#god i lvoe women

[sga-owns-my-soul]

had a milf come through my till today at work and i asked her if she needed a hand out with her bag of food

"no i can bench press my car. this is nothing"

M A ' A M can you please crush my skull with your bare hands

[ruthytwoshakes]

Pinkie pie posting?! More likely than you think !! She’s such a skater I love her so much <333 @punkitt-is-here made this lovely design of her! (I gave her some armpit hair because uhhhhh)

[iiota]

ok i finally finished the great ace attorney for real and my conclusion is if they ever successfully do this lawyer shit with two women? lighting myself on fire immediately

good fucking game though

[loftwinglullaby]

wow thank you so much

[gay-otlc]

Women’s hockey I’m so in love with women

WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN

[ovaruling]

i rly rly rly rly hate being tall lol

[holidaywithahobbyist]

they made girlfriends so that you have someone who still wants to kiss you after you keep saying uwah over and over and lose your mind on call

[alittleemo]

also forgot to say i lvoe you suni lee holyyy shit !!

[stuffforme2]

Okay listen I lvoe the pjo books and series with all ym heart but.. everyone talks about them like they're perfect WHICH THEYRE NOT any problems are kinda brushed under the rug and I find thst kinda werid? Like you'll see other books and TV shows get dragged and canceled for the stuff in Riordan books and yet pjo doesn't?? So.. uhhHHHH yeah that's jsut something I noticed.

The weird relationshipd ynamics. Rick is like allergic to someone bring okay with being single or jsut aromantic like you can say Reyna but her having a crush kn Jason?? Yes she rejected Apollo but her relationship with Jason deterioted brcuz she had a 'crush' on the guy and that doesn't really amke sense to me (I can go into so much detail kn this)

AND LEO AND CALYPSO OMFG that is a toxic relationship. The age gap. The way calypso treats Leo. The fact Leo SHOULD NOT be with someone like this man hasn't dealt with his attachment and Abandonment issues like st all?!

The literal only black character in the pjo books being beckendorf.. then he dies. Then the Korean/Asian (I'm not sure sorry) character dies, Ethan. And like I understand Percy is hinted st being Hispanic (have seen many ppl talk about this dont mnow if it's common knowldhe) but it's never confirmed or added??? I know Rick fixes it later but it's still weird to me lmaoo

Rick unable to keep consistent personality. Woobigying Nico OH MY GOD NICO HE BECOMES GAY AND THSTS WHDT EVERYONE FUCKING FOCUSES ON AND HE SHOULD'VE NEVER GOTTEN WITH WILL ATLWAST NOT THAT QUICK it's not healthy. Their relationship was rushed and didn't make sense I felt like people only like ot becuz it's a gay relationship??

And oh mygods— Samirah. I am not Muslim and I am not an expert on the Nuslim religion but there is so much shitbthatbeas wrong in thst book that I even knew was incorrect and jsut weird to happen?! The AMOUNT OF TIMES HER HIJAB CAME OFF and I'm also like "yaayyyy representation" but it could've been as easy as one Google search. one.

Jason. Jason as a whole. He had the most potential out of ANYONE and personally I think he had more potential then Percy like his story is so INTERESTING and then.. Rick knocked him iut with a brick multiple times, didn't work kn his sotry or trauma at all, then KILLED HIM. Same with Ethan. I am so Vitter about these two.. HELL EVEN LEO AND FRANK.

Also the way he made Annabeth first quest (first quest SHE IS LEADING AND IS HER PROHECY) all about Percy. I was reading it and I was like "bitxh— this is Annabeth Quest?!" LIKE he it pissed me off that Annabeth was swept to rhe side as Percy's lvoe interest giving her knly enough personality and stary to make her jnteredting enough to eb loved but never delving jntk it into Mark kf Athena and even at Mark of Athena it all rounded back tk her and Percy's relationship LIKE JESUS CHRIST DO THESE MFERS PASS THE BELLDAN TEST?!

The low key incest at the beginning ricj writing that all the demigods had the same impish features at rhe start and then.. jsut.. CHSNGING IT?!

Not letting a virgin goddess who has no history of having children have.. children.. NOW you may be wondering 'but then how would we get Annabeth?'— JUST GiVE ATHENA HER FAVOURITE CHOSEN PPL LIKE SHE DID WITH ODYSSEUS let her stay childless. Jsut let her choose some children she'd like as hers wonce they're Bron and she then blesses them as her heroes, that's how she treats them any way and it also gets rid of the incest?!

Also the fact it's implied that Annabeth is only smart becuz she's a child of Athena.. Rick made a virgin goddess technically have children so he can have a smart women character and that's just.. EuGGHHhHHh JUST LET HER BE SMART IT NOT THAT HARD "Oh, no, I'm not smart because Athena chose me.. Athena chose me because I was already smart" Smacks you with common fucking sense.

Also Annabeth ALWAYS needing to eb saves and its always done by a man. OMFG AND GROVES GF DHE HAS NO PERSONALITY OUTSIDE OF BEING SOEM GUSY GF EVEN THOUGH HES GONE FOR MKNTHS AND BAREKY CONTAXTS HER?!

The whole apheodite cabin. The whole aphrodite cabin. The whole aphrodite cabin.

The fact it's clear Rick doesn't think girly girls cant be strong or into fighting or able to wield a fuckign weapon. The way he makes nearly every girly girl into a total mean bitch or ruins their characters.

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

Pale Goblins (and friends) as dril tweets

Cherrypop: just found out about Object Permanence… why didnt any one tell me about this shit

Biscuit: drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not,

Flopsy: awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far

Sporghog: sending my most powerful kisses to all pregnant women fire fighers

America: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

Bagnut: oh you say you’re going to fuck me? you’re going to try to fuck me, through the computer? Well i say this, and that is “Game on”

Peckersnot: the only A+ i ever got was from that time in art class when i drew venus & serena willaims clobbering the. shit out of me with their rackets

Doglick: how do i get cowboy paint off a dog

Tatty Bo Jangles: “jail isnt real,” i assure myself as i close my eyes and ram the hallmark gift shop with my shitty bronco

Ramjam: i lvoe and cherish all of the girls of this site, and other websites.  you all become my wife more and more with each passing day. Thank you

Gashwad: id love to get attacked by a bird. id love for a bird to try to fight me. id love to smash it to bits with my bare hands.

Toadswallow: i regret to inform you, that by resorting to Swear language, you have forfeit this debate. Farewell my bitch

Snatchragged: if a sniper shot me i owuld run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in melee fight

Bubbleyum: what would you do if i unlocked 100% of my true brain?  Nothing. you would be fucked

Lewdtube: do not be afraid to talk to that lonely boy on the train … with the rosy red cheeks, sun glasses & big cigar… he just mmight be… angel

Bluntmunch: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

Kittycough: two handfuls of kitty litter taken from the beautiful hollywood home of sports broadcaster Dick Vitale , for $100 or best offer

Breastbiter the Chonk: joke’s on you; i actually love being body slammed by one dozen perfect wrestlers. and my mouth isn��t filled with bloodm, it’s victory wine

Liberty: DOCTOR: you cant keep doing this to yourself. being The Last True Good Boy online will destroy you. you must stop posting with honor ME: No,

Slaygarrrrrr Who Slavishly Slays: my name is “ GAMER FUCKER ” and i was sent to FUCK all the gamers…

Flopsy (again): awfully bold of you to retweet my “bad year” tweet on a year that has been extremely good thus far

Avery: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian .

Snowdrop: Im the only man here who injects himself with a CIA Grade Truth Serum before each and every post i make. Remember only that

[prophecyofgray]

70% done with a beautifully foolish endeavor and god. Man. Fuck. i lvoe when stories are about humanity being complex and flawed but resoundingly good and entirely worth saving. and also theres gay people. gay women even.

[ntls-24722]

So i yassified (very slightly, more like redrew) These Two from the last post

Also, freakily enough, Camel spider bartender actually has silicone "skin" and hair on its face and abdomen, so it feels organic. For no reason other than gross factor. It works

Also, pseudoscopion windup! They work alongside the schizomida freaks and are generally stronger, and aren't as populous as the schizomida ones.

THIS RICINULEI ONE, WHICH, OH MY GOD. WHY WAS I NEVER INFORMED OF THESE CUTIE PATOOTIES.

LOOK AT THEM THEY LOOK LIKE IF A WEEVIL AND A SPIDER HAD A BABY!!! ITS GOT BOOTS ON!!! colloquial name for em are hooded tickspiders and despite their name they aren't bloodsuckers just unfortunately named, and they don't have eyes, which is why this guy has constantly closed eyes. I lvoe him so so much. he was inspired by koalas and Uncle Klunk from showbiz pizza, thank you garf for introducing me to Klunk.

I think he and DJMM would be good friends not just because they're both very spiderlike but also because he's not very popular in comparison to the rest of the cast.

DJMM DELUXE!

Many of his improvements are very based on their restaurant location, as DJMM deluxe is one of the few who are not up for auction. He coordinates shows and oftentimes is on the design team for just about anything in the restaurant, be it a seasonal theme or new, upcoming feature. That and he actually produces "silk!"

He's based on habronattus clypeatus, a paradise spider, ones that dazzle their women with their hairy, colorful armpits. Cool!

big gallery of adult forms of almost every species in habronattus

More salt to DJMM's wound but DJMM was actually very popular when he was in the restaurant (partially because he was the most recognizable arachnid, yknow, an actual spider) and when he was sold there was a lot of demand for him to be back, and because of that demand he was hoping that he just might have a chance of getting out of the plex just due to the nostalgia of the original DJMM not being there.

And then Deluxe was made.

And because Deluxe was made, there's not only no chance of him getting back, but there's also now no place for him even if he did get back.

[troloyunu]

IM SORRY IF THIS IS WEIRD BUT I LITERALLY LVOE YOUR ART SO. MUCH . LIKE ITS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THIGNS EVER AND I LOVE HOW YOU HIGHLIGHT WLW COUPELS AND WOMEN IN GENERAL AND I LOVE YOUR ARTSTYLE AND THE SPARKLES AND EVEYRHTIGN ABOUT IT !!!!!! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOUVE EVER MADE

OH MY GOD ITS NOT WEIRD AT ALL THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER THANK YOU SO MUCHHHHHHH AUUGGHH you literally came through w this bc im in the middle of this art block where i want to draw a lot, and i do draw a lot, but nothing i draw looks good to me so thank you this is a huge motivation. AND OFC if wlw has a million artists im one of them, if wlw has one artist im them, if wlw has no artists left i have died etc etc i will always continue serving the yuri nation o7 o7 o7 thank you again for your kind words you are so very sweet hope you have a great day/night mwah ❤️❤️❤️

[luthien-under-bough]

signature - Daemon Targaryen x Rhaenyra Targaryen

Not Rated, 1225 words, Text fic, Prompt Fic, Modern AU

Summary:

Daemon gets drunk on a boys' night out - and decides to demonstrate his love for Rhaenyra in a rather permanent way.

Written for the HotD Summer Snippets & Stories prompt event.

Prompt word: signature

Italics is Daemon Bold is Rhaenyra

friday, 3:45pm

do i have to go yes rather stay home with you im not staying home im going out with laena ;) you know what i mean brat oh stop, you’ll have fun plus laenor and the boys need an old man to show them how it’s done im having 3 drinks max then im coming home whatever you say, love and dont think ill forget that 'old' comment youll pay for that later oh im counting on it :) now get back to work!

friday, 6:00pm

how do i look? [ATTACHMENT: (1) IMAGE] oh fuck you are you SURE i cant convince you stay home?? 0:) have fun old man xx

friday, 7:14pm

im the only one here why is no one ever on time being early is very uncool im not early! im punctual! if youre on time youre early need to be at least 15 min late im rolling my eyes so hard right now oh heres laenor and harwin finally laenor is already pissed LOL laena says hi [ATTACHMENT: (1) IMAGE] tell laena she needs to teach her brother how to hold his liquor

friday, 8:10pm

this pub smells like piss and regret im too old for this shit loosen up baby take a couple shots cant even remember the last time i did a shot all the more reason to do one! youre a bad influence i learned from my uncle ;) your uncle sounds hot oh he is he does shots, too does he? mmhm cmon, ill send a pic of my tits if you do

friday, 8:16pm

[ATTACHMENT: (1) IMAGE] atta boy believe im owed a tit two, even patience!

friday, 8:21pm

[ATTACHMENT: (3) IMAGES] fuck now im hard prove it

friday, 8:25pm

[ATTACHMENT: (2) IMAGES] mm maybe i shouldve stayed home still time ditch laena say the word ill leave right now think i like the idea of u having a wank in a pub bathroom instead fucking tease yeah. what are you gonna do abt it? :) adding to the list of things to punish you for fair i deserve a firm spanking ;) youll get more than that

friday, 9:11pm

well?? did u cum? in the bloody bathroom stall? im not an animal rhaenyra tsk tsk wheres ur sense of adventure come here and ill show you wouldnt dream of crashing boys night what if i beg i do like when u beg so is that a yes...? have another drink ;) youll regret saying that when youre holding my hair back later

friday, 9:57pm

kept doing shots terrible idea think im drunk now thats the spirit! harwin wants to go to a strip club have a lapdance i like when u come home all riled up ;) dont need a lapdance for that can just look at that pic of your tits again flatterer its true. best tits in all of westeros what abt essos? dont be greedy :'(ok ok best tits in all of essos too. and sothoryos and ulthos while were at it thats more like it :)

friday, 10:46pm

see8ng naked women ujst mkes me miss you :(( aww <3 how drunk are you?? lmao im serous tour so beuatiful i miss you[MISSED CALL: ♡Daemon♡]

friday, 10:48pm

sry love too loud here were at karaoke im up next gonna sing You're So Vain is rhat about me i bet you think so ;)

friday, 11:53pm

awful quiet over there u still alive? YES yes sintbe a brat Have s durprise for you layer oh gods laena just dropped me off heading to bed xx naked??? of course probe it

saturday, 12:02am

[ATTACHMENT: (3) IMAGES] i lvoe toy youre so fuscking hot sexiedt woman on esrth goodnight&lt;3

saturday, 1:40am

[MISSED CALL: ♡Daemon♡]

saturday, 1:41am

[MISSED CALL: ♡Daemon♡]

saturday, 1:42am

[MISSED CALL: ♡Daemon♡]

saturday, 1:45am

[ATTACHMENT: (2) IMAGES] WHAT IS THAT DAEMON! OMG ??? i love you baby xxxx i love you somuh much oh my god hahahaah you are going to be SO MAD at yourself tomorrow

saturday, 12:04pm

"About time you woke up. Thought you were dead." Daemon squints, the light sending a blinding pulse of pain directly between his eyes. He can barely lift his head, but he can see just enough to know he somehow made it into his own bed. His head is swimming, his mouth tastes like an ashtray, and he can tell by the way the sheets rub against him that he's completely naked. Beside him, slightly blurred, is Rhaenyra, wearing an undeniably smug grin. "How did I—" "Harwin poured you out of a cab around three a.m."  Harwin. Right. Boys' night with Harwin and Laenor. "Fucking hells, I drank way too much," Daemon groans, shoving his face back into the pillows. "That's not all you did," Rhaenyra says cryptically. Daemon lifts his head, craning his neck to get another look at Rhaenyra. She's smiling broadly, pointing a finger vaguely in the direction of his back. That's when he's hit with a stinging surge of pain in his lower back. Oh shit. Oh fuck.  "Don't worry, love. I took a photo. The ones you sent me were rather blurry."  Rhaenyra holds up her phone, right in front of his face. He blinks a few times, praying that each one might resest his brain and reveal that he's just imagining it—but the tingling sensation tells him it's very much real. A tattoo, right about his ass, in large, curling script: Rhaenyra "Oh my god." "That's what I said," Rhaenyra says. Daemon groans. Pieces of the night return to him in flashes: doing that first shot, then another, then another. Several anothers later and they were at a strip club. Somewhere around their third bottle of Veuve Clicquot, Daemon became convinced that he simply must get a tattoo in honor of Rhaenyra. And Laenor and Harwin apparently did nothing to talk him out of it. "What I'd like to know," Rhaenyra says, unable to keep the giddiness from her voice. "Is where you got my signature from? It's a perfect likeness."  That memory returns to him, too. A fragmented image of him waving a dinner receipt around like a lunatic. He sighs loudly. "I had a receipt in my wallet. From when we went to that Dornish restaurant. You paid." Rhaenyra laughs wickedly. "Oh, I can only imagine what it would have looked like had you not had a reference on hand."  "I'm going to kill Harwin," Daemon mutters. Rhaenyra sinks down beside him, stroking him lightly along his spine, careful not to disturb his fresh ink.  "Oh, come now. I rather like it." Daemon turns his head to the side to narrow his gaze at her. "You do not." "I do!" she insists, her eyes sparkling. "It's sweet. You love me so much you're willing to permanently disfigure yourself. Quite romantic, honestly."  Daemon can't help but laugh. "Suppose I'll keep it, then." "Yes, you have to. How else will the whole world know that you're mine?" Daemon reaches out to cup Rhaenyra's face. His beautiful wife. He strokes her cheek, and her smile outshines any other thought or feeling rattling around in his head. "In that case, it's only fair..." he trails off, raising an eyebrow. "What?" "You'll just have to get one to match." 

[ao3 link]

*banner by wandanatromanova

[astralmarionette]

THIUGHTS ON THE GUILD GO! I loved them sm they were my fav faction and all the characters make me deeply insane I am WAITING for them to come back they have to asagiri set up too many plot points not to bring them back. Sigh. my favs r lucy n poe n mitchell n hawthorne n steinbeck but I like all of them

Omg omg okay i LOVE thr Guild I spent like 30 minutes last night trying to predict the different Guild members because Autism. (I FUCKING LOOKED UP MARk TWAIN BC I WAS LIKE U CANT HAVE AMRRICAN AUTHORS AN NOT HAVE MARKY YKW??? LIKE HES LItERALLY BROUGHT UP IN EVERY SINGLE LIT CLASS IN AMERICA BRO and nothing came up OU IM SO MAD)

BTW, I tend to use a first name basis with authors btw theyre actually all my best friends i know them on a deeper level (my mom said that i need to seek help today, this is what happens when all yr friendships are superficial as a kid methinks)

anyways. here are my thoughts:

Mr Francy Pants (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald): i wasn't too opinionated on him til I learned his ability (like i said we need to stop letting white ppl get rich bro...) and then i was like i need this guy dead and then i learned his motive and i was like oh my god hes literally just a guy he wants nothing but to mAKE HIS WIFE HAPPY OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so he slays actaully i hope hes alive :((

Louisa May Alcott: LOMLLLLLLLL i love little women so im extremely bias towards her but wtv when Francis was going on his lil rant abt owning her and everything i was like woah now careful abt how you speak to my girl

Nathaniel: Lord....forgive me...... HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FINE OH my GODDDD Nathaniel was made for the girlies with complicated relationships with religion i fear (ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME )

Margaret: love me a woman who dresses like that okay but im fairly certain the actual woman was racist soooo kinda mixed feelings?? but the character is amazing and perfect (ignoring the restoring her family's honor.........) and i actually loved her accent lol it was southern enough to be southern but not too southern to be fake lol southern accents actaully arent always there for my area lol they come and go and are stronger when angry/ come out stronger on certain words or phrases loll

Lucy: OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH seeing that she got caught PAINED ME LIKE NOOOO ATSU WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO GO AND SAVE HER BUT NOW I FEAR HES FORGOTTEN IN ALL THE EVERYTHING GOIONG ON OUGHHHHHHHHHH

Anne is SOOO Cutie Pie too btw and I love that one she looks like Anne of Green Gables (obvi) BUT ALSO Raggedy Anns!!!!!

Marky Mark: HES SO CUTE ACTUALLY ???? I love his "im just here for the fun of it" attitude that was rlly nice AND HUCK AND TOM ARE SOOOO CUTE and i love the fact that hes a gunsmith despite im pretty sure the book characters he brought to life and real life author being like these scrappy lil southern boys lolll i like that they didnt go the kenji route with him and have him be like a (read this in a southern accent btw) lil farmer boy with good intentions for everyone :D type character !!!!!! love him 10/10 scrunkly

John Steinbeck: his grape thing freaked me the fuck out the first time he did it i was so thoroughly gagged like...... hes cute but in term of design he and Francy look soo similar I got tired of these basic ass white men sorry TvT (looking at them made me feel like i was watching hetalia again LMAOOO) hes scrunkly poo too tho and i love his quirk (mha gagged with quirk im sooo sorry)

Lovecraft: He rlly puts the love in Lovecr....Im gonna stop there sorry :( that sounded jsut as bad in my head LMAO I LVOE HIM i love the fact that him turning into Kraken is just. smth he can do. not his quirk hes jsut like that. (okay actually he didnt write Kraken so idk what the fuck he turns into but he just like me fr) i love his absolute apathy to everything he rlly is sucha girl like he just wants to sleep fr !!!! he had empty eyes and long lucious hair and thats enough to make me love you so i literally DONT CARE bout NOTHIGN ELSE !!!! 10000/10 hes so fine omg....

Melville: hes actually so chill. i like him! he had honor and standards that he upheld himself and i heavy respect that! going down w yr ship is like the easiest way to gain my respect cuz that troupe >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AND LAST BUT ABSOLUTELY DEFINETELY NOT LEAST:

Edgar Allan Poe:

do I, Dorian Nico di Marionette (my legal Tumblr name), even need to say anything about how much I love this man. I'm not even just talking about the bsd character. I'm talking about the actual author too. He's literally so cool. Like so cool. He came, he lived, he fucked around and found out, and he died!!! He is literally everything I wish to be. Cool, Autistic, Mysterious, Silly. And now specifically the character: I love his need for praise bc ME tOO. I love that he had given himself ONE PURPOSE and that purpose was to beat Ranpo and give him the mystery of his life like yes girl devote your entire being and existence to that ONE (1) man !!!!!! (me) (we need help)

i love that he has a pet Raccoon esp since the general agreement is that he died of rabies like...... ( i personally think he was murdered but idk... ijust feel like someone didnt like him bc he accomplished alot and they probably couldn)

he and ranpos lil friendhsip warms my lil heart to like................... like i said in my tags they remind me of Hikaru and Kaoru in a way where their world was "us" and "not us" and like they are the only ones who can keep each other on each others toes and constantly getting better and giving the ultimate form of praise (theres nothing like getting praise from someone in your field of work, esp someone that you regard as "better than you") and thats so.......... (and if i say codependcy (I WILL PUSH CODEPENDCY ON EVERYTHING BRO I NEED TO SEEK HELP))

anyways these are my excessive thoughts i need help lol

[foxships]

HHMMDGKHDFGKLHMNDFKLHNMGKSDK LNMASE QPOMNREFWSIONFSEDIKLGNR?? >GMJDSFKGLMJEG:RWEKGMRDFGKF??? F MSEIK FMSEDKLF ??!!!! FNMSEKDFMNSDKL I'M GAY I'M GAY I'M SO FUCKJGIN LESBIAN HOLY SHT GOD PLEaSE I'M GONNA MCFREAKIGNG LOSE TI I LVOE WOMEN I LOBVE WOMERNF I LOVE EVIL WOMEN!!!!!