#god i might not even be a lesbian. what is goign on

[felicityphoenix5]

I have. No Goddamn Idea what the otterverse is so uhhhh,,,,,, infodump me? /nf

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you have given me the greatest gift ever i am vibrating rn sasdfghjhgfdsadfghj

i could take the easy way out and link you to some posts explaining this wacky gay story, but i have been rotating this in my mind constantly for the past three (THREE??? GOD .) months so i am not goign to do that (here and here they are if u want tho)

SO. The Otterverse is a semi-ongoing improv roleplay story that began as a funny little bit over on @lifesteal-headcanons and then somehow spiralled into....... all of this. ("all of this" including but not limited to; lesbians, hamilton quotes, tma references, more lesbians, ✨trauma✨, the apocalypse, even more gay people [everyone in this is queer in someway], tragic backstories and much, much more)

it is currently on its third and probably final (unless we do some spin-offs 👀) season. Season One (Aug 27ish to Sept 5ish) featured me as c!Felix, an immortal phoenix avian, Divorce Anon (aka Divorce and/or Divanon, played by @wallace-marte) a sort of human who kidnapped c!felix and was the antagonist of that season, and c!Paci (played by @pacificseaotter) an otter hybrid(?) and the resident cheater chaos creator. (there were other characters, but we were the main ones)

Season One was (IMO) the best one so far but I digress. It ended with death and grief and unhappy endings for the characters, as well as shock and general "wtf was that week of our lives man" from the actors.

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Season Two came barely two days after the first one, and timeline-wise takes place about six months after the events of s1. I wasn't as involved with the beginning of s2, but the apocalypse Happened somehow. no idea How or Why but there's cosmic horrors goin to wendys and blood rain now. a day in the life ig .

I brought back c!felix for s2, and I think I was the only returning character? wisp (@wisp-exe) might've brought back theirs too idk. anyways, the cast basically tripled in size, mostly because of Captain "otterverse georg" @wlttebane playing a whopping 7 different characters. (shoutout to captain fr he slayed hard with that)

Wallace expanded its lore with three new characters, all connected back to Divanon. (Marri, Leon K [not shown] and Carmin). Mist (paci) created a new character, c!Otter.

Stickynote (played by @cats-thoughts) also joined, after making some absolutely banger fanart for s1 (also shoutout to cat its art is so sadfghjklkjh /vpos)

(and here is where you might want to read that first post i linked, as mist summed up this season more concisely than i ever could. zyr really amazing like that <3)

S2 ended in the same way as the first, with death, pain and destruction, a cruel imitation of the past. funny how that happens /silly.

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and now season three....... ahhh......

s3, due to being in the unfortunate position of starting just when all the actors are Properly Starting School, has been ongoing for about two months now sdfghjklkjhgfds.

not much has happened yet, but I got to work on my flirting skills /silly (they still suck ass [hah.] but yknow) and tensions are on the rise.... so stay tuned for more (when will the "more" arrive? fuck if i know my best bet is christmas break)

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if this seems vague on the actual details, thats cuz it is. i didnt really want to spoil it for you if you did somehow end up reading it in order (which reminds me i need to start archiving the otterverse again... anghd) so lemme know if you have any follow up questions :DD

[redrreign]

relationships are difficult. feelings are difficult. i may or may not have been lowkey invited into my friends relationship like 3 times today. and also i might be some flavor of aromantic so thats. a thing i am dealing with

[lezzzbraaahhhhssss-blog]

(PSA: all lesbians/lesbros/couples/straight people, shit IDC.) seriously, just read my story... i hope it can at least help one couple if not more... i hope it can help that one person who is stuck in the idk realize the loss of their actions and feel the pain that i feel.... bc its real. pops was right, dont give up on love, dont give up on her, even when youre trying to find yourself... she already sees your beauty and who you are... stick by her bc your life will be nothing shy of amazing with a girl like that by your side.

I’ve been going through a really shitty relationship break up for a few months now... My dad sat me down the other day and told me a little something about them.... He said, baby girl, never give up on love no matter how hard it seems to be or how much it hurts.... especially in a relationship. if you find a good woman, treat her right, love her at her highs and at her lows, always tell her she is loved no matter what the circumstances are.... you see, I am the reason for that shitty break up because i had an amazing girl, a truly amazing girl, but i got so consumed by the thought of me and what i needed that i fell through and seriously neglected her. she was always faithful, always so damn supportive of me, and even when i was hard to love she still loved me. i was so selfish and didnt realize it until she was gone... i didnt realize that what i had was a one in a lifetime thing because no one can compare to her, i fucked up. its hard to find a girl who genuine, even if shes been through hell and back herself, shes still just so loving and is reasonable beyond measure. she was always willing to give a little more to our relationship when i felt i couldnt give a lot, she was always there for me... i lost my best damn friend and the love of my life because i forgot that even by putting myself first from time to time (which isnt a bad thing) that i had this amazing, beautiful woman who stood behind me and supported me 250% all the time no matter what. she was my confidant, my best friend, the person who was always there to encourage me and tell me that some of the shit i went through and the way i felt about it was justified and why because she always listened to me... even if i talked for hours on end about the most stupidest shit, she was always attentive and always had feedback. I got caught up in a whole battle between loving her too much and just being me but at the end i realised that i could be me and love her even more because she was willing to do the same for me. she treated me like her equal, she wanted us to work so badly and i just shut her out and basically told her to fuck off... words and actions i will never be able to take back... hurt that i caused her that she would never want to be with me again for... even though i thought i was doing what was best for me by finding myself.... i really lost the one thing that truly mattered the most to me, my best friend, my rock, the girl of my dreams in the process. My dad knew about all of this because i had to talk to someone because i knew that id really fucked up... he told me that love is as simple as you make and if you make it complicated and you dont communicate then youre going to fail every single time. He said that it wasnt a bad thing that iwas trying to find who i was, because everyone deserves that time to do so but knowing what i had behind me was a woman that would have compromised and done anything to make us work, was my ultimate sacrifice and my biggest regret. He loved my ex like she was his own and becuase she was always so so so very good to me. maybe in my youth and obvious immaturity i didnt realize that i had everything i could have ever wanted sitting in the living room with us that night we watched that football game. Even though she didnt really watch it and wasnt prone to be too interested in it she still sat there and was in the moment with me and my pops. that, thats a rare thing to find in someone, in a companion, in a lover, in a best friend... someone who listens, someone who doesnt mind your passions and supports them, someone who loves you for you and unconditionally, someone who will go above and beyond to make things work... a girl that is so rare that even her exes text you and tell you hey you fucked up now you get to learn the hard way like we did. a girl who is always complimented on the beautiful person she truly is on the inside and who is loved by the people, family and friends who truly know how beautiful her heart and soul is..... i took advantage of that and i lost it and i feel so empty now.... so i guess what im trying to say is, if any of you are going through that little twenties crisis where you dont know what you want, who you are as a person, or really what you want to do with life.... if you have that special someone who is there constantly supporting you, willlin to compromise with you and give you what you wnat and need, someone who just truly loves you for you with all of themselves and is willing to make what ever sacrifices neccesary at that time in your life to keep the relationship afloat... dont be a douche bag like me, dont shut that girl out, dont isolate the one good thing that you had but was too selfish or immature to see... even if it was just you trying to figure out who you were, dont push the person that has been there supporting you through everything else away.... guys shes a keeper, especially when she is willing to make sacrifices and still love you just the same and unconditionally when you arent being so easy to love.... i regret my actions, i regret treating her that way and pushing her away because now the one thing that made me happy is making someone else happy and im just sitting here watching it happen, knowing i blew it. knowing that she deserved more from me and that i should have given it to her and been right there in the trenches of our relationship with her and not letting her fight a war, that was my war on her own, even though she was there trying to give me aid, comfort, security, confidence, unwavering support and so ridiculously willing to make the sacrifies that neeeded to be made for the long run in our relationship because she saw the beauty in it, in me, in us and she believed in me and i let her down... dont be that idiot, dont be that selfish asshole, dont push the people that love you the most away even while trying to find yourself, especially if they are right there with you taking punches... she was the best thing that has ever happened to me and i lost it and i know that no one will ever compare to her... even though people are going to tell me not to compare someone to her, i subliminally am because i know what i could have had with her in the long run now, because i realise just how happy she made me now, because it took her walking away and letting me go to realise that i really fucked up. please, if youre going through it or something similar to what i had to learn the hard way about... talk to her, find a common ground at least until you know that you are who you are, dont let the fear of the unknown keep you from the best years of spending them with the absolute love of your life.... reach out to her, love her, dont be afraid to love her because if shes anything like my girl was, she loves you so much even now, even when you are being difficult, even when you dont know and youre unsure, even when you might be scared that youre sacrificing your own life and losing who you are in the process of loving them.... youre not, especially if they are there and supportive and willing to love you nontheless if not more because they see what youre going through and they see what you can become and they see the beauty in what kind of relationship you will still have together. relationships are never easy, youre always going to have to work at them, thats a fact and something else pops told me. if shes your best friend, you love her, you cant think of any other way to address her other than with a good morning i hope you slept well or an i love you or thats all youre thinking about while youre going through that period of time.... then shes the one for you, especially if she is still there just being her. being ready to take on what ever challenges you feel you may face, being ready to love you innately, being ready to compromise even on the shittiest days ever, talk to her.... dont fucking shut her out.... youre not just hurting yourself but youre destroying her. dont be a me and watch her go through life with someone else wishing and knowing that it could have been you. thats real, thats coming from the heart of an asshole who hurt the one person that would have done absolutely anything for her in this world. if anything learn from my mistake. dont let your head and your heart fight a battle, just love her and let her support you, talk to her and at least see what happens. dont give her the silent treatment when she doesnt deserve it. shes tellign you shes there for you, be there for her and allow her to do her part in the relationship, you know the part i mentioned earlier, where she listens and replies. the part where she is still supportive even when you are beign difficult or hard to love. dont be a dick, guys!!! sweet hearted people like that deserve to be treated gently, they deserve your love, they deserve to be treated like the blessings they are in their own way. if shes close to your heart and shes always on your mind and she is someone you always want to text, call, facetime, whatever... give that girl the time of damn day, give that girl what she deserves because you all know good and god damn well that if she is that wonderful to you, she would never do that to you. dont be a me, man, dont let your moment or time right now that youre trying to figure out push the one blessing and best thing that has ever come in to your life away. bc that soft spot you have for them in your heart is goign to hurt like fucking hell when they do walk away because they know their worth and they know that what they have to offer someone else is out there looking for and wanting. im serious guys, it sucks, being on the sideleines watching someone else in the place that you used to be in because you abandoned that love, fucking sucks and it hurts like a mother fucker. TREAT YOUR LOVE RIGHT, TREAT YOUR GIRL RIGHT, BE THE PERSON SHE SEES IN YOU FOR HER EVEN WHEN YOURE TRYIGN TO FIND THAT PERSON THAT SHE ALREADY SEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lilbongwater]

reading my lesbian experience with loneliness made me realize how much i rly hate feeling like i have to  impress ppl or be a certainn way for ppl which is why i hate bieng on social media lately too i guess..

I feel like ppls image of me is extremely different to what im actualy like and i wanna keep up that image ppl have of me u kno but.. Its so tiring u kno?? Like sry  im not rly someome that can always b happy sunny bouncy bubbly dream girl u kno..

I feel lke i have to keep taht image up for everyone.. My parents, teachers, freidsn, even my bf (aahh mikey if u end up readin this… >m< !!!!!!!!!!!!) but like fuck guys im SAD and scared and hurt and confused all the time..

Im sad and im tired and u know what i honestly just wanna go into interior BC and live in soltude and eventually get eaten by bears.. Like iuhghf… my internet self n real sefl r so.. Differnt n idek why… like i DO like hello kitty n pink n sparkly things n shit but rly  honestly deep down more than anything i love being outside and camping and swimming and bugs and and andnandanda lOTS lots lots of thing s that contradict what i am now.. Like im syaing all this and i have!! Glittery pink acrylic nails!! Like!! Hhdhgfd!!

God my minds goign  all over the place sry

Idk man im just .. im a multi faceted person… im trying to b comfortable with that.. I feel lik theres pressure to b one kind of person all the time or else ur a fake but thats not!!! True!!!! Thats not truw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Honestly i kinda blame instagram n shit for tht kinda thinking tho… ppls instagram is so curated t b this… perfect life.. Idk how to put it into words uggghh…  also i wish i could criticize social media and its negative effects without feelinn like a Millienial Traitor but like…. Can we admt tht social media is like??? Knida shitty? Like its a great tool for rasing awareness but DAMN does it fuck with ur confiddence n self image n image of others… n thinking abt how rly young impressionable kids r growing up on this is almost   scary/?? The internet was an almost entirely different place 5 yrs ago  u kno??? Idk..

An d on the topic of change… i rly cannot keep up with everything . theres so mcuh pressure to do things FAST  n i just.. I cant do that. Evryones rushing to get things done as fast as possible, get new products as fast as possible… and i feel ike i get left behind. Ive always been kinda a late bloomer i thik but.. Aahhhhhhh

  Anyways i kinda wish i could write poetry but usually ppl mock ppl tht are trying to express themselves in honest yet artistic ways.. I jus wanna b genuine without beng mocked. I think thats what i mean after all this rambling

  Yeah i just wanna be more genuine

   I think i might remake again