#god im just so angry and upset
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the urge to tell this fucking piece of shit that just came with his dog to leave immediately and let me keep that poor baby was so strong i could hardly contain myself
#he came on wednesday with the dog STARVED and full of infected wounds because he left him alone for TWENTY FUCKING DAYS!!!!! locked in a#cement cage#TWENTY DAYS ALONE#and the dude just said idk i left him alone and found him like this :/#the infection was so big it was literally coming out from between his paws#massive wounds all over#he just came in for a revision and like okay the dog was doing 'better' as in. not starved for 20 days#but the poor babies skin was rooting and full of poop because clearly he wasn't cleaning them#like im honestly so fucking pissed right now the dog was so well behaved and didn't even complain once when we were cleaning the wounds#we gave him a bowl full of food and he was like. afraid to eat???#he ate it all but oh my god... broke my heart to see him so guilty to eat#when we went to take him outside the receptionist gave him a treat but he didn't eat it#and the guy was like yeah hes such a weird dog he never eats anything not even a steak#fucking asshole i don't even want to imagine what you did for that poor dog to not eat anything in front of you#he also peed himself when he handed him back bc he's so afraid of the owner#god i seriously wish i could tell him to let me take the dog so i can take him with me#he weighted 29kg when a german shepherd should be more than 40kg#god im just so angry and upset
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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Dear transmascs,
I love y'all, I appreciate your posts and find solidarity in your struggles. But please, PLEASE could you acknowledge that some (many) trans people who don't identify as transmasc share in the same struggles? Please could you acknowledge non-transmasc (afab) non-binary/genderqueer people in your posts that also affect them once in a while? Could you please NOT co-opt the death of a NON-BINARY trans person to talk about how transmascs are oppressed for being transmasculine? Like, yes, there are overlaps between transandrophobia and enbyphobia (and transmisogyny) and these are important to talk about but please realise that you can do this WITHOUT erasing non-binary people who do not identify as transmasc.
Idk maybe this seems like a non-issue to a lot of people but it's honestly deeply fucking upsetting to me, as an (afab) genderqueer person. I'm not saying you have to make all posts about transmasc people about non-binary people as well but please just. When something is ABOUT a non-binary person and that person doesn't explicitly identify as transmasc, please, please don't erase their identity and make it ONLY about the experience of being transmasc??
I'm so fucking tired.
Signed,
A genderqueer person
(btw if you come on this post being shitty about transmascs or talking about how transandrophobia isn't real or whatever, you're getting an instant block. This ain't about that, transandrophobia is real but so is enbyphobia/exorsexism.)
#ugh please don't fucking discourse on this post#but like#i see this shit all the time and mostly it's whatever#but I just saw a post doing this for that non-binary teenager who got killed#the poster acknowledged that they don't even know if they identified as transmasc or not#but still continued to use transmasc 'as an umbrella term'#please can you fucking not god#like you can talk about the overlap and how non-binary people are also affected by transandrophobia#without assuming all of them are transmasc/erasing the ones that aren't#sometimes! it's ok to say afab trans people!!#i know it gets used in a misgendering way sometimes but guess what? calling nb people transmasc when they're NOT#is ALSO MISGENDERING#im trying not to be bc i don't want to upset ppl but im so angry I'm sorry#trans stuff
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when i think about the fact that dazai was the one who chose the location of the safe house for oda’s orphans i feel the need to walk into traffic
and then this was just straight up AURA. not to mention that mori is witnessing dazai experience the emotion he needed him to in order to fully calculate his potential as his successor. it’s a no brainer that dazai can lead an organisation but before oda i don’t think mori ever witnessed dazai serve to protect something or do something that didn’t benefit him (mori is a slave to the organisation as much as he is its figurehead as he explains, this shows him that dazai has the full potential he needs him to have. and hence why he keeps his executive seat open without replacement because dazai joining the agency to protect people and thus, the city, only furthers this point for him)
#he was so angry here and that’s what gets me is that we see in the day i picked up dazai side b#what anger is like for him. we see in dark era the depth of his sadness and his detachment to living#and we see here how his anger manifests after learning he’s been betrayed by someone that he trusted and that that betrayal#hurt someone he cares about and has put them in danger. dazai’s friendship with oda was exploited without him even realising it#dazai was exploited many many times at mori’s hands but more on that another time im just. god#it’s too much#it hurts so bad to think about him like this#he’s so angry and so upset that he physically cannot articulate it how he normally would without a doubt#and i’m 🫵‼️ FUCK OUGAI MORI ALL MY HOMIES HATE OUGAI MORI#anyway sorry.#tbd.#should point out TRUST is a long way to go for dazai n mori but to some extent this is a betrayal of his trust#this is the one thing mori didn’t include him on and worked it under his nose for 2 years#like not only has ango betrayed him here but so has mori and that IS trust#anyways#⸌ ⋆ ooc.
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watching old stuff (like, beginning of aew) and this is kips first match of tv/dynamite. the fact that he can hang with the fucking elite says so much of the level of talent he actually has
the crowd is chanting "this is awesome" while hes in the ring, having winning offense against matt jackson
hes being put on notice here. he makes people take a double take. he doing well in a tag match against the elite. he had a banger before with hangman. he won the first ever singles match in aew history
so fucking by god tell me why is kip sabian still overlook, under rated as all hell and not given opportunities to prove himself when back FOUR YEARS AGO he was this fucking good and now hes even better
#fuck it im tagging it im tired im angry fucking hell#kip sabian#IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS CONVERSATION GOD GET TK ON THE PHONE I WILL YELL AT HIM#like. what fucking gives. what the fuck#i get it he got dealt with few bad cards (jh. miro. injury with long recovery. personal stuff) but still#they completely fucking halted his progress after his initial return. discarded a character with HUGE potential#after he lost to oc all of it went to hell and down the drain and now they just arent using him#do you understand what this does to a fan. like do you get it at all#do you know how fucking irrationally upset and scared i am that aew will just not only cut him from programming but also let him go#because they dont think hes a draw. cause they arent giving him a chance. not even a single one. maybe once in a blue moon#but its not enough. they dont understand what they are missing. and its making me sad and upset and angry#when hes tried so fucking hard and worked so fucking hard and always been so fucking good but they dont see it#god sorry this match got to me but i fucking mean every fucking word god#box thoughts
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im so close to outright fuckin beggin my mom to get a divorce at this rate i cant deal with my fathers narcissistic asshole behavior anymore
#we're both fucking exhausted but here he is calling us at 10:30 at night despite knowing for 30 years my mom goes to bed at 9#talking to him is a cyclical fucking nightmare and his demands are insane#btw i know that narcissistic people arent inherently abusive#and that its pathologized yadayadayada. no hes one of the narcisisstic abusers. like every fucking bill#and yes its bc of fear but i dont fucking care. im afraid and angry all the time and you still dont see me treating my loved ones like dirt#everything is about him and he can do nothing wrong and he knows everything and if you dont adhere to h8s schedule#he calls you a dramatic bab#y#but then will fly into a screaming rage and call you a motherfucker and a waste of space and a lazy piece of shit if u dont cater to him#or get anything wrong#vent#also his demands are fucking insane like no im not getting another fucking dishrack for my roommates to be seperate#ik you keep your towels seperate from everyone elses but no im not doing that#bc im not a goddamn fucking pansy who lets my ocd control me like you you fucking freak#god i wish i could kill you just so you can never make my mom upset ever again
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apparently I’m the most incorrect doctor who fan of all time bc I just watched silence in the library and forest of the dead and I fucking hated it. actually the first ep was mostly fine but the second one I didn’t care for. River Song fills me with fucking rage god I genuinely can’t stand her character. she was so annoying. and the fact that she’s probably gonna come back??? I wanna scream. but I looked up the eps to see if other people liked them and apparently they’re like beloved episodes. yikes for me. also ig this was like moffat introing what his writing for doctor who was gonna be like so I’m not looking forward to it now I’m kinda afraid I’m not gonna enjoy his style. and I loved a lot of things within the episodes and I agree with a lot of the points people praised, but I left the episode really unhappy. I think I just really like what the first few seasons have been and the stuff next just might not be my vibe which is disappointing bc I’ve really really loved finally watching Doctor who. I think it’s so funny to post my takes on this shit like fifteen years too late lmao. anyway I’m probably gonna get unfollowed by fellow doctor who fans for this sorry guys. but also if you disliked these episodes hit me up so I feel validated you’re correct and I love you.
#I mean part of it might be that I’m just really attracted to rose and ten and I don’t care to see him with this other lady#and I tend to dislike river songs character type#sorry girl#so I’m just so upset at the thought of them together#look im a sentimental person and I get attached to characters#obv doctor who is gonna be difficult I know what I got myself into#but I’m just mad this random lady is here#it feels forced and like I should just automatically like her#but I don’t care for her#god I had to get this out I’m so angry from#those eps#doctor who#sorry doctor who fans#the tenth doctor
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how i feel about TBYS causing a shockwave effect of everyone dogpiling on and harassing Illymation and spreading extremely easily disprovable and malicious misinformation about her and putting her in a lot of danger for literally no legitimate reason
#big rant in the tags incoming hold on to your hats:#i swear drama commentary youtubers are actually some of the most dense people on the fucking planet#like holy SHIT i have never seen a bigger display of collective stupidity than every drama commentary grifter harping on illy based on shit#-she didn't even say that they heard from a guy who sounds like budget ben shapiro. how are you that dense. like how. actually how.#it's just a big stupid game of idiot telephone with how much basic shit people are getting wrong because they heard it whispered from-#-another person. istg if i have to see ONE more person say that ''oh but she's encouraging obesity'' ''oh but she said [thing she literally#-didn't say]!!!'' im going to SCREAM. i am going to throw my phone against the wall if i see one more malicious misinterpretation of a-#-basic statement that even a fucking doorknob could understand with more grace and nuance than these idiots#i swear to god this is all so STUPID#drama commentary youtube is where basic reading comprehension and common sense go to die. it is the 10th circle of internet hell-#-just below 4chan.#anyway rant over glad i got that out of my system.#i hope illy is doing well and that she and her partner and her cats are safe <3#sorry for being so angry. this whole situation literally makes my blood boil and i'm so upset that an innocent person got put in danger-#-because of some nerd emoji sounding wackass blatantly lying about her and being a dickhead#this is the first and last post i'll ever make about internet drama (unless something really REALLY funny happens) i just needed an outlet-#-to scream into for a few minutes#drama commentary youtubers delete their entire channels and leave the internet right now challenge#shitpost#youtube drama
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my parents are putting my dog down tomorrow
#vent#but#im a thousand miles away and i CANT DO ANYTHING and#its been a long time coming -ive had him since i was 6 - but im not just upset im honestly angry/frustrated#he took a turn for the worst LAST APRIL and my mom texted me basically after the fact bc they thought they were gonna put him down then#but he was put on a new medication bc i was going to be back for the summer soon so it was just to 'hold him over' til then#then a few times over the summer i asked when we were going to put him down and everyone got upset with me bc he was 'fine now'#at christmas my grandma said 'this is probably the last time you'll get to see him'. jesus christ#now i dont get to say goodbye bc my family was too selfish to follow through on THEIR words#god.
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soooo work fired me for going to the hospital like literally told me that because i did a no-call no-show (untrue, i LITERALLY emailed them that i was in the hospital/recovering from a horrific panic attack and didn’t receive an answer lol) i was terminated although i was a “phenomenal employee”
i’m gonna make a formal dono post tomorrow but i definitely am gonna need help making rent this month so uhhh v3nm0 and c4sh4pp are both deadtower, p4yp4l is as well but they froze my p4yp4l for the moment because they thought my sales from my hiring book were suspicious and i’m working on getting it fixed so feel free to send it there too i guess?
i need uhhh i think 500 by the end of the month to take care of rent and utilities
#i’m so upset and angry but two coworkers from there that i know personally said it fucking sucks there#and that they’re angry for me but not surprised#i’m so fucking furious i have no idea what the fuck to do#ive applied to about 60 places the past few days im hoping some get back to me by next week#i do have two interviews tomorrow im just like in the throes of such an awful panic attack in terrified to bomb them#anything helps. anything#like i said ill make a formal post tomorrow when i can handle it emotionally#but for now. god
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I just learned something so incredibly fucked up
#i am trembling#i cannot let this enable my issues with paranoia further! haha! oh my fucking god#im not joking btw im literally physically trembling. how did this happen oh god oh GOD nononono dont let it get to you#i just need to know. was someone like. double dealing? was someone telling him about it#i wouldnt give a shit if they were stalking me online occasionally (well id care a little bit but honestly itd just be kinda fucked)#but if someone was telling him about me and my personal stuff?#stop. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to think it happened. i have to get this out of my head#but still. absolutely fucking deranged.#ESPECIALLY bc apparently he's been saying i “made him think he was abusive'' and that doing that was shitty of me bc he actually#just has bpd??????#sol if you're reading this listen closely: one of my best friends has bpd. diagnosed and everything. so shut the fuck up#much like you've been saying i blamed my adhd for being neglectful (read: not meeting your sky-high standards for Truly Loving You 24/7)#you cannot blame your bpd for what a shit person you've been#repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick#get a life‚ learn to care about other people away from what they can do for YOU‚#and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.#p.s. imagine being mad that people who were friends with both you and your partner didnt suddenly cut the other one off after you broke up#like actually angry at these people. what the actual fuck. you're like a divorced parent upset that their child still talks to their ex-wife#my posts
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#vent#putting this here on main where less ppl involved will see bcs i just don't want that attention#(dots to hidr if ppl don't want to see this)#...........................................................................................................................................#.............................#..............#just stop. please im begging everyone to just stop. im begging everyone to just stop.#i get im not at all part if the people that ate effected by this im not at all but god please this is such a big game of#bad telephone and lack of one on one communication that didn't need to be made public#please i dont want to be unfollowing so many people please#are we going to enter an era of be careful whos posts you like or reblog bcs its part of 'the erong side'?#its selfish of me i know its so fucking selfish of me to be begging for this to stop but please#please the person has made an apology. the frustrations of everyone has been made and heard#im just begging everyone please just please don't make this something thats going to haunt this#fandom and community for weeks or months or forever#please goddamit please i enjoy so many people that have been just a part of this or been rebloging things about this and#i get it i get that this is upsetting that shit didn't go how anyone wanted but please i dont want go unfollow some of you#why is everything going to shit#why is everything falling apart#its so selfish of me to be this upset about this. its so messy on both sides everything about thos is so messy but god damnit why WHY#are we making this something so big#its selfish of me to say but please god please i come here to escape. i come here to have fun. im in these discords to have fun.#i have so much fun here and now everyone is just angry#i just wanted to reblog some cute art that came on my dash. i just wanted to eish someone well after seeing they needed space#i don't want to be so on edge about who i “should and shouldn't” interact with#everything went to shit for me. yhen it got better. then back to shit. and finally it was getting better and now its all went to shit again#but this time its everyone everywhere and in escapable#the only awnser is to just log on. disappear for s while. but god i just vame bsck i JUST came back and god i just want yhis all to stop.
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The only reason I haven't actually relapsed is the blades are too dull...
#ofc im ashamed but i got so upset the other night that i banged my head on the table#i've tried rubber bands but it's just not the same so doesn't really work#i hate that i want to cause myself pain#even though i sometimes look at my arms & legs and hate myself for what ive done there are times where im like they're just part of who i am#god i feel so pathetic#sometimes i wonder if there's something else wrong with me besides my mental disorders#i mean sometimes it's not even about being depressed but rather wanting to just rip my own skin off because it feels wrong#sometimes everything is just too much and i become anxious & angry#bpd#depression#anxiety#mental health#self harm#self destructive behavior#dividesproblems
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So sick and tired of living in a place where I can't get jack shit past 7pm
#i am sad and angry and just want a fucking milkshake but noOOOOooo#McDonald's is the only place open and they can fuck way the hell off#i think perhaps i may also be disregulated based on these tags#but honestly i cant care anymore im just so god damn angry and upset fuck literally everything
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how do you ask your roommate to leave surfaces generally in a clean and working order. not even talking about clutter but like oil and grime and shit
#he is my age. at the throats of parents who dont teach their male children to clean#god knows im not perfect at this but at least i have immense social anxiety about putting my own obstructive messes in front of other peopl#id like to state for the record that im not angry or upset over this . just frustrated that im doing a) more home maintenance work than him#and b) more home maintenance work than i did living on my own#and im like 2-3x as busy. get 2-3x less sleep. developing stress conditions etc etc#he does stuff when i ask him to in a good enough kinda way but also i hate asking 👍👍👍👍👍 i hate asking so fucking bad#this close to asking him to just hire a cleaning service on his weeks to clean despite the fact that he makes like almost half of what i do#augh#anyway im fine . ive been crocheting a project due at the end of the month for 4 hours straight sitting on the living room carpet#id sit on my couch but like i have a thing about touching peoples beds and hes asleep on it half the time 😭#incidentally. yes thats why im in the living room instead of my room lmaoooo#ugh ok anyway anyway. ''you live like this?'' yes sorry i just need to talk to him but our schedules are really incompatible l#and im always the one pestering him about stuff like hes never asked me to do anything . so i feel bad. this is my own fault. i know this#just need to complain somewhere because my ass is numb lol this isnt a cushiony carpet
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my grandmother went and signed me up to over ten "job search sites" without my consent and all of them were scams. i am so fucking upset right now. i explained to her that you seriously cant go doing that and that all of it was information stealing scammy bullshit, and she hasn't texted back yet but im so. fucking. upset.
#crypt talk#shes computer illiterate generally and so naiive#she has been her entire life#but EVERY time something like this happens and I tell her how dangerous it is and get angry that my personal information is out there now#SHE LAUGHS! AND TELLS ME IM BEING PARANOID!#she made a post under my name on CRAIGSLIST to look for a roommate for me once?!#god i feel outright violated i am so upset.#she means well she really really does but she does not give a single FUCK about consent or other peoples requests#shes always been selfish and spoiled and as she gets older shes gotten way fucking worse#shes also off her meds which she *did herself without telling docs* so half of this could literally be mania#and shes told me flat out that if she doesn't like what someone says she just ignores it or blows them off#like fuck you fuck you fuck you#god!!!!!!
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