#god is there god loves you and hes in communication with you!

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

i feel like a lot of Jason and Bruce's relationship can only be explained if you understand the depth of Jason's isolation while living with Bruce and the depths of codependency the dynamic fostered.

Unlike Jason's predecessor and his successors, Jason never had a superhero team. He wasn't deeply connected to the superhero community. He didn't really even have friends. His world was school, the manor, and Batman and Robin. Robin, being a piece of his identity and his first sense of belonging. Batman and Robin as a dynamic requires synchronicity and a lack of questioning. It's about doing what Batman says. Jason, who lived in constant fear of being abandoned again, or kicked out, did his damnedest to not step a toe out of line. Jason was looking for safety and a parent who loved him, and Bruce stepped into that role in a way Jason had never experienced before. (mind you, Bruce himself was dealing with the conflicts regarding his relationship with Dick and no longer have Dick's presence.)

When Bruce and Jason started to have tensions themselves over 'excessive force' and the Garzona's situation, that read to Jason like rejection. And rejection, in a codependent relationship is cause for severe alienation and isolation. Jason had zero people to turn to; and the single person he loved most in the world didn't trust him anymore. Bruce had ripped the little bit of emotional safety that Jason felt away. So Jason went to find a mother who might want him.

point is: Jason Todd can never leave Bruce Wayne. Not in the way his other siblings can. Bruce Wayne is the center of his universe, and the only person Jason ever fully trusted. Jason wrapped his identity into being loved by Bruce, into being the son of Bruce. Into being Batman's Robin. Which is why being replaced felt like confirmation of all of his worst fears. It's why nobody else seems to understand the depths of this betrayal the way Jason does. Jason thinks his relationship with Bruce is normal. He thinks that Tim has replaced Jason in this codependent bond. That Tim has somehow played the part better than Jason did.

It's why Red Hood can't ever move on without Bruce proving to him that he is worth killing the Joker for. It's why Jason keeps crawling back to the batfamily despite the constant cycle of abuse and conflict. Bruce is gravity, Bruce is the sun, and Jason's world revolves around him and what Bruce says about him. If Bruce says Jason isn't worth it, then he's not. If Bruce says Jason is, then he is. They're soOOoO "Love me like a god and I'll betray you like a man" "I bet on losing dogs" "i'm going to die in the universe you loved me in (before you decided you didn't)" "I was fifteen when you left and I have been fifteen ever since" "losing your faith in your parents feels like losing faith in your religion"

@prlssprfctn <- bless you for this panel <3

[melodyreads]

Our Little Secret

You and Hamzah are in a secret relationship. While you guys kept each other a secret to protect one another, was it really what you both wanted?

Contains: fem reader, angst, confused reader, lack of communication, arguing, happy ending <3

a/n: I appreciate all the love I've received for my most recent works. Hope you guys enjoy this one, it's definitely my best yet.

---

From an outside perspective, there was nothing out of the ordinary about this situation. Just two couples out on a double date. Me, Mandy, Martin, and Hamzah grabbing dinner at our usual pizza spot. Nothing suspicious. Nothing complicated. Just friends catching up.

Mandy waved kindly as she saw me approach their group. Martin stood next to her seemingly making a joke to Hamzah as he stood there with his hands in his pockets wearing a neutral expression on his face. That was, until he saw me arrive.

A familiar feeling of excitement filled my stomach at the look on Hamzah’s face. I wanted to run up to him and throw my arms around him while greeting him with a kiss. He would smile down at me as his left hand placed itself in my back jean pocket.

Except, of course, Martin and Mandy were the only couple actually together. 

I guess you could say me and Hamzah were together too. We basically lived at each other's apartments, always leaving clothes in each other's space. I would wake up to Hamzah’s messy curls aghast on the pillow next to mine. I would plant his face with kisses as he grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of him.  

We were together, but in a, “we don’t want to put a label on it” kind of way. No commitments, no pressure—just what we wanted.

I wasn’t so sure about that anymore.

For me, it was about not wanting anything serious right now. I wanted to protect my relationship with Hamzah, what we had was different than anything I had experienced with boyfriends in the past.

For Hamzah, it had more to do with his online image— he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable with their fans' inevitable perceptions of you if you two were to date. I joked that he was just playing up the “I’m available” act for his followers. He would always roll his eyes but I’m sure this was part of it.

If people found out we were together, it’d ruin the whole thing. Which is why I had to be extra careful. Even around our best friends.

So imagine my horror when, halfway through dinner, Martin suddenly narrows his eyes at me.

“Hey… isn’t that Hamzah’s sweater?”

The table goes silent and my stomach drops.

I freeze with my pizza halfway to my mouth, my brain scrambling for a response. The oversized grey hoodie I’m wearing is definitely Hamzah’s— the words “nap queen” in black letters I envisioned on my chest made me want to laugh and bury my head in my hands at the same time. I didn’t even think about it when I threw it on before leaving.

It even smelled like him.

I set my pizza down trying to brush it off, “Am I not allowed to wear your guys merch anymore? Y’all should be grateful.” I say acting offended.

Mandy’s eyes flick between me and Hamzah, who—thank god—keeps his expression cool, shoveling food into his mouth as he nodded his head at my response..

Martin, however, is still staring. “I swear that one is yours though, isn’t it Hamzah? It has the exact same material as the one you wear. ”

I let out a short laugh, trying to play it off. “I’m not sure why because this one is mine.” My voice started to shake

Pull it together.

“It looks exactly like Hamzah’s,” Martin insists. He turns to Mandy. “Doesn’t it?”

Mandy shrugs, sipping her drink. “A lot of those hoodies look the same.”

Hamzah finally speaks, his voice casual but just a little too fast. “Yeah, man, it’s just a hoodie. All those hoodies look the same, part of the reason we sold so many.”

Martin still looks unconvinced, but he lets it go, turning his attention back to his food. My entire body is tense, and across the table, I can feel Hamzah suppressing a smirk.

Under the table, his finger interlocks with mine, a slow, deliberate touch that sends a jolt up my spine. I flick my eyes toward him, and there’s something smug in his gaze—something knowing.

I roll my eyes at him, trying to ignore the way my face feels hot.

That was too close.

But the truth is, I kind of love the risk. I love the way we sneak glances at each other when no one’s looking, the way my body reacts when he’s just close enough to touch but doesn’t. I love the late nights, the whispered conversations, the fact that we’re both holding onto something we’re pretending we don’t want to name.

God I wanted him bad.

---

The party was loud—too loud. Music pulsed through the walls, and the mix of voices, laughter, and the occasional clatter of a drink being set down filled the air. Mandy and Martin were off in their own little world, and I had lost track of most people in the crowd.

Hamzah settled next to me "How're you doing?" he asked, leaning down to meet my ears while looking out into the sea of people.

I sighed in response, "Alright, I guess..." I snapped my head to meet Hamzah's dark eyes, "...Can we go home soon?" I asked sticking out my bottom lip. He chuckled before leaning down once more.

"Come with me," he murmured, his voice just low enough for only me to hear.

I barely had time to react before his fingers brushed against my wrist—just a ghost of a touch, but enough to send a jolt through me. Before I knew it, I was being pulled down the hall, away from the noise, away from prying eyes.

He didn’t stop until we were inside an empty room, the door clicking shut behind us. The sudden quiet made my pulse hammer in my ears.

"Wait, what if someone sees?" I whispered, even though I was far too gone to start moving away from him.

Hamzah exhaled, leaning back against the door with a sly look covering his face. His eyes were dark, and the dim lighting cast sharp shadows on his face. "I don't care," he said.

That was a lie. He did care. We both did. That was the whole reason we were keeping this secret.

And yet… here we were.

The tension thickened in the air between us, something unspoken crackling like a wire about to snap. Hamzah's jaw tightened, his fingers twitching at his sides before he finally gave in, stepping closer.

I barely had time to breathe before his hands cupped my face, his touch gentle despite the desperation in his eyes. This was the last look I could register before his lips were on mine.

A slow, deep kiss started, stealing the air from my lungs, and making my heart stutter.

I wanted this. God, I wanted this.

But before I could get too carried away, I thought of where we could have been. Kissing in the middle of a crowd, unwavering concerns about what others around us thought. His hand in mine not hidden beneath a table, but revealed proudly.

The weight of it—the secret, the hiding, the way we only allowed ourselves these moments in the dark—it was all too much.

A sharp pang in my chest pulled me back to reality. Before I could stop myself, I tore away, my breath ragged.

“Hamzah, I—” My voice broke, my hands shaking as I stepped back. “I can’t keep doing this.”

His brows furrowed, his hands hovering in the empty space between us like he wanted to pull me back but knew he shouldn’t. “What do you mean... what's wrong?”

I forced a swallow, blinking hard. “Being with you in secret... it just hurts too much.” My voice was barely above a whisper, but the way Hamzah flinched made it clear he heard every word.

His lips parted, like he was about to say something, but I couldn’t stand there and let him try to fix it with more whispered reassurances, more stolen touches that would only leave me aching for something real.

Before he could even get a word out, I was already out the door.

I pushed past the crowd, the music and chatter barely registering. My chest was tight, my pulse racing. I needed air.

I needed to get out of here.

The cold night air hit me as I stepped outside, but it didn't stop me. As I started to come to terms with what just happened, tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill. I sucked in a sharp breath, hugging my arms around myself, trying to shake the feeling of Hamzah’s hands still lingering on my skin.

Then, I heard determined footsteps tracking behind me.

“Wait.”

Hamzah’s voice.

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to turn around. But then his hand caught mine, stopping me in my tracks.

I exhaled shakily as he moved in front of me, his brows furrowed, his expression torn between frustration and desperation. Whatever it was caused your whole body to shudder.

“I don’t want to hide anymore,” he said, his voice rough, his grip tightening just slightly, “Not if it means losing you.”

I swallowed hard, my heart hammering. “What about your whole ‘single guy’ thing? What about—”

“Screw all that,” he cut me off, shaking his head. “None of it matters if it means I can’t be with you. I don’t care who knows.”

The words hit me like a punch to the chest, knocking the air out of me.

I searched his face, looking for hesitation, for doubt. But there was none. Just him—bare, vulnerable, real.

A shaky laugh left my lips, part disbelief, part relief. “Are you sure about this?”

Hamzah let out a soft chuckle, his hand lifting to brush a strand of hair from my face before resting gently against my cheek. “Yeah, I mean it.” His thumb traced my skin, slow and reverent. “I want you. For real.”

I didn’t need any more convincing.

This time, when I reached out and kissed him, I wasn’t thinking about the consequences. About who was watching or who would care. What came next and what the future held.

From now on, we came first.

---

a/n: Hope you'll enjoyed this!!!!! It's so hard to end stories, but I think I'm getting better at it lol. Lmk if you guys want a part two????????

[tuyo-truly]

Remember that post about men love differently or smth like that??? the one is which the person's dad became a shoemaker because their grandmother was buried without shoes.

ya, let's talk about mxtx men

Jiang Cheng keeping wei wuxian's flute all this time. Lemme rephrase that, Jiang Cheng keeping wwx's flute POLISHED all this time. Jiang Cheng not believing wwx died and thus torturing any demonic cultivator he saw to make them confess that they are wwx? Like he just never processed his grief because in his head his silly powerful brother never died

Lan Wangji raising a whole ass child???? in remembrance of wwx??? I think no one ever actually admits in the novel how loved wwx was after all yk. like dude died alone, but the grief literally painted the blue gusu white.

Binghe keeping his Shizun's dead body???? i'm sorry?? Achilles and Patroculus much. next thing you know they are mingling their ashes.

And talk about ashes, *cracks fingers* our very own ghost king Hua Cheng! Bro died. Not once. Not twice. THRICE. without REGRET. He can do it again but is forbidden, but can do it again without HESISTATION. it's just tuesday for him at this point. He waited 800 years. Learned about everything to every exist incase he ever became the guy who helps the main character during quests to his God. He literally killed GODS???

And then last but not the least Your Highness Xie Lian. Anyone ever thought that his cultivator clothes are the only thing that he has that is left of xianle? The hat he carries aka the only love/humanity/hope he could find when was just about to give up. emphasis on FIND. because he consciously made that decision to wait. And don't get me started on Wu ming. Please don't, i'll cry. hualian is literally the embodiment of what healthy love looks like. (except the dying and torture ykiyk) the communication, the support, the sitting between hua cheng's thigh's to teach him calligraphy, the spiritual energy exchanges. i love them so much.

Oh, and there's also Shi wudu ruining he xuan's life so that his brother could ascend with him.

[ssparksflyy]

jason grace dating headcanons ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

pairing jason grace x daughter of hera!reader warnings none i think this ones pretty much all fluff unless your uncomfortable with marriage and children lol an i have a whole yap on how i think children of hera are created here if u wanna check it out cause im quite proud of it ꈍ◡ꈍ , requested !!

alexa play so high school by taylor swift pretty pls ‹𝟹

my bad just had to set the mood before i talked about THE CUTEST COUPLE EVERRRRRR

jason dating a daughter of hera would just be so like cliche classic romance that everybody longs for

a timeless love if you will

youd think that your parents arguments and bickers would have some sort of effect on your relationship but you just dont care LMFAO

well i mean like your relationship with your mother is probably pretty good and stable (you know, for a relationship with a greek god) and i truly do think that hera would be caring torwards her demigod children cause those are her kids and they dont have a stinky man for a father

but your parents really dont have much of an effect on your lives because your relationship is something you developed and worked on together, and it has nothing to do with them

you first met jason when he crash landed on the shore of chb with piper and leo, but didnt really speak to him at first

but he DEFINITELY wished you did

cause the second the crowd swarmed him and he locked eyes with you, oh boy

SMITTEN

actually standing there with his mouth open

he wouldve spoken to you sooner if he didnt feel like his insides were being flipped at the mere thought of you

but you did end up speaking literally the day before he left for his quest

you had moved over to his table during dinner to wish him luck and find out a bit more about this quest

but you ended up taking for the entire night, hitting it off immediately and ending the night with him walking you to your cabin door with the excuse of "my legs are dragging me in the wrong direction!"

and when he returned from his quest, you were the first person he talked to about it

he literally went into full detail just so he'd have an excuse to talk to you longer (but left out the part where leo threatened to dump him into the ocean if he didn't shut up about you)

i feel like during your whole 'friends but you it doesn't feel like your actual friends and you can kinda tell you both want something more' era, jason is definitely making all the efforts to extend the conversation, spend more time with you, and to get to know you better while youre the one dropping more subtle hints that you want something more (which have him staring at his wall at 3 am questioning EVERYTHING)

i hate to drag things on longer than the should but guys... you dont get together until AFTER the quest of the 7 (well 8 cause surprise shawtay! you spent months on a boat fighting the tension between you and jason ‹𝟹) and even then it takes a few months full of you dropping heavy hints, the contemplation to make the first move, and countless amounts of teasing from your friends for him to FINALLY ask you if you'd let him be your boyfriend

thankfully from there, things just began to flow easily :)

you went on dates pretty often, but at some point you stopped considering them to be dates because you spend so much time together and its a bit difficult to come up with something original in a summer camp

but once you eventually move out of chb (jason moved camps to be with you) and into your apartments (not shared cause we need some space), you both made sure you were both coming up with unique ideas and planned dates frequently :)

jason ends up working a job in finance (trust fund, 6'5, blue eyes), while you did... well wtv u want queen !!

honestly life further on out is so peaceful and simple between you two, any issues you face you always work them out together

communication is so big between you two likeeee

not even only if you get into arguments and stuff, but just like in general

you talk about everything, know everything about each other, the yap sesh never ends between you guys ‹𝟹

you probably dont move in together until after youre married, which honestly bro ... biggest occasion ever

i cant lie and be like 'oh you just did something peaceful in a garden with friends ‹𝟹' nah yall went ALL OUT

youve been dreaming about your wedding since you were a kid (it comes with the parentage bro) and jason views giving you a big wedding as a way to really express your love for each other (and he gets to spoil u hehe)

he goes all out to propose too btw, like asks your closest friends from camp what your ideal proposal is and goes through with it

but yea after marriage? your life becomes practically perfect with the beginning of your family and live together forever nd ever ‹𝟹

not to say stuff gets boring like ur kids? some of the most random childrento ever walk the earth like theres always SOMETHING happening with them

and you and jason dont allow yourselves to go boring either, you stay communicating and working out different ways to showcase your affection for each other

you guys stay really close with your friends and always have them over for dinner and such ‹𝟹 (GUYS THE SEVEN ARE FOUND FAMILY IDGAFFFFF)

but yeah you continue to live in your happily ever after little fairy tale for ever n ever n ever ‹𝟹

[lovingherwasgay]

every time i think "how did viktor come to terms with jayce breaking his promise to destroy the hexcore? how did he forgive him for using it to revive him?" i remember this quote and it all just makes sense:

and here's why: jayce killing viktor in the commune didn't need to happen. jayce needing to crawl his way out of the dilapidated undercity didn't need to happen. viktor becoming a god and needing jayce to break him free of his own convictions didn't need to happen. viktor could've easily nipped the problem in the bud by simply not giving young jayce that rune.

but that would mean that he never would've become interested in magic, and his apartment would've never blown up... and he never would've met viktor. and they never would've discovered hextech together, spent years of their life working side by side.

so mage viktor decides instead to look through infinite realities and possibilities, to try again and again to find a version of them where he can have the cake and eat it too: where he got to meet jayce and still not end up destroying humanity. in all timelines, in all possibilities, there isn't a single one where he doesn't give jayce that rune, where he doesn't carve the path that would lead jayce right back to him.

... so of course he forgives jayce. he understands what it's like to love someone so much that principles don't matter anymore, that you would let the world burn to keep them by your side.

[synchodai]

"Mystra groomed Gale" takes rustle my jimmies like no other. I get how some people who don't know much about her beyond BG3 may have this interpretation, but if you're like me, a woman who's been playing since the days of AD&D, you'd understand why accusing Mystra of being the bad person in this scenario may hit a nerve.

TL;DR: Did Mystra take advantage of Gale's devotion to her as his goddess? Definitely, she's a Faerûnian deity — they subsist on worship and adulation. Does that make her his abuser? Eh... man, maybe it's high time that a lot of us learn different terminology for unhealthy relationship dynamics other than abuser-victim. I've seen a couple of posts that are really gung-ho about forcing every companion character to be some sort of abuse victim, because that's what they've decided the game is about. I mean, they're free to interpret the game that way, but damn, we're really out here flattening god, the very concept of magic itself, into the role of an abusive ex, huh? A fantastical, nuanced relationship between mortal and immortal set against the backdrop of a rich palimpsest multiverse digested like a YouTube drama video.

Let me try to explain my perspective by going through the history of Mystra, how she's utilized in Forgotten Realms lore, and treated within D&D games in general.

MYSTRA THE MAN-EATER

Since her creation, she has always been depicted as the sexy goddess whose main purpose was to be a wizard player's muse as well as their patron. Back then, D&D (and TTRPGs in general) was a heavily male-dominated hobby, so Mystra (and Mystryl, her avatars, and all her other incarnations) was catered and shaped by that demographic.

Because it's the player characters and Wizards of the Coast who have narrative agency and many of them want to fuck a goddess, they make stories where Mystra comes on to them because their character is just so good at magic. They designed Mystra to be a mysterious, beautiful love interest because they wanted to use her as the crown jewel of their power fantasy of being a super cool and powerful magic man. You can pretty much see this in the Elminster books and the Avatar series with Midnight (one of Mystra's avatars). Gale himself seems to be an exploration of this typical kind of wizard character.

As far as power fantasies go, making the goddess of magic have an intimate relationship with a mortal character is fine. It's the ultimate validation for a burger-flipper when the god and all source of burger-flipping is head over heels in love with them. It also doesn't have to have a sexual component to have "magic" and the magic system itself enamored with a character — depending on the game and DM, Mystra's favor can be entirely symbolic and metaphorical. A fine power fantasy in the power fantasy generation game.

So because everyone literally wants a piece of her, you end up with Mystra having more Chosen running around than any other god. Understandable given what she has to do to maintain her massive portfolio. It fits her as the personification of magic — someone who entices ambitious young spellcasters but burns them out through obsession and overreaching. Consume any Forgotten Realms-related media, and you've probably come across at least one campaign, novelization, or character backstory that use Mystra for the role of sexy sorceress goddess that's the alluring (yet often demanding) patron of some magic man. Whomst amongst our wizards haven't been visited by Mystra in the night ordering him to do plot point, he rolls to seduce her, and she has no choice but to admit that she's actually attracted to him because the dice said so? It was a community inside joke passed around tables: Mystra the Man-eater.

But then some BG3 fans started taking the joke seriously...

MYSTRA THE GROOMER AND WHORE

This piece of dialogue has done so much irrevocable damage.

Some (Galemancers specifically) have interpreted this to mean that Mystra is known to go after young men. She does not. She has more documented Chosen than other gods due to her massive portfolio and power level, but there are just as many female Chosen as there are male Chosen. Minsc, like most of us in this fandom, is speculating and doing so in a way that uplifts Gale at the cost of taking a bit of a jab at Mystra.

"Mystra's a whore. She boned Kelemvor and Elminster and so many of her Chosen, taking advantage of them as a goddess," they say as if she didn't have her romantic relationships all as different people and in different bodies. Her avatar Dasumia was the one who had an intimate relationship with Elminster, and it was the human Midnight (who later ascended to become Mystra) who was Kelemvor's lover (who himself was a mortal adventurer at the time).

This is why Mystra is, how other people put it, "a whore." Because WotC canonized a handful of those stories where different sexy female mage love interests whom otherwise have nothing in common are slapped with the Mystra label for one reason or another. Sometimes they're mere avatars or magical projections, sometimes they're actual people possessed by Mystra, and sometimes they're destined to be the new Mystra but don't know it yet. But those sort of nuances are lost to people who learn their lore secondhand from deliberately provocative tweets and reddit posts, flattening extremely fantastical relationships to clumsily fit a more relatable framing that'll net them more online engagement.

I don't want to argue what is and isn't grooming. But I have encountered arguments taking Gale's mentions that he was "a young man" to mean Mystra groomed him as a child. But I doubt he would have said "young man" if he meant child...

Mystra took off the gossamer veils from her body to fully reveal herself to him — or whatever romanticized way Gale tells you that they were intimate. The man speaks in half-abstraction and metaphors because it's revealed later on in the romance that all their love-making happened outside the Material Plane. They were very intimate, but never physically had sex (or had any physical contact at all because gods are only allowed to interact with mortals through their avatars or projections). If Mystra "groomed" Gale, so did every other god who revealed themselves and made themselves vulnerable to their followers. Shar grooms her justiciars when she brings them into her dark embrace. Umberlee grooms her clerics when she swallows them up and gives them her wet kiss.

MYSTRA IS A FAIR GOD ACTUALLY

Look, gods in D&D-verses are, more often than not, dicks. They have to be or else there would be no need for adventurers to fix wrong-doings if the gods weren't so detached to the suffering of mortals and regularly making earth-shattering calamities.

Mystra, as a patron, is actually one of the more fair and hands-on dieties. She's one of the few gods who rewards benevolent ambition and punishes destructive hubris, knowing the line between the two. In the Elminster series, she (or one of her avatars) assists Elminster in taking down one of her rebel Chosen who has abused her blessing to become a tyrant. Azuth, one of her Chosen, has achieved godhood through her. In fact, she is divinely obliged — forced against her will, some might say — to help mortals she would personally rather smite. There have been so many instances where Mystra has to be the bigger person. As far as gods abusing their followers go, Mystra is low on that list.

There are barely any stories of magic abusing spellcasters, but there are cautionary tales aplenty of spellcasters abusing magic.

ON GALE SPECIFICALLY: HOW IS MYSTRA THE BAD GUY HERE?

Gale is the first to tell you that he "violated her boundaries." Mystra told him not to mess with the Tome of Netheril and he did it anyway, so he's fully aware that the orb in his chest and his fall from grace is his own fault. Mystra didn't cast him aside just because she felt like he was getting too big for his britches. His actions actively endangered her and the Weave.

(Mystra is wrong about certain details on the Karsite Weave if we're going by Forgotten Realms lore, but she's not wrong about its existence being a danger. BG3 takes a lot of liberties with the world Faerûn, so I can't definitively say whether Mystra being wrong was her lying, Larian rewriting canon, or this incarnation of Mystra not knowing the true nature of the Fall of Netheril. I could go on about what effects the Karsite Weave actually would have on magic, but this post is already long enough. )

Gale only starts to resent Mystra when she asks him to detonate himself. Elminster makes it sound like an order, but from the way she doesn't punish him in the epilogue if he chooses to keep the orb, it feels more like a suggestion. If Mystra wanted Gale well and truly dead, she has so many options.

Throughout Faerûn's history, Mystra herself has constantly been betrayed and taken advantage of — her power coveted by ambitious men who claim to worship and love her. Honestly, as far as goddesses with traumatic histories of being killed by ambitious men go, she's pretty chill about Gale. The fact that she allows him to become the god of ambition in the end if you choose that path? Well... let's just say she's not the one who looks like the evil ex who was only with their partner to take advantage of them in this scenario.

CONCLUSION

Mystra isn't the only goddess to have romantic relationships with her followers. I've already yapped on about how Forgotten Realms writers and D&D players love to make goddesses fuck their heroes, and all that pearl-clutching over "power imbalance" and "consent" is moot when the mortal party is actively rolling to seduce the divine entity.

But notice how the male gods rarely have intimate relations with their mortal charges? It's almost as if Mystra was objectified for years by horny nerds to be the sexy sorceress who validates the more important male hero. Fast forward years later, she's now being slut-shamed for all the lore of her sleeping with the more important male hero by a new crop of fans who would love to think they're more progressive than the horny nerds of the 80s, but fall into the same trap. Mystra has so much potential for complexity, but they choose to flatten her because they ultimately don't care about making stories involving complex female characters.

Instead, one of the most powerful beings in Faerûn has no bigger role in this universe than to be your girlfriend or your current boyfriend's evil ex. Wow, the realms of your creativity and respect for women truly know no bounds.

[cherryblossompink303]

Patience: ~Covering the famous host club!~

➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: Tamaki finds himself with his heart set on helping save the newspaper club. ➼ what to expect:  "For the first time in your life it was you and him, not just you." ➼ warnings: none ➼ Part Thirteen | Part Fifteen

You had to admit that the times that the host club was held outside that you actually do find a sense of calm during club hours, there was notably less chaos on days like these.

"Wow, I've never notice that the courtyard had such a lovely stream"

"It's called a yarimizu channel, it is said that during the Heian era, people would better experiance the seasons by watching the petals or autumn leaves that drifted along the water. I had it specially made for all of you, hoping it would express my desire to spend all four seasons with you. so then what do you say ladies? This fall, there's an autumn leaves tea party with alimited number of invitations"

"Oh! Sign me up!"

You roll your eyes through a laugh from nearby, it always catches you offguard when Kyoya lays it on thick for the sake of a sail but you had to admit that the times that he does it is certainly entertaining.

The next thing you know Tamaki comes tumbling through the garden, tackling Haruhi to get her out of the way of a ball flying in her direction, resulting in an argument with the twins. "You think so? Well check this out! Starlight kick!"

The ball disappears it gets launched so far "Take care of yourself! Bye!" however when the ball comes back down it barrels through a window"

"Oh god" you sigh, so much for peace.

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Covering the famous host club!

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"Really. We're terribly sorry about that" you had all found yourselves in the office of the newspaper club after it turned out the ball had hit the president in the head. "Don't worry, it's no big deal. Could've happened to anyone, right? Just a ball flying through a window and hitting me upside the head"

"Please accept our apology"

"Well this works out perfectly, I was just thinking about approaching the Host Club about a cover story I don't suppose you'd be interested?"

"I didn't know we had a newspaper club"

"It's more gossip rag than newspaper"

"Like a trashy tabloid, it's filled with stories about scandalous love affairs, family power struggles and junk like that"

"It's just a lame hossip rag that specialises in stirring up scandal. And everyone knows its all lies, so nobody reads it anymore"

It is then that you realise where you recognise the president from "It's Komatsuzawa isn't it?" The question leaves your lips before you really get the chance to stop yourself, drawing attention to where you had been stood in the corner of the room.

"yes, sorry have we met"

"A long time ago in passing, my father is l/n"

It was slowly starting to become a bit awkward when you realise that Komatsuzawa was the son of your fathers old business partner...one that he betrayed to build up a media empire.

He grits his teeth "I see, I didn't realise that you went here, last we met was out of the country"

You shrug "I transferred, surely with all your fathers experience he would have taught you journalistic integrity?"

"You know I guess we have kind of lost sight of the truth because we've been so worried about drawing in more readers. It's a shame we're just now realising our error, now that the paper's at risk. We've finally realised what we should have been reporting to the students of ouran" He stands up.

"Help us please, for the last paper of the semester, we'd like to do an up-close special edition, revealing the charms of ouran's host clubb members. I'm begging you, without your help, our club will close"

"You can count on us" Tamaki assures.

You and Kyoya exchange eyecontact, silently communicating through shaking your heads.

"On behalf of the host club i accept-" "we have to decline" Kyoya shoves Tamaki out the way.

"But Kyoya he got hurt because of me, what's the big deal?"

"Sorry, we have a policy prohibiting us from sharing any personal information with anyone other than our guests. But we'd be more than happy to pay any medical expenses related to your injury"

"And another thing, what makes you think we'd want to help you spread rumors and gossip? We've got a reputation to uphold and you'd just ruin it"

"Besides you guys cause a lot of trouble for other people, and who would want to get mixed up with that"

"I understand, well, I guess you really can't erase the sins of the past, can you?" The president makes direct eye contact with you. "People won't even give you the opportunity to try and redeem yourself Ow! my head is killing me"

"President!"

"I'm ok, don't worry you two, oh no i'm getting dizzy again" you were starting to think that his acting skills are as bad as his journalism. "I guess all we can do at this point is disband with grace"

"No you don't have to" Tamaki doubles down "You can always make a fresh start. we'll help, we will rally the power of the host club, and we can re-establish the Newspaper club together!"

"Well count us out"

"You're way too trusting boss we can't just go along with everything you do forever" "yeah we've had enough"

Kyoya places a hand on your shoulder, guiding you towards the door "We're leaving too Tamaki, we're holding an evaluation meeting, mostly about you"

"Hold it! How can you be so heartless? These men are about to lose their club. Don't you feel sorry for them? Their family's breaking up! As your president I demand you help them and that is a direct order"

"We're not going to do it"

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Tamaki has been sat sulking in the corner for who knows how long, to the point of concern as the rest of you look on "well it's obvious he's upset with us"

"Yeah, he hasn't even changed clothes"

"I hate it when he ignores us when we're right in front of him. He's such a child"

"Nah, Tama-chan's just a lonely guy, you know?"

"I hate to give in, but would it really be that bad to help them out with their newspaper?" Haruhi asks, grabbing everyones attention. "What?"

"Hey, since when are you taking his side?"

"Since never, just listen okay? I know any moment now, he's gonna look over here with those puppy-dog eyes he always uses when he wants something, and none of us will be able to say no, and so he'll win"

"Let me guess, you're speaking from experience, aren't you?"

"Besides maybe I'm wrong but isn't this the kinda thing you guys usually go for?"

"Well no, this seems like more trouble than it's worth" The twins shrug. "What about you Honey-senpai?"

"Count me out, I have this cake to eat and Takashi sticks with me, right?" Honey wolfed down a strawberry cake.

"Y/n?"

"After Renge's film we leave any and all PR to internal affairs, but also I'd like to point out that this club does have secrets that the newspaper club would go for. If they are sniffing around us all it takes one slip up and it's 'favoured host club member secretly a girl?' or 'Host club member secretly engaged' we would be giving them exactly what they want"

You all look over to tamaki, who pulls out said puppy dog eyes mentioned earlier "those are the eyes"

"Puppy dog eyes"

Kyoya sighs "There will be some conditions"

"The outline for their article will be submitted by us. Interviews are strictly prohibited, it is vital that our client's identities be kept confidential, and no one is to reference Haruhi's identity and y/n's ties to the club beyond professional."

"Do we agree?"

"Well, if you it's cool, Kyoya-senpai" "Then we do too"

"I'll do it since Kyo-chan says it's okay"

"Kyoya, a word please?"

The two of you step away from the main group out into the hallway "I don't have a good feeling about this" you are straight up with him once the door closes behind you two. "Relax y/n i've got this handled"

"But-" "Seriously, relax, trust me, it will be handled"

Suddenly the words from that bizarre dream you had recently echoed in your head

"perhaps the reason you think you can't depend on others is that you reject it"

You know that it is strange to take advice of a strange dream version of Tamaki of all people but maybe he is right.

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"Of course! If you'll allow us to cover you, we promise to observe your conditions"

"Well then, you may start tomorrow"

"Excellent"

"So how is that bump on your forehead feeling?"

"Oh, that? It's no big deal, I hardly feel it anymore. I owe a lot to this bump because without it, we'd never have come together for this article"

"That's true, but we're still very sorry it happened" Kyoya slides a first aid kit over the presidents desk "I brought you a little something as an apology of sorts. This is a first aid kit, made by my family's company"

"That you I appreciate it"

"No problem, please excuse me" Kyoya turns to leave "Oh, it just dawned on me, your family runs the Ootori group right? They manufacture medical equipment don't they?"

Kyoya avoids the urge to roll his eyes "We mostly deal with hospital management"

"I am so glad that we'll be working together, my father is a president as well, of the Komatsuzawa publishing firm"

"Yes, I am well aware of that, so being president of the newspaper club is your way of preparing to take over your family's company?"

"Well yes to an extent but I have this younger brother. He's a bright young man, and my father's very proud of him you seeso now my father has decided to turn future management of the company over tgo my younger brother. And thereby passing over me, the eldest son, first born. However, if I'm able to finish my third year at Ouran Academy as the president of a succesdul newspaper club I think he may reconsider my candidacy as his successor. Do you understand? I cannot allow this club to fall apart no matter what"

"Please excuse me" Kyoya leaves, closing the door behind him.

"Mr president are we to assume you were trying to win over Kyoya Ootori?"

"But of course, you see my plans have expanded now, I can knock out two birds with one stone, not only now do I have the opportunity to bring down Tamaki Suoh but if I create enough scandal surrounding y/n then it will reflect badly on the l/n group and will certainly gain favour from my father"

"But how would befriending Kyoya Ootori help with that?"

"Well isn't obvious? the two of them are always together not to mention their fathers are very good friends, I can use him to get to her" he stands up, looking out the window. "As for Tamaki Suoh he clearly flaunts his power and standing to sucker all those poor girls into that host club. I will dig until I find scandal in all of them"

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It was actually entertaining watching the host club play red light green light out in the gardens, purely for how much Tamaki gets into it as opposed to the rest of the club, you aren't partaking in it, trying to put some distance between you and them, also to keep an wyw on the newspaper club stood nearby.

"President, what on earth are we witnessing?"

"Could it be some kind of new religion?"

"Why are you asking me? How should I know?"

"You know, I can't blame you for being shocked, I was nunfamiliar with it myself, but it's a commoner's game. They have a wide variety , and none of them require spending any money. All you need is a few friends to play with" Tamaki prances over to explain,

"Mhm, and what does this have to do with our coverage of the host club?"

"You need to learn friendliness!" tamaki is very dramatic with his demanding "If you want to clear the negative reputation of the newspaper club, and attempt to capture the hearts of your readers, you must try to be more down to earth. I can just imagine the headlines now 'The handsome boys of the host club enjoy commoner's games' wioth pictures of us frolicking in the scenery of early summer. It would be the perfect face life of your front pag. And it gives you the chance to show that a certain commoner is happier now reliving his childhood here with us!"

Tamaki pulls the host club into another game, running back to the rest of the club, the Newspaper club approaching Haruhi for an interview, you watching on noting that they had agreed to no interviews and they are already breaking that however they did not seem to be inferring anything about Haurhi's identity. Still you shut it down quickly when it starts to go longer than needed.

During a game of kick the can, or kankeri the newspaper club wander off while the others hide and Kyoya starts counting until he hits 6, dropping the facade of playing the game and standing up once he realises they are gone, you raise an eyebrow "I didn't think you would cheat at anything as small as a playground game kyoya" you say, assuming hes going to jump to searching for them early.

"I'm not cheating, there's something I need to do" he says, wandering off to follow the newspaper club "Wait!" you call after him, running behind."

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"That's it i'm writing the article" Komatsuzawa seeths, marching down the hallway "But president, you have no evidence, gossiping about suoh or l/n is dangerous"

"I don't need evidence, I'll make evidence if I have to, I can think of all kinds of scandals surrounding them. Everyone will see it, once I'm finished with them they'll both have to flee back to europe"

They slam open the doors to the newspaper club to find the twins waiting for them. "So we were right all along"

"You two"

"well, I guess it was pretty obvious"

"The boss and Y/n are the only ones who haven't caught on yet, well, she'll know soon enough, both of them are quite oblivious when it pertains to anything about themselves"

"I should warn you, if you threaten either of them, there will be concequences" "Are you ready to have the Hitachiins and every other club members' family as your enemy?"

"I knew it, you're nothing but Suoh's lackeys! Tamaki's holding his parents' power over you"

"That's not true, we don't hang out with tama-chan because of his parents. We love him. We all like being around him, and that's why we choose to be here."

"He may be a hopeless idiot but even so" Kyoya appears against the wall the door is on, hand on your shoulder.

"Well what will you do?"

"Please leave Tama-chan alone, okay?"

"I'll get you all! It's not just about him anymore! I'll write an article that will ruin all of you"

The president squints at you and Kyoya, assessing his body language and the interactions he had in the past couple of days. "Oh I see now, it's so obvious I can't believe I didn't see it sooner. Your family's have paired you two haven't they?"

You and Kyoya fall silent, you had to admit that you had underestimated him enough to assume he wouldn't put it together. "That's why you came to Japan of all places, why you're always together, they want to combine the forces of the Ootori and l/n groups"

You note how Kyoya's grip tightens at the words. "How perfect, I can both expose your engagement to drive away host club guests and write an article that will tear the deal apart"

"Go ahead, be my guest" your jaw drops at Kyoya's words as he wanders over to the first aidkit he had gifted them. "Although..." he presses a panel at the bottom of the box, ejecting a disk.

"What should we do about this little disk? You see it's been here since yesterday, and it recorded everything. It would only take y/n one phone call and it would be all over the country. How do you think your father would react to that?"

"President just give up already" He falls to his knees.

"Let me explain it to you in terms you can understand. You would do well to remember that the ootori group and the hitachiin family alone have enough stock to remove your father from his position as president of the Komatsuzawa publishing firm. However, we would never do something like that. We are not like you. What we strive for is fundamentally different."

The president is still on his knees as you go to leave the room "You're just as twisted as your father" you pause at the words. Leaving only him, you and kyoya in the room. You shake your head.

"No i am nothing like my father, I don't betray the people I trust, I am sorry for what he did to your father. But you don't think I'm twisted because I am similar to him, you just don't want to admit that you have started to become like him"

You leave, kyoya following behind.

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Eventually you found where Tamaki and Haruhi disappeared to within the hedge maze, now on the way out for cake. "Why didn't you tell me about planting the bug in the Newspaper club?" You ask Kyoya, the rest of the club ahead. "i didn't know how you'd react, I knew it would be the best way to ensure that no harmful articles came out, I had a feeling komatsuzawa would pull something like this once you mention how you two know each other"

you pause, realising exactly how many times Kyoya has gone out of his way to protect you despite him not needing to.

'You love him, don't you? is that romantic love or something else?'

Mori's voice rang around your head, almost taunting you.

pressure seized itself in your chest as you realise a few things.

You had let Kyoya in. For the first time in your life it was you and him, not just you.

"Come on y/n! We don't want to lose you" Tamaki called from further ahead.

Next time on patience 'A refreshing battle in Karuizawa!'

Tag list (reply to be added): @skottch @cgmajor @rebirthbunbun @bbybubbles @blueberry19000 @katgirl05 @smellslikelovinglies @veras-fanfic-reblogs @sadprimrose @mirtalikesdr @sleeplesssskeleton @ritzes28 @crackpeole @rory-cakes @renjunniex @II-kita-san-II @angelicwillows @missbrebre1012 @sleep-7372 @strawberrbitch @reticent-writer @eternal-dokja @meme848 @mistyhydrangeagarden

[yowyowyaoi]

*At the newly rebuilt Uchiha compound*

Sasuke: So today’s the day, eh, old man? Are you nervous?

Obito, standing in front of a mirror: N-no! Why would I be nervous??

Madara, from his easy chair: You’ve only re-adjusted that tie about fifteen times now, boy. Tsk; all of this preparation for that eye-stealing son of a —

Itachi: Okay, “gramps”, we talked about this. You know it’s only by virtue of Kakashi Hatake’s compassion and mercy that you and Obito were allowed to remain free after the war. Be grateful.

Madara, grumbling: “Mercy”, indeed. He only pardoned us so that the Hokage wouldn’t be getting engaged to a war criminal.

Sasuke: All things considered, Kakashi has been great to all of us, Obito or no Obito. Look, he’s even going to go through this silly clan tradition of “performing” for your intended fiance’s Clan Elder in order to get permission to marry Obito.

Madara: The “clan elder” who SHOULD be me.

Obito, turning from the mirror: C’mon, gramps, we all voted on the wisest and fairest one here being Itachi. He beat you out fair and square; get over it already.

Itachi: I can’t wait to see what kind of act he’s going to put on for us. Does he even have any creative talents?

Obito: I’m not really sure, but I think he mentioned something about singing.

Sasuke: … Singing? I’ve never heard him —

*in the distance there’s a loud commotion coming up the road towards the house*

Madara: *sighs* Sounds like it’s starting; perhaps we should take our places outside.

*all of them go out into the courtyard, where there are prearranged chairs. Obito is the only one not in a chair; he takes a veil and uses it to cover his face, sitting on Itachi’s right side on the ground by his feet*

*A small parade marches up the road towards the house. Kakashi is in the center, dressed all in white. Naruto is on his right, playing a small drum ((slightly off-beat)), Gai is to Kakashi’s left, crying and playing a french horn, and Sakura is to Naruto’s right, skillfully playing a small keyboard strapped to her shoulders*

*they come to a stop directly in front of Itachi, and Kakashi kneels in the grass at Itachi’s feet*

Kakashi: Itachi Uchiha, head of the Uchiha clan. I come before you this morning to receive your blessing to marry Obito Uchiha. As per the traditions of your clan, I have prepared a song that expresses my feelings for him.

Itachi, trying to keep the smile from his face: Proceed.

Kakashi: *stands and beckons to the group, who start to play a gentle-sounding melody*

Kakashi, opening his mouth and letting out a startling horrible singing voice: Obitooooo! I love you sooooo! Since we were little boys, and you would steal all of my toys —

*the Uchiha’s immediately go into telepathically communicating with each other*

Sasuke: Oh my God …

Madara: *laughing hysterically inside of all their minds* I KNEW it!! I knew this union wasn’t meant to be!

Obito: Shut up, Madara! Can’t you tell how heartfelt this is??

Madara: Heartfelt, or meant to make me feel like clawing my heart out of my chest so that I’m not here to suffer this anymore?

Itachi: He’s trying … it’s not so bad …

Kakashi: … and even though I’m not worthy of your claaaaan, I still want you, Obito, to be my maaaaaaan, so come on please, Itachi, give me his haaaaaand —

Sasuke: For God’s sake, even that tone-deaf dumbass Naruto is cringing! Big brother, please, just give him permission and end this! My ears can’t take much more!

Kakashi: And now for the second part of my song, I want to —

Itachi, out-loud: NO! N-no need for any more. You’ve convinced me; there is nobody more worthy of Obito Uchiha’s hand than you. *stands and takes Obito by the arm, lifting him to his feet, before placing his hand in Kakashi’s* Emgagement granted. Come back tomorrow and we shall dine together and discuss plans for a wedding.

*cheers erupt as Kakashi moves Obito’s veil back from his face, and the two kiss*

Sasuke, to Sakura: I’m glad that’s over. I can’t imagine having had to sit through a second verse.

Sakura, grinning: Oh if you thought THAT was bad, wait until you hear the act that Naruto’s got planned for when he comes to ask Itachi for your hand. Lets just say I’ve got my medical team working on hearing aids and prosthetic ears for everyone as we speak.

Sasuke:

[walkswithmyfather]

Isaiah 57:14-15 (NASB).14 “And it will be said, 'Build up, build up, prepare the way, Remove every obstacle out of the way of My people." 15 For thus says the high and exalted One Who lives forever, whose name is Holy, 'I dwell on a high and holy place, And also with the contrite and lowly of spirit In order to revive the spirit of the lowly And to revive the heart of the contrite.'”

Psalm 55:22 (NLT). [22] “Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”

“Prayer in the Believer’s Life” by In Touch Ministries:

“Spending time in communication with God is the best way to grow close to Him.”

“One of the most important disciplines in the life of a believer is prayer. It is the means by which we move into deep and cherished fellowship with God.

When we pray, we’re simply talking to the Lord and trusting that He will answer. In doing so, we learn to listen and wait for His response. And He loves for us to honor Him through this spiritual act of worship.

Indeed, prayer is one of the best ways to honor God. When we pray to our heavenly Father, we are acknowledging that He is God, “the high and exalted One who lives forever, whose name is Holy” (Isa. 57:15). God alone deserves glory, and we honor Him when we “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). That is, we are to maintain a God-focused attitude throughout the day—continually asking Him to govern every detail of our life.

In today’s passage, God says, “I dwell on a high and holy place, and also with the contrite and lowly of spirit” (v. 15). This means that our motives and the condition of our heart are very important in prayer.

The heavenly Father longs for an intimate relationship with His children. Time spent in communication with Him is the best way to develop that closeness.”

[theleavesofwesteros]

love hearts (Loki x F!Reader)

A/N: I'm back already with another oneshot (yay)! This one is shorter and it's a valentine's day one, something fluffy/smutty in honour of me thirsting over loki again (and him being my only valentine this year). anyways, i hope you all enjoy and are doing well!

PS: happy birthday to tom hiddleston! <3

PPS: thank you again to @cafekitsune for the divider and the permission to use it!

AO3 LINK: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62925667

She often wondered how she'd even gotten into this situation. Dating a god wasn't just something that people did. People, human ones, especially. Moreover, dating a god who'd been forced and tortured into trying to destroy New York City was even more of an unusual case. How could she even bring that up to the people in her life? She didn't, actually. She and Loki acted like he was a mortal (much to his amusement) and he simply charmed everyone with a well-timed grin and any possible contradictions about their supposed story were forgotten. However, one bad thing about their romance was how unpredictable his appearances could be. His own habits had to do with that, of course. He liked keeping people (especially her) on their toes. But he was also a royal prince to some kingdom on another planet that she'd not yet seen. He seemed keen not to take her just yet. "Mother would love you," he often insisted, but he didn't say as much about his adoptive father. She didn't think she'd be quite fond of the man either, from what she'd heard. 

Loki had been gone for two weeks now. On Asgard, or maybe even one of the other Realms at this rate. He tried, but communication was somewhat hard to maintain inter-planetarily. She understood, but she missed him. Her life was rather particularly mundane, and especially during the colder months, he was the most exciting thing about her. He always regaled her with stories of his centuries of life, or simply got her to do things she would've never thought to do on her own. 

It was February now, thankfully. After a particularly long January, she found that the second month of the year was going by in a flash. Today of all days, happened to be Valentine's Day, the day of love and friendship. She'd never made a big deal of it, or had big expectations for it, but she'd still opted to wear something of the pink/red variety to work today. She'd gotten in touch with the important people in her life and they'd thanked one another for being in each other's lives. She'd even received a small package of love hearts at work from one of her colleagues (everyone had gotten one). With no warning from her lover, she felt it was safe to assume that his business (whatever it was), had not yet been concluded and that he would not be joining her tonight. She was alright with it. Even if she wasn't, there wasn't much she could very well do about it. 

That's why she found herself making a casual meal for herself, something not too complicated, and then pouring herself a nice drink. It was a day to celebrate, after all, and it had fallen on a Friday, so she felt she could indulge a little and welcome the weekend. Even if she was alone to celebrate it this time, she still had herself, and that was an important person to thank and cherish, indeed. 

What she did not expect, was to hear the telltale woosh of magic, rather, of seiðr, that usually preceded the arrival of someone with a far longer lifespan than hers. She'd just finished washing and putting away the very few dishes she'd used for both the preparation of dinner and the cooking of it, when she turned to see just who had teleported into her apartment. She hoped her guess wasn't wrong. 

And it wasn't. He stood there, waiting for her to set eyes on him. When she did, in his (always) dramatic fashion, he spread his arms wide and grinned with pride at himself. 

"I... am back," Loki said dramatically, nearly waiting for applause. 

She approached him and wrapped her arms around him right away, smiling into his chest. 

"I can see that. Welcome back," She says, her entire demeanor seemingly softening in his presence. 

It was impressive how they did that to one another. 

"... Is that all? No tears of relief at my unexpected return? Darling..." He frowns, placing a hand to his chest. "I'm offended. I might just go back to Asgard for a redo."

She shoots a heatless glare in his direction. "Don't." 

He groans and moves to flop somewhat gracefully onto her couch, long legs spreading nearly automatically and giving her a great view of his thick thighs. She moves her eyes away before he can catch her and tease her for it. He was still dressed in his Asgardian leathers. The ones she loved so much, the ones that were black, with some gold and dark green accents and all those clasps and flaps and added (unecessary) parts. No helmet, though. She moved to him, sitting next to him, her thigh touching his. It earned her a nearly rakish grin, his eyes already glinting with a particular kind of mischief she'd come to recognize (and cherish). 

"I wasn't expecting you back just yet," She says in the comfortable silence. "Did you forget to send a message?"

"No. Did you miss me, love?" He asks, reaching out to place his arm on the back of the couch. He was teasing.

He could touch her so easily, move his big hand just a sliver and touch the back of her neck. But he wouldn't, and they both knew it. She wanted it too much. 

"Of course I did. I always do." She reassures him. 

He hums, considering her words and being seemingly pleased. 

"And... am I wrong in recognizing today as a mortal holiday?"

She falters for a beat, surprised that he considered that to be information worthy of being stored in his mind. 

"I... well, no. It's Valentine's Day, yeah." 

"Mm, as I thought, then. Good." He says, before conjuring up a small, green cloud of seiðr, which left only a rose in its wake. 

She seemed openly surprised at that. He grins and cocks his head. 

"What? Did you want twenty instead, my sweet?"

"No... I just didn't think you'd be back today, and I also didn't think we'd be doing this."

"Doing... this?"

"Yeah, you know... celebrating Valentine's together."

He seems offended at that. 

"And why the Hel not? Have we become lifelong enemies in my short absence? Have we had a falling out?" He gasps dramatically, looking at her with wide eyes. "Have you... found another?" He asks, knowing full well she hasn't. His facade of shock was already faltering, his eyes gleaming with mirth, and his lip twitching ever so slightly. 

She groans, rolling her eyes.

"No, Loki."

"Then... whyever shouldn't we celebrate this, pet? We are a couple, yes? And not a couple of friends, either..."

The final few words he says are lost to her, mind getting caught up in what he calls her. He only really calls her that when he has particular intentions with her. It makes something deep inside of her warm up. 

"We are a couple... of course we are. I just didn't think you'd care."

"Well... my lover is a mortal, and I assume that she cares for such a popular holiday in her world. I am trying to be nice, you know..."

"And I appreciate that... but I didn't expect my immortal boyfriend to even pay attention to what day it is on Midgard, much less make the effort to gift me a rose." She says, resting her cheek on his arm resting on the couch in thanks. 

He turns up his nose slightly at her calling him her boyfriend. He didn't much like that term, least of all for himself. He found that lover was better.

"Well, dearest, I am trying to be romantic. And nice... nicer. For you." He declares, still holding that damned rose. 

She smiles, and takes it, inhaling the scent of it. It was addicting, and so very fresh. Clearly magical. His doing, of course. It was the most perfect flower she'd ever seen. Its red petals smelled fresh, like dew and earth, but also of their expected rose scent. However, there was something disctinct at the end of the scent... a sort of aftertaste. An aftersmell? She practically sighed in relief at the smell of it. Loki grinned, her reaction and thoughts surely being obvious. Most of all to him, with his mind reading powers (that he swore he didn't use on her unless explicitly told to).

"That's ambrosia," He says in that low, soft purr that makes her insides feel all hot and molten. 

"Ambrosia? I thought that was only for gods to have." 

"Mm... in food and drink, yes, I suppose so. But no one said anything about smelling it, hmm? A simple enough enchantment, pet. Now..." His hand finally, finally moves, moving to touch the back of her neck ever so gently. "What is it you smell, hm?"

She focuses on that smell, trying to name it for him (he seemed to be after her answer like a cat after the cream). 

"It's... sort of woodsy.. minty, I guess... and leather-y?" She speaks carefully, naming the scents out with careful consideration, her eyes closed to make sure she is smelling it all properly. 

Her eyes open, and she finds him looking all smug and proud, his hand now rubbing her neck softly. 

"It's you. It smells like you. This isn't ambrosia." 

"Oh..." He purrs proudly, leaning in. "But it is, my love... ambrosia tastes, or smells, like ones favourite things. I suppose that just means..." He moves in further, pressing the lightest kiss she's ever felt to her neck. "One of those things for you... is me,"

Her pulse flutters both at his words and at the touch of his lips to her skin. God, she just wanted to absolutely devour him sometimes. Okay, all of the time. He was all long limbs, and he was lean, but he was also so built. He was strong, and those shoulders... and that ass. And all the other, more salacious parts of him, and all they could and had done to her. 

"I've missed you," She says and she finds herself breathless in his presence. 

"Oh, pet... I've missed you, too..." He grins, his voice getting lower, the last few words nearly a groan. 

"I want you to kiss me..." She whispers.

"I'll kiss you... and then I'll kiss you everywhere... and then I shall lick you everywhere." He vows, pressing a kiss to her jaw, this time. 

She groans, hand moving to brace herself onto one of his biceps. 

"I want you to take me... or I can take you..." She says, unable to stop herself from getting closer, from trying to sit in his lap, from simply trying to make herself one with him. 

He laughs softly, even as he pulls her closer, half of her in his lap by now. 

"We've time enough for both, my heart... the night is yet young, and we've a fortnight to make up for, hm?"

"Plus, it is Valentine's Day." She reminds him softly, pressing the first of her kisses to his neck, and then his sharp jaw, and then those damned sharp cheekbones. 

He moans softly at her attentions, holding her closer by the waist. 

"Oh, yes, it is indeed... the day of love, and lust... we must do our best to celebrate it, yes?"

And celebrate it, they do indeed.

[stardancerluv]

What the Emperor Wants

Part Seventeen

Summary: Reader is visited. Geta & his future empress share a moment.

Notes/Warnings: No warnings, some fluff, some angst, some dated views on religion & gods, dated views on communicating with the dead.

Pallas parts of a woman’s attire.

Thank you so much for reading!

❤️s, reblogs, comments & feedback is always welcome! 💐 If you would like to be tagged. Just ask! 💐

In may have been a short while but you had grown used to sitting off to the side behind Geta for everything from outside of the royal domus to this one or the one in country. It felt comfortable. It felt safe. But this was the first time you sat right beside him.

Some eyes flickered your way and when you caught them most looked away. A few who didn’t, you then looked away. But that was a only small handful.

Idly, you wondered if one of those here now were brazen enough to threaten you and then attend the banquet welcoming Geta’s mother. For a passing moment you could feel the cold metal against your throat. Quietly, you shrugged off the ill thoughts you would not allow that person to bring shadows to the feels of excitement you felt.

A herald, proudly announced his mother. There were cheers, clapping, hands over hearts and fists in the air.

You happily clapped. She may have said things possibly to upset you; but you knew how serious, nervous your own had been when your elder brother married. So you understood her emotions. You didn’t like them, but you understood.

You watched as she settled not far from you and Geta. Though an empty place was near here. You knew it was where Caracalla would be. You wondered idly where he would be.

At the memory of your mother, silently you sent her a prayer, you wished reached her in the afterlife. Hopefully, Pluto would allow her to hear the love of a daughter.

You followed Geta’s lead as you have before and sat. You relaxed once glasses began to clink, food began to be consumed and the hush of whispers and voices filled the air, laced by the beautiful playing of a lyre. You had heard, his mother was fond of those strings being plucked.

“Blossom?”

You resisted the urge to flinch. Geta’s voice was low, comforting.

“Yes?” You gave him a side long glance., while a smile played on your lips.

You had taken notice that the inky black was sharper around his eyes, and the sweet smelling powders, took and hid the flush of the anger that had burned so hotly in him. He was looking incredibly handsome.

“You looked far away. Are you in good spirits?”

You nodded. “Yes. Your words had given me great comfort.”

“Good.”

He sat back and popped a grape into his mouth, yet you felt under the table as he grabbed your hand and held your hand. He brought it to his thigh. His hand rested over yours.

Moments later, you heard a sharp chirp, before four tiny hands landed on your shoulder. You gave Dondas a glance. “Hello Dondas.” You greeted softly.

“Brother, you thought I’d be late didn’t you?”

Caracalla said in a soft, singsong voice, his overly warm hand rested on your shoulder just beside Dondas’s small ones and glancing at Geta, he had rested his other hand on his brother’s shoulder. He bent between the two of you, a lopsided smile was across his face.

“Not terribly so. Mother on the other hand may have.”

He giggled, more childlike than the ones you had heard when they were in the royal box.

“I wouldn’t miss a banquet for her.”

He appeared to waver on his feet. You wondered idly if he had more wine than he should before arriving. Standing again he slipped away from the two of you. Though, it was not before Dondas jumped from your shoulder to Caracalla. It landed, scuttled up one of the many colorful fabrics that hung and were twisted around him.

You glanced as he went over their mother, a strained look came over her face. You’d know that look on anyone.

*******

As the night grew on, and several dishes had been passed and glasses had been filled and refilled. Exhaustion, grew heavier on you. You could see as a cloud of it appeared to cross Geta’s eyes more than once.

With a gentle tug one you were familiar with you allowed yourself to be drawn closer to Geta.

“Yes, Geta.” You said barely above a whisper.

You were not entirely certain how to address him, especially in the presence of his mother.

“Sleep is attempting to claim me. And I am sure it is trying to claim you. Shall we walk back to my chambers and yours ?”

“Yes, please.”

*******

A handful of praetorian guards were close. You felt as if your every move was looked over. Did their opinion matter? Did they even concern themselves with his decision to make you his empress. Your stomach churned with all of the foods you had over the course of the evening.

*******

The walk to your chambers felt shorter than any other time. You were met with the brief halt outside the door to what had become your room.

“Check her room. All of you. I don’t want any corner, any shadow illuminated.” Geta’s sharply ordered.

Their armor, their swords and their feet jangled and thundered louder as they past the two of you.

After the last one passed the two of you in the passage way, a lone torch only flicked from the wall. You gasped as Geta, suddenly pulled you took him. His solid body, was against yours. It stole your breath. You barely saw a flash of his dark eyes, which were even darker with the ebony ink that still traced them. His lips found yours. They stole and pulled a kiss from you. Your lips responded in turn. It had felt like, eons since the last time they touched.

Distantly, there was the loud sound of the guards returning the door that separated the two of you.

You both parted, your heart like horses at a strong gallop and the warmth of the wine you drank was stronger.

The door opened. “Her chambers are safe.” Gallus, informed. You recognized him from other times Geta had spoken with him.

“Stay in her room while she slumbers. Just before Sol turns the sky from a rich purple to a clear blue, keep watch over her and fetch me. Then you shall retire till the moon in its brilliance in high once again in the sky.” Geta, ordered.

“Yes, sire.” Gallus, nodded.

You were surprised that he would fetched at such a time in the day or even at all. Looking his way, his eyes flickered and briefly met yours.

“Till dawn.” He said.

You bowed gently. The act felt right at that moment. “Till dawn.”

*******

“You will not know that I’m here.” Gallus told you sometime later.

“I am not terribly sure of this. But I will take your word.”

“Yes, my augusta.”

You glanced at him after the reply he had given you. You but his gaze did not meet you, but appeared to be on the hard ground before him.

You were not sure if it was right or even the particular act would be frowned upon. But you loosened some of the twists of your hair. As you finally laid for the evening. Left in your under stolla with the scarves in their colorful brilliance laid on one of your chairs. Like that of an artists work on one of the walls.

It was still rather stirring within you, there was a lounge, two chairs and this bed that was much too big in your chambers. You had only had some bedding and stool and the stool as still something you had grown accustomed to.

Lying in the bed, a whirl of emotions twisted and moved within you. A chill lingered from having that knife at your throat made you pull the blanket higher.

*******

You found yourself on a cool, stone bench. Blue, silvery water lapper at the dark gray and black stone that crested the water and were under foot.

A great dread and loneliness came over you. You wrapped your arms around yourself, wondering what you could possibly doing there. It was unlike anything your eyes had ever fallen on.

Feeling, a sharp chill graze your shoulder you looked up and gasped.

“Mother!” You leapt up, with no hesitation you threw your arms around her. She felt frailer, colder than she ever had in life. Your touch was feather light. You pulled back.

“Mother.” You said softly.

She nodded. “I heard your prayer.”

Tears, sprang from your eyes.

“The gods favor you, they favor him at this time. They grant us this gift.”

She came and sat beside you, cool fingers that barely you felt brushed aside your tears.

You took her hand, in both of yours. You wished you could give it some of your warmth.

“Oh, mother I…” You stumbled over over what to say. There was so much. “I don’t even know words to speak.”

She nodded, a smile not as radiant as a summers day touched her lips but it was a smile.

“Words are on a breeze my daughter but your heart has spoken.”

You squeezed her hand, knowing she had heard your prayer.

“Oh, mother.”

Her hand easily took yours had was graced with the precious ring and delicate bracelet Geta had given you. She gently touched the ring.

“My sweet girl, wild as an untamed mare.” She looked up at you. “A flame that burns brightly within you is why the gods chose you for him. You both are very strong, powerful flames.”

“It is not just curly, fiery strands that crown his head.”

A shadow of the amusement that only your mother could make fell over her face.

“Even here you have that flame that had caused so much worry in my heart..”

“Where is here?”

“A place where I am now, and hopefully you will not bring any light to for a very long time.”

“Why am I here now then?”

“Your being, you came close. Your flame danced on its wick but remained strong. And since, the gods do guide him and they allowed you to see my acceptance.”

“Mother.”

********

A warm hand, a gentle touch grazed your shoulder, startled you awake.

Terribly ruffled curls fell into his forehead as he looked down at you.

“Geta.”

“Yes, blossom.”

You sat up and not caring at all; you hugged him. You needed his solid warmth. You trembled as his arms, strong and warm wrapped around you. His hand gently moved up and down your back.

“This is this is the time between night and day. It is our time.”

Purple light flooded into your room. Gently pulled back and nodded after meeting his eyes.

“I am grateful for that. I had missed you.”

“And I you.”

You held each other then. At that moment, you don’t know why he needed you, but you knew why you did. You enjoyed his solid warmth.

@honey-eyed-munson @amethyst-serenade @laura-naruto-fan1998 @screaming-blue-bagel @kitkat80 @blondie324 @alyisdead @hellomadamebutterfly @helsa3942 @marrowfrog00 @misspendragonsworld @therealjomarch @deliciousfestsalad @aspiringwhore @justalittlebitshy @littlemissholy

[worfs-glorious-hair]

Gale and the impossible choice

Some Gale musings I wrote just after I went down to the mindflayer colony in the act 2 finale and Gale mentioned that we will soon find the heart of the Absolute and I began to wonder what goes through his mind there at this point in the story. I also realised that we as the galemancing community do not talk about this moment and it’s angsty potential there enough. So I went to change it.

Gale x Tav/Reader they/them, no physical descriptions, no class mention, angst, considering using the orb, hurt/ not yet-comfort, whump (?), act 2 finale, canon-typical themes and implied violence (?), Mystra mentions :(

So, what does Gale feel when he does not want to go through with using the orb for the heart of the Absolute but thinks that he does not have a choice? (AKA bomb score is down)

My love, my only love, know that I will love you until my very last breath. Know that you are the only one I love.

Remember me when I am gone.

Tav, you are sleeping next to me and I hope you are dreaming of me. Maybe you are dreaming of the life we will never have. The life I will never have. I hope you will have it. A life in the sun and the goodness of the world, with no shadows and no tadpoles.

Maybe you will remember the fool who loved you once. Maybe you’ll remember my kisses. I will remember yours, your lips on my skin, your tender words, your warmth, your touch, your love when the times comes…

Gale sighed as he crossed out what he had written on a page that he had teared off from an old, mouldy smelling book with water stains on the cover.

How should he ever find the right words to explain what he did not wanted to do and yet planned on doing?

A simple truth that complicated everything – he did not want to die! Not anymore.

It could have been so easy, would Mystra had commanded him to destroy the heart of the Absolute just a few months ago he would have done it without hesitation, without doubt.

Anything for Mystra’s forgiveness. Anything for her embrace.

Thank the gods that were still willing to listen that she hasn’t.

Because he would have done it and would have been irreversibly gone from this realm now. He would not have gotten abducted by a mindflayer nautiloid then, would not have gotten stuck in a stone in a portal between the realms and he would have never been rescued by the kindest soul he ever had the pleasure to know. To love.

The kindest soul who loved him in return, by miracle or cruel fate.

Tav…

Tav, who slept curled into his side, undisturbed by the lights he had conjured to write his letter. His forced goodbye.

Tav, with a finally relaxed face now as they rested.

Tav who faced the curse around them so bravely, Tav, who had cried into his chest on too many days when the darkness and the shadows had been too close to their soul. And he had held them close and had conjured colorful lights to distract. To light up the world. To bring joy back.

The same lights that danced over the two of them now.

The lights that kept the nightmares and the shadows away. But they did not work, not for him at least.

He did not want to die. Not as long as Tav would need his dancing lights. Not as long as Tav looked at him like Mystra never did. Grateful. Loving. Human. In awe.

Not as long as Tav whispered I love you into his ear before they went to sleep by his side.

Not as long as Gale wanted to live, with Tav, for Tav.

But what choice would he have, what option could be there that Mystra hadn’t found to destroy this threat? It was the only way. It had to be – would she be otherwise so cruel?

His life for the world.

A good bargain – for the world.

But not for him. He would loose. He would loose everything again.

And it was not fair.

Nothing was.

Why would he have to sacrifice his soul to deal with Mystra’s command. Why him? Why her discarded, tossed out lover. Her outcast.

Her ex-lover!

He owed her nothing anymore. Not a favour and especially not his blind compliance. No, if, when, he would do it, he would do it out of love, not for her but for Tav. He would do it for the world so that Tav and the others whose company and friendship and spells and blades he had found and grown to adore may live. That they could be free of the tadpoles. Free from its influence.

He would do it for those who were also infected but not protected, he would do it for the sake of the world.

I am in love with you, too!

There it was, Tav’s confession. Their words, their love always echoing in his mind when he thought about Mystra’s expectations. He heard Tav’s confession over and over again and he wanted to live. To heal.

He wanted to do anything but to blow himself up.

I refuse to believe that this is the end! There has to be another way, we will find another way. Like we always have! You don’t have to die! I won’t allow it!

Tav, whose voice had quivered and their eyes had been so earnest and true and Gale had wanted to loose himself in them. In their affection for him. In their faith. In their love.

If only he could have the faith that Tav had.

If only their faith could move indeed mountains, if only it would be enough.

He had wanted it to be enough.

But they had not found another way. They had just gotten closer and closer to Ketheric as the endless, lightless days had passed and Gale had begun to gather the words to say his goodbyes. Or better to write his goodbyes.

And now were there all gone. Nothing was good enough. Nothing was the truth.

The simple truth that made everything so difficult. And was yet so important!

I do not want to write to you. Because I want to talk to you. Talk and live and learn like lovers do. Like companions in life do.

I do not want to say goodbye with ink on paper and a fearful heart…

I want to say hello to you each morning and to explore the world with you.

I WANT TO LIVE!

Tomorrow they would face Ketheric, tomorrow it would all be over.

And he wanted to scream.

I do not want to die! I want to live – with you. Please, save me, my love, save me again from the stone!

And tomorrow came. And they assaulted Moonrise. And Ketheric fled into the abyss under the towers.

And they had no choice but to follow him down into the pit of darkness and rotten flesh.

But before Tav could make the jump pulled Gale them aside.

And he kissed them. Like he had never done before. Like it was the very last time. Because it was. Because he would have no tomorrow. No matter how much he wished he had.

And he held Tav’s face in his hands and savoured the feeling of their lips on his.

Their scent, their taste all around him, he wanted to remember it, to taste them on his tongue until the very end that awaited them in the rotting darkness.

The kiss was hard and desperate and still, Tav smiled at him when they had to let go of each other eventually.

“It is going to be alright”, they gently reassured him, “I will protect you, my love! I promise. We will kill Ketheric and we will find a cure, you’ll see! It all will be over soon!”

And Gale prayed for a miracle. Just one. Prayed to no one in particular. Understood suddenly Ketheric’s willingness to turn away from the gods that had abandoned him in his time of need to serve anyone who was willing to listen. Anyone willing to help. Anyone willing to grant just this one miracle.

And the miracle came, it came in the form of love. It came in the unwavering truth of lovers, in three simple words –

I choose you!

[numberonetacostan]

I feel like Pickle tried to learn to speak French back in season 1. He saw they got along and really wanted to better understand her. By the end of the season, he was near fluent, and was planning on surprising Taco with the fact he learned French just to be able to talk fully with her! Only for the season 1 finale to come around and, y'know.

Caption: Pickle: Salut, Taco! Je voulais vous surprendre en apprenant le français ! de cette façon, nous pouvons mieux communiquer !- (Hi Taco! I wanted to surprise you by learning french! This way we can communicate better!-) Taco: fck off After the finale, he only uses this French, for example, playing a game or watching a movie that has French in it. It's very rusty due to a lack of practice. I feel like Microphone knows the basics of French but has less motivation to learn it since Taco does speak English incredibly well. This is the first drawing i ever did of taco btw:

Hi Moldy!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in an ask with your art!!! :D!!!! I love them!!!!!!! <3 I like the warm colour palette a lot!!!!! The next time you send in an ask, please tell Loomy what program you draw on! ;P

Oh my god that's so sad. He works so hard to speak good French nice and fast to better connect with her and help her communicate with him and everyone else and. She spoke English the entire bloody time. He'd probably lose the skill by the time she comes to apologize, since he'd actively avoid practicing his French when all t does is remind him of her, yeah? Maybe helps OJ and Paper assemble some furniture with instructions in French or something, though.

Mic knows a bit of French words and phrases from Taco and isn't too interested in knowing more pre-breakup, but I think after they're together again she'd put in more effort, at least after she learns that Taco spoke French with Mepad and writes her diary in French, yeah? Sometimes it's easier for someone to communicate in a different language, and if Taco can express her emotions easier in French, then Mic is gonna study up for her!!

[shigarakisstalker]

hii ! i’m the one who asked for dabi x fem!reader with family issues and YOU ATE 🥹💓 comfort fics are my fave!!

i was now thinking of maybe hcs of dabi & shoto todoroki (separately) of how they would be like if they had a crush on fem!reader? considering their lack of affection at home and how maybe dabi would see it as weakness while shoto would probably not understand his feelings, so i wondered how they would process and act on it ?? if that makes sense 😭

but thank you again for writing my ask! it really made my day :)

hello my love! i’m so glad it made your day that means so much to me 😭💞 and i’m so glad you enjoyed it :) i love your asks so much so here you go!

when the todorokis have a crush on a !fem reader…

dabi refused to acknowledge it at all. a cold hearted villain like him falling for someone? unheard of. he couldn’t do it. but god your smile. he loved everything about you, whether he wanted to acknowledge it or not. despite being a villain you were so kind and gentle to him. it was unbearable for him. he even found himself resenting you for a little bit because of the new found feelings. it’s only when you finally confront him about his harsh attitude towards you that he finds himself spilling his guts. you can’t help but be astonished. never had you expected it from someone like him. but nonetheless you welcomed him with open arms.

but don’t be fooled, a relationship with him is complicated as fuck. he lacks any sense of communication skills and is so back and forth. he can’t choose between being harsh and shutting you out or being affectionate in his own ways. he’s more of a “i’ll do things for you to prove my love but i wont show affection” type of guy, contrary to popular believe. it takes forever for you to be able to touch him without him flinching or being repulsed.

shoto is more open about it all. he absolutely loves your attention and finds it comforting. being that he lacked it so much in his child hood, he is soooo clingy and demanding. it takes awhile for this side to introduce itself to you, but it’s so worth it in the end. he’s not really a pda type of person so it’s all i’m private. but he does do little things in public when he’s feeling extra needy or jealous. little things like resting his chin on your shoulder, holding pinkies with you, and subtly wrapping an arm around your waist.

but like i said, it takes awhile for this side of him to warm up to you. at first he doesn’t like the attention, thinking it’s too much and uncomfortable. but once he gets used to it he’s demanding for it constantly. he needs you to make up for it after all these years loll.

[midnightshindig]

could we get hc’s/a drabble for a reader who’s cecil’s daughter x rex? keep up the great work 🙏

Rex Splode X Cecil’s Daughter! Reader

(Omggg I love this request, thank you sm!!!)

You worked closely with your father, partly because you were the best supervillain profiler in the world and partly because he loved you dearly

After the life he’s lived, Cecil knew the safest place was with him and Donald at HQ.

But you couldn’t just stand around and look pretty, no no, he insisted you learned a trade

and I mean hey, you get good at what comes easy, right?

so you ended up being the top profiler for the GPA, figuring out a villains motive and analyzing the best course of action from hundreds of thousands of miles away, with only information gleaned from surveillance drones and the Guardian of the Globes’ radio comms descriptions

This is how you met Rex

Like your father, you were efficient to a fault

like your father, you made few mistakes and took pride in your work

Unlike your father, you sounded cute as hell

and Rex noticed.

it started off innocent enough, with him being the most descriptive of the Guardians when it came to villain descriptions:

”OH MY GOD FUCKING SHIT HES GOT A GUN OEJABTBNWNT-“

”Uhhhh temperament? Well shit Y/n he’s got a temper he’s TRYING TO MURDER ME AGRHAHR-“

“No I have no idea what her agenda is- but she kicks like a fu-cking mule and I can’t get her to back off of me!”

mostly just whining. Actually, almost exclusively whining.

You built up a rapport over time, like audio pen pals, or a really shitty podcast for the other to listen to.

eventually, you started chatting over comms even outside of missions.

”heyyyy y/n, are you online?”

”Yes Rex, you know I stay on during the day. Is there a threat?”

”Naw I just thought you’d want to hear me drink sixteen beers in five minutes”

”why would I want to-“

the sound of chugging and metal being crushed, followed by the horrific noises of a newly emptied stomach followed suite.

Your father didn’t approve, not because of intermingling work and pleasure, he knew the best source for companionship is within the industry

bit Rex?

*glances over at Rex trying to drink a beer immediately after throwing up sixteen beers*

are you trying to send him into an early retirement?

but he’s your dad and ultimately he figures you could do Rex some good

so at the Guardians Christmas party, he introduces you:

”Uhm, I’d like you all to meet Y/n, she’s the chief profiler you’ve been communicating with for the last few months. She is also my daughter, but I trust you will respect her as the professional she is.”

Rex is on you immediately

Cecil is regretting all his life choices

he should’ve gotten you a puppy and Rex a tomagatchi. Or actually nothing because he doesn’t care about Rex.

buuuuut he cares about you, and what kind of father would he be if he didn’t try and facilitate you being happy?

so you and Rex meet in person for the first time, and he’s a mess.

”Heyyyyy hot stuff, we gotta get you a video camera or something because god damn!”

you raise an eyebrow with a smile, and take a long, agonizingly quiet sip from your drink.

before spitting it into the cup

he can’t help but laugh when he realizes what’s happen

”Oh yeah! I spiked the punch, it’s so highschool Cecil didn’t think I’d actually do it!”

”Jesus Christ- what the fuck did you spike it *with*?” You ask indignantly, your mouth burning

His Face is smug as ever “Everclear”

After everyone (including you and Rex) get belligerently drunk, Cecil cancels workplace parties.

It brings good things, however, breaking the ice for future in-person hangouts

he may not be able to fly you around the world like Mark, but he can treat you to a pretty impressive firework show whenever you want

the first time he does this is the time he asks you out.

You’re on the mountain outside the base, and he says he’s got “something special to show you”

Please don’t throw up sixteen beers again please please please-

A mirage of colors and shapes flash across the sky

He looks back at you after finishing, the last firework delayed enough to erupt into a burst of pinks and reds when he asks you

”Uhm- I know it’s super unprofessional and your dad will totally kick my ass if I mess this up, but would you wanna go on a date sometime?”

Your profiling skills didn’t pick THAT up

You blink. Hard.

”like. With you?”

he furrows his brow in embarrassed anger and takes a few huffy breaths, folding his arms

”Uh. Yeah. With me!” He frowns even more, his anger breaking to reveal a glimmer of anxiety

this boy is so nervous please just answer him

and do you do, standing up from your perch on the snowy mountainside and putting your gloved hands in his

”Yeah- I mean- that’s agreeable to me if it’s agreeable to you.”

somewhere like hundreds of miles away, Cecil sighs in relief for the first time in decades.

so you and Rex start dating!

he’s a bit of a gym rat, and most of your interaction is still over comms, since he’s so busy saving the world and stuff

wow your boyfriend is so cool!

but you also carve out time to show Rex the cool stuff your dad has taken you to see over the years.

its a little weird for Rex

”Yeah- this is my dads favorite painting- and this is where we go to get ice cream- and-“

Rex isn’t sure he knows how to interact with Cecil after learning his favorite broadway musical. Or that he has one at all.

Cecil isn’t sure how to react when your bedroom cork board is no longer sparse, but filled with Polaroids and photo strips of you and his employee slash superhero lackey. Kissing. Eugh.

Rex values your skills, and often makes a game out of people watching with you

”The guy with the huge dick energy, in the green hoodie.”

”Mmmm…. Kelptomaniac with a fent problem, looks like he has early onset arthritis and an iron deficiency. Most likely to rob a combination grocery store and pharmacy.”

”that’s brutal! Okay what about the girl with the huge… um… tank top. Striped, by that statue!”

”Developed quickly, has crow feet and probably did ballet as a child, but stopped around middle school. Her hair looks natural but is dyed, likely from ginger to brown based on the undertones. She has a twitch in her arm and a shakiness in her eyes, probably low blood sugar. Hence-“ you gestured to the ice cream cart next to her “Why she’s in line. Like we should be, cmon!”

you pull him over and get ice cream, he gets rocky road every time, and always insists on getting a bite of whatever you got

Bonus:

Rex and Cecil are both relatively bad at the traditional family dynamic

but Rex wants to”meet the parents” like he never could with Eve for obvious reasons

so you bring him to hq for the Superbowl

Every year you, Cecil, and Donald stream the Super Bowl on a side screen while carrying out your regular duties, along with a cheap plastic football shaped bowl of potato chips, Donald’s favorite, and a smaller bowl of peanut m&ms, Cecil’s favorite.

Rex studies really hard on the Eagles and the Chiefs

only to realize nobody except Donald actually gives a shit how the game plays out

rex scores MAJOR brownie points with Donald though

and since he’s like basically an uncle to you, he counts it as a win

cecil thinks he’s lame

”if you put this much effort into training as you do trying to impress me via an archaic bid to my masculinity, the world might actually be a safe place.”

ouch.

Rex eats all the peanut m&Ms in revenge

[waynes-multiverse]

Right??! I love some Shaw drama 😂

And honestly, if you do get the books, get the eBook version and use the search for what you want to find because they're looong lol (unless you really want to read them and Colter's current case 😅). I mostly used them for research, but I got really hooked on some parts then 😂 I did read the third in its entirety. I'm really curious where the show is going because in the books, their mom is a lot nicer and less sus loll ➡️ But if you ever wanna know something specific, ask away 😉

Ahh so him wanting to solve his father's murder is what drove him to distance himself from his wife and kids, in order to help him reconcile with Colter. It does make sense, even if it is heartbreaking.

My headcanon was that Russell naturally would have some childhood trauma and would've probably realized more what was going on than his younger siblings (sorta like Dean lol). But my thought was that having kids would probably trigger some subconscious fears, and due to the paranoia he experiences through his job, he seems like someone who would've worried a lot he'd become like his father, so reconnecting with his siblings was a way to close those old wounds and finally move on. No idea if that makes sense, but here we are 😂

Solving the murder was more a means to end for him because he assumed Colter wouldn't believe him without evidence. But you can tell Russell is still a bit in denial about some things and clearly thinks it's better to just leave it be. Luckily, reader and Colter won't let him lol

I was literally just wondering about how he views his mom in all of this. She literally let Colter believe Russell had something to do with Ashton's fall, and then basically told him to get gone. What kind of mother does that? She seems very suss in all of this.

Like I said above, I'm extremely curious what the show is doing because they give us these crumbs that don't match the books 👀

LMAO. I don't know who Manny is, but I already love him! 😂

Manny is the best and sweetest character in all of this. He jumped straight from the prequel to say hi 😂

LOL God, Russell isn't good at this, is he? It's tough to say which one of the Shaw boys got more childhood related trauma affecting their ability to communicate, let alone be emotionally available. 😭

Oh, he really isn't 😆 And I do think Russell is more socially awkward but craves company/family, whereas Colter is smoother talking to people but prefers to be alone lol

Oh my God, Russ… I wasn't expecting you to take it there, but it's an understandable consequence of his PSTD, especially for him as a soldier. It also explains why she picked up Lewis and left him to pull himself together.

I thought a long time about it, but I figured he would at least have some mild PTSD, and (in this story lol) it amplified the childhood trauma. I figured that would make sense for him. And reader packing the kids and leaving was supposed to mirror his childhood and own mother a little. I think in the end, Russell even admired her (and loved her more) for leaving because she put the kids first, and he probably wished his mother had done the same 🥲💔

Ooh again with those lies of omission...

Oh, it never stops with him 😂

But I'm glad Colter and Russell are getting just as much of an honest heart-to-heart as Russ and the reader did. 💜

Aww, glad you enjoyed that! I so wanted to give them a real and honest conversation since the show still hasn't really done that. *sighs* hooray for fanfics! 😂🩵

The Exit Strategy – Part 4

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, some angst & feels, family secrets, spy stuff, a bit of spiciness

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: Welcome back, friends! We're diving a bit into Shaw family secrets this week – fully Wayne's version, though. While I did read the books, there's no major spoilers**, so don't you worry. I just played with an idea here 🤓 I also won't be fully diving into the Shaw family life, but some things are heavily hinted to be... fishy here 👀 Enjoy & let me know what you think! 🤍

**There's a small part where Russell tells Colter about their parents. It's mentioned in the books that their mother was a psychiatrist. I took that and ran with it 🤷‍♀️

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Part 4: This Is Not an Exit

“You’ve been walking down memory lane a lot tonight,” you teased with a nudge of his ribs, still tightly cuddled in his warm embrace in the freezing basement.

“Haven’t you?”

“No, I have,” you admitted with a melancholic sigh. “Maybe we should stop dwelling on the past so much. Think more about the future…”

Russell scoffed a small chuckle. “Dory said something similar not that long ago. Actually the reason why I came here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, his fingers absently drawing circles on your arm. “I think it’s time we retire, sweetheart. I mean, after everything we’ve been through, I think we deserve to, right? You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I’m surprised we’re even still here, considering how many war zones we’ve been in.”

“Well, you know what they say – beware the old soldier because he’s old for a reason,” you said with a smile.

“Yeah, think I might be getting a little too old…” Russell chucked lightly, running a hand through his long hair. “So? What d’you think? One last hurrah, and then we hang this up? I was thinking maybe we could open up a brewery, you know? A family place. Bet the kids would love it.”

“Sounds nice,” you said with a yearning smile. You wanted all of that and more. “I’d love to retire with you.”

“But?”

You laughed slightly at his anticipating look. “But I don’t think you can yet.”

His eyebrows drew together till they met above the bridge of his freckled nose. “What d’you mean? I just told you I’m ready.”

“You say you are, but you aren’t,” you replied like the annoying Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Have you solved the murder yet?”

Russell licked his lips, which was his telltale sign that you caught him there. After all, you knew him better than anyone in this world – knowing when he needed to be pushed and shoved was part of it.

“No, but I don’t need to anymore. Look, the only reason I wanted to solve it was because I thought I had to prove my innocence to Colter. And well, turns out I didn’t. He believed me anyways, so…”

“That wasn’t the only reason,” you reminded him with a scrutinizing look.

“Maybe, but like I said – Dory thinks we should keep all this bullshit in the past, and after the last three years, I’m starting to agree with her,” Russell said, dragging a hand over his face.

“Look, if that’s what you want–”

“It’s what I want,” he assured you and placed a hand on your thigh, gently squeezing it. “Having my little brother and sister back is enough. I don’t need more. Nothing good ever comes from being greedy.”

You nodded in understanding, clearing your throat. “Still, in the name of our deal to always be honest, I kinda have to confess something.”

Rising from your seat, you dusted off your awful, flowery skirt and wandered to the wall safe once more, retrieving a thick folder from it. You took your place next to Russell again, his questioning eyes meeting yours as you handed him your research.

“When you didn’t come back after a year or so, I started looking into it as well. Might have done a full deep-dive,” you admitted with a bite of your lip.

Russell shot you a chiding look, shaking his head, but most of all, he was worried. “I told you to leave it alone. You don’t know what sorta people we’re dealing with here, but we do know they’re dangerous.”

“I know. I just wanted to help. Figured I could speed it along. I do have more access than you,” you countered softly. “I’m sorry, okay? But I was careful. I promise.”

“Good,” he said and looked at you, interlacing your fingers with his. “‘Cause the last thing I want is losing you over this bullshit, too.”

Nodding, you squeezed his hand in reassurance. “There’s something you should know, though.” He raised his brow anew – you’d always been full of surprises. Life certainly had never been boring. “Someone accessed the files after me.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. Definitely had a higher clearance than me, though,” you replied.

Russell threw his arms up, and you could see he was getting more upset again. “See? This is what I’m talking about! The whole point of us separating was to keep you and the kids away from it. Otherwise, we could’ve just stayed together, and I could’ve joined Horizon anyways.”

“I know that, too,” you said remorsefully. “But don’t worry. I wasn’t followed, and no one ever came after me. I made sure of it. It’s been two years now. They probably figured it was nothing after I didn’t reach out to you straight away.”

“Still… I don’t want you involved, alright?”

“What about Colter? Doesn’t he want to know? He doesn’t strike me as someone who just lets things go,” you noted observantly.

Russell clicked his tongue – a sign of defeat. “He isn’t, but he’s not gonna find anything either. I mean, the only reason I know is because you were so relentless and kept digging.”

“You haven’t told him what we found out?”

Russell licked his lips and admitted quietly, “No. I don’t think it does anyone any good to keep looking into this.”

Leaning forward and hugging your knees, your head bobbed pensively. “I thought you guys talked about what happened?”

“We did. Kinda… It’s complicated,” he stated, swallowing. “Dory was easy, you know? I guess she never really believed it… But it took a while till Colter even picked up the phone, let alone answered a goddamn text message. Had to get a little annoying.”

You smirked. “Well, you’re good at that. That’s how you won me over.”

“By being persistent?”

“Exactly. Like a tardigrade.” You grinned. “I mean, you kind of are doing it now again, too.”

He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, guess so.”

“Is that why you haven’t told him about me and the kids? Because you’re not sure about him yet?”

“Partially, yeah,” he admitted. “I guess I wanted to protect you. And maybe myself a little, too… Not sure I’m ready for those two worlds to meet yet, you know? I mean, you and the kids are the best things that ever happened to me, and when I look at Colter or Dory, I’m sometimes reminded of the worst things in my life.”

“What about your mother?”

Russell let out an exhaustive sigh that was half amused. “Geez, you haven’t changed a bit. You still ask the most uncomfortable questions possible.”

You laughed a little. “Gathering intelligence in uncomfortable ways is kind of my job, Shaw.”

“Yup, and no one’s better at it than you, sweetheart,” Russell quipped.

“So I’m guessing it’s a no on Mommie Dearest?”

Russell licked his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna see her. Mostly because I don’t even know what to fucking say anymore,” he said. “I don’t want her to meet the kids either.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him and took his hand in yours. “It’s your choice, Russ. We go at your pace, alright?”

“Thank you.” Russell brought your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand before he looked at you deeply, a smile dancing across his plump lips. “I love you.”

You mirrored his smile, your heart fluttering like a wild butterfly in your chest. “I love you, too.”

“I’ll tell them – Dory and Colter. I want this to work,” he promised. “Just… after we finish this. I want him to have a clear head. I prefer not to get him killed, you know?”

“I get it. I thought the same thing when I first met you, too,” you joked, patting his chest. “But you brought him into this. It’s kinda on you.”

Russell scratched his bearded chin. “Yeah, but I didn’t exactly know what I’d bring him into.”

“Didn’t you, though?”

Amused, Russell bobbed his head. “Yeah, maybe I did,” he acknowledged. “You know, when Manny called me–”

Your eyes widened. “Manny called you?”

Russell blinked at you, brow creased in confusion. “Yeah, why?”

“That motherfucker…”

Furiously, you stomped to the desk and grabbed the radio. “Drone-5. This is Queen Bee-1. Report to Hive.”

The static of the radio cracked almost instantly, as if the idiot had been waiting all night for this call. “Yo, Queen Bee-1. How’s my boy?” Manny’s laugh echoed through the basement.

Russell’s glowing cheeks reached his eyes when he heard his friend’s voice. He’d known the guy almost as long as Doug.

“You’re the one who fucking told him?!” you yelled into the radio, almost crushing the device in your hand.

“To be fair, I told him not to engage with tango,” Manny sheepishly replied.

“Ha-ha, funny. Fuck you,” you huffed and tossed Russ the walkie-talkie. He caught it with one hand.

His boyish grin widened as he pushed the button. “You know, Drone-5, you could’ve told me you were actually working this thing.”

“Aw, you know I can’t do that. But I guess congrats on crashing another operation. You’re Worker Bee-3 now. Old habits die hard, huh?” Manny chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess…” Russell replied with a lighthearted chuckle, but his teeth tugged pensively at his lips.

“Great to have you back, brother. Hope this works out for you. See you on the other side, man. Oh, and could you move like three feet to the left and turn the washer off? We can barely hear and see you guys, and Drone-2 just ran out to grab popco–”

“No, absolutely not. Out,” you snapped as you grabbed the radio from Russ. He laughed as you put it furiously back on the desk. You knew what you had signed up for, but you still deserved some privacy. Annoyed, you took off your cross necklace – another bug – and settled down beside him again.

“What did he say when he called you?”

“Nothing much, really. Just told me your coordinates and that you like to pick up your mail at three o’clock at the local post office,” Russell replied.

You shook your head, smiling. “Well, he always loved you, so…” You started to chew on your lower lip, the anxiety in your belly returning. For the sake of your mind and heart, you had to make sure Russell was fully back, and this wasn’t just a fluke. “You know, I worry sometimes that if you don’t face this thing with your family, you’ll always feel this way. I mean, after Lewis was born–”

“I know.” Russell nodded, swallowing thickly. He saw the worry shimmering in your eyes, and it cracked his heart a little. “I know I kinda lost it there. Took me by surprise, too. Trust me. Figured I had dealt with all that shit already, you know? But I guess seeing you with him and feeling all that love myself, I just-… I don’t know. I don’t know how she could do it… Ashton was one thing, but she just stood by. And I don’t even know what the hell she was up to while he took us out into those woods…” He shook his head as if to rattle the answer out of his brain. “And then when we found out you were pregnant again… I mean, I’d barely held it together with Lewis. Everything just became a blur. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I worried all the time I’d be like them…”

“I tried to help,” you said softly.

“I know you did. Guess this was just something I had to figure out on my own,” he replied with a beat shrug.

“How’s your vision now? Still blurry?”

“Clearer than ever.” A smile flickered alive on his lips, green eyes boring into yours as he leaned in and kissed you slowly like he meant every word. Blowing a raspberry, he then turned his attention to the file in his lap. “So, what am I gonna find in there?”

“Honestly, nothing we haven’t already puzzled together,” you replied, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. “But I found a couple of names associated with your parents. Thought maybe you could look at them and see if you recognize the person you saw in the woods.”

“I already know where this is going…”

“Russ, please, just–”

Russell interrupted you, placing a soothing palm on your thigh that curbed your enthusiasm. “I’ll think about it, alright?”

Satisfied, you raised two placating hands. “All I was asking…”

“How was the lasagna?”

After four hours in the basement, you and Russell quietly treaded up the stairs a few minutes after midnight, finding Colter in the kitchen, eating leftovers out of the ceramic form in the warm glow of the stove light. Tom, on the other hand, had passed out on the couch, only the blue flickers of the TV and the soft noises of a peaceful nature documentary filling the silence of the dark living room.

“Excellent,” Colter stated, swallowing down a mouthful of lasagna before speaking. “I told Tom he should be a chef in a restaurant or something.”

Russell’s brow knitted in doubt. “Really? Lemme try.”

“You just ate two entire bags of junk. You can’t still be hungry,” you argued with a giggle, shaking your head.

“It’s lasagna,” Russell said simply, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and dove right in.

That man would eat anything. You’d seen him do it, too. He didn’t even go hungry when he was lost in a desert.

“Wow, that is good,” Russell announced his judgement with a full mouth. “Maybe we should hire Tom for the brewery, huh?”

“I’m guessing this means you two talked?” Colter asked with a carefully arched brow.

“Hmm. I don’t know,” Russell mused in jest. “What d’you say, sweetheart? You taking me back?”

You rolled your eyes at his antics. “Guess I have to. God knows returning you is impossible.”

Russell laughed and slung an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He kissed your temple.

But then you noticed Colter’s smile falter, his brows creasing in question. “Is your hair different?”

“Shit!”

Wide-eyed, you bolted back down the creaking stairs to the basement, hearing Russell’s laughter fill the kitchen.

“Was she wearing a wig? And her eyes too, right?” Puzzled, Colter tried to piece it all together. He had already figured by your extensive vocabulary of swear words that you might be a better match for his older brother than he had initially surmised.

“Yup, all fake, man,” Russell confirmed and smirked. “Still think she’s not my type yet?”

“No, I can see it now,” Colter admitted, chuckling. “So, you guys are good?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Russell nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, swallowing.

Colter’s smile widened, filling the older Shaw’s stomach with more guilt. “That’s great. Happy for you, man. Guess that means you’re retiring now, huh?”

Russell scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, we’ll see. Always depends on what the wife decides, you know?”

Yup, he sprinkled that important bit of information into a joke. Then, he watched his little brother take a stumped step back, brow furrowing and unfurrowing and then furrowing again.

“Wha-, wife?”

Russell produced a popping sound with his lips like the noise of a bottle when the cork was pulled. Welp, this bottle was surely open now.

“Yup, got married in Thailand in 2011,” he added another helpful tidbit of information, but Colter’s jaw dislodged all the same.

“Alright, got this all figured out,” you said, sauntering back into the kitchen with a pastel pink towel wrapped around your head and a matching bathrobe. You’d just grabbed them from the dryer, the fluffy material still cozily warm. It was the best option, considering you didn’t want to mess around with your wig as well after popping the lenses back in had already cost you most of your patience. In your little bubble of bliss, you hadn’t instantly noticed the brothers staring at you. But once you did, your brows morphed into a frown. “What’s going on?”

“You two are married?” Colter asked, a pointed finger flicking from Russell to you.

You threw your arms up, looking at your husband. “I was gone for five minutes! What happened to telling him after the operation?”

Russell offered you a sheepish shrug. “Well, this old soldier’s getting weak too, apparently.”

“He said it like a joke…” Colter mumbled, still in the middle of processing this new revelation. His older, estranged-but-now-less-strange brother had a wife. A family. Friends. And he knew none of it. What else was there? Kids?

“Yeah, he does that...” You shot your husband a scolding sideways look. “Should I leave you two alone for this?” you then offered, hoping the answer was a goddamn yes.

“Why would you? You’re family, right?” Colter retorted with a dry smile and a sharp look.

You pursed your lips. While you could see some similarities between the brothers, you took note of one big difference: Russell wasn’t as sarcastic and sharp-tongued. Probably because Russell had always been more concerned with what he should, would, or could share with people in an overthinking loop, while his younger brother seemed obviously free of that burden.

“Don’t take it out on her,” Russell stepped in gently, which really was a warning. “She didn’t know about any of this. Kinda pushed her into it.”

“Seems to be your style,” Colter scoffed.

“Can’t work for the CIA without going through a baptism of fire, little brother,” Russell said simply, giving an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders.

“Why would you not tell me?” Colter stared at him, his look a mix of reproach and agitation.

“Look, you weren’t exactly welcoming during our first meeting,” Russell argued with a bit of bark in his deep voice, although confrontation was probably not the best approach. But why should he always have to take the blame for everything? He’d already done that for more than two decades.

“That was months ago,” Colter countered, scowling. “I’d like to think I’ve come around since then… Coulda told me after we saved Doug.”

Russell let out a small sigh of defeat, rolling his eyes back slightly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, man, alright?” he apologized earnestly.

With a questioning brow, you carefully nudged your husband’s arm. “What happened to Doug? Is he alright?”

“Yeah, uh, he went to work for Horizon with me. I’ll tell you later, okay?” Russell replied, his voice a lot quieter as if sharing a secret, and if Horizon was involved he probably was.

“Is Tracy okay?”

“She’s fine. Little shook up. You should probably give her a call. Smooth things out,” Russell told you.

Tracy thought you worked in marketing at some company for the government. Whenever you, Russell, and Doug were stuck on a mission, the boys made you call her to “smooth things out” – aka reassuring her everything was certainly fine with her husband and he wasn't in any danger at all. They’d once made you call her from a Black Hawk. The noise had been fun to explain away – you’d told her you were picking up a client from a helicopter pad.

Colter chewed on the insides of his cheeks. “So she knows Doug, too?”

Russell nodded. “Yeah, me and Doug were mostly Delta, but SAD liked to borrow us from time to time. We ran in her team for quite a while. She was actually the one who recruited me.”

At his little wink your way, you smiled. He’d come along way from the sweet boy you had once teased like a special-forces-trained kindergartner.

“Listen, things were obviously a little complicated between me and her the last few years,” Russell (under)stated. “But I’ve brought you here for a reason, okay? Figured it’s time you meet your sister-in-law.”

Eyes drifting from you to Russell, Colter pursed his lips – a tell he shared with his brother.

“Are you mad? I can’t tell.” Frowning, Russell tilted his head.

“No,” you absentmindedly replied for Colter, who gave you a curious look but steered his attention back to Russell.

“No,” the younger Shaw repeated your assumption. “I mean, not more than I was before, you know?”

Russell’s creases only deepened. “No, I don’t know.”

“He means he’s indifferent about knowing or not knowing we’re married because he’s already pissed about not knowing about my existence in general,” you explained.

“Ah. Your nerd is showing, sweetheart,” Russell teased you with a smile that made your heart melt.

“Dory would like her,” Colter commented like the thought had just popped into his head – something else he didn’t share with his brother.

You’d always wondered about the youngest Shaw of the three. Russell could never tell you much about Dory. His memory had been one of a smart and feisty nine-year-old, not a young woman and physics professor.

Thumbing at you, Russell cocked a brow at his brother. “Is she right, though?”

“Spot on, actually.” Colter’s tongue poked his cheek, his gaze flickering with a hint of astonishment and new-found respect for you. “And I guess I’m not really mad either way. Just… surprising, you know? I should’ve asked. That’s on me.”

Russell seemed more than a little baffled to hear this, considering he had to pause to find an appropriate response. “No, uh, we’re good. I could’ve just told you, anyways.”

“Yeah, no, that’s alright.” Colter swallowed, sending his older brother a smile of forgiveness. “Honestly, I was glad to hear you weren’t alone all this time, so…”

Russell’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he pushed down the lump in his throat. With a nod, he averted his green eyes to the kitchen floor. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”

“Aw, aren’t you guys adorable,” you teased.

Colter wanted to retort something dry-witted, but Russell held up a warning finger. “Ah – wait for it… Trust me. She’s not done.”

“You girls need tissues or a tampon, maybe?”

“Oh, Dory would definitely like her,” Colter repeated his earlier statement with an amused grin.

Russell, on the other hand, shot you a pointed look, but that had barely ever stopped you before. “Okay, you can lay down. You don’t have to give him the initiation. No hazing my little brother,” he ordered you sternly, and you stifled a snort. “And no one better kidnaps him tonight and puts a bag over his head, alright? I don’t wanna pick him up beaten and bloody from some warehouse tomorrow morning.”

“Hm, what?” Colter’s brow furrowed. For the first time, you could see slight panic spread in his pupils.

Who was hazing who now?

You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance. “Fine, we’ll leave him alone,” you acted your capitulation.

The younger Shaw blinked at you. “Thank you?”

“Should we at least tell him about the other thing while we’re at it?” you asked Russell with a suggestive look.

Thoughtfully, he paused for a beat, then clicked his tongue. “No, I got it from here. It’s getting late. We’ve been here long enough,” he decided. “This is less becoming a friendly ‘welcome-to -the-neighborhood’ dinner and more starting to look like an orgy to the neighbors. Especially since you’ve put on the robe.”

“It just came from the dryer. Look, it’s so soft and warm,” you argued, pouting, your palms caressing the fluffy material on your arms.

“Uh-huh.”

The little bob of his Adam’s apple made you grin slyly. The way his jaw ticked and his pupils widened with a primal hunger, you could tell he wanted to tear that robe right off of you. The thought caused a shudder to run down your spine.

“What, uh, other thing do you have to tell me?” Colter asked and smiled expectantly, tapping his fingers on the the counter.

Russell, however, grabbed his arm and dragged his curious little brother toward the exit. “I’ll tell you in the car,” he said and thumbed to the front door behind his shoulder. “Wait outside. Gimme five minutes, alright?”

Wordlessly, Colter nodded without argument, gave you a quick goodbye-wave of his hand, and strolled leisurely back to his car as if he knew exactly what his older brother intended to do.

As expected, Russell impatiently conquered your lips, roughly pressing you against the foyer’s wall, your arms draping around his neck.

“What’s the bedroom situation in this place?” he asked between kisses.

“First floor, west side, third window from the right. I’ll leave it unlatched,” you replied, smiling against his lips. “Tom’s always sleeping on the couch. Part of our cover is going to marriage counseling with Pastor Jeff, which happens to work out great for us.”

You exhaled a shuddered breath when one of his hands wandered past the robe and splayed warm against your ribcage, just underneath your breast. His thumb fought an itch to get closer.

“Wouldn’t do that, baby,” you murmured into his ear with an amused smirk. “That boner’s not gonna go away in five minutes.”

“Mmm, I know,” he groaned and dropped his head between your boobs, lips pressing a chaste kiss to your collarbone. If he continued on with this, your arousal would surely streak down your bare thighs soon. Luckily, he had mercy on the both of you. “I’ll talk to him and then come back, okay?”

You nodded with a smile. He kissed your lips, then your forehead, and then disappeared through the door with the same cometary velocity he had entered your vision.

And all you could do was hope you’d see him one more time in your life.

“So?”

4.3 seconds after Colter killed the engine of his pickup in a spot a block away to the west side of your house – as per Russell’s very specific instruction – he stared scrutinizingly at his older brother.

Impatience was also a family trait – one even their father had despised.

“Look, uhm, there’s no easy way to break the news…”

“Is this about you having two kids?”

When Russell’s eyes met Colter’s, he didn’t recognize any anger, hurt or resentment in them – just pure slyness. At least that was good news. His little brother was just going to be annoying about this whole thing.

“Yeah, remember those five minutes you left me alone in the car? I called Bobby. Had him check some things out for me. Wasn’t easy to find. I’ll give you that…”

As expected, Colter was going to be a smartass about it. He figured it out on his own. He won the game.

“Hmm.” Russell pursed his lips, nodding. “You do know the CIA is on your guy’s ass now, right? Shouldn’t have done it in their perimeter, man. Manny’s probably all over this by now…”

Then his brow knit as if the thought of his old friend had provoked an idea, his head tilting with narrowed eyes at the air vents on the dashboard. How long had that car been parked outside and out of sight again?

Like a game of Operation, Russell then used thumb and pointer finger as his tweezers to retrieve a tiny bug – the spy kind.

“Gotcha,” Russell muttered, smirking. He then held the bug close to the speakers of the radio before turning up the volume to its highest setting – only for a second. He switched the radio off, rolled down the window, and threw the unwanted listening device onto the pavement. “That should teach ‘em a lesson…”

Colter cocked an incredulous brow at his brother. “They bugged my car?”

“Oh, trust me, they bug anything they can get their greedy little hands on,” Russell retorted. “Would probably check for a tracker underneath, too.”

“Great, thanks,” Colter huffed wryly.

“Hey, you wanted in. That’s what they do,” Russell reminded him, shrugging, but there was a smile of amusement on his lips.

Colter only bobbed his head. “So, you and her? You guys are good now? Just like that? Seemed… easy. Sorta…”

Russell chuckled lightly, brushing a hand through his beard. He knew his relationship with you was unconventional, but it had always worked for you and him.

“Me and Y/N have a deal, you know? It’s not all black and white. I mean, we became aware a long time ago that the two of us operate in a lot of gray zones. But, uh, we always know we can rely on each other, you know? Doesn’t matter if we’ve been separated by time or space,” Russell explained to the best of his abilities.

“So what happened?” Colter prompted with the same amount of confusion. “Why did you guys split up? I saw on the birth certificate your daughter was only two years old. I mean, did you-… did you even know?”

Russell inhaled deeply, nodding. “I knew she was pregnant. When she told me back then, I-…” He paused, licking his lips. It wasn’t something he had ever talked about with anyone before – not even you. “Well, shortly after that, I had a breakdown and I-… I almost hurt her.” He choked on the words, fighting the sting in his eyes.

He’d tried so hard to forget, wasn’t even sure he had ever really apologized for it to you because he so badly didn’t want it to exist that he’d tried to wish it out of literal existence, and hence, never really blamed you for leaving like you did. He understood. In fact, he had even wished you’d leave. He had convinced himself you’d be better off without him – something he still believed to be true – but he also knew he wasn’t better off without you.

He’d been lost and alone. And maybe, he was being selfish by crashing back into your life now. Or Dory’s. And Colter’s.

“I mean, nothing ever really bad happened. It’s just-… That night I came scarily close,” Russell confessed, swallowing thickly. He still hated himself for that night and everything that followed. “It’s like a switch flipped, you know? I couldn’t do anything against it… And Lewis saw parts of it, and I was already impatient with him and short with her the weeks before, so I just left that night and disappeared for two months. Volunteered for some mission. Figured it was best for everybody.”

It’s better off if he never comes back…

Russell licked his chapped lips. The next part was the hardest.

“When I got back, she told me she got a job offer in another country, and that she would be taking it and taking Lewis with her. She wanted me to use the time to… I don’t know… solve this, I guess.” He let out a humorless scoff at the painful memory.

Russell hadn’t seen it at first, maybe because he hadn’t wanted to, his anger and pain blurring the truth. After his son had been born, Russell knew you could see him struggling, so you started digging deeper into his family and what really happened. And when you’d found something – Horizon – you’d told him you could infiltrate. Naturally, Russell had passed a hard no – it had been a five-hour long fight, but he'd emerged victoriously by the end. So, you’d told him he should do it, but he didn’t want to leave you, and he didn’t want to endanger and jeopardize his family.

He’d told he was fine, but he wasn’t. It kept gnawing on him – and gnawing and gnawing and gnawing… till you eventually pulled the plug and ended his suffering.

“I was exhausted, so I told her we’d talk about it in the morning. When I woke up, they were gone. Didn’t even notice she’d already packed.”

Colter was silent for a beat. “Was it PTSD or something?”

“Or somethin’,” replied Russell.

“But you’re good now?” Colter checked with a warily raised brow.

“Guess so…”

Truthfully, Russell didn’t know if he was or wasn’t. He’d tried hard to figure out what it was exactly that had set him off that night and fix it, but he didn’t know if that feeling would ever disappear for good. He just knew he had never felt that way again since then. But could he guarantee it would never come back?

He didn’t know.

“Look, all I know is, seeing you and Dory again helped, so…” Russell twitched his shoulders and sighed. He didn’t know what else to say, how to explain it better, but Colter seemed to understand anyway, reading between the lines.

Russell worried he’d be like their father.

“I think I get it.” The younger Shaw nodded and licked his lips. “You know, you’re not crazy like Dad was, Russ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re crazy in your own way, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff.”

“Well, thanks,” Russell said, not convinced but appreciative of the vote of confidence. “Makes at least one of us…”

“I-, uh, I noticed their names,��� Colter then said and clarified, “Lewis and Amelia. Like explorers. Like us.”

“Ah.” Russell smacked his lips and brushed it off, “Wasn’t really my idea. I told Y/N that story once. Guess she took a liking to it..”

“Are you, you know, gonna tell Mom?”

Russell was almost surprised by the question. The brothers had barely talked about their mother since they’d reconnected. Considering Colter had never brought her up again after their first meeting, Russell figured there was a reason for that – and he thought he probably knew the reason, too.

Russell scoffed a chuckle and looked at his little brother with an almost incredulous look. “I think you can guess the answer to that one,” he replied and figured it said enough. “Did you tell her I came back?”

Colter pursed his lips, and Russell took it as a sign of admission. So his mother knew. Great…

“Sorta,” Colter admitted hesitantly.

“What d’she say?” Russell almost smiled out of amusement. He already knew the answer, but his brother still seemed reluctant. “C’mon, you can tell me. I’m not gonna be butthurt after twenty years…”

“She told me to ignore you,” Colter finally confessed, but the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. They had ever since his mother said them, but even more so now that he knew his brother – and parts of the truth.

“Hmm,” Russell hummed with tight lips and ground his jaw.

Granted, the confession stung more than Russell would ever be willing to admit. The tiny, naive part inside of him had constructed a hopeless fantasy of his mother having a sudden change of heart over the last two decades and happily welcoming her firstborn back. Apparently, not a thing had changed, though, and he cursed himself for feeling disheartened.

“But I actually haven’t talked to her in a while now,” Colter added with a small shrug, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Huh, really?”

“Yeah, uh, and when I did, I didn’t exactly tell her I didn’t take her advice, you know? So…”

“Why not?” Russell’s brow furrowed a little more as he analyzed each word, simultaneously realizing why he had been so reluctant to share his life with Colter before – his subconscious had been afraid his alienated little brother would report back to the mothership.

Colter’s lips pursed. “Because I disagree.”

“Ah.”

Colter chewed on his lower lip. “Look, I know you and Dory wanna keep all of this in the past and play family – and trust me, I want that too,” he assured, but his heart was beating fast in his chest. “But I need to know, man. I need to know why she lied about this for twenty years and, you know, did all of this,” he insisted, and yet, Russell could tell he wasn’t done. He might have broken the dam. “She did it to you. I mean, aren’t you mad?”

“Of course I’m mad,” the older Shaw admitted, but there was no fire behind his words.

“Then why are you so calm?”

Amused, Russell chuckled, shrugging. “Probably ‘cause I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you, little brother.”

“So, what are we gonna do now?”

“We ain’t gonna do anything,” Russell clarified, his voice stern. He’d die to protect his family, you and the kids, and do anything in his power to keep you out of it, but Colter was a grown-up – a free agent. If he didn’t want to listen, Russell couldn’t force him. “Look, you wanna find out, you go find out. And if you do find something and need help, you call. But I can’t be involved in this,” he explained, his firm expression morphing into something more vulnerable and sincere. “And frankly, I don’t care that much. You, me, Dory, Y/N, the kids – that’s all that matters, trust me. You’re not gonna feel better or more… whole after finding those answers.”

“How do you know? Do you know what really happened?” Colter instantly asked, and Russell knew in that moment, it’d be hopeless. His brother wouldn’t stop till he found it – forever restless.

“No, I told you. I don’t,” Russell repeated, and while he didn’t know everything, he omitted that he knew something.

“What about Y/N?”

Russell froze at the bare mention of your name, his protective instincts kicking in. “Leave her out of this,” he all but snarled.

But Colter didn’t think about stopping. “Did you ever ask her? I mean, she’s CIA. She could probably find out something, right?”

“Yeah, I asked her once, alright? Was a long time ago,” Russell admitted, sighing. The intended lie would stick better if there was some truth to it – you had taught him that.

“C’mon, Russ… And?” Colter impatiently threw his arms up, brow raising higher and higher as he waited for an answer.

“She never found anything,” Russell said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

This time, it wasn’t just an omission. It was a blatant lie.

“I think whatever Dad was involved in – or both of ‘em – was just some activist shit. I don’t think the government cares.” Lie. “We both know he had a mental thing. Paranoid, probably schizophrenic… I mean, Mom used to pump him full of meds sometimes when he got too out of hand.” Truth. He then stole a glance at his little brother and saw the confusion shimmering on his face. Russell scoffed. “You didn’t know that, did you?”

Quietly, Colter shook his head.

“Well, you were a kid,” Russell said and hoped it would curb the blow slightly, although he knew better than that. “He always took something as far back as I can remember. She used to prepare his pills every evening after you and Dory went to bed. But when we moved to the cabin, he started refusing to take them. Said they made him ‘not clear-headed enough.’ Kinda ironic,” he shared and snorted. “When it got too bad, though, she’d still crush ‘em into his food.”

Colter took everything in with a nod but didn’t say anything more.

“You good over there?” Russell checked after a full minute had passed.

“Yeah,” Colter said and even tried to form a reassuring smile before the attempt failed. Instead, he swallowed. “Just a lot, you know? I didn’t know. I mean, I had some idea, but not-… not that.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Russell said, his voice almost a whisper in the silence of the night. “Like I said, you were a kid…”

When Russell finally left the car to sneak back to you, his shoulders felt a little lighter and his heart a little calmer. He might just float through that unlatched window tonight.

The bad news was, though, he might not be able to retire just yet.

Part 5: This Is a Start

Honestly, I should've called this chapter "Heart-to-Heart Part II" 😂 I'll see you for the finale next week, but as you know, it's not the end for them – only just the beginning 😉

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