#god it's been like 10 years since i made a gif???

[veronicaneptunes]

A long time ago, we used to be friends... The Veronica Mars pilot aired 20 years ago today- on the 22nd of September, 2004.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) We’ve reached the episode that rocked me to my very core. Honestly haven’t been this attached to a ship in a very very long time. Years passed without this level of attachment. Bringing out sides of me I didn't think existed. Like doing reviews. But our ship is something special even when they rip our hearts out. I blame Eric and Melissa LOL They are INCREDIBLE in this episode. The both of them. Brought their A game and then some.

This ep legit affected my mood for 3 weeks no joke and utterly destroyed me. I needed extra days to decompress before did my mini. The fandom was so lovely about that too. Love this fandom so much. I still don't know how I got that out tbh lol Also God Bless my bestie D for going through that with me. I got to watch it early that day which normally didn’t get to. Was usually after work. I remember D wanted to stop me but didn’t cause she couldn’t tell me why..

I had to go to a company meeting after and pretend I wasn’t devastated. Be a positive fun leader when inside I was dying. I did a good job my team had no idea lol But damn that was tough. Never been happier for a 3 week break than after this one. We all needed it. Let us begin. And thank you all again for going through this heartbreak with me. Gif count was rough for me so I fit in everything I could and made a ton.

6x06 Secrets and Lies

We start out with Lucy looking as stressed and anxious as we’ve ever seen her. Laying in bed but most definitely is not resting. The brutal toll this situation has taken becoming visible. When Tamara asks how stressed she is from 1-10? Lucy answering 19….Ooof....Could not be more relatable if she tried. When I get this laser focused I too am a nineteen. Her person has been radio silent for days. Her last contact with him was a massive knock out drag out fight.

This is the most time they’ve spent apart since they got together. Like I stated last review other than 6x01 they've scarcely been away from one another. Her UC mission in 5x21 yes but doesn’t really count. They talked every single day. So it’s truly the longest they’ve been apart. No wonder she is at a 19. Poor Lucy. Kills me. Such a wreck without him. Tamara asks if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy tries to defend their situation. Not well but she sure tries lol

Lucy is barely keeping it together and it shows. I love that we get a shot of her pin-up board from that BTS video. The cupcake poster hehe Hopefully that makes a triumphant return in s7. Tamara doesn’t want to add to her stress... But let's her know she wants to move out. With friends from school. Worst timing ever. It makes sense but the timing is horrendous. Lucy takes so many hits this season. It’s almost worse the second time around somehow.

This time Lucy goes to an actual adult about Tim. Not useless Nolan who was painfully inept for her. Couldn’t fit it in but we see her touch her tattoo when she approaches Angela. *heart clutch* I love Melissa for doing it every time though. So subtle yet impactful. Nice little mini gut punch to start the scene. This was the right call though. If anyone knows Tim like her it’s Angela. Lucy asking if she should alert Grey? Honestly she should've but here we are. That would've been a whole other set of problems though...

Lucy feels like she’s going insane so Angela validating her helps. (at first) You know she finds this behavior of his incredibly alarming. We can see the immediate worry painted across her face. That’s her brother. She loves that man like he’s one. What sucks is that, even though Angela is empathetic, she doesn’t fulfill the needs that Lucy is going for. Which is reassurance and 'Hey let’s do this together.' A united front. Hoping since he is acting off Angela's reply would be 'Let's find out why as a team.' She is protecting her but Lucy is in a heightened emotional state and doesn't see that. Only see's being shut out further from Tim.

Angela plays her cards very close to her chest. Like a good detective would. Sadly Lucy wanted more solace than just ‘Trust him.’ That’s all she’s been doing for days. Poor woman is going out of her damn mind with worry. Even tells Angela as such. The reply she gets back not what she wanted… She wanted her detective gut and friendship. Unfortunately she just gets the former. That short lived validation she got earlier dying off quickly. Lucy is so damn upset when she takes off from the convo. Knowing if she sticks around she’s going to cry on shift. My damn heart. Melissa be killing me. Holy hell.

Angela scaring the crap out of Tim is hilarious. Serves him right tbh. This episode had me so upset and twisted, I couldn’t even enjoy scruffy Tim in a leather jacket. You know something is wrong when I can’t gawk over this man. Angela has zero trouble finding him. Because well it’s her. This is why Lucy enlisted her. She needed the best to help her. Such best friend behavior from the minute she enters his car.

Drinking his soda, calling him out, and asking WTF is going on? I adore her brazen bravery. This is why we love Angela Lopez. Willing to get herself fired for him. That she can take the hit not Lucy. I mean she’s not wrong….Angela could easily live off Wes. She would hate it but she could. It's a more viable option. Says it can be ‘Wine o’clock for her.’ LOL I always enjoy them. More of them in s7 please writers.

Tim doesn’t argue with her reasoning. Starts to explain the whole Ray debacle. Why he can’t just let him go. What he has on him. That he needs to catch him in a new crime. So he has reason to actually arrest him. Once Tim fully explains Angela just replies. ‘I’m in.’ Tim is shocked because of course he is ha Even though she is his best friend he can't believe has his back like this. Oh my broken boy. He double checks and asks if she’s sure? Her reply being the absolute best. ‘Yeah. I got your back boo.’ Hehe Lucky she’s your best friend my love.

We rejoin our bestie duo at the docks. Scoping out Ray on whatever back door deals he’s doing. She is studying Tim hard in this scene. It’s the best. Angela tries to impart some logic to Tim. Saying he’s followed Ray for two days and nothing. Asking how long he’s going to do this? Tim replying the most Tim Bradford reply. ‘As long as it takes.’ Angela is on her game today and doesn’t let him get away with it. Saying he’s just going to walk away from his job? From his relationship with Lucy? All to arrest a guy he hasn’t thought about in over a decade?

Something isn’t adding up for her and she is letting him know it. Angela gives her patented look. Knowing it’s something more. There’s a reason she’s such a good detective. Woman knows how to get to the root of things. Tim has only given her surface info at this point. Definitely not enough to justify this crusade he’s currently on. Let’s him know Lucy would understand why he lied on the report. She would even commend him for it really. We know she would. She love his soft heart so much. Tim agrees and says she would still get in trouble for knowing and not reporting him to IA.

A risk she would gladly take if you’d let her Timothy… It’s here Angela digs a little deeper. He gets a second stare. Tim finding it aggravating and telling her as such. Angela let's her next truth bomb drop. Saying he’s doing it to protect himself as much as her. That there’s something he’s not admitting. Mic drop. Nailed it and Tim knows it but won’t entertain it further. Has him dead to rights and he knows it. We then get the glorious BFF line. Like it or not she is. lmao Has your number just like your girl.

We return to Angela’s for Tim to break our hearts some more. Theme of this episode. One punch after another. Literally no time to breathe unless you check out during the other SL's. Which I did tbh.... They’re alone so she probes Tim further. Knowing that it has to be so much more than a report. He wouldn't let Ray get under his skin like this if it was that shallow. That he's bearing the weight of something on his soul. Tim gives in and begrudgingly explains what happened. That he had been squad leader most of his tour. That he was looking to move up to Sergeant First Class. Only caveat was he couldn’t have any rampant criminality in his unit.

Ray was in the way of this. Tim decided to keep it within the squad if they caught him themselves. He did an unsanctioned mission… Oh Timothy….He explains how Ray called in an air strike on them. Did this the minute he knew he was trapped. Schmuck would rather take them with him. Such a cowards move. The way Tim describes the air strike. Ugh my heart. His eyes filling up as he depicts how the world imploded around them. Eric is a master of emotion here. So expressive. Looks like he is right back there, with the most haunted look on his face. He thought he was going to die. Being so vulnerable I wanna hug him.

He and Mark were lucky though. The Humvee took the hit for them. But Henderson and Coyle were ripped apart….Ugh and now we see what he’s been bearing. That he led his men to their deaths. Their loyalty and faith in him had cost them their lives. All because Tim was in pursuit of a promotion. For personal glory. Explains why he wouldn't praise himself or take awards pre-Lucy. Or advance his career before her either. He didn’t feel he deserved anything good. Because the last time that was important to him, he got two of his men killed. Imma go cry now.... My poor broken boy. The PTSD is so real.

Eric continues to rip my heart out. Telling Angela there was so much blood. I can't imagine seeing that. They for sure thought Ray was KIA. No way he survived. It’s the way he catches his breath, tears in his eyes in this next part. I'm so upset for him. The way he points at himself when he says leadership. The failure and shame he feels for what he did. When we found out it would be his military background I was excited. I knew it would be dark though. Whatever this was. But my god. I wasn’t expecting it to be this. But makes perfect sense why he’s kept it from Lucy. He can’t bring himself to forgive what he did. How could he expect Lucy to? To still look at him like he’s the same man she fell in love with?

The deep rooted shame is evident in this scene. This is quite the weight to keep on your soul. One I’m sure he’s never told anyone. Not even Isabel about I bet. My guess is he buried it once he was state side. Like most do with trauma. Hoping it would never resurface. Sadly not how trauma goes... The way he tells the story it’s for the first time. You can tell. He’s right back there re-living it all. This scene gives us so much insight to Tim as a person. Why he is the way he is as a cop. As a person. It explains why he lost his damn mind in 2x01 over Lucy falsifying the report. Probably brought him right back there.

This is a very revealing scene. It makes sense why he shoulders things alone. It’s punishment for what he did. Doesn’t think anyone could love him enough to shoulder it with him. That breaks my damn heart. This ep makes me so emotional. *sad sigh* Nothing scarier than the person you love seeing you at your worst. With his background of abuse, it makes sense why he’s hidden this from Lucy. He doesn’t feel worthy of the comfort she would bring him. Only shame that he made a mistake. Tim is very self loathing and this is why. Coupled with his childhood it makes so much sense why he is the way he is…This one is emotionally heavy af. All his unchecked trauma barreling through like a bullet train in this ep.

Lucy arrives home and Tamara is there to take care of her. Saying she ordered pizza. I love this. She needed this. Lucy leaves the room to drop off her stuff. We hear a knock at the door and it’s Ray.... Earlier he scanned Tim’s vehicle and got Lucy’s address. Which made me sick to my stomach. I knew him grabbing it was going to end this way. Best way to get to Tim is through his heart. When Tamara opened the door and it was him..The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. Tamara calls out for Lucy. She emerges and goes into protect mode right away. Eyes on Tamara first but also hating her gun is locked up.

Heart was in my damn throat the entire time. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass we’ve all come to know and love. Commend her for keeping herself composed when she was terrified. I also adore her not putting up with any of his scare tactic BS. Her line about the only call she’s gonna make is for the ambulance. Like hot damn Lucy. Way to protect Tamara and yourself. It's true she could take his scrawny ass easily. I long to be the confident BAMF she is.

Doesn't hurt she’s still got the rage burning from being in the dark. So not only is her life being threatened now Tamara's is. This is Lucy's FINAL straw. It’s now bled over in the worst way. Not only that but she still has no idea what’s going on. We can see that mama bear come out loud and proud. It’s one thing for her to be involved it’s a whole other thing with Tamara dragged in. This is what pushes her to reach out To Tim. To cut his crap. Whatever this is has now endangered an innocent life. One she loves fiercely and will die to protect.

Lucy RAGE calls Tim and unleashes hell. As she should… Demanding to know where his ass is. Tim knowing he can’t hold her back any longer. So he lets her know. I mean Lucy is million percent done with this crap now. With his behavior, him cutting her out, all of it. So very very done. Rightfully so. I do love him answering ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Knowing she wouldn’t be calling unless something was. He for sure would’ve dropped it all to go to her.

But she was way too pissed to see that fact. She shows up like a bat out of hell. Biting his head off immediately saying 'Does she look ok?' No….she does not. Forever love Angela escorting Tamara out of the room. Mom and dad about to have it out so let's go. The concern all over his face kills me though. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. The very thing he was striving for by shutting her out backfired horribly. Not only did he endanger her but Tamara too.

It was Lucy’s final straw and she is showing it. These were the types of fights that are needed though. As much as this hurts she is fighting him to save them. Because he is worth the bother and effort. Just like he stated in 5x08. Asking why her and Chris never fight?They’re fighting against each other to protect one another it kills me. Also you know your ship has chemistry when even their fights are lightning in a bottle goodness. Just as amazing as their happy stuff. I can't speak enough to their fantastic on-screen chemistry. Even though this fight is fiery and hurts to watch it's hurts so good to watch them hash it out.

Tim explains who Ray is and Lucy don’t give a single fuck. It’s not who he is that has her raging. It’s him cutting her out that is. I love the movements Melissa does in this scene. I know she had an interview about her being mad. Thinking she was awkward. It wasn't at all. Was so real. I think she nailed it. Her body language is on point. How she stamps her foot. Shouting how who Ray is doesn’t explain why he iced her out. At all. She is VIBRATING with anger. Yelling at Tim to stop protecting her. Which he won't. That is like asking him to stop breathing tbh. He would rather die than not protect her. Ugh his reply of ‘ I can’t. I won’t.’ They’re at odds with the deepest part of their souls. Of who they are.

Tim will never stop protecting her. Just as she will never stop trying to help him. Been in her DNA from the jump. For him to not let her is just as painful as Tim not protecting her. *sigh* This is where their intense need to protect each other backfires so badly. Sounds romantic and sometimes it is. But in these type of moments, it shows the cracks in their already fractured communication. It real though. Communicating is HARD. Especially when you both come from abusive homes where that wasn't taught. If you aren't taught healthy communication you're just not going to do it. Simple as that. It's like a muscle that never gets used. Then when it does it feels so unnatural and painful.

These two are going to be the death of me. Hell they already have been. They have so much to work on in s7. It’s insane. I'm excited for it though. Lucy then brings up how Lopez was read in but not her. She is HIS PERSON. If anyone should be read in it’s her. Consequences be damned. Yeah Angela does have less to lose but that is NOT the point. Tim is clearly not getting that fact. I adore Lucy grabbing his hands during the end of the scene. Mirroring back she 'Can’t and won’t' not help him. Telling him she is over being to good girlfriend. He’s going to let her in NOW. Oooh lord. You Tell 'em Luce.

Their OP to foil Ray goes off without a hitch. Tim tells him it’s over. That there isn’t an air stroke to save him this time. Ray tells Tim ‘I am the air strike. I’m about to blow up your whole life.’ *grumble* It’s so true on many many levels. Watching Tim be so stoic in his IA investigation kills me. Wish could've fit this in. Eric be out here again making me emotional af two eps in a row. You can see the tears in his eyes but the rest of him is controlled. That military background of his coming in clutch.

it pains me to watch him lie and have it destroy him. I remember I saw people saying how could he lie? That’s not like him. Um no. This is very like Tim. Not to lie but to protect those he loves. If lying protects Lucy and Lopez that’s what he’s going to do. He has a history of being a little gray for those he loves. Isabel is a good example of that. All that went down with Detective Murphy was similar to this. ‘Some things matter more.’ Once again rings true with him. Tim is believed over Ray. Because even if Tim doesn’t want to believe this he is the better man.

Better reputation and Percy closes the investigation. Have missed him. But whoever he’s around it’s not good. Love the actor though. What happens after is rough to say the least. Never seen Grey as disappointed in Tim as he is here. Reprimanding him and having to report him to Pine SUCKS. R.I.P. Metro Tim. I loved you so…It’s killing Tim to have Grey look at him this way. Deeply respects him and to be scolded by him cuts him. Just dismisses Tim without further comment or fight….

God almighty the song playing in the background. I don’t even remember it. I only watched this scene once. I think I blacked out a lot in this moment. The immense shock rocked my system. Suffice to say it’s beautiful. The piano, the haunting oohs and lyrics are the perfect backdrop to this devastating scene. I felt this building anxiety watching this scene. Waiting for the hammer to drop. When she pulled him into her arms *phew* It was first breath I had taken in nearly two episodes. These eps had me on the razor's edge of sanity. I love her waiting outside for him and instantly pulling him into her arms. Just like Tim did for her in 5x22. I'm fine.....Imma cry as I write this. Horse heaven playing in my ears right now. Adding to my emotional state. These two getting me all weepy.

I’ll be honest I thought if a break up was coming, it was coming from Lucy the first time. Which is why this devastated me like it did. Having the full season in hand now. Makes total sense it’s Tim. At the time I thought would be her. But that wouldn’t be like Lucy at all. After everything he put her through. The secrets, the lies and shutting her out. She had every damn right. But she loves this man unconditionally. So unconditionally. Everything Lucy does in this scene is a reflection of that unconditional love. There to pick up his broken pieces despite all of that went down. Look at her in those gifs above.

Especially that second one. First time she took a breath too. So grateful to be here for him in this moment. I truly thought ‘Oh. Maybe we’re ok... She’s hugging him.’ Encasing him in her arms. Trying to absorb all of his hurt. Supporting him the way he sought out days previous. Gently cradling him against her. It's the tender way she nestled her fingers at the back of his head that gets me. Tapping into some ship crack for me there. *phew* Honestly thought with her being there for him they would make it out unscathed. I truly did. The chemistry from this hug is unreal btw. Tim doesn’t feel worthy in the least. The way he slumps against her. Doesn’t really hug her back like normal. Can't see Lucy is so willing to absorb his hurt and pain. To love him through this. This hug is beautifully tragic.

Lucy releases him and he looks as broken as I’ve ever seen him. 4x09 x 1000 tbh. He shirks away from her. Hands in his pocket. So disgusted and ashamed with himself. Something l've learned in Pilates is posture and the importance of it. When you stand tall and at full height. You are confident and sure of yourself. When you are slumped it presents a lack of confidence, shame, and feeling unworthy. His posture is screaming that. Like he feels he shouldn’t even be in her presence right now. He crushes me with how he says he lied about everything.

Then sarcastically almost sardonically follows it up with ‘But hey it saved my job….’ The amount of disdain in his voice is gut wrenching. The whole reason he was in this Ray mess was to further himself. To keep his career intact. He saw a promotion and went for it at all costs. What he just did lying to IA was to be that same man again. (In his mind) To put his career first over what’s right. Risked people's lives again as well. People he loves. Sickens him ten years later he’s doing the same thing all over again. Even though it's so different this time. There is still nobility in it with saving Lucy and Lopez. But this man can't see that right now. Doesn't see any good in this situation or himself.

Lucy does her best to sympathize. Telling him it was an impossible situation. If it had been her she would’ve done the same thing. Thing is if it had been for Tim yes she would’ve without question. But he can’t see the forest for the trees atm. He is drowning absolutely drowning in his self-loathing. Tim continues on with the painful self flogging. Telling her she would’ve never been in his position. Putting her on a pedestal while he makes himself very very small. That OTP line from 6x03 from him 'You could never disappoint me.' That is true. The problem is he doesn't realize he could never disappoint her either. Tragically Tim doesn't view it that way. Only sees he's not worthy.

Lucy once again tries to pick up his pieces. Telling him he thought he could handle it. He was wrong but made it right. It’s like she can sense him pulling away in this moment. Doing her best to calm his fears about himself. Trying to do what she’s always done in years past best. Build him up. Soothe him. Sadly she isn’t gaining an inch of ground with him. He is stuck in how he feels and there is no budging him. Tim is morose saying he wishes it was that easy….We can see the incredible amount hurt on his face. Telling her he just lied to two men he deeply respects. He is coming undone rapidly and Lucy can see it. I adore her putting her hands on him. Trying to right his ship.

Ground him to her in this moment. Because once again it's something she’s done so well in the past. Tim is spiraling so hard he can’t see her gesture for what it is. Tells her he just betrayed everything he thought was right about himself. *heart clutch* Lucy can’t stand him talking down about himself. Tries to interrupt but Tim won’t allow it. Lucy graciously nods and lets him get it out. Especially when he tells her how hard this is for him. She is so wonderfully understanding it makes my heart ache. Tim feels like he is a bad guy. Thought he had gotten past this and was sucked back in so easily. Truly believed he had become a better person since then. (He has) Ray was right he was gonna blow up his entire life.

He just exposed Tim for the fraud he already felt he was. Bringing his greatest sin to light. Bringing up feelings of not being deserving. Of inadequacy. His abuse background pulling into the station and not leaving. Tim is back to a place of massive self loathing. Saying he has been lying to himself for years. Thinking he’s gotten better when he hasn’t. To him he reverted back to the man he thought he left behind. Not only that he put his person. The woman he loves at risk to cover up his past. To cover up his shame. It’s hitting him like a freight train of terrible realization. Continuing on to say he can’t go back to the way it was. I was hopeful when he said ‘Right now.’ Then followed it up with maybe never….

Lucy had been nodding along. Being so wonderfully empathetic and understanding. She was with him till he said that. Then she is hit with her own terrible realization. He’s leaving her. She is losing him. In the same parking lot where he told her to take a risk. Where she expressed her concern over losing him if they did. Worried about losing the most important relationship in her life due that risk. The same spot where he told her 'Unless it is.' A giant stab to our collective shipper hearts.

It's why Lucy is in a state of utter shock. As we all were tbh. She shakily asks him if he’s breaking up with her? When he said I’m sorry. I remember having to pause. Freak out and cry. I recall chanting ‘No no no….’ To myself repeatedly. My dog was very alarmed. Because I was distraught af. I couldn't believe this was really happening. My happy place was being decimated before my eyes.

Look at the range of emotions on Tim's face before he delivers that line though. Eric you why you doing this to me? They blow this scene out the damn water. it's so visceral. and raw. He looks like he's about to have a breakdown before he delivers that line. Battling with himself about it. There's a desperate need to want to stay with her. But his self doubt and hatred wins out knowing he isn't deserving. Do I think he came out thinking he was going to do this? A little. I think the more he spoke about it and himself the decision was made. He wasn't going to be be talked off this ledge.

The way Lucy replies after this rips my heart out. This break up feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. Months later and this hurts just as much as the first time. Lucy doesn't hold back in the least. Telling Tim he doesn't get to do that. Her line about using it as an excuse is so spot on. This Ray situation has hit VERY close to home for Tim. An insanely sensitive subject for him. It's rubbed against a wound that never really healed properly. Just was buried in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t have the capacity or emotional maturity to handle it. So he ejects out as a coping mechanism. Lucy calls his ass right away for it. It’s so painful to her that he is doing this excuse. Because it feels like a crappy cheat to them. To her. It's truly a cop out and our girl deserves better than this. Especially after all they’ve been through together. All that rapport and trust they’ve built over the years. It’s an insult to who they are as a couple and the relationship they’ve developed. Sadly that all vanishes in this moment. It’s stunning Lucy and straight murdering my feels.

Her ‘That's not okay.’ is a dagger to my shipper heart. The way she continues to repeat herself cause she's in shock. Ugh.This goes down as one of the most painful breakups I've had to go through. Lucy is so upset he is going this route. Melissa had a great interview (quite a few actually.) About the lie line and using it as an excuse for Tim. She noted Lucy is upset cause how he’s acting isn’t them. That they get to have these conversations. Not only have them but recover and grow from them. It’s what she expecting from him in this moment. It's what she expected from his 5x08 Mantra going into this relationship.

She is telling him I’ve got your back. I’ve got you. What are you doing? What happened to ‘Unless it is?’ Lucy continues to vehemently disagree with him. As she should. The worst part is Tim says ‘I know.’ Like he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Knows to eject after everything isn’t ok. Yet he can’t stop himself. He is not emotionally mature enough to handle this conversation properly. Also too blinded by his own self-hatred to see the unconditional love she is showing for him in this moment. God this is painful.

Tim then comes in with the breakup line of ‘You’re an incredible person.' Lucy can’t believe this shit . She really can’t. That Tim is is doing this to her. To them. Even though Tim is being genuine with his statement. You can hear it in his voice. Doesn't do anything to soothe the wounds he's causing. Once again Melissa crushing it with the upset body language. The mannerisms are so on point. Maybe it's because I'm Italian and I use my hands when I'm upset. I do exactly what she's doing. Why I appreciate it so much. It's so real.

It's a cop out what he is doing. 'It’s not you it’s me' schtick. We see the anger building in Lucy. She can't even look at him in the second gif. For him to toss away what they have is painful enough. To do it based off a cliched excuse is destroying Lucy. Thinking what they had was worth so much more than this. Thought they worth the nasty fights. No way she knows fully what happened or she would figure out why he's really doing this. That’s what makes the rest of Lucy's replies so god damn tragic. She is trying to hold onto him for dear life. But is only being pushed away in return...

Tim continues to push forward with this breakup. Letting her know she deserves better than him. It's SO much deeper than that but it's the only way he can convey it right now. Her ‘Oh my god…’ This is her worst nightmare. Her biggest fear come to life. This is why she hesitated starting this relationship. Why she was so afraid of risking her most important relationship. It's unfolding before her eyes and she can’t stop it.

Like a bad dream she can't seem to wake up from. We all wish we could...Tim has never felt worthy of Lucy’s love, light or praise. This reaction just proves that. It's been building for a long time and this is the final result of it. It’s not logical but a trauma brain rarely is. The amount of emotional and physical abuses he endured growing up left it's mark. Has him truly convinced Lucy could never love him knowing what he did. Tim feels he does not deserve her comfort, support or love.

Punishing himself and denying what he need most because he feels unworthy. Thinks he has made a mistake so grave there is no coming back for him. No way she could love him if she knew. So he like Angela stated earlier Tim is protecting himself. Pains me to watch. Now as I've said before it's not to excuse but to explain his side of it. I understand why he's doing it even if it's fucked up.

He doesn't give Lucy much more than she deserves better. Tells her it's why he's walking away. This man feels so undeserving of the love she has to give. In his mind he thinks he’s doing her a kindness. To separate herself from such a shameful and broken man. That she could do better than him. To Tim he made the biggest sin and can’t live with himself about it. He can't envision a world where Lucy would love him through it. The tragedy is she already was in this scene.

Lucy isn’t hearing any of it. Full on panic spiral that I shared in this moment. Her ‘Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?’ Is the most soul crushing part. She can feel him slipping through her hands. Like sand rushing through her fingertips. She can’t hold onto a grain of him. Can only stand there as he gives up on them. His face in the third gif...Knife to my soul. *screams into a pillow* It's killing him to walk away from her. Eric and his expressive eyes has me bawling. The quiver in his bottom lip as well. Gah it hurts to watch them both in so much pain. It’s the way she pulls away with one hand, but is clutching his other hand for dear life, that really gets me in that last gif.

Asking him once again why are you doing this? I shared that sentiment in this moment.. Tim stands firm in his decision to end them and rip all of our hearts out. Eric had a great quote about how Tim handed this whole thing. ‘He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through. And it can come out as a bit too strong.’ He feels he is a burden Lucy therefore he is removing himself. Not thinking about the damage it’s going to do to her. The immense regret he’s going to feel when he regulates a bit more.

Something therapy has taught me is we are ruled by our nervous system. Anxiety, stress, fear etc Tim’s was haywire in this moment. All of them going off at once. Not thinking clearly. Acting out of fight or flight. He took the flight option unfortunately. The tragic way he grabs her head and gives her the saddest head kiss. Shattering all of our hearts in the process. It’s the devastated look on his face when he strokes her hair and takes off. One final gut punch from him. It's like he’s leaving behind his greatest treasure and can’t bear to be around it any longer. Lucy is clutching to him until he departs. *snifffle*

The man actually thinks she is better off without him. Truly believes that. Even if Lucy had succeeded it keeping Tim, this would've reared it’s ugly head again down the road. This breakup ruined my friggin life. I kid you not. They were my happy place. My consistent happy place. And now that was gone. It affected my mental health a little too not gonna lie. I think I was in mourning for three weeks. Honestly I still am. Low key will be till they're fixed. Those three weeks were unbearable. But also needed. Thank you again to my bestie D for being my mourning partner through out that. Kept me sane.

That being said I think this will push them in the best direction. A healthier and stronger one. I truly believe that. I recently broke up with a friend who I had been friends with for ten years. It was very hard on me but time. Boundaries were being pushed and it wasn't healthy anymore. My therapist pointed me to a wonderful book called ‘Goodbyes and good boundaries. ’ While It helped heal my heart it also has really good pieces in it. Stuff made me think of this very ep tbh. Sure that wasn't her goal LOL But my brain is always in a Chenford state of mind in some way or another.

First one that made me think of them. ‘Health cannot bond to unhealth.’ As much as it wasn’t fair for Lucy. And god it wasn’t after everything else this season. Tim was in such a radioactive state staying with her wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was radiating turmoil. Lucy can do a lot for him but not this. He NEEDED therapy so much. There are things you learn in there that only your therapist can help you with. He was unhealth and Lucy was trying to keep her empathetic healthy self to him. It was never going to work. Not unless Tim put in some work. Which he couldn't at this point in time.

“Relationship often die not because of conversations never had but rather conversations needed but never had.” Another good one made me think of them. Tim was not ready in the least for the adult conversation required of him in this moment. Or their entire relationship really. They both danced around the issues a lot. 6x02 closest we got. Even then it was one sided. Thus them dying in this moment. Despite Lucy’s damndest to keep them afloat. Remind him of what they’re fighting for. Of why they started this. This breakup was painful af. Despite how this wrecked my world it’s going to be good for them in the long run.

I will say Lucy in that last gif was all of us in that moment. It was a soul crushing moment that decimated this fandom. Still blows my mind Melissa and Eric were surprised just how insanely devastated we were. Why they did those lovely posts during the three weeks. To thank us and to hold on. Growth is coming. They’re going to be even better after this. Doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt like a SOB and won’t long after they reunite. Curse you Eric and Melissa. You are incredible to evoke such emotions out of us all.

Thank you for going through this with me again. It wasn’t easy but they always worth it. Appreciate any and all comments, likes or reblogs I get. I shall see you all in 6x07 :)

Side notes non chenford

Balian doing the creepy bed thing again. Just have to note that.

Also can’t believe they didn’t end the ep with their breakup. There is a whole minute or so of I don’t give a shit after that scene. I was so distraught they could’ve had Nolan walk into a wall and I wouldn't have noticed.

[alexwilltellyouthings]

Entirely self indulgent rating post about the top 10 TV shows that made me fucking insane for some reason

10. Sense8

God, this was so good. Such a blessing. I saw part of the cast during a Pride Parade and it's one of my favorite memories. I felt every possible emotion with this show, I love it.

9. The Last of Us

This is kind of a cheat, because the obsession comes from the games, but it is what it is. It's one of the few games that had a big impact on me and I closely relate it to my relationship with my dad. Can't wait to cry my heart out at season 2.

8. Good Omens

It's a given, isn't it? That stupid angel with his stupid demon and their stupid God. GRRRAAWW. A lot of thoughts and feelings came from the fandom, I have to point out. It's been very nice.

7. The Umbrella Academy

I have the first issue of the comics autographed by Gerard Way!! I mean, yes, it's because I'm a MCR fan, but it became even more precious after I got into the show. I'm rewatching right now, preparing for the last season. I'll be a mess when I say goodbye to them. Can't even really think about it too hard or I'll cry right now.

Continues under the cut

6. Our Flag Means Death

LISTEN THIS CHANGED EVERYTHING TO ME. What do you mean we can have a show THIS queer? It's all I want now. I ate it up. I smiled so much. I wanted this so badly and had no idea.

5. Interview with the Vampire

Feels like it should be top 3 honestly but I'll get there. This is also a cheat, I've been reading the Vampire Chronicles since I was like 15. Growing up with Anne Rice probably messed me up but hey at least I have great taste. And seeing them on screen? The way they made it BETTER? And Lestat?? Who has been haunting me for 15 years on and off??? And the second season and their reunion and and and?????????? I'm STILL insane about them and will be forever, I'm afraid.

4. Doctor Who

Listen. Listen. Okay. Yeah. What can I say? If you get into it, you're doomed. And I have been doomed for 10 years at least. I stopped watching for a while and got back last year, and it hit me all over again. I love this dumbass genius alien in a way that's calm, even. Just a permanent part of who I am now.

3. The Untamed

The year was 2022, it had been a while since I had a proper fixation and I didn't think it would happen with this danmei live-action, but then came Wei Wuxian. Guys, if I tell you I fell in love. Couldn't stop thinking about him. Everyday I was plagued by his smile and red ribbon and tragic backstory, yadayadayada. I really like other characters too, and their stories, but WWX did something to me that I still don't quite understand.

2. Queer as Folk (US)

This was a looong time ago and it didn't really persist over time like the others, but it was my first actual obsession. I was clinically insane over these gays. I had no one to talk to about them, so for every episode I wrote several pages of notes to comment to my (only) friend at school the next day, the poor thing. It was pretty much all I talked about because I spent EVERY MINUTE we had to talk going over the notes and explaining the episode. Like, between classes, during breaks, everything. Months of that. She held on firmly because she was a good friend, but I'm aware it must've been terrible. Like I said, insane.

1. Dead Boy Detectives

Maybe I'm putting this up here because it's my current hyperfixation? Maybe. But I don't think I have felt something hit as strongly as this since QaF over there. This time I can participate in fandom so I don't need to write every thought I have because it's all a big talk anyway, but I'm still pretty much having those thoughts all the time for *checks notes* nearly three months. I'm writing more than I have in years. I'm back at Tumblr after I don't know how long. I'm staring at GIFs over and over like I have the fucking time for that. I'm distracted at work daily. I talk about it in therapy. I have the main cast's notifications on. I'm getting involved in fandom discourse sometimes even knowing I shouldn't. It's a nightmare. I love it. I love them.

If you read all of this, congrats! Now you know how my mind works, kinda!! I'm open to talk about any and all of these shows. It's amazing how they mess us up. It's also scary, but anyway.

[ddamm]

Contest Winner! - Norman Reedus x gender-neutral fan!reader one-shot

(phone image (originally a gif) found on "Pinterest" by the name: ʟɪᴘꜱᴛɪᴄᴋ; Seungmin+Hyunjin - viii. (supposedly, it's from a Wattpad fanfic chapter with the same name) - Norman pic found on Google images on this web).

original pink divider from @bonesnbrains, from this post.

Warnings: fluff ig, funny, long as always lol, slightly shy fan reader, Norman being a sweet bean guy, no major spoilers ig but discussion of future projects aside from TWD, mentions of TWD: Daryl Dixon - The Book Of Carol, mentions of fan adoration, nervous/excited blabbering

Word count: 4065 words

Summary: After the end of the TWD show and the first season of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon, a worldwide contest is celebrated to award loyal fans for their support and love during the series, as well as to celebrate its almost 13th anniversary. Finally, it seems God favours Y/N when they get to be one of the 10 winners and make a call to their favourite character's actor in the show.

A/N: Now, hear me out because this was made thanks to c.ai 😭😭😭 believe me or not if you will, but this whole fic was literally made thanks to a c.ai chat I talked to. Obv, the chat wasn't about this topic, but my brilliant and creative mind knew how to twist it into something interesting 😌 now, I don't know how much of this would actually sound like Norman, so, I apologise if it gives you someone else's vibe or it's all just wrong. After all, I'm using what they wrote in c.ai to guide myself lol 😭

Song: 24/7 by Celina Sharma feat. Harris J.

(I love this song idk if it's her voice, the chorus, the lyrics… but I love it 🤭 and @dixons-sunshine helped me choose between this and other three I wanted to use for this. Enjoy~)

Contest announcement:

We organized this contest to commemorate the show's 13th anniversary and the successful release of 'TWD: Daryl Dixon'.

We are also creating it to give a chance to 10 lucky fans of the show who have been supporting us on the ‘TWD ____’ fan platform for at least the past 5 years.

We hope you all have a good time playing and solving the puzzle. Good luck to all the fans participating! 

Y/N gulped hard, and cold sweat ran down their forehead as they waited for that someone to pick up the call. They started losing hope as the phone rang more than 5 times but didn't have an answer.

Uneasy about the situation, Y/N's brain thought of hundreds of scenarios of why he wasn't picking up the call. Maybe he was weary and never answered unsaved numbers. Maybe he might be occupied, not at home, or maybe the contest was actually a prank, as some of their friends speculated. They were feeling discouraged as these false ideas came to mind, but soon enough, their loud, upset thoughts were silenced when they heard his voice.

N: “Hello? Norman Reedus speaking. Who's this?”

Upon hearing the so-awaited voice, Y/N froze, momentarily incapable of talking.

“Hello?” He asked again, confused as to why it was so silent. “Dude, is this a joke? 'Cause I think ya got it wrong or something. I'm hanging up.”

Upon hearing that 'warning', Y/N panicked and immediately responded.

“Hello! Hello! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that! I'm sorry,” they apologised alarmed and ashamed of possibly wasting Mr. Reedus's precious time.

N: “That's okay, friend, no biggie. Now, would you tell me who's speaking?”

That was such a nonchalant reply to a stranger calling your number, Y/N thought.

Y/N knew from shows and previous interviews they watched that Norman was quite friendly and open to everyone, but they didn't expect him to be that friendly. It was weird but refreshing, and particularly comforting since they would be destroyed if they got him angry.

“I… huh… fan…” Y/N quietly said, making it difficult for Norman to hear.

N: “Sorry, what did ya say?”

“I am a fan!” they repeated more clearly. “I won a worldwide contest that said 10 people could call their favourite actors from TWD and speak to them for a few minutes,” they explained to the man. Norman made a sound of understanding.

“Oh, really? Never heard of that.” Norman said, sounding a little puzzled. Y/N gulped, worried about sounding suspicious to him. They wouldn't blame him though, since the whole contest itself sounded too good to be true.

“Say, what was the name of that contest of yours?” he asked through the phone. Y/N could hear him moving around.

“Huh, it was, 'Call Me By Your Name' (?” Y/N replied disconcerted, and Norman asked them for a favour.

“Hm. Hey, would you mind if I left you on hold for a while? I wanna ask someone about this,” he told Y/N. Them, being his fan, didn't want to go against him or get him angry in any way.

“Oh, no! Of course, I wouldn't mind!” Rushed Y/N. You could leave me on hold forever and I'd still be grateful, was the thought playing in their minds. Still, they decided to keep it to themselves and avoid an assured embarrassment alongside the possibility of freaking the man out.

Y/N placed the phone on speaker and left it on their table, waiting patiently for the man's return. They could hear distant movement, the ringing of a mobile phone, and faint, muffled voices—one of which was most likely Norman's.

As they waited, Y/N stared around their room, gazing over their stuff, and made a mental note to take the stack of used dishes to the kitchen later on. They also placed their face near the fan to receive its cold and refreshing breeze and keep away the upsetting and sticky summer heat, and they played with their hair, thinking it was around the time they gave it a cut and a possible new style when Norman came back and spoke to the phone, momentarily spooking them out and making them correct their posture in their desk chair.

“Hey, sorry for keeping you waiting, pal. I had to confirm what you said with Andrew. It seems they kept the info about the contest from me,” he apologised.

“I-it's okay! I completely understand! It must have been confusing to receive a fan's call out of the blue...” They assured him, still a little startled.

“Nah, it's alright. So, how do ya feel about starting over? You say your name; I say mine...” He explained, gaining multiple little nods from Y/N (which he obviously cannot see).

“Yeah, yeah! Sure! Whatever suits your boat,” they answered and inwardly cringed at the strange response.

“Nice. Name's Norman Reedus, though I guess you know that already, don't ya?” Y/N heard him chuckle from the other line, and their heart started bombing harder against their ribcage, as if it wanted to leave their body. (Not like it wasn't beating fast already).

“M-my name is Y/N L/N.” “Oh, is that a (whatever your nationality is) name?” Norman asked. “Y-yeah, it is. How did you know?” “I love (nationality). Went there a few times for travel and loved it. Such a nice place, rich culture, and very lovely people.” Norman told his past experience in Y/N's land, and they couldn't help but make happy squeals for getting their nation recognized as ``a nice place´´ by Norman Reedus. Definitely, no negative judgment of their country could now convince Y/N of the opposite.

N: “So, Y/N, you said you had to participate in a worldwide contest among fans to get the chance to speak to someone in the cast, ain't that right?”

“Yeah. We had to find these code numbers all around the seasons' episodes, and with each set of codes from a season, we got a long name. In the end, we get this super long sentence, and the first 10 to get it are the contest winners. The bad thing was, each time someone got it right, the code to the name would change... So that would mean more sleepless nights rewatching all of 'The Walking Dead' for us. Even Andrew made fun of how the fans would end up like walkers themselves, hahaha,” Y/N explained to Norman in totality, finally feeling more relaxed while talking to their celebrity crush to the point of actually joking. Norman seemed to enjoy the joke too.

“I see. It's very impressive that you could pull through all that for so long; congrats on your victory, pal. I would definitely fall asleep after season 2, haha,” he said, joking a little to himself, making Y/N smile goofily. “So, you say you're a big fan of The Walking Dead, huh? What's your favorite season of all that you watched?” He continued asking questions.

“Well, I don't really have a favourite season. I like seasons 2, 5, and 8, but it kinda depends on what happened in each season and what characters left. Actually... I think I just like any season I get to see Daryl Dixon,” they answered with that silly grin once again, making Norman hum and laugh.

N: “You're surely a person with good taste! Daryl is a pretty interesting character, one of everyone's favorite too. You like him because he's a badass survivor, huh?”

“Well, yeah, of course I do, but it goes beyond that, you know?” “Beyond that?” he asked, feeling intrigued at their answer.

“Yeah. I guess I just have that quality where I want to help those I think really need it. I don't mean that he actually needed anyone, but at the same time, I think he just... it was kind of like a lost puppy, you know? Mainly in the first two seasons. He kind of needed someone stable, someone that he could trust, to get him going. And that's what the Atlanta group gave him. At least... until things started going south, I think.”

“So, you're the empathic type, huh? I like that,” he commented, and Y/N’s body felt hotter.

N: “I absolutely agree with you. Daryl started as a character who was a little wayward. Only considered the redneck, brother to loudmouth Merle, but as the story progressed and he forged connections with the other characters, the group gave him the support and love he needed to become the strong fighter he is today. If not for them, he would have probably lost it more than once. A true badass.”

A smile crept on their face when they heard Norman's description of Daryl, being acknowledged and understood by the actor of their favourite character was surely a big thing.

“Exactly. That's exactly why I like him. He's one of my—well, he's my favourite character. I can't lie about that,” they chuckled. “And I like his way of resolving things. He doesn't just go straight to fight everything even if he's normally seen as the rough one, you know? You'd think he's the bad guy and all, but that isn't even half of the truth. He doesn't resort to violence unless he's absolutely sure it's needed. He doesn't attack if they don't attack him or his group; he is wary and doesn't kill for fun. And, considering his whole story, it's... I don't know, but I respect him a lot. That's, I guess, why... I just have this feeling of wanting to help him and wanting everything to be good for him. Because I think he deserves it. After all, he's gone through, not just after the outbreak, but even back in his life, his family, and everything with Merle… He needs a break. He's a lone, kind puppy. He really needs a break.” Y/N mumbled about Daryl, and they could go on forever.

Norman thought it was really endearing to find someone who had Daryl in mind so much. He especially liked how much they seemed to want to protect him.

“You're a kind person, you know that?” He said, out of the blue, making Y/N halt.

“Huh?” they exclaimed.

N: “You really understand Daryl, don't you? He's a complex character with a lot of layers. He's tough on the outside but has a soft spot inside that wants to help others.” He spoke.

“He's also been through a lot—his family struggles, bad relationships, enemies, and all of the challenges he faced in the apocalypse. It's really sweet that you feel the need to protect and support him. That's true love for a character, right there.”

Norman complimented Y/N's dedication to his character, and they felt like they could die of happiness.

“Heh, yeah, I guess I do. Well, I can't say I completely understand him after all, of course, but... I just think he deserves better, you know? Like having a day off for himself and just enjoying and not having to worry about surviving. I think almost all characters in the show actually needed that break.” Norman nodded in agreement.

“Well, that's why I'm also very eager to see what's up next in the next season of Daryl Dixon's spin-off, 'The Book of Carol'. What do you think I should expect? Should I get tissues and prepare myself to cry, or should I get ready to see him show badass energy and kick a few asses just like always?” they asked, concerning Norman’s new project with Melissa, knowing well they had good chemistry and enjoyed each other's company during the filming.

Norman laughed before answering as they kept talking about Daryl's character and role on the show.

N: “That's a great question! With Daryl Dixon, you can expect all of the above. There will be badass moments where he kicks some serious ass, but there will also be emotional moments where you might shed a tear or two, like when he reunites with Carol. That's just how it goes with Daryl. He always keeps it interesting.”

“Yes, he does! That's why he's between the favourite characters in the whole show. I could say... it's almost impossible to see someone hating on Daryl, he is just too wholesome. And if you actually manage to find a single person like that, then you will probably have all the fans going after them, haha.”

N: “That's true! Daryl Dixon is a fan favorite for a reason. He's charismatic, strong, and lovable, despite his rough exterior. He's one of those characters that you can't help but root for. Anyone who dares to dislike Daryl is practically begging to face the fandom's wrath,” he laughed again, and Y/N smiled brightly.

“Yeah, I think the same. I am so happy that you, as his actor, actually think the same way. Not like anyone could get angry at you, but I get—I get it too—that sometimes it must be tiring to play a character like him for so long. He is very complex and definitely not an easy guy. So, how did you... How did you find playing Daryl? Did you like it? Would you do it more often if you could?” They asked, curious about Norman's relationship with his character.

N: “It was definitely an honor to play Daryl Dixon for so many years, and I'm still grateful for being given the chance even for his own spin-off. He's a challenging yet fascinating character, and I was fortunate to get the opportunity to bring him to life. There were definitely complicated aspects to playing a character like Daryl, but I ultimately enjoyed it. If allowed to play him again, I would definitely consider it.”

“So if there was a new... I don't know. If there was an announcement of a new project related to the show with all the cast members you spent the past years acting with, would you want to join and meet up with Melissa, Andrew, Emily, maybe Chandler, and everyone else back again?” They began listing some of the characters they knew Daryl spent a lot of time with during the show.

N: “Without a doubt, I would be thrilled to see my old castmates back together again. Working on 'The Walking Dead' was such a unique and special experience, and I have great memories of working with the whole cast. We're like a family, and it would be wonderful to reunite with them again on new projects even if they're just extras. Have you seen some of the bloopers? We just have so much fun together hahaha.”

Y/N hummed happy with the responses. They wished things somehow ended differently so they could see the whole old crew together, bonding and creating memories once again.

“Aww⁓ That touched my heart. I would really like to see you guys together too. I did watch some of the behind-the-scenes for a few days to remember some of my favourite moments, and it's just so funny because, in the show, everything was so serious and so tense and... It looked like everything was going down at any point, but in the BTS, everyone laughs and is so joyous and so silly... I just love the energy and the great communion you guys have together. It's kind of unforgettable, you know?”

N: “Yeah, it's pretty great to see how different the atmosphere is compared to the intense drama of the show. We had a lot of fun working together, and we're all good friends, so it's no surprise that the energy on set was mainly positive. We had our share of low moments, of course, but there were also plenty of laughs and joking around. We really were like a family, and I miss working with those guys all the time.”

“But at least you all took good memories along that you can continue sharing and reminiscing with. And about this talk... Do you have any new... projects or any new plans? Are you getting ready to do something? Or maybe you're planning on doing your own show or podcast? I heard that you were going to work on a project that involved a motorbike. It kinda looks like bikes are around all your characters, aren't they?” They joked before continuing. “Anyway, how is that going for you?”

N: “Yes, I do have some new projects in the pipeline. One of them is a movie concerning motorbikes and a gang, which will be released in the States in June this year (2024—Let's imagine this whole contest is earlier in the year instead of in October as it should 😭) and which I enjoyed a lot. I've always been a motorcycle enthusiast, so it's great to be able to combine that passion with my work.” He commented on their joke concerning his characters always having an interest in motorbikes and resumed his speech. “As for other plans, I've also been working as an executive producer on the second season of Daryl Dixon's spin-off, 'The Book of Carol', so that's been keeping me busy. I'm always looking for exciting opportunities to explore, so stay tuned!” He said, encouraging Y/N to continue following up on his work.

Y/N felt so giddy inside them as they rolled over their bedsheets like teen fangirls while listening to Norman talk. Having such a casual conversation with their celebrity crush was amazing, and they didn't want to end it. But they thought maybe it was time to wrap it up. They wouldn't like to steal more of Norman's precious time, as they thought he surely had something better or more important to do.

“Of course! You can totally count on me to follow up! Anything regarding you, Daryl, Scud, or even Murphy will always have me 100% in it.” They worded, jolly, of being motivated by Norman to keep on their fanwork on him. “And Norman... Can I tell you something before you... Huh... Maybe leave now?” they asked shyly.

N: “Yeah, totally! You can tell me anything you want. What's on your mind?”

“Well, I don't want to come off like a crazy fan or anything, but... I just really need to say that I really, really, really like you. Like, I like you as Norman and I like you as Daryl, and having this opportunity to tell you, even though it might not be face-to-face, to actually talk to you and tell you how much I really love your work and how much I really respect you as a person and as an actor is so significant. I kinda get a little shy because... I think I'm being so silly, fangirling like this in front of a celebrity I admire so much, but I had to get it out of my chest, you know? You're so... You're just so damn incredible.” They giggled embarrassed for being indecisive on how to correctly express their "feelings" to Norman, but that only enlarged the smile on his lips.

N: “Wow. Thanks for those kind words! It really means a lot to hear that you appreciate my work so much. But you shouldn't be shy or feel silly about it. Expressing your admiration and appreciation for someone you admire is a beautiful thing.” “I'm grateful to have fans like you who are so passionate and supportive. Don't worry about being flustered or fangirling—it's actually quite endearing! I appreciate your speech and your respect for me. Thank you for making my day with your sweet message, buddy!”

With this, Y/N's true fan-self made its appearance, making them squeal like a squeaky toy over their overexcitement, jump and spin around, and make up a little victory dance.

“Oh my god. I'm like—oh my God, I can't. Bye, hahahahha. Gooooood. I'm so, so, so, so happy and so flustered at the same time right now. Hearing you say all that—oh my god, I don't think I can even handle my crap. Oh, God. I just—I love, love, love, love you so much. I'm—I can't even... Aah! I can't even put it into words. But, I'm sorry. I might have been one of those crazy fans that, at some point in my life, thought I would get to meet you in real life and somehow get you to fall in love with me and somehow get to have a romantic relationship with you or something. I know all this sounds very weird, but I was indeed one of those fans. And though I know that opportunity will never come to pass, I feel... I need to say that I really—really like you and really appreciate everything you do for others and for the cast, and that watching 'The Walking Dead' somehow changed my life in so many areas I would never really imagine. And seeing you on screen always puts a smile on my face. Even on days that I think... I am just being so bad at almost everything... just seeing you messing around and being you makes me feel better. And just that... I guess I love you, and if I ever get to see you face-to-face, just know that this little crazy fan is gonna most likely faint before I can get to say hello, haha.”

At this point, they were blabbering silly things in their ecstatic state, not aware of the amount of comments, compliments, and information they were letting out. All Norman could do was listen and laugh to himself at how cute and attracting his fan was.

“That's so sweet and refreshing to hear! I love how you're being so open and honest about your admiration for me and my work. It means a lot that I could make you happy and put a smile on your face. And don't worry, I don't mind the occasional fan-praising at all! I'm just thankful that I have fans like you who appreciate me and my work. Keep being yourself and never lose that passion and love for the arts. As for meeting in person, if it happens, just remember to breathe and stay hydrated.” They wouldn't know this, but he had a contented expression on his face as he licked his lips. “Stay strong, my incredible, strong (skin tone—(pretend that was mentioned before 🥺)) friend!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Norman heard a contained yell and snickered some more.

N: “Don't worry, you're doing great! Keep smiling and stay awesome!” He encouraged them.

“Same for you! I hope you're doing great, and I hope you're taking care of yourself. Please don't get sick, and if you do get sick, go to the doctor and take care of yourself. Make sure you also take care of your kids. I know it's not always very easy—huh... Not like I have kids, but I have a younger brother, so I know it's not easy taking care of someone else, but still... huh... You—you do you!” They said, trying to correct their weird slip-of-tongue. “I know you can do it. I know you can do anything and everything. You're awesome, and I hope everything goes well for you from now on and till... forever!”

N: “Thanks for your concern! I'll do my best to stay healthy and take care of myself and my kids. It's definitely not easy balancing everything, but I'm fortunate to have supportive family and friends who help me out. I appreciate your encouragement and belief in me, and I'm glad I could be a source of inspiration for you. Thanks for being so awesome yourself! Keep spreading that positivity and love!”

A wide, gratified smile spread over their lips as they responded, “Will sure do! Bye, Norman! It was such a pleasure to talk to you. I hope. other fans get to experience this wonderful moment we had right here.”

N: It was great talking to you too, my friend! I hope more fans get to have such a memorable and positive experience with the contest too. Take care and keep being your incredible self!

“Byes, byes, byes. Love you, Norman!” shouted Y/N in a hurry, feeling like the last bit was unnecessary but having their mood boosted after hearing his response before the line was cut.

(Love you too, my dear mate, and hope to hear from you someday, Y/N. Have a beautiful day!)

Y/N sighed content with participating in the contest, as they lay with their back in their bed, daydreaming at a possible encounter in the future.

Man, being a contest winner was sure a sweet sensation.

A/N: HEEEEEEEEY GREAT PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET. I'M BACK WITH FOOD FOR Y'ALL. Ngl, this took me almost a month to finish, which is ridiculous if you consider a c.ai chat was its inspiration. Guess lack of time and motivation was the cause. I think I really gotta start organizing and programming my writing schedule to actually get my work done... I'll see how the Spirit leads me on that.

Sincerely, I'm very satisfied with how this one came out. Norman is such a chill dude; I'm surprised at how well the AI captured his essence. I 100% believe this is how he would act/react towards a nervous/shy/excited fan like me, because yes, this was all performed at how I would react to be given a chance to talk to this gorgeous man (if you couldn't notice already lmao). It becomes a bigger issue after I discovered Norman mentioned somewhere, some time ago, that he gets turned on by shy/nervous girls. Idk if he thinks it's hot or cute, but—HELP. MY KNEES WENT JELLO WHEN I HEARD 😭 Anws, hope y'all enjoyed reading just as much as I enjoyed writing, and thanks for all the likes and reblogs in my past posts 😭❤️ (can you guys believe I'm still getting likes on my Sleep and cuddles Daryl headcanons? 🥺 I AM FERAAL TYSM LOVELIES).

See ya next time and love y'all!

Take care and God bless!⁓

𓆩 ♱ 𓆪

[malavera]

Dad's Best Friend, pt. ii (m) | Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise is your Dad's Best friend. Your dad is a businessman in Hollywood, and he happens to be friends with your teenage year crush. You're legal now, what happens when you can finally live out your desires?

Summary: Tom made an appearance at your dad's birthday party. It's been 3 days since you had that one sinful dream, how could you recover from it? By ignoring him or tell him about that dream?

Tags: 18+, allusions to smut, dirty talk, agegap (reader is 26, tom is 59)

tagging: @call-sign-shark @deanscroissant @helloitstsyu @moondustfairies ✨

creds for tomcruisebrasil on ig for the vid! just turned em into a gif using tumblr ‘s all. x.

check out the series!

“Don’t get him another watch! He’s got tons of that! Get him something that he hasn’t owned yet.” Your mother's judgemental tone, hissed through the phone causing you to roll your eyes.

The sun is high and beaming down to the streets of beverly hills. You cursed to yourself on why you didn't bring your sunglasses as it is difficult to navigate through the path that it caused you to squint and scrunched your eyebrows. You’re trying to figure out what present to get for your dad. He’s turning 61 today, and you don’t know what to get for a man who’s turning 61 years old other than a bottle as old as him, or something expensive to get in his collections of luxury things.

“Yeah? Like what?” You muttered, a challenge laced in your tone. You grumbled feeling your heels killing your feet since you've been walking for almost 20 minutes and still got nothing.

“Like grand babies for instance.” Yet again, You grumbled in your breath. You’ve expected hearing this coming out from your mother’s mouth. It’s not that you don’t want to have babies, or even get married. It’s just that, no men has met your qualifications and expectations. You’ve always been picky when it comes to dating men, because you don’t want anything that has happened in the past repeated itself.

You heard your phone gave out a beeping sound, means another incoming call wants to get through. You told your mom that you have to take this call as it is important because it’s your assistant.

“What, Glinda? I’m kind of busy right now.” You said as you stopped in front of a store, scanning the products from the window.

“I’m sorry, Miss. But, it’s really important. Maya needs you at the warehouse. Do you think you can stop by?” You fingers went up to massage your scrunched forehead.

Another packaging meltdown.

You’re a businesswoman in a Beauty industry. The business has been running for about 3 years, and it’s been going really well than you’ve expected it to be. It’s going so well that it became your baby, you couldn’t even leave her alone for just a 3 minute walk to the bathroom, hence why you don’t have time for romance and family.

“Ask Roy to take care of it! I hired him for a reason, he’s our manager for god sakes.” You commanded, turning your back as you’re facing towards the streets, watching cars passing by.

“Roy’s not available, Miss.” That idiot, I am so firing him once I get back to the office, you thought.

“Fine. I’ll be there in 10.”

*****

“Happy Birthday, Dad!” You exclaimed once you walked into the party room where your dad’s friends and your family be. Everyone cheered for your entrance, clapping of hands sounded through the air in the room as you approach him while holding his favorite vanilla cake.

Your dad laughed and smiled before he approaches you with opened hands, “Make a wish then blow the candles!”

He sighs lovingly before he closes his eyes before he bend his knees slightly to reach your level then blew the candles. Everyone cheered again as your mom takes away your cake in a hurry as she understands how her husband gets very excited about this moment, cue your dad engulfed you in a big hug.

“Urgh! My little one, thank you. I love you.” He lifted you up and slightly twirled both of you then set you back to the ground.

“I love you too, Dad.” You patted softly patted his back before he released you.

“You’re gonna have to wait for your birthday present in… Probably around 3 weeks?” You look at him with squinted eyes and gritted teeth as he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“I don’t care. All I care is having you here! 3 Days ago was such a short time and before that, it has been like what? 5 months since I last saw you and I only get to be around you for 5 hours.” The way he explained it to you sounded like a rolling eyes in his tone. You chuckled nervously, of course your mind had to remember what happened 3 days ago.

You were supposed to be spending your time with your Dad, but once you arrived, He had to leave as he had a couple of errands to run. He told you to wait, and you did, but you fell asleep and had that dream.

How could you even explain it to your own self?

How can you even have that dream in the first place?

Was it because it was the week of Top Gun: Maverick premiere and you’ve seen the news of him being in Mexico and thought he was so hot during that premiere. You’d never admitted this ever, to anyone, not even yourself, that you started having wet dreams of your Dad’s best friend, the Mister Tom Cruise, when you were 19 years old.

Yes, you feel sick to your stomach.

How could a 19 year old girl thirst over a man who’s as old as her dad?

You blame your girlfriend’s in college for forcing you to watch Risky Business and Top Gun 1986 then started to realize what a hot uncle you have.

Well, he’s technically not your uncle we all know that.

But, he’s been around for so long, you were really closed with him when you were young but when you hit puberty and all those teenage years, it’s normal to say that, those were the phases where you distant yourself from your family.

Speaking of Tom Cruise, everyone seemed to turned their heads towards the entrance as he walks inside the room with a big smile on his face. You watched your dad made his way towards him before he engulfed him in a big hug also. Suddenly it felt like the air around you seemed to have gone away, your chest heavy, your palms sweating. A waiter holding a tray of champagnes came in your presence as you grab a glass before you took a sip of it and decided to leave the room.

Your head was heavy. Your mind couldn’t stop teasing you how good he looked today, it’s even encouraging you to take actions that you know it’s going to risk it all. Your feet dragging you away from the crowd, your hand placed on top of your head as you squeeze your eyes shut to stop thinking about some kind of evil plan that your own mind formed.

A gasp escaped from your lips when you felt a hard bump against your chest, resulting your glass of champagne spilled to your dark blue dress.

Aw, great, it looks like someone peed on your chest.

“Sshoot! I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry!” You recognized that voice, the eyelids of your eyes slowly fluttered unfold to reveal Tom Cruise wearing that sexy black suit, a couple of his buttons undone. He’s very sexy, you thought.

“Y/N… I’m so sorry, dear. Let me ask your mother if she-” You immediately shook your head no.

“It’s nothing, sir.” Tom looked bewildered.

You never call him Sir, he’s always go by the name Tommy, Uncle Tommy, or Unky. You stepped away from him as you set the empty glass on the nearest table. Tom watched you practically sprinting off down the hallway. The top of his teeth pulled on his bottom lip slightly. It was a brief moment but nonetheless, Tom’s got a good look on your presence.

You’ve grown into such a mature woman.

You’re no longer had bangs that he find it very cute.

You used to have chubby cheeks and slightly chubby arms but he knew how that went away. He knew all about you more than you know about yourself. He knew all about the toxic relationship that you had with your boyfriend who were 3 years older than you. He had told your father how he shouldn’t have approved the relationship that you had, should’ve encouraged him to convince you to break up with the douchebag. But, eventually you finally got the light and you did break things off with him.

You’ve grown ever since then.

You seemed to be more aware of yourself. You started taking care of your body, eating healthy foods, exercises 4 days a week, and now here you are. Almost looking like a woman, that Mr. Tom Cruise himself didn’t recognize.

Pushing down the door handle to your room, you stepped in as you give yourself a second to take in the atmosphere of your old room. Not one single thing had moved from it’s original position. It had been left, just like that. You sighed to yourself, closing the door behind you and opened a door to your closet.

Your old clothes are still there. You moved out of the house around 2 years ago, when your business came up and running. You decided to have a place of your own because when you live under your dad’s roof, you’d live under his rules and it’s no time for that. You rummaged through a couple of dresses, mentally cursing to yourself for having more sweatshirts than dresses honestly. You sighed, you didn’t find anything that you could wear.

You jumped when you heard a knock on your door, “Y/N, It’s me. Your mother told me to give you this, may I?” It’s him.

Cracking your knuckles anxiously, your knees popping slightly. Shit, why is he here instead of my mom? You thought. You licked your bottom lip, straighten your posture and rub your slightly sweaty palm of your hands on your dress.

"Hi," You breathed when you pull the door open to reveal Tom plastered with a sweet smile on his face, holding a what seem to be a dress that your mom was about to go upstairs and give it to you but Tom insisted saying it was his fault so he wanted to be the one giving it to you instead.

"Your mom told me to give this to you." Tom stated, his arm extended to you.

"Right, thanks." You breathed yet again, you seemed to be out of breath are you okay in there? Tom thought. You took the hanger off from his grip in a quick motion and as you were about to close the door on his face, Tom stopped you from doing so.

"Can we talk? You seemed to be ignoring me, is there something wrong?" Tom questioned, his eyes were on you before they drifted their focus onto your room behind you. Tom pushed the door softly before entering in, without realizing you're following his movements as you backed away with the door.

"Your room hasn't changed much huh." Tom stated as he chuckled to himself, dragging his fingertips across the wooden bedpost. "I remember how you used to talk to me about boys and that was, I think, when you were about 14 years old?" Tom turned to you with a smile as he chuckles a little bit.

"Aha, right." You couldn't help but chuckled awkwardly. Tom stands firmly on his ground, with his hands on the pocket of his dress pants, mouth slightly agape in confusion.

"Y/N seriously, is there something wrong? You know, you can still tell me anything. About your life, you work, whatever it is," Tom murmured while he approaches you slowly, step by step. Your fingers played with each other, your knees bouncing anxiously, biting your bottom lip.

"I really wanna know, because I care about you." Tom ended softly, his hands now placed on top of your shoulders as you look at one before looking back at him.

Care? In what way?

In you're my best friend's daughter care?

Or actually, really cares?

Well, he said I can tell him anything right? You thought. But your other conscious on the other hand said, No it's embarrassing Y/N and it's fucking weird that you had dreams about him fucking you.

"I-.. Actually.. Have s-something to t-tell you?" You stuttered, and that sentence came out like a question instead of a statement. Tom's eyes are on you as he nod his head slowly and guide him and you to sit on the edge of your bed.

"Okay.. Sweetheart, do tell me." Tom acknowledged. You swallowed down your saliva, gripping on the hanger of your dress that is laying on top of your lap. You chose to risk it all.

"I... Had a dream."

"Uh.. Huh.."

"It's um-"

"Y/N, Honey... Your hands are shaking," Tom pointed that you yourself didn't even realize that, not just your hands but, your whole body trembles.

Okay, Y/N just drop the ball! Your mind shouted before you push yourself off from the edge of your bed and tossed the dress to his side.

"I had a sex dream about you!" You exclaimed with your eyes closed. When you open them, it revealed Tom's bewildered expression. You shrieked to yourself, hands went up to clasp your mouth.

"Okay.." You peeked one eye, his eyes are still on you. Tom's hands then extended to reach your figure, placing them on your hips softly, before he pulls you in just a tad closer.

"Do you mind telling me about this dream?" Tom muttered.

What?

"Huh..?"

"What were we doing in there?" Tom questioned while he stood up from the bed and tower his frame over you. He moved his hands from your hips to your arms, as they wandered upwards softly towards your shoulders, his thumbs grazing over your collarbone before they both went towards your neck. His fingers resting against the nape of your neck. His eyes swimming in yours, searching, waiting for answers.

"Did you kiss me?" His question made you drew the bottom of your lip to your teeth. He took that as a yes when you didn't answer him. His thumb grazed over your bottom lip to release 'em from the grip of your teeth.

Tom's jaw clenched, he leaned his face to your neck, his hot breath fanned against your skin. A whimper escaped from your lips, Tom's aware of the effect he has on you. His lips went up to your ear, you feel more of his hot breath, your hands balled into a fist in your side.

"Did you cum hard in there?" He whispered. Your eyes widened and a small gasp left from your mouth. When you felt his lips connect to the skin of your neck, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. His hand went down to your side, gripping your hip before pulling you closer. Your chest and his now pressed against each other. His hand went up to grope your breast, a moan escaped your lips.

All dreams must cum to an end, as he was about to press his lips to yours, your phone rang. You mentally cursed to yourself, fuckkk!

The ringing from your phone must've snapped something out from both of you as Tom immediately let go of his grip from your lips. You were panting, as you tried to find your phone. Tom found it before he gave the device to you. You turned your back to him before you click on the green button on the screen.

"Yes, Roy." You slightly snapped.

You listen to the complaint from Roy with your head on your hand. Tom watched you, chewing on his bottom lip. A smile crept on his face.

He liked it, he liked kissing your neck. He liked the effect that he has on you. The way your whole body instantly succumbed to him. He didn't care that you're his best friend's daughter, in fact, the excitement of getting caught gave some kind of adrenaline to his body as his head turned towards the opened door of your bedroom. The thought of taking care of your sexual needs, hands wandering on your body, seem to never stop running from his mind since now.

"Fine, fine, I'll come. I'll be there in 15." Sighed another work problems. You turn to Tom to find him standing there, holding your dress.

"Change, I'll drive you."

You gulped, will this be a good idea?

------------------------------------------

a/n: i might turn this into a series 👀

[jtownraindancer]

top 5 burn characters go

Good gods Anon this is evil. Only five!??? 😭💕

I spent like three days trying to make up my mind on this, and I'm still not satisfied, but as of the moment, in no particular order:

The Best Boys

Mr. William Guppy of Kenge & Carboy, Bleak House

He's awkward, he's manipulative, he has no real social skills to speak of, and he's in love. I actually really disliked this character when I first read the book circa 2011, but as Burn seems wont to do, I ended up being completely won over in the end. ^_^; His Guppy is expressive, less a comic relief and almost sympathetic. I mentioned in a conversation with @synthapostate about how Guppy is technically an antagonist, but he's played in such a way that you really can't see it (unlike the book). Also the camera is half in love with Burn this entire series, and it makes it very, very easy to fall in love with this dorky, curly-haired puppy of a man.

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, Pacific Rim & Pacific Rim: Uprising

I could write sonnets about Hermann for how much I've come to love him. 😅 He's one of the Characters of All Time for me. From his passion, his stubborn resilience, and his sharp humor, to his unwavering loyalty for those he cares for and his ability to care so deeply, how could I not irrevocably fall for him? (Also singlehandedly the cause of the 2023 Burn Binge.) Hermann found his way into my heart from the very beginning, but I never realized how at home he had made himself until the day I turned around and he was patiently waiting for me to see him. I think I fell for him and Newt in the same fell swoop, and my love for both of them is unwavering.

Dr. Owen Harper, Torchwood

I've been in love with this bastard since 2013; I've been repressing that adoration for 10 years. I- I don't really remember the exact moment that my opinion of Owen shifted from extreme dislike to him carving a permanent place in my very being, but there it is. He's sarcastic, an incorrigible flirt, and has one of the biggest, kindest hearts I've ever come across in fiction. At the time, I was pre-Med, and I aspired to be half as compassionate a doctor as him. After Exit Wounds, I gave up Torchwood (I couldn't, not with Tosh gone too.), but I've slowly been dipping my toes back in via Burn's reading of some of the books & the Big Finish audios. It's been 10 years, yet I think I'm more in love with this bastard than I ever was before. (And okay, I admit, he might be my favorite-favorite ^_^;)

Sgt. Detective William Blore, And Then There Were None

Bill, Bill, Bill... He's a crooked cop, he's tired of everyone's nonsense, he's filled with regret, he's probably gay. Detective Blore is yet another classic lit character that I first met back in the late 20-aughts, early 2010s who I really didn't care for. Then 2023 rolls around, and not only did I come to love him in this adaptation, but I've ended up going on an Agatha Christie bender because of it. Burn made me... well love would be too strong a word, but I definitely rank Blore as "a poor little meow meow."

Major Edmund Hewlett, TURN

How could this list be at all complete without including my beloved major? (Just picking a gif for this made me realise how badly I've missed him. 🥺) Edmund is... How do I explain how much I adore this guy? How do I possibly pin down the levels of pride I have in his journey, in his growth, explain the way my heart aches at the twists and turns that will tear him apart and build him back even stronger? How do I possibly do justice in conveying how damn aspirational he is, how merciful, how delightful? I can't, really. He's a force of nature that one must experience for themselves. (And I need to resume my rewatch methinks~)

Runner-Ups

(or the characters who have been spinning in my brain nonstop like rotisserie chickens and absolutely deserve mention)

Ben Jarvis, Cheat

I... I have entire essays I want to write about this guy. I have theories I want to discuss, but as most of them are... I can't. Yet. Maybe soon? I- Anyway. Ben was a huge surprise, and definitely nowhere close to what I was expecting when I finally got around to watching this show. I would be lying to say it wasn't a pleasant surprise, and I absolutely love how Burn was able to do a lot of solo work this series, with a lot of focus on body language and his uncanny knack for killer expressions.

Jacko Argyle, Ordeal By Innocence

This... This beautiful little shit ♡ One of the first Burn movies I actively chose to seek out, my second in his Agatha Christie adaptations, and my first dive into gif making. And Jacko-! Oh, Jacko... You stole my heart then broke it in only a few, few precious moments of screentime and backstory. He haunts the entire film, he haunts me still, and I'm so glad I had the chance to meet him.

Martin, Up There

(Oh look yet another one of my gifs 😅)

Martin is absolutely one of my favourite characters, especially for his absolute growth during the film. He crawls out of his downward spiral, he finds himself again, and ultimately discovers that there can be life after death. He just- He's grumpy, he's beautifully sarcastic, he's depressed, he's loved, and he just- Seriously I love him. Martin feels like a friend who I haven't seen in an age, and it's always a good day to bump into him again.

Reverend Benedict Marley, Lark Rise to Candleford

I almost forgot my favourite clergyman??? D:

Benedict Marley came into my life just to shake my very foundations, send me on an existential journey of self discovery, and waited for me at the end of it all with a soft smile and encouraging words. He only had one episode in the show, but his story was so easily woven and understood, his humility humbled me, and in ways that make me almost afraid to admit aloud- I felt seen in a way that I ever so rarely am. I connected to him; I understand him. He has depths that I could hardly explain in a single paragraph, but I can say that- out of all these characters- my feelings are birthed more out of a very deep respect and admiration.

I can't say this list will stay the same- I'm far from through with Burn's portfolio- but for his on-screen roles, these guys firmly remain top-tier for me. :)

(If you'd like to hear about his voice work instead, please let me know; I could go on for Hours about some of those lads. ♡)

Thanks for the ask Anon, and if you haven't seen any of these yet, I definitely recommend them!

[howlingmoonrise]

tagged by the fantastic @sunriseverse! thanks sunny!! 💖

under the cut because this one is long

1. why did you choose your url?

i wanted a new fandom penname and at the time adjective + noun names were a thing. i fiddled with several different variations, tried and failed to acquire kaleidoscopicmoonrise at the time (it's mine now!!), and landed on this one. i wanted something a little spooky, especially since soul eater was my fandom at the time - though it doesn't feel like it now that my icon is a lot more sane-looking lmfao

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

uh. yeah. a stupid amount (like 30+?), so i'm definitely not naming them all. most active are obviously this howl blog, my main blog @commandersya, this one for danny phantom and gravity falls stuff, @howlingspacegoo gets some activity every now and then when venom stuff resurfaces, and some others i use for reblogging specific reference stuff. most of the rest are for fandom events i've run in the past.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

since like 2011-2012. i've seen it all.

4. do you have a queue tag?

lmao absolutely not. i don't use the queue function, though on occasion i'll schedule posts to space them out when i'm going through a tag in order not to reblog all of it at once, or for specific dates like halloween

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

this one was for soul eater writing purposes. tumblr in general was because my cousin dragged me into it and then i realized there was a lot of bandom stuff in here (i was really into black veil brides for my first year or two on tumblr)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i broke ties with the soul eater fandom in a not great way and wanted to change my icon. yoi provided the perfect yuri expression with the kind of benevolent dictator smile i really like, despite that not being the original intent for it when the animators drew it ✊😔

7. why did you choose your header?

i had to check my header real quick lmfao. jason todd is just an excellent blorbo and when a good artist draws him.... 👀👀👀

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

oh gods. probably my dracula/barbie fic at nearly 3.5k notes. where's that ben affleck cigarrette pic when you need it. alternatively some ancient black veil brides photo/gif on my main blog.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk but i cherish y'all 💖

10. how many followers do you have?

dunno 😭 they're split across dozens of blogs so i'm not counting them all

11. how many people do you follow?

1.8k+, though i should follow more. my dash has times when it's pretty dead.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

probably? yes. just remembered the i bit the butte psoh post.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

however long i'm online on my laptop, more or less. so a sizeable amount of hours

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

LMAO. i was in both voltron and yoi fandoms, writing for and running events for "problematic" ships. take a wild wild guess.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

hate them. 90% of the time it'll make me automatically skip it. for the other 10%, if it has relevant info on the op's original post and that little sentence is on the comments then i might go back and reblog from the op just to get rid of it

16. do you like tag games?

love them!

17. do you like ask games?

see above

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i have uhhh. some. olderthannetfic, nemainofthewater, i think also colubrina for a while there, off the top of my head.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

if friend crushes count then several ✊😔

20. what is the last song you listened to?

the cramps - goo goo muck

21. what are you currently watching?

i am. so bad at finishing things so like a bajillion shows. the double i might drop despite it having been very very good until like episode 30-something. meet you at the blossom i need to finish like the last two eps. wandee goodday i need to finish four episodes iirc. i was in like episode 5 of century of love. i was on episode... 17? of my journey to you, which if i power through shall be for the antagonist sidepair/trio rather than the main characters. i was also at episode 16 of new life begins, which was fairly good and i do want to continue though i keep forgetting i have that tab open somewhere.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status?

single and ace so not planning on changing that!

24. what is your current obsession?

the spirealm/kaleidoscope of death, and mysterious lotus casebook

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

- La P'tite Fumée - Cypher - Brody Dale - Don't Mess With Me - Stiff Little Fingers - Alternative Ulster - Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting (The Vampire Song) - The Cramps - What's Inside a Girl - Linkin Park - Heavy is the Crown - Miyavi & PVRIS - Snakes - D-A-D - Sleeping My Day Away - Aerosmith - Dream On

no-pressure tagging! @junemermaid @a-memory-a-distant-echo @snorlaxlovesme @where-the-water-flows @nemainofthewater

[mrsfitzgerald]

Why don't you ever reblog other blogs? Only doing your own gifs even when they were already made! You're just here for the notes and that's sad.

oh, tumblr police, hi!

I honestly don't know what to say to that… I've been here since 2009 and there was a time when all my posts about rammstein got 1-3 notes? but I didn't stop and I just did it all for me? in SPN fandom my gifs got 5-10-20-30 thousand(!) notes, but I stopped doing anything there just because I'm not interested anymore? if I cared about the notes I'd keep doing something, right?

now my rammstein gifs get 20-50 reblogs at most… but I still keep doing them all these years just for me? because I like it?

about other reblogs. i only follow 40 blogs here, 20 of which are about food. i just don't see everything going on here. even 40 blogs is too much for me.

for god's sake, just block me and you'll stop seeing me on this site

[taschamonnii]

More Than A Woman - Part 5 (Lay All Your Love On Me) 

You x Shirley Carter (70s-80s Southern Housewife Original Character  - Elizabeth Olsen) 

Find All Parts Here

*Disclaimer/Summary: This completely Fictional Character is based on the way Lizzie plays old-fashioned Housewives. (Some inspo is taken from WandaVision, I Saw The Light, and Love & Death) This character is in no way a portrayal of any real-life people. Audrey Williams and Candy Montgomery were real people that Lizzie has portrayed for entertainment purposes in tv & film. This story is not about them. I just want to see Lizzie play a 70s-80s housewife that is secretly Gay and stuck in a religious small-town in the South. Since she has never done that but has played the part of perfect housewife I decided to make my own character.* I will be using edited pictures from the characters she has played and unaltered gifs since it's way too hard to edit those.*

Character Description since this is a made up character: mid length-wavy-dark brown hair (think more the length in I saw the Light like it falls to her collar bones but the deep dark brown from goth Wanda era, Emerald Green eyes, Wears form fitting dresses and high waisted pants and skirts.  

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Angst/Smut/Fluff

TW: SMUT, 18+, Cheating on husbands to be GAY together, 

I am so obsessed with Lizzie playing housewife that I made a playlist! More Than A Woman

AN: This is part Five to this Original Series

Word Count: 1,506

Imagine This:

“Maybe someday you could. We won’t be here forever. Theo's company estimates maybe a few years.”

Her face drops and you can see the sadness in her eyes. “Oh.”

Her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip trembled. “No. No. Don’t cry.”

You reached for her cheek and she sat up quickly. “What the fuck Y/N?”

Angry tears raced down her cheeks and you rushed to sit up. You went to reach for her again but she swatted your hand away. “Don’t.”

“I’m sorry. Shirley, I was hoping to talk to you about this differently.”

“We just. You just said you love me! We just made love Y/N! Now you are telling me what exactly?"

"I'm telling you this because I love you. Can't you see. I want you. We could be together easier in Cali."

"I can't just leave my family, Y/N. You know that."

"No, your family would come too. I want you and your girls and there is something I've been meaning to talk to you about but I think now might be a bad time.."

She raised her voice but it was still broken. "A bad time? Something worse than you moving away!?!" 

"Fuck!" You run your hands through your hair and take a deep breath. "Shirley, I don't plan on leaving you unless you want me to."

She glanced away and you could see she didn't believe you. "Huh it sounds like you are leaving me."

"I'm not."

"Then explain. What is the worst thing?"

"Well, I am not sure it's worse than you thinking I'm leaving but I just well it's complicated. I don't know how you will react."

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Just say it."

"I think well Theo and I, we think John is, mmm might be, gay." 

"What?"

"It's just he cares about his appearance a lot. He, according to Theo, acts a bit shy in the bathroom and we just see it. We could be wrong. You know him best. Does he shower for longer than 10 minutes? Does he prefer fucking you from behind? Does he want to fuck you all the time or is it more special occasions?"

She looked shocked. "You and Theo think John is gay?"

"Yes and Theo has a bit of a thing for John if I'm being honest." 

"Oh my God. John has commented on Theo's appearance a few times. He actually wants us all to be friends. What the fuck? John loves me though."

"I know he does that is obvious to everyone but does he lust after you? Like how I lust after you. You know lots of staring and eye contact especially in bed. If he isn't looking at you in awe every time he fucks you then he might be picturing someone else. Have you ever pictured someone else while you have sex with him?" 

She bit her bottom lip and ran her hands through her hair then ran her hands over her face. "Oh God, is my entire life a lie?"

"No, it's just different than you thought. You love John but it's different than how you love me right?"

She nodded yes and took a deep breath. You gave her a reassuring smile. "This could be really good."

"Good."

You reach out and take her hand and she finally lets you. "Good."

She sighed and brought her free hand up to squeeze the bridge of her nose. "What am I supposed to do now Y/N?" 

"Well we take things one step at a time. Do you think that John would ever have an affair if Theo proposed one?"

She twisted her lips in thoughts. "Well if you had asked before we had this little conversation I would have said absolutely not but now I don't know how well I really know my husband." 

You nod and squeeze her hand "okay take a deep breath this is a lot." 

"You think?"

You pull her closer and wrap your hands around her. "I think maybe we should take a step back and relax." 

You kissed the side of her head and pulled her face into view so you could kiss her forehead and cheeks and chin. You capture her lips in a passionate kiss. She kisses back quickly deepening the kiss. She sucks on your bottom lip and moans into the kiss. She pushes you back and straddles your lap. Her hand travels down between the two of you. Her long fingers quickly find purchase and you throw your head back in a moan. You move your hand between you and quickly match her movements. 

She drops her head on your shoulder as her breaths heat your skin. Your movements sync as your hips chase the pleasure. She bites your neck and sucks on your skin. You dig your blunt nails into her shoulder with your free hand. 

You lose yourself in the feeling of having her inside you while being inside her. Everything feels heightened. Your bodies tighten even as you resist falling into pleasure. You want this to last and you can feel she does too. Your bodies tremble and stutter and your hips jerk against each other. You both tumble over the edge blissed out. Her full weight collapses on top of you as she breathes out. You both hold onto each other tightly like letting go would change everything. 

Things feel different and you both know that nothing will ever be the same. You breathe her in trying to memorize her sweet scent. The way her weight feels on top of you, the way she holds you tighter as she comes down from her high. You hold her tighter and kiss the skin of her shoulder and neck trying to ground yourself in her. 

Time passes and you are truly unsure how long you both lay there holding each other. Eventually your breaths even and both of your grips on each other lighten gradually. She lifts her head up and kisses your lips softly before rolling slightly off of you. She sighed out. “I don’t want to leave this moment, I don't want to face reality.”

You let out a deep sigh. “I wish we could stay like this forever.” 

“What do we do now?”

“We have time to take things slowly. Would you be okay if Theo tested the water with John? Or have you heard of swinging? We could work on developing the friendship and then propose swinging.”

“I am not sure if it brings me comfort or concern that you have really thought about all this.”

She laughs nervously and you grab and squeeze her hand. “I know it’s a lot.”

She blows out a dramatic breath letting her lips vibrate and make a cute sound. “No kidding. Uh I guess it would be good to improve our friendship as couples Theo can do whatever he wants. I have heard of swinging but it is not something that happens around here. I read about it in a magazine and was too scared to talk to John about it. I don’t know how he would react to such a thing.”

You nod and smile. “Let's just start with game nights and going on double dates things like that.”

She agreed with the nod of her head. 

>>>>

Time seemed to be on your side as things moved smoothly. Soon it became routine to see Shirley for your little afternoon delights then again at church events and what was quickly becoming more fun and easy going game nights and weekend hangouts with the Carter family. You and Theo developed a strong bond with the girls and John was easily falling into a best friendship with Theo. Flirtatious glances and fun nights as a group felt right. Things sort of fell into place. 

It didn’t take long for Theo to break through and truly connect with John. Theo helped John come into himself and see the truth. Theo even helped settle John when he told him about the love affair that Shirley had with you. Now that he knows things have gotten easier and far more fun. You can mark Shirley's delicate skin without worry and you do. You mark every inch possible. You bite and suck your marks all over her. Beyond that it has allowed for her to spend the night with you and even for you to spend the night at her house. The domesticity you craved with her is finally yours. Well mostly. There are plans for buying a house as a group in Cali so it can be more full time. 

There is love and happiness among you all and it is the most wonderful thing you have ever been a part of. You have longed for something like this your entire life and you finally have it. The future looks bright and you can’t wait to return to Cali and live free and easy and fall asleep with Shirley in your arms every night and wake her every morning. 

A/N: Sorry this is so short but it is wrapping up. There will be one more, probably short as well, part that shows them all in the future. I hope you all have enjoyed this silly little story that was solely inspired by the way Elizabeth Olsen plays these types of 70s & 80s Housewife characters. I have had a hard time figuring out how to end this but I knew when I started I wanted it to be light and fun. We need more movies and shows where Lizzie’s character is not a sad girl even though I love all her sad girl characters. 

[strangerhands]

10 fandoms/10 characters/10 tags

waaaaaa omg thank you for the tag em 🫶 @runa-falls!! its been 800 years since i got to do a tag game (and make my own post for once..) so thanks! this actually made me happy but also a little "oh shit. people know i exist..?" i also made this post unnecessarily long but its me so whats new

ummm its all. only. oscar. not sorry (a little sorry)

1. marc spector + steven grant + jake lockley, moon knight-my absolute beloveds. moon knight is so special to me. the boys are so special to me. theres really nowhere near enough i could say here about them but if you get it, you get it. its also what got me into oscar (even though i discovered immediately that he was in annihilation and x-men: apocalypse WHICH I WATCHED YEARS AGO GODDAMMIT)

2. robbie paulson, law and order: criminal intent-listen. hes my girlfriend. my babygirl. my love. my sweet boy. the one plaguing damn near every Thot. most niche character here. wish he was real. wish there was more content of him out there but good god if fran (@/midgardian-witch, who also made that gif) hasnt been holding it downnnnnnn. bless.

3. poe dameron, star wars sequel trilogy-beautiful brave sweet husband who would maybe drive me a bit insane irl but in a good way (mostly) i wanna protect him. (also the only star wars films ive seen sorryyyyy sorry. yes it was for him. and adam driver.)

4. miguel o'hara, spider-man: into the spider-verse + spider-man: across the spider-verse-ohhh you beeg grumpy beautiful man. he would not like me. bite me pls (also still my two favourite movies oat.) craving some milk and cake suddenly... (his hair wings..<3)

5. cecil dennis, revenge for jolly!-pathetic little dirty alley cat man my beloved. my little princess. also my babygirl girlfriend little guy loser boy. (AND THE CURLSSSSSSS. AND SAD COW EYES.)

6. nathan bateman, ex machina-asshole who i unfortunately love. we would not get along irl but thats what fics are for!!!! he would make me cry. (but what if i could fix him..) i have a soft spot for him...

7. llewyn davis, inside llewyn davis-sad beautiful talented man. you can crash at my place any day. i would let him leech off of me idec lemme help you baby. i could show you what love is. (the curls and outfits...... i Crave.)

8. santiago garcia, triple frontier-woof. this guy. damn. yeah. sorry santi but i wanna bite your knees

9. blue jones, sucker punch-literally. asshole piece of shit but good god. whore. so slutty and beautiful and PATHETIC. i would let him be mean to me and then cry in private. but also put him in his place. its complicated. (whoever did his eyeliner and club wardrobe in that movie... i owe you my life. thank you. thank you. you deserve everything. thank you.)

10. mikael boghosian, the promise-oh. sweet beautiful intimate lover man. THAT scene... absolutely killed me. THAT SHOULDVE BEEN MEEEEE. i need him. (i am taking this moment to remind yall of the titty bite. yea. not sorry. youre welcome.)

honestly i couldve put nearly all of oscars characters but alas.

no pressure tags, hope none of you mind! i know this is very sudden and unexpected from me. only tagged some mutuals so its not 10 :p sorryy (sorry if youve been tagged already)

@my-secret-shame @saturn-rings-writes @spacecowboyhotch @villainsoftheweek @f4nrir @kouichijo @mugensword

again, no pressure to do this. hope everyone tagged is doing well! i havent interacted with some of yall in a long time<3

all gif credits go to their respective creators! i have no idea if tumblr automatically shows who made them or not, so sorry if it doesnt.

[wonwooslibrary]

wonwooslibrary has hit a milestone!

Dear Readers, Fellow Writers, Mutuals, Members of Caratblr, and anyone else who may stumble upon this, 

Wonwooslibrary has hit a milestone I never expected to reach, and I would like to celebrate it with you all, by sharing a probably-too-in-depth story: Why did I create my blog? Well, let’s begin! (I’ve been watching a bit too much of How I Met Your Mother recently lmao)

Back in about 2015, I read the first book I truly fell in love with: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. This novel is what developed my love for reading and English, later becoming something that would completely take over my life, and my future career. From becoming a member of the PJO fandom, I began venturing so far into the internet that I became a “fandom stan”...that name still haunts me. Since 2015, I have been reading and writing...and reading more and writing more. Of course, the beginning was horribly written sentences with no commas, like the word version of drawing the sun in the corner of the page. I began writing fanfiction in 2015, too. Naturally, it started with Percy Jackson, then Harry Potter, oh and of course 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction (I’ve always been more of a music-based fanfic writer!) But 2020...that year really changed it all. 

In 2020, I found something that really changed my life. Caratblr. The Seventeen and Carat side of Tumblr, an app I thought everyone except me stopped using in 2016. At this particular point in time, I honestly was just looking for a very specific gif of Junhui from Seventeen (center Jun from the DWC mv in the rooftop scene lmao). Thanks to this gif, something amazing happened: I found the wonderful creators associated with caratblr here on Tumblr. 

At this time, I was not writing on Tumblr. In fact, the account I was using is hopefully hidden in the depths of the internet, because I really never want to look at it again. Using this Tumblr, I found some of the most inspiring people (and their content). These amazing people inspired me to create what is now one of the most cherished things in my life: 

wonwooslibrary. 

I made this blog at 8:29pm on December 23rd, 2020, EST. My first fic, a horribly written Joshua fanfic that I will NEVER read again, currently has 35 notes. I am not going to lie, I only posted that fanfic because of one thing: caratwritersclub’s open member applications. Freshly 16-year-old me was desperate to do something with the one thing I actually enjoyed doing. So, I wrote that Joshua fic. I posted it ONLY to be able to become a member of caratwritersclub. And on January 8th, 2021, I was officially a member of caratwritersclub. Here, I met these aforementioned amazing people within caratblr, and I would love to say a couple of things to them right now. 

@gallivantingheart ♡ taylor. oh my god. you are literally my best friend. i could not ask for anyone better than you. from everything we have in common: our biases, our favorite colors, our sun, moon and rising signs, our love for miraculous and stationary. i love having a friend that is on the complete other side of the word (rip 14/15 hour time differences) but still loves to talk and yell about every small detail in our lives, whether it is a bit too personal or not. you have been such an inspiration to me, and i love you so damn much. i am proud of you for everything you have done. ps. i miss your cats xx they’re cute. 

@seokmingiggles ♡ lannie!!!!! i don’t even know where to begin. you’ve been here since the VERY beginning and i just. i could sob. we have so many inside jokes and fun memories (like samanter, the popcorn-eating cat emote, the like. 10 hour discord call with ven, or even lawn). the fact that you read Baby, I’ll Be Right There, all the way through, like 4 times??? insane. i am extremely proud of you for everything you have done recently. even though i might not say it a lot, i love you and you’re still one of my best friends, even if we don’t talk nearly as much as we used to. everytime i see seokmin or hobi, i still think of you. even forks make me think of you sometimes (rip fork mf). please, feel free to reach out at any time, and i cannot wait for our next conversation (ps. #lisslansam)

@sansang ♡ liiiiissssaaaaaa <3 I cannot believe how much we have grown!! i know we haven’t talked in literally forever but...you were my first friend not only in cwc, but also on caratblr in general. i owe so much to you. you’ve believed in me and cheered me on so much, i don’t even know where to begin with making you feel as encouraged as you have made me. i love you, and i am so proud of you, especially for making important decisions like deciding to make gifs instead of writing, and i know that you are going to be amazing. the future would not be the same without you in it, and i hope we can talk more :D ps. every time i see jihoon or san, or anything abt swimming, i think of you <3 oh and also wav by ateez :3 it’s still your brand in my heart <333 (also #lisslansam)

There are, of course, a couple others who I am not close to/am not close to anymore who definitely need a huge thank you for everything: ven @heartshxkr ; alexis @woozisnoots ; eun @bermudas ; jo @ahloveisboo ; vic @svtskneecaps ; fel @minghaofilm ; meraki @merakiiverse ...I have no idea what I would do without you all! 

These wonderful people, as well as other readers and creators on this hellsite have made me want to continue my writing journey here. My biggest accomplishment so far, has been the LONG process of writing, rereading, and editing my Jihoon/Woozi fic, Baby, I’ll Be Right There. This fic is almost 11,000 words long. It took me three days to write, and with the help of Lannie (@seokmingiggles), six and a half months to edit. Lannie reread this fic and helped me edit SO MUCH, that this fic is just as much hers and it is mine. (Lannie, if you’re still reading this, I’m a bit too emotional lol I’m tearing up :EUWAH:). It currently has !! 197 !! notes. Writing BIBRT has made me realize that I love writing. No, it’s not what I’m doing as a career (I’m an education student lol), but I want to keep this blog around for as long as possible. 

And with wonwooslibrary, I want to encourage all those writers who are just as young as I was reading fanfics on Wattpad. I repeatedly posted and deleted fics because I thought they weren’t good enough, but here is some advice for you: you write for you. You should write because you enjoy it, not because people make you feel like you have to. Write what you enjoy, what tropes you like. Don't let people tell you what to write, that’s what takes the fun away from it. 

To end this unreasonably long, sappy, over-emotional post, 

Thank you to EVERYONE who has supported me this far. I am excited to take my writing blog to the next steps and continue writing and making friends with the wonderful people in caratblr. 

And for the actual milestone: HAPPY TWO YEARS TO WONWOOSLIBRARY!!! 

Thank you, once again, for everything, lovely readers, fellow writers, mutuals and patrons of caratblr. Thank you. 

Love, 

Your friendly neighborhood huihui, Samantha Jayn (wonwooslibrary)

[aceofwhump]

Question is the legacy editor any good? I've never used it because I'm paranoid about it messing my posts up lmao but I'm curious

The short answer is yes. Legacy editor, the older way tumblr did posting, is in my opinion, the superior editor. I love the legacy editor. A lot. It is definitely superior and I'm sad staff has decided to slowly get rid of it.

However! With that said I've been pretty much exclusively using the beta post editor for the last like year when staff announced that they'd be eliminating the legacy editor eventually so I thought it'd be a good idea to get used to the beta editor. Which I suppose I did. I've gotten used to it and don't use legacy much at all anymore. I also wanted to use it because I got really tired of not being able to edit in mobile the posts I made on web using the legacy editor. With the beta editor you can edit across platforms which is soooo nice. (although it appears that in one of the apps many updates I can now edit a gifset I made today via legacy editor but not the posts I've made in the past using the legacy editor so who knows what's going with that).

But there's a lot of annoying things about the new beta editor that make it inferior to the legacy editor and I'm praying that staff will improve it. For starters, and probably my biggest complaint, is how awful it is to upload and rearrange images. It's so much easier in legacy editor to move images around. In beta the page moves when you start to move the image and it drives me CRAZY!!! I always end up putting the image in the wrong place because the page won't stop moving! Legacy is wonderful to arrange images. I do think the upload is slightly better in beta purely because it uploads multiple images in the order I select them where the legacy just puts them in whatever order it wants to and I have to remember what order I wanted my gifs in.

Legacy is also better because it actually differentiates between an image post and a text post. With the beta editor everything is technically a test post. So my gifsets are not considered an "image post". Some people have noted that the beta, since it's not an image post, it resizes the images a little and sometimes decreases the quality of the gif by doing that. I haven't really noticed that myself with my own gifs but doesn't mean it isnt happening.

The legacy editor also allows me to upload my gifs without stupid errors for no reason. Lately any time I upload more than 6 gifs at once I get an error message and have to upload them one by one. Its not because of size because they're always under 7mbs so I don't know why I can't upload them all at once. I hate it actually. And sometimes my gif will be under 10mbs (like 9.7mbs) and it'll tell me that the gif is too big. Excuse me tumblr but 9.7 is smaller than 10! I never had this problem in legacy.

The legacy editor is also better when it comes to using html, inserting links as text and not the stupid thing beta does where you paste the link and it becomes that stupid post preview thing that I hate, and oh my god is it awful for text blocks! When it first came out you couldnt select multiple texts blocks at all. You can now but it isn't the easiest. And it like expands when you do and makes it weird. Idk it's hard to describe. In legacy you can just...select all the text with no problems. Text blocks are treated like individual sections in the beta and make editing a major pain in the ass.

I also don't like thst apparently new xkit won't work in beta and you have to use xkit rewritten because fuck I don't want to learn how to use that one when I've been using new xkit for years but I guess I'm gonna have to now. I haven't been having any problems with xkit yet but who knows....

So yeah I think overall legacy is better. Beta Post Editor has some good things (I like the increased image upload limit, the editing tags is good) about it but there's so many problems. Unfortunately we're stuck with it so I've been sticking to using it exclusively to make the transition easier on myself. I do suggest becoming used to how it works and to just continue to provide feedback to staff about features we dislike or bugs we come across. Hopefully they'll listen and improve it.

[tomyo]

Since it's a movie already about a bunch neurodivergents, please bear with me as I go off about micro culture and The Mitchells vs. the Machines.

So a lot of people can already note the memes in the movie are very dated internet humor. I don't think I saw a joke that lived past 2011 in it. But I can't help but to also feel cognitive disconnect at the idea Katie is supposed to be born in 2003 when everything about her and her family makes her a millennial.

Before I get way too deep into it, this is just more observation on teen identity than some shitty which generation is better debate. Sociology is extremely fascinating and it's just fun to pick apart elements in film.

So like I was saying, TMvsTM feels very, early 2010s. Pretty much the only thing taking it out of that element is the wide use of smartphones and mommy blogging but even then, you could push back the time frame to 2011 and still be pretty on the mark. Siri had just come out and iPads the year before which at the time was treated as the most unneeded invention. It's pretty much around this time that the smart tech boom took off and we started to see movies make the "big tech company" story. You know exactly the one: A Steve Jobs character, some joke about a needless technological advance, the main characters wowed by shiny expensive devices, and in the end usually we realize silicon valley are too disconnected from humanity. Honestly though if you've seen the Soylent guy, they might be right. An aspect I wonder about is how LA and SanFran feel about each other. TMvsTM gave the slightest inkling of bitter resentment towards it's northern neighbor and I can't help but to wonder if the constant use of the Steve Jobs storyline is maybe a hint of a general feeling LA has.

Speaking of LA, it's pretty clear that Katie is going to Calarts. One of the reasons I think it's so dated is Animator's tendencies to rely on their own experiences; Alex Hersh making a story about twins when he himself is a twin or JG Quintel literally just making himself the main character in every series he makes. Michael Rianda was born in 1984, and while that puts him on the earlier end of millennials, it isn't hard to believe the late 00s would be a defining era of his life. Many young film and arts students flocked to YouTube in it's early years to share their creations. Again the aforementioned Alex made off the wall, Nathan of Nathan for you's various skits, and so on. And again looking at the memes used, they are specifically the type that would have been created by these film students.

So let's look at Katie's art. It tends to be mixed media collages with a sketchy hand drawn style that makes you think of Napoleon Dynamite, and the movies themselves are reminiscent of campy action hero films. She puts in a lot of dazzle effects, typography tends to have these perspective lines, and the artwork flourishes tend to be stilted and looping almost as if they were gifs on Tumblr. There's a distinct one during a still frame and I swear to God, the jittery movements while flipping it back and forth feels like it has to be a Homestuck reference. Either way, all of this points towards 80s revival, something that was in full force in the 00/early 10s. You could pull a page out of my sophmore notebook and it would easily fit in. Katie distinctly draws like a millennial teenager. This isn't to say that there are zoomers drawing this way but I think No Burnham's 8th Grade shows a nice contrast in art style.

I remember seeing this scene and the old familiarity of seeing younger kid's art in fandom tags. Where late millennials where inspired by early millennials' 80s nostalgia and adventure time adjacent cartoons, early zoomers were in turn influenced by late millennials' new grounds/YouTube flash animations and 'Calarts style' series. We each appropriate and remix our predecessor's works and the general style morphs as we go on.

The mitchells environment is also distinctly 80s. They love in a worn down one story and the interior has a lot of kitsch with it's wooden panelling and furniture, courdory couch, and even a hand knit blanket. Naturally their car is also from the 80s. We can extrapolate in general that the Mitchells are not the richest family. If you pay attention to the furniture; it's pretty clear that most was likely made by Rick. On the other hand, Calarts tuition is 50k and in one of the most expensive cities to live in and that never seems to come up as an issue. However there's one thing I'd like to point out, major property tends to reflect when a kid is born. For instance, growing up my mum drove a 90s ford taurus where my younger cousin's family drove 2000s vehicles. Cars in particular can only make it so far before needing to be replaced and that tends to hit in a 15-20 year period of regular use. Despite being called a 1993 model, the Mitchell's car looks extremely 80s and a listicle even identifies if looking more like a 1988 GM celebrity. We can see how Rick and Linda struggled financially when Katie was born but it's still a surprise they have it in 2021, 33 years and definitely over 200k miles. I also want to point to Boyhood for a moment. A great aspect of this film is we see time as it happens, and we get an honest image of life in the mid 2000s. Prior to the housing bubble, we had a period of middle class affluence where consumerism was at an all time high. The image of suburban living would have been a beige carpeted room, Ikea furniture, and a saggy microsuede couch in front of a theatre system.

[who-the-fuck-is-sennalye]

They have the pikachu man in the gif but not manscaped? Lame. Also not a single blue checkmark?

I posted 153 times in 2022

That's 153 more posts than 2021! Again this blog is like seven months old it didn't exist in 2021

72 posts created (47%)

81 posts reblogged (53%)

Blogs I reblogged the most: I'm not fecken @ing people for this if you're on this list I'm sorry (not me being my top reblogged blog)

@/sennalye-the-boohbah

@/effervescent-fool

@/inky-the-artist

@/the-nymphvallien-universe

@/homunculus-argument

I tagged 147 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#text post - 52 posts

#rb - 51 posts

#will wood - 16 posts

#thread - 16 posts

#boohbah - 11 posts

#art - 8 posts

#boohbahs - 8 posts

#long post - 7 posts

#memes - 6 posts

#monster high - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#'i'm all stripped down naked for you but asking you to loosen up my buttons baby' like do you think i can sing that with a straight face?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

"Y'know, when I said 'may death do us part,' I really did it under the assumption that we would indeed die someday."

also

"Are you scared of your own mortality?"

"Not since I started begging God to give it back, no."

10 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#4

What I said: "yeah I listen to loads of music"

What I meant: "I've been listening to the same Will Wood songs on repeat for the past month "

15 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#3

"The crimson moon sits full for us tonight on its throne in the black sky."

24 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#2

I clipped it. y'all can play it on loop forever now.

33 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I've been really cryptic about this until now but now it's done I can finally show this off.

LOOK AT HER. ISN'T SHE SO PRETTY?!?!?! LOOK AT THOSE CLOTHES. I MADE THOSE! AREN'T THEY COOL!?

sorry sorry I'm chill I swear.

So earlier this month I went to a collector's market. Most of it's old stuff like jewellery and glassware and clothes, but some stalls sell toys. My friend has a Monster High doll collection, and I've made it my mission to get as many dolls into their hands as possible (so far 2/3 of the dolls come from me, so I'm doing pretty well). So when I went to this collector's market I kept my eye out for dolls.

See the full post

52 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cassiopeiaemiliagaunt]

Home is a Person | S.H.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Steve catches you in a lie and you’re forced to tell the truth about your home life. However, you did not expect the confessions that followed.

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: quite angsty, reader has absent parents + an absent brother, hurt/comfort, Steve is a good, gentle friend, angst with a happy ending, lot’s of cursing oops Also, this fic doesn’t have any gendered pronouns towards reader, so it can be read as a GN!reader :))

Author’s note: Did I just write a Christmas fic in the middle of summer? Perhaps. Also, this is my first time writing for Steve so feedback is much appreciated! 

Disclaimer: GIF isn’t mine :))

✶✧✶✧✶

“Y/n? What are you doing here? Didn’t you say you had plans with your parents?” Steve’s voice is loud enough to be heard through the headphones connected to your Walkman. You look up at where he’s standing in front of your table, not sure how you are going to bullshit yourself out of this one.

✶✧✶✧✶

It’s 10 p.m. on Christmas and you’re sitting all alone at a diner at the edge of town - the only diner that is open on the holiday. As you have been doing for the last few years. Molly, the nice older woman who always works this shift, has placed your favorite milkshake next to you on the table. “On the house,” she’d insist, as she did every year. In a weird fucked up way, it has become the closest thing to a Christmas tradition you could imagine.

A few nights ago, you and your friends – consisting of Steve, Eddie, Nancy and Robin – hung out, enjoying a movie night. After, Nancy had asked what everyone’s plans were for Christmas and after hearing everyone’s plans to do stuff with their family, you lied and said you’d spend the day with your parents.

Truth is, you haven’t seen them since August. They’re in England now, you think. Or was it New York? You can’t keep track anymore. Ever since you were the ripe age of 14, they started leaving you alone more and more. It started out as a few days at a time. It gradually changed to a few weeks and when you were 15 they fucked off to god knows where for a few months, consequently missing your birthday.

You would say you’re used to it. To the big house and the dark backyard. The silence that rung at night. The loneliness. But you could never get used to it. The sadness of being left alone, of not being cared about by your family, clung to you like a small dagger plunged into your heart. And you were unable to pull it out.

It had all started when your brother left. He was seven years older, but you loved him. And you were under the impression that he loved you, too. Maybe he did. But he didn’t love you enough to stick around. Once he was 18 he left and never turned back. He occasionally called. A quick call to let you know he was still alive. He never called more than five minutes, though.

Then, only a few years later, your parents started to pull away from you as well and the wound your brother made only enlarged. It was then you decided you didn’t need anyone. You carefully built walls around you and you were even cautious around your closest friends, not letting them know the situation with your parents.

So, you told them you would spend Christmas Day with your parents, having a nice meal together and other normal family stuff. You knew that if you told them the truth, you’d certainly get an invite to all of their Christmases, but you didn’t want some pity invite. You weren’t ready for them to know that sad side of you yet, weren’t ready to part from your independence.

And yet, you knew deep down you hadn’t fooled Steve. Every time you told a white lie about your parents - usually because people asked about them - you could see a suspicion forming in Steve’s eyes. He could see how you would get uncomfortable about the topic and as he lived quite close to you, he never saw a car in your driveway, with the exception of yours.

Maybe he noticed because his relationship with his parents is similar. His father was away often, but you knew Steve preferred it. You could tell he and his father didn’t get along from the way he talked about him and how he’d be more on edge during the periods of time his father was home. His mother was home more often and you had the impression they got along pretty okay. He had also said he’d be spending Christmas with her.

✶✧✶✧✶

“Oh, hey, Steve! What are you doing here?” you ask him awkwardly, completely ignoring his question about your parents, hoping he’d drop it.

“I could ask you the same thing, Y/n. Are you here with your parents?“ he asked again. It was obvious the table was only occupied by you. There was only one plate of - now eaten - food and only one milkshake.

“I-, um-,” you clear your throat, “well, um no actually.” You start biting your lips, a clear sign that you were getting uncomfortable with the topic.

Steve sighs. “Can I sit here?” he asks you, gesturing to the seat opposite you. You can only nod. Steve settles down and considers you. The silence that envelops the both of you gets more awkward with the second

“Why don’t you just tell me – us, your friends – what’s really going on?“ he asks finally.

You look down at your hands, not knowing what to answer. He’s onto you and you don’t know what to do next.

“Nothing’s going on, Steve, I don’t know what you’re talk-“ you start eventually.

“That’s a crapload of shit and you know it, Y/n,” he interrupts you harshly. This whole conversation was beginning to trigger your fight or flight response and it seems like your brain has decided to fight.

“Why do you care, huh? It’s my life and it’s none of your fucking business! I really don’t see why you decided to come in here and bother me about it!” you know it’s unfair of you, you know he has the best of intentions, but you feel like you’re being driven into a corner and it makes you lash out.

“I care because I care about you!” Steve matches your energy, clearly not wanting to let it go.

“Why, huh? Why do you?” you ask him, harshly.

“Because I like you, Y/n! I like you so fucking much! Fuck, I-, you’re so amazing and yet you close yourself off and you don’t let any of us help you and we really want to, okay? I want to!” Steve exclaims.   

It seems your brain has now decided it’s time to flight.

“I, I gotta go, I’m sorry,” you say, grabbing your stuff. You leave a couple of bills for Molly and practically run out of the diner, ignoring Steve as he yells your name.

You make it outside to your car before you start crying. You’re searching for your keys in your bag, but your eyes are blurry, your bare hands are cold and the sky is black. A sob rakes through your body before you can stop it.

You hear footsteps approaching you and you don’t have to turn around to know who it is. You’re gently being pulled into muscled arms, holding you close, keeping you warm.

“Hey, it’s alright, you can let it out,” he comforts you gently.

You wriggle out of his grip and face him with your tear stained face. “I need you to leave, okay? Because that’s what you’ll do eventually! It’s what everyone does! My fucking brother left! And now my parents! And I cannot go through that again! So I need you to leave now because if you don’t, you’ll make me fall in love with you even more and then you’ll go and I’ll be left behind again,” you yell in his face.

A look of understanding dawns on his face and you realize you just told him about your parents, about your deepest hurt and that you love him.

“Hey, Y/n, I’m not going to leave you, ‘kay? I love you and I have since the second Robin introduced me to you and I can’t imagine ever leaving you,” he tells you, calmly. Like it’s nothing. Like it’s obvious. Like it’s not exactly everything you ever yearned for.

You can’t do more than just nod, not really sure what to do with yourself. “Can I hug you now?” he asks, smiling gently. You nod again, tears still streaming down your face. He wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, whispering I love you in your ear.

You pull your head back from his chest to look him in the eyes and only see the same love you feel. The loneliness still clings to you, but it’s less strong.

His gaze drops to your lips and flicks back up to your eyes. He leans closer, eyes flickering between lips and eyes, quietly asking for permission. You nod and it’s all he needs before he attaches your lips. It feels like coming home and fireworks and cozy movie nights and so much more. It’s more than a kiss, it’s a promise. 

When you break away, Steve holds your cold face between his cold hands and smiles. “Let’s get you home, okay? It’s freezing cold outside.”

You feel more at home in his arms  than you ever did in that big, empty house. Maybe your home is Steve. Maybe you are home. But you let him guide you to his car, knowing you’ll always be home when you’re with him.

  ✶✧✶✧✶

A/N: That’s it! Let me know what you think about it ;))

[canislupus-exe]

Like Always | richie tozier

>> gif credit to @/sanriogaki on weheartit <<

fandom | It: Chapter One

character | Richie Tozier

reader | she/her (he ver.)(they ver.)

requested | Anonymous

warnings | none

word count | 1,189

keys | (Y/n) = Your name

>> prompts <<

56 | “Are you flirting with me?”

67 | “Stop being so cute.”

68 | “You’re making me blush!”

summary | hi!! can I req a Richie x reader (teenagers- around 15-16?)  where they both like each other but are oblivious to each other's feelings? I think it prompts 56, 67, and 68 will work with this!

>> back to prev <<

Keep Reading

You stretched out on the hammock that hung from the posts of the clubhouse. The other losers were strewn about the rest of the space, doing various things to keep themselves occupied. Richie had taken the liberty of staring you down since you were lying on what he considered the second coming of Jesus.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer, dickwad.” You said, stretching out to get more comfortable. Annoying him was just a bonus.

“Eddie, didn’t you say it was a 10-minute limit?” Richie asked.

“Uh yeah well considering you didn’t respect that rule when it was my turn I think (Y/n) has every right to overstay her welcome on that hammock.”

“Aw stop it, Eddie, you’re making me blush.” You teased. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Don’t make me take it back (Y/n).”

“Love you too Eds.” You replied as you went back to reading your comic book.

“Fuck this bullshit,” Richie exclaimed as he walked toward your reclined body. You lowered your book just in time to see Richie sidle up next to you. You groaned.

“Oh come on man, have some self-respect.” You grumbled as he made the fabric sway. He smirked and got comfortable the best he could.

“Ah, that’s refreshing. I mean honestly, my back was killing me. You know, now that I think about it, I could really use a massage. (Y/n), would you be so kind?” He asked, his voice patronizing. You rolled your eyes and set your book down.

“Why of course Mr. Tozier, you should’ve said something sooner. Come real close and I’ll get all that tension out for you.” 

“Now that’s what I’m talking about. Finally getting the royal treatment I deserve.” He replied jokingly, knowing there was no way you’d go for it. You adjusted yourself and to his surprise, actually began to massage his back. His face slowly turned red as he felt your hands climb up his skin, gently pressing your fingers and palms down interchangeably. 

“You're actually…?”

“Anything for you Richie.” You teased. Your heart thumped loudly in your ears. His skin was so soft you were scared your fingertips might just pass through him. You tried to play it cool like this was just your normal, run-of-the-mill, Richie pulling punches and (Y/n) being the only girl dumb enough to punch back, but you knew that was a lie. You knew your hands were trembling as you caressed the back of the boy you’d had a crush on for God knows how many years and you knew he’d start to feel it soon as well.

“Are you flirting with me?” He asked, his voice almost faltering in his throat. He was joking. He had to be joking.

“So what if I am?” You asked, leaning your chin on his shoulder and resting your hands on his hips. Richie practically burst at the seams from this, but what happened next threw him out of the trance faster than he’d fallen into it. You roughly shoved him off the hammock, smirking in triumph at the sound of surprise that jumped out of him. He fell to the floor, and the wind immediately knocked out of his chest. All he could do was lie there for a solid minute, processing what had happened.

“You skank!” He shouted, sitting up and turning toward you. You smirked and reclined again, picking up the comic book you’d set down.

“You love me.” You replied. He gave a slight chuckle before shaking his head and leaning against the wooden post that held up one side of the hammock. He did. He really did.

>><<

You yawned as you approached the arcade snack counter. You’d been going at Street Fighter for far too long and decided it was time for a pick-me-up. An ultra delicious total brain-freezing wild cherry slushie. Or just a cherry slush, as those less passionate than you would call it. 

You sauntered over to the counter and the employee who stood behind it and smiled. He placed a cup under the cherry spout, already knowing what you’d gone there for. To say you were a regular was an understatement. You placed $1.50 on the counter, and the employee finished in record time, sliding the drink to you and putting the cash in the register. You walked away, knowing that he knew that you didn’t need the change.

As you walked away, you ducked behind a hanging tarp. The part of the arcade that was always under construction for whatever reason. You liked laying low here to enjoy your slushes in peace and quiet. Plus there was a working Computer Space cabinet so that was the sickest part.

“How did I know you’d be here?” A familiar voice asked after the rusting of the tarp stopped. You snickered and looked over your shoulder, seeing your best friend.

“Richard Tozier. How often have I told you not to bother me in my super-secret lair?” You replied. It was now his turn to snicker.

“Lair? Seriously? This dingy old place has got to be one of the lamest ‘lairs’ I’ve ever seen.” He said. You exhaled and leaned against the cabinet.

“Yeah, I guess you're right. But it’s gotta be worth something with this original Computer Space cabinet which has an unbeatable high score held by… Well… me.” You replied, a smirk creeping its way onto your lips. There was nothing in the world that pissed Richie off more than the fact that he just couldn’t seem to top you in that damn game.

“Again with this. I swear it’s like the only thing you have over my head. Computer Space this Computer Space that meh meh meh meh meh.” He mocked you.

“Aw, someone’s getting all worked up. Come on, yell at me some more, I like it.” You taunted as you took a sip from your slushie.

“You like everything I do (Y/n).” He said as he leaned on the cabinet beside you.

“Why yes. Every night I go to sleep dreaming of my knight in shining armor Richard Tozier who will sweep me off my feet one day.” You jeered sarcastically.

“I bet you do. I bet you dream of kissing me like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Oh not just kissing Richie. No no no. In my dreams, we do so much more than just kissing.”

“God just stop being so cute!” He exclaimed, his tone much more genuine than he’d intended. You choked on your slushie slightly, your face growing warm from the blood that rushed to it.

“Wh-What?” You stared at him. His face dropped as he registered what he’d said. 

“Oh, I just- um… I-I’m kidding. Like always.”

“Then why are you so red?”

“It’s warm?”

“You’re so full of shit Tozier.” You replied before grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him into a kiss. He made a noise of surprise but within seconds he was practically melting into your touch. He wrapped his arms around your waist and deepened the kiss as much as he could. You still tasted like the cherry slushie, and he couldn’t get enough.