call you into whatever he has for you in the season because there’s a purpose for it. All right. God bless you all. Ciao.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family this is Melissa and I am also from Ohio and I wanted to pray right now for Summer from Ohio who called in the other day. It was…today is November 16th, I think. And summer, I just…I just love you. I do. I love that you said you were spent because it sounds like it. It does. And that tugged at my heart so much because I know. I don’t know but I know being spent. And I am also a mom and I am also walking a rocky path. So, I just want to pray for you right now Summer from Ohio. I am here in Ohio with you and I’m just can lift you up to God. Lord God I just lift Summer up to You and so much of what her is on her heart and I just pray Lord I just pray that You would give her strong shoes, strong shoes Lord to walk this path that she would be an example. And Lord God just bring into her life people that would pour into her their love and support and encouragement. In Jesus’ strong and holy name. Amen.

Good morning it is November 18th, and this is Denise who is originally from California, now lives in Charlotte North Carolina but travels a lot for her job so has already made it on a Monday morning to Orlando for a business trip. So, the sound that you hear in the background is the Orlando airport, but I had to stop and find a quiet a place as possible to lift up the people whose prayers were played on November 17th. Isabel in Australia for the fires in Australia, I just want to lift up your country and bring the healing rain from the Lord. And Asia from Chicago your tears for JJ the homeless man and all homeless in Chicago, you had me crying in seat 13C. So, sister I prayed with you and I pray with you now for healing and the protection and all of the complex things that go into homelessness, let those just be parted like the waters to get to the other side. Summer from Ohio, I heard your tears and I heard your pain and I heard everything that you had to say, and I lift those up. And for Jason who was suicidal who you say that doesn’t hear you. Lord I just ask that You open Jason’s ears up right now, You open his ears up so that You open his heart up and You send the right person the right messenger that there is another way and that he is made in God’s image and that he is destined to help other people when he gets on the other side of his own pain. And then Desperately Running for Jesus, I don’t have a response. Suffice to say that I know it is never too late because Moses’ ministry started very late in his life and Sarah had a baby very late in her life and there’s a whole list of people in the Bible who did things late. And, so, whatever God is working on you I know it is for good because He works for good and His blessings can’t be reversed. Amen.

[imagine-a-killingharmony]

How (insert five random DR characters) react to their s/o breaking their arm during a killing game, yet they still remain active and useful throughout the whole killing game and survive?

If this were an actual game I’m pretty sure that S/O would be the mvp, completely the mvp yea...?? We’re all screaming at the deathflags but they live what a champ.

Also five random... dr characters... the k gang, this is perfect for the k gang oh my god!!! alright let’s add some of my favorites to write from it, we got Kaede! Kaito! Kiibo! Kokichi! Kirumi! Korekiyo is gonna be held off for now since ya’ said 5 but one of these meetings he’ll be here!

That’s a promise.

-Mod Shuichi

Kiibo

The day they had all found you with an broken arm at the end of the staircase after being pushed by a masked figure, Kiibo found a worry like no other corrupting his systems, it flooded him completely and he had to worry somewhat about the entire ordeal.

He promised that he would not leave your side until you got better, you told him there was no need for that yet he inisisted! Really he thought that you would be slightly incapable of helping throughout the trial or with the usual ordeals that came from being trapped within a killing game...

Yet you did, he was thankful that you had still managed to assist everyone else despite the conditioning you were in. He made sure you had him promise to not overwork yourself!

Whenever you were having issues with anything he always tried to help you to the best of his ability! Which wasn’t much but it was considered useful enough by you, that’s all that he thought mattered.

You were surviving so far despite all you had to face, the hope that shimmered inside you... his inner voices always seemed so surprised at it! Calling all the deathflags you were facing to be quite of large quantity, yet you thrive.

Isn’t that truly amazing? You survive and thrive and continue to fight until you both finally made it out of there together...!

“... S/O!” He offers you his hand, your arm is still in a cast, you chuckle weakly before taking his hand in your own functioning one.

It’s warm despite the robotic skin, the metal that presses against yours, so warm, yet not sizzling hot.

“Let’s go.”

You walk past the rubble into your own hope, that belongs to nobody else, a future that only you and Kiibo choose.

Kaito Momota

When Kaito had found you with a broken arm a sobbing mess within your own dorm room the place you should be safest, after someone had attacked you only being narrowly avoided he felt a side of him he didn’t even know existed until now fear.

He promised to stay by your side from now on even though you kept insisting that wasn’t even necessary considering your arm was placed into a sling, but he continued to tell you it wasn’t of issue!

Kaito was really happy you managed to keep on your A-GAME despite getting attacked! Really that’s his S/O! You even kept training with him, of course you refused to do anything arm related and not easy but still! A-GAME!

Honestly he was anxious at first but after seeing your determination to stay active and not let that dastardly Monokuma get away with this, makes him all riled-up too!

You’ll make it out! Right? No matter what, it’s a promise! Can’t break it now, heh.

He just wishes he could escape with you.

A cough narrowly escapes his lips, he feels blood pour from his mouth onto his hands. You aren’t like him, right? You’ll remain active right? Won’t you?

He roughly yanks the syringe out of his arm, he’ll watch you, he’ll be cheering you on from the stars. He wipes his hand in his newly-formed blood as the entire world goes woozy around him, all of you, so close to the end.

So escape for him, make the impossible possible mkay? You won’t let some pesky injury kill ya’ or make you all weak, unlike him. He trusts ya’.

Finding Kaito’s body only made your determination harden more than it already had, with it you find the courage to find his killer, you make it out alive.

Even if Kaito isn’t there he knows, cuz’ he’s watching from the stars.

He told ya, right?

Kaede Akamatsu

You had accidentally broken your arm in an fatal attempt to stop execution, Monokuma gave you a warning and you didn’t take it despite his headings.

Kaede took place as the one to help you with daily-life, why if she were in this situation she know you would just do the same for her wouldn’t you? She can’t imagine how it is to not be able to use your hand at all, how it would be to be unable to play piano... it sounds horrifying.

But you don’t play piano so this isn’t all that bad, she even tries to lighten the mood sometimes with some slightly dark humored jokes, which strangely always work on you.

She got uneasy on the very thought of your injury, it made you an easy target for the others but you promised you could take them all on...

That made her believe in you, so you made sure that trust was worth it.

You stood together and survived, you even helped with the trials, you kept moving forward, not skipping a beat, a fast-paced rhythm, a sharp rhythm that never disappoints.

She keeps up with you, together you make a powerful cadence of hope arranged to perfection, despite the other voices being more than you, your duet conquers them all.

You escape together, the song reaching it’s finale with a fortissimo crescendo that pierced any other sound that tried to overwhelm it’s tune.

She takes you into her arms never have been prouder the two of you could have left this place together, that you survived despite all the hardships you had to go through with her.

With one final bow the two of you leave the stage, the song having reached it’s end.

Kokichi Ouma

Kokichi Ouma didn’t want to admit it, he refused to admit it in fact, it was quite in fact unacceptable!

You got mixed up in some stupid fight between Angie and Tenko, it’s just sosososososososososo stupid! He wasn’t even there! How could you do this to him?

This was all unexpected too! He didn’t plan for anything like this to happen, he didn’t think those two numbskulled idiots wouldn’t hurt you for any reason, yet they did!

Now he had to replan everything to get the two out of this mess, how could you possibly be useful now with a broken arm...?

Kokichi was proven mistaken rather easily, somehow you kept up with the rest of the group, out of pure sweet determination you kept moving forward.

He doubted you now he almost wants to laugh by the total way his plans flopped yet came back around so easily, oh well.

Since you had gotten a broken arm he had started teasing you much less, of course anytime you note this he would make a stupid joke about how your arm was broken, trying to reaffirm his role as the big bad evil leader!

But really he was afraid for your sake, he gave everyone who looked at you strangely one of his creepy looks, he smirked evilly at anyone who even suggested with your newfound state you could make easy-pickings.

You always promised him that wouldn’t be the case, but even so he felt scared, worried sick, he’s never felt like this for anyone ever before how could you do this to him?

At the end of every promise you always hugged each other, even extended your pinkies out and intertwined them, made an oath.

You kept your promise, you lived, he lived, lived, lived, lived.

When the trial room had become nothing but rubble the two of you stood there, struck by the new light of freedom that escape was just a few steps away.

Kokichi almost cried, you did it, you exceeded all his expectations again, he can’t be happier his heart isn’t shattering in front of him like he planned it would.

“I love you.” His hands wrap around your waist and he lets out a choked sob, his mask finally have been cracked open.

“I love you too.”

Kirumi Tojo

When Kirumi has found your unconscious body with a newfound broken arm she almost let her exterior slip, her walls break, but she kept her cool and went to bandage the wound as swiftly and efficiently as she could so you wouldn’t feel pain when you woke up.

She would stay by your side almost constantly asking if you needed assistance, you often told her it was fine but she persisted to assist you.

With a broken arm your safety usually held quite the problem, you weren’t able to defend yourself completely so it was best you made sure to lock your doors and stay by her side.

She expected you to relax slightly with this issue, it would be hard to deal with, so she had found you kept trying your very best to get out of this place even now.

You kept looking towards the truth, you kept on your feet and made assertions that made the group’s optimistic rise, you kept her sane and lended her a shoulder to cry on.

No words could tell her how happy she was that you kept moving forward, that you spared thought for her sake despite your own conditions.

She... She’s so glad the two of you had survived together, to now.

That you never lost hope, that she fell in love with you.

That you survived together.

“... S/O? Do... Do you mind if I request something of you? I know this is informal of me, as I... am supposed to keep a level head at... all times but I...” She squeezes your hand. “... May you hug me?”

“Of course.” You held her tightly in your grasp, as tightly as you could with a broken arm at least and you felt her shudder under your grasp, she tightly hugged back.

“We made it.” She gently whispers pressing her head against your chest, her grip loosening. She didn’t even bother to keep her dignity as she cried just like a small child would against you.

“Together.”

[manyimaginativemuses]

Small Bump - Chapter 8

Rating: M+

Warnings: New character introduced >:)

Read on AO3

The next few days were rather tumultuous for Lucy. Unfortunately, the anti-nausea spell Michael performed wasn’t exactly working. She spent nearly four whole days hunched over the toilet as Michael tried his best to help her all while he was working with the Cooperative to start making advancements towards repopulating the Earth. Melanie’s ginger tea recipe was helping slightly, but there wasn’t much relief for Lucy until about a week later.

She woke up one morning, her stomach finally not churning for once, and she let out a sigh of relief. Michael was already gone, a note on the bedside table explaining that he’d been called away for a meeting. Lucy was starting to worry about how much time he was spending with the Cooperative. If they were calling him away at all hours of the night and day, would he be there for her and their twins? She was so anxious that she knew she needed to clear her mind or her nerves would have her face first in the toilet yet again. Taking a deep breath and getting herself dressed, Lucy made her way to the familiar indoor garden that she loved. All the colorful flowers and the gentle breeze from the open windows usually did wonders for her anxiety and depression. Little did she know there was someone else heading to the indoor garden as well that day… Someone who had been tracking her for quite some time, making sure to keep themselves out of Michael’s gaze until the moment was right.

And the moment Lucy walked into the Sanctuary’s indoor garden that fateful morning seemed to be the perfect time.

“I’ve always admired how they manage to keep this place thriving with life, especially given all the death and devastation surrounding us.” A woman spoke up and Lucy turned around, coming face to face with Senator Allyson Mayfair-Richards. Lucy had tried her best in high school to keep up with the news and Senator Mayfair-Richards’s rise to power was certainly one she had kept her eye on. She admired how this beautiful and powerful woman managed to beat all the odds and make it to the top. So to see this woman that she looked up to for so long standing right in front of her, Lucy was downright speechless.

“O-oh my God… You’re Senator Mayfair-Richards!” Lucy exclaimed, her eyes going wide in surprise. The woman before her just chuckled and nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Yeah. But you can just call me Ally. After all, there’s not really a government anymore for me to be a senator for.” Ally smirked, crossing her arms. She couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow as she noticed the slight rounding of Lucy’s abdomen. After ridding herself of all her phobias, Ally started noticing things others generally missed. This included Lucy’s stomach that she had tried her best to keep hidden under her sweatshirt.

“Ally… Well it’s lovely to meet you! I’m Lucy, I’m a big fan of yours.” Lucy said with a smile, extending her hand which Ally happily took.

“Well the pleasure is all mine, Lucy. After all, us women gotta stick together in these hard times.” Ally shook Lucy’s hand and Lucy couldn’t stop smiling.

“I agree! I used to watch you speak on the news and I wish we had a senator like you in California where I lived.” She admitted with a shrug, her emotions seeming to suddenly get the better of her as Lucy felt lightheaded out of nowhere. She sat down on a nearby bench, a look of concern crossing Ally’s face.

“Are you ok?” Ally asked and Lucy nodded with a sigh.

“I’m fine… I’m just ten weeks pregnant with twins and these babies are already giving me a hard time. My midwife thinks I’ve got something called hyperemesis gravidarum.” Lucy explained, the Latin words sounding foreign to her ears, “It’s been hard finding one good day where I’m not just hunched over the toilet.” She gave a dry laugh as Ally sat down beside her, knowing this was exactly her way into Lucy’s life.

“You know, I have a son, and my pregnancy with him as anything but smooth, let me tell you. I’m still amazed my ex wife was able to deal with all of my bullshit.” Ally said with a laugh, “If you ever want any help with this, I live on floor 3, section C, room 12.”

“Oh my God, Ally, thank you. That’d be really helpful.” Lucy replied, her hand lazily rubbing the small bump under her sweatshirt. She then gave a heavy sigh, biting her lip as an odd question formed in her mind, “Did your ex wife work while you were pregnant?”

“Yeah, both of us did. Well, her more so than me. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just… The father of my children, my boyfriend, he’s very high up in the Cooperative and he’s been absent quite a lot lately due to his job. I just wanted to know if your ex wife was away on work duties a lot… And if she was, did that affect your pregnancy? Was she at work so often that she missed your delivery?” Lucy was clearly nervous and Ally could sense it. She hoped she could use Lucy’s nervousness to her advantage. To get under her skin far enough that she would trust her, and therefore, she would be close enough to get the leverage she needed.

“Ivy was a bit of a workaholic during my pregnancy. She wanted to make sure we had enough money to support Ozzy when he came. However, despite all that, she was there for me when it really mattered and she was there when he was born. Even though we had our many, many, MANY differences, Ivy was a good mother and was amazing with Ozzy.” Ally’s store only made Lucy worry even more but Ally reached over and took her hand, “Hey you said your man is high up with the Cooperative right? Well, if he’s as high as you say, if you ask him to take a few days off, that shouldn’t be too hard for him.” She suggested and Lucy raised an eyebrow. She had once considered that, but she knew Michael was busy rebuilding the world. He and the Cooperative were dividing up the world to the survivors and Lucy didn’t really want to disrupt that.

But then again, she didn’t want him to miss the major milestones of his children’s development.

“You’re right. After all, I am the mother of his children. He should have more reason than ever to spend time with me.” Lucy replied, feeling slightly better as she and Ally began to talk almost incessantly.

However, Lucy had no idea that this was all part of Ally’s plan from the start.

Ever since Ally had first heard about The Cooperative, she knew she needed to be a part of it. Unfortunately, she was nowhere near powerful enough or rich enough to get a seat at that dark table. She was, however, just rich enough to buy herself and her son a spot at the Sanctuary. One of her fellow SCUM members did have an informant with the Cooperative which gave her the knowledge she needed. Once the apocalypse happened, Ally knew her main goal was to gain control of the Cooperative and the Sanctuary itself. She promised the long dead SCUM members that she would reshape the world in the feminine image. And this Sanctuary was basically what was left of civilization. Ally knew she needed to take control of the place. And, at that moment, control took the form of a single man.

Michael Langdon.

Ally spent quite a while learning about him, trying to find a potential weakness that she could exploit. Unfortunately for her, she was unable to find any weakness at all in the man for almost three years after the apocalypse. Luckily though, she remained vigilant, and her patience eventually paid off. Ally soon discovered that Michael’s weakness was a single person. The key to tearing down Michael Langdon was a beautiful, tiny redhead with heterochromia and freckles. Ally then took this knowledge and began to form a plan. She knew she had to get close to Lucy in order to take Michael down, but she had no clue how to get in with Lucy in the first place. From her observations, Lucy was rather quiet and kept to herself, preferring to spend her days drawing alone in the library. But once she learned from her close friend Ina May Gaskin that Lucy was expecting Michael’s baby, Ally knew her exact entry point and manner of attack. She knew exactly what she had to do to get where she needed to be.

This was the reason why Ally was listening intensely to Lucy’s story about how difficult it was for her and Michael to have a healthy baby.

“I must admit, it did take a few tries for me to get pregnant with Oz. However, I never had any miscarriages, but you do have my condolences.” Ally mused, resting her head on her hand as she listened.

“Thanks. You know, even though it’s been a while, each loss still stings my heart. I’m planning on telling these two about their siblings once they’re old enough so hopefully their memory will never be lost.” Lucy said with a sigh, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. She sat silently on the bench, doing her best to think and try to calm her mind, “I just can’t wait until they’re finally here.” Her hand caressed her small belly as she knew she needed to start preparing for the twins. However, because she was so early, she was still terrified of another miscarriage, despite what the spell said. Ally just reached over and patted Lucy’s shoulder before standing up and running a hand through her hair.

“Well I know for a fact that you will be a fantastic mother. I have to go pick up my son from his tutors, so I will keep in touch! It was lovely to meet you, Lucy!” Ally shook Lucy’s hand once more before leaving the garden. Lucy, meanwhile, dug her fingers in her curly hair, doing her best to process it all.

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[bubblesthemonsterartist]

Okay, I'm in Izanayuki hell *again* (thanks, Jen :D), sooooo: Izanayuki/Cinderella AU: There's some party in Clarines where Izana should "find" Haki with the glass shoe (for she's his princess), but to get to her he offers the shoe to other girls first (to prove it fits only Haki) but (*gasp!*) accidentally it fits Shirayuki .>

Itis said that Wilant Castle was born before time, before man, from the earthitself. That the very first gods to claim this land as their own cut through snow then mud then ice to midwife it from the mountains that lay beneath. It was, if you were to ask those whose blood draws from the rivers of the North, a holy place. That as long as the onewho sits upon its ancient throne was good and just, the country would benefit;would thrive.

He never gave much credence to the old stories.

Hisfather did, though. And had spat upon it. That, Izana remembers vividly. His mothers nails bit into the flesh of his shoulders and he, as a child, had not understood how her face could be so calm when her body pressed against his spine trembled so violently. 

Scholars, the King had growled, eyeing the crest of Knowledge that hung high upon the wall. They are no better than traitors in training.

At the time, he had been frightened. Been scared. Like all children are in the face of something more powerful than themselves. But he wanted so dearly to please his father, to be deserving of his time.

Izana yanked his arms from his mothers grasp, past her pained gasp, scampering up to his fathers side, and-

That’s my boy. A heavy hand rested upon his head - everything about him was always so heavy - ruffling hair as Izana cleaned the spittle from his chin with his sleeve. Pay witness to this, my Queen. A once and future King of Clarines stand before you.

Even now, the memory stings from the warmth it stirs in his heart. He had been… so happy. So proud. Felt so worthy-

Only for his father to fade once again. To disappear. Off to battle, Lord Haruka always told him. Off to war. And until his 13th summer, whenever a lazy moment would allow recollection, Izana would think upon the memory and dismiss it as no more than a dream. A fantastical nightmare that could be left in the ashes of slumber.

Until it wasn’t.

Cold sweat dampened his collar and steel flashed before his eyes. A blow landed and the wood in his hand rattled like his teeth, like his own spinning brain. 

Elitists. That’s what they are, King Kain said over the sound of his pounding heart, and he pulled back, circled, picked the next weakness to exploit. They think they’re learned, but they are nothing but innocent babes. What could they possibly know of war and peace locked up in their libraries and laboratories?

How Izana wished his father paid the Northern territories no mind. Each time was worse than the last-

It is best, the King grinned, catching the distraction and taking advantage of it. A fist wrapped itself in his loosened hair, his mothers hair, and held tight, to keep them tightly under one’s thumb.

The nape of Izana’s neck still burns and itches, still remembers the texture of a large hand pressed there and squeezing. Until-

You’re pushing yourself too hard, a far softer voice scolded. Small hands chased his away from the hurt, coolness chasing away the heat with one deft motion. You need to sleep.

For once, the softness in his chest relaid itself on his face. And he smiled. I’ll have plenty of time for that after one of these assassins manages to do their job.

Green, the color of a fresh spring day, flashed in his vision. A brow creased with worry. A mouth set with disapproval. I promised Zen I would take care of you. Don’t make me a liar.

Pain strikes straight through his skull in a thunderclap and he shakes the memory clean. 

What would his dearly departed father have to say about this?

“Arewe going to go in, Your Majesty?”

Izanablinks. Stares at the firelight glowingfrom the castle before him, the dark stone cut with gold, and wonders if there is something to be said of those old stories. If the same gods thatbuilt this place would intervene to keep the Wisteria name from tainting it further.

“Ina moment,” he replies.

Zakurais rarely dour. But between his Southern blood, the wind and the snow masquerading as rain, even he has his limits. “In a moment both of ourseats will be frozen to our saddles,” he grumbles. “We’ll have to be cut from them and how then do you propose that we meetyour lady? With a hole in our trousers?”

Despitehimself, despite the sight of his breath misting in a cloud through rain andsleet, Izana can feel his humor improving. He must be the only one of his partyaffected thus, for his mount shifts irritably beneath his thighs.

“Howis your history, Sir Shidnote?”

The weight of Zakua’s stare is heavy on the back of his head. “Fair enough,” he says, uncertain. “I was raised to be a Lord just the same as any other.”

Castinghim an appraisal from the tail of his eye, Izana smirks. “You and I both knowthat peerage does not equate knowledge.”

Zakuracoughs into his fist. “Fair enough.”

“Myfather always said that the North was cursed,” Izana comments airily, bare fingerswrapping around wet leather. “That, as King, I should never set foot in theselands unless I could avoid it.”

“And your brother?”

“The second born is called the spare for a reason.”

Zakura coughs again, this time it sounds suspiciously like a laugh. “Andyet here we are, your brother safe and in the South and us here, no worse for wear.” 

Alltraces of good nature leave his voice. “Now I know you were sleeping through the meetings.”

Therain falls faster, soaking through his cloak, until he can no longer feel the ache in his chest, the buzz in his brain. All he feels, all that there is, is cold andwet.

“Izana.” Zakura’s voice is rough beneath the steady shower. “Why are we here?”

It’sa good question. A fair one. And if anyone else were to press, if anyone else wereto ask, they may never learn the truth. In fact, Izana himself does not understandwhat brought him to this place.

Savehe does.

“Whyindeed?”

~~ ~

When theypass the great iron gates at last, past mounds of gray snow and melting ice, he throws his reins to a soaked-through page boy whoimmediately whisk his grunting animals to drier housing. The heft of the air loses some of its weight - seems lighter, seems calmer. Maybe the weather would break soon.

Izana ascends the stairs to the grand entry, each step heavier than the last, and the great wooden doors that have withstood raid after raid from enemy and ally alike opens so easily before him. It quickens him. And now that he hasfound his motion again, he cannot stop, remembers that he has never once in hislife needed to stop. It is not meant for him to pause beyond his own will.Rather, it is meant for his people to keep up.

Whenhe steps, backs bow for him. When he bends his knees, a chair appear below hisseat. When he but exists, announcements rattles off of stone walls, echoingchambers by chamber until it is but a distant memory.

Zakuratakes to his shoulder, hand resting too casually at the hilt of his blade. A servant of the house approaches to take his cloak, but Izana shakes his head once in negation. Holdingup a single hand, the butler pauses, lips pressed thin, and there is… something endearing about it. Something that Izana can’t help but view with a smirk at the novelty.

Asmuch as his father hated this place, had sought to change it, Izana had always been… oddly pleased atits continued existence. The servants of these lands hadnot his father’s ghost to beat docility in them like they did in Wistal, and the butlers gazedrops fretfully down to his feet. Izana’s follow. The edges of his cloak are dripping onto the fine Watese carpeting. The shift of his boot rubs in the mud that the road had flung on them.

Makiriwill be incensed. Izana leans back into the chair, wincing at the cold as itpresses firm to his back, and closes his eyes.

Good.This is half his fault anyhow.

Itis only a minute, maybe more, but the whispers begin on the edges of the room.The questions he is not meant to hear. Zakura is oddly silent at his side and,weighted down by his own stillness, Izana opens his mouth, opens his eyes toinquire about Lady Haki, only to discover she is already there. Watching him with preternatural stillness from atop the stairwell.

“Mylady,” he says softly, and even at his most genteel, it sounds loud. Harsh.Overwhelming in the face of her slight frame.

Shetakes a step forward, her eyes boring into him, and in the faint blue winter lights of the windows at her back, she looks ill, looks half dead. Like an omen. Like apromise if he is unable to bring this deal to fruition.

“YourMajesty,” her voice floats down the stairwell to answer his greeting. “I see the negotiations are going well.”

~~ ~

“Isee.” Haki finally says, after some difficulty. “That is… indeed a uniquesituation.”

Thefire splits and spits in the hearth, sparks illuminating the room beforefading once again, and Izana wraps numb fingers around delicate porcelain. Theytingle, pinpricks of pain filling every point of contact. He is certain, beneath his sodden clothes, that the rest of him is made ofnothing more than ice.

“Areyou going to let her be taken?”

Evenhis heart.

Hisbrows push at one another, his tongue oddly lost. “She cannot marry Zen. The slight would mean war.” Of that there is no doubt. “But I am not preparedto surrender her to Sama.”

“They would take the advantage and that would mean war as well.”

It hurts how easy she reads his thoughts. Sees his logic. That he does not need to explain what is plain to his eyes.

Hakihums around the lip of her teacup. “And our bachelor in Tanbarun. How does he fair?”

If he were not so weary, Izana would laugh. The things that he could do - has done - for his country may be unspeakable, but even that is a price too steep to pay on his soul. “Raj is as wellas can be expected.”

Thineyebrows raise in question. “But not enough.”

“Itwould be cruel,” he replies, and it is a challenge not to smile when her expression turns fond. “The throne has seen enough of that these last few generations. I would prefer to minimize it in my rein.”

“Andyou call your brother the idealist.”

Forreasons he cannot fathom nor can his mind articulate, his chest aches. Fillswith a sense of loss for something that was never truly his. “I never said Iwasn’t.”

Haki’sgaze grows weary under his. Flits away. “Why are you here, Your Majesty?”

“Time,”he lies, but it’s not. It’s just not the whole truth. “Time and distance. Tolet the negotiation table cool.”

Hestarts – he starts – when her handalights upon his wrist, as graceful and delicate as a butterfly perch. It takeshim back to his youth, when he was a child in his mother’s gardens. Long beforehe felt even the first whisper of the responsibility he was meant to wield. Longbefore he knew what it meant to be as cold as he feels now.

“Youdid not come here to ask my advice on diplomacy,” she says, not unkindly, just-true, and the image is shattered. Whatever solace she provided gives way, andhe is loaded once more, the weight of his country- of his people and their future- against that of a single waif of a common born girl. 

It is a wonder that he does not give way beneath it.

“Ivalue your opinion.” He does not move, does not dare disturb her lest she take flight. “That is all.”

Itfalls silent. Somewhere down the hall, agrandfather counts the hours. Tells him the precise moment that fate sought to break their pact.

“Youhave to marry her.”

Thereis no regret in her voice, no upset. It’s a simple statement that he knows costsher everything, yet she gives it without pause.

“Igave my word,” he says, so simply. To be your husband. To be your future.

“Izana.”His name is like a shock on her lips, striking every nerve until he is nothing but raw and tender bone. “You know what must be done. You cannot let such an advantage fall intotheir hands.”

“Butthe contract,” he licks his lips, grimaces at the sting, and why, why does this kingdom deem it rightto call him King when at this moment he feels so much a boy? “I have given myword.”

Hakismiles, drawing her hand back to her own. Lips pulling in a bitter line, shesighs. “You know as well as I, Kings do not have the luxury of keepingpromises.”

[selenelavellan]

Dirthalene body worship and office sex :D

I got distracted with plot but I DID IT

Reverse Evanuris AU

Dirthamen and the usual Evanuris are @feynites

Ana is @lycheemilkarts

NSFW

Selene has been under quite a lot ofstress lately.

Dirthamen knows this, as does much ofthe castle. It is not a secret that she has been struggling to mendties with members of her family whom she alienated during thefestival. That she has been tense and trying to return to a sense ofnormalcy in her home ever since she returned from her mothersterritory.

He would like to help.

That is where the trouble started.

They had fought, before the festival.She seemed to forgive him for his outburst upon her return, butit still hasn't been quite the same between them. Almost as though she has triedto force herself to move on, to take him back the way they had beenbefore, but something is holding her back. He can only assume he hasdone something wrong, without realizing.

That will not do. But heis unsure of how to aptly apologize.

It is a dangerous thing, to ask Des'dinfor advice. It does not escape Dirthamen that his markings have notchanged; that his lord has not changed, despite his seeminglypermanent transfer, and that his life and privilege still thrive atthe whims of the horned god.

Des'din has noticed the tension of hisother half as well though.

“She's doing that...thing,again” Des'din says, making a waving motion with his hand. “Ithappens. She's not good with stress. She holds onto everything untilit crushes her. Then she breaks apart, takes a deep breath, forcesherself back together, and starts the process all over again. It's aterrible habit of hers.”

“How do I help?” Dirthamen asks, alittle more pointedly this time.

Des'din raises an eyebrow, mouthcurling into a grin. “You need to give her another outlet, ofcourse.”

Dirthamen blinks in confusion.

“Oh, dear thing,” Des'din sighs,propping his head up on the back of his hand. “Distract her fromher work; pull her away from her worries, and let her have some timewhere she remembers that the world is not going to fall apart becauseAndruil is off pouting in the woods.”

“Oh,” Dirthamen nods slowly. “Howshould I do that?”

The grin curls back onto Des'dins face,as he pats at the space on the stone bench beside him.

“Come listen to my tale, littleblackbird,” He coos “And I'll share with you the weaknessesof my other half.”

-

It has been a very long day.

A shame it is only noon, Selene thinks.

She pushes open the heavy wooden doorsof her office, letting out a soft sigh at the pile of papers stackedhigh upon it. Ana is inside, browsing through a scroll detailing therecent movement of Elgar'nans peacekeepers near their border. Sheblinks when Selene enters.

Glances down at the desk.

Glances back to Selene.

...Curious.

“I'm just gonna....” The red headsays, pointing to the entryway Selene had just used and exiting theroom before finishing her declaration.

Selene doesn't bother chasing afterher; whatever Ana is dealing with, Selene trusts her to handle it.

Selene lets out a breath, tugging offher cloak and tossing it haphazardly onto one of the chairs as sheuncoils the braids that are in fashion in Sylaise's lands, and whichsomehow had been requested for her morning trip to check on theprogress of June's latest project.

It is far better than she had expected,at least. For all his faults, he really has learned an impressivelyefficient way to use his resources, even with a minimal amount ofspiritual sacrifice. Still not none, but at least 40% lessthan the original plans had called for.

Progress, however slow, is stillprogress.

It is with this mindset that she takesto her seat, leaning forward to begin her slog through the dayspaperwork.

A small, black tendril begins to windits way up her calf, and she nearly lights it on fire before sherealizes who is controlling it.

“Dirthamen?” She asks, glancingdown to find him kneeling beneath her desk. “What are you doingdown th-”

The doors of the room are flung openand she nearly jumps out of her skin as she watches CaptainDin'Durgen barge into her office, a crumpled piece of parchmentraised high above her head. Without even thinking about it, Selenescoots her chair further in, in an effort to hide Dirthamen fromview.

“Is something wrong?” Selene asksthe woman, who finally remembers herself and stops a few feet awayfrom the desk, standing at a soldiers attention.

“There has been a mix up,”Din'Durgen asserts, before hastily adding “My lady.”

“Alright. What sort of mix-UP?!”Selene squeaks out the last wordas the tendril moves further up her leg, brushing against her corejust lightly enough to let her know where it is.

Din'Durgen clearsher throat “Ah, it seems as though all of our spiritually enhancedweaponry has been seized by your blacksmiths?”

It takes a fewmoments for the words to register to Selene, whose mind seems to bemuch more interested in the fact that Dirthamen has started trailinghis mouth and hands up the length of her legs.

“Uh,” Shefinally manages, forcing herself to focus. “Yes. I'm having theshards re-purposed.”

“For what?”Din'Durgen demands.

“To regrow in thedreaming,” Selene admits, trying to hide a shiver as Dirthamenshand traces the shape of her calf lightly enough that she can feelgoosebumps prickling her skin.

“Andhow are we to defendourselves?”

“Withyour-” Selene shakes her head, trying again to pull her focus tothe meeting with her guard captain, and away from her lover who hasapparently decided he would like to be exceedinglymischievous today “With your training, and your skills.”

“So we are to dieon the battlefield with only the words on our tongues and the storiesin our hearts?” Din'Durgen says wryly. “My lady, I know yourpurview is secrets, but please-what am I to tell my people?”

“I-” Selenestarts before getting pulled into a moan, Dirthamens mouth bitinggently on the soft skin of her inner thigh. She tries in vain to cover itwith a cough. “My research team is looking into a newmaterial for your weapons. One that has more naturally enchantedproperties. I discovered it while I was staying with the Lady Mythal.If we can harness it correctly, it should be able to lead us into awhole new era of energy that doesn't require spiritual sacrifice atall.”

“And in themeantime?”

“In themeantime,” Selene says, voice rising slightly in pitch as shestands abruptly to keep Dirthamen from delving his tongue inside ofher “I expect you to do your job the way I ask of you. You may takeyour leave now.”

Din'Durgensface twists slightly, ready to make another argument before Selenepushes out an air of impatience, and points directly to the doors.“You are dismissed,Captain.”

The turquoisehaired woman drops to a bow, and makes a hasty retreat. 

Selenefollows closely behind, locking and warding the doors behind her beforeturning and staring at the desk.

“Whatdo you think you're doing?” she says aloud.

Dirthamens headpeaks just over the edge of her desk as he says plainly “I amtrying to give you an outlet.”

“An outlet forwhat?”

His head tiltsslightly. “Interesting. I...did not ask that question.”

Selene drags herhand down her face. “Des put you up to this.”

“Not...precisely.He only mentioned that I should make my attempt somewhere that youoften find stressful. Since the council chambers would beinappropriate given their shared nature, your office seemed like themore reasonable choice.”

“And he told youto do...what? Surprise me with oral?”

Dirthamens mouthopens.

Closes.

He humsslightly in consideration before fully crawling out from beneath herdesk. “I would like to try something,” He finally decides.“If you would permit me.”

Selene feels herheartstrings tug, but stares over him at the piles of papers still on her desk.“I have so much to get done...”

“None of it istime sensitive,” He assures her. “I have already checked.”

“You read throughmy official paperwork?”

“You told me Iwas permitted to read 'anything I could get my hands on'.” Hepoints out.

Selene sighs andshakes her head fondly. “I did. I did say that.”

“May I make myattempt?” He tries again.

Selene slips herfingers into the loops of his robes, pulling him slightly towardsher. “I suppose so,” she allows.

The tops of hischeeks turn a soft pink at the gesture, but he clears his throat andtakes a step back.

“If you wouldhave a seat, I think this would perhaps be easier.”

Selene raises askeptical eyebrow. Chair sex in here? Really? Not quite theamount of support they usually need. The back of her chair is highperhaps, but several feet away from the wall. It's not meant towithstand a surplus of weight or movement, not like the ones heenjoys being tied to in the bedroom. One good thrust and they'll bothgo flying backwards.

Still. She canalways catch him, if need be. If something goes wrong, she'll simplyhandle it.

She always does.

Without furtherarguments, she seats herself back in her chair, scooting it fartherfrom her desk to avoid any temptation to multitask. Time sensitive ornot, she still has responsibilities after all.

But she sits upstraight, one leg crossed over the other expectantly, ready forwhatever Dirthamen might have in mind.

He kneels down infront of her, and her first instinct is to tell him to stand, thatit's ridiculous for him to act like this. He knows better than mostshe's no actual Goddess.

But his hand grazesover her knee and gently, so gently, uncrosses her legs.

“Just relax,”He says quietly, glancing up to make momentary eye contact, his baredhands still resting gently on her knees.

Such a small thing,really. The focus, the contact, the care for her in his words.

Her heart skips abeat all the same, words caught in her throat as she nods incompliance.

He places a softkiss to the top of one knee in thanks, eyes drifting closed and handsdrifting lower, thumbs rubbing small circles into the backs of hercalves. Affection is not unusual behavior for Dirthamen; quite theopposite, really. But this is...this is something different.

The way he exploresthe length of her legs, the attention and compliments he gives, theway he seems to savor every moment of this time...

It's worship.

She can feelherself heating up at the realization, even as he continues to takehis time with her legs and thighs. While he presses just firmlyenough on the tender flesh of her inner thighs to make small divots with his fingers,praising her softness, telling her how much he enjoys her, how muchshe means to him.

It is just words,really. Words coupled with affectionate touches, with genuineaffection and love and devotion pouring out of him.

It takes her breathaway. Ignites her in ways she hadn't expected, relaxes muscles sheforgot were capable of such a thing. His hands pull away the ribbonthat had been keeping her robes together and slide against her sides,reverent and unabashed while his mouth presses against the soft pouchof skin from where she is now slouching. Every inch of her is alight,straining and expectant, every touch like a new spark of magic fromhim. He goes slowly, so slowly it's almost maddening, but theanticipation is such a wonderful burn, his mouth and praise the balmshe craves while he takes his time inspecting and exploring everypiece of her.

Selene isn't sureprecisely when the scales appeared on her spine, or when her taildecided to make an appearance until Dirthamen is paying attention tothose pieces of her the same as he has the rest. She is on her kneeswith her back facing him, head raised towards her ceiling and breathscoming in shallow bursts when he runs his tongue over her scales andsends a shiver that makes her keen, tail dragging against thecold stone of the floor beneath them.

“Dirthamen,”She finally begs, head swimming in her hypersensitive state, hishands and mouth and ardor flooding her senses, thoughts falling awayas he makes a small bite on the crook of her neck, flooding her in anentirely different way.

Any other time shewould worry about the mess she must have made of her office chair,but now...now, all she can think of is him, is the way hemakes her feel, the relief of his presence, the love swelling withinher, ready to overflow and the blazing heat in the pit of herstomach.

He seems to noticethat she is approaching her limit, whispering more praise in her ear,telling her how well she is doing, how much he loves her, howgrateful he is to have been gifted her trust while he lifts her outof her chair, splaying her open on top of her desk instead.

A familiar,brightly colored container is pulled out of one of his pockets beforethe robe is discarded entirely. He coats one finger in it, slippingit inside of her with ease-

And she comesaround it.

Embarrassinglyearly, some corner of her mind thinks.

His own surpriseflares briefly around him before he reins it in and continues hisministrations, slipping a second finger in with ease and laving moreaffection over her sides and chest, a few tendrils sliding up hercalves once again, pulling her legs open a bit wider.

She hums as shefeels them, thoroughly relaxed, and considers the inspiration.

Subtly, as much asshe can hide it, she glances to where the discarded containerlays and carefully moves her tail closer to it. Pulling in on thecurls of hair that usually cover the end and softening the rough edges ofher scales, she rolls the extra appendage around in the lubricationbefore nudging it carefully against her lovers rear entrance.

Dirthamens eyes goslightly wide as he notices her actions, and she raises her eyebrowsup in challenge.

“Fair’s fair,”She coos, gently brushing her own hands over his cock.

He shivers, and shethinks he might be about to argue so she slides her mouth over hisbefore he can. Encases him in her arms and flips their positions,until he is the one splayed open on her desk and she is the one withtwo feet on the ground, devouring and drowning in the taste of him.

“Is thisalright?” She checks, pulling away just enough to speak, his breathstill warm against her lips.

“Yes,” Hebreathes, and she hums in thanks as she delves her tongue back intothe warm wet of his mouth, the tip of her tail pressing gently intohim in unison.

Selene can'tremember the last time she felt so relaxed. The last time she was inso little hurry to be somewhere or do something. Hownice it is just to enjoy her lover, her heart, to feel the way hemoves beneath her.

It would be better,she thinks, if he were not trying so hard to restrain himself.

“Let go Vhenan,”She purrs against his neck.

“My form...” Hemanages, skin still flushed and his cock dripping precum onto his stomach.

“I've got you,”She assures him.

He hesitates amoment before letting out a soft breath.

The air in the roomchanges notably as he does.

Six large blackwings unfurl from his back, skin turning to a beautiful dark expanselittered with stars and eyes. His legs lose some of their solidity,most of his body past the knees turning into tendrils that match hisskin, and the room fills with power and magic, long restrained by hischain and mask and his own growing capabilities. She has to loosesome of her own to cover it, to hide that this surplus of power ishis, so that anyone passing in the halls will only sense her power, her own magic flaring out into the wards. Her own pair of wingsunfurl, and she feels her pupils shift as she does, still in controlbut vulnerable as her peripheral vision nearly vanishes.

That's alright, shethinks as his tendrils curl around her. Her waist, her hips, herlegs, her arms; she trusts him.

Trusts himentirely, as he lifts her over his still straining cock and shelowers herself down onto it, sliding her tail slowly in and out ofhim in tandem with the rise and fall of her hips. His wings flare andhis breaths become as shallow as her own, her own hands exploring asmuch of the expanse of him as she can reach, stars bursting andgleaming under the pads of her fingers. Feathers fall down aroundthem; hers, his, theirs. 

Details become blurry while they losethemselves in each other, energies and words mixing and blurring andthe feeling of being touched all over simultaneously too much and not enough. Moansand groans and flesh on flesh, keening and orgasms and not even thecertainty of who between them is having them, only a shared desire to keep going, tosavor this, to make the most of being together again.

It is....very darkby the time they have stopped.

Selenes tail hasreceded and her scales have mostly vanished and Dirthamens form moreclosely resembles his usual one now, as they are spent and exhausted,hair damp and clinging and Selene is unsure if the insides of herthighs will ever be dry again after she glances down at the sloppymixture of their fluids still dripping out of her.

It’s a goodfeeling, though.

With the littleenergy still in her, she rolls over to Dirthamen, the two of them ona tapestry they seemed to have yanked off of her walls to lay on thefloor instead, and presses an affectionate kiss to his forehead.

“Thank you,”She manages.

He smiles, eyesonly half opened and his chest still rising and falling a bit tooviolently while he attempts to regain his breath. “Anytime.”

She snorts.

“Probably weshouldn't make a habit of completely destroying a room every time wehave sex,”

“There are worsehabits to have,” He notes, a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Selene shakes herhead in fondness before burying it in the crook of his neck, curlingher body up around his.

It is good to beback.

[heathergoffrier]

10 Scriptures On Contentment That Will Encourage New Moms

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The last time I flew with my family, I sat helpless as a tiny human ate, wiggled, and climbed all over me for 2.5 hours in a 2x2 foot space. In other words, I was flying with a lap infant. In the moments where I could look away from my child, I found myself peering enviously up the aisle at a woman watching a movie. A grown-up movie. She looked so relaxed, at peace, and happy. My staring was interrupted by the baby clamoring for something to chew on and hubby asking for the snack bag. He was across the aisle attempting to pacify our oldest and prevent our toddler from climbing on the seats and screaming. I wondered how long it would be until we could read a magazine on a flight, or watch an actual (grown-up) movie with no one climbing on top of us or badgering us for treats.

Finding Contentment When It Doesn't Seem Available

It's not that I wish I didn't have kids or that I'm discontent with my life. But I was a bit discontented with that moment, that flight. Sometimes I need a reminder that I'm in a phase that's really not about my own comfort. And that my life is not always about the simple pleasures of grown-up birthday parties, traveling with ease and going where I please (like when I'm house-bound during nap time or a global health crisis). It's normal to want a bit of my freedom back for a few minutes. One kid-free flight.A night away from the kids.An evening at home where they (who shall not be named) don't scream at the top of their lungs because they want Cheerios when they just had Cheerios 5 minutes ago as their pre-bedtime snack. For the love. RELATED: 20 MOM AFFIRMATIONS AND SCRIPTURES TO COUNTER NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

I'm pretty sure we're keeping the cereal industry afloat.

Choosing Our Pain

It's healthy to get out and away from the kids and take care of yourself first once in a while. But when I'm with them, sometimes I need to remember that not everything worthwhile is easy. Sometimes we have to, as this article from Quartz states, "choose our pain."  Joy in life isn't about chasing all the awesome things we want that those around us seem to have... The people up the airplane aisle with the "stress-free" life who can watch movies all flight long.The perfect Facebook and Instagram posts.Other moms who seem to have it all together while I don't feel a good mother at all. If I spend my time wanting what other people have, I'll miss what's right in front of me. How many times have you heard an empty-nest mom say, "I miss those days!" or "The time goes by so fast! Enjoy it while you can." And we all roll our eyes a bit and think, you must be forgetting how hard this is. I think the reality is that joy is actually possible DURING the hard times. Peace is available IN THE MIDST of difficulty. Life is bittersweet. It's rarely all joy or all pain. The good comes hand in hand with the bad. But when we can turn our hearts and minds to scriptures on contentment, and think about what is true and lovely, we can experience God's peace and presence (Philippians 4:8-9). RELATED: 7 WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR WOMEN ON HOW TO THRIVE AS A MOM

My 10 Favorite Scriptures On Contentment For New Moms

I've found quite a few scriptures on contentment that help me in these moments. Even when I'm a trapped being strapped to a tiny human, if I can remember to turn to God's word, the Holy Spirit ushers me into the peace that is already ours in Christ. 1 Corinthians 7:17a "Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them." God has purpose for you to be where you are... lean into Him and inquire of Him when you question your situation. Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." To learn more on how God can keep your mind (and imagination) at peace through scriptures on contentment and changing your mindset, check out my "5 Days To Positive Thinking" Email Challenge here: START MY 5-DAY CHALLENGE 1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." It's amazing what happens when He lifts our burdens of anxiety off and carries them for us! 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." In motherhood, we come face to face with our biggest weaknesses. But that awareness doesn't have to crush us. Instead, it can help us walk into the loving arms of our Father who has power over our weaknesses and the ability to redeem any mistakes we make. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." We don't always get the big picture, but He does.

Let us rejoice today and be glad! Psalm 118:19-24 "Open for me the gates of the righteous; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord. This is the gate of the Lord through which the righteous may enter. I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation. The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes. The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad." When we focus on thankfulness, our mind can't continue to dwell on negativity. I like to think about 10 things I'm grateful for when I'm stuck in a rut and can't keep my mind of my struggles. Hebrews 13:5 "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" He is our Provider. We can trust that what we have is enough for today. RELATED: HOW TO FIND CONTENTMENT IN GOD (AS A TIRED MOM) 1 Timothy 6:6-7 "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it." There will always people in this world who have more than us, and people who have less. If we aren't content where we are, we won't be content when we have more or less in the future. Luke 12:15 "Then he said to them, 'Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.'" It's easy to be envious of what "everyone else" has, like the brand new version of the double stroller I got on Craig's List, or when I get the "got a minivan" text from an excited friend. I even have a minivan myself now, and while I love it, having it doesn't bring life. Philippians 4:12-13 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Paul is an amazing example of contentment here. Even through prison, persecution and separation from friends, he realized he could be content in the power of Christ. We can too!

The "5 Days To Positive Thinking" Email Challenge

I hope you enjoyed these scriptures on contentment! To grow even stronger in your ability to focus on truth, don't miss my "5 Days To Positive Thinking" Email Challenge! You'll get tools and guidance for exchanging negativity for truth and a positive mindset! Get access below:

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[magnificent-dragons]

Supercorp au fic

PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY HER SEXUALITY It was supposed to be a normal morning, Kara would head to her locker and get her books, and then she would head to homeroom. It all went sideways though, and rather quickly, as she tried to opened her locker, out of the corner of her vision she saw movement. Before she could move or turn out of the way a fist collided with the side of her face, it was not a hard hit, she had taken worse from school bullies. It shook her up though, as she dropped her bag on the ground. “ Oh my god Kara, I am so sorry,” the one and only Lena Luthor had punched her in the face. She was not mad, mostly because she could not focus on anything but the fact that Lena knew her name. Lena quickly came closer to Kara cupping the other girls face in her hands, Kara had yet to form any words as Lena looked at her face searching for any sign of injuries. Kara could not help but notice just how pretty Lena was, she was so much cuter than Mike, who was a few lockers down. She thought that she would much rather date Lena Luthor than date Mike Matthews, he was an asshole. ‘Damn i’m not straight!’ went through Kara’s mind as Lena looked at her, and wow did Lena have such beautiful eyes and her hands were so soft. Kara found herself leaning into Lena’s touch, although the other girl took it as Kara feeling faint and became even more worried for Kara’s well being. In the back ground Jack Sphere, was looking at the two he was between laughter and guilt. He and Lena were the best of friends Kara had never seen the two argue over anything before. “ I did not mean to punch you Kara, I am so sorry, Jack dodged, and my fist kindof just hit you,” the black haired girl turned Kara’s face, to check where the punch had landed more thoroughly. Lena ran her fingers gently over the side of Kara’s face. Kara was sure, that if the other girl could not see the blush that was creeping up her face, then she could most certainly feel how fast her heart was now racing. She tried to calm herself by breathing deeper and slowly, but it did nothing to help her situation. In the back ground, Jack had now started to laugh at the two of them. She had yet to say a word back to Lena unable to form and sentences. “Your hands are soft” Kara accidentally blurted out, she immediately moved away from Lena to cover her mouth, but Lena grabbed her hands, worry written across her face along with a slight blush that had managed to make it's way onto Lena’s face as well. “ thanks, but i think that you may have gotten a concussion or something,” Lena said, trying to check Kara’s eyes for dilation, and any other signs of a concussion. When she notice Kara’s perfect blue eyes were slightly more dilated than they should have been, she became more worried. If she had hurt the girl then not only would she end up having no chance with her crush, but she would also get detention or get suspended. “ I’m fine I promise.” Kara said, stuttering over her words trying to dissuade the other girls guilt at accidently punching her, Kara did wonder why Lena had been trying to punch Jack though. “ no, no, you aren't getting off that easy, miss Danvers,” Lena said, teasingly at Kara who was already trying to get back to her locker, and Lena was not about to let an injured Kara Danvers get herself even more injured. “ I'm fine Miss Luthor,” Kara jabbed back just as teasingly as the other girl had at her. Lena laughed a little, at Kara calling her Miss Luthor it was such a foreign sound to hear herself referred to as. “ No, I’m not going to believe that, until you have been checked out by the nurse,” Lena said, her voice authoritative. “ You don’t need to do that Lena, I’m sure you need to get to class.” Kara said, trying to dissuade Lena from her worry. “ so I will be late to homeroom, I would feel better knowing that you are ok.” Lena said, taking Kara’s hand and leading her down the hall towards the nurse's office. Kara was unable to keep her mind from wandering to how Lena was keeping her hand clasped in Kara’s. Kara stumbled along uncoordinatedly behind Lena, trying to keep up with the other girl. She managed to stay calm ish, while they walked down to the nurse's office. The two barely exchanged any words as they went along. Lena and Kara walked into the nurse’s office hand in hand, Lena was inwardly freaking out about whether or not she should let go of kara’s hand, or if she should keep holding it because kara was so warm, and she really liked holding Kara’s hand, but what if Kara did not like holding Lena’s hand. She shook herself out of her thoughts, she was not her mother she did not thrive on gay angst. “ what can I do for you two?” the nurse said, coming up to the duo looking them up and down searching for any major signs of injury immediately. “ Kara here accidentally got p---” “ I got hit by a locker door by accident,” Kara said interrupting Lena, Kara knew that the nurse would have to report Lena, if she was told that Lena punched another student, and Kara did not want to get Lena in trouble. “ oh did you now,” The nurse said rather sarcastically, usually kids did not come to her when they got hit by locker doors, most of the time they just shook it off and kept going. “ she got hit pretty hard, and she was a bit disoriented for a while, and she kind of seemed like she might have a concussion.” Lena said, trying to help Kara deal with the rather judgey nurse. “ ok I guess I can check you out go sit down,” the nurse motioned for Kara to sit on the seat. “ and you can go, get to home room,” she said to Lena. “ I want to stay with her, It’s my fault she is hurt in the first place.” Lena said, reaching out and once again holding Kara’s hand. from where the blonde sat on the chair she could see the determination on Lena’s face. The same determination that Lena had when arguing with a teacher over one of the answers on a test. It was one of the things she liked about Lena, the popular girl was never afraid to stand up for herself when she had been wronged. Kara looked up at Lena feeling her heart beat faster as the other girl stood her ground about staying by Kara’s side. “ Ok then, just stay out of my way.” the nurse said, as she went to grab the tool that shines in their eye. “I need you to look at this for me,” The nurse shone a light in Kara’s eye, causing Kara to startle a little bit and squeeze Lena’s hand. She had never dealt well with sudden things like lights or people suddenly talking to her from where she could not see. Lena seemed to notice, that in the moment and offered Kara a comforting squeeze back. Soon enough the nurse was done looking at Kara’s eyes. The two could hear the bell ring signaling the beginning of first period. “ I can’t tell if anything is wrong, but if you have any pain in your head or dizziness come back, and I can send you home.” the nurse said, she turned back to Lena and Kara looking for an acknowledgement from the blonde. “ got it.” Lena said speaking for both of them. “ now let me get you two a pass for first period.” she quickly wrote down a pass for both of the girls and handed it over to them, before shooing them out of the office. “ thanks for coming with me,” Kara said her hand still intertwined with Lena’s as they leisurely made their way down the hall. “ it is my fault you got punched, the least I could do was take you to the nurse Kara,” Lena said it as if it was the simplest thing, but to Kara ,who most people would not even give her the time of day, it meant the world. “ I have taken a lot worse punches by other people here” she said, off handedly trying to make Lena feel better about the whole situation. Stopping in her tracks and pulling Kara back, due to the blonde having not stopped walking, she looked at the other girl with complete shock written on her face. Shock turned to worry in an instance as Kara looked at Lena with an expression that showed that it was not just a one time thing that had happened to Kara. “ wait one second, who?” Lena said, trying to get Kara to spill the beans on whoever had laid a hand on her. “ it really doesn't matter” Kara said, ducking her head and closing herself off again. Lena looked offended by the idea that anything that happened to Kara did not matter. “ it really does Kara” Lena said, pressing the subject further her worry for the blonde had grown immensely since they had left the nurse's office. She was starting to get mad, not at Kara, but at whatever ass hole had decided to hurt this walking ray of sunshine, that would never hurt a fly. “ please don't I really don't want to talk about it.” Kara said her voice pleading and desperate. It made Lena’s heart melt. “ Ok, ok” Lena relented, although she vowed that she would be keeping an eye out for anyone trying to hurt the blonde, and she would make sure that they had hell to pay. No one would be able to hurt Kara if she had any say in it. “Thank you, Lena” Kara said softly. Lena usually like the sound of Kara saying her name but this time it struck a chord in her heart with how weak and frail the blonde sounded. “Well I have to get to class i’m going to check in on you later ok,” Lena said putting her hand on Kara’s shoulder. Lena walked away, and went to grab her backpack up from in front of her locker before making her way into the latin class. Kara slowly walked to her locker, mulling over her new revelation in her head, she guessed that her feelings toward Lena weren't that of jealousy but that of having a crush on the other girl, it was no wonder that she had never been able to hate the girl even though she had long since been trying to convince herself that was what the feelings were. Opening her locker three books fell out onto Kara’s head, surprising her usually she was able to catch the books before they fell on her, but she was far to occupied trying to get over the fact that lena had been late to class for Kara, Lena had held her hand, Lena had worried over her well being. She got her books together trying to focus, after all she had a math quiz to take. Kara walked into the classroom, and Mr.Jenson was not pleased with her, he hated when people were late he gave her an angry look as she handed him her note. She went over to her seat in the middle of the class, she sat between James and Jack. If it were up to her she would be up a few math classes, as the things they had her doing here felt like it was for preschoolers. Kara had been told by her foster parents, that she needed to hide her genius from the world, although her powers had not fully come in yet, giving away how much math and science she knew would draw suspicion and too much attention to her. So Kara pretended to struggle with simple subjects that she used to excel at while on Krypton. “ are you ok Kara,” Jack said leaning over his desk to check on her. The two rarely talked but Jack was a nice guy, she knew that Jack and Lena were practically best friends and inseparable the whole school used to think that they were dating, but Kara knew differently after all she had a locker next to him and Christina since fourth grade. “ yeah I’m fine, no damage done” She whispered back. Jack opened his mouth to respond to Kara but was cut short. “ quite I am passing out the quiz you talk you get a zero.” Mr. Jenson bellowed around the room. He passed the quiz down the rows, she tried to be slow filling in the answers although she could have solved all of them in a millisecond, if she wanted to. She had a method of filling in tests she would compile the answers in her head first, and then go back before even making a mark on the page and do them again, then finally fill them in. wait a few minutes and then turn in her quiz, it had always made her the second or third person to get up and turn in the test or quiz. She took her quiz up to the front of the room and put it in on top of the first one, Jack’s, Jack almost always was the first person to turn in the test or quiz. She sat back in her seat and pulled out a book to read, she saw that Jack had managed to sneak his phone into the class and he was texting Lena. She did not mean to look at who he was texting but she still saw it. The simple thought of the brunettes name filled her head with the feeling of Lena’s hand in hers. The book that Kara had pulled out was, useless as no matter how much she stared at the page she could not get her mind to focus on reading all she could think of was Lena. how her green eyes shone brightly whenever she talked about science. The way the brunette walked with such confidence, how she did not care what others said about her she always kept her head up high. How had Kara not seen it sooner, she could not think of a time she did not find Lena to be beautiful. She was always beautiful, Kara had just always mistaken her thoughts of the other woman’s beauty for that of envy or anger. A.N. Ok so I got this idea in my head cause someone wrote imagine your otp on my post about how I found out I wasn't straight by getting punched and so then this happened I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes

[aboutelan-blog]

5/24/17

Novel behavior occurs when we’ve tried everything and failed, but we come up with a new idea in the process. Failures leads to a new idea we would not have considered before. It’s a novel idea or a novel behavior.

When you come against a problem, we’re looking for a reward (i.e., when a door is locked – the problem – opening the door is the reward).

We have to train ourselves to fail so we can learn how to bounce back.

I’m feeling simultaneously angry, riled up, and hyper.

I wouldn’t be able to tell you why.

These feelings could have something to do with my period or nerves about my big film project Saturday. It’s only 2 days away.

Either way, I miss Zach and I want him to come back to me. A part of me wishes things would have happened differently, the other part of me is saying be careful what you wish for. .

I just want to scream “Come back Zach!”...”I’m different now…” “Don’t marry her.”

Yet, I also have to give myself space to heal and to triumph. I’ve already driven parts of me mad with passion for a guy I barely knew, while embracing the madness of my art, the visionary part of me that can also get a little crazy and distorted.

Today, I am bonkers and I just need someone like Zach to take it out on. The image I have of you Zach is what I miss and whom I love. Who knows if that’s the real you because I didn’t get to know you all too well.

Dear dad,

Make Zach like me, fix me. Complete me with your love. Today, I hurt. I hurt because I long more than on other days, but I guess this is all part of recovery.

Acknowledging the wounds and tending to them so they can heal. If ignored for too long, who knows how long it could fester for, mulled over in a stink and pus. I have to keep cleaning out this sore, even though it becomes irritated at first touch.

The pain is only temporary. Jehovah, please fix me.

I want to act out in rebellion until I’m saved, until I’m new.

I need a moment to reunited with who I am. Sometimes, the pain is all I know and I have to be OK with that. Can I forgive you today dad? Does a mad woman have clarity? I will give you all that I have left, just as God has forgiven me, I forgive you.

Elan

** It’s OK to let myself off the hook. Process of self-love and forgiveness.

“We all have to be brave enough to wonder.” - New Leaf blog.

The goal is to be brave and surrender to the alignment of the universe. If we try to control everything, we end up creating resistance to the natural flow of things, and what’s meant to be. (Inspired by Gabrielle Bernstein).

“Life is the dance, we are the dance.” - Eckhart Tolle

We are the product of live and we have to accept its natural harmony and rhythm in order to be in alignment with what it has in store for us.

5 Steps to Surrender (Gabrielle Bernstein)

1)    Pray and pray for the highest good of all.

2)    Focus on what’s thriving in my life.

3)    Obstacles are detours in the right direction.

a)    “The wound is the place where light enters you.” - Rumi

This could be the opportunity to start to love myself some more. Instead of focusing on loving Zach, I can give myself all the attention I need to heal and also to mend the spiritual relationship with my father.

I can now consciously investigate my intentions behind liking Zach and in this – in a way – unhealthy attachment I have to him.

I’ve been given the opportunity to explore more about me and open up to me. An obstacle course, but an obstacle course with a plan nonetheless.

“Let’s reorganize our obstacles into opportunities.” - Gabrielle Bernstein

4)  As for a sign. When we ask we will receive. The universe is always talking; are we listening?

The above is scary because what if we don’t get the answer we want. I have to remember that’s OK. We ARE NOT in control and that’s for good reason. We may not hear what we want, but we hear what we need.

Also, we can ask for a sign that we’re on the right path and moving in the right direction.

5) When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender more.

“Thank you universe from taking from us what we are not willing to give way.”

In the midst of my uncertainty, Jehovah, you are my safety line, my rock, my shepard. There is the guidance of no one that I value more. In the name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Dear dad,

I want to write you a letter tonight before I doze off. I did not forget about you last night. I was overcome with fatigue after rehearsal, wardrobe fittings, entertaining, adn staying up late to work on a shot list, which I had to teach myself how to put together. The shoot is only hours away.

I thought about you though and hold you in my prayers. You are my North Star to healing and I honor you. I hope you can forgive me for not treating you better or acknowledging your pain. In some instances, I probably made you feel worse.

I’m sorry. You didn’t need that. You need love and a supportive environment and I pray that Jehovah can help you find that.

You can share some of my spirit of comfort and grace as I know we’re all connected.

I’m growing to a point where one day I will be able to love you without the pain. I can’t change you and I won’t beat myself up trying, but I can love you without conditions and with forgiveness.

I give myself permission to fail. I give myself permission to forgive. I give myself permission to heal. Dad, I forgive you. Mom, I forgive you. Jehovah, I forgive you. Elan, I forgive you. Let the Holy Spirit usher me into healing and transformation. I forgive you dad, I forgive you.

Dear Zoren,

I’ve been grappling with the harsh reality that you only wanted me for hookups. I’m broken to have liked you and in some ways, both saddened and angry that I let you in. You were a vulture and could sense my weakness and insecurities, feeding off of that.

I’m not sure what pain you’ve been dealt, but I hope that you find the healing you’ve been searching for, and with that inner turmoil peace.

I forgive you.