#like ideally i just want to third wheel on their relationship like. dating but not really. dating in a platonic way.

[lost-and-ephemeral]

hii can i request angst for love and deepspace, reader and mc are different ppl. our boys made plans with reader but forgot and left them hanging to hangout with the mc instead 😞

Series: In Her Shadow, pt.1 (ft. main trio)

Part 1 | Part 2

It feels like you've never been enough for him.

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader (seperate)

Tags: angst, hurt no comfort, reader is not MC, reader and guys are dating

A/N: Thanks for your request, sweetheart! Hope it doesn't look too OOC.

Part 1 | Part 2

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

Xavier

Your relationship with Xavier could be called ideal, if not for one nuance.

His colleague, who takes up much of his attention.

There were times when he'd come home and talk about her with such excitement that you'd start to feel like a third wheel. But usually afterwards Xavier would apologize and say that no matter how strong his colleague was, you would still be the best for him.

And you'd like to believe that. Until he forgot about dinner with you because of her.

You've planned a perfect evening and cooked everything he loved so much, knowing how tired he might come back after a mission. Only for him to never show up this evening.

You've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Feeling how your heart was breaking even more with each passing minute. Maybe something bad had happened? Maybe he was hurt?

You texted him, only to get back, "Don't worry, I'm fine, my colleague just invited me to the cafe after our mission."

No apologies, no regrets. It seems that he just forgot about you and your plans together.

For a while you were silently sitting in your living room, staring at the phone screen. It was hard to describe all these feelings that were bubbling up inside you. Jealousy, anger. You didn't even bother to remind him about your dinner together and just put all the dishes away in the fridge.

Since when did she become more important than you?

Zayne

You always knew about Zayne's childhood friend. But you couldn't even imagine that she would make you feel so unwanted.

You had plans for today while your lover had the day off. As a cardiac surgeon, Zayne was busy most of the time and would come home late, completely exhausted. Of course, you wanted to spend every free day with him.

Except for one thing.

His childhood friend constantly overshadowed you. Well, you could understand why that was happening. After all, their friendship (or was it more than that already?) had been going on for years, and you couldn't stop Zayne from seeing her.

But…

Sitting alone in the restaurant, at the table you'd booked together, you barely held back tears as you stared at the message marked 'unread'.

When Zayne didn't appear in time, you were surprised. He was always so punctual, what was wrong this time?

But when you asked him where he was, he replied, "Sorry, she asked me to visit an old candy store with her, I'll be back in a few hours," and you realized he'd completely forgotten about you.

And your last message went unread.

"Zayne, but we made a reservation for today."

You sat alone for so long that people started to squint in your direction. The only option was to get up and leave the restaurant before your heart was completely shattered.

And so you did.

Rafayel

Usually Rafayel's studio was always open for you, so you could come to see him anytime.

But as it turned out, you weren't the only one he welcomed with open arms, day or night.

Today was your day off and you were planning to visit Rafayel so you could help him with something in his studio. He asked you to come in the first place. Usually that meant he just wanted to see you and was looking for any excuse, even the silliest one.

But instead you were met with a locked gate.

At first you thought it was just another joke, that Rafayel would come out and let you in, yet some time passed, and you continued to stand there alone. You tried to call him, but it was unsuccessful. No matter how long you waited, no one answered.

Finally you decided to call Thomas to ask him if something important had happened. Maybe Rafayel once again forgot about his own exhibition and had left in a hurry.

But it turned out you were the only one who had been forgotten.

"He said he was going to buy new paints with his bodyguard," Thomas explained. "Or something like that. Better not wait for him until evening, he's unlikely to be back before that time."

Devastated, you stood there for a while longer, thinking about his 'Ms. Bodyguard' who was spending more and more time with your beloved. It wasn't the first she took him away from you.

But this was the last straw.

You turned around, heading back home and desperately holding back tears.

It wasn't fair.

[horsechestnut]

I think my ideal Steph, Cass, and Tim dynamic would be that they're all best friends, but they can not all hang out together. Like, if you ask any one of them who their best friend is they genuinely will not be able to pick between the other two, but all three of them together triggers each of their insecurities in the worst way and always leads to a fight.

Like, Steph and Cass are so affectionate with each other, and constantly flirting and Tim assumes their teasing, but what if they're not, and oh god is he third wheeling on a date between his ex-girlfriend and his sister? They don't actually want him here, they invited him to be nice and he was to oblivious to realize it wasn't genuine. He should leave. But before he can come up with a believable excuse they've changed topics and... hang on, did Steph just say her dad threw a book at her once? Because so much of Steph and Cass's relationship is built on an understanding that they won't make a big deal when they mention something messed up about their past that they just say stuff like that, but Tim does not have that same understanding. So Tim hears that and instead of rolling with it, it's "Steph you can't just say that like it's not a big deal... why is Cass laughing? You can't laugh at that it's fucked up! I don't care that it was a long time ago!" And now Cass is confused and Steph is angry and Tim feels like shit for probably ruining what they wanted to be a date and frustrated that he's being treated like he's overreacting despite being the only one with a normal reaction to child abuse. Mostly he's terrified that he screwed this whole thing up somehow and neither of them is going to want to hang out with him again.

Meanwhile Steph and Tim are so intrinsically linked to each other. They've shared things they will never share with anyone else, they were each others first love. And Cass understands that, she does, but it's hard sometimes seeing how easy they are with each other. The way Steph knows Tim's upset without having to read his body langue the way Cass does or Tim can predict exactly how late Steph will be to any given situation. More than that though, what truly makes her want to hide away from them, is the history they both had but didn't share. The sly comments about Tim looking like a character Cass has never heard of or jokes that make no sense but send Steph into laughing fits. The kind that when she asks are brushed off with "it was an old meme" or "just a show from when we were kids". The reminders that she isn't normal, she can never really be like them. If she doesn't ask most of the time it doesn't occur to them to explain, it seems so obvious to them. They start doing a synchronized dance from some movie that came out when they were in middle school and Cass slips away into the shadows. Later she gets a string of concerned text that slowly turn angry when she doesn't answer. Cass never tells them what was wrong.

And it's hard for Steph to look at Cass and Tim and not feel jealous, because more than just being friends, they're siblings. They are full members of the club, Bruce's children, let into the fold in a way she never can be. She doesn't even want to be anymore if she's being honest, but it still stings. They'll casually mention family dinner or reference inside jokes from the last Wayne charity whatever and Steph will feel the growing desire in her chest that she can not, under any circumstances, let anyone see. The desire that has caused her so much pain, she will not give it control over her again. And Cass calls Tim Robin sometimes, and he calls Cass Batgirl in return, and Steph has to bite back the urge to scream at them that she was Robin too! She is also a Batgirl! But it doesn't matter because she wasn't Cass's Robin or Tim's Batgirl, and it drives her insane that they're romanticizing that time, because don't they remember how much of an asshole Bruce was back then? And now Tim is mad at her for bring up the past as if they're not the ones who started it, and Cass is assuring her that Bruce has changed, and maybe he has, but it's to fucking late! He already ruined any chance of Steph every feeling fully comfortable with her place in their lives. So she storms off, fuming, leaving a baffled Tim and Cass to go enjoy their stupid family dinner.

So yeah, they are best friends. They all love each other more than they know how to say, and trust each other more than anyone else in the world. But they can never all hang out together. That only ever ends in disaster.

[yingfelis]

Hi, can I request general dating headcanons with Rappa? I know you've only written for Hi3 but HSR is one of your listed fandoms, so.

Rappa x Reader

General dating hcs based solely on my very limited knowledge and vibes (I’m not caught up at all)

With Rappa there’s definitely no just thing as a dull moment.

She’s fun to be around, even if she can have a little too much energy sometimes, you find that endearing.

She also probably confessed first, in a very flashy and “ninja” way. (Which you said yes to on the spot)

I can imagine a date night doing some graffiti art together. Maybe doing the iconic “Rappa x Y/N” into a random wall or something for some laughs and giggles

Surprisingly Rappa didn’t rush the relationship as some would expect. She let you go at your own pace and slowed hers down when necessary.

Whatever you valued, she valued and whatever she valued, you valued. You guys were a team, both in and out of combat.

Speaking of combat though, as a Galaxy Ranger, Rappa wanders around a lot to fight off the Evil Ninjas to restore justice in the world. (her words not yours)

Ideally she would want you to come with her, especially if you’re also a fighter. If you’re not though then she would still want you to come with her if you can but she also understands it can be dangerous. Either way she respects any decision you make.

If you come with her, she’ll have a traveling partner to keep her company and watch her back. You two together make an unstoppable duo due to the amount of trust you have in each other.

If you decide to not come with her, she’ll have a home to return to at least. She’ll have someone to greet her as soon as she steps inside and being in your presence is enough to make her forget about any hardships she’s facing.

Random thought to end off: Rappa putting her hat on you out of the blue for like no reason other than bc she thought it would look cute on you. It was. You steal it from time to time now just to mess with her (but she likes it when you do, so is it technically messing with her?)

Also you two messing around with Boothill and making him third wheel

[haespoir]

cave me in: mkl.

⨯ pairing: plug!mark x reader

⨯ word count: 1.3k 

⨯ summary: haechan introduces you to his dealer friend, and mark lee makes it so hard to keep the relationship strictly business. not that you minded anyways. 

⨯ warnings: mentions of drugs (weed), some suggestive content, i think thats it enjoy :3

⨯ playlist: cave me in, gallant / half moon, dean / wfm, realestk 

⨯ extra content: part two

⨯ a/n: im completely normal about mark lee i swear ty @markonthemoon​ for furthering my completely normal feelings about mark lee... there might be a part two. 

. . . 

It had been at least 3 hours since you had picked up edibles from Mark. Three whole ass hours, and yet he was still laying on his bed feeling less than whole. Who did you buy them for? Were you getting high with someone else? Was it a guy? 

The first time Haechan had introduced you to him he didn’t pay it any mind. You were a close friend of the younger male’s situation-ship… Whatever the fuck that was. But it was no more than that in his eyes. You were someone who occasionally bought from him, and you were always so polite about it too. And for some unknown reason, or at least unknown to him, that bothered him. A few weeks later, a not-so-sober conversation with Haechan revealed that Mark had a crush on you. One he denied vehemently. Though he guessed out of everyone he sold to, you were the most ideal to date. 

Who the fuck said anything about dating? 

Mark shakes his head as if to rid himself of such wild thoughts. “I’m just hungry,” he says to himself, thinking of ways he could fill that empty void in his stomach. If only he knew, there was no amount of food that would help him feel whole. He grabs his phone, shooting a quick text to someone who knew would also be high at this time. 

mark [11:48 pm]: ramen?  jungwoo [11:50 pm]: and netflix?  jungwoo [11:50 pm]: mark… are you asking me to hook up?  jungwoo [11:51 pm]: say less baby i’m otw!  mark [11:53 pm]: dude what mark [11:53 pm]: no, just ramen  jungwoo [11:55 pm]: mark lee you want me so bad  mark [11:57 pm]: hurry before i change my mind

Jungwoo’s texts cause Mark to roll his eyes, but he grabs his keys. “Yo, Haechan,” he calls out, peeking into the male’s LED-lit room. On his monitor, he sees a discord call and what he believes is your profile picture. Why were you on call with him? “I’m going get ramen with Zeus, want anything?” 

“Nah, I’m going over to my girl’s in a bit,” Haechan replies, smoothly muting the call as he gives his roommate his attention. “I’ll just see you in the morning?” Mark hums, and he’s out the door quickly. He doesn’t want to even think about the relationship between you and Haechan, not when there’s a green little monster creeping through his veins. 

Once Haechan is sure Mark is gone, he’s unmuting the call. “Personally, I think he’s into you.” 

Though he can’t see it, you’re rolling your eyes. “Haechan, you’re just saying that. You’re tired of me third wheeling?” 

“Listen... Your words, not mine, sweetheart,” he says simply. 

“Whatever dude,” you sigh, rolling onto your side on your bed. “Have fun with your shawty. I’m going to sleep.” 

“Just ask him to smoke you out or something,” Haechan says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. “I’m leaving.” 

You hear the noise of him leaving the call before you can even reply, and you’re once again rolling your eyes. You didn’t understand how your friend was into Haechan. What a fucking brat. 

I mean, you can’t just ask someone to smoke you out, right? Isn’t that something that’s offered? You groan loudly at the thought, locking your phone and tossing it on the floor. “Fuck you, Haechan,” you think bitterly. Why the hell did he have to put that godforsaken idea in your mind? 

Because the idea doesn’t leave your mind for weeks after that night. Every time you buy from Mark, you find it harder and harder to deny your attraction to the male. His actions don’t help much either. In fact, you’re convinced you’re delusional. There was no other reason. 

You had mentioned you liked rice krispie treats, and suddenly Mark has rice krispie treat edibles. With extra marshmallows no less.  

One time you heard your friends complaining that Mark had increased his prices. Which was odd because you were spending less on weed than you ever had before. Maybe they were just buying more? 

Or sometimes there’s a small baggie of only the clear gummy bears with the things you buy from him. It’s not like you had told him that the only valid flavor of gummy bears was the clear ones. 

These things weren’t just coincidences, right? Or were they? Haechan also liked marshmallow treats, so maybe they were for him. You had taken a liking to edibles, so you weren’t smoking as much as you used to. Meaning you were spending less money anyways. And Mark said that he liked the red gummy bears the most, so surely, you were just getting the ones he didn’t like. 

You let out a loud groan, ignoring the call from Haechan on Discord. Instead, you opt to shove your face into your pillow before letting out a small scream. Mark Lee was driving you absolutely crazy. 

Perhaps if you picked that call up, the text messages that flashed on your screen 30 minutes later would not have sent you into the panic that they did. 

mark [12:20 am]: yo mark [12:20 am]: i got a new strain  mark [12:20 am]: let me smoke you out? 

Maybe Haechan wasn’t a brat, and maybe you would thank him for this at your wedding years later. But none of that matters when Mark Lee is asking to smoke you out. 

you [12:29 am]: uh yea you [12:29 am]: my place?  mark [12:32 am]: say less mark [12:32 am]: i’ll bring your favorite gummies

He does bring them, and he does smoke you out. Which is why you find yourself in the position that you do. You’re sitting on the floor in your living room, your cheek pressed against Mark’s knee as he sits on your couch. You swear he looks perfect from this angle; his hair is pushed back by a headband he had stolen from you a few days ago, claiming he thought it was like a personal head massage device. You can see the way his eyes are slightly red, and you’re sure yours look exactly like his. Most importantly, his neck is on display, and you want to do nothing more than mark it up. It takes everything in you to not climb into his lap and do exactly that. 

“You look like a puppy,” Mark says, running his fingers through your hair, stopping when he reaches your ear. He’s rubbing small circles on your earlobe with this thumb, his eyes drinking in the sight of you. “My puppy.” 

God, Mark Lee was dangerous. Absolutely lethal. You groan at his words, pressing your face into his thigh to hide away from him. Unfortunately for you, this has the opposite effect, and there is no such thing as hiding from him. The sight of you nearly burying your face into his lap like this does wonders for Mark’s confidence. 

“Come here.” It’s a demand from him, and it’s one that you quickly listen to as he guides you to straddle his lap. In this new position, Mark’s hands quickly go to your thighs; the grip he has is almost bruising. But you don’t mind it, not when Mark’s got his head resting on the back of your couch and he’s staring at you in a way that makes you nervous. 

“Sorry for making you wait,” he says, and you’re feeling a bit confused. “Haechan might have given me a hint or two.” 

The confusion is gone quickly; you were going to strangle that kid. 

Mark laughs at the look on your face, easily reading the emotions as if you were an open book to him. “Don’t think about it, we’ve got a lot of time to make up for.” 

And when Mark Lee presses a kiss against your jaw, his hands traveling under your shirt, you know you’re done for. 

[okwonyo]

엔하이픈 ; everybody watching us . . .

staring﹒ hyungline + femreader genre﹒ fluff, idol au && est. r.s warnings ﹒ no proofread. && english isn't my first language wc ✢ 360. alternative title ❔ how he lowkey confirmed your relationship. © ( okwonyo )

JIAH'S NOTE. none

희승 - (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

interactions ; it might seem simple and boring. however, just close you eyes and imagine heeseung that gives you a high-five, on camera, after you got a win for your song. then the interactions will become more comfortable and ─ dare i say ─ intimate. as in, hugging on stage when he sees you, fixing your hair, whispering jokes in you ear, ect....

pictures ; when you go on a date with him, he takes a ton of pics of you and you do the same for him. therefore, when you posts the pics he took of you, he does the same. making sure to choose the ones where you can see you were at this place together.

종성 - (⌯︎˃̶᷄ᗝ˂̶̥᷅⌯︎)

matching clothes & jewelry ; i may have said it before, but, i say it again. matching clothes and jewelry is such a jay thing to do, and he would proudly wear shirt the matches with your dress in public after you did. also, would definitely wear a necklace with the first letter of your name everywhere he goes + the promise ring he bought with you.

gifts ; hear me out, jay shows a guitar he bought on a live or on weverse which he wrote "i love you" on. everyone goes crazy about this, is it for someone special ? is it from someone special ? then a week later, you show the exact same guitar in a live, claiming someone has given it to you...

재윤 - ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)chu

reactions ; it's not like he is doing it on purpose but, he would be so expressive when you are around. he was trying to hide it before but now, he doesn't care anymore. he is, oh so shy, even though you are not even in the crush era anymore. if you are promoting your albums at the same time, every time you say a not so funny joke; we can see jake clacking in the background or when you are both at a award show, when you walk by enhypen and bow at them he giggles like an idiot.

your dog ; jake loves to see layla and your dog playing together and often take pictures of the two of them doing so. he even posts these pictures sometimes and also those of you and layla together.

성훈 - (*¯︶¯*)

ideal type talk ; ever since you got together, everytime a variant of "what is your ideal type" would come up, he would describe you. from head to toes, everything that makes you, well, you. personality and features will be said, as if it's a prier or a cake receipt.

mc interactions ; after he begged belift, for months, to let him mc with you and finally had what he wanted, sunghoon has been non-stop flirting with you. in front of the cameras, of innocent groups ─ that have no clue what is going on ─ and poor third wheel wonyoung.

[polyamorousmood]

Hello!

I have a bit of a conundrum and i was wondering if you could shine some light on it?

I see a lot of discourse about how bad it is to date both people who are already a couple

Last year when I asked my current boyfriend out I was already dating my partner of three years. I had a big crush on them and my partner developed one too. We both asked out boyfriend out at the same time and he wanted to be eith the both of us

Was that unethical or wrong? Now im worried I might have screwed somthing up in the way we started out relationship. If it is wrong what are the 'ethical' ways for triads to form at all??

Thank you for this Im just confused and stressed right now. Please have a nice day and drink some water? <3

So -- and this is My Opinion, so others may disagree, etc, etc -- the criticisms of "bringing in a third" and "unicorn hunting🦄" raise some fair points. But that doesn't mean its not possible to have a healthy triad. And what you described wasn't "unicorn hunting 🦄", which is the one people seem to have the biggest beef with.

One of the big reasons people dislike unicorn hunters 🦄™️(and sometimes by extension all triads) is that the original couple usually has "veto" power and/or other priority, often while refusing to let the third person date around if they want to. They require this third person to conform to their ideal relationship (including dating them both even if they only click with one or discover an incompatibility with one later), while reserving the right to unilaterally terminate the relationship for both of the original couple if either one has an issue. Its just unfair.

I personally don't see any problem with naturally occurring triads with full understanding. It sounds like you've been friends for at least a little while🤗, you all came to develop romantic feelings naturally😍, and -- I don't know your dynamic now, but -- if everyone entered it with full understanding and consent and y'all can meet to renegotiate💬🗨️ for changes as new things arise, I don't see a problem.

TL;DR: Don't treat the newest person to the triad as a third wheel in their own romantic life and I think you're roughly okay. I think the best way to reassure/check YOU specifically are being ethical is to check in with the new person and make sure they are getting what they want out of the relationship and don't feel sidelined or in a precarious situation.

Don't psych yourself out. Just treat your partners well and respect autonomy. If y'all are chill, y'all are chill. 😊

[elliespuns]

do you think ellie ever used dina as an outlet for her frustrations about joel or abby? obviously there's the cutscene where dina tells ellie she's pregnant and ellie lashes out and calls her a burden and dina just sat there with no retort, which makes me think that maybe that's not the first time ellie had an unexpected burst of anger. of course the only reason ellie even got mad in the first place though was because she didn't want dina to hurt herself or now apparently this new baby. so i am conflicted.

to add onto the thought of ellie using dina as an outlet, do you think they were ever intimate during Seattle? their relationship is still fresh during the Seattle era which is typically the 'honeymoon' stage for most couples and they were just kind of thrusted into this tough situation after realizing their feelings for each other and i feel like that would be tough to balance out, which also makes me think maybe ellie neglected dina of things like sex or kissing.

regardless if ellie really did use dina as an outlet of any kind, she would definitely regret it in a short while simply because that's not who ellie is. after the cutscene you can find dina curled up on the couch under a blanket and im pretty sure ellie sighs at the sight. even at the winter dance when she had her outburst with joel she immediately regretted it and you can see it on her face. because she is not the kind of person who wants or has any desire to be mean to the people she loves.

sorry this is so long i love yapping 😭 i'd really love to hear your thoughts!

I remember watching the scene where Ellie called Dina a burden, and I was like, 'Girl, that was harsh!' and then, when I could see the regret in her face and her body language, I could see that she didn't want to be so hard on her, but the emotions took over.

I think the main reason for her first reaction being this bad was the fact that Ellie was aware all along that she was putting Dina at risk by dragging her along on this mission. I think she didn't want Dina to go, but Dina was insisting. Ellie was a bit selfish and low-key wanted her to go even though a huge part of her didn't, so she agreed after all. This alone was already hard on her, putting Dina's life at risk. So when she found out Dina was pregnant on top of that, it just piled up; it was just too much for her to handle, so she snapped.

Maybe a part of her was even a little bit jealous of Jesse. (Remember that scene where Jesse came along and started taking care of Dina? Ellie stood there, feeling stupid for not being able to offer the same to her). I always thought that Dina and Jesse staying close, even after Dina dumped him and started dating Ellie, must have felt a bit strange for Ellie. She used to be in the middle of the love triangle when they were dating, and now she's the one who's dating one of them while the other is the third wheel. Not ideal.

When they are at the winter dance and Jesse talks to Ellie about Dina, Ellie jokes about giving them two weeks before getting back together. Which means that Ellie did not believe for a second that the two of them would actually break up. I think this must have stayed with her when the two of them stayed close even after the breakup. She also must have felt bad towards Jesse at some point. Feeling bad for 'stealing' his girl. He might have said he was okay with it, that he 'didn't care' but I think Ellie still felt bad regardless. I think all of this led to her snapping at Dina about the pregnancy.

I don't think Ellie would willingly use Dina as an outlet, though. As you said, Ellie is not that kind of person. She loves Dina; that's also why she would fight her feelings about wanting and not wanting Dina with her. She cared so much about her to have that 'burden' with her.

To your question about whether they've been intimate during the Seattle time, I'm not sure. But I think they weren't. Unless by 'intimate' you mean snuggling while sleeping. Let's think about it.

Joel died in the winter. We don't know which month, but I am guessing January (maybe even December) because of the amount of snow and the Christmas lights hung in Ellie's room. Ellie and Dina traveled to Seattle in the spring (it was more likely spring based on the sunny/rainy weather). So it must have been a few months—like 2 or 3 or 4 at least after Joel. Plus, Ellie's hair is longer when we see her in Seattle.

Knowing this, I dare to say they might have been intimate during this period of time (before Seattle, I mean). I don't believe that Ellie would get over Joel that quickly to have sex (she didn't get over him until she let Abby go at the end of the game after all), but she must have felt sad, emotional, and lonely at some point in the span of this time and Dina was there for her. People tend to cling to other people during such times, searching for comfort in being intimate. We're not talking about 'fucking' here, of course. What I mean is something more than a cuddle, but less than fucking. Something comforting in between.

Although, in the Seattle era (on her way to find Abby), I find it hard to believe they were intimate. I think they would snuggle in the theater when they slept together, being there for each other. But I don't really think Ellie had sex in mind at the time. Especially after what she did to Nora. She was pretty shaken after that. I think Ellie's sex drive must have been at zero.

[abyss-seer]

PICK A CARD READING Hey there this is the continuation of this pick a card reading, linked below.

Pile 6

1. Confirmations

LGBTQ-IA+ Communities, Lewis, Louis Vuitton, Tangible, Lewd, Hentai, Letters : L,W,T,R , Rose, 44, number 4, April, 2, 8, August, Aries, any baby zodiac sign, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer specifically, Leo specifically

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

Right off the bat I got the song Die with a Smile and the Wheel Of Fortune. The Wheel Of Fortune, represents changes, it tells me that you guys could be versatile in relationships. You understand the need to change and grow in a relationship. Both of you could have been brought up in rigid ideal systems which you guys let go of. The depth of your relationships has allowed you to let go of the societal stereotypes, opinions and conformist ideologies to see things with more clarity. It seems like the depth in your relationships is your innate and deep understanding to the rise and fall of a relationship. This relationship could have taught you how to be truly friends with ex partners.

Someone here could have mercury in 7th house or venus in 3rd or 4th or 11th house. Some of you could have had to attend your ex's wedding. Ouch!

So this was the original interpretation for the first spread but then due to many interruptions, I was led away from your reading, and one of the things I observed was that, all of my hard work and effort I made to write this pile was wasted. It feels like relationship sometimes ends up going one way deep for some of y'all. just letting you know there could be a lot of tension due to confusion. Lot of gaslighting, does he love me or love me not.

It reminds me a lot of Taemin's she loves me, she loves me not.

Iam also getting that maybe I had been way too judgey of this relationship's depth in my past spread. Iam sorry if I did anything of that sort, but honestly, most of the things I was picking up about this relationship was the nature of understanding between both the partners who communicate well with each other, and might understand when its time to let go and when its time to stay. Maybe spirit has been calling out how much effort you two made to make it all work but still if it doesn't work out, its not both of your fault, you tried your level best and then you coudn't try anymore, so the two of you left. I think the energy is about you both don't have make efforts to find reciprocative love, love will naturally make someone love and care for you. "You don't have to be the one sided one to hold back on your options, if you don't want the other person" It maybe because it is easy for me to let go of all my options to be exclusive to one person I think reciprocates my feelings as well, I find it hard to believe or understand how can the other person not know or understand that I am going completely exclusive just because they said they are feeling the same way as well. I feel like you are far more mature and understand and take the NFL player seriously. (lol what am i writing) so its kinda like a relationship where both of you were dating around while dating each other. And finally found the most love and understanding with each other, ok adults, idk why this pile seems to underestimate me or us spiritual folk's understanding. Idk why now I feel judged. Like do you think that we have never done that, so we might judge you folks? Ugh I am so sorry that you felt that way.

this is just an example to explain situation. But you guys could have been turned into third party in your relationships, I am sorry to explain it this way, but in the heat of the moment, this is storyline I picked up on. Sorry it was really confusing and frustrating for me to channel this as well. I don't mean to project or anything but please don't take this storyline literally. Ok right off the bat there's too much deception in this pile, like what is going on, like this relationship first started off as unconventional due to the nature of commitments, so you two tried to let go of commitments but still couldn't let go of the idea of exclusivity, so you two invested in a open marriage relationship and due to nature of this relationship, things turned into your favor and then you guys got in a threesome kinda relationship or became a third party. But then you feel like you made a wrong decision in a hurry, as it seems like instead of hurrying too much into this relationship, you should have given some time to reason with yourself as to why you feel this way about traditions and commitments. Is it because you were forced into following it, so you feel averted by it? Did you ever meet someone who did unconventional relationship like yours and tried asking their opinions? Did you try seeking opinions of the completely opposite parties who are committed for years and years? Did you seek opinions of people who were once in unconventional relationships and then later changed to conventional or did you try asking opinions of people who did vice versa. Did you try comparing your mental morality to their mental morality? Did it resonate?

Its also giving me someone who didn't accept a proposal and let their lover go? and realized they made hurried decision, but are now trapped in a emotional cycle or loop.

Cause now I was even seeing visions of someone completely berating or destroying other people's culture, sense of worth and life's meaning (i was getting visions of throwing insect, lizards, bugs, and stomping on people's prayer services, food and drinks) (oh my god, this is so violent and almost sick, deprived behaviour just done due to ego clashes, omg it's bad what is this? pile 6, maybe some of you are thinking like this, some are straight up behaving this way, have some control over your thoughts, just because your traumatizer had once had these puppet like strings on your head in the name of tradition doesn't mean they can control your head again, or you again. Again take your power back, reclaim your religion, sect, traditions on your own terms and understanding, you don't have to do it all at once, calm down) , just because they didn't find their own despite running away and completely discarding the very thing that they might have been traumatized to follow, and its okay to discard the things you were traumatized into following, it doesn't mean, the very thing you saw as evil has won, its just a shift into new perspective and treat it as such. Let no one banish or shame you or treat you like sh!t, just because you are learning traditions. This is so sad, Rituals and traditions are something that needs to reclaimed by a soul in their own terms and understanding. Blindly doing it all means nothing.

Cause someone here feels trapped due to relationship issues but is still taking accountability for it all, and working hard to making it all work despite the consequences. Oh my God I feel horrible, I thought this relationship was filled with so much understanding for each other, but now I am finding that's how it was on the surface, now after understanding the compromising, and flaws in this relationship, it feels like its flawed and failure (well every relationship has failed many times, but both parties make it work again, and every relationship is flawed, I guess some of you had zero expectation, and this was somebody you were in past relationship with who might have abused or harrassed you this way, I am so sorry you went through something like that, please know that you didn't deserve such treatment. Maybe this person had some issues they had to sort out on their own.

My God! Iam really getting a bitter sting or bittersweet narrative from this pile, like restless body, fear and anger trapped in body, like this gives me a feverish pile. Not a fever dream, feverish, sick, needs to go to doctor or sleep ASAP. Its like a powerfully potent soul with lots fire is sitting in a pungent, stale smelling, woodpecker body, that does nothing but repeats the same pecking motion continously without a break, tirelessly working or repeating tasks day and night not giving rest to themselves or their own body. omg pile 6, this is harsh. I was also seeing a shadow of a guy who could have been shot in his right chest and poison entering his body through his head. Maybe somebody's lover died/was casted out of a community or a group. Idk why I am getting a huge loss of a lover for some reason.

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

"Bongo", Idk playing drums like bongo. I am channeling, "How can you insist on looking for depths in a new relationship or insist on looking for a good relationship?" Whatever it maybe I am seeing you insisting on keeping a new relationship and find depth in the new one? By being honest and genuine about your success. idk why I channeled Beyonce/Queen B, i channeled the word "hot". Ok slow down, like someone here in particular could find her hot (i mean everybody does, you on game?). Idk why am I channeling Kendrick Lamar, someone here could be from Black American community specifically, like I m channeling Kdot's "Be humble, sit down", i channeled "gave a grave ceremony" commenting on Kdot. "you Malibu's most wanted, fresh gatorade or something, since 2006 I had this b*ch jumping" "you run to atlanta"

Ok this a lot, like idk why my crown was hurting, but boy oh boy it hurts a lot.

"Narcissist" Pile 6, I get the hate, I get the anger, but can you all just take the break for a while, like if the relationship's over. "take the TV off" ok listen Kdot's lyrics were 2009 not 2006, but then iam hearing take the tv off, hearing problems, and excess light emission from phone. Idk what boring habits are you repeating again and but can you stop for a while "Mustaaaaaaaard". Ok I just realized the more I tell you stop, the more noisy my channeling becomes, the more Iam made to hear K.dot. Ok listen Pile 6, just because someone is telling you to stop doesn't mean you should but then why are you doing the exact opposite. Maybe this might have been a survival mechanism, but can you please stop doing the exact opposite of what's been expected of you or told to you to do. Not everybody's here to harm or suppress and torture you into doing something you don't want to do, maybe some of you haven't even realized this yet, maybe you are being urged to find the wisdom in other people's advices by processing it with your own brain. Stop receding their advices. See if you only depend on other people's processing, and their perspective to see through a situation without processing sh!t in your own brain cells, not only will the golden wisdom recede from your brain cells but also people will easily fool you into thinking that the perspective they expressed to you was the only reason they advised you something like that. You need to understand and think with your brain cells.

This is what your abusers want you to do, they dont want you to think, they don't want you to realize, they have never ever wanted you to understand or realize their underhanded tactics. That is why they kept you away from talking, badmouthing them or exposing them, that's the reason why they are keeping you engaged through tv, calls, phone calls, social media or rage baits. They don't want to see you succeed. Afterall your breakdown is equal to success for them. Just calm down and ask yourself. "What is it that they really don't want me to see?" "Why are they provoking me?" "Just what will they get by getting a reaction outta me or provoking me or my instincts" "Just what do they really want?" Iam getting 34+35 by Ariana Grande "Why do they not want you to win?" "Why do they want me to stay up all night?" Someone could have been trying to disrupt your sleep cycle just to keep you bedridden all day long. omg, I'm so sorry, this literally gives me Gisèle Pelicot's case in France. Im so sorry if any of you went through it. I'm sorry, please take care of yourself.

Don't you see or understand what this all means? Your enemies don't stand a chance against you. They have just tried their best to keep you in a bunker bed cause in literal reality, they can't even defeat you. So instead of boiling in anger for revenge, cool down, slow it and think what and why. Why do they want to keep you in your angry state? You may have always wanted clarity, you may have always asked this abuser why they did so? This exactly why. Cause weak people can't let you use your own brain or you will grow tougher than them.

First of all in your new relationship you might be asked to bring your fresh sense of humor, I just got a vision of someone making fun of the herbs I burn in tarot reading, as a paan masala advertisement. Let me tell your sense of humor is fresh and anew, there are some situations in which these jokes can be seen as controversial or political. But eff it you don't need to explain yourself to anyone except the people who get you, (only if they quite get your jokes sometimes). You don't need people villainizing anymore for your free speech, you need some space, you deserve a well developed communicative group of friends and lovers. So geez, say No thank you to who or whatever doesn't understands you and move on. (idk why i channeled "J Cole founded/funded it", "CPR" but you will know it, so adios)

Anyways do not be afraid to take your wins and call your shots. We win some, we lose some. We are in this world to experience life so might as well live through these moments of victories and loss.

Someone's definitely laughing their a$$ off from "Since 2009 I had this b*ch jumping"

Stop idealizing abundance, money, luxuries or other amenities to happiness, so much that you stop paying attention to those things that actually made you passion about the very thing that you once wanted to do. Stop comparing your money or abundance to your drive, motivation and passion to build your worth, "pay attention to net worth or dollars". Stop calling people slaves for doing what they love to do, it just feels like dominoes, if a small one or the first one slips, everybody starts falling. Instead be grateful to people for helping you or doing what they did for you as they did it out of love and respect for you, you might deny their love but it was done for achieving a purpose.

That drive that they felt in their body to help you with something was the God given strength of their soul that helped them work hard and achieve whatever vision they had in life. It was not always about or for money, sometimes its love for a dream or a passion but something innate in their mind that drives them through these tough times. Whatever strength you receive be grateful for that as God has given it to you for a short period of time to help you achieve your goals. So don't waste it on distractions. But focus on your goals and try not to surround yourself or be in relationship with vanity minded people or people who take things at a face value, as not only do I see them demotivating you but also not helping you as you struggle to burn these chains of tradition that were ladden onto you.

"Once upon a time, all of us was in chains Homie still doubled down callin' us some slaves Atlanta was the Mecca, buildin' railroads and trains Bear with me for a second, let me put y'all on game

The settlers was usin' town folk to make 'em richer Fast-forward, 2024, you got the same agenda You run to Atlanta when you need a check balance Let me break it down for you, this the real nigga challenge

You called Future when you didn't see the club (ay, what?) Lil Baby helped you get your lingo up (what?) 21 gave you false street cred Thug made you feel like you a slime in your head (ay, what?) Quavo said you can be from Northside (what?) 2 Chainz say you good, but he lied

You run to Atlanta when you need a few dollars No, you not a colleague, you a fuckin' colonizer The family matter, and the truth of the matter It was God's plan to show y'all the liar

Mm, mm-mm He a fan, he a fan, he a fan (mm), he a fan, he a fan"

I was led to post these lyrics as well

4. What is it you aren't seeing or doing about your relationships?

"You think the Bay gon' let you disrespect Pac, nigga? I think that Oakland show gon' be your last stop, nigga Did Cole fouI, I don't know why you still pretendin' What is the owl? Bird niggas and bird bitches, go

The audience not dumb, shape the stories how you want Hey, Drake, they're not slow Rabbit hole is still deep, I can go further, I promise Ain't that somethin'? B-Rad stands for bitch and you Malibu most wanted

Ain't no law, boy, you ballboy, fetch Gatorade or somethin' Since 2009, I had this bitch jumpin' "

Here you go your favorite lines, don't ask me why am I even posting these lyrics here, but it seems like these lyrics just wanted to prove something right, or someone was warned beforehand about this??? idk anything about this but this is what I am channeling. Goodbye

Well the answer seems pretty obvious for some reason, you could be in a financially dire situation as of now and the stability isn't solid, some of you are still living in the shadows of your past, still traumatized from a relationship. Could have developed some auto-immune from that time, your nervous system and body is still trying to calm down. Thus when it comes to your emotional health in terms of relationships, you feel satisfied on your own regardless. Though when it comes to other people's emotions you are pretty much not feeling innit as of now, you could be feeling drained. So drained that you could be doing pretend as of now. You may show something else on the outside, but are feeling quite vulnerable at this moment so may have taken retreat from the dating scene or relationships of any kind that could have felt draining to you. All in all I see you taking charge of yourself and the trauma you got from your bad past, hence healing, which is why you aren't seen doing much in the relationship sector.

"Not researching something properly and getting attacked by a oxford medallion" Okay first things first I see you being led by ignorance, you may not want to use or understand the word of Bible or God. Whenever work calls you, you rather than working, try to deny it all together by having fun, or distracting thoughts. Stop listening to so much gutter, stop feeding your mind things which are unnecessary things and defending yourself from your mind's endless rantings and imaginary court cases, you don't have to defend yourself from anything imaginary. Your abuser has long gone. Just imagine it and calm your mind whenever this hypothetical defend yourself imaginary scenario comes. Stop letting these thoughts run wild at your work, instead take a counterintuitive approach, and distract these thoughts by giving yourself a scenario that all these bad people from your life are gone. Not everything needs to be approached intuitively especially with a traumatized nervous system, keep a balanced approach, keep your cool and use your logic as well.

oh my god, pile 6, if you have come till here and still haven't left this typical traditional/conservative abusive family that expects you to stay in kitchen 24x7 till now and are still busy fighting them I suggest you to leave.

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

Ok I shuffled the cards and look what I see, your longing for not wanting to see the truth. This pile is similar to pile 5. But pile 5 had problems accepting themselves, this pile has a lot of problems accepting the flow of life or believing in God's plan for a larger than this life. This pile rejects the bare truth that's presented right before their until the consequences of this ignorance come crashing at their door and they start feeling hopeless, This gives me the fight between Puss in Boots and Death, though Puss wins in the end, he could only do so by accepting the nature of life and death and its cycles, and when he stopped playing Peek-a-boo with his grim reaper and mustered the courage to face death. (Idk Kendrick Lamar must be such an inspiration for this pile, idk why his soul comes through all the time). That's what you could be lacking in your energy, the acceptance of the truth, acceptance of the inevitability of nature, it might be surprising, insidious at times, but the truth is revealed to you for a reason, its not just here for you to accept it, its here to teach you something.

Its not time to hide and seek from the weak foundations that are crumbling down right now, it is not the time to succumb to the hopelessness of the truth, Its time to accept it and see the inevitable, (something which you had no control over) for what it is. Maybe you could have controlled it, maybe it was bound to be under your control, but you didn't see it coming back at you to take over you, maybe you didn't see how the very thing that was bound to be in your control not in your control anymore. Maybe because it was never meant to be controlled by you. Maybe because it was meant to leave you. Maybe because you had to let it all go, That's what you didn't see coming, the revelation of this truth that you had to let it all go. Maybe you don't or didn't want to accept the fact that you were the hurting the other person/the opportunity, but now that the truth is coming out to light, you had to accept the nature of your consequences, trust the universe, believe it after all what isn't meant for you and what you aren't meant is bound to leave you behind. You can't hold it back anymore, no matter how big this person, this relationship, this love is, maybe its the truth you need to accept, maybe you aren't meant for it. Its not about whether you did the work or have the potential to make it work, so you deserve it or not. It was never about deserving it at all, it was all about experiencing it, loving the person/relationship, accepting and experiencing them for who they are and then accepting that sometimes its just not meant to be yours. There's no point in shouting at the truth of your destiny or blocking it all out through anger, pain and frustration. Its about accepting the flow of this universe and not letting pain get the best of you, but moving on, that's what's the most important thing at this moment.

Some things in life are inevitable, sometimes no matter how hard we work in a relationship, we will have to accept that sometimes no matter how good the person is, the circumstances just aren't right. And sometimes the circumstances are right, the person isn't alright, whatever it is that is holding you back, just let it all go. Just know that when one door (I'm hearing someone having to close their shop) another door opens. Maybe someone here had to close their Walmart store to move near their childhood sweetheart, and it might be acting as a hindrance for them pursuing their love. Believe in possibilities of new beginnings no matter how rough or scratchy your new beginnings. "They can make it worth it" I feel like you are getting a green signal that marrying this person's worth it. But I am seeing the doubts if its worth the career you are leaving. I think the choice is yours, Do you believe that you can make it all worthwhile? Do you think you can start a new beginning? Do you believe in yourself enough to be able to this? Do you have faith in your partner to help you through this rough time? Do you believe in sharing your load with your people, cause this time maybe you don't have to be the one doing it all alone.

I think the lack of depth in your (new) relationships is due to you not asking for help when needed, and taking it all alone on your shoulders, Maybe there's no need of all this perfection, to show up as this perfect person all the time. "No time to embrace your flaws" I guess maybe that's why you aren't able to accept the flow of Universe and the divine timing, maybe there's too much pressure to embrace divine timing or too much pressure to just letting things flow. Maybe you are facing to much pressure to produce the perfect results as of now. I would like you to take a good glimpse of your time and energy to see where your attention is going. Cause even though you are practicing your perfection, its slow and it takes time, it isn't instant growth, so I think accepting help for solving your problems is fine, its also fine to let them nurture you and perceive your growth. Its ok to not be perfect, Idk why but I feel like you just hate this idea to the extent that you might end up hurting people for admitting you aren't perfect or flawless (what is with this pile's idea of hurting anyone if their perfect ideology is flawed and projecting false narratives on people just to feel that way about themselves, yucks I seriously want to know why do you even imagine or think about doing that to others, and also since I banish all sorts of negative energy from my readings, who the heck threatened/bullied you for having flaws and being imperfect, yuck cause whoever and whatever energy this is in your reading, banish this energy and cleanse yourself.

And I also realized this pile has a tendency of lying to themselves, living in delusional world, to the extent that this energy just fakes their inner core to make to success. Idk why but I feel like there's a lot inner strength inside and you are resilient but things that you think or say about yourself, or the way you describe yourself isn't right, This pile gives massive self esteem issues, I am also getting someone from ghettos or someone who works in red light district or regions, someone from marginalized/ostracized communities. Its as if there's no limit to how much emotional you can get due to external pressure, that you stop thinking properly, burn your stability, stop thinking for yourself just for the sake of getting noticed by others, there's a tendency of gaslighting yourself into thinking that this is something you do for your own sake, when in reality you were conditioned to think that this was for you. Its giving - being threatened or bullied to an extent where you think the wrongs done against were all for your sake, and that it was alright. OMG pile 6, you are in serious need for therapy, ngl this energy is intense. I am hearing Doechi's denial is river's last verse of intense breathing, reminds me of surviving death.

Dear pile 6, please get away from these shackles of ego, and heal yourself, you need and deserve so much loving at this time, don't shut yourself out like a hikikomori. Omg Iam getting Woosung's The day that I died, especially the lyrics -

"Standing in the kitchen light I swear that won't ever leave this room

Honey, I'll be eighty-nine with flowers growing out my eyes Waiting here for you Holding onto hope I'll hold you in another life There's a hole in my chest 'Cause the day that you left Was the day that I died"

This scares me pile 6, please move on, maybe someone in this pile could have lost their previous lover, grieving or mourning their loss, or just cannot believe the loss of them or an underrated version of them in/through this album or music video. Like there's someone underrated, probably an underrated artist who could have left your side . Idk I just channeled that, like them leaving you for somebody else and then I heard SZA's Kill Bill. I also channeled, "there's a joke that you said on the day that I died" pile 6, I am so sorry, but someone could have ridiculed your love for them

Pile 6, its time to shift this reality, let go of this energy, let him/her go. The inevitable has happened you can't change it. Please find therapy, Idk why I just feel like this is an extremely traumatized pile that is coping with some loss and taking their anger out due to the injustice they felt through Kendrick Lamar songs. Pile 6 you need a bit rest. And stop making fun of your own hopelessness after the truth has been revealed to you, stop making fun of your own efforts to confront the truth/ or the truth itself. I just want you to know, you are doing great. Please be gentle with yourself. Thank you for reading till here. It must be hard, take care. Also please do not nitpick yourself, that's harsh for someone who has gone through so much, let yourself rest.

6.What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

One of the most valuable lesson that you could have learnt in this life could be navigating through your fear of loss, I am getting loss of materialistic things like the loss of money, loss of pressure, importance of boundaries to lead a stable enough life. First of all I'm seeing that you guys have to develop a balanced mindset in the future about materialistic objects, some of you could have some sentiments attached to those materialistic objects/ I am getting photos, mirror. Maybe you have a fear of losing these items of someone beloved. I just want you to know that their memories, the places they visited with you, the things you learnt from them and the way they shaped you. The exact experience of them, is what you carry with you, today, as of now, at this moment, so no matter wherever they are gone to (for some in heaven) they are still with you. Their essence residing within you, with you, you don't need anything, or anyone physical to experience them again. I am getting someone who switches lover to lover, friend to friend just to live through the experience of their lost lover, trying to find them in different people. Maybe this was something you went through, where a person was trying to find their previous lover through you, maybe you could have adopted that same attitude, or felt unseen by somebody significant in your life, so you hold onto their things to feel them, when in reality, you actually never needed anyone else or anything in life, whatever it was that you needed or had to take from them was always with you and in you, please know and understand that you don't need anybody or anything else to feel them or their love again.

You are not incomplete without them, you are perfectly fine. So stop nitpicking yourself, finding flaws within you, you are not a replacement. If you see nightmares or dreams of lover everyday, I would like you to calm down and understand these are your memories of them not an indication or a sign that you should go after them. (Im seeing the Prince Zuko having fever dreams about the blue dragon and red dragon, Dear pile 6 if you are having suicidal dreams then please don't give up and don't listen to the blue dragon)

Please watch this video, and for context, Zuko's mother isn't alive anymore, the blue dragon is making Zuko give up his desires and his dreams.

Please seek help pile 6, there's too loss, too much bullying, too much trauma silencing in this pile. Please seek help. Just calm down okay, I understand that you are slipping through these cracks of somebody's changed behavior or complete absence right now, I understand that this must be a lot to go through but just like how sometimes we need to cut off a absent but an alive lover, we need to let go of dead person. Dear pile 6, I have all my sympathies and grieving towards you, for you, but please understand that this isn't the answer. This isn't the end. You got to fight it off, this feeling of wanting give up completely, needs to stop alright. Cause in the end of the day in the end of the day its easy to end our day thinking, our life's over while thinking about a loss so huge, but there's a way to stand up again, by doing it gently, little by little . Let yourself down gently, pile 6. Make peace with life, you are okay, you will be alright, just let it pass okay. Passed on loved ones would also want us to live through life despite the challenges it throws your way. I hope you understand that.

Now I think for some of you because you were used as a replacement by someone before, you kind of guilty or indebted to pay back the love that is being given to you. I think this mechanism of internal guilt tripping has carried on itself with you even towards the people you end up losing in your life, whether to somebody else or to death, you feel indebted to repay back a love which you couldn't give them every single time you miss, which in some cases make you feel like you are someone insufficient or were never deserving of their love in the first place, (if your lover left you for somebody else) or you start feeling unfulfilled or purposeless for not being able to give back their love to them (if you are mourning over the loss of a deceased lover) I would like you to understand you don't owe anyone anything. In this karmic cycle of life, we are meant to meet certain people for a certain period of time, to experience and learn and don't worry the love you gave hasn't left, its bound to come back to you once again, maybe not in the form of your ex lover but maybe as somebody or something else or through channeling this love into your passions and hobbies, maybe you will find passion, purpose, fulfillment and joy in your life once again, so don't please don't feel indebted due to it. Your purpose was not to give back whatever love everyone poured into, sometimes we are given love to keep it as a keepsake in our heart and in our memory, not to replicate it and give it back like a debt you borrow from bank. Dear pile 6, I don't care who has made you feel that you need every ounce and inch of the love, care and attention that someone gave you while you were in a relationship with them, please know that you weren't obliged to give back nor should you be obliged to give it back. Please communicate this to whoever guilt tripped you into this whether its your own mind playing games with you or somebody else, you were never obliged to do this, so stop colonizing or letting someone colonize LOVE.

Now I feel like many of you struggle to get over past or the notions and ideologies that were handed down to you in your past. You many have a really bad habit of holding onto the perception of other people, especially if viewing yourself through your past affair's or lover's perception was a sport, you would rather cling onto those memories like gold medals and never change yourself, and be the exact kind of person your lover wanted you to be just to experience the everyday hallucination of being touched, loved and embraced by them the way they embraced you. How should I say suppose you two were having affairs despite being committed somewhere else, after their death, all you want to do is, keep cheating your commitments to feel the touch or embrace of that one secret lover, whom you loved the most, that you no more. Not that I am saying you have done any of it. Even if this was the case no shame, given how strategically spirit asked me to place Alessia Cara and Alec Benjamin's song, I feel like some of you could be from LGBTQ-IA+ communities. If you are an Indian Bahujan Samaj Party or Congress could have been significant to you.

For some of you things were pretty obvious, but the both of you never made the move so it just remain as stagnant as it could get. I think time has come to get over . Leave this stagnancy behind and make a new start.

Instead of leaving signs and signals for a specific someone to pick them up, I think it has come time for you to stop repeating these hallucinating patterns of wanting to propose them this way or that way. This pile gives me Your Lie in April anime, where the guy couldn't propose the girl he liked only to find out she too secretly liked him but never had the courage to tell him so she left her proposal note in her death bed/funeral, saying this as such. Accept that its too late to do all that right now. They might have perceived you in some way, yes and you may have loved them a lot more, but sometimes its better for us to accept the reality to let people go. We can't keep limiting ourselves to their perceptions of us forever to feel their imaginary love through playing the same delusions (that they are still there in our lives and they still love us) in our minds, and feel their absence instead, we can't keep on replaying the same scenarios in our heads to replace their love, when, my dear loves, you gotta accept and agree that they are gone, and their absence can not be replaced by somebody else. Please accept that.

To move ahead you are being asked to accept and embrace change, let change usher in to help you grow out of these old habits so that you can let go, and move on. Embrace change, as you cannot hold onto what's absent. As it will only be harder for us to live with someone or something that will never answer our calls. Don't taint your memories of them with your brain's constant struggles of holding onto them, and their memories, their soul has already made a huge impact in your life journey, you may not know, but you subconscious already has a blueprint of them, you don't need to know them through your memories, your soul already knew them, that's why you met them in this life, so your soul knows them, you don't need to keep those memories, your subconscious has already been shaped by them. And now whatever it is that is limiting you because of the beliefs they gave you needs to be let go of as well. They have done their work, now its time for you to learn, change yourself and drop these limiting beliefs you are subjecting in this life and let go of them to do the growth you were always meant to do on yourself as a human being.

For some of you (who have been cheated on) this person's absence could have left you feeling insufficient, unworthy or labelled for some reason. I want you to understand that this isn't your job to hold onto these perceptions and consider it as true, no matter how loud their voices were, they weren't true, and you don't need to take on all that. Cause none of them were even true. They are just retarded techniques used by abusive people to control you. So don't believe them, they just don't want you to realize your power.

Ask yourself what you like in a partner, what makes you happy, what are some of the most genuine, open and honest communication that you want to have with other people, what kind of people do you want to surround yourself with and what career do you actually want to take or do? If every single day was the last day of your life, how would you live it more presently while enjoying it at each and every moment. Who do you want to live as, the past who's still holding onto those same beliefs that's limiting them or the present that's continuously growing, loving and understand that the love they gave and received had no confines hence its okay to let go of it to live this love just like how the nature of love always is, unending, ever-growing, beautiful, forever LOVE.

[redrreign]

relationships are difficult. feelings are difficult. i may or may not have been lowkey invited into my friends relationship like 3 times today. and also i might be some flavor of aromantic so thats. a thing i am dealing with

[leahblackk]

Lies Pt.1

(The gif is not mine. Whoever made this thank you and I’m sorry)

Summary: Spencer Reid and Y/n Y/L are two incredible agents with a beautiful relationship. But things get messed up when Cat Adams comes into their life.

Type: Angst. 

I changed things a little bit so there’s no spoilers for those who haven’t got into this part of the serie. Probably a second part if I dont have another block. Enjoy!

Pt.2 here

Pt.3 here

...

Y/n Y/L and Spencer Reid are some of the best FBI agents the Bureau has ever had, and all of their coworkers can tell you the same. Even those cops and agents who had to work with when the case was far from home. They were always so dedicated to their work. It wasn't a surprise when they got pretty close to each other. They had a beautiful friendship.

Their coworkers and other people they had worked with can tell you they looked so in love with each other. It wasn't a secret. The way they protected each other, the way they looked at each other. In the cases, always talking and laughing around and even got to the point where they got touchy, need to feel the other warmth. Yeah, they were in love.

But yet they were too proud to say it out loud. It took two long years to finally say it out loud. They started a beautiful relationship which, in the words of the technical analysts Penelope Garcia, their relationship was the remainder for all the team that love still exists, even when sometimes all can be sadness and death, they were the ray of sun and happiness who have entered the doors of the BAU.

But like anything can be rainbows and happiness all the time, things got messed up when Cat Adams came into the couple's life. Spencer had questions, and the only person who could give him answers was her.

Y/N on her side didn't feel right talking to Cat. It wasn't because she was jealous, she wasn't like that, and even if she were, she understands that it was vital for him to talk to her. Besides, Spencer wasn't excited either. Adding the fact that she received letters from Adams while Cat was in prison.

Cat Adams was utterly obsessed with Spencer Reid, and when she found out he was dating Dr Y/L, she got furious, so she decided to make a living hell for Spencer's little girlfriend. Writing her letters, telling her how much Spencer loved Maeve and Cat, and because he couldn't have any of them, he decided to pick Y/N as a third choice.

Y/N wasn't stupid, and she understands what Cat was trying to do, but the letters never stopped. Even in those moments when she needed comfort from all the stress, Spencer never found out what was going on.

Y/n exhaled and stood from her desk and walked through the BAU hallways with a million thoughts in her head. She stood in front of the Batcave how Penelope used to call it, and knocked on the door. After a few seconds, she heard chairs wheels moving on the floor, and later soft heels steps walking closer to the door. And then the door was opened, letting Y/N see Penelope's face. She smiled at her, and Y/N smiled as well.

"Hey pumpkin, how may I help you?" She asked and stepped aside, letting her friend inside.

"I just need some light and love into this madness," Y/N said while she sits on the empty desk aside from the computers.

"Well, you came to the right place."

Garcia could sense something wasn't okay with her. She sits on her chair and looks at her friend who was playing with her rings and with the specific one that Spencer gave her on their anniversary as a promise ring. Garcia wasn't a profiler, but she knew that the reason why she was acting particularly was because of Boy Genius.

"Tell me what is bothering that pretty mind of yours." She put her hand on her knee to give her comfort cause she knew Y/L wasn't good with talking about her feelings.

"It's just all of this thing about Spencer talking with Cat, I don't know, makes me have this weird feeling in my heart."

"Are you jealous?"

"No, I'm not. I thought that maybe was the reason, but I'm not at all. It's just, I don't know Pen." She exhales, feeling frustrated because she couldn't find the right words.

Garcia gives her a sad smile. "Look, if you were jealous, you don't have to because let me tell you that boy genius is in love with you. He wouldn't cheat on you or hurt you on purpose. Besides, with Cat? That lady is hella crazy."

Y/N chuckled and smiled at her.

"Hey, you two had a party and didn't invite me?" Emily said, walking inside of the room and sitting next to Y/N.

"Well, you are already here," Pen says.

"Is everything alright? Morgan told me Spencer was coming from his little chat with Cat."

"I hope he got the answers he needs," Garcia said, looking over at Emily.

"He didn't," JJ said in the frame of the door, looking exhausted.

"How did everything go?" Y/N asks.

JJ exhaled, walking inside and sitting in front of Emily and Y/N. "It wasn't right. She got into his skin, and he got so mad. When we're driving, he didn't want to talk with anybody. And then when we got here, he went to Hotch's office." "I hope he's okay." Y/N whispers, playing with her ring again.

"Why won't you go and talk to him? He probably wants to see you." Emily says, looking at her, but she was focused on playing with her rings.

Y/N shook her head. "When he's mad, he likes to be alone. Besides, if he went to Hotch's office for a reason."

"You don't want to talk to him, do you?" Emily asked.

Y/N could feel tears in the corner of her eyes and shook her head again. "Is not for something he did, but I don't think I will help if I go with him right now. I just feel weird, you know?"

"It has to be a reason why you feel like this, honey. "Garcia said.

Y/N nod and sigh. "When Spencer and I got together, he already met Cat, and when she found out we were dating, I don't know what happened, and she started sending me letters. She used to tell me how much Spencer loved Maeve and her, and you know I got this job months after Maeve died. Obviously, Spencer told me, but the way she described everything was so weird and hurtful, besides she told me he loved her so much and the reason he was with me it was because he couldn't have any of them and I was the third choice. I know she did it because she wanted to make me mad. But, I don't know, and today she wrote to me and told me she was going to do anything in her power to have Spencer with her again."

Y/N wiped the tear going down on her cheek.

"That bitch." Garcia said, wiping her tears because watching Y/N cry, one of her best friends, hurt her.

"Spencer knows about this?" JJ asked.

"No, he doesn't. It was nothing initially, and then I couldn't find the right moment and then all the stress we had been through. I didn't think it was a good idea."

"Baby, he's your boyfriend. He needs to know." Emily said, grabbing Y/N's tight.

"I know, but I don't think this is a good time either. Please don't tell him, I will, but not now." "Your secret is safe with us," Garcia said, and Y/N smiled at her friends.

…

When Y/N finally felt a little bit better, she walked out of Garcia's Batcave and put herself to work.

"Hey, where were you? I was looking for you." She heard her boyfriend's voice, watching him standing beside her. She looked at him and could sense how tense he was.

"I was with Garcia. How did everything go?" She already knew the answer but still asked. She watched her boyfriend sigh. She didn't notice the cup of coffee in his hand until he put it on her desk.

"It wasn't ideal, but it could've been worse."

"I'm sorry." She said, giving him a sad smile.

"It's okay. I have to talk with you about something." She could sense he was nervous.

"Yeah?"

He looked down, not wanting to tell what he was going to. He didn't want her to feel bad, but he needs her approval.

"Cat wanted a deal. Me going on a date with her so she can tell us what we need, but I needed to ask you first because I am not going to do anything you are not comfortable with because-"Spencer started rambling.

"Spence," She stops him. "It's okay. I mean, I know how bad you need to know this, so yeah, don't worry." It wasn't okay, she didn't want him to go on a date with her, but she would be selfish if she denied it.

Spencer stared at her girlfriend, he didn't think she would agree, and he would understand why. He didn't want her going on a date with someone else too. Yet, he felt relieved.

"Are you sure?"

Y/n only nodded.

…

It was now the day date. Spencer tried to find Y/n before he left, he needed to see her and ask her again if she wanted him doing that, but he didn't find her. She was getting distant from him. He felt weird not having her with him. They couldn't talk about it because Spencer knew that if she needed to speak to him, she'd.

And then with his heart hurt because he couldn't find his girlfriend, he went on a date with the woman who made her girlfriend be apart from him.

…

Y/n was doing paperwork all day, but then she received a strange call.

"Hello?" Y/n asked.

"Y/n Y/L?" The other line asked.

"Who is this?"

"I need you to come to the direction I will send you on a message, alone, please. I need you to save me."

"Who is this?" She asked again, more confused than ever.

"Emily Johnson, please come. She said that If you come with anyone else, she is going to kill me, please. I am scared."

Emily Johnson was one of the victims they were looking for a few months before, but for reasons the team didn't know, the case got closed, declaring Emily Johnson dead. The line went dead, and Y/n didn't know what to do. She knew that she might get in trouble if she goes alone, but she might kill her if Y/n doesn't go.

She grabbed her things and walked out of the Bureau. And then she received a message with the direction. Biting her lip, Y/n got into her car and started driving.

…

Y/n stood in front of a brown apartment door with the number 206. She took out her gun and opened the door softly. She walked inside, closing the door behind her, watching Emily Johnson tied on a chair, tears coming down her face. When Emily watched Y/n, she started moving and tried to talk, but she couldn't because of the tape on her mouth.

Y/n walked where she was. "Hey, it's okay. Everything is okay. You're okay. It is over now." Y/n took the tape out of her mouth, and Emily started crying again.

"Thank you, thank you so much. I thought she was going to kill me."

"I need you to tell me who she is." She started taking off the string who kept her in the chair.

And then the door got open, and Y/n retook her gun, pointing to the door. Her heart got broken when she saw what was in front of her. Spencer, her boyfriend kissing Cat, with his hands on her hair. Y/n put down her gun, and then Spencer pulled away from Cat, watching her, but Cat was watching Y/n with a smile.

Spencer, confused, looked where Cat was looking, and his heart got paralyzed. There was his girlfriend, looking at them with tears in her precious eyes.

"Y/n," Spencer said with all the guilt in the world. Shaking.

"It's her! Y/n, it's her." Emily said, and Y/n came out of her shook.

"Hello, Y/n, it is so nice to see you," Cat said with a smile.

"Sadly, the feeling is not reciprocated. And it's Doctor Y/L for you, " Y/n said. She untied the girl who was shaking and took her hand. "I will return you to your parents, okay? But we need to go with someone first." The girl nodded. Y/n looked at Spencer with disgust. He looked at her with guilt, trying to figure out what to do or what to say.

"Doctor Reid, I hope you can get Cat where she belongs, unless, of course, you want to keep her." She said, walking outside. Spencer took her arm hurt at the name she just calls him. It wasn't Spence, Spencer or even Reid. "Don't touch me."

"I told you I was going to get Spencie back," Cat said.

"What is she talking about?" Spencer asked, confused.

"Doesn't matter anymore."

And then Y/n left. Spencers biggest love went thinking he cheated on her

[serenheist]

What Jungkook is like in a relationship/ Jungkook as a boyfriend Tarot reading

I was gonna put Jin up first but I finished Jungkook quicker so oops but I’m finally back after 200 years of adulting things

1. How long does it take Jungkook to get into a relationship? 8 of pentacles, 2 of cups, the world Do he prefer long or short term relationships 7 of swords, ace of wands Nelys the alchemist 27 reversed, 5 of swords, 9 of cups reversed 

For an actual relationship and not just dating I think he can take a while if not a long ass time because he’s too much of a perfectionist and will work hard at making sure everything is right before getting into a relationship. I don't know why I’m getting like before things would get “steamy” he would never let them see his body until he worked out enough for his own standards like everything has to be perfected and mastered beforehand. There’s also a reoccurring theme of work getting in the way and even in the beginning stages it’s like he meets up with them does whatever then has to hurry and run back to work and is like “hey I gotta go but I’ll text you later” type of shit. Big focus mostly on career though so it’s hard to tell. But I still think he’s not just sleeping around with just anyone I mean they have to be important if the 2 of cups pops up. I don’t think he’ll get into an actual relationship with someone unless there’s a strong connection. Or at least to him it seems like an important connection.

I gotta say too that the 7 of swords usually screams fuckboi to me but in this case I think the lying and trickery aspect of the card can be taken literally to mean of course he has to lie and sneak around when fans would legit doxx and slit his partners throat if they knew they were together. But anyway in a relationship there’s definitely gonna be extremely strong sexual chemistry I don’t know why this keeps popping up but alright. But one annoying thing is that in a relationship jungkook seems to like fighting in a way. He doesn’t like to lose to anything and will want to win an argument even if it’s petty. There’s also a kind of energy of the other person feeling inadequate sometimes with how much praise he gets from the entire world. It makes the other person feel as exposed since they’re not doing as “well” in the grand scheme of things. And will sometimes not want to compliment him on things because he gets compliments from the entire world this is just day to day petty shit. Another thing is getting into a relationship thinking this person is the one but then realizing over time and all the work you put in was useless cause this is emotionally unfulfilling.

2. Past and present love life king of pentacles, wheel of fortune reversed, queen of pentacles 

Past: bruh his love life in the past is similar to the present. He was mostly focused on building his own career and wealth and love was on the back burner tbh. I think since he has huge goals for himself there was really no time to even do other things. But his love life right now seems like it’s a external long term problem affecting it. And I think he’s learning how to balance his love life and work life right now and just letting things happen and trying to take care of his body and mind.

3. What is he like in a relationship Tobaira of the waters 37 reversed, The glanconer 62 reversed, mother of dawn, knight of pentacles, flashover 11, 6 of swords reversed, addiction 11, envious gluttony 9, is this me? 4

When Jungkook is in a relationship he doesn’t fully feel like he can be emotionally vulnerable and instead will act mischievous and play around to hide behind vulnerability. It can tend to make the other person mad because they never know when he’ll actually be serious because he plays too much sometimes. There’s also playing up to peoples ideas of him. It’s not outwardly tricking people but allowing them to believe what they want and project their fantasies on him. It’s like a weird energy of wanting to rebel but also you feel stuck and want to please them so you don’t let them down. I think he overthinks legit everything and makes things a bigger deal in his mind than what it really is.

Another thing is he could have a tendency to stay with someone even if it’s toxic because of a mix of remembering the good times and also insecurities. There are big vibes of being emotionally stunted like I feel that he’s mentally a teenager still and even though he’s physically different and projects something different. When he’s in a relationship; he still feels like that insecure kid in his head and he can’t escape it. It’s like a false bravado thing going on. There’s a hole that leads to darkness and from that another one that leads to even more darkness. That's dramatic but that’s what it’s like for him. It’s like this emotionally starved monster in his head but in reality the monster is this scrawny young boy who wants to let go and open up but is blocked by himself and running away from his shadow aspects. I do see him though slowly moving towards becoming more open, honest allowing his vulnerable and passionate side out in a healthier way but it might take a while (unless he’s already been working on this) since the knight of pentacles is the slowest knight but he’s also the most stable and loyal.

4. What is his "type" the sage 19 reversed, knight of cups reversed, Jeanne the maid, golden empress, the lovers reversed, 3 of cups reversed 

His ideal type is someone who can come across as aloof, cold, excessively critical. Hey I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but when I pulled a clarifier I got the knight of cups reversed lolll. Dude likes toxic people apparently. On the surface they might look “normal” but on the inside their inner world is overflowing and they have an abundance of charisma and sexual energy. Honestly that could be a big reason why he likes that. There’s a big dualistic energy in them and appearing the best on surface level but underneath is really unpredictable and has the energy of unrequited love. I think he likes those types of people who don’t fawn over him like he’s the second coming of Jesus tbh. This person doesn’t give 2 fucks and they don’t tell everything up front they’re mysterious and it’s more of a challenge for him. They’re really good at appearing humble and maybe innocent even but that’s just because they know how to woo people really. They’re confident and can convince people of almost anything especially around those in power they know how to present their best self to get what they want.

At first I was confused why your ideal type would be someone that seems manipulative af but it makes sense when Jungkook has a lot of deep dark shit he needs to work on from the other cards. I think it’s a big codependency thing and excitement that someone toxic can bring also the fact that this person is down for anything in the bedroom they’re not ashamed or shy about it. His idea of love is pretty distorted he thinks he needs someone who is as intense as he is but really it would be a bad combination especially with the lovers reversed. I’m getting especially that as long as he keeps going after these types of people, he’s never going to be with his “true love” for a lack of a better term. Basically not be with someone who is actually good for him. There could be third party bs but I’m getting more of an overindulged and addiction energy between both of them. Even if he knows they’re no good it’s just so intoxicating it’s like a damn drug to him and it feeds into his more animalistic side (I have no idea how to articulate this lmao) it’s like possessive nature. This reminds me a lot of the attachment types since there’s a lot of people like this who love a more avoidant person and I feel that Jungkook is probably avoidant himself so this is like home sweet home to him. It puts him in the cat chasing mouse position instead of the other way around. That emotionally unavailable energy is very appealing to a lot of people I guess especially when you’re used to everyone bending over backwards for you.

5. What is his love language: Ta’Om the poet 29 reversed, the bodacious Bodach 59 reversed 

He likes when someone actually does helpful things for him that is useful and not like the annoying meddling energy of just doing stuff for him that he doesn’t want you to do. He also does this for others. So acts of service mostly but you already knew that.

[manonblaqkbeak]

The Reunion

Day 5--I had completely forgotten that I had written this lol. It’s more fluff as usual. Can’t wait to read everyone else’s later on!

Enjoy! :)

1.8k words

Rowan couldn't wait to get home. Today had been...exhausting, to say the least. He was a personal trainer, and with that came the territory that people would talk about their issues while working out. Which was fine, Rowan understood that letting out emotional issues when working out helped people to stay motivated. He himself had been known to rant about his issues when working out himself.

But today had been a lot. One of his regulars had put on weight over the Yulemas holidays and was beating himself up over it. Another regulars marriage was over and was dealing with that guilt.  Someone had lost a favourite aunt. Another one had to break off an engagement because it was a loveless relationship. And on and on the issues piled up.

Rowan was good at compartmentalizing, but after a while, he ignored his lunch break in order to go to the park to just...not think for a while.

Being at the park cheered him up a little, but his break was soon too over. And he was back to work, and that was when the skies decided to open up and pour down buckets of rain. Making a bad day into a shittier one.

His wipers were on the fastest setting and he was driving at a snails pace when he looked away for one second, one fucking second, when he heard a thump and a feminine voice yell out “what the fuck!”

Slamming on the brakes, Rowan came to a speedy conclusion.

He was at a pedestrian crossing and he just hit someone with his car.

He just hit someone with his car.

“Fucking hell!”

Pulling up the handbrake, Rowan got out, not sure what to say or do when he came across a golden haired woman, her eyes spitting out blue and gold fire.

Rowan blinked at her, because despite being covered in rain and sitting on her behind, hand rubbing at her hip, she looked familiar.

But now wasn't the time to thinking about that. He had to see if she was okay. “I'm so sorry,” he got out, “I have no idea what happened. I looked away for a second, that was all. I'm so fucking sorry. Are you okay?”

“My hip and my ass hurt, and I suspect that I'm going to have a wicked bruise, but I think I'm okay,” the stranger said. “You should really watch what you're doing, though.”

“I know. I'm sorry, again.”

The stranger sighed, and even that sounded familiar. “What a fucking day I'm having,” she mumbled.

“Bad day?” He probably made it worse, too. He should also really get her into his car, but she starting ranting before he could do anything about it.

“The fucking worst. I'm facing a deadline that I can't finish, because I'm having dreadful writers block. My landlord is a fucking creep who came to my place today saying that my underwear 'accidentally' got mixed in with his laundry. My cousin's dad recently came back into his life, so now he's angry all the damned time and it's leeching into me. And you just hit me with your car.”

Rowan nodded in understanding, but only could manage to say, “Yeah, your day definitely sucks.”

She glared at him, silently telling him that that wasn't really the best way to respond, but he was having a bad day, also.

Which wasn't an excuse he knew, but Gods, it wasn't really his day either.

Rowan helped her up, her hands warm despite the cold and took her to his passenger seat and pulled over to the side. He couldn't help but notice that she smelled like jasmine and lemon verbena. A calming scent.

“I'm not sure what the protocol is,” he admitted after handing her a hand towel from the glove box. “Do we call the police? Or my insurance? I should take you to the hospital, I know that much.” Even if all she said was that she hurt her behind and hip, it'd be best to ensure that she didn't fracture anything.

When she said nothing after a moment, Rowan turned, noting that the silence from the woman was a little concerning, scared to death that maybe she hit her head and was going into shock.

Her blue-gold eyes were wide. “Are you okay?” he asked again. He really should get her to the hospital.

“Are you...? This is...you couldn't be. Rowan? Rowan Whitethorn?”

Rowan blinked, his concern turning inward. “Yes, that's my name. How did you—?”

“I, uh, it's me. Aelin Ashryver Gala—”

“Galathynius?” He finished for her. She nodded.

They sat in silence as Rowan stared at her, taking in her blue-gold eyes, golden hair, the lemon verbena and jasmine smell of her. Recalling the familiar sigh. All of it.

Rowan wanted to bang his head on the steering wheel when all of it came crashing down on him. He had just hit his high school crush with his car.

Rowan, for whatever reason that he couldn't name, wanted to laugh. He never would have suspected that he would hit Aelin Galathynius with his car ten years after high school graduation.

He was fairly certain that high school him had been in love with her from the moment he saw her. Rowan had wanted to ask her out at least a dozen times, but he was an awkward seventeen year old that didn't know how to talk to women that weren't family members and never gained the courage to do so.

It was one of his biggest regrets from his teenage years.

The last time he had seen her was at the after party of their graduating day. She wore a daisy flower crown and was sparkling in a golden dress. He had never seen someone as beautiful as her—even to this day.

Unbeknownst to Rowan, Aelin had felt the same way. She was confident back then as she was now, but every time she wanted to go up to Rowan to talk to him, to get to know him, the butterflies in her stomach threatened to strangle her.

So she never did ask him out. And here she was now, ten years later, in his car. He was still the most handsome man she'd ever seen.

She was still pissed as hell though that he hit her with his car.

It had only taken a moment, a single moment, for her to realise who it was she was sitting next to. The moment that the hand towel touched her face and she breathed in the pine and snow scent of it, she was transported back to the past.

“How have you been?” Rowan asked her after long minutes. His green eyes still as pretty as the day Aelin saw them. She was sure that was what she loved about him the most all those years ago. Other than Lysandra's, Aelin had never seen such a stunning green.

Aelin snorted, her fond memories disappearing at the inane question. “You were listening when I was ranting, weren't you? My day has been shit.”

Rowan gave her a small smile, and her heart skipped a beat. He still smiled the same. She had liked that about him, too. Still did, apparently.

“No, I mean how's life been since graduation? You mentioned writers block. Are you a writer then?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I write fantasy-adventure-romance novels under the name of Celaena Sardothien.” She had liked the animosity of it all, with none of her books containing a single photograph of her.

“That's amaz—wait. You mean to tell me that you're the writer of the 'Fireheart' series?”

Aelin smiled proudly. “That's me. Have you read them?”

“I have. It's one of my favourite series.” They were his guilty pleasure, really, but it felt rude to say that out loud, as if it was shameful.

Aelin blinked, taken aback at the confession. “Really? You mean to tell me that brooding Rowan Whitethorn reads romance novels?”

Rowan frowned a little bit at that. “I don't brood. Not anymore.”

“You're brooding right now.”

Rowan grumbled. Okay, maybe he was, just a little bit, however.

“How about you, though?” Aelin asked. “How's life been?”

“Busy. And right now, it's a bit shitty. I'm sorry for hitting you with my car, truly. We should get you to a hospital, though. Just to make sure that you're okay, please,” he added, when he saw that she opened her mouth to likely protest. “I won't be able to sleep if it turns out you need a hip replacement or something and I didn't take you to get checked out.”

Aelin truly doubted she would need a hip replacement, but nodded anyway. “Okay, you can take me to the hospital. And then afterwards, I'll give you my number and you can take me out to dinner.”

Rowan blinked at that and then smiled. He had always like confidence in a person. “Okay, it's a date.”

“I've never had a date after a hospital visit.”

“Well, then, I better make it great.”

Aelin smiled, warmth filling her. The day turning out a little nicely, despite it all. “You better.”

x x x x x

As Rowan lead Aelin to the dance floor, he couldn't believe his luck. Never in a thousand years did he think that accidentally hitting Aelin with his car would lead to this.

To their first dance as husband and wife.

It had been exactly one year to the day when he saw her again after ten years. It was very much an Aelin thing to want to have their wedding anniversary to match the date.

The story had been re-told by a slightly tipsy Fenrys as part of his best man speech, about how Rowan would be the only man in the world to meet his future wife by way of a car accident. The story always made people laugh, with people saying that the universe must have wanted to get them together and was sick of them taking too long.

Because as it turned out, when Rowan and Aelin's relationship grew and they learned more about their ten years of life, they were always somehow minutes away from running into each other. From when Rowan was starting his hike in the Southern Continent, Aelin had just finished hers and was going back to her hotel—the very fact that they were staying at the same hotel, but floors apart.

When Rowan had missed out on book tickets to a signing of her third novel in the Fireheart series, and he had to turn around and leave the bookstore since it was a private function just as Aelin was moments away from going on.

From going to the same concerts, to the same festivals, from seemingly everything that they had in common, they had missed each other by minutes.

They silently thanked the universe, even if the way they ran into each other was less than ideal. But they wouldn't change it for the world.

Rowan kissed his wife and thanked his lucky stars.

[tin-can-iron-man]

Hey have we ever seen Doom be romantic in that physical sense? Because when he got that woman pregnant I was like “When did that happen?” Did I miss an indication that it did? I know he likes to get married to the occasional entity, but that’s usually for political reasons.

the short answer of this all is just a simple “yes” but if you want to listen to me explain in explicit, pain-staking detail (and occasionally my own biased opinions) of what you could possibly refer to as “Victor Von Dooms disastrous love life” you’re welcome to hit that read more because strap in I’m about to write a goddamn essay (also credit to whoever has it as I took these images off the internet thank you for your service or else this entire mess would’ve have photos to break it up)

So, in reference specifically to the Amara thing we need to take a few steps back and possibly assume several things (unless I, too, have missed or forgotten about something, I haven’t read those Iron Man issues in a very long time despite regularly revisiting infamous for some light reading to unholy binging accompanied by certain other stories (life FF (2011) but specifically only when Victor is around and recent installments to either yell at them about why they’re not understanding my poor little meow meow as a character properly or yell at them because Victor is making sense in a way that is told narratively as wrong but actually has a point or two)

So, for some flavor context: Amara Perera is a genius biophysicist who was introduced in the 2016 Invincible Iron Man run as Tony’s next love interest/girlfriend. She meets Victor while she is dating Tony because Victor won’t stop bothering Tony as he’s chosen to be his sort of inspiration/ideal role model of sorts on his own path towards redemption after all the shit he’s pulled (because he realized during the 2015 Secret Wars event that even with everything he’s ever wanted: ultimate power (of the beyonder) and to be ruler of the (remaints) of the multiverse, even being Reed Richards (to an extent but, yeah he stole his entire family and replaced Reeds role because he had the ability to do that, are you ok Victor) wasn’t what he…truly wanted, so his desire to become a “superhero” is more about a journey to find a purpose as well as an apology for all of the horrible things he did as Doctor Doom for a role he realized he was not truly fitted for and the fact that you would reTCON THAT PART OF DOOMS ARC AND THROW HIM BACK INTO A VILLAINOUS ROLE MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO WIN, EVEN WE HE DOES, AND TAKES AWAY THE EMOTIONAL GROWTH HE JUST WENT THROUGH–) 

So yeah Victor keeps randomly walking in to talk to Tony or assist Tony or just kinda check up on Tony and…yeah he was really focused on trying to be Tony’s friend at this time (if you wanna call it that, Victor thinks they’re friends, Tony is being a big ol tsundere about it). And occasionally he would do this kind of thing with Amara around, or when Amara was on dates with Tony. like, straight up crashing in and third wheeling. Noting and appreciating Amara’s general lack of fear at his presence, even talking science/shop talk with her and giving her notes/advice.

Then Tony fakes his death for a mission that goes on for too long and it’s implied and slightly shown that this is the point in time where Victor and Amara are alone together. Victor gets Amara a job at Cambridge and checks in on her from time to time because, you know, her boyfriend was just declared dead. And as far as I’m aware most of their relationship, if one could call it that, happens off panel. I kinda interpret the whole situation like a soap opera (which is how most of Tony’s relationships are like in comics) (also I’m using this next bit as an example and not exactly what I believe happened): the soap opera Guy who was with the soap opera Girl dies and the guys soap opera Frenemy leaning towards friend does stuff like, buys her flowers as condolences, pays her bills for the next for months, moves in with her because “it’s too quiet in my house now” and eventually soap opera Girl falls into soap opera Frenemies arms and they uh, “spend the night together” only for soap opera Guy to show up and go “hey I’m not dead!!!” and soap opera Girl smack him and breaks things off only to then discover she is pregnant with soap opera Frenemies baby

(also there was originally an air of mystery about whos baby it actually was, Tony’s or Victors? But everyone just kinda universally agreed it was Victors, even the comics)

So, that’s the Amara stuff sorted out. I’m very sorry if my explanation has left you more confused. Comics do that.

Now, for your question on if we’ve ever seen doom being physically romantic for a woman, the answer to that is yes! I’m sure there are other women that I am forgetting about and I’m sure there are panels out there that show that I am a dumb-stupid head, and that’s ok.

For the most part Victor's love life isn’t…exactly elaborated on and it’s mostly just that while Victor–if a writer decided to–COULD have love interests he just simply doesn’t and mostly chooses not to. (Literally, there’s an old Latverian law (re: corrupt barons handled Latveria before Victor started a coup and took over and some laws he hasn’t gotten to/kept because he decided they would be convenient for one reason or another) where the Latverian royal family has the capacity to just simply, pick a woman from the crowd and force her to “spend time alone” with them, they can’t say no, they can’t fight back, if they’re married, their husbands must let them go, they must not refuse any request made of them at this time, so Latveria is basically just a giant fucking harem to the royal family. And the one and as far as I know only time Victor has ever used this was just simply to have a private conversation with a married woman so her family could not eavesdrop. Like. He’s fucking ethical!! Thank god.) 

This is, of course, not to say Victor hasn’t been interested in women, but the things he finds attractive are–most of the time–a person's boldness and the power that they possess (re: Amara, the first thing he noted about her was that he appreciated she was not afraid of him despite his reputation) and we can see that in some of the women he’s been interested in over the years, varying from a sort of–*hand gestures*–romantically charged respect he gives to Storm/Ororo Munroe even upon meeting her even for the first time, recognizing her power, grace, and again, her lack of fear of him (something he did not appreciate so much back then). 

To a kind of–albeit, established as manipulating and for ulterior motives–protectiveness over Wanda when he tried to marry her to gain control over her chaos magic. (and even maintaining a calm demeanor when Wanda threatens to kill him later on, which reads as “if you were going to do that, you already would have, Wanda” but I personally interpret it as “hot”). He still (at the very least, on a surface level) treated them with respect, he treats Ororo as an equal (if not more) and he treats Wanda…a bit less favorably but that's just different writers doing different things. And in the reality Wanda created where her and Victor were married (although I have not personally read it) he seemed to treat her with affection and respect that she must have at least perceived to be how Victor would act around her if they were truly husband and wife. A perception that was based in reality even though he was attempting to emotionally manipulate her.

Even Zora Vukovic aka Victorious, Victors herald and general right hand (wo)man and most recent attempted wife (for political reasons, thank god) (didn’t end up married because uh long story short everything exploded) shows this kind of boldness and is infused with cosmic power!!!

The only person who doesn’t exactly fall under this “type” of his is, arguably (I see you shippers), is his childhood sweetheart and the closest thing Victors ever had to a genuine girlfriend/wife: Valeria Karela (ok her wiki doesn’t say she has a last name but I’m going off the names of her grandfather and mother because it’s the only name I have) 

Also fun little sidenote!!: NOT, I REPEAT, NOT VALERIA RICHARDS, VICTOR WAS GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO NAME REED AND SUE’S DAUGHTER AFTER ASSISTING IN HER BIRTH (so midwife doctor doom is fucking canon, jot that down) WHERE SHE AND SUE WOULD HAVE DIED IF HE HADN’T HELPED AND HE NAMED HER VALERIA AFTER THIS VALERIA BECAUSE HE LOVED HER AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FITTING AS HE ALREADY DECIDED IN HIS HEAD TO STEAL GODFATHER STATUS. SHE IS NOT VALERIA RICHARDS, SHE IS VALERIA RICHARDS NAMESAKE, DOOM NAMED VALERIA AFTER THE WOMAN HE LOVED BECAUSE HE ALREADY DECIDED HE (PATERNALLY) LOVED BABY VALERIA)

So, haha, time to take a few steps back again! So Victor was born to a roma caravan in Latveria to Werner Von Doom (a healer/doctor) and his wife Cynthia Von Doom (a witch). A little while after his birth Cynthia sells her soul to the demon Mephisto (one of marvels top big bads) in return for power she wished to use to overthrow the corrupt barons ruling her country and put a stop to the oppression of her people, but while Mephisto had granted her the magical power to do this, she lacked control and was killed by a latverian guard and died and got her soul sentenced to Hell. Her use of “satanic witchcraft” was then used as another reason why the Romani in Latveria should be oppressed and discriminated against. This in turn turned the Caravan against Werner, her husband, and especially Victor, her son (because what is more condemning, than being the child of an evil witch?). So while they managed to get to stay in the caravan, nobody was really…willing to be around Victor anymore besides his father. (Because he’s an outsider, because he shouldn’t be here, because he’s the witches son)

Nobody…except for Valeria Karela.

A girl close to the same age as Victor and the granddaughter of Werner's close friend and confidant, Boris Karela. (yes, the same Boris who now serves in Castle Doom and has done so faithfully ever since he was introduced. Take that as you will.)

So, Victor and Valeria grew very close at this time, and by the time they were about…I’d say…just about preteens? They both fully expected to one day get married and have children together. 

Of course, this did not work out. But there’s more to it than that.

It’s not as though this was a…silly middle school romance (even though they were young), but rather things just sort of happened and snowballed in Vic and Val’s lives that eventually drove them apart for the time being (Started with Werner's death, then Victor finding Cynthia's things and starting to perform magic like his mother had) until Victor was given the option to attend State University in America on a full ride scholarship because of his genius in science, specifically engineering and robotics. Victor asked Valeria to come with him to America but she refused due to having familial obligations in Latveria. In turn, Valeria pleaded with Victor not to go to America and attend University, and they argued until she gave him the ultimatum of going to college alone in America or staying with her and getting married, like they had planned and daydreamed about since they were little kids.

And Victor chose. 

And attended his college orientation.

And then Victor literally accidentally blew his face of after trying to build a machine to communicate with his mother in Hell because he decided he must save her from her eternal torture and that explosion blew up his dorm room and he got expelled and then later got to look at his brand new deformed face for the first time.

Yeah so Victor went on a pretty depressive spiral for a while just kinda living in europe off the money he made in college by selling ideas to the military (as his scholarship program was about that) and that’s when he coincidentally meets Valeria again and they start dating again and Valeria does not mind that his face is messed up and as far as I know she is the only woman that’s ever been depicted in this kind of romantic/physical relationship with Victor. And there is a…risque panel (nothing too explicit shown but uh yeah they’re absolutely going at it) in Books of Doom

(I will be choosing to abstain from that panel)

Anyway I just cranked out a 4 page essay response (that is the page number my google doc tells me that I wrote this in like a madwoman) to a tumblr ask and it’s midnight now. I literally wrote this into the next day so if you’re still here um, thanks! I very much appreciate the time it took to read this and I am so sorry this has become such a monstrosity. But also you’re welcome.

I’m going to collapse into bed now. See ya!

–Tin-Can-Iron-Man

P.S. I totally forgot to mention the time he had sex with Morgana Le Fay a lot. also possibly Loki they had a flirty type thing going for a while or something.

P.P.S. Read Books of Doom guys it’s really good

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

If Bella was a boy (with Bella's gift. And he would be ​Edward's singer). What would change? What do you think?

So, I gave a fairly detailed response to this already. The long and short of it being that, depending if Beauford’s the right kind of guy, he and Edward will essentially end up in a romantic relationship neither realizes is romantic. Then Edward eats Beauford at some point.

But, since we’re here, I suppose we can enter imagination land and get into some more details.

Caveat that I haven’t read Life and Death and have no desire to, so we’re actually ignoring some strange alternate universe canon that never made much sense anyway. Shocking, I know, and very unlike this blog.

Beauford Swan and a Kid More Messed Up Than Even Bella Swan

In order for our love story to even start, Beauford has to be the kind of guy that Edward’s into (or can project that he’s into). Well, we know Edward’s into Carlisle (he projects pretty much an idealized version of Carlisle’s personality onto Bella and actively wants to look like Carlisle as to him Carlisle’s is the face of holy perfection while Edward looks like a demon) and given what he says he likes of Bella’s personality we can extrapolate from there.

Edward’s not going to be into an Emmett or anyone remotely resembling Mike Newton. He’s going to be into a quiet, kind, misunderstood, sensative, intellectual who probably looks some level of frail and in need of protection. Essentially, what he saw in Bella, subverting the Madonna complex he has for her a bit (Beauford will be a kind of Madonna, sort of, but not quite so blatant).

So, we have Beauford, who looks a lot like male!Bella and by that I mean he keeps her pale skin, her big dark eyes, and general look about her that she could break with the slightest contact. Basically, he’s a very pretty guy the likes of which typically comes from a shojou anime. He’s also likely still debilitatingly clumsy.

So, you have this guy who’s awful at sports, as in each time he tries he probably ends up in the ICU. Is an intellectual in that he reads old books, an odd amount of Jane Austen at that, but isn’t actually an artist or writer. In fact, other than reading, he has no real hobbies. Has a larger than life mother who constantly needs looking after. And has nothing in common with his peers.

As bad as Bella had it, I posit Beauford would have had it worse. He’s not going to get along with 90% of boys until... probably college. He’s always picked last in kickball, shares 0 interests with most other boys, and is probably ruthlessly bullied for all of this and more. Worse, being so pretty, he’s going to attract a lot of romantic attention, especially from preteen girls who are very into that look and Beauford’s sensitive artistic nature. This is going to get him so much shit from other guys.

Add on top of this Bella’s original difficulty socializing and I imagine Beauford is just as depressed if not more so.

Fast Forward to Forks

Beauford comes to Forks for a similar reasons to Bella, because he felt like a third-wheel in Renee and Phil’s relationship and that his mother was better off without him. I can also see him just not knowing how to act around Phil, who probably expects a stepson who’s more... sonnish. Beauford’s not going to play catch with dad in the yard and I can see Beauford wanting to avoid all of that entirely.

He enters Forks and has a vaguely similarish reception to Bella. Only, there are some key differences.

I imagine Mike, Tylor, and Eric quickly sour on Beauford as he goes from being potentially cool new bro to a guy that can pick up every girl in this school. He’s like the Cullens, but less incestuous and creepy and therefore a thousand times worse. They desperately don’t want Beauford sitting at their lunch table where he can potentially pick up all the babes. 

In other words, Mike is the new Lauren, and Beauford knows it. But it’s either eat with these guys or eat in the bathroom, and Beauford’s not at that level of desperation yet.

Jessica’s probably into him, having been into Edward (another pretty, sensitive, guy), but unlike Bella I imagine Beauford has a little better social intelligence in that he has seen this game before and he knows where it leads. So, he desperately, actively, doesn’t flirt with anyone. Which makes him a terrible conversationalist, and he just comes off as really weird.

Beauford, therefore, actually is a Cullen 2.0. You don’t want to be a Cullen 2.0 (Bella is the only one in that school who thinks the Cullens were in any way popular).

I imagine Edward notices this, plus Jessica’s interest, and gives a Nelson laugh from across the room. Now someone else can have the joys of Jessica Stanley’s lust. Though he does notice he can’t read Beauford’s thoughts, which is strange.

Like Bella, Edward undoubtedly thinks Beauford is at first highly overrated, just like all the other mindless teenagers in Forks, and rather plain (from his narration, Edward likes blondes and lighter eyes). 

The Rest

Biology happens, it’s a disaster, Beauford has no idea what he did to get Edward to loathe him so much but this time Mike isn’t in any way sympathetic. Instead, Mike just can’t believe he and Cullen seem to agree on something for once.

Edward flees to Alaska, decides he won’t lose to Hamburger, and comes back to do damage control. And we start mirroring canon a lot here. Edward has varying conversations with Beauford, is intoxicated by his very scent, and starts projecting an almost saint like personality onto him. Edward grows increasingly obsessed, starts creeping into Beauford’s room at night to protect him from spiders, etc.

The difference being that Edward is utterly convinced that what he and Beauford share is the highest platonic ideal of friendship. They are platonic soulmates, all other friendships pale in comparison to them, they are intellectual peers and artists.

This is even when they still go to the meadow, Edward kidnaps Beauford in Port Angeles for Italian dinner (despite Beaufrod not having been nearly raped without Edward’s intervention), Beauford is invited to the Cullen house, and more.

Beauford, being Bella levels of oblivious, also has no idea this is a romantic relationship. Likely, what he feels at first and is driven by is a strong sense of kinship with Edward. As Edward is also an intellectual outsider hated by the male half of the school. Beauford’s been there, bro. 

However, like Bella with Alice, he appreciates small details of Edward’s vampiric physical appearance, enjoys staring at Edward’s perfect face, and really digs that vampire smell.

I imagine, beyond what happened in Twilight things like the following occur: Edward constantly sketches Beauford in unintentionally (but secretly intentional) erotic positions with no clothes (this is art!), Edward leers at Beauford changing in his bedroom because “we’re both men”, Edward insists on discussing Beauford’s future bride with Beauford and imagines the most perfect woman in the world while also imagining smashing her head in like a melon.

But I imagine most of the Twilight plot points happen. The difference being that everyone is very confused on why these two can’t admit they’re dating. Rosalie probably bringing up very valid points of “Edward, if you want this guy to go date someone else then you can’t monopolize his life” and Edward telling her to stop being so petty and jealous of Beauford’s beauty. Aro, I imagine, just dies in New Moon and has no idea what to say when Beauford returns from the dead because it’s not, “Oh look, the lovers reunited! Ah, right, I forgot, they’re just friends. Yes...” 

The other difference being, as I strongly suspect that without Renesmee Edward would never have turned Bella (Renesmee really forces that issue as Bella actually dies before Edward turns her), that he would have eventually eaten Beauford as Alice predicted.

But he’d be so delicious.

[fallasleepscenarios]

𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓼𝓸𝓶 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓽 [bakugo x reader]

type: one shot, angst, fluff pairing: bakugo katsuki x reader (gender not specified) summary: (Y/N) and Bakugo have not established their relationship, leaving (Y/N) to question their whole "friends with benefits" thing. And it all goes down to what happens when they attend Kirishima's party. rating: R for implication of sexual act word count: 2.4k disclaimer: I do not own any of the mha characters and all of them are written as if they are of age also posted on my wattpad one shots book

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

"You're so silly. Get your butt here."

Bakugo shrugs and pouts angrily but eventually lets his body fall on me and weighing me down on the couch as I try to lift him off me. I laugh at his silliness, knowing that this is the best way someone like him can show affection. He lets his guard down so rarely after all, doesn't even want to show softness, ever. Only with me he does. He can be mellow, can't express it in words easily though.

"Tsk, I don't want to go to the stupid party with all the stupid bastards", he growls while finally making himself comfortable without hurting me.

"You promised! Besides, everyone's waiting for you", I run my fingers through his hair, "You know how much Kirishima has been waiting to see you!" I could tell by his look at this was somehow enough for him to accept attending the party with me. All his UA classmates would be there.

"Whatever! I have to train." In a swift move he gets up and leaves the room, like he always does.

"Bakugo--! Wait!" he stops without turning to look at me. "D-Do you wanna spend the night?" I gulped.

"I have to train", he says and leaves.

And at times like these, I ask myself, what the hell am I really doing. Having a crush on Bakugo Katsuki? That's far enough. Establishing a relationship with him? That's so far beyond the line of sanity. More times than not, I question myself for any signs of emotional masochism, because this really doesn't feel like a mutual feeling. Yes, he can be soft and sweet, would never admit it, though. Yes, somehow, he does like me in a sexual way, at least, or maybe considers me as a way to relieve stress? The past three months and a half have been so exciting, and I've been.. happy. But..

This really isn't enough for me. If only I could do anything to make him say what's in his mind, 'cause his actions really really don't match with his words. And then again, well, whatever, never mind, it could all be way worse for me..

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

On the day of the party, Bakugo was supposed to pick me up at 8 and head over to Kirishima's together, since I've never been to his place before. I put extra effort on picking an outfit I like and felt pretty cute and confident in it. At 7:45 I was already by the door, tying my shoes and receiving a text message by Uraraka-chan.

[19:45] From: Uraraka-chan<3 I can't wait for tonight! Deku-kun will also be there, haven't seen him in two weeks! Don't be late Y/N :D

I smiled at myself and happiness overflew in me. Don't want to jinx it but tonight sounds ideal; Bakugo agreed to come, I'm going to see everyone, even Midoriya found time off his strict training schedule, and Uraraka-chan is very happy, as well, I am glad.

But as I waited for Bakugo, the clock turned 8. And then 5 minutes after 8. And then a quarter past 8.

Normally, that's acceptable, since when one is late, they probably have informed you beforehand. Or at least, an apology is waiting for you at their arrival. Oh, but when Bakugo arrived..

"What took you so long?!!" My mood, the outfit I wore that I liked, the excitement, all had disappeared.

"SO WHAT, I had training to do! Deku has been training all week!", he snapped back at me and frowned. "Let's go damn it!"

"You're unbelievable-! That's how you treat me?!" This time, I was not going to take it.

"Tsk, you don't understand"

"At least you could have told me you were at practice..! Not arrive, what, a quarter to 9 and not even apologizing for keeping me waiting?!"

"YOU attacked me right when I arrived, when I would I apologize?!"

I refrained from saying anything else. I didn't want to completely ruin my mood for the party.

"Okay, stop." I let out a sigh. "Let's go. I really want to enjoy the party. I even wore that outfit that it took me so long to come up with, I really wanna enjoy it.." I closed and locked the door behind us and Bakugo just stared at me.

The road to Kirishima's was quiet. I caught a few glimpses of Bakugo walking by me and leading the way. Surprisingly, he didn't say anything at all. We passed by the river, it was beautiful and I so wanted to comment on the cherry blossoms showing as the path alongside it.

I tried not to overthink about this but it was bothering me, that Bakugo didn't even consider my feelings. He stood me up. This definitely isn't what you expect of your partner to do. Details like this, how he never calls me just to talk to me, he never texts me "good morning" or "good night" like my friends' significant others do, how we've never really agreed to have a proper date but always meet up at home, eat inside and are secretive, I don't like that. I think I am the only one in this relationship.

Heck, there is no real relationship. Friends with benefits, after all.

"(Y/N)! Bakugo-kun! You've arrived at last!" Uraraka-chan was the first one to greet us by the door.

"I'm sorry we're late, I asked Bakugo to pick me up since he lives so close-by, but he was training and couldn't leave early", I felt my cheeks flush up. Everyone's attention was on us and I didn't like it. "Besides, Kirishima-kun! Thanks for having us!"

Thankfully, I quickly felt comfortable and no one talked about how they've been waiting for us. We had a fun time, joking around, eating cakes that Sato baked and listening to what everyone's been up to on their vacation. I was able to forget about Bakugo's attitude, but every time I looked at him, it all came back to me, so I tried to avoid him as much. But still, I was able to catch glimpses of him, noticing that he never looked at me too. I am better than this.

I got up to pout myself some water and when I came back I noticed that Deku had joined Uraraka and they were cheerfully engaging in conversation by themselves, so I decided I wouldn't go back to Uraraka and third wheel them. Instead I decided to get some fresh air and went outside. The cold wind felt so nice on my face but I could tell I'd soon be cold enough to return inside.

"Y/N!", I didn't even hear Kirishima opening the balcony's door.

"Kirishima-kun, are you having fun?"

"For sure! I'm glad you could bring Bakugo with you. Wasn't really sure he'd come, since he's been eager to train as much as he can during the vacation time, but maybe having to accompany you made him responsible to come" Kirishima smiled and he'd never looked so innocent to me before.

"Ah, I just guess he came for you Kirishima-kun. You're his best friend after all."

We laughed and I suddenly felt really soft and comfortable talking about Bakugo with him.

"Kirishima-kun, you're great.. I wish I had a relationship with someone like you!"

And then I realized what I just said. Kirishima turned red and I no longer felt cold outside.

"Y/N, I-I don't think I like you like t-that.."

"Ah! No, it's okay, I don't think I do either.."

What am I saying, I know I like Bakugo.

I know he said he didn't like me but the vibe sure felt weird and tense and somehow comfortable. I could so simply say things like these with Kirishima and it did feel awkward but it was okay, we could sit in silence. And it was easier to stay outside now.

But then he called out my name, and I couldn't read his face. He surely thought that I might like him now. I noticed Bakugo was arguing with Iida-kun by the door, when Kirishima raised his hand to cup my cheek and-

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered.

Why am I not pulling back? Maybe he wants to find out if he'd feel something.. maybe I do as well. Bakugo wouldn't even care anyways. He wouldn't be the least jealous if he saw us.

"Yes", I whispered back and closed my eyes only to feel his soft lips on mine.

It lasted a few seconds but I knew for sure that this wasn't what I felt when I kissed Bakugo. Kirishima was now smiling softly as me and I knew we were on the same page. And this will be between us and nothing will be affected. Except that something caught his attention and he gasped ; I turned to see who else other than Bakugo staring at us.

He looked mad, but doesn't he almost always?

Suddenly I felt overwhelmed with regret towards him.

He wasn't supposed to get jealous, he has no right to!

"Ah, Bakugo saw us maybe", Kirishima shrugged, "He probably thinks we're stupid hahah"

I chuckled, not to make my uncomfortableness look so obvious and we headed back inside, since Bakugo had also disappeared from the entrance.

The rest of the night I felt so out of place and it was hard not to show, but I had to. Spent it mostly chatting with the girls and playing cards and board games.

But soon enough, it was time to go.

Midoriya had already left and so had some of the others that aren't late nighters, and I felt tired from all the tension of the day. I was glad that I had some fun though.

"I'm off, everyone!" I greeted them and put on my shoes and coat.

"I'm going to. Have to train early tomorrow"

I froze. Bakugo was also leaving and this could only mean he wanted to confront me.

I waited for him to be greeted by everyone as well. It was inevitable, we'd go the same way anyways.

But Bakugo didn't say anything. He started pacing fast and it was kind of hard to keep up.

When we reached the cherry blossoms, Bakugo stopped.

"Are you stupid? Why did you do that?!"

He was indeed jealous!

"What does it matter to you even!". Tears were forming in my eyes, I felt so guilty! But it wasn't entirely my fault!

"TO ME? That you're stupid?"

"What does it matter to you??! It didn't even matter to me!"

"Then WHY DID YOU DO THAT"

Bakugo turned around but he wasn't looking at me.

"..I.. don't know... I was curious.. "

"Tsk, 'curious', what even..!"

"I was, okay?! Kirishima was being so nice to me..."

"And you had to be stupid?!"

"STOP it! Okay? This, this is why I did that. Because I can no longer pretend that you care about me! You made that clear today!"

"I don't go around doing things a scumbag would do!"

Bakugo was starting to redden up, he had become really angry..

"BUT YOU DO!" I shouted, glad that we were the only ones on the street. "You do, when you're late and don't inform me, you do when you're embarrassed and secretive of me, you do when you never really tell me what's on your mind"

"You.." he frowned. "And YOU GO AND DO THAT"

"YES because MAYBE, MAYBE HE would actually LIKE me!"

He seemed to be taken aback. And I was properly crying. And I felt the cold wind against my face and hands. It was too bad we're ruining the effect of the beautiful cherry blossoms.

"Stupid.. STUPID STUPID STUPID", he was now pulling his hair in anger.

"Bakugo, stop! What are you doing!" I rushed out and grabbed him by his shoulders forcing him to look at me. And I felt guilty and sad to see him this angry but this had to mean something.

He looked away, avoiding my gaze at all costs.

"I should be asking you why are you being like this now..", I said softly. "It.. hurts to think about this, but did it feel like you were losing towards Kirishima?"

No answer.

"I'm sorry anyways, I am too tired to argue anymore and I'm sorry I kissed him. I.. didn't think it'd make you angry"

"Tsk, what are you apologizing for, loser.."

Bakugo's voice was soft and quiet..!

"I should be the one saying sorry. I FAILED don't you understand? I didn't make my feelings clear to you"

What?

"All this time, I've been failing to this, I don't no a thing about romance"

What?

"And you never even said anything, either! You just went along when I first kissed you!"

I had nothing to say. Suddenly, everything seemed so meaningless, because he was opening up to me.

"Bakugo.."

"No, shut up, you listen to me now. It drives me crazy cause I can't concentrate and think about you all the time! I LIKE YOUR STUPID ASS"

This can't be for real. I've always wanted him to open up but I never..

"SAY SOMETHING"

"Can you.. say that again?", I was too startled.

"Weren't you listening?!"

"No, I was, it's just that I liked hearing you say that.."

I'd forgotten I'd been holding him weirdly and suddenly felt conscious about being so close to him, when I've been closer to him so many times before, but not like this.

"Tsk, I like you stupid ass, stupid", he frowned jokingly and it was his turn to wrap his arms around me. "I like your stupid stupid ass."

My cheeks have probably never flushed as this much before.

"I like you"

He kept repeating and I felt like I could faint.

"And I promise, I won't ignore my feelings anymore and I won't be USELESS!"

I backed away to look at him.

"Bakugo,.. does this mean, we're really together?"

And Bakugo blushed!

"Yeh" he simply said.

I couldn't help but smile and the cherry blossoms were beautiful around us.

Then, Bakugo tightened his grip on my waist and brought me closer. He kissed my cheek and looked at me again. And I couldn't decide over staring at his eyes or kissing him that moment.

But I couldn't bring myself to stop, I leaned forwards and felt his soft pouty lips against mine, his warmth transmitting to my skin. And we didn't pull back for a few moments.

"Do you want to stay over, Bakugo?"

And he nodded excitedly as we walked home together.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

[creativeashproductions]

We Wouldn’t Be Us // Charlie Gillespie

IN WHICH: We get a look into the timeline of the reader and Charlie’s relationship from the first date that wasn’t so perfect to the news they get. The relationship has its ups and downs like all relationships do but this one brings the birth of a song. They know in their relationship that anything less just wouldn’t be them

Warnings: Swearing, an argument, allusion to sex (NO SMUT), pure fluff

Words: 3.1k

A/N: I suppose this is an entry for @cherrymaybank​’s Valentine’s Day Fic Challenge. 

Based on the song We Wouldn’t Be Us by Alexandra Kay

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

Every dress didn’t seem to fit properly no matter what mirror with different light in your apartment you tried. The spare bathroom’s bulb was dying, so that made the colour appear off, and the best mirror was dirty, which would dampen the romantic goal. Nothing made you feel that oomph that you desired for this date. 

You could wear the standby little black dress of which you had two options, the clubbing one or the work appropriate one. It didn’t seem right to choose a standard black and no colour for this insanely sweet guy that had this insane energy. With that thought in mind, you dug deeper in your closet for that special dress that you’d never found someone worthy of it. It was your best dress and your most expensive with the tags still on. You would have gone for the maroon dress but it was Valentine’s Day and that seemed like over kill.

Somehow it still fit perfectly despite the length of time from purchase, it was a vibrant green satin with lace matching the colour. The dress's satin ended just below the knee with the matching lace falling an additional six inches past. The A-line skirt was loose flowing contrasting to the form-fitting material across your bust and midsection. 

One of your favourite parts of the dress was the off-shoulder bateau neckline that gave a tasteful sneak of your cleavage. The bottom of the thick straps came to make a perfectly straight horizontal line. Across your waist was a one-inch wide satin ribbon attached to the dress that formed a perfect bow that tied the outfit together, no pun intended.

“Whoa.” You breathed stepping in front of the floor-length mirror kept in the spare bedroom, it had once been your roommates’ room before she moved.

You had to admit the dress was magical with it, bringing out all your curves and went with your skin tone. It was a pure shock to see how you managed to make the dress come to life with just a makeup look that was easy to do. All you did next was your favourite beige heels that went with everything. You had just slid on the left heel when the buzzer sounded and slid the right on as you hit the button unlocking the apartment building door.

“This is going to be perfect.” You breathed leaning into the mirror beside the front door. You inspected your lipstick as a knock sounded on the dark brown wood of your door. 

“You look gorgeous.” Your date breathed, widening those colour changing irises as he took in your outfit, “You take my breath away. Happy Valentine’s Day”

Your cheeks flushed, “Thank you, Charlie.”

He stepped into the apartment as you quickly went to the kitchen to grab your coat and purse with your essentials. He had gently retrieved the coat from your arms to help you into the cold jacket. 

“I know traditionally I would have brought you flowers, but I also know you love books.” Charlie breathed grasping the items in his hands, “So I got these flowers.”

His warm hands held three books. The top one was The Orchid House by Lucinda Riley with a cover that had the background blurry with only the back of a girl in clarity. The girl’s pink dress matching the flower in the upper corner of the book. The next cover proudly displayed The Rose Garden by Susanna Kearsley with red flowers growing down on a stone building. The third one was a light pink book with an anatomically correct heart with flowers growing out of the arteries, veins and valves; a collection of poetry I Saw You As a Flower by Ellen Everett. Lastly, you held Rupi Kaur’s second collection of poetry The Sun and her Flowers that had come out a couple years ago.

“Charlie, this is so thoughtful. You even has a rose one!” You breathlessly spoke gently touching the covers, “Thank you so much for these.”

“I thought we could read them together?” Charlie was bashful as he quietly asked with flushed cheeks. He didn’t know why he felt like this was his very first date all over again.

“I’d love that.” You softly told the Canadian with the manners a mother would be jealous to have in her home. Charlie’s fingers linked with yours as he tugged you out of the apartment into the hallway.

Your hands swung during the short walk from the apartment building to his bright orange Subaru across the street. The sound of the light wind rustling the trees lining the sidewalk mixed with the humming from Charlie was a perfect film score. He was the ideal gentleman even before he asked you out.

You couldn’t wait to tell your close loved ones about Charlie. You could really see this going somewhere. The relationship that is, as you were now on the side of a road with the Subaru’s hazard lights flashing.

“I forgot to fill the tank.” Charlie moaned, pressing his forehead against the steering wheel. His eyes clenched just as tight as his fists.

The Canadian was so embarrassed to have had what he thought was the best date of his life. He’d played music from the playlist he had patiently curated specifically for this date, and he held your hand to the restaurant. He’d already made plans for another date when his car’s warning beeped.

In Charlie’s haste, he’d forgotten to fuel up his car, so here he was with the prettiest person he’d ever seen in his passenger seat. His confidence in a second date had greatly diminished.

“Char, you said Owen was on his way. There isn’t anyone else I’d prefer to be stranded with. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I wanted this date to go perfect. This is my first Valentine’s Day with someone.” Charlie admitted turning his head to stare into warm pools of your e/y colours. His eyes scanned the soft smile that appeared on your face as his confession, “I had this whole thing planned out, and now you definitely won’t want a second-”

“I’m gonna kiss you. If you don’t want that, let me know.” You murmured before pulling him in for what would be the best kiss of your life thus far.

Sure his car broke down, but you kissed him anyway. He tasted of the complimentary chocolate dessert from dinner.

A Year Later

A young, admittedly broke couple sat on the cold floor of the unpacked kitchen eating SpaghettiOs. You had only just moved into the studio apartment with Charlie that had drained most of your savings. Had it not been in a decently safe area in the city and a close commute you would have said no.

But it was the perfect starting place for you two as you both were unfamiliar with living with an SO. It sucked on each of your ends to not have a better situation, Charlie wanted nothing more than to spoil you on the first day living together. Unfortunately, it wasn’t possible but sitting on the floor with a cheap candle was imperfectly perfect.

“I’m sorry we’re eating out of cans.” Charlie whispered pointedly, keeping his eyes on the spoon, stirring the red sauce with the beige circles.

“Char this is perfect. As long as it’s you and I then anything is perfect. Besides we didn’t label the boxes, I have no idea which box has our kitchenware.” You admitted glancing at the boxes boarding the edge of the room. 

You ate out of cans for at least a week before you had unpacked the kitchen and had the means to buy actual groceries. Living together thus far had been going super smooth until wasn’t.

It was a bad day on both your parts, your entire work was deleted after a computer glitch. Charlie had auditioned for a role he had been really really wanting since he heard about it. Your father came down with the flu axing the plans to meet for dinner; it would have been the first time in six months you saw him in person.

The apartment's atmosphere had been rising and very volatile by mid-afternoon when Charlie blatantly forgot a deal. If he was going to play music, it had to be in the study so you could focus on your work. 

Today he’d decided to be in close vicinity to have a virtual jam session with both Owen and Jeremy. He’d chosen the room you were in solely because it had the best wifi reception which you needed as well.

“Charlie, please can you go to the study? I’m trying to finish this!” You cried out as he struck a chord on the electric. His eyebrows came other in the glare he sent you, “I lost all my work last night.”

“The guys and I are working on songs-”

“-Charlie, this is due tonight. I can’t concentrate with-”

“It’s not my fault you have a shitty attention span!” Charlie angrily snapped contradicting the gentle touch on his guitar. He placed it back on the stand to not accidentally damage it, “The wifi is best in this room.”

“I’m very much aware of that Charlie. Out of the two of us, I use it the most. Can you please either move to the study or at least wait an hour so I can finish?” You pleaded with the Canadian actor ignoring the two guys on the computer silently waiting for the fight to be over.

“Why can't you mov-”

“Fine. I will.” You fully stared down your boyfriend for a full five seconds before you harshly closed the top of your computer. It took seconds to gather your work stuff into the leather satchel you stored the computer in, “You didn’t even mute the call.”

Charlie watched as you swiftly pulled on your jacket, “Babe-”

The sound of the door slamming shut cut his sentence before he even had a chance to speak his thoughts. The apartment was eerily silent compared to the sounds of music that always played through the Bluetooth speaker.

The inspiration to play evaporated with the aftermath of a stupid argument permeated the apartment typically filled with love. All three actors quietly said their goodbyes before they ended the video call.

You spent an hour uncomfortably sitting in a cafe finishing up what you’d needed to finish with the argument replaying. Your finger barely hit the button to send the email before you had already stepped outside the business. You spent the walk struggling to draft a text to your boyfriend. 

It didn’t matter because when you walked into the apartment, you heard the soft song you’d both deemed yours. It was cheesy, but that was part of Charlie’s charm. Speaking of your boyfriend, he was sat on the floor of your kitchen with matching mugs of brownies.

“I’m sorry. I was insensitive.” Charlie started as soon as your jacket was draped over one of the kitchen chairs. His usually wide smile was as bashful as the one he’d worn on the night of your first date.

“No I’m sorry, Charlie. I could have easily put on my headphones or moved to the bedroom for a bit. The fight was stupid, and I love you so much that sometimes I think I take you for granted. I mean, look at you! You made the brownie cups-”

“Even sitting on the cold floor like when we moved in.” Charlie cheekily inserted, reaching over to hold your hands in his, “I like our tradition. I definitely like how we upgraded from SpaghettiOs to brownies.”

“Me too.” You breathed leaning over to press a lingering kiss on his lips. His hands delving into your hair to keep you close.

The butterflies stormed your stomach as the heat slowly inflated from your toes until it reached your flushing cheeks. Raw emotion pouring into the passionate kiss that only closed down as you broke for air. But you also went back in as that warmth slowly built in your tummies. Charlie’s eyes marginally opened to ensure he wasn’t imagining the Angel he got to kiss.

Finally, with heavy breathing, you pulled apart, but only a fleeting moment froze the time in the apartment. For, as soon as Charlie caught your dilated pupils, his one hand cupped the back of your hand, fingers tangled in your h/c tresses. 

Soon enough, you were making up on the kitchen floor with each article of clothing tossed in the vicinity. A shirt landed on the kitchen sink spout. The brownie mugs forgotten as you gave into the passion with your boyfriend. Your lovemaking had you missing supper.

Charlie’s solution was a trip to the local authentic English pub founded by a nice guy from London. You never failed to stop him for a dance in the empty street as his smooth voice gave music for smooth motions. Dancing was a common thing from pulling off the road in Dieppe to dance. You drank and danced at the pub until Jack cut you off at 2am as his pub rules had.

You and Charlie just laughed in a love bubble as the real-world worries faded because you always came together in the rough times.

Months later you returned to Dieppe with Charlie to spend the holidays with them. The entire family together creating such a welcoming atmosphere.

“I’m gonna grab a glass of water.” You informed the group of gals ad non-binary pals who had gathered in Meghan’s bedroom. The group had decided to sleep over Meg’s childhood room with face masks, nail polish and lovely wine.

Meg and Jeannette both nodded to acknowledge your announcement before they returned to their respective conversations. You took a moment to take in the great group of Gillespie and Co you had the honour to be part of. The thirst was only temporarily forgotten in the happy bubble you found yourself in.

You practically skipped to the kitchen, barely noticing the two people in the living room, but their words stopped you in your tracks. Your boyfriend, Charlie Gillespie, stood close to his older brothers Ryan, Patrick and Michael.

“I’m gonna ask her to marry-” Charlie caught himself from finishing the sentence when he saw you standing pale-faced at the opening into the living room.

His entire body was encapsulated by the lights casting in the living room from the Christmas tree. The tree couldn’t hold a candle to the ring of your dreams that promptly had you bursting into tears.

“I RUINED THE SURPRISE!” You sobbed dropping your face into your cold hands, avoiding the gaze of the Gillespie brothers. Had you not been hiding in your hands you would have known the older three had vacated the room.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Charlie cooed with the ring safely put away in the box he had shoved back in his pocket, “You didn’t ruin the surprise. I shouldn’t have been telling my brothers in the middle of the living room.”

Charlie’s warm hands slowly pulled your hands from your soft post-mask skin with such a pretty healthy glow. He could see the remnants of the mask on the edge of your scalp, but it didn’t take away from your beauty.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, staring up at him from underneath your eyelashes. The soft hazel eyes not upset in the least, things often didn’t go the way you wanted to together.

Take the first date from over two years ago where you and Charlie had waited for Owen to meet you with a jug of gas. You’d shared childhood stories and future dreams. Or the time you hadn’t marked the boxes creating an entire week of eating out of cans and cartons.

Ruining the proposal was almost expected at this rate.

“I knew from the moment I saw you in that emerald dress I knew that you were the One for me. I’ve adored each moment I’ve gotten with you from the spontaneous dances on the side of the road. To bursting into song in the middle of the street.” Charlie shakily started with sweating bands but an open heart, “When your best friend told me the emerald dress was the special one, it melted my heart.”

“Charlie.”

“Other than my belief that this relationship will last, I was only ever sure of one thing in my life. I was sure I would be an actor, but now I’m more sure that my favourite role will be supporting you, loving you and evolving with you as your husband.” Charlie sniffled, taking one hand from yours to wipe the tears flooding his cheeks, “Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” You breathed lunging on your tiptoes to kiss him with as much passion as you could. Your hands caressed the skin of his cheeks; his long tresses tickling your wrists.

“God I love you.” Charlie gushed with a gentle shake of his head. His hazel pinned to your e/c eyes as if you were the most precious gem in the world.

A voice cut the bubble enveloping you, “Well are you gonna put the ring on her finger or what?”

Charlie’s head moved to meet the teary eyes of his mother surrounded by his siblings as they bounced on their feet. You laughed as your now fiance clumsily rushed to slide the absolutely gorgeous ring on your finger. 

“Welcome to the family officially.” Jeannette cheered along with the celebratory whistles and yells as the crowd of the family grew more and more. Soon enough, the entire room was overflowing with people congratulating your new engagement.

Months later, you stood in front of that same group holding the hands of your handsome fiance. Both dressed to the nines in front of the officiant.

“I wasn’t looking for a fairytale, because they all end the same. The princess has a conflict that she revolves with the help of the prince. They get married and live happily ever after. I adore how we’re writing our own story that fits our relationship. Charlie Gillespie, I wouldn’t change a thing about our lives. I wouldn’t have it any other way even with the fighting and slamming doors, but we always end up on our kitchen floor making up with two brownies in mugs.” Your vows brought tears among the onlookers along with the Canadian barely keeping it together.

The vows would later be eloquently transformed into lyrics from you with the accompanying melody provided by Charlie. On Valentine’s Day, you played the song on the kitchen floor with a plate of brownies. Three brownies waiting to be devoured.

“Three for each of us.” You wept as you watched as Charlie melted into a puddle of joyful tears. He took no time in placing his hand over your flat stomach.

Yeah, you wouldn’t have it any other way. Especially when Valentine’s Day become more to the Gillespie family; a new little love taking up the day.

(Reader’s Dress In Beginning)

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