#god if he lived here and wasnt leaving forever.

[convulsionofhonesty]

actually evil that my first date ever (with an entirely unavailable person!) was literally perfect and now i have the highest bar known to man

[solcarow]

.

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED BTS FICS OF SEPTEMBER 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my bts recs of september! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Head Over Skates || @mercurygguk🔞💔🔄

↳ in which jeon jungkook is the captain of the hockey team and one of the biggest fuckboys on campus. you hate his guts and he knows it – that's why he's more than determined to make the most of three weeks of project work. you're convinced it's going to be the end of you.

My Heart Did || @aseaofyoongi🔞💔✅

↳ as soon as senior years comes to an end a lot of teens shed who we were and strive to be flourish into a more polished version of themselves. although, broken hearts aren’t so quick to heal what happens when thoughts reveal all we need to know?

Bad Idea || @back2bluesidex🔞💕✅

↳ Accepting Jungkook's invitation to watch him train topless was such a bad idea.

Don't Tell Me That... You Forgot || @sweetiestokkie💕✅

↳ (short summary that i have come up with since there wasnt one, but oc plans a secret birthday for jk. so we have a lil ol angy jjk.)

Just The Tip? || @joon4eva🔞💕✅

↳ you and namjoon are left alone together for a little too long. or: in your childhood home, you learn just how much is really "just the tip" with namjoon.

My Flower || @i-am-baechu💕✅💯

↳ Men don’t get enough flowers. That’s why whenever it’s Namjoon’s birthday, Y/N always sends flowers (someone please get me a boo so that i can give them flowers.)

Socks || @hisunshiine💕✅

↳ (theres no summary but if we talking about socks, his god dam toe socks lives in my mind rent free and i need it to start paying rent.)

Take Care Of You || @kookslastbutton🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ To keep your fiance from burning out you suggest a weekend getaway to Gapyeong, a charming town about an hour outside Seoul. You've specifically asked him to leave his work equipment at home but like a deep rooted habit, he still brings it with him. You're left with no choice but to find a way to get his attention back.

When I Say Forever || @kookslastbutton🔞💕✅💯

↳ Today’s your wedding day and the slightly shy yet handsome, doe-eyed stranger who chased after you when you dropped your wallet on the street three years ago just happens to be the man standing before you today.

7 Hybrids Moved In With Me || @lillsisamarshmallow💕💔🔄

↳ When the dog hybrid who visits her bakery starts taking extra food Y/N follows it through the alleys to find out why, but what happens when she stumbles upon an empty alley only to find 6 more hybrids and some very familiar pastries?

Entangled || @caelesjjk🔞✅💯

↳ Jeon Jungkook is Spider-Man.

Hold Me Together || @casuallyimagining💕🔄💯

↳ a collection of drabbles and headcanons featuring seokjin, yoongi, and namjoon and their significant others.... all of whom have chronic illnesses. each piece can be read on its own or as part of a series.

Leaked || @btsficsandsuch💕💔✅

↳ Req by OP's Followers: Hi ,I love your writing so much . Can I request a ot7 × platonic fem reader where they became friends accidentally and she is also their fan but something happens like a misunderstanding of sorts and she is blamed or something then when the truth comes out they ask for her forgiveness but don't make her forgive them easily also include an accident in between story if you can. Sorry if it's too confusing .have a good day

Stars Around My Scars || @vanteggukie💕💔🔄

↳ people are not always what they seem. you learned that the hard way, when you caught your boyfriend cheating, the night that was supposed to be one of the best ones you ever experienced. but on the same night you also learned that in everything bad, there’s always a little bit of good.

Rainy Days || @rklve🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ your life choices left not only yours, but jungkook's heart broken in peaces. now you're back in town, and just like pluto, even if it's cold and dark, he tends to orbit around his sun forever.

Taste Of His Own Medicine || @btsficsandsuch💔✅💯

↳ You suddenly have to leave to go back to your home country for a few months. Yoongi decides to ignore you so you decide to show him how it feels when he realizes you’re gone.

The Back Up Plan || @btsgotjams27💕✅💯

↳ one drunken night leads to an agreement that if you and jungkook are still single by 30, you'd marry each other. the only thing is jungkook has been doing everything he can to keep you single.

Aphrodite In War || @jungblue🔞💕💔🔄

↳ Everyone knew about the war that had been brewing on the edge of campus for the past two years. Sorority versus Fraternity; a showdown for the ages. However, when the escalating antics between them yields the consequence of possible suspensions for both chapters, the presidents of each house must come together to try and figure out how to end this battle… Which is kind of hard, considering they were the ones responsible for it in the first place.

Basic Needs || @gggukniverse🔞✅💯

↳ missing sex while being stuck in your apartment with your two roommates during quarantine is being the worst nightmare you could've imagined. fortunately, you're not the only one who's touch starved.

Safety Net || @pradaksj🔞💕💔✅

↳ on new year’s eve, you and jungkook reflect on each other’s entire year together. 

Heart-On || @junghelioseok🔞✅💯💯

↳ your one-night stand definitely isn’t relationship material, but maybe—just maybe—your manager’s son is. (this is part of their serendipity series, make note that its not connected. do check out their jjk fic thats part of this series!!)

Territorial || @bonny-kookoo🔞💕🔄

↳ Who would've known that the big bad wolf isn't actually all that bad?

Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[stealingpotatoes]

Invitation to talk about Sayuri and Nymie?

:D CAN OF WORMS: OPENED!! i'll tell u abt how they got found as Jedi

ok so Sayuri is one of the students that doesn't rlly go home bc there isn't much to go back to. Basically her parents were Rebellion pilots (or one was a pilot the other a mechanic. kinda unsure) but were both killed in action against the Empire abt 3-4ABY ish. obvs the Rebellion couldn't look after a 7-8yo while fighting the Empire

so the remainder of the squad manage to get her back to her parents' home village/ where she was born. so having like Everything change all at once leaves her pretty ?? and gives her some serious trusting-her-environment issues. her coolgirl "i dont care" persona is very much a result of this bc she's worried abt getting too comfy in smthn. (which is at odds w the OTHER issue she got from this event which is "deathly afraid of flying" an issue not helped if Master "traffic laws are just guidelines" Skywalker is piloting. but she tries 2 act like shes fine)

this is gonna get kinda long so im gonna smack some unposted art here and then go into a readmore

anyway fast forwarding to when Sayuri's abt 13 (roughly 9aby) she's visiting her parent's old squadron on a New Republic bc they'd all come visit whenever she could and after the Empire's fall they did a lot more pick her up and fly her to a base to ALL see her. and they're like omg Sayuri you came at the PERFECT time bc this rlly amazing pilot war hero who's also some like. mystical whatever is here!! he's on his way to some magic place we heard. maybe u can meet him!! which sayuri meets w her usual whatever bc she's not that gassed abt war heroes.

very worth noting that the squad's probably all seen her move shit with her mind, but theyre like oh you know how it is with teenage girls. the "nobody knows what a jedi is" + "the empire existed for a decent bit of her childhood" thing has kept anyone from being like yeahh sayuri should like. talk to someone abt this.

anyway she goes along when the squad are like c'mon let's see if we can see him. ok the only way i can describe this is you know the spiderverse like... spidey-sense recognition thing? that's basically what happens LOL Luke and Sayuri both have a FORCE USER RECOGNISED?? moment and Luke then makes a beeline for her then realises oh shit tiny teenager not jedi. would you LIKE to be a jedi?? and sayuri who hates her village and is feeling the strongest emotional connection she's felt in forever w this stranger she met 2 seconds ago is like okay fuckin sure yeah. and woo jedi!!

i posted my unposted nymie art yesterday but likkeeee pretend theres some here <3

So Sayuri falls into the "one of the Jedi found them thru the force or by chance" category of students who get found. However Nymie very much falls into the second category, which is "CAN SOMEONE DEAL WITH THIS WEIRD SUPERPOWERED CHILD FOR US????"

So 2 things about Nymie: 1. like i've said before, she's from a very rich high class pantoran family. super stuck up, mostly raised by nannies & tutors, but somehow Nymie just didn't get the stuck-up genes like all her (4!!) siblings who are just obsessed w their social standing etc and is instead just :D all the time. 2. her proficiency ig is the living force esp in the 'good at connecting to animals' way (which I think means I legally need to draw her w Ezra).

so the former often led her to escaping her family's stuffy parties and galas or whatever (usually to whoever's house it is' garden or somewhere she wasnt meant to be) to find something interesting. usually a pet <3 one particular time when she was 9 she was following her Pet Sense but couldnt find anything in the house. so she kinda just reached out more and long story short thats how Nymie managed to call this hugemassive beast (i'd tell u what it was if i knew pantoran animals LOL) out of the nearby countryside to her. massively distressing for everyone, all these rich ppl were like "OH MY GOD I NEARLY DIED" (it didnt attack anyone). very funny exciting time for Nymie who was enjoying this new beastie friend til animal control showed up. saddening. everyone is confused bc HOW did that happen

a dude old (and cool) enough to have seen more than one jedi in their heyday (+ idk uni researcher knows his shit) noticed what happened w it going straight to Nymie and overheard her account and realised what happened and was like hi nymie's parents. i think u need to get into contact w the new republic bc thats a jedi right there (which they take and go oo social climbing. we have a jedi child people will think we're cooler. bc theyre assholes)

and yeah im losing steam now but luke shows up and she joins the academyyay!

[sourgreenlupin]

Sirius seeing Remus hurt

(537 words)

(just a lil idea not fully written out, if it does well i’ll probs turn it into smth!)

remus is bleeding out on the floor of the shack. james crying in the corner with his hand clamped over his mouth, and wormtail scittering around in fear.

remus wakes up to, most importantly, sirius sobbing and leaning over him. his shoulders shaking, breathing quickly, his hands clawing over remus’ chest.

less importantly, he’s in his own pool of blood and sweat. and his shoulder is twisted in a way it shouldnt be able to. and he’s pretty sure he’s a few centimetres away from his ribs showing through the gashes in his side.

‘sirius?’ remus cant hold his eyes open, but is sirius okay?

‘oh moony, my moony. oh merlin.’ sirius is heaving and still franticly moving his hands trying to find something manageable to fix, but everything is blurring together.

‘s-sirius wha- whats wrong?’

‘god moony sometimes youre so fucking dense.’

remus just stares up at him.

‘moony, fuck, youre kinda bleeding out into my hands right now,’

‘oh, s-so are you ok-ay?’ but sirius is still crying so remus moves his good arm to grasp sirius’ hand.

remus’ eyes keep falling shut and sirius keeps talking louder and squeezing his hand every time they do.

‘sirius, you need to leave pomfrey will be here in a few minutes’ jame’s voice is shakey and he’s clearly almost as messed up as sirius is.

‘i cant fucking leave remus here, he’s loosing so much…’

remus’ eyes scrunch up, ‘ i wasnt gonna live forever anyways padfoot.

‘remus fucking lupin do not EVER say some shit like that to me again.’ sirius focuses his energy on tying a tourniquet around remus’ midriff. ‘tell pomfrey you did that. cause you’ll be fine. and she’ll fix it when she gets here.’ sirius though seemingly more composed, is still sobbing heavily above remus.

theres blood soaked through all of their clothes, and prongs and wormtail are still frozen in absolute shock in the corner.

sirius leans down and kisses remus (just in case) and remus kisses back with every ounce of energy in his body.

remus’ is fighting to stay awake, not because he wants to. but because sirius wants him to. and he’d do anything for sirius.

‘padfoot, pomfreys in the hall,’ james having gained his composure and some sense of reason, finally stood up and was half under the cloak.

‘remus. listen to me. you stay awake. and you let pomfrey do whatever the fuck it takes to fix you. you make it out. and ill bring you lunch. understood?’ sirius gave remus’ hand a final squeeze as he prayed to whatever deity was listening.

‘whatever… you say…sirius.

‘padfoot ! get under !’ james and sirius crawl under the cloak together, and wormtail climbs into james’ pocket.

‘OH MY remus, remus baby, oh come here, let me get that’ the two boys and the rat make it just in time for pomfrey to run in and tend to remus.

sirius is pulled out of the room by james, but he doesnt miss remus’ faint plea.

‘ma’am please just let me go.’

‘oh remus. never in a million years.’

sirius’s hand flies over his mouth to stop the sob from escaping as james continues to pull him back to the castle.

[stupidsketchpad]

hey guys. im here to rant about how 2econd 2ight 2eer (second sight seer) by will wood is secret life bigb's song because god its eerie how similar the song lyrics are to his character. AHEM (also spoilers for secret life)

My grip on my secrets slipping while I'm speaking in tongues

ok. this is a really good start lol. basically bigb's task don't mean much when he does weird shit anyway for fun and, quote from grian, "writes his own tasks"

Screaming at the top of my lungs in the confession booth

he's saying stuff that litterally makes no sense. even after his task is done he wont tell anyone (confession booth is kinda like people asking about your task after it's done. your confessing your task to someone)

Take it with a pillar of salt, H.A.L.T., it's not my fault

i got nothing man

The devil made me do it, but I also kinda wanted to

THIS LINE AHSHDHSHAH. THE SECRET KEEPER GIVES HIM THE TASKS CAUSE HE HAS TO BUT HE WANTS TO DO THEM ANYWAY ANDDDD MAKE THEM AS CONFUSING AS POSSIBLE. SECRET KEEPER COUNTS AS THE DEVIL HERE

I'm cut from a different kind of meat

More than you can chew, hard to swallow me

"what the hell are you doing??" is a common question he gets asked. hard to swallow. y'know

Forget bored stiff, I got rigor mortis, call it morbid curiosity

How I cannot commit to reality, when my third eye's open and I like what I see

he's doing shit for the sake of doing shit.

Baby, I may be crazy but I didn't lose it, no I set it free

AAAAA THIS LINE TOOO!!! ok so he didn't just randomly start lying in secret life. it was weird before that too! i cant speak for double but LIMITED LIFE he was also confusing people about being the boogeyman. basically that one meme with the "guy weird about everything but its drowned out by how weird about everything the other people are"

I can't ignore what's under dance floorboards, the rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat

But I still move my feet

To slip out of this groove, I'm free

dont got much here but i think this is just him having fun, yknow

Now to row, row, row my boat over the falls

And maybe wake up from but a dream, yeah

"but a dream" is the games. there are three rows in the line. lose your lives to get the game over with.

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

once again, this wasnt the first time he was being weird!!!

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I'm only passing through

say weird shit, refuse to elaborate, leave.

Oh, oh, o-o-oh

If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see

You'd look through illusions, hallucinations, and lucid dream

And I know that meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep

But I got facts and I'm not afraid to use 'em, take the good with the bad, take off the back you make a new front

evo, anyone? anyway this man knows about watchers and doesnt care. he knows! he just doesn't give that any meaning.

Some days I'm glad that I am a madman and I'd rather be that than

An amicable animal, mild-mannered cannibal

red lives and how bigb doesn't have the same bloodlust as they do. this guy doesn't kill much, he's like the most passive on the server. /srs

But I'm more level-headed and clever than ever and I'm getting better one forever at a time

how many people guessed any of bigb's tasks? that's right, zero! (if i remember correctly.) he's getting better at the games (btw the games being referred to as "forevers" is just ahshahdghs)

And if sick is defined by what's different, well then pull the plug out and let me die

not much here

Vice-versa, vice versus virtue

Well who I am I choose through all the things I do

AAAAAAAA HE CHOOSES HOW HE IS PERCEIVED BY THE OTHERS BY SAYING HIS STUFF YA GET WHAT IM SAYING

And if it rhymes, it's true, but I hate poetry

contradicting himself. easy peasy analysis here folks.

Now with my moral compass pointing south, I'm going down

With no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no respect for reality

could say this is going red! but also. "going down?" LIKE A HOLE? HE MADE A HOLE?????

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I'm only passing through

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

same stuff

A tourist passing through

Well that was fun, goodbye

he died. but hey, he had fun!

anyways thats all thank you for listening to me ramble about songs and minecraft i WILL do this again. sorry if this is incoherent i wrote it at 10:00 pm.

psst... moot... @bigb-enthusiast... would you like this?

[bugtypeskilledandthenrevivedme]

im a person that is real (no lies here)

i dont really have a name. if you really need to buggy is fine. i know internet safety. it/its. if you use they/them for me then i will actually just kill you.

where i live: none of your buisness and barely even mine.

where i came from: your left nut.

my pokemon: okay finally a good question (i was starting to get a little impatient)

i have a Firoke (named Baby Man) (commonly just refrred to as Lord Babilicous Esquire Esquire The Third of His name: House of Man) (also just Baby) that i love with all of my heart even though he is dumb as bricks. I will link an image of him cuz Firoke dont really live in other regions.

i also have an Purugly named Kenneth. she has the demeanor of a sixty year old man who lost both his legs in bicycle incident. shes also mostly blind so unfamiliar people = scary = threat. her dad was also a nidorino so shes got a horn. is evil.

and a falinks. its just around. their name is command.

caught a heracross. her name is sixteen-crunching-leaves-stuck-elytra. tried to get her to agree on anything shorter but it wasnt happening

my biology? fucked. ive got mandibles, bug wings, compound eyes. the whole shebang

now also adding glitter and shit to your mass produced pokeballs. so they dont look lifeless and mass produced. pay what you want, send me an ask about and ill work on it.

buggy: firoke hybrid (magically induced). level 32. moves: overheat, incinerate, x-scissor and sunny day.

Baby man: firoke. level 42. type: fire/bug moves: incinerate, bug bite, sunny day and nightshade.

Kenneth: purugly/nidorino hybrid (12 percent nidorino. 88 percent purugly. 100 percent shithead). type: normal/poison. level 40. moves: dig, poison jab, retaliate and fake out.

Command: falinks. type: fighting. level 29. moves: reversal, protect, headbutt and bulk up.

Sixteen-Crunching-Leaves-Stuck-Elytra: heracross. type: fighting/bug. level 58. moves? she does what she want

// hi there. finally made that other blog huh. and at an ungodly hour.

// magic anons are off until i say so. because thats the way the world works. TERFs, intolerant people and the like can honestly just walk into an imdustrial freezer and go to sleep. forever. sentient pokemon are welcome, this fucker has seen weirder shit.

// pelipper mail is on. please send this fucker pipebombs god knows they need them. also no replies. i keep forgetting to turn that off

// also i will be counting some fakemon as real, the entire pokemon uranium dex is canon because buggy is from tandor.

[everydaydg]

43. Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor (DS, 2009)

Devil Survivor is amazing.

I will admit that I was pretty darn scheptical at first with the main artist being Suzuhito Yasuda and it being a tactical rpg

Something about the cybersleuth artist working on it seemed off to me, it made me expect alot of anime tropes.

I am not speaking badly of Yasuda mind you.

The man is a great artist and his works are great! (Love most of the designs here and his work on cybersleuth is lovely!)

Its just that my brain just associates him with cybersleuth and that game goes for a wayyy different tone.

I am also incredibly bad at tactical rpgs which didnt help

I dont play them often due to me being an absolute pussy and I dont want my favorite units dying forever.

Considering that, It was a bit of a shock hearing that this was one of the best entries in the entire series.

I heard it from multiple people which had me curious.

And at the start of last month, I decided to give it a go and my god im I glad I did. (well its not last month by the time im posting this, this review got left cooking too long)

SMT:DeSu (Can't call it DS, theres like 3 games that start with DS) is one of most deceiptfully amazing entries in the series.

Alot of things that should be bad are done so well that it goes back arround to being amazing

Alot of things are limited and simple (like the exploration) but in a good way. The game focuses on the best aspects of its simple gameplay loop.

Yeah thats the word to describe this game. Focused.

but I will elaborate on that later when talking about the usual gameplay. Lets start with the characters.

Okay, I thought I was walking into another landmine like Persona 4 but my god im so glad that wasnt the case

(might as well rip the bandaid in case I mention P4 again- I dont like Persona 4, it shows alot of potencial on the gameplay dept. with the "one more" system, the randomly generated dungeons and the calendar system. so much so that I am exited to play P3FES later this december but the writting and characters in 4 really... REALLY sucked dick. it was terrible.)

A huge chunk of the characters are fantastic and present such unique perspective of the usual law, chaos neutral allignments.

For Example:

Atsuro!

Atsuro is a loveable dork, every scene he is in is a joy, he is a really likeable character that has alot of chemistry with the rest of the cast

and he presents one of favorite representations of chaos in the entire series. A middle point between chaos and neutral, a world where demons are used for the benefit of humanity.

Yuzu, is a character that I was expecting to hate but she grew on me as the game went on! She is lovely! While yes her ending is kinda just... leaving but its an interesting take on neutral, refusing the influence of demons and the messages of angels to escape and live for another day even if it is cowardly and is ultimately forsaking humanity.

Keisuke is a character im not too much of a fan of after him being a fucking idiot with Yama but I like the overly extreme aproach to law and judgement he shows.

DeSu strays away from extremes like SMT4 to provide the upsides and downsides of every allignment, the beautiful middle points. This is one of the only games where all allignments are equal and that is an insane achievement.

On the topic of characters and allignements

Alot of characters go so damm well together and present such interesting scenarios like Keisuke and Kaido.

Polar oposites clashing, one seeking extreme judgement and the other seeking true power and nothing else.

I absolutely love it man. Gin, Haru, Shoji, Amane... NAOYA... N A O Y A MAN... I FUCKING LOVE HIM...

Okok enought screaming. So the characters are good, so much so that they drive the story and the way the game handles allignments seems sublime. what about the story these characters are in

So Kazuya (The Protagonist), Atsuro and Yuzu, three friends, all meet up one day in the Yamanote circle, unfortunately for them, a strange series of events involving demons suddenly starts a lockdown in the whole area locking them in.

Using the power of some strange portable computers that your cousin gave to you; you and your friends have to figure out how to end the lockdown, deal with the demons and evoid as many casualties as possible.

Its simple really simple but its executed well!

Thanks to the great character writing and other aspects like the protagonist being able to see how much time anyone has untill their death, it creates a story that makes you want to see more. How do you save these characters from dying, how will things escalate on the following days and so on. Its so much fun seeing where everything goes.

The setting of a lockdown is also the perfect excuse to limit exploration too!

I did mention previously that the exploration is really limited and simple and I feel its a good time to start elaborating on that and start talking about the general gameplay loop.

So, you have a limited number areas to go to and they are all laid out for you on a simple menu on the bottom screen. The main appeal is choosing where you want to go and who you spend time with, every interaction and conversation takes time (arround 30 in game minutes) and naturally you cant do everything in one go.

The loop consists of deciding who to hang out with as to get more information on the lockdown or just to form strong bond with them (which leads to the different endings), after a certain amount of time a combat scenario is triggered, after overcoming the challenge you can go back to checking arround town.

I like this aproach! Its extremely simple but efective.

While it does completely erase the idea of exploring the yamanote circle, I dont think a 3D hub would add much to begin with and it would only pad out time by having to walk from place to place and having to deal with random encounters often... oh yeah! the combat scenarios!

Hooo boy the combat. Ive been waiting to talk about this for a while. if there is one thing I like as much as the writing in this game is the combat scenarios.

So the combat scenarios are presented in a isometric perspective, utilizing a grid system like most tactical rpgs (Yknow like Front Mission and Final Fantasy Tactics).

Maps usually tend to be very big, which is a small gripe that I have with the game, not a big enought problem to make the game bad but still an issue. It takes a while to get everywhere without Devil Speed (A move that increases your move range) and your atack range is also pretty bad without Chaos Wave (everything has to be right in front of you to hit it which kinda sucks)

for the units that dont have either of those two skills, catching up can take a few more turns than it should.

you could argue this adds to the planing for each battle and that is true! it can be fun to mess arround with the huge map with some magic, like swap and animal leg. That is why I dont see this as a big issue but when you have to switch your teams quite often through the story due to having to to adapt to every fight... there will be those few times where you just dont have any skills to make things to faster which will drag things down a fair bit.

Ok so what about teams/units?

You usually have 3-4 teams on the field at all times. Those being composed of a friend/comp user (Atsuro, Yuzu, Keisuke, Midori, Naoya, etc) and two demons

You cant have one team with more than one comp user nor a team with three demons

It needs a singular comp user in the middle, having the role of the leader. Thats enought to register it as a team.

(img for reference)

Enemies work the same way.

You might ask why im explaining how units are formed and that is because its an integral part of combat

The actual combat! so this game uses another variation of press turn... because it woudnt be shin megami tensei without another variation on press turn.

(I say that but I love variations of press turn lmao)

as mentioned previously. three units, middle one is a leader

The main thing that makes that set up unique is that you can choose to make fights easier or harder on the fly.

Fights end instantly as soon as you kill the middle unit/leader but that will give you less exp compared to if you did kill every unit on that team.

So its a balancing act of knowing when to kill everything and when to not do so to maximize exp per characters.

Combat encounters are RUTHLESS in DeSu, they can dish out as much damage as you do and MAN is it tense. Sometimes going for every demon is a death sentence, sometimes its best to just end things fast and survive.

The skill crack system goes along with this great! what is a skill crack you might ask, the skill crack system is the main way you get new spells through the game. You select a stealable skill at the start of the combat scenario and have to kill a specific demon with a specific team you assigned for that demon. Once the specified unit kills the demon with the skill, you obtain that skill permanently and can switch it arround with your other skills.

Having to kill a very specific demon... which is often a demon on the side and not a leader.

sometimes stealing a skill is not worth it as the demon with said skill is way too strong, its best to cut your loses at times and just hope you can steal that skill some other time.

Its a small extra layer to the combat that I apreciate.

So what about that press turn variation huh. Extra Turn.

Extra Turn is simple, you get one more turn after using your turn, you get this by hitting the weakness of the demon or landing a critical hit.

As simple as that is, it helps a ton! several encounters can be ended in one turn if you are well prepared.

You can get your extra turn stolen by any demon with just a critical hit or them hitting your weakness. Its a good variation of press turn! maybe not as good as "One More" from Persona 3-5 or just regular press turn but its still good!

Its really fun! and its nice seeing all your planning pay off after a while

Planning fights is as fun as ever too, made even easier due to the demon auction.

You cant recruit demons mid combat scenario, just buy them at the auction.

Save up some cash, buy some demons, fuse those demons to create a really strong demon. normal megaten things. its as fun as ever, just you need to buy every demon

I would like to aknowledge the lack of a compendium... that was added in overclocked (I played the original version if that wasnt clear)

It wasnt unmanageable or anything mind you, I have beaten SMT1 so its not like im not used to this but its omision is strange.

So what about skills? the amount of magic skills here is smaller than the usual lineup. Light Magic and Dark magic has been completely omited

(there are a few instant kill spells but they are based arround if your character has a certain status effect like paralisis and so on)

Leaving only Fire, Wind, Ice, Thunder, Curse (for status effects) and Neutral as the only types of damage arround.

even then the amount of skills those types have is way smaller than usual which most likely was for balance.

Considering the freedom you have when building your leaders, I dont mind the smaller amount of spells, its less overwhelming.

Due to how flexible are the tools the game gives you in order to create your team, overcoming hard fight with better planing is so satisfying, I found myself frustrated several times only to be hit with so much bliss as soon as I beat a boss with a revamped team, its so damm satisfying.

Man I could keep going and going and going on about this game in more detail, I could go on with the magnetite system, how certain spells can break the late game and so on... but I feel its best you try it out for yourself.

I am trying my best to evoid mayor spoilers, there is... alot in this game for as simple as it is. Its fantastic

My only suggestion to ends things off is to turn on the ability to skip text by holding L + R, it makes retrying scenarios much faster (you will get your ass kicked).

The art is good, the CG backgrounds have held up really nicely, the gameplay is fun, the characters are great, the story is great, the soundtrack is good! (even if it gets tiresome by the end... yknow its the SMT1 problem where the music gets repeated often)

Devil Survivor is one hell of an RPG and trully one of the best in the entire series. I am glad I went ahead and played it

10/10

Hah... pretty bad review that I left in the drafts for a while huh... im glad its done. never forget that all my reviews are ramblings and that im no writter. have a good day

[her-canine-teeth]

Isobel by flower face - notes

pov jackie blue, pov shauna red (not rlly pov but. idk when its abt them)

You’ll never learn to lie

technically she lied to her pretty often so this is just not true. but it fits w the melody idk

say your French goodbye

idk how the French say goodbye. but shes like literlly saying her goodbye here and i think its funny bc nélisse is can french

Stay up in the blue glow, try to rearrange

theyre both staying up and its blue. jackie is trying to rearrange whats happening; she imagines shauna coming outside when, in reality, shauna is going to sleep.

All your insecurity and encyclopaedic rage

by rearranging what happens she automatically has to change what came before; the argument. put it in a context in which shauna is still her friend, still loves her, still comes outside and gets her. still cares for her.

ultimately she doesnt. (cant)

Do you still think you’re a killer?

shauna thinks its her fault

Or that you could be if you tried?

refers to jackie trying to banish shauna from the cabin and therefore out of her life (in a sense), which is p sure as close to killing for them as it gets I imagine. (codependency captial letters)

Always thought that you could do it if you couldn’t see their eyes

she did know that she loved shauna. didn't know how much, didn't know (or wasnt fully aware of).

she might've thought that she'd be able to get shauna to go one day, or to let her go; (she tried to, during the argument. personally i think she can't let shauna go farther than that though.)

as in; she wasnt aware of her codependency, and wouldve said that shes able in any way to cut shauna off but! she literally never thought about that being an option, or a possibility like ever (she literally had their whole future - together - planned out) so. do with that what you will

[talking]

its supposed to be a flashback idk if thats obvious; ties together what both of them think about (the arguing scene); what haunts them, both of them, for the rest of their lives (though Jackies is significantly shorter.)

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

she does probably

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

jackie stays after her death. shaunas not allowing herself to move on, forever doomed to not only like have ur bff die on you which is honestly bad enough but to see her physically. not bc she wants to in that sense but bc she has to (needs to. cant live without her, though she never really lived all that much with her neither)

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

doesnt have much to do with the scene. BUT their names have the same meaning. do you wish your parents gave you someone elses name. do you wish we werent connected from birth. do you wish we wouldnt share such an important aspect of our self. do you wish you never knew me (like you did). do you wish we were never best friends. do you wish we never met.

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

cheating.

You used to hold your body like a gun

turning away from shauna/rejection (physical. as soccer players their body is like prettyy important to them, and on top of that is their physicality with each other and yk. being teenage girl i guess anywaysss i thinj all of that sorta amplifies to The Body being v v important also for whatever theve got going on GOD i cant think)

Now you give yourself to anyone

(shauna pov but its abt jackie) condemning her bc shes with travis. 'anyone' inn the sense of 'anyone other than me (shauna)' or maybe 'who the fuck is travis' (hes not important. a faceless shadow in a crowd consisting of only him)

Are you right back where you started,

pining over jackie

Or have you found another way?

consuming her completely. without any objections

Sugar rush, a stranger’s backyard, the devil’s holiday

yeah idk

You watch yourself in fragments, amongst the leaves,

'yourself' because. they're one.

And you conclude that you never were much more

Than a reflection in a pool

the power shauan had over jackie; jackie asking herself who she is without shauna. If she is without shauna. if she ever was even with shauna, or not; never more than a reflection of her, a poor imitation, bound to break on the smallest ripple.

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

Do you still wake up wrapped around an empty space?

Do you only know the good days once they’ve slipped away?

Do you wish that he would call you by another name?

Do you pour another drink out for the same mistakes?

[scarisd3ad]

Till the end [steve harrington x f!reader] zombie apocalypse!au

Chapter one

Masterlist

Taglist

Next

Steve didn't really remember when he had fell asleep during his lunch break but he guessed he did.

He lifts his head up off of the table glancing back at the wall clock. It was 5:30. His lunch was at 12:45 and he was supposed to be off 2 hours ago. Robin was doing the closing shit today, why the hell didn't she wake him up he thinks to himself.

"Hey robs why didn't you wake me up?!" He shouts. He can't see anyone through the translucent window, and he can't hear the normally loud sounds of scoops and the mall. There was no way barely anyone was here. It was a Friday during the summer. He pops his neck as he stood up. He was supposed to go to his girlfriends once he got off, but he guessed he was just going to have to call her, hoping she'd forgive him. "Robs?" Still no answer god could she not here him. Then he spots a piece of paper taped to the door. It was short, the hand writing was messy like the person leaving it was in a hurry. The hand writing was definitely robins though.

DONT LET THEM BITE!

He furrows his brows. Don't let who bite? He thinks he gulps as he walks up to the door pushing it open. Scoops is a mess. Chairs pushed around, tables laying on the ground, blood everywhere. The mall was also equally a mess. Blood why was there blood though. Then he spots one. A groaning, stumbling, person?

He doesn't bother calling out to it he's seen enough zombie movies to know better.

Then he sees another, and another. One was feasting on a woman's barely recognizable body and her infant. He felt like he was going to throw up. How was he even going to get out of here was his second thought but his first was immediately worrying about y/n. Where was she and was she safe.

He knew he had to get out of here, to his car, and to her house, just to make sure she was safe.

He quickly retreated back to the break room to grab his things first, and some kind of weapon. He scrambles around grabbing his keys, and anything he thinks he'd need. He finds some type of metal pipe he thinks will work amazingly then he sets off.

He has the pipe over his shoulder to swing at any moment. He quietly walks out into the mall trying not to alert any of those things but he immediately does. One quickly turns around, sniffing before running at him. Steve swings hitting the thing straight in the head. Then he runs like the wind, he's quiet plan wasnt going to work. He had to get out as soon as possible. So he ran having at least five of those things chasing after him, he finds the first door to the parking lot and bolts out of it. Keeping them on the other side banging at the metal door.

The parking lot is in a similar situation as the mall. Cars askew dead body's. The parking lot is mostly empty except for the few brain dead things? Stumbling around. Steve sees his car and bolts towards it. He unlocks his car as he sprints towards the car. His foot steps somehow draw every one of those things in the parking lot towards him though.

As soon as he's at his car he opens the door, gets in and closes it, locking every door. he puts the key into the ignition of the car and turns it. The car growls as it starts up drawing even more. every one of them are banging at the glass of his car. They're covered in blood in guts, his heart is beating a mile a minute. He feels like he's going to cry. What if she's dead, what if she's one of those brain dead mother fuckers, what if he was just too late. He'd blame himself forever if he found out she died.

Their hand prints are smearing on the glass as they bang. He's scared their going to break the glass so he hits on the gas pulling out of the parking lot, and definitely hitting a few on the way out.

The streets of hawkins and basically the same, full of those things, and blood. Everything is recked, cars, houses. It looked like someone just stole everything living and replaced it with zombies. Windows are broken cars are crashed, it's terrible.

As he approaches her house his heart is leaping out of his chest. He's praying to god she's in there, alive.

Her house was crowded in the front. He sees her sister among some of the brainless bunch moaning and growling at his car. He wonders how she died, how she felt as she passed on turning into one of them. He sighs as he grabs his pipe from the backseat before turning off his car and pocketing his keys.

Getting to her door was the hardest part. He had to kill a bunch of those things, and then once he got to the door it was locked. He should've known that. He's covered in blood now, and even more of those things are coming towards him. He hops the fence to her backyard and sighs in relief as he sees none of them are back there. He pulls himself onto the roof, just like he did many times during high school, and carefully walks towards her window.

He relieved with he sees her balled up on her mattress.Her door is barricaded and she has a kitchen knife clutched in her left hand.

He taps on the glass a few time. He doesn't mean to scare her but she jumps. She has a frightened look on her face and tears stained cheeks.

"Oh my god"she sighs as she sees him. Relieved to see him. She unlocks the door pulling him into her room before locking it back. "Stevie" she says hugging him. He sighs with a smile as he's comforted by a familiar hug. He wraps his arms around her, as he presses a kiss on top of her head. "I thought you died, are you okay?" She asks as she pulls back examining him for any bites.

"I'm fine, are you okay?" He asks, "scared, my mom she came home but sh..she was acting weird" she says before burying her face into his shoulder as tears fell down her cheeks. "She bite my sister they are both one of those things now" she crys into his shoulder. He's rubbing her back as he asks "where's your dad" she shrugs in response.

He sighs as he decided they need to leave. This place wasn't safe they needed to get as far away as possible. "Your dad has a gun right?" She pulls away brows furrowed. She nods "yeah? Why?"

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

trying to go to sleep but my brain just decided to remind me of. c!dream living in de walls. c!dream mentioning c!tommy first in the l’manberg declaration of war and nearly forgetting everyone else. c!dream taking c!tommy’s first two canon lives. c!dream accepting a loss to his power- his perfect, happy family- in exchange for symbolic control over c!tommy. church prime. c!dream declaring himself god and c!tommy his prophet. c!dream giving c!tommy specifically gifts for pogtopia and a very personal letter to try and explain himself. c!tommy’s admiration for c!dream and his despair at being betrayed. c!tommy stepping down as president because he knew his and c!dream’s story wasnt over.

c!dream spending weeks meticulously framing c!tommy. “i don’t give a fuck about spirit.” c!dream taking pains to condition c!tommy into not only obedience but friendship. c!tommy viewing the abuse as bonding moments. c!dream sabotaging the party so c!tommy would believe only he cared. playing games with tridents together. protegeinnit. c!dream specifically not blowing up his own tent in logstedshire, so he could always come back. “he was here to watch me”. c!tommy desperately calling for c!dream when distressed. c!dream constantly looking for c!tommy even though he had no reason other than his own. 

the community house. doomsday. “you’re too fun.” a prison built with every trigger c!tommy has. a compass. c!dream forcing c!tommy to choose between his freedom or c!tubbos life. the mock execution. threatening to torture c!tommy forever. a spectacle for him. to make him beg and beg and beg. c!dream slinking back when c!tommy threatens to kill himself. c!dream desperately begging to c!tommy that they’re friends before pulling out the revival card.

c!tommy seeking closure. a book asking why. c!dream constantly affirming it wasn’t that bad. conditioned friendship and a knife in the wound. “my friends, my items, you.” c!dream brainwashing c!Ranboo to drop the bombs to keep c!tommy trapped. it’ll be just like exile. ““that’s the tommy I know.”” death used as a form of punishment. c!dream threatening c!tommy with immortality through a cheerful facade. c!tommy desperately begging to be c!dream’s friend. c!dream declining to torture him further. ghostbur’s death.

c!dream immediately crawling to logstedshire after the prison break. “i’ll kill you then revive you then kill you again.”” threats in friendly, casual tones. c!dream chasing and torturing c!tommy so much there was a blooper death. c!tommy deciding there was no point in life anymore. c!tommy deciding he was already c!dream’s puppet, pet, plaything (to quote him directly). the torture mixtape. ““miss me? :)”” the signs everywhere.

c!dream always looking at c!tommy, always. c!tommy falling into extreme paranoia when c!dream’s name is as much as mentioned. c!tommy hiding in a cave addicted to invisibility because he’s so scared of being seen. c!dream hiding in a decaying prison writing on the walls. c!tommy’s horror at the idea of killing c!dream even if he is his abuser. c!dream turning from surprise from c!clingy’s attack to tormenting c!tommy specifically immediately after.

c!clingy’s life only being spared because they begged and begged in terror. c!dream dragging c!tommy to the prison and beating him further when he refused to obey. burning c!tubbo’s items but keeping c!tommy’s in his inventory.  an experiment that either leaves him a test subject or has him as the one person defying c!dream as always. c!tommy falling into feeling helpless again once his symbols of freedom were destroyed. ““dream doesn’t want me dead.””

c!dream laughing at c!tommy’s pain like it’s entertainment. c!dream blaming c!tommy for everything even as c!tommy tries to show him kindness. murder and instant revival again to prove a point. pausing at a sense of understanding he’d have been furious for anyone else having. “i don’t want to be alone” as an explanation for tearing someone’s life apart. dying hand in hand the only way to end the cycle, and it starting up anew regardless.

c!primeboys makes me go so fucking bonkers like MAN. why tf is this in a minecraft roleplay this is insane the fucking themes and layers… and idk which ones are even INTENDED which makes it just so much more fucking one of a kind. i love them. they make me insane /pos

[ennaku-sirri-da]

Jimbit (Jimothan X Habit) watches a movie HCs courtesy of me and Mika [Part 4 ]

Jimbit( I literally love writing the ship name like one person) watching a movie and habit is in suspense so he grabs jimbo......Hes moving in closer😳(flustered emoji)

Honestly like all those ''I dont know personal space'' things Habit does that Jimothan was just like haha lol before must be really flustering now.

For sure!!! He’s trying to act cool but now he cant sit still hes not even really watching the movie

He’s watching....HABIT!!!!(plain text: Habit!!!)

He tries to do the (yawn, arm around you) thing but Habit thinks hes actually tired and gets up to grab him a blanket

Parsley in the corner: hey Kam could you reign in your husband over there god

Kamal: nah

Jimothan is like WHAT (plain text: What) can you sit down? please dont leave me this part is so scary actually!! what if the bad guy shoots him😭(sobbing emoji)

Parsley: dude hes destroying my dad over there WTF dude

Kamal: so? he should be used to it by now thats his problem

I’m sorry dude I’d help you out but Rose has me in a contract ''not to interfere with Jimbit’‘

(Rose is the Flower Kid of this AU and hes my self insert and a bitch😁(smiling emoji))

rose and buddy always tag along but only to supervise and giggle in the BG

(Buddy is my friend Mika’s sona\OC! And Habit plus Kamal’s other husband hee hee )

Parsley: Kamal please....For our friendship

Kamal: Parsley bro do you want me to live or die rn?

Parsley: What does that little kid even have on you? dude this is pathetic

Kamal: He said he'll steal my firstborn child

Parsley: What fucking child?

Kamal:um.....

Parsley: oh Kamal no not that shit again oh my god dude

Context: Kamal is a Marvel nerd and he believes hes pregnant\going to carry the Spiderman X Deadpool child across the astral plane. Hes really serious about his RP.

Jimothan is like Chellam (means something like Darling) please sit down🥺(pleading emoji)

Jimothan pulls out the nicknames when the situation is critical

🤭(giggling emoji) !!! Habit agrees to stay but only if the sleepyhead lets him hold Jim through the scary parts. Habit will be the blanket( He is very warm with lots of hair and fur!!!)

They sit like Habit behind him, sprawled out on the couch and holding Jimothan in front of him and trying to encircle him. if Jim wasnt sleepy before he sure starts to be.

Habit kisses him on the hair and hums into it. Imagine feeling that deep voice reverberating through you, holy shit. Also Habit copying the Buddy purrs....🥺(pleading emoji)❤️(heart emoji) 

Context: Buddy has cat traits!!

Parsley: Bro I can’t watch this. Can we just leave for a bit?

Kamal: Nope, I’m invested now.

 If it comforts you its the best feeling ever when he purrs into you like that. It transports me right to Habit Hell, heh

Parsley: I feel worse now

Kamal has popcorn and Pars needs a new friend group desperately. He is absolutely traumatized.

Parsley: I’m sorry but you all are a bit too '''invested''' in romancing my dang dad

Kamal: Does it help if I like your other dad more....If you could put in a good word with him that'd mean a lot actually--- (cut off)

Parsley: No and No

Context: Kamal thinks Trencil is hot and wants to be friends but they’re forever  un-friends after kamal yelled '’NOT TODAY SATAN!!!!’’ [plain text: Not today Satan!!!] at him when he was habitician-hunting with Mirphy (Mirphy and Kamal rounded up a lot of Habiticians for Habit starting out in this AU)

He almost staked him with a garlic necklace yelling. It was embarrassing.

So he’s just vaguely flustered around Trencil and Trencil ignores him LOL.

[ GIF: The Looney Tunes end screen with ‘’Thats all Folks!’’ in cursive. The BG is a red circle in progressively smaller parts with shading. The innermost circle is dark blue. end ID]

For now!! 😁(smiling emoji)

-----------

For @zeromet A very talented person whose @askpabit blog you should check out...!!

And heres the fanfics you asked for! (not by me)

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1460020 (links to The Habit-Botch Fambily [translated: The Habit-Botch Family] by asandygraves on Ao3)

They are extremely sweet and I hope you enjoy reading them if you have time and\or can! I think this is what got me into Jimbit haha...🥰(smiling face surrounded by hearts emoji)

[phobiapup]

just feeling scared. struggling with hope as usual.. and really wanting all the darkness to go away. we really want to fly away and live in the rainbow clouds with the girl im in love with and my cat puppies...

please forgive me i dont know how to be a person i dont know what hunger is even when i feel its aching in my limbs

we are terrified that in the future i will end up leaving my love in this world earlier than either of us will be ready for.. i cant even handle to think these worries too much its too much its gut wrenching i dont want to go yet i dont i want to i want to stay i want to live i want to live the life ive been longing for the whole time!!!! this cant be it this cant be all of it i cant handle it all being over before i even get to be free for a moment i want to see past the walls of my cage i dont want it to end while im still tied down i dont want to die here i didnt even get a real chance ive never had my own life i didnt get to live yet i havent lived i dont want to die because of my self inflicted sickness please i dont want my own hands to be the ones that end me.

i dont want to know the cold dirty bathroom floor so so well

i wish that would help me to stop this. i dont know if i will ever be able to stop this ive never stopped wanting to be nothing but bones. i can only bury the feeling it always climbs its way back out

but i truly really dont want that at all... iwant to be soft and i dont mind to be squishy and i like being hugged and i want to be able to eat foods that smells yummy

i wnana eat snacks and then play game witj my girlfirend because the snack gave me energy i want to be warm under my blanket i want to feel like i can hold myself up

and yet why whywhy why why cant i just open my eyes im prying them open im screaming in my own ears but i still cant fucking see i cant hear im trying i swear i am i will try forever for her sake for her for her i will keep trying i want to live in a world where he is with me and i am with her always i will keep trying

i wasnt always like this i dont remember it but i know i know this wasnt born from me i know my trauma caused my illness but that doesnt mean i dont have to be the one to work to recover

im the one who isnt eating im the one who doesnt want the food in my body im the one doing this to me

im the one who is letting it all slip away

i want so desperately to heal i want to give myself a chance

i want to be alive i want to live i want to love my wife i want to wake up with her and go to sleep by her i want to hold her i want to cook and taste food together i want to help her live too

i want to raise and care for my animal babies i want to have children and see them grow safe and happy

i want to breathe air that doesnt come with a hook and line attached

i want to be with her forever

..im terrified of recovery. im so so so so so scared

but i am grateful to be able to say that my love for my wife and family transcends that fear. i am lucky enough that he holds my hand and keeps me steady. im learning to walk again with her

i will live past this i will live through this i will live alongside her seeing her smile hearing her laugh her cry her warmth

our love is only just growing into a cute bulb i want to be there with her when it fully blooms

i wont miss a thing i swear to fucking god im not leaving im not leaving yet i havent even been able to fully express the entirety of my love for her. i still have so much love to give.

please let me stay

please!!!

[tobi-momo]

A Misunderstanding

PAIRING: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

GENRE: Angst | Hurt/Comfort | Reverse Comfort

WARNINGS: a lot of crying from both you and kuroo | cursing | mentions of sex | cheating (kind of? youll know when reading) | angst | mentions of drinking/being drunk | nothing is suggestive!! oh ya yall are married btw

WORD COUNT: 3k

A/N: ok ik this is long but this idea came from literally nowhere but i decided to write it thank you @combat-wombatus for helping me you helped put ideas in my brain<333 now i wasnt originally going for a happy ending but im really bad at angst so enjoy the shitty ending :)

“Please, Y/n, you know I didn't mean it,” he pleaded, his large hands desperately grabbing at your form while you push him away, your breaking sobs making his heart shatter. “Please, baby, don’t leave me,” he begs, falling on his knees in front of your trembling body, not being able to tear his eyes off of your heartbroken ones. He needed you to stay. He needed to show you that he isn’t that guy and that he would do anything for you. It was a one time thing. He wasn’t even sober. It wasn’t him. It was the alcohol. He wasn’t thinking straight. Please forgive him, please, please, please.

But you couldn’t. No matter how hard or how much you loved him and wanted to, the pain that ripped at your heart every time you looked at him was too much to bear. So you didn’t. You turn your blurry, glassy eyes away from him as he grabs your hand and forces it into his; your lips quivering and knees shaking. You couldn’t keep the betrayal and agony inside, whining and weeping at him, your knees giving out before your legs slam against the floor, your head near the carpet as you try and keep your affliction at bay.

“Y/n, please,” he whines, tears streaming down his pale cheeks; his admission of his unfaithfulness drained the color from his face. “Please forgive me, I need you, I love you so much.”

“W-” you sniffle, not knowing what to say. You knew you didn’t have to say anything at all, that you didn’t owe him any words, but you just...you just needed to know. “Why,” your voice quivered and cracked, your throat sore, “why did you,” you take a long breath, grabbing your chest to try and stop the heartache, the sudden cramp that formed where it used to be filled with warmth and love, “do this to me? With her?” You look up at him once with wide, searchful eyes as you ponder the reasons and look for the answers in his empty pupils.

“I wasn’t thinking straight, baby, I didn’t know what I was doing, please,” his voice stammers, trying to get you to understand that he really didn’t know what he was doing. “I would never do this to you, I-” “But you did.” Your tone is no longer sad and confused, but angry and fed up. His head backing up quickly, not expecting the response. “You made a promise, Tetsurou, remember?” You glare at him with menacing eyes as you hold up the very finger he kissed and placed the ring on on your wedding day. The beautiful diamond ring that had his initials carved in the interior and little gorgeous jewels that made the walls sparkle once hit with the hot sun was no more; the dark, gloomy piece of rock and metal meaning nothing but lies and mistrust.

“No, Y/n, please. Don’t do this to me,” he adjures guiltily.

“Don’t do this to you?” Your voice laced with deadly venom, standing and backing up, wiping your mouth with your hand in annoyance, placing it on your hip. “You did this to me! You did this to us! You went out! You got drunk! You fucked someone else! And not even a random girl! No! You just had to fuck your ex!” Your voice cracked again before you inhaled sharply and covered up your struggle.

“Y/n, I didn’t know what I was doing!”

“And that’s an excuse?? What, so now you can go fuck whoever you want and say ‘I didn’t know what I was doing!’” you mimic, “so you can get away with it every time?”

He didn’t answer. He looked at the ground, understanding exactly where you came from.

“Hm? Are you gonna answer me, or sit there like a coward?”

He could tell fully well you were just saying this because you were hurt. You didn’t mean any of it. You loved him. No matter what, you will always love him. Trusting him was out of the box for a while, maybe forever. But he can’t lose you. He knew you were soulmates- he knew you were made for each other. There was a reason you guys made it this far and only had big problems now. He needed to find that reason and use it for himself to win you back. He needed you back.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, your dramatic hand gestures coming to a halt at his words, your figure coming to a stand still as you wait for him to finish. “You don't deserve this. You don’t deserve me. Please know that it was a mistake and that I’ll never do it again ever, ever, ever,” he repeats, wanting it to sound as sincere as he means. “Just please give me a chance to make this up to you, please don’t leave me by myself without you,” he sobs out, putting his head in his hands.

You knew you shouldn’t feel bad for him. But god-fucking-dammit are you feeling bad for him. You knew you still loved him, you knew he still loved you- that much was obvious. You couldn’t see him for a while, no. Could you guys work it out? Maybe stitch the wound? Wait until the scar is barely visible anymore? Would that even work?

“Tetsurou,” a single, hot tear dripping down your face as you point to the ground. “I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”

“I know, I know, just please give me a chance to help fix this!” He cries at your feet, his body bundled in a ball of self hatred and guilt. “I can do it, baby. I can help things go back to normal.”

“I don’t think they ever will be normal again.”

He whines, trying to negotiate with you as much as he can. “Let me fix us. Let me give you my everything again, let me show you that I’m all yours and no one else's, please,” he moans in anticipation for rejection, knowing the chances of you agreeing were next to zero.

The next few hours are silent. Him alone in the bedroom. Crouching on the floor as he ponders your possible answer. You work in the kitchen, making food to satisfy your appetite. He could hear your sniffles from the bedroom and picture you wiping your tears as you carry the pots on the stove. God, he was the biggest piece of shit ever known. What the fuck went through his mind when he was fucking his ex? He only remembers some of it, them waking up in bed together after, only wearing undergarments underneath the sheets and him holding her waist as if she were you. He thought they had ended on good terms, knowing that they were better as friends. He rushed out the door, not being able to stay in the same room without getting sick. He knew what he had to do.

He opens the door to the living room, a slight creak gaining your attention as you stir the sauce in the pan. Your eyes are puffy, your lip still trembling as you try to turn away from him. He only takes about two steps forward before he stops, trying to find the words he wants to say.

“Listen, I know you said you needed time, and I’m not rushing you at all whatsoever. I want to give you all the time in the world to think this over. If you need, I can go to Kou’s house and stay there for a while. He won’t mind. I just want to give you the space you deserve.”

You nod in response, your head still facing away before he whispers an “I love you” before he slips out of the apartment.

~.~.~.~

The next few days were tortue. Not being able to sleep in the same bed he would sleep in with you, not being able to watch the same tv shows, not being able to even be in his presence at least once a day like you used to melted a hole of despair inside you: eating away at your emptiness, taking away the numbness that you so desperately needed right now. The feeling came back- the one that you tried shutting out three hours ago. It crept up at you, flipping your stomach and weighing your lungs down to the floor, your throat sore and dry. Your eyes wet with a blurry wall as your tears build up once again, missing your cheeks as you crouch down looking at the floor, falling on the tile. The droplets containing your anguish splatter on the ground, your raggedy whimpers echoing throughout the vacant apartment, making it all the more obvious he wasn’t there.

Knock knock knock

Was that the door?

Your wide, unbelieving eyes turned to the wooden door frame; the knocks getting louder and faster. You quickly stand up and try to collect yourself, preparing to have a long talk with Tetsurou. You grab the handle, turning it- the door opening with a tiny creak.

Oh.

“Hi! Kuroo left his jacket at the party the other day, is he here?”

Oh, that bitch.

“No. He’s not.” You deadpan, not finding her cheery, happy expression amusing.

“Oh no! Uh, well, here, can you give this back to him for me?”

“Stop smiling at me like you aren’t part of the reason he’s gone.” You snark, glaring at her with sharp eyes as she backs up, confused.

“W-what?”

“You heard me. Don’t act fucking clueless.”

“Excuse me? Who are you to talk to m-”

“Oh, cut the shit,” you roll your eyes, “I know you slept with Tetsurou, you don’t need put on whatever the fuck this is,” you gesture at her.

“What the hell are you talking about? What are you, fucking crazy?” Your eyes narrow in confusion, your disgusted scowl lessening at her words.

“Right. You probably don’t remember because you were blacked out,” you add sarcastically. “He told me what you guys did. Now you know. So, I would love it if you would just leave.”

“What are you- Me and Kuroo didn’t do shit last night. I drank like two beers and was hanging out with another girl the entire time,” she explains, looking offended. Your face loosens into an expression she couldn’t read. “He blacked out early and passed out on the couch while I was busy talking with the other girl.”

“Huh?” You whisper, your disoriented thoughts not aligning to a proper conclusion.

“I didn’t go to bed until like,” she thought back, “I don’t know, three in the morning? There were people passed out on the floor so I decided to take the guest bedroom with her. I was still awake when Kuroo came into the room, I’m guessing because he thought it was yours, based off of how he kept mumbling your name and shit,” she exhales, “he grabbed onto me once he got in and just clung.” You glower at her, huffing. She sees this, sighing before continuing, “Calm down, remember nothing happened. Remember that girl? She ended falling off the bed because I was scooting away from his clingy ass.” You look at her blankly, trying to fit the pieces together. “She ended up leaving the party completely,” she mumbled in embarrassment before you speak up.

“Then why did he tell me you guys had sex?” You mutter quietly, although assuming she heard since her head backed up while she quickly scoffs.

“I swear to God, that man. Listen.” You look up into her eyes- her genuine eyes. “Me and Kuroo didn’t do a single thing. I didn’t do anything to him and he didn’t do anything to me. I’ll have a conversation with him later because he is an absolute dumbass,” she breathed.

What the fuck?? You were just supposed to believe her?

“How am I supposed to believe that?”

“Me and him ended a long time ago. I don’t like him like that and I haven’t for a while. And seeing he was bragging about you the entire time at the party, he’s over me, too. Besides, I’m not even into guys that much anymore anyways,” she grinned and winked at you. The shock and realization hit you like a truck. She wasn’t even- oh my God. She chuckled at your expression; you ran away from her to the counter to get your phone, quickly unlocking it and tapping on Tetsurou’s contact.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mumble over and over. To tap the call button, listening to it ring as you bring your phone up to your ear, hearing him pick up the phone almost immediately after.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” He sounded worried. It’s only been about a week, he had hoped that you weren’t going to leave him.

“Get over here, right now, Tetsurou.” Your voice made it seem like it was urgent, so he quickly picked up his jacket from the couch, and you could hear the jingling of his keys as he grabbed them and opened the door, almost slamming it shut once he left.

~.~.~.~

“Y/n?” He asked at the open front door, wondering why it wasn’t closed. “Y/n, you have to be careful and close the door, we have them for a reason, you know,” he said as he walked in. Even after being at the line of a break-up, he still cares for your well-being. He didn’t even do anything wrong and he was still caring for you as a loved one should. He always did everything to make you feel comfortable and safe, so once he knew that he had slept with his ex he was completely devastated to his core. He didn’t want to do this to you, but you had the right to know.

“Tetsu.” You called. Already back to nicknames? This is good, right?

“Yes? Y/n?” He was scared, to say the least, feeling awkward and not knowing what to do. He walked scarcely towards your figure sitting on the couch, not caring to drop his keys and jacket on the counter. He had a feeling this might go wrong.

“We need to talk.” Shit. This is exactly what he didn’t want to hear. Hearing those words he couldn’t help but think that you were going to make him pack his stuff and go. “So, I talked with your ex.” You speak slowly, not wanting your words to come out wrong. You don’t want him to take any of this in a bad way at all. Yet his eyes widen drastically, his heartbeat racing and his nerves pricking him. “You are just one big dummy, aren’t you?”

What? What are you talking about?

“What?”

“You didn’t sleep with her. She told me everything that happened that night. She’s not even into guys anymore. Tetsu-”

This couldn’t be happening. Not only did he accuse himself of cheating, he accused himself of cheating with his ex, and that he cheated with his ex at a party, while you two are married. And then it turns out it wasn’t true? What the hell was wrong with him? He jeopardized your entire relationship because he was too drunk to know what was going on.

“Wait, what?” He yells, angrily sitting down on the couch, “so you’re telling me-” you nodded and hummed an ‘mhm’ in response. His hands find their way to his hair, pulling at the roots and scratching his scalp, his low grunts of pain and fury seeping out of his throat as he frustratingly comprehends what he just did.

You rush over to him, grabbing his wrists and pushing them down to his lap as fast as you can, making his eyes find their way to your blown out pupils. You can see the hot tears prickle down his cheek as he frowns at you, completely and utterly defeated.

“Tetsu, I don’t want you to hurt yourself, it’s okay,” you reassure, giving him a happy smile. He wanted to smile back, but he couldn’t control the broken sob that escaped him. “Hey, hey,” you try to grab his attention as he pulls his head down, crying. “It’s okay, baby, it’ll be okay.” You wrap your arms around his head, protecting him as you softly coo and ‘shh’ him quietly in his ear. ‘I’m sorry’ kept coming out of his mouth as he clinged to you, not being able to help his want to be closer to you. The realization that he just almost broke your heart completely and he had worried about divorce for this shit made him want to just rip his scalp out. He was so stupid. So, so so, stupid. “Tetsu, look at me, please. Look at me,” you whisper, bringing your hand to his chin, dragging it up so you could catch sight of his hazel irises. His eyes red and puffy, his cheeks wet and his eyes droopy, you couldn’t do anything but frown at the sight. He hated himself right now, not wanting to face the embarrassment and the humiliation of the situation.

“You don’t deserve me, I’m so sorry,” he whimpered in your arms, gripping them tighter and tighter for comfort- you knowing that he needed it right now. You had already pulled him into your chest, feeling his wet tears soak your shirt, your hands rubbing his back and your fingers gently grazing his throbbing scalp.

“It’s okay, I forgive you, Tetsu, you did the right thing by telling me you did it instead of hiding it from me, and then it turns out you didn’t do it at all.” Your cheeks start to feel hot, and you don’t even realize your sniffles until you could feel a dam break at your water line. You couldn’t stop them, the tears of relief. You didn’t want to stop them. You were glad that they were her, glad that they were for him, glad they were because you knew the truth, glad because you knew you two would be okay.

You looked back at your ring, watching it bloom like a flower in the spring, the meaning coming back to your marriage. It wasn’t just metal and rock anymore, it was a gorgeous promise.

“I love you, Tetsurou. Don’t forget that. You’re staying with me, alright?” you whisper into his hairline.

“Thank you,” he cries.

taglist: @solar3lunar @flattykawadoorusmilkbread @toosharkinternet @hitosushi @alpha3113 @awmahleebkg

haikyuu taglist: @pies-writes-and-more @luvrboykento

REQUESTS: OPEN

reblogs are appreciated :))

[panickingpansexuality]

I know I said no porn but this is for a friend so MINORS DO NOT INTERACT YOU WILL BE BLOCKED IF SO.

This is a smut story, a lemon. Do not touch if you are not over the age of 18!

Y/n sat on the couch turning off SCREAM 5 and sighed. Shittiest fucking movie ever, they had to kill off his favorite characters the man of his dreams.

He didn't want to think about it again so he got up and put in the first one, he went back to the couch and chuckled to himself. Gale really fumbled the bag in the later movies.

How could anyone want to let go of that man?!

Y/n wasnt fond of the police because they constantly abuse their power and murder the innocent but-Deputy Dewy is someone they'd risk it all for, he'd fuck 12 for real.

The thought of fucking the young police officer made him feel the blood rush below, he looked at the movie and then down at his pants.

Rubbing one out couldn't be that bad. Y/n paused the movie right on Dewys face and started his fantasy.

Slowly the fantasy started to unfold and y/n let out a low moan that echoed through the room. He kept going and after a while he wished it was dewy and not his own hand.

"Dewy please!" He moaned out, energy coursing throughout his body.

Then there was a knock on the door. At first y/n ignored it but the second time it was more urgent. Y/n sighed amd fixed himself wiping his hands on his plain black shirt before going to the door.

He nearly fainted.

"Uh hi," the voice said in a rush "I'm sorry to bother you but I was at my job and then suddenly I open my eyes and I'm here."

Deputy fucking Dwight Riley.

He looked exactly like he did in the first movie except more confused than ever.

"Come on in...uhm I'm y/n." Y/n said.

"Thanks!" The officer said taking off his cap and coming inside.

"So," y/n said. "You're not a cosplayer right? Or high? Or both?"

"No! God no." Dwight said, "here." He pulled out badge and ID card, y/n gently took it from his hands and examined it. It was the real deal.

"Wow.." y/n said. "Uh ok so it's not the 1990s anymore."

"What?" Dewy said.

"Yeah, uh you better come and sit down."

Y/n took Dwight to their living room, where an unopened envelope now sat on their coffee table, the movie still paused on Dewys face.

Y/n took the envelope and opened it while Dwight sat down completely amazed.

In gold letters the letter read:

"Dear y/n I noticed life was being a bitch and since Dwight needs laid in the first movie so very badly I decided to work my magic and bring him to you. He wont be able to leave until you guys at least fuck once in the next 24 hours or he'll be stuck here forever and eventually die.

Have fun

- God."

"Oh fuck." Y/n said.

"What?" Dwight asked.

Y/n sighed, this would take a while.

After about ten minutes of explaining and another five for answering questions Dwight and y/n sat on the couch neither of them speaking for some time until Dewy sighed, he stood up and began to take off his jacket.

Y/n completely startled wachter with a flushed face, unable to look away.

"Have you done this before?" Y/n asked nervously.

"Uh a few times.." Dewy admitted with pink cheeks.

"A few people in college but not recently.."

"Cool." Y/n says looking away.

"Are you ok with this? Dewy asked stopping the strip show, he sat back down and y/n looked over at him and kissed him.

"Please," he whimpered out.

Dwight returned the kiss with more fever, it wasnt the most ideal way to get laid but for one the person that he was now pressing into the couch was hot and two they both wanted this.

Dwight pulled away to help y/n take off their shirt, underneath Dwight groaned at the sight and went for their neck to start to kiss down their neck to their chest

"So pretty for me baby.." Dwight said

His voice was husky and rough, y/n groaned in response.

While Dwight kissed their chest his other hand went down their pants.

"Were you touching yourself before I got here?" Dwight asked in a breathless voice.

"Yeah.." y/n said embaressed.

"Fuck that's hot."

Dwight went for their lips, slowly sucking on the bottom one, while his hand went to play with what whas under their jeans.

Y/n whimpered grinding their hips into the hand that was touching them.

"I wanna," y/n tried to plead out between kisses "I wanna suck you off. Please."

Dewy groaned into the kiss and pulled away.

"God you're so fucking good for me y/n. Such a pretty boy for me."

Y/n had to hold back a whimper, they were almost at the point of not caring but just not quite yet.

"C'mon baby." Dwight said pulling them from their thoughts, "be a good boy for me."

And there went the caring.

Y/n whimpered and nodded, they took off what was left of their clothes and sat in between Dwight's legs.

Dwight groaned at the sights his hand went to the side of their face cupping it as the man pulled open his zipper with their mouth.

Dwight unbuttoned his pants and took out his cock for them. Greedily y/n started on it not giving Dewy any time to prepare himself.

Fuck. They had Dewy moaning like a bitch so quickly, they were good, really good. Their mouth was like heaven and their hands were just as good.

Y/n felt like their mind was going numb this was a dream come true for them, the only thing on their mind right now was making sure Dewy felt good.

"Y/n." Dewy groaned out "Fuck, get off baby I'm gonna cum."

There was no way in Hell he was getting off yet. Y/n took as much if Dewy into their mouth as possible, gagging on the sensations. Dewys hips stuttered and he moaned loudly as he came.

Y/n knew he hadn't done it in a while but Dewy was spent up, he had to pull away unable to swallow all of it, and when he looked over there were still drops coming out.

Y/n went forward and licked what was left off. Dewy nearly came again watching.

"You really havent done this in a while." Y/n said laughing.

"I tried to warn you." Dewy said laughing.

"I dont mind it." Y/n said licking the tip playfully.

Dewy groaned his hand going under y/and chin, he led the man up closer to him and brought him in for another few quick kisses.

Y/n had his legs on either side of Dewys lap, he'd never been this horny in his life.

Y/n pulled away from the kiss, Dewy wanting to continue tried to being him back in but seeing y/n was grabbing something from the drawer table left him to it and moved on to kissing lower parts of him.

Y/n opened the couch side drawer and brought out a bottle of lube and an opened box of condoms.

"Such a smart boy." Dewy whispered out.

Y/n hummed happily at the comment, then stripped what clothes were left off of Dewy.

"You look so pretty." Y/n said kissing their chest.

Dewy kissed y/ns cheek as a thank you, he reached over for the lube and put a generous amount on his fingers before going in between y/ns legs.

Y/n let out a shuddering breath as they started to be prepped. They whimpered not a single thought put into caring about how they sounded like a little slut.

"That's it." Fewy whispered in their ear, "keep singing for me y/n, I love hearing you. Can you keep making noises for me?"

"Uh huh." Y/n moaned out nodding. "Please Dewy fuck, I need it."

"What do you need?" Dewy whispered.

"You want me to fuck you until you can't stand?"

"Yeah." Y/n sobbed out.

"Be patient baby." Dwight said trying to comfort the trembling man in his arms, "I gotta make sure you'll be ok to take me."

Y/n whined and Dwight smiling softly kissed their shoulder.

Y/n was panting in his arms, he needed Dwight's cock and they both knew it, it was an antagonizing wait for both of them but once Dwight knew y/n was ready he put the condom on and put it in carefully.

Y/n let out a broken moan and sunk down onto Dewys cock, he had no idea that the real thing would feel so much better than

Y/n wanted to start immediately but the strong hands on his hips held him in place so that he could take some time getting used to it.

"Ready?" Dewy asked.

"Fuck yes." Y/n breathed out

"Good." Dwight breathed out he started to help the needy man moving his hips as y/n fucked themselves on his cock.

"Good job baby." Dewy panted out.

"Y/n, y/n fuck." Dwught said as the praise made them speed up.

Y/n couldnt stop moaning, they needed this so bad, they needed to make Dwight feel good, they almost didnt notice how they whimpered his name like a prayer.

Dwight slowed down his thrusting upwards and pulled y/n by the back of his neck into a kiss that Dwight quickly took over.

"Let me take you to your room." Dwight breathed out. "I need to fuck you in a different position."

Y/n let out a sib like moan and nodded he got up from Dewy his hole clenching around noting wanting that wonderful dick back in him.

Y/n led Dewy to his room, the two of them not stopping to look around Dewy pressed y/n against their door and started to makeout with them there, Dewy the other mans thigh and moved to pick him up, he did it so swiftly and easily that it took the other mans breath away.

Y/n felt Dwight's dick re-enter him, and moaned into the kiss, Dwight wasted no time by fucking him against the door at a rough pace, y/n couldnt breathe he couldn't think, he could only feel the sensations around him and how good everything felt. He didnt even notice that Dewy had stopped thrusting it was y/n doing the work while Dewy walked them over to his bed, once they were on it, Dewy returned his tough fucking. Y/n was practically screaming at this point his eyes were rolling to the back of his head.

"Fuuucck." Y/n whined out. He could feel himself coming close.

Dewy took one of his hands and rubbed what was in y/ns legs, the man beneath him thanking him for doing so like a prayer. Dewy wasnt going to last long, the man beneath him was making jim loose his fucking mind.

He needed to make y/n cum, not only because they wanted to but because they needed to see the man beneath them completely fucked out.

"Come baby cum for me, you're doing so good I need you to do it. Come on baby you're so fucking good."

Y/n moaned and he came undone beneath Dwight, moaning their name in a whine.

Dwight cane at the sight and brought their lips to y/and to kiss them again. Y/n was clearly going to pass out soon but they were doing so good to try and fight it.

"Go to sleep." Dewy whispered.

"I'll be here when you wake up. I still wanna fuck you some more."

Y/n moaned and their eyes shut dreaming about what would happen when they woke up.

[actualbird]

Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.