#god i wish i'd found this years ago

[limerence-17]

take her home

masterlist

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

warnings: 18+ mdni blowjob, fingering, mutual masturbation, drinking (underage presumably), vulgar language, intoxication (reader is, rafe is sober no drunk driving here friends!!), angsty very angsty, reader is drunk and annoying but then again rafe is also annoying in this

synopsis: you're a family friend of the cameron's and sarah's childhood best friend. after one night taking it too hard at rafe's party, sarah's asks rafe to drive you home...

word count: 2.1k

A/N: all characters are 18+ here. also my photos for some reason are uploading weird so sorry for the collage thats not in HD rip. lowercase intended.

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

you weren't going to drink, that wasn't even your original plan but between sarah's strange mixed drinks (vodka crans were her usual) and your recent break up with your boyfriend you were a lot more drunk than you'd expected to be.

rafe threw parties every once in a while in the obx and seeing how he was two years older than you, it was fun for sarah and yourself to join them every once in a while.

"there's gonna be at least one hot guy there to get your mind off of lucas," sarah told you as you both were getting ready. lucas was your boyfriend, ex boyfriend now. ever since he cheated on you a week ago with some girl from the cut.

that night, you had a few drinks and ended up swimming in the cameron's pool. once you got out of the pool, you found yourself gravitating to some guy who rafe supposedly knew. he was tall, brown hair, kind eyes. you'd touch his chest every time he said something remotely funny.

you let out a loud belly laugh, playing with your half dried hair from the pool. you were only wearing a pink bikini top with your shorts. now that you thought about it you remembered leaving your bikini bottoms in the upstairs washroom. so technically you were going commando? it didn't matter anyway, you'd find them eventually.

sarah was standing across the pool, closer to the back porch. she could hear a few of rafe's friends speaking about you. but as she listened closely, they were nasty comments.

"yo who knew that friend of the cameron's had tits like that, i'd fucking grab them any day..."

sarah was about to run over and intervene when rafe suddenly stumbled out the back door, laughing with some buddies. he reached for whatever drugs he had in his pocket before sarah went up and smacked his hand. he whipped his head around, eyeing her viciously.

"you have a death wish or something tonight sarah?"

sarah grabbed rafe by his cheeks, smushing them in her hands as she turned his head so that he was now paying attention to you and the boy. she figured he would’ve understood just how serious this was, but clearly rafe was not having it that night.

rafe removed sarah's hand from his cheeks, rather annoyed now.

"so your annoying ass friend is flirting with nate? so what?" rafe said, reaching down into his pocket once again.

"our friend is gonna regret this by morning if we don't stop it at some point. these assholes you know are talking about her behind her back like she's some piece of ass. rafe can you please take her home?" sarah said, pleading with her eyes wide.

rafe glared down at sarah. he rubbed his hands against his eyes, groaning.

"are you fucking kidding me right now? i mean this is my party-"

sarah's eyes widened more and her eyebrows creased. she was making the same puppy eyes she would make when they were kids.

"she's our family friend rafe, and if anything happens to her you know dad will hold you responsible! not just for this shit party, but for her! plus don’t you remember-“

rafe cut her off.

"fine! fine... jesus i'll take her home, but you owe me for this one sarah i swear to god-"

"yeah yeah i know, beers on me for a month…” sarah said mockingly.

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

"i'll be back in a sec baby, just gonna go to the washroom," nate said as he walked away from you. you couldn’t help but smile as his hand grazed your back as he stepped away. you took another sip from your drink

seconds later, you felt a cold hard hand grip at your upper arm. you whipped your head to the right, only to see rafe standing beside you, looking more serious than usual.

"no fucking way rafe cameron is here..." you groan out, swinging your hands. rafe rolls his eyes.

"i'm taking you home." rafe commands you swing around once more, this time facing all the party goers.

"rafe cameron everybody!! you yelled, grabbing the attention of everybody outside. “let’s all give me a round of applause for throwing this wild wild party!” the sounds of whoops, and cups being raised into the air followed.

rafe grabbed your arm harder now, sighing from frustration.

"you're drunk. and i'm taking you home…now."

you stumbled backwards over your feet, as he dragged you back through the side backyard door. you were laughing, still a little out of it until you were near the car.

"woah, you're not seriously taking me home right? the night's only started,” you say, snorting a bit as you laughed.

"i'm not doing this for you, i'm doing this cause if i don't i'll get in shit. so just be obedient for once and get in the damn car," rafe said demandingly, opening the passenger door and guiding his hand across your back so that you could sit in the car.

"so pushy dad... you're so totally acting like my dad right now," you said, putting your feet up on the dash and clicking the buttons in the car as he sat in the driver's seat. you playfully keep touching things in the car.

"jesus… don't call me that," rafe said, rubbing his temple as he turned on the ignition.

"fine..." you wave your hands up in the air like you've been caught red handed. you cover your mouth because the second the thought crosses your mind you already want to laugh, but you haven't even said it.

"my bad...daddy..."

rafe freezes, his hands gripping the steering wheel. he’d only just started to back out of the driveway and he flips his head over to face you.

"what? don’t call me that shit-“ he says.

rafe grabs your leg, motioning it downward.

"and get your feet off my dash."

you start pushing at random buttons. of course rafe cameron drives a tesla.

"beep boop, boop..." you say jokingly as you open the window now putting your hand out.

"it's a spaceship in here," you say. you've only gotten about two blocks down. rafe is ignoring your comments, focusing on the road.

"this car is so much better than my exes anyway... i totally hated that guy i mean what was i thinking?"

this has seemed to have gotten rafe's attention as he glances over at you now.

"what do you mean?"

"i meannnnnnn he was a cheater and a liar and totally wasn't even that cute," you say, swinging your hands around.

"i mean wouldn't it make sense to want to sleep with someone who is attractive? lucas was really not even attractive, i mean his nose was like so small, like a little rabbit or something," you groan on. to your surprise, or maybe shock, rafe laughs at this. a genuine laugh.

you could almost sober up from that alone because it's something you haven't really heard since you were kids.

"i think it would make more sense to sleep with someone like you y'know," you say.

oh there you go. you've done it now. no taking that back anymore.

rafe glances over at you quickly, as if he's debating pulling over or something.

"me? what-what are you talking about?"

you shrink slowly into the seat, now embarrassed that you ever said that. you can almost feel yourself head and limbs sinking into the seat.

"are you-you saying you'd wanna sleep with me?"

you glance over, and for some reason your eyes glance over to his pants, and you can't help but notice the bulge that's forming. holy shit did i do that? you think to yourself.

"i mean… i'm not blind rafe, i'm just drunk."

rafe scoffs, switching his glance frequently between you and the road.

"you're serious though, you're not bullshitting me? you like- would actually sleep with me?" rafe says again, as if he can't believe it. he's speeding a little bit more now and you can't help but wonder if it's because you've distracted him.

"i... would yes," you say, nodding slowly, although you're too nervous and humiliated now to make eye contact with him. not too mention, you're still in your bikini top and now widely aware of that.

"jesus i mean... is this your way of asking cause i'm kinda sitting here getting turned on one way or another," rafe scoffs. he's so arrogant, you think to yourself. arrogant, but stupid hot. you glance over, looking back at his pants, he notices your eyes widen at the sight.

"besides, its kinda hot, knowing that sarah or our parents could never find out i mean... it's the secretive part of it that's so... well and your tits too i mean they look fucking magical tonight..." rafe says.

he turns to you, meeting your gaze, looks back at the road and then grabs your hand and gradually brings it to his crotch.

"i mean feel how hard i am, and that is all your doing princess," he says.

you grip at his cock, feeling it harden in his shorts. he's harder than you could have imagined.

"you can take it out if you'd like," he says, reaching for the zipper. the way he's unzipping his shorts while still keeping his eyes on the road is now starting to turn you on. there's heat pooling in your shorts and you're now viciously aware of the fact that you're not wearing any bikini bottoms. if you get any more wet it's game over.

you pull out his cock slowly from his boxers, and your shocked to see the pre cum already soaking out from his tip. he's hard, and you know it's your doing. rafe glances down for a moment, and then you feel his hand against the back of your head.

"you can suck it too," he says grunting.

"but-rafe you're driving what if someone sees-"

"who gives a shit let them see your pretty face sucking me off."

and with that you lick the tip, hearing him let out a slow moan. you just know he's trying not to lay his head backwards in pleasure just based on the noises he's making. you twist your right hand around his cock, moving it up and around and down. your tongue swirls around the tip until you start bobbing your mouth. after about three minutes he pulls you back up. you wipe your mouth and look over at him.

"what? what's wrong?"

"nothing- i was just gonna cum from that is all. plus i wanna feel you anyway-" he says. your eyes widen.

"me?"

"yeah," rafe replies. "unbutton those shorts why don't you so i can feel your pussy."

the way he says that, the rasp in his voice has you already unbuttoning your shorts. you're not sure how he's gonna do this, considering he's driving, until you come up to train tracks and the lights have gone off.

hm nice timing, you think to yourself.

as the train whooses by, you turn over to meet eye contact with rafe and he looks hungry. really... hungry. you both practically smash into each other, your lips colliding with each other. he's biting your bottom lip and sticking his tongue into your mouth and your letting out moans. if this was wrong, how could it feel this good.

"wanna... touch your pussy..." he moans out between kisses and so you pull away.

you pull down your shorts instinctively, forgetting you're not wearing anything underneath. great, i'm half naked in rafe cameron's car ,you think to yourself.

rafe's eyes go wide as he glances over at your body, your agonizingly wet pussy on the car seat.

"fuck me can't believe you've been hiding all that underneath those shorts," rafe grunts as he reaches over to feel you. his middle finger slides up your slit painfully slow. you grab your seatbelt as you lean back.

"holy shit you're so wet, all for me i fucking love that shit," rafe says. he uses his middle finger and ring finger to slowly start tracing circles around your clit, gradually upping the pace. you start grinding against his fingers. this train was taking forever.

"wait...wait...." rafe says pulling away causing you to groan.

"i know baby but... just touch yourself. i wanna see you make yourself cum." he says, now pulling out his dick once again.

you feel a little embarrassed but you're also so turned on so you oblige, slowly tracing circles around your clit. you can't help but watch as his jerks himself off, his eyes hungry staring down at you. it's like he's memorizing your every moment. you stick in one finger, than two, fingering yourself hard now. you rotate between that and rubbing circles against your clit until you feel your build up coming up. it only takes a few moments before you feel your release about to happen.

"fucking cum for me you dirty bitch come on-" rafe says between grunts.

you gasp as your orgasm hits you, and so does his seconds later, cum coming out of his cock. the train has now passed, and you both realize this in a panic.

you pull your shorts up quickly and look around for a tissue. rafe has started to drive away and you wipe at his stomach. he's exhaling deeply now.

"your parents home tonight?" he asks.

you lean back smiling teasingly as you bite your lip.

"no..."

"good cause i'm coming inside."

[marzipanandminutiae]

the one thing I am full-bore conspiracy theorist about?

daily contact lenses

or, well, not their existence, period. they're a valid health option that is best for some people, medically. but the sheer aggressiveness with which they're being pushed nowadays

the last few times I went to the eye doctor for my annual check-up, she was HEAVILY on my case to switch to dailies. like, to the point of arrogance and condescension when I said I preferred to stick with monthlies (I've worn contacts since I was 12, for reference). I also posted about it on a forum and got massive negativity in response, as well as being talked down to by someone claiming to be an optometrist himself

now if this were like...anti-vaxxer sentiment I'd understand that reaction. but from what I've heard, while monthlies do carry a higher risk of eye infections and such, they're not medically unsound or unsafe across the board. I'm willing to accept that risk, and since science has not found that they're terrible and should immediately be discontinued, I feel like my wishes should be respected and not belittled

point two: plastic waste. they say it's somehow less than using monthlies, but frankly I just don't see how that's possible. 365 of those little eye chips- times two! -and their packaging, add up to less than a case and a bottle of solution every few months, plus 24 contacts and their packaging? it doesn't make sense to me, and it doesn't help that I mostly see contact lens websites repeating this "fact." of course all contacts produce plastic waste, and I'd be perfectly willing to accept this as one of those You Have To Consume; You Just Decide What Areas Of Your Life Are Optimal For Minimization of Waste And What Aren't things, if dailies weren't being pushed so hard

(also I found two studies showing that monthly-replacement soft lenses produce less plastic waste than daily disposables. which, like. yes, this should be obvious, but here we are. granted, that's only two, and both studies emphasize that dailies and their accoutrements can be recycled, but see below)

some big companies have "contact recycling programs" but like. who's to say that's not greenwashing? where's the oversight? where are the investigations into what these programs actually DO? god knows we've been there before with recycling and corporations trying to pull the nylon-poly-blend Vegan Wool(TM) over our eyes

they're also more expensive than monthlies, which like. does not lend a positive slant to optometrists pushing them so stridently

on top of that, I and some other monthly users have noted that our contacts aren't lasting as long as they used to. for me, it was 17-18 years of smooth sailing with barely any problems, and as of like a year ago my contacts barely last two weeks without clouding up, ripping, chipping at the edges, causing my vision to blur, becoming uncomfortable...my brand did change around that time, so I hope it's just that, and the sample size of other monthly users I've pooled is VERY small. but it sure seems interesting that they suddenly started pushing a product that doesn't last long enough for people to notice low quality, around the time that at least some users of the longer-lasting version start having problems

you're pooh-poohing all of my concerns- which are indeed backed up by science, it seems! -with a "fix" that relies on big companies being honest about recycling, to push me from a non-ideal but still medically sound option to another that makes you more money?

I'm normally a pretty grounded person but I'm full-on tinfoil hat about this one

[yzzaqczec]

Beneath the moons glow

Idea: @sametsyun

Once, there was Y/N, a divine being created by the gods to watch over the moon. She was an angel with a silvery glow, her presence a soft luminescence among the vastness of the cosmos. The moon was her kingdom—silent, serene, and lonely. She spent her days attending wishes of the mortals below them. Their hopes whispered up to her through the night, which sounded all the more silent with them, till she heard their promises of the soul.

Except that one who came often was making her heart beat with something which she could not identify.

Lucifer, that was his name and was a fallen angel driven from Heaven long ago. Every time he would come to her place, that always would carry the promise of more than words: the excitement of seeing what the visitor may bring - small things- a bunch of ducks, flowers in star shape, anything whimsical and sweet. Y/N in turn gave the man her wishes for trivial things, moments of glee, for laughter. Alone no longer was Y/N in the company of her visitor. The days turned to months, and the months grew into years. A quiet affection for each other blossomed.

Their bonding grew in the silent nights that were lit by the moon. Lucifer never asked for anything extravagant, and Y/N would always find herself wanting to provide him with whatever he desired. She had fallen in love with him, although she did not know what to call it. Love? She never dared to ask, but she knew he was of the same thought. He smiled every time he saw her his smile shines brighter than the stars in the sky. She would do anything for him, and so did he seem.

Then one day, Lucifer just stopped coming.

Initially, Y/N thought it was just nothing. "Why haven't you come by? I wait for you each night, when the stars shine bright and the moon protects us both. Was this something I did?" she silently asked the empty moon.

Days became weeks, then weeks turned into months, all without him. She still waited, lonely and clueless. She searched the heavens for him, but he was nowhere to be found. She could not help but wonder whether something had happened, whether she perhaps had done something wrong. "Had I failed him in some way? Did he no longer want me to grant his wishes?" Her heart felt heavy as the cycles of the moon increased, and she began to feel a deep sadness that no star could chase away. The only solace was the fact that one day, he would return, and everything would be okay.

One day, Lucifer showed up. His smile was as broad as ever, but something was different. It did not feel the same. The warmth that once seemed to emanate from his presence was now gone, replaced by an emptiness that cut deeper than she could have imagined.

"Y/N" he greeted, the name slipping from his lips like a familiar song, but with a hollow tone. He handed her a small, delicate gift wrapped in glistening paper, but there was no joy behind his eyes.

Y/N heart skipped, her hopes rising for a moment. "It’s been a long time," she said softly. "I’ve missed you."

Lucifer's eyes flickered briefly, then he quickly covered it with a chuckle. "I've been busy. But I've come to ask for a wish."

Her heart leapt, and she smiled. This was it, she thought. "Maybe this is the moment we return to what we had before. Maybe it'll be like it once was." But his words shattered that fragile hope.

He asked for something that felt wrong, something that was against the very rules she had been bound to since her creation. It was a wish that involved breaking celestial laws. She hesitated. "This. This is too much. I can't grant this, Lucifer." But his eyes, those eyes she had trusted for so long, looked at her with something she couldn't place.

"You think I forgot you? You think I stopped caring? No, Y/N. I couldn't forget you. But the moment I walked away from the moon, I knew I'd lost something I couldn't get back," he said, his voice laced with guilt.

She felt the weight of his words, but despite her doubt, she couldn't refuse him. Her heart—"I would do anything for him,"—knew no better. With trembling hands, she granted the wish, though it was wrong, something that she knew she should not do.

What she did not know was the price with which it came.

Lucifer's trial soon followed, and Y/N was left dazed. She had been summoned to the heavenly court, where the angels looked at her with judgment in their eyes. Lucifer stood at the center of the courtroom, his head lowered in shame. And beside him stood Lilith—the one who had been with him all along, the one he had truly wanted all this time.

Her heart cracked, shards of trust and affection shattering. "You think I wanted to leave you? You think I wanted to stop visiting the moon? No. but I had no choice. Sometimes the price of freedom is heavier than you think," Lucifer had said, but his betrayal stung just the same.

As the angels questioned her, "What had you done, Y/N? What wish did you grant him?" this truth struck her like thunder—she was the one that helped him bring Lilith back.

Lucifer, in a moment of panic, pointed his finger at her. "She did it. It was her who granted me the wish."

The words cut deeper than any betrayal she could have thought of. "So this was it. All that I had given to him, all the love I thought we shared. it was nothing."

Lucifer and Lilith were punished and sent down to Hell to stay there forever. However, Y/N was not shown any mercy; however, the punishment she received was a lighter one. They said she didn't know what the wish would do. Nevertheless, she was sent out of Heaven, a beautiful home lost to her for good. She remained there, on the moon, her heart a heavy aching weight in her chest.

"You were my haven. my escape from everything. I never thought that I would ever bring about such pain in you. I thought that I was capable of handling all of this, but it was just too much," Lucifer's words echoed in her head as she looked out to the vast emptiness that the moon surface seemed to offer.

There was her on the bleak, snow cold desert landscape alone, when before she a green bunny that he'd given her years earlier stirred to life, tears fallen into its little soft frame on whose green jade-eyes sparkle lit after these final tears until she saw not alone again. Small creature nuzzled by it and she found this instant comfort.

“I thought I was doing what was right for myself, for Lilith. But now I realize I’ve lost more than I could ever gain. You were everything I needed. and I let you go,” Lucifer's voice, tinged with regret, haunted her every moment.

Years passed, eons even. The moon, once dark and empty, started changing. Lights shimmered, festivals sprang up, and laughter filled the air. It had become a place for celebration, joy, and fun, but Y/N heart still ached with pain for the love she had lost.

Her search for Lucifer never ended. She tried everything: every spell, every ritual, every prayer. But nothing seemed to work. "If you're out there, Lucifer, do you ever wonder about me? Do you ever miss the moon? Or has the Hell beneath your feet become too heavy?" she whispered, looking to the heavens, but nothing came.

One day, she realized that despite everything, she had never truly stopped loving him. "You’ll always be a part of me, Lucifer. Whether you forgive me or not, you’ll always have a place in my heart. I just wish I could show you that before it was too late."

And so, with lights and laughter still burning all around, Y/N made a promise to find him again. No matter the time it took or how long the distance was; she would find her way back to him.

And perhaps, just maybe, the stars will finally align.

---

Will post the pt2 next week:>

OKAY TOTALLY RUSHED THIS

I did not proofread this so mb if there are some mistakes, I totally added chang'e instead of y/n in some of these😭

Idea from!! @sametsyun

https://www.tumblr.com/sametsyun/742930833875353600/i-have-a-fanfic-idea-alright-you-guys-know-that?source=share

TYSM I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO THINK OF AN IDEA(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

[ninikrumbs]

After you

Satoru gojo x reader. birthday special. angst angst angst. im sowwy. changes to 1st person halfway through. fluff if you squint very hard. feat. Hiromi

You stirred gently out of your sleep, eyes slowly opening. And for a moment everything was hazy, then you realized you fell asleep on the sofa of your living room.

Pushing yourself halfway up, the sound of water dripping on paper caught your attention as you glanced down at the array of photos scattered beside your chest. A hand flew to your face when you realized the abundance of tears free falling from your cheeks to the mementos below.

Echoes of his voice and flashes of his smile still lingered in your glazed mind making your lips tremble as a knot of emotion lodged on your throat. It took everything in you not to sob.

All at once it came back to you, waking up in the middle of the night, unable to go to sleep. So you decided to go to the ktichen but stopping short when you habitually opened your phone and saw the date. Time halted to a stop, you stopped breathing altogether as your hands slightly trembled around the phone.

Everything was a blur after that, and somehow you found yourself at your living room with a box full of mementos from what seemed like a another lifetime ago. There was a time when the mere sight of this box - that you skillfully hid at the back of your closet - brought you to tears and sometimes it still does.

Memories of your youth stared back at you. From your high school days to the your time as a teacher at Jujutsu High. Photos of a white haired boy with a smile that could rival the sun made your heart ache. Especially the strip of pictures the both of you took in one of those vintage photobooths. The both of you looked so young, so happy, not yet tainted by the darkness of the world, still filled with so much hope for the future. Tears lined your eyes once more.

You didn't know when you fell asleep, probably when your eyes got too heavy. Wiping your tears, you stood up and walk to the window. The moon was bright and full, you often talked to the moon on nights like this. Talking to it as if he could hear your voice.

Hey, Satoru

Its been almost 6 years since you left. 6 years when my life got torn in half. When the news of your death shook me to my core and my world came crashing down all at once.

I remember the denial and the anger. I cursed the universe for taking you away, before bargaining with every God and being out there to bring you back to me. And for a while I thought I'd never accept it and maybe some part of me still hasn't.

After the war against Sukuna, grief overtook me. I was a mere shell of who I used to be. Its like a noose was tied aroud my heart. Even breathing proved difficult in a world without you. My days were empty and monotonous. Only waking up to eat then sleep, and sometimes I wished I wouldn't wake up at all so that Id see your face once again. Its like I was drowning in the middle of the ocean, waves pulling me down, not a drop of hope that Id ever reach the shore.

I saw you everywhere. In the bright blue sky under the morning sun. In the beach where the seas reflected your eyes. When the snow falls and sticks to the ground. Things that once made me happy were then only constant reminders of what Ive lost.

And when I received the letter that you wrote to me, every word was a stab to the heart.

I want you to live, sweets. I want you to get everything , do everything you've ever wanted. To never settle. To love again- though Ill probably haunt him for his entire life.

It made me laugh bitterly, because didn't you know that everything I wanted died along with you?

Yet I tried, I tried for you, Satoru. And for the people around me.

After some time, I went out. Started teaching again, hoping to live up to the legacy you left behind. Ate lunch with Shoko, guided missions with the students and even a few dates. None of it mattered though, because in the end, I searched for you in every room, and in every person I met. Hoping for just a glimpse of your smile or the twinkle of your bright azure eyes.

Eventually, with a heavy heart, I came to realize that you don't get that lucky twice. That what we shared was a once in a lifetime occurence.

"There you are, sweetheart. Couldn't sleep?" A deep voice laced with sleep reached my ears.

I glanced up to see Hiromi, walking down the stairs only in a pair of sweatpants.

Once he reached my place by the window, he saw my glossy eyes, the pictures in my hands and the opened box at the bottom of the sofa.

His eyes softened, filled with warmth and understanding as he realized, "Ah, Ill go make us some tea."

Then I found Hiromi. Or better yet, he found me. He was so kind and strong, so solid and dependable. He met me at my lowest, he comforted me as I cried about you. He was the lifeboat that found me, and he didn't just throw a buoy for me hold onto but he dove head first into the raging ocean and held me in his arms as he swam me to shore.

I never understood how he fell inlove with me regardless of the endless emotional baggage that I carried. And he has proven to me time and time again that he more than willing to carry it with me. He was so good to me, I didn't deserve him, I knew that.

You would've liked him, Satoru. Hiromi's love breathed life into me. He made me warm and tingly inside. My stomach still does backflips at the sight of him. I was smiling again, enjoying life again. I could finally recognize the girl in the mirror.

It wasn't an easy journey though. In the beginning of our relationship, guilt would eat my insides when I kept comparing him to you. His brown eyes to your blue. How sometimes, he reminds me of you. And how for awhile when he kissed me, I felt your lips. It was unfair to him, I know. Yet he was so calm and patient, voicing nothing but understanding and assurances when I cried and confessed to him my selfish thoughts.

I followed him to the kitchen. "I didn't mean to wake you, Hiromi."

He glanced back at me, smiling softly. "Its okay, sweetheart."

We sat in companionable silence as he made tea, before he set the cups on the counter infromt of me.

After a moment, his hand cupped my face, caressing it gently, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head, "No.. Im okay, really."

He let out a breath and pulled me close by the waist, before pressing a kiss on my forehead, "Im here, always."

Hiromi astounds me everday, because I dont know If I would react the same way if the situation was reversed.

I pressed my cheek to his warm chest, breathing him in as I hugged him back. "I know and you'll never know how grateful I am for that."

Pulling back, I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a chaste kiss. A sign of my gratitude, but not for more than a second. It would be unfair for me to kiss him more when you still lingered at the back of my mind.

Even though now, I don't feel your lips anymore, Satoru. I feel Hiromi's, which made me happy. I love him so much, he deserves so much more than the chipped heart than I can give him yet he says its all he wants.

Seeing the melancholic look in my eyes, Hiromi rested his forehead on mine, "Ill go to bed first."

I know he thinks I want space from him when I get like this, when my memories of you plague my mind but he couldn't be more wrong. I pouted, "No, please stay."

He was my constant reminder of everything good in my life, he kept me afloat. He never made me feel crazy or stupid for being so hung up about my dead boyfriend. He was a saint and Ill spend the rest of my life making it up to him, to love him like he deserves.

He chuckled, "Okay, I can whip us some pancakes if you want?"

"That sounds amazing." I grinned, albeit a bit watery.

I did what you wanted , Satoru. I lived and loved again. I never settled for anything less. Thanks to you I found happiness and love, things I thought I would never have again after you. Though you will always own a piece of me, a piece of my heart and soul and I never want it back.

Happy Birthday, Satoru.

The years we spent together are still my favorite.

To me, you'll always be 29 and beautiful. And until our next blue spring arrives, Ill continue to live the life you gave yours for.

This made me cry when I thought of it. Thoughts?

[redcloaklynx]

party banter in a tadpoled cazador au

Lae'zel: "I do not understand this Loviathar god. What is the point of injury if not to kill?" Cazador: "I do not understand Loviathar worship either. For one, their methods could use a lot of refinement. Have you seen how crude their whips are?" Astarion: "I'm going to scout ahead. Do alert me when he stops talking."

---

Cazador: "Boy, I have heard you lay flirtations on practically every member of this party aside from me." Astarion: "Cazador! Have you been waiting your turn?" Cazador: "Yes. I believe I might have a scathing enough response that you finally fall silent."

---

Gale: "Cazador Szarr... I've seen your name on research publishings. I'd not expect the face to be Kozakuran." Cazador: "The Wizard of Waterdeep, is it? Does your city find itself inundated often, or does its wizard wish that I remedy that?" Gale: "Er, no need. It was an academic question."

---

Karlach: "Between my body temperature and Gale's magic nonsense, I wonder who's got the worst blood in the party." Cazador: "It's the wizard. I keep my distance from him when I can." Gale: "Side effects of terminal Netherese contamination may include vampire repellency- noted."

---

Cazador: "A Ravengard, are you? And yet I cannot remember your presence among high society in Baldur's Gate." Wyll: "We should all get to know each other more. Let's share a few bottles around the campfire, tonight." Lae'zel: "What does this bottle-sharing entail?" Wyll: "We'll drink alcohol and take turns asking each other innocuous questions." Cazador: "Innocuous questions, yes. But I will not, before you ask again, be telling you the location of all side entrances to my mansion."

---

Shadowheart: "Say, Lae'zel, how do your people do interrogations?" Lae'zel: "We amputate fingers, eyes and limbs until they speak. If that does not work, we try to starve or burn them." Shadowheart: "Really? I'd always heard the other way around. Beatings, starvation, then amputatation." Cazador: "I enjoy flaying before amputating, personally." Shadowheart: "Does that make them more likely to talk?" Cazador: "No, but the vampiric charm I cast once I am bored does."

---

Cazador: "Who is it that handed Astarion a sewing kit yesterday?" Wyll: "I did, I found one in the Blighted Village. Damn, I didn't know vampire senses were that sharp." Cazador: "Oh, I very sharply sensed this morning that somebody undid the seams to all my clothes and sewed my socks together in the night."

---

Cazador: "This incessant wiggling between the eyes is driving me mad. Is this how a heartbeat felt?" Gale: "Not in the slightest. Which begs the question, how many years ago were you buried underneath?" Cazador: "I am older than the goddess you were wildly unfit to dally with, whelp."

---

self-indulgent last one. i headcanon cazador to be very depressed

Cazador: "Now that you've had other blood to compare to, was rat-blood really a reason for offense?" Astarion: "Are you kidding? Wyll's blood is richer than the finest vintage there is. It's incomparable to rat-blood." Cazador: "Hm. Perhaps the passage of centuries has diminished my enjoyment in things." Astarion: "Am I included in 'things'?" Cazador: "Yes." Astarion: "Ugh. All those years spent torturing me, and you weren't even having fun?"

[falling-star-cygnus]

link click hc that Lu Guang instinctively cuddles things in his sleep [like Noe from VNC but without the super-strength] and Cheng Xiaoshi loves it. like- he was full on ecstatic when he found out

aka- the 3 times Cheng Xiaoshi gets Lu Guang to subconsciously cuddle something + the 1 time Lu Guang sought it out on his own

1: The first time it happens, they've only been official friends for a handful of months.

Sure- some could argue they were official friends from the moment Lu Guang helped Cheng Xiaoshi paint an entire building without any pay... or compensation.. or really anything more than a soda. Or they could've been official friends since that moment on the basketball court. But Cheng Xiaoshi would argue right back that it didn't count.

He's heard the things Qiao Ling says about him, he hears all the things people say about him, actually, because most of the time he's in the room when the people are saying them.

And maybe she's right when she says he gives his trust and time away too easily, to people who won't give it back, and maybe her folks and their friends were right when they called him an ungrateful kid all those years ago.

But he knows. He knows how a friendship works, and he knows he has it with Lu Guang when the sight of pale white hair soothes this itch under his skin. And he knows when someone is holding him at arms length.

Cheng Xiaoshi glances at his dozing friend, who's curled up on the couch with his nose tucked into the dusty cushions, and huffs a quiet, tight sigh.

He doesn't know what he did, aside from accidentally nailing him with a basketball, to make the other boy distrust him so much. There was an undeniable distance between them, one that felt like it shouldn't exist at all.

Maybe it was just because their friendship was still tentatively new, practically a baby compared to his relationship with the landlady. Maybe Cheng Xiaoshi was asking for too much too soon but...

When the light brushes it's warm fingers over Lu Guang's fair features.. when the pale haired boy thinks no one is watching... he looks far older than his years. Tired in a way that goes beyond insomnia, tired in a way that Cheng Xiaoshi knows with his full chest.

Lu Guang, in those quiet glimpses of time, looked like he was mourning.

Cheng Xiaoshi reaches out, leans over the back of the couch and reaches his hand down to brush pale white hair off a clammy forehead.

"I know I said I'd wait... but I wish you'd trust me more," he breathes into the air between them, quiet like a secret as he gently traces his finger down the crease that seemed like a permanent fixture between grey brows.

More than anything, Cheng Xiaoshi wished that whatever was haunting Lu Guang would at least grant him peace when he slept- grant him a single moment of reprieve.

He's about to pull away when his friend makes a small, sleepy sound.

Lean, slender fingers come up to weakly grasp Cheng Xiaoshi's wrist. It's a meager grip, one that the dark haired boy could easily pull away from, but the mournful sound Lu Guang makes when he tries actually makes something hurt in his chest.

He lets Lu Guang tip his head into his palm, internally freaking out as the pale haired boy tucks his entire body around Cheng Xiaoshi's arm. The crease between his brows smoothes out, his breaths get deeper, and he actually looks his age for the first time since the dark haired boy hair met him.

"Phone- phone, phone, phone," Cheng Xiaoshi whisper screams, digging in to his pockets with a near manic intensity as he tries to keep his other arm still, "Oh my god-"

How is this the same boy that held Cheng Xiaoshi like he was a live bomb? Held him like a live bomb in the hands of someone willing to die, sure, but like he was expecting the dark haired boy to stab him in the chest and leave his body cooling by itself.

....maybe Cheng Xiaoshi wasn't as distrusted as he thought.

To the surprise of no one, Lu Guang is just as pretty on camera as he is in real life.

CXS: OH LANDLADY~ CXS: *one picture*

QL: !! QL: lol he's like a cat! QL: 💗😺💗

Cheng Xiaoshi's arm goes numb, but it's completely worth it for his new wallpaper. Call it payback for that photo of him in a cosplay skirt.

2: The second time it happens, Qiao Ling only gains ammo for her cat allegations.

Lu... had not been in a particularly touchy mood that day. He kept looking at his hands when he thought Cheng Xiaoshi's attention was elsewhere, and when the dark haired boy tried to grab one to lead him out of his head he...

flinched.

Not his usual startle, that got less frequent as he acclimated to living with Cheng Xiaoshi's loud mouth, but a full body flinch. He had pulled away and left the room.

Lu Guang almost never left the room, even if he got fed up dodging the dark haired boy's attempts at glomping onto him. He would usually just- stand there.. or their attention would get called to something else- he never outright fled.

Unless...

"GUANGGUANG HATES MEEEHEEHE," he wails into Qiao Ling's lap.

"E-eh? Xiaoshi!?"

To his sister's credit, she doesn't whack him off right away. She's more than a little confused, maybe a little worried about his sanity, but her hand gently pats at his head- wary of the bandage still present.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you.." Qiao Ling tries, looking around for any sign of said issue, "Lu Guang could never hate you-"

"Then he's definitely mad at me! He hasn't let me get close all day and- aCk!"

They really needed to dust their floors...

Cheng Xiaoshi sneezes as his nose makes friends with the hardwood.

"What was that fo-"

"Of course he's mad at you, you idiot!"

"H-HUH!?"

As if no longer caring for his brutal head injury, his sister flicks him right in the middle of his forehead. While he goes back to wailing in pain- physical this time, as he rolls on the floor- Qiao Ling tears him a new one:

"I told you to stay in the studio! You-"

The thump of unsteady feet cuts into her sentence, and suddenly Lu Guang is peeking his head around the corner- familiar wax paper bags held in his hand.

"Cheng Xiaoshi?"

The dark haired boy stops wailing, but he doesn't let go of his head as he turns in a weird sguiggle to see his friend. He barely blinks before slender fingers- and bruised knuckles, how did he miss that?- are prodding carefully around the lump still vaguely present above his ponytail.

"What's wrong? You were..." Lu trails off, pulls his shaking hands away and clears his throat, "..sorry. I- I thought.."

Cheng Xiaoshi catches the wrist attached to those bruised knuckles and doesn't let go when his fair friend tries to pull away and hide it again.

It's not fair, he thinks, that Lu Guang is allowed to care for him but he can't offer the same courtesy. Not fair at all.

The siblings haul the pale haired boy up to his feet and sit him on the couch, staunchly ignoring his sputtered protests as they set about their separate tasks. Qiao Ling distributes the milk tea [except he can't ever recall telling Lu Guang his order], and hands Cheng Xiaoshi the first-aid kit, and the dark haired boy makes sure Lu Guang doesn't run away again while he treats his hand.

If that involves hooking his ankle over Lu Guang's knee, then- he didn't get his usual amount of physical contact today, so Lu could deal.

"Haven't you ever thrown a punch before!? How did you bruise yourself this badly?" he scolds, taking immense pleasure in the cowed look his friend sports, "Guangguang-"

"You were in the hospital-"

"That's no excuse-!"

Whatever Lu Guang was going to say gets cut off when Qiao Ling shoves the straw of his milk tea into his mouth- partly to distract him from the sting of antiseptic, partly to stop whatever self sacrificial bull that was inevitably going to fall out.

Because it wasn't enough for Lu to be pretty, no no noooo, he had to be nice too. And get Cheng Xiaoshi things like milk tea, and like anime, and cats.

Cheng Xiaoshi channels all his focus onto gently applying the blue and white cat plaster, because he could buy nice things for Lu Guang too, over the worst of the bruising. Honestly, it's not going to do much for a bruise but hopefully it'll make his friend a bit happier.

Something, something, placebo effect- Qiao Ling was talking about it once.

Cheng Xiaoshi can still tell Lu wants to bolt.

So he sidles up next to him, practically traps him against the arm really, and heckles his sister into a round of online PVP. He even lets Lu Guang pick his character, though he's used to a completely different playstyle and loses each round. Which is the excuse he uses when Qiao Ling beats his ass ten ways from Sunday. Again.

In the warmth of the sun behind him, with Cheng Xiaoshi's thigh pressed to his, the pale haired boy succumbs to an inevitable cat nap- open novel falling loosely from his slender fingers.

Cheng Xiaoshi catches it, barely, before it can thump against the ground- struggling between keeping up with the fight and not losing his friend's place- and...

Ah.

The semi-loud [he turned his volume down when he noticed Lu dozing off] theme of defeat plays from his phone, accompanied by large red letters spelling out K.O. He almost doesn't care though, when it was caused by soft white hair brushing his cheek and an even softer cheek on his shoulder.

Lu Guang's hand, that had previously been holding his oh-so-precious novel, had curled around Xiaoshi's lower arm while his other gripped onto the sleeve of his upper arm. Just like last time, it was feeble, but oh.

This was not good for his heart.

Distantly, he registers himself making a squeaky- prolonged sort of inhale, and his arm trembles with the effort of keeping completely still and it takes Qiao Ling forcefully shutting his jaw with her hand for him to chill.

"Oh my god-" Cheng Xiaoshi wheezes, dropping his phone onto the couch cushions [he's careful not to drop the novel though], "It happened again!"

"It's happening again," she corrects, scrambling for her own phone, "Guangguang..."

If there was one thing the siblings could agree on, it was that Lu Guang was adorable and ethereal and it really wasn't fair how he could be both without even trying.

"...you'll send me those photos right?"

"Duh."

3: The third time it happens is completely on purpose.

Well- not on Lu Guang's end. But, regardless! An experiment demands results and Lu introduced too interesting of a hypothesis. Who knew his best friend was such a secret cuddlebug?

Well- he was a secret [was it a secret or did Xiaoshi just never ask...?] coser too, so maybe it was par for the course. Lu Guang and secrets.

Anyway-

Cheng Xiaoshi is standing dutifully just outside the living room, occasionally casting glances at Lu's dozing form. It was just around midday, which meant the sun was hitting the cushions in just the right way to keep the pale haired boy content and lazy. In Cheng Xiaoshi's blue and white sweater.

Yeah, he wasn't that oblivious. He knew he wasn't getting that shirt back any time soon. Or ever. Damn.

Qiao Ling sidles up next to him, her phone poised to begin the final phase of their cuddlebug theory.

See, they tested if Lu Guang would do it awake [he wouldn't. His self control was too strong] and they tested if he would reject physical affection when he was awake [he would, but only if Cheng Xiaoshi was being annoying] and now. Now it was time.

To be fair- Cheng Xiaoshi kind of owed Lu Guang for the last test too. Which had inadvertently led to his friend being in a... rather uncomfortable situation. It wasn't on purpose, obviously, normally the siblings were very good at keeping Lu away from touchy strangers.

Sometimes one would just- slip through the cracks.

Regardless, Lu Guang had earned his current doze and even more so had earned another cat gift. Not that he had to earn those, Xiaoshi was more than happy to keep buying them.

Speaking of- his sister sidles up next to him, phone at the ready.

"You got the goods?" she asks.

Cheng Xiaoshi pulls out the longish, white cat plush he had seen in the window on his way home- embellished with blue eyes and forget me nots on the flank- and nods.

The final cuddlebug test... was it just human contact Lu Guang sought out when asleep? Or... would he cuddle anything? These were pressing concerns!

Also Lu Guang could never find out about his album of sleepy pictures. Ever. Or he'd undoubtedly make the siblings delete them. Xiaoshi wasn't doing anything with the pictures, nothing nefarious at least, but for some reason the pale haired boy always seemed uncomfortable having his picture online.

It was hard to notice, if you didn't know him, but Cheng Xiaoshi liked to think he was an expert in Lu language by now. And he noticed things. Like how Guangguang would only let his picture be taken by Qiao Ling or yours truly.

So maybe he wouldn't make Cheng Xiaoshi delete the album. But hey, Xiaoshi should be allowed to keep embarrassing photos too! Equivalent exchange or whatever it was that blond pipsqueak said! He didn't really get a good look at what Lu was reading.

He creeps forward, trying to keep his footsteps light. His socked feet helped, as well as the years he spent playing basketball, but sometimes-

creeeak.

The floorboards would do that.

Lu Guang snuffles slightly, but Qiao Ling opens the curtains a bit wider and he settles down.

God, he was best friends with a cat.

Alright.

Finally, Cheng Xiaoshi finds himself in a position very similar to the one he was in when this all started. Behind the couch, and reaching down. There's just big enough of a gap between Lu and the cushion that Xiaoshi can set the kitty plush down without disturbing him too much.

The results are immediate.

The second the soft fur of the plush brushes his cheek, [which was arguably softer, Xiaoshi would say] Lu Guang was curling into it. It was too goddamn cute, god, why did he think this was a good idea. He was going to have a heart attack before he even hit 30.

The pale haired boy brought his arm around the cat plush, burying his nose somewhere between the ears, and brings his knees up. His breaths even out from a light doze to something truly peaceful.

This might've worked better than Cheng Xiaoshi's arm.. huh.

That kinda made his chest hurt a little, in a distinctly more painful way than an abundance of affection.

Xiaoshi goes to pull his hand away, which had still carefully been resting on the scruff of the cat, to let his sister get some unobstructed pictures [and snag a few of his own] when Lu makes another sound. A sad little sound.

A sound that makes Cheng Xiaoshi freeze.

Because slender fingers are holding onto his jacket sleeve again.

It's a grip closer to his hand than his wrist this time, not really much of a grip at all, but it still stops Cheng Xiaoshi cold.

Qiao Ling is having the time of her life taking pictures.

So... experiment inconclusive?

+ 1: There's something tacky under his nails.

It's caked over Cheng Xiaoshi's fingers and palms too, so deeply engrained in every groove and arch and whorl that it cracks when he curls his fists.

He can't get it off.

Water runs and runs and runs and runs until the basin is pink and overflowing and drenching his socks in the blood of someone he doesn't know.

Or- does he know them? Who is he? Who's hands is he washing?

The scene around him changes, breaks away like static as he finds himself back in the living room. Their couch- who's couch?- is splattered with bright red paint. Thread hangs from the ceiling, looped in nooses and strung across cork boards and holding photos. A blood moon paints everything like a darkroom, but the light doesn't feel safe at all.

Then the bodies appear.

Lu Guang on the couch, Liu Min strung from the ceiling, Emma on the floor by the blond's feet, Li Tianxi by the windows, and so many more. Faceless people and limbs sticking out from under the floorboards and furniture and there's so much blood.

It's no longer just caked to hands, it's on his face. It's in his mouth, on his clothes-

The photos develop with startling intensity, full of people he never knew personally but that he's been. It's all too much, too soon, too many pieces of information that click into a truly ugly overexposed piece, too many lives-

His foot hits something fleshy, something that warms his sock with thick, cloying intensity.

When he looks down, he sees his own face.

Cheng Xiaoshi wakes up with a scream on the tip of his tongue.

His blanket twists around his limbs, creating a damning sort of cocoon that makes him want to just to throw himself off the side of the bed and get to Lu Guang or a mirror and check if they're both still alive-

Unfortunately, he neglects to remember where he was sleeping. Thin arms wrap around Cheng Xiaoshi's middle before he can splat into the hardwood.

"This-" Lu Guang huffs behind him, fruitlessly trying to drag his friend back onto the mattress, "is why you sleep on the bottom bunk."

Right..

Cheng Xiaoshi scoots backwards until he doesn't feel his stomach swooping- his mind still reeling and his hands still tacky. He.. vaguely remembers now. Why he was in Lu Guang's bed.

Lu Guang-!

The startled yip his pale haired friend let out would be cute in another circumstance, but right now Xiaoshi only cares about finding a pulse. That dream had felt too real, too vivid, and- and Cheng Xiaoshi needs proof, okay? He just needs..

There's nothing but smooth skin when he jerks Lu's sleep shirt up.

"What are you-!?"

"It's gone..." he mutters, trailing his thumb over the spot where there should be a thin scar, but Cheng Xiaoshi finds nothing but tensed muscle. Or- muscle adjacent. "Why is it gone..?"

Lu Guang looks terrified when Xiaoshi meets his eyes, with an odd amber glow passing over his soft face.

It's only then that he realizes he's practically groping his best friend.

"ack- Sorry! Sorry," he sputters, pulling away just as abruptly as when he jumped him, "I was just- I was so sure..."

"It was just a dream, Cheng Xiaoshi."

Slender fingers grab onto both sides of his face, forcing him to meet weirdly determined kitten grey eyes. Lu Guang holds his gaze until he nods. And then he nods more emphatically.

Yeah- yeah. Seriously- why would Lu Guang have a knife scar? And he's never even met someone named Emma or Li Tianxi- he thinks he might've heard about Liu Min on the news before, briefly, maybe. But..

But it felt so real. And personal. Like- like maybe he had lived it before, lived as those people and watched- watched them die.. had seen himself die-

"-Xiaoshi." Lu Guang shakes him out of it and presses his forehead to his, miming deep breaths, "It was just a dream. Everyone is okay."

Just a dream.. just a dream. Right. His pale haired friend takes one hand off his face to press one of Cheng Xiaoshi's to his chest- over his clothes this time.

God, he can't believe he just manhandled- he'll worry about it in the morning. When he's not desperately focused on the slightly too fast thump-thump-thump under his fingers. Then he'll think about Lu Guang's very soft, very unscarred skin.

"Go to sleep, Cheng Xiaoshi."

....he reeeally hopes he didn't say any of that out loud.

If he did, it doesn't look like Lu Guang cared all too much. At least, it didn't look like he cared enough to pull away as he maneuvered the two into laying down again. And buried his nose into loose black hair.

Cheng Xiaoshi wheezes, astounded by his luck. This- Lu Guang never cuddled him! Not consciously! He- oh, he couldn't wait to-

"No one will believe you," his friend murmurs, sleepy and warm and devious, "Sleep, Xiaoshi. Or I'll make you go back to your own bed."

For a second, Cheng Xiaoshi believes his fair friend. But he feels the slight trembles of slender fingers on his shoulders- the jackrabbit heartbeat under his ear and the shallow breaths on his hair, and he thinks Lu needs this just as much as he does. Xiaoshi smiles.

"Liar."

[volkswagonblues]

@alluroa asked me about book recs, so I'd thought I'd do a combined

2023-24 fav books in review

I've grouped them together in pairs for thematic relevance

The God of the Woods // North Woods

God of the Woods is set in a girl's summer camp in the 1970s; North Woods is a long American historical novel that traces the history of one patch of New England land from the first European settlers onwards. I them together because they cover similar geographical regions. I thought both of them had an incredible sense of time and place, very good if you enjoy new england

2. Breakfast of Champions // Penance

To me, both are just fucking MASTERPIECES that defy genre. Sorry guys that I'm trying to toot Vonnegut's horn in 2024, like wow, check out this tiny indie writer that no one has ever heard of. But Breakfast of Champions truly feels shockingly fresh for something written fifty years ago. Race inequality, gender relations, the rot of late capitalist America... 1973 Vonnegut had already seen and nailed it all.

Penance by the way is a must read for every tumblrina. It has the most perfect pastiche of fandom I had ever seen, it's got me HOWLING multiple times. And the way that Clark depicts female friendships...it's like those photorealistic dutch paintings of flowers where you can't believe it was painted. I can't believe anyone just. Made this up. Her fucking mind.....

3. The Invisible Kingdom // Strangers to Ourselves

The Invisible Kingdom is about the writer's struggle with chronic illness, which I think precedes long covid but very relevant to the Current Conditions Of Our Times. Stranger to Ourselves's chapter on eating disorders and the chapter on schizophrenia reframed how I thought about those things. Maybe I'm shallow but I genuinely found it so profound in the way it framed mental illness as a "career" that people fall in to. That's a very bad summary. Go read it yourself.

4. The Guest // The Master Key

Okay, sorry, but I felt like the entire world was reading The Guest last summer so I won't explain too much, but I'll say I really like this style of prose. The language is simple, but so elegantly done. Very sharp social satire. I wish I could write like this. The Master Key is a Japanese mystery novel that's a pastiche of the Golden Age of 20th century mysteries. Very classic "locked room" mystery, but with a really brilliant dose of social drama. It's set in an apartment building where only unmarried woman are allowed to live. The tenants who remained after decades are often sad, lonely, and hiding some bizarre secret. So good I almost forgot it's a murder mystery

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 787: The back that was pushed!!

Pag 1

1: Packed with the passion of everyone in Sohoku... a full throttle injection of will-power!!

Pag 2

1: Iitsuka-san!!

Goo Fukuoka!!

Oh, Tomaribata!!

Fukuoka, take the mountain!!

2: What about Hakogaku's Manami!?

3: Don't worry about him. He did catch up to me but then suddenly stopped

When I shouted at him, he closed his eyes and fell silent!!

4: Is it because he found out that Iitsuka-san is Fukuoka Josei's “mountain shogun”?

Yeah, probably!!

Amazing!!

5: Let's take the lead now!!

Ahead there's also Fujiwara-san from the Kyuushu team Kumadai!!

6: But anyway for a moment I was so scared....

Pag 3

1: When Hakogaku sent ahead their ace Manami!!

2: I can hear it

4: The first day's mountain prize!! Let's take it, at our hometown's Inter High!!

5: Wait....!!

6: “The sound of wheels”? “He's catching up”?

Could it be that Manami is waiting for someone?

Pag 4

1: And that's why he slowed down....!?

2: Raise your pace, Tomaribata!!

4: We're still at the start of the mountain, if we use up our legs here....

It's fine, we'll establish a good distance now

Huh!? But

Think, idiot!! If you think about it, you'll get it!! The person Manami slowed his legs down to wait for....

Pag 5

1: It's Sohoku's “Mountain King”!!

Pag 8

1: Mountain King!!

2: Fo-fo-for the first day's mountain!?

Why even the Mountain King, even the Mountain King!!

I don't know!! I don't know but that doesn't change the reality!!

3: Last year so many times we couldn't race each other

So I thought that maybe this year too...

4: What do I do if he doesn't come, I thought....

5: I was scared

6: For a while I couldn't even open my eyes

Pag 9

2: I caught up

4: Thank god it's real!!

Pag 10

1: You came, Sakamichi-kun

Yeah!! Manami-kun!!

Pag 11

1: Can we race?

2: Yes!!

Pag 12

3: Everyone in the team pushed my back!!

Pag 13

1: Onoda-kun!!

2: He should have caught up with Manami around now!!

3: Onoda-san!!

4: Hahaha!!

5: Back-gate slope-senpai!!

6: At full throttle!!

At full throttle!!

Run!!

Please run!!

Pag 14

1: Nghh...!!

2: “Nghhh” it's right!!

3: Ahaha

Hahaha

They're suddenly laughing, let's raise our pace!!

Yes!!

4: It was during your training camp on our first year

5: When we raced for the first time

6: I remember I was so excited when I heard that our names were “Sakamichi” and “Sangaku”

It's the perfect combo!!

Pag 15

1: I was surprised you didn't even have your feet fastening on

We stopped at the summer house and talked

2: We were so free back then!!

We didn't have any responsibility, not teams nor jerseys!!

3: Ahaha

4: When you're in second and third year the things you have to do increases so much....

5: I'd throw this “captain” title away anytime!!

Hahaha I get it, it's difficult for me too

Pag 16

1: If someone on my team heard that they would get angry

Doubashi-kun especially would get angry!!

Sounds scary...

4: You're wearing the number “3”

Ah, yeah, uhm, we talked with everyone on the team

Huh.... on official races the winner of the previous year should wear the number “1”

5: I see, leave it to me then

I'll push through, hahaha!!

Thank you!!

Is.. is that alright?

Waa, Pierre-sensei is so reliable!!

6: Your teacher....!!

Then...

7: Yeah, “3” like Makishima-san's “173”

Pag 17

1: I'm also wearing Toudou-san's number “13”

2: “Sleeping beauty”!!

Kuah!! Toudou!!

Pag 18

1: That day, the first day of the Inter High two years ago

2: While we were pulling the team, I imagined those two fighting for the mountain prize....

3: I'm sure they must be having fun

Fighting until you're empty

It can't not be fun!!

4: We can't go right now, but let's do it

A fight until the last drop, until our limits!!

Yeah!!

5: We promised to race

Today may be the day to truly make that wish....

Pag 19

1: come true!!

Pag 20

1: Our third year, the last Inter High

2: The first day.... a fight to compete only for the colored bib

3: The purity of this race is infinitely high!!

4: Yeah!!

Pag 21

5: Let's do it, Manami-kun!!

Pag 22

2: I've been waiting to hear those words!!

[samioli]

Are you doing the "Drunken Love Confessions" game? If so, I'd love a 16. "This is not a dream, I think. In my dreams we're usually kissing." - narumitsu. Thanks!

Hi there! Thanks for the prompt! I can't believe this is the first narumitsu thing I've written in months, CRAZY. I hope you enjoy!

16. "This is not a dream, I think. In my dreams we're usually kissing."

Phoenix never expected Miles Edgeworth to be this much of a lightweight. 

He always pictured him drinking glass upon glass of wine and still being his perfect, elegant, slightly-pompous self. 

Who knew if you got him to do a few tequila shots that all went away?

Although to be fair, he’s definitely been less of an ass these past few months, Phoenix thought to himself, gazing at the man who was currently dozing off on his shoulder in the taxi they were in together. Once you’ve seen a guy drool on your suit jacket, he kinda seemed a little less scary to you.

Besides…he’s been through a lot. 

Phoenix softened as Edgeworth started to snore lightly in his sleep. After everything with the von Karma case, he thought the man deserved as many naps as he wanted.

Still though, Phoenix wasn’t sure what it exactly meant for the two of them. Were they acquaintances? Co-workers? Friends?

…Could they ever be more?

That’s not fair, Phoenix, he chastised himself. Let the man breathe; no need to smother him with your weird crush that you’ve had since you were kids.

He had to remind himself that the guy just found out his mentor (and kind of adoptive father) killed his dad all those years ago—a crime he blamed himself for.

Edgeworth deserved a break.

Which was exactly why Phoenix practically dragged him for a post-trial celebration. He wanted Edgeworth to get his mind off of things, to even let loose a little bit, but he wasn’t really sure if that was possible.

After tonight, Phoenix knew it was. Edgeworth turned out to be a really goofy and happy drunk, which surprised the hell out of him. He honestly never thought he’d associate the word goofy with Edgeworth before, but hey, never say never.

Edgeworth was laughing at Phoenix’s sub-par jokes, giggling to himself and practically beaming at him all night.

It was…nice.

Addicting, even. He wished he could see that side of Edgeworth more.

“Is over here alright?” The taxi driver asked, shaking Phoenix out of his thoughts. He looked out the window at this really fancy-shmancy apartment complex, hoping Edgeworth had given the right address.

Phoenix gently raised his shoulder, attempting to wake the man up. “Psst. Edgeworth. We’re here, I think.”

It took a moment, but Edgeworth started to wake, opening and closing his eyes a few times. “Hmm?”

God, he was adorable.

“Is this the right place?” he asked, trying not to fall head over heels in love with a man who could barely tolerate his existence up until recently.

Edgeworth blinked a few more times—first at him, then at the apartment building. He seemed to think about it for a bit before perking up. 

“Oh! We’re home.”

Phoenix attempted not to choke on his own spit at that, at Edgeworth implying that it was their home, but was it a fucking task. 

He didn’t mean it like that, he’s drunk right now.

Phoenix tried to get his shit together and thanked the taxi driver, shuffling Edgeworth out of the cab. He was a little wobbly in his movements, but he could still somewhat stand up on his own.

Thankfully.

“Alright, buddy,” Phoenix started, deciding to take the chance to call Edgeworth that when he knew he could totally get away with it now, “lead me to your place.”

Edgeworth nodded sagely. “Certainly,” he said, sounding almost like his usual, eloquent self.

Until he bumped straight into a wall.

“Woah!” Phoenix half exclaimed, half laughed. He rushed to Edgeworth’s side to make sure there weren’t any injuries. “You okay, bud?”

The man in question responded with a hum. “I’m fine. Tired.”

He chuckled. “Point to which apartment is yours, okay?”

They got to Edgeworth’s apartment with little to no issues (Edgeworth was wobbling here and there) and Phoenix asked him for the key to open the door. Once they were inside, he was going to ask where Edgeworth’s room was, but the man plopped himself on the couch in the living room.

“Hey, don’t you want to sleep in your bed? That’s gonna kill your back tomorrow.”

“Hmm. No. Don’t want to move,” Edgeworth said, closing his eyes and lying down on his couch.

“Come on, you have to at least change out of your suit.”

Edgeworth groaned, a bit like a child. Phoenix tried not to laugh.

“C’mon,” Phoenix urged, trying to lift Edgeworth. “Up you go.”

Edgeworth obeyed him the rest of the way until they got to his room, only muttering to himself a little bit.

Phoenix sat Edgeworth on his bed as he looked in his drawers for some kind of pajamas. 

“The top drawer has my night clothes,” Edgeworth slurred, lying back on the bed.

“Yes, sir,” Phoenix said, hearing Edgeworth giggle behind him. He grabbed what looked like really fancy pajamas—pink satin ones.

Wow. This guy lives a life of luxury.

He turned and placed them on the bed, tilting his head when Edgeworth was still giggling. “What’s so funny?”

“You…you called me—” Edgeworth went into a fit of giggles. “You called me sir. I usually call you that.”

Phoenix laughed, scrunching his face in confusion. “What? You’ve never called me that in your life.”

Edgeworth’s brow furrowed. “Oh. Really? I guess I’ve only said it in my dreams.”

Phoenix froze, feeling heat creep into his cheeks. 

He didn’t mean…No, that’s crazy.

“U-Uh.” He coughed. “Okay, then.” He cleared his throat, patting the pajamas on the bed. “You think you can change by yourself?”

Edgeworth nodded. “Indeed. Verily.”

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. “Well, okay. I’m gonna get you a glass of water okay? Give you some time to change."

He led himself into the kitchen and prepared two glasses, feeling a bit thirsty himself. 

He tried not to think about the comment Edgeworth made.

He failed. Several times.

After trying to calm himself and get rid of any inappropriate thoughts, he went back toward Edgeworth’s room holding the two glasses of water. 

“Edgeworth?” he called out. “You changed?”

Phoenix heard some sort of affirmative sound, pushing the door open. He placed the glasses of water on the nightstand.

When he looked at Edgeworth, his breath stopped.

Why does he have to be so goddamn cute? WHY.

He looked absolutely adorable in his fancy pajamas—even had a little sleeping cap on. It was so unfair.

“Before you sleep, drink some water for me okay?”

Edgeworth opened his eyes, gray irises staring at him. After a moment, he smiled softly. “Alright,” he said, rising a bit out of bed into a sitting position. He took the glass of water closest to him and started to drink.

Satisfied, Phoenix took the other glass and started drinking some of his own. Edgeworth settled his glass down on the nightstand and looked at him intensely.

He lowered his glass a bit, tilting his head. “What is it?”

“This is not a dream…is it?” Edgeworth mused, before shaking his head. “No, I don’t think it is.”

Phoenix smiled softly before taking another sip of his water.

“If this were one of my usual dreams, we’d be kissing.”

Phoenix promptly inhaled his water, going into a coughing fit.

What????

While he coughed and coughed, Phoenix’s mind went racing. Surely this was just Edgeworth talking nonsense, right? It had to be. The guy hated him until a few days ago! And even then it was pretty shaky ground!

There was no way Edgeworth had dreams about kissing him. No way at all.

…Right?

“Are you alright?” Edgeworth asked, and woah, when did he get up out of bed? He was in Phoenix’s space, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

It didn’t really help the situation.

“I’m fine,” Phoenix choked out, in between a few coughs. He waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about me, go sleep.”

Edgeworth peered at him for a few more moments, before he relented, going back toward the bed and laying down. “If you insist.”

I gotta get outta here before I do something stupid. 

There were a few moments of silence as Phoenix simply watched Edgeworth settle himself on the bed.

We’ll talk about it in the morning.

There was always going to be morning. And if there wasn’t, they’d find a chance to talk about it eventually. Phoenix would make sure of it.

It’s not like the guy was going anywhere any time soon—they’d find the time.

After a few more moments of silence, Phoenix figured Edgeworth had fallen asleep. He clicked the lamp on the nightstand off, cascading the room in darkness.

“Goodnight, Edgeworth,” he said softly. 

Tomorrow.

He walked toward the door, ready to leave the room.

“Phoenix?”

He stopped. That was the first time Edgeworth called him that in years. It made his heart pound.

“...Yes?”

“Thank you again,” Edgeworth murmured, so softly it made his chest ache. “You saved me.”

And it was the way Edgeworth said it, like he was in awe, that made Phoenix speechless.

He swallowed. “Of course.” He lingered for a few more moments. “Goodnight, Edgeworth," he repeated, feeling like it was the only thing he could say.

“Goodnight, Wright.”

Phoenix stared for a beat longer in the darkness before he forced his legs to move out of the doorway.

They’d talk about it tomorrow.

[millicent-bystandr]

Sims Nostalgia

Look at this shot in all of its low-res glory. This is my legacy founder, John Carter. The metadata says it was taken on November 15, 2007. I mean, MY GOD, that was a long time ago.

I have no idea what got me feeling nostalgic all the sudden, but I've been thinking way too much this week about my old legacy story, reading some legacy stories I used to love, missing my old friends from the boolprop forums, and fighting the temptation to start writing again.

Is it weird to go back and reread your own stories? I did that last night and fell in love all over again with some of my sim characters. Not that I'm such a brilliant writer, but because I was remembering being excited about that story and where it was going.

But honestly, good lord, how did any of us who were writing big dramatic legacy stories back then think it would ever be sustainable? Between playing multiple households, storyboarding, staging and posing, and then writing, I have no idea how we found the time. No wonder most of the legacies I loved ended suddenly, with dramatic cliffhangers and dangling plot threads, mine included.

SIGH. You can't go home again, but I do wish I could get back a little bit of that magic.

And to any of my old boolprop or magic box friends who might still be around (100% sure most of them have moved on), DM me--I'd love to know you're out there. (I should mention that my name on there was leaths, instead of assuming anyone would remember who I am lol)

I thought the last day of the year would be a good time to indulge my nostalgia. Tomorrow I'll start thinking about how I want to spend my simming 2025.

So anyway, if you've read my ramblings this far, I'd love to hear if you have any stories or writers you miss from that era. I'm so glad this community is still going strong, even if it's changed so much.

[thesnadger]

Saw an occupational therapist and for the first time I felt like I was talking to someone who actually understood my pain, who didn't find my symptoms baffling and (I swear, I hope, I pray) actually may have found the root cause for both the spinal injuries and the constant, widespread muscular pain that can't be explained by the spine.

It's the best thing and the worst thing ever. The best thing because for the first time I feel like I have hope that this is a problem that can be fixed and treated, and not just a mystery where I either hope it stops on it's own one day or I somehow learn to live with pain for the rest of my life.

It's also the worst thing because I wish so badly I'd found this person a year ago, and because understanding the actual problem has made my body feel fragile to me in a way that stresses me out hugely and makes my pain actually feel worse.

The short term is that I'm probably going to have a very difficult time for a while as I process all this knowledge and slowly get an idea of what the future and the present will look like for me. But like, God, for the first time in a year, thinking about the future actually makes me feel like there's hope, and a reason to believe my pain can get better and even be gone someday.

God I want to experience a day without pain. I want several days in a row without pain. I want to be pain free so often that I don't even think about it, or stress about it going away. God I want that, please, please, please.

[spencer-todd]

Keeping up with the Waynes, Christmas special, part 2

(Resolution to the slight angst last part, happy ending!)

(Christmas morning, Wayne Manor)

Damian: NO!

Tim: YES!

Damian: CLEARLY, IT SAYS "DAMIAN" ON THE TAG!

Tim: CLEARLY, IT SAYS "DRAKE"!

Alfred, taking the present: Clearly, young sirs, it says "Duke". I believe master Dick is to blame for this atrocious handwriting.

Dick: Hey! My handwriting isn't that bad!

Steph: Except that it is, and nobody knows whose gift is who's because of it.

Dick: Et tu?

Steph: Something in that sentence was wrong.

Cass, walking over to Bruce: Dad. Gift.

Bruce, taking the present: Aww, Cassie.

*Bruce opens it to find a handmade navy blue scarf with his initials sewn into the corner*

Bruce, tearing up: Did you make this for me?

Cass: *nods*

Bruce: *hugs her while crying*

*Crash*

Bruce: Dick! Be nice to Jason!

Dick: NOOOO! You can't make me!

Bruce: Alfred can.

Dick, sitting down: Touché.

Jason: It's his fault. Milk chocolate is not better than dark chocolate. It's not a hill you need to die on.

Dick: How terribly dull for you to live your life without any hills to die on.

Jason: I have plenty of hills I'd die on.

Dick, raising his voice and standing on a couch arm like a stereotypical orator: You! on your vast, flat, barren plains of compromise, acceptance, and accommodation-

Jason: WHO'S COMPROMISING??!!

Dick, even louder: BARREN PLAINS! BARREN, WHILE I REIGN SUPREME OVER THE LUSH, ROLLING HIGHLANDS OF INCREDIBLE OPINIONS I HAVE ELECTED TO STAKE MY ENTIRE IDENTITY ON!

Jason: *Starts running at Dick*

Dick, quickly, as Jason tackles him off the couch: THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH ALL THE FUCKS I GIVE ON SELECT TOPICS!

*More Crashes*

Bruce: Ok, let's continue with the presents!

Damian, unwrapping a present from Selina: A bell?

Selina: Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.

Damian: Oh, I am aware. I've created a robot that rings 40 bells 80 times per hour.

Duke: Oh, no.

Damian: I've been running it nonstop for three years.

Bruce: Tired Dad Sigh (TM)

Damian: Soon, all of the angels will have wings.

Tim: Oh, god.

Damian: Heaven's hierarchy is in shambles.

Duke: No

Damian: The chorus weeps

Bruce: Please stop.

Damian: God knows I'm coming for his throne.

Me: OK! That's enough. August! You haven't opened anything.

August: Oh, sorry! I was reading this news article.

Bruce, hopeful that one of his children is normal: Oh? What is it?

August: "Spiders blamed after broken siren played creepy nursery rhymes randomly at night to UK townsfolk."

*Bruce visibly loses all hope*

Steph: Could any word in that headline get any more terrifying?

Me: Probably. Multi-legged horror hamsters, anyone?

Damian: *raises hand*

Bruce: *Lowers it*

*All the gifts were opened, food had eaten, and Christmas movies put on the TV as the family gathers to watch in the living room. Jason notices Spencer's absence and goes to their bedroom, finding her sitting on the floor. He closes the door and leans on the frame*

Spencer, facing the fireplace: Jay, I- we need to talk.

Jason: I figured. You never leave Christmas movie night.

Spencer: Two months ago, I was on a mission in Rome. While on that mission, I was stabbed, as you know, and I was severely injured.

Jason: I remember.

Spencer: What I haven't told you is that I found out later that I was pregnant. The wound cost me the baby and any chance of having more. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before. I just didn't know how.

*Jason walks over to Spencer, and sits down behind her, pulling her into his arms in a back hug.*

Spencer, sighing: How long have you known?

Jason: Gideon sent me the file last night.

Spencer: You must be furious.

Jason: No. I understand. I do wish you had told me before, but I understand why you didn't.

Spencer, scoffing quietly: You do?

Jason, pulling her closer: You were scared. You knew that it would hurt, and you didn't want to imagine what might happen. You knew you could trust me, but could you trust me? Would I be comforting or would I lash out in anger and drive a wedge between us? You told yourself "That's silly! Of course he won't be angry at me!" But, what if I was? Would you be ok? Would we be ok? Emotions are so hard. Why can't everything just go back to normal?

Spencer: Every single one of those thoughts have been on replay in my head for the past two months nonstop, in that exact order.

Jason: I know. But you don't need to be scared. It hurts, but it's going to be ok. You can trust me with your whole life and all of your secrets. I promise you I will never lash out at you. I will always be here to comfort you. I'm not angry at you. You're going to be ok. We're going to be ok. Emotions are hard, but you're stronger than the hardships you face. It's ok if nothing is normal. I'm here for you. I love you.

Spencer: I love you, too. *kisses Jason* I think we'll make it in time for the second movie.

Jason: Wonderful plan, love.

(@august0bone)

[echoflowerwhispers]

HUMAN and GODS/DIVINE AU I made a year ago

@scri--bble @sokemysty sorry guys but this was all I found in my secret stash of old drawings 😔

The human is Killer and the demon thing is Nightmare (idk why his eye magically came back in the first drawing he isn't supposed to have it lmao)

Ranting under the cut

I remember the plot was that Killer (in university) summoned a demon as a joke thinking nothing of it and then Nightmare showed up. Nightmare was basically bound by contract to fulfill the wish of the person who summoned him so he couldn't leave so Killer made the most of it. His wishes where to 1 not get kicked out of uni for his bad grades 2 not to kill himself until the end of the year and 3 to get a partner before the end of the year (???). Nightmare decided that was too complicated and Killer would have to give him something in return. The thing Nightmare wanted was for Killer to chop the oldest tree in the forest (cuz Dream trapped Nightmare's power inside it or smth idk).

Anyway Nightmare decides to turn himself into a human and go to the same uni as Killer cuz that would make it easier to help Killer with his grades or smth idk. But then Dream realises Nightmare found someone to release him and also turned himself into a human and went to the uni to ensure Killer won't free Nightmare (and Cross is also there to guard Dream).

They eventually have a confrontation in the bathrooms (because that's normal??) And it's revealed that Cross used to be bound by a deal (like Killer is now) but Nightmare killed him when he didn't keep his end of the bargain. I think something more dramatic is supposed to happen cuz Killer then gets really upset and has a fight with Nightmare in which he decides to chop the tree (even tho Nightmare didn't do jack shit to keep his end of the deal) and he wants to do it to get rid of Nightmare but when he actually tries to chop the tree he realises Nightmare can feel the pain of the tree so he doesn't chop it completely (despite Nightmare telling him to finish the job). Anyway he gets sad cuz he doesn't want to hurt Nightmare cuz he's like his only friend or whatever.

Nightmare then helps Killer actually get what he wanted but when the end of year comes and Killer still doesn't have a partner and Nightmare kisses him (???) And they become partners ig??? And Dream frees Nightmare cuz he was good or smth???

...

Yeah idk what i was thinking when I made this lmao

Anyway if yall want maybe we could remake the AU ✨️together✨️ but I'd be fine with forgetting this ever even happened lmao

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!

Timeless lyrics

Down the block, there's an antique shop

And something in my head said, "Stop," so I walked in

On the counter was a cardboard box

And the sign said, "Photos: twenty-five cents each"

Black and white, saw a '30s bride

And school lovers laughin' on the porch of their first house

The kinda love that you only find once in a lifetime

The kind you don't put down

And that's when I called you and it's so hard to explain

But in those photos, I saw us instead

And, somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other

In another life, you still would've turned my head even if we'd met

On a crowded street in 1944

And you were headed off to fight in the war

You still would've been mine

We would have been timeless

I would've read your love letters every single night

And prayed to God you'd be comin' home all right

And you would've been fine

We would have been timeless

'Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this

So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

I had to smile when it caught my eye

There was one of a teenage couple in the driveway

Holdin' hands on the way to a dance

And the date on the back said 1958

Which brought me back to the first time I saw you

Time stood still like somethin' in this old shop

I thought about it as I started lookin' 'round

At these precious things that time forgot

That's when I came upon a book covered in cobwebs

Story of a romance torn apart by fate

Hundreds of years ago, they fell in love, like we did

And I'd die for you in the same way if I first saw your face

In the fifteen hundreds off in a foreign land

And I was forced to marry another man

You still would've been mine

We would have been timeless

I would've read your love letters every single night

And run away and left it all behind

You still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

'Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this

So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

Time breaks down your mind and body

Don't you let it touch your soul

It was like an age-old classic

The first time that you saw me

The story started when you said, "Hello"

In a crowded room a few short years ago

And sometimes there's no proof, you just know

You're always gonna be mine

We're gonna be

I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray

We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made

And you'll say, "Oh my, we really were timeless"

We're gonna be timeless, timeless

You still would've been mine

We would've been

Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944

You still would've been mine

We would've been

Down the block, there's an antique shop

And somethin' in my head said, "Stop," so I walked in

🫶🫶🫶

Foolish One lyrics

My cards are on the table, yours are in your hand

Chances are, tonight, you've already got plans

And chances are I will talk myself to sleep again

You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high

Wishful thoughts forget to mention when something's really not right

And I will block out these voices of reason in my head

And the voices say, "You are not the exception

You will never learn your lesson"

Foolish one

Stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love

That ain't never gonna come

You will take the long way, you will take the long way down

You know how to keep me waitin'

I know how to act like I'm fine

Don't know what to call this situation

But I know I can't call you mine

And it's delicate, but I will do my best to seem bulletproof

'Cause when my head is on your shoulder

It starts thinkin' you'll come around

And maybe, someday, when we're older

This is something we'll laugh about

Over coffee every mornin' while you're watching the news

But then the voices say, "You are not the exception

You will never learn your lesson"

Foolish one

Stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love

That ain't never gonna come

You will take the long way, you will take the long way down

Foolish one

Stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love

That ain't never gonna come

You will learn the hard way instead of just walkin' out

Now I'm slidin' down the wall with my head in my hands

Sayin', "How could I not see the signs?"

Oh, you haven't written me or called

But goodbye screamin' in the silence

And the voices in my head are tellin' me why

'Cause you got her on your arm and me in the wings

I'll get your longing glances, but she'll get your ring

And you will say you had the best of intentions

And maybe I will finally learn my lesson

Foolish one

Stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love

That ain't never gonna come

You will take the long way, you will take the long way down

Foolish one

Stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love

That ain't never gonna come

You will learn the hard way instead of just walkin' out, oh-oh, oh, oh

La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, oh

La-la-la-la-la

Ain't never gonna come

Ooh, you will learn the hard way now

Foolish one

Sittin' 'round waiting for confessions of love

They ain't never gonna come

And thinkin' he's the one, you should've been walkin' out

Foolish one

The day is gonna come for your confessions of love

When all is said and done, he just wasn't the one

No, he just wasn't the one

🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

Put in the tags your interpretations or propaganda for a specific song! Tags will be used to decide what songs may be saved if there are extra slots in the next round!

[aradiaravenswood]

407 Days

407 days ago, I decided to write Harry Potter fan fiction after having not written creatively in over ten years. I took a couple of old scenes I had written that had never gone anywhere, added one scene from the perspective of Lucius Malfoy, and posted my first chapter on New Year's Eve, 2023.

407 days later, here we are. This has been an absolutely incredible journey, and I am so honored by the outpouring of support I have received along the way. I've found community here in a way that I was missing, and I can honestly say that writing restitution in absentia has fed my soul in a way that I didn't realize I had been longing for. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much for sticking with me, Ginny, and Draco on this journey. I couldn't have done it without you all - they've certainly grown throughout this story, and so have I, and I hope maybe you have too. Hearing people connect with Draco's and Ginny's emotional journeys warms my little therapist heart.

But don't worry - I'm not going anywhere. As you can see, I've created a series for this fic. Anise said it best in a comment last chapter - what happens after the happy ending, given how much these characters have gone through and how much they still have to resolve? Sometime in 2025, I will be releasing a sequel to this fic entitled "where the sky meets the sea." It will be much less of an action-based story and more of an exploration of Ginny and Draco's relationship. My working summary is: "In which Draco Malfoy goes to trauma therapy, as told by a trauma therapist. In which Ginny Weasley deals with the aftermath of accidentally temporarily becoming a god - oops. In which Draco and Ginny learn to love each other and lead fulfilling lives in a post-Voldemort world."

I don't know an exact release date yet, as I need to fully map it out and I am planning on working on some shorter projects first, but sometime in 2025 for sure - I recommend subscribing either to this series or to me as an author on AO3 if you don't want to miss an update! My pacing will also almost certainly slow down, as you've seen over the last couple months. I did the math, and I wrote over 50,000 words every single month of 2024 - very awesome, but definitely not how 2025 will look.

Again, I'm so honored that you've taken this journey with me, and I'd love to hear from you, either here, on AO3, or on Discord. Please check my AO3 profile for a link to it if you don't have it already. My Carrd is also linked there, where you can get a sneak preview of fics I have planned for this year. I'll also be updating my pinned post on Tumblr to better reflect everything that's on my Carrd.

I wish you well, dear readers - restitution in absentia is now complete.

[shadowcrow]

Bellara Appreciation Week 2025

Day Two: Veil Jumpers | Family

Bellara had always taken pride in her family. When she lost her brother, it was quite possibly the worst thing to have ever happened to her- she carried that guilt with her for a long time.

Meeting Rook- Aurelia Mercar of Tevinter, had changed her, and by extent, her family for good.

(A few letters written by Bellara. One right before leaving to fight Anaris- and Cyrian. One two days later. Then one year later. This is with my rook who is Bellara's biological older sister in her canon.)

Journal Entries (896 words)

(Entry dated before leaving to stop Anaris)

Going to Arlathan today… to stop Cyrian. I don't have a lot of hope that I'll be able to save him. I mean, he seems so dedicated to Anaris! He's not the Cyrian I remember, I have to try to keep that in mind or else I won't be able to do it.

Aurelia seems to be planning something. I know she said that I wouldn't have to make the hard choice if I didn't want to- I'm not really sure what she means? We have to stop Cyrian! I don't know why I'm talking about him as if he's the mastermind behind this; anytime I think about it, I really just want to start crying.

But I don't have that luxury, I have to do this.

Wish me luck.

-B.L.

(Two Days Later)

I… I don't know what to say. I went to Arlathan expecting I would lose my brother all over again. I thought I'd be ready for it, you know? To lose him.

Aurelia comforted me the entire time (it was weird! She was acting like my big sister!) and was acting super shady about a plan she said she had. It was weirder when she asked Davrin, Harding AND Neve to all tag along; usually it's just three of us.

Well. I found out why. It all happened so fast, you know? Cyrian sabotaging the ritual- he didn't expect Anaris to suddenly appear, to grab him and to toss him. It still felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest again, I know that's dramatic, but I had just seen the real him. The him who listened, who loved his family, the version of him I lost.

None of us expected what Aurelia did, I certainly didn't. Absolutely none of us expected her to move- especially that fast, getting her body in between Cyrian and the pillar. I can still hear the cracking sound when they both collided against the pillar. I can still feel the horror in my gut at thinking I lost both my baby brother (again) and my older sister (before I ever got to call her that!).

Cyrian moving, dragging Aurelia's body to a safer spot while the rest of us fought off Anaris… I was glad he was alive, but what if we lost Auri too? She's our friend, Neve's other half and she's very quickly become one of my closest people- even before we knew!

Cyrian and Aurelia are both safe now. Cut off from Anaris. Healing from the "acute blunt force trauma" as Emmrich put it. They're in the Veil Jumper camp now and I'm about to tell Cyrian we have an older sister now that they're both waking up. He doesn't know why we both risked everything- to stop Anaris, to save him and I have to tell him its because I love him.

And Aurelia seems to care just as much, even if she's only MET the side of him that enabled Anaris.

I'm weirdly excited! Wish me luck.

-B.L.

(Later….)

Oh, wow, it's been a while since I wrote, huh? Almost a year now? We got really busy towards the end of it all- stopping the gods, stopping Solas… being rescued from a Blight Eruption…

I remember being in it. Being forced to do what Elgar'nan wanted me to do- hurt people, hurt Minrathous- my sisters city. I didn't want to, but I had to hold on. To see Cyrian again. To see my parents. To see Neve and Auri and everyone else I've come to consider as my family.

It's strange. A year and a half ago, I had a failed relationship. I was working harder than ever to get over the guilt of what happened to my brother. I don't even think I talked to my parents after his funeral? I realize now they thought they lost both of us when Cyrian died. Everything was going BADLY and I was working myself to death.

Today? I can't feel the Blight anymore. I could for a while after; even if I was technically cured. Gus ( one of my nephews!! He's a Grey warden!) feels the same- a fact that relieves his mother (and the rest of us).

I can hear Cyrian laughing as he and Auri are chasing each other through the woods- I know she gave him a head start. I hear my parents whispering just outside where I'm writing this, I know they're amazed they have all of their children back. That they have two grandsons.

We all mourn never meeting Auri's husband- watching Neve get picked at by Halla is hilarious at least. They're very intrigued by her round ears and she just lets them nip at her! She tells us that it's because they're just curious, she is about them so I think they're kindred spirits. (She also doesn't admit she feeds them a few extra berries during mealtime, but we all know.)

I haven't felt so happy in so long, you know? Being surrounded by all of these wonderful people thay I can call my family is better than anything else I've ever experienced.

Ah, shit, they're yelling for me- I think Auri and Cyrian are wrestling now. Well, as the certified middle sister now- it's my job to go make it worse! I'm excited.

Wish me luck!

-B.L. (NOT alone anymore!!)