#god knows how many drafts i am from the 'end' but i am a hell of a lot closer than i was two drafts ago lol !

[hideyseek]

bravely did my writing for today ... time to eat five million bowls of butter chicken :3

[ellecdc]

love, you HAVE to continue the moonwater x pregnant reader who are announcing the pregnancy with a very dramatic barty and over enthusiastic sirius

say less (this was supposed to be a short little blurb, how'd it end up being so long? [it's cuz they're dramatic])

poly!moonwater x pregnant!reader who tell their friends // 2nd trimester

The first sound you heard when you, Remus, and Regulus stepped through the floo at Potter manor was the sound of Harry squealing in delight.

“Again, Pa’foo! Again!” The toddler cheered as Sirius, who was laying on the floor on his back, took Harry’s hands in his and lifted his godson up into the air by his feet.

“Quick, Red! What are those muggle flying thingies called again!?” Sirius shouted through the apartment. 

You chuckled at the sight as Regulus tried passing you a sweater on account of “the many drafts in Potter manor” which you quickly refused. “I think you’re looking for aeroplane, Sirius.” 

Sirius leaned his head back further so he was looking at you upside down and offered you a flirty grin.

Before he was able to say anything too salacious, Harry squealed and launched himself at you.

“Auntie!”

“Hi Haz!” You cheered back, bending down to hold the child to your chest. “Having fun?”

Harry confirmed that he was as he moved to hug Remus and Regulus before tearing off to tell his parents that everyone was here.

Sirius accepted Remus’ hand up and they clapped each other on the back in what Regulus has dubbed a “bro hug” that he was “zero percent interested in ever receiving, thank you”.

“Nice of you all to finally show up. V’been here for hours already.” Sirius taunted.

“He’s a sodding liar.” You heard Lily say as the four of you made your way to the dining room where Harry was already sitting in his booster seat and shoving food into his mouth by means of one baby fork and one pudgy hand. “He’s been here for five minutes maybe.”

Sirius scoffed. “You’re no fun, Red. I didn’t even get to see the little twitch in Reggie’s jaw at the thought of having held everyone up.”

“Sod off.” Regulus hissed as he smacked his brother upside the head.

“Lily! Regulus just hit me!” He cried, rubbing the back of his head.

“Squealer.” Regulus muttered darkly and took a seat as Remus pulled out a chair for you in the place beside him.

You didn’t realise how quiet the room had gotten until after Remus had pushed your chair back in underneath you and took a seat to your opposite side. You looked up to notice all eyes were on you.

“What the hell is going on?” Lily asked bluntly.

“What do you mean?” You asked, though your voice sounded relatively high.

Sirius let out a disbelieving laugh. “That one?” He said as he pointed an accusatory finger towards his brother. “That one had etiquette lessons drilled into him from the moment he could walk. This one?” He continued, moving his finger to Remus. “Is the least gentlemanly man I’ve ever met.”

Remus let out a simultaneously hysterical and offended laugh as he looked cautiously towards you and Regulus. “I am too a gentleman!”

“You’ve never once pulled out my chair, Moony.” James accused with narrowed eyes.

“And why in the hells would he pull out your chair, Potter?” Regulus sneered.

“A gentleman would.” Lily argued.

“He would not!” Remus countered.

“Only an un-gentleman would say such a thing, Moons.”

“You’ve lost the plot, Sirius.”

“Are you pregnant?” Lily whispered, causing the table to fall silent again as everyone returned their attention to you.

You looked awkwardly between Remus and Regulus again; this isn’t exactly how you’d planned to tell them. You were hoping to have at least made it through your meal before you opened up the discussion, knowing there would be plenty of questions. 

You don’t know why you even bothered to make plans with this lot; getting just about anything done was guaranteed to be nothing short of chaos. 

“Oh, my gods. You are.” She breathed out in disbelief, a grin spreading across her face.

“Shut up.” James said as he slammed his hands down on the table, looking between you, Regulus, and Remus imploringly. “Shut up; no you’re not. Are you? Are you really?”

You let out an emotional laugh and nodded, looking down to your lap where you were nervously wringing your hands before one of Remus’ joined the mix.

“Oh my gods!” James shrilled as Lily let out an excited squeal.

“How far along are you? What are your cravings? Have you had terrible morning sickness? How far along are you?” Lily asked in rapidfire.

“Okay, okay. Salazar, take it easy.” Regulus admonished placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “We’re almost fourteen weeks now. The cravings change almost every week, but this week it’s been spicy foods.”

This earned you all an indignant scoff from James at having spicy cravings and not going to him for recipes.

“Which has been awful for the heart burn.” Remus noted lovingly causing you to flush impossibly further. 

“Morning sickness has been a bit of an issue.” Regulus continued.

“And is usually an issue well throughout the rest of the day and evening as well.” Remus added. 

“Fourteen weeks!?” Sirius finally screeched, looking at the three of you in faux admonishment. “You’ve known for fourteen weeks that I was going to be an uncle-”

“Again.” James corrected quietly.

“Again.” Sirius agreed without breaking his stare with his brother. “...that I was going to be an uncle again for fourteen weeks, and you didn’t bother to tell me!?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Sirius.” Regulus scoffed dismissively. “We’ve only known for almost eight weeks.”

“Eight weeks!?” James and Sirius chorused.

“I needed to be shopping seven weeks ago.” Sirius squawked.

Remus titled his head at his friend. “Why only seven weeks?”

“I’d need at least a week recovering from the fact that you’ve defiled my brother.”

You and Remus scoffed at that. 

“Defiled him?” You begged incredulously at the same time as Remus muttered “I wouldn’t be surprised if this was his doing.”

James gasped dramatically at that. “Do you know who the other parent is?”

“James!” Lily and Remus chided at the same time.

“Now, Potter. Generally, when three people love each other very much, and they bring a child into the world, they’d all be parents.” Remus explained as if it had been Harry who asked the question.

“Sod off, that’s not what I meant. Is it going to be a Black? A little cub?” He carried on, sucking the air out of the room.

James always meant to say the nicest things, they just never came out quite right; and this time, he’d struck a bit of a nerve.

Fortunately, Sirius never allowed moments to stay awkward for long.

He groaned in disgust. “Never mind that; the child is damned either way. Do you know if it’s going to be a girl or a boy?”

You snorted at that as both Remus and Regulus harrumphed quietly and sat back in their chairs. 

“It’s a little early for that, Pads.” Lily explained.

“The boys are divided on what the sex of the baby is going to be so they’re not going to find out until the baby is born.” You explained, causing Sirius to grin mischievously. 

“They’re not going to find out, you say?”

“But you are?” James asked excitedly.

“Yeah, I’ll find out at the 16 week checkup.” 

“Don’t even think about it.” Remus warned Sirius and James who both squawked in protest.

“Absolutely not; if Remus and I aren’t finding out, neither are you two.” Regulus proclaimed. 

“Fine, but I want in on the bets; who’s betting on which sex?” James asked as he leaned his elbows onto the table - nearly right into his mashed potatoes.

“The sex of my baby is not a bet!” Regulus protested as Remus said “I think it’s a girl.”

Both Sirius and James hummed as they leaned back in their chairs and Lily scrutinised you. 

“I think it’s a girl, too.” She claimed.

“Yeah I’m with Moony.” Sirius said as he brought his glass of wine to his mouth.

“Moony!?” James hollered. “After it took us 700 years to convince him we’d be fine on full moons and we’d been right and he’d been wrong? Nope.” He said with a pop of the p. “I’m putting my money with Baby Black.”

“Never call me that again, Potter.” Regulus muttered.

“Who all knows?” Lily asked as the conversation relaxed and you all began eating.

“No one.” You admitted. “You guys were the first people we’ve told.”

Lily made a sweet cooing sound as James and Sirius (and then Harry) cheered.

“Wait wait wait!” Sirius interrupted. “Does Junior not know!?”

You and Regulus grimaced as Remus barked a laugh.

“That’s next on her list.” Regulus answered, evading any responsibility of his oldest friend onto you.

“My list?!”

“He’s your friend.” He argued.

“He was your friend, first.”

“Yeah but he’d literally push me in front of a stampede of Hippogriffs for you.”

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself, Regulus; he’d push anyone in front of a stampede of Hippogriffs for fun.” You countered darkly, picking up the glass of wine that had been sitting in front of you before you realised what you were doing and Remus quickly plucked it from your hands and replaced it with a glass of water.

“Perhaps, but he wouldn’t push you in front of a stampede of hippogriffs, would he?” Regulus challenged, raising a perfectly arched black eyebrow at you.

He was so handsome it pissed you right off.

“You’re actually going to leave your pregnant girlfriend to the hyenas?” 

“I’m not leaving my girlfriend to the hyenas.” Regulus scoffed and turned back to his plate. “I’m only leaving her to one.”

Like the absolute sodding bastard that Regulus was, he really did leave you alone to the hyena. He claimed he had a meeting with the Wizengamot he couldn’t miss, but you claimed bullshit.

And the longer you and Barty travelled between the shops on Oxford street, the more you were beginning to lose your nerve.

He was your best friend; why were you afraid of him?

“The fuck are you looking at you stupid fucking tosser? I’ll rearrange your organs; keep walking!” He spat at someone he decided looked at the pair of you either too strangely or for too long, you’d never know.

Right….that was why.

Suddenly, Barty gasped dramatically and grabbed your arm rather roughly. “You know what we should do?”

“What?”

“We should get matching tattoos!” He said with a beaming smile. 

You patted his cheek in a way that if even his own boyfriend had tried it, he’d have been bitten, but you were just rewarded with him leaning into it. “Barty, how many matching tattoos do we have?”

“Thirteen. Why?” He answered readily. 

You laughed again, and took both of his hands in yours. “Actually, Barty. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“I knew it.”

“What?”

“You’re sick and tired of Reg and Lupin and you’re ready to run away with me. I’ve got passports and bags packed at the ready; we’ll start a new life in New Zealand.” He explained nearly all in the same breath.

“No! What? No, Barty I-”

“Oh my gods, you killed one of them, didn’t you? It was an accident; no, they deserved it, I’m certain of it. You need help hiding the body?”

“Barty!”

“Both of them, Treasure? That’s okay, I think there’s enough room in the Crouch family plot to hide them.”

“Barty! I’m pregnant.” You finally admitted, watching as Barty cut himself off mid sentence to stare at you blankly. 

You were sure it was about 26 seconds of Barty staring intensely into your eyes with his hands gripped tightly in yours before those eyes flit down to your stomach.

It was another approximately 34 seconds where his eyes flit between both of yours and your stomach before he had his arms around your waist and was carrying you off to gods knows where.

“Barty Crouch Junior! You put me down right now!” You demanded.

He pfft’d at you and hiked you up further under his arm. “Fat chance; last time I left you alone for any amount of time, you got yourself knocked up.”

“Bartemus!”

With an overly dramatic sigh, Barty placed you down onto a bench on the street and crouched down in front of you.

“You’ve been pregnant all day and you let me drag you all around kingdom come?” He implored, shaking your shoulders gently. “You have two men at home; do they know you are out on your feet like this?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Give me your cellular device.” He demanded, holding his hand out expectantly.

“Barty, seriously I-”

“The cellular device, witch!” He squawked with an impatient snap of his fingers.

You knew better at this point in your friendship than to argue with Barty when he got like this, and handed him your phone.

He looked at it for a few moments before hastily handing it back to you. “Make it ring Lupin, and Regulus too. I know you two convinced him to get one; he’s always text messaging Evan.”

You sighed and did as asked, organising a three-way call between you and the boys before Barty ripped it back out of your hands and held it to his ear.

“Yes, hello, am I speaking to one-half of the dumbest duo in all of the British Isles?” He spat into the phone.

“Yes, and hello Lupin, thanks for joining this call. There’s an emergency.”

You cringed at Barty’s very purposeful word choice when you heard the voices of both your boyfriends pick up in volume over the phone.

“Yes, well, you best hurry. We’re near the Disney Store on Oxford St.” Barty demanded before hanging up and looking at you excitedly. “We should go to the Disney Store!”

“What have you done?”

Barty didn’t have a chance to answer before you heard two snaps of apparition from an alleyway a few shops away from you and you saw your two boyfriends running over.

“Dove!” 

“What’s the matter!?” Regulus demanded, crouching next to your form immediately as Remus knelt directly in front of you.

“Well hello to you too, boys. Merlin you’re with rude blokes, Treasure.”

Regulus’ silver gaze darted menacingly to Barty. “You told us there was an emergency.”

“Are you okay, dove? What’s wrong?” Remus asked you quietly. You offered him a reassuring smile before Barty carried on in his theatrics. 

“There is an emergency, you knobhead. You’ve not only defiled this beautiful flower; you’ve allowed her to walk for kilometres with her condition!”

“Condition!?” You and Regulus squawked at the same time.

“Junior.” Remus admonished with a tired sigh. “She’s barely five months along and-”

“Five months!? You’ve been keeping this from me for five months!?” He beseeched as he turned his ire onto you.

“And,” Remus raised his voice. “It’s good for her to stay active; it keeps her and the baby strong and healthy.”

And didn’t that just shut Barty up.

“Hey. Yeah I’m alright thanks, how are you?” Regulus said into his phone, causing the three of you to all look over at him.

“Yeah, can you come pick your boyfriend up, please? Oxford Street near the Disney Store. Right. Okay, thanks. Bye.”

He pocketed his phone and looked at Barty with no lack of vexation.

“Now why would you call my boyfriend, Black?” Barty asked as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, causing you to scoff at the hypocrisy. 

“You feeling okay, dove?” Remus asked again, squeezing your elbow gently with and looking at you with eyes so full of love and concern you felt like you were going to implode.

“I’m okay; we’re okay.” You insisted, causing him to let out a relieved breath and press his forehead to your abdomen. 

“What have you done now, Junior?” Evan drawled as he casually walked towards the four of you with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Barty stomped over to his boyfriend and plucked the smoke from his lips and vanished it disturbingly close to the muggles brushing past the two of them.

“We’re in one of those moods, are we?” Evan looked Barty up and down disapprovingly. 

“She’s pregnant.” Barty emphasised, throwing a dramatic arm out behind him to gesture at you causing a passing man to have to duck lest he be clotheslined. 

“Oh, bet? Congrats.” Evan said, nodding to the three of you.

“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Barty said with a stomp of his foot.

Evan simply rolled his eyes before he picked his boyfriend up and threw him over his shoulder. “Right, let's get you home.”

“Treasure! You need anything, anything, and you ring me, yeah? Get Regulus to give you Evan’s number. EVAN, TAKE ME TO A MOBILE STORE!” 

Their forms disappeared behind a building a few moments before you heard a snap of apparition and you all let out a sigh of relief.

“You’re really okay, dovie?” Remus asked again, a protective hand cupping the nape of your neck and his other hand resting against your waist.

“Just fine, bubs.” You assured him, pressing a kiss to his nose. You were rewarded with Remus relaxing his shoulders and Regulus letting out another sigh of relief.

“Well, I think that went rather well.” You offered cheerfully.

That earned you an unimpressed glare from both boys.

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

'Who am I to Complain?'

As part of my own contribution to this year's first day of Spring 2024, aka the in universe birthday of one Richard John Grayson-Wayne, the First Robin and the crime fighter known as Nightwing, I would like this opportunity finally....FINALLY...posting up for you all a fic that's been in my drafts for pretty much the better part of any entire year. Originally meant on being released last Christmas, various forms of delay, writer's block and other general distractions have prevented me from finally finishing such a project. Well finally after such anticipation at least on my end, I have managed creating a final form for this story I think can satisfy.

For very quick context, this story is a component of my long running idea proposing and lore building of my own version of the DC Comics Universe. In particular, it takes within the long storyline both @thattimdrakeguy and I have crafted for the better part of two years, the first part being involved within the hypothetical Nightwing solo book, 'Clipped Wings' and its follow up crossover with Detective Comics proper, "Blue Hawk Down'. For more information regarding the general summaries of events, check out the links here and here.

I shall like to dedicate this story to my mutuals and friends @adalineozie @meara-eldestofthemall @nightglider124 @faesystem @confusedhummingbird @spider-jaysart @mothnem @lightdusk96 @camo-wolf @sbd-laytall @theredheaded-stuff @celaenaeiln @starlightbelle @shootingstarssel @avaraydrake @pin-crusher2000 @sillymanwithocs @batboyblog @bluegarners @tarisilmarwen @orange-s-mario @altinyns-multimedia-museblog @katmaatui and so many others

Constructive Criticisms are Generally Welcome; Replies and Especially Reblogs are greatly appreciated

The Following May Contain Graphic Scenes of Violence, References to Sexual Assault and other themes not suitable for a Young Audience. Viewer Discretion is Heavily Advised

As per usual, All Rights and Copyrights to Characters and Concepts seen in this work are owned by DC Comics, Inc, a subsidiary of DC Entertaiment and Warner Bros. Discovery

With all that....Happy Birthday Dick Grayson....Here's my gift of Grade A angst for you

Sigh. Cough Cough

Look at yourself. Just Honest to God, Dick, just look at yourself.

Take a good look at those cuts, that blood all over your ugly as hell face, that blood pouring out of your stupid, big fat hole you call a mouth. You wanna know who’s Goddamn fault it was for all this? You wanna know who's responsible for you being more pathetic and a freak than you already are? Cough Cough

You.

Don’t try to deny it. Why should you? 

After all, you allowed this to happen to you, right? Not just with what happened tonight but over these last few weeks. You know what I’m talking about. Losing your home and failing to find out how despite insisting you paid for it. What will Kory Cough say now when she comes back and sees that home you wanted to allow her into isn’t even yours anymore? What kind of fiance are you to allow that? 

  Why stop there? Here you are, without any place to call a house, your face gushing and oozing red as it had been lately, broke, nobody likes you, not a single damn soul cares about you. You wanna know who’s fault it is? Yours. In fact, as you right now are flinging that bottle of peroxide into your ugly face and stinging from it as you deserve, how about we explore what even happened tonight that led to this, shall we? 

  I think I should…Cough

 Three Hours Earlier….

 BAM 

“Ack!” 

“Tell Us Goddamnit, You Blue Wearing Cunt!!” 

As if I would. How do I tell these bastards where the hell Bruce is if I wasn’t even able to speak to him for weeks by now? 

I know what you’re thinking, ‘but are you his…’

Stop right there right now. If you’re gonna pull that whole ‘you’re his son’  bullshit on me, for one thing, at the very most I was adopted, I ain’t his real kid. I never deserved being his real kid at all given who we are. Another thing too; if he were to come to my help, he would’ve done so about…God knows how many times by now lately. I would handle it anyways, what kind of person needs any sort of father or even friends when it was their own damn fault they wound up taking two  bullets to the hamstrings? 

Why yes, that’s what I’m going through and yes it was my Goddamn fault being this utterly stupid and an utter embarrassment with my training for getting caught by those sickos like I was. Now you are thinking, everyone has an off day and…

BAM BAM BAM BAM 

Crap! Two on the calves and two more on my hamstrings, I can tell. 

“Motherfucker….” Damn it all they weren’t supposed to hear that. Great, now they laugh at it. 

The hell’s wrong with me? There’s no time to let them know what’s going with my nerves acting up. 

“You know, guys” (Cough) Keep it in, Grayson! You got something to say these assholes need to hear Damnit! “ You’re getting absolutely nowhere right now. If I knew where Batman was, I still wouldn’t tell you. So what the hell makes you think I do then after an hour and…” 

“Shut the fuck up, Birdfreak!” 

BAM

A kick right to my face? Yeah, another in my long line of failures and that one was justified; I should’ve seen that one coming. Hey, compared to the bullet holes though, it’s nothing really. Besides why even be hurt by that when I have this lowlife staring directly at my ugly mug of a face right now? 

“You know him, more than us here! You have to know where he went! We got a sweet little gig here and I ain’t rushing to see that pointy eared son of a dick trying to ruin it! ‘Sides, you’re in our hands now, so you see; once we’re all done here one way or another, we can get that dough from the cops since they’re looking for you more than us! Now you tell us if he knows about this place and if he’s coming, will ya?! We ain’t got all night and I’m missing my game!” 

Sweet little gig? As in the child trafficking operation they got here right now? Some of those children right behind me behind a cage like animals, forced to see me pinned on my torso and face, taking crap in many ways from them? They call that ‘sweet’ in mine and their faces?! 

“You calling that a game? Selling kids to sexual slavery? I really hate to see what’ll be your idea for a movie if that’s what you.re saying” That quip, I couldn’t help, it was damn true and these creeps needed to hear that. It was about as much a fact as Bruce hates me right now and rightfully so. 

Yet all they do is laugh even harder than before. They’re really….really starting to get on my nerves. 

Their ringleader grins ever so much in my face. His disgusting and unbearable cigarette smoke billows in my face. “So what?”  

So what? So what?? Is that really your best retort to me? It’s unbelievable, just what kind of devils and evils dwell in this city. But it’s evil I hunt for every single night. No one around me sees what I have to or does what I do around these parts. Not Bruce, not Tim, not Kory, no Donna….no one. On that note,  no one should have to. Maybe it’s my failure to stop evil like this and everything I do, everything so wrong and never good enough, that’s why I’m certain Bruce decided just to cut me off. 

No job, no place I can call a house or a home to stay in, no money, no spare clothes, no answering my calls, nothing. It’s been about three months of this so far, a three month test to see if I break if I had nothing, only for the big bad bat wanting me to literally cry my way back home to him. You know what? Screw you too, Bruce. Or whoever was doing all this. I know that, even for you Bruce, ins outs of everything, even you normally won’t stoop this low. It’s not just nothing I’ve been trying to figure out suggests otherwise. Maybe it’s just this….paranoia….no I can’t be paranoid. What’s happening is real and I need to deal with it and…

“Hey Cockscuker, you listening to me??” 

Oh right, this asshole. 

Looking at him, I can’t help myself but make my eyes go towards his own. What does he think would work now to make me talk? 

In his hands was some sort of object. It looks bladed, I can tell based on the glistening of the steel coming from the moonlight coming in through the window. Once he gets a bit closer, I see it now….oh of course….a damn pizza cutter. Oh and just my luck too, in his other hand is a goddamn cheese grater. I guess either this warehouse is for kitchen  tools or just my karma telling me how much I fucking suck and rightfully so again. Maybe the latter. 

The asshole only grins at me. “Okay then, maybe some…slices can get ya to talk. What do you say?” 

I take a deep breath and brace my teeth within my mouth. No use crying out, screaming or any of that weakness than I already showed earlier . This frankly I deserve, and come on. 

I’ve taken a few swings from a baseball bat from Two Face, got injected with Slade’s nanoscopic probes that were shredding my cells inside and out, got blasted by an alternate Luthor, forcibly swallowed a heart paralyzing pill by Slade and the actual Luthor (that bald cunt)….and now just a circular blade and a metal sheet with blades on it on my forehead and face?

Seems fitting enough to take; whatever I’ve done and didn’t do in my vow to protect the innocent and never strive off the path of justice, being a terrible friend, never good enough for Batman as I had always been, letting the only two people that actually had any right to care for me fall to the sandy and hard floor, shattering almost every bone in their bodies when I had only one job to do which was catch them….yeah this is appropriate. This is exactly what I deserve after all of that. Losing my home, my job, and my means to do basically anything for myself, I deserve that.

Who am I to complain, really? 

  Back at the Present Day….

   Sssszzzz….

“Ah Fuck!” 

Peroxide…it never fails to emit any sort of sting on any sort of cut, don’t it, Dick? 

Oh but you gonna start cussing and feeling it now? What the hell’s wrong with you? You can’t handle just a tiny sting of this shit without any yells? 

Suck it up, will ya? You’re acting like a spoiled brat. 

Who are you to complain about really?

Oh and by the way, there goes the last of our Peroxide, just circling down this old bathroom sink drain into God knows sewer pipes along with the blood it splashed off. You're gonna have to fetch some more, Dick. It’s not like Bruce is gonna get us anymore. 

Fuck Him. 

We’ve been putting up with his shit every since we lost are damn place to stay in, then our jobs all over this city, villain after villain breaking out, us being blamed for the Mayor, his wife and girl getting ripped to shreds and blood all over one day with one of your Wingdings, making you hunted down from pretty much everyone (for what only $1.5 Billion Alive? Oh c’mon that's too generous of a bounty for you. I’d put myself at about only 25 cents given your piss poor track record); You know for sure Bruce did all this, all behind the scenes, pulling every string he can to get us like this. 

 And why? Letting him know that you can take care of ourselves that one time and him being this offended by it? Well, fuck it, You’ve been showing him alright! Things are shittybut maybe that’s just how he likes it for you. Nothing gonna change that anytime soon; might as well make it the best for you, because it’s all you can do by now. 

  So now, no shoes, no fucking good socks at all, only one pair of torn sweats, that black tee, suit and toothbrush in your bag, here in this damn blizzard….every breathe getting…heavier….kinda….getting hard to stay awa…Cough Cough Cough

  Hey! Cut it out, Dickface! Cough Keep going at least somewhere! Anywhere out of this snow…so much of it….Wait, that spot there, in this alley. That’ll work for now. 

You hear that, laying on this backpack now….yeah this’ll work….at least not being out in that wind, though…..so much snow….it’s everywhere. It’s been everywhere these last few days. Fitting really, since well you do hear that right?

  C’mon pick it up, Dick, your ears can’t be that piss poor 

Cough

  “May I, as your new Mayor, wish us all in this dear Bludhaven…..”

   Yeah, there it is…..old Mafia boss now politician giving his speech for what today is. 

    “A Good…Merry ... .Christmas…!” 

   Okay, you get the idea. At least that’s one thing you got right….

   Getting sleepy now….

…...pretty cold…..tomorrow might be better….

But at least that’s one thing, Dick….

…this damn city….all of its people….they got a good Christmas….

Gotta close your eyes now…..

Wait….that the Redbird….isn't that….can’t be Timmy…..

Cough Cough

 Heh…looks like he tripped…Not real though….can’t be…..Bruce doesn’t care….you don’t need him…..but yeah….need rest…..you gave them a good Christmas 

Who…am….I….to….Cough…..Complain?

[draculasfavoritewife]

Miguel O'Hara x Reader Headcanons

Summary: How you and Miguel found yourselves in a situationship of sorts.

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x fem!Spider!Reader

Warnings: Miguel gets angry when he's worried (it's a canon event guys). A very sultry kiss and implied smut towards the end. Me using far too many of the adjectives at my disposal just to describe this man and all the things he makes me feel.

I went and saw Across the Spiderverse TWICE in a week while it was in my hometown, and immediately started drafting fic for this goddamn gorgeous problem of a man 🔥 He just gave me too much to work with and I may or may not have spent entire months watching every single compilation I could find for "scientific inspiration". For my headcanon purposes, reader is a spider-hero as well, but I left her pretty vague on purpose -- feel free to fill in her costume/powers/skill set with your own spidersona :)

*Spanish translations at the end! (I am fairly bilingual, but if I made a lil mistake here or there do forgive me)

• He would say he had no idea when or how it started -- you, on the other hand, were taken by him from the first time he gave you his whole "canon" spiel.

• How could you not be? He towered above you, body chiseled like a Greek God, angular face equal parts weary and arrogant.

• And that voice -- rich and smooth as a silky black coffee -- it would be safe to say you were pretty smitten right away.

• To his surprise, you worked your way into his inner circle fairly quickly for a new recruit. Although you definitely had your own opinions, you knew when and how to push his boundaries and when he wasn't in the mood for it.

• Soon he trusted you to handle yourself with minimal supervision from him -- and maybe that trust was the beginnings of it for him. Because even though he recognized your competence, he still found himself continually assigning you to his personal strike squad, not to look after you, but because you somehow didn't annoy the hell out of him.

• Which comes in handy for everyone else after a while, because soon that translates over to you soothing the proverbial beast when he's biting the heads off of the more sensitive Spiders.

"How could you be so STUPID -- !"

"Okay, Miguel, I think they got the point."

"But they -- !"

"I know. They know. It's okay, let's all just take a breath."

"¡Ay coño! Nadie me oye. Todos son idiotas."

But he does back off, and does take a breath, and everyone else stares at you like you're the second coming of Christ.

• Your fascination and admiration for the intense head of the Society soon turns to a genuine enjoyment of his company. He's not much of a conversationalist, but you're okay with silence, and sometimes you just...end up keeping him company in the monitor tower after missions and he just...lets you.

• You soon notice the ungodly hours he keeps and start leaving him an empanada and a black coffee at the end of the day when you leave -- you know how dangerous he gets when hangry and undercaffeinated.

• It's a bit strange for him at first (someone is actually choosing his company over the bombastic personalities of the other spiders?) but Miguel soon gets used to you hanging around, and the hairs on the back of his neck finally stop bristling at having a fellow person in the room.

• One thing he absolutely can't figure out is why the scent of fear never radiates from you, even when you witness his occasional equipment-trashing tantrums. But he somehow doesn't quite mind that he can't intimidate you.

• He would strongly deny he ever gave you favorite treatment, but some of the others do realize he's not QUITE as hard on you when you challenge his decisions.

• Sometimes you check on him late at night before you go home; you can tell when he hasn't slept in a couple days by the way his shoulders hunch and how often he pinches the bridge of his nose against an oncoming headache (though sometimes that's just from dealing with Peter (x100) for too long).

• And that turns into you staying in late to keep him company while he swipes through screens upon screens of things that require his personal attention.

• That's how you end up finally seeing the videos of him and his little girl; he probably forgot you were there and her loss hit him all over again and before he knew it you had seen what he was like once, when the lines on his handsome face were from smiling so widely instead of losing sleep over the fate of all of reality.

• Neither of you really address it for a long time, but you know, and he knows you do, and there's this weird comfort that settles between the two of you after that.

• He already knows your story of course, and your canon events, but when the pair of you finally start talking during those late nights you share the little details, and you have the feeling that he wants to care about the small things, he just can't with the much larger picture he has to handle.

• It's little things that make it past his unbreakable outer walls -- the fleeting brush of your hand across his back as you pass behind him, the way you can hold eye contact with him longer than anyone else, the seemingly flippant way you blow him a kiss every so often when he sends you off to go make yourself useful elsewhere. Casual things, but he notices.

• And you want to tell him you're in love with him, but have a feeling he doesn't want to hear those words, because once they're out in the air, it means you both can't sidestep it anymore, so you don't.

• After a particularly rough mission, he's angry and you're shaken up, and he doesn't mean to react the way he does, but he takes it out on you, scolding you for what almost happened, and you fire right back because you're emotional, and the two of you end up raising your voices and everyone else just kind of...leaves the room.

• Then silence.

• You and Miguel are breathing hard, staring at each other. And something fragile takes root in the empty space between you.

• "Could you do me a favor and maybe not get yourself shocking killed?!" he growls at last, and there's a raw edge to it you haven't heard before.

• You laugh brokenly. "What do you really care, O'Hara? There's literally hundreds of Spiders here; I think you'd be okay."

• "¡Coño! How can you be so blind?!" He's snarling now, full lips pulled back and sharp teeth on display. "I thought we were on the same page for once."

• You're totally unprepared for when he grabs your shoulders and forces you to look up, right at him. "I can't lose someone else."

• He's so close, and his angry mouth has softened. And maybe you've lost your mind, but he's already angry, so what do you have to lose, really? At least that's what you tell yourself as you take the plunge and lean in.

• And to your surprise, he not only meets your lips, he kisses you back with matching fire, and what was supposed to be a simple, singular impulse turns into an unexpectedly heavy ongoing process -- fingers raking through hair, bodies pressing together, hotly whispering things neither of you remembers.

• And then as quickly as it happened, it's over, and you're on opposite sides of the room again like sulking cats, and he sends you home.

• You don't talk about the incident for weeks. Life goes on.

• But then one night, he offers to take you home when you both stay behind late, and at your door he apologizes for his lapse in professionalism, and you admit you...didn't mind. At all. He doesn't seem in a hurry to leave, and wanting to distract him from his work for at least a little while, you invite him in.

• And somehow what was supposed to be a sweet goodbye-and-thank-you kiss a couple hours later turned into exploring touches and murmured questions and agreements and how damn good his arms feel locked around your body; and when the sun filters in through your window in the morning he's long gone but your skin still smells like him and you realize that actually happened.

• You assume it's a one-time thing. People make mistakes, after all, no hard feelings.

• Bur when Miguel holds you back after a mission several days later and wants to make absolutely sure that the other night didn't make things uncomfortable between you, you go out on a limb and admit to him that you really enjoyed it.

• And he has to take some time and process that.

• But eventually he shows up at your place late one night again, and it starts to become a bit of a regular thing. So much so that you give him the spare key to your apartment and he starts to leave some of his clothes there sometimes. You love wearing his shirts, because they're enormous as hell on you, and you sleep in his clothes whenever you can't have his skin against yours.

• (For his part, he also likes when you wear his shirts, because then your throat, shoulders, and thighs are that much easier to get at.)

• And life goes on.

¡Ay coño! = (Expletive)

Nadie me oye = No one listens to/hears me

Todos son idiotas = They're all idiots

[gracetoldmeto]

really long rant: why am i so scared of everything?

note: the rest of this post was a draft i made a few days ago, and was going to let rot forever, but today has messed me up so much i just said *why not* and posted bc idk... why not...

im not like 'BOO!!! jumpscare' scared just like... there are so many things in life that could go wrong that are entirely out of your control and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, because shit happens and sometimes that shit is BAD and permanently fucks you over for life and thats just the way it is bc fate is a game of chance (this is my dramatic ass way of saying 'a forever change') but everyone says "oh if you cant control it then why worry?"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?

NO. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS I DO WORRY.

I could die tomorrow. I could get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow. Someone (else) I love could die (again) tomorrow. Maybe my house could burn down tomorrow. Maybe in some freak accident everything I've ever known is taken from me... somehow?

can i control any of this? no.

so what do i do about it??? anything i can to minimize the fallout just in case...

bc isnt that just called RESPONSIBILITY???

ie: house fire? -> ok. insurance.

medical? -> insurance.

death? (that isnt mine) -> stable income

(note #1: this is about the point in my writing of this post where i dont even have the motivation to finish it bc i just wanna sit down and cry... but i might as well)

so OKAY, guess what? i did something about all those possibilities, so my anxiety should be relieved, right? fear gone! all okay now!

WRONG!

all that structure ive created bc its the "rEsPoNsiBLe" way to live, is a slow painful depressing death of my mental health at the hands of my job

yes, id rather gain an inch than lose a mile, small sufferings over large,

but oh my god is that all life is? small sufferings???

if i keep only suffering one inch at a time im going to end up killing myself and i dont quite think anyone truly GETS that except my therapist

this isnt like high school where i knew jack shit about mental health, i know what help is out there, whether or not it works is a totally different story

(note #2: i have looked at my options, ive read the rules, and id actually rather take my metaphorical little plastic car you get at the start of The Game of LIFE boardgame and throw it out a fucking window)

im past the point of easy help and unfortunately the conclusion i keep coming back to is a quote from a fic i wrote last year...

whatever THIS life is, regardless of how much i worked my ASS off for it, i dont want it anymore

(note #3: i dont even think id be in this spot if i didnt have shit luck)

i am equally fucked by either...

1) being responsible, financially safe, insured, but sad af at my job and actively praying something kills me in my sleep

OR

2) quitting my job with no plan and being scared that fate is gonna fuck me over for the upteenth time and this time i wont be able to bounce back or (lets be real) even have a want to (but thats a discussion for another time)

this is no way to fucking live, yet here i am

why am i scared of everything? well, yes i know WHY (bc from personal experience i know what can go wrong)

why am i scared of everything? because you cant be scared of something if you dont know it exists BUT in order to be prepared and responsible it means you have to acknowledge that YES IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU

so how the hell am i supposed to be responsible when i hate what comes with it???

"hey alex, what do you wanna be when you grow up? (1) sad or (2) scared?"

actually neither, id rather simply not exist

why am i scared of everything? because how else am i supposed to act?

why am i scared of everything? because actually, there is no answer to this... there is no reason... its just another shit thing in life that iunno how to deal with

why am i scared of everything? because the universe said so and so thats how it is

and i fucking hate it

.

...ok thats all im gonna go make a quesadilla now

[octodrawn]

Cringetober day 11: 5 + 1 things (fanfiction)

5 times Russell's hang-out plans went horribly wrong (and one time they didn't)

Or Russell Ferguson has like 5 mental health crises and breaks at least 2 laws but, hey, at least he got a pizza party

Content warning: not much, just a few swears (some in french) and as the above suggests, depictions of shitty mental health.

Rating: teen (see above)

Characters: Russell Ferguson, Pepper Clark, Sunil Nevla, Penny Ling, Minka Mark, Vinnie Terrio, Zoe Trent, and brief (implied?) cameos from Scout Kerry, Madison (girl who fills in for Blythe) and Captain Cuddles

Word count: ~3500

... is a change in section and --- is a time skip withing a section

This is technically just a rough draft so if there's anything you want to critique go ahead. I'd love to hear feedback.

OK, time for the actual fic! Yay!!!!

“Man, look at you go! And you were saying just a few hours ago that you didn’t want to go!”

Russell smiled to himself as he aligned the club and the ball “You know how busy I’ve been,” Russell said, making a graceful arc with his club as he took the shot “But, I’ve gotta admit, this is pretty fun!”

They watched the ball circle the hole before slotting in with a pleasant plunk.

“That’s par! Now, how many points am I winning by again?

“Yeah, yeah” Pepper scoffed and calculated the scores. “Hah! Don’t get too ahead of yourself, buddy. We’re tied right now!”

“So the windmill decides it all”

“Race ya!” Pepper said, already bolting for the final hole.

“Wait!” ---

“Birdie! Read it. And. Weep”

Two strokes. Pepper beat the windmill in two strokes. It didn’t help that Pepper was being such a braggart about it, but what could Russell do? How could he beat a score like that?

“You givin’ up or what?”

No. It can’t end like this. Russell would not let it.

“Like hell I am!’

All he needed was a hole-in-one. Just one shot to wipe that stupid smug grin off of Pepper’s stupid smug face.

Russell gripped the golf club, knuckles going white. One shot. Just one perfect shot. He shuffled his feet and focused on the timing. He took in a breath. One. Two. NOW

The ball exploded off the ground and flew right into the windmill’s blade, from where it ricocheted off like a bullet into…. The gift shop’s window, shattering it.

“Shit.”

“HAHAHAHAH Oh my god, oh my GOD!”

“Pepper.”

“Now I’ve seen holes in one before but that's the first time I’ve seen a hole in one WINDOW! AHAHAHA!”

“Pepper! Run!”

That’s when Pepper saw the cashier, scrambling towards them, metal golf club in hand.

“Holy moly!”

And so the two of them ran into the night.

“This means I win, right?”

“Pepper!”

…

“Here’s your wristbands. Enjoy your visit to the Downtown City Museum of Arts, sirs.”

“Yes, we will. Have a wonderful night!” Sunil said, putting on his wristband then helping Russell with his own.

“Oh! Thank you,” Russell said “Now, according to this map, the reception for the new Egyptian exhibit should be…” he examined the map that, when unfolded, took up his entire wingspan.

“That way?” Sunil pointed towards the crowd of people walking towards a door decorated to look like the entrance of an ancient tomb.

“Well, I was just about to say that, but yes,”

They entered the exhibit and Russell immediately got the sense he was underdressed for the occasion. He buttoned a few of his top buttons and tightened his tie. He looked over to his friend to inspect his outfit, but more noticeable was the fear on his face.

Russell tapped his shoulder and Sunil leaned over. “Hey. I know you don’t do well with crowds. If at any point for any reason you want to leave, just let me know, okay?” he whispered.

“Thank you, Russell, but I believe I will be fine.” Sunil replied ”as long as you stay by meeeEEE” as he was finishing his sentence, Sunil was swept away in a tour of excitable tourists.

Russell tried to follow them but he kept on getting cut off by other visitors. By the time the gallery’s curator began talking, he had completely lost sight of Sunil.

“He’ll… he’ll be fine on his own. I hope”

Russell turned his attention to the speaker to distract himself from his worrying. “And here behind this curtain, we have the pride of our collection; the Pharaoh’s eye. This gem is the only thing that remains of the death mask of a great, nearly forgotten, ruler of ancient Egypt. It has even been said that it can grant the wish of any who hold it” the curator said with a flourish “Of course, that’s just an old wives tale” she said, chuckling along with the audience.

At that time, Russell noticed a few slips of paper fall from the rafters. Confetti? No. it seemed to just be these few pieces. ‘How strange’, thought Russell. He turned back to the curator.

“And now, it’s time to reveal the Pharaoh’s eye,” the curator said gleefully and she pulled the curtain up to reveal an empty case. A wave of shocked gasps came from the crowd.

“You’ll never have the Pharaoh’s eye, Dr. Disguise!” Shouted a voice that seemed somehow familiar to Russell from above.

“Muahahaha!” Laughed the old woman standing next to Russell who pulled off her latex mask to reveal a young woman with an eyepatch and a mirthful grin “Oh, Secret Agent Scout, it’s already in my grasp! If you want it so bad, come and get it!” The woman in the rafters grabbed a hold of one of the decorative vines from the wall and swung into Dr. Disguise causing many audience members to scream and run. Scout picked up the jewel from the knocked down Dr. Disguise and ran out the door, quickly followed by the now recovered villain.

Too shocked to move, Russell was left as one of the only people in the room. He jumped when a hand grabbed his shoulder, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was just Sunil.

“You know what you said about leaving any time? I think I would like to leave now.”

“Yes, I do think that that would be for the best”

…

“39, 23, and 176, right?”

“Yes, now put the code in!”

Penny Ling stared at the treasure chest for a second, fingers hovering above the number pad.

“What’s wrong, Penny Ling?” Russell turned from the scrawlings of the ‘ancient mermaid language’ on the cave wall. In reality, they were at the newest attraction of the dying Downtown City mall, the Escape Room. This month, the Escape Room was apparently doing a shipwreck theme. Russell had been wanting to go for a while, but it was Penny who finally invited him.

“It’s just… you’re the one who did most of the work. You should do the honors”

“Penny, it doesn’t matter who does it, I just want to get this done!” When Russell saw Penny begin sniffling, he changed his tone instantly “Not that I’m not having fun! I had a blast! Here, I can do it and then we can split a giant pretzel and an overly sugary lemonade, okay?”

“That sounds like a plan,” Penny said, stepping back and rubbing her eyes.

Russell gave her a reassuring smile and squatted down to open the chest. “39, 23, and 176,” he muttered to himself as he rotated the wheels of the lock. With the final digit, there was a click. Russell put his fingers under the edge of the lid but when he tried to lift the lid, it didn’t budge. He tried again and again, but the top refused to move.

“Are you okay?”

Russell didn’t want to admit it, but he was not particularly strong. Maybe Penny would have a better chance.“Can you try to open the chest?” he asked

She does so. Nothing.

“Well,” Russell starts, feeling his heart begin to race and his jaw begin to clench “That is not good.”

“Maybe you missed a clue?” Penny suggested.

“Missed a clue? MISSED A CLUE??? Penny, enlighten me. Where, exactly, in this 10x10 ft. box could I have missed a clue?”

“Russell, you’re freaking out”

“Of course, I’m freaking out! We are trapped in this room! No way to escape! It’d be one thing if I was here alone, but you’re here too! And now we’re gonna be stuck here forever!” Russell said.

Penny pulled Russell into a hug. Normally, he’d wriggle away after a few seconds, but whenever he was stressed or tired, a hug from Penny Ling always helped. Penny guided Russell over to the captain’s quarters and they sat down. “We aren’t going to be stuck here forever. When the timer runs out, the employee will let us out again”

“Yeah, but-” Russell stopped himself. He felt like a little kid, whining because he couldn’t have what he wanted.

“Mm-hm?” Penny played with his hair as he leaned on her shoulder.

“I mean like… well… If we don’t get out soon… We won’t get the best time,” Russell felt so stupid saying it. “I-I wanted to get that gift card. I wanted to thank you for always being there for me… like you are now,”

“That doesn’t matter to me. I was just happy to be here with you. Now, let’s just rest until the time is up”

“Yeah… ”

---

“Oh…” the teenage worker of the Escape Room said, despite displaying no emotion on her face except boredom “You got tripped up at the treasure chest, too?”

“That thing is totally broken”

“You’ve gotta slide the lid, not pull it up”

“What?”

“We put a sign up and everything,” the worker said, pointing at the sign right next to the chest that did, in fact, say to slide the treasure chest lid. Penny looked at Russell, worried.

“WHAT THE FU-”

…

If you asked Russell Ferguson what his ideal Sunday plans were, he could draft up a list in a matter of minutes, sorted in alphabetical order, of course. One thing that would not be on that list, however, is sitting in the freezing office of a very angry park ranger with a pair of idiots. The only sound was the ticking of the clock echoing on the mahogany walls and tile flooring until one of them spoke up.

“Man, Rusty. I didn’t know you had it in you! I mean, you, smacking a cop? No one’s gonna believe me!” Vinnie said.

“He’s not a police officer! He’s a park ranger! A-and I didn’t smack him, he ran into my hand, while I was trying to stop YOU from fighting him!” Russell tried to defend himself. “And don’t call me Rusty. I’m mad at you right now…” he grumbled the last part as he buried his face in his hands.

Minka looked between her two friends and said “C’mon guys, you don’t need to fight!”

“We’re not!” both protested.

“I’m just trying to lighten the mood,” Vinnie scoffed

A moment of silence.

“You know, I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you two”

“Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t gonna let Minka get yelled at by some random guy”

“She was climbing a statue of the city’s mayor. A statue with a sign at the bottom clearly saying ‘do not climb’!” Russell exclaimed “And he’s not some ‘random guy’, he’s a park ranger who was, you know, doing his job?”

By this point, they were glaring at each other. Minka knew better than to get in their way when they reached this stage of their bickering. It had been a long day for all of them. It was almost a miracle that this was the worst thing that had happened during their little picnic. All of them had just about reached the end of their patience and Minka, despite her normal morals, was fine with the two of them taking it out on each other.

Vinnie rolled his eyes and slumped back into his chair. “You know,” Vinnie said, staring more at the mounted stag head on the wall than who he was talking to, “I don’t think you are being a very good friend right now”

“Why you!” Russell grabbed Vinnie by the collar.

“Are they yours?” a different voice echoed through the hall. 

“Zoe! And Mr. Schmitt, of course!” Russell dropped Vinnie and smiled.

Zoe pinched the bridge of her nose and said “Yes. I’m so sorry for their… misbehavior today. I am sure they didn’t mean any harm, right?” She looked at her friends.

They all shared various words of agreement.

“Well, if you say so.” Mr Schmitt said and addressed the troublemakers “look, I’m not going to report this, but if you ever do anything this stupid again, I will have you punished under the full extent of the law, am I clear?”

“Yessir!” Minka said as she saluted and skipped out of the room, followed by Vinnie and Zoe, leaving Russell behind.

“Sir, I am so incredibly sorry. It will never happen again, I swear,” Russell pleaded.

“Just leave”

“Yes, sir,” Russell said, dragging his feet as he left.

…

“I’m really sorry about yesterday,” Russell repeated himself for the 5th time that day.

“I’ve already told you, I forgive you. Besides, I have a system where each of my friends get one bail from jail free. That reminds me; Minka owes me one.” Zoe said as she got her phone out, probably to tell Minka about her debt.

“But… I feel like I should be doing something for you”

“You’re paying for dinner, isn’t that enough?” Russell opened his mouth to speak but Zoe cut him off “And I won’t have you complaining that it’s ‘not fancy enough for me,’ Any meal with my friend is one I’m happy to have”

They both set down their menus and waited for a waiter to notice them.

“Here are your drinks. Are you ready to order?”

“I’ll be having the village salad” Zoe handed the menu off to the waiter.

“And you?”

“Can I get the veggie gyro? Hold the goat cheese please” Russell did the same.

“Oh! And for appetizers, could we get two saganaki, please?”

“It will be right out”

---

They waited for a few minutes, sipping their drinks and soaking in the atmosphere.

Russell decided to break the silence “So, what is saganaki?”

“It's this delicious fried cheese dish. You will just love it!”

Russell processed for a second. “Zoe. I’m lactose intolerant.”

“Oh. Oh!” She started to get up from her chair “I’ll let the staff know to cancel that order right now,”

“No. I mean, no need. I can have a little dairy, but I’ll be fine as long as I go home like right after this because- wait actually I am not gonna finish that thought”

“Yeah”

Surprisingly, Russell’s digestive issues were not great dinner conversation so the conversation ended there.

In the quiet, Russell began remembering all of his previous outings with his friends. All of them had ended pretty disastrously. Maybe today his bad luck would end. Maybe he could just have a good meal without anything going wrong. With that, he looked up, meeting his eyes with a flame. A fire!

“Watch out!” As fast as he could, Russell threw his water at the fire. When he realized what was actually happening.

“Aah!” the waiter threw the now sizzling cast-iron pan he was holding and it fell onto his dress-choe clad foot “Merde! Putain de merde! How do you say… Motherfucking shit!” he exclaimed, hopping on one foot.

“Oh no… Oh no, oh no, oh no” Russell began to panic. “I’ve gotta get out of here. I’ll just ruin something else if I don’t” he mumbled as he pushed himself out of chair and ran out the door. Zoe looked down at the poor french waiter, and then at the door. She sighed and followed after her friend.

“I’ll be back, I promise” she said to the staff as she rushed out the door.

Russell was hopping in the front seat of his car “Don’t get close. Knowing my luck, you’re just gonna get hurt,”

“Russell. Everyone has bad days, but that’s no excuse to not own up to your mista-

“I’m going to lock myself in my house and never come out. Goodbye Zoe.”

With that, he sped off.

“Russell Ferguson! Come back here!!! Russell, you’re my ride!!!” She frantically waved at him and tried to chase him down.

As he drove further and further, Zoe stopped running. “I hope he’s not being serious,”

…

“He was being 100% serious,” Zoe explained.

“Maybe he’s just taking a five day long nap? I’ve done that before” Vinnie said, reaching for the pizza boxes.

Sunil swatted his hand away “Vinnie, that was a coma.”

“Oh, yeah that's what they called it”

“If he’s in a coma, then we really need to hurry up!” Penny said, starting to speed walk ahead of the group.

“Uh, Penny? I don’t think he’s actually in a coma,” Pepper explained.

“Then why hasn't he called me back yet?” Penny Ling turned back around to the group with misty eyes.

“Because he hates us?” Vinnie suggested, which earned him a jab in the ribs from Pepper.

Zoe shook her head and walked up the steps to Russell’s apartment building. “Would you guys please get it together? This is important,” She went to press the doorbell before being interrupted by Minka

“Oooh! Oooh! Let me do it, LET ME DO IT!!”

“It’s all yours”

And so she rang the doorbell in a way some might call excessive.

A few muffled stops and clicks came from behind the door. In the crack of the heavily latched door, there was a single, tired eye.

“You aren’t doordash.” the door began to close, but Minka put her whole weight against the door.

“Nuh-uh, Mister. You aren’t getting off the hook that easily”

“You want food? We have pizza! Sunil! Show him the pizza” Zoe hissed. Sunil did so and Russell stopped pushing on the door.

“Fine,”

After about a minute unfastening various locks, Russell held out his hands to receive the pizza, but was met by six people scurrying into his house while the door was open, knocking him over in the process.

Russell just sat there on the ground, his friends eyes staring through his skin. He didn’t want to be seen like this. His clothes were stained and ill-fitting. His eyes were red and sore from lack of sleep. He hadn't shaved in days, and worst of all, his hair was greasy and unspiked. He felt disgusting. He wanted to curl into a ball and disappear, but the best he could do was bring his knees to his chest and bury his head in his arms.

Somehow, he grumbled out some words “What are you guys even doing here”

“Russell Ferguson,” Zoe addressed him “We want to know- no we need to know, why you have been ignoring us for the last week.”

Russell looked up at the group, thought for a second, and shriveled away once more.

Penny walked closer and sat on the shag carpet right next to him. She put a gentle hand on his quaking back. “Russell, what she means is we’re worried about you! When you didn’t talk to us, we got really scared. Vinnie thought you died!”

“I didn’t think he died! I thought he was in a comma!”

“Coma.” Zoe corrected

“Whatever”

“Look, that isn’t what’s important right now” Pepper said, sitting criss-cross across from Russell. “Just let us know what’s up, and we’ll leave you alone, okay?”

The others looked at each other and joined the circle. Russell shifted his weight from side to side, but didn’t emerge from his ball.

“I… I can’t hang out with you anymore. I only cause problems. I take things too far. I’m bossy. I can’t take a joke,” his voice started to break, scratchy from no use “I’m the fucking worst. A-and I can’t understand why you don’t hate me,”

“C’mon, you know it would take a whole lot more than that to make us hate you” Minka said as she ruffled his hair.

“And you are saying this like we don’t all have our own faults! Pepper is unfunny, Zoe is totally self-absorbed, Vinnie is-” Sunil stopped when he saw the looks he was getting. He flushed and cleared his throat “I do believe I made my point,”

“Besides, I had a lot of fun hanging out with you, even if it did end with us getting chased down!” Pepper said.

“I think you should punch more cops!” Vinnie added. Pepper readied her elbow for another rib-jabbing when a quiet chuckle came from Russell. Soon it changed from a chuckle to a chortle to a full on laugh, lifting his head up to see the world again. “Hahaha! How many times are you gonna change that story! Soon I’m gonna be having a full on brawl with the police chief!”

He looked at his friends’ expressions of confusion and cheer and somehow, he began to feel more normal. “Thank you all so much, and I’m really sorry for acting the way I did-” before Russell could finish his thought he was engulfed in what could be described as half a tackle and half a group hug.

“Who’s ready for pizza?” Penny Ling asked, after a few good moments of the impromptu dogpile cuddle session.

“PIZZA!” the group collectively yelled, pushing and tripping over each other to be the first to get to the food.

Russell was left alone, brushing himself off. He looked at them all and smiled. ‘Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all’, he thought.

The End

------

WOOOHOOO it's finished!

I know this isn't the greatest literary work of all time, but I'm proud of myself for actually completing and posting a fic for once in my life. Again, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this ^_^

[teeth-cable]

Im the CSA victim from UniformedArtists blog and I agree with you 1000% dropping everything Vivziepop.

Like I only watch Helluva even after the shit she's done to see how far it would sink but jesus christ.

You know her just saying the counselor is 18-19 isn't fucking good enough because the show says a different thing.

Like before people bring up the argument counselors can be adults... Most TV shows in media actually have minor counselors and we know Vivziepop doesn't research shit about hell or actual royalty so why the fuck am I supposed to believe Adam or her researched counselor age ranges.

Also nobody should have a twitter to figure out if you did or didn't make a grooming subplot.

You know in Curse of Strahd there's a controversial character Gertruda who 50 (500) year old Strahd is implied to planning take as another bride because of where you find her and in the book it states she's recently a teenager. However as much as I hate this plot line due to trauma I understand why it was added because WOTC portrays Strahd as a piece of shit. Like his goal is to chase down the reincarnation of his brother's fiance throughout time until he catches her, makes her a vampire and possibly brainwash/assault her to make her love him. Strahd is meant to be a gross creep. I as a DM and many other age Gertruda up to 18 because we don't want a pedo plot line and it keeps the predatory nature of Strahd intact.

Barbie seems to be portrayed in a significantly more positive light and her grooming behavior is never called out as a bad thing. Like Moxxie should say something at god damn least since he has morals.

There are so many things wrong with the EP. What gets me is writing has multiple stages, first the person needs to come up with the EP pitch, get the directer or network's approval, finish the first draft, then revisit it for grammar mistakes and continuity, then revise it a few more times for a stronger script, and send it to the directer or network again to approve of filming the finish script and that's not even counting how long animation takes too. So during the process of writing to animating, did no one at SpindleHorse see how weird and problematic the script was? The camp for pre-teens is called, "IWannaKumMore"(Their logo being a cum splat), Millie and Moxxie's human backstories of being siblings then making out at the end was unnecessary because they could have just been good friends whose mothers sent them to the same camp, Moxxie this grown ass adult who pretending to be a pre-teen is acting sexual and wants the kids attention, Millie who everyone else thinks is a young boy is getting sent nudes from kids and adults, and Barbie saying how easy teenagers are to manipulate then flash her ass to a boy is implying she grooms kids.

To be clear, I don't have a problem when a dark comedy make these types of jokes as all as they portray the topics and groomers as bad and show they understand that. SpindleHorse did not, like you mentioned they portrayed Barbie in the positive light and Moxxie never calls out her behavior despite being the voice of reason. In fact the tone of the Barbie's scene was supposed to funny but not in a dark ironic way. I don't understand why the camp couldn't be for college students and the consolers are stated and look like actual adults. Everything about the canon camp is childish and filled with teenagers, it's very uncomfortable to see them in sexual situations. In America the youngest a camp counselor can be is 15 y/o but that changes from states to states so no body has a clue, also with the camp counselor having a pitch voice, Barbie referring to him as kid and teenager and him, not once trying to correct her about his actual age, I'm convinced he was kid but Viv had to age him up for damage control.

I'm sorry if this response is all over the place because I'm having trouble describing my thoughts but the writers are in their 30s, and they saw nothing wrong? The writing for HB has been going down for a while now and it was fun to see how the writing could get worse but never in my years of watching awful shows did the writing get so bad, the writers had to resort to terrible jokes about sexualizing teenagers, making an incest joke, and a minor getting groomed unironically. I can't support a person or company that are fine making content like that.

"Unhappy Teenagers" was the first time, I have watched a show and felt a sinking feeling in my gut so much so it still lingers even a day later. I never felt so sick from watching a show and I'm sorry writers and companies think making this type of content and jokes of your trauma and abused experience is okay to do.

[choctalksalot]

If Jake is based on archetype of Strong Female Character then I think he should get Evil Woman arc. Let him snap and go bananas. Sburb is his stage and he is gonna became a star, and break fourth wall and if needed all the walls. I just really want Jake to go batshit. And then better but first batshit. And fight with crockertier! Jane because I think it would help them both to have a proper scream match and some stabbing or two.

admission: i have let this ask stew in my drafts for months because i had exams, and also because i needed to fully process everything in this singular paragraph because it threw a wrench in my jello sack processor

so, in short:

thank you for this ask anon holy shit i love getting asks about this stuff i am full of words about it !! that being said

I AM QUESTIONING THE CLASSIFICATION OF HIM AS STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER. I AM SO VERY QUESTIONING IT

that statement triggered a fucking. sleeper agent in my brain because i disagree so hard so so hard, oh my god i'm. okay technically it's a half disagree. sliver of agreement in there but it's for a very specific scenario that I need TIME to explain (which i now have so Buckle Up)

if you want my aabsolute shortest shorty short response to this ask it's yes, i think jake deserves to go batshit insane, i would like nothing more than to see him be a petty deranged bitch. king shit honestly!! But Not In That Way Slash Manner. okay now WORDS

so, we have the idolization/I Know What You Are he has with lara croft. we have all his big talk about being an adventurer, we have fisticuffs and guns and sparring with a bot, but, as many posts before this have pointed out in much more depth than i can attempt to surmise, jake is not that. motherfucker is a coward, avoids conflict like the plague and plays up an oblivious front to dodge responsibility (god i still can't read the jane confession scene without screaming look at that fucking LIAR)!! a defining aspect of jake's character is his continuous lack of agency throughout the comic too, which is a rabbit hole i'm not going down for the sake of my sanity and your patience [:

point is, in the words of a shitton of other people: he's a hapless bimbo archetype, or at least attempts to embody it!!!!

he wants to be a strong female character, makes an idol out of an example of them (lara), but in the end the narrative itself bends backwards to call him pathetic. point and laugh at the moron in the piss coloured underpants. something something, yet another case of lost potential

there are specific circumstances under which jake does hit as a strong female character. that's getting old i'm gonna shorten that to sfc now. big thanks to tony crazyexdirkfriend for this perspective because the one angle where i can read jake as an sfc is from an extremely meta perspective, in reference to how he's built up to be someone with a lot of importance/skill/competence, while in reality his agency is pretty much moot. it's an empty label, all his "strength" is superficial and falls away once you look any deeper than the upper epidermis. that's neat as hell!!!! i don't think that's the take you were going for, but it is an angle i enjoy and appreciate <:

that being said, even with this and any accurate read of jake really, him having an evil woman arc will have to take place in a specific set of circumstances methinks,, like mfer is probably actively performing an insanity act for Some Reason, an angry tired jake is more likely to revert to sopping wet bawling retreat anger than anything else. letting him snap and go bananas will only work if you character arc his ass enough to change a fundamental part of him!!! and a crockertier scream match is more in jane's favour for. y'know all the years of being a vent box for him. which i don't think is accessible on a count of, y'know, Literal Mind Control

i am the no.2 supporter on the Let Jake Be Batshit train (only second because i know at least four people who'd tie for first) but i don't think he'd seek out attention from beyond the 4th wall. because he can't handle the pressure of being perceived. no walls have ever needed to be broken for jake english to be a star - he's always been performing!! for the people around him, for the narrative, to be the oblivious himbo that never meant to do any wrong. the core of jake english and what drives him to extremes has always been to be liked, and to be safe. maybe those two things are the same to him. it gets suffocating, y'know? and when something gets too much, jake does what he's always done: he runs.

so yeah, no, i don't think so. do let him be a catty bitch tho!! he deserves that [:

[judjira]

heyo it is ur friendly neighborhood joo !

it has been Quite A While since i last posted anything, whether on tumblr or ao3, but worry not! i am not dead yet, and i have no plans on being dead. i've been stuck for a while on writing, but i'll get to that in a bit.

for some reason, now that it's the end of the year, i took a moment to sit down and really just think about things, and i've come to one conclusion.

god, 2024 really sucked for me.

now, i know mindless rants and thought dumps like this aren't why you follow me or anything, but honestly, this is a writing blog, so i'm going to write. if you don't like that, boohoo (jk feel free to stop reading and go send that ask about when im going to update (fic) haha)

a lot of my friends like to say i give main character vibes, and that's not me boasting. genuinely i wonder what it is they see in me that makes them think that. maybe it's the way i tell stories about what happened to me, or how i can manage to keep up a conversation and seem like an extrovert, or just genuinely the way i live my life.

for context, i'm a freelancer doing events and theater, which means i have really, really strange work hours, and even stranger income. i suppose, to someone else, my life seems cool, leaving for work at 11 pm, going to different cities for shows, getting to meet celebrities in the industry and whatnot. and yeah, if i didn't work in this industry, i'd think that's pretty cool too.

but i do work in this industry. and god does it suck so bad. i try a lot to find the reasons why i keep doing my job, and it happens a lot like this:

i do a gig with a lot of hiccups, problems in management, toxic people, underperformance, and i consider quitting. then, something really great happens at the end, and i gaslight myself into ignoring my imposter syndrome and i keep working, waiting for another job.

so it's a lot like someone only giving me food when i'm desperately starving, just enough to keep me going for one day.

do i enjoy it? hell no. is it worth it? somehow, for some reason, at the end of it all, yes.

but the one thing i really don't like about it all is how it's affected my personal relationships. i take all responsibility for the way i act and the way i behave, but i'd be a liar if i said my workplace didn't influence me the way it did.

this year has been so full of ups and downs with my parents, my siblings, my girlfriend, my friends. i feel like, somehow, in gaining independence for myself financially, i somehow realized in the first place what i was so dependent on in my relationships. which sucks.

and to make it full circle, another thing i really don't like about it is how it's taken me away from my favorite hobby, which is writing.

i have missed out on writing for so long that it physically pains me sometimes that i'm away from my laptop and clicky keyboard, unable to pour my heart out onto some weird ass twice fic that barely anyone's gonna read. it might seem shallow to someone else, hell, probably to most people, but damn if writing isn't the one thing i come back to each and every year.

which, i think, brings me to my next point, which is i think i have to apologize for not being so active. i've made a lot of promises that i haven't been able to keep with my fics, and i have so many drafts that haven't seen the light of day. and i don't think it's just you people who read my fics that i have to apologize to, but also myself. i think i took writing too seriously and ended up having it weigh down on me more than it should have.

the whole point of this damn thing is to have fun, and to make sure other people have fun, and i don't think i've been having a lot of fun recently, honestly.

so, yeah. an apology. to you guys. and to myself. i think. im a fuckin weirdo.

but yeah, that's it for this rant. if you made it to the end, congrats! i'll be posting a s'agapo update soon, and i'm also working on the next out of bounds. after that, god knows what i'm updating. i'm gonna stop lying to myself and saying that i have an update plan when in reality i just write whatever's on my mind.

anyway, thanks for reading, and i hope you all have a very happy new year. love ya

[wetcatspellcaster]

I can totally get why you feel pressured with Pieces! When you write a popular fic, you do write it for yourself, but it's hard not to think of the thousands of people who give you their undying support, and you want to do right by them!! But, we are here because we love your writing (all of it. If I told you how many times I've reread Party Favors... Or dipped my toes back into An Honest Lie. God, God. I'd say too many, but it's honestly not enough) and we are here for the ride you choose to take us on. I have a firm belief in your abilities that has been proven true again again.

Personally I love your writing because it's amazing and well thought out, not because it's perfect. Which isn't to say that I notice any flaws (because I don't) but it is to say that perfection is unachievable. Pieces is fucking ambitious as hell, and you are slaying with each chapter, but you also aren't being paid. We are all freeloaders off of your google doc. Don't sweat about it too much.

That being said the last chapter had me SCREAMING. SCREAMING. I AM UNWELL!!!! THE HAIR REF,,,,,,,,,, HIS LITTLE CATTINESS,,,, ROSE BEING CRINGEFAIL,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ugh. UGH! IT'S JUST LIKE THE GOOD OL' DAYS ONLY NOT AT ALL AND EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hello petal! thank you for sending this! I have been very tired for the last week or so, so I'm sorry to say that is why it sat in my askbox, I didn't want to not do the reply justice.

Thank you for being so kind! I'm really glad you enjoy my writing. I will 100% admit that I didn't think Pieces would become what it did, it's honestly amazing and I'm consistently blown away by the response it gets from readers and how nice everyone is, but it is very strange to write something ambitious just for your own curiosity versus suddenly hundreds of people getting an email when you're essentially 'fucking around and finding out'. I'm never going to complain! I'm very very lucky!! People like you now come to my tiny little tumblr and say nice things to me! But it has been a big change and it has definitely involved some adjustment lol.

It is nice to be reminded that some readers actually like the brand of Astarion/Tav I wrote before I touched an Ascendency AU, and that returning to that isn't a massive letdown lol. What is coming in the next few chapters of Pieces is a much softer brand of problem, and it's nice to be able to be a little kinder to the characters even if they're stewing in their own feelings! I hope people enjoy it when it happens, there is more repression and more absolute cringefail moments to come :')

I'm aware that I haven't updated anything in a few weeks, but unfortunately I am spending my days wrangling my PhD thesis and trying to edit it down to the wordcount. I have been writing, but I have not got an editing braincell in my body by the end of the day and that is why I haven't felt comfortable posting. I hope to be back soon, or at least by the end of the month once my draft is handed in. I know that's not what your purpose was in sending the message, but I just want to reassure you and other readers that I've not fallen off the face of the earth I am just. very very tired. Thank you for your kind words when my brain is on fire xx

[yourstrulyrika]

do you write for sherry birkin? if so, can i please request something like, you know how she’s often experimented on and so she tells her girlfriend (reader) she can’t orgasm / cum fast when she tries it herself so reader takes care of it, and it somehow takes many tries until she gets sherry to reach her orgasm.

thank you <3

HEY NONNIE!! took me a bit. BUT I AM BACK!! also i am still working in my theme it’s taking some time IM SORRY i still cant decide for shit. to the other rqs in my inbox no worries i’ll write them all soon!! SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG i have sm works in my drafts. I know it takes me an eternity to write my motivation and health suck. sorry if it sucks i never wrote for sherry so yeah >:(

anyway!!! :3 here u go. a reminder this is re6 sherry

sherry birkin (RE6) x reader

i think i’m gonna choose her as my theme what do yall think :3 anyway to the actual fic

no warnings, just fluff and smut and comfort bc sherry deserves the world! sliiight mention of angst but thats rlly it !!

Sherry went through literal hell back then, and you know. poor girl struggled so much with getting into a relationship, she doesn’t know how she even got you. she thinks she’s the luckiest girl in the world once you date her.

but sex? well that’s another topic. you never touched it first because you figured out it’s a sensitive topic, maybe too much for her, it doesn’t matter. you just didn’t touch it.

but she never touched it either. she was scared. what if you won’t like her? what if you’ll get frustrated? the amount of experiments, various medication, god knows what, but it all turned her body into a mess deep inside. she just can’t cum on her own. nothing works. she thought her body is broken so she just… gave up.

she tries to give you subtle signs though. rubbing against you, playing with your fingers, tugging at you to touch her, but you just thought she’s clingy. how wrong you were though. she eventually got the guts to ask you— it was so shy, hesitant, but she pushed through. you thought it’s cute.

and that’s how she ended up with you between her legs, her legs on your shoulders as you devour her. you don’t mind her taking some time to come. it’s not her fault even if she keeps mumbling it is her fault and all that, no it’s not, end of the talk.

she’s insecure— feeling good, but insecure. she’s tugging on your hair, her legs squishing your head as your mouth works wonders on her. her mind feels hazy and empty, seeing literal stars. the thing is, even when you’re making her feel so many sensations at once, she just can’t come. it goes on for some time— she’s feeling it, feeling like she’s on edge, but something’s locking her away from actually cumming. she starts to grow sad and frustrated at one moment, thinking you’ll start to grow tired of her.

“I.. I think we shou—“ before she can finish her sentence though, you shut her up with a pat on her thigh. you say it’s okay, but what if it’s not and you’re just saying that? isn’t it frustrating? it’s definitely frustrating to her because she could spend a hour with fingers inside her and it just wouldn’t work. she would always give up in the middle of it and just go to bed. but you’re determined to make her feel good, to make her cum. you don’t pull away from her, instead bringing her closer so you’re buried between her thighs. you lap at her cunt, sliding your tongue in and out of her hole while rubbing her clit. her thighs start to tense up, head leaning back, and she’s feeling like she’s about to cum. the moment doesn’t come fast though. it takes a damn eternity for her to actually cum, but when she does, it feels so intense. she didn’t cum in so long, if she ever did. she cries out, her juices squirting out on your face. you drink it all eagerly— and she’s so sensitive when you do. she never felt like this because no one, including her, bothered to make her cum. it’s a hard task to begin with. but she’s so grateful for it too. she feels it for like ten minutes at least, and then feels a bit sore after so you go gentle on her, peppering her cute face with kisses and giving her a warm bath later. you don’t even care about your own pleasure, but she does. when you clean her up and all that, she clings up to you, tugging at your own panties before putting her head on your shoulder, rubbing her cheek against yours before mumbling a soft

“You thought I won’t return the favor?” she places a kiss your neck.

[elleinmotion]

Omg I saw the new HotD trailer and immediately thought of you! I love your writing so much. What do you think of the trailer? Is the new season going to change your ideas for Graves in any way?

hello and I'm so tickled pink that you love my stuff!!!

I LOVED the new trailer. reduced me to a gibbering mess. loved seeing that B-52 flying fortress of a dragon buzz the army when Aemond and Vhagar did a low pass over. rev up the Bugatti wuheeeee

loved Rhaenyra staring out over Shipbreaker Bay all soot-stained and emotionally fucking drained. pretty sure she did exercise a little bit of Aegon I/Balerion on Harrenhal with Syrax on Storm's End (or at least the Baratheon fleet). let my girl burn it all down

had a major pacing the house moment when they showed a shot of Helaena's face upturned and looking through the black of her veil, then again when she was at knifepoint. i really can't handle it lmfao, i want to leap through the screen and protect muh queen and all of her children. they deserve the world

Aegon being peak brooding menace. Aemond pacing for the throne and looking like he's got his eye on the prize. Alicent staring out over the water (god please let it be a dream sequence or she's at Harrenhal by some plot device and she's staring out over an inlet of the Gods Eye, that would just be TOP LEVEL irony)

ALYS. FUCKING. RIVERS. I can't wait to see the Witch Queen. I can't wait to watch her dynamic with Aemond. I'm so excited for that and Gayle Rankin's overall portrayal. Ewan and her are going to kill it, I just know it (many will die...of fun :) )

regarding Season 2 impacting the story or informing changes on Graves - no, I don't expect it to. not when the goal line is to finish draft and hopefully get everything out in the world prior to or when Season 2 is airing.

the fic will stand canon divergent as all my characterizations of Daeron, Jeyne Arryn (unless she manifests with a hoard of dogs in the show, in which case I will lose my shit lmfao), Cregan Stark, and the twins are likely to differ from how the show will portray them (hell I already did that with fleshing out the twins a lot more than what we saw in season 1 ) - additionally, Cregan is married to his first wife Arra Norrey in my fic, when in canon Arra died in childbirth in the same year Graves is roughly set. already pretty divergent from book and show here, I'm off in the woods, I am deep in the weeds - canon? never heard of her

the epilogue for graves is already pretty set - this is a fic that was written backwards, essentially, with a final line and ending there before there was even a middle of the story!

also, I wonder if we might even see Daeron in season 2 with the casting yet to be finalized for him at the time of writing this reply. in which case, that makes Graves verrrry canon divergent if they eliminate him as a character in the show (I hope they don't).

thanks for the ask, anon!

[queenburd]

hmm i am also thinkin abt the curator line “they need each other” …. something something, can a narrator survive without his stanley? just like a human can’t survive without food/water.. quotes in the skip button ending:

“One single thing I need -…- is to know that someone else is taking it in.”

“When you press that button,… the emptiness folds itself outward in between the two of us, and I am suspended in its unyielding quietness. I can feel the edges of my reality curdling inward and decaying. I can tell that I am becoming less and less real.”

so in the same way.. i assume that all of those narrators banding together would provide some kind of support, but. they’re all so busy trying to be heard, they don’t actually listen to each other. it’s just a big game of giving water to the man starved of food. each others’ company is enough to sustain, but it won’t be for forever.

which is why they go after stan’s narrator; they’re not 100% certain what he’s been doing, but surely he’s hoarding all of these stanleys to himself, right? why would he not hold onto them? where is he hiding them?

but there are some narrators too, that read the room and say “what the hell. the only people here selfish enough to hoard stanleys are the ones suggesting this.” and they form their own coalition which isn’t an echo chamber. they all spent their parables making assumptions on themselves and on their stanleys. this was cruel, yes, and basically a death sentence, but they recognize the self-loathing faster than a counselor in the foster care system. and some of them are still in denial about how they treated their stanleys. but they all recognize that We Need To Hear This Guy Out.

and obviously there’s a lot of infighting from both groups. it’s a high-stress situation, who wouldn’t be stressed out by the end of their life suddenly being a thing that is real and also is approaching rapidly. and there are plenty that just give up and let themselves melt away out of guilt or hopelessness.

so the hate group finally gets this guy. and he gives 0 fucks about them. which is frustrating since they did their best to strip him of his power, but he’s been heard by so many stanleys and they haven’t, so they’re still substantially weaker than him.

the sensible group of narrators aren’t able to even get a look at him. and so they’re busy scheming, but less than the hate group. so when the stanleys come to save the narrator, they notice sooner and they make a break for it. “there’s a lot to discuss, but first we want to help save your narrator.” “there isn’t much time before the others notice.” “we’re trying to hide your presence as long as possible.” “do what you do best—tune them out when they want you to listen.” “yes and that punch was deserved. i deserved that.”

the stanleys are suspicious. who are these fuckers with feelings and what have you done to our original narrators lol???? but they’re willing to go with it. how else would they have escaped their parables without trusting an unexpected offer for help?

you said you didn’t have a lot of thoughts but luckily i did ❤️ i might write smth about this au or the original au. still deciding. but my drafts folder is still overflowing so i probably won’t start until there’s a little more stanley stuff fleshed out. ok it’s my bedtime

THE PUBLIC NEEDS TO SEE THIS. I HAVE LITTLE TO ADD TO THIS GEM other than I have genuinely begun to wonder if any of the narrators, having seen this fellow, who theyve been trying to BREAK, just refusing to be broken, begin to.... wonder.

because again, and again, he just keeps telling them "you didn't take care of him. he only had you and you only had him and YOU DIDNT TAKE CARE OF HIM." and he's relentless.

"I dont get to be with my Stanley either, but god, at least in the time I had him I appreciated him. Our story was supposed to be about him finding happiness, and you all forgot that."

I absolutely can see some of them, who werent the cruel ones but were more invested in their story and in their art, starting to wonder "....was he right? did I forget why this was so important? did I--"

YOU HAVE SOMETHING HERE.

[takeariskao3]

20 Questions

thanks for the tag @thenicestthingiveseen!!

tagging: @brightlybound, @displayheartcode

1.How many works do you have on AO3?

across all psueds? 42

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

421,190

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently? Harry Potter.

previously? star wars, the folk of the air, marvel, game of thrones, doctor who, supernatural, lord of the rings

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Path From You Already Gone Fade When The Heart Caves In The Holiday

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes, i love reading peoples' reactions and i like to think they like reading my reaction to their reaction. to me fanfic and fandom is a community. and what is community but an invitation for conversation?

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Come Back To Me felt like it came to a natural resolution even though it leaves everything really open ended. however, Memories Feel Like Weapons will unseat this when i get around to finishing it.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i have a lot of wips that are going to have real happy endings but since they aren't written yet i feel like that's cheating .... so i'll go with Enough of Both since it's a happy ending if you know what i mean

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not hate, just rudeness

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

hell yeah. all kinds. whatever feels right for the story or the characters. however i think most of my smut scenes are overwhelmingly vanilla and packed full of feelings.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

no, every time i try to come up with one they're too absurd for me to actually go through with

11.Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes :(

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but would be honored

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, and i won't

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

not a fair question because i have so many ships and so many fandoms and have been betrayed by so many franchises BUT for hp it is a three way tie between hinny, dramione, & panville

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

the holiday :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

eff don't make me say nice things about myself i think i do a decent job at giving the characters a unique voice and giving them character moments within their own internal narration. also what sticks out to readers and what i get good feedback on are my dialogue and fight scenes

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i get too in my head when a scene doesn't immediately work. i will quit on it instead of writing it out so i can figure out what is wrong and rework it. i think i'm getting better at allowing for a bad first draft but it's such a mess when i first get started that i get so discouraged when things don't work or click right away.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i would want to work with a native speaker to help me correctly get tense, phrases, slang, speech patterns, etc. google translate has embarrassed me too many times.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

lord of the rings... or was it doctor who.... i can't remember

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

fuck! um ... honest to god i think it's Five Times Ron Interrupted (And One Time He Didn't) i can't believe how much i enjoyed writing hbp harry/ginny while also laying the ground work for The Path From You. i am such a sucker for a prequel. yes pls give as many "it was always going to end this way" foreshadowing as i can get

[why485]

So, the identify of “Rena” has been confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt, and I think it’s enough of a spoiler to put it under a Read More. I had actually already written a huge post with my reaction to the reveal but it was so long, so full of spaghetti, and so hot a take that I couldn’t post it.

I ended up reading a couple more chapters to see where this goes, and oh boy was that a good idea because there is a hell of a payoff.

I want to get this out of the way first. There is still a potential plot hole with Itsuki being Rena: How did she know about the photo in the wallet during their first encounter? This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot. (Ch.2 raises unflattering questions.) This is besides the point of this post and would require its own, but it feels worth mentioning. Anyway, onto the main post.

So Itsuki being Rena initially made me very upset for so many reasons that I wrote a huge essay which I’m never going to share because it was so embarrassing and full of spaghetti. After hiding it in Drafts, I went back and re-read chapters through the lens of “it has to Itsuki”.

To the mangaka’s credit, it actually does make sense. As I wrote in my previous Rena rant: 

Itsuki could be trying to help Fuutarou come to terms with his past.

I thought that was a red herring, but it seems that really was the case. Itsuki is, by the time of the first Rena encounter, fully aware that she had met Fuutarou in the past. If you go in with that mindset, there are little hints dropped since then that Itsuki has something on her mind. It’s notable too that her demeaner becomes much more positive and supportive of Fuutarou after the hospital visit.

The main reason this bothered me initially is because it makes Itsuki (and the mangaka...) seem really dishonest, and I hated that because the main reason I like Itsuki so much is that her and Fuutarou are both so trusting and natural around each other, and I adore that. I thought that Itsuki keeping this a secret for so long meant that she was lying, even if technically only by omission.

However, to Itsuki’s credit, upon re-reading basically every scene she’s in from the hospital scene to the present (first day of the Kyoto trip), it does come across as if she just never had a good chance to bring it up. It was eating her up inside that she never told him the truth about this, and she was literally just about to tell him until Yotsuba came in and ruined their moment. Reading that all back, it’s much easier to forgive because it’s a big deal and yeah it’d be a heavy conversation.

What really got me upset that first time around though, is that after her failed “I’m Rena” confession, she seems to decide to double down on the identity and it made me scream. The next couple chapters show the consequences of this decision, and oh my god is the payoff satisfying.

Fuutarou is completely done with these games.

I’m sad to see Itsuki so hurt by this, but I’m sorry, play stupid games win stupid prizes. Honestly all the quints, except for Yotsuba, have gone kind of nuts and everything is going totally off the rails. They’re being absolutely vicious to each other right now. Even Ichika is throwing Miku under the bus! What I love about all of this horseplay though is that it (seemingly) is having consequences. I am all here for people doing awful deceptive underhanded things to each other and actually getting punished for it.

Put another way, I think it’s cool how typical anime harem nonsense is causing everybody problems and making everything worse in a way that’s honestly pretty believable. This is going to get a lot worse for everybody before it gets better, and I’m really not sure how this is can even have a happy ending anymore.

[blackvahana]

There's no way to get this post done without giving in to the fact that Grey has shit to say - specifically there's no way of getting this done without acknowledging that constantly disassociating myself from. my own connection to him. Look, the schism runs deep, when you play with mind magic and manifestation you get scattered through time and space or whatever the hell else would come out of my mouth about it, but anyway.

I need to sit and actually properly write on what the relation is that was brought up by Grey putting forth the whole "I answer to YST" thing. The first draft of this post was me distancing myself, saying that I'm going to be going out the other end of this X intersection, sliding through the name, but he's not done.

It's given me more of an awareness of my own arts than I think I've had so far, at least it's dragged me from the idea that I do nothing into the idea that, ah, no, I definitely do something.

Yeah, and there's this huge gap in-between writing these paragraphs where I sit and type nothing. because. I am still not taking myself seriously

So much of ANVD's forging is - I shouldn't have invited the old men.

Take 3 of this post:

Sometimes a child grows beyond its confines and the expectations put on it. It outgrows the box it was put in. It needs to be culled.

Sometimes a god is created, the god shrinks beyond its confines to a more sympathetic and soft and personable form. It shrinks out of the box it is put in. It too needs to be culled.

"There is an entire ocean stretching out before us, within which I have placed glass floats for you to collect." His voice is distant and dark, by that I mean it's less audible and more muscular, it is spoken as a blackened throat which contracts in uncannily expected ways. My own throat.

Looking out at the ocean of ANVD, yeah. So many spheres, so many reflections of self.

Let's not mince words, I'm still furious at you, man in the mirror. Let's not cover up the fact that the fury I have towards you would crack the marble floor beneath your palace and rend you form the Sky itself. Let's not forget that I was there from the beginning.

But that's never been what this is about.

Take 5 - oh. I meant 4. Whatever. How many fucking times...

Ananyavarda is a system of glowing spheres that extends as an, of course, extension, of myself into a specific pocket of reality. It's a manifestation of a specific part of me, one that identifies with space rather than body, which is a connection I've felt since before it was made. It's danced through time, organised with various directions of time-play.

Rata'gra is not a creature, it's an extension of the self and an expression of abilities, this I knew. But I don't truly understand, because it is, like "Manna", a self that is externalised through the gaps of time and projected to be met sometime soon after its themes start appearing in life. Unlike Manna, though, RTG hides obsessively between the vulva-folds of time, shy and unassuming, obscured, shadowed. It's a future self, but hiding instead of showing off. RTG is meant to be woven through -

- see. I'm fucking furious. Do you know how long you have to wade through the fucking bullshit of (our life circumstances) with someone you have a projected sibling relationship with to get to this level of fury? Do you know how furious you'd be at someone after this many years, to the point where years become microorganisms to the planetary masses of our existence? 12:12pm. Hi.