#god i hate being mid 20s and having to live with them

[andragoras-in-vanity]

trying to live up to a household of three people when disabled just so your dog doesnt mope that no one else is home....its definitely a choice ive made this week. anyway i took her for a walk but now im a fall risk.

[renstrapp]

blogging because I'm having fun with my new OC. she doesn't have anywhere to be, no webcomic or graphic novel or anthology project. she's just for me to doodle and think of when I listen to songs.

her name is Amira Miles, she's in her mid/late-20s, and she's a van life influencer. she fucking hates her job and hates having to be upbeat and relatable for thousands of people, but she loves being on the road and this was the quickest way to monetize that.

her real passion in life is coming into women's lives in all the national parks and small town bars and planet fitnesses she passes through and leaving a trail of devastation and one night stands in her wake. all that's left behind when she's gone is "oh god, am i gay now? what will my boyfriend think?" that kind of thing.

she always uses an alias when she picks up women because she doesn't want them looking her up when she inevitably ghosts them.

how this dirty, stinky outdoors woman who lives in her van has all the rizz? now that's... a case of the divine (me, i'm god)

there's more to say about her, and she might end up with a porn comic some day, but that's all I got to say tonight. thank you for listening. i'll draw her for you soon some time

[veggiesforpresident]

What would jally do in the long-term considering it’s the 60s? (If they lived ofcofc)

jeanie you are feeding my soul with these questions <3

So! I think the answer to this changes slightly depending on how they lived. also, I had fun doing some historical research for this ask, haha, so the sources will be linked as they come up.

1. Its a "The Outsiders didn't happen and everything continued as normal" AU

- They either are already together or get together soon

- They'd take coupley photos in a photobooth since it was one of the only ways they could be coupley in public

- Since they're both poor and basically homeless, I think it would make sense for them to move into a shitty apartment together once they either finish high school or drop out. No one would really question this when they're young either.

Also, greasers, the Curtis gang especially, are generally more affectionate with each other than the stereotypical macho man of that time. especially with how queer cowboys were historically, and how much the greasers love (the idea of) cowboys, I think johnny and dally would be able to sit together or have an arm over a shoulder at the drive-in and people wouldn't really bat an eye.

- However, I think there's value to put on like... Being closeted intentionally. I know Dally hates cheating and loyalty is a big thing for him, but that also includes bending the rules for the people he's most loyal too. I think he'd still hit on girls or kiss them/have brief flings, but not commit to them because, of course, he's going home to Johnny. He would "give up on women" in his mid-20s, although like... just look at him, a guy with a criminal record as long as his arm, who has a bad misogynist streak and prison tats? Yeah, people aren't really surprised he never gets (legally) married.

Johnny though... A sensitive, thoughtful guy who's never really angry at anyone? But still rough enough to be considered a bit of a "bad boy"? Oh the girls would be swarming him in their 20s and 30s, especially if he goes to visit Ponyboy at college ever. Johnny would be a heartbreaker.

- on that note, johnny is someone who, to me, reads as Gay, unlike dally who can fly under the radar, and this makes him a bit of a target. Tim or maybe Bryon has probably heckled him over it a few times. Johnny has a mouth on him when he needs to, and he is a greaser after all so it's never too bad. but there are definitely some incidents where he gets questioned or beat up over it (though it's not really any worse than a typical Soc beating, so...). but this provides another argument for them being closeted.

- I don't think Tulsa had much of a gay community, no gay bars, just individual people more or less. But they'd still be close with the gang so it wouldn't matter as much.

- Speaking of the gang, their relationship would eventually become something of an open secret. I think Two would figure something out, probably around when Dally "gives up on women" and maybe he talk to Darry about it ('cause god knows Darry needed someone to talk to about Ponyboy and his... softness, whether Pony winds up gay or not.). I think it would be funny if Soda remained an oblivious straight guy about it until Darry has to pull him aside to say something.

- They wouldn't really be affected by AIDS in the 80s. Like, they'd hear about it and it'd be upsetting to them, but not personally affected - they're not hooking up with anyone else by that point, they don't know many other gay people... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

2. Its a "The Outsiders still happened they just didn't die at the end" AU

- a lot of similarities, but Johnny is paralyzed and a wheelchair user by the end. This would change their dynamic a bit, maybe delay them getting together for real because Johnny now has to deal with this enormous change and it's emotional repercussions first.

- that said, i actually think this would make their relationship stronger because they'd have to navigate this change together and dally would have to learn how to be patient with johnny to a degree he never was before, which would make or break any relationship. (in thsi case, makes it.)

- also, people would question their relationship less because of course poor "wheelchair bound" johnny would need a caretaker (heavy sarcasm here is intended). that said "caretaker" the toughest hood on the block is well... he's like johnny's guard dog, right?

- dally would have the same kinda job regardless of the timeline - janitor, line cook, autoshop, that sort of thing. but in the disabled!au timeline i think he'd have chronic pain from getting shot but not dying. since hes now unable to run from the cops, he'd have to find something else to do with his time, ie finishing high school and/or getting a job. they gotta make rent somehow! especially if johnny struggles to find work or go to school.

- finally, i think nondisabled!johnny would be an EMT or firefighter or something else emergency-related, but that's not an option for disabled!johnny so he'd be a teacher or guidance counselor or therapist. (he'd work a lot with war vets i think and be able to connect with them on a way other (female) therapists couldnt). in the meantime if he can get a job he'd work odd jobs as a cashier, cleaner, retail.

anyway! hahah there's your essay and history lesson for the day! thank you again for the ask!!

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

honestly, looking at izaya's life from a third person pov, it's just... sad? like.

here's this guy who touts himself as something akin to a god and a master manipulator and someone to be feared, and he IS very good at what he does, except... when you take a look at the rest of his life, you see a mid-20s man who has no friends, nobody who really likes him- his clients fear him, his secretary isn't fond of him, and the one friend he DOES have is honestly kind of a garbage friend. and when people draw attention to this, izaya goes on this spiel about how this friendship is so intricrate it can't possibly be understood by an outsider, but what's REALLY happening is that shinra routinely doesn't care for izaya on a personal level via ignoring and ostracizing him, and izaya kind of just. takes it up the ass

he sees everyone around him as an object and the sad thing is everyone, in turn, sees HIM as an object- less an actual living being and more an abstract concept, or at least something that only exists for others to gain something from. it's this vicious cycle of izaya keeping everyone at arm's length and denying his own humanity, which in turn leads to people also denying his humanity, unknowingly feeding into this fucked up cycle of self depracation that most likely started when he was a child- his parents didnt see him as a person, just a mouth to feed and later, a way to have the life they wanted while still appearing respectable- they had kids, just like society said they should, but theyre not obligated to care for them.

and the one person who DOES notice there is something unhealthy going on can't be assed to do anything about it- in volume 9, shinra explicitly says that he doubts izaya expects to live long enough to die of old age- celty actually agrees with him! celty not being assed about it i'd expect, she already hates izaya and doesn't actually know all that much about him, but shinra at least should realize that there's something off about the whole situation. wether thats out of apathy or he just genuinley doesnt believe izaya is being unhealthy, i don't know.

but as it stands, here's a man who insists he can't be manipulated and that he's in control, who's... routinely mistreated by his only friend whom he still talks to and expects some sort of closeness from, and who ultimatley not only loses control, but loses it so spectacularly that he ends up disabled, possibly permanently. i KNOW the spinoff novels said he couldve walked if he went to physical therapy, but "ability to walk" does NOT equal "not disabled anymore."

like... it's just. a sad life! it's a horribly sad existence of a perpetual misery cycle that izaya not only doesn't pull himself out from but actively perpetuates via constantly giving in to his worst impulses and keeping everyone away from him via said impulses, ensuring nobody will notice anything wrong, and that people who DO notice and DO realize its unhealthy, won't give enough of a shit about him to help

[agathasangel]

I Love Everything You Do- Part 1 (Eve Fletcher X Fem!Reader)

Warnings:Soft!Eve, Power Bottom!Eve, Sub!Top!Reader, Virgin!Reader,Obviously smut. Legal age gap (reader is early 20s Eve is mid 40s), Mommy kink ofc

Summary: After many nights spent partying together, Eve finally takes you home and shows you what you’ve been missing out on.

You’ve been to this bar so many times before just hoping to meet someone. To make friends. You’ve always been content being alone, but you still wanted to find your people. Every time you came out here you would usually hang out and drink with a group of older women. The one that was always there and who you could never get out of your head was named Eve.

The two of you would talk about your lives. She was divorced and had a son in college who wasn’t much younger than you.

“It’s still so hard. I mean it- it’s lonely. I miss them all the time. Even Ted- he cheated on me, I know, I should hate him, but-“

“No, I understand. You loved him, one thing doesn’t immediately take that away.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“No, not really. I’m pretty lonely too. I guess I’m just shy. You must think I’m pathetic, I’m out of college and have never had a boyfriend or girlfriend or anything-“

“No. No no no,” Eve put her and on your shoulder and looked at you straight in the eyes.

“There is nothing wrong with you.”

Eve was so beautiful, so kind, so comforting.

Another night, Eve told you all about her son’s first semester of college.

“I was all alone, and I just- oh my god this is so embarrassing- I just started watching porn, like, all the time.”

“That’s not embarrassing, Eve.”

“Then- then you met Amanda- I kissed her, and I had a threesome with her and this guy who was- he was nineteen. And then my son- my son walked in on us. It wasn’t great and I- I haven’t had sex since then.”

“Wow. Holy Shit.”

“And the kid knew my son, too. The hated each other.”

“Oh my god. Was he proud or embarrassed?”

“I don’t know. Probably both. We never talked about it again.”

“I wish I could tell you a story like that but I’ve got nothing. I’ve never even had sex before.”

“That was the last time I did it.”

“I get why that guy had a crush on you.”

“I don’t. Why would he want me over someone his own age?”

“Because older women are beautiful and smart. And because you’re you, Eve. You’re an amazing woman no mater how old you are.”

“You’re the sweetest. You’re so… pretty, too. I didn’t realize I until my son left that I’m bi. Like, that I’m into women I mean. Wow, I’ve never said that out loud before.”

“I mean you did have sex with Amanda.”

“Yeah, but- I don’t know. I’ve never talked about it before, or talked about how many other women I’ve been attracted to or said that I’m bisexual. You’re just so easy to talk to.”

“Wow, Eve. Thank You. You know, I’ve never been a big party girl but I go out every weekend now just so I can see you. It’s embarrassing, I know, but I really like you.”

“I like you too.”

“I know you fantasize about women. Have you ever had fantasies about me?” You were terrified to ask. You were scared that Eve would say no and you would be humiliated.

“Oh, all the time, honey.”

“What do you think about?”

“I think about undressing you, being the first woman to touch you.. My favorite thing to think about is teaching you exactly how to please me. I lay back and spread my legs and you just do as I tell you to do. What your Mommy tells you to do. And I’ll tell you how much I love it, and what a good little girl you are. Would you like that? Because I’m not working tomorrow or anything, I could call an Uber and take the both of us back to my place right now if you felt like it.’

“I want that so badly Eve,” you said, your breathing still heavy, “but I’m scared I won’t do a good enough job.”

“Oh honey, trust me. You’ll be amazing just because you’re you”

You listened to Eve and went home with her.

“You’re such a pretty thing, look at you. So cute and innocent. Are you nervous?”

“A little bit. I just wanna do a good job for you, Mommy,” you said, trying out the title Eve had called herself earlier.

“It’s okay. Don’t be scared little one, Mommy’s gonna show you exactly how to please her.”

“I- I can do that Mommy. I can be good and obedient for you Mommy.”

Eve cupped your cheek in her hand, “I know, baby. Let me give you a kiss first.”

And Eve kissed you hard, the first time you kissed anyone in a very long time. Her hands moved all over your body, groping your breasts, your butt, and your thighs. Eve slowly pulled away from you and you quietly whimpered at the loss of contact. But she quickly made up for it by taking off all her clothes. Her body was incredible, just a beautiful work of art. Eve lay down on the bed and spread her legs, beckoning you closer to her. You sat in between her legs, looking at her pussy. You had never seen another woman’s up close before and you weren’t quite sure what to do.

“What should I do first Mommy?”

“First, you’re gonna rub my clit like this,: and she demonstrated, taking two fingers and rubbing them in a circular motion around her clit. You did as Eve said and she let out a soft, shaky breath.

“Yes little one, just like that, that feels so nice…”

After a few minutes, Eve instructed you to insert a finger into her, then another, then another.

“That feels so good, baby! You’re doing such a good job. Good girl, good…”

Eve laid the praise on heavy, and you loved it. You leaned over to kiss her on the cheek and she giggled.

“You’re so cute, little one. Now, Mommy has a very special toy she wants you to fuck her with. Wait here.”

Eve went into the closet and pulled out a dildo and harness.

“I’ve never used these before, babe. But I keep collecting toys hoping to find someone. I wanna try them finally.”

Eve helped you into the harness and led you back to the bed, kissing you. She lay down on her back and held onto your hips as she guided you into her. Eve was so wet, so excited.

“Yes, that’s it baby, fuck Mommy, make her feel good. Just like that…” said Eve as you started nervously thrusting into her.

“Harder, little one, that’s it. You’re so cute when you do that.”

You went harder with Eve’s help, her hands gripping your hips.

“Is this good, Mommy? Am I making you feel good?” You asked as you used your hands to play with Eve’s breasts. You could hear her moans getting louder and more excited as you went harder.

“Yes baby, yes, keep doing that. Keep playing with Mommy’s breasts, just like that. You’re such a good girl! Keep going.”

You could feel yourself getting wet too, and you went faster with your Mommy’s encouragement.

“I’m getting so close baby. I’m so close! You’re fucking Mommy so good baby, yes!”

Eve came and you kissed her. The both of you just stayed there for a while, with you on top of and inside of her, and her hands groping you.

“That was great. How do you feel, baby?”

“I’m so wet, Mommy.”

“I can take care of that after you rest up, beautiful girl.”

[splitsy-honeyh]

My Split headcanons🍌💥

Half of these headcanons was made by me!!! Cuz I relate to Split the most 💫 (she's me frr)

—· HCs!! [Some of em r canon]

Split uses She/her prns

Like canon, she's a lesbian

she's kinda short to me so.. She's 5'6! (PLEASE DON'T JUMP ME)

CHUBBY QUEEN💥💥

She has a banana themed scarf but only used it when it's cold

She's canonically blind without glasses so.. She sleep with glasses on

SHE WATCH BFDI (or any object shows) !!! GUYS GUYS!! she had a banana objectsona

despite being short, she's tall if she stand on 2 of her back foot

Mid 20's

BFDI inspires her to make a gameshow (SplitsVille) and write all of the jokes n puns

she still have feelings for Bive (GOD I WANT THEM TO KISS)

Split lucky day is when she meet flamingo (this hc is fun cuz flamingo actually play regretevator)

she has a nerdy voice

Has a tooth gap

She has freckles (I FORGOT TO DRAW IT)

Removable shell

She has a good relationship ALMOST with everyone

Love weird food combination

Wife coded (frfrfrfr) /nsrs

she love to cook n bake

Uses leg warmers afraid she will be cold

She hates chocolate and cat

She knows almost all the puns but mostly into banana puns

She loves hanging out with Pilby and making jokes together, sometimes she bring Bive too!

Crazay😜😜 (sometimes)

Rest of it are canon (in the wiki)

—· FACTS!!

— Wallter n Mark helps Split build and constructing SplitsVille

^ this was before they were divorced

— Split lives alone in her house, but sometimes her sister came

— She bakes cookies and cakes for Bive whenever they're hungry or not

— Hosting a gameshow really exhaust her

AND... idk man,, But I will update this soon!!

[tanoraqui]

🔪❄️

[ask meme]

Already answered Knife.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I know I've said this before, but I really would like someone who has actual experience being a parent and/or having a notably messy relationship with at least one parent to write a fic about Curufin returning to life in Fourth Age Aman and trying to reconcile with Celebrimbor, and then - before he's actually done doing that - Fëanor returns as well so Curufin also has to sort out how he feels and is reacting to that.

I'd like it to be written by someone with more real-life experience in this sort of emotional tangle than I have, because I just...don't have many strong opinions about parenting. Which this story would very much be about, though not exclusively. However, it WOULD need to follow exactly my headcanons for characterization, worldbuilding, and generally the moral dynamics of the cosmology, because god knows that will also come up.

Key characters and other components include:

Curufin has, over the millennia of being dead, resignedly come around to the "less evil would have been done in the breaking of it" position on the Oath. However, he's still very proud and fucking hates apologizing to anyone. He'll do it but he hates it.

He hates it much less when it's apologizing to Celebrimbor, almost not at all. Celebrimbor, however, is very reluctant to believe his father repents of anything except getting caught.

Yantalmandë, Celebrimbor's Vanyarin wife, who is ready to support him either by kicking any unwanted family firmly out the door or by sympathetically talking him through forgiving them, for his own sake if not theirs - whichever the situation requires. One of the most notable heretics in Aman for her theory that morality and ethics can and should exist entirely independently from the dictates of Eru and the Valar but rather be derived from the nature and experience of Arda. She's mildly embarrassed whenever people bring up her philosophical infamy.

(This is, in fact, somewhat the moral of the story: that when you make a living thing, you may raise and guide and advise them, but you fundamentally lose the right to dictate their choices. Children should be independent from their parents and both should be proud of this.)

Curufinwen, their daughter, at least 1,000 years old but vibes as mid-20s, who in family tradition holds her father to be probably the greatest and definitely her favorite person in the world, and who is distinctly more correct in this than the last 3 people in her eponymous lineage. Skeptical of her newly reincarnated family, but willing to give them a chance. Also, superb metallurgist/chemist/explosives expert.

Maltrinbor, Curufin's wife and Celebrimbor's mother, about as willing to forgive Curufin as Celebrimbor is but at a different angle. I still haven't decided whether I want her to be Noldorin (and died in the stormy sea-crossing, or in Dagor Bragollach after the slow eroding of her marriage?) or Teleri (and died at Alqualondë while trying to find her idiot husband and clearly-not-safe child, after walking away from them a decade ago?). Either way, she's a preeminent artist in glass and has been living near her parents near Aulë's mountain, focusing on craft all these millennia since her return, happy to be a mother but avoiding like spiders any royal politics (which Celebrimbor can never quite do.) SO disappointed in Curufin, for not being...better. In literally any way tbh. But especially for never stepping far enough out of his father's shadow to live up to his own potential.

Finrod in the role of frustratingly wise advice-giver, not least in the area of parenting because he's now had 7 children, and, when Curufin cracks and asks him for help, earnest confidant and supporter in this reconciliation. While also playing an extended game which he calls "social rehabilitation" and Curufin and Celegorm both call "publicly humiliating psychological torment." On top of everything else Curufin has to be grateful and/or apologetic to Finrod about, when Celebrimbor returned from Mandos, Finrod immediately took him under his wing and helped him fully recover from his trauma and comfortably re-settle into Valinorian society.

Veryawendë, Finrod's 4th daughter and Celebrimbor's best friend, artistic collaborator, and ally within the family. A superb jewel-smith and -sculptor who actually studied with Nerdanel in order to master form and sense of movement and life. Very ready to bodily kick unwanted parents or uncles out the door on his behalf.

Celegorm, Curufin's usual/former closest confidant, who is very sympathetic to Curufin's plight and of course he also wants to reconcile with his beloved nephew, but he's kind of focussed on reconciling with an entire Vala of the Hunt first so could you maybe stop ranting and help him, Curvo?

Nerdanel absolutely is involved in this, but I think she's trying - maybe by wrestling with herself - to stay out of it, and oblige her children and theirs to solve their own problems which they made.

And of course Fëanor, who comes out of Mandos regretting a great deal...but who is still too prideful to let himself be much diminished by this guilt, and so with all his vigor sets about trying to Fix What He Broke, which sometimes means the world's most undeniable earnest repentant apologies and sometimes means unthinkingly steamrolling everyone and everything in his path.

(Fëanor who never wanted his children to be consumed by his own fire - his own will, his own grief and rages - like kindling for the flame, but who probably didn't always communicate that in word or deed even before the Oath. Fëanor who, accustomed to Bonding Through Craft, tries to connect with his grandson by offering to teach him some techniques which have clearly been lost, and instead only sets off Celebrimbor's latent Annatar-related alarm bells. Fëanor who is overall struggling with many of the same things that Curufin is, and in most ways he's ahead [typical, natural, bitterly surprising] but in some ways he's behind [mind-boggling, earth-shaking, weirdly satisfying in an uncomfortably vengeful way.])

(Vs Curufin who is so angry at and so so so disappointed and betrayed by his father but who has never consciously, and rarely unconsciously, experienced those feelings in that direction before [while alive to remember it] and doesn't really know how to do so, much less how to express it [the answer is 'sobbing while shouting', at least at first]. He's pretty accustomed to feeling them toward himself, though, except he's also very accustomed to ignoring that and/or blaming other people for it and feeling like a victim instead. He never felt it toward his son, not truly; it was just easier for a few years toward the end to include Celebrimbor in the list of people he blamed - but only in his very darkest moments, and it always set off a vicious circle of feeling even worse.)

Oh yeah Finwë definitely needs to be involved in this whole tangle of generations of fatherhood as well. But I have no idea how he fits in, just that he's among the people who all need to be put into a giant hamster ball together and gently shaken until they're all a little healed.

Btw corrollary to the above "you have to be okay with your children doing things you neither plan nor approve of" is "you have to be okay with things you make being viewed and used in ways you neither planned nor approved of." It's not always your right (@Fëanor) and it's not always your responsibility (@Celebrimbor - he's mostly learned the lesson but it still hurts. The recent end of the Third Age brought back how it hurts).

Additional Supporting Cast:

Maedhros: running around playing catch-up on the 3D chess game of Noldorin and Eldarin politics and public perception. (Note: I'm ambivalent as to whether this fic has to take place in a Celechwes-inclusive timeline, but if it is, she gets pregnant shortly before Fëanor's return and that's very thematically relevant.)

Maglor: hasn't entirely recovered from 6,000 years of self-induced Song-filled isolation, has apparently sworn some sort of fealty to Earendil?? No help.

Caranthir: busy trailing after his wife like a repentant puppy until she decided to let him back into her heart. No help.

Ambarussa: one of them, probably Amrod, took up weaving while drifting between Mandos's Halls and Vairë's, and is continuing that apprenticeship while alive again, so they're spending a lot of time with the grandparents.

Mahtan, who is quite near the top of the list of people whom Curufin doesn't want to look in the eye.

The Silmaril which is right over there on the far edge of the continent, he can feel it sometimes...and that's okay. It's where it neds to be, it's in the care of a (distant) (barely counts) kinsman, and more important Maglor is keeping some sort of eye on it. So it's fine. There's nothing he can practically do anyway, not without restarting a war; and that's not an option anymore than charging Angband was.

Huan, best boy. Has also been looking after Celebrimbor since he returned to life, because he's the best uncle in this family.

A wide assortment of OCs, including people who died in Himlad, people who followed Curufin to Doriath and died there, people who followed him to Doriath and survived beyond that, people who stayed with Celebrimbor in Nargothrond, people who were in Eregion and died, people who were in Eregion and survived...

I really want the whole line of Curufinwës to make something together, like, the very first scene is Curufin approaching Celebrimbor not for the first time, but for like the third time and this time he's suggesting a long-term project of some sort, which would give them the opportunity to spend time together in an activity they both enjoy and (used to) both enjoy and are accustomed to doing together. Then that spans the whole story. Idk what it is, though - I do want them to make Maedhros a hand that shoots lasers like Iron Man's glove, but that's not what The Project should be.

CURUFIN HAS TO GET AN EPESSË IN THE END, ONE WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FËANOR WHATSOEVER.

[buckyarchives]

The Domestic Life Of Living With a Runaway Assassin [chapter one.]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x soulmate!reader

summary: you hate many things in life. You hate soulmates. You hate the avengers. You hate guns. You hate lost snorers and complicated relationships.

Bucky Barnes is associated with all of those things, yet you can find yourself hating him

W.c: 6.9k

Author note: did not think this was going to actually get notes. I forgot how bad my wiring was back then and going through and rewriting all of it is just. Ugh. I’m too lazy.

masterlist

Today was going down as the most inconvenient day ever. 

It was 10:30 pm, and you were sitting in some stupid coffee shop, the only one that had free Wi-Fii in your area because yours is down for the next 24 hours. The coffee tastes like shit because of-fucking-course it does. This place closes in 30 minutes and you have all that time to send in all your week's work to your boss, which is also due in 30 minutes. You weren't even going to think about the fact you spent all day having to listen to ongoing construction outside and having to run your roommate all around Queens to help her get comfy and organized at her dorm. 

You wanted to kick someone, honestly. 

As you tried your best to focus and very frantically type away at your keyboard. You were probably going to break your keyboard at some point tonight, either by typing too hard or just simply throwing it across the fucking room in a fit of rage. 

A woman, maybe in her mid-30s – if it matters, walks up to you and reminds you that the place closes in half an hour and gives you a free, pity coffee. Probably noticing the growing under eyes bags or seeing you yawn into your hand every 7 minutes, give or take. 

You had chugged the coffee and put everything you had into the next 20-something minutes and you sat back after your third look over everything to make sure you didn't miss any mistakes that could possibly get you fired. You were finally done and could go home. 

Closing your laptop and packing your shit up, you wave to the lovely lady probably waiting for you to leave so she can close up. But because nothing goes your way and New York is just the most wonderful place to live, especially with the avengers. You don't make it out the door before you hear rapid gunfire rattle your ears and suddenly you’re ducking beneath the first table you find. 

Your day could not get any worse, you thought.

Maybe you could have just crawled up in a ball and accepted your fate of being killed midst the 7th random gunfight of the month, you could even make it on the news! Nope, fate had other ideas and someone just has to save you. 

Your ears filter out everything besides the sound of gunfire, glass shattering, and people screaming and yelling. It's too fucking late for this. A firm hand grabs yours and before you can get whisked away and snatch your bag because your life is worth risking for your laptop and books. You swear you got whiplash from how fast you moved away from the scene, only seeing a black blur of a human in front of you. 

You regain your senses, most of them. After being pushed and crouched in a back alley behind the now-destroyed coffee shop, you hoped the lady was okay. catching your breath and hearing frantic shuffling next to you. A man, tall and built, dressed entirely in black with a plethora of weapons attached to his body. He glances at you for a moment and you think he looks familiar, maybe he was an Avenger. God, you hate the Avengers. His eyes continued to scan the dark area, before settling down next to you, eyes trained on one end of the ally. 

He has a messy mop of a head, you can't really see his eyes clearly but you definitely notice the insane-Robert-Pattinson's-batman-amounts of black eyeshadow around his eyes. He has a black mask on too. Okay, so edgy Avengers. Haven't heard of him on the news yet. Like you even watch the news. 

You must have been staring for a little too long and too hard because the mystery Avenger takes notice of it and his bushy eyebrows furrow at you, looking at you like you had personally offended him. Then, you notice his eyes and are a little, only a little, taken aback by their intense blueness and beauty of them. You barely notice what he says. “I'm sorry, you probably don't feel very safe with me.”

You scoff. “I don't even know who you are.”

The emo Avenger freezes and looks at you with wide eyes like you grew two heads. Or you were the crazy one between the two of you. “What?” you question him and he mumbled and sputtered under the mask. You motion for the mask, telling him to take it off. And he slowly rips it off his face, his very pink lips are parted and he's breathing hard and fast. 

“You.. what did you say, your words.”

Wait.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Your mouth falls open and you really want to kick something, or him. “You're my soulmate?” you said maybe a little too loud and it came out harsher than intended. He looks hurt by your tone and if it wasn't for the shock taking over your head, you would have felt bad. 

Today is the most inconvenient and the worst day of your life.

“Wow doll, you're the first person I've met that sounds disappointed to find their soulmate.” you ignore his comment and especially ignore the nickname, hoping that wouldn't stick. You wanted to go the fuck home. 

“Can I leave?”

Your soulmate narrowed his eyes at you. “No.”

“Why.” your eyes narrow back into his and just for a moment you realize you’re now in an impromptu staring contest with this man in some dirty back alley, hoping you don't get shot. “Listen, man, I have work tomorrow and I'd rather not get shot or dragged into some avengers bullshit.

He rolls his eyes, but you're not done. “I really don't like the Avengers. Seriously, you couldn't have chosen any other job? The number of cars I've seen the hulk throw and then miss–”

“I'm not an Avenger.” his bushy eyebrows furrow, plus the black war paint makes him look intimidating. If you weren't pissed,  you might have been a little scared. Only a little.

“You really don't know who I am?”

“Am I supposed to?” you fire back. The ego of this guy!

He sputtered for a moment, “No, I guess not.”

your back hits the brick wall, sigh to yourself, and slump back down. You made yourself small. Now nursing a monstrous headache.

A frustrated grunt comes from the dark brunette. “Ok, ok, ok, ok… I'm going to walk you home.”

“No.”

“Yes,” he says, you just realize you don't know his name. “You said it yourself, you don't want to get shot. I’ll make sure that you don’t.”

You were really tired, letting people win wasn't something you did often. You'll make an exception. You huff and blow some stray hair away from your face. “What's your name?”

He pauses, “Bucky.”

“Well, Bucky.” you bring yourself to your feet. “You bring me safely home, quickly with no little side quest. That's it. And then you turn around and don't come back to my place.” you grab a hold of his hand to drag him along but you're met with cold, hard, metal. He flinches out of his skin, and metal. Your eyes travel up his arm. 

“You’re an amputee?”

Bucky looks confused. “What?”

“Nevermind.” you shook your head and continued to drag him along to your apartment. You were so ready to go the fuck to bed. You hoped this walk home wasn't painful, but when do you get what you want?

Bucky was confused. Your pace matched his as you walked side by side to your apartment. The gentle wind brushed against his skin and flew through his brown locks. He was walking next to his soulmate. You were his soulmate and it seemed you wanted nothing to do with him. 

Bucky knew very well he was way out of his time but he couldn't come up with a coherent answer to why. Was this new generation against the universe? Was this some weird trend? Unless you lied to him and did know who the winter soldier was, that would make sense. But, you seemed pretty persistent that you did, in fact, not know him (which the more he thought about it– he felt good that you didn't know). You must not read the paper, or watch the news. You thought he was a goddamn avenger!

He glances over to you, your lips. You were chewing on your bottom lip. It was painted red. You look beautiful with the dim yellow street light shining down on your face. “Don't do that.”

Bucky's voice is soft and gentle. He doesn't recognize it.

Your eyes trail to him. “Do what?” you ask

“That.” Bucky pauses in his spot on the sidewalk, takes a few steps towards you and he brings his flesh hand up to your mouth, slowly grazing his thumb across your split lip. “Don't chew so hard on your lip like that. I'm sure it hurts.”

Bucky's eyes are trained onto your lips, he doesn't dare look up at your eyes. But you are staring at him with widened eyes. You felt like you were on fire.

Too close. You pull away. “Okay, this is my apartment. Bye, Bucky.” 

And just like that, you're quickly walking into your apartment lobby, you glance back at him and give Bucky a sincere smile before leaving his sights. Bucky stood there feeling like an idiot, completely forgetting any government or hydra issues he was dealing with earlier.

Bucky was going to walk away but his intrusive, no,  protective – as he would describe it – thoughts took over. He jogged to the other side of the building, hoping he would be able to figure out which apartment you lived in without going too far. He saw a light turn on and noticed a figure walking by, your figure. This wasn't stalking, no. Bucky was just making sure you made it to your home, safe and sound, he was just looking out for his soulmate. As he should. So, not stalking. And maybe, if bucky only really needed it, he would remember that window so he could pay you a visit. Not stalking you, he just cares about you. For some reason.

Bucky can hear Steve calling him a punk in the back of his head. He missed steve.

On the other end, you dragged yourself into your apartment and dropped your bag the moment you reached your room. Not caring to clean yourself up you flopped on your bed, with a long and painful groan. You felt a small weight down on your bed and you turned your head to see our cat sitting down next to your head. 

You smile and bring your hand to pet his head. “My savior. You are the only man I need.”

A soft purr vibrates from the felines, followed by a meow.

You sigh. “You're right. I need a shower.” 

Your mind wandered in the shower, as the water trickled down your body you couldn't help but bring your hand to your shoulder blade. Your finger traced around the words on your back. Your lip tug at your bottom lip. You nibbled at the already raw skin. Don't do that. You could practically feel the warmth of his hand on your face as your mind flashes back to when he was standing so close to you just moments ago. 

Bucky. There was no way you were going to let him haunt your head now. You turned the warm water off and grabbed your towel in annoyance. Drying yourself off and heading the fuck to bed. Praying that maybe when you wake up this whole day would be a dream. No soulmates, no getting shot at, and absolutely no getting flustered outside your apartment by someone you met an hour ago. 

–

 Bucky couldn't wait to see you again. He has been on the run from Hydra and Steve Rogers for too long; bucky had a hint on who would find him first. One night everything got to be too much. Parts of what hydra did to him are still very much a part of him, it was tearing him apart. It was getting harder and harder to diffrerencate what was bucky, the winter soldier, or this third feeling of pure absence of someone he didn’t know yet. He needed someone, anyone. He needed you.

You heard someone call for your name, they kept shaking you. You just wanted peaceful sleep goddamn it. You needed it. You rustled in your bed sheets, waving your hand at your roommate. She said your name again, and again, and again and ag–

“What!” you look over to see her, barely, in the dark of the room. “I'm trying to sleep!”

“There is someone in our living room.” she barely whispers.

Oh. “are you sure?” you squint at her. You don't know if she can even see you clearly enough.

“Yes.” another scared whisper.

What does a person around here have to do to get a full night's sleep for fuck sake? 

Your eyes practically roll to the back of your head. Pulling back the covers and throwing your phone at your roommate. “Call 911 if I scream or take longer than I should.” you grab the metal bat in the corner of your room.

 The fucker that decided to rob you tonight picked the wrong house, knowing the amount of pent-up rage you had; you were sure you could knock out fucking Capitan America if you wanted. Just imagine your boss's face. You sigh, loud and hard footsteps echoed through your apartment. Rounding a corner and pulling the bat high up and–

Cling!

You braced for impact. You don't get it. You look up at whoever, whatever you hit. “You!”

You are angrier than you were when interrupted from your sleep. What is he doing here? In the middle of your living room, at least he's not wearing his stupid, edgy superhero get-up. Just normal clothing and a baseball cap, but you could see the outline of a gun through his jacket. 

“Can you put the bat down?” Bucky’s holding the bat, stopping you from landing a hit to his head. 

“No. what are you doing in my living room.”

His face scrunches. Pulling the bat down and yanking it from your hands. That fake arm of his was stronger than you expected. Bucky lets out a pained sigh, “I don't know but will you just listen to me and not hit me, please?”

You feel bad. “Maybe.”

Bucky looks at you and you swear he looks like he’s going to cry. The moonlight shining through your windows makes his face look sharper, defining his features more. You think maybe this is a dream because he looks really good. Bucky looks at you like you are his whole world, or maybe you will be someday soon. “I just…”

You’re quiet, you listening to him. Bucky realizes that maybe he will cry tonight. “I just need to talk to someone, anyone. Be with someone right now or… or…” he trails off, not wanting to think about what else could happen.

you feel terrible. “Do you not have someone else than a soulmate you've only known for an hour?” you joke, but he looks at you like it's definitely not a joke. Bucky's eyes are trained on the floor as he shakes his head.

His head jerks up when your roommate walks into the room. “Do I still call 911?”

“No!.” you and bucky yelled at the same time. Eyes snapping to each other after the syllable left your mouth, eyebrows furrowed and spite heavy on your face. Whilst Bucky looked one wrong move away from a nervous breakdown. Weird dude.

You motion to your roommate to tell her to go back to bed but before you can get any words out she’s shoving past you to get too bucky. “Wait.. are you... I’ve seen you on the news.” her hand raises to her face to cover her gaping mouth. Her eyes go wide and she suddenly looks like a ghost. “Oh, my god.”

What the fuck. “Seriously, jasmine go back to bed and stop gawking at my soulmate.”

She shouts your name like your mother would when you started cussing. “You are not serious. Do you know who this is.” her pointer finger goes towards bucky aggressively. Bucky looks panicked, you wonder why but based on this mood earlier; it was best to ask questions later. It was time to play dutiful soulmate. 

“Look, jas.” you grab her by the shoulders. “I don’t know and I don’t care. Just go to bed, please?” you guide– no, drag her out of the room and give her a final nudge away, despite her weird shouts about a winter something. You couldn’t care to listen.

“I’m sorry about her. She gets paranoid.” you release a breath you forgot you were holding, followed by a plop of the couch. Bucky settles awkwardly next to you. “You really shouldn’t go breaking into people's houses, buck.”

Bucky gets whiplash at the nickname, his mind goes to Steve and suddenly he feels out of place. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, you barely hear him. “I should go, this was stupid.” Bucky goes to get up and head toward the fire escape again but you’re quick, grabbing his wrist. Bucky could have pulled away from you if he wanted, but he crumbled under your touch. Bucky holds his breath like he’s going to drown.

Bucky’s days kinda blend together. He likes routine, but there was no routine to have when you're doing what he does. You met him two weeks ago, it felt a lot more than that, or less. He couldn't tell but your touch made him feel like everything was so far away, he caught his breath for the first time in weeks. 

Bucky thought about spilling it all out, his past, his everything. But that would defeat the purpose of coming here. That talk could wait. “I'm sorry that you got me as a soulmate.”

You smack your lips and scoff. “As your body should say– uh, somewhere.” you wave your hands dramatically, “I don't even know who you are. Nothing to be sorry for, yet.”

His lip quirks up. “Except scare your roommate half to death.”

“Maybe wouldn't have happened if you used the doors.” you smile at him, Bucky’s sure he wouldn't be able to see it without the soft light of the moon shining on your face. And maybe it's just his super soldier-enhanced senses, either way, he’s soaking it up like it's the only time he’ll ever see it. 

“Doors aren’t really my thing.”

You scoff. “I'm not sure what that means but, at least go through my window next time.”

“Noted.”

“And knock!”

His lip quirk turns into a small grin. “Also noted.”

Bucky glances over at you, you’re biting your lip again. He wants to kiss you. He settles for pulling your chewed lip from under your teeth before it bleeds, just as he did that night outside your apartment. You smile, thinking that maybe you'll let him stay around for a while.

You realize that Bucky didn't walk you to your door that night, and didn't even make it inside the building. Your eyes furrow, and confusion and… amusement fills your body. “So did you stalk me the past few weeks or did you just kindly ask my landlord which unit I lived in?”

He pauses, hoping you wouldn't ask about that. “I wasn't stalking you, I just notice things.” 

You laugh out loud, and he's caught off guard by how nice it sounds ringing in his ears. “That's literally what a stalker would say.”

“I'm serious, I've been busy doing stuff these past weeks.” Bucky tried to reassure you he wasn't camping out on the roof of the building across your window like an actual stalker would. You haven't decided if you were going to believe him. You just laugh because you feel weirdly good with him in your presence. You curse to yourself, why did the universe always have to be right?

You don't care to respond so Bucky continues. “So you're not going to ask me about what your roommate was talking about.” he turns his head to look at you. He can practically see the gears turning in your head, and he gulps. 

You shake your head, eyes trained on whatever is in front of you. “Nah.” you look at him.

Bucky thinks you're the most interesting person he's met in a long time. He’ll test the waters. “What if I'm dangerous.” he narrows his eyes at you.

You narrow yours back at him. “If you're not going to kill me or you're not an avenger, I'm not too worried.”

“What do you have against the avengers?”

You groan. “It's a long story, but they are the reason I don't watch the news and why my roommate is a paranoid freak.”

Oh. so you really don't watch the news. Bucky thinks. He feels guilty when he feels a sort of relief go through his body, followed by more panic realizing he had to explain everything to you soon. Not now though, god no, not now. Maybe he could get by with not telling you at all. Bucky mentally punches himself in the face, no that wouldn't be right. Plus he was sure your roommate would babble to you about how badly the news painted him. Maybe him telling you first would be a better idea. 

“Have you ever heard of the winter soldier?”

-

The golden rays of the sun showed down onto Bucky's face, he looked over to the window hearing the loud bustling of city life below him. Your curtains are brown with white detailing. Bucky shifted on your living room couch, he gauges his mind for the memories of last night. Everything was still all so hazy. 

What day was it? Oh, last night. He tried, really, to get out the truth to you. Fumbling over his words and trying to even remember who he was, it was too much. But you, a god-given gift, told him he was too tired to talk, gave him water, and sent him off to bed on your couch. 

“You can give me your tragic backstory tomorrow, get some sleep weirdo.” you had said to him before literally pushing him onto your very comfortable couch, before returning to your room for the night.

Bucky didn't sleep, he felt oddly safe and comfortable. But he couldn't sleep. Honestly, he was close to dozing off before your roommate had woken up just before sunrise to quietly go off to work, he assumed. Bucky couldn't tell what time it was, he was guessing it was probably around 5 or 6 am. He ought to get up soon and leave. Should he leave without saying something to you? Is that rude? He was sure you'd be okay with getting him out of your hair, he was already enough of a problem to people around him. Bucky gets up to grab his boots.

“Did you even sleep?” Bucky flinches, confused as to how easy it was for you to sneak up on him. He looks up and sees you leaning against a wall, assuming you just woke up. You're still dressed in comfortable clothing, your sweater falling down, giving him a full view of your collarbone. Your skin glows in the soft sunlight. Bucky shook his head in response.

You hum, your feet shuffling across the wooden floor as you make your way into the kitchen. You start making your coffee and Bucky follows. His eyes go to the table, is he intruding if he just sits down? He stands in the doorway and watches you make your drink. You turn to bucky with an oversized mug in hand, deadpanned. “Can't believe I'm soulmates with a stalker. Sit down.” 

You motion to the seat next to you. “Not a stalker.” bucky mumbled, and you scoff.

“You want something to drink? I got tea, coffee, juice, anything your heart desires.”

Bucky pauses. “Water?” 

“Boring.” your eyes roll and you grab a bottle of water from behind you. Handing it to him, his finger brushes against yours. Bucky’s eyes dart to see your reaction, but nothing.

You get comfortable in your chair and open up your phone. Bucky is still sitting across from you, glancing between the door, window, and his water. He tries to look anywhere but at you. You quickly notice, a smart-ass comment comes to mind but you decide against it. Keeping the comfortable silence going for now.

You glance at Bucky, noticing the way his hair was still a mess from whatever he was doing last night. Quickly you realize this is the first time you've seen him in natural daylight, his eyes are beautiful and his usually dark hair looks closer to a light brunette. You could imagine going out on a date with him if he wasn't so dark and broody, but doesn't that just add to the appeal? Maybe.

You set your coffee down. “So…” trailing off, bucky finally makes eye contact with you. “You want to try again?”

Bucky's eyebrows furrow. 

“I still haven't told me who the winter soldier is and it's taking everything in me to not use the internet.” you wave your phone around in the air before setting it down next to your coffee. Bucky purses his lip. “But, I respect you and wouldn't do that.”

Bucky's eyes are trained on the table, his mind trying to find any starting point for this. Should he just tell you about hydra? Start from the beginning with the 40s, fuck, he barely remembers any of that. He's not good with words anymore.

“Can I just…” he pauses, tapping his finger on the wooden table. “Show you?”

It was a bad idea, a really bad idea. Bucky told you that but you'd instead not question him why, bucky wasn't going to elaborate on that either. With both Hydra, the US government, and Steve Rogers looking for him, being in public wasn't the safest. Especially at such a hotspot for Captain America bootlickers and history nerds. 

After many lazy complaints from you, you and bucky made your way out of your apartment together. Bucky wore the best casual disguise he could conjure up, and you and he stood in front of the Smithsonian museum.

Bucky glances over to you, a reasonably confused look plastered on your face. “Why are we at a museum?”

“Just follow me and don't draw attention to yourself, please?”

Instead, You roll your eyes and go ahead of him. “Stalker activity.” bucky hears you mumble before he follows you into the front door.

“What are you showing me, stalker.” bucky walks side by side with you, your presence is comforting in the crowded area. He noticed a group of elementary kids walking around, probably on a field trip.

“Stop calling me that.” he mumbled, “Captain America exhibit.”

Bucky looks at your hand, he could grab it. Only so he doesn't lose you in the crowd, just to keep you safe. Not because he wants to hold in, not because the quick graze of skin this morning left him wondering what it would feel like to hold you. Bucky decides against it and keeps walking.

“Isn't Captain America the like co-leader of the avengers or something?” you ask, bucky just shrugs? You see the large blown-up screens of steve roger and roll your eyes. 

Bucky's eyes lock on his memorial tribute. “Don't freak out and you can ask me questions after we leave.” 

Your face is littered with confusion again as you look at him, but you nod and turn to where he's looking at. 

“..Best friends since childhood, James ‘bucky’ Barnes and steven rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield…” the voice spoke, highlighting a memorial on bucky. Your eyes widen after realizing the bucky standing next to you was the one talked about.

Your eyes travel to the photos of Bucky. One standing next to Steve Rogers with big smiles plastered on their faces, and one of just him. His hair is shorter and he looks much younger. There is a shine in his eyes you don't see now, a bright look that hadn't been snuffed out yet. Bucky watches you as you process the information given to you, watching for any negative or even mad emotions. You lean closer, reading the sign. Bucky was from Brooklyn, a sergeant in the military, he had 3 sisters and he was born in 1917 and he died in 1945. Well, obviously he didn't actually die, more like presumed dead.

“That's…you?”

bucky nodded slowly, eyes trained on the photo of him. He couldn't even recognize himself anymore.

Bucky scans the area, looking for anyone that may have recognized him. he lets out a very shaky breath. “Okay, we've been here too long let's go.” he really wanted to grab your hand on the way out. You don't look at him on the way out. God, did he ruin this already? He wants to punch himself.

You both make it outside, the cold morning wind gives you whiplash. It feels good. You turn to look at bucky and he kinda looks like he's going to have a mental breakdown, you don't blame him. What you just saw explains so much yet, leaves you with more questions than before. You don't think. You grab his flesh hand in hopes of being some comfort, praying that it doesn't make it worse. It doesn't. Bucky doesn't flinch this time but feels his heart jump out of his chest. 

“Are you done with being outside or can we go somewhere?” bucky gives you a nervous and almost… pained look. “It's safe, hidden away and I know the owner,” you reassure him. Bucky reluctantly nods. I'll go anywhere with you as long as you keep holding my hand. And with that, you drag him through new york to your favorite-less-likely-to-get-shot-up coffee shop. It's small, always empty and the owner is an actual sweetheart. 

The bells ring as you waltz in, bucky very close behind you, still holding your hand like a lost child. “Gary! Honey I'm home!” you shout with a wide, playful grin on your face, bucky gives a sigh of relief after noticing that it was indeed empty today. 

An older man comes out from the back, along with a girl who looks like she should be in high school behind him. You wave and give him a warm smile, leaning over the counter slightly, “the usual, please?” you glance back to bucky, “.. and a water?”

You turn to bucky. “Sit anywhere, I”ll be right over in a second.” 

He hums, releasing him from your grasp and suddenly he feels a little empty and more awkward than before. He goes to the table in the farthest corner. Front door. Window. Back door. You. he checks off the list and settles against the wall.

You grin. “How’ve you been holding up, old man.” you tease. 

Gary, the owner. A wonderful and long-time friend of yours. When you first moved to new york years ago this was the first place you went to. You became a regular and you watches workers come and go, you came here when you needed quiet to work or sometimes just to snag a free drink from Gary since he just adored you so much. 

His niece, Emma, was in high school now and worked here for the past year. You would help her study during her breaks and in return, free coffee, and pastries. She was a good baker. You didn't have family here in the city so they were the closest you were going to get to anything like it.

“Not too much, dear.” Gary gave you a warm smile, his eyes squinting. He glances over at bucky in the corner. He laughs “Got a pretty paranoid date over there, I can see his eyes hitting all the exits.”

You scoff, not expecting any less from him. “Not a date, but sadly my soulmate.”

“Finally!” Gary’s eyes light up, and you give him an annoyed look. “Oh be happy about it! Emma won't stop nagging about how she hasn't found hers yet.”

“Have not!” you hear the girl shout from across the bar. You laugh and shake your head. 

Gary hands you your drinks and you bid him a quick bye, knowing he’ll just go back to his crossword puzzles in the back. Heading back over to sit next to bucky and hopefully find out he's not a zombie that's been raised from the dead.

“Your water, sergeant.” you joke, praying it doesn't hit a bad spot. Bucky was surprised by the name, he can't remember the last time someone called him that. His body feels weird.

You don't speak for a moment. You sip at your drink, hoping it will kick it as you didn't get your needed caffeine intake for the day as bucky was dragging you out the door to the museum.

You look at him through your eyelashes, he still looks like he's going to break down any second. 

“Are you a zombie?” 

“What?”

You set the cup down. “You died. So you must be a zombie. I can't believe I'm soulmates with a stalker zombie.”

Bucky's lip quirks up. You're such a dork, he thinks. He almost laughs, it more or less came out as an amused scoff. “I'm not a zombie, I didn't die.”

“Museums these days… always spreading fake information,” you mumble into your cup, taking a quick sip. Bucky smiles, slightly.

“No, I…” bucky trails off, you keep up with the jokes yet you give him a comforting, understanding look. “I fell off a train in the war, I was supposed to die.” bucky catches his breath, talking shouldn't be this hard. “I didn’t, Hydra found me and put me on ice.”

Your eyes perk up in understanding, “like Captain America, right? So why are you on the run then?” bucky looks down, and both of your hands are cupped around your drink. He wants to grab it.

“I'm not Captain America, I did a lot of bad things when Hydra had me. I killed…” Bucky trails off, and memories of Hydra came back to him. All he hears is the sound of guns, and all the blood, he can still smell it. The electricity buzzed in his head as Hydra did their best to strip everything from him, take everything out of him, and then put it back in. bucky can see it all.

You grab his hand and it stops, he just feels you. Your hands are so warm and he wants to cry suddenly. “You don't have to tell me, I do know about Hydra. They did fucked up shit, I know. I'm sure whatever you had to do, wasn't your fault.”

You lean in. too close. your hand raises to his face and you wipe away a stray tear. Had he been crying? 

Bucky lets out an unsteady breath. He can do this, you deserve an explanation. Bucky repeats in his head. He squeezes your hand gently. “They turned me into an assassin, they gave me a mission, and… I did it. I didnt know who I was before, but I didn’t... I didn’t know anything. I just knew my target.”

Your eyes are focused on him. “They had me on ice for most of it, like steve, that's why I don't remember anything. It's all so… foggy. I was sent on a mission and when I completed it I got put back under.”

“And when they needed me again, they'd just bring me back up again.”

“Like I was leftover food for them.”

You don't speak, you didnt dare to right now. Bucky's eyes were filled with anxiety as he watched you process the information. Your eyes fell, and you fiddled with your coffee cup. He saw you bite your lip again, he wanted to remind you not to. But the comment was lost in his throat. Bucky felt sick.

Say something. Please.

Your eyes glance at the silver metal shining between the cuff of his jacket and glove, something shines in your eyes, Bucky’s not quick enough to catch it before you're looking down again. Bucky is now convinced he ruined things on the first day of actually knowing you. He feels like he's going to throw up. Bucky is uncomfortable in his seat and suddenly the fresh warm air of the cafe makes him feel like he's suffocating. He goes to leave and never looks back, but your quicker this time. Grabbing his metal wrist before he gets the chance to stand. Bucky doesn't flinch this time.

“Buck, sit down.” you look at him now. “I don't hate you, calm down.”

He gulps. “You're scared of me though.”

“No.”

Bucky blinks at you, once, twice. “Why. I've killed so many-”

“Don't do that, bucky.” you shook your head at him. “Don't do that to yourself. I'm not dumb, you were a prisoner of war, a victim. You had no choice.”

A victim… he hadn't heard that word be used to describe him. 

Bucky's throat goes dry. His leg bounces under the table, he can't look at you. Bucky's eyes dart to the clock. Tick, tick, tick… the door. The other door. He feels trapped. 

You whisper, “bucky.”

Your name is the only thing that manages to escape Bucky’s lips. He sniffles, “Listen, I’m sor-”

“Hey, guys! Everything okay over here?”

 Emma's cheering voice interrupts Bucky, you both flinch back and your hand retracts from Bucky’s hand. He feels cold. Bucky's cold hand wipes away any extra tears left. You mumble a quick response, and a few thank you’s and she left a muffin in front of you. Bucky hears her footsteps receding. He should have heard her coming up, when did he get so useless? That could have been an enemy and, boom. He's dead. 

You push the blueberry muffin in front of bucky. “You like blueberries?” bucky looks at you, the muffin, back to you. Your lips are in a straight line, but your eyes are smiling. 

“Plums.”

You were caught off-guard. “What?”

“I like plums.”

You hum in response and split the muffin in two. One for you and one for bucky.

The next hour is mostly silent, bucky ordered a coffee of your recommendation. Well, more like you ordered it for him and guilt-tripped him into drinking it. It was sweet. You ordered another large cup and bucky takes a mental note to make you drink more water in the future. Your hands grasp your coffee and a book, he wants to hold it again. He wonders what it would feel like to hold you, all of you. 

He looks at the crossword puzzles you stole from the back for him. How could he possibly do a crossword puzzle when you're sitting in front of him? Bucky would glance up at you and he'd catch you looking at him, he looks away, and vice versa. Bucky is not shy, but sometimes he just gets nervous. How could you not? I mean, just look at you.

Your book falls from your grasp. “I don't want to intrude, but you are my stalker so I think I'm allowed to just a little.” bucky rolls his eyes. Your tone turns more serious  “Just tell me if I am intruding though…”

Bucky doesn't respond and lets you speak. You're hoping you are not going into a sensitive area. “How did you get out… is that why you're on the run?”

Bucky inhales sharply. His eyes flutter. A simple no was all he could push out. You don't know bucky well, but the look he's sporting is enough for you to stop asking any more questions. 

The clock reads 9:30. Shit.

“Fuck. work, I forgot about work.” you stand from your chair abruptly, the wooden chairs scraping against the floor. “I- we gotta go.”

I have nowhere to go, bucky thinks quickly. Before standing up with you, he doesn't say anything.

Grabbing both of your cups and chucking them in the trash, before returning the books to the counter. Bucky just stands there awkwardly, watching you. You notice and mumble a quick, “stalker” under your breath. Bucky pushes back a small grin. You gab his metal hand, covered by a glove, and push something into his hand. a key?

Bucky's eyebrows furrow but before he can get anything out. “You can't possibly think I’ll feel good knowing my soulmate is out on the run, probably sleeping behind some dumpster like a raccoon?”

“My roommate doesn't get home till tomorrow, and use the door his time!”

And with that, you’re speed-walking out, a soft jingle from the door as it closes. Bucky stands dumbfounded in the middle of the cafe as he blankly stares at the key in his gloved palm. His legs feel like jello. A soft cough from behind bucky brings him back to earth, it's the old man.

“Don't break their heart, I may be old and..” the old man, you said his name was Gary, looks bucky up and down. “...you may be big, but I'm sure I got a good right hook in here somewhere.”

Bucky feels warm and normal. Like he was a 15-year-old boy meeting his date's dad again. Bucky nods.

“I promise I will keep ‘em safe.”

tag list; @i-l-y-3000 @ivywasmaroon @waywardcrow @alana4610 @ozwriterchick @slytherinambitious @wintermischief

[toxycodone]

What is ur ideal dunmeshi polycule.. or your nightmare polycule, what is the worst combo of your fictional crushes that could all live in one big house together with you.

Oh God. I….okay.

Oxy’s Modern AU! Ship Lore. (Dungeon Meshi Edition)

It’s complicated. Me and Laios have the only semblance of a normal relationship (besides all the biting each other and puppy play shit.) On the outside you’d see us together a lot and be under the assumption that we are boyfriends maybe a little weird. But cute and harmless nonetheless.

Well then there’s Kabru. He’s there mainly for Laios at first (wants to understand his freak) and then comes across me and cannot decide if he wants to hate me or fuck me. Kabru gets constantly cockblocked because Laios always shuts him down and never assumes anything romantic (despite me encouraging Kabru to do it bc I’m okay w it). This leads to hate sex. Or something. We have a weird polycule type beat. Kabru has a constant migraine (but in the best way possible.) Labru canon.

Then we have Thistle. He makes it really clear he doesn’t like Laios or Kabru. But he VERY much so likes me (my whimsy but obvious self awareness has captivated him). Laios tries his damn hardest to get on Thistle’s good side. Kabru thinks this guy should eat shit, but tries to act polite. Kabru’s convinced Thistle is a one time hookup for me or something. Then starts gnawing at the bars of his enclosure the longer the dude sticks around. He’s really hoping I drop Thistle when he outgrows being a boy toy.

Lastly, Mr. Winged Lion/Demon comes into play. I’m hooked because usually I’m never down bad for anyone but I’m down sincerely for this guy. He’s kinda a creep. Thistle refuses to be in the same room as this man. For once, Laios doesn’t like someone. He and Thistle bond over this. Kabru is entranced because 1. This dude is a major freak and he wants to know his deal/how much of a threat he is to me 2. Cannot resist the case study here at play. Just why is Oxy so down bad? Especially for a man who barely graces it with attention? What is happening here? IS OXY WESRINF A FUCKINF CHASTITY BELT?

Anyways it goes like this:

Laios/Oxy: Established relationship. Almost normal boyfriends. Almost

Laios/Oxy/Kabru: The Big Three. Perfect Trio. There is banter. There’s autism. There’s everything. It’s perfect. Established relationship in a comfortable multi bedroom apartment/penthouse.

Oxy/Thistle + Labru: Thistle becomes a side piece but for some reason stays. Laios is okay with this. Kabru is not convinced to let this barely legal guy stay despite how much I preach about how he’s just a little meow meow wet cat. There is a slight begrudging agreement to allow Thistle to sleep in my office. It becomes his room. Awwww.

Oxy/Lion + Thistle + Labru: Messy. Obvious abuser has captivated me (I’m witnessing the horrors but I just do not get them.) There’s obvious history between Lion and Thistle and that just makes it worse because Thistle is like. Only 19. And Lion is probably in his mid to late 40s. I’m being manipulated out of my mind but my dick is so hard idc

Meanwhile Labru is deciding how they’re gonna free me from this prison. Thistle helps. Kabru and Thistle kinda stop hating each other and form a truce (however they never really get romantic. Thistle is an Oxy simp through and through.)

Anyways it’s crazy. It makes it even more difficult because Lion starts to paying rent for me (“as a gift”, but it’s just another means of control) and Labru, being two 20s losers (Laios is a retail worker and Kabru is a student) are weighing the pros and cons of being financially stable versus having their partner basically. Under some guys thumb.

Thistle isn’t paying rent but he should (literally comes from a rich fam). We make him cover groceries (he indulges in my need for fancy ice cream. He’s swiping Daddy Delgal’s card without even thinking).

[non-neutoniangender]

So I finally got my life together enough to continue my C3 watch... I'm still at 33, I've made more progress on C1 recently. Finally the combination of finding Mini Metro and actually logging onto Tumblr on the web made the barrier of watching Those Episodes bearable.

Spoilers for ep 33 and minor vibe spoilers for episodes in the future that I'm not sure of but its all stuff I absorbed via osmosis and fandom.

It's been almost a full year since these episodes came out and I was mindlessly scrolling Tumblr during my 10am linguistics lecture and stumbled upon everyone panicking because of the lack of diamonds for the amount of people who died. Anyway.

The anxiety of not quite remembering exactly I learned happened is not doing me any favors, but good god, I can really only handle some of this stuff not watching live.

Anyway, here are some assorted thoughts:

Liam you really did not have to make me Feel Things about Orym and his husband while Orym is passing out.

Laudna what is that spell that adds hit dice, that is So Good

Good GOD Otohan is not pulling any punches.

.....this is so close to TPK wow.....

Matt hesitating before essentially killing his wife's character, but doing it anyway.....

It's really interesting to see so many of them up and huddled around the map, things are really getting heated, with Liam just living behind Ashley and Laura's chairs.

"I don't want to be the only one not dead" followed immediately by "soometiiimees you gotta cut a bitch" Yes Travis, that is the correct energy to bring to this clusterfuck.

:OOOOO Not the natural 20 to fucking save Laudna

Begging the DM for the extra hit point like its gonna matter lmao

"I should be more complete at my job" Good GOD

The sending stone 😢

And there's the first one

"We've met before" 😒😒

The sense of failure, the bitersweet feeling of seeing Will and Derrik again 😢😢

I hate it for them that they are getting important lore while they are on the verge of a TPK and loosing their characters

and yet they make jokes like "we can't afford that Sam" to careless whisper

"He is not a creature at the moment" :O omg. Ow. God that hurts.

I gotta say, I'm really enjoying seeing all these hail mary type moves.

You really only see the uber creative dumb shit Hail Mary calls when things are extremely dire.

I love how Beau's voice and mannerisms sneak out a lot as bits and jokes

And there's the second

"That was a helluva run" 😢

"Embrace it or be culled like the rest" oh my god

"That brings us straight to your initiative because everyone else ahead of you is dead" Oh my god Matt

If this actually tpk'd, this would probably be in the running for the longest, most painful tpk. Usually its all at once, rocks fall, everyone dies, the dragon breath attack....

Something about Travis repeating "do you fight it" to laura is so sweet to me.

Also Imogen is making such a wild decision mid potentially worst day of her life omg.

"Save your last line, you might still have a chance" Damn Matt you didn't have to be Like That

"I give in, and I fuck Chetney" "We all do at some point" 🤣

"Is she your favorite" and the immediate "I'll go with you, I give in" oh my god. Having seen that clip of Laura being like 'I didn't know Imogen was in love with Laudna' oh my god the pining is there.

Oh shit the whole city is turning red.

And THATS the end..................

I was gonna go to bed but........ Maybe I can afford to make 1 poor decision

I love the friendship, everyone congratulating each other and matt, no hard feelings. But I wonder how many people are rolling up characters just in case cuz oh my god.

[purplesurveys]

1898

Do you ever wonder how Atheist people raise their kids? I do. There's admittedly some envy in there somewhere lol, but it's mostly intrigue about what the dynamics at home must be like. I live in an overwhelmingly Christian population where every single aspect of life is influenced by religion; so considering I've identified myself as atheist in a place where it's virtually nonexistent, it's something I find myself thinking about once in a while.

If you’re atheist, would you raise you kids believing in God or not? Absolutely not. They can explore, ask questions, even pick a faith to go by if they want to; but I will not be the first one to tell them anything about gods.

How long does it usually take you to finish answering a survey? Usually anywhere from 40 minutes to one hour, depending on the length or how fast I can think of my answers.

Do you spell it gray or grey? Gray.

If you make surveys, how do you decide about its title? I don't make them. I'm terrible at coming up with questions.

When are you going back to school? I don't need to; I graduated four years ago.

If you don’t go to school anymore, what do you do? I work in public relations; agency side.

Do you care about other people’s status messages? Like on Facebook? Sure. It's always nice to know what people are up to, the new places they've been traveling to or the life goals they've been reaching. The only theme I don't particularly like encountering are warfreak posts? like when they still subtweet (idk the equivalent term on Facebook haha). Come on sis we're in our mid 20s.

Do you like reading self help books? No.

What is your opinion on sex change? Your body, your choice. Glad to see there's been more opportunities to let this happen for those who need it.

Do you think that this will take away the essence of gay pride? ...What?

What do you do when you tell a really bad joke? I let it eat me up anywhere between 3 to 7 days, lol.

If you’re still a virgin, how important is your virginity to you? Not much, it's never mattered to me. I gave it up when I was 18 and never thought twice about it before or after.

If you have lost it already, do you regret it? No.

Do you believe in marriage? Why or why not? I believe in it, I don't believe it's a life requirement.

Do you like having a huge group of friends or would you rather have few close friends? Few close friends. The older I get, the more I enjoy my own company. That said I only let very few people in my circle now.

Do you have any goals for this summer? If so, what are they? Summer's over, but I didn't set goals. I did travel abroad, which wasn't something I specifically set out to do but was still nice to have done.

Or do you plan on getting a summer job? Or do you already have one? I've had a job the last four years.

If so, where do you work and what do you do? I work in a PR agency, doing PR work for consumer brands. Some of them you definitely know about and consume; some of them more up-and-coming and aptly needing the help.

Do you watch the TV show Skins? If so, who’s your favorite character? Never watched it.

And which generation do you prefer? Or do you equally love both?

Do you know someone who still typpe thiszz wayy? No.

Would you take a break after graduating from high school (like, postpone going to college for a year or so)? I didn't do that. Where I'm from, a gap year is just for the super rich who have safety nets no matter what they do or pursue, so...ew. Most need to fight to live.

Do you feel tired after stretching? No, it feels nice.

Can you get a strike at bowling? Only on Wii Sports, haha.

Do you use Facebook? If so, what is your favorite application there? Yes, but apps stopped being trendy there yearsssss ago.

It seems like everyone’s addicted to Twitter these days - are you? I fucking hate Twitter. I keep it to stay updated and to read translations for all BTS releases, but I stay the fuck out of any conversation. Everyone's always dragging, cancelling, bullying, shaming, discriminating someone else these days on there.

[leastdatablebracket]

ROUND 3, MATCH 5

Propaganda under the cut!

Drake Walker

Propaganda

Jobless complainer with a codependent relationship with his best friend (Liam) who bitches about monarchy and nobility constantly, even though he benefits from staying at the royal castle for free. I think it might be mentioned once... in book 3 or the sequels that he actually does some work around the place... seems like something that the writers threw in to make Drake seem less like a useless freeloader. Rude as fuck for literal no reason, obsessed with being a man, he's chock full of toxic masculinity. Won't ice skate, hates the opera, won't drink wine or "girly" drinks, sees fancy food and I feel like he complains just for the hell of it. Just a general pill of a human to be around. Grown ass man (mid to late 20s) who hates the royal life so much, he can just leave! Get a job! Move out! He doesn't have to 24/7 be on call to emotionally support Liam! He can move into the city and call or visit his BFF whenever Liam is having a crisis or needs support or advice or whatever. Utterly ridiculous situation to have Drake there constantly hating on everything. Obsessed with manly stuff only like whiskey and eating BBQ or sloppy joes or some shit like that. Complained in the third book about a pink wedding cake (or decorations?), which caused Drake Walker stans to actually get angry (although he would literally do this, he 100% would bitch about pink) and the writers took out that line. I guess dissing on pink things was just Too Much finally for Drake Walker fans. You have to pay diamonds (the premium currency) to see the soft side of this RO, which is so hilarious to me... why would I ever pay diamonds to spend MORE time with this guy??? I don't need to see Drake's "soft for only one person" scenes, I need to punt him into the sun. Drake Walker fans used to be or still are insane so god help you if you put this horrible man in the bracket. Choices has really fallen though, they lost 90% of their tumblrinas when they introduced their subscription model, so you might avoid the DW discourse. 

His vibes are rancid 

The propaganda here is perfect, but to add a bit for Drake, at one point they rewrote some of the original game, and do you know how they tried to make Drake more likable? They made the main LI of the game, normally a sweetie, a jerk fuck boi. Like the only way the creators of Drake could think to make him more likable was to just make the other characters worse.

Vace

Propaganda

well you (the pollrunner) already know cause hes ur icon but i will say that at least he is meant to suck as a romantic partner with only one ending (two if you include astronaut) having him and sol (the player character) staying together on the other end tho there's three ways to start dating him one is to make him go to therapy n then start dating after he is no longer abusing his girlfriend (either breaking them up by convincing him to dump nemmie or convincing nemmie that hes the scumbag he is n she deserves better) another is to be his side piece and the third way is getting him so mad he drags sol off by the neck to beat the shit out of them with this event ending with either him n sol sleeping together (also causing him and nemmie to break up) sol getting the living daylights beat out of them (to the point they got knocked out n needed medical care) with the implicit threat of vace will do this again if they dont stay out of his way and sol avoiding both of those things but being so shaken by the experience that theyre struggling to breath until theyre outside and fully away from him which gives a very different undertone to hooking up with him in this event

[aarid]

bitching about the queer community a little from the perspective of a trans man based on the last thing i reblogged but

GOD that really is it isn’t it, that’s how goddamn isolating this community feels some days. on top of the movement to praise women (please keep doing this btw, we win together or not at all) wrapping around into actively double-standard-misgendering people (’girlies/girl help/etc’ being seen as gender-neutral and almost exclusively coming from...not men, but also those same people yell at you if “dude” or “bro” is gender-neutral in your personal lexicon) or just flat-out discouraging people from being positive toward men (this is TERF rhetoric please clear your mental cache every once in a while), we’re locked out from the solidarity we built up with women before we ever came out. we go from someone who Knows (tm) to The Enemy (tm) the moment we swap pronouns, and it’s heartbreaking. this is EXTREMELY prominent for older trans men. so many of us didn’t know for so long. i was 25. i’m 31 now. i’ve only spent 20% of my life knowing who i am and living as a man, and i was raised in a very queer-positive environment and was out to EVERYONE within a week of realizing i was trans. people who find out in their mid twenties or later have already had their literal entire childhood shaped by misogyny, especially those who were NOT raised in queer-friendly environments. and then we’re out, and we’re shoehorned in next to cis men that don’t accept us until we’re so transitioned we can be stealth, and are told there’s no way we understand what women go through, like i don’t still bleed, like i don’t have tits, like i wouldn’t fucking get it in the deepest center of my bones even if i were post-op because i lived it for a quarter of a fucking century. and this goes both goddamn ways. trans women are women and can still be misogynistic as FUCK because they were raised in the box that perpetuates that and society treated them differently growing up. stop with the "man-hating feminist” bullshit, stop with the “trans men can’t understand misogyny the way women understand it,” stop with the “trans women can’t be wrong about women’s struggles” shit. we are human beings. the parts we were born with may not value us one way or another intrinsically, but every one of us grew up in a societal norm that we have to unlearn and pick apart because of the circumstances of our birth. that’s part of the world we currently live in and until we DO pick it apart and learn to be better, it is not going to change. and be a little goddamn nicer to trans men, fuck’s sake.

[rom-e-o]

Oddly Specific Constance Headcanons (Questions by rpmemestbh)

How does your muse feel about seafood?

Constance is a New York girlie, and LOVES SEAFOOD! Lobster, clams, oysters, all of it. She’s one of those people who can shoot oysters raw with no help.

What is their favorite piece of technology?

Well, this is mid-1800s London, haha, so ‘technology’ doesn’t really apply. Still, if she had to pick, probably the abacus. While she can do math decently fast in her head, her memory can be spotty, so the abacus really helps!

When did they lose their virginity?

Constance lost her virginity at age 20 on her wedding night with her first husband, Orin Gustav Spiegler.

Was there anything their parents pushed them to do? (e.g. sports, theatre, band)

Her mother urged her to learn French (which she didn’t love or hate). She was much more passionate about mathematics and physics.

Describe your muse’s worst nightmare.

Losing her mother or loved ones. When her father (Arthur) passed away, it was said all of New York heard her wail that day. Once she marries Ebenezer, she’s terrified of losing him as well. Once she has children, she’s terrified of losing them. “You can’t die before me - I can’t make it alone!”

What is a deal-breaker when it comes to dating someone?

Physical violence or a desire for non-con activities. This is in addition to the list of other things like…being a murderer, etc.

What was the most embarrassing moment in your muse’s life?

She is horribly embarrassed of likenesses painted when she was a young girl. She was an awkward little thing (beaver teeth, cowlicked bangs, the works). She truly believes there are no ugly people in the world…except her when she was a child, as heartbreaking as that is.

What keeps your muse up at night?

Silly things, usually. Her mind has a hard time slowing down. She’ll roll over and be like, “Hey. Do you think sharks sleep? If they do…do they sink? That sounds sad.”

What chronic illnesses does your muse have, if any?

Chronic pain from two broken femurs from a nasty fall down the stairs.

Does your muse get carsick seasick?

Thankfully, no! She actually has a pretty strong stomach when it comes to food, drink and travel!

Does your muse wear glasses/contacts?

Nope!

What are some warning signs that your muse is getting depressed? 

If Constance is silent, something is wrong. If she stops taking care of herself (doesn’t bathe, clean teeth, change clothes) things are REALLY wrong.

What is your muse’s favorite candy?

Not a candy, but she like sarsaparilla. She’s a bigger fan of baked goods, where raspberry tarts and sugar cookies are her favorite.

Does your muse have a “victory song” and if so, what is it?

She loves anything by Mozart, so I’d say anything by him.

Who do they tend to bicker with the most?

Probably her mother, because they’ve known each other the longest. It’s always playful bickering though, never serious.

Has your muse ever been hospitalized or institutionalized? 

After Orin pushed her down the stairs, she was hospitalized for an extended period. She was also previously hospitalized for an attempted s*icide. In both cases, doctors were paid off by her ex-husband to keep media coverage quiet.

Does your muse pray, whether it be to a god or some other force?

Constance really isn’t the praying type. Not that she doesn’t keep people in her thoughts or wish them well, but since religion wasn’t big part of her life, it’s not an action she defaults to. That being said, she is a believer in karma.

Has your muse ever lived in poverty?

No, never. She recognizes her privilege and is very thankful of that.

Do they have any distinct voice mannerisms? (e.g. saying ‘like’ or ‘um’ a lot, stutters) 

Her New York accent comes out more strongly when she’s frantic or scared.

Where are your muse’s ancestors from? Do they keep any of their traditions?

Connie was adopted at age two by her parents, Theresea and Arthur DoGoode. She knows nothing of her family before them – not her lineage, not her ethnicity, not her ancestry, not her bloodline, nothing.

When did your muse learn about sex?

Her parents were quite progressive and made sure she was educated on sex once she reached you adolescence.

What is your muse most thankful for?

Her family and loved ones. She truly treasures the people in her life.

What shoe size is your muse?

I….have not thought of this before. Haha. Um…7.5?

Does your muse hate their middle name? \ What is it?

She likes her middle name! It’s ‘Albany.’ It’s unconventional, in her mind! A fun conversation-starter, for sure.

How many hours a day do they spend on the internet/watching TV?

Yeah, 1800s London, haha. She reads when she can, but since she’s an extrovert and a workaholic, she tends to spend more time socializing with company than spending time alone with entertainment like music or books.

Does your muse have any trophies?

She graduated from a women’s college in Maine, which was a monumental achievement at the time!

If your muse was given the opportunity to go sky diving, would they?

Probably not. She’s outgoing and vibrant, but only really daring if she has to be.

What is the most common lie your muse tells themselves?

“It’ll be fine!”

Has your muse ever had a pet? If so, what type?

She had a brown cat growing up named Sugar.

Who was your muse’s first kiss?

Connie’s first kiss was another female classmate in school. Her name was Cecile, and one day, the two girls skipped French lessons to get fresh in a closet. Many were jealous of Cecile that day, haha.

What is your muse’s first memory?

Seeing the giant Christmas trees across New York during the holidays. Her parents would buy fresh donuts, and the three would go on long walks, hand-in-hand, to watch the lightings and decorations. This was also when the little girl experienced her first snowfall.

How does your muse feel about crocs?

She would hate them, lmao. She is NOT the kind of person to insult anyone’s outfit or taste (unless you’re a jerk, then you’ve earned it) but she is very much a “I will wear six-inch heels gardening” girl, so casual/comfort isn’t her thing. Not bad, just not her thing.

What are your muse’s biggest pet peeves?

Of someone tries to talk to her while she’d working or trying to work through problems, she will get short really quick. Not exactly angry, but definitely snippy.

What was your muse’s happiest birthday?

Her 40th birthday, because a few days later, she gave birth to her first child with her second (and final) husband, Ebenezer Scrooge.

Does your muse cross their legs/ankles when they sit?

She constantly crosses her legs, even though it makes her pain flare up. Old habits die hard.

What simple task is your muse surprisingly bad at?

Walking. She’s a klutz. She’ll fall, topple, trip multiple times a day. She always laughs it off, but it does give Ebenezer a scare every time.

Did your muse ever own a Tamagatchi?

No, but she would have LOVED them.

What was your muses’s first job?

In her late teen’s she cut her teeth in the banking scene by working as a secretary in one of her father’s offices in New York.

Does your muse usually go for truth or dare?

DARE, 1000% She always immediately regrets it (one time, eating five dandelions on a dare) but always proceeds to choose ‘dare’ again the next time anyway.

Has your muse ever been to a concert?

Constance adored symphonies and operas, and goes as often as she can. Once she and Ebenezer begin their courtship, and after they marry, the theater is a common place to find the couple.

What is your muse’s favorite holiday?

New Year’s! She loves the glitz, the glamor, the parties, etc.!

Does your muse reply to scary chain emails/messages?

Nope. She’s not superstitious, so in the trash those letters go!

Describe the first person your muse remembers losing.

She doesn’t remember her parents leaving her, but she does remember the loss of her father Arthur. She spent days weeping, then weeks in near silence.

Would your muse ever roleplay?

OH YES. Constance loves social engagement theater, flamboyant trends, singing – all these things would culminate into her being a perfect roleplay partner!

What is your muse’s Hogwarts house?

I know nothing about Harry Potter, so I’m gonna skip this one, lmao. I have absolutely no clue which I’d choose for her.

What is your muse’s first thought upon waking up?

Not really a thought, just…an appreciation for being alive. This comes after her divorce from Orin. Before they separated, her thoughts were much darker, although she never expressed them publicly.

Name a song your muse can sing every word to. 

She loves party songs and other nursery rhymes. She also has a soft spot for sea shanties.

Who would your muse sacrifice themselves for, if anybody?

Her mother, Ebenezer, and (really) all her close friends/family and their children. When Orin threatens Tiny Tim with violence unless Constance comes to him, she does so willingly and without a second for her own life.

Also, for lost animals. If a dog was stuck on the train tracks, she’d hop down to save it. A dumpster on fire with a cat screaming inside? She’ll jump into trash.

How long is your muse’s penis? || What bra size is your muse?

Ah, the subject of many tabloid gossip columns across New York and London, haha! Well, it’s a secret, of course! 😉

If your muse could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?

Abuse, in every form. Predation. Cruelty. Psychological.

[wlwhq]

hey all!! under the cut are some wanted plots for each of my muses, shoot me an im or like this if any of these are calling your name and id be happy to plot something out with ya! <3

(ps everyone's a sapphic below so give me all your sapphics plz)

soleil. late 20s. baker. jasm.in savoy brown fc. switch.

fwb where your muse is getting attached and soleil is being distantly distant as per usual

someone else in the baking/cooking/restaurant industry where they could work together??

mikayla. mid/late 20s. interior designer. saman.tha logan fc. top.

little sister's best friend ship for the angst of a secret relationship

rich well off milf for mick to work for in designing a new mansion

nora. mid 50s/early 60s. lawyer. julia lou.is dreyfus fc. top.

law student/maybe a law professor if we lean into the collegiate territory (insert crazy eyes here)

anywhere where she can be a sug.ar mommy please !!

mariana. late 30s. er doctor. americ.a ferrera fc. switch.

FELLOW DOCTORS/INTERNS/NURSES/PLZ.........

someone to help her lighten tf up

samantha. late 30s. defense attorney. sara.h snook fc. switch.

fellow older woman who can take her on a sexual Journey of discovery

another lawyer at her firm, so there can be Late Nights Working...

maggie. early 30s. dancer. ari.ana deb.ose fc. bottom.

i have a spider-woman verse pls dont let it go to waste...give me your super villains and your drastically angsty anti-heroes she will love them

also a verse with her as a backup dancer for a famous performer, touring together....it could get ga.y

rowan. early 30s. paramedic. er fi.ghtmaster fc. top.

older sibling's wife. imagine the side eyes emoji here

old ex from college that can't resist the Energy!! & hooking up

darcy. late 30s. restaurant owner. katie mc.grath fc. switch.

regular at her restaurant that's always trying to be flirty and darcy finally giving in

food blogger/food critic that's always hanging around or stopping by bc can't get enough of the food or of darce

violet. early/mid 30s. speech language pathologist. tat.iana mas.lany fc. switch.

bc vi works with a lot of kids, maybe give me your single moms??? please???

older friend of her dads who she thinks is hot pfft

georgia. late 30s. executive chef. nata.sia demetriou fc. switch.

another chef at her restaurant who she has a love/hate relationship with and refuses to give the time of day

former therapist who worked georgia through all of her shit a decade ago and now they're friends/casual??

destiny. early 30s. therapist. quin.ta bruns.on fc. bottom.

give her someone to simp over my god she's probably the softest out of my muses

grad school bestie that maybe they would occasionally hook up? and don't talk about it so they don't ruin the friendship?

syd. mid 20s. tattoo artist. kehla.ni fc. top.

tattoo clients/fwb!! she'll accept payment in head

someone they used to cam for regularly

cole. early 20s. barista. liv hewson fc. switch.

someone they look up to (professor, coworker, counselor) that understands the they/them experience

current girlfriend who goes on a cross-country road trip with them in a bid to get out of their small town and start Living

evie. mid 30s. florist. taylo.r swif.t fc. bottom.

acquantaince of her mom that she's seeing on the low low

someone who doesn't give a shit that she comes from money and doesn't care who she is (that would make her so !!!)

aurora. early 50s. tech ceo. hann.ah wadd.ingham fc. top.

i cannot stress enough how much of a sugar mom.my she is. please.

fellow mil.fs to form a mil.f alliance with

nadja. 500+. vampire badass. nat.asia deme.triou fc. switch. canon character from wwdits

LESBIAN VAMPIRE POLYCULE PLEASE!!!

also if any of y'all write as the guide i will cry

disclaimer that nadja is just a test muse of mine and i might be bad at her so PLZ

[sandwrrm]

from the ask list thing— bo-katan, for whichever ones you want/all:D

Aaaaa thank you! I did almost all of them but left out a few that I couldn't think of anything good for. Without further ado--

— a fun headcanon

She is really good at video games, especially FPS and strategy games (naturally.) She grew up kind of a loner and spent most of her teens holed up in her room not knowing what to do with herself, and this was one of her major pastimes.

— a sad headcanon

The scar on her forehead came from a near-miss of being fatally stabbed during an attack on the palace during the civil war, when she was only about 6-7. Fortunately she managed to dodge just enough for the blade to graze her skin and nothing worse. (I have a lot of uh. much sadder headcanons from this same night/event, but I’m not revealing them yet because I want to turn them into a proper fic >:D )

— a headcanon that canon doesn't disprove (yet lol, this could change in mando s3 now that we’re getting more Bo history)

She joined Death Watch ~4-5 years before TCW canon, but continued to feign a normal life in Sundari and a relationship (albeit a strained and not-very-close one) with Satine while actively double-crossing her and plotting to overthrow her behind her back. Satine didn’t find out any of this until right after the shit went down with Death Watch being exposed in general.

— a headcanon to spite canon, specifically

She is somewhere between 23-26 during TCW. Not 17. Not the same age as Satine. Early to mid 20’s. I will die on this hill.

— a headcanon about their family

Mom Kryze was not born a Mandalorian, she was the eldest daughter of a prominent Kalevalan noble family, and was adopted into the culture when she married Adonai... who was not a Duke until he married into her family, just an influential warlord and the head of clan Kryze.

— a missing scene that definitely happened

Not so much a headcanon but a speculation… something fucking intense must have gone down for her to lose the darksaber to Moff Gideon because?? she’s amazing at weilding it as we now see???

— I recognize canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it (+ what should have happened)

This is a bit controversial but in my headcanons, I tend to massively dial down her regret, deradicalization, and general arc towards redemption in favor of keeping her unhinged and villainous, just a bit more subdued with age. She’s just so fun and entertaining to me when she’s terrible….. I am happy with the direction they're taking her in current canon too though!

— something they believe about [other character] that isn't true

I headcanon that she had a lot of irrational, sometimes bordering on delusional, hate for her sister that often wasn’t based on anything true, but was founded on a twisted and dramatized misinterpretation of things she believed to be true about Satine and her actions, intentions, ideology, etc.

— their happiest memory

Having her dad's armor reforged to fit her and putting it on for the first time. I feel like it was kind of a “second birth” moment for her.

— favorite fanon relationship

I fucking live for anyone who writes Death Watch era Bo and Gar Saxon as antagonistic barely-frenemies who constantly give each other hell, I don’t know why it’s so funny and perfect to me but it is

— favorite should have been canon relationship

God. listen. not to get on my bullshit but Bo/Pre Vizsla…. Yes as a romantic ship because I'm trash of them, but I also just think more of their relationship and their past together “should have been canon” in the sense that I wish it was explained and fleshed out more, no matter what the nature of their relationship was. I’m dying to know what their history is, how they met, how Bo joined Death Watch, how she ended up his second-in-command, etc. I’m happy with my headcanons but I want to know what officially went down too!

Ask Meme post for anyone who wants it!