#god im genuinely so fucking sam ok??

[blacknidstang]

I've been planning for ages to make dreamwidth account but knowing it doesn't have builtin reblog option makes it super depressing for me ngl. I am completely programmed to reblog and add silly expressions in tags and fill my blogs with posts and webweavings and poems and pics that makes me go cuckoo. Without rb it's so sos ooo lonely and sad

[leviathanofdeath]

rotb spoilers i talk abt Noah in depth bc im autistic and its 1 am

(this is also strictly talking abt the movies)

idk bout yall, but i really like Noah and his character and the way he interacts with everything thrown at him., I really like how (because of Mirage's chill personality) he wasn't completely overwhelmed by the existence of robot aliens. sure he was freaking the hell out abt the car driving by itself but yknow he caught on pretty quickly. and this is also due to the fact that he wanted to save earth as well. and specifically he wanted to help his brother. can we talk abt the fact that he was so willing to go against his morals just to scrounge up some sort of cash to help his family. as soon as he got into Mirage he was like "I don't wanna do this" and he was trying to get out the car. I also really like the relationship Noah had with his little brother. trying to be that light in his life and give hope. doing everything just to help his little brother not be in so much pain. it was just a nice touch to show us how truly compassionate and caring Noah is and you could really feel that through the performance, imo. you can tell they've both been struggling for quite some time. you feel sorry for when Noah gets immediately rejected by that security officer, and he's completely honest and trying to explain how he deserves a second chance (and he does) and he's probably repeated those reasons a thousand times in the past. he almost completely doubts himself until his brother reiterates that they're always gonna be there together and theybcan do it. and even though it sounds unrealistic, me and my sister have said the same thing to each other so it feels all the more powerful to me. it's a completely different approach to a character in the movie series and I cannot appreciate it enough.

and can I just say, sorry to the sam likers out there, I like how Noah doesn't just immediately insult Mirage trying to save him or befriend him. they actually have a strong ass bond almost right off the bat. sam was always yelling at bee everytime bee came in to save his ass (I hated this bc bee can do no wrong ok) but when Mirage was fighting scourge all by himself JUST to buy time for Noah, literslly risking his life for Noah. literslly becoming a suit of armor for him. Noah was nearly in tears, watching mirage's optics fade becsuse they've already become so close. Noah and Mirage have the silliest banter because they just get along so well. I know it's kind of stupid to compare the two (sam/bee and noah/mirage) but my point is simply: they connect so well together and I really fucking appreciate that. we've seen it with Charlie and Bee where they genuinely care for each other and now we see it again with Noah and Mirage. its just so nice to see the two get along swimmingly. even after they save the world, Mirage meets Noah's brother and everything and Noah begins to fix Mirage up as well. showing that they've become closer after the entire incident.

and Mirage. I just gotta say he is seriously the star of the show. Pete Davidson did an amazing job with him. and Mirage's personality fits with Noah so incredibly well. They've got the same type of style, use the same slang, stuff like that, and they compliment each other. Mirage is so genuinely interested and curious about Noah that he comes off as extremely friendly, defensive, and playful. He doesn't hesitate to risk his life for Noah and he gives Noah a little gauntlet to at least keep himself safe when they're apart. he even tells Noah off the bat that he can turn into any car and be sold so Noah can have money for his family. Maybe its the fact that Mirage has been cooped up and told to stay hidden for so long that he can't help but appreciate the first person to "reawaken" him, but regardless their relationship is just extremely refreshing and nice. The way they can bounce off each other is awesome. God i love them so much honestly I can't think of a better duo than these two theyre just perfect for each other whether its platonic or more

[dani-ya-dig]

Ok now that I’m fully awake. It’s time try and organize my thoughts on that audio oh my god.

Also trigger warning for mentions of suicide under the cut

That’s actually the first thing I wanna talk about, and is the only gripe I have with the entire video. Why the fuck wasn’t mentions of suicide tagged in the description??

Like I understand the concept wasn’t dwelled on and Sam didn’t outright say “I’m gonna fucking kill myself” but he PRETTY EXPLICITLY talked about how he planned to commit suicide even if he didn’t say those words. idk “chosen morality” doesn’t seem like the right warning for that? I’m not gonna complain abt it like too much, I just was a little confused on why it wasn’t tagged.

But anyways onto my jumbled up thoughts about the actual audio! Because as a member of the Sam Collins fandom, I have thoughttsssssss!!

THIS AUDIO MADE ME SOB! I couldn’t sleep because of how sad I was over it. Sam and Darlin need to be happy just for fucking ONCE, god give them a BREAKKKKKK.

The idea of them just silently holding each other on their roof with the night sky above them, a few tears probably falling from both of them. IM DUHXSJDIJFDJFHFHJ

AND MOTHERFUCKER THE VIDEO ENDING ON “Brown. My eyes were brown” I FELL TO THE FLOOR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

On a happier note about that, I KNEW Sam’s eyes were brown. I feel like almost everyone did tbh. I’ll tell you what gave it away though, the gentle way he says “please” to Darlin in some of his audios. Automatically gave it away that he would have had the biggest brown puppy dog eyes you have ever seen in your life. I’m physically sick over it, it’s not even funny.

Now back to the thing I desperately don’t wanna think about. Sam telling Darlin that he wasn’t planning on living forever.

That’s where the dam broke for me, I started bawling. It totally makes sense, I get it and I can’t say that it’s not a choice that makes sense given that Sam never wanted to be a vampire in the first place.

Do y’all think that he was planning to watch the sunrise on his roof? Because that was my first thought and it hurt real bad. Sam finally getting to feel the sunlight after so many years of having been deprived of it, only to be ash when the sun was fully in the sky.

Also I know damn well he probably would have done it after Darlin died and that’s what hurts so bad. If Darlin chose to be a vampire I think he would happily spend however long their eternity would be by their side, but once they were gone he probably wouldn’t feel a reason to stay. Especially because if Darlin turned into a vampire the two of them probably would have completely pulled away from all mortals before that would happen.

On that note, I don’t think Darlin is gonna want to be turned. I never really thought they would, unless they were under very specific circumstances. Sam telling them to spend time in their wolf form and with their pack before deciding solidified that for me 100%. I don’t think they would be able to lose their wolf which we know is a pretty big part of shifters, talking from Milo’s audio where he breaks down worried he was never going to be able to shift again. I don’t think they would be okay with the idea of watching their friends, and their family all start to wither away and eventually die while they remain.

Now, do I think Darlin is going to want to be turned? No. Do I think the dynamic of Darlin choosing to remain mortal opens a lot of really good angst possibilities? Yes. Do I fully trust Erik to not turn them anyways? Not really no.

If I had to put a bet in for how it would happen if Darlin got turned, it would be by Quinn. Quinn would find out or catch wind of the fact that they chose not to be turned (if he didn’t already know they would chose that) and turn them anyways just to hurt them.

(I think Alexis turning them is an interesting idea to think about, from any angle but I highly doubt that’s gonna happen lmao)

All in all I genuinely think that was the only audio that has affected me that much (aside from maybe listening to the inversion for the first time??)

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 10 recap

im not gonna lie i almost waited a week to listen to this one but then i opened tumblr and saw a spoiler i think 💔

NO THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE SOME KIDDY SHOW HORROR, THAT ALWAYS GETS ME. I CANT DO IT.

a fucking clown a fucking clown i can't fucking do clowns this is worse than the mannequins i cant with this. mr bonzo if you become a reoccuring character it's genuinely so over for me

i HATE the killer clown thing this is just like the meat episodes from tma i am losing my mind. i am so fucking excited about this please keep bonzo around its scaring me so badly

COLIN'S ALIVE????? i was convinced he got gertrude'd and was hidden somewhere

listen i love celia and colin theyre both great but id really like to know whats up with alice and sam

oh colin is NOT supposed to be back thats not good at all

"i'll know it when i see it" yeah you would. you would Know™ it sam.

alice hunny please do not let romantic feelings destroy your years of avoidance and survival

ok gwen going to the statement guy makes me 100% sure the creepy clown will be reoccuring and im terrified

GWENNY GWEN GWEN GWEN GWEN GWEN GWENNY GWENNY GWEN GWEN GWEN? GWEN MY LOVE RUN PLEASE RUN GWENNY PLEASE MY LOVE PLEASE MY LOVE RUN GWENNY GWEN GET OUT OF THERE NOW GWENNY GWEN GWEN

shitting myself and we're BACK to sam and alice this is terrible i'm losing my mind

the soft "c'mere" i think i am fully on the sam & alice train now

WORMS? BUT? IT BURNED BEFORE THE JANE STUFF?

NO. NO DO NOT GO INTO THE HOLE UNDER THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM GERTRUDE OR JONATHAN OR ANYONE LISTEN TO ALICE!!!

alice is so in love with him this is so terrible for the narrative

WHAT? WHATTTTT???? WHAAAAAATTTT????? oh my god i knew it i knew they would cliffhanger us. i fucking knew it. APRIL 11TH IS SO FAR AWAY ☹️☹️☹️☹️

[emloafs]

ep by ep thoughts (ck s6ep3)

spoilers below!!!!!!! join me in my brain dump!!!! literally someone freak out about this damn show with me!!! pls!!!! these are my live thoughts on cobra kai season 6 episode 3...

Ep3:

Oh lord not a gender reveal party

Anthony mention no Anthony to be seen

Samtory just kiss already 

Daniel and Johnny being so paranoid is insane 

“Im too old for this shit” IS A GREAT LINE

Im actually really fucking sick of this show making any asian character speak in broken English like ???? i just don’t understand 

OH I SMELL A SAMTORY EPISODE

Omg court ordered slumbie by girl dad Johnny this show is absurd

I fuck with kwon leave him alone kreese

DevonS NEVER HAD A SLUMBER PARTY IM CRYING SHES TOO GOOD FOR THE WORLD

I am uncomfortable with Johnny being at the slumbie…

Ok miyagi plot sucks but we already knew it would

Yawning why isn’t Demetri in this episode miss him

Johnny ANTAGONIZING THEM I can’t

SAM AND TORY ARE SO CUTE LAUGHING WITH THE PILLOWS IM CRYING 

HONESTLY LET THEM KISS ALREADY

I could go on a whole rant but at the end of the day tory deserves healthy FRIENDSHIPS with people who are good for her, sam deserves to be friends with people with her same interests, and Devon deserves friends that are girls!!!!!!!!!! They all need each other!!! Let them all be friends !!

Johnny stealing Miguel and robby’s phones his actually quite fucked up soooooooo

“I thought you were miaygi do now” IS A LINE TO JOHNNY?????? I hate trailer editors

kwon can fuck shit up… sekai taikai winner fr

SAMTORY MAKE UP YES

Literally THANK GOD I was afraid they’d just bury all their shit but they’re FIGHTING AND TALKING AND APOLOGIZING

(This is the conversation Eli and demetri deserved in s4. Like “I can’t believe what I did to your arm” *starts crying* LIKE CMON)

Regardless samtory also deserve this moment 

SAMTORY HUG I CAN’T I CAN’T SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

Seriously get this miyagi shit out of here this is so unnecessary 

Hate to say it but kreese was better off in jail he can stop corrupting minors now

Samtory fight is HOT sorry not sorry

Devon please keep doubting Johnny he has issues

ONLY SIX FIGHTERS????????? Ohhhhh noooooooooo my prediction of demetri having to fight for a spot is very real

Sorry to say but he just is not making it over there

WAIT WHO TF IS MAKING IT TO BARCELONA?? SIX???

Its gonna be Miguel, robby, sam, tory, hawk, and Kenny because the writers hate demetri

Boy and girl captains so they can rehash sam/tory and Miguel/robby fights AGAIN? Im over this shit I nominate hawk and Devon as captains fr

Well it means you don’t all get to compete……. You bet your ass the whole dojo better be booking flights to cheer on the miyagi do 6

I have SO many feelings after this one

I genuinely don’t know who will go other than sam tory Miguel and sam

PS I just have to reiterate: NO DEMETRI??? I want a refund on ep3 I thought we were over this whole special guest thing

[diviinaee]

TALKING ABOUT THE QUINN TRILOGY OF VIDS WE GOT

obviously spoilers ahead for all 3 vids !!!

i had this post in my drafts to put my love reactions on so that's why the tenses are so fucked up LMFAOOO

tws are the same as all the videos!!

Your Cruel Vampire Ex Got Caught

FIRST OFF SAM N DARLIN TALKIN WILL ALWAYS GIVE ME SUCH HAPPINESS. THEN BEING HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER. THAT IS WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY.

oh davids calling slay

THEY WHAT.

i dont trust this shit for a SECOND BRAH

david speedin lol thas hawt

THE DEPARTMENT IS ON THE LINE ISTG THEY GETTING ON MY NERVES. if at some point we don't overthrow the government imma wore out M Y S E L F.

MR FOX? OMGGGGG (also got accused of being erik by @blutomindpretzel because earlier i mentioned foxes and wolves😝)

Henry sounds like someone who drinks expresso just enough to gain back his social cuts

YEA HENRY FUCK OFF (im so sorry Henry ik your just doing your job)

ok yall got quinn. let darlin kill him now please 😻🙏🏽

HE WHAT.

imma be so honest a part of me said, "LET HER DIE JUST FUCK HIM UP BRAH" intrusive thoughts did not slay as usual

IM SORRY? YOU WANNA BRING UP THE ETHICS OF THIS SHIT NOW? (everyone welcome philosophy student div)

SO THE VERY SYSTEM THAT WILL (W/O CONSENT REMEMBER) ERASE THE MEMORY OF UNEMPOWERED HUMANS TO MAINTAIN COVERT IS SAYING THAT USING THE VERY POWERS THEY ARE GIVEN TO FIND INFORMATION THAT COULD SAVE A LIFE IS UNETHICAL BECAUSE "HE STILL DESERVES RIGHTS"??? DAVID IS RIGHT, HE DOESN'T DESERVE THEM. HE IS A FUCKING HOMICIDAL PSYCHOPATHIC ABUSIVE SADISTIC AND MANIPULATIVE VAMPIRE.

are the rights of a murderer worth more than the life you can save. ISTG THE DEPARTMENT IS SO LUCKY THAT I DON'T EXIST IN THEIR WORLD BC I WOULD FUCKING DESTROY THEM

sigh.

oh shit the video still playing. who he wanna see?

you've gotta be fucking kidding me.

SAM? oh he's gonna mindfuck this shit all up

the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OF DARLIN OHMYGOOOD. Early Darlin would've shifted and ran to the department the moment David called. But look at them now. They are calm. Angry, but calm. They encourage Sam to talk because they realize that their want for vengeance is less important than the life they could save.

im FUCKING SCARED

Your Mate Confronts Your Cruel Vampire Ex

Sam's breath before he enters the room im alr sobbing.

HES FUCKING BRITISH

oh my fucking gawd. OH. MY. G O D .

also GBA love that. i love him.

YUHH SAM GETTIN STRAIGHT TO THE POINT

"your manners could use some work" YOUR ENTIRE PERSONALITY COULD USE SOME WORK QUINN

gba is doing such a good job like i genuinely wanna punch my phone

"i wanna get to know you" this ain't A FUCKING DATE HIJO DE SU PUTA MADRE

"i do look rather dashing in blood" lets test that theory. im gonna use a chainsaw, a bat with nails, etc. ALLÍ SI YA VEREMOS QUIEN SE RIA ENTONCES IGNORANTE HIJO DE MIERDA

FRED MENTION IN 2023 LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

nvm i hate this mention.

FREDRICK COLLINS? IM FUCKING SOBBING.

HOW DOES QUINN KNOW ABOUT SAM'S TURNING-

ALEXIS ISTG.

this girl is either dead or doesn't exist bc quinn just fucking loves talking

i wanna know what coffin you'd like quinn 😻🫶🏽

"humansblah blah blah" mf YOU WERE A HUMAN ONCE YOU STUPID DENSE IDIOT

imma be honest quinn reminds me of my ex and my darlin kinnie is FUCKING SCREAMING AND CRYING

"is her life worth less than your comfort?" ......props that's a good line.......

CAN HE STOP TALKING ABOUT FRED ICAN'T DO THIS BRO

as someone who was refused closure. yea. the worst thing a monster like quinn could do is deny them closure. FUCK. ERIK YOU BRILLIANT BITCH

darlin is dissociating so hard i can feel it

"betryal" THEY RAT YOU OUT FOR BEIN HOMICIDAL AND YOU- i need to calm down before i break this phone cause i JUST got it 2 months ago.....

ouch. erik did you text my ex for this 😝🫶🏽

comfort from the world in pain and suffering GOD.

SLOPPY SECONDS? AHORA SI LO PIDE VOY A MATAR A ESTE PINCHE HIJO DE PUTA

shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up.

QUINN. OH MY GOD HE KEEPS FUCKING TALKING.

HE WAS STALKING THEM? EWEWEWEWEWEW

"surely they've asked for it by now, knowing them" not gonna lie this activated my ptsd and i had to take a lil quirky crying break 😻🫶🏽

HIM CALLING TOWARDS THE WINDOW BC HE KNOWS DARLIN IS THERE FUCCCCCCKKKKKK I WOULD'VE PUNCHED THAT WINDOW

goddammit erik you brilliant genius.

Quinn's Aftermath

I'm alr crying and i haven't even pressed play brah.

OH THANK GOD THE ADDRESS

F U U C K THE HUG I'M CRYING

DAVID HEARD EVERYTHING? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I'M GONNA SOB I CAN'T DO THIS

"i need to get you out of here" I'm sobbing. I'm fucking sobbing. did i mention i was sobbing. cause if not, im sobbing.

CAN I JUST SAY HOW MUCH SWEETHEART IS A FUCKING MVP LIKE THEY INFORMED DAVID FIRST AND IS KEEPING THEM IN THE LOOP I FUCKING LOVE THEM

DAVID AND DARLIN HUG IM SOBBING EVEN HARDER NOW

i can feel the dissociation radiating off of darlin im still crying

"what can i do darlin" pls remove my tear ducts and give me a goddamn lobotomy/j

did i mention I've been sobbing this whole time 😝

"i thought you'd be angrier" that's dissociation for ya.

cold hatred > fiery hatred : you cannot let the rage consume you because if you do, it becomes your whole life and you can bring yourself to a position where you have no chance of moving on in the future

this audio deserves an oscar IDC THIS HELPS SO MANY PARTS OF MYSELF THAT WERE LEFT UNHEALED IM STILL SOBBING

"what he told me doesn't change us" you guessed it. sobbing.

"you are my absolute priority" I'm gonna be so honest. I had to turn off the video. I never knew that was something I needed to hear but DAMN.

HOURS? HE DUMPED THEIR TRAUMA FOR HOURS? OMFG LET ME AT HIM

the way he says that he sees darlin after knowing about their past. As someone who's been through

"What I heard, in all his rambling, was the story of a good, kind person...with an open heart... trusting a man who promised to care about them and him using that trust to hurt them." + everything after that. jesus christ um. I'm gonna rant so if you don't wanna see that skip till i says BALLS 🤪

I've been in this position of close people finding out about my past and I'm gonna be so honest. If I had someone like Sam, I don't think I would've fallen to rock bottom as hard as I did. All a victim wants is for people to understand what they went through and not think less of them. I remember the way I was talked down to and still am due to the person's knowledge of my trauma. Sam saying that he sees a fighter who got up from the amount of trauma, is something that I begged for. It's what Darlin needs. They need to see that although this is a big portion of their life, it does not reflect their person. Erik truly, once again, hit a very sensitive topic right on the bullseye.

BALLS 🤪🫶🏽

THEM BREAKING DOWN STOP IM GONNA BREAK DOWN WITH THEM.

all the listeners think crying and being anything other than happy is stupid and i RELATE

my momma bear is coming out jesus christ. THEM THINKING IT'S HUMILIATING TO LIKE THAT ASPECT? FUCK I'M GONNA SOB

[imma skip to David calling because the rest of sam and darlings talk i was just ugly sobbing]

hold on. "You're my heart darlin." "You deserve so much better than the hands life's dealt you" sobbing even more.

N E W A Y .

I FUCKING KNEW IT THAT GIRL WAS DEAD ISTG THIS IS WHY THE DEPARTMENT IS FUCKING STUPID WHY WOULD QUINN GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO SAVE SOMEONE

HE HAD PICTURES AND VIDEOS??? I'm gonna gag istg THAT SADISTIC FUCK

"he's gone quiet" he'll go quiet when i KILL HIM

fuck. man fuck what anyone says, vega, regulus, blake have nothing on quinn. VEGA YOU COULD'VE FED ON THIS BASTARD AND GOT MORE POWER THAN WHAT YOU GOT FROM IVAN

YES. YES. NO WITNESSES FOR ME TORTURING HIM FUCK YEAAAAAA.

only condition is that they're still is something to kill? I GOTCHUUU

i need William comforting Darlin. And Asher. And Milo. HELL I'LL TAKE CHRISTIAN TOO PLS I NEED MORE COMFORT.

FUCK YEAAA VAMPIRIC LAWS ARE SLAYING

KILL THE BASTARD. LET IT DIE LET IT DIE LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIIIIIEEEEEEEE

can't wait to see quinns face when he realizes the fact that darlin is gonna torture him the same way he torture them.

NOW TIME TO WATCH GUY, OLLIE, AND CAELUM BECAUSE HOLY SHIT I NEED IT

[xplrvibes]

Omg yeeeees, tell us your thoughts and opinions on the Tom Ward interview! I neeeeeeed to know.

Im going to put my opinions behind a cut because quite honestly, im going to get in trouble for something in here im sure.

So remember...opinions.

Ok, so to start, the first thing I thought was interesting about this interview was that they reached out to Tom Ward and asked to be interviewed by him.

Now, I don't know when they filmed this, but it was definitely after the controversies started, so this was definitely their way of sort of getting out there and letting a respectful debunker have a crack at them.

+1 for that. Smart move.

Now, before we even get into the Cody and Satori stuff...editing.

Are we allowed to talk about it, or shall I skip over the part where Colby explained their process as: "I'll take all the footage and cut it down, and then basically give it to another main channel main editor that we have that will do all the music, effects and all the texts and all that stuff, and then Sam kind of corrects that and manages that as well?"

😉

MOVING ON to the meat of this whole thing: snc addressing the controversy at hand.

I have to give snc props for the way they handled all of this. They came across so open and not offended by any of the questions, and did exactly what I thought they should do. They gave their opinions as best they could, while repeatedly stating, "You'll have to ask Cody and Satori that," which YES. GOD. My whole problem with this thing (besides the vitriol) this whole time has been people coming after the wrong target.

So yea, snc tried their best to debunk everything, and they couldn't. When they saw some of the stuff about Cody's past coming out, they reached out to him for clarification and he gave them an answer that they repeated. Anything farther than that is on Cody and Satori to talk about from here on out.

Hopefully, this message finally gets through some thick fucking skulls out there.

Anyway, them being open and honest about certain things - like how yes, all their info is online and, in theory, could be looked up beforehand and used against them, and yes, they did sign waivers beforehand (but on the day of) and yes, they did find some of rhe stuff that came out after to be really weird and concerning (like the Fox Sisters being frauds, or Cody's 11 year old video) really helps show that they are genuine, and just kind of along for this ride with everyone else.

There were a few things that they said that I found interesting, like the fact that the Conjuring House makes them hand over the videos prior to them being posted for a watch-througj for accuracy, and that the secret message that they were told could possibly be shared some day but they have to clear it with certain people and be respectful of peoples' privacy.

I also found the Zumiez thing hilarious for 2 reasons: 1) I legit did not know there were still Zumiez out there, and 2) Sam stated at one point that this was their first brick and mortar merch line but they had merch in Hot Topic stores back in 2019 so...wtf Sam lol.

Also, why did Colby look like he had just woken up from the best weekend nap ever? Hair all flattened down, wearing what I honestly thought was a bathrobe for the entire interview (turna out it was a jacket but ive never exactly had eyes like a hawk so whatever)...dude looked like I look on every 9am conference call I ever got forced onto.

Anyway, I give them props for this. They were charming, genuine, open, not on the defensive at all, and threw absolutely nobody under the bus, while at the same time clearing their names of any wrongdoing in this matter. They utterly charmed Tom by the end, and judging from the comments, did charm a lot of people who were on the fence about them as well.

They're never going to win everyone over, but I think doing this interview at least helped to prove that they aren't about to start getting into the scripted series category of the streamys anytime soon.

[storiesofsvu]

Im honestly not even excited for tonight based off of what ive heard already. Im more ready for grey’s cause Addison. Lol. I will be making gifs while watching to occupy myself. Nonetheless… here we go..

I really need this detective and bell to date. Pls.

Oky WHY do they continually let victims families/civilians out in the field with them?! Like this is not okay… this is not ideal, this is not legal…

“do you think we can trust him to do this?” THANK YOU AYANNA. God.

Genuinely surprised they didn’t have the building fully surrounded wtf? Like yeah the boys got there eventually but woof.

Me chanting: flirt! Flirt! Flirt! Flirt! At the queers.

Ayanna: eye fucks her

Me: YAAS.

Okay, that’s a win for this episode that’s all I care about lol

Ah yes… dorm life… because eli who canologically should be like 14 is in college…

Moving on!

Tbh based on the promo I am kinda interested in mothership tonight, lets see how that goes lol.

Okay… so the promo had me thinking that Nolan would be a major witness and sam was running point on the case the whole time so im kinda bummed.

I was distracted actually watching and also gaffing but I have 2 notes:

-hugh dancy was WAY off his eyeline mark on his “its my decision sam!” line

-loved the way sam continually called Nolan out this episode. Loved that.

Okay… Churlish *doesn’t drink* but she thinks it’s a good idea to go UC on a roofie case? Wtf girl?!

Really?! REALLY?! They had to make these fucking sleezeballs Canadian!? Fuck you.

The EXACT same moment this pricks cl phone buzzed “redhead” my phone went off with a tinder notification.. I think that’s a sign from hell… defs not opening that app

Why is her water in a plastic cup? Like, I get that we have plastic glassware at my bar but it’s not like, plastic solo cups, theyre plastic cups that look just like our glass ones and you cant tell til you pick them up.

“you don’t have to say everything you think…” LOL.

This is like, a full personal opinion, but I don’t like them wearing their badges around their necks, when they’re on the belt’s it just looks better, they don’t get in the way, but that may just be me.

Okay, again, I get the loyalty and not liking all of your coworkers (beeeelieve me there) but like, there’s a time and a place, you can still be professional and courteous while absolutely hating someone lol. These guys are all being ridiculously immature about it. (also its weird Velasco & muncy are still allowed to be partners???)

Churlish is really out there what? Trying to tie muncy to this case or shit? Again, I understand if it maybe came up a little LATER in the case but for right now you’re just going to check out that bartender, talk to him, get his story. If something doesn’t line up THEN you’d go through his socials…

Man churlish is TINY isn’t she??

Man, they are pushing veluncy way too hard for me right now. Even if it’s just friends, there’s so many looks between them and this is considering they haven’t spoken in a week or whatever? Can we pls not do this.

Churlish really went and baited herself without clearing it with anyone AND making it look like muncy was trying to set her up…

“youre saying this was her idea?” MUNCY WHAT DID CHRULISH JUST FUCKING SAY IN THE VAN?

“you slid into her dms!?” muncy’s SO fucking angry, her little hand?! HAHAHA

Man if olivia felt like she was babysitting *before* she must absolutely hate this shit now. Like…as someone who is a manager and the team used to all be in their 30’s and very unproblematic, staying in their own lanes and now my team has babies on it, it’s annoying af.

The way Bruno had that work conversation while looking like he was flirting was some *prime* acting.

There’s only 15 mins of this left… is it a two parter?

Ok so the drug is in the salt?

The black shirt grace has on looks exactly like one molly has lol

Not surprised there’s a girl involved in this to get them outta the bathrooms

Ah… the limes.. okay…good to know nothing can be trusted in bars. (although… bartender pro tip… don’t ever put the fruit into your drinks or into your mouth. A very large amount of hands touch those fruits, and who tf knows the last time they’re washed, they’re constantly touching dirty dishes, money, debit cards, etc AND a large number of places probably don’t wash their fruits…)

Aside from giving teddy her pic for bait HOW WAS SHE RECKLESS?? SHE DIDN’T FUCKING DRINK! How was she supposed to know it was the limes???

But also yeah, she does have to be there for the right reasons and work with the team otherwise it aint gonna work.

This episode was… I dunno man the vibes are off. That’s all I got.

[jackienautism]

no you are so valid for being biased against michael. i admit i do like him but my god is turnabout fair play in this case because above all else i am an emily davis girlie i was in the trenches for her back in the day and man. the takes i've seen </3 and the fact that people think they're being like, original and witty or whatever with their hate of her when really they're just repeating the same three misogynistic lines that have been repeated for nearly 10 years. i fully endorse an anti munroe sentiment on emily's behalf.

also GOD the towel. that makes me so frustrated esp when people ship her with josh after the whole?? stealing her clothes thing??? like i dont even dislike josh personally but . come on . i do like how tq kind of flipped that on its head, say what you will about its shortcomings, but at least emma got to put on clothes before getting chased around. and she got to use a taser. i think there should be an ud remake where sam gets a taser.

FGJKDDF ok im very very glad that i have your approval as a mike fan. but seriously though i cant believe this is like... still a conversation we're having. about emily, i mean. its 2023 like im so 😭😭😭 sure you dont have to like her, in fact its very valid not to like her, but most of the time theres just shitty takes and dumb misogynistic (as you said) + lowkey racist reasons to dislike her. AND ITS ALMOST ALWAYS HYPOCRITICAL TOO!!!!!! its FRUSTRATING..... and it sucks because like. she genuinely has so much going for her character wise and stuff but because shes mean and a bitch that gets thrown out the window. once again i am veryhappy to have your support, especially for emilys sake

YEAH!!! LITERALLY!!!!! like. thats the main reason why im so uncomfortable with it dfgkjfdg the best interpretation of jo////ssam imo is 2 depressed ppl just trying to get through and heal. not to say that couldnt be accomplished romantically as well but just. idk. ive talked about this before but the way their relationship came to be doesnt rly scream. romantic relationship to me? but of course im pretty biased in this sense too so fdkjnjdgj

youre so so right abt emma though... she got to put clothes on AND fuck shit up w/ a taser. give all the girls tasers tbh! but for real sam deserves to put clothes on like Not a quarter of the game later and a taser<3 she gets to use the bat i believe but the former(?) is definitely cooler

[mimi-at6]

I remember how sad you made me. I just wanted you to love me when I dont know if I even really loved you. I dont want to talk to you and apart of me hates you for leaving me and that we did not work. I am mad at the rejection not the lack of being around you. When it was good it was really good and then it would turn. I would not want to see you but I thought "maybe he will show me he loves me this time" each time my heart would get broken. Every little kiss and hug meant so much to me and I dont even know why. I am so fucking depressed. Not without you with wasting so much time in these shitty relationships that just were nothing, actually nothing. I fear judgment. I fear I am going to sound like my ex boyfriend James and start sounding despaate and psychotic. I fear im like Andrys because of how jealous I can get but its because I know someone could cheat on me. I fear im like Nick beacause he broke my heart so much I dont want to fall inlove right no. He was my like everything and I did it I made him my everything. Now sean is making me his and I dont know if I want that. Hes 45 wtf do we even have in common. He lived my life 20 years ago. He probably does not even remember. Yeah hes nice I like the way he praises me and sometimes I could see myself falling inlove with him but then like I dont fucking know because I feel like I lost myself for a long time. After that second abortion I lost apart of myself I can not get back. I lost my ignorance. I took a stand and then I met Nick and he was everything my parents wanted what I didnt even know I wanted. In the beginning i questioned if I just loved staring at his body. I hated hen he would explain things to me or when he would chomp his fucking popcorn.I hated that we watched wrestling for 8 hours. He didnt give a fuck if i was ok he wasnt affectionate. He actually has 0 qualities I want in someone yet why am I sitting here sad over him? I think he took up a lot of my time and now I am alone in my thoughts and as liberating as that is its scarier than you think. Its terrifying. I sit here smoke get super stoned forget about my feelings then get my period and remember how deeply wounded of an indivual I am and I pretend with my adderall weed and coffee juul whatever that I am fine, but I actually am or feel like I am possibly losing my mind lol. Just kidding if anyone is reading and genuinely worried because I just am coasting in my life and i am scared that is not ok? Fuck my dad to be honest. He is the least affectionate father and I cant even remeber the last time he said something genuinely nice to me. He comments on every negative quality I could possibly hate and then walkls away and wonders why none of his kids are close to him. Sam is turning into a robot just like him I see it. Sam barely looks at me in the eyes and never tries to make conversation. This could be my paranoia but I see it. I forget sometimes if this is all in my perception and I should just worry about myself. Then again who am I to judge my own thoughts? Like what am i god? I am literally a 22 year old american what do i really think I could ever be perfect and the strive for perfection is the sickness that I know I am not the only one sick with anyway I am going to eat fluff now.

[television-pil0t]

Unsurprising I went to the mental hospital. The Carolina Center for Behavioral Health. I stayed 2 almost 3 days.. maybe 3 almost 4 days idk. Idk time blindness is a bitch but whatever. I’m back so I’m gonna talk about it because.. GENUINELY what the fuck.

So I was having a episode odviously. Full out psychotic ass bitch. Voices, believing I was god, thinking there were tall black people in my room (shadow people I just like sounding racist) like the whole nine yards. After I got off I’d tumblr swing “I keep hearing shit” or “seeing shit” or whatever I said I’m not gonna check. I called my friend queenie. She was asleep.. of course. Like no duh it was late.

I’m talking to her and I have her my account so know she knows about my awful bad boy tumblr account but I wanted her to understand what was going on. She dead ass is like “daemon this is really bad. Like your not thinking straight.“ I’m like “whatever whatever I do what I want.” I hang up and sleep like nothing happened.

Next day hits me like a fuckibg truck. I completely convence myself to go to the FUCKING AIR FORCE! LITERALLY LIKE

BRO WHAT LMAO!! I GOT IN CONTACT WITH A FUCKING SARGENT BRO!! AT MY SCHOLL LIKE!! ?!?? So I clearly had no intention of.. preserving my life. I get into a PHYSICAL fight with one of my DEAR FRIENDS and tell him to FUCKING KILL MYSELF. Like.. basically pushing everyone away as fast and aggressively as possible so.. as I told my psychologist ”If I say something or do something so bad then I won’t be tempted to come back to them. And they will hate me to much to come back to me.” 😀? What was I on? Nothing MOTHERFUCKER AND THATS THE PROBLEM.

So after that I go home. I told queenie I was going to the military. She’s like “literally don’t cancel that. Like your not doing that. That’s as never in your plans. Your going so far off the rails rn. What’s up with you. You had a whole plan and you’ve gone so far from what you wanted to do like.. your so creative you can really do something with all this..” blah blah blah saying every true stuff but I was insane so I didn’t care. Hung up. Blocked her in everything. Said fuck her she doesn’t undersand me 🥺 and.. she called the police telling them I need to be taken to the hospital..

LMAO I DID BUT I WAS ODVIOUSLY MAD

THEY HAD EVERYONE OUT THERE BEO. The cops were farther down but they were making sure I didn’t try and kill myself or something so they brought everyone.

So I go to the hospital and I’m out of it at this point I can’t lie I barely remember this shit. Straight up. I don’t remember a lot of this whole.. few months because I’ve been stirring up a episode but like.. I really did good on dissociating the entire thing.

I do remember them giving me apple juice but it was open. I was like “can you.. give me another one I’m not happy that it’s open.” And they were like.. :/ and got me another one but THAT ONE WAS ALSO SLIGHTLY OPEN?! SO I WAS PISSED OFF. Because I was like?? ARE YOU TRYING TO DRUG ME LIKE?? WHY IS IT FUCKING OPEN CUNT?! I eventually just said fuck it and drank it and it did have meds in it because I was knocked out in a matter of a few minutes but like.. if they just told me I’d drink it?! I just don’t like they were like.. hiding it.

So some shit happened. At night they would watch me and I’d be like :/ and they would be like 🤨😦😑🫤 and I be like ☹️🥱😴 and that was that. So then..

This nurse?? Come in. It’s like 8 in the damn morning and I’m tired as fuck and she gives me breakfast and asked if im ok. I’m like “yeah whatever”. She’s like.. “do you know why your here” im say “because im a bad person.” He’s like “can you explain to me how.” I’m like “that would be to long and you have other patience and I’d rather just talk without a time limit.” She looks at me with the most.. “damn.. you right but shit” look I’ve ever seen and then leaves after writing something down on her little tablet.

I stay in the room almost all day. They keep checking in me. I keep responding the same.

So at the end of the day.. bout.??? 9 or 10 idk they didn’t have a clock in there. That nurse came back and sat down in a chair. She was like “would you like the light on” I was like “nah it’s better it adds dramatic effect when it’s dark” I make her laugh at this point I’m like “Hehe I’m in baby!” In where idk but lord knows I was fucking ovulating so nothing I was saying or doing was making since. Thinking with my dick and shit or something idk idk.

So we have a long conversation.

She gives me my phone… and I show her my tumblr..

She looks at me with the most 😐😧😦😬😨😰 look I’ve ever fucking seen. Like bro was SCARED.

She sets my phone down.. DOESN’T TURN IT OFF BTW. And goes “so you think you have aspd. You know you have bpd right.” I was like “very aware.” She was like “well.. I think you have some define characteristics of both.” I just kinda was like thinking ok the worst that could happen is that I stay here for like.. a month if I tell the complete truth. So I go all out. Say fuck it. Tell my whole ass truth because I’d im gonna be here im gone leave with a correct diagnosis and help that I need. I’m like “I feel like I’m constantly in conflict with myself about caring and not caring. Like I know I have abandonment issues but I broke up with my bf out of pure anger and then did shit just to hurt him and I did that to my friend when I got into a fight with him and I did that to my mom when she was still alive.” She as like “do you feel bad?” I was like “I don’t know.” She put her tablet down and it felt like she was just taking to me and not working. I know that’s literally just a ploy. She way probably recording the conversation but it felt nice. “Do you know what it feels like to feel bad about something?” I’m like “I think I remember.” And that goes into my emotional blindness and perception. After a while of not feeling a emotion I forget what it’s like and it feels like I’ve never experienced it before and I tell her that and she’s like “well that sounds like both disorders working together pretty well. Do you ever feel like your fighing against someone else in your head” and I’m like I don’t have DID but.. sometimes sure I do. Because it’s hard to keep both feeling in check. I don’t wanna be reckless but the more I think about something the more in convence myself what I’m doing is right.

So we start talking about people. We talk about the first and I admitted it was a bit irrational (now I know it was very dumb but I wasn’t there yet) and we talk about my mom because I just kept being her up and then she looked at my phone again and asked me how I felt about my ex. I was like “I feel like I did the same thing to him as my friend except I feel like I lost feeling.”

This woman said something that ripped my apart. “Did you lose feelings or did you just not remember them once he hurt you.”

Bro I’m gonna throw up at this point. She goes on because I’m completely silent because I never thought of that but she was completely right. “you wanna feel better than everyone else because that’s how you think you deserve to be treated. Do you treat others like that?” I’m like “yeah I treat all my friends well.” She looks at me and she’s like “do you? Do you treat them and say things you’d like to be said to you? Or do you stop being nice once you realize you can’t control them.” And I’m like “I think I’m nice.. I think I say nice things.” And then I remember again.. she was right. I’m just kinda a asshole. Once I realize I’ve lost someone’s “undying loyalty.” I stop caring for them. Happened with my mom. With Mali once he got a gf I almost completely treated him like a completely different person. Happened with khye. And we didn’t even talk about the “others” until the second day but..

I’m like at a lose. I’m really sad because I realized how bad I fucked up and I start feeling empty and like shit. Idk if it was guilt but.. it all made a lot of since

I felt like I couldn’t feel love for a very long time because I just forgot what it felt like. Not that I want loved by my bf I was. And I loved him. It was just I was having a episode and genuinely couldn’t see it or feel it at the time because sometimes in her words “when your long distance it’s hard to hold someone with your words. You seem to crave that. Even if you don’t want the physical affect do you think he hugged you with his words enough.” And I’m like “I think so. He wrote me letters and gave me gifts” and she as like “ok.. did those make you happy or did they make you feel warm. Did they remind you ‘oh yea this person loves me’ or was it more if just.. this is how I should be treated.” And I was like :( because damn girl this hurts. Your hurting me. She was like “did you stop loving your mom when you realized she didn’t do anything worth loving.” And I was about to fucking kill myself because as much as I saw her struggle.. in my mind the bare minimum was her feeding me and giving me a house and shit. That’s all she COULD do. That’s literally it. She could only do a little bit for me and I didn’t feel love for her when I realized that’s all she could do. That’s.. awful. I feel so fucking bad that I thought like that.. and that I thought like that too late before I could change it and be better. Yes she fucked up. We would fight and argue and she would say some awful shit but she also tried so hard to give me a good life with the best possible education and food on the table as often as she could and the fact that I didn’t see that as enough.. that sucks.

She basically kept going on for about an hour or 2 until I was like.. “damn. I’m tired.” She gave me my meds and I went to bed and the next morning I went out and talked to some people.

Met this guy that was pretty neet. I got called into the office and they talked to me some more this after noon. It was basically just “you have very conflicting mental illness and we’re surprised you haven’t ended it all yet. Here have meds.” Lmao

Fr tho. I have autism, bpd, adhd, and some kinda aspd (not officially diagnosed.. or maybe I am but they gave my paper to my parents and I never saw it.) but they were like “Your listed here as a self centered .. extremely selfish narcissist with paranoia, social anxiety and general psychosis or schizophrenia (like all of it delusions, hallucinations, disorganized, thoughts and behaviors etc I was fucked up yeah I know.)

So paranoid schizophrenic with narcissistic personality disorder and religious psychosis. (Supernatural reference) and I was like :/ damn son where’d you find this.

They gave me some meds to take and the. Kinda watched me for a while.. I have to go back and be watched a few more times cuz ya know but I’m not excited about it.

My meds definitely work. I’m not like.. batshit insane anymore but I still have my symptoms because they didn’t cure me. I still have to go to therapy and shit for a while. I feel bad because my friends fucking hated me for a while because queenie told them what happened and tbh I’m surprised I was even slightly forgiven. I don’t use my mental health as like a “sorry I did that” moment but literally they was no other explanation for what that happened. It was straight up I thought I was god full on insane mode and then basic “your think in a shitty way and that’s not your fault but you still have to work on changing it.” Therapy.

Am I gonna apologize. Yeah. When.. idk. I pissed off so many people I’ve the past couple of days including my parents. They didn’t believe me at first but now they feel really bad for everything and shit.

[w2nv]

Live reaction 228!!

I honestly don’t like how Cecil’s back and doing just dandy but ok sure

Im glad you’ve learned how to actually close a door Cecil

Idgaf abt ur blender where’s Carlos!!!!!!!!!

IM SO MAD HES NOT MAD AT CARLOS. He keeps defending him and scientists as a whole and that’s ok i guess ! BUT BUT HHHHHH this isn’t cathartic at all

Look I’m always happy at Carlos mentions but this is actually killing me. The lack of use Carlos is having in this plot is actually maddening to me

She killed Vanessa imo

He’s eating on radio???

He’s being too silly. This is a bit too much for me. Like I love Cecil I’m so glad he’s doing okay-ish but like aaaaaaa

OK THIS IS FUNNY THO lalalallala

Tamika slap some sense into Carlos please

PINE CLIFF PINE CLIFF CHARLES COME HOME TO ME (the most theologically interesting community in the us!!!)

I Miss the old Tamika ngl!!! She was fun

THEYRE TOO PRODUCTIVE TO LESVE??????? HELLOOOO??? KEVIN!!!!!(!(!(!;!;?;?;?;?4

I Miss my wife tails i Miss him so much

Something arcane or truly supernatural workshipper of the smiling god Kevin this is how we can win

DONT TOUCH JOSH GET AWAY FROM HIM ASSHOLE

Josh is 23??????????

Dashcon Ballpit

NOT THE FACELESS OLD WOMAN

You can have hiram

Why aren’t they asking abt Kevin!!!!

Puntkick them Cecil jfc

NONONONONONONONONONO MY WEATHER

SHERIFF SAM!!!!

OK IVE NOTICED A PARALLEL

Tamika stop I want them dead!!

Tamika what the fuck

Tamika what Tamika what Tamika what

They fixed the situation without Carlos doing shit I’m so mad

LUEBLLE ASSHOLE DIEDUEDIE!!!!!5

YESYEYSYEYSYYES CARLOS GET SHITT ONNNH!!!!!!(i have a crush on him)

I like the whole outlawing science thing that can start a genuinely interesting debate but. Man. Not enough Carlos it’s disappointing really

[caesaryoulater]

The end of the year is approaching, so I thought I’d post some of the fics that I really loved this year. I came back to Tumblr and fanfiction after being away for about 4 years. It wasn’t something that I anticipated, but I’m so glad to be back. It’s my goal to be much better with reading and writing next year. If you’ve had any favorites, please feel free to send those my way as well!

Bread, Salt, Wine, and Tender Loving Care and Of Comfort Foods and Lightning Bugs and Midnight Dances by @dusted-souls /  KyberHearts_And_StardustSouls on ao3 - These are two fics that are tied together, so they both have to be mentioned. The first is a beautiful glimpse into friendship and sickness and what that means for said friendship. Bucky Barnes is shown to be a supportive, kind friend. It is so clear how much of herself Vonny puts into this and god it’s amazing. Be ready for some tears. The follow up is incredibly sweet and has something for all my fellow Sam Wilson lovers out there. Also browse through some of her other Bucky fics, because they’re all incredible.

As It Should Be by @wordsnwhiskey - What can I even say about this? Its a damn masterpiece. Not only are the characters incredibly well written, but you are really in the middle of all the action that takes place. I’m often on the edge of my seat. And jesus fucking christ, the poly representation? YES! You truly feel the love between Frankie, Jack, and the reader together. It’s so genuine for all three and there’s such understanding. I feel like it’s not something I see often and I’m constantly in awe of how great of a relationship it is. You can go and catch up on B’s other Jack fics. They honestly make me love that stupid cowboy.

Black Velvet by @im-poe-dameron / @moonlight-prose - Look, this fucking 80′s bartending Din Djarin lives in my head rent-fucking-free. It’s sexy, it’s angsty, its goddamn beautiful. This is the type of story that just sticks with you. It’s a part of you after reading it. Like your own damn lived memories, but you know, unfortunately they’re not. But it’s just so real. I’m also using this opportunity to tell you to read Jameson’s Bucky fics (really any of her fics...). It’s exactly how I aspire to write Bucky, exactly how imagine him.

Space Age Love Song by @mishasminion360 -  Just a really sweet story of a fish out of water crash landing into our main character’s life. Watching Din be completely out of his element but trying is incredibly sweet. I really love the OC, Sara. She’s sweet and compassionate, but she’s also sure of herself and what she wants. I appreciate a good, strong female character that is still vulnerable and caring.

Distraction by @the-queen-of-fools - Really, any of her sub!Dave fics. I love the care she takes with the subject matter. The warnings and explanations at the beginning are a great touch. They’re such great representation for non-toxic/abusive BDSM relationships. Like I said, the care is there but without losing any sexiness. 

Frankie Morales ficlet by  @silverwolf319 - Just a short and sweet little fic about a morning after with Frankie. Its so lovely and who wouldn’t love a morning like this with Mr. Morales?

Santiago Garcia ficlet by @wyn-n-tonic - Ok, ok. I’m gonna start out by saying I’m painfully behind on her fics. I really need to get caught up on the Frizzy-verse and I hope to be less of a disaster and get to that soon. BUT I re-found this in my fic recs tag and it’s cute and just feels like such a great, established relationship.

Of Cupcakes and Cupid by @asta-lily - I’m a sucker for a good meet cute. And this one with Frankie Morales is just downright adorable.

Princes Never Say Please by @starlightmornings - All three parts. This one took me by surprise a little bit. I’m not normally one to read about loss of virginity. And I don’t read a ton of Oberyn, oddly enough. But this one is really well written and I just couldn’t say no.

Sunday Morning by @toomanystoriessolittletime - Do I really love the idea of just lazing in bed with Frankie Morales? Yes. Yes I do. This is another really sweet one about just that.

Glitter by @sarahwroteathing - Another meet cute. This time with Steve Rogers. Elementary teacher Steve Rogers, to be exact. I hear Steve’s voice so well in this. It’s adorable and had me looking like Marshall Erikson staring at Enrique Iglesias the entire time.

Can’t Remember, Huh? by @221bshrlocked​ - Another thing I’m a sucker for: awkward as hell Bucky. And this definitely fits that bill. I love the teasing, the little twist at the end with the reader. A really fun read.

[toxicsamruby]

i think a not as exciting take is that sam was written as the boy protagonist and many times i’ve seen that it’s the beloved non-protag/sidekick (which i know dean isn’t but dean was introduced second and things were happening To Sam) that grabs at ppl more it’s just in this case dean also showed more outward vulnerability and wound up having things Happen to him that put his pov front and center sometimes. i also think (and i’m reaching so far back into my memory so i could be saying nothing and my dean diseased brain has literally lost the plot) that in s1 sam as a character really could have benefited from being Alone in a scene or alone with other ppl more and he so rarely was in comparison to big vulnerable or more (imo) diverse alone and alone with other ppl screentime that dean got early on that gave u access to his internal world (the pleading phone call to john, the cop interactions, dead in the water, faith, skin). not just alone in a scene but something with substance and i honestly can’t think of arresting moments alone that sam got (scarecrow was middling for me for ex). i had to do a lot of connecting with sam in my own mind on purpose in a way i did not with dean early on that i think made a lasting impact on who i latched onto more. sam girls are great bc sam is more emotionally contained and felt v Easy for me to conceptualize and move on from in my head of what we did know so he was never the one i dwelled on but y’all actually excite me about sam in a way the show just didn’t manage to outside of things like the trials in s8 or s4 (and i blame it on the show!). sidenote his faith was the most compelling thing about him to me and spn didn’t have the range :/ i would have been absolutely destroyed by sam more visibly coming to terms with God as Chuck bc if that were me i’d be fucking devastated and the show didn’t really care to do Both sam and dean in re: to that bc the show never had the range 😶 this is so long sorry ok bye

hmm no youre definitely onto something here like me and hannah were talking abt how sam and dean r both stoic in different ways like dean is this sort of performative stoic thats like "im suffering please pay attention to me i dont have the self esteem to actually ask for your attention but i want u to notice and give it to me anyway" and thats a choice they made to characterize him like that whereas sam is genuinely stoic he does not want people in his business i mean for christs sake he went four years not telling jess anything and dean told cassie within a matter of weeks/months! all that to say that like that bleeds into the actual framing of the show in a really interesting way where we have scenes w dean bc even tho he pretends to be stoic he really wants somebody to see him and understand him whereas sam genuinely does not want that and so the writers dont give it to him, so like you said he becomes very easy to write off. i definitely see what ur saying tho like sam is the more interesting character to me (mostly bc dean is a very well worn archetype. an archetype i like but an archetype ive seen many many times) but u have to be willing to think abt the show to maintain that interest bc the writers will not maintain that interest for u bc he doesnt get the interiority dean does very often

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[supernatural-reacts]

Season 15 episode 18

- HERE WE ARE

- I am so not ready.

- POOR JACK BUT ALSO THIS LOOKS REALLY COOL

- “we’re not giving up on you” YEAH CAUSE HES FAMILY

- BILLIE!! I KNOW SHES EVIL NOW BUT I STILL LOVE HER

- OH SHIT THE EMPTY

- DID JACK EXPLODE

- is he dead???

- “good thing it can’t reach me here.” “Yeah the empty can’t come to earth. Not without being summoned.” EEEEEEEE

- Billie kinda has a point though

- OH YAY HES NOT DEAD

- Billie looks happy about something

- “you made it loud.” Interesting

- YAY JACK

- DEAN THAT WAS NOT SMART

- he really wanted to kill death twice huh

- “Sam I’m sorry.” THANK YOU DEAN

- “to somehow” 🥺

- STEVIE AND CHARLIE!!!

- THEYRE SO CUTEEEE

- “yeah like a date.” I LOVE THEM

- HHHH I KNEW STEVIE WAS GONNA DIE BUT IT HURTS

- poor Charlie I want to hug her

- Cas comforting Jack 🥺 that’s his sonnn

- “I don’t know why I’m even here.” CRYINGGGG

- “we care about you because you’re you” THEY ARE A FAMILY

- “I’m scared Cas.” “I know. Me too.” IM TEARING UP HELP

- “is she just some collateral damage to you?? Is that what I’ll be too?” ME @ THE WRITERS

- “Eileen.” FRICKKKK

- THE THREE DOTS DISAPPEARING OH GOD MY HEART JUST DROPPED

- NO NO NO

- SAM IS HER FUCKING LOCK SCREEN IM SCREAMING

- how does Sam’s messaging app work bc if the message was half typed the three dots should still be there- not important ok

- “if I let myself go there I’ll lose my mind.” POOR SAM

- “I’ll go with you Dean.” IM LOSING MY MIND. THE WAY MISHA SAYS IT,, FOR ONCE HE DOESNT HAVE TO MAKE IT SOUND PLATONIC. YOU CAN HEAR HOW MUCH HE LOVES DEAN.

- DONNA!!

- Jack is baby

- Dean with the scythe <3

- “Jody and the girls” 🥺 I wish they were here

- yayyy Charlie

- I like her makeup

- oh wow this hideout is so cool!

- why does Bobby suddenly look 20 years younger

- HOW DID JACK KILL THAT PLANT WHAT

- “I guess this is the part where I say... hello boys” IM IN LOVE WITH HER

- oh no Cas

- “I didn’t hurt your friends.” WAIT REALLY WHAT?

- I... ok Avengers Infinity War

- NO DONNA

- I DONT LIKE THAT BILLIES DYING ALREADY

- “I’ve got you” REEEEE

- I love Billie dragging the scythe along the wall

- CAS CUTTING HIS HAND TO PROTECT DEAN IM JUST THINKING ABOUT “always happy to bleed for the Winchesters” I CANT

- “she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me” SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BUT I CANT ARTICULATE ANYTHING

“I love you.”

- OK I WAS GENUINELY TOO BUSY CRYING DURING THE CONFESSION SCENE TO TYPE ANYTHING BUT HERES SOME ASSORTED SCREAMING

- CAS IS GONE. THATS THE LAST SCENE IM EVER GOING TO SEE WITH HIM HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THIS

- HE REALLY SAID I LOVE YOU HUH.

- DEAN WAS ASKING HIM TO STAY. THE “why does this sound like a goodbye” AND THE “don’t do this Cas.” HES ASKING HIM TO STAY

BLOODY HANDPRINT

- CAS REALLY SAID IN ALL OF TIME AND SPACE-THINGS I ONLY CARE ABOUT BECAUSE YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO-IN ALL OF THAT YOU ARE MY HAPPINESS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. WHAT THE FUCKKK

- THE WAY HE EMPHASIZES WANT IN THE ONE THING I WANT

- DEAN SAT THERE AND CRIED ALL NIGHT BECAUSE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE LOVED HIM BACK AND NOW HES GONE WHAT THE HELL

- I think I need to lie down